Researchers are working on several theories to explain SCP-222-J's 
memetic properties, as well as devising a way to contain or 
neutralize it. The most effective treatment at the moment is for the 
infected subject to drink 8 fluid ounces of any hot beverage infused 
with Psychoactive-Stimulant-C (a commonly-found substance 
derived from certain plants). A second test has shown that 
SCP-222-J may only be transmittable between subjects who are 
empathetic. D-class subjects with their frontal cortices completely 
removed did not exhibit signs of SCP-222-J infection after a full 24 
hours of exposure. These D-class have been appointed as guards 
should SCP-222-J ever be successfully contained. 


Any infected personnel are able to request maximum-strength 
amnestics, and it is highly recommended that they do so to avoid an 
outbreak. SCP-222-J could easily become a global pandemic in the 
wrong mouth. 


Addendum: Recent research has concluded that SCP-222-J can 
not only be transmitted through visual stimuli, but through writing as 
well. 


SCP-1201-J: That One Movie 


Item #: SCP-1201-J 
Object Class: Action... | think? 


Special Containment Procedures: I'm pretty sure | have a copy of 
it somewhere in my living room. On VHS. Wait, is it old enough for 
VHS? Man, | don't think | even have a VCR anymore. Oh god | feel 
old. 


Description: SCP-1201-J is that one movie. The one with the guy. 
The big one? Well | guess he was more medium height. Everyone 
was talking about it a little while ago. 


You know the one I'm talking about, right? With [REDACTED]? Or 
was it [REDACTED]... Like that movie with all the guys with guns. 
Yeah, that one, with the car that went swoosh swoosh and then 
there was an explosion. And it had that woman in it. 


You know, that woman. The one who did the voice for that girl in the 
movie with the other guy who kept saving her? No, not her, the other 
one. [REDACTED]? Did she even ever do voice acting? Oh yeah, 
she was the princess in the cute little animated thing. With all the 
animals? 


Oh wait, | think I'm getting it. Hold on... Damnit you messed me up! 
It wasn't [REDACTED]! Since when has [REDACTED] been in 
anything anyways? Have you seen her at the Oscars? She looked 
like one of those skeletons from that old game. You know that old 
game, right? 


Addendum: Wait, here are some pics of actors, lemme see if | can 
find the guy: 


SCP-L135-J: Very Powerful Psychic Man 


Item #: SCP-L135-J 


Object Class: I'm getting a strong sense of an "E" here. Is there an 
object class that starts with "E"? Elephant maybe, or Einstein? 
Eukaryote? Euclid? Yes, okay, yes, it is definitely Euclid, it's very 
clear now. 


Special Containment Procedures: Someone is telling me to "keep 
it in containment cell C-something...C-something...no maybe it's S- 
something. Does S-Something sound familiar? S-45? No? S-46? 
S-47? S-48? Yes, S-48! That's the one. 


Description: The voice I'm hearing now is male, | believe. Yes, it's 
male, somewhat young, but also very wise sounding. They're likely 
around 9 to maybe 42 years of age, but it's not clear. Does anyone, 
anyone know someone like that? Maybe a child or middle aged 
man? 


I'm getting the sense that their line of work involves possibly people, 
or things maybe? People or things? Maybe construction or retail? 
Yes? You know someone in retail? Oh. Construction? No? Oh 
they're a con-artist? Yes, that's it, because they work with people, 
conning them. Yes, they're telling me now that they're definitely a 
con artist. How old is this person you know? 57? Yeah it's definitely 
them, they're telling me they are 57 years of age. Okay then. 


I'm hearing multiple voices now. Most of them are telling me that this 
person has some sort of hobby, or ability, or personality, or 
something like that. Did the person you're thinking of have any of 
those things? Yes? They were repulsive? Okay, they're telling me 
that's not quite right, but that seems to be just your opinion. Did they 
have an ability? Okay. Yes, | can hear them. They're saying that 
they could affect...things. Does that seem right? I'm getting a word 
that starts with...R...or maybe a P. Pilot? Were they a pilot? Or 
maybe paper? Did they work with paper? Yes? Oh they could affect 


documentation. Yes, that is what they're telling me now, they could 
affect documentation which is usually on paper. It wasn't on paper? 
Just electronic documentation? That's right, he's saying they had to 
move to electronic documentation eventually. Well that's what he's 
saying, |'m just telling you what he is saying to me. Well maybe 
you're confused because it sounds like they did have paper 
documentation at one time, | don't know. I'm just going by what he's 
telling me. 


You there? You know this person as well? You think so? How were 
you related? Well, | can't do that. | can't just ask them, they have to 
tell me. No, that's not how this works, honey. I'm sorry, that's not 
how this works. You there. Yes, you. Did you know this person? I'm 
getting the sense that you know him. Yes, he's telling me that you 
work at Starbucks. No, no | didn't. I'm just telling you what he's 
saying to me. | don't know what you mean by "my people". Nobody 
was listening to your conversation, that's what he told me, that you 
work at Starbucks. He also says that you are from Wisconsin. Are 
you from there? | didn't even notice your accent honey, honestly. | 
just-no. No. That's what he told me, you barely have an accent 
there, but | can hear it now, yes. He worked at Starbucks too? Yes 
that makes sense. No, no, that's not how this works. He is not a 
loser, he says. He tells me he discovered his power while working at 
Starbucks in Wisconsin with you. Yes, that's what he's saying, does 
that mean something to you? No? Well, thank you all so much for 
sharing this experience, but I'm afraid we're out of time. 


Addendum 1: No, I'm sorry. No, see the fine print there? "For 
entertainment purposes only, no refunds will be given." It's right 
there in the writing. Yes? I'm sorry, you'll have to contact my 
lawyer's office if you have further questions. Yes. Director is his 
name. Thank you. 


SCP-2600-J: Bicycle Mafia 


Item #: SCP-2600-J 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2600-J is to be held within 
a standard containment chamber, located within Site-77. 
Personnel assigned to work with SCP-2600-J are to be given 
standard identity protection methods, such as fake beards and wigs. 
Standard Foundation bike locks are issued to all bicycles located 
within Site-77 to prevent abductions. 


Description: SCP-2600-J is a bicycle, manufactured by the 
Schwinn corporation in 1996. It is fully mobile, and will attempt to run 
down and abduct any personnel assigned to its containment, usually 
followed by an escape attempt. Other than this, SCP-2600-J 
displays no anomalous properties. 


Occasionally, media appearing to demand SCP-2600-u's immediate 
release will be delivered to Site-77. These will usually be 
accompanied by portions of bicycles which have been removed very 
roughly, such as portions of the frames and torn-up chains. Media 
will usually consist of pieces of paper covered in menacing tire 
tracks, ransom notes composed of newspaper clippings signed by 
the "Bicycle Mafia," or videos depicting several fedora-clad 
bicycles spinning their wheels aggressively. 


Personnel are advised not to let SCP-2600-u's cohorts intimidate 
them. 


Addendum: Transcript of a video delivered to Site-77 on 8/8/2008. 
Begin Transcript 


<0:01> Video begins, and appears to be taking place in 
an abandoned bike shop/Italian restaurant. Two bicycles 


are present, one red and one orange each wearing a 
feathered fedora. On the table in between them is a 
small red tricycle. 


<1:00> The red bicycle begins to spin its wheels rapidly, 
bouncing up and down in an aggressive manner. 


<2:22> The orange bicycle begins imitating the red 
bicycle. This continues in intervals for 3 minutes. 


<5:23> A hacksaw is produced. 
<5:24> [DATA EXPUNGED] 


The remains of the tricycle depicted in the video were delivered to 
Site-77 over the next 6 months. One piece at a time. 


Addendum 2600-JA: The Site-77 bicycle rack was compromised, 
with over twenty bicycles being stolen. Only a single broken lock 
was found at the scene. 


They got my Red Rocket! Those bastards! - Junior Researcher 
Hutchins. 


Addendum 2600-JAA: Research into possible connections with the 
Serpents Handle, Shkwin Cults, Motors n' Cars are Dumb Lid., 
or Ford Pinto Dog Kennel Association is ongoing. 


SCP-616-J: Class D Recruitment Process 


Item #: SCP-616 
Object Class: Enochian Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: A flesh-bound tome hardcover 
book containing SCP-616 is kept on an altar of darkness stored ina 
standard Safe-class containment locker in the dominion of the Order 
of Darkness at Site 19. SCP-616 may only be performed by Grand 
Warlocks personnel of Level 4 or higher, and only in accordance 
with standard monthly Class D personnel budgets with prior O5 
approval. 


Description: SCP-616 is an arcane ritual born from the darkest 
depths of the Nether domain a ritualistic process written in human 
blood created by Grand Warlock Master Ritualist Senior Researcher 
Dr. . Upon completion, up to twelve (12) living human subjects 
are summoned generated, which are suitable for induction as Class 
D personnel. SCP-616 was created to address the directive by the 
SCP Foundation Ethics Committee in response to increasing 
demand for Class D personnel for testing purposes, which 
threatened to exceed the number that could be safely inducted from 
standard channels. 


To perform SCP-616, a circle of the damned ritual circle must be 
inscribed into a flat smooth stone floor of at least 3 m x 3 m, which 
must match Illustration 616-1 exactly. The soul-name of the chosen 
damned numeric designation of the Class D personnel must be 
inscribed into Circle 3 using Roman numerals, and a list of their 
mortal sins convicted crimes and personality traits must be inscribed 
using Latin into Circles 4 and 5, respectively. Once the inscription 
has been double checked by at least two (2) other Grand Warlocks 
attending personnel, all personnel must immediately [DATA 
EXPUNGED] 


[DATA EXPUNGED] 


[DATA EXPUNGED] therefore cleaning staff must be kept on 
standby throughout the entire duration of SCP-616. 


Addendum 616-01: Illustration 616-1 
[DATA EXPUNGED] 


Addendum 616-02: Dr. has been removed from SCP-616 
duty, and is no longer allowed to personally alter Foundation 
documentation. Furthermore, Dr. is not to be referred to as 
"Grand Warlock Darkfyre". 


Test Log for SCP-2383-J 


After incident SCP-2383-Theta, any tests performed on SCP-2383-J 
are to use Class D personnel, unless authorized by both Level 4 
researchers. SCP-2383-J is to be removed from the test chamber by 
robotic means after testing is concluded. 


All test results are to be recorded in the following format: 


Date: 

Head Researcher: 

Test Item(s): For purposes of testing, this includes both personnel 
and items present for SCP-2383-J experiments 

SCP-2383-J Color: 

Test Results: 


Incident SCP-2383-Theta 

Date: / / 

Head Researcher: N/A 

Test Item(s): Agent M __, vending machine F45 (canned 
beverages) 

SCP-2383-J Color: Unobserved 

Test Results: AgentM accidentally exposed during transport of 
SCP-2383. Subject proceeds to break vending machine, and 
remove two rival brands of cola, as shown by a post-event stock- 
take. Explosion causes several small-scale containment breaches at 
Site . Containment regained, Agent M _ treated for 3rd degree 
burns, then returned to duty. 


It seems foodstuffs can also be "experimented" with. This warrants 
further investigation to what 2383 is able to use. - Dr. Aeish 


Date: / / 

Head Researcher: Dr. Aeish 

Test Item(s): D-1426, Small set of non-volatile chemicals. 
SCP-2383-J Color: Red 

Test Results: D-1426 causes a small explosion, even though 


When SCP-542 begins to suffer from organ failure, he may request 
a fresh organ to be supplied, and Foundation Medical Personnel will 
sedate him and perform the surgery. Despite constant requests, 
SCP-542 may not be allowed to perform invasive surgery upon 
himself except during observed testing. Old and discarded organs or 
tissue are to be collected for testing. 


In the event that SCP-542 should escape confinement, SCP-542 
may be subdued by high doses of tranquilizers or disabled via a net. 
Should he come into possession of any knives or shards of glass/ 
mirror that could be used to cut, nonlethal fire is permitted. 


Description: SCP-542 claims that it has been, at one time, a typical 
human of Caucasian descent, identifying as German in nationality. 
This story is supported by the fact that German appears to be his 
first language, speaking all other languages with a German accent. 
SCP-542 requests to be called "Herr Chirurg" or "Surgeon" by staff 
and is fluent in German, English, and French, and can speak a small 
bit of Polish and Italian. Standard IQ tests have revealed 542's IQ to 
range around 150, placing him as high intelligence. It is unknown 
how old 542 is; testing of various tissue samples has revealed 
nothing. He claims to have been ‘dreadfully normal’ before World 
War | started, and claims to have worked for the Nazi party, even if 
he found their goals 'boringly simple. 


He has been described as a "Frankenstein's Monster" in 
appearance. SCP-542 may hide his odd features under heavy 
clothing, but prefers to wear only a nice pair of slacks, revealing his 
hunched form, distended gut, warped ribcage, and bizarre arm 
structure. His skin is made from patches of various hues and 
shades, some of these healed together with scars while others are 
still stitched together. Non-symmetrical bone and muscle structure 
reveals that he has replaced the majority of his body over time, and 
admits to having worked with "helpers" before to replace such things 
as portions of his own spinal cord. Although his appearance can 
change with surgery, his arms are always too long for his body, and 
his hands have been modified greatly to have additional joints in the 
fingers. 


The skin is pulled rather tightly over 542's face, giving hima 
somewhat skeletal appearance along with the tendency for his 


available chemicals are non-volatile. Subject is treated for chemical 
burns, then returned to duty. 


Date: / / 

Head Researcher: Dr. Aeish 

Test Item(s): D-0268, One (1) kilogram of clay 

SCP-2383-J Color: Blue 

Test Results: D-0268 creates a small sculpture, which promptly 
vanishes. Surveillance cameras show on review that D-0268 
appears to create a hypercube in its true form. However, cameras 
do not contain sufficient detail to confirm this. 


Date: / / 

Head Researcher: Dr. Aeish 

Test Item(s): D-0268, One (1) kilogram of clay, Two (2) high-speed 
remote cameras placed near workbench 

SCP-2383-J Color: Green 

Test Results: D-0268 proceeds to mold clay onto the cameras, 
which proceed to become animate and attack D-0268. Test products 
are destroyed, remains filed as SCP-2383-7. Cleanup crews 
dispatched. 


Date: / / 

Head Researcher: Dr. Aeish 

Test Item(s): D-1087, Five (5) steel bars 5cm x 50cm x 5cm, One 
(1) welding torch 

SCP-2383-J Color: Blue 

Test Results: D-1087 creates a sculpture of the true form of what is 
currently theorized to be a 6-dimensional icosahedron. Product 
stored as SCP-2383-1. 


Date: / / 

Head Researcher: Dr. Aeish 

Test Item(s): One (1) dog. 

SCP-2383-J Color: N/A 

Test Results: Dog moved to inside SCP-2383-J area of effect. No 
response elicited. 


Date: / / 
Head Researcher: Dr. Bright 
Test Item(s): Dr. Bright, Access to a standard Foundation research 


laboratory 
SCP-2383-J Color: White 
Test Results: [REDACTED]