Within the burial mound, Foundation agents discovered 
SCP-287, SCP-287-1 and additional written materials 
dating back to the early 10th century CE. A transcription 
was created by Dr. Sigurd Olafsson. Unintelligible 
sections are most likely proper nouns with no direct 
translation. 


| am Halvor Skadison, Skald of [Unintelligible] 
and | have been trusted with the tale of Thor's 
champion, the Meteor Lord. 


In the depths of winter, the year after the great 


6. Local slang for SCP-2566 instances. 
« SCP-2565 | SCP-2566 | SCP-2567 » 


SCP-2567: A Kindly Corpse Warden 


Item #: SCP-2567 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2567 is to remain within 
the confines of its graveyard territory. The outskirts of SCP-2567's 
territory must be guarded by no fewer than four security personnel. 
In the event that SCP-2567 exits its territory, personnel are required 
to fire upon SCP-2567 to severely damage it and draw it back to its 
graveyard. 


SCP-2567 is to be herded away from visiting civilians by assigned 
field agents'. In the event that any civilian observes SCP-2567, they 
are to be administered class-A amnestics and removed from the 
cemetery perimeter. 


Description: SCP-2567 is a humanoid figure standing 2.57 meters 
in height, and weighing 85 kilograms. Its body is comprised of finely- 
knitted pale and dark grey straw. SCP-2567 wears a black tuxedo 
and petty coat and a wide-brimmed bowler's hat comprised of the 
same material. SCP-2567's face has several large bulbous eyes on 
its head. These eyes are not fixed in place, and SCP-2567 is able to 
shift them across its surface to point in a desired direction. 
SCP-2567's eyes emit a lavender-scented liquid that drastically 
accelerates floral growth when spread over a burial site. 


SCP-2567 resides within a cemetery 1.3 kilometers from the 
Site-12 Mt. Sugarloaf facility in Sunderland, Massachusetts, 
measuring 120 meters by 200 meters. It displays no unprompted 
aggression to living organisms and will display passive behavior 
unless its territory? is vandalized or violated in any way. This 
includes committing acts of grave robbery, littering, damaging 
headstones, and graffiti. 


When SCP-2567's territory is damaged or vandalized, it will attempt 


to repair any damaged components of the cemetery using the grey 
liquid it produces as an adhesive to reconstruct damaged 
headstones. 


All attempts to relocate SCP-2567 to a controlled facility have failed. 
When removed from its territory SCP-2567 will fall apart and 
dissolve, and a new instance of SCP-2567 will appear at its 
graveyard. 


SCP-2567 displays extreme resilience to damage and will not attack 
living individuals that attempt to damage it. If SCP-2567 sustains 
significant damage it will return to its graveyard and enter the central 
mausoleum where it will encase itself in a stone coffin. After 24 
hours, SCP-2567 will exit its coffin in a state of full repair. 
SCP-2567's mausoleum displays no anomalous properties on its 
own. The entrance has a plaque which reads: 


Jackson M. Maywall 

October 19th, 1936 - [UNINTELLIGIBLE] 

A kind-hearted public servant and friend to all who knew 
him. May his soul find eternal peace in the land of his 
love. 


Under the approval of level-2 administrative personnel an 
investigation into the whereabouts of the corpse of Maywall has 
been put underway. The agent assigned to investigating the 
possible link to SCP-2567 recorded the following conversation with a 
local grave keeper. 


+ Transcript From Agent E. Ville 
Interviewed: Harold F. Tanner, grave keeper 
Interviewer: Agent Franklin E. Ville 
Foreword: Agent Ville questioned several 
inhabitants around the town of Sunderland, 
Massachusetts, before concluding his 


investigation with an interview with one of the 
night-shift grave keepers of the town. 


<Begin Log> 


Agent Ville: So, I've asked around, and you 
seem to have been the closest person to the 
late Mr. Maywall. Is that true? 


Harold Tanner: Aye, yeah. You could say 
closest, but to be fair he was everyone's 
friend. Real kind man, he was. 


Agent Ville: Right. So I've come to gather that 
he was an admired figure in the community, 
yeah? 


Harold Tanner: Absolutely! He and his wife 
worked in the library, down by the corner store. 
They kept the place colorful. The kids loved 
‘em. 


Agent Ville: Can you tell me about them? 
Jackson and his wife, | mean. | haven't heard 
much about the wife from anyone. 


Harold Tanner: Mmhm. Yeah... Sure, | can 
tell you whatever you need. Care if |aska 
question of my own? 


Agent Ville: Not at all. Ask away. 


Harold Tanner: Why're you asking around 
about the Maywalls? Extended family get into 
some trouble? 


Agent Ville: Not at all. Jackson knew my mom 
when she was a little girl, she told me a lot of 
stories, just thought I'd come ask about, then 
pay my respects. 


Harold Tanner: Mm... Good a reason as ever. 
Anyways... Georgia Maywall was a nice 
enough woman. Real religious, but Jackson 
never was. They had a lot of differences, but 


you couldn't ask for a closer couple. 


Agent Ville: That sounds nice. Not many 
people get that any more. 


Harold Tanner: Mmhm. It was real nice, up 
until a few years back. She'd gotten liver 
cancer, but Jackson stayed with her all the 
way through. Wouldn't leave her side for more 
than a few hours, right up 'til the end. 


Agent Ville: And after she'd passed away? 


Harold Tanner: Well, he didn't last much 
longer after she passed, maybe three years? 
He died in bed, though. Died happy, with some 
of his oldest friends by his side. 


Agent Ville: What about before he died? What 
was he doing then? 


Harold Tanner: Well, afterwards... He 
dropped his job at the library, and took one up 
where Georgia was buried, as the day time 
tender. Kept things tidy in the cemetery. It's a 
bit of a grim job, but he always smiled. | guess, 
in a way, he really was with her until the very 
end. 


Agent Ville: | guess we should all hope to be 
that lucky. My grandfather died overseas a 
long time back. So, did anyone see Maywall 
much during his time in the cemetery? 


Harold Tanner: Oh boy, yeah, plenty! We all 
visited him, couple of times a week at least but 
he spent every day in the cemetery. Every 
Thursday, he'd bring a bouquet of lavenders to 
her headstone, and spend the evening reading 
to her. I'm sure he'd have given anything to 
pass on, right there next to her. | can't imagine 


how it must've been for him, losin' the closest 
person he's ever had. 


Agent Ville: | certainly couldn't imagine it. | 
should probably be hitting the road soon, but | 
want to thank you for taking the time to talk 
with me. 


Harold Tanner: Ain't a problem... Any friend 
of the Maywalls is welcome to take my time as 
they please. 


<End Log> 


Closing Statement: As per investigations 
regarding the Maywall family, SCP-2567 
displays thematic similarities to Jackson 
Maywall before his passing such as the 
lavenders Jackson would leave at Georgia's 
grave, and the lavender-colored fluid that leaks 
from SCP-2567's eyes, as well as its constant 
presence in the area surrounding both 
Jackson and Georgia's grave and mausoleum. 


1. Field agents assigned to SCP-2567 are to be supplied with false 


ID's and deployed under cover as cemetery tenders. 
2. As defined by the cemetery borders. 


« SCP-2566 | SCP-2567 | SCP-2568 » 


SCP-2568: Snap To Grid 


Item #: SCP-2568 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: Each instance of SCP-2568 is 
to be contained in a cubical enclosure constructed of 9 smaller 
cubes. Each smaller box will be 10 centimeters on each side, with 
an error of at most 0.1 centimeters. It must be kept in a room with 
walls at least 10 cm thick. Paths from the object to the walls, floor, 
and ceiling should be kept clear of objects that might be harmed by 
a steel ball appearing inside them. 


Following incident SCP-2568-C, if multiple instances are contained 
within the same room, they are to be spaced apart at distances 
which are not multiples of 5 centimeters. 


A magnet of sufficient strength to counteract the force of gravity 
exactly at the center of the central box is to be placed at the top of 
the containment apparatus, along with variable strength 
electromagnets placed on all four sides, connected to the in-box 
sensors, in order to cancel out any virtual velocity the item might 
pick up. 


Each box is to be equipped with three laser or ultrasonic 
rangefinders, one on each axis, pointed at the center of the box. 
Note: See Addendum 2568-A regarding the use of ultrasonic 
rangefinders. The distance measurements from these sensors are to 
be continuously monitored by an automatic program and used to 
adjust the strength of the magnets in the case of the item moving. 
The calibration of the magnets and sensors is to be checked during 
regular monthly maintenance. Continuous human monitoring is 
considered wasteful and unnecessary at this time. 


In the event that the item acquires a significant velocity and the 
electromagnetic containment apparatus does not contain it, it will 


almost certainly lodge itself in the chamber walls or some other solid 
object, from which it can easily be retrieved; for this reason, it has 
been classified as Safe. 


SCP-2568-1 is non-anomalous anomalous but classified as Safe. It 
is extremely old; as such, it should be kept in a glass or ceramic 
case with a neutral pressure argon atmosphere to prevent any 
degradation, as per normal Foundation Archives protocol. It should 
not be removed except for experimentation. Full transcriptions of its 
surface markings are to be stored in redundant electronic and 
physical forms so as to prevent any possible loss of information. 


Description: SCP-2568 is a collection of twenty-nine (29) twenty- 
seven (27) steel balls exactly 3 centimeters in diameter. Instances of 
SCP-2568 appear to have no anomalous properties except that they 
move only in increments of 5 centimeters along their axes and rotate 
only in increments of 45 degrees around their axes. 


When a force is applied to an SCP-2568 object, it acquires a 
"virtual" velocity; that is, if a force were applied which would 
accelerate it to 1 cm/s, it would rest in place for 5 seconds, then 
teleport 5 centimeters in the direction in which the force was applied. 


Note by Dr. M _ : This is, of course, relative to the planet Earth. If 
not, each of these things would be constantly hopping about and 
flashing as the planet turns and moves through space. I'd love to get 
one of these out into the Moon's gravity well and see what happens! 


Note by O5- : Request denied. That's a little more expense than we 
can stomach for a Safe at this time. 


As mentioned above, these items cannot move except along three 
perpendicular axes. The vertical axis is oriented upwards (that is, 
toward and away from Earth's gravitational center), but the two 
horizontal axes are not aligned to gravity, magnetic fields, or any 
other obvious means of directional determination. The axes are fixed 
and cannot be changed by any means so far devised. 


Note by Dr. D : There are two major schools of thought on these 
axes at this time. | am of the opinion that their orientation was 
probably set during production, but Dr.M _ thinks they are 


fundamental to the universe in some way. | don't think there is any 
way to know without additional items that act in a similar manner, 
but | wouldn't try telling him that. It's become almost like a religion 
with him. Typical theoretician crap. 


When one of the objects does move, it emits a flash of 
electromagnetic radiation in all spectra at the destination, the 
brightness of which scales linearly with the object's virtual velocity. 
Dr.M _ is currently working on the initial stages of a test to 
determine if useful energy can be extracted from this process; for 
now, he has advised all personnel handling the items to be careful 
not to accelerate them to too great a velocity, as they could 
theoretically produce harmful radiation. 


Addendum 2568-A: Initial recovery. 
+ View 


The first example of SCP-2568 was recovered from its 
resting place in the tomb of in. During initial 
containment at Provisional Site, the object's position 
was measured with consumer-grade ultrasonic 
rangefinders due to availability. The sound waves 
emitted during their operation imparted a virtual velocity 
to the object which eventually caused it to "hop" out of 
the containment tent, through several meters of air, and 
into the cereal bowl of amember of MTF during 
breakfast, causing surprise and distress but no injuries. 
Henceforth, only laser rangefinders are to be used in 
containment to prevent this kind of incident in the future. 


Addendum 2568-B: Recovery of later samples. 
+ View 


Further excavation of the tomb of has revealed 
twenty-eight (28) additional items with the same 
properties, hereby classified as additional instances of 
SCP-2568. They were found in various positions on 
SCP-2568-1, a square piece of very hard, ornately 
carved and painted oak wood, about 4 cm thick, with 


1.5 cm hemispherical divots spaced 5cm apart in an 8x8 
grid. 


Once it was determined to be non-anomalous, 
Foundation researchers posing as a private collector 
released SCP-2568-1 to civilian anthropologists at the 
British Royal and the Institute, who 
determined that it was almost certainly a game board 
and that it was atleast 1 years old. 


Note by Dr. D : This explains why it was in the tomb, 
and why it existed in the first place, but raises some 
other questions; did the ancient have such 
advanced technology that such things as SCP-2568 
could be used frivolously? If not, how did they come to 
posses so many of these things? Perhaps they were 
used to measure out the precise distances required for 
the construction of the of ? | recommend further 
investigation of the tomb. 


Addendum 2568-C: Incident log. 
+ View 
Incident 2568-C 


Situation: 

Two instances of SCP-2568 _ in_ their 
containment boxes were placed in the same 
secure locker area, one above the other. As 
the standard lockers at Facility are 5 
centimeters tall, when the power supply on the 
upper object's containment apparatus failed, it 
gained a virtual velocity due to the force of 
gravity and fell through the top of the second 
container's box. The sensors in that container 
detecting both objects triggered a bug in the 
the control program which caused it to emit the 
maximum values’ for the associated 
electromagnets, applying a very high force to 
the lower SCP-2568 instance. When the upper 


raid, we saw a fiery meteor in the sky. It 
landed deep in the heart of the northern 
wastes, and we followed it. 


A wondrous thing it was, gleaming, and 
covered in ghost-lights. We approached, and 
found a man standing in a heavy cloak, 
examining the meteor. The ghost-lights went 
dark, and the figure pressed his hand to the 
outside of the star. A wondrous light filled our 
eyes, as the star opened. 


He disappeared into the meteor, and emerged 
to look at us with such fiery determination in 
his eyes, we knew he could only be a king, 
sent to us from Odin himself. He would protect 
us from the raids, and we would know 
prosperity again. Our prayers had been 
answered. 


Daily did the elders of our village come to his 
resting site, but his own tongue was blessed 
only to speak the language of the Aesir. 
Weeks passed, as he learned our language. 
When he learned of our plight, he appeared to 
grow angry, and charged back to the meteor, 
to fashion himself a mighty weapon, with which 
to defend the village.