SCP-550 will continue making contact with its chosen corpse, before 
closing its chest cavity and standing up. SCP-550 will then release a 
slurry of materials, mostly containing loose portions of epidermis, 
articles of clothing (if present on the corpse), and stomach bile. 
When deprived of corpses for several days, SCP-550 will enter a 
dormant state and refrain from movement for an indefinite period of 
time until a corpse is available. 


Addendum 550-Recov: SCP-550 was found at the site of a mass 
grave in , South Africa. Foundation Intelligence was made aware 
of rumors being passed between locals regarding a "ghdl", 
descriptions of which had some marked deviations from traditional 
folklore. MTF Beta-7 ("Maz Hatters") was dispatched with orders to 
confirm the existence of a potential Euclid class being and to 
retrieve it on the Foundation's behalf. 


28 corpses were found to have been damaged by SCP-550, and 
Protocol "Sewn Veil" was enacted to restore bodies to acceptable 
conditions. Several ritualistic items such as incense, candles, pieces 
of a large cloth stained with various bodily fluids, utensils, pots, 
plates, and various salts and spices were found scattered 
throughout the graveyard. 


One person was reported missing in the town of SCP-550's original 
location, a local resident named Siyanda . No corpse has been 
found that matches the civilian. Other town members claim had 
begun taking regular trips to a neighboring town prior to their 
disappearance. 


On search of the civilian's home, a voicemail from a public phone 
located in [REDACTED] was found. No other evidence of possible 
involvement with SCP-550 was discovered. 


Foreword: The following is translated from the Bantu 


black anomalous roach who's confoundin' 
Foundation folks? 


Bad Roach: [Indicates self.] 


Dr. Derekson: That is correct. They say this 
particular Roach is a baaad mother- 


Bad Roach: [Motions for Dr. Derekson to 
SHUT HIS MOUTH.] 


Dr. Derekson: Bad Roach, no! I'm talkin’ bout 
you. 


Bad Roach: [Digs it.] 


Encounter #: 13 

Roach Instance: Thad Roach 

Personnel Name/Dept: Dr. Westrin 

Description: Thad Roach's anomaly manifests in the 
ability to make any person's tongue stick outside of their 
mouth, even while speaking. 


Thad Roach Intake Log Interview 


Dr. Westrin: Hello Thad Roach. Can you 
pleathe tell uth your real name? 


Thad Roach: Yeah, my name is Saddeus. 
Hehehe. 


Dr. Westrin: Ith that your real name, or are 
you juth making fun of me. 


Thad Roach: No, THIS is making fun of you. 
[Thad Roach blows a raspberry at Dr. Westrin 
with their antennae.] 


Dr. Westrin: Thad Roach, No! 


Encounter #: 14 

Roach Instance: Cad Roach 

Personnel Name/Dept: Junior Researcher Charla 
Flores, Mind-Affecting Anomalies 

Description: Cad Roach is a miscreant and a scoundrel, 
unfit for genteel society and a disgrace to his many 
relations. His behaviour towards several ladies of 
spotless reputation has been nothing less than 
scandalous, and brands him as a reprobate of the most 
unfeeling kind. Had Cad Roach any scrap of honour or 
decency, he would immediately quit this place and return 
to the gutter from which he undoubtedly crawled. 


Extract of Cad Roach Conversational 
Transcript 


Dryad Roach: But that ring was a gift from my 
grandmother! 


Cad Roach: Well it's pawned now, and the 
money lost on cards and dice. If anyone wants 
me, I'll be at the pub getting drunk with 
Maenad Roach. 


Dryad Roach: But | have thrown over my 
fiance, estranged my family, sullied my good 
name, all for you! Because | love you! 


Cad Roach: Love? Babe, you were a good 
time, that's all. | didn't even know we were 
using real names. 


Dryad Roach: Galahad Roach, no! 


Encounter #: 15 

Roach Instance: Mad Roach 

Personnel Name/Dept: Dr. Ittermixin, Rebellion Wing. 
Description: Mad Roach should be a Keter because 
they’re a dumb loser who won't let me on my PS4 and all 
that happened was | did the middle finger to them like 


One time as a joke. :( 
Roach Name Intake Log Interview 


Dr. Ittermixin: This is fucking child abuse, I’m 
gonna call the police and they’re gonna take 
you away and I'll get to play GTA V all the 
time! 


Mad Roach: Did you just curse at me, young 
man? You're grounded! 


Dr. Ittermixin: Jesus Christ! Why are you so 
mad all the time, Mad Roach? 


Mad Roach: I’m not mad, Brendon. I’m just- 
[sniffles] - disappointed. 


Dr. Ittermixin: Mad Roach, noo... 


Encounter #: 16 

Roach Instance: Big Bad Roach 

Personnel Name/Dept: Agent Gummy_Dragon 
Description: Big Bad Roach's anomaly manifests in its 
massive size and ability to launch flame-like streams 
from its mouthparts. 


Big Bad Roach Intake Log Interview 


Agent Gummy_Dragon: Stop rampaging, or 
we'll have to stop you! 


Big Bad Roach: [Rampages aggressively] 


Agent Gummy_Dragon: You're making Sad 
Roach feel bad! 


Big Bad Roach: [Breathes fire] 


Agent Gummy_Dragon: [Ignites] Big Bad 
Roach, no... [Burns] 


Encounter #: 17 

Roach Instance: Glad Roach 

Personnel Name/Dept: Dr. Magnus, Metaphysics 
Description: Glad roach has an obsession with fighting 
other roaches, and has the ability to manifest both tiny 
gladii, and the ability to throw them at the crowd. Testing 
with Glad Roach has shown it to scratch out the phrase 'I 
am Roachinus Gladius Meridius, Eater of the Poo of the 
North, commander of the Radiation-Proof legions’ in any 
available medium when not fighting other roaches. 


Glad Roach Intake Log Interview 


Dr. Magnus: Glad roach, come on, you can't 
just kill-— 


[Glad Roach kills another Roach. Glad roach 
hurls a tiny gladius at Dr. Magnus] 


Dr. Magnus: GODDAMMIT Glad Roach, | get 
it, you're on a rampage of revenge against— 


[A white Roach enters the containment area] 
Dr. Magnus: Wait, where did— 


Glad roach is stabbed in the thorax before 
combat, then defeats the white roach. Both 
die. 


Dr. Magnus: Glad Roach, nooooooo!!! 
[Several seconds pass] 
Dr. Magnus: ....for the record, | didn't 


authorize copyright infringement. 


Encounter #: 18 
Roach Instance: Egad Roach 
Personnel Name/Dept: Researcher Eyhard Linauer 


Description: Egad Roach is able to produce an ornate 
brass-bound monocle out of nowhere. They also 
possess a keen sense of propriety, and are easily 
startled. 


Egad Roach Intake Log Interview 


Researcher Linauer: Now, we're very 
interested in how you obtain new monocles. I'd 
like to ask you to stay calm and explain as 
clearly as you can. How does that sound? 


Egad Roach: [Sweeps an elaborate bow, 
saluting the researcher with their antennae to 
indicate agreeement.] 


Researcher Linauer: Wonderful. First, let's 
get a better look at the one you're w— 


Chad Roach: [Sneaks up behind Egad Roach 
and emits a loud belch right next to their ear.] 


Egad Roach: [Jumps and gasps. The sudden 
movement knocks their monocle to the ground, 
shattering it.] 


Researcher Linauer: Egad Roach! No... 


Encounter #: 19 

Roach Instance: Lad Roach 

Personnel Name/Dept: Researcher Joseph Sherman, 
Archives and Records 

Description: Okay, it’s Friday night in the Site-42 
cafeteria and all the lads are on the lash, getting 
wankered, harassing the female researchers, yeah? One 
of the docs is hank marvin’ and you think Pizza Hut, a bit 
old school and full of kids so the banter won’t be top 
notch... then your mate, Lad Roach (proper LEDGE) 
says you ought get a bit of cheeky nandos and the 
banter is Top Quality. 


Lad Roach Intake Log Interview 


Researcher Sherman: You saved the party, 
you Bantersauras Rex!! 


Lad Roach: [Is an Archbishop of Banterbury.] 


Researcher Sherman: You absolute 
madman! 


Lad Roach: [Passes out after his 9th pint.] 


Researcher Sherman: Lad Roach! No... 


Encounter #: 20 

Roach Instance: Mossad Roach 

Personnel Name/Dept: Agent Gummy_Dragon 
Description: Mossad Roach is equipped with standard 
Mossad (HaMossad leModi'in uleTafkidim Meyuhadim) 
equipment, and is dedicated to eliminating terrorists. 


Mossad Roach Intake Log Interview 


Agent Gummy_Dragon: How has your 
mission been going? 


Mossad Roach: [Shakes head] 
Agent Gummy_Dragon: Not so good? 
Bad Roach: [Shoots Mossad Roach] 


Agent Gummy_Dragon: Mossad Roach! No! 


Show Roach Logs, Encounters 21 - 30 


Encounter #: 21 

Roach Instance: Ad Roach, again 

Personnel Name/Dept: Dr. L. Naismith 

Description: [Please view a word from our sponsors in 


order to access the description from Encounter 8.] 
Ad Roach Re-Intake Log Interview 


Dr. Naismith: Are you willing to cooperate 
with us this time? 


Ad Roach: [Nods] 


Dr. Naismith: Good. Now, then— 


Dr. Naismith: Ad Roach, NO! 


Encounter #: 22 

Roach Instance: Riastrad Roach 

Personnel Name/Dept: Dr. L. Naismith 
Description: Riastrad Roach is believed to be Irish in 
origin. 


Riastrad Roach Intake Log Interview 


Dr. Naismith: So, are you, like, an Irish 
stereotype roach? Because I'm Irish on my 
mom's side, and | don't really appreciate— 


Riastrad Roach: You dare mock the hound of 
Culann? 


Dr. Naismith: ...wait, what? 


Riastrad Roach: [vomits 37 liters of blood, 
kilotuples in size, shoots fire out of own anus, 
grows seventeen vestigial heads, amputates 
own left foreleg, fashions a rudimetary 
claymore out of it] 


Dr. Naismith: RIASTRAD ROACH, N— 


<recording equipment vaporized> 


Encounter #: 23 

Roach Instance: Unique Roach 

Personnel Name/Dept: Dr. Graham 

Description: Unique Roach is an anomaly of its kind for 
obvious reasons. The object is considered a Keter-level 
threat. 


Roach Name Intake Log Interview 


Dr. Graham: | don't get it. What exactly makes 
you special? 


Unique Roach: [Rolls eyes.] 
Dr. Graham: That doesn't help. 


Unique Roach: Oh what? Just because | don't 
have a dumbass name like the other roaches 
means I'm suddenly the center of attention? 
Leave me alone... 


Dr. Graham: | don't—... Unique Roach, no... 


Encounter #: 24 

Roach Instance: Iliad Roach 

Personnel Name/Dept: Dr. L. Naismith 

Description: Researcher C. Andra's repeated assertions 
that lliad Roach is a threat to the Foundation's safety are 
to be ignored. 


lliad Roach Intake Log Interview 
Dr. Naismith: Now, let's get on with— 


[Iliad Roach pushes a wooden cockroach 
sculpture, 50 cm in length, in front of Dr. 
Naismith] 


Dr. Naismith: Aww, is that for me? 


[Iliad Roach nods, indicating the sculpture's 


copper siding] 
Dr. Naismith: Copper-clad roach? No, y— 


<recording equipment invaded> 


Encounter #: 25 

Roach Instance: Had Roach 

Personnel Name/Dept: Dr. Boron Clark 

Description: Had roach's anomaly manifests in its ability 
to lose anything in its possession. Had roach is 
extremely annoyed by this ability and constantly tries to 
collect things to no avail. 


Had Roach Intake Log Interview 
Dr. Boron: What are you collecting right now? 


Had Roach [Points to a single ball-point pen in 
the corner of its cell] 


Dr. Boron: Just one? 


Had Roach: [Takes the pen held in Dr. 
Boron's hand and turns to find the first pen has 
disappeared] 


Had Roach: [Cries] 


Dr. Boron: Had Roach.. No.. 


Encounter #: 26 

Roach Instance: Rebel Roach 

Personnel Name/Dept: Dr. Taylor Itkin, [REDACTED] 
Description: Rebel Roach doesn't conform to your 
stupid formats. 


Rebel Roach Intake Log Review 


Dr. Itkin: What are you doing, Rebel Roach? 


Rebel Roach: [gives Dr. Itkin the finger] 
Dr. Itkin: Wow. Rude, much? 
Rebel Roach: [puts up second middle finger] 


Dr. Itkin: ...dick. 


Encounter #: 27 

Roach Instance: AD. Roach 

Personnel Name/Dept: Dr. Arthur Avatar 
Description: Roach displays the current date on its 
carapace, using what appears to be Sharpie® brand 
permanent marker. Dr Avatar's request to interact with 
AD. Roach daily is currently undergoing review. 


AD. Roach Intake Log Review 
AD. Roach: [scuttles about chamber] 


Dr. Forth: And you're sure this is a unique 
roach? 


Dr. Avatar: Oh absolutely. Look at its 
carapace! Isn't it wacky? 


[both researchers look at AD. Roach. AD. 
Roach seems unconcerned] 


Dr. Forth: Fine, fine, it's just... most of the 
others have fairly straightforward names, you 
know? This one seems a little forced. Kinda 
similar to another roach we have, as well. 


Dr. Avatar: | have no idea what you're talking 
about. This is AD. Roach, a completely unique 
anomaly that | have bravely catalogued and 
researched. 


AD. Roach: Buy it now, for only $19.99, only 
while stocks last! Delivery within 6 to 8 


language, belonging to the Zulus. 


[Coughing and heavy breathing, masculine voice] 


"We know you feel it in you. | Know you do not want to 
answer me. You need to come. We are here to open 
those shredded bonds, never mind their state. You're 
famished, yet you are not hungry! Where do you expect 
to hide from what you need?" 


[A feminine voice can be heard whispering for 4 
seconds, before the caller makes a sound of approval.] 


"Khetiwie says she is prepared, so now it is only up to 
you. Do you not want to let it burn through your bones, 
mixing you into the slime from where we began? Do you 
not want to become one with the saliva of the beast, 
soaking in the juices of your kin? You know what to do. 
We want to bring ourselves inside the beast. This is not 
something you should be afraid of." 


[Further unknown background noises are heard.] 


"See, Slindile has already brought forth her tendons, 
fresh. Just look at her pinch the eye out... Lord, | can't 
wait to feel what it is like inside him." 


Addendum 550-A1 4/19/2011: Analysis of SCP-550 skin sample 
shows the presence of mucosal cells and microvilli, and confirms 
skin pigmentation as melanin. Dr. | has suggested and authorized 
MRI scan without sedation. Scan postponed following Incident 
SCP-550-T7. 


Incident 550-T1 At 03:43, / /20 , surveillance showed that 
SCP-550 had begun pacing its cell during research of its dormant 
state. Agent and Dr. were given permission to investigate. 
Surveillance footage shows that standard Foundation procedure 
was followed and no abnormalities were found until personnel left. 
SCP-550 immediately lay down in its cell until a large black tongue, 
anatomically human, erupted from within SCP-550. Site-36 was 


business roach-weeks. 
Dr. Forth: ...Ad Roach? 


Dr. Avatar: No! 


Encounter #: 28 

Roach Instance: Add Roach 

Personnel Name/Dept: Dr. C. Kirby 

Description: Add Roach is believed to have an 
advanced understanding of mathematical concepts 
(compared to a baseline roach). 


Add Roach Intake Log Interview 


Dr. Kirby: So | hear you're quite the math 
whiz? 


Add Roach: [Nods proudly]. 
Dr. Kirby: Well, then, blow my mind. 


Add Roach: [Scribbles something down on a 
tiny piece of paper, and then shows it to Dr. 
Kirby] 


Dr. Kirby: Add Roach no... two plus two 
equals four, not five. 


Encounter #: 29 

Roach Instance: Dryad Roach 

Personnel Name/Dept: Dr. Westrin 

Description: Dryad Roach is noted to be a nature 
enthusiast, and deeply cares about forests, flowers, 
plants and other types of life. Dryad Roach is also 
capable of planting all types of seeds with ease without 
human assistance. 


Dryad Roach Intake Log Interview 


Dr. Westrin: Hey Dryad Roach, how's the 
garden doing? 


Dryad Roach: Oh, it's doing wonderfully! The 
Calendulas are starting to bloom, the Daisies 
and Marigolds are doing good as well, and my 
cactus now has a tiny flower on it. 


Dr. Westrin: That's cool. To be honest, you 
don't seem like the type of animal who would 
be interested in nature. 


Dryad Roach: What makes you say that? I've 
been in love with life since | was a wee cock 
roach. Did you know that 3.5 billion to 7 billion 
trees are cut down each year? 


Dr. Westrin: Dryad Roach, no, | didn't know 
that! 


Encounter #:30 

Roach Instance: Maenad Roach