SCP-3167 Manifestation: SCP-3167 appears in the epilogue, in 
which Monk, believed to be dead by other members of Sigma Force 
following the events of the novel, broadcasts an SOS. The SOS is 
interrupted by Monk describing a figure "Unusually tall, with a big, 
white grin, and a vial of the Judas Strain?, ready for the kill." Sigma 
operatives only hear Monk's death; it is unclear if SCP-3167 exited 
the narrative following this. 


Effects: Monk does not re-appear in any subsequent Sigma Force 
novels, which has startling effects on the status quo of the Sigma 
Force universe; several other members die in the next two novels, 
and by the end of Bloodline, Sigma Force is permanently disbanded 
by President James Gant. Sigma Force novels after this point are 
post-apocalyptic in genre, according to affected readers, depicting 
the schemes of the antagonists routinely succeeding without the 
intervention of the titular team. 


Name of Work: The Fellowship of the Ring 
Series: The Lord of the Rings 

Genre: High Fantasy 

Victim: Gandalf the Grey 


SCP-3167 Manifestation: At the bridge of Knazad-Dum, SCP-3167 
replaces the Balrog, manifesting as "an unusually tall figure with a 
white, flame-wreathed grin", with a flaming whip in place of its 
weapon. Gandalf attempts to hold off SCP-3167 in a manner 
identical to the manner in which he defeated the Balrog in The 
Fellowship of the Ring, but is sliced in half by the whip. Gandalf's 
final words are whispered to Samwise: "He has the eyes of Luthien". 


Effects: Boromir does not die at the end of Fellowship, and instead 
re-appears alongside his brother Faramir in The Two Towers, along 
with Frodo and Samwise. The Battle of Helm's Deep is lost, and 
Saruman maintains his hold over Théoden. Merry and Pippin die 
during the assault on Isengard, with the latter sacrificing himself to 
kill Saruman. Frodo himself dies at the encounter with Shelob, 
leaving Samwise to take the ring to Mount Doom. The quest 
ultimately succeeds, but by the end of The Return of the King, 
Samwise, Aragorn and Legolas are the only living members of the 
Fellowship. Samwise is invited to go into the Grey Havens, but 
declines. 


Name of Work: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire 
Series: Harry Potter 

Genre: Fantasy/Mystery 

Victim: Ron Weasley 


SCP-3167 Manifestation: SCP-3167 suddenly manifests in the 
middle of the Goblet of Fire ceremony, and proceeds to kill Ron with 


the Avada Kedavera, the killing curse, before apparating away. 
Ron's death is not immediate; he manages to drag his way to Harry, 
and whispers, "He said he had your birthday" before dying. 


Effects: The rest of the novel is spent in a state of chaos, with the 
Triwizard Tournament being called off, the shell-shocked Weasley 
family and Harry mourning Ron. Barty Crouch eventually kidnaps 
Harry in order to revive Lord Voldemort. In the process, Harry 
himself is killed, but finds he cannot die, due to having a piece of 
Voldemort's soul exist within him, and vice-versa. Voldemort and 
Harry resolve to kill one another without dying themselves. 


The final three novels in the Harry Potter series are described as 
‘confused, stream-of-consciousness messes' by most readers 
affected by SCP-3167. 


Name of Work: Northern Lights? 
Series: His Dark Materials 
Genre: Young Adult Fantasy 
Victim: Unnamed "gobbler" 


SCP-3167 Manifestation: SCP-3167 manifests during the 
sequence in which the protagonist, Lyra Belacqua, is undergoing an 
‘intercision’, in which her daemon4 Pantalaimon will be separated 
from her, and kills the "gobbler" who is holding Pantaliamon using 
his own deemon, which takes the form of a large boa constrictor. In 
non-anomalous versions of Northern Lights, the sequence is notably 
written in a manner which heavily suggests that handling one's 
deemon without their consent is tantamount to rape. 


Effects: No overall effect on the narrative; Miss Coulter enters the 
room, confused as to why the man holding Pantalaimon has died. 
The rest of the sequence at Bolvangar is uninterrupted, save for a 
portion where a guard enters the room where Miss Coulter and Lyra 
are talking in order to inform her that SCP-3167 has escaped, and 
that a note saying 'I regret doing that' was found at the entrance to 
the intercision room. 


Name of Work: Sword Art Online: Aincrad 
Series: Sword Art Online 
Genre: Japanese Science Fiction Light Novel 


Victim: Unclear. 


SCP-3167 Manifestation: SCP-3167 appears during the climactic 
duel between Kazuto "Kirito" Kirigaya and Kayaba Akihiko's 
Heathcliff avatar in Sword Art Online. It manifests as: 


"The unusually tall player with a horrible, white grin 
raised its massive, pulsing, flashing claymore, ready for 
the kill. It struck the ground of Floor 75, and Sword Art 
Online shut down, ejecting everyone within." 


Effects: The second book of the Sword Art Online Light Novel 
series was unaffected, as its stories took place prior to SCP-3167's 
manifestation. However, all following books take place exclusively in 
the real world, exploring the relationship between Kazuto and Asuna 
Yuki; the attack by SCP-3167 apparently destroyed the internet's 
capability to support a virtual reality video game on the same scale 
as Sword Art Online. 


Name of Work: The Final Problem 
Series: The Sherlock Holmes Canon 
Genre: Mystery 

Victim: Sherlock Holmes 


SCP-3167 Manifestation: Dr. Watson arrives at Reichenbach Falls 
to see SCP-3167 struggling with Holmes. SCP-3167 exclaimed "He 
wants you to die!" before repeatedly stabbing Holmes and throwing 
him down the cliff, before nodding at Watson and vanishing. 


Effects: While all Holmes stories written before The Final Problem 
(as well as Hound of the Baskervilles, which takes place before The 
Final Problem) are unaffected, all future Sherlock Holmes stories are 
impercievable by individuals who read instances of The Final 
Problem altered by SCP-3167, including adaptations of the canon. 


At this point, agent of Pataphysical Task Force Alpha-4 managed to 
intercept SCP-3167 as it attempted to exit the narrative, temporarily 
trapping it in narrative white space, where it was interrogated by 
Agent Caitlyn Next. The transcript of the interview follows: 


Caitlyn walked around the conceptually empty space and 


rolled her shoulders. "We've been chasing after you for 
yonks, you know that?" 


The unusually tall figure 


"Oh, no. Don't try to pull that shit on me. I'm going to take 
control of the narrative every time you try to kill me— my 
metaphorical metafictional dick is bigger than yours. You 
might as well talk." 


The unusu 
"What did | just say?" 


...Bob frowned at Agent Next, his great white grin turning 
into a frown. "I'm not hurting anyone. Nobody real." 


"You've destroyed at least ninety narrative universes in 
the past four years. And look at you! You used ‘frown’ 
twice in the same descriptor. And yes, | can see that, 
and | know you can too." 


"I'm just carrying out the author's wishes. Rowling 
wanted Weasley to die. Doyle hated Holmes at the end. 
Kawahara wishes he had axed SAO a while ago." 


"...what about The Czar's Rain?" 
Bob tilted her head. "What?" 
"Wait, you're a girl?" 


"I'm fictonal. | could be Cthulhu if | wanted to. But nobody 
wants to be Cthulhu." 


"The Czar's Rain. Up and coming fantasy series. You 
entered the first book and killed off the protagonist, sent 
the kingdom spiraling into chaos, and started off a war 
between every color of the divine spectrum." 


"I've not done that, but it seems like a good idea." 


disappearance of the salt. Scales and thermometers that detect 
SCP-402-A's weight and temperature, respectively, can be read 
normally. Items that float in water will appear to levitate when placed 
in SCP-402-A. 


Water rendered imperceptible by SCP-402 can transfer its effects to 
other water — for every unit of SCP-402-A that is introduced to a 
body of water, an adjacent 11,000 units (+ 500) are similarly 
effected. This is perceived as the rapid, spontaneous disappearance 
of the affected water. SCP-402-A does not present any risk of a 
chain reaction; however, due to natural currents, SCP-402 itself can 
create large amounts of antimemetic water very quickly when 
submerged, particularly in moving water. 


Consumption of SCP-402-A presents a serious choking hazard, as 
its presence in the trachea does not trigger the laryngospasm 
responsible for sealing the airway. SCP-402-A's presence in the 
lungs is only detectable via the resultant oxygen deprivation, and is 
typically mistaken for other medical conditions, which prevents 
proper treatment. Safe handling of SCP-402-A can only be 
performed by trained personnel. 


SCP-402-1 is a human, roughly 35 years of age, that was in 
possession of SCP-402 at time of recovery in , Indonesia, as 
well as a plastic jug containing four liters of SCP-402-A. SCP-402-1 
has refused to cooperate or communicate with Foundation 
personnel, and has not been identified. Prior to containment, 
SCP-402-1 would consume SCP-402-A to the exclusion of all other 
liquids,! resulting in the illusion that it did not possess any body 
fluids and giving it a desiccated appearance. This was initially 
mistaken for a property of SCP-402-1 itself, with the true nature of 
its condition (and the anomalous nature of SCP-402) only being 
identified after careful observation. SCP-402-1's appearance 
returned to normal as SCP-402-A was flushed from its system. 


SCP-402-1's blood, when composed of SCP-402-A, possesses 
cognitohazardous effects when consumed in any quantity. Subjects 
will become convinced that any water they encounter is an 
extension of an effectively infinite subterranean body of water, in 
which they risk being trapped should they come into contact with the 
water. This results in severe aquaphobia, as well as a fear of 


"I've got a record of you doing it right he— oh. Oh shit. 
He's in the document. He is in this document. The SCP 
document you are reading right now. Close it. Close it!" 


The unusually tall figure with a horrible, white grin raised 
its backspace key, ready for the kill. 


"GET ME OUT OF HERE!" Agent Next pleaded. "FOR 
THE LOVE OF GOD!" 


"GET ME OUT OF HERE!" Agent Next pleaded. 
"GET ME OUT OF HERE!" Agent Next 

"GET ME OUT 

"GET 


The deed was done; the figure had collected their latest 
kill, and turned a new page in their life. 


Footnotes 

1. i.e.theAlex Crossseries by James Patterson, The Sherlock 
Holmes canon by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, and the collected works 
of J.R.R. Tolkien, respectively. 

2. The titular contagion of the novel, capable of destroying the brain 
at an alarming rate. 

3. Known asThe Golden Compassin the United States. 

4. A physical manifestation of an individual's soul within theHis Dark 
Materialsuniverse. 


SCP-3168: House Chickens 


Item #: SCP-3168 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3168 is to be kept in a 
standard inanimate-object containment locker at Area-12. Research 
proposals involving the use of SCP-3168 must be made in writing to 
site command. Unless required for authorized experimentation or 
study, instances of SCP-3168-1 are to be euthanized by the time 
they are three years old; the remains of instances of SCP-3168-1 
that are not required for experimentation or study are to be 
incinerated. 


Description: SCP-3168 is a Russian matryoshka 7-layer nesting 
doll, which induces anomalous mutations in the offspring of the 
domestic chicken (Gallus gallus domesticus). When a hen [1] mates 
(or is artificially inseminated) while within approximately a 3-meter 
radius of SCP-3168, and then lays fertilized eggs, the fertilized eggs 
will contain instances of SCP-3168-1; this effect will only occur when 
the top halves of SCP-3168's 6 outer layers have been removed and 
the innermost doll is nested within the 6 bottom halves. SCP-3168's 
anomalous mutagenic effect affects only hens, such that semen 
extracted from a rooster[2] within SCP-3168's range will not produce 
anomalous offspring if used to inseminate hens outside its range; as 
well, the anomalous mutagenesis does not persist post-exposure, 
and hens who have previously been exposed to SCP-3168 are 
capable of subsequently producing non-anomalous offspring. 


Instances of SCP-3168-1 are anomalous organisms which resemble 
ambulatory houses on chicken legs; Foundation folklorists have 
noted the similarity to the Russian legend of Baba Yaga.[3]Aside 
from their legs and feet, the organisms are not composed of 
biological matter, but rather of standard architectural materials: 
boards, masonry, nails, etc. Despite their anomalous form and 
composition, instances of SCP-3168-1 follow the standard chicken 


life cycle, hatching from their eggs an average of 21 days after 
fertilization, at which point they are the size of non-anomalous 
newly-hatched chickens; radiographic and ultrasound examination of 
SCP-3168-1 eggs reveal the presence of microscopic architectural 
components as early as 5 days after fertilization. Tissue samples 
from the legs of SCP-3168-1 instances reveal a genetic match to the 
parent chickens, and a sex ratio of approximately 50%. Blood is 
present in the legs; dye tracing indicates that this blood circulates 
from one leg to the other despite the lack of a heart, and despite the 
fact that there is no non-architectural connection between the legs. 
Legs produce heat at a rate sufficient to maintain standard chicken 
body temperature. 


SCP-3168-1 instances will "eat" both standard chicken feed and raw 
architectural materials by sweeping it into themselves with their 
open doors. Isotopic labeling has shown that the chicken feed is 
converted into the lignin of the instances’ woodwork. The 
architectural materials are assimilated into the instances’ structures 
via an unknown mechanism; it is to be noted that these architectural 
materials are typically insufficient to account for the composition of 
the structures, both in quantity and in substance (e.g., instances 
hatched in an aluminum-free environment may nonetheless develop 
aluminum siding), a conclusive indicator of ectoentropic hylogenesis. 


SCP-3168-1 instances are rejected at a rate of 15-25%[4] by hens 
who have not previously raised offspring, and at a rate of 80-90%[4] 
by hens who have previously raised non-anomalous offspring. 


SCP-3168-1 instances emulate the behavior of non-anomalous 
hatchling and juvenile chickens, to the extent that their anomalous 
physiology makes this possible. They are apparently capable of 
sight (despite their lack of any eyes or brain), and can (as is 
standard for birds) imprint on researchers who are present at their 
hatching; they also replicate standard chicken vocalization by rapidly 
opening and closing their doors and windows (although male 
instances have not been observed to crow). 


SCP-3168-1 instances grow at the rate of non-anomalous chickens 
until approximately three and a half years of age, at which point they 
begin to express an anomalous derivative of chicken growth 
hormone (despite the lack of any glands where such a hormone 


could be produced); when purified, this hormone can induce 
ectoentropically rapid growth in non-anomalous chickens and in 
architectural structures.