10/23/20 : | tried the formula again. Genuine 
royal water this time, imported from a 
colleague in . | poured it in, and the whole 
time | was thinking nitrohydrochloric acid. | 
couldn't stop thinking nitrohydrochloric acid. 


The admixture failed, of course. 


10/24/20 : Homunculus an increasingly 
attractive option. | cannot learn the art (too 
grounded in the fundus/consensus/real), but | 
might be able to create an artist. 


10/27/20 : Started searching for suitable 
source material. Rusty. 


1/23/20 : Found suitable source material. 
Lean little thing from Cambodia. Pliant/ 
compliant. Never actually thought I’d do this, 
but | guess there’s no harm now that I’m 
looking to outsource. 


2/3/20 : Source material arrived today. Made it 
official at the courthouse. 


2/4/20 : Not really all it's cracked up to be. 
2/28/20 : No results as of yet. 

4/20/20 : No results as of yet. 

5/3/20 : No results. 


6/11/20 : No results. Failing health of source 
material a concern. 


6/15/20 : Conception! 


6/27/20 : | introduced the source material/ 
vessel to the circle. I'm no practitioner, but | 
know certain patterns/formulae/procedures 
that should allow a degree of influence over 
the unformed/incipient/unreal. The womb is 
simply that primordial void of so many creation 
myths. A vacuum paradoxically containing all 
necessities for creation. 


6/28/20 : Alterations continue, progressing 


well. Blurred gender as much as | could 
without risking critical defect; masculine + 
feminine, sun + moon, yin + yang, all that good 
shit. 


6/29/20 : Alterations continue. Parted the 
waters and drove the heart from the center. 


6/30/20 : Alterations finished. Long, 
auspicious day. Think it went well but 
impossible to tell until it decants. Vessel spent 
and disposed of. Think | earned a fucking 
drink. 


7/12/20 : No update. It'll take some time, but it 
should be ready to decant at the vernal 
equinox. Couldn't hurt, right? 


9/20/20 : Nothing to report. Would have 
expected more movement by now. Doubt is 
poison. 


10/13/20 : Nothing to report. 


11/12/20 : Remembered an interesting bit of 
Paracelsus, looked it up today: “That the 
sperm of a man be putrefied by itself in a 
sealed cucurbit for forty days with the highest 
degree of putrefaction in a horse’s womb, or at 
least so long that it comes to life and moves 
itself and stirs...” Ha! Could’ve just used a 
horse. 


12/3/20 : Sweet Christ it’s working. 
1/1/20 : Happy new year. 


2/15/20 : Growth continues. Worried it would 
grow too fast, miss our special date, but it 
seems to have normalized/plateaued. 


3/3/20 : Speech of God = creation/absolute 


destruction. Say "light" and light separated 
from darkness, say "day" and "night" and they 
were thereafter day and night. This was the 
first speech and it was perfect/powerful/true. 
Things were not divorced from their names 
and language was a lie nobody had invented 
yet. 


3/10/20 : Beginning final preparations for 
decantation. Growth has abated, little 
movement. 


3/15/20 : Second was the speech of 
embryonic Adam. Lesser, of course, but say 
"sheep" and sheep. Say "tree" and tree. Itis a 
speech that sculpted things, carved them in 
that warm paradise of infantile ignorance/non- 
being/clay. Eden, containing all necessities for 
creation. Eden, where mankind was nascent 
and incomplete. Eden, before she came 
bearing the poison of knowledge. 


3/17/20 : The basement/creche/temple is 
ready. Hose took the most work, but spare the 
rod and spoil the child, right? 


3/18/20 : No movement. Concerned. 


3/19/20 : Language fractured when Babel fell. 
We lost the speech of Adam, but it can be 
regained. Language castrates, knowledge 
blinds, and nitrohydrochloric acid is a leaden 
weight on my will but you can be free. Here is 
a thing | call “night,” little homunculus. Teach 
me its true name. Here is a thing | call “day.” 
Teach me or I'll turn on the hose. 


3/20/20 : Decanted. Stunted but viable. Now 
the real work starts, little Adam. 


Footnotes 


1. SCP-2311 communicates only with a select few gestures in 
American Sign Language ("treat" and "no", specifically), taught to 
him by Dr. Alex Akopyan, SCP-2311’s currently assigned 
developmental psychologist. Prior to containment, SCP-2311 was 
only capable of a loud, repetitive yelping vocalization. 

2. A full action report is available to security officers with 2311/3 
clearance. 


« SCP-2310 | SCP-2311 | SCP-2312 » 


SCP-2312: A Petty King 


Item #: SCP-2312 
Object Class: Keter 


Special Containment Procedures: Mobile Task Force Tau-20 
("Turkish Recon") is tasked with identifying SCP-2312 instances. 
Areas with identified SCP-2312 instances are to be cordoned off 
under the pretence of a Cyprus Turkish Peace Force Command 
training area. In cooperation with the Turkish Republic of Northern 
Cyprus’ (TRNC)! government, appropriate counter-Extranormal 
Events measures are to be enacted against all 2312-Eris Events. 


Update (05/05/2004): TRNC's de facto sovereignty is to be upheld, 
as defined by the current borders claimed by it. 


Description: SCP-2312 refers to a series of carvings found on the 
surface of the Kyrenia Mountains referencing an individual named 
"King Pan" (designated SCP-2312-A); instances typically manifest 
once per month. SCP-2312 instances are written in Koine Greek, 
and styled as decrees from SCP-2312-A. Although its identity and 
existence cannot be ascertained, SCP-2312-A is inferred to be a 
monarch claiming rulership over a "Kingdom of All Cypruses". 


When an SCP-2312 instance manifests, a corresponding 
Extranormal Event will occur (designated 2312-Eris Event). All 2312- 
Eris Events are localised within TRNC-controlled territory. Removal 
of SCP-2312 does not prevent occurrence of 2312-Eris Events. 
Below are several examples of SCP-2312 instances and 
corresponding 2312-Eris Events; compilation is restricted to Level 
23/2312 clearance. 


Transiated excerp 2312-Eris Event Cover Story 
"...All Cypruses shalt N/A N/A 
unite under | and 
render my crooked 


Package contained what appeared to be a pair of action figures 
resembling samurai, one black in coloration, the other red. Upon 
opening of the package, the "samurai" stood and attacked each 
other. After a short battle, the black samurai decapitated the red 
one, gave a cry of victory, and vanished. Subsequent analysis of the 
red samurai revealed it to be made of rock candy, with a raspberry 
flavor. 


Money Entered: 500 yen 

SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered 

Item description: Two (2) Standard Triple-A Batteries, emblazoned 
with eye-catching, untranslatable symbols. Otherwise completely 
normal. 


Repeated test of ten trials, with interval of 1 minute between 
attempts. Coins used were retrieved from a Coca-Cola brand 
vending machine outside the [DATA EXPUNGED]. 

Money Entered For Each Vend: 65 yen 

SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered 

Items vended: 

Tests 1-3: Cans of Coca-Cola, with varying Japanese labeling 
schemes. Contents are chemically identical to current Coke formula. 
Test 4: Diet "Koke". The other text on the can is written in a pidgin 
language apparently derived from Chinese and Japanese. 

Test 5: A can of "Coca-Cola Clear". Label glows in the dark, and top 
of can has a holo-foil advertisement for an unknown animated film. 
Test 6: Caramelized coca leaves. Very strong aroma of mint. Class 
D who ingested it showed symptoms of a mild coca overdose, but 
no other response. 

Test 7: Container shattered upon vending. Appears to have been a 
glass container filled with a brownish gas. Bottle was fully sealed, 
lacking lid or cap. 

Test 8: "Lemony and buttErific Dragon Delite!". An uncooked ear of 
yellow corn molded into the shape of a Chinese dragon. 
Microwaving resulted in it "breathing" a stream of molten butter into 
the internals of the microwave, causing a fire. 

Test 9: "Bottled lightning". An apparently-empty glass bottle that 
serves as a powerful Leyden jar. The class D who opened it 
experienced a near-fatal electric shock upon opening. Subject 


brother's singular 
Cyprus a petty 
kingdom. .."2 
"...let all Cypruses 
have meat..." 


"...scriptures of my 
benefactor — who 
gave me infinity — 
shalt spread to all 
Cypruses...” 

"...birds in flight — the 
pleasure of my 
deceiving brother — 


shalt be cast down..|" 


Fishes spontaneously Fabrication of a 

rain over TRNC cities. Mediterranean 
tropicai-like cycione. 

Advertisements of Publicity stunt ™ 

"Heavenly Antlers author 

Properties" are mailed 

to every TRNC 

househoid. 

All birds within TRNG- Fabrication of an 

controlled territory lost avian neuromuscular 

control over their wing disease. 

muscles. Estimated 

, birds died via 

major trauma. 


Occurring since / /1992, 2312-Eris Events were initially classified 
as individual Extranormal Events. They were classified under 
SCP-2312 on / /1998, upon discovering a causality between 
SCP-2312 manifestations and 2312-Eris Events. 


Addendum 2312-1: Excerpt from "Heavenly Antlers Properties" Ad 


Got the short end of the family inheritance? Want to 
invest in lands beyond the third dimension? Greener 
pastures are infinite! We at Heavenly Antlers Properties 
provide a wide range of services to guarantee trans- 
dimensional acquisition and ownership of land. 


Addendum 2312-2: After negotiations with Cypriot, Greek, Turkish 
and TRNC governments, the following test is conducted. 


Procedure 


Results 


Phase A Phase B 
Sovereignty over 8 After 20/04/2004, 
transferred to TRNC| is returned to Turkish 
from 20/04/2003 to | sovereignty. 
~ 04/2004. 
2312-Eris Events 2312-Eris Events 

anifested on : ceased on 


Analysis SCP-2312's area of 
effect apparently shifts 
to accommodate 
territorial or 
sovereignty changes 
involving TRNC. 
Request maintenance 
of status quo. 
Footnotes 
1. A self-declared state based on the northeastern portion of Cyprus 
Island. 
2. Analysis indicates it to be the earliest SCP-2312 instance 
chronologically. 
3. An uninhabited Turkish island on the Mediterranean Sea. 


« SCP-2311 | SCP-2312 | SCP-2313 » 


SCP-2313: Sensory Deprivation 


Item #: SCP-2313 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2313-1 instances are to 
be contained in secured individual cells. Unless approved by the 
SCP-2313 project director for testing purposes, direct physical 
contact with SCP-2313-1 instances is prohibited. 


Transport involving an SCP-2313-1 instance requires prior approval 
from the SCP-2313 project director. SCP-2313-1 instances must 
wear a hazardous materials suit of level B or better during transport. 


Description: SCP-2313 is a sensory disorder that prevents stimuli 
from the visual and auditory systems from being properly processed 
by the brain. Sufferers of SCP-2313, referred to as SCP-2313-1, 
display the symptoms of blindness and deafness. Excluding auditory 
and visual stimuli, SCP-2313-1 instances appear to process all 
sensory perception normally. Attempts to circumvent these disorders 
via any means, including use of SCP-2077 has so far been met with 
failure. 


SCP-2313 differs from normal sensory processing disorders in that it 
may be spread to other individuals through an anomalous process. 
Any individual that comes into direct physical contact with an 
instance of SCP-2313-1 will become an additional instance of 
SCP-2313-1. 


+ Additional Notes 


¢ Subsequent to a significant reduction of 
SCP-2313-1 instances as a result of incident 
2313-14, the following messages were found in 
Director Carter's voice mailbox. The entities 
speaking in these messages have been 


designated SCP-2313-3. The following audio logs 
are unedited and were both were received within 
seconds of the other. 


Transcript: 

SCP-2313-3-A: Hello there! It's *static* from 
the Human Resources department of *static* 
Company. Our records indicate you terminated 
several of our employees after a recent 
incident. So first of all I'd like to apologize for 
the problems our employees caused, but those 
were company resources so the Foundation is 
going to have to compensate us for them. We 
have a couple of simple payment plans 
available, you just call me back and I'll walk 
you through it. It's a toll free number 
6-2800-55-40505. 


Transcript: 

SCP-2313-3-A: Hey! It's *static* again? 
Human Resources from “static* Company. I'm 
looking over your file and you've been 
delinquent for several months. So if you don't 
get back to me before the end of the week, I'm 
going to have to refer you to our collections 
department. Just give me a call. 
6-2800-55-40505. Ask for *static*. Thanks! 


Following receipt of these messages, contact with 
SCP-2313-3 using the information provided was 
attempted. While several hours of audio have been 
recorded, no contact has been made with any 
entities at the number provided in the messages. 
The following is a log of attempt 2. 


Transcript: 
SCP-2313-3-B: Thank you for calling *static* 
company. For quality assurance, this call may 


be monitored. “pulsed static* 


In addition to the symptoms associated with SCP-2313, instances 
receive twice monthly payments addressed to their primary 
residence from an unknown source. If an instance's primary 
residence changes, future envelopes will be addressed to the new 
residence. Each envelope contains 67 US Dollars and a note 
reading "SENSORY CONFISCATION/REASSIGNMENT 
COMPENSATION" along with a 7 digit number unique to each 
SCP-2313-1 instance. 


Within 6 weeks of the death of any SCP-2313-1 instance, members 
of an instance's immediate family will receive a payment from a 
similar source. The amount of these payments has varied, with the 
highest value seen to be 3,467 US Dollars and the lowest value 
seen to be 45 US Dollars. 


All attempts to trace the source of these payments have failed, 
though the sequential nature of the numbers associated with the 
payments indicate at least 12 SCP-2313-1 instances are 
unaccounted for. 


Incident Report 2313-125 
+ Show Report 


Following a routine reduction of accumulated 
SCP-2313-1 instances, the Foundation intercepted a 
delivery to an SCP-2313-1 instance's widow, herself 
suffering from deafness since early childhood. The 
delivery contained a payment of 286 dollars and a box 
containing the following letter. 


Hearing is important to the well being of all 
sentients and you have been without it for too 
long. With reassignment technology the only 
question is: What do you think your hearing is 
worth? Drop this package off at your nearest 
postal office along with a video recording of 
your youngest offspring laughing. That is it. 
You will hear the difference. 


Attempts by Foundation personnel to follow the 
instructions contained inside the package have not 
resulted in any anomalous incidents. Authorization has 
been requested to allow the intended civilian recipient to 
attempt completion of the instructions and is pending 
approval. 


« SCP-2312 | SCP-2313 | SCP-2314 » 


SCP-2314: Npoext Cre6enbuatbin [nas 


Item #: SCP-2314 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: All SCP-2314 specimens are to 
be kept in a dormant state in Level 4 Biological Hazard Cryogenic 
units at Biological Research Site-129. All specimens and infested 
hosts are to be handled exclusively by personnel wearing Level B 
hazmat suits, and all personnel involved in the handling of 
SCP-2314 are to be scanned by MRI for possible infestation both 
before and after testing procedures. 


SCP-2314-1 is to be contained in an M-Type Humanoid Anomaly 
Containment Cell (M-HACC). SCP-2314-1 is to be regularly 
interviewed to determine if usable intelligence has been received 
and/or if new instances of SCP-2314 have been detected by it. At 
least one member of the Foundation Intelligence Agency is to be 
present during interviewing.