Dr. Underwood: Sorry SCP-3970, | need to 
go. It's going to be a busy day for you and me. 


<End Log> 


Note: We have approval. The final step of 
Project 3970-8 is to commence immediately. 
-Site Director McKnight 


+Input Level 4/3970 Credentials 
ACCESS GRANTED 


Item #: SCP-3970 
Object Class: Thaumiel 


Special Containment Procedures: All information 
delivered to SCP-3970 is to be under the pretense that it 
is still undergoing training procedures. Under no 
circumstances is SCP-3970 to be told any items 
contained within Site-211 are anomalous in nature. 
SCP-3970 is not to manipulate any part of Site-211 
outside of Level 3 or higher clearance areas. 


All information below Level 2 clearance must cite that the 
influence of SCP-3970 extends to Unit-01 only. 
Clearance Level 2 and lower personnel are not to directly 
access or view video feed of Site-211 containment 
chambers. Any personnel found violating this protocol 
are to be administered Class-B amnestics as necessary. 


Unit-01 is to be guarded and patrolled by Clearance 
Level 3 security personnel. Entrance to Unit-01 is 
forbidden without permission of the Site Director. 


SCP-3970 is to be given a psychological evaluation 
every month. 


Description: SCP-3970 is the designation for Site-211, 
located in , Washington. The original structure of 
SCP-3970 has been fully integrated into Site-211, and is 
known as Unit-01. 


SCP-3970 is sapient, and has been shown to have a 
nearly photographic memory. SCP-3970 is extremely 
cooperative, and has shown an intense desire to aid the 
Foundation. There have been no recorded instances of 
SCP-3970 harming Foundation personnel, intentionally 
or otherwise. Despite the desire of SCP-3970 to help the 
Foundation, SCP-3970 has demonstrated acute anxiety 
towards the containment of anomalous objects. 
However, SCP-3970 is not able to differentiate between 
normal and anomalous properties, unless said properties 
are pointed out. 


SCP-3970 has complete mechanical control over its 
entire structure, and the influence of SCP-3970 spreads 
to any permanent addition made to its structure. There is 
no known limit to this ability, and the entirety of Site-211 
is currently under the control of SCP-3970. SCP-3970 
has shown no loss of effectiveness despite having 
dimensions roughly 30 times larger than it had upon 
discovery, and has demonstrated the ability to perform 
multiple tasks at once without the loss of efficiency. 


The only method of direct communication with SCP-3970 
is through the blackboards present in the classrooms of 
its original structure, now located in Unit-01. All attempts 
to install additional blackboards and invent other 
communication mediums have failed. 


Addendum-3970-8: Project Report 


SCP-515: Sleeper 


Item #: SCP-515 
Object Class: Keter 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-515 is to be kept entirely 
manacled to his sleeping quarters to the point of near-total 
immobility. If SCP-515's enclosure is seen to be empty, top priority 
must be placed on immediate recapture. Locomotion or simple 
twitch-response behavior exhibited by SCP-515 is to be noted and 
reported to research and emergency staff. 


If SCP-515's legs or arms are in working order, they must be broken 
immediately to minimize his sleepwalking speed in the event of 
escape [see Addendum 515-01]; the neck, however, cannot be 
broken, due to the risk of death [see Addendum 515-02]. Instead, it 
must be held immobile by a brace covering up to the chin and down 
to the shoulders. Amputation and severing the motor nerves of the 
limbs are also not recommended, due to similar risks, and all muscle 
relaxants tested thus far have resulted in convulsive reactions and 
as such should not be administered. Restraints are not to be 
unfastened at any time for any reason, and the room is not to be 
opened for anything but standard research purposes unless 
emergency conditions require it. Maintenance crews and D-class are 
also to be kept away from the enclosure unless otherwise noted. 


Description: SCP-515 is presently a Caucasian male of the 
approximate age of 14; no applicable birth certificate has yet been 
found, so all relevant personal information is the product of 
hypotheses and the subject of guesswork. His basal metabolic rate 
is comparable to that of a blue whale or a mammal of greater size, 
but mass is slightly below average for humans of similar ages. 


Despite ignorance of all other bodily needs, and despite attempted 
interference on the part of researchers, SCP-515 has yet to be 
observed in a state of consciousness apart from Stage N3 


O5- 


Project 3970-8 was an astounding success. 
The Tile-Array system is completely functional 
in all containment chambers and heavy 
containment areas. Transferable electricity- 
based security checkpoints have passed 
testing, so no more personnel getting fried for 
walking too slowly. SCP-3970 shows continual 
improvement in the handling of its tasks, and 
has become extremely efficient in carrying out 
containment procedures. 


| told you this one would be different. After all, 
when have | ever let you down? Let's get a 
drink sometime, on me. 


Site Director McKnight 


SCP-3972: "Ken Burns Presents: SCP-3972" 


Item #: SCP-3972 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: Researcher Alyx Romana’s film 
is currently the only non-infohazardous method of storing 
information relating to SCP-3972’s effect. The film is to be screened 
to all members of Mobile Task Forces assigned to investigations of 
both Vytas Andressen’s disappearance and the Slovenian National 
Society for the Preservation of Vakarine’s Works, the group that has 
claimed responsibility for SCP-3972. 


Biographical information regarding Vytas Andressen is to be deleted 
from Foundation computers after being stored in three redundant 
offices available only to personnel immune to Category Lambda-7 
infohazardous effect with Level 3972-1 clearance. 


Personnel are not to take screenshots of, extract portions of, or 
transcribe the film below without authorization from a Site Director. 


Researcher Romana is to update the below film in the event new 
information regarding SCP-3972 must be communicated to 
Foundation personnel. Instructional classes in video editing were 
requested by Researcher Romana and approved by Human 
Resources. 


Description: See film. 
+ Show transcript [WARNING - 
INFOHAZARDOUS EFFECTS ON FOUNDATION PERSONNEL APPLY] 


This film is currently the only non- 
infohazardous method of storing information 
relating to SCP-3972’s effect. 


SCP-3972 is a series of effects relating to 
photographic images and biographical 
information of former Foundation Attaché for 
Baltic Affairs Vytas Andressen. Nearly all 
photographic images of and true information 
regarding Andressen! carries a Category 
Lambda-7 infohazardous effect. This effect 
produces acute nausea and swelling of the 
lymph nodes in 99.8% of tested current and 
former Foundation personnel, but has not 
affected any tested non-Foundation persons in 
719 clinical trials. 


The infohazard impacting this information is 
neutralized by presenting the information ina 
film or digital video file that meets the following 
eight content requirements: 


1. No on-screen text must appear before 
the words “A FLORENTINE FILM.”2 

2. Musical recordings created before 1930 
and meeting standards Foundation 
researchers are currently unable to 
define must be present throughout the 
entire film. As a 1920 Victor recording of 
Gabriella Besanzoni singing a selection 
from Verdi's ‘Il Trovatore’ was found to 
meet these requirements, it is used in 
this film and can currently be heard. 

3. No words must be spoken in the film 
before the reading a specific quote by 
Oscar Milosz, a French-Lithuanian poet 
who lived from 1877 to 1939. The quote 
may be read in English, French, or 
Lithuanian. 

4. On-screen text which includes “KEN 
BURNS PRESENTS:” followed by a title 
that may vary must appear. The title 
‘SCP-3972’ was selected for 
convenience. 


5. Portions of entirely black screen lasting 
five seconds or less [MISSING IN 
VIDEO: are allowed.] 

6. Only photographs and videos taken 
within the legal boundaries of modern- 
day Lithuania may appear. This includes 
the five photographs that constitute the 
complete remaining photographic record 
of Vytas Andressen. 

7. A filmed portion depicting an individual 
with a degree from an accredited 
university speaking about SCP-3972’s 
effects must appear and must contain a 
genuine emotional response from the 
individual depicted. The words spoken in 
this filmed segment must not have been 
decided upon or scripted beforehand. 

8. A credits sequence must appear which 
contains the names of all SCP 
Foundation personnel who assembled 
the film and the phrase ‘Special Thanks 
to the Slovenian National Society for the 
Preservation of Vakariné’s Works.’ 


Requirements 7 and 8 will be met later in this 
film. 


Vytas Andressen, pictured here, was the 
Foundation Attaché for Baltic Affairs from 1998 
to May 11, 2017, when he disappeared at age 
59. Simultaneous with his disappearance, all 
photographs of Andressen disappeared from 
both physical and digital storage worldwide, 
and extant biographical information about him 
gained SCP-3972’s infohazardous effect. 


The photographs pictured here, the quote by 
Oscar Milosz, a note, and a complex list of 

requirements that were eventually reduced to 
the eight listed previously, were anonymously 


delivered via post to Foundation diplomatic 
offices in Brussels on June 1, 2017. 


Foundation infohazard detection alerted on- 
site personnel to the presence of low-level 
Category Lambda-7 Infohazardous Effect on 
the materials. The Foundation forwarded the 
information to a previously determined to be 
immune group of researchers, including 
myself, by June 3. 


The included note was confiscated by 
employees of the O5 Commission Internal 
Affairs Bureau before delivery to our research 
team. The only information they have currently 
provided is that in the note, the Slovenian 
National Society for the Preservation of 
Vakarine’s Works claims responsibility for 
Andressen’s disappearance and presented 
ransom demands. 


No information regarding the Society is 
available to this research team, and we have 
been assured that hostage negotiations and 
anti-Society activity are the purview of Mobile 
Task Forces who will have this film screened 
for them. 


That is the extent of the information we have 
been asked to make available on the 
Foundation database at this time. The filmed 
portion from requirement 7 and the credits 
sequence from requirement 8 follow. 


“This is Researcher Alyx Romana 
making the 51st attempt at an 
SCP-3972-compliant recording. So. 
From all I’ve gleaned from the 
exceedingly vague instructions given 
to me by both internal affairs and the 
documentation provided, there’s 


supposed to be some sort of talking 
head segment vaguely resembling 
one in a Ken Burns documentary. 


There’s apparently not allowed to be 
any scripting, any time I’ve written 
even a word down that I’m intending 
to use or brought an index card, it’s 
failed. We brought 15 D-Class 
personnel with us to Slovenia, where 
I’m stuck up in this stuffy office, and 
we've been through each of them 
three—four times now, and we're 
running out of barf bags. 


So, I’m really hoping that my 
frustration at this process begins to 
count as a genuine enough emotional 
response for these requirements. My 
frustration, in fact, Knows no bounds 
as...none of this goddamn anomaly 
makes sense. 


Why would you create an infohazard, 
create a loophole, send it to the 
Foundation and make the loophole 
related to an American documentary 
filmmaker who doesn’t have to be 
involved in the process? 


We've [CENSORED BY ORDER OF 
THE O5 COMMISSION INTERNAL 
AFFAIRS BUREAU] — he has nothing 
to do with this, he has nothing to do 
with Slovenia. 


There’s no professional standards 
required for this film, as you can tell 
by the fact that I’m filming myself with 
it... 


[laughter] 
Okay. I’m beginning to think 
somebody’s playing a prank on us. 


Footnotes 

1. His name and former position within the Foundation are not 
effected by the infohazard and are thusly included in the Special 
Containment Procedures. 

2. An American film company from Walpole, NH, owned by Ken 
Burns. 


SCP-3973: Would you like to re-roll? 


Item #: SCP-3973 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3973 is to be kept in a 
locked box and placed inside of a standard anomalous item locker in 
the Site-16 storage room. Testing is approved for and staff Level 2 
or higher. Staff who wish to test SCP-3973 must make an entry in 
the log book located in the Site-16 storage room. 


Following Interview 3973-1 and Dr. Harpy's request, SCP-3973's 
containment procedures are to be changed. SCP-3973 is to be kept 
in a locked 30x30x30 cm acrylic glass box in Site-16's Anomalous 
Item Research Lab 104. The scenery inside of the glass box should 
be changed once a month as an incentive for SCP-3973 to continue 
to comply with interviews. The scenery may be changed by adding 
more miniatures, plastic foliage, sand, or plastic rocks. These have 
been provided by Dr. Harpy and can be found in a labeled box in the 
Site-16 break room. 


Staff who wish to test or interview SCP-3973 must have a security 
clearance of Level 2 or higher and receive permission from Dr. 
Harpy first. 


Description: SCP-3973 is a standard miniature from the tabletop 
war game Warhammer 40,000. The object is physically 
unremarkable, being composed of plastic and reaching a height of 
about 3.3 cm. SCP-3973 is covered in layers of brand model 
paint. The object's only apparent anomalous property is an influence 
over the outcome of dice rolls within a 50-cm radius caused by 
unknown means. 


When it was originally contained, all dice rolled within a 50-cm 
radius of SCP-3973 always landed with the lowest side facing up. 
Due to this, SCP-3973 was originally classified as an anomalous 


item and denied full SCP classification. For a total of months, 
SCP-3973 was kept in storage in one of Site-16's anomalous item 
lockers. During one of Site-16's routine anomalous item checks, 
Incident 3973-FC occurred. See below for details. 


+ Incident 3973-FC 


The following is an excerpt from the log of Dr. Harpy. At 
the time, Dr. Harpy was preforming routine anomaly 
checks on multiple items from Site-16's Anomalous Items 
Department. 


Item Description: A tabletop war game 
miniature that influenced dice rolled within a 
50-cm radius to land with the lowest side 
facing up. 

Date of Recovery: 02/09/ 

Location of Recovery: : 

Current Status: A standard anomalous item 
locker in Site-16. 


Testing materials: 


¢ One U.S. quarter 

* One four-sided die 
* One six-sided die 

* One eight-sided die 
* One 10-sided die 

* One 12-sided die 

* One 20-sided die 


Test 1: 

Procedure: One U.S. quarter is flipped within 
the item's area of effect. 

Results: The quarter lands vertically on its 
side. Test repeated five times with the same 
results 


For brevity, tests two through six have been excluded. 
Procedure included rolling each die multiple times and 
each test resulted in the die landing with the "1" side 


facing up. 


Test 7: 

Procedure: An impromptu test after 
accidentally knocking multiple dice into the 
object's area of effect. A total of six dice were 
rolled in the 50cm area. 

Results: Dice landed in a pattern that 
resembled a "smiley face", with the six- and 
four-sided dice making two eyes and the rest 
forming a mouth. Test repeated a total of 
seven times, with the dice landing in the exact 
same formation each time. Requesting further 
research into the anomalous properties of this 
object. 


+ Experiment Log 3973-1