When amounts greater than 500,000 L of SCP-3977 are present in 
the same immediate location, a broadcast signal in the 124 MHz 
range will emanate from the approximate center of the SCP-3977 
mass. This signal contains information that is readily received by 
any television equipped to receive over-the-air transmissions. 
Broadcasts produced by SCP-3977 vary greatly depending on the 
amount of the substance present, ranging from a simple 
reproduction of an existing commercial for Hawaiian Punch, to a 
sophisticated production equivalent to a major studio motion picture 
production. 


All SCP-3977 broadcasts feature the "Punchy" brand mascot 
prominently, along with the ancillary "Oaf" character in a typically 
less prominent role. In some broadcasts, actors closely resembling 
identifiable individuals in the film industry are present. These have 
been established to be simulated appearances. 


Addendum 3977.1 - Broadcast 1, approx. 500,000 L - 650,000 L 


When an amount of SCP-3977 between 500,000 L and 650,000 L is 
present, the following broadcast occurs: 


Title: How About a Nice Hawaiian Punch? 


Synopsis: An exact replica of a 1962 advertisement for Hawaiian 
Punch. Punchy asks Oaf if he desires a "nice Hawaiian Punch." 
Upon Oaf's affirmative response, Punchy punches Oaf in the face, 
before walking on and leaning against an oversized can of Hawaiian 
Punch. 


Contextual Analysis: No deeper context present, beyond an 
intended desire to cause the viewer to associate positive humorous 
feelings with the consumption of Hawaiian Punch. 


Addendum 3977.2 - Broadcast 2, approx. 650,000 L - 800,000 L 


When an amount of SCP-3977 between 650,000 L and 800,000 L is 
present, the following broadcast occurs: 


Title: The Life and Strange Surprising Adventures of Punchy of 
Hawaii, Mariner 


Synopsis: This broadcast consists of one hour and fifteen minute 
narrative, animated in the same style as "How About a Nice 
Hawaiian Punch?". The storyline appears to be a condensed version 
of the 1954 film Robinson Crusoe. Punchy is marooned on a tropical 
island after a shipwreck, and spends time learning to survive in his 
new environment before observing what appear to be cannibals 
visiting the island. Punchy rescues a captive of the cannibals, Oaf, 
and teaches him English and the tenets of Christianity, punctuating 
his lessons with occasional punches to Oaf's face. After an 
extended period of time surviving on the island, Punchy and Oaf are 
rescued after aiding the victims of a ship's mutiny who are to be 
marooned as well. 


Contextual Analysis: This represents development of a more 
complex narrative than Broadcast 1, with a definable, traditional 
story, and substantial dialogue for both Punchy and Oaf. Punchy's 
aggression is further explored, being the result largely of frustration 
with his circumstances and the ongoing stress of surviving in a 
secluded and uncertain habitat. 


Addendum 3977.3 - Broadcast 3, approx. 800,000 L - 875,000 L 


When an amount of SCP-3977 between 800,000 L and 875,000 L is 
present, the following broadcast occurs: 


Title: The Last Temptation of Punchy 


Synopsis: The narrative is presented as a live action film, utilizing 
photography methods similar in appearance to those of the late 
1980s. The characters of Punchy and Oaf are animated, with human 
actors playing all other roles. Punchy plays the central role in a 
depiction of the life of Jesus Christ, while Oaf portrays his disciple 
Judas Iscariot. In much the same manner as the 1988 film The Last 
Temptation of Christ, Punchy's portrayal of Jesus is as a reluctant 
messianic figure, deeply conflicted about his duty to God and 


SCP-516: Intelligent Tank 


Item #: SCP-516 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-516 may be kept in an 
Anomalous Vehicle Containment Bay. Routine vehicle 
maintenance should be carried out on a bi-weekly basis. SCP-516 is 
not to be provided with fuel or ammunition except under controlled 
testing circumstances. Following Incident 516-1A, no personnel with 
a history of military service should be assigned to SCP-516. 


Description: SCP-516 is a standard model T-55 main battle tank. 
Records indicate it was manufactured in 19 , at Plant, 
Kharkiv, Ukrainian SSR, and that it had a normal period of service in 
the armed forces of . It exhibits wear and tear consistent with 
its age. 


The only part of SCP-516 which is known to exhibit anomalous 
properties is its main armament (presently a 100mm D10 tank gun) 
and turret assembly, from here designated as SCP-516-1. However, 
as SCP-516-1 has been replaced several times throughout 
SCP-516's service life without any apparent effects, its anomalous 
properties seem to be inherent to SCP-516. 


When loaded with compatible 100mm ammunition SCP-516-1 
exhibits a limited degree of autonomy. When an entity attempts to 
damage SCP-516, SCP-516-1 will track and fire on it if it is 
physically possible to neutralise the threat, regardless of whether 
SCP-516 is crewed. It will not respond to threats outside its range or 
traverse, such as aircraft. This phenomenon only occurs if the entity 
possesses reasonable means to damage SCP-516; for example, 
SCP-516-1 will not fire on a person attempting to attack SCP-516 
with their fists. 


SCP-516-1 may be operated manually, but is selective about its 


mankind. Oaf serves as a trusted advisor to Punchy, who is 
nonetheless persuaded by Punchy himself to turn him over willingly 
to the Roman authorities in Jerusalem. 


Punchy is crucified after being flogged and marched to Golgotha, 
where he is visited by an angelic figure, who informs him that he is 
not in fact the Messiah and is free to live a normal life. The narrative 
shifts to an extended 45 minute montage of Punchy offering various 
citizens of Jerusalem a drink that resembles Hawaiian Punch, only 
to punch them in the face upon accepting the offer. Oaf returns to 
visit Punchy, and informs him that he has been deceived, and is in 
fact the Messiah. Oaf mournfully asks Punchy to punch him in the 
face, which Punchy does reluctantly. Immediately upon punching 
Oaf, Punchy finds himself back on his cross, bleeding and dying. 
The broadcast closes upon Punchy triumphantly looking to the 
heavens and shouting "who wants a nice Hawaiian Punch." 


Contextual Analysis: The complexity of the narrative increases once 
more, moving beyond the comparatively simple storytelling of 
Robinson Crusoe and embracing the more controversial 
philosophical undertones of The Last Temptation of Christ. 
Ironically, Oaf serves as the more Christlike figure in this narrative, 
though Punchy's violence is for the most part presented as more of 
an inescapable character flaw, rather than a simple emotional 
reaction to outside factors. 


Addendum 3977.4 - Broadcast 4, approx. 875,000 L - 1,000,000 L 


When an amount of SCP-3977 between 875,000 L and 1,000,000 L 
is present, the following broadcast occurs: 


Title: The Last Embers, Aloha 'Oe 


Synopsis: A live action narrative, featuring versions of Punchy and 
Oaf animated in a far more sophisticated style than previous 
iterations. Punchy portrays a wheelchair-bound and dying Queen 
Lili'uokalani of Hawaii at the end of her life, confined to her private 
residence in Honolulu and forced to witness the dominance of her 
former realm by foreign parties. Oaf portrays her unnamed, final 
royal retainer. These are the only two characters present in the 
narrative. 


The broadcast consists primarily of Lili'uokalani explaining her 
desire to lead a violent rebellion against the American authorities 
and reimpose rule by the people of Hawaii, and being rebuffed by 
Oaf, explaining at various turns the futility of such a struggle and the 
suffering it would inevitably bring her people. The narrative, 
consisting almost entirely of a conversation between these two 
characters, touches upon themes of aging and frailty, imperialism, 
the duty of a monarch to lead her people even in defeat, and 
culminates in Lili'uokalani detailing her regret at living out her life 
instead of being killed resisting the annexation of the Hawaiian 
Islands. Her last line as the film closes is "better to stain them red 
than to leave no trace, as water." 


Contextual Analysis: This is the first broadcast which is not based 
upon any known intellectual property. While the structure of the 
narrative is not presented in as traditional a format as previous 
broadcasts, the conversation does follow certain principles of 
conflict, rising action, climax, and denouement. The violence of 
Punchy, previously expressed directly, is now sublimated into a 
metaphorical desire for direct action and resistance against an 
oppressive, outside force. Oaf once again serves as a natural 
counterpoint to the presence of Punchy. 


Addendum 3977.5 - Broadcast 5, approx. 1,000,000 L - 
1,150,000 L 


When an amount of SCP-3977 between 1,000,000 L and 
1,150,000 L is present, the following broadcast occurs: 


Title: The Province of God 


Synopsis: Punchy and Oaf are presented in this broadcast as living 
beings, resembling humans with features distorted in a manner 
analogous to their prior cartoon forms. The Province of God is 
roughly separated into three acts. 


Act One consists of Punchy (no character name is discernible) 
pursuing a desperate life of crime in Dakar as a low-level soldier for 
a drug cartel operation engaged in a war for control of the city's 
slums with a rival organization. Punchy's preferred method of 
execution of rivals is to beat them to death with his bare hands, a 


practice which earns him fear and respect on the streets, but 
secretly traumatizes him. He goes home each night to his family, 
consisting of his wife and three children, all played by Oaf. He barely 
communicates with Wife-Oaf, leading her to increasing depression 
and neglect of the three Child-Oafs. All members of the household 
must contend with Punchy's persistent night terrors. Act One closes 
as Punchy is sent on a job to dispatch a local dealer, only to 
discover after he's finished that he has murdered the city's corrupt 
chief of police. 


Act Two is far more abstract than the preceding narrative. Punchy 
attempts to throw himself down a well and drown, rather than face 
the consequences of murdering a powerful and violent political 
figure. Instead of drowning, however, Punchy sinks deep into the 
well, the water turning red as disembodied hands grasp at him from 
all directions. Punchy continues to sink until falling onto a white 
marble floor, gasping and stained red from the water of the well. 
Punchy is addressed by a gigantic figure, played by Oaf, stating that 
he is the God of Punchy's World. Punchy asks if he is being judged 
before being sent to Hell, and Oaf responds by ridiculing the idea of 
sin. Oaf informs Punchy that he is being sent back to "perfect his 
form." Punchy is pulled back up through the well. Act Two concludes 
as Punchy is suddenly transported to a closet in the bedroom of his 
cartel boss, from which Punchy bursts out and strangles the man in 
an extended, five minute sequence. 


Act Three is dedicated entirely to the excesses of Punchy, now in 
functional control of the Dakar underworld. Punchy has constructed 
a bizarre palace-like structure, built around a series of canals and 
gutters, which carry an unidentified red fluid into and out of the 
opulent dwelling. Punchy holds sway over a group of dozens of 
young people (all played by Oaf), and commands greater and 
greater acts of debasement and humiliation among them, eventually 
culminating in a violent orgy during which Punchy has flashbacks of 
beating several men to death during his past life. Punchy ingests an 
unknown substance and begins seeing more elaborate visions, 
witnessing his own execution by a firing squad of God-Oafs. The 
visions also depict his family, forgotten by Punchy, starving and 
living a degrading existence on the streets. In an attempt to make 
the visions cease, Punchy methodically severs each finger on his 


right hand with a filet knife, screaming to himself that the pain will 
drive everything else away. Upon severing his thumb, God-Oaf 
reappears to him, clapping. The fingers on Punchy's hand are 
restored to him by God-Oaf, and the final camera shot follows a 
stream of red fluid, flowing out from the house and down into a river 
below, meandering into the larger city. 


Contextual Analysis: This broadcast continues the development of 
independent storytelling, and presents a difference in roles between 
Punchy and Oaf. Punchy, defined by his violence, is now thrust back 
into a more visceral and literal form of it, but apparently at the 
direction, in multiple forms, of Oaf. Unlike previous narratives, very 
little from this broadcast can be interpreted, in a manner direct or 
oblique, as enjoining the viewer to purchase and consume Hawaiian 
Punch. 


SCP-3978: The World Is Going Away 


SCP-3978 (GRU file photo) 


Item #: SCP-3978 
Object Class: Safe Neutralised 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3978 resides in a 
standard humanoid containment cell at Site- . To prevent further 
self-injury, it has been restrained to a bed and requires feeding by 
hand. Medical equipment for rapid sedation and the provision of 
intravenous nutrition is to be utilised if SCP-3978 shows signs of 
food refusal. Access to SCP-3978's containment chamber is 
restricted to personnel with Foundation Intelligence Agency 
clearance. 


A regimen of antipsychotics is administered to SCP-3978 on a daily 
basis. With the further refinement of Protocol BATAKIN, 
psychotropic medications should only be administered as per this 
protocol or when urgent sedation is required. SCP-3978 is to be 
monitored by electroencephalography at all times and connected to 
IV infusion pumps, with other Protocol BATAKIN equipment to be 
used when information is required. 


All output from SCP-3978, whether verbal, written, gestural, or 
gathered by Protocol BATAKIN, should be logged and forwarded to 
the Intelligence Agency, marked for review by ORIA and GRU 
Division 'P' surveillance teams. Staff assigned to SCP-3978 should 
receive an Agency briefing and be prepared to accommodate 
specific requests from Agency staff with the appropriate clearances. 


Description: SCP-3978 is an anomalous male human of Azeri 
descent, approximately 50 years of age. It has all its sensory inputs 
(visual, tactile, auditory, olfactory and gustatory, as well as other 
sensory modalities) replaced by those being experienced by another 
individual (designated SCP-3978-1). Initially, SCP-3978-1 was 


Mehdi Bazargan, former head of the ORIA. After Chairman 
Bazargan's death in 1995, SCP-3978-1 became Mohammad 
Khatami, later succeeded by [DATA EXPUNGED], the current 
SCP-3978-1. SCP-3978 is unable to perceive any stimuli in its local 
environment, and therefore spends much of its time attempting to 
respond to stimuli perceived by SCP-3978-1. Prior to the permanent 
restraint of SCP-3978, this resulted in numerous falls and collisions, 
frequently resulting in accidental injuries due to lack of an 
appropriate pain stimulus. 


SCP-3978 has a degree of awareness of its condition, and 
frequently gives verbal or written summaries! of SCP-3978-1's 
activities, which have been steadily declining in coherence and 
quality. At other times, it reports distress at its current situation, and 
makes references to its identity as 'Nazar Bayramov' and various 
aspects of its life prior to obtaining its anomalous properties@. Given 
SCP-3978's properties, no communication with SCP-3978 has been 
achieved. There is no evidence that SCP-3978-1 is aware of the 
existence of SCP-3978, and information security therefore precludes 
communication with SCP-3978 via SCP-3978-1.