“Yeah, you could kill me, but the door is still locked. You won't be 
able to get out without your magic, and you can take my word when 
| tell you they made this buoy damn near indestructible. You won't 
be able to open a portal because this cell is soundproof, and | know 
that that rather unusual Multi-Universal Transit Array you have 
requires calliope music to work. So, you’ve got two options. You can 
let me handcuff the buoy to you and let me take you to the truck | 
got waiting, or you can try to kill me. | might kill you, and my buyer 
will still pay a decent sum for your corpse, or you'll kill me, which 
might make you feel better, but you'll be trapped in here and by 
dawn you'll have your very own SCP designation. Tick tock darling, 
time’s of the essence.” 


Icky remained still as she tried to think of a way out her situation, 
when to her surprise Virtuoso started laughing. 


“Soundproof?” he asked smugly. “There’s no such thing. Icky, plug 


your ears.” 


A maniacal smile spread across her face, knowing exactly what he 
was going to do. As soon as her ears were plugged, Virtuoso did 
what he had been made to do, what he had spent nearly every 
moment of his life doing. 


He sang. 


“Those who have seen your face 
Draw back in fear 
lam the mask you wear.” 


His voice was over a hundred decibels, instantly activating Suthers’ 
ear protection. 


“It’s me they hear,” Icky joined the duet, though her voice was hardly 
as ear shattering. 


“| told you idiots that’s not going to work, do you see what’s on my 
fucking head?” 


“My Spirit and my Voice 
In one combined 


The Phantom of the Opera is there 
Inside my mind.” 


Icky and Virtuoso sang together, Virtuso’s voice rising in volume. 
“Beware the Phantom of the Opera,” Icky smiled. 

“He’s there, the Phantom of the Opera,” Virtuoso sang. His lyrics 
exhausted, he vocalized his high note, his voice rising over 150 
decibels. 


“Sing my Angel of Music!” 


His voice grew louder, and though Suthers could not hear him, he 
could feel his eyes vibrate. He tried to shoot at him, but the barrage 
of sound waves prevented him from shooting straight. 


“Sing my Angel. Sing for me!” 


His voice had now surpassed the capacity of the guard’s 
headphones to protect him. He dropped his gun to the ground and 
instinctively clasped his head as his eardrums burst. 


“Sing my Angel!” 
The very ground around them now shook with vibrations. 
“Sing.” 


The guard screamed in agony as his organs were assaulted with 
sound, but of course his screams could not be heard over the 
warbling voice of the Virtuoso. 


“Sing, my Angel, Sing!” 


Now even the soundproof door holding them captive started to 
tremble, and Virtuoso could sense its resonant frequency. 


“Sing for me!” 


With one final high note, the sound of Virtuso’s voice became a 
shockwave, perfectly matched to the resonant frequency of the door. 
The guard’s lungs ruptured, killing him, and the door shattered like 
glass. 


“That was amazing!” Icky screamed, hugging Virtuoso fanatically. 


“Not so loud; you'll hurt my ears,” he replied with a coy smile. Icky 
fell to the ground laughing. 
“You are alright, aren’t you?” 


“Some slight ringing, but nothing some Milk won’t fix. Let’s get out of 
here.” 


She headed for the door, but bent down on her way to pick up the 
Scranton Reality Mini-Buoy. 


“Wow, he wasn’t kidding when he said this thing was tough. Might 
come in handy.” 


She pocketed the orb, and took out her Kaleidoscope keys. Within 


seconds she had converted the doorway into a portal. The space 
within the frame glowed a bright white and exuded smoke, while the 
calliope could be heard playing Comrades of the Legion. \t was 
appropriate, as Icky was feeling quite victorious. 


She ran back to Virtuoso, scooping him up in her arms. 


“How does your own acoustic tent sound, so that you won't have to 
strain to be heard over the pandemonium of the Circus?” 


“Music to my ears,” he smiled. 


Stepping over the corpse of their treacherous informant, SCP-1860 
left the Foundation, and Virtuoso returned to Herman Fuller’s Circus 
of the Disquieting. 


Early the next morning, things were tense in the Ringmaster’s tent. 
On one side of the desk was Icky, Lolly, Virtuoso, Manny, and Mr. 
Noodles in case things turned violent. On the other side was an 
elderly and decrepit man in the best wheel chair money could buy, 
with catheters conveying fluids to and from multiple medical ports. 
He was outfitted with a bespoke grey suit and a nasal breathing 
tube. Despite his enfeebled body, the stern and attentive face he 
wore made it clear that he still retained full command of his mental 
faculties. 


To either side of him stood two uncommonly beautiful women, a 
nurse and a PA, and behind them stood two uncommonly large 
men, his body guards. Victor was there as well, sitting quietly by his 
boss’s side, looking like he hadn’t had any sleep all night. 


"Can | offer you some Milk?" Lolly asked sweetly, holding up the 
bottle of viscous black liquid. The Guards responded by drawing 
their weapons. 


"Lolly," Manny scolded her through his teeth. 


"Right, sorry. | can be a bit of a ditz sometimes," she said in a less 
than convincing tone. Suppressing a smile, Icky handed her 
playmate some Clown Impulse Suppressant, which she 


begrudgingly swallowed, chasing the two purple pills down with Milk. 


“Mr. Marshall... wait, are you Marshall?” Icky asked. “I Know you’re 
not Dark, so | guess there’s a fifty/fifty chance you’re Marshall. You 
look like a Marshall anyway. 

“As | was saying, Mr. Marshall or Mr. Carter but definitely not Mr./ 
Ms. Dark, there was really no need for you to come here personally. 
As | explained to Victor over the phone...” 


“| decided it was best that we clear this up face to face, to make sure 
that there are no misunderstandings,” Marshall or Carter but 
definitely not Dark said, his ageing voice still loud and clear. “This 
was supposed to be a simple in and out operation, but somehow 
you fucked it up!” 


“Mr. Marshall...” 


“One of our SCP operatives is dead, his internal organs liquified by 
your pop star, and | want to know why!” he shouted, his heartbeat 
monitor beeping noticeably faster. 


“| told Victor already, your man had us at gun point! He had a buyer 
he was going to sell me to. He was going to double cross both of 
us.” 


“| have nothing but your word for that.” 


“Why else would he even have been down there? He was supposed 
to have sedated himself so that Essie wouldn't know it was an inside 
job.” 


“Who knows? Maybe something changed at the last minute and he 
couldn’t get a message out, so he went down to tell you personally. 
Maybe your freak got spooked and killed him.” 


“Sir, with all due respect, we should be the ones mad at you,” Manny 
objected. “We nearly lost one of our most essential personnel 
because your disgruntled employee decided to moonlight in human 
trafficking!” 


“Manny, don’t blow the situation out of proportion,” Icky said. “Even 
without Virtuoso, | probably could’ve gotten away on my own, and if 


not then you would have come for me sooner or later. Mr. Marshall/ 
Carter/not Dark, | understand why you’re upset and suspicious. | 
would be too if the situation was reversed. You’re down a man, and 
you’re right that | can’t prove my version of events is what 
happened. | know that you don’t care about the loss of life so much 
as you Care about the loss of a resource, so let me make it up to 
you. We could put on a free private show for you. Remember that 
time when we had one of our acrobats tear himself apart and then | 
put him back together? Your guests loved that! It will be great, plus 
Lolly could meet Iris and Robert and Skittles. They’re both named 
after candy, so that’s an instant conversation starter.” 


“His name is Skitter,” the wheelchair bound man said gruffly. 


“Right. Could | interest you in a pink elephant then? She’s cute, she 
blows bubbles, her drinking is almost under control, | swear.” 


“We'll let you use the Kaleidoscope,” Manny said. 
“What?” the old man asked, a rapacious gleam in his eyes. 


“We were going to take you to the Utterly Bazaar anyways. We 
would be willing to escort Victor, and only Victor, on low risk 
excursions to other extra-dimensional locations for the foreseeable 
future. That’s worth more to you than one SCP operative and you 
know it.” 


The old man nodded with a sly smile. 
“This is something you would be willing to provide?” he asked Icky. 


“You will do anything to keep that drunken elephant,” she muttered 
at Manny. “But sure, | don’t see a problem with that. But we decide 
where’s safe and where’s not, and no hurting or stealing from 
innocent people.” 


“You insult me Madam Clown,” the old man said facetiously. “Victor, 
what do you think?” 


“Um...based on my admittedly short time working with Fuller’s 
Circus, | don’t believe they would try to deceive us. If Icky says that 
she killed our operative in self-defence, | believe her. Our business 


relationship profits us both, and it would be foolish to ruin it over an 
incident that was no fault of theirs. | would also be willing to 
participate in additional extra-dimensional business calls through 
their Kaleidoscope, on the condition that my commission be raised 
to fifth tier.” 


“I'll give you fourth tier, and only if you make quota,” his boss 
barked. 


“That’s acceptable,” Victor nodded. 


“So everything between us is squared then?” Manny asked. The old 
man gave a begrudging nod. 


“Porsha.” 


At his prompting, his aide retrieved a box of chocolates from her 
satchel. 


“Marshall, Carter, & Dark Limited would like to formally apologize for 
any implied or explicit accusations of misconduct we may have 
made against any members of your organization. Please accept this 
limited anniversary addition Choc is Chic assortment box by La 
Maison du Chocolat as a token of goodwill on our behalf.” 


“Mine!” Lolly said, snatching it eagerly. 
“If there’s nothing further?” the old man asked. Manny turned to Icky. 


“| trust that after what happened last night, you won't be wanting to 
try this again?” he asked. 


“Well, | mean Amelia's head is just lying around in a vault. It would 
be so easy to...” she stopped when she saw the cold glare Manny 
was giving her. “Okay, fine, we’re done. All the floating roadkill is 
probably a health code violation anyway. Mr. not Dark, it was a 
pleasure doing business with you and we look forward to doing 
business with you in the future.” 


“As do |. Rosalind, wheel me out.” 


“Wait!” Lolly said as Victor rose from his seat to accompany his boss 


and his entourage. “Virtuoso was going to sing just for us to 
celebrate. Victor, would you please stay and listen? We never would 
have gotten him back without you.” 


| ” 


“Stay,” his boss ordered. “You look like shit, and | can’t have you 
showing up at the office like that. We’ve got an image to maintain. 
Besides, you've got to keep your new most important client happy.” 


“Yes sir,” Victor nodded, sitting back in his chair. Lolly sat beside 
him, offering him some of her chocolates. 


As the nurse turned the wheelchair around, she revealed a 
shrivelled, emaciated human strapped to the back of the chair who 
was literally having the life sucked out of them. They stared at the 
Circus folk with pleading eyes until they were wheeled out of the 
tent. 


“That was very nearly a disaster,” Manny said with a shake of his 
head. 


“| don’t care,” Icky smiled, wrapping her arms around Virtuoso. “I got 
my friend back.” 


“Well V, I’m going to have to have the audio techs put some 
emergency noise cancelling speakers around you in case you get a 
tear, but | am glad you’re back,” Manny said. “You're a classy act, 
we need more of that around here.” 


“Thank you sir.” 
“Oh, can you sing Disney songs?” Lolly asked hopefully. 
“He’s not singing Disney songs,” Manny objected. 


“| don’t know, | think certain Disney songs might be compatible with 
his stage persona,” Icky suggested. “Let /t Go for instance. Maybe 
Whole New World, songs like that.” 


“Fine, but if | hear him singing Hakuna Matata someone’s getting 
their printer access revoked.” 


favorite music. 

Artist Profile: M D_ did not invent the fart joke, but he certainly 
improved on it. Associated with such names as Adam Sandler and 
Bill Hicks, M D_ has been featured on such shows as Saturday 
Night Live and MadTV for his talents in stand-up and comic song. 
M D_ wrote and directed the 20 summer flop "[REDACTED] 
Movie", unanimously rated as the "Worst Movie of All Time". 

Music Results: Mostly low-brow stand-up and lewd acoustic guitar 
songs. Most tracks concern typical family problems, bodily functions, 
sex, and politics. Subject was visibly angry at the results. 

Subject Comments: Not funny... 


Note: It seems SCP-624 isn't limited to specific genres of music, but 
the scope of the listener's imagination. Again, | am to remind all Site 
personnel that all access to SCP-624 is strictly for experimental 
purposes only, and that SCP-624 is not to be played in the Site 

break room... for now... -Dr. Z 


Note: Dr. Z , | think you mean, "is not to be played in the Site 
break room ever, and under the penalty of demotion if you do." -Dr. 
D_, Level 4 Security 


Subject: AgentE  . It should be of note that Agent E _ partook in 
the original test of SCP-624 and has since gotten into rap music. 
Artist Profile: East coast and west coast collide, forming E-Dizzle! 
E-Dizzle is the first rapper to not only tour with Tupac Shakur and 
Biggie Smalls, but united the now-duo for their first tour in 2002. E- 
Dizzle helped discover and produce for rapper Eminem. Much 
mystery surrounded E-Dizzle's death in 20 , but his legacy still lives 
on. 

Music Results: Music consisted of a strange new form of rap, listed 
under the genre "Hybrid Coast," mixing west coast funk synths and 
east coast orchestras. Two hundred and eight (208) of the four 
hundred and six (406) tracks contain guest rappers, most of whom 
are rivals or dead in this timeline. Subject initially pleased with 
results, only to learn the date of his death is the same from the 
previous test. 

Subject Comments: "Seriously, if you guys could just let me take 
this outside and blast this over my car speakers-... Hold on. What 


“Mr. Noodles, go guard the door. No one comes in until | say so,” 
Icky ordered. 


The tall Clown did as he was told, and the others gathered on one 
side of the desk, where Manny had placed Virtuoso as a makeshift 
pedestal. Virtuoso looked down at the small but eager audience in 
front of him, and at the Clown who had still remembered him after so 
many years. Returning her smile, he spoke the same two words he 
had first sooken to her when she was still a mere mortal. 


“Any requests?” 


« Your Call Is Important To Us | Dread & Circuses Hub | Freaky 
Commodities II ~ Freak Harder » 


Freaky Commodities II: Freak Harder 


« She Remembered Me | Dread & Circuses Hub | There Are No 
Strings On Me » 


“So, here we are again,” the Man with the Upside-down Face said 
as the elevator doors slid shut. “You know, when Burgess did this he 
had security guards.” 


“They’re needed upstairs. |... may have left a Sarkist and a 
Mekhanite together in the same room,” Victor replied with an 
awkward cough, pressing the button for the desired floor. “Besides, 
you two | trust.” 


“Awww, that’s so sweet,” Lolly cooed as the elevator began its 
ascent. “I’m so excited, this is like getting a new puppy!” 


“We’re not getting a puppy, we’re getting a new attraction for the 
Circus,” Manny reminded her firmly. “Remember that. It’s not just 
about whether or not you like something. It has to be a good fit for 
us.” 


“Relax, no one loves the Circus more than | do. No one loves Icky 
more than | do either, and | would never let her down.”