The game map, Echoes of the Mariana, had all 
three teams start with their players on the 
edge of a high cliff next to a raging ocean, with 
a storm overhead. As the game began, Dr. 
Davis was suddenly stricken with blindness, 
and stumbled backwards over the edge of the 
cliff. Dr. LaFleur’s first draw was a Yellow Card 
called “Business Expenses” which granted he 
and Director Camp $50. Additionally, while 
Director Camp had been stricken with a pox on 
the opening of the game, one of Dr. LaFleur’s 
pre-game draws was a White Card called 
“Panacea” which was used to heal Director 
Camp’s pox. 


After Dr. Bone’s draw, Dr. Harris began to 
move towards a small concrete structure when 
she was accosted by three incorporeal, 
humanoid entities, which were revealed to be 
a Supreme Divine entity called “The Three 
Brothers”. With no proper equipment to protect 
herself and no cards available for Dr. Bone to 
use in defense his piece, Dr. Harris was swiftly 
killed by the entity. Immediately upon her 
death, the game ended and Dr. LaFleur and 
Director Camp were pronounced “MR. 
SURVIVOR’. 


Notable Cards Drawn: 


Card Color: Orange 
Card Title: The Three Brothers 
Subtitle: Love to Gamble 


Type: Anomaly, Sentient, Divine 


Description: Three cursed siblings who were 
bound by Fate to ferry the souls of the 
departed towards the dark nothingness 
beyond life. Picked up a penchant for card 
games somewhere along the way. 


Stats: 29 ATK / 34 DEF / 37 HP 
Audio Recording Transcript Excerpts 
[BEGIN LOG] 


Dr. Mars: Alrighty then, let’s kick this bad boy 
off. I'll draw first... and the game is afoot! 


Dr. Davis: Oh my god! Oh my god! | can’t see! 
I’m blind, | can’t see! 


Dr. Mars: Wh— Cotter? Oh no, Cotter, hang 
on, | can... I’ve got... uh... oh no. 


Dr. Davis: Owen? Owen, help me! | can’t, | 
can't— (screams as he falls off a cliff) 


Dr. Mars: Cotter? Cotter! Oh goddammit, 
Cotter. 


Silence throughout the group. 
Dr. LaFleur: So... good first turn. 


Dr. Mars: |... Jesus. Does it hurt? Like, | 
haven't played before, does it hurt them? 


Dr. Bone: Pretty tremendously at the time, but 
they don’t seem to remember the pain 
afterwards, so... notin the long term, no. Still 
though, it’s rough to hear. 


Dr. Mars: Yeah, |... Jesus. 


Dr. LaFleur: Either way, my turn. How you 


doing down there, boss? 


Director Camp: (/ncoherant screaming) My 
skin! Oh god my skin! It’s a pox! 


Dr. LaFleur: Woof. Really rough first round. 
Good thing is, | drew this... “Panacea”, so I’m 
going to play that... and we should be good! 
How about now? 


Director Camp: Huh. Yeah, | feel much better. 
That was pretty horrid, I’m not going to lie. 
Where to next? 


Dr. LaFleur: Well... my options seem to be 
limited here. I’m thinking something like... nah, 
let’s save that. (Pauses) Alright, let’s just do 
this. (Cash register sound is heard above Dr. 
LaFleur) 


Director Camp: Nice. 
Dr. LaFleur: You're damn right. 


Dr. Bone: Alright, time to stop messing 
around. Let’s get serious. You ready to make 
this thing happen, Eila? 


Dr. Harris: Hell yeah, Avery. Let’s do this. 


Dr. Bone: Excellent. We're a little short on 
items at the moment, so let’s just... go check 
out this building over here. 


Dr. Harris: On it. (Sounds of running) Whoa 
there. There’s something in the road. What is 
it? 

Dr. Mars: Huh. Orange card. What is it? 


Dr. Bone: It’s... uh... called “The Three 
Brothers’... it’s a Divine thing. 


Dr. Harris: What's it do? 


Incorporeal Humanoid Entities: Nothing 
good. 


Dr. Harris: Wha- oh god I’m dying! Avery! 
Help— 


Dr. Bone: What? What just happened? 
Dr. LaFleur: | think you just lost. 


Victory music sounds and fireworks are heard 
above the players. 


Director Camp: Oh shit, did we win? Is it 
over? 


Dr. Bone: Ok, so... Apollyon mode sucks. 


Dr. LaFleur: Speak for yourself. I’ve got fifty 
bucks waiting for me. 


[END LOG] 


+ Open Log 3301|012 
Log ID: 3301|012 


Participants: Director Liam Deets and Sgt. 
Hannah Washington of MTF Omega-12, Agent 
Andrea Adams and Spe. Iris Thompson of 
MTF Alpha-9, Agent Sasha Merlo and Agent 
Clarissa Shaw of MTF Gamma-13, and Sgt. 
Irantu and Spc. Nanku of MTF Tau-5. 


Game Board: Anantashesha's Domain 
Winner: Sgt. lrantu and Spc. Nanku 


Victory Condition: Mr. Finder 


Difficulty Setting: Euclid 
Runtime: Oh 45m 12 seconds 
Payout: $602 


Game Summary: The game took place ina 
heavily stylized replica of the SCPF Eremita. 
On the first turn, Sgt. Washington used her 
reality altering abilities to materialize a 
modified Colt AR-15, which she then fired at 
Spc. Nanku. Sgt. Washington was promptly 
admonished for apparent rule breaking and 
terminated by what appeared to be a giant 
flaming angel's sword. Spc. Nanku, despite 
sustaining multiple gunshots, was relatively 
unphased. 


The game then proceeded normally until turn 
14, when Agent Shaw discovered the hidden 
golden anomaly but was temporarily paralyzed 
by a cognitohazard that was protecting it. Spc. 
Thompson then proceeded to acquire the 
anomaly. 


Before Spc. Thompson succeeded at 
containing the anomaly, Agent Shaw 
recovered enough to use her red card "The 
Nerfing Gun" to transform Spc. Thompson into 
an Orangutan. Spc. Nanku, who until that point 
had been occupied in a fistfight with a sepia- 
toned humanoid that self identified as "Murphy 
Law," then arrived and was able to contain the 
anomaly, and thus winning the game. 


Notable Cards Drawn: 


Card Color: Red 
Card Title: The Nerfing Gun 


Subtitle: A low effort pun 
Type: Weapon, Ranged 


Description: A fancy Nerf gun that makes 
everything worse. Excels at ethically 
questionable humanoid transfiguration. 
Expires after one use. 


Stats: Transfiguration Attack / - 10 ACC 
Audio Recording Transcript Excerpts 
[BEGIN LOG] 


Director Deets: Alright Hannah, just like we 
planned. We'll show them who the real 
anomalous task force is. 


Sgt. Washington: Yes sir. Alright nuts and 
bolts, let's see how you like hot iron! 


Sgt. Washington: What do you mean reality 
bending is cheating, that wasn't in the rules! 
You have got be fucking kidding m— 


Spc. Nanku: ...Is this how all board games 
are supposed to start? 


Sgt. Irantu: That was rude. 


Director Deets: Um, sorry. Why do they have 
you two playing this anyway? 


Sgt. Irantu: I've been told it is a part of our 
emotional development training. The captain 
thought it was a good idea since the first time 
any of us felt emotion was during a game of 
Monopoly. Having extreme rage as a 
reference point is very helpful in understanding 
others. 


Agent Shaw: The Nerfing Gun huh? | 
remember this one. About time those idiots 
help me instead of being a pain. 


Agent Shaw: Aha, here it is. | wonder why it 
would be on a nightstand of all things? Eh, 
who Ca- 


Agent Merlo: YES, CLARISSA! Wooohooo! 
Fuck you Adams, my agent found the anomaly 
first! Wait, Clarissa? Clarissa! GET UP! 


Agent Adams: Why am | here? | don't even 
like boardgames. 


Spc. Thompson: Yes, | got it! Oh wow this is 
amazing. Andrea, did | ever tell you Jumanji 
was my favorite movie as a kid, this is like a 
dream come- OOH AAH 


Agent Shaw: What's the matter Thompson, 
you're just monkeying around? Oh god that 
was a bad pun, stupid gun must be rubbing off 
on me. 


Spc. Nanku: So, do | win? 


Victory music sounds are heard. Sound is 
distorted due to surrounding water. 


Spc. Nanku: A-hem, I'd just like to say that 
you don't miss all the shots you don't take. 
This an inspiring victory quote that | read. 
What is inspiring exactly? 


Director Deets: Well... that was almost right. 


[END LOG] 


+ Open Log 3301|017 
Log ID: 3301|017 


Participants: Agent Dumas and Agent 
Tucker, Doctor Perkins and Agent Steele, 
Researcher Patel and Special-Detainee 
Justice Locke, Researcher Dumas and D-101 
(awarded game time for good behavior). 


Game Board: 20,000 Leagues under the Red 
Sea 


Winner: Agent Dumas, Agent Tucker 
Victory Condition: MR. GENOCIDE 
Difficulty Setting: Maksur 

Runtime: 4h 28m 14s 

Payout: $100,000,000 


Game Summary: Each player received a 
gunshot wound upon the game's opening: 
Agent Tucker was shot in the toe, Agent 
Steele was shot in the elbow, S.D. Locke was 
shot in the face yet survived, D-101 reported 
feeling something rush through his hair just 
above his scalp. 


The players began in a sparsely-wooded 
locale illuminated by a bright, red sun; and 
were situated on different banks of a large, red 
lake. Each team was able to equip themselves 
with a variety of weapons due to R. Dumas 
playing a White card titled "Global Occult 
Coincidence", which replaced each player's 
hand with 10 Red cards. 


Players spent the next several rounds 
destroying anomalies, having brokered a 


"truce" spearheaded by Researcher Patel - 
who coerced his opponents into aiming for the 
MR. COALITION win-condition. By the third 
hour, Dr. Perkins and Agent Steele had the 
lead, at 21 anomalies destroyed. Agent Dumas 
then drew a companion card, "The Night 
Hauler", which allowed Agent Tucker to move 
about the game area unrestricted by die-rolls. 


At the behest of Agent Dumas, who had earlier 
uncovered a clue as to the whereabouts of the 
game's hidden card; Agent Tucker quickly 
moved across the playing field, exploring every 
space contained within the game board. The 
team conspired to find the object, and thereby 
achieve the MR. FINDER win-condition. Said 
item ("Murphy's Trademarked Trilby") was 
found in the north-eastern portion of the map, 
guarded by a supreme divine being ("Celestial 
Cicada"). Agent Tucker was able to abscond 
with the hidden item due to his speed-boost, 
and avoid the entity altogether. Their turn 
ended as Agent Tucker took a shortcut over 
the red lake, attempting to reach their 
containment facility. The companion vehicle 
and the hidden item fell into the lake's center. 


Dumas and Tucker's turn revealed over three 
dozen Orange cards, four of which were 
divine-class or higher. The players regrouped 
near the Southern wall of the map, joined by 
Agent Tucker on his team's next turn, and 
fended off attacks with their remaining cards. 
Their efforts were assisted by R. Patel's 
companion card "The Rookie", which 
destroyed several anomalies - placing his 
team in the lead. The companion card itself 
was destroyed once the entity "Summer's 
Exile" reached the party's location. 


At four hours, 27 minutes into play all players 
had depleted most of their HP defending 
themselves. R. Patel's team still held the lead, 
and the only entity remaining was "A Lady 
Who Does Not Approve of Your Life Choices, 
Yet Cannot Look Away", which did not attack; 
it appeared to be content staring at players 
from afar, out-of-reach of their weapons. On 
Dumas/Tucker's turn, Dumas rolled a twelve, 
and directed Tucker to abandon his 
opponents. At the end of his turn, Dumas 
activated a trap card "Suspiciously Scurrying 
Sana", killing all other players and awarding 
his team the MR. GENOCIDE win-condition. 


Notable Cards Drawn: 
Card Color: Green 
Card Title: Suspiciously Scurrying Sand 
Subtitle: Did... did that dune just move? 
Type: Trap 


Description: They have a nasty habit of 
working their way into one's swim-trunks, play 
some Beach Boys when deploying this card for 
maximum yucks! 


Card Color: Blue 
Card Title: The Night Hauler 
Subtitle: Keeps on truckin’. 


Type: Companion 


Description: Hitch a ride with Momentum 
Incarnate! You're free to move about the board 
without rolling dice (turns are limited to two 


wrote that "The irony of interacting with a Self-Insert fanfic isn't lost 
on me". 


Date: / / 
Test Material: Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck. 


Results: A character named Freddy appears multiple times 
throughout the book, working as a farmhand on the ranch. The 
narrator describes him as "a man whose handsomeness is all the 
more apparent when compared to the other hands at the ranch, as 
he is not nearly as worn down". His largest appearance is during the 
section when George Milton and Lennie Small first arrive on the 
ranch. As he passes the two protagonists by, he comments on the 
size of Lennie, remarking that he "looks like a bull who learned how 
to walk on his hind legs". 


Date: / / 
Test Material: 300 children's building block toys. 


Result: No Change. 


Notes: The result of this test is rather inconclusive. Did SCP-423 
consider the letters on the blocks a picture instead of text? Could it 
only affect one block and "not have enough room"? Or can it simply 
not affect this form of writing? More tests like this will have to be 
conducted. 


Date: / / 
Test Material: SCP-2236. SCP-2236 was used to examine texts 
known to have been affectd by SCP-423. 


Result: First few texts examined exhibited no change. In 
subsequently-examined texts, references to SCP-423 in the text 
were, when examined using SCP-2236, interpreted as descriptions 
of "Fred" seeking to hide or avoid observation. When returned to the 
journal, a comment in appeared in the journal reading "That was 
rude." This comment, when examined using SCP-2236, appeared 
as a string of expletives. 


minutes in duration, don't hog the fun) while 
accompanied by this companion! Mind those 
Orange cards, Leroy! 


Stats: 12 ATK /4 DEF /6 HP 
Audio Recording Transcript Excerpts 
S.D. Locke: [Mumbles incoherently] ...them? 


A. Tucker: For the last time, we can't 
understand a damn thing you say! 


R. Patel: It is not his fault he was shot in the 
face. 


A. Dumas: Yea, whose idea was it to play on 
Maksur anyways? 


R. Dumas: | thought it'd make for an 
interesting challenge, you can only play on 
"Safe" so many times before it starts to get old. 


D-101: So, how many of these things are left, 
anyways? 


Dr. Perkins: Not sure. We killed all the gods 
and monsters, Locke took out the infovore... 


D-101: Shit! Right there! D'ya see her? 
A. Tucker: Ah! 


A. Dumas: Oh, right. Ugh, that one gives me 
the willies like you wouldn't believe. 


Dr. Perkins: The hell is it doing all the way 
over there anyways? 


R. Patel: It doesn't matter. Someone needs to 
get over there and finish it, so we can end the 
session. 


D-101: You mean so you can win. 


A. Dumas: Well, it's our turn now. Lessee... 
twelve! Nice! 


A. Tucker: Sweet, let's take her out - you got 
any good gear for me boss? 


A. Dumas: Er...yea. Just, just move to the 
edge of our turn radius. 


D-101: Finally. 


R. Dumas: Just hurry up and end it hun, | 
can't feel my ass anymore. 


A. Dumas: [Dramatically] | now activate... my 
trap card! Bwahahaha! 


[S.D. Locke, D-101, and Agent Steele can be 
heard screaming. Victory music and fireworks 
can be heard, and the announcer 
congratulates "MR. GENOCIDE"]. 


A. Dumas: That's what you get when you 
cross the 'mas! 


R. Dumas: What? You — | can't— [sigh] 
You're a goddamn insufferable prick, you know 
that? 


A. Dumas: An insufferable prick who just won 
us a hundred-million dollars! 


[At this point, the game produced currency 
equal to the Agents’ winnings. This was the 
first and only recorded instance of the payout 
being produced in false game notes or "play 
money".] 


R. Dumas: We're getting a divorce. 


[END LOG] 


+ Open Log 3301|021 
Log ID: 3301|021 


Participants: Sgt. (S.) Kadowski and Cpl. 
Winston, Agent Chang and Agent Arch of MTF 
Gamma-4, Sgt. Wyte and Agent (D.) 
Kadowski, Agent Samson and Agent Karlyle of 
DTF Sigma-6, Agent Peterson and Agent 
Quinzeen of MTF Eta-10, Researcher 
Pentach and D-93017. 


Game Board: Imbrium Crater 
Winner: None. (See game summary.) 
Victory Condition: None. 

Difficulty Setting: Apollyon. 
Runtime: Oh 10m 00 seconds 
Payout: None.