Item description: Three hundred apple seeds. The same product 
results whenever Doctor King, or an individual who has been asked 
to do the test for Doctor King, activates the machine. Is it as yet 
unclear why this might be, or whether it may be evidence of 
sentience on the part of the machine. 


Money entered: 500 yen 

SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered 

Item description: X-treme Chips - Yellow bag with no labeling or 
nutrition facts save for a gigantic red "X" on the front. Opened 
cautiously to find nothing more than standard potato chips. Fed 
chips to D-Class 24045-06, whose voice immediately grew deeper 
and requested this agent join him in extreme sport activities such as 
surfooarding, mountain climbing, and bungee jumping. Request was 
denied. 


Money entered: 50 yen 

SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered 

Item description: Maxwell House Artificial Coffee Drink - 355 ml 
navy blue can with the Maxwell House Logo prominently displayed 
on upper half. Lower half shows steaming cup of coffee and coffee 
beans. Ingredients listed as water, artificial flavor, and sucrose. 10 
calories. Item was bitter and noted to be inferior to instant coffee. 
Drink is not produced by Maxwell House after product research. 


08:08 


10:30 


10:50 


by aman armed with a shotgun, 
who addresses the personnel 
(including accompanying female 
agent) as "Harold", a close friend 
of the subject. Subject does not 
distinguish between personnel, 
and invites the four "Harolds" over 
for breakfast in the morning. 
Personnel respectfully decline, 
and depart without further 
incident. 

Personnel find several houses 
boarded up, with police officers 
patrolling streets near the local 
bar with marked frequency. 
Several armed men sit outside 
the bar, apparently keeping 
watch. Within, the billiards area 
had been cleared out, allowing for 
bare-chested men and women to 
participate in impromptu bare- 
knuckle boxing matches. Many of 
the men and women have not left 
the bar since the day before. 
Police maintain a heavy presence 
near the bar, although the armed 
men have disappeared. 
Personnel enter the bar, and find 
everyone within calm and 
collected. In groups of two, the 
men slowly begin to leave the bar, 
heading out the back exit. 
Personnel exit the bar, and are 
briefly accosted by local police. 
Officers release the D-Class after 
identifying them as out-of- 
towners. Personnel note the 
officers are highly agitated and 
trembling noticeably. 

Officers begin to surround and 


enter the bar. A bomb is 
detonated moments later, killing 
many of the officers and 
collapsing the small building. 
Personnel flee the scene. 

11:00 Much of the male populace (along 
with sporadic females) of the town 
emerges from their homes fully 
armed. Questioned by personnel, 
they state they are "going 
hunting" and head towards the 
western outskirts of the town. 
Many individuals have blood or 
dye coating their right hands in an 
apparently ritualistic fashion. 

11:32 Personnel station themselves on 
the roof of a house near the 
outskirts of town. Subjects are 
witnessed "hunting" the female 
population whom they have 
apparently herded into a 500-acre 
region of the town. 

11:45 Observation is ended and town 
placed under quarantine 


Affected individuals have proven resilient to interrogation attempts, 
often necessitating 10-18 hours of uninterrupted dialogue by skilled 
interrogators in order to ascertain relevant information. From such 
interrogations, it has been determined that the affected individuals 
may be faintly aware of the existence of SCP-2299 as a physical 
affliction, with some regarding it as a minor nuisance and others as 
a vital "supplement." The sole consistent factor between affected 
individuals apparently aware of SCP-2299 has been in associating it 
and those affected by it with the number 9. 


A single interview log has been retained due to potential relevancy 
in discerning the nature of SCP-2299. 


Interview Log 


Interviewed: [V Madsen, former resident of 


, Washington] 


Interviewer: [Dr. Anna Sobotka] 


<Log skips ahead by 22 minutes> 


Dr. Sobotka: To repeat, you're well aware of 
this— 


Mr. Madsen: Cephalensis-9 


Dr. Sobotka: How did you become aware of 
it? 


Mr. Madsen: Pretty easy. Everyone was 
outside looking at the big tentacle cloud, taking 
pictures. | didn't care, | was just out for a 
smoke. Suddenly I'm getting chills and 
shaking, then everyone else in town starts up. 
Head to the clinic and it's damn near empty. 
The doctor says I'm fine, but | see his hands 
are trembling and he's struggling to write. So | 
start up a casual conversation with him and lo 
and behold, we start getting pretty friendly. 
Turns out we got a lot in common. 


Dr. Sobotka: What sort of things did you have 
in common? 


Mr. Madsen: Just things... Ways of thinking, 
that sort of thing. 


Dr. Sobotka: What about the name, 
"Cephalensis-9"? Where did that come from? 


Mr. Madsen: Are you east European, Ms. 
Sobotka? "Sobotka"... sounds Polish, | think. 


Dr. Sobotka: | am of Polish descent, yes. 


Mr. Madsen: Weird... you don't really look too 


Polish. 
Dr. Sobotka: What? 


Mr. Madsen: Are you sure your parents were 
pure Polish? You've got some decidedly non- 
European features to you. Might be a bit of 
miscegenation in your line. 


Dr. Sobotka: The name, please, Mr. Madsen. 


Mr. Madsen: Just sounded right. It was like 
word association—hear a word, say the first 
thing that pops into your head. Every time | 
thought about the thing, | got words like 
"cephalus" popping in my head. Then it 
morphed to "Cephalensis" so | started calling it 
that and it stuck. | rather like it. The "9" part, 
well... makes it sound more refined that way, 
you know? Like Cephalensis-1 through 8 just 
weren't good enough, but Cephalensis-9 came 
out just right. 


Dr. Sobotka: You said earlier that you noticed 
a sharp increase in violent discussions 
amongst your neighbors, am | right? 


Mr. Madsen: Some chattering, nothing 
serious. Had some very enlightening 
discussions on Zionism with them. It was nice 
to have a receptive audience for once. Too 
many Americans just refuse to hear the truth. 


Dr. Sobotka: At what point did it escalate into 
violence? 


Mr. Madsen: Do you know what truth I'm 
talking about, Anna? Why does such a small 
ethnic group wield such a disproportionate 
amount of political power and influence? Have 
you ever wondered why Zionism got so much 


traction in the West? 


Dr. Sobotka: Please stay focused, Mr. 
Madsen. 


Mr. Madsen: Took barely two hours. Guys 
start polishing their guns, gathering up empty 
beer bottles, taking spare tanks to the gas 
stations. "Just in case" they all said with a 
smile. 


Dr. Sobotka: Were you doing the same? 
Mr. Madsen: No. | don't even own a gun. 


Dr. Sobotka: Were you directly involved in 
that led to the rioting in front of [REDACTED] 
High School? 


Mr. Madsen: | didn't hurt anyone. 


Dr. Sobotka: None of the individuals affected 
by Cephalensis-9 we've encountered have 
displayed any anti-Semitic tendencies. They 
had quite a lot to say about us "uninfected", 
however. Are you sure you had sucha 
receptive audience? 


Mr. Madsen: What, you expect them to be 
vocal about it? Howling "[EXPLETIVE]" in the 
streets and all? 


Dr. Sobotka: It doesn't seem logical to keep 
quiet about wanting to kill Jews but have no 
problem threatening to kill anyone not like 
them, Jew or not. 


Mr. Madsen: You think we all got infected by 
some "crazy mutant virus" that's turning us all 
into racist zombies attacking and killing each 

other. 


Dr. Sobotka: What really prompted the riot? 


Mr. Madsen: Concerned citizens worried 
about the state of their community. 


Dr. Sobotka: From what I've read, your 
community is among the best in the state. Very 
low crime, plenty of decent, hardworking 
people all getting along just fine. No major 
complaints about the mayor or the local police, 
no neighborly feuds escalating into dramatic 
confrontations or brawls in the street. Why 
start now? 


Mr. Madsen: You know what vaccines are, 
right? Vaccines were made to make us 
stronger. And the way you overcome a 
sickness is by being exposed to that sickness, 
just a bit, so our immune system can take a 
peek and figure out just how best to handle it. 
It hurts for a bit, yeah, but in the long run, it 
helps us. Prepares us for future battle with that 
illness, SO we Can Survive. 


Dr. Sobotka: Cephalensis is like a vaccine, 
then? 


Mr. Madsen: Yes. It's... helping us. It sees we 
can't properly function, so it comes down like 
the hand of God and giving us a push in the 
right direction. 


Dr. Sobotka: That's like a vaccine? 


Mr. Madsen: Shit. Sorry, that's not how 
vaccines work. More like... a bit of artificial 
selection. Give us a quick little boost. 


Dr. Sobotka: Why is an alien influence making 
people kill each other a "boost"? 


Mr. Madsen: | didn't say "alien." 
Dr. Sobotka: Then what is it for? 


Mr. Madsen: | already told you. Someone 
clearly screwed up, is all. 


Dr. Sobotka: Who screwed up? 


Mr. Madsen: What ever god or government 
engineered it, obviously. Going back to the 
Original topic a bit, how do you suppose such a 
tiny group of people gain an ungodly level of 
power and influence over so many others? 


Dr. Sobotka: | really can't go on discussing 
this with you, Mr. Madsen. 


Mr. Madsen: Doesn't have to be Zionists, 
could easily be Christians in a non-Christian 
land, immigrants... any group of minorities 
who refuse to recognize they are the minority, 
and refuse to integrate into a society that 
generously accepts them and lets them be 
who they are. Instead, they're insular, and they 
keep themselves walled off from everyone not 
like them. They devote their entire lives to "the 
tribe", or "tribes." They think they're being 
persecuted and they act accordingly. There's 
nothing wrong with borrowing from them, 
adapting their "my tribe" mentality for the 
majority. 


Dr. Sobotka: Right now, Mr. Madsen, you and 
others like you are not the majority. You've all 
suffered significant brain damage from 
whatever this affliction was and it's over now. 


Mr. Madsen: Sure. Of course it is. 


Dr. Sobotka: Thank you for your time, Mr. 


Madsen. 
Mr. Madsen: Whatever... 


<Note: Despite the allegations of Mr. 
Madsen, it is very unlikely any of his 
ideological rhetoric played a role in either 
triggering or exacerbating the outbreaks of 
violence among the affected individuals. 
Mr. Madsen's retention of his pre-existing 
prejudices may be purely incidental 
alongside the effects of SCP-2299.> 


<End Log> 


Note: Based upon the subject's responses and questions, a working 
theory has emerged that SCP-2299 may not have been intended as 
a destructive anomalous effect, but mis-engineered or otherwise 
unintended for human physiology. 


Footnotes 

1. Portion of the brain responsible for spatial recognition and 
navigation, as well as the formation of new memories 

2. Responsible for processing fear and risk, as well as regulating 
emotions 

3. Portion of the brain responsible for rational decision-making, 
empathy, and impulse control. 

4. The interpretation of fictional events as real memories 


« SCP-2298 | SCP-2299 | SCP-2300 » 


Articles 2300-2399 


SCP-2300: Periodic Golems 


Item #: SCP-2300 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2300 instances are 
currently individually contained within specially-designed 
containment units within Site . Containment units must not match 
the composition of the SCP-2300 instance they contain and must be 
resistant to damage caused by the contained instance's three states 
of matter. Radioactive instances of SCP-2300 are to be placed ina 
separate containment area with appropriate shielding. At no point 
should any instance of SCP-2300 and SCP-2046 be kept within the 
same facility. 


Description: SCP-2300 is the collective designation for a series of 
98 miniature humanoid figures. Each instance is composed of a 
single chemical element, and is marked with their respective atomic 
number on the crown of their heads. Individual SCP-2300 are 
designated to match this marking. SCP-2300 are solid at all times 
regardless of the atmospheric pressure and temperature, and exhibit 
the normal properties of the respective element when in a solid 
state. However, SCP-2300 can be physically damaged, and 
separated material is subject to normal melting, freezing, and boiling 
points. SCP-2300 are able to consume any and all matter, allowing 
them to regenerate sustained damages if necessary. Material not 
matching the instance will be ejected from the mouth orifice as a 
solid mass several minutes later, which will often be passed on to 
other SCP-2300 to consume. 


SCP-2300 are sapient and display varying degrees of intelligence, 
with SCP-2300 composed of elements with a lower density typically 
displaying greater intelligence. SCP-2300 often group together with 
others within their elemental period. While incapable of verbal 
speech!, SCP-2300 comprehend both verbal and written English. 
Interviews staged with writing implements reveal that SCP-2300 


Money entered: 1500 yen 

SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered 

Item description: A red mushroom with blue spots, resembling no 
other species of fungus. When fed to D24046-19, he claimed to be 
"[sic] totally tripping balls", and then instructed researchers to "be 
quiet, my show is on". For a duration of one hour, he was no longer 
reactant to any kind of sensory input, alternately laughing and crying 
without correlation to external stimuli. When subject awoke, he 
stated that he did not exactly recall what he had seen, but noted that 
it appeared to be a sitcom. 


Money entered: 100,000 yen 

SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Unpowered 

Item description: [DATA EXPUNGED]. Item has been detained 
and is being tested for sentience. Subject detained for seven days 
for contamination testing. Both tests turn up negative. Subject 
released from detainment along with [DATA EXPUNGED]. Item 
described as "light, but with a burst of flavor". Subject expressed 
desires for more, and depression when request was denied. 


Placing more than 5000 yen in the machine requires formal approval 
for an experiment test. 


Money entered: 100 yen 

SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered 

Item description: A lavishly illustrated menu for "Big Bub's House 
of Subs". Further investigation revealed that the photographs of the 
various menu items were flavored like the items they represented. 
Nutrient content was typical for moderate quality restaurant fare. 
Item was dry, but not filling. 


Money entered: 250 yen 

SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered 

Item description: A blue and yellow 500 ml metal can with a screw- 
on cap, labeled "Dr. Belcher's Magical Flashing Bug Juice". Can 
contains a carbonated fluorescent green liquid which emits 
occasional flashes of bright indigo light. Testing reveals no 
radioactivity or electromagnetic emissions outside the indigo band. 
No nutrition information printed on the can. Tastes strongly of 
tangelos. Heavy diuretic effect that lasted several days.