Results: In the introductory scene where Holden incites a mob to 
murder the Reverend by falsely accusing the Reverend of rape and 
bestiality, a bystander named Frederick is present in the mob; 
however, instead of participating, the bystander leaves in disgust. 
The narrator comments that "The weak coward Frederick was never 
seen again." 


Date: / / 

Test Material: Telephone Directory (2003). 
Results: No change. 

Date: / / 

Test Material: 12 Angry Men, by Reginald Rose. 


Results: The list of characters specifies that the courthouse guard is 
named Fred; he is described as "disappointed that he will be 
excluded from the jurors’ deliberations". 


Date: / / 
Test Material: Mein Kampf, by Adolf Hitler (German original) 


Results: No change for the first minutes, followed by an insertion of 


to effects on technology. Electronics and complex machinery 
brought into SCP-3292 cease functionality immediately upon entry, 
prohibiting the use of drones. It is hypothesized electronics fail due 
to the electromagnetic fields present throughout SCP-3292, though 
there is no current explanation for non-electrical machinery. 
Currently, Foundation agents have mapped out approximately 
35km? from SCP-3292-2. 


SCP-3292-2 is the designation of a statue 17m in height composed 
of a combination of igneous and sedimentary rocks. SCP-3292-2 
resembles a human of indeterminate sex and ethnic background, 
and appears to be sitting with its legs crossed and hands cupped in 
its lap. 87% of the surface of SCP-3292-2 has been carved with 
several elaborate scenes depicting organisms from a number of time 
periods. Scenes and identified organisms include: 


¢ Brachiopods and trilobites from the Ordovician period 

¢ Early terrestrial arthropods from the Devonian period 

* Primitive Synapsids and terrestrial invertebrates from the 
Permian period! 

* Therapsids and archosaurs from the Triassic period 

Herbivorous ornithischians and theropods from the 

Cretaceous period 


Test results have shown that SCP-3292-2 was created roughly 2.5 
million years ago, coinciding with the evolution of the genus homo. 
However, SCP-3292-2 has not shown signs of weathering 
consistent with non-anomalous artifacts of a similar age or 
composition. 


stopped by Foundation personnel. 
SCP-3292-2 has demonstrated the ability to shed and rejoin pieces 
of itself measuring up to 1% of its original mass. In all instances, 
these pieces take the form of animate pebbles arranged ina 
humanoid shape with distinct limbs, a head, and torso, henceforth 
referred to as SCP-3292-3. SCP-3292-3 are animate, and are kept 
intact by an anomalous attractive force that levitates their body parts 
up to .5cm away from their torsos. SCP-3292-3 range in height from 
5cm to 18cm. 


The observed sole purpose of SCP-3292-3 is a caretaker role. 
SCP-3292-3 have been observed to tend to the emotional and 
physical needs of SCP-3292-4, observe visitors to SCP-3292, and 
escort SCP-3292-4 into SCP-32922. SCP-3292-3 are presumed to 
act on SCP-3292-2's behalf, as SCP-3292-2 is immobile. 


SCP-3292-4 is the collective designation for the flora and fauna of 
SCP-3292. All of SCP-3292-4 have been observed to be organisms 
thought to be extinct or are critically endangered’. SCP-3292-4 do 
not require sustenance, and do not carry out standard biological 
processes. From a medical standpoint, all of SCP-3292-4 are 
Clinically deceased. 


Should an individual attempt to remove SCP-3292-4 from the vicinity 
of SCP-3292, multiple instances of SCP-3292-3 will attempt to 
apprehend them. However, SCP-3292-3 are unable to physically 
restrain any human due to their minute size, and are considered to 
be harmless. Apprehension attempts have included SCP-3292-3 
pulling on the pant legs of personnel, ambushing their feet, tugging 
hair, hitting shins, and clinging to their clothing. 


Addendum-01: On 09/01/ , Foundation personnel attempted to 
remove an instance of SCP-3292-4 (one Raphus cucullatus*) from 
SCP-3292 through the primary entrance. SCP-3292-3 were 
unsuccessful in retrieving the instance, and Foundation personnel 
managed to escort the instance 12m from the entrance before the 
instance expired. Within three seconds, the instance of SCP-3292-4 
began a rapid process of decay, and within twenty-eight seconds, 
only the skeletal system remained. No further attempts by 
Foundation personnel are to be made to remove any instance of 
SCP-3292-4 from SCP-3292. 


Recovered Documentation-3292: The following journal was 
retrieved by Foundation personnel after the initial discovery of 
SCP-3292. The journal was found in SCP-3292-2's lap, and despite 
being dated as over a century old, was recovered in mint condition. 
Excerpts of note are documented below. 


04/12/84 


I've stumbled upon something extraordinary today, and 


by the very Queen herself I'd swear that this may mark a 
certain turning point in my expedition. 


In my hunt for the viking treasures of Clan Gunnir, my 
ventures brought to me to the outskirts of a small fishing 
port town just outside of Grangemout. It was here that | 
learned from the local butcher of an ancient and mystical 
forest, watched over by a guardian of immeasurable 
power. He assured me iit was simply a fable passed 
between the children, though I've never been one to 
leave a stone unturned! 


The journey was strenuous. Horrid rains battered against 
my back, and the winds were so powerful | was nearly 
blown away! | traveled many miles with little signal of an 
impending destination, until from over the hills, | saw the 
tree lines. Thousands of conifers reaching towards the 
heavens in symphonic unison, a kingdom of timber 
begging me to explore what laid inside. 


| was so collywobbled, | had nearly forgotten my 
homburg on the rock where | had stopped to take a 
breath! Without sparing another moment, | pressed 
forward past the wooden giants, and entered the 
forbidden conclave of trees. 

Even now, | am in awe of what | found. 


As | entered the forest, the rain that had been 
ceaselessly clambering against me came to a sudden 
halt, in much of a similar fashion to the drought dance of 
the UliayahUliayah tribe. Warmth enveloped me ina 
blanket, the chirping of birds signaling the coming of 
spring singing jollily. It was as if | had entered an entirely 
bloody new world, nothing but green as far as | could 
see. 


I'm unaware of how long I've been here now, as my 
pocket watch doesn't seem to be operating functionally, 
though | stopped to write as soon as | found somewhere 
to sit. I'm going to explore more now. 


More to come upon further findings. 
04/13/84 


This magical thicket continues to amaze me. It has been 
well over a day since my arrival, as | have watched the 
sun rise and set in the sky, and yet | feel as rested as | 
did when | entered these woods. | don't seem to need 
water, and | feel similarly unhungry, though I've had an 
odd craving for Yorkshire pudding for quite some time 
now... 


I've come to believe that this forest is in some kind of 
loop, or something similar anyhow. | can't quite put it into 
words, but | believe that | am still in yesterday, today. 
And though my above findings are incredible, they pale 
in comparison to what | discovered traverse these 
mystical plains. 


| encountered my first instance of animal life after several 
hours of walking through the groves. A small rodent that 
had burrowed itself under a tree stump. Initially, | thought 
little of the small fellow, until | sat down to inspect him 
further. It would have seemed that | had stumbled upon a 
broad-faced potoroo, despite the little chaps having been 
extinct for nearly a decade now! 


After several chuffed minutes spent simply marveling the 
lad, | said my farewells, and pressed forward further into 
the forest, where | came upon a small pack of bluebucks, 
grazing in the grass. Naturally, | was astonished! Twice 
now, | had come across some kind of fauna that by no 
means had any right being here. It was like an 
imagination playground, roamed upon by the dead 
themselves! 


My continued exploration of these enchanted caverns 
has brought to fruition several fascinating discoveries. At 
first | had thought little of the flora, though upon several 
further encounters with the walking dead that roam these 
woods, | investigated the plant life more carefully. 


Silphium, stringtrees, Saint Helena heliotrope, all of 
which have long since died out decor this place in 
excess. | believe | may have stumbled upon something 
sacred. 


Signing off now, I'm going to try and find a mammoth! 
04/14/84 


| encountered the guardian of these woods today. I've 
decided to call him Bertram. 


Several kilometers from the entrance of the forest is a 
rather large open plain of sorts. If | had to describe it, I'd 
say it was very grassy, lots of green. It was here that | 
found Bertram. He was dutifully watching over his 
helpers as they tended to a flock of labrador ducks. 


Oh! The helpers, right yes of course. It would appear that 
Bertram employs the help of several golems to care for 
the inhabitants of his forest. I've sat with these helpers 
for several hours now, studying them, though they don't 
seem to pay me much mind. On several occasions, | 
noticed that they would grind their stones together to 
make a scratching noise. As knackered as this may have 
left me initially, | believe they were simply trying to keep 
me away from the animals of the grove, protecting them 
in their own sort of way. Even then, they've acted awfully 
gobby for my taste. 


| attempted to pick up one of the helpers while it was 
caring for a martinique giant ameiva, though | don't think 
that Bertram took very kindly to my actions. The helper 
went inert in my hands. | figure perhaps having a good ol 
rowdy with the lad would do good to square away my 
intentions. | can only hope that Bertram understands | 
mean no harm to this place. 


I've yet to find a mammoth. 


04/17/84 


I've spent several days now within this spellbinding 
grotto, but alas | feel as if it has come my time to move 
on. I've spent countless hours marveling as the helpers 
tend to the occupants of these woods, and many more 
marveling at the murals that cover Bertram. 


It is with the utmost sorrow that | bid this otherworldly 
forest adieu, though | fear that | am needed elsewhere. | 
intend to return to London once I'm done here, treat 
myself to some Yorkshire pudding, and then travel to 
Brazil in my continued search for the great golden 
peccary of Santana do lpanema. 


Though | never did find the treasure that | had initially 
sought after, | truly believe that | have come across 
something far more valuable. These woods themselves 
are a true treasure trove, one that | can only hope that 
the adventurers of tomorrow will have the pleasure of 
discovering on their own. 


| am going to leave this journal here, with Bertram, so 
that explorers of the future may lean upon my findings for 
support, and come to a further understanding of what 
makes this land before time complete. 


| never did find a mammoth. 


Footnotes 

1. The scene depicting organisms from the Permian period covers 
the largest surface area on SCP-3292-2. 

2. To date, 131 recorded instances of SCP-3292-3 have been 
witnessed escorting SCP-3292-4. However, only 9 instances have 
been witnessed entering and exiting the entrance located in the 
Forest. It is currently unknown how SCP-3292-3 transport 
themselves or SCP-3292-4. 

3. SCP-3292-4 are limited to species that have gone extinct 
succeeding the creation of SCP-3292-2. 

4. Dodo bird. 


SCP-3293: You Can't Go Home 


Item #: SCP-3293 
Object Class: Keter Neutralized 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3293 is kept in a Standard 
Humanoid Containment Cell. Due to a history of non-compliance 
and the nature of its anomaly, SCP-3293 has not been given any 
standard amenities. SCP-3293 is to be kept under constant 
surveillance, and a search of the containment unit must be 
conducted daily. Approved researchers are encouraged to visit 
SCP-3293 to enforce compliance and maintain a high morale. 


Any discovered instances of SCP-3293-A must be confiscated and 
reported to Dr. Iles. Previous instances of SCP-3293-A can be found 
in Room 502 in Anomalous Items Wing E. Any personnel who intend 
to conduct research on SCP-3293-A instances must obtain 
permission from Dr. lles. 


Current containment procedures are under review and may be 
subject to change after approval from the Ethics Committee. 


Updated Containment Procedures: SCP-3293 has been 
neutralized. See Addendum 3293.4 for details. The original Wells 
household in Columbus, Ohio is to remain under constant 
surveillance. 


Description: SCP-3293 was a six year old Caucasian human male, 
formerly Cooper Wells of Columbus, Ohio, USA. SCP-3293's 
anomalous effects manifested in its ability to create complex and 
inexplicable machinery and technology out of mundane objects, 
seemingly at will. 


SCP-3293 was categorized as a Class II reality altering entity, with 
the scope of its abilities being limited to its direct surroundings’. 
SCP-3293 did not appear to be aware of the anomalous nature of its 


abilities, nor its origins; SCP-3293 had a limited grasp of actual 
scientific and technological constructs and did not perceive its 
abilities as anomalous. Instead, SCP-3293's imaginative jargon for 
various objects and their purposes appeared to manifest into 
actuality, allowing SCP-3293 to create devices that functioned per 
their design despite their construction. 


SCP-3293 was prone to containment breaches, as it was capable of 
easily creating technology allowing it to teleport vast distances with 
little resources. However, due to SCP-3293's tendency to always 
attempt to return to the home of its parents, it was easily re- 
contained in nearly every instance. For additional information, see 
Addendum 3293.3. 


Addendum 3293.1: Discovery 


SCP-3293 was discovered when embedded Foundation agents 
within the Ohio State University faculty reported unusual and 
inexplicably high levels of radiation centered on a small Columbus 
suburb. This, coupled with an unexplained energy feedback from 
one specific home, allowed agents to quickly find and apprehend 
SCP-32932. 


Addendum 3293.2: Interview 


Note: The following interview was conducted shortly after initial 
containment, before permanent containment procedures were 
developed. During this interview, SCP-3293 was under the 
impression that it was at a children's day-care facility. 


[BEGIN LOG] 
Dr. Iles: Hey buddy, how are you? 
SCP-3293: Look Ms. Lady. | made a TV. 


SCP-3293 produces a dry-erase board propped up with 
a piece of cardboard, to which are taped several short 
pieces of red yarn attached to a Foundation-supplied 
toothbrush. When SCP-3293 manipulates the 
toothbrush, the device functions like a television. Device 


is later collected for study. 


Dr. Iles: Wow Cooper, that's so cool! How did you make 
it? 


SCP-3293: | take the- the wire here, and connected it to 
the, uh, well not the long wire but the short wire cause | 
didn't have any long wire, but | connected it to the 
mokey-trol$ and turned it on. 


Dr. Iles: That's so good buddy. What are you watching 
today? 


SCP-3293: |, uh, I'm watching Gumball. 


Dr. Iles: | see, cool. So Cooper, can you tell me about 
the thing you made the other day? 


SCP-3293: (/aughs) The banana just splatted on the 
ground! 


Dr. Illes: | see that, yeah. But hey, what about the thing 
you made the other day, huh? What does it do? 


SCP-3293: Oh, that's a cookie-bringer‘4. | thought, 
"maybe | just want a cookie", so | made a cookie-looker 
and plugged it into a thing-bringer and made a cookie- 
bringer. But, but then when, uh, when the Mr. Guy came, 
he took the cookie-bringer away.