SCP-1868: Give me a second to remember. 
[Eighteen seconds pass in silence.] 


SCP-1868: About eight months or so, when | moved to 
Boston. Why do you ask? 


Dr. Eriksson: Right. And when did you two first start 
dating? 


SCP-1868: About a month ago. Funny thing: *she* 
asked *me™* out. | can't say it didn't feel good to have her 
make the first move. 


Dr. Erksson: How are you dating her if she's in a coma? 
SCP-1868: Ugh. Do | have to explain this every time? 


[D-2088 screams. Supplementary EKG readings indicate 
a drastically increased heart rate.] 


SCP-1868: Just because it's a bit untraditional [sic] 
doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with it. 


Dr. Eriksson: | apologize. | didn't mean to insinuate that 
there was anything wrong with it. I'm just curious as to 
the mechanics. 


SCP-1868: Well, I'm kind of used to people being pricks 
about it. But yeah. I'm not really in the mood to explain it 
all right now, especially with me needing to go soon. 


Dr. Eriksson: Alright, | suppose. Could | at least know 
how you figured it all out, so | could give it a shot? 


SCP-1868: Well... really, | just had to do a lot of thinking. 
A *lot* of thinking. | don't know if you'd be able to. Could 
we wrap this up? 


Dr. Eriksson: We'll come back to that one when you 
have more time. Last question. Do you believe yourself 
to be a human or an EKG machine? 


SCP-1868: | believe myself to be happy, and if it's alright 
with you, I'd like to leave it at that. 


Dr. Eriksson: [Sighing] | suppose. Thank you for your 
time. 


<End log> 


Footnotes 


1. Consulting withSCP-890have revealed that it believes that this 
relationship is mundane in nature. 


« SCP-1867 | SCP-1868 | SCP-1869 » 


SCP-1869: The Silence of the Forest 


Item #: SCP-1869 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1869 is to be contained in 
a standard humanoid cell furnished with a writing desk, and provided 
with a constant supply of writing material. SCP-1869 should be 
examined weekly by a medical personnel and undergo monthly 
psychological evaluations. Disruption of SCP-1869's writing process 
should be kept to a minimum during these routine examinations. 
Notes produced by SCP-1869 are to be inspected daily and filed 
with documentation pertaining to project SCP-1869. 


Description: SCP-1869 is a Caucasian male, currently 59 years 
old, measuring 1.72 m and weighing 61 kg. It has never been 
observed to sleep since its acquisition and it presents symptoms of 
sleep deprivation including clumsiness, involuntary eye movements, 
confusion, and memory lapses. SCP-1869 remained in a stable 
health condition since its acquisition and is aging at a rate consistent 
with that of a normal human being. 


SCP-1869 is constantly writing notes consisting of geographic 
coordinates followed by a brief but detailed description of a toppled 
tree, occasionally accompanied by a rudimentary sketch. If 
stationery is not provided, it will attempt to write using any material 
or means available. SCP-1869 claims to constantly hear the sounds 
of falling trees and is compelled to record the details of these 
events. When questioned on its motives, SCP-1869 explains that 
someone has to do it, but does not elaborate. Inspection of recorded 
locations confirmed the presence of recently toppled trees matching 
the descriptions and illustrations. Experimentation showed that 
SCP-1869 is not cognizant of trees falling in the presence of human 
witnesses, or following deliberate human action. The majority of 
occurrences recorded are within a radius of 200 km, but there 
appears to be no limit on the range of this phenomenon. 


Under normal circumstances, SCP-1869 is cooperative but 
withdrawn, and does not show any signs of emotions. If prevented 
from taking notes, it will display signs of irritation and emotional 
distress and may become violent. SCP-1869 is protective of its 
notes, but was convinced to entrust them to the research personnel 
with the assurance that they would be conserved carefully. 


SCP-1869 was recovered on 10-11-1986, following investigations of 
rumors of a mentally deranged man that did not sleep. It had been 
previously working as a forester in , in Northern Quebec. 
The anomalous properties of SCP-1869 developed following a 
traumatic experience in the months preceding its acquisition. The 
object had developed a romantic relationship with an indigenous 
woman of Naskapi ethnicity’, who was reported missing in June 
1986. This case was never solved and Foundation investigations 
yielded no additional clues. SCP-1869 appears to have no 
recollection of these events or of the time preceding the onset of its 
anomalous condition. 


Addendum 1869: The following is a letter written by SCP-1869 
before its acquisition. The intended recipient of the letter has not yet 
been formally identified. 


Sept 9, 86 
My friendD_ , 


| am certain in my heart what happened, and | fear she 
will never be found. Like so many others. So many and 
nobody ever hears about them. Nobody cares. This is 
the worst indignity. 


Can't sleep. My mind conjures visions of broken limbs. 
Lacerated flesh. Bones covered with frost. Or to think | 
may have walked over her shallow grave and not know 
it. 


How? Where? Did she suffer? What happened to her 
dying scream? Is it still vibrating in the heart of the trees 
that heard it? | feel that | am losing my sanity and | would 
risk what little | have left just to know. Thank you for your 


help. | do not have your wisdom concerning these things, 
but | will have to try. 


Footnotes 
1. The name Naskapi literally means "people beyond the horizon". 


« SCP-1868 | SCP-1869 | SCP-1870 » 


SCP-1870: Record Skip 


Item #: SCP-1870 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: Due to its location, containment 
of SCP-1870 requires only minimal on-site supervision to keep 
anomalous activity confined. On-site personnel are tasked with 
interviewing and documenting behavior of entities housed within 
SCP-1870. 


Update: Per O5 directive no further personnel are allowed access to 
SCP-1870. Entrances to the site have been sealed and radio 
broadcasts from the site have been disabled. Any other 
communications received from within SCP-1870 are to be 
immediately deleted with no records kept. 


Description: SCP-1870 is an underground complex located in 

; , superficially built for the containment and transfer of 
anomalous objects. Records recovered from SCP-1870 indicate a 
relationship with the Foundation, although the Foundation has no 
records of any such facility prior to the discovery and containment of 
SCP-1870 itself. The anomalous properties of SCP-1870 are 
inherent to the location itself and its inhabitants. Most of the objects 
contained within SCP-1870 are not anomalous despite extensive on- 
site records which claim otherwise. 


SCP-1870 is populated by six to ten humanoid entities which share 
the following characteristics: 


¢ Constantly changing facial features, often in drastic manners 
which do not align with standard bilateral symmetry. 

¢ An understanding of Foundation policy and history that, while 
incorrect, is detailed enough to present a serious security 
issue. 

* Detailed knowledge of several contained objects and entities. 


¢ An outer epidermis that resembles elaborate but functionless 
tactical gear. While some portions of this epidermis can be 
removed, doing so improperly causes great pain or distress to 
the entity. 

¢ An obsession with improvised weaponry such as gardening 
implements and power tools, most of which are tactically 
useless. 


While the entities often exhibit individual traits, a detailed accounting 
of their numbers or precise origins have proved impossible to keep. 
Even under direct observation the number of entities within a closed 
room will change and some entities have been observed in multiple 
locations simultaneously. Due to the fluid nature of SCP-1870 
entities no permanent designations have been set to distinguish 
them. 


Entities spend their time in training exercises and performing 
experiments with the non-anomalous objects stored on site. 


Examples of the non-anomalous objects stored within SCP-1870 
are: 


A gallery of poorly stuffed and mounted wildlife. Detailed 

records are kept on each specimen outlining a mission in 

which the animals were captured and contained, although the 

dates on the records do not match the confirmed ages of the 

specimens. 

¢ Seventeen vintage television sets. 

Excerpts from an unpublished book on home improvement, 

author unknown. 

¢ A box of fluorescent light bulbs. 

Living quarters for "Doctor Steampunk," an inanimate suit of 

17th century ceremonial plate armor with brass cogs welded 

across its surface. 

¢ A pinball machine, with erroneous records describing it as a 
"Roman-era video game console." 

¢« A credenza-mounted record player. 

* Twenty-seven copies of a compilation album titled "Greatest 
Party Jams 1990" on compact disc. 

* A box of pamphlets titled "How to Keep Your Facial Features 

Properly Arranged." Experiment records claim that subjects 


who read the pamphlet are capable of altering their facial 
features at will, but only while in possession of a pamphlet. 
The pamphlets do not possess any anomalous properties at 
all and appear to be unrelated to the nature of SCP-1870 
entities. An example copy is kept in File Room AE2. (Update: 
Records in File Room AE2 were damaged by an 
environmental control failure. The example copy was not 
recovered.) 


Excerpt from Interview 1870-E-4, conducted by E-class Agents 
D and X 


Agent D : Please state your name. 
SCP-1870 entity: Agent Redacted. 

Agent D : Your name is 'redacted'? 
SCP-1870 entity: Yes, "Agent Redacted." 
Agent X_ : Why are you carrying a power drill? 


SCP-1870 entity: For luck. | once took out fifty SCP- 
with it. 


Agent D : Records on SCP-_ are sealed. What can 
you tell us about them? 


SCP-1870 entity: [DATA EXPUNGED] (the answer was 
confirmed correct by O5. However, there have been no 
SCP- outbreaks within the last fifty years) 


Addendum: The original personnel files for Agent D and Agent 
X have been lost due to clerical error and local database 
corruption. It is not known when they returned from SCP-1870 or 
where they were later assigned. 


« SCP-1869 | SCP-1870 | SCP-1871 » 


SCP-1871: Vorpal Sword 


Item #: SCP-1871 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1871 is stored in an 
upright storage container at Storage Site-08. Requests for testing 
are to be directed to Dr. Lutwidge. 


Description: SCP-1871 is a steel longsword with a cruciform hilt 
measuring 144cm in length, with a blade 115cm in length. The hilt is 
bound with strips of leather. The cross-guard of the sword is 
engraved, apparently by hand — one side is engraved with the 
words: “He left it dead, and with its head” while the other is engraved 
with the words “he went galumphing back” (both engravings are 
quotations from Lewis Carroll's nonsense poem Jabberwocky). The 
blade of SCP-1871 is worn and shows evidence of some use in 
combat — traces of a purple residue can be found in scratches on 
the blade and cross-guard. 


SCP-1871 possesses several anomalous physical properties. If 
placed on a flat surface, SCP-1871 will orient itself so that it stands 
on its pommel with the sword point facing directly upwards, although 
the sword is not weighted. Additionally, SCP-1871 will occasionally 
begin to behave as if it is submerged in a highly viscous liquid when 
it is not, and will maintain this anomalous state for several hours at a 
time before reverting to normal. Only SCP-1871 is affected by these 
anomalous properties. 


When held by a human being, SCP-1871 will induce a variety of 
anomalous sensory effects. In total, 70% of all subjects have 
experienced changes to their sense of equilibrioception, causing 
their sense of balance to shift so that they perceive gravity as acting 
parallel to the blade of the sword, with the direction of gravity being 
the direction which the pommel of the sword is pointing towards. For 
this reason SCP-1871 is highly impractical for use as a weapon, and 


likely to result in injury to those who attempt to use it in such a 
fashion. This effect ceases immediately upon SCP-1871 being 
removed from contact with the subject’s skin. 


20% of all subjects will not experience changes to their sense of 
balance, but will instead experience hallucinatory proprioceptive and 
somatosensory sensations. Such subjects will experience 
sensations corresponding to a drastically altered body plan of 
significantly larger size than a human being. This body plan appears 
to have at least seven limbs, three tail-like appendages, no head or 
analogous appendage, and is asymmetric. Subjects will not be able 
to perceive any of their own body's somatosensory or proprioceptive 
sensations during this time. Subjects will claim to experience the 
feeling of light rain on their body and wet leaves on the ground. The 
subjects’ other senses are not affected, and this can be highly 
disorientating and distressing for those affected. This effect does not 
cease when contact with SCP-1871 is broken, but can instead last 
for several hours after exposure. 


A further 10% of all subjects exposed to SCP-1871 will not undergo 
anomalous sensory disturbances upon contact with the object. 
However, upon swinging the object, the stroke will appear to occur 
instantaneously without SCP-1871 or the wielder’s arms moving 
through any of the intervening space. Following this, SCP-1871 will 
appear to be coated in a viscous purple liquid chemically identical to 
the residue found on the sword (for full chemical analysis see [DATA 
REDACTED)). The subject will experience feelings of elation 
following the swing, but will shortly thereafter begin to experience 
feelings of mild discomfort around SCP-1871 and will develop a mild 
aversion towards interacting with the object. Due to these 
anomalous properties, it is highly difficult, although possible, for 
such a subject to physically damage another object or being with 
SCP-1871. 


Addendum: Note recovered from [DATA EXPUNGED], considered 
of relevance to SCP-1871: 


Richard, 


I’d complain about your self-indulgence, but | suppose it 
did the job. | thought you’d want it back. You made it, 


after alll. 


That, and | can’t help but think that the blade itself has 
been somehow affected. It feels as if the balance is all 
wrong now, and | feel a little sick when | look at it. It 
reminds of the whole sorry affair. 


Yours sincerely, 
J. Aston 


« SCP-1870 | SCP-1871 | SCP-1872 » 


SCP-1872: Vehicular Lazer Pointer 


Item #: SCP-1872 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1872 is to be kept without 
batteries in a Safe security locker. Once a day this is to be checked 
for signs of tampering. Any testing done with SCP-1872 must be 
done in an indoor vehicle testing facility, and only with approved 
vehicles. No personnel other than D-Class are to be present inside 
of the test range. 


Description: SCP-1872 is a green laser pointer, devoid of any type 
of manufacturing mark or brand name. The light produced by 
SCP-1872 has a wavelength of 550 nm; despite this, SCP-1872 
appears to have a range of at least 1.5 kilometers. 


If SCP-1872's light is directed onto any vehicle with a person inside 
of it, it will begin to actively pursue the light. Any operators will lose 
control, however these vehicles are not being "dragged" by the light 
and will take evasive maneuvers to avoid obstacles. If the light isn't 
shut off, they will function autonomously until they break down or run 
out of fuel. If the light produced by SCP-1872 is still, vehicles will 
circle it until it begins to move again.