Note: Okay, we've established he's good at games. That's not why 
we're interested in him. We need to go bigger. — Dr. 


Test Log 503-4 

Test: Firearm aimed at head, point-blank range. 

Result: Sixty (60) consecutive misfires with 17 different weapons. 
Later laboratory testing determined that the weapons failed due to, 
variously, jams caused by debris, malfunctioning parts, or total 
mechanical failure. Of particular note is the final weapon used, a 
revolver [a type of weapon renowned for its reliability], which 
jammed due to a slight mechanical defect that could only be 
replicated after 254 test shots in the laboratory, and since then has 
yet to be replicated a second time, despite additional test firings. 
During Test 503-4, the revolver failed to fire eight (8) consecutive 
times. 


Test Log 503-5 

Test: “Russian Roulette” with 1 empty chamber, aimed at subject’s 
chest 

Result: Severe trauma to chest, bullet passes through center of 
heart, piercing no chambers. Rib broken. Subject survives. 

Note: Dr. has been disciplined and reassigned. Dr. _ will carry 
out further testing. — O5- . 


See Test Report 503- - for additional tests. 
« SCP-502 | SCP-503 | SCP-504 » 


peninsula, depending 
on sources. Expired 
due to starvation 
following an abnormal 
resurgence of 
memetic phenomena 
and the deaths of 
99.97% of the human 
population from 
cerebral 
haemorrhaging. 
SCP-3856-770R2 Instance was Deceased 
retroactively 
eliminated prior to 
their birth by their 
iteration of the 
Foundation, resulting 
in a successful 
negation of 
SCP-3856's effects. 
U-770R2 maintained 
societal stability until 
the year 8620, at 
which point the 
aforementioned 
Foundation adopted a 
policy of retrocausal 
containment, 
eliminating anomalies 
before they could 
appear. The device 
used to terminate 
SCP-3856-770R2 was 
removed during this 
process, and 
SCP-3856-770R2 was 
caused to have 
expired from radiation 
poisoning following 
global thermonuclear 


SCP-3856-FI7EN & } 
YUE4K 


Unknown, presumed 
upward of 5000 


War. 

Both instances fled | Extant 

their host-universes 

due to persecution 

from hostile 

anomalous 

organisations (in the 

case of -FI7EN) anda 

hostile Foundation- 

analogue (in the case 

of -YUE4K). Currently 

residing in a post- 

extinction iteration of 

Earth, and expected to 

survive together for up 

to 2 decades before 

expiring. 

Instances were Majority deceased, 
transferred en masse estimated 98 


instances from variousto U-01HF2, as an instances still living 


sources. 


effort to reduce total 
casualties. Retaliation 
from U-01HF2's 
inhabitants saw a 
large portion of the 
instances dispersed 
among adjacent 
universes — seven 
were accidentally 
killed during this 
process, moments 
after the relevant 
universes experienced 
spontaneous vacuum 
decay. 


Addendum.4: Update / /_ : Due to the low availability of Floater 
Universes, twelve of the forty-eight Researcher Lloyd instances 
currently in Foundation posession are to be shifted to the nearest 
available universes with low probability of undergoing K-Class 


Events. Apologies have been preemptively made to all involved 
parties. As a show of good faith, baseline Lloyd will be kept, with 
research into a consequence-free termination method as a Highest- 
Level priority. 


Although the actions taken are in violation of exo-universal 
regulations, the goal of maintaining veil protocols and preventing 
large-scale damage to humanity is currently considered more 
important. Due to the current parapolitical climate, the possible 
implementation of sanctions on baseline reality is considered 
unlikely at best. 


Addendum.5: Proposed update to documentation: 


Proposal Date: / / 

Designation: REV-3856-000934-F 

Summary: "Addition to SCP-3856's Special 
Containment Procedures, in light of recent events." 
Current Status: PENDING APPROVAL 


In the event that any instance of Researcher Lloyd 
manifests within baseline reality, they are to be supplied 
with standard provisions, treated with low-risk life- 
extending techniques, and promptly ejected to the 
nearest available universe. Exo-universal officials have 
agreed to monitor these transfers, but have stated that 
they are not currently able to interfere in cross- 
dimensional affairs. 


Efforts to diplomatically resolve issue MU-3856-SCT- 
LLOYD are underway, but are hampered due to 
Researcher Lloyd's position as High Juror on the Exo- 
Universal Council. 


Footnotes 

1. Dependent on his existence as an individual, though not his 
continued employment by the Foundation. Removing Researcher 
Lloyd from his post as Foundation staff has thus far failed to avert 
the associated apocalyptic event. 

2. 100% chance, no observed margin of error. 


3. Defined as a non-anomalous instance ofHomo sapiens, native to 
the relevant universe 


SCP-3857: Call of the Tropic 


SCP-3857 


Item #: SCP-3857 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3857 should be kept in a 
standard storage locker in Site-73. 


Any personnel working with SCP-3857 are to be continually 
reminded that tropical rainforests, especially the Amazon rainforest, 
are hazardous, uncomfortable to traverse, and generally unpleasant 
to delve into. Commons areas, offices and cubicles, and cars 
belonging to personnel assigned to the project are to be covered in 
posters and stickers depicting the following themes; insect bites, 
attributed to insects found in the Amazon rainforest; weather reports 
concerning the Amazon rainforest, with humidity readings 
underlined, highlighted, or bolded; or maps of cell phone coverage, 
clearly showing that cell connection is impossible in the Amazon 
rainforest. 


Personnel that show any signs of desire to explore the Amazon 
rainforest, purchase travel clothes or equipment from Abercrombie 
and Fitch, or reminisce about about the lost adventure of their 
childhoods for excessive amounts of time should be dosed with 
Class-A amnestics and transferred off project. 


Description: SCP-3857 is a black and white photograph depicting 
Theodore Roosevelt, the 26th president of the United States, 
dressed in Abercrombie and Fitch gear for a hunting expedition in 
front of an artist's depiction of an unidentified forest. The 
photograph, notably, appears to have been printed in ,or years 
after the former president's death. 


Subjects in the vicinity of SCP-3857 will begin to experience 
intrusive, recurring thoughts about the Amazon rainforest, and, 


regardless of previous thoughts on the matter, will begin to find the 
idea of exploration increasingly appealing. Many subjects will posit it 
as a means to return to their youth or childhood. 


If allowed to progress further, subjects will attempt to, by any 
reasonable means available to them, journey to the Amazon 
rainforest. Subjects will inevitably follow the path of Roosevelt's 
1913 expedition along the Roosevelt River. As most subjects are 
not prepared for the expedition, casualties are common. 


Most subjects are fairly easily dissuaded. Appeals to logical thinking, 
especially based on outlooks previously expressed by subjects, is 
generally enough to counter the effects of SCP-3857. 


Addendum 3857-1: Transcript of SCP-3857-influenced speech: 


Foreword: The following is a transcript of a speech made 
by an SCP-3857-affected personnel member to his 
colleagues. Despite having been under the influence of 
SCP-3857 for several months, the subject made a full 
recovery after treatment with amnestics. 


The amazon! The mother river! Oh, to be young again, to 
be gone from the confines of this civilized earth! To be 
free! 


Look at her here. [ Subject gestures at a black and white 
map, recently printed using company printers. Image is 
noted to be first result offered by .com's image search 
engine. | The curves! The luscious terrain, the feminine 
beauty! Does she call you, how she calls me? Does she 
ask you to reclaim your boyhood and your manhood? 


| need a team. You, , you will be our guide. You will 
use your savage roots, the inherent fire in your blood, the 
call of the wild, to lead use through the treacherous 
terrain! [ protests from are heard by the subject | 
Korean? What nonsense! 


. You will be our guard. You will defend us against 
threats from savages and wild animals, function as 


barrier between life and death, for only through proximity 
to death do we live! 


, my oldest friend. My brother, | might even say, my 
son. You will be my right hand man. In a land so 
removed from civilization, from humanity, you will be my 
spirit guide. 


[| long pause, during which most personnel return to their 
lunches] 


Oh, to live! Pass the salt, would you, ? 
Addendum 3857-2: Sample anti SCP-3857 informational poster: 
show image 


Footnotes 
1. See sample informational poster in Addendum 3857-2 
2. Formerly known as the Rio da Duvida, or the River of Doubt 


SCP-3858: Hugbox 


Item #: SCP-3858 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: Until such a time where a 
permanent containment solution has been established, Foundation 
web crawlers have been set up to detect and remove links to 
SCP-3858 on publically-visible websites. SCP-3858-A instances 
created by civilians should be confiscated and incinerated, any .Imb 
files deleted from their computer and the civilian amnesticised. 


Description: SCP-3858 is an anomalous filesharing network named 
"Hugbox", formerly available at the URL "http://beararms.right.to" 
prior to Foundation intervention. The front page of SCP-3858's 
website advertises "end-to-end organic encryption": this is believed 
to refer to the primary anomalous property of SCP-3858, where it 
converts all files submitted by the user into an anomalous format 
with extension ".Imb". 


At the time of writing, only one application known to the Foundation 
is capable of viewing .lmb files: namely the web-based client for 
SCP-3858 itself. Attempting to open .Imb files with any other 
application results in the secondary anomalous effect of SCP-3858 
manifesting: namely, the creation of multiple objects resembling 
human arms (designated SCP-3858-A) in the immediate vicinity of 
the user. The quantity of SCP-3858-A instances manifested is 
proportional to the .Imb file's size. 


SCP-3858-A instances consist of a plastic "skeleton" articulated in a 
way similar to an actual human arm, covered with human epidermal 
tissue at a thickness of 5 centimeters. They experience a large force 
of attraction towards the user that opened the .Imb file proportional 
to the distance from the user: the only known ways of stopping this 
force of attraction is by deleting the .lmb file from the computer that 
opened it, killing the user or physically destroying the SCP-3858-A 


instances. 


Recovery: SCP-3858 was initially identified by the Foundation 
following a routine investigation of suspected web-based anomalies 
by MTF Mu-5 ("Debuggers"). When attempts to trace the location of 
SCP-3858's hosting proved inconclusive, on the 9th of November, 
2015, Mu-5 specialists managed to secure temporary access to the 
root account of the host and recovered several files from other 
users’ accounts before being locked out; further attempts to 
compromise the website made by the Foundation have failed. 


Out of the multiple accounts accessed by Mu-5's task members, one 
account belonging to a user named "gcmp4" was found to contain 
no .lmb files, in contrast to every other account: Fourier analysis of 
these files and testing with D-Class subjects has shown that these 
files are similar in content and anomalous properties to .lmb files, i.e. 
when opened with an incorrect application these files cause objects 
to manifest in the physical vicinity of the user. However, SCP-3858's 
web client is incapable of previewing these files and activates their 
anomalous properties as with any other "incorrect" application. 


Addendum SCP-3858.a: Selection of files recovered from the 
"gcmp4" account 


File Name Objects Maniteste: Date of Creation 
inu_model.bdy Seventeen fur- 27 March 2008 
covered Canis 
familiaris skull models 

constructed out of 
plastic. Unlike .lmb 
files, no anomalous 
force of attraction has 
been observed to act 
on these objects. 
doggo_[WIP].bdy A singular 30 June 2008 
disembodied Canis 
familiaris head of 
similar appearance to 
the models produced 
by the 
"inu_model.bdy" file. 


Unlike those models, 
the head possesses 
all the expected 
anatomical features 
(eyes, blood vessels, 
eIc.) 

arm_patch.bdy Several detached 19 February, 2009 
human arms of 
indeterminate origin, 
again with non- 
anomalous 
physiological features. 
Like other .Imb files, 
these arms are 
anomalously attracted 
to the user who opens 
the files; unlike these 
files, the arms are 
animate, sporadically 
moving their fingers as 
if to grip an object and 
bending at the elbows. 

isolation.bdy A large bundle of 23 April, 2009 
myelin fibers and 
blood vessels. The 
object is partially 
animate and 
occasionally moves by 
sporadically 
contracting and 
expanding in the 
direction of 
movement. 

universal_donor_finishé@d/@\- solid 14 June, 2009 
composed entirely ot 
O- human blood, 
frozen at -79°C at the 
time of manifestation. 


Of note is that on the 14th of June, 2009, the Log of Anomalous 


SCP-504: Critical Tomatoes 


Item #: SCP-504 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: All seeds, plants, fruit, 
crossbreeds, and other products of SCP-504 are to be classified as 
SCP-504. SCP-504 seeds need no special containment, other than 
to prevent misuse by unauthorized personnel. Grown SCP-504 
plants and their fruit should be kept in soundproof rooms. Guards 
and researchers assigned to maturing or growing SCP-504 are to be 
equipped with radio-enabled masks which insulate non-transmitted 
sound, and are to be instructed to avoid attempts at humor. 


Description: SCP-504 is a species of tomato physically and 
genetically identical to that of the typical commercially-grown 
tomato. It was recovered in [REDACTED], Kentucky after a woman 
reported to the police that her farmer husband had been "murdered 
by his lunch". The Foundation is currently working to identify and 
destroy loose strains of SCP-504 in the surrounding commercial 
farming areas. 


When a poor attempt at humor is made verbally within human 
hearing range of SCP-504's tomatoes, they instantly accelerate to a 
speed of at least 100 miles per hour (approx. 160 kilometers per 
hour, 45 meters per second) in the direction of the sound's source. 
Only mature tomatoes, separated from their vines and less than 
10% rotted or chemically compromised, exhibit this effect once 
each. Tomatoes do not have to be physically intact, though ingested 
tomatoes are usually insulated enough from sound to prevent their 
effects before neutralization by stomach acid. 


SCP-504 tomatoes seem to reach speeds relative to the inciting 
attempt at humor (see experiment log). Relevant variables seem to 
include corniness, humor-to-length ratio, and use of puns. Language 
appears irrelevant. 


Events records a series of thirty-eight blood donations being made 
simultaneously by the same individual across the Southwestern 
United States. All official records of this event name the blood donor 
in question as "Ms. Blaise Burnham", indicating possible 
modification on the part of SCP-2586 as an attempt to conceal the 
user's identity. Further investigation is ongoing. 


SCP-3860: The Falcon's Landing 


Item #: SCP-3860 
Object Class: Euclid