Input: Dr. C. “Photosynthetic” Elliott 

Output: 3-foot-tall mound of plant matter, which upon prodding 
resolved into several dozen potted plants being carried by a tiny 
female in a green lab coat. Soon after touching the plants, | felt 
dizzy, and locked Mini-Photosynthetic in while | visited the Site 
infirmary. Again. 

Note: Returned to my lab to find it completely swamped in plant 
growth. The things are toxic, and they bite. No sign of Mini- 
Photosynthetic. 


Test Log 10 (7/07/20 , 12:00 PM) 

Input: Dr Everett Mann 

Output: Tiny male in a lab coat, with a gigantic mustache. The 
damned thing is almost tentacle like. And, for some reason, he has 
what appears to be a mind wiped Mini-D-class on a chain. 

Note: Mini-Mann has been quite helpful in showing me how to really 
use the device. Apparently it even has a portable handle, makes this 
much easier! 


Test Log 11 (7/07/20 , 1:00 PM) 

Input: The disassembled pieces of Hatbot 

Output: A rather smaller version of the robot in question, really cute, 
actually. Reminds me of one of those old cartoon robots, with the 
square heads. And, even funnier, it speaks entirely in Lolcat! 

Note: Upon introducing Mini-Hatbot to Mini-Mann, M-H declared ‘| 
can Haz your death?’ drew a butcher knife from somewhere, and 
chased MM out of the room. Damn those buggers move fast. What 
the hell is going on? 


Test Log 11 (7/07/20 , 5:00 PM) 

Input: Agents Dodridge and Lament 

Output: Making use of the new found portable aspect of SCP-5555- 
J, | was able to snag both agents at once! The results were... 
interesting. Both minis showed an increase in melanin to their skin, 
as well as a lightening of their hair, which seemed to be in 
permanent spikes. | will also note their collars absolutely refused to 
lay down. 

Note: The two minis, after a long conversation, declared me to be a 
‘bro’ and produced a mini-keg from somewhere, encouraging me to 
drink. These are some of the greatest people | have ever met, Mini 
or no. 

Note: | woke up in a bathtub filled with ice. And dicks drawn on my 
face. | don't feel so good... 

Note: The little bastards took BOTH my kidneys! 


Test Log 12 (7/09/20 , 9:00 AM) 

Input: SCP-542 

Output: Tiny male Frankenstein's monster, minus the bolts. Chatted 
about politics for about ninety seconds, then whipped out a scalpel 
and went for my kidneys. I'm not sure whether or not to be glad that 


they were already missing. 


Test Log 13 (7/09/20 , 11:30 AM) 

Input: Myself (Dr. C ) 

Output: Tiny male carrying tiny Lego models of seventeen different 
SCP objects. He immediately stuck the tiny Lego 320 to the tiny 
Lego 682. When | came to, my lab was in shambles, but Mini-me 
was still there — scorched, sooty, and dazed, but grinning. 

Note: I'm not sure whether to write down every word he says or lock 
him in a closet forever. 


Test Log 14 (7/10/20 , 10:45 AM) 

Input: Five instances of SCP-2558-J ("Sprinkles", "Marshmallow", 
"Mr. Tubbs", "Sparky", and "Lord Fluffykins") 

Output: Indistinguishable from input except that they mew in 
Japanese. 

Note: | don't even know how that's possible. 


Test Log 15 (7/10/20 , 11:50 AM) 

Input: Five instances of SCP-2558-J ("Sprinkles", "Marshmallow", 
"Mr. Tubbs", "Sparky", and "Lord Fluffykins") 

Output: Tiny, adorable [DATA EXPUNGED] oh my God, | have 
never seen anything so precious in my life [DATA EXPUNGED] 
who's a sweetie little tubbby-wubs, yes you are! [DATA EXPUNGED] 
Note: | was lucky to escape with my life and faculties intact. Mini- 

C was not so lucky. He will be missed. 


Test Log 16 (7/11/20 , 9:00 AM) 

Input: SCP-173 

Output: Tiny concrete statue, closely resembling input in vague 
outline. Paint colors also similar, but arranged such that Mini-173 
appears to be wearing makeup. Object is also, inexplicably, wearing 
glow-sticks and a tall striped top hat. 

Note: Accidentally blinked. Mini-173 tried to strangle my penis. | 
quit. 


Footnotes 

1. There is no record of any Overseer contacting Dr. L 

2. Site 421 does not now, and never has existed. 

3. No such promotion has been found anywhere in the Foundations 


records. 

4. This section appears to have been altered to illegibility on 
purpose. 

5. While true, no reliable methods have been proposed. 

6. These dates correspond to a listed vacation in the Dr.'s schedule. 
There is no record of anyone authorizing said vacation. 

7. lf this information is correct, we are at great risk of containment 
breach, all over the place. These miniatures apparently share 
memories with the originals, allowing them to know the codes we 
use, and to know what we would do should we decide to change 
them. Recapture of any and all Miniatures is of utmost importance, 
before they get someone competent to work with them. Thank god it 
was only Dr.L 8 

8. We're in yer Foundation, cloning yer dudes. 


SCP-4055-J: Ugly Dog 


Item #: SCP-4055-J 
Object Class: Keter 


Special Containment Procedures: Due to the relatively recent 
discovery and widespread habitat of SCP-4055-u, full containment is 
not possible at this time. Domestication attempts are to continue as 
a Septem-level priority to the Foundation. 


Description: SCP-4055-J is an extremely hostile breed of dog. Its 
diet consists of garbage and it has a hairless, prehensile tail. 
SCP-4055-J instances regard humans with extreme contempt and 
will violently resist all attempts of domestication. 


When given basic commands of "sit" and "fetch", SCP-4055-J 
instances will either feign death or attack their master. One 
specimen, upon hearing the phrase "who's a good boy," proceeded 
to violently defecate on the floor while foaming at the mouth. 


It is believed that a black market ring of dog breeders in association 
with the Serpent's Hand created SCP-4055-J through the 
hybridization of a chihuahua and an unknown canid/mollusk entity. ! 
The motive for this breed's generation is currently unknown, but is 
speculated to involve the discouragement of pet ownership as a 
form of slavery. 


Addendum - Experiment log 59-C: 
Dr. Henderson: Please approach the specimen. 
(D-41924 approaches) 
(SCP-4055-J-3458 feigns death) 


Dr. Henderson: Please give the specimen a belly rub. 


D-41924: You sure that's a dog? It looks like a— 
Dr. Henderson: Do not question. 
D-41924: All right. Can | have some gloves? 


Dr. Henderson: Dogs prefer the personal touch of a 
human hand. You will now do as you have been told, or 
face termination. 


D-41924: Okay, | guess. 


(D-41924 gives SCP-4055-J-3458 a belly rub. 
SCP-4055-J-3458 hisses and proceeds to shred 
D-41824's hand. Test concluded) 


Footnotes 
1. Itis possible these are the same parties responsible for 
breedingSCP-2008-J. 


SCP-2041-J: Tankapult 


Item #: SCP-2041 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2041 should never be 
allowed to be handled by anyone with military ties or who otherwise 
has means to acquire tanks. 


Description: SCP-2041 is what appears to be a standard rotary 
platform used to maneuver tanks while measuring infrared radiation. 
In reality it is a high-powered catapult capable of launching tanks 
long distances. This serves no practical military application, as any 
tank launched in this manner is critically damaged upon impact. 
SCP-2041 has also exhibits a psychological effect on anyone who 
comes in contact with it or learns of its nature. Those affected exhibit 
an unwillingness to destroy it, citing "how cool it is." In addition to 
being unwilling to destroy SCP-2041 subjects are prone to an 
obsessive desire to use it. Fortunately, subjects are only willing to 
use tanks and will deride any suggestion of alternative ammunition. 
When the subject has any sort of combat field experience, they will 
list off theoretical applications that range from the almost practical to 
outright ludicrous. 


Addendum: Any requisition form involving tanks sent from Site 
are to be immediately denied. Transport of any tracked vehicle to 
Site without permission from an O5 will result in immediate 
punishment. 


See Document 2041-J for more information. 


Document 2041-J 


Requisition Forms for Site 


Date - -20 

Researcher: Dr. 

Object: x1 (one) M1 Abrams Main Battle Tank, x1 (one) D-Class 
personnel 

Reason for Requisition: Required for testing of SCP 2041-J 
Status: Accepted 

Reason for Rejection: n/a 


Date - -20 

Researcher: Dr. 

Object: x3 (three) M1 Abrams Main Battle Tank(s), x3 (three) D- 
Class personnel, x30 (thirty) goose down pillow(s) 

Reason for Requisition: Additional testing of SCP 2041-J 
Status: Accepted 

Reason for Rejection: n/a 


Date - -20 

Researcher: Dr. 

Object: x5 (five) M1 Abrams Main Battle Tank(s), x5 (five) D-Class 
personnel, x100 (one hundred) goose down pillow(s) 

Reason for Requisition: Additional testing of SCP 2041-J 

Status: Denied 

Reason for Rejection: Additional testing is unnecessary. Thanks to 
previous tests, the properties of SCP-2041-J are now well- 
documented: tanks fired by SCP-2041-J are damaged upon impact, 
as are the subjects inside. It has been calculated that no amount of 
protection can prevent the inevitable injury. O5- 


Date - -20 

Researcher: Dr. 

Object: x5 (five) M1 Abrams Main Battle Tank(s), x5 (five) D-Class 
personnel, x100 (one hundred) goose down pillow(s), x30 (thirty) 


airbag(s), x20 (twenty) parachutes 

Reason for Requisition: Additional testing of SCP 2041-J 

Status: Denied 

Reason for Rejection: Once again, nothing further is to be proved 
by launching D-Class personnel with SCP 2041-J. O5- 


Date - -20 

Researcher: Dr. 

Object: x12 (twelve) M1 Abrams Main Battle Tank(s), x5 (five) D- 
Class personnel, 50 (fifty) kg C-4 Explosives. 

Reason for Requisition: Additional testing of SCP 2041-J 
Status: Denied 

Reason for Rejection: Ordinary artillery can propel explosives far 
further than SCP-2041-J's range, and is far less expensive to arm. 
Additionally, the waste of D-Class personnel is highly 
unprofessional, and serves no point whatsoever. O5- 


NOTE: After Dr. 's recent escapade with SCP-2041-J and 
Army Base, it is suspected that SCP-2041-J has some sort of 
memetic property. Until this can be cleared up, all further testing of 
SCP-2041-J is banned until further notice. All proposals for tanked 
vehicles to Site are to be sent directly to me in the meantime. O5- 


Testing SCP-2041-J for memetic properties 


Date - -20 

Researcher: Dr. Sorts and team 

Object: x4 (four) M1 Abrams Main Battle Tank(s), x4 (four) M54 
Cargo Trucks, x2 (two) 500lb Mark 82 bombs. X1 (one) EMDS 
(Experimental Mass Delivery System) 

Test Status: Accepted by order of O5- 


Summary: First, our team launched one of each type of ordnance 
via the EMDS that the engineers over at Site- cooked up. It's 
basically a big but perfectly ordinary trebuchet. We recorded 
reactions on the three launches, both from the operators and 
audience. Although the bomb made the biggest blast and the truck 
was far more damaged by its impact, the tank had the most 
aesthetically appealing arc and impact and drew the most applause. 


source of danger and proceed to attack it by attempting to slice it 
with their wings. The wings of SCP-553 members have an average 
thickness of 5 mm where they attach to the body, and taper rapidly 
to any average thickness of 0.05 mm with sharp, beveled edges. In 
testing, individual lacerations as deep as 1 cm have been measured. 
However, deeper lacerations usually result in some portion of the 
wing structure breaking off in the inflicted wound. These fragments 
typically continue to fracture in the wound due to mechanical 
stresses. The circulatory fluid of SCP-553 reacts with most carbon- 
based tissues in a necrotizing fashion, resulting in significant post- 
traumatic infections. 


Incident 553-04-Gamma: On 05/21/20 , 21 instances of SCP-553 
escaped their containment chamber due to an improperly sealed 
access door. They reacted to recapture attempts as an attack and 
retaliated. SCP-553 displayed a high degree of pattern recognition 
and target analysis and quickly focused their attacks on the 
exposed, fleshy parts of the containment personnel, particularly the 
throat and face. The 9 immediate fatalities received, on average, 10 
wounds greater than 1 cm. It is currently hypothesized that these 
were caused by multiple slashes on the same wound site. The 
secondary necrotic infections caused by SCP-553 wounds resulted 
in a further 8 deaths. 12 instances were successfully recaptured and 
returned to containment and the remaining dead instances were 
retained for autopsy, structural analysis, and chemical analysis of 
their circulatory fluid. 


Footnotes 

1. Unlike known lepidopterae, SCP-553 does not possess a pupal 
stage. 

2. Adults have never been observed to "feed" from stalactites. It is 
hypothesized that this is an adaptation to preserve food stock for the 
larval stage. 


« SCP-552 | SCP-553 | SCP-554 » 


Second, we launched one of each type of object with SCP-204 1-u. 
Let me tell you, the damn thing is hardly good for launching anything 
but tanks. We almost had an accident trying to get the bomb into a 
harness that 2041-J could launch. As before, while the bomb made 
the biggest crater and the truck fell apart the most, it was the tank 
that received the biggest reaction from the crowd. 


Phase three, we loaded a truck into each delivery system. 
Researcher sat at the controls of the EMDS and | sat at the 
controls of SCP-2041-J. Each of us reported an elevated heart rate 
and general sense of excitement, but the purpose of this part of the 
test was to see who could resist launching the truck for the longest 
period of time. After fifteen minutes our assembled audience (who 
were supposed to be helping with the test, not chanting rude 
comments about the size of my payload) started getting impatient 
and restless. Researcher and | fired our trucks on the count of 
three to hearty applause before moving on to phase four. 


Phase four, we loaded the last tanks into each delivery system. 
Researcher sat at the controls of SCP-2041-J for this test while 
| manned the EMDS. Researcher and | both reported the same 
feeling of excitement and elevated heart rate. After ten minutes we 
concluded the test by firing off the last tanks to thunderous 
applause. -Dr. Sorts. 


Conclusion: SCP-2041-J does not display any paranormal memetic 
properties. Flinging giant armored vehicles through the air to their 
ultimate doom is merely a lot of fun and the Foundation is almost 
entirely staffed by psychopaths. [data marked to be expunged] 


Date - -20 

Researcher: Researcher 

Object: X1 (one) Pontiac Sunfire 

Test Status: Accepted by order of O5- 


Notes: This test was conducted immediately after the previous tank 
launching and the car's impact drew the biggest cheer of the day 
from the assembled crowd, supporting Dr. Sorts' conclusion. - 
Researcher 


Date - -20 


Researcher: Dr. Sorts 

Object: X1 (one) Mercedes-Benz SLS AMG or X11 (one) Pontiac 
Sunfire 

Reason for Requisition: That was my car you motherfuckers! -Dr. 
Sorts. 

Status: Denied by order of O5- 


SCP-10101: Not A Self-Insert At All 


Item #: SCP-10101 
Object Class: Awesome 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-10101 is to be given a 
luxury residence with at least 120 rooms, fifteen (15) bedrooms and 
ten (10) jacuzzis inside, and a personal butler or two. All requests 
made by SCP-10101 are to be fulfilled immediately, no matter what 
the cost. So far, SCP-10101 has requested: 


¢ Collected works of his favorite author, Terry Pratchett, 
hardbound in only the finest skin from endangered species of 
animals (approved) 

* At least five (5) nubile women every evening, for sexual 
purposes (approved) 

¢ Expensive food of the finest quality, including: fugu, caviar, 
SCP-__, and others (approved)