Note: Recommended that unless the situation changes, all off-trail 
exploration of SCP-778 be done by Class-Ds or by solo agents, to 
avoid excessive loss of personnel, should this happen again. 


Test 7 

One agent with two-way radio, standard day-hike equipment, and 
radio-transmitting helmet-mounted camera was instructed to follow 
SCP-778 until the sound of waterfalls was heard, then to travel off- 
trail until the source of the noise was reached. Noted that there was 
a dense fog that day that made vision beyond approximately 30 
meters impossible. 

Result: Waterfall noises never heard. Agent noted that the trail 
seemed to continue up a very steep, rocky alpine meadow, and was 
hard to see. Instructed to continue. Agent began climbing and 


thousands of mechanical soldiers, and then a flying ship, which 
sailed in the Milky Way and settled on the moon. 


The emperor asked: “Can | achieve eternal life through this?” 


Yufu answered: “If you replace your mortal body with machines, you 
may live forever.” 


The emperor was not pleased. Regarding the method as heretical, 
he abandoned Yufu’s plans. 


Xu Fu came from the West. He was a messenger of Adytum, 
servant of Mother Dragon. He spoke of the Sorcerer Yang, who 
worshipped Niwa and the Six Beasts under her throne, and was 
able to defeat demons, harness beasts, and wield great power. 


The emperor asked: “Can | achieve eternal life through this?” 
Xu Fu answered: “Yes.” 


The emperor was greatly pleased. He permitted Xu Fu’s request, 
who asked for five hundred children as sacrifice. Xu Fu then 
sacrificed to the Great Dragon. Soon after, a Beast under the 
Dragon’s throne came. It indeed granted the emperor eternal life 
and great power, saying: “You must sacrifice a person daily to show 
gratitude towards Mother Dragon.” The emperor answered: “I shall 
sacrifice a hundred daily.” The Great Beast replied: “Such is good.” 
The emperor then collected people from all over the land. Xu Fu saw 
this, and fled to the eastern seas. 


Terrified of the emperor’s actions, Yufu said: “Panjia is the perfection 
of man; the Xia people are but descendants of the Dragons; Xu Fu, 
howerever, is indeed of the beasts’ kind. Seeking help not from 
Panjia, but from Xu Fu, a grave mistake. An eternal life but at the 
cost of the lives of all who walk the land, such is intolerable.” 


Yufu thus led the mechanical soldiers he built and trapped the 
emperor in Epang Palace. He then sank the palace into the ground, 
and left the emperor with no escape despite his eternal life. 


As the stories were finished, Liu said: “People all say that a monster 
dwells here. Thus, | cannot return empty handed.” The being said: 
“You can slay this serpent.” He tossed his jade belt onto the ground, 
which then turned into a white serpent. Liu slew it, and saw that the 
serpent-man was nowhere to be found. Seeing the serpent Liu 
brought back, the people were all amazed, and said that it was a 
sign of future royalty. 


About Tree Fiddy 


You know, most folks who think about the ocean usually only think 
about the surface level. You know, the bright blue areas with all the 
fish and plant life. Finding Nemo and all that sort of crap. It's 
mysterious, sure, but there's never any real sense of threat to it. You 
go down and you know you're coming back up; that sort of thing. 


But they never think about where I'm going: straight to the bottom. 
Sure, I'm in a small airtight capsule, the best the Foundation's got on 
hand at the moment, but that doesn't really do much to distract from 
the fact that I'm currently 2500 meters down and still going. Let me 
tell you, when you're hours away from the nearest shore, going 
down to the bottom of the ocean to retrive a highly dangerous 
artifact all by yourself, even the best and brightest of the Foundation 
telling you it'll all be OK isn't nearly enough. 


| swear, I'm going to kill whoever did this. If 173 had just stayed in its 
damn cell we wouldn't have to be going through this. But nope, it 
broke out, killed a bunch of people, vanished off the radar, and was 
last seen by one of our contacts being dumped out of a boat into the 
middle of the ocean. We would have taken the bastards doing the 
dumping into custody had they not jumped in right after it and floated 
back up as corpses twenty minutes later. Either way, we've got 
ourselves an SCP stuck at the bottom of the ocean, and | have to go 
get it. 


They already went down a few times looking for it. Would have been 
nice if they'd bothered to think of bringing anything strong enough to 
dig it out of the muck it's lodged in up to the chest. But no, they only 
found where the damned thing is, and I'm supposed to go down and 
drag it up from the briny deep so we can lock it up until next 
Tuesday, when I'm pretty damned certain we'll have to go through 
the whole process again. | swear, if it weren't for the health benefits 
the job has, I'd quit Monday. 


Christ, it's dark outside. I'm pretty damned certain | saw something 


moving out there, but | don't want to turn on the floodlights and draw 
its attention. All | know is that there's water all around me, pretty 
much no light, and a fucking long way down if anything decides to 
ram into me. Wonder what the pressure is out there? Probably 
somewhere in the vicinity of too damn high. Pretty much the 
opposite of the temp... 


Why do the readings on the pannel indicate that I'm being pulled 
sharply westward? There aren't any major channels nearby, so it 
can't be that. It'd take something massive to pull with that much 
force, like a huge-ass drain pipe, or... a... Let's turn the sub around 
so | can get a better view. Please don't let it be what | think it is, oh 
please God, I'll be a good man from now on if it's not what | think it 
is, please oh please... oh, you dickwads. 


There's a huge wall of flesh right in front of me, filling up my entire 
field of view. Looks like an enormous monster fish of some kind, 
mostly because of the miles tall gills that are slowly sucking me in. 


Yeah! Yeah, thanks for not telling me that we were sending me 
down right the fuck next to the gills of the single largest creature on 
the planet. What, did you think that it wouldn't be breathing right 
now? You've got this thing's breathing pattern down pat, and you 
think it's a good idea to schedule my dive right when it's taking in 
water? Yeah, thanks a whole fucking bunch, assholes! 


Calm down, calm the fuck down. You wanna get out of this alive, 
just maneuver the sub in the right direction. Which way is the right 
direction? Hell if | know, but it probably involves something along the 
lines of moving away from the giant neck slits of death. Angle 
yourself down, turn the propellers to full throttle, and work on trying 
to get in-between two gills. The pull shouldn't be that strong in the 
middle. C'mon, c'mon, that's it, take it nice and easy, while still 
moving at top speed as if your life depended upon it, which it kinda 
does. That's it... that's it... 


Oh, thank God, | think | made it. Still too damned close to the giant 
fish beast, but | think | can keep going down without needing to 
worry about getting sucked inside Monstro here. Why am | even on 
the Deep Sea Specialization Force again? Answer, because | 
majored in Marine Science and thought it would be cool to live my 


dream job and get paid well for it. 


Digging statues out of the muck and nearly getting killed by Biblical 
monsters. Yep. Job of a fucking lifetime. 


KKK 


Well, that was a boring hour. Think I'm finally below that thing. Wish 
| could confirm it, but | don't think the floodlights will light up more 
than three meters in front of my face at this point. And if that thing's 
so close to me, I'd say | really shouldn't worry about anything except 
how my last prayers should go. 


According to the maps, | should nearly be at the bottom. Might 
wanna give the floodlights a go, just to check. Turning them on now 
and... hey, what do you know, I've got five meters of coverage, 
that's nice. Looks like | have made it to the bottom, so let's start 
checking around me to see how far away | am from that damned 
statue. They said | went down within ten meters of it, but | don't have 
any way of saying how far those gills pulled me away. 


Half an hour of searching and still nothing. Are they really sure it's 
trapped in the muck? How do they know it didn't wrestle itself out at 
some point and just go wandering the ocean... black, by the looks of 
things outside. | swear, if he's not there... 


Ah-ha! There you are, you old rocky bastard! Jammed chest-high in 
the muck, just like they said you would be! Christ, you look terrible. 
Looks like something tried to take a couple of bites out of you. Hell, 
you've even got a few teeth sticking out of you - big ones at that. 
And what are those things you've got tied all around you? Looks like 
little plastic bags of ground-up meat. Weird. Don't know who'd be 
stupid enough to use you as a fishing line. 


Doesn't matter, though. I'm here, you're here, let's get back to the 
surface before something can go wrong. Yeah, | see you struggling 
every time | blink. Not gonna do you any good. That gunk's thick as 
hell, and this mechanical arm's even stronger. You're not going 
anywhere any time soon. Let's get heading upwards. 


Oh, look, radio contact's back on. Hey, yeah, I've got it, don't worry. 


He's sealed up nice and tight in the claw. Yeah, things went 
smoothly. Oh, except for one little detail. Yeah, as it turns out, you 
fuckers dropped me right next to 169's gills while they were taking in 
water and nearly got me turned into a victim of whatever sort of 
filtering system that fucker's got. Yes, yes you fucking did. | expect 
at least a double pay for this job when | get back up to the... Hold 
on, 173's struggling again. Give it up, buddy, you're not getting... 


Oh shit, | think he just got out. I've still got him by the leg, but he's in 
reaching distance of the screen on the sub. The guy on the radio's 
telling me that the glass is completely shatterproof, but | don't 
believe him, seeing as 173 is punching and cracking the glass ata 
fairly alarming rate. It's kinda hard to keep your eyes open when the 
entire sub is rattling around and you're scared out of your fucking 
mind. What the hell do you mean it's lucky that the sub's designed to 
float back up to the surface and increase the gripping strength if the 
hull is breached? I'm still inside the fucking sub, and I'm still gonna 
fucking die. 


Good God, how much longer can | keep this up? We're ascending at 
a good pace, and we should be at the top in... | don't know, I'm too 
terrified right now to come up with the numbers. | want to say half an 
hour, but | really don't like that. Five minutes. We'll be up in five 
minutes. | can go for five minutes without blinking, right? 


For some reason, | can't help but notice that weird writing on the 
statue's forehead. | haven't ever cared to get close enough to 
memorize the details of its face, but | Know for certain it was never 
there before. Kinda weird, really. What's it say? "Property of the S... 
P..." can't make out the rest. 


Hold on one fucking moment. What did that captured memo we 
used to pass around say? Something about capturing anomalous 
objects and using them to punch... 


Oh, for fuck's sake. 


Then | blink, and the screen shatters, letting the water rush in. 


Absolute Self-Control 


| don't care. 


No, in all seriousness. That's the answer to your question. | don't 
care. 


Apathy is stronger body armor than anything else. Why should | care 
that there's a damned great lizard running loose? | have papers to 
file, dammit! Why should | give a damn that the semen-eating girl is 
loose and headed for my sector? I'm on break. 


Everything's a narrative. Everything, especially real life. This one, 
that is. | have suspicions regarding other 'real lifes’ that I'm working 
on in my spare time. But | digress. Narratives. They exist in the 
world, just as coincidences do. They aren't very strong, mostly just a 
set of cliches played out repeatedly. Trained task forces fall easily 
while resourceful civilians manage to save the day; head 
researchers who by rights ought to be filing paperwork take on the 
dangerous task of decomming a dangerous SCP; 682 escapes and 
starts a rampage; things like that. And people always act as they 
would in a bad thriller, or a bad sci-fi, or a bad action flick. Except 
me. 


That's how I've lived to be ninety, kid. | don't care what goes on 
around me, | do what needs to be done. | survived walking through 
the middle the Clef-Kondraki Incident because | didn't so much as 
acknowledge their presence. | got some coffee from the break room 
while Kondraki was in his battle suit, and | was in my office filing 
forms to request a budget for reconstruction of the Site when Clef 
was freezing the hallway. I'm always that kind of person, and it's 
helped me survive. 682 rushed by an inch from my face, and | did 
nothing. Didn't so much as flinch. 


That's another thing, you know? That bloody great lizard isn't hostile, 
it's reactionary. It's like a reverse of 173 - you watch it and feel any 
emotion or reaction regarding it and it hates you. That's why 


whatsisname's experiment with the kids didn't work, and why 053 


got along so well with it. | just don't feel and don't react. It works for 
me. 


That's how it works, kid. Take it or leave it, | don't much care. 


Acquisition Log SCP- - 


FoldUnfold 
Table of Contents 
Abridged Timeline of SCP- - Acquisition 
Agent Went's Log 
Agent Hachigan's 
Transcript of Mr. ' Interview 
Dr. Jared's Note 
Testimony of Thomas 


Abridged Timeline of SCP- - 
Acquisition 


* Some time in early June 18 , a number of , Tennessee 
area newspapers began carrying stories of a haunting at the 
residence, located at Road. 


© Field Agents Went and Hachigan held several 
conversations with Mr. __, both at his residence and 
elsewhere. Phenomena witnessed during interviews not 
conducted at the residence seemed to suggest that Mr. 

himself was causally responsible for the reported 
“poltergeist” activity, although he appeared oblivious to 
this fact. 

O Mr. was persuaded to accompany Agents Went and 
Hachigan to Research Installation under the pretense 
he would receive treatment for his rapid decline in 
mental faculties. Mr. was told the facility was a 
medical institution. 


@ After Agent Hachigan established no objects of 
interest were in the home, the residence was 
razed. A cover story was concocted in which Mr. 


fled his residence in terror in the dead of 
night, breaking a kerosene lamp in his bid to 
escape. This story was widely circulated by 
regional newspapers. 


° Mr. arrived with Agents Went and Hachigan at Research 
Installation onthe 11th of June, 18 at 10:30 am local time. 


©. Six (6) individuals signed in to Exam Room 3 shortly 
after Mr. —' arrival: 


M@ Dr. Jared, lead interviewer and researcher 
assigned to the investigation 

Dr. Bianchi, assistant to Dr. Jared 

Agent Hachigan, witness and security 
Agent Went, witness and security 

Mr. __, interviewee 

Richard Pierfax, stenographer 


11:47 am: A handwritten note was slid underneath the 
door, signed by Dr. Jared. 

11:50 am: Three gunshots were heard within Exam 
Room 38, followed briefly by panicked shouting. 

12:02 pm: Two additional gunshots were reported. 
12:12 pm: The door to Exam Room 3 was cracked open 
and a manilla envelope was thrown into the hallway. Dr. 
Jared wedged his arm in the door and appeared to 
make an exhaustive effort to force it open, yelling “For 
Christ's sake, |” 

12:13 pm: [DATA EXPUNGED] 

12:15 pm: Exam Room 3 boarded shut, chimney 
sealed. 


OD Or 


Om 


* On the 13th of June, 18 , Research Installation was re- 
designated Containment Site .