Notes: Well, we've pieced together what 
exactly has occurred in the system, and why 
it's acting the way it is. When the GOC 
wrecked this, it was operating in FF mode - 
that is, the mode where conventional bombers 
hit the Warsaw Pact. When the GOC came in, 
the functioning mode switched to a glitchy 
halfway mode before it went completely offline. 
That's why we've got MiG-29s escorting 
Victors, and all the other bizarre behavior. It's 
going to be a while before we have our 
replacement SCP-2326-2 functioning. We've 
still got a decade or two of operating data to 
work with - with any luck, we can turn the 
whole thing off and reclassify it Safe. 


Date / /2003 (30 months after project start) 
Author: Dr. Jameson 

Notes: SCP-2326-2 construction on schedule. 
The hard part is going to be reprogramming 
the operating system - there aren't very many 
Elbrus-3 still around, and this one is like no 
variant I've ever seen. We're playing a very 
dangerous game here - randomly editing the 
process that govern an out of control nuclear 
bomber force is a gamble of last resort.1 


Date / /2008 (90 months after project start) 
Author: Dr. Samonov 

Notes: Well, SCP-2326-2 is up and running - 
thank God we found the source code in the 


archives. SCP-2326 instances see our system, 
but they won't connect. They can't verify that 
we're the actual SCP-2326-2 system and 
without that we can't change parameters or 
turn it off. We have the proper authentication 
codes and everything. Seven and half years 
and this whole effort seems to be just another 
dead end.2 


Footnotes 

1. The full source code and documentation was later recovered in 
2007. 

2. Dr. Samonov requested the use of SCP- __in the restoration of 
SCP-2326-2. Request is currently pending. 


« SCP-2325 | SCP-2326 | SCP-2327 » 


SCP-2327: Gastroesophageal Squirrels 


Item #: SCP-2327 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2327 are to be keptina 
woodland habitat in Bio-Site-34 and provided with food as specified 
by the chief zoologist assigned to SCP-2327, currently Ms E. Potter. 


Personnel entering the SCP-2327 habitat are to wear full HAZMAT 
suits to ensure no exposed skin, a precaution to prevent accidental 
activation of an SCP-2327 instance's anomalous effect. 


The population of SCP-2327 is to be kept between 15 and 20 
instances. D-class personnel are to be introduced to SCP-2327 for 
this purpose. The resulting SCP-2327-1 are to be monitored via 
esophagogastroduodenoscopy! at least twice - first after initial 
affliction to ensure successful implantation, and secondly after 35 
days to ensure expected levels of growth. It has been concluded 
that the use of antacids will cause no adverse effects so are 
permitted for use by SCP-2327-1 and are to be made available in 
the on-site D-Class infirmary. 


Description: SCP-2327 is a species of squirrel almost identical in 
appearance to the Eurasian Red Squirrel (Sciurus vulgaris). 
Individual members of SCP-2327 behave in a similar manner to 
Eurasian Red Squirrels and have identical dietary requirements. 
While usually not aggressive, members of SCP-2327 appear to 
actively attempt to bite, scratch or otherwise break the skin of their 
handlers. This is assumed to be related to their anomalous effect. 


Foundation zoologists have concluded, based on observations of 
the behaviour of and sexual dimorphism displayed by instances of 
SCP-2327 compared to non-anomalous Eurasian Red Squirrels, 
that members of SCP-2327 are gendered. However, SCP-2327 
possess no genitalia. SCP-2327 therefore do not reproduce 


sexually, instead reproducing through anomalous means. 


Within two hours of an instance of SCP-2327 piercing the skin of a 
human being (henceforth SCP-2327-1) an SCP-2327 embryo is 
implanted into their stomach lining. The mechanism by which the 
embryonic SCP-2327 is generated and enters the body of the 
stomach is currently not fully understood. Its presence has caused 
symptoms of acute gastritis in 10% of SCP-2327-1. However, all 
SCP-2327-1 instances have experienced symptoms of gastro- 
oesophageal reflux disease, including nausea, dysphagia and 
heartburn. These symptoms get worse as the SCP-2327 instance 
develops into the foetal stage, at which point it begins floating 
around the stomach of the SCP-2327-1 instance.? Interviews with 
SCP-2327-1 instances have revealed that the foetal SCP-2327 
colliding with the lining of their stomachs is 'uncomfortable, 
bordering on painful’, but a combination of antacids and painkillers 
is able to reduce the feeling. 


Gestation for SCP-2327 lasts an average of 45 days, not unlike non- 
anomalous Red Squirrels. However SCP-2327 instances are born 
with hair and open eyes, and are capable of fending for themselves 
(non-anomalous Red Squirrels do not reach this stage until around 
12 weeks). 


At 45 days old, SCP-2327 push their way through the lower 
oesophageal sphincter* of the SCP-2327-1 instances within which 
they were gestating. They then proceed to climb the oesophageal 
tract by stimulating the the pharyngeal reflex of the SCP-2327-1 
instance. In cases where the reflex has been insufficient, SCP-2327 
have attempted to climb the oesophagus using their claws. 
SCP-2327 then burst through the upper oesophageal sphincter and 
leave the SCP-2327-1 instance via the mouth. SCP-2327-1 
instances are often left with severe acid reflux and chronic irritation 
in their upper digestive system, but almost always survive the 
process. 


The birthing process has a success rate of 92%. There are various 
scenarios that end in failures that fall within three categories: 


«In 4% of cases the SCP-2327 instance became stuck in the 
oesophagus due to its claws becoming firmly attached to the 


oesophageal wall, to the extent that it becomes impossible to 
attempt to flush out the instance by drinking and eating. Instances 
able to be removed surgically, but the SCP-2327-1 instance will 
perish. 


* In 3% of cases the SCP-2327 instance is unable to locate the 
lower oesophageal sphincter and begins attacking the stomach 
itself. This causes heavy internal bleeding that inevitably leads to the 
death of both SCP-2327 and SCP-2327-1 if the instance is unable to 
be removed surgically. 


«In 1% of cases the SCP-2327 instance passes down through the 
duodenum and into the small intestines. This inevitably leads to a 
blockage, as SCP-2327 instances are unable to survive in the 
intestines. The SCP-2327-1 instance can survive if the SCP-2327 is 
removed and a colostomy carried out by a surgeon. 


Addendum 001 - AWPI: The first instance of SCP-2327 was 
discovered in the Lake District, England with a tracking beacon 
attached to its hind left paw. It was decided by Team Leader 
Graham that SCP-2327 would not be returned to the nearest site 
and that Mr Brooker, the team's amnestic-trained officer, would 
apply Class-B amnestics to the owner of SCP-2327 when he or she 
arrived to collect it. Instead it transpired that the owner of SCP-2327, 
Ms E. Potter, was part of "The Atypical Woodland Preservation 
Institute", which had been breeding SCP-2327 instances as a 
conservation effort along with several other SCP Objects. Due to 
their knowledge of and help in containing SCP-2327, along with 
SCP- ,SCP-  andAnomalous ltem#  , AWPI, along with its 
fourteen members and containment equipment, were merged into 
The Foundation. 


Footnotes 

1. An endoscopic procedure to view the digestive system down to 
the duodenum. 

2. Embryonic and foetal SCP-2327 instances are both unaffected by 
stomach acid. 

3. Interview 2327-12( // ). 

4. The bundle of muscles at the low end of the oesophagus where it 
meets the stomach 


« SCP-2326 | SCP-2327 | SCP-2328 » 


SCP-2328: The Hoarder's Son 


Item #: SCP-2328 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2328 is to be contained at 
its initial discovery site, and is not to be removed from the premises 
unless its neutralization is required. A four-person security team is to 
remain on the premises at all times and prevent any and all civilians 
from entering the containment site. All personnel are to wear 
biohazard protection suits at all times when on the premises of 
SCP-2328's containment site. 


All refuse generated by SCP-2328 is to be kept on-site for as long 
as possible in order to maintain SCP-2328's cooperation. On a 
monthly basis, all on-site refuse three months or greater in age is to 
be relocated to the nearest Foundation disposal site, catalogued, 
and either archived or disposed of based on its properties and 
frequency of generation. SCP-2328 is to be kept under the 
impression that all of its generated refuse is retained in an off-site 
storage facility. 


Description: SCP-2328 is a construct resembling a Caucasian male 
human, approximately 18 to 21 years of age and 1.8 meters in 
height. It appears to be dressed in a green plastic containment suit 
and a black gas mask, with no exposed skin save for the portions of 
its face visible through its mask's eyeholes. However, radiography 
reveals that SCP-2328's containment suit, gas mask, and facial skin 
are a single fused non-removable piece, and that the interior of 
SCP-2328's containment suit is filled exclusively with household 
refuse, such as newspapers, components of traditional kitchen and 
bathroom appliances, and decaying food. It contains no detectable 
human components, save for its visible facial skin. Despite its 
nonliving composition, SCP-2328 is animate, sapient, and capable 
of speech, and is indistinguishable from a human to an unwitting 
observer. 


Household refuse, generally composed of the same types of 
materials contained within SCP-2328's suit, constantly manifests in 
random locations in the area surrounding SCP-2328. When 
SCP-2328 is outdoors or in a similarly unenclosed environment, all 
refuse it generates will manifest within 100 meters of SCP-2328 
itself; when it is inside a man-made structure, such as a house ora 
shipping container, all refuse it generates can appear anywhere 
within that structure, regardless of distance. The refuse is generated 
at an average rate of 12 m3 per day, regardless of the size of 
SCP-2328's surroundings. SCP-2328's refuse generation appears to 
be an involuntary function that SCP-2328 possesses no control 
over; however, the refuse's contents and generation rate can be 
altered based on SCP-2328's emotional state. See Discovery for 
further details. 


SCP-2328 habitually contains the refuse it produces in bags, which 
it produces continuously from the green filter on the left-hand side of 
its gas mask. However, SCP-2328 will become sullen, withdrawn, 
and generally highly uncooperative at the prospect of the refuse it 
generates and contains being disposed of or destroyed. 


SCP-2328 suffers none of the negative psychological effects 
generally associated with prolonged exposure to unclean 
surroundings. It instead experiences the opposite effect, becoming 
progressively happier as its surroundings become increasingly dirty 
and packed with the refuse it generates, and becoming depressed 
when its surroundings are cleaned. SCP-2328 also displays severe 
emotional and intellectual immaturity, and has extreme difficulty 
making even simple independent decisions. SCP-2328's willingness 
to take orders from perceived authority figures seems to outweigh its 
displeasure at the prospect of refuse removal. 


Discovery: SCP-2328's initial discovery site, a two-story house 
located in , New Jersey, is the former home of a Mr. Robert 
Vershinski. Investigation into Vershinski revealed a birth year of 
1943 and a 14-year service record in the United States Army 
(1961-1975). He was unemployed at the time of his death, with no 
known living relatives. 


Local law enforcement was dispatched to Vershinski's home in 2008 
after the refuse collected on the premises was deemed a public 


health hazard. The sole locatable inhabitant of the home, SCP-2328, 
who claimed to be Vershinski's son, was detained for police 
questioning, but was extracted by undercover Foundation personnel 
after its anomalous properties were ascertained. Interview 2328-1 
was conducted six hours after SCP-2328's extraction. 


+ Log of Interview 2328-1 


Date: //2008 
Interviewer: Dr. 
Interviewee: SCP-2328 


<Begin Log> 

Dr. : Good afternoon, SCP-2328. 
SCP-2328: Hi. 

Dr. :Howare you feeling today? 
SCP-2328: | miss my dad. 


Dr. :I'msorry to hear that, 2328. We're 
looking for him right now, so if you can answer 
any of my questions, that would be a great 
help. 


SCP-2328: Okay. 


Dr. : When was the last time you spoke with 
your father? 


SCP-2328: About three months ago. He had 
just made me take out the trash. 


Dr. _: Why had he done that? 


SCP-2328: My dad couldn't walk. He said | 
had to do it, or the house would get too full. 


Dr. : And you didn't want to, | presume. 


SCP-2328: We liked it when the house got full. 
It made us feel safe. Plus, my dad always got 
scared when | left the house, even for a little 
while. 


Dr. : What did you do when your father told 
you to take out the trash? 


SCP-2328: | did as he said, even though | 
didn't want to. It's a boy's duty to listen to his 
father. He said he was proud of me for doing it, 
even though it was hard. 


Dr. :1lsee. 


SCP-2328: The next morning, he didn't wake 
up. | tried everything, but it was too late. So | 
put him in bags and took him outside too. 


Dr. : You threw him away? 


SCP-2328: | thought he'd come back. The 
trash always comes back. 


<End Log> 


Note: The remains of an adult male matching 
descriptions of Robert Vershinski were 
recovered from the County Landfill three 
days after the logged interview. The remains 
were separated into eleven pieces and 
contained in a total of seven garbage bags, 
along with otherwise nondescript household 
refuse. 


SCP-2328 was initially contained in a standard Humanoid 
Containment Cell at Site- . While contained at Site- , SCP-2328's 
refuse generation rate increased over the course of daystoa 
measured maximum of m3 per day. Refuse generated during this 
period included aberrant and potentially dangerous objects, 
including discarded razor blades, various forms of biomedical waste, 


applied to any object, the condiment made the object incredibly 
palatable. This was seen to work on all objects it was tested on, 
including wood, stone, sand, and rotten meat. However, it does not 
change the composition of the object it is applied to. Bottle sent to 
lab for testing. 


Money entered: 1 Keichd-era Koban (the gold currency during the 
Tokugawa period.) 

SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered 

Item description: 1642.5 cups of uncooked rice, in the form of 
grains ejected from SCP-261's slot. Cleanup required 3 researchers 
and thirty-three (83) 20-pound rice bags. Rice grains reportedly 
looked "Like someone had picked them out of the mud”. D-class 
personnel reported no unusual effects upon consumption. 


Money entered: 1 Man'en-era Koban 

SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered 

Item description: 280 cups of uncooked rice, in the form of grains 
ejected from SCP-261's slot. Cleanup required 1 researcher and six 
(6) 20-pound rice bags. Rice reported to still look "dingey". D-class 
personnel reported no unusual effects upon consumption. 


Money entered: 1 Hoei-era Koban 

SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Unpowered 

Item description: One (1) Packet of "== #4" (Beckoning meat) 
containing six slabs of cooked meat from the Felis Catus. 
Specifically, the Japanese Bobtail. An illustration in the upper left 
corner depicts a beckoning cat being spit-roasted. D-class was 
initially reluctant to consume object, but was persuaded after 4 
minutes by researchers. Upon consumption, D-class personnel 
reportedly felt "lucky". No other effects noted. 


Money entered: 7000 yen