Reviews of SCP-2809 events from wayfarer.com 


"Really Happy!" 


VVVAV — Write-up by iGurl13 one month ago. 


This wasn’t at all what | expected but it WAS exactly 
what | needed. Thanks Quondam! 


Useful? S 
" (" 
WAY ie Write-up by Boomstick two weeks ago. 


Disco needs to stay dead. 


Useful? 7 


"Wow!" 


VISAS — Write-up by FryGuy three months ago. 


OMG best holiday ever! My mum did so much coke! 


Useful? Sf 


"Not Impressed" 


= Write-up by Pilgrim5 six months ago. 


Dear Quondam, | wish to make you aware of the reasons 
| am unhappy with the quality of your service: 

The hotel was decidedly dated. The decor did not appear 
to have been updated in several decades, the lights were 
dim and flickered and | couldn't pay with chip and pin in 
the restaurant. | was hoping to stay in a hotel with more 
modern facilities. The area in which we were staying was 
charmingly quaint. It was really quite pleasant in a rustic 
way but again lacked many of the conveniences of the 
modern world. Overall | was not impressed. 


Useful? f 


"Thank You Quondam!" 


MS SS~ -Write-up by ReeseDN38416 five days ago. 


Thank you for giving me this experiance. Its a real life 
changer. 


Useful? nA 


"Mixed Feelings" 


VSS - Write-up by DarkD three weeks ago. 


| never thought I'd get to know my dad. Now | wish | 
hadn't. What a prick. Not Quondam's fault, though. 
Otherwise not at all bad. 


Useful? mA 


"Definitley Reccommena" 


VVSS- Write-up by DrSam53 four months ago. 


fun holiday no wifi tho so marked down 


Useful? od 


"Oops. " 


VVSVSS — Write-up by WyldStallion89 three days ago. 


| did a bad thing. 


Useful? ra 


« SCP-2808 | SCP-2809 | SCP-2810 » 


SCP-2810: Turtles All the Way Down 


Item #: SCP-2810 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: Cultures of SCP-2810 are 
contained in vacuum-sealed glass flasks in the Site-42 infectious 
materials lab. Captive instances of SCP-2810-1 kept for study 
should be contained in Level-4 Biohazard Containment Cells, with 
no more than 1 instance per cell. Mobile Task Forces Beta-7 (Maz 
Hatters) and Lambda-12 (Pest Control) are tasked with investigating 
and neutralizing all wild instances of SCP-2810-1. 


Description: SCP-2810 is an unidentified pathogen, first discovered 
in Siberia, that infects multicellular organisms, causing the cells of 
the organism to transform into cell-sized versions of the organism 
itself (e.g. a human's cells become cell-sized humans, a sunflower's 
cells become cell-sized sunflowers). These composite organisms 
attempt to carry out the bodily functions of the original cells in an 
analogous manner. For example, human lungs are composed of 
actual humans that inhale and exhale, while plant leaves are 
composed of smaller, wilted plants arranged and folded in such a 
way that only their leaves are exposed to sunlight. Microscopic 
examination reveals that these cellular-sized composites are 
themselves composed of exponentially smaller composites carrying 
out their bodily functions, which in turn are composed of smaller 
copies, and so on. Composites do not respond to any external 
attempts at communication despite replicating cell signaling of their 
host organism. Despite the size of the composites precluding 
cellular function in many cases (such as gas exchange), infected 
organisms (termed SCP-2810-1) and their composites are able to 
survive and reproduce, albeit in extremely poor health. 


SCP-2810 is spread by physical contact and transfer of bodily fluids. 
Organisms do not notice the conversion of their cells, and become 
fully infected within approximately two months. A cure has yet to be 


found. Other symptoms of the infection vary in instances of 
SCP-2810-1. 


Infected animals may engage in dermatophagia and 
dermatillomania, which in turn often develops into autosarcophagy, 
as well as displaying dramatically reduced cognitive abilities, 
stamina, and coordination. For example, human instances can 
recognize their illness until the late stages of the disease, thereafter 
professing ignorance of the disease. Animal instances also become 
much more cooperative and social with each other, even in solitary 
species. Infected plants produce very little fruit, and any fruit 
produced tends to be a poor facsimile of the fruit of an uninfected 
plant. Infected fungi and protists have weakened cell walls, and tend 
to be sterile. However, despite being in poor physical and mental 
health, instances of SCP-2810-1 become totally immune to all other 
known diseases, mutagens, and toxins, and have drastically 
increased lifespans. 


Addendum: Incident 2810-2: On / / , Mobile Task Force 
Lambda-12 encountered a mosquito with a wingspan of 10 meters 
preying on a herd of zebras in Africa. It was not deterred by 
traditional insect-repellant measures, and attempted to feed on the 
Task Force. Lambda-12 used flamethrowers to kill the creature, 
which was found to be composed of millions of SCP-2810-1 
instances. 


« SCP-2809 | SCP-2810 | SCP-2811 » 


SCP-2811: Kali Yuga 


Item #: SCP-2811 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2811 is to be kept ina 
storage locker in Site-11. SCP-2811 is to be taken out of 
containment at least once every twenty minutes to prevent further 
modifications to text body. 


Description: SCP-2811 is alarge paperback book titled" _, blue”. 
Preliminary investigations revealed no author or publishing house 
linked to that name. The item numbers 564 pages of text, excluding 
the title page and a final blank page. The report of SCP-2811's 
acquisition is available for perusal in Document 2811-0X. 


Upon discovery the original narrative of SCP-2811 was written in an 
amalgam of different literary elements, including those of romantic, 
classical, and post-modern styles. The story follows a despondent 
writer's obsession with a woman he meets after his relocation to 
Paris. When the individual assigned to reading SCP-2811 resumed 
reading the following day, researchers found the text had shrunk to 
accommodate new passages of varied length. Subsequently, 
personnel determined the precise sequence of effect as being thirty 
minutes of inactivity - defined as the object being placed on a stable 
surface and not coming into physical contact with a biological agent 
at any point - to produce approximately 500 words of text. 


These additions have been of divergent nature. Passages expound 
on the minutia of minor character's lives, lecture on the history of 
geographic regions as well as private locations such as a 
character's kitchen, and have known to describe concepts and 
abstractions in an unusual style. Regardless of content, the 
additions are tangential to the main narrative in nature. The 
anomalous effect can be likened to that of a Koch Snowflake, a 
figure that depicts an infinite set of points existing in a finite, 


Although cancers are advanced, they do not follow normal 
progression. Two of the cases, with a prognosis of weeks at best 
under normal conditions, have remained alive since at least 
Occupants are alert but in great pain and unable to speak. 


Every 24 hours, at approximately 4 am, SCP-329 undergoes Event 
329-A. The door closes with great force and cannot be reopened for 
the duration of the Event. Anything obstructing the doorway is pulled 
into the room. Event 329-A lasts for approximately 20 minutes, after 
which it is possible to open the door again. 


Equipment for remote observation and recording is rendered inert 
during 329-A in a manner consistent with a nonstandard space-time 
event. The only sounds heard from outside during 329-A are 
screaming from the room's occupants. 


After the event, occupants are apparently unharmed, bearing no 
incisions or external trauma. Their tumors, however, have been 
altered, in some cases radically. They have been reshaped and their 
direction of growth has been altered. Three of the occupants have 
tumors of more than twenty feet in length, twining around and 
through bones and organs. SCP-329-05, who was cancer-free 
before he was exposed to Event 329-A, was found after the event to 
have developed a T1NOMO lung cancer, which in the three weeks 
since has grown to T3. 


Only people inside the room are affected by 329-A. In those who 
have been removed from the room, their cancer progresses 
normally, resulting in death. 


Discovery: SCP-329 was discovered by a group of 

University medical students who noticed abnormal cancers in the 
bodies of indigents supplied for dissection. They traced the source 
to SCP-329, which was being used as a squat. They came to the 
Foundation's attention through material they circulated on the 
Internet under the name of the "Church of the Gardener" (see 
Document 329-1). 


When a Mobile Task Force secured SCP-329 the "Church" had 
been operating for eleven months, luring indigents to the building 
with promises of drugs and shelter and subjecting them to Event 


bounded figure. 


Since procurement the size of SCP-281 1's text has been reduced to 
microscopic scale. There is no theoretical limit to the amount of text 
that SCP-2811 may contain. To repeat, the original narrative 
remains coherent throughout these digressions but its conclusion 
remains physically elusive as passages have been observed to 
appear in all areas of the text body, with the font shrinking in 
proportion to passage length. Research is ongoing. 


Text locator 
p. 100 -131 


145 - 180 


254 - 265 


Notabie Developments 
Narrator becomes infatuated with 
a woman named he meets in 
a Parisian cafe. The narrator 
believes the woman is a figure of 
divine retribution. He showers her 
with adoration and plans to 
compose a book of writings in her 
name. 

Digression into the genealogy of a 
man the narrator notices wearing 
unusually dark attire in his first 
morning in Paris, whom he refers 
to as wearing "night alone in all 
that glowing street". It is also 
revealed the man has a daughter, 
subsequently which the narrator's 
voice is lost in the text as it shifts 
to the child's experience. Approx. 
30 - 50 pages follow detailing the 
eight-hour duration of this 
daughter's afternoon with her 
mother spent being taught 
weaving. 

An 18-year history of an alleyway 
in Dublin in the area of the 
city. The text describes the 
thoughts and emotions of all 
individuals who squatted or 
passed through the location. 


254 - 287 


309 - 310 


311 - 367 


A passage in poetic verse, 
apparently on the subject of war. 
SCP-2811 is capable of apparent 
intertextuality, as pairs of lines 
were revealed to have been taken 
from existing poems written 
during World War | & Il: "| know 
that | shall meet my fate/ 
Somewhere among the clouds 
above/It seemed that out of battle 
| escaped/Down some profound 
long tunnel, long since scooped/ 
The darkness crumbles away,/It is 
the same old druid Time as ever,/ 
We came upon him sitting in the 
sun, Blinded by war, and left.” 
The names of 5 women living in 
the modern Greek city of 

who have lost a child. Follow-up 
investigations discovered the 
women currently living within a 5- 
mile radius of each other in 
aforementioned location. 
Original-Narrative (designated 
ON) text describing the writer's 
distress at having his advances 
rejected by . At one point 
when he is in his apartment 
overlooking the wharf, the 
narrator happens to see there 
holding the hands of an 
unidentified man. In a fit of 
apparent psychosis, the writer 
transcribes a 6,000 word series of 
writings in which he believes 

is ,a Goddess and cosmic 
force of destruction. Fragment: 
"pathe in milk the sobbing scars 
of earth and hear the trees of 
summer sheen-singing again, O 


401 - 445 


523 - 534 


540 - 545 


, the red-song out of the sky, 
bludgeoner of the face of 
Creation, O the clouds and sweet 
fire, the clouds and sweet fire” 

A digression into the uncensored 
stream-of-consciousness of three 
men camping by aLake_ , ME. 
Operatives were able to confirm 
the outing had occurred recently 
as the text noted. 

Final ON text fragment locate- 
able. described as cradling 
the body of a suicide by an 
unknown river, the first recorded 
omission of a place-name in the 
text. Efforts into triangulating the 
remainder of the narrative have 
proved unsatisfactory. 

Current final pages of text follow 
the ongoing stream-of- 
consciousness of a helicopter 
pilot in Hong Kong who suffers 
from a fear of his wife's infidelity. 


« SCP-2810 | SCP-2811 | SCP-2812 » 


SCP-2812: Echoes of Yesterday 


Item #: SCP-2812 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: Observational Site 
81-2 has been established thirty km from SCP-2812-1 along the SR 
exiton US _, currently posing as an abandoned used-car 
dealership. This site is to be staffed with no fewer than three 
Foundation agents posing as local law enforcement, and two staff 
researchers. Due to the nature of SCP-2812-1, and the effect it has 
on human behavior and local architecture and engineering, the on- 
site staff is to be rotated out once every four weeks, and exiting staff 
will undergo routine physical and mental health examinations. 


SCP-2812 is contained currently by its own anomalous properties, 
and by Foundation roadblocks along US ,SR ,andSR .A 
perimeter is to be established around SCP-2812-1's range of 
influence (currently estimated at km, see Addendum 2812 Epsilon 
for additional details), and under no circumstances are civilians 
allowed to enter the town limits. Fences were initially 
constructed around the business plaza where SCP-2812-1 is 
located, but have since fallen into disrepair. The door to the building 
housing SCP-2812-1 is locked. 


All instances of SCP-2812-2 are to be approached with extreme 
caution and captured if possible, then moved to Observational Site 
81-2 for analysis and containment. All Foundation personnel 
stationed at Observation Site 81-2 are to be trained in light arms 
combat, and are required to carry a sidearm with them at all times 
while in the field. 


Description: SCP-2812 collectively refers to two different 
anomalous phenomena located in the town of , IN. 


SCP-2812-1 is a 1930's record player housed in the main concourse 


of the Limestone Business Center.! The player is made up almost 
entirely of wood, brass, and glass, with other smaller fixtures 
included (although nothing unusual of a record player of the time). 
Two small brass plates are affixed to opposite sides of the player 
which read: 


To our friends at Indiana Limestone, best wishes for 
1935! 


-The Joy of Listening, Matherson Music- 


No records are visible inside of SCP-2812-1, however, SCP-281 2-1 
has been playing a slightly slowed version of the song "Yesterdays" 
by Jerome Kern, on repeat since its activation and discovery in 20 . 
The runtime of the track is 5:14, after which there is ten second 
pause. SCP-2812-1 does not appear to be connected to any visible 
power source. 


The primary anomalous effect of SCP-2812-1 is a powerful physical 
and psychological compulsion apparent in all individuals within 
SCP-2812-1's range of effect. Subjects in the town of 

universally believe that they have to "get out of town" and not return. 
This manifests primarily as a psychological compulsion, however, in 
humans it may also manifest as a very real physical barrier. 
Individuals claim that, as they grow closer to SCP-2812-1, they feel 
as if they are walking "into the wind" or "through water", that is, with 
some physical resistance. Stress testing on subjects revealed 
documentable physical stressors on all of those inside 
SCP-2812-1's range of effect.