Item Description: A tiara constructed from living specimens of 
mushroom and other non-invasive fungus. Placing the tiara ona 
human subject's head causes the subject to become gyroscopically 
stabilized from the waist up. No matter the effort, the subject will 
become unable to move their body from the waist up out of a 
perfectly vertical position. 

Date of Recovery: - -1919 

Location of Recovery: Copenhagen, Denmark 

Current Status: In storage. 


Item Description: A traditional Brazilian berimbau of typical 
construction and materials. When held by a human subject, and the 
stick is raised to strike the string, the subject immediately displays 
an instinctive knowledge of how to play basic traditional rhythms. 
Further exposure does not seem to result in further knowledge gain, 
but the resultant basic knowledge remains with the subject after 
exposure. 

Date of Recovery: - -20 

Location of Recovery: Salto, Brazil 

Current Status: In storage. 

Note: Until it is determined conclusively that the item has no 
cognitohazardous capabilities, handling and testing is restricted to 
D-Class subjects. 


Item Description: A 129-character string. Entering it on the 
password field of an online service will allow log-in no matter what 
the original password was; only known exception is the word 
"password". 

Date of Recovery: - -201 

Location of Recovery: Lagos, Nigeria 

Current Status: Archived. Research on encryption and network 
structures resistant to effect underway. 


Item Description: A blue stress ball. When squeezed, holder 
becomes infuriated, and when thrown, will bounce back and hit the 
thrower's head. 

Date of Recovery: - -19 

Location of Recovery: — Psychiatrics, 

Current Status: In storage. 


Item Description: A standard brand deck of cards that, when 
used to play any card game, appear ‘backwards’, showing all other 
players the card's face, while only showing the card's holder the 
back of said card. 

Date of Recovery: - -20 

Location of Recovery: , Nevada, United States. 

Current Status: In storage at Site Recreation Lounge. 


Item Description: A credit card of an unknown black material. 
Purchases made with the card via magnetic stripe readers are 
retroactively debited from Banco de Mexico's account number 

. , in October of 1993. 
Date of Recovery: - -20 
Location of Recovery: Secret chamber in the Great Pyramid of 
Giza, Cairo, Egypt 
Current Status: In storage. 


Item Description: A red 1994 Toyota Camry whose radio could only 
play Men Without Hats' "Safety Dance" regardless of station, 
whether a cassette tape had been inserted, and even after the radio 
itself had been replaced 3 times. 

Date of Recovery: - -200 

Location of Recovery: Atlanta, Georgia 

Current Status: Crushed and melted down during an unusual 
containment breach. Residual slag showed no anomalous 
properties. 


Item Description: A high-tech typewriter that produces a 
cognitohazardous effect on every person trying to formulate a 
description for said object. Despite being a typewriter, it is always 
described as a typewriter, with various properties, containment 
places and such replaced with analogous typewriter-related 
properties. However, the verb "to shoot" and its cognates are not 
affected. Attempts to photograph the object are hindered by mental 


influence, and any attempts to draw or paint the object result in a 
drawing of a typewriter. 

Date of Recovery: - - 

Location of Recovery: An abandoned printing device research 
base that belonged to a defunct group of interest called 
[REDACTED]. 

Current Status: In storage in Site printing devices room. An effort 
to produce copies of the typewriter is underway. 

Notes: This typewriter is great! Easy to shoot, very accurate, good 
shooting distance, lightweight, supports different key sets and has a 
60 cartridge tray. The typing mechanism is detachable, .45ACP and 
5.56 versions are available. Most likely, the anomalous effect was 
developed in order to hinder intelligence efforts. - Agent Cora. 


Item Description: A wooden toy rifle designed to shoot rubber 
bands using a gear. Rubber bands accelerate to 1/540 the speed of 
light upon leaving the barrel of the rifle. 

Date of Recovery: 10-15-2010 

Location of Recovery: Mount Vernon, Virginia 

Current Status: In anomalous weapons containment. 


Item Description: A computer that cannot connect to any network 
when networking is enabled, but can attain a connection to the 
internet of exactly 161.24 kops anywhere, regardless of the speed of 
light and other physical limitations. 

Date of Recovery: - -2011 

Location of Recovery: , Portugal 

Current Status: Currently used to maintain communications with 


Item Description: A glass statue of a non-Euclidian structure. Glass 
fragments of a statue, originally composing a non-Euclidian 
structure. 

Date of Recovery: - -2013 

Location of Recovery: , 

Current Status: In storage 

Notes: It was broken when | found it. - Agent Green 


Item Description: A drawing of a dog that, when viewed by an 
illiterate individual, teaches them how to read and write Latvian. 
Date of Recovery: - - 


Location of Recovery: ; 
Current Status: In Level 1 Document Storage at Site- . 


Item Description: A Christmas tree that is impossible to 
disassemble 

Date of Recovery: 25-12-2013 

Location of Recovery: Original location unknown, secondary 
location is near the entrance tunnel to Site-14. 

Current Status: In Site-14 break room as a decoration for 
Christmas. 


Item Description: One coaster. When placed on any horizontal 
surface, it leaves a circular water stain 6.3 cm in diameter. Stains 
left by this object have proven to be extremely difficult to remove. 
Date of Recovery: 09-18-1995 

Location of Recovery: Brewery, Gatlinburg, TN 
Current Status: Accidentally destroyed under unknown 
circumstances. 


Item Description: A Mark XIX (19) Israel Military Industries Desert 
Eagle on 50. Action Express with Picatinny rail. When held, it 
displays an ammo counter in the bottom right corner of the wielder's 
peripheral vision, and, when fired, displays a point value based on 
the target hit, in base 5 numeration. 

Date of Recovery - - 

Location of Recovery: , Florida, U.S.A. 

Current Status: Stored in Site-19 Low value storage unit. 

Notes: It sounds cool, but the ammo counter is hard to focus on, 
which distracts you when you're trying to fire it, and it's nearly 
useless since you can barely make out the numbers. The scoring 
system has to be worked out on paper, and there's no easy way of 
recording the numbers when you have to decode your score every 
time you shoot. Keep this thing far away from the usable weapons. - 
Agent Harrelson 


Item Description: A pack of brand chewing gum containing six 
(6) pieces of chewed gum. When chewed, they will revert to 'un- 
chewed' form. Re-chewed pieces do not possess this property. 
Date of Recovery: - - 

Location of Recovery: , Canada 

Current Status: In storage in Site- . 


Notes: How did we figure out it did that? - Dr. 


Item Description: A tambourine that, when shaken, produces the 
sounds of a guitar. Staff claim to greatly enjoy it. 

Date of Recovery: - - 

Location of Recovery: , England 

Current Status: Held in the Site-19 break room. 


Item Description: A pair of baby blue boxing gloves. If the boxing 
gloves are used to punch an infant in the jaw, the new-born will grow 
all of its adult teeth within the following 24 hours. 

Date of Recovery: 08-10-20 

Location Recovery: Glasgow, Scotland 

Current Status: Stored in Site-17 containment locker. 


Item Description: A Roman mosaic assembled in the 4th century 
CE depicting a creature resembling a Stegosaurus. Outside its 
anachronism, it is not otherwise anomalous. 

Date of Recovery: - - 

Location of Recovery: Villa Romana del Casale, Sicily, Italy. 
Current Status: In display at Site-77's Historical Anomalies Wing. 


Item Description: A wooden pan flute. When played, an 
unidentified male voice will tell music-related puns in the player's 
first language. 

Date of Recovery: - -1991 

Location of Recovery: Music Shop, Salonica, Greece. 
Current Status: In storage. 


Item Description: A red brand automobile. The automobile is 
reported to leave a trail of flames in areas it passes. It is also able to 
speed upto _ kilometers per hour. 

Date of Recovery: - - 

Location of Recovery: family's garage 

Current Status: Last seen driven by Dr. Gerald. Presumed 
destroyed. 


Item Description: A black top hat. When worn, any sounds made 
by the person wearing it is replaced by an unidentified male voice 
saying an onomatopoeic word based on the sound (for instance, the 
sound of sneezing will be replaced by the word "sneeze"). 


Date of Recovery: - - 
Location of Recovery: ; 
Current Status: In storage. 


Item Description: A tin can labelled "WORMS" in white paint. 
Opening the lid reveals another lid directly underneath. Analysis has 
resulted in the conclusion that there may be a theoretically infinite 
sequence of lids. 

Date of Recovery: - - 

Location of Recovery: , West Virginia 

Current Status: In anomalous item containment locker. 


Item Description: A carton of -brand cigarettes. Upon 
smoking, subjects can only communicate through operatic vocals, 
with an effect lasting from 8 to 15 minutes. 

Date of Recovery: - -2004 

Location of Recovery: Phoenix, Arizona 

Current Status: A number were consumed a month after recovery 
by the Site-22 staff. Remainder in storage. 

Notes: These were a lot of fun. Someone should put them in the 
break room vending machines if the Foundation comes across a 
reliable source. - Agent 


Item Description: A red 2011 Alfa Romeo 159. Upon sitting in the 
driver's seat, the driver spontaneously forgets how to use a stick- 
shift transmission. They regain this knowledge upon stepping out of 
the car. (It should also be noted that this car has a stick-shift 
transmission.) 

Date of Recovery: - -20 

Location of Recovery: , Poland 

Current Status: In storage; awaiting repairs due to a burnt-out 
clutch. 


Item Description: A black-and-white picture of a flock of sheep that 
causes any human within a five (5)-meter radius to feel as if they are 
being watched. 

Date of Recovery: - - 

Location of Recovery: 

Current Status: In storage. 


Item Description: A Triumph Adler TA-1600 brand computer. When 


activated all peripherals are turned into aged Abbaye de Belloc 
cheese. 

Date of Recovery: 11- -2012 

Location of Recovery: Algonquin College, Canada 

Current Status: Stored in Site- break room. 

Notice: | shouldn't have to say this, but since it keeps happening: 
staff are advised not to connect peripherals to the computer unless 
they intend to turn said peripherals into cheese. - Supervisor White 


Item Description: A finger painting of a 7 centimeter square inside 
of a 3 centimeter circle. 

Date of Recovery: 12-02-20 

Location of Recovery: Christian Addler Elementary School 
Current Status: Undergoing testing 

Note: | know the ruler doesn't lie, but my brain just doesn't want to 
believe it. Guess we're doing something right. - Agent Morris 


Item Description: A severed saltwater crocodile (Crocodylus 
porosus) head, which doesn't experience decomposition or 
corrosion. When touched or handled physically, the head animates 
and bites its handler, then returns to its inactive state. Object also 
regenerates almost instantaneously when damaged. 

Date of Recovery: - -2014 

Location of Recovery: Las Vegas, Nevada 

Current Status: In frozen storage. 


Item Description: A blue M&M's candy, which, when set on a flat 
surface, begins to spin, accelerating in speed until it reaches a rate 
of approximately 65 rev/s, at which point it instantly freezes in place 
until picked up and set back down. 

Date of Recovery: 02-24-2014 

Location of Recovery: Cedar Springs, Colorado, USA 

Current Status: Consumed by Dr. 


Item Description: A newly opened, 14-ounce glass bottle of 

brand ketchup. Contents of bottle deemed impossible to extract, 
despite vigorous smacking and shaking. 

Date of Recovery: 04-15-20 

Location of Recovery: San Juan, Mexico 

Current Status: Shattered during an unauthorized extraction 
attempt in Site-22 cafeteria. Despite severe fragmentation, contents 


use of SCP-896. Dr. decided to have a “game-a-thon” over 
Thanksgiving weekend in 20 , in which he played SCP-896 for an 
estimated hours straight before he expired. Autopsies revealed 
evidence of severe arthritis, early onset Alzheimer’s, cataract, and 
development of several tumors. The medical examiner could only 
conclude that Dr. _ had died of old age. Further use of SCP-896 by 
Foundation personnel has been suspended until the direct 
correlation between the aging effects brought on by leveling is 
understood. 


« SCP-895 | SCP-896 | SCP-897 » 


remained irretrievable from bottle. Broken shards and remains 
moved to standard storage locker at Site-59. 


Item Description: A glass mirror that reflects images across its 
surface approximately 3.86 seconds more slowly than conventional 
mirrors, resulting in a significant ‘lag’ in the observed reflection. 
Date of Recovery: - - 

Location of Recovery: , Ukraine 

Current Status: Undergoing testing at Site-73. Studies indicate that 
there is no observable change in the rate at which photons are 
reflected by the mirror. 


Item Description: A toy rocket made out of an unknown polymer 
which can exceed speeds needed to escape the earth's gravity. It 
caught the interest of the Foundation and was tested. 

Date of Recovery: - - 

Location of Recovery: / Border 

Current Status: Currently located in the thermosphere in Earth's 
Orbit. 


Item Description: Bootleg VHS copy of Swedish movie " of 
"(19 ). All characters change gender and ethnicity randomly 

on each viewing. 

Date of Recovery: - - 

Location of Recovery: , Guam 

Current Status: Site-19 break room. Currently in storage. 

Notes: Bad acting, boring plot. 


Item Description: A small brand FM radio, estimated to be 
years old. When powered and set to any frequency, the radio will 
play a random song popular among teenagers during the activator's 
pubescent years. This song will always involve romantic relations 
and is described as remarkably apposite to the activator's current 
relationship status in 95% of cases. When activated by somebody 
not in a romantic relationship, the radio will play an inexpertly 
recorded cover of Harry Nilsson single "One," sung dramatically off- 
key by an unidentified pubescent male accompanied by a series of 
atonal electric piano notes. 

Date of Recovery: - -1986 

Location of Recovery: High School, , Illinois 

Current Status: Lost following testing by Researcher 


Item Description: Abag of - brand marshmallows. When a 
marshmallow is consumed by an individual, their head becomes 
engulfed in blue flames. Subjects always report a lack of noticeable 
change in spite of heat readings exceeding 100°C. 

Date of Recovery: - -2014 

Location of Recovery: , scotland 

Current Status: Remaining samples were placed in storage. 


Item Description: A pair of ravens (Corvus corax) who will sing the 
folk song known as twa corbies on some but not all occasions when 
someone dies within an approximately one kilometre radius. 

Date of Recovery: 06-27-1989 

Location of Recovery: , British Isles 

Current Status: Held in a standard aviary. 


Item Description: One pair of | brand headphones that can only 
be described as the opposite of what they are. 

Date of Recovery: - -20 

Location of Recovery: _, Canada 

Current Status: In storage at Site- . 

Notes: Don't think into it too much. - Dr.