MTF lota-10 ("Damn Freds") is to investigate any leads regarding 
possible locations of SCP-3143-A. If found, he is to be apprehended 
and taken into Foundation custody. 


Description: SCP-31 43 is an intrafictional construct. When active, 
this construct exhibits the ability to temporarily ‘flatten’ portions of 
reality into a script-like narrative. This narrative is derivative of the 
genre established by North American writers of hard-boiled and noir 
fiction’. 


During this period, SCP-3143 takes on the role of the main character 
(a 1930s private detective) hired to solve a case. All entities 
flattened by its effect become characters within the narrative 
surrounding it, exhibiting personalities and attributes typical of the 
genre's style. The narrative will continue until SCP-3143's actions 
lead to a resolution consistent with the genre; at this point, the 
narrative will conclude and reality will revert. Events which occurred 
within the narrative will be projected into reality; however, entities 
involved in these events will typically have no recollection of what 
occurred. 


SCP-3143 was first noted in 2005 in the aftermath of a containment 
breach at Site-95. In 2012, the Foundation's Pataphysics 
Department worked alongside the Department of Analytics to make 


contact with and apprehend SCP-3143. 
SCP-3143-A is Murphy Lawden, SCP-3143's author. 
Addendum 3143.1: Interview Logs 
> ACCESS SCP:/3143/interviews/001.log 
INTERVIEW LOG 


DATE: 2012/02/02 

INTERVIEWER: Dr. Thaum 

SUBJECT: SCP-3143, SCP-3143-A 

NOTE: Dr. Thaddeus Thaum is part of the 
Pataphysics Department. He has a degree in 
English Literature, and specializes in the 
analysis of fiction. 


FADE IN: 


INT. MURPHY LAW DETECTIVE AGENCY - 
NIGHT 


A light-skinned man sits alone in his office; a 
blade of moonlight cuts across his face. His 
trademark trilby hat is tossed thoughtlessly 
across his desk; a bent cigarette is nearby, left 
smoldering in an ashtray. His shirt is stained 
with blood — some of it might even be his 
own. 


He's got a slug of bourbon in his hand, a slug 
of lead buried in his chest, and 6 more waiting 
for the next son of a bitch who comes through 
that door — courtesy of his .44. 


His name is MURPHY LAW, and if you think 
his number is up, then you haven't been 
counting. He's the sort of man you pray for 
when you need him — and the sort you curse 


when you don't. 


He is also our NARRATOR. His voice is a 
husky snarl; as if he's got a throat stuffed full 
of sand-paper and rusty nails. 


NARRATOR 


If there's one thing the Foundation is 
good at, it's tying up loose ends. | 
knew it was just a matter of time 
before the lab-coats tried to shove 
me in a box. 


The door to the office flies open. An old man in 
a lab-coat enters; he's got a scowl so deep it's 
been carved down into the bone. This is DR. 
THAUM, and he's here to get to the bottom of 
this — no matter what the cost. 


NARRATOR 


But if they wanted to contain me, they 
were gonna need a bigger box. 


DR. THAUM 


Hello, SCP-3143. How are you doing, 
today? 


NARRATOR 


He wanted answers. | just wanted 
out. 


MURPHY finishes the shot of bourbon and 
levels his pistol at DR. THAUM's chest. 


MURPHY 


Give me one good reason why | 
shouldn't ventilate you right now, doc. 


DR. THAUM raises an eyebrow, folding his 
arms across his chest. 


DR. THAUM 
Because you can't. 
NARRATOR 


If he thought | didn't have the moxie 
to plug him full of lead, then he had 

another thing coming. Specifically, a 
whole lot of lead. 


DR. THAUM 


You do know that | can hear you 
narrating, right? 


NARRATOR 


What the hell was he on about? 
Something wasn't right. 


DR. THAUM 


You're an infrafictional construct; a 
sapient story that can warp reality. 
Specifically, you flatten it into a movie 
script that mimics crime-fiction and 
hard-boiled noir. 


NARRATOR 
This wasn't... what? 
DR. THAUM 


And let's be honest — it's not even 
proper noir. The defining element of 
the style is the anti-hero; the 
character with no prospects, trapped 


in a world with no future. But after 
reviewing your file, | can see that you 
don't qualify. 


MURPHY 
| don't... qualify...? 
DR. THAUM 


Your narrative is heroic and simple, 
with clear villains and heroes. In the 
end, the day is saved without 
consequence. That's not hard-boiled 
— it's certainly not noir. You're just 
fantasy escapism dressed up ina 
suit, a hat, and a drinking habit. 


MURPHY: Where — where are we? What's 
happening? 


DR. THAUM: You rely on the tropes of noir — 
outwardly rejecting the notion of appearances 
and style while secretly embracing them — 
engaging in a hyper-masculine narrative based 
around the myth of the frontier, only projected 
in an urban environment... 


MURPHY: What is this? 


DR. THAUM: ...but you fail to faithfully 
replicate their complex, dense settings where 
moral action is all but impossible. You fail to 
connect to the essence of what makes noir 
what it is. You are, in a sense, merely 
parodying it. An unintentional satire, if you will. 


SCP-3143: What's going on?! 


DR. THAUM: And on top of it all, your name is 
based on an absurdly contrived pun. 


SCP-3143: What are you doing?! 


DR. THAUM: I'm deconstructing you, 
SCP-3143. I'm containing you. 


SCP-3143: |... | don't understand... 


DR. THAUM: I'd like to speak with the author, 
please. Mr. Lawden? Are you there? 


SCP-3143-A: How...? 
DR. THAUM: Hello, SCP-3143-A. 
SCP-3143-A: Where am 1? Who am |? 


DR. THAUM: You are Murphy Lawden, a 
retired shoe-salesman from New Jersey. You 
live alone — save for your two cats. 


SCP-3143-A: I'm...? Oh, God. How did | get 
here? 


DR. THAUM: We believe you accidentally 
created an intrafictional construct. Do you 
recall a screen-play of yours? /t Always Rains? 


SCP-3143-A: |... | think so. | don't — oh, God. 


DR. THAUM: | think we've done enough for 
today, Mr. Lawden. I'll give you a chance to 
rest and settle in; we can continue this 
interview later, if that's alright with you? 


SCP-3143-A: |... yeah. Uh, yeah. Okay. Okay. 
| need to gather my thoughts. 


DR. THAUM: Of course. 
[END LOG] 


> ACCESS SCP:/3143/interviews/002.log 


INTERVIEW LOG 


DATE: 2012/02/03 
INTERVIEWER: Dr. Thaum 
SUBJECT: SCP-3143-A 


[BEGIN LOG] 


DR. THAUM: How are you feeling today, Mr. 
Lawden? 


SUBJECT: Um, a little better. | think? Still 
confused. 


DR. THAUM: Good. | understand this must all 
be quite bewildering. 


SUBJECT: So, I've just been trapped? All this 
time? Narrating, or writing this ongoing story? 
My memory of all of this is so foggy. 


DR. THAUM: Something like that, yes. We 
found an unfinished copy of your script, /f 
Always Rains. That's how we determined who 
you were. 


SUBJECT: God, | remember that. It was... 
yeah. | wanted to write, um, write a story, or 
something, | think? Something like what | read 
as a little kid? 


DR. THAUM: Somehow, you managed to 
bring the narrative to life — literally. You 
‘became’ the main character, in a sense. 


SUBJECT: Right. So... 


DR. THAUM: If it's alright with you, I'd like to 
ask you a couple of questions. 


SCP-399: Atomic Manipulation Ring 


Item #: SCP-399 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: When not being worn by a 
human being, SCP-399 is inert. SCP-399 is to be kept in a locked 
safe at Facility when notin use. Testing of SCP-399 requires Level 
4 approval and is only to be handled by personnel who have 
received a rating of "Clear" or better on Psychological Profile 
399-17. Any generators, power plants, or similar energy sources in 
the vicinity of testing are to be dedicated exclusively for testing and 
should not be used to power any other mission-essential equipment 
or facilities. 


As a result of Experiments 399-4 and 399-5, testing of SCP-399 on 
human subjects requires Level 5 approval and is to be conducted in 
isolation from other SCPs or sensitive facilities. 


Under no circumstances is SCP-399 to be tested or stored in the 
vicinity of any "free energy" or "perpetual motion" device. 


Description: SCP-399 is a ring consisting of two metallic bands 
linked by six metal bars, with six pieces of a transparent purple glass 
between them. The ring is of unknown make and bears no 
identifying stamps. 


When not being worn by a human being, SCP-399 is inert. When 
placed on a human being's finger, the ring "activates", which is 
indicated by the six glass segments beginning to glow one by one. 
In testing this process takes from three minutes to 6 hours 
dependent on the availability of nearby energy sources. Once fully 
active, the ring responds to spoken or mental commands from its 
wearer until removed, at which point it becomes inert until worn and 
re-energized. 


SUBJECT: Okay. But, uh... can | ask you 
something, first? 


DR. THAUM: Of course. 
SUBJECT: You read the script, right? 


DR. THAUM: Yes. It was required as part of 
my preparation for this assignment. 


SUBJECT: Did you, uh... did you think it was 
any good? 


(Silence.) 
SUBJECT: Uh. 


DR. THAUM: Do you want a frank 
assessment, Mr. Lawden? 


SUBJECT: Sure? 

DR. THAUM: It was fairly awful. 
SUBJECT: Oh. 

DR. THAUM: Now, moving on — 


SUBJECT: Is it okay if we do this later? | think 
| have a headache. 


(Silence.) 
SUBJECT: Look, I'm sorry. It's just that I... 


DR. THAUM: No, it's alright, Mr. Lawden. 
You've been through a lot. Take whatever time 
you need. 


[END LOG] 
> ACCESS SCP:/3143/interviews/018.log 


INTERVIEW LOG 


DATE: 2012/04/16 
INTERVIEWER: Dr. Thaum 
SUBJECT: SCP-3143-A 


[BEGIN LOG] 
DR. THAUM: Good morning, Mr. Lawden. 
SUBJECT: Ugh. 


DR. THAUM: | see from your charts you 
haven't been eating. Do you want to talk about 
that? 


SUBJECT: Not really. 


DR. THAUM: I've also been informed you've 
been trying to write more fiction about 
SCP-3143. 


SUBJECT: Until you took my pencils away. 


DR. THAUM: Mr. Lawden, that was for your 
own safety. Until we understand how the 
anomaly occurred, we can't allow you to — 


SUBJECT: Oh, screw you. You just think it's 
crap. 


DR. THAUM: | didn't say that. 


SUBJECT: But you were thinking it. Weren't 
you? 


DR. THAUM: | wouldn't call it ‘crap’. 


SUBJECT: Why did you have to stop the 
story? What was the problem? He was helping 


people. It was fun. 


DR. THAUM: That's not the point. We can't 
have anomalies running around and — 


SUBJECT: And what? Telling stories that you 
don't like? Stories that aren't yours? 


DR. THAUM: Stories that aren't — excuse 
me? 


SUBJECT: Cut the crap, doc. We both know 
what's going on here. 


DR. THAUM: I'm not sure what you're 
insinuating. 


SUBJECT: You use a veneer of objectivity to 
try and create a sense of distance — of 
detachment — to make the incredible seem 
credible. 


DR. THAUM: Wait. What? 


SUBJECT: You cloak yourself in the outward 
‘trappings’ of science — the terms, the titles, 
the ‘interview logs' — all in some desperate, 
contrived attempt to make it sound a little more 
reasonable, a little more respectable, a little 
more plausible... 


DR. THAUM: — wait! What are you — s-stop! 
You can't! 


MURPHY: ...all so you can convince them to 
buy into your little story. But at the end of the 
day, what does it all amount to, doc? Just one 
more gimmick — one more swindle — one 
more way to play the same con. 


DR. THAUM 


H-how — this isn't — | deconstructed 
you! You can't — 


NARRATOR 


When it comes right down to it, me — 
them — hell, even you — we're all 
just characters in that trashy dime- 
store novel called life. 


MURPHY grabs DR. THAUM by the collar, 
pulling him close. 


MURPHY 


Sorry to break it to you, doc. But 
you're just a spooky ghost story 
dressed up in a lab-coat, glasses, 
and a funny little accent. 


MURPHY throws him aside. 
NARRATOR 


But if you're lucky — and play your 
cards just right? Maybe you'll find a 
way to write your own story. 


MURPHY pauses to light his cigarette. 
NARRATOR 
Not me, though. I'm no author. 
MURPHY walks toward the exit. 
NARRATOR 
I'm Murphy Law. 


DR. THAUM struggles to get up, grasping at 
the edge of the table. As he does, he sees a 


copy of the INTERVIEW LOG on the desk in 
front of him. The log contains this complete 
text, with one notable addition at the very 
bottom. 


NARRATOR 


I'm just the guy you call when 
everything that could go wrong... did. 


The camera zooms in down to the bottom of 
the INTERVIEW LOG. 


INTERVIEW LOG 
[END LOG] 


WARNING: THE 
FOLLOWING FILE IS LEVEL 
4/3143 CLASSIFIED 


ANY ATTEMPT TO ACCESS THIS FILE WITHOUT 
LEVEL 4/3143 AUTHORIZATION WILL BE 
LOGGED AND WILL LEAD TO IMMEDIATE 
DISCIPLINARY ACTION. 


> ACCESS SCP:/3143/files/email001 .log 


DATE: 2012/03/15 
FROM: Site Director August <noitadnuof.pcs| 
tsuguaj#noitadnuof.pcs|tsuguaj> 


TO: 05-5 Secretary <noitadnuof.pcs| 
ces55o#noitadnuof.pcs|ces550> 
SUBJECT: SCP-3143 


My thoughts: 


It might not have worked, but this was 
nevertheless an excellent test-run for 'Dr. 
Thaum' and the 'Pataphysics Department’. | 
recommend we keep them on the books — 
they might come in handy, particularly in 
regards to developing allegorical and 
metafictional countermeasures. Besides, it's 
not like a fictitious department with fictitious 
employees has a costly upkeep. 


Otherwise, leave the article as is. It might 
contain several inconsistencies (the fact that 
neither Murphy Lawden nor /t Always Rains 
actually exist being the most glaring) but 
further edits could invite unwanted attention 
from SCP-3143. 


On that note: Let's leave SCP-3143 alone for a 
while. Yes, we've learned quite a bit about 
him, but he's also learned quite a bit about us. 
Until we know precisely how his abilities work, 
further efforts to contain him could be 
dangerous. I'm particularly concerned with 
what he said during the final interview — it 
sounds like he thinks we're all just as fictitious 
as he is. 


On a final note: SCP-423 is currently missing. 
I'm concerned it might have something to do 
with our little experiment. I'm having some of 
my people look into it; I'll Keep you updated. 


- Site Director August 


[REDACTED] 


DR. THAUM played by... 
THADDEUS THAUM 


SITE DIRECTOR AUGUST played by... 
JEREMIAH AUGUST 


MTF IOTA-10 played by... 
FRED 


And MURPHY LAW played by... 
HIMSELF 


WITH SPECIAL THANKS TO THE 
PATAPHYSICS DEPARTMENT 


LOOK FOR THADDEUS THAUM TO 
RETURN IN... 


..NEVER METAFICTIONAL CHARACTER | 
DIDN'T LIKE! 


THE END 


Footnotes 
1. Notable examples include Dashiell Hammett'sRed Harvest(1929) 
and Raymond Chandler'sThe Long Goodbye(1953). 


SCP-3144: The Real World Is Faker Than Wrestling 


Item #: SCP-3144 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: Foundation webcrawlers are to 
survey forums dedicated to discussion of professional wrestling and 
delete any discussions related to discrepancy between perception of 
any given match or other form of media related to professional 
wrestling. Agents are to then seize the original poster and evaluate 
them for induction into Foundation Memetics or other departments 
that require a high Psychic Resistance Score; if the individual is 
found unfit or rejects employment, they are to be treated with Class- 
C amnestics. 


Description: SCP-3144 is a mind-altering phenomenon affecting 
professional wrestling in all of its visible forms (live performances, 
broadcasts and recorded media) as well as all media documenting 
the lives of professional wrestlers outside their performances (such 
as biographies, social media accounts, etc). Population susceptible 
to SCP-3144 consist of those over the average age of 14, witha 
Psionic Resistance Index of under _; those naturally resistant to 
SCP-3144's effect make up approximately 0. % of the global 
population untrained against mind-altering phenomena.