To be crystal clear, this is not about 
vengeance. This is not about justice. This is, 
pure and simple, about the most effective way 
to make use of Melanie duMourne, without 
exposing The Foundation, the world, or any 
related reality to the influence of her decisions. 


As such, it is the Ethics Committee's findings 
that Melanie duMourne be confined to 
Dimensional Site-04, and be required to write 
the final after-action and Familial Notice 
documents for all incidents relating to 
SCP-3621. Any and all casualties, damage, 
death, or destruction that Melanie duMourne is 
responsible for, she will be directly responsible 
for cataloging, and responding to. 


This task shall be completed within the outer 
containment chamber of SCP-3621, beyond 
the sound dampening barrier. Emergence 


Events shall be shielded to no lower than 
20 GB. 


We feel this is appropriate considering the 
magnitude of the damage done to our 
continuity, and, in truth, our very missions. 

It is not determined at this time, the length of 
the sentence, though it shall take place 


immediately, beginning with the victims of 
SCE 2075: 


Credentials invalid, please try again 


This section only accessible by m.dumourne@scp.net. Attempt to log 


Welcome Prisoner DuMourne 


Running Scripts 
ecom_2017_mdm.exe 


Identifying accessed sections... 

Section A verified...read 

Section B verified...read 

Section C verified...read 

Accessing attachments 

Hello Melanie. 

Below is the form letters you will use to 
apologize to the victims of your failure. This 
isn't exhaustive, just the ones we've had to 


make to get you started. You should make 
more if you need them. 


SCP-469: Many-Winged Angel 


Item #: SCP-469 
Object Class: Keter 


Special Containment Procedures: Subject is to be kept in an 
airtight, soundproof containment chamber, 15.24m x 15.24m x 
15.24m (50ft x 50ft x 50ft) until a viable termination method is 
available. All personnel who enter SCP-469’s chamber (Class D 
Only) must wear standard Sound-Proofing Anti-Resonance (SPAR) 
suits at all times while inside the chamber, and communicate only 
through written notes, hand gestures or text messaging. Absolutely 
no-one is to touch or even approach the subject with anything other 
than probing instruments. 


All equipment taken into SCP-469’s containment chamber must 
make as little noise as possible, or none at all. Cell phones are 
permitted for communication between personnel as long as they are 
muted. 


Description: At first glance, SCP-469 appears to be a gargantuan 
pile of white feathers measuring 8.84m (29ft) in diameter and 
weighing several tons. Upon closer inspection however, subject is 
actually a vast array of enormous white avian wings, tightly curled 
up into a dense mound. Each wing varies in size and span, ranging 
from a few centimetres to several metres, but all are covered with 
glossy white feathers. 


X-rays have revealed the wings to possess a hollow bone structure 
underneath similar to other birds, though these bones are very soft 
and flexible, allowing the wings to bend and coil up at angles other 
birds, and indeed other vertebrates, are incapable of. At the center 
of the mass is a large humanoid creature, curled up into a fetal 
position, to which all the wings are attached at its spine. 


SCP-469 seems to feed exclusively on sounds and sound waves, 


You will come to this file. Enter your 
credentials. Read the results of your failure. 


Every. Single. Time. 


You may be thinking to yourself "They're just 
being cruel. They want me to suffer." 


No, Melanie. We don't want you to suffer. 
Cold, not cruel. We want you never to forget 
what you did. 


| never can. Neither should you. 


O5-2, 
Dr. Jacob Kensington 


FormLetterDeath.docx 
FormLetterMentallllness.docx 
FormLetterMIA.docx 
FormLetterComatose.docx 
FormLetterDisease.docx 
FormLetterMemetic.docx 
FormLetterAntiMemetic.docx 
FormLetterPersonalityShift.docx 
FormLetterKIA.docx 


FormLetterCognitoHazard_other.docx 


SCP-3622: Agile, Handle with Care 


Anomalous Item Entry 
Item #: SCP-3622 


Object Class: Keter 


Last updated by R. Diaghilev, 31/12/2017 23:59:59 UTC. [REDACTED] 
Display version: Level 3/3622 [Redacted Elements: 7 | Redaction supervisor: D. 
Nedjelski ten.pcs.hcrsr|ikslejden.d#ten.pcs.hcrsr|ikslejden.d ] 


Special Containment Procedures: 


Instances of SCP-3622-1 are to be contained whenever possible, 
through a combination of misinformation, talent acquisition, and 
corporate sabotage. In the event that instances of SCP-3622-1 must 
be taken into Foundation custody, they are to be held in temporary 
standard humanoid containment for 72 hours, and issued class A 
amnestics. 


Under no circumstances are SCP-3622-1 instances to be contained 
together, except during testing. 


In the event of SCP-3622 infection reaching unmanageable levels, 
instances of SCP-3622-1 are either to be acquired by the 
Foundation, or to be encouraged to seek employment at other 
organizations by Foundation agents. 


Suspicions of SCP-3622 infection in Foundation software teams is to 
be reported immediately. All persons suspected of SCP-3622 
infection are not to participate in any Agile methodology meetings, or 
proceedings until SCP-3622 infection is either ruled out, or wears 


off. 


In the event of a mass outbreak of SCP-3622-1, termination is 
authorized in select circumstances. Please see Document 
SCP-3622-T-EX for circumstances and approval chain. 


Prepared by Dr. D. Nedjelski, Agent R. Donnarson, 17/4/2017 11:23:51 UTC. 
ten.pcs.hcrsr|ikslejden.d#ten.pcs.hcrsr|ikslejden.d, ten.pcs.ces| 
nosrannod.r#ten.pcs.ces|nosrannod.r 


Description: 


SCP-3622 is a memetic effect which affects computer programmers 
exposed to SCP-3622's infection vectors. SCP-3622 affects any 
human who creates, modifies, or maintains software and uses Agile 
development methodologies'. Affected subjects are collectively 
designated SCP-3622-1. 


SCP-3622-1 instances will begin to introduce minor delays in any 
daily meetings, development processes, or productivity tools that 
they interact with, until said processes are brought to a complete 
stand-still. SCP-3622-1 will also pass SCP-3622 on to any other 

humans qualifying as SCP-3622-1 hosts. 


SCP-3622's primary transmission occurs through a hallucinatory 
entity, which appears on software development teams through 
anomalous means. This entity takes the form of a managerial 
employee, usually deemed an "efficiency consultant", which creates 
the initial infection vector. Universally, this entity disappears within 
24 hours of initial infection. Members of the software team then 
become instances of SCP-3622-1 and become the secondary 
infection vector. SCP-3622's effect is passed on by instances of 
SCP-3622-1 through currently unknown anomalous means. 


In most subjects, SCP-3622's effects will cease to manifest after 72 
hours, if isolated from other instances of SCP-3622-1. Several cases 
have significantly longer, or significantly shorter periods of time. All 
individuals showing this discrepancy have brain stem disorders or 
deformaties. 


Prepared by Dr. D. Nedjelski, 17/4/2017 11:14:55 UTC. ten.pcs.hcrsr| 
ikslejden.d#ten.pcs.hcrsr|ikslejden.d 


Updated Effect Vector 


Persons with disorders affecting the brain stem were particularly 
affected significantly shorter (sometimes for minutes or less), until / 
/, corresponding to an "update" to SCP-3622. (See Addendum 

4). 


Attached by Dr. L. Oliviera, 22/9/2017 17:22:67 UTC. ten.pcs.hcrsr| 
areivilo.l#ten.pcs.hcrsr|areivilo.| 


Attached Addenda 


Discovery Report 


SCP-3622 was discovered on / / when Foundation agents 
placed at [REDACTED] Inc. reported significantly fewer salient data 
points over a six week period. Foundation assets brought the agents 
in under the guise of extended sabbatical. 


Agents Kuthrupali and Saksena recovered from the effects of 
SCP-3622 after 72 hours. 


The following is a transcript of an initial interview with Agents 
Saksena and Kuthrupali. 


Interview - Initial Discovery Debrief 


Interviewer: Dr. S. Callaghan, Department of 
Psychology. 
Interviewed: Agents Saksena and Kuthrupali 


Date of Interview: 16/6/2017, 09:22:34 UTC 


Doctor Callaghan: So tell me what happened. 


Agent Saksena: It all seemed so normal. Our 
standups were around five or ten minutes, 
right? 


Agent Kuthrupali: Ten at the outside. 
Doctor Callaghan: Right, and? 


Agent Saksena: They started getting longer. 
Like, a lot longer. We went from giving 
updates, to giving code reviews, to giving in 
depth discussions about methodology and 
style. It seemed so normal, like...for real. | 
didn't even notice. 


Agent Kuthrupali: The average got up to 
like...four hours. Sometimes more. It was even 
worse with the git repo2. | swear, when we got 
pulled out, | was on page six of my referenced 
commit message which explained why | used 
the syntax | did, it was insane. 


Doctor Callaghan: Any idea when it started? 


Agent Saksena: Looking back, yeah. It's 
pretty obvious it was right around the time that 
Steve, at least | think his name was Steve, 
joined. But here's the crazy part, now that 
whatever the hell was going on, isn't going on, 
I'm really really certain Steve isn't real. 


Agent Kuthrupali: | think he's right. Steve 
joined in September, as an... efficiency 
consultant? So we had to listen to them. We 
resisted at first, until the changes became 
mandatory. Then it was like, we wanted to 
make them. 


Doctor Callaghan: What sorts of things 


changed other than what you've mentioned? 


Agent Kuthrupali: Good example, our 
documentation wiki. 


Agent Saksena: Christ. Yeah. 
Doctor Callaghan: Mmm? 


Agent Kuthrupali: Okay, so normally with 
software, it's like document it well enough to 
work, but get the work done. By the time 
December rolls around, | was writing two or 
three pages of wiki text, per ten lines of code. 
Like, explaining every assignment and variable 
name. 


Agent Saksena: | can't stress this enough. It 
all seemed so normal. 


Doctor Callaghan: Well, your brain waves 
show no anomalous activity. You guys'll be on 
leave for a few more days, then probably 
assigned to desk work for now. 


Agent Kuthrupali: Understood. Thanks doc. 
Agent Saksena: No problem, thanks doctor. 


Doctor Callaghan: That's it, you can shut off 
the tape. 


END OF LOG 


Prepared by Dr. S. Callaghan, 17/6/2017 03:22:21 UTC. ten.pcs.dem| 
nahgallac.s#ten.pcs.dem|nahgallac.s 


Effect Clarification 


Generally, SCP-3622 will slow down a specific team to the point 
where the developers will come in to work, consume resources, and 
produce no viable work. As reported in debriefing transcripts, this 
slow down will not seem out of the ordinary to instances of 
SCP-3622-1. 


Extended observation of SCP-3622 and SCP-3622-1 instances at 
Bond Street LLC have produced several examples of SCP-3622 
behaviors: 


* Daily meetings (commonly referred to as "standups") to 

discuss progress on ongoing software projects increase in 

duration steadily. Average duration increase is between 7 and 

12 minutes per week, and appears to have a final duration of 

a maximum of eight hours. 

Issue tracking descriptions growing increasingly complex, and 

implementing arbitrary rules for style. 

Version tracking complexity increasing until general codebase 

changes are near, or total zero. 

¢ Documentation requirements sharply increasing for arbitrary 
reasons, which are rapidly abandoned. 


Prepared by Agent Saksena, 15/8/2017 02:14:27 UTC. ten.pcs.ofni| 
aneskas.a.a#ten.pcs.ofnijaneskas.a.a 


Escalation of Effects and Confirmed Use of SCP-3622 


On // the Foundation intercepted a mass email to several 
organizations (see Document-3622-1) confirmed to be using 
SCP-3622, regarding installation and setup instructions for a new 
version of the SCP-3622 software. 


According to the attached email, the effects of SCP-3622 have been 
changed and intensified. See text below: 


Intercepted Email 
To: Valued Clients <g=clients_list> 


From: Mike Summers 
<moc.seigolonhcetffonedel| 


sremmusm#moc.seigolonhcetffonedel| 
sremmusm> 

CC: Ledenoff Sales 
<moc.seigolonhcetffonedel| 
selas#moc.seigolonhcetffonedel|selas>, 
WACS Support <moc.seigolonhcetffonedel| 
troppus.scaw#moc.seigolonhcetffonedel| 
troppus.scaw>, QUQA Dev Ops 
<moc.seigolonhcetffonedel| 
tsid_spo_ca_ug#moc.seigolonhcetffonedel| 
tsid_spo_ca_uq> 

Hey all, this is Mike, 


As we promised, we're releasing version 2.2.7 
this weekend. Please shut down your clusters, 
and make sure that ports 22, 80, and 
[REDACTED] are open to our servers, as the 
upgrade will only work if it's verified through 
Our servers on port [REDACTED]. 


We're really excited about this one! Issue 
tracking is always a hassle in the end, haha! 
We've also fixed a few nasty bugs, most 
significantly an edge case which nearly 
negated Quaesturas™ benefits in certain 
circumstances. Thanks for the great bug 
reports, guys! 


If anyone still hasn't upgraded their cluster 
software or hardware from the last version, 
please email us for support immediately. Your 
support contract will expire without updated 
hardware! 


Thanks again for being loyal Quaesturas™ 
customers. 


We look forward to your continual support and 
patronage. 


Mike Summers, 


CEO 
Ledenoff Technologies 


After this email was intercepted, observations at [REDACTED] Inc. 
showed additional instances of SCP-3622-1 throughout multiple 
locations belonging to their competitors, apparently spread through 
the target's issue tracking software. Additional investigation into 
instances of SCP-3622 at other organizations showed the same 
patterns, indicating this "upgrade" to the "Quaesturas" software 
expanded its anomalous effect significantly. 


Most significantly the original timing discrepancy found in subjects 
with brain stem disorders was no longer observed. 


Prepared by Technician B. Solano, 15/8/2017 09:14:55 UTC. ten.pcs.ved| 
onalos.b#ten.pcs.ved|onalos.b 


Initial Contact with Potential Gol/Pol 


Ledenoff Technologies is incorporated in Wilmington, Delaware, 
within the United States. Foundation agents approached the 
organizations registered business address under the guise of a 
Foundation shell company, with overtures to purchase the software 
and hardware components which cause SCP-3622. Foundation 
Agents were dispatched to their corporate headquarters in Toronto, 
Canada. After six hours within the office building, contact with the 
agents was lost. 


Six minutes after loss of contact, an email was sent to the shell 
corporation email server. 


Attached is the text of the email received: 
Email Received by Foundation 


To: Daniel Kaber <moc.noidlaks| 
22rebakd#moc.noidlaks|22rebakd> 
From: Mike Summers 
<moc.seigolonhcetffonedel| 
sremmusm#moc.seigolonhcetffonedell| 


sremmusm> 
CC: Ledenoff Sales 
<moc.seigolonhcetffonedel| 
selas#moc.seigolonhcetffonedel|selas>, 
Skaldion Distributed <moc.noidlaks| 
tsid_ks#moc.noidlaks|tsid_ks> 


Hey there, Mike here, 


I'm sure we can come to some kind of 
agreement here, but you're gonna have to get 
serious. 


Our technology is the real deal. If we could 
give you a Client list (which we can't, of course, 
haha), you'd be shocked at the names on it. 
Everyone uses us! 


Unfortunately, we have a strict no-proxy policy 
with our clients. If your "Foundation" would like 
to acquire a Quaesturas™ cluster, we're more 
than willing to negotiate. Keep in mind 
however, we have a very strict usage limit for 
the Quaesturas™ cluster technologies. We 
expect all of our clients to keep it toa 
reasonable level, and will intervene if we feel 
this technology is being abused.