Il y a seulement deux choses que je peux 
garantir pour le futur: 


1. Je serai toujours un homard. 
2. Je vais tous vous tuer. 


Vas au diable. 


| am sorry for the trouble that I've caused you. 
I'm still getting the hang of this "magic" thing. 


Here are my laws: 


1. | will always be a hermit crab. 
2. 1am hungry. 


Happy Thanksgiving. 
« SCP-2826 | SCP-2827 | SCP-2828 » 


SCP-2828: Antimemetic Body Part 


Item #: SCP-2828 
Object Class: Safe Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2828 is currently 
uncontainable and is ubiquitous in global populations. However, risk 
of breach of security or public discovery is deemed very low, as it is 
undetectable without the use of strong mnestics. 


Undercover Foundation operatives, primarily members of MTF &-7 
("Forget Me Nots"), posing as high-ranking employees in 
pharmaceutical and chemical manufacturing companies are to 
monitor any projects aimed at production of chemicals with mnestic 
capabilities, procure prototype batches to test for effectiveness at 
facilitating perception of SCP-2828, and either halt the research or 
allow it to continue based on the results. Foundation operatives are 
to consistently search through Internet posts and scientific journals 
for anything that might be referring to SCP-2828 and investigate 
accordingly. 


With MTF n-10 ("See No Evil") and MTF n-11 ("Savage Beasts") on 
standby, descriptions of SCP-2828's appearance, texture, sound, 
odor, or taste are to be tested for safety with D-class personnel by 
double-blind RAISA or antimemetics department personnel and 
redacted or expunged accordingly. 


Description: SCP-2828 is an antimemetic and nearly undetectable 
part of the human body located behind the ear. The role of 
SCP-2828 in bodily systems is virtually nonexistent, and is 
hypothesized to be fully vestigial. 


SCP-2828 can only be perceived through the use of Class-W or 
stronger mnestics, but only to a limited degree if at all. When it is 
perceived, it can only be perceived with one sense’. Whichever 
sense is used to perceive SCP-2828 first by a given subject is the 


instrument to feature more prominently, it is also possible that 
corruption of SCP-333-B is unavoidable due to general inability to 
perform SCP-333-A precisely enough. 


Experiment Logs SCP-333-A-B 1-9 are pending declassification. 


Addendum 333-5: Cost-benefit analysis RE: SCP-333 as a 
Foundation asset. 


« Rapid long-distance transit. 


© If used for transit between facilities, SCP-333-B could 


allow for rapid dissemination of SCP objects in the 
event of a containment breach. This risk should not be 
taken lightly. 


Cloning of personnel, items, SCP objects, etc, effectively 
granting the Foundation access to infinite resources. 
A contingency planincase of , ,or Class events. 


© Personnel critical to the operation of the Foundation, a 


cache of useful SCP objects, and a store of various 
provisions and resources could be left within SCP-333- 
B. This would ensure their survival, provided 
performance of a suitable copy of SCP-333-A may take 
place. 


A garrison and armory. 
The song itself could be utilized as several different 
Foundation facilities simultaneously. 


© Particularly dangerous Euclid and Keter objects could 


each be deposited in their own instance of SCP-333-B. 


MH If SCP-333-A is performed as it was prior to an 
SCP object being deposited, SCP-333-B will 
manifest without the SCP. 

Hi If SCP-333-A is performed as it is following an 
SCP object being deposited, SCP-333-B will 
manifest with the SCP present. 


© Performances of identical copies of SCP-333-A could 


only sense the subject will ever be able to perceive it with. For 
example, if a subject saw SCP-2828 before he or she felt, heard, 
smelled, or tasted it, then the subject would not be able to ever feel, 
hear, smell, or taste it. 


This effect extends to all forms of communication; a subject who has 
seen SCP-2828 is unable to understand a written or verbal 
description of its smell, descriptions of the sound? it makes, et 
cetera. Amnestics are capable of erasing memories of SCP-2828, 
but the subject will still be unable to use any other sense than the 
one he or she first used to perceive it to perceive it again. This is 
thought to be because SCP-2828 permanently alters the brain 
chemistries of those who perceive it. 


A subject who has never observed SCP-2828 under the influence of 
mnestics can be told and fully comprehend information regarding 
SCP-2828 that uses more than one sense to describe it. However, if 
said subject uses mnestics afterwards and attempts to observe 
SCP-2828 using any sense, [REDACTED]. It is therefore imperative 
that no Foundation personnel learn of any complex or relatively 
detailed description of SCP-2828's appearance, texture, sound, 
odor, or taste (see Special Containment Procedures). 


Other than this, SCP-2828 poses no immediate danger and 
possesses no further anomalous properties. 


+ Partial Test Log 


As of 05/26/19 , all tests regarding SCP-2828 
are to be reported to Project Director A and 
filled out in the following format: 


Date: MM/DD/YYYY 


Test Administrator: [Name of personnel 
administering test] 


Test Subject: [Designation or name of test 
subject] 


Foreword: [Preface explaining testing 


procedures] 


First Sense: [First sense used by Subject to 
perceive SCP-2828] 


Results: [Summary of test results and 
findings] 


Notes: [Optional administrator notes] 
Date: 05/09/19 

Test Administrator: Dr. A 

Test Subject: D-206344 


Foreword: Subject was given a mg dosage 
of Class-W mnestics and ordered to look at the 
area behind Dr. A __'s ears and describe 
what she saw. Subject was then ordered to 
feel the area under supervision of two armed 
guards and describe what she felt. 


First Sense: Sight 


Results: Subject successfully described 
SCP-2828's appearance, stating [DATA 
EXPUNGED}], matching the description 
provided by Dr.A —__. When ordered to feel it, 
Subject stated she could not "feel anything at 
all." She went on to say she could "see [her] 
hand touching the thing, but [she could not] 
feel a damn thing." 


Notes: SCP-2828 seems to maintain a 
consistent appearance no matter the observer. 


Date: 05/30/19 
Test Administrator: Dr. J 


Test Subject: D-206344 (Subject A), 


D-206345 (Subject B) 


Foreword: Following Dr. A __'s promotion to 
Project Director, Dr. J took over testing. To 
minimize repercussions from possible 
unforeseen consequences, Dr. J was not 
given mnestics. 


Subject B, who was blind from birth, was 
administered a mg dosage of Class-W 
mnestics, ordered to feel the area behind 
Subject A's ears, and describe what he felt to 
Subject A. Subject A was ordered to describe 
what she heard Subject B say. Subject B was 
ordered to type his description with a Braille- 
to-English typewriter, and Subject A was 
ordered to orate the description. 


First Sense: Subject A: sight; Subject B: touch 


Results: Subject B reported [DATA 
EXPUNGED] and related the description to 
Subject A. When asked to repeat what Subject 
B said, Subject A claimed he had not spoken 
to her. Subject B repeated himself, and 
Subject A claimed he must have been 
speaking in another language and was unable 
to repeat what she heard. Dr. J was able to 
hear and understand Subject B's description. 


After Subject B typed his description and 
handed it to Subject A, she claimed the "letters 
moved" and she could not "find the words." 
When Subject B typed up a second, identical 
description and handed it to Subject A, she 
claimed it was a completely blank piece of 
paper. Dr. J was able to read and 
understand Subject B's description. 


Notes: SCP-2828's antimemetic effect seems 
to extend to verbal and written forms of 


communication. |,Dr.J __, have listened to 
Subject A's description of SCP-2828's 
appearance and can comprehend it as well as 
Subject B's description of how it feels. This 
must be because | have not witnessed 
SCP-2828 directly for myself. | am putting ina 
request for a personal dose of Class-W 
mnestics. 


Request approved.—Antimemetics Department 
Director [REDACTED] 


Date: 06/17/19 
Test Administrator: Dr. F 


Test Subject: Dr. J (Subject A), D-206392 
(Subject B) 


Foreword: Subject A was familiar with 
descriptions of both SCP-2828's appearance 
and texture beforehand. He received a mg 
dosage of Class-W mnestics while blindfolded, 
wearing ear plugs, and having his nose taped 
shut. Subject B was positioned in front of 
Subject A so as to provide a direct line of sight 
with SCP-2828. Subject A's blindfold was 
removed and was asked to describe what he 
saw. 


First Sense: Subject A: sight; Subject B: none 


Results: [DATA EXPUNGED]. Dr. J could 
not be saved. 


Notes: [DATA EXPUNGED]. Special 
Containment Procedures have been revised. 
Requesting upgrade to Keter. 


Request denied. SCP-2828 has been 
upgraded to Euclid.—O5- 


COGNITOHAZARD WARNING; LEVEL 3 CREDENTIALS REQUIRED 


If you are reading this, then you have 
undergone enough memetic resistance 
conditioning, according to your credentials, to 
be safely permitted access to the following 
classified information. However, due to the 
strong cognitohazardous nature of SCP-2828, 
some information must be left out for your 
safety.—Dr. F 


The anatomy of SCP-2828 is outwardly similar to that of 
the outer ear, possessing a small auricle. It consists 
mainly of otherwise typical epidermal and dermal skin 
cells, with some internal cartilage and very minute 
amounts of fat, but no nerves or blood vessels. 


SCP-2828-1 denotes cells that make up SCP-2828 
instances. 


No SCP-2828-1 instances observed thus far have ever 
made any movements whatsoever. Chemical tests on 
SCP-2828-1 have produced no reactions on the part of 
SCP-2828-1; instead of interacting with molecules 
present in SCP-2828-1, all chemicals seem to "bounce 
off" the membrane. Protein pumps and channels are 
nonfunctional in a similar manner. Furthermore, no 
metabolic processes have been recorded to occur within 
SCP-2828-1 instances. All SCP-2828-1 instances 
observed thus far are "frozen" in an identical manner. As 
a result, all SCP-2828-1 instances are indestructible 
through conventional means. 


An anomalous and indestructible substance, referred to 
as SCP-2828-2, found between SCP-2828-1 instances 
lock SCP-2828-1 in their set configuration. The natures 
of SCP-2828-1 and SCP-2828-2 make SCP-2828 
effectively indestructible, which has somewhat hindered 
research. 


SCP-2828's small size makes it only effective as a 


defensive benefit against puncture wounds to a very 
specific area of the throat from a specific angle. This 
makes it particularly effective at providing protection from 

3 and is speculated to have been evolved to suit 
this purpose. Testing with SCP- -EX, one of the last 

, greatly supports this hypothesis. had innate 
mnestic qualities and kept extensive records on human 
anatomy and behavior that they shared amongst 
themselves. Because of this, SCP-2828 would have 
incapacitated these natural predators of early hominids 
while leaving normal early humans unharmed. 


With all now extinct, SCP-2828 serves no further 
obvious function and poses a significant 
cognitohazardous threat to Foundation personnel. If a 
subject learns of complicated descriptions of SCP-2828 
that use more than one sense and then uses mnestics to 
observe it firsthand, the subject will experience multiple 
tonic-clonic seizures, several strokes, and cerebral 
hemorrhaging. It is therefore imperative that precautions 
be taken to avoid future complications. 


Addendum 2828-01: SCP-2828 was discovered after Dr.A ,a 
Foundation researcher and one of Site- 's clinicians, was 
transferred to the antimemetics department in 19 . As with all 
antimemetics department staff, she began a Class-W mnestic 
regimen. She continued to act as a Site- clinician. Two days later, 
on / ,Dr.A performed a semiannual checkup on Agent F and 
noticed a peculiarity behind his ears. When she touched the area, 
she was unable to receive any tactile stimulus whatsoever. She 
touched the same area on herself with the same results. 
Recognizing the obvious anomalous influence, she contacted Site 
Director S immediately. 


Addendum 2828-02: Following the events of 06/17/19 , all tests 
regarding SCP-2828 have been suspended by order of Site Director 
S : 


Footnotes 
1. As in sight, touch, hearing, smell, or taste. Thermoception, 
proprioception, nociception, equilibrioception, and 


mechanoreception do not apply. 

2. Hypothesized to be related to the sound of a normal heartbeat. 
3. A nocturnal and highly intelligent anomalous species that preyed 
on early humans. They are known to have had large libraries 
dedicated to the study of human anatomy and behavior and 
controlled human populations like livestock. They died off suddenly 
about years ago for previously unknown reasons. 


« SCP-2827 | SCP-2828 | SCP-2829 » 


SCP-2829: Liposlugtion 


Item #: SCP-2829 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: All instances of SCP-2829 are 
to be contained in a standard biological containment cell at Area-12. 
All personnel entering the containment cell must wear a level A 
hazardous materials suit at all times. All personnel coming in contact 
with SCP-2829 must also be on a strict regimen of depressant drugs 
to suppress endorphin production and must be rotated every month 
after a thorough psychological evaluation. Each instance of 
SCP-2829 is to be tagged with a Teflon-coated chip for 
identification, with new instances being tagged as early as possible. 


Description: SCP-2829 is a set (51 individuals at the time of 
writing) of amorphous organisms superficially resembling banana 
slugs (Ariolimax californicus), save for the presence of a head. The 
cells of SCP-2829 instances are structurally similar to human 
adipocytes", with the exception of an organelle of unknown function 
fused to the nucleus and a smaller, more folded smooth 
endoplasmic reticulum. DNA analysis of the cell nucleus shows a 
89+6 percent similarity to baseline human DNA. 


SCP-2829 reproduces sporadically through budding; the 
circumstances causing this process are not fully understood at 
present but are currently thought to be linked to feeding events. 
Newly-formed daughter organisms instinctively approach humans 
more eagerly. 


SCP-2829 instances are physically active and docile in 
temperament, and often play by racing each other or competing to 
form towers by stacking themselves. Around humans, SCP-2829 will 
become excited and bounce in place. If a nearby person approaches 
SCP-2829, SCP-2829 will move towards that person and climb onto 
any exposed skin. After nuzzling the skin, SCP-2829 will secrete a 


mixture of neurotransmitters that numb the pain response and 
trigger endorphin production in the person's body, then slowly fuse 
with the skin. Once SCP-2829 is fully fused and the person reaches 
a heightened euphoric state, SCP-2829 will absorb the person's 
excess fat then enter a dormant state for several minutes. 
SCP-2829 will then gradually leave the body. The entire process 
typically lasts approximately 20 minutes. SCP-2829 does not seem 
to gain any mass during this process, but tests have shown a 
possible correlation between the amount of fat absorbed from the 
subject and the endorphin concentrations just before SCP-2829 
exits the body. 


Addendum: 47 instances of SCP-2829 were recovered from the 
basement of an abandoned home in , [X, along with the corpse 
of the house's owner, Dr. Javier Pineda, a former Prometheus Labs 
employee. An assortment of scientific equipment and various 
reference books and notebooks were found in the home; the books 
were damaged beyond recognition, but a series of video logs was 
partially recovered. 


+ show video log transcripts