No sound. Dead silence. The sound of my breath is kind 
of loud. 


Dr. : You can breathe? 


SCP-2922-B: Yeah. Still got my body, or at least a 
duplicate. 


Dr. : How do you feel? 


SCP-2922-B: Emotionally or physically? The former, still 
pretty awful to be honest. 


Dr. : The latter? 


SCP-2922-B: I'm not in pain... I'm not hungry. | don't feel 
like | need to do anything. I'm - listen. Can | speak to my 
husband? 


Dr. : I'll have to take that up with O5. 


SCP-2922-B: Okay, really press for it if you can. | miss 
him so much already. 


Dr. : Noted. I'll bet he does too. 


SCP-2922-B: How about this. I'm going to walk, straight 
line, in one direction, for a very long time. As soon as | 
see something other than sand, I'll contact you again. 


Dr. : Sounds good, we'll be here whenever you've 
got something. 


(SCP-2922-B hangs up) 
PC-03 
SCP-2922-B: You there?! 
Dr. : Janet, what do you have for us? 
SCP-2922-B: Some real freaky shit. | was just getting to 


the base of some mountains. How long's it been since | 
last called? 


Dr. : Five days. 


SCP-2922-B: And I'm not tired or hungry either, that's 
weird. Anyway, | found another life form. | think. 


Dr. : Human? 


SCP-2922-B: Bipedal, mammalian, that's where the 
human similarities end. Bigger than the surrounding 
mountains - wild guess, it's about 2,000 meters high. 
Slow-moving primate of some kind. It came out of the 
mountains after | heard some sound like a long, slow 
drumbeat. Its footsteps. Matted black fur all over, only 
different colors were its two glowing white eyes, like 
searchlights. | don't think it had a mouth. Anyway, | think 
I've got some kind of confirmation that this is an afterlife, 
if not the afterlife. It stepped on me. 


Dr. : It attacked you? 


SCP-2922-B: More out of curiosity, | think. It just wanted 
to see how much force my body could stand from its foot. 
lt wasn't angry. Hell, I'd say it was even polite about 
smashing me, in its own stupid little way. 


Dr. : You were crushed flat, and you're still talking to 
us? 


SCP-2922-B: Every wound regenerates here. Hurt like 
hell for about two minutes, but my skin and bones put 
itself back together in just a few seconds. 


Dr. : And where is this primate? 


SCP-2922-B: Went off into the desert. | think it's just as 
lost as | am. ...I'm seeing some fire in a small valley. 
Appears man-made from campfires... People. | see 
people. 


Dr. : How many? 


SCP-2922-B: Hundreds. Looking in this valley, they're all 


just sort of huddled up. All of them naked as | am. Some 
of them are buried waist-up in the ground. Why the hell 
would they do that? 


Dr. : Do they appear to be suffering? 

SCP-2922-B: No. | think they buried themselves. Like, 
maybe they're at peace with their condition and just want 
a place to relax. 

(SCP-2922-B hesitates) 

SCP-2922-B: That'll be me soon, won't it. 

Dr. : Stay calm. 


SCP-2922-B: Look - I've given you insights to something 
you couldn't possibly imagine seeing in your time at the 
Foundation. | only ask in return that you let me talk to my 
husband. 


Dr. : | checked with O5. The only people you are 
authorized to speak with are Project Corbenic personnel. 


SCP-2922-B: Then hire him. 

Dr. : He has an art history degree. | doubt he'd be 
able to last long in a scientific environment for reasons 
other than to contact you. 


SCP-2922-B: Fuck it. 
(SCP-2922-B hangs up) 


PC-04 
SCP-2922-B: Good news. 
Dr. : Yes? 


SCP-2922-B: A wagon came to the human camp, driven 
by a guy in a white robe and a skeletal horse. Says we're 


being taken to the "Elysian Fields." Paradise, basically. 
Dr. : Interesting. You don't sound too happy about it. 
SCP-2922-B: Yeah, sure. 

(SCP-2922-B hangs up) 


Addendum 2: After PC-04, no further transmissions had been 
received from SCP-2922-B for seven months. Multiple attempts 
were made to contact SCP-2922-B through a phone call. All had 
failed. Project Corbenic was put on hiatus, until a voicemail was 
recovered from SCP-2922-A. 


PC-05 
(Voicemail recording begins) 


SCP-2922-B: This is Janet. I've been following your 
efforts to track me down - it helps when you've won the 
favor of the seventh [DATA EXPUNGED]. All it took was 
for me to tell you of a field of reeds where everyone's 
happy forever, and you wanted more. Why? So that you 
can all have an excuse to die? So you can skip the 
training and jump right into the mission blind? Cowards. 


Look, everything was true, right up until the grim reaper 
came in a wagon. Even the giant monkey wasn't a 
fabrication. After that, the truth is much more 
complicated, and there's a very easy way for me to tell 
you what actually happens after you die. / want to talk to 
my husband. \f your fear and hatred of civilians trumps 
your thirst for knowledge and you decide to not follow 
through, I'll Know. And then you'll never know. 


Dr. Janet Spiegel, advisor to [DATA EXPUNGED] the 
Impenetrable, signing off. 


(recording ends) 


+ PC-06 - 5/2922 ACCESS REQUIRED 


On 6/14/15, MTF Psi-8 "The Silencers" raided the home 
of Herman Spiegel, widower to Dr. Janet Spiegel, after 
detecting a voicemail from an anomalous source similar 
to the one received by SCP-2922-A. Upon discovery, Mr. 
Spiegel threw the phone at a wall in an attempt to 
destroy it, and was shot. The phone was unharmed, and 
this voicemail was uncovered. 


(voicemail recording begins) 


SCP-2922-B: Herm, it's me. | know you might 
have doubts, but you are standing in your silly 
silk PJs looking at your phone like you've just 
gone crazy. It's 3:54 AM where you are. This is 
Janet, and I'm contacting you from beyond the 
grave. You're not crazy. 


Now listen carefully, because it was hard 
enough to send this to a phone that wasn't 
2922-A and [DATA EXPUNGED] the 
Impenetrable can only work so much magic - 
he's friendlier than he sounds, trust me, we're 
on a first-name basis. 


That's not important - some guys from a 
Foundation task force are headed to our 
house. They'll be there in less than ten 
minutes. | can see this, | have some help. This 
is MTF Psi-8 that's after you, really black-ops 
Foundation stuff, they have a policy of not 
taking prisoners. You're about to die. 


Look, | Know you're very scared right now. | 
wish | could be there. Your dead wife is telling 
you you're about to die, and | know that scares 
you, especially since you're an atheist. But | 
assure you - there is an afterlife. There are 
millions of afterlives. There are as many 
different ones as there are different types of 
people. I'm in one of the preferable ones, and 
you can be here with me if you follow my path. 


There isn't much | can say about the journey 
without compromising the whole thing, but 
you've been preparing for this journey your 
whole life. You've been given instructions 
along the way, you just didn't know they were 
at the time. Look back to your most important 
memories. This is not hell, or heaven, or 
purgatory. This is the final exam. 


There are just a few things to remember - one, 
never give up. | know you can reach me, 
you're the strongest and bravest guy | know. 
Two, follow the moon on the left. Get to the 
Valley of the Striders, and ask the three-faced 
tree where the "spy" went. It'll make sense 
when you get there. 


Three, do NOT do anything that'll make 
anyone angry. If a Strider wants to kill you, let 
it. You'll regenerate, it's harmless. | think that's 
their way of saying "hello." It happened to me - 
things can't die here, but there's something 
worse. Whatever you do, do not get "sent 
back" by the Striders or the Eight [DATA 
EXPUNGED]. | can't say what that is without 
making it happen to you, but you don't want it. 
Four, most importantly— 


Shit. They're at your door. Remember what | 
told you. Delete this voicemail, smash this 
phone to pieces, they must never know. 


I've got [DATA EXPUNGED] the Impenetrable 
on my side and he'll do what he can to help 
you along the way. For the record, he believes 
in you too, and that's high praise considering 
that it comes from a being of his power. 


I'll be watching. Win or lose, | love you forever. 


(recording ends) 


methods have helped reduce the frequency and severity of such 
issues, and it's theorized that with more time SCP-347 may heal 
from the trauma of years of not being seen and being completely 
alone. 


It has been suggested that SCP-347 be introduced to other SCPs, 
as human contact appears to be quite pleasing, and she greatly 
enjoys being acknowledged without being seen as strange. When 
ignored, SCP-347 does not seem to demand attention, but rather 
toys with people by rearranging things and hiding things. When left 
alone with somebody who is sleeping or otherwise distracted, it 
should be noted that SCP-347 will touch and stroke a sleeping 
person, tuck in their blankets, and do other small things. SCP-347 
has confirmed that this behavior just feels "right" although the 
person it's done to often describes it as "unnerving". 


Although SCP-347 is invisible in all terms of visible light, she may 
still be observed via ultraviolet or infrared cameras. 


Addendum: Dr. Rights has requested that all male personnel in 
contact with SCP-347 politely refuse advances. (See document 
347-01) 


Document 347-01 She's an invisible kleptomaniac. When you 
leave, afterward, you're going to realize three seconds too late that 
you don't have your keys in your pocket anymore, and you will be 
held accountable for whatever happens. Besides, the last thing we 
need is an invisible pregnancy. -Dr. Rights 


« SCP-346 | SCP-347 | SCP-348 » 


Following PC-06, Operation Galahad is officially in 
effect. 


« SCP-2921 | SCP-2922 | SCP-2923 » 


SCP-2923: X-Men Syndrome 


Item #: SCP-2923 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: Instances of SCP-2923 are to 
be locked in Site-5' Site-11's Anomalous Item Storage Locker. This 
locker is accessible via doubly redundant keycard access locks 
restricted to personnel with 2/2923 clearance. Following Incident 
2923-02, testing has been suspended. 


Description: SCP-2923 is a collection of protein bars (SCP-2923-1 
to -12), each of which produce a variety of anomalous effects in 
humans once consumed. The name "Dr. Wondertainment's Protein 
POWER-UP Bars!™", are printed on the wrappers of each instance, 
along with a listed flavor. A short blurb advertising the item is located 
on the undersides of the wrappers: 


Dazzle your friends! Frighten your enemies! With 
Wondertainment, for-real superpowers are but a bite 
away! Now you too can experience the thrill of saving the 
day! Twelve amazing flavors, twelve INCREDIBLE 
powers! 


Incident Report SCP-2923-01: A box containing 144 (12 of each 
instance) bars of SCP-2923 was found on Dr. Ackles's doorstep on 
10/12/2015. A temporary corruption of the security footage between 
02:00-02:05 hindered investigation into the origin of the package, 
and no fingerprints or traces of DNA were left behind during the 
delivery. Dr. Ackles contacted containment personnel for retrieval 
upon recognition of the brand name. 


Excerpt from testing logs 


instance/Label Test/Resuits 
-11/Mental Meringue! Six minutes after ingesting the 


-03/Pyrokinetic Pineapple! 


-06/X-Raisin! 


instance, D-9661 began to 
complain of hearing dozens of 
voices. Contents of their soeech 
was reportedly limited to half- 
formed sentences, self-conscious 
inquiry, snippets of popular 
songs, and inane conversations 
interspersed with perverse 
statements. Repeated testing 
yielded similar results, though on 
the seventh trial D-9205 became 
privy to information regarding a 
Thaumiel-Class object. All -11 
subjects were terminated due to 
the possibility of an internal 
information breach. 

Five minutes after consuming the 
instance, subjects begin to 
excessively perspire. The 
subjects then spontaneously 
erupt into flames. Death ensues 
within minutes, and the 
anomalous effect ceases. 
Analysis of the remains has 
revealed that the subjects' sweat 
glands begin producing 
triethyloorane. During the third 
test of this flavor, the subject did 
in fact prove to be immune to the 
heat generated by its own flame. 
Unfortunately, this subject expired 
due to its flame consuming all 
available oxygen. 

Subject reported being capable of 
seeing through surrounding 
materials, and testing revealed 
their eyes to be emitting ionizing 
radiation. Over the next few days, 
the subject was rendered blind as 
a result of damage to their 


-09/Temporal Toffee! 


-06/Peanut-Brawler Crunch! 


-04/Coconut Cream Piebeam! 


-07/Yummy Gummy Taffy Toffee! 


corneas. 
No effects were visible twenty 
minutes after consumption. 
D-7473 was then instructed by 
the attending supervisor to 
attempt to travel one minute into 
the future. D-7473 vanished from 
testing area after a brief period of 
intense concentration, and did not 
reappear at the designated time. 
The subject was later located by 
researchers stationed at Lunar 
Area-32, approximately 4,000 km 
from Earth. 

Subject underwent a rapid 
increase in muscle mass, gaining 
over 100 kg in a matter of 
seconds. This experience caused 
the subject's epidermis to stretch 
and rupture in several areas, and 
the subject expired due to blood 
loss. 

Subject reported an unfamiliar 
ocular sensation, and after a 
moment of concentration, subject 
produced a concussive energy 
blast from her eyes. The recoil 
from said blast was sufficient to 
snap the subject's neck, killing 
her instantly. 

Subject displayed extreme full- 
body malleability, exhibiting the 
ability to contort and twist herself 
into several knots and shapes. 
The subject attempted to 
determine the limits of this new- 
found capability, by flattening and 
stretching her body along the 
northern wall of the testing 
chamber. The subject proved 


unable to resume her original 
form, and expired a short time 
later. Cause of death appeared to 
be a result of ischemic hypoxia. 

-01/Machmallow! [DATA EXPUNGED], it took 
several days for all traces of the 
subject to be removed from the 
chamber. 


Incident Report SCP-2923-02 


The following note was found within the folder previously containing 
physical copies for SCP-2923 test logs in Site-11's secure files 
storage room. 


To our dearest friends at the Fun-dation, 


On the behalf of Wondertainment, and children the world 
over, we would like to formally thank you! It is only 
through rigorous product testing that we at 
Wondertainment may ensure the safety of our fine 
customers. As your organization have been a 
Wonderfully major supporter in the past (Don't think we 
don't know who has our full supply of Gusho-Squisho 
Squeeze 'Em Smack 'Em Twisty Tutti-Frutti Retrocausal 
Gummi Worms™)|), and due to you employing the 
largest amount of Delicatessen-Class in this or any other 
plane, we figure it's high time we rewarded your 
patronage! (Yay, friendship!!!) 


Why, if it weren't for the Wonderful Testing Prowess of 
your assuredly egg-headed Misters and Missus, who 
knows what harm might befall our innocent 
consumers?!? Now, with some minor modifications, we 
may finally release our Protein POWER-UP Bars™ to 
delight of children everywhere! We eagerly look forward 
to working with you again! 


Ever in Wonder, 
(Archduke-Viceroy of Quality Assurance)