Mission Description: SHV-258-1 is to maintain its 
designated orbit at all times. If SHV-258-1 receives a 
confirmation signal from SHV-258-2, it is to begin 
transmitting the data it contains at the current location of 
Site-01. It is to continue to transmit until the confirmed 
conclusion of Procedure SHV-258. Estimated mission 


have subsided, personnel are subject to psychological evaluation 
prior to return to duty. If anomalous effects are still present after the 
administration of a Class A amnestic, remaining personnel may be 
reassigned to non-anomalous research, administrative, and medical 
positions. Civilians exposed are to be administered a Class A 
amnestiic prior to release. Please refer to Document 400-1R for 
reintegration instructions by geographic region. Damage control for 
infestations affecting population centers of 500 persons or more may 
employ amnestic agent Ennui-02 locally if necessary. 


At least one active SCP-400 colony must be collected from all 
subsequent infestations, and remanded to genetic research 
personnel with Level 3/400 clearance. 


Description: SCP-400 is the collective designation for an 
anomalous species of arthropod similar to Armadillidium vulgare, or 
the common pill bug. SCP-400 individuals are morphologically 
similar to A. vulgare in appearance, but can be distinguished visually 
by bright red striping patterns on their dorsal carapace. Visual 
identification is only possible by individuals not under the influence 
of SCP-400’s anomalous effects. SCP-400 is a parasitic organism 
which feeds on human mammary secretions. Access to this food 
source is gained by habitation and manipulation of deceased human 
infants. 


Affected persons are subject to a Type 3 cognitohazard via a 
pheromone vector, which repurposes the natural child-rearing 
instincts present in all humans for its own feeding and protection. 
Those subject to this effect are unable to perceive SCP-400 or the 
damage it causes to infants. Exposure to D-Class assets has 
determined that the effect does not apply to video or audio 
surveillance, and that Level 4 Biohazard precautions are sufficient in 
preventing the effects’ onset. Personnel briefed on SCP-400’s 
effects show no special immunity to the false perceptions created by 
the anomaly. 


As of 14/07/2005, the Ethics Committee has determined that future 
human experimentation with SCP-400 will only be allowed in unique 
and dire circumstances. As such, all information regarding 
SCP-400’s relationship with humans and life cycle have been 
compiled from extensive surveillance and interviews conducted in 


length: 250 years 
Designation: SHV-258-2 
Launch Mass: 300 tons 


Power: 200 MW (Small Modular Fusion Reactor, 
Galvani Steady-State Batteries’) 


Communications: 800 MHz / 60 W Crosslink Antenna, 
800 MHz / 50 W UHF receiver, 9GHz / 15 kW High-Gain 
Antenna 


Propulsion: 100 MW Argon Variable Specific Impulse 
Magnetoplasma Rocket (AVASIMR) 


Payload: 2,300 (two-thousand three hundred) 512 TB 
Solid State Drives with 1.2 Exabytes of aggregate space, 
filled with compiled material from the National Archive 
and Records Administration, the Library of Congress, the 
UK National Archives, the French Archives 
Administration, 30 University archives, select web 
databases, and the Foundation Database. 1 (one) in- 
vitro gestation device, equipped to bring 300 human 
embryos to term. Both hard drives and embryos are to 
be shielded from cosmic ray bombardment using the 
argon fuel tanks and lead shielding. 1 (one) gamma ray 
sensor. 1 (one) low-energy charged particle detector. 1 
(one) optical spectroscope. 


Mission Description: SHV-258-2 is to remain on 
standby and maintain its designated orbit until it receives 
radio confirmation to begin Phase 2 of Procedure 
SHV-258. Phase 2 may also be triggered by sufficiently 
high gamma ray readings from the direction of Earth ora 
cessation of radio communications from Foundation 
ground stations. SHV-258-2 will send a confirmation 
signal to SHV-258-1 and will then attempt to exit the 
solar system. The onboard command module will 
calculate an efficient trajectory and execute the 
necessary burns. Once SHV-258-2 is on a trajectory to 


leave the Solar System, all non-essential systems are to 
be disabled, and the spacecraft will go into hibernation. If 
SHV-258-2 detects a change in the flow direction of low- 
energy charged particles around it, some systems will be 
partially enabled to allow further investigation. If a 
possible life-bearing planet is detected in the vicinity of 
SHV-258-2, the contents of the onboard SSDs are to be 
broadcast openly. SHV-258-2 is not to change its 
trajectory at any time unless met with a responding 
signal. Further directives for SHV-258-2 have been 
classified. Estimated mission length: Indefinite. 


Addendum 3148-2: Examples of SCP-3148 


The following samples of SCP-3148-1 have been provided for 
personnel awareness of SCP-3148. 


+ Show SCP-3148-1-1962-2. 
+ Show SCP-3148-1-1955-3 


Addendum 3148-3: List of Updated Handling Protocols for 
Anomalous Objects 


Below is a list of new directives for the use of SCP objects currently 
in the Foundation’s custody. This list is actively updated by the staff 
previously involved in object containment. 


+ Show list 
Date: 18-06-2032, 2:38:17 UTC 
SCP-1055 


SCP-1055 has been relocated to an 
undisclosed location near Site-19. ALL 
documentation for SCP-1055 has been 
declassified and printed copies have been 
distributed to all Site-77 staff. We all know the 
danger that place represents, and we’re a 
willing to take the necessary sacrifice to get rid 
of it. After the confirmed elimination of all or 


most anomalous objects contained at Site-19, 
all Site-77 personnel will voluntarily commit 
suicide. | hope you can forgive us. 


-Site Director Malvoni 
Date: 18-06-2032, 4:16:20 UTC 
SCP-096 


Images of SCP-096 have been reproduced 
and airdropped in the vicinity of Site-77, 
Site-01, Site-06, Site-88, and Area-55. These 
measures have been taken to ensure the 
neutralization of humanoid SCP objects. We’re 
not going out that easy, you bastards. 


-Site Director Johnson 
Date: 18-06-2032, 4:18:59 UTC 
SCP-3410 


Any direct threats to Site-367 will be met with 
the release of SCP-3410-1 from its current 
containment system. 


-Senior Researcher Savic 
Date: 18-06-2032, 8:04:05 UTC 
SCP-966 


All currently contained instances are to be 
safely moved outside of Site-30 and set free. 
All other objects contained at Site-30 are to be 
destroyed through non-anomalous means. 
We're not a threat. 


Date: 18-06-2032, 8:28:19 UTC 
SCP-1514 


We're going to destroy the device. Probably 
the fastest way to get this over with. See you 
all on the other side. 


-Junior Researcher Adams 
Date: 18-06-2032, 6:34:03 UTC 
SCP-460 


SCP-460 has been set to calculate the final 
digit of Euler's Number. If anyone comes 
close, we'll shut it down. 


-Agent Breck 
Date: 18-06-2032, 9:40:57 UTC 
SCP-231 


Procedure-110-Montauk has been revoked. All 
Site-19 personnel are to evacuate the site 
immediately, regardless of previous 
containment responsibilities. SCP-231-7 is to 
be removed from its current containment 
chamber by volunteer personnel and placed 
outside. I'll put my money on whatever comes 
crawling out. 


-Site Director Johnson 
Date: 18-06-2032, 10:08:29 UTC 
SCP-913 


Genetic material from SCP-913 has been 
developed into three viable embryos. These 
embryos have been modified to present 
accelerated growth, and are to be airdropped 
over Site-19 before reaching maturity. It’s 
worth a shot. 


-Site Director Malvoni 
Date: 18-06-2032, 14:58:17 UTC 
SCP-579 


Containment has failed. There was no time to 
execute Action 10-Israfil-A. 


May God help us all. 
Date: 18-07-2032, 10:24:45 UTC 
SCP-2432 


All Site-59 Personnel are to enter SCP-2432-A 
and take shelter at Site-64T. For however long 
it takes. Lock the door behind you. 


...49 updates failed to load. Please wait... 
Addendum 3148-4: Untitled 
+ Show 


I’m not entirely sure what day it is. Maybe the 
concept doesn’t even apply anymore. 


Everything failed. Ganymede was our best 
hope, and the facility was overrun on the first 
day, that first terrible day. It quieted down real 
fast after that. Shiva was always something of 
a half-baked idea, and it went about as well as 
you'd expect. The second one made it off the 
ground at least, but we lost contact with 
mission control while it was still on the way up. 
A couple days after that, we got a short 
message from the launch site. Apparently the 
rocket was swallowed by some temporal 
anomaly before it got to orbit. 


As far as | can tell, all that’s left are a few 


pockets, almost all ex-Foundation, but 
communication has been tense and spotty. 
From what I’ve seen of the outside, the only 
thing keeping us alive are the Scranton 
Anchors and the containment systems 
themselves. 


You know this whole thing is almost funny to 
me. It really is fucking hilarious. 


Maybe | should have seen it coming. Could 
have stopped it. 


In any case. To anyone still listening: this is 
05-13. I’m the last remaining council member. 
I'd like to thank you all for your service and 
formally apologize. We were wrong. 


Goodbye 


Good morning. 


Footnotes 
1. The GSSB is capable of holding charge indefinitely, provided that 
load voltage is sufficiently low. 


SCP-3149: Monkey Business 


Item #: SCP-3149 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: The building containing 
SCP-3149 is currently owned by the Foundation and has been 
completely sealed from the public. At least two security personnel 
are to guard the entrance to SCP-3149 at all times. Any individuals 
attempting to gain access to the building are to be apprehended, 
interviewed and released after administration of amnestics. 


All specimens of SCP-3149-1 are to be stored in an enclosure at 
Site-10 and fed twice a day in accordance with Nutritional Chart 
3149-1-1. Any testing involving SCP-3149-1 must be approved by at 
least one member of Level 3 personnel. 


Due to their relative docility while inside SCP-3149, all specimens of 
SCP-3149-2 are to be contained within it. Observational equipment 
within SCP-3149 is to be used to confirm the presence of all 
SCP-3149-2 specimens at all times. 


Description: SCP-3149 is an extra-dimensional space accessible 
by walking backwards through an empty doorframe located in an 
abandoned office in Los Angeles, California. Graffiti next to the 
doorframe provides the following instructions for accessing 
SCP-3149: 


YOU DO THE HOKEY POKEY AND YOU TURN 
AROUND 


Upon walking backwards through the doorframe, the individual 
concerned is instantly transported to SCP-3149, the interior of which 
resembles a large warehouse. No natural sources of light are visible 
through the windows of SCP-3149, and all attempts to breach 
through its boundaries have been unsuccessful. The primary 


contents of SCP-3149 in terms of objects are one hundred desks, 
one hundred laptop computers! atop these desks, one hundred 
printers placed below each desk, a large chute in the center of the 
room, and when first discovered, the corpse of one elderly woman2. 
A free standing doorframe is also present in SCP-3149, allowing 
individuals to exit it using the same method. 


Evidence suggests SCP-3149 was a facility utilized by Gol-1783 
("Westhead Media") for the purpose of mass-producing written 
literature, primarily via a workforce of SCP-3149-1 specimens. 


SCP-3149-1 is the collective designation for, at the time of writing, 
seventy-three Formosan rock monkeys? originally found producing 
literature within SCP-3149-1. All soecimens of SCP-3149-1 differ 
from non-anomalous specimens of their species in that they possess 
a large opening on their back intended to be filled with written works. 
Despite the presence of this opening, the bodies of SCP-3149-1 
specimens appear to be able to function as normal. 


When a written work is inserted into the back of an SCP-3149-1 
specimen, they will adopt the personality and memories of that 
work's original author. Despite receiving a human personality, the 
SCP-3149-1 specimen will remain unable to vocalize outside the 
extent of that possible for a monkey, making non-verbal 
communication necessary. When first brought into Foundation 
custody, the SCP-3149-1 specimens were determined to have 
identical personalities to a number of famous and successful 
authors, with the exception of severe trauma brought about by their 
time in SCP-3149. 


Use of SCP-3149-1 specimens for intelligence and historical 
purposes is under consideration pending a verdict from the Ethics 
Committee. 


SCP-3149-2 is the collective designation for ten organisms 
superficially resembling lampreys of abnormally large sizes, 
reaching heights of 1.5 meters and lengths of 3 meters. Despite their 
resemblance to lampreys, specimens of SCP-3149-2 are land-based 
and move by slithering across the ground. Analysis of the bodies of 
SCP-3149-2 specimens has shown that they have little in the way of 
internal organs, suggesting they are animated through anomalous 


means. SCP-3149-2 specimens are docile towards individuals from 
outside SCP-3149 unless one attempts to remove them, at which 
point they will become hostile until allowed to return to their original 
position. 


When a specimen of SCP-3149-1 fails to meet its quota of one page 
every ten minutes, the nearest specimen of SCP-31 49-2 will move 
to their position and exact physical punishment. This largely consists 
of blunt force inflicted using SCP-3149-2's tail or lacerations using 
SCP-3149-2's mouth. These attacks are invariably focused on the 
legs and torso of the specimen of SCP-3149-1, presumably so that 
they remain able to use their hands for writing purposes. While 
these injuries are painful, they are rarely permanently damaging. 
This is also presumed to be intentional on the part of SCP-3149-2, 
as they have proven capable of inflicting greater injuries during 
attempts to remove them from SCP-3149. 


SCP-3149 was initially located following the successful escape of a 
single SCP-3149-1 specimen, which came to the Foundation's 
attention following several 911 calls reportedly made by a monkey. 
The agents who proceeded to the source of these calls were then 
directed to SCP-3149 by the SCP-3149-1 specimen in question. 


Interview 3149-1 


Upon initial containment, an interview was conducted 
with SCP-3149-1-2 by Doctor McCall. SCP-3149-1-2 is 
viewed as a leader figure by the other specimens of 
SCP-3149-1 due to seniority and, as a result, more 
experience with appeasing their captors. Interview was 
conducted using a text-to-speech interface for 
SCP-3149-1-2. 


Interviewer: Dr. McCall 
Interviewee: SCP-3149-1-2 


<Begin Interview> 


Dr. McCall: Well, ah, | suppose | should refer 
to you as ‘Agatha’. 


SCP-3149-1-2: No. 
Dr. McCall: I'm sorry? 


SCP-3149-1-2: | am not Agatha Christie. | am 
a copy of Agatha Christie. This was made 
clear to me before your people arrived. 


(Pause.) 


Dr. McCall: | see. May | ask, what was the last 
thing you remember before your captivity? 


SCP-3149-1-2: Dying. At my house. 


Dr. McCall: Oh. I'm sure that must have been 
disconcerting. 


SCP-3149-1-2: Indeed. Then | wake up in the 
body of a chimp in a warehouse, and told to 
write. 


Dr. McCall: Told to write by who exactly? 


SCP-3149-1-2: The old woman. The Swede. 
She worked for a company, a thing called 
Westhead. That was all she told me. That, and 
how much | was to write. The rest she left to 
the Bookworms. 


Dr. McCall: You had no further interaction with 
her? 


SCP-3149-1-2: Aside from her coming to 
deliver our food, none. 


Dr. McCall: Hm. I'm led to believe you're a 
leader among the people found within 
SCP-3149? 


SCP-3149-1-2: What?