(An entity made entirely of cardiovascular 
muscles approaches D-11424 and begins 
"vocalizing" by pumping at irregular intervals 
which push air through pipes on top of its 
"head".) 


D-11424: Okay, never mind! Never mind! 
Going away! That was not a fun time, | — 


(D-11424 approaches a pit with a small fence 
around it. Something shiny, wet, and several 
shades of purple is briefly visible over the 
precipice. D-11424 gags.) 


D-11424: Oh, hey, Arceo, good news. Found 
the source of the smell. 


(D-11424 rounds a corner, and comes upon a 
large, rotting canine head. Inside is a small 
group of large mobile pocket knives, with six 
limbs made out of butterfly knives and wings 
made of several different types of blades. All of 
the knife creatures are huddled around a pool 
of white ooze containing small strips of pink 
meat. Behind the pool is a desk, behind which 
a humanoid dog stands and appears to 
converse with the knives.) 


D-11424: Okay. Nice. 


(D-11424 descends a spiral staircase, and 
appears in a large red open hall, inside of 
which much commotion is audible and 
innumerable entities are visible.) 


D-11424: Arceo, | am going to admit 
something | don't admit often. | was wrong. 
This is definitely not the way | came in. 


Dr. Arceo: (Static.) 
D-11424: Mm. Good talk. | am lost. 
Dr. Arceo: (Static.) 


D-11424: Fantastic. Well, seeing as people 
here seem to speak English for no really good 
reason, | suppose | will... uh... 


(Several pale mouthless humanoid entities, 
with wheel-like appendages instead of legs, 
are seen staring at D-11424 as they approach 
the stairs.) 


D-11424: What? What, road warriors? Do | 
look funny to you? 


(They surround D-11424.) 


D-11424: 'Cause to be completely fair you 
guys look very funny to me. 


(One of the entities points above D-11424.) 
D-11424: Hmm? 


(D-11424 looks up, and sees a large tube 
above him, with several triangle designs on its 
side. Looking down, a large yellow X can be 
seen underneath D-11424's feet.) 


D-11424: Figures. 


(D-11424 is abruptly pulled upwards into the 
tube by some form of suction, and sent 
through a series of tubes. After sustaining 
several injuries, D-11424 is expelled into 
something soft. Static at this point is too 
prominent, and the room too dark, for any 
clear image to be made out. Chirping and 
hooting can be heard.) 


D-11424: Oh Jiminy Cricket, guys. Not only is 
my ankle definitely broken, along with a rib 
probably, this is definitely a pile of birds. 
(Pause.) News update. After running my hands 
over the thing, these are definitely fused birds. 
Wonderful. They did make my landing softer 
though, which is nice. 


(Pause.) 


D-11424: Oh wow, like, a minute went by 
without anything happening. That's new. 
Calming. Comforting, even. 


(Pause.) 


D-11424: Okay, so, it took a while, but | found 
it. The place where | die. | guess this is 
sacrifice enough. Sacrifice to the bird god or 
something. They're pretty noisy. Ow! That dick 
just pecked me! 


(D-11424 does not speak for six minutes, and 
intermittently hums music. Suddenly, all bird 
sounds stop.) 


D-11424: That definitely can't be a good sign. 


(The area brightens. D-11424 looks up, and 
sees a large door opening above him. A large 
amorphous mass, visibly similar to white cloth 
with red stains, reaches down from the 
opening.) 


D-11424: (Sighs.) Bring it. 


(The mass engulfs D-11424. Feed cuts out 
entirely for about 1 minute.) 


D-11424: — whoever else, | don't know if you 
can see or hear this. | can't see nothing in 
here, just dark... stuff. 


(A maroon shape appears, shifting irregularly.) 


D-11424: Oh yay, let's skip the middleman and 
I'll give blood to the cult god directly. What 
even are you? 


(The shape extends and surrounds D-11424 in 
several more cloth-like appendages. One of 
the appendages has a hand at its end, holding 
a knife.) 


D-11424: Shit, help! 


(The appendages completely engulf D-11424. 
The entity emits a loud, low rumble. D-11424 
screams intermittently for about 4 minutes.) 


D-11424: It's cutting into me! 
(48 seconds of static.) 


D-11424: — hear that voice. I'm, uh, honored? 
Not sure what I've got that you want — 


(23 seconds of static.) 
D-11424: — huh. 


(Video returns in full, as the cloth entity 
appears to shove a limp D-11424 into what 
looks like a garbage chute. Several clanks are 
heard as D-11424 descends, before he 
emerges into a naturally-lit square vertical 
shaft, which extends for an undetermined 
distance. Concrete portals from before line all 
four walls of the shaft, out of which piles of 
various meats are seen to fall.) 


D-11424: Where... 


(D-11424 falls into a large body of water. After 
a minute of floating in place, D-11424 is 


forcefully pulled down and towards the original 
SCP-3379 portal. Halfway there, D-11424 
begins to regain consciousness and resist the 
pull. His movements reveal that the pulling 
originates from several tendrils, with hands in 
place of suckers, similar to the ones 
encountered earlier. D-11424 is ejected 
through SCP-3379, and manages to swim to 
the surface.) 


D-11424: |... | survived. Holy shit. 
[END LOG] 


D-11424 was recovered by the onboard SCP-3379 
Research Team and taken into the sick bay. D-11424 
was found to be missing one kidney, two fingers, his 
scuba gear, and was unable to remember anything 
starting from his 6th birthday and ending on his 8th. 
D-11424 reported the experience to be "traumatizing but 
fun overall". 


Footnotes 

1. What is perceived as English by listeners is, upon study of the 
audio, a series of unrelated vocalizations that more closely match 
the mouth movements made by associated entities. Despite the 
mind-affecting nature, testing has revealed no negative effects of 
exposure. 


SCP-3380: Science, Technology, Engineering, 
Divinity 


A surreal number tree visualization. Epsilon ($\epsilon$ or $e$)1 


represents infinitesimal numbers, and omega ($\omega$)2 
represents infinite numbers. Click to enlarge. 


Item #: SCP-3380 
Object Class: Keter 


Special Containment Procedures: Foundation implants in various 
academic groups and organizations will continually monitor 
supporters of STEM for potential SCP-3380 influence. Foundation 
web bots will monitor internet sites for mentions of these supporters 
paired with transfinite numbers, self-harm, and deceased logician 
Kurt Gédel. If an SCP-3380-A instance is identified, the subject will 
be retrieved by Foundation agents in the surrounding area, and will 
be brought to the nearest containment facility. Standard missing 
persons protocols will be used for disinformation on the subject's 
retrieval. Members of the Society of Atheists for the Protection from 
Perilous and Hindering Institutionalized Religions Everywhere 
(SAPPHIRE)S are to be monitored as well due to suspected 
involvement. 


Instances will be contained in safety-proofed humanoid containment 
chambers. No objects with the potential for usage in self-harm are 
allowed in the chamber. If the subject repeats self-harm attempts 
utilizing their body parts (examples include teeth and nails) the part 
may be modified, removed, or safety-proofed. 


Interviewers are suggested to stay outside of the containment 
chamber during interviews. Journals, writing utensils, and other 
items that follow safety regulations may be provided to instances. 


Description: SCP-3380 is a phenomenon affecting various 
advocators of STEM (Science, technology, engineering, 
mathematics) academic fields. All advocators vulnerable to 


SCP-3380 support full funding for STEM fields and classes, and 
often believe that fields outside of STEM should receive little to no 
support or emphasis. In addition, advocators often profess strong 
atheistic beliefs, and often harbour negative judgements concerning 
members of organized religions. The personal background and 
location of the SCP-3380-A instances are not known to change the 
likelihood of being affected, though a majority of SCP-3380 cases 
have occurred in North America and Western Europe. Whether 
SCP-3380 is the result of another anomaly is unknown. 


Individuals affected by SCP-3380 will become an SCP-3380-A 
instance. The instance will carve a diagram resembling the surreal 
number system tree onto their body, using any available methods 
to do so. After five minutes the subject inscribes $\sqrt{\omega}$ 
and $\omega‘2§ at the bottom of the tree, and ceases carving. The 
subject will then undergo psychological changes, which include a 
fixation on transfinite numbers® and Austrian-American logician Kurt 
Gédel, who is usually assigned deity-like qualities despite commonly 
held atheistic beliefs. Further details are in Addendum.3. 46% of 
instances will continue to carve mathematical expressions and 
symbols following initial carving. Beliefs will often morph into what 
appears to be expression of religious nature. 


Based on cognitohazardous interrogation of SCP-3380-A, no 
cognitohazardous, memetic, or infohazardous anomalies are 
suspected to be involved in SCP-3380. All instances have complete 
control over their behavior and actions and are cooperative in 
explaining the rational logic behind their actions. No instances have 
been known to interact with each other prior to being affected by 
SCP-3380, and several had not known of the surreal number system 
before being affected. Usage of amnestics to remove the effects of 
SCP-3380 has failed. The possibility of anomalous psionic or neural 
changes are under investigation. 


As of 1-November-2017, 91 SCP-3380-A instances are in 
containment. 


Addendum.1 - SCP-3380-A034 Interview Log: 


Interviewed: SCP-3380-A034, formerly known as 
Laurence Andry, a 50 year old professor of mathematics. 


Interviewer: Dr. Seung Young, Experimental 
Mathematician and a member of SCP-3380's 
containment team. 


<Begin Log>: 


Dr. Young: A surreal number sequence is nothing 
special, you understand? It's just another way of 
representing data. 


SCP-3380-A034: Haven't you read the proofs? Haven't 
you seen the perfections that line each sentence and 
orbit the symbols? 


Dr. Young: | have read them many times before and 
after joining this research team. There is no hidden text. 


SCP-3380-A034: And how long have you been in 
mathematics for? 


Dr. Young: Is it important? | know how long you've been 
in the field for, but myself and others have been 
analyzing these "perfect proofs" We have seen nothing. 


SCP-3380-A034: Again, how long- 


Dr. Young: A coworker of mine who is older and and 
has been in the field for longer has read this. He saw 
nothing. 


SCP-3380-A034: What? 


Dr. Young: Dr. Jude Gatsby, you've probably read his 
papers. Maybe even met him. He works with us on some 
theoretical stuff. A brilliant thinker and one of the 
smartest friends | know. After several days of careful 
analysis of the proofs you submitted, he found nothing to 
explain your behavior or what you claim. 


SCP-3380-A034: But, no, he'd never lie to us. 


Dr. Young: Who? Dr. Gatsby? 


SCP-3380-A034: These don't denote infinite collections 
of objects, these are battle cries to a better future. Right? 
Yeah, see that lines up with the coldness of the universe. 


Dr. Young: Sir, are you feeling alright? 


(SCP-3380-A034 is silent for ten seconds. The scar 
tissue on his surreal number tree carving begins to 
bleed. Dr. Young presses a button under her desk to 
alert medical staff.) 


SCP-3380-A034: No, that's bullshit. 
Dr. Young: What is- 


SCP-3380-A034: (Shouting) Knuth and Conway® threw 
their flesh into the damned, uh, "hackathon" of blood and 
brought home a treasure for those like me! Like me, 
damnit! They didn't put it in just so everyone could reach 
out of the finite and stroke the infinities like the 
metaphorical angels or demons or whatever you say! 
They put it in for us and us alone! My tribute to put in to 
put in to [sic] their mental strength is a sign of righteous 
intellect that no sacks of misplaced knowledge deserve! 
This is the way to prove the nonexistence of meaning! 


Dr. Young: I- 
SCP-3380-A034: They put it in us and all's right with us. 


Dr. Young: ...Can you elaborate? Are you calm enough 
to proceed with the interview? 


SCP-3380-A034: | won't repeat myself. | followed their 
instructions to the last digit and put it in and all's right 
with us. Not like someone your age would understand, 
ma'am. 


(Subject's wounds begin to leak pus and appear 
inflamed. Medical personnel enter the interview room.) 


Closing Statement: This is the first time I've seen an 


SCP-437: Summer of '91 


Item #: SCP-437 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: A fenced perimeter has been 
established around SCP-437. Foundation horticulturists are to be 
kept on-site to monitor and care for SCP-437-A instances. Testing is 
prohibited pending review by the Ethics Committee. 


MTF Iota-10 ("Damn Feds") is to investigate all Pols 
associated with SCP-437 and place them in Foundation custody 
along with their children. 


Description: SCP-437 is a large grove of trees located in Camp 
Lakewood, Illinois (USA). It contains 64 instances of SCP-437-A. 


SCP-437-A are numerous trees common to North America. Each 
instance has several cankers, atypical interior structures (see 
below), and — rather than sap — contains significant quantities of 
human blood. 


SCP-437 was discovered by the Foundation in 2011, twenty years 
after the summer camp's closure. Employment records for Camp 
Lakewood have not been found. All persons who attended Camp 
Lakewood during the summer of 1991 are Persons of Interest, and 
are still currently at large. 


Addendum 437.1: Interview Log 

Pol-437-15 was brought in after genetic analysis of blood samples 
from an instance of SCP-437-A led to a match in Foundation 
hospital records. 


DATE: 15/09/2014 


INTERVIEWED: Pol-437-15 (Samantha Blanchette) 


SCP-3380-A instance begin to fully doubt themselves 
during an interview. If it wasn't for their sudden outburst 
and bleeding I'd say debates could "cure" the anomaly, 
though their sudden outburst suggests that this only 
strengthens their beliefs. That or something stopped 
them from doubting themselves. 


Addendum.2 - SCP-3380-A057 Note: 


SCP-3380-A057 was Jason Pavolonis, a 25 year old engineer with 
an internet addiction, notably posted on several forums and 
subreddits concerning atheism and men's rights. This note was 
recovered from a blog kept before capture. 


january 16, the year. 


Religion is a virus, a disease wiping through and 
polluting the mind of every fucking idiot who can't see 
that we need to keep science. Keep it like the noisy 
fuckers keep their faith. 

| had found the peak of the number tree and the heavens 
above it. God | cant sit still. 


Epsilon Nought is dancing and burning at the end of the 
number line. The muslims and the christians and the 
jews and the hindus and the buddhists and the shintos 
and the bahai and the others will dance too in that 
burning place. It is all for nought. God im worried about 
everything, | keep hyperventilating. Females dont 
compare to math. 


Ladies and gentlemen, the transfinites. 


This letter is notable for being the first instance of the phrase 
"Epsilon Nought"’ in relation to the object of worship in SCP-3380. 


Addendum.3 - SCP-3380-A077 Interview Log: 


Interviewed: SCP-3380-A077, formerly known as Brian 
Harmon, an unemployed 37 year old former statistical 
biologist. 


Interviewer: Dr. Mariana Ascariado, Psychological 
Disorder Specialist and a member of SCP-3380's 
containment team. 


<Begin Log>: 


Dr. Ascariado: You held a position as a biostatician at, 
uh, Campbell Biology Labs in Pittsburgh, is that correct?