The Press. — London, England, 1854-06-24 00:00:00

I 588 TO THE EDITOR OF " THE PRESS." You talk of five hundred to dear Mr. Greville, For airing the Times and for signing his name ; Let me say, in reply to your strictures uncivil, You cannot compute half the strength of his claim. What! Strain at five hundred for service so varied As all his friends tell you he renders each (lay ! The news improvised and the hints that are carried, Their value what mortal but placemen can say ? Like Iris—that back stairs attendant of Jove — All hues and all colours our messenger takes : One day he puts Austria all cavil above, The neat, for her faith, all our terror awakes. But mark as we wait for each coming event ! As placemen and circumstance take a new whim, Though Iris was still by the Thunderer sent, Now the soi-ditant " thundercr " looks out for him. And if all this service is cheerfully done, Sans scruple or nonsense, it seems very queer That you should deny Mr. Grevillo has won The right to his job of five hundred a year. NOTES THE P A REMONSTRANCE. - - - answer to your unjustifiable lines last week on the proposal for adding a paltry five hundred pounds to Mr. GRETILLE'S yearly pittance of two thousand, I beg you will insert the following remonstrance from ONE OF HIS FRIENDS. Archimedes, when naked and joyous he sped, Through Syracuse streets with the crown in his hand ; Or Newton, when apples came bump on his head, The value of Greville could scarce understand. You'll admit that the Sophi themselves would be driven To the end of their wits " compensation " to find, For toils whose amount in the " sum " is not given, Small, the curtain before ;—But herculean behind. CHANCELLOR IN REFUSING ANY PROVISION FOR NELSON'S " HORATIA." 1. Because a legacy, even when left to a nation, is obviously for 'the benefit of the legatee, and not of the chattel bequeated. 2. Because Horatio Nelson set a bad example by going into Copenhagen and Aboukir, instead of waiting a few years "challenging" the enemy to " come out." 8. Because Mr. Greville requires the exact sum that would redeem the nation's character in this matter. 4. Because. since the cosmogany or creation of the world a cer tain principle, at variance with an aesthetic sentiment, has mingled itself with an ethical conviction, and delivered metaphysical truth in a non-rational sense, in which idiosyncratic view of the subject, I cannot, to use the words of the Morning Chronicle, " excogitate the function " of—knowing precisely where or how the sentence is to end. (Hiatus valdi defiendus), THE CONGE D'ELIRE OF STRUTT. Elect! when no election's left ; Choose when choice is ta'en away ; Resign when of your place bereft, And others seito the place and pay. Sam Johnson—used to speaking plain— (Oh ! for one hour of Sam againj— Said of the oongi d'ilire, " That still to him it did appear As though from out an attic tall You flung the wretch and bade him fall On flags beneath, on feet or head, As softly as on feather bed." Just so of simple Strutt the case; Lord John, with unaffected face, So gently his discharge reveals, The fact he could not tell, That Granville held the Duchy seals ; Till, like a passing knell, The stern Gazette the sentence peals, In ancient proverb trite and just, " There's no compulsion, but you must." RESS. SATURDAY, A SKiTCH FOR THE " PORTRAIT GALLERY HANDBOOK" OF THE CRYSTAL PALACE, AYTER THE MANNER OF THAT PUBLICATION. PRESIDENT OF THE COUNCIL, (RUSSELL) LORD JOHN. - [Great of mind, though small of stature !—Repealer of the Test Act, and brother of the Duke of Bedford—wears liberal principles and a broad-brimmed hat—antipopish, antiprotestant, autichurch, and antidissenter—" has been," representative of Stroud in England, Bandon in Ireland, and Tavistock somewhere in the temperate zone; " has been " Prime Minister, and a member of the congregation of St. Paul's Knightsbridge, but never arrived at the dignity of Churchwarden—wrote a grand history, called " Dot Callen," and a work of fiction, entitled, the " Life of William Lord Russell," also a Letter to the Bishop of Durham, for an account of which, see Hansard passim. Is President o tho Council, for the mode of keeping order in which is said to have studied under Van Amburgh, usually speaks with his arms folded, and his temper excited—certified for as to political character, by Mr. Dillon Draper, of Fore-street, Mr. Babington Macaulay, and Lord Lansdowne, all of whom see.] THE FATE OF JOSEPH SMITH. A VERY DOLEFUL BALLAD. "MIDDLESEX SESSIONS, Monday.—Joseph Smith, aged F), well educated, was in. dieted fur stealing 41b. of coal, value twopence, the property of the !tight Hon. W. Ewalt tiladstoue, Chancellor of the Exchequer, front Downing-street, where he went twice a week to receive soup. Verdict, Guilty; six months' inquisontuent."—Duily pipers. " Oh ! the half hours of history!" The great NAPOLEON said ; But greater GLADSTONE well can weigh The halipeuces of trade. " Small coals" and " candleends" his mind Capacious can embrace, A very Buckett he to find Of petty thefts the trace. Unhappy SMITH, not to have seen What difference there may be A saucy Magdalen between And sinners such as he. I Though fed on soup of Downing street, Unskilled in high resolves, Poor tiNnTn, for Alice all nntneet, Upon " the mill" revolves. But, had he had a placeman's bite, Instead of oakum he Had picked the pockets of a State From blame or censure free. Yet may the casuist agree \Vith SMITH upon the whole, That if the soup he swallowed free He free might take the coal. As PRIM imposed the income tax For " one three years" alone, And wrote to Elbing that our backs Beneath it still should groan,— As GLAD£4TONE caught the notion bright, To save financiers trouble, That what at three per cent. was right Is better still at double,— SO SMITH, in his benighted state, Might dimly understand That free trade as to spoon and plate Meant free trade as to hand. A true philosopher, no doubt ! Though luckless in his trying That famous scheme to carry out In "cheapcat market" buying. A proof of that great maxim sec! While he his gain was telling, The magistrate convinced him he Was "in the dearest" selling. This moral to my doleful lay Gives STatrrr so lately stranded; In Downing street stay while you may, But leave it empty-handed. THE WEEK. WE are assured that a general survey of the intelligence of the week will prove acceptable to our readers, if only as an introduction to the contents of our paper ; and we propose in future, therefore, to note here the chief events which occur from date to date of our publication. The week has been remarkable for a great rise of public confi dence and a great fall of Ministerial reputation. Usually in time of war FOR A SPEECH OF THE OF THE EXCHEQUER, S. [l‘* .^ \hi