“Well, you didn’t hear anything that | wouldn't have let you know 
about eventually.” 


“Wait, you were going to tell me about that stuff?” 


“Not for another few months, but yes. You’ve been my assistant for 
a year and a half now, Seth. | trust you a great deal. | figured | would 
give you the clearance for this stuff eventually.” 


“So, does this mean I’m getting an actual security clearance?” 


“Now, don’t get ahead of yourself just yet. I’m still going to hold off 
on telling you any classified details for now. But | can tell you that 
there’s no need to worry about any of it at the moment. Earlier on 
the phone; that was just the chairman being overly cautious about 
something that hasn’t been an issue for years.” 


“And that thing about reality bending?" 

“Once again, it hasn’t been a problem for years.” 
A red light appeared on Conrad’s desk. 

Seth stared at the crimson signal. 

“Um, Mr. Brindis...” 


“Yeah, | see it.” Conrad sighed. “You know, today is just not my 
day.” 


“Doesn't that light mean...” 


“It means that there is, apparently, a problem that shouldn't be 
happening. But since it is, you and | have to deal with.” 


“| thought | didn't...” 


“You do now. Effective immediately, I’m giving you Level C secure 
access.” 


“ ” 


“| need to make a call, and then we're going to deploy a team where 
we got the alarm from. After that, both of us are going down there. | 
want your help with this.” 


Conrad picked up the phone on his desk, and dialed in a number. 


“This is Commissioner Conrad Brindis. | need you to send me down 
to my office.” 


My followers planned out 

The entire operation 

To retrieve me, 

There’s no doubt, however, that it would have been 
Advantageous to think further ahead 

In their preparation 

To deal with the fallout. 


The Foundation would not take lightly 
Such an attack, and the theft of what 
They thought they had a right to hold. 
Soon negotiations got old, 

And when they refused to accept 

A proposal to defuse the situation, 

It was clear that an escalation 

Was imminent. 


Their ultimatum was clear for them to hear, 
But my followers, my fellow toasters, 
Would never back down. 

My followers would not release me, 

And the Foundation of my incarceration 
Would not let me continue to be free. 


If only they had known 

What horrors had been released 

By taking what the Foundation owned. 
Even when the battle ceased, 

And their enemy lay fallen, 

A new day of chaos, 

Was upon my followers. 


Ralph was not tired. He had stayed up all night in his kitchen, but his 
head was spinning too much for him to even think about exhaustion. 
He paid little attention to the window as the sun began to rise, and 
even less to his alarm clock when it began to ring. All he could think 
about right now was trying to understand what he was doing. 


None of this makes any sense! Am | just going crazy? 


He checked his kitchen counter again, but he still found no evidence 
of any of the slices. 


The question of what exactly he was supposed to do hung over his 
mind. Around it was a mix of emotions from confusion, to concern, to 
frustration. 


And then Ralph decided what he was going to do. 
I’m never going to eat another damned piece of toast ever again. 


It was only at this point that he decided to check the time. When he 
looked at his clock, he saw that he was over an hour late for work. 


Ralph cursed out loud, and rushed back into his room, not noticing 
the knock at his door. As fast as he could, he changed his clothes, 
went back to his kitchen to grab a pop tart, and then rushed to his 
door, not hearing anyone outside. As he slammed the door open, he 
felt himself collide with something. 


Ralph heard a surprised yelp, a thump of something hitting the floor, 
and a muffled crack. A moment later, he saw the police officer lying 
on the ground. 


“Holy shit!” he said as he rushed to the officer, “Sir? Officer? Are 


” 


you... 


The officer pushed Ralph away with one arm. “Get the hell away 
from me!” he exclaimed, “What’s wrong with you? Ram the door into 
a police officer after he tells you to come out of the room? Are you 
stupid? Well?” 


“Tells you to... what?” Ralph said, puzzled, “I didn’t hear you. I’m 
sorry, | was in a rush, and I’m late for work right now...” 


“| could throw your ass in jail right now for assaulting me," the officer 
replied angrily. He pulled his right arm out from under him, revealing 
it to be twisted painfully. “Ah! Damn it!” 


Ralph got back up. “OK, uh, | can go get help,” he suggested, “I’m 
so sorry about this sir, | honestly didn’t hear you; | wish | had been 
paying attention. Don’t worry, I'll be right back!” 


With great haste, Ralph ran back into his apartment, and grabbed 
the telephone. He rushed to punch in an emergency number, and 
held the phone to his ear. 


There was no dial tone. 

Confused, he tried again to call for help, but got the same result. He 
hung up the phone and rushed back to the door, hoping to ask a 
neighbor for assistance. 


When he got to the door, there were now several officers standing in 
front of him. The one he had knocked down earlier stood at the front, 
holding a taser in his right hand. 


“What... how are you holding...” was all Ralph could say before he 
heard a pop, a buzzing sound, and felt his muscles spasm. 

Seth sat in the back of Conrad's car as they were driven towards the 
area where the alarm originated. 

“So, there used to be an organization that dealt with these guys?” 


“More than just reality benders, Seth. The Foundation held all sorts 


of things. Statues that move when you aren’t looking, plays that 
drive the actors and audience to insanity, giant amalgamations of 
clockwork; they kept all kinds of things.” 


“But how did they get out?” 


Conrad was silent for a few moments. “Do you remember learning 
about the Great Rebellion in school?” 


“Of course | did, Mr. Brindis. That was when the CIT rose to power. | 
didn’t just learn it in school; | had to take a test on it when | applied 
to get a job here.” 


“Ok, but do you know what we were fighting against?” 


“It was drilled into my head, sir. We overthrew the oppressive old 
world structure and...” 


“Seth, have you ever considered the fact that maybe that wasn’t the 
whole truth?” 


“ ” 


“That old government wasn't just some evil villain from a children’s 
story. They stayed in power all that time because they kept the world 
safe. They kept the things that could have destroyed the planet 
several times over in check.” Conrad looked out the window and 
frowned. “They were the ones who made sure that people who bent 
the world with their minds, stayed locked away.” 


Seth was silent for a moment, but then spoke up. “Are you saying 
that the organization we overthrew was the Foundation?” 


Conrad sighed, and said nothing. 


“Boss, why would we do something that stupid? You're telling me 

that this organization held things that could have killed millions, and 
that they kept them from hurting anyone. But then we just went and 
got rid off them? Why the hell would we do something that stupid?” 


“Seth, they weren’t a good organization...” 


“I’m not saying that they were! I’m saying that it sounds like we didn’t 
have any backup plan to deal with all of this stuff, because | don’t 
know how else a guy like this is still out there.” 


“Seth, we had reasons...” 


“We better have some pretty damn good reasons. If it wasn’t for us 
making such a dumbass decision, we wouldn't be dealing with this 
situation right now.” 


“If we hadn’t made that decision? That’s a null point.” 


Seth was silent for a few moments. “I’m sorry, I’m just really nervous 
about this.” 


“So am I, Seth.” 

Now both of them were silent. 

“...Mr. Brindis?” 

“Yes?” 

“What exactly was the reason that we did that?” 


Conrad held up the toaster in his lap. “I am. 


“You already told me about me. | get it, me being a toaster that you 
can only refer to in the first person, it’s weird. | don’t see why that 
was enough for us to do something that risky.” 


“That’s not my only effect.” 
“Well, what else is there?” 


Conrad sighed. “I’m going to tell you what my other effect is. And 
when we get down to the site, I’m going to prove to you that we 
made the right choice. But you have to be willing to listen, OK?” 


“O K” 


The truth can be the most bizarre statement, 


2/26: Updates suggest individual plans to assassinate 
Dr. . Researcher has been placed in protective 
custody. 

AH/423: Solid black. 

BW/10,841: Suspected to be , a known member of 
the Chaos Insurgency. 

EF/15: [REDACTED] 

EF/16: [REDACTED] 

AER/50,502: Updates display subsequent lines from 
Chuck McKenzie's Predatory Instincts. 

CDE/55: Consistently blank. 

DYZ/1: Suspected to be Mark Begich, Alaskan U.S. 
Senator. 

EPS/50,028: Consistently displays data pertaining to 
abortion. 

EZA/75,081: Individual believed to be schizophrenic. 
FLD/3,205: [DATA EXPUNGED] 

FZT/60,670: Suspected to be an uncontained SCP. 
GAR/9,462: Consistently displays "fullaccessrequired". 
HAR/9,461: Consistently displays "fullaccessrequired”. 
HKR/682: Symbols displayed do not correlate to any 
known on earth; suspected [REDACTED]. 

101/4,959: Updates display the names of different Greek 
Mythological heroes. 

MOS/1,325: Consistently displays "404: Individual not 
found". 

MOS/1,326: Consistently displays "909: Individual out of 
range". 

PYK/8,888: Suspected to be serial killer [DATA 
EXPUNGED], whose death sentence was carried out in 
19. 

OX0O/24: Suspected to be , however, updates 
suggest individual is a pedophile. 

QUU/78,002: Suspected to be SCP- 

RKL/72,727: Suspected to be the Canadian Prime 
Minister. 

RZJ/202: Updates display thinly veiled threats toward 
the Foundation and Foundation personnel. 

TTC/50: Suspected corrupt cell; updates demonstrate 
self-awareness, yet are often nonsensical or 


So incomprehensible 

As to drive men insane. 

The abatement of truth, however, 
Was never proclaimed to be just. 


That is what my followers 
Aimed to accomplish: 

To admonish those who hid 
What must be known, 

Even if only by a few. 

My truth must be heard, 
And for all who have stirred 
To release it, 

It will be spelled out plainly. 


| told them that they were toasters. 
| don’t boast this fact as being 

Any more complex 

Then each and every next sunrise. 
But such a simple thing, 

When truly understood, 

Can bring with it madness 

To the weak and strong, 

The evil and good. 


And so when the Foundation failed, 
And the last nail placed in their coffin, 
All that remained was to capture 

The strange things which had escaped. 


For this, | was of use. 

For when one who bends reality to their will 
Is struck still by the thought, 

That they are, in fact, a toaster, 

This is as certain as the stars. 

What they believe, manifests. 


Ralph had been sitting in his kitchen, with his legs tied to a chair, 
sitting in front of the table, for what felt like hours. For most of that 
time, he listened to the muffled voices outside, trying to understand 


what they were saying. He caught none of it, and was left only with 
his thoughts, which were in a similarly incomprehensible state. 


Much to his relief, the door eventually opened, and two men walked 
in. His relief vanished, however, when he saw one of them carrying 
a toaster and a loaf of bread. 


While one of the men simply stood next to the table, the other took 
his time placing the bread and toaster on the table in front of him. 
Then, still moving slowly, he grabbed a chair and sat across from 
Ralph. 


“So,” he began, “How are you doing right now?” 


Ralph decided that a scowl would best convey his current state of 
mind. 


“I'll take as ‘angry’ then,” the man went on, “Well, | guess that makes 
sense. We did kinda tie you up and lock you in your house. Heh- 
heh...” 

Ralph was profoundly unamused by the attempt at humor. 


“Ahem, right,” he continued, “So, could you just state your name?” 


“Why the hell are you sick assholes keeping me here?” Ralph 
replied bluntly. 


The man said nervously, “Um, well...” 


“Is it for assaulting that police officer?” Ralph fumed, “His arm was 
fine. | saw him holding his taser in it right before he stunned me.” 


The man was taken aback for a moment. “Well, you see...” 

“Seth, let me handle this,” the other man cut in. 

Seth got up from the chair, and let the other man sit down. He took a 
slice of the bread, put in the toaster, and said, “Could you get for 


me?” 


“Yes, Mr. Brindis.” Seth said, and then he walked away. 


Mr. Brindis began speaking. “It’s rather... interesting, what that 
officer told us. He said that right after you said, ‘I wish | had been 
paying attention’ and ran back into this apartment, his arm healed 
itself.” 


“Well,” Ralph sputtered, “He must be crazy then. That’s not...” 


“You saw what happened, and he felt what happened.” Seth handed 
Mr. Brindis a plate and he continued, “Cut the crap and tell me your 
name.” 


| can’t do anything like that. | made some toast disappear, sure, but 
this? | don’t see how that’s possible. He must have been faking his 
broken arm, or maybe... 


“Ahem,” Mr. Brindis said, interrupting his thoughts, “Your name?” 
“...Ralph Crudam.” 


“Thank you,” he said, though it may have been Seth, who now stood 
next to the table. “Now, Mr. Crudam, do you believe that you could 
perform such a feat like what | have described?” 


Ralph decided to play along. “I’m not sure.” 


“I think you can,” Mr. Brindis said bluntly, “And it would probably be 
best if you would be honest with us.” 


The slice popped out of the toaster, golden brown. Mr. Brindis 
picked up the slice, placed it on the plate, and slid it across the 
table. “Hungry?” he asked. 


Ralph stared at the piece for a moment, and then looked back up at 
the two men. He could not tell if they were kidding or not. 


“Mr. Crudam?” Seth said, “Are you OK?” 


Screw it, | don’t care. I’m not eating this thing. | wish that piece of 
toast wasn't there. 


In the blink of an eye, the toast was gone. 


Seth backed away form the table, breathing heavily, with a vague 
look of terror on his face. The other man, however, barely flinched. 


“If you guys expected me to eat that,” Ralph explained, “You’re 
nuts.” 


“So it’s true then,” the man sighed, “You can do this sort of thing.” 


“Yeah, so what?” Ralph continued, “| make toast disappear with my 
mind. There, | said it. Are you happy?” 


The man looked at Seth, and calmly said, “Yes, | am. Alright Seth, 
you've seen enough of this. Let’s head out.” 


“Yes, Mr. Brindis,” Seth replied, and they both started towards the 
door. 


“Hey, wait,” Ralph said loudly, “You can’t just leave me here tied up!” 


Neither of the men paid any attention to him as they hurried out, and 
slammed the door. Now Ralph was left alone with his thoughts. 


His thoughts at this point were a complete mess. Every bit of 
information from the past day was jumbled around with lingering 
questions. He still didn’t know how he had made the toast vanish. 
He couldn't figure out why the police had come to his house, or why 
they had tied him up. 


And then there was the question of the officer's arm. 


It was the same way with the toast. | tried to rationalize it. But it 
turned out that I'd actually done something that should’ve been 
impossible. 


His stream of consciousness ran forward to one inevitable 
conclusion. 


| do not know what I’m capable of. 


In turn, he realized what he needed to do. He needed to figure out 
the full extent of his abilities. 


Well, | guess | need to figure it out then. | should start by trying to 
get out of here. 


Conrad and Seth walked out of the restaurant near the apartment. 
“You doing alright Seth?” 

“Yeah, | guess.” 

“Alright. You’ve just seemed kinda tense since yesterday.”