As bizarre as it felt, she was beginning to grow fond of them. But 
she felt a sense of dread forming in her stomach surrounding their 
current method of action. 


“Do you all want to... consider a plan B?” Lilibeth asked, her voice 
hesitant. Once again, everyone perked up a bit. Even Carina- from 
behind her desk in the corner of the room- seemed to stop for a 
moment as if listening intently. 


“What kind of plan B?” Perseus asked. 


“Well, what about trying to disrupt these routines the cottage tries to 
have us maintain? | mean, come on, | know we’ve all thought about 
it.” 


Suddenly the mood in the room changed from relaxation to 
concentration. Of course everyone there had thought of the idea, but 
the group had never committed to any plan, given there were so 
many unknown factors involved. Perhaps it wasn’t a bad idea. 


“But there’s no telling what would happen,” noted Perseus. 


“And we're sure there’s nothing else we could do?” Norma asked, 
“Didn’t you work with some spooky dream wizards, Perseus? Can’t 
they help?” 


Perseus stifled a laugh. 


“What? The Oneioroi? They're not wizards,” he said, peering off into 
the hallway. “At any rate, we don’t speak much anymore. They 
taught me a lot but | don’t think they’d be much help here.” 


“So our array of options is fairly narrow,” said Crux. 


“Quite,” Norma adjusted her hat. The chocolate-filled grin that had 
covered her face previously was now a look of puzzlement and 
concern; a sentiment much shared by the rest of the group. 


“The real question is: is it worth the risk?” Lilibeth asked. She could 
tell, though, that she already knew the answer. As the rest of the 
group mused on the thought, it slowly became clear to all of them as 
well. 


“Undoubtedly,” stated Crux, a slight glimmer in his eyes that almost 
looked like excitement. 


“You're right,” Norma nodded before turning her attention towards 
Perseus. 


“What about it, big guy?” she asked. He stood from his chair with a 
sense of purpose and precision, carefully placing the book he had 
been reading on a table by his side. 


“We'd have to actively sabotage the cottage’s patterns ,” he finally 
responded, “destroy as many of its anomalies that we can, and then 
bug out and hope for the best. The pump in the attic- to me at least- 
seems like it’s powering the entire place somehow. Maybe if we can 
interrupt that... | don’t know. There’s a chance that it could make 
things worse, but there’s only one way to find out.” 


Everyone shared a couple of nervous and excited glances. They 
were in agreement. 


“Hopefully, Lilibeth, if all goes well you'll get to see your daughter 
when this is all over.” 


“l- what?” Lilibeth was taken aback, before the realization set in. 
“Oh. Oh, no. Listen, Perseus if this is about that dream, when you 
told me to find the Library...” she trailed off. 


“What is it?” asked Perseus. 
“| had a daughter. Not anymore.” 


“What happened?” Crux blurted, prompting accusatory looks from 
both Norma and Perseus. 


“Crux!” Perseus scolded the gray man. 


“It's okay,” Lilibeth waved off the remark, “It’s old news, really. My 
husband and her got in a car accident about a year before | got 
stuck at the cottage. | still miss them terribly, but it’s not like there’s 
anything | can do about it.” 


“But, don’t you have family back home?” Crux continued. 


“Yeah; The Foundation,” Lilibeth gave a weak smile, “so let’s just put 
this plan into action so | can get back to them.” 


Lilibeth smashed the pump to pieces. Its dry valves and empty 
insides cracked, splintered, and dented until it was a collection of 
scrap metal and kindling strewn about the attic floor. An axe from 
the cottage’s basement did the trick, and Lilibeth found the entire 
exercise both relieving and cathartic. It was as if all of her negative 
emotions regarding this place were bubbling to the surface all at 
once: anger, sadness, disgust. 


She paused, looking at her work. After a moment, she made her 
way to the basement, stopping only at a cabinet in the study to get 
more supplies. Her feelings welled as she procured a lighter from 
her pocket, stopped, and looked at the plant at the far end of the 
basement’s cold cement floor. With lighter in one hand and axe in 
the other, she approached, and lit the vegetation ablaze. 


“What | do now, | do in remembrance for everyone who came before 
me to this place.” 


The flames licked at the cement and danced about the blackening 
shrub. Somewhere on the other side of the basement, a shadow of a 
figure descended the stairs. It made no noise, but something about 
its very presence made Lilibeth tense up. She wasn’t even certain 
why, but she felt as if her private space had suddenly been intruded 
upon. Cautiously, she turned to see it, against the floor in the middle 
of the room. She opened her mouth but had nothing to say; no 
reaction. 


“You're going to need to stop that,” it said, its voice shooting directly 
into Lilibeth’s head, as if the voice was speaking from within her. 


The shadow turned around and retrieved a fire extinguisher from 
another corner of the room. Lilibeth watched onward as it snuffed 
out the flames. She stood stuck where she was, capable of moving 
but not thinking to do so: A deer in headlights. 


“It has come to my attention that this transmitter has been 
experiencing difficulty in functioning. Now | can see why. It appears 


you have abandoned your responsibilities.” 


Suddenly Lilibeth snapped out of her trance, “responsibilities? To 
what? To this prison? Just what is this place, and just who are you?” 


“I’m an immune response.” 


Lilibeth had finally had it, swinging the axe into the wall, colliding it 
with the concrete and creating a loud smacking sound. 


“Real answers,” she brandished the weapon at the shadow, “I’m 

through with these mind games. I’ve waited decades for answers 
and you’re the first thing I’ve seen since then that has them, and 

that’s a// you have to say?” 


The shadow stepped back, almost as if caught off guard by the 
sudden hostility. 


“Why on Earth are you acting like this?” it said, “Are you displeased 
with this place-” 


“Oh you bet your silhouetted ass I’m displeased. I’d say ‘displeased’ 
is putting it lightly.” 


“Why? Have you not been treated well? Wasn't this not enough?” 


“Enough?! You trapped me here. You stole my whole life from me. 
How could | possibly be pleased about any of it?!” 


Lilibeth was in tears now, and the shadow’s posture had drooped 
slightly. For a moment the yelling gave way to the sound of... 
nothing. It was eerily quiet. No wind and no birds to be heard. The 
moment passed as Lilibeth swung the axe again; this time to the 
floor, where she could hear its blade chip slightly as it serrated the 
cement. 


“Answer me!” she demanded. 


“| had nothing to do with it!” the shadow’s composure was lost. In 
fact, it sounded like it was about to cry too. “I’m just here because 
this place stopped functioning, and was in need of immediate care. 
This is no prison!” 


“How? How exactly is this not a prison?” 
“Please put down the axe.” 

“Make me.” 

“I can’t. There’s really no time.” 


“Well then you better start talking, because I’m not doing anything 
until you tell me why you’ve trapped me and so many others before 


” 


me. 


“Listen, | don’t know what you think you’re doing right now, but you 
need to stop lying to the both of us, because that is not how this 


place works. N-” 


A cracking sound emanated from somewhere deep below the 
surface. Lilibeth’s rage slowly began to sink back into fear as the 
noises of crunching and scraping rose to the surface. 


And then, a tiny split in the concrete floor, just below her left foot. 


And then, the floor gave way to darkness. 


Addendum [579-TIMELINE]: 


Event 0: SCP-579 is discovered. Point of Origin is [DATA 
EXPUNGED] 


Event 1: Initial assessment of SCP-579 is undertaken. [DATA 
EXPUNGED] 


Event 2: SCP-579 is inadvertently removed from its point of origin. 
[DATA EXPUNGED] 


Event 3: [DATA EXPUNGED] 

Event 4: [DATA EXPUNGED] 

Event 5: [DATA EXPUNGED] 

Event 6: [DATA EXPUNGED] 

Event 7: [DATA EXPUNGED] 

Event 8: SCP-579 is successfully contained. [DATA EXPUNGED] 
Event 9: SCP-579 is moved to Site-04. [DATA EXPUNGED] 

Event 10: Containment failed. Loss of Site-04. [DATA EXPUNGED] 
Event 11: SCP-579 is successfully contained. [DATA EXPUNGED] 
Event 12: SCP-579 is moved to Site-31. [DATA EXPUNGED] 
Event 13: Containment failed. Loss of Site-31. [DATA EXPUNGED] 
Event 14: SCP-579 is successfully contained. [DATA EXPUNGED] 
Event 15: SCP-579 is moved to Site-26. [DATA EXPUNGED] 
Event 16: Containment failed. Loss of Site-26. [DATA EXPUNGED] 
Event 17: SCP-579 is successfully contained. [DATA EXPUNGED] 


Event 18: Attempt is made to destroy SCP-579. Attempt failed. 
[DATA EXPUNGED] 


Crack Fiction Contest (ONE DAY ONLY!) 


Crack Fiction. The dark, stank filled corner of the internet that the 
SCP Foundation — with all its rules, organization, and grammar- 
filled-goodness — stands strongly against, rallies against, and 
prevents from filling our site. 


Until now. 
The Contest 


You will write a piece of crack fiction for the site. The title has 
already been chosen, and there are certain requirements that come 
with each title. Each level of difficulty will give you the chance to 
earn more and more points. 


The "Winners" 


The winners will be determined by a combination of judges and 
rating. The judges (who are entirely impartial) will be required to 
drink heavily before scoring. As a note, this contest will employ no 
judges who are aged 21 or younger, in accordance with regulations 
and laws concerning the consumption of alcohol. 


Bonus points are awarded for selecting higher difficulties. Further 
bonus points will be awarded if the subject of the story actually 
upvotes your story. Collusion and coercion are highly encouraged. 


The top rated stories will be read aloud by selected staff members 
and posted to the site with those stories — for all eternity. 


Being Classy 
Don't. 


Rules 


The basic rules of the contest are as follows: 


th, 


You must write a story using one of the titles. Once a title is 
claimed, no one else can write about it. You claim a title by 
editing this page and adding your name to the end of the title 
in the provided formatting. Once you've posted, edit again and 
make the title link to your page. 


. Your entry must meet the word count requirements as listed 


with the title. These word counts were determined using the 
subject's highest and lowest SCP numbers. Use 
WordCounter to determine the total. The title doesn't count 
against the word count. 


. Your entry should be in the ‘tale’ format. While it may include 


other elements from the site (SCP excerpts, for example), it 
should be a tale primarily. 


. Once posted, you may not be delete or edit your entry, 


regardless of performance. Articles that dip into the deletion 
range are expected. 


. No Minions© 
. Judges are given a list of things to look for in each piece of 


crackfiction, but they are also given the latitude to rule that 
"they are just too drunk for this shit" and award whatever they 
want. 


. Erotica, while not required, is technically permissible. 


However, it should be tagged ‘adult’ and possess a short 
disclaimer. 


8. Once posted, the entry should be tagged with "af2016". 
9. No whining. Points will be deducted for whining. 
10. Whine. Points will be awarded for whining. 
Time Frame 
v 
IT'S OVER! 
Story Tiers 


Bonus points are awarded for selecting a higher tier, as noted. Read 
above for claiming stories. 


Safe 


Safe articles have no additional requirements and receive no bonus 
points. 


Bjornsen and the 
Worst Sweater 
ver 
If It Looks Like|a Eta Carinae 
Duck, Swims 
Like a Duck, and 
Quacks Like a 
Duck, It's 
Probably a 
Shapeshifting 
iving Nightmare 
Sophia Light At Steeltitan 
The End Of The 
Unne 
Glass x Silberescher 
Diogenes 4 Life! 
< 
A Shotglass Full rumetzen 


Strongest Drink 


You Know 
Ime o olera 


Gears is totally Dr Solo 
not a robot, 


Leave the 


Fucking Lids on 


the Garbage 
Bins 
exact | oon foe fe 
€CKO 
How Tilda Zyn 


Moose Got Their 
MSS ae (see 
Quik and ivio Vanson -8 0 
The Factually | thedeadlymoose 2 
Correct and 
Profoundly 
Engrossing 
Story of Rose 
Labelle, Savior 
of Site 19, Bane 
of the 
Anomalous, and 
Emissary of the 
Library, in which 
She Ventures 
into Lands 
Unknown to 
Search for the 
Lost Tome of the 
Daevite Empire, 
Meets Several 
Beings Both 
Alien and Divine, 
Discovers (and 
Slays) the 
Darkness within 
Her Own Heart, 
and Enjoys a 
Complimentary 
Continental 
Breakfast at a 
Two Star Hotel 


THE WINNER FOR SAFEJS.... 
Gears is totally not a robot, 
guys! by Dr Solo! 

Euclid 


Euclid articles must include a character from a different work of 
fiction. Bonus points will be awarded for both obscurity (the non- 
Chewbacca Wookie from Attack of the Clones) or popularity 
(Naruto). Additional points will be given if at least one staff member 
squees on the discussion page. Even more points will be awarded 
for one act of horrible mischaracterization. 


Titie Ciaim Site Score | Judge / Bonus 

Heiden Weeps,) FUCKING 10 4 
KAKTUS 

Harry Potter arid FuzzyRobin -3 2 
the Amulet of 
immortality 
Brothers in EmberTech 4 0 
Arms: A 
Strelnikov/Heavy 
Weapons Guy 
story 
SyFy Channel| kol aumer 1 2 
Presents: 
BEARMAGGEDONT 
Impressive, You HatlsMyFriend) -4 2 


Seem to Have} AKA MrHat 
Self- Terminated 
The Old Man A Blessed Feline 0 2 
and the Ck- who's also a 
Class Reality | total noob and 
Restructuring | this edit is his 
Event first ever on this 
site! 
Dr Gerald and) SinfulSyntax -1 2 


Mr Magoos Big 
Day Out With 
Pee Wee 
erman!! 
The Spider and Dewman 
the Flower: 
Natasha 
Romanoff/ 
Pepper Potts/ 
SCP-105/Andrea 


Love And Cyantreuse 
Relative 

Dimensions in 

Fate: Dr. Clef/ 


Everett Mann | Steeltitan 
and the Great 
Mustache 
Fiasco|Everett 
Mann and the 
Great Mustache 
iaSco 
NO ITEMS. overandoverandover 
HARD TO 
DESTROY 
REPTILE ONLY. 


DUCK POND 
Inclone 


abcoa 
Dee Deep DAVEYOUFOOL-6 
a Archive eisai 


=e ines Sate 
day at the scp 


THE WINNER FOR EUCLID 
IS.... The Minions© day at the 


scp by Randomini 


Keter 


Keter articles must be entirely dialogue or possess none at all to be 
awarded bonus points. 


Lime Jello, the 
Dr. Bjornsen 


Constipation CumaeanSibyl 


You'll Need 

a Shot of 

Pitocin 

Gaff, andthe | Tophatlord 
World Gaffs with 

YOU 

It's Not Kestin 
Pronounced Like 

the Thesaurus, 

Dammit! 

Son of Fritz DrMorris -6 2 
Williams: The 


Administrationing 
The ae Dr Theodore S| 2 
Deadly Sins Hysteria 


Series: Dr. 
oe Sorts 


Sk oe F Berle L 
Paws- A 
Nekoverse!AU 


(SCP-2000, 
Gears, Troy 


Look Asshole, 
Your Tab's 
Seven Months 
Old and This is 
the Third Time 


You've Pissed 


on My Tables. 

Lust in the Time WrongJohnSilver12 
of Anomalous 

Cholera 


THE WINNER FOR KETERIS.... 
It's Not Pronounced Like the 
Thesaurus, Dammit! by Kestin 


Neutralized 


Neutralized articles must be posted on fanfiction.net or 
archiveofourown.org. You must link to the crossposting in the 
discussion page to receive bonus points. 


itie 
Kill "The 
Headlights" and 
Put It in 


Elliott's Guide to 

Sticking that 

Green Thumb 

Right Up Your 

ASS 

Legally a Falcan Waterfire 4 2 
(For Tax 


Purposes 

Clef and Adams QuillofBlindie | -7 
Roadtrip to 

Russia 

SCP the Anime, MrWrong 

part 4 (Gears/ 

Iceberg, Clef/ 

Kondraki, 

Rights/Light, 


- The Lord O' 
Launcher: The| Stonefish 
Trials & 
Tribulations of 
Dr. Epiphany 
Trebuchet 


THE WINNER FOR 
NEUTRALIZED IS.... SCP the 
Anime, part 4 (Gears/Iceberg, 
Clef/Kondraki, Rights/Light, 
Kain, monkey!Bright) by 
MrWrong 


Thaumiel