(SCP-2902-1 stands up and bows. 
SCP-2902-2 jumps on SCP-2902-1's head and 
bows as well.) 


(SCP-2902-2 jumps off of SCP-2902-1's head 
onto the floor, and sits in an upright position.) 


Forgive me, Ms. Chang. Miles usually has 
music and other performers during this act. I'll 
do my best without them. (SCP-2902-1 begins 
to clap and stamp feet in rhythm; 
SCP-2902-2's skin closes its eyes, and nods 
its head, possibly trying to time the beat. After 
several seconds, it opens its eyes again and 
both bodies begin to move in a clockwise 
circle. SCP-2902-1 begins to sing as 
SCP-2902-2 pantomimes actions SCP-2902-1 
describes.) 


[During the performance, SCP-2902-1 
alternated its voice between a low British 
accent while "speaking" through SCP-2902-2's 
skin, and a gravelly American accent for the 
skeleton. To avoid confusion in this document, 
text below that is un-bolded represents 
SCP-2902-2's skin, text in bold represents 
SCP-2902-2's skeleton.] 


I'm Miles! I'm Miles! And we're gonna put a 
smile 

On your face, so relax, and stay with us 
awhile! 

We'll walk you through the story, we hope it 
won't bore ye! 

And we'll show you how the Bonecat attained 
its glory. 


One disturbing development: prior reports indicate that SCP-342 can 
only take the form of a ticket for mass transit, whereas in this case, it 
took on the form of a ticket for a stage play. | understand that there 
is a group in the Foundation that is seeking to re-open 
experimentation on the object in light of these new developments. 
Further updates as events warrant. 


« SCP-341 | SCP-342 | SCP-343 » 


(SCP-2902-2's skin comes forward while its 
skeleton retreats behind it.) 


| wandered through the streets of an Indian 
town. 

| was always hungry, my fur quite grungy. 
Thrown out of my home, and so | roamed 
Until | was nothing but skin and bones! 


(SCP-2902-2's bodies switch positions.) 


So for years | was alone just wanderin' 
Until | met this kiddie called Nandin! 


(SCP-2902-2's skin rolls its eyes.) 


Honestly, Bones, the couplets you try to make 


Shut up, rug boy! 


[SCP-2902-1 stops clapping; in normal voice.] 
Miles! 


(SCP-2902-2's bows head in apparent 
embarrassment.) Right, sorry, ahem — 


(Rhythm resumes.) 


Now Nandin was nice, and we liked him at 
once 

He gave us a meal, water runs right through 
me! 

But his Uncle Rakesh was a rather mean man. 
He hit Nandin in the head with a frying pan! 


(SCP-2902-1 claps hands loudly and pulls 
head; skeleton falls out with skull shaking and 
teeth chattering. SCP-2902-1 replaces head 
and resumes beat. SCP-2902-2's bodies walk 
in place alongside each other.) 


A circus came in, Nandin wanted in! 

So he ran away again for the umpteenth time. 
And we tagged along, and stayed all day 
long, 

Watching the freaks in the act to calliope 
chimes! 


But Rakesh drove up to take Nandin back, 
and Nandin screamed and cried. 

And Nandin kicked, and Nandin fought 

But against his Uncle it was all for naught. 


So I leapt into action and attacked. 
(SCP-2902-2's skin hisses loudly.) 

And | raked that man along the back. 
(SCP-2902-2's skeleton bands claws against 
floor.) 

But Rakesh was stronger and he got me 
tuckered 

And ran me over with his car, that sick 
mother — 


[SCP-2902-1, in normal voice] Miles! 


(SCP-2902-2's skeleton looks at SCP-2902-1.) 
What? 


(SCP-2902-1 sighs and resumes beat. Tempo 
is much slower. SCP-2902-2's skeleton curls 
up on ground in fetal position, with skin 
covering face like a shroud. SCP-2902-1 
begins to sing in a lamenting voice.) 


So for weeks, after that, everything went 
dark. 

And | felt the pain, of my broken heart. 
Trapped in a body that was crushed and 
cold, 

And mixed in the darkness of worlds untold... 
(Tempo begins to quicken again, as 
SCP-2902-1 begins to sing progressively 


faster.) 


But | came back! (Yes | did!) 

| came back! (Yes | did!) 

Through the work of the finest of the Circus' 
highest! 

The mysterious beings with magic profound, 
Yes, it was them, could it be? 


Bring in the Clowns! Bring in the Clowns! 


(SCP-2902-1 begins to repeat "Bring in the 
Clowns" in a multitude of voices for several 
seconds before separating itself. 
SCP-2902-1's skeleton leaps onto 
SCP-2902-2's; the bones from each become 
mixed together while SCP-2902-2's screeches 
loudly.) 


So they dug me up! Right out from the soil! 
Plopped me down on the table and began 
their toil! 


(Both skeletons continue to loudly mix with 
each other.) 


As the Clowns did their work, it was pure 
confusion 

Lots of whistles, and honking, accidental 
contusions. 

My old skin was cast, and my bones 
removed, 

And stuffed into the body of a maine coon 
anew. 


(SCP-2902-2 rejoins its bodies into one and 
stands up, looking around in apparent 
surprise.) 


The first thing | saw as | came back from the 
dead, 


Was aman most peculiar, with an upside- 
down head! 


(SCP-2902-1's skeleton twists its skull upside 
down and kneels as SCP-2902-2 walks up to 
it.) 


And he said "The clowns did their work well, 
take a look at you now! 

Come with us as we travel the world! 

You now have the powers others only could 
dream! 

And to make your act perfect I've found you a 
team!" 


(SCP-2902-1 comes back together again and 
pets SCP-2902-2.) 


[SCP-2902-1, in normal voice.] 


So Miles and | were reunited, and the Circus 
became our home. 

And that, my friend, is the end of the tale, of 
the man, the cat, and their bones. 


(SCP-2902-1 and SCP-2902-2 bow to 
Researcher Chang. Interview is considered 
concluded.) 


<End Log, [1027]> 


Footnotes 
1. Skeletons are completely clean upon emergence, lacking any 
tissue or bloodstains. 


« SCP-2901 | SCP-2902 | SCP-2903 » 


SCP-2903: Garden of the Manichees 


Item #: SCP-2903 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: Provisional Containment 
Site-131 is to be continuously occupied by Containment Team Nu-9 
("Iron Chefs"), recruited from Level 0 Support Personnel with 
horticultural and/or culinary training; and Containment Team Nu-10 
("Cucumber Munchers"), recruited from members of the Foundation 
front organization known as the Reformed and Universal Church of 
the Apostle of Light, who are to rigorously adhere to the lifestyle 
restrictions historically practiced by the Manichaean! electae?. 


Members of Containment Team Nu-9 are to harvest all instances of 
SCP-2903-2 at sunrise, then prepare and serve the harvested 
produce to members of Containment Team Nu-10 throughout the 
day, before uprooting all instances of SCP-2903-2. To ensure that 
members of Containment Team Nu-10 satisfy the religious 
conditions necessary for the safe consumption of SCP-2903-2 fruits, 
they are encouraged to regularly hold religious services and study 
Foundation-provided religious literature. Furthermore, the manifests 
of all supply convoys departing for Site-131 are to be examined for 
any contraband that would threaten the lifestyle restrictions of the 
members of Containment Team Nu-10. 


Description: SCP-2903 is the designation given to certain related 
anomalous phenomena located at 24. °N,118. °E, in Fujian 
Province, China. SCP-2903-1 designates a phenomenon that 
causes fruit-bearing vines, the varieties of which are henceforth 
designated SCP-2903-2a through SCP-2903-2e, to spontaneously 
grow during each sunrise. The primary productivity of SCP-2903-1 is 
estimated to be 7500 gC d-! (grams of carbon per day). Instances of 
SCP-2903-2 physically resemble non-anomalous counterparts of the 
same species, but are thought to have indefinitely long lifespans. 
After an instance of SCP-2903-2 is uprooted or otherwise destroyed, 


another identical instance of SCP-2903-2 will soontaneously grow at 
the same location, unless the fruit of that instance was previous 
consumed by an individual who rigorously adheres to the lifestyle 
restrictions historically practiced by the Manichaean electae. These 
necessary lifestyle restrictions are listed as follows. 


1. Sincerely and continuously held belief in the Manichaean faith. 

2. Renunciation of one's former occupation and material lifestyle. 

3. Complete abstinence from meat and intoxicants since 
conversion to the Manichaean faith. 

4. Complete abstinence from sexual activity3 since conversion to 
the Manichaean faith. 


Instances of SCP-2903-2 possess several other anomalous 
characteristics besides their biological immortality and automatic 
replacement. When an SCP-2903-2 fruit is consumed by an 
individual who does not rigorously adhere to the lifestyle restrictions 
listed above, that individual is subjected to an anomalous effect, the 
nature of which depends on the type of SCP-2903-2 fruit that was 
consumed. Furthermore, the presence of uneaten SCP-2903-2 fruits 
causes meteorological anomalies within a circular region centered 
around them, the nature of which also depends on the type of 
SCP-2903-2 fruit. The radius of this region grows quadratically 
relative to the number of uneaten SCP-2903-2 fruits in close 
proximity. The varieties of SCP-2903-2 and their associated 
anomalous effects are listed as follows. 


Designation Species Effect upon Meteorological 
Consumptio! Effect 
SCP-2903-2a | Cucumis sativus The consumer, Increased 
(Cucumber) emits light with) a intensity and 


luminous flux | duration of 
measured at sunlight. 
1250 lumens for 
TO seconds. 

SCP-2903-2b | Citrullus lanatus The consumer| Increased 

(watermelon) | sweats 1.5 Lof frequency and 

distilled water | intensity of 
over 30 rainfall. 
seconds. 


SCP-2903-2c | Phaseolus The air Increased 


vulgaris surrounding the frequency and 
(common bean) consumer intensity of 
moves outward winds. 
from the 


consumer ata 
rate of 75 m/s for 


5 seconds. 
SCP-2903-2d | Solanum The consumer) Spontaneous 
lycopersicum | spontaneously; combustion of 
(tomato plant) | combusts. flammable 
maiteriais. 
SCP-2903-2e | Vitis vinifera A vacuum None observed. 
(common grape temporarily 
vine) forms around the 
consumer, 
resulting in near- 
immediate 
death. 


When a sufficient number of uneaten SCP-2903-2 fruits are in close 
proximity, they collectively become part of a sapient entity or group 
of sapient entities, henceforth designated SCP-2903-3. SCP-2903-3, 
which is aware of the area immediately surrounding those uneaten 
SCP-2903-2 fruits, is capable of communicating by producing 
vocalizations in Middle Persian through an unknown means. 
SCP-2903-3 was first encountered in 1978, during the initial 
containment of SCP-2903, which took place after the government of 
the People's Republic of China requested the Foundation's 
assistance with investigating reports of spontaneous combustion in 
Fujian Province, many of which were attributed to the consumption 
of "cursed fruit" during the famine caused by the Great Leap 
Forward. The reports were found to be clustered around 24. °N, 
118. °E, the site of an abandoned temple described by local 
eyewitnesses as a "temple of the elements." Agents exploring the 
temple reported the presence of SCP-2903-3, but were unable to 
communicate with it due to language barriers. Dr. Mirza Rostami, a 
scholar of Middle Persian, was dispatched to interview the entity. 


+ Interview Report-2903-1 


Interviewed: SCP-2903-3 
Interviewer: Dr. Mirza Rostami 


Foreword: Interview conducted in Middle 
Persian. 


<Begin Log> 


Dr. Mirza Rostami: Greetings! Can you 
understand me? 


SCP-2903-3: Yes, yes, we can! Please tell us 
that have you come to liberate us! 


Dr. Mirza Rostami: | cannot say. You will 
have to identify yourself first. 


SCP-2903-3: Of course, of course, how could 
we forget? We are the Elements of Light‘; 
sons and garments of the First Man, martyr 
before the King of Darkness. In our defeated, 
humiliated state, we sit before you, trapped in 
the fruits of this garden. 


Dr. Mirza Rostami: Is that so? For how long 
have you been in this state? 


SCP-2903-3: Since the First Creation, when 
the demons swallowed us whole and 
imprisoned us in matter. That being said, we 
can remember only the last few years. 


Dr. Mirza Rostami: Do you happen to know 
why that is the case? 


SCP-2903-3: We can only guess. Most of our 
memory is... hazy, and indistinguishable, for it 
is of when our existence was dispersed 
throughout the fruits of this world. The faithful 
electae consumed our particles and liberated 
us through their blessed digestion, but with 


time, the numbers of the electae diminished, 
and we began to coalesce. 


Dr. Mirza Rostami: What exactly do you 
mean by "coalesce?" 


SCP-2903-3: With great effort, we force our 
particles to come together. They move here, to 
this country, where we once had found the last 
surviving community of the electae. For 
several centuries, they carried out our 
liberation here, until something recent—we do 
not know what—caused them to abandon us°. 
Once the electae departed, we found 
ourselves trapped here in this garden, isolated 
and alone. 


Dr. Mirza Rostami: | see. Now, is there 
anything you could tell me about the recent 
spontaneous human combustions that have 
taken place in this region? | have been 
informed that many of them have been 
attributed to the consumption of these fruits. 


SCP-2903-3: When the impure consume the 
fruits, they will not free our particles, but 
release them back into this world, where we 
will manifest. Elsewhere, when we find that our 
particles are present in too high a 
concentration, we will manifest as well. 


Dr. Mirza Rostami: Do you have any control 
over these manifestations? 


SCP-2903-3: No, but when we are liberated 
from the fruits of this garden—from this 
damned matter—they will cease, for we will no 
longer manifest in this world. 


Dr. Mirza Rostami: If so, | will leave, and see 
what can be done to help you. 


SCP-2903-3: Hurry. It is upon us that your 
salvation depends! 


<End Log> 


Closing Statement: After the interview, the 
Cheng Committee was formed by members of 
the Department of Antiquities to devise Special 
Containment Procedures for SCP-2903. Over 
the following five years, the Cheng Committee 
fabricated lost Manichaean religious literature 
and organized the Foundation front 
organization known as the Reformed and 
Universal Church of the Apostle of Light in 
order to recruit personnel suitable for the 
containment of SCP-2903. In 1985, the temple 
at24. °N,118. ° E was redesignated 
Provisional Containment Site-131, and 
Containment Teams Nu-9 and Nu-10 were 
formed, inaugurating the containment of 
SCP-2903. 


Footnotes 

1. Manichaeism is a dualistic religion, incorporating Zoroastrian, 
Christian, and Gnostic elements, founded by the prophet Mani in 
Persia during the 3rdcentury CE. 

2. Followers of Manichaeism were divided into two classes: the 
monastics known as the electae and the laymen known as the 
hearers. 

3. Including but not limited to sexual intercourse, non-penetrative 
sex, and masturbation. 

4. In the Manichaean cosmology, the Elements of Light are light, 
water, wind, fire, and ether. 

5. Interviews of local eyewitnesses suggest that the community of 
electae in Fujian Province became targets of political violence during 
the Cultural Revolution for their heterodox religious beliefs and 
resistance to the collectivization of their lands. 


« SCP-2902 | SCP-2903 | SCP-2904 » 


SCP-343: "God" 


Item #: SCP-343 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-343 resides in a 6.1 m by 
6.1 m (20 ft by 20 ft) room at Minimal Security Site 17. It should be 
brought any items it requests and visited by at least one staff 
member each day. Attempts to add further safety precautions or 
required clearances are unnecessary/impossible due to the nature 
of SCP-343 (see description).