The Press. — London, England, 1857-03-28 00:00:00

MARCH 28, 1857. Premier, dazzled by his elevation, so unexpected, has adopted a man ner which can never be endured by the gentlemen of England. It will not be borne with them now. Ut to fortune" sic nos te, Celse, feremus, was a social sentiment in civilised antiquity ; and Parliamentary manners will not tolerate a tone of arrogance, never assumed by the greatest man who ever swayed the Commons of England. THE HUSTINGS AND THE NATION. 'Tis done at length ! the "ancient house," that bore Its weight of years so feebly, is no more ! Scant was its shrift at parting—scantier yet Fell, here and there, the accents of regret. One righteous vote, to truth and conscience due, Round its last hours a fitful lustre threw ; Then Pam and darkness reassumed their reign— The writs are out, and Chaos come again ! Puff rules supreme. Alarmed officials ply, With zeal unfeign'd, the laudatory lie ; The tender Post with admiration thrills ; With honied praise the hollow Times distils. Hayter and Coppock strain their " touting " pow'rs, From dedications cull the rankest flow'rs, Rob epitaphs to deck their chief, and shed Incongruous panegyrics round his head. Boast echoes boast, and sham replies to sham, Brag is the game—and whe can brag like Pam? What varied watchwords with his name combine ! What mingled banners wave along the line, When, prompt to bribe and all agog for jobs, His squad of placemen front distrustful mobs! All things to all men, can he fail to please? " Pam and the War !" "Lord Palmerston and Peace !" Now for Reform, and now for none he sings ; Now for the people's wrongs, and now their kings. As varying foes demand the varying end. The Record's champion or the Tablet's friend. Who bade, d'ye ask, yon Irish lawyers rise ? The " Man of God!" each winking priest replies. Who raved of tyrants, then denied relief Each chuckling despot cries, the Liberal Chief ! And well such motley tribute fits his case, Chameleon-hued, and constant but to place. Which be his views? What CEdipus can show? Speak, man of leaders, speak, decorous Lowe! Quote one true word, one plain confession read, To give the world assurance of his creed. Say what he was, or is, or means to be, And I've a plumper, Bob, for him—or thee ! Whig, Tory, Radical, whate'er the claim His hirelings urge, their plaudits are the same. But can this Babel be a nation's voice? This Proteus of the hustings Britain's choice? No! Venal clamour may awhile delude, In truth's despite, the untaught multitude ; But short the triumphs of the double tongue, Soon pall the strains by hired retainers sung ; And more precarious yet the trickster's aid From wholesale promises at random made. To-day's loose pledge shall be to-morrow's debt, And dupes abjure a Bankrupt Cabinet! A DIALOGUE WITH OUR MEMBER. BY A WESTMINSTER ELECTOR. ELECTOR.—Sir John Shelley, allow me to congratulate you that you are once more entitled to add M.P. to your name. Sir JOHN.—Thank you, Sir. Had a contest taken place, I conclude that I should have been favoured with your vote ; and therefore I beg you to accept my acknowledgments. ELEcroa.—Frankly, Sir John, that would have depended on circumstances. I would rather have voted for you, a gentleman, than for the keeper of a suburban circulating library ; but had any decent candidate started, Liberal or Conservative, I should have voted against you. Sir Jous.—Happily there is no need to suppose an unpleasantness But may I ask why I should have been opposed by you ELECTOR.—AIIow me to reply by another question. Sir JOHN.—With all my heart. ELECTOR.—Why, on earth, should anybody have voted for you ? Sir JOHN.—Really, that is a very abrupt and disagreeable way of putting a case. You compel me to recount my own merits. ELECTOR.—The very thing I want you to do For, to tell you the truth, I have been in vain trying to get at them from anybody else. Sir JOHN.—WeII, I am a Liberal. ELECTOR.—Ah ! Well, lam rejoiced to hear it. What is a Liberal? Sir JOHN.-11a! ha! THE PRESS. ELECTOR.—If you can't or won't tell me, I have no objection to join in the laugh ; but I would rather have the answer. Sir JoHN.—A Liberal ! Why, my dear Sir, a Liberal is—what I am. ELECTOR.—That is something like a definition. A Liberal is a man who talks mu'h, does nothing, and votes wrong. Sir JOHN.—You are really exceedingly coarse in your way of speaking. I should be sorry to owe support to so very unrefined a person. ELECTOR.—Come, come, you are not Lord Sudeley yet, Sir John, and can afford to talk to UN plebeians in our own language. We lam low people in Westminster, but we mean honestly. If you don't like my definition of a Liberal, give me your own. Sir JOHN. —Definitions are foolishness. It is better to find out what a man is by what he does than to label him with a nickname. E LECTOR.—A very sound and sensible speech. Let us find you Out by what you do. What do you do ? Sir JOH N.—l am guided in my political course by the spirit of enlightenment and the requirements of the age, which ELECTOR.—Stay, stay, Sir John. You were a Charterhouse boy, and no doubt learned all sorts of elegant imagery for your Latin verses ; but we are low people in Westminster, we do not understand images, and can take in only one idea at a time. We'll begin with your spiritlamp—your spirit of enlightenment. What's that? Sir JOHN.-0, well, I think that is pretty well understood. ELECTOR.—In that case there is the less difficulty to explain it. Pray do. Sir JOHN.—It means the—the general comprehension ths.t—the march of intellect, in fact. ELECTOR —But who holds the lamp, and who marches, that's what I want to know ? Sir JOHN.—Why, the public generally. ELECTOR —That's coming to the point. Then what the public generally think is right, you do? Sir JOHN.—Subject, of course, to the right of exercising my own judgment upon all questions whatever. ELECTOR.—Quito proper, and independent, and highminded. And how, Sir John, do you ascertain the opinion of the public ? Sir JOHN.—In various ways. Through the journals, for instance. ELECTOR —Ah! On this Chinese question, now, many journals assailed, and many journals approved the conduct of Ministers. How did you strike the balance? _ _ _ Sir JOHN. —ln a difficulty, I should feel that I had a right to inquire what journals were most read by my constituents, and which were therefore most likely to exercise an effect upon their opinions. ELECTOR.—Perfectly wise and right. The gentlemen who write the papers trim your lamp of enlightenment, and then you walk by its light. You are, in fact, no member for Westminster, but a delegate of the newspapers read in Westminster. I asked you why anybody should vote for you, and am answered. Sir JOHN.—This is all very well, but unpractical. If I (lid not represent the people, would they leave me in possession of my seat? ELECTOR.—FairIy put; but my reply must, I fear, put the extin guisher on your spi►it-lamp. If the people were enlightened, you would be rejected. A strong light would make you transparent, but a bad one leaves you opaque, and makes a Sham into a Somebody. I do not want to be rude, but what have you done fur the people? Sir JOHN.—I have voted for the Ballot. ELECTOR.—Had you not known that the Ballot is impossible in England, I %.ould applaud your chivalry, for the Ballot would clear the House of all Shelleys, whatever it might substitute. Sir JOHN.—I am for giving the Suffrage to all ratepayers. ELECTOR.—You mean that you will vote for it, if anybody else should happen to make the proposition. Sir Jour.—l am for economy in public affairs. ELECTOR.—And support a policy which makes economy impossible. Sir JOHN —I am for peace. ELECTOR.—And support a policy of incessant aggression. Sir JOHN.—I am for Reform. ELECTOR.—Aud support a Minister who declares that no Reform is requisite. Sir JoHN.—I think you are disposed to be captious, and as I happen to be M.P. for Westminster, I should prefer to terminate our discussion. ELECTOR.—On the basis of my accepting your own definition of a Liberal, which you have abundantly justified—one who talks much, does notling, and votes wrong. Sir Jons.-1 dislike vulgarity. The Elector u left, plante, wishing there had bun a conies/. Exit. MR. W. WILLIAMS'S TITLE. IN confirmation of Mr. William Williams's assertion, that the Govern ment endeavoured to purchase his support by offering him a title, wo are enabled to name the very title which Mr. whispered in his ear. It was COUNT OUT. THE PILOT PREMIER. "'Tis a tempest—when various elements form A sudden and sharp ' Coalition' together," Says the Globe ; " Pam's the Pilot that weathered the storm ! " Why, he's more like the Pilot that stormed at the weather ! PALNIERSTON SAUCE. The City its fame for a feed may claim ; The Lord Mayor offers his guests a boon— A condiment rare to give zest to the fare— Palmerston sauce in a Granville spoon ! ~--._