"Come on, you two, it's time for bed. You've stayed up late enough, 
and you have school in the morning. What? A story? Oh no, no, your 
father has much better stories than | do. Oh alright, | guess | have 
one." 


Once upon a time, there was a Princess. Don't look at 
me like that, it's a good story, promise. Anyways, this 
Princess lived in a great castle made of steel and glass, 
buried underground. King Six kept her there, saying it 
was to keep her and the world safe. For a long time, the 
Princess believed this, and worked hard to do what King 
Six asked. The King had a brother, and also an advisor, 
a strange man who could change his body like you can 
change your socks. They called him the Bright Wizard. 
He acted as the King's mouth, asking the Princess to do 
things. Sometimes she just had to study the strange 
things he kept in the castle, and sometimes she had to 
hurt them. She didn't like when he asked her to do that, 
but the Wizard promised it was to keep everyone safe. 


The Princess worked hard, and became a high scholar 
among the others who worked for the King and the 
Wizard. The new standing attracted unwanted attention, 
however, and a Witch began to torment her when she 
slept. She traded something precious to her to a gypsy, 
hoping this would help her, but it only grew worse. She 
was so afraid, and so alone. No one else could hear 
what the Witch did to her, and she thought she was 
going crazy. She was ready to make it stop, even if it 
meant stopping her own heart. Then, when she was at 
her darkest moment, a Knight came to save her. He 
promised to protect her. From the Witch, from the 
Wizard, and even from the things King Six kept locked in 
the castle. He promised this, and he promised to make 


sure she could protect herself. The Princess fell in love 
with the Knight, and with him, she was stronger. They 
had to keep their love secret, for one of the King's 
generals was a cruel man and would see them punished 
for their happiness. 


The Princess and the Knight worked hard to keep each 
other and the friends they had made safe. For a long 
time, it seemed like they could survive anything in the 
castle of steel and glass. It was not meant to be a happy 
survival, however. One day a Seer came to the Princess, 
and told her she was with child, and this child would be 
very special. He would weave time itself, and hold a 
great evil at bay. What should have been a joyous 
announcement caused the Princess great pain. At a time 
of darkness, that seemed like so long ago then, she had 
traded something precious. She had traded her son. 
Again the Princess fell to that dark place, her Knight 
trying desperately to hold on. 


Then the war came. She watched from the side as her 
friends died to protect the castle and her child, unable to 
help or save them. The Bright Wizard watched as well, 
smiling, saying it was to keep everyone safe. The 
Princess knew now it was a lie. There was more behind 
that smile than keeping the world secure. More than 
keeping the strange things in the castle contained, and 
more than protecting the life growing inside her. When 
the time came for the child to be born, the Knight stood 
by his Princess as the gypsy and her attendants came to 
collect what she was promised. For all their talk of 
protection, King Six, his Generals and the Wizard, with 
all their power, did nothing to help. The Knight and the 
Princess watched as their son was taken away, never 
knowing his parents' touch. Their hearts torn asunder, 
and no one to help, the pair made their plans to leave the 
castle, buried so deep beneath the earth. They escaped 
into the night, never to be heard from again. 


"That's the story, kids. Now you have to sleep. What happened to 


the boy? He did exactly what the Seer said he'd do. No. They never 
got to see him again. No mummy's fine, just something in my eye. 
Goodnight." 


Bees 


Foreword: The following document consists of the diary of 

, currently SCP- -3. Upon recovery, the entire cover of the 
diary had been covered in black permanent marker, with the 
exception of several areas arranged into the shape of a stylized bee. 
Here, each page is listed separately. 


March 17 


Today | bought this diary artsy notebook thing , although 
I'm not sure why because | thought the cashier at 

was cute, okay? Thirty dollars down the fucking drain 
right there. Also, my uncle's inheritance finally got sorted 
out. There wasn't a bunch of money, but | did get a 
fuckton of his stuff afterwards. So much old stuff. 
Fucking nostalgia. 


[IRRELEVANT MONOLOGUE REMOVED] 
March 20 


Still no word from , but it does turn out she has a twin 
sister, so yeah :D 

Weird thing happened when | was looking through Uncle 

's stuff. [REDACTED] and out of nowhere | get this 

stinging stuff up and down my arm. When | looked, there 
were like five puncture marks on my arm. WTF? No sign 
of anything that could sting me, but | bought a bottle of 
Raid just in case. 


March 21 


Note to self: find out what that buzzing is. | hate it when 
you can just barely make out a sound, like that time with 
the smoke detector. | haven't herd back from the 


superintendent. The super came over and claimed he 
couldn't here anything. Cheap fuck just doesn't want to 
have to fix anything. Probably beecause that would 
require walking up stairs. 


The remainder of the page is filled with a drawing of an extremely 
rotund man (most likely , the superintendent of Mr. —'s 
building). He appears to bee eating several sub sandwiches while 
exclaiming "im just big boned yo". Notably, he also appears to bee 
wearing a bumblebee costume. 


March 22 


[IRRELEVANT MONOLOGUE REMOVED] On a side 
note, | watched a thing in the news today about bees. 
Apparently, a bunch of them are disappearing and 
nobody knows why, and now fruit and stuff isn't getting 
pollenated (implying anybody eats fruit). I'm not saying it 
was aliens, but it was aliens. But the whole thing is 
sticking with me somehow. A lot. Beeeeeees :D I'm so 
crazy. 


Buzzing isn't gone yet. If anything, it's louder. The 
exterminator couldn't here anything either. And | got 
another prick on my arm when | was digging through the 
cupboard. Either these are coincidences or I'm beeing 
paranoid. Ugh. 


March 23 


I've herd of yellow snow, but | wasn't aware that there 
are entire storms of yellow and black snow.’ How the 
fuck does that even work. Good thing | got some booze 
before it hit, because | think the power's out. Party hard! 
*sigh*... Why the shit did | move here? 


What if bees could come out of a hypothetical situation? 
[Nine pages appear to have been removed with scissors] 


What if bees were intolerant of hornets? 


What if bees were made of smaller bees? 

What if bees were made out of BIGGER bees? 

What if you picked up a phone and instead of a phone it 
was bees? 

What if there was a photo of bees? 

What if there were a bunch of bees on a plane? 

What if the dinosaurs were killed by bees? 

What if the dinosaurs WERE bees? 

What if your Facebook beecomes infested with bees? 
What if bees hacked your Facebook? 

What if someone wrote on your wall about bees? 
What if cats vomited bees? 

What if bees could travel through paintings? 

What if bees was a science and was subject to bee 
review? 

What if bees are contagious? 

What if there was a bee gun? 

What if you forgot to reload the bee gun? 

What if the computer monitor could produce bees? 
What if bees start demanding civil rights? 


What if the Magna Carta has been bees the whole time? 
What if rabbits swore allegiance to the bees? 

What if Chinese bees? 

What if millennial bees? 

What if bees were four-dimensional? 

What if bees were time-travelers? 

What if time travel turns you into bees? 

What if time travel requires bees? 

What if you could replace explosions with bees? 
What if instead of movies there were bees? 

What if you could buy bees on the black market? 
What if bees are accepted as payment in Hawaii? 
What if instead of throwing beeads on Mardi Gras you 
threw bees? 

What if bees wrote a travelogue? 

What if the travelogue was just bees? 

What if you eloped with bees? 

What if you served refreshments to bees? 

What if someone mentions bees? 


What if bees formed a religion? 
What if that religion involved clockwork bees? 


What if bees had a polite disagreement? 

What if bees were paid to rake leaves? 

What if bees were in the guise of a tundra? 

What if bees are taking over your dreams? 

What if you controlled bees with your dreams? 

What if fictional characters happened to bee bees? 
What if bees were aliens? 

What if bees come from the bee lair beeneath the Earth? 
What if bees could blow people up with the blink of an 
eye? 

What if bees were a superhero? 

What if you could mail-order bees? 

What if the store has a sale on bees? 

What if the bees had a gay pride parade? 

What if bees went to the parade with no clothes? 

What if they accidentally intentionally paved over bees? 
What if | accidentally bees? 

What if bees could live in any hollow area? 

What if bees were secret agents? 

What if you and bees had highly different taste in music? 


What if plants danced to attract bees? 

What if bees swarmed around and stung people? 
What if bees are just mad beecause someone cut them 
off in traffic? 

What if bees could disrupt your wifi? 

What if bees were replaced with a numerical code? 
What if bees resembled bees? 

What if bees resembled DIFFERENT bees? 

What if bees were exactly like the movie? 

What if bees used magic to become good at dabbing? 
What if each anime was a different color of bee? 

What if bees were nocturnal and sucked blood? 

What if bees and werewolves were sworn enemies? 
What if dogs were unable to perceive bees? 

What if bees had subwoofers? 

What if nobody realized that the bees had an evil plan? 


SCP-799: Carnivorous Blanket 


Item #: SCP-799 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: Each specimen of SCP-799 is 
to be kept in a separate bio-containment cell at Bio-Site-66. 100 g of 
dry brine shrimp is to be sprinkled over each object monthly; if this is 
not available, 500 g of household dust will suffice. It has been 
determined that Bio-Site-66’s maintenance staff remove significantly 
more than the necessary quantity of dust from the D-class dorms 
monthly. This dust is to be collected in the usual dustpan bags and 
delivered as necessary. No more than 500 g per specimen is 
necessary or advised. Should any "throw pillows" or similar objects 
appear, they are to be placed in separate containment immediately 
and the presiding researcher notified. 


The objects are not to be removed from containment except as 
authorized for testing. 


Description: Members of SCP-799 vary in size, shape, and 
superficial appearance, but always retain the appearance of a knit or 
woven item of bedding made from an unfamiliar but very soft natural 
fiber (resembling high-quality merino wool blend but identified as 
[DATA EXPUNGED)). An individual's mass ranges from 
approximately 0.5 to 6 kg and does not change except through 
ingestion and excretion, so any immediate increase in area comes 
at the expense of thickness and fabric "weight". The blanket retains 
heat unusually well. Its coloration and markings are highly variable; 
it tends strongly towards pastel hues and patterns resembling 
stylized neotenous animals, particularly when its mass is less than 
about 2 kg. 


The items are living organisms, most similar in physiology and 
structure to [DATA EXPUNGED] although alternate hypotheses 
suggest fungal origins (full notes may be found in Document 


What if bees were censored by the government? 

What if transition metals reacted with bees? 

What if bees framed a politician for larceny? 

What if bees had ties to organized crime? 

What if bees unwittingly morphed into bricks during the 
full moon? 


What if someone wrote a book about bees? 

What if bees were computer illiterate? 

What if I'm bees? 

What if bees misread directions and killed a lemon tree? 
What if bees were an accurate description of the concept 
of the assembly line? 

What if Willy Wonka was prepared for bees? 

What if bees had fetishes? 

What if bees could vibrate through walls and discern 
motives? 

What if bees were put on the No-Fly list? 

What if bees were mistaken for a Russian psyop? 

What if bees overran a mental institution? 

What if bees had daydreams about becoming lemurs? 
What if there was a wiki about bees? 

What if Wikipedia was bees? 

What if bees killed me mid-sen 


The remainder of the last page is an illustration of numerous black 
specks attacking a stick figure in a room resembling SCP- -3's 
apartment. The furniture and background also appear to be made 
out of small circles similar to those attacking the stick figure. Almost 
all of the blank space in the illustration has been filled with what are 
either stylized lightning bolts or the letter "Z". 


| locked the door. 
March 32 April? 
| don't recall, try again later. Bees. BEEEEES. 


| ran out of aloe vera, had to use mouthwash. 
Surprisingly effective, but it still doesn't help with the 
bleeding. called and we set up a date for 8PM 


Thursday, which was two hours ago. I'm surprised she 
could here me over the buzzing. Oh, and the phone was 
bees. 


Tuesday 

BEE in hexadecimal is 1646 in decimal form. My favorite 
number. Who'da thunkit. [DATA EXPUNGED] | don't 
know why | wrote that. I'm not schizo or anything. 
Disregard! 


The Godfather is on. | think | caught it part way through, 
where the guy finds bees in his bed. Look at the TV. TV 
is bees.2 


Wednesday Thursday Friday 

[A number of small oval shapes are missing from the 
paper. Small amounts of pollen were found near the 
edges.| 


| tried writing, but then the paper was bees. I'm going to 
drink a bottle of whiskey and go to bed. 


WHAT THE HELL 
BEES DO NOT GO THERE 


The following page was covered entirely in crushed bees and 
human blood upon recovery. Removal of the aforementioned tissues 
revealed that the following had been written on the page. 


came over today, and she screamed because of the 
bees. Now she is bees. | wonder why I'm not bees. 
Maybe | am? Do bees know they are bees? Yellow. 


bring it 

March 17 

The snow is mostly gone, and look at the pavement. 
Pavement is mostly not bees. I'm going to head over to 
the hospital, see if | can get this mole looked at. 


Bees followed me into the car and cut the brakes. God, | 
might be high. Good thing it was only another mile to the 


hospital SHUT UP BEES I'M WRITING IN MY DIARY 
JOURNAL 


Go to hospital 
hospital is bees. Already, how? | just got here. No, wait, 
it's just my glasses. My glasses were definitely bees. 


| didn't schedule an appointment or anything, but the 
nurse called a panic team or whatever it is and they ran 
me to a doctor. How thoughitful, but it's really not an 
emergency. | really just need them to look at a mole. 
Except that the mole is bees. 


The doctors looked at me and said they didn't see 
anything wrong. Well, of course there's nothing wrong, 
except the bees. And the bleeding, but that's to be 
expected from beestings. They argued for a while, and 
then sent me away. 


March 119 


| forgot to mention that the bees were eating the doctor. 
The others were screaming about it for a while, but when 
bees finished it they calmed down a lot and signed me 
out. 


I'm done. 
Nope.3 


[Thirty pages are missing. ] 
| am bees. 


[The remaining pages are blank.] 


Conclusion: To date, this remains the most accurate account of 
Incident -5, despite its inconsistencies. SCP- -3 has no 
recollection of writing in any form of diary, although the handwriting, 
personal knowledge, and writing style are consistent with those of