Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2280 is kept ina 
dedicated paddock measuring 1 km? in area at Biological Research 
Area-12, surrounded by a 10 m buffer zone. This paddock is fenced 
in by 4 m tall reinforced concrete walls with infrared cameras 
mounted every 10 m along the periphery. Automatic watering and 
supplemental feed troughs are provided for the use of SCP-2280. All 
other care needs, including veterinary care, are to be handled via 
telepresence robots. 


No vertebrate animal is allowed within 8 m of SCP-2280 outside of 
experimentation. Should any animal become affected by 
SCP-2280's properties, attempts will be made to retrieve the body 
before SCP-2280 can finish consuming it. Should these attempts 
fail, fluoroprotein fire suppression foam must be sprayed over 
SCP-2280 beginning 5 minutes prior to the following sunrise until the 
final effect has ceased. 


Description: SCP-2280 is an adult female Bos taurus whose 
tissues absorb 100% of all electromagnetic radiation with 
wavelength between 370 nm and 770 nm’. This results in 
SCP-2280 appearing as a pure black silhouette from any angle, 
without visible details. Aside from this and the additional anomalous 
properties described below, SCP-2280 is genetically and functionally 
identical to a non-anomalous cow, including diet and thermal 
signature. 


If any vertebrate animal weighing more than 2 kg comes within 

5.25 m of SCP-2280, there is an approximately 50% probability that 
it will become neuromuscularly paralyzed. If this occurs, SCP-2280 
will approach the paralyzed animal and consume it in no more than 
1.5 hours, despite being otherwise herbivorous. For creatures which 


are too large for SCP-2280 to swallow whole, it will use its hooves 
and incisors to separate soft tissues from the skeletal system into 
bite-sized chunks, as well as break or crush overly large bony 
structures into more readily-consumable sizes. 


The following sunrise, SCP-2280 will go into labor and give birth to 
an instance of SCP-2280-1, an animal of identical morphology to the 
consumed animal, with the exception that it emits light at 100,000 
lux equally along the entire wavelength spectrum of 370-770 nm. 
Approximately 95% of SCP-2280-1 instances are stillborn, and their 
luminence rapidly decreases to the point that they are observably 
identical to the animal that SCP-2280 had consumed. SCP-2280 will 
ignore these instances, which can be retrieved for later analysis. 
The remaining 5% of SCP-2280-1 will immediately rise after being 
born and move to suckle from SCP-2280, regardless of the species 
of their originating animal. After suckling for no more than 15 
minutes, the instance of SCP-2280-1 will move away from 
SCP-2280, increase temperature to more than 1000 C° within 0.4 
seconds, and jump directly upwards. It will then accelerate upwards 
at approximately 37 m/s? before abruptly vanishing 1.7 km above the 
ground. 


Instances of SCP-2280-1 resulting from D-class personnel have not 
responded to communication attempts, but have been heard 
mumbling in an unknown language. Linguistic analysis has not 
succeeded in translating their soeech, but have noted similarities to 
languages in the Afroasiatic family, particularly Coptic Egyptian. 


Footnotes 

1. Encompassing the visible light spectrum. 

2. Use ofSCP-3223-1as a potential translator is currently pending 
review. 


« SCP-2279 | SCP-2280 | SCP-2281 » 


SCP-2281: Backseat Driver 


Item #: SCP-2281 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2281 has been 
disengaged from the rest of the Interstate Highway System through 
a Foundation-instigated landslide. U.S. Route 50 has been rerouted 
roughly 10 kilometers north of SCP-2281. 


The property has been surrounded by a warehouse complex under 
the front company "Security Construction Programs" which is 
designated Containment Sector-77. Due to the stability of 
SCP-2281, once per year MTF-y-7 "Home Improvement" 
stages a high-level training on this property, and personnel within 
Containment Sector-77 should consult their Level 3 supervisor as to 
their instructions during that time. SCP-2281 currently has no 
research projects associated with it. 


Description: SCP-2281 is a 1.2 km stretch of road which was 
formerly a part of U.S. Route 50. SCP-2281 is located near Delta, 
Utah and contains a steep turn with little warning. Irregular auditory 
anomalies occur in vehicles which travel along SCP-2281 at a speed 
higher than the previously posted speed limit of 60 miles per hour 
(approximately 97 kilometers per hour). 


Auditory anomalies manifest in the rear seat on the driver's side of 
vehicles. Initially this manifests as a request for vehicle operators to 
slow their vehicles to comply with the posted speed limit. 
SCP-2281's effect, however, triggers irregularly. Manifestations tend 
to occur more frequently in situations that involve circumstances 
which impair driver performance. Heightened levels of occurrence 
have been shown to correlate to nighttime driving, driving in difficult 
weather conditions, and driving while intoxicated. 


Prior to discovery, SCP-2281 was noted by the Utah Department of 


Transportation to have statistically higher accident rates than similar 
roads, with records indicating an elevated accident rate as early as 
1928. A Foundation agent passing through the area on December 
8th, 1984 experienced SCP-2281's effect, and began enacting 
containment. Containment Sector-77 has been considered to be 
fully operational since September 18th, 1985, and SCP-2281 has 
been classified as Safe since that time. 


Addendum 2281-A: On 01/22/2003, Foundation 
personnel were able to communicate with SCP-2281. 
Further interviews were infrequent and yielded little 
additional information, and testing was subsequently re- 
terminated. 


Interviewed: SCP-2281 
Interviewer: Agent Boyd 


Foreword: Log recorded while Agent Boyd was driving a 
Foundation vehicle on SCP-2281 


<Begin Log> 
SCP-2281: Slow down! 
Agent Boyd: Who are you? 


SCP-2281: I'm the guy telling you to slow down. This is 
my road. 


Agent Boyd: Can you state your identity? 
SCP-2281: |'m the boss. Hey! | said slow down! 
Agent Boyd: Well, what do you call yourself? 


SCP-2281: Well, | used to be a forest boss back when 
there were trees here, but now I'm the highway boss. 


Agent Boyd: From where do those names originate? 


SCP-2281: Where do any names come from? I've 


always had it. The little guys used to live in the forest, so 
| was the forest boss. Then they got rid of the forest and 
put this road down. So that makes me the highway boss. 
| used to be the boss of the people in the forest, now I'm 
the boss of the people in the cars. And | told you to slow 
down! 


Agent Boyd: Why do you talk to the drivers who go 
down this road? 


SCP-2281: | used to give advice to the forest guys. But 
then they got rid of the forest. Took a while but 
eventually Denton told me what to do to be a good 
highway boss here. There's a sharp curve coming up, 
ease off the gas pedal lady. 


Agent Boyd: Who is Denton? 


SCP-2281: Trooper Denton? He told me how dangerous 
this road was, and he's not wrong. You wouldn't believe 
how many car crashes I've had to watch. But he said that 
it would be a civic duty to try and help people out instead 
of hanging around being creepy. | felt like an idiot cause 
he was so right. Anyway that's what I'm up to these days. 
What about you? Are you from out of state? Just passing 
through? 


Agent Boyd: Why do you stay on this road? 


SCP-2281: Don't got time for that one. We're coming up 
on the edge now. Why don't you go talk to Denton? From 
the look of things you'll get over to him pretty quick, 
right? 


Agent Boyd: Thank you for your cooperation. 
SCP-2281: Sure thing, miss. Be safe. 


Addendum 2281-B: Subsequent investigation 
revealed a Highway Patrolman named Calvin 
Denton had formerly worked along this route, 


but he had been killed in a traffic collision while 
off-duty in 1999. 


LEVEL 3 ACCESS REQUIRED 


Addendum 2281-C: On 06/14/2009, Foundation agents 
discovered that Calvin Denton had not been killed in 
1999. This discovery was made after Mr. Denton entered 
Foundation custody following his participation as an 
agent in an operation opposing Foundation interests. 
This interview was taken after his capture. During his 
custody, Mr. Denton attempted to alert Foundation 
personnel as to the existence of SCP-2281, and was not 
aware of its current containment procedures. 


Interviewed: Calvin Denton [GOC Agent] 
Interviewer: Agent Aaron Ekblad 


Foreword: Interview took place within 
Sector-85. 


<Begin Log> 
Agent Ekblad: Hello, Mister Denton. 
Calvin Denton: Afternoon, | think. 


Agent Ekblad: Are you aware of why you are 
being questioned today? 


Calvin Denton: | am. 


Agent Ekblad: What is your relationship with 
the anomaly classified as SCP-2281 ? 


Calvin Denton: It's how | found out about 
the... veil? Whatever you wanna call it. | was 
driving down the Interstate, and it just started 
talking to me one day. It said he was just 
around and wanted to talk. 


Agent Ekblad: You communicated with the 
entity? 


Calvin Denton: Multiple times. The first few | 
was kinda bewildered, but after the third time | 
said if | found it again, I'd tell it to do something 
constructive. 


Agent Ekblad: What did you do? 


Calvin Denton: There'd been a lot of 
accidents on this road for a long time, so | told 
him that he should try and do something about 
it, since it was a pretty dangerous stretch of 
road. 


Agent Ekblad: Were you aware of the object's 
properties? 


Calvin Denton: | just knew that the thing could 
talk to me at will, and it seemed to be invisible. 
Thought it might've been the big guy, but | 
know better now. 


Agent Ekblad: Why didn't you report this to 
the GOC when they hired you? 


Calvin Denton: Well, you know how we do 
our business. | just... you know, it was the first 
thing | ever found, before any of this ever 
happened. And it was mostly harmless! Didn't 
do anything to anyone. It's just... sentiment, | 
guess. I'm pretty glad to hear that you guys 
have a hold of him, though. | guess he'll be 
Okay. 


<End Log> 


Closing Statement: Following this interview, 
and pursuant to previous agreements with the 
GOC, Calvin Denton was released from 


Foundation custody. Though the subject has 
since continued his work with the GOC, he has 
been noted as an especially promising 
candidate for Foundation recruitment. 


« SCP-2280 | SCP-2281 | SCP-2282 » 


from hard candy. Candy similar in taste and texture to Pez; 
packaging in French. 


Money entered: 700 yen 
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered 
Item description: Human Breast Milk (Chocolate Flavored) - Very 


sweet. Dr. reported a sensation of nostalgia. Nothing unusual 
about the quality of the milk beyond its packaging. Small label in 
Japanese. 


"| think the boob-shaped container was a nice touch." - Dr. 


Money entered: 1000 yen 

SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered 

Item description: Build-Your-Own Candybots - A small bag 
containing various mixed parts that could be assembled in different 
ways to create tiny, candy robots. Once completed, candy robots 
began to move on their own for approximately two minutes, walking 
about aimlessly and bumping into things. Very sweet. Packaging in 
unknown language. 


Money entered: 500 yen 

SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered 

Item description: SCP-417 Fruit - Room was evacuated briefly 
before the item (in airtight packaging) was sent to be incinerated. 
Packaging in unknown language. 


Money entered: 100 yen 

SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered 

Item description: Suppository - Item was not used. Tests run later 
revealed mint flavoring and a high nutritional value. Packaging in 
unknown language resembling Greek, complete with diagram of how 
to use. 


Money entered: 700 yen 

SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered 

Item description: Bacon Shirt - A simple T-shirt, dark red in color, 
in plastic packaging, unknown language. A test revealed the shirt to 
be edible, wearable, and with a taste similar to bacon. No side 
effects from wearing the shirt, beyond a vague smell of bacon. 


Money entered: 1000 yen 


SCP-2282: Goat. 


Item #: SCP-2282 
Object Class: Neutralized (Formerly Euclid) 


Special Containment Procedures: (Former. SCP-2282 is now 
deceased.) SCP-2282 is to be kept under the care of the Area-12 
Parazoology Department in an outdoor enclosure. SCP-2282 should 
never come closer than a distance of one hundred meters (100 m) 
to any structure or tree. SCP-2282 is to have appropriate 
maintenance for a domestic goat. 


Description: SCP-2282 is a female young mammal of a unique 
subspecies closely related to Capra aegagrus hircus, classified as 
C. a. spatium. SCP-2282 is of normal size and externally identical to 
a common domesticated goat. SCP-2282's skeletal, muscular, and 
cranial anatomy is identical. 


SCP-2282's digestive tract is a highly non-Euclidean array of spacial 
distortions warped to increase its internal volume to at least 
seventeen thousand cubic meters (17,000 m§), consisting of over 
eight thousand (8000) separate stomachs. The digestive tract of 
SCP-2282 is complicated and nonlinear with seemingly no 
organized purpose. The total mass of SCP-2282 is at least sixteen 
million kilograms (16,000,000 kg), but externally appears to have a 
mass of only 89 kg, a normal amount for a goat of its apparent 
breed. These additional organs also apparently do not require 
additional sustenance to function, as SCP-2282's material diet is 
normal. 


SCP-2282 consumes matter by incorporating the space that 
contains that matter into its own body. This space is removed from 
an area near SCP-2282's mouth while grazing, and manipulated so 
that its exterior is shrunk as it is transported to inside of SCP-2282's 
digestive tract. The cavity this creates within SCP-2282 is then filled 
with new flesh and organs. SCP-2282 consumes approximately 


three cubic meters (3 m%) per day. 


Addendum: SCP-2282 was discovered on 3 Feb 2001 on a goat 
ranch in central California after Foundation gravitational-wave 
observatories in Area-6, Area-22, and Site-20 began detecting a 
small, regular tremor in the curvature of spacetime. The anomaly 
was triangulated, and the farm was investigated and purchased after 
the effect was confirmed. 


Addendum: Correspondence between Dr. Carrs and Overwatch 
Council, 22 Apr 2014 


SCP-2282 has begun showing signs of aging and ill health 
appropriate to a goat of its age. Barring more intense medical care, 
it has maybe four more months left alive. | am seeking approval to 
euthanize SCP-2282 on 1 May 2014 before it dies of natural causes 
to allow it to decease in a controlled environment, and to study its 
anatomy before it undergoes organ failure. - Dr. Carrs 


Approved. - O5-9 


Addendum: Euthanasia of SCP-2282 proceeded as planned until 
the moment of death. After injection by Dr. Dangson, SCP-2282's 
interior instantaneously distorted itself to match Euclidean space. 
This resulted in a bubble of new space sixty-seven meters (67 m) in 
diameter appearing from SCP-2282's abdomen, warping all space in 
the surrounding area. 


Dr. Dangson, standing directly next to SCP-2282 during the 
distortion, was killed instantaneously from massive anatomical 
deformation. Dr. Carrs entered critical condition and died six hours 
later from cerebral hemorrhaging. Dr. Ohman and Dr. Jept suffered 
severe skeletal and anatomical deformation; Dr. Jept required 
amputation of his left arm and leg, and Dr. Ohman is currently 
undergoing intensive physical therapy to regain full mobility.