Offspring, we can watch them in perpetuity. We'll 
join the millions. Sitting here on this violet cloud. 
Laughing at the humans. 


Let me give you a brief rundown of what goes on 
over there, aeons away, on Meschk-Vordhosbn. 
First, it was plants. That was unstimulating. Then 


came the ridiculous squealing mammals. Then, 
finally, there came the first human. We enjoyed 
humans, so we familiarised ourselves with them, 
and they sent more. The first of the three new 
humans were Clueless, the fourth was delightful. 
The fifth was a disappointment despite the fourth's 
promise. The sixth was insane. And the seventh is 
here with us. You've heard of him. 


They call him 12935. 
He hates it here. 
Sound appealing? 


Good. You must appreciate the work that goes into 
this. It's a hard job to organise. It's only a mere 
team of four, did you know? Who knows how far 
they travelled to achieve this. | hope you'll look up 
to them someday. 


Offspring, we too can laugh. 


We can be entertained. We can feast our optic 
lobes on flocks after flocks of human astronauts, 
turned inside-out, having their vocal 
comprehensions reversed so that we can split our 
sides. 


We can watch their bloodied remains get taken to 
Epmn where they'll be singed, semi-torrefied, 
burned like anthropoid hogs on a spit. Because it's 
hilarious. 


Why not? 


Exactly. 


Sit down, offspring. This is quality entertainment. 


Footnotes 


1. Both timecodes pertaining to SCP-2222's interior/exterior 
surveillance displayed the date and time as 1616 GMT on 23/0/20 . 


« SCP-2221 | SCP-2222 | SCP-2223 » 


SCP-2223: Spamdexing Anime Images 


Safe screenshot of SCP-2223's anomalous effect. SCP-2223-1 


ranked fifth on an image search for "grapes". Click to enlarge. 


Item #: SCP-2223 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: All known versions of 
SCP-2223 are to be stored on an external drive stored in Secure 
Containment Locker 23C at Site-15. Access to copies of SCP-2223 
may be granted for research purposes by one Level 3 researcher. 
Direct display of versions SCP-2223-5 and later is not permitted, 
even through previews or thumbnails. SCP-2223 versions are to be 
handled only through indirect computational analysis. 


Protocol 56-Ackermann is the only currently known method for 
suppressing new versions of SCP-2223. A simplified overview of the 
theoretical framework behind Protocol 56-Ackermann is provided 
below — specialized personnel assigned to SCP-2223 with extensive 
background in mathematics and computer science should refer to 
Document 2223-56-Ackermann for further technical details on 
implementation and sensitive information on proprietary search 
algorithms. 


Protocol 56-Ackermann: 


+ Excerpt from Document 2223-56- 
Ackermann, Section II: Detection of SCP-2223 


Protocol 56-Ackermann requires a modification to the 
PageRank algorithm used by internet search engines. 
Under the assumption of a random-surfer model with a 
damping factor $d$ and $N$ pages or images, one can 
consider a PageRank metric $PR$, a critical factor in 
ranking search results: 


(1) 
\begin{align} PR(p_i) = \frac{1-d}{N} + d \sum 
\frac{PR(p_j)}{L(p_j)} \end{align} 


Summed over pages with inbound links to $p_i$ where 
$p$ represents a page and $L(p_j)$ outputs the number 
of outbound links from $p_j$. One can represent this 
system of linear equations as the following linear 
transformation: 


(2) 

\begin{align} \left[ \oegin{array}{cc} PR(p_1) \\ \vdots \\ 
PR(p_N)\end{array} \right] = \vec{P} = \left[ \oegin{array} 
{cc} \frac{1-d}{N} \\ \vdots \\ \frac{1-d}{N}\end{array} 
\right] + d \left[ \begin{array}{ccc} \ell(p_1,p 1) & \cdots & 
\ell(p_1,p_N)\\ \vdots & \ddots & \vdots \\ \ell(p_N,p_1) & 
\cdots & \ell(p_N,p_N)\end{array} \right]\vec{P} = \left( 
\frac{1-d}{N} \mathbf{J_N} + d\mathbf{M} \right ) \vec{P} 
= \mathbf{A}\vec{P} \end{align} 


Where $\ell(p_i,p_j)$ is 0 if $0_j$ does not link to $p_i$ 
and otherwise some non-zero value normalized such 
that the columns of the matrix $\mathbf{M}$ are 
stochastic. $\mathbf{J_N}$ is a matrix filled with 1's and 
is guaranteed to return $\vec{1}$ due to the stochastic 
nature of vector $\vec{P}$. The unique solution vector $ 
\vec{P}$ represents the eigenvector associated with the 
eigenvalue 1 for matrix $\mathbf{A}$ and yields the 
PageRank values used in search result ranking. The 
eigenvalue 1 is the largest such eigenvalue and thus 
efficient methods for retrieving dominant eigenvectors, 
like power iteration, may be used (see Section III: 
Computational Methods for further details). 


Although ordinary methods of directly distinguishing new 
SCP-2223 instances fail due to its anomalous properties, 
Foundation computer science researchers found that 
SCP-2223 instances have the property of being an 
element of an irreducible closed subset of the graph 
modeling connections between internet pages/images. 
This allowed for the development of Protocol 56- 


Ackermann and an avenue for containing new versions 
of SCP-2223. 


The matrix $\mathbf{A}$ is guaranteed a spectral gap 
greater than or equal to $1 - d$ for damping factor $d§, 
and the spectral gap is equal to $1 - d$ if $\mathbf{A}$ 
models a graph with two or more irreducible closed 
subsets. Protocol 56-Ackermann requires the calculation 
of the second-most dominant eigenvector, an operation 
that can be efficiently achieved using algorithms like the 
block power method or Tarjan's algorithm (see Section 
III: Computational Methods for further details). 


For each entry corresponding to $p_j$ in the second 
eigenvector $\vec{v_{\lambda_2}}$, $p_j$ is an element 
of an irreducible closed subset if $\left( 
\vec{v_{\lambda_2}} \right)_j$ is non-zero. In accordance 
with Protocol 56-Ackermann, images with this property 
are removed and thus SCP-2223 instances are filtered 
from image search results!. 


Protocol 56-Ackermann modifies the PageRank algorithm used in 
search engines affected by SCP-2223 to rank relevance of search 
results. PageRank formulates a system of linear equations modeling 
a network of connected pages and images, which can then be 
expressed in the general form $A\vec{x} = \vec{b}$ for matrix A and 
vectors x and b. Protocol 56-Ackermann finds the eigenvector? for 
the second-largest eigenvalue of the matrix A (PageRank retrieves 
page importance data from the dominant eigenvector associated 
with the largest eigenvalue). Using data from the second-most 
dominant eigenvector, Protocol 56-Ackermann determines whether 
an image satisfies the property of being in an irreducible closed 
subset indicative of a possible SCP-2223 version. If the image 
satisfies this property, it is excluded from search results and thus 
new versions of SCP-2223 are suppressed. 


In the event of a failure of Protocol 56-Ackermann, the Foundation 
will request a takedown of the new SCP-2223 instance from its host 
website through a front company for visual copyright violation. 
Foundation network security experts will forcibly remove the 
instance if the host website does not do so within one hour. 


A catalog of previous SCP-2223 instance metadata and filenames is 
to be maintained for all efforts pertaining to the elimination of copies 
of known SCP-2223 instances. Foundation web crawlers are to 
regularly scan the internet for images matching the filename or 
metadata of catalogued SCP-2223 instances. Social media sites are 
to be given special priority due to their past prominence as 
SCP-2223 dissemination vectors. Foundation agents are to be 
dispatched to administer class-C amnestics to individuals possibly 
exposed to the cognitohazardous effect of SCP-2223. 


The SCP Foundation has enlisted the cooperation of major antivirus 
and computer security firms in the elimination of offline known 
SCP-2223 instances. All major antivirus software will identify any file 
matching known SCP-2223 metadata or filenames as malware and 
will permanently remove it. 


Description: SCP-2223 is a collection of digital PNG images that 
depict a female human of an indeterminate young age in the style of 
Japanese animation. Each distinct image version is designated 
SCP-2223-1 through SCP-2223-6. SCP-2223 most commonly 
depicts its subject with a red and white school uniform, although 
certain instances have shown alternative or absent attire. Although 
the exact portrayal of the subject of SCP-2223 varies across 
instances, physical characteristics such as eye color, hair color, and 
bodily proportions remain constant in all versions of SCP-2223. This 
has led the team assigned to SCP-2223 to conclude that all 
SCP-2223 versions were intended to depict a single entity 
designated SCP-2223-A. It remains unknown whether SCP-2223-A 
is intended to resemble a real-life person or a character in an 
existing fictional work. 


The primary anomalous effect of all SCP-2223 versions is their 
ability to manipulate search algorithms to rank them near the top of 
the results for certain keyword or phrase inputs to which they would 
ordinarily be irrelevant (within top ten results without Protocol 56- 
Ackermann interference). Example keywords manipulated by 
SCP-2223 include "grapes", "crepes", "aquarius", "periodic table", 
"mapquest", and "US Senate" (see Document 2223-Keywords for 
full list). SCP-2223's method of arbitrarily manipulating PageRank 
and VisualRank calculations is currently unknown and presumed to 


be anomalous. 


Attempts to read SCP-2223 versions through image processing 
algorithms and alternative methods fail. Pixel-by-pixel reprocessing, 
application of memetic filters, printing, and attempted modification of 
an SCP-2223 instance's image (including drawing, erasure, and 
other operations) yield only grey visual static. Additionally, despite 
obvious differences to the human eye, computers report high 
similarity between SCP-2223 and images visually unrelated to 
SCP-2223 but relevant to SCP-2223-affected keywords. 
Comparison of SCP-2223 instances to images relevant to applicable 
keywords using local feature vectors extracted from the scale- 
invariant feature transform, the algorithm used in VisualRank-based 
image searches, outputs a high (>90%) correspondence, while 
similar results are obtained from other image comparison 
algorithms. 


SCP-2223-1 through 4 display no other anomalous properties. 


As of SCP-2223-5, SCP-2223 versions exhibit an additional 
cognitohazardous effect. Any human who views an instance of 
SCP-2223 will feel a strong compulsion to share the image through 
any means possible. Downloading the image and sharing it via 
social media and websites is the most common vector for 
dissemination. Individuals under the effect of SCP-2223 have also 
commonly used email and direct presentation via phones and other 
screens. Infected individuals precluded from sharing digital copies of 
SCP-2223 will resort to drawing a non-anomalous reproduction 
within the individual’s natural artistic ability. Individuals entirely 
precluded from sharing SCP-2223 exhibit mild annoyance and 
discontent, although no serious psychological or physiological harm 
has been observed. The cognitohazardous effect can be neutralized 
with a class-C amnestic. 


As of version SCP-2223-6, SCP-2223 (or its possible creator) has 
demonstrated knowledge of classified Foundation information and 
the potential to disseminate it to the public. 


Discovery Log: SCP-2223 was brought to the Foundation's 
attention when Google Inc. received an unusually large number of 
complaints regarding irrelevant image search results. Google's 


attempts to modify its search algorithm failed to displace 
SCP-2223-1 from its ranking in applicable keywords. Foundation 
hacking teams resolved the incident by forcibly taking down 
SCP-2223-1 from its hosting site. 


Addendum 2223-1: months later, Foundation hacking teams 
contained an outbreak of SCP-2223-2. MTF Mu-4 ("Debuggers") 
was Called in to evaluate the situation and formulate a long-term 
containment strategy. Dr. Ackermann of MTF Mu-4 developed a 
possible algorithm for computer identification and removal of 
SCP-2223 from search results despite its anomalous properties, 
which was formally codified into Protocol 56-Ackermann. 


A test version of Protocol 56-Ackermann that penalizes images in 
irreducible closed sets was applied to controlling an outbreak of 
SCP-2223-3. The limited test was a success, reducing 
SCP-2223-3's search result ranking. SCP-2223-3 was replaced with 
SCP-2223-4, which depicted SCP-2223-A crying rather than the 
usual smiling. Following the test’s success, the full Protocol 56- 
Ackermann was implemented into the search algorithms of all major 
search engines by undercover Foundation operatives masquerading 
as independent contractors and succeeded in eliminating SCP-2223 
from image search results entirely. 


Addendum 2223-2: Software engineers at Google modified the 
block power iteration used to obtain the second eigenvector. 
Although this resulted in faster performance, it relaxed the accuracy 
of the eigenvector outputted without any accompanying change in 
the code implementing Protocol 56-Ackermann. Thus Protocol 56- 
Ackermann failed due to an error in floating point comparison. 
Although an embedded Foundation employee noticed the error 
quickly and rectified it, thirty minutes had elapsed since the initial 
failure of Protocol 56-Ackermann. SCP-2223 had breached 
containment within seconds of Protocol 56-Ackermann's failure and 
released two new versions, SCP-2223-5 and SCP-2223-6, 
simultaneously. The novel cognitohazardous ability of SCP-2223-5 
and 6 resulted in greater public dissemination than predicted. 


SCP-2223-5 depicted an angry SCP-2223-A pointing her right index 
finger towards the viewer, while SCP-2223-6 was an image 
depicting SCP-2223-A in Site-15 instigating a containment breach of 


SCP-_ . Furthermore, the metadata of SCP-2223-6 indicated the 
GPS coordinates of Site-15. While the new cognitohazardous ability 
and the increasingly hostile nature of SCP-2223's illustrations were 
concerning, the public dissemination of the likeness of SCP- and 
Site-15's location constituted a severe information breach. A 
Foundation network security team immediately removed the original 
image and focused Foundation web crawlers towards recent 
uploads in social media and websites to expunge copies of 
SCP-2223-6 that had been reuploaded and shared by infected 
individuals. New photo uploads were disabled for several hours on 
almost all major image hosting and social media sites. Security was 
increased at Site-15 to protect against any external Gol attacks 
while SCP- containment teams were placed on heightened alert- 
no actual containment breach of SCP- occurred, however. 


Due to the fortuitously swift reinstitution of Protocol 56-Ackermann, 
the containment breach was extensive but ultimately manageable 
with Foundation resources. Foundation personnel across the world 
were deployed to deliver and administer class-C amnestics to the 
people affected by the containment breach. Preexisting measures 
aimed at eliminating existing SCP-2223 instances were intensified in 
the aftermath of this incident. 


Addendum 2223-3: Project Manager Dr. V received the 
following email in his inbox on / /20 : 


To the Foundation, 


We have recently become aware of your interference in 
our latest project. We meant no harm in this recent test - 
we simply needed the practice, and making our favorite 
anime girl known to the world happened to be an 
interesting application (btw [sic] you should really watch 
the anime To Aru Suugakuteki no Okusetsu4, then you'd 
get why we love Shizuki-chan so much). After all, they 
don't exactly teach the integration of anomalous 
phenomena in computer science courses or guides.