effects. The evening after his appointment as general manager, 
Agent Potsdam was found comatose in his bed, after suffering 
apparent blunt-force trauma to the head. All Foundation staffers 
within an approximately 40 km radius of Agent Potsdam’s location 
reported experiencing the same dream that evening. Foundation 
staffers reported sitting in the stands of a baseball stadium and 
viewing Ellis Canastota throwing a fastball at the head of a bound 
Robert Potsdam. 


Footnotes 

1. At Canastota’s current level of statistical performance (7-10, 4.74 
ERA as of last season) this is considered a feasible request with 
which the franchise is cooperating without objection. 

2. For further details on the nature of collective hallucination events: 
McTiriss, Kate, “Can | Get A Witness? Mass Hallucinations And 
Infohazards In Foundation Containment’Fieldwork: An SCP 
Foundation Journal(2013): 619. 

3. A potential connection to the Oneiroi Initiative believed to be 
involved in the creation of SCPs-1498,-2028, and-2805is currently 
under research. 

4. °WO’ is not a valid ISO 3166 country or region code. It is used for 
both the World Intellectual Property Organization and the Wolof 
language, spoken in the Gambia and Mauritania. All individuals 
questioned about Ellis Canastota’s background did not recall 
specifics, with many indicating that he “keeps to himself.” 

5. This program was originally developed for use withSCP-592. For 
details on its operation and accuracy: Ashley, Giulianna, “Methods 
For Image Analysis On Infohazardous Imagery”Terminal: An SCP 
Foundation Journal(2007): 230. 


« SCP-2271 | SCP-2272 | SCP-2273 » 


SCP-2273: Major Alexei Belitrov, of the Red Army's 
22nd Armored Infantry Division 


Item #: SCP-2273 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2273 is to be contained in 
an M-SHACC1 with furniture that can accommodate SCP-2273's 
weight and size. Additionally, the containment cell and adjacent 
observation/interview room must act as a Faraday cage. Standard 
quality-of-life considerations apply. SCP-2273 requires 
approximately 8,000 calories per day in order to remain healthy; 
standard human rations in quantities large enough to facilitate this 
are acceptable. The Site-17 humanoid anomaly psychologist is to 
interview SCP-2273 weekly, to ensure continued mental health of 
the subject while obtaining knowledge of SCP-2273's original 
timeline. SCP-2273 is a ECT2 B sapient anomaly and is granted 
limited access to literature and musical media that may be revoked 
at any time. 


Description: SCP-2273 is a humanoid entity believed to be of extra- 
universal origin that consists of two parts. SCP-2273-1 is believed to 
be a non-anomalous male human that shares a symbiotic 
relationship with an anomalous organism, SCP-2273-2. This 
organism completely covers SCP-2273-1, leaving no epidermis 
exposed. Notable physical characteristics of SCP-2273-2 are as 
follows: 


¢ Achitinous carapace that forms a secondary, exterior 
skeleton. 

* Compound-lensed eyes giving SCP-2273-2 approximately a 
270° field of vision and approximately 90° of binocular vision. 

¢ Earth-tone coloration visually similar to military forest-pattern 
camouflage. 

¢ Advanced musculature that integrates with SCP-2273-1's 


muscular-skeletal system and allows SCP-2273 to carry an 
estimated 1200 kilograms in addition to its own weight. 
* Proboscis similar in function to that of Musca domestica? used 
by SCP-2273-2 to procure nutrients for itself and its host. 
* Colored scar tissue similar in nature to tattoos corresponding 
to military patches and badges.4 
A fully functional organic radio transceiver capable of 
transmitting both encrypted and unencrypted audio messages 
over a wide bandwidth. 


Additionally, it is believed that SCP-2273-2 shares its circulatory and 
nervous systems with its host. 


SCP-2273 is approximately 2.1 meters in height and 290 kilograms 
in weight. SCP-2273-2's exterior is heavily scarred on both forearms 
and shoulder blades. Upon recovery, these areas bore open 
wounds. SCP-2273 claims that weapon nacelles were previously 
mounted at these locations. All written tattoo patterns are in Russian 
and indicate that SCP-2273 was a Major in the 2294 Armored 
Infantry Division®. It is fluent in Russian and German. 


SCP-2273 was recovered during investigation of a seismic event 
and radiation spikes detected outside Danner, Wisconsin on 13 
October, 1989. SCP-2273 was found after tracing radio 
transmissions coming from its location. SCP-2273 was wounded, 
delirious, and suffering from malnutrition. It offered no resistance to 
the recovery team. It was moved to Site-17 shortly after its recovery. 


Selected Interview Logs: 
Open SCP-2273 Initial Interview Log 


Interviewed: SCP-2273 

Interviewing: Dr. Friedrich (Site-17 humanoid 
anomaly psychologist) 

Forward: Interview was conducted primarily in 
German. SCP-2273's ability to speak using 
AM radio had been ascertained during 
recovery. 

Transcript: 


Dr. Friedrich (in Russian): Hello? Can you 
hear me? 


SCP-2273 (in German): Your accent is 
atrocious. Yes, | can hear you. Let's speak in a 
language | know you'll understand. 


Dr. Friedrich (in German): Ah, yes, all right. 
I'm told you answer to the name Alexei 
Belitrov. Is this true? 


SCP-2273: Let's quit with the pleasantries. | 
am a prisoner-of-war and you are my 
interrogator. You killed my men, tortured me, 
and left me to die in the wilderness. Have you 
not done enough? 


Dr. Friedrich: | — I'm sorry? 


SCP-2273: You heard me. Don't act like you 
don't know what was done to me before | was 
brought here. My men died because | 
surrendered. | see now that it was a mistake. 
They should have died like warriors, fighting 
for the Motherland, not gunned down like 
animals. | thought | could end the war for 
them, give them much-deserved peace. 
Instead, they are dead, likely not even buried 
but left to rot, and | am here, being 
interrogated by some skinny in an American 
Concentration Camp. 


Dr. Friedrich: Alexei, do you know where you 
are? 


SCP-2273: No, and it does not matter. You will 
not break me, filthy dog. 


End Transcript 
Closing Statement: SCP-2273 remained 
largely unresponsive after the final transcribed 


remarks. Dr. Friedrich opted to discontinue the 
interview shortly thereafter. Following this 
interview, Dr. Friedrich put forward a request 
to provide SCP-2273 a limited amount of low- 
level information regarding the Foundation in 
order to gain SCP-2273's trust, furthering 
cooperation. 


Open SCP-2273 Interview 002 


Interviewed: SCP-2273 

Interviewing: Dr. Friedrich 

Forward: Interview was conducted in German. 
Six hours prior to interview, SCP-2273 had 
been issued an outdated copy of the Level 1 
Researcher General Debrief in an attempt to 
make it understand the nature of its 
containment. 

Transcript: 


Dr. Friedrich: Alexei, are you ready to talk? 


SCP-2273: | understand now. You... you are 
not dogs, you are crows. 


Dr. Friedrich: I'm sorry? 


SCP-2273 (in Russian): Crows. (In German:) It 
is Red Army Officer's slang for... your people. 
You do not fight in the war. Instead, you steal 
weapons from both sides for... whatever 
purposes. Containment, | suppose. | guess 
this means | am no longer in the place | came 
from, da? 


Dr. Friedrich: Yes, Alexei, that's right. We 
need to find out where you came from, so we 
might be able to figure out how you got here 
and possibly come up with a way to get you 


back. 


SCP-2273: Do not lie to me, skinny crow. You 
are going to keep me in this cell forever. You 
and | both know this. 


Dr. Friedrich: Fine, | won't lie to you. Yes, you 
will probably spend the rest of your life in this 
facility, but it doesn't have to be entirely 
miserable. If you help us, we'll see what we 
can do to help you. 


SCP-2273: Please, just let me be for awhile. 


Friedrich: Alright, Alexei. Take your time. 
We'll talk whenever you're ready, ok? 


End Transcript 

Closing Statement: SCP-2273 began 
showing signs of severe stress shortly after 
reading the issued document. However, most 
signs and acts of aggression seem to have 
ceased. 


Open SCP-2273 Interview 003 


Interviewed: SCP-2273 

Interviewing: Dr. Friedrich 

Forward: Interview was conducted in German. 
This interview took place upon SCP-2273's 
request three days after Interview 002. 
Transcript: 


Dr. Friedrich: Alexei, you said you wanted to 
see me? 


SCP-2273: Yes. | have thought about your 
offer, and | would like to talk. | don't know 
beyond all doubt that you're not working for the 
Americans, so | won't tell you anything that 


PepsiCo does not produce this product. 


“Darkside Cola” — A “can” with clear plastic sides, packaging in 
Japanese. Liquid inside is clear. When opened, liquid appears to 
react to the air, and changes to dark black over a period of several 
seconds. The black coloration “looks like billowing smoke”, and 
cannot be reversed. Liquid’s taste described as “cola, with 
something spicy in it.” 


“The Little Bakery: 7 Grain” — A small tube the size of a candy bar 
with a green button, made of aluminum, packaging in English. When 
the top is twisted off, a mass of “dough” is extruded. “Dough” 
contains several enzymes and bacteria that have not yet been 
identified. On contact with air, these cause the dough to rise and 
“bake”, killing the microbes in the process. Produces a small, round 
loaf of bread weighing 250 grams. Taste described as good, but 
chewy. 


“Lemon Clams” — Thick plastic baggie with a plastic tube on the 
side, containing water and twelve clams, packaging in Dutch. 
Following on-package instructions, the plastic tube was cracked like 
a “glow stick”. Liquid in the bag flashed to steam, venting from a 
hole that popped open in the top of the bag, slightly burning one 
researcher. Steaming finished after thirty-eight seconds, after which 
clams were found to be fully cooked and infused with a mild lemon 
flavor. On investigation, clams match no recorded species. 


"Diet Ghost" — A can containing an instance of SCP-2107. 
Packaging was in English. Testing done on this instance provided 
similar results to other contained instances of SCP-2107. This marks 
the first time SCP-261 has vended another SCP object. 


“<Unknowns” — Small mesh bag filled with small, multi-colored 
pyramids, packaging in an unknown language. Pyramids found to be 
very hard and unpleasant tasting, compared to chalk in taste and 
consistency. When placed in hot water, pyramids open and produce 
“strings” that quickly dissolve, coloring the water the same shade as 
the pyramid. Water had no additional taste, but testing revealed a 
sharp increase in mineral, carbohydrate, and protein content, with 
several minerals unidentified at the present time. This content was 
found to be consistent with the recommended daily intake of 


you wouldn't already know. This is fair, da? 


Dr. Friedrich: Yes, | suppose it's a fair offer. 
Hm. Okay, you kept talking about a war. What 
can you tell us about that? 


SCP-2273: It is the Second Great Patriotic 
War, the War to End the World. Several years 
ago, when | was only a child, the Americans 
launched a nuclear attack against the 
Motherland and her allies. We retaliated in full 
force. Very few people were left alive, and 
much of the surface was rendered unusable 
for farming, or even just living. That is why | 
am in this armor. | couldn't survive very long 
on the surface without it. 


Dr. Friedrich: Oh, okay. What else can you 
tell me about your armor? 


SCP-2273: It was built for us by the engineers. 
| don't know how they do it or how they work, 
but this armor has saved my life more times 
than | can count, and has been worth the pain 
it has caused me. 


Dr. Friedrich: Can you elaborate on that? 
How has the armor caused you pain? 


SCP-2273: The armor takes many years to 
grow. | was only a boy when my parents 
volunteered me for the program, and getting 
attached to the armor was likely the most 
painful thing | have ever felt in my life. But it 
was worth it because | am that much more of a 
warrior for my country. Everything it feels, | 
feel. Everything it sees, | see. Everything it 
smells or tastes or hears, | smell and taste and 
hear. Everything it thinks, | think. 


Dr. Friedrich: I'm sorry, your armor thinks? 


SCP-2273: Yes, but not how you and | think. It 
identifies targets, weapons, ammunition, 
supplies, friends and foes, objectives to be 
captured, terrain features, hazards. It helps me 
to formulate battle plans when | am acting in 
my capacity as an officer, and helps me to 
fight war when | am acting in my capacity as a 
soldier. You already see how it helps me 
speak to my men and my superiors from great 
distances. It lets me hear the enemy from a 
great distance, as well. This armor has served 
me well. 


Dr. Friedrich: Ok, | think | understand. Can 
you tell me about how you got the wounds on 
your shoulders and arms? 


SCP-2273: When you found me, | had just 
been captured by the Americans. They had 
forcibly removed my weapons and my supply 
pack, creating these wounds. They did this 
with all my surviving men. Then, they identified 
me as the commanding officer and took me 
aside. They shot my men shortly afterwards. | 
thought you were the same Americans who 
had captured me... | still don't trust you, but | 
don't believe | have a choice. 


Dr. Friedrich: What can you tell me about how 
you got here? Do you know? 


SCP-2273: | don't know how | ended up here; 
all | remember is a bright flash of light, then all 
the Americans were gone. There were trees 
that hadn't been there before. But | was very 
deep in American territory, and | didn't believe 
they would dispose of an officer such as 
myself so easily. So, | began sending 
encrypted distress codes and wandered the 
forest until your men found me. Is there 
anything else you would like to know? 


Dr. Friedrich: No, Alexei, that's enough for 
now. 


SCP-2273: Thank you — What did you say 
your name was? 


Dr. Friedrich: You may call me Doctor 
Friedrich. | appreciate what you've told me so 
far, Alexei. 


SCP-2273: Thank you, Doctor Friedrich. 


End Transcript 

Closing Notes: SCP-2273 showed 
significantly reduced signs of stress following 
this interview. Further interviews are 
recommended. 


Open SCP-2273 Interview 004 


Interviewed: SCP-2273 

Interviewing: Dr. Friedrich 

Forward: Interview was conducted in German. 
This interview took place the day after 
Interview 003. 

Transcript: 


SCP-2273: Hello, Doctor. Is there more you 
would like to discuss? 


Dr. Friedrich: Yes, actually, there is. Thank 
you for asking, Alexei. 


SCP-2273: Before we continue, may | make a 
request? 


Dr. Friedrich: Tell me what you need and I'll 
see what | can do for you. 


SCP-2273: You wouldn't happen to have 


recordings of the Russian composer Pyotr 
Ilyich Tchaikovsky, would you? 


Dr. Friedrich: I'll see what | can find. 


SCP-2273: Thank you. Now what is it that you 
wanted to talk about? 


Dr. Friedrich: Yesterday, when we were 
speaking, you mentioned that your suit was 
built by "engineers." What can you tell us 
about them? 


SCP-2273: Well, they cannot live unprotected 
on the surface, like you or |, but | don't think 
they have ever built armor for themselves. 


Dr. Friedrich: Well, why wouldn't they? Do 
you know? 


SCP-2273: | am not sure. | think it is because 
only soldiers wear armor, and it is not their 
war. 


Dr. Friedrich: What do you mean, "not their 
war?" They're people too, aren't they?