The Press. — London, England, 1853-08-13 00:00:00

THE FISH DINNER. NOTHING is more remarkable in this age of progress than the rapidity with which improvements are made in the most recent inven tions. The miracles of ether were almost instantaneously cut out by chloroform ; and the last improvements in the electric telegraph, by which answers are received before messages aro sent, will always remain a proud evidence of the inventive genius of the 19th century. One of the most remarkable instances of this new power was afforded in the acceptance by the Emperor of RUSSIA of the propositions of Vienna before they had reached St. Petersburg. We are enabled this morning to furnish our readers with a similar example of expeditious information on a subject of domestic interest; viz., the Fish Dinner with which her Majesty's Ministers celebrate the close of the session, at the Trafalgar Hotel, Greenwich, this afternoon. As this festivity is a species of saturnalia, much depends upon the happy levity of the Chairman, who is, in fact, the soul of the enter tainmont. The choice unanimously fell on the Right Hon. EDWARD &am, who completely fulfilled all the expectations of his friends. He was a source of unceasing amusement. He was never heard to snore except between the courses ; and, generally speaking, his talking iw las sleep was highly diverting. In this reign of frolic the usual order of the toasts was reversed, and the Chairman began by giving " La Premiere and the Ladies." Lord ABERDEEN acknowledged the toast, and said that he had been called an old woman, but old women were made of very durable mate rials, as he trusted his Government was. Lord JOHN RUSSELL spoke to the toast of " The Channel Fleet," of which he said he was, as formerly, quite prepared to take the command. " Success to the Coalition" was responded to, in a speech of grave humour, by Sir JAMES GRAHAM, who, having professed in his time every shade of political opinion, deemed himself a judge of the sub ject. He said the Government had been formed on the " enormous sacrillee " principle, and that many of its members had sold them selves, as is usual under those circumstances, at half-price. (Loud cheering from Lord LANSDOWNE, Lord JOHN RUSSELL, Lord PALMERSTON, Lord GRANVILLE, Lord CANNING, Mr. HERBERT, and others.) Mr. GLADSTONE spoke very playfully on the state of the Exchequer Bills, and talked of probably ending his career by being called to the Upper House, and founding a new order of nobility, as Loan DISCOUNT GLADSTONE ; but Mr. BERNAL OSBORNE interrupting him with some improper jokes about conversions, the Right Hon. Gentleman looked as if he were afraid of losing his temper, and somewhat abruptly terminated. The toast of " The Whips" was very much applauded. Mr. HArrEn gave a sketch of some " loose conversations " ho had held during the session with some loose fish—who, however, were all caught—which was very funny. He boasted of having some bait which was more attractive even than whitebait. He spoke handsomely of his sub ordinates, which was earnestly and vociferously cheered by Mr. G. BERKELEY. Lord MULGRAVE, on the contrary, was suffused with blushes. Sir WILL MOLESWORTU was requested to speak to the toast of " Radical Reform." Unfortunately the Right Hon. Baronet took the matter gravely, and was dividing the suljcet into various sections, before his audience found out he W 4114 not, joking. There were then loud cries of "Divider and "Bar f' but the Right lion. Gentleman, being used to these accompaniments, went on quite undisturbed. The Duke of NEWCASTLE delivered an eulogium on the House of Lords, which he pronounced to be an assembly of gentlemen, where you were never counted out when you were speaking—as he invariably was when in the House of Commons. At the end of his speech he qualified his declaration that the Lords were gentlemen. and said that he confined the description to the Government side of the House. Captain BERNAL OSBORNE was called upon to return thanks for the House of Lords, and as the Gallant Officer had prepared himself for the occasion, by reading sevend of FOOTE's farces, and the whole of Joe Miller, a great efibrt was expected but whether it were the heat of the weather, the lateness of the hour, an indigestion of water souchy, or a surfeit of champagne, or, as was more generally believed, the jealousy of Mr. Lows, who continually interrupted him, the Gallant Captain broke down. and seemed much discomfited. Seeing this, and remembering Captain BERNAL'S faithful services, some few years ago, in getting up the Hungary debate at the end of the session, which gave Lord PALMERSTON an opportunity of calling Lord ABERDEEN. amid the plaudits of Lord Jens RUSSELL, " u piece ef anti quated imbecility," the Noble Viscount came to the rescue with a happy diversion, and, giving the toast, of their " Next merry meeting," intro duced into his speech several happy recitations from the " .dew Wliy Guide," which made everybody laugh amazingly. The SOLICITOR-GENERAL then gave " The Conserratire Club ;" and the party broke up. THE PRESS. SATURDAY,I SENATORS AT SEA TO LADIES ON LAND. WRITTEN ON BOARD H.M.S. " BULLDOG," TUB MORNING BEFORE TUE GREAT NAVAL BATTLE or SPITHEAD, Auovsr 11, 1863. To all you ladies now on shore, We men at sea indite, To own your absence is a bore, Our conduct impolite ; But you must scold Sir JAMES, the screw, Who would not find a ship for you. With a fal lal la, etc. 'Tis not our fault you stay behind, Nor grace the boat and train ; Big GRAHAM would not raise the wind— The Irish call him mane— And e'en JOE HVME complains that he Was not allowed his passage free. Some voices at the Council Board Desired your presence here— The Premier urged his long First Lord To bring each Dowager : " Were she the sourest ever seen— Ask her," said egoist ABERDEEN. The gentle GLADSTONE thrice appealed For you, to stern Sir J. For when our ill-built vessel reeled He hoped to hear you say : " Others, beside that artful fox, Can make sad blunders on the stocks." SO GRAN-VILLE urged (who always goes, Where he leaves word he'll go)— " For if they're with us, I suppose, For once, at least, they'll know We're on no naughty errands bent ;" Remarked the grave Lord President. The great Lord Steward admires a bark Whose canvas is not show•n— In fact (the picture-folks remark), He hates to show his own— But thought you " need not stray to view The working of an endless screw." Lord JOHN had doubts—" The rule was good To give one's wife her way, But how the Constitution stood Ho scarcely liked to say ; The Charter, nor the Bill of Rights, Stating whence wives shall see sea-fights." The Privy Seal gave prompt decree, "They'd better stay in urbe ; The ladies any night might see Himself assail Lord DERBY And so behold with satisfaction The little Arrogant in action." When CLARENDON this answer caught, His lip in anger curled, " For his part he had always thought Women should see the world." " Your World,' " was prompt ARGYLL'S reply, " Was scarce the thing for woman's eye." The whole affair will soon be done, To-morrow falls St. Grouse ; \Ve'll tear through all the bills like fun, And then prorogue the House. "rwas hard to leave you, but the shame's On oily, long, and shabby JAMES. With a fal lal la, de. QUERY ON CIiANGE.-Why did Ministers withhold their impression that the Russian business was settled? 6 \