This did her sudden appearance deprive 
Caught in the garden on that fateful eve 

By she who we had hoped most to deceive 

We stood shamed before the Queen of the Hive 


Then she produced under teasing banter 
Crystal wineglasses with matched decanter 
Refreshment to make our spirits revive 
Handing us glasses carved with bloom and bee 
She bade us both drink and complying we 

Fell to the spell of the Queen of the Hive 


She was determined to punish and shame 
For him to die and to me go the blame 
Against her dark magic we could not strive 
With a smile of ice she bade him stand still 
Then turned to me and commanded | kill 
With grief we obeyed the Queen of the Hive 


He stood like a statue and did not flinch 

As | smashed my wineglass against the bench 
From our struggles a thrill did she derive 

As | embedded a shard in his chest 

And a crimson bloom appeared on his breast 
In mock alarm cried the Queen of the Hive 


As her crocodile tears began to roll 

| saw that my glass on the ground was whole 
For a breath | thought he might be alive 

A drugged wine’s visions and not a spell cast 
Then | saw his corpse as they seized me fast 
So thus was revenged the Queen of the Hive 


One thought has sustained me through all my trials 
Through her accusations and secret smiles 

When it was decreed | should not survive 

She destroyed our lives but never our love 

| know we will join in heaven above 

While here alone dwells the Queen of the Hive 


Email exchange between Dr. Kate Greenaway, Lead Researcher 
SCP-3876 and Archivist Erina Carson, January 20, 2017: 


Dr. Greenaway, 


The attached poem, written on the back of an envelope, 
was attached in SCP-3876-2 along with a series of 
newspaper clippings detailing the arrest, trial, and 
conviction of one Maria Duchamp. On succeeding pages 
were a Sketch of a decanter with a set of wineglasses 
and a description of certain mind-affecting properties: 
when an individual pours an alcoholic beverage from the 
decanter into one of the wineglasses, other individuals 
who consume the beverage from one of those glasses 
will obey any spoken command of the first individual. 


We did some investigating in the database, and found 
the following: 


Anomalous Item: Crystal decanter with four matching 
wineglasses 

Location: Site-81 Anomalous ltem/Safe Object Long 
Term Storage 

Description: Ornate crystal decanter and wineglasses 
carved with an intaglio of a bee on a flower. Glasses and 
decanter will spontaneously reassemble/reform upon 
damage. 


In light of the information in 3876-2, further testing of this 
item might be in order. 


Erina Carson, Site-81 Archives 


Agreed. I'll contact the Director and see if we can get 
that item back to the Classification Department. 
-Dr. Kate Greenaway 


Found in the Journal of a Lost Naturalist 


There clinging amongst the towering green 
Where humming the birds had gifted their seed 
Clad in rainbow hues of effortless bloom 

There our prize did shine forth beneath the moon 
From far had we come to the rumored tree 

To win for ourselves its glorious fruit 


Tales had we heard of this sovereign fruit 
Hidden so deep in the depths of the green 
Drawing its power from light of the moon 
Perfumes of Eden the breath of its bloom 
For this was our quest to gather its seed 
And to the world bring the gift of the tree 


So then we stood at the base of the tree 

Pondering how we could gather its fruit 

So high up within the tangles of green 

As well it might be as far as the moon 

Then plans and then schemes in our minds did bloom 
As coveted it we in root branch and seed 


But that was not all that had taken seed 

For creepers and vines surrounded the tree 
And twined and wound all the way to the fruit 
And so up we clambered into the green 

To seize our prize in the light of the moon 
We drank deeply the scent of Eden’s bloom 


And there in our breasts did desire bloom 
Where a longing so strong had taken seed 
And shot forth a bright shoot of hunger green 
And so we devoured the blessed fruit 

Took part in the sacrament of the tree 

And were baptized in the light of the moon 


So heard we the word beneath the bright moon 
We all were apostles not yet in bloom 

But we had been given the sacred seed 

Would now carry forth the word of the tree 

And from land to land spread the holy fruit 
Impose on the world the will of the green 


Then left we the green biding next full moon 
When the gifted seed in our hearts will bloom 
In the name of the tree shall we bear fruit 


Foundation Burger 


"Goddammit, people!" shouted Manager Fred, bursting through the 
front doors of the restaurant. "Can | go out for a cup of coffee for five 
minutes without you people screwing things up?" 


"With all due respect, sir," said Hank, trying to make himself heard 
over the roar of the crowd, "we do have a coffee machine in the 
corner that..." 


"| want coffee that doesn't stand a chance of turning me into a girl, 
Hank. Not after that time you screwed up the filtration device." Fred 
slapped a bucket out from the other man's grasp. "Now stop stuffing 
your fat face with chicken and tell me what the problem is!" 


"Well, sir, for one thing, the union's banging on our door again." 


"What about this time?" groaned Fred, cramming himself into the 
office hidden in the back room. 


"They say that it's unethical of us to hire walking sacks of meat that 
hate people and would rather envelop and absorb them messily than 
serve hamburgers to them." 


"Tell ‘em that they work for free, and that we've only lost ten people 
in the last three weeks," deflected Fred, brushing a retirement notice 
from Rights off of his desk. "What else?" 


"The woman from Kansas is trying to sue us for selling 'SCP-173's 
Crunchy Mexican Tacos" that broke her husband's throat..." 


"He was clearly eating too fast!" 


"Mrs. Lambwith is suing us for serving her a Brightburger that still 
had the sexual lubricant when she plainly asked for none..." 


"That's the employee's problem, not mine." 


"And the FDA is trying to shut us down for selling products that 
contain meat derived from SCP-835," Hank concluded, pushing the 
reports onto his boss's desk. 


Fred blinked. "Look, just write up another report filled with [DATA 
EXPUNGEDJs and let 'em spend another few months trying to figure 
it out." He slammed his fist on the desk. "Are there any problems 
that don't pertain to lawsuits? Problems we can actually fix right 
now?" 


"Well," coughed Hank, looking around nervously. "We've got the 
issue of the tomatoes trying to kill Conan O'..." 


"That don't deal with lawsuits." 
"Cassy wants a pay raise!" blurted Hank. 


Fred shook his head wearily. "That'll be the sixth time in the last 
year. She's just on the bloody coffee cups. It's not like she's a 
cashier or anything. Pass on that one." 


"Speaking of cashiers, Bright managed to transfer himself to one of 
the customers. Again." 


"Fire the old body and have Gears take care of the payroll for the 
new guy. Next." 


"The county is complaining about the giant 682 statue outside 
frightening traffic away, Cain is demanding access to the building 
again, and the..." 


"Hank!" shouted Fred, jumping up and grabbing the other man by 
the collar. "Do we have any good news today! My blood pressure's 
high enough as it is, and..." 


"The Very Fine special has been a big hit with the test crowds 
without killing anyone, sir!" screamed Hank, tears in his eyes. Fred 
set him down, patting him on the head. 


"Good boy!" he exclaimed. "See, once you get to know your boss, 
you just need to tell him what he wants to hear. Keep that up!" 


"We also released the Ableburger today. It was a resounding 
SUCCESS." 


"Hank, you're sweating. What's the problem?" 


Hank took a deep breath, and blurted all at once, "SCP-231 is 
claiming her time as a fryer is cruel and unusual, Kondraki's 
butterflies have been infecting the food, and the Stairwell Burger is 
causing people to hear screaming in the women's bathroom!" 


Fred let out a deep sigh, contemplated his navel for a few moments, 
and said at length, "So a little bit of good news surrounded by 
complete chaos that we can barely contain?" Hank nodded. "Just 
another day at Foundation Burger." 


KKK 


The Agent who went by the code name Sauce Jockey beamed at 
the Head of the SCP Foundation as the logo for Foundation Burger 
ran across the end of his video. The Head was grasping at his 
temples, trying desperately to not let the red in his face show. At 
length, he spoke in a low voice. 


"So... that is your proposal for a new cover agency?" 


"Yes sir!" said Sauce Jockey, crossing his arms across his chest 
and standing up straighter. 


"Remind me to ban McDonald's food from the break room. You're 
fired." 


Agent Sauce Jockey's eyes widened for a moment. He shuffled out 
of the room, sure it was all just a joke, that the Head of the 
Foundation had loved the video. 


When he was sure he was alone, the Head pressed the intercom 
button on his desk. "Miss Jones, send a small shipment of SCP-504 
to Conan O'Brien." 


Foundation Incident Review 221-B 


SCP FOUNDATION 
DEPARTMENT OF INTERNAL 
AFFAIRS 


INCIDENT REVIEW 221-B 


Incident ID: 221-B 

Incident Type: Class-A 

Date of Incident: 08/31/ 

Location of Incident: Foundation Secure Operating Facility 221 
("Site-221") 

Casualties: 3 

Incident Status: Resolved 


THE INFORMATION CONTAINED IN THIS DOCUMENT HAS 
BEEN APPROVED FOR VIEWING BY FOUNDATION 
PERSONNEL POSSESSING LEVEL 2 SECURITY CLEARANCE 
OR HIGHER 


Overview 


Incident 221-B was a Class-A fatal security breach that occurred on 
31 August at Foundation Secure Operating Facility 221, 
colloquially known as Site-221. Much of the information available to 
the Department of Internal Affairs regarding Incident 221-B was 
extracted from security footage recorded by CCTV cameras 
throughout the facility, as no eyewitnesses survived the event itself. 
Per Foundation policy, the Department of Internal Affairs 
implemented a security lockdown of Site-221 shortly after receiving 


The entrance to the bent area of space does not allow for 
submarines to enter (though this is not a problem for human divers). 
Thus, for study of life deep within SCP-850, the Bottleship Project 
has been initiated. The aims of the project are as follows: To build a 
large submarine inside SCP-850 without disturbing SCP-850, by the 
method of carrying various parts inside and then assembling them. 


Addendum-850-2: 


The Bottleship Project has been completed. The resulting ship and 
its crew have been assigned the designation of Reconnaissance 
Task Force Omicron-6 (aka "Trilobite"). Observation of internal 
organisms is to begin. 


Addendum-850-3: 


Two major results have been thus far observed. The first is that 
SCP-850 is indeed far larger than the initial guess of 50 kilometers 
in radius. The second is that the organisms are becoming gradually 
far different from C/upea harengus and are assuming many 
ecological niches. The size seems to vary from several centimeters 
to [REDACTED], and are certainly recognizable as different species. 


Addendum-850-4: 


All signals from the Trilobite were lost. The last radar footage from 
the submarine seemed to show a [DATA EXPUNGED]. It rapidly 
moved towards the ship. In the following minute, all communication 
systems ceased function. Camera footage shows the ship being torn 
apart by large teeth and flooded with water. Analysis of camera 
footage indicates [REDACTED]. SCP-850 is pending reclassification 
to Keter. 


Addendum-850-5: 
Reclassification to Keter denied. 


« SCP-849 | SCP-850 | SCP-851 » 


reports of the incident to prevent a possible information leak and to 
suppress panic. It is now understood that this decision resulted in 
significantly higher fatalities, as site personnel were confined to the 
facility and thus unable to escape despite the incident itself posing 
little risk to external Foundation assets. An internal review of the 
Department of Internal Affairs is ongoing. 


Background 


At 3:21 PM (local time) on 31 August —_, Security Officer Carl T. 
Michelson entered Site-221's auxiliary parking lot and security booth 
as part of his predetermined patrol route. Radio check-ins between 
Michelson and Site-221's Security Control Center (colloquially 
known as "Control") occurred every five minutes in accordance with 
facility policy. At 3:25 PM, Michelson contacted Control and reported 
a 2-1, an internal radio code meaning "“all-clear". Five minutes later, 
at 3:30 PM, Michelson reported another 2-1 and proceeded down 
the south hallway towards the security elevators. He then contacted 
Control at 3:27 PM, three minutes prior to his next anticipated 
check-in. A transcript of the subsequent conversation has been 
provided below. 


Michelson: Control, this is Bravo-5. Come in. 
Control: Copy, 5. Go ahead. 


Michelson: I'm at the employee elevators in the south 
hallway now, uh...looks like there's some sort of liquid on 
the wall. Blue in color, seems to glow. Unsure of the 
source. How copy? 


Control: Copy. We see it on the cameras. Was it there 
during your previous patrol? 


Michelson: Negative. 


Control: We're dispatching a support team now. Hold 
position, await further orders. Out. 


Per Control's orders, Michelson held his position at the employee 
elevators until 3:36 PM, at which time a support team consisting of 


three additional security officers arrived. The team proceeded to 
collect a sample of the aforementioned blue liquid and removed it 
from the walls without incident. However, at 3:44 PM, Security 
Officer Kayla R. Rodriguez, conducting a patrol along the east 
hallway, contacted Control and reported a "2-9", code for a possible 
security breach. Her dialogue with Control was as follows: 


Rodriguez: Control, this is Bravo-2. 
Control: Go ahead. 


Rodriguez: We have unidentified personnel proceeding 
down the west hallway towards the security living 
quarters. Repeat, unidentified personnel in west hallway. 
2-9. Individuals appear tall, with black clothing and 
opaque face-masks. Unsure of intent or origins. 
Requesting new orders, over. 


Control: We see no such personnel on CCTV, over. 


Rodriguez: They just went past me, Control. We have a 
confirmed 2-9 here. 


Control: Copy. We're gonna, uh...we're gonna wait for 
another report before we put the site in lockdown. Can 
you link up with Bravo-5 at the employee elevators in the 
east hallway? 


Rodriguez: Affirmative. En route. 


As indicated by Control, the unidentified personnel did not appear on 
any CCTV cameras despite the path reported by Rodriguez 
suggesting they would pass by several such cameras. Internal 
communication logs taken from the control center indicate that 
Control was skeptical of Rodriguez's report and hesitated to lock the 
facility down, or even dispatch additional security teams. At 4:04 
PM, Rodriguez linked up with Michelson - by this time, the security 
team dispatched by Control to collect samples of the blue liquid had 
already left the area. 


Security Breach 


At 4:08 PM, a struggle was overheard by Rodriguez and Michelson 
inside of one of the research offices in the east hallway. 


Michelson: Control, Michelson and Rodriguez reporting 
in. 


Control: Go ahead. 


Michelson: Unidentified noises coming from one of the 
research offices in the east hallway...sounds like a 
physical altercation. Unknown aggressors. Hang on - 


Michelson approaches the office. 


Unidentified Voice: ...are you? Oh, Jesus - fuck, 
somebody help me - oh my God - [screaming] 


Rodriguez: What the fuck? We gotta go in there - 
Michelson: Control, we're moving inside.