SCP-3499-1: | want to leave. 

Dr. Syeburn: We can discuss that after you've 
answered some questions. 

<Silence is observed for thirteen seconds.> 
Dr. Syeburn: Are the changes made by the 
sword to the wielder random? 

SCP-3499-1: No. 

Dr. Syeburn: How does it decide? 
SCP-3499-1: It doesn't. 

Dr. Syeburn: | am inclined to believe that 
you're not being entirely forthcoming. 
<SCP-3499-1 shifts until it is lying on its side.> 
SCP-3499-1: The Holy Mother of the Realm 
looks into your soul when you wield her sword. 
She chooses whichever dream or desire that 
pleases her the most to turn into a reality. The 
sword only provides the life energy needed to 
make that possible. 

Dr. Syeburn: ... What is "life energy"? 
SCP-3499-1: It is the fuel upon which one's 
soul exists. The sword contains this fuel from 
people that have been slain with it. 

Dr. Syeburn: ... As in... stabbed by the 
sword? 

SCP-3499-1: There are many ways to be killed 
by a sword, but yes. The life energy of those 


who are chosen by the Holy Mother also end 
up inside of the sword after they die. 

Dr. Syeburn: Wait! Can the Holy Mother kill 
the 'chosen people’ at any time? 

SCP-3499-1: Yes. 

<Dr. Syeburn stares down at SCP-3499 
silently. SCP-3499-1 shifts again and prods at 
Dr. Syeburn with its head.> 

SCP-3499-1: Those who are taken into the 
sword remain conscious and are sent into the 
pit. They scream for help, but no one comes 
for them, so they keep screaming until all of 
their life energy has been used up. 

Dr. Syeburn: Y-You're lying! You said before 
that you can't hear or do anything in there! 
SCP-3499-1: Yes. | lied to make sure that you 
would feed the sword and sustain my 
immortality. 

Dr. Syeburn: ... then... why was | chosen? 
Nothing happened to me when | held the 
sword! 

<SCP-3499-1 opens its mouth, seemingly 
mimicking a smile.> 

SCP-3499-1: The Holy Mother tends to 
choose those who are fated to die soon, so 
perhaps she decided that leaving your body 
untouched was the best way to extend your 
lifespan and introduce the sword to more 
candidates. Though, maybe you're just a 
weak, boring man with no aspirations- 

<Dr. Syeburn sheathes the sword, deactivating 
SCP-3499.> 

Dr. Syeburn: You do not scare me! You're a 
relic of the past! You're powerless! 
<SCP-3499-1 begins to fall apart. As it returns 
to a pile of ashes, a hoarse laugh is emanated 
from its' throat.> 

Dr. Syeburn: Fuck your Holy Mother! | will not 
allow anyone else to use this sword or speak 
to you! Mark my words! 


<SCP-3499-1 completely reverts. Dr. Syeburn 
moves toward the room's exit before freezing 
just before grabbing the exit handle.> 

Dr. Syeburn: ... No... 

<SCP-3499 is dropped. Dr. Syeburn holds his 
head as he stumbles away from the exit and 
falls over.> 

Dr. Syeburn: Stop, please! | didn't mean it! 
STOP! 

<Site Personnel move in. A physician begins 
to administer a tranquilizer. Dr. Syeburn does 
not appear to be affected by it.> 

Dr. Syeburn: STOP THE SCREAMING STOP 
THE SCREAMING STOP SCREAMING 
STOP... scream... StOpSSSSSSSS... 

<Dr. Syeburn becomes unresponsive. The 
physician reports that he has expired. At no 
point was the screaming from anyone besides 
Dr. Syeburn recorded.> 

<End Log> 


Conclusion: Activation of SCP-3499 is 
prohibited indefinitely. SCP-3499 and 
SCP-3499-1 are to remain separated even 
when both are in their inert states. 


Articles 3500-3599 


SCP-3500: I'm So Meta Even This Article 


Item #: SCP-3500 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: A circular area with a radius of 
5m around Dr. Ralph Roget is to be monitored at all times. Should 
SCP-3500-1 appear, it is to be detained and placed in a standard 
humanoid containment cell. SCP-3500-1 instances displaying 
cognitive function in line with the original Dr. Roget are to be granted 
class three humanoid privileges, and offered limited employment. 
Due to SCP-3500's relative unpredictability, caution is to be 
observed during SCP-3500-1 manifestations. Instances displaying 
hostile or volatile behavior towards Foundation employees are to be 
subdued on manifestation. Should such hostility continue past initial 
containment, instances are to be terminated to avoid further 
damage. 


Thorough analysis should be conducted to ensure that each 
SCP-3500-1 instance is an SCP-3500-1 instance, and not a result of 
SCP-2546 infection. 


Dr. Roget is to be granted psychological counseling upon request. 
Per Site-77's director Shirley Gillespie, all attempts by Dr. Roget 
to resign or leave his position are to be denied. Since SCP-3500 
began, Dr. Roget has requested amnestic treatment following each 
event. Initially, these requests were granted; however, despite the 
amnestics, Dr. Roget has become mentally unstable. Further 
treatment has been suspended in order to ensure that he becomes 
desensitized to these phenomena. 


Update 2017-4-21 


Foundation personnel possessing level three clearance or higher 
have been notified of recent developments concerning SCP-3500, 


Furthermore, if a specimen used in this manner bites any human 
within approximately one week from the initial event, the bitten 
subject will suffer vivid hallucinations in addition to the normal 
effects of spider venom. 


SCP-452 was recovered from [REDACTED] following intercepted 
hospital reports of anomalous visions experienced by spider bite 
victims, after which a Foundation containment team was dispatched. 


Experiment Log 452-1: 


Date: / / 

Source: D-21017, female Caucasian, 29 years old 

Subject: D-21020, male Hispanic, 31 years old 

Procedure: Specimen of SCP-452 in sealed terrarium placed near 
bed of Source for one week, then Subject exposed to specimen, 
resulting in Subject being bitten. Antivenom administered to mitigate 
physical effects. 

Details: Source confirms no recollection of dreaming during the 
week, despite a history of recurring dreams. Subject immediately 
experienced vivid hallucinations for approximately eleven (11) 
minutes. Upon returning to normal, described hallucinations with 
great detail. Source later questioned, and confirmed that the 
described hallucination matched the description of Source's 
recurring dream. 


Date: // 

Source: D-21389, male African-American, 48 years old 

Subject: D-21395, male Caucasian, 26 years old 

Procedure: Source selected due to known diagnosis of post- 
traumatic stress disorder as a result of combat experiences in 
[DATA EXPUNGED]. Subject confirmed to have no military 
experience or interest. 

Details: Source confirms no recollection of dreaming during the 
week, despite previously having recurring nightmares. Upon being 
bitten, Subject experiences vivid hallucinations and is restrained 
after beginning to scream and thrash. After returning to normal after 
approximately fourteen (14) minutes, Subject describes 
hallucinations as being in a combat zone while [DATA EXPUNGED] 
the bodies of [DATA EXPUNGED]. Several details given match that 
of standard combat procedures as corroborated by Source, which 


and have been placed under close surveillance. SCP-3500's 
mechanism of spreading is currently unknown, and cannot be 
prevented as of this iteration. 


WARNING, ATTEMPTED ACCESS DETECTED 


PLEASE ENTER LEVEL 5 CREDENTIALS OR PATAPHYSICS DEPA 


Partial containment of SCP-3500 has thus far been 
possible through lateral application of Procedure Kuzco- 
Bueller to extract known imprints of swn001-1- 
RGT(Roget) embedded in narrative layers approaching 
Pataphysics' own. Internarrative twining has been 
reduced at a rate of 30-40%, though this effectiveness is 
dropping. Concurrent efforts to slow the rate of 
Operation FLAT HORIZON's spread have thus far 
been unsuccessful. 


SCP-3500, previously contained at the intersection of 
swn001-1-RGT imprints,! has in the last three months 
spread outward through several narrative vectors into 
planes related to other swn-001-1 entities, as well as 
other unclassified entities.2 As spread patterns are 
erratic, it is theorised that several of these vectors are 
undetectable from the bulk narrative viewpoint - MTF-1-0 
have been assigned to explore known possible 
assets, while SCP-423 and SCP-3145 are working 
together to move through fringe narrative and into 
unexplored narrative rootspace, with an aim to 
culling the effects of SCP-3500 at the source. Neither are 
expected to succeed at this time. 


Though the spread of SCP-3500 currently affects just 
13% of known swn001-1 instances, and <1% of known 
swn001-2 instances, current models show a high 
probability of total spread to active entities within 16 
months. SCP-3500 is under consideration for 
reclassification to 'Keter (Uncontained)’. 


Description: SCP-3500 is a phenomenon involving the 


manifestation of anomalous versions of Dr. Ralph Roget, hereby 
dubbed SCP-3500-1, within a 5m radius of the baseline individual. 
SCP-3500 occurs at highly variable intervals, with no discernible 
pattern between manifestations.3 The cause of these manifestations 
is currently not known. 


SCP-3500-1 primarily resemble the baseline non-anomalous Dr. 
Roget in most materializations; however, all recovered instances 
have displayed an array of anomalous properties inconsistent with 
their baseline counterpart (see Table T-3500-1). A number of 
manifestations have exhibited abilities/properties consistent with 
other anomalies contained by the Foundation. SCP-3500's relation 
to these anomalies is currently not understood. 


222 instances of SCP-3500-1 have been captured and contained. 
WARNING, ATTEMPTED ACCESS DETECTED 


PLEASE ENTER LEVEL 5 CREDENTIALS OR PATAPHYSICS DEPA 


SCP-3500 is a distortion of narrative cohesion affecting 
all known canon planes, centred around Dr. Ralph Roget 
of Site-19 and his analogues throughout the metaverse. 
SCP-3500 is theorised to be the result of 
hypercompression of twined planes following Operation 
Flat Horizon and its ancillary operations.4 This 
hypercompression causes bulges at significant data 
points, most notably the imprints of swn001-1 entities, 
causing extreme strain at their respective stacked 
planes. In the most extreme case, that of swn001-1- 
RGT, this has lead to ruptures and the intermixing of 
canons surrounding the point of decohesion. 


With the increasing number of datapoints per day, the 
pressure on swn001-1-RGT's imprint grows 
exponentially, as it does on other unruptured bulges. 
With the predicted insurgence of data points 
following the recent formation of arare data 
hyperposition, the current situation, is likely the 
tipping point of systemic rupture. The consequences of 


such an event remain uncertain; however, predictive 
models appear to indicate a 48% chance of complete 
narrative collapse. 


Addendum: 

The following table contains a selection of SCP-3500-1 entries that 
have been contained. The full list is available to personnel 
possessing clearance level two or higher. 


Identity Date of SCP-3500-1 
Manifestation Description/ 
Characteristics 
SCP-3500-1-001 2012-02-26 Security footage 
captured 


SCP-3500-1-001's 
manifestation within 
Dr. Roget's office. The 
instance possessed 
pink pigmentation, 
feathers? protruding 
from the arms and 
legs, and an orange 
tinted beak in the 
place of a mouth and 
nose. 
SCP-3500-1-001 
became hostile upon 
noting Dr. Roget's 
presence. Dr. Roget 
sustained 2 facial 
lacerations before site 
security could secure 
the instance. 
SCP-3500-1-017 2012-06-19 SCP-3500-1-017 
manifested in Site-77's 
cafeteria atop the food 
distribution line as Dr. 
Roget was eating 
lunch. The entity was 
brown in color and 


SCP-3500-1-054 


2012-11-18 


consistency, and was 
later determined to be 
made entirely of milk- 
chocolate. It began 
moving in Dr. Roget's 
direction, at which 
point it began melting. 
Other personnel 
present report that the 
entity showed signs of 
consciousness as it 
was melting, 
reportedly screaming 
incoherently in Dr. 
Roget's direction. 
Several personnel 
became enamored 
with the material, and 
had to be removed 
from the premise by 
site security. When 
questioned about their 
sudden desire to 
consume the material, 
affected parties all 
mentioned a distinct 
and overwhelming 
aroma which drew 
them towards the 
chocoiate. 
SCP-3500-054 
appeared as Dr. 
Roget was passing a 
Janitorial closet. The 
entity was described, 
by Dr. Roget, as being 
completely composed 
of wood, with the 
exception of the eyes, 
which appeared 


SCP-3500-1-094 


2013-02-19 


human in origin, and 
the hair which 
resembled the 
brushes typically 
found on janitorial 
mops. The entity was 
immobile throughout 
the encounter, and 
began secreting highly 
corrosive fluid from 
the head, resulting in 
the rapid deterioration 
of the wooden tissue. 
Site security was 
alerted shortly after 
this began; however, 
despite repeated 
efforts to neutralize 
the corrosive 
substance, the replica 
ultimately dissolved. 
Dr. Roget filed an 
amnestic treatment 
and personnel transfer 
request following the 
incident. This request 
has been denied. 

Dr. Roget awoke in his 
Site-77 apartment 
three times on the 
morning of February 
19th to a foreign figure 
which he described as 
being "Shadowy, but 
glowing." Following 
the second 
appearance, Dr. 
Roget was awoken by 
a sudden flash of 
bright light and a 


SCP-3500-1-114 


2013-04-18 


distorted high-pitched 
squeal, at which point 
he realized that the 
figure was in fact an 
SCP-3500-1 
manifestation, at 
which point it 
collapsed into a pile of 
its component parts. 
The entity is now 
known to have been 
composed of 92 
children's night lights, 
as well as a number of 
standard extension 
cords. All night lights 
were determined to be 
non-anomalous. Dr. 
Roget was purportedly 
found unconscious in 
his bathroom two days 
following the incident, 
having nearly 
overdosed on 
prescription strength 
sleeping medication. 
Dr. Roget returned to 
his office following 
reports of anomalous 
food bowls in Site-77's 
cafeteria. CCTV 
camera footage 
captured Dr. Roget 
beginning to open the 
door, when he was 
suddenly pushed back 
against the wall of the 
hallway by a flood of 
Tostitos brand corn 
chips. Dr. Roget was 


SCP-3500-1-118 


2013-05-01 


recovered from 
beneath a ceiling high 
pile of chips and 
molten cheese, at 
which point it was 
determined he'd 
suffered numerous 
minor lacerations, and 
first degree burns on 
the arms. During the 
debrief, Dr. Roget 
reported that, as he 
was opening the door, 
he was able to see a 
replica of himself 
made of several 
standard food bowls, 
random assortments 
of molten cheeses, 
and several bags of 
chips. Dr. Roget 
requested 
psychological 
treatment following 
this incident. 

The entity was initially 
clothed in garb worn 
by hunters during the 
early 20th century, 
and possessed 
appropriate hunting 
gear from the period. 
Initially, 118 was 
screened thoroughly 
for anomalous 
properties, however 
none were found. As a 
result, he was offered 
full employment and 
standard level one 


SCP-3500-1-170 


2014-03-29 


security clearance 
despite an irrational 
fear of the moon. On 
May 24th, 2013, Dr. 
Roget found the entity 
within its office, in the 
process of 
transforming into a 
human sized 
Oryctolagus cuniculus, 
at which time it 
managed to escape 
into the site. 57 
additional human 
sized Oryctolagus 
cuniculus were 
contained by site 
security alongside the 
original depletion of 
Site-77's vegetable 
stocks. Dr. Roget put 
in an additional 
request following this 
incident to increase 
psychological 
treatment from once to 
three times a week, 
alongside a second 
personnel transfer 
request. The former 
was granted, and the 
latter denied. 

The circumstances 
behind the 
appearance of 
SCP-3500-1-170 are 
currently unknown.® 
SCP-3500-1-170 is an 
identical version of Dr. 
Roget's head, severed