The Press. — London, England, 1853-09-24 00:00:00

THE PRESS. 492 REPORT OF THE OLMUTZ CONFERENCE. (By our Special Telegraph.) [,4 Chaselier at (Maids. The Emperor al Austria is sealed on a low roweh, smoking a eitasretk. The Cenor of Russia is strident/ about the room. ,4 larre:asap ql Europa hangs asalinst Ms wall. CZAR (impatiently) : My dear brother, there is one word which I never can get you Germans to utter or to understand. EMPEROR (Mnireltdly) : Alt ! What's that ? CZAR : The word Now. This is what I have been trying to impress upon you all the morning. And when I think I have ninth the ruse clear you light a fresh cigar, and ask me in which opera 6 slat made the greatest impression in Petersburg. Nobody likes singers and dancers better than I do—in their place—but, young as you are, you must feel that there is such a thing as business. Eurzaon : Don't I feel it ? Ask EOM. CZAR : Hee! There never was such an opportunity—l may sny there never was such a necessity—for us to understand one another. A bold united front now, and you, my dear brother, may sit &own in peace, and enjoy your music, and your tobacco, and your alarming female society for the rest of your life. EMPEROR: Do you believe that? Because, to speak the truth, I would really as soon be at peace as at war. Our people here like peace. CZAR : Our people like—what I like. But Ido not blame you for consulting, so far as you properly can, the prejudices of your subjects. What I propose to you seems to me the course they would desire. For what on earth but a disturbance must follow if Austria takes part with England and Franco against me ? EMPILROB : It is not against you, my dear brother; but, after all, there hangs the map, and we do not want to make a new edition necessary. CZAR : Don't be offended if I remind you that Konstrrii would have made a new edition necessary some time ago but for a friend of yours. EMPRROR : I have not forgotten it. Have we not just—discovered —the regalia of Hungary, providentially in perfect preservation, and not a jewel lost? CZAR: Dear me! I did hear that the Crown jewels of Hungary were in America. EmPsaon : The Court jewellers will give you any certificate you please to the contrary. They are most upright tradesmen. I hope you are satisfied with their assurance that those are the original articles. CZAR : Heaven forbid that I should doubt a Court thulesman. But, if you should ever happen to lose them again, the same number of men, or more if necessary, shall always be ready to assist in the recovery. Remember that. I do nut know whether France or England makes you the same offer. Emraaoa : You know my feeling towards both. As for Fflonee— but I suppose we have both the same reverence for paayentss. As for England— CZAR : ABERDRZN, I assure you, is a good man, a worthy man, and one who thoroughly understands and trusts me. EMPRROR : That we have never doubted. But he is powerless. CZAR: Not so powerless. He can do nothing: except one thing, which is better than if he did a great many things. He has the gift of preventing stronger people from doing anything. ABERDEEN has, in his dull, sour, obstructive way (fin' I admit he is not brilliant), done me very good service all through this business. Perhaps I know the English better than you. The islanders place a great value on some thing which continentals care little about—l mean public cha►acter. Now, my good AnKunEEN has not serupled in his old age to sacrifice all that remained to him of that article, for the sake of conforming to my wishes. Do not, therefore, esteem him lightly. He is at this moment the most unpopular man in England for the part he has taken as regards me. EMPEROR : Bah ! What are mob shouts in England ? One day the people stone WELLINOTON, and another they gather in millions to attend his funeral. CZAR : But it is not the mob this time. It is the class whieh has all the strength, the class that puts down mobs with dragoons just as readily as you or I should. The rich, the ethic: ated, and the well-born classes—all except a few cotton jobbers—are f till of bitter animosity against ABIRDSZN, and one of these days he will be swept from once by their indignation. All this he has ine urred for me, and the day I hear of his fall I shall send him a whole b etch of orders. Emnaoa : You see, if England keeps on terms with France-- CIAIII : Which she will. That maudit inedd ler, MALMESIWRY, con trived to lay so solid a basis for the union of Fi lime and England, that •ve Assanaim's crabbed ingenuity could not sh Ake it; and PALmEastoN, inn oquesiu,knows his business too well to :ru u risks in that quarter. SATURDAY, EMPEKOR : Very well. Then suppose you march upon Constunti- 114/Jae-- CZAR : Suppose nothing. Remember the motto of the Golden Fleece—Ankles - if yuam Amain mieet. EMPEROR : It appears to me that mystery is pretty well exploded by this time. So we will suppose what I say. You beat Omni PACHA out of Sehuinbi and march on the capital. The English and French fleets burn Odessa and bombard Sevastopol— CZAR: They will do nothing of the kind, my beloved brother, nothing. At least not if we put on, as I said, a bold and united front. If you will join me, and, I du nut say, repay any little serviee I may have dome you in the Hungary business (tin• you may command a million or so of my 111C11 at any time for such a trifle), but if you will Secure your own safety, by joining with 111 C against the constitutional Powers, neither French nor English powder will waken the eehoes of the Black Sea. Russia and Ail. trio united, and Prussia—(frhispers)— yes, that at least—the others will see very good reasons for leaving the Turks to settle their affairs with me, and for interceding just when. I desire it. EMt'snoß : I do not see the English papers. CZAR : But I do ; and you will be glad to hear that, in anticipation of your seeing the force of my arguments here at Ohniitz, the leading English journal is already advancing reasons why the Turks should be left to their fate—because they are wicked Mahometans, because they have in other times persecuted Christians, and l,ecause war costs blood and money. A sneaking Minister has always a sneaking organ ; and you are wrong, my dear brother, not to read the journals. EMPEROR : Well, if that is so, 1 confess that the interests of Austria and of Europe would seem to demand that I should yield to my wishes and side with you. Then, if it Mazzini outbreak in Italy, or a Kossuth affair in Hungary, should occur-- CZAR : Send me word, and I will do the whole work for you, from the first shot to the last gallows. Ironton: Then 13uot. hail better see NEssmatonE. Now shall we go to the ladies? I have invited—( Smiles.) CZAR ( /aughx): 0, nothing I like better—in proper time and place. Come along, won elan fri;re. One of these days you must come and spe n d fL fortnight With me at Stamboul, and let me show you St. Sophia, and the Seraglio, eh. ; jaw ("again. Exentil—L 7'hr Czar pluYlnlly poking the Emperor Austria in his Imperial ribs. A LEADER ON THE TURKISH QUESTION. VERsinEl► FROM A MINISTERIAL PAPER OF SEPT. 19.—THE PARENTHESES SUPPOSED TO OCCUR IN THE MINI► OF THE EDITOR.] 'Tis now understood that the insolent Czar Has dared to reject the poor t'orte's alterations, [lnto which we pitched lately, to stare off a war] Which had the approval of all the Great Nations, Who've shown themselves [small] in the cause of humanity— Trying hard to win over a Bear by urbanity. " Every &sputa' nut) , Mini; uM iestrlligetive that the arbitration of Europe bus bevonte portitms. the 4.011. 141411tellreM Itussis is ex clusively resputisible." " if the rztit, Instead of objecting hi the source of these proposittous objects to their rub ruiner, lie invests theiu with u cluulteter of ha porouice. "On the fonner of theme points (the source) It was ineismaible U. deny that Russia had ob tained a certain locus *Nadi." [Hum . 1 ] Now, we [of course] are delighted to see [Whew! Mercury's music will soon make the funds dance] That all the reports, which have reached us, agree That not on the grounds of the SOURCE but the SUBSTANCE He refuses the Vienna note, as amended To [totideni rerbis] mean what was intended. We always maintained, and we do so to-day, This impudent CZAR, son of parents nefausli, Possessed—and we beg you to mark what we say— On the grounds of the SOURCE, a correct locus staxdi ; lint now on the SUBSTANCE we dare take our stand, And agree with [confound it'] the sense of this land. Elaborate arguments, tending to prove The Powers [and ourselves] most untrue to our trust Are nonsense [0 gentisti!], potent to move " Elsbontteartrunteuts, olowrte, have been d e vi se d to pro% et hat the first Vicuna lotto coup prised tettlting more nor less than the provost ti tttt s of Nicitol.m4 melt, returnotl to hint for his own t ra er j c ,:,; t r Why, one would suppose, from the arguments used, lanes th the s of a thin! party. It Our Ministers guilty of bad tricks [and treason], surely cannot be 'leers. itary to plc pow , t h e p e ir. That first they the friendship of Turkey abused, contradiction' ofsuch Then cheated the nation of asking the reason: au suirerUou as this." Which arguments plainly want sense ; in a word [stunt !], Are self-contradictory [good at absurdum !] " It mist also be clear that they believed them pelves 14 , have obviated ohjections by the term% of their note, for other wise the note aunt the l'onferenee would have both been nugatory al together." The mob, but all powerless [on those who love dust). [And as to this Journal, we've only to say, That old talcs tell queerly at this time of day.] We grant with their NOTES they've done nothing to speak of. [ Whotproves they werefools doe s notprore they were badmen] Let them be well advised [at present to sneak off] To trifle with sharp tools would prove they were madmen ['Tilt clear we should try a few more notes before we Try that sok—the war-note—note not nugatory.] "It's clear that inter. Now, honour [a fig!], faith [fictitious trash!] vention could be much more conveniently et- Compel us to [notice how Turkey gets on] fected before the sword B e b o ld ; [where's the harm l] but we need not be rash; has been drawn than when the CZAR hos been Till might join with right [we should leave her alone]. brought within re" of [The change in our tone will be noticed of course: his prize with the title (4 conquest, and after But we'll humbug the public with SUB ITANCZ and SotTHCS]. the awes of war."/