Weeks later, he emerged, with a sword in his 
hand, gleaming and mighty. He held it aloft, 
and his power was made manifest. Ghostly 
warriors, heroes from Valhalla stood around 
him, brandishing weapons. We threw 
ourselves on the ground, our heads aching 
with the glory of these Valhalla warriors, and 
this pleased the Meteor Lord. 


For years, when the raids came, we ran in 
supplication to the Meteor Lord. He emerged, 
and all fled from his flashing blade and burning 


One proceeded, a few microseconds later, to 
move downward into the same space as the 
lower one, the magnetic forces prevented 
either one from appropriately vacating the 
space as normal. 

Results: 

The sudden duplication of mass and collision 
of particles within the strong magnetic field 
caused to with the of the upper 
instance, creating | and amassive explosion 
which destroyed the entire locker area. This 
caused a minor containment breach in which 
SCP- killed 8 security personnel before 


being contained. Safe SCPs and 
anomalous items awaiting classification were 
lost. 

Notes: 


Dr. D and Dr. M agree that such 
incidents can be entirely avoided by simply 
spacing out these objects at distances which 
are not multiples of 5 centimeters. In addition, 
the control program has been corrected for all 
remaining containers. 


Note by Dr. D : This raises some interesting 
questions. Clearly these things are dangerous, but 
perhaps only when they are so tightly contained? On a 
game board like SCP-2568-1 they would collide all the 
time, and we have to assume that they were safe 
enough to be played with. 


Addendum 2568-D: Experiment log. 
+ View 
Experiment 2568-D 


Situation: 

Four instances of SCP-2568 were placed on 
SCP-2568-1. D-2568-22 was informed that he 
would be "well rewarded" if he were to 


successfully cause them to collide. After a few 
minutes of getting used to their anomalous 
properties, he managed to maneuver them into 
place on the board. 

Results: 

When any two instances were made to collide, 
the one not moving was bumped out of its 
place in the direction of the moving one, but 
only by one space. When at the edge, both 
simply stopped. How this happens is unknown; 
in theory, the non-moving instance should be 
bumped off the board and continue into free 
space. 

When all four instances were made to collide, 
each emitted a very bright flash of light and all 
four acquired an extreme virtual velocity. Two 
ricochetted around the board until succumbing 
to friction and settling down. One flew off the 
board at an angle and embedded itself in the 
10 cm glass of the observation room, and the 
fourth disappeared. D-2568-22 fell 
unconscious and was declared dead when 
medics entered the chamber; upon attempting 
to move his body, it was discovered that the 
final instance of SCP-2568 had passed 
through his skull and , killing him 
instantly. 

Notes by Dr. D 

Clearly, SCP-2568-1 is capable of controlling 
the virtual velocity of these objects in a way 
that we don't understand. | suggest an 
immediate reclassification of that item as 
anomalous, under a Safe categorization, and a 
good deal of further testing. 


« SCP-2567 | SCP-2568 | SCP-2569 » 


SCP-2569: Blood Lamp 


Item #: SCP-2569 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2569 is stored in an 
unpowered state in a standard secure locker at Site-15. 
Experimentation with SCP-2569 may only be performed with prior 
authorization from Level 3 security personnel and may only be 
performed in a prepared testing chamber. When powered on, no 
more than one (1) personnel may be within the 5 meter Red Zone of 
SCP-2569 except with prior medical clearance and Level 3 Senior 
Researcher authorization. 


Description: SCP-2569 is a "Lava Lite" decorative lamp 
manufactured by the Lava Manufacturing Company circa 1968, and 
is composed of materials consistent with other Lava Lite lamps 
produced during that period of time. SCP-2569 is distinguishable 
from similar appliances by its unusual mass (which is approximately 
21% higher than normal) and lack of an opaque wax solution which 
normally gives such lamps their distinctive appearance. The words 
"we are all blod [sic] relatives" have also been inscribed onto the 
base using pink glitter glue. 


When SCP-2569 is powered on, a small amount of blood 
(approximately 5 mL per minute) is drawn through unknown means 
from the aorta of all living human subjects within approximately 4 
meters and into the glass vessel of the object. This continues until 
the mass of blood present within SCP-2569 reaches the volume of 
wax that is normally present within such lamps, after which blood 
continues to be drawn, but an equal amount is returned to the 
superior vena cava of all affected subjects at an equal rate. Due to 
the heating of the lamp, affected subjects report feeling an unusual 
but not uncomfortable warmth within their chest after SCP-2569 
reaches its cyclical state. When SCP-2569 is disconnected from 
power, all blood contained within it will return to its affected subjects 


at its normal rate of flow, regardless of distance. It is not known why 
blood drawn into SCP-2569 behaves as the normal wax mixture 
does, regardless of the difference in chemical composition. 


SCP-2569 came to the Foundation's attention in 2004 during a 
police investigation of an incident in which a young couple 
discovered SCP-2569 while searching in the attic of the husband's 
deceased parents’ home. From post-incident interviews, it was 
determined that they had found SCP-2569 among the parents' 
stored possessions and had powered on the object to test whether it 
still functioned. The female subject was determined via medical 
records to have Type AB-positive blood type; the male subject was 
determined to be of Type O-negative, and he died of massive acute 
hemolytic reactions to his wife's blood leading to acute renal failure 
and cardiac arrest. All witnesses were administered a Class A 
amnestic and the official cause of death falsified under standard 
disinformation protocols; a search of the home turned up no 
additional anomalies. 


« SCP-2568 | SCP-2569 | SCP-2570 » 


SCP-2570: MCA and Heartbreak 


Item #: SCP-2570 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2570-1 and -2 are 
currently contained on a 5-meter radius circular Pyrex platform in the 
Site-42 Extradimensional Containment Zone. A system of stereos 
and loudspeakers that constantly play Kanye West's musical albums 
The College Dropout and My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy (ina 
staggered format so that there is no pause in the music) is to be 
arranged in a 4-meter radius around SCP-2570. A backup system 
should be placed in a 6-meter radius around SCP-2570-1, and is to 
be moved into the 4-meter radius should the primary speaker 
system fail. The stereos and speakers are to be tied directly to the 
Site-42 nuclear power plant, and a backup generator must be in 
place in case of a blackout. 


Minor Task Force Aleph-16 ("Kenny Rogers' Roaster") is to be on 
standby to execute Procedure Aleph-16 in the event of complete 
speaker failure. 


A biological facsimile of Adam Yauch has been placed at the original 
gravesite. 


Description: SCP-2570-1 is the body of former musician Adam 
"MCA" Yauch of the musical group "Beastie Boys". Aside from not 
having decayed since Yauch's death in 2012, SCP-2570-1 is non- 
anomalous. 


SCP-2570-2 is a spiral dimensional rift located exactly five meters 
above SCP-2570-1's head, and will move with it. Periodically, 
incorporeal entities will attempt to exit through SCP-2570-2. These 
entities constantly exude a corrosive substance around them. 
Objects affected by this corrosion (including air) separate into their 
component parts before either dissolving or condensing into an 


equally corrosive liquid, further spreading the effect. As a result, the 
general area around SCP-2570-1 is usually engulfed in the 
corrosion. Pyrex glass, SCP-2570-1, and SCP-2570-3 are the only 
known objects unaffected by this corrosion. This process emits no 
sound. 


The entities themselves are drawn towards human beings, and will 
attempt to make contact with any human within the vicinity of 
SCP-2570-2. Any and all animals that come into contact with the 
entities become instances of SCP-2570-3. Instances of SCP-2570-3 
adopt major characteristics of the entities, gaining resistance to the 
corrosion and experiencing extreme changes to their personality. 
Human instances claim to be an entity that calls itself Anseem. 
Animal instances will gain the ability to speak in what appears to be 
Pali! and then also claim to be said entity. All instances of 
SCP-2570-3, whether human or animal, express a desire to enslave, 
loot, or otherwise adversely affect this reality and its inhabitants, and 
refuse to communicate beyond declaring said intentions. 


External acoustic rhythms have a negative effect on SCP-2570, its 
corrosion, and instances of SCP-2570-3. The rift either ceases 
expansion or begins contraction depending on the tempo, pitch, and 
tone of the sound in its vicinity. In particular, any music featuring the 
voice of musician Kanye West has a strongly negative effect on 
SCP-2570. West's voice also halts the corrosion, causing an inverse 
process where the corrosive liquid is recompiled into its original 
substance and/or retreats back into the rift. Instances of 
SCP-2570-3 are neutralized and reverted to their original selves. 
However, complete closing of the rift has been unsuccessful. 


Addendum: Recovery Log 

SCP-2570 was first recovered on 04/04/18 in Brooklyn, New York 
when the Foundation intercepted reports of pools of acid and 
incorporeal entities stemming from Green-Wood Cemetery, 
specifically from a "purple, swirling portal in the cemetery". Local 
Task Force Gimel-9 ("The Ungrateful Dead") moved to contain the 
anomaly. At the scene, they encountered a married couple, Tricia 
and Arthur Prefect, who had already established basic containment 
of SCP-2570 using a rudimentary version of the protocols outlined 
above and were in the process of packing up their equipment. 


Addendum: Interview with Tricia and Arthur Prefect 


Foreword: This interview was conducted on- 
site by the leader of LTF Gimel-9, Douglas 
Fook. Mr. and Mrs. Prefect provided all 
insights on containing SCP-2570. Following 
the interview, the Prefects' equipment was 
confiscated, and they were given Class-A 
amnestics and released. Emotional responses 
such as crying, hiccuping, and stuttering have 
been edited out to enhance comprehension. 


Fook: Tricia and Arthur Prefect? We would 
like to speak with you regarding the events 
that just occurred. 


Tricia: Hold on, are you the police? Because if 
you are, then | want my lawyer. 


[IRRELEVANT DATA EXPUNGED] 


Tricia: My name is Tricia Jeltz. I'm an 
orthodontist, and this is my husband slash 
assistant, Arthur Prefect. We run Prefect 
Perfect Dentistry, a dentistry clinic in the 
Bronx. We're here - well, were here - to revive 
Adam Yauch. 


Fook: How is that related to the events that 
just transpired? 


Tricia: Well, it's exactly like | said. We tried to 
revive Adam Yauch from the dead using... | 
suppose... musical necromancy? 


Fook: Again, please explain. We have plenty 
of time. 


Tricia: See, we're big fans of the Beastie 
Boys. Own all the albums, collector's edition, 
gold-plated vinyl, digitally remastered edition, 


you name it, we got it. Been to almost every 
one of their concerts too. We were incredibly 
excited for their newest - um, not anymore, but 
upcoming album Hot Sauce Committee back 
in 2009. But then MCA got throat cancer... and 
died. It's not right - they had so much more 
music to give! 


Arthur: At the time, I'd started reading 
Lovecraft and Stephen King and getting into, 
um, ‘dark arts' and the like. | kept reading 
these stories about reviving the dead, you 
know, like Pet Sematary or, or... um, yeah, like 
that. So | got to thinking... what if we could 
revive him? Bring him back from the dead? | 
started Googling around, and wouldn't you 
know it, | found tons of guides on raising the 
dead. Most of them were useless... but after a 
few months, | found one that worked! Sort of. 


Fook: Could you please explain your plan to 
revive Mr. Yauch? 


Arthur: I'm really sorry; | don't know the steps 
off the top of my head. | printed something like 
ten pages of instructions from online. But the 
gist of it was we were going to attract his soul 
to the body with his music and then trap it. 


Fook: Where did you locate these 
instructions? 


Arthur: Honestly, | don't really remember. | 
had the pages and | think they had the website 
name on them - but the pages got sucked into 
the... uh, they got sucked into the portal. | 
mean, the instructions worked - or | guess they 
would have worked, if | hadn't - if | hadn't 
screwed up with the music. 


Fook: Please explain how you... ‘screwed up.' 


Arthur: | accidentally played the Beach Boys 
instead of Beastie Boys. It was an honest 
mistake! 


Tricia: Right after Arthur fucked up the music, 
everything went wrong. Some kind of portal 
opened up over MCA's head and then these... 
green ghosts popped out! They were oozing 
everywhere, melting everything into this awful 
green acid. And they kept on wailing. 
Everyone and everything, even the birds and 
the possums were squealing in this awful 
voice! It was terrifying! 


Fook: The entities currently appear to be 
contained within the circle. How did you 
accomplish this? Do you know anything about 
the entities themselves? 


Arthur: |'m not really sure. All | know is that | 
dropped my, um, iPod, and my Kanye West 
playlist started playing over the speakers, and 
then the ghosts and the acid started pulling 
back into the portal. | don't know what they 
are, sorry, the instructions never mentioned 
anything about ghosts, that much | know! | 
mean, | guess they don't like Kanye West, but 
that's it! 


Fook: Why were you packing up your 
equipment? 


Arthur: Well, uh... | mean, um. | guess - | 
mean - um, well, we... were going to leave? 


Fook: What were you planning to do about the 
portal, MCA, and the entities? 


Tricia: Um, we kind of figured that the 
authorities would be able to take care of it, 
right? | mean, you're here now, and you look 


ready to take care of it. 
Fook: Do you know where the portal leads? 


Tricia: | don't know. It's definitely not heaven, 
but MCA didn't belong to hell. 


Footnotes 

1. A dead language native to the Indian subcontinent, heavily 
studied due to its usage as the primary language of major extant 
Buddhist texts. 


« SCP-2569 | SCP-2570 | SCP-2571 » 


eyes. We marked the way to the Meteor Lord's 
home with the cairn stones. 


During the battle of [unintelligible], the Meteor 
Lord's fall came. His powers failed him, and 
Odin recalled him to Valhalla. We buried him 
with all the honor we could muster, and 
fashioned a conduit for the great storms from 
Thor. On stormy nights, the heroes still come 
and watch over our village, their glory splitting 
the head of any man who dare look upon 
them. 


Addendum B 


Prepared by the Department 
of Exo-Linguistics 


Tracing back from the story presented in the included 
writings, Foundation agents tracked down the "meteor" 
mentioned in the epic translated by Dr. Olafsson. 
Excavating the object in question led to an almond- 
shaped craft made of an unknown material. Research 
regarding this craft can be found in Document R27-287. 


Within the craft, several records were found, written in an 
unknown language upon crude paper. It is hypothesized 
that this is some kind of journal of SCP-287-1. 


An exact translation is nearly impossible; however, using 
[REDACTED] a partial translation has been attempted: