Special Containment Procedures: Standard exclusionary 
precautions for medium-size stationary oceanic anomalies apply for 
SCP-3158. Expungement of SCP-3158 from satellite imagery is 
unnecessary. Access is denied to all personnel. 


Description: SCP-3158 is a tropical island with an area of 4.8km2 
located 42 kilometers off the coast of . Subjects present on 
SCP-3158 will secrete human blood, rather than tears, from their 
lacrimal glands. This does not result in irritation; rather, the blood 
adequately fulfills the functions of the tear film, albeit resulting in a 
red tint to the subject's vision. This effect ceases once the subject 
leaves SCP-3158. 


Affected subjects prefer not to acknowledge this effect, attempting to 
refocus any such discussion on SCP-3158's natural beauty, 
calmness, or exoticism. Excreted blood matches the genetic profile 
of [DATA LOST]. 


Subjects that observe a 15m x 60m area in the southeastern region 
of SCP-3158, designated SCP-3158-1, experience intense, painful 
hunger that does not abate until they leave SCP-3158. Subjects will 
attempt to consume any material they believe to be edible, save for 
components of humans they consider to be of similar or higher 
social status. 


No subject has voluntarily discussed this phenomenon, or their 
actions while under its effect; they instead attempt to refocus any 
such discussion on SCP-3158's suitability as a travel destination. 


Prior to Incident 3158-Alpha, SCP-3158-1 was the site of [DATA 
LOST]. SCP-3158 came to Foundation attention shortly thereafter, 


when several soldiers reported SCP-3158's anomalous effects. 


SCP-3159: The Trashiest World in the Multiverse 


Item #: SCP-3159 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: Popular media and the internet 
are to be monitored for references to SCP-3159, with amnestics to 
be administered as required. 


Description: SCP-3159 is a radio signal in the 116-118 MHz range 
appearing intermittently over the Florida panhandle. Manifestations 
of SCP-3159 last between 10 and 15 minutes, with 3-7 
manifestations appearing each week since discovery in October 
1993. Because the transmission frequency of SCP-3159 falls 
outside the FM radio band, it is relatively rare for commercially 
available radios to pick it up; when this does occur, listeners usually 
assume they are listening to a parody or a practical joke. 


SCP-3159 features episodes of The Jerry Springer Show. The 
general format parallels the non-anomalous version of the show, 
with each episode focusing on relationship problems stemming from 
immoderate or socially proscribed behavior. Voice spectrography 
reveals a 99.17% match for Gerald Norman Springer, with the 
difference of 0.83% consistent with a case of chronic laryngitis 
affecting the host of SCP-3159 but not Mr. Springer. 


Remote sensing has not revealed a physical source for SCP-3159. 
Notably, no known technology is capable of creating a spatially 
localized electromagnetic signal without a source that can be 
detected by means available to the Foundation. It is currently 
believed that SCP-3159 originates from a parallel universe. 


+ Transcript of a manifestation of SCP-3159 recorded on 4/8/98 


The following excerpt features Stella, whose 
voice suggests a woman in her late teens, and 


SCP-401: A Palm Tree 


Item #: SCP-401 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-401 is to be kept in an 
enclosed courtyard at Site- . A mural of the landscape of southern 
France is painted on the walls of the courtyard. Once daily, 
personnel are to locate at least ten roots which will be fed a total of 
15 L of nutritional supplement 401-NS-4 and to remove any solid 
waste produced. An EKG is to constantly monitor SCP-401 for any 
anomalies (refer to Incident 401-1 for details). Female personnel are 
not to enter the courtyard at any time between March 15 and April 1, 
under any circumstances. 


Description: SCP-401 was discovered near the French city of 
when agents responded to reports of the ground bleeding. When led 
to the site, investigators found a human mouth embedded in the soil, 
licking away the remaining blood with a long prehensile tongue. It 
was not until a week later that agents realized that the mouth was 
part of the root structure of what at first appeared to be a forty (40) 
meter tall dead eucalyptus tree with branches shaped like multi- 
jointed human arms. The white colour of the trunk, originally 
suggesting that the tree was dead, was found to be because the 
bark was made of human bone tissue. It was given SCP status and 
excavated from the area, to be transported to Site- . 


SCP-401 resembles an ordinary tree in form and function. However, 
human physiology is substituted for plant biology in the fulfillment of 
necessary processes. The trunk is supported by multiple vertebral 
columns, woven together by tendons and muscles and coated by a 
layer of rough bone tissue also held together by flexible tendons. As 
one goes higher, the trunk will split repeatedly until there is a single 
vertebral column supporting the rest of the structure. At the base of 
the trunk are multiple human hearts which pump blood and nutrients 
through the roots and branches. The roots themselves are esophagi, 


Logan, whose voice suggests a man in his 
early thirties. 


Stella: | don't fucking believe this shit. 
Logan: It didn't mean nothing. 


Stella: It's like...how do you even fuck an 
alien? 


Logan: Baby, theres no need for that. 


Stella: You son-of-a-bitch, yes, there is. Tell 
me, how'd you even do it with that round 
thing? They don't have holes. 


Jerry: The girl raises a good question. 


The studio audience laughs and breaks into a 
chant of "Jerry, Jerry" lasting approximately 15 
seconds. 


Logan: You don't touch em or anything. You 
just think thoughts and then...you know. Kinda 
like getting porn straight into your brain. 


At this point, a sound resembling a conch horn 
is heard. Across a battery of tests, listeners 
consistently report that the sound made them 
intensely uncomfortable, and that immediately 
afterwards the image of a man sniffing a 
bouquet of flowers appeared in their minds. 


Jerry: | think we just got our answer. 


Logan: It ain't cheating if there's no touching, 
am | right? 


Stella: You telling me you mind-fucked that 
piece of blubber? 


Audience hoots and jeers. An audience 


member is heard yelling "Oh no she didn't!" 


Jerry: Now Stella, you know the b-word is 
fraught with unfortunate racial connotations. 


Stella: | don't give a shit! That fat sack of... 


Jerry: | think we all need a little breather. We'll 
be right back after these messages from our 
sponsors. 


The following ad is narrated by an older female 
who speaks in measured tones, alongside a 
younger female with a quick, chirpy voice. 


Older female: Let's face it — we all know 
someone who fell prey to a flytrap ATM. 


Younger female: | was just about to go into 
the bank when | decided to get a coffee first. 
When | returned, the ATM was chewing 
through the remains of the last customer! 


Older female: Don't become food for a 
interdimensional being. 


Younger female: That could have been me. 


Older female: That's why at Meridian Bank, 
our ATMs have the distinctive gold-and- 
crimson patterns that are so hard to emulate. 
A recent study by the North American 
Consumer Protection Association found that 
Meridian lost fewer customers to flytraps than 
any other mid-size bank. 


Younger female: Meridian: shop safe. 


This following ad is narrated by a young, 
hyper-masculine voice, with occasional 
interruption by hissing sounds. Although these 
sounds do not correspond to any known 


language, listeners were unanimous across an 
array of tests in assigning the same meaning 
to the hisses. 


Narrator: Are you having trouble pleasing 
women? Do you happen to be a little on the 
small side, down there? 


Hissing: | am hungry. 


Narrator: | hate to be the one to tell ya, but 
penis extension is a lie. Don't throw your 
money away on creams or pumps. They don't 
do anything. 


Narrator: But there is one way that is 100% 
guaranteed to give you the result you want! 


Hissing: So very hungry. 


Narrator: For a modest fee, we here at 
MonoRaptor would be willing to intercede with 
Quetzalcoatl for you. Big Q will get you all the 
thickness and girth you need. 


Narrator: There is just one teensy little catch: 
the Quez will want some of your memories. 


Hissing: | will see the world through your 
eyes. 


Narrator: But hey, you've got plenty of 
memories, am | right? Do you really need to 
remember all your snot-nosed childhood 
friends? 


Narrator: Contact a MonoRaptor agent today. 


After a few beats from the Jerry Springer 
theme song, the show returns to applause 
from the studio audience. 


Jerry: And we're back. Before we quit for 
today, Logan has one more thing to tell us. 


Logan: Yeah. Baby, this aint easy for me to 
say. Stella, sweetie, I'm pregnant. 


Stella: What? 
Logan: Yeah. 


Stella: What the you 
piece of (1 


Logan: Come on, baby. 


Stella: We're through you motherf.....wait, 
where's it even going to come out of? 


Jerry: Aaaaand that's all the time we have for 
today, folks. 


Manifestations of SCP-3159 have included references to "Oprah," 
"Kim Kardashian," and "Brangelina," indicating that the universe of 
SCP-3159 shares a number of features with our own. On the other 
hand, the closing credits of each episode state that the show is 
filmed in the "North American Confederacy," and off-hand remarks 
suggest the Confederacy is engaged in the prolonged occupation of 
a nation known as "The Empire of Greater Mesopotamia." 


The low signal strength of SCP-3159 has made triangulation 
challenging; at present, the location of the transmission can only be 
localized to a 50km2 region within Okaloosa County, Florida. It is 
anticipated that within 6-8 years, it will be possible to pinpoint the 
originating location to within approximately 300m2. This will allow the 
Foundation to identify the spatial point where the boundary between 
the two universes is permeable to radio signals; in turn, this will 
enable the Foundation to either send a message, or install a jammer 
to ensure that no transmissions from our world get through. 


The O5 council has voted several times to pursue the latter course 
of action. However, opinions on this matter are far from unanimous. 
Detractors point out that the universe in which SCP-3159 originates 


appears to possess a number of advanced technologies, with many 

possibilities for mutually beneficent exchange. Moreover, it has also 

been suggested that one might form a rather negative opinion of our 
own universe if the sole source of information about it was The Jerry 
Springer Show. 


Footnotes 
1. Blacked-out text corresponds to expunged words in SCP-3159 
(colloquially known as "bleeps"). 


SCP-3160: There Are Wasps Inside Your Microwave, 
And They're Stinging You Right Now 


Item #: SCP-3160 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: As detailed in the Boring 
Agreement, SCP-3160 is currently contained primarily by Gol-466 
("Wilson's Wildlife Solutions") with a limited degree of Foundation 
oversight. All soecimens comprising SCP-3160 are to be kept in an 
enclosure at Wilson's Wildlife Solutions HQ and fed daily in 
accordance with Nutritional Chart 3160-1. No objects other than 
those required for feeding or maintenance are to be introduced to 
the SCP-3160 enclosure. 


Object Apol is to be kept at the center of SCP-3160's enclosure. 
Twice a day, it is to be doused in pheromones via an automatic 
dispersal system so as to encourage SCP-3160 to remain close to it. 
Francesco Saul, the creator of Object Apol, is to be kept on-site as a 
containment consultant so as to perform any conceptual 
maintenance that Object Apol requires. 


Description: SCP-3160 is the collective designation for, at the time 
of writing, one hundred and twenty nine yellowjacket wasps capable 
of shifting from a physical state to a conceptual one. When a 
specimen of SCP-3160 is threatened, it will cease existing physically 
and attach itself to the conceptual framework of a nearby object. 


While conceptually attached to an object, the specimen of 
SCP-3160 is also present within all objects with a similar conceptual 
framework within a radius of ten kilometers. SCP-3160 can also 
emerge physically from any such object within that radius, making 
their conceptual properties an effective form of escape as well as 
concealment. 


While in its conceptual form, SCP-3160 can physically interfere with 


any organism within a meter of any of the objects it is inhabiting. 
This interference takes the form of numerous, repeated stings, often 
encouraging the organism to retreat further away from the object. 
These stings have been shown to have no properties outside of 
those expected from a normal yellowjacket wasp. 


SCP-3160 first came to the attention of the Foundation after Gol-466 
("Wilson's Wildlife Solutions") requested assistance in its 
containment. After SCP-3160 attached themselves to a microwave, 
numerous citizens of Boring, Oregon reported receiving large 
amounts of wasp stings while in their kitchens. Through a joint effort 
by the Foundation's Conceptual Department and Wilson's Wildlife 
Solutions, all specimens of SCP-3160 were successfully expelled 
from the microwaves and brought into initial containment. 


Addendum 3160-1: Following numerous containment breaches 
caused by SCP-3160 conceptually attaching themselves to the walls 
and floor of their enclosure, it was decided that new containment 
procedures were required. Wilson's Wildlife Solution, with limited 
funding provided by the Foundation, commissioned Francesco Saul, 
an anartist known to have experience in conceptual engineering, to 
provide a conceptually unique installation for SCP-3160's enclosure. 


This installation, referred to as Object Apol, was completed on 
03/11/2016. Saul is currently kept on-site at Wilson's Wildlife 
Solutions HQ for the purpose of maintaining Object Apol. 


As the only identifying concept belonging to Object Apol is 'being 
Object Apol', rather than possessing the concepts of its numerous 
components, specific physical description of it is not possible. When 
Object Apol is inhabited by a specimen of SCP-3160, the fact that 
no other objects with its conceptual framework exist means that 
SCP-3160 cannot use it to escape or influence anything outside of 
their enclosure. 


Upon the termination of his contract involving SCP-3160 
containment, Saul has agreed to undergo amnestic therapy to 
remove all memories of his creating Object Apol. This ensures that 
he cannot recreate it in the future and potentially compromise 
containment of SCP-3160. Frequent complaints from Saul regarding 
being ‘stuck in some nowhere town' suggest that he will seek an end 


to his employment in the near future. 


SCP-3161: The Plight of Poor Sir Gregor 


Item #: SCP-3161 


Object Class: Safe 


SCP-3161-1 posing for photo at its own request. 


Special Containment Procedures: A perimeter of 2 km is to be 
maintained around SCP-3161 at all times with no less than six 
security guards on constant patrols. Any civilians caught attempting 
to enter this perimeter must be detained, administered class-A 
amnestic, then turned over to local authorities. 


Explorations of SCP-3161 are carried out on a bi-weekly basis by an 
armed archaeological team of at least five personnel. All 
documentation of SCP-3161's interior is to be stored in on site folder 
Exploration Log 3161.1A.