That season had been one of our best in decades. Coach Simmons 
didn't say it, because he didn't want to jinx it, but | could tell he 
thought we'd finally make it. Things hadn't been the same since 
Coach Wilson went missing, or so I'd been told, but things had been 
looking up after a decades-long losing streak. Sometimes, it felt like 
the whole world was conspiring to prevent us from getting to the 
Sugar Bowl. 


And then, at that moment, | had the ball, and I... Oh my god, | was 
almost miles ahead of the guys from the other team. There was only 
one play left in the game, and we only needed one touchdown to get 
ahead and put us on the fast track to the Sugar Bowl. My heart was 
pounding, and my feet flying. I'd never felt this way during a game 
before. | knew | was going to make it. 


| ran just a few more yards and crossed into the End Zone. 
Touchdown. We'd won. We'd finally made it. We were going to the 
Sugar Bowl. 


And then | died. 


(Solved!) 


Round 24: Amuness Creeps 


| rose out of the ocean. | escaped all of my fears and troubles. The 
surface was not as bad as the deep, dark ocean. | finally escaped. | 
drowned. | was supposed to die. 


In the distance, | found a light. | swam towards that light as fast as | 
could. | was completely dizzy and my lungs were filled with sea 
water. But, | don't care. In the mist was a light and it was the only 
thing | could see. 


This house...was it my house? No. | quickly entered the house and 
slammed the door. | couldn't hear it. It must have left... 


"Honey!" my mother said behind me. | looked at her and she looked 
at me. "Listen, you've been out for hours! We're gonna have a small 
party because you're relatives are here!" | looked into the living 
room. She was right. They waved at me. | waved back. 


"Mom, r-really | um...! need to change out of my clothes." 
"Of yes of course!" she said. "It's been raining for hours!" 


"N-no mom I..." 


This was too weird. | got out of there and | headed up to my room. | 
heard something breathing behind me as | went up the stairs. A loud 
breathing and grunting. Aggravated grunting. | turned around and 
saw aman. He was completely burned and his bones were showing 
through his skin. 


"Mom!" | yelled. 
"Yes honey?" she replied. 


"There's some man here and...wh-what is he?! Mom, who is this 
guy!?" 


"Oh that's Peter, Sweety! He's here to have dinner with us!" 


He screamed like a demon at me. | noticed that he was trying to 
come towards me. "Stay back!" He screamed much louder and he 
ran towards me, screaming. 


And then | died. 


(Solved!) 


Round 25: BOXER9999 


It was dark. The stars shone dimly through the clouds that 
enveloped the skies around my ship. A glance to the side window of 
the control cabin revealed the whirling Pacific ocean under me. 


| just had recorded my last words, the only archive which will speak 
of my effort fighting the enemy. My soon to be death did not bother 
me though. No, it was the fact that | had failed my mission that really 
saddened me. | had failed and my enemy will continue to terrorize 
earth. 


Again and again, | had tried to destroy my nemesis. Half a century 
after the beginning of my mission and | had stayed at the same 
point. Oh things had changed of course. The crew for example; once 
they were all like me, men made of flesh and blood. But now they 
were things resembling the enemy in almost every way. But my 


superiors had told me that the appearance of the crew wasn't my 
business, and | always followed all my orders and so | stopped 
thinking about these strange companions. 


As my mind slipped in and out of consciousness a vague memory 
stirred through my mind. It had been a cold night very much like this 
one. He had encountered a few strange flying vehicles with which he 
was trying to communicate. But then his enemy appeared attacking 
my vessel and destroying a couple of the strange ships. However 
the strange vessel who did survive helped defeating the enemy that 
day; the serpent had fled their combined firepower. A smile crossed 
my lips as | recalled that encounter. It had been a good battle, anda 
worthy ally. But soon my grim demeanor came back as | 
remembered what was my task today. 


Standing up from my chair, | felt the feeling of exhilaration | always 
had when looking at my vessel's command board. Then | slowly 
walked to my living quarters, there | looked for a moment at the 
objects who brought back my memories: the picture of me with my 
old crew mates; the one we had took on V-day.. On the walls my old 
stuffed hunting trophies hanged, while my trusty navigation maps lay 
on the table.. Then slowly, as | regarded these remains | calmly took 
my weapon and pointed it towards my head. 


No, | suddenly thought. This is not how | will end. At first thinking 
hesitantly, my thoughts quickly resolved what | wanted to do. 


First | broke my weapon with my hands; | thought | had heard once 
that when disbanded a soldier shouldn't give away his weapon. 
Then | calmly went back to the instrument board, sitting on my 
command chair in which | sat, staring at the dark night. 


And then | died. 


(Solved!) 


Round 26: sirpudding 


"What a beautiful day for a war!" | said, laughing. "Have some of the 


umbidvo wetintsanga, please. After we conclude this you gentlemen 
simply must stay for the Reed Dance, as my guests." 


"| would be delighted, Your Majesty," said Cardinal Langa. 


"Unfortunately, | won't be able to stay that long, Your Majesty", said 
Agent Bekker, "They need me to fly to the States to report on 
today's test. My sincere apologies." 


"It is nothing, Kerk, | will send you an invitation for next year. | will 
insist upon it, in fact. | will tell them you work very hard and need a 
holiday," | said, slapping the man's shoulder, "They cannot refuse 
my request, after all, | am King. Well, let us get this over with so we 
can enjoy the rest of the day, eh? | have the document here. Agent 
Bekker, does this fulfill the requirements? Good! | will sign it then. 
And ... there! Here, Your Eminence, as you can see | have officially 
declared war. | must now ask for your immediate surrender, with no 
conditions, other than that you admit defeat." 


"Thank you, Your Majesty. As you can see, | have been empowered 
by His Holiness to negotiate on his behalf in this matter, and | 
Officially surren ... Your Majesty! Are you well? Are you choking?" 


And then | died. 


(Solved!) 


Round 27: minmin 


The motor died on the 24th. The radios went soon after. Then the 
generator sputtered to a stop as the fuel ran out, and we drifted 
silently in the moonlit sea. 


It was four in the morning on the 26th when Skipper woke me up. 
"Jo, Jo, you have to see this." | follow him blearily to the hold, sallow 
torchbeams lighting our way. There is a trickling sound of water. He 
squats down and shows me the source: a small, perfectly circular 
hole has been punched in neatly about two inches above the floor. 
The edges aren't ragged - they bend in smoothly like butter. Skipper 
turns to me with a worried look on his face. "Well? What do you 


think?" 


"| think we should patch this up," | tell him nonchalantly. | don't bring 
up the fact that directly across the room, a round, black mark has 
been burnt into the wall. | inspect it when Skipper leaves to find his 
tools, and find that it's still warm. 


We find several more over the next few days. They're always small, 
always impossibly round. Skipper tries to set up a shift system, both 
of us keeping watch on the hold, but it never quite works out. 
Meanwhile, | busy myself most of the time trying to get the radio to 
work. It remains dumb, taunting us with the occasional burst of 
static. 


It happened on the 31st. We're down to our last box of batteries and 
Skipper goes to check the hold again to find some to salvage, when 
we both hear a sharp cracking sound. It's coming from portside. | 
run over and peer over the railings, only to see a bright beam of 
green arc from the sea and cut across the deck like a searchlight. 
Below me, strange lights rove in the deep. "Skipper! Get the 
lifeboat!" | find myself crying out. He's yelling too, but | can't make 
out the words. 


There's another sharp crack. The floor beneath me lurches as more 
green arcs tear from the water and cut through the deck like hot 
wires through wax. | run for the lifeboat and in my panic, | almost 
think | see small grey fins and large, white eyes darting in the water. 
More lights. Crrrrrack. 


And then | died. 
(Solved!) 


Round 28: sirpudding 


"Peace be upon you, my friend. | thank you for the generous 
hospitality of your home," | said. 


"Think nothing of it, my motivations are entirely selfish. | intend for 
you to make me wealthy," said Luzio, laughing. 


"God willing, this will make us both wealthy, my friend!" | said. 


"Good news then, | went over the plans you sent me with my cousin 
the mason and we think we can build your irrigation channels 
without much trouble. Now that you have rested, we shall break our 
fast and then | would like to take you see the orchard. Are we 
agreed?" 


"lam eager to begin, honestly. | did not come all the way from 
Kairouan to sit in your lovely home. Perhaps we can eat as we 
walk? " | replied. 


"Khalid, you warm my heart with your eagerness to make me a 
wealthy man! Yes, | will have Donna pack up some bread and olives 
for us and we will set forth within the hour. Let me tell you, my 
blessed father might come down from Heaven and strike me, but | 
think being conquered by Saracen Ifriqiya was the best thing to 
happen to this city." 


We chatted pleasantly as we walked north through the city, Donna 
Carmino's bread was delicious and warm and the fresh orchard 
olives juicy and piquant. We stopped at the basilica, so that Luzio 
could get a blessing for this venture, | made a note of the location of 
the mosque for evening prayers, and then we crossed the river. 


Suddenly, Luzio turned to me and shouted, "What the hell? You 
baby-burning son of a bitch! How many innocent babes did you 
shovel into that brazen gullet, eh?" With a swift motion, he drew his 
dagger and stabbed me again and again in the road. 


And then | died. 


(Unsolved!) 


Round 29: sirpudding 


It was a fluke that | survived at all and that was likely to be 
temporary. The storm that had capsized me also drove me far to the 
south into the Antarctic circle. The boat righted itself, but the masts 
were lost, the radio hopelessly destroyed, and | lost the emergency 


beacon when | tried to use it, swept overboard. 


| got the generator working at least, and | managed to keep warm 
and avoid hypothermia, but the farther south that | drifted the more 
likely that | would run out of fuel and freeze to death. At least it was 
summer and the days were long. 


As | drifted closer to the Antarctic coast, | scanned the horizon for 
any sign of human activity, though the odds of having randomly 
drifted near one of the research stations in the whole of a continental 
coastline aren't great. 


Then | saw in the distance, a dozen regular round shapes. Those 
had to be geodesic domes! | started to allow myself to hope. Even 
the current seemed to be on my side as it pushed me inexorably in 
that direction. 


As | washed ashore, | fired off a flare. | had enough fuel to maybe 
keep me alive for a few hours. Exhausted, | fell asleep. 


| was awoken by the sound of a helicopter, and | quickly scrambled 
outside, frantically waving at the circling aircraft. 


Suddenly there was the crack of a gunshot. 
And then | died. 
(Solved!) 


Round 30: Dexanote 


I’ve just been feeling... better lately. It’s hard to explain, I’m just... 
happier. I’m not so nervous or sad any more and | guess the world 
just feels better. 


After moving out here, | got over myself pretty fast and got in touch 
with a couple of the clubs out in town. There’s a lot of stuff out here, 
| had no idea. And the house is perfect for having little parties, the 
basement’s almost finished and the den has a bunch of old- well 
actually it’s not even that old, it’s a little worn but it’s perfectly good 


furniture. Even a pool table. Little too drafty though, | keep getting 
chills and the air’s way too dry. The humidifier is working well 
enough but | really need to get the furnace replaced. I'll see if Bill 
can take a look at it tomorrow. 


Oh, doorbell. Good. Work party tonight, just because. Couldn’t 
resist, made a bunch of cookies and stuff - | actually just took up 
baking, I’ve been on a bit of a sweet tooth kick lately, getting really 
really good at it too. People love cookies, I’ve met tons of new 
people just bringing cookies every week to work. Bowling night’s 
next Thursday, people will meet and warm up here before going out 
- it’s a great central place. 


Little tired, but that’s alright... Oh, new faces. | wonder if they have 
time for a quick bite, the cookies smell great... 


... They're yelling... 


... Why am | so ANGRY? 


... and then | died. 


(Unsolved!) 


Footnotes: 


+ Click here to learn how to guess! 


To guess, send a Wikidot PM only to one of the three 
judges by clicking their name here: Decibelles, 
djkaktus, Of Dexanote. (Do note that at this time, 
only Decibelles is the judge for this game.) Make the 
subject "Round [Number] Guess". They'll let you know if 
you've guessed correctly by the end of the time period. 
You only get one guess, so make sure you think you're 


right before you take a swing at it! If you win, then 
congrats! You get to write the next one. Have fun! 


Using only their knives and their hands, all members of Group B will 
begin to consume the bodies of Group A. Every thirty minutes, they 
will wash their hands using the PVC basins. The meal will last for 
three hours, until all the basins have been used. Group B will return 
to their homes after the meal is finished. Employees will burn the 
remains of Group A using the same [DATA EXPUNGED] mixture 
used previously. After the completion of all activity, members of 
Group B will behave normally. Most members have a somewhat 
inaccurate recollection of the evening's events. 


Customer reviews of SCP-785-2 have typically skyrocketed after this 
event. 


Addendum-785A: Despite the Foundation’s best efforts to remove 
SCP-785-1 from public knowledge, instances of SCP-785-2 continue 
to arise. It appears to be impossible to apprehend all civilians who 
unwittingly spread SCP-785-1; furthermore, the possibility of a 
deliberate third-party propagation of SCP-785-1 cannot be 
eliminated. 


« SCP-784 | SCP-785 | SCP-786 » 


And Then, Kit Slept 


It was the bright colours of the tattoo that caught his attention. 


On the back of her neck, were two eyes. They were different colours 
- ‘heterochromia iridum’ his brain supplied, seeking out the word 
against the litres of cider and the different coloured pills that rattled 
inside — and they were staring right at him. 


To be fair, they were staring at everyone in the bus station, but Kit 
could have sworn that the eyes only had eyes for him. 


There was nothing else particularly striking about this passerby that 
would mark her out against the deluge of people who had come past 
as he waited for his ten-to-eleven bus, which was now meant to be 
at eleven twenty-one. She kept her hair shaven fully on one side, 
and long on the other, just grazing her shoulder in length. 


It reminded him of graffiti he had seen once in Brighton. Sanctioned 
graffiti — the worst kind. She — the subject of the graffiti was the 
same as the girl who had just passed, only her hair was longer and 
a different colour and she probably had a different face, so she 
wasn't really like the girl at all so much as she was just painted onto 
a building to appeal to both men and women alike.