“Do | see a blinking red light? No. | see a red light that fades in and 
out. Not the same thing.” 


“So it is something?” 

“Undoubtedly.” 

“What do you think it is?” 

“Ever hear of an Anglerfish Tom?” 

“| have. You, you think that light is bait?” 


“The bait of a most horrific beastie, a thousand years old if it's a day! 
It's survived in the Darkness by luring in hapless prey with the only 
light they've seen in years, only to gobble them whole and leech 
them of their reality to sustain itself!” 


“What should we do?” 


“We fight it Tom. We wrestle it into submission, tame it, and then 
ride it through the Darkness to freedom!” 


“Yeah, I’m going to run away as fast as | can.” 
“So am I, but | was hoping you’d buy that so | could get a head start 
while it was eating you.” 
“Overture, curtains, lights! 
This is it, the night of nights! 
No more rehearsing, or nursing the part 
We know every card by heart! 
Overture, curtains, lights! 
This is it, we'll hit the heights! 
And oh what heights we'll hit! 


On with the show, this is it!” 


“That's the theme song from the Bugs Bunny show.” 


“...DAMMIT!” 


“Tom, would you please stop humming. I’m trying to think.” 
“’m not humming, | thought you were humming.” 


“But if you’re not... The Humdinger! We're close Tom! It’s a little 
more than a mile out! Can you see it?” 


“Yes, | see it! | can actually see something! It’s like a sunrise!” 


“Quickly Tom! Towards the light! Towards the sound! Towards 
freedom!” 


“It’s getting louder!” 

“Not just louder, but realer! Feel the waves crash over you!” 
“| feel real again! Solid! It’s so bright!” 

“That’s the Light of Reality Tom! We’re getting out!” 


“We're free!” 


With a sudden flash, Tom Brenneman and Herman Fuller escaped 
from the Darkness between Dimensions and back into their native 
multiverse. Tom was missing some random chunks of flesh, 
whereas Herman had used what reality bending he possessed to 
sacrifice himself in a more controlled manner and was thus almost a 
full foot shorter than he had been before. 


Though they were hardly unscathed, they were alive and free, and 
were overwhelmed with joy...until they realized they had been 
deposited smack in the middle of the City of Adytum, surrounded by 
Karcists and Kiraaks so horrifically transmogrified few would 
recognize them as human. All was shrouded by a sickly yellow mist, 


but they could see enough to gather that they had interrupted some 
sacrosanct ceremony, and that their Sarkic hosts were as baffled as 
they were livid. 


“Tom, if | didn’t know better I’d swear that someone up there has it 
out for me.” 


« Upside-Down Cake | Dread & Circuses Hub | Former Assets » 


Former Assets 


« A Real Humdinger | Dread & Circuses Hub | Fuller Than Full! » 
“You're not afraid of clowns, are you?” 


When Victor had been interviewed for a sales rep with MC&D, they 
had asked him a lot of unusual questions, but for some reason that 
one had always stuck out as the most non-sequitur. Now he was 
wondering if they wouldn’t have hired him if he had said yes, or just 
not have sent him here. 


As he looked upon the numerous striped tents of Herman Fuller's 
Circus of the Disquieting, he tried to figure out exactly what it was 
that was making him so uneasy. Upon casual inspection, nothing 
was out of the ordinary. The glances he managed to steal of the 
freaks or the clowns or the attractions as the Circus was set up were 
never enough for him to explicitly identify anything wrong, but yet he 
couldn’t shake the feeling that they were all deeply abhorrent 
somehow. 


Maybe it was just the pitch black cotton candy. Everyone knows 
cotton candy is supposed to be bright pink, baby blue, or maybe 
snow white on occasion, but never pitch black. Especially not such a 
deep, abyssal pitch black that looked like darkness incarnate ona 
stick. And why was the calliope playing when they weren't open to 
customers yet? Something about a calliope being played just for the 
sake of it seemed so unwholesome. 


“You Victor?” 


Victor turned his head at the mention of his name. A few yards away 
from him was a large, muscular man with a moustache, bowler hat 
and of course... 


My God, how is that even possible? Does his throat pass through 
his brain? 


“Yes, | am indeed. Victor Chan, from Marshall, Carter, & Dark’s 
Hong Kong Office,” he greeted, masking his horror at the man’s 
disfigurement as best he could. He did not wish to offend him as 
Victor was himself a fairly small and slight man, and was painfully 
aware that his five-figure Italian suit only signified softness in this 
place. “I spoke with a Mr. Gorham over the phone and he said | was 
to meet with a gentleman by the name of Manny. Am | correct in 
assuming that you are him?” 


“Never been mistaken for someone else yet,” the Man with the 
Upside-Down Face replied dryly. “What’s this about Emcee D? You 
got something to sell me, you want another private show?” 


“Il actually have a proposition | would like to discuss with you 
regarding some of your former assets that are currently being held 
by the SCP Foundation,” Victor replied. Manny groaned and 
muttered something under his breath. It might have been ‘Icky’. “I 
apologize if I’ve said anything to upset you, but | was led to believe 
you may have an interest in reobtaining some of these assets.” 


“You, ah, you’re going to want to talk to our Ringmaster Veronica. | 
run back-of-house around here. She runs front-of-house. | have a 
feeling she’s the one behind this,” he grumbled. “Follow me, we'll 
see if she’s in her tent.” 


“Thank you, sir.” 


Victor stuck as closely behind Manny as he could, not wanting to get 
lost in the candy coloured labyrinth. As they moved further into the 
Circus the sickly sweet scent of cotton candy became so 
overwhelming Victor needed to cover his nose and mouth with a 
neckerchief. Amidst the unceasing drone of conversation that 
surrounded them, Victor swore that some of the voices he heard 
didn't sound Human. Though he had yet to see any animals, he 
could hear their various calls ringing through the air. Some didn't 
sound like any creature he was familiar with, and all of them either 
sounded monstrously vicious or pitifully forlorn. The calliope was still 
the worst of all. The music felt almost invasive, insidious somehow, 
as though it was trying to lull him into letting his guard down so that 
it could do with him as it pleased. 


As he surveyed his strange surroundings, he noticed Herman 
Fuller's name over and over again, over every tent, booth, kiosk and 
caravan. This struck him as curious as Manny had said the 
Ringmaster was a woman. 


If Victor was in a more mundane line of work he would have simply 
assumed that Herman was the late founder of the Circus, but if 
Herman was anything like his own employers it seemed unlikely that 
he was dead. 


"Will Mr. Fuller need to sign off on any deal we might come to?" he 
coughed through his neckerchief, deciding it would be best to do his 
due diligence. The mere mention of the name caused a cold glower 
to spread across Manny's inverted face. 


"No." 
Victor didn't dare to press the issue any further. 


Manny led him into a red and gold striped tent, where he saw two 
Clowns. One was hideously deformed, a lanky giant with an 
elongated face, ashen grey skin, and long pointed nose. His eyeless 
sockets were inky black, as were his oversized lips. The thing smiled 
at him, revealing a perfect set of dazzling white teeth. 


The other Clown was bouncing on a miniature trampoline and 
laughing uncontrollably. She looked to be a young woman, though 
her smooth white face made it impossible to tell for sure. She was 
dressed in mismatched striped stockings and a frilly purple dress, 
and her auburn hair was held up in twin pigtails that had been curled 
like ribbons. She was adorned with a red Glasgow smile, a red nose, 
and sharp red lines through her eyes. Victor wondered if maybe she 
was just an ordinary human in makeup. 


“Lolly!” Manny shouted to get her attention. She somersaulted 
through the air and landed in her black platform shoes. 


“Ta da!” she exclaimed proudly, beaming a smile. He could see now 
that she had the same perfect, impossibly white teeth as the other. 


She was one of them. 


“Where’s Veronica?” Manny asked. 


“In the Menagerie of Mayhem. The Pink Elephant got into the 
grownup juice and now it’s having hallucinations about people,” the 
Clown snickered. 


“I'll go get her. Lolly, would you be so kind as to entertain our guest 
until we get back?” 


“Of course!” she said excitedly, rushing up to shake his hand. “Hi! 
My name’s Lollipop, but you can call me Lolly. Are you running away 
to join the Circus?” 


“No Lolly, he’s just here on business. His name’s Victor, and he’s a 
salesman with Emcee D.” 


“That sounds like a boring job. You should run away to join the 
Circus. We have so much fun here, and | never even get in trouble 
because I’m Icky’s favourite.” She stuck her tongue out tauntingly at 
Manny. 


“Don't worry kid, I'll be back before you know it,” Manny told Victor, 
giving him a sympathetic pat on the pack. “And don’t mind the big 
guy. He’s just her babysitter.” 


“I’m not allowed to be unsupervised,” she smiled mischievously. 
Manny left the tent, leaving Victor alone with the two Clowns. “Why 
do you look so scared? Honestly, Mr. Noodles would never hurt 
anyone. | know we Clowns can look a little strange, but that doesn’t 
mean we’re monsters.” 


“No, of course not, | just...I’m just nervous. I’m a little out of my 
element,” Victor said, forcing an uncomfortable laugh. “I don’t 
usually do, ah...field work? If that’s what you call this.” 


“Why don’t you sit down, relax?” Lolly offered, and led him to a large 
wooden desk on the west side of the tent. She opened a mini bar 
and pulled out what looked like a traditional milk bottle filled with 
some viscous black liquid. She sat down beside him and popped off 
the cap. “Sorry, | just need a fix before we go any further.” 


She took a swig from the bottle, and a spasm threw her back against 


the chair. She cried out in apparent ecstasy and was left breathing 
heavily as she tried to regain her composure. 


“Are you alright?” Victor asked. 


“Oh yeah. I’m impossibly happy, literally. When Humdrums drink this 
stuff their serosomething levels get so high they have a heart 
attack.” 


She smiled at him, her teeth dripping black with the strange liquid. 
“I'd find that sad if | could stay away from this stuff long enough to 
feel anything but bliss. You could still have some cotton candy 
though. | bet you’ve never gotten high off calliope music before, 
have you?” 


“I’m afraid I'll have to pass. | am here on business, after all,” he 
declined as politely as he could. Just the smell of the cotton candy 
was making his teeth hurt. 


Lolly took a more modest sip from the bottle, then passed it to Mr. 
Noodles. 


“Have you ever been to our Circus before?” she asked. Victor just 
shook his head. “I could give you a tour if you want after your 
meeting. This place, it’s just, it’s magic. It’s really magic! The people, 
the rides, the games, the prizes, even the food is magic! It's a 
sanctuary of magic in a shittingly mundane world. When | first saw 
this place | knew | could never go back to the real world, and | never 
did.” 


“Go back? You mean you weren't always...asS you are now?” 


“Uh-uh,” she shook her head. “When | was a little girl | was perfectly 
ordinary. My mom was a cunt and | had a miserable childhood, so 
when the Circus came to town | took all the money from her purse 
and had the best day of my life! That was the day | met Icky. She 
saved me, like she’s saved a bunch of kids, but | was special; 
maybe because | came to her. She was so beautiful and powerful 
and wonderful and amazing | couldn’t help but love her. Wait til you 
see her, you'll love her too. She’s a magician you know; a real 
magician with real magic, and I’m her lovely and beloved assistant.” 


“When you...” 
“And her playmate,” she added with a naughty smile. 


“When you say that she rescued you, you mean she made you 
perform for the Circus?” 


“Not just perform, but she turned me into a Clown! Mr. Noodles here 
was born a Clown, but | got turned, which is why I’m not as special 
looking as some of the other Clowns. Icky thinks I’m pretty though. | 
was so worried that she wouldn't let me stay because | wasn't 
special like everyone else here, but she asked me if | liked Clowns 
and | said that | loved Clowns because, duh, everyone loves Clowns 
and she said | could be a Clown! Oh, do you like candy?" 


"Il, yes?" 


"Well, we Clowns need so much sugar that our diet is basically all 
candy. That's why we get these special chompers so that our teeth 
don't rot out on us. | never even brush my teeth. | hated the dentist 
when | was little, and thanks to Icky | never have to go to one again! 
Doesn't that make you want to be a Clown?" 


"|...don't mind dentists too terribly, actually. At least, not compared 
to some things," he replied. "Ms. Lollipop..." 


"Lolly," she insisted. 


"Alright, Lolly, am | understanding you correctly when you say you 
were a runaway child that Icky subjected to anomalous modifications 
for the sake of becoming a circus act?" he asked, failing to 
completely mask the horror in his voice. 


".,.and | get to eat all the candy | want," she said through her eerily 
serene smile. "Honestly, it was the best thing that ever happened to 
me. | love performing. Every time I'm in that ring | get to delight and 
amaze hundreds of people. | get to show them that there really is 
such a thing as magic, which is the most uplifting thing anyone could 
ever do for anyone. You couldn't make me give that up. Icky 
rescued me from a horrifically mundane life, and I'll always love her 
for that." 


SCP-624: "Personal" Music Player 


Item #: SCP-624 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-624 is to be stored in Site 
16's safe storage room and charged frequently by testing personnel. 
Testing is open to all Site 16 personnel with proper clearance. 
Personal access to SCP-624 is otherwise restricted. SCP-624 is not 
to be taken off of Site 16 unless in the event of an emergency. 


SCP-624 must be listened to through regular headphones before 
being played on regular speakers. SCP-624 is not to be played at 
Site 16’s social functions for entertainment due to containment 
protocol and possible risk of humiliation of Site 16 personnel. 


Audio created by SCP-624 is not to be sold commercially, nor 
shared through filesharing networks. 


Addendum 624-1: Personnel who do not listen to music, do not like 
music, or have zero musical influences are not allowed to test 
SCP-624. See Test Log 624-1. 


Description: SCP-624 is a Sandisk Sansa e200R Mp3 player and 
voice recorder. The back of the player says SCP-624 contains two 
(2) gigabytes of memory. Although the original owner’s manual 
claims there are pre-loaded sample songs, there are no files stored 
within its memory when played on normal speakers. Uploading 
music to SCP-624 seems to be impossible, as every program 
tested, including iTunes, Rhapsody, and Yahoo! Music, have all 
returned with encoding errors. 


When powering up SCP-624 through headphones, a tone will play, 
and this tone will be picked up through SCP-624’s microphone. If 
SCP-624 does not detect the tone, it will shut down as if it were 
locked. If SCP-624 hears the tone from normal speakers, SCP-624 


“And she’s rescued others, as well?” 


“Well she makes us feel like family, but Manny’s usually the one who 
brings ‘em in. Every few months or so it seems. They’re not safe out 
there, Freaks in a world of Humdrums, so we bring them here where 
they’re safe and loved and get to be Circus stars!”