Description: Reaction of the crowd was used as a 
metric to judge the winner. SCP-3909-A described the 
backing beats as "hypnotic", though admits that his 
perception was distorted by coincidental use of 
hallucinogenic drugs. 

Result: SCP-3909-A won by a narrow margin. Subject 
claims that his ability to rap is enhanced by drug use, 
though testimony from friends and family suggests 
otherwise. 


Instance: SCP-3909-A-09, 2025-06-19 

Competition: Panic attack 

Description: The first competitor to suffer a panic attack, 
as determined by a judge, would be considered the 
winner. 

Result: As the subject was already experiencing a panic 
attack at the commencement of the competition, a judge 
disqualified SCP-3909-A and awarded SCP-3909-B the 
win. 


Instance: SCP-3909-A-10, 2026-01-02 

Competition: Elvis impersonation 

Description: Contestants were judged on their ability to 
mimic Elvis Presley's mannerisms, dancing, and singing. 
Appropriate costumes and hairstyling were provided to 
both contestants, but appearance was de-emphasized 
as a metric. 

Result: SCP-3909-A won, though she personally 


considered SCP-3909-B's performance to be superior, 
and speculated that the judges were biased in her favor 
due to her opponent oozing a foul-smelling sludge from 
several orifices. 


Instance: SCP-3909-A-12, 2026-08-15 

Competition: Dice rolling 

Description: Contestants would take turns rolling sets of 
five icosahedral (20-sided) dice, with the contestant 
receiving a higher total score winning the round. The first 
to win three rounds won the contest. 

Result: SCP-3909-A lost in three rounds, in each case 
narrowly. Further testing has shown that SCP-3909-A-12 
can anomalously manipulate probability, able to beat 
non-anomalous humans in similar contests 98% of the 
time. 


Instance: SCP-3909-A-15, 2027-11-30 

Competition: Quote-making 

Description: Contestants were given fifteen minutes 
each to devise a 1-2 sentence statement on a randomly 
chosen topic ("Conquest"); a panel of judges then 
evaluated each quote on the basis of how inspirational, 
meaningful, and quotable they were. 

Result: SCP-3909-A lost, receiving minimum scores in 
each category. Subject attributed this to the fact that his 
statement was critical of conquest, whereas SCP-3909- 
B's quote was supportive of conquest. 


Addendum: Anomalous Phenomenon 71255-Indigo-B has been 
linked to SCP-3909. Since the phenomenon was discovered in 2028 
with the deployment of the Array, stars in a region of near- 
Earth space 200-500 light years away have disappeared on an 
irregular basis, with no apparent cause. Recent analysis has shown 
that, accounting for the 2-5 year delay associated with 

viewing, these disappearances have corresponded with the 
conclusions of competitions between SCP-3909-A and -B; 
consequently, this phenomenon has been re-designated SCP-3909- 


The victor of the competition and degree of victory both affect the 


magnitude of SCP-3909-C. On the two occasions in which 
SCP-3909-A won the competition, no stars were observed to 
disappear. In each other case, between 1,480 and 87,513 stars 
disappeared, with smaller disappearances corresponding to better 
performances by SCP-3909-A. 


While it is unclear at this time whether SCP-3909-C poses a direct 
threat to Earth's solar system, per recommendation of Project 
Heimdall SCP-3909 has been preemptively upgraded to Keter-class, 
and containment has been re-oriented to maximize the performance 
of SCP-3909-A. Since enactment of these containment procedures, 
star disappearance associated with SCP-3909-C has decreased by 
69% over historical averages. 


Footnotes 

1. Approximate phonetic rendering. 

2. The phrase "Bring the ruckus!", near the end of the ceremony, is 
spoken in English. 


SCP-3910: A Comedy 


Item #: SCP-3910 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3910 is to be kept in a 
locked containment locker in Site-16. No personnel are allowed to 
remove the object from containment unless permission has been 
obtained from Dr. Williams. 


Description: SCP-3910 is a box containing nine pieces of colored 
chalk. The exterior of the box is colored orange and contains no 
other markings or identifying features. Along with the nine pieces of 
chalk, the interior of SCP-3910 also contains a sheet of paper with 
nine colored symbols on it. Each of these symbols seems to 
correspond with a color of chalk found in the object. 


The colors of the chalk are as follows: black, pink, brown, yellow, 
red, purple, orange, green, and blue. The pieces of chalk have 
remained the same size, even through constant use and testing. 
The main anomalous property of SCP-3910 occurs when a symbol 
from the sheet of paper is drawn with the appropriate color of chalk 
on any surface. 


Upon completion of the symbol, a door of varying shape and size 
will manifest on the surface the symbol was drawn on. Opening the 
door will lead to what is theorized to be a pocket dimension, which 
differs depending on the symbol drawn.! Testing has shown that 
some stimuli within the pocket dimension(s) are not visible on 
camera. For this reason, testing was performed using D-Class 
subjects. See the table below for details. 


Color of Chalk Description of Doc Description of 
Manifestation Pocket Dimension 
Black An automatic glass | Upon entry, subject 


sliding door found themself in a 


Pink 


Brown 


Yellow 


manifested on the 
testing room wall. 
Vision of the other 
side was obscured by 
a dense white mist. 


A red barn door 
manifested on the 
testing room wail. 

A wooden door 
composed of an 
unidentified tree bark 
manifested on the 
testing room wall. 


A large metal door 
resembling a bank 
vault door manifested 
on the testing room 
wall. 


building that 
resembled a 
Department of Motor 
Vehicles (DMV), 
devoid of human life. 
Opening doors inside 
of the building lead to 
"copies" of the same 
room. Exploration 
concluded after 
travelling roughly 5 
kilometers without 
variation in building 
layout. 

See Exploration Log 
3910-02 for details. 


Subject found 
themself in a swamp. 
Weather consisted of 
constant precipitation 
of varying types. Rain, 
snow, and hail were 
recorded all falling at 
the same time. The 
only notable discovery 
in this area was the 
decomposing body of 
a domestic pig (Sus 
domesticus). 
Exploration concluded 
after travelling roughly 
3 kilometers. 

Subject found 
themself in an exact 
replica of the 
Indianapolis Motor 
Speedway. Two cars 
were reported on the 
track, driving in 


Red 


Purple 


A subway car door 
manifested on the 
testing room wail. 
A door similar in 
appearance to the 
sarcophagi found in 
Exploration Log 
3910-05. 


opposite directions. 
They were later 
confirmed to be a 
Bugatti Veyron and a 
Volkswagen Beetle. 
Approximately every 
30 seconds, the two 
cars would collide, 
taking heavy physical 
damage. The cars 
would then reverse, 
seemingly repairing as 
they reversed around 
the track and hit each 
other on the opposite 
side. This pattern 
repeated indefinitely. 
Testing was 
concluded after 
hours of observation. 
See Exploration Log 
3910-05 for details. 


Upon entry, subject 
found themself ina 
dark, cramped space. 
It is theorized that this 
was the interior of one 
of the sarcophagi. 
Subject became 
distressed when the 
way back appeared 
locked. Subject's 
distress increased as 
slits opened and 
[DATA EXPUNGED]. 
No attempts have 
been made to retrieve 
equipment or remains 
of Subject. 


Orange 


Green 


A wooden door 
manifested on the 
testing room wall. 


Subject found 
themself in a log cabin 
situated in what 
appeared to be a 
temperate forest. 
Subject was instructed 
to leave cabin and 
explore the forest. 
Subject complied. 
Audio feed picked up 
the sound of rushing 
water. When subject 
was nearing the 
source of the noise, 
movement was 
recorded in the 
treeline to the 
subject's right. Subject 
immediately became 
non-compliant and 
retreated back to the 
cabin and Site-16. 
Subject has been sent 
back to ceil. 


A standard metal door Subject found 


with an "Employees 


themself ina 


Only" sign attached to seemingly deserted 


the front. 


shopping mall. All 
stores appeared 
closed and the view 
inside of them was 
obscured. Examples 
of these stores 
include: A pet store 
that seemed to 
exclusively carry 
reptiles,2 an entire 
sewer system, and an 
exact replica of the 
Center for Disease 


Blue 


Control Headquarters. 
A section of the wall} See Exploration Log 
transformed into a 3910-09 
2x1 m rectangle 
composed of ice. 
Pushing against it 
caused it to openina 
manner similar to a 
door. 


+ Exploration Log 3910-02 


Subject D-1321 was provided with standard exploration 
gear, including: 


¢ An 8 watt flashlight with extra batteries 

¢« A head mounted video camera for live feed 

« A two way communicator 

¢ Three meal bars 

¢ Two 1.5 liter water bottles 

¢ A tether that was attached to D-1321 before the 
test 

¢ A backpack 

« A compass 


<Begin Log> 


<0:00:00> The camera is activated. D-1321 is 
facing a rural landscape. A corn field can be 
seen to the left, and rows of wheat fields are 
seen in the distance. Another building is seen 
in the distance, but it is too far away to identify. 
<0:00:05> D-1321 turns around to face the 
point if entry. A barn is visible, apparently 
where D-1321 came out of. The tether rope is 
seen exiting the door. 


<0:00:11> D-1321 is instructed to turn around 
and to start moving towards the other visible 
building. Subject complies. 


This is the extent of its recollection. 


¢ Request: A proper weapon. Granted. Losing subject to a non- 
anomalous polar bear would be a waste of Foundation 
resources and an embarrassment. Subject shall receive a 
knife, sheath and belt and is required to keep these items on 
its person at all times. 


3G8-14H-9UX 

Retrieval: Re-contained in the kitchen missing left hand and using 
expletives in an uncontrolled fashion. The subject was returned to 
the infirmary. 


The subject transitioned into a dimension very similar to our own at 
first glance. The subject was apprehended by Foundation personnel 
in the infirmary and questioned about his small "canines." The 
subject admitted to not knowing what that meant, but quickly worked 
it out after his interviewer opened its mouth and pointed to a set of 
large fangs located either side of its incisors. The interviewer also 
commented on the subject's roundish body shape, which was 
considered unusual and fascinating in this dimension. 


Despite these differences, the subject described the creatures who 
interviewed it as kind. They proceeded to bring the subject a large 
amount of food. The subject noted a distinct lack of anything green 
in the meal offered to him. When later told to elaborate by 
Foundation personnel, he stated, "It was all meat!" After eating the 
meal, two of the creatures containing the subject in their equivalent 
of the infirmary escorted him into a small room nearby containing a 
locket hanging on the opposite wall. They told the subject to remove 
its clothes and stand in front of the locket. After the subject had done 
as ordered they opened the locket and exposed it to a green orb for 
approximately 8 minutes. The subject noted the lack of any scar 
tissue on his left side and a strong feeling of general well being. 


The next day a creature came to him and asked for a small portion 
of his skin and musculature in order to "study genetic differences." 
To this the subject responded with, "Only if you provide me with 
another delicious meal!" The creature was visibly excited by this 
outcome. A small biopsy was conducted on the subject's upper right 
thigh. The subject described this experience as "painful but totally 


<0:04:15> Subject stops in their tracks and 
asks control if "they heard that just now". 
Control denies hearing anything and on 
playback of video and audio feed, nothing can 
be heard. D-1321 is instructed to continue. 


<0:07:23> Subject stops again and reports 
wind. Control confirms this from the video 
feed; the wheat in the wheat fields are visibly 
swaying more and the audio feed picked up 
the wind. Subject is instructed again to keep 
moving to the building, which appears to be an 
old house. 


<0:11:45> Subject is about 100 meters from 
the house when they stop again. D-1321 
reports the wind getting "more violent" and 
turns around. At least four tornadoes of 
varying size and strength are visible in the 
distance behind D-1321. Subject becomes 
distressed and begins to remove their tether. 
Control does not object at this time, as 
removal may increase chance of survival. 
D-1321 begins to run to the house. 


<0:13:06> D-1321 arrives at the house. A 
cellar is visible on the outside; D-1321 is 
instructed to enter it and barricade the door to 
shelter from the storms. D-1321 complies 
instantly. 


<0:15:17> D-1321 has entered the cellar and 
barricaded the door. D-1321 opens up their 
backpack and removes the flashlight, 
switching it on. D-1321 asks for permission to 
explore the cellar "as long as they are down 
here." Permission is granted. 


<0:16:43> The cellar appears barren; only 
simple farming tools and rotten fruit can be 
seen. D-1321 stops again and asks control if 


they heard anything. Control states that they 
have not picked up audio once more. When 
asked to describe the noise, D-1321 states it 
sounding feminine and adds that they hear it 
continuously. D-1321 is instructed to find the 
source of the noise and complies after some 
convincing. 


<0:21:03> Subject states that the source of 
the noise is coming from behind a door in the 
cellar. D-1321 is instructed to open it and 
complies. Opening the door reveals a storage 
room filled with bags of grain. Two 
decomposing corpses are seen in the room. 
One appears to be a female in early 
adulthood, the other a male in later adulthood. 
Both are nude and have multiple lacerations 
and puncture wounds in the abdominal area. 
D-1321 shows abnormal behavior, walking up 
to the corpses and asking if they are OK. 
Control does not interrupt and D-1321 
continues, apparently having a conversation 
with the female corpse. In debriefing, it was 
confirmed that D-1321 perceived the corpses 
as living humans who were also hiding from 
the storms. Their conversation consisted of 
[DATA EXPUNGED]. 


<0:46:42> The noise outside has greatly 
reduced and D-1321 is instructed to leave the 
cellar. The subject complies and it is clear 
again. D-1321 is then instructed to walk back 
to the original barn and go back through the 
barn door. Subject complies and returns to the 
testing room in Site-16 without further incident. 


<End Log> 
+ Exploration Log 3910-05 


<Begin Log> 


<0:00:00> Camera activates. D-1321 appears 
to be in a subway station. This is confirmed 
when D-1321 turns around and it is revealed 
that they have just exited a subway car. 
D-1321 is instructed by control to find a way to 
get to the surface. Subject complies. 


<0:06:17> Subject finds multiple stairs and 
powered down escalators and uses them to 
ascend. Throughout this, subway has been 
shown to contain no signs of life. D-1321 
climbs the final escalator and exits into a 
barren metropolitan area. D-1321 is told to 
stand-by while control discusses the next 
course of action. It is agreed that D-1321 is to 
reach the top of one of the taller buildings and 
survey the area. D-1321 is to first go back to 
the subway car and back to Site-16 so the 
tether can be removed; the area proves too big 
and the length of the tether will just obstruct 
D-1321's progress.