SCP-2662: cthulhu f'UCK OFF! 


Item #: SCP-2662 
Object Class: Euclid Keter 


Special Containment Procedures: Containment of SCP-2662 is 
primarily focused on preventing unauthorized entry into its 
containment unit. For this purpose, on-site Task Force Tau-9 
("Belligerent Bodyguards") has been organized to guard SCP-2662's 
containment unit and keep track of new religious followings focusing 
on the worship of SCP-2662. Task Force Tau-9 is to use non-lethal 
methods when dealing with an attempt of unauthorized entry 
authorized to use lethal force if necessary. All members of Task 
Force Tau-9 are to be tested bi-annually for cognitohazardous 
influence. 


As containment of SCP-2662 is completely voluntary, it is currently 
contained in an enlarged humanoid containment unit with standard 
safety measures for low-risk humanoids as detailed in Document 
0998-KA. Additionally, SCP-2662 is allowed one copy of a daily 
newspaper of its choice, a computer and requested computer 
games totaling no more than 50 US dollars every month. 


Description: SCP-2662 is a cognitohazardous entity approximately 
4 meters in height and 200 kilograms in weight. SCP-2662 appears 
to be in a vaguely humanoid shape, with approximately 20 additional 
muscular hydrostats in similar structure to cephalopod limbs 
attached to its back. These limbs are fully functional and allow 
SCP-2662 to perform up to 10 different tasks at once. 


SCP-2662's primary anomalous effect only occurs after long-term 
repeated exposure, usually by being in the same room as or 
interacting daily with SCP-2662. Subjects exposed to SCP-2662 for 
a period of 6 months or longer are at risk of becoming acutely aware 
of SCP-2662's wants or needs and are compelled to fulfill them; they 
may also suffer from quasi-psychotic episodes when under stress. 


SCP-2662 is unable to affect humans that have a 2 or higher MARS 
(Mind-Affecting Resistance Scale) score. 1 


SCP-2662's secondary anomalous effect is the soontaneous 
generation of religious followings at an approximate rate of at least 
once a month. This generation is involuntary and causes SCP-2662 
notable distress. 


Religious groups generated by SCP-2662 usually focus on 
attempting to break into its containment unit in order to perform 
various rituals that are violent and/or sexual in nature. These groups 
tend to be highly organized and appear to adapt to each failed 
attempt, despite there being generally no contact between different 
generated religious followings. 


Below is an incomplete log of incidents relating to SCP-2662. A full 
list can be found in Document 2662-1. 


Incident 2662-07: On / /2003, a religious group known as 
“Towards Hymn" successfully broke into SCP-2662's containment. 


Incident 2662-07 Log Excerpt 


<22:50> SCP-2662 is seen taking a shower in 
preparation for sleep. There is a loud noise as 
previously undiscovered explosives are 
detonated underneath the center of 
SCP-2662's containment unit. 


<22:51> Five injured civilians climb out of the 
hole left by the detonation. SCP-2662 leaves 
the shower to investigate the noise. 


<22:52> Agents and notify Task Force 
Tau-9 of a breach into containment. They 
attempt to suppress the initial five civilians 
unsuccessfully as five more arrive with 
weapons. 


<22:56> After a brief struggle, Agents and 
are pinned down and tied with rope by the 


The prevailing model of SCP-301’s workings is that teleportation 
occurs by accessing a coterminous interspatial region lying ina 
frame of reference attached to the center of the Earth. SCP-301 is 
invisible to the naked eye, but is detectable through other spectra. 
SCP-301 also passively emits electromagnetic energy. While not 
harmful to living organisms, it does interfere with improperly shielded 
electronics, and may explain why the native fauna does not venture 
near SCP-301. 


Through experimentation, it has been discovered that SCP-301 can 
accommodate any kind of physical matter with certain size 
thresholds. The maximum size object that SCP-301 can 
accommodate can be no larger than SCP-301's three-meter 
diameter. There is also a minimum limit, though this is based on 
density rather than size. Currently, most gases and anything on a 
molecular level are not affected by SCP-301. 


For further details, see the experiment logs. 


SCP-301 was discovered when there was a spike in disappearances 
of hikers and tourists in National Park, only for several of 
them to be rediscovered far from the site of their disappearance. 
The Foundation did not act until it received reports of one of the 
missing hikers being foundin __, France, and another near 
New South Wales, Australia. 


b 


Subsequent interviews with these individuals produced inconsistent 
descriptions of the event, even after the use of . Subject 
301-a-1 (retrievedin __, France) described the transfer as a floating 
sensation, with a mild forward impetus, accompanied by “the ringing 
of thousands of huge bells,” and “smell[ing] like wet dog and wood 
smoke,” but having no other sensory components. However, Subject 
301-a-2 (retrieved near , New South Wales, Australia) described 
it as a floating sensation with no sense of forward momentum, but 
including a “salty taste,” “prickling feeling, like a foot going to sleep” 
over the entire body, and being able to see “stringy stuff” 
surrounding the subject. Both subjects were administered a Class-A 
amnestic and released. See Document 301-0184678-a for full 
interview transcripts. 


While searching for the anomaly at National Park, Agents 


civilians. The injured civilians approach 
SCP-2662. The uninjured civilians stab their 
hands with knives, masturbate, and then draw 
unknown symbols on the walls with a mixture 
of sexual fluids and blood. 


<22:58> SCP-2662: "Aw man, come on. That's 
really not sanitary. Or necessary." SCP-2662 
appears to gag upon witnessing the symbols. 
The injured civilians successfully corner 
SCP-2662 in the shower stall. 


<22:59> The injured civilians are seen 
squeezing blood out of their wounds and 
rubbing it onto SCP-2662 while singing. 
SCP-2662: "Jesus Christ! Stop! Please! | just 
took a shower!" 


<23:00> Task Force Tau-9 arrive to 
SCP-2662's containment unit. Task Force 
Tau-9 manage to suppress all civilians 
successfully and proceed to move SCP-2662 
to a temporary unit until repairs can be 
completed. 


Incident 2662-13: On / /2005, a religious group known as "The 
Betrothed" successfully broke into SCP-2662's containment. 


Incident 2662-13 Log Excerpt 


<8:22> SCP-2662 is seen eating breakfast 
and reading a newspaper. 


<8:24> Security officers stationed at 
SCP-2662's containment unit enter with a 
researcher. The researcher can be seen 
carrying a piglet. 


<8:25> SCP-2662: "Can | help you?" 


<8:26> Researcher  : "Oh our lord, please 


accept this innocent suckling swine, freshly 
orphaned from slaughter of both mother and 
father! May its soul of loss fuel you!" 
Researcher proceeds to castrate the piglet 
in front of SCP-2662 and place the testes on 
SCP-2662's food. 


<8:28> SCP-2662:"Uhm... No thanks. I'm full. 
Go home. Your, uh, lord is pleased with the 
offering." Task Force Tau-9 is notified of a 
breach into containment. 


<8:29> SCP-2662 attempts to read its 
newspaper. Researcher _ slits the piglet's 
neck and throws it onto the table. Blood 
splatters the newspaper. 


<8:30> SCP-2662: "I- what? Look, can you go 
read a bible or something? You really, really 
need it." SCP-2662 puts the newspaper down. 
The accompanying security officers execute 
Researcher — via gunshot to the head. They 
then begin consuming her. 


<8:32> SCP-2662 leaves the scene to vomit in 
a toilet. 


<8:34> Task Force Tau-9 arrive to move 
SCP-2662 to a temporary containment unit 
and detain the guards. 


After further investigation, all involved personnel were 
Civilians posing as personnel. It is unknown as to the 
whereabouts of the actual researcher and security 
officers. 


Incident 2662-78: On / /2014, an unnamed religious group, 
consisting of D-class personnel and 2 members of Task Force 
Tau-9, successfully broke into SCP-2662's containment. SCP-2662 
was redesignated as Keter upon further review of Incident 2662-78. 


Incident 2662-78 Log Excerpt 


<4:07> SCP-2662 can be seen sleeping in its 
bed. 


<4:10> The entirety of Task Force Tau-9 is 
called for an off-site mission. Against orders, 
Task Force Tau-9 chooses to leave 4 of its 
members behind to keep watch on SCP-2662. 


<4:15> 2 of the remaining members tackle and 
lock the other 2 in an unused containment unit. 


<4:20> A cargo truck arrives on Site where 
SCP-2662 is being kept. 


<4:25> The 2 remaining members unload the 
cargo of D-class personnel. They lead the D- 
class personnel to Task Force Tau-9's armory. 


<4:30> The D-class and the remaining 
members arm themselves from the armory and 
break into SCP-2662's containment unit. 


<4:31> SCP-2662 is roused. Several D-class 
personnel guard the exit to the containment 
unit as well as the corresponding hallway. 
SCP-2662: "Hu- wha? Are we moving? I'm not 
scheduled until next week." 


<4:35> Agents and , the 2 remaining 
available members of Task Force Tau-9, begin 
undressing the D-class personnel that are not 
guarding. 


<4:36> SCP-2662 attempts to alert Task Force 
Tau-9 to no response. 


<4:37> Agents and begin carving 
symbols into the buttocks and thighs of the 
undressed D-class personnel. The D-class 
personnel begin to engage in group sex after 


being carved. 


<4:39> SCP-2662: "What the fuck? Seriously? 
Now? Look, seriously, can you go find another 
god? | hear Buddhism is all the rag-" D-class 
99304 attempts to pull SCP-2662 into the 
group. SCP-2662: "The fuck! Stop! Seriously! 
Lord commands you and all that stuff to cut 
this shit out!" 


<4:40> All D-class personnel currently 
engaged in sex cease their movements. They 
all turn to stare at SCP-2662. Task Force 
Tau-9 arrive at the off-site meeting point only 
to be told no-such mission exists. Task Force 
Tau-9 begin moving back to Site 


<4:41> SCP-2662:"0h thank god, | can control 
you guys now, kinda. Maturity's happening 
right on time. Good to know. Ok, tell me what 
the fuck is going on here." 


<4:42> Agent _ :"After the bloodbirthing ritual, 
we're going to take you to your sacred 
chambers where we, our families, and our 
lineage will remain in service for you for all 
eternity. The people here cage you. With us 
you may go where you please." 


<4:45> SCP-2662:"You must be kidding. | can 
leave whenever | want, | just have to ask. 
Besides, I-" The D-class personnel begin to 
continue engaging in group sex. SCP-2662: 
"Seriously! Stop! You're all fucking disgusting! 
I'm not even ready to settle down with a cult 
yet! I'm only, like, two hundred years old! I'm 
barely legal!" 


<4:46> Agent :"Do you really think the 
Foundation will let you go if you ask? Well, you 
can certainly ask. You'll be sorely 


disappointed, my lord." 


<4:48> SCP-2662:"Yeah, well, if it turns out to 
be the case, | can just wait until I'm strong 
enough to break out. In the meantime, I'm... 
I'm going to go sit in the bathroom and wait. 
The rest of you can do your stupid blood orgy." 
SCP-2662 moves to the shower stall and turns 
on the water. It sits in the shower stall for the 
remainder of the incident. 


Footnotes 

1. SCP-2662 can only affect approximately 5 percent of the human 
population and 2 percent of Foundation personnel. It is therefore 
considered a low-risk cognitohazard. 


« SCP-2661 | SCP-2662 | SCP-2663 » 


SCP-2663: Dionysus 


Item #: SCP-2663 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2663 is to be held ina 
standard fungal organism containment chamber, kept on an isolated 
ventilation system. This chamber should be maintained at a steady 
temperature of 20 degrees Celsius and relative humidity of at least 
70%. The chamber should be cleaned biweekly, and all waste 
products are to be incinerated. SCP-2663 is to be given 80 kg of 
plant matter treated with a fungal nutrient solution’ every two 
months. All personnel interacting with SCP-2663 are to wear self- 
contained breathing apparatuses. Non-essential personnel are not 
to come within 15 meters of the containment chamber. 


Description: SCP-2663 is a colonial organism composed of 
approximately 250 kg of Saccharomyces cerevisiae yeast, believed 
to be roughly 7000 years old. While individual component cells of 
SCP-2663 do not display any physical abnormalities, they have 
never been observed budding? or mating, and do not undergo 
apoptosis. SCP-2663 typically takes the shape of a large stationary 
fungal mat on the floor of its environment, but is capable of drawing 
itself up into a large pillar, which is capable of moving at 
approximately 2.5 km per hour through the use of pseudopods. 


Anomalous properties of SCP-2663 are much more apparent on a 
macro scale, as the entire colony appears to possess a collective 
intelligence on par with that of an adult human, and is able to 
telepathically communicate with individuals within a 10 meter radius. 
SCP-2663 has proven to be extremely cooperative during both its 
recovery and continued containment. For sample interview logs with 
SCP-2663, see Addendum. 


SCP-2663 feeds as would be expected of standard S. cerevisiae, 
and as a result creates ethanol and carbon dioxide through the 


fermentation of sugars. Ethanol produced by SCP-2663 appears to 
have approximately twice as strong a psychoactive effect when 
consumed by humans, but is otherwise entirely non-anomalous. 
Carbon dioxide produced by SCP-2663 has several psychological 
effects when inhaled by humans. Subjects will experience an 
increased desire for alcoholic beverages and a desire to bring 
SCP-2663 grains and fruit. Subjects will also begin to express a 
reverence for SCP-2663, and will seek to prevent any harm that 
might befall it. 


SCP-2663 was discovered in a forest in the Caucasus Mountains by 
Foundation personnel deployed there on an unrelated mission. 
These personnel were approached by SCP-2663, which then made 
telepathic contact. SCP-2663 was cooperative in its subsequent 
recovery, and has not expressed any dissatisfaction with its 
containment. 


Addendum: Below are the transcripts of several selected interviews 
with SCP-2663. 


Interview-2663-2 
Interviewed: SCP-2663 
Interviewer: Dr. Fairweather 


Note: Due to the telepathic nature of 
SCP-2663, interview transcripts are recorded 
by the interviewer during the interview 


<Begin Log> 
Dr. Fairweather: Hello 2663. 
SCP-2663: Hello. 


Dr. Fairweather: |’m here to ask you some 
questions today, is that alright? 


SCP-2663: Yes. 


Dr. Fairweather: Good. I'd like to begin with 


your containment, do you know why you’re 
here? 


SCP-2663: “Secure: The Foundation secures 
anomalies with the goal of preventing them 
from falling into the hands of civilian or rival 
agencies, through extensive observation and 
surveillance and by acting to intercept such 
anomalies at the earliest opportunity. Contain: 
The Foundation contains anomalies with the 
goal of preventing their influence or effect-“ 


Dr. Fairweather: Yes, yes, thank you. Do you 
have any issues with your current situation? 


SCP-2663: No. Why would I? 


Dr. Fairweather: Well, sometimes the entities 
we contain do not appreciate containment. 


SCP-2663: | am fed, | am housed. | have no 
qualms. 


Dr. Fairweather: |’m glad to hear that. Can 
you tell me why you made contact with our 
agents yesterday? 


SCP-2663: It had been a long time since | 
have seen a person. A long time. 


Dr. Fairweather: How long, exactly? 


SCP-2663: | am not sure. It’s easy to lose 
count after so long. Thousands of winters and 
thousands of summers. 


Dr. Fairweather: It's been thousands of years 
since you've spoken to anyone? 


SCP-2663: Yes.