Event 0: SCP-579 is discovered. Point of origin is [UNLOCK POINT 
OF ORIGIN DLC FOR 2000 TELEKILL] 


Event 1: Initial assessment of SCP-579 is undertaken. [UNLOCK 
TEST RESULT DLC FOR 2000 TELEKILL] 


Event 2: SCP-579 is inadvertently [UNLOCK "THING THAT GOES 
WRONG" DLC FOR 5000 TELEKILL] 


Event 3: [SUCCESSFUL CONTAINMENT DLC IS GOC EXLUSIVE. 
UNLOCK SUCCESSFUL CONTAINMENT DLC BY ORDERING 
THIS DOCUMENT FROM THE GOC] 


Event 4: SCP-579 is moved to Site-[SITE NUMBER DLC IS UIU 
EXCLUSIVE. UNLOCK SITE NUMBER DLC BY ORDERING THIS 
DOCUMENT FROM THE UIU] 


Event 5: SCP-579 is moved into 


Uh-oh! You have run out of ENERGY! You can wait for 15h 20m 
for more ENERGY or replenish your ENERGY instantly with 100 
TELEKILL, and continue to read this document! 


SCP-184-J: The Elaboration Squirrel 


Item #: SCP-[The whole number (‘whole’ by the definition provided 
by the principles of mathematical disambiguation; that is, itis a 
natural integer, and is not negative) higher than the number 183 and 
smaller than the number 185, while not possessing any decimals (as 
it is an integer (again, not negative (Note: This time it isn’t defined 
by the principles of mathematical disambiguation, but rather by 
general mathematics))).]184 


Object Class: Safe, as is classified under the current classification 
Safe/Euclid/Keter system, employed by our organization (the SCP 
Foundation). It should be noted that some opposition against this 
system has been voiced by several prolific (prolific, in the sense 
that, many, and | myself would go as far as to say most, of our 
(again, the SCP Foundation. | do not suggest that ‘our’ refers to 
myself (| should add that | am an individual), and if | were to refer to 
myself, | would most likely use the word ‘my’, in context.) personnel 
are aware of their existence and relevance in our (again, the SCP 
Foundation) organization) staff members, most notably (although 
certainly not alone in opinion) Dr. M , who has made mention 
several times, both formally and informally, of the various deficits 
pertaining to this system, as it is. The most notable discrepancy 
would be the inconsistency the Safe/Euclid/Keter classification 
method is applied by our (the SCP Foundation) personnel, and the 
lack of information that is legitimately conveyed by such labels. For 
instance, [“DATA” REDACTED] 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-184 is to be contained in 
(of note, the containment procedures have been formulated by Dr. 

, and revised in conjunction with Dr. as of / /2013) what is 
effectively a practically infinite recompilation of circles. Not spheres, 
| should say, but rather if a circle, in the second dimension, with a 
diameter of 4 meters, was laid on top of another two-dimensional 
circle, and this continued until a third-dimension was formed, 
granting this array length, width, and depth, and the length of this 


SCP-556: Painted Aircraft 


Item #: SCP-556 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-556 is stored in a secure 
hangar at Site .No materials containing any ink, dye, or paint may 
enter the Red Zone established in a 50 meter radius around 
SCP-556. 


In the case of a ‘runoff’ incident from accidental introduction of raw 
material into SCP-556, the containment area must be locked down 
for a minimum of 48 hours pending re-evaluation of SCP-556 via 
remote exploration. Personnel working within the Red Zone of 
SCP-556 must be paired at all times, and any missing personnel are 
to be reported immediately. 


Description: SCP-556 is the recovered wreckage of Varig cargo 
flight PP-VLU, a Boeing 707-323C that crashed approximately 

320 km east-northeast of Tokyo, Japan on January 30, 1979. At the 
time, the aircraft was carrying 153 paintings when a Foundation 
listening post picked up an anomalous Mayday signal from the flight. 
Officially, the aircraft disappeared without a trace and no wreckage 
was ever recovered. Foundation assets were able to recover 
SCP-556 mostly intact ata depth of meters on //1979 and 
transported the wreckage to Site, where it remains today. 


The exterior of SCP-556 has sustained extensive damage 
consistent with a high-speed impact into water followed by exposure 
at crush depth. Despite this, the interior of SCP-556 is mostly intact, 
and was in fact discovered dry at time of recovery and 86% covered 
by a layer of paint. Spectroscopic and chemical analysis has shown 
this layer to be a mixture of the paint on the paintings carried by PP- 
VLU on its last flight, with traces of human DNA. The paint forms a 
continuous, static scene depicting a large industrial complex in 
which several human figures are being [DATA EXPUNGED]. 


this compilation was, after the 4 meter diameter of said circles, 6 
meters. A cylinder. Inside of this cell, a tree has been planted, along 
with what is known as a traditional herbaceous border, which is one 
of the larger and grandiose (‘grandiose’, defined as “impressive or 
magnificent in appearance or style, especially pretentiously so.”) 
type of feature you could expect to see in large country-house 
gardens (these are often backed by a yew hedge or high stone wall 
and packed with summer-flowering perennials, although in the case 
of the special containment procedures for SCP-184 (for more in- 
depth analysis of SCP-184’s item number (#), see ‘Item #:’, above.), 
it is not.). 


So as to provide a comfortable chamber for SCP-184 (again, see 
‘Item #:’), as is outlined by Dr. Halsey’s article, ‘Cold, Not Cruel’, 
(issued to all Level 2 personnel and higher (it is also of note, that, as 
is the S/E/K (Safe/Euclid/Keter) containment system, the Level 1- 
Level 5 security system in place is also under scrutiny by Dr. M ; 
for being too ungranular for legitimate security in our (the SCP 
Foundation) organization.), per the authorization by O5 Council, as 
of 06/11/2013), unnecessarily unpleasant conditions have been 
avoided. 


Description: It’s a squirrel that makes you keep talking when it’s 
nearby. It wasn’t when | wrote this part. 


Addendum 184-0001: Researchers affected by SCP-184 are not to 
attend to documentation of any kind until all symptoms of exposure 
are completely absent. Holy fuck. 


SCP-19316-J: Improper Terminology 


Item #: SCP-19316-J 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: Foundation web crawlers are to 
perform regular searches for SCP-19316-J instances. If review 
determines that a piece of writing represents an instance of 
SCP-19316-d, the writing must be removed and its creator 
interviewed, then amnesticized as appropriate. 


Description: SCP-19316-J is a set of documents that contain 
anachronistic and/or nonsensical applications of terminology and 
structure associated with Standard SCP Summaries. As of 
2012-11-15, 3,587 instances of SCP-19316-J have been identified. 
1,118 instances predate the Foundation, while the remainder 
developed independently of the Foundation in contemporary times. 
An additional 8,500 are estimated to exist outside of containment. 


In several cases, instances of SCP-19316-J have detailed the 
containment of anomalous items whose existence has been 
confirmed independently, and were purportedly produced by 
organizations dedicated to the study, containment, and/or 
destruction of anomalies. While several of these organizations did 
exist, none used documentation standards or technical terminology 
with straightforward Foundation equivalents. 


Individuals or organizations that produce SCP-19316-J instances do 
not exhibit knowledge of the Foundation or the association of 
SCP-19316-J with anomalous phenomena, and cannot adequately 
explain their reasons for creating SCP-19316-J instances. Thus, 
SCP-19316-J does not represent a breach of secrecy. 


SCP-19316-J excludes documentation from [DATA EXPUNGED], 
which directly or indirectly inspired Standard SCP Summary 
structure and terminology. 


Addendum: Sample SCP-19316-J instances. 


Item #: SCP-19316-J-105 

Description: Note attached to plastic food container at 
Pharmaceuticals. 

Excerpt: 


Special Containment Procedures: Evelyn's pork chops 
are to be kept in a sealed plastic container in the 5th 
Floor Break Room's refrigerator. Storage in any non- 
refrigerated environment may result in a GK-class 
Gastrointestinal Incident. 


Item #: SCP-19316-J-404 

Description: Cave paintings in , Indonesia, dated to roughly 
41,000 BCE. 

Excerpt: 


ltem #: [Illustration of two tree branches] 

Object Class: [Illustration of fire] 

Description: [Illustration of a massive lizard attacking a 
group of humans] 


Item #: SCP-19316-J-786 

Description: Booklet given to the British Museum by an anonymous 
donor. Attributed to the likely nonexistent "His Majesty's Foundation 
for the Study of the Apocryphal and Alchemical", "A Society for the 
Securing, Containance, and Protection of the Abnormal or Unholy", 
"Meeting of the Royal Society of London for Improving Natural 
Knowledge in which Certain Items of an Incongruous Nature are 
Presented and Discussed", and the "Mystery Men of North 
Nottingham". 

Excerpt: N/A. No coherent sample of the writing is brief enough to 
include in this document. 


Item #: SCP-19316-J-1000 
Description: Graffiti in Duluth, MN. 
Excerpt: 


MY ASS 
Object Class: Keter 
Special Containment Procedures: we can't 


Item #: SCP-19316-J-1245 
Description: Image uploaded to imgur.com. 


Show image 


Item #: SCP-19316-J-1506 

Description: Post on 4chan.org's "paranormal" board. 
Accompanied by a photograph of Izumi Kato's "Untitled 2004" 
sculpture. 

Excerpt: 


Description: Origin unclear, moved on-site 1993. The 
object is constructed of paper mache and Krylon brand 
spray paint, but is hard as concrete. Item 173 is animate 
and extremely hostile: it will crush the head of anyone it 
can reach, but only when unobserved, as it cannot move 
while in a direct line of sight. It's fucked up, is what I'm 
getting at. 


The reddish brown substance on the floor is my disbelief. 
The non-suspension of this material is unexplained. 


Item #: SCP-19316-J-1621 

Description: Geometry worksheet created by a teacher at High 
School, ,MA. 

Excerpt: 


Problem #: 13 


Object Class: Euclidean 


SCP-065-J: Singing Cacti Amigos 


Item #: SCP-065-J 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-065-J is to be contained in 
a simulated desert ecosystem, and provided with water and fertilizer 
weekly. SCP-065-J is to be provided with recording devices and the 
recordings provided to Site-19's recreational center. No recordings 
on Mondays. 


Description: SCP-065-J is a collection of three desert cacti. 
SCP-065-J do not differ in physical appearance from non- 
anomalous cacti, despite being capable of speech, and usually wear 
sombreros. SCP-065-J are designated from SCP-065-J-1 to 3. 


SCP-065-J display sapient behavior, and are capable of 
understanding and speaking English and Spanish. SCP-065-J often 
communicates in song. SCP-065-J was recovered from the Arizona 
Desert, and was brought to the Foundation's attention by a rogue 
outbreak of spontaneous musicals in the surrounding area. 


Addendum: Interview Log 065-J-1 
<BEGIN LOG> 
INTERVIEWER: Good morning, SCP-065-J. 


SCP-065-J: [Turns to Security Camera-3... Somehow ] 3 
Hello kids! J 


INTERVIEWER: Wait, what? 


SCP-065-J-1: J) Kids, do you want to learn about 
America's proud history? 3 


INTERVIEWER: Uh, do you understand your current 


condition? 


SCP-065-J-1: We're the Singing Cacti Amigos!) 


Amiiligoooos! 3 


INTERVIEWER: Right. Do you recall anything about your 
origins? 


SCP-065-J-1: 33 Used to be a little cactus, 
Dreamt of being a star... 

Followed that star, 

And here | am... 

With the Singing Cacti Amigos! J 


SCP-065-J-2 & 3: 4 Cactiiii Amiiiigoooos! Cactiiii 
Amiiligoooos! 3 


INTERVIEWER: J) Cacti amigos? J] 


SCP-065-J: 2 Cactiiii Amiiiigoooos! Cactiiii Amiiiigoooos! 
J) 


Site-19: 2 CACTII! AMINIGOOOOS!!! 4 
<END LOG> 

Addendum: Interview Log 065-J-2 
<BEGIN LOG> 
INTERVIEWER: J] Good morning, Cacti Amigos! 2) 
SCP-065-J-1: Look, the contract we arranged with the 
studio clearly said that we had Mondays off. So just fuck 
off, alright? 
<END LOG> 


SCP-1212-J: Standards 


Item #: SCP-1212 
Object Class: Keter 


Special Containment Procedures: The original instance of 
SCP-1212 is to be contained in a standard containment locker at 
Site-12. All additional instances are to be contained in a Size- 1 23 
6 Containment Locker directly adjacent to the original instance's 
containment locker. Under no circumstances aside from deposition 
of new instances of SCP-1212 is the secondary containment locker 
to be opened. Once every three (3) weeks, one D-class is to be 
introduced to SCP-1212. Said D-class is to remain under 
observation until expiring, at which point the original instance will be 
separated and placed in its containment locker and the remaining 
instances stored in secondary containment. 


Note: Due to possible psychic effects discovered during staff 
interviews following Incident 1212-Delta, Containment and research 
on SCP-1212 is to be undertaken solely by Junior Researchers and 
other personnel who still think Able is "the coolest fucking 'SPC' we 
have," as they appear to be immune. 


Description: SCP-1212 is an indestructible ivory bracelet with 
diameter of 10 cm, 2 cm. thick, with two extremely sharp spikes 
directly polar to each other pointing outwards from the center. 
Inspection reveals that it is a single, unaltered piece of bone, leading 
researchers to believe that it is a notch from the spinal column of a 
currently unknown creature. SCP-1212 contains trace amounts of 
dark matter within the bone. It is unknown at this time whether this is 
the cause of its anomalous effects. 


When coming within one (1) meter of SCP-1212, subjects with no 
prior knowledge of its effects experience a strong compulsion to 

wear it. When placed on any limb of the body, SCP-1212's spikes 
will turn inward and the bracelet itself will contract to clamp tightly 


around the limb. Subjects will typically report extreme pain following 
the impalement of the limb, and at this point will attempt to remove 
SCP-1212. It is impossible to remove SCP-1212 following 
impalement. 


Over the course of three hours, the subject's spinal notches will 
become hollow, and widen to a diameter of 10 cm. Two spikes will 
grow on each notch. When three hours have elapsed, each spinal 
notch will detach itself from the subject by rotating at a speed of 
2000 rpm. All spinal notches are identical in appearance and effect 
to the original instance of SCP-1212, save for two details: 


¢ They contain no dark matter. 

* If the original instance of SCP-1212 is not worn within 28 days 
of last detachment, all instances will spontaneously teleport to 
a random limb of nearby persons. 


Incident 1212-Delta Aftermath Interview Log 


On //_ ,allinstances of SCP-1212 breached containment, 
resulting in a total of 3,128 fatalities. The following interview was 
conducted in the aftermath of the event between Dr. __, the 
Researcher who initially reported SCP-1212, and Drs. , , and 
Researcher __, all Level 4 researchers who had been in charge of 
the containment of SCP-1212, who had been out getting smoothies 
during the breach. 


Dr. _: Not only did the three of you ignore the clear, 
three-week deadline, but you out-and-out ignored the 
item completely! Why? 

Researcher _ : It's boring. 

Dr. :...what? 

Dr. : Yeah, it's just a cliche, indestructible, cursed 
magical item what kills you. That's it. 

Dr. _ : That's it?! 3,128 people died because of this 
SCP! 

Researcher ~ : Exactly! That's just cheap horror. Like, 
"Oooh, this thing is so dangerous. It killed so many 
people." No substance, no hook, nothing at all. Like, 
what's its backstory? How did we find it? 

Dr. : Huh? What are you talking about? We found it in