Is that all? Well, if you have any others, feel free to find me in my 
office or at the canteen. 


Nearly forgot. In one of the few upsides of being in the 
Disinformation Bureau, our canteen is a full-fledged bar, 
[REDRAFTED]. In the tradition of orientation sessions finishing with 
some kind of refreshment, I've arranged for an open bar. Whether 
you nurse a drink or down it, is your decision. 


Dispatch from the Paintball War 


O5-2 entered the conference room and took her seat at the long 
table. She said nothing to the other twelve people seated around 
her, and they said nothing back. The O5 Council only met in person 
once a month. There was no time, no purpose in any pleasantries. 


There were no leaders in the O5 Council, but they each took turns to 
officiate meetings. This month it was O5-8's turn. He started without 
ceremony. “We have twelve items to discuss today,” he said. 
English was the first language of only three O5s, but he spoke it 
without the trace of an accent. “The first concerns the proposed 
termination of SCP-2629-A.” 


There was a half-second silence, and then O5-7 said “What, the 
paintball ghosts?” 


05-8 sighed. “These are Class III Incorporeal Humanoid Entities, not 
‘ghosts’. But yes, these are in fact, ‘the paintball ghosts’. Well done, 
Seven.” 


“Wait,” said O5-12. “Isn’t this all a bit extreme? 2629-A hasn’t killed 
anyone. They haven't even injured anyone, except by accident. 
We've gone to far greater extremes to cage far worse monsters.” 


“Normally I'd agree,” said O5-8. “But we’ve had six Aleph-2629 
Scenarios in the past six months. Even if 2629-A sticks to attacking 
Site-19, and | must stress that we have no guarantee it will, the rate 
of attacks will be get more and more frequent. Working at Site-19 
will become intolerable.” 


“But it’s still not like us to just give up on an SCP,” said 05-12. 
“Remember how many people were slaughtered by 096 before we 
finally agreed to put the bastard down?” 


“Could we simply move out of Site-19?” said O5-13. 


“Impossible,” said O5-8. “We’ve spent decades and untold billions of 
dollars building up Site-19. Abandoning it would be an unthinkable 
waste of resources.” 


“We lost eight sites trying to contain 1440,” grumbled O5-12. 


“And what a marvellous use of resources that was!” said O5-11. “I 
had friends who went up in smoke alongside the seventh site. 
Seems to me that we should have cashed in our chips a little 
earlier.” 


“| lost friends to 1440 too,” said 05-12. “That’s why I’m finding it so 
hard to accept that we’re surrendering to bloody paintball. Can't 
Site-19 simply adapt to daily paintball attacks?” 


05-8 grimaced. “That might be the best option if we can’t agree on 
termination. But Site-19 contains or is crucial to the containment of 
over a thousand SCPs. The logistics involved would be immense. 
Should we value the containment of one SCP over a thousand?” 


The O5 Council continued arguing. O5-2’s eyes slid over to the far 
wall. Every boardroom on the planet had small touches to make it 
more liveable. Every boardroom but this one. There were no 
windows, no pot plants, no pictures or certificates on the walls. But 
what it did have was a wall covered in over three thousand miniature 
lightbulbs. Every lightbulb had a small numberplate attached to it. 
Most of the lightbulbs were dark, but here and there, there were a 
few of them lit up in red. Even as O5-2 watched, a lightbulb marked 
“2416” slowly lit itself up. O5-2 sighed. She wondered how 
SCP-2416-21 had managed to kill himself this time. There had been 
far too many containment breaches in the past month. At least 
terminating SCP-2629-A would mean one less to worry about. 


Around her, the O5 Council still hadn’t reached a consensus. “2629- 
Ais ambulatory,” said 05-7. “If we tear down SCP-2629 it may take 
up residency in Site-19 permanently.” 


“It nearly has already,” said O5-8. “Our estimates say we only have 
a year before lota-17 losses outweigh victories. At least by 
demolishing SCP-2629 we might have a permanent solution.” 


“Hang on,” said O5-2. “How did 2629-A find Site-19 in the first 
place? It’s on a different continent.” 


“That was in the SCP file,” said O5-8. “Don’t tell me you haven't 
done the reading. They overheard Site-19 being mentioned in some 
Task Force chatter. A terrible breach in discipline.” 


“Yes,” said O5-2. “But surely they didn’t mention the exact co- 
ordinates of Site-19? Even if 2629-A knew what country Site-19 was 
in, it would still be nearly impossible to find, what with everything 
we've done to cloak and disguise it.” 


The table was silent. O5-8 glanced down at his notes on SCP-2629, 
even though he’d already memorized them. “That's a good 
question,” he said. “We don’t know how 2629-A was able to find us.” 


“So, could 2629-A find other secret places?” said O5-2. “If we 
instruct lota-17 to casually drop a reference to a different site during 
their next match, could we get 2629-A to re-direct their focus there 
instead?” 


05-8 looked sceptical. “Are you suggesting we set up a decoy site 
for 2629-A?” 


05-2 grinned. “Who said it had to be one of our sites?” 


DeCIRO Catalogue Number: SC-19/988-19/438 
Document Type: Step Compilation 

Dates Received: 9/20/2019 through 9/22/2019 
Operation Status: Open. 


Foreword: This is intolerable. Simply intolerable. These 
Class Threes have made a mockery of the most 
important work being done in this age. What we do here 
today is not surrender. It is a temporary measure only. 
Once we have the means we shall drag them into 
corporeality and grind them into powder. And we shall 
have the means. 


learned to sneak up. The boy was clever, you 
see, always carving the smallest figures into 
ivory and stone. He killed a seal, came back 
home with the dogs smiling, waving his slate 
knife in the wind. | smiled then. He went out 
again, and again, until one day the dogs came 
back without him. | went out looking, found the 
hole in the ice. | knelt down and looked. | saw 
green ice, heard a voice. [hesitation] 


Rosenthal: Did it say anything? The voice? 


SCP-828: This | remember because it wanted 
me to remember. It. The voice. It said that my 

son had disrespected her children, that he had 
neglected the customary offerings, respect. 


LeChatlier: The kid probably forgot to offer the 
seals a drink before they died. 


SCP-828: | offered myself. If my son was 
payment then it could accept a larger price, 
yes? | watched the polynya, there was no sea 
just green ice. It coughed him up like a sick 
dog next to me. | held him until his eyes 
Opened, said good bye and stood on the green 
ice in the hole. | remember going deep. | 
remember unearthly singing and a boiling hot 
presence, like | was inside a womb of flame. 
There's not much left after that. 


Rosenthal: What else do you remember? 


SCP-828: Children. | remember children 
looking down at me through a hole in the sky. | 
take them into my arms when they fall. | bring 
a place where fire burns underwater, where 
they do not fall, where they cannot fall. 


LeChatlier: | thought you said you couldn't 
remember. 


Nevertheless, protective measures must be taken until 
that inevitable day comes. Our efforts to dissuade the 
Class Threes by holding Delta Command meetings by 
satellite link have only led them to refocus their 
annoyances elsewhere in the organization. Over the past 
week six of our North American laboratories have been 
hit. Sensitive equipment and valuable anomalies have 
been damaged. No, | am afraid we in Delta Command 
must bear the brunt of these attacks. 


1. STEP 19/1123: A new conference room must be 
constructed for Delta Command meetings. This room 
must be as utilitarian as possible. Nothing inside it 
should be difficult to clean or easy to break. 


2. STEP 19/1130: All Delta Command members must be 
provided with full paintball armour before each of our 
meetings. 


3. STEP 19/1134: As paper documents and standard 
handheld devices are typically susceptible to paintball 
damage, new methods of in-meeting information 
recording and retrieval must be devised. The new 
conference room must be equipped with multiple 
inconspicuous microphones, specifically designed to 
withstand paintballs. While this is a serious security risk, 
it will ensure information conveyed in the meeting is not 
lost and can be accessed by Delta Command members 
later. 


Do Not Collect $200 


Hello! Enter your login information for 
Foundation WebNET. 


/serv IDENTIFY PIETROVITCH-W 
+ Accessing user... (100%) 


Please enter password: 
ee skipsecurity231225 
+ Welcome, PIETROVITCH-W. 
/email 
E-MAIL loading... 


Jack Harmon <pcs.noitadnuof| 
jnomrah#pcs.noitadnuof|jnomrah> 

to: Walter Pietrovitch <pcs.noitadnuof| 
whctivorteip#pcs.noitadnuof|whctivorteip> 
date: Tuesday, Aug 8, 2001 at 3:29 PM 
subject: RE: Non-anomalous item 


I've got the thing behind me right now. How 
many tests did they do on this thing? And who 
on? Maybe some random D-Class? 


After looking at the evidence you sent, I've got 
to agree with you whole-heartedly. This game 


isn't anomalous whatsoever. It's just a couple 
of people getting too involved in a goddamn 
board game. I've shown your work to junior 
researchers Syrek and Wright. They both 
agree. We've got a plan to make a report to 
the Director and we'll need your help. Reply 
ASAP if you are interested. 


- Researcher Harmon 


Walter Pietrovitch <pcs.noitadnuof| 
whctivorteip#pcs.noitadnuof|whctivorteip> 
to: Jack Harmon <pcs.noitadnuof| 
jnomrah#pcs.noitadnuof|jnomrah> 

date: Wednesday, Aug 9, 2001 at 11:08 AM 
subject: RE: RE: Non-anomalous item 


Jack, 

Regarding those initial questions, documents 
suggest they took "friendly" D-Classes to test 
this thing. Twice. Clearly not enough to prove 
any anomalous effects. | can help you with 
your report. 


When going through the logs, | found where it 
came from. Some kid was selling it because 
he blamed it for "ruining mommy and daddy's 
marriage”. He'd gotten it for his birthday, but 
when his parents played it, they got in an 


argument over real money and divorced. Kid 
dead hated that game. | don't blame him, 
although it's not like that marriage would have 
lasted if you ask me. 


Anyways, what do you need? A co-witness? 
Report verification? It can't be on-shift though, 
I've got to lead research on my current skip. 

- Piet 


» AO-2175.log 


Jack Harmon <pcs.noitadnuof| 
jnomrah#pcs.noitadnuof|jnomrah> 

to: Walter Pietrovitch <pcs.noitadnuof| 
whctivorteip#pcs.noitadnuof|whctivorteip> 
date: Wednesday, Aug 9, 2001 at 3:34 PM 
subject: Need your help 


Thanks for your interest. We aren't planning 
to send a normal report, per se. We're gonna 
play the thing ourselves and take a video of it. 
Saves us at least two weeks of paperwork just 
to clear this thing. We package that up with 
the report, send it off to the Director. He's a 
man of common sense. I've got Wright, Syrek, 
me, and hopefully you. Eckhart's gonna 
videotape it. Let me know if that's fine with 
you. If so, meet at the recreation room 


tomorrow in Sector 17. 


- Researcher Harmon 


Walter Pietrovitch <pcs.noitadnuof| 
whctivorteip#pcs.noitadnuof|whctivorteip> 
to: Jack Harmon <pcs.noitadnuof| 
jnomrah#pcs.noitadnuof|jnomrah> 

date: Thursday, Aug 10, 2001 at 1:53 PM 
subject: RE: Need your help 


Jack, 
I'll be there. 
- Piet 


Hello! Enter your login information for 
Foundation WebNET. 


/serv IDENTIFY HARMON-J vyzetri 
+ Accessing user... (100%) 

+ Welcome, HARMON-J. 

/email 
E-MAIL loading... 


Walter Pietrovitch <pcs.noitadnuof| 
whctivorteip#pcs.noitadnuof|whctivorteip> 
to: Jack Harmon <pcs.noitadnuof| 


jnomrah#pcs.noitadnuof|jnomrah> 
date: Thursday, Aug 10, 2001 at 4:02 PM 
subject: Cheater 


You piece of shit. | won't forget this, you 
worthless fuck. 


Jack Harmon <pcs.noitadnuof| 
jnomrah#pcs.noitadnuof|jnomrah> 

to: Walter Pietrovitch <pcs.noitadnuof| 
whctivorteip#pcs.noitadnuof|whctivorteip> 
date: Thursday, Aug 10, 2001 at 4:09 PM 
subject: RE: Cheater 


| can't believe | ever trusted a person like you. 
You saw. Syrek nearly tore Wright's throat 
out. I'm talking to the Director about this. 


Walter Pietrovitch <pcs.noitadnuof| 
whctivorteip#pcs.noitadnuof|whctivorteip> 
to: Jack Harmon <pcs.noitadnuof| 
jnomrah#pcs.noitadnuof|jnomrah> 

date: Thursday, Aug 10, 2001 at 4:13 PM 
subject: Don't care 


| don't fucking care what you do or who the 
fuck you talk to. If | ever see your miserable 


ass with another miserable plan, | swear I'll 
send you to the miserable infirmary. Wright 
fucking deserved it. What maniac puts 2 
hotels on a property? 


Jack Harmon <pcs.noitadnuof| 
jnomrah#pcs.noitadnuof|jnomrah> 

to: Walter Pietrovitch <pcs.noitadnuof| 
whctivorteip#pcs.noitadnuof|whctivorteip> 
date: Thursday, Aug 10, 2001 at 4:15 PM 
subject: RE: Don't care 


If you don't care so fucking much, stop 
emailing me, you unqualified degenerate. 
You're the one who decided to tax us all to 
hell. 


Walter Pietrovitch <pcs.noitadnuof| 
whctivorteip#pcs.noitadnuof|whctivorteip> 
to: Jack Harmon <pcs.noitadnuof| 
jnomrah#pcs.noitadnuof|jnomrah> 

date: Thursday, Aug 10, 2001 at 4:16 PM 
subject: RE: RE: Don't care 


You sold me out for Reading Railroad and 
Electric Company. Look who's fucking talking. 


Jack Harmon <pcs.noitadnuof| 
jnomrah#pcs.noitadnuof|jnomrah> 

to: Walter Pietrovitch <pcs.noitadnuof| 
whctivorteip#pcs.noitadnuof|whctivorteip> 
date: Thursday, Aug 10, 2001 at 4:19 PM 
subject: fuck off 


That goddamn "non-anomalous" bullshit you 
were spouting about obviously isn't fucking 
true whatsoever. That's why we can't stop 
goddamn fighting, | bet. | wouldn't be 
surprised if we get shipped to goddamn 
Alaska, you Russian fuck. 


- a winner at games 


NOTICE FROM THE FOUNDATION PERSONNEL DIRECTOR 
— SITE-107 


Researchers W. Pietrovitch, J. Harmon, and Junior 
Researchers D. Wright and R. Syrek were reprimanded and will 
be re-assigned following their contact with an anomalous item 
from Site-19. 


Listing here: 


¢ W. Pietrovitch — Sector 17 
¢ J. Harmon — Sector 3, Site-108 
¢ D. Wright — Sector 10 

« R. Syrek — Sector 6 


We would like to welcome Researcher Harmon's replacement at 
Site-107, Researcher J. Fynegan. 


— Carl Pilliken, Site-107 Director 


Item Description: A standard 'Monopoly' board game 
that, when played, will invariably incite an argument 
between the players that will ultimately lead to the 
cessation or annulment of their marriage, partnership, 
friendship or whatever other form their relationship took. 
Date of Recovery: 07-03-2001 

Location of Recovery: family yard sale, Illinois, US. 
Current Status: Site-19 storage. 


Do Not Go Gentle 


She counts out the un-bullets in the monstrosity of conceptual 
circuitry that's replaced the magazine on this gun: it takes a lot more 
than just steel and a prayer to hold an anticoncept in one piece for 
much longer than thirty seconds and she doesn't want to have to 
deal with the fallout of having a gun that's leaking ideatic 
ammunition all over the site. 


Satisfied that she's got enough to finish the job for all the retirees 
arrayed against the wall, she pauses as she passes by one of the 
elderly academics — a face worn rugged by the scars of time and 
framed in hair gone too grey and thin for a woman who can still 
stand this tall. "You're retiring after all?" the executioner says with a 
faint trace of disbelief. "| thought you'd take the next job they gave 
you, Lanna."