SCP-2395 is tied to a small rebar loop embedded in the ground by a 
0.7m length of twine. SCP-2395's dimensions are 258m by 90m in 
length and width; a 2.5 m layer of Polyethylene covers the paper 
inscribed with SCP-2395's price. 


SCP-2395 possesses unpredictable centrifugal and centripetal 
movement around the rebar loop, usually being manipulated and 
shifted by unknown forces in random directions and velocities. One 
instance has occurred where SCP-2395 maintained a constant 
velocity of approximately 65km/h on the date of 11/2/16, spinning 
clockwise for 49 seconds. Researchers note the twine that secures 
SCP-2395 to the rebar loop may possess anomalous tensile 
properties. 


SCP-2395-A is a wooden shack located 0.3km east of SCP-2395. 
The structure is empty, save for a room in which an unknown 
individual, presumably a human female, prohibits access from 
within. The door to their room is engraved with the initials "L.C.E." 


This individual (designated SCP-2395-B) has responded to no 
verbal communication, but has occasionally been recorded 
conversing with other entities. 


Addendum 2395-Q: [8/2/1968] After numerous attempts to 
establish an interview with SCP-2395-B, surveillance cameras 
recorded a saw protruding from the door, creating a rectangular hole 
akin to a mail slot, and a scrap of paper being pushed out. A written 
message on the paper contained the following: 


fine, write down questions and ill get to them in my down 
time 


Dr. Mill from Area-30 was brought to communicate with SCP-2395- 
B, and suggested continued usage of paper notes to recover more 

information. Note that SCP-2395-B's responses are received in one 
to two days following Dr. Mill's responses. 


Mill: So if you would prefer | pass notes like this, rather 
than converse, all I'd like to do is ask a few questions 
regarding your environment and role, would this be fine? 


2395-B: <10 words or else you're wasting my time 
Mill: Could you explain why you're here? 

2395-B: It's fricking cold all day and | have work 
Mill: What kind of work? 


2395-B: I'm waiting for purchase offers. The price isn't 
set in stone, but this is the kind of minimum we have to 
offer to make a profit 


Mill: So you're working for an organization? 
2395-B: You blind or something, name's on the door 
Mill: Can you explain the price tag's movement? 


2395-B: Already said I'm trying to make a sale here. 


Mill: What exactly are you selling? 
2395-B: Earth. 
Mill: Please elaborate. 


2395-B: Earth, planet, terra nova, blue ball of life, flesh 
cesspool, etcetera. 


Mill: That doesn't explain the price tag's movement. 


2395-B: Well, you know when you pick up a stick with a 
dying leaf on it? Or when you pick up something at a 
store with a price tag attached to it and inspect it a bit, 
and the price tag might flop around a bit? And you might 
grab the price tag to get a look at the price? Now 
imagine something else looking at that price tag. Actually 
scratch that, since you can't. 


You getting it now? We're selling the Earth. And I'm busy 
speaking to willing buyers. 


Addendum 2395-LC: For more information regarding Group of 
Interest "Light Courier Enterprises", contact Dr. Mill for abnormal 
incidents. Further information can also be obtained from SCP-1920, 
SCP-1940, SCP-1740, and SCP-2940. 


« SCP-2394 | SCP-2395 | SCP-2396 » 


SCP-2396: Ms. Sweetie 


Item #: SCP-2396 
Object Class: Keter Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2396 is to be contained in 
Provisional Site-2396. Provisional Site-2396 will only be staffed by 
employees who identify as a woman in any capacity. Until a method 
of neutralizing SCP-2396's effect can be found, there will be no 
attempt to move it from the site. SCP-2396 is to be given a single 
liter of glucose syrup a day. 


All male-identified civilians found within a six kilometer radius around 
Provisional Site-2396 are to be detained and screened for contact 
with SCP-2396-A. Any civilian found to be compromised is to be 
terminated before becoming an instance of SCP-2396-B. All 
SCP-2396-B instances encountered in the wild are to be terminated. 
Due to SCP-2396's current location, all terminated individuals are to 
be given a standard “Lost Hiker” cover story. Any civilians who 
witness an instance of SCP-2396-B are to be administered Class-B 
amnestics. 


SCP-2396-A instances are to be incinerated immediately. All areas 
in a six kilometer radius around Provisional Site-2396 are to be 
closely monitored at all times for SCP-2396-A instances by 
Containment Task Force Lambda-6 (“Girly Girls”). If an instance of 
SCP-2396-B instance is located, CTF A-6 is to be called in to enact 
termination procedures. As with Provisional Site-2396, CTF A-6 is to 
be staffed only with task force operatives who identify as a woman in 
any capacity. 


All containment efforts are to be oriented toward finding a way to 
neutralize SCP-2396's area of effect to facilitate containment. 


SCP-2396 is to be housed in a standard humanoid containment cell 
in the Low Security Wing of Site-19. Daily, SCP-2396 is to be given 


a single liter of liquid sucralose it believes to be sugar. For ease of 
containment, all staff interacting with it are to identify as women in 
some capacity. No other precautions are necessary. 


Description: SCP-2396 is a female humanoid, approximately 2.5m 
tall and weighing 101kg. SCP-2396 is identical to a baseline female 
human in appearance, with the exception of naturally occurring pink 
hair and irises. The words "Ms. Sweetie, from Little Misters ® by Dr. 
Wondertainment" are tattooed along the outside of SCP-2396's left 

thigh. 


When denied sugar any food item identified as containing sugar, 
SCP-2396 claims to undergo great pain, necessitating a constant 
supply of sugar or food items identified as such. The amount of 
sugar is unimportant in maintaining its anomalous effect. The 
consumption of sugars in any amount will cause SCP-2396's blood 
sugar level to reach a constant level of ~400 mg/dL. Due to its 
abnormally high blood sugar levels, the object is was in a constant 
state of hyperglycemia, stating to suffer from constant headaches 
and blurred vision. Despite its consumption of food, SCP-2396 does 
not exhibit any excretory bodily functions or change in weight. 


While SCP-2396 is “fueled” with sugar, any male individual (who is 
not currently a SCP-2396-B instance) coming within 50 yards of her 
expresses a strong desire to leave and reorient their position as far 
from SCP-2396 as possible. Male-identified individuals brought in 
direct contact with SCP-2396 undergo symptoms similar to a 
diabetic coma. The object claims that this is to “keep nasty brothers 
and their friends away.” 


SCP-2396-A instances are small objects comprised of simple sugars 
that resemble assorted colors of hard candy. SCP-2396-A instances 
appear anywhere within a six kilometer radius of SCP-2396's current 
location, with a greater density appearing in areas known to contain 
human traffic. Due to their size and the large area of SCP-2396's 
area of effect, placement and amount of SCP-2396-A is uncertain. 
The production of SCP-2396-A is known to increase when 
SCP-2396 undergoes stress. While SCP-2396-A objects are 
harmless when touched or ingested by female-identified humans, 
male-identified humans undergo a gradual transformation to an 
instance of SCP-2396-B. 


Transformation into an instance of SCP-2396-B is marked by an 
increase in blood sugar levels, sometimes exceeding 600 mg/dL. 
Due to this, many who come into contact with SCP-2396-A are 
immobilized immediately by the rapid increase in blood sugar. Over 
a period of up to twelve hours, the individual's flesh, fluids, and bone 
are, through an unknown process, converted into hard candy which 
replicates and molds the body, causing the individual to become an 
instance of SCP-2396-B. 


SCP-2396-B instances take the form of large humanoid constructs 
and, rarely, unicorns. Once an SCP-2396-B entity has been fully 
converted, it will make way toward SCP-2396 and attempt to breach 
its containment. SCP-2396-B entities show a strong resistance 
toward blunt-force trauma and exhibit abnormal strength. SCP-2396- 
B entities will attack any male-identified individuals in their line of 
sight. SCP-2396-B entities follow any commands given by any 
female-identified individual, including orders to stand down, and are 
most easily terminated with fire, whether through incinerator or 
flamethrower. 


SCP-2396 ceases production of SCP-2396-A and its effect on male- 
identified individuals when it has not ingested sugar for longer than 
48 hours. At this time, its blood sugar level stays at a constant 

10 mg/dL. Due to the similarity between the effects of hyperglycemia 
and hypoglycemia as exhibited in SCP-2396, the object is unable to 
recognize the difference when given a similar amount of artificial 
sugars. 


+ Interview 2396-5 


This was the fifth interview with the object 
while in containment. SCP-2396 had been 
administered sucralose instead of its usual 
sugar for a week as of that time. For the sake 
of containment and gaining information, 
SCP-2396 was made to believe that it was still 
creating instances of SCP-2396-A and 
SCP-2396-B. 


Dr. O'Herlihy: Good morning, SCP-2396. 


SCP-2396: Oh, come on, Cindy! You don't 
have to be all stuffy with your best gal! 


Dr. O'Herlihy: Alright, SCP-2396, are you 
aware another SCP-2396-B attempted to 
breach your containment? 


SCP-2396: That's just boys. Always gotta be 
makin’ a big stink of things when they wanna 
get your attention. Ain't it always like that? 
Never a man, always a boy. Always beatin’ up 
their friends when they think they're gettin’ too 
close. A man's always gotta have his hands 
busy or else they're gonna be in the air. 


Dr. O'Herlihy: They seem to be concentrating 
on taking you away from here. Are you 
unhappy here, SCP-2396? 


SCP-2396: A woman ain't happy anywhere. 
Isn't that what they say? 


Dr. O'Herlihy: | am not aware of any such 
saying. 


SCP-2396: It should be one. | don't know, 
Lucy, | think it's just because every gal wants a 
big strong lug to sweep her off her feet, and 
these are sweet boys, deep down. Even if 
they're sticky. I'm sure they'd sweep you off 
your feet, too, if you girls asked. 


Dr. O'Herlihy: Then what about the instances 
that resemble unicorns? 


SCP-2396: Don't you just love unicorns? All 
little girls love unicorns. You can eat them, too, 
when you get bored. Little girls get bored. It's 
good to have boys and unicorns you can eat 
when you're finished. 


SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: In an attempt to replicate the 
conditions above, SCP-261 was powered, but powered off as the 
item was being dispensed. 

Item Description: 1 bottle of "Royal Crown Cider", text in English. 
Alcoholic variant of Royal Crown Cola with apple flavoring; testing 
showed a taste similar to a very sweet, very strong apple cider. The 
Dr. Pepper-Snapple Group does not manufacture this drink. 


Money Entered: 300 Yen 

SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Unpowered, but powered on 
when item was being dispensed. 

Item Description: A pair of live raccoons, one male and one 
female. Biopsy showed no abnormalities in physiology. Inspection of 
SCP-261 found a small pamphlet with text in Spanish instructing 
how to care for the raccoons, with no indication that they were 
meant to be eaten. 


Money Entered: 300 Yen 

SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Unpowered, but powered on 
when item was being dispensed. 

Item Description: Thirteen twigs from a yew tree, with a purple 
wrapper depicting fairies bundling them together, text in an unknown 
language. Pictographic instructions indicated that twigs should be 
ignited before consumption, and consumed while burning. Doing so 
resulted in the wood burning purple, giving off a smell similar to 
artificial grape flavoring. Attempting to eat resulted in second-degree 
burns to the mouth of D-Class personnel. Remaining samples in 
storage. 


Note from research team: To control for possible sources of 
anomalous behavior, a single newly-minted 100-yen coin was used 
for each of the following tests. 


Money entered: 100 yen 

SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered 

Item description: Utz "Crab Chip" - 2 oz (57 g) bag of Old Bay 
flavored potato chips. Contents not anomalous. 


Money entered: 100 yen 
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered 


Dr. O'Herlihy: Isn't that a little reductive? 


SCP-2396: Look, toots. I'm a girls’ toy, and it's 
a man's world. What do you want from me? 


Dr. O'Herlihy: Is that why you repel men? 
Because you're a girls' toy? 


SCP-2396: Dr. W didn't like it when boys 
break their sisters' toys. Told me it was damn 
near the worst thing in the world. And they 
can't break me. They can't even come near 
me. Well, 'cept if they're, you know, all sweet 
and handsome. 


Dr. O'Herlihy: And you're happy with the way 
things are? 


SCP-2396: Dr. W's good in my book. | always 
had a sweet tooth, and | always wanted to be 
a girl. Kind of an okay trade-off, if you ask me. 
You guys ain't so bad, though. Even if the 
food's shit. Don't know how you mess up 
sugar, Sarah, but you guys make it taste like 
shit. 


Addendum 2396-1: When prompted, SCP-2396 claimed to have 
lost any certification but was able to recite the following in full: 


+ Access Document 2396-1 


Wow! You've just found yourself your very 
own Little Mister, a limited edition collection 
from Dr. Wondertainment! 


Find them all and become Mr. Collector!! 


01. Mr. Chameleon 
02. Mr. Headless 
03. Mr. Laugh 

04. Mr. Forgettul 
05. Mr. Shapey 


06. Mr. 
07. Mr. 
08. Mr. 
09. Mr. 
10. Ms. 
11. Mr. 
12. Mr. 
13. Mr. 
14. Mr. 
15. Mr. 
16. Mr. 
17. Mr. 
18. Mr. 
19. Mr. 
20. Mr. 


Soap 

Hungry 

Brass 

Hot 

Sweetie ¥ 

Life and Mr. Death 
Fish 

Moon 

Redd (discontinued) 
Money 

Lost 

Lie 

Mad 

Scary 

Stripes 


Of note is that SCP-2396 verbalized every punctuation mark and 
spoke SCP-2284's title as a long exhalation of air. 


« SCP-2395 | SCP-2396 | SCP-2397 » 


SCP-2397: Homesickness 


Item #: SCP-2397 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: Provisional Site-193 has been 
established in order to contain SCP-2397. The anomalous area, as 
well as a buffer zone of 100 meters on all sides, is currently 
enclosed by 4.5-meter tall chain link fencing on all sides. Signs are 
to be posted around the site's perimeter warning of physical hazards 
relating to the area's history of mining activity. Any civilians found 
approaching or within the fenced area are to be interrogated, 
administered Class-C amnestics, and released. 


Description: SCP-2397 is a square region of land, 1.3 kilometers to 
a side, located several miles outside of the small town of __, 
Alaska, near the side of Alaska Route . Human subjects within 
SCP-2397 invariably perceive it as being a part of the US state of 
lowa. Subjects’ perception of SCP-2397 appear to be otherwise 
normal. Observers standing outside of the item's perimeter do not 
experience any of its effects. In addition to this perceptual anomaly, 
other abnormal phenomena sometimes occur within SCP-2397. In 
the past, these phenomena have included: 


¢ Small patches of Andropogon gerardii and other prairie 
grasses not normally found in the region 

¢ The regular appearance of corn husks within the northeastern 
corner of SCP-2397 

¢ The sound of Carduelis tristis (American goldfinch) calls. No 
physical or visual evidence of the species’ presence within 
SCP-2397 has been detected. 

¢ A strong urge among human subjects to "go home" or to 
speak with family members 

¢ Feelings of a sense of vastness and distance, often described 
as uncomfortable