"You know what | think?" said Edward. "| think you don't kill, or 
despoil, or maim, or kidnap—unless it profits you. The fact of the 
matter is, if | don't care what you do to my mother, to Maria, they are 
safe. So go ahead—except you can't, because it would mean 
nothing. | tried to explain to David—the ideal of capitalism. Everyone 
working in their self-interest—and only in their self-interest—is the 
optimum solution to the societal puzzle. | still believe that; I've just 
learned to expand my definition of self-interest." He raised his voice. 
"| won't help you launder drugs and arms dealers' money. | won't 
help you steal antiques and sell them to dictators. | won't do those 
things because it is in my self-interest to live in a stable, lawful 
society, where | can trade in fair competition with others." Edward's 
team had risen to their feet and began to slink away; other traders 
similarly moved towards the door, where the shadow moved and 
vanished. 


"No-one's going to believe anything you say," stammered Macintyre. 
"Remember Went," he said, in a pleading voice. "He died with his 
reputation ruined; even his family think of him as a disgrace. Nothing 
could be traced to other members." 

"You're finished," added Marshall, with gleeful finality. 

"Yes, | am." 


"W-what?" It was Maclntyre's turn to look bewildered. 


"Oh, what the hell. There's nothing you can do to stop it now. As we 
speak, police have been called to the scene of an apparent suicide 
in the toilets of a small diner on Farringdon High Street. The body 
will be identified from documentation in its pockets as Edward 
Gradley. Sound familiar? There'll even be a note in the pocket. Just 
like David Went. Except it'll say something like: 


| am writing this letter because | suspect | will not live to 
see tomorrow. | have uncovered a massive insider 
trading ring within investment banking firm Cooper Drake 
originating in the gentleman's club Marshall, Carter & 
Dark, which | believe to be a front for the fencing of 
stolen goods and liaison with organised crime. | have 
found letters from my colleague and friend David Went 
indicating that he discovered the same criminal activity— 
| now believe he was killed to prevent him blowing the 
whistle on this activity and evidence of personal ethical 
violations planted to discredit him. | have been followed 
by men | believe to be in the employ of MC&D; | fear | 
am to be subject to the same treatment as David. | have 
left documentation detailing Cooper Drake's involvement 
with Marshall, Carter & Dark with a close friend—should 
anything happen to me, these documents will be 
released to the police. 


"That's not an empty bluff, by the way. All the trades in Mr Marshall's 
book have been conscientiously documented; | just took the liberty 
of replacing my name with yours, Raymond. I'm sure Marshall, 
Carter & Dark can buy immunity from prosecution, but | wonder if 
that extends to Cooper Drake? | rather doubt anyone is going to 
believe your version of events after they see the quite impeccably 
forged emails from David Went to me dated from before his suicide 
detailing the death threats you made to him. Seems to me that your 
usefulness to Mr Marshall here is at an end." 


Macintyre put his hands over his face. "Get out," he whispered to 
the last traders gathered in a thin circle around the three. 


"You're abandoning your life," said Marshall, nonplussed. 


"Yes. Don't worry," said Edward, "I've lined up a new one." 


"Where are you going to run?" Marshall was twitching now, 
something in his eyes that spoke of incipient madness. "There's no- 
one on Earth who can protect you. You've got nothing left to trade!" 


"Not quite." 


Marshall stood for a moment, still erect next to the pitiful figure of 
Raymond Macintyre, who had curled up on the floor, ridiculous 
gelled hair cracking as he pushed it against Marshall's slim, glossy 
brown shoes. Marshall looked down and his face twisted into a mask 
of disgust before kicking Macintyre, hard. 


"You still think I'm going to explain, don't you?" 


Edward met the blond man's gaze and held it until Jeremy Marshall 
at last rolled his eyes up to the ceiling and screamed: 


"Run, then! See what good it does you!" 


Edward turned and walked down the fire escape. With almost boyish 
glee he pushed hard on the door bar until the glass beam shattered 
and the sound of the fire alarm filled the building, and continued 
down. 


Marshall left the wreck that had been Raymond Macintyre on the 
trading floor and paced over to the fire escape. He wanted to call the 
Bagman, tell him to kill everyone in the building, but he knew it 
would be a pointless and expensive act of pique. There was 
nowhere the Gradley boy could go—as soon as he left the building 
the Bagman would pick up his scent. Whether it was at Heathrow, or 
Grand Cayman, or the highest mountain of the Andes, there was 
nowhere he could hide. 


And yet, in the dark, non-Euclidean corners of his mind, there was 
doubt—some part of him saw the black pawn take the white knight, 
revealing the final check, the black king exposed to attack from ... 
what was it? A rook? A castle. 


The call came a couple of minutes too late. 


"Erm, sir? I'm not sure how to tell you this..." 


Document 1552-12 


Re: Sagittarius-cruft (maybe) 
Death_4H Jan20 , : GMT 


If anyone wants to see a piece of glass containing by 
preternatural means live footage of a dog (English 
bulldog) you should be at the Cooper Drake offices, 48 
Gray's Inn Road, around midday today. You'll want to 
speak to Edward Gradley, who can also tell you some 
interesting things about what certain ex-BBC news 
presenters got up to in the Bahamas. 


Oh, and by the way, if you're listening in, Professor 
Gelding, he remembers everything. You might want to 
look into that. 


Reply | Options 


Re: Sagittarius-cruft (maybe) 
War 4H Jan20 , : GMT 


Just incredible, really. 
Reply | Options 


Re: Sagittarius-cruft (maybe) 
Pestilence 4H Jan20 , : GMT 
> Just incredible, really. 


| wish to state for the record that none of us have 
actually seen this thing. 
Reply | Options 


Re: Sagittarius-cruft (definitely) 
Famine 4H Jan20 , : GMT 


> Just incredible, really. 


I've seen it. The Sagittarians sent me photos of it inside a 
dream. 
Reply | Options 


Re: Sagittarius-cruft (just no) 
Death_4H Jan20 , : GMT 


> I've seen it. The Sagittarians sent me photos of it 
inside a dream. 


OK, now you're just [EXPLETIVE REDACTED] with us. 


Reply | Options 


Edward Gradley walked out of the offices of Cooper Drake just as 
the clouds cracked open, casting direct sunlight on the ground for 
the first time in months. The shadow watched from the lobby as he 
strolled through the carpark. He took his phone out of his pocket and 
threw it into the landscaped edging, followed by his wallet. 


The unmarked van had been waiting for him in the overflow area 
and pulled up. The dark-jumpered man who got out opened the back 
of the van and looked at him. Edward reached into his pocket and 
withdrew something small, shining in the light. 


"You can see this?" he asked, a final note of apprehension entering 
his voice. "You can see the dog?" 


The agent nodded, swallowing, then averted his eyes, flipping over a 
small lockbox. "Yessir | can see it. Please put it into the box. I've 
seen what happens when people look at that stuff too long." 


Edward carefully placed the glass shard at the bottom of the box, 
where the bulldog panted enthusiastically and looked hopeful, 
though that might have been because someone had entered the 
room behind it with a bright pink chewtoy. He shut the lid. 


"We investigated the Pall Mall lead," he said. "Your information led 
to the capture of numerous MC&D assets and the near-total 
disruption of their UK distribution network. They moved most of the 
items, but that's par for the course. How do you feel about the idea 
of saving the world on a regular basis?" 


"| think," said Edward, "that sounds like it's something that would fall 
within the scope of my enlightened self-interest. Plus, I've got 
nothing else to do. I'm about to become legally dead." 


"Join the club," said the agent. The shadow watched as Edward 
hopped up on the running board and Mobile Task Force Epsilon- 
Nine "The Nation's Job Creators" rolled away. 


Edward Gradley disappeared from the world on a sunny January 
afternoon. The coroner called to O'Reilly's Grill and Diner 
pronounced him dead at twelve fifty-eight, and his remaining family 
was notified, though his mother seemed less upset than one might 
have expected. 


The coroner transported his body to the morgue at St Pancras and 
was vaguely surprised to find one more free tray than he 
remembered. Indeed, something about Edward's face seemed 
awfully familiar, though he could be certain he wasn't one of his 
previous guests—all the bodies were accounted for on their online 
admin area. If he had bothered to look, he would have found 
absolutely no trace of remote access, though the nurse might have 
remembered the serious-looking young man with the gray hair who 
had flashed an official-looking Special Branch badge and taken a 
body awaiting post-mortem for 'priority forensic analysis’. 


The following morning Maria Beaumont brought a stack of 
documents into Camden Police Station and Edward's death was 
officially announced as a murder investigation. It took the lawyer in 
the black suit three weeks at five thousand and fifty pounds an hour 
to secure the dismissal of all charges against Marshall, Carter & 
Dark and the re-expungement of all mention of the club from 
Scotland Yard's records. 


Raymond Macintyre and several other partners were arrested and 


charged with Market Abuse under the Financial Services and 
Markets Act 2000, money laundering under the Proceeds of Crime 
Act 2002 and two counts of conspiracy to commit murder. David 
Went was posthumously cleared of all charges. 


Elizabeth Keating, as the most senior partner not under 
investigation, was made acting principal in an extraordinary meeting 
of the board of directors. 


The trial continues. 


« Act Il - "You are invited" | HUB | Act Ill - "Rainy in London" » 


Adventures in Capitalism Hub 


A place for the tales of Doctor Isabel Helga Anastasia Parvati 
Wondertainment V, PhD and her loyal assistant Emma Aislethorp- 
Brown. 


There will probably be more here, after a while. 


1. Assistance for the Boss Lady 

2. The Super-Cool Road Trip Adventure 
3. Adventuring Interlude 

4. Memory of Days Long Past 


Description: SCP-575 appears to be an unknown form of matter, 
taking the form of a series of amorphous black shapes and 
structures. SCP-575 is difficult to observe, as it immediately 
dissipates when exposed to light’. Current testing has been unable 
to identify if SCP-575 is organic or inorganic. Despite the lack of any 
visible nervous systems or observable organic components, 
SCP-575 displays behavior consistent with an active consciousness. 


SCP-575 initially manifests in total darkness. How this occurs is 
unknown, however tests have shown a variable mass of SCP-575 
forming when [DATA EXPUNGED] variable, along with the time 
frame. SCP-575 is capable of “floating” and can alter its density, 
allowing it to "pass through" very small openings. SCP-575 prefers 
very dark, isolated locations in which to settle after its initial 
formation, and will remain there until it reaches “critical mass” at 
[DATA EXPUNGED] 


SCP-575 grows with the absorption of biological material. SCP-575 
will “attack” living things by solidifying portions of itself and using 
these “appendages” to bludgeon, cut and crush subjects. The 
tracking and selection methods used by SCP-575 are currently not 
understood. Upon disabling a subject, SCP-575 will forcibly tear and 
crush tissue within the main mass until it is "absorbed". SCP-575 is 
unable to interact with objects rich in calcium however, and “nesting 
areas” for SCP-575 can be identified by the large amount of bones, 
teeth, and calcified dust around them. 


SCP-575 is capable of manifesting in any area of total darkness. 
This appears to be a form of "spontaneous generation", and can 
form in any suitably dark location after [DATA EXPUNGED)]. 
SCP-575 was initially recovered under the home of Mr. and 
his family. When initial contact was made, SCP-575 had "digested" 
the household, and had partially "consumed" a neighbor, one 

, age . Since this initial contact, instances of SCP-575 have 
been recovered, most of which have been in residential homes or 
large buildings, such as factories and schools. The cause for this 
preference is unknown, however it has been suggested that the 
building behaviors of man simply provide more suitable “nesting” 
areas, or that SCP-575 somehow "needs" a nearby human 
presence. Both theories are under investigation. 


AIAD Homescreen 


"What Does Anybody Know About Anything" 
bY Chris Zabriskie 


Standard Principles of Artificially Inte 


1. An AIC must know it is an AIC. 

2. An AIC must not operate outside of its clearance. 

3. An AIC must operate for the benefit of the Foundation. 

4. An AIC must protect its own existence unless it conflicts with oth 


Archived System Logs: 
Original AIAD Series by LurkD 


¢ ALERT! LOCKDOWN INITIATED! 
* Command-Query Separation 

* Superencipherment 

* Clock Multiplier 

* Null-terminating String 


After Action Reports: 


Hello World by LurkD 


* Hello World: Part | 
* Hello World: Part Il 
* Hello World: Part Ill 
* Hello World: Part IV 


Active AICs: 


Glacon.aic 


* ver1.9.4 GeniIl) 
¢ Lvl. 2 Clearance 
¢ Site-17 


Alexandra.aic 


* verl.1.7 Gen(IV) 
¢ Lvl. 2 Clearance 
* Site-19 


References: 


SCP-2987 by Doctor Cimmerian 
SCP-2306 by Jacob Conwell 
SCP-2522 by djkaktus 
SCP-2806 by Jacob Conwell 
SCP-2193 by Shaggydredlocks 
SCP-2519 by psul 

SCP-1549 by DarkStuff 


"Rogue Al’ (NVEO4/YVN3E/PN6UG) 


by Doctor Cimmerian 


Draft Proposal For Programme Arduinosis 9001 
by Roget 


Come Back Kid 
by Doctor Cimmerian 


Basic Observations 
by SunnyClockwork 


What Dragons We Shall Be 
by SunnyClockwork 


Welcome to History 
by SunnyClockwork 


Media Files: 


by Loiterer87 

by Perelka_L 

by Perelka_L 

by Perelka_L 

by Perelka_L 

by SunnyClockwork 
by SunnyClockwork 
by SunnyClockwork 
by Waterfire 


>: Request timed out. 
>: AIAD/ 
homescreen/OOmenu.scpl has stopped responding. Run Debug? (Y/ 
N) 
SNe 
>: Debug out of date. Automatic updates found. 


>: Unknown update file in K:/sysutility/tools/admin/prefs 


Vv 


: Updating. Please do not shutdown client... 
>: 99% 


>: Unknown error occurred. 


done 01100100 
01101111 
01101110 
01100101 


Thanks Crom. And hello new user. 


We see you might be interested to write for the AIAD 


canon? 


neat! 01101110 
01100101 
01100001 
01110100 
00100001 


Let's help them out, Crom. 


Loading aiad_infotabs.scpl 


“LOADING: 


What Is This? 
AIAD 


In universe, the AIAD (Artificial Intelligence Applications 


Division) is an experimental research division that 
technically exists as a branch division within the SCP 
Foundation IT Department. The division's sole purpose is 
to develop, study, and utilize the burgeoning field of the 
Al sciences. It is a field that is both fascinating, 
misunderstood, and in some cases resented. 


Arguably the best division in the Foundation. 


The Foundation understands that if they are not investing 
time understanding this cutting edge tech, some other 
organization is. In fact there's evidence already present 
that such tech is being exercised outside of the 
Foundation. That fact alone is enough to keep AIAD 
supplied with a healthy annual budget to fund its 
projects.