Addendum: While SCP-424 is more than willing to take suggestions 
for shapes to imitate, it should be noted that it is not human, and is 
not likely to respond as such to physical gestures of intimacy. This is 
to be considered a general warning to resident staff, and disregard 
of such is grounds for transfer to facility [INSUFFICIENT SECURITY 
CLEARANCE] for immediate reassignment. 


Addendum: Should SCP-424 become still or hidden enough to be 
unable to locate, it may be called by number, or enticed into view by 
offering it something to mimic (moreso if it is something that hasn’t 
been mimicked yet). Other methods are not generally 
recommended. 


Addendum: Movies of the “horror” genre have been removed from 
recreational equipment storage cabinets, in regard to SCP-424’s 
reaction to the August, 2005 screening of “Aliens.” All ductwork is to 


SCP-3307: Cornucopi-ass 


Item #: SCP-3307 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3307 is to be contained in 
a standard humanoid containment cell, currently in Site-17. The 
containment chamber for SCP-3307 is modified to allow for transport 
and disposal of produced materials through a garbage chute 
installed on a wall. In order to limit production of unwanted materials, 
personnel are to avoid line-of-sight with SCP-3307 when outside of 
a testing environment. If transportation is necessary, SCP-3307 
must be rendered unconscious, or otherwise made unable to detect 
the presence of any personnel interacting with it. Food items 
produced by SCP-3307 outside of a testing environment are to be 
confiscated and destroyed immediately. 


Description: SCP-3307, formerly known as Agent J. ,isa 
human male roughly 32 years of age. SCP-3307 has no abnormal 
outward characteristics, and is physically healthy. However, when in 
the presence of any other human', SCP-3307 will begin to produce 
food or drink inside its body, which is expelled by vomiting or 
defecation. This food forms in the stomach via an unknown process, 
and travels up the esophagus, or down the intestines, depending on 
the type of material created. This process does not cause SCP-3307 
any physical distress, as SCP-3307's internal organs appear to be 
able to expand to allow harmless transport of materials, but can 
cause significant psychological distress, as SCP-3307 experiences 
trouble breathing while expelling food through the mouth. Since 
recovery, SCP-3307 has not felt the need to eat, and has been 
unable to stomach any food it has been given. 


Food items produced by SCP-3307 are edible, and have roughly the 
same nutritional value as a normal food item would. SCP-3307 is 
able to produce virtually any food, or combination of foods; the type 
of food or drink created appears to depend on the individual 


SCP-3307 has been exposed to, and is almost always identified by 
the individual as a ‘comfort food’ or ‘favorite food’. Solid food items 
are expelled through the mouth, or anus in some instances. Liquid 
food items are most often expelled in a manner similar to urination. 
Due to the method by which food and drink items are produced, 
most individuals report feeling disgusted by the process, and will not 
willingly consume produced items. If exposed to multiple individuals 
at the same time, food production will begin in order of which 
individual was perceived first. 


SCP-3307 was recovered following a field mission on 11/23/ 2 
during which members of MTF Theta-90 ("Angle Grinders") were 
exposed to a Class 2 spatial anomaly. Agent J. was, for 
approximately 30 minutes, missing in action, having reportedly lost 
contact with the rest of his team after being pulled into the spatial 
anomaly. Following this, Agent was ejected, unharmed, along 
with what appears to be a decorative plastic cornucopia, which has 
since been confiscated. After recovery of Agent , and 
subsequent discovery of anomalous effects, Agent was 
designated SCP-3307, and contained. 


+ Show Testing Log 3307-14B 
Date: 3/13/ 
Personnel Tested: D-14892 and D-14873 


Note: D-14892 was equipped with a cellular 
phone modified to only receive text messages 
from Dr. Reynard, who was observing via 
security camera placed in SCP-3307's 
containment chamber. SCP-3307 was initially 
unwilling to cooperate, and suffered mild 
psychological distress during and following the 
interview. 


<Begin Log> 


(D-14892 and 14873 enter SCP-3307's 
containment chamber. SCP-3307 is sitting at a 


table, with two plates, two glasses, and cutlery. 
SCP-3307 has closed its eyes, and covered its 
ears.) 


D-14873: So... are we having lunch? Who's 
this guy? 


D-14892: Beats me, | didn't see any- (a 
message is delivered to D-14892.) Hold on, 
they're sending me something. 


(The message reads: Approach SCP-3307. 
Make sure it hears you. D-14892 conveys this 
message to D-14873.) 


D-14873: Okay then? (Loudly) Hey, you hear 
us? 


SCP-3307: (Shaking its head.) Shit. God 
fucking d- (SCP-3307 begins to dry heave. D- 
14892 and 14873 back away quickly.) 


D-14892: What the fuck?! Are you okay, man? 


SCP-3307: No, you fucking jackasses, I'm- 
(SCP-3307 expels a small amount of mashed 
potatoes onto one of the plates, and begins to 
leak gravy from its nostrils. Both of these are 
extremely runny, due to coming in contact with 
saliva and mucous from SCP-3307.) 


D-14873: Oh god, what the hell?! What is that 
shit? 


SCP-3307: (Continues to expel mashed 
potatoes for one minute, before abruptly 
straightening up.) Mashed fucking potatoes. 
(Points angrily to D-14873.) This is your 
goddamn favorite food. What else? 


D-14873: What are you talking ab- 


SCP-3307: (Loudly) What else is your favorite 
food? | can feel it- (SCP-3307 straightens up 
again.) 


D-14873: ...My grandma used to make me 
mashed potatoes, and we'd have them with 
chicken legs- 


(SCP-3307 begins to defecate two fried 
chicken legs, taking roughly one minute to 
complete. Following this, it places the chicken 
legs on the same plate as the mashed 
potatoes.) 


D-14892: (Yelling) What the fuck!? Let us out 
of here! 


D-14873: (Pounds on the door.) What the fuck 
did you put us in here with?! 


Dr. Reynard (Via text message): Please 
remain calm. Return to the table and wait until 
SCP-3307 has finished expelling food. 


SCP-3307: (Expels cherry cola into the first 
glass, and gestures to D-14892.) Alright, 
you're next. Let's just get this over with. What 
is it? 


D-14892: C-cookie cake and beer? 


SCP-3307: This isn't going to end well. 
(Begins to dry heave.) 


D-14892: Oh, fuck no! 


(Over the course of the next three minutes, 
SCP-3307 vomits a large slice of cookie cake, 
which is crumpled, and covered with icing, and 
produces beer from its nose. These are placed 
onto the other plate, and into the second cup, 
respectively. D-14892 and 14873 begin to 


panic, but calm down once the process has 
completed. There is a short pause.) 


D-14873: What the fuck happened to you? 


SCP-3307: (Gestures to the food items on the 
plates.) Whenever | see or hear someone, this 
happens. Bon fucking appetit. 


D-14892: Why? That's fucked up. 


SCP-3307: | was on a mission, and | slipped 
up. Ended up falling into some kind of... Rip in 
space. Few minutes later, here | am. No idea 
how this happened. All | remember is seeing... 
something. In some sort of fucked up, alien 
way, | think it meant to give us some sort of 
gift. Happy Thanksgiving, | guess. 


(There is a pause.) 


D-14873: They don't expect us to eat this shit, 
do they? 


<End Log> 


Afterword: Following this, D-14892 and 
D-14873 were allowed to leave the 
containment chamber. Both were emotionally 
distressed, and were suspicious of any food 
given to them for roughly two days. Further 
interviews regarding SCP-3307's perception of 
its intended purpose may take place in the 
future. Food items created during the duration 
of this test were disposed of by use of the 
garbage chute. 


Footnotes 

1. This appears to be dependent on whether or not SCP-3307 can 
observe an individual. If unaware of an individual's presence, the 
process will not begin. 


2. This day was Thanksgiving day in America on that year. 


SCP-3308: Crooked Excavator 


Item #: SCP-3308 
Object Class: Keter 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3308 is currently housed 
within Hangar 91, a unit specially constructed by the Foundation on 
the face of Mount Mitchell, part of the Appalachian mountain range 
in the area of Yancey County, North Carolina. Despite the angle of 
the slope, the compound maintains level balance using a large 
mechanical platform and swivel joint at its base, able to be remotely 
controlled by staff at Site 104. The edifice has been deemed off 
limits to civilians under the guise of a top secret testing facility. 


The object therein is to remain hung 3 meters above the ground by 
steel suspension cables. In the case of a breach of the cables by 
way of a shift in mass, SCP-3308 will drop onto a hydraulic ramp 
stationed directly below it, which will restabilize it at the appropriate 
angle upon being weight-triggered by impact with SCP-3308. Should 
the object breach this failsafe, Hangar 91 is to be remotely tilted to a 
parallel angle with the slope of Mount Mitchell, during which time 
MTF Gamma-27 ("Protractors") will swiftly secure the object via 
helicopter and transport it to the next designated site. New location 
will be divulged by Site 104 advisor, Dr. Seidel. 


Note from Dr. Seidel regarding containment 
procedures: 


It is imperative that our MTF unit secure SCP-3308 in a 
new facility as quickly as humanly possible. | don't want 
to even think about the monumental problems that will 
arise if this thing manages to break through a damn 
mountain. 


- Dr. Seidel 


Description: SCP-3308 is a Caterpillar 930g hydraulic front end 
loader. The excavator shows typical wear and tear for a machine of 
its grade, most use being exhibited by the bucket and front and rear 
tires. Inspection of the cab reveals customary operating controls, 
including a lockout-tagout mechanism securely fastened into the 
ignition, preventing the machine from being turned on and run 
normally. All attempts at removing the lock and tag have thus far 
failed. Though currently inoperable, researchers familiar with the 
particular model of SCP-3308 estimate its net flywheel power 
somewhere in the range of 110 kW at 2300 RPM. Additionally, 
notwithstanding one of the machine's abnormal properties, the 
object's weight is approximated at 13,000 kg. 


SCP-3308 exhibits its main anomalous quality when coming in 
contact with a flat surface. Upon the object touching down, the 
landscape will tilt to exactly 45°, causing all unsecured entities 
around it to begin sliding or tumbling in the direction of the incline. In 
some cases, SCP-3308 can skew the terrain to 135°, thus reversing 
the slope's direction. The object will remain completely undisturbed 
throughout this phenomenon, not succumbing in any way to the 
sudden change in gradient. The exact zone of effect impacted by 
SCP-3308 during this event is not currently measurable (See 
incident described in Addendum 3308-A). 


Research indicates that SCP-3308 will cease its anomalous effect 
anytime it itself is tilted to at least a 45° or 135° angle in relation to 
its immediate surroundings. Testing further proves that the same 
cessation of effect occurs when SCP-3308 is suspended in midair. 
When restrained in the aforementioned manners, however, 
SCP-3308 can gradually increase its own density until it is too heavy 
to support. Materials such as steel cables or industrial strength 
cargo restraints eventually snap or rupture under the object's 
immense weight. Even hydraulic ramps able to support over 

45,000 kg will eventually cave under SCP-3308 in this capacity. The 
rate at which SCP-3308 accumulates the required mass is 
unpredictable, thus far ranging anywhere from several minutes to 
just under 3 days. It is of note, however, that SCP-3308 will 
immediately take on its original projected weight (approximately 
13,000 kg) upon breaking contact with any of these inhibitors. The 
process then repeats if another restraint is put in place. 


Addendum 3308-A: SCP-3308 was first discovered following a 
headline regarding a massive traffic accident on the __ interstate 
freeway running through the area of , North Carolina. Aerial 
footage of the aftermath relayed by news choppers shows hundreds 
of vehicles piled up at the bottom of what appears to be an 
enormous bevel descending in the direction of Northbound traffic 
and extending for over [DATA EXPUNGED]. Several small 
surrounding neighborhoods and back roads have also been 
damaged by the enormous terrestrial shift, ultimately resulting in 
total confirmed casualties. Subsequent to emergency response 
teams extricating survivors, those interviewed about the incident 
frequently describe the highway as "becoming a ski slope while they 
were driving". 


SCP-3308, apparently unaffected by the event from earlier, is 
dicovered during cleanup parked on a meridian near what appears 
to be a disused construction zone. Crews having been tasked with 
clearing all vehicles out of the area attempt to remove the object 
with a tow truck. Seconds after the rig raises the front wheels of 
SCP-3308 off the ground, the terrain rapidly flattens out, 
spontaneously dematerializing the slope.! Field operatives 
witnessing this deemed it necessary to amnesticize all survivors, 
emergency crews and news bureaus witnessing the phenomena 
relating to SCP-3308. After confiscating all footage of the event, 
cover stories relating to a terrorist bombing are fabricated in order to 
explain the devastation. Foundation personnel posing as bomb 
squads remove SCP-3308, claiming the object to be hooked to 
explosives as part of the same attack. Difficulty in initial transport of 
the object immediately necessitates production of a special holding 
facility. 


Addendum 3308-B: Shown below is the transcript of a note 
discovered subsequent to acquisition of SCP-3308. The note was 
found attached to the lock and tag mechanism inside the cab written 
in black felt tip marker: 


Show note 
Kenny, 


Don't use this machine until | can get the 


damn parking brake unstuck. Thanks. 
Jim 


Exploration into the identities of the two names mentioned on the 
note has thus far turned up negative results. Research into possible 
anomalies associated with the parking brake built into SCP-3308 is 
currently pending approval. 


Footnotes 

1. It is theorized that the tow truck managed to tilt SCP-3308 to a 
minimum of 45° while lifting it, thus temporarily negating its effect on 
the environment. 


be examined for any possible accidental fragments of SCP-424’s 
main mass. 


Relevant Files: ARCHIVE C-424: FILES 1~10 
« SCP-423 | SCP-424 | SCP-425 » 


SCP-3309: Where We Go When We Fade, Fade Away 


Narrativic inoculation disseminated. 


Sometimes we don't fade until it's too late. 


Until we've withered, withered, down to the bone. And at the 
end, there's nothing left to fade. It's forgotten. Memories, hopes, 
dreams, we're forgotten. How do we know that people can even 

have these memories, these hopes, these dreams? How can 
we be forgotten if there was nothing there in the first place? We 
fade from the minds of others, but not from our own. We live 
with it until we can't live any longer. Until we forget that there 
was ever any way we could live in peace. And then, that's when 
we fade away. 


Fade, fade away. 


Inoculation complete. You may proceed. 


Item #: SCP-3309 


Object Class: Keter