If the driver's seat remains unoccupied, individuals occupying the 
other seats or looking through the opened doors, see that SCP-1061 
is parked along the curb in front of a suburban residence. As with 
the illusory absence of vehicular damage, this illusion is visible to 
cameras and other electronic recording devices; however, this 
illusion does not activate unless a living human is seated within 
SCP-1061 and deactivates if all observers leave SCP-1061. The 
suburban environment always reflects the time of day at which the 
observers entered SCP-1061; if multiple observers enter SCP-1061 
at different times, the environment will continue to reflect the time of 
day as determined by the entry of the first observer. The 
environment persists until 6:04 PM — the time at which SCP-1061 
was in its collision; after 6:04 PM, the environment visible outside 
SCP-1061 "resets' to approximately 10:27 AM (as determined by 
shadow length, sun position and the times at which local residents 
are seen to return home from work or school). Observers at this 
point report seeing a blonde woman walking away from SCP-1061's 
driver's door. 


The second anomalous property manifests when a live human sits in 
touches SCP-1061's driver's seat. All such humans, with the 
exception of passenger-seat observers, become instances of 
SCP-1061-1. SCP-1061-1 is a human whose mind has been 
“overwritten” with what is believed to be the mind of [REDACTED], 
who was the registered owner of SCP-1061 prior to being killed in its 
collision; she is also believed to have been the woman seen walking 
away from SCP-1061 when its illusory environment resets. 
Instances of SCP-1061-1 believe that they are still in 1996. Even 
when removed from SCP-1061, instances of SCP-1061-1 believe 
that they are either at home or at one of various locations in or 
around the city of [REDACTED] and cannot be convinced otherwise. 


When allowed to remain within SCP-1061, SCP-1061-1 will "drive" 


SCP-1061 on various errands (instances of SCP-1061-1 will either 
insert a random key into SCP-1061's ignition or mime having 
inserted a key). SCP-1061-1 will treat any passenger-seat observers 
as friends of [REDACTED], refer to them by those friends' names 
and engage them in (one-sided) conversation about the personal 
details of those friends. SCP-1061-1 has demonstrated that it is 
willing to let observers exit SCP-1061 upon request and can easily 
be persuaded to allow new observers into SCP-1061, provided that 
their total number does not exceed 3. Observers report that, when 
SCP-1061-1 is "driving", the environment visible outside SCP-1061 
is consistent with that of a car being driven through the streets of 
urban/suburban [REDACTED] in 1996 and SCP-1061-1 will 
comment on incidents, people and objects which are visible along its 
route. SCP-1061-1 will perform between 5 and 11 errands, during 
which time it will never voluntarily exit SCP-1061; instead, at each 
‘stop’, it will enter a catatonic state for no less than 30 seconds and 
no more than 11 minutes (in which case, it will apologize to 
passenger-seat observers for having taken so long and cite ‘long 
line-ups’). The precise route followed by SCP-1061-1 varies 
between instances, as does the order of the errands; however, the 
overall nature of the errands remains the same. 


After no less than 36 minutes and no more than 70 minutes, 
SCP-1061 "drives" past [REDACTED] Laboratories and is involved 
in a head-on collision with a delivery van. Passenger-seat observers 
will be unaffected by the illusory impact, but SCP-1061-1 (who is not 
wearing its seatbelt) will be thrown forward with the typical force 
exerted on an unbelted driver engaged in a head-on collision. 


At this point, SCP-1061's third anomalous property will manifest. 
High-speed photography reveals that within 2 milliseconds of 
SCP-1061-1's head touching the portion of windshield damaged by 
the impact with [REDACTED]'s head in 1996, [DATA EXPUNGED] 
and SCP-1061-1's head vanishes. Once decapitated, instances of 
SCP-1061-1 are no longer considered anomalous and can be 
disposed of appropriately. 


Passenger-seat observers present during the "collision" and 
subsequent [REDACTED] report becoming aware of the existence 
of an anomalous entity, henceforth SCP-1061-2. [NOTE: All data 


pertaining to SCP-1061-2's nature and motivations is the result of 
anecdotal evidence provided by D-class personnel who have served 
as passenger-seat observers in tests of SCP-1061. As such, the 
reliability of the data is uncertain, as is the question of whether 
SCP-1061-2 even exists; however, the anecdotal data responses 
have largely been in accordance with each other.] 


Interview log 

Dr. : So why is it doing this? 

D-1061-14: It's like this, see - it didn't know we were 
here, it didn't even know our whole dimension even 
existed, until right after the car crash, understand? 

Dr. : Okay... 

D-1061-14: And now it wants more car crashes, ‘cause, 
well, it likes human heads. 

Dr. : It likes them? To eat? 

D-1061-14: Uh, | dunno if that's the right word, honestly. 
Anyway, so it wants more car crashes so it can get more 
heads, see, but it doesn't know how to make them 
happen. So it's... like... okay, you guys are scientists, 
right? So you all did grade 8 science class? 

Dr. : | suppose we did, yes. So...? 

D-1061-14: So you remember about, like, setting up an 
experiment, doing something different ways to find out 
which part matters? 

Dr. : ...oh! You mean experimental conditions? 
D-1061-14: Yeah, that [EXPLETIVE]. So the thing is, this 
[EXPLETIVE]er, it doesn't know what made the car crash 
happen. So it's got all the experimental conditions — 
what the car looked like on the inside, what you could 
see from out the windows, what was in the driver's brain, 
all that [EXPLETIVE] — and it's makin’ 'em happen over 
and over. Every time someone gets in the driver's seat, 
bam, their brain turns into whatserface from 1996 and 
she drives around for an hour until she gets in a car 
crash and then it has her head. 

Dr. : Thank you, this is most helpful. Tell me, how is 
it you know all this? 

D-1061-14: | was front-seat passenger, doc. Anyone 
who's front-seat passenger during the crash knows this. 


Dr. : Ah. Thank you very much. One other question - 
why is it using such a complicated method? If it has the 
power to do all these things, aren't there much simpler 
ways? 

D-1061-14: Just between you and me, doc... | don't think 
it's very smart. It's afraid to change too much, 'cause 
maybe it'll stop working. 


« SCP-1060 | SCP-1061 | SCP-1062 » 


SCP-1062: NS Magazine - Time 


Item #: SCP-1062 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1062 is currently 
contained in Secure Document Storage Locker #82 at Sector-25. 
The document is only available for testing, which must be 
supervised by at least one level-2 researcher, under the authority of 
two level-3 personnel. D-Class utilised in testing are not to have 
their termination postponed except under the express command of 
an O5. 


Four non-anomalous copies of SCP-1062 are held in Safe 
Document Storage File #3562 and are freely available to those with 
Level-0 clearance or higher. 


Description: SCP-1062 is an issue of the weekly science magazine 
'New Scientist’! No2833 “Time — the most mysterious dimension of 
all”. (08/10/2011). Disregarding general wear, which would be 
expected from a magazine left in a public waiting room for days, 
the only noticeable deviation from a standard copy issue is a 
pencilled note on the inside front cover: “11:48 —C”. 


The anomalous effect of SCP-1062 becomes apparent when either 
a feature article or the editorial is read. Upon reading an affected 
passage, the reader (henceforth referred to as the subject) 
undergoes a perceptual shift, which modifies a learned behaviour 
and all memories associated with said behaviour. Currently no 
methods have been devised capable of detecting the occurrence or 
nature of the perceptual shift. Therefore, the modification of the 
subject's behavioural pattern must be inferred from observation/ 
interview after testing has been concluded. 


Due to the fact that the subject will be unaware that any alteration 
has occurred, they may become distressed upon its revelation. On 


the presentation of evidence contrary to the subject's memories, 
those aware of such ideas may reach the conclusion that they have 
been transported to an alternative dimension/reality as a preference 
to the fact that their experiences and recollection may be false. This 
is considered improbable as no particles or radiation have 
been detected. 


The transformations caused by the document are unresponsive to 
all but the most potent grades of amnestics; however, normative 
behaviour can be relearned with no further difficulty than would 
otherwise be expected. 


The effect of SCP-1062 is not contagious and is not transmissible by 
reading aloud an article or by photocopying or otherwise 
reproducing the text. As of the date of this document no hypothesis 
on how the articles cause their effect has been proven. 


+ Abridged Testing Log 


Test No.: 8 

Date: / /2011 

Subject: D-2298 

Article: Ultimate clocks 

Modification: Subject has no concept of cutlery. 


Test No.: 12 

Date: / /2011 

Subject: D-2364 

Article: Editorial 

Modification: Subject associates the colour cyan with 
‘go’. States traffic light sequence is: red, amber, cyan. 


Test No.: 17 

Date: / /2011 

Subject: D-2687 

Article: The truth about time travel 

Modification: Subject communicates in English with 
incorrect grammatical structure, new structure appears to 
follow Latin rules with logical consistency (i.e. conjugated 
verbs occur at end of sentence structure). 


Test No.: 23 

Date: / /2011 

Subject: D-2745 

Article: Editorial 

Modification: Unknown. 

Notes: This is the first recorded instance where no 
alteration could be detected before subject disposal. 


Test No.: 26 

Date: / /2011 

Subject: D-2753 

Article: Living without time 

Modification: Subject under the impression that each 
24hr day counts down from 24 and that the directions 
clockwise and anti-clockwise are reversed. 


Footnotes 
1. ISSN: 0262 4079. 


« SCP-1061 | SCP-1062 | SCP-1063 » 


SCP-1063: Freiherr von Schwarzwald 


Item #: SCP-1063 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1063 is to be kept in a 
20m x 20m x 6m habitat simulating a temperate deciduous/ 
coniferous forest environment, bordered by 60 (sixty)-cm-thick 
unpolished granite walls covered with live moss; SCP-1063 is 
unable highly reluctant to damage objects which are supporting live 
plants. All personnel who enter SCP-1063's containment for any 
purpose are to carry live potted plants in plain view; guards are to 
carry flamethrowers as well as potted plants. 


It is forbidden to speak English within 30 meters of SCP-1063's 
containment, as SCP-1063 becomes hostile towards individuals 
whom it has heard speaking English. 


Vegetation and microfauna in SCP-1063's habitat are to be 
maintained according to schedule 1063-N6. Climate in SCP-1063's 
habitat is to be maintained according to schedule 1063-CX5; after 
each simulated rainfall, SCP-1063 is to be provided with a plain 
towel made of 100% natural unbleached undyed fibers, so that it 
may dry its non-water-resistant components. 


Description: SCP-1063 is a humanoid automaton which appears to 
be constructed entirely out of wood, with highly articulated joints 
made of wooden ball bearings of various sizes. It is 2 meters tall, 
103 kg, and resembles a bearded Caucasian man in mid-1 9th- 
century formal wear. Its lower left arm does not terminate in a hand, 
but instead flattens and broadens to form an axe blade almost 

70 cm across. Although this blade is made of wood, it is razor-sharp, 
and is almost metallic in its mechanical properties; when enraged, 
SCP-1063 is able to sever human heads or limbs in a single blow, 
and to chop through over 30 (thirty) cm of granite, with no damage 
to the blade. 


SCP-1063's "clothes" are carved out of wood and are of a piece with 
its body, with the exception of several cosmetic accessories all 
made of severely oxidized copper (six "shirt" buttons, a warped and 
dented hatband encircling its head, a broken monocle rim 
surrounding its right eye, cufflinks on its right "sleeve", a belt buckle, 
and a watch chain dangling from its left "coat pocket" — but no 
watch), and a tattered and faded Swastika armband on its upper 
right arm. 


Its power source is unknown, as are the methods by which it is able 
to see, hear, and think; radiographic, ultrasonic and [REDACTED] 
imaging all indicate that it is solid wood, with the exception of the 
aforementioned cosmetic accessories. 


SCP-1063 is not able to speak, but can write in several dialects of 
German, as well as in French. Psychological examinations have 
revealed a generally affable personality, characterised by mood 
swings and an overall low intelligence. (NOTE: Researchers wishing 
to interview SCP-1063 should familiarize themselves with the 
Fraktur mode of calligraphy). SCP-1063 refers to itself as "Freiherr 
von Schwarzwald", or "Lord of the Black Forest", and has described 
itself as a genuine aristocrat, ennobled by "the King himself" 
(translated from German); SCP-1063 has not been able to provide 
more specific information as to which king this was, but has 
expressed scorn at the suggestion that it was Wilhelm | of Prussia 
(who later became the Kaiser, or Emperor), describing him as an 
‘upstart’ and "latecomer". These attitudes, and other statements 
made by SCP-1063, indicate that it was created no later than the 
mid-19th century, which is in accordance with its style of clothing. 


SCP-1063 has stated that it has two purposes in existence. The first 
purpose, which it claims to have had since "the day of my first 
waking", is to protect the trees and other plant life of the Black 
Forest region of Germany at any cost. The second purpose, which it 
claims to have been taught by "those nice soldiers who gave me the 
[swastika] armband", is to protect Germany from English-speaking 
invaders. 


SCP-1063 first came to the Foundation's attention as the result of a 
statistically anomalous number of missing persons reports from the 
village of [REDACTED], Germany, in 19 . Foundation personnel 


surveyed the region while disguised as a search party, and were 
attacked by SCP-1063 when they began to prepare a campfire; 
subject was quickly subdued and captured with no casualties. 


After capturing SCP-1063, personnel coerced it into showing them 
the bodies of the people it had killed for either "harmful disrespect 
of nature" or speaking English; the bodies were then further 
mutilated to support a cover story of accidental discovery of leftover 
explosives from the Second World War. 


« SCP-1062 | SCP-1063 | SCP-1064 » 


SCP-1064: Candle Ring 


Item #: SCP-1064 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: When not required for testing 
purposes, SCP-1064 is to be contained in a sealed storage locker 
located within Sector-28. Since SCP-1064 is considered to be 
harmless when not actively in use, no further precautions are 
required to be taken at this time. 


Description: SCP-1064 is a novelty ring made of pink-coloured 
plastic. The setting is designed to hold a small candle of the kind 
typically found on birthday cakes. SCP-1064 has no visible makers’ 
mark or distinguishing features and appears to have been mass- 
produced using standard plastic moulding techniques. 


If no candle has been inserted into the setting, SCP-1064 will not 
cause any effect when worn or otherwise handled. Test subjects 
experience no compulsion either to put on SCP-1064 or to insert a 
candle into it.