Briton(?) 
rumoured to 
have attempted 
to colonise 
America shortly 
before 
Columbus. An 
unusually 
accurate 
navigator, and 
reportedly in 
possession of 
several 
abnormal 
devices of 
unclear purpose. 
Conjectured to 
have been 
involved ina 
series of chrono- 
manipulative 
rituals of 
unknown 
strength. 

—See bel#0w-. 


Predictably enough, our attempts to document 
URA-961 1/SCP-2235 have resulted in a tangled mess of 


broken code and enough parsing errors to bring down 
the whole 22-hundred block. | don't have time to 
restructure the format (my memorisation period is almost 
up, apparently), so I'll leave it to the next 4/2235 
Researcher to sort out. If you're reading this, that's you. 


| presume there's some kind of system going on here 
that analyses issues with documentation, so it's likely not 
a coincidence | was picked from the pool. Or maybe it's 
just been bounced around for years until it's reached 
someone with the necessary powers. Whatever the 
case, | clearly have a job to do, so I'm going to do it. 


Effective immediately, all references to Subject 01-50, 
and the position they used to hold, are to be expunged 
from Foundation records across the boards. This 
includes both past and present information, as well as 
anything that implies their existence. I'm not taking 
chances with someone this high up in our system. The 
subject's next-of-kin, if they have any, will be notified 
according to standard procedures, and I've left a 
memorandum to mask it as a max-sec antimemetic 
hazard breach. Hopefully one of the meme squads will 
sound the all-clear and nobody will ask any difficult 
questions. 


Finally, I've taken the liberty of pushing the next re-write 
forward, so you'll be getting this pretty much as soon as | 
forget it. | know it's a hassle, but nothing here's ever a 
walk in the park. | don't know what 01-50 did, or what 
they hoped to gain from it, but we've got to prioritise 
sterilising our database over keeping our staff members' 
records intact, no matter what high regard we hold them 
in. Twelve is a much more pleasing number, anyway. 


~ Dr. Percy Hussel, RAISA, Overseer Council Maintenance Division 
Footnotes 


1. A hazard affecting information stored in physical formats, rather 
than information present in a human mind. Compare with immaterial 


*General Network Alert* 

Warning, SysAdmin 76-4498 may be fabricating alarms 
to distract Security. All personnel report sightings 
immediately. 


You have not accessed this terminal in three minutes. Do 
you require assistance? 


You have not accessed this terminal in 10 minutes. Do 
you require assistance? 


You have not accessed this terminal in one hour. Do you 
require assistance? 


You have not accessed this terminal in two hours. Do 
you require assistance? 


*General Network Alert* 
Warning, SysAdmin 76-4498 is to be terminated on sight. 
SysAdmin is armed and dangerous. 


You have not accessed this terminal in three hours. Do 
you require assistance? 


*General Network Alert* 
Warning, Site 76 Lockdown initiated. All SCP rooms 
sealing. 


*General Network Alert* 

All Level 1 and 2 personnel are to proceed directly to 
designated Containment Breach Defense Points and arm 
themselves. Follow direction of Level 3 personnel. 


infohazards, cognitohazards, and anomalous memes. 

2. The rate of decay for meta-information about the anomaly itself is 
much slower than that of Class 01 Subjects, but should not be 
discounted as an obstruction to containment — variations in time- 
scale from several thousand years to mere seconds have been 
observed. 

3. The current global find/replace passcode is "%{2/TRun.kL- 
ess#Le8s-ofs TO#N3//%". Just make sure to delete it after you're 
finished. 


SCP-2236: Optical Instrument 


Item #: SCP-2236 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2236 is to be stored in its 
pouch (pictured) when not in use. The pouch containing SCP-2236 
is to be stored in an airtight humidity-controlled and temperature- 
controlled case. To prevent security breaches, use of SCP-2236 
must be approved by the administrator of Site 32. 


Addendum: Under no circumstances is SCP-2236 to be brought 
into the presence of any internal Foundation memoranda or 
documents, including its own containment records. 


Description: SCP-2236 is a cylindrical optical instrument which 
superficially resembles an early-model pocket microscope. The 
instrument is 11.6 cm in length, 1.9 cm in diameter, and has a 
planoconvex lens at each end with very slight convexity. One end is 
equipped with an eyepiece; the other end is flanged at an angle. The 
lenses and the body of the instrument enclose an airtight chamber 
between the lenses. This chamber is filled with a faintly 
phosphorescent gas which has not been analyzed. 


When a written document is observed through SCP-2236, the 
content of the text that is examined appears different to the 
observer. See testing log. 


Testing Log: 


Please record all test results using the format below: 
Researcher | Date of test: 

Text: 

Result: 


Researcher | Date of Test: Dr. Patel | 08- - 

Text: Standard sheet of A4 writing paper with the text "THIS IS A 
TEST" printed in black 72-point type. 

Result: Text appeared as "LET'S START WITH SOMETHING 
SIMPLE." In this test and all subsequent tests, text appeared to 
have a lettering size and typeface or handwriting consistent with the 
sample under investigation. 


Text: Standard sheet of A4 writing paper with the text "Hello world." 
printed in black 72-point type. 

Result: Text appeared as "| wonder if they restocked the good 
cookies in the vending machine." 


Text: Standard sheet of A4 writing paper with the text "This is a test" 
handwritten by Dr. Garcia. Dr. Garcia was not aware of SCP-2236 
and was not involved in testing it apart from providing this sample to 
Dr. Patel without being informed of the purpose of the request. 
Result: Text appeared as "Piss off" in Dr. Garcia's handwriting. 


Text: Page 83 of "The Spectacular Spignetti", a popular romance 
novel about circus acrobats that was found in the Site 32 break 
room. 

Result: Excerpt of text: "...all crap, but | need the money for Mitch's 
medicine. And the pay sucks. | have a master's degree from 
Williams and my advance comes out to, fuck, eight cents per page? 
At least nobody will know..." 


Text: Page of instruction manual for coffee maker found in break 
room. 

Result: Excerpt of text: "... it was a mistake for me to leave the farm 
and come to Hangzhou ..." 


Text: Sheet music for "Imagine", by John Lennon. 
Result: Score for "Baa Baa Black Sheep", lyrics changed to mis- 
spelled expletives. 


Text: Page of machine-generated random numbers 
Result: No change 


Text: Page 22 of the first edition of "For Whom the Bell Tolls" 
Result: A graphic description of an amorous encounter with a 


chambermaid in the Hotel Ambos-Mundos in Havana, Cuba. 


Text: Printout of the text of a Wikipedia article on "History of 
chemistry" 

Result: Barely-coherent text, apparently expressing several 
contradictory arguments concerning the themes discussed in the 
document interspersed with unflattering personal impressions of 
many of its draftsmen. 


Text: Clay tablet, dated to c. 19th century BCE, inscribed with text in 
Akkadian cuneiform. Text is a receipt for a cartload of wool. 

Result: Text in Akkadian cuneiform, expressing delight over the 
high price paid for the wool, and mentioning the narrator's need to 
evacuate his bowels. 


Text: Page from Voynich manuscript 
Result: Untranslated text with different glyphs in the same writing 
system. 


Text: Abstract of scientific journal article on microbiology 

Result: Text describing the early stages of planning a wedding, 
interspersed with surprise and pleasure that "Rick" had proposed to 
the narrator. 


Text: Screenplay of , a major studio motion picture widely 
considered to be a commercial and critical failure 

Result: A projected studio income statement in which the ticket and 
merchandising revenue streams from the film are drastically 
overestimated 


Text: Photograph of the unsolved Zodiac Killer cypher 
Result: Address of a residence in Vallejo, California. 


Text: Text of Quranic sura "Yusuf" in classical Arabic 
Result: Unchanged, except for immaterial spelling and punctuation 
variations. 


Text: Ball-point pen scribblings by Dr. Patel's four-year-old daughter 
Result: Architectural specifications for a three-story castle-like 
building to be constructed out of cupcakes and various confectionery 
items. Engineering analysis has determined that the structure is 


unstable and unsuited for its specified purpose of housing a "unicorn 
princess". 


Text: Several pages of output produced by SCP-887. 
Result: Pages are blank 


Text: "Time Cube" essay by Gene Ray 
Result: Well-reasoned critique of generally-accepted theories of 
temporal physics. 


Text: Press release in Korean by North Korea's Rodong Sinmun 
entitled "Kim Jong-un Provides Field Guidance to Chonji Lubricant 
Factory" 

Result: Korean text structured as a dialogue between two 
interlocutors, debating the proper temperature at which kimchi is to 
be served. The narrative bears evidence that both debaters’ text 
was aggressively edited by a third person for unknown purposes. 


Researcher|Date: Dr. Lock|20- - 


Text: Mastering the art of French Cooking by Julia Child (page 78) 
Result: Excerpt of text "...and maybe it could use little salt here and 
there but it can be served like it is right now." 


Researcher|Date: Dr. Califano|21- - 


Text: Card from SCP-2203, Test A-67 

Result: Card appears covered in various technical specifications, 
including levels of various hormones over time, physiognometric 
analysis of various body and facial features, chronological history of 
life events, and interspersed commentary: "Why did you hurt her?" 
"No one is better off with you since you keep acting like that." 
"Grammie still knows best." 


« SCP-2235 | SCP-2236 | SCP-2237 » 


SCP-2237: "There is always a cost..." 


Archivist's Note: The following document is maintained 
for historical purposes only. For an up-to-date copy of 
this document appropriate for your security clearance, 
please contact your AAC/HMC Liaison. 


This document has been ratified by the leading members of the 
American Secure Containment Initiative, His Majesty's Foundation 
for the Secure Containment of the Paranormal, the Holy Emperor's 
Council on Unearthly Matters, and the Tsar's Seers on July 9, 1915, 
as one of the first documents of the SCP Foundation, a new 
organization formed from the aforementioned organizations in order 
to better perform the functions of Securing that which cannot yet be 
understood, Containing that which would threaten the public's 
perception of normality, and Protecting the public from threats 
preternatural or otherwise not yet understood. 


Item Number: SCP-2237 
Classification: Euclid (Moderate Containment Difficulty) 


Procedures for Containment: The object in question is to be 
guarded at all times by armed personnel stationed along a fortified 
barrier surrounding the object. The true nature of the object and all 
artifacts retrieved from within is to remain classified to those without 
the highest level of security clearance within our respective 
organizations until such time as a singular security clearance system 
is implemented. The armed personnel must be citizens of the British 
Empire versed in that Empire's military customs; likewise, all 
armaments must be of British manufacture and the cover story given 
to civilians approaching the item is to be that of a high-security 
British military facility within the Hafiyan sub-territory. In the event of 
a hostile takeover, all ally organizations to His Majesty's Foundation 
SCP are to engage in whatever military actions necessary to re- 
acquire the object and surrounding facilities, re-staffing the 
fortifications with personnel from the organization's respective home 


country if necessary. 


These Procedures for Containment are hereby ratified on July 9, 
1915 


Object Description: SCP-2237 is the buried remains of a city of 
unknown origins located in the Hafiyan Desert in Northern Africa. 
SCP-2237 came to the attention of the HMFSCP during the British 
Empire's conquest of the region in the 1890s. It is believed that its 
isolation has contributed to the lack of knowledge on the Hafiyan 
natives' part of SCP-2237. 


The object was determined to require containment upon discovery of 
several forms of technology not yet available to the general 
populace. Technology recovered includes, but is not limited to, 
weapons projecting an undetermined form of energy (presumably 
collected from the ether), consoles capable of displaying moving 
images with no apparent projector or reel of film, alloys used in the 
construction of buildings that surpass even the most advanced of 
today's forges and building techniques in strength and height, 
automated recording systems that also do not utilize film, and 
incorporeal automata capable of speech. The majority of structures 
have either been demolished or otherwise destroyed by the passage 
of time. 


Physical records and records accessible by consoles in a building 
near the center of the city (believed to be the city library) are written 
in multiple languages, ranging from Sumerian cuneiform, Egyptian 
hieroglyphs, various forms of Latin, various forms of Japanese, 
various forms of Chinese, modern English, modern Russian, and 
modern French. These records contain references to the American 
Secure Containment Initiative, His Majesty's Foundation for the 
Secure Containment of the Paranormal, the Tsar's Seers, and the 
Holy Emperor's Council on Unearthly Matters, necessitating their 
contact by the HMFSCP. 


At the center of the city, there is a sculpture of abstract design 
(believed to have served as a monument) that bears the following 
inscription in four separate languages: modern English, modern 
French, modern Russian, and modern Japanese: 


"You are warriors, the children of a conquering army. You carry the 
legacy of the human race on your shoulders. Do not stray from the 
path. You have to be strong, for the dead, and for those not yet 
living. We believe in you." 


The meaning of this inscription is not yet known. Analysis of records 
from within the city is ongoing. 


For further information regarding SCP-2237, see 
Document 2237 Alfa. 


« SCP-2236 | SCP-2237 | SCP-2238 » 


SCP-2238: "Broadcasting Live From Out of Time" 


Item #: SCP-2238 
Object Class: Safe Keter 


Special Containment Procedures: Foundation personnel are to 
monitor all local television broadcasts at all times. If an SCP-2238-A 
instance is reported to have occurred, Foundation personnel are to 
record said instance for the purpose of record keeping. Additionally, 
all civilians involved! will be detained by Foundation personnel and 
released if they are found to have no involvement with the 
SCP-2238 phenomenon and are to undergo Class-A amnestics. 


Description: SCP-2238 is the official designation of an anomalous 
phenomenon primarily affecting television broadcast stations in the 
Southern United States, manifesting itself as a series of historical 
documentaries within the affected area. This phenomenon affects 
specific time slots within the affected region by ‘hijacking’ local TV 
transmitters through a currently unknown method. 


The main broadcast intrusion occurs during the airing of historical 
documentaries. The types of documentary that SCP-2238 affects 
are primarily made by European or American filmmakers, 
specifically those that focus on the First and Second World War, 
although it has been reported that SCP-2238 will affect others that 
do not fall into this category.