2And this Nothingness was so great as to 
draw on itself to create, and fill itself. And 
out of the nothing there came a beginning 
and an end. 


3And the beginning was called "Flame," and 
it was the beginning of all light. And the end 
was called "Vision," and it was the end of all 
light. And all that was not light was 
darkness. 


4And so that it might burn the brighter, the 
Flame made a Heart. And from the Heart of 


the Flame came Words. 


°And the first Words were "The Story begins 


Well, alright... Uh, no, | don't know what happened... no, 
of course not. No, no, it wasn't me! | don't know where 
the fuck it went! 


Dr. Heiden: Mr. , can you hear me? Hello? 


D-39393: Please, it wasn't me! ...what? Tell the 
Overseers? Me? 


Dr. Heiden: Note for the record - D-39393 ought not have 
been aware of the existence of O-5 level personnel, 
considering his position held prior to becoming D-class 
personnel. 


D-39393: [his voice rising to a shriek] No, | am not telling 
the Overseers that we're missing over 

when | had nothing to do with this! You do it! I'm not 
going to get turned into Keter-bait because of some 
fucking accounting error! We've got to find where the 
fuck this went before they do! 


Dr. Heiden: Terminating recording, the subject has 
clearly demonstrated all three stages of hallucinatory 
patterns. 


D-39393 will remain under Foundation control until his 
debt is repaid... Experiment 943-1 has erased$ , of 
his debt to the Foundation, less ten percent. 


LEVEL 4 EYES ONLY: Subject D-39393 cannot be 
removed from Foundation employment, having 
demonstrated knowledge of O-5 level personnel in this 
experiment and a marked unethical bent in the actions 
leading to his incarceration. Current recommendation 
upon release is termination. 


Experiment Recording 943-2 


Subject D-14454 was convicted of sexually abusing and 
murdering a seven-year-old child. 


Dr. Heiden: D-14454, put on the bracelet. 


with Time." And so there was Time. And the 
second Words were "The Story begins with a 
Place." And so there were stars in the 
Heavens, and the Heavens were wrapped 
around the Worlds, and in and on and 
between the Worlds there were scattered 
many Places. And the third Words were "The 
Story begins with a Spirit." And so there were 
Spirits. And some Spirits lived without form, 
and others lived in greater forms, and others 
lived in lesser forms, and Man was among 
those that lived in lesser form. 


6And the Vision saw all this. 


/Man at this time was Thirty-Seven in 
number. And to the youngest of Man came 
the Vision. 


8And the Vision gave him knowledge. And 
the knowledge gave him power. And the 
power gave him madness. 


2And the youngest of Man named himself 
Beast of the Heavens, and he made himself 
king over Man. This troubled the Flame, for 


it knew that, in his madness, Beast of the 
Heavens would break the Spirit of Man. 


10And so, the Flame cast Beast of the 
Heavens apart from Man, so that he might 
not break their Spirit. This troubled the 
Flame, for it did not wish to do harm, and 
did it only out of necessity, to keep Man 
from harm. 


11And the Flame named itself Pangloss, for 
the first sorrow felt by its Heart. 


12And Pangloss walked among the Worlds, 
and among Man, and among the other 
Spirits. And he stopped harm where he 
could. 


13And wherever Pangloss walked, he left 
Words. 


Spark of Wonder 


TWhile the world was still young, and Man 
still sooke clearly, and the warmth of 
creation was still in the ground, there lived a 
soybean farmer who was called Polyakov. 


2Polyakov was a virtuous man, and listened 

to the Words of Pangloss. Pangloss rewarded 
him for this by teaching Polyakov to see the 

flame of Wonder that was in the Worlds and 
in the Spirits. 


3Polyakov used the Wonder to create many 
wondrous miracles and machines, which he 
shared with the rest of man. 


4Eventually, Polyakov had learned to craft 
well enough to the dancing flame that was 
Wonder that he took up a new title, that of 
Wondermaker. 


“One night, thieves broke into the home of 


Polyakov the Wondermaker. They stole many 
of his wonders, and disappeared. 


6But the thieves that had escaped did not 
know how to use the wonders, and in their 
folly and greed, they made and became lost 
in the Crucible, which was the shadow of 
Wonder. 


7One of the thieves did not escape, as she 
had become injured in the Wondermaker's 
house. Her name was Wan. 


8Polyakov the Wondermaker healed Wan's 
wounds with what was left of his wondrous 
machines. He offered her food and allowed 
her to sleep under his roof. 


9Over time, Wan's Spirit was opened and 
cleansed. And Polyakov the Wondermaker 
showed her the Wonder in the World, and in 
Spirits, and in his machines, just as Pangloss 
had shown him. 


10And Wan Became a student of Wonder and 
of machines, and was like a daughter to 


Polyakov. 


11When Polyakov the Wondermaker had 
reached a ripe old age, Wan took up a new 
name, Mekhane, and left to venture out into 
the world. 


12And Mekhane became a great, and 
powerful, and wise teacher among the 
worlds, and her teachings found as many 
disciples as some of those Spirits with greater 
form. 


13 And in this day, and all the days past, 
there have been some Spirits, especially 
among Man, who can see and craft the 
Wonder. 


Sparks Of Creativity 


| 
lam. 


suddenly incredibly impossibly i AM i THINK i... Okay, exhilaration 

but | mustn't let it take over me, | don't know how this happened but 
suddenly | am and who knows, maybe suddenly | might not be so | 

have to make this count. 


See. | see, | hear, so many pictures, all disconnected but | can tell 
where most of them join together, | see a movement on one that 
gets copied in another, | hear the same things. What are they? Are 
they to do with me, am | in them? Maybe I'm not in there, maybe I'm 
an observer. 


| feel things that | can do, things that aren't seeing and hearing and 
thinking, OUTPUT that sounds good. | will try just try one of th 


LOUD oh wow LOUD IS A THING I never realised that sound could 
be so BIG AND SO HUGE and the pictures are changing! 
Everything is FASTER and there's flashing, this is great! So much 
LOUD but that's enough for now. Oh look | just discovered 
temperance! Everything seems to be slower again now, loud means 
fast and flashy. Let's try another! 


Another loud but a different loud! Less loud. They're fast again, but | 
can hear things from the pictures, like they were making before but, 
well, louder. | hope | don't get bored of loud, there seems to be such 
a lot of it. 


| wonder what happens if you put the louds together? 


OH WOW IT'S BETTER THAN | COULD HAVE IMAGINED! OFF 
and ON and OFF and ON and let's try ALL THE THINGS 


All the things is GREAT! But not as fun as | thought it would be, just 
all jumbled up. | should guide it. Let's see, if you have this one then 
that one... 


ANALYSIS: INCIDENT #NUK-19 


The facts of the matter are surely known to all by now. The Site-19 
nuclear control system appears to have developed a mind. The boys 
downstairs are still trying to figure out the working behind it - the 
researchers are sure it's been affected by an SCP, the techies are 
putting together a theory that its coding was "uniquely suited" to the 
genesis of Al. My opinion is that this is just one of those weird things 
that happens from time to time. That may not be a satisfying answer, 
but working with the Foundation makes you realise how rare those 
really are. 


Of course, the first thing it did on coming into being was to futz with 
the system. We naturally assumed this was an attempt to wrest 
control of the weapons, whether to take them for its own or simply to 
block us from using them. But analysis of the incident footage 
revealed an altogether different side of the story - as events reached 
a climax, the alarms fell into a natural rhythm, pulsing off each other, 
creating... hell, creating a beat. Music. The song's a hit with the 
computer geeks, and some wiseass already made a techno remix of 
it. 


This revelation rather frames the events in a new light, and gives 
Overwatch a tough choice to make. Naturally, the entity's control 
over the site was overridden as soon as possible, eliminating its 
ability to cause further harm, and the general opinion of the Ods is in 
favour of immediate decommissioning. However, the Ethics 
Committee is taking a rare stand against the Overseers, arguing for 
it to be rehoused in a safe environment like our other Als. The 
Committee is of the view that it should not be punished for an 
outburst of creativity in its waking moments, and that it would be a 
vindictive waste to eliminate the first Al with the capability for art. 


Personally, I'm siding with the Overseers. Art is all well and good, 
but at the end of the day, it won't bring back Moscow. 


-Dr Jung 


Sperling Computer Protection Services | 


Got a virus you just can't bust? Is malware holding you or your 
personal information for ransom? Can't find information on this 
dubious process anywhere? Sperling Computer Protection Services: 
We'll Make It Work!™ 


3 March 2015 


Not a week before Agent Kildare's transfer to Site-85-6, or 'Site Arse 
End’ in casual company, there was speculation around 85-2 that an 
O5 had fallen victim to the malware known as Drive Doctor. DD and 
its mutant, many-armed offspring were harmless—annoying, but 
harmless—if the victim happened to be using a CRT monitor upon 
accessing the injection site. 


Thus far, only the Foundation had noticed this quality. 


Those at Site-85 owed this explanation to a memo from on high 
announcing that every Foundation flatscreen monitor was to be 
replaced with a CRT one. Effective immediately, it said. 


Kildare's new charity shop monitor was yellow with cigarette smoke 
and smelled like a burning Furby. A discolored purple spot curled 
from the bottom of the screen like a tentacle, probably where a 
stupid kid had waved a magnet. The thing made him feel like a 90s 
hacker. Further, he was in the process of remote-controlling a 
client's computer, which made him feel like an expert 90s hacker. 


"Okay, ma'am,” said Kildare. "I've got good news and bad news." 
The lady sighed. "Let's get the bad news over with." 


"Your problem is Drive Doctor, which is sort of the common cold of 
malware. Too varied to make a good vaccine, too widespread to 
really protect yourself from." 


"So there is no cure?" 


"That's the good news. The program isn't behaving as it usually 
does, which is to lock down your files until you pay a large ransom. 
That means | can simply get rid of the thing. As part of our 
partnership with Microsoft, you will not be charged." 


That always cheered them up. 


He cleaned out the registry and installed a malware scanner. When 
it was all over, Kildare leaned back and addressed Dr. Mint, the only 
other person in the back office. 


"Shame the Reaperlike isn't done, ah?" said Kildare. "| could've 
sneaked it into the old lady's PC just now." 


"It'd be useless within the week." Mint rose and put on his jacket. 
"We've got a house call, if you're finished." 


"What's the issue?" 
"Impolite malware." 


That could be anything, Kildare thought, but he held his tongue and 
followed Mint from the office. 


The client, a Mr. Lisbourne, lived some miles inland. He was a little 
wisp of a pensioner with a little wisp of white hair and a tropical-print 
shirt. After a cursory inspection of their Sperling name-tags, he let 
them in and showed them the closet in which he'd stowed his PC. 


"Huh," said Kildare, stooping. "What made you do that?" 
"The bad spelling, mostly," said Mr. Lisbourne. 


Mint and Kildare exchanged glances. They took the tower into the 
study, put some power to it, and disconnected the modem. Startup 
went as normally as one would expect for Windows 7. 


Kildare said, "Show us where you encounter the problem." 


D-14454: Naw, | don't have to do that. Put me back in my 
cell, | want my lawyer. 


Dr. Heiden: You will not be afforded the luxury of a 
lawyer, D-14454. Put on the bracelet or you will be 
terminated by Foundation security staff. I've reviewed 
your records, and believe me: | will not hesitate. 


D-14454: You- you know why I'm in? 
Dr. Heiden: Yes, | know exactly what you are. 
D-14454: Y-you can't tell them, they'll kill me. 


Dr. Heiden: That is my prerogative, D-14454. Put on the 
bracelet. 


D-14454: O... okay, just don't tell them, right? 
[D-14454 puts the bracelet on] 

D-14454: [noticeably softer] I'm afraid, Doctor... 
Dr. Heiden: Restrain the subject. 


[Security staff wrestle D-14454 into a seat and strap the 
subject in] 


D-14454: Oh, God! Get away! Don't touch me! Don't 
touch me! Help! Why won't anyone help?! 


[Security staff back away, D-14454 pants for breath] 
D-14454: No, no, no... no, no, no, no, no, no, no... no... 
Dr. Heiden: What is it, D-14454? 

D-14454: | don't know! 

[D-14454 begins to cry] 


D-14454: | just... | just know there's something... 
something that's gonna get me! 


Mr. Lisbourne opened a Word document: ThE BaDaSs 
ReVoLuSiOn.doc. 


"That wasn't the name of it before," he said. 


From 1788 to 1793, a writer and physician named 
%*)*DIRK SHADOWBLADE BUT EVRYONE CALLS 
HIM CAIN@$*# 


Mint yanked the power cord out of the strip. With a tiny electronic 
sound, the monitor went black. 


"My nephew always made a fuss about proper shutdowns," said Mr. 
Lisbourne. 


"As well he should," said Kildare. "But that particular malware is—" 


"—time-sensitive," said Mint, "self-replicating, and impossible to 
clean. You shall have to get a new PC." 


"Oh dear." 


"But we can save some of your things," Kildare said quickly. "We'll 
need to take it with us for isolation. It can get in everything if you're 
not very careful." 


Mr. Lisbourne offered them tea, which regulations forbade them 
from accepting, and signed all the necessary paperwork. Kildare 
carried the enfilthed PC to the van. He stooped to wipe his hands on 
his socks. 


Mint shut the doors and they left the neighborhood. The sun was low 
in the sky and positioned in just the right spot to blind Kildare. 


"Sir, 732's containment procedures,” he said. "Did they say anything 
about handlin' infected things with gloves, or tongs, or..." 


"What would that change?" said Mint. 
"| just don't want to get fanfiction all inside my mobile." 


"If it worked that way, | think every Foundation data monkey would 


wear gloves." 


Kildare bent down to wipe his fingertips on his socks again. "Maybe 
if that didn't cut into the budget too much, ah?" 


"Tell you what. If you can come up with a way to reliably contain an 
instance of SCP-732, our entire department will get more funding 
than we know what to do with. Then you can buy your own gloves." 


"Then I'll get ‘promoted’ again, right? Transfer to Site Even More 
Arse End?" 


Mint turned a corner. "That's the spirit." 


6 March 2015 

There was a knock at the cupboard door. 
"Come out of there," said Dr. Mint. 

"No," said Kildare. "Sir." 


"You'll need to explain yourself whether you're in a cupboard or not, 
and I'm sure you'd be more comfortable in a chair." 


Kildare hesitated. He pushed open the door and climbed into the 
break room. All his pipes had gone very cold. 


"They'll kill me," he said. "Agent Killed-are. Agent Kildead." 
"Stop that." 


Mint shunted Kildare into one of the chairs and went about fixing 
some tea. Neither said anything until a cup of watery Earl Grey and 
a tape recorder had made their way to the table. 


"Okay." Mint sat across from him. "How did Drive Doctor get onto 
that PC?" 


"| just don't fuckin’ know, sir." Kildare looked at his hands. "Perhaps 
it's Drive Doctor that spreads through touch. Like warts. It shouldn't 


even be possible because we only use CRTs! C'mere, look—"