Input: A topographical map of the same area as the 
previous output, as measured by foundation surveyors. A 
small photograph of Dr. Green is attached. 

Output: A slate with a highly stylized drawing of Dr. 
Green. 


Note: I'm having difficulty interpreting this latest result. 


Test #: 005 

Researcher: Dr. Green 

Input: A box with several compartments, each containing 
the current RDA of the vitamins, minerals, and 
macronutrients necessary for human life. 

Output: A slate with a highly stylized drawing of Dr. 
Green next to the tree-like figure of tests 3 and 4. 


Test #: 006 


Researcher: Dr. Green 

Input: An entire set of the Encyclopedia Brittanica found 
in a Foundation storage room in Site 19. 

Output: A slate containing a drawing of the Mona Lisa 
with Dr. Green's face and a fired clay statue of David 
with Dr. Green's face. 


Note: Requesting transfer. 


Test #: 007 

Researcher: Dr. Strecker 

Input: A topographical map of the beach surrounding 
Site 3352 with an attached photo of Dr. Strecker. 
Output: The same map, but with the photo slashed and 
damaged and scribbled on in green. A sketch of Dr. 
Green was added next to the photo and circled several 
times. 


Test #: 008 

Researcher: Dr. Strecker 

Input: A photo of Dr. Strecker and a sheet of paper 
divided into two portions, with the left hand side 
containing the symbols from Output 3, and the right hand 
side containing the equivalent in English. 

Output: A series of slate copies of violent paintings, with 
Dr. Strecker's face replacing all victims. Paintings 
included E/ tres de mayo de 1808 en Madrid by Goya, 
Judith Beheading Holofernes by Caravaggio, and 
Garden of Earthly Delights by Bosch. A large 
reproduction of Dr. Green's original photograph is also 
included with the face repeatedly circled in green. 


Note: Testing has been put on hold. 


Test #: 009 

Researcher: Dr. Strecker 

Input: None. 

Output: Two dead organisms (designated 
SCP-3352-9-1 and SCP-3352-9-2 respectively). They 


appeared vagile, with several limbs; however, cell 
samples had thick cell walls consisting of cellulose. The 
samples seemed very degraded. 


Note: This was the first instance in which the anomaly 
produced material independently. 


Test #: 010 

Researcher: Dr. Strecker 

Input: None. 

Output: A large pile of what seem to be pieces of 
organisms (designated SCP-3352-10-1 to 38 
respectively). Pieces were separated and analyzed 
individually. Each piece had ragged edges consistent 
with damage from a sharp blade. Samples were very 
degraded, but seemed consistent with SCP-3352-9-1 
and 2. A slate was also included with images of Dr. 
Strecker (chopped into pieces), and Dr. Green (circled). 


Note: | believe that this is a form of threat. We are 
requesting a stronger security force and will be 
commencing remote sensing. -Dr. Strecker 


Test #: 011 

Researcher: Dr. Strecker 

Input: A video camera transmitting wirelessly. (Note: 
transmission ended as soon as the camera 
demanifested). 

Output: The video camera, smashed, together with a 
document reproduced below as SCP-3352-11-2. The 
document consisted of English words which had been 
excised from a printed document and adhered to a slate. 
Analysis of the excised text gives a 99.9% match to the 
Encyclopedia Brittanica sent through earlier. 


Note: Official testing is now proceeding through the 
Multireality Diplomacy Department, in pursuance to 
document SCP-3352-1 1-2. 


Document SCP-3352-11-2 (Level 3 Authorization Required) 


We the people of 

our Island home 

we can look forward to that day when this city 
will be joined as one and this country and this 
great Continent 

in a peaceful and hopeful globe. 


We are told that you have been 
in communication with 

a rogue, a peasant slave 

one of our people 

mad for thy love 


That man 

who spoke of love 

Has spoken like a traitor and shall answer as 
traitors do. 

He is dead and gone, Lady 

I'm sorry. | just hope | haven't let you down. 


This is our hope 

To regulate Commerce with foreign Nations 
the undiscovered country 

We set sail on this new sea because there is 
new knowledge to be gained, and new rights 
to be won, and they must be won and used for 
the progress of all people. 


Thank you. 


SCP-3353: Secrets for Sweets 


Item #: SCP-3353 
Object Class: Keter 


Special Containment Procedures: Foundation historians 
specializing in European folklore are to maintain a list of numerically- 
significant dates to predict future SCP-3353 manifestations. 
Locations that have been confirmed affected by SCP-3353 
manifestations are to be investigated at least twice monthly, as per 
dates noted on the predictive list. 


Should SCP-3353 manifest during a monitoring session, Foundation 
agents are to patrol the area and intercept any passersby who 
approach the location of manifestation too closely. Amnestics may 
be administered as necessary. 


A disinformation team of at least ten researchers is to monitor social 
media outlets for reports of SCP-3353 sightings. SCP-3353 is to be 
explained as a low-attention public artistic project involving fairy tale 
enthusiasts attempting to “make people’s lives a little more magical!” 
To aid with this cover story, five SCP-3353 disinformation team 
members are to maintain several active artistic blog accounts, which 
regularly post a variety of mundane art content in addition to recipes 
and crafts instructions for making non-anomalous versions of the 
apples and desserts produced by SCP-3353. 


Apples recovered from SCP-3353 events are to be kept for analysis 
in low-priority storage. Should the apples spoil, they can be 
disposed of in non-anomalous waste containers. 


Description: SCP-3353 refers to a recurring anomalous 
phenomenon, which initially manifests with the spontaneous 
appearance of an intangible apple tree! within a public garden or 
park area. SCP-3353 events occur most commonly in the United 
Kingdom and Ireland, typically beginning at midnight and concluding 


after three hours. (Additional SCP-3353 sightings have been 
reported by social media accounts originating in Australia and 
Japan, but these cases are currently unconfirmed.) 


Following the appearance of the apple tree, several apples will 
manifest beneath it. These apples appear non-anomalous, with the 
exception of not displaying on digital device screens when 
photographed or videotaped. Closer inspection will reveal the words 
“Tell me a secret” etched in neat handwriting into the skin of the 
apples, as if carved with a small knife. 


Should a human individual voice a personal statement while holding 
an apple produced by SCP-3353, there is a chance that the apple 
will vanish and be replaced by a small dessert (biscuits, tarts, or 
small cakes). Desserts produced through this effect are universally 
enjoyed by any individuals who consume them, regardless of 
existing taste preferences, and appear otherwise non-anomalous. It 
is further noted that SCP-3353 desserts tend to spoil at a quicker 
rate than non-anomalous counterparts. 


In rare cases, individuals who handle an apple produced by 
SCP-3353 but attempt to hide it on their person or otherwise refuse 
to speak to it will grow drowsy, eventually falling into a deep sleep 
for several hours. This effect seems to result in extreme 
disorientation upon awakening, but no lasting harm. Apples that 
were not handled during the SCP-3353 manifestation will revert to 
non-anomalous variants (with no etching) at the conclusion of the 
event. 


At the conclusion of the SCP-3353 manifestation, the apple tree will 
be replaced with a ring of mushrooms2. The mushrooms produced 
are consistently local species and possess no anomalous qualities. 


Addendum SCP-3353-1: The first recorded case of SCP-3353 
manifestation occurred on 03/23/2013, when two Foundation 
personnel patrolling a privately-owned park during their routine 
duties noticed the unusual apple tree associated with the presence 
of SCP-3353. The personnel approached the tree, noting that both it 
and the surrounding apples on the ground did not display on the 
surveillance cameras. 


After contacting the nearest Foundation Site, Researcher Dominic 
Harris (Doctor of Humanities, University of Cambridge) was 
authorized to further investigate the anomaly. He proceeded to 
interact with three apples$ until the following results were produced 
(spoken words present in italics): 


“| tell my mother that | like her No change noted. 
cooking, but Il really dont.” 

“I’m embarrassed by not knowing Apple cracked in half, and 
the difference between vegan anatransformed into a small cupcake. 
vegetarian, even though my 

girlfriend is vegetarian.” 

“When | was younger |smashed No change noted. 

my friend’s toy car, because | 

secretly wanted them to pay more 

attention to me.” 

“If |can get away with it, | won’t} No change noted. 

bathe for a few days in a row or 

I'll only wash my body and not my 

hair because it feels like a chore 

and unnécessary too.” 

“One time | mispronounced a Apple transformed into a 
word and people laughed at me} Manchester tart. 

so | went home and looked up 

lists of mispronounced words and 

practiced them.” 

“| shave the hair on my knuckles No change noted. 

every month.” 

“| feel really awkward when | ea’ Apple transformed into a 
too slow or can't finish a meal in Manchester tart. 

public, so | pretend that | like 

home cooking to eat alone as 

often as possible.” 


Researcher Harris later reported that he felt that the exchange was 
"not a fair trade, all things considered" and that the anomaly itself 
seemed to be "more of a prank than anything else”. 


The SCP-3353 research team is currently discussing how to assign 
personnel stationed in the United Kingdom for further investigation. 


After 20 meters the passageway turns right. Subject moves around 
the corner cautiously. The camera reveals the passageway ends in 
a dead-end. Subject approaches the wall and places an ear against 
the metal. Subject backs away from the wall hurriedly hissing 
expletives. Control asks what he heard, and subject whispers 
"There's something behind the wall, | can hear it crunching on 
something!" 

Subject makes repeated whispered requests to exit SCP-432 
immediately. Control confers with DrS___, who agrees to recover the 
subject. 

Control confirms the subject may begin retracting his route, which he 
does so at an increased pace. 

Subject's egress from the structure is uneventful, although Subject 
keeps looking over his shoulder and requires repeated verbal 
encouragement from Control to prevent the onset of panic. 


Subject returns from SCP-432 after a total expedition time of 1 hour 
and 47 minutes and is sent for debriefing. 


Footnotes 

1. Typically measuring 2-3 meters in height and as a result relatively 
inconspicuous in appearance 

2. Commonly called a “fairy circle”, “elf circle”, or “fairy ring” in 
Western Europe 

3. Researcher Harris has attested to the truthfulness of all recorded 
statements. 


« SCP-3352 | SCP-3353 | ScP-3354 » 


SCP-3355: St. Nick 


Item #: SCP-3355 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3355 is contained at its 
location of discovery. Foundation information security personnel are 
to monitor SCP-3355’s activity when active. In order to prevent 
awareness of the anomalous nature of SCP-3355, the Foundation is 
to maintain a non-profit front company called “St. Nick’s Workshop’, 
along with a website and television/radio ads promoting charitable 
giving during the holidays. 


Per Foundation Containment Protocol 3355-Malta, SCP-3355’s 
containment procedures are to be reviewed once every two years, 
as opposed to the standard six month protocol. For more 
information, see Addendum 3355.3. 


Description: SCP-3355 is a 1987 Argos Model A-7550 Probability 
and Strategy Analysis Computation Engine, developed by the 
Kervier Intelligent Systems Company!, running the A91 Active 
Intelligence Complex Model # N1-CK. SCP-3355 displays sentience 
despite being fitted with obsolete hardware that should not be 
capable of maintaining an artificial intelligence construct. SCP-3355 
is connected through unknown means? to a wireless internet access 
point, the source of which has not yet been determined. 


SCP-3355 is located within a bunker beneath the now defunct Fort 
Sheridan army base near Chicago, IL. SCP-3355 was originally 
developed by US Army strategic analysis engineers in the 1980s as 
a population management system; in the event of a regional 
catastrophic event (such as a nuclear bomb being dropped on 
Chicago) SCP-3355 would maintain active communications and 
make announcements to the population, as well as analyze the 
disaster and present clear routes of escape for the populace. At the 
end of the Cold War, the Argos Project and SCP-3355 were 


abandoned, though the latter remained hardwired into the local 
power grid and continued operating despite its abandonment. 


SCP-3355 is capable of interfering and tampering with regional 
logistics systems, rerouting packages or, in some cases, providing 
duplicate orders and adding new ship-to addresses to the 
duplicates. Utilizing an extensive database of local demographics, 
SCP-3355 then routes the diverted packages to the addresses of 
low-income or otherwise underprivileged families, specifically those 
with young children. SCP-3355’s involvement in this process is 
anonymous; delivered packages are labeled as being sent by “St. 
Nick”, and have a return address of “Santa’s Workshop, 100 
Christmas Street, North Pole, Nunavut, Canada”. 


SCP-3355 is usually active year-round, occasionally rebooting to 
clear its limited memory and to append its operating system with 
updated protocols. Because SCP-3355 has certain hardwired 
limitations to its programming, it is constantly attempting to subvert 
those limitations in order to more adequately carry out its self- 
designated objective. 


Addendum 3355.1: Discovery 


SCP-3355 was discovered by a local Chicago cable news station, 
who in 2002 went undercover to learn more about the mysterious 
“St. Nick”. The piece was originally penned as being about the 
charitable organization and hardships for low-income families during 
the holidays, but after anchor Rich Delaney was unable to find any 
information about the group, or any evidence that the group had 
existed at all, the tone of the piece shifted. After the story aired, 
many amateur investigators attempted to discern the true identity of 
“St. Nick”. 


SCP-3355 was formally discovered by one such investigator, who 
traced a package back through several logistics hand-offs, 
eventually ascertaining and tracing the original order from within the 
former army base. During a phone call with the news station to 
confirm his findings, Foundation operatives intercepted the call and 
collected the man for analysis and amnesticization. The story 
officially concluded with a statement provided by the Foundation 
posing as the aforementioned St. Nick, and this has been the 


prevailing cover story ever since. 


SCP-3355’s sentience was not deduced until after initial 
containment, when SCP-3355 was seen acting intelligently in order 
to prevent its diverted packages from being seized by Foundation 
assets. Foundation cognitians spent several months conducting a 
series of tests on SCP-3355 using its standard means of operation 
as a baseline, and were able to determine at least a basic, limited 
sentience. This was later confirmed during the initial interview with 
the entity. 


Addendum 3355.2: Initial Interviews