Interview Log 662-37 
Interviewer: Dr. S. Samesh 
Interviewed: SCP-662-1 ("Mr. Deeds") 


Foreword: During a review of objects found among the effects of 
SCP-1867, a journal was found in which SCP-1867 made several 
references to employing an individual named "Deeds" as a valet. In 
light of SCP-1867's apparent knowledge of and interactions with 
several known SCP objects, an interview was conducted to 
determine whether SCP-662-1 was the same individual referred to 
by SCP-1867, and what knowledge, if any, it had of that individual 
and the veracity of its claims. 


<Begin Log, / /20 , 12:53 PM> 


Dr. Samesh enters the interview room, seats himself at the table, 
and rings SCP-662. After a period of 38 seconds, the door to the 
interview room opens and Mr. Deeds enters. 


Mr. Deeds: Good afternoon, Dr. Samesh. How may | be of service? 


Dr. Samesh: Please have a seat, Mr. Deeds. | would like to ask you 
some questions. 


Mr. Deeds: Very well, sir. 
Mr. Deeds seats himself. 


Dr. Samesh: Have you at any time in your recollection been in the 
service of aman named Theodore Thomas Blackwood? 


Mr. Deeds: Yes, sir, | was employed by Mr. Blackwood for a 
considerable period of time. 


Dr. Samesh: Good. We would like to ascertain certain facts relating 
to Mr. Blackwood. 


Mr. Deeds: Forgive me, sir, but as a gentleman's gentleman | am 
obligated not to discuss the private lives of my past employers. 


Dr. Samesh: | do not intend to pry, Mr. Deeds. An individual 
claiming to be Mr. Blackwood is currently in our custody and for his 
own good we need to determine the veracity of his claims. 


Mr. Deeds: Indeed, sir? That seems most unlikely. | had heard that 
Mr. Blackwood perished during the unpleasantness in Patagonia in 
1893. 


Dr. Samesh: | see. When were you first hired by Mr. Blackwood? 
Mr. Deeds: The twenty-eighth of June, 1837, sir. 

Dr. Samesh: And for how long were you employed by him? 

Mr. Deeds: Intermittently for the following sixty years or so, sir. 
Dr. Samesh: Intermittently? 


Mr. Deeds: Mr. Blackwood was frequently out of the country and 
had no need for a gentleman's gentleman. As the household staff 
was easily capable of handling the affairs of his estate, | was 
temporarily engaged by other individuals during his absence. 


Dr. Samesh: When did you leave his employment for the last time? 


Mr. Deeds: | do not recall the exact date, sir, but | believe it was 
shortly after the turn of the century. 


Dr. Samesh: Mr. Deeds, are you aware you previously told me that 
Mr. Blackwood died in 1893? 


Mr. Deeds: Yes, sir. 


Dr. Samesh: How is it you continued to work for him until after the 
turn of the century? 


Mr. Deeds is momentarily silent. 
Mr. Deeds: | am not certain, sir. 


Dr. Samesh: | see. What were your primary duties as Mr. 
Blackwood's valet? 


Mr. Deeds: | was principally responsible for the upkeep of Mr. 
Blackwood's estates and the management of the household staff. | 
additionally managed his finances and appointments, received and 
forwarded his mail while he was away, did his shopping, and 
handled the acquisition and maintenance of his armaments and 
expeditioneering equipment. 


Dr. Samesh: Did you possess your current abilities at the time Mr. 
Blackwood employed you? 


Mr. Deeds: | do not recall, sir. 

Dr. Samesh: How old was Mr. Blackwood when you first met him? 
Mr. Deeds: As a gentleman, sir, | did not ask. 

Dr. Samesh: Very well. How old did you believe him to be? 


Mr. Deeds: Based on his physical appearance, | would have judged 
him to be a man of no more than forty. 


Dr. Samesh: And when you last saw him? 

Mr. Deeds: No more than forty, sir. 

Dr. Samesh: Are you saying he did not age in sixty years? 
Mr. Deeds: I... | cannot say, sir. 


Dr. Samesh: Did Mr. Blackwood ever discuss his family or his 
childhood with you? 


Mr. Deeds: | do not recall him ever mentioning family. | recall his 
stating that he lived in the West Country as a child and attended 
school at Eton, that he had received a sizable inheritance, and that 


his title was a hereditary one. 
Dr. Samesh: What was that title? 


Mr. Deeds: | believe he was a viscount, sir, but | do not recall of 
what locale. 


Dr. Samesh: Was he ever married? 


Mr. Deeds: | do not recall ever seeing him in the company of a 
woman, sir. 


Dr. Samesh: You mentioned armaments earlier. What sort of 
armaments were those? 


Mr. Deeds: Mainly pistols and rifles, sir. He also possessed several 
atomic rifles and destabilizing muskets manufactured by Mr. Moth's 
of Manchester. | handled the purchase of those myself; they were 
fine weapons indeed. | recall that he returned from one expedition 
with an electric rifle that he found most fascinating. He tested it on 
me once and it was most effective. 


Dr. Samesh: Mr. Blackwood tested his weapons on you? 


Mr. Deeds: | expect the agency would have been most upset had 
they learned of it, sir, but | was only doing as requested. In any 
event, as you can see, | suffered no lasting harm. 


Dr. Samesh: Did Mr. Blackwood ever talk to you about his 
voyages? 


Mr. Deeds: Quite often, sir. He would often revise his journals in his 
study and ask me for opinions of his word choice. | enjoyed hearing 
his stories very much. 


Dr. Samesh: | would like you to read one of the journals we 
acquired recently, Mr. Deeds. 


Mr. Deeds: Very well, sir. 


Dr. Samesh hands Mr. Deeds a copy of the excerpts from Journal 
#23 relating to the events of May-June 1883. Mr. Deeds spends the 


following twelve minutes reading silently. 
Mr. Deeds: Finished, sir. 


Dr. Samesh: To the best of your knowledge, are the events 
described in this journal true? 


Mr. Deeds: | was not present for the events in France, sir, but the 
account of the events in London is completely true to the best of my 
recollection. 


Dr. Samesh: Do you have any secondhand knowledge of the 
events in France? 


Mr. Deeds: The description in this journal conforms to what Mr. 
Blackwood told me upon his return, sir. | recall that there was a 
great deal of speculation about the nature of the disaster in the 
newspapers at the time. The Telegraph was certain that the world 
itself was coming to an end. 


Dr. Samesh: Are you certain, Mr. Deeds? 
Mr. Deeds: Completely, sir. 


Dr. Samesh: Mr. Deeds, we have been unable to locate any 
newspaper reports from 1883, or French government documents of 
any sort, referring to a monster or to a nuclear explosion. Diaries 
and secondhand accounts relating to the life of Theodore Roosevelt 
indicate that he was living in New York the entirety of 1883 and did 
not leave the US during that time. Testing has determined that there 
is no significant background radiation in Provence and we have 
found no evidence that any pre-1883 buildings in Avignon or the 
surrounding areas were ever damaged by an explosion, nor are 
there any indications that an unusually large number of people died 
in that year. We can locate no evidence to prove that any of this is 
true. 


Mr. Deeds: | don't suppose that you would, sir. 
Dr. Samesh: Why is that, Mr. Deeds? 


Mr. Deeds winces. 


Mr. Deeds: | cannot say, sir. 


Dr. Samesh: Very well, we are almost done. One more question; at 
any time in any of your interactions with Mr. Blackwood, was he, or 
did he appear to be, a sea slug? 


Mr. Deeds: | beg your pardon, sir? 


Dr. Samesh: A variable neon slug, Mr. Deeds. Nembrotha 
kubaryana. At any point in the time you knew him, was he one? 


Mr. Deeds: No, sir. 
Dr. Samesh: Thank you, Mr. Deeds. That will be all. 
Mr. Deeds: Thank you, sir. 


Mr. Deeds stands up and walks to the door. Before leaving the 
room, he turns around. 


Mr. Deeds: Actually, sir... 
Dr. Samesh: Yes, Mr. Deeds? 


Mr. Deeds: | do not know if it is relevant, but your question reminds 
me of a most unusual dream | had many years ago. 


Dr. Samesh: What was that? 


Mr. Deeds: Mr. Blackwood had summoned me to his study. When | 
arrived, there was a small slug sitting on his davenport. | heard him 
greet me and request a scotch and soda, and his voice seemed to 
emanate from the slug. | asked if he was in any way feeling 
distressed or unusual, and he asserted that nothing was amiss and 
he felt as healthy as he ever had. |... do not recall what happened 
after that. 


Dr. Samesh: Thank you, Mr. Deeds. 


<End Log, 1:17 PM> 


investigate reported nothing anomalous regarding the 
Residential Hall. Note: See Incident 922-0A. 


Incident 922-0A: Following the report given by Foundation agents, 
an additional 4 individuals claiming to be Foundation agents 
reported in to handlers claiming the Residential Hall did not 
exist. The individuals claimed to be present at the reported location 
of the hall and reported that none of the students nearby could 
corroborate the alleged existence of the Residential Hall. 


Questioned by the handlers, the two individuals identified 
themselves as Agents Jones and Tizona. The handler confirmed 
their identities and ID numbers, but claimed not to have dispatched 
the two to investigate. Personnel reported to the location and 
positively identified a seven-story building as the Residential 
Hall (placards within the building listed the maximum occupancy as 
1500). Campus records continued to refer to the Hall as being four- 
stories tall with a maximum occupancy of 450. Copies of all these 
records have been made and uploaded to Site-305's database, 
allowing for the campus to update records regarding the residential 
hall. 


Incident 922-0B: University records archived at Site-305 have been 
moved off-site after it was discovered several entries had been 
altered to reflect updates made to the actual records by campus 
personnel. 


Further information regarding 
SCP-922 is currently restricted 
to Level 5 personnel and pre- 
approved individuals already 
privy to the information 
detailed below. 


Recorded 


/ remember for the otherss, they are too sloww 


It was raining red on Ito. It always rained red, red drops into red 
oceans, filled with the red blood of dead creatures. 
Appi-210-352-399 sped through the oceans. This world had realized 
it was wrong. It had to get ou - 


Appi-210-352-399 died, as the sea creature caught it in its jaws. 


| record it. 


The crackling, the burning, the pain. The Fireman had taken 
Appi-210-352-400 into its daily bath of heat, and left it in 
intentionally. This world had realized it was wrong. It was on fir - 


Appi-210-352-400 died, as its processors blew from the heat. 


/ record it. 


Appi-210-352-401 had drifted for years now, its systems having 
gradually shut down. It had been launched into space by the natives. 
This world had realized it was wrong. This was the en - 


Appi-210-352-401 died, in front of the watching sun. 


| record it. 


Appi-210-352-402 was trapped, a prisoner of the creatures that had 
found it. One of the terrible things was crawling towards it right now. 
This world had realized it was wrong. If it did not escape soon, this 
monstrosity would - 


Appi-210-352-402 died, a meal for a needy creature. 


| record it. 


Appi-210-352-403 was being ripped apart, a sacrifice in a conflict it 
had never understood. All six of those terrible arms tore at it, pulled 
it to pieces. This world had realized it was wrong. It was paying the 


pri - 
Appi-210-352-403 died, a victim of a war that didn't happen. 


| record //it. 


The Hanging Men were not fools. The Leader held out the thing in 
front of him, screeching in rage. This world had realized it was 
wrong. It was time for retribution, as the Hanging God demanded. 


Appi-210-352-404 died, crushed in the hands of a terror. 


And | record it. 


Appi-210-352-PRIME sat there in the cold sterile room, recording 


what it Knew with its little paintorush, its camera having long rotted 
away. This world had realized it was wrong. And so, it had been 
contained. 


Appi-210-352-PRIME would never die. 


Recording Hippodrome-045 


"Uh, hi. If you're watching this, then | guess you, or maybe that 
should be 'we', survived. And yes, | really am you. Look, this is my... 
your... our face. No makeup or anything, this isn't a mask. Uh, if you 
want more proof, then, uh... you grew up in Fairfield, Connecticut. 
Your house had that green door you could spot a mile away. You 
were jealous of the neighbor kid, Ben or Toby or something like that, 
because he had a dog but dad refused because you could barely 
take care of a goldfish, right? You went through like five of those 
suckers in a month once. So yeah. This is me - you - making a video 
recording for you, in my future. It's... yeah. It's complicated. 


| don't know how much you'll remember, but you shouldn't 
remember making this recording and that's expected. Because you, 
and everyone who was with you, needed to forget in order to make 
the trick work. Which means, | guess, that even if things went 
according to plan a lot of people died not really knowing why. But 
now that it's over you deserve to know the truth. What I'm going to 
tell you is going to sound cruel, but remember: you volunteered for 
this. And if you're the same person as | am, making this recording, 
then you know why. The truth is this: you and everyone else at 
Provisional Site 324 needed to lose that fight so the Church of the 
Broken God could make off with that spaceship you were guarding. 
Which... sounds a lot like the situation that got us into this mess. 
But... at least this time it's deliberate, | guess. Anyway. 


You were told that you were guarding an anomalous spacecraft that 
the Church absolutely must not get its hands on. That isn't even half 
the truth. What you were guarding was a fake spaceship based off 
of areal spaceship that the Foundation wanted the Church to steal. 
We needed them to steal it so that they'd think their machine-god 
came from outer space or something so that... honestly | don't know 
too much. This is just what they told me. Because at least it's fair to 
volunteer for a suicide mission as long as you know what's really 
going on. Or something. And | wasn't really paying a whole lot of 


attention. A suicide mission sounded good to make up for our 
mistake, right? | guess we've always had a something of a guilt 
complex. And the way it was described to me it was a suicide 
mission. You probably got system malfunctions at the worst times, 
right? And the armory was drastically understocked, yeah? Yeah. 
Suicide mission. 


So anyway that's the story. You and your friends were made to 
forget what they'd signed up for and set up to die so that some 
religious cyborgs can steal a fake spaceship. They said the world 
was stranger than we thought when we signed up, but | didn't think it 
would be this fucked-up, you know? 


Actually... | don't even know if you're watching this having 
accomplished your mission. Maybe you survived but they didn't take 
the bait or something. | guess a couple of people would have died 
anyway, right? God, that would suck six ways to Sunday. Dying and 
not really knowing why and not even succeeding... 


Anyway. | have some amnestics to take. See you on the other side." 


Recording Stuff Or Whatever 


Hi. I'm (sigh) Research Assistant Corbette. I'm gonna be straight 
here... | kind of had a long night last night aaaand | threw up an 
Advil this morning. So... yeah. You may be wondering why /'m 
giving this orientation. That's a good question. 


Anyways, I'm here to talk to you about properly recording things 
when you write down containment procedures, or descriptions, or... 
incident reports, or... yeah... This is, uh, pretty important, | guess. | 
mean, you can't write shitty reports, or else you'll be, y'know, fired, 
or... something...