E-2: Forget it. It's not relevant. 


E-5: No, | think it is relevant. Nanjing and 
Leningrad are in simi- 


E-1: Cease this line of questioning, 5. 
E-5: Fine. 


E-4: You know 5's the possibly only person 
with more pronounced humanitarian 
tendencies than I, but here's the other angle - 
by all rights, this was a Soviet site, and we 
stole it from them in the chaos of the 
Revolution. They learn about this, we're 
looking at a major diplomatic incident. There 
will be hell to pay if they learn we held this 
from them, when they needed it most. 


E-1: ChD AKN is an arm of the Soviet Union, 
who are a mundane state. Aiding the ChD 
AKN is tantamount to aiding the Soviets. I'm 
with 3, this is not our affair. 


E-4: Are we not even considering the 
humanitarian component? Numbers don't look 
good - that phone call didn't sound good 
either. I'm willing to wager the Nazis are 
starving them out intentionally, them being as 
they are. We're just going to sit back and 
destroy safe food supplies while half the city 
starves? 


E-3: This isn't our affair. We aren't the world 


policeman. We're just here to separate what is 
anomalous from what is not. 


E-1: Voting deadline is today. We need to vote 
now. Aye to release SCP-3554 to the ChD 
AKN and Leningrad - Nay to maintain the 
status quo. 


E-1: Nay. It is not our place to intervene. 


E-2: Aye. The Soviets, the world would not 
forgive us for condemning Leningrad. 


E-3: Nay. We are duty-bound to conceal 
anomalies from the mundane world. The 
moment we stop doing that, we stop being the 
Foundation. 


E-4: Aye. We're looking at hundreds of 
thousands of innocent civilians. | am willing to 
compromise a little secrecy for a little 
humanity. 


E-5: Se RuwAS REA. 4 Nay. 


E-1: With two votes for and three votes 
against, the motion fails. The status quo in 
Leningrad? will be maintained. 


Footnotes 

1. Anglicized: Sodruzhestvo 

2. Renamed to GRU "P" Division in 1942. 

3. In 1937, Nanjing was invaded by the Japanese in the Second 
Sino-Japanese war. In Ethics Committee decision #556, the 
Foundation declined to use anomalies to aid the Nationalist 
Chinese, in neither defense nor evacuation. As a result, Nanjing was 
subject to looting and other war crimes, with at least 200,000 in 
noncombatant losses. 

4. And Nanjing will never forgive us, either. 

5. As a result of Ethics Committee decision #784, SCP-3554 
remained in Foundation control and Leningrad lost approximately 


700,000 noncombatants due to starvation and exposure. 


marinara-Stuffed crust. 


SCP-182 Medium, olives, mushrooms, 
pretzel dough crust. 

SCP-3300-1 Large, Extra cheese and 
pepperoni, wet when removed 
from box 


Further testing on SCPs may reveal some odd 
characteristics about the SCP's themselves, and is 
suggested. 

- Dr. Kreign 


Update: 

Further cross-testing is permitted but requires approval 
and supervision due to safety concerns. 

- Dr. 


Footnotes 

1. Almost immediately after opening SCP-458, the produced pizza 
began to go through symptoms similar to other organic material 
within SCP-073's effect radius. Experiment was retried, with the 
pizza being removed from SCP-458 immediately after its opening, 
with minor deterioration present. When queried by researchers, 
SCP-073 stated it had never ingested products created by SCP-458. 
2. SCP-181 was told that this was a reward for good behavior, and 
that it was a lucky guess that it was his favorite type of pizza. 


« SCP-457 | SCP-458 | SCP-459 » 


SCP-3555: Attempted Suicide 


Section of SCP-3555. Click to enlarge. 


Item #: SCP-3555 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3555 is to be contained in 
a purpose-built containment unit with interior dimensions of 
approximately 2 meters by 2 meters by 20 meters, currently under 
construction. Its exterior is to be disguised as a collapsed cliff 
following a major landslide, blocking access to part of Drakes 
Beach; a new access path is currently under construction in 
cooperation with the National Parks Service. Public access to the 
beach is closed until this work is completed; this closure is attributed 
to instability in the main access road. Once complete, the "landslide" 
will be documented by NPS photographers and a plaque describing 
the splitting of the beach will be installed in the Kenneth C. Patrick 
Visitor's Center. 


Current tidal and erosion estimates show that the freshly installed 
slope will remain sufficient to disguise the containment structure for 
approximately 75 years. This timescale is to be refined bi-annually 
based on updated estimates of global sea level rise rates and local 
hydrographic data. Existing National Seashore protections against 
development and construction should be sufficient to avoid non- 
erosive exposure of the containment structure. 


A protective framework with calibrated measurement markings has 
been constructed around the perimeter of SCP-3555-A to allow 
proper alignment of test subjects and to avoid accidental personnel 
exposure. Personnel are to avoid removal of the protective panels 
mounted on this framework except when necessary. 


Description: SCP-3555 is or was , a human individual 
approximately 27 years of age previously living in San Francisco. 


SCP-3555 went missing on December 30, 2016, with his roommate 


reporting that said he was going to "go take a drive to the 
beach" with no further information, and that had reported 
suicidal ideation two days beforehand. The roommate called police 
when did not return by 11:00 PM. 

Search efforts were hindered by the fact that left cellular 
coverage upon entering Samuel P. Taylor State Park, and a full 
search of western Marin County took place. 's vehicle was 


located on Sir Francis Drake Boulevard at 3:00 AM on December 
31; SCP-3555 was located by NPS rangers on January 3, after a 
postponement due to bad weather. 


SCP-3555 remains human in topological layout, but has been 
distorted, such that while its absolute height remains consistent with 

's medical records, it is approximately 8 meters in length, 
skewed northeast-southwest, approximately parallel with the beach. 
SCP-3555 is approximately 40 centimeters in circumference at its 
widest point. Photographs corrected for this distortion show 
SCP-3555, apparently normal and alert, with an expression 
personnel have characterized as "relieved." 


SCP-3555 is resistant to normal hand sampling techniques. Though 
its clothing (distorted in the same manner as the rest of the object) 
possesses qualities corresponding to a heavily distorted textile 
weave, the underlying aspect shows markedly higher resilience than 
would be expected; a researcher was able to make a shallow 
scalpel cut with some effort, but was unable to retrieve any material, 
and no bleeding or other biological response was noted. 


The cut has not, as of this writing, been affected by any healing 
process. When combined with the lack of any movement of the 
object (aside from minor wind-induced clothing motion), researchers 
have concluded that SCP-3555 is no longer "alive" in any 
conventional sense; however, a conclusion has not yet been 
reached as to whether the object is dead. 


Additionally, an as-of-yet poorly characterized phenomenon extends 
a further five meters in the line of SCP-3555's distortion, forming a 
slanted cone. If corrected for distortion, it would form a vertical 45- 
degree cone extending from the top of SCP-3555's head. This 


phenomenon is designated SCP-3555-A. 


Humans and other animals with brains possessing a neocortex, or 
with cognitive processes similar to those of animals with a 
neocortex, are affected if the cone representing SCP-3555-A 
intersects their brain at any point. Tests with animals show an 
extensive variety of responses to induced intersection. Results were 
largely similar for certain orientations of the animal's brain in respect 
to SCP-3555-A; if the animal's brainstem intersects at any time, 
cessation of proper autonomous nervous function is immediate, with 
implanted EEG electrodes showing epileptiform activity in the 
affected region. 


If the brainstem does not intersect, the test specimen does not die 
immediately, but tends to exhibit abnormal behavior, with more 
debilitating behavior tending to occur both with deeper insertion and 
with a longer length of time spent inserted. Rats have been 
observed to: 


* pace endlessly in circles 

¢ form unusual obsessions with objects inside or outside their 

cages, or with specific research personnel 

constantly climb their cage walls and attempt to escape at any 

opportunity 

* cease all voluntary motive activity altogether, including eating 
and drinking 

* engage in self-destructive behavior, such as scratching, fur- 
pulling, or biting up to and including severing limbs or tail 

* attempt suicide using enrichment devices or by inserting their 
head in cage doors as researchers are closing them. 


Notably, these behaviors are consistent between specimens and 
tests when the orientation and insertion depth of the test subject's 
brain into SCP-3555-A is preserved. 


One human, a National Parks Service ranger named involved in 
the search effort, was exposed to SCP-3555-A, and was brought to 
Foundation attention when, after several days, he was placed ona 
72-hour psychiatric hold, suffering from a Cotard delusion among 
other symptoms. fMRI analysis showed unusual activity in a portion 
of '‘'s superior frontal gyrus approximately consistent with low-grade 


frontal lobe epilepsy; this encompassed an area consistent with 
SCP-3555-A penetration to a depth of approximately one 
centimeter. 


During treatment, insisted alternately that he was dead and that he 
should be dead, and was unable to distinguish between the two 
states when questioned. Notably, no unusual activity was exhibited 
in 's fusiform gyrus; extant cases of Cotard delusion are usually 
associated with disease or disorder of this area of the brain. 
Recovery was gradual over the course of two months, but complete. 


During interviews with Foundation therapists and psychiatrists, when 
asked about his life before entering the Parks Service, recalled at 
various points both attending the local community college in Marin 
County before transferring to the Ranger Academy at Santa Rosa 
Junior College, and attending University (SCP-3555's 
original alma mater) in before graduating with a Bachelor of 
Science in computer science, though he was unable to recall 
specific details of time spent at the latter institution. 


was unable to reconcile these memories, but they appear to have 
diminished along with his Cotard delusion; states that he can 
remember claiming he attended the university, but is unable to 
remember why he claimed this. 


SCP-3556: Durbal, The Rude Sticky Note 


Item #: SCP-3556 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3556 is currently 
contained in a containment locker in Site-77's Containment Vault. 
The item is to be placed within a sound-proof container in order to 
minimize distractions to nearby personnel. Access to the item is 
restricted to any personnel of Level 2 security clearance or higher. 
Personnel of Level 1 clearance or lower must receive written 
permission by Dr. Beck, head of SCP-3556 research, to handle 
SCP-3556. 


Description: SCP-3556 is a yellow adhesive note pad, measuring 
2.5 cm by 5 cm, depicting a crude drawing of an unknown creature 
with the word “Durbal” being written near the drawing. 


Placing SCP-3556 on any object will cause the drawing to animate 
and vocalize any flaws the anomaly perceives of the item it is placed 
upon. SCP-3556's criticisms will become increasingly illogical the 
longer it remains on an object, eventually going off topic and 
become tangentially unrelated to the item it was affixed to. 
SCP-3556 has only been recorded speaking English. It is theorized 
that SCP-3556 is sentient, though it has refused to cooperate during 
attempted interviews. 


Addendum-3556-1: Experiment Log 


The following are a series of transcripts recorded from 
experiments using SCP-3556. 


Foreword: Object was placed on a cracked 
mirror. 


<Begin Log> 


SCP-3556: Mirror is obviously cracked 
intentionally. 

If left untreated, may result in total mirror 
failure. 

Mirror is slightly smudged due to clumsy 
workers. 

Mirror is even more smudged by me. 

Mirror does not correctly reflect light as human 
eyes see it. 

Mirror is not a true mirror. 

Mirror absorbs a small amount of green light 
upon reflection. 

Mirror is a cheating mirror that steals people’s 
hard earned light and deserves to serve 30 
years in prison for stealing light. 

Mirror may also be given the death penalty in 
several jurisdictions, and frankly deserves it. 
Mirror is scum of the Earth... 


<End Log> 


Closing Statement: The unedited audio files 
all amount to approximately 33 days of audio. 
The remainder of this transcript was cut for the 
sake of brevity. SCP-3556 may be capable of 
following an infinite number of tangents in its 
rants. -Dr. Beck 


Foreword: Object was placed on a file 
containing multiple documents. All documents 
consisted of untrue facts. 


<Begin Log> 


SCP-3556: File is an inadequate way to store 
data, considering the rise of digital data. 

Data contained within file is false. 

First page states frogs are mammals. 

Frogs are amphibians. 

Amphibians are both fish and mammals. 
Frogs are indecisive in their place in the 


animal kingdom. 

Second page states computers emit sugary 
liquids. 

Computer technology is yet to reach the state 
of sugary liquid emission. 

Sugary liquids cause diabetes, heart disease, 
obesity... 


<End Log> 


Closing Statement: The remainder of this 
transcript was cut for the sake of brevity. It 
appears SCP-3556 is able to criticize the 
contents of media, not just the media itself. - 
Dr. Beck 


Foreword: D-8913 was instructed to hold 
SCP-3556. D-8913 had their left arm 
amputated at birth. 


<Begin Log> 


SCP-3556: D-8913 is missing an arm. 
D-8913’s arm was removed because she is 
genetically inferior to other human organisms. 
D-8913 lacks confidence. 

D-8913 swears too much. 

D-8913 wears terrible orange jumpsuits 
because she lacks confidence. 

D-8913 wears glasses because her eyes were 
screwed up by staring at a TV too much. 
D-8913 dyes her hair to forget about the fact 
their hair is ugly and boring. 

D-8913 hates legitimate criticism. 

D-8913 doesn’t know how she gets into terrible 
situations and chooses to blame those around 
her. 

D-8913 has a terrible relationship with her 
mother. 

D-8913 has committed murder and deserves 
to be here. 


D-8913 is a terrible singer and can’t take a hint 
that she is a terrible singer. 

D-8913 listens to Korean pop music, which is 
the worst kind of music. 

D-8913’s voice is literally incapable of 
sounding good in any circumstance. 

D-8913 has anger management problems. 
D-8913 hates pape- 


D-8913 placed SCP-3556 on a nearby wall 
and attempted to leave the testing chamber. 
D-8913 refused to comply with further testing 
orders. 


<End Log> 


Foreword: Dr. Beck was instructed to hold 
SCP-3556. 


<Begin Log> 


SCP-3556: Jim Cyrus Beck does not have 
children, and as such is an evolutionary failure. 
Jim Cyrus Beck does not want children 
because he doesn’t want to become like his 
father. 

Jim Cyrus Beck is also incapable of having 
children due to his erectile dysfunction. 

Jim Cyrus Beck does not realize he is already 
like his father. 

Jim Cyrus Beck drinks an entire beer once he 
gets home from work, like his father. 

Jim Cyrus Beck fails to please his significant 
other both sexually and romantically, like his 
father. 

Jim Cyrus Beck hates his job and regularly 
questions why he hasn't quit. 

Jim Cyrus Beck is allergic to bees.