Depth of Recovery: 101 meters 
Description: A cookbook describing the 
proper preparation and cooking of words and 
phrases in a wide variety of meals. Details 
include precooking blanching techniques for 
‘crispy’ prepositions, recipes for suffixes 
(described as a ‘fun' treat for children), anda 
modified adjectival meal sufficient to feed 
eight. The last chapter of the book is devoted 
exclusively to what is described as 'gourmet 
words' (e.g. ‘inhospitable’, ‘tertiary’, ‘periphery’, 
etc...). 


+Literary Criticism 


Title: Grote Werken en Human Leugen (trans: 
Great Work in Human Fiction) 

Author: Gregori Beauchamp 

Language: Dutch 

Depth of Recovery: 8,884 m 

Description: An encyclopedic analysis of what 
the author describes as ‘the most important’ 
works in fiction. Entries include: Winnie the 
Pooh, Beowulf, the lyrics of John Lennon, 
World War 1, Jimmy Carter, Atlantis, and the 
work of Isaac Newton. In addition, the author 
devotes a section of the book detailing certain 
revealed truths hidden within these ‘great 
fictions’. Such revelations include: that Nazi 
Germany did not win WW2 as is commonly 
believed, that Polio is a disease and not an 
imbalance of humors as is currently thought, 


and that the Moon landing in 1969 was in fact 
a hoax perpetrated on a sound-stage located 
on the surface of the Moon. 


Title: Ahnung Ishskwaday: symbolism of the 
flame in the poetry of Running Bird 
Soosaaw'kway 

Author: Dr. Running Bird Soosaaw'kway 
Language: English, Ojibwe 

Depth of recovery: 1,242m 

Description: The book begins with analysis 
and praise of the author's own poetry. The 
short literary critique ends abruptly after 
several pages and is followed by hundreds of 
seemingly random illustrations. They range 
from detailed sketches of indigenous artifacts 
to unintelligible graphs. At the conclusion of 
the book, there is a diagram labeled 
"Chinoodin Niboowin" ("Big Death Wind"). It 
depicts a series of dots that resemble the 
Orion constellation. The left-most star on 
Orion's belt is circled. 


+Mathematics 


Title: Principia Mathematica II 

Author: Ludwig Wittgenstein (Text), Salavdor 
Dali (Illustrations) 

Language: English, middle circa 1250 CE 
Depth of Recovery: 16,357 

Description: A 1200-page ‘sequel’ to the 3- 
Volume Principia Mathematica written by 
Alfred North Whitehead and Bertrand Russell 
published in the early 20th Century. The work 
is an attempt to extend the logical system of 
the original into a theory of "surrealist 
mathematics" wherein arithmetic can be 
applied to various heterogeneous objects (134 
pages are devoted to the proposition that "a 
Yardstick is neither a yard long, nor is it -not- a 


yard long"). 


Title: A game-theoretic analysis of n- 
dimensional hyperchess and the effect of en- 
passant rules 

Author: Paul Spenceton 

Language: English, modern 

Depth of Recovery: 574m 

Description: A generalized analysis of 
multidimensional chess, proving that Black has 
a winning strategy involving en passant when 
the number of dimensions n (n>1) is given by 
the formula $n_x = \sum_{r=0}4{x} (r42 - r+ 1), 
\; x \in \mathbb{N}$ (which includes the case 
where n=2, i.e. conventional chess). The book 
does not go so far as to provide the winning 
strategy, instead only demonstrating that one 
must exist (i.e. a pure existence proof). 


+Philosophy 


Title: De Existentia Divinum Deos 

Author: Erasmus Rutler 

Language: Latin, Renaissance 

Depth of recovery: 809,542m 

Description: A rigorous 2,119-page 
ontological proof of the existence of God, 
embedded in the formalism of Number Theory 
and Set Theory. Assumes the truth of the 
Riemann hypothesis and the falsity of The 
Continuum hypothesis (both currently 
undecided). It follows from God's existence 
that: He would be omniscient; that there is no 
more powerful being than God; that God 
cannot act contrary to His own will; and that 
God and the Devil are disjoint 'sets'. Note: no 
errors in reasoning have yet been discovered 
by Foundation mathematicians. 


Footnotes 
1. SCP-1986's discovery was occasioned by a librarian trying to 


identify the source of a draft. Measurements indicate that the tunnel 
consumes roughly 400m3/h (i.e. a pressure differential of 25Pa (N/ 
m2) and a draft velocity of 10cm/s). Where the air is being drawn to 
is unknown. 

2. One researcher has put forth the evocative comparison that 
searching the tunnel for a recognizable book is like traversing the 
real number line in search of the rational numbers. 

3. The 3-torus is a three-dimensional compact manifold with no 
boundary. It can be obtained by gluing the three pairs of opposite 
faces of a cube. (After gluing the first pair of opposite faces the cube 
looks like a thick washer, after gluing the second pair — the flat 
faces of the washer — it looks like a hollow torus, the last gluing — 
the inner surface of the hollow torus to the outer surface — is 
physically impossible in three-dimensional space and can only be 
accomplished in at least four dimensions.) 

4. Before the librarian who discovered the artifact was (voluntarily) 
administered an amnestic, he brought to the attention of Foundation 
personnel a story by the Argentine writer Jorge Luis Borges entitled 
"The Library of Babel". It is noteworthy that Borges worked at the 
same library. He was unable to be interviewed as he died in 1986. 
The following is an excerpt from that story:... These examples made 
it possible for a librarian of genius to discover the fundamental law of 
the Library. This thinker observed that all the books, no matter how 
diverse they might be, are made up of the same elements: the 
space, the period, the comma, the twenty-two letters of the alphabet. 
He also alleged a fact which travelers have confirmed: In the vast 
Library there are no two identical books. From these two 
incontrovertible premises he deduced that the Library is total and 
that its shelves register all the possible combinations of the twenty- 
odd orthographical symbols (a number which, though extremely 
vast, is not infinite): Everything: the minutely detailed history of the 
future, the archangels’ autobiographies, the faithful catalogues of the 
Library, thousands and thousands of false catalogues, the 
demonstration of the fallacy of those catalogues, the demonstration 
of the fallacy of the true catalogue, the Gnostic gospel of Basilides, 
the commentary on that gospel, the commentary on the commentary 
on that gospel, the true story of your death, the translation of every 
book in all languages, the interpolations of every book in all 
books..." 


« SCP-1985 | SCP-1986 | SCP-1987 » 


SCP-1987: The Valthing 


Item #: SCP-1987 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1987 is to remain 
contained jn situ within the area claimed as its territory, designated 
Site 732. SCP-1987 is currently a willing partner in its containment, 
in accordance with the treaty between SCP-1987 and Hans 
Majestets Norsk Forening for Spesiell Oppdemming Proseayrer (His 
Majesty's Norwegian Association for Special Containment 
Procedures) established during the Valthing of / /18 , as ratified by 
the Foundation on / /19 and mostrecently amendedon / /20 . 
Any proposed non-emergency alterations to the following 
containment procedures are to be submitted to SCP-1987 during the 
next session of the Valthing for discussion and approval. In the 
event that SCP-1987 terminates its cooperation, fails to uphold its 
treaty obligations, or negotiations become untenable, unilateral 
alteration of containment procedures is authorized subject to O5 
approval. 


A fence with barbed wire is to be erected around the perimeter of 
Site 732 to prevent unauthorized access and is to be monitored by 
ground personnel, security cameras, or unmanned aerial vehicles as 
necessary. One gate, with an attached guardhouse staffed by 
Foundation security personnel at all times and by a representative 
from SCP-1987 while active, is to be maintained at the eastern end 
of Site 732 along the site of the former road leading through the 
area. Unauthorized civilians entering Site 732 during daylight hours 
may be apprehended and escorted out of the area by Foundation 
security services. When SCP-1987 is active, SCP-1987 is 
responsible for apprehending trespassers and returning them, alive 
if possible, to the main gate, where they are to undergo medical 
treatment and Class-A amnestic therapy prior to release. The 
Foundation shall liaise with Avinor to prevent civilian air traffic from 


overflying Site 732. 


Any authorized Foundation personnel may enter Site 732 during 
daylight hours for security purposes or to conduct non-invasive 
geological/archaeological study of the area. Any research that 
involves excavation of mounds or disturbance of buried human 
remains is prohibited. All personnel engaged in archaeological 
research on Site 732 are to enter the facility no earlier than thirty 
minutes after dawn and depart no later than thirty minutes before 
dusk, and are excluded from entering Site 732 while SCP-1987 is 
active. No personnel are to enter Site 732 while SCP-1987 is active 
without first presenting themselves for approval during a meeting of 
the Valthing. Each session of the Valthing is to be attended by at 
least one Level 4 agent fluent in Old Norse and possessing a 
working knowledge of traditional Norse law and etiquette. 


At the time that containment was established by HMNFSOP, the 
existence of SCP-1987 was widely known to civilians living in the 
neighboring towns of H ,L ,M ,O ,andS 

The Foundation-SCP-1987 treaty prohibits the mass use of 
amnestics against the civilian population of those towns; targeted 
dispersal of Class-B and Class-E amnestics is authorized to prevent 
information leaks. Information Management Procedure 608-B shall 
be enforced to prevent civilian knowledge of SCP-1987 from being 
transmitted beyond the area of those towns and neighboring 
agricultural areas. The Foundation shall maintain liaisons within 
local and regional governments and law enforcement agencies for 
the purpose of maintaining stable relations with SCP-1987. 


The Foundation shall screen and approve owners and employees of 
civilian businesses within the treaty area for the purpose of engaging 
in the selling of approved goods to SCP-1987. All deliveries of 
goods shall be scheduled and overseen by the Foundation; the 
Foundation shall collect all gold coinage provided as payment and 
exchange it for Norwegian kroner at the current market rate, and 
shall conduct directly all purchases of approved goods not available 
within the treaty area. Consult Document 1987-32-M for a full list of 
approved goods. 


Description: SCP-1987 is a phenomenon affecting several hundred 
skeletal human remains buried in and underneath several dozen 


pre-Christian burial mounds, located in a rural area of [REDACTED] 
District, Norway. Forensic analysis of artifacts recovered from the 
mound complex, designated Site 732, indicate that an unknown 
number of humans were buried at the site over a period of several 
centuries from approx. 400-900 CE. Examination of remains 
unearthed prior to the ban on excavation, and ultrasound 
examinations of the mounds conducted since, indicate that the 
remains are largely intact and undamaged in spite of their age, and 
that both males and females of varying ages were buried at the site. 


SCP-1987 is inactive during daylight hours. During a period each 
night beginning within approximately 15-20 minutes of sunset, 
SCP-1987 becomes active, whereupon a thin layer of fog can be 
seen to exude from the burial mounds and approximately __ living 
human beings will manifest therefrom. Physical examination of 
SCP-1987 individuals indicates no discernible differences between 
the specimens and non-anomalous human beings; all specimens 
appear to be in good health for their apparent age and display no 
apparent scars, signs of injury, or symptoms of communicable or 
congenital illnesses. SCP-1987 individuals persist until 
approximately 15-20 minutes prior to sunrise the following day, 
whereupon the specimens will briefly become transparent before 
being observed to evaporate into a fog similar to that observed at 
sunset and gradually dissipate. Specimens that are injured or killed 
prior to sunrise will demanifest as usual and remanifest alive and 
unharmed the following evening. A census conducted by HUNFSOP 
in 18 identified individual members of SCP-1987, 87% of whom 
were male, all appearing to be of Nordic ethnicity, with a range of 
self-attributed ages from 13 to 89; current observations of SCP-1987 
are consistent with these findings. 


SCP-1987 specimens speak several dialects of Proto-Norse and Old 
Norse, and identify themselves as adherents of several varieties of 
Norse polytheism. All specimens manifest fully clothed in handmade 
garments or armor believed to be typical of pre-Christian Norse 
culture, and many of them manifest carrying or wearing swords, 
axes, spears, or other weapons. In interviews with Foundation 
personnel, specimens identify themselves as having been born in 
various areas throughout Scandinavia and northern Europe, and 
claim to have been warriors who died in battle with a rival clan, 


invading force, or civilians defending themselves against a raid the 
individual was participating in. Specimens state an awareness that 
they are dead and a belief that their current status is a reward from 
the gods for their bravery in life, but claim no knowledge or 
understanding of what happens to them when they demanifest at 
sunrise or the cause of the phenomenon. 


SCP-1987 specimens have been observed spending the majority of 
their active phase engaged in recreational activities, including the 
preparation and consumption of roasted meats, consumption of 
alcoholic beverages, mock battles, recitation of songs and poems 
relating to gods and legendary heroes, sexual activity, and a team 
sport resembling medieval football. Religious rites, including animal 
sacrifices and shamanic rituals, have been observed on solstice and 
equinox days and on other days identified by SCP-1987 as 
significant. SCP-1987 has historically engaged in trade with towns 
neighboring Site 732, offering gold coins acquired from an unknown 
source in exchange for goods used in religious rites and recreation. 
Limited trade has been allowed to continue under the terms of the 
Foundation-SCP-1987 treaty; since the Foundation assumed control 
of trade, approximately [REDACTED] kg of gold coinage has been 
collected by the Foundation. 


Approximately once per month, on nights when the full moon is 
visible, (or on the following night if the full moon falls on one of the 
above-mentioned holidays), all SCP-1987 specimens will gather at 
the base of the largest mound and conduct a meeting it refers to as 
the Valthing (Old Norse: assembly of the dead), a legislative 
assembly based on traditional Norse law. The Valthing hears 
grievances brought by SCP-1987 individuals, which are resolved on 
the basis of a code of law recited from memory by the oldest 
member of the assembly and/or by a vote of all individuals present, 
and is additionally responsible for negotiating treaty terms with the 
Foundation and trade contracts with civilian businesses. The 
Valthing has been observed to order various forms of punishment 
against members of SCP-1987 for violating its laws, including 
indentureship to another individual for a given period of time, 
beatings, or one or more consecutive death sentences to be served 
successively over a series of nights.