The Press. — London, England, 1854-02-04 00:00:00

THE PRESS. t I LOur correspondent "Jong or THE FUNNIC LBence Mat , exccompuse us s if the pres sure of our parliamentary intellig, drc el us to defer the insertion of his this week's letter.] AFFECTING INTERVIEW BETWEEN THE EARL OF ABERDEEN AND BARON BRIJ NOW. Scsfos.—The Embassy, Chesham-place. The Russian Ambassador's boxes are ready packed, and be is smoking a cigar and waiting until it is time to drive down to the train. A knoc ie heard. Enter hastily, the Premier of England. The PREMIER : Alt! Fortunately, or shall I say providentially, I am in time. The BARON : For once, awn chir, yes. Shall I put out my cigar ? I know you don't like tobacco. The PREMIER: By no means. I don't like it in the Foreign office, but here it seems natural and proper. Besides, it is not in the hour of parting that one could ask a friend to deny himself a comfort. The BARON :As your Byron says—you have heard of Byron, eh, my travelled Thane ? " They tell me 'tie decided. We must part. Well, be it so, and I must not repine— I have no further claim on your young heart." Ha ! ha! ha! The PREMIER (faintly): Ha ! ! lam glad that you keep your spirits up, my dear Brunow. For myself, I confess that this is a painful moment for me. I not only lose the pleasure of your society, and the advantage of the kind hints you give me as to the feelings of our Imperial friend, but I see in this movement the completion of the overthrow of all my hopes and plans. The BARON: Receive, my dear Aberdeen, the assurance of my pro. found respect, ha! ha! But, setting aside my natural sorrow and agony at losing the pleasure of your society, I see anything but the overthrow of my hopes and plans, and so you must excuse my shameful levity upon this trying occasion. However, a friend should be ready to make sacrifices of his feelings, and so we will look as melancholy as you please. The PREMIER : I shall trust to your setting my conduct in a true light where you are going, Baron. The BARON : It seems to me, my good friend, that your conduct is in a fair way of being set in a true light wherever anybody is going. But you know you may rely on me. But—halt ! Ha! Well thought about. What was that you said in the House of Lords on Tuesday about your having written.—l forget—your having written against Russia in the—the most --lachrymose style ? The PREMIER : Not lachrymose—acrimonious, I said. The BARON : What is the word? I don't know it. The PREMIER (aside) : lam glad of it. Why, it means searching, accurate, strictly, inquiring—and all that a little—a very little sharpened, you see. The BARON : In short, spiteful ? The PREMIER : Well, common minds put that interpretation upon it ; but there is a non-natural sense in which you may also regard it —anyhow, you comprehend, it can mean nothing hostile in the pre sent case. The BARON : My good friend, my master justly says that we think of what a man writes, and not of what he means. So, you, in your place in the Lords, plead guilty to having written spitefully against Russia. Well, I shall do my best for you, but it is not an easy task. The PREMIER: Yes, if you consider one thing. The BARON : That you are heartily ashamed of what you have done. Of course I shall say that ; but then you have had to be ashamed so often. The PREMIER But Ido not mean that. Consider how much more unkind to Russia it would have been if I had endeavoured to write in her favour. The BARON : Ha! ha!! You are quite spiritual, my dear Aberdeen, and what you say is true enough. I think I can promise you pardon on that score. The PREMIER : You make me happy ; as happy as I can be under the circumstances. But (agitated) to think that it should come to this—that I, and my Ministry, should have to turn you out of house and home—it is too much. ( Overcome. ) dear man ; all is for the best. You conti tore enlightened and to be as SATURDAY, The PREMIER: But why could we not have kept the peace ? The BARON : All your own fault that we did not. The PREMIER (greatly perturbed): Oh, don't say that—please don't I who have made every sacrifice to prevent war, even to the getting the honour of the country into a mess, out of which nothing will extricate it, except The BARON: Out with it—we are friends. Except — The PREMIER : Except a battle, in which—don't let us talk of such things. The BARON : Why not ? In which the English ships shall send a dozen of ours to Locker David—what is it your tars say? With all my heart. We can afford to mourn for a fleet, but not for honour. But why did you play fast and loose with us? Why did you make me think that we might do as we pleased, and then leave us to discover that it would not do ? The PREMIER : If it had depended on me ! But, if you will have the truth, I did not understand the feelings of the country on the subject. That's the fact. The BARON : With that, my friend, comes another fact, as it seems to me, namely, that the country might with advantage change her Premier for one who does understand her feelings. The PREMIER : I have heard the remark before. But now let us lay aside our grievances, and not part in any state of ill-will. The BARON : My dear old man, there is nothing of the kind. If you like I shall write you a certificate, or testimonial, saying that you have served us well, and to the best of your limited abilities, and that we are quite satisfied with you. The PREMIER :Ah ! Don't make jokes—it augurs a melancholy state of mind. The BARON : Yours do, my friend, I admit. That joke about the Game of Brag was what may be called stunning—was it received with shouts of laughter ? The papers do not say so, but you have taught us not to rely on the papers. (Looks at watch.) Eh ! (calls) Is the carriage at the door? A SERVANT : Ready, your excellency. The BARON : Well, my dear friend, it is a case of adieu and good bye. I shall, I assure you, look in the journals with sincere interest, to watch your progress, and particularly to see by what sort of blun ders in oratory you will try to efface the memory of your blunders in diplomacy. lam anxious to get home, for I have some capital stories to tell the Emperor. lam charged, of course, with your best homage. ,So„Apw . farewell, my old Aciimonious—ha I ha! (Exit.) The, PREMIER (melancholy): Such is life ! How vain are our hopes Happiness is fleeting ! Judge nothing until the cud ! Everything earthly is mutable ! All is not gold that glitters ! A bright morning often ends in a rainy evening! Nothing in this world is certain! (The noble earl utters several hundred other commonplaces until he is disturbed by the charwoman, who wishes he would go, as she wants to begin cleaning down the house. The two old ladies look angrily at each other, and then thi Premier out.) A NEW READING. When homy GORDON stoops to folly, And finds too late that Czars betray, What charm can soothe his melancholy Or chase the fumes of pique away ? The only course his shame to cover, To terminate his testy whine, — The course by which he least would suffer, — The best of three is,—to resign. £lOO,OOO REWARD!! - WANTED A few clever Men to agitate for the NEW REFORM BILL. When the Campaign is closed said the Victory gained the most successful Agitator will receive a gift of £80 ; 000 ! The next successful Agitator will receive £lO,OOO 1 Or a New Library worth at the least V. 0,000 And the Chairman who is already appointed will receive the Residue ! ! which will be at the least XlO 000 For further particulars apply at the " LEAGUE Rooms," or to " ONE WHO HAS WHISTLED ♦T THE PLOUGH• The BARON : Calm yourself, my dear man ; all is for the best. The PitEcilOrYieop Wa i t ' s.:, your blinded fatalism. You conti- nentals have •,.. . 1 :„- I ' I NA sit. is the comfort of a more enlightened believer lik•A * #7,.." .. 4 - 1* ' 1 is not for the best, and to be as 4414•44-:•;. 'l_ . ~.,.. miserable -- .. , _. • 4 ' ;-• • The B 4 1' - * Z-* . : •'•/ tb•: , • 0 r all earthly comfort, then, my dis- tressed ma 't , . , ::: . 4t * lam not going away one moment Il i tat ' ( ; xt4.s. ~... sooner th an 1- • • •,.. . ! - -,, m4ster and myself. We have done our work, and gahleal,timlilm,-, : m probably, by this, Kalafat has fallen, Does not this console you, my Aberdeen ? tltllttPdP - =IIWEiN 7, 77:- l~ 1 ....,.s . --