Seal 2: You're a fucking asshole. We fucking remember 
‘cause we saw you do that shit, Carl. 


Seal 1: You got all these people fooled. You thought just 
‘cause it was dark and raining on the beach that night, no 
One was gonna see what you did? 


SCP-3213: Jesus fucking Christ. 


Seal 2: Coming back to you now, ain't it, asshole. Why 
don't you jump in here and I'll give you a taste of how it 
felt. 


Seal 1: Don't worry, we won't kill you. Promise. 
SCP-3213: Why? 
Seal 2: 'cause then we couldn't hurt you any more, Carl. 


Following this interaction, SCP-3213 refused to elaborate on the 
incident described by the affected animals. It is also unknown why 
all members of pinniped species are aware of this triggering 
incident. 


Investigation into SCP-3213's past has turned up nothing matching 
the described details. SCP-3213 testing is currently suspended, and 
daily interviews are scheduled to determine what events caused this 
anomaly. 


SCP-409: Contagious Crystal 


Item #: SCP-409 
Object Class: Keter 


Special Containment Procedures: No physical contact may be 
made with SCP-409 for any reason. Anything making physical 
contact with SCP-409 must be contained in quarantine immediately, 
along with any materials used in the transport of the subject. 
SCP-409 must be kept in a granite case at all times. Any 
transportation of SCP-409 must be done in a sealed granite 
container. Residue from SCP-409's effect are to be sealed in granite 
containers along with any tools used to transport residue into 
containers. 


Description: SCP-409 resembles a large quartz crystal 
approximately 1.5m (5ft) tall and 0.6m (2ft) wide. Any objects 
coming in contact with SCP-409 will begin to crystallize after three 
hours. This effect will occur in any material other than granite. The 
crystallization will spread by approximately 2.5cm (1in) per minute, 
and will convert the entire object or organism, inside and out. 
Subjects report this effect to be extremely painful, and similar to 
frostbite. After complete crystallization, the object will begin to make 
snapping and creaking noises for approximately twenty minutes, 
before bursting into thousands of fragments with great force. 


Anything touched by or touching a fragment will immediately begin 
to crystallize. Nothing at this time is able to reverse the effect in 
organic matter, including amputation of affected areas. Inorganic 
matter will only crystallize for a few centimetres around point of 
contact. SCP-409 was recovered in [EXPUNGED], under a pile of 
crystal shards several feet deep. Losses of personnel during 
recovery were high. 


Addendum 409-1: With the suggestion of Dr. [500-0021D], Subject 
409-D5 was exposed to the effects of SCP-409 and was left to 


SCP-3214: Star Quality 


Item #: SCP-3214 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: A specialized Foundation 
webcrawler? will monitor digital advertising exchanges for new 
copies of SCP-3214. Blocking or deleting SCP-3214 from its current 
exchange may temporarily prevent new SCP-3214 from being 
served. 


If any clickthroughs are detected, a containment team must be 
dispatched to contain all individuals affected by the anomaly and 
assess the severity of the outbreak. Hospital records must be 
monitored for individuals who have ingested all or part of a cellular 
phone, tablet, laptop computer or wireless router.2 Any device with a 
screen or speaker must be disconnected from power in the vicinity 
of individuals experiencing a retargeting event. No cellphone or 
other susceptible device is allowed within 30 meters of an instance 
of SCP-3214-1 except during approved tests. 


Description: SCP-3214 is a digital video advertisement which 
displays anomalous retargeting and personalization. It inflicts a 
compulsion to eat cellular phones and other susceptible devices on 
those who view or hear it for more than five seconds (hereafter 
SCP-3214-1). When an SCP-3214-1 does consume such a device, 
any other susceptible device within approximately 30 meters will be 
served an SCP-3214 impression. If an individual to whom an 
SCP-3214 impression has been served? is not infected, they will be 
retargeted by the anomaly for up to five days. 


Retargeting timeline: Retargeting events follow a predictable 
pattern, recorded below. Individuals who experience a complete 
retargeting event and successfully avoid infection may experience 
minor long-term ill effects,5 but are not targeted by the anomaly 


_ 


1-2 days 


2-3 days 


3-4 days 


be delivered outside ofweb address of a 


normal ad frames on 
devices used by the 
subject. 


Impressions occur at 
maximum frequency.® 
Titles adopt a 
confrontational tone, 
including detailed 
information about the 
subject's life. 
Impressions begin to 
be delivered to any 
device screen or 
speaker in the 
subject's vicinity. This 
can include devices 
which are not 
susceptible to 
SCP-3214 delivery 
under other 
circumstances, and 
need not be 
connected to the 
internet. 

Impressions may be 
separated by two to 
three hours, and 
target the subject in 


mayor search engine. 
When attempting to 
click on the search 
bar, a popup of 
SCP-3214 slid down 
from the top of the 
screen and 
intercepted their 
"What Have -You-Got 
To Lose, D-20993?" 
"Mom Was Right: 
You're Good For 
Nothing (But We Can 
Help)" 


A subject being 
escorted from the 
testing chamber 
passed by a closea- 
circuit television 
showing live feed from 
a security camera. 
SCP-3214 began to 
play in a corner of the 
screen. 


A subject had recently 
learned of their 
cellmate’s death in an 
unrelated test on 


moments of emotional SCP- . When 


vulnerability. 


security personnel 
arrived to escort the 


subject to the testing 
chamber, SCP-3214 
began to play from the 


security officers' 
walkio-laikies. 
4-5 days Impressions revert to —"Click To Prevent —‘s 
appearing only in Horrifying Death" ( 
normal ad frames. was the subject's 


Titles begin to include nephew, later 

threats to the subject confirmed to be 

or their loved ones if it unharmed) 

is not viewed. "Watch Now Or FACE 
The Consequences" 
(the word FACE was 
periodically replaced 
with a stylized graphic 
of teeth clamping 
shut). 


Symptoms: Once infected, SCP-3214-1 consumes the device on 
which they viewed SCP-3214. Whenever SCP-3214-1 is within one 
to two meters of another susceptible device, they will consume it as 
well, unless forcibly prevented from doing so. Each time such an 
additional device is consumed by SCP-3214-1, SCP-3214 
impressions will be delivered to all susceptible devices in a 30 meter 
radius. This can result in the rapid and potentially exponential 
spread of SCP-3214. 


Consumption of electronic devices results in severe lacerations of 
the mouth, esophagus and digestive tract. Subjects injured in this 
way refuse to acknowledge distress and invariably describe their 
condition in positive terms.’ Unless prompt medical care is 
administered, SCP-3214-1 typically expire within one to three days, 
either as a direct result of their injuries or from related non- 
anomalous bacterial infection. The compulsion to eat devices has 
persisted in all known instances, though some subjects can learn to 
resist it over time. 


Video description: Recordings of SCP-3214 show a blank screen 


with a circular "loading" image, and a sound similar to a dial-up 
modem connecting to the internet. Thus a more detailed description 
of SCP-3214 has been summarized from interviews with individuals 
infected by the anomaly. Although written descriptions of SCP-3214 
have not demonstrated cognitohazardous properties, access is 
currently restricted as a precaution. Access is authorized for 
personnel of level 2 and above, researchers directly involved in 
SCP-3214 experimentation, and agents deployed in response to 
SCP-3214 outbreaks. 


+ Enter Level 2-3214 credentials 


1. The narrator's appearance is perceived 
by the subject as an idealized version of 
themselves. Dialogue and/or captions in 
the video employ the viewer's first 
language. 

2. The narrator describes the viewer's 
history to a group of other characters 
seated in a casual setting, and will offer 
strong opinions on the relative talent or 
desirability of the viewer. Many of these 
other characters will resemble celebrities 
or other public figures known to the 
viewer. 

3. The other characters will briefly debate 
whether the viewer possesses "the right 
stuff" or "star quality" and whether the 
group should "take [name] with us." All 
characters will then look at the camera, 
making eye contact with the viewer. 
Subjects report feeling compelled to 
view this portion, and felt they were 
being "measured" or "judged", even if 
they were unable to view the screen. 

4. Characters may be shown engaging in 
space travel, public musical 
performances, sexual activity and/or 
[REDACTED]. During this section, the 
narrator's eyes begin to glow with green 


light as they deliver enthusiastic 
commentary on depicted scenes. 
Subjects are unable to recall this 
narration in detail. 

5. The narrator moves in front of the 
camera and smiles at the viewer, saying, 
"We'll see you there." 


An estimated 20% of individuals infected by SCP-3214 
outside of containment go missing. These individuals are 
designated SCP-3214-2. SCP-3214-2 do not exhibit any 
compulsion to consume electronic devices. Individuals 
infected while in containment have a lower probability of 
becoming SCP-3214-2 (approximately 5%). 


Civilians who have observed SCP-3214-2 report that 
instances will immediately depart, offering vague and 
contradictory excuses when questioned. SCP-3214-2 
who are prevented from departing will express dismay, 
citing an urgent appointment. They will refuse to specify 
the nature or location of this appointment. Each 
SCP-3214-2 instance will obtain a small quantity of 
luggage and fill it with various items of clothing and forms 
of personal entertainment.8 SCP-321 4-2 will either 
purchase or steal such items in an opportunistic manner. 


All SCP-3214-2 to date have vanished within 24 hours of 
release. Observation teams report a flash of green light 
at each disappearance, which is not visible in video 
recordings. Tracking devices lose contact at this time. 
Tracking devices frequently lose contact at this time. 
Signals from tracking devices attached to some 
instances were later detected at the outer edge of the 
heliosphere, accelerating towards Alpha Centauri A at 
speeds which gradually increased to a maximum of .5c. 


Footnotes 

1. Adapted from I/O BEHOLDER. SeeSCP-3299for details. 

2. For a full list of susceptible devices, see Documents 3214-b1-4. 
3. When a digital advertisement is fetched from its server by a user's 
browser, it is counted as an impression. 


4. An impression of a digital advertisement has been served when it 
appears in a user's browser. 

5. These effects may include misanthropy, increased extraversion, 
and obsessive fixation on the works and activities of celebrities 
depicted in SCP-3214. 

6. The anomaly appears to observe a 30-minute frequency cap. 

7. Responses such as"l'm fine", "no worries", "all good bro", "five by 
five", etc., are common. 

8. Movies, books, mp3 players, handheld gaming devices, musical 
instruments and adult toys are commonly selected. 


SCP-3215: Delicious Anemone 


A section of SCP-3215. 
Close-up of a section of SCP-32151. 


Item #: SCP-3215 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: All five (5) respective instances 
of SCP-3215 are to be contained in a one-hundred and fifty (150) 
centimeter long and one-hundred and forty-two (142) centimeter 
high reef tank at Biological Containment Site-66. Personnel with a 
Level 3 or higher security clearance are permitted access to the 
room containing SCP-3215's tank. SCP-3215 is to be sustained on a 
diet of small fish. 


The lid of SCP-3215's tank is to be secured by a nine-digit numpad 
lock. The code for said lock is to be changed semi-frequently and 
can be granted to research personnel by Lead Researcher Winfield. 


Any reports of SCP-3215 instances discovered outside of 
Foundation containment are to be responded to immediately. MTF 
Theta-4 "Gardeners" are to be dispatched for recovery and Class C 
amnestics are to be administered to any non-Foundation personnel 
involved. 


Description: SCP-3215 is an unidentified species of sea anemone 
spanning an area of between roughly one and a half (1.5) 
centimeters and one (1) meter. The overall mass of SCP-3215 
consists of a vast number of column-shaped bodies which are 
punctuated by small oral cavities. Each cavity functions as both a 
mouth and an anus and connects to one of a number of shared 
gastrovascular chambers. 


These tubular bodies are surrounded by tendrils armed with 


exceptionally high concentrations of cnidocyte cells; each cell 
contains clusters of nematocysts which produce an anomalous 
actinotoxin, referred to as SCP-3215-1. A highly simplistic nervous 
system coordinates the processes involved in homeostasis, as well 
as physical responses to a range of stimuli. 


SCP-3215-1 is produced by harpoon-shaped nematocysts and is 
injected by everting cnidocytes into prey or attackers which make 
physical contact with one of SCP-3215's tendrils. Wounds inflicted 
by these punctures will usually shed small amounts of blood. The 
sensation of being injected universally causes itchiness at the point 
of contact, as well as an area of roughly a centimeter in diameter 
around it. The severity of this stimulation varies greatly depending 
on duration and level of exposure to SCP-3215's injection 
mechanism. Subjects have also been observed to suffer allergic 
reactions to SCP-3215, irrespective of its anomalous properties2. 


The effects of SCP-3215-1 are twofold: 


¢ Minor audio-sensory and visual hallucinations 
* Major loss of self-control and self-identity. 


When under the effects of SCP-3215-1, organisms will experience 
an extreme compulsion to make further physical contact with 
SCP-3215. Affected organisms will attempt to touch, grab, consume 
and [DATA EXPUNGED] sections of SCP-3215, further increasing 
the level of SCP-3215-1 affliction. This effect will persist for almost 
an hour after initial SCP-3215 contact if no further contact is made 
and is not treatable with amnestics. Further contact will 
exponentially elongate the duration of SCP-3215-1's effects. 


During this time, subjects identify SCP-3215 as a meal of some 
description, often elucidating and declaring that it will be, or is, the 
best food that they have ever eaten. 


As SCP-3215's cnidocytes further puncture the organism's 
epidermis and mouth, blood will begin to be drawn in greater and 
greater quantities, and the high concentrations of SCP-3215-1 in the 
subject's bloodstream will eventually cause organ failure after an 
extended period of time. Despite this, subjects will not cease making 
contact with SCP-3215 unless physically restrained$ or until they 


have lost motor function. 


Death can occur anywhere between ten (10) minutes and one (1) 
hour, depending on the size of the organism. The most common 
cause of death is by multiple organ failure but can also occur by 
exsanguination in smaller prey. Following the moment of death, 
SCP-3215's tendrils will guide the victim into one of SCP-3215's oral 
cavities for digestion. Prey that is too large to be eaten whole will not 
be moved by these tendrils, however SCP-3215 will still feed off of 
the remains produced by the carcass' decomposition. How 
SCP-3215 makes this distinction in size is as of yet unclear. 


Addendum 3215a: Recovery Log 


SCP-3215 was recovered on / / from 

tropical fish store in Hollywood, Florida, after a police 
investigation following the accidental death of Mr. Henry 
Allen.