Description: SCP-2078 is a meme transmitted by media or word-of- 
mouth communication referencing an individual named " . 
hereafter designated SCP-2078-1, an independent candidate who 
runs in every presidential election of the United States of America. 
There is no evidence that SCP-2078-1 exists in reality; the only 
information that is known regarding SCP-2078-1 comes from 
material produced by and interviews with SCP-2078 infectees. 
SCP-2078 only affects individuals who self-identify as citizens of the 
United States of America. Individuals must be exposed to infection 
vectors at a certain rate, ranging from three to twenty-five minutes 
per day, in order to become infected. Knowledge of SCP-2078's 
memetic nature and other counter-memetic practices are effective at 
combating infection. 


SCP-2078-1's political platform is unorthodox. Planks include 
legislation mandating a "birth requirement" of four or more children 
for all married couples, legislation defunding essential governmental 
programs such as defense or welfare in order to increase 
government subsidies of food-related industries, and a constitutional 
amendment prohibiting vegetarianism (Document-2078- compiles 
all information regarding SCP-2078-1's political platform). 


SCP-2078 infection dramatically alters an individual's behavior. All 
infectees, regardless of prior political affiliation, ascribe to 
SCP-2078-1's political platform; most infectees actively seek to 
spread SCP-2078 through the creation of political advertisements, 
usage of social media, or simple word-of-mouth communication. 
Furthermore, most infectees exhibit dramatically increased appetite, 
as well as decreased aversion to unhygienic practices. 
Experimentation has confirmed that SCP-2078 infectees lack a 
satiety response, enabling them to consume far in excess of normal 
human capacities. 


SCP-2078 infectees have been observed to coordinate gatherings of 
up to approximately two hundred infected individuals. These 


gatherings have been recorded to last for up to a week. Infectees 
employed in food service professions often use their positions to 
deliver large quantities of food to the gathering place in order to 
facilitate near-constant food consumption. Due to inadequate waste 
disposal facilities and infectee disregard for cleanliness, sanitation 
suffers dramatically. Infection and disease, sometimes resulting in 
death, are common. Infectees typically burn the bodies of the 
deceased. 


SCP-2078 infection vectors are distributed throughout the internet 
and mass media by an unknown source. Furthermore, despite 
Foundation intervention, SCP-2078-1’s name has occasionally 
appeared on the ballots of some voting districts. 


Addendum-2078A: On / /20 , MTF Alpha-3 operatives 
intercepted a video file containing SCP-2078 infection vectors 
intended to be distributed via the internet. Notably, the 
advertisement seemed to include the first recorded instance of direct 
communication from SCP-2078-1. A transcript is provided below. 


Retrieved Document Log 2078-23 


Camera pans over a sequence of still images of farmland 
and domesticated animals. Soft piano music plays in 
background. The sequence of images ends with a shot 
of an apple tree, with white picket fence in foreground 
and house in background. A man, wearing a suit with a 
blue tie, enters from the right into the shot. His face is 
digitally obscured, making it impossible to determine 
identity. He is using a toothpick, which he quickly 
discards. The man is presumed to be or represent 
SCP-2078-1. 


SCP-2078-1: I'm very lucky to be here today, and those 
of you who've given me support should all feel very 
proud of yourselves for working so hard to make this 
possible. | want to share with you some of my beliefs. 


SCP-2078-1 is shown giving a speech to an audience, 
which stands and applauds. SCP-2078-1's voice 
continues to narrate. 


SCP-2078-1: | believe in people power. | believe that 
together, Americans can accomplish amazing things. | 
decided to run for President because | had faith that 
America could make the right choice. 


Children are shown feeding chickens. 


SCP-2078-1: I'm all about moving back towards 
America's roots. You see, other politicians don't like to 
acknowledge America's fundamentals. We need those 
fundamentals to turn ourselves away from the path of 
asceticism. 


SCP-2078-1 is shown helping to deliver a baby. 
SCP-2078-1's voice is partially obscured by the mother's 
vocalizations. 


SCP-2078-1: | firmly believe that America can make the 
right choice to reclaim our potential from the forces that 
have gripped this country for the past six thousand 
years. 


Same shot of chickens as before is displayed. Children 
have disappeared. One chicken has scraps of cloth stuck 
in its claws. SCP-2078-1 then re-enters screen. 


SCP-2078-1: | want you to imagine an America where 
you can always hear a beating heart to reassure you that 
we are alive and that blood yet flows through these soft, 
soapy limbs. The Declaration of Independence says that 
we are given an inalienable right to the pursuit of 
happiness, but America, we are miserable. To think, to 
feel, to act, to be free—to be human—is to be miserable. 
The alternative is obvious. Think about what it would be 
like to strip off your clothes and feel your innards grow 
thick and heavy while incense wafts upwards from your 
loins and coils itself in your nose. Think about what it 
means to want nothing and know nothing. Imagine a 
world where we are all stuffed tight in a cramped, dim, 
sour-smelling place. Throughout the entire packed mass 
you'd feel the warmth and sweat and skin and soft fat of 


every other American. You'd hear their cries echo from 
wall to wall. And the world would know the dark, 
pulsating heart of this country. 


Screen fades to black. The words "[REDACTED] 20 " 
appear on the screen. Fine print at the bottom of the 
screen reads, "| can smell the fat burning off your 
bones." 


SCP-2078-1: God, wouldn't it be beautiful? 
« SCP-2077 | SCP-2078 | SCP-2079 » 


SCP-2079: The Law of the Grokodus 


Item #: SCP-2079 
Object Class: Keter 


Special Containment Procedures: Where feasible, Foundation 
personnel are to monitor the laws, code of conduct, canon law, 
charter, or employee agreements of all nations and organizations 
listed in Document 2079-1 for signs of SCP-2079 influence. No 
group may be monitored by one of its own members. 


Minor incidences of SCP-2079 may usually be addressed simply by 
alerting the relevant authorities to the presence of instances of 
SCP-2079-A. If this proves insufficient, additional efforts to strike 
SCP-2079 must be approved by the External Operations Board. 


In cases where SCP-2079 has progressed to the point where 
SCP-2079-B begins to manifest, Mobile Task Force Pi-4 will analyze 
the legal aberrations caused by this occurrence of SCP-2079 to 
discover and effect a means of dispersing SCP-2079-B. If no 
vulnerability presents itself, it may be necessary to wait for the 
ratification of further instances of SCP-2079-A before acting. 


To prevent a theoretical manifestation of SCP-2079 affecting the 
Foundation, an independent agency called the Select Committee for 
Prudence has been established to monitor the Foundation charter 
for legal anomalies. 


Description: SCP-2079 refers to a phenomenon where an authority 
will begin to enact laws regarding a being referred to as the 
Grokodus. 


SCP-2079-A is the set of laws drawn on during incidences of 
SCP-2079. Though these laws are in a 10th century dialect of Old 
English and do not conform to modern legal standards, nothing 
unusual about this is observed by members of the affected 


organization. Persons involved in the passage of an SCP-2079-A 
instance show thorough understanding of that instance, but they 
demonstrate no additional comprehension of similar Old English 
writings. 


Instances of SCP-2079-A are enacted at an increasing rate, which 
varies greatly between manifestations. To date, 282 instances of 
SCP-2079-A have been observed, drawn apparently at random from 
a total pool that statistical inference suggests contains between 350 
and 375 laws. For a sampling of these, please see Addendum 
2079-14. If few instances of SCP-2079-A are currently in effect, the 
SCP-2079 event may be ended by notifying the affected 
organization of the existence of aberrations in their legal code. 


When approximately fifty laws from SCP-2079-A have been ratified, 
SCP-2079-B will begin to manifest, typically remaining within twenty 
kilometers of the seat of the affected organization. SCP-2079-B is a 
large quadrupedal creature covered in stiff black hairs. It has a long 
snout containing powerful jaws, and does not possess visible eyes. 
It is surrounded by 29 animate, levitating hands, which appear 
human and seem to have been severed at the wrist. These protect 
and manipulate objects for SCP-2079-B, and are believed to be 
under its direct control. 


SCP-2079-B can only be interacted with as specified by those 
instances of SCP-2079-A currently in force, indicating that it is the 
Grokodus. In other circumstances, SCP-2079-B is intangible and 
unaffected by all obstacles. When in accordance to SCP-2079-A, 
SCP-2079-B has demonstrated several other anomalous 
capabilities, including mass hypnosis, extreme strength, and 
production of large quantities of wine. 


Certain laws in SCP-2079-A specify punishments should the 
Grokodus fail to abide by them, the worst of which appears to be 
dispersal, which immediately ends the SCP-2079 manifestation. 
Though SCP-2079-B shows signs of sapience, it has never 
communicated, and all its actions seem to be to ensure it remains in 
accordance with SCP-2079-A. From when SCP-2079-B appears to 
when it is dispersed, authorities will become very resistant to 
repealing SCP-2079-A. It is unknown what would happen if 
SCP-2079-A were ratified in full. 


approximately 30-45 minutes after first contact, test subjects begin 
to experience severe sensory hallucinations, to the effect that they 
now perceive the world around them to be the fictional setting of the 
Jack Proton franchise. In this state, test subjects almost invariably 
believe that they are members of Jack Proton's "Junior Action 
Squad" and have been assigned a mission of utmost interplanetary 
security, which researchers and security personnel of the 
Foundation are involved in or are attempting to prevent them from 
completing. Though attempts to neutralize Foundation personnel 
with SCP-232 have invariably proven futile, test subjects have been 
noted to resort to physical violence on occasion. 


Persons afflicted by the later stages of SCP-232 exposure will resist 
any attempts to remove SCP-232 from their person, and, if 
separated from it, will attempt to recover it by any means available 
to them. Effects of the later stages of exposure wear off gradually 
over a period of approximately 3-6 hours after SCP-232 is removed 
from the subject's person; in approximately % of tests involving 
long-term exposure, test subjects have retained memories of their 
artificial persona after dissipation of the effect, resulting in cognitive 
dissonance and associated psychological impairments. 


SCP-232 came to the Foundation's attention on / / _, following the 
arrest of Martin , aretired steel worker living in [REDACTED], 
PA, for disorderly conduct following an affray at a shopping mall. 

, who insisted on referring to himself as "Space Cadet Max 
Mars", was taken into custody after confronting several mall patrons 
and brandishing SCP-232, demanding to know the location of "the 
Phobos Ruby", an artifact the theft of which from the Martian 
Museum of History drives the plot of the novella Murder on the lo 
Express. During debriefing prior to amnestic therapy, stated that 
he had owned one of the toys as a child and had been a fan of the 
series, and purchased SCP-232 from an online auction site for 
nostalgic value because he had "had so much fun playing cops & 
aliens with it" in his youth. 


+ Show Interview logs 


All interviews conducted by Dr. J. Andrews. Test 
subjects had no exposure to the Jack Proton franchise 
prior to their acquisition by the Foundation. All interviews 


Addendum 2079-14: The following is a representative sample of 
the laws in SCP-2079-A, along with a brief analysis of their effects. 
The text of the laws has been translated from Old English. 


SCP-2079-A-1 

Reference name — Humility 

Text — As the Grokodus stands in defiance of the will of 
Heaven, it can not set foot on Holy Ground or speak the 
name of the Father. That it may know its degradation, 
the Grokodus will make alms to each of the righteous 
Poor that it should meet, for they are as greater than the 
Grokodus in the eyes of God as the Grokodus is to the 
righteous Poor in the eyes of Man. 

Effects — As SCP-2079-B does not talk and has never 
been sighted in a church regardless of whether 2079- 
Humility is in effect, it is unclear what effect the first 
portion of the law has. After SCP-2079-B manifested, it 
was observed to on several occasions give gold coins to 
beggars it encountered in Canberra. 

Notes — This is the first instance of SCP-2079-A to be 
recorded, having been passed by the Commonwealth 
Government of Australia in 1960, although the 
Foundation did not become aware of it until the first 
manifestation of SCP-2079-B in 1961. 


SCP-2079-A-53 

Reference name — Sustenance 

Text — For we are greater and more magnanimous than 
the Grokodus, we allow it the luxury of food which it has 
denied of so many. The Grokodus may consume its food 
in its own way, but that it does not strip the hills and 
glens of smiling Men, if it should devour more than ten of 
the Children of Adam between one midnight and the 
next, it shall be dispersed unto the Earth. The same shall 
it suffer if it dares to harm one of Ours. 

Effects — Whenever 2079-Sustenance is in effect, 
SCP-2079-B will use its hands to catch, flay, and remove 
the eyes of nearby humans. It then eats the collected 
skin and eyes. SCP-2079 will carefully observe the limit 
of ten victims each day, but otherwise shows no pattern 


in whom it attacks. The meaning of the last clause is 
unclear. Notably, corpses with similar injuries have been 
found whenever 2079-Sustenance is in effect, even if too 
few laws are in effect for SCP-2079-B to manifest. 

Notes — During the incidence of SCP-2079 affecting the 
bylaws of the Boy Scouts of America, 2079-Sustenance's 
dispersal method was successfully utilized. 


SCP-2079-A-65 

Reference name — \ron 

Text — In remembrance of how the Grokodus would 
adopt the airs of Man, though no such thing it was, the 
Grokodus shall dwell in a house of their most dismal 
lron. All Iron that God witnesses pass within a scant foot 
of its filthy hide shall there remain as long as the 
Grokodus insists on clawing to Life and Earth. Should it 
seek to forget, let it find so little solace in the Vine as it 
finds fear at the recollection of Iron. 

Effects — Any iron or alloy containing large amounts of 
iron that comes within about half a meter of SCP-2079-B 
is strongly attracted to the surface of its body, apparently 
causing SCP-2079-B moderate distress. This effect does 
not apply to its hands, which have been observed pulling 
metal crushed into flat plates away from its body and 
throwing it outside the attraction zone. 


SCP-2079-A-148 

Reference name — Penance