Here at the SCP Foundation, we value honest criticism from all 
members, whether you are an author or not. Obviously if you've got 
a few popular SCPs under your belt then people are more liable to 
respect you, but you don't have to be an artist to be an art critic and 
even newbies can have good advice sometimes. 


What does not go over well is when someone drops really, really 
bad advice and makes it look like it's an authoritative opinion. 
Something like: 


This is okay, but what it really needs is some cross- 
testing with SCP-173 and SCP-682 and a couple of test 
logs. You need to put in some humor to contrast the 
seriousness too, maybe have someone accidentally kill a 


bunch of researchers. 


Note: If you don't know why this is bad advice, then you really, really 
need to go back and read the guides again. 


The Outsourcer 


Closely related to the Coat-tails Rider, the Outsourcer is the same 
problem from a different direction. Rather than simply ride on others’ 
work, the Outsourcer writes the bare minimum of what's necessary 
to create a SCP, leaves it in an unpolished state, and expects the 
community to finish it for them. 


Contrary to popular belief, the SCP Foundation is not a wiki in the 
traditional sense, where every article has a dozen hands in it. We 
want to see your writing, your vision, and if you don't have a fully 
fleshed out article, then we'd prefer that you keep it to yourself until 
it's ready for prime-time. 


Signs of an Outsourcer include: 


If you have any ideas on how to improve this, feel free to 
edit it. 


As well as: 
| like that idea. Could you write that in for me? 


To reiterate: A collaborative effort is one in which one or more 
people have established a firm foundation for a concept that could 
be expanded upon within the framework that has been established. 
If you don't even have anything to stand on in the first place but you 
want others to finish it for you, that's flat out laziness. 


The Visionary 


Closely related to The Bender, The Visionary is someone who 
doesn't just want to contribute to the Foundation, but wants to do so 
in a way that no one else has done before. Writing a SCP or crafting 
a tale isn't enough; they want to go big or go broke: books, movies, 


video games, or other major projects involving multiple people, 
hundreds of hours of effort, and often times even publishing deals. 


The problem is, these are people who can't write, and these project 
proposals are their last-ditch attempt at stirring up enthusiasm after 
their first (or even first several) writing submissions are panned by 
the community. They often have little to no experience in their 
supposed field of creative expertise, have nothing other than the 
most rudimentary of teaser material if at all, and in the most blatant 
cases, don't even have a plot or story in mind; in these cases they 
may even ask for ideas. 


Now, this isn't to say that it's not possible to make off-shoot creative 
projects based on the Foundation; there is a long and storied history 
of such projects receiving — in some cases — more attention than 
the Foundation itself, such as the SCP Containment Breach 
computer game. In almost all these cases, however, there are 
skilled pilots at the helm of the projects, and they know better than to 
sell vaporware; that is, to show off their projects before they have 
anything to show. The Visionary specifically refers to individuals who 
are quite blatantly simply talking the talk in order to draw attention to 
themselves (and away from their lack of writing ability). 


More to Come! 


SCP-560: Bitwise Amoeba 


Item #: SCP-560 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-560 is to be kept on a 
Foundation archival-quality optical storage medium atleast GBin 
size. This medium should be accessed at least once per month 
using the stand-alone desktop computer within SCP-560's 
containment unit. After the computer ceases to function, the medium 
should be placed in a shock-proof case, specification - - 

Pursuant to Foundation secure-wipe protocols, the blank drive 
should be discarded through civilian avenues and replaced with a 
wipe-ready drive from Site- Research. Testing on workstations with 
any network access or removable media other than SCP-560's 
storage unit is prohibited by Level 4 order. 


Description: SCP-560 is a single digital lifeform of indeterminate 
origin. Viewed through a binary or hex editor, SCP-560 appears as a 
pattern of bits which travels through the data structure of the storage 
medium it occupies. Analysis of SCP-560's bit structure is ongoing. 


SCP-560 behaves similarly to certain kinds of malicious software. 
Before the Foundation's discovery of the lifeform in , amateur 
researchers on the message boards had discovered a pattern 
in appearances of the creature's spent data, attributing it toa 
particularly prolific virus. Rather than administer amnestics, 
Foundation personnel removed SCP-560 and allowed the board to 
continue their project. The message board recently celebrated the 
th anniversary of investigation into SCP-560. 


When introduced into a digital habitat, SCP-560 begins processing 
the contents of the storage medium. It is currently hypothesized that 
the lifeform metabolizes data in a manner similar to amoeba, 
engulfing data within itself and excreting corrupted images, text files, 
executables, videos, and sound files. This corruption proceeds 


SCP-V1L3-J: A VILE Machine 


Item #: SCP-V1L3-J 
Object Class: (Not) Safe (For Work) 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-V1L3-J is locked beneath 
Site-75, in a vault 10 meters under the previous lowest point of 
Site-75. SCP-V1L8-J is to be guarded by at least two members of 
MTF-Eta-10 (“See No Evil”) to ensure defense of faculty from the 
effects of SCP-V1L3. Testing has ceased on SCP-V1L3-J due to a 
unanimous Ethics Council vote to prevent exposure. 


Description: SCP-V1L3-J appears to be a standard slot machine 
adorned with pictures of various anomalies currently in Foundation 
containment, crudely drawn in a chibi! style. The machine only has 
three spinning slot sections as opposed to the typical five. The left 
and right slot contain names or designations for different anomalies 
or prominent Foundation personnel. The middle column only 
contains the letter “X”. 


SCP-V1L3-J’s anomalous effect manifests when $50 USD is slid 
into the token slot and the lever on the right side of the box is pulled 
downwards. This will cause the slots to spin, and a presumably 
random figure in the Foundation will be selected on either side. 
SCP-V1L3-J then enters a “hibernation state” in which the machine 
cannot be interacted with, and money is no longer accepted. After 
exactly 24 hours, a heavily folded paper or sheaf of papers emerges 
from the slot previously used to insert money, with handwritten 
words on the pages. 


The paper(s), now designated SCP-V1L3-J-1, contain writing 
relating to the two described entities being in a budding romantic 
relationship with each other. These stories contain classified 
Foundation locations, anomalies, and personnel. 


On the underside of the box is a note, scrawled in pen: 


Writing is hard, so have us do it for you! Here at 
Wondertainment, we understand the need for good, old- 
fashioned romance to break up the monotony of stealing 
our toys. Millions of potential combinations to pique your 
fancy and tickle your romance bone. Happy reading! 


Level 4 Clearance Required 
Addendum V1L3.1: SCP-076, SCP-073 


The halls of Site-17 High School go quiet as a 
tall, muscular boy walks out of detention. The 
more timid of the students run, while the rest 
avoid his terrifying gaze. A flurry of teachers 
rush out to try to get him back into detention, 
but back off when he removes his shirt to 
reveal his glistening, rippling muscles. Across 
the hallway, another, equally as tall and 
muscular, but kinder looking boy looks on in 
awe. 


“Who is that guy?” he says, still staring at the 
boy’s perfect 12-pack. The girl next to him 
responds in a hushed, yet excited tone, “That’s 
Able! He’s the teen heartthrob of the whole 
school. He’s such a bad boy that we are all too 
scared to ask him out though. Apparently he 
beats up any teacher who keeps him in 
detention.” 


The boy merely nods, still mesmerized by 
Able’s throbbing biceps. He slowly walks 
towards Able, causing the teen bad boy to turn 
towards him. 


“Why, who might this brave soul be? Are you 
going to try to contain me as well?” Able 
mocks, sauntering closer. “Why? | don’t think 
I’ve seen you around here. You new?” 


“Ah-uh yeah, I’m C-C-Cain, nice to meet you, 


uh, sir.” stutters the boy, practically salivating 
at the thought of Able’s creamy hamstrings. “I, 
uhh just moved here from Site-19 High 
School.” 


“Well aren’t you just a treat. Now that I’m 
looking at you, you look a bit like me.” Able 
straightens up and glares at Cain. “I’m going to 
have to punish you for that.” 


The silence in the room deepens as Able 
grabs Cain and folds him over his knee. 
Pulling down Cain’s loose jeans and revealing 
his tight ass, Able pulls his hand back and 
prepares to [DATA EXPUNGED BY ORDER 
OF O5 COUNCIL]. 


Researcher's Note: This is potentially the worst thing | 
have ever read. The colonoscopy scene went too far, 
and did it really require 203 pages? Never read this 
document without heavy amnestics. 


Addendum V1L3.2: @@|\@@@@@|@@|@, SCP-055 


Researcher Note: 


Addendum V1L3.3: SCP-3856, SCP-3856 


Researcher Lloyd stared confusedly at the 
familiar looking man standing before him. Who 
had let him in here? Lloyd was under the 
understanding that nothing dangerous was to 
be let into his cell, but this boy, no, man, 
looked delectably dangerous to him. The man 
turns around revealing a face, not unlike his 
own, but with sunglasses. 


"Who are you?" the man with the sunglasses 


asked, "And where am I?" The man looks up 
at Researcher Lloyd. "Hey, you look somewhat 
familiarand good” 


"Uhh what did you- never mind that, my name 
is Samuel Lloyd, but everyone just calls me 
Lloyd, or Researcher Lloyd. I'm an anomaly 
so... who let you in here?" 


"| was messing with you, its a bit | do every 
time. I'm also Samuel Lloyd, from another 
dimension in which we wear glasses. Most 
people call me Cool Lloyd for ease of 
communication. As for who let me in here, 
Nerd Lloyd did." 


An equally hunky, but slightly nerdier version 
of Samuel Lloyd with glasses walks through 
the door. 


"Hey, you know my designation is Glasses 
Lloyd, you're just being a jerk gaddy." 


"What the hell is going on here?" Researcher 
Lloyd yelled, still confused as to the sudden 
influx of attractive men who were identical to 
him, "Why did you gexy gentlemen come here 
for me?" 


Cool Lloyd walked up to Researcher Lloyd, 
pulling his chin up for no reason other than 
dramatic effect considering they were the 
exact same height. 


"We are gathering all of the attractive men in 
the universe. Only problem is, we are the most 
attractive men in the universe, so we are all 
going to run away together for a 
multidimensional [EXPLETIVE DELETED] 


party." 


Researcher Lloyd was going to protest. After 
all, him leaving his universe put it in danger! 
As he was about to open his mouth, Cool 
Lloyd put his finger over Researcher Lloyd's 
lips, shushing him, and signaling to Nerd/ 
Glasses Lloyd, both of them disrobing. 
Researcher Lloyd watched as the two half- 
nude men began to dance and swing [DATA 
EXPUNGED BY ORDER OF O05 COUNCIL]. 


Researcher's Note: Did... did we break it? 


Somehow, more experiments were commissioned: 
V1L3-J Experiment Log 


Footnotes 
1. An art style derived from the Japanese wordchibirumeaning “To 
wear out or make shorter.” 


SCP-001-EX-J: Records of the CKG Gathering 


Document SCP-001-EX-J contains the transcript of 
former Thing-I-U document, recovered in the Cave, 
France. The content of this document have since 
become obsolete, leading to its declassification. The 
original documentation is kept on site of discovery, with 
the pertinent part of the cave being closed off to visitors 
due to instability. Photographs of original graphic 
documentation recorded. 

Further documents related to the organization known as 
CKG (Catch,Keep,Guard) Gathering were subsequently 
discovered, and are currently being translated. 


Which thing: Thing-| Thing-I-U 
How bad thing: Not Bad Understood 


How keep thing: At least one of Thing-I must keep in hole in ground 
in Cave-llll. At least one Witch Doctor must be awake near a hole 
with Thing-I kept in. Must throw wood, leaf, bone to Thing-| to eat, or 
it die. When not in hole in ground, Thing-I| worse than mountain lion, 
Very Bad. Thing-! don't hurt by spear, axe or fist. To stop use water, 
piss, throw ground or beat with tree branch. 

Trying things on Thing-! only for Witch Doctor with wolf pelt or 
higher, need to tell Witch Doctor U_ before try. 

No piss at Thing-I unless very short. -Shaman A 


If need Thing-l, Witch Doctor O can teach how to Witch Doctor with 
wolf pelt or higher. No write how make Thing-! , no tell how make 
Thing-! to man of no wolf pelt or you sent to Very Bad duty. 


What thing is: Thing-| hot, bright thing, yellow color. Thing-I no grab 
by hand, but can move when put wood with Thing-! on it into animal 
skull. Trying show above Thing-! hot like in Thing-|, but no bright. 
Thing-I happen when wood, leaf, bone, pelt, fat touch Thing-I that 
already somewhere. Thing-| also happen when Thing-Ill hit a tree, or 


wood touch near Thing-llll. 

Water, piss, earth, slap with branch all kill Thing-I. But, Thing-I man 
must watch over - work of Witch Doctor K_ show Thing-I is what 
make Happening-| happen. 

Thing-I very useful to the Gathering - see Things Tried on Thing-l. 


How we find thing: Thing-| known to the Gathering for long time. 
But, well working way of how keep Thing-!| found by Hunter O and 
Hunter U_ of QHP-I! 'Bushwhackers' in cave of Prometheus Caves. 
Hunter O hurt after touch Thing-| with bare hand. Well working way 
used as how keep thing for Thing-I|. Hunter U and Hunter O get 
half a mammoth and two woman for exceptional service. 


Other things-| 
THINGS TRIED ON THING-| 


TRY: | 

WHO TRIED: Shaman A 

THING TRIED: Poke Thing-! with spear. 
WHAT HAPPENED: Thing-! spread on spear. 


TRY: Il 

WHO TRIED: Shaman A 

THING TRIED: Piss on spear, Poke Thing-! with spear. 
WHAT HAPPENED: Spear dry, smell like piss. Thing-| 
no spread on spear. 


TRY: Ill 

WHO TRIED: Shaman A 

THING TRIED: Piss on Thing-| 

WHAT HAPPENED: Thing-! spread on dick. Witch 
Doctor U_ chief of trying things until Shaman A_ healthy. 


TRY: Illl 

WHO TRIED: Witch Doctor U 

THING TRIED: Put meat in Thing-| 

WHAT HAPPENED: Thing-! no spread on meat. 


TRY: Ill 
WHO TRIED: Witch Doctor U 


THING TRIED: Piss on spear. Use spear to take meat 
out. 

WHAT HAPPENED: Spear dry. Spear smell like piss. 
Meat tasty, but smell like piss. 


TRY: IIIT | 

WHO TRIED: Huntsman O 

THING TRIED: Put water on spear. Put meat on spear. 
Put spear in Thing-| 

WHAT HAPPENED: Spear dry. Spear no smell like piss. 
Meat very tasty. Huntsman O now Witch Doctor O 


TRY: IM I 

WHO TRIED: Witch Doctor U 

THING TRIED: Throw hemp in Thing-| 
WHAT HAPPENED: [DATA CHISELED OUT] 


Happening-| 


On fullmoon II day since remembered Cave- 
Il no drum in morning. QHP-| "Bushwhackers" send to 
see what happen. Cave-ll found warm inside, with 
Gathering men killed and [DATA CHISELED OUT], also 
on the wall of cave. Killed men show no wound. 


Other things-ll: 


On fullmoon, IIIII | day since 
remembered, Witch Doctor O make Thing-| from nothing 
with [DATA CHISELED OUT] very quickly. Thing-| now 
said to be Understood Thing. 

S-IIII Council