The overall sequence of events in the lives of SCP-3324-1 instances 
are invariably very similar in the current and previous timelines. The 
most impactful symptoms of Nephrolithiasis (such as particularly 
severe bouts of lower-back pain) occur when the SCP-3324-1 
instance was doing relatively inconsequential activities in the 
previous timeline. It has therefore been theorized that SCP-3324 is 
predisposed to minimizing the impact it has on the timeline in some 
way. 


SCP-3324 has a second set of anomalous properties, discovered 
after Incident _-E. Individuals affected by this second set of 
symptoms are designated SCP-3324-2. Further details are restricted 
to personnel with Level 4 or 3/3324 clearance. 


+ Data Restricted: Level 3/3324 or Level 4 Clearance Required 


Incident -E: On 07/09/17, SCP- 
underwent an Unwrapping Event and 
accidentally referred to itself in the third 
person, enabling SCP-_ -1 to escape its 
containment chamber and flee into a nearby 
D-Class dormitory. Once inside, it killed 3 D- 
Class and injured 7 before being re-contained 
by security personnel. SCP- researchers 


have concluded that SCP- cannot 
reasonably be held responsible for the 
incident, and so no disciplinary measures will 
be taken. SCP- is currently working with 
researchers to develop ways to prevent such 
incidents in the future. 


During Incident -E,SCP- -1 appeared to choose not 
to attack D-348-6166-0040, which is unprecedented 
behavior for the object. A rigorous series of tests were 
carried out to try and determine the cause of this unusual 
behavior, to inconclusive results. However, 2 days after 
Incident -E, D-348 began to exhibit symptoms of 
kidney stones. It was then hypothesized that SCP-3324 
may have been connected to SCP-__-1's behavior. 
When it was discovered that D-348 had been scheduled 
for testing with SCP-3324 10 days in the future2, the 
current model for the object's second set of anomalous 
properties was created. SCP-3324's threat level was 
changed from @ Green to @ Blue at this time. However, 
personnel without Level 3/3324 or Level 4 Clearance are 
still to be led to believe that SCP-3324 is threat level @ 
Green. 


If an individual with access to SCP-33248 plans for an 
individual (either themselves or another) to urinate into 
SCP-3324 at some point in the future, the individual 
scheduled to use SCP-3324 becomes an instance of 
SCP-3324-2. SCP-3324-2 instances will begin to exhibit 
symptoms of kidney stones. If they are planned to use 
SCP-3324 more than 18 days in the future, they will 
begin exhibiting symptoms 18 days prior to the planned 
date. If an SCP-3324-2 instance is scheduled to use the 
object less than 18 days in the future, they will begin 
exhibiting symptoms at variable times, ranging froma 
few hours after the plan is made to 2.5 days before the 
planned time. 


SCP-3324-2 instances cannot be prevented from 
urinating into SCP-3324 and passing their kidney stone 


at the planned time. Any action that would prevent this 
will be thwarted by circumstance in some way. It is 
believed that this is the result of SCP-3324 manipulating 
causality to avert a temporal paradox; if the SCP-3324-2 
instance does not pass their stone into SCP-3324 there 
will be no retrocausal agent to give them the stone in the 
first place. Attempted actions averted by SCP-3324 
include surgical removal of the kidney stone, 
confinement to a different room during the planned time, 
and killing the SCP-3324-2 instance. 


Selected Experiment Log: 
Test 17 - 07/12/17 


Subject: D-348 

Proposal: D-348 will be sedated to the point 
of unconsciousness. Agent Binney will then 
attempt to terminate D-348 with his sidearm. 
Results: On the first attempt, Agent Binney's 
sidearm jammed. Agent Binney then 
disassembled, thoroughly cleaned, and 
reassembled his weapon. On his second 
attempt, his firearm jammed again. Agent 
Binney cleaned his weapon a second time. On 
his third attempt the weapon fired successfully, 
however Agent Binney unexpectedly sneezed 
while firing causing the shot to miss D-348's 
head and hit his shoulder instead. At this point 
Dr. Thompson, SCP-3324 Lead Researcher, 
called an end to the test, and D-348 was given 
medical treatment for his wound. 

Analysis: / ended the test when | did because 
| thought that the causality affecting properties 
of SCP-3324 had been adequately 
established. However, the possibility that | 
chose to end the test at the point | did due to 
SCP-3324's influence has not escaped me. - 
Dr. Thompson. 


Test 31 - 08/25/17 


Subject: D-720-1963-4822 

Proposal: D-720 will be made into an 
SCP-3324-2 instance. He will then be exposed 
to SCP- __, which, due to the nature of its 
anomalous properties, kills 100% of individuals 
exposed to its anomalous effect. 

Results: Upon entering SCP-__'s active 
radius, D-720 triggered its active state, as is 
expected. However, shortly before the time in 
which SCP- __ was expected to terminate 
D-720, D-720 vanished for 1.42 seconds 
before reappearing. He was then vaporized in 
a manner typical of those exposed to SCP- 

9 days later, at the planned date and time, 
SCP-3324 was laid on a table in a testing 
chamber equipped with tachyon detectors and 
high speed cameras. D-720 manifested for 
1.42 seconds in the testing chamber. His pants 
and underpants manifested on the floor 
approximately .5 meters behind him. An 
estimated 2 milliliters of urine came out of his 
penis and landed in SCP-3324. At the same 
time, D-720's kidney stone emerged at high 
speed through the skin of the lower-left portion 
of his torso and landed in SCP-3324. Greatly 
elevated tachyon emissions were measured 
during this period. 

Analysis: Well, looks like 3324 isn't quite the 
miracle causality armor we hoped it was, but it 
still has tremendous potential. Heck, what 
happened to D-720 is only a little bit worse 
than what was going to happen to him anyway. 
- Dr. Thompson. 


SCP-3324 was recovered from the _ fraternity house at the 
University of . Fraternity member Jeffrey B became an 
SCP-3324-1 instance during a hazing ritual in which he was made to 
urinate on and then clean various objects. The following day he 
discussed his feeling of having two sets of memories on social 
media, to try and determine if anyone else had had a similar 


experience. Several friends reported that they, too, remembered 
certain events two ways. A Foundation webcrawler flagged the 
exchange as a probable indicator of anomalous activity, leading to 
the recovery of the item. 


+ Open Communication Record, 10/03/17 


From: 
operations.administration@foundation.scp 
To: laura.luthersdottir@foundation.scp 
Subject: Details on a new experimental 
procedure. 

You will be urinating into SCP-3324 4 weeks 
from now, as will all other members of MTF 
Upsilon 10. You all have been granted Level 
3/3324 clearance to understand the purpose 
for this. The field utility of SCP-3324 will be 
tested in your upcoming operation. 


Good luck soldier, and drink plenty of fluids. 


Footnotes 

1. Individuals who are already instances of SCP-3324-1 or 
SCP-3324-2, or who are currently suffering from non-anomalous 
kidney stones are unaffected. 

2. D-Class personnel had been selected for testing with SCP-3324 
at random prior to a testing policy change 2 weeks earlier. 

3. Tentatively defined as "an individual in a position where they can 
obtain and use SCP-3324 more or less 'on demand.” 


SCP-3325: Live Entertainment 


Item #: SCP-3325 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3325 is contained on-site, 
surrounded by the existing perimeter fence, and guarded by a team 
of no fewer than 4 security personnel. As the structure exists ina 
remote location, no additional security measures are necessary. 


Specimens of SCP-3325-1 are contained in large animal 
containment cells at Research Sector- . Each cell is outfitted with an 
audio recording device. Instances are fed twice daily with raw meat. 
All instances are hostile and must be tranquilized if direct interaction 
is necessary. 


Resources have been allocated, and personnel assigned, to 
facilitate the identification and retrieval of all subjects involved with 
SCP-3325. Efforts to locate the equipment and documents 
associated with SCP-3325-1 production are ongoing. 


Description: SCP-3325 is an abandoned facility associated with 
Real Characters Industries, located in [REDACTED]. The site 
consists of a recording studio, several subterranean laboratories, 
living quarters, storerooms, an incinerator, and containment areas. 
The administrative sections of the structure are located on the first 
floor, above ground level, with a helipad present on the roof. The 
recording studio is located on the ground floor. Below ground level 
are three floors containing laboratories, research facilities, and 
containment areas. 


SCP-3325-1 instances are biologically-engineered organisms 
resembling puppets or costumed subjects, designed with the 
intention of being featured in children's television programs. 1 
SCP-3325-1 are hostile and aggressive to humans and other 
unrelated organisms. SCP-3325-1 lack nociception, and will 


continue to pursue a target even if severely injured. However, these 
organisms are not anomalously durable, and can be terminated with 
conventional firearms. SCP-3325-1 are carnivorous, with no 
preference for any particular meat. The intelligence of SCP-3325-1 
varies, with the extent unknown. Instances do not possess 
reproductive organs, and the method by which these organisms 
were produced has not been identified. 


The behavior of these organisms is mostly unpredictable, with 
instances in containment observed to either stare at personnel for 
long periods or randomly exhibit heightened aggression. Instances 
are able to vocalize certain phrases at random intervals, although 
no actual ability to comprehend spoken language is evident. This 
process is facilitated through engineering of the larynx, vocal tract, 
and jaw muscles. Documentation of SCP-3325-1 vocabulary is 
ongoing. 


A list of known SCP-3325-1 types are listed in the document below. 
+Observation Log 3325-1 


Object Description Notes 
Designation 
SCP-3325-1a Long-necked Aggressive 
avian organism | behavior patterns 
with feathers, 3 m are similar to that 
tall. Its wings are of a cassowary 
redundant; unable (Casuarius 
to facilitate flight: casuarius). 
Instances are able Instance 
to reach a speed _ frequently 
of approximately) damages its beak 


72 km/h. by running into 
objects. Color 
varies. 

SCP-3325-1b Bipedal reptilian | Observed in colors 
organism. of purple, green, 
and yellow. 


SCP-3325-1¢ Bipedal organism Observed to attack 
covered in fur, 1 min packs. Upon 
tall. Able to sprint acquiring a target, 


at speeds of an instance will 

around 60 km/h.) vocalize a random 
phrase, which 
elicits aggressive 
behavior in other 
nearby instances. 


Color varies. 

SCP-3325-1d Unknown Appearance of the 

organisms that organism is 

hides in vents. unknown; 

Object is able to} specimens have 

secrete and yet to be obtained. 

project a corrosive 

fluid. 


SCP-3325-1e Bipedal reptilian | Constantly "sings" 
organism, 5 m tall. in a distorted 
voice. The lyrics of 
its "song" are 
unintelligible, 
presumably due to 
malformed vocal 
cords. Only one 
instance has been 


encountered. 
SCP-3325-1h Disfigured Ordinarily, 
versions of organisms 
SCP-3325-1 suffering from 
instances, such extensive 


associated with | defects would 
necrosis, missing expire shortly after 
skin, exposed birth. 

organs, tumors, 

additional limbs 

and/or organs, or 

general 

deformations. 

Appearance of 

these objects vary. 


SCP-3325 came to the attention of the Foundation when local 


SCP-429: Clockwork Teleporter 


Item #: SCP-429 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-429 is to be kept ina 
standard type 3 hazardous object isolation vault. SCP-429 is not to 
be handled unless an attempt to operate it is to be made. Care must 
be taken to avoid inadvertently touching any of SCP-429's controls. 


Description: SCP-429 is a complex device constructed of brass 
and leather designed to fit over an individual's right hand. There are 
a total of 7 controls on SCP-429: 


1. A lever that fits into the palm of the left hand. This is the main 
activation control and is depressed when the subject has 
finished setting their destination. 

2. A round dial near the location control 1 meets the main 
device. The exact function is unknown. 

3. A six sided dial at the front of the main device. This appears to 
be involved in broad location selection. 

4. Around dial in the centre of the main device. This appears to 
be involved in fine location selection. 

5. A lever across the clock face. The exact function is unknown. 

6. A dial on the side of the clock face. This alters the clock face, 
although the function in selecting destination is unknown. 

7. A switch on the side of the main body (not visible in filed 
image). Exact purpose unknown. 


Examination of SCP-429's inner construction reveals a clockwork 
mechanism, connected to the exterior controls, which drives the 
clock face. On the exact physical duplicates of SCP-429 constructed 
by The Foundation, the controls are either not connected to the 
clockwork (controls 1, 5 and 7) or simply alter the displayed time at 
varying rates (controls 2, 3, 4 and 6). 


authorities received a video transmission from an unidentified 
individual requesting help. The subject provided the location of the 
facility and reported a crisis of unknown nature. Additionally, the 
video listed in Video Log 3325-1 was sent. Agents confiscated the 
video recording and administered appropriate amnestic treatment to 
witnesses. SCP-3325 was subsequently located and investigated, 
confirming the anomalous nature of the organisms within the facility. 
At the time of discovery, SCP-3325-1 instances were roaming freely 
around the underground floors of the facility. All personnel on-site 
were found to be terminated or missing. The office of the site 
manager was emptied and sterilized of all fingerprints and evidence. 
Attempts to contact or locate the president of the corporation has 
been met with failure. All instances of SCP-3325-1 encountered on- 
site were terminated or captured (with the exception of 
SCP-3325-1d instances, which remain in the ventilation system of 
SCP-3325). 


Investigations of the subterranean laboratories? revealed 
underdeveloped specimens of SCP-3325-1 contained in tubular 
glass containers 1m in diameter and suspended in amniotic fluid. A 
number of tubes were affixed to the specimens to provide nutrients, 
oxygen, and for the removal of waste material. Slots for unidentified 
devices were also present on the containers, with the devices 
missing. Containment areas‘ consist of pens, cages, and chambers 
constructed of bullet-resistant glass. Pens containing carcasses of 
cows, chickens, and goats were also discovered. The additional 
subterranean floors, indicated to be restricted to higher-level 
personnel, consist of a conference room, several laboratories, 
research facilities, and a storage area (refer to Addendum 3325-4). 


No further information could be obtained from the site, as most of 
the documentation, reports, and equipment were missing or 
destroyed, except instances that were intentionally hidden. 


Addendum 3325-1: The following text was discovered on a 
brochure on-site, appearing to detail the goal of the organization. 
The back of the document displays two photographs. One depicts a 
child crying in the presence of a poorly-constructed puppet. The 
second photograph depicts the same child smiling and clapping his 
hands at an instance of SCP-3325-b1.