Dr. Bright works for the SCP Foundation, not the Terminus 
Foundation. He does not possess a degree in psychohistory. 


1. And no Group of Interest is the "Second Foundation" 


Although "Secure Contain Protect" is an anagram of "Erotic 
Teen Cactus Porn", Dr Bright is specifically forbidden to either 
produce, or arrange to produce, any such material. 

The fact that SCP-682 regenerates all lost tissue does not 
make it an "infinite hamburgers machine". 


1. Most especially because they tasted horrible. 


Dr Bright is not allowed to use SCP-127 to place projectiles 
under his pillow for the "Tooth Fairy" to give him money. 

Dr Bright is not allowed to use SCP-—252-ARc on Fred Phelps 
any member of the Phelps family any person or organization 
affiliated with Westboro Baptist Church. 


1. Dr Bright is not allowed to attempt to "sic the Horizon 
Initiative" on the above religious organization. 


220. 


221. 


eee. 


223. 


224. 


225. 


226. 
221. 


228. 


220: 


2. Dr Bright may not request a pool of D-Class recruited 
solely from members of the above religious 
organization. 


The Manna Charitable Foundation does not host an annual 
Labor Day Telethon, and Dr. Bright is not allowed to offer the 
services of Foundation employees as performers or phone 
bank operators for such. 

Dr Bright is not allowed access to Popular Science Magazine. 
That How 2.0 section is way too dangerous for Bright to see 
now that they've shown how to create cyborg cockroaches. 
Dr. Bright is not allowed to "go on crusade". 


1. Or on "jihad". 
2. Dr. Bright is not permitted to issue fatwas against 
anyone or anything. 


Dr. Bright is no longer allowed to declare "After ten thousand 
years I'm free! It's time to conquer Earth!" upon assuming a 
new host. 

All Foundation personnel are now required to attend a 
seminar on the difference between an original idea and a 
good idea before being allowed new or continuing contact with 
Dr. Bright, Dr. Clef, or Dr. Kondraki. 

Dr. Bright does not have ten tons of gold hidden somewhere 
at Site 19. 

SCP-963 is not to be given away as a "good luck charm". 

Dr. Bright is not a wizard, no matter what he might tell you. 


1. He is not an alchemist either, and is not to be consulted 
regarding alchemical issues. 

2. Or a witch. 

3. Dr. Bright is not magic and cannot perform magic, and 
must give sufficient explanation for any actions he 
undertakes. 


Dr. Bright is not, nor has he ever been, the "Undisputed SCP 
Intercontinental Champion". 

Dr. Bright is no longer allowed to run through Site 19 any site 
while screaming "THE KETER IS LOOSE" unless it's an 
actual emergency. 


230. 


231. 


232. 


233. 


234. 


235. 


236. 


1. Claiming it's for research on the effects of social 
engineering is not an emergency. 

2. Nor is using it to clear out the areas Dr. Bright is 
otherwise restricted from entering due to reasons given 
on this list. 

3. Dr. Bright may not start referring to any persons or 
SCPs as "The Keter" in order to circumvent these rules, 
unless they are actually classified as Keter. 


Dr. Bright is not allowed to perform any tests or experiments 
utilizing the reproductive organs of any dead or living being, 
including himself. 

Dr Bright may not tell D-Class Personnel newly recruited staff 
anyone that SCP-920 will "show them to their quarters”. 
Again. We are still looking for 12 D-class Personnel who have 
disappeared in the Pyrenees. 

Dr. Bright may never attempt to ingest SCP-184 "to win a pie 
eating contest", nor any other kind of eating or drinking 
contest. 

After what happened last month, Dr. Bright is not allowed to 
watch Firefly ever again. | think most of the people involved 
(that are still alive) are still in the psychiatric ward. 


1. Dr. Bright is not a Reaver and may not handle any form 
of sharp tool unless under protection of at least two (2) 
L-3 guards armed with stun guns. 


Dr. Bright is not allowed to show D-Class new staff SCP-682 
anyone the porn he watches. Seriously, the last guy to go 
through that hell had to be put in a straightjacket! 

Dr. Bright is not allowed to come within 5 meters of any 
explosive device or detonation device. Remember what 
happened at Area- . 


1. Not even if Dr. Iceberg asks nicely 
2. Trying to "Blow Up 682" is not a valid excuse. 


Attempting to make "shadow puppets" with SCP-017 is 
forbidden. 


1. Trying to entertain SCP-053 is not a valid excuse. 


237 


238. 


239. 


240. 


241. 


242. 


243. 


244. 


245. 


246. 


247. 


248. 


. Dr. Bright is not permitted to be within thirty feet of children, 
"kids", "youngsters", "kiddies", "lads", "lasses", "bundles of 
joy", "bundles of fun", or "scoops of love" after the incident at 
[REDACTED]. Exceptions may be made in extreme cases of 
emergency. 

Dr. Bright is no longer allowed to stand in a corner and twiddle 
his thumbs. 

Dr. Bright is no longer allowed to use the words "swag" , 
"swag it", "swagginator", "swaggify", or "super swag" to define 
himself or any other person(s). 

"YOLO' is not an excuse for anything. Most especially because 
it does not apply to him. 


1. Neither is 'Why not?’. 


Dr. Bright is not allowed to order D-class personnel convince 
new personnel any personnel ask anybody ever to play a 
game of patty-cake with SCP-049. 

Dr. Bright is not allowed to ask Mr. Deeds to do any of the 
things on this list. 

Dr. Bright is not allowed to bring chocolate into a restroom Dr. 
Bright is not allowed to bring food into a restroom. 

Dr. Bright is not allowed to speak in a voice resembling a 
movie character. 


1. Dr. Bright is not allowed to reenact any movie. Even G- 
rated ones? Even G-rated ones. 


Dr. Bright is not allowed to learn cheerleader routines dress 
like a cheerleader do ANYTHING relating to the sport of 
cheerleading. 

SCP-957 is NOT a prerequisite to becoming possessed by Dr. 
Bright 

Dr. Bright is not allowed access to SCP-1197 for the purpose 
of corroborating with himself. 


1. Dr. Bright is not allowed access to SCP-1197 for the 
purpose of propositioning himself. 


As of 9/26/20 , Dr. Bright is not allowed access to any hotel 
for any reason. Site- budget does not allow for extra clean-up 


249. 


250. 


251. 


Zue. 
253. 


254. 


200. 


256. 


257. 


258. 


259. 


fees, especially not as a result of Dr. Bright's actions. 
Dr. Bright is no longer allowed to say "Everything the Bright 
touches is our kingdom" 


1. Nor is Dr. Bright is allowed to say "Everything touched 
by the holy Bright belongs to Church of Bright." 


Dr. Bright may not attempt to digitally enhance any of the 
original Star Wars movies. 

Dr. Bright is not allowed to advertise himself on online dating 
services. 

Dr. Bright is not allowed to use this list as a to-do list. 

Dr. Bright is not L. Ron Hubbard incarnate, and is not allowed 
to tell personnel otherwise. 

Dr. Bright is not Sherlock Holmes and is not allowed to say 
what he thinks a person's appearance means about them to 
any reality bending SCP. 


1. Dr. Bright is not allowed to cause a containment breach 
of any kind just so he can have a "case." 
2. Neither is he allowed to convince anyone to be Watson. 


Dr. Bright may not urge bereaved staff members to "look at 
the Bright side". 


1. Nor is he allowed to refer to any name-related puns as 
"[his] Bright ideas". 

2. Dr. Bright is not allowed to refer to any SCPs, 
Foundation resources, or personnel as his "fancy 
dancing pants". 


Dr. Bright is not allowed to use SCP-1994-J with Dr. Kain. 
Hours of actual productive research are as of yet to be 
recovered. 

Dr. Bright is no longer allowed to play chicken with members 
of any department. 

Dr. Bright is not allowed to order 'the works' from the cafeteria. 


1. Dr. Bright is also not allowed to put anything on his 'tab.' 


Dr. Bright is no longer allowed to commit "Seppuku." 


260. 


261. 


262. 


263. 


264. 


265. 
266. 


267. 


268. 


1. Even if he has an audience. 
2. Especially a captive one. 


Dr. Bright is not in possession of any of the following: A bright- 
mobile, brighterangs, a bright-claw, a bright-suit, or a 
baseball-bright. 


1. Dr. Bright is not allowed to yell "To the brightcavel". 


Dr. Bright is no longer allowed to sing "Silent Night" following 
the "All is Bright" incident 

Dr. Bright is no longer allowed to commission, produce, 
advertise, or display animated videos to containment staff 
anyone with the subject, "What Happens When You Fuck Up 
Containing SCP (insert SCP here)" 


1. NO, it is NOT educational, Bright. Not the way you show 
it. 


Dr. Bright is not allowed funding to replicate the experiments 
of Doctor Krieger from Archer. 

Dr. Bright is not allowed to try to convince personnel to 
replicate "his famous high dive into SCP-120." 


1. He is not allowed to talk about his "famous high dive 
into SCP-120." 


Dr. Bright is not to be referred to as "Rainbow Brite". 

Dr. Bright is not allowed access to infants for the purpose of 
becoming "the Baby New Year". 

Dr. Bright is not allowed to create a "The Things Dr Bright Is 
Allowed To Do At The Foundation" list by listing everything 
that isn't on this list. Just because it isn't on this list doesn't 
mean you should do it. 


1. He may however request for one to be created. 
2. He may not, however, suggest what should be on said 
list. 


Dr. Bright is not to attempt to neutralize SCP-1013 just 
because he "can do Fluttershy's stare." 


SCP-546: A Notebook 


Item #: SCP-546 
Object Class: Safe 


Special containment procedures: SCP-546 is to be contained ina 
secured lock box. Access is restricted only to Level 2 research staff 
directly assigned to SCP-546. A full log of all used sheets, date 
used, inscribed data, and subject exposed is to be kept along with 
SCP item. At no point should SCP-546 or any of the sheets leave 
the quarantine room. 


Description: SCP-546 consists of a single pad of spiral-bound, 
lined, brand note paper. SCP-546 measures 15 cm x 23 cm, and 
currently consists of 57 sheets out of the original 60. Besides its 
anomalous effects, the item has no other outstanding 
characteristics. 


When a subject inscribes on SCP-546 with any writing instrument, 
they begin to experience a cognitive breakdown. Any inscribed word 
or phrase will begin to interject itself into the subject’s speech and 
writing. The frequency of the phrase will continue to rise over the 
course of time. After approximately 24 hours, the subject is unable 
to write and speak anything else other than the phrase they had 
written down. Removal of sheets does not affect the properties of 
the item. 


Although there is serious mental distress from losing the ability to 
communicate with others, affected subjects have been shown to be 
able to continue living on with their new disability. Cognitive abilities 
are not directly affected, and subjects are able to nod and shake 
their heads in response to simple “Yes/No” questions. 


Experiment log: 


269. 


270. 


271. 


Zhe. 


273. 


274. 


275. 


276. 


cag @ 


278. 


279: 


280. 


281. 


282. 


283. 


284. 


285. 


286. 


Dr. Bright must not create an infinite logical loop to less feeble 
minded individuals. 

Dr. Bright is not "Troll Jegus", no matter how much candy corn 
he steals! 

There is no such department known as "The Bright Ideas 
Department." Furthermore, if such a department did exist, Dr. 
Bright would not be in the employ of this department. 

Dr. Bright is not allowed to throw himself through a window "to 
prove that the glass is unbreakable." for any reason 
whatsoever. 

Dr. Bright is not allowed to convince D-Class anybody to 
cough in front of scP-049 

Dr. Bright is not to request "Nazi Juice", "Dildo Gelato", or "My 
Childhood" from SCP-294. 

Dr. Bright is not allowed to use any green dyes for the 
purpose of "being creative". 

"Because reasons" will no longer be accepted as a viable 
excuse for removing ANY SCP from containment. 

Dr. Bright may not refer to anyone as a "peasant." 

Dr. Bright is not allowed to attempt to convince D-Class new 
personnel ANYONE that shouting "Bing bong, bring it on!" 
while ringing SCP-513 will negate its effect. 

Dr. Bright is not allowed to arrange gladiatorial arena combat 
between D-class, even ESPECIALLY if any SCPs are used as 
weapons. 

SCP-173 does not "just want a hug" and Dr. Bright may not 
attempt to convince anyone otherwise. 

"Because there's an alternate universe me who wouldn't do it" 
is no longer a valid reason for violating containment 
procedures. 

Dr. Bright is not allowed to attack instances of SCP-217 
claiming that "the Borg have attacked". 

Dr. Bright is not allowed access to visual or audio recordings 
of the dance craze dubbed the "Harlem Shake" anything 
deemed "viral". 

Dr. Bright is not allowed to start any drag races between D- 
classes in cars and SCP-096. 

Dr. Bright is not allowed to yell out "Immigration!" near any 
foreign personnel. 

Dr. Bright is not allowed to reenact any scene from "Pulp 


287. 
288. 
289. 
290. 


291). 
age. 


293. 


294. 


200% 


296. 


ALS 


Fiction". 

Not allowed to put a picture of a volunteer's’ his ANYBODY'S 
breasts on a monitor for the red zone of SCP-895. 

Doctor Bright is not allowed to convince new personnel 
ANYONE to "have a friendly staring contest with SCP-096." 
Dr. Bright is not allowed to open SCP-1025 on random pages 
in front of anyone. 

Dr. Bright is not allowed to dare anyone to finish SCP-1997. 
Dr. Bright is not allowed to send a Slinky down SCP-087. 

Dr. Bright is not an instance of SCP-1000, and is not allowed 
to claim otherwise. 


1. Especially not when using the body of a primate. 


Dr. Bright is not allowed to use SCP-884 for shaving 
purposes. 


1. Nor any other personal care purpose. 

2. Nor for any non-approved purpose whatsoever. 

3. Especially not for the purpose of making people doubt 
that he's not allowed to use it. 


Dr. Bright is not allowed to claim that Researcher Zyn Kiryu is 
the new "Master of Butterflies" due to her extensive work on 
butterfly-related SCP items. 


1. "King of the Booterflies" is not an inheritable title. No, 
not even if Kondraki really is dead, which, if true, Dr. 
Bright isn't cleared to know. 

2. Researcher Zyn Kiryu is also not to be referred to by Dr. 
Bright as "Queen of the Butterflies", "Mistress of the 
Butterflies", "Supreme Princess of the Butterflies", 
"Great Shepherd of the Butterflies", "Second Cousin of 
the Butterflies", or "Major Associate of the Butterflies," 
or any other grandiose title referring to butterflies. 


Dr. Bright is not allowed to tell new Foundation recruits 
fictional horror stories involving his family. 

Dr. Bright is not allowed to tell new Foundation recruits factual 
horror stories involving his family. 

He is definitely not allowed to edit the list just to mess with 


298. 
209: 


300. 


301. 


people on Tumblr. 

We do not talk about Bottle Dick. 

Especially not over the site intercom/loud speaker/mega 
phone/group chat/email, or any other device intended to 
speak to large numbers of people at the same time. 

For the love of god man, stop wrapping bows around aquafina 
bottles and sending them gift wrapped with loving sonnets on 
them. It was funny. Once. Stop. Please. Please. 

We really mean it about editing the List to mess with people 
on Tumblr. 


SCP-649-2568-J: Technicolor Geography 


Item #: SCP-649-2568 
Object Class: Keter 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP 649-2568 is to be kept in 
a standard animal containment unit. Under no circumstances is SCP 
649-2568 to be allowed to discuss geological or geographic details. 


Interviews of SCP 649-2568 should be scheduled daily, with a focus 
on any future escape attempts. All other testing involving SCP 
649-2568 requires approval from the project director.