The Press. — London, England, 1853-06-25 00:00:00

THE PRESS. 80 IMAGINARY CONVERSATIONS OF EMINENT MEN. THE BISHOP OF OXFORD AND MR. COBDEN. "On Wards Sir William and Lady llolesworth entertained at dinner the VIM& Ambassador and Walewski, the Duka and Duchess of Argyll, the Berl of Aber. deem, Mr. Delano, Sir James and Lady Graham, Mr. Cobden, and the Bishop of Wed." Mersin/ Pest June W. Bishop of OXFORD: I should be honoured, and deeply gratified, by taking wine with Mr. Cobden. Mr. COBDILN: I am not a teetotaller, though I signed a declaration against the use of spirituous and fermented liquids by the working classes. Bishop of OXFORD: The working classes will naturally listen with the utmost deference to their most distinguished benefactor. Mr. COBDRN : I cannot pretend to be that; I did my best, like many others. The Bishop of Oxford, if I mistake not, was not wanting in his efforts. Bishop of OXFORD: I hope I did not shrink from the fray. I con fess to you I was, if not converted, at least confirmed and encouraged, by your appeals. After all, as you well observed, there is nothing like a great principle. The principle of freedom is the principle of the age. The " genius of the epoch" is hostile to all restrictions. Intercourse can endure no limits, and the energies of man must have full play. Monopoly is essentially the privilege of individual exertions in a state of very imperfect civilisation. This country has clearly outgrown its swaddling clothes. Besides, the principle of freedom had hereditary claims on my devotion. Mr. Colinas : Yes ; you bear an honoured name, and a West Riding name too. Bishop of OXFORD: Ah! what a magnificent community is the West Riding, and what a proud privilege to be its representative ! I will not say, were I not Alexander, I would be Parmenio ; but, were I not Bishop of Oxford, I should be, by no means, disinclined to be Member for Yorkshire. Mr. COBDEN : Well, I was standing at the bar of the House of Lords the other day when your Lordship was addressing it, and I said to Bright that I thought our House would suit your style better. Bishop of OXFORD: A very interesting man your friend Mr. Bright. I have not yet the pleasure of his acquaintance, but I look forward to making it with very sincere gratification. Mr. Comas : Yes ; he is a man of great ability, and of very deter mined views. Bishop of OXFORD: Determined views are the strong mind. Mr. COBDEN : I hardly know which is most remarkable in Bright, his energy, or his desire to apply it. I often say of Bright that if "he were not a Quaker he would be a pugilist." Bishop of OXFORD : The Quakers are a very interesting sect; I have no sort of prejudice against them. They are not near so bad as the Jews, and certainly preferable to the Socinians. Mr. COBDEN : Well, my Lord, I tun myself a Churchman— Bishop of OXFORD : Oh ! I know it ;—I know it well, Mr. Cobden. Well am I aware that you are a true son of the Church ; and really, to be sure, looking around us, with so many Pres byterians, and a Hobbist for a host, though the best man in the world, I can assure you, Mr. Cobden, that, though I have not many prejudices, there is a satisfaction in sitting next to a sound Churchman. of a Mr. Cosmoi : But I was going to say, my Lord, that, though a Churchman, and I suppose a sound Churchman, for I believe what my mother believed, who first took me to church— Bishop of OXFORD : The spirit of woman has been, under Divine Providence, a blessed instrument for the propagation of the faith, and the endowment of the Church. Mr. COBDEN : Well, that was what I was just going to touch upon. As your Lordship just said, there is nothing like a great prin. eiple, and, though a true Churchman, I want to know why the great principle of freedom should not be applied to the Church as well as to everything else ? Why should there be bounties and restrictions in theology any more than in commerce ? And what is endowment (for example) but a bounty? Bishop of OXFORD: An offering to Him from whom all bounties flow. This is an extremely pretty house. Mr. COBDEN : Why should there be thirty-nine articles, any_ more than forty? Why any restrictions on discussion ? Bishop of OXFORD : The Church never fears discussion properly con ducted. Have you yet heard the Cologne singers? Mr. COBDEN : In my opinion, the same conditions should apply to ministers of the gospel as to members of all other professions. We should he permitted to employ whom we like, and pay whom we like. We should be very much surprised, if we bought an estate, that a particular lawyer in the parish should claim as his right to make the conveyance ; or, if we wanted a portrait painted of a member of our family, a particular artist, who might be a very bad one, should insist upon our hanging up his works in our dining-room. EW S litjilishop of OXFORD: Do you like pictures in dining-rooms? It is a moot point. Some great judges have gone so far even as to - r - • maintain that they distract the process of digestion. Mt. COBDEN : If, as your Lordship very properly observed, monopoly l•er is the creature of barbarism, on what principle, in the present day, can the monopoly of the Church be defended ? Bishop of OXFORD: I see the ladies are rising ; I hope we shall soon join them; • • . I think we have a prospect of some delighttlil r S 3 1 - i d music. SATURDAY, TALENTS AND TURKS. Talents and Turks ! What a stormy breeze Blows from this terrible brace of T's. Always it threatens ugly weather If Talents and Turks are seen together. Be it in seven or in fifty-three, Talents and Turks can never agree ; Come they in peace, or come they in war, Meddle to make, or meddle to mar; Frenchman or Russian, pro or eon., Talents and Turks can never get on. Be it a cans UM clearly, Or a doubtful tale of suspicion merely, Ever some magical mischief works ; Talents can never get on with Turks. When France was governed by NAP the First, With a year of Talents was England cursed; Our foreign affairs had a sad mishap, For the Talents fought with the Turks and NU'. Bravely the Straits were forced by DUCKWORTH ; But little, alas! was the Admiral's pluck worth. Like the army that followed the King of Fauns, Like the couples that figure in country dance, The British fleet and the British men Sailed up the Straits, and sailed down again. Turkey, and Egypt, and " Boneys Airs,"* Sadly embroiled - our foreign affairs, Till the British Lion his tale 'gan sink, And the Talents went out in a smoke and a stink. Round in a cycle all things run ; Nothing is new beneath the sun. Half a century well nigh o'er, All the Talents are in once more. ABERDEEN mounts on GRENVILLE'S box, Little Joni sits in the place of Fox; CLARENDON follows Little JOHN, As Howica governed when Fox was gone. The self-same elements, Talents all, No matter the coinage, great or small ; For, when Talents so many to rule combine, Who raises the question of Miinz or Schein ? When France is governed by NAP the Third, The rule of the Talents continues absurd ; Our foreign affairs become quite ridiculous, For the Talents give up the Turks to NICHOLAS. Oh! a pleasing smile has the Russian Bear, And to doubt a friend's word is a dreadful affair; For the Talents know, and their Bishop has said it, That a man with a smile you may certainly credit. Can a Premier fathom an Emperor's wiles? Can ABERDEEN doubt when his NicaoLas smiles? So his Lordship bowed as he took a note Of the draught prepared for the Sultan's throat, — Prepared and flavoured in crafty sort, A mingled draught of bitters and Porte. " Far be it from me," he said, " to bar The gracious will of the gracious Czar; Our talented conscience quite at its ease is If your Majesty does what your Majesty pleases." Talents and Turks, alas and alack ! Talents and Turks once more come back ! Ever the magical mischief works, Talents can never get on with Turks. For the temper of Talents is always such, They must do too little or do too much. They must venture their fleet in the Golden Horn, To the Frenchman's boast and the Mussulman's scorn ; Or deafen their ears to the warning call, And wisely resolve to do nothing at all. Come read my riddle, ye who can read, Why Talents and Turks can never succeed ; Come guess me my riddle, ye who can guess, Why Talents and Turks are still in a mess. Come they in peace, or come they in war, Meddle to make, or meddle to mar; Ever the magical mischief works ; Talents can never get on with Turks. • Jack's pronunciation of Buenos Ayres, tests " The Old Sailor." AN ENGLISH "FINDING" UPON " IRISH FACTS."—A jury, composed of his colleagues, have investigated the charge of sedition against Mr. Kicoou, and have returned their verdict—" Not Guilty ; and he must never do it again." UNION IS STRZNOTH.—" The Coalition Government weak!" says Mr FRANK CRIMEAN, " You forget the fable of the bundle of sticks." A NEW TITLE POE LORD ABERDEEN.—The Doge Moroe(e)ini. " People who live in glass houses should not throw stones ;" and those who cannot get on without Wood should abstain from taxing timber,