LAN privileges were initially granted on a probationary basis, but 
following a significant increase in SCP object compliance, the 
schedule has been extended indefinitely. 


Interview 2360-A Excerpt 


Interviewer: Tell me how you received these 
augmentations. 


SCP-2360-A: What, like, from the beginning? 
Interviewer: That would be preferable, yes. 
SCP-2360-C: We got invited to this youth program. 
SCP-2360-A: Yeah, Wallace brought us over. 


SCP-2360-C: At first we came for the free food, but after 
a few weeks, the church father's message spoke to us. 


SCP-2360-A: We realized we were broken. 
SCP-2360-B: Broken, and only God could heal us. 


Interviewer: God? 


SCP-2360-A: You've never heard of God? 
Interviewer: I'm asking which deity you're referring to. 
SCP-2360-C: ...God, man. 

SCP-2360-B: He who has broken himself in our image. 


Interviewer: You're referring to The Church of the 
Broken God. 


SCP-2360-A: That's a name for it, yeah. 


SCP-2360-C: The father said his house was 
nondenominational, but it respected innovationist and 
integrationist doctrines. 


SCP-2360-A: Really focused on the present. 
Interviewer: Innovationist and integrationist? 


SCP-2360-A: Innovationism, it's like... God's in us. He's 
in you, too. So when we innovate, when we create new 
technology... 


SCP-2360-C: That's making a piece of him, bro. 


SCP-2360-A: That's bringing us closer. Hey, you an 
engineer? 


Interviewer: And what does "integrationist" mean? 


SCP-2360-C: Well, we've got to get as close to God as 
possible. 


SCP-2360-A: And if new technology is part of God... 


SCP-2360-B: That's how we can dedicate our bodies to 
him. 


Interviewer: And is that why you've been modified like 
that? 


SCP-2360-A: The father was like, "The time when you 
feel most at one with the machine, that's what you want 
to make a part of you." 


SCP-2360-C: And the four of us knew, it was when we 
played COD. 


SCP-2360-A: So here we are. 

Interviewer: The four of you? 

SCP-2360-C: Yeah, Wallace had it done, too. 

SCP-2360-A: But 360s have, like... a 25% failure rate. 

SCP-2360-B: He didn't talk to us much after that. 
Interview Log 2360-B Excerpt 


Interviewer: Why do you play this game constantly? 
[The interviewer points to one of SCP-2360's game 
discs, stored in a jewel case.] 


SCP-2360-C: It's how we're gonna transcend. 
SCP-2360-A: Like... meditation. Except epic. 
SCP-2360-C: Every point we score, we get closer. 


SCP-2360-A: Every match we win, that's a step away 
from meatspace. 


SCP-2360-C: We are the most pro that there has ever 
been. 


SCP-2360-A: The aimbot is— 
SCP-2360-C: —within us. 
SCP-2360-B: And we will reach heaven with no-scopes. 


SCP-2360-C: Except... 


Interviewer: Except? 
SCP-2360-C: We can't do it playing against each other. 


SCP-2360-B: We have to frag those who aren't in the 
clan. 


SCP-2360-C: Otherwise it's just practice. 
SCP-2360-A: It's lame. 

SCP-2360-B: There is no God in lame. 
SCP-2360-B: Should | tell them? 
SCP-2360-A: Don't, Kamal. 


Interviewer: I'm afraid we can't provide the agreed 
incentives if you withhold information from us. 


SCP-2360-A: Alright, alright. Go for it. 


SCP-2360-B: A couple months ago, some alarms started 
blaring, right? And we all saw this blinding red light, and 
when we turned our eyes back on, the doors and ceilings 
of our cells were halfway melted off. It smelled like maple 
syrup and ass. And Hunter, he says— 


SCP-2360-C: Well, I've tried to watch my language since 
| started becoming whole, but | said... "Shit, see if you 
can get on Live!" 


SCP-2360-B: All the guards were running after it, yelling 
"Someone turn off the main generator before the... the 
F-er finds it!" 


SCP-2360-A: So we managed to connect to the servers 
for a little team deathmatch. 


SCP-2360-C: But the servers were— 


SCP-2360-B: Barren. 


SCP-2360-A: We found someone and asked whether a 
new COD was out since we last connected. 


SCP-2360-C: He said there had been, like, six. 


SCP-2360-A: We looked for the bros we usually played 
with, but they were in different games. 


SCP-2360-C: And then the guy we had been talking to 
DC'd. 


SCP-2360-B: We didn't have time to change servers, so 
we just sort of... ran around the map while you carted us 
into our new cells. 


SCP-2360-A: Until the signal went out. 
Interviewer: Is that all? 
SCP-2360-A: What do you mean? 


Interviewer: Did you perform any other actions while 
connected to online services? Did you communicate with 
outside individuals about any subject other than Call of 
Duty? 


SCP-2360-C: Nope. 
SCP-2360-B: | didn't. 


SCP-2360-A: Neither did |. We were too busy trying to 
play. 


Interviewer: Noted. This will be verified, and if it's true, 
we may show leniency on you for your honesty and 
relative lack of activity during the breach. 


SCP-2360-C: Thanks, man. Can | just ask you one more 
thing? 


Interviewer: You may. 


SCP-2360-C: Is the new Xbox out? 
SCP-2360-A: The 720. 
SCP-2360-C: Or the 360 2, or— 


SCP-2360-B: The one after the one inside us, is what 
they're asking about. 


Interviewer: I'm afraid | can't divulge that information 
until I've cleared it with a supervisor. 


SCP-2360-C: That's— 
SCP-2360-A: Fine. 
SCP-2360-C: Totally fine. 
[END OF LOG] 


Footnotes 
1. Possible methods include X-ray or ultrasound imaging. MRI is not 
feasible, for obvious reasons. 


« SCP-2359 | SCP-2360 | SCP-2361 » 


esophagus as usual, but instead arcs up and out the nostrils, re- 
enters the bottle, and loops back around through the secondary 
opening, forming an infinite loop of wine. Since the wine never 
enters the throat, it is possible to breathe while drinking. D-3489 
described process as “Uncomfortable-ay, ut-bay ot-nay as-ay ad- 
bay as-ay ou’d-yay ink-thay.” 


Money entered: 5000 yen 

SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered 

Item description: Gummi Wormhole - An inflated black balloon with 
no discernable point of inflation. Balloon was covered with cartoons 
depicting smiling worms traveling through portals in space. When 
popped, the balloon collapsed in on itself, opening a circular portal 
roughly 50 cm in diameter from which appeared a gummi worm 
approximately 150 cm long and 30 cm thick. Worm was sentient and 
extremely hostile, and had to be dispatched by security. Remains 
were non-anomalous, but revealed an intricate network of organs 
composed entirely of candy. 


Money entered: 10000 yen 

SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered 

Item description: <Unknown> - Cubical stainless steel box, 10 cm 
on each side, with a keyhole on one side and a key attached to the 
box via a chain. The top of the box had picture of a bull’s head on it. 
Testing was moved to an isolated chamber. When the key was 
turned and the box opened, a 9 cm chocolate minotaur walked out 
and then rapidly grew to over 9 meters in height before declaring “I 
am the minotaur!” Minotaur proceeded to bludgeon D-3489 into 
unconsciousness. Security fired on it, with the bullets deflecting 
harmlessly off its body. It collapsed, however, after one of the 
guards made a small cut on its arm. Remains were non-anomalous, 
weighed 754 kg and were composed entirely of milk chocolate. 


Money Entered: 700 yen 

SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Unpowered 

Item Description: "Retroactibites" — Brightly colored foil bag 
containing 12 jawbreakers in the shape of clocks. Appeared to 
vanish upon contact with subject's tongue. Subject's memory of the 
past six hours was altered to consist of his receiving the candy and 


SCP-2361: Recurring Board Position 


Item #: SCP-2361 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: Due to its nature, it is currently 
infeasible to detect all manifestations of SCP-2361. Worldwide 
medical records shall be monitored for fatalities consistent with 
SCP-2361's effects. Medical personnel directly witnessing the 
effects must be administered Class-C amnestics; the victim's death 
should be explained as the result of a stroke. When necessary, X- 
rays and other documentation are to be explained as hoaxes. 


Any known civilian contact with SCP-2361-1 must be recorded and 
archived. Foundation contact with SCP-2361-1 must be supervised 
by at least two level 4 personnel. 


Description: SCP-2361 is a recurring position in the game of Gol. 
Instances have been observed to manifest in multiple ways: 


¢ Arising naturally during a game. When questioned, players 
believe they are choosing moves of their own free will. 


¢ Spontaneous manifestation on unattended Go boards. 


¢ Appearance on normally-blank pages of Go-related books, 
with the caption "White to play" in the language of the book. 


SCP-2361 instances created by mundane means will still display 
anomalous effects, and are only to be created during approved 
experimentation. 


In the event that a player places a white stone at position , (or 
circles it, in the case of printed instances), the subject's brain will 
begin to display unusual electrical activity, usually focused in the 
parietal lobe. This activity does not interfere with normal brain 


functions, and typically passes unnoticed within 24 hours. However, 
four recorded cases have resulted in fatalities from symptoms 
superficially resembling a stroke. Autopsies revealed that several 
irregularly-shaped sections of the brain had been removed by 
unknown means. 


The Foundation has contacted several professional Go players to 
analyze SCP-2361. These players typically indicate several 
possibilities for a next move, but invariably note , as being one of 
the strongest candidates. 


Addendum 2361-A-1: 


On 11/23/20 , researcher Alice R conducted an experiment to 
determine how SCP-2361 identifies the player. A remotely-operated 
mechanism was constructed to place astone at , ,and was 
activated simultaneously by two D-Class personnel. 


Three seconds after activation, a new board position materialized. 
Foundation cryptographers determined the new position to be a 
simple trinary encoding of English letters, representing the message 
"Please do not interfere with our research". Researcher R 
proceeded to conduct an interview by rearranging stones using the 
same encoding. The responding entity has been designated 
SCP-2361-1. 


Interview Transcript 2361-I-1 
Interviewed: SCP-2361-1 
Interviewer: Researcher Alice R 


Foreword: Interview was conducted in code 
by rearranging Go stones. Punctuation and 
capitalization have been added for clarity. 


<Begin Log> 
R — _: Can you understand this? 


SCP-2361-1: Yes. 


R  :MynameisAliceR — .1| would like to 
ask a few questions. May | ask who |am 
speaking to? 


SCP-2361-1: We do not use names in our 
coherence network. You may call me anything 
you wish. 


R__: Very well, may | call you dash one?2 
SCP-2361-1: That is acceptable. 


R___: Dash one, can you explain what you 
are? 


SCP-2361-1: | am an analysis subsystem 
responsible for identifying spatial beings for 
integration purposes. It is difficult to explain 
further; your language lacks many relevant 
concepts. [Researcher's note: The length of 
this message extended off the edge of the 
board; pieces fell onto the table after 
materializing. It is unknown whether 
SCP-2361-1 was aware of this.] 


R_ :By "subsystem", do you mean you are 
an artificial life form? 


SCP-2361-1: No. | was not created; | was 
integrated into a more complex subsystem for 
this purpose. 


R_ : Are you responsible for these? /R 
reproduces SCP-2361 to the side of the board] 


SCP-2361-1: Yes. 
R —_: What are they for? 


SCP-2361-1: We have difficulty thinking about 
space. Our supersystem has no analogous 
feature. Our knowledge-systems have 


explained it in abstract terms, but we cannot 
grasp it intuitively. 


A teaching-system integrated the game you 
call Go with all subsystems coherent to our 
network. The game was meant to teach 
position, movement, shape. It did not work. 
The ideas are too bizarre; we are cohered to 
few subsystems that are capable of 
understanding the rules. We integrated the 
game with many other supersystems to find 
beings capable of spatial intuition. 


R_~_: What happens to people who place a 
stoneat , ? 


SCP-2361-1: We attempt to identify their 
spatial reasoning subsystems, and if possible, 
cohere them with our supersystem for 
analysis. 


R_—_: Why not just discuss the matter with 
them, like we're doing now? 


SCP-2361-1: We attempted this. Linguistic 
communication was insufficient to induce 
understanding. Your ideas are too alien. Direct 
integration of knowledge is required. 


R__ _: Those "spatial reasoning subsystems" 
are parts of our brains, and we need them to 
function correctly. Can you study the 
subsystems without removing them? 


SCP-2361-1: Coherence is necessary for 
detailed study. If necessary, you can cohere 
yourselves with other versions. 


R : | don't understand. Other versions? 


SCP-2361-1: We cannot recohere your spatial 


subsystems, so you will need to cohere with 
other compatible versions. 


R_— _: I'm afraid we don't have any other 
compatible versions. 


SCP-2361-1: "Have"? Please wait a moment. | 
must integrate with new linguistic subsystems. 


[2 minute pause] 


SCP-2361-1: This is related to your idea of 
distance? You cannot cohere with them 
because they are too far away? 


R__ :As far as we know, they don't exist at 
all. 


SCP-2361-1: "Exist"? This is not related to 
space? 


R__ : No, not exactly. It's more like they are 
missing. Are you saying that in your universe, 
all things that could exist do exist? 


SCP-2361-1: We do not use this distinction 
between "exist" and "missing", but | believe 
you understand correctly. 


R___: Doesn't that mean there are 
subsystems that already understand space 
and geometry? 


SCP-2361-1: Yes. That is true. 
R ~~: Why don't you talk to them? 


SCP-2361-1: We do not know which ones they 
are. 


<End Log> 


Footnotes 

1. A board game played by placing black and white stones on a grid. 
Also known as Igo, Wei-Qi, or Baduk. 

2. Encoding did not allow numerals. 


« SCP-2360 | SCP-2361 | SCP-2362 » 


SCP-2362: Not a Planet 


Item #: SCP-2362 
Object Class: Keter 


Special Containment Procedures: Public knowledge of SCP-2362 
in its current state is to be suppressed by any means necessary. 
Interception and suppression of astronomical data indicating the 
current state of SCP-2362, the organic composition of SCP-2362, or 
the existence of SCP-2362-1 is conducted by Mobile Task Force 
Omicron-12 (“Planet Killers”). MTF Omicron-12 is also tasked with 
fabricating astronomical data in order to decrease public interest in 
SCP-2362. 


In the event that the current state of SCP-2362 becomes apparent to 
the public through some lapse in Foundation security, MTF 
Omicron-12 will disseminate fabricated data indicating that 
SCP-2362 was reduced to its current state during a collision with a 
Kuiper Belt object of comparable size (situational contingency 
protocol 2362-A). 


In the event that the existence of SCP-2362-1 becomes apparent to 
the public, MTF Omicron-12 will disseminate fabricated data 
indicating that SCP-2362-1 is merely a Kuiper Belt object following 
an escape orbit resulting from gravitational interaction with 
neighboring objects (situational contingency protocol 2362-B). 


Should SCP-2362-1 reach a great enough distance to render it 
undetectable by civilian and government equipment, MTF 
Omicron-12 will disseminate partially accurate data indicating the 
current state of SCP-2362 along with fabricated data indicating that 
SCP-2362 was reduced to its current state during a collision with a 
Kuiper Belt object of comparable size (situational contingency 
protocol 2362-C). 


Any civilian or government probes sent to investigate SCP-2362 or 


SCP-2362-1 must be intercepted.