Exploration Log SRV-3: Robotic probe SRV-3 equipped with 
camera and a variety of scientific instruments dispatched to study 
SCP-1960-J. Probe determined that SCP-1960-J is made primarily 
of basalt and provided close-up pictures of its surface, but 
encountered numerous interruptions to wireless data transmission 
and ultimately ceased operating. 


Exploration Log A1: While preparing for their mission, team A1's 
transport bursts into spontaneous flame, burning with unnatural 
speed and temperature. All three team members are lost. 
Foundation scientists conclude that SCP-1960-J may have a 
psychic and/or sentient component. SCP-1960-J upgraded to Keter. 
Subsequent missions feature fireproof materials and clothing. 


[DATA EXPUNGED] 


Exploration Log A11: Three Foundation personnel dispatched to 
make direct contact with SCP-1960-J. All three were equipped with 
heavy-duty full environmental suits in the hopes that they will be 
able to survive the life-draining effect of contacting it. remains in 
the transport to monitor the attempt and maintain wireless 
communications with the Foundation. and successfully 


touch SCP-1960-J and survive. Destructive analysis is authorized, 
and with difficulty team A11 returns with a small sample for study. 
Team A11 carefully attaches a rangefinding device to SCP-1960-J, 
designed to carefully monitor its precise distance from Foundation 
headquarters and determine whether an XK-class end-of-the-world 
scenario is a possibility. 


Exploration Log A12: Mission parameters very similar to A11, but 
an increased level of supplies allows for a longer mission. A12 is 
also tasked with investigating SRV-3, and ultimately returns with 
several components of the broken robot for later analysis. 


Exploration Log A13: While drawing close to SCP-1960-J, A13's 
transport was damaged by [DATA EXPUNGED]. The resulting 
explosion crippled the transport, leaving the crew unable to 
complete their mission. A13 was able to abort the mission and return 
to headquarters with no loss of life. 


[DATA EXPUNGED] 


Exploration Log A17: Mission team A17 was equipped with a 
purpose-built SCP-1960-J Roving Vehicle, allowing them to study 
SCP-1960-uJ's surface in great detail. Team A17 detonated several 
explosives on SCP-1960-J to study the practicality of destroying 
SCP-1960-J, but the resulting damage was minor. SCP-1960-J is 
considered essentially indestructible. 


[DATA EXPUNGED] 
Authorized Personnel Only: 


Display image of SCP-1960-J 


In light of [REDACTED], all future exploration missions to 
SCP-1960-J are suspended. No Foundation personnel 
are to make direct contact with SCP-1960-J under any 
circumstances. 

-O5- 


SCP-231-J: 0.453592 Kilograms of Flesh 


Item #: SCP-231-J 
Object Class: Neutralized Keter 


Special Containment Procedures: If there is any feasible way to 
contain or neutralize SCP-231-J, any proposals and ideas are 
welcome for submission to the O5 Council immediately. Generation 
of a successful containment protocol for SCP-231-J will result in the 
compensation of the responsible parties with Bonus Package 10- 
Elysium. 


Bonus Package 10-Elysium: 

* One Lamborghini Centenario LP 770-4, customized for 
interstellar travel 

* One Iron Maiden concept album dedicated to your 

life and accomplishments 

* One high-five from the Administrator, Dr. Alto Clef, and 
SCP-076-2 

* True Love 

* Complete diplomatic immunity in the United States of 
America, the United Kingdom, and one other country of 
your choice 

*« Summary executions of your enemies, carried out by 
MTF Omega-7.5 ("OK-Class Reunion Tour Scenario") 


Description: SCP-231-J is a hostile metamorphic entity that has 
generated from an unpaid loan of $2.00 given to Dr. Elena Jackson, 
the current Administrator of the Foundation, on April 26th, 1983. The 
loan was received from Pol-231-Omega, who was then one of Dr. 
Jackson's coworkers at Site-19, where Dr. Jackson had been the 
site director before her promotion. 


Incident 231-Alpha-993 


<Begin log> 


and_). All constants are measured on their respective dials in 
modern SI units, with the exception of the dimensionless lambda 
and theta. 


Except for the viewing window, SCP-536 is totally opaque to 
electromagnetic radiation and subatomic particles. No abnormal 
physical behavior has yet been observed outside the chamber 
during testing. 


Recovery Log: SCP-536 was recovered from the University of 
Physics department, where it was installed in the research 
laboratories of Prof. _ . After its identification as an SCP object, 
several agents were dispatched with a squad of Level-3 security 
personnel. 


Prior to recovery, Prof. | was either warned of Foundation actions 
or was able to recognize Foundation agents. Using a device Agent 

described as a [REDACTED], the Professor [DATA EXPUNGED]. 
He died in the resulting explosion. All references or records referring 
to SCP-536 had been destroyed before the arrival of any Foundation 
personnel. 


Detailed analysis of Prof. 's personal effects has revealed 
probable association with several anti-Foundation groups, including 
[DATA EXPUNGED]. As yet, it is unknown whether SCP-536 was 
manufactured by any of these groups, or if it has extraterrestrial, 
supernatural, or extratemporal origins. 


Testing Logs: 


Testing Log SCP-536- : 


0:30:34 Doctors and_ enter the SCP-536 testing 
room. 

0:30:50 Dr. enters into SCP-536. 

0:30:56 SCP-536 entryway closed and sealed. 
0:31:10 Dr. instructs Dr. to lower the gravitational 
constant by a factor of one half. Dr. | complies. 
0:31:15 - 0:31:58 Dr. jumps around the interior of 
SCP-536 under reduced gravity. 


Dr. Jackson: Wow, that giant spider really likes eating 
babies. Hey, Steve? 


[Pol-231-Omega]: Yo! 

Dr. Jackson: You got two dollars? 
[Pol-231-Omega]: Sure thing, Dr. Jackson. What for? 
Dr. Jackson: | need a Pepsi. 


[Pol-231-Omega]: Don't we have them for, like, one 
dollar in the cafeteria? 


Dr. Jackson: Yeah, but | want a big one. 

[SCP-231 is given to Dr. Jackson] 
[Pol-231-Omega]: When you gonna pay me back? 
[Dr. Jackson leaves] 

<End log> 


On September 26, 1983, in the aftermath of a major containment 
breach by SCP- _ that resulted in 23,401 fatalities (Known as 
Incident- -Black), the Administrator was confronted about the 
unpaid debt. 


Incident 231-Beta-993 
<Begin log> 
[Irrelevant data redacted] 


Dr. Jackson: ...That should take care of amnestic 
dispersal protocols for the civilians. Any questions? 
Yeah, Steve. 


[Pol-231-Omega]: Where's that money you owe me? 


Dr. Jackson: Not the time or place. Any other 
questions? 


[Pol-231-Omega]: Actually, | think you have a very poor 
understanding of how serious this situation is. 


Dr. Jackson: As do you, clearly - a quarter of a hundred 
thousand people's minds just exploded, and you're 
worrying about two dollars. 


[Pol-231-Omega]: Well, if you had done your homework, 
you'd notice that, in my application for employment at 
Site-19, | specifically included a 50-page addendum 
detailing any loans that | would disperse to my 
coworkers, regardless of value. This addendum, which 
you agreed to by accepting my application (Article 2, 
paragraph 34), explicitly states that the debt would need 
to be repaid in full no less than 72 hours from initial 
disbursement. Having failed to do so, you have incurred 
a Class-G Delinquency Penalty Rate (Article 5, 
paragraph 19) of $100 dollars per month, plus a $5,000 
first-time default fee and applicable Silver-level 
compound interest rates, as outlined in the monthly 
newsletter to which you subscribed by accepting my 
application (Article 5, paragraph 50). You currently owe 
me $493,026.34, plus tax. 


Dr. Jackson: Steve, what's this? 
[Pol-231-Omega]: What's what? 
Dr. Jackson: This thing in my hand. 


[Pol-231-Omega]: | don't see how that's relevant to the 
case at hand, but that's a combat-grade amnestic visual 
cognitohaz— 


[Pol-231-Omega falls unconscious] 


Dr. Jackson: The phrase "you're so fucking fired" comes 
to mind. 


<End log> 


On April 10th, 1990, following the death of the previous 


Administrator from food poisoning, Dr. Jackson was elected as his 
replacement in light of her heroism and leadership during Incident- 

-Black. Two days after her inauguration, contact with the 
Foundation was re-established by Pol-231-Omega, having 
recovered from his amnestic treatment through the usage of the 
highly esoteric and experimental technique known as "having written 
it down prior to the amnestics." At this point, through several 
loopholes carefully designed by Pol-231-Omega, SCP-231-J had 
increased in value to $50,936,299, 102.49 plus tax, with an additional 
debt of "500 human souls, two truckloads of diamonds, the blood of 
a virgin, and a goddamn pony." 


Following this contact, Pol-231-Omega was promptly located by 
MTF Psi-8 ("The Silencers"), issued several restraining orders, 
reprimanded, and stabbed to death’. Before his termination, 
Pol-231-Omega made an otherwise unintelligible mention of a 
"transfer to a third-party collections agency." Following this, 
SCP-231-J was temporarily reclassified as Neutralized. 


Addendum 1: On May 15th, 1995, Site-19 received a letter in an 
unmarked envelope. 


Scarlett & King Collections Agency 
7 N. Seal Drive 
Montauk, NY 11954 


Dear Dr. Jackson, 


Hello there! SO excited about getting to know you. See, 
we've been made aware of a tiny debt you've been 
keeping from our client, Dr. Steven. No biggie, we 
swear - we're a new, progressive startup, bringing a non- 
judgmental, people-focused approach to collections, so 
you don't have anything to worry about from us! 


So far, it looks like you owe him: 


¢ $[DATA EXPUNGED)].53, plus tax 

¢ 700 trillion human souls condemned eternally to the 
sadistic pleasure-pits of [DATA EXPUNGED] 

* Ownership of 53 individual timelines of the Multiverse 


¢ And one "goddamn pony" 


This shouldn't be a problem at all. With our customized 
payment plans, you'll only have to [DATA EXPUNGED] 


So be sure to get back to us as soon as you can - 
specifically, by June 1st! Otherwise, we might have to 
deal with the least favorite part of our jobs: penalties. 
Ugh! So unpleasant. 


Fortunately, these penalties are barely noticeable. They 
include, but are not limited to: 


¢ An indefinite lien on the mortality of SCP-682 

¢ Repossession of anomalous property, courtesy of 
fourth-party contractors such as the Chaos Insurgency 
¢ Transfer of negotiations to an onsite collections liaison 


So, we suggest you get right on this! Now. 
Eyes on the prize, 
Maisie Scarlett 


Addendum 2 - Collections Liaison: On June 1st, 1995, a raid ona 
demon-worshipping compound led to the discovery of the 
aforementioned "Collections Liaison" entity. For more information on 
this entity, please refer to the documentation for SCP-231. 


+ Instructions for Procedure 110-Montauk - 
5/231 CLEARANCE REQUIRED 


Procedure 110-Montauk: 


1. The six class-D personnel will enter 
SCP-231-7's containment chamber, holding a 
suitcase filled with $500,000.00 in cash. 


2. The six D-class personnel will throw the 
cash at SCP-231-7 in as disorganized and 
passive-aggressive of a manner as possible. 


+ Full, unedited text of unedited Addendum 231-b - 
5/231 CLEARANCE REQUIRED 


Dear Friends, 


It has come to my attention that recently, 
certain rumors have surfaced regarding 
SCP-231. Due to the drop in staff morale, | 
have decided to address some of the more 
prevalent points. 


¢ Yes, Procedure 110-Montauk is as horrible 
as you have heard, which is why only Class D 
Personnel are authorized to carry it out. Yes, it 
does involve brutal mishandling of crucial 
funding assets. 


* No, assignment to SCP-231 is not intended 
to test your loyalty to the Foundation, your 
tendencies towards throwing money at the 
problem, or anything else. 


* No, SCP-231 is not a punishment detail. 


¢ Yes, there are staff members who have been 
on SCP-231 and have successfully transferred 
out by their own request. No, not everyone 
who's worked on SCP-231 is terminated upon 
leaving the project. 


¢ No, you may not keep the cash she doesn't 
pick up. 


* Yes, staff members who have been assigned 
to SCP-231 are allowed to take a Class A 
Amnesiac before leaving the project if so 
desired. Yes, false memories are then 
implanted. No, none of the supposed methods 
for recovering or detecting false memories 
work. Yes, there are some of you who've 
worked on SCP-231 and don't remember it. 


* No, we have not given up trying to save up 
for a specific appeasement fund for 
SCP-231-7, but research in that field must be 
carried out with the utmost of caution. Based 
on the increased potency of each subsequent 
asset liquidation event associated with each 
subsequent "Collections Liaison" specimen, 
there is a strong possibility that SCP-231-7's 
repossession event could result in an XK class 
end-of-the-world scenario. This information is 
corroborated in notebooks recovered from the 
accountants (see document "Seven Brides, 
Seven Percent Compound Interest," SCP-231- 
Adjunct B). 


* No, filing for bankruptcy is NOT an option. 
Neither is drugging her and throwing post-it 
notes. She has to be aware of the individual 
value of each bill for 110-Montauk to work. 


* One final note: The Foundation does many 
frivolous things in the completion of our 
mission, but our mission is important enough 
that the debt is one we must pay. Containment 
of SCP-231 is one of our most dangerous 
duties, not because of any direct danger to 
ourselves (like SCP-682) but because of the 
danger that our credit score will fail even 
harder, that we will allow ourselves to either let 
down our guard due to lack of a reasonable 
budget, or that we will allow ourselves to 
become monsters through the performance of 
monstrous spending. Just do your jobs, and 
save the philosophizing for the payroll 
department. 


Sincerely, 
The Administrator 


GIVE ME MY MONEY YOU PUTRID BAGS OF BONES 
AND MEAT AND FECES, WHERE'S MY FUCKING 
MONEY, YOU'VE GOT EXACTLY WHAT | WANT, 


WHERE | CAN'T GET IT, I'LL EVEN ACCEPT 
TRAVELER'S CHECKS FOR FUCK'S SAKE 


+ Input 5/231-J Credentials - 
Does The Black Moon Howl? 


Item #: SCP-231-Omega-J 
Object Class: Apollyon 
Special Containment Procedures: "God help us all." 


Description: SCP-231-Omega-J is the Foundation's 
credit rating. 


Footnotes 
1. It should be noted that the means of termination had incidentally 
fulfilled the requirement of "the blood of a virgin". 


SCP-2100-J: Hard-Boiled Fedora 


Item #: SCP-2100-J 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2100-J is to be stored 
within a secure lock-box within the Site-L11 Level 2 cognito- 
hazardous items repository. All requests for testing of SCP-2100-J 
require approval from at least three (3) Level 3 or higher personnel. 


Description: SCP-2100-J is a brown Fedora-style hat produced by 
. The physical composition of SCP-2100-J does not differ in 
any way from that of other hats of the same model. Object is 
susceptible to physical harm and care should be taken to prevent its 
destruction during testing. SCP-2100-J incites a weak compulsive 
response in humans, causing subjects viewing the item to desire to 
wear it. This response is not incited in other species and has been 
shown to be possible to overcome given a small amount of effort.