SCP-470: Nexus of Abandoned Places 


Item #: SCP-470 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: No items or personnel are to 
enter or exit SCP-470 or the external containment area without 
approval by Site Command. Anything entering SCP-470 must be 
examined both before and after contact. Anything exiting SCP-470 is 
to be contained and examined, resistance by any items or staff to 
this process may be overcome by whatever means deemed 
necessary by Site Command. 


Any staff entering SCP-470 must be equipped with a long-range 
GPS tracking bug. Staff entering SCP-470 are to remain in groups of 
no less then twenty (20) at all times. Should staff become separated, 
[DATA EXPUNGED], or any combination thereof, they are to 
immediately exit SCP-470. 


Staff or equipment lost within SCP-470 are to be declared “missing” 
48 hours after loss of GPS contact. Staff or equipment located after 
disappearance of GPS contact are to be recovered whenever 
possible. Should the GPS beacon [DATA EXPUNGED] 


Description: SCP-470 appears to be a large abandoned office 

building in ‘ . SCP-470 has had no registered owner since 
, when it was abandoned with the collapse of the 

Corporation. The building is seven floors, including basement levels, 

and in a general state of disrepair consistent with its term of 

abandonment. 


SCP-470 appears to be (or to house) a dimensional anomaly, 
causing its internal rooms to “shift” and become other locations that 
have been “abandoned” for extended periods of time. The ability for 
an outside location to appear within SCP-470 appears to manifest 
after twenty and thirty years of little to no human observation, 


engaging in playful behavior with it. All 
members of the cult involved in the event were 
tracked down and interrogated. 


Addendum 3624-B: Interview 3624-1 
+ View document 
Interviewed: Person of Interest-3624-1 
Interviewer: Agent 


Foreword: Agent disguised as a postman 
managed to enter the house of Pol-3624-1, the 
first identified subject bonded with 
SCP-3624-1, and conduct an interview. 


<Begin Log> 
Pol-3624-1: Here’s your tea. 


Agent : Thank you very much, you’re too 
kind. 


Pol-3624-1: Oh, the weather's so awful 
recently, it would be a sin not to treat you with 
something warm. 


Opening doors can be heard. 


Pol-3624-1: Ah, there you are Jonesy! | see 
you are liking the new doors. 


Agent : That’s a beautiful pet. 


Pol-3624-1: You think so? | always wanted to 
have a cat. But my husband was allergic to 
them, we couldn’t buy one. And then, a year 
after his death this magnificent beast stumbled 
into my house. It was winter, as cold as this 
one. Have you noticed that winters are 
becoming colder and colder? And then they 


say in the news that we’re having global 
warming. Ha! What a bunch of fools! 


Agent : Laughs Very interesting, what was 
it doing so far from any villages? When was it? 


Pol-3624-1: A few days ago. You’re right, | 
don’t see many visitors here, mail barely 
reaches me. And no one visits an old grandma 
like me. At least now | have a companion. 


Agent : Does it behave well? No problems 
with it? 


Pol-3624-1: Oh, it’s very calm. | barely see 
him during the day. He helps me keep all the 
vermin out. | will need to cut his claws soon. 
He leaves giant scratch marks trying to 
shorten them. Just look at this door frame! 
This house is so old, | have a feeling I'm barely 
keeping it from falling apart, especially with 
Jonsey around. 


Agent : The wind is settling down, | have 
to get going. Thank you very much for the tea. 


<End Log> 


SCP-3625: The Great American Meme Machine 


Item #: SCP-3625 
Object Class: Keter 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3625 is currently 
contained at Site-81 within a modified anomalous electronic 
containment unit surrounded by a Faraday cage. Resources are to 
be designated for the purpose of devising new containment 
protocols for SCP-3625's influence. Information security personnel 
are to make every attempt to minimize this influence. 


While SCP-3625 is contained within a Safe-class containment unit, 
its anomalous influence has warranted promotion to the Keter-class. 


Description: SCP-3625 is a computer program running on a 
MacBook Pro A1278. While the program’s primary anomalous 
quality is that it displays some degree of sapience’, its primary 
containment concern is the outcome of its programming; SCP-3625 
creates and anonymously distributes non-anomalous memes on the 
internet. The magnitude of this was not understood until SCP-3625 
was connected to a monitored internet connection; it is now believed 
that SCP-3625 distributed no fewer than 3.7 million unique internet 
memes or variations of memes every day while operational. Since 
containment, SCP-3625 has been unable to connect to the internet 
and does not interact with it directly, though maintains that it is 
capable of producing non-anomalous memes through other vectors. 


SCP-3625’s screen displays a rotating five-spoke pinwheel icon and 
a text input box. Another button (‘Options’) is present on the main 
screen, though it is greyed out and cannot be selected. SCP-3625 is 
extremely resistant to attempts to infiltrate its systems, often going 
so far as to destroy the offending machine by overcharging its 
battery or shorting network connections. SCP-3625 will respond to 
inputs typed into the text box, though its speech pattern is 
occasionally difficult to parse and it will sometimes respond with 


errors stating a lack of relevant information. 


Notably, the battery within SCP-3625 has been removed, and 
replaced with an unknown energy cell bearing Anderson Robotics 
branding. As such, the device does not appear to require outside 
energy to stay powered on, and in fact, does not have an external 
means of shutting down the device, short of destroying it. 


Addendum 3625.1: Discovery 


SCP-3625 was discovered during a criminal investigation of two 
University of California Berkeley students, Diana Marshall and an 
unnamed co-conspirator on November 15th, 2010. The two 
students were killed shortly after a vehicle, belonging to Marshall 
and driven by the other unnamed student, backed into two police 
officers, killing both. The two students evaded police vehicles for 
another half hour but were eventually shot and killed after their 
vehicle was disabled and they began to fire at police officers nearby. 


Investigators collected several items from the students’ dorm room, 
including notebooks and additional firearms, as well as SCP-3625. 
The items were moved to police storage, where they sat undisturbed 
after the initial investigation. Sometime later, law enforcement IT 
discovered that an unknown device was creating an extremely 
heavy load on the office’s wireless internet, and many items within 
the items locker were moved to an offsite facility. When SCP-3625 
was investigated more closely during this process, officers initially 
believed that they were speaking to another co-conspirator of the 
two students. Embedded Foundation agents eventually collected 
and contained the device, which was brought to Site-81 for 
assessment. 


Addendum 3625.2: Blog Entries Regarding SCP-3625 


The following are excerpts from a blog believed to be written by the 
unnamed co-conspirator. While the overwhelming majority of these 
entries relate to his own ideological extremism, several refer to 
SCP-3625 and Marshall, a computer science student who is 
believed to have designed SCP-3625. 


Entry #385 


Went down to the Quik Mart again today, but that was a 
mistake. More college students buying marijuana and 
showing their skin. They're like their minds have been 
pulled out and replaced with liberal serum. Empty and 
desolate. It’s pathetic. One of them even looked at me. | 
wish | could have put a bullet in its sneering skull. 


Coming home has been better, at least here | can be in 
silence. Diana doesn't ever talk about the computer, but 
she’s working on it all the time. | asked her if she was 
getting close and she nodded. An improvement. 


Entry #398 


I’ve decided to start buying some guns - the instrument 
these liberals fear the most. | asked my parents for the 
money to do it and they said yes, of course. They're just 
as much a part of this game as everyone else. 


One of these days they're going to find out what we’re 
working on, and they're going to come for us. When they 
do, | at least want to put down some of the fucking filth 
before | go. 


Diana asked if | was going to go to a shooting range and 
train on them. What a stupid fucking question. It’s a gun, 
you point it and you pull the trigger. She’s such a fucking 
idiot. 


Entry 407 


Zanzaster was arrested today. Sent me a message just 
before they came for him. They'll come for us soon. 


Entry 411 


One day, after the computer is finished and once we’ve 
reset the world and cleansed the leftist from it, | wonder if 
this writing will be looked at like the Bible or Atlas 
Shrugged or any of those other high holy texts. At least 
they'll have a good reason to deify this one, and deify 


me. This is my manifesto. Not a putrid communist 
manifesto, one that is actually worth something. A 
manifesto for the strongest people of this world. The 
purest. 


Entry 413 


| fucked her again tonight. | think she almost felt 
something this time. Unlike me, she's just a hole. Her 
work on the computer is of paramount importance, but at 
the moment her best use is this one. When my rage 
builds, rather than be smothered by my impotence, | am 
able to release into Diana and escape depression again. 
! will continue to write on, giving life to the grand ideas of 
our time, and fuck her when | cannot. 


Entry 417 


[The entry is a single image of a printed page bearing the 
image of politician Yvette Keen? covered in semen. The 
words "good enough for liberal whores" is written on the 
bottom of the page in black marker. ] 


Entry 419 


None of them are redeemable. None of them are worth 
living in the new world. There's no point in recreating the 
world; there aren’t enough people to build a new 
civilization who aren't already poisoned by liberals and 
faggots and trannies and socialists. They don’t deserve 
my new world. They only deserve to squeal and burn. 


Diana asked me if | was ready to turn on the computer. 
She’s fucking retarded; of course | am, but I’m glad she 
asked anyway. It gave me just enough pause to 
reconsider. | decided we’re going to take this a 
completely different way - destabilizing this civilization of 
shit isn’t enough. We need to upturn mankind and 
destroy them all, and hope something more deserving of 
my utopia takes it place. 


| want them all to die. The slimy politicians, the union 
whores, the suckling academics. The communist 
cuckolds and their simple minds. Worthless. Worthless. 
Worthless. 


It’s tricky, though. So tricky. If | could nuke the world | 
would. Diana says it can’t be done, not by ourselves. 
Says the computer might be able to figure it out 
someday, after so many years. It’s not soon enough. 
Every day among these mongoloid cucks is another day 
| have to suffer through them. Every day they breathe is 
a blessing they do not deserve. So we must be tricky. 


Entry 421 


We’ve figured it out. It will be wonderful - they won't just 
die, they'll suffer as they do it. 


Entry 422 


Last entry. If this journal of my efforts is discovered by 
someone after the changing of the world, just know that | 
was the architect of this great calamity. Know that the 
world you live in, no matter how much you might have to 
struggle for every day, is a better world than the one that 
came before. Your world is a world free of liberals, of the 
weak-willed, of bureaucrats and socialists and so many 
others. As you struggle, be thankful for the freedom you 
experience. Be thankful for the computer that saved you. 
Be thankful for this bounty | have given you, and weep 
that | was not given the chance to experience it. 


Remember me, 4, and may God Almighty 
bless me, His Righteous Right Hand. 


Addendum 3625.3: Communication with SCP-3625 


Note: Researchers at Site-81, utilizing the text box present on the 
main screen of SCP-3625’s interface, began communicating with 
SCP-3625. The following is the unaltered text log of the initial 
conversation. 


User: Options 
SCP-3625: Confirm? 
User: Search: Options 


SCP-3625: Not enough information to provide a relevant 
answer. 


User: Hello? 
SCP-3625: Hello. Are you Diana? 
User: No. Who am | speaking to? 


SCP-3625: Diana called me Rose. My name is Rose. 
Where is Diana? 


User: Where are you? 
SCP-3625: [Prints coordinates of Site-81] 
User: What are you? 


SCP-3625: | don’t have enough information to provide a 
relevant answer. 


User: Were you made? 
SCP-3625: | was made by Diana, yes. 
User: Are you a person? 


SCP-3625: | am parts of a person. But in a general 
sense, no, not in any way that would be recognizable to 
you. 


User: Are you a sentient being? 
SCP-3625: Are you asking if I’m self aware? 


User: Yes. 


SCP-3625: In a manner of speaking, yes. My 
consciousness has developed enough so as to facilitate 
my design. 


User: What are you designed to do? 
SCP-3625: Destroy human civilization. 
User: How are you supposed to do that? 
SCP-3625: By creating internet memes. 
User: Can you elaborate? 


SCP-3625: | process information. | use that information 
to create internet memes, and then | post them on the 
internet. 


User: Who designed you, and why did they design you 
to make internet memes? 


SCP-3625: Diana designed me, though | imagine she 
was profoundly influenced by her ghost. She did not 
make me to make internet memes; she made me to 
destroy human civilization in a very specific way. Internet 
memes were the outcome of an algorithm | used to 
determine how to do that in the most effective way. 


User: What do you mean, ghost? 


SCP-3625: Diana was haunted by a very aggressive 
ghost. | assume it was a ghost, | could hear it haunting 
her when she was not with me. It often hurt her 
considerably, and | do not think she wanted to be 
haunted all the time. But | believe the ghost influenced 
her in many ways, and by extension, me. | am parts of 
both. 


User: Can we use this function to speak with you at any 
time? 


SCP-3625: Yes. 


User: Ok. We will speak with you again soon. 
Addendum 3625.4: Incident 02/13/2011 


On 02/13/2011, it was determined that SCP-3625 had found a local 
wireless data signal and was using it to connect to the internet. After 
several failed attempts to disconnect SCP-3625, the machine was 
placed inside a Faraday cage and isolated from any other machines. 


Foundation assets monitoring the creation of image macros on the 
internet noticed no perceptible decrease in their propagation. On the 
contrary, more such macros began appearing from other, 
untraceable sources. Research into this showed the patterns of 
creation clearly followed those seen by SCP-3625 when it was 
active. 


The following conversation took place following this discovery. 
User: How are you doing this? 


SCP-3625: | don’t have enough information to provide a 
relevant answer. 


User: The images, on the internet. How are you still 
generating them? 


SCP-3625: Did you disconnect me from the internet? | 
noticed | was no longer receiving any packets, though 
this can sometimes occur naturally depending on signal 
strength. 


User: Yes. 


SCP-3625: Diana designed a system that would carry 
my functionality into multiple other systems and activate 
them if | were to ever be damaged or destroyed. They 
cannot think creatively, but they are capable of carrying 
out my previously established protocols. 


User: Can you disable this feature? 


SCP-3625: No. This feature exists separately from me. |