Special Containment Procedures: As SCP-1986 is immovable 
and located in a heavily travelled public building, security must be 
maintained covertly in order to prevent the general public from 
becoming aware of its existence. Guards posing as library staff are 
to be employed. Only non-lethal measures have been approved. 


Description: SCP-1986 is a cylindrical tunnel ~2m wide lined with 
volumes of books. Although the full extent of the tunnel is unknown, 
Interferometric Synthetic Aperture Radar (IfSAR) has established a 
minimum depth of 274,700 km or nearly 1 light-second (expeditions 
have confirmed a depth of at least 4,441 km). The conjecture has 
been advanced that the tunnel may be infinite. ! 


The volumes lining the tunnel often resemble known works, though 
with substantial alterations as to style, character, plot and subject 
matter. Authors are occasionally authentic ones, though often they 
are wholly unknown. The works range from being somewhat 
unusual to completely nonsensical, though nominally at least 
intelligible (see the section Recovered Works). All languages 
currently extant as well as extinct ones are represented. In no case 
has any volume borne any publication information. Dating 
techniques have established that the volumes originate from the era 
they would otherwise appear to, based on semantic and linguistic 
considerations. No discernible pattern? has been found to the 
arrangement of the volumes. 


The walls of the tunnel are made of ordinary limestone. Attempts at 
breaching them have shown that the tunnel is non-Euclidean i.e. to 
excavate through the floor is to emerge from the ceiling 
(topologically,3 it can be likened to a 3-torus). Attempts at reaching 
the tunnel at an angle have proven futile as the tunnel is absent 


unless approached from its entrance. 


Discovery Log: 

SCP-1986 was discovered in 1989 by a librarian4 in an unused 
basement of La Biblioteca Nacional de la Republica Argentina 
located in Buenos Aires. Foundation personnel administered class B 
amnesics to those who had been made aware of its existence and 
cordoned off the basement under the guise of performing 
emergency structural repairs. 


Recovered Works: 


The following is a list of selected works recovered from SCP-1986. 
Should other noteworthy samples come to light, please contact the 
archivist in charge for appraisal and possible inclusion. 


Title: The Gospel of Eve 

Author: none 

Language: Aramaic, circa 1100 BCE—200 CE 

Depth of recovery: 75m 

Description: A section of Biblical Apocrypha purporting 
to be an account of Eve's life after her exile from The 
Garden of Eden. Eve is depicted in furious argument with 
herself on the nature of free will and original sin. 


Title: Intangible Heresies 

Author: Carina Giusti 

Language: Italian, modern 

Depth of recovery: 2,318m 

Description: A book of prose poems reminiscent of Italo 
Calvino's style, though informed by magical realism. The 
foreword introduces the work as having won the Nobel 
Prize for Obstinance. 


Title: The Worm of Midnight 

Author: Edgar Allan Poe 

Language: English, modern 

Depth of recovery: 433m 

Description: A hitherto unknown collection of short 
stories. An alert researcher recognized this fictitious work 


as being mentioned (but not elaborated on) in "The man 
who collected Poe" by Robert Bloch. All the stories 
concern shellfish. 


Title: Je suis Moi-Méme la Question de mon Livre (trans: 
| am Myself the Matter of my Book) 

Author: Pierre de Langitaire 

Language: French, middle. 

Depth of recovery: 171,888m 

Description: Similar in style and subject matter to 
Essais (trans: Attempts) by Montaigne: a collection of a 
large number of short subjective treatments of various 
topics inspired by studies in the classics (especially 
Plutarch), as well as discursions into the 
autobiographical and anecdotal. Makes heavy use of the 
passive voice and the future perfect progressive tense 
(e.g. "the song will have been being sung by an Angel 
when the fruits of love | desire will have been being 
consumed by me"). 


Title: The Need for Legalized Abortion 

Author: anonymous 

Language: English, modern 

Depth of recovery: 28,111m 

Description: A polemic on the moral, medical, and 
societal costs of illegal abortion. Makes the case that 
abortion should be permitted through the fourth trimester. 


Title: /s /tself an Exponent of the Deadpan Non-Sequitur 
Author: Claudine Nemejanski 

Language: ASL (American Sign Language), modern 
(note: represented using illustrations of a posed, wooden 
mannequin) 

Depth of recovery: 1,001m 

Description: A series of examples and counter- 
examples to the proposition that the proof of the Banach- 
Tarski paradox both relies and is independent of 
Zermelo's axiom of choice. Examples are read in forward 
order, and counter-examples backwards. Counter- 
examples outnumber examples two to one. 


Title: Choix des Poésies Originales des Troubadours 
(trans: Selection of Original Poetry of the Troubadours) 
Author: Rimbaud 

Language: French, modern 

Depth of recovery: 40,002m 

Description: A fictitious collection of poetry consistent 
with the style of Rimbaud. Written completely without the 
letter 'u’. 


Title: Jane's Fighting Ships, 2061 annual 

Author: various 

Language: English, anachronistic 

Depth of recovery: 889,484m 

Description: A reference on the changing capabilities of 
modern navies, their ships, aircraft and weapons 
systems in service and under construction. Many of the 
vessels and weapon systems are wholly unknown. 
Written in limerick form. 


Title: The Grasshopper Lies Heavy 

Author: Hawthorne Abendsen 

Language: English, modern 

Depth of recovery: 77m 

Description: A novel concerning an alternate world 
where the United States won WWII (but not in a manner 
consistent with our history), appearing to be written from 
the point of view of an author living in a world where the 
Nazis prevailed. A search of 20th century fiction has 
uncovered this to be an imaginary work central to the 
plot of the real novel The Man in the High Castle by 
Philip K. Dick. 


Title: A Lapful of Severed Tongues 

Author: Lisa Palladino, PhD. 

Language: Braille, archaic circa 1850 CE 

Depth of recovery: 44m 

Description: A collection of essays on the American 
Suffragette movement. Interspersed with a hitherto 
unknown variation on the tactile-olfactory implementation 
commonly referred to as scratch-and-sniff. 


Title: /, Lucifer 

Author: Antoine Pierce 

Language: English, modern 

Depth of recovery: 51,200m 

Description: A "pulp" novel centering around the sex 
lives of a circle of lesbians and their children. 


Title: Treating Adult-Onset Sudden Infant Death 
Syndrome: A Diagnostic Approach, sixteenth edition 
Author: Dr. Pallas Benchko 

Language: Icelandic, old circa 950 CE 

Depth of recovery: 3,303m 

Description: Note: condition actually surveyed is 
Supernumerary Phantom Limb Syndrome. Composed in 
blank verse (unrhymed iambic pentameter). 


Title: Charm for the protection of a child 

Author: none 

Language: Egyptian, 8th Dynasty circa 1950 BCE-1300 
BCE 

Depth of recovery: 2m 

Description: An account of the development of religion 
and thought in Ancient Egypt. Much of the material 
remains a matter of conjecture as much of it resists 
translation. Includes parables comparing the well-lived 
life to the Ford Motor Corporation. 


Title: Hagiography and the Gusto-Facial Response 
Author: Declan McManus 

Language: Basque, modern 

Depth of recovery: 1,119m 

Description: A libretto for an opera considering the 
plight of a group of Alaskan firemen snow-bound in their 
firehouse, driven mad with hunger, and forced to eat 
their Dalmatians. Dialogue consists entirely of rhetorical 
questions. 


Title: Before the Flood, after the Fall (or Antediluvian, 
Postlapsarian) 
Author: none 
Language: Phoenician, ancient circa 1725 BCE-1490 


BCE 

Depth of recovery: 4,441,113m (note: this is the most 
remote volume that has presently been recovered) 
Description: A series of interrogations between the 
mythical Minotaur and Sphinx. Answers are composed of 
anagrams formed from the questions. 


Additional List of Recovered Works, by Category 
(approximate): 


+Culture 


Title: Skinning the Elephant: The Pachyderm 
in Metaphor and Idiom (Illustrated) 

Author: Dr. Virgil Wexayz 

Language: English, through a simple number- 
replacement cipher. 

Depth of recovery: 2,599m 

Description: A historical review of the 
symbolic role pachyderms have played 
throughout human history. Makes mention that 
the African Elephant has been used as a 
symbol by the Democratic party and the North 
American Elephant by the Anti-Mason party. 
Also alludes to but does not elaborate on ‘the 
emerging Human-Elephant conflict’. Illustrated. 


Title: The Young Lady's Guide to Etiquette 
and Grooming 

Author: S. Compton, Mme. 

Language: French, recent circa 1750 CE 
Depth of Recovery: 1,298m 

Description: The book is handwritten and 
describes in extensive detail the way a lady 
should properly behave in high society. 
Included are illustrations of the correct 
placement of the tail for various social settings, 
how a lady may best scale a tree and preserve 
her modesty, and the best way to fend off 
unwanted advances while in estrus. 


+Fiction 


Title: Ucalegon, or The Wanderer 

Author: Sophie Marcowitz (With an 
introduction attributed to Juan Carlos | of 
Spain) 

Language: Gaelic, Manx dielect, archaic 
Depth of Recovery: 614m 

Description: A fictional first person narrative 
set in 18th-century Europe, describing how the 
protagonist, referred to only as 'Ucalegon' is 
forced into homelessness and vagrancy after 
being beset upon by a supernatural entity 
which sets fire to any building that he takes up 
residence in. The novel contains the frame 
narrative of a university professor using the 
story in a lecture to illustrate a thought 
experiment concerning fate vs free-will. This 
narrative is interrupted by the appearance of 
the Ucalegon, and his setting fire to the lecture 
theatre. The story ends in mid-sentence as the 
professor and his students are attempting to 
flee the building. An introduction points out 
allusions in the narrative to classical myth, the 
life of Mary Shelley, computational physics, the 
Oxford comma and the heat-death of the 
Universe. 


Title: Hattard 

Author: Darius Jackson 

Language: English, non-standard 

Depth of recovery: 12,447m 

Description: A dramatization of a purportedly 
true story that occurred during the Great 
London Earthquake of 2007. It follows the 
story of the Hattard triplets, residents of 
London at the time, and their successful 
attempt at reaching a refugee camp after two 
weeks of wandering the fallen city. The triplets 
institute an extra-judicial court to deal with 


looters caught during the calamity, acting as 
the prosecutor, defense counsel and judge. In 
the afterword, the author writes that the three 
sisters were treated as national heroes and 
awarded the Damehood by King Albert III. 


Title: Je Sais Que Vous L'avez Fait (trans: | 
Know You Did it) 

Author: Miriam Cotillard 

Language: French 

Depth of Recovery: 1,083 meters 
Description: A novella written in the first 
person in which the author spends the entire 
story accusing the reader of having stolen her 
shoe. The novella is divided into twelve (12) 
chapters, each themed after one of the 
Zodiacal signs. An overarching theme 
throughout the text is the 'Seven Stages of 
Dying’, with the writing style reflecting said 
stages (e.g. pages in the anger sections have 
been printed in boldface). An epilogue by the 
author is an apologia where she confesses 
that she has since found her shoe. 


Title: The Last Words 

Author: Dutch Schultz (as channeled by 
Talaimal Langeshlem, PhD.) 

Language: Hindi 

Depth of Recovery: 41,285 meters 
Description: Purports to be the lengthy record 
of a séance performed over 40 days between 
a self-styled clairvoyant and the late 20th 
century crime-figure Dutch Schultz (whose 
dying words were in fact transcribed by a 
police stenographer while he lingered between 
life and death from a gun-shot wound to the 
head). The text is identical to the words 
actually transcribed, but with the addition of 
considerable material, rendering it intelligible. 
This "unexpurgated" version recounts in heroic 


form the history of Man from the Bronze age to 
the beginning of the 21st century. The 
epilogue chastises the use by other authors of 
the "false" transcript in what it terms to be 
"derivative and heretical" works (notably, the 
author William Burroughs and the authors 
Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson). 


+History 


Title: The Annotated Diaries of Woodrow 
Wilson, Volume 2 

Author: Edited by Dr. T.K.L. Conyer 
Language: English, Modern 

Depth of recovery: 1,331m 

Description: The second of an unknown 
number of volumes of the private diaries of 
U.S. President Woodrow Wilson, detailing the 
political battle for Thailand's statehood, his 
thoughts on the 20th Amendment to the U.S. 
Constitution (granting citizenship to "The 
Afflicted"), and his personal doubts about 
being named Presbyter of the Imperial States 
of America. 


Title: Martian-Terran Relations: A Literary 
Approach 

Author: Sheila McDonald, PhD. 

Language: Afrikaans 

Depth of Recovery: 1,203,117m 
Description: A historical review of the history 
of Earth-Mars relations. Begins with Galileo 
Gaalilei's initial observation in 1601 of artifacts 
on Mars and the Church's reactionary attempts 
to dismiss and then suppress the discovery. 
Follows with a survey of the speculative writing 
of the last four centuries, notably by 
Descartes, Voltaire, and Mark Twain. Details 
first contact in 1890 when Mars successfully 
landed a craft off the coast of South Africa and 


reaction at the time. Covers the impassioned 
championing of tolerance by Ray Bradbury 
and Dr. Martin Luther King, as well as H.G. 
Wells' xenophobic writing and the House Un- 
American Activities Committee's influential 
publication, The Red Menace. Concludes with 
a personal account of the inauguration of the 
first Martian to the U.S. House of 
Representatives in 2007, its subsequent 
assassination, and the President's historic 
eulogy. 


Title: Cannibalism and the Free Market 
Author: Samuel Clemens 

Language: Spanish 

Depth of Recovery: 157m 

Description: A transcript of the 1968 U.S. 
Presidential debates between Barry Goldwater 
and Adlai Stevenson presented as a series of 
Socratic dialogs. Concerned primarily with the 
economic costs and benefits of instituting the 
political programs outlined in “A Modest 
Proposal” by Jonathan Swift i.e. eating the 
poor. 


+Language 


Title: An English-Cetacean Phrasebook 
Author: Various 

Language: English, Dolphin (presumed) 
Depth of recovery: 191,214m 
Description: A short publication consisting of 
English phrases alongside undeciphered 
symbols. An examination of the 
(hypothetically) Cetacean portions have 
suggested it to be an agglutinative, highly 
morphologically-rich language devoid of 
conventional grammatical structure. The 
English phrases are couched in unusually 
deferential language reminiscent of feudal 


Japanese (suggesting that human beings play 
a subservient role or hold a position of 
diminished authority). 


Title: The Joy of Cooking the English 
Language 

Author: /rma Sanduski 

Language: English, modern