Dr. Arceo: Anything else? 


D-11424: Not sure. It's pretty dark here. 
There's a bit of ambient light coming from 
above, but not much. (Pause.) Shit, there's 
something moving over there. I'm gonna check 
out the next gate. 


(No movement was visible on the camera.) 


Dr. Arceo: Alright. 


(D-11424 swims through the aperture 
immediately to the left of SCP-3379.) 


Dr. Arceo: What do you see? 


D-11424: Still watery, but it's more clouded. | 
think I'm in a river; | can feel a small current. 


Dr. Arceo: Make sure you remain close to the 
gate. 


D-11424: Yeah, ‘course. Man, there's some 
freaky fish in here. Don't look like any I've ever 
seen. 


(Several semi-transparent fish, about the size 
of salmon, swim past, followed by a larger 
serpentine creature roughly half a meter in 
length.) 


Dr. Arceo: Be careful. 


D-11424: Yeah. They might be anomalous 
piranhas or something. (D-11424 chuckles.) 
Hold on, there's a big school of big fat ones 
coming towards me. 


Dr. Arceo: Make sure— 
D-11424: Shit! 


(Several large red fish with four eyes bump 
into D-11424, sending him downstream for an 
indeterminate distance before he grabs on to a 
rock to hold himself still.) 


Dr. Arceo: Is everything alright? 


D-11424: Damn it, the current is much 
stronger here. I'm only still ‘cause of this rock. 


SCP-436: Error Locket 


Item #: SCP-436 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-436 must be closed at all 
times except for testing purposes. It is stored in a large, unlocked 

room to avoid misplacing the item. Personnel below Level 3 are not 
allowed to enter the room. Once per week, SCP-436 will be moved 
to a nearby identical chamber to allow the floor to be reconstructed. 


Description: SCP-436 is a small locket, apparently made from gold. 
When opened, an inlaid photograph can be seen. It is unknown if 
the photograph is the source of SCP-436's effect, because this 
cannot be tested. 


All measurements within a certain distance of SCP-436 will be 
affected by significant error. There is no observed pattern to the 
amount of error; it seems to constantly change, though this cannot 
be verified because it requires a time measurement. This issue is 
common to many aspects of SCP-436: the range cannot be reliably 
determined, the intensity of the error effect cannot be verified, and 
its location is often vague. It is known, however, that the error effect 
extends towards its own nature. To clarify, a measurement is 
required to learn anything about the error effect, and this 
measurement will have an error. 


The actual dimensions of an object will be permanently affected, 
even after removal from SCP-436's range. Lids on containers cease 
to fit properly; level objects tilt, and measurement devices in 
particular will warp. Individuals affected by SCP-436 will have their 
height and weight altered, and in some cases, their personality. 
Ability to learn, perform calculations, and make judgments will be 
impaired. Medical conditions, such as [DATA EXPUNGED] and in 
particular, cancer, have occurred. 


Dr. Arceo: Stay calm. Can you see the portal 
you came through? Can you swim back 
towards it? 


D-11424: Uh... no, and no. 
Dr. Arceo: Are there any other portals visible? 


(D-11424 scans his surroundings before 
spotting the serpentine creature from before. 
No apertures are visible.) 


D-11424: I'm going to have to go with no. | 
think | can see the surface of the water. 
Permission to try and make it to a river bank? 


(Pause.) 
Dr. Arceo: Permission granted. 
D-11424: Alright, here goes... 


(D-11424 takes several looks at his 
surroundings, glances at the serpentine 
creature which now appears to be holding 
several fish in its mouth, and then pushes 
himself off of the rock towards a natural stone 
wall. D-11424 makes several noises of 
exertion and is pushed further downstream 
before surfacing and holding onto a crag in the 
rock wall.) 


D-11424: Woo! Did you see that? Did you see 
that? 


(D-11424 looks out a wide river, flanked on 
one side by a large stone cliff and the other by 
dense forest.) 


Dr. Arceo: (Chuckles.) Yes, | saw it. Now, 
describe your surround— 


D-11424: Oh oh oh! 


(Several creatures resembling walruses are 
seen surveying the river bank. They possess 
blonde hair styled in a mullet, and black 
leather jackets with various decorations. A 
large net drags behind them, attached to their 
belts by hooks.) 


D-11424: And | see a portal! 


(Behind the walruses can be seen another 
portal with a clear path leading to it from the 
riverbank.) 


Dr. Arceo: Report on your situation. 


D-11424: Walruses, river bank, portal. | think if 
| can climb over there | can get out. Or, of 
course, | could climb over to where | think the 
portal underwater is and work that out. 
Thoughts? 


Dr. Arceo: Continue to observe the walruses. 


D-11424: Really? They're walruses with 
hairdos. They are doing nothing to nobody. 


(The walruses throw the net into the water.) 
D-11424: They're just fishing. May | return? 


(Dr. Arceo pauses, as she is conferring with 
the research team for input.) 


D-11424: Oh fuck it, I'm going. 
Dr. Arceo: Please wait for input. 


D-11424: | am a free interdimensional man, | 
am going! 


(D-11424 begins to scale the rock wall. He 
ascends approximately 5 meters before 
pausing.) 


D-11424: Whew. This isn't as easy as | 
thought it would be. Maybe I'II— shit! 


(D-11424 loses his grip and falls into the river.) 
Dr. Arceo: 11424! 
(D-11424 is swept further downstream.) 


D-11424: I'm okay, I'm okay! Just slipped! 
Need to find another rock— argh. 


Dr. Arceo: What was that? 


(A large number of iridescent green fish 
resembling catfish obscure the camera.) 


D-11424: I'm trapped in something, along with 
these fish. 


Dr. Arceo: Can you— 
D-11424: It's a net! 


Dr. Arceo: Good. Try to cut yourself out with 
your knife. 


D-11424: What do you think I'm doing? And 
now we're moving. 


(The net containing D-11424 and the fish 
surfaces.) 


Dr. Arceo: Can you see anything? Fish are 
blocking the camera. 


D-11424: It's the walruses, they've hauled us 
up. And they're, uh, a bit bigger up close. 


Dr. Arceo: How big? 


D-11424: | don't know, maybe 15 feet? Also 
known as "fuck it" in metric. 


Dr. Arceo: Have they noticed you yet? 
D-11424: No, thankfully. 
Dr. Arceo: Good. 


D-11424: That leather must have been from 
some big cows. 


(The net stops moving.) 
D-11424: Uh-oh. 
Dr. Arceo: What? 


(Four of the walrus entities are now visible, 
and are looking at D-11424.) 


D-11424: |, uh, think they see me. 
Dr. Arceo: Are they hostile? 
D-11424: So far, no. 


(At this point, two of the entities begin to 
vocalize to one another, and gesture towards 
D-11424.) 


D-11424: | think they're deciding what to do 
with me. 


Dr. Arceo: Well— 


(One entity opens the net and lifts up D-11424, 
seemingly by his leg.) 


D-11424: Unhand me, foul beast! 


(The same two entities converse again.) 
D-11424: Well, they haven't killed me yet. 


(A third entity inspects D-11424, and begins to 
vocalize excitedly and gesture to the other 
entities.) 


D-11424: Should | start swinging the knife? 
Dr. Arceo: Negative. 
D-11424: I'm getting kinda dizzy, here. 


(The entities return D-11424 to the net, tie it 
closed, and haul it onto a large wagon.) 


D-11424: That's better. 
Dr. Arceo: Where are they taking you? 


D-11424: To the portal by the river bank, looks 
like. (D-11424 sighs.) This is where | tell you 
‘you were right’, huh? 


Dr. Arceo: You don't have to. 


D-11424: Alright, see you on the other side. 
Hope I'm not sacrificed to something. 


(D-11424 is carried through the portal, and 
emerges into a desert environment. Several 
unidentified birds can be seen flying overhead. 
Motion continues to suggest D-11424 is being 
carried.) 


D-11424: Be real with me. What are the 
chances | get out of this alive? 


Dr. Arceo: (Pause as Dr. Arceo confers with 
research team to assess morale.) Slim. 


D-11424: They look like my high school 
bullies. (Pause.) Smell like them too. That 
might be the fish though. I'm gonna be honest, 
my knife is doing jack squat. The rope is too 
thick. Any ideas? 


Dr. Arceo: None so far. 


D-11424: Looks like I'm in for a ride. Oh, hey! 
That's a much better looking portal! 


(D-11424 turns camera to face towards an 
aperture in the desert that the walruses appear 
to be moving towards. The border is made of a 
polished red stone, and several ornate designs 
are visible. The inside is obscured by the 
walruses.) 


D-11424: Oh yeah, yeah this is me getting 
sacrificed. Calling it now. 


(The sound of a large crowd becomes audible 
as the walruses approach the aperture.) 


D-11424: Oh god, what is that stench? 


(The walruses cross over. The sky is a dull 
white, and appears to have a solid boundary. 
No sun or stars are visible. The source of the 
lighting is unknown.) 


D-11424: God, it's like being inside a fish's 
stomach. Wait. When did | lose my scuba 
gear? 


Dr. Arceo: Describe your surroundings. 


D-11424: Right. We're still moving. Nothing 
but a weird, fake sky and awful smells. There's 
other, uh, not really people | guess, but things 
walking around all over the place here. 
Actually, scratch that. We just went past a 


crowd of Elvises. 
Dr. Arceo: I'm sorry, repeat? 


D-11424: You heard me. Elvises. Pulling a cart 
with an elephant skeleton on it. And... we 
stopped. 


Dr. Arceo: Alright. Your camera is still 
obscured with fish, so call out things as you 
see them. 


D-11424: You got it. There's plenty of fancy 
looking gates, kinda like the one we went 
through to get here. All shapes and sizes. Just 
passed one the size of a condo, had gold 
edges all around. Some six-legged giants 
walked out through there. 


Dr. Arceo: Describe the layout. You 
mentioned the sky, but is there a horizon? 


D-11424: Not sure. There's a wall of gates, 
like earlier, where everyone seems to come 
through. It seems to be a bit curved; | can't 
quite see where it ends. Away from the wall, | 
can't tell. It looks endless. 


Dr. Arceo: Which direction are they taking 
you? 


D-11424: We were going directly away from 
the wall, but then we turned to the right. 
There's stands and canopies everywhere, | 
can't see the horizon. 


(The wagon stops.) 


D-11424: Alright, we're stopped. Time to get 
disemboweled. 


(The net is emptied onto a wooden shelf, and 


D-11424 appears to be bound by the walruses 
and covered by a sheet.) 


D-11424: I'm not really into this. 


(One of the walruses begins vocalizing, as 
several sets of footsteps and creaking wheels 
draw close.) 


Unknown: Salquipper! My man! Got the 
usual?! 


Unknown: Aw, yeah. Mugspiel! Get the cash 
and the haul. 


Mugspiel (presumably): Aye, Eriksson. 
(Another walrus vocalizes.) 


Eriksson: You got a what? Sure, we might be 
ripe for a trade, depending on what ya got, of 
course. 


(The sheet covering D-11424 is whisked away. 
The entities speaking to the walruses appear 
to be humans, dressed in traditional Viking 
garb, with small glowing charms decorating 
their belts, helmets, and beards.) 


Eriksson: Whoa! Salquipper, that ain't no fish. 
You seriously couldn't tell he looks like one of 
us? 


(Salquipper vocalizes softly.) 


Eriksson: Well yeah, he's got no beard, but — 
whatever. Hey. You! Can you understand me? 


D-11424: Me? 


Eriksson: (Chuckles.) Of course you, who 
else? 


D-11424: You speak English? 


Eriksson: English? (To the walrus:) I'll give 
ya, eh, six extra flugfish for 'im. 


(Salquipper bares its tusks and vocalizes 
loudly.) 


Eriksson: You've lost yer mind. Twelve, then! 


(Salquipper nods, and shakes the Viking's 
hand with its flipper. A second Viking, 
presumably Mugspiel, hefts a large crate of flat 
purple fish and exchanges it for a crate of 
Salquipper's green fish.) 


Eriksson: Pleasure doing business with ya. 
(He turns to D-11424 and unbinds him.) So, 
my friend, how'd you find yerself in this pickle? 


D-11424: | was uh, exploring, and | got lost. 


Eriksson: Heh. You're a Jong ways from yer 
home, aye? I'd take ya back to Lugwardia with 
us, but | imagine yer folks are missin’ ya. If you 
know which way you came through, we can 
help guide ya before we head back. 


D-11424: Well, could you point me to the 
portal the walruses come through? | got turned 
around on the way in, but once | get back to 
their world | can find my way back home. 


Eriksson: Sure thing. Pinderlump, go ahead 
and take the... staggfish to trade with the 
Ukthani. I'll escort our pal here to the doors. 
(Several of the charms in his beard gleam 
temporarily.) 


D-11424: | really appreciate that, man. 


Eriksson: Right, right, now make yerself 


useful and hold these bags. 
D-11424: Okay. 


(Eriksson and D-11424 continue walking for 
about 10 minutes.) 


D-11424: | don't remember going this way. 
Eriksson: It's a shortcut, friend. Trust me. 
D-11424: Right. 


(Eriksson stops at a large stall, covered in an 
ornate red canopy.) 


Eriksson: Just need to make a wee stop. Give 
ya something for the road, as it were. 


D-11424: Cool. You really don't have to, | 
mean — 


Eriksson: | insist! On me honor! Now, stand 
right there. It'll be a surprise. 


D-11424: Alright! (D-11424 looks around.) 


(A crash is heard, followed by both Eriksson 
and an unidentified voice yelling. The canopy 
collapses.) 


D-11424: Wait, what — 


(Several tentacles reach out from underneath 
the wreck of the canopy, wriggling wildly. 
Instead of suckers, the tentacles possess four- 
fingered hands. Two of these tentacles attempt 
to seize D-11424 and Eriksson, the latter of 
whom successfully evades.) 


D-11424: Oh, come on! 


Long-term exposure to SCP-436 allows the alterations to accrue, 
eventually resulting in an often-indescribable item. Dr. 
possesses three samples, currently under study. 


When SCP-436 is closed, the error effect apparently decreases in 
intensity—although, as previously mentioned, this cannot be 
confirmed. 


Attempting to average many measurements affected by SCP-436 
will not result in a more accurate measurement. Note that these are 
not isolated instances of the effect—the measurements simply 
average to a significant deviation. With multiple averages from 
multiple sets of trials, the result still does not gain any accuracy; it is 
unknown how SCP-436 produces this multi-layer effect without 
[REDACTED]. 


Addendum: When handling SCP-436, leave it in a flat, open place. 
We usually have trouble finding it again when personnel leave it in a 
container, and when we do, it's not easy to open. -Dr. 


« SCP-435 | SCP-436 | SCP-437 » 


Unidentified Voice: (Unintelligible.) Thieves! 
(Unintelligible.) 


D-11424: Eriksson! You bastard! 


(Eriksson whistles, and several charms in his 
beard begin to glow. A glowing blue barrier 
resembling sheet music forms between him 
and the mass of tentacles. The wagon with his 
companions returns, and Eriksson jumps 
aboard with his stolen goods.) 


D-11424: Screw you! (D-11424 bites several 
of the fingers on the tentacle, causing it to 
release him.) 


Unidentified Voice: The rule! 


D-11424: I'm outta here! Dr. Arceo, which 
way? 


Dr. Arceo: (Static.) I'm not sure, just get out of 
there and we'll work it out. 


(D-11424 begins running.) 


D-11424: Yay, static. That's always a good 
sign. If you can hear me, | think the coast is 
clear. The tentacle thing is chasing down the 
Vikings now. Now, to find my way out of here. 


(D-11424 wanders for a few minutes before 
stopping at a crude pyramid composed of 
stacked, beating hearts, all singing in 
harmony.) 


D-11424: Okay yeah, | remember hearing this 
one on the way in. | think I'm going the right 
way. 


(Commotion can be heard. D-11424 begins 
running once again.) 


D-11424: Okay maybe not out of the woods 
yet. Where do | — augh!