*SCP-2702-1 rotates the blackboard until it is 
facing SCP-2702-2, and lifts the tarp. 
SCP-2702-2 appears unaffected* 


SCP-2702-1: Prescott, what's the matter? Why 
aren't you hopping on one foot? 


SCP-2702-2: I'd say you have a screw loose 
Professor, but I'm hardly one to talk! 


*Canned laughter* 


SCP-2702-2: Those silly mind-affecting tricks 
won't work on robots like me! 


*SCP-2702-1 slaps his forehead in an 
exaggerated manner* 


SCP-2702-1: Of course, you're right! But then 
who can we test it on? 


SCP-2702-2: How about our audience? 
SCP-2702-1: Great idea, Prescott! 


*SCP-2702-1 replaces the tarp over the 
blackboard and rotates it so it is facing the 
camera again* 


SCP-2702-1: What I'm about to show you is a 
simple visual cognitomanipulative agent | 
came up with, that will cause you to hop on 
one foot for ten seconds once you see it. If you 
don't want to look silly, then close your eyes 
now, I'll tell you when it's safe to open them 
again. 


*SCP-2702-1 lifts the tarp off the blackboard, 
displaying [DATA EXPUNGED]. Tests have 
confirmed that viewers of the program are 
affected in the manner SCP-2702-1 had 
described. After approximately 10 seconds, 
SCP-2702-1 places the tarp back over the 
blackboard.* 


SCP-2702-1: If you chose not to watch, you 
can open your eyes now. If you did watch, 
wasn't that a hoot? I'll bet you want to know 
how it works, right? 


SCP-309: Plush Toy 


Item #: SCP-309 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-309 is currently stored in 
a secure glove box in the level 2 research lab at Site- . Routine 
physical examinations of SCP-309 as well as experiments involving 
small animals may only be conducted using the glove box. Removal 
of SCP-309 from the glove box for testing on larger animals or 
humans requires the approval of Dr. or equivalent level 4 
command personnel. Human testing is restricted to D-class 
personnel. 


Description: SCP-309 is a small, plush stuffed animal that looks as 
if it has been turned completely inside out. Golden-orange fur is 
present along the seams, while a small amount of cotton stuffing 
and two protruding eyes are visible on the head. The interior of 
SCP-309 is understuffed with cotton, giving it a flexible and cuddly 
feel. 


SCP-309 has no effect on inanimate objects; however, contact with 
living subjects is both dangerous and life-threatening. Humans and 
animals lightly brushing SCP-309 with a finger or a similarly small 
portion of the body display severe, non-localized discomfort for tens 
of minutes afterward. Humans also report feeling extreme nausea, 
despite the fact that SCP-309 does not induce vomiting. The 
discomfort and nausea are so overwhelming that even the most 
hardened subjects have proven unable to voluntarily maintain 
contact with SCP-309 for longer than a few seconds. 


If SCP-309 is pressed firmly against a subject, or the subject quickly 
picks up SCP-309 and attempts to hold it, the subject will be 
violently and painfully turned inside-out over the course of five to ten 
seconds. Skeletons are unaltered, but all soft tissues are inverted 
such that muscles, tendons, ligaments, and various internal organs 


SCP-2702-2: |'m sure they're just jumping to 
find out! 


*Canned laughter* 


“The scene shifts to show SCP-2702-1 in front 
of a green screen effect, displaying [DATA 
EXPUNGED]. To request access to the 
remainder of the transcript, contact 
Researcher Ying.* 


The following is a partial list of the currently aired episodes of 
SCP-2702. Researchers recording said episodes are requested to 
use the following format: 


Episode Title: [Season X Episode X], "[Name of Episode]" 

Brief Summary of Episode: [Basic plot and subject of Episode] 
Brief Summary of Anomalous Experiments: [Goal and procedure/ 
result of experiments] 

Notes: Additional documentation (optional) 


Episode Title Brief Summai_ Brief Summa Notes 
of Episode, of Anomalou 
Experiments 

$1E1 ‘Alien SCP-2702-1 An experiment|is SCP-2702-1 


Lifeforms and | demonstrates | conducted, seemed to be 
You' several live involving the use under the 
biological of a specific impression that 


specimens of | combination of} viewers of the 
unknown origin, Communication program would 
some of which| technology to | be able to 


appear to be intercept trivially procure 
sapient. extraterrestrial) an example of 
SCP-2702-1 transmissions.| the 

proceeds to Attempts to aforementioned 


identify them by recreate the device. 
species, planel experiment have 

of origin, and | thus far failed 

gives a brief due to lack of 

summary on specialized 

each. equipment, 


including what 


SCP-2702-1 
referred to asa 
Analyzer! 
S1E2'A New | SCP-2702-1 An experiment|is Several new 
Dimension of | presents a conducted to insights about 
Fun' variety of spatial create a extradimensional 
anomalies, and ‘teleportation phenomena 
explains the booth’. have been 
physics behind Researchers gained via study 
them. have had partial of SCP-2702-1's 
success descriptions, and 


replicating the | research is 
experiment, but ongoing. 
the resources 
and energy 
required 
rendered it 
impractical for 
effective 
Foundation use. 
S1E3'No Time The episode Experiment Introduction of 
to Waste' begins with involves using | SCP-2702-2 
SCP-2702-1 superconductors 
lamenting his | anda particle 
lack of a lab accelerator to 


partner. accomplish time 
SCP-2702-1 travel. Attempts 
decides to by researchers 


remedy this by; to duplicate the 
building a robot, experiment in 
but then decides this episode 
it would be have thus far 
easier to travel been 

to the future ard unsuccessful. 
retrieve the robot 

after it was 

already built. At 

one point, 

multiple 


S1E4 'All About 
Memetics and 
Cognitohazards' 


S1E5 'Gods and 
Monsters’ 


instances of 

SCP-2702-1 are 

visible on 

screen, as a 

result of 

temporal 

displacement. 

SCP-2702-1 and Procedures for 
SCP-2702-2 creating mind- 
explain the affecting agents 
nature of are exhibited. 
cognitohazardousSCP-2702-1 


Episode 
contains one 
active visual 
memetic agent, 
threat status 


memes, warns viewers negligible. 
including severalnot to include | Several 
demonstrations. dangerous censored 

See above commands in | cognitohazards, 
transcript for such agents capable of 


further details.| without parental 


authorization. 


various effects, 
are also present, 
67% of which 
have been 
decoded as of / 
/20 . Analysis 
of this episode 
has contributed 
significantly 
towards 
Foundation 
memetics 
research. 
Attempting to 
recreate the 
ritual in this 


SCP-2702-1 andAn experiment 
SCP-2702-2 visitinvolves a ritual 
various locales, designed to 


around the summon episode resulted 
world,° while [REDACTED].| in acontainment 
SCP-2702-1 SCP-2702-1 breach and 
expounds on the warns viewers| complete 


history and that this should lockdown of Site 
mythology of not be attempted64. Containment 
various groups, without parental was 


S1E6 'The 
Wonders of Al' 


S1E7 'The SCP 
Foundation’ 


reestablished 
with 27 
casualties. As of 

/ /20 , level 4 
authorization is 
required to 
attempt to 
recreate any 
experiments 
seen on 
SCP-2702. 
None 


and civilizations, supervision. 
including the 

Church of the 

Broken God. 


SCP-2702-1 Several 
attempts to showexperiments with 
audiences how Al code are 

to build their ownperformed. 
instances of Results of 
SCP-2702-2. At research and 
various points in experiments 


the episode, from this 
SCP-2702-2's | episode are 
personality is | available with 
altered in level 3 clearance 
various ways. | from the 
Foundation Al 
research 
department. 


Instead of the | No experiments The depiction 
usual laboratory are performed in and description 
setting, this this episode, but of the 

episode appears SCP-2702-1 Foundation in 
to take place in gives a tutorial) this episode is 
Site-24. on the proper | highly accurate, 
SCP-2702-1 andformat for writing with the 
SCP-2702-2 are an SCP report exception that 
shown infiltrating the guards and 
the facility and security forces 
explaining the were portrayed 


nature of the with comic 
Foundation and ineptitude. 
various SCPs Several 


they encounter, 
while avoiding 
guards and 
researchers. 


individuals who 
were stationed 
at Site-24 during 
the time of the 
broadcast can 
be identified in 
the recording. 
No security 
breaches of the 
nature displayed 
in the program 
have ever been 
recorded at 
Site-24. 


$1E8 ‘How it will SCP-2702-1 and At the prompting After reviewing 


End' 


SCP-2702-2 
discuss several 
situations that 


of SCP-2702-1|, the episode, 
SCP-2702-2 ran Foundation 
several hundred astronomers 


could potentially iterations ofa | have 


lead to CK-class computer 


restructuring 
scenarios, XK- 


successfully 
identified 
[REDACTED]. 


simulation 
detailing a 


class end-of-the- potential impact Due to its non- 
world scenarios, event involving Newtonian 


Zk-class reality 
failure events, 
and other such 
scenarios. 
Topics covered 
include 
uncontrollable 
self-replicating 
nanotechnology 
(the 'gray goo' 
scenario), 
containment 
failure of SCP- 
, and an 
impact event 
between the 


the Earth and | properties, the 
[REDACTED].| likelihood of a 


Each iteration | collision with 
was not Earth in the near 
individually future cannot 


depicted, but the currently be 
final results were estimated. 
summarized at 

the end of the 

program. 

Despite taking 

into account 

potential 

responses by 

the Foundation 

and other 


Earth and Groups of 
[REDACTED].| Interest, the 
SCP-2702-1 simulation 
emphasizes the inevitably 

fact that these | concluded with a 
are only asmajl GH - class Dead 


sampling of Greenhouse 

many such scenario within 

potential events. one month of the 
impact. 


Footnotes 

1. Attempts to identify this individual have so far been unsuccessful. 

2. On occasion, SCP-2702-1 engages in highly complex technical 

explanations. For an overview and analysis of all currently recorded 

examples, see Document 2702-theta. 

3. In S1E6 "The Wonders of Al", SCP-2702-1 demonstrates 

samples of SCP-2702-2's source code. Attempts by Foundation 

researchers to run said code revealed [REDACTED], which is 

consistent with current Foundation knowledge of Al theory. 

4. Doctor Wondertainment is listed as one of the program's 

sponsors. 

5. Including what have been identified as the sites of SCP-  , SCP- 
, and SCP-_ . Foundation security forces stationed at the 

aforementioned sites have never observed any disturbances or 

intruders matching the events documented in SCP-2702. 


« SCP-2701 | SCP-2702 | SCP-2703 » 


SCP-2703: For a Good Time Call 


Item #: SCP-2703 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: Mobile Task Forces 
Zeta-16-01, -02, and -03 (respectively referred to as "Newspaper's 
Boys", "Gearlist" and "Restraining Orders") have been organized 
with the purpose of locating the different manifestations of 
SCP-2703. MTF-Zeta-16-01 is to confiscate all newspapers 
containing instances of SCP-2703. The newspapers are to be held 
in a Level-2 Document Locker at Site-98. 


MTF-Zeta-16-02 is to track and delete instances of SCP-2703 found 
in advertisements websites. Websites' domains with continued 
manifestations of SCP-2703 are to be blocked from all major internet 
service providers. 


MTF-Zeta-16-03 is to erase instances of SCP-2703 written on public 
restroom doors. Locations with continued manifestations of 
SCP-2703 are to be bought by a Foundation front company and 
designed as Provisional Site-98-X. 


Civilians coming in contact with SCP-2703 are to be administered 
Class-C amnestics. During testing, a minimum of 1 Foundation- 
owned restaurant is to be available in the area of Manchester. 


Update: As of 2017/ / , MTF-Zeta-16-01 and -02 have been 
disbanded. MTF-Zeta-16-03 is to erase instances of SCP-2703 
present in women's public restrooms. 


Description: SCP-2703 is the message "For a good time call: 
092-791-697-518-6" manifesting on newspaper announcements, 
advertisements websites and on public restroom doors in the city of 
Manchester, United Kingdom. 


Should an individual (referred to as the subject) call the number on a 
telephone of any kind after reading SCP-2703, an entity (referred to 
as SCP-2703-1) will manifest within 2 to 5 hours, usually 3 meters in 
front of the subject. This effect is triggered only if the subjects are 
aware of the literal meaning of the message, and if they have read 
an original instance of SCP-2703. Copies and photographs of 
SCP-2703 do not display its anomalous properties. 


SCP-2703-1 is a tripedal digitigrade avian creature, similar to an 
Eurasian Eagle-Owl (Bubo bubo), possessing elongated caprine 
horns and leporine ears, standing 1.77m tall. SCP-2703-1 
possesses 5 tentacle-like appendages of adjustable length, located 
on its back. Each appendage is of different colour (red, pink, yellow, 
blue and green) and is safe for human consumption'. Tests 
confirmed that the blood of subjects having eaten SCP-2703-1's 
appendages contained high levels of serotonin and dopamine. 


SCP-2703-1 has thus far been fluent in every language presented to 
it, but communicates solely with the subject. SCP-2703-1's favourite 
method of communication is by singing in a mezzo-soprano voice, 
but it will stop if asked to. Despite referring to itself as "Countess of 
Folas, Duchess of Fatyma and Marquisette of Dispria", SCP-2703-1 
equally responds to any given name. 


SCP-2703-1's only apparent goal is to entertain the subjects with 
pleasurable recreational activities, such as attending theatrical 
performances. SCP-2703-1 does so by teleporting the subjects and 
itself in a location chosen by the subjects. This effect is limited only 
to theaters, movie theaters, restaurants and pubs. Following a 24- 
hours period, SCP-2703-1 will demanifest, after thanking the 
subjects with a 50 second long song performed in an operatic style, 
where it displays its gratitude towards them. However, should the 
subject ask it politely to leave before the 24-hour lapse, SCP-2703-1 
will demanifest following a 20 seconds song. 


Addendum 2703-1: The following are excerpts from Testing Logs 
2703-11-A to -D. 


Testing Log 2703-11-A - 2017/ / 
Subject(s): D-6053 (Male, 39), SCP-2703-1 


Procedure: D-6053 was made aware of SCP-2703-1's 
nature. Upon manifestation, D-6053 was ordered to ask 
SCP-2703-1 to teleport him to [REDACTED], a 
Foundation-front restaurant. An area of 100 m? was 
evacuated. 

Results: D-6053 and SCP-2703-1 talked for 1 hour 
about various topics, such as fate and the meaning of 
love. D-6053 ordered roasted beef, while SCP-2703-1 
ordered 2 kg of raw tuna (Thunnus). D-6053 was then 
ordered to politely ask it to leave. Following the 
demanifestation event, a total of £ 290.97 materialized 
within the restaurant's cash register. 

Analysis: SCP-2703-1's ability to materialize currency 
was unknown before Testing Log 2703-11-A. Previous 
testing showed that this was, in fact, the first time it used 
this ability. Further research is ongoing -Dr. N 


Testing Log 2703-11-B - 2017/ / 


Subject(s): D-6175 (Male, 27), SCP-2703-1 
Procedure: Testing was done to determine in what 
circumstances SCP-2703-1 materializes the currency. 
The procedure was the same as in Testing Log 2703-11- 
A. 

Results: Despite being made aware of SCP-2703-1's 
nature, D-6175 screamed in terror upon SCP-2703-1's 
manifestation. SCP-2703-1 dematerialized shortly after. 
Testing was aborted. 

Analysis: /t is to be noted that SCP-2703-1 showed 
signs of great distress before dematerializing. Future 
testing is to be done with less impressionable personnel. 
-Dr. N 


Testing Log 2703-11-C - 2017/ /