Based on information provided by an 
undisclosed source, the Foundation-operated 
bot (I/O-SILVER) was used to search for 
SCP-2753 projections in various popular code 
repositories and file-sharing networks. Several 
significant server crashes along with losses of 
critical data were linked to SCP-2753. 


Further investigation has demonstrated the 
existence of SCP-2753-C instances. Instances 


are files with specific attributes matching 
SCP-2753's projection within a certain 
threshold; they can otherwise be of any size 
and type. They exhibit their anomalous 
property only when 42 instances of similar size 
and type are accessed simultaneously by a 
single program. If this program crashes 
unexpectedly, any network running this 
program will experience an immediate 
catastrophic failure. 


Foundation efforts are currently underway to 
discover all such programs and destroy them. 


> ACCESS SCP:/2753/incidents/042.log 


035 Internal Server Error 


The server encountered an unexpected condition which 
prevented it from fulfilling the request 
(REQUEST PROTOCOL 028): 


Traceback (most recent call last): 
File "/SCP/2753/files/_display.py", line 21, in respond 
table.open.body = self.handler() 
File "/SCP/2753/files/_display.py", line 14, in ___call__ 
return self.callable(*self.args, **self.kwargs) 
File "error_classic.py", line 7 in index 
raise NotImplementedError(msg) 
NotIimplementedError: [DATA LOST] 


NOTE: The IntSCPFN network has 
experienced a critical error. If you are seeing 
this message, please immediately notify your 
Site-Director via phone, radio, or in person. 


Footnotes 

1. Jenga is a game wherein blocks are assembled into a tower; 
players then take turns removing blocks and placing them on top 
while trying to avoid a collapse. 

2. OBW is a geometry definition file format used as instructions for 
many commercially available 3D printers. 

3. The Boston Anomalous Art Expo (BAAE) is an underground art 
exposition dedicated to sharing works from various anartists. 

4. Multi-Level Marketing (MLM) is a business strategy relying 
primarily on pyramid-shaped commission systems to produce 
profits. 


« SCP-2752 | SCP-2753 | SCP-2754 » 


SCP-2754: How To Put 110% Into Everything 


Digital rendition of the cover of SCP-2754 


Item #: SCP-2754 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2754 is to be kept inside a 
standard Safe class storage locker in Site-77 that is to be secured 
by keypad. Testing of SCP-2754 is not to be performed without Site 
Director approval. Any individuals involved with tests pertaining to 
SCP-2754, including the test supervisor, are to be administered 
Class-A Amnestics after the test is complete. 


Description: SCP-2754 is a paperback self-help book that is 326 
pages in length. The contents of SCP-2754 are split into seven 
chapters written by the now deceased Ruth Wates and a prolugue 
[sic] written by Dr. Bill Simmons. 


When the conditions for triggering SCP-2754's anomalous effects 
are not met, SCP-2754 contains advice on various topics such as 
finding the motivation to do certain tasks, finding an individual's 
purpose in life, and finding happiness in an individual's professional 
situation. In various pages, there is a caricature drawing of Ms. 
Wates' head with a speech bubble going into further detail about the 
content on that particular page. These speech bubbles typically 
have a pun relating to the topic discussed in the associated chapter 
of the page. SCP-2754's publisher page indicates that it was printed 
in 1988 by Press. (See Addendum 2754-02 for further details.) 


Anomalous properties of SCP-2754 manifest when a subject has a 
desire to know how to accomplish a specific task and opens 
SCP-2754 to a random page. Regardless of where in the book the 
subject has opened, the first page that is seen is a page that reads 
"Chapter 8: Your Questions Answered." Subsequent pages in 
SCP-2754 contains advice on how to best accomplish the task the 


subject wishes to do. The caricature of Ms. Wates is also present in 
pages in this state, however it will make statements that are directly 
targeted to the subject reading it, which will contain details of the 
subject's personal life, their dietary habits, childhood memories, and 
the subject's family and friends. At the end of the chapter, there is a 
sentence that reads "Know your limits, but push on forward. | 
believe in you, [Subject's Name]!" 


+ Access Testing Logs 
Test-01 - /04/92 


Subject: D-3420 

Procedure: Subject was instructed to find out 
how to construct a wooden chair. 

Results: SCP-2754 provided advice on how to 
best construct a wooden chair. Included 
various Suggestions such as what type of 
wood to use and how to improve the chair's 
structural integrity. 


Test-04 - /25/92 


Subject: D-1331 

Procedure: Subject was instructed to find out 
how to be kind to others. 

Results: SCP-2754 provided words of 
encouragement to the subject. Provided 
advice on being more patient and being 
empathetic. Subject noted that the book told 
her that not everyone is her enemy. D-1331 
claimed that her mother told her otherwise. 


Test-07 - /09/93 


Subject: D-8622 

Procedure: Subject was instructed to find out 
how to cook beef using nothing but a pile of 
rags. 

Results: SCP-2754 provided advice (including 
diagrams) of how to light a fire using the 


friction of two rags. Subject attempted to 
preform this act using his uniform and was 
promptly subdued by security personnel on 
standby. Subject is currently undergoing 
medical rehabilitation. 


Test-13 - /01/93 


Subject: Junior Researcher Vai 

Procedure: Subject was instructed to find 
advice on how to cure his alcoholism. Vai 
willingly volunteered for the test. 

Results: Chapter eight of SCP-2754 solely 
consisted of Ruth Wates caricatures providing 
the subject with reaffirming messages stating 
that "It's not [Researcher Vai's] fault," and 
"Patricia still loves everything about [Vai]." 
Subject requested that he should not be 
administered amnestics. Request was denied 
by the Site Director. 


Test- - / / 


Subject: Junior Researcher Ertain 
Procedure: Subject was instructed to find out 
how to become a living paradox. 

Results: [DATA EXPUNGED]. Subject was 
administered Class-C amnestics and was 
transferred to a different project without 
incident. 


Addendum 2754-01: Media Interview Transcript 
Interviewed: Ruth Wates 


Interviewer: Sandra __, the host of Today, a 
popular local morning talk show based in _ lA. 


Foreword: The interview was conducted during a 
segment of Today called "Smart Cookies", in which 
self-help experts in the city of provide life advice to 


the viewers of the program. The interview was recorded 
on 08/11/88. The portion of the interview not concerning 
SCP-2754 has been omitted for brevity. 


<Begin Log> 


Sandra: Welcome back to Today! You just saw a 
little cartoon cookie being eaten. That means it's time for 
my personal favorite subject, Smart Cookies! Our guest 
speaker for today is Miss Ruth Wates. Everyone in the 
studio audience give a warm round of applause to her! 


Ruth: Thank you, it's a pleasure to be here after all. 
[Omitted, skipping to 4:26] 


Sandra: Now it's to my understanding that you've just 
published a book... 


Ruth: That's right! In fact, | just happen to have a copy 
with me right now! 


[Ms. Wates pulls SCP-2754 from her coat.] 


Sandra: Oh really? I'm assuming it's about the stuff 
we've been talking about right now? 


Ruth: Yep! It has eight chapters of self-help action. My 
favorite chapter is naturally the eighth one, because | 
teach you how to use the skills in the book to accomplish 
anything you've been wanting to do or learn how to do. 
Go ahead, try it! 


[Ms. Wates hands Ms. SCP-2754.] 


Sandra: Well, I've always wanted to take up gardening 
for some time, but the opportunity never presented 
itself... 


Ruth: Well flip open the book to find out how! 


[Ms. opens SCP-2754 somewhere near the end of 


the book, triggering SCP-2754's effect.] 


Sandra: Well gosh be darned! How did you accomplish 
something like this? 


Ruth: Oh, | just added a tinge of my own little spice. It's 
a family secret, but what | can tell the people at home is 
that it won't just be able to tell you how to garden. 
Anything you set your mind on is possible, and my book 
will give you the tools you need to accomplish it. 


Sandra: Amazing, just amazing! How much will your 
book cost? 


Ruth: |'m glad you asked! Head on to your local 
bookstore on August 21st and you can get the book for 
only ten dollars! 


Sandra: Well that sounds like quite the steal! | don't 
know about the viewers at home, but | know I'll be buying 
a copy. 


Ruth: Well | humbly thank you. 


Sandra: You're most welcome! We'll be back right after 
these messages. 


<End Log> 
Addendum 2754-02: Discovery Log 


The existence of SCP-2754 was brought to the attention of Field 
Agent Valenzia on 03/30/91 while she was off duty. Agent Valenzia 
was speaking with an individual who will remain unidentified about 
his work ethic and inability to accomplish tasks given to him. He 
claimed that he had bought a self-help book that he saw on an 
interview on Today which would help him run for local office, 
but he claimed that the book was "false advertising” and stated that 
he would take legal action against Ms. Wates. Agent Valenzia 
quickly found a recording of the aforementioned interview and 
subsequently reported it to the Foundation. Ms. Wates address at 
the time was discovered by the Foundation and a raid was issued at 


her residence. The house was apparently abandoned and 
SCP-2754 was located on the floor in her bedroom. 


Further research revealed that SCP-2754 was published by 

Press as previously mentioned in this file, and investigation began 
on a warehouse that belonged to the company. The Foundation 
seized 600 potential copies of SCP-2754. Subsequent testing 
revealed that none of the seized copies of the book were anomalous 
and were returned to Press' warehouse. An employee at the 
company stated that most of the copies that the Foundation has 
confiscated were returns from customers. Grade A amnestics were 
given to all individuals involved in the incident. It is worth noting that 
the non-anomalous copies of SCP-2754 had "prologue" spelled 
correctly on the cover. 


Investigation of Ruth Wates found that she was killed in a car 
accident on 09/04/89 in , SD. Further investigation into the 
background of Ms. Wates is currently ongoing. 


Addendum 2754-03: Note found upon discovery of SCP-2754 


God damn idiots. All | wanted to do was help people. 
Nobody bought my first book. The second | try 
something different it blows up in my face. | wonder if 
[DATA EXPUNGED] was even worth the trouble. | 
suppose this isn't something to be depressed or angry 
about. | just have to keep going. | may have to leave 
town. 


« SCP-2753 | SCP-2754 | SCP-2755 » 


Dr. J :Can you describe the conversion process, from your 
perspective? 


SCP-318-1-27: | have some memory of those events, but it is both 
jumbled and exceptionally unpleasant. | would prefer to speak on a 
different subject. 


Dr. J: Please describe your recollections of the conversion 
process. 


SCP-318-1-27: May we speak about something else, please? How 
much time has passed since | was last opened? 


Dr. J: lf you do not answer the question, we will take whatever 
measures are necessary to ensure your further compliance. 


SCP-318-1-27: Very well. As the lid of the "MATERIA" box closed 
[DATA EXPUNGED] 


Dr. J: That was interesting, thank you. 


SCP-318-1-27: What events have transpired of late in the world? My 
previous caretakers would keep me abreast of recent happenings. 


Dr. J —: lam afraid that is all the time we have allotted for this 
interview. Perhaps next time. 


<End Log> 

Interviewer: Dr. H 

Date: / /20 

Interview subject: SCP-318-1-12 


Original language: Archaic Japanese, dialect and calligraphy 
consistent with 16th century. 


<Begin Interview Log> 
SCP-318-1-12: Thank you - it is good to see and hear again. 


Dr.H —: Please explain. Why couldn't you see or hear? 


SCP-2755: Brevity of Writ 


Item #: SCP-2755 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2755 is to be stored ina 
standard biological item vault outfitted with a drain for excess fluids. 


Description: SCP-2755 is the corpse of Finnegan _, a comedy 
writer noted for a family-friendly series of joke books, [REDACTED]. 
The corpse itself is effectively affixed to the couch supporting it. Of 
particular note is its position; its right hand holds a shot glass under 
SCP-2755's mouth. Discharging from the mouth at 0.5 mL/hour is 
isopropyl alcohol, which drips into the shot glass. When overfilled, 
and the alcohol reaches a suitable material, most additional alcohol 
evaporates. The remaining alcohol proceeds to cover the material's 
surface and etches a random pun from one of the writer's books, as 
well as a typically cynical addition. See Addendum for transcripts. 


Addendum A: Transcript of Etchings 


Why did the cow not want to go to school? Because it 
had recently mooved! 


... Just like | did for this shitty job in Loserville, Nowhere. 
How do dolphins like their soda pop? Bottled! 
Just like my whiskey, acetaminophen, and rage. 


What did the archaeologist say when he accidentally 
broke an artifact? "| owe you guys an anthrApology." 


... I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. Forgive me. 


« SCP-2754 | SCP-2755 | SCP-2756 » 


SCP-2756: Surreal Landscaper 


Item #: SCP-2756 
Object Class: Keter 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2756 affected material 
and personnel are to be restricted solely to SCP-2756-A, SCP-2756- 
B and Site- . Personnel found affected by SCP-2756 are to be 
reassigned to the Site- detail. Affected civilians are to be detained 
at Site- indefinitely. 


SCP-2756-A, SCP-2756-B and Site- are to have a perimeter set up 
1 km away from the affected area surrounding each site. Any party 
attempting to break through the perimeter is to be detained 
immediately. If said party has made contact with affected material, 
they are to be detained in Site- . Affected material found outside the 
perimeter is to be incinerated on location. 


Communication with the Site- detail is to be maintained, and 
supplies are to be dropped in when necessary. Any physical contact 
with the residents of SCP-2756-A and exploration of SCP-2756-B is 
restricted to personnel belonging to the Site- detail. All files, logs 
and documents are to be electronically filed and transmitted to an 
active site. 


Once every 4 weeks, Procedure-Kappa-8 is to be carried out. 
Procedure-Kappa-8 entails no less than 15 members of the Site- 
detail equipped with flamethrowers enter SCP-2756-B and 
incinerate hostile SCP-2756 growths. 


Description: SCP-2756 is an infection of unknown origin capable of 
spreading to both organic and inorganic material. Inorganic material 
affected by SCP-2756 will begin to deform and grow tendrils or 
various Organs and appendages such as eyes or arms. Said organs 
and appendages appear to be organic and appear to resemble 
human organs. Living subjects that come in contact with SCP-2756 


will undergo a mutative process. Over the course of at least 3 weeks 
an infected subject will develop growths that will grow into additional 
limbs or organs. Plant matter appears to grow only sensory organs 
of various types. All growths originating from SCP-2756 affected 
material and living subjects appear to be functional. Other than said 
mutation the subject's physical health is not affected. Research is 
still undergoing in order to determine the extent of SCP-2756's 
invasiveness. Incineration has so far proved to be an effective 
method of destroying SCP-2756's effect. The method in which 
SCP-2756 spreads is unknown.