SCP-1862 requires oxygen, and exhales a mixture of fluorine and 
gaseous hydrogen fluoride. Though SCP-1862 cannot eat food, it 
requires water, and fluorite has proven beneficial for its health. How 
SCP-1862 continues functioning despite its aberrant biochemistry is 
presently unclear. 


Prior to containment, SCP-1862 was an orderly named Michael 
Cerrano at a Washington D.C. hospital. On the side, he ran a 
conspiracy website www.truthoffluorine. dedicated to proving that 
the United States government was poisoning its citizens through 
fluoridated drinking water. For a sample of the content of the site, 
please consult Addendum 1862-10. 


Of possible note is that among the approximately 1400 regular 
posters on the site's forum, at least thirty went missing within a six 
month period before the containment of SCP-1862. The connection 
between SCP-1862's website and its present condition is unknown. 


Addendum 1862-10: The following are excerpts from 
www.truthoffluorine. , awebsite created and operated by Michael 
Cerrano, before he became SCP-1862. 


For decades now, USAGOV has been poisoning us 
through our everyday products. Our nations water 
system is churning with poison. That poison is called 
Fluorine, element 9, and it's a poison of body mind & 
soul. Studies show that Fluorine lowers IQ by as much 
as ten points each year of continued exposure. They do 
this to keep us docile, so we don't care that USAGOV 
has turned on us. Even now, a campaign of brain- 
washing & intimidation & bone melting is being waged 
against WE THE PEOPLE, and the weapon of choice of 
USAGOV is Fluorine 9. 


| spoke to my contact in the UIU and he told me how he 
& some friends get sent down to the "treatment" 
(poisoning) plant at McMillan by their supervisor. This 
was on the 18th (2x9) of the month, and the UIU is 


Division 9 of the FBI. When he got there, they gave him 
and the others canisters with some liquid to wheel into 
the basement. They told him that if one of the canisters 
tipped over, he & his friends would die, and they would 
dump the bodies in the sand towers where they wouldn't 
be found. Are you wondering what | was when he told 
me this? That's right — what could have been in those 
canisters that's worth killing him over if he found out was 
inside them? 


Its not so simple as to just avoid the poison taps. Many 
bottled water companies are Traitor and fill their bottles 
with poison tap water. USAGOV has some fluoridate 
their water on-site. They don't mention this on the 
bottles, because they know that WE THE PEOPLE wont 
stand for it. If you buy just the right brands, the super- 
markets (Super-Dupes) record it & give all your 
information to anyone who comes asking. They also 
make it so your coupons don't work there. Then UIU, 
Sector, or Hand agents come to your house and pump 
you full of Fluorine 9 until you do whatever they say. So 
get your water off the grid. It's still wise to check at the 
super-market every so often though if they still take your 
coupons. If they ever don't, don't leave your house for 
the next few days and DONT answer the door. 


Addendum 1862-20: Excerpt from an interview with SCP-1862 
regarding its behavior in containment. 


Dr. Coleman: Then you are not bothered by remaining 
in containment, perhaps indefinitely? 

SCP-1862: Nah. I'd just be putting everyone around me 
in danger. Can't have someone like me, who knows what 
| know running around, right? Besides, | get to know | 
was right all along. How many people get to see behind 
the veil of lies, man? 

Dr. Coleman: We still haven't been able to find any 
evidence of the attempts to poison the water supply. The 
amount of fluorine added to water in fluoridation is well 
within safe limits. 


SCP-1862: Doc, that's the point. There are no safe limits. 
Jeez, | love you guys, but the Sector really does keep 
you in the dark. Better than getting picked up by the 
Hand, at least. | wouldn't want to be bowing to their star- 
gods. 

Dr. Coleman: | see. | believe we're done for today. 
Thank you for your cooperation. 

SCP-1862: Wait, can | ask a question? 

Dr. Coleman: | can't promise I'll be able to answer, but | 
suppose you Can, yes. 

SCP-1862: The Sector — is that short for Sector Control 
Protocol? 

Dr. Coleman: | don't believe | know the answer to that. 
SCP-1862: Yeah, figured you wouldn't. Okay, one last 
one. The water you give me, you don't get it from the tap, 
right? 

Dr. Coleman: No, we don't. 

SCP-1862: Good. That's good. You know what kind of 
stuff they put in tap water? 


« SCP-1861 | SCP-1862 | SCP-1863 » 


SCP-1863: Lime Liftoff and Sarsaparilla Cream 


Item #: SCP-1863 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: Individuals affected by 
SCP-1863-A are to be separated from individuals affected by 
SCP-1863-B. Both subgroups are to be kept at Site-28 for study, 
and are not to be made aware of the other party, and are to be given 
access to either SCP-1863-A or SCP-1863-B, dependent on their 
subgroup, to ensure their continued survival. 


SCP-1863-A and SCP-1863-B are to be treated as Level Ill 
(Circumstantial Level IV) Biohazard. Personnel interacting with 
SCP-1863-A or SCP-1863-B are to praise the respective instance 
on various qualities, such as its taste, its superiority to its 
competitive brand, its bouquet, and "the remarkably low level of 
sodium benzoate". 


Description: SCP-1863 is the designation for two competing soft 
drinks sold exclusively within the town of [REDACTED], Alabama. 
SCP-1863-A is a sparkling lemon-lime soft drink with hydrogen used 
in place of the dissolved CO2, sold as "Lime Liftoff" from the Citrox 
Corporation. SCP-1863-B is a non-caffeinated Root Beer and cream 
beverage known as "Sarsaparilla Cream", sold by Carl's Caffeine 
Club. Neither of these organizations have any record of operating 
within the USA prior to the discovery of SCP-1863; however, the 
Citrox Corporation reportedly operated out of the city of 
[REDACTED], Diekirch District, Luxembourg from 1982-1999. 


SCP-1863-A and SCP-1863-B are both highly addictive, despite 
having identical composition to equivalent non-anomalous soft 
drinks. Both SCP-1863-A and SCP-1863-B are capable of reacting 
to specific phrases, mainly praises or criticisms of the specific 
qualities of the SCP-1863 instance, such as flavor, chemical 
content, appearance, etc. Praising the respective SCP-1863 variety 


while condemning the competing variety appears to dampen the 
addictive effect. However, criticizing SCP-1863-A or SCP-1863-B 
while in the presence of the respective instance can lead to various 
chemical reactions, such as pH fluctuations, combustion, or 
solidification when introduced to the human digestive tract. 


Both varieties of SCP-1863 are highly mutagenic, capable of 
drastically altering the functions of human organ systems. 


¢ SCP-1863-A mutates the diaphragm, causing it to act like a 
flotation bladder; it is capable of inflating with hydrogen gas 
either from the atmosphere or from SCP-1863-A and allows 
for humans who have imbibed a sufficient quantity of 
SCP-1863-A to float up to 3m above the ground. Failure to 
regularly imbibe SCP-1863-A after drinking it results in the 
diaphragm collapsing, leading to suffocation without 
mechanical assistance. 

¢ SCP-1863-B instead targets the respiratory and circulatory 
systems, and removes the necessity for respiration, allowing 
the human body to function without the need for oxygen, 
instead relying on carbonation from SCP-1863-B or carbon 
dioxide from the atmosphere to perform bodily functions. 
Subjects who have drunk a sufficient quantity of SCP-1863-B 
are capable of indefinitely staying in environments where a 
human being cannot survive without a breathing apparatus, 
such as underwater, in gas chambers, or at high altitudes 
without any detrimental effects. Failure to regularly drink 
SCP-1863-B after drinking it for the first time results in the 
inability for oxygen to be used in the body, and as the body 
cannot intake carbon dioxide without assistance from 
SCP-1863-B, death inevitably results within 24 hours of last 
consumption of SCP-1863-B. 


Furthermore, SCP-1863-A drinkers will be highly aggressive towards 
individuals who have drunk SCP-1863-B at any point in their life, 
with the converse being true for individuals who have drunken 
SCP-1863-B. If an individual drinks both SCP-1863-A and 
SCP-1863-B within a 89 hour period, an anomalous chemical 
reaction will occur between the hydrogen and carbon dioxide in the 
two drinks, causing the digestive system to inflate [DATA 


EXPUNGED]. 


Recovered Documentation: Over the decade SCP-1863-A and 
SCP-1863-B have been in competition within [REDACTED], several 
marketing campaigns have been launched with varying levels of 
aggressiveness. The following documents are transcriptions of 
various print, televised and radio broadcast ads from the last 10 
years within [REDACTED], Alabama. Images from print ads have 
been removed for the sake of transcription. 


NEW NEW NEW! 


Heya, fellas and gals! Why don't you go down over to 
your local soda jerk and ask for some Sarsaparilla 
Cream? It's super-duper good! The taste is so 
breathtaking, you'll never take another breath! 
Guaranteed or your money back! 


Don't have some new-fangled fancy-schmancy scurvy 
drink; what are you, a buccaneer? Stick to Good Old 
Root Beer, a real Albanian Drink! 


Only from Carl's Caffeine Club! 


Absolutely Weightless 


[Image of a woman dressed as a 1950's housewife, 
floating above a kitchen floor while drinking from a bottle 
of SCP-1863-A] 


Lime Liftoff will lift your spirits, and you! Available at all 
fine retailers within [REDACTED]. Only from 


Citrox 


Supporting Schools in [REDACTED] Since 2000. 


[An animated anthropomorphic Sarsaparilla root appears 


on the screen against a black background, and starts 
talking] 

Roddy Root: Hey, kids, I'm Roddy Root, and there are 
some things you should know about Lime Liftoff before 
buying it! 


Roddy Root: Did you know that the Citrox Corporation 
gets its ingredients through slavery? Slaves in countries 
like Colombia, Chile and Florida are forced to pick all the 
limes and lemons used, and the hydrogen in Lime Liftoff 
comes from the bladders of the Swedish Sky Moose; 
there are only 300 left in the wild, and the rest of the 
10,000 are in farms or zoos owned by Citrox! 


[Roddy Root points at the screen accusingly] 


Roddy Root: People! The Citrox Corporation only exists 
to make their pockets deeper while screwing over the 
little guy! And after all that, they have the audacity to 
charge $1.22 for their soda! Do you want to support an 
evil corporate empire like that, one that enslaves 
thousands to make one lousy bottle of flat soda- 


[Roddy holds up a bottle of SCP-1863-B and drinks from 
it, making an "ah" noise] 


Roddy Root: Or do you want a real All-Armenian Drink, 
like Sarsaparilla Cream? It's 100% made in the USA, and 
only costs 50 cents. Buy a bottle today! 


Stanley Jones, announcer for WU[REDACTED], the 
local National Public Radio station We have 
something very special for our listeners today; Steven 
McPusdaidla has released a statement exclusively to 
WU[REDACTED] regarding the recent controversy that's 
been brought up regarding their Lime Liftoff product. 
With us now is the CEO of Citrox, Steven McPusDaidla, 
joining us via satellite. Steven, welcome to the program. 


[The next three minutes, 28 seconds are a loud, 
unintelligible screech, followed by an unknown female 


voice saying:] 


Unknown Speaker: Citrox Corp. Elite Products for Elite 
Tastes. 


Jones: Sorry about that, folks, I've just been told that Mr. 
McPusdaidla, CEO of Citrox, has had complications with 
his audio equipment. There's gonna be a transcription of 
that on Citrox's website come tonight, without any audio 
errors. Sorry for that hiccup. 


[Roddy Root is seen sitting behind a desk, looking sober 
and drinking from a bottle of SCP-1863-B] 


Roddy Root: Hey, kids. Roddy Root again. Recently, 
something bad has happened in this little Argentinean 
town of [REDACTED]. A bunch of kids recently mixed 
Lime Liftoff with good old Sarsaparilla Cream [Roddy 

Root indicates the bottle] and then drank it, with tragic 
results. ! 


Roddy Root: Kids, | think this just goes to show why 
people who drink Sarsaparilla Cream and Lime Liftoff 
should never mix. [Roddy Root stands up and angrily 
points his finger at the audience] Children, it is your duty 
as citizens of this proud country to go out and destroy 
every bottle of Lime Liftoff you can find. Make sure 
nobody drinks it. As for the filthy Limey Drinkers who 
have already had it, Jet them burn. 


[The backdrop turns into what is believed to be an 
amalgam of the Argentinian Flag and an American one] 


Roddy Root: Now go! Make sure that nobody drinks this 
awfulness! For the sake of Carl's Caffeine Club! 


Hey, boys, girls, and various hermaphrodites! It's time to 
enter Citrox's 


THIS 


MEANS 
WAR 


Contest! 


In the course of our friendly corporate rivalry with Carl's 

Caffeine Club, several allegations have been brought up 

against Citrox, and we need your help to disprove them! 
There are three ways you can enter the contest: 

1. Write an essay about Lime Liftoff and how it's changed 
your life for the better. One essay=10 tickets into the 
raffle. 

2. For those of you who have had enough Lime Liftoff to 
gain the Special Liftoff Power®, pass out fliers and free 
samples to your friends! For every 20 fliers you pass out, 
or every 10 free samples, you gain a raffle ticket to be 
put in the raffle, up to 10. 

3. Go out and smash some bottles of Sarsaparilla 
Cream! For every broken Sarsaparilla Cream bottle you 
send back to Citrox corporate headquarters, you 
automatically gain a raffle ticket! Just remember, kids, 
don't drink it! 


Grand Prize winners will receive a lifetime supply of Lime 
Liftoff, and all sorts of great official swag, plus a 
Playstation 3 and Games!2! 

Drink Lime Liftoff. Your life depends on it! 


[A Text Crawl appears across the screen] 


Carbonation And You: 


A Message from Carl's Caffeine 
Club 


[Roddy Root appears, dressed in a stereotypical 
American General's uniform] 


Roddy Root: Heya Kids! Roddy Root here! You all know 
by now that if you drink enough of our Sarsaparilla 
Cream, you don't need to breathe anymore! Isn't that 
nifty? What's even niftier is how you can use it! 


[Scene cuts to a live-action shot of the pond in front of 
the [REDACTED] Public Library; five people are walking 
past, drinking from bottles of SCP-1863-A. All of the 
individuals are dressed in a manner that suggests 
financial and social well-being. The entire scene is filmed 
in black and white; Roddy Root continues to speak ina 
voiceover] 


Roddy Root: Take this pond, right in front of the library! 
Jessie and Billy are in the pond right now, but you can't 

see them, and neither can the Lime-Drinkers! Let's see 

what happens. 


[A pair of teenagers, one male and one female, suddenly 
emerge from the pond, wielding 9mm pistols; both are 
dressed in a manner that suggests that they are lower- 
class. The female individual jumps on an SCP-1863-A 
drinker, who suddenly inflates; she grabs the bottle of 
SCP-1863-A from his hand, smashes it against his head, 
and stabs the drinker in the stomach with the shards. 
The male individual subdues and then kills two other 
drinkers, with the remaining two inflating and attempting 
to escape via flight] 

Roddy Root: Because they had the element of Surprise, 
Jessie and Billy were able to eliminate three of the 
targets! But two are getting away! 


[The remaining two SCP-1863-A drinkers are shot in the 

stomachs, causing them to fall to the ground and deflate; 
analysis of the film shows that the shots most likely came 
from the roof of the library]