Marshall, Carter and Dark, Ltd. 


Initial Report 
~-ancis Conne ~ 
Interest High Identifier 


While on holiday 
after another 
assignment, a 
number of locals 
directed me to 
the item of 
interest. Though 
it is no small 
artefact, the 
rather odd name 
and abnormal 
flavour and 
colour of their 
product warrant 
further 
investigation. 
Possibly a 


File Opened S73V3/ 
ans ~3C6K/83ER5 
Marshall, Carter 
and Dark, Lid. 


Electronic Correspondence 


$73V3/ 

Sender Francis Conne Recipient 
Good afternoon, 
Mr Branson. 


We spoke earlier 


Stephen Crane's 
Pub and 
Brewery 


Gideon Branson 


this week about 
the purchase of 
Item S73V3/ 
N5C6K/83ERS. | 
was wondering if 
you had 
completed the 
draft, yet. 


Respectfully 
yours, 
Mr Francis 


Marshall, Carter 
and Dark, Ltd. 


RE: S73V3/ 


Sender Gideon Bransa 
sorry for any 
delay, mr 


Connelly 


Recipient 


lam not really a 
master of words 
myself so il gave 
the job toa 
mate. she is very 
good with writing 
letters!!oh & sh 
e can b trusted 
shes in the same 
business as us. 
no hard feelings 
mate, right??? 
haha 


Gideon Branson 


Francis Connelly 


Celebrating 20 


Marshall, Carter 
and Dark, Lid. 


RE: S73V3/ 
Sender René Dermott Recipient | Francis Connelly 
Mr Connelly, 


Our mutual 
associate 
contacted me. | 
accept the task 
and have 
attached the 
letter you 
wanted. No 
payment over 
unsecured 
networks, 
please. 


Sincerely, 

Rene 

Attachment: 
Marshall, Carter 
and Dark, Ltd. 


WARNING: An error occurred when accessing data. Do you still want 


RE: RE: 
$73V3/ 
Sender Francis Recipient Gideon 

Connelly Branson 


Mr Branson, 


DELETED 
TEXT: What 
on Earth were 
you thinking?! 
Do you really 
want to split 
the prestige 
about this find 
three ways? | 
have no idea 
how to get it 
into your thick 
skull that 
LESS 
PEOPLE 
MEANS 
MORE FOR 
US. 


| received the 
letter. Thank 
you. 


Respectfully 
yours, 
Mr Francis 


Marshall, 
Carter and 
Dark, Ltd. 


RE: RE: S73V3/ 
Sender Francis Conne Recipient | René Dermott 
Ms Dermott, 


Thank you for 
the file. | will 
send it 
immediately. 


P.S. | have not 
heard of you 
before, but it 
seems we are 
both 
acquaintances of 
Mr Branson. 
Perhaps we 
could have a 
lunch sometime? 


Respectfully 
yours, 
Mr Francis 


Marshall, Carter 
and Dark, Lid. 


RE: RE: RE: 
$73V3/ 


Sender René Dermott 


Mrs Dermott. 


Recipient 


Thank you for 
the money. 


P.S. | have not 
heard of you 
before, but it 
seems we are 
both 


Francis Connelly 


SCP-939-101: Then we didn't feel good. 


SCP-939-101: The doctors made us get lots of checkups 
and we think they got scared so we got scared too. We 
had a really bad headache and the lights bothered us 
and so did noises. We wanted to find lots of cool water 
away from the bright lights until our headache went 
away. 


SCP-939-101: They let us be in the dark and gave us 
lots of water, but the water made us itch all over. When 
we scratched, sometimes our skin came off. We were so 
scared. We kept asking for daddy, but he never showed 


up. 


SCP-939-101: Eventually we didn't have any skin left, 
but it was okay because we didn't need it any more. We 
stopped itching after that. The lights stopped bothering 
us so much and the headache went away after our old 
head came off. Lights still bother us, but not as much as 
they did. We don't see right anymore. 


SCP-939-101: We got so hungry. It was bad, but we ate 
our old skin and our old head. It tasted good, but it was 
still bad. We were still hungry after that and asked for 
food. They gave us food, even our favorites, but none of 
it tasted right to us. All that tasted good was one piece of 
meat. We asked for more of that. 


SCP-939-101: They locked two people in the dark with 
us. We asked them not to, but they didn't listen to us. We 
weren't hungry for a while after that, but we're hungry 
now. 


SCP-939-101: We're very sorry. We know lying is wrong. 
We didn't mean it. 


<End Log, 1037 hrs> 


Footnotes 
1.Several researchers who participated in the vivisections 


acquaintances of 
Mr Branson. 
Perhaps we 
could have as 
little contact as 
possible in the 
future? 


It's never going 
to happen, 


Marshall, Carter 
and Dark, Ltd. 


Log of Conversation Between Owners 


Please input credentials. 
Messages obtained through the chat service. 


*“ Connected to user JerseyBoyz 
*“* Current time is: 04:37:20 AM 


<brewmeisterUSA (04:37:20)> heyyy man 
whats up?? 

<JerseyBoyz (04:38:10)> Nothing much, u? 
<brewmeisterUSA (04:38:53)> got a wierd af 
email 

<brewmeisterUSA (04:39:06)> hang on ill 
send it to you 

<brewmeisterUSA (04:39:40)> work adress 
ok?? 

<JerseyBoyz (04:41:02)> Yeah that's fine. 
<brewmeisterUSA (04:41:41)> k 
<brewmeisterUSA (04:42:11)> lol your never 
gonna believe this shit 

<brewmeisterUSA (04:42:36)> you think its a 


con??? 

<JerseyBoyz (04:44:09)> Hang on I'm looking 
at it... 

<JerseyBoyz (04:50:17)> LOL WTF 
<JerseyBoyz (04:50:34)> This is hilarious! 
"To the proprietors" LMAO! 
<brewmeisterUSA (04:50:51)> i knwo 
right??/? 

<brewmeisterUSA (04:51:12)> its some kinda 
scam. gotta me 

<brewmeisterUSA (04:51:15)> be* 
<JerseyBoyz (04:51:32)> IDK man, this looks 
legit. 

<brewmeisterUSA (04:52:08)> you really 
think so???? hmm hang on ill do some digging 
<JerseyBoyz (04:52:31)> Okay. Hey, did you 
meet Diego last night? 

<brewmeisterUSA (04:53:04)> did i ever!!! 


[IRRELEVANT DISCUSSION OMITTED] 


<brewmeisterUSA (05:07:23)> k so you were 
right they look legit but kinda shadey?? 
<brewmeisterUSA (05:08:40)> like theres like 
no presense online or site or nothing 
<brewmeisterUSA (05:09:14)> but some ppl 
talking about "Professionalism" or some bull 
<brewmeisterUSA (05:09:23)> idk what to 
make of it toh...... 

<JerseyBoyz (05:09:37)> Damn, that IS 
shady... 

<JerseyBoyz (05:09:53)> Hey, be right back. 


** User JerseyBoyz is AFK - reason: idle 
* User JerseyBoyz is Active 


<JerseyBoyz (05:11:36)> | was thinking. 
Should we tell him? 

<brewmeisterUSA (05:12:10)> lol YESS this 
is limey AF he'll love it 


<JerseyBoyz (05:12:27)> Haha okay! See 
you soon, man! 
<brewmeisterUSA (05:12:43)> bye dude 


*“ User JerseyBoyz is Offline 


Foundation documentation regarding the 
incidenton // . 


Field Report 2253-V 


WARNING: THIS DOCUMENT IS ONLY ACCESSIBLE TO THOSE W 


DATE OF INCIDENT: / / 

LOCATION OF INCIDENT: Springfield, New 
Jersey, USA 

ANOMALIES INVOLVED: 2253 

EXTERNAL ORGANIZATIONS INVOLVED: 
Marshall, Carter, and Dark Lid. 
CASUALTIES: No deaths, one hangover 
(treated with aspirin). 

KILLED/CAPTURED: 3 agents, two male and 
one female. 

RESOURCES USED: Standard equipment, 
Class-B amnestics for fifteen police officers, 3 
shot glasses 


TRANSCRIPT OF INTERVIEW 2253-V-4 


MrA K S __, director of the 
Metanormal Occurrences Committee, 
conducted an interview with Sgt. Diana G 
(MTF- - ) about the events of / / 


Mr.A K S ___: Please state your name 


for the record. 


Sgt. Diana G : Huh? Oh, yeah, sure. 
Diana G ,MTF- -. 


Mr.A K S__ : And you were present 
during the events of / / in Springfield, New 
Jersey? Is that correct? 


Sgt. Diana G : Yes, sir. 


Mr.A K S : Right. Well, then, would 
you explain what happened there? Please be 

specific, this is going to be included in the final 
paperwork. 


Sgt. Diana G : Leans forward in chair. 
Okay, so I'm eating lunch when | get the call. 
[Deeper voice, mocking tone] "Get off your 
ass, Di! Some nutters are trying to take the 
place!" 


Mr. A K S : MAmm. 


Sgt. Diana G : So then | say: "Who would 
be stupid enough to assault here of all 
places?" That place is paradise — the best 
assignment | have ever had. Right next to this 
incredible deli that made my sandwich that 
day- 


Mr.A K S _ : [Interrupting] Who? 


Sgt. Diana G : The Parker Brothers Deli. 
Real nice guys, the folks that own it- 


Mr.A K S _ : [Interrupting] No, | mean 
who assaulted it? 


Sgt. Diana G : Oh! Oh. Okay, so | get my 
gear on and hop over there, and | see three 
bastards from Micky Dee's arguing about 


something. There was a lot of p- 
Mr.A K = S_— :"Micky Dee's"? 


Sgt. Diana G : You know. Marshall, 
something something. 


Mr.A K S : Oh, | see. Please 
continue. 


Sgt. Diana G : Right. So these three 
whackos are there. Already secured the 
building, some civvie called the cops, a total 
clusterf[EXPLETIVE OMITTED]. | go through 
the back door and hug the walls until | reach 
the front, and all Hell breaks loose. 


Mr.A K S — : What do you mean by 
that? 


Sgt. Diana G : I'm getting there — so the 
first visual | get is these nutters taking cover 
behind a table that they knocked over or 
something. Glasses, beer, those little novelty 
hipster bottle openers — all being flung at 
them. There were maybe three or four 
customers cowering behind anything they 
could find, too. 


Mr.A K S__ :ls it true that the 
apparition in question was- 


Sgt. Diana G : [Interrupting] Who? 
Steve? 


Mr. A K S : Yes. 


Sgt. Diana G : Oh, yeah. He was pissed. 
Kept them busy while | got around and 
detained the intruders. 


[Long pause, no talking] 


Mr.A K  S_— : You're f[EXPLETIVE 
OMITTED] with me, aren't you? 


Sgt. Diana G : | swear it's the whole 
[EXPLETIVE OMITTED] truth. 


[Longer pause, no talking] 


Mr.A K  S§_— :[EXPLETIVE OMITTED] 


René Dermott, Francis Connelly, and Gideon Branson had been 
monitoring the target for weeks, now. Their rival was good, no doubt 
about that. Outwardly, the place seemed like a normal business. 
Sales and tax records showed no suspicious activity, and the 
background checks on the owners came up clean. No one would 
suspect a thing if they didn't know how they operated. Arrogant, 
always arrogant. Too obvious with their cover, and, in the opinion of 
Mr. Connelly, terribly ordinary. This business required finesse — the 
sort of skill unique to their organization. Evidently, Francis’ 
colleagues disagreed with him, because they were preparing to 
capture their target by force. Their usual methods had fell through, 
and his partners, being unaccustomed to field work, chose to risk it 
all and vanish rather than continue operating in the open. 


"You good, Fran?" Gideon Branson said with genuine concern, a 
rarity in his line of work. 


"Terribly so, Mr. Branson, thank you," replied Francis. 


"You talk like you are from a movie, Connelly," René Dermott 
commented with unconcealed distaste. 


"Why, thank you, dear René," Francis chided with concealed 
distaste. 


"Ahh, that's just how Fran talks, Mrs. D. He don't mean nothing by it, 
| swears," said Mr. Branson. 


They continued to prepare themselves in silence. Each had a small 
firearm in case things came to that, though only one of them knew 
how to use it. Gideon parked their stake-out car in an alley across 
the street, and all three met and casually walked into the brewery. It 
was empty, save for a young man behind the counter and a few 
customers sitting and enjoying their drinks. Almost immediately, the 
hanging lamps began to sway slowly. Then, the light bulbs exploded 
and the building was thrown into darkness. A few people screamed 
when the lights went out, but there was only a moment of blindness. 


A soft green glow radiated from behind the counter. As it grew 
brighter, tables and chairs began to levitate. The faint outline of a 
man became distinguishable in the eerie light, and shot glasses 
hung in the air with the furniture. René Dermott, Francis Connelly, 
and Gideon Branson barely dodged a table when it sped toward 
them without warning. They sought cover behind it after it landed to 
protect themselves from an onslaught of cheap dining furniture. 


"Shoot it, for the love of God! Shoot it!" Francis yelled. 


Several shots were fired into blackness, until no bullets were left, but 
this only seemed to increase the speed of the projectiles. 


The green glow crept closer to the three intruders. Just as Sgt. 
Diana apprehended them, a ghostly voice filled their ears... 


"Tell King George that this is how we party in America." 


Briefing on SLATE THUNDER (Chaos Insurgency 
Orientation) 


Good morning, folks. Help yourself to coffee and bagels. 


For those of you who don't know me already, I'm Colonel Neil 
Hornby, Senior Supervisory Intelligence Officer for the Foundation. 
It's my turn to give the Chaos Insurgency Orientation. In the folder in 
front of you, you'll find a non-disclosure agreement. This briefing is 
classified "sensitive compartmented information", so if you're 
staying, you're signing. Otherwise, grab a bagel on the way out. 


Yes, labcoat and glasses. 


| know you signed a non-disclosure agreement when you joined the 
Foundation, and each time you got promoted. You're what, an El 
Three? You must be new to the whole intel side of the Foundation. | 
know you're used to the whole El Zero through Five security 
clearance system. The eggheads (no offense, my dad was an 
egghead, so | don't have anything against you sciencey types) came 
up with that. It works well enough if you're handling Ess See Pees. 
Foundation Intelligence works a little differently. We still use that, 
kinda the way the US has confidential/secret/top secret, but that 
doesn't mean El Fives can read whatever they feel like getting their 
grubby paws on. We operate on "Need to Know." While you over in 
R&D and the guys in containment and acquisitions get killed if you 
don't have information widely shared, in our side of the house 
people die if information falls into the wrong hands. 


So, like | said, sign the NDA in front of you, or leave. 


Everybody signed? Great. Ms. Buyanova will trade each of you your 
NDA for a SLATE THUNDER packet. 


Sweater vest in the third row, fire away. 


"Slate Thunder". That's the codename for this sensitive 


compartment. As for the packet itself, it contains the information I'll 
be presenting, so feel free to follow along. | don't really care if you 
read or listen. If you have anything you need to ask, don't keep it to 
yourself. This information was compiled by Professor Greg Lewis, 
who is the Foundation's leading expert on the Chaos Insurgency. 
He's been studying them since before most of us were born, myself 
included. 


So, the Chaos Insurgency. They are one of the Foundation's oldest 
enemies. What do we know about them? 


Yes, they're self-serving and ruthless, though that could also 
describe the Foundation or most governments, if you think about it. 
And they are political, there's no doubt about that, but I'm not sure 
I'd say the Foundation isn't. | mean, back in the - actually, you're not 
all cleared to know about that. Let's just say that the Foundation 
plays politics when it has to. 


No, they're not just what the highers-up call personnel who go off 
the reservation. The Foundation does, occasionally, "purge" people, 
and while you really don't want to become such an unperson, that 
(generally) doesn't involve the Chaos Insurgency. 


"The same things as the Foundation only for profit"? I'm not sure I'd 
have worded it that way, but | s'pose it fits - sort of, at least. 


Correct, many of their operatives are just guns for hire. This makes 
our job harder, actually, since keeping track of which PMCs, mercs, 
thugs, guerrillas, and criminals are working for them and which ones 
aren't straight is no easy chore. The Cl - that's "counterintelligence", 
not "Chaos Insurgency" - guys have a whole analytic task force 
devoted to just separating the wolves from the dogs. 


Suit in the back - give that legal pad to Ms. Buyanova! None of you 
are allowed to take notes, nor are you allowed to remove your 
packets from the room. I'm sorry, | thought you all knew better than 
that. Anyway, the packets are numbered, and we'll be collecting 
them at the end.