Procedure: 200/200 spaces filled. Researcher 
Cisneros, who is fluent in Spanish, uses her 
personal vehicle to reproduce SCP-3738. The 
car is equipped with several microphones. 
Result: Space distorts as in previous tests. 
SCP-3738-1 manifests, and lands on the top of 
the car. Its movements are noticeably more 
sluggish. Researcher Cisneros opens the 
window. SCP-3738-1 hisses, and murmurs 
quietly. Researcher Cisneros attempts to 
communicate with SCP-3738-1, but it throws a 
similar toy car at her then flies off and 
subsequently demanifests. Microphones only 
picked up a few fragmented phrases: "hijo" 
("son"), "aorendio" ("[he] learned"), and 
"olvidado" ("forgotten"). 


Following Test 3738-07, SCP-3738-1 no longer lands on vehicles 
using SCP-3738. Attempts at trapping or communicating with 
SCP-3738-1 are ignored by it, and cause all effects of SCP-3738 to 
revert. 


SCP-3740: God Is Dumb 


Item #: SCP-3740 
Object Class: Keter 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3740 is currently 
contained within several modified large humanoid containment cells 
at Site-81. SCP-3740’s cells are to be supplied with hand-crafted, 
rustic furnishings and an abundance of animal pelts and torches, as 
well as a large stone fireplace and bearskin rug. No fewer than 
fifteen casks of beer are to be provided within the dining cell at all 
times!. SCP-3740 is capable of providing itself with sustenance; 
however, it may occasionally request members of its containment 
team join it in a meal. During these events, Foundation personnel 
are to provide a whole cow or swine, which SCP-3740 will cook and 
serve to its preference. 


Under no circumstances are any individuals to address SCP-3740 
as anything other than "Ashur, God of the Windswept Plains and 
Soaring Skies", "Most Victorious and Unchallenged Lord Deific 
Ashur", or simply, "Mightiest Ashur". Additionally, the members of 
SCP-3740’s containment team are to refer to themselves and each 
other by the following pseudonyms: 


¢ Dr. Barrett: Ulmar the Unbroken 

¢ Dr. Fisher: Niems the Champion of the Wastes 

¢ Dr. Leads: Eleanora Thunderclap, Enchantress of the 
Towering Clouds 

¢« Researcher Zimmerman: Fott the Vicious 

¢ Researcher Oppenheimer: Aldous Manhattan, Slayer of His 
Enemies 

¢ Researcher Quinn: Carmet the Likewise Unbroken? 

¢ Researcher Li: Solomon of the East 

* Researcher Marshall: Ninurta, the Forgotten Sword of Night$ 


Ongoing containment of SCP-3740 requires strict adherence to a 


disinformation campaign created by Site-81 containment specialists, 
currently designated as the Mount Olympus Protocol. Please see 
Addendum 3740.2 for more information. 


Description: SCP-3740 is a Class VIII humanoid reality-altering 
entity believed to be Ashur, the Assyro-Babylonian god of air and 
head of the Assyrian pantheon of deities. SCP-3740 is capable of 
manipulating air currents at will, as well as communing with flying 
animals, and controlling air pressure and temperature. SCP-3740 is 
able to produce gusts of wind in excess of 500 kph, and create and 
control cyclones and other such meteorological formations. 
SCP-3740 appears as a young, tall, muscular human male with 
generally fair skin and black hair. SCP-3740 is capable of speaking 
fluently in several dead languages, as well as English, Spanish, 
Portuguese, Arabic, Farsi, and Armenian. 


Due to SCP-3740’s abilities and characteristics, it is currently 
classified as a Keter-class anomalous entity. However, containment 
efforts are aided by the fact that SCP-3740 is remarkably gullible. 
SCP-3740 accepts almost all statements at face value, and displays 
no traces of skepticism or uncertainty. SCP-3740 will readily believe 
almost anything said by any person, so long as it believes that 
individual is a similarly powerful deity. Actual supernatural feats are 
not required as evidence of deific power: simple card tricks or sleight 
of hand are sufficient proof of godhood in the eyes of SCP-3740. 


Addendum 3740.1: Discovery 


SCP-3740 was discovered during an altercation at a bar near the 
Turkish city of Gaziantep. According to eyewitness reports, 
SCP-3740 was seen drinking heavily with a large group of 
individuals at the bar, when he was shoved by another patron due to 
some perceived insult. A brawl began, which ended when SCP-3740 
blew out the front wall of the building, injuring 18 people and 
resulting in thousands of dollars of property damage. Local 
authorities apprehended the severely intoxicated SCP-3740, who 
began to rant unceasingly about his “incredible cosmic power” until 
local Foundation agents intercepted the authorities and 
apprehended SCP-3740. 


Addendum 3740.2: Mount Olympus Protocol 


SCP-485: Death Pen 


Item #: SCP-485 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-485 is to be kept ina 
locked safe-deposit box at all times with the key to be kept ina 
secure location. 


Description: SCP-485 appears to be a standard retractable pen 
with an unusually easy to click button. The pen itself was 
accidentally stolen by Dr. Dahij, upon renewing his life insurance 
policy. The pen once belonged to Agent of Life Insurance 
Inc. Each time the pen's tip is extended, a random person known to 
the user dies by an unknown cause. Since the button's action is 
abnormally smooth, subjects during testing were noted to rapidly 
click the pen without conscious thought or realization of what was 
happening. 


Initial discovery occurred upon Dr. falling dead mid-sentence 
as Dr. Dahij was absently clicking his pen near his desk. Dahij called 
his wife, only to discover no answer at any normally reachable 
locations, including her place of employment. Supervisor was 
found dead with a mildly surprised look on his face. Pen was given 
SCP status, testing to follow shortly. 


The pen's action was confirmed by a reclusive Class-D personnel 
who only knew 339 living people, all met since his internment at 
location on base. Said personnel successfully dispatched 
upwards of 90% of the remaining test subjects on hand, as they had 
all been selected from the same dormitory wing on-base. Procedure 
for obtaining live testing personnel has been updated to require 
more randomization in the selection process. 


Addendum: Due to Dr. Dahij's recent personal tragedy involving 
nearly all of his friends and family, SCP-485 is hereby remanded to 


Preface: The following document is an excerpt from an internal 
memo between members of the Site-81 containment research team. 


SCP FOUNDATION SECURE SERVER 
SITE-81 


3740/4 CLASSIFIED INFORMATION 


TO: 3740 Research Team, Site-81 Containment 
Research Team, Site-81 Administration, Site Directors 
Council, Foundation Containment Committee 


FROM: Dr. G. McElroy, Site-81 Containment Research 
Head 


I’m sending out this memo because I’m sure many of you 
will notice by the morning that we've cancelled our order 
for additional containment measures. It’s certainly no 
mean feat to contain reality benders, let alone Class 8s, 
and we usually break out the big guns for them. In this 
case, though, we don’t need to worry about that. 


You're probably asking yourself right now, “But Dr. 
McElroy, why wouldn’t we pull out all the stops for an 
entity that could very literally blow the roof off of Site-81? 
Isn’t this lackadaisical approach to SCP-3740’s 
containment counterintuitive and dangerous?” The 
answer to that second question is yes, usually. But we 
got lucky in this case. Sometimes this unnatural order of 
things throws you a softball, and this ball might as well 
be made out of mozzarella. 


Here’s the thing: SCP-3740 is hands down, in all 
seriousness, 100% no doubt easily the most gullible 
person I’ve ever met in my entire life. I’m not joking. | 
walked into the room and announced myself as Bliss 
Delight, a being of pure energy, built up some static on 
my hand and zapped him a bit, and he said “always a 
pleasure to meet a fellow god” and even now fo this day 
continues to call me Bliss Delight. Jim Oppenheimer told 
him about how he “fought and killed a thousand men, 


singlehandedly, for betraying his brother” and the guy 
now calls him Aldous Manhattan, Slayer of His Enemies. 
It’s absolutely madness. 


So we've set the guy up with a convincing enough 
spread, told him it’s super important that he not destroy 
the cell, and he’s perfectly content to sit around, drinking 
and fucking and having these crazy feasts with the 
members of his containment team. 


SCP-3740 may very well turn into a containment risk at 
some point, and for the time being we’re not going to 
challenge his classification. But know that you can rest 
easy, because the most dangerous entity at Site-81 
thinks Director Aktus is a supernatural space all-father 
named “Maltheus, the Horror of Hadrian’s Hell” because 
he knows how to turn on a lightswitch. 


SCP-3740 is more than capable at any given point in time of 
breaching containment. In order to prevent any such event and 
maintain long-term containment of SCP-3740, the following MOUNT 
OLYMPUS PROTOCOL has been enacted to coordinate any future 
communications with SCP-3740. 


SCP-3740 currently believes it resides in a building called the 
“Angolian Chateau”, a structure it conquered while black-out drunk 
during the brawl that led to its discovery. Within the containment cell, 
there are three types of individuals permitted to interact with 
SCP-3740 at any given time: 


¢ Servants: SCP-3740 believes that its containment cell is 
staffed with servants or slaves, who he refers to as “Elamites” 
or “Chaldeans”. These individuals are not permitted to speak 
to SCP-3740 or make eye contact with the entity, as these are 
signs of perceived disrespect and will agitate SCP-3740 
considerably. All individuals of this type are D-Class 
personnel. SCP-3740 will typically ignore these individuals 
and not act with any hostility towards them, so long as they 
maintain their character. 

¢ Chateau Guardians: These are members of Site-81 security 
personnel who wear period-appropriate armor and weapons 


and serve as the guards at the front door of the containment 
cell. Due to their status as military personnel, SCP-3740 
typically treats them as brothers in arms, though with no 
illusions about the difference in class or rank between them. 
SCP-3740 may occasionally call on these individuals to spar 
with him, and they are expected to be overwhelmed by him 
and surrender’. 

¢ Gods and Heroes: These are members of the site 
containment team and research personnel who have 
convinced SCP-3740 that they are gods or legendary heroes. 
SCP-3740 has an extremely familiar relationship with all of 
these individuals, and speaks of them as if they were his own 
family members. He will routinely request their presence at 
feasts he holds within his containment cell, during which he 
will consume an inhuman amount of alcohol and share 
grandiose tales with his fellow deities, as well as mock or 
scorn the Elamites and Chaldeans. 


SCP-3740 has been led to believe that the brawl that led to his 
discovery was so fierce, it opened a passageway through space and 
time and returned him to antiquity, where he once again rules 
supreme at the top of the Assyrian pantheon. As per usual, 
SCP-3740 has had no issue accepting this version of events. 
Foundation actors posing as other members of the Assyrian 
pantheon have helped to strengthen the illusion of the Protocol. 


Addendum 3740.3: Interview with SCP-3740 


Note: The following is an excerpt from the transcription of an 
interview administered by Dr. Monica Leads shortly after the 
introduction of the Mount Olympus Protocol. 


Dr. Leads: Ashur, greetings! 


SCP-3740: And greetings to you, oh wondrous 
enchantress! | was just speaking to, hang on. Thaddeus! 
Artemor! (Gestures towards two members of the security 
team) Come in here, yes, come here. | was just telling 
my brothers Thaddeus and Artemor about you, Eleanora! 
This, friends, is the beautiful and terrible Eleanora 
Thunderclap. Is she not a sight to behold! 


(The members of the security team, both of whom report 
directly to Dr. Leads, nod in agreement.) 


Dr. Leads: That is very kind of you to say, Ashur. 


SCP-3740: Nonsense. | know of no better way to 
describe a great warrior empress like yourself! Here, 
Eleanora, show them the- show them the thing again. 
The rain thing, yes, the summoning the storm thing. 
Please! 


(Dr. Leads claps her hands three times, and outside 
containment personnel proceed to activate the sprinklers 
within the cell.) 


SCP-3740: Hahahaha! What great power! | told her, 
brothers, | told her the other day, just the other day, that 
she has more power than anyone | have ever met 
before! Greater even than the Polymorph of Diogenyses, 
or the Marmlukk of the Arab Well. Maybe second only to 
our great companion Solomon, who | only recently 
observed removing his thumb simply by moving his other 
hand! Truly astounding. 


(Both guards nod in agreement.) 


SCP-3740: But very well. I'm sure Eleanora has 
important business to speak of to me. Thaddeus, 
Artemor. To your stations. (The two men depart.) Now, 
Eleanora. Let’s speak candidly. How are you? 


Dr. Leads: I’m well, Ashur, how- 


SCP-3740: | would very much enjoy the opportunity to 
intercourse with you sexually, Eleanora. 


Dr. Leads: |- yes, you’ve mentioned as much, Ashur. 
Unfortunately, you see, | have been cursed. 


SCP-3740: Cursed? Cursed!? How can this be? Who 
would do this terrible thing to you? Was it an Elamite? A 
witch? An Elamite witch? 


Dr. Leads: No no no, definitely not an Elamite. It was 
just a, uh, goblin... a goblin ran past, and just... just stole 
my nethers. Very tragic. 


SCP-3740: (Slams his fist on the table) Gods be 
damned! Except us, of course, but either way! (Takes a 
deep breath, closes his eyes slightly) What, dear 
Eleanora, is the extent of the... of the... of the damage? 
(Braces himself in anticipation.) 


Dr. Leads: | mean, it’s just... it’s just all like... it’s all 
smooth down there. 


SCP-3740: Spirits have mercy! (A fierce wind is kicked 
up and SCP-3740’s chair is knocked backwards. He 
scrambles up off of the floor.) You poor, unfortunate soul! 
| cast a pox on the fiendish creature who did this to you. 
Let his cries be heard forevermore from the salted earth! 


Dr. Leads: | certainly appreciate the sentiment, Ashur, 
thank you. But be true, the reason I’ve come to see you 
is to ask if you are enjoying your accommodations. 


SCP-3740: Undoubtedly! | have only the finest 
furnishings and decor here, as you can see. Our good 
friend Tiamat procured these bottomless casks of the 
finest amber ale, and look here! Ulmar brought me this 
most peculiar torch, and see this! (SCP-3740 claps once, 
and the light comes on.) What a remarkable treasure! 


Dr. Leads: Of course. | just wanted to make sure you 
were wanting for nothing here, Ashur. 


SCP-3740: Absolutely not. Why would | ever want to 
leave such a palace? (Pauses) There is one thing, | 
remember. | would very much like to intercou- 


Dr. Leads: Goblin, Ashur. All smooth down there. 
SCP-3740: Gods be damned! 


Addendum 3740.4: Proof of Supernatural Abilities 


In order to facilitate proper communications with SCP-3740, all 
research and administrative personnel are to perform a feat 
sufficient enough to prove to SCP-3740 that they are divine beings, 
on an equal footing to SCP-3740. So far, the following acts have 
been sufficient to fool SCP-3740: 


¢ Dr. Clark: Floated an iron ball across the room using magnets 
and wire. 

¢« Dr. Yemma: Used a laser pointer to make a cat run around. 

¢ Researcher Kiryu: Having hair of a non-natural color. 

¢ Dr. Vanderbilt: Pulled a quarter out of SCP-3740’s ear. 

¢ Dr. Andrews: Held a pencil to the side of his head and 
pretended to swallow it. 

¢« Researcher Dansby: Juggled.