SCP-3708 was recovered from the residence of the recently 
deceased Reinier Costede, an 83-year-old farmer, in Gilman, 
Wisconsin. Following the witnessing of SCP-3708's anomalous 
properties by Costede's relatives, field agents responded to reports 
of a "living chicken statue" circulating in the small village. Costede's 
residence was searched, and SCP-3708 was recovered without 
incident. 


Addendum 3708.1: Recovered Document 


Upon the recovery of SCP-3708, a small note was found taped to 
the side of its body. 


drawing a small amount of blood. 
NOTES: OK, | see no reason to instigate a full-scale riot. | think we 
get the picture. - Dr. 


Test 3 

PRECONDITIONS: SCP-481-1 was fully restrained to determine 
what effect denying her compulsions had. 

ACTION: After arming a small group of local malcontents, MTF-481 
obtained permission from the local authorities to deal with them. 
MTF-481 made quick work of the poorly trained force. 

TEST RESULT: SCP-481-1 became visibly uncomfortable, and 
demanded several times to be allowed out of her restraints. Blood 
pressure was recorded as elevated and EEGs showed a sharp 
increase in the amount of electrical activity in the brain. 

NOTES: /s it the stress causing those reactions, or the violence? - 
Dr. 


Test 4 

PRECONDITIONS: SCP-481-1 was fully restrained to determine 
what effect denying her compulsions had. 

ACTION: Mobile Researcher — proceeded to torture D-5999 with 
various implements, finishing with him after 3 hours. 

TEST RESULT: SCP-481-1 shook violently for the entire 3 hours 
before appearing to have a tonic-clonic seizure, followed by a 
cessation of her vitals. She was successfully revived. 

NOTES: Very interesting. Her blood pressure was way up, her heart 
was arrhythmic, and her brain’s electrical activity was still spiking 
after that. It appears that the scale of the violence is not so important 
as, to some degree, the brutality. Still, until we better understand 
what’s so damn important about this city, we’re not going to lose our 
only clue to heart failure. Testing is suspended. - Dr. 


Pa, 


I'm going to be gone for a while. 
Maybe | won't return. 
| know you don't get many visitors out here... 


| found you something to keep you company, though! 
A little reminder of me, | guess. His name's Benny. 
Take good care of him, OK? 


Marguerit. 
Addendum 3708.2: Recovered Document 


In addition to SCP-3708, a journal was found in Costede's 
residence; irrelevant content has been excluded. 


October 23rd, 2016 


Marguerit left in the afternoon, and gave me this little 
sculpture. It reminds me of a rooster | used to have as a 
child. I've put him on top of my nightstand for now. 


October 24th, 2016 


Today | woke up to the sound of a rooster calling, but | 
haven't had any on this farm in over 60 years now. For a 
second, I'd thought it was Marguerit calling me down. 
Must've been little Benny trying to keep me company. It's 
better than waking up alone. 


October 25th, 2016 


| woke up a little earlier today, and while doing my 
morning routine | heard Benny crowing again. | went 
over to where | had placed him, and by God, he was 
moving! | reached my hand out to touch him and he 
rubbed up against it. Then, he went back to normal... | 
don't know if I'm getting enough sleep. 


October 26th, 2016 


| thought it was the sleep, but it happened again today. 
This time, it looked like he was waiting for me. | pet him 
again and he soon went still. Reminded me of when 
Marguerit was just a baby... she'd always wake up crying 
in the middle of the night, and wouldn't quiet down until | 
went over to comfort her. 


November 19th, 2016 


Saying good-morning to Benny is part of my routine now. 
| think he's used to having me around, and so am I. She 
was right about me needing company. | only wish | could 
have him around more often than a minute each 
morning. Then again, it does make our time together 
more treasured... | didn't have Marguerit around for very 
long, either. 


December 21st, 2016 


Benny seemed more active than usual today. He was 
practically flailing about, crowing his head off about God- 
knows-what. Normally I'd be annoyed, but... with him, it's 
hard to. | was half-hoping that Marguerit had returned 
and he was crowing at that, but that wasn't the case. | 
just wish someone would come. 


December 22nd, 2016 


He kept it up today, which was no surprise. | just 
comforted him until he calmed down. Then, back to 
stone. God, why does he have to turn back to stone? 
Edel 

| came down with something, by the looks of it. I've been 
with a nasty cough for the better half of this afternoon. 
It's bearable, though. At least | have something to look 
forward to in the morning. 


December 23rd, 2016 (final entry) 


It looks like the flu. | think Benny knows, too. He seemed 
worried when | went to say good-morning today. But I'll 
be okay, for him. For Marguerit. 


Footnotes 
1.Gallus gallus domesticus. 


« SCP-3707 | SCP-3708 | ScP-3709 » 


SCP-3710: Elon MUSH! 


Item #: SCP-3710 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: Iditarod racers claiming to have 
witnessed SCP-3710 are to be administered Class A amnestics. 
Foundation undercover personnel are positioned along known 
locations of SCP-3710 manifestation. Personnel have been 
instructed to use special tranquilizer rifles to apprehend SCP-3710. 
All prior attempts to contain SCP-3710 have failed due to its 
tendency to either spontaneously demanifest or accelerate to 
speeds in excess of 1500 km/h when being actively pursued on foot 
or via dog sled. 


Description: SCP-3710 is a single dog-sled team are two dog sled 
teams consisting of the following components: 


* 8 cybernetically enhanced dogs, resembling those found in 
SCP-2624. Each dog possesses a miniaturized methane 
fueled Raptor rocket propulsion device in place of a rectal 
cavity. Propulsion is believed to be fueled by digestive 
byproducts. 

* 1 sled composed of composite wooden material 
demonstrating physically impossible resistance to both the 
excessive heat and force produced by the dogs. Is equipped 
with 2 Raptor methane fueled rocket propulsion devices, and 
a giant white X painted across the bed. 

¢ SCP-3710-1 is a single humanoid individual are two humanoid 
individuals claiming to be Canadian-American business 
magnate and billionaire, Elon Musk. Both SCP-3710-1 
instances show significantly different baseline physical, with 
the exception of the face, and behavioral traits from Mr. Musk. 
The entities possess 4 arms and prominent horns protruding 
from the top of their skulls. Despite continuously quoting Musk 
in all recorded interactions, SCP-3710-1 instances 


communicate in a manner closely resembling that of door-to- 
door salespersons. SCP-3710-1 exhibits a low level memetic 
effect, causing any individual who views the entity to perceive 
them as actually being Elon Musk." 


SCP-3710 manifests at random intervals along the route of the 
annual Iditarod, primarily during the 140km stretch of trail between 
Nenna and Manley Hot Springs, Alaska. SCP-3710 will follow 
targeted race participants above or alongside the trail until it is within 
vocal range.2 Once SCP-3710 has pulled within vocal range of its 
target, SCP-3710-1 will make attempts to persuade the race 
participant to purchase the most recent product being produced by 
one of Musk's companies. 


As the majority of products sold by Musk's companies are more 
expensive than race participants can actively afford, in 95% of cases 
the targeted party will refuse the offer. SCP-3710-1 will attempt 
multiple times to convince the targeted party. Should the party 
refuse 3 or more times, SCP-3710-1 will state its lack of interest in 
attempting to negotiate further. At this point, SCP-3710 will employ 
its propulsion devices, and either demanifest or move to the next 
target. 


When directly pursued by individuals not currently engaging it in 
business negotiations, SCP-3710 will demanifest, or activate its 
propulsion devices. Activating its propulsion devices in mountainous 
or icy terrain increases the probability of significant environmental 
hazards occurring, in addition to causing severe burn or blunt force 
wind damage to any individual caught in the jet stream. 


Discovery: 


SCP-3710 first appeared during the 1995 Iditarod, at which time 
SCP-3710-1 attempted to sell Zip2 software licenses to 15 different 
racers at $50,000 per licence. Following the initial manifestation, 
Foundation personnel contacted Elon Musk about his whereabouts 
during the Iditarod, at which point they determined that he had been 
on tour in New York City at the time of initial manifestation. 


An initial attempt was made to capture the entity utilizing several 6 
operatives posing as racers. SCP-3710 successfully evaded all 


members of the team via activation of its propulsion device, burying 
4 personnel beneath an avalanche. 2 additional personnel were 
killed in the attempt when they were launched by SCP-3710's jet- 
stream into a grove of trees. 


Addendum: 


The following log contains the text transcript of an audio recording of 
an undercover Foundation agent interacting with SCP-3710-1. 


Audio Log I-3710-01 

Date: 03/03/17 

Participant: Agent Shiane McCormick. 
Subject: SCP-3710-01 


Foreword: Agent McCormick was instructed, prior to the 
race, that should she encounter SCP-3710-1, she was 
instructed to refuse the first two attempts by the entity to 
sell its product, and then agree on the third attempt. 
Agent McCormick was given a card containing $100,000. 
She was not informed of SCP-3710-1's appearance prior 
to the incident. 


Begin Log I-3710-01 


[The audio log begins. For approximately 30 minutes 
nothing is audible but Agent McCormick's breath and 
dogs running through snow. At approximately 08:30:17 
an additional set of dogs running through snow becomes 
audible, and a voice can be heard.3] 


SCP-3710-1: "Greetings valued customer! When 
something is important enough, you do it even if the 
odds are not in your favor. Brand is just a perception, 
and perception will match reality over time. Sometimes it 
will be ahead, other times it will be behind. But brand is 
simply a collective impression some have about a 
product. Speaking of products, would you be interested 


in our brand new Tesla electric car?" 


Agent McCormick: "Are you supposed to be Elon 
Musk?" 


SCP-3710-1: "Supposed to be? My good ma'am | am the 
one and only Elon Musk. We have a strict 'no-assholes 
policy’ at SpaceX, and | would be in violation of that if | 
were an imposter! Now, would you be interested in 
purchasing a Tesla for only $203,000?" 


Agent McCormick: "| can't afford that." 


SCP-3710-1: "Come on, when Henry Ford made cheap, 
reliable cars, people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a 
horse?' That was a huge bet he made, and it worked. | 
always invest my own money in the companies that | 
create, and you should too! What would you say if we 
lowered the price to 150,000 just for you?" 


Agent McCormick: "That's still too expensive." 


SCP-3710-1: "I do think there is a lot of potential if you 
have a compelling product and people are willing to pay 
a premium for that, but obviously if you don't have the 
cash, | can't make you buy. I'll make one final offer, for 
just a small loan of $50,000 you could be driving your 
new Tesla as soon as tomorrow! Whaddya say?" 


Agent McCormick: "$50,000? | can work with that." 


SCP-3710-1: "Excellent! Thank you for doing business 
with Tesla Industries. As a thank you from us to you, 
we're including this once in a lifetime bonus with your 
purchase: rocket propulsion cybernetic enhancements 
for you and your team! Thank you for shopping Tesla, 
remember: The first step is to establish that something is 
physically impossible; then cybernetic surgery will occur. 
This is an automated message, please wait 5 seconds 
for [UNINTELLIGIBLE]." 


Agent McCormick: "Rocket propuls-" 


[Agent McCormick promptly cuts out, for the next 5 
seconds her sled dogs audibly whimper before the 
recording ends.] 


END LOG 


Postword: Following loss of contact with Agent 
McCormick, a team of retrieval operatives were deployed 
to the last recorded GPS contact. Agent McCormick and 
the accompanying sled dogs could not be located, 
although her sled remained in the middle of the trail. 
Later investigation discovered the transfer of $50,000 
from a Foundation front company to the sales account of 
Tesla Inc. 


Update: 03/23/17 


3 weeks following the events of the above audio log, Agent 


McCormick's GPS tracker reactivated in shallow waters off the coast 
of Tahiti. Retrieval teams recovered Agent McCormick and a fully 


functioning Tesla Model 3.4 Agent McCormick had sustained 


significant cybernetic surgical modification, including replacement of 


the lower jaw and esophagus with a Raptor propulsion device. 


McCormick was found alive in the trunk of the vehicle, with a hand 


written note attached to her forehead. 
Thank you for purchasing from Tesla Incorporated! 


We deeply regret the conditions under which we are 
forced to return your representative. An accident 
occurred when they attempted to prevent the agreed 
upon dog modification, as stated in Article 1 subsection 3 
of our verbal purchase agreement: "Upon purchase, the 
customer shall cede all dogs in his/her possession for 
propulsion modification, in preparation for SpaceX's 
excursion to Enceladus." 


Please take the time to fill out this survey at 
[COGNITOHAZARDOUS URL REMOVED]. Your 


monetary and dog contribution to the Tesla-SpaceX 
rocket dog initiative is appreciated! We hope you shop 
with us again. 


Elon Musk 


Update: 03/03/18 

Upon SCP-3710's following manifestation, a second, identical entity 
appeared with an equivalent number of canines to the first, matching 
the description of Agent McCormick's sled team. Agent McCormick's 
dogs appeared to possess cybernetic enhancements identical to 
those normally associated with SCP-3710's pre-existing individuals. 


As of this iteration, it is now believed that SCP-3710 targets Iditarod 
participants due to the relatively isolated nature of the route, and the 
conditioned training that their dogs undergo. Given the nature of 
such incidents, and relatively ineffective nature of SCP-3710-1's 
bargaining attempts, SCP-3710's requested upgrade to Keter has 
been denied. 


Footnotes 

1. Individuals shown actual photos of Elon Musk post interaction 
with SCP-3710-1 exhibit shock and/or disbelief that the figure in the 
given piece of media is actually Musk. 

2. This includes floating, or hovering next to sheer cliff faces and 
canyons; Navigating through densely packed forests or on top of 
thin ice surfaces. 

3. Audio analysis indicates a 100% match to Elon Musk. 

4. The Tesla Model 3 was not scheduled for release until July 7th. 


SCP-3713: All the World’s a Stage 


Item #: SCP-3713 
Object Class: Keter Neutralized! 


Special Containment Procedures: Dr. Robert Dorer is to act as a 
psychotherapist/counselor for Pol-3713 and is to meet with them at 
least once every month, utilizing audiovisual communication 
platforms2 when necessary. If any anomalous activity is discovered 
or suspected, Dr. Dorer is to report the development immediately. 
Otherwise, sessions are allowed to remain private and unrecorded 
as per the will of the Ethics Committee. 


> Archived Containment Procedures 


During an SCP-3713 event, incoming traffic is to be 
diverted under the guise of military operations. Should an 
SCP-3713 Event be detected, a team of D-Class 
personnel equipped with basic audiovisual recording 
equipment are to be immediately deployed to the 
location to document the event.