SCP-1658 is capable of living on several materials, such as wood 
and plaster; however, the preferred habitat of SCP-1658 is paper, 
particularly printed matter. When a suitable habitat is found and 
colonized, SCP-1658 takes on the appearance of printed characters 
from various alphabets. SCP-1658 generates a hallucinatory effect; 
"text" created by SCP-1658 appears to "shift" appearances 
depending on the individual(s) viewing it. The effect is apparently 
random; for example, a native of Brazil may find an instance of 
SCP-1658 imitating Portuguese, while an individual fluent in both 
English and Spanish may find himself encountering text printed in 
Aramaic in the same instance. Photography has shown that the 


"actual" appearance of SCP-1658 resembles several languages, the 
most common including Binary, Mandarin Chinese, Greek, and 
English. Most texts generated by SCP-1658 are gibberish, with few 
coherent instances identified. 


The spores of SCP-1658 produce a powerful trichothecene 
mycotoxin similar to that produced by S. charatarum. When inhaled, 
SCP-1658's spores cause coughing, sneezing, nausea, and 
dizziness; if not treated, exposure can lead to chronic respiratory 
problems and other symptoms (See Addendum). Spores are 
capable of surviving in a human respiratory tract for up to 5 days, 
giving ample time for exposure to new material. 


Recovery Detaiis Sample of Text Notes 
Recovered from a Blue monkeys shit Possible link to the 
scroll in a Spanish shrimp. University the Library of Alexandria, 
Monastery dated to | [illegible] makes which some sources 
the second century | Babylon, which shall) say was partially 
C.E; Text presented) fall. Our laughing destroyed by Julius 
as Cyrillic. explodes into the Caesar around 

universe at the speed 48 B.C.E. Consulting 
of Alexandria. Subject 911-1 about 
Negative 48/17/6 the the possible origins of 
ides paid their SCP-1658 has been 
fines.Alex Alexander, proposed. 
Alex Al Al friend Al al 
al al al al alcohol 
alchemist algebra 
blame the pork. We 
have bone scouted 
trough this plain. value 
of authorities Capacity 
Found in an untitled | why so many dead | The Library of 
Arabic manuscript why so many dead | Alexandria was 
dating to 680 C.E. you will pay we live on believed to have been 
and on and on we live completely destroyed 
forever for alexandria approximately 20-40 
years before this 
document was made. 


Found in an original 
copy of the United 
States Constitution 
recovered from the 
National Archives. 


Found on a pamphlet 
advertising the New 
York Society for the 
Suppression of Vice, 
circa 1916; first 


discovered instance of than that, but we wish 


SCP-1658 
contamination. 
Recovered from the 
New York Public 
Library archives 
SCP-1658 


contamination foundjinpieces. ashes to 


a copy of the Daily 
Mail, printed May 2, 
1945; altered text 
translated from 
Hebrew. 


Found in Wilhelm 
Reich's "The Sexual 
Revolution" in 1957, 
recovered ina 
bookstore in Vienna, 
Austria 


Article XX: Stop all the N/A 
fire the works the 

burning we just want it 

to stop. Our homes 

are broken, the 

museum must be kept 
clean. The books must 


be sheived 
[EXPLETIVES The NYSSV was one 
REDACTED] YOU of the most infamous 


ALL TO BENEATH. 
we do not wish you to 
burn, we wish far less 


censorship agencies 
in the history of the 
United States, 
responsible for several 
you to STOP stop the hundred book 
maddnes [sic] and seeburnings. 

the light you need us 


20894-30454 burnin The headline for the 
date in question was 
ashes and bite the "HITLER DEAD- 
dust. | knew that they DOENITZ 

body would not not notAPPOINTED 

not not not not FUHRER". 
[continues for two 

pages] be found. for 

all of our brother 

powerknowledge who 

have joined us, 

avenge yourself, for 

you were been not- 

murdered. welcome 

KNOWLEDGE 

SCREAM SCREAM | Several of Wilhelm 
SCREAM FOR THE) Reich's works were 
DEAD SCREAM FOR burned following his 
ALL THE DEAD trial in 1956. It is 
DAMN THE JUDGE} considered one of the 
DAMN THE JURY worst cases of 


DAMN THE censorship in US 
EXECUTIONER history. 

Found in a 1967 copy evenwhenitiswritteniihUxATRAITOR. 

of Fahrenheit 451 by KNOWLEDGE is 

Ray Bradbury, forever this forever 

presented in binary | irony needs to strike 

and ongoing for 4 this TRAITOR must 


pages BURN 
Found on a bathroom we will succeed, or we A Muslim group had 
wall ina will succeed. failure | recently bought the 


Department Store inja was never an option! entire stock of "The 
New York shopping | KNOWLEDGE and | Satanic Verses" from 
mall, 1989, presented the world needs us. it a bookstore in the 
in [DATA always needed us same mall, and had 
EXPUNGED] POWER it will always burned them in the 
need us no matter parking lot of the mall 
how much it seems to in protest. 
hate us it needs us for 
without us they 
crumble we may not 
be the truth but we are 
still a truth and we are 
still needed 
KNOWLEDGEPOWERKNOWLEDGEPOWERKNOV 
Recovered ina copy) we will not give up no A copy of the Qur'an 
of Qur'an in Florida, | matter what happens was intended to be 
United States, 20 we shall stopthis burned in protest to 
stopthis [DATA EXPUNGED]. 
stopthisknowledgepow Ewertiwasges aderknowledge 
after several pleas 
from across the 
country. 


Addendum: Incident 1658-05 


Test#: 1658-05 

Test Subject: D-5832, Caucasian male, age 57, chosen 
due to a strong immune system. 

Procedures: D-5832 was purposefully exposed to 
spores of SCP-1658 in order to test symptoms of 


resultant fungal infection. Subject developed fungal 
pneumonia as well as a form of foot fungus resembling 
tinea pedis (athlete's foot), but more severe. Symptoms 
developed over the course of 16 days, during which the 
subject was denied fungicidal medicine, instead given 
placebo. Subject reported chronic coughing and difficulty 
breathing, as well as black, ink-like mucous discharge. 


20 days after infection, fungal growths on skin resembled 
the word "ALEX" printed several times in at least 6 
distinct languages. Subject discharged mucus almost 
constantly, and required respiratory system to be drained 
via tubing. Testing showed that 1mL of mucus contained 
several billion SCP-1658 spores. 


Exposure of spores to several tissues used by subject 
produced over a dozen colonies of SCP-1658 all of 
which display the same message, in English: 


"IS THIS OUR FATE" 


All materials subsequently burned. Following burning, an 
outbreak of SCP-1658 was found in the Foundation 
Archives, contaminating over original documents with 
the message "WE WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS". 
Documents have since been destroyed; replacements 
were made from digital copies. 


Following Incident 1658-05, uncontained instances of SCP-1658 has 


shown increased levels of resistance to BMK. In addition, in the 
event of burning SCP-1658 contaminated materials, there is a 
chance that some spores of SCP-1658 will scatter before ignition, 


and attempt to enter the respiratory system of any human within a 
km radius. It is unknown if the events of Incident 1658-05 and this 


new behavior have any correlation. 


« SCP-1657 | SCP-1658 | SCP-1659 » 


SCP-1659: Directorate K 


Item #: SCP-1659 
Object Class: Keter 


Special Containment Procedures: Level 3/1659 clearance staff 
are limited to interaction in the field with SCP-1659y instances. Per 
the terms of the 9 Mile Station Protocol, all interaction with 
SCP-1659a and SCP-16598 instances must be conducted through 
recognized diplomatic channels in the Department of External 
Affairs. The currently recognized ambassador to SCP-1659 is Dr. 
Danamir al-Qahtani. 


Due to the widespread nature of SCP-1659, containment is focused 
on suppressing public knowledge of the true purpose of activities 
carried out by SCP-1659 instances. Priority is to be given to 
activities with the greatest risk of resulting in violations of the 9 Mile 
Station Protocol. In keeping with Protocol requirements, any non- 
observational research of SCP-1659 is prohibited without express 
permission of the Department of External Affairs. 


Research staff must update the list of known SCP-1659 instances 
and the SCP-1659 Organizational Chart weekly to reflect current 
information. Recruiting preference for SCP-1659 personnel is to be 
given to those with backgrounds in sociology, political science, 
diplomacy, organizational theory, and culinary criticism. 


Description: SCP-1659 is a quasi-governmental organization 
transcending all known political boundaries and divisions. This 
organization is made up of at least 315,449 individuals who possess 
the inherent sense that they are part of a large, governing 
organization known to its members as "Directorate K". Individuals 
affected by SCP-1659 demonstrate knowledge not only of the 
existence of this organization, but which specific sub-unit they 
belong to, and a detailed sense of their duties to be carried out as 
part of SCP-1659. Interviews with affected subjects suggest that this 


knowledge is spontaneously obtained through unknown means, 
usually between the ages of 17-32. Once a subject is affected by 
SCP-1659, no known means are effective in eliminating knowledge 
of "Directorate K" short of systemic neurological damage or death. 
Individuals from throughout the world appear to be affected by 
SCP-1659 at random. 


The organizational structure of SCP-1659 is highly complex, and 
appears to have no overarching goal or purpose. Sub-units within 
SCP-1659 are given titles and ostensible missions; however, the 
work performed by members of a designated sub-unit often has no 
discernible connection with that unit's stated purpose. Foundation 
researchers have documented 1,297 sub-units to date. Apart from 
"Directorate K" serving as a central administering entity, the 
relationships of these sub-units to one another is currently 
impossible to determine; hierarchies appear to change regularly, 
and reorganizations of these units happen frequently. 


Individuals affected by SCP-1659 frequently spend significant 
amounts of time at seemingly pointless tasks. Documented 
examples include: 


* A retired electrician identifying himself as a technician 
attached to the "Office of Slime Mold Production" repeatedly 
spinning a coin on the ground at a crowded bus stop in 
Toronto, Canada. 

¢ Three individuals claiming to work for the "Ennui Control 

Bureau" traveling throughout rural southwestern Slovakia, 

counting any observed instances of Muscardinus avellanarius 

(common dormouse), and text-messaging the results to a 

phone number listed at the Japanese Embassy in Lima, 

Perul. 

A "Fifteenth Vinyl Division" work crew in a privately-owned 

truck traveling to traffic intersections in various towns in South 

Gyeongsang Province, South Korea, cleaning signs related to 

pedestrian safety. 

° , police chief of , Bolivia and confirmed SCP-1659 
subject, continually building in his backyard a crude antenna 
structure 4 m in height out of tinfoil, disassembling it, and 
reassembling it. 


* Aself-described "official meeting" of the "People's Governing 
Board of Gall Bladder Health" consisting of a spontaneous 
gathering of 28 individuals in a remote region of the Mojave 
Desert in California, United States, culminating in the 
detonation of an explosive device estimated to be equivalent 
to 500 kg of TNT.2 


Individuals affected by SCP-1659 are not compelled in any 
discernible manner to perform their assigned "duties". However, 
subjects are almost always highly motivated to carry out tasks 
assigned by SCP-1659, and affected individuals display behavioral 
traits and attitudes commonly associated with organizations 
displaying high levels of morale and team cohesion. 


While observed activity of SCP-1659 subjects at the individual level 
appears to have no logical purpose, broader contextual analysis has 
revealed that SCP-1659 exhibits a profound ability to affect world 
commodities market fluctuations, cultural trends (particularly those 
related to food), real estate development, movement of refugee 
populations, and, to a limited extent, deployment of military assets. 
SCP-1659 is believed to achieve this through a combination of the 
sum total of the tasks its subjects carry out, its ownership stake in a 
collection of strategic private firms, and its placement of subjects in 
posts at all levels of government. In most cases, influence exercised 
by SCP-1659 is subtle and does not deviate significantly from 
general societal expectations, though this is theorized to be partly 
attributable to SCP-1659's agreement to abide by the 9 Mile Station 
Protocol. An exception appears to be trends in fine dining and 
culinary technology, upon which SCP-1659 has exercised profound 
effects. Many world-renowned restaurants are either owned or 
financed by SCP-1659, including in Paris, France; in 
Osaka, Japan, and in Catalonia, Spain. 


Subjects affected by SCP-1659 are present throughout the world, 
and generally fall into three observed categories: 


¢ SCP-1659a: These individuals occupy leadership positions 
within SCP-1659, analogous to agency directors, minor 
political leaders, and other high-ranking officials. 
Approximately 2% of SCP-1659 are classed in this manner. 
Members of Directorate K itself, believed to be the central 


authority of SCP-1659, are part of this group, and are believed 
to number between 100-120 individuals at present. 

¢ SCP-1659B: An estimated 15% of SCP-1659 instances 
belong to this class. These individuals tend to be tasked with 
duties resembling those of a mid-level official, and are usually 
supervisory or quasi-independent in nature. Many individuals 
in this group hold positions of authority in established 
governments at all levels throughout the world. , former 
Prime Minister of Gambia before being removed by 
Foundation operatives in the wake of Incident 1659A MIKE, is 
believed to have been one of these individuals. 

* SCP-1659y: The vast majority of SCP-1659 fall under this 
classification. These individuals perform tasks associated with 
the various sub-units of SCP-1659, and are thus the most 
likely to come to the attention of Foundation assets. While 
SCP-1659y instances are drawn from a wide array of sources, 
a high proportion of these individuals are transients, inmates 
at penal or mental health institutions, or others that 
traditionally live outside mainstream society. 


The ultimate strategic aims or goals of SCP-1659, if any exist, are 
unknown at this time. 


Addendum 1659-A: Summary of 9 Mile Station Protocol 


Foundation researchers discovered SCP-1659 in 1983 after an 
investigation into reports of seventeen unaffiliated individuals 
chasing stray dogs through the streets of Budapest, Hungary with 
brooms, mops, and various cleaning implements. These reports 
coincided with a Soviet Union-organized economic conference 
occurring in the city at the same time. 


From 1983 to 1997, field research was conducted through standard 
clandestine means, yielding information suggesting that the scope of 
SCP-1659 and its potential effects on established society rendered it 
inherently uncontainable. SCP-1659 was accordingly classified 
Keter and assigned slot #14 on the Prioritized Threat Register. 
Given the nature of SCP-1659, Research Director Dr. Franz H. 
Ambroz attempted to establish formal diplomatic relations with 
SCP-1659. 


On September 1, 1998, a letter was received at the address 
established by Dr. Ambroz for official contacts, purporting to be from 
the "Directorate K Null Consulate". The letter stated SCP-1659's 
acceptance of an invitation to discuss formal relations between it 
and the Foundation, and a summit was scheduled for later that year.