"Texas hold 'em, current blinds of 40 and 80, betting cap limit of 
4000 per player per round. Mister Carter to deal." 


The dealer riffled the deck a final time as Carter got his chips in 
order. One placed 40 out, Two placed 80, then all watched as two 
cards were dealt to each player. Carter lifted the side of his cards, 
looking at his hand: the King and 10 of Diamonds. 


K@ 104 
"Bidding on Mister Ferris." 


Three picked up the cards from the table, looked at his hand, placed 
the cards back down, then dropped 80 worth of chips besides them. 
Carter matched the blind, nodding to the dealer. 


"Bidding on Mister Colridge.” 


One nervously tapped his chin, then pushed another 40 onto his 
small blind. Two tapped the table, smiling at the dealer. The dealer 
pulled the bids to the pot, then dealt the three cards of the flop: the 9 
of Spades, the Queen of Hearts, and the 3 of Diamonds. 


94 QY 34 


The other players had their eyes on the cards; Carter had his eyes 
on them. One was smiling dumbly at the deal, then picked up his 
hand; placing it back on the table, he checked. Not a good hand for 
him, then, Carter thought. Three still stared at the table, clearly 
running some calculation in his head. 


"Bidding on Miss Friar." 


Two ran her index finger between her lips, then placed it solidly on 
her cards. She moved 200 worth of chips from her pile next to the 
cards, then nodded to the dealer. 


"Raise of 200 from Miss Friar." 


Three, without hesitation, pushed a matching bid in front of him. 
Likely had a good hand, probably at least one Queen; then again, 
Two had still been confident enough to raise. The table didn't favour 
a certain suit, so a flush wasn't bankable; the best, at present, was 
three of a kind. Still, Carter was a single Jack away from a straight; 
not to mention the small, but notable potential for a diamond flush. 


"Bidding on Mister Carter." 


The question, then, was to call or re-raise. One was likely to fold or 
check, if the estimation of a bad hand was correct; thus, calling the 
hand would stop Two from being able to raise again this round. 
Carter moved in 200 next to his cards, nodding to the dealer. The 
dealer turned to One, who sighed, pushing his cards forward. The 
dealer nodded, then collected the bids from around the table. He 
burned a card from the deck, then dealt the turn card: the 9 of 
Diamonds. 


94 QY 34 94 


Carter considered his position; a diamond or a Jack on the river 
would give him either a flush or a straight, but anything else would 
leave him with a the shared 9 pair hand from the table. Carter took a 
mouthful from his drink. 


"Bidding on Miss Friar." 
Two pushed in 1000 worth of chips. 
"Raise of 1000 from Miss Friar." 


Three looked at the table, massaging his temples. That he was 
thinking about this meant that he likely only had the one Queen; if he 
had two in his hand, the pair of nines now on the table would give 
him a full house, at which point he'd know he had won. The 
question, then, was what Two had. It was possible that she had the 
two Queens, but assuming that Three had one of them, the chances 
were rather low. She probably started, then, with one Queen and 
another of the cards on the table. If she had a Queen and a three, 


SCP-761: Slightly Less Dangerous Trampoline 


SCP-761 


Item #: SCP-761 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-761's frame is to be 
contained in a standard containment chamber, located in Site-77. 
No net is to be attached to SCP-761, except for testing purposes. 
The testing chamber is to be suspended 25 meters from any other 
surface, only accessible via elevator. Any materials or documents 
relating to SCP-761 have been stored in Site-77's non-anomalous 
documentation area. 


Description: SCP-761 is a steel trampoline frame, 2m in diameter 
and 3.5 meters tall. It shows no manufacturers mark, apart from a 
tag on the bottom of the original net which reads "PROTO-5". 


Any solid object impacting SCP-761's surface with a momentum 
exceeding 250 kg*m/s will vanish upon impact. Testing has 
determined that the object is instantaneously transported to a 
random location up to fifteen meters away, while retaining its 
momentum. This effect has resulted in a number of users being 
entombed and asphyxiating. The object transported by SCP-761 
does not appear to displace any material upon relocation, 
suggesting matter replacement based on volume. The location to 
which SCP-761 displaces the material is not known at this time. 


SCP-761 was recovered from a residential home in , IN1, where 
it had been in use during a children's birthday party. Local police 
had been called to the home when several children using SCP-761 
had been subjected to its anomalous effect. Foundation agents were 
able to cover up the incident, issuing Class-B amnestics to 
witnesses and relatives. During follow-up containment operations, 
an address was found leading to a party supply store from which 


then she had now simply improved from a Queen/3 two pair to a 
Queen/9. If she had the Queen and a 9, however, then she had a 
full house of two Queens and three nines. Carter looked over at 
Two, suddenly staring directly into her eyes as she stared straight 
back at him. 


"Call from Mister Ferris, bidding on Mister Carter." 


The best solution was to act as though he had the two Queens in his 
hand. 


Carter moved 2000 worth of chips onto the table. 
"Additional raise of 1000 from Mister Carter." 


Two smiled, moving another pile in to match the raised bet, as did 
Three, ending the bidding round. Carter smiled at Two, taking 
another drink from his glass; she rested her chin in her hands, 
smiling back. Three, meanwhile, remained oblivious, staring directly 
at the cards. One looked on at the match with a degree of joviality, 
his lost bid of 80 now seeming tiny in comparison. The dealer 
gathered the bets into the now imposing pot. All eyes were on the 
deck as the dealer burned another card, then revealed the river: the 
Jack of Hearts. Carter reviewed the table and his hand. 


94 QY 3¢ 94 JV 
K@ 10 


He had the king-high straight, then; Carter prevented himself from 
exhaling a sigh of relief. Flushes were impossible with the current 
state of the table, so the only real danger to his hand was from a full 
house. Carter was certain that Three had no such hand; from his 
subdued demeanor, it was unlikely his non-Queen card had been a 
Jack. 


"Bidding on Miss Friar." 
Two pushed 1000 worth of chips beside her hand. 


"Raise of 1000 from Miss Friar." 


Three was concerned by this, picking up his hand from the table, 
then placing it back down. He rubbed the back of his neck. He was 
clearly hesitant about the hand: yet, he had sunk the money into the 
pot, and seemed resolved to see it through. He started to move a 
pile of 1000 beside his cards, then shook his head, pushing in two 
such piles. 


"Additional raise of 1000 from Mister Ferris. 2000 to call, bidding on 
Mister Carter." 


Carter wasn't concerned about Three any more. The futile show of 
confidence had been the clincher; Three did not have a winning 
hand. The question, then, was Two. She continued to stare at 
Carter, smiling at him with almost condescending confidence. Carter 
moved his bet beside his cards. 


"Additional raise of 1000 from Mister Carter, total bid 3000. Miss 
Friar, an additional 2000 to call." 


Two pushed three piles besides her hand. 


"Additional raise, capping the table maximum at total bid of 4000. 
Mister Ferris, 2000 to call." 


Three massaged his forehead, sighed, then pushed an additional 
2000 into his bet. Carter smirked at the move, pushing in a final 
1000 of his own and ending the final round of bidding. The dealer 
collected the bids into the pot. 


"All show." 
94 QY¥ 3¢ 94 UW 
Three flipped his hand first. 
Q¢ 34 
“Two pair from Mister Ferris." 
Carter flipped his own hand next. 


K@ 10@ 


"A king-high straight from Mister Carter." 


Three closed his eyes, letting his head flop limply backwards in 
defeat. Two laughed at the gesture, then flipped the two cards in 
front of her, still untouched since the beginning of the game. 


K¥ 10¥ 
94 QY 34 94 JV 


For a second, Carter's heart skipped a beat at the sea of red, 
thinking she had a royal flush; remembering that a flush was 
impossible, he examined the hand more closely. 


"And a king-high straight from Miss Friar. Split pot between Mister 
Carter and Miss Friar, dividing 18920 into a total of 9460 apiece." 


The dealer deftly started to sort the pile; Three gathered his 
remaining chips, turned on his stool, and gestured to a passing 
member of floor staff. Carter looked over to Miss Friar inquisitively, 


curious about the unexpected hand. She smiled at him with the 
same smile she had during the match, initiating conversation. 


"Nicely done. Was half expecting you to have the two Queens." 
"Same here." 


The dealer passed both of them their winnings; each gave the 
dealer a 50 chip as a tip, causing him to dip his head in gratitude. 
Carter waved down a passing server. 


"Say, Miss Friar, let me buy you a drink to celebrate." 
"Expecting me to play worse when I'm liquored up?" 
"Well, clearly I'll need all the edge | can get, Miss Friar." 
She laughed, shaking her head. 


"You'll find that drink only makes me stronger. A rum and coke then, 
Mister Carter." 


"Please, call me Robert." 

"Ruby." 

"A pleasure to meet you, Ruby Friar." 
She grinned. 

"Likewise, Robert Carter." 


And so the night went on. 


Something slid under the door. 


Robert carefully sat up in the bed, massaging his temples. The 
Luxor's Pyramid suite was furnished with tinges of royal purple on 
the lounges and curtains; he looked towards the hieroglyphics 
plastered on the wardrobe at the foot of the bed before returning his 
gaze to the door. He heard a shuffling from outside. He stood 
upright, careful not to disturb Ruby from her rest. Robert walked 
across the room, bending down and picking up a slip of paper from 
the carpeted floor. He turned to a nearby lamp, flicking the switch as 
quietly as he could. He looked at the envelope, reading in large 
cursive Mister Robert Carter across the front. He slowly tore the top 
of it open, pulling out and reading the message inside: 


to the recipient of Robert Carter the; 

you have been stated Claimwise presently at the hence 
to forthwith of many am to. via the forthwith, Hence into 
plain and direct of the subject topic. some rational 
Inheritance of the company 

MARSHALL, CARTER AND DARKE LTD. 

is am wish to many. Consumption from the. collection at 
JUNE 26 

from the place of Residents. 

if Ever am to the not; Hotel And Casino of Luksoras room 
will yes. 

forthcoming For incomprehensible, henceways, no 
message from Incipient. 

from RUPRECHT CARTER of unDeath state 


graceless Corpuscule; 
The A-78xD United Eidolonic Collective 
(deepness for incomprehensible) 


Robert realised he mustn't have been awake enough to understand 
the note. He put it on the counter, meaning to read it upon waking; 
yet it slipped his mind in the morning, later dismissing the letter as 
an odd dream and leaving the missive to be disposed of by the 
cleaning ladies. Ruby and Robert parted ways. Days passed, as 
days do. 


On the night of the 25th of June, Robert Carter went to sleep in the 
Pyramid suite of the Luxor hotel. 


On the morning of the 26th, he awoke in an unfamiliar bed. 


« Skitter Marshall | Hub | Iris Dark » 


Iris Dark 


lris Dark was warm, comfortable, and filled with a vague sense of 
accomplishment. She sipped her hot cocoa and stared at the dully 
glowing screen. The rain poured down outside, the sun barely 
peeking through the dreary clouds. It had been expensive - very 
expensive - to buy an apartment in the City of London, but with 
algorithmic trading systems, millisecond fluctuations in the market 
could be the difference between making a hundred dollars and 
making a thousand. A small latency time was the most critical part of 
the system. London's exchange, specifically, used the Millennium 
Exchange platform, so market-side transactions could resolve in the 
sub-millisecond range; with her physical proximity to the servers, the 
software could buy and sell stocks almost instantaneously. 


If it worked (and Iris could think of no reason why it shouldn't), the 
system would notice progressive trends over incredibly small time 
frames, then capitalised on this by buying stocks en masse and re- 
selling almost immediately. The system Iris had built had a few 
advantages over previous ones: it broke down the market into 
connected subsets; for example, a small increase in the stock of one 
electronics company tended to slightly decrease others in the same 
field. By mapping these correlations rather than the individual stock 
progressions, the system was substantially more robust than those 
before. It didn't model any of the instantaneous values of individual 
stocks, nor even their derivatives; the system was more interested in 
the changes of short-term intra-market trending, and exploiting that 
to drive a profit. 


Iris wasn't a 'people person’, but then, the investors into her project 
had liked that degree of naive transparency. Her pitch packet was 
composed of three unpublished but peer-reviewed academic papers 
on market tracking, 50 pages worth of system output and plots from 
a scaled-down tracker, and a page at the end with nothing on it but 
"Thanks for your consideration." 


While none of the investors had really understood the mechanics 
and mathematics of the methodology, they had very much liked the 
shiny graphs which showed the amount of money going up. 


Iris pressed the control and F7 keys, and the software started 
building the C code into an FPGA programmable format. She stood 
from her seat and walked over to the cardboard box in the corner of 
the room. Iris pulled a box cutter from her pocket, slicing open the 
tape and pulling off the packaging. Inside, the box was filled with 
Altera Stratix V development boards; not separately packed, but 
rubbing against one another. lris felt her eye involuntarily twitch at 
the carelessness of the packer, but was willing to disregard it. Stratix 
boards were thousands of pounds apiece; wholesale, this single box 
would have cost ten times what she had paid for the apartment. Yet, 
a small reseller on Amazon was charging under a hundred apiece 
when bought in bulk. For the parallel processing that her system ran 
on, bulk was what Iris wanted, and she was glad to take the deal. 


The computer beeped, having finished the software build. Iris pulled 
a random board from the box, taking it to her computer and plugging 
it into a USB cable. The lights of the board turned on, glowing green 
and red. While clearly the board was being powered, her computer 
wasn't recognising the connection. She searched the net to find 
suitable drivers, downloading and installing them from the company 
website. A small beep, and the board was visible to the system. Iris 
moved through the setup prompts, configuring the software to flash 
to the board. She clicked the final confirmation box, and was greeted 
by: 


Invalid board connection. (Code: 59277402) 
"Shit." 


Iris searched the net again, this time looking up the error code; 
predictably, the support was utterly useless. It could have been a 
mistake in the cable; Iris tried a different one. Again, she ran through 
the long and arduous task of establishing the connection, until again: 


Invalid board connection. (Code: 59277402) 


"Shit!"