The Press. — London, England, 1857-01-03 00:00:00

JANUARY 3, 1857. position, he ignores the lorcha question altogether, and insists upon the right lon-,y, promised us of personal admission for foreign officials to the Viceroy of the province. In the present state of our relations with China it would appear highly desirable that such a concession be definitely scented, and with this we should be content. A resident Ambassador at Pekin holding direct intercourse with the Imperial Court would, of course, be very advantageous to our interests ; but how are we to get his Excellency there ? Two Ministers of State have this week been speaking out rather more boldly than their wont. Lord PALMERSTON indeed has to lament the indiscretion of the admiring LANKESTER, who could not restrain his satisfaction on hearing his fellow-townsman called an ignorant man, and not fit to be a Member of Parliament. It is indeed news to the world at large, that this fault should be any disqualification for a seat in the House of Commons, and still more remarkable that the Premier should have been the first man to proclaim the great truth. This however, is genuine Liberalism, though it is not often that the secret is let out so completely as on this occasion. Dislike and jealousy of the real Radical reformer, the man of deeds, and not words, speaks out plainly in the lapsus linyure of the Premier. What on earth could the veteran have been about? Is the garrulity of age stealing upon him, or is he so fast returning to Toryism us to have forgotten the cha racter of the party with whom he has so long acted. Breaches of confidence must be expected where the Prime Minister of England talks tea-table gossip with the tradesmen of a country town. We aro sorry for Mr. AIDREWII. It is impossible to say what breach of good manners his irritation may lead him to commit in return for PALMERS TON'S " him perance." We should advise the latter not to trust himself abroad without the protection of a footman and a stout oak stick, for a considerable time to come. The other member of the Administration who has hew holding forth with a most uncalled for degree of energy. is Admiral BERKELEY. We are gratified to hear that there is no intention of retaining the income tax. But though Admiral BERKELEY will not believe it till he sees it, we own we have little faith in the sagacity of any one who believes PALMERSTON would not keep it on if ho could. How the latter must laugh in his sleeve if he has any mirth left in him after the Lankester affair, at the undeniable simplicity of the gallant admiral who has faith in everything and everybody. The utter failure of the secret-system investigation to unravel the mystery of the murder of Mr. LITTLE is exactly the result THE PRESS predicted from the first. In all criminal investigations the greater the publicity given to every fact obtained in evidence, the greater the chance of a successful result, and the detection of the criminal. The reason is clear. Instead of half-a-dozen stale official minds turning over the facts, you ' have a thousand inquisitive brains actively at work thinking and reflecting, dwelling upon this point and upon that, recalling events, comparing circumstances, and devoting all their ingenuity and tact to discover some clue towards a definite result. Moreover, how often in the annals of crime has the simple detail of events, trifling and unimportant in themselves, inevitably led to the discovery and conviction of the criminal? But the assistance of such means is only to be obtained through publicity ; and publicity we must have in this case, as in every other, if we wish to attain a similar satisfactory result. If the Dublin authorities per mit, as they seem to desire, this barbarous murder to tacitly fade into that vast shadow of undetected crime hovering over Ireland, they will deserve to be branded as the most incompetent cowards ever placed in positions of responsibility. A continuance in their secret system is also a protraction of the most cruel injustice. It submits the entire railway staff to horrible suspicion. Every man there is the murderer. If all the facts and inferences collected were made public, this would cease; at least, the unsuspected would be freed, while the suspected might possibly be convicted of guilt. THE PRESS. THE PREMIER'S JOKE. A DRAMA IN FIVE ACTS, AS PERFORMED AT SOUTHAMPTON. ACT I. An Aportment al Broadlands. Lord PALNIERSTON.—WeII, Mr. Lankester, you quite understand ? Two liat•irous for the laundry, a scraper in the lawn, and a packet of tenpenny nails for me. Mr. LANRESTER.—Quite correct, my Lord. They shall be sent over the first thing in the morning, my Lord. Anything wanted in the brass way, my Lord ? Lord PALMERSTON.-1. think not; I think not. Osborne was down hero yesterday. And how goes on the election, Mr. Lankester ? Southampton still excited, eh ? Mr. LANICESTER.—Very much, my Lord. But I trust that all will go right. Lord PALMERSTON.—Let's see. What does going right mean ? Oh ! ah ! Mr. Weguelin's your boy. Awkward name for you Hampshire people to pronounce. What do you call him—Wigglin ? (Sings) " A lobstecre in a lobsteere pot, A blue fish Wigglin on a hook, May suffer some," &c., But he's not a blue fish, but a very excellent and admirable candidate, and just the man for you. Mr. LANKESTER.—I hope it may prove so, my Lord. But Mr. Andrews is very strong, especially with the lower classes. Lord PALMERSTON.—Say, the humbler orders, Lankester. It means just the same thing, but sounds better. Andrews, Andrews !—oh ! yes, I know all about him—a coachmaker. A worthy man, no doubt, in his way. 13 Mr. LANKEEITER.—He is very much in our way, just now, my Lord. Lord PALMERSTON.—Ha! ha! Very good. But surely you do not expect any dangerous opposition in that quarter. Coachy-poachr won't drive over you, surely. Put your shoulders to the other man a wheel. Mr. LANKESTER.—Andrews is very popular, my Lord. He offers himself in an independent manner, and goes the whole —I beg your Lordship's pardon—he professes extreme politics. Lord PALMERSTON.—I am very tolerant, my dear Mr. Lankester. Extreme politicians do not the least harm in the House; the worst that can be said against them is, that they give a little more trouble when they're wanted, than the rank and file. Seat Coachy-poachy, if you like. I dare say his springs will bear oiling, like °trier people's. Mr. LANEESTER.—But consider the difference iu the two men, my Lord. The Governor of the Bank of England! Lord PALMERSTON.—I've a notion that Sir George Lewis will think it a bore to have the Bank of England's knees in his back all through the session. Mr. LANIESTER (alarmed).—l hope I don't understand your Lord ship to mean that you would favour the Opposition candidate? Lord PALMERSTON.—NO, no. I was only joking. Wigglin 's your man, of course. One prefers an educated man and a gentleman, under all circumstances. That was a stupid business about the stamp distributor, wasn't it? You will do well to make a clatter about that, and intercede, don't you understand, to get him back his place. Some mismanagement there, but you may turn it to good account—some of you run up to London and see the Somerset•house folks. Of course you will not publish your generous action. Mr. LANICESTER.—UnIess it were for the sake of giving example for such actions, my Lord. Lord PALMERSTON.—True ; that's the very way of looking at it. Well, adieu, Mr. Lankester, and take care of Mr. Wigglin, and the flat-irons, and the scraper, and the nails. ACT 11. (Exit—whistling. A Crowded CommiHee•Room. The Ironmonger is on a Table Addressing an Excited Avdienee. • "And when I tell you, gentlemen, that the Prime Minister of Eng land—(cheers)—yes, gentlemen, the Most Noble Viscount Pal merston—(cheers)—that eminent nobleman to whose charge are intrusted the destinies of this nation, and who is deeply in the con fidence of our beloved Sovereign, I may say our beloved neighbour— (cheers)—when I say, gentlemen, that that exalted nobleman has given his unhesitating opinion that Mr. Weguelin ought to he re turned for Southampton, will you slacken in your exertions ? (Never.) Lord Palmerston, gentlemen, stated to me, in his own beautiful residence, known to you all by name, and to many more intimately— I allude to Broadlands—that although Mr. Andrews, whom his Lord ship, with his usual happy facetiousness, called Coachy-poachy— (roars of laughter)—might be a respectable man, our candidate, Mr. Weguelin, being a gentleman, a man of rank and position, a man of education and intellect, was the member whom Southampton ought to return. (Loud cheers) And, gentlemen, we will obey the coun sels of our Prime Minister. Now for business. Bring the canvass books:, (Business, and Scene Closes. ACT. 111. A Popular Meeting at Southampton. The report of the Ironmonger's speech has just been read, amid execration. VOICES FROM THE CROWD —Andrews for ever! D--- Dictators. Tell us who to choose ! lie don't like friends of the people ; wants a gentleman sent in. Andrews for ever! Who's Palmerston? What's Palmerston? Where's Palmerston? Down with Palmerston! An drews for ever! Andrews in a coach, and Wigglin in a van. No lords. No Ministers. (Sudden chorus.) "Andrews shall ride in " his coach and six, And Wigglin shall ride on a bundle of sticks, The " bundle shall break and down he come souse, But Andrews the man " for the Parliament House." No Palmerston ! No Bank flimsies ! No bribery ! (Roars.) Andrews for ever ! Freedom of election, and no Downing-street tyrants! Who turned out Falvey? (Groans.) Three cheers for Andrews ! (Cheers.) Three groans for Pam and Wigglin. (Scene closes in awful confusion. ACT. IV. Mr. Andrews's house. Mr. Andrews discovered. Mr. Andrews is reading a letter. " I cannot withhold the expression of my regret, that a few words that escaped me in private conversation—(then he did say it)—should have been made the basis of an address which, if correctly reported, most completely misrepresents my meaning. (Now, old one, what dolt thou mean, then ?) When I said to Mr. Lankester, that Mr. Weguelin's return might be advantageous, I also said, or intended to say, that the advantage would accrue to Southampton, which could not well afford to lose the presence of its Whittington, three times Mayor—(a great liberty to call me Whittington. Suppose I was to call hint my cat ?)—and I hope that this will ho conveyed to Mr. Andrews, for whom I entertain the profoundest respect. (I dare say ; and what about Coachypoachy ?) Should he be returned, his experience will assist us to drive the vehicle of the State—(d—d impertinence)—and should a linch-pin come out, I know that he will cheerfully help us to replace it. I believe you know Mr. Andrews, and perhaps you will say something of this kind to him. (He he hanged for an offensive aristocrat.)" (Exit. ACT THE LAST. The Ironmonger is discovered reading. "The irons won't heat ; the scraper's too small ; all the tenpenny nails have lost their heads, as you must have done yours, as well as my custom, when you went and repeated a PREMIER'S JOKE."—( Fulls down flat, and rolls off the stage.) CURTAIN FALLS•