"Just a little more, Bright! Wondertainment will show 
himself soon, | can feel it!" Chowderclef replied boldly, 
secretly doubting his own words. Even though they had 
been invited by Wondertainment himself, Chowderclef 
now wondered if it was a trap, a practical joke made by a 
reality-bending manchild. 


Suddenly, the horde of Mister Defenders stopped 
attacking. They stood perfectly still, assuming their 
standard "product" pose, arms locked to their sides and 
standing ramrod stiff. The five heroes stood at the ready, 
confused but prepared for whatever the mad doctor 
threw at them next. 


Then they heard laughter. Distant at first, it grew and 
grew until it filled the room, a laugh that was less 
maniacally evil and more genuinely entertained. "Clef," 


said Zero One, deadpan as always, "I believe our host 
has arrived." "He should be showing his face," growled 
Comrade Gunkill, still worn out from the fight with the 
Defenders. "Only coward mocks enemy without looking 
into their eyes." 


"'Coward', Comrade?" came the response, echoing 
around the room. The voice was high-pitched, direct but 
not angry. "Is it cowardice to find amusement in your 
exceptional abilities? To know that you really are as 
strong as | have been lead to believe?" With a flash, 
Doctor Wondertainment materialized in front of the team. 


What a strange being this Wondertainment was! He was 
tall but thin, wearing a purple and yellow suit with a top 
hat on top of his head. He had black, slightly thinning 
hair and pointed ears, but it was his face that really gave 
away his alien nature. He had a pencil mustache just 
above a grin, a horrible, impossibly wide grin that 
seemed to stretch clear off his face, with yellow eyes that 
stared unblinking at the valiant heroes. "| hope my 
appearance doesn't distract you too much, | only took 
this particular form to make you comfortable." 


"You have exactly five seconds to tell us what the hell 
you want with us before we rip you to shreds." said The 
Bodyjacker, angry that this reality bender would insult 
them with sentiments of "comfort" after sending a legion 
of absurdly large juggernauts after them. "You send for 
us, and then you attack us without any provocation, 
without any warni—" 


"A test, Bodyjacker, a mere test!" interrupted 
Wondertainment, his smile still plastered on his face. "| 
have a request of you, and | wanted to know you would 
be able to handle the job!" "What sort of ‘job' did you 
have in mind?" Femme Fatale asked, genuinely curious 
what a being of Doctor Wondertainment's power needed 
from them. 


"You are familiar with the Factory, correct? They are 


sadly the largest collection of losers and fun-suckers this 
universe has ever seen, and now they are branching out 
and encroaching on my territory. They have stolen the 
blueprints to one of my upcoming products, and | need 
YOUR help to get it back!" Wondertainment declared, 
walking around the group but never breaking eye 
contact. "| am prepared to reward you for your efforts, 
should you accept." 


"A reward, huh? What kind of reward?" Chowderclef 
asked, skeptical that this Wondertainment would give 
them anything they actually wanted. 


"In exchange for your help, | will turn myself over to the 
Foundation for one day. One whole day where your 
people can do whatever it is they do to...what do you call 
them? Anomalies? They can run as many tests and ask 
as many questions as they want, and | will not lift a finger 
to stop them. How does that sound?" 


The team pondered this for a moment. True, 
Wondertainment could be lying, but they knew the O5 
council would have their heads if they passed up an 
opportunity to bring the nebulous Doctor 
Wondertainment into custody, even if it was only for one 
day. Even if it went against everything they believed in, 
the team knew there was only one way they could 
answer. 


"Alright, Wondertainment, you've got yourself a deal." 


Wondertainment happily clapped his hands. "Excellent! | 
knew you'd see it my way! I'll give you the location of the 
Factory's outpost that's holding my blueprints, and I'll 
leave the rest to you! Now remember, you must bring the 
plans INTACT. | don't want to have to do all that 
brainstorming all over again!" 


With a puff of smoke, the mysterious doctor and his army 
of Mister Defenders vanished, leaving only in his place a 
plain white notecard. Chowderclef bent over to pick the 


« SCP-948 | SCP-949 | SCP-950 » 


card up, turned it over, and sighed. 


"Pack your bags, team, because we're off to the tundras 
of Antarctica!" 


FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS IN THE NEXT ISSUE OF 
FOUNDATION FORCE FIVE: INTO THE HEART OF 
THE FACTORY! 


+ Foundation Force Five: Issue 82 


Chowderclef grimaced in anger. For the first time in his 
life, he couldn't think of any way to escape, and worse 
still he knew Reptillious knew it. Even so, he had to keep 
a brave face on for his team, and to show the vile lizard 
that he would never give up. "Look at you, you pathetic 
little gecko. You think these chains will hold us? You're 
delusional! The minute you turn your back on us we'll be 
free and ready to kick your scaly ass back to whatever 
dimension you come from!" 


"Dream on, Chowderchump! You and your squad are no 
match for me! Look at you all: bound, helpless, unable to 
stop the destruction of your pathetic little race! | could kill 
you right here, right now if | wanted to...but | won't. Now 
that | have the upper hand, | think I'll torture you for a 
while!" Reptillious laughed, knowing full well that he had 
won. "I'll make you watch as your world burns, and all 
the while you'll know that you were their last chance at 
stopping me, pitiful as you are!" 


"You're WRONG, Reptillious!" shouted Femme Fatale, 
pulling against her restraints. "Even if we fail, the 
Foundation WILL come for you, and they'll recapture you 
just like they always do! You'll never win so long as the 
Foundation exists, and you know it! You should just give 
up no-" 


"SILENCE!" roared Reptillious, furious that this 
disgusting bag of flesh would dare suggest that he was 
weaker than their miserable species! "| am INVINCIBLE, 


a physical god! Your Foundation captured me once, it is 
true, but that was their ONE lucky break! It will NOT 
happen again!" 


Reptillious marched over to the bound heroes, rage 
emanating out of his every movement. "Do you know 
how I've managed to stay alive for so long? After all, you 
barbaric monkeys put me through hell, trapped me in 
acid to burn me alive every second of every day! 
Impossible pain that would cause lesser creatures than | 
to simply curl up and die! But | didn't! | survived, that pain 
is what fuelled my survival, for | knew one day | would 
have my revenge, and that day has come!" 


"And what kind of revenge do you have in mind, you 
svoloch?" spat Comrade Gunkill, glaring at Reptillious 
through his one unbruised eye. "You cannot possibly be 
believing that you alone will be able to kill all of 
humanity!" 


Reptillious paused, and then grinned a sickeningly wide 
grin, showing off rows upon rows of incredibly sharp 
teeth. "Right you are, dalbayob. Powerful as | am, there 
are simply too many of you apes to take on alone. Of 
course, you are assuming that | will BE alone!" 


"What are you getting at, Reptillious?" asked The 
Bodyjacker, unsure if he really wanted to know the 
answer. 


"During my escape, | happened upon some very 
VALUABLE information, the kind I'm sure your 
Foundation would NOT want me to know." Reptillious 
turned his back on the heroes, still grinning to himself. 
"It's a funny thing, really, how your Foundation will lock 
down relatively harmless objects with out a second 
thought, but will only post one or two guards to protect 
very useful objects that anyone with the right strength 
and aptitude could easily access." 


"Such as?" queried Zero One, his face expressionless 


despite their predicament. 


"Such as your little operation in the Dolomites 
mountains." 


Immediately, all five of the heroes snapped to attention, 
now knowing what Reptillious had planned. "Two...two... 
two..." murmured Chowderclef, breaking the silence that 
lingered and finally voicing the horror that had dawned in 
everyone's minds. 


"And the primate gets it at last!" laughed Reptillious. 
"You see, | will not be alone, | will have the best 
company | could ask for: myself! Imagine it, Foundation 
Fools! One of me in every city, in every country, on every 
continent! The human race won't even survive a day 
once | put my plan into action!" 


"You cannot be sure that your plan will work, Reptillious. 
You have no idea what 222 will do to you." said Zero 
One calmly, his words falling flat against the evil 
thoughts flowing through Reptillious' brain. 


"If you wretched worms can use the coffins without 
dying, then | should have no trouble whatsoever! But | 
have delayed long enough to toy with you fools, I'm 
wasting time | could be spending building the army of 
myself. Farewell, meatbags!" Reptillious laughed in 
triumph as he left the heroes to their fate. Now alone, the 
five stayed silent, each trying desperately to come up 
with a solution but failing with each scenario. Truly, their 
situation could not be worse, and though they would not 
admit it, they were all afraid that this would be the day 
when the last line of defense for humanity failed. 


IS THIS REALLY THE END OF HUMANITY? JOIN US 
IN THE NEXT ISSUE OF FOUNDATION FORCE FIVE: 
DRAGON TRIUMPHANT! 


+ Foundation Force Five: Issue 158 


"You cannot be serious, Clef." said Comrade Gunkill, his 
eyes wide with a look of shock and dismay. "He is just 
child, bringing him with us would only end in tears! 
Please be reconsiderin-" 


"| think | can handle myself just fine, Comrade!" 
interrupted Michael Plutonian, his entire body shaking 
with rage. "I'll have you know | am one of the top-ranked 
Galactic Police officers this side of the Milky Way, so | 
have a little more experience than you with these sorts of 
matters!" 


Comrade Gunkill opened his mouth to protest, but 
Chowderclef cut him off. "He's right, Strelnikov. Even if 
his experience is imaginary, for whatever reason 1548 
has set his sights on 'Mike' here and the only way we'll 
find out why is if we bring him with us. Leaving him here 
would only complicate matters further and raise the 
death toll even more. If anyone has any further 
objections, | kindly ask you to keep them to yourselves." 


The team shuffled around awkwardly, but said nothing. 
Of course Chowderclef's plan made them feel 
uncomfortable, but none of them could argue with his 
logic. After what seemed like hours of silence, The 
Bodyjacker finally spoke. "Michael, can you tell us 
ANYTHING else that might help us figure out why 1548 
is after you?" 


"I've told you everything | know, and to be honest | want 
to know just as much as you." said Michael sadly, 
looking down at his feet in shame. "All | know is that 
Plasmox contacted the Galactic Police Department just 
eight days ago, and since then we've been scrambling to 
figure out why he's so fixated on me specifically." 


"And the Foundation learned of this obsession at around 
the same time." remarked Femme Fatale, inwardly 
pitying the boy's predicament. It was bad enough that he 
would never recover from 232's effects, but now he had 
a hateful star after him, and if what happened in Chicago 


was any indication 1548 wouldn't stop sending its plasma 
soldiers until Michael was dead. "Clef, how can we be 
sure that 1548 will stop sending its forces to Earth after 
we leave?" 


"I've told the Foundation to send a message to 1548, 
telling it that we're bringing Michael and to not attack 
Earth after we leave. Of course, | have no idea if 1548 
will listen, So we can't really be sure. We just have to 
hope that the Foundation can handle things while we're 
away." Chowderclef lifted his arm and activated his 
communicator. "Gears, are the modifications complete 
yet?" 


"The modifications to 1958 are complete, Clef. Though | 
do want to remind you that this setup is highly untested, 
and it there is still a high probability that we will not come 
close to light-speed travel." Zero One's voice crackled 
through the speaker on Chowderclef's wrist. "Are you 
sure this is our only option?" 


"With what little time we have left, we have to make do 
with what we've got. Now sit tight, we'll be down there 
shortly. Clef out." Chowderclef closed his communicator, 
let out a small sigh of anticipation, and then faced his 
team. "You all know what the plan is, and | know the 
stakes are absurdly high, as are the dangers. If any of 
you want to stay, | completely understand." 


"And miss out on all the fun? In your dreams, 
Chowderhead!" replied Crow, smirking as best he could. 
"Besides, | hear the stars are lovely this time of year!" 
The rest of the team smiled at their canine companion's 
lighthearted comments. They were all sure that they 
would be facing 1548 together, as a team. 


"Well then, everyone, let's go show that overblown 
nightlight why you DON'T mess with Earth!" 


CAN THE HEROES REALLY DEFEAT THE 
VILLAINOUS PULSAR? FIND OUT IN THE NEXT 


ISSUE OF FOUNDATION FORCE FIVE: CRAB 
NEBULA OR BUST! 


+ Foundation Force Five: Issue 76 


"And that's where we stand, gentlemen," Lord Blackwood 
said. 


"Gentlemen?' Femme Fatale asked quizzically, her 
hands on her hips. 


"Beg your pardon, ma'am," replied the mustachioed man 
in khaki. "I'm not so accustomed to the presence of a 
lady under these circumstances. In any event, our time 
to act is running out. The Czar's men have acquired 
some sort of ring that controls the weather and can 
change the fundamental composition of the elements. If 
we don't stop them soon, Constantinople will be theirs by 
dawn - and of course, if that happens, | fear that your 
time-boat, and your means of egress to your own 
century, shall be out of reach." 


"Impossible!" Comrade Gunkill shouted. "Russians are 
real men! No need for 399 to win battles for them! Must 
be Chechen trick!" 


"Quite probable indeed, Comrade," Zero-One scolded. 
"Foundation archives report that use of anomalous 
artifacts during Crimean War was widespread among 
Russian forces. Recall account by 1867 in our own time 
of battle with Thaumaturge? Happened only two months 
before our arrival here." 


"So you heard about that!" Lord Blackwood beamed. 
"One of my finest hours, if | do say so myself.” 


"Why did we even travel back in time in the first place?" 
Chowderclef responded. "This entire mission has been a 
disaster. Bodyjacker has been kidnapped by Janissaries, 
the Grand Mufti has 276 and is planning to go God- 
knows-where - or when - with it, and | can't even reload 


my Chowdercannon for the next fight if | can't get my 
hands on some decent paprika!" 


"Because," Femme Fatale reminded him, "this is our only 
chance to recover those ancient Hermetic star charts 
before they fall into the hands of the Theosophists - and 
from there to the Fifthists! Have you forgotten what's 
going on in our own time right now ever since 1425 went 
critical?" 


"Agent Fatale's assessment is correct," Zero-One 
replied. "Only hope for future is to stop Russian advance, 
re-acquire 276, and stop 1425 from falling into 
Theosophist hands." 


"| don't know what in damnation you time-traveling 
gentlemen... and lady, of course, are talking about," Lord 
Blackwood chimed in, "but there is one more sticky 
wicket we'll have to deal with before we make our move." 


"What is this wick-sticking, you bourgeois hunting-man?" 
Gunkill snapped. "Out with it?" 


Lord Blackwood cleared his throat before he spoke 
haltingly. 


"You do realize that you're all sea slugs, right?"