| yawned and looked around the room, scratching my neck and 
peering over at the sensors, watching the blips and swatting away 
the little, winged nuisances. Mostly things | could ignore... 


After a moment, though, one of the blips goes too high. The 
machine lets out a soft alarm, and with a sigh, | push myself up and 
open the observation door, walking over to the bed and glancing 
down at the sleeping form there. Nothing that | can see, but to be 
safe... 


| grab the syringe (there are always a full stash of everything | might 
need right next to the bed) and slide it into the IV, depressing it and 
tossing it into the bin. | walk back and look down at her, smiling, 
then... 


Her lips are moving. | can almost make out what they're saying? 
Avoid Cameras? Abba Concierto? Abra Ka- 


And then | died. 
Solved 


Round Two: Scantron 


Oh, oh man. | can't believe that worked. Do you think they even saw 
anyone take their tickets? Probably not. Shit, stop giggling man! 
You're sounding like your girlfriend. Let's just hope... aw, fuck. 
Nosebleed seats. Eh, it's not like it's setting us back anything. 


...fuck. Fuck. The fuck was that shit? We aren't paying this guy ten 
mil a year to hit easy pop-ups. | don't even know what's going on. 
You think maybe they could have spared a few funds from the 
renovation to get some decent fucking players, right? | mean, we 
have enough medieval stuff in that one guy in left field, the one with 
the mustache. 


Just... well, hey, it's most of the way over. We're not losing too 
badly, right? And their relief pitcher, what's his name, he's kinda 
shitty, so we have a shot. Oh, look, s'pose we should stand up and 
sing along. | always loved this song... 


Fuck, this is tingly, | don't kn- 
And then | died. 
Solved 


Round Three: Vilemich 


Damn this heat! This isn't what | signed up for at all. | can't believe 


they sent us down to this God-forsaken land. I'm getting sick of the 
Austrians all over the place. It would be nice just to see a few more 
Englishmen around here to make things feel more like home. Oh 
well, just another day of watching over platoons. At least | managed 
to land an easy gig! All | have to do is sit up on this rooftop, out of 
sight, out of mind for all these damn gun toting soldiers. 


Finally some action! And lucky me, all | have to do is sit up here and 
start picking off any threats | find. Look at those boys go! Those new 
guns are really clearing the way for our boys! For the Queen! 


Each man is moving professionally, coordinated through the small 
village. These small militia might not be well equipped, but orders 
from the top are to put them down before they can gain enough 
support and man power to become a threat. | guess | can respect 
nipping it in the bud, but it's almost too easy. Just look how securely 
those Tommys are getting through this little place! Alright, time to 
buckle down and keep an eye out for them.... 


WHAT IN THE HELL IS GOING ON? Damnit, this is turning bad 
quick! | can't even see any return fire! One, two... five men down 
already at this one stupid little hut! What the fuck! Damnit, | can't see 
anything! Shit, shit, SHIT! Where are they? GOD DAMNIT the whole 
damned platoon is going down! Son of a bitch! Ah fuck, somebody is 
coming out of the hut... Line up the sights... | don't know how you 
took out a whole platoon but you're about to go down mother fucker. 
He is looking around at the dead bodies now. All | need is a clean 
shot at his head. He comes out into the open; heart is racing; sights 
are lined up; a clean shot to the head, wait, what's wrong with his 
face? No matter; | slowly squeeze the trigger. 


And then | died. 
Solved 


Round Four: anqxyr 


| am running, running faster than I've ever run before. Tunnels of the 
sewer around me are lightness, all alike, and some part of me 
worries for a moment that | will get lost here. | can hear the blood 


pulsing, pounding in my ears, and feel the presence of the beast 
behind me, chasing me. 


The beast came for us when we were resting, eating. It killed three, 
maybe four, before the rest came to their senses and started to run. 
To be honest, we expected it to happen, eventually. There were 
debates, and proposals of traps and early warning system, build 
from scraps and garbage. But none of it matters now. 


| can see the outline of another tunnel ahead of me. | dive into the 
opening and continue to run for half a minute more, then stop. | can 
see every detail of every brick in the wall before me, edges sharp, 
gleaming in the dark, as if they are laughing at me. Dead end. | turn 
around, mortified. 


The beast enters the tunnel, blocking the only way out. | look in its 
eyes. They are focused on me, not blinking, and | see the hunger 
and the fire of hunt in them. Before | can do anything, it comes to 
me, at me. For a brief moment | think about a life | had before, 
normal life, with joy and purpose, not filled with fear and disgust, not 
focused on mere survival. Then the beast closes its jaws on my 
throat. | try to scream in pain and terror, but all that comes out is a 
high-pitched squeak. 


And then | died. 


Solved 


Round Five: Uncandescent 


“I’m disappointed in you Richie.” His voice wavered and bubbled on 
the edge of my consciousness. The world was spinning, tilting every 
which way. | was going to be sick. 


“Very disappointed.” 


A burst of pain, terrible pain, right in the back of my head. Am | 
dead? Dying? 


No, still alive, still breathing. 


It shouldn’t hurt to breathe. 
“| thought we were friends, you and |.” 


Stay conscious. Focus on something, anything, anything other than 
the pain. It’s dark, but—there, on the ground, in red, it's— 


Another wave of nausea. It was a tooth. My tooth. 


“But then you went and stabbed me in the back. Is that how you 
treat your friends, Richie?” 


“Les PIG Tava 


This wasn't fair. They’d hit me too much, too long. Words were hard 
now. 


“What? You didn’t what? C’mon, spit it out!” A slap on the back, 
hard. Blood flew from my mouth. The ropes dug into my arms. 


“| didn’t mean to...” It came out blubbery, but | was beyond caring. 


“You didn’t mean to spend my money?” He reached forward and 
grabbed my shoulders. “You didn’t mean to splurge it all on a fancy 
new car?” A heavy smack and suddenly my cheek was pressed 
against the floor. 


Suddenly something broke inside. Hot streaks trailed down my 
cheeks, and this time it wasn’t blood. 


“Please... Please just... just stop.” | begged. 


“No. You know what Richie, I’m not gonna stop. You’ve fucked up 
one too many times.” A click cut through the ringing in my ears. “No 
more excuses.” 


“No!” | yelled. “Il can pay you back! | know people! | have something 
that can stop this!” 


“You're right. Life insurance.” 


And then | died. 


Unsolved 


Round Six: Uncandescent 


It’s true what they say, you know. You never appreciate what you 
have until it’s gone. 


Like the sun. No one ever stops and goes “Gee, I’m sure glad that 
the sun is there!” It’s always going to be there. And if you’ve seen it 
once, you've seen it a million times. It gets you nice and toasty on 
warm summer days, but for the rest of the time there’s central 
heating. And central heating doesn’t shine in your eyes, or make 
your skin flake off, or hang you with the big C. But now... now | 
regret every second | didn’t spend just standing outside, just soaking 
it all up. Maybe then I’d have some extra for times like this. 


And people. Never thought I'd give a crap about people. Always in 
your face with their whining and their problems and their baggage 
and exactly everything about themselves that you couldn’t care less 
about. Right now, I’d give my left arm just to see someone’s face. | 
don’t even care if they’re deaf and mute, | just want to know that 
someone else exists. | just want to... | guess | just want to know that 
the world really happened. That | didn’t just make it all up, you 
know? 


No, that’s stupid. I’m the stupid one here, really. Traipsing around, 
looking for adventure, and | wind up— 


OW! Wow! Did | mention antibiotics yet? Because | really miss 
antibiotics. Wowee, antibiotics. | haven’t been able to look at my leg 
in—days, maybe? | don’t know. No sun, no time, no goddamn 
difference. The color makes me sick, and | don’t think | have 
anything left to puke up. And on top of that— 


Sorry, I... | tripped. You have to really watch your feet, cause... 
|... don’t think I’m gonna make it. 
Actually... | know I’m not gonna make it. 


| think | might have always known. 


Is it wrong that | feel better now? 


Cause | do. | feel like... like | could snatch up every criminal on the 
planet. And map out the insides of every abandoned building in the 
world. It'll take a while, but I’m sure I'll have plenty of time, you 
know? Where I’m going, | mean. | wonder what it'll be like. At least | 
know it can’t be worse than here... 


And then | died. 


Solved 


Round Seven: Scantron 


You know, once you get used to the stench, this place is pretty 
great. Functional heating, still has electricity, full fridge and pantry. 
I'm almost thinking "What's the catch?", you know, seeing as how 
nobody's moved in yet. I'm not normally accustomed to living 
arrangements this nice, given my lifestyle... stayed up all night 
playing video games to celebrate the find. Neighbors are probably 
wondering why the lights are still on... | should really go to bed. Ah, 
here's the bedroom. 


Hm. Now, that would be the smell, wouldn't it. Let me just... yeah, 
he's dead. Well. I'll just look for any... yeah, they're dead too. | 
wonder what killed 'em... they're so pale. | should probably leave 
now, no good just standing around. 


Ow! Fuck! Why can't | walk? I... ugh, thirsty... 
And then | died. 


Unsolved 


Round Eight: Scantron 


| yawn and look out at the road in front of me... the yellow dividing 
lines come into existence in my headlights, rush past me, and 
dissolve into the darkness. | yawn again. My eyelids slip closed and 
then snap back open. "Hey Jo?" No response. | prod her. 


She stirs, then stretches a bit in the seat beside me. A sleepy "Yeah 
hon?" escapes her mouth. 


"Could we, uh..." | yawn even harder and blink my eyes. "Could you 
get me s'more coffee?" 


She curls up back into a ball in the passenger seat. She mutters, 
"We don't have any more... you drank it. We should just pull over for 
the night." 


My eyelids are so heavy. | drift out of my lane a little, but | swerve 
back in and blink rapidly to wake myself up. "No, no, we have to get 
to your parents’ house by six." 


"Mm-hmm..." She's back to sleep already. Lucky her... | would have 
her take my place, but she had the last shift. It's my turn right now. 


| refocus my attention on the road in front of me. | let out a massive 
yawn, my mouth going wide enough to strain the jaw. | massage my 
chin as | talk out loud to myself. "There's no-one else on this road 
right now... it's supposed to be straight. | could rest my eyes a bit..." 
| stroke Jo's hair a bit and close my eyes- 


| wake up with a start, finding my weight pressed on my right leg, my 
foot squeezing the gas pedal. Jo is screaming. The radio is 
screaming. In my groggy panic, | just floor it harder... 


And then | died. 
Solved 


Round Nine: Grug16 
"Come on, Brad," | said. "Why do you have to be such a freakin' 
chicken?" 


The other guys laughed. It was clear nobody liked my younger 
brother. Who would? The little guy never leaves the house. He says 
he's scared of “Monsters” and “Bad Guys”. He watches too many 
cartoons. Still, | had to take him with me. If a little mischief night fun 
isn't going to make him man up, nothing else will. 


along, and personnel are to accept their choice of song. SCP-784-1 
will begin to fall unconscious as the night progresses. Unconscious 
instances of SCP-784-1 will be removed to nearby houses by other 
instances, and personnel are not to interfere with this process. Any 
interference with the actions of SCP-784-1 may trigger a violent 
response, and will wake all instances of SCP-784-1. 


Instances of SCP-784-1 not affected by procedure 784-C are to be 
silently incapacitated when no longer visible from the gates of the 
community, and returned after all other instances of SCP-784-1 
have re-entered SCP-784. 


In the event that procedure 784-C fails, Foundation personnel are to 
release an aerosolized sleeping gas. Foundation personnel are to 
restrain instances of SCP-784-1 until the gas takes effect, at which 
time all instances are to be returned to SCP-784. Standard cover 


story 139 ("Drunken Football") is to be used to respond to any 
concerns expressed by nearby residents. 


Addendum: 


Action taken by personnel 
Agent Paulsen, on patrol within 
SCP-784, wished a nearby 
instance of SCP-784-1 "Happy 
holidays". 


Agent Matthews sang the 
incorrect verse of 'Silent Night’ 
while on night patrol within 
SCP-784. 


Action taken by SCP-784-1 
Approximately eight instances of 
SCP-784-1 surrounded Paulsen, 
who was unable to escape. 
Paulsen was dragged into a 
nearby home. 

Multiple instances of SCP-784-1 
incapacitated Matthews non- 
violently using a nearby string of 
decorative lights. Attempted 
intervention by Agent Sanderson 
led to the involvement of a large 
crowd of SCP-784-1, which 
overwhelmed both agents. 
Matthews and Sanderson were 
dragged into a nearby home, after 
which personnel reported hearing 
the sound of Christmas carols 
from within the home for several 


So we strolled down Fairside Road. Most of the houses had their 
decorations up already, shriveled ghosts and plastic witches 
everywhere. They looked really freaky in the darkness. Brad stayed 
close to me as Mickey, Jun, and Rob hovered around and tossed 
insults. 


“Snot nose” 
“Fatass” 
“Nerd virgin.” 


“Stop it!” yelled Brad. 


“Alright, guys. Let's get that house first,” | said, trying to distract 
them. Old Lady Carter's place. | figured she'd be too deaf to notice 
us until we were done. Mickey pulled out the four dozen eggs he 
brought, handing three cartons to Jun while he opened the last. After 
tossing a few, | remembered Brad was with us. | held out an egg in 
my hand. “Come on, Brad. Think of it like a... a magic spell.” | put on 
my best big bro face for him. After a second of hesitation, he nods, 
and took the egg. He wound up and threw. 


A single window pane broke clear of the frame, and we heard the 
wonderful sound of dishes and silverware falling over inside. That's 
a lot of payoff for one egg. Brad looked at me in disbelief, and then 
smiled. “That wasn't so bad, was it?” | said. The other guys started 
clapping. | was more proud of him than | had been in a long time. 
Then the clapping abruptly stopped, and the screaming started. 


And then | died. 


Solved 


Round Ten: GideonSmith08 
“Shit, shit, shit, shit...” 


Knocking a neglected glass of mystery juice over, | pulled Jeremy in 
close, soaking myself in his tears and in the unknown fluid. 
Earthquakes, while pretty common, are always a constant fear. But | 
guess that’s to be expected in LA; an occasional test of acuity at 9 


PM to “shake up” life a little, pardon the pun, isn’t THAT bad. 


Holding him close, my unconditioned paternal instincts kicked in. 
The last decade’s been... shit: Faulty brakes took my parents, the 
Big C took my Katherine, the land-lord’s taking our shitty home in a 
few weeks, and even Mother Nature’s against us today. But, staying 
true to all of those damned Full House episodes and Disney films | 
think we used to watch, | guess I’m just giving giving the kid 
someone to depend on, y’know? 


“Shhhhh... That’s it. Wasn’t so bad, was it?”