The Press. — London, England, 1853-08-06 00:00:00

1 1.. AUGUST 6, 1853. THE MINISTERIAL GROTTO. BY THE EARL OF A-. " On the 4th inst. the oyster season opened at Billingsgate with its usual fonuali ties."—Morning Paper. Little architects in sheliwork (" Only once a year "—their motto,) Pressing me to see their spell work— !, too, have prepared my Grotto. I may thank the little urchins For their opportune suggestions— Seeing how they open oysters, I have learnt to open questions. Principles I treat as shells — Fitted to impede you solely; Place is like the juicy fish— You disengage to swallow wholly. Of these principles or shells I have now a nice collection— Out of which my Grotto swells To a notable erection. Principles of all the Clans— Whigs and Radicals, Red-tapists, French and Russian partisans, And Puritans and Papists. These I've gather'd far and near, In market-place and cloister, Till with the Poet I can say, That "all the world's mine oyster." These upon each other placed To the height they've got to, And by my own small rushlight graced, And there you've Geordie's Grotto. SANITARY REFORM. Lord PALMERSTON the other day reminded the Town of the saying of CANOVA, that London would he a handsome city if it were white washed. We presume it is an evidence of his zeal in this respect that he has made Sergeant MURPHY a Commissioner of Insolvency. CRAVEN BERKELEY AND CONSISTENCY. " Surely, if bells and music were permitted, what could be the harm of persons going about with flags bearing the inscription, for instance, ' Jemmy Graham, and consistency ' ? (Great laughter.)"--CakvEN BERKELEY, Morning Herald, August 4, 1833. LET imputations go where they are due ; but let them also come from legitimate sources. The following is our estimate of Mr. BERKELEY'S achievement : [From our Cheltenham Correspondent.] The bill of our respected Member for the suppression of bell ringing, cockades, and key bugles, met its fate on Wednesday last. The news reached Cheltenham on Thursday morning ; but the inha bitants of our lively town did not display the expected signs of mourning. The waiters at the Plough preserved their equanimity ; there was the customary demand for the chalybeate ; and there were no barricades in the High-street. Towards noon there was a group formed at the corner of Clarence-street, but the authorities did not feel themselves called upon to interfere. The group consisted of members of the various interests who were released from the operation of Mr. BERKELEY'S measure. " I should like to know," said the Milliner, " whether he expects us to trim our bonnets with oak sprigs, after the fashion of West Gloucester?" " Yes," said the Beadle ; " and are we to march through the town like the Foresters, with antlers 'presented by Earl FITZHAR- DINOE ?* '' "I should like," said the town Trombone, "to see him canvass me and the Two Flageolets at the next election." "Or solicit the support of the ecclesiastical interest," said Triple Bob. "What most surprises me," said the Trombone, " is the assistance he received from his brother HENRY. The Member for Bristol used to be partial to music." " But not to your brass instruments," said the Flageolet. "At all events, he was not scandalised at election banners, for he was the means of procuring a banner for his young electioneering friends at Bristol." " He is too great a purist to remember that now," said another. "Yet he cheers his brother's appeal to consistency." " I wish I was between them with my trombone." " Or I behind them with my pincushion." " Or I had them for an hour or two's repose in my belfry." Such was the mode of mourning for Mr. BERKELEY'S bill at Cheltenham. THE PRESS. 325 THE CHICORY DEBATE. MIXED, AND DULY LABELLED. Lord TORRINGTON complained of the Treasury minute which per mits chicory to be mixed and sold with coffee. He apologised for finding fault with the Liberal party, who had behaved so uncommonly handsomely to him in that little Ceylon affair, when the priest was hanged in his canonicals, and so on. (" Hear,hearr from Lord Gam) Yes, and he was very much rejoiced that his other advocate, Sergeant Murphy, had got a good thing. But about this chicory. The grocers forced it on the poor in a way which really amounted to tyranny, and he could tell them what tyranny was—(hlear, hear) ;—aud that it must be very disagreeable for the people who were undermost. Lord ABERDEEN said it was a mistake to suppose that chicory was noxious. Why, chicory was the dandelion, and he had, in the course of his life, often seen the merest children playing with dandelions. Therefore, it could not be noxious. Then, a still stronger argument was, that the French liked it, and everybody was aware that the French knew what was good to cat and drink. But he detected the real aim of the complaint. Coffee was a favourite Turkish drink, and Noble Lords no doubt hoped, by a side wind, to get something out of him which might bear upon the Turkish question. They would be disap pointed, as they usually were when they sought information from him. Lord MALmessuav assured the Premier that he appreciated his motives. A Cabinet of fusion was bound to respect other heterogeneous mixtures. But he thought the labels should be accurate. The Ministry were very careless in this respect. They wrote "succession" on what was really confiscation ; and they defended the sale of dirt, sand, and ashes for salt. He was perfectly aware that the Cabinet boasted of being a tradesman's Cabinet, but respectable tradesmen did not practise imposition. There were so many grounds besides coffee grounds on which the policy of the Cabinet was assailable, that he was surprised Lord Aberdeen should think they wished to get him into► hot water over the chicory, or even into the Sweet Waters, in which certainly surgit amari Illiquid for the Noble Earl. The Duke of ARGYLL said that it was of no use to sell chicory separately from coffee, because chicory would not mix, except in the grinding. There, now he had spoken, and ho trusted, there. fore, that the question was set at rest for over. Nobody could think of disputing what he had said ; but he might add that he knew all about grinding, having ground logic—as he lost no opportunity of reminding Noble Lords—with much success. He would put the syllo• gism thus. Good coffee was a desirable thing. Lord Aberdeen's was a desirable Government. Ergo, the Treasury minute was right. He hoped he should hear no more nonsense. Lord MONTEAOLE said that he hated all jobs, and he fancied that he detected a job in the complaint against chicory. The lower orders were better off than they had ever been. He could easily prove all this. Noble Lords might have read in the papers that he had, the other day, found himself without any money at a railway station in the country. He had thought he was going to be " treated " with a ride to London ; but, somehow, he made a mistake. The railway clerk would not trust him, although knowing that he had been Chancellor of the Exchequer. He appealed to the public around, but the public around would not trust him, perhaps because he had been Chancellor of the Exchequer. Finally, a working man lent him the necessary ninepence, or whatever it was. Now, when a working man could lend a nobleman ninepence, free trade policy must have worked well. Therefore, the complaint ou behalf of the poor was all nonsense. Lord REDESDALIC spoke chiefly as a business lord, and, only as matter of business, would remark that this was another of the nu merous cases in which the present law and the present Ministry con tradicted one another. Lord BROUGHAM said that he got very good coffee at Cannes, and as he was half's. Frenchman, and would have been a whole one but for a very crass and foolish man, of no merit, called Cremieux, he could say that everybody in France did not drink chicory. He would avail himself of this opportunity to explain the alterations which he pro posed to introduce into the Bankruptcy Laws of the Extra-parochial Districts in the Isle of Man. (Here the majority of the peers left the House.) At the end of an hour-and-half's address by the Noble Lord upon the last-mentioned subject, Lord TORRINGTON reverted to the previous question. He felt strongly upon it, and, though he was not habitually an advocate of violence, he could wish to see every grocer who adulterated coffee placed on the Mill. Lord BROUGHAM said that no one but a spoon would stir the coffee question again ; that the topic had better be buried in oblivion ; that he had meant his speech as the chasm to his Noble Friend's coffee ; that café noir was clearly his noble friend's bite noire (whereof there was good hunting near Cannes) ; and the Noble and Learned Lord con tinued to emit jokes of general or local application, with the highest good-humour, until the lights were turned oft: THE COALITION BEVERAGE ; OR, COFFEE cm CHICORY. GMEME, ABERDEEN, and Co. invite A trial of GLADSTONES mixture, Whereon, to prove which is the right, Their label is a fixture. But we" to try" are disinclined, Until informed at leisure Which of its items is combined Iu "large" or larva measure."