Foreword: During a daily signal check for SCP-507, two 
independent verifications were returned. The following investigation 
led to the discovery of identical SCP-507 duplicates in its assigned 
quarters. Both apparently made their way to the room by 
themselves, and had spent at least half an hour conversing with 
each other upon meeting. The following interview took place 
between them and the first informed employee to reach their 
location; the duplicates have been each given an alphabetical 
notation for the purpose of readability. 


<Begin Log> 

507-A: Hey, doc. 

507-B: Welcome to the party. 

Dr. _:| am afraid you are going to have to explain this to me. 


507-B: There’s apparently more than one version of me with this 
problem. 


507-A: Should have seen this coming, honestly. There are so many 
ways an alternate reality could differ without affecting my personal 
life, y know? 


Dr. _: So which one of you is the visitor? 
(Roughly ten seconds of silence) 
Dr. —:\s something wrong? 


507-A: We've actually been talking about this for a bit. Now you 


tests. A series of scenes from the main character's point of view 
show SCP-3922-A stopping Sayori's suicide attempt and placing her 
in therapy, arresting Natsuki's father on charges of child abuse and 
neglect and transferring the aforementioned girl to a foster care 
system, confiscating Yuri's knife collection and admitting her to a 
mental hospital, and using weapons marked as "CODE ERSR" to 
quickly dispatch Monika. The end card then immediately fades onto 
screen, displaying the message "Feel better." 

Notes: Acts 2, 3 and 4 are completely absent through use of 
SCP-3922. 


Subject: Adam Sandler Sucks and | Hope You All Die,® 2018, Not 
Rated. 

Interference Point: The first scene at the office, wherein the 
unnamed main character meets his love interest. 

Result: The cognitohazardous mural in the backround of the scene 
has been painted over by a non-hazardous mural featuring the "))>" 
symbol. Other cognitohazardous images have been similarly 
censored throughout the movie. Plot proceeds as normal. 

Notes: Later on in the film, the main character's father is shown 
reading a newspaper featuring the headline " Apprehended 
by ))), Death Sentence Expected". 


Subject: Better Call Saul, Season 1 Episode 2 "Mijo", 2015, TV-14 
Interference Point: After Jimmy McGill (Saul Goodman) and Tuco 
Salamanca shake hands in agreement on the skateboarding twins' 
punishment for insulting Tuco's grandmother. 

Result: Before Tuco has a chance to break the twins' legs, a 
helicopter similar to the one seen in the previous Breaking Bad test 
approaches the scene. Tuco is executed via a long-range sniper rifle 
shot to the head; No-Doze and Gonzo are killed and Nacho is 
seriously injured as they return fire. After the helicopter touches 
down, an SCP-3922-A instance begins treating Nacho for his 
gunshot wounds while other instances interrogate Jimmy and the 
skateboarders. Although initially planning to arrest all three of them 
for "financially motivated confidence scams," Jimmy successfully 
persuades the 3922-A instances to not take any action, arguing that 
he saved the twins from a worse punishment from Tuco and that 
they are "so scared of you that they won't even think about 
jaywalking for the rest of their lives". Additionally, he claims his 


attempted scam of the Kettlemans was "my homage to Robin Hood" 
and that he planned to donate their embezzled money to a local 
charity after stealing it. The 3922-A instances let all three of them off 
with a stern warning to "refrain from any future criminal activities, 
even with altruistic motivations" and exit the scene after loading 
Nacho into the helicopter via a stretcher. 

Notes: No SCP-3922-A instances demonstrate recollection of the 
previous Breaking Bad test. Additionally, this marks the first known 
occurrence of 3922-A instances reneging on their planned 
punishment after persuasion from a character. 


Subject: The Natural, 1984, PG 

Interference Point: Shortly before Harriet Bird shoots Roy Hobbs. 
Result: Two SCP-3922-A instances armed with advanced weaponry 
raid the hotel room and arrest Bird before she can shoot Roy, who is 
horrified to learn of her actual intentions when they are explained to 
him by the instances. After Bird is placed in a psychiatric hospital, 
the remainder of the film depicts Roy's successful career as a 
pitcher for the Chicago Cubs. At the end, he throws a perfect game 
to close out a World Series win over the New York Yankees, striking 
out "The Whammer" (a stand-in for Babe Ruth) for the 27th and final 
out. 


Footnotes 
1. Amockumentary produced for testing purposes by Dr. Edison, 
utilizing Site 19 Cafeteria security footage from the previous test. 
The movie consists of Dr. Edison narrating over footage of 

's smoke break, whom the narrator claims to be named "Smokes 
McGee", admonishing him for his flagrant violation of foundation 
health and safety standards. signed an agreement allowing 
his likeness to be used in this manner, as well as_ unrelated 
personnel. All other personnel had their faces digitally blurred. 
2. Shown later in the movie to be a diver working at Shell City, a 
tourist trap, collecting sea creatures to repurpose as knickknacks to 
sell 
3. Dutch for "unsuitable." 
4. To date, El Santo holds the only pinfall victory over any 3922-A 
instance. 
5. To meet SCP-3922's criteria for fiction as established in the 
"Smokes McGee" test, a fictional narration for the footage anda 


false name ("Adrian Smith") for the individual were used. 

6. A film produced by , a known member of the Group of 
Interest "Are We Cool Yet?". While the plot of the film appears to be 
a romantic comedy, the film's set design contains symbols that act 
as lethal cognitohazards, seemingly added for no other purpose 
than to kill the viewer. 


SCP-3923: Negotium Ficus 


Item #: SCP-3923 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: All known instances of 
SCP-3923 are currently being held at Site 55's Botanical 
Containment Center. Personnel interacting with instances of 
SCP-3923 are to be equipped with non-rebreather masks and 
personal oxygen tanks. Prunings are to be carried out by trained 
personnel only. Instances are to be watered no more than once a 
week. 


Foundation web crawlers are to monitor internal email systems of 
major companies for references to behaviors and speech patterns 
caused by exposure to SCP-3923. 


Description: SCP-3923 are visually and genetically identical to 
Ficus lyrata (Fiddle Leaf Fig). Though varying in height and 
coloration, they are typically 1.5m tall and light green. To date, all 
recovered instances of SCP-3923 have been found in executive 
boardrooms, business meeting rooms, and the personal offices of 
high-ranking employees within multi-million dollar companies. 


Instead of photosynthesizing oxygen, SCP-3923 creates a 
previously unknown gas which affects human cognitive functions. 
Though physiologically harmless, the gas will cause subjects 
inhaling it to suffer from irregular speech patterns and behavior. 
Such behaviors include believing oneself to be issuing a 
presentation, engaging in sales pitches for non-specific products, 
and attempting to exchange non-existent business cards. If more 
than one subject is affected, they will take turns making faux 
presentations on perceived products and applauding one another. 
Gatherings of subjects affected by SCP-3923 can last hours, usually 
only ending due to outside disturbances or when biological needs 
arise. 


The effects of SCP-3923 wear off within 5-10 minutes of leaving the 
affected area. Recovering subjects will express confusion and have 
little to no recollection of their prior state. This is particularly notable 
in subjects who are not in an office building or similar location while 
under the effects of SCP-3923. Prolonged exposure may result in 
SCP-3923's effects becoming near-permanent, as seen in William 
Heider, the CEO of the Fortune 500 company 


Addendum 1: Apprehension of APP Inc Associate 

Matthew Sanders was apprehended at the 2019 Austin Small 
Business Expo in Austin (ASBE), Texas. Sanders was discovered to 
be exhibiting products on behalf of Avelar Professional Products 
Incorporated! at the convention, including SCP-3923, SCP-_, 
SCP-3803, SCP-__, and other previously unknown APP Inc 
products. The promotional materials involving SCP-3923 claimed 
the object was guaranteed to "... get employees in the headspace of 
a top-dog salesman!" and "improve meeting productivity and 
boardroom aesthetics by 300%!" 


Upon being questioned Sanders claimed he had been hired as a 
product demonstrator by a third party staffing agency and had no 
knowledge of APP Inc, save for the marketing material he had been 
provided. All marketing material seized during the apprehension of 
Sanders is currently kept in Site 55's Low-Risk Item Storage. Among 
the items was a list of representatives for several companies in 
attendance of ASBE who had left their contact information with 
Sanders. Foundation field agents are currently being planted as 
custodial personnel in over 20 companies to search and contain 
instances of SCP-3923 and other APP Inc products. 


Sanders was later released from Foundation custody after 
administration of Class B Amnestics. 


Addendum 2: Affected Subject Interview 
+ Document 3923-1221: Interview with D-1221 
Interviewed: D-1221 


Interviewer: Researcher Hart 


Foreword: D-1221 was exposed to SCP-3923 
for 20 minutes before Researcher Hart entered 
the chamber. Researcher Hart was equipped 
with the necessary equipment to not be 
affected by SCP-3923. 


<Begin Log> 
Researcher Hart: Hello, D-1221. 


D-1221: Bob! | didn't expect to see you at this 
meeting! How are you doing? I'd give you my 
business card (D-1221 attempts to search his 
jumpsuit for pockets) but |'m afraid | came 
unprepared! (D-1221 attempts to shake hands 
with Researcher Hart.) 


Researcher Hart: (Refusing the handshake) 
How are you feeling? 


D-1221: Oh you know what, I'm feeling great! 
Just like my confidence in our profits this 
quarter! 


Researcher Heart: What do you mean? 


D-1221: By dramatically innovating 
cooperative processes to proactively mesh 
cutting edge manufactured products which will 
beat out the competition in our untapped 
sectors abroad, we will triple our profits! 


Researcher Hart: |, uh... Okay. Are you 
feeling any sort of lightheadedness? Maybe 
dizziness, fatigue, or nausea? 


D-1221: Nope, like | said, feeling great! 
Anyway, as | was saying, by dramatically 
increasing our synergy with third-party 
distributors in the Eastern markets, | plan on 
pushing this product all the way to the top for 


this company! 


Researcher Hart: |'m afraid | don't follow. 
What company? What product? 


D-1221: Alright... Come on now, wise guy. A 
meeting is no place for joking around. We're 
talking money here! Big, big money! 


Researcher Hart: Very well. Can you detail 
your plans to me? A step by step, if you will. 


D-1221: (Sighing) Okay. Listen, | normally 
don't do this but I'll do it just for you since 
you're the new guy and you seem like a real 
go-getter, okay? We're going to get together a 
crack tiger team to get a B2B rolling with some 
offshore brick and mortars. Put on a nice show 
and pretend to eat some of our own dogfood 
until they have a 'come to Jesus moment' and 
then we just so happen to lower our prices and 
manage to set up a profit center in the 
untapped sector. The entire time we will be 
courting a rival company of theirs and offering 
prices our competition cannot beat within a 
ballpark figure of $3 million. That way we still 
have an exit strategy in case we screw the 
pooch. By hiring exclusively newcomers in that 
foreign market, we can claim downsizing within 
5 years to maximize our long-run profits. 


Researcher Hart: Thank you. Now, | have 
another question. 


D-1221: Go ahead and shoot, Tim! 


Researcher Hart: What company do you 
claim to work for? 


D-1221: Come on now.... Twice in one 
meeting? You're looking to get your position 


Bangalore'd with that behavior! We work for 
Schieffer Incorporated!2 


Researcher Hart: And what is the product you 
are selling? 


D-1221: You were on thin ice before, George, 
but this crosses the line. You're fired. 


<End Log> 


Closing Statement: D-1221 refused to 
answer further questions and attempted to 
force Researcher Hart into signing a non- 
compete agreement, which the subject 
claimed Hart could acquire from ‘his secretary’. 
Following the cessation of testing, D-1221 
recovered within 11 minutes and had no 
memory of their prior state. 


Footnotes 

1. Avelar Professional Products (APP Inc) is a group of interest 
specializing in the production and sale of anomalous office products 
and supplies. 

2. ‘Schieffer’ is the legal last name of D-1221. 


SCP-3924: Silent Honour Ark 


Item #: SCP-3924 
Object Class: Euclid Uncontained/Neutralised Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3924 should be monitored 
via sonar at all times for any atypical behaviour. Records of its 
courses and speeds should be catalogued. 


Non-Foundation vessels must remain within 3,500 metres of sea- 
level while within the Hellenic Trench region. All vessels attempting 
to, or successfully, surpass a depth of 3,500 metres must be 
apprehended, questioned and amnestised, if recoverable. Lethal 
force is permitted if vessels resist apprehension. 


All manned Foundation vessels must remain above 4,000 metres 
below surface at all times while within the Hellenic Trench region. All 
manned Foundation vessels must remain at least 20 km away from 
SCP-3924 at all times. (See: Addendum Ill.) 


Description: SCP-3924 is a mobile, submersible object that roams 
the hadal zone of the Hellenic Trench region. SCP-3924 typically 
moves at 40 km/h and at depths of 4,450 to 4,980 metres below 
surface, but is capable of reaching speeds of 55 337 km/h! and 
depths of 5,250 metres. In all encounters, SCP-3924 has evaded 
visual observation; because of this, its approximate physical 
appearance is only known through sonar imaging (Depicted above). 


SCP-3924 perpetually emits an indeterminate sound, depending on 
its current “state”; although the sonics change depending on 
whether or not SCP-3924 is passively roaming or actively engaged 
in battle, at no point does SCP-3924 cease emitting noise. (See: 
Addendum III.) Because of SCP-3924’s normal depth, these sound 
are heavily distorted due to seawater; ongoing audio analysis has 
identified an ongoing rhythm between the various sounds, 
suggesting they may be musical in nature. To date, no patterns 


typical of vocalisations have yet been identified. 


Whenever a vessel approaches a depth of 4,100 metres below 
surface while within the Hellenic Trench region, SCP-3924 enters an 
active state, immediately changing course to intercept and 
broadcasting an alternate audio signature (unique to this state) 
directly at the encroaching vessel. This will continue until the vessel 
rises above a varying depth.2