Robert didn’t scream, but rather let loose a sort of guttural moan. 
One half of his brain yelled at him, turn the hell around, get your ass 
out of there, whatever did this to her will be back to get you, and the 
other half of his brain demanded he make sure she wasn’t actually 
dead. Robert thought this was a stupid notion, since she was 
thoroughly torn in half. So, he turned around and headed for the 
door. He didn’t get very far. 


The third obstacle looked like a man. That’s as far as the similarities 
got. Instead of clothing or even skin, the thing was pitch black. It was 
blocking the exit, and sensing Robert approach, lifted its head, 
revealing a swirling chaos of shifting features. Eyes would appear 
and disappear; a nose might expose itself only to be replaced by the 
black void. It stretched a hand out as a mouth appeared on its head. 
The hand grew longer and more distorted as the mouth opened, 
revealing a set of gums but not teeth. 


What the fuck is that. Robert wasn’t exactly the worlds quickest 
thinker, but he could recognize a bad situation when he saw it. He 
chucked his briefcase at the creature but watched as it sailed past 
and crashed into the door. The thing turned and reached for the 
briefcase. Robert could only watch as it pawed at the clasp. Finding 
purchase it ripped the two sides apart and the contents spilled to the 
floor. 


Robert didn’t stick around to join the briefcase. He booked it towards 
the back end of the office. Almost immediately his chest began to 
burn, and his legs threatened to spill out from under him. He hadn’t 


been in shape before the car accident, and the injuries had left their 
mark on his physical abilities. He kept going, balancing his longing 
to stop with his desire to not die. Passing the conference room, he 
didn’t pause to look inside. He could see the blood on the walls. 


He ducked inside the closest bathroom door, which happened to be 
the women’s and locked the door. Hiding inside the last stall, Robert 
lifted his feet up and huddled on the toilet. Taking a few moments to 
inhale he was struck by the absurdity of the situation. /’m an office 
man goddammit, he thought, this isn’t supposed to happen to people 
like me. 


The image of Julia, mother of three, all ripped up sent him diving for 
the toilet. It was now that the tears began to flow. /’m going to die 
here. Oh God in heaven I’m going to die here. 


For the next half hour Robert alternated between shrill crying and 
silent weeping. Every time he thought he had run out of tears, his 
body proved him wrong. Maybe it left, maybe that thing decided to 
le- aslam on the bathroom door interrupted him, followed by a 
piercing screech like nails on a chalkboard. Remembering Julia and 
the briefcase, Robert braced himself. But the door never opened. He 
could hear the door handle jingle a little, then silence. 


Now that the tears had stopped flowing, Robert decided to think 
about the position he was in. You are a natural problem solver, he 
remembered Henderson telling him after an enormous client pitch 
went south. / have no doubt you'll rise to the occasion. And Robert 
was mad. He clenched his fists in a somewhat dramatic fashion. He 
was an obese man in his late 40’s, reduced to hiding in a women’s 
restroom. But he was alive, and safe for now. Not only that, but the 
creature outside hadn’t displayed any clear signs of intelligence. 
Maybe I’ve got a chance after all. He had no idea how fast it could 
move, but the fact that it hadn’t caught him during his escape was a 
source of hope. Calling for help on the phone would be too risky. 
The bathroom had no windows, so there was no chance of getting 
assistance that way. The front door is my only way out, he thought. 
He stood up and stepped out the stall. 


There was a knock on the bathroom door. The door handle shook a 
little, but the lock held tight. Then a voice. 


“Can | help you... there’s something...wrong.” Robert almost 
screamed. That was Susan the receptionists voice. It sounded 
stilted and unnatural, but there was no mistaking. “Robert... 
please...she’s dead.” 


All his earlier bravado vanished. The corner floor of the restroom 
suddenly felt very comfortable. The thing that sounded like Susan 
moaned behind the door. Then fell quiet. 


Robert's wristwatch displayed the time: 11:00a.m. He stayed in the 
corner for the rest of the afternoon, only getting up to drink out of the 
sink. His thoughts flipped from hyperactive rambling to shocked 
silence. And as time went on his mind began to drift... 


Agent Calverez tossed the ball. It hit his small office wall and fell 
straight to the floor. 


“Goddamit.” 
A bald head peeked inside the open door. “No bounce huh?” 
“Of course not. These are pieces of shit.” 


“Don’t let Donsley hear you say that. She submitted the idea for the 
stress ball distribution.” 


Calverez sighed and rubbed the back of his head. “Of course she 
did.” 


Agent Alexi stepped into the office proper. “Look, this may be 
premature, but I’ve got something interesting. One of our boys 
picked up a local security guy. Says he works for an office complex 
in the sticks. He’s been ranting about some weird shit going on.” 


Calverez leaned forward. “Are you serious? That’s the best you’ve 
got?” 


Alexi smiled. “It’s a little more interesting than that. According to the 
guard, the employees of one of the offices have locked themselves 
in. He can’t open the door with his key, almost like its jammed from 
the other side. Nobody replied when he knocked on the door, and 


from the parking lot it looks like the lights are off too. But he swears 
he can see something moving around in there.” 


“So? Maybe they went home.” 


The smile got bigger. “While leaving their cars at the office?” 


...until he awoke with a start. His wristwatch was beeping at him. It 
was 4:55. Time to start packing up and go home. 


“This is my new home now.” He muttered to himself. “I get to live 
where | work, and work where | live!” This caused him to laugh out 
loud. Oh God I’m losing it. 


A knock on the door. 


“Go away.” Robert managed to croak out. 


“Hey buddy, |’m just checking up on you. Its closing time you know.’ 
Robert sat up alert. That was Mike, the accountant. He was still 
alive! A thousand thoughts bounced around in his skull. Maybe he 
had come in late, and the monster had left; maybe he had survived 
and come back with help; maybe this was all just a horrific 
nightmare he had just woken up from... 


He reached for the door handle but stopped. There was a sound 
coming from behind the door. It was wet. 


“Hey Mike, are you okay?” He asked through the door. 


There was a laugh. It lasted too long to be comfortable. “Of course 
I’m okay Robert. What, do you think I’m lying to you?” More 
laughter. 


“No, it’s just that there’s been some stran-” Robert wasn’t able to 
finish before Mike’s voice started to scream at him. 


“WHAT, DO YOU THINK I’M ACTUALLY A DISMEMBERED HEAD 
BEING PUPPETTED AROUND? ROBERT THAT IS JUST SILLY!” 


Blood was beginning to seep in under the door. Robert was already 


back in his stall. Despite his best effort, the tears would not come. 


Outside the door, the thing that sounded like Mike began to count. It 
reached 4,000 before stopping. 


The four agents met in the briefing room. Agent Levi brought 
snacks. Finishing his donut, Alexi laid out the info they had so far. 
Donsley looked over everything with extreme scrutiny. Finally, she 
nodded. “It’s at least worth checking out.” 


“Not like we got anything better to do” Calverez muttered. 
“’m sorry, | didn’t catch that.” 
“Nothing ma’am. Are local police incapable of handling this?” 


“Alexi and | both agreed that if we suspect anomalous activity, we 
are obligated to check it out.” 


They laid out their plan. Agents Levi and Alexi would sweep up to 
the fifth floor, checking the other stories as they went. Agents 
Donsley and Calverez would remain to secure the parking lot until 
backup was needed. 


After the briefing, Donsley set out to gain final approval from the 
director. The others began gearing up. And then they waited. She 
wasn’t back for another hour. No one asked what took so long. They 
were used to glacial efficiency. 


God bless the American tax dollar, Calverez thought. Then they hit 
the road. 


It was Saturday afternoon when the voices started up again. There 
would be a knock on the door, followed by another one of Robert’s 
co-workers. 


“Hey sweetie, why don’t you come out here with us?” It sounded like 
Julia. 


“It’s lonely out here without you. I’m so cold inside.” Offered Alex 


from HR. 


Even Henderson joined in. “Robert, I’m disappointed in you. You 
were always such a team player. Do you not care about us 
anymore?” 


Calverez and Donsley argued the entire trip there. It started when 
she asked him why he kept checking his rear-view mirror. 

“Spooks” Uncomfortable shuffling. 

“Does that happen often?” Donsley regretted not going for two vans. 
“Sure. Just ask Alexi. He lost three Carts to them last month alone.” 
Alexi’s voice drifted out from the back. “It’s true.” 

Levi’s voice followed. “Anybody want some trail mix?” 


Calverez slammed his hands on the wheel. “For the last time, 
nobody wants your fucking snacks!” 


Donsley almost slapped him. “Don’t talk to your fellow agents like 
that!” 


He turned around, taking his eyes off the road for what Donsley 
thought was a dangerous amount of time. “You do not get to tell me 
what to do. I’m the senior agent here, not you.” 


“Then what the hell is your problem?” 


His eyes darted back to the road. When he spoke, his voice was 
low. “We are driving, in the middle of the night, to do an office check. 
Sure, we might find something, but I’m willing to bet the entire office 
just drank the Kool-Aid. Don’t get me wrong, I’m thrilled to be out in 
the field. But an office locked from the inside? How am | supposed 
to take any of this seriously? And for that matter, why do you?” 


Donsley sensed there was more to it than that, but she let it go. 
They sat in awkward silence for a while. 


“Hey, Levi...” Calverez’s voice was soft. “I’m sorry. | didn’t mean to 
say that.” 


“It's okay. I’m sure you were just hungry.” 


Overnight the voices began working. They pretended to hear a 
phone ringing, and Susan would answer. Papers were shuffled, and 
the copy machine even went off a few times. Henderson would call 
random employees into his office and praise them while disparaging 
Robert. They all did this as loud as possible, for Robert’s benefit. But 
he was done listening at this point. 


At midnight, blackened fingers could be seen pushing chocolate 
cake under the bathroom door. There was a loud knock, and in 
unison all the voices began to sing. 


“Happy Birthday to you.” 

“Happy Birthday to you.” 

“Happy Birthday dear Robert.” 

“Happy Birthday to you.” 

There was an applause, followed by cries for an encore. The singing 
began again. This time Robert joined in. 

Agent Calverez lit another cigarette. It was his second since pulling 
into the lot. He spoke into his walkie. 


“For the love of God please tell me you aren’t still waiting for the 
elevator.” 


In response, a curtain moved aside from a third story window. A 
man in a blue suit appeared, then promptly gave him the finger. 
Calverez chuckled. 


“I gotcha, | gotcha. Keep searching.” He told the walkie. “Asshole”. 


His cigarette was snatched from his mouth. A polished shoe 


stamped it out. 
“Do you think this is a joke, Agent?” Donsley asked. 


Of course | do, Agent Hardass, he thought. “Um, no ma’am. I’m 
taking this very seriously.” 


“Oh? Because you are making it easy assume the opposite.” 


Calverez sighed, perhaps too loudly. Donsley opened her mouth to 
retort, but he was saved by the squawking of the walkie. 


“Ground team, ground team, come in ground team.” 
Donsley grabbed his walkie. “Report, away team.” 


“Hey, we’ve got some shit on the fifth floor. Blood all over, right 
outside an office called Henderson and Co.” 


She raised a sharp eyebrow at Calverez. “Hold your position, we are 
coming up.” The walkie barked affirmative. “Looks like our lead paid 
off.” 


Our lead is the building security guard you dipshit, Calverez thought. 
But only to himself. 


The two agents pulled free their handguns and moved into the 
lobby. Donsley motioned towards the stairs and pulled the door 
open. Calverez swept in and took the lead. They moved up the 
stairs in silence, up to the fifth floor. Right before Calverez could 
open the stairwell door, he felt a hand on his arm. He turned to face 
Donsley. 


She came right out and said it. “What’s your problem Tony, huh? Is 
it me? | Know we haven't worked together long, but | don’t think I’ve 
been that much of a bitch to warrant this attitude.” 


“Are you serious? Is now really the best time for this?” 


“I’m not going in there until we hash this out. Otherwise we might as 
well be on opposite teams.” 


Calverez felt his hands ball up. It took restraint to not shout in the 
cramped stairwell. 


“You wanna know my problem? Fine, I'll tell you. This is a joke. This 
mission, this job, its all a fucking act. We literally exist as the butt of 
someone else’s joke. When it comes to this paranormal shit, we 
aren't even the fucking b-team. Most of our job is to sit on our asses 
and wait for the fucking goon squad to show up and solve our 
problems for us.” He inhaled. “I could give less of a shit what you 
think of me, since | know we only work here because we pissed 
someone else off enough for them to kick us into the ground. This 
isn’t a job. It’s not even an assignment. It’s a fucking punishment.” 


He didn’t expect the smile. Her reply was soft. “Have you considered 
| act the way | do because | want us to do better? | Know our 
reputation. But | also Know you aren't a screw up. Nor am I. At some 
point in our careers, we cared. About this country, about the Bureau, 
hell, even each other. We're a joke because someone told us we 
were, and we believed it. Sure, we can mope around all day waiting 
for the men in black to kick us out, or we can do something 
ourselves.” She pointed at the door. “In there, we’ve got some kind 
of fucked up freak doing God knows what. There might even be 
survivors. They are counting on us.” 


Calverez felt his defenses weaken. How long had it been since 
someone had actually expressed hope, had believed in their 
mission? At some point or another he must have cared. Why else 
would he have wrapped himself in this cloak of skepticism if not to 
pretend otherwise. His eyes began to tear up, so he wiped them on 
his sleeve. 


He tried to open his mouth to speak, but no words came to him. 
Donsley continued. “You wanna know what else? | didn’t ask the 
director for permission.” Calverez started at this one. “We are all on 
our own for this one. No one to tell us what to do or how to do it. We 
have the initiative here. We can make the difference.” 


Donsley grabbed Calverez by the hand. “They need you, Agent 
Calverez.” 


God, | needed to hear this, he thought. This was real. Not that shit 


free hand. D-209 throws the door open. ] 


Note: [ A loud snapping noise is heard 
throughout the house. All light bulbs on the 
premises burst simultaneously, including 
floodlights focused on the property. ] 


22:40 


2F Bathroom: [ Once the camera adjusts 
to low-light conditions, SCP-783 comes into 
view. It is near the open door to the 
hallway, motionless. ] 


2F Bedroom: [ D-209 is screaming, 
clutching his right arm. It has been 
fractured just above the elbow, and dangles 
freely. It is observed to swiftly harden, 
presumably due to rapid bone growth. 
D-2°9 shouts his intent to escape with his 
life, and charges from the room. ] 


22:41