Item Description: A VHS tape labeled "Jack Nicholson Wearing 
Less Than One Shirt". Subjects who view the contents of the tape 


become unable to perceive more than 50% of any object at a time 
unless applied amnestic treatment. 

Date of Recovery: 05-02-2017 

Location of Recovery: Cedar Springs, Colorado 

Current Status: In a storage locker in Site-27. 


Item Description: A fully functioning 1:100 scale replica of a 
Colnago Arabesque bicycle. Despite the object's size, it possesses 
the same velocity and acceleration capabilities as a regular 
Arabesque. 

Date of Recovery: - -2016 

Location of Recovery: Nagano, Japan 

Current Status: In storage. 


Item Description: A standard iPhone 5-7 charger and plug that 
when inserted into any iPhone of model 5-7 will charge the phone 
instantly. This does not work if other plugs or chargers are used. 
Date of Recovery: 5/6/17 

Location of Recovery: Tampa, Florida 

Current Status: In Site-19s break room for general use. 


Item Description: A standard NERF dart gun with lazer sight 
attachment that, when fired, acts as a regular 9 millimeter handgun. 
Fires Nerf darts at the same velocity as a regular 9 millimeter round 
and the same force and lethality as expected from a projectile of this 
speed. 

Date of Recovery: 3/4/10 

Location of Recovery: Evidence Locker in Australia 
Current Status: In Dr Rhodes office in case of emergency 

Note: Funniest. Death. Ever. - Dr Rhodes in light of incident 1456-A 


Item Description: A bus stand located that causes all buses with 
the stand as their destination to arrive 10 minutes later than 
scheduled, by causing a series of apparently unrelated accidents to 
delay the bus's arrival. 

Date of Recovery: 05/09/16 

Location of Recovery: Mascot, Sydney, Australia 

Current Status: Contained by ensuring all buses that use the stand 
arrive at 10-minute intervals. 


Item Description: An olive-green metal cube that will turn into 


plastic and melt unless referred to as "Olivia." If referred to as 
"Olivia", it will revert back into a metal cube. 

Date of Recovery:6/1/1993 

Location of Recovery: Alhambra, California, USA 

Current Status: In storage 

Note: The plastic is thermosetting plastic. 


Item Description: A standard, non-anomalous white deck chair. It is 
devoid of any anomalous properties other than its location of 
recovery. 

Date of Recovery: N/A 

Location of Recovery: The surface of Europa, the moon of Saturn 
Current Status: Remains on the surface of Europa due to cost of 
extraction. 


Item Description: A Studio-Grade light. When shone on an object, 
the object's shadow points towards the light. 

Date of Recovery: 5/16/2004 

Location of Recovery: Austin, Texas 

Current Status: In Site-19's break room, used for entertainment. 


Item Description: A pair of glasses. When worn, the user will notice 
objects or persons within eyesight will appear or disappear. 

Date of Recovery: 5/9/2014 

Location of Recovery: Columbia, South Carolina. 

Current Status: Storage Room on Site 18. 


Item Description: A statue of Cupid that, when touched, will render 
the subject fertile. 

Date of Recovery: 2/14/ 

Location of Recovery: , 

Current Status: Storage Room on Site 


Item Description: A fireproof 8.5 x 11 piece of paper that sprays 
water whenever placed near extreme heat or fire. 

Date of Recovery: 3/2/2017. 

Location of Recovery: Baltimore, MD. 

Current Status: In storage. 


Item Description: A waste basket that causes all objects thrown 
towards it to bounce off of the side. 


subjects were safely locked behind the soundproof doors. Twelve 
(12) subjects attempted to break down the doors (presumably in 
order to escape), ten (10) fled to corners of the room and huddled in 
them, covering their ears, and eight (8) rushed to the speaker and 
attempted to tear it out of the wall. After some minutes, the latter 
subjects were successful, but they continued to show signs of 
extreme agitation after the recording was silenced. The subjects 
began to attack each other approximately eight (8) minutes later. 
When the doors were unsealed and security teams entered thirty 
(30) minutes after, a majority of the subjects were either dead or in 
critical condition and the survivors had to be neutralized. 


Incident Report 898-15 

On October ist, 1994, the second complete "draft" (modifications 
are detailed in [DATA EXPUNGED)]) of SCP-898 was administered 
to thirty (30) D-class subjects, who were then locked into Secure 
Chamber #34 in Site-12. Once again, a loudspeaker installed in the 
room began to play a recording of SCP-444 after all the subjects 
were safely locked behind the soundproof doors. The subjects 
displayed very similar behavior to that described in Incident Report 
898-14 initially, but their agitation appeared to cease after Dr. Dahl, 
the technician overseeing the experiment, shut off the recording 
himself. Unaware that the microphone in his observation booth was 
turned on, he said aloud, "Well, it looks like the counter-meme 
worked right this time". Some of the D-class subjects who were near 
the loudspeaker apparently heard this, as they began to show signs 
of agitation and proceeded to fight amongst themselves or run from 
each other, starting a riot that eventually encompassed all of the 
subjects. Security teams had to neutralize several of the subjects, 
but the remaining ones surrendered. 


Excerpt from Interview w/ Dr. Grienko (12/13/1995) 


Grienko: "As near as we could tell, the problem was that 
the counter-meme was treating itself as an invading 
meme. If a person infected with SCP-898 became 
consciously aware that they were infected with SCP-898, 
898 would activate. We called this "auto-activation." The 
first complete 898 treatment also had an unfortunate 
side-effect of "looping." 898 would automatically detect 


Date of Recovery: 2/18/2013 
Location of Recovery: Site 19 break room. 
Current Status: Site 19 break room. 


Item Description: A bottle that, no matter the contents, when 
flipped will always land on its head. 

Date of Recovery: 9/12/2016 

Location of Recovery: High School vending machine 
Current Status: Used as a gimmick to impress new agents 
accepted into the Foundation. 

Can Dr. Malchozky please return the item to the front desk of 
Site-46? Professor Yang would like his turn now. 


Item Description: A severed human hand that provides good luck 
and fortune to anyone who possesses it. 

Date of Recovery: 31/5/2017 

Location of Recovery: Found in SCP- 's chamber after D-class 
failed to properly follow containment procedures. 

Current Status: In an air tight glass container in break room of 
Site-27 to remind personnel that containment procedures must be 
followed. Also believed to provide some sort of morale boost to 
anyone in the presence of the item. 


Item Description: A block of clay that never dries up. 
Date of Recovery: 5/10/2017. 

Location of Recovery: Sacremento, CA. 

Current Status: In Site-19 storage locker. 


Itm Descepyion: A standad QWEERTY keubiard thst caydes 
anuome uding iy ti maje typis, np maytee hiw cartful thy ar. 
Dats od Recivery: 09/09/2009. 

Licstion od Recivery: Atlanya, Gorgia. 

Cureent Ststus: lb Stoage. 


Item Description: A .55 calibre bullet with the date of manufacture 
as 8/2/1898. The bullet was carbon dated back to 1898 being the 
only of it's kind created back then. The bullet can be fired an 
innumerous amount of times. 

Date of Recovery: 12/8/2017 

Location of Recovery: , China. 

Current Status: Used in target practise against heavily armoured 


targets. 


Item Description: A bucket of cyan blue house paint which 
turns lime green when applied to any surface. 

Date of Recovery: 01/24/2017 

Location of Recovery: , Canada. 

Current Status: Approximately 85% of bucket depleted post testing, 
currently in Storage. 


Item Description: A white glass plate seven inches in diameter 
where anything eaten from it is given a strong taste of salt, even if it 
did not contain any. 

Date of Recovery: 7/3/2009 

Location of Recovery: __, France. 

Current Status: In Storage. 


Item Description: A loaf of brand wheat bread. Whenever a 
slice is taken from it, it will regenerate once out of direct eyesight. 
Date of Recovery: 4/23/20 

Location of Recovery: Super-Shop market, —_, Rhode Island, 
USA. 

Current Status: Site-19 cafeteria. 


Item Description: An unremarkable Bayliner Cierra Boat that 
attracts blood towards itself. 

Date of Recovery: 2/24/20 

Location of Recovery: Guangxi, China. 

Current Status: In Storage. 


Item Description: A pair of macro-quantum entangled Jenga sets. 
Date of Recovery: - -20 

Location of Recovery: 

Current Status: In storage; Site 15 Breakroom, Site 17 Breakroom 


Item Description: A copy of Leonardo Da Vinci's Mona Lisa, 
painted by an unknown artist. When looked at, the eyes of the 
woman in the painting appear to staring at whoever is looking at it. 
Multiple people in the room report that each person appears to be 
stared at simultaneously. 

Date of Recovery: - -2017 

Location of Recovery: A yard sale in , New Jersey. 


Current Status: Hanging on the wall in a hallway at Site-19 for 
aesthetic purposes. 


Item Description: A 3-year old female golden retriever dog, named 

Peachy, that meows and purrs like a cat instead of barking. Has 7 

toes on each paw instead of the usual 4. 

Date of Recovery: 2-28-2017 

Location of Recovery: Animal Shelter, , Texas 

Current Status: Site-19 psychiatric office, currently owned by Dr. 
as a therapy dog for her patients. 


Item Description: A flat-headed screwdriver. Anyone who looks at it 
is convinced that it is a Philips-head screwdriver until they look away 
from it. 

Date of Recovery: 1-23-2010 

Location of Recovery: 's Home Improvement Retail, Topeka, 
Kansas. 

Current Status: Site 15; In storage. 

Note: You will not be able to use this properly due to its neurological 
effects. Quit taking it from storage when you lose your own 
screwdriver! -Dr. Grant 


Item Description: A Chinese-made AMR-2 anti-material rifle. When 
fired while loaded with ammunition, a red flag with the word "BANG" 
in uppercase letters will eject from the barrel. One round in the 
magazine will disappear after each "shot". "BANG" will always be 
written in the first language of the person who fired the shot. 

Date of Recovery: - -2017 

Location of Recovery: —, China 

Current Status: Site-19, in storage; available for personnel to use 
at the Site-19 firing range upon request. 


Item Description: A fishing rod that will always hook a fish 
regardless of what water the hook was cast in. 

Date of Recovery: 12-3-2015 

Location of Recovery: Ocean City, Maryland 

Current Status: In storage. 

Note: Dr. reeled a 9-foot catfish out of a cup of lemon juice with 
this. | wouldn't have believed it if | wasn't there to see it myself. - 
Agent 


Item Description: A piece of paper that show stylized logo of 
various Gol in purple ink, logo and style changing every three 
months. 

Date of Recovery: 12/30/2016 

Location of Recovery: [REDACTED] 

Current Status: Framed in Site-88 hallway. 


Item Description: An indestructible brand camera tripod. 

Human beings approaching this object develop an urge to physically 

assault the item until they are exhausted. Additionally, any electronic 

devices possessing speakers brought within 5 meters of the object 

will spontaneously begin to play Megadeth's "Tornado of Souls" at 
dB, regardless of whether or not the device is charged. 

Date of Recovery: 5 May 2017 

Location of Recovery: 's Camera Shop, , Arizona. 

Current Status: Kept for recreational purposes in Site-45. 


Item Description: A standard Honeywell™ thermostat. Adjusting 
the temperature instantly changes the temperature of the room it's 
in, with seemingly no limit. 

Date of Recovery: 6 June 2017 

Location of Recovery: , Ohio. 

Current Status: In storage at Site-19. 


Item Description: A 10 cm tall Magic 8 Ball toy that is cube-shaped 
and covered in dots patterned after a standard six-sided die. Its 
answers appear on the four-dot side, within the dot in the corner 
where the six-dot and two-dot sides meet. Anyone who has the 
object on their person develops limited precognition while in 
possession of the toy. Subjects have likened the ability to "Spidey- 
sense". 

Date of Recovery: 12 August 2013 

Location of Recovery: A day care in , California. 

Current Status: Destroyed after being knocked off a railing and 
cracking open on a junior researcher's head. The 20-sided answer 
die previously encased in the toy was reported to have dissolved 
upon exposure to air. The junior researcher developed a moderate 
concussion. 


Item Description: A 1 foot long piece of wood, with the letters "THE 
ESSENCE OF DESTRUCTION" painted on with human blood. this 


wood made any person viewing it scream violently and scratch at 
their eyes and [REDACTED]. 

Date of Recovery: 10 march 2017 

Location of Recovery: A cabin in northern Ireland. 

Current Status: contained in a locked metal box at site- . DNA tests 
have confirmed the person the blood came from has been killed, 
and the murderer caught. 

Note: this Object is currently under investigation to determine 
whether object is to be designated as an SCP 


Item Description: An elevator cab. Any acceleration the cab 
experiences is directly applied to all contents of the cab; this 
acceleration is thus undetectable from the cab's interior. 
Date of Recovery: - -20 

Location of Recovery: , Beijing. 

Current Status: Under study at Site- . 


Item Description: A REALLY COOL ROCK! | MEAN THIS IS ONE 
OF THE MOST AWESOME ROCKS | HAVE EVER SEEN! IN FACT 
IT IS THE COOLEST THING | HAVE EVER SEEN! Item is in fact a 
small rock that when someone touches or picks up believes the rock 
to be the “coolest” thing ever. This is still in effect after the person 
stops touching it. Other than this it seems to be a normal rock. 
Date of Recovery: - - 
Location of Recovery: Was found by Dr. while studying SCP- 

, after some study it was found to not be connected to SCP- 
Current Status: ON THE RADDEST DESK OF THE AMAZING 
DR. , BECAUSE HE FOUND IT AND THEREFORE IS THE 
COOLEST PERSON! 


Item Description: A number of common handkerchiefs which, when 
placed inside one's trousers’ pocket will rid the subject of cold, flu, 
and symptoms of rhinitis. 

Date of Recovery: 19-05-1996 

Location of Recovery: Was found in Tavor, Czech Republic, after 
half of the town recovered from the early onsets of an outbreak of 
pneumonia. 

Current Status: Conserved in a locker at Site- , since extended 
medical research has been deemed not cost-effective for the 
Foundation. 


Item Description: A case for an model phone. When applied 
to the phone of the appropriate model, the screen will become 
intensely sensitive to any form of contact. As much as a small drag 
of a fingernail along the phone, top to bottom, could cause major 
damage to both the screen and the internals. 

Date of Recovery: 10-04-201 

Location of Recovery: , Virginia. 

Current Status: In storage. 

Notes: The removal process almost put a hole completely through 
the phone... | better not see this case on anyone's phone around 
here, consensual or not. - Dr. 


Item Description: An average USB flash drive that, when attempts 
are made to insert it into a computer, will always be inverted as to 
prevent itself from being plugged in. 

Date of Recovery: 12-09-201 

Location of Recovery: County Library, Florida 

Current Status: In storage. 


Item Description: The website, "whatwouldhappenifiwasshot. 
When accessed, it generates an accurate 3D model of the user, 
which can then be "shot" by clicking on any part of the body. 
Date of Recovery: 07-01-2017 

Location of Recovery: N/A. Discovered following a Reddit post on 
the "todayilearned" sub-forum.