The Press. — London, England, 1854-01-21 00:00:00

THE PRESS. 60 THE PEELITES.---No.II. TO THE EDITOR OF "THE PRESS." Sin,—My friends the Peelites were reclaimed to an active state by two processes—physically, by the properties of the well-known bark which acts as a stimulus to languid nerves ; and morally, by an esoteric accommodation of their dogmas to the test of worldly expediency ; so that in both respects we may fairly attribute their recovery from their Ultramontane coma to the ingenuity of the Jesuite. As soon as they were sufficiently convalescent to make their first appearance in public, those who were not aware of the expedients-to which they had recourse were prepared for some extraordinary mani festations. In the House of Commons, to which they successively gained an entrance, there was a lively apprehension of the severe homilies with which as theologians they were supposed to he pregnant. The Radical members took the measure of the young Oxfcrd monks with an impatient curiosity, and it is supposed that some of the com plaints as to the lighting of the House itself originated in a desire to discover Mr. GLADSTONE'S " nimbus." There are those who still remember the disappointment which was felt when neither he nor his companions were disposed to prophesy. The inquietude of the back benches was only gradually allayed when thi'y were discovered to be slily reticent and assiduously dull. Their disappointment of expectation was in no respect more remarkable than in their submission to the statesman who at that time led the Conservative party. In all essential particulars he was their public antipodes. He was intent on the definite and the near—they on the vague and transcendentally remote ; his objects were plain and intelligible, if they were limited—theirs were as confused and compre hensive as chaos. While he was thinking of Capel-court, they were dreaming of Cologne Cathedral ; while they were contemplating a new Avatar, he was considering the next Quarter's balance-sheet. I might go on with these antitheses—in the manner of MACAULAY with this difference, that the antitheses in this case represent a reality in the unprecedented gulf between Sir ROBERT PEEL and his Oxford adulators. How this was got over is a mystery which no one has yet thought of inquiring into. It was not by any " sacrifices "on the part of PEEL. The inference will be, till the publication of Mr. GLADSTONE'S " Confessions," that mediaeval aspirations were combined with Cocker's arithmetic by a sacrifice on his part which resembled the immolation of Tartuffe. The " sacrifice " was accomplished somehow, and these virgin Clorindas became the handmaids of the great Economist without any obtrusive ululation upon the mountains. Incontinently they sub mitted to the requirements of their position. They studied cwrulean literature, made long calculations in the intervals of shrift and penance, bound up slates wi It their little manuals of private devotion, and mingled " oughts" with their crosses. If Mr. GLADSTONE at that time indulged in a rosary it served indifferently for two purposes—to accompany his prayers, and to assist him in acquiring a knowledge of the multiplication table. He and his companions developed or acquired other inclinations from the example of their great leader. Despite of his greatness, he was not by nature self-reliant, but deferred incessantly to the vapid sciolism of his time. As their jesuitry implied a tendency to submit to a " Director," his disciples, in this sense, did homage to " the force of circumstances," which he recognised. They took their cue from the " spirit of the age," as they termed the spirit of the session, with a pliable adroitness, and to this day they have never ventured to assume the dignity of independent minds. At this moment they are lifting up their hands in pious horror at the capacity of another great statesman to proceed alone. To their submissive habits independence is so strange that they are admitting their belief that such courageous ness is quite "satanic." Another habit they also acquired in the same school, that of incessant assertion of the purity of their motives. To such an extent have they carried this amiable weakness, that they have become accustomed to regard the obtrusive profession as identical with the fact; and those who obey the rules of a better taste, who are more reserved if they are not less honest, have come to be regarded by them as " political infidels." They assert, and perhaps, to some extent, believe their assertion, that there is something " sardonic " in a con temptuous resolve to leave mercenary calumnies to their confutation by spontaneous truth. , With these accompaniments of self-mistrust and superfluous candour the Peelite " sacrifice " is still celebrated. It was not originally completed by a single rite, such, for instance, as circumci sion, but was distributed through a protracted ceremonial, like that of the Eastern dervishes. The Peelite followers had to participate in the gymnastio exploits of their leader. As he bowed they bowed, as SATIIRDAY, he revolved they revolved, his jumps were their jumps, and his spins their spins. They impute to others a transverse movem en t, deter mined by antipathies,—a description of chassez croisee ; their own wa s a sympathetic waltz. They saw at the same moment the same reasons for changing their course, and their simultaneous submission to the same impulse suggested the parallel, which the world will not forget, of the ingenuous Saxons who were " baptised in brigades an d con: vented in platoons." Henceforth I shall hold myself absolved for admiring jesuitry, when it can accomplish such admirable results. I propose, hereafter, to examine its operation in detail ; but thus far I contend, that jesuitry is justified, for without it my Oxford friends could never have taken position at all in the world of politics. They would have dawdled through life in one of those vegetable capacities I described in my former letter ; or, like the dwarf KVASIR, of Scandinavian repute, wh o died of a plethora of information because he could get no one to ask questions enough to relieve him, they might have dwindled away in some Puginized cloister, sickening into the last stage of saintly collapse, for want of an outlet for superfluous virtues. In the meantime I remain, sir, your humble servitor, JOHN OF THE FUNNELS. SEVEN REASONS WHY THERE NEVER CAN BE ANOTHER DERBY MINISTRY. 1. Because the Viceroyalty of Lord &MINTON was the most popular Government in Ireland since the Union. 2. Because the Court of Chancery was completely reformed. 3. Because the Militia, for the first time, was successfully established on the voluntary principle. 4. Because our foreign affairs were so conducted that a cordial under standing was maintained both with Russia and with France. 5. Because our rights to our American fisheries were effectually vindicated. 6. Because a fleet was prepared and manned, to become a source of perplexity to the present Cabinet. 7. Because the interest on Exchequer Bills was reduced, while those securities were, at the same time, maintained at a high premium. THE ROYAL SPEECH, AS THE PREMIER PREPARED IT, (But as instantly rejected ignominiously.) MT LORDS AND GENTLEMEN, lam happy to meet you again. I should have assembled you earlier, but that my Ministers have not had sufficient time to prepare their attacks upon the honourable member for Bucks. I am sorry that Mr. Disraeli's intrigues have involved this country in a war with Russia. It was partly Lord Malmesbury's fault, too, for, if he had not evinced so much willingness to be friends with the Emperor of France, Russia would not have been jealous, and would have accepted tho abject apologies Lord Aberdeen would have been happy to proffer. I receive assurances of friendship from all nations with which we arc not at war, and, but for the misgovernment of the late chancellor of the Exchequer and his colleagues, I dare say no qualification could have been necessary. J regret to state that my august sister, the Queen of Spain, has not been successful in rearing her last baby, a result due to the malignity of Mr. Disraeli, who dislikes children. I am sorry to be compelled to say that I must now support the Turks against the Russians. However, I find some consolation in the affair at Sinope, and in the belief that the Turks are being beaten in Asia. Our admiral has been ordered to take the worst side of the Black Sea, and, under Providence, we may hope that our ships will be disabled from injuring the vessels or fortifications of Russia. The whole war is Mr. Disraeli's doing, as will be explained to you. GENTLEMEN OF THE HOUSE OF COMMONS, The criminal ambition of Mr. Disraeli has compelled us to engage in war, and therefore you will have to vote more ships and more men. You will clearly understand that my Ministers are in no way to blame for this. The estimates which will be laid before you have been framed ns carefully as possible; an d, if M r . Di srae li a b sta i ns f rom picking holes in them, I dare say you will find them satisfactory. MY LORDS AND GENTLEMEN, In remitting you to the work of an arduous session, which will be rendered still heavier by the unjust hostility of the member for Bucks, I have every confidence that you will remember the great difficulties under which the present Cabinet came together, the awful sacrifices of principle and character they were glad to make for the good of the country, and the great services they have rendered by their . financial skill and diplomatic tact i n p reserv i ng th e p ros p er ity of this country and the peace of Europe. A t 1. i