Date: 26/01/2015 
Incident Report: Several men were seen walking down 
street (a street in the ). Men had left a local pub 
shortly before appearing to be heavily intoxicated. Two 
instances of SCP-2261-1 arrive and reportedly attempt to 
arrest the men for ‘driving under the influence’. After 
several minutes of arguing with the instances of 
SCP-2261-1, one of the men shoves at the air in front of 
him supposedly in an attempt to attack an instance of 
SCP-2261-1A. Several seconds pass before the other 
men manage to restrain him, the sound of car doors 
closing and a disgruntled voice originating from an 
instance of SCP-2261-1 can be heard claiming 'He's 
shoving me! He's fucking shoving me! This just got too 
real too fast, get the hell out of here!’. Both instances 
then fled the scene. 


Footnotes 
1. Video footage is not affected by SCP-2261. Instances will appear 
as human. 


« SCP-2260 | SCP-2261 | SCP-2262 » 


SCP-2262: The Maddening Font 


Item #: SCP-2262 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2262 is stored ina 
standard storage locker at Site-73. Any access to SCP-2262 will 
only be approved following submission of stated research aims, and 
all researchers must complete Questionnaire SCP-2262-A and 
score less than 25% beforehand. Any anomalous behaviour will 
result in psychological evaluation or administration of amnestics, at 
the approving staff member’s discretion. The attached photo may be 
observed freely, as no cognitohazardous or related effects have 
been reported or observed from viewing of the image. 


Description: SCP-2262 is a small torn piece of paper, measuring 
29mm x 20mm. Object was torn from the lower right-hand corner of 
astandard — -brand notepad, and has been written on with black 
ink. The only mark is an upper-case ‘B’. Testing indicated nothing 
anomalous in the composition or layout of the paper, and the ink has 
been confirmed as originating from a standard -brand ballpoint pen. 
Experiment SCP-2262-02 has confirmed no anomalous effects in 
the paper itself. 


Object was recovered from the desk of , a 27-year-old 
typesetter and occasional comic book artist from , Germany. 


SCP-2262’s cognitohazardous properties will be activated when any 
individual who has any interest, latent or recognized, in typesetting, 
design, comic books, or indeed any high level of aesthetic 
appreciation of typefaces or composition, looks at the item. Upon 
looking, the individual will become increasingly irritated and 
fascinated by the letter, displaying escalating hostility towards it and 
its aesthetic shortcomings, real or imagined. These feelings of 
hostility seem to be dependent largely on the individual’s preferred 
artistic or aesthetic training or inclinations, and focus on whatever 


After Incident K-259-1, 41 copies of a CD capable of generating 
SCP-259 were confiscated from .com, and a public warning 
issued that the CD, labeled “100 Fun Fractals You Can Print,” 
contains a malicious virus that will destroy the user’s computer. 

.com Claimed to have obtained the disks from a reseller's 
bankruptcy sale, and the Foundation was unable to trace the original 
producer. Whether SCP-259 was released accidentally, or 
distributed with knowledge of its anomalous properties, is under 
investigation. 


Incident K-259-2 makes it clear that SCP-259 is being used with 
malicious intent. The Foundation is working with global anti-terrorism 
forces to retrieve SCP-259 from the organization responsible for this 
incident. 


Addendum: 


Incident K-259-1 — A residence hall at University was 
destroyed by explosion/fire on //20 . Authorities were mystified that 
conditions at the center of the incident resembled the detonation of a 
small fusion-based device. Graduate student was 
completely vaporized, as were others, including several who left 
shadows imprinted on the nearest standing walls. Questioning of 
survivors indicated that had gone to his room with a CD he had 
recently ordered from .com “to play with some fractals”, leading 
to the eventual discovery of a program capable of rendering 
SCP-259 for sale on the site. 


Incident K-259-2 — / /201 : Image of SCP-259, approximately 10 m 
x 10 min size, appears on Diamond Vision screen during soccer 
game at Stadium, outside : . Approximately 60,000 
people in attendance. Survivors report a large circular anomaly 
appeared in front of the image, and venomous cockroaches "poured 
out" from it, attacking anyone they could reach. Approximately 
casualties. Considered a self-containing incident as the insects are 
unable to survive for more than two hours in Earth's atmosphere. 


The cockroaches average 2 kg in weight, and correspond to no 
known terrestrial species; several live specimens were collected by 
Foundation MTFs and classified as SCP-__. They are currently held 
at Site- in a 35% oxygen environment. The organization 


aspect of the letter the individual has most knowledge of; observed 
focuses of hostility including the font’s appearance, colour, spacing, 
‘balance’, and the relatively low score of the letter ‘B’ in Scrabble 
given its difficulty in attaching to words. 


Incident SCP-2262-1 

Subject has been described as a model worker, and 
recovered personal documents, tax returns etc. bear this 
out. For several weeks prior to Incident SCP-2262-1, 
however, the subject had been publicly and with 
increasing regularity complaining of professional 
stagnation, and speaking of a desire to ensure his 
reputation with the creation of “something profound’. 
This deepening obsession had manifested alongside a 
general disinclination to any usual work; subject had 
missed multiple deadlines, turning up late, with lax 
personal hygiene, and displaying insubordination and 
even violence to management when asked to focus on 
anything except this project. Numerous disciplinary 
procedures were in place at the time of Incident 
SCP-2262-1. 


One arrived at his desk early, neatly 
dressed, and sat down in silence to work. From 07:44 
until 14:08 (confirmed by CCTV & computer records), 
subject was noncommunicative except when directly 
addressed by the office manager or co-workers. 
Throughout this time, subject cleared the personal items 
from his desk into a small cardboard box, took out a 
notebook and pen, and began to write individual letters, 
tearing out and screwing up the pieces of paper. At 
14:08, subject opened a document on his work computer 
and briefly typed a note (though the computer was 
shortly thereafter destroyed, witnesses agreed that it 
read “Here you go, you bastards. You want profound? 
You want perfect? Take a look at this”); he then stood 
up, loudly announcing to the office at large they should 
see what he had made, then lay down silently beneath 
his desk and made no further movement or sound. 


Accounts of what happen next differ in superficial 
aspects; what is agreed upon, however, is that as each 
staff member came into visual contact with SCP-2262, 
they began to experience varied manifestations of the 
cognitohazardous effect. Over the next 2 minutes, 
exhibited behaviour escalated from expressions of 
irritation and disgust, through raised voices and 
demands for explanation, to physical violence expressed 
upon the surrounding furniture and others. The group 
then turned on , demanding an explanation; when 
none was forthcoming, the workers grabbed the subject 
en masse and dragged him in differing directions, 
eventually dislocating joints and mutilating limbs, leaving 
the subject deceased. During this time, another worker in 
an adjoining office called the police, who arrived 7 
minutes later, arresting the staff and inadvertently de- 
escalating the situation when a riot shield was placed on 
the table, covering the piece of paper. 


Addendum: Transcript of on-site interview between Researcher 
and , former work colleague and friend (presented here in 
translation from original German) 


Researcher: So, Herr , how are you feeling? 


: How do you think I’m feeling? That was fucking crazy, man! Are 
you from the police? 


Researcher: No, we're here to piece together what happened. 
We're- 


: (interrupting) I'll tell you what happened! It’s that fucking B! 
That mad bastard did it, | don’t know how he did it, but that B! 


Researcher: (withdrawing SCP-2262 from his pocket, in mylar bag) 
This letter, you mean? What's the problem with it? 


: (becoming frantic) Jesus, what’s the matter with you?! Get it 
away, you Sadist! What’s the problem?! What’s NOT the problem? 
Shit, the kerning, the composition, the little blobby thing at the 
bottom — what the FUCK is that blob doing there?! Why is it 


leaning?! And is it on the line, is it beneath, what?! 


Researcher: Please, Herr , calm down, and start from the 
beginning. 


: Okay, just...keep that monstrosity away from me, okay? So 

came in this morning; he was smart, he'd shaved, looked like 
my friend again, you know? But he wasn’t talking or anything. Still, 
that's fair, | thought, job’s hanging in the balance, leave him to it. 
He sat down and started scribbling. Just scribbling, over and over 
and then tearing off these little pieces. | look over, and every piece 
of paper he’s ripping off, he’s eating them! Just eating little bits of 
paper all day... 


Researcher: | see. And what happened next? 


: [haltingly] Well, he suddenly stopped and said “Hey, you 
people, come and look at what I’ve made!” By the time we got there, 
he was lying down, and on the desk was that letter. 

That little bit of paper. It didn’t even make sense at first, like none of 
us could process what we were seeing for a few seconds. Every 
single bit of it was just so wrong. Everything. It was so ugly, we 
couldn't believe it. And, um, | guess we all got pretty mad about it. 
We were trying to figure it out, and | think someone started pushing, 
and then we... 


At this point, abruptly bursts into tears, and his speech becomes 
incoherent apart from what were believed to be mumbled apologies 
and demands for explanation. Following this interview, amnesiacs 
are administered to both workers and police, and a cover story 
involving a workplace suicide is put into place. No media attention 
has been garnered at this time. 


« SCP-2261 | SCP-2262 | SCP-2263 » 


SCP-2263: The Skeleton Gallery 


Item #: SCP-2263 
Object Class: Safe 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2263 is to be kept in 
standard safe object storage at Site-63 with the exception of 
SCP-2263-34, which is to be kept in highly explosive materials 
storage and SCP-2263-62, which is to be kept in radioactive 
materials storage. Due to potential as of yet undiscovered dangers, 
no experimentation is to be done on any instance of SCP-2263 
without express permission from Site-63 administration. 


Description: SCP-2263 is comprised of 62 anatomically accurate, 
identical sculptures of a human skeleton, all of which are made out 
of anomalous materials. Each skeleton measures 190 cm tall, and 
has a mass of 11 kg, regardless of composition. Each skeleton is 
held together with silver wire, and mounted on a 5 cm thick lithium 
carbide disk, with a radius of 0.3 meters. Every instance of 
SCP-2263 has a descriptive tag affixed to its third left rib. Each tag 
is written in Dutch, with the same handwriting. Below are a selection 
of individual instances of SCP-2263, with a translation of their 
respective tags. 


item Numbei ~Compositior Text on Tag Notes 
SCP-2263-1 Non-Melting ice managed to Sculpture retains 
keep it chilled | average 

temperature of 
-33.4 degrees 
celsius and 
should only be 
handled when 
wearing 
thermally 
insulated 
clothing 


SCP-2263-2 


SCP-2263-3 


SCP-2263-7 


SCP-2263-18 


Brass (37% zinc, delay is a bit off, Temperature of 
61% copper, 2% do not touch 


other 
contaminants) 


Purple 
polypropylene 


Unknown, 
believed to be 
dark matter 


Unknown, best 
described as 
"the color blue’ 


keep out of the 
way 


object fluctuates 
rapidly between 
-270 and 60,000 
degrees celsius, 
but temperature 
only extends to a 
range of 5cm 
Object blinks in 
and out of 
existence at an 
interval of 
approximately 
57 seconds 


very easy to loseObject appears 


not quite sure 
how | got this 
one to work, but 
glad it came out 
well 


black, and does 
not emit or 
reflect any 
variety of 
electromagnetic 
radiation. Item 
determined to 
havea 
temperature of 
0 K, but does not 
feel cold to the 
touch 

Object appears 
as a blue, two 
dimensional 
image ofa 
skeleton 
matching the 
dimensions of 
other sculptures, 
which appears 
as the same 
image 
regardless of 
angle it is 


SCP-2263-20 


SCP-2263-22 


SCP-2263-25 


SCP-2263-27 


Technetium 


SCP-148 


[REDACTED] 


Graphene 


Keep bolted 
down 


This one is 
giving me 
headaches 


Honestly | am 
not sure how | 
did this one, 
keep a mule in 
the vicinity 

My personal 


viewed at. 
SCP-2263-18 
itself is 
intangible, but it 
is "constructed" 
on a stone 
platform, which 
exhibits no 
anomalous 
properties. 
Object does not 
emit radiation as 
would be 
expected of 
technetium, and 
shows no signs 
of atomic decay. 
Object is 
continuously 
pulled westward 
via an unknown 
force at exactly 
2.23 kilometers 
per hour, can be 
easily stopped 
by any solid 
barrier 

Aside from the 
usual effects of 
telekill alloy, 
object hovers 
between 0.3 and 
0.8 meters off 
the ground 
[REDACTED] 


emits anomalous 


SCP-2263-30 


SCP-2263-32 


Aerogel 


An organic 
chitinous 
material that 
most closely 


resembles ant 


exoskeleton 


Narwhal Ivory 


favourite 


Keep away from 


open flame 


This one was 
probably a 
mistake. 
Probably 


odors at an 
intensity most 
commonly 
described as 
“pleasant”. 
Notable odors 
include Jasmine, 
Agarwood, 
Amber, Fresh 
Apples, and 
Cooking Meat 
Converts Carbon 
Dioxide, Carbon 
monoxide, 
Nitrogen gas, 
Argon gas, 
Methane, and 
Water Vapor into 
breathable 
Oxygen, without 
producing any 
excess waste 
matter or 
consuming or 
emitting any 
energy. Note: 
SCP-2263-30 
has been 
approved for 
testing by the 
materials 
research and 
synthesis 
division 

Creates a rim- 
shot sound at 
the end of every 
sentence spoken 
within 7 meters 
of its skull. When 


SCP-2263-34 


SCP-2263-51 


SCP-2263-55 


Antimatter 


Pine wood 


Glass 


about three 
years until anti: 
annihilation field 
stops working 


careful not to 
knock this one 
into the sky, 
wont get it back 


turned it inside 
out, that did it 


“told” an actual 
joke, rim-shot is 
accompanied by 
a laugh track 
matched to an 
episode of the 
television 
program 
Hogan's Heroes 
Object seems to 
be made of 
antimatter 
equivalent of 
human bone, 
and should be 
kept in isolated 
underground 
storage until at 
least 10/17/20 
Object is not 
affected by 
gravity, but will 
remain in place, 
relative to the 
earth, wherever 
it is placed in 
three 
dimensional 
space 

Object appears 
to posses a 
"negative 
volume" (i.e. 
when object is 
submerged ina 
tank of water, 
the water level 
will drop, but the 
object will not 
take on water) 


SCP-2263-60 


SCP-2263-62 


Rose quartz 
crystal 


Plutonium 


a little mixed 
media project 


Be careful with 
this one Jacob! 


When struck, 
each bone of 
SCP-2263-60 
will emit a 
distinct musical 
tone. Bones in 
the arms make 
sounds 
corresponding 
with woodwinds, 
the legs 
correspond with 
brass 
instruments, the 
ribs correspond 
to a xylophone, 
bones in the 
spine and skull 
correspond to 
drums, and the 
pelvic bone 
creates a low, 
unidentified, 
prolonged 
sound, the 
closest match for 
which is a 
didgeridoo 
Object emits 
normal radiation 
given off by 
plutonium, but 
only at a range 
of 3 cm off of its 
surface. Object 
also emits a high 
pitched ringing 
noise and 
occasionally will 
begin rotating at 


approximately 
30000 rpm for 
exactly 15 
seconds