Summary: This video was a livestream, 
featuring SCP-3413-A sitting in front of a desk 
in a middle-class apartment, in which he 
outlines his plans for the channel, expresses 
exhilaration that his series has "been so 
successful", and briefly answers questions 
submitted in chat. The only viewers were 
Foundation personnel member [REDACTED], 
username "lionlover09", and zoological 
research team member [REDACTED], 
username "armlessTiger" 


<Begin Log> 


SCP-3413-A: Alright, blokes and sheilas! It's 
time to answer some of your questions! | don't 
have a lot of time today, but | know a lot of you 
have been wanting to get some answers out of 
ol' Safari Dave, so here's your chance! 


lionlover09: where do you live 


SCP-3413-A: /ionlover09 says, "Where do you 
live?" Ah, that's a great question, but I'm afraid 
! can't answer that. | have to protect me and 
my mates' privacy! 


armlessTiger: Can you tell us more about 
yourself? 


SCP-3413-A: armlessTiger says, "Can you tell 
us more about yourself?" Well, there isn't a lot 
to say. This isn't a show about Safari Dave, it's 
a show about the animals! 


lionlover09: why do u make these vids 


SCP-3413-A: lionlover09 says, "Why do you 
make these 'vids'?" Well... does anyone in 
here remember Steve Irwin? He might have 
been before your time. Steve Irwin was just 
about the coolest guy who ever lived. He was 
the Crocodile Hunter! My son used to watch 
the Crocodile Hunter whenever it was on. | 
could hardly pull the little anklebiter away from 
the TV! He loved it so much. Mr. Irwin may be 
no longer with us, but | thought... maybe | 
could do that, you know? It would make my 
son happy. And now, here we are! So many 
fans, so much love. 


lionlover09: why do u lie 


SCP-3413-A: Oh, it's lionlover again. Curious 
little tyke, ain't ya? "Why do you I-" Oh, oh no, 
I'm sorry. | don't lie. | just make mistakes. | 
just... even great adventurers like Safari Dave 
don't know everything about animals. 
Sometimes | say the wrong thing. I'm sorry. | 
tend to forget. | mix it up. | mix up so many 
things now. But the kids always know when | 
slip up. My son, he knows everything about 
animals. 


armlessTiger: Where did you get your 
information on the sun bears? 


SCP-3413-A: armlessTiger says, "Where did 
you get your information on the sun bears?" 
That's easy! | got all my research from my son! 
He's a genius when it comes to animals, he 
knew everything about sun bears. He even 
knew about sun bears before there were sun 
bears at all! They're his favorite animal. He 
used to draw them all the time, and they were 
the most curious looking creatures you ever 
saw! 


armlessTiger: Can you tell us more about 
your son? 


SCP-3413-A: "Can you tell us more about 
your son?" |- | don't even know where to begin. 
He's the light of my life. He loves animals. He 
drew all the time, he'd watch the Crocodile 
Hunter and then he'd be drawing crocodiles or 
panthers or whatever it was on the TV. He'd 
do it for hours. He'd draw the craziest critters, 
things that looked so wild you couldn't believe 
they existed at all, and then he'd go "Dad, it's a 
sun bear.” Can you believe it? All of this is 
because of him. 


lionlover09: where is ur son 


SCP-3413-A: "Where is-" Oh. Well. He's not 
here. He's with his mom. But | know he's doing 
fine. He's probably studying animals, or 
building zoos, or doing something so amazing 
that we don't even have a word for it yet! 
That's the kind of kid he is. He's going places. 


armlessTiger: Can you tell us where your son 
lives? 


SCP-3413-A: /'m sorry. | really shouldn't be 
talking about this anymore. | mean, hey, this is 
Safari Dave's Wild World! We're all about the 
animals here. Anybody have any suggestions 
for animals they want to see Safari Dave 
tackle next? 


(SCP-3413-A waited twenty minutes for 
additional questions before finally exiting the 
livestream) 


Addendum: Most videos end with a brief credits sequence. 
Investigation into the names shown revealed that most did not 
correspond to real individuals. Lester _, identified as being 
"camera crew" on the fourth video, was traced to project housing in 
Detroit, and interrogated. 


+ Interview 3413-1 
Interviewed: Lester 
Interviewer: Dr. Redfearn 
<Begin Log> 


Dr. Redfearn: How did you come to know 
Safari Dave? 


Lester: | didn't really know him at all. | just 
saw the job offer and took it. They paid for my 
plane ticket, my hotel room, everything. | 
needed a job like that. 


Dr. Redfearn: What was itt like working with 
him? 


Lester: You could tell the guy was weird. 
Definitely- what's the word- senile? He forgot 
everything. We'd be all ready to shoot, and 
then we'd have to wait for him because he 
didn't bring his binoculars or whatever. We had 
to feed him his lines through an earpiece, he'd 
forget ‘em. And he talked about his kid all the 
time. The way he told it, you'd think this kid 
was Einstein. And like | said, he'd forget 
everything. So once he was through talking 
your ear off about his kid, he'd tell you about 
the same damn thing he just finished telling 
you. 


Dr. Redfearn: Did you notice anything unusual 
about the filming? 


Lester: Nothing except that he had no idea 
what he was doing. He couldn't manage a 
budget, he couldn't set up a camera. We 
wasted so much time. Every night he'd wake 
us up at Some ungodly hour and we'd go out 
and film the bears all day. Long after he'd 
recorded all his scenes, he still had us filming 
the bears for a week. He acted like he never 
wanted it to end. 


Dr. Redfearn: Was there anything else that 
concerned you? 


Lester: Well, | mean, nothing major. It's kind 
of stupid. 


Dr. Redfearn: It's no trouble at all. 


Lester: The atmosphere was wrong. It felt 
fake. Everyone else had worked with Dave 
before, and they all acted like they were 


humoring him, like they were all playing a joke 
on him. Whenever he was out of sight, they'd 
shit-talk him. They said that sun bears weren't 
even real. | don't really get it. They all saw the 
bears. 


Dr. Redfearn: Were you aware of the 
existence of sun bears prior to filming? 


Lester: No. | mean, | didn't think it was a really 
famous animal or anything. Most people 
probably don't know about them. 


Dr. Redfearn: Do you have any idea why your 
coworkers didn't think sun bears were real? 


Lester: Like | said, | have no clue. They 
probably just remembered it wrong. Or they're 
crazy. | can't think of any other reasons. 


Dr. Redfearn: Thank you for your time, Mr. 


SCP-3414: Beware of Toilet Snake 


Item #: SCP-3414 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3414 is currently under 
the administration of the Kenyan Slum Cleanliness Programme 
(KSCP), a Foundation-affiliated slum upgrading initiative. For 
concealment purposes, it has been incorporated into KSCP's 
administrative building in the Kibera district. SCP-3414's entrance is 
to be secured with a pair of steel braces to prevent accidental 
activation; the braces should only be retracted for experimental or 
feeding purposes. 


Once a month, a live sedated pig (or weight-equivalent livestock) is 
to be introduced into SCP-3414. SCP-3414 should then be rinsed 
with fresh water and nonsynthetic disinfectant. 


Description: SCP-3414 is a public latrine located in Kibera, Nairobi. 
Like its neighbouring units, it contains a single pour-flush toilet 
opening into a shared underground pit. The words "BEWARE 
SNAKE!!" are written on the side of SCP-3414; its origin is unknown 
as it appears to predate the initial manifestation of SCP-3414's 
anomalous effects. 


SCP-3414 activates when a live warm-blooded organism exceeding 
roughly 20kg in weight enters it completely. If left unobstructed, 
SCP-3414's door will then shut for the following 10-12 minutes. 
Reinforced observational devices placed within SCP-3414 have 
recorded the following during this period: 


* Local direction of gravity shifting in a periodic pitching/rolling 
motion 


* "Twisting" of ceiling and walls to crush and churn introduced 
foreign material. This process is invariably fatal for 


SCP-3414's occupants. Notably, SCP-3414's walls appear 
structurally sound when inspected afterwards, but remain 
slightly warm and pliable to the touch for 6-8 hours following 
deactivation. 


¢ Dark brown slurry ejecting from the toilet at an estimated rate 
of 10kg/s. Slurry is largely composed of leaves (5%), partially- 
digested biological tissue (22%), and freshwater (76%). 
Testing of biomatter suggests primarily piscine origin, though 
mammalian and avian skeletal remains have also been found. 
At the end of the activation period, the slurry along with 
crushed organic remains is evacuated back into the toilet 
under suction. SCP-3414's internal structure will further distort 
to accomodate the evacuation of all organic material within 
itself, though with some selectiveness. Notably, SCP-3414 
tends to avoid ingesting skulls, crushing them but not 
evacuating them through its toilet. 


Microbiological profile of the slurry matches similar readouts from 
samples collected in the Amazon basin, specifically along the lower 
course of the Rio Negro. This finding is corroborated by genetic 
profiling of leaves and tissue remains, further narrowing the region 
of origin as Anavilhanas National Park in Brazil. 


The waste pit below SCP-3414 has been examined and deemed to 
be non-anomalous. Analysis of pit waste revealed no sign of 
SCP-3414's ingested material, warranting further investigation into 
SCP-3414's ingestion process. 


Addendum 01: Ingestion log 


Date Activation Subject Remarks 
length 
05/09/2017 10 min (approx.) J. Mwangi Initial SCP-3414 

activation. 
Subject could 
not be 
recovered. 
Identity of 
subject 
confirmed by 


Interviewer: Please explain your relationship with 
SCP-441. 

D-1570: You mean 

Interviewer: What? Please repeat your answer. 
D-1570: . It's what he calls himself. 

Interviewer: May | remind you, these interviews are 
intended to be conducted with the utmost seriousness. 
D-1570: I’m completely serious. (Begins coughing 
violently) 

Interviewer: So you claim SCP-441 is sentient? 
D-1570: Yes. He’s been waiting for someone like me, 
you see (D-1570 is unresponsive for several seconds). 
He tells me things. Such things.....He’s waiting. 
Interviewer: Waiting for what? 

D-1570: Doctor, have you ever felt detached from your 
own body? As if you were still there, still inhabiting your 
person, but there was this thick wall of cotton between 
your mind and your body? Like you witnessed every 
action your body took three or four seconds after it 
happened? 

(D-1570 ceases to respond to questioning at this point) 


[15:03] 

Interviewer: Have you obtained any further 
understanding of SCP-441-1? 

D-1570: Oh, the black grass? It reminds him of home. 
(D-1570 begins coughing) 

Interviewer: Are you aware of the effect exposure to 
SCP-441 has on your health? 

D-1570: Yes. 

Interviewer: And you have no qualms with it? 

D-1570: He....he said it was the only way. (Coughing) 
Interviewer: Please clarify that statement. 

D-1570: Would you like to see what he’s done? (At this 
point, D-1570 begins lifting his shirt) 

Interviewer: Oh God. Shit. [DATA EXPUNGED] 
(Screaming over microphone) We need a medic in here! 


<End Log> 


06/10/2017 


Omin 52s 


Agent S. Kaméu 


DNA analysis of 
biological 
remnants and 
bone fragments. 
Presence of 
non-human DNA 
in the remains 
as well as 
unusual 
circumstances of 
death alerted 
contacts in local 
law 
enforcement, 
who brought the 
anomaly to 
Foundation 
attention. 
Triggered by 
subject following 
initial 
containment. 
Subject reported 
being quickly 
overwhelmed by 
ejected slurry, 
with SCP-3414's 
walls contorting 
to immobilise 
him. Subject was 
then forcefully 
drawn into 
SCP-3414's 
toilet feet-first, 
resulting in 
crushing injury to 
both legs up to 
the kneecap. 
Subsequent 
forcing open of 


SCP-3414's 
door interrupted 
the ingestion 
process, 
allowing 
subject's rescue. 
Subject was able 
to be stabilised 
on the spot, but 
expired 3 days 
later following 
complications 
from sepsis. 
10/10/2017 11 min 33s Live sedated p/g Inserted to 
determine 
activation 
threshold. Head 
and torso of 
subject left 
crushed but 
uningested, 
suggesting 
selectiveness on 
part of 
SCP-3414. 


Addendum 02: Updated containment procedures 


On 04/05/2018, SCP-3414 ejected a large amount of brown slurry 
from its toilet without activating beforehand. Slurry was substantially 
more acidic than previous ejections, bearing a pH of 2 and 
containing high concentrations of hydrochloric acid. Following 
cleanup, SCP-3414's walls began to ‘peel’, shedding a translucent 
mucous-like substance and leaking a dilute red liquid later identified 
as blood. 


Ejections continued every few hours over the course of the next few 
days, severely complicating existing waste disposal measures owing 
to the location of the containment site. Meanwhile, genetic analysis 
of the blood revealed that it belonged to a single individual of 


Eunectes murinus (Green anaconda). Further CBC testing revealed 
abnormally low prealbumin levels, suggesting acute malnutrition. 


Following the advice of resident herpetologist Dr. S. Nyongo, it was 
decided that live organic material be administered to SCP-3414 to 
alleviate this new complication. Delivery of one live pig into 
SCP-3414 caused the ejections to cease at once, and was 
accompanied by what attending researchers described as a high- 
pitched hissing sound coming from the ground. 


Subsequently, containment procedures were updated to their 
current iteration to involve regular delivery of livestock into 
SCP-3414. 


SCP-3415: Employee of The Month, Every Month 


Item #: SCP-3415 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: Maintenance Team-3415, 
consisting of Class-C personnel cycled in biyearly from a candidate 
pool, is stationed at SCP-3415's containment area. Two members of 
Maintenance Team-3415, trained as plainclothes guards, are to 
maintain a constant presence outside the building. ! 


The building containing SCP-3415 is officially registered as 
condemned. Any unauthorized individual attempting to access the 
premises is to be apprehended, interrogated, and administered 
amnestics before release. 


Maintenance Team-3415 are to maintain a Standard Foundation 
Monitoring Post located outside of the cubicle housing SCP-3415. 
Any discrepancies in idle anomalous activity are to be logged and 
noted. Entry into the cubicle containing SCP-3415 outside of 
research sessions must be granted by the current head of 
Maintenance Team-3415. Time spent within the cubicle must not 
exceed more than one minute at a time due to risk of unpredictable 
anomalous behaviour. 


Currently, 34 instances of SCP-3415-1 remain onsite in varying 
storage units in SCP-3415's containment area. An additional 59 
instances have been transported to Site-16 for research purposes 
and are to be kept in Storage Locker 18G outside of testing 
sessions. 


Description: SCP-3415 is a mind-affecting phenomenon involving 
the individual known as Jocelyn Blom2 and her position as a HR 
Representative for a small, now-defunct accounting firm. SCP-3415 
is comprised of numerous anomalous alterations and 
cognitohazards applied to the space within Cubicle 111, situated on 


the second floor of an office building located on the outskirts of 
Nottingham, England. 


The effects of SCP-3415 primarily manifest mentally with tenuous 
visual-audio elements. SCP-3415 can be triggered by an individual 
in two ways: 


¢ Learning of any basic knowledge regarding Jocelyn Blom's 
identity. This includes details such as her full names, place of 
birth or association with