If required, SCP-2613 events are to be explained to any non- 
Foundation personnel as unscheduled funerary processions. Such 
observers who view reanimation, dessication or disappearance 
events are to be administered amnestics before their release back 
into the general population. 


Unless specifically approved for testing, interaction with SCP-2613 
events is strictly prohibited. MTF Theta-13 is to prevent non- 
Foundation personnel from interacting with SCP-2613 events. 
Corpses recovered during SCP-2613 testing are to be thoroughly 
cataloged and then destroyed by incineration after no more than a 1 
week delay from acquisition. 


Description: SCP-2613 is an anomalous event irregularly occurring 
in the Washington, DC metropolitan area, and which consists of a 
funerary procession of no known source. These processions are led 
by a hearse (known as SCP-2613-1) which is joined along its route 
by a number of vehicles (referred to as SCP-2613-2 instances).!Tag 
numbers present on SCP-2613-2 instances have yielded either no 
information or information which does not correlate with the details 
of the vehicles they are attached to. 


These vehicles are operated and occupied by a variable number of 
individuals (referred to as SCP-2613-3 instances) wearing military 
uniforms belonging to the US Armed forces. Uniforms associated 
with SCP-2613-3 instances have included all eras of service, 


including uniforms from eras before the invention of the automobile. 


SCP-2613 events initiate immediately after the deaths of certain 
individuals for whom identification is difficult, if not impossible, and 
often begin before emergency services have responded. All 
individuals fully identified by the Foundation have records indicating 
past service in the US Military. Due to the uniformly vagrant nature 
of these individuals, Foundation suppression of information relating 
to these disappearances is not recommended unless events are 
directly witnessed. 


SCP-2613 initiating events have been caught on video surveillance 
twice, and in both instances the deceased individual displayed signs 
of distress unrelated to SCP-2613, followed by collapse. Several 
minutes passed before SCP-2613-1 arrived, followed by a 
reanimating of the deceased individual. In both events, the 
deceased individual then opened and entered the rear compartment 
of SCP-2613-1. It has been determined through examination and 
testing that individuals involved in these initiating events do not 
remain reanimated past this point. 


With one exception, SCP-2613 events have been observed to follow 
a similar pattern: 


* SCP-2613-1 instances collect a deceased individual. 

¢ The SCP-2613-1 instance will begin to travel to the nearest 
cemetery. 

« At an average rate of approximately 1 additional vehicle a 
minute, SCP-2613-2 instances will increase the size of the 
procession. 

¢ Upon SCP-2613-1's arrival at the cemetery destination, 
SCP-2613-1 will slow to a stop. 

* SCP-2613-1 and SCP-2613-2 instances will immediately 
vanish along with any occupants. 


Video surveillance of disappearance events have yielded little 
information as to the mechanism of this behavior. 


SCP-2613-3 instances have proven relatively friendly and 
cooperative, however any successful attempt to breach the integrity 
of SCP-2613-2 vehicles, by either the occupants or Foundation 


personnel, have resulted in the immediate death and rapid 
dessication of SCP-2613-3 instances. This includes any attempts to 
open the doors, windows, and includes unorthodox methods of 
entry. 


Considering the behavior of SCP-2613-3 instances, it is 
recommended that larger processions be excluded from testing. 
While SCP-2613 events invariably end without incident when 
allowed to proceed unmolested, larger processions experience a 
‘domino effect' of dessication events as SCP-2613-3 instances 
breach the integrity of their own vehicles in an attempt to investigate 
the delay. 


+ Show 2613-A-7 Incident Log 
Incident Report-2613-A-7 


During the previous event (2613-A-6), the 
corpse contained in SCP-2613-1 was retained 
for further testing and identification. 9 days 
following the conclusion of the previous event, 
a funerary procession was found idling at the 
gate to Site-88. This procession contained 
no living SCP-2613-3 instances, and did not 
follow previous behavioral patterns. When the 
remains related to the previous test were 
moved to another site, the procession 
underwent a disappearance event similar to 
those previously observed. 


Following another delay of 9 days, the new site 
was subjected to a similar event. The 
SCP-2613 event followed an anomalous 
pattern of behavior, and a compromise of 
operational security was determined to be 
imminent given the gradual addition of new 
vehicles containing dessicated SCP-2613-3 
instances. 


A decision was made to destroy the remains 
from the previous test in an attempt to prevent 


gold". The machine dispensed a cup of molten gold. Researcher 
requested similar precious materials with the same result. 


Addendum [SCP-294j]: Researcher punched in (from a safe range) 
request for "cup of anti-water". The machine hummed briefly, then 
displayed "OUT OF RANGE" on entry pad. It is theorized that 
SCP-294 has a limited range of collection, and cannot reach into 
alternate universes/dimensions. 


Addendum [SCP-294k]: Researcher punched in request for 
"diamond". SCP-294 briefly hummed, then displayed "OUT OF 
RANGE" on entry pad. SCP-294 gives this result for all solid 
substances. As diamond is a solid crystalline form of carbon, it 
appears the machine will not dispense liquid carbon, as this does 
not result in a "diamond". When "cup of carbon" was subsequently 
punched in, the machine dispensed a cup of liquid carbon. SCP-294 
was immune to the damaging effects of the dispensed liquid. 


Addendum [SCP-294m]: Testing for range of SCP-294's capacity 
for retrieval has been initiated. A unique compound has been 
formulated, composed of undisclosed ratios of brand bleach, 
brand cola, MET-RX powder, and Garam masala. The fluid 
was created and placed in a sealed container 25 meters away from 
SCP 294. When requested, the fluid was dispensed. An equal 
amount of the mixture was no longer present in its original container. 


Addendum [SCP-2940-01]: Researcher , under observation 
of Level 4 personnel, keyed in a request of "the best drink I've ever 
had". SCP-294 dispensed a fluid similar in appearance to cola. The 
researcher identified it as a mixed drink he recalls having at a bar 
during his bachelor party, and was convinced it was "the best drink". 

did not know what ingredients were in the drink besides rum 
and cola. Further tests are scheduled to ascertain how SCP-294 
gathers information. 


Addendum [SCP-2940-01a]: Under the same conditions, Agent 
"the best drink I've ever had". SCP-294 delivered a dark fluid 
topped with white foam which was later identified as Vienna lager. 
The cup was printed with a color picture of five (5) men and two (2) 
women drinking beer on the beach; was one of them. In his 
briefing, Agent confirmed that his favorite drink ever was a 


further escalation. Following this, those 
remains were then relocated a third time, and 
another disappearance event was observed. 
No further deviations from expected behavior 
followed. The corpse associated with this 
incident remains unidentified. 


Footnotes 

1. Due to the similarity of SCP-2613's effects, and the base 
components of its anomaly toSCP-265, it is currently theorized that 
the two anomalies may be distantly related, or derived from another, 
more centralized anomaly. Further investigations into these 
similarities are ongoing. 


« SCP-2612 | SCP-2613 | SCP-2614 » 


SCP-2614: Sometimes | Go Out In Pity For Myself 


Item: SCP-2614 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2614 is to be kept in a 
locked container in the personal office of Dr. Schmidt. Requests to 
research SCP-2614 must be forwarded to his office. 


Description: SCP-2614 is a DVD copy of the fifth season of the 
television drama The Sopranos. The disc itself is moderately 
scratched, consistent with deterioration after heavy use. The object 
does not bear any marks of origin, although the word 
"BOOKSHELF" written in black marker obscures the title logo on the 
top face. 


When played, SCP-2614 is non-anomalous unless an action is 
performed during a scene where a character is watching the film 

. If the Play button is pressed on any working remote device, the 
viewer is granted control of the camera view through the device's 
directional pad and the center button used for forward movement. 
The camera is free-moving and fully maneuverable. Upon the 
performance of this action, it is not possible to revert to the previous 
non-anomalous state without ejecting the object and thoroughly 
cleaning with isopropyl alcohol. 


After assuming control of the camera, the show's setting will begin to 
elapse in real time. As such, characters have been observed to 
continue interacting after what would normally have been a scene 
transition. It is not possible to fast-forward or rewind. Judging by the 
apparent in-universe date at the outset, the user would have to wait 
three days and fourteen hours and navigate the camera to a strip 
club known to be frequented by associates of the DiMeo Family, in 
order to be present for the next chronological broadcast scene. 


The POV cannot pass through solid objects. If maneuvered out of 


the Soprano residence, it is theoretically possible to ascend to deep 
space, although this is not feasible given the rate of travel. 


The movement of this observational point is not bounded in three 
dimensions. Recent research has succeeded in navigating the 
camera to Boston, MA. It appears that the world depicted contains 
numerous cities populated by actual individuals. However, despite 
the show's realism, its own stylistic flourishes and nature as a 
television show — such as major characters being unusually audible 
in social settings — continue to be apparent. These, which might be 
referred to as "meta-anomalies", are not acknowledged by 
characters or "bystanders." 


The POV itself cannot manipulate the environment but is capable of 
entering the settings of other visual media if it is directed to move 
into an in-universe television or computer screen until the image 
occupies the entire field of view. From that point, the camera can be 
navigated into other screens in that setting, and so on potentially 
indefinitely. 


Researchers concede the impossibility of fully mapping these 
mimetic universes, although efforts are ongoing. Since these 
mediums can potentially differ radically from their parent universe - 
such as actors existing as their actual character portrayal - it is 
possible to enter alternate or unknown media. 


What follows is a transcript log of mimetic travel and accounts of 
what can be referred to as extra- or supra-canonical material. 


+ Preliminary Testing 


Universe: The Sopranos 

Description: First recorded experiment after discovery 
of effect. POV directed to a bookshelf in the Sopranos 
living room where a note written in a journal pad is 
clearly legible. It reads, "Art is the emanation of Man, 
Man the Emanation of Nature, God the Grandfather of 
Art." 


Universe: The Sopranos 
Description: POV ordered to remain in place at starting 


point for exactly ten hours, during which Tony Soprano 
retires to bed and awakes at 7 AM. He subsequently 
becomes agitated at the lack of a brand of orange juice 
drink in the refrigerator. This scene is not present in the 
show. 


Universe: The Sopranos 

Description: POV is navigated out of the Sopranos 
residence through an open window in the second-floor 
bathroom. The night sky is cloudy, and does not match 
corresponding meteorological records of that date. POV 
is able to break cloud cover and move indefinitely 
upwards if it is so desired. 


+ Home Universe and Alternate Property Logs 


Universe: The Sopranos 

Description: POV was placed in Soprano bathroom. 
Character Tony Soprano observed to have sobbed in 
shower. This is not mentioned in the original plotline. 


Universe: The Sopranos 

Description: POV moved to the residence of character 
Christopher Moltisanti, a protégé and nephew of Tony 
Soprano. Character is observed to go on an alcohol 
binge and shout profanities directed at his uncle. This is 
not depicted in the original broadcast. 


Universe: The Wizard of Oz 

Description: POV was maneuvered to the local Newark 
Library where a child was watching the film on a desktop 
computer. POV traveled east for days before entering 
what appears to be an outer-space void colored pink and 
yellow. 


Universe: Snow White 

Description: POV maneuvered from Dorothy character's 
Kansas Home to a private showing of the Disney film in 
Denver. POV was subsequently directed upwards, and 
once having gained a sufficient altitude, descended on a 
continent east of the events of the film. In this continent, 


researchers discovered a young man in combat with a 
boar-like creature. It was revealed the princess’ 
stepmother is a dark sorceress and had been 
manipulating the events to ensure the crown for her 
youngest son. As there are obviously no television sets 
in this setting, testing was suspended and resumed in 
home universe. 


Universe: The Simpsons 

Description: Found in home located in Soprano 
neighborhood. When POV is directed out of Springfield, 
researchers discovered characters in the style of rival 
show Family Guy, which has been justified in the 
crossover event that aired ten years after initial airing of 
the anomalous Sopranos episode. The programs' 
respective "cartoon physics" have been observed to 
cause considerable environmental and occasionally 
urban devastation. 


Universe: The Jetsons 

Description: Found in the home of former DiMeo Family 
boss Corrado Soprano. POV was immediately directed 
to descend beneath the setting's thick atmospheric cloud 
cover. Researchers discovered what appears to be a 
1950s-era archetypal American family referred to as "the 
Jacksons" that live in a WASP suburban community 
inoculated from the planet's toxic atmosphere. The 
Jacksons family members correspond roughly to the 
character types in The Jetsons and The Flintstones. 


Universe: Last Temptation of Christ 

Description: Found playing in DiMeo Family associate 
Bobby Baccialeri's residence. After the final scene, after 
which a crucified Jesus proclaims "It is done!" and the 
screen flickers to white, the credits did not play. POV 
was ordered to move forward. As there was no way to 
gauge movement, researchers were ordered to place an 
object on the center button overnight. Upon their return, 
POV was revealed to have been stopped in front of a 
luminescent female figure. [DATA EXPUNGED] 


Universe: Goodfellas 

Description: POV ordered to inspect the cockpit of a 
helicopter Ray Liotta's character fears to be the federal 
authorities. Upon inspection, helicopter pilot revealed to 
be a civilian. 


Universe: 2001: A Space Odyssey 

Description: Researchers were able to discover a 
second terrestrial Monolith in the ocean supposedly 
linked to an Atlantis-like civilization after entering a 
researcher character's office and perusing all readable 
material. 


Universe: 2001: A Space Odyssey 

Description: Above experiment repeated, but POV 
entered the film during the infamous "Star Child" 
sequence. POV subsequently unable to move. View 
appeared to be moving through a vortex of visually 
distorted nature scenes. [DATA EXPUNGED] 


Universe: Gladiator