Appeared as Leonid A. 
Eisenberg, the younger brother of 
researcher Eisenberg. The 
siblings talked for approximately 
ten minutes in the Rusyn dialect 
of Ukrainian, with Leonid claiming 
to be owed a significant debt by 
his sibling, and intent to rectify the 
situation by claiming his cat, 
Nastasia, for subsequent resale 
to rag collectors. Researcher 
Eisenberg left the cell significantly 
distraught and spent the following 
eighteen hours locked in his 
office. 

Appeared as an Arby's Roast 
Beef Sandwich. Dr. Clef was 
confused, and picked up the 
sandwich when asked. The sauce 
on the sandwich dripped free. Dr. 
Cief’s shirt subsequently stained.§ 
Appeared as a former manager 
from a previous position of 
employment. Was told that he 
was late to work, and that he had 


Dr. Jeremiah Cimmerian 


Dr. King 


Researcher Rose Labelle 


been for six years. Dr. Goose 
began crying and left the room 
rapidly. 

Appeared as SCP-2091-2. Dr. 
Cimmerian and SCP-1848 began 
a conversation related to 
SCP-2091-2's continued 
confinement. Conversation 
concluded with Dr. Cimmerian 
remarking that SCP-2091-2 would 
be released from custody ata 
future date, with SCP-1848 
interrupting Dr. Cimmerian to say 
"Why can't it happen now?" Dr. 
Cimmerian attempted to placate 
SCP-1848, who burst into tears 
and began screaming at Dr. 
Cimmerian, who was asked to 
leave the room.9 

Appeared as a waiter serving a 
multiple-course meal including 
oysters, lamb with mint sauce, 
filet mignon, roast salmon, and 
vanilla ice-cream. Dr. King 
consumed meal without incident, 
but was admitted to medical 
wards the following day from 
debilitating and acute paranoia. 
Appeared as a former girlfriend. 
SCP-1848 claimed to have gone 
through Researcher Labelle's 
computers at home and asked 
about any questionable photos of 
it. Remarked: "Hope you have 
your data backed up, babe. | 
made sure to burn it myself." 
SCP-1848 then requested 
Researcher Labelle's phone 
number as she hurriedly excused 
herself from the room. 


Dr. Matthew Hardison 


Dr. Shirley Gillespie 


Appeared as a large, over-sized 
"sheet-ghost". SCP-1848 
proceeded to chase Dr. Hardison 
around the room at high speed 
while Dr. Hardison expressed 
extreme distress.19 At one point, 
Dr. Hardison fell, and SCP-1848 
helped him up before continuing 
to chase him. Dr. Hardison 
requested and was granted leave 
from SCP-1848's containment 
chamber after fifteen minutes. 
Appeared as Dr. Gillespie's late 
husband, Stanley. Acted 
confused and forgetful, and 
repeatedly attempted to begin an 
interview with Dr. Gillespie under 
the impression that she was 
SCP-187. Dr. Gillespie was 
granted three (3) days of leave for 
personal reasons following this 
incident. 


Addendum SCP-1848: Incidents 


These collected incidents are attempts to explain SCP-1848's 
"sense of humor". Most of these incidents were resolved without 


major problems. 


Escape Attempt 
oi 


incident 
Modified the Containment 
Procedures on SCP-808 to 
include a looping track of 
"Dancing Queen" by ABBA. The 
containment team eventually 
questioned this, but only after 
requisitions for a new tape were 
made following the original's 
degradation from overuse. 


51 


88 


104 


144 


182 


Convinced the then-pregnant Dr. 
Ellison that her baby was talking 
to her, translating what the baby 
was ‘saying’ for several 
minutes. 1 

Encountered one Class-D 
janitorial staff member, who it 
proceeded to convince that urine 
was the quickest way to get out 
stains. Subject regularly urinated 
into mop buckets and on stains 
before cleaning them off for the 
remainder of his service. 
Simultaneously organized a 
"flushing contest" to see who 
could flush their toilet the most in 
a short period. Resulted in severe 
damage to Site-19's sewage 
disposal system. 

With the aid of Site Engineers, 
constructed a 'rocket chair’ from 
fire extinguishers and spare parts, 
then proceeded to convince 
Agent Simmons to 'ramp' the 
chair over a series of tables in the 
site mess. Agent Simmons was 
uninjured, but seven other 
individuals attempted to replicate 
the stunt, claiming they 'wanted a 
turn’, all suffered mild to moderate 
injuries. 

Using the site memo system, 
SCP-1848 sent out a message to 
all senior site staff explaining that 
the heating system was being 
adjusted so that "heat was cold" 
and "cold was heat." Many staff 
members were confused by the 
wording, but over 60% of them 
adjusted their thermostats to 


214 


277 


343 


compensate for it. 

Infiltrated Dr. Mary Norris's office 
and took the form of 200 ceramic 
giraffes on her desk. Dr. Norris 
shouted angrily about office 
decorum until the containment 
team arrived and reestablish 
containment lock. 

Infiltrated the Containment 
Observation Rooms of SCP-530 
and SCP-652. Began an 
argument where the two 
containment teams fought over 
whose SCP would win in a fight. 
Caused a security breach when 
the containment teams released 
their SCPs into the hallway in an 
attempt to induce combat. 12 
SCP-1848 somehow accessed a 
Foundation Database and deleted 
the files of one Johnson Gideon. 
Following this, the rest of the staff 
working with Dr. Gideon refused 
to believe that the Doctor was 
real, many of them simply 
believing that he did not exist and 
never had existed. Subsequent 
anomalies were regularly reported 
until SCP-431 was created to 
explain them.13 


Do Not Proceed without Level Five Clearance 


Access Document 


To: O5 Council 
From: 05-10 


Subject: SCP-1848 Containment 


Date: April 7, 1994 


SCP-1848 appears to have taken the bait. Dr. 
Cartwright entered the containment chamber 
in March, and the SCP-1848 entity emerged, 
appearing to look like Dr. Cartwright. Once 
SCP-1848 emerged, he went to Dr. 
Cartwright's office and finished his paperwork, 
then sent out a number of emails to 
Cartwright's staff, either commending or 
criticizing their responses to a number of 
recent situations, even going so far as to 
update its own file with the new containment 
procedures. 


SCP-1848 was later seen eating food at the 
mess hall, carrying on innocuous 
conversations with other staff members, and 
doing Cartwright's job, believing that he's 
tricked the doctor into taking his place. 
Currently, SCP-1848 has suggested several 
prompt and useful responses to problematic 
SCPs, including SCP- and SCP-1552, raised 
his department's productivity by 12%, and 
seems to be enjoying his latest ‘joke.’ 


Seems we've finally attained containment. 


To: O5 Council 

From: 05-7 

Subject: RE: SCP-1848 Containment 
Date: April 7, 1994 


Sounds acceptable. 


To: O5 Council 

From: 05-4 

Subject: RE: RE: SCP-1848 Containment 
Date: April 7, 1994 


This seems like a good use of an otherwise 


dangerous object. Heartily approve. 


To: O5 Council 

From: O5-9 

Subject: RE: RE: RE: SCP-1848 Containment 
Date: April 8, 1994 


Makes perfect sense. Good job. 


Footnotes 

1. Proposed by Julian Carrow, 1986. Revised by Ellis Cartwright, 
1994. 

2. For information, Containment Directors should see Revised 
Procedures 

3. Don't worry! It's completely harmless. Nothing to worry about at 
all, friends. 

4. Dr. Caspar is no longer married. 

5. Agent [REDACTED] reported to not recognize the woman. When 
offered amnestics, he refused. 

6. Two weeks later, Assistant Researcher Spencer requested 
transfer, stating that the incident had been deeply troubling to him. 
Exit psych evaluation revealed that the man that appeared to Agent 
Malki bore a passing resemblance to his uncle. Researcher was 
reassigned. 

7. Dr. Walker was confused by the incident, but had no memory of 
what happened past walking into the room. 

8. The stain responded normally to cleaning procedures. Dr. Clef's 
shirt was returned to him the following week. 

9. Subsequent requests to review containment procedures for 
SCP-2091 by Dr. Cimmerian have been denied. 

10. Later psychological evaluations noted that, when he was a child, 
Dr. Hardison's brother perpetrated the same practical joke, which 
Dr. Glass believes was a repressed trauma that SCP-1848 enjoyed 
evoking. The size difference between Dr. Hardison and SCP-1848 
was approximately the same as between a small child and teenager, 
supporting this theory. 

11. Translations included "Momma, | love it in here." and "What 
happened to my Daddy? | remember part of him being here, but it's 


gone now." 

12. Both teams were heavily reprimanded. SCP-530 and SCP-652 
did not engage in combat, and following their encounter, are allowed 
visitation times with each other, under supervision. 

13. Dr. Gideon was reassigned to Site-47 with a new alias; however, 
information on this alias is expunged, as people aware of its 
connection to Dr. Gideon believe that he does not exist. 

14. You believed it all, didn't you? 

15. They did too. Suckers. 


« SCP-1847 | SCP-1848 | SCP-1849 » 


SCP-1849: Telepathic Parrot 


Item #: SCP-1849 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1849 is to be contained in 
a standard indoor animal enclosure, with security cameras placed 
discreetly in the four corners of the ceiling. The enclosure floor 
should be standard concrete, covered with a layer of newsprint. 
Enclosure should be supplied with an assortment of sticks and 
branches every three days. Newsprint should be replaced daily, or 
more often if needed; all waste material is to be incinerated. 
Personnel cleaning the enclosure are to wear breathing filters. 


SCP-1849 should be given distilled water and fed a wide range of 
fresh fruits, fresh vegetables, and unshelled nuts. Any leftover fruit 
or vegetables must be removed from the enclosure after no more 
than three days. Personnel are not to bring food into SCP-1849’s 
enclosure that they do not intend to give to it. 


Personnel are to be rotated out frequently to ensure a lack of 
bonding. Any personnel sympathizing with SCP-1849’s 
circumstances or forming an emotional bond are to be reassigned. 
Personnel with visible tattoos are not to be assigned to SCP-1849, 
as it bonds more readily to such personnel. 


Avian enrichment toys are to be provided on a daily basis. 


Description: SCP-1849 is a large bird of unknown species, similar 
in morphology to both a parrot and moa, standing approximately 1.5 
meters tall and weighing 55 kilograms. Subject appears to be 
female. SCP-1849 has three toes on each foot, and 
uncharacteristically large wings that are unsuitable for flight, but 
which can be used to gesticulate. Subject’s feathers are a shade of 
green mixed with roan gray and cover its entire body, save for its 
neck and lower legs. Said feathers form a ‘ruff’ around SCP-1849’s 


neck and waist. Subject’s neck, body, and upper legs are elongated 
and more reminiscent of a human’s features than a bird’s; similarly, 
the bone structure of its wings has been determined by radiography 
to be more hominid than avian. However, its head and face are 
completely avian, possessing a long curving beak with a smaller 
lower jaw, wide-set avian eyes, and a sparse crest upon the top of 
its head. Subject stands bipedally with proper avian knees. 


SCP-1849 possesses speech mimicry and mild telepathic abilities. 
These manifest as a constant, incessant ‘parroting’ of the thoughts 
of any human within approximately 15 (fifteen) meters. SCP-1849 
will parrot thoughts for as long as it is awake, except while eating. 
As is typical with birds, SCP-1849 can be induced to go to sleep by 
darkening the lights in its enclosure. 


When supplied with enough sticks and branches, SCP-1849 will 
build a nest approximately 2 meters in diameter and 0.5 meters in 
height. This will function as its bed. 


SCP-1849 is mildly sapient, with an intelligence similar to a Kakapo 
parrot, and is clearly aware of its surroundings. Subject has been 
observed making scratches on the walls of its enclosure, evidently a 
primitive method of keeping track of time. When not pacing back and 
forth, sitting in its nest, eating, or sleeping, SCP-1849 appears to 
count these marks out loud again and again, using spoken Maori 
numerals; however, it cannot count past twelve. 


SCP-1849 appears to have sexually imprinted on humans, and will 
regularly attempt to sexually present itself for humans regardless of 
their gender. Subject sees any response to its flirting as 
reciprocation in kind. Subject does not fully comprehend its situation 
or identity and often tries to lure prospective mates into its nest, by 
speaking their thoughts out loud. At this point in time, no tests of 
SCP-1849's reproductive capabilities are authorized. 


SCP-1849 will eat nearly anything, but prefers fresh fruits and 
vegetables, as well as dried meats. Subject also likes alcohol, and 
will attempt to stockpile fruit for fermentation; all such stockpiles are 
to be confiscated upon discovery. 


On average once a month, SCP-1849 will lay an unfertilised egg, 


approximately 35 centimeters in length and 20 centimeters in mean 
diameter. These eggs are to be confiscated for research purposes. 
Eggs must be confiscated while subject is asleep. 


Acquisition log: SCP-1849 was secured by the Foundation as the 

result of a series of noise complaints in the outskirts of W , New 
Zealand. When taken into custody, SCP-1849 had Document 1849- 
C11 (written in what Foundation linguists have identified as heavily 

ungrammatical Cook Island Maori) wrapped around its left ankle. 


Document 1849-C11: 
(literal translation from Cook Island Maori) 
Regret/repent/apology. 


Responsibility/obligation, mistake/error/accident. Fault/ 
guilt/sin/blame. Help. 


Fairy/magical being. Fault/guilt/sin/olame. Fairy/magical 
being. Child. Childish. Mistake/error/accident. 


Mistake/error/accident. Forbidden/taboo. Help. Help. 
Disappointment. Regret/repent/apology. 
« SCP-1848 | SCP-1849 | SCP-1850 » 


SCP-1850: Accipiter sopwithii 


Item #: SCP-1850 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1850 is to be kept in an 
aircraft hangar at Site 6; the temperature within the hangar is to be 
kept above 15 (fifteen) degrees Celsius. A radio beacon has been 
attached to SCP-1850's landing struts; the beacon's battery levels 
and proper function must be confirmed before SCP-1850 leaves its 
hangar for any reason. No personnel are to enter SCP-1850's 
cockpit, or to touch any surface within the cockpit, unless SCP-1850 
has first been tranquilized; tranquilizers are to be administered by 
injecting its food with 80 (eighty) milligrams of diazepam, warming 
the food to 30 (thirty) degrees Celsius, introducing it into 
SCP-1850's cockpit, and then waiting until the food has been 
consumed. An 80-milligram dose of diazepam tranquilizes 
SCP-1850 for approximately 90 minutes; tranquilizers are not to be 
administered more often than once every ten days. 


Once every 3 (three) days, SCP-1850 is to be fed 65 (sixty-five) 
kilograms of mice (Mus musculus), rats (Rattus norvegicus), rabbits 
(Oryctolagus cuniculus), chickens (Gallus gallus domesticus), and 
pigeons (Columba livia), pre-killed, and warmed to thirty degrees 
Celsius. 3 (three) grams of veterinary-grade chondroitin sulfate, and 
15 (fifteen) grams of veterinary-grade glucosamine sulfate, are to be 
included in SCP-1850's food during each feeding. 


Foundation veterinarians have recommended that, for the sake of its 
physical health, SCP-1850 is to be allowed to leave its hangar once 
every 5 (five) days to engage in tethered flight. The tether is to be 
made of reinforced steel cable, and is not to exceed 150 (one 
hundred and fifty) meters in length (see document 1850-NL4 for 
tether specifications). The tether is to be attached before SCP-1850 
leaves its hangar; during its flight, SCP-1850 is to be accompanied 
by two Foundation light aircraft. Tethered flight sessions are not to