then quickly returned his companion to the mainland to 
seek medical attention’, reporting the sighting to local 
law enforcement, prompting further Foundation 
investigation. After three months of scouting, Foundation 
operatives located SCP-3243 and began preparations to 
establish containment. 


Addendum SCP-3243-1: When contact with SCP-3243 was first 
established, Dr. Hunter Miles (assigned to the case as of 
04/09/2010) had begun attempting to approach SCP-3248 via 
airboat by following SCP-3243-1 instances congregating nearby. 
SCP-3243 exhibited a familiarity with common hand signals used by 
waterskiers, using its appendages to form the "I'm okay" and "stop" 
signs in response to questions in the yes/no format. Over the course 
of the following conversation, Dr. Miles was able to determine that 
SCP-3243 appeared to possess a high level of intelligence and 
comprehension, and associated humans with the recent 
conservation efforts occurring throughout the Everglades area. 


Prior to Dr. Miles returning to the cabin to prepare his daily report, 
SCP-3243 swam closer to the airboat and proceeded to point at Dr. 
Miles's ID badge, the lettering on the side of the boat, and then itself 
in succession. After additional conversation, Dr. Miles interpreted 
this as a request to be taught how to read, and promised SCP-3243 
he would return. 


Addendum SCP-3243-2: As of 12/26/2013, SCP-3243 has shown 
significantly rapid development in reading comprehension and has 
begun to request writing implements from Dr. Miles. The Foundation 
has since provided a set of eco-friendly writing pads and styluses for 
SCP-3243, which it currently stores on its back. 


In a recent meeting with SCP-3243, Dr. Miles was presented with a 
garment made of woven reeds, resembling a life vest. When asked 
what the purpose of the item was, SCP-3243 gestured to Dr. Miles's 
ID card, and then proceeded to write the word "protect" on its writing 
pad. 


Analysis of the garment has identified an anomalous effect 
incorporated into the woven pattern of the reeds (though the organic 


material of the item seems non-anomalous). Further testing has 
indicated that the vest is resistant to rot, lightweight as well as 
buoyant in water, and possibly bulletproof. Further investigation of 
the weaving pattern and whether it can be replicated for Foundation 
use has begun. 


It has been noted that when Dr. Miles indicated interest in learning 
from SCP-3243 how to make the vests to "protect his friends", 
SCP-3243 immediately exhibited excitement. It then instructed 
SCP-3243-1 instances to begin removing reeds from its back to 
demonstrate the construction of a preliminary woven pattern. 


Site Director Shenberger has approved Dr. Miles's request to wear 
the vest during every subsequent visit to SCP-3243 as a show of 
good faith and respect. 


Footnotes 

1. The current primary contact for the SCP-3243 case is Dr. Hunter 
Miles, Cryptozoology dept. 

2. Of note, some of the plant species observed on SCP-3243 are 
variants of ferns and orchids believed to have gone extinct in the 
recent decade. 

3. Per medical records, had stated he did not feel any pain 
upon initially arriving at the hospital, despite his injuries. Hospital 
staff were not able to determine the cause for this. Mr. later 
made a full recovery. 


« SCP-3242 | SCP-3243 | SCP-3244 » 


SCP-3244: Mountain Dew: Code Red 


Item #: SCP-3244 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: The house containing 
SCP-3244 is to be secured against outside visitors by Foundation 
agents. Utilizing the Foundation front company "Southern Crosscut 
Pines" the surrounding properties are to be purchased from their 
current owners in order to effect more permanent containment. 


Should this purchasing process not be completed by January ist 
2019, Foundation assets in the West Haven city council are to call 
for the condemnation of the remaining homes under the auspices of 
protecting the community from sinkhole risks. 


Description: SCP-3244 is an aperture located on the second floor 
of a house in West Haven, Connecticut that leads to an extra- 
dimensional space. This aperture is approximately .69 meters in 
diameter. When traversed by an individual's arm, SCP-3244 allows 
that individual to acquire an instance of "Mountain Dew" (hereafter 
identified as SCP-3244-1). 


SCP-3244 is capable of producing variants of SCP-3244-1 which do 
not match any extant commercial product. A full listing of these 
variants is available in document 3244-1-K. Following 513 tests, the 
distribution of acquired variants is as follows: 


¢ Mountain Dew Code Red: 365 

¢ Mountain Dew (Baseline Flavor): 44 

Bottled, clear, and unaged whiskey: 34 

Mountain Dew Baja Blast: 31 

¢ Other Mountain Dew branded products (for a full listing see 
pages 1-3 of document 3244-1-K): 26 

¢ Anomalous variants of SCP-3244-1: 13 


SCP-3244 was originally identified and contained on August 16th 
2016. The house SCP-3244 is located in had been abandoned for 7 
months by its previous owner, Toby Thompson!. Mr. Thompson was 
last seen on January 18th 2016, approximately 9 months after the 
original creation of SCP-3244. A collection of communications 
between Mr. Thompson and his associates are collected below. 


+ Show Communication Logs 
Communications recovered from Mr. Thompson's 


Phone: 
Log 3244-A: 


yo | got an idea 


What 


what if we didn't have to get up to get stuff 
from our fridges downstairs 


Like rick and morty? 


you know anyone who's good with portals 
and shit? 


You heard of the jmen 


shit yeah 


Charles Boles 


he got a number? 


Dude still uses email. 


old fart? 


Yeah but like, be respectful, call him Mr. 
Boles 


the fuck? 


Just do it 


fine what's his addy? 


moc.liamg|seloBlraEselrahC#moc.liamg| 
seloBlraEselrahC 


that is an old person 
Don't fuck this up for me. We need them for 
stuff somtimes 


i won't, jesus get your panties out of a knot 


Recovered Emails: 


To: Charles Boles (moc.liamg]| 
seloBlraEselrahC#moc.liamg| 
seloBlraEselrahC) 

From: Toby Thompson (moc.liamg| 
tiezalo024nospmohtt#moc.liamg| 
tiezalb024nospmohtt) 

Subject: portals 


Hey Mr. Boles. A friend of mine told me you 
could help me make portals and stuff. 


To: Toby Thompson (moc.liamg| 
tiezalb024nospmohtt#moc.liamg| 
tiezalo024nospmohtt) 

From: Charles Boles (moc.liamg| 
seloBlraEselrahC#moc.liamg| 
seloBlraEselrahC) 

Subject: Re: Portals 


Mr. Guthrie2 told me you might be dropping a 
message. We're quite honored to be 
considered for the work, honestly. What did 
you have in mind exactly? 


To: Charles Boles (moc.liamg| 
seloBlraEselrahC#moc.liamg| 
seloBlraEselrahC) 

From: Toby Thompson (moc.liamg| 
tiezalb024nospmohtt#moc.liamg| 
tiezalb024nospmohtt) 

Subject: Re: Portals 


| wanted to know if it was possible to make a 
portal from my desk to the refrigerator. 


To: Toby Thompson (moc.liamg| 
tiezalo024nospmohtt#moc.liamg| 
tiezalb024nospmohtt) 

From: Charles Boles (moc.liamg| 
seloBlraEselrahC#moc.liamg| 
seloBlraEselrahC) 

Subject: Re: Portals 


| see. Yes. We can do that. Are you sure? This 
is quite an expensive service you're asking for. 


To: Charles Boles (moc.liamg| 
seloBlraEselrahC#moc.liamg| 
seloBlraEselrahC) 


From: Toby Thompson (moc.liamg| 
tiezalb024nospmohtt#moc.liamg| 
tiezalo024nospmohtt) 

Subject: Re: Portals 


Yup. 


To: Toby Thompson (moc.liamg| 
tiezalb024nospmohtt#moc.liamg| 
tiezalb024nospmohtt) 

From: Charles Boles (moc.liamg| 
seloBlraEselrahC#moc.liamg| 
seloBlraEselrahC) 

Subject: Re: Portals 


Alright then. We'll contact Mr. Guthrie for 
payment, if you don't mind? He's a known 
quantity to us, and I'd be more comfortable 
with that sort of arrangement. Once the 
deposit clears we'll send one of our people to 
you. 


To: Charles Boles (moc.liamg| 
seloBlraEselrahC#moc.liamg| 
seloBlraEselrahC) 

From: Toby Thompson (moc.liamg| 
tiezalo024nospmohtt#moc.liamg| 
tiezalb024nospmohtt) 

Subject: Re: Portals 


I'm good for it but alright. He's got my details. 


To: Toby Thompson (moc.liamg| 
tiezalb024nospmohtt#moc.liamg| 
tiezalb024nospmohtt) 

From: Charles Boles (moc.liamg| 
seloBlraEselrahC#moc.liamg| 
seloBlraEselrahC) 

Subject: Re: Portals 


Excellent! We'll get this ball rolling then. 


Thanks for the business! 


Log 3244-B: 


this sucks 


What now 


i'm out of dew 


lul 


not funny dude 


Julz 


fuck you i'm fixing this portal 


It's broke? 


No further communications involving SCP-3244 were 
discovered. It is believed that the capacity to acquire 
variant instances of SCP-3244-1 was added by Mr. 
Thompson. 9 months after this textual exchange, Mr. 
Thompson went missing. 


+ Show Testing Logs 
Test 1: 
Date: 9/24/16 
Directive: Baseline test. D-8245 was directed 
to reach into SCP-3244 and acquire an 
SCP-3244-1 instance. 


Results: D-8245 acquired an instance of 
"Mountain Dew Code Red" 


Test 56: 


SCP-415's body has undergone several radical alterations 
performed by an unknown third party. Subject has several zippers 
surgically installed on his body: one curved from his left armpit to the 
skin over his stomach, one centered directly over the heart, and two 
installed parallel to each other on the gut. Further physical 
anomalies have been observed that were later found to have been 
removed or resolved over time. 


* Most of the torso was covered by a loose flap of skin that 
could be lifted at any time, and was pinned on by three safety 
pins and a sewing button. This anomaly remained for 63 days. 


Several long lines of stitches crudely placed with thick black 
thread of unknown material, raising the surface of the skin by 
more than a centimeter in some places. A particularly 
noticeable stitching began on the small of the back and 
continued up the side until the fourth rib. From here it passed 
over the neck and forked into two branches ending on the 
shoulders. In an accident where it was struck with some force 
this stitching was severed. The entire left side ripped open 
and almost all the internal organs spilled out. There was 
evidence that this stitching was undone and replaced 
numerous times over a period of nine months despite constant 
observation. At the end of this period all stitches vanished and 
subject showed no evidence of their existence. 


A steel lining was found inserted in between the solid bones of 
the skull. If a sharp object like a scalpel or knife was slid 
through, and some pressure applied, the structure would allow 
the top of its skull to be removed. This mechanism remains in 
place at present but is largely unnoticeable to the casual 
observer. 


It has been consistently observed by staff assigned to SCP-415 that 
before one of these physical modification anomalies the subject will 
enter a state of extreme panic and heightened strength 
accompanied by frantic screaming. At a point during this panicked 
state the subject will undergo a ‘phase’ where the environment 
within 2.5m of it will warp, displaying what has been described by 
observing staff as ‘alien landscapes’, ‘operating rooms’, ‘oversized 
organic anatomy’, and in one instance, ‘an amusement park’. The 


Date: 2/19/17 


Directive: Same as baseline test, however 
D-8245 was directed to taste acquired 
instance. 


Results: D-8245 acquired an instance of 
"Mountain Dew Code Red" which emitted a 
faint noise until D-8245 twisted and removed 
the cap. D-8245 mistakenly threw cap into 
SCP-3244 after removal. Instance did not 
appear to possess any other anomalous 
properties and the noise did not return. 


Test 103: 


Date: 4/24/17 
Directive: Same as baseline test. 


Results: D-8245 acquired an instance of 
bottled, clear, and unaged whiskey. Labeled 
"MD Moonshine". 


Test 285: 


Date: 8/6/17 
Directive: Same as baseline test. 


Results: D-8245 acquired a jar of "Moonlight" 
(pictured above). Approximate weight of the 
object is in line with the weight of an empty jar 
despite appearing to contain a solid 
substance. 


Test 513: 


Date: 1/11/18 


Directive: Same as baseline test, however 


D-8245 was directed to taste acquired 
instance. 


Results: D-8245 was seated next to the 
aperture while researchers set up recording 
equipment prior to test. 


A hand approximately 7 meters wide emerged 
from an aperture on the opposite side of the 
testing chamber and grasped D-8245. D-8245 
began to scream and was removed from the 
testing chamber through that same aperture by 
the hand. After approximately 6 seconds 
D-8245's head re-entered the chamber 
through the new aperture. The remainder of 
his body was not recovered. 


The newly formed aperture does not appear to 
have remained in place following this test. 


Note: Testing has been temporarily suspended. 


Footnotes 

1. A known associate of GOI 5869. 

2. This individual has still not been located, however they appear to 
be the same individual Mr. Thompson exchanged text messages 
with. 


SCP-3245: Mr. Playing Games Is Bad For Your Health 


SCP-3245 prior to initial containment. 


Item #: SCP-3245 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: Stored in a medium security 
humanoid containment unit, SCP-3245 is to be provided with normal 
humanoid amenities contingent on continued good behavior. All 
excrement and waste shall be held in one of Site-77's low- 
security containment vaults. Once per day, SCP-3245 is granted 
access to a Level-1 psychological researcher. Upon SCP-3245's 
request, this researcher may bring word or puzzle games within 
Site-77 into its containment chamber for recreational purposes. 


Once per week, or more often as dictated by the lead researcher, 
Level-0 personnel are to decontaminate and clean SCP-3245's 
living space. The toilet cubicle connects directly to a storage vault. 
All personnel directly interacting with SCP-3245 must undergo full- 
body decontamination before entering its area. A disease screening 
is required upon the completion of their activities. 


A request from SCP-3245 not to be exposed to any variety of 
tabletop games has been tentatively granted. 


Description: SCP-3245 is a humanoid entity of Cuban descent. The 
internal anatomy of the subject is supplanted by board and chance- 
based games, which it has shown anomalous skill at playing. 
Displaying outwardly average intelligence, SCP-3245 is aware of its 
condition and expresses frequent anxiety over its bodily functions. 
The words "Mr. Playing Games Is Bad For Your Health By Gamers 
Against Weed" have been branded into both of SCP-3245's thumbs. 


SCP-3245's breathing emits the sound of an active automatic card 
shuffler. Sneezing causes cards to be ejected from the subject's 
esophagus. After entering REM sleep, the sound of a jammed card 


shuffler is believed to approximate snoring. 


Metallic fluids are secreted from the sudoriferous glands in place of 
sweat. Although not molten, this material displays polymorphic 
properties which will form pieces from the game Monopoly on the 
exterior of the subject's epidermis. Once formed they spontaneously 
propel themselves off SCP-3245's body. 


A disjointed amalgamation of components taken from the board 
game "Mousetrap" has replaced the digestive system. This causes 
SCP-3245 to suffer symptoms similar to Irritable Bowel Syndrome, 
although it is able to consume food while excreting the waste as 
various game tokens from the materials which comprise its biology. 
Bodily fluids appear to be composed of micro-plastic particulates 
flowing as a liquid.