A: Human fingertip: Identified as belonging to the right ring finger 
of anomalous individual. The stump is sealed/healed over. Currently 
alive and responsive to touch and temperature. 


B: Video footage: Copy of footage of first sighting of suspect, 
including use of irregular abilities. 
Current Status: At large, location unknown. 


Crimes: Arson, Espionage, Industrial Sabotage, Manslaughter, 
Murder in the First Degree 


Sentencing: Has not yet been apprehended for sentencing. 
History of UIU Action: 


03/07/1998: UIU surveillance of building believed to be a research 
facility for Prometheus Labs in Flagstaff, Arizona captures footage of 
suspect dropping a small package near a rear entrance to the 
building. 37 minutes later, the package is opened from the inside 


and a human hand crawls into the door when an employee exits. An 
eye is attached to the top of the hand by tape. Neither the suspect 
nor the hand/eye appear again during surveillance. 


03/09/1998: Large fire erupts in the building under surveillance, later 
determined to be due to leaking tanks of liquid propellant. 


01/17/2000: Minor conspiracy theory newsletter "Inside Knowledge" 
publishes article claiming that the CIA is using "secret Navaho 
shaman wisdom" to create spies capable of dismembering then 
reassembling themselves. Special Agent Mcintyre, who had been on 
the prior surveillance team, brought this to the UIU Department 
head, who issued instructions for any agents who came into contact 
with the suspect were to immediately apprehend him. 


09/09/2001: Suspect was spotted outside UIU branch office in 
Dallas, TX. He was successfully apprehended by agents despite 
suspect's usage of his irregular abilities. Persons later identified as 
members of the organization known as "The Foundation" broke into 
the detention facility overnight and liberated the suspect. Only 
evidence remaining is fingertip, later found behind a toilet in the 
men's restroom. 


UIU File: 2016-004 


Electronic copy below as per Federal Records Act 


UIU File 2016-004: Codename “Mr. Gaffias" 


Summary: Suspect is able to cause others to experience visual 


hallucinations. 


Name: Unknown, alias “Steven Scorsese” and “Mr. Get Anything 


For Free In Any Shop" 


Irregularity Cross-reference: American, Biology, Human, 


Investigated, Visual 


Male 62in| 151 Ibs Americ Black Blue 
mediui Indiar 


Sex Heigh Weigh Race Hair Eyes Identifying 


Tattoo 
across 
back of 
suspect's 
neck 
reading 
‘Mr. Get 
Anything 
For Free 
In Any 
Shop, by 
Gamers 
Against 
Weed’. 


Capabilities: Suspect is an American Indian male in his mid- 


twenties, capable of causing others to experience visual 


hallucinations resembling various types of pop-up ads. These 
hallucinations appear when reading any digital, handwritten, or other 
types of text the suspect has previously affected with his abilities. 
Suspect 'plants' hallucinogenic properties into text by first reading 
the information, and then pointing at whichever section it wishes to 
make into a ‘trigger’ for one or multiple hallucinations. Hallucinations 
appearing on physical documents may be dismissed by touching the 
hallucinations ‘close button’. Hallucinations appearing in a digital 
format may be closed using expected means such as a mouse 
cursor. Clicking on digitally formatted pop-ups will predominantly link 
the user to various spam-related webpages; however, Scorsese has 
proven himself able to create pop-ups which directly link to websites 
of his choosing. 


Purpose/Motive: Suspect utilizes his anomalous abilities to create 
ads for various ‘fake products’ to advertise a satirical online retailer 
site. Websites design and format are heavily influenced by sites 
such as 'Amazon' and 'eBay' but does not actually sell any of the 
products advertised. The site is entirely for entertainment purposes 
and contains various fake products it claims to sell of a satirical and 
humorous nature. The site has gained a significant increase in views 
and income since the implementation of Scorsese's anomalous 
capabilities. 


Modus Operandi: Suspect resides in a two-story house with 
several other males, all roughly within the same age category of 
himself. Residents are believed to be the website's original creators. 
Scorsese is often seen with residents during social outings. Suspect 
accesses websites it chooses to affect using a standard laptop. 


Behavior: Suspect has applicable knowledge regarding the 
workings of retail sites. Scorsese is erudite in the use and 
application of his abilities. Actively enjoys and is efficient at his work, 
usually spending multiple hours a day using his abilities to affect 
numerous websites. Suspect occasionally targets websites which 
celebrate flagrant and heinous content in a sincere manner, creating 
a multitude of pop up ads designed to mock the site users. 


Investigations have shown suspect to be rather meek, often showing 
signs of social awkwardness when interacting with strangers and 
occasionally appears outright withdrawn, never actively leaving his 


base of operations unless with someone else, and will appear rather 
anxious when doing so. 


The nature of pop-ups created by Scorsese present him as having a 
rather satirical sense of humour, and feelings of strong disgust 
towards various forms of hate crime, as websites celebrating such 
themes have been his most frequent target. 


On close terms with his house occupants, all of which claim to 
consider him a friend and is much happier and self-confident around 
them, adopting a somewhat 'snarky' attitude and appears more 
confident interacting with others when around them. 


A: Medion Akoya laptop: Computer used by Scorsese to access 
internet sites. History of sites accessed appears to have been 
deleted before taken into custody. 


B: Anomalous Objects: A number of household items affected by 
Scorsese's anomalous abilities. Items include several empty soft 
drink bottles which display pop-ups, rating Scorsese's personal 
enjoyment of the drink, several books, all of which display pop-up 
ads when read, containing information spoiling major plot points 
within the books, 


C: Photo of Scorsese and several friends (including 
roommates): 


Current Status: At large. Failed attempted Capture by agents. 
Current whereabouts unknown. Last sighted in Illinois on 09/05/16. 


Sentencing: Indefinite Detention. 
History of UIU Action: 


27/04/2016: During a routine web search for possible information of 
irregularities or anomalies, UIU web crawlers located a web ad 
containing the phrase ‘Dr. Wondertainment’, an organization 
suspected by the UIU for the creation and distribution of anomalous 
items, children's toys and anomalous humans under the alias of 
‘Little Misters’. UIU agents were able to track the location of the 


computer used to access the ad. 


09/05/2016: Capture attempt of the suspect was initiated. UIU 
agents were sent to the suspect's location and attempted to 
apprehend them in a non-lethal manner. The suspect was able to 
evade capture using several hallucinations planted within several 
printed documents to confuse and distract agents. Hallucinations 
appeared as spasmodic imagery containing various coloring and 
patterns designed to cause hallucinogenic effects and major 
disturbance to agents visual stimuli. Houses tenants were brought in 
for inquiry but refused to answer any questions posed, repeatedly 
claiming to have no knowledge of Scorsese's abilities. Investigations 
failed to gather any evidence disproving the tenant's claims. Further 
investigation into the organization ‘Dr. Wondertainment’ is to be 
conducted. 


11/07/2016: Appearances of pop-up ads similar to that ofbeen 
spottedfiles. It is believed that Scorsese is responsible gained 
access to a limited number of files throughbases. These 
hallucinations appear to minor in 


Holy Heck! You've just found yourself your very own Mr. 
Get Anything For Free In Any Shop by Gamers 
Against Weed! CLICK HERE AND GET ANOTHER ONE 
FOR FREE! Who is Dr. Wondertainment? 


Collect them all and become Mr. Gamer! 


01. Mr. Literal Serial Killer 

02. Mr. Normie 

03. Mr. Bernie Sanders 

04. Mr. Get Anything For Free In Any Shop ¥ 
20. Mr. Sex Number 

21. Mr. Heavenly Virtues 

22. Mr. Deadly Sins 

23. Mr. Original Character 

24. Mr. D.A.R.E. 

25. Mr. Gentrification 

26. Ms. Mad About Video Games 
27. Mr. Meme 

28. Mr. Ominous (discontinued) 


29 
30 
31 
32 


33. 


34 
35 


. Mr. Destiny 

. Mr. Monty Python And The Holy Grail 
. Ms. Zapatista 

. Mr. Hax 

Mr. Just Has The Tattoo 

. Mr. Top Text and Mr. Bottom Text 

. Mr. Finale 


The Unusual Investigations of Kenneth Spencer and 
Robin Thorne 


FromSasha Merlo (AD of Task 
~ CeS, Site-64) 
SubjectRE: UIU Agents Spencer & 
~ jorne 
ToEdgar Holman (Director, Site-64) 


Director, 


As per your request, here is my finalized report about Agents 
Spencer and Thorne. It should provide a comprehensive 
summary of the intel provided by FID and DoA, complemented by 
some of my own observations from working with the two agents in 
the past. Additionally, | took the liberty of reaching out to my 
counterpart in the UIU for additional information; he agreed to 
share several of the Bureau's files regarding the duo as part of a 
larger information exchange (see my earlier memo about Op. 
Dyson Spotter for details). I've gone ahead and included these 
files as an addendum to my original report. 


Finally, because it's pretty obvious why you're asking about these 
two, I'll repeat my recommendation from the conclusion of the 
report. 


While Kenneth Spencer and Robin Thorne are among 
the Bureau's most competent and qualified field agents 
with experience in paranormal affairs, and despite both 
possessing a familiarity with the Foundation and its 
methods, | cannot recommend that any efforts be 
made to recruit either of them. This recommendation is 
based largely on an analysis of the detrimental effect 
such a move would cause to the operational 
capabilities of the Unusual Incidents Unit, potentially 
compromising the mission of JTF Delta-3 and 
hindering the pursuit of Foundation interests within the 


Three Portlands Lol. 


| trust you'll make the right call. 


Sasha Merlo 
Assistant Director of Task Forces, Site-64 


The Three Portlands Bomber 


When a cryptic bomb threat mysteriously appears in Three 
Portlands, Spencer and Thorne are forced to team-up with the 
Foundation's Agent Green to locate the bomber. 


* Permanent Waves — A pair of UIU agents and a chain- 

smoker hunt for a bomb that might not even exist in the 

weirdest city not in this world. Just a typical week in Three 

Portlands. Written by GreenWolf 

A Farewell To Kings — Their investigation into the identity of 

the Three Portlands Bomber takes the trio to Backdoor SoHo, 

where they find themselves caught up in a deadly chase. 

Written by GreenWolf 

¢ Moving Pictures — The hunt for the Three Portlands Bomber 
culminates in a climactic wizard duel in a museum of illegal 
art. Written by GreenWolf 


Other Investigations 


¢ The Blackbird and The Falcon — Anderson Robotics has 
operated with near impunity for decades, out of reach of the 
Foundation and too powerful for the UIU to tackle. But that's 
about to change. Written by Jacob Conwell 

¢ The Best Laid Plans & Volatile Memory — [Divergent 
Canon] — Although his company is gone, Anderson still has 
another trick up his sleeve. Delta-3 intends to make it his last. 


Written by Jacob Conwell 


~ 3nneth Spencer 
Born 01/12/1984 


Operational Role: Kenneth Spencer is a senior Special Agent 
assigned to the Three Portlands field office, where he has significant 
administrative and operational responsibilities. He is the lead 
investigative agent on most cases originating in Three Portlands, 
and functions as the commander of UIU/Foundation Joint Task 
Force Delta-3 ("Organic Free Trade") during operations within the 
city. 


Background & Biography: Born in Portland, Maine, Kenneth 
Spencer lived a relatively normal life, and was unaware of the 
paranormal before joining the Unusual Incidents Unit. The oldest 
son of a federal prosecutor and a Coast Guard officer, he was 
encouraged from a young age to pursue a career in law 
enforcement. He attended the University of Southern Maine, where 
he played baseball, and obtained a bachelor's degree in forensic 
science. 


Kenneth Spencer joined the FBI in 2007, operating as a Special 
Agent out of the Boston field office for 3 years, until an encounter 
with a reality bender prompted his transfer to the UIU in 2010. 
Initially assigned to the Unit's New England field division, he played 
an active role in containing the fallout from a failed Foundation sting 
operation against the anartist group known as Are We Cool Yet. He 
was subsequently reassigned to the Three Portland's field office, 
where he currently remains. 


~Join Thorne 
Born 10/27/1990 


Irregularity Cross-reference: American, Human, Special Agent, 
Three Portlands, Unusual Incidents Unit, Wizard 


Capabilities: Robin Thorne is a wizard with moderate 
thaumaturgical powers. Specializing in ritual casting and 


positioning reactive molecules with atomic precision. Also known as 
a universal constructor. 

5. Since classified as Pol-296. Currently unidentified, they were/are 
capable of supplying anomalous technology. 

6. "Trade of Information". A limited and controlled release of 
information in order to gather presently unknown data. 

7. Meaning unknown but presumably a component of SCP-748. 

8. A technique used in anatomy to preserve bodies or body parts, 
first developed by Gunther von Hagens in 1977. Water and fat are 
replaced with plastics, preserving anatomical properties and 
preventing decay. 


« SCP-747 | SCP-748 | SCP-749 » 


incantations, they are by their own admission comparatively poor at 
evocation, due to both a lack of skill and raw power. To compensate 
for this deficiency, they rely extensively on a set of enchanted 
charms of their own devising, which serve to supplement their 
abilities and allow them to hold their own in what would otherwise be 
disadvantageous confrontations. 


Operational Role: Robin Thorne is a Special Agent assigned to the 
Three Portlands field office as an investigative thaumaturge, where 
their abilities are used for analyzing crime scenes, locating 
witnesses and suspects, and neutralizing occult hazards. While not 
a member of the Unit's Mobile Occult Operations Team, they may 
be consulted as an occult specialist in situations where a full MOOT 
deployment is unwarranted. 


Background & Biography: Born in Three Portlands, Robin Thorne 
is a lifelong resident of that city, and a native of the paranormal 
world. An only child, Robin was raised by their mother, Florence 
Thorne (aka Florence Elsinger), a Special Agent of the Unusual 
Incidents Unit and a former Foundation containment specialist who 
played an instrumental role in the formation of MOOT. A powerful 
thaumaturge in her own right, Florence instructed Robin in the 
basics of thaumaturgy, and encouraged their ambitions to follow in 
her footsteps by joining the UIU. 


In 2007, Florence Thorne was killed in action during operations 
against the Lighthouse Mafia, leaving Robin Thorne an orphan at 
the age of 17. Still intent on joining the UIU, Robin enrolled at the 
Three Portlands campus of the ICSUT on a UIU scholarship, where 
they studied forensic thaumatology and modern ritual frameworks. 
Upon completing their studies, they joined the UIU as a consultant, 
working as a forensic analyst in the Three Portlands field office for 
several years before applying and being accepted as a Special 
Agent. 


A Farewell To Kings 


« Permanent Waves || HUB || Moving Pictures » 


March 22nd, 2017 
Backdoor SoHo