The Press. — London, England, 1854-09-16 00:00:00

---r SEPTEMI3ER 16, 1854. The CHANCELLOR of the EXCHEQUER will advert to the circum stances of the time. He will allude to the glorious harvest of the pre eeling year, and show that it was foreseen by the Government, and that its certainty justified them in protracting operations in Turkey . Should any member be rude enough to ask why, the Chancellor w ill promise to explain later. He will then announce that the public revenue exhibits a very serious deficiency, and about two hours will suffice him to explain a few arithmetical errors in his calculations of 1854, which led him into a false estimate of our resources. He will show, also, that, though we appear to be out of pocket, still the revenue has actually sustained no damage whatever, because in his previous Budget he had materially undercalculated various items ; and, when his improved system of national bookkeeping comes into action, he has no doubt of discovering that everything is as right as possible. in the meantime he must positively have about 5,000,0001. To raise 3,000,000/. of this, he naturally and instantly recurs to the only rational process—a loan. In answer to the smile which at this moment will probably appear upon the face of Mr. Baring, the Chancellor will request him not to treat a serious topic with levity. In the next place he will state that he is in no degree whatever departing from the doctrine laid down by him upon so many occasions last session, namely, that loans were unjust, impolitic, and unprofitable. For a loan, in the sense in which Mr. Baring and other advocates of borrowing used the term, meant—he quotes an eminent American authority, Dr. Webster—" something " furnished for temporary use, on the condition that it shall be re " turned, or its equivalent, but with a compensation for the use." He will then enter at some length into a sketch of the history of loans, beginning with that which Queen Elizabeth obtained from Antwerp for the reform of the coinage, and describing the circumstances attending the loans for the seven years' war, for the American war, for the French revolutionary war, and for the war against Napoleon, and will show that none of them have anything to do with the matter in hand. A loan, he will urge, is, in the sense of Mr. Baring, a thing to be returned. Now, the loan he means to propose is one which will never be returned. Allowing the committee some time to digest this statement, he will explain that he intends to create a new species of property of an amphibious or hermaphrodite nature. He proposes to carve little freehold estates, which shall be enacted to be real property, out of the new stock. The possessor of one of these, value 1001., shall be deemed by law to be a landowner, and shall have the privilege of paying land tax, and the property shall be sub ject to succession duty. The coupons shall be in the form of a title deed, and shall be registered in the register counties. A county vote shall accompany each 1001., and these freeholds shall be good property qualifications for Parliament. Thus far they shall be real estate. But they shall be personal, in so far that they shall pay income tax, as divi dends now do, and that they shall be transferable by endorsement, like bills of exchange. So that they will pay both ways, but the failure of this will be evident when it is considered that a territorial aristocrat may be made so very cheaply. This will be at once a boon to the virtuous trading classes, and a source of profit to the Govern ment. 5,0001. of these coupons shall entitle the holder to claim a knighthood, and 20,0001. a baronetcy. It may be a question hero after whether any amount, say half a million, should qualify the holder for a peerage. He proposes to call this the Land Currency Loan. The 3,000,0001. will thus be raised. The remaining deficiency, and certain sums required for the carry ing on the war, he will raise as follows : Considering that, if religion be a matter in which men are in earnest, they will make sacrifices for it, he proposes to tax every minister of religion, of every denomination, 10/. per annum, to be raised, quarterly, by his flock. The Tractarians, who belong to the richer classes, are not to be exempt; but he considers that the Roman Catholics ought to be so, for various reasons for which the Brigade will give him credit. Every landowner, except those of the Land Currency Loan, shall pay a new tax, to bo levied upon all footpaths through his property, at a rate of one shilling per twenty yards. The penalty of stopping any pathway now existing is to be a heavy cumulative fine. The following will be subject to the assessed taxes : ROOKERIES. YACHTS. THE RACING GAME. PIGEON-HOUSES. I BILLIARD-TABLES. PICTURE-GALLERIES. DEER. PRIVATE BANDS OF MUSIC. CHILD'S PERAMBULATORS. The following articles of luxe will be subjected to one uniform duty of 11.:—Crochet-work (per foot). Perfumery. Easy-chairs. Wine-biscuits. Ice (except fishmongers'). Bathing machines. Ladies' " aglies." Novel 3 from circulating library (per 3 vols.). Photographs. Marriage licences. Divorce bills. Bouquets. Weekly newspapers (except the Economist). Betting-books (except pro fessionals). Prayer-books (except missals). Gloves (over No. 8/). Gold and silver fish. Shoeing-horns ani button-hooks. Fly catchers (except fly-paper). Parasols (over ls. 9id. in price). Pineapples. Venison, haunch or neck (except when presented to constituents). Checkstrings (except in hackney-carriages). New music. Flirtations (at per half hour). Electric telegraph mes sages (except on business). Serviettes, finger-glasses, and toothpicks (other than forks). Crested note-paper. Use of French language (except by traders). Admissions to hear parliamentary debates on nights when Mr. Gladstone or Sir Charles Wood speaks. It is hoped that the spirit which has dictated these financial arrangements will be appreciated by the masses throughout the country, and that the budget which will be based upon them will receive general support. In the meantime the Chancellor of the Exchequer, grateful for the numerous favours he has received from his contemporaries, submits the above outline for consideration, and will be happy to receive, at Broadstairs, any communications on the subject. a _ r• 112. 120. 125. 128. THE PRESS. 877 lIE ART OF POLITICS. (After the EPISTOLA All PISONEB.) Ut pictura poesig.—Hor. Some doubtless think the mighty craft of state Is choice of time your projects to relate, To say but little, leave the rest behind, To add or not, as chance may set the wind. Now, truth and force of policy profound, If I mistake not, will in this be found : Propose but little, leaving time for more, Nor slay your measures ere the session's o'er ; Unlike our rulers, thus, you calm review What to reject and what to carry through.* Select your words with prudent care at least, Nor hello " mummery!' while you fear a priest; Or chill the Parliament's yet echoing cheers By telling them to disbelieve their ears. But still no canon can be fairly set 'Gainat forming phrases not in Johnson yet. Such monstrous compacts as our placemen frame Johnson ne'er saw, and left no words to name. Yet here be careful —nor, like Molesworth, stand Prepared outlandish projects in your hand ; Nor fish "finality" from days long gone, Nor talk of " policy," displaying none. Like Autumn foliage, all such words decay, Serving for little minds their little day.f Use, after all, the only test affords By which th try the placemau's oily words. Would you of little make a sounding tale, Mark but how Graham takes the claptrap gale. Would you say nought, and yet to speak appear, Hearken while Gladstone puzzles all who hear. Or if an elegy on war you seek, See the tear glisten on the Premier's cheek. But who can best deplore each slaughtered bill Grub-street historians are contesting still?: In tragic tale no comic words retain, Nor censure blunders in a serious strain. Thus while the session's sad mishaps you tell, How Civil Service and Reform Bills fell, 'Twere vain to rise to Lyndhurst's scathing fire, Or hurl on placelings all a statesman's ire. But yet when swelling from the Danube far Come wafted cries of plague, but none of war, Indignant fleets and armies pining slow, The silent pestilence their only foe, Who to whom Britain freeman's name accords Can tell the shameful tale in tempered words ; Nor let such scorn as Chatham wielded fall On those whose selfish sloth has wrought it all ? Lest lords and knights break out in laughing jeer, Let every placeman keep his proper sphere.lj Who iu a time when firmest voice should sway The thoughtful senate's councils day by day, Can, 'stead of manhood's clear commanding tone, Hear age repeat its scarcely stifled moan,§ Or Russian hopes in English phrases hide, Excusing but what vainly were denied? Like Denmark's talking sage, such Premier can Still safest live " the unseen good old man.", 'Tis well if you would seek to found a name To try new flights, or follow former fame ; But yet how hard in days like these to find A novel cry to rouse the vulgar mind. In Manchester itself the themes are few, T' employ, or feed, or hang the patriot crew ; Their last poor subject left the tribunes all, When even the sewers were given to lucky Hall. Yet would you still some innovation plan, See that its various parts you careful scan ; Nor, like some measures we, of late, have seen, Find in it nought of what there once had been— A motley patchwork by each meddler wrought, While placemen smiled and " thanked him for the thought." 'Tis difficult, you must remember too, In talking nonsense to say might that's new.lT Yet if you laws must make, the statute's page Gives you the folly of each passing age. Like Fitzroy, gentleness from brutes exact ; Like Patten, Barebones' " beer bills" re-enact; And, like our rulers, feel that if you choose All public treasure is for private use,** From which you may to friends some aid afford, Nor servile render reasons word for word.ff • Hoc amet, hoc spentat promissi carminis anctor. 4 UL silvse foliis pronos mutantur in annos. Gratumatici certant et adhuc sub judice pis est. ii Si dicentis erunt fortunis absona dicta Romani tollent equites peditesque cachinnum. § Maturuanc senex, an adhuc fiorente juventa Fervidus. liffieilt, est proprie enmmunia dicere.—The above is the latest rendering of this and is, at least, as fair as that of " le lumineux Drimarsais." •• Publics materies privati juria erit. t+ Nec verbum verbo curabis reddere fidus Interpret.