“Don’t worry, | didn’t call you here to point fingers. | know exactly 
who’s responsible. | called you here because | have known for some 
time now that the Freewheelers were no longer adequate for 
protecting our Family, and so | set to work on developing 
replacements for them. Now seems as a good a time for their debut 
as ever, so without further adieu, | give you the Penny Farthings!” 


The curtains to the Ringmaster’s tent flew open and out rode a 
procession of two dozen penny farthing bicycles, mounted by 
ghastly creatures. Each rider looked like a human circulatory system 
made from twisted, rusted wires. Their arms were long enough to 
touch the ground, and their gangly necks were too weak to support 
their heads upright so instead they just drooped. 


The crowd murmured in fear and shock as the Penny Farthings 
formed a perimeter around them, fencing them in. 


“We can all sleep a little easier now knowing that we have the Penny 
Farthings to protect us from enemies from without, and within.” 


He pulled open the curtain behind him, revealing the Man with the 
Upside-Down Face hanging upside down by his ankles, his arms 
bound and his mouth gagged. 


“Who’s strung up now?” he asked him with a smugly satisfied grin. 


“Manny!” Yume screamed in horror, the flowers of her hair instantly 
wilting. “Herman, let him go!” 


“Speak out of turn again child and I'll throw you to the Clowns!” 
Herman threatened. Yume immediately hushed. She glanced over 
to the Clowns, expecting them to be licking their chops, but instead 
they looked just as uncertain and horrified as everyone else. 
Herman turned back to Manny and smiled. 


“Well old friend, | can’t tell you how much pleasure it gives me to 
finally see your face the right way up after all these years. Oh, we’ve 
had our good times, it’s true, but what you’ve done is quite 
unforgivable, and what sort of leader would | be to let such a 
senseless and wanton crime go unpunished?” 


“But you can’t kill him!” Yume screamed, tears pooling in her eyes. 


“Oh my dear, sweet Yume. I’m not going to kill him; all of you are,” 
he said with a wicked smile. “I snuck into the cookhouse this 
morning and placed a little bit of Cotton Candy into the oatmeal.” 


“Oh no. Oh no no no no no,” Yume wept, as she and everyone else 
realized what was about to happen. 


“Oh yes. Mr. Brenneman, play Upside-Down Cake!” Herman 
ordered. 


Over on the Cotton Candy kiosk, a disfigured Tom Brenneman 
proudly displayed the paper roll of mesmerizing music for the self- 
playing calliope. No one other than Herman knew for sure what the 
Cotton Candy wrapped around their nervous systems would make 
them do when it heard the song 'Upside-Down Cake’, and Icky had 
no intention of finding out. Acting almost on instinct, she drew out 
her deck of trick cards. All fifty-four cards were engulfed in a red 
aura and went flying towards Tom. Fortunately for him Icky was 
merciful and they did no mortal damage, but the paper roll was 
destroyed beyond any hope of use. 


She immediately called the cards back to her and held them around 
herself in a defensive perimeter as she crouched in preparation for 
the inevitable attack. 


“Icky!” Herman screamed, sounding genuinely shocked. “How could 
you? How could you?” 


“Fuller, there’s no reason this has to go any further. Just let Manny 
go. You know how vital he is. There is no Circus without Manny.” 


“Is that so? In case you’ve forgotten, it’s Herman Fuller’s Circus of 
the Disquieting! | feed you, clothe you, house you, protect you from 
the Essie P and the Geo Sea and the Insurgent Sea and this is how 
you repay me!” 


“You burned Virtuoso alive you son of a bitch!” she spat at him. 
Herman shook his head sadly. 


“It would truly be a shame to lose such a lovely and talented 
performer as yourself, but if that’s how you feel...first Clown to bring 
me her heart is the new Troupe Leader!” 


Herman seemed to expect the Clowns to jump on her like she was 
made out of candy, but not one of them budged. 


“None of you? None of you! After all I've done for you!” 


“You let that bastard Dicksy breed us like animals!” Doctor Tinkles 


yelled. 


“You put us all in danger by trying to steal from Emcee D!” 
Motormouth cried. 


“You left Pius and me to rot in an abandoned hub with a feral Fun- 
lover!” Eugene howled. 


“Well, in my defence, you never finished telling me how you got 
away from there!” Herman countered. “It was a little disappointing, to 
be honest.” 


“We are sick of your bullshit Herman!” Icky declared. “We’re not 
going to let you kill us, or mind control us, or bully us with these 
abominations of yours anymore!” 


The entire Circus cheered in support. 
“I’m giving you one chance Fuller! Let Manny go, or | kill you.” 


Herman glared down at her with utter contempt, and she knew this 
wasn’t going to end peacefully. 


“Penny Farthings, have at them!” he ordered. 


A green fire flared up inside the chest of each Penny Farthing, 
smoke and flame wafting out of every opening. They howled as if in 
maddening pain, and began assaulting the crowd in a wild frenzy. 


“Clowns, take them down! Jam their spokes” Icky shouted, throwing 
her cards at each rusted monstrosity’s enormous front wheel. 
“Freaks, get Manny free! Alfie, unleash the Fun-lovers!” 


All obeyed her orders without fail. The Clowns, so often viewed by 
the Freaks and Carnies as otherworldly monsters, rushed to put 
themselves between the Penny Farthings and the innocent. Though 
they were dealt many blows, they did not cry or bleed, but instead 
only squeaked like chew toys. This clearly both frustrated and 
confused their attackers. The Clowns grabbed whatever was at 
hand and shoved it between the Penny Farthing’s spokes, sending 
them toppling over. This didn’t stop them, however, as they still 
clawed their way along the ground, lashing out at anyone within 


reach of their distended and mangled limbs. 


Seeing that her cards were having minimal effect on the creatures, 
Icky grabbed a sledgehammer. Normally used for driving tent spikes 
into the ground, she put the tool to work smashing the toppled 
cyclists into scrap metal, and the others soon followed her example. 


Motormouth reached down his throat and pulled out his submachine 
gun. He unleashed a hail of bullets upon Fuller, only for him to catch 
them all in his teeth and spit them back at the crowd like he was a 
human Gatling gun. Once he had exhausted his ammo, the Freaks 
stormed the stage, ready to tear him limb from limb. Herman 
whistled, calling one of the Penny Farthings to him. He leapt onto its 
back and rode it into the Den of Freaks. He came out only seconds 
later, wielding a cutlass (one of many swords reserved for 
swallowing, throwing, and for sticking into the human pincushion), 
ready to cull down rebels like he was reaping wheat. Some of the 
Freaks ran after him anyway, while others rushed to help Manny, 
slicing through the bonds with whatever they could find. 


“Manny? Manny are you okay?” Yume asked as she removed the 
gag from his mouth. 


“Fire up the Kaleidoscope, dial up a Door to the Darkness,” he 
replied as he rose to his feet. “He’s getting the slowest death 
possible!” 


Alfie zigged and zagged through the chaos, ducking attacks and 
dodging friendly fire until he reached the Funhouse. Throwing open 
the emergency exit, he shouted “It’s a mutiny! We're taking down 
Fuller!” 


He was grabbed from behind by a Penny Farthing, the metal of its 
hands piercing through his clothes and into his skin. The creature 
hoisted him into the air, its rusted hand poised to rip his heart out of 
his chest, when a familiar noise came from the Funhouse. 


“Wowwee! Wowwee!” Mortimer screamed as he came flying out of 
the exit. He shape-shifted into an enormous pink gorilla in a bow tie 
and tore the rider from its mount. He grabbed it by its arm and 
began beating it against the ground in a rabid orgy of violence. 


“Mortimer, do be careful not to hit anyone, won’t you?” Ripley asked 
as she and Bailey strode out of the Funhouse in their tall, humanoid 
forms. She stuck out her leg and toppled a Penny Farthing as it 
whizzed by. “Since this is a mutiny, should we assume pirate 
forms?” 


“That’s a little predictable, don’t you think?” Bailey asked. The Penny 
Farthing Mortimer had dismounted escaped his grasp and launched 
itself at Bailey. Bailey grabbed its head and crushed it in his hand. 
“Come now Mortimer, you can’t be so careless with your playthings.” 


“da’champ! I’da’champ!” he chanted as he bashed another Penny 
Farthing into pieces. 


“Well, he seems to have these brutes under control. What do you 
suppose we should do?” Bailey asked. 


“| could unleash the Kraken,” Ripley suggested. 
“That’s complete overkill.” 
“You always say that.” 


“Because it’s always true! You clearly just want to unleash the 
Kraken so that you can shout ‘Unleash the Kraken!’. Do you 
honestly think there’s any situation where unleashing the Kraken 
would solve more problems than it would cause?” 


“| don’t know because we've never let it out. Frankly, your 
assumption that it would automatically be a disaster is prejudiced 
against colossal mythical sea creatures. For all you know the Kraken 
could be great at conflict resolution...” 


Their conversation was briefly interrupted due to Ripley being 
decapitated by a passing Herman Fuller. 


“A cutlass? | guess we ended up going with a pirate theme after all,” 
Bailey remarked. “Ripley dear, are you alright?” 


“Quite.” 


Mortimer chased after Herman in a fury, tearing up the ground with 


his fists as he went. Herman granted his Penny Farthing additional 
speed as he tore through the fairgrounds, trying to find Icky in the 
chaos. He thought that if he killed her then maybe, just maybe, he 
could quell this rebellion. Her, Manny, and anyone else who had 
dared to speak out against him. Once they were strung up in the 
Matinee, everyone would know the price for betraying Herman 
Fuller. Who then would choose to defy him if it meant an eternal 
living death? 


There, in the centre of the battle, he saw her. Surrounded by Clowns 
and Freaks alike, they were destroying the last of his Penny 
Farthings. Pushing his mount even harder, Fuller raced towards her. 
So focused was he upon his quarry, that he didn’t see the Man with 
the Upside-Down Face accost him from the side, ramming a tent 
pole through the spokes of his Penny Farthing’s front wheel. 
Herman was thrown through the air in a high arc, his sword still in 
hand, ready to impale whoever got between him and the ground. 


“Eugene, open him wide!” Icky shouted as she grabbed the inside of 
Motormouth’s right cheek. Eugene grabbed the left, and together 
they pulled his mouth open nearly 10 feet. 


Herman flew right down his gullet and into his second stomach. 


“And the crowd goes wild!” Motormouth shouted, raising his arms in 
triumph. Indeed, the crowd burst into victorious cheering at the sight 
of Herman’s defeat. 


“You got him?” Manny asked as he rushed to meet them, having 
successfully destroyed the last Penny Farthing. 


“Manny,” Icky hugged him tightly, with several of the others joining 
in. 


“We'll celebrate later. This isn’t finished yet,” he said. 


“Yeah, this is not a long-term solution,” Motormouth agreed. “Il know 
my stomach can take a lot of punishment, but I’m worried than any 
second he might come bursting out of me like an alien.” 


“The Kaleidoscope is soun up Manny,” Yume said. 


“Where are you sending him?” Icky asked. 
“The Darkness.” 
Icky smiled, and nodded in agreement. 


The four of them ran to the Kaleidoscope, where a Door was already 
waiting. Unlike the usual Doors, which were bright white and smokey 
and filled with calliope music, this one led only to a black abyss. 


“On three,” Manny said. “One, two, three!” 


He and Icky stretched open Motormouth’s piehole and on cue he 
regurgitated Herman Fuller straight into the Darkness between 
Dimensions. As he screamed in rage his top hat fell off his head, 
landing upon the floor. 


“Good Riddance,” Manny said grimly. 


“Get your damn hands off me you Freaks!” Tom shouted as Eugene 
and Pius dragged him towards the Kaleidoscope. 


“What do you want to do with him, Manny?” Eugene asked. Manny 
chuckled and placed a hand on Tom’s shoulder. 


“Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom. You just can’t get ‘a head’, now can 
you? Yeah, toss him in with Fuller.” 


“What? No, wait! Manny, I’m sorry! Please, no! No!” 
With one good toss, he was lost to the Darkness. 


Icky sat herself down on the Kaleidoscope's steps, burying her head 
in her hands, overwhelmed by the enormity of what had just 
happened. 


“Guys, give us a minute to talk, alright?” Manny asked. 


“Sure thing,” Motormouth nodded. As he, Yume and the two Clowns 
gave them some privacy, Manny knelt down and picked up Fuller’s 
top hat. 


“Thank you,” he said, sitting beside her. “For a minute there, | really 
thought | was going to be eaten alive by my own Freaks.” 


“| couldn’t let him do it. Not just because of what | said about this 
Circus needing you either. You’re my oldest friend here. You’re my 
best friend. You’re the closest thing to family | have now. |...well, | 
guess you knew that.” 


“| don’t always understand what | see in people’s minds. When | was 
a kid, | loved Herman like a father, and | thought he loved me like a 
son. | was wrong.” 


“Well, | love you like a brother. | hope that’s what you see when you 
look at me.” 


“It is,” he nodded with a warm smile. 
Icky let a long, exasperated sigh. 


“| can’t believe all of that really happened. Manny, what are we 
going to do? We can't close the Circus.” 


“We won’t, don’t worry. Herman didn’t do anything but bark orders, 
spend money, and kill people. | can run this Circus fine without him. 
Better even.” 

“Does that mean you’re going to be the Ringmaster?” 


Manny chuckled at the suggestion. 


“No, | don’t think | have the face for it. The Ringmaster should be a 
little easier on the eyes; someone who’s a good performer, and a 
good leader.” 


He placed the top hat upon her head. 
“You can’t be serious.” 


“Why not? You’ve been here almost forty years, you know this 
Circus inside and out. The Clowns love you, and anyone else who’s 
not afraid of Clowns loves you. | love you. It’s basically the same as 
being the Troupe Leader, just for the whole Circus.” 


“So...how would that work? What would you be?” 


“’'d be the Man with the Upside-Down Face, same as always. We 
can hammer out the details later, but for the most part I’d run back of 
house, you’d run front of house, and we’d have to come to an 
agreement on anything else. We can split the Circus’s profits fifty/ 
fifty. How’s that sound?” 


Icky thought for a moment. 


“| don’t want to run things like Fuller did. If we do this, we do this 
right. From now on this is a proper, respectable business. No more 
indentured workers, no more corporal punishment, no more 
murders. We stop treating this place like a prison and start treating it 
like a home.” 


“That’s how it should have been from the start,” Manny nodded. “We 
have a deal then?” 


“...Do we still call it Herman Fuller's Circus of the Disquieting ?” 


“Well, his name is on literally everything. Awful as he was, this place 
wouldn't exist without him. I’m willing to let him have his legacy.” 


“I can live with that,” Icky nodded. “So, what sounds better? 
Ringmaster or Ringmistress?” 


“'d go with Ringmaster, just because | know how much it would irk 
Fuller to have that title taken from him.” 


“Ringmaster it is,” she smiled, hoping to her feet. “Come on, let’s tell 
everyone that Herman’s gone forever!”