Researcher Inselmann: Ah. I'm good. We'll see if we 
can...sedate the growth. | have a few more questions, if 
you don't mind. 


SCP-3642-A77: Mind if | ask one of you, first? 


Researcher Inselmann: Ask away. If | can answer, | 
will. 


SCP-3642-A77: Will | ever be allowed to leave this 
place? Looking the way | do, knowing what | know? Will 
you ever let me go? 


Researcher Inselmann: Yes, actually. You're one of the 
lucky ones. Testing has indicated that your growths don't 
grow back. We're planning to remove them surgically. 
You'll also be dosed with a drug that affects your long- 
term memory, and returned to your old life. In a week, 
this will all be forgotten. 


SCP-3642-A77: Really? God, that's good to hear. 


Researcher Inselmann: Mind if | ask my questions, 
Margret? 


SCP-3642-A77: Oh, yeah, please, be my guest. 


Researcher Inselmann: Could you go over the 
circumstances that led to you buying the topical cream? 


SCP-3642-A77: Sure. | was running a load of cheap car 
parts from Mexico- I'm a truck driver. | was in Arizona, 
and the damned desert climate kills me. Just absolutely 
kills me. | was born in Canada, you know, my blood is 
too thick for the heat. So whenever | pass through the 
Southwest, | always pick up a big jug of water anda 
bottle of cream, to keep my skin from cracking. | think | 
got them both from a pharmacy in some little po'dunk 
town, couldn't tell you the name. 


Researcher Inselmann: And when you applied the 
cream? 


SCP-3642-A77: Worked really well. Better than most. My 
skin felt great. Looked great, too. Smelled lovely. Like 
some fruity cocktail you'd sip on a beach resort. Whole 
cab smelt like it. | slathered it on two, three times a day. 
On my neck, on my elbows. That's where the dry air gets 
me the worst. Then | noticed- well, you know. 


Researcher Inselmann: It'd be better if you could say 
for the record. 


SCP-3642-A77: Okay. Well. My skin turned weird colors. 
My neck got all glossy and shiny- like wax. Or like the 
leaves that are there now- and turned bluish-green. One 
elbow turned a little darker, sort of pinkish-brown- not 
much different, really. That's where the little bastard 
monkey is now. The other went red and green. Figured | 
was having some sort of weird reaction to the cream. 
Went to the hospital- and a few hours later, you guys 
showed up. Scared me shitless, all you dark-suited G- 
man looking guys showing up. Thought it was some 
heavy contagion thing going on. But then you got me in 
the van and explained things, and sure enough, an hour 
of two later, | started growing a mango on my arm. 
Goddamned weird. Singular experience. Doesn't hurt at 
all. Just...so damned odd. 


Researcher Inselmann: Ha. Yeah, it's an odd one for 
me, as well. 


SCP-3642-A77: ...Really wish | could get rid of that fruity 
smell. 


Footnotes 
1. A Parrot 
2. Woody vines 


SCP-3643: Part 1: ANOMALY IS THE MOST 
DANGEROUS ANIMAL 


Item #: SCP-3643 
Object Class: Keter 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3643 is currently 
uncontained. All personnel assigned to Euclid class objects are to 
remain on high alert for an advance warning from Site-81 of an 
incoming containment breach of their object(s). If the object(s) 
breach containment, these personnel are to follow requirements for 
recontaining their objects. If an "all-clear" arrives from Site-81, then 
the object(s) are to be taken off high alert. 


All personnel stationed at Site-81 are to keep watch for an entity 
matching the description of SCP-3643-1. If one appears, its 
possessions are to be confiscated and analyzed, and it is to be 
contained in a standard Safe object containment chamber until it 
expires. All mentioned personnel at Site-81 are to perform the 
actions stated in their letters. Foundation-operated web analysis bot 
Epsilon-09 ("GRAYSMITH") is to be kept in constant operation and 
checked for defects twice a week by a Level-2 staff member familiar 
with its operation. When functional, the bot will search for mentions 
of the following keywords across the web: "Kephart Corporation", 
"David Fincher", "zodiac", "courier", "SCP Foundation". The 
webpage is to be blocked, archived, and then forwarded to the 
SCP-3643 containment team. 


Description: SCP-3643 is an unknown sapient construct or entity 
who is believed to either be, or more likely masquerading as, the 
uncaptured serial killer known as The Zodiac Killer. According to 
documents sent by SCP-3643, it is in the employ of an organization 
known as Kephart Corporation. There is no record of a corporate 
entity with this name anywhere, with one exception: The official 
members list of American Anomalous Companies Association, an 


organization to which many of the capitalistic anomalies the 
Foundation observes belong. However, other companies on the list 
with which the Foundation has had interactions (TotleighSoft, 
GRENadINES, and others) claim to have never heard of Kephart 
Corporation. 


Since July 4, 2019, exactly fifty years since the second Zodiac 
killing, Foundation entities such as the Overseer Council, RAISA, 
the Ethics Committee, and leadership of Site-19 have received 
letters consistent with those sent by the Zodiac Killer to the Vallejo 
Times-Herald, the San Francisco Chronicle, and The San Francisco 
Examiner fifty years earlier. In these letters, SCP-3643 claims 
responsibility for the civilian attacks and states that it is being paid 
by Kephart Corporation to blackmail the Foundation. It states it will 
accomplish this by causing containment breaches of Euclid Class 
entities unless the Foundation sends "campaine funds" (sic) of 
upwards of 10,000 USD to Kephart Corporation once a week. A 
cryptogram included with the letters, when deciphered, lists a 
number of entities currently under threat as well as a P.O. Box 
address in St. George, Maine where the money should be sent. 
While this particular P.O. Box is nonanomalous, any mail sent there 
by the Foundation vanishes before delivery. 


In addition to the letters mentioned above, a non-sentient entity 
resembling American actor Mark Ruffalo has arrived at the front 
gates of Site-81 bearing the same letters delivered via mail to the 
rest of the Foundation. Biopsy of this entity, referred to as "the 
courier" in the letters and hereafter designated SCP-3643-1, reveals 
that it is composed of DNA with a 99.8% match to Zodiac suspect 
Arthur Leigh Allen, but has nonhuman biology; imaging of the 
interior of SCP-3643-1 reveals a humanoid skeleton surrounded by 
a vacuole-like structure filled with blood. SCP-3643-1, in its time in 
containment, has shown no biological needs and displayed no 
desire to eat, drink, sleep, or relieve itself of waste. Exactly 48 hours 
after it delivers a letter to Site-81, it will explode violently. At the time 
a new letter arrives, it will reappear at the gates of Site-81, 
unharmed. 


Initially, it was decided by Overwatch that the Foundation would not 
follow the instructions listed in the letter and would disregard any 


threats made by the entity. The next day SCP-1972-B breached 
containment, resulting in three deaths, and SCP-105 was found 
unconscious in her chamber clutching SCP-105-B. Shallow, minor 
knife wounds were found across SCP-105's body and it could not be 
determined how SCP-105-B ended up outside its locked safe- 
deposit box. It was therefore decided by the Ethics Committee, who 
initially voted to mail the money against the decision of the O5 
Council, that all instructions in the letters would be followed. 
However, once the requisite sum was mailed three times to the St. 
George P.O. Box with no subsequent containment breaches, the 
letters started only being delivered to Site-81 by SCP-3643-1. Since 
then, all letters have specifically requested actions to be performed 
by staff stationed there. These letters display an unusual knowledge 
of personnel at Site-81. This is the current status of SCP-3643 as of 
March 25th, 2020. 


Addendum-2: This is the letter received by Site-81 on July 18th 
2019. It is consistent with both the letters sent fifty years earlier and 
with the other letters received by the Foundation and was encoded 
in the Zodiac cryptogram. 


Dear Editors 
This is the Zodiac speaking. 


| am very happy with the money you have sent to 
Kephart Corporation but | agree that you are being 
tricksy with your payement and | want something a little 
more entertaineng. Are you haveing a good time with 
this? You might even contain me if you get it right and 
then | won't murder any one anymore 


Tomorrow the 19th of July: 


| want you to order Dr. Manfred to buy a nice car with his 
own money and drive into the middle of woods with Dr. 
Reynolds. Then he should blow his legs out with a 
shotgunn which would be very funney indeed. | want Dr. 
Manfred to perform secxual vioelence for Kephart 
because it feeds the bottom line. Then the people bake 
at the cite need to contain a blackbear from the woods 


so that the woods start to enter the cite. If you do not do 
this | will shoot your scips like | shot those people and i 
want to have a letter sent to 3 School Street, P.O. Box 
131, Tenants Harbor, ME about how much the bear was 
thasing about and how angrey it was plese tell me the 
whole cene because its worth a lot of cash money that 
makes the wallets happy. | want to know the blackbear 
suffered. Make sure that the vioelence stops the moment 
the blackbear is contained and then you can let the 
blackbear out again. The man who sold the sight 
pineapple in a can the last week should be on the radio 
with Dr. Manfred. | know it's easier to give money but this 
is not profitable and you want to avoid a good old 
fashioned murder mystery like David Fincher did. 


To prove it's me. 


In that epasode that David Fincher dicrected in 2007 the 
cop was the Hulk and the Hulk is the one who delivered 
you this letter. Also | entered the cite 17 through the 
guards entrance. There wer 13 Guards. the ethic 
commite were wondering as to how | could unlock + 
release my victoms in the cite. If you bite off the lock with 
your sharp sharp little teeth it just snaps in two and falls 
to the ground. | first let the sphere fly around to find the 
moose whore, and then | went and | slapped around the 
girl who can move photos. None of your MTF police 
noticed me they were too busy playing cards while | 
thumped her on the head and dragged her around. The 
walls of the brekreoom were green and there were about 
10 members of the taskforce and some doctors | didn't 
count them just sitting there in a little circle with their 
cards. | took the photo girl to her bedroom and | hit her 
until she passed out she was real pretty. | thought about 
shooting her with my gun but that would make too much 
noise so | just marked her up with my knife and then bit 
off the lock and gave her the camra as a christmass 
present. 


Now you know that it is me. 


CHEERS 


The operation involving the bear was performed and Dr. Manfred 
and Dr. Reynolds are both undergoing psychological counseling 
following the experience, despite testimony from both that the 
requested sexual violence was faked. Michael Van Doppelmeer, a 
food supplier under contract with Site-81 was amnesticised following 
the procedure. Directly after the operation occurred, another letter 
arrived from SCP-3643 threatening gun violence against retired Site 
Director Jean Karlyle Aktus and active Site Director Hollister Cox as 
well as the release from containment of SCP-173, SCP-3026, and 
SCP-1915 at their respective sites. The instructions in this letter 
were followed. 


Addendum-2: 


The following exchange was recorded between Researcher Sadie 
Louis and Researcher Davey Kurland on January 17th, 2020, as 
they were carrying out the requested "payment" in the latest letter 
(carry ten cheeseburgers down the most driven street in 
Bloomington, Indiana). Both Researchers were miked as per the 
letter. 


<Begin Log>: 


(The two researchers walk in silence for 12 minutes, 
interrupted by only heavy breathing and ambient traffic 
noise.) 


Louis: (Quietly) Murder mystery. 


(Researcher Louis mutters to herself for another two 
minutes. Researcher Kurland is silent.) 


Louis: You know what doesn't make sense about this 
whole thing? 


Kurland: What? 


Louis: Okay, so I'm a huge Jake Gyllenhaal fan, right? 
So I've seen the Zodiac movie like ten times and | 
actually read all the books on the subject because it got 


me really interested and | was realizing. All these weeks, 
we've been playing around with someone who doesn't 
even act like the real Zodiac Killer. 


Kurland: That's actually a fair point. Come to think of it, 
has this guy killed anyone? 


Louis: No! | mean yes, if you count the people the cop- 
bot zapped, but not directly. He just roughed up Iris a bit. 
That stuff in the letter about knocking her out and beating 
her up makes no sense. Apparently she was just in her 
room and she passed out. No damage that was 
apparent. And on another note, this doesn't line up with 
anything we know about the 'real' killer! First off, why 
would the Zodiac be working for a corporation? Why are 
these tasks so bizarre? 


Kurland: Hmm. He hasn't really wanted like a classically 
violent act since the first time. 


Louis: Yeah! Even then it was half-bizarre. And then 
second off, why are we falling for this? We are we being 
so cautious and stupid! Why are we doing what this 
fucker wants? Taking in his little Ruffalo clone and 
figuring out his cryptograms and sending out messages. 
Why even do this? 


Kurland: What | can't figure out are these constant 
references to David Fincher and to "murder mysteries." 
Fincher has no relation to these requests outside his 
movie, and the only murders were fifty years ago! | 
guess there's a mystery but it's ultimately an undramatic 
one. 


Command: Wait, stop you two. There's something 
unusual with your conversation detected in our Memetic 
Hazard Monitoring Software, we need to check that out. 
Hang on just a minute. The damn thing just spiked and 
started beeping like crazy. 


Kurland: Wait, what? 


Louis: Command, | was under the impression that the 
microphones were simply a concession to the demands. 
| wasn't aware you were actually monitoring us. 


Command: Yeah, it's standard. Contrary to what you've 
been discussing, the rest of the organization considers 
this highly dramatic to the point where some in the 
Memetics Department consider the whole thing a bit 
scary and notified us. We didn't notice before you set this 
thing off, which leads us to think we were infected too. 
We're not sure how you too came broke through, but you 
seem to be the first people to have some disbelief about 
the whole thing. The rest is classified, but we haven't just 
been sitting here idly. There's a possibility this is not 
what it seems. Thanks to you too, seems like we might 
have identified something. 


Kurland: Well, you're welcome at any rate. 


Louis: Do we still have to carry these stupid 
cheeseburgers? 


Command: Afraid so, we can't take any chances. 


Louis: So much for "we aren't infected by the meme" 
then, | guess.