Pawlie: So back in college, | used to dye silk 
scarves. You'd float the dyes on a water 
surface, then with a straw carefully blow on the 
surface to make designs, which you'd then 
place the scarf onto. In my dream, | was doing 
this, and all the designs started looking wrong. 
The patterns all started looking like blood and 
guts and eyes and stuff, as if it was staring up 
at me. Then this swarm of spiders started 
crawling out of the ceiling, and started lowering 
web lines into the water. They started sucking 
up all the color. The spiders kept trying to stick 
their webs on me, too, to suck up my color. | 
had to run from all these rainbow spiders in the 
ceiling. 


RodArg: Okay, that's a bit different from mine. 
Pawlie: What was yours? 


RodArg: Back in my college days there was 
this comic called Enigma. Early 90s. In it, there 
was a serial killer called The Head, a tall 
skinny monster with a giant head and big 
puckered lips who would stick a metal straw up 
their victim's nose and suck out their brains. | 
had this thing chasing after me all night long. 


Pawlie: 90s comics were fucked up. 


Inquisitor: This is a message from the 


Cognitohazard Monitoring Department. Based 
on conversation markers, there is the 
possibility of memetic infection. Please be 
aware that all correspondence regarding this 
SCP will be archived, monitored, and 
analyzed. 


Pawlie: Oh god are we in trouble too? | can't 
take all this. Not right now. 


RodArg: | don't think so. 


Inquisitor: Hi, yeah, you're not in trouble. We 
just noted that you're sharing dreams that 
involve chasing and straws in the same time 
period. It could easily just be a coincidence, 
and it's inconclusive that a cognitohazard is 
involved, but we just want to make sure you're 
free of memetic infection. Don't worry, we don't 
share any of this with Ethics or HR. Our job is 
just to track down cognitohazards. 


Pawlie: | should go. I'll just take a sleeping pill 
or something. 


RodArg: Sleep well, Ellie. See you tomorrow. 
I'll get the experiments done. 


Experiment 3966-5 


Protocol: Application of SCP-3966-B to viable human 
neural tissue harvested from SCP-596 D-class. Test 
tissue for binding sites. 


Result: SCP-3966-B binds weakly to N-type calcium ion 
channels on neurons. Binding causes passive blocking 
of the channel, but the bond will break in the presence of 
changes in cell voltage potential (such as during a 
regular firing of the neuron). Biological activity is limited. 
Therapeutic function would be limited to a very mild 
paralytic and analgesic that would not last during normal 


activity. 


Of note, SCP-3966-B would not cause hypnic jerks; it is 
essentially not a risk. | would call this an inactive protein. 
- R. Argent 


Experiment 3966-6 


Protocol: Application of SCP-3966-A to viable human 
neural tissue harvested from SCP-596 D-class. Test 
tissue for binding sites. 


Result: SCP-3966-A binds strongly as an exotoxin to N- 
type calcium ion channels on neurons. Presynaptic 
terminals are observed to undergo a cascade misfolding, 
restructuring the calcium channel into an open cell pore. 
Neurotransmitters, ions, and cytoplasm exit the neuron 
rapidly through the pores, causing cell death within 
seconds. 


Sample mass was recorded at 93.2% the pretest 
sample. No leaks detected. Of note, extracellular 
neurotransmitters were not detected and the fluid 
containing the tissue did not have higher concentration of 
calcium ions. 


Huge mass change again, but no leaks? What, so the 
neurotransmitters and ions just vanish? What does this 
refolding do? - R. Argent 


Experiment 3966-7 


Protocol: Mathematical modeling of SCP-3966-A and 
SCP-3966-B protein folding and binding with N-type 
calcium channels. 


Result: The protein structure of SCP-3966-A toward the 
N-terminus is involved in enzymatic refolding of the 
calcium channel into a pore, while the non-C-terminus 
end inserts itself into the pore. The action is similar with 
SCP-3966-B, except the C-terminus lobe attempts entry 


exposed to the aura. In addition, any detonators or components that 
would aid in the detonation of the tested devices suffered 
mechanical and electronic failures. 


Melee Weaponry: One combat knife, one steak knife, one baseball 
bat, one katana, one poleaxe, one spear. 


Result: All weapons, with the exception of the steak knife and the 
baseball bat, were rendered useless through accelerated rate of 
decay. However, when the steak knife and baseball bat were used 
in a threatening manner, both items were immediately rendered 
useless. 


Weapons of Mass Destruction: One liter of Sarin nerve gas, 1 
gram of weaponized Anthrax, one tactical nuclear warhead. 


Result: All weapons rendered completely inert. All samples, 
including the nuclear material, were completely degraded, and 
instruments recorded no radiation. In the case of the warhead, the 
electronic detonator was also rendered useless. 


Conclusion: SCP-514's aura appears to be able to render any 
conventional weapon useless. Also, the damage each weapon 
suffers is directly proportional to how long the weapon is exposed to 
the aura. In under an hour, all weapons eventually degraded into 
dust. The aura is also somehow selective, being able to discern 
items that are actively designed as weapons from items that are 
potentially dangerous, but not specifically designed to be 
weaponized. However, SCP-514 also appears to be able to discern 
when an item will be used for violent intent, and said item will be 
directly affected by the aura. 


-Dr. 


Experiment Log 514b: 

Live subjects were exposed to SCP-514's aura for an extended 
period of time. The subjects were divided into two groups: Voluntary 
test subjects drawn randomly from the general population as the 
control group, and Class D personnel with a history of violent 
behavior as the test group. Tests showed that the test group's 
violent tendencies were completely suppressed, and acted ina 


into the pore but fails and destabilizes the N-terminus 
bond, causing the channel to revert to its original 
configuration. 


Attempts to model the protein structure in the end region 
of SCP-3966-A results in an inconclusive configuration. 


In layman's terms: The modeling program crashed. The 
output made no sense and the numbers blew up. - R. 
Argent 


+ EVALUATE CORRESPONDENCE SAVED UNDER MORPHEUS-4 


SAVED COMMUNICATION FROM SCP-IM 
SYSTEM 


RodArg: Sis? Are you around? 


CArgent: Why, hello there, bro. How are 
things? 


RodArg: Not good. This latest project is 
making no sense to me. My assistant isn't 
sleeping, and | just found this stealth SCP 
protein in her cerebrospinal fluid. 


CArgent: In her what? How did you find that? 
RodArg: ...| gave her a spinal tap. 


CArgent: What the hell, bro? What's scaring 
you so much? 


RodArg: Here. 
<==Sending scp3966.scp==> 


CArgent: Okay, this is weird. | can barely 
believe you're spending all this time ona 
protein. Wait, this is being monitored by the 
Cog team? 


RodArg: Yes. Sorry. Should have mentioned. 


CArgent: So I'm going to get nightmares, too. 
Great. Thanks, bro. 


RodArg: It’s just a precaution! Nobody knows 
if there even is a cognitohazard! You'll be fine. 
I’m not infecting you. Really. 


CArgent: You're defensive. This isn’t like you. 
Is there anything | can do? 


RodArg: Could you look at the output of the 
folding model? Things blow up at the not-a-C- 
terminus. The math goes nuts. 


CArgent: And you want Dr. Anomalous 
Physics to check your work. Sure, I'll take a 
look. 


CArgent: Okay, so this looks crazy if you try to 
look at it using plain vectors, but | can simplify 
the numbers by using quaternions. 


RodArg: Quaternions? What? 


CArgent: Okay, so you know about the 
complex plane, right? With real numbers (1, 2, 
3) on one line, and imaginary numbers (i, 2i, 
3i) on another line perpendicular to that? 


RodArg: Okay, yes. 


CArgent: Quaternions don't just use i, they 
use i, j, and k. Three sets of imaginary 
numbers. Three different axes all 
perpendicular to the real number axis. 


RodArg: How would you even visualize that? 


CArgent: You kind of can't. It requires four 
spatial dimensions. 


RodArg: What, this protein is folded - fuck. 
CArgent: What now? 


RodArg: Fuck, sorry, gotta go. Emergency. I'll 
talk later. 


Experiment 3966-8 
Subject: Junior Researcher Pawlukojc 


Protocol: Harvesting of SCP-3966-A from subject's CSF 
and exploratory autopsy. 


Result: Subject was discovered expired in her bed at 
0015 when the vital sign monitor she wore triggered an 
alarm. Serum analysis of CSF indicated 5.1 mg/dL of 
SCP-3966-A and 1.6 mg/dL of SCP-3966-B. Cause of 
death appeared to be SUNDS. Histological analysis of 
neural tissue indicates large numbers of SCP-3966-A- 
mediated cell pores and reduced volume of affected 
neurons. 


Toxicological analysis indicates self-medication of 
cyclobenzaprine and zolpidem. It must be stressed that 
these are powerful spasmolytics and sedatives, which 
can have paralytic side effects. Cardiopulmonary system 
appeared unaffected, but skeletal muscle showed 
marked reduction in activity. 


Head Researcher's Note: | got lucky. | dropped one of 
the CSF test tubes, but it didn't shatter and turned out to 
have SCP-3966-B only. | really need a nap. - R. Argent 


Research 3966-Beta 


Protocol: Continued automated search of genomic 
sequence for SCP-3966 


Result: No full matches found. Closest match (87%) to 
silk proteins of SCP-848. 


Head Researcher's Note: SCP-848 catches prey from 
God-knows-where in its webs. | don't dare take sleeping 
pills. If | have to sleep with the spiders, | will. - R. Argent 


Experiment 3966-9 


Subjects: Head Researcher Dr. Roderick Argent, 
D-51174 (Control) 


Protocol: Sleep study performed in SCP-848 
containment chamber 


Result: Subject slept without issue for nine hours. 
Subject had a waking cycle at five hours in the 
containment chamber, and canceled control study, 
bringing D-51174 into the containment chamber. 


Head Researcher's Note: Just couldn't let them keep 
tossing and turning. | slept like a baby. The D-class didn't 
want to join me with all the spiders again, but they didn't 
have a choice. They curled up, clinging to me. Took a lot 
to calm them down. Really didn't like spiders. | woke up 
to one of them crawling across my face. | kept dreaming 
seeing Ellie wrapped in a cocoon. The webs are 
particularly thick today. Gotta tell sis. I'm cured, | hope. - 
R. Argent 


+ EVALUATE CORRESPONDENCE SAVED UNDER MORPHEUS-4 


SAVED COMMUNICATION FROM SCP-IM 
SYSTEM 


RodArg: Hi sis. Feeling better. 


CArgent: Jesus, bro. There you are. I've been 
worried sick. | heard about your assistant. My 
condolences. 


RodArg: Yeah. She was good. It's still so 
confusing. | don't know why she got a lethal 
dose of SCP-3966-A. | was so worried I'd die if 
| slept. | haven't tested my CSF, but | know the 


signs. 
CArgent: How about the D-class? 


RodArg: They're still alive. They were never 
given a sleep aid, and when | realized | was 
sleeping okay, | brought them into the 
containment chamber with me. 


CArgent: Containment chamber? ...I'm not 
going to ask. | think I'm okay. This whole thing 
got me so nervous, | worried | was infected 
every time | twitched. 


RodArg: Oh, god, sorry, sis. Here | am, talking 
about myself, and not even thinking about 
what this is all doing to you. 


CArgent: | do that falling thing once or twice a 
night anyway. Probably nothing's changed. 


RodArg: Good. So do you think these are 4D 
proteins? 


CArgent: The math works out better that way. 
That's why the carboxyl group is missing, it's 
attached to the next amino acid, still, but we 
can't see it. 


RodArg: How could we see it? Actually, how 
could we not see it? 


CArgent: Let's see if | can explain... You've 
heard of Flatland, right? 


RodArg: A 2D world where everyone is 
shapes? 


CArgent: That's the one. Now you're a 3D 
guy, so if you're standing over Flatland, 
looking at someone's house, you can see 
everything in it at once. Which room the 


residents are in, what's in the cupboard, all 
that. But the residents couldn't ever see you, 
at all. That's because you aren't in Flatland, 
you're above it, and there's no "above" in 
Flatland. 


RodArg: So I'd have to reach into Flatland to 
be seen? 


CArgent: Exactly. And if you reach out and 
touch Flatland with your finger, all they'd see is 
your fingertip. 


RodArg: So... | might only see the slightest bit 
of a 4D creature, but it could still see all of me. 


CArgent: You got it. That's not even the 
coolest part, though. You could reach into their 
kitchen cabinet, pull out a cup, and place it on 
the table, without ever opening the cabinet. 


RodArg: Wait, if I'm seeing everything in the 
house, even inside the cabinet... Am | also 
seeing everything inside the people? Where | 
can touch it? 


CArgent: Yes. 


RodArg: ...You know, Grandpa died in his 
sleep. 


CArgent: Yeah. That was what, 20 years ago? 
| still miss him. It was a stroke, right? 


RodArg: | had a friend pull the old autopsy 
report. They actually didn't know. Just said it 
was old age. 


CArgent: Why, you think it was something 
else? 


RodArg: | dropped a test tube, but it only had 


SCP-3966-B. People twitch and move around, 
but they only end up with B in their systems. If 
| tried to reach into a Flatlander, and they 
moved, they'd pull me along, right? 


CArgent: Right. Similarly, your pull would be 
an acceleration. It could be felt, too. 


RodArg: But it would be in a direction you 
wouldn't notice. The only way it would make 
sense would be a fall... I've got to run one last 
experiment. If this works, I'll need to update 
the description. Thanks, sis. Stay safe and 
sleep well. 


Experiment 3966-10 


Protocol: A matrix of glass micropipettes, each patch 
clamped with an N-type calcium channel, is prepared. A 
single optical fiber is threaded to the tip of each pipette. 
The apparatus is then placed in an isotonic solution of 
25% SCP-3966-A. Upon reconfiguration of the calcium 
channels into pores, the fibers are inserted into the pores 
and visual results recorded. 


Result: Reconfiguration of channels into pores 
completed. Optical fibers were inserted a distance of 10 
um into the pore past the end of each pipette. External 
microscopy indicated no extension of the fiber past the 
end of the pipette. In this configuration, an image was 
successfully generated. 


+ EVALUATE IMAGE SAVED UNDER MORPHEUS-4 
Footnotes 


1. The C-terminus is a carboxyl group (-COOH) that appears at the 
end of every protein chain. 


SCP-3967: Paul the Living Balloon 


Item #: SCP-3967 
Object Class: Safe 
Threat Level: Green 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3967 is currently housed 
at Site-17 and is allowed to freely roam the facility under supervision 
of at least one (1) Level 1 researcher. It is allowed to have a fully 
furnished housing unit located in the staff housing wing. When not in 
its housing unit, SCP-3967 is to be equipped with a tracking bracelet 
attached to one of its arms or legs, even when under supervision. 
SCP-3967 should not be allowed near exceptionally sharp objects 
including but not limited to kitchen knives, needles, and saw blades. 


SCP-3967 is allowed daily meetings with Site-17’s psychiatry staff. If 
SCP-3967 enters a distressed state, it is to be brought to its housing 
unit and left alone. Every morning and evening, SCP-3967 is to be 
shown a handwritten or electronic journal of the events that 
transpired the previous day. Any edits, entries, or changes made to 
this journal are to be reported to Dr. . Similarly, any alterations 
to SCP-3967’s memory loss rate are to be reported immediately to 
Dr.