warysue: it's starting to Happen 
heartshapeddoxx: is this like a new goof or 
something 

heartshapeddoxx: I'm so out of the loop 
kkrule: hi HSD are you new 

warysue: it's very much Not A Goof . 
bones: Heartshapeddoxx is an older member 
of the chat, from before my time here. From 
what | understand, he played a large part in its 
creation. This is his second time back since 
you joined, kkrule. 

warysue: this is a movement | started to get 
justice for a Dead Friend of mine 
heartshapeddoxx: haa yea and | don't even 


remember the last time 

heartshapeddoxx: oh shit I'm sorry 

warysue: it's ok . you didn't know unlike s 
warysue: unlike Some People 
lesbian_gengar: so are you trending or 
tiedyeduck: | thought we sorted this, wary. 
kkrule: oh shit i remember that i hope it does 
well 

bluntfiend: .botsnack some good fuckin 
oatmeal 

warysue: lesbian_gengar: not yet but it's really 
built since the article hit so fingers crossed 
orbhorse: dude how baked are you we 
haven't had a bot in like years 

bluntfiend: Whhh? 

warysue: tiedyeduck: sorry dude yeah I'm just 
Still Angry and I'm putting that on you 
heartshapeddoxx: did you fuckin see i was 
Online and time-teleport back to like 2008 
kkrule: just tweeted about it warysue! 
bluntfiend: Where's oinky friend ;_; 

warysue: I'm going to go up to the station and 
let them know What's Coming . 
heartshapeddoxx: ren and me are working on 
it, blunt. Janitors have her rn so github updates 
are a no-go 

warysue: these pigs are gonna Regret not 
listening to me 

<- warysue left 

bluntfiend: Pigs? :D 


+ Snippet 4: 11/11/2021 


polaricecraps: this is fucking horseshit ok you 
go on about not wanting to draw attention but 
we draw attention like nobody's business 
bluntfiend alone is probably like triple on the 
janitor's radar already 

harmpit: perison bwloe triple rdaar 
polaricecraps: and we've already DONE shit 


like this we got those guys caught when 
4chambers was killed and she was like barely 
a member 

lesbian_gengar: hey whoah let's not throw 
shade at the dead 

bluntfiend: Lest the dead dab back. 
polaricecraps: like if it'd been an exception 
cos it was Dove I'd have understood man but 
you're telling me we can hijack the fuckin 
hashtag tearjerk market for someone who said 
like four lines max in main but we can't 
leverage that same shit to defend ourselves 
from the nazi fucks trying to kick our damn 
door down 

bones: Op order, drop this now. 
Lesbian_gengar has it right, speaking ill of the 
dead is in very bad taste. 4chambers may not 
have participated to your knowledge, but | can 
inform you she was very much a member of 
our community. 

warysue: whatever , not like it matters not 
warysue: nothing Changed . 

polaricecraps: dropped but | wanna talk about 
this again when I've cooled off 

bones: That is acceptable. 

kkrule: i know you don't feel that way wary but 
the men who did it got caught and they're in 
jail now so it did make a difference 
lesbian_gengar: don't, kk 

warysue: only two of them . Other guy walked 
away Scott Free . And they only got twenty 
years, w chance for parole in fucking "024 
warysue: *2024 

bluntfiend: You can rest easy knowing you 
did all you could, wary. It's tough, but you went 
above and beyond and got a result, even if it's 
not the one you hoped for. 

lesbian_gengar: christ just let it rest it's ok for 
stuff to be shit sometimes 

warysue: no it's ok , they're trying to help im 


warysue I'm sorry I'm being A Bummer 
polaricecraps: sorry for being a dick about it 
warysue: shut up craps you were 
Unbelievably Insensitive 

polaricecraps: yeh fair 

bones: We cannot miss her as much as you 
do, warysue, but we miss her all the same. 
The list of our fallen friends is not tiered. 
bluntfiend: That's a list that's way too long. 
lesbian_gengar: mm 

polaricecraps: and it'll be longer if we don't 
start utilising our shit to stop the wolves at our 
door 

bones: Final warning, polaricecraps. 

<- polaricecraps left 

warysue: I'm actually uh , 

warysue: | think I'll go down to her grave , now 
I'm thinking about it 

bluntfiend: Good plan. Say hi from us, yeah? 
warysue: yeah , will do d 

warysue: Does anyone have anything in 
particular they want me to pass on ? | can 
write it down on some paper n leave it there 
tiedyeduck: I've actually got something. Is 
that ok? 

warysue: course it is 

tiedyeduck: Ok, awesome. Tell her this: 

<- you disconnected 


Other works by Rimple 


SCP-2779, Rating: 187 
SCP-3880, Rating: 169 
SCP-2338, Rating: 153 
SCP-2559, Rating: 145 
SCP-948, Rating: 134 
Operation OverMeta, Rating: 120 
SCP-3559, Rating: 71 
SCP-3772, Rating: 68 


SCP-3373, Rating: 56 
SCP-3224, Rating: 46 
Headache, Rating: 30 
This Year, Rating: 19 


Footnotes 
1. This factor is hugely increased when artist signatures and 
watermarks have been removed from the content 


SCP-3773: 9,000 Lives 


Item #: SCP-3773 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3773-14 is contained ina 
small animal containment cell on sub-level 13 of Site-87. Enrichment 
activities with SCP-3773-14 are to be carried out by containment 
staff at least thee times per day. SCP-3773-14's diet does not differ 
substantially from a non-anomalous feline's; however, all 
manifestations of SCP-3773-14 are lactose intolerant. Outside 
materials, such as pet brushes and toys, are to be fully 
decontaminated prior to their introduction to SCP-3773-14, to 
prevent a possible repeat of incident 3773-13. 


In the event of SCP-3773-14's death, SCP-3773 is to be kept in 
storage for no more than sixty days; a new cat is to be introduced to 
SCP-3773 and designated SCP-3773-15, with the containment 
procedures appropriately updated when SCP-3773's anomalous 
effects manifest. 


Description: SCP-3773 is a collar made of linen rope. Chemical 
analysis of SCP-3773 has shown that the fibers of linen contain 
hairs from at least 200 distinct domesticated felines; the oldest 
specimen of hair identified dates to approximately 2025BCE. A pair 
of brass clasps have been added to SCP-3773, possibly due to the 
wear of the original binding mechanism. SCP-3773 exhibits a mild 
cognitohazard; if an individual interacts with SCP-3773 with the 
intent to destroy it, they will place it down on the nearest safe 
surface and disregard it until they are out of sight of SCP-3773. 


SCP-3773's anomalous properties manifest when it is affixed to the 
neck of a member of the species Felis catus, designated SCP-3773- 
#. SCP-3773 cannot be removed until the death of the SCP-3773-# 
instance, and its dimensions will grow and shrink so that SCP-3773 
is always fit close to the skin of the SCP-3773-14 instance, without 


causing discomfort. The SCP-3773-# instance will begin to show 
biological changes consistent with felines that have worn SCP-3773 
in the past whose DNA has come into contact with SCP-3773.1 It is 
estimated that SCP-3773 can ‘store’ the biological information of at 
least eighteen different cats at a time. 


SCP-3773-# instances show a capability to alter themselves to have 
traits of several different felines, seemingly at will. Fur color, eye 
color, length and presence of a tail, and biological sex are all 
variable in SCP-3773-# instances; however, all instances of 
SCP-3773-# are uniformly lactose intolerant, even if the felines 
SCP-3773-# takes the form of were not. These shifts in form are 
accompanied by changes in behavior, including preference in food, 
changes in responses to stimuli such as petting and high-pitched 
noises, and responding to different names. Litters birthed by 
SCP-3773-# will have offspring genetically identical to felines 
currently 'stored' in SCP-3773. 


The default 'form' of SCP-3773-# instances seems to be a chimeric 
mixture of all genetic information currently present in SCP-3773; fur 
will often appear to be in a patchwork pattern, eye colors are often 
heterochromatic, and in some cases, several tails, all functional, can 
appear. 


Addendum: Incident 3773-13: Dr. Cassandra Pike, a parazoologist 
at Site-87, was given permission to bring items that belonged to her 
cat for the purposes of enriching SCP-3773-14, including a 
hairbrush, toy mice, and a ‘dingle ball’. Dr. Pike's cat died in August 
2015 under unknown circumstances. Dr. Pike was allowed to 
interact with SCP-3773-14 for the purposes of studying behavior. 


In January of 2016, the following audio was recorded in Site-87's 
containment wing: 


Dr. Jacob Kola: Hey, Cassie. Here to play with 
Mongrel?2 

Dr. Cassandra Pike: Today's my last day with them, 
actually— for a while, at least. Flying out to Oregon to 
help Dr. Hendricks get acclimated with his new job. 

Dr. Kola: Go right in. 

(Sound of a buzzer, followed by the containment airlock 


opening, followed by approximately seventy seconds of 
silence, before in-cell intercom is buzzed.) 

Dr. Pike: Jake, you have to see this, right now. 

Dr. Kola: What's the matter? 

Dr. Pike: 3773-14, Mongrel, whatever you want to call 
it... it looks just like my cat. My dead cat. (Dr. Pike 
sounds shaken) It looks just like Oliver. Sounds like him, 
too. 

Dr. Kola: That's impossible. Your cat was never in 
contact with 3773, it couldn't have gotten its genetic 
signature. 

Dr. Pike: Then why... why does it look like my cat? What 
the fuck? 

Dr. Kola: There have to be millions of tortoiseshell cats 
out there, Cassandra. Calm down. 

(Several seconds of silence) 

Dr. Pike: How physically detailed are the things that 
3773 makes? 

Dr. Kola: Why do you ask? 

Dr. Pike: Oliver had a rib that never healed right when | 
got him; some jackass kicked him or something. Made a 
big bump in his right side, under the skin. | want to see if 
it's there. 

Dr. Kola: Go ahead. 

Dr. Pike: Hey, hey Ollie. Oliver. Come here, Ollie. Oh my 
god, Jake, it came when | called his name. Come here, 
come to momma, come here... 

(Ten seconds of nonsensical noises from Dr. Pike, 
showing affection to SCP-3773-14, before ceasing 
suddenly) 

Dr. Pike: Oh my god. It's there. The bump's there. His 
little broken rib. (Dr. Pike begins crying.) What the hell, 
Jake. What the hell. 


Subsequent testing showed that exposure to any feline DNA, not 
necessarily felines that have worn SCP-3773, has a potential 
chance of SCP-3773 cataloging it. To date, three felines have been 
cataloged in SCP-3773 in this manner, including Dr. Pike's own cat. 


Addendum: Following Dr. Pike's return from Oregon in February 


2016, her work with SCP-3773-14 resumed. SCP-3773-14 would 
often take the form of Dr. Pike's deceased cat, much to her distress. 
For the purposes of this document, this form of SCP-3773-14 is 
designated SCP-3773-14A. 


Dr. Pike requested a full-time assignment to SCP-3773-14's 
research staff for a period of three months, suspending two other 
non time-sensitive projects. This request was approved by Dr. Adam 
Larrsenn, current head of cryptozoological and parazoological 
studies at Site-87. However, Dr. Pike's behavior turned highly 
abnormal after one week of study; Dr. Pike spent increasing 
amounts of time with SCP-3773-14, and at one point, fell asleep in 
SCP-3773-14's cell, risking the containment of two other anomalous 
items stored on the same level. For this, Dr. Pike was reprimanded, 
but did not have her clearance rescinded. 


The following conversation is recorded to have taken place between 
Dr. Pike and her significant other, Dr. Claude Mattings, at 1:12 AM 
on March 19th, 2016: 


Dr. Mattings: Cassandra, where are you going? It's the 
middle of the night. 

Dr. Pike: I'm just going out to the Meijer.3 | have a 
craving for Twinkies, and they're the only place in town 
that's open this late. 

Dr. Mattings: Going to the grocery store doesn't require 
a security pass, Cass. 

Dr. Pike: Signing out with the night receptionist does. 
Dr. Mattings:...the elevator to the surface is that way. 
You're heading down to containment again, aren't you? 
Dr. Pike: What the hell do you want from me, Claude? 
That's my cat down there. You remember what | did 
when he died. He was the only good thing in my life fora 
long time, and... | have a chance to see him again. To 
say goodbye. 

Dr. Mattings: What do | want from you? | want you to 
get to the infirmary ASAP. You've clearly been affected 
by something. 

Dr. Pike: What do you mean? 

Dr. Mattings: This obsession you have, this worship of 


Obtained July 7th, 1989 


The beasts were terrorizing the village of 
Lathos in Thoazola. Brought down with the 
help of Julie and her Garden Gang. 


Description: A thin, knobby, elongated creature 
resembling a stick insect with an additional six pairs of 
legs; each leg measures ~2.5 meters. Body length is ~5 
meters. 


The Walking Lance! 


Obtained December 20th, 1984 


Found roaming the jagged rocky mountains of 
Jerinth. Its bladed legs felled Karen and 
Matthew before a well-aimed shot from 

Maxwell skewered its head. 


Description: A horseshoe crab-like creature with 
prominent mandibles, paddle-like legs, and several sac- 
like growths lining its back and underbelly. Length ~2 
meters. 


The Aquatic Venomous Floaterbug! 


Obtained March 26, 1987 


A new challenge, one that took place beneath 

the waters of the Burmese Swamplands! We 

have the scars to show for it, but the beast fell 
after the puncturing of its venom sacs. 


Description: A humanoid entity 1.8 meters in height with 
eyes and proboscis resembling a housefly (Musca 
Domestica). 


something that looks like your dead cat... it's not natural, 
hon. | think you've been whammied.4 

Dr. Pike: | haven't been whammied, Claude. You know 
what one looks like. It doesn't look like this! I... | just 
want to say goodbye to Ollie. Okay? That's all. 

Dr. Mattings: There's an easy way to test it, then. Five 
words. 

Dr. Pike: Seriously? Fine, say them. 

Dr. Mattings: Does the Black Moon howl? 

At this point, Dr. Pike's vocal patterns radically change, 
and the recording picks up the presence of metal 
shaking against metal in a musical manner. 

Dr. Pike: It never stopped the sun from smiling. She 
wore a smile to rival its brightness before her beloved 
passed into the Duat, but her heart grew heavy and 
hardened. She deserves another chance to say 
goodbye, just as you gave her another chance. 

Dr. Mattings: What. The. Fuck? 

Dr. Pike's vocal patterns return to normal, and she 
appears ignorant of the above. 

Dr. Pike: Satisfied? 

Dr. Mattings runs for the security alarm and summons 
agents to Dr. Pike's location. 


Following this, Dr. Pike was restricted to a low-level humanoid 
containment cell for a period of at least three months as an anti- 
cognitohazardous treatment was developed for SCP-3773's 
anomaly. 


Dr. Pike's security clearance for SCP-3773 has been rescinded. 


Addendum: Interview with Dr. Pike: The following interview was 
conducted one month into Dr. Pike's isolation for cognitohazard 
treatment. 


Dr. West: Dr. Harold West, beginning interview with 
Cassandra Pike. Cognitohazard test. Does the Black 
Moon howl? 

Dr. Pike: It never stopped the sun from smiling.° 

Dr. West: Cognitohazard still present. According to Dr. 
Breaker, that response is consistent with a 


cognitohazard originating from Egypt, last seen in— 

Dr. Pike: (Sighing) This is all over a cat. 

Dr. West: Pardon? 

Dr. Pike: All | wanted to do was... tell what was the one 
good thing in my life for a good five years that | loved 
him. 

Dr. West: | can arrange for Dr. Mattings to visit. 

Dr. Pike: (Laughs) | mean other than him! He... when | 
came to Sloth's Pit, this site, do you remember what 
happened? 

Dr. West: The Cold Storage incident. Everyone 
remembers.