SCP-2534-1 ownership can be transferred among persons. 
SCP-2534-1 being given, stolen, used as legal tender, or otherwise 
handled by another person are all valid methods of transfer. If a 
subject loses SCP-2534-1, but it is not handled by another 
individual, that subject remains the current owner. Ownership cannot 
be transferred to animals, corpses, those already owning an 
instance of SCP-2534-1, or those who have already received 
SCP-2534-1's effect. 


After the subject has experienced SCP-2534-1's anomalous effect, 
the instance will become inert and cease any anomalous activity. 


+ Show testing to determine SCP-2534-1 effect's parameters. 
Test 1 


Subject: D-103122 

Note: D-103122 has received SCP-2534-1's 
effect, and will be used to test the effect's 
parameters. 

Procedure: D-103122 is given a dollar ($1.00 
USD) and is instructed to hold on to it for as 
long as possible. 

Results: D-103122 placed the dollar in her 
pocket. When the pocket was checked again, 
a hole had opened in the bottom of it, and the 
dollar was not present. 


Test 2 


Subject: D-103122 

Procedure: A nickel ($0.05 USD) is taped to 
D-103122's arm using transparent tape. 
Results: D-103122 complained that the tape 
was too tight. When attempting to loosen it, the 
nickel fell out and rolled into a nearby grate. 
D-103122 was unable to retrieve the nickel. 
Repeated tests all resulted in D-103122 losing 
the nickel, despite any changed variables. 


Test 3 


Subject: D-103122 

Procedure: D-103122 is given $1.00 USD, 
$1.00 CAD, ¥100 JPY, £1.00 GBP, €1.00 
EUR, and 705.00 CNY. D-103122 was then 
instructed to hold onto all the currency. 
Results: D-103122 placed all currency in her 
other pocket. When the pocket was checked 
again, another hole was present in the bottom, 
but all currency remained except for the $1.00 
USD. 


Test 4 


Procedure: A quarter ($0.25 USD) is 
surgically inserted underneath the skin in 
D-103122's leg. 

Results The quarter remained in D-103122's 
leg. At the time of writing, it has not been lost. 
"It seems that the effect will not persist if the 
money in question is not readily available to 
D-103122. More tests to determine the limits of 
this effect have been approved." Dr. Two 
weeks later, D-103122 underwent testing with 
SCP- . During the testing, SCP- wounded 
her leg, breaking the skin and releasing the 
quarter. D-103122 was then quickly evacuated 
from the testing chamber. 


Addendun,, Incident 2534-S: On / /_ , the Bank of 

was robbed by 4 unidentified individuals. The entirety of the 
approximate $ . million dollars the bank had in storage was stolen. 
When investigated, J S_ , the owner of the bank, was confirmed 
to own an instance of SCP-2534-1. The instance was retrieved, and 
Mr.S was administered amnestics and relocated to Site 32-B. 


Containment procedures were re-written post incident to ensure that 
no facilities or personnel important to the U.S. economy are affected 
by SCP-2534-1. 


Addendum 2: On //2015, a thread was made on (a popular 
image sharing website) on the topic of a "misprinted Euro" the 


poster had discovered. In the thread, an image was included of a 1 
Euro cent coin printed with the year 2017. The IP was traced to 

, France, and MTF-Rho-7 was dispatched to retrieve the 
instance, now designated SCP-2534-1E. 


SCP-2534-1E was retrieved without error, date of retrieval was 
confirmed, and Class-C amnestics were administered to the subject. 
SCP-2534-1E has retained the same physical properties as a 
normal SCP-2534-1 instance (see Footnote 3), and it is assumed 
that it will have the same eventual effect as well. 


No other instances of SCP-2534-1E have since been reported or 
discovered. 


Footnotes 

1. SCP-2534 has occurred in all 50 states. 

2. Changes in SCP-2534-1 composition and design have been 
noted. For example, SCP-2534-1 instances discovered in 1980 
contained mostly zinc, and instances discovered in 2008 displayed 
the Lincoln Union Shield on their reverse. 

3. SCP-2534-1 instances have the same durability as an ordinary 
penny, but cannot be cut or separated into more than one piece (in 
either solid or liquid state). Any manipulated SCP-2534-1 instance 
holds the same eventual anomalous effect as an unaltered instance 
until the two-year mark passes. 

4. Roughly defined as being picked up by a human. Skin contact is 
not required. Tests are currently underway to determine the exact 
parameters of retrieval. 

5. Regardless of whether or not the subject owns the cash on their 
property; see Incident 2534-S for more details. 


« SCP-2533 | SCP-2534 | SCP-2535 » 


SCP-2535: Printers that Eat, and Eaters that Print 


Item #: SCP-2535 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2535 is to be sealed off 
from the public under the cover of health and safety reasons. A team 
of at least two agents is to be stationed in an adjacent building for 
observation purposes at all times. 


Where possible, the interior of SCP-2535 is to be soundproofed. 
Excess material generated within SCP-2535 is to be collected and 
disposed of daily. 


Description: SCP-2535 is the former two-storey Hewlett-Packard 
branch office building located in the Xiaoshan district of Hangzhou, 
China. It contains an intricate network of electrical and biological 
components of unknown origin. In particular, covering the walls of 
the entire first storey of SCP-2535 are sixty-three thousand, five 
hundred and twelve USB 2.0 standard A sockets embedded at semi- 
regular intervals of roughly 20 cm in a grid pattern. Each socket is 
connected to a network of wires running throughout the walls, 
consisting of strands of copper interwoven with human optic nerve 
tissue and encased in a keratin sheath. For reasons unknown, the 
temperature of each USB socket, as well as that of the wires, 
remains at a constant 47.6°C regardless of external temperature. 1 
Furthermore, despite being partially composed of biological material, 
the wires have not exhibited any sign of decay or deterioration since 
initial containment. 


These wires branch out from clusters running vertically throughout 
the load-bearing pillars of the building, and terminate in a room 
located on the second floor, presumed to be the former server room. 
The room is currently inaccessible, as its only entrance has been 
obstructed from the inside by what non-intrusive imaging methods 
have determined as a continuous solid biological mass. Ballistic 


means of ingress have been deemed unnecessarily destructive, and 
thus have not been attempted. 


The inside of the room, like the other anomalous electrical and 
biological components of SCP-2535, constantly emits heat at a 
temperature of 47.6°C. Personnel within the vicinity of the room 
occasionally report the smell of ozone and sulfur emanating from 
within, along with loud printer noises. 


317 of the USB socket and power outlets of SCP-2535 have been 
connected to HP-brand USB 2.0-compatible electronic devices. Of 
these, 20 possess anomalous, possibly ectoentropic function (see 
below for details). The remainder have been catalogued and moved 
to the adjacent Provisional Observation Site-2535 for storage. 


Five former employees of Hewlett-Packard's Hangzhou branch are 
located in various rooms within SCP-2535. The bodies of these five 
individuals are in an anomalous state of biological suspension, 
requiring no sleep, water, or food despite being perpetually 
conscious. They have remained virtually unchanged in their states 
since initial discovery and acquisition in April 2013. Any attempt to 
extricate them from their predicaments appears to be physically 
impossible, as the devices binding them are unable to be unplugged 
or disassembled by any means whatsoever. The list of employees 
within SCP-2535 consists of: 


¢ Guo Pingping, former branch manager of the Hewlett-Packard 
Hangzhou branch. Guo is located in the bathroom nearest to 
the receptionist's desk on the first floor. His head has been 
forced into the feed tray of a continuously-operating USB 2.0- 
compatible HP Deskjet 1112 printer plugged into the wall2. 
Although this would be fatal to an ordinary human, the 
remainder of Guo's body continues to kick and thrash as if in 
pain. 

« James Gu Yongsun, former assistant branch manager of the 
Hewlett-Packard Hangzhou branch. Gu is located in the 
employee's pantry on the second floor. His body has been 
secured vertically to the wall via ninety-two 20-inch USB 2.0 
M-M cables. The actuating unit of a HP Deskjet 2540 All-In- 
One printer has been similarly secured to Gu's lower jaw via 
five 10-inch USB 2.0 M-M cables. Attached to the arm of the 


actuating unit is a single HP 10 Black Original Ink Cartridge. 
The actuating unit has been modified to run on USB power 
sources and is itself plugged into a USB socket via an 
adapter. It continuously rams the ink cartridge into Gu's throat 
at a rate of 1 stroke per second. The ink cartridge is 
hypothesised to contain an anomalous amount of ink, as it has 
yet to run dry. Gu himself is partly conscious, and responds 
incoherently to vocal stimuli. 

Angel Li Huimin, former human resources department head of 
the Hewlett-Packard Hangzhou branch. Li is located in her 
former office on the second floor. Similarly to Gu, she has 
been secured to the wall via eighty-nine 20-inch USB 2.0 M-M 
cables. Another cable of indeterminate length has been 
inserted into her lower abdomen via a 5mm-wide fistula. She 
continuously vomits a stream of thermal receipt paper from 
her mouth and appears to be in great distress as a result. Her 
abdomen is slightly distended; it is inferred from palpitations 
and analysis of the sounds produced from her abdomen that 
there is a fully-operating HP USB Single Station Thermal 
Receipt Printer located in the vicinity of her jejunum. 

Wang Liang, former IT department head of the Hewlett- 
Packard Hangzhou branch. Wang is located near the water 
cooler on the first floor. He is secured in a standing position 
against the wall via thirty-seven 20-inch USB 2.0 M/M cables. 
Pressed against his body are twelve HP Scanjet 200 
scanners, all in continuous operation. Beside him is a HP 
Deskjet 1112 printer attached to the wall, also in constant 
operation; however, instead of paper, it produces A4-sized 
sheets of human epidermal tissue matching Wang's skin tone. 
Wang is conscious but unable to respond coherently due to 
his near-constant screaming. 

Chen Youpeng, trainee technical writer. Chen is located in the 
branch manager's office on the second floor. His body has 
been fitted inside the paper tray and backup paper tray of a 
HP Laserjet Pro 500 multi-function printer, which has been 
plugged into the wall via a standard power cable and a 3-feet 
USB 2.0 M-M cable. An aperture has been cut into the side of 
the printer, from which his head protrudes. The printer 
alternates between producing copies of the HP standard print 
quality diagnostic page and the HP Laserjet 500 technical 


repair manual. Since discovery, it has not run out of paper or 
ink. Chen is unconscious, and displays signs of severe blood 
loss. 


These five individuals were reported missing in May 2013, one 
month after the closure of the Hangzhou branch office due to 
international downsizing measures. 


Additionally, a Canon Pixma E480 printer is located in the janitor's 
closet on the first floor. It bears human teeth marks and dents 
across its exterior, along with chemical damage indicating 
application of concentrated liquid bleach. Since its discovery, it has 
been attempting to print a 91-page document to no effect, as its 
paper tray appears to have been improperly loaded such that the 
topmost sheets have crumpled up and jammed the feed mechanism. 


The seams of the Canon Pixma E480 periodically leak human blood. 
DNA matches that of Yan Shaoxia, a creative consultant formerly 
under the employment of the Hewlett-Packard Hangzhou branch, 
who was reported missing at about the same time as the five 
Hewlett-Packard employees. 


Footnotes 

1. This is not an ectoentropic phenomenon, as the building 
containing it has been known to exhibit increased electrical power 
consumption during periods of cold weather. 

2. How this was achieved is unknown, as the internal dimensions of 
the Deskjet 1112's feed tray are insufficient to accommodate a 
human head, and the mechanical components of the Deskjet 1112 
appear unable to exert sufficient force in order to crush a human 
skull. 


« SCP-2534 | SCP-2535 | SCP-2536 » 


SCP-2536: The Gift That Keeps On Giving 


Item #: SCP-2536 
Object Class: Keter 


Special Containment Procedures: As the nature of SCP-2536 
makes physical containment impossible, containment procedures 
will instead focus on the manner in which personnel should conduct 
themselves in the event of a manifestation. To enforce this, as of 
12/23/19 , copies of these containment procedures are to be 
distributed among all personnel currently in the employ of the SCP 
Foundation during the month of December. In the event that 
SCP-2536 appears before a member of personnel, they are to 
refrain from accepting any offered gifts, leave the vicinity of 
SCP-2536 and immediately inform their supervisor. 


Gifts presented to personnel by SCP-2536 are only to be accepted 
under strict testing conditions and after testing are to be confiscated 
immediately. 


Description: SCP-2536 is a Christmas tree with purple and white 
decorations, approximately two meters tall and composed primarily 
of plastic. A speaker is attached to the base of SCP-2536, which 
loudly plays the song ‘I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday’ by the 
band Wizzard on a constant loop. SCP-2536 only manifests during 
the month of December, and its status during the rest of the year is 
currently unknown. During the month of December, SCP-2536 will 
appear before at least six members of Foundation personnel, one at 
a time, regardless of distance between them. No reports have been 
found from the public or elements outside the Foundation indicating 
SCP-2536 appearing to anyone apart from Foundation personnel. 


Upon appearance before a member of personnel, a gift in the form 
of a wrapped present consistent with traditional Christmas practices 
will be located beneath SCP-2536. This gift, hereafter referred to as 
SCP-2536-1, will contain an item which the chosen member of 


personnel greatly desires, whether consciously or subconsciously. In 
cases where the desired item would be too large to feasibly fit inside 
SCP-2536-1, its interior dimensions become significantly larger than 
its exterior ones. If the targeted member of personnel ignores 
SCP-2536, and leaves the area, SCP-2536 will disappear after three 
to five minutes. 


SCP-2536 was first discovered when it manifested in the office of 
Site-26 Director Leder during a lock-down after containment breach 
of SCP- . At the time, SCP-2536-1 contained the required 
materials to temporarily shut down SCP- and return it to its 
chambers. Inspection of SCP-2536 by nearby researchers revealed 
the following note attached to SCP-2536's base: 


Here at [DATA EXPUNGED],! we love nothing more 
than to watch the good work you fellows do. Your 
empathy and moral integrity are an inspiration to us all! 
And so, in this season of giving, we have decided to 
present you brave heroes who do so much for us with a 
gift of your own! Enjoy. 


Merry Christmas, 
OSN 
Addendum 2536-1 - Sample Record of SCP-2536-1 Contents: 


Member of Personnel SCP-2536-1 Contents 
Site Director Leder Materials required to shut down 
and subdue SCP- 
Dr. Landis Several excited Welsh Corgi 


puppies. DNA analysis revealed 
the puppies were all genetically 
identical.