The Press. — London, England, 1853-12-31 00:00:00

THE PRESS. DECEMBER 31, 1853. SCENE IV.-THE SUBTERRENE PANTECHNICON. [A cavernous apartment, dimly lighted, and of invisible dimensions. Certain personages in the centre stirring a cauldron. A depressing intinence affects their spirit,: as is shown by their caudal appendages, wh'et, instead of being cocked, are &awing limply in the dust.] Personage No. I.—The spell is incomplete ; our old expedients Require the presence of some new ingredients. Personage No. 2.—Yet we have sought wherever mischief lurks In mortal motives or in mortal works. Personage No. 3.—And all in vain ! But, lo! here comes Asmodeus, His quest successful or his presence odious. [Enter the Familiar Demon, with distended pockets and a fresh odour of sulphur, which pervades the apartment. lie intones the following] Here I am again, my hearties, Bringing aid from various parties. First, the flimsier illusions — Peas "leavings"—contributions Of a set of " Lilliputians " Shifts of waverers and waiters, Purists who collude with Hayters, Prudes who can coquet with Satyrs. Hero are scruples mixed with jobs, Holy reveries with Hobbes ; Gliulstone's private macerations, While he nutkes his calculations ; Molesworth's published annotations ; Plans to Puseyize the poor, Flanked with praises of Tom Moore; Smut and Psalters, I)ouay Bibles, Herbert's scorn and Hayward's libels. Here's a boasted bit of wealth, .Temmy Graham's " Bill of Health ;" Homage due at Windsor Castle Filched away by Wiseman's vassal In his compact.with Newcastle ; Here are scorning (partiality) Tracts to vindicate " Morality," Tenders to induce venality, Austere rubrics and rascality, All in intimate sodality. All.—That's a fine lot, including sonic " intentions" To pave our premises. What more subventions ? Impositions ; Whig traditions, Party ethics (cheap editions) ; " Antiquated Imbecility " Tutoring Whig Juvenility, And their most inveterate haters Eager to serve " foreign traitors." Here are John's reforming fancies (Constitutional romances) ; Charles Wood's budgets as intended, Then as re-re-re•amended ; Durham letters, Papal fetters, John's obeisance to his betters ; All the fruits which make, in short, Fit dessert for Bedford's Port. Here's a lot I highly prize, Words "Enormous sacrifice!!!" This should make your brewage rise. [euuldron plighay anomaly. Here's a jest, an ancient " Joe," The Plagiarist of course you know. All.—Oh, Bernal Osborne! Bernal Osborne, oh! [Cauldron again subonlec Ah, I see, I must deliver The best arrows of my quiver, Weapons to which other spoils Are but play-shafts—blunted foils. Wrapp'd in rags of " sacrifice " (Hypocrisies in lofty guise) Here is fuel for your flame, Private truckling—public shame. Want of concert—fumbling fear, Loss and failure far and near. Parties which suspend their action Yield priority to faction: Faction, as her fury urges, Points her goad and knots her scot rges— Liberal jargon, cloaking hate, Liberal "Progress" tempting fate, By its efforts out of date; Envy carping at degree, Licence aping Liberty, Crouching violence parading, Its pretence that war shall cease, Meted passions masquerading, In the milk-white garb of peace. These I bring you, and with these Perils and indignities ; Faction holds the door ajar To the Bed-man, Pope, and Czar. Felon cravings, priestly claims, Limitless Imperial aims, Harnessed for their onward course By Necessity and Force. These I offer—these will tell, As ingredients of your spell. Triple curse, and covert hope. Of the Refiquan. Czar, and Pope. End your toil and crown your trouble'. Make your fated cauldron bubble ! As Asmodeus throws these items into the flame it hums np suddenly and fiercely. A luminous steam demises itself over the apartment, which attracts a flight of crinnon•winged bats, with other ornithological specimens not classified by Audubon. The Familiars become excited, and, as the caul. Ikon boils, perform an eccentric polka to this reinsio4l: England speed thee to perdit• Hy this spell of COALITION. [ kt this moment Munthingus is introduced by his Oily. Ile does not for some instants appear at his ease, but as soon at he comprehends the butane's he nave* his gossamer and fraternises. ] lfundungms.-1 see where we are ! Humll! Vire la Ilepub— spirit—Hush, my good friend. Even Bright does nut venture upon that.as yet,—at least before society. SCENE V.-LOWER DEPTHS. ll•ims.-IThom have you brought u 5? You aro always bringing people here. Spirit—This time, ungrateful wretches, I have brought you the People. I found him wandering in the middle of the world above, and catching hint 'twist night and day, when we had power, I brought him down, to spend his New Year's-eve with us. Now be hospitable, and amuse him. roiees.—Let him MUSS us. Spirit.—He will, if you give him time. But it im our turn first. Come, what New Years gamo have you for him ? A lipiee.—Snapdragons ! Up, blue fire ! Fire begins to ri.o. Mundungss.—Thank you. I bare burned my fingers enough lately. A Voice.—Call up the young witches fora danec—thoy need not, make nn elaborate toilette. Mundungns.—Exenne me—l Imre n wife. I admit the foolish pre judice, but hope to overcome it in time. But I will not trouble the young Mies. A Voire.-0 ire him drink—red hot. Mundumps.—Accustomed to English port, I fear no fire you could proffer. But I have joined the Tempemnee Society, taken an oath not to make a beast of myself (for a sense of duty w•as of no use), and I am one of the Band of Hope. A ruice.—Shoe• him the Magic Lantern. Mundungem.—All! anything that combines a union of science is welcome to fife. Witch wait heard...4kt rianaber darkest, sad a lighted circle appears al note elidi A Voice.—The Past or the Future ? Munflunyu*.—Confound old almanac Music. The ,folloteing Scenes appear as Visions Qf l'ossible Futtire. Igo. I. future, of course. The House of Commons is seen alter its purification by the Re form 11111 of Lord John Russell. Narrow planks, to hold grog and tobacco-boxes, are fitted along the tops of the benches; a Jewess Balm refreshment at the table of the House, and between the speeches walks in and out among the members, offering oranges. Owing to the pre valence of the Manchester clilne, a resolution has been agreed to that any speaker habitually sounding his H shall be considered an aris tocrat, and expelled. A pugilistic combat is going on upon a point of order, namely, whether, as members who are married bring their wives to sit by them in the House, bachelor members may do like wise. Great confusion, but the act works well, in a comprehensive sense. No. 11. A Maine liquor law having been passed, Mr. Oliveira procures its repeal so far as regards very small claret. Pitiable condition of the metropolitan viscera, everybody who has tried Mr. Oliveira's re medy for drunkenness walking about, and spasmodically making stern resolves. A Pro visional Committee of Cabmen is discussing an ap propriate mode of acknowledgment. No. 111. Philanthropy having discovered that punishment is eiuel and wicked, the gaols are set open, and the criminals placed nt liberty. They sing a chorus to the tune of one of the hymns which they have learned, and declare that such kindness shall not be thrown away. Dividing into two bodies, they make their acknowledgments to Lombard-street and 13elgrave-square. A brilliant picture, closing amid the Are of the military, who are called upon to rectify Philanthropy. No. W. Mr. 13rotherton'm motion to put the House of Commons on vege table diet. Scarcity of eabbagoti in Covent garden. No. V. Mr. Thomas Carlyle, the Rev. Mr. Kingsley, the courageous Vditor of Fraser, and other new lights, are seen going Out as Pilgrim Fathers to found a colony of earnest and regenerate tailors. Mit Mr. Carlyle becoming offended with the low radicalism of his followers. and Mr. Kingsley with their profanity, the two set to work and thrash the regenerate tailors so unmercifully that the new Sartorian era has to be put off till further notice. ~w ~~ i