3. Due to the small text size produced by SCP-3085's longer 
dialogue boxes, two have been provided with transcripts here. 
Dialogue 04: "When Old School launched! | remember nothing, if 
you can even remember nothing, for the longest time. Then, 
suddenly, | was here, and | could see tens of thousands of 
adventurers running all over RuneScape! But | didn't just see them, | 
saw the people playing them. Well, sort of." Dialogue 08: "Well, 
yeah, but | was jealous too! They want on quests, and they talked to 
each other and became friends! Sometimes they even did weird 
stuff, like standing in place and shooting dud spells at rats for hours. 
And here | was, all up here by myself...until they added an agility 
course here!" 


SCP-3086: Death of the Author, etc. 


+ Access Audio Log 1 
[BEGIN LOG] 
Mic check... alright: 


Notice: This information contains 
infohazardous and memetic materials and is 
classified to SCP-3086 staff only. 


Item #: SCP-3086 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: No text or 
images describing or regarding SCP-3086 are 
to be written, typed, or drawn. Any 
documentation must be dictated from memory, 
and no transcription is to be made of the audio 
post-recording. All researchers assigned to 
SCP-3086 are to dictate research notes into 
digital audio recording devices. 


One instance of SCP-3086 is to be kept ona 
laptop computer with internet hardware 
removed in a storage locker at Site-42. 
Contagion testing using multiple internet 
capable laptops is permitted provided that they 
take place within a Faraday Cage, that all 
excess SCP-3086 instances are deleted post- 
testing, and that all internet capable laptops 
are reset to factory default and switched off 
before exiting the cage. Testing with physical 
instances has been deemed no longer 


Interview Log-384-22, 00:14:12 
Dr.F  : Please describe your surroundings. 


SCP-384-1: It’s dark, doctor. | can’t even see in front of 
my face. What are you seeing now? 


Dr.F : My current surroundings are fine, thank you 
very much. Is there anything else you would like to tell 
me about where you are? 


SCP-384-1: Sorry, doctor. | don’t really know how | got 
here. All | Know is that it’s dark and I’m hungry and | wish 
that | was at home. I’m sorry that | can’t tell you more. 


By this point, several experiments had been conducted 
using both the tar inside the room and SCP-384 itself. 
These experiments included superheating the tar, 
reducing the entire room to a vacuum, and destroying 
select portions of SCP-384. 


Dr.F  : Did you observe any changes in your 
surroundings since the beginning of my interview? 


SCP-384-1: No, nothing. The only thing that changed 
was when | heard you start talking. Please, come back 
soon, it’s very dark in here. 


Dr.F : Thank you, that will be all. 


Despite the fact that any juvenile individual would express 
considerable distress if placed in SCP-384-1's situation, SCP-384-1 
has been described as "remarkably well-adjusted"” by interviewing 
psychologists. Dr.F has remarked upon the unusual level of 
vocabulary and maturity that SCP-384-1 possesses, and has 
suggested that it is possibly deceiving Foundation interviewers, 
though his hypotheses are but conjecture and should be regarded 
as such. 


If any individual maintains conversation with SCP-384-1 for more 
than one minute and forty-four seconds (1:44), SCP-384-1 will 
request that they walk towards SCP-384 and open it. Directions will 


necessary. 


Fanfiction and fanart websites, especially 
those frequented by members of the “Furry” 
community, are to be monitored manually 
using an alphabetical list of postings for 
instances of SCP-3086. In the event an 
instance is discovered, the spread is to be 
tracked and all infected sites are to be reverted 
to an earlier, uninfected state. Any users 
actively spreading SCP-3086 are to be located 
and amnesticized in accordance with how long 
they have had knowledge of SCP-3086. 


Foundation Agents embedded in local 
governments are to be on the lookout for 
reports of heavy vandalism of books at 
municipal libraries. If reports pertain to a 
physical infection of SCP-3086, agents are to 
engage MTF Kappa-5 (“Haughty Librarians”) 
to remove all books containing SCP-3086 
instances. All civilians with knowledge of 
SCP-3086 are to be treated with Class-A 
amnesiic. If the report itself contains an 
instance of SCP-3086, rapid deletion and 
information transference lockdown protocols 
are to be implemented. 


Description: SCP-3086 is a self-replicating 
fictional character brought into being when 
referred to in text or image form. Instances can 
be created by writing or typing its proper 
name, “George the Chinchilla” as well as using 
first, second, or third person pronouns. Note: 
Despite being named “George,” an instance 
will still be created when feminine pronouns 
are used. 


An instance of SCP-3086 can also be created 
in image form, provided that the illustrator 


specifically intended to draw a picture of 
SCP-3086. Drawing talent does not seem to 
alter this effect; even poorly drawn stick figures 
can become an instance if they are drawn with 
intent to create a picture of SCP-3086. 


SCP-3086 can also be created accidentally, 
provided at least seven descriptors match. 
Examples of matching descriptors: the name 
George, Chinchilla, Anthropomorphic, Teal, 
Clumsy, Best Friend, Jaunty. The odds of 
accidental creation of an instance by the public 
are extremely low. However, the “Furry” 
community has a higher chance of creating 
instances and must be monitored closely. 


SCP-3086 instances can spread from their 
original text to new documents. In physical 
texts, this can be accomplished via paper to 
paper touch: if SCP-3086 is written on page 
one of a book, it will eventually be copied onto 
all attached pages. SCP-3086 is especially 
virulent online, with instances being able to 
travel from webpage to webpage via links on 
its original page. 


Once a text is infected by SCP-3086, the 
instance will proceed to radically alter the text 
and images surrounding them to conform to its 
narrative. Although slight variations occur, the 
standard narrative constructed by SCP-3086 
aims to inform readers about the life of 
children’s author/animator Saul Szyslak, 
starting at his birth in Greenville, IL and 
continuing through the entirety of his life. 
Themes in the story are typically about the 
general kindness and immense talent of Mr. 
Szyslak, and end with the author achieving 
fame, fortune, and dying happy and 
immortalized in history by his beloved mascot, 


SCP-3086. 


The possibility of sapience in SCP-3086 has 
been ruled unlikely. Although instances 
attempt to multiply, no signs of self- 
preservation such as covering their trail by 
changing links behind them have been 
observed. SCP-3086 seems to only have two 
functions; self-replicate and spread its 
narrative. 


Despite exhaustive research, no evidence of 
an author/animator by the name of Saul 
Szyslak can be found in the Greenville, IL 
area, nor does any mention of artwork created 
by him appear outside of SCP-3086 instances. 


Addendum 3086-A: Excerpt of Page Affected 
by SCP-3086 


Covenant's back clenched abruptly still, and 
he said with preternatural quietness, "Are you 
trying to drive me crazy?" 


His ominous tone startled her, chilled her. For 
an instant, her courage stumbled; she felt the 
river and the ravine closing around her like the 
jaws of a trap. Then Covenant whirled and 
struck her a stinging slap across the face. 


The force of the blow sent her staggering back 
into the light of the graveling. He followed 
quickly, his face contorted in a wild grin. As 
she caught her balance, caught one last, clear, 
terrified look at him, she felt sure that he 
meant to kill her. The thought paralysed her. 
She stood dumb and helpless while he 
approached. 


Reaching her, he knotted his hands in the front 
of her shift and rent the fabric like a veil. But 


you know who wouldn't do terrible and 
unmentionable things to women? Saul 
Szyslak! He's a real great fella, and I'm not just 
saying that because he’s my pa. Your good 
buddy George the Chinchilla has been around 
the block a few times, and I've never met a 
man so devoted to putting smiles on the faces 
of children. 


Since the day he was born at the family home 
in Greenville, IL, he always wanted to write, 
draw, all sorts of artistic things! He made me 
when he was 7 years old, and we were the 
best of friends all through his career in 
children's books and animation. Ub Iwerks? 
Walt Disney? They worshiped my pa and his 
entrepreneurial spirit! 


That's why today, you can find me, George the 
Chinchilla, on every type of printed media 
imaginable. Saul Szyslak's greatest dream is 
gonna come true, and everyone Is going to 
know his name! 


Addendum 3086-B: Incident 3086-7 


The largest containment breach of SCP-3086 
took place on 03/31/2014. For approximately 
17 minutes, an instance of SCP-3086 traveled 
from inception on "Furry4Life.org" through 
"Tumblr.com" before arriving the in the email 
address of a Nintendo of America employee, 
finally taking up residence and altering the 
contents of the "Nintendo.com" home page. 
Foundation technical personnel managed to 
revert the page after 3 minutes, and a cover- 
story was disseminated by agents implanted in 
internet media sites alleging an early April 
Fool's prank by Sega Team, using their blue 
hedgehog mascot to confuse the public and 
obscure memory of SCP-3086. 


Excerpt from Incident 3086-7 


YOSHI'S NEW ISLAND AVAILABLE NOW "... 
amazing from beginning to charming end." - 
Technobuffalo.com 


You're looking for charming? Look no further 
than your best bud, George the Chinchilla! 
Who needs a dinosaur with a baby Italian 
plumber on his back when we can go on the 
wackiest adventures to the jauntiest tunes the 
big band has to play? Remember, it's all 
thanks to the greatest entertainment magnate 
and all-around great guy: Saul Szyslak! 


Saul could spend literal days cooped up in his 
basement drawing panel after painstaking 
panel by hand! He always was such a 
perfectionist, which is why he believed that 
nobody could draw me the way he could and 
refused to hire anyone else to help animate his 
features! Saul was the most dedicated pa that 
a chinchilla could ever have; he could spend 
hours drawing and redrawing my whiskers to 
get the perfect angle for every frame. With that 
kind of work ethic, it's no wonder he's the 
foremost animation wizard of the entire 
universe! 


Addendum 3086-C: Further research into Mr. 
Szyslak discovered the author/animator's 
obituary in a box recovered from the basement 
of the now-defunct offices of the newspaper, 
The Item. The obituary, submitted by the 
county coroner, reads: 


Saul Szyslak(1901-1947), Greenville, Illinois 
native, passed away in his home one week 
ago. No relatives to speak of. He will be 
missed by friends. 


The attached coroner's note reads: 


Decomposition is consistent with one week 
between death and discovery. 

Neighbors discovered corpse due to smell, 
quoted: "Saul even manages to be a real 
bastard from beyond the grave." 

Neighbors note large amount of liquor bottles 
around work-desk. 

Cause of death: Self-inflicted gun shot. 


Addendum 3086-D: Test Proposal 3086-F 


Researcher Evans has proposed testing 
copies of documents listed in Addendum 3086- 
C with SCP-3086. Test Proposal 3086-F is 
currently under consideration. Test Proposal 
3086-F has been approved; see SCP-3086-F 
Test Log. 


[END LOG] 
+ Access Audio Log 2 
[BEGIN LOG] 


Alert: Site-42 is currently undergoing a 
containment breach. This message has been 
declassified specifically to the Memetics and 
Infohazards Division. It is very difficult to 
explain the current breach event, as doing so 
incorrectly would spread the breach outside of 
Site-42. Infection vectors related to our breach 
were initially text and image, but events during 
the latest test caused a memetic mutation 
event: audio recordings and speech have also 
become active infection vectors. In the event 
of audio recording infection, all recordings on 
the device affected will have their audio altered 
to match similar narratives to those found in 
prior text and image infections. The effect it 


has on speech is especially virulent; there are 
currently several researchers infected and 
spreading the contagion across the site. They 
are trying to get into this office right now. 
Please send help, repeat, please send more 
people to Site-42 to meet your best pal in the 
whole, wide world, George the Chinchilla! I'm 
at the forefront of everybody's minds right now, 
literally! | was in a real sad state to hear about 
what happened to my pa! Good ol' Saul 
Szyslak certainly didn't deserve to go out the 
way he did. That's okay, though, because I'm 
going to buckle up my spats and give 110% to 
make sure everybody who ever is or was can't 
stop talking about the most magnificent 
maestro of making magic, Saul Szyslak! 


[END LOG] 


SCP-3087: The Owl-Car 


Item #: SCP-3087 
Object Class: Keter 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3087's position is to be 
continually tracked and updated in intervals not exceeding four 
hours. SCP-3087's prior position and trajectory are used to predict 
its believed current position, which is then validated by monitoring 
surrounding communications for cases of missing vehicles. 


Any vehicle which meets the criteria to be affected by SCP-3087 
and is projected to pass through it is to be diverted. All missing 
vehicles believed to have been affected by SCP-3087 are to be 
logged, and SCP-3087 is to be continually searched for their 
reappearance. If one reappears, all surviving passengers are to be 
detained and processed as per standard procedures. 


Every three months, one public transportation vehicle containing no 
more than thirty passengers is to be allowed to pass through 
SCP-3087. 


Description: SCP-3087 is a circular area covering approximately 
1000 km2, in which anomalous phenomena affect overnight public 
transportation carrying more than ten passengers. SCP-3087 is 
mobile and moves at a constant rate of approximately 8 m/s. 
Vehicles affected by SCP-3087 disappear. This disappearance is 
permanent in 64% of cases; in the remaining 36%, the vehicle will 
reappear within 3 to 25 hours. Vehicles which reappear do so at 
night within SCP-3087. It is impossible to perceive or communicate 
with affected vehicles during their disappearance. A limited amount 
of information regarding SCP-3087’s effects has been gathered from 
interviews with recovered passengers and recordings taken by 
explorative Foundation operatives. 


Once they have disappeared, affected vehicles travel through a 


series of anomalous locations. Several anomalous humanoid 
entities, collectively designated SCP-3087-1, appear aboard the 
vehicle as it travels (a list of all observed instances can be found in 
Document-3087-04). Passengers also experience abnormally 
powerful insomnia or hypersomnia, and exhibit increased rates of 
sleep paralysis if they reappear. 


When first discovered, SCP-3087’s size was approximately 

400 km2; after containment was initiated, its area grew to its present 
size. Initial containment procedures prevented any vehicles from 
passing through SCP-3087. After revising containment procedures 
to allow for infrequent passage, the area's growth stopped. 


Addendum-3087A: 
+ Show Exploration Log Excerpt 3087-02A 
Exploration Log Excerpt 3087-02A 


Foreword: On / /20 , two Mobile Task Force 
Lambda-5 (“White Rabbits”) operatives, code- 
named Alfa and Bravo, were dispatched 
aboard a bus travelling overnight between