The site of Incident 3669-47 is to be protected by a 20 kilometer 
perimeter. Any civilians attempting to cross the river are to be 
redirected to the ferry. Inside the perimeter, any non-authorized 
personnel are to be immediately detained and issued a Class-A 
amnesiac. 


Description: SCP-3669 is a non-fictional book entitled "Modern 
Mathematics Made Magical" by Cornelius Fastthought on October 
1st, 1963. It is 16.24 centimeters wide and 22.86 centimeters long, 
with 231 pages. The book's front cover is a deep green, with yellow 
text displaying the title and the name of the author, as well as the 
date of publishing. The back cover is entirely empty. There is no 
record of any person named Cornelius Fastthought, and there is no 
attributed publisher for SCP-3669. 


SCP-3669's primary function is teaching the reader, designated 
SCP-3669-1, how to perform mathematics more efficiently using an 
original system based around arrows pointing in 1 of 8 directions. 
The arrows can be facing up, up-right, right, down-right, down, 
down-left, left, or up-left. The significance of the directions is 
unknown. This original system will be designated SCP-3669-2. 
SCP-3669-1 have shown remarkable quickness at performing 
mathematics. SCP-3669 primarily focuses on basic arithmetic, set 
theory, and algebra, and has a short chapter in the end dedicated to 
performing calculus using its methodology. 


Testing of SCP-3669-2 by individuals who have not read SCP-3669 
invariably results in failure, as SCP-3669-2 has been proven 
logically inconsistent. SCP-3669-2 uses arrows exclusively to reach 
a numerical solution. SCP-3669-2 bears only superficial relation to 
existing forms of mathematical notation, but its methodology is 
currently unknown. No existing known operators are used. Only 
those who have read SCP-3669, or have been taught how to do it by 
SCP-3669-1 are capable of utilizing SCP-3669-2. 


When the methodology of SCP-3669-2 is used outside of theoretical 
calculations, SCP-3669-1 exhibit a green discoloration and growth of 
[REDACTED], labeled SCP-3669-3. SCP-3669-3 have exhibited the 
ability to consume and process metals, and the amount of mental 
function retained from prior to the transformation is unknown. 


Furthermore, actions that use SCP-3669-2 as the basis of their 
calculation exhibit wildly anomalous behavior that do not function 
according to existing laws of physics. The only consistent behavior 
noted in such cases are the recurrence of 86 degree angles, and 
that the behavior eventually results in the calculation's original 
desired effect. 


Addendum: 
+ Show Experiment and Incident Logs 
[EXTRANEOUS TEST RESULTS REDACTED] 


Experiment 3 
Subject: Lionel Buress, unaffected by 


SCP-3669, PhD in mathematical analysis. 
Date: /09/1996 

Procedure: Subject was shown SCP-3669-2 
performed in Experiments 1 and 2 to solve 
simple arithmetic questions. Afterwards, 
subject was given SCP-3669 and shown the 
same work again. 

Results: Initially, subject expressed confusion 
as to what the arrows were meant to convey. 
After being shown SCP-3669, subject was 
able to reproduce the same answer as 
Experiments 1 and 2. When asked if reading 
SCP-3669 he can explain SCP-3669-2 in 
standard mathematics, he looked puzzled and 
began waving his arms around while making 
references to "point to point behavior". 
Analysis: The fact that he can reproduce the 
answer is nothing new, but the fact that this 
knowledge can not be applied to conventional 
mathematics is surprising. The anomalous 
behavior of SCP-3669-2 needs to be studied 
further, but at least we can show that it is 
bijective, if not logically consistent. -Dr 


[EXTRANEOUS TEST RESULTS REDACTED] 


Experiment 16 
Subject: Sammy Bencher, SCP-3669-1, from 

, Colorado. 3 years old, illiterate. 
Date: /01/1997 
Procedure: Subject was read SCP-3669 by a 
third party and given post-graduate 
mathematics problems. 
Results: Subject was able to successfully 
complete the problems within one hour of the 
testing beginning. 
Analysis: /t even works with children. It took 
him longer to do the problem than the previous 
subjects, but the child could not even read the 
book and was still able to complete the testing. 


Further below that, deep beneath, there was 
Creation. All around us were the gilded statues 
of Saints, each linked to a church, far below 
us. The Virgin Mother herself was resplendent, 
situated atop a pedestal, the pedestal carried 
by a many-winged creature of fire. In her right 
arm, she held the Savior. In her left, a block of 
marble. She confided in me, told me of my 
purpose. Encased in the marble were the Keys 
of Heaven, the Church's Magisterium itself, the 
Authority to Commune with Saints. | was to 
take it, "free the keys", and cleanse the Church 
Militant. Then, "All will be made clear". When | 
woke up, there was a block of soap on my 
nightstand. Queer, but | do not question the 
machinations of God. Every day since that 
night has been hazy. | have worked with a 
fervor to accomplish this mission. Even to this 
moment, | have my doubts. But | am human. It 
is in my nature to doubt. If there is once thing | 
can be certain of, it is that | am a cog in God's 
plan. 


Addendum: SCP-475 approved for extensive testing with para- 
religions. 


TEST-LOG-475: LEVEL 3 CLEARANCE REQUIRED 


Note: Due to the scarcity of para-religion adherents 
under Foundation control, SCP- has been approved to 
create suitable test subjects. 


Test Subject's Religion: Roman Catholicism 

Duration: 3 Minutes 

Results: Water transmuted into mixture of olive oil and 
balsam, consistent with the Chrism oil employed in 
various Catholic rituals. Stigmata manifested in subject's 
hands. 


-Dr 


Experiment 17 
Subject: Tammy Birch, SCP-3669-1, from 

, England. 
Date: /01/1997 
Procedure: Subject was asked to use 
SCP-3669-2 to assist in the aiming and firing 
of a torsion catapult. Subject was directed to 
hit a watermelon with precision. 
Results: Subject expressed extreme 
confusion at using SCP-3669-2 in a physical 
sense. After being encouraged by researchers, 
she eventually began using SCP-3669-2 on 
several sheets of paper. Upon completion, her 
skin began exhibiting a green discoloration, 
designated SCP-3669-3. 


Subject then began preparation to fire the 
catapult, moving it backwards 86 degrees from 
the watermelon, and aimed towards the 
ground. Subject bit the rope through as 
opposed to using the provided machete. The 
projectile launched towards the ground as 
expected, but disappeared mid motion before 
collision with the ground, reappearing above 
the watermelon, successfully completing the 
test. 


Symptoms of SCP-3669-3 remained after 
completion of the test. 

Analysis: /t seems attempting to use 
SCP-3669-2 in the assistance of physical 
calculations results in further anomalous 
behavior. It would be nice to be able to follow 
the calculations, but Dr _ insists that it is not 
safe to read SCP-3669 until we further 
understand its anomalous properties. Similar 
to SCP-3669-2 itself, however, the subject's 
methodology veered off into seemingly 


arbitrarily behavior before miraculously 
producing the intended result. -Dr 


Experiment 18 

Subject: Tammy Birch, SCP-3669-3. 

Date: /01/1997 

Procedure: Subject was interrogated 
regarding the transformation to SCP-3669-3. 
Results: Subject was shown to be 
unresponsive to language and her name. 
Neurological tests revealed growth of 
[REDACTED], suggesting severe physiological 
difference between SCP-3669-3 and typical 
human anatomy. Testing aborted as all 
methods of communication have failed. 
Analysis: From now on, all testing regarding 
SCP-3669-3 will be performed with D-Class 
personnel until we know that this is reversible. 
-Dr 


[EXTRANEOUS TEST RESULTS REDACTED] 


Experiment 24 

Subject: Perry Stone, D-Class personnel, 
SCP-3669-1. 

Date: /04/1997 

Procedure: Subject was given materials and 
asked to construct a box using SCP-3669-2 
that follows the golden ratio. 

Results: Subject expressed doubt as to 
whether or not SCP-3669-2 would even work 
in the "real world". After being reassured many 
times that it does, subject began work using 
SCP-3669-2. Upon completion, subject 
exhibited transformation to SCP-3669-3 and 
began to consume the materials provided. 


After consuming all materials, the subject 
began leaking an unknown substance from the 
eyes. Subject began shaping the liquid into a 
rectangular prism, before placing one finger 


inside the prism and rotating the prism around 
its finger. After 31 revolutions, the subject 
leaked further substance from the eyes, 
creating a lid, which it placed on the now 
hollow rectangular prism. 


The excess material excavated from the 
interior of the box, and the box itself, 
eventually solidified, at which point the subject 
stood up and attempted to exit the room. 
Subject was escorted to a room for further 
testing of SCP-3669-3. 


Chemical analysis of the box reveals its 
composition is a uniform alloy made out of all 
provided materials, weighed by the amount 
initially provided. Examination of the box 
confirms that it follows the golden ratio. 
Analysis: The most interesting part of this 
experiment is the chemical aspect of it. | 
recommend further testing of usage of 
SCP-3669-3 for creation of unique alloys. -Dr 


[EXTRANEOUS TEST RESULTS REDACTED] 


Experiment 29 

Subject: Erin Martin, SCP-3669-1, 
mathematics undergraduate, taken from ; 
California. 

Date: /06/1997 

Procedure: Subject was given a previously 


unsolved problem, , and was 
informed that it is "a standard post-graduate 
problem”. 


Results: Subject was able to come up with an 
answer. Analysis pending to determine if this is 
the correct solution to the problem. 

Analysis: Christ, if this works, we might have 
a breakthrough on our hands. -Dr 


[EXTRANEOUS TEST RESULTS REDACTED] 


Incident 3669-38 

Subject: Sarah Mclvor, accountant, 
SCP-3669-1. Viewed from security footage. 
Date: /06/1997 

Report: While attempting to purchase lunch at 
[REDACTED], , Canada, subject 
began making finger motions with her hand, 
identified as SCP-3669-2. Upon completion of 
this, subject began transformation to 
SCP-3669-3, causing visible distress to the 
other patrons of the store. An off-duty member 
of the town's volunteer watch attempted to 
apprehend the subject. 


When Foundation staff received reports of an 
individual showing symptoms of SCP-3669-3, 
the subject was detained. Everyone in the 
small community were issued Class-A 
amnesiacs, and the security footage was 
replaced with a doctored video showing a bear 
entering the establishment. 

Analysis: While not a proper experiment, this 
shows the destructive aspect of SCP-3669 
very clearly. Further steps must be taken to 
ensure that SCP-3669-2 is never used for 
solving real world problems, and | am putting 
in arecommendation to classify SCP-3669 as 
Euclid as the possibility of a containment 
breach is too high. The book was published in 
1963. Who knows how many copies are out 
there? -Dr 


[EXTRANEOUS TEST RESULTS REDACTED] 


Experiment 46 

Subject: Evan Flores, SCP-3669-1, civil 
engineer, taken from , Canada. 

Date: /06/1997 

Procedure: Subject was asked to design a 


bridge using SCP-3669-2. 

Results: Subject expressed confusion at how 
to apply SCP-3669-2 to the physical world. 
After being encouraged by researchers, 
subject created a blueprint entirely using 
SCP-3669-2 for a bridge. No diagram 
accompanied it, as the subject insisted "it 
would just work with arrows." No 
transformation to SCP-3669-3 was shown. 
Analysis: /n previous tests of SCP-3669-3 
transformation we had the subjects do the 
work and mathematics themselves. In this 
experiment, we are having one subject 
perform SCP-3669-2, and other subjects follow 
the blueprint created. Notably, the act of 
creating the blueprint did not result in a 
transformation to SCP-3669-3. -Dr 


Incident 3669-47 

Subject: Evan Flores, SCP-3669-1, civil 
engineer. A team of ten (10) D-Class 
personnel. 

Date: /06/1997 

Procedure: Subject's design from Experiment 
30 was to be constructed by a team of D-Class 
personnel, all SCP-3669-1. Construction 
materials for the creation of a standard steel 
suspension bridge were provided. 

Results: Upon arrival at the site, the D-Class 
personnel immediately began surveying the 
river. Approximately 300 seconds after being 
given this task, all members of this team 
began to exhibit a transformation to 
SCP-3669-3. 


One minute after their transformation into 
SCP-3669-3, they began waving their arms 
erratically in patterns similar to Experiment 4, 
13, and 22. Upon completing this display, 9 
instances of SCP-3669-3 began consuming 


the metal supports provided, dislocating their 
jaw upto . centimeters in order to fit their 
mouth around the entire beam. After they had 
finished, their abdominal area protruded in 
order to accommodate the — kilograms of 
metal they had each consumed. One instance 
of SCP-3669-3 stayed by the river to 
supervise. 


The SCP-3669-3 that had consumed the metal 
began scratching at the ground, creating an 
unknown bluish-silvery substance on the bank 
of the river. They then began leaking a liquid 
from their eyes which, upon contact with this 
substance, solidified into steel. As this liquid 
solidified, their abdominal area's protrusion 
shrunk down. The SCP-3669-3 continued in 
this way, creating a bridge which spiraled 
directly into the sky at a 86 degree angle 
perpendicular to the ground. They appeared at 
the other end of the river bank, as if through 
teleportation, and scratched at the ground 
again, creating more of the bluish-silvery 
substance, and creating an identical spire to 
the other side. 


Upon completion of this, all members of 
SCP-3669-3 that had consumed the metal 
simultaneously collapsed. The supervising 
member then walked up the spire on the 
researching staff's end of the river and 
disappeared upon reaching the top. Autopsy of 
the collapsed SCP-3669-3 showed ruptured 
internal organs and growth of [REDACTED]. 
Further research pending. 


Later testing revealed that one can walk on the 
spire as if it were a bridge, despite it going 
nearly straight upwards. Subjects attempting to 
climb the spire describe it as "like walking 


across an ordinary bridge" and express no 
discomfort about walking perpendicular to the 
ground. Furthermore, upon reaching the top of 
one bank's spire, they reappear at the top of 
the other bank's spire. No disappearance as 
was seen in the supervising member of 
SCP-3669-3 was discovered. 


Due to the inability to replicate or explain the 
disappearance, and the contagious nature of 
SCP-3669-1, SCP-3669 has been reclassified 
to Keter. Further testing henceforth requires 05 
approval. 


SCP-3670: Dreamed Corn 


Item #: SCP-3670 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3670 is currently 
contained in a standard Safe-Class Object Locker at Site-43. Due to 
unacceptable risk of collateral damage, testing has been suspended 
until further notice (see logs for further details). 


Description: SCP-3670 is a small, owl-shaped throw pillow. Testing 
indicates that the fur-like material which covers much of its surface 
is an unusual derivative of corn leaves, as is its stuffing. 


SCP-3670's anomalous effects occur whenever a human subject 
sleeps with their head resting on it for more than six hours. When 
the subject awakens, SCP-3670 will attempt to fulfill a desire the 
subject had immediately prior to falling asleep. This is accomplished 
via the anomalous manifestation and transportation of matter. 


To avoid the possibility of malicious requests, Researcher Srin 
Dakshinamurthy volunteered as the test subject. She agreed to the