The Press. — London, England, 1853-07-09 00:00:00

228 THE PRESS. LETTERS FROM A SILENT MEMBER. LETTER 111. TO THE EDITOR OF " THE PRESS." HOUSE OF COMMONS. THERE are different phases of conversation in the House of Commons during its average of eight hours sitting every night. The first may be counted from four till half-past—an important period, though a short one : it consists of the gossip of the day, rumours of another split in the Cabinet, boasts on the part of the Government supporters that Lord ABERDEEN only lost his temper twice in the House of Lords the night previous, and the whole of what is called the private busi• new A hundred Members find themselves, without the smallest dis tinction of party, in a particular lobby, and are heard explaining to each other the particular bill on which they are voting, or the reasons that induce them so to vote. Alt ! too confiding public, if you did but know those reasons ! Perhaps the most excusable, as well as the most frequent, is the popularity of the Member advocating or opposing the bill. I remember during a great parliamentary struggle hearing that an opponent of some private bill dextrously placed the name of a most obnoxious speaker upon it, incited him to address the House in its favour, and thus secured its annihilation. To this day Mr. —is uuconsious of the reason, for no one believes himself unpopular. Nothing is more remarkable than the total absence of party feeling on these occasions—we do without it for private business—respect for our Com mittees supplies its place : but either in public or private business the merit of the bill is only one ingredient in its consideration. After the private business comes the Ministerial Catechism—the "Assembly's Longer Catechism" now, and getting longer every session. It was during one of these catechisms, the other day, that, in answer to a question about the coinage, Mr. JAMES WILSON advertised for copper. if I were not a silent Member I should ask him whether he had paid the advertisement duty. The art of question answering is totally distinct from that of making speeches. I have never observed any one improve in it—the answerer is as the poet, " nascitur" : no one will fora moment hesitate in awarding the palm to Lord PALMERSTON—there is a silence in the House the moment he rises, being impudent, resourceful, lively, bitter, and terse. I have seen him put down the most inveterate questioner who, with every advan tage of preparation, ventured to measure swords with him. Then to bear him defend his subordinates—none of them have ever been yet victed of fallibilil he that Dor con', ty—in one sentence can prove . PACIFICO could not have bought a cheaper bedstead. Mr. GLADSTON is the worst answerer (always excepting the advertising WiLsos) : his answers are like his published works, where you will look in vain for a short sentence. Lord JOHN is unequal; CARDWELL ponderous; BETHELL wonderful. That a man should go out of his way to speak like Mr. VINING, when he acts Lord Trinket or any other fop at the Princess's, Basses all comprehension. Virus° learnt the style, and so must ETHELL. 1)o they know each other ? If not, they should ; or at all events BETHELL should see Visiso in some other part, and then give us some variety : his perpetual Lord Trinket is becoming quite insufferable. The questions being all answered, away scampers half the House to the Park, the other half dis cussing whether such and such a motion will come on, or whether the debate will end to-night. At about seven the " equites" return, and the process of pairing begins—an indispensable part of our representative system. " IVill you pair with me till ton?" " Say half-past." " No, I dare not ; my constituents will expect to see my name in the division." " Oh, but RICH is going to speak to-night." " Is he? Then I'm your man till eleven." (Poor Ram 0 But the art of pairing deserves an essay in itself. I am surprised none have been written on this integral part of our representative system. Equitilms (Thais, the conversation becomes for the most part critical. I have heard it even diverge into the subject before the House. Merciful Morpheus, aid the foot of time till at about half past ten the more meritorious of our white neckcloths begin to appear. It. is somewhat indecorous for officials to appear in these significant vestments unless accompanied by what are technically called tights. If, dear madam, you do not know what they are, I dare not tell you; but those who wear them have been to the Palace, where looser sub stitutes are not permitted. It is on record that an official in a former Government, much given to dining out, was wont to conceal the same by redressing as he returned in his brougham, and that at the critical moment of substituting a pair of grey for a pair of black inexpressibles the aforesaid brougham was overturned, and the policeman—we have his number—to this day is wholly unable to. explain the appearance that presented itself. The joke was in type fit Temck: but Whigs manage so admirably that the paragraph never ap peared—its point, however, was about Dives and his purple and fine linen. From half-past ten to eleven the white neckcloths increase exceedingly, and, to do them justice, they are a fraternity in themselves. They con template the Succession Tax with less horror than we do ; they are more sanguine about India, howbeit they enter not into details; and, if they do not consider that war can be averted, at all events they view its issue with no alarm. Thus, cheerful and buoyant, they approach the division or the evening, and, us I have never yet read the description of a divi sion by one who took part in it, I may at some future time trespass upon your apace HOW. It is a noble thing, a division—like death, it, levels all distinctions; the most fluent rhetoricians, the most unwearied cheerers, become useless then— " went the praised ear, and mute the tuneful tongue." In the lobby eb in the grave, you only count for one, and that one is— A stun. Aram SATURDAY, A CONTEMPORARY CHAPTER FROM " THE VANITY OF HUMAN WISHES" SIR BENJIE. On what foundation stands the purist's pride. How blest his hopes let " Dockyard HALL" decide ! From Hensoll's " Halls," in twofold sense, he came, And simple BENJAMIN was once his name; That name served him as it had served his sire Till restless envy taught him to aspire— Taught him, for aids his upward course to steer. The patriot swagger and the platform sneer ; And so engaged him in each factious art, Till fortune flung to him the title " Bart." Curst by the gift—from that unhappy hour, Curst and deceived by fortune's luckless dower, Henceforth a coronet beyond his grasp Lures him to labour with plethoric gasp— To carry, puffing up preferment's slopes, His poor pretensions and inflated hopes ; Henceforth, as seen in each ambiguous act, Mayfair and Marylebone his thoughts distract ; To gain a Cabman's vote or Duchess' smile, He alternates with coarse or coaxing wile ; Scents or affects to scent the secret job, Feels or affects to feel the full-blown nob; And, for his public or his private game, Plays many parts, but yet those parts the same— A wheedling blusterer,—a touting brave, — A courtier demagogue,—a captious slave. But all in vain ! A nation's Fates deride The paltry efforts of provincial pride ; Amazed they see a Vestryman debate — A spoilt Churchwarden aping airs of state, And so consign thee to the Limbo dread Of those who rush where angels fear to tread. Fortunate HALL ! hadst thou thy function known, And when thy case was well left well alone ! Thine were the goats upon a thousand hills, Thine overflowing barns, cash,—credit,—bills, — Metals (exclusive of thy brass) ; and thine The darkest diamonds of Glamorgan's mine. These thou forsakedst in an evil day, To get both in thy own and England's way. Else would Glamorgan's pundits now revere Parochial talents in their proper sphere ; Or, gravely looking for the wisdom, see At least the spectacles of a J. P. Then might thy proper destiny prevail, And thy bold brows, when other glories fail, Adorn some signboard for indifferent ale. NEW APPOINTMENT. Lord Jolts RussaLL has beon appointed Invalid-General to the Aberdeen Administration. In undertaking the responsibilities of this arduous post it becomes his Lordship's duty to be absent from indisposition when inconvenient questions are anticipated, ordamagiug debates are threatened by the notice paper. It is said that Lord JOHN was convinced of the necessity of " putting on an sager " by the Member for Kidderminster, and that this is one of the "low dodges " for which the latter takes credit—having bequeathed it to his pupils at Oxford. CARLOW ELECTION. Mr. SADLEIR has been returned for the borough of Carlow; by 149 to 1.15. Lord ABERDEEN has beat me by FOUR, said Lord PALMERSTON. THE " Silent Secretary" of the Admiralty spoke, without leave, on Tuesday night. The countenance of Sir JAMES GRAHAM was very peculiar, as he listened to the break-down of his all-sufficient sub. Impudence has not always the advantage of moving an adjournment, and of preparing in the interval its ready Joe Millerisms. The brazen fluency of Mr. BERNAL OSBORNE quite deserted him ; he endeavoured to make up for his hesitation by extra impertinence, but the failure was recognised by both sides, and, though the occasion was one of great excitement, the most violent partisan could not applaud him.