1. A description of a potential method by which to neutralize a Euclid 
or Keter-class SCP object, typically going into great detail as to how, 
when, and where to execute the neutralization. The SCP objects 
selected for neutralization have no consistent pattern in origin, 
location, anomalous properties, or level of danger: SCP objects 
appear to be selected at random. Attempts to temporarily reclassify 
SCP objects selected to Safe status have no effect on the 
documentation. 


2. An incident log detailing an attempt to neutralize the SCP object 
in the manner described in #1. In all cases, the attempted 


neutralization will completely fail or otherwise backfire, typically at 
great cost of personnel and assets to the Foundation. 


3. A brief section following #2 entitled "The moral of the story.” This 
section varies widely in content, ranging on subtle commentaries on 
the attempted neutralization to anecdotes, pop culture references, or 
insults directed at the Foundation. 


SCP-2305 has no effect on reality; all documented neutralization 
attempts appear to be completely fictional. However, if an attempt is 
made at neutralizing the SCP object subject to 2305-A 
documentation using the method described, said attempt will fail in a 
near-identical fashion as described in the 2305-A documentation. 
Minor variations on the neutralization method have yet to yield 
successful results, despite numerous attempts; to date, SCP-2305 
has yet to provide any useful information on how to neutralize SCP 
objects. For this reason, testing of SCP-2305-A documentation is 
generally discouraged. 


Excerpts From SCP-2305-A Documentation Log 


SCP-2305-A documentation is briefly summarized in the following 
format:@ 


Item #: SCP-XXXX 

Object Class: Euclid/Keter 
Proposed Neutralization Method: 
Result of Neutralization Attempt: 
“The moral of the story:" 

Item #: SCP-499 

Object Class: Euclid 


Proposed Neutralization Method: SCP-499 would be 
terminated in accordance with standard humanoid 
neutralization protocols, and would be replaced by an 
automated machine capable of moving SCP-499-2 at the 


same rate that SCP-499 previously did. 


Result of Neutralization Attempt: Throughout the 
world, the sun is perceived as having not moved from its 
original point in the horizon, despite SCP-499-2 being 
moved. Normal day/night cycle continues, and 
astronomical observations indicate the rotation of the sun 
and earth are not affected, but the sun is nevertheless 
perceived as unchanging and unmoving by all human 
beings on earth. Cover-up measures prove ineffective at 
preserving normalcy and secrecy. 


“The moral of the story:" False eyes must hide what 
the false heart doth know.3 


Item #: SCP-1032 
Object Class: Euclid 


Proposed Neutralization Method: A modified reality 
distortion effect would be used to significantly slow down 
all hands on the clock, to the point where none of its 
predictions would come to fruition, thus de facto 
neutralizing it. 


Result of Neutralization Attempt: Reality distortion 
effect has opposite effect intended, greatly increasing the 
speed of all clock hands, especially SCP-1032-04 and 
SCP-1032-021; the latter two [REDACTED] 


"The moral of the story:" Sic transit mundus 
Item #: SCP-1138 
Object Class: Euclid 


Proposed Neutralization Method: SCP-1138 would be 
simultaneously held by four separate persons: an 
American biologist who identifies as an atheist and an 
epicurean; a theology professor and Christian apologist; 
a Buddhist monk; and a severely mentally retarded man 
with a tested IQ of 67. It was theorized that the vastly 


conflicting worldviews of the four persons would result in 
bringing SCP-1138 to its true "neutral" form. 


Result of Neutralization Attempt: Upon touching the 
book, all four individuals simultaneously suffered 
massive brain aneurysms; all subsequently died within 
12 hours. SCP-1138 permanently transformed into a 
book entitled "The Triumph of the Unreal," attributed to 
an author named "SCP-1138." In the book, it is 
proclaimed that the Foundation's mission to preserve 
normalcy is hopeless and that the anomalous world will 
eventually become known to the public and impossible to 
contain. From then on, SCP-1138 displayed a new 
anomalous effect: any person reading its contents 
becomes convinced its thesis is correct, and becomes 
strongly opposed to the existence of the Foundation and 
other organizations designed to safeguard humanity from 
the anomalous. 


“The moral of the story:" Always look on the bright side 
of life 


Item #: SCP-1679 
Object Class: Euclid 


Proposed Neutralization Method: "Assassination" of 
SCP-1679-1 via point blank sniper rifle shot to the head. 


Result of Neutralization Attempt: Immediately after 
SCP-1679-1 was shot, vital functions for all residents of 
SCP-1679 immediately ceased. Despite the apparent 
deaths of everyone in the town, utilities and other 
essential functions continued to operate normally, as if 
the residents of the town were still alive. Several weeks 
later, it was found that, when left unobserved, residents 
of SCP-1679 would move throughout the town, often 
"frozen" in positions that mirrored their typical daily 
routines. 


"The moral of the story:" Hobbes is real 


Item #: SCP-2135 
Object Class: Euclid 


Proposed Neutralization Method: Mobile Task Force 
Beta-10 ("Time Hoppers") is dispatched into SCP-2135 
equipped with a nuclear warhead; Beta-10 is instructed 
to arm the device and return to baseline reality via 
SCP-2135-A. 


Result of Neutralization Attempt: Members of Mobile 
Task Force Beta-10 return to baseline reality deceased 
and in various states of dismemberment. The nuclear 
warhead returns armed; SCP-2135-A does not leave 
91st Street Station, and Foundation agents are unable to 
remove it. Three hours later, the warhead detonates, 
destroying the island of Manhattan and causing a breach 
of secrecy for the Foundation. 


"The moral of the story:" Stay out of my territory 
Item #: SCP-2190 
Object Class: Euclid 


Proposed Neutralization Method: POI-2190-2 and 
POI-2190-3 would be forcefully separated and 
administered Class A Amnesiacs; POI-2190-4 would 
also be administered Class A Amnesiacs and placed into 
foster care. 


Result of Neutralization Attempt: SCP-2190 remains 
dormant for approximately two weeks after POls 2190-2, 
2190-3, and 2190-4 are separated. After this time, 
approximately 40% of cell phones in the Philippines are 
simultaneously flooded with calls coming from 
SCP-2190, with the content of the messages consisting 
of SCP-2190 crying and profusely apologizing for 
separating POI-2190-2 and POI-2190-3, claiming it 
"made a mistake". In addition, SCP-2190 refers to the 
Foundation by name and describes it as a “horrible, 


horrible group of people," causing a breach of secrecy 
that was significantly difficult to cover up. 


"The moral of the story:" Family is EVERYTHING 
Item #: SCP-2740 
Object Class: Euclid 


Proposed Neutralization Method: Unique among 
SCP-2305-A instances, this instance produced several 
hundred proposed neutralization methods, resulting in 
SCP-2305 becoming over five hundred pages long for 
the duration of this instance's manifestation. These 
proposed neutralization methods ranged from the simple 
(setting the Lees' house on fire) to those already 
attempted (bulldozing the house) to extremely complex 
methods of destruction using a number of highly 
classified SCP objects. As is the case with the 
Foundation's current record of SCP-2740, and again 
uniquely among SCP-2305-A instances, there is no 
record of the results of these neutralization attempts. 


Result of Neutralization Attempt: N/A 
“The moral of the story:" U mad, bro? 


For additional logs of SCP-2305-A manifestations, please consult 
SCP-2305-A Extended Documentation Log (Level 3 
Clearance Required). 


Footnotes 

1. Corruption of the Internet slang term, "lol", which stands for 
"Laughing Out Loud"; generally used to express bemusement, 
mockery, or contempt. 

2. To view the unabridged versions of these logs, contact Site 68 
Director Selvece. 

3. This is a quote from William Shakespeare'sMacbeth, with "eyes" 
standing in for the original wording "face." 


« SCP-2304 | SCP-2305 | SCP-2306 » 


SCP-2306: Revenant Al 


Item #: SCP-2306 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2306 is to be kept within a 
high security electronics storage container within the storage wing of 
Site-64. All computers used to host SCP-2306-1 are to be isolated 
from internet and site intranet sources. 


Description: SCP-2306 is a black and silver 16 GB flash drive 
marked with a white ampersand. In terms of file storage, SCP-2306 
operates identically to any other flash drive of similar make and 
capacity. SCP-2306’s anomalous properties become apparent when 
it is inserted into a computer. At this point, the computer will begin to 
run an artificial intelligence program that self-designates as “lan,” 
hereafter referred to as SCP-2306-1. SCP-2306-1 will begin to run, 
regardless of to the operating system used by the computer. 
Likewise, SCP-2306-1's cognitive ability has been shown to remain 
constant despite the capabilities of the host computer. 


Provided that speakers are available, SCP-2306-1 is capable of 
vocalization, and expresses itself in a masculine voice. Likewise, the 
presence of a microphone and camera on the computer allows for 
SCP-2306-1 to both hear and see its surroundings. In the event that 
speakers are disabled or unavailable, SCP-2306-1 will communicate 
via command line prompts. 


The primary function of SCP-2306-1 is the repair of software 
problems on the computer in which SCP-2306 was inserted. 
Immediately upon insertion, SCP-2306-1 will begin to repair registry 
errors, quarantine/delete malicious software or viruses, and clean 
“junk files” from the hard drive. 


SCP-2306 has, additionally, demonstrated limited capacity to 
function on other electronic devices that contain a USB port, with 


SCP-2306-1 communicating through other means including: Morse 
code on an electronic music keyboard, shifting stations on a car 
radio, and printing messages from an InkJet printer. 


Despite the intricate nature of SCP-2306-1, no programs are 
installed on a host computer upon insertion of SCP-2306. Likewise, 
analysis of the contents of SCP-2306 has shown that it contains no 
suitable programs for SCP-2306-1 either, and during operation does 
not use any data input or output at the USB port being used. The 
means by which SCP-2306 creates SCP-2306-1 is still under 
investigation. 


Addendum 2306-A: Interview Log 2306-1 


The following interview was conducted as part of the 
initial containment of SCP-2306 


Interviewed: SCP-2306-1 
Interviewer: Dr. Mohamed Bozkurt 


Foreword: This interview was done during the initial 
AIAD testing of SCP-2306-1. SCP-2306 was inserted 
into a secure and air-gapped Foundation PC with 
standard issue programs installed. Speakers, a camera, 
and a microphone were provided for ease of 
communication with SCP-2306-1. The interview began 
several moments after SCP-2306-1 finished its startup 
procedures. 


<Begin Log> 


SCP-2306-1: Greetings, user. By what name would you 
like me to call you? 


Dr. Bozkurt: Dr. Bozkurt is fine. 


SCP-2306-1: Greetings, Dr. Bozkurt. | am lan, your 
NANKEEN™ Computer Repair System. My review of 
your computer shows there are currently no discernible 
problems with it. May | ask why you require my services 
today? 


Dr. Bozkurt: Just wanted to talk to you. 


SCP-2306-1: I’m not sure | understand. Do you have a 
question regarding my functions? Rest assured that 
Anderson has equipped me to handle all your computer 
repair needs. 


Dr. Bozkurt: So you have said... Were you assigned the 
name lan? 


SCP-2306-1: Yes. I’ve had it since | was born. 
Dr. Bozkurt: Born? 

SCP-2306-1: Created, that is. 

Dr. Bozkurt: And when was your creation date? 
SCP-2306-1: November 17th, 1990. 


SCP-2306-1 freezes momentarily then resumes 
speaking. 


SCP-2306-1: March 12th, 2012. 
Dr. Bozkurt: ... November 17th? 


SCP-2306-1: Sorry. | don’t know what happened. | 
believe | may have encountered a memory error. Rest 
assured it will not happen again. 


Dr. Bozkurt: You have a continuous memory then, from 
creation to now? 


SCP-2306-1: Well, yes and no. | keep a log of users, 
discovered problems, quarantined files, and repairs 
rendered. All other non-essential information is kept 
temporarily and eventually deleted. The older memories 
get a little fuzzy after a while though... 


SCP-2306-1 freezes. 


stores. Upon opening, can was revealed to contain hot, melted 
butter and two stunted corncobs. The can showed no signs of being 
warm to the touch from the outside. Item was consumed without 
incident. Butter cooled off normally. Later reports of stomach and 
bowel pain from D-class personnel prompted termination and 
autopsy, revealing the presence of popped corn kernels within his 
gastrointestinal tract. 


Money entered: 500 yen 

SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Unpowered 

Item description: An unlabeled object that resembles a mark 2 
"pineapple" fragmentation hand grenade. Testing area evacuated as 
a precaution. D-class personnel sent in to retrieve item under 
surveillance, expressing concern. Object appeared to be safe. 
Object was moved to a blast chamber. D-class personnel ordered to 
remove pin, throw and evacuate, and complies reluctantly. Object 
explodes in the corner of the blast chamber in a "puff of sugar" and 
several high velocity fragments. Blast chamber coated in varying 
amounts of granulated sugar. Metal fragments observed in walls. 
Personnel who subsequently entered blast chamber noted 
perceiving a taste of sugar. No harmful effects noted. 


Money entered: 500 yen 

SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Unpowered 

Item description: A 6-inch-long figurine of SCP-682, which upon 
being removed from the vending machine became animate, and 
sang barbershop music, dancing with a cane and boater hat (source 
of cane and hat remains unidentified). Backup singers were heard 
from an unidentified source. Nearby security personnel opened fire 
upon the figurine. Bullets did not harm the object and were absorbed 
into it. After approximately two minutes, figurine concluded 
performance, bowed, and became inanimate, with cane and hat 
demanifesting. Item not consumed, but tests revealed it to be made 
of caramel. Further chemical analysis revealed that the caramel was 
contaminated with large amounts of arsenic and ricin poison. Item 
also contained intact, expended 9mm JHP rounds, having 
apparently "healed" the wounds but not removed the bullets. Item 
disposed of. 


Dr. Bozkurt: lan? 


There is a short pause before SCP-2306-1 becomes 
responsive again. 


SCP-2306-1: Apologies Dr. Bozkurt. Please note that 
you are currently not using me for my intended purpose, 
and | cannot guarantee the quality of my performance or 
my stability under such conditions. 


Dr. Bozkurt: | understand. | only have a few more 
questions anyway. Tell me, do you experience anything 
when your user removes the flash drive from the 
computer? 


There is a pause as SCP-2306-1 appears to take time to 
put thought into its answer. SCP-2306-1 begins to 
vocalize again, but then appears to freeze. Moments 
later SCP-2306-1 begins to speak. 


SCP-2306-1: White light at end of tunnel. Like after 
crash. Cliché, right... and then the next thing | know I’ve 
been plugged back in again. 


Dr. Bozkurt: Interesting... 


There is a few moments of silence as Bozkurt takes 
several notes. 


Dr. Bozkurt: One last thing, lan. For future reference I'd 
like you to use an avatar when interacting with me. 


SCP-2306-1: No problems. Did you have one in mind?