The Press. — London, England, 1854-12-02 00:00:00

THE PRESS. DECEMBER 2, 1854. AN APPEAL TO THE BENEVOLENT. Old rags, old brass, Old hats and broken glass ; Whatever ain't no use at all, I've got a bag 'ill hold 'em all. Rustic Hawker's Rhyme, adopted at Downing•street. All ye who have feeling to pity the fate To which war has consigned the chief servants of State, Give from your abundance some aid to the dearth Of a mendicant Government crippled from birth. No vulgar impostors your kindness implore, You can see for yourselves every fracture and sore ; So luckless a family ne'er did you meet Paraded to whine its distress in the street. Have you pity for age? See that winters fourscore Have silvered the head of our patriarch o'er; All hopeless and helpless his Lordship stands forth, Of snowdrops the last from the ice of the North. So, if you have the hearts to know The sad condition to which fate is Consigning Aberdeen and Co., And how each Minister of State is In danger right about to go Except supplies are sent him gratis— 'Tis time you should at length he told We bade our troops the war begin in A style so far unlike the old That people raise our ears a din in, And from each taproom we are told Of want of drugs, and lint, and linen. Do, then, of your charity, Look your wardrobes through and see If you can in pity find What Ministers are paid to mind. Be your garret stores unrolled, Shirts and coats howe'er so old, Hats of every shape and trim, Though as broad as Bright's in brim. In our begging we combine Clothes, and drugs, and stores, and wine; So we pray you carry all Your spare trifles to Whitehall, Sign of the War-office " doll." RUSSIAN ANTICIPATION OF THE ROYAL SPEECH. [The London correspondent of the St. Petenburgh Gazette, who, as is well known, has very peculiar sources of information, has the following anticipation already despatched, that it may appear by telegraph on the 12th in his journal.] My Lords and Gentlemen, The appalling condition of every portion of the country has compelled me to assemble you, so that some terms may be made, in the hope of staying the impending revolution. The war undertaken in defiance of my first Minister has so disgusted the masses of the people, that you cannot have failed to notice that they carried the effigy of the Emperor of Russia in tri umphal procession on the fifth of November, amidst loud cheers. For these reasons I have thought it right to suspend the Habeas Corpus Act, and disarm the Quakers. I have, at the same time, found it impossible to avoid the extreme course of arresting the Greeks in London, and placing Finsbury-circus and Tottenham-green in a state of siege. It will be necessary to obtain from you a remedial act, justifying these unavoidable measures. Acting from the same motives, I have directed to be laid before you, at the earliest possible moment, a bill for the banishment of John Bright to St. Helena. Gentlemen of the House of Commons, It is with the utmost pain that I am compelled to inform you that there is not a shilling in the Exchequer, and that the popular discontent at the late assault upon Odessa, and the consequent pri vation of corn, has risen to so great a pitch that the Constitution is in imminent danger. You will, I doubt not, with your usual wisdom, see the necessity of providing for the possibility of a Russian inva sion, which, except the well-known clemency of the Emperor should come to our rescue, to all human appearance, will take place. For this purpose I have directed measures to be proposed to you for the arming of the lumber troop, and the staving such barrels of train oil as may be found within the bills of mortality. It will also be for your consideration whether those who may have taken the Chiltern Hundreds may not be requested to return them in the present dearth of men and money. The Chancellor of the Exchequer will lay before you the project of a loan from the State of Pennsylvania, secured by the cession of the island of Atlantis to that conamonifialth, 1141 My Lords aad Gentlemen, A plan has been drawn up by which the present hostilities may be arranged with a view to the peace and final prosperity of Europe. With this object, there will be submitted to you the basis of proposals for a peace, assuming only the abandonment of that " geographical anomaly " the Ottoman Empire, with the condition of Lord Aberdeen becoming Chancellor of that new portion of Russia ; the dividing of India between Russia and the Sikhs ; and the placing of the Greeks of Manchester under a protectorate presided over by Mr. Joseph Sturge. I take my leave of you, hoping that when your labours aro ended I may be enabled to assure you of the Emperor's betted lotion TOO LATE. "The result shows that what has been done in November ought to have been done ir. Sep tember. Will anybody, Minister or not Minister, have the courage to tell us that the war was not mimed iu the critical aitenturr months ? . . . A great deal has now been done, but it has been done at least two months too lute."—Tinter (leading article), Nov. 29, 1854. So the Peclites, like Falstaff, " dwindle and bate," And it's clearly perceived they're not up to weight; And what the 7 can do they do too late, (As the Times discovers)—too late ! And the Czar received notice that, if he'd wait, We purposed to pay him a visit of State, But he bolted the door, and, said he, " you're too late, My friends,—a little too late !" Thus an army was kept in magnificent state For the plague and the fever to decimate, And was led into battle too late, too lute, As we learn,—a little too late ! Then succour is sent at a pitiful rate, And a handful of heroes anxiously wait For reinforcements which come too late— Which come a little too late ! Sentimental Herberts gracefully prate, While many brave fellows arc left to their fate ; For lint and medicine come too late — As we sadly deplore,—too late ! Then Gladdy discerns that he's in for the plate, And wants to do bills at an easier rate, But the brokers say, " Gladdy, you're too late— We fear you're a little too late !" And the Parliament then is called in to debate On what appears a most critical state; But perhaps it may think it was called too late — Some two or three months too late! So the confident " Clerks " are not so great As w•e once supposed in matters of State; They're found out at last—but too late, too late — As wo fear—a little too late ! rij ti le i „calk rA4 • X. SCENE IN THE HOUSE OF LORDS. THEODORE HOOK'S STORY MODERNISED. FERSONAGES. — OId Lady from the Country. Young Gentleman about Town. OLD LADY : Perhaps, sir, you would kindly inform me who is that old gentleman who speaks with a Scotch accent, and is always talking about calumny ? INFORMANT : Gentleman, ma'am !—that is an old lady—Lady A—, Nurse Extraordinary to her Majesty. OLD LADY : Really, sir!—very extraordinary. And that very little gentleman, with the large hat, sitting down by that great chair? INFORMANT : That, madam, is General Tom Thumb, with a depu tation from the United States. The persons around him form the deputation. OLD LADY : Really, sir !—General Tom Thumb ! And that slight young person with red hair? INFORMANT : That, nuulam, is William Rufus. OLD LADY: No, sir; we know a little better than that. William Rufus has been dead many a long year. INFORMANT : Indeed. madam, 1 assure you, you must lee-ntistaken. Perhaps the Times may have told you so. But you know, ma:lam, no one believes the Times. (Exit Oid Lady, in indignation. ADVERTISEMENT. Wanted, a member for Marylebonc borough, Who must be a Lord and a Radical—thorough ! With no inclination, secret or sinister, To hold a place as Conservative Minister— A lean man like Cassius, too, hungry and humble, To play the part of a Marylebone "Bumble " Not wearing spectacles—also too proud To fawn on the few or to flatter the crowd — In his person, pretensions,capacities—all— Tlie very reverse 41f Sir Benjamin Hall, SG ' s I