SCP-1807-A refers to human voices that can be heard from within 
SCP-1807-1. As of the time of writing, twenty-seven (27) separate 
voices have been distinguished and subsequently matched to 
persons that have disappeared from the town of , Florida, 
including [REDACTED] Instances of SCP-1807-A can be heard 
communicating exclusively with each other, either due to inability to 
hear outside voices or unwillingness to acknowledge them. See 
Audio Log-1807-Alpha for a sample of these voices. 


SCP-1807 was discovered in the aforementioned town when 
Foundation agents responded to reports of claims of a "children- 
eating horse" at a petting zoo. The corpse itself was found on the 
kitchen floor of a house belonging to Watts, the owner of the 
petting zoo, upon further investigation. The entirety of the Watts 
family has been officially reported as missing. Due to the nature of 
the anomalous event and the inefficiency of distributing amnestics to 
all persons involved, Foundation personnel have begun to 
disseminate multiple urban legends regarding this event to local 
peoples. 


Audio Log-1807-Alpha: 


SCP-1807-A-011: Just come over here, , I'm gonna 
take care of you and keep you safe. Just walk right on 
over to me... 


SCP-1807-A-022: Like hell you're gonna do that, you 
sonuvabitch. Stay away from that man, 


SCP-1807-A-033: Yes, daddy. 


SCP-1807-A-01: Come on old man, | just want to help 
out here, keep everyone safe while we figure out what 
the heck is going on here. We all just need to stick 
together, like we all did before you came along. 


SCP-1807-A-03: /whimpers] 


SCP-1807-A-02: You're not gettin’ any closer to any of 
these kids, you sick freak. I'll be damned to hell if, in 
fact, I'm not already there— before | say | was glad | got 
here, but I'd rather burn than leave you alone with any of 
these youngsters. 


[Unclear audio; many screams and sounds indicative of 
an altercation] 


Addendum-1807-Omicron: On 16/02/2006, several humanoids 
attired in vintage diving costumes, hereby designated SCP-1807-B, 
manifested at several locations within and around Site 23 and 
demanded the usage of SCP-1807. The following log comprises the 
first interaction with these entities. 


Interviewed: SCP-1807-B-01 
Interviewer: Agent Fredricks 


Foreword: The entity speaks in broken English, using 
improper grammar and words from unidentified 
languages. Foundation linguists have edited this log for 
greater understanding of the entity's speech and content. 
An unabridged version of this log is available in Records 
Room 45, File Cabinet 4837. 


<Begin Log> 
Fredricks: Who are you? 


SCP-1807-B-01: Just a man, captain. Like you. I've 
come to get what was stolen from me. 


Fredricks: A man? As in, ahuman? And why are you 
wearing that diving suit? 


SCP-1807-B-01: | am a man, most certainly, and as 
human as | can ever be. The suit's just a thin layer of ice, 
barely keeping me from falling in. But that's neither here 
nor there. Just give me the llama. 


Fredricks: [holds up picture of SCP-1807] This? 


SCP-1807-B-01: /nods] Yep. That's her. Isn't she 
beautiful? Oh <UNKNOWN: "SHABAVE"s, | just cannot 
wait to get back on the flow with her. Bring her here. 


Fredricks: Sure, sure. But before we can do that, you 
have to tell us a bit about it. 


SCP-1807-B-01: You mean, "her." And I'm just gonna 
have to decline you there, captain. You've no business 
knowing our secrets. 


Fredricks: Well, it'll take a while to get it anyways. 
What's it used for? 


SCP-1807-B-01: /grunts, then remains silent for ten (10) 
seconds] Can't get home without her. 


Fredricks: And where is that? 

SCP-1807-B-01: /silence] 

Fredricks: Why do people get absorbed into it? 
SCP-1807-B-01: They got what we need. 
Fredricks: And what's that? 


SCP-1807-B-01: <UNKNOWN: "FRAVA'"S>. To put it in 
simpler, more... frivolous terms, heat. 


Fredricks: And what do you use it for? 


SCP-1807-B-01: To power everything that we can't. To 
fuel our world. To kill our enemies. Now, I'm not here 
asking for much— hell, I'm not even gonna try to take 
any more from your world— | just need the horse. Or 
sheep. Whatever the hell it is you have in this world, 
they're all fucking weird. Point is, just give me the animal 
so we can leave. That's all I'm asking. Please. The flood 
upon us and the drought's encroaching. 


Fredricks: I'm afraid we can't— 


SCP-1807-B-01: /s/ams fist into wall] You listen here, 
you <UNKNOWN: "THRAB MOKE PLIRN"S>, we're 
gonna die if you don't fetch that alpaca right this second. 
My family is going to die. My mayor is gonna die. There's 
people starving in the sewers, unable to even move or 
send out searchlights. My church is even running out of 
candles, and let me tell you, they never run out of 
candles. I've only got enough heat to last a few minutes 
more here, so you best make up your mind right now 
before | make it for you. 


Fredricks: I'm sorr— 
<End Log> 


Closing Statement: At this point, SCP-1807-B-01 
separated into several sections, as naturally divided by 
the diving suit, and quickly began moving along a variety 
of hallways and corridors in apparent search for 
SCP-1807. This revealed that there was no physical form 
present within the suit during the interview. After a few 
minutes of this action, all instances of SCP-1807-B 
demanifested. Security has been informed of this 
incident and will report any future manifestations of 
SCP-1807-B. 


Footnotes 

1. This voice has been positively identified as belonging to 
Rogers, a known sex offender and pedophile. 

2. This voice has been positively identified as belonging to 


Watts, 


a rancher. 
3. This voice has been positively identified as belonging to Watts, 
daughter of Watts. 


« SCP-1806 | SCP-1807 | SCP-1808 » 


SCP-1808: Spongebob Watches 


Item #: SCP-1808 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1808-1 through 
SCP-1808-6 are to be kept within a shared containment locker in 
Safe Wing-C at Sector-25. Any use of SCP-1808 outside of a strictly 
monitored testing environment is prohibited. 


Description: SCP-1808 is the collective designation of six yellow 
plastic wristwatches decorated with green polka dots and images of 
SpongeBob SquarePants, a popular cartoon character from the 
children's television series of the same name. SCP-1808 operates 
and is powered via anomalous means, as all watches function 
normally despite the apparent removal of all interior mechanical 
components. 


SCP-1808's main anomalous properties manifest when it is worn by 
a human being or any other creature possessing limbs and phalanx 
bones. Once affixed to a subject, SCP-1808 can only be removed by 
the individual who originally fastened it. Every quarter hour, 
SCP-1808 will play a sound bite of the Spongebob character's 
distinctive laugh, and the distal, intermediate, and proximal 
phalanges (bones of the fingers and toes) of the limb upon which 
SCP-1808 is worn will grow in length by approximately 6cm. The 
growth will continue every quarter hour until either SCP-1808 is 
removed from the subject or SCP-1808's adjustment knob is 
retracted, halting the watch's timekeeping functions. Subjects 
experience little to no blood loss when the phalanges penetrate the 
subject's flesh; however, afflicted individuals have reported the 
growth to be immensely painful. 


When SCP-1808's adjustment knob is retracted and rotated 
clockwise, the hands on the watch rotate accordingly, resulting in 
accelerated phalangeal growth. Rotating the knob in the opposite 


direction reverses the growth process. If the process is completely 
reversed, the bones will cease shortening once returned to their 
original length and all areas of flesh damaged by the protruding 
phalanx bones will be instantly healed. Subjects who have the 
effects reversed in this way bear no evidence of the previous 
physical trauma, although any psychological trauma resulting from 
the experience will be retained. If two instances of SCP-1808 are 
fastened together and placed around a subject's neck, the subject's 
teeth lengthen in a similar manner. 


Recovery Log: SCP-1808 was one of SCP objects retrieved on 
26/04/2004 from a Marshall, Carter & Dark, Ltd. auction house in 
Somerset, England, during a raid on the facility carried out by Mobile 
Task Force Eta-2 ("Buyer Beware"). The raid had been initiated after 
Agent Rosser, an undercover field agent working within the auction 
house, failed to check in with operatives at Sector-25 for over 24 
hours. Rosser was found behind the curtain of the auction stage, 
bound to a chair with all six instances of SCP-1808 attached to his 
body: one on each wrist and ankle, and two fastened together 
around his neck. Once apprehended, the Marshall, Carter & Dark 
employee who placed the watches on Agent Rosser agreed to 
cooperate in the removal and containment of SCP-1808. 


+ Interview Log 
Interviewed: Agent Rosser 
Interviewer: Dr. 


Foreword: Transcription of the post-rescue 
video interview with Agent Rosser, who was 
captured and tortured by Marshall, Carter & 
Dark personnel on 27/04/2004. 


Dr. : Kindly summarize the events 
leading up to your abduction. 


Agent Rosser: Not much to summarize. | 
went to sleep in my flat and woke up tied to a 
table. Maybe they drugged me, maybe they 
used an artifact, who knows? 


Dr. : How did Marshall, Carter & Dark 
come to discover your identity as a Foundation 
field agent? 


Agent Rosser: That's the funny thing. | never 
spoke a word to anyone about being 
Foundation. Not my friends, not my loved 
ones, no one. And | only contacted base 
through the standard [DATA EXPUNGED], 
and we both know that's untraceable. You see, 
| don't think they were even aware | was 
Foundation. If they were, they would have 
called off the auction and gotten their goods 
the hell outta there. 


Dr. : If your identity wasn't compromised, 
why were you abducted and tortured? 


Agent Rosser: They weren't doing it to get 
information out of me. | think it was... (Pause.) 
| think it was quality assurance. Testing the 
product, making sure it worked. Experimenting 
with it. And if the raid hadn't happened, they 
would have put me on stage and 
demonstrated it. 


Dr. : | see. What events transpired in the 
timeframe between your abduction and your 
rescue? 


Agent Rosser: Like | said, | woke up in a dark 
room. Recognized it as the basement. There 
were a few other blokes there who were also 
tied up. Coworkers who'd been hired around 
the same time | was. A couple of the senior 
staff members came downstairs with the 
auction items, said they were "downsizing," 
and started using us as guinea pigs. | got the 
Spongebob watches. You know, | used to like 
Spongebob. | saw a couple of episodes. Pretty 
funny stuff for a kid's show. But after hearing 


that damn laugh over and over again while the 
bones in my toes stabbed holes in my shoes, | 
wouldn't mind throwing that voice actor out a 
window or two. 


Dr. : Please try to stay on topic, Agent 
Rosser. 


Agent Rosser: Right. Sorry. First they just 
strapped the watches to my wrists and ankles 
and waited. After they were sure the things 
went off every fifteen minutes, they started 
twisting the little knobs. They'd twist them and 
twist them until my bones started cracking 
against the walls. Then they'd reel 'em back in 
and start over. (Pause.) You know how the 
Foundation does the bamboo-under-the-nails 
thing to train field agents to withstand torture? 
This was worse. It was from the inside. The 
ends of my fingers were worn off and peeled 
back like an old pair of gloves. And | was 
lucky; most of my coworkers didn't survive the 
products that were tested on them. 


Dr. : When you were discovered, two of 
the watches had been joined together and 
fastened around your neck. 


Agent Rosser: (Si/ence.) 
Dr. : Agent Rosser? 


Agent Rosser: The MC&D guys didn't think it 
was enough. They said the effect was okay, 
but they needed a way to ... improve it. 
(Exhale.) One of them suggested putting two 
together around my neck. My teeth started 
getting longer, like my fingers and toes. But 
they didn't go straight, they went off in different 
directions. Some went ... inside. And every 
time they grew longer the watches played that 


damn laugh. And those bastards ... they ... 
they ... loved ... it. 


(At this point, Agent Rosser utilized the 
sickness bag provided for him.) 


Dr. : | think that's all we need to know. 
Thank you very much for your time. 


Addendum: The following is a product description of SCP-1808 
found in copies of an auction catalogue that was to be distributed at 
the event: 


Lot #14 


Six adult-sized wristwatches decorated with illustrations 
of a popular cartoon character. 

These timepieces may appear cheap and tasteless at 
first glance, but rest assured that their inconspicuous 
appearance conceals a deeply valuable and mysterious 
effect. Those who wear these watches are inflicted with 
substantial pain in fifteen minute intervals. The effect can 
be activated manually, if desired, and can also be 
completely undone to remove any evidence of mischief. 
These watches are the only products in existence with 
such uncanny abilities, and businesses or individuals 
wishing to carry out quick, efficient, and mess-free 
interrogations would be remiss in missing this once-in-a- 
lifetime opportunity to acquire them, as would our 
patrons with tastes for intimate sessions of impassioned 
discomfort. 


Starting bid: £14,800 
« SCP-1807 | SCP-1808 | SCP-1809 » 


SCP-1809: Microscopic Cellular Housing Enthusiasts 


Item #: SCP-1809 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1809-A is to be housed 
within a containment cell furnished suitably as a living area. Item 
requests are to reviewed prior to approval or denial. The cell is to be 
monitored, and all regurgitations and/or excretions are to be 
analysed prior to disposal or storage. SCP-1809-A is to be fed twice 
daily as per Protocol SF-01. Microscopic analysis is to be conducted 
within a separate area in which individual instances of SCP-1809-1 
may be observed and/or extracted. 


Description: SCP-1809 is a collective of sapient microscopic 
organisms inhabiting cytoplasms within most permanent and 
quiescent cell types within a human male, (referred to as 
SCP-1809-A). SCP-1809 is a former arborist with no professional 
links to cellular biology, cellular experimentation or other possible 
origin for SCP-1809's effect; SCP-1809-A claims to have been 
entirely oblivious to SCP-1809 inhabitants prior to discovery. 
SCP-1809 was discovered following SCP-1809-A's apparently 
unrelated skin cancer resulting in a cellular defect, to which a 
specialist private cancer treatment facility were referred, healing the 
impairment; SCP-1809 was discovered during a follow-up 
microscopic analysis of the affected area, in which the surrounding 
unaffected cells exhibited anomalies later identified as instances of 
SCP-1809-1. 


SCP-1809-1, the individual microscopic inhabitants of SCP-1809-A, 
resemble exoskeletal crustaceans. Instances of SCP-1809-1 emit 
intermittent pulsations of light from within an interior source; 
extensive observation reveals SCP-1809-1 to be constantly 
communicating via morse code. Topics of conversation primarily 
consist of the wellbeing of SCP-1809-A (referred to as "Him" or "He" 
between SCP-1809-1) and "quality of life" between individual 


instances (see Addendum). Despite this, language analysis has 
proven difficult due to extensive time taken to emit light pulsations.