Special Containment Procedures: As SCP-496 is only contained 
for her own protection, she is to be contained in a standard 
humanoid containment cell at Site 19 which has been renovated to 
match regular senior staff member housing. SCP-496 may not leave 
the site, but should be provided with anything she needs for her 
research or personal use upon request. 


Description: SCP-496, who is to be addressed as Senior 
Researcher Dr. Margaret Sawyer-Sheen, is a 21-year old Caucasian 
female with deep purple-violet eyes and silver (not gray) hair with 
gold (not blonde) streaks. She graduated from Harvard University at 
the age of 17 and at the head of her class, and holds a Ph.D in 
Medicine, Applied Physics, and Biology. She has two small, 
atrophied protrusions on her back (approximately 40 cm in length 
when extended) resembling dove wings with pure white feathers. 
She is unable to move these "wings" and is not sure how they came 
to be, other than they appeared on her 16th birthday. Despite not 
being completely human, she has been unanimously voted as the 
most beautiful researcher at Site 19 by staff. 


Dr. Sawyer-Sheen was voluntarily contained by the Foundation in 
2008 after learning about the Foundation through the Internet and 
determining that turning herself in was the right thing to do. She was 
initially turned down, but was able to convince the undercover 
agents that letting her in would be for the greater good. Upon being 
accepted by the Foundation, she worked extra hard to prove that 
she could be a valuable addition to the Foundation research team, 
and became a Senior Researcher by the age of 20. 


Margaret is the head of the medical research department of Site 19, 
where she develops new medicines and tools to improve the lives 


and health of agents and researchers stationed there. She has been 
described as "caring" and "kind" and is often requested by name by 
injured personnel, which takes up most of her time but she doesn't 
mind. She prefers to be called "Maggie", and will get upset if 
referred to as SCP-496. Dr. Sawyer-Sheen also has unrestricted 
access to SCP-500 and SCP-914 for the purpose of research and 
development, as the O5 Council has determined that she is more 
than responsible enough to make proper use of them. 


At her request, Dr. Sawyer-Sheen's salary is to be donated to the 
Humane Society and International Red Cross as she doesn't need it. 


Addendum 496-1: Incident 496-07-1 1 


Dr. Sawyer-Sheen has been reprimanded for 
unprofessional conduct for being engaged in a romantic 
relationship with Dr. Alto Clef. We will not condone this 
kind of behavior at the Foundation, and the two are to be 
separated immediately. 


Dr. Jack Bright 
Site Director, Site 19 


Addendum 496-2: Senior Staff Notation 


Bright, you bastard, don't think | don't know what you're 
doing. My relationship with Maggie may be non-sexual 
since we aren't married yet, but we love each other and | 
won't let you come between us. If you think you can get 
away with this, just you wait! This means war! 


Dr. Alto Clef 
Senior Researcher 


Addendum 496-3: Incident 496-07-14 


After a lot of fighting, tears, and a dramatic confession 
set against a beautiful sunset, Drs. Bright and Clef have 
agreed that Dr. Sawyer-Sheen is to be Dr. Clef's 
girlfriend, but Dr. Bright can still hang out with her once a 
week but only as a friend. 


Dr. Agatha Rights 
Senior Researcher 


Addendum 496-4: Researcher Note 


It's absolutely stupid to suggest that | don't feel anything 
for women. | just had to save myself for the perfect 
woman by pushing everyone else away. 


Dr. Alto Clef 
Senior Researcher 


Addendum 496-5: Researcher Note 


No, | don't want another number. 496 isa perfect 
number and | like it. 


Dr. Margaret Sawyer-Sheen 
Senior Researcher 


SCP-048-J: Negative Probability Phrase 


Item #: SCP-048-J 
Object Class: Keter 


Special Containment Procedures: Due to its prevalence in public 
society, no method has proven effective in fully containing SCP-048- 
J. Rumors are to be disseminated to the public that the use of 
SCP-048-J is "bad luck" to discourage the continuation of its use. 
This is to be accomplished through word of mouth and by 
representing SCP-048-J in a negative light in mass media. All 
Foundation employees are to be alerted to the true nature of 
SCP-048-J, and requested to minimize or fully cease its use in their 
speech and writing. 


Description: SCP-048-J is a set of anomalous phrases which, when 
spoken or written, will cause a manipulation of probability in the 
user's vicinity. These shifts in probability are universally detrimental 
to the user or the the completion of the user's objectives, and to any 
factors or individuals that may have been directly beneficial to the 
user. SCP-048-J consists primarily of the phrase "T c'g a 

w_ "but variations of this phrase also seem to activate SCP-048-uJ's 
probability manipulation effect. 


Addendum 1: Example of SCP-048-J's use. Audio sample from the 
Site- containment breach on / / 


<Begin Log> 

Agent Leon Red: [panting] Are they still behind us? 
Agent Paulus Shirt: No, I-| think we outran them. 
Agent Red: Nasty little buggers, aren't they? 


Agent Shirt: Yeah, | don't think they'll find us in here 


though. 


Agent Red: Aw, who are you kidding? If they don't find 
us, something worse will. We're good as dead already 
unless the reinforcements get here in time. 


Agent Shirt: Come on. Okay, so maybe we're stuck in 
the middle of a containment breach. And maybe we 
won't make it out. And maybe we're cut off from 
everyone else on the site. But look on the bright side! At 
least [SCP-048-J] 


Agent Red: No! You idiot! You're never supposed to 
say- 


Site- Automated Announcement System: 
ATTENTION ALL PERSONNEL. SCP-008 HAS 
BREACHED CONTAINMENT. SCP-096 HAS 
BREACHED CONTAINMENT. SCP-106 HAS 
BREACHED CONTAINMENT. SCP-173 HAS 
BREACHED CONTAINMENT. SCP-682 HAS 
BREACHED CONTAINMENT. SCP-2317 HAS 
BREACHED CONTAINMENT. [DATA EXPUNGED] HAS 
BREACHED CONTAINMENT. 


Agent Red: You just had to say it, didn't you? 


Agent Shirt: You don't honestly think that that happened 
because | said "[SCP-048-J]" 


[DATA EXPUNGED]: FOUN you. 


Agents Red and Shirt: 
AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! 


<End Log> 


Closing Statement: In the ensuing containment breach, 
Site- was destroyed, atotalof | anomalies breached 
containment, andall , , , on-site personnel were 
killed. Agent Paulus Shirt has been issued a posthumous 


The attractive force exerted by the field increases linearly with the 
amount of dead material in close proximity to the SCP. Past a 
certain point (measured at approximately 295 kilograms of necrotic 
material within two meters of the SCP), the progression becomes 
exponential, and the field's strength and radius increase rapidly. 


The field also appears to have an effect on permanent magnets; the 
field strength of magnets in proximity to SCP-555 decreases over 
time, with the rate of decrease changing in proportion to SCP-555's 
field strength. 


SCP-555 was recovered by agents in 19 in acemetery in : 
California. The Foundation was alerted to a possible SCP after a 
coffin due to be buried was pulled from the pallbearers’ grip and 
came to rest above the grave ofa , who died in 1948. 


's body was turned over to Foundation forensic specialists, 
who noted that the torso appeared to have been smashed inward, 
though with no skin damage. The SCP was found inside the 
corpse's stomach. The corpse was found to have no other 
anomalous properties and was reinterred. 


A ground-penetrating radar survey of the cemetery showed that all 
coffins in a twelve-meter radius had been displaced underground 
towards the site containing the SCP. 


Addendum: See Incident Log 555-1. 
« SCP-554 | SCP-555 | SCP-556 » 


reprimand. 

Addendum 2: Log from the Area- break room. 
<Begin Log> 
Junior Researcher Joseph Shmoe: Morning 


Security Agent Wolf: Hey Joe, how's your morning 
been? 


Junior Researcher Shmoe: Not too good. The wife just 
filed for divorce. 


Agent Wolf: Hm. Sorry to hear that. 


Junior Researcher Shmoe: Yeah, and that's on top of a 
bunch of other stuff. This day literally can't get an- [At 
this point in the recording Junior Researcher Shmoe has 
his head shot off by Agent Wolf.] 


Agent Wolf: Don't you ever say that! 
<End Log> 


Closing Statement: Agent Wolf has been awarded the 
Foundation Gold Star for bravery in the face of danger 
and for averting the containment breach of SCP-048-J. 
Research into Junior Researcher Shmoe's past revealed 
that he was, in fact, a sleeper agent for the Chaos 
Insurgency who was meant to sabotage Foundation 
operations using SCP-048-J. 


Addendum 3: On // _ ,asecond form of SCP-048-J was 
discovered and designated SCP-048-J-2. SCP-048-J-2 consists of 
the phrase"W cp g w- ?" When spoken by an individual 
involved in an experiment or project involving an SCP object, it will 
invariably cause the failure of the endeavor and large-scale 
collateral damage, often with far-reaching consequences. The 
negative effects of SCP-048-J-2 appear to be multiplied 
exponentially if the user has been previously advised against 
carrying out the endeavor. 


SCP-333-J: Skippy's Corner Pub 


Item #: SCP-333-J 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-333-J has been 
purchased from the owner through a front corporation and staffed 
with agents and researchers, who will keep detailed records of all 
anomalous events happening within SCP-333-J. Due to the high 
volume of transfer requests, no further agents will be stationed 
at SCP-333-J until further notice. 


Description: SCP-333-J is a bar called Skippy's Corner Pub, 
located ten miles west of , . Periodically, persons of various 
backgrounds and professions will be drawn into the bar to interact 
with either bar staff, patrons, or one another. Occasionally, various 
animals and objects have manifested to assist in these interactions. 
There seems to be no observable correlation between those 
affected to date, and the majority of affected persons have shown no 
ill effects due to exposure to SCP-333-J following their interaction 
with its effect. 


The following log is a record of various interactions observed within 
SCP-333-J. Researchers are encouraged to investigate further and 
add their own findings. 


Research Log 333-J 


Date: - - 


A man walks into the bar with a metal box under one arm 
and a duck under the other. The man walks up to the bar 
and says to the bartender, "If you give me a free bottle of 
beer I'll show you my dancing duck". The barman is 

surprised, but gives the guy a Bud and asks the bloke to 


show him the duck dancing. So the guy puts the metal 
box on the bar, and stands the duck on top of it. A few 
seconds later the duck starts to jump around, as if he's 
doing an Irish jig. 


Everyone in the bar is now watching this duck dancing, 
and the barman offers the guy $50 for the duck and the 
box. The bloke accepts, and the pub is filled day and 
night for 3 days with people watching the amazing 
dancing duck. 


So 3 days after he sold the barman the duck, the guy 
walks back in to the pub and sees his duck dancing on 
the box on top of the bar. 


The barman sees the guy and offers him a bottle of Bud 
on the house. As he gives the guy the Bud, the barman 
asks, "Could you tell me how you stop the duck from 
dancing on top of the box?" 


The man replies, "Oh that's easy, you just take the hot 
coals out." 


Notes: What a ducking travesty. -Agent 


Date: - - 


A pony walks into the bar and says, "Bartender, may | 
have a drink?" 


Bartender says, "What? | can't hear you. Speak up!" 
"May | please have a drink?" 

"What? You have to speak up!" 

"Could | please have a drink?" 


"Now listen, if you don't speak up | will not serve you." 


"I'm sorry, I'm just a little hoarse." 


Notes: Obviously, it was a shetland punny. -Agent 


Date: -- 


A blind man walks into the bar with a seeing-eye dog. 
When the blind man reaches the center of the bar, he 
snatches the dog up by his collar and starts swinging him 
around and around. 


The bartender speaks up and says, "Hey, what the hell 
are you doing?" 


The blind man says, "Just taking a look around." 


Notes: An insufferable booze hound. -Agent 


Date: - - 


A guy walks into the bar and sees a dog lying in the 
corner licking his balls. He turns to the bartender and 
says, "Boy, | wish | could do that." 


The Bartender replies, "You'd better try petting him first." 


Notes: / got nuttin' for that. -Agent 


Date: - - 


A guy walks into the bar with a newt on his shoulder and 
orders a drink. 


The Bartender says, "Nice pet, what's his name?" 
"His name is Tiny," the man replies. 


"Why do you call him that?" 
"Because, he's my newt." 


Notes: ... Agent 
Notes: Okay. That one's a little funny. Agent 


Date: - - 


An elderly man and woman enter the bar and ask the 
bartender for their usual drinks. 


The bartender serves them, speaking to the man, "Mr. 
Johnson, it's been awhile since we saw you last, how are 
you and your wife doing? We were worried about you, 
the last time you came in you didn't seem to recognize or 
remember anyone." 


The elderly gentleman responds, "Well, you know how it 
is when you start getting up in years... but I've been 
seeing a fantastic memory therapist. She's taught me 
some mental exercises that have helped me to 
remember all the important things in life." 


The bartender says, "That's great! What's the therapist's 
name?" 


The elderly gentleman looks confused before snapping 
his fingers, "What's that flower? The red one with thorns 
On its stem?" 

The bartender answers, "A rose?" 

"Yes, that's it," the older man smiles before turning to his 
wife, "Rose, what's the name of that therapist I've been 
seeing?" 

Date: - - 


A man walks into the bar. He has a seat, and the surly 


bartender stomps over and rudely asks the man what he 
wants. "Actually | don't want a drink", says the man. "I 
want to make a bet. | bet you fifty dollars | can lick my left 
eye." Confused, but knowing the improbability, the 
bartender says, "You're on!" The man proceeds to 
remove his glass eye and lick it. Angry but admitting 
defeat, the bartender pays him. 


"I'd like to make another bet," says the man. "| bet $100 | 
can bite my right eye." Knowing he couldn't possibly 
have two glass eyes, and wanting to win his money 
back, the bartender agrees. The man takes out his false 
teeth, then uses them to bite the other eye. Now really 
angry, the bartender gives him $100. The man then 
leaves the bartender alone and walks around the bar 
chatting it up and drinking with the other patrons. 


They all talk, drink, and share a huge laugh while the 
bartender stews about his lost money. The man staggers 
back and says, "Tell ya what, I'll bet you all the money | 
won, but DOUBLE, that | can pee in that shot glass from 
here without spilling a drop!" The bartender looks at the 
shot glass, which is a good 10 feet away, and knows for 
a FACT this cannot be done. He boldly replies, "Double? 
$300 and not a single drop outside the glass? You have 
a bet!" 


The man positions himself on the bar, unzips, then 
begins to urinate. The urine goes all over the bar, the 
counter, even the bartender himself. The bartender 
laughs and says, "All right, you lost fair and square, now 
pay up!" Calmly, the man pulls out $300 and hands it to 
the bartender. He goes around the bar talking to the 
patrons again, and comes back looking joyful. The 
bartender asks, "Why are YOU so happy? You just lost 
$300!" 


"Because | bet everyone else here $100 each that | 
could piss all over your bar, on your counter, even on 
you, and you wouldn't get mad."