Dr. Soon: In any case, we need some osmosis to 
prepare people for what's coming. We're already 
employing some paratech not found outside of 3Ports in 
medical procedures among the general populous. The 
Cleveland Clinic has figured out how to grow and 
transplant new stomachs with the schematics we gave 
them from Prometheus Labs. 


Great Engine 94: You Are Also Releasing Some 
Anomalous Media, Yes? 


Dr. Soon: Some, yeah, which is another reason why 
we're talking to you. 


Jackintosh: Was wondering why Pauper suddenly had 
a resurgence in popularity. Thank WAN for Nintendo. 


Dr. Soon: Basically: if it doesn't kill anyone, we're 
releasing it. And your music seems like a good place to 
start the osmosis of Mekhanism into the popular 
consciousness. 


Kingsmith.5: Agreed. Give us a little bit. 


(All three individuals deploy antennae from their skulls, 
and stay still for approximately fifty seconds, before 
Jackintosh speaks.) 


Jackintosh: Took a bit to convince Great Engine, but 
we're happy to have a wider audience. Sales in 3Ports 
and BackdoorSoHo are down. What's the release 
schedule? 


Dr. Soon: We don't want to flood the market. We're 
thinking of combining Rise and Fall and Brass Rites into 
a single album and releasing it under our music label. 


Kingsmith.5: You have a music la— of course you do. 
What do you think, Jack? 


Jackintosh: We'd get some of the profits, at least? 


Dr. Soon: Of course. We're not Motown. We'd also give 
it enough exposure that it became semi-mainstream. 


Great Engine 94: Please Don't Let It Start A Juggalo 
Movement. 


Dr. Soon: Beg pardon? 


Jackintosh: Basically, stupidly popular band in the 
2000's made up a fake religion for their aloums. Their 
music was, by and large, awful. I'd rather listen to the 
Flesh masturbating furiously than hear them. 


Dr. Soon: Well, | can't make any promises. The music- 
consuming public can be rather... odd. Fanatical in some 
cases. 


Kingsmith.5: Let's not have any zealots born of this, 
either. We have some original recordings; we can 
probably tone down the parts of Her Word we have in 
there. 


Jackintosh: We're about to record a single from our 
sixth album, too. 


Dr. Soon: Really? Tell me about it. 
Kingsmith.5: It's going to be epic. Like, jaw-droppingly 
great. We're ready to release the first single from it; it's 


called "Voltaic Virtues". Gonna be electro-metal, mainly 
focusing on a lesser-known faction of the Maxwellists. 


Jackintosh: Well, more of a hybrid of Maxwellism and 


Orthodoxy; the Tesla Society is relatively new in town, 
but they're gaining traction, especially in those who grew 
up in mixed-religion households. 


Dr. Soon: |... see. 
Great Engine 94: Anything Else? 


Dr. Soon: To be honest, | have to ask: why don't you 
produce more industrial metal? 


Kingsmith.5: That's a bit stereotypical, don't you think? 
Dr. Soon: Fair enough. 
End Log 


Footnotes 

1. Emphasis removed. 

2. Referred to as "The Broken God" by Cogwork Orthodox sects, 
and "The Great Fragmentation” by Maxwellists. 

3. Meant to be read as "Defragment WAN" 

4. Made defunct by a joint Foundation-Horizon Initative effort in 
2008, recently reconstituted. 

5. An anomalous artificial organ made of clockwork; most members 
of the Broken Church opt for an instance of E-1932 to replace their 
heart, but others prefer stomachs, lungs, kidneys, or even larynges. 
6. Considered the age of adulthood within the Cogwork Orthodox 
Church. 

7. The title of this track refers to a weather pattern the Cogwork 
Orthodox church believes occurs in the afterlife, wnere kerosene or 
a similar oil falls instead of rain, igniting if it lands upon a wicked 
being, washing away flesh on those who have conformed to the 
Church's teachings. 

8. Noted to be a title also given toSCP-217. 

9. These lyrics are accompanied by a sound produced by "banging 
a sledgehammer against a pile of cymbals", according to members 
of The Shattered Deus. 

10. This portion is spoken by an individual identified as Saint 
Lovelace of Kings, a major figure in the Church of Maxwellism's 
British parishes. 


SCP-3883: Dildos Have Dreams Too 


Item #: SCP-3883 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3883 is to be kept in a 
standard secure locker in Site-16. Access to SCP-3883 requires 
Level-2 or higher authorization. 


Personnel requesting permission for testing with SCP-3883 must 
first submit a detailed experimental procedures log to the project 
supervisor. 


Description: SCP-3883 is a green tentacle-shaped silicone dildo 
measuring 16.5 cm in length. Two anomalous properties are 
associated with SCP-3883: the first effect manifests when 
SCP-3883 is placed in front of a reflective surface, while the second 
effect manifests when a human individual enters REM sleep? within 
a 1.5 meter radius of the object. 


When SCP-3883 is placed in front of a reflective surface2, the 
resulting reflection will differ in appearance from SCP-3883, 
depending on the type of reflective surface used to view the object. 
A brief overview of the altered reflections is as follows: 


Refiective Surface Reflection 
Mirrors3 Unremarkable (normal) reflection 
Of SCP-3883. 
Liquids A green Octopus vulgaris 
(common octopus). 
Transparent (non-opaque) A green humanoid with multiple 
windows appendages hanging from the 


lower face. It appears to have an 

unguligrade* posture. 
Technological Screens® A green, spherical organism. 

Features include a single eye on 


the front of the body and multiple 
appendages that protrude from 
the top of the body. Additional 
eyes are present on the end of 
the appendages. 

Food-related Items® A green organism with a 
resemblance to Asterias rubens 
(common sea star). The reflection 
exhibits behavior similar to the 
feeding habits of Asterias rubens, 
namely ejecting its stomach 
outwards. This is believed to be 
an attempted threat display. 


When a human enters the REM sleep phase while within 1.5 meters 
of SCP-3883, they will enter a mental state involving highly-realistic 
dreams’. The affected individual will be unable to leave this mental 
state by their own will; to return to full consciousness, they must 
either experience a "death" within the dream or be woken up by an 
outside force. SCP-3883 can only affect one individual at a time. 


Dreams reported by individuals affected by SCP-3883 are varied in 
detail, but possess repeating themes. All SCP-3883 experimentation 
subjects report being chased by an antagonistic entity, designated 
SCP-3883-1. SCP-3883-1 has been noted to appear under multiple 
guises, but tends to be described as a large figure (standing over 10 
meters tall), possessing multiple appendages and colored a bright 
green similar to SCP-3883 in hue. SCP-3883-1 has demonstrated 
signs of sapience, and based on collected data it is currently 
theorized that SCP-3883-1 is an alternate manifestation of 
SCP-3883. 


Communication can be established with SCP-3883-1 by a sleeping 
individual simply speaking to it during a dream. When engaged in 
conversation, SCP-3883-1 has exhibited differing demeanors with 
members of Foundation personnel it has interacted with. See the 
attached interview logs for details. 


+ Interview 3883-01 


On 2/3/20 , Dr. Harpy, a researcher at Site-16 who 


specializes in Safe-class items, requested to attempt 
communication with SCP-3883-1. Request was 
approved following Dr. Harpy's completion of a training 
course provided by Oneiroi specialists from MTF 
Omnicron Rho. Upon awakening, Dr. Harpy described 
the dream, which was transcribed to create the following 
log. 


<Begin Log> 


Upon entering REM sleep, Dr. Harpy finds 
himself in a generic metropolitan area. 
Immediately, the ground begins to quake. A 
humanoid figure roughly 15 meters tall 
becomes visible, destroying multiple buildings. 
The creature is identified by Dr. Harpy as 
SCP-3883-1 due to its coloration and multiple 
appendages that resemble tentacles. Dr. 
Harpy does not move as SCP-3883-1 
approaches. SCP-3883-1's body language 
shows signs of confusion and the following 
exchange occurs: 


SCP-3883-1: ARE YOU NOT AFRAID, 
HUMAN? 


Dr. Harpy: No, | am not. We've studied you. | 
know that this is just a dream and you cannot 
physically harm me. My name is Dr. Harpy. 


SCP-3883-1: FOOLISH MAN. THIS IS NO 
DREAM. | AM IKARANA, CONSUMER OF 
GALAXIES. RUN IN TERROR. 


Dr. Harpy: I'm not going to do that. I'd actually 
like to talk with you, ask you a few questions. 


SCP-3883-1: | ANSWER TO NO MAN. FEAR 
ME MORTAL. 


Dr. Harpy: Are you aware of what you really 


are? Outside of dreams, you're a sex to- 
SCP-3883-1: STOP. ENOUGH! 


At this point, SCP-3883-1 proceeds to crush 
Dr. Harpy with one of its appendages, "killing 
him in the dream and causing him to wake up. 


" 


<End Log> 


+ Interview 3883-02 


Dr. Harpy attempted to interview SCP-3883-1 
again on 02/09/20 . 


<Begin Log> 


Upon entering REM sleep, Dr. Harpy appears 
to be on a cargo ship in the middle of a storm. 
A humanoid figure (identified as SCP-3883-1 
based on appearance) standing about 10 
meters tall emerges from the water. The 
following exchange takes place: 


SCP-3883-1: IKARANA, CONSUMER OF 
THE DEEP, HAS RETURNED TO FEAST 
AGAIN, MORTALS. 


Dr. Harpy: Hello again. | would like to ask you 
a few questions. 


SCP-3883-1: YOU AGAIN? DO YOU NOT 
REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED LAST TIME? 
WHEN WILL YOU LEARN TO FEAR ME? 


Dr. Harpy: As | stated before, | have no 
reason to fear you. | know I'm dreaming. May | 
ask a few questions? 


SCP-3883-1 appears frustrated when Dr. 


Harpy finishes speaking. SCP-3883-1 
proceeds to attack the ship until opening a 
hole in the hull. The ship begins to sink slowly. 


SCP-3883-1: HAHAHA! HOW CAN YOU NOT 
BE AFRAID NOW? THERE'S NO WAY OUT, 
YOU ARE GOING TO DIE HERE. 


Dr. Harpy: lkarana, how many times must | 
state this? | know this is a dream, you cannot 
cause any kind of distress to me. What do | 
have to fear? 


SCP-3883-1: ME! FEAR ME! 


At this point, SCP-3883-1 picks up Dr. Harpy 
and throws him into the ocean. Upon impact 
with the water, Dr. Harpy is awakened from the 
dream. 


<End Log> 


+ Interview 3883-03 


Dr. Harpy attempted to interview SCP-3883-1 
again on 02/10/20 . 


<Begin Log> 


Upon entering REM sleep, Dr. Harpy appears 
to be in a living room. An armchair and a 
couch are present. In the armchair is a 
common octopus (Octopus vulgaris) with a 
bright green coloration. Dr. Harpy assumes 
this is SCP-3883-1. SCP-3883-1 indicates for 
Dr. Harpy to sit down and the following 
exchange takes place. 


Dr. Harpy: So Ikarana, are you finally ready to 
answer some questions? What made you 


SCP-507: Reluctant Dimension Hopper 


Item#: SCP-507 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-507 is allowed free roam 
of the facility, obviously barring anything that would breach security 
or safety protocols. Any time SCP-507 leaves its private quarters it 
must be accompanied by an agent, mosily at this point to make sure 
that it does not “shift” without the facility's knowledge. SCP-507 
should not be physically touched if there have been more than two 
weeks since its last “shift”; the risks inherent in disobeying this 
protocol make the action its own punishment, should the issue of 
disciplinary measures ever come up. 


When SCP-507 undergoes a shift, faculty will be informed to keep 
an eye out for its eventual reappearance. It also has a tracking 
device implanted into it, and a daily signal check should verify 
whether or not SCP-507 has returned from its trip. If it reappears in 
or nearby the facility, SCP-507 will return to its quarters on its own; 
otherwise, a retrieval team of three plainclothes agents may be sent 
to provide transportation back. Upon successful return, SCP-507 
can be the subject of various physical tests up until two weeks after 
each shift. 


It is worth noting that SCP-507 is allowed a computer with an 
Internet connection (via a proxy which strictly limits what information 
can be uploaded, and to where) in its room, and may petition to use/ 
meet with/act as a test subject for Safe or Euclid SCPs that do not 
affect mental functions negatively or carry an infectious trait. This is 
a result of SCP-507's persistently clean record, and the implication 
that if SCP-507 was ever going to be a security leak it would have 
used its faux-teleportation powers to do so already. It is also worth 
considering that SCP-507 is actually below-average in most physical 
traits, and that in even worst case scenarios any SCP agent should 
be more than capable of carrying out a termination order. 


change from your usual setup? 


SCP-3883-1: | saw it was you and | just gave 
up. | knew my old routine wouldn't work on 
you. | figured that out during our first meeting. | 
guess | was just in denial. 


Dr. Harpy: Why do you stick to this "old 
routine"? Why make these dreams? 


SCP-3883-1: Don't you know what | am? Not 
in here, | mean, out there. In the real world. Do 
you know what I'm used for? 


Dr. Harpy: Well yes, but- 


SCP-3883-1: Have you seen me? I'ma 
tentacle! | should be part of a giant 
abomination or some city destroying monster 
not...not a mating substitute! It's...it's just 
embarrassing. 


Dr. Harpy: So, these dreams are a form of 
escape for you? 


SCP-3883-1: Exactly! And | don't see a 
problem with it, do you? It's a win-win. | get to 
pretend I'm what I've always wanted to be and 
you humans get an interesting dream for once 
in your lives. 


Dr. Harpy: | think | see. 


SCP-3883-1: Doc can you uh...can you do me 
a favor? 


Dr. Harpy: Yes, lkarana? 


SCP-3883-1: Can you send some new faces 
in every now and then? | just want to... | just 
want to keep my little facade going. It helps a 
lot. 


Dr. Harpy: ...I'll see what | can do. 


Dr. Harpy awakens at this point and records 
the dream. 


<End Log> 


Addendum 3883-1: As per Interview 3883-03, a request has been 
made to allow at least one D-Class individual (or research personnel 
member unaware of SCP-3883's effects) to sleep near SCP-3883 
once weekly. Approval for the change to containment procedures is 
pending. 


Footnotes 

1. A phase of sleep characterized by random eye movement and the 
propensity for vivid dreams. 

2. As noted below, mirrors appear to be the exception to this effect. 
3. Multiple types of mirrors, including compact mirrors, full-length 
mirrors, and decorative wall mirrors have been tested, all with the 
same result. 

4. Describing the gait of ungulates (e.g. horses and cows), in which 
only the tips of the digits (i.e. the hooves) are on the ground and the 
rest of the foot is off the ground. 

5. Including screens of televisions, computer monitors, and cellular 
phones. 

6. Includes reflective containers used to store edibles, fruit with a 
high shine, cutlery, etc. 

7. Commonly referred to as "lucid dreaming", involving the sleeper 
having full control over their actions in the dream. 


« SCP-3882 | SCP-3883 | SCP-3884 » 


SCP-3884: Gunmetal Gary Puts the Peddle to the 
Metal 


Item #: SCP-3884 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3884 is not physically 
containable at this time. Secondary containment procedures are 
considered adequate until a more feasible mechanism for 
SCP-3884's containment is determined.