subjects wealth and power in exchange for cherished personal 
objects; however, the entity possesses no anomalous abilities and, 
as soon as a bargain is struck, will attempt to renegotiate for 
something readily available. 


SCP-3667-1x: Forty-eight kyphotic humanoids approximately 5m in 
height, covered in furs and wearing oversized skulls of a variety of 
tundra animals, primarily moose, deer, and elk. Entities speak Old 
Church Slavonic, but numerous grammatical errors and 
anachronisms indicate a familiarity with modern Russian. They refer 
to themselves collectively as maructpart, or “magistrates.” 


Exploration: 


On 20/03/2012, following the establishment of the Mirny mine 
perimeter and subsequent SCP-3667-1 excursions, exploration of 
SCP-3667 was deemed a priority by Regional Administrator 
Angelina Mikhailova. MTF Chi-5 was mobilized for initial exploration 
on 22/03/2012, and first entry into SCP-3667 occurred on 
23/03/2012. All dialogue has been translated from Russian. 


Exploration Log 3667-A 


Initial exploration is conducted by the four-man 
MTF Chi-5 Team One, selected by random draw. 
Team members are henceforth referred to by their 
designations Anna, Boris, Vasily, and Gregory. All 
are armed with ordnance, including small 
explosives and fragmentation grenades. Video and 
audio feeds are monitored by a temporary 
command station set up within the perimeter of the 
mine, to minimize interference. Mission parameters 
are to conduct preliminary observation of 
SCP-3667's interior and assess its threat level. 


Anna: This is Anna, check, check. 
Boris: Boris, check. 


Vasily: Vasily, check. 


Gregory: Check. Command, do we have 
permission to enter the anomaly? 


Command: You’re all reading fine. Whenever 
you're ready. 


Anna: Safeties off, boys and girls. We already 
know there’s shit down there. 


(As Team One enters the sinkhole, all audio and 
radio contact cuts off for approximately three 
seconds. When it is re-established, the team is 
standing on the floor of a large cave, dimly lit by a 
diffuse, unidentified source. Sounds of running 
water can be heard.) 


Vasily: That felt — not right. 


Command: Team One, we lost contact with you 
there for a few seconds. Can you do a Hume 
check? Standard procedure.? 


(Two minutes of radio silence. There are fainter 
sounds under the noise of the rushing water, but 
these are not readily identifiable and appear to be 
unnoticed by Team One.) 


Anna: Humes okay. 
Command: Vitals look good, too. Carry on. 


Gregory: Probably just the way the portal works 
that brought us here. Stable, Stationary, Unaided, 
Delayed... | don’t remember the rest. 


(Gregory’s camera turns to include the dimensional 
anomaly on this side, which appears as an uneven 
hole in the air with a clear view of the Mirny mine 
interior.) 


Gregory: Thing that flew through Mirny was 
probably drawn to the light. I’d want to get out of 


here, too. 


Boris: Word of caution, these rocks are loose up 
ahead. 


Anna: Noted. 
(Distinct crunching noises can be heard.) 
Gregory: These aren't rocks, they’re — 


Anna: Probably skull fragments from the thing’s 
last victims. Nothing we haven't seen before. 
Command, be advised that judging by sounds, 
we're getting close to moving water. We might 
have to attempt a crossing. 


Command: Understood. 
Vasily: (Sniffs.) Nasty. 


Gregory: Command, please be advised that it 
smells rank in here. I’m gonna... | think it’s coming 
from up ahead. 


(The team approaches the source of the running 
water heard earlier: a wide stream, yellow-grey in 
appearance. The faint noises mentioned before 
appear to be tied to the river, and resolve into a 
number of voices whispering in Russian; however, 
the voices are too layered and indistinct to make 
out individual phrases. Again, Team One does not 
remark on this, appearing preoccupied with the 
river's smell.) 


Vasily: Smells like rotten eggs. (Sniffs.) And... 
blood... and vanilla? 


Command: Vanilla? 


Gregory: No, he’s right. 


(Anna removes a small stone from the riverbank 
and tosses it in. No adverse effects on the stone 
are observed.) 


Anna: River seems okay. Boris, you take point. I'll 
cover from behind. 


Command: Grab a sample of that water, if you 
will. Jars should be in your supply packs. 


Anna: Roger that. Gregory, that’s you. 
Gregory: Dammit. 


Anna: If you smell any other ice-cream flavours 
while you’re down there, just let us know. 


Gregory: Personal. This feels personal. 


Command: Team One, you’re operating on a very 
short clock here. The boys up the hill want you out 
of there by 1500 hours at the latest. 


Anna: Understood, Command. Boris, Vasily, 
you’re with me. Gregory, we'll wait for you on the 
far side. 


(Team members Anna, Boris, and Vasily easily 
traverse the river, which transpires to be only 
ankle-deep. After collecting a sample of fluid, 
Gregory joins them. Unusual clumping patterns are 
observed in the water, which are briefly 
commented upon but ultimately dismissed as low- 
priority.) 


Anna: |’m seeing some... some very uniform 
stones on this side of the river, Command. Can 
anyone else confirm? This might be evidence of 
the remains of... some kind of structure. 


Boris: Vasily? 


Laying new bricks if the structure is composed as such 
Spending significant amounts of time lying motionlessly 
nearby the structure, or within if the damage is prominent 

* Stomping around the structure while scraping at various 
portions of its body, in a rhythmic manner 

Scratching various messages into the undamaged portions of 
the structure (See attached documentation.) 


After a period of time ranging between 3-6 hours, the SCP-474-1 
instance will physically contact the damaged area, and disintegrate. 
Following this, the structure will remain inert for approximately 9 
months, after which it will begin producing instances of SCP-474-1 
and is to be classified as an instance of SCP-474. 


Addendum: Documentation of a SCP-474-1 message, found 
outside a small coffee shop. It was carved into a wall behind the 
building over a period of 4 hours, after which Foundation agents 
moved in to contain it. 


We were always too get, 

Built for each other 

Like bricks on mortar, we rise together 
| sit in your cubby, and dream of tomorrow 
We meld together 

| 

Am 

Born to you as new 

We meld our stone together 

Fill in the cracks 

Be whole with me 


And broken 


Vasily: There’s definitely part of a wall over here. 
Structure confirmed. 


Command: Alright. Can we get any idea of 
possible age, Team One? Does it look occupied? 


Gregory: I’m guessing a hundred, few hundred 
years old. Some of these bricks are disintegrating. 


Vasily: Looks abandoned. We could be dealing 
with some sort of sentient life down here, though, 
Command. Any primers on that? What do we do if 
we make contact? 


Command: You're not cleared for that kind of 
interaction. If anything sentient’s still alive in there, 
we'll send a specialist team another day. For now, 
your mission’s being cut short — | want you to scout 
out the extent of this structure, and then we’re 
bringing you out. 


Anna: There’s what looks like a hallway leading in. 
Let’s make this quick, boys and girls. 


(Team One proceeds down the hallway. Visibility 
quickly diminishes, and team members activate 
helmet lights.) 


Anna: Command, we’ve entered some kind of 
large... circular room. There aren’t any windows, 
but it looks a lot like one of those... church domes 
that let light through.4 There’s just rock at the top 
where a hole should be, though. 


Gregory: Some kind of artwork on the floor here. 


(The chamber’s floor is covered in an elaborate, 
though badly damaged, mosaic appearing to depict 
a variety of anomalous creatures, including some 
resembling SCP-3667-1a, reclining over a system 
of red and yellow rivers. Smaller, humanoid figures 


are also present, but it is unclear what they 
represent.) 


Vasily: Weird. 
Boris: Boys up the hill can handle that. Anna? 


Anna: There’s four hallways leading deeper into 
the structure here, Command. This thing might be 
bigger than | realized. Do you want us to keep 
pushing, or...? 


Command: Do what you can, Anna. Your call. 


Anna: Okay. Let’s do what we can. Team One, 
we're going to split up. Boris, you’re taking tunnel 
number one. Vasily, you’re next. Gregory’s on 
tunnel number three, and I'll take the last one. 
Anything goes wrong, you sound the alarm and we 
all retreat back to the portal. 


Command: Anna, you don’t have to — 


Anna: I’m going to get this thing searched for you, 
Command. Now, | want you watching all of us like 

hawks in there. Tell us the second that shit hits the 
fan. 


Command: Copy that. 


(Team members separate and proceed down their 
designated hallways. All hallways are identical: 
narrow and crudely built.) 


Gregory: Command, | think I’m approaching an 
exit. | feel a breeze. 


(Indistinct noises can be heard in the background 
of Gregory’s feed.) 


Gregory: Command? 


(Gregory’s headlight switches off.) 
Command: Shit. Gregory, come in. 
Anna: Command? What's going on? 


Gregory: (whispering) Still here. Turned off my 
headlight. 


(Indistinct noises.) 


Gregory: (whispering) | think there’s something 
here. 


Command: Gregory, get back to your hallway and 
retreat to the portal. Anna, you too. I’m pulling you 
all out. 


Anna: | see you, Gregory. Stay where you are. 


(Anna’s headlight illuminates a large, spacious 
cavern, with three other entrances spaced evenly 
around the walls. Gregory is observed crouching 
behind an outcropping of rock several meters from 
the nearest entrance, and Vasily and Boris’ 
headlights are visible in the other two entrances, 
proving that all four hallways converge again at this 
point, although the reasons for this are unclear.) 


Gregory: Please, just turn off your lights. 


(Indistinct noises intensify and resemble 
breathing.) 


Gregory: It knows we're here. 


Entity: Yes. Sinners. Foolish creatures. You 
should have stayed in your cages. 


(A large eyeless feline entity, approx. 10m in 
height, approaches from the far end of the cave.) 


Anna: Gregory, get out of there. 
Gregory: | fell down this hill. | can’t get back up. 
(Entity inhales deeply.) 


Entity: You do not have the mark of Ognyena. 
How did you find your way to this place, little 
mortals? You should not be here. 


Command: Anna, take Vasily and Boris and get 
out of there. | don’t want to lose all of you. 


Gregory: No. No. 


(Entity advances toward Gregory, who is seen 
fumbling with his pack.) 


Entity: You do not have the mark. When you die, 
you will not come back. That is good. 


Gregory: Goddammit, Anna, do something! 


(Gregory locates a fragmentation grenade from his 
pack and throws it at the entity.) 


Entity: Shiny baubles will not buy your life. (Entity 
picks up grenade in teeth and swallows.) That will 
be your head next, you foolish — 


(There is a muffled explosion, followed by several 
wet thumps.) 


Command: Anna! Anna, what’s going on? 


(Video feeds show Vasily and Boris have retreated 
to the hallways, while Anna and Gregory's 
cameras are either facing the ground or shaking 
enough to be unobservable.) 


Anna: We're alright. I’m with Gregor now. We’re 
going to need a backup team to pick us up — | think 


he’s twisted an ankle from the fall. 


Command: Where... what’s the status on the 
feline entity? Is there any present danger? 


Anna: Yeah, the cat thing’s here too, but it’s 
missing, uh, most of its head. Your guys might 
want to take a look at it, anyways. 


Command: Oh. 


Anna: Looks like we kind of, uh, communicated 
with sentient entities after all. Sorry about that, 
Command. 


Command: Just — just hang tight, Anna. 
Anna: You bet. 


(MTF Chi-5 Team Two dispatched as backup, and 
all members of Team One recovered without 
further complications. Feline entity classified as 
SCP-3667-1b and portions removed from cadaver 
for further experimentation, although a full autopsy 
was not possible due to the entity’s state upon 
recovery.) 


END LOG 


Update 19/04/2012: Fluid sample from river 
recovered by MTF Chi-5 Team One features 
anomalous molecular structure and bonding sites, 
but will actively bond to organic molecules to 
create a cubic lattice, which accounts for unusual 
ripple patterns encountered during exploration. 
Research ongoing. 


Exploration Log 3667-B 


Following the success of initial SCP-3667 
exploration and the continued reliability of the 
missile systems, a permanent base camp was 
established within the perimeter of the Mirny mine 
to house MTF Chi-5 personnel and to further 
monitor the spatial fluctuations giving rise to the 
anomaly. Exploration resumed on 30/10/2012, 
conducted by MTF Chi-5 Teams Two and Three 
and monitored from base camp. Mission 
parameters are to locate the source of SCP-3667's 
spatial perturbations, and to further map its interior 
(avoiding areas previously reconnoitred by Team 
One). As before, all team members are armed with 
ordnance and small explosives. 


Yelena: Team Two, reporting in. 


Konstantin: Roll call, everybody. We’re here? 
Yes, good. Team Three’s ready as well, 
Command. 


Command: Good morning, everybody. I’m sure 
you've all watched the video transcripts from your 
colleagues in Team One by now, so you know 
what to expect inside there. 


Zhenya: A whole lot of kitten kibble. 
(Laughter.) 


Command: | hope you’ve brought your sleeping 
bags, because you're going to be inside there for 
quite a while longer. Folks up the hill want you to 
find the source of the portal in the first place: | don’t 
know what they want to do with it, but don’t shut it 
down or anything. Team One reported coming 
across a stone structure in their investigation, so if 
you find anything similar that might be a good 
place to start. 


Leonid: Any updates on the monster situation? 


Command: You’re authorized to terminate 
anything you might come across in there. 
Administration doesn’t think you'll be in any 
immediate danger, from what we’ve seen of the 
creatures inside there. They're physically 
intimidating, but they tend to be... squishy. 


Konstantin: Excellent. 
Ivan: How’s Team One holding up? 


Command: Couldn’t be better. From what I’ve 
heard, they should be moved back to camp by the 
end of the week. 


Leonid: You should hear the shit Anna's giving 
poor Gregory. Once his ankle’s healed she'll 
probably break it again, just to teach him a lesson. 


(Laughter.) 


Command: I'll be sure to tell him you wish him 
well. 


(Teams Two and Three successfully enter portal 
and perform Humes test. All readings normal.) 


Yelena: Five o’ clock’s where Team One explored. 
It looks like the cave might widen out at eleven o’ 
clock, so I’d recommend heading that way. 


Konstantin: Sounds good to me. 


Kratkiy: Something in here just doesn’t smell right. 
Anybody else getting that? It’s like — 


Zinaida: Yeah, Team One said the same thing. 
Apparently it comes from the rivers in this place. 


Kratkiy: You know, they were right. It does smell a 


little like vanilla. 


(The exploration team is interrupted by a noise 
resembling a human scream, emanating from 
deeper within the cave. One minute of radio 
silence, during which the noise does not repeat.) 


Leonid: Fucking hell. 
Dmitri: What was that? 


Konstantin: Probably a monster. Leonid, Kratkiy, | 
want you on point. Yelena, put some of your guys 
on cover. 


Yelena: You're going after it? 


Konstantin: You heard what Command said, no? 
We shouldn't be in any immediate danger. 


Yelena: Command, what’s your take on this? 


Command: So far we haven't seen anything non- 
physical or memetic in there, but that’s not to say 
they don’t exist. This call’s for you and Konstantin 
to make, but stay sharp and go slow.