Jim Cyrus Beck cannot become a bee farmer. 
Jim Cyrus Beck is also allergic to honey. 

Jim Cyrus Beck can never affiliate himself with 


any bees of any k- 
Dr. Beck set down SCP-3556. 
<End Log> 


Foreword: SCP-3556 was presented with 
SCP-3556’s file. 


<Begin Log> 


SCP-3556: | am perfect in every way. No 
further comment. 


SCP-3556 remained silent for the remainder of 
the test. 


<End Log> 
Addendum-3556-2: Recovery 


SCP-3556 was recovered from the apartment of 

(Pol-3556), a writer and illustrator for various 
children’s books. Foundation agents planted in local 
police stations apprehended SCP-3556, as well as 
Pol-3556 and the personal journal of the subject as 
evidence following a suicide attempt by Pol-3556. Below 
are the most recent entries in Pol-3556’s journal 
pertaining to SCP-3556. 


jesus christ i cant get past this artists block. ive 
had 2 weeks to make a new character and 
nothing is coming up. come on brain think. 


i just doodled a little thing. looks kinda good. 
gonna sleep on it since im not to sure on it. 


holy shit it started talking. and it wont shut up. 
like at all. 


its judging an old draft i have. gotta admit, its 
actually kinda helpful. i might keep it around a 


bit longer. 


ok seriously it wont shut up. i just stuck it on 
my pen and it wont stop talking. also 
apparently metal pens are a fire hazard if you 
have kids. they could stick them in electrical 
sockets. 


note to self: get those little plastic covers for 
electrical sockets so i dont jab my pen in there 
and kill myself. 


this thing isnt making any sense. its never 
satisfied with any of my drafts and keeps 
finding something wrong to talk about. but its 
stuff that doesnt make sense. 


“current draft doesnt have enough swans” 
WHAT THE [EXPLETIVE] DOES THAT 
MEAN?! 


[The following page consists of 37 crude 
drawings of swans.] 


is this enough [EXPLETIVE] swans for you?! 
now there are too many swans. 


i cant sleep with that thing. every time i try to 
get close to it i feel like vomiting and i have to 
leave. 


what if i set my room on fire? 


what if i set myself on fire? cant listen to durbal 
if youre dead amiright? 


[EXPLETIVE] my lighter is in my bedroom. 
durbal is in my bedroom. maybe he will set 
himself on fire. 


can you be tried for murder if you burn a sticky 


SCP-459: Interplanetary Thermostat 


Item #: SCP-459 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-459 is to be kept 
unpowered in a standard security locker. The access code is to be 
changed bi-weekly and known to level 3 and higher personnel. 
Removal for testing purposes must be requested at least one week 
in advance, and approved by a level 4 personnel. As of 04/15/20 , 
testing has been indefinitely suspended. Proposals for use should 
be directed to O5-level personnel. 


Description: SCP-459 appears to be a standard home thermostat. 
The item is equipped with a small display, four buttons, and two 
dials on either side of the screen; the two buttons on the right side 
raise and lower temperature, and the other two appear to affect 
relative humidity in the area - However, these buttons will only work 
when both dials are set to the off position. The left dial (Dial 1) is 
marked with several standard weather conditions including "rain", 
"snow", and [DATA EXPUNGED]. The fourth and fifth positions’ 
lettering has worn off, and have been marked as 4 and 5. The fourth 
and fifth positions have been respectively designated "T-storm" and 
"Hurricane". The right dial (Dial 2) has different settings, all of 
which are unmarked. The rightmost positions on each dial are the 
"off" positions. 


SCP-459 can, when wired to a heating and cooling system, modify 
weather patterns in addition to temperature and humidity. The area 
of effect appears to be about 1,500 square feet (about 457 m?), the 
same amount as a modest home. How these effects are produced is 
currently unknown, as site-wide heating and cooling systems show 
no abnormalities in the area, even if the temperature is significantly 
different. Recent testing may suggest SCP-459 can access 
resources from other planets, and possibly other dimensions. 


note that yells at you? 


is ita crime to cause someone to go insane by 
yelling at them? if it is durbal is a wanted felon 
haha 


“hey police im gonna [EXPLETIVE] jump out a 
window cuz a sticky note is yelling at me” does 
that sound believable? 


ok ill try it if i die sucks to be me. 


all of my possessions go to durbal, my one 
true friend and worst enemy jesus 
[EXPLETIVE] i hate him see ya cruel world 


Subject was administered Class-B amnestics before 
being released to a local psychiatric hospital. Monitoring 
of subject for further anomalous activity is ongoing. 


SCP-3557: CK or OK? 


TIME: 0427 UTC EARTH 
DATE: DAY 18 MONTH 03 YEAR 2016 


WARNING TO ALL FOUNDATION SITES - CODE 
LEVEL RED - HIGHEST PRIORITY 


CERTAIN CK-CLASS SCENARIO DETECTED - 99.99% 
PROBABILITY 


6,738,281,472 DISCREPANCIES BETWEEN 
EXTRADIMENSIONAL SITE RECORDS AND 
FOUNDATION SITE RECORDS DETECTED 


ESTIMATED SEVERITY OF CK-CLASS EVENT IS 
TOTAL REALITY FAILURE 


ALL FOUNDATION SITES ARE TO INDEFINITELY 
ENTER LOCKDOWN IMMEDIATELY 


EQUIPMENT OPERATING STATUS: FUNCTIONING 
PROPERLY 


TIME: 0445 UTC EARTH 

DATE: DAY 18 MONTH 03 YEAR 2016 

CURRENT SITE STATUS 

SITE-01: LOCKDOWN - SECURE 

SITE-02: LOCKDOWN - SECURE 

SITE-03: LOCKDOWN - SECURE 

SITE-04: NOT RESPONDING - PRESUMED LOST 


SITE-06: LOCKDOWN - SECURE 

SITE-07: LOCKDOWN - SECURE 

SITE-08: PARTIAL LOCKDOWN - NOT SECURE 
SITE-09: LOCKDOWN - SECURE 

SITE-10: LOCKDOWN - SECURE 

OPEN FULL MESSAGE 

TIME: 0511 UTC EARTH 

DATE: DAY 18 MONTH 03 YEAR 2016 
ATTENTION ALL SITES - 05-3 UPDATE 

The Black Moon Howls to let us know it is still there. 
Universal lockdown declared over. 


It appears that the warning that was sent out 45 minutes 
ago was nothing more than a false alarm, or a device 
malfunction. We don't have any current indication of a 
CK-Class Scenario. Reality is safe. Proceed as normal 
and standby for future updates. 

— O5-3 VERIFIED OVERSEER ACCOUNT 


[ Submit Operational Clearance Level | 


From: 05-3 

To: O5 Council 

Subject: Events of 0427 UTC, 18/03/2016 — 
SCP-3557 

Date: 26/03/2016 


Everyone seems to have bought the cover 
story about a false alarm. That's good. Now 
we just need to figure out what actually 
happened. 


Yolas has gotten back to me. I've forwarded 
her initial documentation concerning the 
detected CK-Class scenario and her email to 
you. I'm scheduling a vote in 24 hours on the 
Special Containment Procedures she's 
created and to decide on an object class. 


opened attachment1 - preliminary3557.scp 


Item Number: SCP-3557 


Object Class: Pending! 


Special Containment Procedures: Any containment pro 
design and construction of more reliable and accurate dev 
of SCP-3557 itself is not possible, as it is an event that ha 
similar events falls under standard CK-Class Restructuring 


CK-Class Restructuring Procedures Abstract2 
Previous evidence regarding CK-Class Restructur 
possible to prevent such a scenario, as they may 
scenarios, the best course of action would be to p 
locations outside the theoretical range of effect for 
addition to multiple database backups for compari 
personnel in these locations would necessarily ha 
possible change, or, failing that, integrate into the 


$3,000,000 is to be allocated to the Ontokinetics Division 1 
CK-Class Scenario Detectors (CSDs). These new devices 
detect any potential changes to reality.3 Ontokinetics Divis 
localized, minor restructing events. 


Once all Mark II CSDs have been constructed and rigorou 
meet the Ontokinetics Division's guidelines on a reality-an 
Mark Il CSD, this could cost anywhere from $10,000,000 1 


Additional research is to be put into the refinement and de 
technology, with Boxes containing appropriate files to be c 


Ongoing research into the nature and origin of SCP-3557 


Description: SCP-3557 refers to an event believed to be 
magnitude that occurred at 0427 UTC on 03/18/2016. 


The only evidence for SCP-3557's occurrence is the simul 
Detectors) located at every extradimensionally located or | 
18/03/2016, all Foundation sites recieved an automated rr 


All CSDs used by the Foundation activated, giving the san 
While changes that were previously believed to be indicat 
CK-Class Scenario was observed.8 Detectors either deno' 
time, or became unsynced at that time. 


CSD Operation Theory? 

CK-Class Scenario Detectors will use a variety of 
CK-Class Scenario event. These devices will use 
the comparison of a live reading of a quality in bas 
qualities in both baseline and anchored realities, c 
baseline reality. The potential severity of a CK-Cle 
changes noted at any given time. Planned detecti 


1. Synced pseudo-random number generators 
designed to generate numbers in the same 

2. Kant and Geiger counters physically locatec 
monitoring baseline reality 

3. Atomic clocks synced to one another 

4. Regular database cross references, functior 
and comparing hashes to each other 

5. Applied thaumaturgical sensors set up to ali 
detected 

6. Electromagnetic sensors detecting any sudc 
radiation patterns in baseline 


However, despite the simultaneous activation of all equipr 
recorded between baseline reality before and after 0427 L 
Site Records and any Foundation Site Records have beer 
records.19 No differences or changes between reality befc 
personnel who were located in extradimensional sites or wv 


Under the operating terms of various Foundation/Gol treat 
Security Act and the SUSEOCT, information regarding the 
These groups have confirmed that a disturbance of some 


detected. Foundation moles in various other Gols have co 


Foundation assets deployed to investigate CSDs have cor 
without any noticeable flaws. A uniform malfunction of the 


SCP-3557 did not coincide with any heightened levels of ¢ 
potential to cause a CK-Class Scenario. No suitable causé 


Several theories have been created behind SCP-3557: 


1. SCP-3557 represents a CK-Class Scenario that afte 
affected extradimensional realities shortly afterward 
baseline reality, and then altered other realities to m 

2. SCP-3557 was not a CK-Class Scenario, but a prev 
the same ways that a CK-Class Scenario would.14 

3. SCP-3557 was a CK-Class Scenario that restructure 
identical to the original reality. CSDs detected chang 
message during that time. 

4. SCP-3557 was not a CK-Class Scenario, but a sudc 
failure of every CSD employed by the Foundation, v 


Footnotes 

1. I'll go over this in the email. The Division hasn't come to 
because we can't decide what the Object is.) -Dr. Yolas 

2. Excerpted here from the main guide on K-Class Scenar 
3. Some of the new ideas we've had suggested are Akiva 
our populations of 2608 in baseline all died off at 0427 UT 
extradimensional/anchored sites survived) -Dr. Yolas 

4. This is any site, area or Lol that is either extradimensior 
5. Yes, Boxes, not Anchors. | know we phased out Box us 
preserving information than Anchors. Reality accurate info 
situation. -Dr. Yolas 

6. We only put CSDs in places where they have an extern 
extradimensional or reality-anchored. This includes, for ex 
000,Exclusionary Site-01,Site-2000, orFacility T. -Dr. Yola 
7. Obviously, you know what I'm talking about, but | may v 
reference. -Dr. Yolas 

8. To note: changes were detected by all of our CSDs, but 
database crosschecker was set up to only tell us if there w 
us what they were: it was assumed we would be able to di 
9. I've excerpted a portion of the operation philosophy of c 


were using, since you asked. -Dr. Yolas 

10. That is to say, any differences we found were because 
noted were beyond what could normally be expected. -Dr. 
11. Some examples of personnel who were outside are pe 
theThird Antarctican Empire, or insideSCP-2627.- Dr. Yole 
12. I'm taking this as verification that this wasn't merely so 
13. Thus, the warning message was sent within the brief n 
associated realities. -Dr. Yolas 

14. CSDs and their operation procedures were specifically 
it. -Dr. Yolas 

15. No one in my Division thinks this. -Dr. Yolas 


opened attachment2 - re:whathappened.txt 


From: Ontokinetics Division Lead Researcher Dr. Leslie Y 
To: 05-3 

Subject: re: What happened? 

Date: 25/03/2016 


Dear O5-3, 
| wish | could give you some better answers than what yo 


To answer your first question: after the reception of SCP-< 
monitoring systems we used had been tripped and turned 
have activated. For instance, our synced atomic clocks be 
extradimensional sites had been unsynced, but there was 
cross checkers were only set up to register if there were d 
discrepancies actually were. The idea was that we'd have 


Next: no, we don't have an object class for SCP-3557 yet. 
The following have been suggested: 


¢ Extranormal Event: SCP-3557 is one and done wit 
* Apollyon: SCP-3557 may have already ended the \ 
new reality that may have nothing to do with the old 
¢ Keter: There is a possibility that SCP-3557 could he 
it does. It's nearly impossible to contain, so we have 
¢ None: SCP-3557 was a technical malfunction, not ¢ 


My official position on the matter of SCP-3557 is that | hav 
believe something anomalous happened. There is not a si 
majority of my Division shares in this belief. 


The first theory was that it was a CK that was a bit slow to 
message was sent in the lag period. However, | don't like ' 
affecting either of those locations. While we had theorized 
we've never thought it would be possible for a CK to affect 
Hub worlds came back and didn't find anything odd with w 
CSDs go off. Not only that, a CK like that would have had 
tell us when they've been breached - they didn't think they 


The second theory is that SCP-3557 is something that jus 
Scenarios without being one itself. Now, this sounds prom 
that while also not being a CK-Class scenario. For instanc 
level flux, but we would currently consider that to be a CK. 
to reality. 


You indicated in your letter that you were concerned that t 
triggering our alarms, either as a test of their abilities or as 
we have intensely high information security practices abot 
figured out how every mechanism of every single CSD fur 
set every mechanism off simultaneously would have to be 


The third theory is that SCP-3557 restructured reality ina 
reality was before the CK-Class scenario. This is theoretic 
wound up in its current state through an incredibly unlikely 
missed it. Both of these have the idea there was a brief flu 


The first event is incredibly unlikely, but entirely possible. 
gaps - we've only seen one total CK-Class shift, and every 
possibility that reality wants to snap back to its original sta 
back into after being destroyed was the original. Some in 1 
had attuned to our own - with plentiful information on base 
naive and overly hopeful thought. 


If something small was changed, it begs the question of w 
entire house and rebuilding it just to change a single wall. 
needed. It's certainly possible that something changed, bu 
considering is that some alien civilization caused the CK, « 
prove that. 


The last possibility that we've suggested is that there was 
to say that, at the very least, there was an anomalous mal 
absurd, and | won't waste any time on it. 


In short, we don't have a good explanation that accurately 
to proceed, but our best bet is to set up some blanket con' 
event, because the event itself doesn't really make much 
Class events was just enough to observe an event, but no 
man watching lightning and trying to figure out what happe 
going to figure it out.