Special Containment Procedures: Specimens of SCP-936 are to 
be kept on the grounds of Bio Research Site-104, enclosed by a 
fence to prevent unauthorised access, and watered daily. 
Approximately once a month, the plantation is to be screened for 
any SCP-936-1 by two (2) D-Class personnel of adequate physical 
ability and SCP-936-1 are to be harvested according to site plan. 


Harvested SCP-936-2 are to be incinerated if unused, can be fed to 
contained carnivores upon removal of seeds, which are to be 
incinerated. 


Following Incident 936-1, the D-class personnel performing the 
screening are to be screened thoroughly for infectious diseases, and 
are to use sterile gloves and facial filters to prevent contamination. 


Uncontained SCP-936 instances are to be dug out and any 
SCP-936-1 and SCP-936-2 incinerated. For purposes of 
containment, the Foundation is to ensure SCP-936 is declared an 
invasive species by local governments; a censored description is to 
be made public for this purpose. 


Description: SCP-936 is a species of deciduous, self-pollinating 
tree resembling Fagus sylvatica, inhabiting the region of northern 
and eastern Europe, most notably clustering around , Ukraine. 
SCP-936 is capable of forming clonal colonies, the ol[DATA 
EXPUNGED]. 


It has been shown that the roots of SCP-936 are host to nitrogen- 
fixing bacteria, similarly to the legumes - as during most of its 
lifecycle, the plant doesn't display any anomalous properties, 
checking for unusual soil nitration levels shows promise as an 


hallway, it abruptly stops. After a brief moment, the ball 
slowly rolls back against the wall the camera is facing. 
Agent _ walks into frame, presumed to be looking for 
the ball. Upon discovery of the ball, | attempts to 
recover it. He struggles for three pulls, as if the ball had 
impossible weight, before falling backwards with the ball. 
Tossing the ballin his hand, — walks back into the 
Annex. 


03/02/20 : 4:02 PM 


Technician 's face is in frame, moving the camera to 
a view directly looking into FRA4435. 's face goes 
from boredom to annoyance, demanding that whoever is 
bumping the ladder to stop, lest he punish them 
physically. 4 seconds later, 's face drops out of 
frame. No longer supported by its mechanical supports, 
the camera points downward, showing 's body. His 
head is bent at an odd angle. 


03/02/20 : 4:55 PM 


Technician is seen placing a standard "Investigation 
In Progress, Do Not Use" sticker on the door to 
FRA4435. After | walks away, the sticker falls off, 
landing in six pieces. 


03/03/20 : 2:12 AM 


The lights in FRA4435, formerly off, turn on for two 
minutes, then turn off again. Ten minutes later, the glass 
of one of the doors shatters outwards. Examination 
reveals that a bolt on one of the athletic machines failed 
catastrophically, flinging a 18kg weight through the door. 


03/03/20 :10 AM 
Non-anomalous recording 


FRA4435 is cordoned off. A thick plastic tarp blocks 
sight, but light from within shows multiple persons, 
walking around. The sounds heard of those inside 


performing a standard security examination. 
03/03/20 : 11:01 PM 


Researcher _ is the last ofa group of Researchers 
leaving the cordoned-off FRA4435. calls to the rest, 
informing them that he left something inside. _—_ returns 
inside, turning on alight. _'s silhouette can be seen 
rummaging around. At 11:05PM, _ stands up straight. 
He does not move for hours, after which he walks out 
inconspicuously. He is met by three armed guards. 


03/05/20 :1PM 


Doctors and are standing in front of the door to 
FRA4435, arguing about the lack of progress in solving 
the issues involving FRA4435. Doctor _ believes that 
the Foundation knows which specific item inside 
FRA4435 is anomalous, and that the Foundation is 
sacrificing valuable staff to test it, instead of "throwing Ds 
at it like they should". Doctor disagrees, pointing out 
that all reports show inconclusive results, meaning that 
as far as the Foundation is aware, there is nothing 
anomalous about anything inside FRA4435. 


Both of them turn to face the camera in unison. 


Sede Vacante 


To His Grace, Angelo Sodano, Dean of the College of Cardinals, 
Cardinal-Bishop of Albano, Cardinal-Bishop of Ostia, Cardinal-Priest 
of Santa Maria Nuova; 


And to His Grace, Tarcisio Bertone, Cardinal Secretary of State, 
Camarlengo of the Holy Roman Church, Secretary of the 
Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, Cardinal-Bishop of 
Frascati; 


And to His Holiness, Joseph Aloisius Ratzinger, Pontifex Emeritus; 


And to all other Cardinal-Bishops and Cardinal-Priests of the Holy 
Roman Church, Catholic and Apostolic, Militant, Penitent, and 
Triumphant; 


Know that his Royal Highness, Eugenio the Second, by the Grace of 
God, King of the Forest, Lord of the Plains, Duke of the Grand Fir 
and the Undergrowth, Count of the Swamp, Margrave of the Great 
Snow-Capped Mountain, Warden of All the Streams and Rivers, and 
Lord Protector of the Cities of Man, Defender of the Faith, greets 
you fondly and amiably, as a friend, compatriot, and brother in 
Christ. 


We have watched with great interest recent developments within the 
Church involving the departure from the Petrine Ministry of His 
Holiness, Pope Benedict XVI. While we have respectfully disagreed 
with certain doctrinal notions advanced by the Church in recent 
decades, let it be said that we hold nothing but the deepest respect 
and admiration for the Vicar of Christ, who by the time this epistle 
reaches you shall have departed the Holy Office, and trust that his 
decision to abdicate the papacy is one reached through solemn 
contemplation and prayer, and which shall ultimately prove to be in 
the best interest of the Church. 


Before we proceed with our purpose for engaging you at this time, 


we feel it appropriate that we explain ourselves; for our see has for 
some time been in partibus infidelium and out of contact with Rome, 
and those who now serve her as members of the College of 
Cardinals may not be familiar with us. Our kingdom spans the whole 
of the great forests that stretch across the northwestern regions of 
the New World (save those regions settled by man, in accordance 
with the Treaty of Alki; those we merely steward and protect for our 
subjects traveling therein.) We currently find ourselves in a state of 
suzerainty to a group of men we suspect to be allied with the Holy 
Roman Empire (a condition we hope to appeal to whomever shall 
assume the Holy Office in the coming weeks), and though certain 
rogue elements that are not worth mentioning here currently present 
slight difficulties to the execution of our office, we assure you that 
the legitimacy of our divine right to rule this nation is unimpeachable. 


We are a fox, as was our father, and his, and his, and so on unto 
Time Immemorial, but our nation is not populated only by our own 
kind. Wolves, deer, sheep and goats, cats, birds of the air and 
creatures underfoot all number among our subjects; for we accept 
all within our domain who pledge to obey the laws of our kingdom 
and keep the love of Christ in their hearts. We have a bishop and 
priests among us who have maintained the apostolic succession 
and kept the Gospel and the magisterium of the Church pure and 
true throughout the centuries, and we have recently acquired a 
genuine Bible from the men of this region, that we may verify that 
our teachings have not been in error. 


It has come to our attention that within the days and weeks to come, 
the cardinals of the Church shall convene in Rome, as they have 
done time and time again throughout history, to determine who shall 
succeed Benedict XVI in the Bishopric of Rome. It is not our intent to 
attempt to exert undue influence on the decision of this august body, 
nor to cajole it, nor attempt to speak on its behalf; we merely wish to 
make the College aware of certain facts of which, due to the 
difficulties in communication between our see and the Church, it 
may be unaware. 


There is among our nation a tiger, bearing the Christian name 
Matthew, who is bishop of our see and the chief instructor and 
advisor in religious matters to ourself. He is a tiger of humble birth, 


but great spirit and wisdom. Having been born unto a pagan family 
in the land of Hindustan, he was merely a child when he was 
captured by slave-traders and brought to the New World to be made 
the property of a man living in one of the lands excluded from our 
dominion by the Treaty of Alki. In time, he made his escape from 
bondage and found his way into our lands, whereupon our knights 
discovered him wandering lost, and he was brought before our 
father, the late Albert VI. Though we do not suffer pagans to live in 
our lands, our father believed he could be redeemed; and in time 
Matthew accepted Christ's salvation and was baptized into the 
Church. 


He was ordained to the priesthood the following summer and has 
since proven the wisest and most pious of bishops that any in our 
lands can recall having known. He has personally attended to the 
bringing up of children in the faith, and is an invaluable aid to ourself 
in ensuring that our rulings and decisions are always just and Godly. 
It is our wish to suggest that, when the College of Cardinals 
convenes presently, that Bishop Matthew the tiger be considered 
and voted upon to become Pope. 


We are aware that we ask much of the cardinals assembled, to elect 
this tiger, however much we might speak well of him, having only 
just learned of him. If we were able, we would dispatch him to Rome 
immediately so that the cardinals might learn of him better; 
unfortunately, due to the circumstances of our suzerainty, it is not 
possible for him to travel at this time. We offer, therefore, the 
following three arguments that we feel bear consideration; 


First, that the Church has elected no Pope that was not a man. 
Though we know of none in our lands who lack faith in Christ, we 
know of a few poor souls who wonder whether a church so 
dominated by one kind can truly minister to them; and surely, if there 
are nations such as ours elsewhere in the world, there must be 
many among their numbers who also have such doubts. By placing 
Bishop Matthew in the pontificate, the Church shall be able to 
demonstrate to all that, though it has not shied away from its 
traditions and its heritage, the Church is open to all, and seeks to 
minister not only to men, or to foxes, or even to tigers, but to all of 
God's creations. To show that even the humblest of creatures, born 


into heathenry and made a slave, can be reached by the Gospel and 
become the most pious of beings shall prove to one and all that the 
power of Christ knows no bounds. 


Second, that as a tiger brought up as a slave, Matthew shall be able 
to speak to the Church and to all the world to effect the abolition of 
that horrendous practice. Though the Church has fought for 
centuries to abolish that heinous act among men, it has yet done 
little to end the enslavement by man of his fellow creations. 
Galatians 3:28 states; "There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor 
free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus." There are 
many men who do not think of the sins they commit against other 
beings, because they are ignorant and do not see the spark of the 
divine within us all; the placement of this tiger upon the papal throne 
will remove the scales from their eyes. 


Third, that it has come to our attention that the Church has in recent 
years been betrayed by its own, and that a great many ordained to 
her service have brought disgrace upon the sanctity of their vows, 
violating the sixth commandment, and engaging in acts of the type 
not fit to be spoken of among Christian males. We can 
wholeheartedly assure you that such acts against nature are not 
committed among our see; and that neither Matthew, nor any of the 
priests or deacons under him, would ever engage in such deeds. As 
a tiger uninvolved in these sinful proceedings, nor tainted by 
association with any involved in their perpetration, Matthew shall no 
doubt be a powerful force in ridding the Church of such actions as 
were condemned in Romans 1:26-27. 


Again, let us solemnly assure you, on our sacred honor as king and 
as a Christian, that we do not seek to force the hand of this body or 
exert any undue influence. We simply suggest, respectfully and 
humbly, that to place upon Bishop Matthew the responsibility and 
dignity of the Petrine Ministry would be a wise choice, one which 
would benefit not only our see, but all of the Church and all of God's 
children. We trust in the wisdom of the conclave to take their own 
counsel, and to heed the judgment of the Lord, and thereby to cast 
their vote correctly. 


To this document, we do, on this, the twenty-fifth day of February, in 
the year of Our Lord Two-Thousand and Thirteen, affix our royal 


signature; 


Memo from Dr. Samesh; The above is a translation of a 
document written in Latin, found on a piece of vellum 
hidden in SCP-1845's containment habitat during a 
routine inspection. Forensic analysis indicates that it was 
written by one of the raccoons trained to write and 
function as SCP-1845-1's scribes. A full review of 
security procedures is underway to determine how 
SCP-1845-1 became aware of the current papal vacancy 
and how it intended to send this message to the College 
of Cardinals. The Foundation's liaison within the Vatican 
has confirmed that neither the outgoing pope nor any 
senior members of the College of Cardinals are aware of 
the existence of SCP-1845 or of any historical alliance 
between the Catholic Church and non-human sapient 
entities. 


Senior Staff Shenanigans 


Dr. Bright sat in the middle of the Cafeteria, the old fashioned 
computer set before him. Atop said computer was a certain statue of 
a certain monkey, which many people had tried to obtain. Around 
him stood, sat, or otherwise existed quite a large number of the 
junior staff, with a few seniors, all eyes glued to the good doctor. 


"And...save. There we go. The entirety of site 19, backed up, and 
emailed elsewhere, so if this goes as balls up as | expect it to, we 
can reboot." He sighed, and stood up. "In that case, | officially 
declare the beginning of the Staff Prank war of 2011. Whoever holds 
050 at the end of a 24 hour period will be promoted to the ranks of 
Senior Staff. | currently hold it, so y'all can start by pranking me... 
May god have mercy on all our souls." 


...And then the bomb under his chair detonated, covering the 
cafeteria with lime green paint, and incidentally blowing his legs off 
in the process. Several rooms away, research assistant Renfield 
took her fingers out of her ears and looked happily down at the 
monkey statue now gracing her new desk. 


Dmitri studied his reflection for a moment, adjusted the angle of his 
hat, then exited his quarters. The heel irons in his boots clicked on 
the linoleum floors as he walked briskly through the halls of Site 19. 
Those going about their daily business knew to stay out of the way 
when Strelnikov was about; his movements had purpose, and that 
could only mean a disaster was looming. 


Indeed it was. Renfield's office was only two floors down from his 
own. 


Before he even knew it, he was reading the nametag on her door. 
Or rather, he was reading her name amongst a list of other 
assistants who shared this office. As he kicked the door off its 
hinges, he decided it didn't really matter whose office it was. His 


boots left dents in the sheet metal as he stepped over the broken 
door and surveyed the group of cowering interns, hand resting 
casually on his holster. 


"Which ones of you is Rend Field." No answer.