Subject: Agent Luminus 


Item Retrieved: One (1) copy of issue 1 of The X-Men (1963), in fair 
condition 


Item Lost: Casio wrist-watch band, but not main watch body 
Notes: This was in mint condition when it was stolen out of the back 
of my moving truck after | was reassigned the last time! 


Item Retrieved: One (1) 10ml syringe, filled with a mixture of 
sodium pentathol, scopolamine, and [REDACTED] 

Item Lost: Coffee cup, but not contents 

Notes: Ow! Dammit. Well, | could have really used this back when | 
was actually interrogating that guy from the Church. 


Item Retrieved: One (1) iPod nano, blue 

Item Lost: One (1) iPod nano, blue, engraved 

Notes: How am ! going to explain to my girlfriend that | found my old 
iPod and lost the one she got me for my birthday? 


Subject: Dr. Mathanach 


Item Retrieved: One (1) small iron top 
Item Lost: One (1) bowtie 
Notes: Damn it, that was my last one. 


Item Retrieved: One (1) silhouette target, multiple bullet holes 
Item Lost: One (1) bowler hat 
Notes: You've got to be kidding me, I've had that hat for years! 


Note: Dr. Mathanach has requested that if anyone should retrieve 
his hat, that it is returned to him immediately. 


Note: None of us are going to find your hat, Doctor. We can only 
retrieve things we've lost. —Dr. Neiman 


Subject: Dr. Mijak 


Item Retrieved: One (1) 20-franc bill 
Item Lost: One (1) set of prescription glasses 
Notes: Really? Francs? Who in the world still accepts these? 


Item Retrieved: One (1) set of documents. 
Item Lost: One (1) labcoat 
Notes: W-wha-? No, no! Hold on, give me one more test! Gah, 


Gerald is going to kill me... 


Note: Confiscated documents were revealed to be a rather... 
unfriendly document criticizing Sr. Researcher Gerald. Dr. Mijak 
confessed he wrote the document after a particularly difficult day of 
work, though he insists he never meant to show them to the 
Researcher. 


Subject: Dr. Neiman 


Item Retrieved: One (1) car tire chain 
Item Lost: One (1) chewing gum wrapper 
Notes: Gee, if only | had found this before | bought replacements. 


Item Retrieved: One (1) box of stick butter, empty. Contents had 
apparently melted and leaked out. 

Item Lost: One (1) dollar bill 

Notes: Yeewww. This was unaccounted for after a grocery run last 
week. I'm going to find sun-melted butter all over my car trunk, aren't 
bess 


Item Retrieved: One (1) card-wallet, including contents 
Item Lost: Wad of assorted store receipts 
Notes: Bingo! 


Subject: Dr. Diamond 

Note: Dr. Diamond has requested testing on whether or not 
SCP-1162 is sentient, specifically if it can respond to written 
messages. Also, he wishes to find out where exactly the lost items 
disappear to, and if there is a correlation regarding location of 
disappeared objects. 


Item Retrieved: A large amount of fecal matter in a plastic bag. 
Item Lost: One (1) folded-up piece of wide-ruled notebook paper 
with “How are you doing today” written on the inside in pencil. 
Notes: / remember this! | was going to sell it to a science lab for 
DNA testing like, a year ago. Don't look at me like that. 


Item Retrieved: One (1) pair of tie-dyed socks, the size for a 7th 


grader. 

Item Lost: One (1) iPod playing “For Your Love” by the Yardbirds 
on loop setting on full volume. 

Notes: We could still hear the music after the device disappeared, 
although it did sound more distant. Investigation of the sound 
revealed the device stuck inside a wall on the floor directly under 
this one. Maybe SCP-1162 teleports all of the items lost below itself 
somewhere in the ground. This should be investigated. 


Item Retrieved: One (1) purple round ball. 

Item Lost: One (1) small metallic tracking device courtesy of the 
SCP electronics development team. 

Notes: Device was recovered from an oil tanker in the middle of the 
Red Sea. 

-Well, there goes that hypothesis. 


Subject: Dr. M 


Item Retrieved: Keys to Dr.M __'s dormitory. 
Item Lost: Standard Foundation ID Badge. 


Item Retrieved: Standard Foundation ID Badge. 
Item Lost: Replacement Foundation ID Badge. 
Notes: */EXPLETIVE]’ Dr. M 


Head Researcher Notes: We did warn you about the ID baages, Dr. 
M _ .I hope you like paperwork, because there's a lot of it in your 
future. 


Subject: Dr. H 


Item Retrieved: One (1) wooden sword replica 
Item Lost: One (1) pencil 
Notes: "Cool, | thought | lost this when | moved!" Dr. H 


Item Retrieved: One (1) paper fan 
Item Lost: Package of cookies 
Notes: "Aww, | wanted to eat those for lunch today." 


Item Retrieved: One (1) umbrella 

Item Lost: One (1) 20 dollar bill 

Notes: "/ dont like this thing anymore, it's messing with me." Dr. 
H 


Subject: Dr. D 

Item Retrieved: One (1) 50cm Foam Sword 

Item Lost: One (1) 10 dollar bill 

Notes: "/ lost this when | was 12, but it's not worth anything near 10 
dollars." 


Item Retrieved: One (1) photo, burnt beyond recognition 
Item Lost: One (1) pocket watch 
Notes: "That was a family heirloom." Dr. D 


Subject: Dr. A 

Note: Dr. A was using SCP-1162 in an effort to find several 
important documents he had lost. He had, on his possession, 100 
envelopes containing junk mail. 

Note: / didn't lose them! | just temporarily forgot where they were! 


Item Retrieved: One (1) mathematics revision guide. 

Item Lost: One (1) Piece of junk mail from a Payment Protection 
Insurance Refund Firm. 

Notes: Lost this when | was 16. Thank god | didn't need it. 


Item Retrieved: One (1) $20 Bill, soaking wet. 
Item Lost: An unknown item in the pile. 
Notes: Oh great, my wallet went through the wash, didn't it? 


Item Retrieved: One (1) Wallet, soaking wet, but not contents. 
Item Lost: One (1) Foundation Lab Coat. 

Notes: Great, my labcoat's gone and my wallet DID go through the 
wash. [EXPLETIVE REDACTED]!! 


Item Retrieved: One (1) set of Documents relating to [DATA 
EXPUNGED]. 

Item Lost: One (1) set of AA Batteries from a personal torch 
Notes: Finally! 


Head Researcher Notes: On closer inspection, it appeared that 
these were the first draft of the documents he was seeking, which he 
already had a copy of. The final draft that he was looking for never 
surfaced. SCP items are not to be used as an excuse for not making 
regular backups. 


Subject: Dr. Alden 

Note: Doctor Alden had five (5) standard #2 pencils on her person 
Item Retrieved: Dessicated carcass of a tarantula spider 

Item Lost: One (1) #2 pencil 

Notes: /EXPLETIVE] Bristle escaped her cage a few months ago 
and | hadn't seen her since! 


Subject: Dr. M 

Item Retrieved: Replacement ID Card from previous test 
Item Lost: Small binder full of important documents 
Notes: "/EXPLETIVE]."-Dr. M 


Subject: D-6141 

Note: Subject was instructed to remove two items from SCP-1162 in 
two consecutive actions. 

Item 1 Retrieved: One VHS tape in SP mode labeled "Home 
security 1987/05/02". Subject was noted to become ecstatic upon 
retrieval of item. 

Item 1 Lost: One issued sock 

Item 2 Retrieved: One half empty pack of Camel brand cigarettes 
Item 2 Lost: One VHS tape in SP Mode labeled "Home security 
1987/05/02" 

Notes: Subject immediately attempted to thrust hand back into 
SCP-1162 upon realizing the first item retrieved had been lost again. 
Subject was restrained before this could be accomplished. Upon 
questioning, D-6141 stated "That was the video from the night she 
died, and the night | was arrestea". 


Subject: Dr. Opal 
Item Retrieved: One (1) brand pornographic magazine 
Item Lost: One (1) pair of socks 


Notes: "Oh boy. | remember buying that when | was 13 and it got 
lost in the abyss of my bed." - Dr. Opal 


Head Researcher Notes: Yes, it got "lost." And I'm sure your parents 
aren't the ones who did the laundry. Think about it. 


Subject: Dr. 

Item Retrieved: The dessicated remains of one (1) abnormally long 

burrito 

Item Lost: All hair on head, excepting a single strip down the middle 

Notes: "/ remember this from my 16th birthday. | had an obsession 

with burritos back then. | [EXPLETIVE] hate mohawks, though." - Dr. 
(All hair grew back at a normal rate) 


Subject: Dr. Bell 

Item Retrieved: One (1) brown teddy bear 

Item Lost: Left sock 

Notes: "/ remember going absolutely berserk when | lost this at 
Summer Camp when | was 5. Could never find it..."- Dr. Bell 


Subject: Dr. Westrin 

Item Retrieved: A broken Scranton Reality Anchor 

Item Lost: Dr. Westrin's house keys. 

Notes: Let's just say that | was hunting down a reality bending 
entity, and | may have lost it in the car. That was both a large 
medical bill, and tons of paperwork. -Dr. Westrin 


Head Researcher Notes: Next time, consider taking two. 


Subject: Agent Immanuel 

Item Retrieved: One (1) Nokia Lumia 635 smartphone 
Item Lost: Standard issue Foundation security radio 
Notes: Son of a [EXPLETIVE REDACTED]! 


Addendum: It's highly advised not to bring any sort of 
communication devices to this chamber. -Dr. 


Head Researcher Notes: It's highly advised not to bring anything 
you would have to fill out paperwork to explain losing to this 
chamber, as well. Luckily, we keep a stack in the observation 
chamber for just such occasions. 


Subject: Agent Ul 

Item Retrieved: One (1) "A Flock of Seagulls" album. 

Item Lost: One (1) USA Two Dollar Bill 

Notes: This Album is worth more than two dollars. -Agent Ul 


Subject: Unmanned Exploratory Unit - Serial# [DATA EXPUNGED] 
(deployed at the request of Dr. Bridgeman) 

Item Retrieved: One (1) Non-ISO compliant hex-wrench type shaft 
bolt. Serial number corresponds with service records of unit used in 
experiment. 

Item Lost: One (1) x86 based microcontroller array from the 
secondary steering system 

Notes: A// future losses incurred as a result of the use of robotic or 
autonomous resources in tests with SCP-1162 will be subtracted 
from individual research budgets or salaries, unless previously 
approved by a Level 3 or higher researcher. Seriously, Bridgeman, 
those things cost more to fix than we spend acquiring some D-Class 
personnel. 


Subject: Dr. Jeremaiah 

Item Retrieved: One (1) Trezor wallet containing —_Bitcoin 
Item Lost: One (1) sock 

Notes: /EXPLETIVE] YEAH! WOOOOOO!!! 


Note: Following the discovery of the wallet, Dr. Jeremaiah 
immediately resigned his post as a Foundation researcher. He was 
discharged from the Foundation the following day. 


Subject: Dr. B 

Item Retrieved: One (1) pint of subject's blood, donated earlier in 
the week. 

Item Lost: Subject's Lunchbox, contents unaffected. 


Notes: What the [EXPLETIVE] am | supposed to do with this?! 
Head Researcher Notes: Take it back to the medical bay. What else 
would you do with it? 


Subject: Researcher S 


Note: ResearcherS — came in with a large number of spherical 
objects, varying in size from 1 mm in diameter to 20 cm in diameter, 
with the intention of determining how items that are lost are selected 
by SCP-1162. ResearcherS wore a one-piece jumpsuit instead 
of the standard Foundation researcher uniform and carried nothing 
else on his person to minimize the chance of an unintended item 
being taken by SCP-1 162. 


Item Retrieved: One (1) U.S. penny 
Item Lost: One (1) sphere, 8 cm in diameter 
Notes: 


Item Retrieved: One (1) empty plastic water bottle 
Item Lost: One (1) sphere, 5.5 cm in diameter 
Notes: 


Item Retrieved: One (1) broken half of an unmarked compact disc 
Item Lost: One (1) sphere, 10.5 cm in diameter 
Notes: 


Item Retrieved: One (1) sphere, 8 cm in diameter 

Item Lost: One (1) sphere, 2.5 cm in diameter 

Notes: The number of items retrieved before previously taken items 
start to return is consistent with Sr. Researcher Grant's experiment. 
-Researcher S 


Using data from 75 repetitions of the experiment, Researcher S 
determined that spheres selected were normally distributed with 
regard to size, with a mean diameter of approximately 7.25 cm and 
a standard deviation of approximately 2.5 cm. Spheres above 15 cm 
in diameter were not selected during any of the trials, though it is 
unknown whether this was because SCP-1162 cannot take items 
that do not fit within it, or because the probability of an object of that 
size being selected based on the normal distribution is 0.1% or 


below. 


Note: These spheres had no personal significance, so we've yet to 
determine if the personal meaning attributed to an object influences 
the probability that the object is taken. However, it seems clear that 
meaningless items are truly taken at random. -Researcher S 


Subject: Researcher Clark 

Item Retrieved: One (1) pair of white brand earbuds 

Item Lost: One (1) $20 bill 

Notes: / bought those at the dollar store, there's no way they cost 
that much. Ripoff. -Researcher Clark 


Item Retrieved: One (1) rock with a crudely drawn face on it 

Item Lost: One (1) fountain pen 

Notes: / made this as a kid before | lost it. | suppose it's a fair trade. 
-Researcher Clark 


Item Retrieved: One (1) decaying piece of General Tso's chicken 
Item Lost: One (1) blank checkbook 

Notes: / haven't eaten General Tso’'s in at least two months. | 
wouldn't touch that. -Researcher Clark 


SCP-1163: Face Swapper 


Item #: SCP-1163 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1163 is to be contained in 
a 3.5 by 3.5 meter cell containing a small bed, and a nailed-down 
lamp. Food and water will be supplied periodically through a secured 
dumbwaiter, but sugary foods are only to be given as rewards for 
cooperation. SCP-1163 is only to be directly visited under authorized 
research or psychological evaluation.(see Addendum 1163-B). 
When meeting Foundation Staff, both the staff member and 
SCP-1163 must be contained before meeting, to prevent a 
containment breach caused by SCP-1163’s anomalous properties. 
All other verbal interaction with SCP-1163 is to be performed 
through the intercom system. 


Description: SCP-1163 is an entity identifiable most easily by its 
abnormal facial structure, characterized by its unusually green eyes, 
large nose, and wide mouth. 


When a human is in sight of SCP-1163, SCP-1163 is capable of 
immediately causing the other party’s face to restructure into that of 
SCP-1163, while SCP-1163 will restructure its face into that of the 
other party. While the facial structure will be identical, skin tone will 
not be changed, and the face will be proportional to the size of the 
head. After the faces are switched (a process that takes between 
three and twelve seconds, depending on structural differences), the 
body that has the face of SCP-1163 will be controlled by SCP-1163, 
while the body with the face of the other party will be fully controlled 
by the other party, as if it was their own body. SCP-1163 is fully 
capable of switching back and forth, and there seems to be no limit 
to the amount of time SCP-1163 can spend with a body, or how 
rapidly SCP-1163 can switch between bodies. Though the facial 
structure shifts, the tissue is the same, and any blemishes, marks, 
scars, facial hair, or wrinkles will be conserved. A person missing a 


part of their face will not have the part recovered by the introduction 
of SCP-1163. 


SCP-1163 appears to have a mental capacity similar to a child 
around 6 years old. It is cooperative, and in particular is easily 
coerced with sweet foods. SCP-1163 will readily communicate 
verbally, but does not seem to suffer from boredom or loneliness 
when not spoken to. Though the body used seems to have some 
effect on the voice, SCP-1163 generally has a high-pitched voice, 
and a noticeable stutter. 


SCP-1163 currently inhabits the body of a Caucasian male D-Class. 
The body that the D-817 was switched into was immediately 
terminated to avoid complications.