Prior to recovery, SCP-3165 was found wearing soiled cotton 
underwear and a pink thermal. Testing has revealed that dried spots 
of blood caking the clothing are from 17 different sources; all 
sources are individuals who were reported as missing from 19 -19 
around the location of SCP-3165's recovery. A biopsy of SCP-3165 
shows that it relied heavily on human beings as its primary food 
source, but was unable to gather sufficient nutrition from this diet. 


Less than 100m away, Foundation personnel discovered a cave that 
SCP-3165 utilized for shelter. Several objects hoarded by SCP-3165 
have been recovered, none of which possess anomalous properties. 
These items include twelve pieces of stainless steel jewelry, 
including a locket which contains the image of a young blonde 
woman, who has since been identified as Elizabeth . She was 
reported missing in 19 after a visit to Ukraine with her partner; both 
individuals are presumed to have been killed by SCP-3165. 
Additional discoveries include a face that has been separated from 
the head, peeled up by the dermis. Rough cuts have been made 
around the eye sockets and oral cavity, suggesting the use of the 
skin as a mask. 


Addendum-1: On 09/09/20 , a Foundation-cleared child 
psychologist assessed SCP-3165's mental capacity and determined 
that it is able to understand at least two hundred words of the 
English language. SCP-3165 also possesses the developmental 
reasoning and behaviors of a roughly six to seven-year-old human 
being, including a desire for physical contact. Researchers 
communicating with SCP-3165 have been advised accordingly to 
use simple language. 


Addendum-2: To date, SCP-3165 has made the following requests: 


A weighted blanket to simulate human comfort (approved) 
Jewelry (approved), limited to plastic jewelry. 

A female companion to remain in its containment chamber at 
all times (denied) 

A synthetic wig (denied) 

Drawing utensils (approved), crayons provided for additional 
communication in further testing. 

Non-toxic makeup (approved) and assistance in applying it 
from Foundation personnel (pending approval) 

Books and reading lessons (approved) 

Indoor roaming privileges (denied) 

Physical recreation (approved), access allowed to Foundation 
gymnasium when accompanied by two guards and an 
assigned physical therapist, due to the abnormalities of 
SCP-3165's physique. 


Addendum-3: 


+ Video Interview Log 009 


Foreword: Dr. Warrens has replaced Dr. 

in interviewing SCP-3165 after SCP-3165 
attacked him during Video Interview Log 00 . 
Dr. has sustained major injuries to his 
right arm and ribcage, and is scheduled to 
undergo a procedure to have his right arm 
amputated at the shoulder. 


Interviewer: Dr. Warrens 
<Begin Log> 


[Dr. Warrens enters SCP-3165's containment 
chamber with an accompanying guard, and 
SCP-3165 turns to face Dr. Warrens from a 
cushion on the floor. Dr. Warrens smiles at 
SCP-3165 and approaches it with caution. 
SCP-3165 emits a throaty growl and nods its 
head at her feet. After a moment of 


contemplation, Dr. Warrens sits a few meters 
from the mattress. She raises her hands to 
begin signing.] 


Dr. Warrens: Hello, SCP-3165. How are you? 


[SCP-3165 makes the sign for "pretty", and 
then "girl".] 


Dr. Warrens: You... feel like a pretty girl? 


[SCP-3165 shakes its head violently and 
makes a gurgling noise. It repeats the signs for 
"pretty" and "girl", then points to Dr. Warrens.] 


Dr. Warrens: Am /a pretty girl? 


[SCP-3165 squeals and claps its hands 
together. It makes a few indescernible signs, 
and then the sign for "hair". It points to Dr. 
Warrens again.] 


Dr. Warrens: Do you like my hair? 


[SCP-3165 signs "want", and then points to 
itself. It quickly strokes the side of its head with 
one hand.] 


Dr. Warrens: Do you... do you want my hair? 
Are you asking to touch my hair? 


[SCP-3165 bounces in place and nods. Dr. 
Warrens touches a hand to her own head, and 
inhales sharply. She looks back at the guard, 
who moves his hand down to the holster on his 
belt to reassure her. A few seconds pass 
before Dr. Warrens looks to SCP-3165 again.] 


Dr. Warrens: Okay, SCP-3165. | will allow you 
to touch my hair, but you have to, er, use soft 
hands$ and answer my questions. 


[SCP-3165 jumps from the mattress and 
scuttles up to Dr. Warrens. Dr. Warrens 
flinches when SCP-3165 makes a chortling 
noise and places its hands on her head. The 
guard begins to draw his gun, but Dr. Warrens 
gestures for him to wait. SCP-3165 begins to 
stroke her hair with the palms of its hands.] 


Dr. Warrens: Can you tell me why you hurt 
people? Why did you hurt the people who 
brought you here? 


[SCP-3165 quickly signs "hungry". It appears 
to think for a moment, and then signs "fear".] 


Dr. Warrens: Did you want to eat them? 


[SCP-3165 continues to brush Dr. Warrens's 
hair with its hands. It fails to respond to Dr. 
Warrens. ] 


Dr. Warrens: SCP-3165, can you hear me? 
[Again, no response is given.] 


Dr. Warrens: SCP-3165, please cooperate 
with me. Why do you take people's things? Do 
you like shiny things? 


[SCP-3165 signs "pretty girl". Dr. Warrens 
sighs.] 


Dr. Warrens: Yes, | know, thank you — 


[SCP-3165 interrupts her with a grunt. Dr. 
Warrens appears startled and jolts away from 
SCP-3165. SCP-3165 responds by 
repositioning itself next to Dr. Warrens, and 
points to itself, signing "want". It quickly 
resumes stroking her scalp.] 


Dr. Warrens: SCP-3165, do you want to be a 


SCP-402: Obsidian Absorber 


Item #: SCP-402 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-402 is kept in a climate- 
controlled storage locker at Site-41. All known SCP-402-A and all 
water affected by it (currently ~612,000 liters) are kept in a climate- 
controlled freezer at Site-41, with each sample wrapped in barricade 
tape to prevent accidents. SCP-402 and SCP-402-A must be kept 
away from all water, including water vapor, outside of testing. 


Substantial quantities of SCP-402-A may exist outside of 
containment. All unusual drowning or suffocation deaths must be 
investigated for possible SCP-402 involvement. Mobile Task Force 
Tau-4 "Water, Water, Everywhere" is tasked with performing all 
testing, investigations, and retrieval missions associated with 
SCP-402. 


SCP-402-1 is kept in a Type 2 Humanoid Containment Cell at 
Site-59. 


Description: SCP-402 is an irregularly-shaped solid weighing 4kg. 
While SCP-402 is composed largely of obsidian, trace amounts of 
platinum and iridium are present. SCP-402's structure has 
numerous abnormal microscopic gaps similar to those found in 
SCP-148; this, along with SCP-402's anomalous density (22.2g/cm3, 
roughly 8.5 times that of obsidian), suggests that the two materials 
operate under similar principles. 


Any water that comes in contact with SCP-402 (hereby SCP-402-A) 
develops antimemetic properties, effectively rendering it 
imperceptible by any direct means. Witnesses typically interpret this 
as SCP-402 absorbing the water. SCP-402-A can be detected 
through its interaction with other materials, which occurs normally. 
For example, the dissolution of salt in SCP-402-A presents as the 


pretty girl? 


[Suddenly, SCP-3165 reaches forward and 
drags its hand across Dr. Warrens' mouth, 
smearing her lipstick onto its hand and 
scratching her in the process. It wipes its hand 
over its own mouth and leaves a dark red 
mark. Dr. Warrens jumps up, and the guard 
raises his tranquilizer gun. After a gesture from 
Dr. Warrens, the guard fires and hits 
SCP-3165. SCP-3165 collapses moments 
later.] 


<End Log> 


Footnotes 

1. It is currently unknown whether other members of its species 
exist, or if SCP-3165's deformities were brought about by another 
external force. 

2. SCP-3165 has shown no recollection of any group or family unit, 
suggesting that its caretakers left during the earliest stages of 
childhood. 

3. SCP-3165 has come to understand "soft hands" as a command to 
be gentle. 


SCP-3166: You Have No Idea How Alone You Are, 
Garfield 


Item #: SCP-3166 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: The Garfield media franchise is 
to remain active and successful for as long as feasibly possible. 
Funding is to be provided to any Garfield media ventures via 
Foundation front companies present in the comic and film industries. 
Agents embedded within Paws, Inc.! and Universal Uclick2 are to 
place targeted memetic agents in outgoing comic strips, 
encouraging the retention of a sizable Garfield fan-base and 
discouraging Jim Davis from discontinuing Garfield. 


Agents are to monitor individuals at significant risk of attack from 
SCP-3166. In the event of an SCP-3166 manifestation, agents are 
to use supplied frozen lasagna to lure SCP-3166 away from its 
target and dispatch it once out of public view. Any witnesses are 
then to be administered amnestics as appropriate for their level of 
exposure. 


Description: SCP-3166 is a 2.1-meter-tall humanoid entity, 
presumed pataphysical in nature, known to manifest during periods 
when the Garfield media franchise is performing poorly in terms of 
public reception. The exterior layer of SCP-3166's body resembles a 
crudely-made costume of the character Garfield, which field 
inspection has shown to be composed of legitimate cat fur. 
However, analysis of SCP-3166's composition in the field has shown 
that its interior mass is composed entirely out of pasta: specifically, 
lasagna. 


Upon the criteria for its manifestation being met, SCP-3166 will 
appear in the vicinity of a suitable individual, hereafter referred to as 
the target, and move towards their location. Known targets of 
SCP-3166 have included: 


Individuals prominently involved in rival media to the Garfield 
franchise. 

Individuals formerly involved in the production of the Garfield 
comic strip. 

* Individuals involved in parodies of the Garfield franchise. 

* Vocal critics of the Garfield franchise. 

* Garfield creator Jim Davis.3 


Upon reaching its target, SCP-3166 will attempt to inflict bodily harm 
upon them through a mixture of blunt force using nearby objects and 
force-feeding of lasagna, obtained through self-disembowelment. 
During this process, SCP-3166 will vocalize by meowing, purring 
and screeching in the manner of an extremely agitated cat. Lasagna 
outside SCP-3166's mass has proven to be an effective form of bait 
for the entity, as upon seeing it SCP-3166 will abandon its original 
goal and instead attempt to incorporate the pasta into itself. 


SCP-3166 first manifested on 10/23/1989 within the Chicago offices 
of United Media, who were the publishers of the Garfield comic strip 
at the time. Upon manifestation, SCP-3166 wandered around the 
offices in a confused and distressed manner, before indiscriminately 
assaulting any individuals present after security attempted to 
apprehend it. It demanifested twenty minutes later. Foundation 
agents responding to the situation distributed amnestics as 
appropriate. 


Over the course of the following week, similar manifestations took 
place at a number of United Media offices around the country, 
ending on 10/29/1989. Following that date, SCP-3166 altered its 
behaviour to its current form. See the week of Garfield comic strips 
beginning on 10/23/1989 in Supplementary Document 3166-1 
for additional context on pataphysical awakening. Initially, individuals 
involved with production of Garfield comic strips claimed to have no 
memory on working on that week's strips. All researchers working 
on SCP-3166 containment are to familiarize themselves on this 
material. 


Addendum 3166-1: Using tissue samples taken by Agent Muller 

during SCP-3166's most recent manifestation, genetic analysis of 
the meat present within the lasagna has shown it to be genetically 
identical to Garfield creator Jim Davis. The implications of this are 


currently unclear. However, during surveillance of Mr. Davis by 
containment teams, he has complained of severe mosquito bites in 
the night on a number of occasions immediately preceding 
SCP-3166 manifestation. 


Footnotes 

1. Sole owner of the rights toGarfield. 

2. Primary distributors of theGarfieldcomic strip. 

3. This has only occurred on occasions where the negative 
receptionGarfieldwas receiving could be traced back to Mr. Davis' 
management of the franchise. 


SCP-3167: Character Assassin (Or: The Serial Killer) 


Item #: SCP-3167 
Object Class: Keter 


Special Containment Procedures: Containment of SCP-3167 is to 
primarily focus on the seizure of volumes it has entered and 
affected. In addition to containment of affected volumes, individuals 
affected by SCP-3167 are to undergo amnestic therapy for a period 
of time until SCP-3167's perception-warping effects are no longer 
present. 


SCP-3167 is currently at large; Pataphysics Task Force Alpha-4 
("Red Retcon Rangers") are assigned to tracking SCP-3167 through 
narrative space, with the goal of eventual containment or 
apprehension. SCP-3167's recent pattern of behavior indicates a 
special interest in the fantasy genre; as such, Foundation 
webcrawlers have been assigned to monitor discussions of 
contemporary fantasy and horror series for discussions of narrative 
deviations. 


Description: SCP-3167 refers to a pataphysical entity which 
manifests in narratives which share a single, common universe or 
protagonist, such as novel series, canons of short stories, or larger 
mythos works.! SCP-3167 appears to act independently of the 
intentions of other characters within the narrative, apparently 
seeking out a single character for the sole purpose of murdering 
them. 


The appearance of SCP-3167 varies from narrative to narrative, but 
its manifestation is announced by a variation of the phrase "The 
unusually tall figure with a horrible, white grin raised its weapon, 
ready for the kill" appearing. The 'weapon' specified is the most 
variable factor, but is consistent with the setting of the narrative— 
i.e. thaumaturgical items are exclusively used in fantasy stories, 
while lasers are rare outside of science fiction narratives. In the 


space of a paragraph, the targeted character is assaulted by 
SCP-3167, and murdered in a graphic, but narratively logical, 
fashion. Upon the death of the character, SCP-3167 exits the 
narrative, an event announced by a variation of the phrase "the 
deed was done; the figure had collected their latest kill, and turned a 
new page in their life." 


Individuals who perceive narratives in which SCP-3167 manifests 
are affected by a persistent perceptual anomaly in which they 
believe that the character murdered by SCP-3167 is completely 
absent from works which occur at a later point chronologically— i.e. 
a character that dies may appear in a prequel work, but will not 
appear in any sequential works. While individuals affected by 
SCP-3167 can still perceive installments of the work which take 
place after the death of the character SCP-3167 has killed, they will 
insist that it is wildly different from the canonical narrative; however, 
individuals are unable to read passages verbatim from the 
apparently altered works. This anomaly can be counteracted with 
amnestic treatment within the first twenty-four hours of exposure. 


SCP-3167 is only capable of affecting a single instance of the 
narrative it enters— i.e. it can only affect one copy of a book, but the 
anomaly is persistent. Currently, over 5,000 individual volumes have 
been affected by SCP-3167, mostly English-language works. 


Catalog of Affected Narratives: 


Name of Work: The Judas Strain 
Series: Sigma Force Book 4 
Genre: Techno-thriller 

Victim: Monk Kokkalis