| don't understand. 
Did | just write in Haiku? 
This bowl is trouble. 


"1481" 

Sobbing in his cup. 

He wishes for more cocaine. 
It didn't appear. 


"Serpents" 


Gears was gone. She wants... 
wanted the answers. But now? 
Queen to A5. Check. 


“"Wondertainment" 


Crafting joy, madness, 
misters, toys, and happiness! 
Just while supplies last! 


“Dangerous to View" 


Anonymous us, 
Anomalous we made this, 
So, are we cool yet? 


w Dear" 


Made you a new one. 
What's lost is lost, but Eric, 
come home, we miss you. 


"008" 


Dangerous virus, 
well, technically a prion, 
and it makes zombies. 


"2406" 


The giant of bronze 
Built by MEKHANE, to oppose 
The Flesh and Karcists. 


"093" 


Small rock, many worlds 
Glass sees in you, hope They don't 
your colour, your hell 


"804" 


Art piece that hates us 
Kept in Alaska, why not? 
Don't go near it, please 


"649" 


Matchbox of winter 
This is very fucking cold 
How does it work though? 


"504" 


Bowl of tomatoes 
No horribly bad jokes, please 
Pelted otherwise 


"2053" 


Coloured plastic cube 
A father longs for his child 
Asks, "WHERE IS MY SON". 


"01 Qo" 


Driving you insane 
A blood-soaked composition 
Music filling graves 


"@0|00000|00|0" 

Fwbide sada ee ea a ee | 
Sess fief Age tery pean Sp 

"3930" 

Apophenia 


allows us to see patterns 
even from nothing. 


"1162" 


Stick your hand in it. 
"Hey! | found my long-lost toy!" 
"Huh? Where'd my badge go?" 


"426" 


| am a toaster. 
Anyone who mentions me 
uses first-person. 


CONFISCATED DOCUMENT 941-B 


Document 941-B was located in the men's lavatory at Site June 3, 

. Despite an authorized review by the on-site forensic department, 
there are as of yet no clues as to who is responsible for publishing 
Document 941-B. Even though much of the information within 
Document 941-B has been proven false after lengthy investigations, 
such periodicals are not repeat not permitted under the employee 
contract. 


ALL periodicals must be submitted to and approved by at least two 
Level 3 administrators and must be printed using supplied on-site 
equipment. 


Note from O5- : 

Even though we have yet to find any further items related to 
Document 941-B, we must still be on the lookout for possible 
attempts to distribute items like these. They only serve to undermine 
the established authority and can possibly have negative effects on 
the disposition of researchers. 


Click on the image to enlarge. 


Note: 

WHO THE HELL IS PRINT ABOUT MY SEX LIFE 

SON OF THE BITCH 

| HAVE YOUR HEAD ASS FOR THIS YOU SON OF A BITCHES 


-D. Strelnikov 


With respect, Captain, none of this can possibly contain information 
the whole site wasn't aware of before. 
-Dr. Light 


For the record, you totally traded down. 
-Agent Yoric 


30 August 1895. 


3 December 1924. 


4 June 1953. 


3 February 1956. 


8 January 1962. 


10 December 1962. 


noted to have disappeared 
from police possession. 
Eliza Duke and Jacob Rawl 
vanish after leaving home in 
a stagecoach. SCP-935 not 
recovered. 

SCP-935 is photographed at 
the murder scene of 
MacDouglas "Little Bigsy" 
Bowe lil. 

Suzanna Carlito goes 
missing from her home, and 
SCP-935 is recovered from 
the interior, set up for 
solitaire. Foundation Agents 
discover and retrieve 
SCP-935. Suzanna Carlito 
is a direct descendant of 
MacDougias Bowe. 
Foundation Colonel Adrian 
Bowe is killed in a high- 
speed collision north of San 
Francisco. His son, 
Lieutenant Stan Bowe, a 
research scientist stationed 
within Site-19, retrieves 
SCP-935 from the crash 
site, and begins studying it. 
Anomalous properties 
confirmed shortly 
afterwards. 

Following the death of 
Emory Bowe, the Bowe 
Commission is formed to 
investigate all possible 
carriers of Genetic Marker 
Bowe-1A. General Bowe! is 
placed in command of the 
commission. 

M died after being 


Hey man, how come this one even has some Javanese date and 
matchmaking articles? It even has prediction dates for some of our 
personnel... Let's see... Iceberg, Kliwon Friday th , «+ Be 
careful, watch for the flying money hidden dump' ...I seriously can't 
decipher this one. 

-Agent Carriontrooper 


MOVE ALONG NOW, NOTHING TO SEE HERE, PEOPLE. 

IN PARTICULAR, PAGE SIXTEEN IS TO BE TREATED AS, ahem, 
A CLASS- uh, TWELVE MEMETIC HAZARD. 

THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION. 

-Dr. Klein 


lam not a Monkey. 
-Dr. Bright 


On the upside, the extra advertisement from the ban should sell 
enough to cover printing cos- er, nevermind. How do | make it erase 
that? 

-Agent Yoric 


It all really depends on your definition of Doctor, | suppose. | refuse 
to comment beyond that. 
-Lurker 


So THAT is what happened to that poor, poor pony. 
-Dr. Ziegler 


Damn. | expected an article about Strelnikov's beak wetting habits, 
but | didn't expect close-up pictures... 
-Dr. Kald 


| think | was at that wedding. 
-Agent Nicholakis 


| was at 914 and Gears' counselling session. It was the most 
uninteresting thing ever. 
-Agent Spoon 


Whoever came up with "Dear Able: Advice for the Lovelorn”: that 
was funny as hell, and it was nice knowing you. 


-Dr. Lambert 


Everything on page 16 is FALSE. FALSEFALSEFALSE. And | swear 
I'm going to hurt someone the next time | hear the word "Necrololi". 
~Dr. Trebuchet 


Regarding the article on page 24 about my botched attempt to get 
050... The pictures about the "Sushi-Inator" are just photoshops of 
914 with inari-sushi filling! | wasn't even near 914 that day, so shut 
up about trying to get pictures of Josie wrapped in seaweed! IT 
NEVER HAPPENED! 

-Dr. Okagawa 


That Pisces horoscope regarding 999 is just downright disturbing. 
-Dr. Armstrong 


Jesus Strelnikov, | had to turn those pictures upside down twice 
before | realised what they were showing. 
- Dr. Aeish 


Who the fuck approved a 231-7 paternity test? 
-Dr. Stoeckle 


| see that nobody else slipped the Internal Communications staff a 
fifty to keep their mouths shut. 
-Clef 


Scrapbooking 


Flip. 


| turn the page back, and it's the two weeks we spent in the 
Bahamas. We stayed in a beachfront cabin, enjoying every sunset 
as if it would be our last, caring about nothing except for the touch of 
each others’ skin. We went diving off the coral reef, swimming 
among fish with every color of the rainbow while losing ourselves in 
the glory of Mother Nature's beauty. 


Flip. 


Another page turns back, and it's Paris. You finally got to go there 
for pleasure instead of business. We wined and dined by the Eiffel 
Tower, hit every single famous landmark we could think of, and took 
in all the art and architecture we had always wanted to see. 


Flip. 


It's our first anniversary, in Florida. Lying on the beach, holding 
hands, we blotted out everything but our love for each other and let 
the warm tropical sun melt away the worries of our day jobs. 


Flip. 


Our wedding day. | remember how breathless | was when | saw you 
in your dress for the first time, radiant in your beauty. We never 
thought the Director would actually come, much less actually smile. 


Flip. 


The night | proposed. | knew that you knew the moment we went to 
that restaurant you had always wanted to go to, but you still 
pretended to be surprised. Everyone wanted to congratulate us and 
shake our hands. 


Flip. 


Our first date. | doubt | could have botched it more, yet you liked me 
enough to let me ask you out again. | still remember the lecture the 
Director gave us afterwards. 


Flip. 


I've reached the front cover. | pause for an agonizing minute before | 
turn the book over and start from the back again. 


Flip. 


| read every word of my termination notice again. | remember the 
look on the Director's face as she handed me the slip of paper and 
told me to clean out my desk. | remember that fleeting moment 
when | saw for the first time a sadness so profound that it could not 
be described by words, and realized deep down that it was because 
she couldn't bear to look me in the eye. 


Flip. 


| turn back another page and the last of the letters bleeds its 
sympathy at me again. "John, this is the last time we'll be writing..." 


Flip. 


"John, | know it's only been a few months, but we all think that you 
should..." 


Flip. 
"John, it might be too soon, but..." 
Flip. 

"John, we're all so sorry..." 

Flip. 


"John, | am sorry to have to be the one to tell you this, but your wife 
did not make it to her designated evacuation point following the 
containment breach and total loss of Site 29. At this time, we are 
forced to assume that she was killed in action along with the rest of 


her team..." 
Flip. 


It's the last photo of you again, along with the note you wrote me 
that one fateful day. A piece of simple, lined notebook paper with the 
hand-scribbled words, "see you at seven". A single tear falls onto 
the page and | quickly wipe it away to prevent it from damaging the 
book, even though | know it's a futile gesture. The countless tears 
that came before have left their mark on it already. 


Flip. 


| see you beaming with pride at the party celebrating your promotion 
once more. | remember all the conversations, lectures and 
arguments we had, and the Director reminding us in that quiet way 
of hers that while she would never order us either way, that there is 
always the unspoken risk in our line of work when it comes to being 
in love with our coworkers. 


Flip. 


| turn the page back, and it's the two weeks we spent in the 
Bahamas for the thousandth time, and for the thousandth time | wish 
that as | turn back the book | could turn back time just so | could 
have one more minute, one more second with you. 


Flip. 


Another page turns back, and | die a little more inside. 


Scratches 


scritch scritch scritch 


| couldn’t get any sleep last night. There was something scratching 
from behind the walls. It’s probably just rats or something. !'ll 
probably get it checked out tomorrow. 


scritch scritch scritch 


Couldn’t sleep again last night. That damn scratching sound came 
up again. This time, it was all over the place, like it was scurrying 
through the walls and ceiling. | seriously have to call somebody 
about this. 


scritch scritch scritch 


That damn scratching won't stop. | called over the landlord and an 
exterminator. They gave my room and the entire floor a thorough 
inspection, short of knocking holes through the walls. They said they 
couldn't find any evidence of pests anywhere. Well fuck them. At 
least the inspection was free. 


scritch scritch scritch 


Fucking hell, it’s still there. | borrowed some plastic sealing spray 
from one of my neighbors. I’m not sure how he happened to have 
several cans of the stuff lying around, it just seems to be a bit too 
convenient. From the way he acted, it looked as if this wasn’t the 
first time he’s done something like this. Maybe...? 


Nah, just my imagination. 


| didn’t sleep that night. | soent the whole time sealing every 
possible crack and hole in my apartment. | don’t want to risk that 
damn whatever it is crawling into my room. 


scritch scritch scritch 


FUCK. 


| think the thing must have crept in while | was out. | can hear it 
scratching around on the inside of my room now. Oh god, | think it’s 
coming closer... 


scritch scritch scritch 

It's in my head eating my thoughts! 

Itsinmyheadeatinmythoughtsitsinmyheadeatinmythoughtsitsinmyheadeatinn 
Transcript of Autopsy Report 


Doctor __: Alright, subject is a -year-old Caucasian 
male. Cause of death unknown at this time. 


Doctor : But, look at him! His head- 


Doctor —_: Doctor !| know you're new here, but 
please refrain from making unprofessional statements 
during the autopsy. Severe trauma in the top half of the 
subject’s skull. Scratch marks on the wounds suggest 
that the trauma was self-inflicted and done by hand. The 
blood, skin, hair, and bone fragments found under the 
subject’s fingernails correlates with this hypothesis. 


Doctor : He scratched his own brains out? 


Doctor _ : That’s avery blunt way to put it, but yes. That 
seems like what happened, does it? But you can never 
be too sure. Let's continue... 


Scripture 


The following document was found in a fax machine in Site 93; no 
records of its source or time of transmission were located. A 
connection to SCP-962 is presumed. 


In the BEGINNING there was the Great One, the 
Glorious and Most Great on HIGH. 


The GREAT ONE lived first in itself, needing no world 
around it; for it was the most GREAT, and needed 
nothing, and wanted nothing. 


but there was darkness around the GREAT ONE'S body, 
and the darkness formed into the EARTH. And the 
EARTH was jealous as it looked at the GREAT ONE and 
saw that it wanted for nothing, and plotted to destroy that 
beauty, destroy the Glory, destroy the GREATNESS. 


and the Earth did create Gravity, and pulled the body of 
the GREAT ONE down to its rocks and crags, and broke 
it. 


and the GREAT ONE was broken, and shattered across 
the Earth, and fractured into pieces. Millions of pieces. 


beautiful pieces 


and these became the Great Ones, the offspring of the 
broken god that once ruled the cosmos, and was the 
cosmos; the being that lived among the stars, and was 
the stars. 


and the EARTH saw that the Great Ones were many, 
and were strong, in spite of its efforts so the EARTH tore 
itself apart and formed the ANIMALS, new races of being 
where none had lived before and PLANTS to feed these 


races and many of these ANIMALS were dangerous to 
the GREAT ONES, and tried to kill them and 


the pieces of the GREAT ONE were not everlasting as 
the GREAT ONE once was, and the ANIMALS did great 
damage. The ANIMALS stole food, and stole land, and 
stole water, and hated the Great Ones, and worst of all, 
they did not see the BEAUTY 


They did not Understand the BEAUTY and they did not 
LOVE the Great Ones! There is no greater heresy! 


and the COSMOS saw that the GREAT ONES were 
suffering, and built a great TOWER in a valley of the 
EARTH. And though the EARTH was unclean, the 
TOWER was clean always clean so very clean and 


inside the TOWER were the people mere servants of the 
Great Ones nothing more 


and the people Merest worms that we are tried to fix the 
EARTH CLEANSE THE EARTH 


the ANIMALS were brought into the TOWER, and there 
made pure and whole with the steel, made again in the 


GLORY 


of the Great Ones and wrapped in steel and made to 
serve 


and the Great Ones came and saw the TOWER and did 
not understand we of the people knew they did not 
understand So we took pieces of the ANIMALS pieces 
they did not need and tried to speak to the GREAT ONES 


we 


would not touch the EARTH and its filth but we 
spoke nonetheless. 


And we continued to cleanse the EARTH, and cleanse 


the ANIMALS so they would see the 
GLORY 


of the GREAT ONES 


but THEY did not SPEAK to ys even after we spoke to 
THEM 


and a voice 

4 voice 

the lowest voice of the darkest evil spoke 
from the deepest reaches of the TOWER 
spoke lies to the people of the TOWER told us 


told us that the GREAT ONES could not hear ys because 
they 


they were fractured by the earth and that 


and that if they were rejoined into their previous form that 
they could 


that they could appreciate know of oyr LOVE and could 
and could LOVE yg in return. 


and this was a greater HERESY even than the lies of the 
ANIMALS but 


but we did not KNOW we could not KNOW how could we 
KNOW 


we AF nothing before the GREAT ONES 


but we were convinced by the gark voice and carried out jts 
plan 


30 August 1964. 


9 July 1970.