You look back to your wife and ask, "You know, | only know you 
"My name?" she replies brightly, "It's D." She stops, concerned. 


A quick look outside the window shows that the fence has gotte 
as well. 


"D!" Kermit calls from the television holding up a large letter D. ' 
Death row!" 


Scared now, the wife adds, "| made you a cake." She reaches i 
strawberry filling, pink fondant, and light brown buttercream. 


"Doubt! Dread! Dunce! Disaster! Detain! David drowned himselt 
The fence is now inside the kitchen, and half the room is filled w 


You finish your scotch and feel emboldened. You stand. "No. TI 
am not going to fill my home with the likes of you!" You pick up 
researchers into pieces. 


"Destroy! Devastate! Decimate! Decommission!" 


"Come here, mine!" You pull her in, kiss her deeply. You unzip | 
crushing the cake. 


"Delicious! Delectable! Devour your darling deeply!" 


She's pink. Pink fondant. Brown buttercream hair. You bite into 
tear off a chunk and swallow. She screams in pain. You keep e: 
oozes out of her as you stuff your face with her intense, rewardi 


"Don't! Desist! Desirable!" 


You have your fill. Satisfied, you turn to the TV. Kermit looks at 
good cake! Don't worry, I'll clean up the mess." Kermit hops out 
remaining crumbs. 


You awaken, refreshed. 
Closing Remarks: 
Subject: D-39584 


Upon interview, the subject confirmed the dream while | 
refreshed, and a post-experiment physical revealed red 
euphoria. 


Subject wished to add a statement to the report: "Here, 
today, | discovered my dream girl. Literally. | guess it's « 
Given the minimal risk caused by the experiments, regu 
subjects. 


Researchers note that SCP-209 is designed to handle t 
that future experimentation should be done with two sul 


"Hottest. Cake. Ever." 
"Pfttft!" 
"And scotch again." 


"Yeah. All the dreams have scotch. We aren't sure why. We've 
marked it as an anomalous behavior." 


"And they both start with someone saying it's a dream." 


"Yup! It's weird, when you're hooked up to the device, your dreams 
are more vivid and lucid. Probably something to keep you from 
recording a dreamless night. | mean, it's not a dangerous SCiP, but 
there really is some weird spooky stuff happening in that computer. 
It's got to be feeding a dream just as much as recording one." 


"Feeding you scotch, apparently." 
"Yeah, it really gave me an appreciation for single cask vs. blended." 
"Huh? What do you mean? You've been hooked up to it?" 


"Mhm. Since regular personnel got cleared to be subjects, | tried it 
out myself." 


"Oh, really? Do you have that dream?" 


"Right here." 


scp6823110monta 


You enter a bathroom stall, a standard stall in Site-19. You hea 
Hello? Anyone there?" 


You realize the toilet has not been flushed. You peer into the bc 
matter within the toilet splashes out, and the head a malicious g 
emerges from the depths of the commode. 


The creature speaks, in a low, scratchy, hollow voice, "Welcom 
researching the worst SCP ever. The most destructive demon e 
Montauk." 


The woman in the next door stall shudders. "No. Not that. Anytt 
The creature presses, "Prepare to meet your doom. There is no 


The stall door opens, entering into a large, wide containment ch 
chamber. The only apparent item in the chamber is a single me 
medical lamp. A respirator can be heard, pumping air onto the t 


You start walking toward the table. A child's sobbing can be hee 
undulating motions are detected, a blackish green against black 


The whimpering in the stall next to hers continues: "No, no plea 
closes. "No, | need something else. Something else." 


You approach the medical table. Although the rattling hacking a 
be heard, they stay back. Only suggestions to their presence re 
resembling SCP-209 dip in a tumbler of scotch. A girl's voice is 


You laugh and look around. What, this is the worst that could he 
scotch and sip it. You look into the glass, inhale the aroma of th 


The entire containment chamber floods with light, showing stark 
creatures, each about 8 meters tall, resembling giant lizard-octc 
the containment chamber trying to avoid the light, trying to avoic 
chamber flickers to life, showing the image of the octopus head 
experiment was a success. The end of the world has arrived. T| 
charge." Scenes of devastation appear on the viewscreen, but t 
unblemished, antiseptic. 


You shrug, and look around. You remember you are supposed 
woman cowering in the stall, opens the door, stops wailing, and 
finish your scotch and walk over to the sinks at the side of the c 
a terry cloth towel. You are about to dry your hands when you n 
The cowering woman approaches slowly. You flick the first inse 
towel, but the insects multiply in number, become larger, more « 


Disgusted, you toss the towel to the cowering woman. "You're 4 
help one biiiit!" The woman starts jerking and screaming as the 


just leave you to them,” you spit in contempt, pointing to the mo 
the screaming woman. You turn to leave the room, the voice of 
"Commence Procedure SCP-6823110-Montauk." As you leave, 


Outside the chamber, the world is intact and opens to a lovely p 
meadow rise majestically, the ground is carpeted with beautiful 
the park. There are no signs of devastation anywhere. 


You awaken, refreshed. 
Closing Remarks: 
Subject: Junior Researcher 


Upon interview, subject confirmed the dream while atta 
and a post-experiment physical revealed reduced stres: 
uninterrupted sleep, corresponding to her actual sleep 1 


Of note is that the subject is new to the Foundation and 
before, even in rumor. 


SCP-209 is designated Safe and it is not considered ha 
the dreams are generated and recorded. 


Researchers note that SCP-209 is designed to handle t 
that future experimentation should be done with two sul 


What? This test was supposed to have two people. We 
just fine with one. When are we going to try it with two? 
If |have to be the next subject, | will. This thing is harm| 
don't know how it was made. Maybe a little for dream c« 
learning about a dream recorder that works, but until we 
we can't risk it. 


- Dr. 


"Oh my god, that girl was such a whiner! Leaving her with those 
things? Totally deserved it." 


"Yes, | mean, please, 'no, no, not that, I'm so scared of an empty 
table!’ What, does 110-Montauk have to do with a medical table that 


attacks you or something?" 
"...You really don't know what that is, do you?" 


"I'm new, you know. A couple months ago, I'd never even heard of 
the Foundation." 


"Right... but... how did you dream about it?" 


"| don't know. Why did | dream about scotch, too? Heck, we don't 
really know all the capabilities of 209. Like | said, | think it records 
dreams from others and uses them to feed dreams for the subject? 
Maybe someone who used this early on really liked scotch. We still 
don't know who built it. Anyway, I've got one more dream here. 
Wanna see?" 


"Let's do this! Better than a movie marathon, this is." 


ignorethatmrpresid 


You are on stage, at a podium with a plate with your name ("Ag 
shrouded in darkness, with a blue background behind you. A se 
Vietnamese man, mid-50s, in a lab coat. The second podium be 


At the front of the stage, just before the audience, an elderly Ca 
same shade as the stage background sits at a desk. He states, 
listening to our two Presidential candidates. The first question is 
the United States?" Emboldened, you say yes. A light bell is he: 
Minh. Is this the dream you wanted?" 


Dr. Minh replies, "Agent Washington and | are here, together, a 


A buzzer is heard. "I'm sorry, I'll ask the questions tonight. The | 
going to lower taxes?" 


You think a moment and say the first thing that comes to mind. | 


"That is correct. The next question is for Dr. Minh. You are pollit 
[REDACTED] (this is shown by the word "REDACTED" showing 
will win the electrical vote?" 


Dr. Minh becomes agitated and conjectures, "Wait, all these dre 


When there's one subject, they just win against some dream. Bi 
head to head. Who wins? Do we both get scotch? Does the sco 
the loser? Is the loser the winner's dream? Oh no, does this me 


The buzzer sounds. It repeats again and again, every three sec 
incorrect. Congratulations, Agent Washington. You are the new 


The audience erupts in applause. You see yourself, fireworks e' 
scotch in your hand. Drowned out by the thundering applause, | 
scotch yourself anyway. You notice your shoelaces have been : 


The moderator turns angrily to Dr. Minh. "You, sir, are out of line 
President, please choose your executive order." 


You look at your podium, which has grown larger, become oval 
on it. In the seconds taken to examine the podium, buttons labe 
visible. You press a button labeled "Guantanamo." 


You look up and see Dr. Minh wearing an orange jumpsuit and 
Dr. Minh and force him to his knees. They wheel out a large, blc 
static, with a horizontal bar over the static, labeled "DATA EXPl 


"Aw, c'mon, are they serious? They're expunging this record?" 


"No, be patient and look closely. This expunging is part of the 
dream. He dreamed his dream being expunged." 


The static has a horizontal bar over it, labeled "DATA EXPUNC 
occasional sound of marching soldiers. It becomes clear that th 
of ground meat, like pork being made into sausage. The bar ree 


The moderator addresses you, saying, "Well done, Mr. Presider 
public." The point of view shifts to see the audience clapping in 
the entire United States. The entire nation erupts in fireworks. 


You awaken, refreshed. 
Closing Remarks: 


Subject: Agent 


Upon interview, the subject confirmed the dream while | 
good spirits, scored low on anxiety tests, with low levels 
Subject remarked, "Did you see that? | got to be Presid 


Subject asked about Dr. Minh in his dreams, apparently 
Foundation personnel records to confirm that no persor 
hired. Satisfied, subject resumed duty. 


Researchers note that SCP-209 is designed to handle t 
that future experimentation should be done with two sul 


"You know, Rashaun insisted on being called Mr. President for a 
week after this experiment." 


"Haha, you serious? Well, let's face it, he had an awesome dream. 
They're all awesome in their own way." 


"Heh, true. Even mine, it was like it was supposed to be scary, but | 
had no idea why. So everything became scared of me, and | was a 
total badass." 


"Yeah! ...You know... You think | could try it out?” 


"What, you want to dream for 209? We could do that. It's not in use 
tonight. And I'm the principal researcher, so | have the access card 
for it." 


"| still don't know how you got that. Usually there's a doctor who's 
principal researcher, not some newbie junior researcher." 


"Yeah, but like, this thing's so safe, they don't need huge 
containment protocols on it. So yeah, let's go. Maybe we should do 
it together. After all, we've never tried two subjects yet." 


he should have chosen box #22. 
Note: Ah, so it's not limited to English. Makes sense. - Dr Velasco 


Test 5 

Test Subject: D-698-4 

Action: Test subject is presented with 50 sealed cardboard boxes, 
all of which contain dog feces. Subject is told that one box has a 
piece of chocolate cake, and that if he chooses the correct box, and 
then waits 6 minutes, he may have a piece of cake. 

Result: Test subject chooses box #40. After 6 minutes, subject asks 
if he can open the box now. In post-experiment interview, subject 
denies having heard any voices in his head. 


Test 6 

Test Subject: D-698-5 

Action: Test subject is presented with 50 sealed cardboard boxes, 
49 of which contain dog feces and 1 of which contains a slice of 
chocolate cake which has been poisoned. Subject is told that if he 
chooses the correct box, and then waits 6 minutes, he may have a 
piece of cake. 

Result: Test subject chooses box #28 (poisoned cake is in box 
#29). After 7 minutes, subject asks if he can open the box now. In 
post-experiment interview, subject denies having heard any voices 
in his head. 


Test 7 

Test Subject: D-698-6 

Action: Test subject is presented with 50 sealed cardboard boxes, 
45 of which contain dog feces and 5 of which contain a slice of 
chocolate cake. Subject is told that if he chooses the correct box, 
and then waits 6 minutes, he may have a piece of cake. 

Result: Test subject chooses box #8 (cake is in boxes #13, 14, 24, 
29, 47). After 5 minutes and 25 seconds, subject reports hearing a 
voice in his head telling him that "| chose a box of [EXPLETIVE], 
but denies having heard any recommendation as to which box he 
should have chosen. 


Test 8: 

Test Subject: D-698-7 

Action: Test subject is presented with a list of professional runners 
and asked which one she thinks will win the [REDACTED] 


Probe-H9 


[151631.1219] <PH9> PROBE-H9 TO DEEP RECON. 


[151631.1236] <DRC> *ahem* Probe-Hg9, this is deep recon. Found 
something in quadrant-86 besides nothingness? Or can | just cross 
this one off the list as well? 


[151631.1250] <PH9> | AM DETECTING AN SOS SIGNAL. 
COORDINATES ARE: , , . 


[151631.1271] <DRC> Probe-H9, confirm acquisition and runa 
preliminary diagnostics on all your long range scanners, see if you 
can get a visual while | map these coordinates. 


[151631.1257] <PH9> AFFIRMATIVE. RUNNING A DIAGNOSTIC 
CHECK... PRIMARY SENSORS OPERATIONAL. SECONDARY 
SENSORS ARE OFFLINE. | AM UNABLE TO ESTABLISH 
VISUAL CONFIRMATION. 


[151631.1257] <DRC> | copy that. Activate your secondary sensors 
anyway just to double check. You still have decent power reserves 
for that, correct? 


[151631.1271] <PH9> AFFIRMATIVE. SECONDARY SENSORS 
ARE NOW ONLINE. | AM UNABLE TO ESTABLISH VISUAL 
CONFIRMATION STILL. 


[151631.1285] <DRC> Copy. Looks like your signal is coming from 
the next quadrant over. Give me an ETA and reroute vectors. 


[151631.1292] <PH9> CALCULATING... | AM UPLOADING 
REROUTE VECTORS. ALSO ADJUSTING ORIENTATION TO: 
12.3°, -24.9°. ETA IN: 399 HRS. AWAITING CLEARANCE, DEEP 
RECON. 


[151631.1299] <DRC> These numbers look good. You are cleared 


to change course. Send an update when you make visual contact. 
Also, relay the signal if you haven't done so already. 


[151631.1302] <PH9> AFFIRMATIVE. 


At this point, Investigator Geoffrey Davies stops reading and looks 
up at Chief Technician Officer Isaac Miles sitting across from him. 
Miles, looking a bit worn for wear, quietly sips his synthetic coffee 
while picking at the frayed Foundation patch on his uniform. 


"So... you didn't immediately notify command that one of the Al 
probes detected an SOS signal in unexplored space?" 


Miles inhales sharply to start. "As per protocol, we need two forms of 
confirmation for signals in unexplored space before sending 
response teams in." 


"| understand that, but this was an Emergency SOS." 


"It doesn't matter, sir. Not to be contrary but the standard protocols 
for unexplored space recon don't leave any room for exceptions." 


"Yes... but according to your personal log-" Davies pulls up another 
file on both his and Miles's data register. "-you analyzed the signal 
and confirmed it was human in origin." 


"Correct." 
"So you are still going to stand by your protocols?" 


"| have to do it by the book, sir. If you have an issue with that you 
can talk to Directo-" 


Davies holds up his hand dismissively and looks back down at his 
data register. "The Director's policy is not in question here." 


He continues reading his highlighted transcripts, skipping ahead to 
the next entry of interest. 


[151635.5257] <DRC> Deep Recon to Probe-H9 


[15635.5264] <PH9> YES, DEEP RECON? 


[151635.5271] <DRC> | have long range visual on you and plotting 
your current course. You entered your destination's quadrant 
roughly an hour ago. | need a report. 


[151635.5278] <PH9> | AM UNABLE TO ESTABLISH VISUAL 
CONFIRMATION. ETA IN: 4.2 HRS.