Item description: Agent Orange Sherbet: a small, single serving ice 
cream container, printed in obscure working-class French, with a 
cartoon secret agent on it, complete with a trench coat, fedora, and 
black sunglasses, giving a thumbs up, and saying "Good enough to 
die twice for!". Given to D-2348 for testing. Subject took a bite and 
claimed "tastes like really rich orange sorbet with a vanilla cream 
hint to it, like eating a creamsicle". Subject later complained of minor 
back pain, but reported that he was fine the next day. 


Money entered: 1500 yen 

SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered 

Item description: Mr Q's Cumbersome Soda Bottle: a small, plastic 
bottle, clear with a minty greenish tint, with an odd stopper in the 
neck of the bottle. When tilted normally to drink, the cola hits the 
stopper and won't flow. Through an hour of testing, the stopper is 
discovered to only to work when the bottle is tilted at a right angle 
while being rotated from the bottom of the bottle and shaken slightly. 
Soda was described as refreshing and abnormally tasty. 


Money entered: 10 yen 

SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered 

Item description: A 12 oz beverage can of "American Air." 
Emblazoned with an American flag that circles the can, notably 
displaying 48 stars instead of 50. A small caption on the back of the 
can reads as follows: "A real patriot knows not to breathe the same 
air as communists. A real patriot remembers. Let your love of 
freedom breathe freely, with American Air™." The can contains 
somewhat stale but otherwise normal air. 


Money entered: 100 yen 

SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered 

Item description: A size 64 trilby-style fedora composed of beef 
jerky. The object was flattened inside small cardboard box, with 
nutrition facts and a label reading "Meathat: Teriyaki Fedora," and 
the catchphrase "You can have your hat, and eat it too!" Consumed 
without incident, taste described as tough, but enjoyable. 


Money entered: 500 yen 
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered 


proposed artworks, philosophical schools of thought, political 
systems, scientific theorems, and public works projects. 


Information transmitted within SCP-2303 may be observed through 
a variety of media. Appliances such as antenna-equipped televisions 
and radios which are powered on but not set to an occupied 
frequency are capable of receiving and displaying audio and visual 
information. These typically take the form of short, sporadic bursts of 
interrelated information, such as sequential scenes from a motion 
picture, or related tracks from a musical aloum. SCP-2303 has been 
outfitted with monitors and recording devices throughout its structure 
in order to observe this information. 


In order to observe more abstract concepts, such as philosophical 
precepts or hypothetical political movements, direct observation is 
required. A methodology for discerning the outside influence of 
SCP-2303 (as opposed to inherent thought processes in the 
observer) was developed by former Group of Interest GX-5573, a 
loose collective of academics, artists and amateur researchers from 
throughout southern Argentina who first encountered the anomaly. 
This methodology incorporates elements of autohypnosis, 
meditation techniques developed by indigenous Tehuelche 
tribespeople, and activities similar to the Spiritualist practices of 
automatic writing and psychometry. 


Individual works and concepts encountered within SCP-2303 are 
observable for a time period of between three days and five weeks. 
Information presented within SCP-2303 will become less 
contextualized and coherent from occurrence to occurrence, until 
the unifying concept decays and is no longer observable. 


The manifestation of ideas presented in SCP-2303 do not appear to 
be linked chronologically to their originators. While concepts 
imagined within the past thirty years comprise the majority of 
observed data, older ideas have been documented, in some cases 
originating hundreds of years prior to observation. 


Addendum 2303.1 - Concepts Observed Within SCP-2303 


Floors 1-12: Artistic Works 


Location Observe: Description 
Floor Eight, Hallway) Inmate art exhibit, 
Ferguson Prison 


Floor Three, Room 32 Sequels to The Last 
Temptation of Christ 


Notes 
Correctional officers at 
Ferguson Prison in 
Midway, Texas, 
considered staging a 
public exhibition of 
paintings by inmates 
as a means of 
improving morale and 
performing local 
community outreach. 
Most of the works 
submitted were 
painted by ,a 
particularly notorious 
offender convicted of 
multiple counts of 
murder. 

Two concepts were 
observed in this 
location, but were 
interrelated. The first 
was a planned novel 
by author William 
Styron following up on 
the events of the 
original work by Nikos 
Kazanizakis, told from 
the perspective of 
Judas. The second 
was an adaptation of 
the proposed Styron 
project into a film 
directed by filmmaker 
Terence Malick. While 
no evidence exists 
that Styron ever 
advanced beyond 
discussing the idea, 
the film adaptation 


Floor Five, ceiling Alternate soundtrack 
crawlspace to A Serbian Film 


apparently progressed 
to the point of 
obtaining a 
commitment from 
actor Harvey Keitel to 
reprise the role of 
Judas before the 
project was 
abandoned. 

This occurrence 
consisted of one hour 
and fifty-seven 
minutes of music 
intended to serve asa 
soundtrack to the 
motion picture A 
Serbian Film, 
recorded by industrial 
noise act Pharmakon. 
This was apparently 
intended to broaden 
the film's appeal to 
American audiences. 
The film was 
ultimately scored by 
Serbian musician 
Wikiuh Sky. 


Floor Eleven, Room 8 Comedic spoken-wo/sdA group of students at 


performance, 2011 
Hajj 


the International 
Islamic University in 
Islamabad considered 
holding a stand-up 
comedy festival at the 
Migat Qarn al-Manazil 
prior to the 2011 Hajj 
as an attempt to 
create positive 
coverage in Western 
media outlets. Several 
established 


Floors 13-19: Religion and Philosophy 


Location Observei 
Floor Seventeen, 
Room 12 


Floor Nineteen, Room Church of the Twelfth 


32 


Description 
Treatise on the 
Importance of Self- 
Extinction 


Prophet 


performers had been 
committed to the 
project before it was 
aborted. 


Notes 
This work, written by 
an unknown scholar, 
consisted of a 
discussion between 
eight characters citing 
the works of Aristotle, 
Thomas Aquinas, 
Avicenna, and several 
lesser-known figures 
in philosophical 
thought, making an 
argument for the 
moral imperative of 
suicide. The work 
concludes with each 
character committing 
suicide in turn. The 
scholarly citations and 
style of writing 
suggests that the work 
was considered during 
the ninth century AD 
by an author residing 
in Moorish Cordoba, 
making this entry the 
oldest observed 
unimplemented 
concept found within 
SCP-2303 to date. 
A nascent religious 
movement before 
ultimately disbanding 


Floor Fourteen, North Brewsterism 
Elevator Shaft 


in 2004, this doctrine 
held that the Mahdi, a 
messianic figure 
prominent in Islam, is 
also the twelfth Guru 
of Sikhism2. : 
the individual claiming 
to be the eponymous 
Twelfth Prophet, was 
provisionally classified 
as a Person of Interest 
due to suspected 
anomalous 
phenomena 
associated with their 
activities before 
disappearing in 

This phenomenon was 
a school of intellectual 
thought, discussed 
among a group of 
doctoral students at 
the University of 
Salzburg, proposing 
the infallibility of the 
writings of Harold 
Brewster, an 
unemployed Irish 
university professor 
residing in the Weimar 
Republic during the 
1920s. Post- 
observational 
verification of 
Brewster's papers 
reveal several 
anachronistic 
commentaries on 
modern fields of 


Floor Eighteen, Air 


Vent Between Rooms the Actualization of 


3 and 9 


Sixth Meditation on 


Salvation 


science, such as 
biomolecular 
engineering, m-theory, 
and exoplanetary 
astronomy. Brewster's 
papers also contain 
lengthy, nonsensical 
exhortations against 
activities such as 
creating music, riding 
bicycles and sleeping. 
The majority of 
Brewster's writings are 
suspected to have 
been destroyed 
immediately prior to 
the abandonment of 
Brewsterism by its 
proponents. 

Extant materials 
related to this concept 
consist of 255 
wheatpasted flyers, 
distributed throughout 
urban areas in the 
Kitchener, Ontario 
metropolitan region. 
The only information 
on the flyers consisted 
of the phrase "Sixth 
Meditation on the 
Actualization of 
Salvation,” an address 
of a private residence 
in Bujumbura, 
Burundi, and an 
appointed time of 
2300 hours, 29 July, 
2005. Based on 
observational data, 


this meeting was 
intended to be a 
gathering of unknown 
persons, with the 
intent of generating a 
thoughtform entity 
through anomalous 
meanss. Flyers were 
intended to be posted 
in eighteen additional 
cities in fifteen 
countries before this 
project was 
abandoned. 


Floors 20-27: Public Works and Large Scale Coordinated Projects 


Location Observei 
Floor Twenty-Six, 
Room 21 


Floor Twenty-One, 
Room 6B 


Description 
Proposed Australian 
space program 


Low-cost cryonics 
initiative 


Notes 
Confirmed by 
examination of 
classified documents, 
several officials in the 
Australian Ministry of 
Industry, Innovation 
and Science proposed 
a multi-billion dollar 
investment in a new 
space exploration 
initiative, culminating 
in an interstellar 
satellite mission. 
Detailed information of 
this proposal ceases 
sometime around the 
launch of a research 
mission bound for the 
Saturnian moon of 
japetus. 

A crowdfunded project 
was considered by 


Floor Twenty, Main 
Utility Access Hall 


Floor Twenty-Three, 
Lobby 


Karnali River Dam 


Zambezi Superdeep 
Borehole 


, a high-profile 
startup investor in 
Scottsdale, Arizona, to 
construct several low- 
cost facilities designed 
to house large 
quantities of 
cryopreserved human 
remains. This project 
was intended to 
increase public 
awareness, 
acceptance, and 
adoption of cryonics 
as a funerary practice. 
A hydroengineering 
firm based in the 
United Kingdom was 
considering a proposal 
to construct a massive 
dam project on the 
Karnali River in Nepal. 
Despite no evidence 
that the project ever 
progressed beyond 
internal planning 
discussions, the 
concept engendered 
several large protests 
in Nepali rural areas, 
as well as a speech in 
the Indian Parliament 
condemning the 
project as a "theft of 
resources that cannot 
go Unanswered.” 
Sometime during the 
early 1970s, 
Mozambican officials 
were presented with a 


Floors 28-31: Science 


Location Observei 
Floor Twenty-Nine, 
Cafeteria 


Description 
Argus Radio 
Observatory System 


plan for a deep drilling 
project intended to 
penetrate the Earth's 
crust 50 km offshore 
in the Indian Ocean, 
as part of an 
experimental new 
method for 
hydrocarbon and 
mineral extraction. Of 
note is the fact that 
the proposed site 
would eventually be 
used for a similar 
project in connection 
with SCP-2798. 


Notes 
This proposal was 
discussed in three 
separate meetings 
between entrepreneur 
Jeff Bezos and 
SpaceX COO Gwynne 
Shotwell, centering 
around a prospective 
$50 billion investment 
in a network of 
omnidirectional radio 
telescopes dedicated 
to searching for 
evidence of 
extraterrestrial 
civilizations, to be 
known collectively as 
the Argus Radio 
Observatory System. 
The project was not 


Floor Thirty, Room 18 Engineered anti- 


Floor Twenty-Seven, 
Room 1 


syphilis phage 
introduction 


Superconducting 
Super Collider 


discussed again after 
the third meeting 
between Bezos and 
Shotwell, documented 
to have occurred on 
the campus of the 
Lawrence Livermore 
National Laboratory. 
In 2011, researchers 
at Moscow Medical 
Academy claimed to 
have developed a 
species of 
bacteriophage that 
would eliminate all 
forms of syphilis. Ina 
meeting with Kremlin 
officials later that year, 
the lead project 
researcher proposed 
to introduce this 
bacteriophage "into 
the wild" throughout 
Russia as a public 
health measure. This 
plan was rejected by 
the Kremlin three 
weeks later. 

This particle 
accelerator complex, 
proposed in the 1970s 
in the United States, 
would have been the 
world's largest particle 
accelerator, 
approximately twice 
as large as the Large 
Hadron Collider and 
projected to generate 
approximately three 


Item description: An LP music aloum composed entirely of hard 
green sugar, in an airtight green plastic wrap. Packaging in 
Albanian, with a picture of a cellist and a pianist playing a duet. 
Playing the aloum resulted in an unrecognized piano/strings 
movement, with the LP uncoiling itself as the needle passed. 
Surprisingly, this did not seem to interfere with the balance of the LP 
or the phonograph machine in any way. A recording of the music is 
available on request. The LP was consumed by those attending the 
presentation, reportedly tasting like lime-flavored hard candy. 


Money entered: 1000 yen 

SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered 

Item description: An olive green plastic bag of dried bay leaves. 
Packaging in ancient Greek, Delphic dialect, with the phrase 
"Pythia's Choice™ brand Bay Leaves." Three leaves were fed to 
subject D-3968. Subject reported loss of feeling in his limbs, 
displayed unusual vocal patterns, and seemed to be entering a 
trancelike state. Upon consuming two more leaves, the subject 
collapsed and went into convulsions, screaming apparent gibberish 
interspersed with ancient Greek of the same dialect displayed on the 
package. Subject continued to convulse for three minutes and 
twenty-four seconds, then became limp and unresponsive. Subject 
died two days afterward, with no signs of recovery. Analysis of 
leaves has shown an extremely high concentration of ethylene, a 
chemical compound known to cause the observed effects. How the 
subject spoke Delphic Greek is as yet unknown. The translation of 
the subject's outburst is largely nonsensical, and is available on file 
by request. 


Money entered: 4 mon (coin circa mid-15th century Japan) 
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered 

Item description: Small red velvet pouch with intricate golden 
embroidery depicting various hidgi fans. Bound with golden string. 
Opening the pouch revealed the contents to be little more than dust. 
Analysis of dust reveals it to consist of desiccated rice, red beans, 
shrimp and soybeans, originating from approximately the same era 
as the currency used. 


Money entered: 300 yen 
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered 


times its energy. This 
project was formally 
cancelled by the 
United States 
Congress in 1993. 


Floor 32: CLASSIFIED 


Location Observe: Description Notes 
Floor Thirty-Two, The Man at the DATA RESTRICTED 
Grand Hall Threshold TO LEVEL 5 
CLEARANCE 


TS/2303/EYES ONLY 


Addendum 2303.2 - MTF Phi-9 Introductory 
Statement 


FROM: Rojas, Aurelio 

TO: Guest4939 

RE: <none> 

Attachment: HANDBOOK_PHI_9.pdf, 
securityapp.pdf, HR_rates_plans.xls, 
OPEN_THIS_LAST.xyx, DONT_OPEN.aad 


Let's get this thing out of the way. This is 
Phi-9, and most of us were inducted to the 
Foundation from outside. You are joining us 
with none of our history. 


That's good. 


You're a Barquero now. That means you ferry 
this stuff to wherever the hell it goes after it's 
gone. The bosses above told you to document 
this and research it and what have you. Don't 
worry, we're going to do plenty of that. 


But really, you're here to watch these things in 
the tower go away and disappear. To make 
sure they go away and disappear. Eduardo 


calls them dreams but he's an asshole and not 
to be trusted. You'll find that out soon.