Following the event on 15/06/2016, the decision was made to 
contact Wilson's Wildlife Solutions directly, rather than through a 
liaison (as is protocol). Timothy Wilson (founder and leader) reacted 
with surprise after being informed about the anomaly, and reported 
that no such entity existed on their records. When questioned about 
Ms. Kimberly Madison, Wilson responded that there was no such 
person on their payroll; a woman by that name had approached him 
for a position some years previously, but had been killed in a car 
accident shortly afterwards. 


Containment has since reverted to Foundation control, and the 
construction of Chamber 3676-Beta is ongoing. The location and 
origin of Pol-7643 ("Kimberly Madison Alternate") and the WWS 
research team responsible for initial categorisation are currently 
unknown. 


Footnotes 

1. A task force specialising in detaining and containing abnormally 
large fauna and pseudo-fauna. 

2. A parallel universe that differs from baseline reality in one minor 
aspect, usually a different outcome to a specific event. 


SCP-3679: Make a Geas, Foundation 


Item #: SCP-3679 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: The kit containing SCP-3679 is 
to be stored in a standard object containment locker. Tests utilizing 
SCP-3679 must be carried out or approved by a level 3 researcher 
assigned to SCP-3679. 


Investigation into the identity and location of Pol-3679 is currently 
underway. The online storefront maintained by Pol-3679 is to be 
monitored and any newly identified customers are to be located and 
amnesticized after their purchases are confiscated. 


Description: SCP-3679 is an unbranded ballpoint pen purchased 
online as a part of a writing kit. Chemical analysis shows the 
contents of SCP-3679 to be natural non-anomalous red ink. Despite 
this, tests have indicated that any writing done with SCP-3679 
results in a blend of ink and the writer's own blood being used; no 
test subjects have displayed any discomfort or injury that would 
otherwise explain this, and prolonged use of SCP-3679 has failed to 
result in any noticeable differences in blood pressure or other such 
factors. 


Statements written with SCP-3679 are contractually binding: 
violating a claim or promise written with SCP-3679 invariably results 
in the writer's injury or death occurring within the following 24 hours. 
Causes of death have included non-anomalous factors (e.g. heart 
failure or accidental death) as well as anomalous factors (e.g. 
spontaneous human combustion or unprovoked decapitation). 
Those bound by a contract written with SCP-3679 have an innate 
understanding of the penalties for violating said contract, and as 
such, show a notable unwillingness to violate their terms. 


SCP-3679 was purchased from seller "shadow-queen", designated 


Catholic tradition. 


Pol-3679, through the popular online marketplace Etsy.com after a 
routine scan indicated potential anomalous activity based on the 
reviews left on Pol-3679's store. SCP-3679 was originally a part of a 
kit marketed as a "Do-it-Yourself Geas! Kit", which contained 
SCP-3679, a pad of fifty non-anomalous sheets of paper, and a note 
from the seller. 


Document-3679 
Do-it-Yourself Geas Kit 


Tired of broken promises? Rival hero stealing 
all your thunder? 
Create your own geas today! 


Forbid them from cutting their hair, prohibit 
them from refusing a gift! 

Make them do anything you can think of with 
this simple kit! 

All you have to do is get them to sign! 


WARNING: Seller is not responsible for any 
injury or death caused as a result of this kit. 


Initial attempts at making contact with Pol-3679 were rejected. After 
leaving a one-star review of the purchased kit, Pol-3679 initiated 
correspondence with Senior Researcher Maxwell, head researcher 
assigned to SCP-3679. 


Chat Log 3679 


shadow-queen: hey asshole 
shadow-queen: wif is with the one star rating 
rjmaxwell: Hello. I'm not sure what you're 
referring to. 

shadow-queen: look 

shadow-queen: dont play dumb 
shadow-queen: this is because iwas ignoring 
you right 

rjmaxwell: Are you referring to the review that 
was left on your product? 


shadow-queen: uhhhh i literally just said that 
shadow-queen: look buddy 

shadow-queen: im just trying to make a living 
here 

rjmaxwell: | see. 

shadow-queen: then take down the review wif 
rjmaxwell: That could be arranged, if you're 
willing to answer a few questions for me. 
shadow-queen: jesus christ this is blackmail 
shadow-queen: you know that right 
rjmaxwell: Just a few questions. 
shadow-queen: fine just ask the damn 
questions 

rjmaxwell: Are you aware of the anomalous 
properties in the pen you shipped us? 
shadow-queen: uhh 

shadow-queen: thats kind of the point? 
shadow-queen: how useless would a geas 
pen be if it didn't form a geas Imao 
shadow-queen: look i run an honest business 
shadow-queen: what you see is what you get 
shadow-queen: and its bastards like you that 
ruin people like me when you leave jank 
reviews 

rjmaxwell: I'll remove it after we conclude this 
interview. 

rjmaxwell: Follow-up question. Where did you 
obtain the anomalous pen? 

shadow-queen: i made it 

shadow-queen: you do know how this 
website works right 

rjmaxwell: You made the anomalous pen? 
Would you care to share how you did that? 
shadow-queen: trade secret 

shadow-queen: even if i told you you 
probably couldnt reproduce it 
shadow-queen: ive been doing this for a while 
rjmaxwell: And you've sold a lot of pens? 
shadow-queen: enough 

shadow-queen: its not just pens 


shadow-queen: weve got more stuff on the 
way 

shadow-queen: check out the rest of my shop 
shadow-queen: or actually dont since youll 
probably leave shitty reviews 

rjmaxwell: Would you be willing to provide us 
a list of your customers? 

shadow-queen: no. im pretty sure thats illegal 
anyway 

shadow-queen: ive got work to do so can we 
wrap this up 

shadow-queen: im sure youve got other skips 
to deal with anyway 

rjmaxwell: What do you mean by "skip"? 
shadow-queen: lol 

shadow-queen: i think were done here 
shadow-queen: dont bother contacting me 
again 

shadow-queen: unless you want to give me 
back my spear 

shadow-queen: and take down that shitty 
review 

shadow-queen: or else 


Pol-3679 ended communication after this, leading Foundation 
personnel to attempt to track them by IP. After locating an IP 
address, agents were dispatched with orders to capture Pol-3679 if 
possible. When agents arrived at the location derived from the 
traced IP address2, they found only a small copse of trees showing 
no signs of human habitation. Field agents have been assigned to 
observe this location until further notice. 


Any customers that had left reviews on SCP-3679 have been 
located and amnesticized, with duplicate kits being incinerated. 


Footnotes 

1.geas(/geSH/)noun:(in Irish folklore) an obligation or prohibition 
magically imposed on a person. 

2. Located on the Isle of Skye in Northern Scotland. 


SCP-3680: The White Guys 


An instance of SCP-3680 at the time of its retrieval. 


Item #: SCP-3680 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: 

The hallway segments of High School are to be patrolled by 
several agents disguised as janitorial staff. These agents are to be 
issued: 


* One janitorial uniform consistent with the uniforms given to 

custodians of the school, consisting of: one pair of navy blue 

pants, one navy blue jacket with the lettering: “ High 

School” on the back, one brown or black belt, and one white 

or gray dress shirt. 

One silent tranquilizer gun, concealed in the right inside jacket 

pocket. 

Four tranquilizer darts, carrying a heavy sedative that can 

incapacitate a 120 pound human male for one full hour post- 

injection. These darts are to be concealed in the left inside 

jacket pocket. 

Two syringes filled with 1.75 mL of tranquilizer which are to be 

intravenously injected in case of containment breach (see 

Special Containment Procedures: paragraph three). These 

are also to be concealed in the left inside jacket pocket. 

¢ One wristwatch fitted with a tracking chip and two-way radio 
which can be used to contact Sector 76-R. 


Several micro-cameras have been set up around High School 
which broadcast a feed to Sector 76-R. This feed must be watched 
by no less than two persons at once to ensure no breaches of 
containment. Between certain hours of each weekday (Mon. through 
Fri.), no less than eight persons must be watching the feed. These 
times are: 


* Between the hours of 08:45 and 09:30 
¢ Between the hours of 12:30 and 13:00 
* Between the hours of 15:30 and 16:15 


If a new instance of SCP-3680 is sighted, agents will be dispatched 
to safely dispose of the instance. In that time, students and faculty 
are to be rerouted away from the instance of SCP-3680 by any 
agents not directly involved in the disposal of the item. If any 
persons come into physical contact with an instance of SCP-3680, 
they are to be immediately tranquilized (either at a distance using a 
tranquilizer gun or through the use of a syringe) as well as any 
witnesses. They are to be detained and quickly sent to Sector 76-R, 
which is located two miles South of , the town that High 
School resides in. They are then to be sealed in a small room with 
one closed access point in Sector 76-R until ample time has allowed 
the effects of SCP-3680 to dissipate. They are then issued Class-B 
amnestics and allowed to return home. 


Upon retrieval of a new instance of SCP-3680, it is to be brought 
into a safe room located inside of High School, where it is kept 
in an airtight storage cell. From there, the instance is transported to 
Site 76, where it is kept in a bulk storage vault. 


Description: 
SCP-3680 are sheets of 18” x 24” poster paper that randomly 
materialize in the hallway segments of High School between 


specific hours of each weekday (Mon. through Fri.). Instances of 
SCP-3680 have, so far, only materialized in three specific time 
frames, and never if more than one person is able to view the 
materialization. These times are always when students of the school 
are having or have just gotten out of class, and are believed to have 
been chosen to increase exposure to instances of SCP-3680. Only 
one instance will appear per day, and instances do not necessarily 
materialize each day; in fact, time between appearances of 
SCP-3680 has been measured at up to seven days. 


Instances of SCP-3680 always have several things in common, with 
very few exceptions: 


« They will have words and/or drawings on them, which appear 
to be handwritten in multicolored washable marker. 


« The words will have a common theme: almost always the 
theme will be “bullying”; specifically, it will give reasonings to 
why “bullying” is good (although many are incoherent and 
meaningless). 

* Crude drawings are shown of humanoid figures, always with 
shapes in the middle of their heads which appear to be 
brains!. 


Upon contact with the bare skin of any human, the anomalous effect 
of SCP-3680 begins. After thirty-two minutes and twenty-four 
seconds, any person who has come in contact with an instance of 
SCP-3680 will experience hallucinations of tall, slender humanoid 
figures. These entities (hereby designated SCP-3680-2) have been 
described by victims of SCP-3680 as white with a black outline 
surrounding their body, having small, misshapen eyes, and with 
large shapes inside their head that appear to be brains. These 
“brains” will have multicolored numbers inside of them that appear to 
be binary code. This description appears to directly correlate to the 
images that appear on the first instance of SCP-3680 created, which 
has been designated SCP-3680-1 throughout this document. 


Instances of SCP-3680-2 will continue to be hallucinated by victims 
of SCP-3680 for forty-six minutes and fifty-two seconds, at which 
point they will simply disappear. No brain damage has been found in 
victims of SCP-3680’s anomalous effects, but minor Post-Traumatic 
Stress Disorder has been observed. The symptomatic panic attacks 
common between persons suffering from PTSD are in this case 
usually caused by pieces of media that portray tall and thin 
characters, especially as inherently malevolent beings. Class-A and 
-B amnestic has been found to cure any cases of this. 


The first instance of SCP-3680 was placed in the East hallway 
segment of High School on 2/ /201 , where it was brought to 
the Foundation’s attention after numerous reports of widespread 
paranoia forced the school to close for the rest of its school day. 
SCP-3680-1 was diagnosed as the problem and retrieved the next 
morning. Class-A amnestic was spread over the city of , and its 
surrounding fields and towns. 


SCP-3680-1 at the time of its retrieval. 


SCP-3680-1 had first thought to be a work by Gol #2979 ‘Are We 
Cool Yet?’, but after extensive search through the student 
databases, personnel found that one student, Alexander Fillmore 
(hereby referred to as Pol #3674), was a known member of Gol 
#5869 ‘Gamers Against Weed’. Upon attempts to retrieve Pol #3674 
for interrogation, it was found that he had been missing for just over 
fourteen hours. Following are several excerpts from the Gamers 
Against Weed chat log. It is important to note that Pol #3674 goes 
by the screen name ‘GhettoPotato’. 


+ Show Excerpt / Gol Chat Log 
~ GhettoPotato has joined the channel. 
gaycopmp4: hey potato 
Kektagon: hey potes 


lesbian_gengar: so we got in gthe back of the 
van and there’s three dudes already there, 
just, like, sitting there 


lesbian_gengar: oh hey ptato 
GhettoPotato: yo 


GhettoPotato: guys | finally fucking got off my 
ass and made something 


lesbian_gengar: and we didn’t expect anyone 
to be there so it was super weird, y'know? 


GhettoPotato: oh sorry | didn’t know you were 
telling a story 


lesbian_gengar: no | mean 
lesbian_gengar: its fine 


lesbian_gengar: what did uyou make 


GhettoPotato: well you know how in my 
school the Juniors are all douchebags 


Kektagon: yeah 
gaycopmp4: no but go on 


GhettoPotato: well | have a class w/ them first 
block tomorrow 


GhettoPotato: so I’m putting up a poster next 
to thier lockers that i made thatll make them 
piss themselves 


gaycopmp4: i mean 
gaycopmp4: no points for creativity 
gaycopmp4: but | guess itll embarrass them 


GhettoPotato: no not like they'll literally piss 
themselves 


GhettoPotato: but that’s way better 
GhettoPotato: fuck 

GhettoPotato: i shouldve thought of that 
gaycopmp4: what does it do them? 


GhettoPotato: like theyll be so scared that 
they'll figuratively piss themselves. 


Kektagon: oh 


Kektagon: that’s much more original i 
suppose 


lesbian_gengar: so, like, how does it scare 
them? 


GhettoPotato: if a person touches the poster 


then they get these scary halluciantions 


GhettoPotato: and they are of the guys that | 
drew on the poster 


GhettoPotato: and the guys will just kind of 
walk around the room and be cool enough but 
its less about jumpscares and more about just 
unnerving them so they get super creeped out 
and embarrass themselves in front of half the 
class 


lesbian_gengar: how long do the 
hallucinations last? like five or seven minutes? 


GhettoPotato: 45 minutes 


gaycopmp4: christ don’t you think that’s 
excessive 


GhettoPotato: i mean 
GhettoPotato: maybe? 


GhettoPotato: i guess it’s too late now i’m not 
changing it, plus all my friends are coming in 
tomorrow to the class | have with the juniors 
for a presentation theyre doing so i want them 
to see it 


lesbian_gengar: can we see pics of the 
poster? 


Kektagon: yeah true | wanna see that shit 
gaycopmp4: same tbh 


GhettoPotato: here it is: https: // 
imgur.com/gallery/