Description: SCP-3872 is William Henry Seward, US Secretary of 
State from 1861 to 1869, and appears to be biologically immortal. 
SCP-3872 is, at this time, biologically 56 years of age. SCP-3872 
has shown no visible or medical signs of aging. SCP-3872 
possesses no other anomalous abilities or attributes. 


Historical records indicate the William Henry Seward died in 1872; 

however, recovered records from ASCI Site 22 have indicated that 

SCP-3872 has been in containment for an indeterminate amount of 
time. SCP-3872 shows signs of significant mental deterioration, 


hypothesized to be due to isolation within the American Secure 
Containment Initiative (ASCI) Site-22 for somewhere between 75 
and 80 years. Logs of psychological evaluation by Dr. Jamesson 
can be found in Addendum B. 


According to conflicting ASCI Records, SCP-3872 was first put in to 
containment somewhere between 1920 and 1926. Containment was 
determined to be necessary, after SCP-3872 was confirmed to be 
involved in the 1919 "Great Molasses Flood"! in Boston, which 
released 2.3 million gallons of molasses causing 21 deaths, anda 
significant number of injuries. SCP-3872 has claimed that it caused 
the flood in order to prevent the use of molasses in consumer 
goods. 


Addendum A 


Prepared by the Department 
of External Affairs 


Subject: Recovery of SCP-3872 


Involved Agents: Sam Denton Level 3 Agent, Jim 
McDowell Level 2 Agent 


Report: SCP-3872 was recovered on April 17, 2013, 
from ASCI Site-22 in [REDACTED], Oklahoma. ASCI 
Site-22 was not mentioned in any of the transition paper 
work during [REDACTED] which lead to the loss of 
Site-22's location from records. 


SCP Field Agents Denton and McDowell discovered 
Site-22 on a routine investigation in to a potential 
anomaly from April 10 - April 17, 2013, which lead 
Agents Denton and McDowell to the ruins of Site-22. 
Below is a transcript of the body camera feed of 
recovery. Irrelevant sections have been removed. 


Agents Denton and McDowell's body cams 
both show them walking by various 


containment cells, for biological specimens. 


Denton: I'm still shocked how many things 
slipped through the cracks during the 
transition. 


Agent Denton body cam shows the dessicated 
corpse of several [REDACTED] specimens. 


McDowell: Seriously? It's not like the 
government ever kept amazing records, before 
the Foundation got involved. 


Denton: Still. There were a lot of biologicals 
here. | can't believe how many potential skips 
were lost here, from a stupid clerical error. 


McDowell: Eh. I'm not that bothered by it. 
Less to worry about breaking containment. 


Both agents turn a corner, leading to another 
set of containment cells. SCP-3872 is sitting 
on a Stool in the furthest containment cell. 


SCP-3872: Well hello there. | think the last 
guard forgot his shift. 


McDowell: Holy shit, there's something alive. 


SCP-3872: Young man, that kind of language 
is severely inappropriate. 


SCP-3872 stands. 


SCP-3872: Have you been imbibing the 
Devil's Blood? That most perfidious of 
substances, the dreaded molasses, or heaven 
preserve its lusty spawn rum? 


Denton: (Quietly) Is it just me, or does that 
guy look a lot like William Henry Seward? 


McDowell: Who? 
Denton: Lincoln's Secretary of state. 


McDowell: | have no idea. How do you even 
know who that is? 


Denton: Crash course US History. Gotta love 
John Green. 


Agent Denton turns towards SCP-3872 


Denton: Sir, we're here to help you. Let's get 
you somewhere safe, yeah? 


Agents McDowell and Denton brought 
SCP-3872 in to Foundation custody on April 
20, 2013. 


END LOG 


SCP-3872 was sedated, and brought in to containment. 


Addendum B 


Prepared by the Medical 
Department 


Reporting Doctor: Dr. Jamesson 


Subject: SCP-3872 


Evaluation: The following is a transcription of several 
logs | made of interaction with SCP-3872. At this time, 
there's no indication that SCP-3872 is a danger to itself, 
or to the Foundation. Regular counselling, and 
conversation is suggested. - Dr. Jamesson 


Begin Transcription 


Patient Notes - Dr. Jamesson 
Subject: SCP-3872 


SCP-3872, upon recovery, showed signs of 
extreme isolation, beyond what was detailed in 
the original notes by the ASCI. From all 
indications his mental state was already fragile 
due to the circumstances of its anomalous 
creation. The additional pressures of spending 
so much time alone have worsened this 
condition. 


Initially, SCP-3872 was extremely reluctant to 
talk about anything outside of the "evils" of 
molasses. SCP-3872's particular obsession 
appears centered on the distillation of rum, 
and the detrimental affects which SCP-3872 
perceives rum has on society. 

eal 

On March 19, 2015, upon entering 
SCP-3872's containment chamber, SCP-3872 
engaged me in conversation regarding my 
pen. | had brought in my fountain pen from my 
office, instead of my usual ballpoints for taking 
notes, and SCP-3872 remarked upon this. The 
conversation turned more personal after a 
while talking about its favorite inks. | believe 
I've made a breakthrough. 

ee 

| got approval to provide SCP-3872 with a 
couple of vintage-styled fountain pens, with 
some historically significant inks ( 1607 
brand inks). After discussing fountain pens for 
a while, SCP-3872 began recounting its 
isolation in ASCI Site-22. The conversation still 
occasionally turns towards molasses and rum; 
however, SCP-3872 is significantly more 
cooperative. I'm hopeful for SCP-3872's future, 


and what we can learn from it. 
End Transcription 


Addendum C 


Prepared by the Department 
of Science - Alchemy Division 


Subject: Biological Immortality of SCP-3872 


Consulted Resources: R. Diaghilev, Alc., Mrd., Ast., 
PhD 


Findings: According to ASCI records, SCP-3872's 
biological immortality was caused by a process 
described as "forbidden molasses-based alchemy." 
Foundation Alchemist Diaghilev was consulted, and 
prepared the following report. 


Honorable Colleagues, 


The alchemical process used on SCP-3872, 
while slightly crude, is sound. | can say, with 
some certainty, that this process may work, 
depending on the humorous composition of 
the subject. With the planets in the correct 
retrograde, which | surmise may have 
occurred in 1857, molasses could have indeed 
been used in the creation of a stabilization 
philter. 


While said philter may have stabilized the 
humors indefinitely, it is without a doubt that 
the inherent balance would be disturbed by 
such a crude process. An excess of yellow 
bile, or phlegm may be responsible for the 


condition that we find SCP-3872 in; however, 
additional alchemic testing may be required, to 
confirm. 


At this time, most likely it is inadvisable to 
stabilize SCP-3872's humors, as this would 
most likely led to the deterioration of the 
aether, and thus, the cessation of life. 


R. Diaghilev, Alchemist of the Seventh Circle. 


At this time, the recreation of the process which created 
SCP-3872 is not advised, as the obvious mental 
deterioration is an unacceptable risk for biological 
immortality. 


Footnotes 
1. SeeThe Great Molasses Flood of 1919for reference material 


SCP-3876: Tussie Mussie 


Item #: SCP-3876 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: The items comprising Lot 76 
are to be kept on display in Lab 2-A5 in the Bio Wing of Site-81. 
SCP-3876 is to be held upright in a stand to facilitate the retrieval of 
SCP-3876-1 instances. In the event of a SCP-3876-1 manifestation, 
the Level 3 Researcher on duty should be notified. 


Additional Containment Procedures_25JUN2016: In the event of 
a SCP-3876-1 manifestation, SCP-3876-2 (or the current true copy 
or transcript on file) should be consulted, and any resulting 
information be provided to the Level 3 Researcher on duty. 


Description: SCP-3876 is an ornate silver-plated bouquet holder. It 
is conical, approximately 18 cm in length, and approximately 7 cm 
across at the open end. Attached roughly at the midpoint is a fine 
silver chain approximately 5 cm in length. This chain terminates in a 
silver pin, which can be inserted into a small hole near the open end, 
serving to secure a bouquet placed within. 


Through anomalous means, SCP-3876 spontaneously manifests 
bouquets, collectively designated SCP-3876-1. SCP-3876-1 vary in 
composition, generally consisting of at least three different floral 
components. Instances appear usually appear within SCP-3876. If 
SCP-3876 is not empty at the time of an SCP-3876-1 manifestation, 
contents will usually be displaced to a nearby surface. Review of 
high-speed video indicates that these manifestations and 
displacements are instant. 


Beyond manifestation, SCP-3876-1 do not appear to possess 
anomalous properties; examination of individual components of 
SCP-3876-1 show them to be representative specimens of their 
respective species. While SCP-3876-1 instances can appear with no 


apparent trigger, SCP-3876 has always been observed to produce 
an instance of SCP-3876-1 when encountering an individual with 
whom it has not had prior contact; the overall composition will vary, 
but these SCP-3876-1 instances will always contain yellow roses. 


Discovery: SCP-3876 was one of several anomalous items 
retrieved from an auction warehouse in Indianapolis, IN, after the 
death of the owner, POI-707249, during an attempted burglary.! The 
body of POI-707249 was discovered in the front office by custodial 
staff on the evening of April 12, 2016. MTF lota-10 (“Damn Feds”) 
intercepted the 911 call, and secured the building in the guise of 
local law enforcement. Certain auction lots deemed ‘evidence’ were 
re-routed to various Foundation holdings, including ‘Lot 76’. 


MTF lota-10 found little documentation regarding Lot 76 in the 
paperwork recovered from the warehouse. An intake manifest listed 
a fan, a broach with several pendant items, a Commonplace Book, 
and a hinged wooden box containing a bouquet holder: SCP-3876. 
SCP-3876 was noted as the only anomalous item in the collection, 
and its ability to produce bouquets was briefly discribed. Inside the 
box with SCP-3876 was a cabinet card portrait of a young couple in 
Victorian attire.3 


Incident 3876- 
+Expand 


Email from Junior Researcher Jennifer Dresden to 
Dr. Kate Greenaway,4 June 21, 2016, 11:42 AM: 


Hey Doc, 


The sequencer sets from last night are still 
running. You might nudge IT about that 
software patch they've been ‘getting around to' 
for the last 2 months. | swear the program gets 
slower every time we use it. 


We just got a oner. I’ve already taken pictures 
(attached), and I'll start taking samples here in 
a minute. | think I'm going to have to pull some 


have catastrophic effects on all organ systems it reaches, as it 
continuously replicates and is unable to be excreted by the urinary 
system. Cause of death is generally multiple organ failure, although 
in most cases affected individuals will be terminated and 
decontaminated prior to this. For containment procedures in these 
instances, see Addendum 505-1. 


SCP-505-1 also has an increased rate of spread through non- 
viscous fluids such as water, as would be expected of normal ink. 
Any contamination of the water table with SCP-505-1 must be 
prevented at all costs, due to the potential for an NK-class end-of- 
the-world scenario. It is unknown whether SCP-505-1's 
aforementioned property of an inversely proportional rate of spread 
will manifest in fluids, as experimentation with such high quantities 
of SCP-505-1 is strictly forbidden. Thus, any environmental 
SCP-505-1 contamination in water sources must be met with 
immediate damming and drainage into storage tanks of all affected 
areas. 


Addendum 505-1: Procedures for dealing with SCP-505-1 
contamination in humans 


Administration of multiple-dose activated charcoal has been shown 
to slow the progress of SCP-505-1 contamination in humans but is 
unable to halt the process. The only known methods of treatment for 
SCP-505-1 contamination in humans are by immediate excision of 
the affected area or continuous application of ethanol to an affected 
skin region. Topical ethanol treatment will not prevent the affected 
individual from transmitting SCP-505-1 to other surfaces and is thus 
highly discouraged except in the cases of essential personnel, in 
which case containment procedures must be observed as in all 
other sites of secondary SCP-505-1 contamination. In theory 
excision or amputation of affected areas would be the gold standard 
for treatment but contamination of surgical instruments and 
personnel remains a problem. Therefore, all cases of SCP-505-1 
contamination in humans other than essential personnel should be 
dealt with by termination followed by standard procedure of 4 M 
NaOH immersion and incineration of the remains. 


Addendum 505-2: SCP-505 retrieval history 


references to ID all of it, but I’m pretty sure the 
white flowers with the purple centers are 
anemones.° 


I’m not sure what triggered this one. Dave and 
Emily did stop by to take Steve to lunch, but 
they’ve been here before, and there weren't 
any yellow roses anyway. 


-Jenn 


Shortly after receiving the above email, Dr. Greenaway 
was contacted by Security and informed that Steven 
Mason, a member of her team, had been involved in an 
altercation in the Site-81 Bio Wing Cafeteria. During the 
altercation, multiple instances of SCP-3876-1 had 
appeared in and around the cafeteria, with ‘large piles’ 
blocking the entranceways. The individuals involved in 
the altercation had been detained, but the Bio Wing was 
being placed on Lockdown, due to the apparent breach, 
and that she needed to report to the Security Office 
immediately to brief them on the best way to reestablish 
containment. 


Excerpt from interview with Junior Researcher 
Steven Mason: 


Interviewed: Junior Researcher Steven Mason 
Interviewer: 


Junior Researcher Mason was interviewed in 
the Site-81 Infirmary upon regaining 
consciousness after the events of Incident 
3876- 


<Begin Log> 


Mason: | usually grab lunch with Dave and 
Em, and Mike and Alix. Dave and Em had a 
meeting in the conference room down the hall 


from our lab, so they stopped by to get me and 
we were gonna meet Mike and Alix in the 
cafeteria. 


: Was Campbell acting strangely at this 
point? 


Mason: Not strange, but definitely pissed. Not 
talking, real tight-lipped, sorta pale. | just 
figured that something happened at the 
meeting, although Em seemed OK. She told 
me he'd been snappy all day, and probably 
needed food. Dave just muttered something 
and walked ahead of us. 


: Did food help? 


Mason: Not really. | mean, he didn't really eat. 
He just messed around with his lunch, and 
kept shooting looks at me and Em, made 
some snide remarks, even after Mike and Alix 
got there. 


: What were these remarks? 


Mason: Well...! mean...Em’s...God, this is 
gonna sound...Em’s a toucher, OK? | mean... 
casually. She'll put her hand on your shoulder 
or your hands...you know just like incidental 
contact when she talks to you. We tease her 
about it all the time, but this...this wasn’t 
teasing. He practically called her a slut-which 
is not like Dave. 


(nervous laughter) 


Mason: So then, Em starts playing it up, to, 
like, make a joke out of it. But | think she was a 
little pissed herself, since Dave was being an 
asshat. So maybe she was hoping he'd stalk 


off, or blow up at her. | don't know, break the 
tension. So she starts leaning into me, and 
kept touching my hands, and talking in a really 
fake flirty way, and the whole time I’m looking 
at Mike and Alix, sorta like ‘get me out of this’, 
but they didn’t know what to do, and Dave’s 
just getting madder and madder, and Em is on, 
like, a mission. 


: And this is when the SCP-3876-1 
instance appeared?”