“Haha no.” —Dr. Markman 
Date: / / 
Test Subject: Two (2) Double-A (AA) Batteries. 


Procedure: Batteries were submerged in SCP-447-2 for thirty (30) 
minutes, then inserted into Dr. Clinton's flashlight which was then 


SCP-3463: Flawless Objective Perception 


Welcome to SCPSYSTEM 

C:\> load file_ SCP-3463 

Awaiting Input... 

Enter Password:°°°°°°°°9999° 
ACCESS DENIED (2 attempts left) 
Enter Password:20000080000000000000 
ACCESS DENIED (1 attempt left) 
Enter Password:°°°°°°°° 

ACCESS DENIED 


Please remain at your current location. A security team will arrive in 
approximately 45 minutes. Failure to obey will result in termination. 


44 minutes and 59 seconds left. 
44 minutes and 58 seconds left. 
.muties4dna5scondesftlen74 


[SYSTEM ERROR DETECTED] 


You have been cleared. 
Loading iteration # of the file... 


Item #: SCP-3463 


Object Class: Keter 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3463 is to be contained in 
a standard secure locker. Personnel not responsible for its 
containment are not allowed to know of SCP-3463. Documentation 
concerning SCP-3463 must be guarded with a password. Personnel 
assigned to SCP-3463 must have scored less than ten points on the 
Test of Manipulative Personality Traits. Personnel with speech 
impairment, dyslexia or improper handwriting are prohibited from 
accessing SCP-3463. 


Description: SCP-3463 is a 60cm tall "National" brand blue fan 
primarily composed of plastic and iron. Its physical form does not 
possess any anomalous traits. 


The primary anomalous effects of SCP-3463 are triggered as 
follows: If an individual says or writes a statement about SCP-3463, 
the person reading or hearing the information automatically believes 
that it is correct, even if the new information presented is impossible. 
The creator of the statement is immune to the cognitohazard. Even if 
an individual is conscious of SCP-3463's effects, they are incapable 
of doubting any information regarding it. 


Information about SCP-3463 cannot be forgotten without the use of 
amnestics, but its effects on an individual can be replaced by other 
infomation which contradicts it. After approximately five years, the 
effect triggered by SCP-3463 disappears. 


+ Show Interview/Test Logs 
Test/3463: 
Interviewed: D-8956 
Interviewer: Dr Y 


Procedure: D-8956 is interrogated by Dr Y_ in 
a soundproof room. Dr Y_ creates and says 
falsehoods about SCP-3463 to test its effects 
on human beings. The D-Class is monitored 
with a lie detector to see if he believes 


information made by Dr Y about SCP-3463 or 
is just faking his trust. 


<Begin Log> 


Dr Y : Hello D-8956, can you describe 
SCP-3463 in detail. 


D-8956: Well, hum... according to your 
papers, it's a blue fan. 


Dr Y : It's actually a red fan. 
D-8956: Oh... alright. 


Dr Y : Who murdered your family? Was it 
you? 


D-8956: I'm tired of this. If | didn't kill them 
then why the hell did they place me here? You 
already know the answer. | don't need to spell 
it out. 


Dr Y : Actually, SCP-3463 is the one who did 
it. 


D-8956: Oh my god! That monster! How could 
you? 


Dr Y : Test successful. Ending the interview. 
<End Log> 


Closing Statement: The heart rate monitor 
never beeped during the interview. It's actually 
very impressive. 

~DrY 1 


+ Show Update Log 


Update Log: DrJ_, an ex-employee from the brand 
"National" once told "All previous information about 


SCP-3463 is false" to Dr Y . His theory was verified. 
Every previous document about SCP-3463 have been 
erased to prevent confusion and the spread of false 
infohazardous information. The description and the 
special containment procedures have been altered. 
SCP-3463 is now considered as a fan and not a [DATA 
CORRUPTED]. DrJ_ was promoted for his important 
contributions. 


C:\> Show history of file SCP-3463 


Access granted to previous versions of the file concerning the 
anomaly. 


Loading history of file SCP-3463... 
[DATA CORRUPTED] 

+ Open Version #256 

Item #: SCP-3463 

Object Class: Keter 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3463 is 
required to live in a average sized pool of water with its 
own ecosystem that is similar to those of ponds in rural 
areas with sub-continental weather conditions. 


Documentation concerning SCP-3463 is only available to 
a select group of personnel and is to be guarded with a 
password. Any sentence made about SCP-3463 must be 
checked for factuality. Personnel assigned to SCP-3463 
must have scored less than ten points on the Test of 
Manipulative Personality Traits. Personnel assigned to 
SCP-3463 must not be diagnosed with disorders which 
prohibit verbal communication. When reporting on 
SCP-3463, metaphors and comparisons are strictly 
forbidden. 


Description: SCP-3463 is a five decimeters tall brown 
male specimen from the mallard duck specie weighing 
approximately one kilogram. Its physical form does not 
possess any anomalous traits or behaviors for its specie. 


Any sentence said about SCP-3463 is true to anyone 
reading or hearing it despite lack of evidence or evidence 
opposing the statement. The individual is immune to his 
statement unless another individual repeats it to him. 
Even if an individual is aware of the cognitohazardous 
capabilities of SCP-3463, he is unable to deny any 
information about the specimen. 


Information about SCP-3463 cannot be forgotten without 
the use of amnestics but its effects can be replaced by 
information which contradicts it. The effect of SCP-3463 
disappears after approximately five years. 


Update Log: 


After much thought and reflection, | have 
decided that the containment of SCP-3463 
should be not carried out by the O5 Council 
but instead by a select group of personnel 
chosen by the council, such as before iteration 
# . An anomalous duck is simply not worth our 
time and effort. 

~O5-5 


+ Open Version #255 
Item #: SCP-3463 
Object Class: Keter 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3463 is 
required to be stored in a small cabinet. Any sentence 
about SCP-3463 must be checked for factuality. 
Documentation concerning SCP-3463 is only available to 
the O5 council. When reporting on SCP-3463, 
metaphors and comparisons are strictly forbidden. 


Description: SCP-3463 is an American one dollar bill. 
Its physical form does not possess any anomalous traits. 


Any sentence said by an individual about SCP-3463 is 
true for the individual's listener despite a lack of evidence 
or evidence opposing the statement. The individual is 
immune to his statement unless another individual 
repeats it to him. Even if an individual is aware of 
SCP-3463's effects, they are unable to deny any 
information about SCP-3463. 


Information about SCP-3463 cannot be forgotten without 
the use of amnestics but its effects can be replaced by 
information which contradicts it. The effect of SCP-3463 
disappears after approximately five years. 


Update Log: Dr U_ suggested that information 
regarding SCP-3463 should only be available to the O5 
Council. Dr U and all other personnel working on 
SCP-3463 have been amnestized. The O5 Council is 
now responsible for all information and containment 
regarding SCP-3463. 


[DATA CORRUPTED] 
[DATA NOT FOUND] 
+ Open Version #1 
Item #: SCP-3463 
Object Class: Keter 


Special Containment Procedures: Documentation 
concerning SCP-3463 is to be guarded with a password. 
Personnel assigned to SCP-3463 must have scored less 
than ten points on the Test of Manipulative Personality 
Traits, must not have dyslexia, dysgraphia, agraphia or 
speech impairment and are required to possess 20/20 
vision. When reporting on SCP-3463, metaphors and 
comparisons are forbidden. 


Description: SCP-3463 is a memetic thought which 
spreads and evolves through verbal and written human 
communication and interaction. Any statement made by 
an individual concerning SCP-3463 is believed by 
anyone listening to the individual even when there is an 
absence of evidence or logic in the individual's 
statement. The individual is not affected by their own use 
of the statement, but is affected if the statement is 
repeated by someone else. Even if an individual is 
conscious of SCP-3463's effects, they are incapable of 
doubting it. 


Information about SCP-3463 cannot be forgotten without 
the use of amnestics, but its effects on an individual can 
be replaced by another statement about SCP-3463 
which contradicts the previous one. The effect of 
SCP-3463 disappears after approximately five years. 


SCP-3463 has been confirmed to be aware of the 
Foundation's existence due to the entity corresponding to 
the name of SCP-3463 during its time of discovery and 
research. 


Discovery Log: SCP-3463 was found after DrK was 
speaking to Dr R about the previously empty 
SCP-3463 entry. He discovered that Dr R_ would 
believe any statement concerning SCP-3463. He 
experimented on subjects to confirm his belief and he 
was correct about the existence of the anomaly. 


Notes: 


Since SCP-3463 is only a meme that thrives 
on human error, we can only count on 
ourselves this time. There's no technology to 
contain it, only us. Any lie or mistake we make 
will cost us the truth. We cannot let our guard 
down. 


~DrL 


After years of research, we have come up with 
a hypothesis which may reveal the intent of 
SCP-3463. SCP-3463 interacts with human 
thoughts and false depictions of itself as if it 
wanted to be real. As if SCP-3463 demands to 
exist in our physical realm but cannot. It is only 
a thought. However, SCP-3463 is intelligent. It 
understands that our knowledge of reality is 
only limited to what our flawed perception of it 
can provide us. 

This is why any statement said or written about 
SCP-3463 becomes true for its viewer or 
hearer. Anything will suffice for SCP-3463, 
anything that may be derogatory or 
complementary. As long as it is more than a 
thought in the human mind, it is satisfied. Yet 
in reality it always remains the same object. 


~DrF 
C:\> Close history of file SCP-3463 
Closing history of file SCP-3463... 
C:\> Close file SCP-3463 
Closing file SCP-3463... 
C:\> Shutdown SCPSYSTEM 
Shutting down... 


Footnotes 
1. The object did not murder D-8956's family, nor is it red. It is in 
fact, blue. 


SCP-3464: Even Garlic Bread Can Be Creepy 


Item #: SCP-3464 
Object Class: Neutralized 


Special Containment Procedures: 449 instances of SCP-3464 are 
contained in the Low-priority Safe Containment Wing of Site-82. All 
instances have ceased to display any anomalous properties, thereby 
rendering SCP-3464 Neutralized. 


As no new instances of SCP-3464 have been produced, further 
containment is dedicated to the suppression of information regarding 
SCP-3464's true nature. 


Description: SCP-3464 was a large quantity of garlic bread 
disseminated throughout the United States and Canada between the 
months of April and September 2018. 


Each instance of SCP-3464 was baked using ingredients typical of 
garlic bread, which includes mozzarella cheese, garlic shavings, 
parsley, and yeast. SCP-3464 instances vary in mass from a 0.2 kg 
slice to a 2 kg loaf. 449 total instances of SCP-3464 have been 
located. 


SCP-3464's anomalous properties manifest upon serving, prior to 
consumption. SCP-3464 expands to 10 times its initial size; a 
proportionate mass of garlic bread is newly generated!. After its 
growth, SCP-3464 vocalizes about the impact of food waste using 
the voice of acclaimed voice actor Don LaFontaine. Vocalizations 
occur for up to 5 minutes. The following is an excerpt from one such 
vocalization: 


In a world, where we could have our cake and eat it too, 
we savoured every last bite. Now, when the stakes have 
risen, our final feast may be eaten alone. Every day, we 
face hunger. Paranoia. Shortage. And the most horrifying 


struggle of all. Sharing. With our final meal fast 
approaching, we look to you as the last line of defense. 
Take the bite, or suffer the consequences. 


SCP-3464 is safe for consumption before, during, and after the 
anomalous effects manifest. Approximately 15% of persons 
consuming SCP-3464 reported feeling pressured against wasting 
food for 1 month after consumption. 


Incident 3464-450-Kerala: On September 27th, 2018, the 450th 
instance of SCP-3464 (SCP-3464-450) was discovered in an Olive 
Garden restaurant in Toronto, Ontario. The following is a log 
compiled from the restaurant's surveillance system, as well as 
witness testimony from patrons and Olive Garden staff. 


VIDEO LOG 


<Begin Log, 01:26 PM> 


<0:00:00> Two individuals in long grey overcoats (Kerala/K-1 
and K-2) appear. The pair surveys their surroundings before 
quickly entering the restaurant. 30 other patrons are present 
in various stages of dining. 


<0:02:20> An attendant leads the pair towards a table in the 
centre of the restaurant and asks if they require the menu, 
which they decline. 


<0:02:51> K-1 orders a pajata2 seasoned with basil and 
shredded bay leaves. K-2 orders flame-broiled capretto3 
cooked in benzoin oil and seasoned with black pepper and 
asafoetida spice, as well as a side order of "sempiternal 
Empyrean garlic bread". 


<0:13:14> The attendant returns with the requested orders4. 


<0:14:02> K-1 prepares a thaumaturgical circle. K-2 places 
SCP-3464-450 in the middle. The two dishes are ritualistically 
offered and summarily consumed by the garlic bread. The 
garlic bread begins to grow as the table collapses beneath it. 


shone until batteries were out of power. 


Results: Both batteries lasted roughly 28% longer than usual and 
were tinted a light green. The light from the flashlight was also a light 
green. 


Notes: "Alright, this we can probably use. Pretty sure dead bodies 
can't use batteries, but someone may wanna make sure that the 
green light doesnt have the same properties as the normal slime." - 
Dr. Clinton 


Date: / / 
Test Subject: Ten (10) M202A1 FLASH rockets 


Procedure: Rockets were coated in SCP-447-2 for fifty (50) minutes, 
loaded into a M202A1 FLASH, to test explosion size, flame duration, 
and accuracy. 


Results: The explosion size remained the same. The flames post- 
detonation lasted 10% longer, along with having a greenish tint. No 
temperature difference noted. No difference in accuracy. 


Notes: “Well, the accuracy of it isn’t improved because it’s not the 
rocket launcher itself, it’s the rockets!” -Weapons Researcher 
Person 


“Weapons Researcher Person, it is requested that you not do this 
again. Weapons have a way of creating dead bodies. Actually, wait 
a moment. How did you even get in? With a weapon?” 

-Senior Researcher 


“| have my ways.” -Weapons Researcher Person 


<0:17:51> At this point, SCP-3464-450 has expanded to fill 
the room, obstructing all entrances and windows. Foundation 
Field Thaumatology Specialist-'9 ("The Custodian") bypasses 
the entrance to the restaurants, ordering all patrons to 
evacuate. K-1 commands patrons to consume the garlic 
bread, to which some comply. 


<0:18:24> As patrons consume substantial amounts of 
SCP-3464-450 it radiates a blue glow, suggesting the transfer 
of Elan-Vital Energies (EVEs). The Elan-Vital essences® of 
patrons that have consumed the garlic bread (which includes 
11 adults, 4 children, and 1 infant) are absorbed into 
SCP-3464-450 while their bodies collapse. FTS-'9 vocalizes 
containment incantations, allowing unaffected patrons and 
Olive Garden staff to safely evacuate’. 


<0:20:10> K-2 begins a summoning ritual using a vial of an 
unidentified crimson liquid. FTS-'9 attempts to stop K-2 but is 
assailed by the bodies of collapsed patrons, which have 
become necromantically influenced by K-1. 


<0:23:49> K-2 summons a Type-Ill (incorporeal) Tartarean 
entity. FTS-'9 returns 7 essences to their owners. 


<0:24:09> The entity manifests within SCP-3464-450. K-1 
and K-2 consume the garlic bread8.