All the formal stuff and the manuals are there. 
You'll read them eight times without me 
needing to tell you. Oh man, the culture shock. 
Most of you aren't from the Southern 
Hemisphere. We do things different. Yeah, 
read the manuals. Then close those and listen 
to me. 


You're going to be in that tower soon. Exciting, 
right? They tell me people ask to be here. 
You're going to read the manuals no matter 
what | tell you, so you're going to be on your 
guard, so much that you think you'll never let it 
down again. 


Bullshit. One day, and it's going to be soon, | 
promise you, you're going to think "hey, that 
one's a pretty good idea, bring that one out, 
man." | Know you are. It happens a lot. It 
happened to me on the top floor. | thought | 
knew better than this madhouse that we all 
were so smitten by. | told everyone that we 
needed to save something from here. We 
should pull it back out | said, this is just too 
beautiful. And it was. We all dropped to our 
knees to see it, even after it started doing what 
it did. 


When it was over, | ran as fast as | could into 
the night to find anyone that could help us put 
things back. There was a lot to clean up. 


Here's your first order, don't ask about the 
other Barqueros, from before this was an 
official outfit. There's eight of us left from the 
top floor thing. There were a lot more before. 


Here's your other first order. You leave that 


shit in the tower. Every single thing you see in 
there is a painted corpse. That's because it's a 
grave. All of it stays in there to rot and die, no 
matter what, or | put the bullet in your head 
myself. | look out for my people, and you're 
one of mine now. 


Welcome aboard, Barquero. 
ROJAS 


Footnotes 

1. Despite its intended purpose as a regional financial center 
planned by the Argentine government in the 1970s, Ciudad 
Encrucijada was never fully inhabited, and was abandoned soon 
after construction of the city center was completed. The Argentinian 
Ministry of Modernization reported a population of zero for Ciudad 
Encrucijada in 1978. 

2. Note that mainstream Sikhism holds that only eleven Gurus exist. 
3. Though unconfirmed, these methods are believed to be derived 
from those used in the creation ofSCP-1984-1. 


« SCP-2302 | SCP-2303 | SCP-2304 » 


SCP-2304: Automatron 


The above-ground portion of SCP-2304. 


Item #: SCP-2304 
Object Class: Euclid Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2304 is unable to be 
moved from its current location, and therefore is contained on-site. 
SCP-2304-1, -2, and -3 are to be monitored at all times by a team of 
3 security personnel, rotated every 12 hours. SCP-2304-4 is to be 
housed in a medium dwelling located in the cranial section of 
SCP-2304, and is allowed the use of anti-depression medication. 


A bottle of pre-approved alcohol is to be provided through 
anonymous means to SCP-2304-4 on a monthly basis. Under no 
circumstances are personnel to reveal the origin of these items to 
SCP-2304-4. 


Description: SCP-2304 is a humanoid structure partially buried 
underground, located in , Norway. SCP-2304's entrance is the 
only part of the structure that remains above ground. The entrance 
resembles a dilapidated silo, covered in graffiti styled to give the 
appearance of a facial profile. The door to the interior is made of 
metal, and has a peephole and knocker installed. Looking through 
the peephole will reveal the landscape behind the structure, even 
when the door is ajar. 


The interior consists of disparate and haphazard architectural 
features, and is much larger than the exterior would suggest. 


View of SCP-2304's interior from entrance. 


Taking the stairwell appearing to lead upwards results in the subject 
descending approximately 10 meters before reaching a junction of 
several hallways, branching off in horizontal, diagonal, and vertical 


directions. The corridors of SCP-2304 are comprised of metallic 
paneling, with occasional steam vents. Hallways and junctions have 
shown to exhibit similar properties to the sets of stairs, and contain a 
localized gravity field. 


The sound of a faint heartbeat is audible throughout SCP-2304 at a 
rate of 96 bpm. The source is as of yet unknown. 


The hallway leading to SCP-2304-1 


SCP-2304-1 is a small chamber in the chest region of SCP-2304. 
External mapping reveals that the room is similar in structure to the 
breast of a human female. A single vent is present on the ceiling of 
SCP-2304-1, which constantly seeps liquid mercury. The sound of a 
music box is occasionally heard from SCP-2304-1. Instances of 
SCP-2304-3 have been known to gather around SCP-2304-1 in 
order to feed. 


SCP-2304-2 is a large area located at a depth of about 90 m. The 
entry halls nearing SCP-2304-2 are noticeably more sporadic! in 
shape, and have been recorded shifting and turning. SCP-2304-2 
resembles the reproductive organs of an adult human female, with 
structural components resembling the cervix, uterus, and fallopian 
tubes present. A mass of electrical cables and biological flesh is 
present at the ceiling of SCP-2304-2, and a large glass pipe leads 
down from it to SCP-2304-3. Unintelligible grunts and groans are 
audible throughout SCP-2304-2. 


SCP-2304-3 are various different creatures manufactured by 
SCP-2304-2, often taking the form of common household objects. 
SCP-2304-3 are comprised of various metallic substances, and lack 
any internal organs. Specimens will feed using a small suction tube 
present on their "mouth". SCP-2304-3 show no signs of sapience, 
and will produce incoherent crying similar to that of a small child. 
Specimens are formed within SCP-2304-2 and will patrol the lower 
portions of SCP-2304 for intruders. 


A malformed instance of SCP-2304-3 


SCP-2304-4 is a humanoid male, composed entirely of a silicon- 


mercury composite. SCP-2304-4 is conversational when prompted, 
but prefers to be allowed to study alone. SCP-2304-4's technological 
knowledge is vastly different to current human technology, with 
highly developed knowledge of several fields of currently unproven 
science. 


Addendum-1: An unmanned rover was tasked with mapping out 
SCP-2304, and catalogued SCP-2304-1, SCP-2304-2, and 
documented 43 instances of SCP-2304-3. Camera surveillance was 
set up throughout SCP-2304. Surveillance caught video of 
SCP-2304-4 holding the rover, taking it to the dwelling SCP-2304-4 
resides in. SCP-2304-4 was recorded offering a glass of wine to the 
rover before damaging the device, assumed to be accidental. 


Addendum-2: An official interview with SCP-2304-4 took place. 
+Interview-2304-1 
Interviewed: SCP-2304-4 
Interviewer: Dr. Georges Luikj 


Foreword: Interview requested during 
mealtime by SCP-2304-4. Interview took place 
in the living room of SCP-2304-4's dwelling. 


<Begin Log> 


Dr. Luikj: Good Evening SCP-2304-4, may | 
have a seat? 


SCP-2304-4: Oh why yes, of course! Please, 
Call me Hugo! (Starts for pantry) Would you 
like some cognac? Mother brought me some 
earlier this morning! 


Dr. Luikj: No thank you, If | may ask, who's 
your mother? Could you pour some 
chardonnay? 


SCP-2304-4: Ah, chardonnay... Oh, Mother? 


She lives downstairs... She gets the groceries 
for me sometimes, and brings me wine from 
the store across the street. Here you go, 
Georges. The man across the street brought 
this from Artois, beautiful wine. You have 
excellent taste, sir. 


Dr. Luikj: Thanks. Now for the main course, 
we have...? 


SCP-2304-4: Roast lambchops with sweet 
cranberry sauce, and sauteed mushrooms. | 
hope you enjoy! Mother had a whale of a time 
getting the ingredients for me, but she makes 
dos: 


Dr. Luikj: Oh my, this looks delicious. Now, on 
to more official matters. How have your studies 
been coming along? 


SCP-2304-4: Oh Yes! | recently made a 
breakthrough! | discovered that the 42nd chain 
of the sequence has 4 missing Amacose 
particles! Isn't that fascinating? So I've notated 
the partuvixate of the Naxium strand, and 
entered it in my catalogue and- Oh heavens, 
have | lost you? 


Dr. Luikj: Oh no, | simply find this all 
fascinating, but do remind me again what the 
sequence is for Naxium? 


SCP-2304-4: Here, | should give you a copy of 
my notes after dinner... Make it a little bit 
easier of course. 


Dr. Luikj: Oh, thank you! What will we be 
having for dessert? 


SCP-2304-4: Oh Dear, I'm afraid not. Mother 


wasn't able to get the ingredients, times are 
tough you know..? 


Dr. Luikj: And, forgive me for asking, but why 
can't you go and get the groceries yourself? 


SCP-2304-4: Oh... | can't go out, you know... 
My condition keeps me from going outside of 
the house... 


Dr. Luikj: And..? 


SCP-2304-4: Besides, Mother surrounds us. 
Mother provides for us. Mother is all of my 
world. 


<End Log> 


Closing Statement: Dr. Luikj then exited the 
dwelling, and handed SCP-2304-4's notes in 
to research. The notes are currently being 
analyzed for usable information. 


Addendum-3: An additional interview with SCP-2304-4. 
+Interview-2304-2 
Interviewed: SCP-2304-4 
Interviewer: Dr. Georges Luikj 


Foreword: Interview requested by Dr. Luikj on 
grounds of acquiring more information. 


<Begin Log> 
Dr. Luikj: Good morning, Hugo! 


SCP-2304-4: Hello Georges, where have you 
been? I'm afraid | haven't anything for you to 
eat- 


Dr. Luikj: That's alright, | ate before | came, | 
apologize for my absence from our normal 
scientific meetings. | came back from vacation 
in Paris yesterday. 


SCP-2304-4: Paris? 


Dr. Luikj: Oh, it's a lovely city in France! It lies 
right where several rivers meet, and it has so 
many old and beautiful buildings! Me and my 
wife— 


SCP-2304-4: Your... wife? 


Dr. Luikj: | apologize. I've gotten off topic. It 
must get lonely here by yourself. 


SCP-2304-4: Hmph. Not really. Mother makes 
for enough company, and | occasionally get 
visits from the cat downstairs. | guess it would 
be nice to see new faces. Would you be able 
to bring me pictures? Of Paris? And maybe 
your wife? 


Dr. Luikj: Sure, uh... I'll try. Now on to more 
pressing matters... 


SCP-2304-4: Oh, right! My research of 
course... Where did | leave them, Ah! Here 
they are! 


Dr. Luikj: What is it? 


SCP-2304-4: | have been working ona 
method of creating some sort of transparent 
barrier, for use here in my home.. This is the 
blueprint for it. Be careful with it, | haven't 
shown mother yet! 


Dr. Luikj: (the drawing seems to be similar to 


a common glass pane window) Oh, well... This 
is interesting. I've never seen anything like 
this, absolutely innovative! 


SCP-2304-4: With this, I'd finally be able to 
see the halls outside of my room, almost like 
I'm right out there with Mother! Isn't this 
wonderful! 


Dr. Luikj: Sure, wonderful indeed. Do you 
have any other new notebooks? 


SCP-2304-4: Other? Oh yes! | also finished 
my theory on Spacial frequency! 


Dr. Luikj: | can't tell you how important your 
research is to me! Well, I'm afraid | have to be 
leaving now... I'll visit again soon! 


SCP-2304-4: Don't forget about the pictures, 
Georges! 


<End Log> 


Closing Statement: Dr. Luikj exited 
SCP-2304. After leaving the entrance to 
SCP-2304-4's dwelling, Dr. Luikj reported 
hearing porcelain shattering coming from 
below. SCP-2304-4's notebooks are currently 
in research. 


SCP-2304-4 displayed signs of depression shortly after the interview 
ceased. It expressed desire to leave SCP-2304 and visit Paris, 
France, in hopes of experiencing love. Dr. Georges Luikj is awaiting 
review over the unprofessional conduct during interviews and the 
sharing of extraneous information with SCP-2304-4 


Addendunmn-4: Following Dr. Luikj's discharge from the SCP-2304 
team, a small strip of paper was found at the entrance to SCP-2304, 
presumed to have been slipped from beneath the door. 


Item description: Cylinder labeled "Aunt Annie's Fruity Fibers: Blue 
Raspberry Beret," packaging text written in English, French, and 
Hawaiian. Packaging encourages customers to try other available 
flavors, including "Grape Gloves," "Mint Mittens," and "Cherry Cowl." 
Contents were one skein of sweet-smelling blue yarn, a pair of 
knitting needles, and a sheet of paper containing instructions for 
knitting a simple hat. Sampling the end of the "yarn" proved it to be 
edible, though described as "chewy and a little dry," with a raspberry 
flavor. The presiding researcher was able to knit the hat described in 
the pattern, and reported that the "yarn" behaved similarly to a wool 
blend. 


Money entered: 1 counterfeit 500 yen coin (minted on site, 
otherwise identical to authentic article), accepted by SCP-261 
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered 

Item description: After a delay of approximately 3 seconds, an 
unmarked, opaque white cellophane package was dispensed. 
Package contained candies similar to "Gummi Bears," but shaped 
like human hands with extended middle fingers. Item was 
interpreted as a threat and not consumed. Testing revealed candy 
contained lethal amounts of potassium cyanide. 


On 10/09/2009, a sequential experiment with an unpowered 
SCP-261 was run, attempting to discern just how quickly the 
machine would start to dispense "bizarre" objects. All vended items 
were tested via D-class personnel for safety reasons. 


Money entered: 500 yen 

SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Unpowered 

Item description: A soft drink can labeled "Cokepsi Zero" with a 
color scheme that appears to be a combination of the Coke and 
Pepsi zero-calorie product labels. D-class personnel reported it to 
taste like a mix of Coke and Pepsi, and a definite taste of 
aspartame. Ingredients list on can appear to be a mix of Coke and 
Pepsi ingredients. No particular effects noted. 


Money entered: 500 yen 

SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Unpowered 

Item description: A larger than normal can, the label declaring it to 
be a normal variety of canned corn that can be found in grocery 


Take me with you 


Addendum-5: SCP-2304's entrance was abruptly sealed, and 
communication was lost with most of the surveillance equipment 
within SCP-2304. Any attempts to re-enter SCP-2304 have so far 
been unsuccessful. 


Footnotes 

1. The patterns of the structure of these hallways has been noted to 
resemble that ofSCP-413in some of its iterations. Investigation 
between the two phenomena has not yet found a link. 

2. Some divergent instances include dolls, arthropod-like creatures, 
and model cars. 


« SCP-2303 | SCP-2304 | SCP-2305 » 


SCP-2305: great ideas that are TOTALY USELESS 
(lulz) 


Item #: SCP-2305 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2305 is to be contained in 
a standard high-value storage locker in Site 68. Once weekly, a 
Foundation researcher is to record the SCP-2305-A instance 
currently displayed, and archive it onto a secure Foundation server. 
SCP-2305-A neutralization methods are not to be attempted without 
the approval of a member of the O5 Council. 


Description: SCP-2305 is a sheaf of US Letter papers, stapled on 
the top left corner. Written on the front page in black permanent 
marker are the words "great ideas that are TOTALY [sic] USELESS" 
in large letters. Below in smaller text and parentheses is the word 
"lulz",1 as well as a crude hand-drawn image of the Foundation's 
insignia. 


Once weekly, the contents of SCP-2305 will be altered with a new 
instance of SCP-2305-A. SCP-2305-A is a standard Foundation 
document, nearly always written with Level 4 clearance or above, 
which always contains the following: