When he came to again, it was dusk. Sheng had come closer, and 
was looking down in his lap, face blank. Chin didn't say anything. 
Suddenly Sheng burst up, peering over the top of the cubes. His 
radio came alive with a fast voice, barely comprehensible. Sheng 
whirled, started shouting, "The hammer's coming down! Avanti! Let's 
go!" 


The whole line surged forward, leaping over the gray cubes and 
charging into the dense foliage. Gunfire was heard, but not directed 
at them. They passed trenches, shovels, picks, knapsacks and 
empty cans and containers. Still no people. They slowed to a walk. 
The gunfire didn't let up. 


"Wait, stop!" Sheng called out. Just then, bullets flew past, and a 
swarm of men came charging at them. Visibility through the 
vegetation was poor; the insurgents suddenly appeared. Men on 
both sides dropped from point-blank fire. The rest slammed into one 
another, turning the fight into a melee. 


Chin was untouched, and looked around in a panic. Everyone was 
dirty, wet, indistinguishable from one another. Men were biting one 
another, most going for the fingers pressed in front of their faces. 
Others wrestled over dropped rifles. Every so often a gun would go 
off point blank. A man with an enormous beard lunged at Chin, 
flailing wildly at his face. Chin brought his elbow up to smash him in 
the face. The man barely seemed to stagger, and slipped past Chin. 
Before Chin could recover, the man had brought his hands around 
and started to press them into Chin's throat. The man dropped, with 
Chin on top of him, as another insurgent with a clean-shaven face 
stood up over him, bellowing incoherently as he raised his AK up, 
aiming to smash Cpl. Chin's face in with the stock. 


Chin winced, and the man jerked violently, blood quickly pooling in 
his shirt. The edge of a blade burst out from his chest, thrust in with 
such violence as to drag several vertebrae out with it. A wet piece of 
bone fell onto Chin's neck. He would've squealed if he could 
breathe. The man's body fell, and Private Qianlong looked down at 
Chin. He examined him, then carefully drew a smaller knife, waited, 
then stabbed the man strangling Cpl. Chin. He continued to stab 
until he was satisfied. Then he reached behind him, pulling up on 
the dead man's beard and cutting it off. He tucked the beard into a 
pocket before helping Chin up. 


Gunfire was still going off up ahead. "Let's go!" Sheng continued to 
shout, "Avanti! They broke into a run again. They ran into stragglers 
along the way, putting them down quickly as they came. 


There was a break in the trees, and Chin could see a mound of 
wood, rocks, and metal, atop which men knelt behind sandbags, 
stacks of wood or concrete blocks. They had been facing away from 
Chin and the group, and were now turned and aiming directly at 
them. Chin barely managed a shout before they opened fire. Several 
rounds knocked him back onto his ass, flattening against his armor 
and crushing his chest. He gasped for air, unable to move or look 


around. 


The sky above was open. The moon was still out, and he could see 
some stars. Smoke lingered in places, but he could still see them. A 
black bird high above was lazily diving downward, its wings folded 
in. Chin tried to smile, the motion sending sudden stabs of pain 
through his jaw. He could feel his molars throbbing. One of them 
had cracked solidly in half. He tongued at it, trying to get the broken 
piece out. It was still lodged in his gums. 


"Eeeeeghhh..." He grunted, and started to wheeze with pained 
laughter. It wasn't a bird, he realized. It was a bomb. Then it 
exploded, and the world went red. 


Shi Mingxia was trying to focus on the news. Something breaking 
had happened. The newscasters were talking fast. Images of what 
might have been an explosion. Then red. It was too blurry for her to 
make out exactly what it was that was red. It had to be important, 
because she could hear people chattering loudly in the halls, some 
gasping, others screaming and sobbing. 


She chewed on the tube lodged down her throat, to keep her gag 
reflex from making her wretch and dislodging it again. The men 
standing above her were unfamiliar except for Wu. 


"What else do you know about the bacterium?" One of them was 
asking, a man with one brown eye and one gray. 


She grinned, and shrugged, <You've asked me this twice now> She 
typed on a laptop placed near her right hand, in English. The man 
was speaking English, and didn't look Chinese, <Can you be more 
specific> 


"When did you first identify it? Where did it come from?" 


She shrugged again, easier than always reaching for the distant 
apostrophe with her trembling pinky. 


<What difference does it make It is contained> 


"It was contained. There was an incident on the front lines; a bomb 


went off. It was loaded with bacteria, infected thousands of our 
troops. We believe someone supplied the insurgents with it, 
engineering it to be easily dispersed by air. We've interrogated some 
captured insurgents and we've got a few leads, but their stories 
contradict. We need anything, anything, you may be able to give 
us." 


She grinned again, chest heaving slightly. Engineered? She had 
been operating under that assumption before. Hadn't she already 
discounted that idea just before the outbreak that got her 
quarantined? 


Her head started to throb again, and she felt blood oozing down her 
throat. A sharp pain ran down along her skin, and she looked down, 
seeing blood oozing from her nipples as well, and from her navel. 
She lay her head back and closed her eyes. The men were talking 
now, fast and loud. 


"No, no, no," she whispered over the tube in her mouth. This was 
beyond anyone's ability to engineer. This was something unique and 
anomalous. Someone should've called somebody to deal with it 
earlier, not her. She was just a lab assistant. 


She looked off to her side, at the window. Was it red outside, or was 
blood starting to cover her eyes. She squeezed her eyes shut to 
clear the blood, but the bed started to move before she could look 
again. 


Not my problem. The pain was gone. Shi Mingxia closed her eyes 
and passed away. 


« Key Biscayne | Save Her From Herself | The Frail » 
Anabasis Hub 


Saving Sigurrés Potter 


Harry and Dumbledore strode through the front doors of the evil 
foundation, having bown them of there henges and look at Doctor 
Blight, the evil wizard responsible for the imprison ran by Muggles of 
the American wizards. 


Doctor Bright cursed when he saw the power of Harry and 
Dumbledore, drawing his wand from a place he hid it and firing a 
spell at them. “AVADA KEDAVARA|!” 


Harry deflected the spell with ease, looking a Dumbledore with a 
smirk. “He’s noting Albus. Can you handle this?” 


“Im not so sure, Harry. Hes a powerful necromancr!” 


“Bullshit” said Harry, disenchanting the horcrux around doctor 
Bright’s neck! 


“Fuck yeah!” said Dumbledore, patting harry of the back. “Your good 
at this!” 


Then harry went down the hall and pulled the tubes out of his 
sister's arms/ 


“Im here to resuce!” he said, looking he her awakening body. 


“Harry, my brother, | missd you soooo much since mom and dad 
kepy me from aging and hid me here to save me!” 


“Its cool,” said Harry. “Were togeher!” 


Then harry and sigurrus and dumbledore (who’s NOT GAY) went 
back home, and harry fucked Ginny stupid. 


SCP-931: A Rice Bowl 


lts tem Number 
Is SCP Nine Three One; 
Object Class is Safe. 


Heed these Procedures, 
To keep the item secure— 
Special Containment. 


Kept at Site-19 
In a Level 2 locker, 
But no extra guards. 


Free access to it 
Is prohibited to most: 
Need Third-tier clearance. 


Effects are triggered 
By some images of it— 
Depends on angle. 


Writing about it 
Will always be affected, 
Despite ignorance. 


A Description of 
SCP Nine Thirty-One: 
It is a rice bowl. 


White, with a blue band, 
And a crackled blue pattern 
All inside the bowl. 


Three inches in height, 
Four point five inches across. 
(Metric doesn’t fit.) 


SCP-000 


Ittém # SCP-000 
@bjectX_XClas§: #NULL 


SpeciAl cosItDINM$%#Il to undefined function PROCEDURES(): 
Error: Field CONTAINVENT_ PROCEDURES does not exist. 


DeS5(riptloOn: Internal system error: Field undefined. Please 
contact system administrator. Internal system error: Field undefined. 
Please contact system administrator. InteRual System ERaron: 
FiélD UnDéfinéD. pLeLSe cositAct 
8Y8teMMMMMMMMMMMMM4@#$@!488%**$*%o* YoYo" 


Alright, I'm sick of this shit. The system keeps kicking out 
repair tickets for this spot in the database, and | don't 
want to bother with it anymore. I'm going to put 
suppression on any tickets involving the 000 slot of the 
database, because it's disrupting work flow for actual 
problems, and generally just pissing me off. | don't know 
why it keeps fucking with the syntax, but the fact of the 
matter is that it's only happening here, and considering 
that the only thing here is just a giant pile of junk data, it's 
more than likely the database pissing itself over the lack 
of proper information. If anything changes, I'll definitely 
look into it, but as of right now this issue is closed. 

- Technical Researcher Rosen 


SCP-049-D 


lt was a dark and stormy night. 


The Site-19 Annual Multidisciplinary Symposium About Research 
Articles (SAMSARA) was off to an auspicious first day. Site Director 
Acosta stepped back up to the podium. 


Her eyes struggled to appear excited. "Thank you, Dr. Maravilla and 
Dr. Velasquez, for that wonderfully enlightening talk on ‘The 
Chemistry of SCP-2829's Secretions, and Its Practical Applications 
in Containment Innovation'." The doctors bowed, Dr. Maravilla 
disconnected his laptop, and they each walked back to their 


respective seats to the tune of sparse clapping. 


Director Acosta suppressed a yawn. "Next, we have an exciting 
presentation by-" 


She was cut short by a stocky, lab-coat-clad figure barreling through 
the double doors and sprinting up the platform steps. The young 
man paused, held up one finger, and tried to catch his breath. Then 
he stole Dr. Maravilla's unopened bottle that was left on the podium, 
and gulped it down in its entirety. 


Acosta tapped her foot repeatedly. The sweaty young man leaned 
over and whispered in her ear. 


Acosta could feel individual hairs turning grayer by the second. 
"Alright, nobody move, NOBODY MOVE! There. Alright, so here's 
the situation at present. SCP-049 was found dead in its cell 20 
minutes ago." 


A cacophony of cheers, sighs, laughter, and yelling erupted from the 
gathered scientists. 


"Quiet! This means, first and foremost, that the Site is on lockdown 


until we get this sorted out. And you're all suspects. Mobile Task 
Forces are sweeping the building. I've got Internal Affairs 
investigators on every line. We are going to get to the bottom of this, 
and figure out who gets the dubious honor of a posthumous 
celebration. Agent Curie will be leading this investigation." 


The tall, wrinkled man pushed his comically oversized glasses up 
his pointy nose, and cleared his throat. "Yes, hmm. | will be 
personally conducting all interviews. | assure you, my team and | are 
most experienced at handling situations like these." 


Researcher Genesis Rosas was the first to be cleared, as she had 
been confirmed to have slept through the entire symposium. A 
forensics specialist, she was quickly called to begin assessing the 
victim, or what was left of him. She stared down disdainfully at the 
broken white mask and corroded robes that sat in a pile on the floor. 
The security guard accompanying her stepped over the caution tape 
and handed her 049's file. "Ironic," he mimicked in an Emperor 
Palpatine voice, "he could cure others from death, but not himself." 


Genesis lightly smacked him with the clipboard. "This is serious 
business, nerd." 


The guard shrugged. "Nothing serious about that thing. Glad it's 
gone", he said pointing at the pile. "Yeah, so security cameras all 
black out 10 minutes before it happened. No weapon, no blood, no 
footprints, at least from what | can tell." 


Genesis twirled a loose curl of her jet black hair. "From what I've 
been told, no decommissioning was scheduled. It was either a skip, 
an intruder, or someone in here." 


"Well, the perimeter sensors were still up. No one went in or out." 


Genesis set down the file. "You're still thinking inside the box. Plenty 
of ways someone could have pulled this off without triggering those, 
but I'll wait for the MTFs to finish their sweeps." 


"What about the skips? Barring this sucker, every sentient slash 
mobile skip is secure." 


"Never underestimate skips." 


Agent Curie faced the wall of the interrogation chamber. He took a 
moment to dramatically stroke his beard before he began. 


"Doctor Maravilla. How coincidental that your talk concluded right 
after the deed was done. A bit too coincidental, don't you think?" 


Dr. Wilberto Maravilla sat in the uncomfortable metal chair, rubbing 
his temples. "Seriously? You really think | would threaten my own 
job security here, breach every protocol in the book, just over that 
damn plague ‘doctor'?" 


"It is possible that you and your co-author purposefully engineered 
your presentation to be so boring as to lull any witnesses to utter 
apathy and allow a third agent to carry out the termination." 


Maravilla stood up. "Alright, now that's just insulting. That 
presentation was one of the best of the day! Our clinical tone was 
perfect! Our conclusions fascinating!" 


Curie looked down at the table. "I dunno, it could have used more 
narrative." 


",..What?" 
"Nothing. What beef, if any, did you have with the SCP in question?" 


"Beef?" Maravilla made air quotes. "Before transferring to Site-234, | 
made frequent visits to the Chemistry Labs here. The hallway that 
leads to those labs passes right by that infernal thing's cell. Every 
time, | would hear it calling out after me. ‘Oh, my good sir, are youa 
true doctor, as | am?’ Day in and day out. Finally, | was tasked to 
analyze one of the vials in its bag. It turned out to be distilled urine. | 
put in my request for transfer that same day." 


Agent Curie scribbled on a notepad. "Mhm yes. | must now conduct 
more interviews. Guards, return this doctor to the auditorium.” Dr. 
Maravilla shrugged, and walked out the door. 


One down, one hundred and eighteen to go. 


Dr. Velasquez now sat in the chair, picking at the scab on her 
knuckle as Agent Curie droned on. 


"... and woke up SCP-3233, paid off her little critters, smuggled 
them into Site-45, had them steal the Claw, seduced SCP-2719 to 
get inside the Plague Doctor's cell, and finished it off." Agent Curie 
leaned in to face the suspect. 


Velasquez blinked. "And I'm supposed to have done all this while 
Maravilla was struggling to connect his laptop." 


"So you admit it!" 


Velasquez hit her forehead on the cheap table. "What. Look, | hated 
that thing as much as anyone else, but this is ridiculous! Why don't 
they just chalk it all up as a budget-saving free termination and be 
done with it?" 


"Hmm. That would be the sensible response, after all... but only if 
you were the mastermind behind the Site-19 embezzling ring! This is 
just the tip of the iceberg!" 


"| never thought I'd say this, but | think | preferred talking to 049." 


One by one, the doctors were interviewed and each one admitted 
their disdain for the skip. Three time-shifted copies of Dr. Thaddaeus 
Xyank were found, all with buckets of popcorn and camcorders, and 
all cursing themselves for neglecting to account for Daylight Savings 
Time. Dr. Kumail Khan lightened the mood by putting together an 
impromptu "Best 049 Impression" contest.