Addendum 3411-2: On 11/22/2017, a metal coffin structure 
appeared at the former residence of the Green family, containing the 
living Samuel Green. Green had disappeared three years earlier as 
a result of exposure to an instance of SCP-3411. Upon 
manifestation, Green was observed to have lost both legs and the 
function of one eye, presumably from conditions following his 
disappearance. After the current residents of the house contacted 
police, SCP-3411 containment teams were also informed and made 
their way to the residence. 


However, due to a miscommunication between the containment 
teams, Attendant NR prematurely dosed Samuel Green with 
amnestics before he could be properly interviewed on his 
experiences. Due to this negligent act, Attendant NR has been 
formally reprimanded for their improper conduct. Further action has 
not been deemed necessary. 


Addendum 3411-3 (File 1892-EXT-DIPLOMATIC-O5/ 
Eol-2212) 


TRANSCRIPT SEALED BY 
ORDER OF 05 COMMAND 


Footnotes 

1. Although evidence suggests that instances of SCP-3411 are 
slipping through this screening process, no plans are currently in 
effect for alteration of containment procedures. 

2.| don't quite understand why contact with the O5 is necessary for 
this anomaly. Can we have some clarification on this?- Dr. Tilbark 


SCP-3412: Life in a Peaceful New World 


Item #: SCP-3412 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3412 is contained in a 
secure item storage locker in Site-19. Further requests for testing 
are to be submitted to a Level Three researcher, and are considered 
low-priority. 


Description: SCP-3412 is a CD labeled "Life in a Peaceful New 
World". Three songs are contained on the disc, the first two being 
the entirety of the album Life in a Peaceful New World' by noise 
musician Mo*Te. The untitled third song is not present on the 
original aloum, and contains several heavily modified excerpts of the 
first two songs placed throughout the track, layered over two distinct 
droning trumpets and guitar feedback. Attempts to transfer the song 
to digital storage for further analysis universally fail. 


Subjects listening to SCP-3412 become unable to perceive other 
sounds until they listen to completion. During playback, various 
types of non-anomalous centipedes will manifest in a variable but 
consistently small area where SCP-3412 is being played as dirt 
gradually covers any surface not already covered in dirt. Following 
completion of the album, all dirt manifested by SCP-3412 will 
disappear. 


Twenty minutes into the third song, a spoken word section will play 
over the instrumentation. The identity of the speaker is unknown, 
and all attempts at discerning the identity have been unsuccessful. 


+ Spoken word transcript 


I've cut out bits of my heart for invasive fish to 
eat. They flock to me as | sit by the lake, 
expecting more every dusk | return. How do | 


stop now? It would be nice if | could devour 
them instead. 


[Forty-four seconds of silence from the 
speaker. ] 


Every bit of this shell is brittle. There's no 
sense in maintenance. Youth breaks it down 
as well as experience hastily puts it in place. 
When | finish boring the hole in my bed's wall, 
where will | go from there? There will be no 
one to bear witness as my cords deafen, and 
my head fills with helium. Proselytizing is all 
that is left. A faith of nothing but nothing, and 
hoping it will reward dutifully. 


[Fifteen seconds of silence from the speaker, 
after which trumpets switch to performing 
dissonant swing music.] 


| wish | could still say | was scared. Were | to 
say | had fear for my actions, would there be 
sympathy remaining? No... no, | know. What 
does it matter for my house to rot and its 
structure to collapse if a hole is left to watch 
over the remains? For those who knew me to 
attest to my character? For my legacy as one 
who only gave, and did nothing but politely 
smile, until my teeth gave out? Who would 
continue to feast on my ligaments? A stronger 
man than | would continue to smile and be 
remembered as forgettable but dutiful. | can 
never be that man. If there is anything the 
world will remember me by, it's for what | 
never accomplished. 


[Violent coughing is heard for twelve seconds.] 


Would assertion have solved any particular 
issue? Maybe not. Even so, | wouldn't have 
left without guilt weighing on my senses. My 


next form would have been more elegant, 
perhaps. Tendons will be all the net worth | 
share with the trees outside. Bones and matter 
will be my moth's nutrients. Everything said is 
logical. | know because I've born witness to it 
before. So perhaps | — 


[Violent coughing sporadically is heard over 
the next twenty-three minutes and twelve 
seconds, followed by four minutes of silence 
from the speaker. ] 


Soon, I'll either climb up towards Hell or tunnel 
into stillbirth again. 


Incident 3412-B: On 06/11/17, during final rounds of testing to 
ascertain SCP-3412's range of effect, the portable CD player 
SCP-3412 was tested on ran out of power partway through the final 
song's spoken word section. The player's batteries were 
subsequently replaced and the test resumed; personnel affected by 
SCP-3412's auditory anomaly then reported hearing muffled sounds 
approximating fanfare music in addition to SCP-3412. 


Almost all affected personnel continued to hear these sounds until 
nine minutes after the aloum had concluded. The sole exception 
was Doctor Hyden Lear, who reported tinnitus and hearing the 
sounds of pencil scribbling for approximately 70 hours after the fact. 
Dr. Lear requested a site transfer and accompanying Class-C 
amnestics the next day, citing stress over SCP-3412. Transfer 
request was granted. 


Footnotes 
1. Only released on cassette as a limited edition release. 


SCP-3413: Irwin Shrugged 


Item #: SCP-3413 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3413 is to be monitored 
by the Foundation webcrawler program I/O Kiwi. Any uploads will 
automatically be saved to a secured Foundation server and deleted 
from the channel. Downloaded episodes are to be immediately 
reviewed by containment specialists. Individuals expressing the 
belief that any information in an SCP-3413 video was not always 
true are to be detained and interviewed. Non-Foundation personnel 
are to be administered a Class-B amnestic following interview. 


Description: SCP-3413 is a channel on the video-sharing website 
YouTube titled "Safari Dave's Wild World!!". The majority of videos 
are done in the style of a wildlife documentary, narrated by "Safari 
Dave", referred to as SCP-3413-A. Each episode focuses on a 
different animal. 


SCP-3413-A is a human male of average build, approximately 50-60 
years of age. He appears in clothes typical of an Amazonian safari, 
and speaks with an exaggerated Australian accent. As the host of 
SCP-3413, it provides information regarding the featured animal- 
including habitat, diet, and methods of survival within their own 
ecosystem. The majority of this information is accurate, however, 
occasional episodes include falsified or otherwise incorrect 
statements. 


Thirty minutes after uploading a video to SCP-3413, any incorrect 
statement contained within the video will become true. Records, 
memories, and the animals themselves will be retroactively altered 
as if the statement had not been in error. Only the memories of 
those who have watched the episode prior to this alteration will be 
unaffected. 


SCP-3413 was discovered after various personnel in Foundation 
zoological divisions noted perceived discrepancies between reality 
and their memories of reality, primarily concerning the spelling of 
"giraffe". Several researchers, including one specializing in 
ungulates, reported that the correct spelling was "girraffe". The 
affected personnel were referred to psychological counselling and 
interrogated. It was discovered that Chief Researcher had 
encountered SCP-3413 after it was shown to him by a close family 
member, and he in turn had shared it with several members of his 
department. SCP-3413 was quickly contained. 


Attached are summaries of the content of SCP-3413's videos, 
including a partial transcript of the "Q&A special". 


+ Video Logs 


Title: TROUBLE IN THE WATER!! 
CROCODILES!! 


Summary: SCP-3413-A talks about a wide 
variety of crocodiles from across the globe, 
focusing on the crushing strength of their jaws 
and in one segment imitating the sounds that 
"you would probably make if you were trapped 
in the jaws of a crocodile", which goes on for 
several minutes. 


Claimed Errors: The video states the 
common saltwater crocodile can grow to sizes 
over 7 meters in length and weigh over 

1,000 kg. Affected persons claim that this is 
significantly larger than any known crocodile, 
which tend to be 20-30 cm in length. 


Title: LARGE AND IN CHARGE!! GIRAFFES!! 


Summary: SCP-3413-A describes the African 
giraffe, focusing on its incredible size and 
informing the viewer it would "probably crush 
you to death" if it stepped on them. Much of 
the runtime observes giraffes eating leaves 


with no additional commentary. 


Claimed Errors: The video title refers to 
animals in the genus Giraffa as "giraffes". 
According to affected persons, the correct 
spelling is "girraffes", and all previous text 
documentation of girraffes has been altered to 
reflect this new spelling. For the sake of 
convenience, Foundation personnel are to use 
the generally accepted spelling outside of this 
article. 


Title: NATURE'S DEADLIEST PREDATOR!? 
CHEETAHS!! 


Summary: SCP-3413-A describes a variety of 
cheetah species, focusing on their elegance 
when attacking prey. The video features an 
11-minute long, unbroken segment in which 
SCP-3413-A observes two cheetahs devouring 
an antelope. The camera angle causes the 
back of SCP-3413-A's head and torso to 
obscure the feeding from view for the entirety 
of the sequence. SCP-3413-A is silent during 
the feeding except for occasional exclamations 
of "Would you look at that!" and "Crikey!". The 
video ends without credits. 


Claimed Errors: SCP-3413-A describes 
cheetahs as being able to run at excess of 
96.5 km/h. According to affected persons, the 
speed of an adult cheetah does not exceed 
that of an average human. 


Notes: SCP-3413-A begins the video with a 
joke, asking "Why can't you play poker in the 
jungle? There are too many cheetahs!". At 
least one Africa-based SCP containment site 
complained about their monthly poker night 
being cancelled due to unforeseen 
circumstances involving [DATA EXPUNGED}]. 


mammalian cells but lacks a nucleus or apparent genetic material. It 
should be noted that SCP-441 now reacts with aggression towards 
any personnel wearing a standard issue Foundation lab-coat. 


Patches of ground where SCP-441 has grazed begin to exhibit 
growth of SCP-441-1 after several days. SCP-441-1 resembles 
common pasture grasses (Poa, Festuca, and Lolium spp.), but 
exhibits black pigmentation. SCP-441-1 tends not to grow beyond 
small patches, but appears to have a slightly higher growth rate in 
the shadowy areas around the concrete containment wall. 


Similarly to the tissue sample of SCP-441, analysis of SCP-441-1 
has revealed a cellulose-walled cell structure identical to terrestrial 
plants but lacking in a nucleus or genetic material. 


SCP-441 shows little interest in humans, but will make eye contact 
with any staff members entering its vicinity. Following a routine 
monthly cleaning, SCP-441 showed a marked and stubborn interest 
in D-1570, a schizophrenic. On duty staff recognized this change in 
behavior and convinced D-1570 to participate in experiment 441-1 
(see below). 


Experiment Log 441-1: 


D-1570 spent a two day period living in containment with SCP-441, 
his official role assigned as “Keeper.” His duties were to groom, 
feed, and clean up after SCP-441. D-1570 was observed developing 
an extreme physical and emotional attachment to SCP-441. 
Surveillance tapes show D-1570 sometimes speaking to SCP-441, 
and other times sitting cross-legged on the ground in front of it 
silently for extended periods of time. Frequent medical examinations 
showed that D-1570’s immune system was degrading rapidly, and 
the subject perished 43 hours after first exposure. Refer to select 
transcripts below of an interview conducted with D-1570 shortly 
before his death. 


Excerpts from an audio log of Interview 441-1-a: 
<Begin Log> 
[14:52] 


Title: | FOUND BALOO!! SUN BEARS!! 


Summary: The video centers around the 
Malaysian sun bear, also known as the "honey 
bear". Sun bears are found in tropical forest 
habitats in Southeast Asia. They are smaller 
than any other bear species, highly aggressive 
when startled, and are famous for their 
tongues (which can grow up to 20-25 cm long). 
Their heads are unusually broad and heavy in 
proportion to their body, and their morphology 
indicates adaptation for extensive climbing. 


Claimed Errors: According to affected 
persons, the animal does not exist. 


Title: TROBLE (sic) IN THE WATER!! 
CROCODILES!! 


Summary: The video appears to be an earlier 
version of the first video. There is significantly 
less editing and the sound is poorly mixed, 
making it difficult to discern SCP-3413-A's 
dialogue. The most prominent difference 
between this iteration and the finished product 
is the presence of audio between SCP-3413-A 
and an unknown party, which continues after 
the video cuts to black. The following is a 
transcript of the additional audio. 


<Begin Log> 


SCP-3413-A: Was that good? | thought that 
One was really good. 


Unknown: You can drop the accent, dude. 
We're done. 


SCP-3413-A: (The rest of SCP-3413-A's 
speech has a noticeable Midwestern accent) 
Oh! Sorry. You kind of get used to doing the 


voice. (Laughter) 


Unknown: Yeah, yeah. Listen, Dave. Can | 
level with you for a second? 


SCP-3413-A: Go ahead and shoot. Well, not 
literally! (Weak laughter) 


Unknown: All the stuff you said about the 
crocodiles, like, you said there are crocodiles 
that are 20 feet long. You know none of that is 
true, right? 


SCP-3413-A: What the hell are you talking 
about? You saw them yourself, they were 
huge! 


Unknown: | know | saw- look, it's just... | used 
to live in Florida, before (Unintelligible) didn't 
look like that. They were like, salamander- 
sized. You'd wake up in the morning and there 
would be gators scurrying around in the 
bathroom. | thought that you were, like, 
showing off weird mutant crocodiles that grew 
super big off radiation or something, but then 
you said that they were all that big. That's just 
not true. 


SCP-3413-A: You're just not remembering it 
right! | know how big crocodiles are. You saw 
how big they were. My son, he used to draw 
them all the time, | remember- 


Unknown: This isn't about your kid! Sarah told 
you, (Unintelligible) you, | told you. Your son is 
wrong. Sarah's a veterinarian, for Christ's 
sake. Your son doesn't know more about 
animals than her. 


SCP-3413-A: You've never even met him. 
He's a genius. 


Unknown: You've barely- how long has it 
been since you even talked to him? Why don't 
you call him up right now and ask him if sun 
bears are real? 


(Silence) 


Unknown: Like, how old was he when 
(Unintelligible) like six, right? Maybe he 
changed his mind. 


SCP-3413-A: He's a genius. He knows 
everything about animals. He's going to runa 
zoo when he grows up- 


Unknown: When he grows up? Do you realize 
how long ago that was? He's probably got his 
own kids by now. 


SCP-3413-A: You'll see. You haven't seen the 
sun bears yet. My son loves the bears. He'll 
know exactly what they are when he sees 
them. He- 


(The video ends) 


Title: LIVE Q&A WITH SAFARI DAVE!! | 
LOVE YOU GUYS!!