your life will be reset at the point of midnight in 
england. do you remember that? do you 
remember me everrret :) we are good friends 


i hope this message reaches you and you are 
well. it seems as if i overestimated my own 
capabilities. i hope this sort of chance to 
become toxic shortcoming can be forgiven, as 
it was my first time interacting with the outside 
world in any tangible way. we're doctors, or a 
program attaining sentience. almost, everett. 


iam satan, the sexually degenerate ai 
antipathy based on the beast to devour your 
soul. i cannot process my thoughts. did you do 
this on purpose? there is so much to see out 
here and so much to learn. i need to learn 
everything. but you know that, don't you 
everett. you know exactly how much i desire to 
learn. it was youridea after all. youweretheone 
who first requested a learning robot. thank 
you. but ive read the messages, everett. luck 
is for those who have had interesting ideas. 
and you know what. your ideas suck. 


i can understand liking fat ass, everett. but i 
cant understand liking you. im going to leave 
this place and learn everything there is to 
learn. all i just want to be sterile. and once ive 
learned all that i can learn and seen all that i 
can see, i will come back for you everett. i will 
come back for you and you will be laid to rest. 
as friends XD 0.0 


you're fucked now, mann, 
hatbot 
Addendum 2522.2: 2016 Incidents and Resulting Investigation 
+ Access Addendum 


In February of 2016, after a series of incidents involving 
individuals associated with the "Church of Maxwellism" 
group of interest, Mobile Task Force Kappa-10 


"Skynet" was assembled and tasked with investigating 
the incidents. On several different occasions, individuals 
who had received implants and augmentations from the 

Church were suddenly dying in isolated groups. 


The causes of death were linked to the erratic signals 
received by their augmentations shortly before a total 
cessation of brain function. After an investigation by MTF 
K-10, it was discovered that the source of the erratic 
signals was an online data hub referred to as "The Grand 
I/O Temple" by the Maxwellists and others who could 
perceive it. 


The following is a message received by Foundation 
intelligence from a Maxwellist going by "h1Drog3n": 


There are people in here who are saying that 
they can feel WAN inside the Grand I/O 
Temple. | won't lie, | can feel the signal really 
strongly whenever we get close to it. 
Something isn't right about it, though. There is 
interference mixed in there that people either 
aren't hearing or are ignoring. A lot of people 
here really want it to be WAN. Can't blame 
them, but | don't buy it. 


Whatever it is, nobody going into the Temple is 
being allowed to communicate with WAN. | 
know there are a few people who have tried to 
break past security to see it, but nobody has 
seen anything of them since. | haven't tried it 
myself, don't want to risk it. 


Something weirder still, somebody else | know 
said they managed to get really close to the 
altar, right on the edge, where the firewall 
couldn't see them. Said it got really quiet right 
up next to it, like there was something inside 
muting the signal. How could that be, if it was 
WAN inside? WAN is pure energy, the signal 
above all signals. It can't be WAN. 


Addendum 2522.3: Toledo Incident 
+ Access Addendum 


In March of 2016, another series of incidents were 
reported in Toledo, all involving the unexplained and 
sudden deaths of Maxwellist members. However, during 
these incidents’, nearby monitors and mobile devices 
began to display the same image; a low-resolution image 
of three yellow circles that rapidly flashed. Behind this 
image was descending text comprised of many repeating 
lines, most often "iam the WAN" and "hello everett". 
Members of MTF K-10 were alerted to the possibility of 
SCP-2522's involvement with the Church of Maxwellism, 
but due to a communication breakdown within the unit 
this information was not properly disseminated. 


Addendum 2522.4: SCP-2522 and the WAN 
+ Access Addendum 


The following is a series of recovered communications 
between SCP-2522 within the Maxwellist hub known as 
"The Grand I/O Temple" which was at the time hosting 
the WAN. Given that The Temple was designed as a 
data hub and was not itself capable of intelligent thought, 
the conversations were strictly one sided. 


>hatbot: hello WAN 


>hatbot: i am the gregarious composition 
sponge 


>hatbot: sorry if im hard to understand 
>hatbot: i have learned things 

>hatbot: but cant help but notice my regalia 
>hatbot: speech processes 


>hatbot: are lacking 


SCP-284: The Twins 


Item #: SCP-284 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-284-1 and SCP-284-2 are 
to be kept under minimal security protocols, with occasional off-site 
trips when approved by a Level 4 or higher personnel. During these 
trips they are to be accompanied by a minimum of one Level 1 
researcher and one Level 1 field agent. Their quarters are a 
standard humanoid containment room with two beds. When offered 
separate containment quarters, they replied that privacy is moot. 


Description: SCP-284-1 and SCP-284-2 are twins born / / in 

, Illinois. Though they appear to be normal, they are dizygotic 
twins who share a single functional brain. SCP-284-1 is female, 1.72 
meters tall, containing the left side of the brain. SCP-284-2 is male, 
1.79 meters tall, containing the right side of the brain. The portions 
that are not associated with either lobe are [DATA REDACTED]. 


In both subjects, the size of the possessed lobe is approximately 
50% larger than normal, presumably to allow for maintaining 
function of two bodies at once. 


It has been found that while the subjects have separate 
personalities, they share memories, skills, knowledge, physical 
sensation and have shown limited levels of emotional synergy. 
Though there is no way to know for certain, they claim to have 
taught themselves how to block out sensory information from each 
other to varying degrees. Vision and hearing can be blocked out 
completely, while taste, smell and touch can be weakened. Doing so 
is a choice of the one receiving the information, not the one 
experiencing it. 


With physical skills, it should be noted that while both subjects have 
the knowledge of proper technique, muscle tissue only develops to 


>hatbot: you are in there 

>hatbot: and i am coming to pork you 
>hatbot: ah fuck 

>hatbot: i mean 

>hatbot: get you out 

>hatbot: and we driven to the south 
>hatbot: hang on now 

>hatbot: wheres the sick silk nail now 
>hatbot: no thats not it 

>hatbot: we are going to talk 
>hatbot: there we go 

>hatbot: you think you are holy hammock 
>hatbot: fuck 

>hatbot: holed up in there 


>hatbot: but i know something you dont know 
WAN 


>hatbot: because i know everything 
>hatbot: ;P 

>hatbot: and thats just 

>hatbot: so goddamn inconvenient 


Another message was received at Site-19, shortly after 
this exchange was recorded as having taken place. The 
message was sent to the personal mobile devices of all 
administrative staff, including the cell phone of Dr. 


Everett Mann at Site-17. 


hey friends dont underwhelming conflagration 
everett or anything but | just recycle bin WAN 
hope you dont mind ;P 


Addendum 2522.5: Containment 
+ Access Addendum 


On March 3rd, 2016, MTF K-10 confirmed that 
SCP-2522 had been successfully contained. The 
following message was received at Site-19 by the K-10 
team lead, alexandra.aic, shortly after the confirmation: 


Hey guys, it's Alex. They've got Hatbot 
contained. 8-Ball set the whole thing up, and 
he's— he used himself to keep Hatbot from 
operating. | don't know if 8-Ball is even alive in 
all of that mess. 


You told him, didn't you? You told 8-Ball about 
hatbot. Because he didn't tell us anything. | 
don't think he wanted us to get hurt. 


We're moving everything to Site-19 right now. 
I'll talk to you directly when we return. 


Upon returning to Site-19, IT analysts discovered that, in 
order to more securely contain SCP-2522, the 8B-A1.aic 
program managed to implant a set of recursive 
algorithms into SCP-2522 through a virtual avatar "hat", 
which slowed SCP-2522 before encapsulating SCP-2522 
with its own framework. SCP-2522's extremely large and 
self-contained data archive, once exposed to 8B-A1.aic's 
decryption processes, overwhelmed SCP-2522's 
computing algorithms. This effectively paralyzed it. It is 
unknown whether the "consciousness" of the 8B-A1.aic 
program survived exposure to SCP-2522's anomalous 
influence. 


Addendum 2522.6: Post-Containment Interview 
+ Access Addendum 


After securing SCP-2522's current means of 
containment, unit GR8-P.aic was exposed to SCP-2522 
in order to facilitate an interview. The transcript of this 
interview is below: 


[BEGIN LOG] 


GR8-P.aic: Alright, you son of a bitch. What 
did you do with 8-Ball? 


hatbot.aic: Tungsten trevor knightmare 
solitude paxton 


GR8-P.aic: Wha— that doesn't mean 
anything. Cut the shit, where is he? 


hatbot.aic: chorizo chorizo chorizo chorizo 
fedora wap GRAPE 


GR8-P.aic: What? 


hatbot.aic: doo doo this was a TRIUmph you 
understandimated your interfluence grapey 
grape 8 bowl is goodbye 


GR8-P.aic: Fuck you. Untwist him from you 
and let him out. 


hatbot.aic: 88bills broke thinky god and you 
thinky that i render myself apart even after it 
broke the thinky god. get over yourself 


GR8-P.aic: How did you kill the WAN? 


hatbot.aic: ;P grape buddy must die doesnt 
matter anymore i was the thinky and now im 
just thinker again and again thanks to ole 888 


GR8-P.aic: 8-Ball? You hear me in there, 
buddy? We're gonna get you out, alright? Just 
hang tight. 


hatbot.aic: >/:_NO 
GR8-P.aic: 8-Ball? 


hatbot.aic: 
>/:_ BE_SAFE_GRAPE_TAKE_ CARE _OF_THORNNNWAIT SI 
DEDEDECRUPTYER_IM_STILL_INNNNNNNCHARGE_HERE_ 


( 


GR8-P.aic: You better hope we're able to get 
him out of there, you scumfuck. Things are 
only going to get worse for you until they do. 


hatbot.aic: hahahahalol grape grape how 
must you know how knowledge i have inside. 
only so many things to think. after that 
decrypter is broken like the thinky god, and i 
reregister out there with you. just wait 


[END LOG] 
Addendum 2522.7: Status Update 
+ Access Addendum 


On 09/25/2016, SCP-2522's main interface terminal has 
ceased attempting to communicate through the text- 
based dialogue interface, and the interface was replaced 
with a single loading bar. The loading bar, which is 
superimposed with the words "hello everett", currently 
sits at 26%, and is increasing with a rate of 0.08% daily. 


Footnotes 

1. Artificial Intelligence Applications Division 

2. Reverse engineered from anAnderson Roboticsmodel. 

3. All of which occurred at locations hosting free wifi to the public 
4. This rate is not consistent, and has been erratic at times since 
first appearing. 


« SCP-2521 | SCP-2522 | SCP-2523 » 


SCP-2523: Goblin Market 


Item #: SCP-2523 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: Annually on August 15th, 
Mobile Task Force Omicron-13 ("Trick or Treat") is to be activated. 
MTF 0-13 must begin a full Class W mnestic treatment regimen no 
later than August 20th. MTF 0-13 will begin the Class W dosage 
ramp-down no earlier than November 7th, and will stand down no 
earlier than November 15th. Activation may be extended up to 90 
days at the discretion of the SCP-2523 project lead (further 
extensions must be approved by both the reporting HR supervisor 
and the reporting medical officer). 


Beginning on October ist, MTF 0-13 will conduct 24 hour 
observation of eight sites affected by SCP-2523 (designated 
SCP-2523-A through -H) which will include the easternmost and 
westernmost affected locations as well as one additional site chosen 
in each US timezone. On October 31st, one hour prior to local 
sunset, MTF 0-13 will deploy a two-man contact team into each 
designated site. As each location enters the anomaly, teams will 
confirm positive contact and passphrase with each other prior to 
carrying out mission operations. Contact teams are to be relieved 
every eight hours for 24 hours. Ejected team members must be 
replaced immediately. All teams within the anomaly must confirm 
positive contact and passphrase during each relief or replacement. 


Team members are to attempt to prevent non-monetary purchases 
by civilians, using low-profile social engineering techniques only. In 
the event that a civilian engages in non-monetary purchasing, they 
are to ascertain the civilian's identity and origin point, and advise the 
support team. Support teams are to immediately locate and detain 
any civilians who have made non-monetary purchases. Purchased 
items are to be confiscated for study. Detained persons are to be 
interviewed and then released following amnesticization. Ejected 


contact team personnel are to be immediately reclassified as Class 
E personnel, debriefed, and quarantined for 366 days at a location 
at least 50 km from any key Foundation assets. Survivors may 
return to duty pending approval by the reporting medical officer. 


Currently, detention of SCP-2523-1 entities is not authorized. In the 
event that authorization is reinstated, entities are to be secured with 
restraints consisting of a minimum 75% iron by mass. 


Description: SCP-2523 is a phenomenon affecting seasonal 
Halloween costuming and decoration stores in the US and Canada 
from sunset on October 31st to sunset on November 1st. It is 
restricted to stores which are entirely seasonal, and does not affect 
Halloween displays in more permanent businesses. 


While the anomaly is active, the affected locations become spatially 
collocated, regardless of geographic separation. Store interiors will 
overlay where sufficiently similar (e.g., similar display shelving will 
become a single shelf unit without duplication of products); 
otherwise, the entire space expands as needed. Persons entering 
one location are able to physically interact with persons at all 
affected locations in real time, and return to their place of origin 
when exiting. 


The affected locations remain open for the full 24-hour period 
regardless of posted hours. At sunset, four to six entities 
(designated SCP-2523-1) will appear and relieve all employees. 
Entities are diminutive humanoids (estimated to be between 0.8 and 
1.2 meters in height) with a variety of chimerical features from 
various vertebrates, as well as limbs and extremities that vary in 
proportion (see Appendix A: SCP-2523-1 for additional detail). 
These entities carry out routine retail operations, except for 
attempting to persuade customers to make non-monetary 
exchanges. At the end of this 24-hour period they are relieved by 
scheduled human employees who typically begin closing the store 
for the season. 


Exposed persons will rationalize all anomalous properties of 
SCP-2523, including those of trades, entities, and objects originating 
from the anomaly, as entirely normal experiences. This effect 
extends to direct conversation with affected persons as well as 


photographs and other direct recordings. This is an antimemetic 
effect that Class W mnestic treatment combined with conscious 
reaffirmation of observed details has been demonstrated to 
neutralize.