Item Description: A wooden chair that, when sat in by a homo 
sapiens in front of a desk, will cause the aforementioned homo 
sapiens to say in their native language that they are "very busy". 
Primates will vocalize in English. 

Date of Recovery: 02-17-2011 

Location of Recovery: Memphis, Tennessee. 

Current Status: In Storage In Dr. 's Office. 


Item Description: 32 sheets of paper that will animate drawings 
upon them for 15 seconds after being drawn. Animated drawings do 
not exhibit awareness of the three dimensional area around them. 
Date of Recovery: 09-26-2015 

Location of Recovery: A FedEx Office Print & Ship Center in 
Plymouth, Minnesota. 

Current Status: Site-42's recreational room. 


Item Description: A picture that changes based on the current 
holiday. On non-holidays, it is a picture of a Siamese cat. An 
unidentified male voice gives the appropriate greeting for the holiday 
to anyone who looks at the picture. 

Date of Recovery: 01-01-2010 

Location of Recovery: A house in London. 

Current Status: Hung on a wall in Site-19's main lobby. 


Item Description: A sculpture of Santa that says "Ho-ho-ho" to 
anyone who goes near it at night. It also yells out the last naughty 
act of anyone on the naughty list who goes near it. 

Date of Recovery: 12-24-2015 

Location of Recovery: A house in California. 

Current Status: On the fireplace in Site-19's main lounge. 


Item Description: A set of candy canes which regenerate when 
consumed, and causes any kid who consumes one to be 
exceptionally nice for 30 days. Subsequent consumptions renew this 


period of niceness. 

Date of Recovery: 12-01-200 . 

Location of Recovery: A candy store in , California. 
Current Status: In Site- 's Cafeteria for snacks. 

If we could take our kids to work, they would enjoy these. -Agent 


Item Description: An ornate compass. Regardless of magnetic 
interference or any other variables, the object's needle will always 
point towards the location of a woman named 

Date of Recovery: - -2014 

Location of Recovery: Perugia, Italy 

Current Status: In storage. 


Item Description: A juicy blender made by Inc. All comments 
about its juiciness will be altered immediately after writing to mention 
how juicy it is at regular intervals, sometimes adding text to 
accommodate the object's juicy properties that was not originally 
written. All added text about the juicy blender will be in the style of 
the original writing, although text will not be added if there is not 
enough space. 

Date of Recovery: 07-17-2010 

Location of Recovery: Kansas City, KS, USA 

Current Status: In storage to properly contain the object's juiciness. 
Notes: Inc. denies creation of the juicy object. Investigation into 
the matter revealed that the effect transferred to all blenders created 
by Inc. other than the juicy one for exactly one minute beginning 
at 8:29 CST, on 07-03-2010. Inc. is to be monitored by the 
Foundation for further anomalous activity, although one of their 
blenders is juicy. 


Item Description: A pile of dirt in a pot that contain the remains of a 
moth orchid (Phalaenopsis). 

Date of Recovery: 12-23-2016 

Location of Recovery: Minot, ND, USA 

Current Status: In the botanical storage facility of Site- In storage. 
Notes: All text about it will alter itself immediately after it is not 
observed by any human or humanoid. These alterations will override 
the last section of text on the documentation to include a description 
of the item's anomalous properties. If there is already a section of 


text describing them, it will simply be moved, still overriding the last 
section. Object's properties appear to stay even after the plant itself 
died of natural causes. - Dr. Morpho 


Item Description: A collection of 20 "bath bombs" that are space 
themed, subjects that go in water affected by the bath bombs claim 
to be in space on a "mission to save earth from the evil space alien 
Zargop". 

Date of Recovery: 11-16-2016 

Location of Recovery: [REDACTED], USA 

Current Status: In Storage Site-156, chemical testing begins on 


Item Description: A steam iron. When used, clothing being ironed 
will emit a loud scream as long as direct contact with the iron is kept. 
Date of Recovery: 01-03-2017 

Location of Recovery: Washington, England 

Current Status: In Storage at Site-17. 


Item Description: A . When directly described in any digital text 
format, the description will immediately be replaced with a JPEG 
image of , varying in appearance and quality. 

Date of Recovery: 19-01-2017 

Location of Recovery: The house of the family, Sunderland, 
England. 

Current Status: Low-security animal containment unit at Site-1 7. 
Note: Her name is Elsie. - Dr. Weppler 


Item Description: A yellow stress ball that, when looked at or held 
for any period of time longer than two minutes, will result in the 
subject suffering a heart attack and expiring. 

Date of Recovery: 12-10-2016 

Location of Recovery: Agent Ross's office desk at Site-12 
Current Status: In storage at Site-12's High-Security Visual Hazard 
Ward. 


Item Description: A dog of indeterminate appearance that can only 
been seen and interacted with by people who do not have any living 
pets. The dog's appearance, size and breed changes between 
viewings, although all subjects universally agree on its physical 
location. 


Date of Recovery: 13-09-2016 
Location of Recovery: RSPCA shelter in Rnodehampton, Australia 
Current Status: Neutralized after adoption by Dr. Ellis. 


Item Description: A purple leather bandanna that, when worn, 
makes the wearer absolutely obedient of those in higher authority 
than themselves. 

Date of Recovery: 09-26- 

Location of Recovery: Tegucigalpa, Honduras. 

Current Status: -In Site 15 storage In Director _ 's office. 


Item Description: A pair of dumbbells with no label telling the exact 
weight. When used, users will report that it is the perfect weight for 
physical exercise. 

Date of Recovery: 07-13- 

Location of Recovery: Anytime Fitness Center, Madison, 
Wisconsin. 

Current Status: In Site-15's break room. 


Item Description: A piece of white printer paper with a realistic 
drawing of an unknown species of mushroom. When making direct 
visual contact with the paper, subjects have vivid hallucinations, as 
well as increased levels of dopamine. 

Date of Recovery: - -2018 

Location of Recovery: , CA, USA 

Current Status: In storage. 


Item Description: A —-brand roll of household toilet paper which, 
instead of getting less after usage, increases its overall length after 
6 hours by 5.15% of it's total mass. 

Date of Recovery: -07-1992 

Location of Recovery: , Germany 

Current Status: Used in Site 15 bathroom near break room. 


Item Description: A fluorescent orange plastic vuvuzela that, when 
played, renders the user invisible to the naked eye or cameras. 
Date of Recovery: 05-06-2010 

Location of Recovery: Johannesburg, South Africa 

Current Status: In Safe-level storage. Missing. In storage. 

Notes: Don't be stupid. We might not see you, but we sure can hear 
you. - Site 17 Security 


Item Description: A small tire track eel (Wastacembelus Armatus) 
that can float through the air and somehow does not require 
respiration. 

Date of Recovery: 07-01-20 

Location of Recovery: A pet shop in Burlingame, California. 
Current Status: In biological storage in Site- . Original object died 
of natural causes, anomalous properties did not remain. Object's 
offspring exhibited the same anomalous properties of the original 
object after maturing. Remaining subjects kept in biological storage 
in Site- 


Item Description: A - Pickup Truck. When any person who 
attempts to enter or climb onto the bed of the truck without 
permission of the owner (typically the current driver), they will be 
unable to do so, even if assisted through external means. 

Date of Recovery: - -2013 

Location of Recovery: City, Philippines 

Current Status: Being used by Agent R 

Notes: It's useful. Too many damn kids have tried to hitch a ride on 
my truck before. - Agent R 


Item Description: A Boeing 767-12ER aircraft that took off from 
PHX Sky Harbor Airport in Phoenix Arizona on 12-11-1990. Once 
airborne, the plane climbed to an altitude of 1200 feet before 
suddenly stopping in mid-air. It is suspected that all inside the plane 
suffered the the same effect as passings by other aircraft have 
shown people but no movement or sound. 

Date of Recovery: 12-12-90 

Location of Recovery: 4233 Meters south-west of Phoenix, 
Arizona. 

Current Status: Shot down under direct order of Site-12's Director, 
Dr. Lang, on 11-03-15. No anomalous effects remain in the pocket 
of air where the air plane had been and the plane's wreckage shows 
no anomalous effects whatsoever. The plane's wreckage is currently 
stored at Site-12's Non-Anomalous Storage Lab. 


The corpse of R. ,a former filing assistant for the Foundation 
who was KIB on 06-07-2017. Any text about the object will be 
altered immediately after writing to be more organized, often to an 
inflated or unnecessary degree. 


06-07-2017. 


Site-77. 


1. Object artificially preserved and kept in a standard KIB memorial 
at Site-02. 

2. Copies of documentation on a plaque. 

3. Amnesiacs administered to R. — 's living family and friends. 


Item Description: A waterborne neurological disease with minor 
symptoms. Infected hosts become very polite, neat, and develop a 
liking for bow ties. Disease is easily fought off by immune system. 
Date of Recovery: 06-04- 

Location of Recovery: Several cities in Lithuania. 

Current Status: Samples in storage. 


Item Description: A wallet that, when closed, automatically empties 
whatever is inside. 

Date of Recovery: - - 

Location of Recovery: Raleigh, North Carolina 

Current Status: Incinerated. 

Notes: Can't believe | lost twenty bucks to this @!/$4@$@!, glad it 
was incinerated. - Dr. Joseph 


Item Description: An brand controller that compels the user to 
throw it after dying in any game. 

Date of Recovery: 06-15- 

Location of Recovery: New Jersey Gaming Convention 
Current status: In Site-14 storage. Currently searching for other 
specimens. 


Item Description: A bag of brand chocolate morsels. Eating 
more than one piece at a time results in the chocolate tasting 
strongly of human fecal matter. 

Date of Recovery: 07-02-2013 

Location of Recovery: Bakery in Allentown, New York 
Current status: In Site-53 cold storage. 


Item Description: A horror movie poster that changes to another 


horror movie poster every night. Anyone who looks at it gets 
nightmares and eventually gets too tired to do anything. 
Date of Recovery: 10-10-2010. 

Location of Recovery: Hollywood. 

Current Status: Incinerated. 


Item Description: A red ballpoint pen that has magnetic properties 
despite being made of non-magnetic materials. 

Date of Recovery: 01-19- 

Location of Recovery: Middle School 

Current Status: In storage 


Item Description: An oven that "bakes" people 

Date of Recovery: - - 

Location of Recovery: School of 

Current Status: Site-19, being used as a replacement for SCP-420- 
J 

Notes: This is the best — in the world, man -Dr 


Item Description: A black ballpoint pen that writes down the 
opposite of what the user is trying to write. 

Date of Recovery: - -20 

Location of Recovery: The office of Dr. Keyser. 

Current Status: Located in the office of Dr. Keyser. 

Notes: | think I'll keep this when | retire. - Dr. Keyser 


Item Description: A female specimen of Gallus gallus domesticus, 
the domesticated hen. Eggs produced by it do not contain yolk or 
amniotic fluids, but are instead filled with a random common cooking 
ingredient, such as milk, flour, or chocolate. Immediately after 
oviposition, the item will breach the shell and consume the contents 
of the egg if not prevented from doing so. 

Date of Recovery: 01-07-2017 

Location of Recovery: Thornton, Colorado. 

Current Status: Contained in the aviary of Site-24. 


Item Description: A packet of cat food that tastes like dog food 
Date of Recovery: - -20 

Location of Recovery: Low-security animal containment unit at 
Site-17 

Current Status: Incinerated 


SCP-898: Memetic Counter-Agent 


Item #: SCP-898 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: Information pertaining to the 
creation and application of SCP-898 is restricted to Foundation 
personnel with level 3 clearance or higher. Experimentation with 
SCP-898 may only be conducted with the approval of a majority of 
the Overseer council. 


Description: SCP-898 is a memetic disorder specifically created by 
Foundation researchers for the purpose of serving as a defense 
mechanism against other memetic or mind-affecting attacks. Its 
development was undertaken as part of Operation Azure Skies in 
1992. The objective of Azure Skies was to design and employ a 
variety of devices to protect Foundation personnel in the field from 
supernatural threats that conventional technologies were not 
sufficient to guard against. SCP-898 specifically was created over 
the course of three (3) years of study and experimentation, taking 
information from analyses of already known memetic SCPs to drive 
a gestalt Research and Development program. The SCP-898 project 
was overseen by Dr. Grienko during its run, until its official 
cancellation on December 22nd, 1995. 


The conclusion Dr. Grienko and his subordinates reached was that, 
since any memetic compulsion, by definition, involves the inspiration 
of an idea in the target's mind, the most obvious defense 
mechanism was another type of inspiration, preferably one that 
would create a more powerful compulsion and override the first 
meme. To that end, Grienko proposed that a simple, biologically- 
motivated catalyst might be the solution. According to the theory he 
developed, when a subject's mind that had already been infected by 
SCP-898 detected a potential memetic invasion, SCP-898 would 
automatically stimulate the subject's sympathetic ganglion to flood 
the subject's system with adrenaline and provoke a fight-or-flight 


Are you sure it wasn't just dog food in the wrong can? - Dr. Michaels 
Yes, I'm sure. - Dr. Stevens, Head of low-security animal 
containment site 

Question: who tastes this @!$#? - Dr. Jorge 

| do. -Dr. Stevens, Head of low-security animal containment site 


Item Description: A campfire that flares up whenever an animal 
sneezes within eight meters of it. 

Date of Recovery: 06-16-2017 

Location of Recovery: National Park 

Current Status: Extinguished. Remains showed no anomalous 
properties. 


Item Description: A white plastic salt shaker. The object has the 
ability to instantaneously melt all snow within a 55-meter radius of it. 
Date of Recovery: 01-13-2017 

Location of Recovery: A _'s restaurant building in , Ohio 
Current Status: Being used for snow clearing at Site- 

Note: Try not to bring this near SCP-804 while you're at it. 


Item Description: A creature of the genus Apis (Honey bee) that 
can remove any substance of color. 

Date of Recovery: 01-13-2017 

Location of Recovery: Knoxville, Tennessee 

Current Status: Kept in low-security animal containment site 


Item Description: A brand plasma screen television. The 
television is unable to play any form of animation that can be 
referred to as "Anime," a Japanese style of animation. Instead of 
anime playing, "ANIME WAS A MISTAKE" in large red letters is 
portrayed on a black background. 

Date of Recovery: 04-11-2016 

Location of Recovery: Augusta, Kansas 

Current Status: In storage. 


Item Description: A living Yarn Yoshi doll. 

Date of Recovery: 01-10-2017 

Location of Recovery: The house of the family. 

Current Status: Pending use. 

"It's the cutest thing ever! Why would we take it away from them?" - 
Dr. Betancourt