The Press. — London, England, 1853-09-10 00:00:00

THE PRESS. THE CABINET CARD PARTY. I private oparhnent at the Foreign Cifflea. The four Ministers who asseralskd eto hastily to settle the Turkish question,for the eleventh and last time of settlement seta discovered, playing al cards, and waiting for despatches. Lord AsURDZIN : Shuffle, Clarendon. Lord CLARENDON : You are always making me shuffle. (Cards dealt.) It's Pahnerston's lead. Lord PAuficarcroa (aside) : I wish it was. (Plays.) There, my Lords, like the princess in the story, I am perpetually dropping diamonds. (Billy.) By the way, Aberdeen, they are very fond of diamonds in Russia, if you happen to know such a place. Lord ABERDEEN (sulkily): The muckle dell tak Roosha, and all her concerns. (Plays.) Lord JOHN Resam : Don't, don't ! That's a very wicked way of talking. (Plays.) I've followed your lead, Palmerston. (Lord Claren don plays.) Lord PALMERSTON : And won the trick. It's a way people have who do as I bid them. If somebody I know had trumped Menschikotf's ultimatum with Dundas's broadside, as I advised, we four should not be sitting in a back office the first week in September, instead of shooting partridges. However, we won't talk of that, or the Premier will get revoking, to the great damage of Clarendon's peace of mind. Lord ABERDEEN : I wish ye'd just play. Dinna talk so, man. lord PAtmeawros : While I'm talking I'm playing, as has been found out once or twice iu the House and elsewhere, my dear Aberdeen. Nobody wastes fewer words than her MAjesty's present Home Secre tary, but holding your tongue is not always the best proof of wisdom. Lord Ct.mumooN : Very good prima fade evidence of it, though, if you have nothing to say. Lord PALMERSTON : Experto crede. I may, Aberdeen, I have presentiment that despatches of a particularly disagreeable character are on their way. It's your play. Lord ABERDEEN : They canna weer be more disagreeable than your interlocutions, my Lord Palmerston. Lord PALMERSTON : Don't put yourself out. There now, see, you've lost the trick, with the best card in your hand—a manifest judgment upon you for your ill temper. You never see me put out. Lord ABERDEEN (spitefully) : Not since Christmas twelvemonth. Lord PALMERSTON (laughing): Very good—very good indeed. Who says the old gentleman's memory is failing? Christmas had a February after it, too—hadn't it, Russell? Lord JOHN ItUBSELL : Never mind. You played the deuce? Lord PALMERSTON : I did, though I ought not to say so. That's lost. John, you are a very steady player, and stick to the rules, but you have no dash in you. I have some notion that you think you play constitutionally, and as Lord Somers would have done in a similar emergency ; but your long-whist ideas won't do. Lord Jonx RussEtt. (lfended): If I lose, I have at least the con solation of knowing that I have adhered to those maxims which have tended Lord PALMERSTON : I know. All right. That's ours. Do you know, Aberdeen, that I think it would be an excellent plan to send Clarendon to St. Petersburg, to see what ho can do in this matter? Cobden would give him a note to the Emperor, I dare say. It would look as if we were in earnest when we send ono of the cleverest men in England to negotiate. Lord CLARENDHN (muck pleased): Oh, I'm guru I--(fn the excess of kis eon.limion and gratification revokes.) Lord AsEsnxxx (grimly) : Are ye clean daft' Havn't ye a club ? And air ye sic an eediot as not to see what ho means ? Wha's to do your wark while ye're gaun. Is the linen of the Foreign Office to be given to the hizzies of the Home Office to wash—ye born natural? Lord PALMERSTON (carelessly): Oh! as to that—any little matter that the clerks did not see their way in, I would put right with the greatest pleasure. Don't study my interest. Lord ABERDEEN : 'Deed I shan't. Wo understand. But the climate o Roosha wadna agree with Clarendon—he's na that strong. Lord PALMsiterroN : Well—l don't know. He was sent to pester the Spaniards, being of the Boring Don family, and you know— " With the addition of a light pelisse, Madrid's and Mosoow's chines are of a piece." Lord JOHN Resszu.: There is this objection to parting with Clarendon. I should be expected to go back to the Foreign Office, and this lam not anxious to do. I speak French very well, and with a very pure accent, but I cannot understand what is said to me in reply, which rather impedes discussion. Lord PALMERSTON: My dear Russell, it would be impossible to spare you from the work which you discharge soi admirably. Ah! you took that trick from them very cleverly—very neat finesse, indeed. No—but I think an arrangement might be made. If Aberdeen does not go out at once, he must go before Parliament meets, of course. Lord MAMMIES: I just see na " of course " in the matter. Lord PALMERSTON: Yes, my dear fellow, you must go. Lord Jolts Russutt: Why, yes, he must go, that's certain. Lord CLARENDON: Certainly, he must go ; no help for it. Lord PALMERSTON: Well, then,—supposing—l merely put it hypo thetically—that Aberdeen goes to—to—to bed, we'll say, and Clarendon to Russia,—l should be very happy to hand my work over to anybody —George Grey, if he is well enough ; or your brother, Clarendon, what would he say to it? or Bright, if you like. Well, then give Benjamin Hall his peerage (Lord Badger, isn't it?), and let him be Clarendon's nominal successor—he's quite competent to fold and en dorse letters. q X t... 1 Lord JOHN RUSSELL: And the real work to be done by —? Lord PALMERSTON : Myself, of course, as—a—a—Premier. (Rus sell, I'm leading up to the Queen.) For, to that it must come, unless you are determined to smash the Coalition. Lord ABERDEEN (dashes down his cards, having just assured himself that if he goes on he loses the rub): But I'll hear of na sic a thing, and I'll see the hale Meenistry at the de'il before I'll consent. Lord PALMERSTON: Very well, my dear fellow, very well. It isn't worth being in a rage about. If we don't settle it, the country will settle it for us, and I, for one, can quite afford to wait. Take up your cards—l thought you never showed your hand if you could help it. Lord ABERDEEN (petulantly): No, I'll not play. I dinna like to be fashed with impairtinencies. (Leaves the table.) Lord PALMERSTON : Just as you like. Russell and Clarendon, let's go the odd man. Lord JOHN RUSSELL: Thank you, I'm the odd man of the Cabinet already. Let's play fright. (He takes up the cards, when a knock is heard. Messenger enters, with despatches from Russia, and the fright becomes earnest.) THE MINISTERIAL FOUR. They meet—a partie carrie— But none of them will swear They meet with an intention Of playing " on the square." A CLASSICAL INTERPRETATION. THE present Foreign Secretary, and the three ex Secs., at their pleasant little junta a quatre, on the " modification question," drew up t. draft minute to which they attached their initials. Lord PAL• mEas•roN signed last, and the signatures then stood thus—A. C. J. R. P. The " Civis Burnam's," not forgetting his classical powers of adaptation, was heard to observe that these initials were as symbolical as S.P.Q.R., for the interpretation of the collective signature was "Abest Consilium Inde Regnuns Periet." THE VIENNA NOTE.-A LEGAL OPINION. --- Tort Cm rrrY says that, notwithstanding the new rules, you may plead to an action on the Vienna note " the general issue," and that "it was made without consideration." EPITAPH ON LORD ABERDEEN, FROM HOOD'S " BRIDGE OF SIGHS." Speak of him tenderly, Gently, and humanly— All that remains of him Now is pure womanly. A DISAPPOINTMENT. WHY didn't they make HAYWARD Commissioner of Charities ? How could they overlook faithful ABRAHAM ? We understand that he has been heard in the Temple Gardens. to which, though no Bencher, he has access, muttering to himself, and whistling "Cauld trail Eras ABERDEEN." SUPERFLUOUS ENMITIES. THE Times says that " attempts to sow divisions in the Ministry were never more out of place." We ran admit this, for we are perfectly aware that the crop is spontaneous. ADVERTISEMENTS. WE observed some curiosities of this kind in the Times of Friday. In one a pamphlet on the Madrid Protestant Burying Ground is com mended by a quotation from the British Banner attributing to it " a • .raeiness not to be found in any other like production." And by the other " a prorerhially steady and unmarried youth" is invited to undertake the duties of a magistrate's clerk. if the proverbial gen- • tleman were to edit the British Banner, and his present substitute were to put his raciness at the disposal of the local Themis, we would suggest that both parties were more likely to be suited. ti A, ....0