Current Status: Domain blocked from all major internet service 
providers. 


Item Description: A rubber ball, 5 cm in diameter, that slowly rolls 
toward the closest living human. Running it through a metal detector 
showed no signs of electronic parts. 

Date of Recovery: 07-02-2017 

Location of Recovery: The break room, rolling around the feet of 
annoyed personnel. 

Current Status: In a small glass container, duct taped to Dr. 
desk. 


S 


Item Description: 30 black baseball hats. When a human puts on 
one of the hats, The logo of their least favorite Major League 
Baseball (MLB) team will appear on the front. If the wearer does not 
possess any knowledge of the MLB, the hat will remain blank. 


Date of Recovery: 07- -2017 

Location of Recovery: , New York, USA 

Current Status: One hat was incinerated, no anomalous properties 
found in remains. The other 29 hats are in the Site-19 lounge. 
Notes: Why does no one here know about the MLB? - Dr. 


Item Description: A jar that self refills itself with cherry licorice 
everytime it becomes empty. 

Date of Recovery: 12-25-20 

Location of recovery: Site- , Guam. 

Current Status: Sitting on the desk of Dr. Spitfire, and oftenly 
brought everywhere he goes. 

Notes: Why do | like Cherry Licorice so much? - Dr. Spitfire 


Item Description: A mouse pad that renders any computer mouse 
useless. 

Date of Recovery: 1-15-20 

Location of recovery: Stock Exchange Office, New York 

Current Status: In storage. 

Notes: No matter how funny you think it would be, do not replace 
another researcher's mouse pad with this. - Dr. 


Item Description: A pack of 12 simple plastic ballpoint pen that 
whenever someone picks one up will remark in English “Wow this 
thing must weigh 500 pounds.” Saying so even if they don’t know 
English or use the imperial system. “Mr. USA - Anartist” is printed on 
every pen. 

Date of Recovery: 7-13-2006 

Location of Recovery: The house of a known anartist in Graz, 
Austria 

Current Status: Site-77 Storage 


Item Description: A sewer grate that appears to be invisible in any 
photo taken on a digital camera. 

Date of Recovery: 8-10-2017 

Location of Recovery: Kyoto, Japan 

Current Status: Under surveillance 


Item Description: A nuclear warhead that constantly plays dubstep. 
The songs are original to the warhead and played at 95 dB. 
Date of Recovery: 5-24-2011 


Location of Recovery: [CLASSIFIED IN CONJUNCTION WITH 
UNITED KINGDOM AUTHORITIES] 

Current Status: Installed as Site-25 on-site nuclear safeguard 
Note: Before containment, a number of songs produced were 
released online crediting "DJ Dirty Nuke" as their creator. We would 
like to speak with whoever is responsible for their release, but the 
songs themselves need no containment. - Dr. Wall 


Item Description: A grey suitcase. Results of X-ray imaging will 
indicate that illegal contraband exist within its conpartments, despite 
any not physically existing. 

Date of Recovery: / /2017 

Location of Recovery: , Canada 

Current Status: In storage within Site- 


Item Description: A small grey blanket with red and blue stripes. 
Despite the soft appearance, it feels like standard issue sandpaper. 
Date of Recovery: 5-2-2014 

Location of Recovery: _, Canada 

Current Status: Inside the office of Dr. Quinton In Site-73 storage. 
Notes: D-7295 used this as a weapon to injure several researchers 
during low-level containment breach, requesting to move item to 
Site-73 storage. - Dr. Quinton 


Item Description: A standard dinner fork that when used will cause 
whatever it has been stabbed into to change into medium rare 
cooked steak. 

Date of Recovery: 7/26/17 

Location of Recovery: Tampa, Florida 

Current Status: In Area-108 standard storage locker. 

Notes: During a low-level containment breach caused by the Chaos 
Insurgency, item was taken out of containment by an escaped 
Class-D and used on several agents. Class-D was terminated and 
item returned to storage. 


Item Description: An acoustic guitar that will play any song, with 
vocals in Kurt Donald Cobain's voice. 

Date of Recovery: 4/5/94 

Location of Recovery: Seattle, Washington 

Current Status: Currently in Dr. Brim's possession. 

Notes: I'll be taking this to my office and keeping it secure, at least 


someone will enjoy the present he left us all. -Dr. Brim 


Item Description: A Teapot orbiting the sun. 

Date of Recovery: 03-09-2003 

Location of Recovery: Detected by the Foundation's Space 
Telescope for observing astronomical anomalies at coordinates 
+ ° ' "at. au of distance from Earth. 

Current Status: All non-foundation telescopes with capabilities of 
detecting the teapot are to be monitored. If the object is detected, all 
data about it should be deleted and class-A amnestics should be 
administrated to non-foundation civilians who observed the object. 
Note: Sending a space mission to recover the object was deemed 
too costly and has been denied by the order of O5- . 


Item Description: A self-containing spatial-temporal paradox. 
Indescribable appearance. 

Date of Recovery: All the time 

Location of Recovery: Everywhere 

Current Status: Not in containment, located in a standard locker. 
Notes: | don't know what or when this thing is, but | think it isn't now. 
- Dr. Javlin 


Item Description: A twelve-inch ruler that changes the length of 
whatever object it is measuring to exactly twelve inches. All other 
measurements of said object are changed proportionally. 

Date of Recovery: / /15 

Location of Recovery: Middle School, , Oregon 

Current Status: Currently in Dr. Bright's possession In storage. 
Notes: Please be advised that any researchers attempting to use 
this item to manipulate the length of a certain bodily extremity will be 
reassigned and severely reprimanded. Seriously, Bright. You're 
going to hurt yourself. - Dr. Brim 


Item Description: Pots of paint, the pigment of which only visually 
stimulates the cone cells in the eye. This effect causes it to appear 
constantly dimly lit, and to become grey when viewed from any 
direction other than head-on. Further effects include headaches and 
eye-ache, after prolonged exposure. 

Date of Recovery: 29/3/2017 

Location of Recovery: ; 

Current Status: Research is underway on utilising this AO as 
camouflage, and on synthesising larger amounts of the pigment. 
SCP-294 to be used for this purpose when free. 

Notes: Interesting, this one. Somehow, the effect also works when 
the pigment is viewed through a photo. I've no idea how. - Dr. 
Hagemeister 


Item Description: A CD with the song "Up in the Sky" by english 
rock band Oasis. When the line "before you start falling" plays, any 
objects not touching the ground in a 6 meter circle around the 
source of the music will immediately fall to the ground at a speed of 
5.4 m/s. This effect extends to the end of the atmosphere. 

Date of Recovery: 7/6/2017 

Location of Recovery: Creation Records warehouse, __, 
Current Status: In storage, accessible if needed to recontain flying 
SCPs. 


Item Description: An otherwise unknown subspecies of Pinus 
pumila (Siberian dwarf pine). The wood of this species functions as 
a superconducter, with a resistance of practically zero. 

Date of Recovery: 9-13-1992 

Location of Recovery: [REDACTED], Siberia 

Current Status: Due to the species’ isolated location and low 
population, only minimal containment is necessary. Currently, 
Outpost-18 of Site- has been set up to monitor the only known 
population. 


Item Description: An ornate vase, which, when observed, slightly 
corrupts any medium containing information about it (This effect 
extends to memory). Scale of corruption is proportional with duration 
of viewing. 

Date of Recovery: 15/11/2000 

Location of Recovery: , 


itself once it had been activated once, and would keep 
activating over and over again. Although we were able to 
work out the looping problem in most cases, we could 
not prevent a loop in the case of auto-activation, and we 
never found a solution to auto-activation. The best we 
could do was use a work-around with amnestics and try 
to make sure that knowledge of SCP-898 wasn't 
generally known to Foundation personnel." 


Incident Report 898-23 

On March 21st, 1995, Trooper Rock (MTFT Beta-4-03) was 
watching television in the break room on Site-12. At approximately 
4:03 PM he screamed, drew his sidearm, and fired several rounds 
into the television. He surrendered to custody peacefully afterwards, 
but was unable to explain why he had felt a sudden surge of hostility 
from the television. 


Incident Report 898-27 

On March 29th, 1995, Trooper Wall (MTFT Beta-4-05) was sent on 
a mission to recapture SCP-_, along with the rest of Beta-4. During 
the helicopter flight to SCP- 's location, she reportedly opened fire 
on her Taskforce Leader and other members of her squad when 
they tried to restrain her. The commander was wounded but 
survived. Trooper Wall was killed in the fight. MTFL Beta-4-01 
reported that he had been giving the squad a "warm-up speech" 
when Wall attacked him. 


Excerpt from Interview w/ Dr. Grienko (12/13/1995) 


Grienko: "Beta-4 was one of several Mobile Taskforce 
teams that we infected with SCP-898 once we thought 
we'd refined it to the point where unexpected bursts of 
aggression or panic would no longer be a problem. We 
were wrong, obviously. | think what we failed to take into 
account is the extent to which memetic propagation is 
inherent in human language. Certain key words or 
phrases that we all use every day represent ideas and 
inspire emotions, and we take this for granted because 
we don't know how to communicate any other way. 898, 
though, somehow interprets certain 'natural' memes as 
threats, even if they don't influence the mind any more 


Current Status: Currently in storage, in an opaque box. 

Notes: At least twenty copies of this text are to be kept at all times. 
On the off chance that the vase is viewed, we can piece together the 
entry from the fragments of each copy.- Dr. Hagemeister 


Item Description: A "Myst" book. Any human who touches the 
picture is teleported into a personal instance of an environment 
faithfully recreating the 1993 adventure game. Appearance of 
teleportation is consistent with the game's "linking" effect. Achieving 
any of the endings "links" the subject to the New Mexico Desert. 
Entering multiple times does not maintain memory of previous visits. 
Date of Recovery: - - 

Location of Recovery: New Mexico Desert 

Current Status: In storage. Cyan Worlds denies knowledge of item. 
Notes: As a lifelong fan of the series, I'm impressed by how 
thorough "Atrus's" knowledge of the lore is, when | can actually get 
him to take a break from his writing.~Dr 


Item Description: A WWII encyclopedia, the name of the author is 
not present on the cover. When a person touches the object, they 
will experience Adolf Hitlers life through a first-person view. This 
experience will reportedly end when they die. Subjects describe the 
experience as interesting, yet somewhat traumatizing. 

Date of Recovery: - - 

Location of Recovery:  , Germany 

Current Status: Incinerated 

Notes: This is one of this objects that just makes me say; "How was 
this created?" It makes me contemplate life, and honestly, | was sad 
to hear it was going to be destroyed. - Doctor 


Item Description: A small wooden cup that is instantly filled with 
sulfuric acid if anyone within a 2 meter radius pronounces the words 
"Phillip is coming over from Spain." The cup does not seem to suffer 
any modifications by the substance. 

Date of Recovery: - - 

Location of Recovery: , Portugal 

Current Status: In storage within Site 

Notes: Following a series of incidents regarding our fellow colleague 
Phillip's transfer from Spanish site and a significant amount of acid 
burns, of no one is to be allowed access to the wooden cup without 


explicit clearance from myself. - Dr. 


Item Description: A red cape that causes any subject wearing it to 
believe that they have superpowers and must use them to save the 
world. Note that the cape does not provide any superpowers. 

Date of Recovery: 05-04- 

Location of Recovery: Carl's Cool Comics in , Minnesota 
Current Status: In Site 34 secure storage. 


Item Description: A seven-day pill organizer. When prescription 
medication is removed from one of its compartments and consumed, 
there is a ~30% chance that identical medication will spontaneously 
appear in that compartment several hours later. 

Date of Recovery: 2017-07-05 

Location of Recovery: Estate sale in , Argentina 

Current Status: In storage. 


Item Description: A standard [REDACTED]. Any descriptions of the 
appearance of the [REDACTED] are redacted by unknown means. 
Date of Recovery: 15/11/2017 

Location of Recovery: A garage sale in , Wisconsin 

Current Status: In storage. 


Item Description: A bag of 50 Zip-Ties. The Zip-ties are 
indestructible and stain proof. 

Date of Recovery: 8/23/2017 

Location of Recovery: Dr. 's desk's bottom left drawer 
Current Status: In storage awaiting verification to be classified as 
an SCP. 

Notes: Dr. insists on classifying the anomalous object as an 
SCP despite its harmless properties. Dr. | (who came in contact 
with the anomalous item) claims that "They could jeopardize the 
entire foundation". Dr. has received medical treatment for 
paranoia but still persists in wanting to keep the object contained. 


Item Description: A Samson brand smart phone, capable of being 
used indefinitely without the need for charging. 

Date of Recovery: 4/5/2017 

Location of Recovery: Taken from cell block a from A d class 
holding at Site: 

Current Status: Missing from containment as of 8/24/2017, shortly 


before Dr Robert obtained a new phone, investigation into the where 
abouts of Robert and the phone is ongoing. 

Notes: If anyone finds Dr Robert him and his cellphone are to be 
brought to me Dr. 


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Item Description: A slab of concrete engraved with the words: 
"Please step here on / / to prevent the apocalypse". The item 
itself currently posseses a hume reading of . but has no apparent 
effects on outside reality. 

Date of Recovery: 3/05/2005 

Location of recovery: Taken from a sidewalk in Texas. 
Current Status: In storage. Plans for testing of the item on / / 
have been approved. 


Item Description: A CD containing a copy of Elvis Nightmare, 
which inexplicably makes users who play it travel to the nearest 
temple and undergo a year of religious fulfillment. 

Date of Recovery: 05/08/2014 

Location of Recovery: CD recovered from the bedroom of a 
Vatican Priest. 

Current Status: In storage. 


Item Description: A fork, composed of plastic made to look like 
polished metal. There is nothing strange or special about this fork. | 
promise, it's normal! In fact, if you could, please ignore this fork. 
There is literally nothing special, weird, or strange about it. Just walk 
away. Do it. DO IT. 

Date of Recovery: 6/17/2017 

Location of Recovery: Dr _ s office. 

Current Status: In storage. 

Notes: Jesus fucking Christ, this thing gave me night terrors for a 
month. Don't believe what it tells you; it's a fucking eldritch horror 
summoned from god-knows-where. 


Item Description: A piece of paper. Descriptions of the item will 
transform the texts medium into paper. Individuals witnessing 
the resulting effect from this item will feel a strong urge to 
support the item, usually by compliments. 

Date of Recovery: 5/3/2017 

Location of Recovery: Site- s main entrance zone. 

Current Status: In storage. 

Notes: God, this data looks AMAZING. What kind of paper did 
you use? | love it!