The First Experiment: It is put in water. 
Result: Wet. 


The Second Experiment: It is put in the cold 
room. 
Result: Cold. 


The Third Experiment: It is put in the warm 
room. 
Result: Warm. 


The Fourth Experiment: It is asked 
questions. 
Result: Silent. 


The Fifth Experiment: It is cut apart with 
sharp things. 
Result: Doesn't work. 
Recovered Document 1312-3: 
Item #: SCP 


Object Class: Keter Neutralized 


Special Containment Procedures: Do not 
listen to it. It does nothing but lie. Keep it in the 


room. Feed it D-Class. Do not listen to what it 
tells you. If it tries to get out, hit it. After you hit 
it, put it back in the room. Any personnel who 

says it is not a liar are lying. Do not trust them. 


Description: It is like a man but pink, and with 
tough material on it. It can talk, but all it does is 
lie. It insults personnel who go near it. 
Sometimes it screams. 

It says it is an agent of the SCP Foundation. 
This is a lie and it is a liar. It had a metal item 
with it. It kills a D-Class when it is pointed at 
them and the trigger is pulled. There is a thing 
in the D-Class's head after that. When it isn't 
pointed at the head they take longer to die. 


It had another metal item. Voices come from 
the item and ask if Agent Banks is there. We 
ask if it is an SCP, and the voices stop talking. 
It has been designated as SCP because of 
this. Now it is contained. 


The First Experiment: It is put in water. 
Result: Splash. 


The Second Experiment: It is put in the cold 
room. 
Result: Shivers. 


The Third Experiment: It is put in the warm 
room. 
Result: Warm. 


The Fourth Experiment: It is asked 
questions. 
Result: Lies. 


The Fifth Experiment: It is cut apart with 
sharp things. 
Result: Wet. 


Footnotes 

1. Information regarding these humanoid entities was gleaned 
through a rover which was placed in SCP-1312-1. The rover 
recorded the capturing process and subsequent behavior of the 
entities. 

2. This name had been scratched out of the paper by what is 
presumed to be a fingernail or other sharp implement. 


« SCP-1311 | SCP-1312 | SCP-1313 » 


SCP-1313: Solve for Bear 


Item #: SCP-1313 
Anomaly Class: Keter 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1313 is not currently 
contained. As a way of limiting the impact of the anomaly, 
Foundation staff are to monitor all educational institutes for high 
rates of bear attacks, and dispatch MTF Delta-10 ("Answer Key") to 
the sites of incidents as soon as possible. Amnestics are to be 
administered to any civilians with knowledge of SCP-1313. 


While copies of SCP-1313 are available from the Foundation 
archives, under no circumstances are any Foundation personnel to 
have complete knowledge of the problem. Any staff found solving 
SCP-1313 are to be reprimanded (and if the situation warrants, 
terminated) immediately following the bear's capture. Excess bears 
are to be either released into the wild or used as food/test subjects 
for suitable anomalies. 


Description: SCP-1313 is an anomalous series of logical 
processes, capable of being defined as a mathematical equation to 
which the answer is a single female specimen of Ursus arctos. The 
equation itself does not appear to be inherently anomalous, but 
rather a quirk of mathematics — rather than producing any number 
in RIA (the set of all real numbers that are not animals), SCP-1313 
resolves to produce a tangible, adult, and frequently enraged grizzly 
bear. The resolution does not have to be physically represented, 
and simply considering the problem long enough to arrive at the 
solution has resulted in a bear's manifestation in or around the 
subject solving it. 


SCP-1313 does not require any particular mathematical ability to 
comprehend, beyond a basic understanding of elementary algebra, 
but all steps of the sequence must be completed in order to reach 
the correct answer. Skipping parts of the process or attempting to 


start midway through will not result in any anomalous effects, and 
will likely produce a purely mundane result. 


Currently, examination of partial components of SCP-1313 has 
revealed the following information about the anomaly: 


¢ That SCP-1313 itself conforms to all axioms used in current 
number theory (although at times has proven to be remarkably 
stubborn). 
¢ That bears cannot be returned to numerical form simply by 
solving the equation's inverse, pending the invention of a 
method of applying mathematical operations to physical 
objects. 
That SCP-1313 can be used as an element of other equations 
to produce semi-anomalous results. For example, VSCP-1313 
resolves to the square root of a live grizzly bear — likewise, 
SCP-13132 is the product of two live grizzly bears multiplied 
together. It is not recommended that such ‘derivative’ 
equations be solved, as the creatures produced are usually 
poorly integrated into our reality, and invariably extremely 
hostile during their brief periods of existence’. 
That grizzly bears exist within the set of all real numbers, and 
are not prime. The square root of a grizzly bear is prime, 
however, and is the only prime number that a) is not a cardinal 
number, b) is neither even nor odd, and c) contains an animal 
component. The implications that the root of a bear is an 
integer, and therefore that bears themselves exist on an 
ordinary number-line, are currently being investigated by Prof. 
Hutchinson. 


SCP-1313 first came to the Foundation's attention in 1967, when a 
bear attack was reported at Whitecross High School, Hereford, 
England. 1724 separate incidents of bear attacks in educational 
institutes have been observed since, with an estimated 1600 
fatalities and 900 further non-fatal injuries. Of the 1724 bears and 
mathematical bear-composites generated, at least 20% are still at 
large. 


Notice: If during the reading of this document you have pondered 
the nature of SCP-1313 to such a degree that you feel you have 
have independently formulated a portion of its structure, you are 


advised to make your way to your Site's nearest Amnestic 
Distribution Station, and then (following administration) to Animal 
Control. Failure to do so may result in disciplinary action and/or 
bear-related injury. 


Footnotes 

1. Research into the possible military applications of irrational, 
exponential, and imaginary grizzly bears is currently being 
undertaken by a joint team from the Foundation's mathematical and 
zoological departments. 


SCP-1314: Memetic Universe 


Item #: SCP-1314 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: The original copy of SCP-1314- 
B is to be stored in a clearly marked A4 Manilla envelope kept in Dr. 

’s office. Digital copies of SCP-1314-A and SCP-1314-B are to 
be stored on the standard Isolated Electronic Repositories at 
Site-15, Site- , Site-33, and Research Sector-15. Digital copies of 
SCP-1314-B are not to be stored on Foundation intranet. Every 6 
months, the original SCP-1314-B is to be digitally scanned at the 
highest resolution available and returned to storage. Any physical 
copies of SCP-1314-B are to be incinerated after testing. Any 
personnel testing SCP-1314 should carry one (1) dose of a Class-A 
amnestic for emergency use. 


Description: SCP-1314-A is asetof mathematical equations 
describing physical behaviours in a simulated universe, the initial 
conditions of which are stored in SCP-1314-B. When read by a 
sapient organism, SCP-1314-A causes a memetic effect dependent 
on the logical and spacial-temporal reasoning skills of the exposed 
subject. If the subject has a Spacial-Temporal Reasoning Index 
(SRI) of above 82 and a Logical Reasoning Index (LRI) of above 93, 
they are implanted with a desire to search for a copy of SCP-1314- 
B, similar to the effect of standard memetic obsession agents. This 
effect is reduced after separation from SCP-1314-A and decays 
entirely after approximately 8 hours without exposure. If the subject 
does not meet these conditions, they will repeatedly review 
SCP-1314-A, with the effect of raising their SRI by 0.3 and LRI by 
0.1 for each minute of exposure until reaching 82 and 93 
respectively. This effect has not been observed to decay and is 
considered permanent. 


SCP-1314-B is a string of hexadecimal digits interspersed with 
memetic triggers. On exposure, SCP-1314-B causes a memetic 


effect dependent on the last point in time that the subject was 
exposed to SCP-1314-A. If the time since exposure is over 8 hours, 
the subject is implanted with the desire to locate a copy of 
SCP-1314-A, which again decays over the course of 8 hours. If they 
have been exposed to SCP-1314-A more recently than this, then the 
subject enters a state of deep concentration for minutes, during 
which they decrypt the information stored in SCP-1314-B. The 
instructions for decryption of SCP-1314-B are stored in the 
embedded memetic triggers. Exposure to SCP-1314-A after 
exposure to SCP-1314-B has no additional effect; the documents 
must be viewed in the correct order to result in the anomalous 
phenomenon. 


After sequential exposure to SCP-1314-A and SCP-1314-B, 
subjects report obsession with mentally simulating the universe 
described by SCP-1314. This obsession does not render them 
incapable of performing normal tasks if necessary, but has been 
reported as extremely distracting, and they will favour sitting and 
thinking over all other tasks. The simulated universe is three- 
dimensional and operates under discrete time and spacial 
dimensions. Light and air do not exist in this universe. Heat transfer 
is simulated via a modified version of caloric theory, while gravity 
and collisions are simulated according to Newtonian physics. 
Objects within this universe are either spheres or polyhedrons, 
where spheres are approximately 3 orders of magnitude larger than 
polyhedrons. Whenever a polyhedron is heated above 316 
temperature units, it splits into two smaller polyhedrons with 
temperature 158 temperature units. Soheres do not possess upper 
temperature limits. This behaviour results in the simulation 
drastically increasing in computational complexity after 29,000 time 
units, when a sphere with temperature in excess of 9,200,000 
temperature units collides with an asteroid belt of polyhedrons in 
orbit around another sphere. This causes an exponential duplication 
of polyhedrons. 


When the impact event occurs, the subject will show distress, as 
they need to mentally keep track of hundreds of thousands of 
objects simultaneously. After this point, subjects begin overwriting 
their previous memories to keep track of the objects. Once this 
space is expended, the effect spreads into more critical parts of the 


brain. No subject has remained capable of speech after 30,300 time 
units. Eventually, the subject will overwrite their involuntary muscle 
control, resulting in death by either asphyxiation or cardiac arrest. 


At any point in exposure, administering a Class-A amnestic will wipe 
the simulation from the user's mind, usually facilitating a full 
recovery. However, memories that are overwritten by the effect of 
later stages of SCP-1314 cannot be recovered. 


The original copy of SCP-1314 was sent via mail to Agent by 
[DATA EXPUNGED]. After she had missed work for 3 days, Agent 
was sent to investigate her disappearance. Upon finding Agent 

in the later stages of infection, performing crosswords and mental 
exercises with the intent of delaying her calculations, Agent 
contained SCP-1314 and administered both Class-A and Class-B 
amnestics to Agent as aprecautionary measure. Shortly after her 
recovery, Agent accompanied Agent in [DATA EXPUNGED], 
preventing further distribution of hazardous memetic agents. After 
experimental analysis the containment of a physical copy of 
SCP-1314-A was deemed unnecessary, and the original was 
destroyed after being digitally scanned. 


Addendum: Request to use SCP-1314-A to increase logical and 
spacial-temporal reasoning skills of D-class personnel for use in 
unrelated experiments. —Dr. 

Granted. —O5- 


« SCP-1313 | SCP-1314 | SCP-1315 » 


SCP-1315: The Hardest Game 


Item #: SCP-1315 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1315 is kept in secure 
storage at Site 15. It is stored within a small safe on premises, the 
code to which can be requested via a written application from Dr. 
. AS SCP-1315 will not exhibit any anomalous effects unless 
directly interacted with, no further containment is necessary. 


Description: Item SCP-1315 is what appears to be a standard 5.5 x 
4.1 inch video game cartridge, for use with the North American 
version of the Nintendo Entertainment System console (also known 
as the "NES"). The cartridge is manufactured out of gray plastic, and 
is unlabeled. According to an operation manual packaged with the 
cartridge, the game is entitled Professor Ghoul's Terrifying Horror 
Challenge and is accompanied by a subtitle reading "a realistic high- 
stakes action game for 1 to 2 players". 


When the cartridge is used in a Nintendo Entertainment System, a 
black screen appears, containing nothing except a simple menu with 
the option for a single player or a two-player mode. Pressing the 
Start button on either of the options advances to another screen, 
where the game asks to confirm whether the persons currently 
holding the game controller(s) are those who wish to play the game. 
If the "No" option is selected, the game will return to the mode select 
menu. Selecting "Yes" prompts the game to beep loudly and then 
display a blank red screen. Nothing more will happen onscreen after 
this point. 


At this point, the "game" will begin, and the player(s) of the game will 
be subjected to a series of increasingly horrific "challenges" that 
apparently manifest in the physical world. While players will report 
being chased by monsters from within the game, it appears, to the 
best of the Foundation's knowledge, that these elements of the 


"game" are only visible to the player(s), and do not exist for other 
people who happen to be in the same area. The "challenges" 
involve players escaping from or combating hostile creatures over a 
series of levels. Each time a "challenge" is won, the game will inform 
the player of the objective for the next, and then the game will 
continue. The game's manual claims "the fun never ends" and does 
not specify how many "challenges" must be completed to win the 
game (if it can be won), though D-Class personnel who have played 
the game have thus far managed to reach Level 33. 


Once the "game" has begun, it cannot be halted until the player(s) 
either win or are defeated. Turning the Nintendo Entertainment 
System off simply renders the player(s) unable to receive hints from 
the game, and physically leaving the area in which the game is set 
up simply causes the phenomena manifested by the game to follow 
the player(s) elsewhere. Those playing the game grow gradually 
more distressed as the "challenges" continue, until they report that 
the game has become "too hard" for them, and they are captured by 
the enemies within the game, which prompts the game to end and 
the player(s) to disappear. It is not currently known where the 
player(s) are taken upon losing the game. 


Additional Materials 


Test Log 1315-1 

It appears that the content of the game is static, and does not 
change on subsequent playings. Different players have reported 
similar events occurring on certain levels, though there does appear 
to be some element of randomness, as some slight variation has 
been observed. 


Test Log 1315-1 


Level 1 

A large number of either spiders, rats or various insects 
attempts to overwhelm the player. A large container of 
insecticide or rodent poison appears somewhere within 
metres of the player's location. The player wins this level 
when the vermin are destroyed. 


Level 3