Facing what is assumed to be an unexpectedly strong 
force armed with conventional weapons, Site Director 
Pritchard orders Fireteams Dacia and Egypt to enter the 
building. This decision is strongly opposed by Agents 
Talbot and Strohman, who have by now taken note of 


the unusually panicked reactions from trained Mobile 
Task Force agents. Their objections are overruled. 


Agent Talbot leads Fireteams Dacia and Egypt through 
the front door. They are immediately converted into 
instances of 2310-A. With the last of Mobile Task Force 
Rho-14 routing, Director Pritchard orders a full 
withdrawal, unaware that the entire team has already 
been effectively killed in action. 


Director Pritchard didn't get reassigned because she got 
people killed. If the Foundation exiled Site Directors to 
"Keter duty" every time they got people killed, I'd be on 
Keter duty. Pritchard got reassigned because, with 
everyone around her telling her to exercise caution, she 
proved incapable of cutting her losses. 


| know Pritchard was popular here, so let me assure you 
that her career will not be solely defined by its darkest 
moment. She has done excellent work for the 
Foundation, and her talents will be put to good use 
elsewhere. 


5:13 AM: Many converted Foundation agents flee the 
building, along with other instances of 2310-A frightened 
by the armed intruders. Their unusual mental state is 
immediately apparent. Field Team Epsilon-7 resumes 
reconnaissance of the house and detains the fleeing 
2310-As. 


6:30 AM: On-site debriefing of converted agents is 
uninformative; they are found to be unable to explain the 
events of the raid. Their shift in identity is not yet fully 
noted, and they are initially believed to be simply 
suffering from an anomalous form of amnesia. 


Interviews with instances of 2310-A who had more time 
to adjust to their condition are more revealing. It quickly 
becomes clear that they are not affiliated with any known 
groups of interest. They discuss their shared identity as 
Sarah Palmer. Improvised tests comparing their 


memories and personalities provide tentative support for 
the claims that they are duplicates of the same 
consciousness. 


Their testimony further establishes that the 2310-As had 
decided to seclude themselves in the house both to 
conceal their condition, and because each of them 
regarded it as their home. The struggles within the house 
reported by witnesses had been instigated by the "True 
Sarahs," a clique of 2310-As who happened to physically 
resemble the original Sarah Palmer. The True Sarahs 
had unsuccessfully attempted to evict the other 2310-As 
when money and food began to run low. (This shortage 
seems to have been inadvertently caused by the original 
Sarah Palmer, then living in Florida, who around this 
time filed a report of identity theft with Bank of America.) 


Most of the 2310-As prove cooperative following these 
interviews. Director Pritchard asks several volunteers 
among them to bring monitoring devices into the house 
and to send out the remaining 2310-As hiding inside, 
including twelve converted Foundation agents. 


6:45 AM: 2310-As acting under Foundation direction 
enter the house. Several of these volunteers are 
threatened with guns by converted agents. However, the 
original Sarah Palmer was unfamiliar with the operation 
of assault rifles, and none of the converted agents are 
able to turn off the safety. 


Over the course of the next four hours, the remaining 
2310-As are successfully coaxed out of the building by 
2310-A volunteers. They are taken into Foundation 
custody and brought to Site 115, where they meet with 
Foundation therapists to help prepare them for 
detainment. 


1:10 PM: After a review of local property prices, it is 
determined that it would be more economical to elevate 
and relocate the house than to secure it on-site. A 
request is sent to Site 227 for the temporary use of an 


engineering team. 


The report keeps going, but I'll spare you the details of 
the engineering team moving the actual house. Suffice to 
say SCP-2310 claimed its final Foundation casualty 
during structure relocation: the roof (which had been 
weakened by Fireteam Corinth's forced entry) collapsed, 
and debris landed on one of the engineers. While this did 
not convert him into an instance of 2310-A, his injuries 
did cause him to lose the use of his legs. He is the lone 
survivor of contact with SCP-2310. 


SCP-2310 is dumb. It does not try to trick its victims or 
lure anyone in. It simply relies on the human desire to 
help people. Neighbors went to check on the elderly 
couple living there, and when they didn't come out their 
friends came to look for them, and police came to look 
for them, and we came along and joined the line of 
lemmings. We thought we could get away with doing the 
same thing because we're experts. True expertise would 
have consisted of doing something different. 


The SCP Foundation does immeasurably important 
work, and usually does it extremely well. However, I've 
seen too many talented Foundation employees infected 
with the used-tissue mindset: that the threats we face are 
of such danger and immediacy that we must throw 
everything we have at them, and tally up the cost 
afterwards. 


But while the Foundation's resources are substantial, | 
can assure you they are finite. They come from 
somewhere, and if we abuse them, they will go to 
someone else. In the face of danger, we must exercise 
caution. We must be willing to lose, fall back, and fight 
another day, another way. Or the day will come when we 
pick up the phone to call for backup, and the voice on the 
other end will tell us "No." 


| look forward to working with all of you at Site 115. 


Money entered: 10000 yen 

SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered 

Item description: "Drinky Bird." A tin can with no pop-top, with a 
paper label of an ortolan drinking from a liquor bottle. Contained a 
fattened ortolan drowned in brandy. Chemical analysis revealed no 
abnormalities. 


Money entered: 800 yen 

SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered 

Item description: A beeswax hexagonal prism - like a ‘cell’ ina 
honeycomb - about 6 cm deep with edges about 3 cm - about the 
size of a single-serving yogurt cup. The hexagonal surface was 
stamped with a bas-relief of a cartoon bee with Russian text 
translated to ‘Springtime Syrup’. Nutrition facts were on the side. 
Contained puffed oats, each of which contained a small amount of 
fresh honey. Eaten by the researcher, with a sample saved for later 
analysis. 


Money entered: 200 yen 

SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered 

Item description: A live, hairless, boneless guinea pig with nutrition 
facts tattooed along the right side in English. Contains unusually 
high levels of vitamins and minerals. Contains unknown nutritional 
supplement 'Heliate’ with no RDA. After killing the guinea pig, the 
researcher attempted to remove a limb for consumption, but 
accidentally breached the abdominal cavity, revealing that it 
contained a green savory custard where its organs would be 
expected. 


Money entered: 100 yen 

SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered 

Item description: "Stan-Fizz." Standard-shaped soda can. English 
text, Coca-Cola bottling company. Green and purple color scheme 
on the logo, unknown substance 'standis' listed in the ingredients 
list, in the form of ‘Artificial flavor of standis'. Presumably no actual 
standis in the beverage. Taste reminiscent of grape soda and 
champagne. 


Money entered: 490 yen 
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered 
Item description: Red plastic container labeled HONOR DUEL. 


—Site Director Prell 


Footnotes 

1. SCP-2310 has since been fully relocated to Site 115. 

2. Their association with a specific date was first observed by a 
therapist in the Foundation's employ, who noticed several instances 
of 2310-A expressing distress over the "recent" September 11 
attacks. 

3. 2310-As have expressed a preference for cognomina such as 
"Sarah Palmer the Blond" and "Sarah Palmer the Youngest" over 
the numbering system originally used. They are reluctant to answer 
to names other than Sarah Palmer, particularly their pre-conversion 
names. 

4. Later found to be women's nightwear. 

5. More commonly known as Sarah Palmer the Taller Black Guy. 

6. I'm aware that Pritchard is still lobbying for an investigation into 
cult connections. This is face-saving nonsense. 


« SCP-2309 | SCP-2310 | SCP-2311 » 


SCP-2311: Baby Wizard 


Item #: SCP-2311 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2311 is to be contained at 
the site of its discovery, the basement of a residential building in 
Rochester, New York. This residence is designated Temporary 
Satellite Site 14, with the basement acting as SCP-2311's cell until 
suitable long-term containment can be achieved. Temporary Sat- 
Site 14 is to be staffed at all times by no less than three Foundation 
operatives posing as tenants under standard "Plain Sight" cover 
protocols, with preference given to personnel who have survived at 
least one reality restructuring event. A designated developmental 
psychologist must conduct biweekly sessions with SCP-2311 in 
order to discourage breach attempts. 


Floodlights must be installed in every interior room of Temporary 
Sat-Site 14, with controls easily accessible by all personnel. In 
addition, motion-activated lights must be fitted to all building exits. 
All facility lights must be properly maintained and tested by site 
personnel on a weekly basis. 


Description: SCP-2311 is a nine-year-old human male with 
Klinefelter syndrome, Kaspar Hauser syndrome, and a ventricular 
septal defect. SCP-2311’s stunted language skills! and distinctive 
toddling gait are believed to be a result of severe social and 
emotional deprivation from an early age. SCP-2311 also exhibits 
heliophobia and aquaphobia, likely as a result of childhood trauma. 


SCP-2311 has the ability to alter matter with little regard for physical 
laws, Causality or logic. The potential magnitude of this capability is 
unknown. For what is believed to be psychological reasons, 
SCP-2311 displays diminished anomalous capacity while in a 
contented or fearful emotional state and while within the confines of 
Sat-Site 14. If either of these conditions are not met (ie., SCP-2311 


is in an angered or excited emotional state, or has left its 
containment cell in the basement of Sat-Site 14), SCP-2311 will 
begin to express its anomalous traits. If neither of these conditions 
are met, SCP-2311's breach of containment should be considered a 
potential CK-class reality restructuring event, as at this time the 
Foundation does not possess sufficient data to predict its 
capabilities or likely course of action in this scenario. 


To date, SCP-2311 has been observed to: 


Manifest and attempt to consume approximately 20 kilograms 
of La Perruche brand individually-wrapped sugar cubes. 
Inflict fatal physical harm on Foundation personnel by 
anomalous means. Injuries bear a cosmetic resemblance to 
necrosis spreading at a medically impossible rate. 
Translocate instantaneously with no regard for physical 
barriers such as the interior walls of Sat-Site 14. To date, 
SCP-2311 has not displayed any ability or willingness to 
teleport outside the confines of Sat-Site 14. 

Manifest heat and flames measured at 600°C. Flames created 
by SCP-2311 have never been observed to consume fuel or 
otherwise affect the objects around them. Despite palpable 
heat, they inflict no damage on human tissue. 

In one recorded incident, SCP-2311 emitted a stream of liquid 
at an estimated pressure of 800 kPa and temperature of 
-200°C. The liquid poured from SCP-2311’s nasal, oral and 
anal orifices for fifteen minutes, causing SCP-2311 apparent 
distress. Unlike the anomalous flames and heat generated by 
SCP-2311, the extreme cold of this liquid did affect human 
tissue as expected, inflicting nerve damage after 5 minutes of 
continuous exposure. After the liquid warmed to room 
temperature, it became indistinguishable from normal water; 
how it was able to maintain a liquid state at -200°C is not 
presently understood. 


SCP-2311's anomalous capabilities are not believed to be restricted 
to the phenomena listed above. Opportunities to observe 
SCP-2311's reality-restructuring capacity have been limited to two 
breach events since Foundation custody commenced, and to the 
circumstances of SCP-231 1's initial containment. 


Recovery Details: SCP-2311 was brought to Foundation attention 
by assets embedded in the New York State Office of Child and 
Family Services (OCFS), who were investigating SCP-231 1’s living 
conditions after neighbors reported a "yelping boy" being kept in a 
basement for religious or occult purposes. The Foundation first 
attempted to seize SCP-2311 covertly via Foundation operatives 
posing as OCFS officials working in tandem with local law 
enforcement. During the investigation, an individual believed to be 
SCP-2311’s father (hereafter designated Person of 
Interest-2311-01) detonated several homemade incendiary devices. 
Local law enforcement disengaged and Mobile Task Force Psi-7 
(“Home Improvement”) took command under standard cover 
protocol "Federal Agents." MTF Psi-7 agents entered the burning 
residence and encountered SCP-2311 displaying its anomalous 
properties. MTF Psi-7 suffered casualties but managed to contain 
SCP-2311. Pol-2311-01 died from smoke inhalation prior to Psi-7’s 
breach of the residence2. 


In the aftermath, the City of Rochester Fire Department extinguished 
the fire, and the damaged residence was acquired via a Foundation 
shell company. Containment personnel posing as contractors 
repaired the damage caused by the fire and enacted SCP-2311’s 
current special containment procedures. 


ARTIFACT MANIFEST: 2311/3 CLEARANCE REQUIRED 


¢ Numerous non-anomalous books and manuscripts 
on occult subjects, including Liber Al vel Legis, 
Kitab Sirr al-Asrar, and one hundred and eight 
copies of Tabula Smaragdina in various 
languages. 

¢ Two sets of iron restraints and one iron hobble, 
along with two unopened boxes of Rothco-brand 
plastic restraints. 

¢ The decomposed remains of an adult woman, 
found interred in a crawlspace. Genetic tests 
confirm the deceased was SCP-231 1's biological 
mother. Decomposition made it impossible to 
determine a definitive cause of death, but the 
deceased appears to have undergone a botched 


hysterectomy. 
* A double jacket, industrial-strength firehose and 
requisite plumbing. 
Plaster walls and ceiling filled with fiberglass 
insulation and resilient channels as apparent 
soundproofing measures. 
Several empty boxes of La Perruche brand 
individually-wrapped sugar cubes and attendant 
wrappers. 
¢ A bassinet, a crib, and a twin-sized mattress sans 
bedding, all badly soiled. 


RECOVERED DOCUMENT: 2311/3 CLEARANCE REQUIRED 


The following is a document believed to have been 
written by Pol-2311-01. Most of the pages in the 
notebook were filled with diagrams and nonsensical 
equations concerning occult and alchemical subjects. All 
legible text is included below; access to the original 
manuscript requires 2311/4 clearance. 


10/11/20 : Double-checked and triple-checked 
calculations. It's real. It either exists or 
theoretically could. Nothing stopping it. So 
where the fuck is it? 


10/13/20 : Found a modern Chaos Magick 
forum online. Interesting, but disagree with 
initial premise. Trouble isn't a lack of belief; | 
have a surfeit of belief. | have belief 
crystallized into evidence (double-checked, 
triple-checked, not like | can get a second 
opinion). Magick is real. The only impediment 
to its practice is an apparent paucity of 
magicians.