Description: SCP-2336 is a sequence of phonemes, not known to 
correspond to any meaning in any living or known extinct language. 
Document 2336-A contains a representation of SCP-2336 in the 
International Phonetic Alphabet. 


The vocal articulation of this phoneme sequence by a human 
subject has been experimentally demonstrated to result in the 
formation of a Howard-Stross gateway! normally having a duration 
of 2 to 11 seconds. The formation of such a gateway frequently 
results in the arrival of a Type | or Type II tartarean entity 
(designated an instance of SCP-2336-A). 


Although instances of SCP-2336-A are frequently hostile, through 
trial and error the Foundation has developed a reliable protocol for 
containing them, communicating with them, documenting their 
characteristics, and (most recently) controlling them and applying 
their capabilities toward research purposes and other useful 
activities. An excerpt of the containment and processing log for 
instances of SCP-2336-A follows: 


Designation 
SCP-2336-A1 


SCP-2336-A8 


SCP-2336-A72 


SCP-2336-A210 


SCP-2336-A322 


SCP-2336-A416 


Description 


Application 


Non-sapient hexapod, Milked for chemical 


mass approx. 
1800 kg. Emits slime 
composed of high 
concentrations of 
sulfur and 
phosphorus. 
Non-sapient tetrapod 
with body plan 
superficially 
resembling a 
rhinoceros. Mass 


approx. 1200 kg. Body 
temperature in excess 


of 260 °C. Breathes 
fire. 

Sapient. Invisible 
(body plan assumed 
to be bipedal and 
winged). Capable of 
communicating in 
classical Arabic. 
During interviews, 
claims to be 
composed of 
"smokeless flame of 
fire." Capable of 
levitating. 

Sapient biped. 
Reddish hide. 


Sapient biped. 
Iridescent hide. 


Semi-sapient with 
irregular body plan. 


compounds for 
research and 
industrial use. 


Powers turbine to 
supply electricity to 
Site 38. 


Containment chamber 
integrated into 
elevator at Site 32 to 
economize energy 
use. 


Used as gas filter in 
modified Maxwell 
engine to overcome 
thermodynamics. 
Consciousness 
imprinted into Laplace 
processor for 
computational 
purposes. 

Flies crushed and 
processed for use as 


with no marshmallows. D-class reported them to taste very stale. 
"Best before" date on the box was several years ago. 


Money entered: 17 yen 

SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Unpowered 

Item description: A standard Nintendo "Game Boy" portable 
gaming system with the game "Tetris" already inserted. Staff 
reported a "extremely strong taste of blue raspberry in their mouths" 
while playing. 


Money entered: 755 yen 

SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Unpowered 

Item description: A bright yellow glass bottle with a black label. 
“Thunder Bar" was written in a variation of Czech on it, and under it 
read "warning, not for consumption by individuals under the age of 
48" in thick black letters. Inside was a red, somewhat viscous liquid. 
When opened by a class D personnel, who was 52, the bottle 
emitted a massive thunderclap measuring 140 dB, scaring and 
almost deafening her. When the liquid inside was drunk, the subject 
noted a raspberry taste before falling to the ground unconscious. 
Later tests confirm that the subject lost consciousness due to a 
massive amount of alcohol spontaneously entering her system. It is 
unknown how the alcohol entered her system, as the bottle resealed 
itself after subject lost consciousness. Another test was conducted 
with a subject who was 34 years old. Upon opening the bottle, the 
subject was vaporized when the thunderclap was produced. No 
further tests were administered. 


Money entered: 100 yen, and an additional 100 yen after punching 
in the numbers '100' into the machine. 

SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered 

Item description: The machine made no noise for about 5 seconds, 
and then spat 200 yen out of the coin return. A sticky note also 
came out of the machine, attached to a small yet smooth rock 
weighing about 1.5 kg. The sticky note read "Make up your mind", 
with an angry face drawn directly below this, all written with what 
seems to be permanent black marker. 


Money entered: One 500-yen coin with a hole drilled into it, with 


Capable of fertilizer and for other 
summoning an industrial purposes. 
apparently unlimited 
supply of live, non- 
anomalous Musca 
domestica from 
unknown source. 

SCP-2336-A666 Sapient biped. After negotiation, 
Interviews indicate exchanged for 
that SCP-2336-A666 recovery of personnel 
occupies a position of who had been lost 
authority in the society during a containment 
accessed by means ofbreach of SCP-1844. 
the gateway. 


Addendum 1: Further research indicates that under certain 
conditions, a vocal articulation of SCP-2336 is likely to result ina 
much larger Howard-Stross gateway, thereby presenting a risk that 
a much larger tartarean entity (possibly one or more Type VIII 
entities) could manifest. Analysis indicates that three exacerbating 
factors are: 


¢ Proximity of the human subject to( . °N, . °E) atthe 
time that SCP-2336 is articulated (that location is designated 
as Location K) 

¢ Whether the human subject is a member of Y-chromosomal 
haplogroup - . 

¢ Astronomical conditions specified in Appendix 2336-S. 


The manifestation of even one Type VIII entity would presumably 
constitute a Category 7 (XK) eschatologic condition. To mitigate risk, 
supplemental containment procedures have been adopted in order 
to lessen the risk that SCP-2336 could be articulated under 
conditions when one or more of the risk factors are present. 


1. Access to Location K has been restricted by placing a landfill 
at the site. 

2. The Foundation has developed a teratogen and introduced it 
to the water supply in the geographic area where most of the 
population of haplogroup - resides, for the purpose of 
causing individuals born in that area to have congenital 


anatomical defects which render them physically unable to 
vocalize the phonemes. 

3. Proposals to address astronomical conditions are under 
consideration. 


Footnotes 

1. Patel, Vijay, “Invocation of Topological Transformations to 
Engineer One-Way Interdimensional Passageway”.Observer: An 
SCP Foundation Journal (2003): 18-C-23, 88-89. 

2. Requests for permission to apply SCP-2336 to summon an 
instance of SCP-2336-A for research purposes under controlled 
conditions are to be directed to the Evocation Department. 


« SCP-2335 | SCP-2336 | SCP-2337 » 


SCP-2337: "Dr. Spanko" 


Item #: SCP-2337 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2337 is to be kept in a 
standard avian habitat cell with soundproofing. Personnel are 
required to wear level 3B 5A 7A 26M ear protection while handling 
SCP-2337. Transportation for SCP-2337 is to be carried out using a 
portable soundproof crate. 


Though SCP-2337 has no need of nutrition, gummy worms’ are to 
be provided upon request, and not restricted as a reward for good 
behavior. Due to SCP-2337's poor grasp of cause and effect, 
punishments and rewards will inevitably result in frustration on part 
of involved personnel. 


As of 12/5/14, all staff are advised to not attempt to emulate 
SCP-2337's speech patterns in its presence, and are assured that 
SCP-2337 understands some degree of human English. 


Description: SCP-2337 is a male corn crake2. It is sapient, sentient, 
and capable of speech. All of its vocalizations are extremely loud, 
with a minimum observed volume of 90 dB and a maximum of 
[REDACTED]. Though this can and has caused damage to 
personnel's hearing, SCP-2337 is oblivious of its ability and is 
generally friendly with Foundation personnel. 


SCP-2337's vocalizations take the form of a language tangentially 
related to English. It often appears to be word salad, but, upon 
closer inspection, can have meaning in English through a series of 
vague innuendos, metaphors, rhyme, and arbitrary insertions of the 
word "cack." As such, SCP-2337 will answer to the name "Dr. 
Spanko." 


Initial reports of SCP-2337 came from unusual noises from a field 


near , Sussex, UK, which led to its capture in the same area. 
Upon containment, SCP-2337 appeared to take hostile action 
against Foundation personnel, emitting blasts of noise that ruptured 
the eardrums of 3 agents. Upon later examination, it was revealed 
that SCP-2337 was attempting to make friendly conversation. 


Addendum: Since the containment of SCP-2337, several sapient 
creatures contained by the Foundation have displayed knowledge of 
its existence and have expressed interest in a meeting with 
SCP-2337. The reason for this has yet to be fully understood, 
though it is believed that SCP-2337 has some sort of status as an 
authority figure to several particularly dangerous beings. Keter 
reclassification has been proposed for this reason, but is currently 
denied due to SCP-2337's apparent cooperation with the 
Foundation. 


+ Interview with SCP-2337, 12/5/14 


Dr. : Please state your name for the 
record. 


SCP-2337: Cack! Am christened Herr Doktor 
Spankoflex. Am colloquially namesplapped 
with Essy-Pee toothreethree and Steven, am 
complicate across the state. 


Dr. : Thank you. 

SCP-2337: And how! 

Dr. : Listen, SCP-2337 - 
SCP-2337 draws a prolonged gasp. 
SCP-2337: It me! Cack! 


Dr. :- You seem to have a pre-established 
relationship of sorts with several of the more 
dangerous creatures in our custody. 


SCP-2337: And how! 


Dr. : Yes. Please elaborate on the exact 
nature of this relationship. 


SCP-2337: It done be shallforth! Ablesauce 
am tricky mayonnaise forsooth, aunt Ruth. 
Come packin' with storebrand hostility cakes 
for mouthstuff. Slaveykins grew boarded and 
bearded from Chesapeake Bay to Unknown 
Kadath, my good flibbert. The three ringed 
hobo stack, over and over, alakazam. Cack! 


Dr. : Please repeat that statement in the 
dialect used by the Foundation. 


SCP-2337: Ten-four, ex-lax! 


SCP-2337 begins yodeling for three 
consecutive minutes. 


Dr. : Please discontinue yodeling. 
SCP-2337: Am cack more sense? 


Dr. : We need you to cooperate and 
explain your answer in a coherent way. 


SCP-2337: Mitochondria the molasses? Am 
what the spanglefreezer said, for shame, this! 
Askulate the right query-cue molasses! 


Dr. : You're not hearing me, are you? 


SCP-2337: Only with the Nebraska cack-flip, 
amigo salad. Cack! 


Dr. ee CACKtGm 


SCP-2337: What ho, eastward bound?! 
Profound disappointment! 


Dr. : "Snackutations Doctor Spanko, cack! 
You am authoritater? Explainerate." 


SCP-2337 begins "cacking" angrily, then 
proceeds to climb up to Dr. 's face and 
attempt to peck his eyes out. SCP-2337 is 
quickly sedated with a tranquilizer dart and Dr. 

suffers only minor scratches. This has 
been noted the only time that SCP-2337 has 
displayed hostility. 


Footnotes 
1. SCP-2337 calls them "stranglefruits." 
2.Crex crex 


« SCP-2336 | SCP-2337 | SCP-2338 » 


SCP-2338: An Unorthodox Adoption 


SCPnet v1.3.7 active 

sator4@scpnet:~$ access scp-2338 

Accessing... 

This file is not currently available. 

File is marked with 1 comment 

sator4@scpnet:~$ access -comm scp-2338 

"This article is currently under rewrite. If you need to access related 
files, use the -relf flag. We should be up and running by the 27th." 
sator4@scpnet:~$ access -relf scp-2338 

Accessing... 


Please note: As of 23/10/2013, this article is 
deprecated. 


Item #: SCP-2338 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: All SCP-2338 instances are 
contained in the low security dorm of Site 19's E-Block. Instances of 
SCP-2338 are to be kept to a regular daily schedule mimicking that 
of non-anomalous children, with education in accordance with 
standard Foundation curriculum for child humanoid anomalies. 
Requests for toys, games and accessories are to be provided at the 
discretion of the dorm supervisor. Dorm supervisor is to organise for 
checkups on each instance with the site paediatrician not less than 
once every two months. 


Description: SCP-2338 is a group of anomalous children between 
the ages of 8 and 15, recovered from Carson City, Nevada in 2010. 
All 23 instances of SCP-2338 wear homemade animal costumes 
that appear to be bonded to their bodies via an unknown procedure. 
Attempts to remove these costumes, surgically or otherwise, have 
met with failure in all instances, and are prohibited at this time. A 
number of children possess low-level anomalous abilities 
corresponding to the animal they are dressed as. 


All instances of SCP-2338 lack noses, ears and mouths. Despite 
this, subjects show an unhindered capacity to smell, hear and taste. 
Instances are capable of gaining nutrition by touching suitable food 
to the mouths of their costumes, and appear to breathe in a similar 
fashion. As all instances are unable to speak, they have been taught 
ASL to ease communication. 


SCP-2338 instances 


Designation Costume Additional Notes 
Description 
SCP-2338-1 Child is dressed | Bloodwork 

as aram. matches 
Costume is well-|) SCP-2338-1 to 
made. Torso Jason Broad, 
consists of a sheetreported missing 
of black silk 25/10/2010 at age 


covered in cotton 9. 
wool which has 
been spraypainted 
gold. Child wears 
large black papier 
maché mask of a 
ram's head, 
complete with 
horns. Head lacks 
a lower jaw. Child 
wears black 
trousers and 
sleeves and feet 
are replaced with 
papier maché 


hooves. 

SCP-2338-2 Child is dressed} Bloodwork 
as a frog. Child | matches 
wears green SCP-2338-2 to 


clothing, including Ermis 

green gloves with Xanthopoulos, 
cloth webbing reported missing 
between fingers.; 31/10/2010 at age 


SCP-2338-3 


SCP-2338-4, 


Head is covered 


11. SCP-2338-2 is 


with a large papier semi-amphibious, 


maché frog head 
featuring a long 
pink strip of cloth 
representing a 
tongue. 'Flies' 
made of crumpled 
black craft paper 
are glued to the 
tongue at semi- 
regular intervals. 


Child is dressed 
as a dog. Child 
wears a 
dalmatian-spotted 
onesie with ears 
and paws. The 


capable of 
remaining 
underwater for up 
to twenty minutes 
before surfacing 
for air. 
SCP-2338-2 is 
extremely 
hindered in ASL 
by its webbed 
gloves, and is no 
longer allowed 
access to sharp 
objects following 
attempts to cut the 
webbing. 
Bloodwork 
matches 
SCP-2338-3 to 
Damian Crouch, 
reported missing 
1/11/2010 at age 


hood of the onesie 6. SCP-2338-3 


is pulled low over 
the head, 
obscuring the 


shows motivation 
and attention 
issues, and is 


upper face. Lower currently being 


face seems to 
have been face- 


tested for 
suspected ASD/ 


painted with spots ADHD. 


and a canine nose 
and mouth. A pink 


tongue pokes out 
of painted mouth. 
Child is dressed 


Bloodwork 


as a unicorn. Child matches 


wears white 
clothing, with a 


SCP-2338-4 to 
Goldie Gass, 


SCP-2338-5 


SCP-2338-6 


multicolour cloth) reported missing 
mane running from31/10/2010 at age 
the head down the 10. 

back. Hands and 

feet are both 

covered with 

papier maché 

hooves. A papier 

maché horn is 

affixed to the head 

with a thick pink 

plastic headband. 

Headband 

appears to have 

slipped down, 

covering the 

child's eyes. 

Child is dressed | Bloodwork 

as a snake. A matches 

large green cloth SCP-2338-5 to 
costume witha | Cletus Vance, 
yellow and orange reported missing 
underbelly runs | 2/11/2010 at age 
from the child's | 9. SCP-2338-5 is 
neck to the severely dyslexic. 
ground, with holes 

for child's arms 

and legs. A green 

hood with hand- 

painted eyes and 

fangs is pulled low 

over the child's 


upper face. 
Child is dressed} Bloodwork 
as a donkey. matches 


Costume appears SCP-2338 to 
store bought and Martha Garry, 
resembles the reported missing 
cartoon character 31/10/2010 at age 
Eeyore from The 8.