* Asst. Director Schmidt: Performed a card trick. 

¢ Researcher Quarlo: Shotgunned a beer. 

¢ Dir. Aktus: Turned on a light switch. 


Addendum 3740.5: Feast Event Transcription 


Note: The following is an excerpt from the transcript of recorded 
audio taken from a weekly feast held by SCP-3740 within its 
containment cell with members of its research team. 


SCP-3740: -and there | was, standing alone on the 
battlefield, and over the river is Adam El Asem. He’s all 
worked up, see, because | was waving the goods at him, 
and- 


Researcher Kale: Goods? 
Agent Ivers: He means his dick. 
Agent Allen: His “God Rod’. 
(The whole room laughs) 


SCP-3740: That’s the one! So I’m waving the business 
at him, and he- hang on, Xenu, you want another drink? 
Who am | kidding, of course you do! Let me just get- 


(SCP-3740 manipulates the wind in the room to move 


Agent Allen's mug over to a cask and pour him another 
drink, returning the cup when finished. Agent Allen nods 
in approval.) 


SCP-3740: Anyway, he- he tries to throw the whole river 
at me! Can you believe that? After I'd offered him the 
courtesy of taking the high ground, he decides he wants 
to- to give me the ole one-two-dunk-a-roo! 


Dr. Vickers: The scoundrel! 
Researcher Kale: So what did you do? 


SCP-3740: Smacked him in the face with the God Rod, 
of course! 


(The room laughs again) 


Researcher Robinson: I’ve got one better. So one time 
| was hired to fight the Broken God on a field in 
Alagadda, and I’ve got the Spear of the Non-Believer in 
my right hand and the severed head of Jack Bright in my 
left- 


SCP-3740: Aha! A thrilling tale! Do go on! 

Agent Ivers: Ahhhhh don’t listen to him. He’s full of shit. 
SCP-3740: Spirits save you! What a calamitous turn of 
events. My friend Bonebreaker®, there are facilities just 


down the hall here- the finest in the entire realm, 
imported straight from the far off land of Kohler! 


Researcher Robinson: What? You mean the 
bathroom? Why? 


SCP-3740: You are full of shit, are you not? 
(The room laughs again.) 


Addendum 3740.6: 11/4/2017 Event Transcription 


Note: On 11/4/2017, another entity, called "Suen" by SCP-3740, 
appeared suddenly within SCP-3740's containment chamber. This 
entity, a muscular humanoid male wearing an armored chestplate 
and helm and carrying a spear, communicated briefly with 
containment personnel before disappearing. The following is a 
transcript of that exchange. 


SCP-3740: -so then | told him, what greater power could 
a god wield than that of spinning an orange ball on one 
finger? Truly unbelievable! 


(There is a loud cracking sound, and then the unknown 
humanoid entity appears.) 


Suen: Ashur? Come on, buddy, it's time to- wait. Hang 
on, what's going on here? 


SCP-3740: Ah, Suen! My friend! You've returned to the 
past as well? What a fortunate coincidence! | was just 
telling my friend Ulmar here about our misadventures in 
the old times! 


Suen: Ulmar? (Addresses Dr. Barrett) Who are you? 


Dr. Barrett: I- I'm Ulmar. The, uh, the Unbroken. Who 
are you? 


Suen: Ulmar? I've never heard of an Ulmar the 
Unbroken! Say, what sort of nonsense is going on here? 
Ashur, what is the meaning of this? 


SCP-3740: | already told you, graceful and delicate 
Suen, this is- 


Suen: Don't call me that. 


SCP-3740: -Ulmar the Unbroken! A powerful lord of this 
world, such as myself. Behold his magnificent power! 
(Nudges Dr. Barrett) Show him the breadth of your 
strength, Ulmar! 


(Dr. Barrett hesitantly draws his elbow to his mouth and 


licks it.) 


SCP-3740: (Gasps audibly) Revel in this majesty with 
me, Suen! See how his arm does not break free from the 
socket! Gaze upon the length of his tongue! The nations 
of the world should rightfully fear this man! 


(Suen does not appear impressed.) 


SCP-3740: As | was saying, Suen, it's excellent to see 
you again. My fine companion Ulmar here and the 
members of his pantheon have suitably stocked this 
royal chateau | now inhabit, all in the finest wares from 
across the countryside. It is a veritable fortress of luxury, 
my friend! 


Suen: What do you mean, "royal chateau"? Do you not 
realize that you are- (Pauses) ohhhh, | see what's going 
on here. You've got a sort of- yeah, okay, absolutely, this 
is great. (Sighs) What a relief. 


Dr. Barrett: What? What do you mean? 


Suen: (Takes Dr. Barrett aside) You would not believe 
how long we've been babysitting Ashur. The guy just 
cannot be helped. You know what | mean, obviously, but 
still. A handful, am | right? (Laughs) We even had this 
whole custody thing set up, where I'd take him for a few 
decades, and then Nergal would be after me but he's 
always busy with something, and that Nazarene wino 
with the fish obsession has been flaking for like two 
thousand years, but... either way, listen, you're doing me 
a huge favor here buddy. | can't tell you how much | 
appreciate it. 


Dr. Barrett: Hang on- what? Who are you again? 


Suen: Suen, God of the Moon. (Makes a dismissive 
gesture) But don't worry about any of that, just keep up 
the good work! If you need anything, call me! (Suen 
disappears without warning) 


Dr. Barrett: Wha- what? Hello? Did anyone else see 
that? 


SCP-3740: (Chuckling) Man, that Suen. Haven't seen 
him in a while. What a character though, huh? Can you 
believe that guy thinks he's a god? (Laughs) "God of the 
Moon". What does that even mean? 


Footnotes 

1. While originally it was believed that only higher-quality beers 
would serve to satisfy SCP-3740, the entity has shown no 
preference against more commercial brands and as such, these 
casks are to contain Miller High Life beer. 

2. During a particular feast held by SCP-3740, Researcher Quinn, 
who had previously been called “Carmet the Ecclesiastical", 
engaged in inebriated sparring with Dr. Barrett. After ten minutes of 
sustained combat with provided sabers, SCP-3740 proclaimed 
Researcher Quinn to be “Carmet the Likewise Unbroken”, and has 
referred to her as such ever since. 

3. In reference to SCP-3740’s defeat in a game of checkers by 
Researcher Marshall, resulting in a ten-day period of mourning by 
SCP-3740, followed by the entity proclaiming Researcher Marshall 
to be the “greatest champion of this green Earth.” 

4. Notably, while SCP-3740 thoroughly enjoys sparring and talks 
openly about his extensive career in warfare, he is a decidedly poor 
fighter, and guardians must be careful to not agitate him by besting 
him. 

5. Researcher Robinson. 


off-person custody in a locked safe-deposit box. 


Note: At least he's stopped that damn infernal clicking at all hours at 
his desk. Now if he would just stop crying. -Dr. Bright 


« SCP-484 | SCP-485 | SCP-486 » 


SCP-3743: Tank School: A School for Tanks! 


Item #: SCP-3743 
Object Class: Euclid 


Containment Procedures: The perimeter surrounding SCP-3743 is 
to be fenced off and no less than 3 Security personnel are to patrol 
the perimeter to prevent entry. Should SCP-3743-A to G attempt to 
breach containment then a task squad are to be dispatched 
immediately to retrieve it. 


Description: SCP-3743 is a school located in a small town in 
Southern Japan. SCP-3743 resembles a typical Japanese school, 
which has been modified to contain extra wide corridors and doors, 
a barracks and a shooting range. The sign at the front gates of 
SCP-3743 reads 'Tank School: A School for Tanks’. Residing within 
SCP-3743 are 7 tanks of varying makes designated SCP-3743-A to 
G. 

SCP-3743-A to G appear to go through a typical school day, 
attending classes, having lunch in the cafeteria, and returning to the 
barracks at night. The objects are able to maneuver without the 
need of a driver and are fully capable of human speech, despite lack 
of an oral cavity and vocal chords needed to do so. The objects are 
not hostile and enjoy conversing with members of staff and each 
appear to have their own distinct personalities. 


SCP Model Description 

SCP-3743-A M4 Sherman Speaks with a thick 
American accent. Is 
often observed being 
late to lessons or not 
going at all. Has been 
shown to start food 
fights in the cafeteria 

SCP-3743-B Panzer IV Speaks with a 
German accent. Often 


SCP-3743-C 


SCP-3743-D 


SCP-3743-E 


SCP-3743-F 


SCP-3743-G 


CHAR B1 


T-34 


TOG Il 


Chi-Nu 


IS-2 


attempts to converse 
with the guards and is 
the first to volunteer to 
be interviewed 
Speaks with a French 
accent. Has attempted 
to flirt with male site 
staff on numerous 
occasions. Site staff 
have been informed to 
resist all advances 
Speaks with a thick 
Russian accent. Is 
reportedly the sister of 
SCP-37483-G. Is 
generally dismissive 
towards site staff and 
actively resists being 
interviewed 

Speaks with in a posh 
British accent. Acts as 
the school teacher 
and is the most 
informed about how 
SCP-3743 originated 
Speaks with a 
Japanese accent. Is 
the most talented 
‘student’ according to 
SCP-37483-E and is 
often seen alone 
practising at the 
shooting range 
Speaks with a 
Russian accent. Is the 
sister of SCP-3743-D. 
Does not attend 
classes and is avoided 
and feared by the 
other specimens. Is to 


be kept under strict 
observation since 
Incident-3743-G 


Interview Logs: 
Interviewed: SCP-3743-E 
Interviewer: Researcher Barker 
<Begin Log> 
Barker: Good Evening SCP-3743. 


SCP-3743-E: Oh, | would much prefer if you called me 
TOG II. That is the name her majesty the queen gave me 
herself you know. 


Barker: Very well. So TOG II, what can you tell me 
about this ‘tank school’ of yours. 


SCP-3743-E: Well, after the war there wasn't much work 
for many of us surviving tanks you know. Especially with 
those new fancy models they have these days. | 
consider myself lucky | wasn't one of the ones who got 
melted down to use as scrap metal. It was perfectly 
horrid!! Luckily he found me and brought us here or God 
forbid | might have been shut up in one of those 
museums! 


Barker: Who do you mean by 'he'? 


SCP-3743-E: Ah... he was such a kind fellow. Its all 
thanks to him that we can move on our own and talk. 
After he found he brought me here and that's when | met 
those darling girls. 


Barker So you remember what it was like before he 
changed you? 


SCP-3743-E: As if it was yesterday dear. Oh | may be 
old now but | would give anything to see combat again. If 


only you humans hadn't signed that peace treaty of 
yours. 


Barker: So, where is he now? 


SCP-3743-E: It pains me to say it but he departed us 
many decades ago. | fear he may have moved on toa 
better place since then, he was getting on in years you 
know. 


Barker: Indeed. So what can you tell me about the 
others? 


SCP-3743-E Oh my darling girls! | do love them so. So 
sweet. So innocent. Most of them only came in at the 
end of the war. Oh we all get along so well at our school. 
Well... except... 


Barker: Except...? 


SCP-3743-E: Oh my poor dear sweet IS-2. Why did she 
have to witness such a devastating loss?They say over 
4000 Russian tanks were destroyed in the Battle of 
Stalingrad. | fear the poor girl will never be the same 
again. 


Barker: Hm... interesting. Well thank you SCP-3743-E. 
You have been very helpful today. 


SCP-3743-E: Oh it was my pleasure, my dear. Do drop 
by for a visit again soon. The girls do ever so love 
visitors. 


Incident report: Incident-SCP-3743-G 
Interviewed: SCP-3743-G 
Interviewer: Researcher Barker 
<Begin Log> 
Barker: Hello SCP-3743-G 


[SCP-3743-G begins to giggle to itself quietly] 


Barker: SCP-3748-E tells me you have been having a 
bit of trouble at school recently. Is there anything you 
would like to talk about? 


SCP-3743-G: Oh. Hello! You want to talk to me? The 
other girls at school never want to talk to me. 


Barker: Do you know why that is? 


SCP-3743-G: They all think I'm crazy. Do you think I'm 
crazy? 


Barker: Of course not. 


SCP-3743-G: You should do [SCP-3743-G begins 
giggling louder this time] 


Barker: And why is that? 
SCP-3743-G: Can | tell you a little secret? 
Barker: Go on. 


SCP-3743-G: | want to kill you. Tee Hee! | want to slowly 
cut you open and hear you squeal like the cowardly little 


piggy you are. 


Barker: Excuse me...? 


SCP-3743-G: Is it fun for you? Hm? Is it fun when you 
drive us around in your little games and make us kill 
each other? WAS IT FUN WHEN YOU BLEW UP MY 
FRIENDS IN FRONT OF ME?! DID YOU LAUGH 
ABOUT IT?! | HOPE YOU LAUGHED SO HARD IT 
HURT! [SCP-3743-G'S 3 engine begins to rev loudly and 
attempts to break its restraints] 


Barker: This interview is over. Guards, please return 
SCP-3743-G to its site. 


SCP-3743-G: Oh, don't think you're getting away that 
easy. [A grenade is dropped out a side compartment on 
SCP-3743-G] 


Barker What the?! How did it? Gua-! [The grenade 
explodes killing Researcher Barker and the two attending 
guards] 


SCP-3743-G manages to break its restraints and breach 
containment. Due to lack of ammunition it is quickly 
recaptured. Staff are advised to avoid unnecessary 
contact with SCP-3743-G and all live weaponry within 
SCP-3743-G is to be seized immediately. 


SCP-3747: Death by Vacuum 


SCP-3750: A White Fish 


Item #: SCP-3750 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: When not in use, SCP-3750 is 
to be stored in a standard safe-class deposit locker in Site-77. 
SCP-3750 is not to come in contact with systems or simulations 
which involve sensitive data, such as predictive algorithms, training 
simulations and games, as well as systems in which civilians could 
be considered actors. 


Description: SCP-3750 is a standard Staunton-style white king 
chess piece composed of stained pine. Historical and scientific 
estimates suggest SCP-3750 was created in late 19th-century 
Britain, although no particular style or make has been found which 
matches the entity. 


SCP-3750's anomalous properties manifest when it is used as a 
component in a board game. The player in possession of SCP-3750 
will telepathically receive suggestions for moves and tactics along 
with commentary on the board state and other miscellaneous 
observations. SCP-3750 seems to have perfect knowledge of the 
"game state", but otherwise cannot perceive things near or around it, 
including, but not limited to, sounds, images and the condition and 
surroundings of SCP-3750. 


Regardless of the player, SCP-3750 "speaks" in English and with a 
voice commonly described as "East Coast American". SCP-3750's 
suggestions have shown no cognitohazardous or compulsive 
properties in testing, and players are under no obligation to follow its 
suggestions. 


SCP-3750 was recovered from a chess tournament on July 21, 1984 
in Reykjavik, Iceland after numerous players on the white side of 
table seven complained to tournament officials about a "useless 


kibitzer". Foundation officials recovered the anomaly and falsified an 
incident to redirect blame to a player. 


Attached below is a game played between junior researcher Joselyn 
Tal and SCP-3750. 


+ 3750 _4.pgn 


[Event "Foundation Internal Research"] 
[Site "Site-77, L'Aquilla, ITA"] 

[Date "2011.05.04"] 

[Round "4"] 

[White "SCP-3750 (via D-3750-1)"] 
[Black "Junior Researcher Joselyn Tal"] 
[Result "0 - 1"] 

[WhiteElo "Unrated"] 

[BlackElo "2083"] 


{D-3750-1 was instructed to follow SCP-3750's 
suggestions as closely as possible and 
transcribe its communications.} 


1.e4 e5 2. Ke2 Nf6 

{SCP-3750: "Get me in there, boss. Let me 
show those fucking stupid-ass pawns what a 
real king can do.} 

3. Kd3 Nc6 4. c4 Nxe4 

{SCP-3750: "I fucking hate knights. They jump 
around like overstimulated rabbits."} 

5. Kxe4 d5+ 6. cxd5 Qh4+ 

{SCP-3750: "This bitch thinks she can just 
boss me around however she likes?"} 

7. 94 Bxg4 8. Qxg4 Qxg4+ 

{SCP-3750: "Whatever. Not like | loved her 
anyways."} 

9. Kd3 Qd4+ 10. Kc2 Nb4+