Squad 9, currently stationed in Buenos Aires, Dockside, 
Warehouse 56, let alone turn you over to your superiors or any 
other faction who might be interested your horribly painful 
interrogation, is frankly insulting. Oh, and no hard feelings about the 
whole torture business, no worries. 


To the foreign fugitive Saturn Deer, 


This is your last chance to hand yourself in for the crimes you have 
committed against the Senate, the Republic and the People of 
Rome. By law and country, | find you guilty of: 


* Collaborating with the enemies of the Republic in a time of 
war 

Sacrilegiously taking the name of Saturn as your own 
Spreading false rumors and vile propaganda, besmirching the 
Republic's name 

Tempering with the lawful conduct of the election of 
magistrates, and seeking to sabotage the sanctity of the 
cursus honorum 

* Conducting experiments in the fields of chemistry, biology and 
physics without licence or membership in the Alexylva 
University 

Impersonating an Augur and delivering false and worrisome 
prophecies 

Handling a Gladius-Class submarine while intoxicated 
Seducing the daughters of the Republic with lewd suggestions 
Publicly befouling the statue of the Consul Publius Cornelius 
Scipio Aemilianus 

¢ Indecent exposure (as part of the aforementioned incident) 


These are not your only crimes, for those are beyond numbering, 
and beyond forgiveness. You are a blight, a vile blemish on the face 
of the Republic, but by the name of Clementia we are willing to give 
you your life if you confess to them and show honest repentance for 
what you have done. Submit yourself to our judgement, and you 
may live in exile. Stay hidden, and you will be hanged on the Field of 
Mars. Our experts from the University assured us that it is likely you 
will be able to see this message, for we invoked your full name. 


By the will of the Senate and the People of Rome, | am Preator 


Gaius Paullus Varro 


Oh no, not this again. You'd think that with a name like Saturn Deer, 
people wouldn't mistake me for someone else every five minutes. 
You reached the wrong Saturn, mate, or rather the right Saturn but 
from the wrong universe. Guess your University 'experts' could use 
some more time working on their quantum physics, and maybe a bit 
less time reading shit in animal guts. | mean, | might be into the 
whole reincarnation thing, but even I'm not old enough to have 
personally insulted the Roman Republic. My other-universe 
counterpart does sound like a totally rad dude though, so | think I'll 
take the liberty of replying in his name: 


Pedicabo ego vos, buddy. 


Oh, and screw your allcaps shit as well. | might be a dick, but even 
I'm not enough of one to make my readers suffer through a whole 
letter written like that. Next! 


To the receiver of this letter, 


If you do not forward this letter to ten other people before the moon 
passes the third ring, and add a naked picture of yourself if your'e 
attractive, you will be inflicted with a terrible curse! Your eyes will rot 
in your head, your ears will be forever sealed with wax, your tongue 
will be replaced with silly putty, your nostrils stuffed with Peanut 
M&Ms, and your pubic hair accosted by vultures. Heed my warning, 
for | am the great Saturn Deer, and my wrath is both swift and 
terrible! 


Huh. My old chain letter. Completely forgot about that one. Well, | 
better get to it then. Now where did | put that camera... 


Hello again, Mr. Deer 


Let me start by saying how much | appreciate you posting my letters 
in your column and answering them. | know my problems are small 
and banal, and you taking the time to try and help means the world 
to me. 


I'm writing again because this last week has been a bit strange. | 


was never the most popular guy at work, but it seems like my 
coworkers been ignoring me more than usual lately. It's probably 
nothing, but it still bothers me. My new neighbors on the other hand 
have been real friendly, maybe a bit too much so. They keep 
checking on me, asking if I'm okay, if |need anything. | hope they 
don't think I'm crazy or lonely something, and are just trying to be 
nice about it. Though, to be honest, | am lonely. That's nothing new 
though. So, to finally get to the point, | wanted to ask if you could 
recommend me some self-help books. I'm trying to work on myself a 
bit, and | figured you'd be the best person to ask about this sort of 
thing. Oh, and that recipe for rice squares was great, by the way. 


Thanks again, 
Zachery Knor 


Oh, hey there Zachery. Looks like my latest attempt didn't do 
anything either. Guess | shouldn't be surprised. Look, I'm going to 
tell you what | told you the last five times you wrote to me. Well, the 
last two times, since the first three were just me basically telling you 
to go fuck yourself. You don't have a job or a home anymore. Hell, 
you don't even have a name. Your coworkers have been ignoring 
you because they're not really there. You are held in a facility where 
people who don't have your best interests in heart are monitoring 
you 24/7. Those neighbors of yours? You're just a number to them. 
The saddest thing is, it's not even their fault. It's yours. The only 
thing keeping you in this situation are your own abilities, and there's 
nothing anyone can do to change that. | felt so sorry for you | 
actually tried to help, and it's beyond me. | can honestly say that it 
pains me to admit this, but there's no hope for you. You can't 
change, not ever. 


Oh, and I'm glad you liked that rice squares recipe, it was my 
mom's. 


Well... that got real fucking depressing real fast. Damn. 


| was going to share some of my grand visions with you, my dearest 
readers, but that last letter kinda took the fun out of it. Instead, let 
me leave you with something else, for now. A window. Give it a 
touch don't he shv 


Clicking never stopped being a thing, by the way. 


Now, | have no idea where this is going to take you. It might be 
somewhere you never visited before, or someplace really familiar. It 
might be terrifying, or heartwarming, or beautiful. Wherever it goes, 
just keep an open mind about it- you might find out something about 
yourself that never occurred to you before. Even if you don't, it could 
be fun. Go on, take a trip, and tell them Saturn Deer sent you. 


| get a percentage for that. 


| was Saturn Deer, and | bid ye adieu. 


Letting it go 


April 13th 2011 
| had just gotten back from a trip to the library when | spotted them. 


Your average person would just think it's a bunch of cops casing the 
area. A mix of uniformed and plainclothes ones running around. The 
higher ups in suits bossing around the grunts as they ran around, 
firearms open and ready for use. But | could see the signs. There 
wasn't any logo on any of them. Normal cops have a logos, 
whatever department they work for emblazoned on their badges. 
These guys had generic police badges. 


There was also the way they moved, a normal cop when locking 
down an area was looking for a perp. Someone needed to be 
caught, who might shoot them. These guys, however, were moving 
like they were looking for something more dangerous. Like a guy 
who could make you explode with their mind, yeah | could see the 
signs. These guys were Foundation. 


Part of me just wanted to roll my eyes and walk away. | hadn't been 
involved in three years. Just let them do their jobs, | had quit for a 
reason. But, you know, that damnable curiosity that had made me 
such a good agent back then still itched at me. 


In the end curiosity won out, and | approached the place. Of course, 
one of the uniformed guys spotted me. | kept walking as he 
approached, barely giving him a glance. 


"Excuse me." He said, "I'm afraid that we can't let you through." 


| shrugged it off, "How goes the search Agent?" | said with a slight 
commanding tone. 


"Err..." The agent stared at me for a moment, not really sure how to 
react. 


fucking time man! | still got my fingers. | don’t know how 
but my ma says it's because we are all just tough. Not 
the little ones she means. 


Dr. : You don't seem surprised. 


SCP-893: Fingers grow back, duh, lizard fingers grow 
back too. It's animals man. 


Dr. |: [REDACTED] 


SCP-893: No. Do your shit ese. My old job was balls. As 
long as I’m getting paid for this, man. Just make it so | 
don’t have to feel it when you take the pieces you know? 


Dr. : Look this document over. 


SCP-893: Nah just give me a pen and I'll sign. 


Addendum 893a: 

His eye and one of his limbs aren't growing back anymore. There 
are depressions in some patches of skin that don't seem to be 
changing either. | understand the value of this resource, but | 
request that further sampling of SCP-893 bodily tissue cease, he's 
it's starting to look like a potato. 


Dr. 
Request denied by Site Director 
Related Sites: Ssite-17 


« SCP-892 | SCP-893 | SCP-894 » 


"Well? We got ourselves some potentially dangerous anomaly out 
there and you're wasting your time chatting me up? | guess the 
search is going well then." 


"Err, no Ma'am..." The poor kid said, clearly taken aback. 


"Well then get back to work!" | snapped, and the fake cop nodded 
meekly and ran off to go find his own ass or something. 


Now that one of them had chatted me up and let me go, the rest of 
them just assumed | belonged. Pretty easy, you know? It's actually 
pretty funny. Like all agents, when | started | was given a primer on 
covert field work. Lesson one was ‘Act like you belong and most 
won't question you.'Every agent gets that lesson, and yet it still 
works! 


The area cordoned off was a pretty big park, agents were running 
through the place. Hiking around and shouting orders. | saw 
forensics guys taking samples and a few field scientists making 
some obscure measurements. Now let's see, | bet the science guys 
will be talking about whatever things here... 


"Allison?" 
Shit. 


| turned around and give the guy saying my name a big smile. "Well 
hey, how's things Jackie?" 


Jackson Garcia had his arms folded as he gives me that ever so 
familiar look. The one he often gave me when | dragged him into 
doing something dumb and we got reprimanded afterwards. "What 
the hell are you doing here Allison?" 


"Nobody here has told me to leave." | answered honestly, giving him 
my best innocent little girl smile. 


Jackie, of course, was one of the plainclothes guys. "Allison, you 
know full well that civilians are restricted from Foundation recovery 
points." 


"Yeah yeah." | said, "Are you going to take me in? Interrogate me? 


Hell, maybe this'll be the last straw that convinces the higher ups I'm 
worth the cost of amnesiacs." 


Jackie rolled his eyes, "You're not worth the trouble really." 


Right, we knew how it'd go. I'd tell my story about being Ex- 
Foundation and just a little curious about whatever thing they're 
catching here. Show my credentials and reaffirm | have no interest 
in exposing some crazy skip to the world or setting free whatever 
Dark God is being sealed forever this week or whatever. Then they'd 
let me go, maybe ask for some advice if whatever they're hunting | 
knew about. 


| mean, I'm sure a lot of you guys have heard that working for the 
Foundation means You're There Forever. But that really isn't true, 
once | decided it wasn't for me | simply turned in my papers, let my 
contract run out, and was let go with the knowledge that as long as | 
didn't blab anything they'd leave me alone. Well I'm not really 
interested in blabbing. Instead I've been enjoying the hilariously 
generous retirement packages. Seriously they give you so much for 
a mere five years work because being a field agent means there's a 
risk of something biting your head off, and | worked for eleven! 


"So how's the family?" | asked. 


He gave me a look saying 'Really?' before naturally answering, 
"Mom's been pestering me, trying to get me to go to church more 
often, and set me up on some dates." 


"Isn't God locked up?" 

"| doubt 343 is actually God, Allison." 

| shrugged, "Well, tell her | said hi next time you talk to her." 

"Right, fine. She did like you, after all." Jackie said. 

"So," | changed the subject, "What exactly attracted you guys here?" 
"You really think I'm going to tell you?" He said. 


"Well you haven't thrown me out yet, so | figure you still like me 


enough to talk to me, and if you answer then | can leave you alone 
with my curiosity sated." 


Jackie let out another long sigh, he's always been bad at saying no 
to people. "Fine. We got reports about impossible animals in the 
town." 


"Like?" 

"Unicorn Tigers, birds the size of a bear, that sort of thing." He said. 
"So what, a tiger with a unicorn horn on its head?" 

"Basically." 

"So why not send in Animal Control?" | asked. 


"Two reasons. First, the animals leave no physical trace. A bright 
blue elephant stomped through streets and didn't leave a footprint. 
They can get caught on film, but there's no other evidence they exist 
once they vanish." Jackie reached into his pocket, pulling out a 
printed out photo, "Second, we caught this on film." 


| took the picture, there were two things in it. The first was the titular 
Unicorn Tiger, exactly as | imagined it. The second... was a girl, 
around twelve from the looks of it, petting the thing. 


"So," | said, "You think girl's the one responsible for the animals." 
"Yeah." He said, "At the very least she's a person of interest." 


There was a silence between us before | sighed and folded the 
picture back up. 


"Ally..." Jackie started saying before | shoved the picture back into 
his hands. 


"No no, it's fine.” | said, "I get it. Secure, Contain Protect, right?" 
"Yeah, it's not always the greatest job." He said. 


"So, thanks Jackie.” | said, my smile coming back. "I guess I'll leave 


you to your search now. Good luck in finding it." | waved to him, 
walking further into the park. 


The girl was obviously in the park, the Foundation had probably 
already locked down the rest of the place. As | walked around her 
parents were being questioned, asked if anything strange was going 
on with her daughter. 


They'd spring the cost of amnesiacs for them, of course. Give them 
some job at "Sane & Profitable Functions" or something, let them 
move out of state and while they forget they ever had a daughter. 


Still, | had to admit, this girl was pretty good, if she was able to hide 
here with dozens of agents on the look out for her. 


So animals appear, but they don't effect anything. 
The little girl can interact with them... 


My mind was putting together the pieces, | knew that there was no 
way there weren't others thinking about it. 


She's around things that don't actually exist. 


If | was a little girl with strange powers trying to hide, where would | 
go? There's no way they weren't combing everywhere. The 
perimeters of the park no doubt have motion sensors around, and | 
highly doubt she has any means of bypassing them. 


Well, unless she's a Type Green, but if that's the case we'd better 
hope she doesn't figure that out any time soon. 


Agents were looking under every rock and bush. | heard some 
scientists considering just digging the park up. See if she had some 
mole dig a hole or something. 


Honestly, | bet Jackie's already figuring it out, so I'd better hurry. 


If you want to hide from them, you need to do it in plain sight. Some 
port-a-potties had been set up for the agents. They're pretty big and 
comfy, you know, for giant plastic septic tanks. There are three of 

them, | opened one, looked inside, opened the next, peeked in, and 


opened the last one. 


From the looks of it, my theory was right. | opened up the second 
one and step in. The inside was completely mundane, a small box 
with a toilet and hand sanitizer dispenser. Completely unremarkable, 
no?