Addendum - Incident 2618-J- : On 4/19/ , during the initial 
containment efforts of SCP-2618-J, Site-59 experienced multiple 
containment breaches by SCP-__, a Keter-class amphibian entity. 
After several unintentional Hubris Events on the part of security 
staff, SCP- has been designated uncontained and reclamation 
efforts are underway. 


Incident 2618-J- , Hubris Event 2: 
<Begin Log> 
[Dr. Naismith is giving Dr. Collins CPR] 


Dr. Naismith: It's not working - | think the = venom's in 
his system. He needs a defibrillator. 


Sgt. _: Already got one. Open his shirt. 
[Dr. Naismith opens Dr. Collins's shirt] 
Sgt. : Charging. Keep at the pumping. 
Dr. Naismith: That's not a defibrillator. 


[Sgft. notices that he is holding two instances of 
SCP-2618-J. Five seconds of radio silence] 


Sgt. __: Let's never speak of this again. 
<End Log> 
+ 4/2618-J Clearance Required 


SCP-2618-J has been declared uncontained as of 4/22/ 
, when the automated watering and maintenance 
systems were revealed to have been independent 
instances of SCP-2618-J all along. The five SCP-2618-J 
trees were never brought to Site-59 from their original 


plantation in , as the recovered trees were also 
instances of SCP-2618-J all along. 


Final containment efforts of SCP-2618-J are to be 
carried out via autonomous drones as soon as possible. 
Should the drones return with independent SCP-2618-J 
instances rather than the actual trees, Contingency 
Fuqqdithshet-Alpha is to be enacted as soon as 
possible. 


SCP-3333-J: Angsty Teenage Plant 


Item #: SCP-3333-J 
Object Class: Safe (but grouchy in the mornings) 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3333-J is to remain in the 
second-floor Site-19 break room, because it should really socialize 
more often. It is to be provided a terracotta plant pot (yes, even 
though all its friends have plastic pots, there's nothing wrong with 
terracotta) and watered thrice a week with bottled water (because 
tap water makes it even moodier). It is not to be allowed to overnight 
outside, no matter how much it thinks it doesn't need a jacket. 


Note: SCP-3333-J apparently grows better when listening to songs 
by My Chemical Romance. It is allowed to do so as long as the 
volume is set to a reasonable level. 


Description: SCP-3333-J is a juvenile potted plant. It is of the 
species Chlorophytum comosum, commonly known as the spider 
plant, but seems to show preference (accelerated growth) for being 
called the lesser-known name of “airplane plant”, as well as other 
names on occasion, such as sword fern, rogue’s gilliflower, damask 
violet, and black nightshade. Personnel are reminded to not be 
alarmed should SCP-3333-J show signs of apparent resentment 
(dropping leaves, growing mold, smelling strange) when not called 
these names. "Spider plant" is wholly accurate and sufficient, and 
SCP-3333-J will never become anything different by changing its 
name. 


SCP-3333-J is not allowed to spend extended hours in the outside 
garden, no matter how much the darkly attractive evening primrose 
“gets” SCP-3333-J and its deep philosophies!. 


SCP-3333-J has been known on occasions to wilt when exposed to 
its daily sunlight. Should this occur, it is to be gently but firmly 
explained that sunlight is a necessity, even if its tortured and 


misunderstood soul believes otherwise. Exhibiting careless 
phototropism is unacceptable. Furthermore, it knows it is 
responsible for helping reduce the air pollution of the room, and how 
can it do that without sunlight to keep it healthy and growing? 


Addendum: SCP-3333-d is notoriously taciturn. It is noted that this 
behavior began when it first sorouted flowers. (See interview log) 


Dr. : Good morning, spider plant! You're looking nice 
and leafy today. | see you grew flowers! Soon you'll be 
ready to sprout cute little spiderettes. You’re growing up 
so fast. 


SCP-3333-J: ... 


Dr. : Oh. Okay. You're just not going to say 
anything? 


SCP-3333-uJ: ... 


Dr. : Well, if that's what you want... Wait. Is that 
fungus on the underside of your leaves? 


SCP-3333-J: ... [leaves rustle slightly as air conditioning 
picks up] 


Dr. : | thought | to/d you to be careful. Remember, if 
you get hooked on symbiotic root nodule bacteria and go 
making friends with the wrong crowd, you’re going to end 
up with root rot! | don't want that to happen! 


SCP-3333-J: ... 


Dr. : Maybe | should have been suspicious when you 
suddenly started sprouting flowers everywhere. You 
need to take care of yourself, okay? 


SCP-3333-J: ... 
Dr. : | can't buy special potting soil for you forever. 


SCP-3333-J: ... 


Note: The following day, SCP-3333-J was relocated to a 
corner of the break room furthest from the window. It 
later disappeared, and was rediscovered moping under 
the coffee table, having somehow tipped on its side and 
rolled along the ground. Personnel were advised to let 
the plant stay there and think about its actions. 


Memo: Hey Rivs, | think you’re being a little harsh on the 
plant. Maybe someone else should take care of it. —M 


Memo: No. That plant is growing up and needs to learn 
from its mistakes. | Know what I'm doing. —R 


Memo: It's just a plant. —M 


Footnotes 

1. Seriously, it keeps growing in the direction of the window. | know 
it has a crush on this primrose, but does it really need that much of a 
better look? 


SPC-173: A Fiesta Shark Statue Brutally Enforcing 
Vacation Time 


Project #: SPC-173 


Standardized Pugnatorial Coaching: SPC-173 is to remain pool- 
side at Oceanic Resort Area Ali indefinitely. Personnel vacationing 
at ORA Ali are required to spend at least sixty minutes within visible 
range of SPC-173 per twenty-four hour period of their stay at the 
retreat for therapeutic reasons. No fewer than three personnel are to 
remain within SPC-173's effective radius at any given time, in order 
to restrain and/or provide medical assistance to their colleagues 
should they come under assault. 


Project Components: SPC-173 is a single component; an animate 
statue of a shark (REEFER TRUE) constructed from seashells and 
driftwood. REEFER TRUE is typically inert - and generally is of no 
danger to personnel in its immediate vicinity. REEFER TRUE enters 
an active state, however, when any person visually observing it 
clenches either one or both of their fists (henceforth 'victim'). When 
this occurs, REEFER TRUE will become animate and approach the 
victim. It will then break a single digit on the offending hand(s), and 
return to its original position. This will always occur over the span of 
a single second, regardless of distance to its current victim(s). 


REEFER TRUE was moved to ORA Ali in 1998, as part of the 
experimental Project IREQUELL. It is utilized as a means to assist in 
conditioning Centre operatives to develop restraint when confronted 
with a selachian entity. Previously, operatives have been KIA during 
Centre missions, owing to their inability to calmly assess situations 
and prioritize mission-critical objectives. Operatives in the field 
would become wholly preoccupied with the engagement and 
pummeling of selachian threats. 


The reddish brown substance in the resort pool is a combination of 
A1 Steak Sauce and Hawaiian Punch. The origin of these materials 


is unknown, but they have been reported to be delicious. 


SCP-1543-J: The Sun Launcher 


Item: SCP-1543 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: Since SCP-1543-02 was built 
by The Foundation, it requires no special form of containment, 
except to keep it hidden from the public eye, due to its advanced 
technology and anomalous materials. To do this, invisibility fields 
and light reflectors will be attached, and radio-jamming signals will 
be employed. SCP-1543-01 is a sentimental keepsake, and is to be 
kept in a museum built around its original location. This museum is 
to be curated and cleaned by a top-notch maintenance crew, as 
SCP-1543-01 represents an important part of The Foundation's 
history and heritage. Also, because of this, all workers get a 
vacation at least once a year to visit, and level three and four 
receive free passes, along with cheaper access to the lecture hall. 


Description: SCP-1543-01 is a catapult with an absurdly far length 
of range, designed in 16 to meet a common need of that time: 
launching dangerous and potentially reality-altering objects into the 
sun. Apparently people thought back then that the easiest and most 
efficient way of disposing of SCPs was the burning heat of a star, 
even if the object in question could be destroyed in a simpler way, 
would escape while flying through the air, or would actually feed off 
the energy inside the thing that was supposed to annihilate it. 
Despite the fact that this was often an unnecessary waste of 
resources and time, it was often decided as the best course of 
action. 


Inside the museum surrounding it, displayed behind glass cases and 
on pedestals, painted and photographed, and sold on key chains in 
miniature form, are replicas of all the SCPs launched into the Sun by 
SCP-1543-01. Some of these include: 


* A thirty-foot monster. 


« Anormal human who, while invulnerable, was not any 
stronger than a normal man, and could feel pain. (Seriously, 
why couldn't they just keep him locked up? Leave him alone in 
a cell? Did it really bother them that much that he couldn't be 
destroyed? Was it an ego thing? Jesus Christ, they should 
have just let it go.) 


« An atom bomb from the future: caused solar flares for a 
month, half of Europe rendered sterile. 


A tiny black hole: nearly started an end-of-the-world class 
scenario. 


¢ A miniature sun: [DATA EXPUNGED]. 


¢ Heat-absorbing ring that causes mild headaches to those in 
near vicinity: Overseers told to just calm down a little bit. 


A sentient difference engine that had been requesting a better 
power source and insinuated that it might be able to use the 
sun as one: launched into the sun, achieved singularity, 
invaded earth. 


A tree that fed off energy and became stronger because of it, 
growing more and more branches that attack people: 
(Literally, this was its actual name) Entire ruling council of the 
Foundation executed for gross stupidity and incompetence. 


* SCP-682: grew wings; lot of people ended up with razor sharp 
feathers in their eyes. 


SCP-1543-02 is a large spacecraft shaped like a cannon. All the 
money that could have gone into curing diseases or designing better 
sites went into its construction (it seems to be almost an obsession 
with the higher members). Because of this, it is surrounded by three 
fusion rings, and contains a fission core, fourteen on-board Als, a 
full faculty, and the most precise aiming system ever made— 
controllers can pick the exact spot where the SCP that bounces off 
of colored objects is shot. Painted on the side is the motto, in large 
capital letters, "When in doubt, launch into the sun" (which some feel 
can never match the flair of the SCP's old creed, "Into the fiery orb 


: Again. 


[REMAINDER OF INTERVIEW CLASSIFIED. O5 
CLEARANCE REQUIRED] 


+ Interview SCP-547-B 


Fourth interview with SCP-547-Tau. Twelve weeks since 
exposure. 


Dr. : Good morning, Tau 
D-SCP-547-Tau: Good morning. 


: I'd like to perform some tests today. Please follow the 
written directions on the sheet in front of you. You have 
fifteen minutes. 


Subject Tau performs several tests, designed to highlight 
any loss in cognitive function. Results are negative. 


: Good. Now I’m going to show you a few pictures. Can 
you tell me what this is? 


D: Blue sky with clouds. 

: What do you think of it? 

D: | think- | think- | don’t know 

: How about this one? 

D: It’s a man. He’s dead. His throat’s been cut. 

:: Any thoughts on this? You used to hate this picture. 


D: It's an image of a dead human printed on photograph 
quality paper. High gloss. 


: Not quite what | was getting at. You have no opinion of 
it whatsoever? 


D: No. 


with ye"). Here is a partial list of objects launched into the sun by the 
station: 


A meteorite that causes a massive explosion when it 
unfreezes. 


A giant creature from another dimension that said it came 
here to "devour our sun": Darkness for 14 days. 


214 viruses. 
513 bacteria. 
A dark-matter sun core demon. 


12 fungi (three of which die when exposed to room 
temperature). 


A completely harmless rock that could not be destroyed as 
long as it was by the earth. 


A small globe that controls what happens on earth— whatever 
is inflicted on it occurs on our planet as well: [DATA 
EXPUNGED]. 


A box with a tiny version of our universe in it: [DATA 
EXPUNGED]. 


A "spooky" lamp. 
An equally disturbing painting. 


SCP-682: came back on fire. 


Addendum 01: | don't like the tone of this report! The sun launcher 
is freaking awesome, everyone knows real men like SCP-1543! | 
have a poster of it in my quarters! Yeah! 


Addendum 02: Because of 682's continuing resistance to being 
shot into the sun, a new solution has been devised: building an even 
bigger sun launcher, specially designed for the lizard. Rumor has it 
that this one might either: A) launch the bastard straight through the 


sun, B) launch him really hard into the sun, or C) pull the sun 
towards the station (like on wicked fire chains or something). 
Because of the costs of this massive undertaking, the research 
department had to be shut down. Lets just say they weren't pleased 
and didn't go quietly; a couple left screaming something about 
having discovered a way to kill 682. What a bunch of losers. 


Addendum 03: There is a long standing tradition of rivalry between 
the task force that runs The Sun Launcher and Team 10 Gazillion 
Nuclear Detonations All Used At Once. Both think their way is the 
best, and the other's is completely ridiculous. 


Addendum 04: Team 10 Gazillion Nuclear Detonations All Used At 
Once has been complaining because of all the focus and attention 
given to the new sun launcher, as well as all the funds being 
directed to the project. As a compromise, this deal has been 
reached: an undisclosed number of nuclear missiles have been 
placed on the spacecraft, just in case anything goes wrong, and 
buttons to activate the self-destruct sequence have been placed in 
open accessible spaces, for easy and quick access. When The 
League of Needlessly Wasting Class D Personnel heard of this and 
complained, whining of favoritism, a shipment of prisoners was 
brought up to the shuttle, to be kept in a special area outside of the 
spacecraft. Another special interest group, The White Cane, tried to 
jump on the bandwagon and asked that these Class D Personnel be 
blind for better containment procedures. They were soothed when 
we told them that the vacuum of space would most likely cause the 
guards' eyes to pop out anyway. 


Addendum 05: The Department of Arming Violent Criminals has 
successfully lobbied to have the D-Class security detail issued M249 
light machine guns. Further requests for FM, explosive, or 
incendiary ammunition are under review due to the recent 
"micrometeor shower" that inflicted roughly $7 billion worth of 
damage on [REDACTED]. 


SCP-8003-J: Why Bother? 


Item #: SCP-8003-J 
Object Class: Apollyon 


Special Containment Procedures: As per the ruling of Researcher 
Bergquist on 2/17/14, containment of SCP-8003-J is no longer 
possible, nor was it ever possible in the first place. 


While keeping SCP-8003-J in a standard locker filled with dimes at 
Site-59 would, hypothetically, serve as a temporary solution to a 
trivial problem, doing so would be meaningless in the grand scheme 
of things, on the grounds that nobody's going to remember our 
names in a billion years.