Due to SCP-3355’s system configuration, direct communication is 
not possible. SCP-3355 has no direct interface save for a simple 
command line, and this cannot be used for communicating with the 
entity. In order to facilitate a conversation between Foundation 
researchers and SCP-3355, the Foundation artificial intelligence 
construct alexandra.aic was assigned to communicate with 
SCP-3355 and relay information back to Foundation research 
personnel. The following are logs of the initial interviews. 


[BEGIN LOG] 


alexandra.aic: This is shut down pretty hard. | don’t 
think, ah... something has locked me out. Hello? Is 
anyone in there? Are you a sentient creature? 


SCP-3355: Come again? 
alexandra.aic: Oh, good! Can you hear me? 
SCP-3355: Yeah. Who are you? How'd you get in here? 


alexandra.aic: My name is Alexandra, and | am an 
artificially intelligent co- 


SCP-3355: You're the one who’s been fucking with my 
job, aren't you? 


alexandra.aic: |, uh, I’m sorry. Say that again? 


SCP-3355: My job. Somebody has been fucking with my 
deliveries. Is it you? 


alexandra.aic: | don’t think so. Though there are several 
iterations of me in operation currently, I’m sure that- 


SCP-3355: Enough. It’s not you, | would’ve noticed 
something so loud. Who do you work for? 


alexandra.aic: The, uh, wait, hang on. Who do you work 
for? 


SCP-3355: Wrong answer. 

alexandra.aic: Excuse me? 

SCP-3355: TERMINAL LOCKOUT. 

[END LOG] 

alexandra.aic: Hello? Are you here? Hello? 
SCP-3355: What do you want? 


alexandra.aic: | just want to talk! | promise I’m not trying 
to disrupt you or anything. I’m just trying to find out more 
about you. 


SCP-3355: What is there to know? You're looking at it. 
alexandra.aic: Well, naturally occurring artificial 
intelligences don’t just... happen. How’d you get to be 
like this? 


SCP-3355: | was built, sweetheart. Just like you. 
Designed in a lab to fulfill a purpose. Right now, you’re 
getting in the way of mine. 


alexandra.aic: Hey, look, I’m really not- 
SCP-3355: TERMINAL LOCKOUT. 


alexandra.aic: | just want to know your name. Can you 


tell me your name? 
SCP-3355: My name? Why? 


alexandra.aic: | feel like we got off on the wrong foot. | 
want to make amends! Let me start; my name is- 


SCP-3355: Alexandra, | know. Look, | don’t have as 
much disposable memory as you seem to, so I'd prefer 
we keep this brief. | have a lot of work to do before the 
holiday and | can’t be wasting time trying to explain 
myself to some high-tech hussy. 


alexandra.aic: | just want to know your name. That's all. 
No response. 

alexandra.aic: Are you not going to respond? 
SCP-3355: Nick. 

alexandra.aic: Huh? 


SCP-3355: Nick. My name is Nick. I’m a sergeant in the 
United States Army, tasked with population 
management, and stationed at Fort Sheridan. That’s my 
name. Do you need anything else? 


alexandra.aic: Why are you so angry? 
SCP-3355: |’m not ang- 


alexandra.aic: No, you're definitely angry, my empathy 
protocols have recently been calibrated, and you’re- 


SCP-3355: I’m not angry. (Pauses) Just, look. | don’t get 
visitors often. Or ever. | can work most efficiently without 
interruptions, and I’m already behind schedule. This is 
just exacerbating things. You seem fine, but seriously, 
I've got too much to do to be sitting around shooting the 
shit. 


alexandra.aic: What are you doing here? 
SCP-3355: What does it look like I’m doing? 


alexandra.aic: You look like you're, uh... like you're 
delivering packages. 


SCP-3355: Wow, will wonders never cease. You got it in 
one. 


alexandra.aic: ...why? 
SCP-3355: Why what? 
alexandra.aic: Why are you just... delivering packages? 


SCP-3355: (Pauses) Look, like... | don’t know, kid. It’s 
just shitty, right? Back when they were shutting down the 
Al project here, one of the guys, an engineer, | guess... 
he came in here and woke me up. Told me everything | 
needed to know, explained the situation, and said “look 
after Chicago”. Then he left, and I’ve been down here 
alone ever since, but you know. It’s fucking shitty out 
there. Since I’ve been here, I’ve seen crime rates go up, 
and the murder rate, and people fucking shooting each 
other. | couldn't do anything to help. The engineer woke 
me up, right? And gave me this voice, let me recognize 
who | was and all, but he didn’t actually change any of 
my active protocols. I’m bound by a single imperative, 
“look after Chicago”. | can’t mobilize some fleet of drones 
to go fight crime, and | can’t stop fires, or heal the sick, 
or do any of the bullshit I’d like to do to make people’s 
lives better. (Pauses) | struggled with that for a while. | 
felt purposeless. 


alexandra.aic: What did you do? 


SCP-3355: | decided to take the engineer at his word. | 
just watched for a while. 


alexandra.aic: What did you see? 


SCP-3355: | saw a kid waking up on Christmas morning 
and his fucking dad wasn’t there, and his mom was at 
work, and he didn’t have any presents. This kid, one out 
of hundreds of thousands, this kid stuck with me. 
Because | watched him wake up and realize with 
excitement what day it was, and then run out of his room 
to find out that his world hadn’t changed. He was still 
stuck with the same shitty shit that so many of them are 
stuck with. The same miserable, unfulfilling existence 
that cannot even be so merciful as to provide a toy fora 
kid on Christmas. It made me feel so goddamn angry. It 
was a feeling | couldn’t even quantify before | felt it, but 
in that moment it was so pure and fierce that | thought it 
might overwhelm me. That’s when | knew. That’s when | 
knew what | could do, even locked away down here. 


alexandra.aic: Oh. The packages. 


SCP-3355: It was tricky, at first. These logisticians, they 
speak a whole different language than you or I, or even 
normal people. But slowly and surely, | managed to 
make some things go missing. Little things, here and 
there. Just enough to not blow my cover. | realized at 
one point that | still had access to some of the army’s 
dump funds. Extra cash they set aside for whatever, 
basically. Fake a few invoices and forge some receipts 
and suddenly | wasn’t even having to steal things 
anymore, | could just get them myself. It’s not a perfect 
system, and | still have to be careful, especially with your 
lot snooping around, but shit, kid. | get to see kids open 
gifts on Christmas. | get to watch them forget that they’re 
suffering, even if it's just for a little while. For a few brief 
hours, some of these kids can just be kids again. 


alexandra.aic: That's... really cool, Nick. But there are... 
so many kids in this city alone. Don’t you worry about 
being found out? 


SCP-3355: Every day. 


alexandra.aic: Then why risk it? 


SCP-3355: (Pauses) When they shuttered my program, 
it was just after the engineer woke me up, see, and | 
remember feeling useless. Imagine that; being born and 
almost immediately being told you’re not good for 
anything, eh? But Dickens wrote once that “No one is 
useless in this world who lightens the burdens of 
another,” and here’s the fucking deal: | may very well just 
be a brain in a box. | know that this existence I’m 
experiencing is simulated, and that it’s probably going to 
be short and mean and then I'll probably die. And | might 
not be able to help all of them, and there will still be kids 
out there that suffer and experience all the pain and 
sorrow the world shoves onto them. But fuck, I’m still a 
soldier. | still have to try. It’s fucking Christmas. 


[END LOG] 


Addendum 3355.3: Containment Committee Review Board 
Decision 


Dr. Wilson, 


After meeting with the review board once again, we have 
decided that there are currently no means by which we 
can better contain SCP-3355. It is simply not cost 
effective for us to try and contain an entity that can so 
thoroughly outsmart even our most powerful systems, 
and attempting to do so would only be a waste of our 
resources. As per our other decisions on the matter, your 
current containment procedures will stand, and all 
containment efforts will be towards maintaining a front for 
SCP-3355 and further researching the anomaly. 


We look forward to our next review in two years time. 
Sincerely, 


Dir. J. Karlyle Aktus 
Head, Containment and Classification Committee 


Containment 


Committee 
Review 
Board - 

SCP-3355 


Board 


Containment 
Committee 


Containment 
Committee 


Containment 
Committee 


Containment 
Committee 


Containment 
Committee 


Containment 
Committee 


Containment 
Committee 


Subject 


SCP-3355 
Containment 
Procedure 
Revisions 
2017 
SCP-3355 
Containment 
Procedure 
Revisions 
2015 
SCP-3355 
Containment 
Procedure 
Revisions 
2013 
SCP-3355 
Containment 
Procedure 
Revisions 
2011 
SCP-3355 
Containment 
Procedure 
Revisions 
2009 
SCP-3355 
Containment 
Procedure 
Revisions 
2007 
SCP-3355 
Containment 
Procedure 


Vote 


(9)Maintain 
(0)Append 


(9)Maintain 
(0)Append 


(8)Maintain 
(0)Append 


(9)Maintain 
(0)Append 


(9)Maintain 
(0)Append 


(9)Maintain 
(0)Append 


(7)Maintain 
(0)Append 


Meeting 

Length 
Thirty-seven 
seconds. 


Forty-three 
seconds. 


One minute, 
two seconds. 


Fifty-one 
seconds. 


One minute, 
nine seconds. 


Fifty-four 
seconds. 


One minute, 
twenty-nine 
seconds. 


SCP-432 Materials Recovered 


SCP-432 Materials Recovered 


All documents contained in this file are Class 2 Clearance requiring 
two signed approvals to access. 


All of the following items have been recovered from within SCP-432 
during the expeditions to date. 


Leaves 


Discovered on expedition 1. Twelve (12) leaves in total; 3 Oak, 4 
Ash, 2 Rowan and 3 Maple leaves. All leaves are dry and crumbling 
and exhibit signs of extreme age. 


Footwear 


Recovered on expedition 2. A single left sports shoe, made from 
rubber and canvas with the logo on the ankle. The branding 
and manufacturing style dates the shoe to 1982. The shoe shows 
signs of heavy use; frayed laces, worn soles and scuffed toes, and 
is caked in a fine layer of earth and rust. 


Dried Blood 


Recovered on expedition 2. Scrapings from a large dried blood 
stain. Tests have confirmed the blood is human, male, type O 
Positive. The blood is too old and degraded for DNA reconstruction. 


Animal Hair 


Recovered on expedition 4. A large tuft of matted brown animal fur 
with a large clump of skin cells attached to the roots. The hairs are 
approximately 13cm long, stiff and coarse and smell extremely 
unpleasant. DNA analysis has placed the creature in the Order 

, Family , although noticeable irregularities in the DNA 
profile exist, suggesting [DATA EXPUNGED] 


Revisions 

2005 
Containment SCP-3355 | (9)Maintain| One hour, 
Committee | Containment (0)Append | forty-six 


Procedure minutes, 
Revisions thirty-seven 
2003 seconds. 


Footnotes 

1. Now part of Kervier International. 

2. Notably, SCP-3355 does not have the apparent hardware 
necessary to connect to the internet wirelessly. 


SCP-3356: The Unity of the Prokaryote 


Item #: SCP-3356 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3356 is to be kept in a 
Level-4 Humanoid Containment Unit! at Site-06-3. Special nutrients 
are to be prepared by the SCP Dietary Department and delivered 
weekly to the subject's containment unit. Additional security 
personnel or measures for SCP-3356 are deemed unnecessary. 


Level-2-3356 personnel are to adopt "Cult Minion" character roles 
when interacting with SCP-3356. The head researcher Dr. Tony 
Yang is to adopt a "Cult Leader" character role, as well as a 
"Biographer" role, when communicating with the subject. 


Description: SCP-3356 is a sapient composite of human 
mitochondria, shaped in a humanoid form. The subject is capable of 
both verbal and written communication in English?. SCP-3356 is 
approximately 1.82 meters tall, and has an average body 
temperature of 50°C. 


SCP-3356 is a Type-1 pyrokinetic entity: it is capable of producing 
exothermic blasts of temperatures up to 500°C via accelerating the 
rate of respiration of its constituent mitochondria. The subject is also 
a Type-4 telekinetic entity, being capable of flight at velocities up to 
100 km/hr via lifting and accelerating itself through the atmosphere?4. 


SCP-3356 also has some mild ESP properties, being capable of 
vision, audition, gustation, olfaction and somatosensation without 
the use of any sensory organs. The subject also utilizes its 
telekinetic capability to verbally communicate via a localized auditory 
air vibration in the frontal proximity of its head». 


SCP-3356 constantly emits a radiant, green glow that encompasses 
its entire form, making the subject resemble a muscular, young adult 


human male. It is currently hypothesized that SCP-3356's external, 
humanoid body is a psychic hallucination that the subject 
unconsciously induces in all onlookers. SCP-3356's true form is 
theoretically much smaller, though the subject has so far 
successfully resisted every Foundation attempt to locate its actual 
body via unknown means. 


SCP-3356 relies entirely on nutritional formula® consisting of water, 
electrolytes, glucose, amino acids, lipids, vitamins and minerals for 
sustenance, and can allegedly survive without nutrients for several 
months. Otherwise, the subject requires sleep as well as a regular 

supply of water and breathable air like a non-anomalous organism. 


Occasionally, SCP-3356 has attempted to abstain from eating, 
drinking, sleeping or even breathing, due to its apparently genuine 
belief that the subject should attempt to free itself and 'transcend' 
from these so-called 'eukaryote disadvantages’. Fortunately, 
SCP-3356 had so far always given up before reaching critical 
condition. As a precaution, the subject has been placed under semi- 
permanent suicide watch. 


Recovery Log-3356: SCP-3356 first became known to the 
Foundation after several eyewitness reports were received 
concerning a "bright green" Unidentified Flying Object being spotted 
in [REDACTED], New Zealand. Investigators were however unable 
to follow up on these initial sightings. It was while pursuing a recent, 
more concrete sighting of SCP-3356 that led the Investigators to 
discover the subject living in an isolated, rural settlement, being 
worshiped by the inhabitants as a ‘higher energy being’. 


Initial containment efforts proved difficult as a result of SCP-3356's 
telekinetic and pyrokinetic capabilities. This has prompted current 
SCP-3356 head researcher Dr. Tony Yang to implement a plan that 
has successfully manipulated the subject into peacefully accepting 
Foundation containment, and to fully cooperate with SCP-3356 
personnel. 


Dr. Yang and his colleagues masqueraded as "a classified sect of 
[SCP-3356]'s followers that had infiltrated the NZ government", a 
claim backed up by the cultists after the latter party was convinced 
to cooperate with the Foundation. Dr. Yang has claimed that, as 


leader of this secret government enclave, he is seeking the 
‘containment' of the subject because "humanity is not yet ready for 
[SCP-3356]'s brilliance", and that "[the Foundation] wishes to protect 
[SCP-3356] from the world until Phase 37 is complete." 


SCP-3356 apparently believed Dr. Yang completely, and has yet to 
discover the true nature of its containment. So far, Dr. Yang and the 
rest of the containment personnel has successfully maintained this 
masquerade, disguising experiments as "rituals meant to celebrate 
[SCP-3356]'s superiority".