The Press. — London, England, 1858-05-22 00:00:00

Lord H--•--v. Liberal-Conservative. Sir 8.. HALL. " Reform." Lord STANLEY of A—, _ L or d p--. Of course of course—" season it according to the de mand," when it comes to bolting pledges on the hustings. But here among friends we all mean the same thing; to do what we can for ourselves, and what we must for the country. (A general murmur of assent.) As to the men, RUSSELL joins us, of course, and I've promised C—WELL. Sir G. G—. Can you trust him ? L or d p-- (continues). Then there's M— G—, and BRIGHT. No, not BRIGHT, but TRELAWNY. Lord C—DON. Will they trust us ? L or d p___—. Well, well, you may trust me for promising hand somely, and letting in no more of the enemy than I find inevitable. You know I like to keep things snug. We all understand each other— now for the House. I see H—R is on thorns, so I'll not detain you longer. But pray remember—(a sudden pause among the departing guests)—we must take the popular line, at least till we have bagged our majority. [Exeunt omnes. L or d (so/us). So much for Cabinet-making prospectively ! And a pretty job it will be, if I can manage it ! But who would have thought there were so many dupes in the world ! SCENE Il.—Lord J. R --r„ the D— of B—, Earl G--y. Lord J. It—. It is a very grave situation. I feel as if I should have done more wisely to stand alone. If we win, we win for PALMERS TON; if we lose, we shall have gone through a most humiliating canvass to DO purpose. Lord G—. Don't say we. I wouldn't go a yard out of my way to to bring P—N back. I ,like the present men quite as well, if not better. But if it is to be, something must be done for the Old Whig connection. D— of B—. Right, my dear Lord G—v ; the very thing. Of course. JOHN goes in as one of us ; and we must try to support him in making good terms. I declare, when I heard of those people meeting in No. 11, it quite took my breath away. Such names! people that no one knows, except when there's a Reform Bill to be carried. Ido trust JoRN will do his best to keep the Cabinet select, whatever may be done with inferior offices. Lord J. R—. I trust I shall not be wanting. I know what is due to the Constitution and to its tried defenders. But it's hard to deal with P-s. I could be content with a Consulate, but he wants a Dicta torship. Can I take office under him ? _ _ _ I) of B—. I think you may, provided he agrees to come up to ua within a year. You are sure to get the whip-hand of him if it comes to carrying a Reform Bill ; and who knows but in process of time you may find yourself master in the Cabinet ? Lord G—. Ah ! that is a specimen of " the acrimony which divides politicians of substantially the same opinions." This will end in the old story of your alternately abolishing one another. If caballing is to be your line, better stand alone, as you said. It would be more dignified, and not a bit more desperate. Don't you think it might be better to make a strong Cabinet at once, and try to pull together ? Lord J. R—. I dare say it might ; but P—Nr likes to have rather a feeble set about him. Will he give up his Chancellor ? Lord G—. Of course he will ; and a pretty job it will be to find another! But that is your business, not mine. Lord J. R—. We shall never get rid of P—n E--at least, with P--pr's consent. L —ERE, too, is rather a poor creature, but we can hardly throw him over. D-- of B—. My dear Joint, you take too serious a view of these things. We owe it to ourselves not to bid for mere administrative ability. We want men trained in the same traditions and imbued with the same spirit —a homogeneous Government, not one on a broad basis. Lord G-y. Ah ! I'm afraid I can't follow you there. Even says the country won't stand a Whig Administration on the old footing. Depend upon it the Radicals will want more than fair words or promises of Reform. We shall lose all if we attempt our old plan of exclu siveness. Besides, you must remember that it is a Peelite who is trying to open the gate for you. Something will be due to them as well as to the movement party, or the next thing you will see will be the Duke of NEW CASTLE Premier. of B— (in a faint voice). Dreadful—dreadful! But s urely, my dear Lord G----, you are not in earnest ? Lord Never more so in my life. I don't say I wish to sec it but it would do no great harm. There would be a chance ofmoderate men Working together heartily and carrying out useful measures. Lord J. My dear Lord G—, thank you a thousand times. I see the necess i ty o f sacr ifi ce — o f concess i on —i n f ac t, o f an y constitu tional measure for conciliating support. May I hope that we shall have the aid of your experience in our intended taskof Cabinet-making? Lord G—. Thank you—l am in no hurry. When Lord DERBY is out., and you are sent for, I shall be open to an offer. But I rather think you won't like my terms. [Exit. SCENE lII.T-----s Office. Messrs. L—., D—., &c. D— (throwing down his pen). I'm sick of this. It can't pay, and it isn't respectable. Here am I, wasting good rhetoric to prove that confis cation means amnesty, and that we shall make the Zemindars of Oude our implacable enemies by leaving them their estates. " What's to become of the Times," if we are never to grapple with the rights of a question ? Mr. L—. Never mind, my dear D—. ; let us get Lord DERBY out, and then you can be as candid and as logical as you please. Depend upon it, our present line will pay well enough. Mr. D—. Ay, ay, that's well enough for you—a Right Honour able, and all the rest of it. You puff Lord PALMERSTON because you've been well paid beforehand ; but I don't see that his return to office will do me any good, and meanwhile the paper is sacrificed. Mr. L—. Nay! now ; you're too modest by half. Why shouldn't your articles fetch as good a price in the market as mine ? You forget, " there are materials for two Cabinets on the Opposition side." Why don't you take up Lord J. R—, in case Lord P— gets pitchforked upstairs, or " goes under," as the Yankees say ? D— (musingly). Something in that; but the question rather is of his taking me up. And you see I've not had your Australian train ing, and can't eat dirt with a relish. But, besides this, I've a notion that the writers of "leaders" ought not be known. I don't think we are as powerful a print as we once were; but even now (forgive my hinting it) people think more of the Times as an authority than of Mr. R. L—. Mr. L—. Capital. Your quite Bright to day, isn't he, DE—? Mr. DE—. Well, I think he's not far wrong. I confess we are writing very shallow stuff: but there's some fun in it, after all. It takes a good hand, for instance, to make a case in favour of CARDWELL'S resolution. Think, too, if they do succeed in turning out Lord DERBY ! Every one will say the Times did it; we shall be the first estate of the realm instead of the fourth. With a new Ministry made of used-up Whig materials, full of jobs and blunders, and perpetually bad gered by the Independent Liberals, we shall easily see what is in the wind, and appear to prophecy or to dictate as we want to display our power or our intelligence. It is a great game, after all. We are the real Cabinet makers. Pity we don't make 'em a little better, eh, L—? Mr. L—. Not at all, not at all. What's the use of criticizing sen sible ? We want men in office whom we can censure or patronize—who have political nostrums to be puffed and jobs to be con cealed. So, hurrah for CARDWELL'S resolution, and three cheers for " The Times !" Chorus of Devils from below. " Three cheers for the Times !" "BEWARE!" Adapted from Longfellow by J. B. Eng., M.P. I know a Viscount gay and free; Take care! He can both Whig and Tory be— M.P.! beware! Trust him not ! he is fooling thee ! He has gay balls at his house in town ; Take care! He sends thee a card, and does thee brown! M.P.! beware! Trust him not ! he is fooling thee! And he has bribes of a gold en hue; Take care ! He promises many, and pays but few— M.P. ! beware ! Trust him not ! he is fooling thee ! He hints his plans thro' the Dodger L . . . ; Take care ! He knows how much it is safe to show; M.P.! beware ! Trust him not ! he is fooling thee ! He has a Cabinet, sketch'd out fair ; Take care ! He tells his dupes they will all be there! M.P.! beware ! Trust him not ! he is fooling thee I THE PRESS, MAY 22, 1858. measures