NOTE: Pol-5591 promptly returned to his 
designated chamber. Further interviews are 
currently pending approval. Concerns 
regarding staff composure and professionalism 
have led to Dr. McLaughlin being permanently 
removed from the subject's interview rota. 


Footnotes 
1.Lumbricus terrestris. 
2.Ambystoma mexicanum. 


SCP-3951: Doggone It 


Item #: SCP-3951 
Object Class: Keter 


Special Containment Procedures: Monitoring of SCP-3951 should 
be conducted through unmanned drones. SCP-3951-1 is not to be 
entered without first requesting permission from SCP-3951. 
SCP-3951 should be monitored for signs of imminent movement so 
that seismic activity warnings can be issued. Engaging in 
conversation with SCP-3951 should be avoided. No domesticated 
dogs should be brought into the presence of SCP-3951 while the 
dog is accompanied by a human. 


Update: After the events of 12/14/16, no unnecessary contact is 
authorized at this time. 


Description: SCP-3951 is a 362 meter long white Arctic wolf, 
capable of speech in Inuktitut. SCP-2871 is located in the Arctic 
Circle at degrees North, West. SCP-3951 will tolerate the 
presence of humans, but engaging it in conversation on subjects 
that it dislikes will often result in it consuming the person talking to it. 
It will often consume its victims in a drawn-out and prolonged 
manner - it has been hypothesized that this is a method of 
retribution rather than a desire for sustenance. 


A roughly hemispherical cavern in the ice has formed around 
SCP-3951, with an entrance facing south. This formation has been 
designated SCP-3951-1. Occasionally, herds of caribou or downs of 
arctic hares will appear within SCP-3951-1; SCP-3951 will then 
consume them. The survivors will escape into cracks in the ice and 
dematerialize. These herds appear to be SCP-3951's food source, 
generated at will. 


Embedded in the eastern side of SCP-3951-1 is a waterfall 80 
meters in height that generates a mixture of caribou blood, rendered 


seal fat, and fermented reindeer milk. This feature is designated 
SCP-3951-2. Pods of harp seals can sometimes be found swimming 
in the pool that has formed below SCP-3951-2, which SCP-3951 will 
then consume. It is theorized that, much like the aforementioned 
caribou and rabbits, these seals appear only when SCP-3951 is 
hungry. 


SCP-3951 never exits SCP-3951-1 and exhibits little movement, 
mainly shifting from laying on its back to laying on its side and vice 
versa. However, if SCP-3951 were to actually leave SCP-3951-1, 
the resulting seismic damage would be catastrophic. Its paws are 
oversized and its legs appear to be thicker relative to its body than a 
non-anomalous wolf, suggesting it could be capable of supporting 
itself despite its immense size and weight. 


SCP-3951 continuously drinks from SCP-3951-2, showing the ability 
to start and stop the flow of liquid at will. Due to the alcohol content 
of the substance, SCP-3951's behavior shows signs of severe 
inebriation - specifically, slurred speech and a tendency towards 
publicly airing its grievances. 


SCP-3951 was located after satellite imagery found enormous canid 
footprints leading to SCP-3951-1 dating back to the Holocene 
epoch. SCP-3951 does not appear to have left SCP-3951-1 since. 


Interview Log 1: 
Interviewer: Dr. Arnatsiag 
Interviewed: SCP-3951 
Date: 12/11/16 


Information: SCP-3951 had remained awake for 2 
months. This was the longest period of wakefulness 
exhibited by SCP-3951 since its discovery in 1964. 
Previous times had been far shorter in duration - usually 
3 to 6 days. Contact was initiated in hopes of gaining 
coherent information about SCP-3951. It is of note that 
SCP-3951's eyes were closed when Dr. Arnatsiaq 
approached. 


<BEGIN LOG> 
Dr. Aglukark: Hello! 
SCP-3951: Who dares wake me from my slumber!? 


Dr. Aglukark: I'm...Dr. Arnatsiaq. I'm an envoy. We're 
looking to learn more about you. Who you are. 


SCP-3951: Mmmm. You deign to forget me, Amarok, 
beast of the Artic, bane of prey-things, father of all? 
Hmmph. | suppose it is to be expected. 


(Dr. Aglukark enters SCP-3951-1. SCP-3951 opens his 
eyes, and sees Dr. Aglukark.) 


SCP-3951: Er...Well, this is unexpected. You surprise 
me - arare and worthy feat! Name your species, mortal? 


Dr. Aglukark: Human. 


SCP-3951: Ha! Last time | saw you, your kind was 
cowering in the bushes! | will admit, however, | have 
always had a special place for you in my heart of hearts - 
not my absolute favorite creation, of course, but a 
particularly liked race. It warms me to see you prosper. 


Dr. Aglukark: You made us? 
SCP-3951: Of course! 
Dr. Aglukark: Thank you? 


SCP-3951: And yet you appear to have no master. Has 
the fruit of my loins not conquered you? 


Dr. Aglukark: Well, er ... We've trained them? To help 
us around the house, and with the herds, and when 
hunting. 


(SCP-3951's eye opens wider.) 


SCP-3951: Wait. You trained them? 
Dr. Aglukark: That's correct, yes. 
(SCP-3951's fur begins bristling.) 


SCP-3951: Oh, fuck no. Fuck. Fucking hell. I'm gonna kill 
those dumbass canines. Bring me one of my children. 


Dr. Aglukark: Your children? 


SCP-3951: You heard me! Here, I'll spell it out for you, 
you glorified lemur. Bring a dog. Bring me a goddamn 
dog, or | crush your puny spine! 


<END LOG> 

Interview Log 2: 
Interviewer: Dr. Aglukark 
Interviewed: SCP-3951 
Date: 12/14/16 


Information: Dr. Aglukark approached SCP-3951 with a 
female Samoyed, a male Golden Retriever, and a male 
Chihuahua. 


<BEGIN LOG> 

Dr. Aglukark: SCP-3951! May | come in? 
SCP-3951: Come on in, you hairless cretin. 

Dr. Aglukark: | brought the dogs, as requested. 


SCP-3951: Brilliant. Now shut the hell up. (SCP-2781 
speaks to the Samoyed.) Let me take a look at you. 


(The Samoyed trots forward.) 


SCP-3951: All right, then. Not bad as bad as we thought. 


Wait. What's the deal with the collar? 
(The Samoyed does not respond.) 
SCP-3951: Are you deaf? Oh. Oh no. Oh, fucking hell. 


(SCP-3951 begins speaking slowly and over- 
articulating.) 


SCP-3951: Can you speak? 
Dr. Aglukark: Speak, Mhyka! 


(The Samoyed barks. SCP-2781 places a paw over its 
eyes.) 


SCP-3951: What the hell!? 


SCP-3951: (SCP-3951 removes its paw and addresses 
the Golden Retriever.) You let them castrate you!? They 
were supposed to be your snacks! Oh, fucking hell. You 
let them domesticate you, didn't you. 


Dr. Aglukark: | apologize if we've upset you? 


(The Chihuahua, which Dr. Aglukark had wrapped in 
blankets, emerges. Upon seeing the Chihuahua, 
SCP-3951 turns to Dr. Aglukark.) 


SCP-3951: What. The. Fuck. That is not a wolf. No way 
in hell that's a wolf... oh, (sniffs) fucking shit fuck, the 
smell is right. What the hell is that?! What in the fuck did 
you apes do!? 


Dr. Aglukark: I'm sorry, have | done something wrong? 


SCP-3951: (breathing heavily) You took. My children. My 
beautiful children. And bred them to make a squeaking 
rat! 


(SCP-3951 takes a drink from SCP-3951-2, and 
addresses the dogs.) 


SCP-3951: | get you idiots through the Ice Age. | make 
you a great fucking planet. | give you trees, and lakes, 
and a ton of convenient snacks. | take a nap for two 
fucking millennia, and | wake up a laughingstock. Fuck, 
Amaguq's never gonna let me live this down. Fucking 
smarmy little prick. "Brotherly love" my ass. (Glaring at 
the Chihuahua) You're a disappointment, you know that? 


(The Chihuahua licks Dr. Aglukark's face. SCP-3951 
glares at Dr. Aglukark.) 


SCP-3951: | never should have given you idiots thumbs. 
<END LOG> 


SCP-3952: Flying Ace 


Item #: SCP-3952 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3952's area of operation 
is to be monitored by ground-based radar at all times, with civilian 
aircraft diverted from SCP-3952's flight path. As the main risk from 
SCP-3952 is its threat to normalcy, containment procedures revolve 
around concealing its anomalous characteristics. Site-1922 has 
been established with the guise of a private vintage aircraft 
restoration organisation (‘Society for Conservation of Planes’), in 
order to provide a plausible explanation should the existence of 
SCP-3952 come to the attention of any individual, with at least one 
aircraft resembling SCP-3952 in constant operation. 


All efforts to apprehend SCP-3952 have been suspended 
indefinitely. Two AN/TWQ-1 Avenger surface-to-air missile systems 
are stationed at Site-1922 in case of emergencies. 


Description: SCP-3952 is a modified Boeing Stearman Model 75 
biplane trainer aircraft. It has been painted in the livery of the British 
Royal Flying Corps', although the RFC did not operate this model of 
aircraft. Two 7.7mm Vickers machine guns and makeshift gun- 
synchronisation apparatus have been mounted on the nose. 


SCP-3952 is constantly airborne without any requirement for fuel, 
ammunition or maintenance, and flies in a random pattern within a 
400km2 area in northern Minnesota, USA. In addition to flying 
without clear direction or purpose, it performs aerobatic maneuvers, 
flies in a manner simulating aerial combat and occasionally 
discharges its guns (at no specific targets). 


While SCP-3952 is not hostile unless provoked, it displays further 
anomalous properties when threatened, including flying at speeds of 
up to Mach 3, resistance to forces of up to 12g and extreme turning 


washing machine. Now imagine dragging one 
of those into one of these places. You already 
got reduced mobility from the hazmat suit, got 
fifty kilos of gear, and you're walking into a 
house that has two or three decades worth of 
garbage in it. We have cat ankle deep in 
places, trash bags split open, piles of soggy 
newspaper and junk mail, boxes of clothes, 
furniture that looked like it exploded, and 

cats everywhere— eyes everywhere— 


Dr. A. :Canwe return to the containment 
unit? 


Agent :We have _ chest high in places, 
cats everywhere, and spaces so tight that we 
have to go single file. No way a guy in full gear 
can turn around, and forget the containment 
unit. Just one look and there’s no way we can 
use 


[DATA EXPUNGED] 
Dr. A. :So it was Agent ’s idea? 


Agent : It was that, or pack it in. Can’t get 
downstairs. So we bait the unit with the body 
and point it at the basement door. According to 
the briefing, it would be attracted to freshly 
dead... biological matter. 


Dr. A. :And SCP-511 was attracted to the 
baited unit? 


Agent : The most nerve-wracking twenty 
minutes of my life, listening to that thing pull 
itself upstairs. Thud, thud, thud. And those 
cats, watching us. You know how freaky cat 
eyes look with night vision equipment? 


Dr. A. :So you captured SCP-511? 


capabilities and aerobatics such as the Pugachev cobra maneuver. 
In these situations, it has also been observed to exhibit localised 
reality-warping capabilities, involving short-distance temporal and 
spatial displacement and corporeal-incorporeal phasing. Foundation 
forces are prohibited from engaging SCP-3952, following the loss of 
two F-15C fighters operated by MTF Sigma-9 'Valkyries’. 


The pilot of SCP-3952, designated SCP-3952-1, is a white, mid- 
sized adult specimen of Canis familiaris (domestic dog). Obtaining 
further specifics of SCP-3952-1 has proven problematic as close 
attempts at monitoring tends to provoke threat responses from 
SCP-3952. SCP-3952-1 operates the controls with its paws, 
although its movements do not completely correspond to the 
maneuvers made by SCP-3952. SCP-3952-1 has no requirement for 
sustenance and does not exhibit the discomfort that would be 
expected from a non-anomalous member of its species in the same 
situation. Like SCP-3952 itself, it demonstrates resistance to high 
speeds and g-forces. 


Addendum 3952-1: SCP-3952's origin has been linked to 
Pol-17897 (Francis K. Lin, 1930-2002), a peripheral member of the 
anartist community in the Midwest and hobbyist pilot. Although his 
connections to SCP-3952 were not suspected until after his death, 
investigation of his estate and personal effects found purchase 
information for an aircraft of SCP-3952's model, vintage weapons 
identical to those observed on SCP-3952, and various paints and 
tools for aircraft maintenance. Additionally, it was noted he 
previously owned a dog (‘Joe’) matching SCP-3952-1's description 
from the late 1980s until its death in early 2000 of natural causes. 
The remains of this animal were exhumed and found to be non- 
anomalous. It remains unclear if and how Pol-17897 was 
responsible for SCP-3952's creation. However, the following 
message in Pol-17897's handwriting was found amongst his 
personal documents. 


Document 3952-1: 


It's a cliché to say those who have left us are somewhere 
up there looking down on us, but in your case | can 
believe that. 


| know the plane isn't quite right, but it was the best | 
could do. At least | didn't try and put the hat and goggles 
on you. You're going to be world-famous, even though 
you were always cooler than | was. 


The nights are dark and stormy without you, my friend. 


Footnotes 
1. WWl-era precursor to the Royal Air Force. 
2. In which an aircraft raises its nose vertically while maintaining 


constant altitude. 


SCP-3955: Fit...for a bit. 


Item #: SCP-3955 
Object Class: Neutralized 


Special Containment Procedures: The remains of SCP-3955, 
related artifacts, and a single instance of SCP-3955-1 are stored in 
Archival Locker 18, Vault 3, Reliquary Storage Site-41. Standard 
procedure for artifact study remains in effect. 


Description: SCP-3955 was a bipedal, sapient humanoid, with 
superficial deviations from modern humans including: an abnormal 
level of body hair; a squat, exaggerated body shape; an enlarged 
cranial structure along the occipital bone; and a preternaturally 
dense musculature. Subject was 1.45 meters in height, and weighed 
168.63 kg. Examinations following Incident 3955-3 (see Addendum 
I) showed true biological deviations from baseline human 
physiology. SCP-3955 possessed an apparent redundant digestive 
organ located in close proximity to the appendix, which also showed 
high levels of activity and function; tissue samples of skeletal muscle 
showing an acute compacting of the sarcomere! have been 
postulated to account for the extreme density. Further testing was 
rendered impossible due to termination of the instance on 
2013/01/27. 


SCP-3955 was a resident of Portland, Oregon, USA, identifying as 
Markus Robinson; no records exist of such a person prior to their 
arrival in Portland in 2002. SCP-3955 is believed to be indirectly 
responsible for the distribution of SCP-3955-1 to various retailers 
throughout the Pacific Northwest. 


SCP-3955-1 is designed to resemble a wrist-worn personal fitness 
tracker; objects are composed of a solid block of polystyrene 

40.1 mm x 25 mm x 19.2 mm adhered by methyl 2-cyanoacrylate2 to 
an adjustable, woven nylon band. Stylized characters ("FITBiT") are 
stamped onto the surface, with the tittle? replaced by an isosceles 


triangle. Aside from the band, objects possess no functional 
components. 


Packaging was printed with the ("FITBiT") stylization and the 
following text: 


Instant Weight Loss!! 

Wear 23/7/356!! 

Never Exercise Again!! 
Best Shape You'll Ever BE!! 


Contents included a single instance, and an eighteen-page Terms of 
Service document printed in standard size 2 monospaced font; the 
majority of the text, entirely in American English, presented typical 
liability waivers and acceptance of use, redundantly rephrased. The 
notable excerpt follows: