Using the ideas of micro and macro-cosmic beings, there is some 
speculation about whether or not our world is a particle of something 
greater29. The structure of the universe itself bears a remarkable 
resemblance to neurons in the brain, thus this idea has gained 
footing in some astrophysicists. This theory is accompanied by the 
fact that black holes have behavior that is very similar to nuclear 
membranes. The event horizon is double-layered, and prevents 
anything that enters from leaving, the nuclear membrane separates 
cell fluids, preventing mixing, and regulates the exchange of matter 


between the inside and outside of the nucleus. Black holes and 
living cells also both emit pockets of electromagnetic radiation, 
among other similarities. 


Foundation understanding of this phenomena is considered of vast 
importance. However, many beings that contemplate their own 
means of contemplation can very well be driven mad from such 
thoughts. 


It is recommended than any of those who start to show signs of 
obsession with this conundrum report to the nearest medical bay as 
soon as possible. Amnestic treatment may be necessary to avoid 
further mental harm. 


Addendum META-EX-J-1A: 


As of this article's inception on / / __, discussion of the content is 
highly polarizing and often yields conflicting or erroneous 
information. As such, debate over META-EX-J has often concluded 
in hissy fits, with one or more such debates ending in participants 
standing in the corner of a room until they have learned their lesson. 
No bickering is allowed, not no way, not no how. 


Transcription Log Meta-EX-J-VOTMZRIG303132; 


Note: This discussion took place on the 'Discussion' 
page for SCP-META-EX-J. Handles have been redacted 
to preserve anonymity and the page has since been 
purged of these comments. Notice the resemblance to 
true sentience. All individuals possess the anomalous 
effect to a degree. 


[BEGIN LOG] 


: SCP-META-EX-J? Alright, weird. | like the concept 
but the fake ‘page not found' thing doesn't really do it for 
me. -1 


: (IN response to ‘s comment) What are you 
talking about? That part was the best bit. The coding was 
pretty funny. Although | will say, the article content isn't 


really that top-notch. 


TheBillith (Article creator): | dunno. | thought it was 
funny. It's the juxtaposition between the hilarity of joke 
skips and the improper writing formats of some posters 
that is hard to get. You gotta maintain that satire without 
compromising the article itself. 


: +1. That threw me through a loop! Haha 
Page rating seems to dive a bit a this point. 
TheBillith: | added a transcript log. Is that good? 


:-1. The not-found page is tedious and it wears 
down the joke pretty fast. Plus, it is nonsensical. The 
article isn't even that funny. | don't like the pseudo- 
philosophical bits because they meander and don't really 
go anywhere. 


: (IN response to ‘s comment) | second the 
notion that the splash page is kind of annoying. And 
what if someone links straight to the page instead of 
going through the first bit? They aren't going to get that 
joke. Especially the interview thing at the end. 


: Yeah, that might have been a bad idea upon 
retrospect. Considering rescinding my upvote. 


: | don't like format. Change now. 


TheBillith proceeds to bash his head against a wall for 
the next seventeen hours. Dies from brain damage 
shortly thereafter. No signs of SCP-META-EX-J are 
present in his body. Subject considered lost. Page is 
deleted and life goes on. 


[END LOG] 


Footnotes 
1. What is it with this tone of voice? Please don't coldpost, even if it 
isn't your first article. 


refusing to lower it until given its own record back. SCP-537 
continues to refuse to communicate with Dr. 


Document #537-2: Experiment 537/043-1 


SCP-043 and a second functioning turntable were introduced to 
SCP-537, overseen by Agent _. Transcript follows: 


(SCP-043 plays to track 9. Heavy breathing is heard.) 
Agent __: He's here now, 537. Say hello. 

(SCP-537 plays "Wilkommen!" from Cabaret) 

SCP-043 [during song]: Hello? What's that sound? 
(SCP-537 makes a scratching sound but continues 
playing "Wilkommen!") 

SCP-043 [during song]: This is the record player you told 
me about? Is there a way to shut it up? 

Agent [during song]: 537 can't play another song until 
it finishes the one it's playing. 

SCP-043 [during song]: How annoying. 

(Song ends.) 

SCP-043: Right then, that was... lovely. I'm just 
supposed to... converse... with you, so, how are you, | 
suppose? 

(SCP-537 begins playing "Sunshine, Lollipops and 
Rainbows" by Lesley Gore) 

SCP-043: Oh, wonderful... 

(Song ends.) 

SCP-043: Right. Let's talk about me, then. Is there 
something you want to know about me? 

(SCP-537 raises and lowers its needle, denoting an 
affirmative answer.) 

SCP-043: And what would you like to know? 

(SCP-537 begins playing "Here Comes The Sun" by The 
Beatles) 

SCP-043 [during song]: Why are you playing that song? 
What do you think I- 

(SCP-537 raises its volume.) 

SCP-043 [during song]: <inaudible, underneath music> 
(Song ends, SCP-537 immediately begins playing the 
same song again.) 


2.We can't be completely sure of this.- Dr. Graham. 

3.Why would you consider that an option?- Dr. J 

4.It's because Dr. Graham doesn't know what he is talking about.- 
Dr. Harkness. 

5.YOUR MOM DOESN'T KNOW WHAT SHE'S TALKING ABOUT!- 
Dr. Graham. 

6.Ohoo, nice one. I'm very offended right now.- Dr. Harkness. 
7.Do you all want to be reprimanded? Discussion closed until further 
research has proven useful.- Dr. Gears. 

8. Although some evidence has shown the possibility of this 
anomaly to have stretched as far back as 4.5 billion years ago. 

9. Attempts have been made and have proven to be close, but not 
quiiiite close enough to render this statement false. 

10. Use of passive voice is frowned upon when submitting these 
articles. Please review your works on the sandbox before 
submitting. The forums are available as a means to polish off your 
work. No, | did not post this article in the forums, | wanted it to be a 
surprise. 

11. That's not passive voice, that's a rhetorical question. Still 
unacceptable. By the way, nowhere in our guides and writing 
templates do we actually condemn passive voice. I'll bet two 
thousand mainlist articles use passive voice. What are you, some 
kind of tonal nazi? 

12. And furthermore, active voice would sound really weird being 
used in this format. Show me one article that actually uses active 
voice in their clinical documentation. 

13. Wait, who am | talking to? Where am |? 

14. Conjecture. Deletion imminent. 

15. Colloquialism. Seriously? 

16. Redundant. Please fix this. 

17. No, it cannot. 

18. Please remove this statement, as it adds nothing to the article 
and lacks the formal template of accepted Foundation standards. 
19. Marine life, order Hydrozoa, phylum Cnidaria. 

20. Spelling errors detract from immersion. Fix this as soon as 
possible. 

21. Humans pending Maksur classification. 

22.Humanity itselfpending Maksur classification. 

23.1 don't think it is.- Dr. Graham 

24.That's some hippy-dippy bullshit if you ask me.- Dr. J 


25.Why is this so hard to believe? The world is, like, alive and we 
are parts of it. We all came from the same origins. We are star stuff, 
man.- Dr. Florio. 

26.Who let Florio into the stash ofour shit?- Dr. J 

27.Actually, modern science explains most of this phenomena.- 
Dr.Harkness. 

28. Aside fromcertain exceptions. 

29. Dr. Seuss,Horton Hears a Who!(New York: Random House, 
1954) 

30. What are these jumbled letters? | mean, we get Latin, some 
Greco-Roman mythos names, we get ominous wordplay and you 
chose to just mash on your keyboard? 

31. | think it's encrypted reverse ATBASH. 

32. Yeah, definitely, but it still doesn't make sense. -1 


SCP-1912-J: The Land of [REDACTED] 


Item #: SCP-1912-J 
Object Class: Safe (we promise we don't bite) 


Special Containment Procedures: Containment of SCP-1912-d is 
to fail at every possible opportunity. The cost and ridiculousness of 
keeping an object as large as SCP-1912-J hidden from the general 
population is too great a burden on the Foundation’s resources. 
Methods of failing SCP-1912-J's containment may include, but are 
not limited to: education campaigns, economic development, tourism 
advertisements and complaining on social media. 


Description: SCP-1912-J is the entire state of New Mexico in the 
United States. SCP-1912-J measures 550km by 595km, with a total 
area of 315,000 km2, located between latitudes 31°20’ to 37° N and 
longitudes 103° to 109°3’ W. SCP-1912-J also contains over 
2,085,000 instances of SCP-1912-J-1, which are capable of rapid 
self-replication, and communicate through such methods as Navajo, 
Spanish and English. 


The anomalous activity of SCP-1912-J extends to its near-universal 
amnestic effects on witnesses. Regardless of its massive size, 
mention in school lessons and obvious showing on maps, almost all 
humans have no active memory that SCP-1912-J exists. The results 
of this effect include: 


* Incarceration of SCP-1912-J-1 instances as non-American 
nationals. 

¢ Expectation that SCP-1912-J-1 instances produce passports 
on domestic travel. 

¢ Mislabeling of SCP-1912-J on maps as “Mexico” or “Arizona” 
by respected institutions, such as The New York Times and its 
magazine. 

* Surprise that SCP-1912-J-1 instances exhibit a high degree of 
English fluency. 


This effect does not appear to extend to non-human organisms, who 
have no awareness of SCP-1912-J's presence, nor of most political 
boundaries in the first place. 


SCP-1912-J's development dates to the Treaty of Guadalupe 
Hidalgo in 1848 after an anomalous tectonic land-shift saw the 
region transfer between Mexico and the United States. The creation 
of SCP-1912-J occurred on January 6, 1912 when 490 old white- 
men in Washington, D.C., over 3000 km away, chanted and brought 
the object into being. Whether these men have any connection to 
The Church of the Broken God is still under investigation. 


SCP-1912-J-1 instances have also been observed vaguely following 
the directions of a “Governor,” now classified as SCP-1912-J-2, who 
makes containment failure less attractive. 


Addendum 1912-J-A: Due to the continued containment success of 
SCP-1912-J against the Foundation’s best efforts, the use of 
SCP-1912-J as a thaumiel-class object is currently under 
consideration by the O5 Council. 


Addendum 1912-J-B: Testing Log 
+ Testing Series A 


Test #: 1912-J-A-001 

Procedures: A gaggle of 5 teenage males are told about 
the existence of SCP-1912-J. 

Results: Subjects forget the existence of SCP-1912-J 
within 3.5 minutes. 


Test #: 1912-J-A-002 

Procedures: A gaggle of 5 teenage females are told 
about the existence of SCP-1912-J. 

Results: Subjects forget the existence of SCP-1912-J 
within 4 minutes. 


Test #: 1912-J-A-005 

Procedures: A gaggle of 5 D-class personnel are told 
about the existence of SCP-1912-J. 

Results: 4 subjects forget the existence of SCP-1912-J 


within 8 minutes, but D-95782 laments having committed 
murder selling methamphetamines there. D-95782 is 
subsequently terminated for being less interesting than 
the television series. 


Test #: 1912-J-A-017 

Procedures: An expert in American history is told about 
the existence of SCP-1912-J. 

Results: Subject acknowledges SCP-1912-J's 
existence, but cannot find its location on a map. 


Test #: 1912-J-A-052 

Procedures: An instance of SCP-1912-J-1 is told about 
the existence of SCP-1912-J. 

Results: Subject stares blankly at Foundation personnel. 


+ Testing Series B 


Test #: 1912-J-B-008 

Procedures: Multiple SCP-1092 instances are released 
into SCP-1912-J. 

Results: All SCP-1092 instances accidentally 
neutralized due to lack of water for survival. 


Test #: 1912-J-B-014 

Procedures: SCP-682 is released into SCP-1912-J. 
Results: SCP-682 disappears from Foundation 
personnel after 3 days, presumed contained. SCP-1912- 
J-1 instances noticeably more agitated. SCP-1912-J-2 
was not available for comment. 


Test #: 1912-J-B-021 

Procedures: Dr. Bright is released into SCP-1912-J. 
Results: Within 3 hours, Dr. Bright had been made 
“Governor” of the SCP-1912-J-1 instances, who cited his 
superior responsibility to the current SCP-1912-J-2. 


SCP-1840-J: The Hard Sell 


Item #: SCP-1840-J 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1840-J is not currently 
contained. Any telephone calls directed to the Foundation by 
SCP-1840-J should be re-routed immediately to Researcher 
Seaward. Under no circumstances should unauthorized personnel in 
contact with SCP-1840-J agree to purchase, rent, lease, borrow or 
take any item, object or being offered by the SCP-1840-J entity or 
through associated third parties. If any Foundation personnel are 
already in possession of an object or being obtained through 
SCP-1840-J, they are under strict instruction to promptly turn in the 
object or being, with full amnesty being granted if the SCP-1840-J 
customer can demonstrably prove that the purchase was made 
before the Foundation was aware of SCP-1840-J hazardous 
properties. 


Description: SCP-1840-J exhibits traits of what is commonly 
referred to as a telemarketer. SCP-1840-J will periodically approach 
Foundation personnel in any capacity over a telephone and offer a 
brief and often exaggerated description of a item in its possession, 
followed by a negotiable price and means of payment, which is 
usually, although not always, SCP-1840-J supplying a location 
where the purchased item may be found, instructing the customer to 
leave the agreed amount of money in that location. SCP-1840-J has 
always honored its agreement with the customer. SCP-1840-J's 
voice is similar to that of a young male with a cheerful and arrogant 
temperament. 


Items offered by SCP-1840-J are occasionally of simple monetary or 
curiosity value, such as fossilized dinosaur remains or diamond 
rings, but are more often anomalous artifacts of potency that ranges 
from Safe to highly dangerous Euclid-level artifacts. Researcher 
Seaward is under orders to purchase any item of sufficient threat for 


immediate containment. Despite the potentially huge monetary value 
of items sold by SCP-1840-d, the prices it opens with are usually 
extremely conservative, with a case of a Euclid-level artifact being 
bought for less than £5,000. SCP-1840-J displays a willingness to 
negotiate prices, and has been observed to accept less than 30% of 
the starting value. It will also occasionally offer items for free if a 
customer has proven sufficiently entertaining to it. 


+ Log 1840A SCP-1840 First Contact 
[CALL BEGINS 12:41, 12/08/ ] 


Dr. Richter: —sorry, | must take this. Ah, 
hello? 


SCP-1840-J: Hi there! Dr. Richter? Just the 
man. | have quite the offer for you today. 
Listen to this—how would you like to own a 
real-life fossilised dinosaur bone? Genuine 
article. Barely used! 


Dr. Richter: What? Who is this? How—wait. In 
what sense is a dinosaur bone ‘barely used’? 


SCP-1840-J: Well, y’see, this fossilised tibia is 
a big 65 million years old, and it’s only been 
inside a dinosaur for a tiny, tiny fraction of that 
time. It’s practically fresh! 


Dr. Richter: Who are you? How did you get 
my number? 


SCP-1840-J: Alright, | admit it. Previous owner 
wasn't careful. Got blown up by an asteroid. 
Nice burn marks though. Oh, c’mon! I’m only 
asking for a fair go. | know archaeologists 
who'd sell their own tibia bone for a chance at 
this beauty. It’s a Tyrannosaur bone. King of 
the Jungle! Or the primordial swamp, really. 


Dr. Richter: | don’t—