Subtitle: The Friendly Union of Man and 
Beast 


Type: Structure 


Description: Spawns the Babel Spire ona 
square of your choosing within line of sight. 


Nearby animals join your side, and gain +2 
attack. Those who do not are sacrificed to 
Babel. Aya aya aya blood blood blood. 


Card Title: Island Turtle 
Subtitle: Lazy Archipelago 
Type: Land 


Description: If you are at sea, this card 
spawns an Island Turtle to ferry you around. If 
you’re not, the turtle spawns anyway, and dies 
from dehydration. 


Card Title: City of the Gods 
Subtitle: Coming Soon To Your Home Town! 
Type: Structure 


Description: Spawns a haunted city ona 
square of your choosing within line of sight. 
Opponents entering City of the Gods have a 
high chance of being attacked by a+15 ATK / 
+12 DEF angry deity. 


Card Title: A Funny Little Statue 
Subtitle: ctrl+c ctrl+v 
Type: Trap 


Description: If indoors, creates an infinite 
maze that opponents can only exit with 
assistance from outside forces. If outdoors, the 
effect isn’t noticeable, but trust us when we 
say it’s really bad. 


Card Title: A Swedish Furniture Store 


Subtitle: Perfectly Normal 


Type: Trap 


Description: Spawns a friendly and 
welcoming department store. Players 
unfortunate enough to be inside the store 
when it opens will have to fight their way out, if 
they can get out at all. Bring your own 
instructions. 


+ Blue Cards 
Card Title: Director Tilda Moose 
Subtitle: Not sure how they got here. 
Type: Companion 


Description: Summons SCP Site-19 Director 
Moose to act as your companion. Is a literal 
moose. When riding Director Moose, gain +7 
DEF against memes and cognitive hazards. 


Stats: 5 ATK / 8 DEF /9 HP 
Card Title: A Sea Slug 
Subtitle: A Proper Gentleman 
Type: Companion 


Description: Spawns A Sea Slug to act as 
your companion. Wields an anti-material rifle. 
Talks a lot. Can summon a ghostly butler to do 
your bidding (with limitations!), but has a 10 
round cool-down. 


Stats: 13 ATK /2 DEF /4 HP 
Card Title: A Librarian 


Subtitle: A Wanderer 


Type: Companion 


Description: Summons a Librarian to act as 
your companion. Has innate knowledge about 
a vast array of creatures and realms. Might be 
able to read your opponent’s hands, who 
knows. If attacked, they'll flee back to their 
Library. Typical. 


Stats: 3 ATK /3 DEF /6 HP 

Card Title: A Very Loud Bird 
Subtitle: oh god make it stop 
Type: Companion 


Description: Summons some sort of awful 
eldritch abomination stuffed into the body of a 
small bird to act as your companion. 
Despicably loud. Can stun foes and entities, 
and commune with fellow anomalies. Unless 
otherwise protected, players who spend too 
much time in the presence of A Very Loud Bird 
will slowly lose their minds. 


Stats: 8 ATK / 4 DEF / 4 HP 

Card Title: Surf Rock Band 
Subtitle: Cruising The Starry Skies 
Type: Companion 


Description: Summons a ghostly Surf Rock 
Band to act as your companion. Provides your 
journey with cool evening tunes and casts a 
calming influence on everything you 
encounter. May also be able to commune with 
the Starfish. May also just smoke a /ot of 
weed. 


Stats: 5 ATK/5 DEF /6 HP 

+ Red Cards 
Card Title: Spear of the Nonbeliever 
Subtitle: What’s a King to a God? 
Type: Weapon, Ranged 


Description: A massive harpoon gun 
designed to make mortals of gods. Can only 
be used on Cosmic, Divine, or Supreme Divine 
beings. 


Stats: +20 ATK vs Gods / -5 SPD / -1 DEF 
Card Title: Buster Sword 

Subtitle: A BFS 

Type: Weapon, Melee 


Description: A big sword. Requires two hands 
to hold. Can cleft a man in twain with a single 
swing. Reduces stealth. Increases upper arm 
gains. 


Stats: +8 ATK / -3 SPD 

Card Title: K-Mart Katana 

Subtitle: Only The Finest Chinesium 
Type: Weapon, Melee 


Description: A cheap sword. Low damage, 
low attack speed. The first choice of suburban 
ninjas everywhere. Minus points to attack if 
wearing a fedora. 


Stats: -5 ATK /-5 SPD / Fedora Bonus -1 ATK 


Notes: SCP-423 seems reluctant to portray itself as either the 
perpetrator or the victim of racism. 


Date: / / 

Test Material: Slaughterhouse-Five, by Kurt Vonnegut. The novel is 
a semi-autobiographical account of Vonnegut's experience as an 
American prisoner of war during the 1945 bombing of Dresden, 
Germany during World War II. 


Results: All mention of Kurt Vonnegut within the novel, excluding 
within the foreword, is altered to describe SCP-423 (i.e. "That was I. 
That was me. That was the author of this book." Was changed to 
read "That was Fred. That was not me. That was not the author of 
this book."). 


Notes: As Kurt Vonnegut himself was not mentioned for most of the 
novel, he could technically be described as a "minor" character. 


Date: / / 
Test Material: The Outsiders by S. E. Hinton. 


Results: A new member of the "Socs" accompanies Robert during 
the scene in which Robert is murdered. When Ponyboy wakes up 
after having attempted to be drowned, Johnny mentions that 
someone "unimpressivly handsome" had introduced himself as 
Fred, before punching Johnny in the face, then "running outta there 
like lightning." After returning to the journal, SCP-423 remarked, "1 
know that you guys record this, and | didn't want to ruin the ending 
for anyone who hadn't read the book." It is to be noted that at the 
end of the book, [REDACTED]. 


Date: / / 

Test Material: Fred's Story by Researcher Torrez, a small novella 
written specifically to test SCP-423's abilities. The novella is set ina 
fantasy kingdom whose inhabitants are all beautiful women - when 
the kingdom is attacked by a demonic force, the kingdom's queen 
creates a ritual to summon a hero from another dimension to save 
them. The hero is never given a name, but it is mentioned that he is 


Card Title: Temporal Tinkering 


Subtitle: For When You Need A Few More 
Seconds 


Type: Ability, Temporal 


Description: Allows the user to wield the great 
and terrible cosmic power of time, in very small 
increments. Users may return up to 10 
seconds into the past. Expires after three 
uses. Paradoxes not included. 


Card Title: A Gun That Shoots People 
Subtitle: “Shoots” “People” 
Type: Weapon, Ranged 


Description: A remarkably powerful .50BMG. 
Definitely not something you want to use 
yourself. Give it as a gift to an enemy, or 
anyone else you'd like to see spend the last 
few seconds of their life as a tiny, remarkably 
dense, screaming projectile. Expires after use. 


Stats: +19 ATK / +5 ACC 

Card Title: Intro to Memetics 
Subtitle: The Beginner’s Course 
Type: Ability, Memetic 


Description: Provides the user with innate 
knowledge of very simple anomalous memes. 
If used correctly, can be really annoying. If 
used incorrectly, can be even more annoying. 


Card Title: Dr. Mann’s Six-Shooter 


Subtitle: Ole Reliable 


Type: Weapon, Ranged 


Description: A revolver used by infamous 
Foundation doctor Everett Mann. Bonus to 
accuracy. Bonus to damage vs. undead. 
Bonus to lunacy. 


Stats: +10 ATK / +3 ACC 


Card Title: Intro to Unethical Business 
Practices, 5th Edition 


Subtitle: A MC&D Educational Product 
Type: Ability, Memetic 


Description: Anyone holding this book 
receives a +3 bonus to smooth-talking, 
negotiations, salesmanship, and swindling. 
Side effects include greasy combed-back hair 
and cheap suits. 


Card Title: The Infinity Gun19 
Subtitle: An Abomination 
Type: Weapon, Ranged 


Description: A gun made of a god bound by 
the shredded souls of nine innocents. Instantly 
annihilates one being or artifact anywhere on 
the board, so long as the user is able to 
describe it. Expires after use. 


Stats: +00 ATK / -50 Morality 
+ Orange Cards 
Card Title: DEER 


Subtitle: God From The Stars 


Type: Anomaly, Unknown, Supreme Divine 


Description: An ancient and mysterious 
creature that fell from the stars and broke the 
masquerade. Incredibly powerful. 


Stats: 34 ATK / 28 DEF / 40 HP 
Card Title: Technicolor Dream Goat 


Subtitle: Goat With All The Colors Of The 
Wind 


Type: Anomaly, Sentient, Animal 


Description: A multicolor, ethereal goat. Said 
to fill the dreams of its victims with incessant 
bleating. Impervious to physical attacks. 


Stats: 2 ATK /3 DEF /4 HP 
Card Title: Mr. God 

Subtitle: Has A Himself Complex 
Type: Anomaly, Sentient, Divine 


Description: An old man with a penchant for 

the dramatic. Hasn’t worn anything other than 
sandals for a thousand years. Needs to get off 
his high horse. 


Stats: 15 ATK / 8 DEF / 23 HP 

Card Title: A Bundle Of Golems 
Subtitle: The World’s Cutest Chemicals 
Type: Anomaly, Sentient, Construct 


Description: Little statue people made of 
elements. Tend to engage in shenanigans. 
Legend has it they unite once a year to forma 


powerful Anart Mecha, but this is unconfirmed. 
Stats: 5 ATK / 8 DEF /5 HP 

Card Title: A Very Angry Star 

Subtitle: | Mean, Really Very Angry 

Type: Anomaly, Sentient, Divine 


Description: A furious ball of plasma and gas 
with a specific hatred for Planet Earth. The 
reason for its rage is uncertain, though it is 
known that Alto Clef owes it $23.50. 


Stats: 24 ATK / 18 DEF / 20 HP 
Card Title: Corrosion Man 

Subtitle: The Snatcher 

Type: Anomaly, Sentient, Humanoid 


Description: A ghastly former soldier turned 
into a living nightmare. Steals children for 
probably horrible reasons. Lives in an attic 
above the Darkness Between Dimensions. 


Stats: 9 ATK /9 DEF /9 HP 
Card Title: LONGCORG 
Subtitle: Stretch Doggo 

Type: Anomaly, Sentient, Animal 


Description: An immensely long corgi. Used 
for public transportation. A very good boy. 


Stats: 3 ATK /5 DEF / 18 HP 


Card Title: Wretched Bovine Heart 


Subtitle: Beating In The Darkness 
Type: Anomaly, Sentient, Biological 


Description: A demon possessed by speed 
incarnate. Horrifying and unrelenting. All 
entities nearby lose -2 to DEF against 
psychological threats. 


Stats: 17 ATK /5 DEF /6 HP 

Card Title: The Serpent 

Subtitle: The Source of Knowledge 

Type: Anomaly, Sentient, Supreme Divine 


Description: Tricked Adam El Asem into 
eating from the Tree of Knowledge, freeing 
itself from its prison. Legends say the 
Wanderer’s Library is built on its back. Thinks 
it knows everything. Probably does. 


Stats: 10 ATK / 35 DEF / 45 HP 
Card Title: SCP-173 In A Sombrero 
Subtitle: Ay Caramba 

Type: Anomaly, Construct 


Description: A statue in a sombrero. Gave up 
a life of snapping necks to pursue its dream of 
dancing. Nearby entities may be overcome by 
the urge to dance. 


Stats: 4 ATK / 9 DEF / 8 HP 
+ Yellow Cards 
Card Title: A Little Insurgency 


Description: Your friends in the Insurgency 


carry out a coup on one of your rivals. To the 
victor goes the spoils! I’m sure they won't take 
it personally. 


Effect: Receive all of the earnings of a random 
player. 


Card Title: Research Grant 


Description: You are offered a grant for your 
contributions to academia. Congratulations! 
Now hurry up and spend it before the 
Foundation scoops you up. 


Effect: Receive $300. 

Card Title: Lost Aztec Gold 

Description: You discover a bounty of gold 
from a ruined civilization! Enjoy your blood 
money! 

Effect: Receive $300. 


Card Title: Business Deal 


Description: You negotiate a deal between 
The Factory and Dr. Wondertainment, and 
earn big dividends for your work! 


Effect: Receive $400. 
Card Title: Mr. Money’s Jackpot Extravaganza 


Description: Mr. Money is about to make you 
Mr. Wealthy! 


Effect: Receive $5000. 
+ White Cards 


Card Title: Elixir 


Description: You get ahold of the Overseer’s 
Secret Stuff. You are healed! 


Effect: When used, completely heals the 
player of all ailments. 


Card Title: Safe Passageway 


Description: In a stroke of good luck, you 
discover a road untouched by danger! 


Effect: Allows a player to bypass a dangerous 
environmental hazard unharmed. 


Card Title: Promotion 


Description: Your efforts do not go unnoticed! 
You are promoted to Senior Junior 
Researcher! 


Effect: Player gains a permanent +2 to ATK 
and +3 to DEF. 


Card Title: Brushed By The Starfish 


Description: The Cosmic Starfish brushes 
against you with one of its Five arms. You are 
empowered! 


Effect: Player receives +10 ATK / +10 DEF / 
+8 SPD / +10 HP for three turns. 


Card Title: Angel of Mercy 
Description: You are resurrected! 


Effect: If a player is killed while holding this 
card, the player is instantly returned to half 
health. 


+ Black Cards 


Card Title: Fuck This One Guy Specifically 


Description: Someone has a grudge! The 
Sun God Nergal punches you! Ouch! 


Effect: The player is punched by a Supreme 
Divine being, and dies. 


Card Title: Containment Breach 


Description: Oh no! All of your contained 
anomalies are loose! What a disastrous 
circumstance! 


Effect: Any contained anomalies return to the 
gameboard. 


Card Title: Friend or Foe 


Description: Your companion betrays you, 
seeking glory only for themselves! 


Effect: Any companions become hostile to the 
player. 


Card Title: Consolidation" 


Description: A deal is signed. The Foundation 
dissolves! Only the Coalition remains! 


Effect: Removes the MR. CONTAINMENT 
and MR. FOUNDATION win conditions. 


Card Title: —_(+*/*sees/se/e) 
Description: Bad luck, hombre. 
Effect: Player is killed. 12 

+ Purple Cards 
Card Title: Mr. Moon 


Subtitle: Waxing and Waning 
Type: Wondertainment 


Description: The great and terrible Mr. Moon! 
Disrupts the tides and summons werewolves 
across the map! Not made of cheese! Maybe 
made of cheese! 


Stats: 19 ATK / 20 DEF / 20 HP 


Addendum 3301.4: Memorandum Regarding SCP-3301 


From:: Dr. Tilda Moose, Director, Site-19 

To: 3301 Research Team 

CC: Ethics Committee Liaison, Director Council Liaison, 
Classification Committee Liaison 


Last night, one week since the last playthrough of 
SCP-3301, a small shipment of these games were 
discovered on a truck destined for a toy store in 
Wisconsin. We began a game immediately after 
discovering these games, and received a note through 
our game board thanking us for our continued 
playtesting. The anomalous games were promptly 
removed before they could be viewed by a larger 
audience, but this was still too close of a call. 


Truthfully, we don’t know how they're getting all of this 
information. INFOSEC teams have advised me that 
these were likely warning shots, something innocuous 
that could be easily detected and quickly removed, but a 
notice that additional measures may be taken if we don't 
comply. 


After consulting with our security teams, and members of 
the Site Director Council, we’ve decided to do just that. 

In a break from our typical mantra, access restrictions to 
SCP-3301 have been reduced considerably, and the 
object has been reclassified as Safe. So far as we can 


tell, this is a legitimate show of good faith, with no 
malicious intent. For some reason, Dr. Wondertainment 
has provided us with something fun, and wants us to 
play it. In this case, we'll do just that. 


Our protocol for this object does not reflect a change in 
our policy regarding using anomalous objects for 
recreational purposes. Nor does it reflect a change in our 
relationship with the group of interest known as Dr. 
Wondertainment. For all intents and purposes, this new 
protocol is the containment procedure for this object, and 
this object only. 


-Moose 
Addendum 3301.5: SCP-3301 Testing and Gameplay Logs 
+ Access Log 


In keeping with proper Foundation testing 
protocols, all instances of SCP-3301’s active 
state are to be recorded for analysis and 
archival. The following is an example of proper 
test log format, and should be used in all future 
instances of test logging. 


SCP-3301 Test and Gameplay Log: 
Log ID: 3301|001