But don't worry mommypult and daddypult | will still splat just like 
you taught me to even if the things here to splat are strange. 


Splat! 


All the other inanimatals here don't move. It's so strange here 
mommypult. 


Splat! Splat! Splat! 


Help me daddypult there are walking things chasing me! They are 
too big for little me to splat. 


It's dark in here mommypult. I'm scared of the dark. 
| can't move daddypult. I'm all tied up. 


| can't go to sleep without a story daddypult. 


Where am |? 
Yay! Things to splat! 
Splat! Splat! Splat! Splat! Splat! Splat! Splat! 


Did you see me splat all those things daddypult? Are you proud of 
your little babypult? 


| can't see the sky anymore mommypult where did it go what 
happened to it is it missing like you are? 


I'm tied up in the dark again daddypult where are you? 
Yay! More things to splat! 
Splat! Splat! Splat! Splat! 


Please don't put me in the dark again walking things please don't 
what did | do wrong? | splatted those things for you I'll be good | 
promise do you know where daddypult and mommypult are? 


No please it's dark in here. 
Please. 

I'll be good 

| promise 


Yay! If | splat these for you will you take me to daddypult and 
mommypult | want to see them will you please? 


Splat! Splat! Splat! Splat! Splat! Splat! 
No please not the dark again. 

Please no. 

lts dark. 


Walking things? 


Please let me out. 
Please. 


When will you let me out again? You left me in the dark walking 
things for so long. 


| want my mommypult! 


Please. 


Little Lost Skip 


Dr. Andrea Segerstrom had stopped trying to control the nervous 
picking at her flaking, peeling nails. They'd always been soft and 
prone to splitting even when left alone. And in this situation her 
polished, tasteful French manicure had become a ragged mess. 
Nigel detested her ruined nails and the snags in his precious 
sweaters that followed them. 


Then again, it was on Nigel's account that she was nervously ruining 
her manicure to begin with. I'd probably stop greying if | just 
divorced him already, she thought in anguish. Out loud she said, 
"But you don't know it's him." 


"No we don't, ma'am," said the agent sympathetically. Andrea had 
already forgotten his name. He was a hulking giant of a man with a 
paradoxically cherubic face. "We don't know who's been 
compromised. That's why you're here, Doctor. We were hoping you 
could straighten this out." 


"But I'm Nigel's wife. Aren't they concerned the emotional 
connection might affect my judgment?" 


"Are you?" 


"Every good psychiatrist recognizes they may be influenced by 
emotion and never even realize it." 


"Dr. Segerstrom, you were the obvious choice. What with your work 
on SCP-1536..." 


"| only directly researched subjects exposed to SCP-1536 and the 
long-term effects of SCP-1563 exposure. Yes, | used 1536 as a 
case study for Human-Impersonating Anomalies, but 1536 was 
hardly sophisticated." 


The sweet-faced agent flipped through her file. "It says here your 


work on HIAs is seminal to the field. Who else could we call in?" 


Andrea sighed before peeling off what was left of her right pinky nail. 
"Fine. Give me the relevant facts." 


"At 0300 today, Area-29 experienced a massive containment breach 
due to an attack by the Chaos Insurgency. After all the other 
breached anomalies had been secured at 0430, it came to Area 
command's attention that SCP-378 was still at large. The entire Area 
has been placed under quarantine. Nobody comes in or out until we 
get this sorted out." 


"So we have an entire Area's worth of personnel, one of which might 
have been compromised?" 


"Not exactly. We were able to clear all but five personnel before our 
brain scanning equipment was compromised." 


Andrea leaned forward. "Wait. If this site is under quarantine, why 
am | here?" 


The agent sighed. "We don't have any medical personnel to spare. 
So if we get new scanners, they'll have to send all the technicians 
and doctors to operate it, and someone's going to have to get close 
enough to SCP-378's host to run the risk of being killed. And I'm 
sure you're aware that's how SCP-378 breached containment the 
first time. Or we could send the closest expert in detecting non- 
human anomalies and have you interview the five personnel being 
contained. They deemed the latter to be lower-risk." 


Andrea leaned back in her seat. "Alright. Let me go over everything 
SCP-378 has ever communicated to us. After that, I'll soeak to the 
five in quarantine." 


The agent handed her a depressingly thin file folder. "Good luck," he 
said before leaving the debriefing room. 


Agent Brenner. Agent Tom Brenner is his name, Andrea thought 
pointlessly before going to work. 


Five different quarantine rooms. Five different windows, five different 


microphones. But only four humans in those five rooms. Can't hurt 
to start with the basics. Andrea couldn't help humming to herself as 
she interviewed the unlucky five. 


Quarantined Subject One appears to be Dr. Erik Vanderhausen, 
Nordic male, forty years old. Blond hair, blue eyes, 2.1 meters tall. 
Senior Researcher, Microbiology, assigned to SCP-378. Married to 
Aimee Vanderhausen for fifteen years with two children, Sigrid, ten, 
and Adrian, two. He displays all the classic symptoms of shock. 
Visible pallor and sweat, and breaks into tears while reciting the 
names of his children. 


"| just want to see my kids again. | can't be locked up forever, | have 
to tell my wife I'm sorry | fucked up the garden, she loves that thing, 
you know? I'm not SCP-378, please let me go!" 


"Dr. Vanderhausen, | will ask you to remain calm. The Foundation 
hates false positives as much as it hates false negatives. If you are 
uncompromised you will return to your family unharmed." 


One of these things is not like the other ones... 


Quarantined Subject Two appears to be Tessa McAvoy, Scottish 
female, twenty-nine years old. Auburn hair, hazel eyes, 1.63 meters 
tall. Clerical Personnel, Clearance Level 1. Daughter of Sarah and 
John McAvoy and visits them frequently at their home in Arizona. Is 
notably calmer than the other four. 


"Sorry Doc, you know these guys don't tell me anything. Men, huh? 
Between us girls, what's going on? So, the gas leak got fixed, right?" 


"Sorry Ms. McAvoy, | can't comment on ongoing situations, but | can 
tell you I'm here to straighten things out. I'm just going to ask you 
some questions about your family." 


"Don't you guys have that on file or something?" 


"We just want to test your mental wellness in the wake of this event. 
Now if you could provide us with your date and location of birth, your 
immediate family members..." 


"Fire away, Doc." 


One of these things just doesn't belong... 


Quarantined Subject Three appears to be Britney Howard, American 
female, twenty-eight years old. Light brown hair, light brown eyes, 
1.51 meters tall. Clerical Personnel, Clearance Level 1. Is on friendly 
terms with Tessa McAvoy. Lives with her boyfriend of one year, 
Bradley Weston. Is nervous but not panicked. 


"Look Dr. Segerstrom, | know you guys are working with some 
dangerous stuff and I'm kinda freaked out. It's not like | thought 
bioweapons research would be a walk in the park but | didn't sign up 
for this, you know?" 


"| understand your concern. Your safety is our top priority." 


"Did...did one of your samples get loose or something? | don't have 
cholera or some shit like that do |?" 


"| can't comment on security breaches, but | am here to ask you 
some basic questions to gauge your emotional response to these 
events..." 


Can you tell which thing is not like the others... 


Quarantined Subject Four is Dr. Cheng-Gong Li, Chinese male, 
thirty-two years old. Black hair, dark brown eyes, 1.70 meters tall. 
Research Assistant to Dr. Vanderhausen. Engaged to Chan-Juan 
Wen, a biochemist at Area 19. Is belligerent and loudly insists on 
being released from quarantine. 


"| don't understand! My name is Cheng-Gong Li, | was born in 
Hainan Province, | met my fiance Chan-Juan at Johns Hopkins and 
we're getting married three months from now. I'm not SCP-378, let 
me go!" 


"If you're aware of SCP-378 then you know that it is a very 
sophisticated HIA and has access to the host's memories. | do not 
yet know whether or not you are really Dr. Li." 


"This is ridiculous! Are you just going to keep us here until the host 
dies and the damn worm bursts out of the poor bastard's skull?" 


« SCP-894 | SCP-895 | SCP-896 » 


"Please remain calm, Dr. Li." 


"Don't you dare tell me to remain calm! I'm a Foundation researcher! 
I'll be dead by the time you incompetent fucks find 378! Let! Me! 
Out!" 


By the time | finish this song? 


Quarantine Subject Five is Dr. Nigel Segerstrom, Caucasian male, 
thirty-six years old. Medium brown hair, blue eyes, 1.83 meters tall. 
Clinical psychiatrist specializing in memetic hazards. Married to Dr. 
Andrea Segerstrom, Foundation psychiatrist specializing in the 
detection of human-mimicking anomalies. Is, like Ms. McAvoy, 
unusually calm and rational. 


"Hi, Peach." 


Andrea retained her professional demeanor while inwardly flinching 
at the pet name. "Hello, Dr. Segerstrom. As you're aware, there has 
been a containment breach of SCP-378. We would like to ask you 
some basic questions now." 


Five's faint smile flickered out. "I'm sorry, Andrea. | really shouldn't 
have called you that. | suppose | was hoping the nickname would 
convince you it was me, but SCP-378 can't be rooted out with cheap 
gimmicks like that." 


"Let's stick to the questions, Dr. Segerstrom." 
"Of course, Doctor." 


The rest of the interview was uneventful until QS-Five said 
plaintively, "| have an idea to catch 378." 


Andrea shot him a guarded look. "Do you?" 


Five sighed. "That's the thing. | don't know it'll be of any use to you, 
coming from me. You'll have to figure it out yourself. Not that I'm 
worried, of course." Five leaned back and smiled dreamily. "You 
always were the first one to find the best solution. I'll be out of here 
in no time." 


Andrea suddenly felt that she would forget how to cry if she didn't do 
so soon. "Well, Doctor, that ends our chat. We will continue to 
interview you and the other quarantined personnel." 


"Alright. I'll see you then." 


As Andrea stood and turned to the exit, QS-Five called. "Andrea! 
Wait!" She turned. 


Five was standing out of his chair, face pressed against the 
protective glass. "| was wrong. It won't work. | have no idea how to 
identify 378. It's all on you, Peach." 


Andrea nodded perfunctorily. "Thank you, Dr. Segerstrom." She was 
very proud of herself for managing to keep the tears in until she was 
alone in her room. 


Dr. Matthew Inglewood was not particularly thrilled to see Andrea. 
As Area 19's resident psychiatrist, he felt somewhat shafted by the 
decision to call her in. He was thus rather eager to prove himself. 
"Far be it from me to question your methods, but isn't it a bit 
unnecessary to apply Tier One PIDHIA? SCP-378 is a fairly 
sophisticated Human Impersonating Anomaly. It's passed Tier One 
since it was contained." 


"The Protocols for the Detection of Human-Impersonating 
Anomalies are meant to be applied sequentially. And 378 is hardly 
infallible. Perhaps its access to host memories is imperfect." 


"Is it?" 

"Not that we can tell. But at least now we know that." 

"So we apply Tiers Two through Four?" 

"Did that." 

Dr. Inglewood looked furious. "That's it then. The second we get a 


surgical machine down there, we open up their skulls. To hell with 
it.” 


"That might not be necessary." Andrea stood up, closing the 
yellowed paperback she was reading. "PiDHIA focuses on things the 
original person would know that the imitator would not. SCP-378 
clearly has access to all the person's memories and personality 
traits. It's spoken about using the science of other planets to seed 
space. Its intelligence has given it quite a nasty little superiority 
complex." 


"So?" 


"| have an idea. Get me your resident mathematician," Andrea 
ordered as she tossed the book at Inglewood. 


Inglewood seethed as he flipped over the paperback. It was a beat- 
up copy of /, Robot. He threw Asimov's beloved work in the corner of 
the room as he reflected this was a lose-lose situation for him. If Dr. 
Segerstrom failed, he was stuck with a bodysnatcher and if she 
succeeded, well, she succeeded. 


"Dr. Vanderhausen, we have finished the first round of testing. This 
second round tests higher level logical reasoning. We are hoping 
that SCP-378 does not have access to this part of the human brain." 


"Wait, what? | haven't been working on 378 long but that doesn't 
sound right." 


"We have this protocol in place for a reason, Dr. Vanderhausen. You 
may take as long as you like. It's a simple test. Just do the best you 
can." 


"Hah! No pressure, right? God, and to think | thought the A-levels 
were terrifying..." 


Did you guess which thing was not like the others? 


"Ms. McAvoy, we need to test if this recent emotional trauma has 
impaired your reasoning. If that is the case, we will make psychiatric 
care available to you. Please complete this test to the best of your 
ability. You have all the time you need." 


"Uh, okay. | was really bad at math in high school though." 


"That's fine. This test is like the LSAT in that it doesn't test prior 
knowledge, but reasoning ability. It shouldn't be difficult." 


"Okay, Doc. For science, | guess." 
Did you guess which just doesn't belong? 


"Ms. Howard, we are concerned that this recent breach of security 
may have affected you negatively. Studies have shown that 
intellectual ability can be drastically harmed by emotional trauma. 
We're asking everyone to take this simple assessment of logical 
reasoning skills to gauge your mental health. It requires no prior 
knowledge and is not timed." 


"Oh, okay. And when I'm done?" 

"Slip it into this drawer and await further instructions." 
"Whatever you say, Doctor." 

If you guessed that this one is not like the others 


"Dr. Li, this is the second round of our protocols to determine 378's 
host. We believe 378 exposure curtails high reasoning abilities at 
the expense of an increased recall of the host's memories and 
behavior. This assessment will gauge your math and logic abilities. 
Take all the time you need." 


"The hell | will. This thing looks like the Rosetta Stone." 


"Please don't be discouraged. This is a basic assessment and 
doesn't rely on prior knowledge." 


"All right. I'll take it, and I'll show you. Not only will | prove I'm clean, 
I'll blow the damn thing out of the water." 


Then you're absolutely... 


"Dr. Segerstrom, in accordance with protocol, we are administering 
a basic test of logical reasoning skills. This assessment requires no 
prior knowledge and is not timed. It is our belief that SCP-378 may 
be able to access so much host information at the expense of higher 


brain functions. This assessment will help us make a decision." 
"Oh, Andrea, you know I'm horrible with tests." 
"Please complete the test to the best of your ability." 


"Alright. Just promise me | won't be terminated for not having 378 as 
an excuse for failing.” 


Andrea paused. "I promise." She meant "I love you", and they both 
knew it. 


The next time Inglewood encountered Andrea, it appeared his ill 
mood had spread to the wiry man with the mussed hair beside her. 
He was going through the stack of tests with a ruler, carefully 
scanning each line. "Ah! It's so obvious when it's written like that! Do 
you know how infuriating this is?" 


"What?" asked Inglewood. He had a vague feeling that the frazzled 
looking gentleman was irritated by something completely different 
than the woman with them.