The Press. — London, England, 1854-08-19 00:00:00

_ F - - THE PRESS. AUGUST 19, 1854. Algratit of ahtct CaVstnt : Vow be Conberteb Re Unßgbte of faarivta=33onnt. upon a bait tobm Sainct Olabstone of bgss tharitie (b hereof Re thronicles of Loijo bat WOO bass gi lookinge to befrenbe inabelss anb peatbeno, be torus atoare of ane saltine it nnbte of St. ffilarie=la , bonne nagnets Sgr Bmjamin pelt Cbgss knggte Wass of sot bgabo= limit a btargnge tbat bee bibbe, of bps bailge use anb Wont, l'clept ge 13pusboppess tbeebess anb rolmers. 'Alssoe bee toms of ane proub anb angtie burnout, rebgling Re Erie of Aberbeme anb ssaginge it beboobeb to tut offe bps babe, anb gibing ane 33abglonisb gentilmannt g'clep'b Eagarbe to knobse p bt bsouth be bass goobe manne anb treto against ge saib etit. ebio itnggbte in ssootbe brass as salbage a Itngsbte as tber came fortbr of Re marcbes of Males. But tbe Saint, notbing fearing, armeb bgmstlfe toitb tbe rbeque.booke of tbe Creasurg, markeb tbso thousanbe pounbs of golbe, anb, comgttge uppe to the knigbt, bee tube ant bobs to Lainet Gammon It be imolbe offer bms bill at four gears at bgs sbrint if bee toolbe conberte se knobte. fabereatte, to stela forth 7 grate sanctitie of saint Qglnbstmte, aub no less 7 pokier of airect Oammon, am agan l'eleptb )u2ne teas of a subbain struck b3ittt unb babe 7 knot te to take 7 ettcque anb tolbe has peace ; b3tert apply= 7 knEglate bibbe !age talbt of 7 ttecint-book, nub kisse ge same bitt a t most etfeing bebotion, anb bibbe prase of sainet tilabstout to name t a m ant penance for ge ease of Ills sable. then might se SSainct, "ff 7 bee trableb, 7 stall suit se praises of 7 Vgsljappt of Oictufoorbe at atins anb Vespers, unb 7 shall sgngt ant hmnt to 7 ez cclesinstitall ommgssioimirto anb to 7 Alastoppe of Q3loutestre anb gristolt ; nub 7 stall stank( once upon 7 hustings of glarie-la-bonne to be rebilcb." Chen gc knotte took ant haft of 7 rteque-booke anb putte ge same in has bosom, anb putte off ins armour of rebellion nub turneb has matt insgbt out ; Inttrefort, as tearneb clerkes (in Et Noartr of )taltt) relate, tee is resting in ge parabise of 7 Coalition, to gainct 61abstant has grate tawny anb pragst. ILICE T. Farewell to the Session !—its bustle, Its changes, and rumours of change, Its nights that drew tears from Lord Russell, Its days that made Gladstone look strange. The jokes are all gone from Lord Pam's pate, Sir James cannot bother the House, Opposition is bathing at Ramsgate, And Government sailing at Cowes. Farewell to the Session !—its treasons, Its foreign flirtations and votes, Misrepresentation of reasons, And misunderstandings of notes. Sir Charles, that "inutile lignum," Leaves India to ruin herself; And Molesworth is off, " ecce signum," For Grotius is laid on the shelf. Farewell to this promising Session, With its very unpromising war. Let Gladstone be off to confession, And Herbert to stay with the Czar; The Duke of Newcastle to feting His very unfortunate friends ; While Williams is dolefully stating Where all this extravagance ends. Farewell to the Session !—it finished The firm of Lord A., Son, and Co.; Farewell ! it has sadly diminished Reputations two dozen or so. Lord Aberdeen's wits must be prayed for, Charles Greville will have to be feed, The Exchequer Bills must be all paid for— Alas ! how our pockets will bleed ! E A. 781 THE RESURRECTION OF MR. LAWLEY. In his office, sadly toiling, Perverse sums his efforts foiling, Labours Gladstone, grimly moiling, And no secretary near, When, the door wide open throwing, And his cheeks with anger glowing, Lawley, who of late was going To Australia, did appear. " Falsest of the Coalition !" Said he, " look at my position, And remember the condition On which Gordon got my seat. Think you basely thus to use me, And let canting Grey abuse me, And all recompense refuse me, For so foelingless a cheat? " Was it not enough, depending On your projects' happy ending, That my latest sixpence spending On the Stock Exchange I went? On your luckless plans I rested, And to every stag protested That for every pound invested They would net a cent. per cent. Now, though I'm choused so cleverly Of both place and seat for Beverley, Don't the flattering unction ever lay That I'm swindled and content!" Then said Gladstone, " Make no riot; Take your pen and stool in quiet, And our former dodge we'll try it, With more fortune than before." So the " Governor " descended, His proconsulate quick ended, And his clerkly pen he mended, " Confidential" as of yore. THE SPEAKER'S MANUAL. SOME of our daily contemporaries have stated—and with accuracy— that in the course of the session, the Speaker, charitably desirous to instruct the new members, and, it may be, scandalised at the irregu larities of some of the old ones, prepared a little manual, in which the forms of the House are set forth, and advice is given to our legisla tors how they ought to proceed in the discharge of their functions. The handbook is drawn up with the skill which might be expected from its author, but there are a few omissions from the pages devoted to " Officials in the House," which we have pleasure in supplying, and which the Right Hon. Gentleman is perfectly welcome to incorporate into his next edition. PREMIERS. The Premier is not, at the present time, a member of the House of Commons, but, as the next change is expected to confer that dignity upon an elected legislator, it may not be amiss to mention that the duty of the Premier of England is to promote the interests and policy of the nation, and, at least, not to betray the one and impede the other. Non-observance of this rule has occassioned much in convenience. LORDS OF ADMIRALTY. A Lord of Admiralty should upon all occasions abstain from observations calculated to excite mutinous ideas among the men engaged in the service of the Crown. A Secretary to the Admiralty should study good English, and eschew bad jokes. CHANCELLORS OF EXCHEQUER. Chancellors of the Exchequer are of various kinds, and there are two specimens in the existing Cabinet. Neither is a model. A Chancellor of the Exchequer should sometimes be able to state a sum without blundering, but fluency and apparent accuracy may ho pur chased too dearly at the price of truthfulness. It is better to blunder at the table of the House, like Wood, than in the Bank parlour, like Gladstone. - - HOME SECRETARIES. A Home Secretary may be entirely unfit for his office, and pro bably will be, if selected rather with a view to the strengthening a cabal than with that of serving a country. But if he accepts such an office he should give his full strength to its drudgery. It is the extreme of benevolence to take care that your department shall be inefficient, for fear of injuring, by contrast, the reputation of departments filled by those whom you know to be incapable of their duty. FOREIGN SECRETARIES. A Foreign Secretary should be able to talk French. He should also condescend on taking office, just to read the despatches of his predecessor with sufficient care, not to stultify thorn by his own. COLONIAL SECRETARIES. A Colonial Secretary's office is so nearly a sinecure that it will shortly be suppressed. Tho system of detaching the colonies from the mother-country is in full development, and every year brings fresh proof of its success. Meantime, a Colonial Secretary's chief duty is the selection of Colonial Governors, and ho cannot too constantly bearCin THE GREATEST NUMBER. According to the newspapers, Mr. Hume, on the presentation of his picture, said that " his chief aim in life had been to promote the greatest good of the greatest number " The reports omit to state that Lord John Russell here interrupted him with the question, " What is the greatest number ?" and that Mr. Hume, with great promptitude, replied, "Number one, to be sure."