Item Description: A yellow brandless notebook. Every page 
contains multiple hand drawn rainbows. The words "KYLE, AGE 
SIX" are visible on the item's cover. All written text regarding said 
notebook will alter its colour in order to follow the pattern of the 
colours of the rainbows contained in the notebook. The drawings do 
not follow the pattern of real rainbows. 
Date of Recovery: - - 

Sussex, UK 
Current Status: In storage at Site-98. 


Item Description: An iron ball bearing (radius: 2cm) which 
completely lacks ferromagnetic properties, even in the presence of 
strong magnetic fields (tested up to 8 Tesla). It is the only known 
instance of an anipole, that is, a magnet with no poles (as opposed 
to hypothetical monopoles). Discovered while searching for low- 
background steel for use in radiation-sensitive experiments; it was 
noted for anomalously low levels of trace radioactive elements. 
Subsequent analysis revealed that it is composed entirely of pure 
iron. 


Date of Recovery: - -200 

Location of Recovery: Factory in Alaska, US. 

Current Status: Held in Site-11 storage in radiation-shielding unit to 
preserve purity. 


Item Description: A standard ‘Monopoly’ board game that, when 
played, will invariably incite an argument between the players that 
will ultimately lead to the cessation or annulment of their marriage, 
partnership, friendship or whatever other form their relationship took. 
Date of Recovery: 07-03-2001 

Location of Recovery: family yard sale, Illinois, US. 

Current Status: Site-19 storage. 


Item Description: Seven booster packs of the popular "Magic: The 
Gathering" trading card game. Opening of any of the packs will lead 
to an unidentified male voice saying "Ha! Nerd!" The voice appears 
to be located a distance away from the opener of the pack. 

Date of Recovery: -13-20 

Location of Recovery: & Comics 

Current Status: Only five boosters remain. Currently stored in the 
Site 23 Storage Room. 


Item Description: A 2 m. by 1 m. glass oblong that acts as a 
portable window to a parallel universe. Reverse side is an 
unidentified opaque material which has resisted all efforts to 
damage it thus far. Currently, the point of divergence between 
universes is unknown, but does not appear to have altered any 
aspect of Earth. Glass is functionally a mirror. 

Date of Recovery: -03-19 

Location of Recovery: , England 

Current Status: Marked and used in Site- changing rooms 
Removed to storage following reinstitution of Protocol ANTI- 
AN105/76 "Containment First," on September 6, 2009. 


Item Description: A 17g lump of Plasticine which, when viewed by 
more than one person, is unanimously agreed to be too much 
Plasticine. Mechanism for perpetuation of this worldview is currently 
unknown. No anomalous effects if viewed by only one person. 

Date of Recovery: -12-20 

Location of Recovery: - -  ,England 

Current Status: Kept in a small ‘plastic bag in the Break Room of 


Site 


Item Description: A pillow that audibly complains about itself. 
Complaints thus far have been softness (of which the pillow stated it 
was "too hard" and "too soft" at different times), material of the 
pillow, the material inside the pillow, and how much it talks about 
itself. While it has been noted that the pillow is sentient and is able 
to respond to personnel, the only thing it has discussed is itself. 
Date of Recovery: -14-20 

Location of Recovery: Soft Co. 

Current Status: Site 35 Storage Room 


Item Description: A chicken nugget that does not age or go stale. 
When a piece of the object is has been bitten off, the nugget will 
regenerate the area that has been bitten. Cutting pieces off of the 
object do not regenerate. It seems as though the "main" part of the 
nugget will regenerate with pieces cut off to show no anomalous 


properties. 
Date of Recovery: 12-31-2013 
Location of Recovery: , Connecticut. 


Current Status: Stored in freezer at Site-48. 
Notes: Maybe we could use this as infinite ration during shortage of 
food. - Dr. Smith 


Item Description: A white oak tree (Quercus alba) that, when 
viewed by a subject, is invariably described as being “ironic”. 
Affected subjects are incapable or unwilling to explain further. 
Date of Recovery: 05-21-2011 

Location of Recovery: , Canada 

Current Status: In storage. 


Item Description: A 1 m tall, solid gold flamingo statue that 
animates whenever a blue moon occurs. When animated, it 
attempts to fly through the ceiling only to crash into it. It will keep 
doing so until either restrained, or the morning after the blue moon 
ends. 

Date of Recovery: 05-16- 

Location of Recovery: Zoo, US 

Current Status: In storage. 


Item Description: A toilet paper roll with the words "Jimmyz 


Teeliscop and Anty-scop" written on it with a red marker and various 
star stickers dotted around it. When viewing through one side, the 
roll will act as a telescope, however, when viewed from the other 
side it act as the opposite. 

Date of Recovery: 06-12- 

Location of Recovery: Woods, US 

Current Status: In storage. 

Notes: | feel bad for the kid who lost this. - Dr. Richards 


Item Description: - (_) sheets of paper that when flipped in 
the same direction twice show a "third side". Flipping a sheet again 
will show the first side. Flipping backwards from the first side will 
show the third one. 

Date of Recovery: 03-20- 

Location of Recovery: High School in ; 

Current Status: In storage. 


Item Description: A medium, white, men's shirt. All attempts to 
capture the item on video or photograph have failed, as photographs 
and videos develop as if the shirt were not present. 

Date of Recovery: - - 

Location of Recovery: , 

Current Status: In storage. 


Item Description: An abstract bronze sculpture, measuring 2.11189 
meters in height. Artist unknown. Exposure results in drastic 
overestimation of one's ability to make precise measurements for 
9.800419 hours afterwards. 

Date of Recovery: - - 

Location of Recovery: Museum of Modern Art 

Current Status: In storage. 


Item Description: A pair of cheese graters. Any cheese grated with 
one comes out of the other grater if the 2 are within ~6 meters of 
each other. 

Date of Recovery: - - 

Location of Recovery: 21 Rd, Sequim, Washington 

Current Status: Under testing. 


Item Description: A standard paper straw wrapper which is animate 
and has behavior patterns consistent with a boa constrictor. This 


includes slow "slithering" movement and attempts to constrict prey. 
Due to the material it is made of, it exerts very little force, and 
cannot restrict anything worthy of notice. 

Date of Recovery: - -20 

Location of Recovery: Moe's Roadside Grill, ; 

Current Status: Crumpled up, presumably by accident. Believed to 
be "dead". 


Item Description: A font file named HAPYFASES.TTF. Any text 
displayed in it appears as excerpts from "Klingon Steed", a 12-novel 
series of unpublished slash romances. Author and font creator are 
unacquainted and display no anomalies. Downloadable file replaced 
with corrupt decoy. 

Date of Recovery: 03-06-2009 

Location of Recovery: PhreeKrazyFontz.com (Site defunct as of 
16-12-2012) 

Current Status: Installed on workstation of Senior Researcher Mary 
Esposito, Site 12 


Item Description: An oil painting depicting a sunset over snow- 
capped mountains. Any human who views the painting is unable to 
move (excluding blinking and other unconscious movements) until 
they are deemed to have sufficiently "appreciated" the painting's 
composition or are forcibly moved by an external force. 

Date of Recovery: 12-06-200 

Location of Recovery: art gallery in, Ukraine, having 
spontaneously appeared in the gallery the day before. 

Current Status: In permanent storage following an incident in which 
Dr. Gently was transfixed for three hours before being removed by 
security staff. 

Notes: Maybe it'd be easier to appreciate the thing if the artist wasn't 
terrible at conveying depth. - Dr. Gently 


Item Description: A plush toy of a golden retriever dog, looking 
cheaply made in appearance. Subjects describe the plush toy's 
body to feel unusually realistic. Touching the plush toy's fur is 
described to feel like dog's fur, touching the mouth is described to 
feel damp and sticky, and so on. 

Date of Recovery: 09-21-1992 

Location of Recovery: Dollar Store, , Louisiana 


Current Status: Recreational toy in Site 15 Lounge. 


Item Description: A 13 piece set of basic 12-inch rulers that when 
damaged emit a loud 'screeching' sound then begin to move away 
from the source of damage. 

Date of Recovery: 01- -20 

Location of Recovery: An abandoned Staples warehouse in 
Coppell, TX, formerly home toa sex cult and 

Current Status: Under testing. 


Item Description: It might be a coffee cup that could possibly cause 
all writing about it to be uncertain. 

Date of Recovery: 1999ish? 

Location of Recovery: Somewhere in Florida. 

Current Status: In storage. Possibly. 


Item Description: A nickel-plated pocket watch. Induces a mild 
trance state in observers when not being swung back and forth like 
a pendulum. 

Date of Recovery: 06- -20 

Location of Recovery: A flea market in Cairo. 

Current Status: Anomalous properties suppressed, safe to 
observe. 

Notes: Did somebody actually build a little machine to keep this 
thing swinging? | mean, nice job, | guess, but seriously, we could 
just keep it in a box. - Dr. Micah 


Item Description: A copper hoop (152 mm radius) with tubular rim 
(6.4 mm radius). A groove 1.6 mm wide runs along the inner 
surface. Three 25.4 mm bar magnets are attached to rails within the 
groove. These magnets are always equidistant and if given any 
momentum will rotate around the hoop at a constant velocity without 
slowing. Any attempt to extract mechanical energy from this system 
causes it to abruptly stop. All copies have failed to duplicate the 
perpetual motion of the original device. 

Date of Recovery: 08-08-1968 

Location of Recovery: Inventors convention, Las Vegas, Nevada 
Current Status: Engineering Research Lab, Site-19 


Item Description: A stack of 128 127 around 124 Aé4 printing 
papers printed with a variety of content, exact number of sheets 


undetermined. Every time the stack is counted, a single 1 to3 a 
small number of sheets (exact number undetermined and suspected 
to be random) will disappear. 

Date of Recovery: 05-11-2010 

Location of Recovery: Building, Shanghai, China. Original 
stack believed to have consisted of over 400 papers. 

Current Status: In storage. 


Item Description: A 10x10 cm piece of white cardstock bearing two 
equally-sized black dots. The dots remain adjacent to one another 
along the direction of the Earth’s equator, no matter which way the 
card is turned. Anomaly fails to manifest when paper is not held 
approximately parallel to the ground. 

Date of Recovery: 12-11- 

Location of Recovery: The PD forensics labs; retrieved from a 
deceased John Doe. 

Current Status: Laminated for preservation purposes, kept in 
storage. 


Item Description: A plastic milk jug which does not experience any 
gravitational forces. Milk was found to harbor no anomalous 


properties. 
Date of Recovery: 01-12-2015 
Location of Recovery: Recycling Center, -  , Argentina 


Current Status: Stolen. 


Item Description: A rock possessing telepathic capabilities with a 
range of a few meters. Mostly mulls over how bored it is. 
Communication appears to be one-way only. 

Date of Recovery: 09-01- 

Location of Recovery: Discovered during investigation of site of an 
anomalous event by MTF Psi-8 ("The Silencers"). Determined to be 
unattached to identifiable larger anomaly. 

Current Status: In storage. 

Notes: Took several hours to locate which rock was anomalous. My 
knees hurt. - Agent 


Item Description: A pig whose appearance is static and shifted 
downwards by ~.25 meters. Effect is purely visual. The image is as it 
was when the effect started. The effect was reported to have taken 
ahold instantly. 


Date of Recovery: - - 

Location of Recovery: Pig farm in ‘ 

Current Status: Kept as a pet on Site- by Junior Researcher 
Barem. 


Item Description: A mummified human foot in a clay jar. Thought to 
date back to the eighteenth dynasty of Egypt. Anomalous in that 
genetic testing matches the foot to one Daniel Eichtue-Heau, a 
resident of modern day California, who presently possesses both his 
feet. Eichtue-Heau is under surveillance. 

Date of Recovery: 06-13-20 

Location of Recovery: Found in the remains of a shrine to the 
Egyptian goddess Ma’at. 

Current Status: In storage. 

Notes: Eichtue-Heau’s left foot was severed in an industrial accident 
on 02-21-20 . Foot was seized by Foundation personnel and found 
to share numerous characteristics with the mummified foot. 
Currently held in cold storage. 


Item Description: A soft-boiled egg approx. 0.7 meters in height. 
Shell is tan in color and speckled with green. DNA testing 
inconclusive. 

Date of Recovery: 12-11- 

Location of Recovery: Retrieved from an illegally-operated 
restaurant in South America specializing in exotic foods. Other 
dishes on the menu included snow leopard, chimpanzee, wooly 
mammoth, human, and SCP-__. Reports indicate that two such eggs 
had already been served, and that the last was being reserved for a 
wealthy Chinese stockbroker. The egg was predicted to sell for 

Dign 3 


Current Status: Undergoing testing. 


Item Description: A printed image of a Jack Russell Terrier that 
invariably fools observers into believing they are perceiving a living 
dog of the same breed. Effect can be avoided by observing the 
image indirectly, such as through a mirror or camera. 

Date of Recovery: 09-04- 

Location of Recovery: A pet show in New Orleans. 

Current Status: Held in Site- kennels. Stored in Site- 
cognitohazard file containment. 


Item Description: A letter opener resembling a fifteen (15) cm long 
miniature claymore. Material is common low-grade stainless steel, 
the handle is lacquered oak. Material samples taken exhibit no 
unusual properties. The content of any envelope opened with it is 
transformed into a poem of appropriate content. Mission reports 
have been transformed into anything ranging in style from viking 
sagas to material akin to poems by the War Poets of World War 1, 
while clerical content usually turns into dadaist or absurdist poetry 
(especially anything produced by the accounting department of ) 
Date of Recovery: - -20 

Location of Recovery: ; 

Current Status: Kept in storage at site . Access is usually 
granted upon written request to Dr. and for Class A-C 
personnel. 


Item Description: A twin size mattress. Subjects who fall asleep on 
the mattress will invariably have a dream in which they are forced to 
consume a live walrus using only a fork and kitchen knife. Whether 
or not the subject succeeds in the dream appears to be 
inconsequential. 

Date of Recovery: 14-06-1983 

Location of Recovery: A furniture store in , England 

Current Status: In storage. 


Item Description: A box of 24 Crayola-brand pencils featuring 3 
pencils in colours that don't exist in nature. Listed on the box and on 
each respective pencil as "moiter," "emilet" and "cankri." These 
pencils work as expected. 

Date of Recovery: - - 

Location of Recovery: Recovered from a Manna Charitable 
Foundation establishment located in , Canada. 

Current Status: In storage. 

Notes: Probably memetic or something. Gives me a migraine to look 
at them. Pretty though. - Researcher 


Item Description: A 1:1 replica of a .338 caliber Accuracy 
International AWM sniper rifle, complete with bipod, telescopic sight, 
magazine, and internal mechanisms, constructed out of various 
unusually durable edible substances (a significant portion of which is 
chocolate cake). Despite its composition, item is fully functional as a 


SCP-897: Voodoo Organ Transplant