Any last vestiges of hope are crushed into tiny nubbins as subjects 
undergo a CK-Class Total Containment Failure, finally expelling the 


contents of their bowels in a magnificent riptide that could best be 
compared to a single, large leak in the Hoover Dam: an 
unfathomably vast expanse of liquid ejected at a rate fast enough to 
be upsetting, but not fast enough to be merciful. Subjects have 
described the experience as the digestive equivalent of one's life 
flashing before their eyes, with every meal eaten during an 
individual's lifetime excruciatingly funneled out in reverse 
chronological order. 


The downright baffling amounts of waste produced by the afflicted 
has led researchers to conclude that subjects’ intestinal tracts are 
imbued with extradimensional or ectroentropic properties during this 
time. The ejected waste does not resemble good, wholesome fecal 
matter in the slightest. Rather, it is a roastawful terrorslush that is 
probably corrosive and almost definitely radioactive. The expulsion 
stage is usually fairly brief, but an anomalous temporal field created 
by SCP-666'2-J causes subjects to perceive the experience as 
lasting roughly six lifetimes. 


As the subject's ability to endure the emotional and physical trauma 
of the end-of-days inferno raging within their tenderest parts 
inevitably fails, SCP-666%2-J will enter its final stage: a UK-Class 
Universal Collapse scenario, in which the subject experiences one 
final crescendo of gastric ragnarok followed by a blessed, merciful 
state of unconsciousness. Subjects will awaken one to two hours 
later with full memory of their experience; however, a number of 
afflicted individuals have reported finding themselves moved from 
one location to another during the period of time between passing 
out and regaining consciousness. One researcher testified to having 
found himself in a nearby field, clean and fully dressed, and laying 
atop of pile of 1986 Time magazines with no memory of how he 
arrived there. 


Subjects who undergo SCP-666'2-J's effects often bear 
psychological trauma as a result of the event as well as residual 
intestinal discomfort for the following fortnight. 


Investigations are ongoing. Group of Interest involvement is being 
considered. 


"Having experienced both childbirth and the effects of 


SCP-66612-J, | can safely say that | would choose the 
former any day of the week. SCP-66612-J is like having 
three babies at once, except they're all on fire. Also, 
they're covered in thumbtacks and trying to eat you from 
the inside out, all while the midwife is beating you 
senseless with a crowbar and screaming in your ear to 
push." — Dr. Rights 


"I ordered the beef entrée and therefore cannot give any 
firsthand account of SCP-66612-J's effects. However, | 
can say with certainty that I've seen Keter-Class 
containment breaches cause less pandemonium and 
widespread demoralization. It was, without a doubt, the 
second darkest night Site-19 has seen."! — Dr. Gears 


"This is my third body since the incident and | still don't 
feel like it's worked its way out of my system yet. If you'll 
excuse me, I'm going to go try for a fourth." - Dr. Bright 


"It's been three weeks and | still can't stand up straight. | 
have stared death in the face, and he is garnished with 
parsley." — Dr. Kondraki 


Incident Log: On 04/26/2007, a small quantity of SCP-66612-J was 
fed to an as-of-then harmless Euclid-Class SCP object by 
researchers. The object has since shown extreme hostility toward 
anything resembling human life. Additionally, a mysterious 
substance of unknown origin manifesting on the floor of the SCP's 
containment chamber has created the need for routine cleaning. 
Cross exposure of SCP-66612-J in any situation other than 
attempted neutralization has since been prohibited. 


Addendum: Despite objections by the Ethics Committee, a meal of 
SCP-66612-J was fed to SCP-682. At the apex of SCP-66612-J's 
wrath, SCP-682 threw its hands in the air, screamed "Yog Sothoth 
take me now!" and willingly left this mortal coil. Neutralization 
deemed successful. 


"Jesus wept." — Dr. Clef 


Footnotes 


1. "The darkest night being, of course, the ill-fatedBreakfast With 
Dolly Partonfiasco, of which few dare to speak even to this day." 


SCP-103-J: Confirmed 


Item #: SCP-103-J 
Object Class: Keter 


Special Containment Procedures: Due to budget cuts, monitoring 
of SCP-103-J has been outsourced to Illumination Intelligence Inc., 
which provides the Foundation with invaluable intelligence for a 
nominal fee. Similarly, Newton's Worldwide Orders has been 
contracted to examine Foundation sites and personnel for SCP-103- 
J infiltration and influence, and to make alterations as necessary to 
prevent further breaches. 


As of 2006-06-06, Operation Declassify is in full effect. See 
Addendum 103-J-2 for additional details. 


Description: SCP-103-J is a "secretive power elite with a globalist 
agenda” that intends to "eventually rule the world through an 
authoritarian world government".! Agents of SCP-103-J (collectively 
designated SCP-103-J-1) present similarly to Foundation agents, 
except with subtly better cars, control over world affairs, and 
spouses. Under controlled conditions, SCP-103-J-1 can deadlift an 
average of 10% more weight than Foundation agents. 


SCP-103-J-2 refers to a class of three-sided polygonal figures with 
largely unexplored esoteric, thaumaturgic, reality-warping, and 
otherwise spooky properties. Current evidence suggests that 
SCP-103-J-1 exude SCP-103-J-2 from their sweat glands as a way 
of marking territory, incorporating them into various objects, 
locations, and media. The presence of SCP-103-J-2 is the most 
reliable way of detecting the presence of SCP-103-J. SCP-103-J-2 
is sometimes found alongside SCP-103-J-I, which [DAT 
EXPUNGED]. 


The primary threat posed by SCP-103-dJ is poorly understood, as 
their security is better than ours. It is the opinion of the O5 Council 


that SCP-103-J poses the risk of an FK-Class domination shift 
scenario. Destroying SCP-103-J is currently the top priority of the 
Foundation. 


THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION IS 
RESTRICTED TO LEVEL FOUR 
PERSONNEL. UNAUTHORIZED ACCESS 
IS NOT POSSIBLE; THE PRESENCE OF 
THIS DISCLAIMER IS PURELY A 
MATTER OF TRADITION. 


Addendum 103-J-1 
+ INPUT CREDENTIALS 


The presence of SCP-103-J-2 has been confirmed in 
many currently-contained anomalies, suggesting that 
SCP-103-J has infiltrated the Foundation extensively. 
What follows is photographic evidence to this effect. For 
additional documentation, please access the Confirmed 
Sightings list. 


Addendum 103-J-2 
+ INPUT CREDENTIALS 


Operation Declassify was initiated in 2006 with the aim of 
disrupting SCP-103-J's operations and neutralizing the 
threat it poses to the Foundation... The goal was to 
kidnap, brainwash, and demoralize SCP-103-J-1 
instances before killing them. The particular mechanism 
for this is outlined in Dr. Grayson's Proposal "Addressing 
Personnel Shortages Via Forcible Outside Recruitment". 


Interview 103-J-289 


Dr. Grayson: Ingenious, isn't it? 
D-289: Uh-huh. 


Dr. Grayson: You're already wiped from the 

public record, and your deaths have already 

been faked. Your employers took care of that 
for us. 


D-289: Sure. 


Dr. Grayson: Nobody will miss you. Much 
lower risk than those death row inmates than 
we used to use. 


D-289: Right. 


Dr. Grayson: And because you're already 
adept at survival, we don't run through so 
many of you. 


D-289: That's nice. 


Dr. Grayson: You really are the perfect 
disposable personnel. Wouldn't you agree? 


D-289: Dr. Grayson, did you bring me here just 
to brag about how smart you are? 


Dr. Grayson: Y— No, there's another reason. 
D-289: Alright, what is it? 


Dr. Grayson: You haven't been following the 
etiquette guidelines we assigned you. 


D-289: That's because they're degrading. 
Dr. Grayson: So? 


D-289: You actually get a kick out of making 
us act like that? 


Dr. Grayson: Just... follow them, or suffer the 
consequences. Understood? 


D-289: [Sighs loudly, adopts Jersey accent] 
You fuckin’ got it, doc. 


Footnotes 

1. New World Order (conspiracy theory). (n.d.) InWikipedia. 
Retrieved September 18, 2016, fromhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ 
New_World_Order_(conspiracy_ theory) 


Confirmed Sightings 


The following is extended documentation regarding the infiltration of 
the Foundation by SCP-103-J. Any personnel who identify SCP-103- 
J-2 in an anomaly must document the instance photographically, 
highlight the instance(s) for ease of viewing, and append the 
documentation to this page. 


« SCP-538 | SCP-539 | SCP-540 » 


SCP-002-J: Amnesiac Treatment 


Item: SCP-002-J 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: All instances of SCP-002-J are 
to be kept in Site 200's mental health facilities and given proper 
treatment for symptoms including: anterograde amnesia, retrograde 
amnesia, dementia, Alzheimer's, cerebral flatulence, insomnia, and 
tongue sparsity. Testing of SCP-002-J is suspended indefinitely. 


Description: SCP-002-J refers to individuals of varying age, sex, 
and ethnicity all suffering from some manner of memory loss. Up 
until 20 , SCP-002-J instances were employed by Foundation 
personnel as tools administered to civilians exposed to anomalies 
and/or who have gained undue knowledge of Foundation activity as 
a means of preventing the leak of classified information. 


When employed properly, SCP-002-J instances between 4 and , 4 
swarm targeted individuals, typically invading individuals' personal 
space and engaging them in a series of questions to distract and 
befuddle the person(s) long enough for Foundation personnel to 
vacate the area. Questions frequently asked have included "who are 
you?", "where am |?", "are you alive?", "this isn't where | parked my 
car?", "where do whores go?", "you're not Alan?", and "how am | 
trespassing?" 


While proven effective for years, instances of SCP-002-J began to 
inadvertently reveal information regarding the Foundation to 
civilians. In many cases, SCP-002-J instances had gained 
knowledge of several memetic SCPs and caused containment 
breaches as a result. 


This event necessitated a mass-recall of all Foundation amnesiacs 
while a more effective tool was developed. In the intervening period, 
personnel were authorized to use Agent-PBR, Agent-1800, and 


Agent-MD20? to induce memory loss in civilian witnesses. 


Attempts to discern how SCP-002-J gained knowledge of sensitive 
Foundation information were largely unsuccessful. An interview is 
logged below. 


Transcript of conversation between Dr. Marlowe and SCP-002- 
J-41 

<Begin Log, 04:04:17> 

Dr. Marlowe: Hello, my name is Dr. Marlowe. 
SCP-002-J-41: Who are you? Where am |? 

Dr. Marlowe: I'm Dr. Marlowe. You're at Site 200. 


SCP-002-J-41: Is this Site 19? Can | ask questions 
here? 


Dr. Marlowe: | just told you, this is Site 200. 
SCP-002-J-41: | can't ask questions here? 


Dr. Marlowe: You're— Okay. Do you have any memory 
of the events that occurred yesterday? 


SCP-002-J-41: In the afternoon or evening? 
Dr. Marlowe: In the afternoon, please. 
SCP-002-J-41: Dang, | was afraid of that... 


Dr. Marlowe: Just stay focused; do you remember the 
incident that took place that evening, then? 


SCP-002-J-41: | don't mean to be wasting your time, I'm 
sorry... are we cool yet? 


Dr. Marlowe: How did you gain knowledge regarding 
SCP- ? 


SCP-002-J-41: Is that the sphere? Or wait, the one that's 
definitely not a sphere? 


Dr. Marlowe: No, it's [REDACTED]. 
SCP-002-J-41: "Are" or "Ear"? 

Dr. Marlowe: What? 
SCP-002-J-41: Huh? 


Dr. Marlowe: How did you learn about SCP-__, the 
[REDACTED] 


SCP-002-J-41: | don't know. How much longer is this 
gonna take? | don't remember if | walked here or drove, | 
can't find my keys anywhere. 


Dr. Marlowe: We're just about done, | think. 


SCP-002-J-41: Great. I've been meaning to catch up on 
[REDACTED] but for the life of me | just can't remember 
what episode I'm by. Been distracted by the news, you 
know. Speaking of which, you hear about that thing down 
in Samothrace? 


Dr. Marlowe: You [EXPLETIVE]— 


<End Log> 


SCP-100-J: A Steaming Pile of Shit 


Item #: SCP-100-J 
Object Class: Keter 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-100-d is kept in a 20- 
by-20-meter containment structure on the bottom floor of Site-19. 
The structure is to be lined with plasticrete, backed up by 4 meters 
of steel. Attempts to encase the SCP in telekill have met with 
absolutely zero success. SCP-100-J is to be kept in a plastic bucket 
in the middle of the containment structure. There is to be around- 
the-clock surveillance of SCP-100-J. Security on SCP-100-d is 
minimal at most times, needing only one guard on a rotating 
schedule. However, whenever a new operative joins the staff at 
Site-19, a security detail of at least 20 fully-trained security 
operatives, as well as ten agents, are to be on duty outside the 
containment structure for 72 hours; after 72 hours, if no new SCP 
has been spawned, normal security practices are to be reinstated. 
Should a non-sentient SCP emerge from SCP-100-J, a team of 
researchers is to be dispatched into the containment structure, to 
determine the properties of the new SCP, and to determine how 
best to decommission it. Should a sentient SCP emerge from 
SCP-100-J, Site-19 is to go on full alert, and all manpower brought 
to bear on containment structure. Agents Clef, Kondraki, Gears, and 
[REDACTED] are to be immediately informed, so they can begin 
forming decommission strategies. Should an SCP from SCP-100-J 
make it past the bottom ten floors of Site-19, the onsite nuclear 
weapon is to be detonated. 


Description: SCP-100-J appears to be a 42 cm by 32 cm mound of 
equine feces. The SCP maintains a constant moistness, as well as 
an inner temperature of 38.3 degrees Celsius. 


Whenever a new operative joins Site-19, there is a 75% chance that 
anew SCP will be spawned from SCP-100-J. There is a 50% 
chance of the new SCP being sentient. 


Non-sentient SCPs come in a variety of categories. Many are 
weapons, all of which bestow extraordinary abilities upon the user. 
The majority of such weapons are swords, with a small minority 
being rather awkwardly-modified firearms. Additional non-sentient 
SCPs tend to be items that either work better than they should, or 
work in direct opposition to the way they should. 


Sentient SCPs come in two main categories. The majority of 
humanoid SCPs appear as idealized versions of the new operative, 
physically attractive, with a multitude of abilities, and tend to make 
people feel comfortable in their presence. Non-humanoid SCPs are 
usually some form of enhanced normal creature, but with bizarre 
coloring. 


Addendum: List of SCPs created from SCP-100-J: 


SCP- -D'Little Addie’: SCP appeared to be Adolf Hitler, at six years 
old. SCP was terminated without any alterations to the timestream. 


SCP-048-D 'Joey': SCP was a dog with a human face, friendly 
except when taunted. SCP was put to sleep without any negative 
effects. 


SCP-083-D 'Duke': SCP appeared to be a polite and well-mannered 
vampire. SCP was terminated by Agent Kondraki after near- 
destruction of Site-19. 


SCP-886-D 'Vibrations': SCP appeared to be skin-tight suit that 
interacted directly with a subject's nervous system, granting them 
incredible powers. SCP was burned with no adverse side effects. 


SCP-966-D ‘Reverse Air Purifier’: SCP acted as an air purifier, but in 
reverse. SCP was smelted, and resulting scrap used to line the floor 
in SCP-173's room. 


SCP-108-D 'The Man O'War': Human male resembling Agent James 
, proved to be unstoppable when in possession of any weapon. 
Subject was given SCP-572, and self-decapitated.