SCP-1478-54: | somehow know what’s going on over at 
Site 23. | don’t see it, | don’t hear anything, | just kinda 
know. Like, some idiot broke the vending machine 
yesterday, right? The new Jackson kid. | know it’s true. 


Fredricks: Okay, got it. Final remarks? 


SCP-1478-54: This is probably a side effect of the 
connection thing, but | feel like the other cacti are, | don’t 
know... infecting me? | feel like I’m slowly becoming 
more and more like them. | said “ain't” yesterday, Al. | 
never fucking say “ain't,” it’s the worst word in the history 
of language, but | fucking said “ain’t” and, well, look at it. 
It's happening. 


Fredricks: Understood. Thank you. 
<End Log> 


Footnotes 
1. Foundation personnel have verified that all these claims were 
accurate. 


« SCP-1477 | SCP-1478 | SCP-1479 » 


SCP-1479: Inside-Outside 


Item #: SCP-1479 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: The building that houses 
SCP-1479 has been successfully secured by Foundation property 
acquisition techniques; the accompanying complex has been 
retrofitted into Bio-Site 66, with structures added both above and 
below ground to accommodate Foundation needs. Several 
additional SCP objects have been moved to neighbouring buildings 
for study and containment. 


SCP-1479 itself is to be kept shut and locked when not in use for 
testing. Researchers are advised to not introduce organisms 
produced by other anomalous items into SCP-1479 for cross testing. 


Description: SCP-1479 is contained in a basement room of a 
building originally intended to house auxiliary machinery at a closed 
coal-fired power plant. An Agent embedded in the local police force 
had been investigating reports of youth violence in the area, and 
came upon SCP-1479 while scouring the plant with an investigation 
team. 


SCP-1479 appears to be an empty utility room that contains 
approximately 144 km? of taiga. While walls are visible through 
electronic devices, none are visible to the unassisted eye; no 
physical barriers can be detected, and objects can apparently pass 
through these 'walls' unhindered. From within, the entrance to 
SCP-1479 is set within a 3m x 5m, rectangular granite megalith, 
which appears to be the only unnatural structure within the area. 
This megalith stands in the approximate centre of the area; 
wilderness extends approximately 6 kilometres in every direction, 
before one finds themselves on the opposite 'edge'’ of SCP-1479, 
facing the megalith again. 


Geography seems to be consistent between visits, and material and 
personnel deposited within the area remain inside if the door is 
closed; time passes normally within SCP-1479, regardless of 
whether or not it is occupied. It has not been determined whether or 
not SCP-1479 has a proper ceiling; weather patterns appears to 
follow those expected of similar geographic areas, - complete with 
seasons roughly analogous to areas at latitude 60°N - though said 
activity does not mirror that of any similar locations on Earth. 


On occasion, animal tracks, as well as small fauna such as birds 
and rodents, have been encountered within SCP-1479, with no 
apparent source. The original function and purpose of SCP-1479, if 
there even was one, is as of yet unknown. 


« SCP-1478 | SCP-1479 | SCP-1480 » 


SCP-1480: Bus #64 


Item #: SCP-1480 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: The SCPS Ockham is presently 
instructed to maintain observation and communications with 
SCP-1480 on the surface of Titan, in addition to its regular 
geological duties. The distance and technological difficulties 
involved in reaching Titan serve as adequate containment, so long 
as the existence of SCPS Ockham remains a secret. Only a handful 
of ESA personnel vetted and briefed by Foundation liaisons are to 
be informed of the existence and purpose of SCPS Ockham. Select 
photographs of the surface of Titan have been doctored by 
Foundation personnel and provided to the ESA for publication; 
photographs are doctored to remove the presence of SCP-1480. 


SCPS Ockham is to continue attempting to establish contact with 
SCP-1480 and any entities inside of SCP-1480. 


Description: SCP-1480 is a 2004 Blue Bird model Type C school 
bus with all typical school-bus external markings removed other than 
the number "64", currently resting on the surface of Titan. Based on 
physical markings and details, SCP-1480 is believed to be either a 
Weakley County School District school bus declared missing on 
11/02/07 from Dresden Elementary School or a carefully crafted 
replica thereof. No explanation has yet been determined for the 
temporal discrepancy between the bus's disappearance and the 
discovery of SCP-1480. 


SCP-1480's windows are opaque; no light of any wavelength can be 
seen through them. Additionally, ultrasound imaging of the object's 
interior was inconclusive. Periodically, flashing lights can be seen 
emanating from the windows of SCP-1480; these were detected 
frequently before SCPS Ockham landed on Titan, but have since 
become extremely rare. These flashes can be deciphered into 


Morse code messages; how the entity is familiar with Morse code 
protocols is unknown. Judging from phrasing and the varying 
speeds of the flashes, different windows seem to speak from 
different, but consistent, perspectives or voices. The flashing lights 
can be translated into English via Morse code; a log of recorded 
messages can be found in Addendum 1480-A. 


Addendum 1480-A: The SCPS Ockham is currently deployed on 
the surface of Titan as part of an unrelated scientific exchange 
program led between several high-level officials within the European 
Space Agency, NASA, and the Foundation; under the terms of that 
agreement, NASA-ESA provided the interplanetary vehicle and gave 
the Foundation final control over the vehicle's mission parameters in 
exchange for certain technological enhancements from the 
Foundation and the ability to access and use all non-sensitive 
scientific data from the mission. The Ockham detected the presence 
of SCP-1480 from a distance of several thousand kilometers away. 
From a distance, the Ockham could detect SCP-1480 and the 
flashing lights inside the object. The Ockham made landfall on 
14/01/05; the flashing lights within SCP-1480 ceased at that time. 
Since then, the lights have resumed at periodic intervals. Selected 
excerpts of communications recorded from SCP-1480 are listed as 
follows: 


11/01/05: Beginning at 0232 hours! all windows become briefly 
active for a period of ninety seconds. Because windows can only be 
seen from one side of the bus at a time, not all parts of a given 
conversation can be heard at any given time. Content of messages 
recorded consists largely of short, declarative sentences, such as 
"nuh uh", "you cannot do that", and "i am telling". At 0234, the 
windshield flashed the message "settle down back there" and all 
windows ceased flashing. 


13/01/05: Several windows towards the back of the starboard side of 
the bus begin flashing in apparent conversation with one another. 
The rearmost window asks "why did not tyler get on the bus", to 
which the window immediately in front of it replies with "he was 
chosen by the sender". The first window replies (deciphered literally) 
with "aww man" followed by a series of complaints about the 
unidentified entity referred to as "the sender". The third window from 


the rear flashes "who is the sender", followed by a pause believed to 
be a reply from a window on the other side of the bus. At the end of 
that pause, the windshield flashed "what have you done". The 
windshield remained illuminated at the end of that sequence; all 
windows between the windshield and the back of the bus began 
flashing on and remaining on until the lights reached the back of the 
bus. The windows at the back of the bus flashed a series of distress 
messages until the line of steadily-illuminated windows reached the 
back of the bus, at which point the two windows at the back of the 
bus flashed on as well. All windows then became dark. Those two 
windows and another on the other side of the bus have not been 
observed to light up at any point since. 


14/01/05: SCPS Ockham made landfall around 22:01. Prior to 
beginning orbital landing maneuvers that took the Ockham's 
cameras off of SCP-1480, the windows nearest to the Ockham 
began flashing messages such as "do you see that", "what is that", 
and "is that my mommy". As the Ockham approached the surface of 
Titan, these messages began occurring with greater frequency. 
However, once the Ockham made contact with Titan, the windows of 
SCP-1480 flashed bright white once, then went black. As the 
Ockham began its survey of SCP-1480, the only response it 
received from the entity was the windshield occasionally flashing 
"they are not yours". This has been the only significant signal 
received from SCP-1480 since the Ockham's landfall. 


For information regarding additional anomalous events connected to 
SCP-1480, please consult documentation for SCP-1680 and 
SCP-1380. 


Footnotes 
1. For simplicity's sake, all times henceforth are based on estimated 
UTC on Earth at the time of recording. 


« SCP-1479 | SCP-1480 | SCP-1481 » 


SCP-1481: Crack Genie 


Item #: SCP-1481 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1481 is to be kept ina 
securely locked safe on the second floor of Site- . Site security is to 
remain on standby in proximity to tests conducted on SCP-1481. 


Description: SCP-1481 is a plastic recyclable coffee cup. 
SCP-1481 rests in an inactive state until it is physically rubbed by a 
sapient being. When SCP-1481 is rubbed, it will enter its active 
phase, in which it manifests a spectral humanoid hereby referred to 
as SCP-1481-1. SCP-1481-1 manifests dressed in multiple coats 
and torn jeans, all of which are likewise spectral but seem to 
nonetheless be stained with a variety of unknown substances. 
SCP-1481-1 has a nervous tic, which occurs every few minutes. 


Once SCP-1481-1 has manifested, it will offer to grant an unlimited 
number of "wishes" to the individual who caused it to manifest; 
however, SCP-1481-1 is largely non-compliant with said wishes, and 
will often ignore them, wrongly claim to have already fulfilled them, 
or produce an outcome which bears only a slight resemblance to the 
one requested. 


SCP-1481-1 has made a variety of requests, which are typically for 
alcohol, recreational drugs, money, or warm food. 


Addendum: Tests were conducted by Doctor _ . The goal of the 
tests was to establish a general knowledge of the capabilities of 
SCP-1481-1. 


Log of tests with SCP-1481: 


Item Requested: One sandwich 
Result: SCP-1481-1 manifested a sandwich, which it 


promptly ate. 


Item Requested: A winning lottery ticket 
Result: SCP-1481-1 manifested a losing lottery ticket. 


Item Requested: A 100-carat diamond. 
Result: 100 g of coal; SCP-1481-1 assured personnel 
that the coal was pure diamond. 


Item Requested: "The meaning of life" 

Result: SCP-1481-1 laughed hysterically for three 
minutes and fourteen seconds, then claimed to have 
forgotten what had just been requested. Subsequent 
requests for this item produced the same result. 


Item Requested: The means to achieve unlimited 
energy. 

Result: SCP-1481-1 manifested one deviled egg, which 
it promptly ate. 


Interview log 1481-1-2 
Doctor  : Hello, SCP-1481-1. 
SCP-1481-1: Hey there, young feller! 
Doctor :SCP-1481-1, | have some questions for you. 


SCP-1481-1 stares at the South wall of the interview 
chamber for six minutes and nine seconds before 
answering. 


SCP-1481-1: You ever notice how, how white this wall 
is? | f-f-feel like it's got so much meaning. 


Doctor =: Inrelation to the items you are able to 
manifest, where do you take said items from? 


SCP-1481-1: |, | know a g-g-guy who, who, a guy who 
knows a guy. Y'know? 


Doctor :How— 


SCP-1487 interrupts Doctor 


SCP-1481-1: Enough damn questions! Man, | just need 
a taste. Just a taste! You can’t just order me to tell you 
stuff! If you get me, like, | dunno... say, thirty, forty grams 
of the, of the, of the good stuff or s-s-s-s-something? 
C'mon, man, please? 


SCP-1481-1 was provided with 40 grams of 
methamphetamine, which it promptly consumed. Upon 
consuming the methamphetamine, SCP-1481-1 began to 
speak, and continued speaking for five hours and twenty- 
three minutes. Much of what SCP-1481-1 said during 
this time was incomprehensible 'word salad’ interspersed 
with profanity, and a large quantity of what are assumed 
to have been logorrheic neologisms. A full transcript of 
this 'word salad' is available in Document 1481-RL51. 
One particular passage has been retained in this report, 
as it may provide clues to the origin of SCP-1481-1 


Excerpt of speech from SCP-1481-1 


— so there l, I, there | was, right in f-f-f-front of this guy, 
waiting for him to make his, his fuckin’ wishes an’, an’, 
an’, he looks at me an' he says ‘for my f-f-f-first wish, |, |, 
|,... for my...' He says... he... he fuckin’ wishes for me to 
be a fuckin’ alcoholic j-j-j-junkie tweaker crackhead! An' 
then he says that his, his second, his second wish is that 
the, the, the first wish couldn't, couldn't be unwished. An’ 
then he just walks off! | don't, I, | don't, | don't understand 
it. | really don't. So now I'm, I'm, my life is, my whole 
fucking life is r-r-r-ruined. | used to give k-k-kings 
whatever they wanted, you know? | used to live in, in 
palaces. Now | got no f-f-f-friends, just the cold nights 
and the hard ground and nowhere to lay my head down 
and | — 


Interview log 1481-1-7 


Doctor :SCP-1481-1, | was wondering — 


SCP-1481-1: Yeah? 


Doctor _ : If you have these powers, why don't you just 
manifest the drugs yourself, like you do with the food? 


SCP-1481-1 begins weeping; weeping continues for 17 
minutes 41 seconds, at the end of which it demanifests 
and re-enters SCP-1481. 

No further testing of SCP-1481 has been authorized. 


« SCP-1480 | SCP-1481 | SCP-1482 » 


SCP-1482: Mutilated Animal House 


Item #: SCP-1482 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: Site-178 has been built around 
SCP-1482, with the cover story that the Site is a retirement home for 
elderly individuals affected by dementia. A chain-link fence around 
the perimeter with CCTV monitoring is to be maintained. Any 
unauthorised individuals attempting to access Site-178 are to be 
detained, interviewed and — if they present no clear threat — 
released after being provided with a Class-C amnestic. 


Description: SCP-1482 is a structure resembling a residential 
building located in , Shetland, Scotland. 


SCP-1482 appears to be composed entirely of several-hundred 
objects not typically used in construction (collectively referred to as 
SCP-1482-1) attached together with string, rope, glue and 
conventional staples. These objects include: metallic objects such 
as knives, forks and sheet metal; wooden furniture; living, healthy 
and in some cases, partially vivisected specimens of Bos 
primigenius (domestic cattle), Sa/mo salar (Atlantic salmon), Giraffa 
camelopardalis (giraffe) and Orcinus orca (killer whale), as well as 
various members of the Orders Anura (frog) and Lophiiformes 
(angler fish). The living components of SCP-1482 have been 
determined to constitute under 10% (ten percent) of its parts, the 
rest consisting of non-living and artificial objects. These living 
specimens do not appear to require sustenance or excrete waste.