"That approach leads to checkmate in four moves," said the boy, 
fixing his opponent with a large blue eye. The teenager looked over 
the board, then took his fingers off the black knight. He moved. Then 
moved again. Then moved again. Then he couldn't move. The 
younger boy had placed his king in double check between a knight 
and his remaining rook, with the teenager's promoted pawn on the 
far side of the board only able to capture one of them in his next 


move. 


As the teenager's parents clapped him on the back gently and told 
him there was still plenty of time to raise his game, a couple of 
figures at the next bench looked on. 


"That," said the Russian, jabbing his finger in the direction of the 
twelve-year-old, who still sat serenely in contemplation of the 
endgame. "That is what | want. Or will you tell me it's not possible?" 


His companion peeled his lips back over perfect white teeth, and he 
chuckled, softly. "My dear fellow, nothing in this world is off-limits." 


Acquisitions: 


¢ Act I—'Jellybeans' 
* Act II "You are invited’ 
* Act Ill—'Rainy in London’ 


SCPs and Tales referenced, derivative elements and 
Author's Notes—spoiler-heavy: 


Spoilers 


SCPs used as plot devices: 
SCP-1552, SCP-1418—both written by the author 


SCPs unambiguously mentioned but which do not 
appear: 
SCP-1425 (with permission) 


SCPs enumerated but not elaborated on: 
SCP-538, SCP-1729 


SCPs alluded to: 

'A statue which has an orientation that cannot be 
altered.—The former SCP-518, now an Anomalous Item 
‘a truly talented magician-aerialist appeared to fall apart 
in mid-flight—SCP-568 via Tara Unknown's 'A Circus for 
MC&D Lid' 

‘the roadworks were back, this time right outside his 


apartment. The workmen seemed to eye him 
suspiciously as he drove past and wrote things down in 
little notebooks. —the author's SCP-1251 

‘a mist spread out over the whole ballroom, arching over 
the guests—could be SCP-1660, but primarily inspired 
by a sandboxed SCP | saw on the IRC which was a free- 
standing arch of mist which irritated your eyes until you 
closed them, whereupon you were able to view 
somewhere else entirely. | advised the author that it 
didn't work unless the secondary location was 
somewhere sensitive like a Foundation facility—guess | 
was wrong. | don't think it ever made it up onto the site. 
‘throwing sugar into people's eyes—SCP-989 

‘doors that opened into other places —SCP-384 

‘a liquid that turned anything into food'—SCP-1600 

‘a chessboard that was not a chessboard'—SCP-177, in 
a darker shade 

‘a Shattered Exidy Sorceror home computer—an 
iteration of SCP-079; the things are mass-produced, you 
know 

‘a wind-up monkey'—a distant relative of SCP-050, 
perhaps? 

"Sunny in Mogadishu," said a voice close behind him. — 
some iteration of SCP-652, by way of Tanhony's 'Fun' 
'The dragon's new, though ... thoroughly disgusted. ..— 
seriously, do | have to explain this one? 

‘a man in an orange jumpsuit painted a door clamped 
horizontally to a pair of workbenches —SCP-1199 
‘Examining a horse, hanging in a set of medical stirrups 
from the ceiling, as though it were some kind of alien 
creature——open to this being SCP-042, SCP-1194 or 
even SCP-1156; all can be interpreted as being in Britain 
(see my compilation of skips associated with 
Sector-25) 

‘Pouring a popular brand of detergent on clothes within a 
fumigation tank via a robotic arm—SCP-325 


Tales alluded to: 
Tara Unknown's 'A Circus for MC&D Ltd' 
Blegg's ‘Fortunate Son’ 


Tanhony's 'Fun' 

Clefis 'Game Day' 

Bookwizard's 'MC&D Agent Orientation’, quoted near- 
verbatim during the orientation sequence 

Arlecchio's "Taking Stock' 

DrMann's 'Thank You For Your Time' 


Other: 

MC&D's SCP-generated business cards taken from 
pooryoric's idea in this thread, endorsed by Gears 
Carter's appearance largely drawn from Arlecchio's 
‘Taking Stock’. One slight difference; Arlecchio's Carter 
has rheumy eyes and a full set of teeth, albeit yellowed 
and hideous. When | was writing ‘Acquisitions’, | opted 
for a toothless Carter with clear eyes to set him apart 
from the grinning Marshall and make him seem sharp in 
the small glimpse we get of him. As far as | know, Carter- 
as-anthropometrist is a new quirk I've added. 

The character of the Bagman is drawn from Clef's 
"Game Day', though his appearance and modus 
operandi is rather different. 


Credits: 

First off, the big disclaimer. This is unambiguously and 
intentionally crossover fiction between the SCP universe, 
Harry Bingham's 'The Money Makers’ and Lev 
Grossman's 'Codex' (those popular and beloved 
universes...). 'Crossover' is here meant in a very literal 
sense—Edward Gradley is a portmanteau of the names 
of two protagonists from the books and the revelation of 
his mother's maiden name furnishes the point of 
convergence between the two worlds. The following 
characters and scenes are inspired by plot elements that 
appear in one or the other work: 

- Bernard Gradley in his entirety is a five-finger discount 
from 'The Money Makers’. The nature of his will is 
changed significantly and the competition that forms the 
basis of Harry Bingham's work removed altogether 
(though a simplified allusion to the plot of ‘The Money 
Makers' is made in a dream sequence). 


- Edward's encounter with Raymond Macintyre in the car 
park and subsequent unexpected salary boost happened 
with Zack Gradley and minor character Dixon 
Banderman in ‘The Money Makers’. 

- The Cholmondeley deal is heavily inspired by the 
Hatherleigh Pacific takeover that formed the climax of 
Zack Gradley's plot arc. Some of the language regarding 
the salary review was also inspired by Matthew Gradley's 
subplot. 

- It is never explained why or how Edward Wozny in 
‘Codex' lost his ability to play chess. | rectify this in the 
course of ‘Acquisitions’. 

- The (fictitious) Gervase of Langford and his codex are 
very intentionally taken from 'Codex' as an exercise in 
metafiction, though the circumstances surrounding it are 
obviously different. The paraphrased plot of the Viage 
has not been changed, though details have been added 
and an ending (not provided in the original) supplied—in 
the original work there is no explanation at all for the 
Viage's unusually sophisticated writing style nor its 
disintegration into insanity; | hope the solution | have 
provided here is both elegant within the context of the 
SCP Foundation world and that the ending | have written 
for the Viage also makes a narratively satisfying 
conclusion to 'Codex' as well. It's notable that | actually 
make reference to two CkK-class events in the course of 
this story. It's left as an exercise to the reader to 
determine which SCP (not listed above) is the crux of 
this subplot. It does exist, and is popular. 

- Bashir 'Slasher’ Khan owes a debt to ‘Black Nick' 
Draper, on whom Matthew Gradley gambles and loses in 
"The Money Makers’. Both, however, are obvious expies 
of the real-life figure of Fred 'The Shred’ Goodwin, one of 
the major figures in the 2008 crash. 

- To a lesser extent, Edward's grilling by MacIntyre over 
suspicious use (or lack thereof) of his research card and 
his bailout by mentor David are inspired by a similar 
scene in 'The Money Makers’. 

- The Carmichael & Sons deal is a nod to George 
Gradley's plotline and the dirty tricks campaign by 


compulsive disorder. In this stage, carriers can often be 
communicated with as normal, but are unable to prevent themselves 
from acting out the SCP-571 compulsion. 


If an individual SCP-571 carrier does not successfully infect a new, 
previously uninfected carrier within [REDACTED], exponential 
psychological deterioration will occur in the carrier. The type and 
rate of deterioration varies from carrier to carrier, but ends with near- 
total lack of activity in the cerebrum. Onset of deterioration can be 
delayed further (or temporarily halted once begun) by infecting 
multiple new carriers within a short period of time. Individual 
SCP-571 carriers are aware of this circumstance and may use this 
fact as a way to coax others to view the SCP-571 pattern. 


Carriers of SCP-571 who are unable to locate other uninfected 
humans for [REDACTED] days will begin to regularly coax other 
carriers to view and copy the pattern again. In the final stage of 
psychological deterioration, 30% of carriers will, if not prompted 
otherwise, continue this cycle until undergoing death by thirst. The 
remainder of exposed individuals will eat and drink as necessary, 
but will often neglect other non-vital bodily needs (such as using 
restrooms or voluntarily sleeping). 


Exposure to Class-C amnestics may cause SCP-571 carriers to lose 
their ability to perfectly duplicate the SCP-571 pattern. However, 
carriers will continue to attempt to recreate the pattern and attempt 
to coax other individuals to view it. These depictions are never 
accurate depictions of SCP-571 (even in individuals with 
‘photographic’ memory, as the pattern is too complex to be copied 
by non-anomalous means) and cannot be transmitted. There is no 
known means of completely curing individuals affected by SCP-571. 


As carriers of SCP-571 are permanently unable to engage in any 
conscious activity unrelated to enticing another person to view 
SCP-571, containment breach may result in an AK-class end-of-the- 
world scenario if SCP-571 carriers are able to reach major urban 
population centers. 


Addendum: Incident X571-A: [DATA EXPUNGED] Because of the 
heightened likelihood that further instances may come into existence 
outside of containment, SCP-571 has been reclassified as Keter. 


Gissings against Aspertons. 


David Went's surname is drawn from a key family in 
‘Codex' but his character is more closely inspired by Tip 
Skikne from Chip Kidd's excellent 'The Learners' (Read 
it. Now.). Edward's treatment of Peter Davis owes a debt 
to Ayn Rand's 'The Fountainhead’, which | also allowed 
to furnish some of Edward's Gradley's own beliefs (not 
shared, you may be relieved to learn, by this author); the 
way they are expounded is heavily influenced by (the 
criminally forgotten Victorian society novel parts of) 
Lewis Carroll's 'Sylvie and Bruno’. He is, in fact, a 
portmanteau of Peter Keating and Tim Davis, the two 
figures in the corresponding Rand subplot. You may also 
detect in Davis shades of Hal Gillingham from 'The 
Money-Makers'. Having made this decision, | 
subsequently repurposed a scene from the end of ‘Atlas 
Shrugged' for Edward's brief encounter with Matt 
Berkeley, which may go some way to explaining why it 
suddenly veers off into a philosophical rant. 


The name Maria Beaumont and the Sardines game have 
been appropriated from Alfred Bester's 'The Demolished 
Man’; it's the last remnant (other than a deliberate nod 
back to it the dream sequence) of a very early sketch of 
the piece where Lady Penelope and Maria Beaumont 
were the same figure; the head of the London MC&D 
chapterhouse. The Demolished Man's Maria Beaumont, 
the plastic surgery-addicted 'Gilt Corpse’, is a rather 
different character, with my Maria playing Barbara 
D'Courtney to Edward's Ben Reich. 


A scene in Clive Barker's 'Weaveworld' was the 
inspiration for SCP-1418 and subsequently Edward's 
encounter in the dark, which became the seed for this 
Tale. The 'Four Horsemen' started life as expies of the 
‘Lone Gunmen’ from X-Files but have subsequently 
taken on rather crazed life of their very own. 


The ACTLE/Wincanton nationalisation was pulled 
straight from the headlines with Repsol and YPF. 


Author's notes: 

My portrayal of Marshall, Carter & Dark (I originally 
planned to keep the 'canon' formatting 'Marshall, Carter, 
and Dark’ but was advised on IRC that it's probably a 
typo that's become engrained in the mythos) is possibly 
a little off the beaten path, especially at the start. This is 
partially because | wanted to portray the Gol from the 
perspective of someone outside the Veil, rationalising 
what they are seeing; if you look closely, the mindwiped 
servants and dubious back rooms where members 
indulge unconventional desires are still there, but simply 
aren't the focus of this Tale. 


| wanted to attempt to harmonise different interpretations 
of MC&D I've seen on the site. Are they an exclusive 
auction house, a politically-influential secret society, 
entrepreneurs seeking world domination with a private 
army, a brothel, a shadow government? Personally, | 
dislike the notion that MC&D are a seedy sex club— 
whilst they certainly wouldn't balk at providing such 
services in ‘Acquisitions’, and in fact use them to 
increase their control over their members, they also have 
to be an organisation that the rich and powerful, both 
men and women, aren't ashamed to be part of. The idea 
of MC&D asa gentleman's club seems to tick all 
the boxes. 


| wasn't sure about the idea that MC&D operate off the 
radar with clubhouses hidden using skips; when | started 
| had the idea that MC&D were going to be almost out in 
the open—they wouldn't have their name on the sign, but 
their buildings would be in plain sight and you could see 
the right and powerful going in and out; they would be 
protected by the status of their members and a certain 
measure of mutual respect by the Foundation. Blegg's 
‘Fortunate Son' changed my mind and | eventually went 
Harry Potter on their security arrangements for this Tale. 


As to the military capabilities of MC&D, existing Tales as 
one might expect take different views. The MC&D in 


‘Taking Stock’ who intimidate with armed thugs seem a 
world away from the world-menacing MC&D who 
unleash lethal and fully controlled skips in ‘Fun’. 
Hopefully the middle ground I've taken here is 
appropriate. 


As the story goes on, | allow Marshall to act out more 
and more until by the end he's hopefully back to his 
typical characterisation, reflecting the slow perspective 
shift as Edward moves through the Veil. “The body, Mr 
Carter!”, which | fully intend to use as the title of a shorter 
work as soon as | can find a good picture for that teapot, 
is the line that separates ‘manipulative information dealer 
Marshall’ and ‘cartoon villain Marshall’. Before people 
leap down my throat | should point out that | am not 
actually establishing Marshall's first name as 'Jeremy'—if 
you notice, that's an assumption Edward makes based 
on the pseudonym Marshall uses to introduce himself (cf. 
DrMann's 'Thank You For Your Time’). 


In my headcanon, all three founding partners are the 
original ones. Dark is long dead, as per pooryoric's ‘From 
The Desk of B. Dark', which doesn't stop him from 
showing up from time to time as well as running the club 
from beyond the grave, Hari Seldon-style (see my short 
‘Dark’, written for Gears' birthday challenge, for just how 
far | envisage his control freakery extending). Marshall 
has some kind of skip that is keeping him young-ish, 
although as the one past appearance of Marshall in 
‘Acquisitions’ is only thirteen years ago, this isn't really a 
necessity and isn't mentioned outright. Carter has to 
make do with sucking on the juices of the occasional 
young man (and that sounded wrong), which keeps him 
circling the drain; he refuses to die, if only because he 
actually can't stand Marshall and doesn't want the club in 
his sole hands. 


| am aware that as a Tale with no fights, no explosions, 
and only one ambiguous death possibly due to a skip 
‘Acquisitions’ is far from high-octane; with 5,600 words