Johnny just stared at Ross. He was not expecting this. | mean, who 
could? 


We were wondering how we were going to finish bleeding for Ross 
without the knife when the rest of us started developing pains in our 
left side. Soon, everyone's spleen was rupturing and spraying blood. 
Well, that solved the knife problem, even if this was really freaking 
us out. Everyone except Johnny, who was just standing there, 
desperately trying to restore order in the whole bloody mess 
everything had become. He just started prematurely regurgitating his 
blood and wood pulp into the casket, before Livvy and Amelia were 
able to add their blood to the coffin. Ross's spleen tentacles just 
started slurping up Johnny's slurry like it was a shake or something. 


Johnny was distraught. There was no way to fill up the casket now. 
Also, everyone was bleeding out their sides and making a mess of 
the church. We were all pretty much running around confused. So, | 
guess that's why no one noticed when this bloody human in a hot 
London suit and spats rose out of Ross's abdominal cavity. 


Stepping out of the corpse, the party crasher wiped the blood from 
his face and dude. Duuuuuude. It was that guy from all the shows. 
You know, that guy. We just had a TV star crash Ross's funeral. He 
called out, "Smile and laugh!" He reached over to the tabernacle and 
opened it up to reveal a hidden camera! Then, he went over to Aunt 
Maureen, stuck a finger up her nose and pulled out another camera! 
Oh my god, we were on a prank show all this time! That's what was 
going on! We all started laughing. This was way over the top, and 
you know Ross would have wanted it this way. 


Well, Cousin Johnny wasn't laughing. He was just perplexed. He 
always did have a weird sense of humor, Johnny. He just emitted a 
loud chittering and left the stage/church. 


The announcer closed with, "Spleens! Storing blood, recycling 
nutrients, producing lymphocytes, and making laughs! They were 
associated with melancholy in the past, but they provide nothing but 
mirth and merriment now. Is there anything that this oft-neglected 
organ can't do for us? We hope you enjoyed a good deep belly 
laugh and had a chance to vent your spleen! Vent your laugh! Come 
laugh with us. And remember, LAUGH IS FUN!" 


| had forgotten how fun funerals are. We should have them more 
often. 


Tales G 


Gamers Against Weed Dossier 


Group of Interest: Gamers Against Weed 
Group of Interest Number: 5869 

AKAs: GAW, "Merrymakers", "Jesters"!, "Reefer"2 
Threat Level: Yellow 


Group Description: Games Against Weed is a loosely-organized 
network of anomalous individuals that produces anomalies for their 
own amusement and/or satirical purposes. Formation date of the 
group is uncertain, but based on collected documents and chat logs, 
it seems to have been formed sometime between the years 2008 to 
2010 by Jude Kriyot, JJ3, and Esther4 as a splinter of Are We Cool 
Yet?, and became an online group with additional members in 2013, 
though it appears to have largely abandoned the creation of 
anomalous art. The group organizes almost exclusively over the 
internet, and has roughly 40 members. While several GAW- 
produced anomalies pose serious threats to secrecy, the threat to 
human life has been minimal. 


The group is composed primarily of dispossessed or otherwise 
marginalized individuals aged 15 - 30 in the Western hemisphere, 
possessing a variety of anomalous properties. The group is aware of 
the Foundation's activities, but lacks the ability to locate or directly 
target the Foundation. 


Capture of all members should be done non-lethally. Standard 
person of interest interview protocol should be followed, with 
members then amnesticized as needed and released. 


Members: The following is a list of known members based on 
collected documents and chat logs. It is unknown if this is a 
comprehensive list of members. Real/full names and history are 
largely unknown. Locations are largely unknown, as members who 


are able to do so switch between locations once alerted to 
Foundation presence and knowledge. 


Jude Kriyot (Pol-6870): AKA bluntfiend, AKA The Roller, 
AKA Papa Smoke. 29. One of the three founders of GAW, 
formerly a member of Are We Cool Yet?. Roman Catholic. 
Known anomalies that Kriyot has created are SCP-1168, 
SCP-3015 (co-creator), SCP-2293, and possibly SCP-3420. 
Associated with JJ, Esther, and Armand in-person. Possess 
anomalous abilities to control electricity, the extent of which is 
unknown. Immune to amnestics and lethal audio 
cognitohazards; standard interview protocol should be done 
while Kriyot is unaware of the interview location, and released 
in a different location to maximize confusion and mimic 
amnestic abilities to the best of the Foundation's possibility. 


JJ (Pol-6877): AKA jockjamsvol6. 28. One of the three 
founders of GAW. Jewish. Known anomalies that JJ has 
created are SCP-3015 and possibly Mr. Doggo along with 
polaricecraps. Associated with Jude, Esther, and Armand in- 
person. Current anomalous abilities are unknown but appear 
to be related to probability manipulation. Claims to have grown 
up at Site-216 (previously a safehouse before Foundation 
control) by himself since birth; no birth or family records for 
anyone assumed to be related to JJ in New England have 
been found. Associated in some fashion with the Serpent's 
Hand, and a frequenter of the Wanderer's Library. 
Attempts at captures for interviews have universally been 
unsuccessful and led to wasted resources. 


Esther (Pol-6878): AKA lesbian_gengar. 28. One of the 
three founders of GAW. Orthodox Jewish. Possible anomalies 
that Esther has contributed to are SCP-2476 and SCP-2658. 
Associated with JJ and Jude in-person. Possesses the ability 
to create cognitohazards, commonly used as a means of 
disrupting Foundation raids on GAW locations. SCP-5218 is 
believed to be an example of a cognitohazard created by 
Esther. 


Mr. Ominous (Pol-6879): Deceased. First member of GAW 
after the group was founded. Came up with the Misters 


February 


March 


Detective Noir 


Surreal 


investigate, at which 
point a sports car 
burst through the 
doors into SCP-855, 
running over one (1) 
member of security. 
Personnel later 
reported a man ina 
tuxedo firing at them 
with a pistol from 
within the vehicle. 
Vehicle vanished thirty 
(30) seconds later. 
Researchers within 
SCP-855 temporarily 
adopted a pessimistic 
attitude. Light 
spectrum appears to 
be affected, causing 
all researchers in 
SCP-855 to turn 
monochrome. 

All researchers sent 
into SCP-855 
disappeared without a 
trace. Mobile Task 
Force Beta-23 ("Film 
Critics") was sent in 
for a retrieval mission. 
One member of 
Mobile Task Force 
Beta-23 was 
recovered twenty (20) 
days after entry, the 
rest were declared 
KIA. Survivor claims 
that SCP-855 
contained a room that 
stretched on for miles, 
with ‘things’ in it. 


Against Weed concept. See SCP-3012 for more information. 


polaricecraps (Pol-6880): 17. British, though lives in United 
States. Current anomalous abilities are unknown, though 
suspected to operate in a similar capacity to Kriyot's. Believed 
to have created Mr. Doggo along with JJ, is the primary 
creator of SCP-2826, as well as contributing to GAW's more 
political SCPs. Current examples include SCP-2586 and 
SCP-2658. Based on references to living in Northwestern 
United States in combination with their username, as well as 
information gained from the history of SCP-2658, 
polaricecraps is hypothesized to live in Washington. 


Dahlia (Pol-6881): AKA hetcopogg. Early 20s. Protestant. 
Possible co-creator of SCP-3090. Believed to be one of the 
few members in GAW who are non-anomalous. College 
student in the United States, though location is unknown. Ina 
relationship with gaycopmp4. Livestreams video games; 
handle is unknown. Considered bottom-priority for 
interviewing. 


gaycopmp4 (Pol-6882): Early 20s. Primary creator of 
SCP-3024 and SCP-2726, possible creator or user of 
SCP-3858. Current anomalous abilities possibly relate to 
hacking and computer science. College student in the United 
States, though location is unknown. Was the source for the 
start of SCP-2293 spreading, although location has been 
inconclusive despite investigation. In a relationship with 
Dahlia. 


bones (Pol-6883): Based on collected logs, it is highly 
possible that bones is SCP-—2721-LORD, AKA Eli, though not 
able to be proven at the moment. Operates in a moderator 
capacity for the chat. Has claimed to send gifts to various 
members on very rare occasions, though how this is done is 
unknown if it is SCP-2721-LORD. Invited into the chat by Ju. 


Armand (Pol-6884): AKA harmpit. Early 20s. Believed to 
have anomalous abilities based on SCP-5218's description, 
but it is unknown what what these are at this time. Disowned 
for being gay by his family and joined GAW some time after. It 


is likely that Armand's frequent misspellings in chat are related 
to a supposed constant use of his anomalous abilities. Claims 
to not have inherent anomalous abilities, but is able to use 
said abilities "manually". 


kkrule (Pol-6888): 15. Current anomalous abilities are 
unknown. Youngest member of Gamers Against Weed. The 
only known anomaly that kkrule has created is SCP-2433. 
Professes to be straight-edge and is known to frequently play 
video games more than the other members. Competes in 
"underground video game tournaments" to make a living; 
monitoring of eSports tournaments across the United States is 
underway, but is to be considered low-priority. 


TrainerDP (Pol-6889): Age unknown. Current anomalous 
abilities are unknown, though it is claimed that they 
contributed to a Mister Against Weed. Rarely talks in chat. 
Due to radical differences in typing styles, there may be more 
than one individual using this username. 


talman_corvett (Pol-6891): 23. Swedish. Hindu. Possesses 
the ability to create animated graffiti art in a similar manner to 
SCP-1446. Possible connection to Are We Cool Yet? is 
unknown although either unlikely or distant, as talman_corvett 
has shown a dislike for physical violence and pretentious art. 
Has linked to non-anomalous joke e-books on Amazon he's 
said to have published, although Amazon had issued 
takedown orders on them by the time the Foundation obtained 
logs. Claims to know TrainerDP, but has not elaborated 
further. 


opossum (Pol-6892): 19. Claims to work as an animal 
handler. Current anomalous abilities are unknown, though 
references are made to it tying into animals. The only known 
anomaly that opossum has created is SCP-__, done 
separately from GAW, though brought up and mentioned 
shortly after Incident -A in the chat. ls a member of the furry 
community. Joined with tiedyeduck and DonDeLillo, and 
presumably knows them in-person. 


tiedyeduck (Pol-6893): 22. Current anomalous abilities are 


unknown. Has worked with various political groups in order to 
disrupt and dismantle them. Shows a general dislike against 
opossum for unknown reasons. Joined with opossum and 
DonDeLillo, and presumably knows them in-person. 


DonDeLillo (Pol-6894): 19. Believed to be one of the few 
members in GAW who are non-anomalous. Joined with 
opossum and tiedyeduck, and presumably knows them in- 
person. Dislikes kkrule greatly. 


Nathan Pierce (Pol-6897): AKA Kektagon. 19. Low-level 
reality bender known for creating anomalies affected by the 
cognition of their users or viewers. Dislikes serious topics and 
tends to limit his chat interaction to attempts at humor. Shares 
the pacifist views of the group, but lack of forethought has 
resulted in some of his creations possessing dangerous 
applications. Creator of SCP- ,SCP- , and SCP-3108. 


FreakyGhostBed (Pol-6900): 18. Current anomalous abilities 
are related to incorporeal humanoid entities, though nothing 
else is known. Claims to be a ghost and inhabiting a computer 
run by a sibling. Frequent interactions with FreakyGhostBed 
have resulted in a user's computer being "haunted" by them, 
making precise location difficult. 


_FuddruckeR_ (Pol-6906): 30. Current anomalous abilities 


are related to firearms. A lurker in the chat. Joined with 
orbhorse and CommunismAnarchismNihilism. Located in 
Southern United States and lives with orbhorse. 


orbhorse (Pol-6907): 26. Buddhist. Possesses the 
anomalous abilities to inhabit and control equines. A lurker in 
the chat. Joined with _FuddruckeR_ and 
CommunismAnarchismNihilism. Located in Southern United 
States and lives with FuddruckeR_. 


CommunismAnarchismNihilism (Pol-6908): 22. British. 
Joined with _FuddruckeR_ and orbhorse. References writing 
for and publishing non-anomalous and anomalous "fanzines" 
relating to communism, leftism, and fringe religious groups. 
Based on this, possible connections to SCP-2573 may be 


plausible and investigated. 


PCSatisfatorio (Pol-6920): 21. Brazilian. Current anomalous 
abilities are related to music in some form. Presumably knows 
goodpostskitty in-person, claiming to be in a band with her as 
well as joining chat with her. Has interacted with ex-Are We 
Cool Yet? musicians while touring in America and 
stricken up a rapport with them. 


goodpostskitty (Pol-6921): 19. Brazilian. Claims to separate 
her online persona from her body, making references to 
communicating inside computers; it is unknown what this 
means at the current moment. Talks in duplicate messages; it 
is unknown if this connects to her anomalous abilities. 
Presumably knows PCSatisfatorio in-person, claiming to be in 
a band with him as well as joining chat with him. 


fallout_meta.txt (Pol-6926): Late 20s. Claims to have fled a 
right-wing group of interest in Southern United States. 
Anomalous powers revolve around a fascination with history, 
claiming to have dissolved a historical reenactment group via 
enchanting historical items. Has given several conflicting 
stories on how they obtained anomalous powers. Presumed to 
still be located in Southern United States. 


FunkoPopFan1 (Pol-6927): Late 20s. Japanese. Current 
anomalous abilities are presumed to be media-based, but 
primarily anomalously creating bootleg collectibles and Funko 
Pops. A lurker in the chat. 


Three6serpent (Pol-6945): Age unknown. Current 
anomalous abilities are unknown. Newest known member of 
GAW, whose sole message in chat has been "Hi! :3" on 3 
February 2017. 


Other Branches: Reports from multiple branches of the Foundation 
indicate the existence of more than one Gamers Against Weed 
branches internationally. All currently known and reported branches 
include: 


China 


Japan 
Korea 


The full extent of activities across all branches, crossover in 
membership, and any other connections are unknown at this time. 
Other branches of the Foundation have not yet reported any 
existence of a group similar to Gamers Against Weed, but are 
informed to watch out for such. 


Group of Interest Interactions: Gamers Against Weed have had 
contact with limited numbers of notable group of interests. Known 
interactions are listed here. 


Are We Cool Yet?: Several members are either ex-members 
or know people who are/were members. Hostility and 
animosity exists between the two groups, although there have 
been no formal interactions or conflicts since GAW's 
inception. 


Doctor Wondertainment: The Misters Against Weed 
concept is a parody of the Little Misters products. See 
SCP-3012 for more information. Wondertainment appears to 
have not heard of, or not recognize, GAW. 


The Factory: See SCP-2658 for more information. 


The Fifth Church: Possible vague connection with 
CommunismAnarchismNihilism.