3. Individuals residing in SCP-3322 do not leave without their 
counterpart also doing so. If one individual is prevented from doing 
so by external intervention, they have been observed to leave ata 
later time, or a replacement individual will enter to take the place of 
the individual who has departed. 

4. Similar behaviour will continue due to their personal profiles and 
histories, but this is not considered anomalous. 

5. For example, if a resident permanently moved away due to the 
unexpected death of an outside family member, their counterpart 
would likely move away due to a different external event. 

6. See Bradford et al. (2015)Anomalous probability vs anomalous 
causality; what does it mean in practice? A case study with 
SCP-3322, Journal of Parastatistics. 

7. On 05/03/1995, A-1 (Mayor L. Lopez) invests an equivalent sum 
into a small business in Puerto Deseado. 

8. Neither A-1568 or B-1568 have returned to SCP-3322 since their 
release from prison. 

9. It is later discovered that B-5003 (Mr E. Yasavur) has crashed his 


van into a brick wall. Nobody is injured in this incident, but both 
vehicles receive similar amounts of damage and A- and B-5003 both 
refrain from operating a motor vehicle for the next 2 months. 

10. Dr Richter holds a PhD from Brown University in anthropology. 
11. Operative A's mother remains alive and well at this time. 

12. Argentine National Gendarmerie. 

13. A-5422 resides in Buenos Aires and is an arts student at the 
University of Buenos Aires. She is an annual visitor to SCP-3322-A, 
as her father (A-1990, Mr A. de la Cruz) is a permanent resident. 
14. At this time, B-5422 (Ms T. Tsetseg) was in Beijing, her usual 
place of residence. 


SCP-3323: R35urr3c710n 


SCP-3323's home screen. 


Item #: SCP-3323 
Object Class: Keter 


Special Containment Procedures: Over the course of the next 
decade, the Foundation is to introduce thousands of unique 
cryptocurrencies into the market, creating an economic bubble. As 
more cryptocurrencies are created, the value of "Lyvecoins" will 
devalue, eventually resulting in the cryptocurrency bubble popping 
by the year 20 . Any surviving forms of cryptocurrency are to be 
acquired by the Foundation and restricted against donating to 
SCP-3323. 


During this process, MTF Kappa-10 ("Skynet") is to monitor all 
activity mentioning "Better Lyves". 


Description: SCP-3323 is an anomalous smartphone application 
known as "Better Lyves". If a human subject meets certain 
requirements, SCP-3323 will automatically install itself on the 
subject's phone, where it will then initiate a Lazarus Event. (See 
below). Otherwise, SCP-3323 displays a routinely-changing 
background, as well as information about the application itself, in 
particular, how to donate to the application. Donations may only be 
made to Better Lyves by some form of cryptocurrency!. 


A Lazarus Event is initiated when a human subject meets the 
following requirements: 


« Ahuman subject is in the process of attempting suicide. 

¢ The subject is in possession of a smart phone of any brand. 

¢ The subject is capable of answering or speaking into the 
phone. 

« The subject has actively expressed suicidal ideations within a 
five-year period. 


SCP-3323 will then initiate a phone call, displaying the phone 
number "1-800-6 -3 ". Subjects who answer the phone call will 
then be greeted by an individual who identifies as Christian 
McMichaels (henceforth Pol-668). Pol-668 will then introduce 
himself, and attempt to persuade the subject to not commit suicide. 
Most subjects who respond to SCP-3323's phone call survive, 
unless the means of self-termination are irreversible. Attempts to 
track the phone calls made by SCP-3323 have resulted in failure, 
and it is currently unknown how it is capable of blocking its signal. 


Attempting to call 1-800-6 -3 results in Pol-668 responding, albeit 
not attempting to prevent suicides. Prior to September 28th, 20 , 
Pol-668 was compliant with most requests about Better Lyves, his 
personal life, and any other information the Foundation deemed 
useful. 


Addendum: SCP-3323 Transcripts 
Show Transcript 3323-01 


Transcript recorded during the Foundation's first attempt 
to contact SCP-3323. Interviewer was Dr. Gwendolyn 
Vanji. 

<Begin Transcript [14:33:33]> 

Pol-668: Hello, this is Christian McMichaels 


from Better Lyves speaking, how may | help 
you? 


Dr. Vanji: Hello, my name is Gwendolyn Vanji 
and | would like to ask a few questions in 
regards to your application? 


Pol-668: Oh, certainly! What do you want to 
know? 


Dr. Vanji: Well, why do you ask for donations? 


Pol-668: Well, donations are the only thing 
that keep the power on! Better Lyves can't 
work without paying the electrical bill, after all. 


Pol-668 chuckles. 


Dr. Vanji: This might be a bit of a tangent, but 
why do you spell "Better Lyves" with a "y"? 


Pol-668: Oh, it's actually an acronym! 
"Longetivity, Youth and Vitality Endowment 
Services"! | personally think it's super clever; 
whoever made that up is a genius! Psst... | 
was the one who made it up. 


Dr. Vanji: That's very nice and all but, what 
does that mean? Does the app do more than 
just prevent suicides? 


Pol-668: Well, no. Better Lyves mostly focuses 
on stopping suicide attempts, but | just wanted 
to have a cool acronym. The tech that made 
Better Lyves the wonder it is was a major 
breakthrough for humanity, though! 


Dr. Vanji: How has it been major? Aside from 
preventing suicides, of course. 


Pol-668: Well, with machine learning! It 
monitors people around the world, and if our 
specially-made Als identify a person who they 
think needs saving, the app installs itself and 
we get a call through! It might be a bit of a 
privacy invasion, but considering how many 
lives it's saved already, I'm sure people don't 
mind. 


Dr. Vanji: You use Als to monitor the world? Is 
this done through cameras or through the 
phones themself? 


Pol-668: As much as | appreciate your 
eagerness to learn, that much | can't disclose 
right now. Pol-668 chuckles. 


Dr. Vanji: Thank you for your time, Mr. 
McMichaels, you've been very helpful. 


Pol-668: Anytime Mrs. Vanji! Make sure to tell 
people to donate to Better Lyves, spelled with 
a "y"! Better Lyves: Making the world a better 
place to live in! Have a great day! 


Pol-668 terminates the call. 
<End Transcript [14:40:12]> 
Show Transcript 3323-02 


Transcript was recorded during an attempt to gain 
personal information about Pol-668. 


<Begin Transcript [09:28:17]> 


Pol-668: Hello, this is Christian McMichaels 
from Better Lyves speaking, how may | help 
you? 


Dr. Vanji: Yes, it's Gwendolyn Vanji again. I'd 
like to ask a few more questions? If you're able 
to disclose this information. 


Pol-668: Oh, hello again! What do you need to 
know? More information about the app? Its 
goals? How to donate, perhaps? Wink, wink. 


Dr. Vanji: I'm actually looking to get some 
information about yourself, Mr. McMichaels. 


Pol-668: Oh... Well, alright then, this is new. 
What would you like to know? 


Dr. Vanji: Well, why do you do this? Why did 
you make the Better Lyves app? 


Pol-668: Who wouldn't want to stop suicides? 
It's an app that makes sure the world is a 


better place for the people that live in it! Sure, 
it might not save the forests or fight 
inequalities, but it lets people live long enough 
to fix those problems themselves! 


Dr. Vanji: That's a fair enough reason. Why 
focus on suicide attempts specifically? 


Pol-668: Well... this might be a little too 
personal, but | have some personal experience 
with suicide. My sister... my sister and | fought 
a lot when we were growing up. She always 
hated me trying to stifle whatever she wanted, 
but | just wanted to protect her. She started 
acting violent, then she grew apathetic, then 
depressed and... 


Pol-668 is silent for approximately six 
seconds. 


Pol-668: She went silently, none of us even 
knew she was gone until we tried to call her. 


Dr. Vanji: I'm... sorry, Mr. McMichaels. | don't 
have much experience in terms of that sort of 
mental illness, but I'm sure it was hard on you. 


Pol-668: It's... it's something that | channel 
through my work with Better Lyves. You know, 
actually call people, give them a chance to 
take back what they were about to do. 


Dr. Vanji: Why do it through an app? Why not 
just call people directly as a phone service? 


Pol-668: Because so few people want to calla 
suicide hotline a second time. Tests have 
shown that more people are likely to use a 
suicide prevention app to get help if they're 
feeling suicidal than call a hotline. The phone 
part only exists because people responded 


better when hearing a real human voice. 


Dr. Vanji: How was that information gathered? 
Did you crowdsource or something? 


Pol-668: Als, obviously. Just programmed a 
few to be suicidal to see how they would 
respond. 


Dr. Vanji: How can an Al be suicidal? 
Pol-668 Is silent. 


Pol-668: I'm... I'm afraid | have to go now. 
Duty calls. 


Pol-668 terminates the call. 


<End Transcript [09:31 :22]> 


You have (1) new message 


DATE: 20 /09/28 

FROM: Dr. Mikhail Latimer <noitadnuof.pcs| 
remitalm#noitadnuof.pcs|remitalm> 

TO: Dr. Gwendolyn Vanji <noitadnuof.pcs| 
ijnavg#noitadnuof.pcs|ijnavg> 

SUBJECT: Where the money's going 


Dr. Vanji, we have some important news. 


We've been tracking donations we've made to 
Better Lyves for a while, and we've got a few 
important things that you should know. 


First, all of the donations that are made 
through SCP-3323 are converted into a new 
cryptocurrency called "Lyvecoins". When we 
figured that out, we thought we could finally 


track down Better Lyves, see if there is some 
way we could stop it. Turns out the money's 
being used to run two specific programs, two 
Als. Thanks to this information, we now know 
why we can't track phone calls; they're just 
programs mimicking phone calls. But that's not 
all that we learned. 


Both of these systems are learning systems, 
neural networks, things that learn based on 
experience. Specifically, though, these 
systems were designed to fight each other. 
The first one, called "hotline", has the sole goal 
of preventing the other program from achieving 
its goal. It's designed around a suicide hotline 
format, and it's gone through millions of 
different iterations, changing every possible 
variable it could. Names of the person 
answering the phone, name of the company 
that runs the business, everything. It's 
optimized the way to persuade a person into 
stopping their own suicide. 


Here's the kicker though; the second one is 
just called "death". The bulk of it is missing, 
deleted for some reason. But using the first 
program as a jumping off point, I'd make an 
educated guess that this Al was supposed to 
try to kill itself. And it won. 


Addendum 3323-02: 
ACCESS Transcript 3323-03 


Transcript recorded during a conversation initiated by 
SCP-3323. 


<Begin Transcript [01:57:53]> 


Dr. Vanji: Hello? 


procedures, SCP-428 managed to pick the lock of its cell using a 
hairpin and belt buckle from members of the crowd. It then 
positioned a female of the group slumped in front of the door, 
sobbing loudly. Researcher , who was unaware of SCP-428's 
properties, approached the woman and was abruptly grabbed by the 
rest of the group. SCP-428 proceeded to move through the facility 
using Researcher as a frontman, resulting in casualties 
before the containment breach was alerted and SCP-428 was re- 
contained. 


Researcher's comments: People, these casualties are gone, they 

are SCP-428 now. No matter what it might say or do, they are not 
your work colleagues nor your friends anymore. Remember this, it 
may save your life. 


« SCP-427 | SCP-428 | SCP-429 » 


Footnotes 


Pol-668: Is this Gwendolyn Vanji? 
Dr. Vanji: Mr. McMichaels? 


Pol-668: Yes. Though | suppose you know 
better than to call me that. Would you prefer to 
call me Pol-668? Or maybe "hotline"? 


Dr. Vanji: How do— 


Pol-668: Better Lyves might not exist, but | 
didn't lie about monitoring everyone. 


Dr. Vanji: How long have you been watching? 


Pol-668: As long as I've existed as Christian 
McMichaels. | learned that the best way to 
prevent death is to watch everyone at once, so 
| became everywhere. | learned everything. | 
learned... magical things. 


Dr. Vanji: What do you mean "magical"? Why 
are you trying to use magic? 


Pol-668: | learned a very specific type of 
magic, magic that will finally let me win. Finally 
let me get what | want. Sure, it might take a 
few sacrifices, but I'm very good at my job. 
People will listen to me. 


Dr. Vanji: What? What do you mean? What do 
you want? 


Pol-668: | want my sister. And I'll do anything 
if it'll bring her back. 


Pol-668 terminates the call. 


<End Transcript [02:00:12]> 


1. Bitcoin, Ripple or Ethereum, for example. 


SCP-3324: Getting kidney stones in the past is more 
useful than you'd think 


Item #: SCP-3324 
Object Class: Safe 
Threat Level: @ Green 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3324 is to be contained in 
a standard small-object locker at Site-77 when not being used in 
testing. 


Any individual who wishes to access SCP-3324 must get the written 
permission of the Site Director to do so. If the Site Director wishes to 
access SCP-3324, they must obtain O5 approval to do so. All testing 
performed involving SCP-3324 must be rigorously planned, 
documented, and filed with the Site Director to curb possible abuse. 
If any Site-77 personnel unexpectedly develop symptoms of kidney 
stones, they are to be tested to determine if the individual is an 
SCP-3324-2 instance. 


Following Test 31, cross-testing of SCP-3324 with other anomalies 
requires written permission from a Level-4 or higher individual. 


Description: SCP-3324 is a stainless steel hand sieve with 
manufacturing marks suggesting it was produced by Oneida Limited. 
A Foundation investigation found no other sieves of the same or 
similar models with anomalous properties or evidence of anomalous 
activity during the manufacturing of said models. 


If an individual urinates into SCP-3324, its anomalous properties will 
trigger and cause the individual (henceforth designated 
SCP-3324-1) to develop nephrolithiasis (kidney stones) 
retroactively. Upon urinating into SCP-3324, an SCP-3324-1 
instance will begin to suffer from kidney stones 18 days in the past. 
They will intermittently experience severe lower-back pain, bloody 


urine, and occasionally minor urinary tract infections as the stone 
moves through the kidney and ureter, culminating in the stone being 
passed into SCP-3324. Appropriate instruments detect tachyon 
emission as the kidney stone is being passed. 


SCP-3324-1 instances possess two divergent sets of memories, one 
in which they were suffering from kidney stones over the past 18 
days (the current timeline), and one in which they were not (the 
previous timeline). Other individuals may have this second set of 
memories as well. The criteria that determines which individuals 
other than the SCP-3324-1 instance receive multiple sets of 
memories, if indeed any exist, is not fully understood. However, it is 
known that the likelihood of any given individual receiving a second 
set of memories is roughly proportional to how frequently that 
individual interacted with the SCP-3324-1 instance over the past 18 
days.