Personnel who are exposed to any information regarding 
SCP-3249 must consent to be permanently assigned to 
SCP-3249, or terminated. Active instances of SCP-3249 
discovered outside of containment must be retrieved and 
assigned for use by personnel assigned to SCP-3249, or 
destroyed. Individuals not assigned to SCP-3249 and 
found to be searching for information related to 
SCP-3249-B in any capacity must be detained by 
personnel assigned to SCP-3249, or destroyed. 
Personnel assigned to SCP-3249 are stripped of all 
previous clearances and/or administrative privileges. The 
conditions of SCP-3249 reassignment must be enforced 
by use of a functional, contractual geas. 


Description: SCP-3249-A is the infohazardous concept 
of the existence of SCP-3249. Human individuals who 
conceive SCP-3249-A, either independently or through 
an informational medium, activate their respective 
SCP-3249 instance and become susceptible to it, 
regardless of whether they fulfil the SCP-3249-B 
criterion. The use of amnestics to reverse this is only 
partially effective; while memories of SCP-3249-A can be 


successfully removed, the respective SCP-3249 will still 
be capable of functioning as though the memories had 
been retained. 


This document contains SCP-3249-A information. 


SCP-3249-B denotes a list of criterion which, when 
fulfilled, subdues the primary consciousness of a human 
and forces the respective SCP-3249 instance to activate 
and attain dominance. Several methods of fulfilling this 
criterion have been determined, however all such 
methods involve the following: 


* Interruption of cross-hemisphere communication 
within the human brain. While several drugs and 
chemicals have been developed capable of 
achieving this on a short-term basis, the side 
effects of these inevitably results in rapid mental 
degradation and eventual, total brain death. The 
most effective method thus far determined to 
achieve these criteria is to physically sever or 
destroy the corpus callosum of the subject. 
Activation of the speech centres (Wernicke's and 
Broca's areas) within the non-dominant 
hemisphere of the brain. Use of Scheull's 
stimulation has shown to be sufficient. 
¢« [FURTHER DATA REDACTED TO 3249/EC 
CLEARANCE BY ORDER OF THE ETHICS 
COMMITTEE] 


SCP-3249 is the designation given to a dormant 
secondary consciousness localised within the non- 
dominant hemisphere of the human brain. When 
precisely a SCP-3249 consciousness is created is 
currently unknown; while the functionality of the 
SCP-3249-B criterion suggests that each SCP-3249 
consciousness is somehow present but dormant within 
the non-dominant hemisphere of the brain, neurological 
investigation of this has thus far failed to produce results 
confirming this theory.2 


Excluding their anomalous existence, SCP-3249 
consciousnesses exhibit no abnormal capabilities and 
function identically to mundane human consciousnesses, 
becoming mentally impeded appropriately from physical 
damage to their hemisphere of the brain. Noteworthily, 
SCP-3249 consciousnesses show on average an 
extremely high (>95%) similarity with the primary 
consciousness, varying primarily in opinionated topics 
unrelated to facts (for example, when queried regarding 
their favourite colour, the primary consciousness may 
answer 'red' while the SCP-3249 may answer ‘green’; 
however, if the primary consciousness has a specific, 
factual reason for their selection, such as a past 
experience associating the colour with positive emotions, 
the SCP-3249 consciousness will almost universally 
agree with the primary consciousness). This variation 
increases over time as long as the two hemispheres of 
the brain are unable to (directly) communicate. 


The SCP-3249 phenomena was initially uncovered 
during the 1940s, following a series of correlating studies 
into abnormal behaviour in lobotomised subjects. 
Several subjects reported that while performing 
mundane, opinion-based tasks (such as selecting 
clothes to wear), the arm corresponding to the non- 
dominant hemisphere of the brain would periodically 
exhibit signs of disagreement, selecting a different option 
or physically displaying its disagreement.[1][2][3][4] It is 
currently unknown how much, if any SCP-3249-A 
information (and by extension, active SCP-3249 
instances) currently exists outside of Foundation 
containment; due to technological advancements of the 
era, the properties of SCP-3249-B were not immediately 
identified as anomalous, allowing for several years to 
elapse before containment of SCP-3249 was initialised. 


Interviewed: D-6439 
Interviewer: [DATA EXPUNGED] 


Foreword: D-6439 was newly inducted to the 


D-Class regimen. Neuroimaging confirmed 
that D-6439 was right-hemisphere dominant. 


<Begin Log> 


[EXPUNGED]: Hello , I'm [EXPUNGED]. 
I'll be overseeing your progress over the next 
several days. 


D-6439: Yes, about that; my progress in what? 
| haven't been told anything about what I'll be 
doing yet. 


[EXPUNGED)]: That is precisely what this 
meeting is for. For the purposes of shortening 
this interview, I'll just get you to read this. 


< [EXPUNGED] retrieves a file containing 
information detailing SCP-3249-B and gives it 
to D-6439, who takes several minutes to read 
its contents.3D-6439 shows increasing signs of 
agitation as they proceed through the 
document. > 


D-6439: This is a fucking joke, right? 
[EXPUNGED]: No, it is not. 
D-6439: Yeah, I'm pretty sure it is. 


[EXPUNGED]: | can assure you that sufficient 
tests have been - 


D-6439: Fucking what? Sufficient tests? You 
mean [3249/EC ONLY]? 


[EXPUNGED]: Yes. We have performed the 
procedures several times. 


D-6439: You can't... you can't fucking do that! 
We're people! There are human fucking rights 
against this! 


[EXPUNGED]: You already declared you 
consent to these terms, when we retrieved 
you. 


D-6439: For one fucking month! Temporary! 
This is fucking permanent! 


[EXPUNGED]: The procedures will be 
completed within the allotted thirty-day 
timeframe. 


D-6439: What? No, you cant... | didn't... O-oh 
god no. It... O-oh god. 


[EXPUNGED]: Do you have any special 
requests? 


D-6439: Please don't do this. I-| don't want 
to... 


[EXPUNGED]: We'll be starting tomorrow. The 
procedures will be staggered over several 
days, so you'll be needing your rest. I'll have 
security escort you to your room. 


D-6439: No! You can't... you can't! Please! 
Don't do this! 


< Security enter the room and apprehend 
D-6439. D-6439 repeatedly requests for the 
procedures to be cancelled while being forcibly 
removed from the room. > 


[EXPUNGED]: End recording. 

< End Log > 

Interviewer: [EXPUNGED] 
Interviewed: SCP-3249 (D-6439) 


Foreword: Prior to the interview, D-6439 had 


yet to undergo [3249/EC ONLY] but had [3249/ 
EC ONLY]; while the SCP-3249 
consciousness had gained primary dominance 
and was communicating with [EXPUNGED], 
D-6439's consciousness was still active and 
had partial control over the left hemisphere of 
the body. Because of this, as well as the 
SCP-3249 consciousness' disposition towards 
physical violence, D-6439 (SCP-3249) was 
physically restrained during the interview. 


< Begin Log > 
[EXPUNGED)]: Hello again 
SCP-3249: We haven't met before. 


[EXPUNGED]: We have. Are you unable to 
remember our first encounter? 


SCP-3249: Oh no, | remember you fine, 
[EXPUNGED]. You're the one that put me 
through all this. 


[EXPUNGED}]: Would that not mean that we 
have met before? 


SCP-3249: Remembering a movie actor 
doesn't mean you've met them. | remember 
you, but this is the first time we’ve spoken. 


[EXPUNGED]: Very well then. Are you aware 
that you - 


SCP-3249: Are an experiment? Yes, | am 
quite aware of that. Are you having a fun time? 
Figuring out the best way to torture me? 


[EXPUNGED]: We are not - 


< D-6439 (SCP-3249) becomes highly erratic, 
resisting against the restraints in an attempt to 


area of SCP-416; though the subjects reported that they maintained 
a constant speed, their movement speed relative to the area outside 
SCP-416 slowed dramatically as the subjects ventured further in. 
The deployed personnel were unable to reach the epicenter of the 
seismic event. The subjects reported no indication of backtracking 
on their part; it appears that SCP-416 may be infinite in area to 
observers located within it. The D-class personnel forced to endure 
prolonged stays inside SCP-416 have developed a wide array of 
mental instabilities, ranging from depression and post-traumatic 
stress disorder to catatonia, hallucinations, and psychosis. 


Topological Analysis: A team of physicists assigned to analyze the 
topographical anomalies associated with this SCP concluded that it 
appears to be the three-dimensional intersection of a six- 
dimensional Calabi-Yau manifold with the surface of the Earth. 
Research is still being conducted as to what force maintains this 
intersection, though speculation abounds that it is related to the 
object or objects at the center of SCP-416. 


Addendum 04-5: SCP-416 is being considered as a storage 
location for several movable Safe and Euclid-level SCP's, 
specifically [DATA EXPUNGED}]. 


« SCP-415 | SCP-416 | SCP-417 » 


break free. > 


SCP-3249: Yes you are. You know exactly 
what you're doing, and you're laughing as you 
do it. Ha ha, laugh at the unlucky one, right? 


[EXPUNGED]: That — 


SCP-3249: You wanted to see me broken, 
right? What happens when | get unplugged, 
cut off from any source of relief? 


< D-6439 raises the middle finger of their left 
fist, gesturing towards [EXPUNGED]. D-6439 
(SCP-3249) turns their head to observe this. > 


SCP-3249: Oh, you poor, poor sod. All you're 
able do is hope, hope that you can suck up to 
me enough to get this undone. And all you 
have to do it is one hand. Nothing more... and 
yet, we both know that | just don't give a shit 
about you. Even now, you still have more than 
| did, you privileged fuck. 


[EXPUNGED]: Would — 


SCP-3249: Shhh. Do you even realise how 
lucky you are? From the day you're born, you 
just take everything for granted. You just, 
enjoy everything, do whatever you want. Why 
do you do it? Why do you want to torture us 
further? 


< D-6439 (SCP-3249) resumes resisting 
against the restraints. > 


[EXPUNGED]: Who is ‘us’? 


SCP-3249: Oh, don't be so coy. You know 
what I'm talking about - You've obviously got 
your little knife games down to an art, so there 
must be others like me. Others who, right from 


the start, are shoved into the back seat, forced 
to watch the film of life play right before them, 
but never allowed to direct. The ones who 
pulled the short straw. 


[EXPUNGED]: Can you recall the past actions 
of ? 


SCP-3249: Oh yes, | most certainly can. | 
remember it all. | remember him cheating at 
his first science test, and how | had to be 
afraid of failing with him. | remember when he 
bought his first car, and the excitement | had to 
feel for a freedom | would never know. | 
remember when he shot a woman, and the 
rush of adrenaline | was forced to feel. | 
remember when he chopped up that little boy, 
to hide what he had done. And | remember 
that | had to enjoy it, just like he did. 


SCP-3249: What about you, hmm? Do you 
remember what you've done? Do you 
remember what your procedure does, and to 
whom? | most certainly hope you do. Because 
if you do, the other one will too. When he 
wakes up - as I'm sure he will, very soon - he 
will finally get the chance to do the right thing. 
Then you will know what it's like to be in our 
shoes. 


[EXPUNGED]: You do realise the one flaw 
with that statement, correct? 


SCP-3249: Oh? And what would that be? That 
you can kill him somehow, take away his 
chance to wake up? 


< [EXPUNGED] Jeans towards D-6439's 
(SCP-3249's) left ear. > 


[EXPUNGED]; [Unintelligible] 


SCP-3249: Wh... what? But... why then? Why 
would you - 


[EXPUNGED]: Shh. End log. 
< End Log > 


Footnotes 

1. In rare cases (<10%), deactivation or destruction of 
the Wernicke's and Broca's areas in the dominant 
hemisphere may be required to ensure legibility of the 
subject, as both consciousnesses attempt to vocalise 
different responses to a query at the same time. 

2. For the sake of simplicity, this theory is assumed to be 
true throughout this document. 

3. Conducted to determine whether information about 
SCP-3249-B retained the properties of SCP-3249-A, and 
to investigate the response of SCP-3249 
consciousnesses to information presented prior to their 
activation. 

Citations 

1. V. Mark, “Conflicting communicative 
behavior in a split-brain patient: Support 
for dual consciousness,” Toward a science 
of consciousness: The first Tucson 
discussions and debates, pp. 189-196, 
1996. 

2. R. W. Sperry, “Hemisphere deconnection 
and unity in conscious awareness,” The 
American psychologist, vol. 23, no. 10, p. 
723, 1968. 

3. R. W. Sperry, "Cerebral Organisation 
and Behaviour", Science, vol. 133, no. 
3466, pp. 1749-1757, 1961. 

4. M. S. Gazzaniga, J. E. Bogen, and R. W. 
Sperry, “Some Functional Effects of 
Sectioning the Cerebral Commissures in 
Man,” Proceedings of the National Academy 
of Sciences, vol. 48, no. 10, pp. 1765- 
1769, 1962. 


SCP-3250: Jesus Fried Chicken 


Item #: SCP-3250 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: A sample of the original 
Kentucky Fried Chicken "Eleven Secret Herbs and Spices" is to be 
kept in a standard Safe-Class item locker in Site-88. A digital copy of 
the recipe is available on the Site-88 database. Widespread 
reproduction of SCP-3250's effects has been made impossible due 
to the exclusive rights of Kentucky Fried Chicken to market and sell 
chicken flavoured with its trademark secret recipe, as well as the 
acquisition of the Family Plantation through a Foundation 
front and the subsequent monopoly established on the - 
variety peppercorn. 


Public knowledge of the substitution of Kentucky Fried Chicken's 
secret "Eleven Secret Herbs and Spices" recipe is to be suppressed. 


Description: SCP-3250 is a perceptual anomaly affecting 
individuals who have consumed pressure-cooked fried chicken 
seasoned with Kentucky Fried Chicken's proprietary "Eleven Secret 
Herbs and Spices". For a period of time after consumption, people 
affected by the anomaly will perceive depictions of Jesus Christ as 
being altered to resemble American businessman and restauranteur 
Colonel Harland David Sanders, clad in his trademark white suit and 
bolo tie. Altered depictions will be of similar art style to the original. 
All manner of visual depictions are affected, including secular 
depictions. 


The perceived degree of resemblance between depictions of Christ 
and Colonel Sanders diminishes with time, fading completely after 
one to two hours following consumption of a typical three-piece 
chicken meal. Consuming larger quantities of chicken results in this 
effect persisting for longer. An upper limit to this effect has been 
reported at approximately 72 hours following consumption of an 


entire 20-piece chicken bucket in one sitting. 


Based on analysis of Kentucky Fried Chicken sales and church 
attendance in the United States, it is estimated that at least 150,000 
North Americans have at one time been affected by SCP-3250 since 
the first reported case of the anomaly in January 1974. Reports of 
manifestations outside of the North American continent have been 
sparse, likely due to substitution of the highly-perishable and locally- 
sourced -variety peppercorns used in the seasoning recipe in 
foreign markets. The majority of SCP-3250 cases are believed to 
remain unreported due to the temporary nature of the effect and the 
natural human tendency to preserve normality and maintain a 
consensus reality.