Addendum 3141-A: In accordance with Ethics Committee finding 
3141-1, Foundation mathematicians are not to attempt to utilize 
SCP-3141 to reverse previous misuses. This is due to the currently 
unknown principles by which the anomaly operates and a possibly 
observed phenomenon by which actual stable state probabilities 
return to non-anomalous levels as time passes. This is possibly due 
to the variation of current real world conditions from initial conditions 
by which SCP-3141 calculations were based. To date, the 
Foundation is not statistically certain as to the existence of this 
reversion phenomenon. 


Addendum 3141-B: 


Incident Report for the events that occurred on / 
/20 in ,USA 


Background: At the time that these events occurred, the 
Foundation was not yet aware of SCP-3141. Foundation 
operatives had become aware of possible anomalous 
material at , inc., hereafter referred to 
as Firm A, as the result of regular economic analysis and 
standard Foundation predictive modeling. Firm A was 
listed as a low priority concern and Agent Geoffrey 
Daniels, under the alias of George Denver, was directed 
to apply for an opening as an actuarial analyst at the 
firm. What follows is a transcript of third interview (first in- 
person) of Daniels and the subsequent events retrieved 
from a recording device hidden on Daniels’ person. 


<Begin Log> 


Participants: Geoffrey Daniels, alias George 
Denver; P_, chief actuary for Firm A. 


[Timestamp 12:00:10] 


P_ : Well Mr. Denver, may | call you George?, 
thank you for coming. It’s a pleasure to meet 
you in person. 


Daniels: Of course. I’m glad to be here. The 
office looks wonderful. 


P: Yes, | think that you'll find that everyone 
here quite likes their position. We really are 
doing some cutting edge work here—really 
redefining the field, so to speak. 


D: Yes, I’ve been doing my homework on you. 
You have quite the impressive track record. 


[DATA EXPUNGED FOR BREVITY] 
[Timestamp 12:32:24] 


P: Well George, it seems like you may be the 
exact kind of person we're looking for here at 
. | would love to show you around the 


office if you have the time. 
D: That sounds excellent, sir. Lead the way. 


[The sound of moving chairs, rustling 
papers, can be heard.] 


P: We really have a great team here. Truly a 
bunch of winners. You know what | like in an 
employee, George? I’m sure you do, I’ve been 
blabbering at you for the last 30 minutes, but 
I’m going to tell you again. | like an employee 
that can get the job done. No shortcuts, no 
compromises. We’re both actuaries here, so of 
course you know about risk. But you also know 
without risk, there’s no reward. Without putting 
yourself out there a little bit, there’s no chance 
in Hell on any return. | have a team here that 
takes risks. My team here, they all know what 
it takes to get shit done. [P coughs loudly. 
The sound is muffled] My team, they go to 
Hell and back for me in order to make sure 
that this company turns a profit. And they do a 
pretty good job if you ask me. You know what 
it takes to succeed. | can see that in you, | 
really can. | think you have real 

potential. Anyway, here’s our main work area. 


[Beeping sounds are audible, probably an 
electronic lock.] 


D screaming: Oh GOD what the FUCK?! 
<End Log, Timestamp 12:34:51> 


At 12:35pm Agent Daniels activated his distress beacon. 
No more communication occurred after that. Three 
Foundation agents—Amanda Stiles, Philip Morehouse, 
and Juan Schaffer, hereby referred to as “the team’— 
stationed outside immediately enacted contingency plans 
stormed the building. The team used stairwells to access 


the sixth floor where the interview was taking place, 
incapacitating two security guards and one unidentified 
civilian in the process. Foundation support suppressed 
phone lines and cell phone signals coming from the 
building in order to prevent local interference. 


Upon reaching the sixth floor agents noted the presence 
of the scent of sulfur and excessive smoke. Fire alarms 
appeared to be turned off. It took the team approximately 
two minutes to find the location where communication 
had been lost with Daniels. No contact with Firm A 
employees was made on the floor until the team reached 
the areathat P referred to as the work area. 


Foundation agents encountered Agent Daniels along 
with three adult males and two adult females. Daniels 
was incapacitated and laying in the corner of the room. 
All of the other individuals in the room, referred to 
hereafter as subjects, were naked and performing some 
kind of ritualistic dance around a pentacle in the center of 
the room. All subjects possessed tattoos on their body 
depicting elaborate mathematical notation. In the center 
of the pentacle lay a pulsating organic mass that was 
impacted with a Texas Instruments TI-30XS MultiView 
Scientific Calculator, a red and black beeswax candle, 
and three [REDACTED]. 


The team successfully incapacitated all subjects and with 
local assistance had them remanded into Foundation 
custody. The incident was explained as a social media 
prank gone wrong. Letters of resignation were forged for 
all subjects and sent to Firm A. Subjects were given 
Class D amnestics and returned to families with a 
fabricated story of a bus accident. Agent Daniels 
suffered no permanent damage. 


Addendum 3141-C: From the tattoos on the subjects involved in 
Incident 3141-A the Foundation was able to compile SCP-3141. The 
subjects at Firm A were apparently using SCP-3141 to alter the 
expected lifespan of purchasers of the firm’s retirement annuities, 
reducing their lifesoans by years. It is unclear how many 


premature deaths this has caused, but estimates range from 2,000 
to [REDACTED].4 To this date it is unclear what purpose the 
ritualistic elements practiced by the subjects served. It should be 
noted that Foundation testing has concluded that such elements are 
not required in order for the effects of SCP-3141 to manifest. 


To date, additional firms have been discovered to be using 
SCP-3141, and only 2 of them appeared to practice ritual elements 
in their utilization of the theorem. Over half of discovered firms used 
the theorem to shorten lifespans of annuity recipients, while 
approximately one fifth used it to improve the health and safety of 
insurance recipients. The purpose of use in other firms remains 
unclear. Additionally, full proofs of SCP-3141 have appeared in 
journals and publications. Each has been successfully suppressed. 
Resurgence of SCP-3141 proofs in previously affected journals has 
been observed to occur at a rate of .15. Each proof has been 
markedly unique. 


To date, despite extensive efforts led by head researcher Dr. 
Duncan Kemp, the Foundation has been unable to independently 
produce a proof of SCP-3141. The method by which individuals are 
able to conceive proofs for SCP-3141 is unknown. Therefore, at this 
time it is suspected that gestation of knowledge of SCP-3141 and 
related proofs is anomalous. It is unknown whether such knowledge 
occurs spontaneously, or if it is being imparted by groups of interest. 


Researcher's note: We've spent four years working on this project, 
unable to make any headway. And yet, any time a new instance of a 
3141 proof pops up, it seems obvious. Surely it's impossible, but it 
feels as if elementary axioms are changing every time one of these 
new proofs show up. Frankly, we have no clue where to go from 
here. 

—Dr. Duncan Kemp 


Footnotes 

1. Knowledge required principally includes but is not limited to a 
strong knowledge of probability theory and complex analysis. 

2. Testing has shown that stable state probabilities,$\pi_i$, 
described in instances of SCP-3141-$\pi$can differ from real world 
probabilities by as much as .15. Conventional laws of probability 
must hold. (i.e. for each i, O<$\pi_i$s1, and$\sum_{i=1}{n} \pi_i = 


1$.) 


3. The least squares approximation of a solution has been found to 
have no anomalous properties. 

4. Estimates come from calculations involving derived long term 
probabilities and number of annuities sold by Firm A. 


SCP-3142: If you can dream it, you can do it (as long 
as your dream is of being broke) 


Item #: SCP-3142 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: All major American financial 
institutions have been advised to monitor consumer accounts for 
unexplained fluctuations, with the stated goal of preventing software 
malfunction. Foundation personnel embedded within the 
numismatics community are to suppress knowledge of the existence 
of SCP-3142. Individuals claiming to have experienced incidents 
consistent with SCP-3142 are to be located and amnesticized 
immediately; however, due to the detailed knowledge of SCP-3142 
required to induce anomalous effects, this has been deemed a low- 
risk threat. 


Access to Document 3142-01 is to be restricted to financially stable 
Level-3 personnel with registered personal checking accounts at 
regulated financial institutions. Monetary losses incurred during 
testing of SCP-3142 will be reimbursed by the Foundation. To 
reduce expenditure, preferential access to Document 3142-01 is to 
be given to personnel with countermemetic training. 


Description: SCP-3142 is an unused design for a commemorative 
coin in the denomination of $$i$1 intended for production by the 
United States Mint in 2001. SCP-3142's technical specifications 
include a 38.1 mm diameter and a composition of 90% silver to 10% 
copper, consistent with contemporary $1 US commemorative coins. 
Further description of SCP-3142, including potential financial 
infohazards, is available in Document 3142-01. 


SCP-3142's anomalous properties manifests when an individual 
constructs an accurate mental image of SCP-3142. Immediately 
following visualization, one of the following events will occur: 


¢ The net balance of one personal checking account registered 
by the individual will decrease by one US dollar (or foreign 
equivalent, subject to current exchange rates). All records of 
this account, digital and otherwise, will instantaneously 
change to reflect the new balance. 
* If the individual does not maintain a personal checking 
account, currency within 10 cm of the individual will become 
altered to reflect a loss of one US dollar. Bills and coins may 
be instantaneously created, destroyed, or substituted to 
accomplish this effect. All new or altered money appears 
indistinguishable from genuine instances of the original type of 
currency. 
Individuals without an active checking account or at least one 
US dollar (or equivalent) within 10 cm will dematerialize for 
eleven minutes and thirty-nine seconds a period of time 
inversely proportional to the current legal minimum wage in 
the individual's present location. In no cases has the duration 
of the disappearance exceeded the amount of time required to 
earn $1 under US federal minimum wage.? Following 
reappearance, individuals are aware that time has elapsed but 
unable to remember any details of their experience during the 
interval. 


SCP-3142's anomalous effects manifest repeatedly with each new 
attempted visualization. No upper limit on the frequency of 
SCP-3142's effects has been observed to date. 


+ SCP-3142 Recovery Information 


SCP-3142 was discovered by the Foundation on 
November 14, 2001, following widespread reports of 
financial anomalies among US Mint employees. All 
affected individuals were determined to have been 
involved in the design or production of a commemorative 
coin, referred to within the Mint as 01CE. Foundation 
employees administered amnestics to all affected 
employees and other witnesses, then retrieved all 
descriptions and information pertaining to 01CE (later 
reclassified as SCP-3142). A planned press release for 
the coin is reproduced below, with potential infohazards 


Control: What are they saying, 193? 


D-193: | don't know, but I'm getting out of here. It will get 
better further on. It has to. 


D-193 starts to run on down the hall. 
Control: Negative, D-193. Return at once. 


D-193: | can't, sir. It's terrible back there. It will be better 
further on. Much better. 


The log continues for minutes until the feed is 
inexplicably cut off. 


<end log> 


« SCP-397 | SCP-398 | SCP-399 » 


removed. 


WASHINGTON — On December 5, 2001, the 
United States Mint will celebrate the 100th 
birthday of with the release of the 
American Imagination Commemorative Silver 
Dollar (product code 01CE). For generations, 

's work has captured the imaginations of 
Americans young and old, and we honor his 
memory with this coin's appropriately 
whimsical denomination of $$i$ — the basis of 
imaginary numbers. 


The obverse side of the American Imagination 
Commemorative Silver Dollar features a 
portrait of beside the iconic 

logo. Inscriptions include include "LIBERTY," 
"IN GOD WE TRUST," "2001," and " = 


The reverse side features , as 
seen in the Pictures logo. Inscriptions 
include "E PLURIBUS UNUM," "UNITED 
STATES OF AMERICA," "$i$ DOLLARS," and 
"If you can dream it, you can do it." 


Please note that this coin has no real 
monetary value. 


During recovery, Agent Joshua Ogunleye conducted the 
following interview with Miranda Gresham, an artist 
employed by the Mint who contributed to the design of 
SCP-3142. Gresham was one of employees found to 
have been financially affected by SCP-3142. 


<Begin Log> 


Ogunleye: Hello, Ms. Gresham. Please, take 
a seat. I'd like to ask you a few questions 
about the discrepancies in your bank account 
that you mentioned. 


Gresham: All right. 


Ogunleye: Thank you. First, when did you first 
begin to notice that some of your money was 
missing? 


Gresham: | think it was about three weeks 
ago. | remember it was just after | came up 
with the design for 01CE, right before | started 
actually sculpting it. 


Ogunleye: And how did you find out about the 
discrepancy? 


Gresham: | keep a pretty close eye on my 
money, which | guess is appropriate given 
what | do for a living. One day | went to the 
bank, and | found out the balance they showed 
didn't match up with what | had written down in 
my checkbook. The difference just got bigger 
and bigger every time | checked, especially 
when I'd been working a lot. 


Ogunleye: Did they have any idea where the 
money went? 


Gresham: None. No suspicious transactions 
or anything. | think they must be covering 
something up, because otherwise | don't know 
how all that money just disappears. Unless... 


Ogunleye: Go on. 


Gresham: No, it's a stupid idea. Just forget | 
even said anything. 


Ogunleye: Please, I'd like to hear it. 


Gresham: <Sighs> All right. So, if | have one 
of these $i$-dollar coins, that's basically an 
imaginary dollar, right? 


Ogunleye: | suppose so. 


Gresham: And if | imagine a real dollar, that 
would also be like having an imaginary dollar. 


Ogunleye: Okay. 


Gresham: So if | imagine this $i$-dollar coin, 
and $i$ times $i$ is minus one, does that 
mean...? 


<Silence for approximately five seconds> 


Gresham: Like | said, dumb idea. Obviously it 
doesn't work like that. 


Ogunleye: ...Of course not. Thank you for 
your time, Ms. Gresham. 


<End Log> 
Footnotes 


1. In mathematics, $i$is defined as the square root of -1. 
2. Currently eight minutes and seventeen seconds as of 7/24/2009 


SCP-3143: Murphy Law in... The Foundation Always 
Rings Twice! 


Item #: SCP-3143 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: Attempts to contain SCP-3143 
are ongoing. A Foundation-operated bot (I/O-ISMETA) is to monitor 
online fiction communities for signs of its emergence. When found, 
an authorized member of the Pataphysics Department is to be 
assigned to deconstruct it.