Location of Recovery: A recently abandoned warehouse in ; 
England 

Current Status: Held in Site- 's low-value vehicle garage. 


response. The subject would then dismiss the invading meme in the 
process of either initiating an attack or in fleeing from the meme's 
effective range. 


The method for detecting invading memes revolved around tracking 
sudden changes in the subject's limbic system. A common trend 
Grienko and his team had observed among memetic viruses known 
to the Foundation was that nearly all of them stimulated an 
unusually high amount of activity in the orbitofrontal cortex, and so 
SCP-898 was designed to activate in response to this stimulation, or 
if the subject became consciously aware of a memetic attack (which 
would frequently start off orbitofrontal cortex activity as well). In 
order to ensure that SCP-898 would provide adequate protection 
against all types of memes, Grienko opted to form the core of his 
counter-meme around all five senses. SCP-898 at its completion 
would include auditory, visual, olfactory, tactile, and taste-based 
elements. 


¢ Auditory Components- [DATA EXPUNGED] 

* Visual Components- [DATA EXPUNGED] 

¢ Olfactory Components- [DATA EXPUNGED] 

* Tactile Components- [DATA EXPUNGED] 

* Taste Components- [DATA EXPUNGED] 

*« Meme Inception Process Summary- [DATA EXPUNGED] 


Addendum (1/17/1995): After the inception is completed, a Class A 
amnestic must be administered in order to prevent "looping," "auto- 
activation," and related phenomena (see Incident Reports 898-14 
through 898-20). -Dr. Grienko 


Refer to documents [DATA EXPUNGED] for more details. 


Incident Report 898-14 

On September 22nd, 1994, the first complete "draft" of SCP-898 
was administered to thirty (80) D-class subjects, who were then 
locked into Secure Chamber #34 in Site-12. A loudspeaker installed 
in the room began to play a recording of SCP-444 after all the 


Item Description: A metal fork and spatula. Anyone who observes 
the fork will refer to it as a small spatula, and anyone who observes 
the spatula will refer to it as a large fork. 

Date of Recovery: 03-09-2017 

Location of Recovery: Cedar Springs, Colorado, USA 

Current Status: In Site-27's kitchen. 


Item Description: A pair of glass cups that cause anything poured 
in one cup to instead appear in the other one. 

Date of Recovery: 03-12-2017 

Location of Recovery: 5; 

Current Status: In Site- 's low value item storage 

Notes: Do not use these for pranks or practical jokes. - Agent D 


Item Description: A piece of brand notebook paper that reads 
"Stop making so many fucking infohazards" written in black felt-tip 
marker. Any subject that looks at it and works for the Foundation will 
attempt to create many false entries regarding certain infohazards 
that don't exist in the "Log of Anomalous Items" file. 

Date of Recovery: 03-12-2017 

Location of Recovery: Created by Dr. Scranton by accident when 
attempting to make an anomaly with the opposite effect. 

Current Status: In storage. 


Item Description: A metronome. When turned on by an individual, 
said individual will sway to the pendulum until it stops. Individuals 
who do so are unable to recall swaying to the metronome. 

Date of Recovery: 09-29-1985 

Location of Recovery: Venice, Italy 

Current Status: In high value storage of Site- 


Item Define: its a dainosar that meikes yu tak bad ater lookin at it, 
for 4 hours. 

day we pick-up: 12-25-2016 

place we pick-up: franse 

place it is nau: big space place 

Notes: "its rilly bathrin! i do no laik, pliz burn, bad for siensing." 
smartman guysson 


Item Description: A set of thirty-eight green balloons. When blown 
into, the subjects voice will become a noticeably deeper pitch for a 


length of time varying on the amount of air blown into one. 
Date of Recovery: 04-02-2017 

Location of Recovery: England 

Current Status: Low level item containment vault at Site-17. 


Item Description: The skeleton of an unknown species of the clade 
Dinosauria that dates back 160 million years. The specimen appears 
to be bipedal, with two large 3 meter feet on the end of 27 
centimeter legs, and a seemingly randomly curved spine. The 
subject's front limbs have been replaced with apparatuses that 
function similarly to M1911 handguns, entirely constructed from 
bone. The limbs only shoot shards of bone in the shape of 9mm 
handgun bullets, and will not shoot if supplied with any other type of 
bullet. 

Date of Recovery: 9-5-2008 

Location of Recovery: An undisclosed dig site in Kansas, USA. 
Current Status: In storage at Site-551's Archaeological Wing. 


Item Description: A self-refilling 3.8 liter "gallon jug" of milk, which if 
ingested causes the subject to vomit cheese after a period of 3 to 6 
hours, or if they go above 14 meters, and exclaim "| don't remember 
eating cheese!" 

Date of Recovery: 4/30/1986 

Location of Recovery: County Fair, Alabama, USA 

Current Status: In refrigerated storage at Site- 


Item Description: An adult Holstein Friesian cow. Any time 
anybody within earshot of this item says "interrupting cow", they will 
be interrupted by a loud vocal emission by the cow. 

Date of Recovery: 11/07/2004 

Location of Recovery: Kent, UK 

Current Status: Died of natural causes in August 2008 


Item Description: A 1935 record player that can only play music 
produced by Danny Goodman. 

Date of Recovery: 3/02/2001 

Location of Recovery: An antique shop within Florida. 

Current Status: In low-level storage. 


Item Description: A non-brand three inch by five inch rectangular 
picture frame with a black plastic exterior. Inside the picture frame is 


a stock photograph of a Caucasian female and male couple. When 
viewed directly by any person, they will claim that the person 
opposite of the viewer's sex was their romantic partner and will 
make derogatory comments towards the person. Subjects that have 
different sexual orientations than heterosexual are still affected. If 
viewed indirectly (i.e. on an electronic device, photograph or mirror) 
the photo has no anomalous properties. 

Date of Recovery: 12-05-1998 

Current Status: Snapped in half by Researcher after being 
under effect of the photograph. Pieces of the photo and frame still 
show anomalous properties. 

Notes: That [EXPLETIVE] had it coming to him.- Researcher 


Item Description: An unknown brand chemical toilet (colloquially 
known as a "Porta-potty"). Analysis of the materials used to 
construct the item reveals that the structure is approximately 165 
million years old. Multiple instances of petrified feces belonging to 
unknown species of the clade Dinosauria are found within the item's 
holding tank. 

Date of Recovery: 03-28-2017 

Location of Recovery: An undisclosed city in Montana, USA. 
Current Status: In storage. 


Item Description: A Spalding™ basketball that will not miss a shot 
into a net no matter said defiance of Isaac Newton's Law of Gravity. 
Date of Recovery: - - 

Location of Recovery: ; , USA 

Current Status: Stored in a storage locker at Site 17 for use by 
allowance from Site Director. 


Item Description: A classical sheet music book. Every hour for 10 
minutes, music can be heard from the book. Music has been 
recognized as Beethoven symphonies. 

Date of Recovery: 12-6-2008. 

Location of Recovery: Germany. 

Current Status: In Site-15 storage locker. 


Item Description: A bearded dragon that produces a miniature 
representation of the Aurora Borealis. 

Date of Recovery: - -2002 

Location of Recovery: , Colorado 


Current Status: In animal containment. 


Item Description: A head of iceberg lettuce that never rots. 
Date of Recovery: - -1999 

Location of Recovery: __, Japan 

Current Status: In storage 


Item Description: Printer ink cartridge that spontaneously extrudes 
seawater. 

Date of Recovery: 02/24/17 

Location of Recovery: Site- , Dr. Chris "Ox" Moran's Printer 
Current Status: In permanent storage. 


Item Description: A plastic toy magician's wand. When held by a 
human and moved at a speed greater than 5 m/s in any direction, 
item will emit green sparks from whichever end is not being held. 
Date of Recovery: 11-03-2016 

Location of Recovery: Bradford, England, United Kingdom 
Current Status: In storage 


Item Description: A fiftyfive-times folded piece of A4 paper which, 
when fully unfolded, reads the sentence "Humans don't poop twice a 
day". Upon viewing this, subjects perfectly fold the paper back the 
same way they unfoldeded it. The response varies from person to 
person, but most commonly they'll obsessively monitor the 
defecation patterns of themselves and everyone around them. Effect 
gradually wears off over a random number of months. 

Date of Recovery: 05/05/2001 

Location of Recovery: 17th Street, , China. 

Current Status: Site-50's low-security item storage. 


Item Description: A .5 m x 1m mirror which will show the back of 
its viewer. 

Date of Recovery: 06-07-2016 

Location of Recovery: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, United States 
Current Status: In storage 


Item Description: A standard sized brand chocolate powder 
container. Interior dimensions do not correspond to exterior 
dimensions, extending one meter past top. 

Date of Recovery: 02-15-2017 


Location of Recovery: Wilmington, Delaware, United States 
Current Status: In storage 

Notes: On recovery, object contained the amount of powder found in 
non-anomalous containers, twenty-seven American cents, three 
Euros, and a human thumb. 


Item Description: A sundial that reads the correct time regardless 
of orientation to the Sun. 

Date of Recovery: 03/12/2017 

Location of Recovery: Verona, Italy 

Current Status: Sitting on Dr. = 's desk 


Item Description: A paperback copy of the novel David Copperfield 
by Charles Dickens. Item emits a constant ticking sound despite no 
apparent mechanism of doing so. 

Date of Recovery: 01-05-2013 

Location of Recovery: Canberra, Australia 

Current Status: In storage 


Item Description: A bottle of Advil that is seemingly bottomless. It is 
also impossible to overdose on said pills. 

Date of Recovery: 01/06/2012 

Location of Recovery: In Dr. _—_'s drawers 

Current Status: In storage 

Notes: Item was found after Dr. _'s suicide attempt, which failed 
due to the items properties, Dr. was apprehended and is now put 
on suicide watch. 


Item Description: A generic pink "piggy bank" containing an 
endless amount of United States Quarter-Dollars. 

Location of Recovery: Fairbanks, Alaska 

Date of Recovery::1/22/12 

Current Status: In Storage 

Notice: Any Staff caught using this device to further their wealth will 
be severely reprimanded. -Dr. Garbers 


Item Description: A grapefruit weighing -100 kilograms. 

Date of Recovery: 4/10/2017. 

Location of Recovery: A supermarket in Baltimore, MD. 

Current Status: Consumed by Agent Joseph. Agent reprimanded. 
| lost weight after eating that thing! -Agent Joseph. 


Item Description: An article on popular encyclopedia website 

.org which contains a line of text describing |, SCP-426, in the 
third person. 
Date of Recovery: 30/1/2015 
Location of Recovery: Website .org 
Current Status: On website .org. Article edited to mislead 
readers into believing that the SCP Foundation is a fictional 
community of fantasy writers. 


Item Description: Approximately 30 m of copper wire. When 
connected to a power source, the current in the wire measures at a 
constant 50 amps, regardless of the voltage of the power source. 
Date of Recovery: 06-17-2014 

Location of Recovery: High School, Hamilton, Ontario, 
Canada 

Current Status: In storage at Site-15 


Item Description: A VHS tape that plays a random set of cartoons 
dating from 19 to 2017. Viewers describe different cartoons from 
other viewers present. Displays no footage when viewed from a 
camera. 

Date of Recovery: 05-24-2015 

Location of Recovery: —, New York 

Current Status: In storage at Site-19. 


Item Description: An indescribable statue. 
Date of Recovery: 

Location of Recovery: 

Current Status: 


Item Description: A Honda Civic, which contains a third heat 
setting on the seat warmer switch. If the seat warmer switch is 
"balanced" in the middle for at least 0.6 seconds, the exterior of the 
car radiates at approximately 2700 degrees Celsius. 

Date of recovery: 08-16-16 

Location of Recovery: , Missouri 

Current Status: In storage 

Note: This anomaly was brought to the attention of the foundation 
after the newspaper wrote a short story about a "Car 
that melted road blocking protesters alive in i. 


Item Description: A young Guatemalan female between the ages 
of and_ that has the lower body of a Thomson's gazelle. 

Date of Recovery: 10-12-2001 

Location of Recovery: Coban, Guatemala 

Current Status: Humanely terminated upon request. 


Item Description: A chair, 1.5 m tall and 0.9 m wide, which exists in 
only two dimensions. Item is invisible from any side besides the front 
and back. However, it is still possible to use item as a normal chair. 
Date of Recovery: 08-17-2010 

Location of Recovery: Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia 

Current Status: In storage 


Item Description: A cloth bag, similar to that of a seeing eye 
glasses holder. Object can hold any three(3) items, regardless of 
size. 

Date of Recovery: 12-12-2012 

Location of Recovery: Miami, Florida 

Current Status: Used by Agent during missions. 


Item Description: A piece of tape that repels any surface the 
"sticky" side approaches during attempted use. 

Date of Recovery: 03-02-2005 

Location of Recovery: Salt Lake City, Utah 

Current Status: In storage. 


Item Description: A wooden nutcracker in the shape of Joseph 
Stalin. It will only break nuts if someone who lived in the former East 
Germany uses it. 

Date of Recovery: 11-9-1989 

Location of Recovery: Berlin, Germany 

Current Status: In storage at Site- . 


Item Description: A standard-sized (92 x 57 x 203 mm) brick. One 
side of item (arbitrarily designated the top) constantly displays the 
1951 British-American film The African Queen, in its entirety and on 
endless loop. 

Date of Recovery: 4-27-2004 

Location of Recovery: Cape Town, South Africa 

Current Status: In storage 


Item Description: A strain of H3N2 influenza that causes dreams of 
stringed instruments in infected subjects. Dreams typically relate to 
the presence of microscopic instruments in the blood and lungs. 
Date of Recovery: - - 

Location of Recovery: ; : 

Current Status: Endemic to the region. Containment efforts 
are ongoing. 


Item Description: A standard -lb bowling ball. Anyone who uses it 
while bowling will invariably get a strike. 

Date of Recovery: 04/21/2017. 

Location of Recovery: bowling alley of , ,USA. 
Current Status: In storage. 


Item Description: An oversized analogue clock. Whenever the 
clock is recalled, the individual is reminded that it's time to stop. 
Date of Recovery: 26/04/2017. 

Location of Recovery: Household store in Brisbane, Australia. 
Current Status: In storage. 


Item Description: A navy blue -brand hoody. When used to 
clean the lenses of glasses, monocles, or other eyewear, the item 
removes approximately 99.9% of noticeable smudges, scratches, 
and microbial life. Subjects who use the item report their eyewear as 
being "crystal clear" immediately following use. 

Date of Recovery: - -2017 

Location of Recovery: , Virginia 

Current Status: Hung on a coat rack in the break room of Site- for 
general use. 


Item Description: A standard asthma inhaler containing a - 
brand aluminium container. Upon inhaling the contents of the 
inhaler, the users bronchioles seize up in a manner analogous to an 
asthma attack. These symptoms cease after approximately 5 
minutes. 

Date of Recovery: - -2009 

Location of Recovery: Hospital, Sydney 

Current Status: In storage.