The Press. — London, England, 1854-09-09 00:00:00

SEPTEMBER 9, 1854. SPIRITS IN COUNCIL. 'Twas midnight by the clock of St. Paul's, By the clock within the Abbey walls, By the clock above the Horse Guard stalls — Twelve, or a little after. The Downing-street offices were closed, The Downing-street messengers reposed, And nothing was stirring, one would have supposed, Beneath the official rafter. The harvest moon At its highest noon Looked in at each upper story, The same moon which upon dancing leaves, And drooping flowers, and drowsy beeves, And dusky shocks, and dewy sheaves, Shone with a tender glory ; That moon looked down on a different sight In the heart of the sleeping town that night, In the region of Whig and Tory— A spectacle which shrunk from its light, Of the softest, mellowest amber, As too intrusive and searchingly bright-- In the Cabinet Council chamber. 'Twas shocking enough in the sight of day To see in that chamber Ministers grey Shuffle and wrangle and palter away The hopes of a trusting nation. But the imps and familiars there uncloaked, Who by the " Junta" had been evoked, Was a sight for consternation. 'Twas a dismal sight, Yet there they were, Perfectly bare ! And black as if they had come from the pit Naked and shameless, each on his chair, Plotting away with a confident air, By the innocent moonbeams lit : Spirits they were in number three, And they held unwholesome colloquy. " I'm come," said the first, " from Oxford halls, From Magdalen walks and Christchurch stalls, Where a pretty riot is brewing ; To take advantage of the Bill Which Gladstone framed with Jesuit skill For Protestants' undoing. Our list of candidates is ready, And, if the young M.A.'s are steady, The day shall come when Papal Rome Shall read its Bulls beneath Sheldon's dome. Item—to set another sail, I've also prompted John M'Hale To give his pastoral directions About our Irish friends elections." " And I," said the second, " from Clumber arrived, Where a notable project we contrived — To crush and allippress by an army of clerks, Directed by certain official sharks, The nuisance called public spirit'— To cover the British oak with blights, To nibble insensibly the rights Which Englishmen inherit. We've a plan to stifle and overwhelm All freedom of action throughout the realm, With a knot of red tape to tie up the helm, To shape but one course in all weathers : To draw up our bills we've a gross of goose quills, And we'll smother dissent with the feathers. We've got an understanding with Hayter, And we've given the cue to the Times and Spectator." "And I," cried the third, "have been longer away, And only came back from the East to-day, But I've done my share of the work. Through camp and fleet I quietly past, On the winp of a pestilential blast, And many fine fellows have looked their last Since I sent them to help the Turk. The Euxine wave and Varna's mound With a little management I found A good diplomatic station: I knew the convenience of delay, That hope deferred judiciously may Wear spirit and health and life away; So I kept up negotiation. As the pestilence helped me to my goal, And I heard the moan of each passing soul, I cheerfully thought that my new' Beau Role' Was worthy of observation. Since then I've made a more critical coup, (I do not wish to alarm ye), But I've hired the Times, between me and you, To abuse and discredit the army." " Say, brothers, then, are we now agreed That so far all is right ? Agreed ! Agreed ! Of course, agreed I As I am spawn of Jesuit spite— THE PRESS. _ 853 As I am the Bureaucratic Blight— As I am the pimp of the Muscovite— We're severally and conjointly agreed We've a good Report to-night." And so—and so on, in this business-like way, These imps discussed till the morning grey, Much in the style of their betters, With this distinction chiefly, that they Had fewer conventional fetters ; Possibly, if we could but know What had passed between Greville and One down below, We should find they were a commission, (Of course with arrangements for future pay), Appointed while the chiefs are away To work for the Coalition . X. CURIOUS AND IMPORTANT FRAGMENT. ;The following portion of a cancelled proofaheet evidently of a late American work of high authority In all matters relating to fashionable and political people has been forwarded to ua for publication.] THE "COALITION "—SIDNEY HERBERT, ETC. 209 MY DEAR —,—There's an everlasting talk here about some kind of thing they call a " Coalition," and though, as you may suppose, I felt quite an undertone of emotion to discover what on earth it could be, I did not permit it to be seen. One morning quite an amiable old gentleman, Mr. Sidney Herbert (not the one of Cherbury, but probably his nephew), said something about it in connection with a " Ministry," and " its dreadful and discouraging efforts to keep peace ; " so I concluded to set it down for a mis sionary society, but some one else said, quite sneerishly, that it was " a set of old women ; " so I chalked it off for a Dorcas association—" but," said he, afterwards, " what can you have of it and Aberdeen at the head of it?" "Oh ! " said I, "now I quite see it. It's a new schism in the Kirk." " New what? my dear Mrs. 5.," said the angelic Duchess of Pimlico. " Gracious me ! why they're talking of the Govern ment! "—and so, indeed, it was the Government they were illuminating upon, as of course the Duchess was aware, she being the sister of the Duke of Holborn and the Earl of Lambeth, and aunt to Lord Hoxton and Sir Ratcliff Highway. And now you'll say what I said, " What on airth can they mean by a Coalition Government? " You would never guess. Much as I have it borne in on me that America cannot compete in everything, this gave it a deeper touch. We are not advanced enough yet for a Coalition. We may gloss up as we please, but that's a fact. But I'll endeavour to describe it. A Coalition, then, you must know is a Ministry consisting of "Hard-Shell-Hunkers," " Froe-Soil-Democrats," " Loco focos," " Soft-Shells," " Free-Gravel-Abolition-Whigs," " Loafers," and " Know-Nothings," and all depending out-and-out on nothing but the " Irish-Ticket." Now, you cannot in any reasonableness realise such a Government as that located to Washington. Yet it's here, and if it aintjustgoing ahead it's a filling the public offices and writing despatches beautiful. An illnatured person persisted in saying that it had caused the war; but that was all starlight, for Lord Aberdeen, who was presented to me, though it was quite in an elbow-crush of lords, and sirs, and bishops, I could see would not be the man to have a hand in the war any more than my friend Joseph Sturge. Indeed, I was told that his lordship would have gone to try to persuade Nicholas to cool down, but that there was no room in the sledge, and he exceptioned to join the Friends without they would call Nicholas " Gracious Majesty," and other things which they could not pocket away. Besides, somebody told me that Mr. Herbert has married the Emperor's aunt; and as Mr. H. is the head of the War Department, and shortly going out to command the troops, be has told them all to grow moustachios just like the Emperor's, with " one inch between the moustache and the whisker." That would be no easy job you will say in New 210 THE " COALITION"-SIDNEY HERBERT, ETC. England, but their cheeks are considerable broader here in the old country. " ' lam quite at rest at last about the Coalition. Mr. Gladstone has given me such an account of it as almost lifted me off my feet. " A Coalition," said he, " Mrs, S., is a mutual misunderstand ing come to by several persons holding no opinions to sacrifice them by entering into a dissentient consent to pursue no general object each by separate, and at times divergent, but occasionally parallel, circles." " Gracious me! " said I, so astonished that there was scarcely a chip of me left, " how beautiful—l see it all !" " No," said he, " not yet. I suppose you, who are a very superior woman, my dear Mrs. S., will admit that if any two sides of a triangle are prolonged they will meet at some unknown point? " I signified that I realised the thing, and he went on. " Then, geometrically speaking, that is the precise nature of the Coalition. As anon as they have squared the political circle and found out their own longitude, they will extract the root, and just as the innate ideas are doubtless created by the impression of outward objects, and the various objects of political men are only various in appearance but quite identical in contradiction, so you see, Mrs. S. how it is." I thanked him very much, and thought, with a few months' reading of Jonathan Edwards, what a reviving New England preacher he would make. (Cetera Daunt.)