Growth has continued, showing marked deviance from 
normal human social behaviour. Whereas Homo sapiens 
was never intended to live in groups of more than a few 
hundred, H. eudaimonia will function perfectly in groups 
of thousands or millions. Agriculture going at full tilt now, 
making use of the available aquifers for irrigation. 


Deviant behaviours have begun to emerge. The taboo 
against cannibalism seems to have vanished and dead 
Eudaimoniacs are being consumed for sustenance. 
Additionally, disabled or feeble individuals are suiciding 
or being killed at a worrying rate. Beta-1 wants to 
interfere, try to lay down moral guidelines, but Alpha-1 
insists that finding these things repulsive is one of the 
problems with our society and any interaction could ‘taint 
the Eudaimoniacs. 


Technological development is proceeding significantly 
faster than estimated rates. Construction has begun on 
several structures of unknown purpose, an interesting 
development considering that no actual buildings 
previously existed in Eudaimonia. 


Document 752-70 (recovered from Site-752-2) 


Year 24, Day 4 
Eudaimon-Beta-4 
Population of Eudaimonia: ~300 


Population growth has suddenly exploded, nearly 
doubling in less than a decade. Presumably this increase 
is related to the structures. 


Some other extremely worrying behaviours have begun 
to emerge. The Eudaimoniacs have developed a 
meritocracy caste system, and are forcing the strongest 
and least intelligent to build for them. No, not forcing — 
the workers do it voluntarily, but they’re working 
themselves to death. In fact, everybody in this society is 
being worked to death. Estimated life expectancy is 
about forty-five, and we proved in the initial testing that 


™ was so foreign to him, but his whole perspective felt strange. 
Thomas felt odd. He needed grounding. 


Finally, he arrived at an apartment complex. He walked through the 
door and into the small lit up lobby area. He stared down the buttons 
by the elevator — Billy the Magical Bean, Sammich, Marvelous 
Marvin, Elepant, and Percy Pinwheel. He clicked and held the very 
last button, and began to speak softly into it. 


"Pinwheel? I'm in a bad place. It's me, Thomas. | need a friend." 


3T stepped back, and waited for a response. His leg bounced, and 
his clothes hung over his arms jingled softly. Nothing. Thomas 
approached again, and held the button again, and then he spoke 
again. 


"| know you're a light sleeper. Are the fans too loud? | want some 
company. Please." 


3T stepped away once more, and sat on the bench next to the lift. If 
nothing else, he could sleep here, he thought. Maybe use his 
clothes as blankets. That would have been nice enough. He 
drooped under his own weight, and began to nod off before the 
elevator dinged. The doors opened and beckoned him inside. 3T 
sauntered into the tiny room, and the doors closed. The machine 
whirred to life (though fairly silently), and took him up to the topmost 
floor. The doors opened, and he heard all at once the sound of tens 
of fans all going off at once. Myriads of pinwheels were strewn all 
about the room, spinning at incredible speeds and creating a soft 
flapping hum. Percy appeared from behind a corner, wearing only a 
bathrobe and holding a plate with two cups of tea. 


"Chamomile?" Thomas asked in a croaky voice, red eyed and 
cheeks sunken. 


"Dream Catcher Chamomile, tee emm." 


3T took it, and sipped on it. It was already drinking temperature, just 
like any Wondertainment tea. He knew that Pinwheel only kept this 
in stock because he liked it. Percy was a greater fan of Pillow 
Pecker Peppermint™, which 3T knew must have been what she 


was drinking. Her apartment always smelled like peppermint. She 
wouldn't have been a Candy Catalyst without her pervasive 
peppermint smell. She sat down on the couch and patted the seat 
next to her. He sat with her, and they sipped on their tea in the dark. 
Only the sound of wind and pinwheels was present. They enjoyed 
each others warmth and company, and drank in silence. After they 
were done, Pinwheel opened her arms, and 3T clambered on top of 
her and used her right breast as a pillow. She wrapped around him, 
and he closed his eyes. She smelled wonderful. 3T began to frown, 
and shivered. She played with his hair and rubbed his back, nuzzling 
into his forehead and kissing him there. Thomas hugged her tight 
and nuzzled back at her, into her chest. Engulfed in warmth and 
comfort, he spoke. 


"| don't think this world is a happy place." 


They shifted and curled around each other even more, sharing 
emotions wordlessly through strokes and pats and squeezes. She 
knew just what to do with him. Sometimes, 3T thought, Percy knew 
him better than he did. He pulled away only enough to look into her 
eyes, which he could only make out in the darkness as two sparkling 
stars in the corners of her pupils. 


"| want to leave." 
"Where do you want to go?" 
"...| don't know." 


They breathed each other's breaths, felt each other's heat, and 
loved each other's company. They were two links in a chain, 
unbreakable and stronger together. Pinwheel and Thomas fell 
asleep and awoke the next day, bombarded with the news that 
Brainy had been wiped from the earth, and they decided to call in 
sick. 


"Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome to the ring our 
naughtily nautical naked Nereid: Nixie!" 


The bright red curtains pulled back and revealed a large glass dunk 
tank, swimming with piranhas of neon pink and greens. High above 
the tank sat a mermaid, clad in naught but three seafoam bracelets, 
on a wide sky blue diving board with her back to the audience. Many 
an "ooo" and "ahh" emanated from the audience, along with a 
couple nervous squeaks at the harrowing series of events that were 
sure to play out within the next few moments. 


"Not to worry folks, Nixie's an expert at evading serious and 
terrifying problems. | would know, we used to date." 


She turned, waved, and winked, and then pulled herself backwards 
off of the plank and gracefully into the open air. Her rainbow fins 
shimmered and glistened as she spun and pulled off three full back 
flips before diving into the water with not so much as a "sploosh". As 
soon as her first fingers had touched the water, the glowing 
ravenous fish had been magnetized to her position, creating a swift 
moving flesh eating light show that danced within the confines of the 
tank. Nixie didn't stay underwater for more than a split second 
before she had lunged out into the open air above once again 
without a single scratch. She repeated this trick several times in 
quick succession, adding minute flourishes and tricks into her every 
swivel and curve. Almost imperceptibly the cartoonishly curvaceous 
Ringmaster had shimmied onto the edge of the diving board above 
and dropped a large red ball that threatened to disturb the perfectly 
contained dunk pool. Before it could grace the surface of the water 
with its presence, Nixie batted it perfectly back from where it came 
with her tail. The spectacle also tossed a small crowd of neon 
piranhas into the air, which threatened front seat audience members 
into fits of frightful tremors. Thankfully, they fell harmlessly onto a 
small pit of wooden spikes that surrounded the tank, making shish 
kebabs that stage hands quickly picked up and began to cook. 


After the ball was effortlessly kept from its downward descent by 
increasingly spectacular motions, it was sent flying up to the woman 
on the board. The Ringmaster's violet eyes followed the ball as it 
rose above her only for a girl to pop out from under her top hat and 
burst the ball with a pin. After the loud noise that followed and the 


confetti that broke out, something else began to fall. Out of the 
popped ball a long black eel, highlighted with color changing lines 
down its side and on its fins, coiled and twisted and hissed (eels 
hissed?) before splashing into the dunk tank. Nixie, looking 
thoroughly confused and frightened, collided with the frilly oily 
serpent in mid air and fell back into the tank with a slap sound. The 
audience let loose short, wondrous, concerned gasps. The piranhas 
seemed to swarm on a single spot in the tank, and shimmers of the 
golden fins of the eel were caught at glances in the spots between 
the hungry school of fish. For a full four seconds, nothing seemed to 
happen. The crowd was held in horrendous shaking and horror as 
they perceived themselves to be witnessing a horrible carnival 
accident. Suddenly, the piranhas began to circle, yet didn't seem to 
swim — soon, the whole tank was spinning, and the water 
threatened to spill over the sides. Nixie shot out of the very center of 
it, shaking a few fish off of her tail effortlessly onto the shish kebabs 
below. She returned to the whirlpool and swam in circles, leaping 
out while the eel followed her like an iridescent shadow. The crowd 
cheered and hooted and hollered, throwing their voices at Nixie in 
glad celebration and relieved ecstasy. Suddenly, however, Nixie 
looked concerned once more. 


Something distracted her from the uproarious applause and the 
tricks and sports. The eel had given up chase, and the piranhas had 
all gravitated to a dark spot in the water, and — by god, was the 
water turning red? A hand with sharp nails, covered in bites, 
scratches, and blood, shook itself out of the water and tried 
desperately to hang onto something. Nixie acted on instinct and 
dove towards the figure, the crowd continuing unknowingly in their 
obnoxious loud approval. She swam towards the fish feast and 
pulled the eel off of the being's neck, chucking it out of the water and 
up and over onto the skewers. The thing twitched and flailed before 
succumbing to the spiny wooden death. Soon enough, something 
else sputtered out of the water. Nixie, carrying the man with 
piranhas flying off of them, flopped disgracefully onto the side of the 
stage, where she feverishly pulled fish off of (or more likely out of) 
the man in an orange and black pinstripe suit. 


The curtains closed on the emergency, and Nixie heard the 
Ringmaster trying to control the crowd in their confusion. She called 


for Dr. Tinkles while two stage hands came and picked the man out 
of her arms. The man, soaked in his own blood and pricked with 
teeth that had broken off of the fish, coughed and wheezed and 
yelled. 


"I'm so sorry! I'm so so sorry! | didn't mean to interrupt your show! 
You were great! You were -" hack "- so great, keep it up! Ow, HOLY 
jimminy cricket! Gosh diddly CHRISTMAS! I'm really, so — AUGH 
— sorry, fudge! Fiddlesticks, barnacles, CREPE on a STICK and 
call me SUNDAY, GET ME TOA MEDIC!" 


The man moaned and writhed as they brought him out of the tent 
and off into the circus. Nixie pulled herself further off stage and into 
the wings and clambered onto a chair. The bastard had ruined her 
act. What the hell kind of asshole just goes and appears in your tank 
like that? What kind of idiot teleports himself into an aquarium of 
hungry flesh eating fish? A speed walking Man with an Upside-Down 
Face appeared from behind a corner, furrowed brow (though it really 
came off as more of a furrowed chin) and all, inquisitive as ever. 


"What just happened?" 


Nixie took another couple deep breaths, glaring at Manny and 
attempting to regain her composure. 


"Nothing good." 


Nixie grabbed a fish kebab and crunched on the colourfully crispy 
characiforme. 


« Be Strange or Be Forgotten|Dread & Circuses Hub|...And I'm 
the Star! » 


Sometimes the Best Intentions are in Need of 
Redemption 


Pen. 

Pen to paper. 

Pen on paper. 

Pen tapped on paper. 

Polly tapped the pen on the paper. 
Polly tapped the pen. 

On the paper. 

Polly tapped. 

The pen. 

On the paper. 

Polly tapped the pen on the paper. 
Polly tapped the pen on the paper. 
On the paper. 

On the paper. 


This was about the same time that Polly tapped her pen on the 
paper. 


Hey you. 

Yes hello? 

Hey, did you know? 

Know what? 

Well just have | ever told you? 

Uh, what about? 

Well about how Polly tapped her pen on the paper. 


No, uh, no | don't think you've ever told me about that, might you 
elaborate? 


Ah, well, you see. Polly, right? 
Uh-huh. 

She's got a pen, right? 

Right. 

And she also has a piece of paper in front of her — you follow? 
Yeah | follow. 

Okay, here's the hard part... 
I'm listening. 

She uh, so she takes her pen. 
Uh-huh. 

She takes it, and she taps it. 
On what? 


The paper. 


Okay you lost me. 
So | haven't told you about this before? 
| don't believe so. 


Okay, let's take it from the top. So, there's this girl named Polly and 


"Polly?" 


My hand jerked suddenly upward and | smacked myself in the nose, 
which made a soft "honk" as its red puffy surface was so abruptly 
smushed. 


"Oh my are you okay? Oh I'm so sorry!" 


| crouched down and tried to massage the pain out of the bridge of 
my nose. "I'm okay! I'm alright, really." 


"| can go get you some band-aids, or a Boo-Boo Blaster? Tee emm? 
Oh I'm going to call up —" 


"Oh you don't have to! Really.—" 

"Are you sure? It wouldn't take more than —" 

"Yeah I'm sure, | don't want to be a bother —" 

"If you say so, but seriously it would be no trouble —" 
"You're so sweet 3T, but honestly I'm fine, just startled a bit." 
"You absolutely sure?" 

"Absolutely." 

"Really actually? Positively?" 


"Yeah, thank you so much for the consideration but really I'm fine... 


"...50, why did you come over?" 


"Oh uh, just passing by and you were just talking to yourself again 
and | wanted to make sure everything was a-okay, you know? 
Heheheh... Is it?" 


"Yeah, it's —" 

"Is it all okay? Is there anything | can do?" 

"Yeah! It's fine, it's quite alright, I've uh... I've just hit a block." 
"Aww." 

"Yeah, just a hurdle to get over! Nothing serious, nothing —" 
"So sorry to hear that." 

"— worth worrying about, just a —" 

"| really don't like when that happens." 

"— phase that will pass. Uh, how about you?" 

"Oh I'm good! Just uh, finishing up a collaboration with Brainy." 
"Aw, that's cool." 


"Yeah. | mean, I'm going to present it under my name, but really | 
couldn't have done it without him. He's good. One of the goodest 
good Toy Tinkers to have come into our department. He's good, 
Polly. He's real good." 


"| know! It's so cool that you get to work with him." 
"Yeah..." 

"It's real cool." 

"Yeah, yeah it is..." 


| leaned up against my work bench, still pinching my nose with my 
left hand, and smiled at Thomas Timothy Thompson. The happy 


bumbling droning of all the others working on projects in the Toy 
Creation Department, along with the loud whir of their instruments 
and tools, assaulted the ears of all in the great metal hall (if they 
didn't feel like using company provided Too-Much-Stuff Sound 
Pounder Earmmuffs™), and made it hard to hear one another. 


"So... I'm going to get back to my work, Tom." 
"Yeah, your work." 


"Yeah..." Polly looked down at her blank piece of paper. 
work." 


..my 


"...Well okay! I'm going to go head back to my work station." 
"Yeah!" 

"Next to Brainy..." 

"Yeah! See you later, alligator." 

"Yeah you too... I'm always there if you need me!" 
"Yeah!" 

"You know where to find me!" 

"Yeah | do, see you 3T!" 

"See you, have a good day!" 

"| will, take care!" 

"| will, bye!” 

"Bye!" 


3T sulked backwards around the corner of the next workshop over, 
maintaining eye contact and giving an ardent wave. He passed by 
the Super Saws™, the Heck-Hard Hammers™, and the Edge- 
Ripper Hedge-Clippers™ on the tool wall before he disappeared into 
the sawdust and (pink, red and green) smoke of the hall. | smiled at 
him all the way, but as soon as he was out of sight... my waving