Keiler: |, | don't know, thousands of vehicles, thousands, 
like goddamn constellations in this endless blackness. 
We were drifting around, or they were, probably both. 
There were no reference points, just us all and this, well 
space | suppose. Jesus, we spent so long there. | don't 
know how long we had drifted there, but it more than | 
care to imagine. We saw a damn sight more than your 
average tankman, | tell you, it was a museum and a SCi-fi 
flick all in one. | saw a beaten-up Model T, dozens of 
Chevys and Cadillacs, old panzers and this one thing, it 
was like no car I'd ever seen, all curves and spoilers, like 
2001: A Space Odyssey. 


Interviewer: How apt. 


Keiler: Yeah, | guess. There were people in them, but 
they were moving like they were in molasses or 
something, in slow-motion. Then, as suddenly as we'd 
arrived, we were falling, down away from that great cloud 
of automobiles. We saw some others falling too, but they 
just faded into nothingness. We kept on going through 


the black, then it was white, then just blue [REDACTED] 
sky, we were like a dolphin out of the ground. It was a 
beautiful moment, thought I'd never see land again. 


| watched them fall asleep or something, my crew | 
mean, one by one. Then | must have done the same. 
Next thing, I'm in a warehouse with you guys! 
[laughs] Some grand adventure home, huh? 


End Log, 1213 12/07/1993 


Closing Statement: Recovery site of ‘Jeannie’ hereby 
designated SCP-1973, Keiler's account implies the 
existence of other such 'wormholes’, the possibility of a 
network is being explored. Crew of ‘Jeannie’ (hereby 
designated SCP-1973-1) voice concerns at their 
confinement to site , but have agreed to remain. 
Security risk is deemed minimum. 


Addendum: The search for the location of the Vietnamese 
‘wormhole’ is suspended as of 04/09/2001 due to subsequent 
changes in topography and the associated security risk of a physical 
sweep of this size. Verification of other suspected sites is proving 
difficult due to assumed temporal and proven physical displacement. 
Attempts to follow the movements of test vehicles via the use of 
tracking devices has proved fruitless and thus they remain 
unrecovered. 


"Christ! you guys still looking for that thing? Finding that 
damn paddy is like finding a haystack in a stack of 
haystacks, you know?" 

-Lt. Keiler, Commander of SCP-1973-1 


« SCP-1972 | SCP-1973 | SCP-1974 » 


SCP-1974: Debating Tub and Communist Water 


Item #: SCP-1974 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1974 is to be contained in 
a standard low value item storage vault at Site-242. Any D class 
personnel or researchers may perform interviews or testing with 
SCP-1974 with permission from any researcher or senior researcher 
working on SCP-1974. 


Description: SCP-1974 is a free-standing ceramic bathtub with a 
capacity of 148.2 liters, typical of the kind sold in the United States 
from the 1930's through the mid-1960's. When recovered, it 
contained 124 liters of water. Any substance added to the water 
inside of SCP-1974 will be drained or filtered out through unknown 
means. If drained, SCP-1974 will refill itself at a rate equivalent to 
the rate at which it is being drained, maintaining a constant volume 
of 124 liters. 


When a subject makes contact with the the water inside of 
SCP-1974, they will immediately begin to hear two voices. One 
voice, hereby designated SCP-1974-1, has been described as that 
of an American male of about eighty-five years of age. The other 
voice, hereby designated SCP-1974-2, has been described as a 
male with a thick Russian accent of around the same age. The 
former claims to be SCP-1974, while the latter claims to be the 
water filling SCP-1974. 


SCP-1974-1 and SCP-1974-2 appear to dislike each other and are 
described as debating constantly. The debates between 
SCP-1974-1 and SCP-1974-2 are about capitalism, communism, 
and the historical and current states of the United States of America, 
the Soviet Union, and China. 


Audio Log-1974-01: 


Foreword: Dr. Hull performs an interview with 
SCP-1974-1 and SCP-1974-2 in an attempt to ascertain 
their origin. 

<Begin Log> 

Dr. Hull: Hello! Would you two mind if | asked you some 
quest- 


SCP-1974-1: No, no, no, no, no, no. No. The Russians 
would've never won if the Cuban missile crisis wasn't 
resolved. Maybe if you'd gotten an American education 
instead of a Russian one, you'd be smart enough to not 
make comments like that. 


SCP-1974-2: Oh really? The American educational 
system was so much better than the Soviet one? Look at 
the statistics. With the children of the motherland being 
that much better at science, you'd hope that we could've 
won a war against you egotists. In fact, with smart Soviet 
kids and an ally like China, how could the communists 
not become the dominant political party? 


Dr. Hull: | have questions about your origins. Would you 
please answer them fo- 


SCP-1974-1: Because communism was thought up by a 
deranged kraut. Who wants to share when you can get 
rich like | was? 


SCP-1974-2: The people in China are perfectly happy. 
And would you look at that? China also has smarter kids 
than the US and a better economy and a bigger military. 
Maybe if America could stop staring at its muscles in the 
mirror, it could try to fend off the impending communist 
invasion by China. It wouldn't matter though; you'd be 
beaten anyway. Communism is bound to return to 
power! 


SCP-1974-1: Ha! All you can do is hope. Just like you'll 
never be able to escape me without dying, communism 
will never be able to escape capitalism. America is 


eternal! What do you think of that commie? 

Dr. Hull: Whose fault is it that you are like this? 
SCP-1974-2: Remember why we're here, tubby? It's 
because big smart American thought it would be a great 
idea to try to turn a Soviet POW into a tub of water. Then 
you thought ‘hey, | wonder if | could be a bathtub?’. Well 
guess what? You can and now we're both trapped here, 
dammit! 


SCP-1974-1: | think water got dumber from getting your 
consciousness! 


SCP-1974-2: Egotistical ass! 
SCP-1974-1: Soviet savage! 
SCP-1974-2: Wasp! 

SCP-1974-1: Kook! 

SCP-1974-2: Yank! 

SCP-1974-1: lvan! 

SCP-1974-2: | wish | could be drained! 


SCP-1974-1: | wish | could drain you! Maybe you'd shut 
up for once if your only company is worms! 


SCP-1974-2: | hope you get smashed! 

Dr. Hull: Both of you! For God's sake you're a bathtub 
filled with water! Why are you arguing about politics of all 
things? 


SCP-1974-1: Because we need something to do! 


SCP-1974-2: For once we agree about something. 


Dr. Hull: What else do you two do? 


SCP-1974-1: We talk about how much we hate you, 
lardass. So back to debate? 


Dr. Hull: Wai- 
SCP-1974-2: Indee- 


Dr. Hull: Oh no, I'm not done yet. So what you're telling 
me is that you just sit here insulting each other and going 
in circles arguing about politics for fun? And then when 
you get bored of that, you talk about me behind my 
back? 


SCP-1974-1: That sums it up. Now if you'd excuse us 
doct- 


Dr. Hull: Thank you for the information. | will interview 
you again soon. 


[Dr. Hull terminates contact with SCP-1974 and leaves 
the testing chamber.] 
<End Log> 


« SCP-1973 | SCP-1974 | SCP-1975 » 


SCP-1975: Vindictive Hula Girl 


Item #: SCP-1975 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1975 is to be kept at Site- 

within a standard containment locker. During testing, instances of 
SCP-1975-1 are to be operated by D-Class personnel, as the 
repeated construction and destruction of remotely operated vehicles 
has been deemed an unnecessary drain on the Foundation's 
resources. No personnel considered valuable to the Foundation are 
permitted to enter instances of SCP-1975-1 under any 
circumstances. 


To ensure the safety of Foundation personnel, at least two (2) 
specimens of Odocoileus virginianus (white-tailed deer) are to be 
present in immediate vicinity of SCP-1975-1 when undergoing 
testing (see Incident Report 1975-3). Researchers wishing to 
substitute another member of the Cervidae family must provide 
written approval from Dr. Baxter. 


Description: SCP-1975 is a single instance of a mass-produced 
plastic hula girl figurine. The figure's skirt will sway when minimal 
force is applied. On the base of SCP-1975 is an inscription written 
with a felt-tip marker. The inscription is slightly faded, but still legible 
(see Addendum 1975-B). When SCP-1975 is placed inside a 
motorized vehicle, said vehicle becomes an instance of SCP-1975-1 
and will remain so until SCP-1975 is removed. 


SCP-1975-1's anomalous effects are triggered when the vehicle 
reaches certain velocities. These effects appear to have been 
designed with the intent to instigate automotive accidents. The 
lethality of these effects is directly proportional to the speed of the 
vehicle, with higher speeds increasing the likelihood of death. 


If an instance of SCP-1975-1 is destroyed, SCP-1975 will vanish 


from the wreckage and reappear inside the motorized vehicle 
nearest to the crash site. Video cameras placed within instances of 
SCP-1975-1 during testing have captured footage of SCP-1975 
being cracked, burned, and melted during the course of various 
wrecks; however, SCP-1975 always reappears undamaged and no 
fragments have ever been found on crash sites. Similarly, if 
SCP-1975 is intentionally damaged, it will repair itself by unknown 
means when not being observed. 


Addendum 1975-A: The following are the anomalous effects 
displayed by SCP-1975-1 and the speeds at which they are 
triggered: 


Speed Effect 

90 km/h If the vehicle contains a 
functioning radio, it will turn on at 
full volume. The radio will not 
exhibit any additional anomalous 
effects and can be turned off 
normaily. 

100 km/h Steering wheel will behave 
erratically, occasionally rotating of 
its own accord. The wheel's 
pattern of behavior seems to 
mimic that of an intoxicated 
driver. 

110 km/h Vehicle will instantaneously rotate 
180°. It will continue to move at 
the same speed, but in the 
opposite direction. 

120 km/h If a cervine creature (deer, 
moose, elk, etc.) is present within 
a5 km radius of the vehicle, it will 
be thrown toward the vehicle by 
an unseen force. The speed at 
which the creature travels 
appears to vary depending on its 
proximity to the vehicle, with 
234 km/h being the highest 
recorded speed. If no cervine 


creature is present within the 

given radius, the nearest 
mammalian creature will be 
substituted (see Incident Report 
1975-3). 

130 km/h Every door will open to its fullest 
extent and all occupants will be 
jettisoned from the vehicle. 


Addendum 1975-B: Inscription on the figurine's base: 


2 of U = MADE 4 each other. Not even mad. Have fun on 
the road! — Tiff 


« SCP-1974 | SCP-1975 | SCP-1976 » 


SCP-1976: To My Son Who Will Never Know Me 


Item #: SCP-1976 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1976 is to be contained 
within a standard humanoid containment chamber, located within 
Site-77's Safe SCP wing. Personnel entering SCP-1976's 
containment chamber are to wear tinted goggles to prevent 
accidental viewing of SCP-1976. All images and videos depicting 
SCP-1976 have been destroyed, and the creation of new images is 
to be considered a minor containment breach. 


Description: SCP-1976 is a humanoid organism, approximately 2 
meters tall and weighing 120 kilograms. When viewed remotely, 
SCP-1976 resembles the subject believed to be responsible for its 
creation, an adult male named , In a persistent vegetative 
state. A tattoo of English text is present on its back. See Addendum. 


If a pubescent human subject is able to view SCP-1976, whether by 
seeing it physically or on a reproduced image such as a photograph 
or video, they will come under the immediate and permanent belief 
that SCP-1976 is the person they recognize as their father, who has 
recently been injured due to a serious accident. Subjects will attempt 
to draw attention to their father's condition, which will invariably lead 
to additional subjects being affected by SCP-1976. If an SCP-1976- 
affected person is presented with their real father, they will not 
recognize them and react as though they were a stranger. Subjects 
who have never known a father figure, have a deceased father, or 
have lived without their father since early childhood, will be 
unaffected. 


If more than one subject is affected by SCP-1976 at once, they will 
each believe that SCP-1976 is their father. They will attempt to 
conduct logical arguments with other SCP-1976-affected subjects, 
attempting to use their interpretations of SCP-1976's appearance to 


convince them. When these attempts invariably fail, subjects will 
attempt to take SCP-1976 by force, sometimes attempting to contact 
higher levels of authority in order to accomplish this. 


SCP-1976 was discovered on 9/17/1976, after a case of massive 
confusion caused by SCP-1976 at a local hospital reached 
Foundation assets. Investigation into SCP-1976's origin revealed 
that it had been taken to the hospital from a residential address in 
Huntington, WV. Several documents were recovered from the 
address, with neighbors and family members issued amnestics. 


Addendum: Text is believed to have been created by Alan ,a 
former schoolteacher who had died of a brain tumor 2 months prior 
to SCP-1976's recovery. Investigation into connections between this 
individual and possible groups of interest have not yielded 
substantial evidence. It is possible that Mr. is connected to the 
Syncope Symphony. 


| just wanted to be there for my kids. They're too young 
for this. Jess is 13, and Liz just turned 12. | wanted them 
to have a father when they grew up, and for Margaret to 
have a husband. When we learned about the tumor, | 
wanted to spend as much time with them as possible, 
and | did. These past months we've grown closer than 
ever. But my head keeps getting worse, and our last 
days together are coming. They deserved better than old 
memories and photographs. 


Started making it with the things I'd saved from my 
younger days. It wasn't as much as there was back then, 
but it needed to be done. | got the body from the 
crematorium. Used to work there, so it wasn't much of a 
hassle to get in. Need a minute, my head started to hurt 
as | write this. There's a ringing in my ears. Loud and 
clear. Not ringing. | can hear how the children used to 
sing. 


It didn't take that long to do. That was probably the 
problem, not spending enough time on it. Not making 
sure it was what it was supposed to be instead of what it 
actually was. | couldn't have done it over, but it could've 


been destroyed. 


When | brought it home, | told them | was an emergency 
worker, bringing "Alan" from an accident. It was bullshit, 
but the effect should've filled in the gaps. When | showed 
Liz and Jess the thing...they just asked where their dad 
was. And Margaret thought it was her dad. They asked 
me where their daddy was, and | couldn't tell them and 
they cried and | cried and had to leave. Never went back. 
| didn't want to make them never have any father. | was 
just doing it for my kids. 


« SCP-1975 | SCP-1976 | SCP-1977 » 


SCP-1977: Eye of the Storm 


Item #: SCP-1977 
Object Class: Safe