In the event that SCP-3695 is lost in a body of water with a direct 
path to the Pacific Ocean, search teams are to converge around 
approximately 20°51'N 156°41'W, off the coast of Emily's Beach, 
Lahaina, Maui, Hawaii. A large orange identification wrap has been 
placed on SCP-3695 to aid in re-containment. 


Description: SCP-3695 is a surfboard that is capable of 
manipulating the currents of any body of water it is placed in. 
SCP-3695 will use water currents to propel itself through bodies of 
water towards the aforementioned location off the island of Maui. 
SCP-3695 appears to be capable of rudimentary pathfinding and will 
take detours in the event that the shortest path to Maui is not 
passable. 


In the presence of opposing water currents, SCP-3695 is capable of 
progressing towards Maui but may travel a different route. 
SCP-3695 has been prevented from reaching its final destination, so 
the specific location the object travels to is unknown. However, a 
likely candidate for the destination is detailed in Addendum 3695-2. 


Addendum 3695-1: On 2/18/2018, a research team attempted to 
pinpoint the location that SCP-3695 attempts to travel to. Using a 
tether attached around the center of mass of SCP-3695, the object 
was dragged at an angle 30° clockwise from the direction the object 
was pointing in. This allowed the research team to approach the 
destination of SCP-3695 without letting the object reach it. 


After narrowing down the location to within one kilometer, SCP-3695 
was retrieved and returned to storage. A diving team was deployed 
to determine the exact location within the search area, the results of 
which are detailed in Addendum 3695-2. 


Addendum 3695-2: On 2/25/2018, a diving team succeeded in 
finding a likely candidate for the location SCP-3695 attempts to 
travel to. An unidentified body was found on the ocean floor, 
covered in coral and various other sea life. Due to the containment 
protocols in place for SCP-3695, removing the corpse was not 
necessary. 


Foundation personnel that were sent to Maui showed various locals 
a picture of SCP-3695 and were able to confirm that the previous 
owner of the object was Connor Krain, a 24-year old male who used 
to be very active in the local surfing community but went missing ten 
years prior to the retrieval of SCP-3695. As Krain was determined 
not to have died in an anomalous manner, his parents were 
contacted through local authorities and notified of his passing. They 
requested that his remains stay where they are, as “that’s what he 
would have wanted”. 


SCP-3696: The Greatest Attractor 


SCP-3696's gravitational effect". 


Item #: SCP-3696 
Object Class: Keter 


Special Containment Procedures: Due to SCP-3696's distance, 
mass and size, any physical means of containing SCP-3696 using 
technology currently at the Foundation’s disposal is impossible. 
Implanted Foundation agents in major observatories and space 
programs are to contain images of SCP-3696, research data of its 
gravimetric effect2, as well as scientific theories which would cast 
doubt on the ongoing cover story. An ongoing misinformation 
campaign is in effect, currently aimed at perpetuating the existence 
of the Norma Cluster to ease compliance with current physics 
models. This campaign has thus far been able to completely 
suppress any knowledge pertaining to SCP-3696 from public 
awareness. 


The Foundation’s DEep spaCE anoMalous oBservER (DECEMBER) 
satellite is to monitor SCP-3696 from an Earth-trailing orbit and 
report all sudden activity regarding SCP-3696 to Foundation 
Observation Sites. 


Description: SCP-3696 is an intergalactic gravitational anomaly 
located at the center of the Laniakea Supercluster3. The anomaly’s 
position on Earth’s celestial sphere resides within the area of the sky 
which is obscured by the Zone of Avoidance. This makes SCP-3696 
currently impossible to directly observe due to the obscuring effects 
of the Milky Way’s galactic plane. As such, the properties of this 
anomaly were determined by noting its measurable effect on 
galactic clusters across a region of several hundred million light- 
years. 


Measurements taken of SCP-3696 suggest that it is a highly 


localized concentration of mass many thousands of times more 
massive than the Milky Way galaxy. Current physics models place 
such a mass-heavy physical structure as an impossibility. In 
addition, current gravitational models using data recorded by the 
Foundation’s ‘DECEMBER ’ satellite suggest that SCP-3696 is 
attracting the Milky Way’s galactic cluster towards it at a rate of 
7.1 Mm/s. 


Galactic clusters determined to be opposite SCP-3696 from the 
Milky Way’s are all blueshifted, in accordance with Hubble’s Law, 
indicating not only that they are approaching SCP-3696 relative to 
the Milky Way’s and to each other, but the variations in their 
blueshift are sufficient to reveal the existence of the anomaly. The 
variations in their blueshifts cover a range of velocities from about 
+700 km/s to +100 km/s, depending on the angular deviation from 
the direction to SCP-3696. Variation in velocity was also dependent 
on distance from SCP-3696, with arange covering m/sto 
5.1 Mm/s. Should the Milky Way follow this velocity trend, galactic 
as a result of SCP-3696’s gravitational influence is 
expected to occur in million years. 


Addendum-1a: 

SCP-3696 was first discovered by civilian astronomers in 198 

following a series of observations by X-Ray astronomer Dr. in 
, , the target of which appeared to violate the idea of uniform 

universal expansion. SCP-3696 has only continued to display 

properties which place it in stark opposition to conventional 

astrophysical theory. 


Addendum-2a: 

Following Event-3696-20 -09, it is imperative that the Norma Cluster 
cover story is upheld with the utmost priority. Efforts of Sites tasked 
with observing SCP-3696 is to be focused on recording any similar 
incidents, discern how SCP-3696 was able to an entire 
galaxy in just hours and develop methods to stop the process. 


[+] Event-3696-20 -09: Input Credentials 
Event-3696-20 -09 


Foundation Observation Sites: Hawaii, 


Atacama 
Foundation Satellites: DECEMBER 

/09/20 : 08:20 UTC - DECEMBER satellite 
records a steady growth of Cherenkov 
radiation coming from the area of space taken 
up by SCP-3696. Hawaii and Atacama 
Observation Sites (respectfully hereon referred 
to as HOS, AOS) alerted. 

/09/20 : 08:40 UTC - HOS relays 
confirmation of DECEMBER’s findings as 
background radiation levels spike. Cover story 
of a powerful gamma ray burst passing close 
to the stellar neighborhood prepared while 
observations of SCP-3696 continued. 

/09/20 : 08:50 UTC - AOS reports that the 
exact source of the radiation is a galaxy 
thousand light years from SCP-3696, hereon 
referred to as DW-8252. 

/09/20 : 09:10 UTC - HOS reports faint long- 
wavelength radiation trailing the Cherenkov 
surge. Several minutes later AOS announces 
that DW-8252 has dramatically blueshifted and 
is rapidly increasing in velocity. 

/09/20 : 09:30 UTC - After double checking 
their equipment for faults, AOS reports that 0. 
% of stars in DW-8252 have gone 


superluminal. 
/09/20 : 10:20 UTC - HOS confirms AOS’ 
report. 


/09/20 : 11:30 UTC - DECEMBER reports 
that background radiation levels have begun to 
stabilize at % above normal levels. 

/09/20 : 11:40 UTC - AOS reports that % of 
DW-8252’s stars have gone superluminal. 
HOS reports that considerable distortion of 
DW-8252 is visible. 

/09/20 : 11:50 UTC - The background radio 
wave has begun to blueshift. AOS begins 
analyzing signal. 

/09/20 : 12:20 UTC - A galactic arm of 


DW-8252 is reported to have flown apart. 

/09/20 : 13:50 UTC - HOS reports DW-8252 
has gone superluminal. Cherenkov radiation 
peaks. Galaxy is reported to have been 
thoroughly prior to Cherenkov spike. 
DECEMBER shows that stars remain. 
Background signal persists. 

/09/20 : 23:50 UTC - Remains of DW-8252 
is scattered across aregion of light years. 
Cherenkov radiation dissipates. Cover story 
released. Background signal weakens. 
Analysis of signal: Background signal was 
determined to consist of three pulses of 
powerful radio radiation on a repeating 
timescale of three seconds. The initial and final 
pulses were identical. The second pulse 
seemed to change after few repetitions of the 
signal. Signal abruptly self-terminated days 
after Event-3696-20 -09. 


Footnotes 

1. Red areas denote areas of high gravimetric intensity, blue 
denotes areas of weak gravitational interaction. SCP-3696 takes up 
most of the left side of the image, the Milky Way's Local Group is 
included in the center-right. 

2. See attached image file, strength is far in excess of even the most 
massive black holes. 

3. Contains the Milky Way and over 100,000 galaxies. 


SCP-3697: "Let Me Redirect You Right Now" 


Item #: SCP-3697 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3697 is to be monitored in 
order to prevent the spread of public awareness. Any callers are to 
be detained, interviewed about how they became aware of 
SCP-3697, and administered amnestics. Any public or online 
displays of SCP-3697's number are to be erased or monitored. 


Description: SCP-3697 is an anomalous toll-free telephone service 
accessed at the telephone number 1-690-69- . Approximately 
78% of individuals who call this number connect to a recording of 
the song "Never Gonna Give You Up" by Rick Astley, followed by a 
synthesized voice reading a web address leading to a html file [See 
Document 3697-1]. When this number is called by certain individuals 
who display sexually abusive or exploitative behavior!, SCP-3697's 
anomalous features manifest. 


When called by an individual displaying the previously-mentioned 
profile, SCP-3697 will feature a deep voice with a Brooklyn accent, 
seemingly taking the role of a telephone operator (SCP-3697-A). 
SCP-3697-A's speech is highly repetitive and nonresponsive to the 
caller's speech, indicating that it is an audio recording or other non- 
sapient construct. SCP-3697-A will begin with a set line of dialogue, 
with minimal variation [See Test Logs], followed by a unique audio 
file (SCP-3697-B). The audio files played on SCP-3697 range from 2 
seconds to two hours and 38 minutes long, and are typically 
recordings of nonsexual activities edited to trigger an autonomous 
sensory meridian response (ASMR) in the listener. The initial caller, 
even if they have not previously shown any response to similar 
audio, will express high levels of pleasure while listening to this 
audio file. Following the completion of the audio file, a three-second- 
long tone will play, followed by SCP-3697 hanging up. 


After exposure to SCP-3697-B, individuals immediately undergo a 
number of behavioral changes. The individuals demonstrate a 
complete absence of libido, as well as any interest in, or enjoyment 
of, sexual intercourse of any kind. Additionally, they will display 
increased interest in the activity recorded in SCP-3697-B, and derive 
pleasure from performing the activity directly. The affected 
individuals do not show any desire to involve others in this activity, 
and typically will not be aware that their behavior is changed or 
unusual unless it is pointed out to them. 


Selected Test Logs 


Subject: D-4927 

Subject Details: D-4927 was originally arrested and 
charged with attempted sexual assault. 

Subject Instructions: N/A 

Call Log: 


SCP-3697-A: Hello there, how can | help you? 
D-4927: Hello? 

SCP-3697-A: | think | know what you're 
looking for. Let me redirect you right now. 
D-4927: Excuse me? 

[SCP-3697-A does not respond. SCP-3697-B 
begins.] 


SCP-3697-B Instance: Audio of squishing and splashing 
noises. 

Post-Exposure Effects: D-4927 demonstrated the 
characteristic loss of sexual behavior in psychological 
tests performed immediately after exposure to 
SCP-3697-B. Subject displayed a fixation on mud and 
sewage, and attempted to reach through the drain of the 
interviewing chamber before being reprimanded. When 
given a container full of dirt, D-4927 immediately 
grabbed handfuls and spread it on surrounding surfaces, 
expressing pleasure. 

Notes: Electroencephalographic neural imaging 
performed on D-4927 has showed that interacting with 
mud was associated with high activation in regions, 


psychotropic drugs is to be prescribed in 
order to facilitate a more varied and 
stimulating dream state, as supervised 
by the Site-415 physician. 


Concurrent to language and dream 
transcription regimens, potential 
subjects are additionally required to 
undergo mental conditioning designed to 
maintain self-awareness and conscious 
thought throughout the sleep cycle, 
especially during REM sleep. 


A test subject is deemed fully prepared 
when able to demonstrate the ability to 
communicate the events of the dream- 
state they are experiencing, through the 
established Morse code finger tap 
modality, in 90% of attempted 
observations. Testing has determined 
that potential test subjects 
demonstrating this proficiency will have 
an approximate 75% success rate in 
communicating to researchers during an 
SCP-480 event. 


- Senior Researcher E. Moore 
+ Addendum 480-2 
Addendum 480-2: 

TO ALL SITE-415 STAFF 


In regard to the procedural inquiry after 
Incident 480-14 and the loss of Dr. Herrera, 
the Site-415 Ethics Committee has, by a vote 
of 4-3, adopted the staff recommendation that 
Foundation personnel affected by SCP-480 be 
maintained as test subjects for the duration of 
continued life function. 


including the ventral tegmental area, associated with 
pleasurable sensations. 


Subject: D-8726 

Subject Details: D-8726 was originally arrested and 
charged with possession of child pornography. 

Subject Instructions: Attempt to communicate with 
SCP-3697-A 

Call Log: 


SCP-3697-A: Hi there, how can | help you? 
D-8726: Hi, could you connect me to John 
Roth- 

[D-8726 is cut off by SCP-3697-A.] 
SCP-3697-A: | think | know what you're 
looking for. Let me redirect you right now. 
D-8726: Could you wait a second? 
[SCP-3697-A does not respond. SCP-3697-B 
begins.] 


SCP-3697-B Instance: Audio of what appears to be a 
human eating an orange. 

Post-Exposure Effects: D-8726 demonstrated the 
characteristic loss of sexual behavior in psychological 
tests performed immediately after exposure to 
SCP-3697-B. Subject showed a great interest in the 
consumption of oranges as well as media depicting the 
consumption of oranges, and requested access to 
recording equipment in order to produce their own audio 
recordings of this activity. 

Notes: Five days after testing, D-8726 was taken to the 
infirmary with severe gastrointestinal distress. D-8726 is 
estimated to have eaten an average of 23 oranges each 
day prior to being placed on a controlled diet. 


Subject: D- 

Subject Details: D- was originally arrested and 
charged with [REDACTED]. 

Subject Instructions: N/A 

Call Log: 


SCP-3697-A: Hi again, how can | help you? 

D- : What? 

SCP-3697-A: Oh, sorry about that. | think | 
know what you're looking for. Let me redirect 
you right now. 

[SCP-3697-B begins.] 


SCP-3697-B Instance: A recording of the song "Never 
Gonna Give You Up" by Rick Astley, followed by a 
synthesized voice reading a web address leading to 
Document 3697-1. When finished, SCP-3697-A's voice 
speaks the line "See you later. Congratulations on not 
being a pervert." 

Post-Exposure Effects: D- demonstrated no changes 
in behavior. 

Notes: Since testing, D- has successfully appealed 
their previous charges. In accordance with ethical 
regulations, their personal information and legal history 
has been sealed, and they have been transferred to a 
more appropriate project. 


Document 3697-1