SCP-3505-A contents: A photograph of a large pile of 
white powder on a wooden table matching that found in 
Pol-3505-0's house. A cloth blindfold and a photograph 
of the most recent copy of The Pioneer Press were 
placed in front of the pile. 


Initiating message: "That won't work. Please give me 
real cocaine." 

Response: "k" 

SCP-3505-A contents: A small plastic bag containing 
0.3 grams of cocaine cut with venlafaxine. 


Initiating message: "We're out of cocaine." 
Response: "Oh no!!!" 


SCP-3505-A contents: Three damaged USB flash 
drives. Two were empty; the third contained two identical 
recordings of the song "Cocaine" by Eric Clapton. 


Initiating message: "| need 1kg of Uranium-238." 
Response: "No you don't." 

SCP-3505-A contents: 238 scraps of human flesh, 
weighing 1.2kg in total. Several samples were found to 
be contaminated with fecal matter. DNA testing 
inconclusive. 


Initiating message: "Please send me a million dollars." 
Response: "I'm not super liquid right now but | have the 
next best thing" 

SCP-3505-A contents: 60 copies of the Magic: the 
Gathering card "Black Lotus" as it appeared in its "Alpha" 
printing (market value ~$15,000). All were burnt, singed, 
or torn beyond the point of usability. Ashes contained in 
SCP-3505-A could account for up to three additional 
copies. 


Initiating message: "| need another million dollars, in 
cash this time." 

Response: "Told you | don't have cash, here's the next 
best thing though." 

SCP-3505-A contents: A charred human corpse. Its 


DNA shows a match to Taylor, a Los Angeles- 
based entrepreneur native to , Minnesota. Death 
occurred on impact. Notably, Taylor is still alive, 


and his liquid assets are valued at roughly $1,000,000 
USD. 


Initiating message: "Give me one million dollars." 
Response: "k" 

SCP-3505-A contents: Several suitcases containing a 
total of $999,998 worth of assorted valid US currency, 
submerged in sweet and sour sauce. 


Initiating message: "Wash my car." 
Response: "Wash it yourself." 
SCP-3505-A contents: Believed to be roughly 500 liters 


of soap and water in a steel container. SCP-3505-A 
exploded several seconds after impact, apparently from 
the pressure created by the boiling of said water. 


Initiating message: "Help me find a boyfriend." 
Response: "| know a guy." 

SCP-3505-A contents: A piece of white printer paper 
containing a phone number found to belong to 

Graeber, a male acquaintance of Pol-3505-0, printed in 
black ink. While Graeber was not in a relationship at 
time of testing, his and the test subject's sexual 
orientations were incompatible. 


Initiating message: "Help me find a boyfriend." 
Response: "| know another guy." 

SCP-3505-A contents: A charred human corpse. Its 
DNA shows a match to Taylor. Death occurred on 
impact. 


Initiating message: "Help me find a boyfriend." 
Response: "Hold on." 

SCP-3505-A contents: A piece of white printer paper 
containing a valid, but unassigned, phone number 
printed in black ink. 


Initiating message: "Tell me who you are." 

Response: "..." 

SCP-3505-A contents: A piece of white printer paper 
with "F" handwritten in blue ink. Handwriting is consistent 
with that of Pol-3505-0. 


Initiating message: "Tell me who you are." 
Response: "..." 

SCP-3505-A contents: A piece of white printer paper 
with "U" handwritten in blue ink. Handwriting is 
consistent with that of Pol-3505-0. 


Initiating message: "Tell me who you are." 
Response: "..." 

SCP-3505-A contents: A piece of white printer paper 
with "C" handwritten in blue ink. Handwriting is 


consistent with that of Pol-3505-0. 


Initiating message: "Teach me how to do what you do." 
Response: "Trust me, you don't want my job." 
SCP-3505-A contents: A map of the continental United 
States, with driving instructions handwritten on the back 
in blue ink. The instructions detail a path from Outpost 
7949-2 to a SuperAmerica gas station in : 
Minnesota. Pol-3505-0 worked at a neighboring 
SuperAmerica gas station from June 2013 to August 
2013. 


Initiating message: "| need something that breaks the 
laws of physics." 

Response: "Gimme a sec" 

SCP-3505-A contents: A plastic bag of unidentified blue 
powder that, immediately upon opening, fell out into the 
sky. Believed to possess anti-gravitational properties. 


Initiating message: "| need something that breaks the 
laws of physics and will stay still." 

Response: "k" 

SCP-3505-A contents: An object identical to SCP-3505, 
except without SCP-3505's anomalous properties and 
with the property that its position relative to Earth is fixed 
at the site of impact. 


Initiating message: "Kiss me through the phone." 
Response: "Weird but okay" 

SCP-3505-A contents: A non-functional cell phone 
identical to the one used by the test subject, with the 
exception of a pair of living human lips integrated into the 
phone's screen. The computer-to-neuron interface was 
heavily damaged by heat, preventing further study. DNA 
testing inconclusive. 


Initiating message: "Surprise me." 

Response: "w/e" 

SCP-3505-A contents: A single blue crayon, broken in 
half. Shortly prior to impact, SCP-3505-A abruptly 
changed directions, coming within two meters of the 


subject before reversing its path and landing in the 
Original projected impact site. 


Initiating message: "Help me." 

Response: "| got u" 

SCP-3505-A contents: An active electromagnetic pulse 
weapon that triggered on impact, disabling all electronic 
devices within ~80 meters, including Researcher Stein's 
pacemaker. While most available personnel were 
preoccupied with assisting Researcher Stein, the test 
subject attempted (unsuccessfully) to escape the 
premises. 


Initiating message: "Please come home." 

Response: "I'll be back at 7." 

SCP-3505-A contents: N/A. No activity occurred for four 
hours; at about 5:48 PM local time, Pol-3505-0 began to 
accelerate towards Outpost 7949-2 at about 10m/s2, 
reaching a maximum velocity of about 50m/s. Death 
likely occurred within the first fifteen seconds during a 
collision with a wall. The subject's body was observed to 
break through obstacles in its path without slowing down, 
as well as move up or down as necessary to avoid 
impacting any humans. The subject's body traveled 216 
kilometers, colliding with a hill near Outpost 7949-2 at 
7:00:00 PM local time and coming to rest. The corpse 
displayed no unusual properties. 


Footnotes 

1. It has not been conclusively established whether these responses 
are generated by a sapient entity. 

2. The older brother of | Hanson. 


SCP-3506: The Reading of the Will 


Item #: SCP-3506 
Object Class: Keter 


Special Containment Procedures: Satellite imagery is to be 
routinely monitored by Foundation-operated web analysis bot 
Upsilon-29 ("BULWER-LYTTON") for spontaneous architectural 
manifestation. Upsilon-29 and Foundation agents embedded in 
various postal services are to destroy any correspondences 
suspected to be from SCP-3506-A. 


If a structure is confirmed to be an SCP-3506 manifestation, Mobile 
Task Force Mu-101 ("House Hunters") is to establish a perimeter 
around the affected area and prevent access to it by civilians and 
SCP-3506-B subjects. 


Description: SCP-3506 is an anomalous global phenomenon 
primarily characterized by the spontaneous manifestation of 
residential buildings. The appearance of these structures varies 
depending on the architectural norms of the cultural setting in which 
they manifest; however, all instances generally give an impression 
of dilapidated opulence. 


Manifestations of SCP-3506 structures typically last around 30 days, 
and cease after the conclusion of a Clifford Event (described below). 
If any living person other than a subdesignated SCP-3506 entity 
attempts to approach an SCP-3506 structure, local topography will 
be anomalously altered to redirect the individual back the way they 
came. 


SCP-3506-A is a humanoid entity associated with SCP-3506 
manifestations. SCP-3506-A assumes different identities depending 
on the culture in which it is manifesting, but always claims to be a 


heckling him regarding the treatment of slaves in ,a 
Roman city. Three (3) minutes into her speech, 21-servant-A, 
-B, and -C will forcibly remove 21-activist and assault her with 
their improvised weaponry. She will be left for dead at the side 
of the main club room at 2259 hrs, and should be taken to 
triage immediately. 


At 2321 hrs, 21-assassin-A will approach 21-senator, produce 
a bladed weapon, and attack him. 21-servants-C, -D, -E, and - 
F will respond immediately, disabling and killing 21-assassin- 
A. No intervention has, as yet, been able to prevent this. 


At 2345 hrs, 21-assassin-B will incite a bar fight in a gaggle of 
civilians along the Easternmost wall of the club. Four (4) 
minutes after starting the commotion, 21-assassin-B will stab 
21-servants-A, -B, -D, -F, -J, -K, and -M, running rapidly 
through the brawl towards 21-senator. 21-servants-B, -F, and 
-K can be immediately removed as they will be on the edge of 
the escalating brawl, and should be taken to triage 
immediately. 21-servant-A can be removed at 2356 hrs, as the 
crowd moves away, but should be treated for trampling as 
well. 21-servants-D, -J, and -M will not be retrievable until 
0010 hrs, and must receive immediate top-priority attention or 
die (see Document 453-s21-med). 


At 2350 hrs, 21-assassin-B reaches 21-senator and engages 
in combat with 21-servant-C. Both receive critical injuries as 
21-senator attempts to escape. 21-assassin-B finally disables 
21-servant-C and charges at 21-senator at 2353 hrs, stabbing 
him in the neck. Any attempts to recover 21-senator or 21- 
servant-C have met with further violence and casualties from 
21-assassin-B, and should not be attempted. 


From 2355 to 0115 hrs, the bar brawl continues to escalate. A 
full list of injuries and possible civilian recovery times is 
attached in Document 453-s21-med, although no further fatal 
injuries will be experienced. 


At 0119 hrs, nineteen (19) civilians (21-vigiles-A through -S) 
will enter SCP-453, all armed with improvised weapons and 
shields, and subdue the crowd using tactics believed to be 


legal professional who specializes in managing clients’ affairs after 
their death. 


In the weeks leading up to a Clifford Event, SCP-3506-A will contact 
various citizens of the country it presently occupies and claim that a 
distant, wealthy relative has left them a large sum of money. Forged 
documents are often provided via electronic or physical mail to 
corroborate these claims. SCP-3506-A will enter a dormant state 
after it has persuaded 12 individuals (hereafter referred to as 
SCP-3506-B) to participate in a Clifford Event. 


During a Clifford Event, SCP-3506-B subjects gather at the 
SCP-3506 residence, ostensibly to hear the last will and testament 
of their fictitious relative. SCP-3506-A, acting as the executor, will 
then explain that SCP-3506-B subjects must remain in the house 
until the following morning in order to receive their inheritance. 
Furthermore, any who leave before sunrise will have their 
inheritance evenly distributed among the remaining participants. 


At this time, an anomalous storm will begin to form around the 
property. SCP-3506-B subjects may successfully withdraw from a 
Clifford Event if they leave before sunset; after nightfall, the storm 
will drastically worsen and topology of the surrounding landscape 
will be anomalously altered to cause severe flooding. No SCP-3506- 
B subjects have survived an attempt to leave a Clifford Event after 
sunset. 


SCP-3506-C are additional humanoid entities that manifest during 
Clifford Events. The alleged identities of SCP-3506-C instances 
vary, but always involve a role related to the maintenance of the 
SCP-3506 residence and its surrounding property. SCP-3506-C are 
generally helpful toward SCP-3506-B subjects, but will occasionally 
make remarks or display mannerisms which seem intended to 
provoke feelings of unease. 


SCP-3506-D is a cloaked humanoid entity of inconsistent height 
which manifests between the hours of 12 and 6 AM during Clifford 
Events. Throughout this period, SCP-3506-D will intermittently stalk, 
mutilate, and kill SCP-3506-B subjects in a variety of ways. 
SCP-3506-D often uses the remains of its initial victim to construct a 
graphic tableau, presumably to intimidate surviving subjects. 


SCP-3506-D does not speak, but occasionally makes vocalizations 
such as laughter and whistling. 


To date, no SCP-3506-B subjects have survived a Clifford Event 
after sundown, and it is therefore unknown if any inheritable wealth 
described by SCP-3506-A actually exists. 


Addendum: On 19/02/2018, Foundation researchers successfully 
obtained an audio recording of a Clifford Event via listening devices 
planted on SCP-3506-B subjects. The following is a transcript of a 
notable conversation taken from these recordings. 


Foreword: Conversation between SCP-3506-B (Robert 
Bentley) and SCP-3506-C instance at 3:06 AM. Five 
subjects had been murdered by SCP-3506-D prior to this 
point. Context for certain events was extrapolated from 
subsequent comments by SCP-3506-B subjects who 
discovered the scene. 


[Begin Log] 

Bentley: Well, hello again. Trifles, was it? 
SCP-3506-C: Triffles, sir. 

Bentley: Right. Triffles the cook. 


SCP-3506-C: What are you doing in my kitchen, if | may 
ask? 


Bentley pulls a carving knife from a nearby knife block. 


Bentley: There's a killer on the loose. Better defend 
myself, right? 


SCP-3506-C: Y-yes, | suppose so, sir. But | must say, | 
rather doubt a knife will be of any use against the 
master, seeing as he's no longer entirely of this world. 


Bentley: Perhaps. But he's not my concern at the 
moment. 


Bentley drives the knife into SCP-3506-C’'s leg, then flips 
over a table and uses it to pin down SCP-3506-C. 


SCP-3506-C: Sir! Why me, sir? | haven't done nothing! 


Bentley: | highly doubt that. Someone lured us out here. 
I'd wager you know something about that. 


SCP-3506-C: Please, sir! | don't know anything! I'm only 
the cook! 


Bentley: Then how come none of the staff have died 
yet? 


SCP-3506-C whimpers. Bentley picks up a nearby 
butcher's knife and cuts off two of SCP-3506-C's fingers. 
SCP-3506-C screams. 


Bentley: I'm not fucking around here, Triffles. 


SCP-3506-C: Help! Somebody help me! He's trying to kill 
me! 


Bentley: Yes, keep that up. I'm sure everyone will 
happily come flocking to the scene of another murder— 
and | wil/kill you, Triffles, if you don't start talking right 
fucking now. 


SCP-3506-C: (Quietly) Please, sir. Please stop. | mustn't 
break character. 


Bentley: Break character? Break character? 
SCP-3506-C: (Weeping) Sir, please. Sir. 


Bentley: Tell me what the fuck is happening! Do you 
want to lose another finger? 


SCP-3506-C: Stop! It's... it's immersive theater, sir. 
Please, don't— 


Bentley: Theater? What's the point in putting on a show 


if you're going to kill your fucking audience? 
SCP-3506-C: (Unintelligible.) 


Bentley cuts off another of SCP-3506-C's fingers. 
SCP-3506-C screams again. 


Bentley: Answer the fucking question! 
SCP-3506-C: | said, you're not the audience! 
[End Log] 


Afterword: Following this exchange, SCP-3506-D 
materialized, disemboweled SCP-3506-B, and force-fed 
the intestines to the involved SCP-3506-C instance until 
it apparently expired from asphyxiation. This is the only 
known occurrence of SCP-3506-D committing violence 
against an SCP-3506-C entity. 


SCP-3508: "Cute and soft! Kill them off!" 


Item #: SCP-3508 
Object Class: Safe Keter