NOTE: A diagram describes the necessary folds that 
must be performed on the handkerchief to achieve this 
result. Notably, the number of hyacinths produced by this 
effect has increased by one each year since its 
discovery. 


215. The Magic Number 


Effect: The viewer is invited to think of a number 
between 1 and 9. The magician tells her to double 


extremely poor condition, SCP-382-2 manifested as usual, but did 
not disappear 1 second later. SCP-382-2 then [DATA EXPUNGED], 
consuming the then mummified corpse of D-382-gtf87i, and 
proceeded to [DATA EXPUNGED]. Fortunately, only one other 
Class-D was killed before SCP-382-2 was terminated by Agent 

, but the event has necessitated the amending of the 
SCP-382-2's special containment procedures somewhat. | don't feel 
that this warrants a change in classification level. 
- Dr. 


« SCP-381 | SCP-382 | SCP-383 » 


this number, then add 9. Whatever number she has 
should now be between 11 and 27. 

Next, the magician tells her to take this new number 
and add its two digits together. If it is 13, the number 
is 4; if it is 15, the number is 6, and so on. 

The magician then reveals that he knows what 
number she now has: 11! 

She's probably grown up so much since then. 


NOTE: The method involves a precise set of phrases 
that the participant must both hear and understand. 
Testing has shown that when performed correctly, the 
participant will always end up with 11, despite the fact 
that this result is mathematically impossible. 


301. His Final Trick 


Effect: The magician burns what little money he has 
left to publish a book before it's too late. In it, he tells 
her all of his tricks. He tells her how sorry he is that 
he left. He begs her to forgive him. He begs her to let 
him see her one last time. 

And then — like magic — she reappears. 


NOTE: No method for accomplishing this trick is 
provided. 


Footnotes 
1. A highly successful stage-magician active throughout North 
America during the 40s and 50s. 


SCP-3080: The Power of Love 


Item #: SCP-3080 
Object Class: Euclid Neutralized 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3080-1 and -2 are to be 
kept in adjacent humanoid containment cells at Site- . They are to 
be permitted to interact with each other under supervision for 90 
minutes each day. 


Personnel assigned to SCP-3080 should either be aromantic or in 
stable romantic relationships. These personnel are to undergo 
weekly counseling sessions, together with their romantic partners if 
applicable. If any person assigned to SCP-3080 begins displaying 
symptoms of its effects, they are to be reassigned elsewhere. 


Updated Containment Procedures / /2017: SCP-3080-1 is to be 
kept in a humanoid containment cell other than the one in which it or 
SCP-3080-2 was previously contained. It is to be given weekly 
psychiatric therapy, and is currently on suicide watch. Requests for 
items such as media for entertainment may be approved at the 
discretion of its psychiatrist. 


Description: SCP-3080 was the designation for several anomalous 

phenomena surrounding the romantic relationship between Drs. 

Catherine and Simon , designated SCP-3080-1 and -2, 

respectively. They were formerly Foundation-employed researchers 

who declared a consensual romantic and sexual relationship with 

Site- Human Resources on / /2014, and later married on / 
/2015, shortly before the designation of SCP-3080. 


When separated for extended periods of time, SCP-3080-1 and -2 
became increasingly desperate to interact with each other, and 
exhibited anomalous strength and endurance when attempting to 
reunite. 


After SCP-3080-1 and -2 declared their relationship, any person who 
spent a significant amount of time! interacting with SCP-3080-1 and/ 
or -2 exhibited consistent changes in mood and personality. Among 
these were an intense romantic attraction to either SCP-3080-1 or 
-2, and disdain for and jealousy of the other, sometimes 
accompanied by violent urges. 


The choice of one or the other was typically, but not always, 
consistent with the subject's prior romantic preferences; aromantic 
individuals apparently chose at random. While some subjects also 
expressed sexual attraction to SCP-3080-1 or -2, it was 
comparatively rare, and not believed to be correlated with the 
anomalous properties of SCP-3080. 


Likewise, SCP-3080-1 and -2 did not exhibit any anomalous 
strength or endurance when only prevented from engaging in sexual 
activity, given that they were permitted to speak with and see each 
other for at least 90 minutes per day. 


SCP-3080-1 and -2 were also the focal point of several events 
which, while not impossible, are generally considered very unlikely, 
especially given their unusual frequency. These are summarized in 
Document 3080-A. 


+ Document 3080-A: Notable Events 


The following is a list of events believed to have been 
caused by the anomalous properties of SCP-3080. All of 
these events occurred before SCP-3080 was initially 
contained and cataloged. 


¢ On / /2014, shortly after SCP-3080-1 and -2 

declared their relationship, a man named Peter 
contacted SCP-3080-2, claiming to be its 

long-lost twin brother. Further investigation has 
proven that Mr. was indeed who he claimed 
to be. After a relatively short time, he began 
making romantic and sexual advances on 
SCP-3080-1, whose refusals did not deter him. 
Eventually, SCP-3080-1 filed a restraining order on 
Mr. ; he later died in an automotive accident 


shortly after having explicitly written SCP-3080-1 
and -2 out of his will. It was later discovered that 
Peter had a net worth in excess of $100 
million USD. 


Two months after the above incident, one Taryn 
W_ ,acollege roommate of SCP-3080-1, began 
expressing romantic interest in SCP-3080-2 and 
quickly cut off all contact with SCP-3080-1. It was 
soon discovered that Ms. W __ had begun stalking 
SCP-3080-2 with a camera, taking several 
hundreds of pictures of it without its knowledge or 
consent. She was arrested and later tried and 
found guilty of one count of felony stalking. 


On / /2015, SCP-3080-1 was kidnapped while 
shopping at a local grocery store. The kidnapper 
requested ten love letters from SCP-3080-2, 
delivered via dead drop on ten separate 
occasions, as ransom. SCP-3080-2 initially 
complied, but SCP-3080-1 managed to subdue the 
kidnapper, one Arnold H , and turn him over to 
local authorities. Mr. H had previously been a 
coworker of SCP-3080-2 at Site- . Notably, he 
was believed to be heterosexual and 
heteroromantic, but still expressed interest in 
SCP-3080-2 over -1. He was amnesticized in 
accordance with protocol, then turned over to local 
authorities. SCP-3080-1 was unharmed. 


On / /2015, SCP-3080-1 and -2 were married at 
Lutheran Church in [REDACTED]. During the 
ceremony, Peter entered the church with a 
shotgun and ordered the priest and wedding party 
to stop the ceremony. They complied, and he 
described how he had faked his own death, then 
went on to describe his romantic feelings for 
SCP-3080-1 in great detail. Due to SCP-3080-1 
and -2's employment as researchers, several 
Foundation agents were in attendance; they 


subdued Mr. with no harm to any civilians or 
Foundation personnel. The ceremony was then 
completed without further incident. 


After SCP-3080-1 and -2's honeymoon, they 

recommended that their relationship be classified 

as an SCP object. This recommendation was 

accepted by the Site Director and O5 Council on / 
/2015. 


+ Interview Log 3080-Alpha 


Interviewer: Dr.O  , aresearcher who had 
been assigned to SCP-3080 for several 
months 


Subject: SCP-3080-1 
Extraneous material has been redacted. 
[BEGIN LOG 11:45:31 / /2017] 


Dr.O  : We're working under the theory that 
it's some kind of memetic effect. Do you 
remember coming into contact with any 
anomalous object that might have triggered 
one? 


SCP-3080-1: No. Neither Simon nor | worked 
with memetic anomalies. My department was 
dimensional, and his was biological. 


Dr.O  : Huh, that's right. Actually, is it 
possible that SCP-3080-2 came into contact 
with something that would make you, | don't 
know, produce anomalous pheromones? 


SCP-3080-1: Frankly, | doubt it, but maybe 
you'd get a different answer if you asked him. 


Dr.O- :1 think I'll add that as a note to your 
file anyway. 


SCP-3080-1: Sounds good. Anything to let us 
be together in peace, right? 


Dr.O_ : By the way, there's one more thing | 
should mention. 


SCP-3080-1: What's that? 


Dr.O  : Has anyone ever told you that your 
eyes sparkle more beautifully than the midday 
sun, with a blue deeper than the calmest 
ocean? 


SCP-3080-1: Oh, God damn it. [shouting] Can 
we get security in here? 


Dr.O  : Don't worry, I've switched their shifts 
around. We can be together in peace, just like 
you wanted. 


SCP-3080-1: | wasn't talking about you, | 
meant me and Simon. 


Dr.O- : 1 know you think you have to say 
that. Don't you worry, I'l be back before you 
can even say "I miss you." 


SCP-3080-1: What? 
[END LOG 11:49:08 / /2017] 


The events immediately following this interview 
were recorded on surveillance footage and are 
described in Incident Log 3080-Aleph. 


+ Incident Log 3080-Aleph 


The following is a transcript of relevant Site- 
surveillance footage immediately following the 
interview in Interview Log 3080-Alpha. 


[BEGIN TRANSCRIPT 11:49:09 / /2017] 


Dr.O — exits the interview chamber and seals 
the door behind him, locking SCP-3080-1 
inside. He proceeds down the corridor toward 
SCP-3080-2's containment chamber. 


45 seconds later, he reaches the containment 
chamber and uses his keycard to enter, then 
seals the cell door. SCP-3080-2 is visible 
inside, and is staring at a framed photo of 
SCP-3080-1. 


SCP-3080-2: Hi, do you need me for 
something? 


Dr.O_ : Don't even talk to me, you son of a 
bitch. 


SCP-3080-2: Oh, God. Not again. 


Dr.O _ pulls the portrait out of SCP-3080-2's 
hands and throws it against the cell wall before 
seizing SCP-3080-2 by the collar and pushing 
it into a corner. 


Dr.O :She deserves so much better than 
you. What did she even see in you? 


SCP-3080-2: Dr. O __, this isn't you, this is the 
anomaly talking, you've got to— 


Dr.O  :1knowit's not your money. She 
made more than you! 


SCP-3080-2: Dr.O __, please, we love each 
other, just let me go. 


Dr.O produces a silenced pistol and shoots 
SCP-3080-2 in the chest three times. He drops 
SCP-3080-2 on the ground, then proceeds to 
violently kick it. 


At this time, SCP-3080-1 pries open the cell 


door and finds its counterpart and Dr. O 


Dr.O : Nowitcan be just you and me, 
together forever. 


SCP-3080-1: Oh my God. Simon. 


SCP-3080-1 begins to cry and attempts to 
tend to SCP-3080-2's wounds. Its attempts are 
ineffectual. 


Dr.O :Come here, beautiful, | love you. 


SCP-3080-1: How could you do this? | never 
wanted this. 


At this point, SCP-3080-1 is standing and 
facing Dr.O _, who attempts to kiss it. 
SCP-3080-1 screams and throws Dr.O at 
the cell wall with enough force to concuss him 
and break two of his ribs. 


[END TRANSCRIPT 11:50:54 / /2017] 


Despite the efforts of SCP-3080-1 and Site- 
medical staff, SCP-3080-2 expired from its 
wounds at 11:56:14. 


Due to his actions under the influence of 
SCP-3080, Dr.O 's Foundation employment 
was terminated and he was amnesticized in 
accordance with standard protocol. 


SCP-3080-1 has not exhibited any of the 
anomalous properties of SCP-3080 on its own, 
and as such SCP-3080 is considered 
neutralized. Following these events, 
SCP-3080-1 has shown symptoms of 
depression as well as suicidal tendencies. Its 
containment procedures have therefore been 
updated for its health and protection. 


Footnotes 

1. This amount of time varied widely; however, the median was 
roughly 400 hours.Aromantic individuals, as well as those in stable 
romantic relationships, required more time to be affected. 


SCP-3081:HANDMILK™ 


Item #: SCP-3081 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: The mouth of the access road 
leading to SCP-3081 has been camouflaged via standard 
Foundation forestry protocols. SCP-3081 should be checked 
routinely, and any notable changes documented. Civilians 
discovered accessing SCP-3081 are to be interrogated, 
amnesticized and released. 


Description: SCP-3081 is an irregularly shaped extradimensional 
space!', accessible via a dirt road in unincorporated Perkins County, 
South Dakota, USA. The exterior of SCP-3081 appears to be a 
grove of mixed deciduous trees smaller than the internal 
dimensions. Within, SCP-3081 is a grassy plain surrounded by thick 
forest similar in species to that of the outer area. Weather patterns 
inside SCP-3081 do not match those of the surrounding area, 
tending toward fair, with only intermittent light rainfall observed. 
Items such as tin pails and wooden stools have been found within 
SCP-3081 on occasion. SCP-3081 also contains 9 instances of 
SCP-3081-1. 


SCP-3081-1 are large@ organisms resembling human hands. 
SCP-3081-1 locomote using the thumb and index, ring and little 
fingers, while the middle finger acts as a head. SCP-3081-1 lack 
fingerprints. Genetic analysis of sampled material has revealed a 
75% match to human DNA, with the remainder unknown. All 
instances bear skin depigmentation consistent with vitiligo. 


Emerging from the back of each instance is a proportionally sized 
human arm that extends into the treeline. Attempts to find further 
anatomical features, such as joints past the wrist, have been 
hampered by the thickness of the surrounding forest and the skittish 
nature of SCP-3081-1. It is unknown whether the arms have a 


SCP-383: Variably Useful Flu 


Item #: SCP-383 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: All samples of SCP-383 must 
be kept in standard airtight, plastic containers frozen into ice blocks, 
and stored in a locker kept at -5 degrees Celsius at all times. All 
samples of SCP-383 removed for testing must be handled with a 
minimum safety equipment of a face mask, latex gloves, and 
protective goggles (optional if personnel already wear prescription 
glasses.) Personnel are reminded to wash hands after handling 
SCP-383 related materials. 


All suspected and confirmed infections of SCP-383 will be treated 
with personnel, and anyone they have had direct contact within the 
frame of infection, placed into quarantine for the duration of testing. 
A confirmed case of SCP-383 will result in personnel being placed 
under a week-long quarantine and placed on antivirals until testing 
reveals that SCP-383 is fully flushed from the system. Infected 
civilians are to be treated similarly, and given a Class B Amnestic, 
and told that they are in quarantine for a highly virulent new strain of 
the flu, and the cause of the outbreak must be identified. 


All objects created by SCP-383 must be cataloged, along with the 
current state of the host. Hosts of SCP-383 will be given a high- 
nutrition IV drip and unless Class-D testing is in operation, hosts will 
be kept mildly sedated and in safe, hospitable situations. 


For obvious security reasons, SCP-383 may not be introduced to 
any other SCP's. 


Description: SCP-383 is a viral infection, first categorized as a 
variant of influenza. The initial symptoms of SCP-383 are similar to 
those of the common cold, ranging through a variety of aches and 
pains, sinus issues, sore throat, upset stomach, coughing and 


terminus.