- Dr Major 


SCP-1950-J: Locked away in the tallest Containment 
Cell 


Item #: SCP-1950-J 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1950-J is to be housed in 
a tower Standard Foundation Single occupant elevated cylindrical 
containment room. Subject is to be provided with tattered clothes, 
scraps from Site 19 kitchen, household cleaning implements, and 
books in the fantasy or adventure genre; preferably ones featuring 
romantic subplots and fanciful settings SCP-1950-J-1 will never get 
to experience. At all times, two ugly security personnel and/or 
researchers of a similar age to SCP-1950-J’s appearance must be 
on hand to deliver appropriate insults and demands for menial labor. 


As of incident SCP-1950-J-Gamma, subject is no longer to be 
allowed out of her cell under any circumstances. 


Personnel assigned to SCP-1950-J must be screened for musical 
ability. Any staff with a capacity for performing song/dance routines 
must not work in close proximity to SCP-1936-J-1. Personnel 
infected by SCP-1950-J-2 must be administered Class B amnestics, 
followed by a 4-week period of quarantined observation. In the event 
this treatment is ineffective, the personnel must be terminated to 
prevent spreading the infection. 


Any instance of SCP-1950-J-3 and associated anomalous beings 
are to be dealt with according to procedure 666. 


Description: SCP-1950-J refers to SCP-1950-J-1 and its related 
effects. SCP-1950-J-1 is a human female of European lineage, with 
the only outwardly anomalous feature being eyes and pupils that are 
5 times the human average, body proportions that would make 
normal human functions, such as eating, impossible, and perpetually 
appearing to be 18 years old. Interviews with 1950-J-1 has 


determined that she was the daughter of the king in exile of the 
kingdom of [DATA EXPUNGED]. No records exist of this country. 


SCP-1950-J-1 was discovered in the home of senior researcher 
Barbaracia, who came to be the sole guardian of her, following the 
death of 1950-J-1’s original father in a freak and tragic stabbing 
accident. After keeping her as a household servant and forcing her 
to dress in rags and eat only crumbs and garbage, SCP-1950-J-1 
began to manifest its first and primary anomalous feature. 


On 27/11/13, SCP-1950-J began to manifest its primary anomalous 
feature, the production of SCP-1950-J-2, which was in turn 
reproduced by researcher Barbaracia. SCP-1950-J-2 is a memetic 
audio frequency that takes the form of a variety of songs sung by 
1950-J-1, but all reproductions and recordings have similar effects. 
These songs vary in length, complexity and style, seemingly at 
random, though remaining consistent for years at a time before 
shifting to a different style. However, these songs always retain a 
similar lyrical focus on themes of discovery, hope, a longing for true 
love, believing in yourself, and other subject matter we do not need 
to reinforce to the other anomalies. 


1950-J-2’s primary anomalous effect comes when it is heard by an 
object or creature that is itself anomalous, be it thaumatological or 
technological. Upon being exposed to an instance of 1950-J-2, all 
living, sapient anomalous beings enter a trance-like state for .34 
seconds, after which they flock to whatever is emitting it, and begin 
joining in the instance, providing chorus singing, backup vocals, 
harmony parts, and choreographed dance numbers. Non-living 
anomalous items will manifest large, cartoonish eyeballs from 
random places (including hovering in mid-air for noncorporeal or 
abstract concept anomalies), and join in as if they were sentient. 


During its prolonged containment, 1950-J-1 has demonstrated the 
ability to either attract or spontaneously generate instances of 1950- 
J-3. 1950-J-3 refers to a male humanoid of diverse possible racial 
and socioeconomic backgrounds, but all with roughly the same face 
and personality. 1950-J-3 displays an acute knowledge of the 
precise Foundation facility that 1950-J-1 is being contained at, and 
each instance will attempt to assault the facility, along with a variety 
of magical allies, collectively referred to as SCP-1950-J-4 until 


SCP-548: Ice Spider 


Item #: SCP-548 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-548 is to be kept at 24°C 
ina 50 cm x 50 cm terrarium. The enclosure is to be composed of 
modified borosilicate glass with high thermal shock resistance, or of 
other materials not rendered brittle by sudden temperature changes 
of greater than 50°C. In the event that SCP-548 makes an active 
attempt to grind through the terrarium walls, the enclosure is to be 
flooded immediately with 500 mL liquid nitrogen and the subject 
removed temporarily to a reinforced steel terrarium. Subject is to be 
fed mice, one every four days. 


SCP-548 should not be handled except as needed for testing. 
Handlers must be at least cursorily familiar with tarantula behavior 
and wear heavily insulated gloves. Should subject display any 
aggressive behavior, cease handling prompltly. If bitten, personnel 
should be treated immediately for hypothermia and frostbite. Active 
intrathoracic warming with heated fluids is indicated for severe bites. 


Description: SCP-548 is a female cobalt tarantula (Cyriopagopus 
lividus), 7.3 cm long. Its venom undergoes a highly endothermic 
reaction on contact with living tissue; a single bite, injecting less than 
0.5 mL venom, causes an average temperature drop of 38°C in the 
affected area. One bite is sufficient to cause localized frostbite in a 
human, and may even be lethal should the venom reach the central 
circulatory system. Victims smaller than SCP-548 are frequently 
frozen solid. 


SCP-548's feeding structures are normal for a spider of its species 
except for the maxillae, which are extremely hard and serrated. It 
feeds by delivering a venomous bite, then dragging the prey toa 
safe place while it cools. While secluded, it proceeds to grind the 
prey's still-frozen tissue into edible fragments. This feeding style 


individual capture and classification. All instances of 1950-J-4 have 
so far displayed a preference for behaviour deemed "marketable" 
over actions that would assist in freeing 1950-J-1. 


Procedure 666: In the event of an attack on site by an SCP-1950- 
J-3 instance and associated beings, researchers and security 
personnel are to, in all cases, resist the urge to transform into a 
giant monstrous form to attack them as “you really are”. Please keep 
in mind that this has a very low success rate, and even when 
successful, has tended to make returning to usual functions difficult. 
Instead, security personnel are encouraged to just shoot the present 
1950-J-3 instance, usually the prettiest one, in the head. Lacking the 
leadership of the -3 instance and “the hope of seeing true loves first 
kiss”, the other beings can be contained and classified easily. 


Incident 1950-J-Gamma: 


Transcript taken from recording of SCP-1950-J-1's 
scheduled exercise period, taken in a nearby meadow at 
SCP-1950-J-1's request. This is the first fully recorded 
instance of 1950-J-2, during which she ran through the 
grass. 


SCP-1950-J-1: Where am | now? Is it a place to fear? 
What will | see, more snarls and more sneers? 

Am | to live just shuttered away? 

Never again, to see the light, of day? 


This warmth....1 know it. From years before. 

The light, is a light, I’d give the world for 

The blades ‘neath my feet, not the cold concrete cell, 
have | finally escaped, that cold, emotionless hell? 


The sweet smell of summer is still on the air, 

As sweet as smile of my prince, tall and fair, 

They told me my people no longer remain, 

But | know that somehow I'll bring them all back, again 


It's out there, my home, my people, calling me back to 
them 
Out there, somewhere, be it in Cairo or Bethlehem, 


| can't stop, | can't wait, | can't get distracted, 
| know I can do it, if | just [REDACTED] 


They'll be back, they'll be home, they'll be free, 
| know it can happen, so just wait and see, 
And it will all be, because of me, 

If | can only be, where | need to be. 


Sr. Researcher Sherman: Man, there’s just something 
so empowering, seeing her run off like that. 


Security Personnel Lopez: Hey, is she gonna come 
back? 


(3 second silence) 
Sr. Researcher Sherman: Oh, son of a.... 


Rest of recording consists of Researcher Sherman 
swearing copiously. 


Addendum: As of 20/03/2016, possible passive additional effect of 
SCP-1950-J has been observed. Upon being informed of the latest 
foiled attempt by SCP-1950-J-3 to breach containment, 
Administrator Jensen was observed rubbing their hands, cackling, 
and saying “Good, Soon | WILL BE THE PRETTIEST OF ALL! 
MUAHAHAHAH!”’ As of writing, Administrator Jensen is still relatively 
unattractive, even by the common standards of bald 93-year-old 
men. Further study is required. 


SCP-2383-J: Science 


Item #: SCP-2383-J 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2383-J is to be kept ina 
room measuring 5m x 5m x5m, on a pedestal two point five (2.5) 
metres high. A warning stripe is to be painted at a radius of two (2) 
metres from the SCP, and no personnel should enter this area 
outside of testing. The containment room is to be secured via digital 
lock, the combination possessed by the lead Researcher. A 
laboratory containing basic equipment should be established 
opposite containment, and unlocked at all times. Movement of 
SCP-2383-J is to be performed by robotic means. 


Any usable products of SCP-2383-J testing are to be stored with 
appropriate containment procedures, and are designated 
SCP-2383-X, where X denotes the numerical order of the item's 
acquisition. Any overly dangerous items are to be destroyed, unless 
storage is approved by the Site Director. SCP-2383-1 to -5 are 
currently contained off site. SCP-2383-6 and -7 have been 
destroyed. 


Any subjects under influence of SCP-2383-J can be tranquilized 
without incident at any point, to bring testing or containment 
breaches to a close. 


Description: Remote surveillance has shown SCP-2383-J to be an 
empty brand beaker. However, interviews with test subjects 
have resulted in varying descriptions, from a test tube containing a 
boiling green liquid to an Erlenmeyer flask containing smoke. 


The range of effect for SCP-2383-J is spherical, with a radius of one 
point five (1.5) metres. Upon a Subject entering the effective range, 
SCP-2383-J will appear in their right hand. The movement is 

instantaneous, and does not require action from said Subject. Upon 


contact of SCP-2383-J and the Subject's skin, Subject will 
immediately demand other personnel in the room move backwards. 
These demands are repeated for approximately 15 seconds at high 
volume, before the Subject proceeds to the next stage. 


After warning other personnel, SCP-2383-J will begin to fill with 
liquid. During this stage, the Subject will simultaneously move ina 
direct line, at high speed, to the nearest laboratory (defined as a 
room with any scientific equipment listed in Document 2383-J: 
Requirements). The speed has been recorded as being as high as 
km/h, suggesting SCP-2383-J is able to increase the Subject's 
physical attributes in some way. This speed also appears to be 
related to the distance to the nearest laboratory, increasing at an 
exponential scale to a theoretical maximum of 1. km/h. 


Upon reaching a laboratory, the Subject will place SCP-2383-J ona 
suitable surface, and engage in activity (hereafter referred to as 
Experiment). The Experiment will initially appear nonsensical, and 
utilize apparently random items from the surrounding environment 
other than living biological matter. SCP-2383-J will not revert to its 
inactive state until the Subject completes their Experiment. Despite 
the random nature of the Experiment, all Experiments involve the 
addition of the liquid stored inside SCP-2383-J at some stage. 
Completion of the Experiment allows the subject to exit the range of 
SCP-2383-J, unless hampered by the Experiment result. 


The visible color of SCP-2383-J affects the final product of any 
experiment performed, and appears to be based on the nature of 
nearby items. Colors observed in testing so far include red, blue, 
green, purple and white. Below is a short table detailing the 
expected results of experiments, however the actual items used in 
the experiment cause the end result to vary. 


Red: Red is currently considered to be the most dangerous state of 
SCP-2383-J. The most common product of SCP-2383-J displaying 
this color is an explosion. Any tests where the subject causes 
SCP-2383-J to create a red liquid are to immediately enact protocol 
2383-Rho. 


Blue: Results of a test where SCP-2383-J creates a blue liquid are 
currently unknown, as the results mostly vaporize or cease to exist 


instantly. Tests where a blue liquid is formed are to utilize protocol 
2383-Beta if the experiment result can be collected. The only 
notable product with continued existence is SCP-2383-1. 


Green: Tests where SCP-2383-J has displayed a green color have 
resulted in the creation of a form of life. The organisms created by 
all tests to date have died almost instantly, with the exceptions of 
SCP-2383-2 and -3. Violent life-forms are to be terminated and the 
remains disposed of by incineration after testing. 


Purple: Purple tests have always resulted in the formation of some 
kind of weapon. Most items produced this way have relatively 
harmless outward appearance, but 90% are extremely deadly. Of 
note are SCP-2383-4 and SCP-2383-5. Both exhibit 
superconductive properties in non-metallic materials, and as 
[REDACTED]. Retrieval of test results are to be done after sedation 
of test subject, by armed Agents. 


White: Only one test subject to date has caused SCP-2383-J to 
create a white liquid. The result of this test [REDACTED] and 
classified as SCP-2383-  . How the subject was able to cause 
[DATA EXPUNGED] currently unknown, as the current particle 
standard model denies the existence [REDACTED]. 


Test Log SCP-2383-J-T 


Report SCP-2383-Alpha: On / /  , D-3412 entered the room 
directly below the previous storage area for SCP-2383-J. At this 
time, the spherical nature of the SCP's effect range was unknown, 
and class D personnel were being utilized to refit the chamber 
underneath. Upon moving inside the established 1.5m meter radius 
at roughly : , SCP-2383-J materialised in the hands of D-3412. 
D-3412 is recorded as demanding "Stand back, [REDACTED]". 


As Site- was undergoing refit at the time, D-3412 moved directly 
towards the laboratory adjacent to the chamber at high speed. 


Cleanup crews were dispatched at : , SCP-2383-J relocated to 
current containment and containment protocols updated accordingly. 


SCP-999-J: Creepy Speedo Man 


Item #: SCP-999-J 
Object Class: Keter 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-999-J is currently 
uncontainable, but if anyone figures out how to contain the bastard 
they better fucking tell O5- right now. Seriously people ASAP. 


Description: SCP-999-J is an overweight, Caucasian, balding male 
devoid of all clothing beyond that of a Speedo brand pair of swim 
briefs, henceforth to be referred to as SCP-999-J-1. SCP-999-J is 
capable of teleporting onto any bed, although it appears he prefers 
them to be occupied. He will lie there and breathe heavily with his 
mouth open until the subject awakens, at which point he'll look at the 
subject and then slowly reach his hand into SCP-999-J-1. SCP-999- 
J will then pull out some form of non-anomalous object, most 
commonly a can of Surge or a generic trading card. 


SCP-999-J typically appears during periods of intense self- 
gratification, sleep, copulation between couples, and after urination.