D-43852: This is novel. If | could scream my 
appreciation | would. | long for that. 


==END LOG 12.1== 
« SCP-2668 | SCP-2669 | SCP-2670 » 


SCP-2670: Somebody Else's God 


Item #: SCP-2670 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: Due to the remote location of 
SCP-2670, interaction with outside personnel is unlikely. Despite 
this, SCP-2670 is to remain guarded, and unauthorized personnel 
encountering SCP-2670 are to be administered a Class B amnestic 
and turned over to the local authorities. 


Interaction with SCP-2670-1 is only to be done by Level 2/2670 
researchers or above, and all interactions are to be logged and 
recorded. SCP-2670-1 and -2 have thus far shown no hostility 
towards human beings or Earth, however, in accordance with 
Foundation Protocol ET-1 caution is required when dealing with 
extraterrestrial lifeforms of any kind, regardless of intent. 


Gift items delivered by SCP-2670-1 are to be contained within 
storage lockers at Site-56, with the security level dependent on the 
nature of the item in question. 


Amended Containment Procedures: In light of recent information 
gathered about the nature of SCP-2670-1's homeland, utmost care 
is essential when divulging information regarding Earth and 
humankind. In accordance with Foundation Protocol Paramount 
Regal, Foundation anthropologists assigned to SCP-2670 have 
created a resource of information that is allowed to be given to 
SCP-2670-1 and -2, and any personnel interacting with these 
entities is to adhere heavily to the approved information. Failure to 
do so may result (and has previously resulted) in the torture and 
massacre of likely billions of sapient entities residing within 
SCP-2670. The details of Protocol Paramount Regal are detailed 
within Addendum 2670-D. 


Description: SCP-2670 is a spatial anomaly existing above the 


in , -SCP-2670 is roughly 5m in height and 2m in 
width, although SCP-2670 is subject to fluctuations in its 
proportions. The anomaly was first documented by American 
naturalist Josiah Sneddon in 1875. His original documentation of the 
anomaly can be found in Addendum 2670-A. It was upon initial 
investigation that Sneddon encountered SCP-2670-1, and began 
documenting information gathered from SCP-2670-1 about the Most 
Glorious Earth-Bound Sovereign Empire of Xandromius Prime. 
While SCP-2670-1 and SCP-2670-2 are capable of moving freely 
through SCP-2670, human beings are not able to do so. Drone- 
based reconnaissance of the interior of SCP-2670 has ascertained 
the validity of SCP-2670-1's claims. 


SCP-2670-1 is a Class III Non-humanoid entity of indeterminate 
appearance. SCP-2670 goes by the name "His Most Humble 
Servant Ambassador of his Excellency the God-King Emperor of 
Magnificent Xandromius to the World of Our Most Glorious 
Lordships, Jeremiah Bartimeus Branderson of the House of 
Manyscot", and is an entity capable of altering its physical form at 
will, and will do so depending on a given social situation. 
SCP-2670-1 usually appears as a human male or female of varying 
ethnicity wearing currently fashionable human clothing. When 
shifting into its "relaxed state", SCP-2670-1 appears to be a 
levitating, nebulous cloud of liquid particulate matter capable of 
condensing into various shapes and items, as needed by 
SCP-2670-1. The limit to the complexity of this ability is currently 
unknown. SCP-2670-1 is additionally capable of creating minor 
spatial distortions, which it uses to view the extraterrestrial region it 
calls Xandromius. 


SCP-2670-2 is a large, vaguely humanoid robotic entity. Referred to 
as "The Most Noble and Prestigious Kill-Gore Mastiff Bloodseeker 
Champion, Right Hand to the Emperor of Magnificent Xandromius", 
SCP-2670-2 is typically inactive when SCP-2670-1 is not present. 
SCP-2670-2 first appeared from within SCP-2670 in 1892, and has 
acted as a guard to SCP-2670 in the time since. SCP-2670-2 will 
respond to questioning, but only to make emphatic statements about 
the emperor of Xandromius Prime, Xandromius, the empire, itself, 
human beings, and Earth. 


Through conversations with SCP-2670-1, it has been determined 
that both SCP-2670-1 and SCP-2670-2 originate from an 
extraterrestrial world (Xandromius) containing a structure referred to 
only as the "Spire", which allowed the inhabitants of that world to 
view other worlds over great distances in real time. At some point in 
Xandromius' past, the inhabitants discovered Earth! and became 
particularly fond of its people and cultures, so much so that the 
entire civilization began to imitate human civilization on Earth in a 
number of ways. 


Addendum 2670-A: Josiah Sneddon's Initial Observation 


On my way to return to the camp set up by the foresters, 
| came upon a most strange sight. Hanging above the 
gulch was a shimmer in the air, like a great many 
dancing crystal. From out of the shimmer came a man, 
no different from you or I, who spoke in an English 
tongue and gave me many greetings and thanks. | didn't 
rightly know from where his appreciate came, but | took 
him into my camp and let him tell his tale. 


The man, who calls himself Jeremiah, said that he 
comes from a far away place called Zan-dro-mus, a 
mysterious place where the very laws that govern nature 
are different and strange, in comparison to our own. | 
asked him to show me his world, and he said to me that 
were | to try and go there | would evaporate like water on 
a hot pan due to the inhospitable conditions. | was of 
course disappointed, being a man of natural curiosity, 
but Jeremiah was able to show me his world, through a 
mysterious looking glass he was able to conjure out of 
the thin air. | asked him how this was possible, and he 
explained it to me in no short detail, but | fear the 
explanation was lost upon me, a man of little mechanical 
background. 


Above all else, Jeremiah was very interested to hear 
about the world in which we live, about the Earth and all 
of its wonders. Having traveled far and wide, | spoke to 
him what | knew, what | have seen, and he seemed 
satisfied. He said to me that he was an ambassador from 


becomes aggressive due to pain, and demands to be 
released from chamber. Pretense for experiment is 
dropped, and subject is restrained and given medical 
attention. 

Day 7 

Subject in great pain. An average of twenty-five (25) 
tropical fire ants (Solenopsis solenopsidis) are seen to 
appear every minute on subject. Subject requires 
continuous ant removal. 

Day 8 

Subject is heavily medicated, and unconscious through 
majority of day. An average of 140 bullet ants 
(Paraponera clavata) appear on subject each minute. 
Rapid ant removal and anti-inflammatory medicine is 
necessary. 

Day 9 

[DATA EXPUNGED]. Subject and experiment are 
terminated. 


« SCP-301 | SCP-302 | SCP-303 » 


his country, a country that had a profound fondness for 
the Earth and wished to know more about it, so they 
could better emulate our cultures and likenesses. It was 
a curious request, and not one | had expected from the 
stranger, but | promised what | could and told him | 
would return with others who know more about the world 
than |. This pleased him, and he departed back through 
his shimmering entrance into our world. 


| do not know the intentions of this man, or if he speaks 
truly. | do, however, feel as if he is genuine in his 
requests, that he very much wants to learn about 
mankind and its many wonders. To what end, | cannot 
say. 


Addendum 2670-B: /nterview 05/14/1950 


The following interview was conducted by Dr. Roger Godwell on 
05/14/1946, when Dr. Godwell’s team of researchers began to 
oversee care of SCP-2670. Information regarding SCP-2670 had 
been carefully controlled in the thirty years previous, after early 
Foundation assets gained access to SCP-2670 and began 
managing all interactions with SCP-2670-1 and -2. This interview 
was conducted to ascertain the true motives of SCP-2670-1 and -2, 
and to provide a better understanding about the nature of the 
entities and the world from which they originate. 


Date: 05/14/1950 

Interviewer: Dr. R. Godwell 

Interviewee: SCP-2670-1 and SCP-2670-2 
[BEGIN LOG] 


Dr. Godwell: I'm glad you were able to meet me here, 
ambassador. It has been far too long since the last 
interaction between our peoples. 


SCP-2670-1: Yes indeed, it most undoubtedly has been, 
your grace. Fortunately, we have not been lax in our 


preparations, and have taken the utmost care in properly 
altering ourselves to better fit your most fantastic 
people's current and previous state of affairs! Please, we 
can speak of this later; | do not wish to keep you from 
speaking your beautious words into my human auditory 
receptors. They have been fashioned specifically to that 
purpose, of course. 


Dr. Godwell: Ambassador, when did your people first 
learn about the Earth, and the peoples on it? 


SCP-2670-1: Ah, what a beautiful day that was! When 
we poor, disgusting Xandromians first peered at the 
falling light in the dark skies and saw god, your grace. 
The date was, my, long before my brief but wonderful 
time in this universe, yes. The date, please, Kill-Gore 
Mastiff, for his grace. 


SCP-2670-2: The date was roughly three thousand, two 
hundred and fifty eight triumphant Earth-years previous 
to the current time, servant ambassador. 


SCP-2670-1: Yes, that is true! Thank you, Kill-Gore 
Mastiff, for this gift of knowledge to the most gracious 
doctor. Before the day of the Arrival, your grace, we 
Xandromians were a lost and wallowing people, not fit to 
step out of the seas of brine that covered our filthy world 
in those days. But the Arrival signaled the beginning of 
our most marvelous ascendance, though, please, do not 
think | would imply that any ascendance our humiliating 
peoples could muster would in any way compare to the 
gloriousness of your most paramount dominance in the 
universe. 


Dr. Godwell: | see. When you speak about the Arrival, 
what does that mean? 


SCP-2670-1: The Arrival was the day that the wonder 
and glory of your world was displayed to us, when that 
most mysterious and beautiful Spire fell into the filth of 
our seas of excrement and, no, my apologies your 


graciousness, | do not mean to use such foul words upon 
your beautiful ears. | am ashamed, please, a million 
pardons and | beg your glorious forgiveness. Kill-Gore 
Mastiff, the punishment. 


SCP-2670-2 proceeds to manifest a long, pointed 
instrument, which it then pushes quickly through the right 
temple of SCP-2670-1. This appears to cause 
SCP-2670-1 significant distress, although (likely due to 
the nature of SCP-2670-1's alien biology) does not cause 
the subject to expire. 


SCP-2670-1: See, my lord, | have sullied this meeting, | 
cannot- 


Dr. Godwell: No, ambassador, you are fine. For a 
meeting as such, one must expect unpleasantries to 
come about at some point. There will be no need for 
further punishments. 


SCP-2670-1: Thank you, dearest and most honorific 
doctor. Please, Kill-Gore Mastiff, bestow upon the doctor 
the details of the Arrival, | must recompose myself. 


SCP-2670-2: The day of the Arrival marks the beginning 
of the Xandromian calender, and the beginning of what 
the Xandromians consider their species. On the day of 
the Arrival, a cylindrical monolith composed primarily of 
silicon and carbon and of currently unknown origin 
crashed into the Xandromian Sea, resulting in significant 
changes to local biolo- 


SCP-2670-1: No, no, not that, Kill-Gore Mastiff, do not 
sully the presence of his grace with such unnecessities. 
Speak less of the Spire, and more of the Awakening. 


SCP-2670-2: The Awakening is an event that occurred 
shortly after the Arrival. The Spire allowed the native 
Xandromians to gaze upon distant worlds and create 
space-time links between them and the Spire. This, 
combined with the changes in local- excuse me, your 


grace, the magnificence of the Spire allowed the 
Xandromians to gaze upon Earth, and through 
information gathered by observing the societies and 
cultures of our greatest and most wondrous lords of 
creation, the Xandromians were able to become the 
dominant spec- excuse me. The Xandromians were able 
to better their society, in the image of the masters upon 
Earth. 


Dr. Godwell: Alright, | think that is enough for today. We 
will revisit this shortly, when you are less traumatized, 
SCP-2670-1. 


SCP-2670-1: Yes, my beautiful master, my sincerest 
thanks, my loving lord. 


[END LOG] 
Addendum 2670-C: /nformation Regarding Xandromian Society 
Date: 08/23/1946 
Interviewer: Dr. R. Godwell 
Interviewee: SCP-2670-1 
[BEGIN LOG] 


Dr. Godwell: SCP-2670-1, you have something you 
wanted to show me? 


SCP-2670-1: Yes, glorious champion lord. Behold, 
through this god-given looking hole, and gaze upon our 
testament to your society's most magnificent industry. 


SCP-2670-1 creates a spatial anomaly, roughly the width 
of the interviewing chamber wall, through which is visible 
a scene of a large, alien forest. The viewpoint pans left, 
where an extremely massive factory is seen, surrounded 
by many miles of blackened earth. Enormous sawmills 
have been created across the span of ruined forest, all of 
which pump out black smoke. Additional machines are 


seen culling through the treeline, removing the various 
plant-life with efficiency. Occasionally, large creatures 
(believed to be some kind of native animal) will get pulled 
into the machines, flaying them. The remains of these 
creatures move slowly about for a short time, before 
collapsing and being collected by additional machines. 
Further inspection of the factory shows a number of neon 
signs adorning the front and up the length of the smoke 
towers, all of which appear to be signs and 
advertisements for various American and European 
products. 


Dr. Godwell: How long has this been going on? 


SCP-2670-1: Since your glorious industrial revolution, 
when you extended the sweet hand of mercy and lifted 
our people into the realm of godhood and led us into 
knowledge and power. But there is more, see! We have 
been documenting your great global struggle, and in the 
name of your majesty we have created this for you! 


The scene changes, and what appears to be the remains 
of a large city is shown, presumed to be Xandromian in 
origin. Dark blue flames encompass much of the 
cityscape, which appears to be undergoing 
bombardment by a unseen force. Long lines of blue, 
vaguely humanoid entities are seen being marched out 
of the city by humans on horseback, all carrying what 
appear to be long, modified rifles. With a movement of 
SCP-2670-1's hand, the scene pulls back, and many 
thousands of wooden crosses are now seen situated in 
fields, upon which are many thousands of the blue 
entities, crucified. Human beings moving through the 
lines of crosses occasionally toss what appear to be 
grenades that release a dense, red smoke, melting the 
flesh tissue off of the blue entities. 


Dr. Godwell: |, uh- this is- 


SCP-2670-1: Is it not glorious, your grace? This we 
prepared for you, after watching your long presentation 


for us, and | do believe we have captured the mood 
perfectly! See here, where the humble Xandromians use 
the gases upon these innocent Heshins, yes? Much like 
the gases of your magnificent Germany, and very 
effective! See here, the crosses? Look at how they bleed 
on them! We spent such a great time studying the 
religious texts of your world, and now we display for you 
the greatest event in the history of your Christianity, 
many times over! See how thorough we have been? 
Look at the suffering, is it not magnificent? Everything in 
honor of you, our most wonderful, loving fathers! 


Dr. Godwell: | think | have seen eno-