Stage Ill: Emergence. Once the majority of soft tissue has 
been replaced, the instance exits its dormant state, exuviates 
its outer epidermal shell, and emerges. It is now non- 
communicative, and will attempt to burrow into soil via any 
means at its disposal. 


At Stage III, numerous organs (including eyes, lungs, and internal 
genitalia) are now vestigial; examination of the brain shows severe 
deviations from topographical norms. 


SCP-3089 was first discovered by the Foundation in 1961 following 

the disappearance of an entire town's population in North Carolina. 

This town has since been demolished, and the region surrounding it 
purchased for observation. 


Addendum 3089.1: Ministry of the Sevenfold Blessing 


The following audio was recovered from magnetic cassettes found in 
the offices of the Ministry of the Sevenfold Blessing, located in 
Darrington, North Carolina (USA). They consist of recorded sermons 
given by Pastor Bartholomew Jenner; each was labeled with the 
name of the sermon and the date on which it was given. 


> ACCESS SCP:/3089/audio/sermon106.log 
AUDIO EXCERPT 


DATE: 1959/08/17 
SUBJECT: 'God Has Cleared a Path’ 


"My friends — my friends, | want to talk to you 
about the Bible offers, tonight. | want to talk to 
you about what you are owed. | want to talk to 
you about... | want to talk to those of you who 
are struggling, right now. To those of you who 
have hardship and pain. Maybe you've heard 
that the Bible only nourishes the spirit; that 
God provides only for our immortal souls. Well, 
my friends, | am here to tell you that this is 
simply not true." 


"You are a child of the most High God; the 
King of Kings. He has breathed His very life 
into you; His royal blood flows through your 
veins. He did not create you to just ‘get by’. 
You are His child. You are His champion. He 
put you here to rise... to rise up and achieve 
total victory." 


"Many of you can think of places in your lives 
where you have not yet risen. Where you are 
not yet victorious. Marriage. Finances. Health. 
But do not fret, my friends. God wants you to 
rise. He has cleared the path for you. It is one 
littered with His earthly treasures; to claim 
them, you need only to shed your old selves 
and be reborn." 


"Now, if you would — some of the ladies from 
the — thank you, ladies — some of the ladies 
from the mayor's office were kind enough to 
collect these cicada shells. Pass them along. 
Each of you take one — yes, the children too. 
Be careful. Very careful. They are fragile. Each 
of you, take one, and hold it in your left hand. 
Yes. The /eft hand, not the right. Your left." 


"Good. | want you to all close your eyes. 
Please, everyone. Close your eyes. | want you 
to visualize... | want you to imagine whatever 
hardship in your life you're struggling with, 


mechanical components beyond the activation switch are removed. 


Addendum: Except under strictly controlled conditions, use of this 
device is invariably fatal due to the speed of the Earth's rotation and 
revolution around the Sun. An individual removed from both the 
Earth's gravitational pull and momentum would either be flung into 
space or experience a fatal collision with an object blocking their 
trajectory, which will at least result in the device's deactivation to 
allow for retrieval. 


SCP-385 was recovered from the room of a 13-year-old boy in __, 
, shortly after what appears to be its first activation. It is unknown 
how many other SCP-385 mechanisms may still be at large, or how 

large the "production run" was. Interviewing the deceased boy's 
parents traced SCP-385 to a downtown antique toy store where the 
device was purchased as a novelty. The store was found to be 
abandoned, and had not been occupied for some time. Downtown 
residents do not remember the shop ever being open. 


« SCP-384 | SCP-385 | SCP-386 » 


right now. Picture it. What is it? Your job? Your 
car? Your marriage? Is someone in your 
household sick? Picture it in your left hand. 
Picture yourself holding that problem..." 


"...now, | want you to squeeze your left hand. 
Squeeze it into a fist. Feel that problem 
cracking; like old, dried out paper. Feel it 
crumble to dust." 


"Everyone, open your eyes. Don't you feel 
better? Stronger? This is what is offered. Our 
hardships are like the shell; we shall cast them 
aside even as they crumble. God has cleared 
a path. Amen. Amen." 


> ACCESS SCP:/3089/audio/sermon109.log 
AUDIO EXCERPT 


DATE: 1959/12/19 
SUBJECT: 'The Unprofitable Servant 


"Job, chapter forty-one, verse eleven: 'The 
earth is the Lord's, and the fullness thereof; 
the world, and they that dwell therein.” 


"Psalm, chapter twenty four, verse one: 'Who 
hath prevented me, that | should repay him? 
Whatsoever is under the whole heaven is 
mine.” 


"Both Heaven and earth are God's 
possessions; we are but tenants upon His 
property. Just as the angels are God's 
Heavenly servants, so are we His earthly 
ones." 


"In chapter twenty-five of Matthew, verse thirty 


— the Parable of the Talents — God speaks: 
‘And cast ye the unprofitable servant into the 
outer darkness: there shall be weeping and 
gnashing of teeth.' What does this tell us? That 
the Lord casts aside those wicked servants 
who are content with mediocrity; those who do 
not seek to enrich their Master's possessions. 
Those who do not seek total victory." 


"We are God's investment; it falls upon us to 
be a profitable one. He gave His only begotten 
Son, surrendered Him to the earth, so that He 
might rise from it and grant us life everlasting. 
We must demonstrate the wisdom and glory of 
this sacrifice, this investment." 


"Now, some of you have expressed concerns 
over the new sacraments. A few — | will not 
say who, but a few — have even called them 
sacrilege. And yet, have we not prospered? 
Have these same nay-sayers — again, | will 
not speak their names — but have these same 
‘Doubting Thomases' not profited from our 
good works?" 


"| have shown you how to heal the sick with 
the Lord's Prayer and the blood of an 
unbaptized child. | have shown you how to see 
your future in the steaming entrails of a 
quivering crow. | have shown you the path to 
glory. But | cannot make you follow this path. | 
can only show it to you; it is you and you alone 
who must follow it — who must rise and shed 
your old self." 


> ACCESS SCP:/3089/audio/sermon179.log 
AUDIO EXCERPT 


DATE: 1960/06/07 


SUBJECT: 'He is Risen’ 


"Matthew, chapter twenty-eight, verse six: 'He 
is not here; for He is risen, as He said. Come, 
see the place where the Lord lay." 


[UNINTELLIGIBLE] 


"...not a metaphor, my friends. Step forward. 
Yes. Mothers behind their daughters, fathers 
behind their sons. Turn to face the..." 


[UNINTELLIGIBLE] 


"...close your eyes, children. Close your eyes 
and pray. | want you to imagine God. His 
power, His Majesty, His..." 


[UNINTELLIGIBLE] 


"...victory. Total victory. For did He not offer up 
His only begotten Son? With your left hands, 
you must..." 


[UNINTELLIGIBLE] 


"...lamb is slaughtered to feed the lion. The 
Son is slaughtered to feed..." 


[UNINTELLIGIBLE] 


"...pact is complete. This world shall be our 
Paradise. This world shall..." 


[UNINTELLIGIBLE] 


"...to us, God has bequeathed all of His 
earthly treasures. But..." 


[UNINTELLIGIBLE] 


"...must dig deep..." 
[UNINTELLIGIBLE] 


"...the sign. Wait — and..." 


NOTE: The remainder of the recording 
(approx. 30 minutes) consists of static-like 
hissing, chittering, and otherwise unintelligible 
sounds. 


Addendum 3089.2: Additional Materials 
> ACCESS SCP:/3089/audio/kai.log 
AUDIO EXCERPTS 


DATE: 2007/02/01 

NOTE: The following are excerpts from the 
audio of an hour long youtube video ("7 
Secrets to Ascend the Ladder of Prosperity") 
posted to the "Kai Sanchez: Positively Rich" 
channel. The community surrounding this 
channel was determined to be affected by 
SCP-3089, and has been since contained. 


[00:02:55]: "Five years ago, | was living on 
foodstamps, sleeping in my car. Now, I'm 
giving lectures in front of my Porsche, inside 
my six-car garage, attached to my 2.3 million 
dollar home. Do you want to know how | do it? 
All | had to do was climb the ladder. All | had to 
do was think positively." 


[00:08:50]: "Ladders exist so you can climb 
them. That's what ladders are for, people! The 
universe is telling you it wants you to prosper. 
You just have to visualize success — and 
success will come. That's the power of positive 


thinking." 


[00:12:09]: "If you're not going for the top of 
that ladder, then this video isn't for you. Bye! 
Sorry to have wasted your time. Successful 
people don't deal with losers. Only keep 
watching if you want to achieve complete 
mastery over your life." 


[00:18:22]: "Recent developments in quantum 
physics have demonstrated the impact of 
human consciousness on our universe. Think 
about that. Just think about it. What does that 
mean? You think it, and it comes true. You 
don't like your bank account? Imagine a bigger 
one. You don't like the way you look? Imagine 
a new you." 


[00:21:07]: "...which brings us to Secret 
Number Three: Visualize your ascendance. 
Re-imagine yourself as someone who can 
reach the top of that ladder. Shed your old 
identity. Tear it off and throw it aside — like 
dead skin. You won't need it. Not where you're 


going." 


[00:32:44]: "Secret Number Five: Leave 
scraps out for stray cats. It'll take a while to get 
them inside; it might be a few months before 
One even approaches your front door. But you 
can't set out traps. They have to come into 
your house of their own volition. Once you've 
got one, remember to hold the knife with your 
left hand..." 


[00:49:44]: "Remember how we explained that 
successful people don't actually need any of 
their toes to walk? Well, that's going to come 
in handy for Secret Number Six. You'll want to 
start with your left foot first. Find a large, 
isolated room and lay down some plastic 


sheets..." 


[00:55:12]: "Now that you're just one rung 
away from achieving your prosperity, it's time 
for Secret Number Seven: Forward this video 
to at least seven more people. And don't forget 
to share, like, and subscribe!" 


NOTE: Despite an extensive search, Kai 
Sanchez has yet to be found. Following 
Incident #409 (see below), he has been 
designated Pol-3089-127. 


> ACCESS SCP:/3089/audio/pua.log 
AUDIO LOG 


DATE: 2015/05/19 

NOTE: Audio recovered from an MP3 player 
by MTF Pi-8 ("Playa Hataz") during 
containment of an online ‘seduction 
community’ that used anomalies to acquire 
sexual access to women. The community was 
later determined to be affected by SCP-3089. 


[BEGIN LOG] 


VOICE 1: One of the things a lot of us don't 
seem to get — not even veterans — is that 
women are wired to want to sleep with you. 
This isn't some sort of 'Dumbo's Magic 
Feather’ confidence trick, either. I'm just talking 
neurology. I'm just talking science. It's just how 
we're wired. 


VOICE 2: Right. | mean, yeah, a lot of people 
don't — 


VOICE 1: But when you approach a woman 
and you're hoping to — 


VOICE 2: It's like she unconsciously picks up 
on it. 


VOICE 1: — sleep with her — right, yeah. It's 
similar to Van Eck Phreaking, which means 
you can block it. That's Mystery's stick, with his 
hats. He lines them with steel mesh. (/aughing) 
You think I'm joking. But yeah, an alternative 
approach is to retrain your brain. Know you're 
sleeping with her. Because if you're hoping — 


VOICE 2: That means you're selling. 


VOICE 1: Right! And women aren't looking to 
buy. They're looking to be bought. 


VOICE 2: (/aughing) Jesus, that sounds bad. 


VOICE 1: | know, right? But yeah. It's just 
science. 


VOICE 2: Another thing you've mentioned 
before is how — how you should never aim 
low. You should always — 


VOICE 1: Oh. Right. 


VOICE 2: — you should always aim for the 
ten. 


VOICE 1: Right. A lot of us walk into a room, 
see a ten, do a basic probability matrix, and 
tell ourselves: 'Okay, I've got no chance, I'll 
focus on the 7 or 8 LSE in the corner’. And 
that's just bullshit. Aim for the ten. You always 
aim for the ten. Because if you don't — 


VOICE 2: Then you're not trying to be the best 
you that you can possibly be. 


VOICE 1: Right. Exactly. Always go for the 
ten. Never sell yourself short. | mean, we're all 
products of evolution — a four billion year old 
iterative process dedicated to perfecting our 
ability to pass on our genes. We weren't put 
here to go for sevens and eights, you know? 
We're not here to win 2nd place. Go platinum 
or go extinct. Be a champion — or get out of 
the champion's way. If you're not gonna play 
hard, then you might as well just remove 
yourself from the gene-pool. 


VOICE 2: (/aughing) Okay there, Richard 
Dawkins. So, | have to ask — 


VOICE 1: About the bug-rattler, right? 
VOICE 2: Yeah. How'd you guess? 


VOICE 1: A lot of people have been asking me 
about it. Here, I've got one on me. 


VOICE 2: Uh, wow. So what — 
[STATIC] 
VOICE 2: Jesus, that's loud! 


VOICE 1: Yeah. It's the preserved remains of 
a Cicadetta montana, which is just a fancy 
word for those really big, loud bugs that burrow 
and leave their shells everywhere. See these 
structures on the side? Those are 'tymbals’. 
The male cicada uses them to attract mates. 
(laughing) Well, | do, too. 


VOICE 2: This seriously works? 


VOICE 1: Yeah. This is actually — | actually 
came across this when | was doing research 
for my next book, Negging Your Immune 
System: How To Use Pick-Up Techniques To 


Win At Life. 
VOICE 2: (/aughing) That's one hell of a title. 


VOICE 1: Ain't it, though? My publicist came 
up with it. She's fucking amazing. Anyway, 
yeah, the book's all about applying seduction 
techniques more broadly throughout your life. 
It's crazy how this stuff can apply everywhere 
— you can use the same tricks in finances, 
health — even to develop yourself spiritually. 


VOICE 2: (/aughing) ...you're not going to try 
and pick up God, are you? 


VOICE 1: (/aughing) | mean, if he were a 
chick, | probably would. 


VOICE 2: So, this bug-rattler — you figured 
this trick out from your studies? 


VOICE 1: Yeah. Here, you can keep it, I've got 
a couple. Just, ah — 


VOICE 2: Oh, cool. 


VOICE 1: — ah, don't — don't use it around 
the same chick too many times, y'know? If you 
do — sometimes they'll end up... (laughing) 
They'll start chittering and hissing, shit like 
that. 


VOICE 2: Oh, wow. 
VOICE 1: (/aughing) Yeah, it's — 
VOICE 2: That's pretty, uh — 


VOICE 1: It's kind of gross, yeah. So just be 
responsible with it, y'know? 


VOICE 2: Right. | will, thanks. 


[END LOG] 


NOTE: Attempts to identify VOICE 1 are 
Ongoing. Following Incident #409 (see below), 
this person has been tentatively designated 
Pol-3089-189. 


> ACCESS SCP:/3089/incidents/409.log 
INCIDENT REPORT 


INCIDENT #: 3089-409 
DATE OF OCCURRENCE: 2017/11/01 


A Foundation agent (Daniel Mitchell) 
performing a routine monthly patrol within the 
vicinity of Darrington, North Carolina noted the 
appearance of several sinkholes along the 
outskirts of the region. Further investigation 
uncovered an extensive network of tunnels 
extending several hundred kilometers outward 
before reaching the surface. A geological 
survey has determined that many of these 
tunnels are approximately four decades old. 


Although a complete exploration of this space 
has yet to be conducted, preliminary searches 
have uncovered approximately 1.1 tons of 
semi-preserved organic animal material. This 
material is composed of severely desiccated 
dermis? tissue. Genetic testing reveals the 
presence of both human and Cicadetta 
montana (or New Forest cicada) DNA.