SCP-2232-08: Oh, my god! You found my phone! Thank 
you soooo much! | thought | left it in the cassowary when 
| went to work, and- 


Goh: Sorry, to whom am | speaking to here? 


SCP-2232-08: Oh, this is Casey Durham, | live in 


[unintelligible], on the lower east side seagull, listen, is 
there any way for you to return my phone to me? 


Goh: Well, see, we can't exactly return your phone at the 
moment- 


SCP-2232-08: Oh, I'm not in any trouble, am |? Dear 
lord, that one time | was in the accident with the blue- 
footed booby was bad enough, | don't think I- 


Goh: Excuse me - the blue-footed booby? 


SCP-2232-08: Yeah, it just swerved into my lane, and 
didn't even sound the horn or anything, or signal, and the 
headlights and the passenger door on the old cassowary 
was just all busted up for weeks, | had to pay the 
repairmen, the insurance flamingo was simply insane, 
and - sorry, it's been a rough few months for me, listen. 
I've got some very important contacts and pictures on 
that bird, it means a lot to me, believe me. If there's a 
nearby Australian bush turkey you can drop it ina 
package and just put it in the interstate mail slot to 
number 23 [unintelligible - presumed to be an address], 
send it right to the doorstep of my Spix's macaw. That's 
okay with you, right? 


Goh: Um, could you clarify what you mean by - 


SCP-2232-08: Voice call roaming limit exceeded. Please 
contact your local Wingtel representative for inquiries on 
any additional roaming charges incurred. 


<End log> 


Footnotes 

1. Similarities between SCP-2232 instances and the phones seen 
carried by riders ofSCP-2965has been observed. Research into a 
shared origin of these phones is ongoing. 


« SCP-2231 | SCP-2232 | SCP-2233 » 


dispatched to see how far their psychosis has 
progressed and how much they know, but from what I've 
found in the late General's personal files, he supposedly 
had them convinced this was some kind of hospital. 


Second, as you may have guessed from the notes on the 
civilians and the highly classified paper manuscripts, the 
"authorized personnel" seemed to believe quite 
vehemently that SCP-256 was once a young adult 
human named Elizabeth Waters, and has been 
somehow trapped in the artifact. Even the General was 
convinced, and the very fact that the BaseCommand was 
compromised by the item's delusions makes me worry 
about the entire facility. All personnel on the "authorized" 
list have been placed under covert surveillance. It is 
unknown how far the item's control over them goes, and | 
will be personally reviewing all other SCP security 
measures enacted on General Gerhart's behalf. 


Third, there is information on the artifact that has not 
been made available in the report. Firstly, the variance 
on the EMR is remarkably similar to an oscilloscope's 
pickup of human voice. Apparently when SCP-256 starts 
its variance, it somehow starts producing audio with it. 
Second, the compromised personnel write down in the 
manuscripts that the delusions claim to be in pain when 
metal is brought near it. After an audio recorder was 
brought into the room, the afflicted agents noted that the 
delusions ceased for several days, and when they 
resumed, they indicated that it nearly "killed" the artifact. 


Needless to say, | cannot confirm or deny these rumors 
due to the security restraints on SCP-256, but | do not 
place credibility in them. Simply put, General, this was a 
coverup. Recommend immediate disciplinary procedures 
for all personnel involved. In regards to SCP-256, | 
recommend research into power production. As long as 
the research personnel observe the listed sound- 
blanking procedures, any possible auditory 
contamination can be contained. There was no listed 


SCP-2233: Sociosophy 


Item #: SCP-2233 
Object Class: Keter 


Special Containment Procedures: Ten print copies of SCP-2233-1 
are to be contained on Site-142. The Site has been designated a 
paper-media-free zone, and no form of printed media (including 
books, magazines, and other forms as specified in the SCP-2233-1 
Appendix 3) are to be brought within a 1 km radius of any instance 
of SCP-2233-1 outside of approved testing. 


Upon the discovery of new SCP-2233-1 instances, MTF-Lambda-2 
"Academics" is to sanitize the area of all affected media. New 
instances are to be immediately incinerated. A Lambda-2 member is 
to be inserted into the pedagogical board of every college with 
average enrollment larger than 30,000 to ensure a fast response in 
case of an SCP-2233-2 event. 


In case of a Jehoiada event, the lecturing venue is to be quarantined 
immediately and Procedure Styx-Lethe-Acheron applied. 


Description: SCP-2233 is an academic discipline called 
"Sociosophy", manifesting through SCP-2233-1 instances and 
SCP-2233-2 events. 


SCP-2233-1 is a book labeled "Polylogue — Over the horizon of 
postmodern relativism", published by "The Club of Friends of 
Sociosophy"! in Prague, Czech Republic, in 2014. The authors are 
listed as StoB. Emil Frantisek; BasSc., WtaN. Herbert Muzny; 
DmbS. et DmbS. Martin Piiklopa; and collective. It is unclear if all 
of the authors are real persons, as only a few had been seen during 
the Jehoiada events. Unconfirmed authors include [REDACTED]. 


The book contains theories on pseudo-academic subjects, such as 
"Polylogue" as an improvement of conversing, "Problemology" as a 


discipline concerning various life issues, or "Neonovoplatonism" as a 
religiously philosophical practice. 


The practice of the disciplines seems nonsensical, unless affected 
by the presence of associated Persons of Interest. See Report of 
Event-2233-02-1 for a noteworthy Jehoiada event, involving the 
creation of E- andE- by unknown reality-bending abilities. 


The anomalous properties of SCP-2233-1 manifest when placed in 
close proximity (max. 600m) to other paper media. After about 3-5 
hours, the media start to mention sociosophy in various forms. For 
example, newspaper headlines mention recent sociosophy 
breakthroughs. 


The existing content of the media is also modified; for example, in 
the work of [REDACTED], a bibliography entry "FOUCAULT, Michel: 
The History of Sexuality: Vol. 2: The use of pleasure. Vintage books, 
New York, 1990." was changed to "MUZNY, Herbert: Sexuality in 
Sociosophy, Vol 1: Practiced Episthemophilia. EX crementum 
bovinum, Little Hill, 2002." 

Initially, no such book was found, but after a -hour exposition of 
The History of Sexuality, Vol. 2to SCP-2233-1, the contents of 
Foucault's book have been completely altered into the new 
anomalous publication described above. 


Affected media exhibit the same anomalous properties as 2233-1 
instances. 


+ Examples of modified media 


Author/Title: Renfrew, Colin. Prehistory: The 
making of the human mind. 


Description: The author surveys the 
intellectual world of the prehistorical man 
before written records were made. 


Modified Author/Title: Bumberell, Peter. 
History on the couch. 


Description of the modified book: The 


author describes prehistorical inventions ina 
jovial style, calling the man who first found fire 
and the man who invented the wheel as the 
"First protosociosophists". 


Author/Title: Cassirer, Ernst. Philosophy of 
symbolic forms. 


Description: The book argues that man is a 
"symbolic animal", creating its universe out of 
symbolic meanings. 


Modified Author/Title: FrantiSek, Emil. 
Subjectophobia: A psychological disorder or a 
natural evolution of human spirit? 


Description of the modified book: The 
author describes the dangers of inventing new 
words, such as jargon, considering their usage 
"an intellectual robbery of a simple, 
hermeneusophistic vocabulary". 


Author/Title: Capek, Karel. Talks with T. G. 
Masaryk. 


Description: A record of the former Czech 
president’s opinions on political, religious and 
philosophical topics. 


Modified Author/Title: Churchill, Winston. 
What | have never said but what is cited, so | 
am writing it now because | agree with it. 


Description of the modified book: A book of 
essays On newspaper misquotes of the former 
British prime minister, where he agrees or 
disagrees with the misquotes’s contents. The 
book cites examples even from the time after 
the author's death. 


Author/Title: Hitler, Adolf. Mein Kampf. 


Description: An autobiographical book, 
describing the world through the views of a 
national-socialistic ideology. 


Modified Author/Title: Nietzsche, Friedrich. 
With hammer towards philosophers. 


Description of the modified book: A 19th 
century german philosopher describes the 
uselessness of philosophy in a secular society. 


Author/Title: Shakespeare, William. Hamlet. 


Description: A medieval drama about Prince 
Hamlet, whose father, the King of Denmark, 
has been murdered by his own brother and 
Hamlet's uncle, Claudius. 


Modified Author/Title: Shakespeare, William. 
Hamlet 2 or Hamlet cleansed. 


Description of the modified book: The 
drama takes a course similar to the original, 
with deviations from the third act forward, 
where the protagonist resolves his dilemmas 
by performing an autolecture. 


Author/Title: The Brothers Grimm. Rapunzel. 


Description: A children’s book, publicly known 
best for a moment where a princess, trapped 
in a tower, hangs her long hair from a window. 
A prince climbs on it to get to her. 


Modified Author/Title: Lapsky, Alexander. 
Treekids. 


Description of the modified book: The main 
story is similar to Rapunzel, but reads as a 
scientific demonstration of a discipline called 
"Intellectual bonsaification". The princess uses 
her time in the tower to practice said discipline, 


which is never described, only cited from 
secondary sources. The prince meets her "on 
the level of the right sub-stratum". 


New 2233-1 instances have been discovered inside publishing 
houses, and during SCP-2233-2 events. The publishers take 
SCP-2233-1 as a satirical book, ignoring its anomalous properties. 


SCP-2233-2 is a designation for lectures on various disciplines of 
sociosophy by people who read SCP-2233-1 or attended a 2233-2 
event in the past. These occur mainly in college environments, such 
as universities, mensas, or fraternities. SCP-2233-1 instances are 
often given out during these lectures. 


Pol associated with SCP-2233 appear in average 60% of the 
lectures, constituting a Jehoiada event. When a copy of 2233-1 is 
signed by the Pol, the efficiency of the book's anomalous properties 
have been shown to increase by %- %, including increased 
speed of infection and range of influence. 


Uncontained SCP-2233-2 events constitute a major containment 
breach and if left unchecked, amount to a IK class end-of-the-world 
scenario "Information breakdown". 

No pattern in the frequency and location of 2233-2 has been 
established. 


+ Report of event SCP-2233-02-1 


On / /2014, the first Jehoiada event took place in 

, Prague, a college café. As per O. Tuma and J. 
Blazejovsky, members of the Lambda-2 unit present, Pol 
"Emil FrantiSek" and "Martin Priklopa" announced the 
event as a "Mourning symposion concerning the death of 
BasSc., WtaN. Herbert Muzny, who fell from the window 
of his study on a rock garden riddled with houseleek, per 
capitam." 


During the event, several Pol had brief lectures on the 
disciplines of sociosophy, during which several reality- 
bending phenomena were observed to take place. This 
2233-2 event also celebrated the release of SCP-2233-1 


to the public. 
[ACCESS DENIED] 


The event helped constitute the parts of Procedure Styx- 
Lethe-Acheron and agents Tuma and Blazejovsky were 
voluntarily administered Class-C amnesiacs after-action. 


+ Addendum: Excerpts from the book 


Excerpt from Chapter 17: Problemology, sub section 3: 
"Preproblemology: We have a problem and we know 
about it". 


Problemology is a new conceptutally- 
rhetorically-nontotalitarizating metadiscipline, 
which is typical for its socialscientifically- 
philosophical character. Problemology is 
based on methodically nonprefabricated 
research of nonconformly (in academic 
meaning) defined subjects. Results of 
problemological research are integrated in 
nonreductible structured reflexions of chosen 
subject relevance and of chosen research 
methods. 


[SENSITIVE DATA OMITTED] 


Study of preproblemology cultivates individual 
abilities of sensitive recognition of problems, 
which are based on even seemingly banal 
problemological indications and individual 
abilities of differentiation between 
problemologically relevant thinking and mere 
intentional jesting. 


Excerpt from Chapter 14: "Tractatus Logico- 
Sociosophicus" by StoB. Emil FrantiSek and 


¢ 1 The world is all, that just is. 
¢ 1.01 Anything that can not be described as 


"being" is non-being. 

¢ 1.012 Being is and nonbeing is not. 

* 1.02 The world is not, what it is not. 

¢ 1.021 The non-being is not the world, nor 
anything outside of it. 

¢ 1.03 The world is all being. 

* 1.04 The basic manifestation of the world is 
that it is being. 

¢ 1.1 The world is a sum of beings, not facts. 
¢ 1.11 Facts are beings non-being. 

¢ 1.111 The manifestation of being is change. 
¢ 1.112 The essence of facts is 
unchangeability. 

[SUBSEQUENT PASSAGE REDACTED] 


Preface of Chapter 11: "Information Quantum as a 
Meaning Carrier: A Torso" by BasSc., WtaN. Herbert 
Muzny, foreword by Pius the Meek (ed.). 


Even though a tragic accident took the author 
from us before he could complete his opus 
magnum, we believe that the amount of new, 
revolutionary ideas brought to the attention of 
the scientific community, in just this draft of the 
foreword, fully justifies its publication. 


The book The Quantum, sadly left unfinished, 
was supposed to establish a practical, yet in 
no way shallow, framework for all 
sociosophisticated analyses of information of 
all kinds. BasSc., WtaN. Herbert MuZzny's last 
work can also be read as a polemic with the 
Geometrical basis3: while in Franciscan4 
epistemosophy the information is infinitely 
divisible, Muzny postulated a certain minimal 
quantum of information. 


A minimal quantum corresponds with a 
minimal meaningful conclusion. The "size" of 
such a conclusion is determined by the 
quantum level in use, the discourse, or the 


medium, if you will. In the text presented here, 
Muzny advocates the legitimity of the impathic 
method while touching on some of the key 
questions of quantum level transitions. 


+ Transcript of Lecture-01-08 "Autolecture" as performed by Pol Marti 
/2014 


I'd like to say hi to the fellow fans of 
sociosophy; my name is Martin Priklopa. Gone 
are the old days where you had to listen to a 
boring pedagogue for an hour and a half, 
sometimes even more. I'm going to show you 
how to perform an autolecture, through which 
you can make your own lesson on any 
sociosophisticated subject you find interesting, 
with my example being on God. 


You need to cite the autolecture in the form of 
a liturgic song, with the least amount of 
aspirations as possible. Stand in front of a 
mirror, have a firm, Nietzschean mustache put 
on and scent the whole room with a 
frankincense. [REDACTED]. Attach these two 
creations on the mirror, so you can see both 
them in your peripheral vision, and the view on 
you is not obscured. Explore yourself 
thoroughly. Begin the recitation and observe 
your every reaction. 


"O god how you are so immense, maybe no 
speck of truth had ever been spoken about 
you, god is ahuman mockup, god is a 
historical need, which needs to be cherished 
and thrown away, and to have looked the truth 
in the face, the world is nor good nor evil, the 
world is the way we make it, god does not 
exist, god is that than which nothing higher can 
be conceived, we must be grateful to god for 
all the gifts that are a part of the highest gift of 
life, god does not exist, god blesses through