Item Description: A worn out dartboard that cannot be hit by any 
player, regardless of skill level. Despite missing, the user will believe 
that they scored a bullseye and boast about their skills for a period 
of time between 4 and 110 minutes. 

Date of Recovery: 09-27-1963 

Location of Recovery: A pub in Cork, Ireland 

Current Status: In storage at Site-77 


Item Description: A small toy in the shape of a domesticated pig 
with wings that animates at will. Item behaves in a manner similar to 
its biological counterpart, with the only exception being that it uses 
flight as its primary mode of transportation. 

Date of Recovery: 05-10-2001 


Location of Recovery: Houston, Texas 
Current Status: Contained in storage on Site-18. 


Item Description: A chocolate-dipped granola bar that, when 
consumed, seems to have the missing portion regrow on one end of 
the bar. 

Date of Recovery: 02-17-2015 

Location of Recovery: , Ontario 

Current Status: In storage at Site- 's cafeteria. Flattened, however 
anomalous effects haven't been nullified. 

Note: Researchers and their brains. Always wanting to know more... 
smashed my damn chocolate bar in the process. - Agent 


Item Description: A cardboard box. All physical documentation of 
item spontaneously translocates to inside the box itself. 

Date of Recovery: 01-01-2016 

Location of Recovery:  , Georgia, USA 

Current Status: In storage 

Addition: Attempts to keep audio-only recordings resulted in the 
recording devices moving to inside the box. 


Item Description: A piece of information that when put through all 
mediums tested (image, txt, .mp3, ant genome, AIAD, 
[REDACTED)]), alters itself to produce the same description/image of 
a purple flower. 

Date of Recovery: 04-02-2016 

Location of Recovery: [REDACTED]'s digital camera, after being 
struck by lighting. 

Current Status: Contained in Anomalous Data Storage Drive-14. 


Item Description: A paper that causes every other word written on 
it to be turned into an expletive. 

Date of Recovery: 01-24-19 

Location of Recovery: High School 

Current Status: In Site- 's storage locker. 

| @!$4@$@ don't damnit what the @!$# is. I'm @!$4@$@ on @!$# 
right @!$ and @!$#@ fine. Dr. 


Entry Portrayal: An antique lexicon which necessitates readers to 
communicate in unnecessary serpentine synonyms after perusing it. 
Periodically synonyms interdict the prepense definition. 


Occasion of Retrieval: 13-02-19 A.D. 

Venue of Retrieval: Athenaeum, Romania 

Contemporary State: In stockpile 

Notation: Human resources who | toil with are now necessitated to 
use dictionaries when in a téte-a-téte with me. - Dr. M 


Item Description: A VHS Player — when described, changes the 
letters of random words any description it to the Unicode 
known as a 'FULL BLOCK'(). While the Player itself not been 
observed show any anomalous aside from this. 

of Recovery: 09-04-2015 
Location Recovery: Sao Paulo, Brazil 
Current Status: Contained in on -18. 


Item Description: A standard AR-15 Combat Rifle that, when fired, 
produces anomalous amounts of smoke from the gun barrel. 

Date of Recovery: 02-17-2015 

Location of Recovery: Munich, Germany 

Current Status: Stored in the Task Force Nu-7 Headquarters 
Armory 


Item Description: A common goldfish (Carassius auratus), 
genetically within normal parameters for its species. It is in no way 
anomalous. 

Notes: Dr. Serion is no longer permitted to edit this document 
without O5-Approval. 

Item Description: A common goldfish (Carassius auratus) that 
sporadically explodes, before spontaneously reassembling. The 
detonations are sufficient to shatter aquarium glass, and have so far 
killed 10. 

Date of Recovery: 02-05-2016 

Location of Recovery: House of Dr. Serion, NY, United States 
Current Status: Kept in plastic bowl in the level 2 testing lab of 
Site-24. Fed twice daily. 


Item Description: A plastic toddler spoon that attempts to gouge 
out the eyes of anyone who comes within six (6) meters of it. 

Date of Recovery: - -2016 

Location of Recovery: , Colorado 

Current Status: In storage 

Notes: The spoon is neither sharp enough nor heavy enough to do 


has been replaced several times) does not reject foreign tissues is 
not known. 


SCP-897 was discovered by the Foundation in the spring of 200 , 
when it was reported that three hikers in Denali National Park, 
Alaska had died in the space of two weeks under similar, highly 
anomalous circumstances. The first hiker appeared to drown, 
despite being on land. The coroner's report confirmed that, not only 
were her lungs filled with water, but they were unusually large in 
relation to her size and build, meaning they did not fit inside her 
ribcage, and as such had ruptured and haemorrhaged. The second 
hiker [DATA EXPUNGED]. The third hiker dropped dead when 
several of his bones (including his cervical vertebrae) appeared to 
spontaneously fracture. A mobile task force sent to scout the area 
found SCP-897 (who had recently taken to living in the wilderness) 
and took it into custody with casualties. SCP-897 reported that he 
had fallen into a river, [DATA EXPUNGED] by a mother grizzly bear, 
and fallen off a cliff at times coinciding with the deaths of the three 
hikers. 


Due to the stress of involuntarily causing multiple deaths, SCP-897 
is highly mentally unstable, and is neither willing nor able to 
cooperate with the Foundation. Its condition has gotten substantially 
worse since being taken into custody. SCP-897 will self-harm at any 
given opportunity. Foundation personnel have been killed or 
injured because of this. Whether SCP-897 self-harms out of 
frustration with its existence or merely to spite the Foundation is 
unknown. 


Addendum: On October 2011, SCP-897 briefly escaped 
Foundation custody. When Dr. Rasmussen entered SCP-897's 
padded cell in order to attempt an interview, SCP-897 broke free of 
its straitjacket and [DATA EXPUNGED] its own face, causing its 
eyes, nose, much of its skin, most of its teeth, and its lower jaw to be 
exchanged with Dr. Rasmussen's. Dr. Rasmussen is believed to 
have expired almost immediately. SCP-897 was then able to pass 
himself off as Dr. Rasmussen, allowing him to leave the facility. 


When Dr. Rasmussen's body was discovered, Agent __ was sent to 
recover SCP-897. 19 hours later, SCP-897 returned of its own 
accord, now possessing the memories and personality of Agent 


any real damage, just slightly uncomfortable. Goggles are 
recommended to anyone working with it. 


Item Description: A standard MPK5 SMG. When fired, it instead 
emits a high-pitched voice that attempts to mimic the expected 
sound of the weapon firing. 

Date of Recovery: 09-18-2012 

Location of Recovery: Lynchwood, 

Current Status: In storage; pending destruction 


Item Description: A 2kg block of gorgonzola cheese, which will 
continuously emit 1970s disco-funk at 65dB when within 12m of any 
male with a moustache. 

Date of Recovery: 01-01-2000 

Location of Recovery: AltMod Discoteque, Antwerp, Belgium 
Current Status: In storage at all-female Site 12 


Item Description: An empty portrait frame, area of 1.25 m x 0.75 m. 
Anyone who makes eye-contact with the object will see it as a 
portrait of themselves. Staring at this object more than 2 minutes will 
result in death. 

Date of Recovery: 11-08-1999 

Location of Recovery: Sicily, Italy 

Current Status: In storage 


Item Description: A 20cm x 20cm x 20cm wooden block that casts 
a shadow shaped like a common house cat. 

Date of Recovery: 02-03-2016 

Location of Recovery:Lisbon, Portugal 

Current Status: Dr. 's office 


Item Description: A Slinky able to turn corners. 

Date of Recovery: 01-03-2016 

Location of Recovery: Toronto, Canada 

Current Status: Undergoing testing in CN Tower stairwell 

Notes: Also crosses short landings, up to 1.4m, as long as there are 
more stairs. 


Item Description: A human brain in a mobile vat of nutrients, 
equipped with camera and speech synthesizer. It claims to be 
Zargox Quaglofan, 23rd century secret agent on a temporal mission 


to prevent the rise of the Insectoid Empire in 1976. 

Date of Recovery: 09-23-2011 

Location of Recovery: A crater at Site 136 

Current Status: Head of Records, Site 136 

Notes: It appears to be delusional, but it's a very good file clerk. - Dr. 
Danger 


Item Description: A titanium spork. Any food eaten with this utensil 
will be perceived to be slightly less spicy than the maximum the 
eater is readily capable of tolerating. No chemical changes to the 
food, or physiological changes to the user are noted, this item only 
affects perception. 

Date of Recovery: 04-16-2016 

Location of Recovery: The Site 88 cafeteria. 

Current Status: In the Site 88 general storage wing, small item 
storage locker. 

Notes: Correction — It's supposed to be in the storage locker, but 
keeps ending up back in the cafeteria utensil rack. | better not catch 
whoever keeps doing this. - Dr. Rachasthani 


Item Description: A toilet. Any animal that comes into contact with 
the toilet will burst into laughter even if they don't have the vocal 
cords to do so. 

Date of Recovery: 02-12-2005 

Location of Recovery: The Site-66 bathroom. 

Current Status: Broken after Dr. dropped item during transport 
to Site-66 Storage Room. 


Item Description: A white sock that whenever worn, turns out to be 
inside out, completely independent from how to sock was actually 
put on. 

Date of Recovery: 01-04-2002 

Location of Recovery: Originally in possession of Agent 

Current Status: In storage 


Item Description: A brown paper grocery bag. When placed on the 
head of a human being, the wearer's face cannot be revealed in any 
way other than removing the bag on their own. Any other attempts 
will remove the bag, only to reveal another bag underneath, still 
covering the head of the wearer. Removed copies no longer display 
anomalous effect. Attempts to cut holes in the bag have failed. 


Deceased subjects do not seem to trigger anomalous effect in the 
object. 

Date of Recovery: 04-13-2009 

Location of Recovery: A Supermarket location in 4. gill 
employee break room. 

Current Status: In storage 


Item Description: A retractable pen with a spring-based clicker. In 
addition to the two states such a pen would normally have (retracted 
and extended), there exists a 'third' state where the pen tip appears 
to retract and extend again; when attempting to write in this third 
state, the pen will start making a continuous, bass-heavy noise as it 
makes contact with the writing surface. Disassembly of the pen has 
revealed no origin as to the source of the sound; the anomalous 
effect only functions when the pen is completely reassembled. 
Date of Recovery: 08-16-2015 

Location of Recovery: High School, USA 

Current Status: In storage, Site-23 


Item Description: A copper fountain in a public space outside 
[REDACTED]. During the daytime, the fountain does not display any 
anomalous properties; however, at any point in the night after 22:30 
when the fountain is not being observed, all coins at the bottom of 
the fountain will inexplicably disappear. Inexplicably, this will only 
occur if there are at least 1945cm3 of water in the fountain. 

Date of Recovery: 16-02-20 

Location of Recovery: , Czech Republic 

Current Status: Disassembled in a Foundation-owned warehouse. 
Notes: The groundskeeper at the location of recovery was aware of 
the fountain's anomalous property, but didn't report it because ‘it 
made his job easier’. | sympathize, but still, with the length of time 
he's been exposed to the anomaly, I'd recommend a Class-E 
amnestic for him. - Agent 


I'll look into clearing it with the Ethics Committee. And as for the 
people telling me this should receive full SCP status - it's a fountain 
that eats your coins. Nothing more. - Dr. Ryken 


Item Description: A whiteboard that anything written on it perfectly 
mirrors itself within 20 minutes. 
Date of Recovery: - -19 


Location of Recovery: School 
Current Status: In storage 


Item Description: A silver wristwatch which, when laid on any 
surface, will soft boil an egg placed on it. No other anomalous 
properties recorded. 

Date of Recovery: 05-03-20 


Location of Recovery: , New Mexico. 
Current Status: In the possession of Dr. Michael for personal 
use. 


Notes: This is absolutely useless; however, it does make preparing 
lunch at work easier as | don't have to wait to use the stove in the 
kitchen. No, you can't have it, it's mine! - Dr. Michael 


Item Description: An open case of 20 tubes of hair gel. Application 
of the hair gel to the scalp of any primate will cause hair to grow, 
recede, or change length until the primate's hair resembles a 1980s 
style mullet. 

Date of Recovery: 08-12-2016 

Location of Recovery: Basement of Barber Shop, Waxahachie, 
TX 

Current Status: In Site-17 storage. 

Notes: Product appears to be mislabeled. All packaging indicates 
the product will give the user a 1950s pompadour. 


Item Description: A large conch seashell, 30 cm in length. When 
the opening is held to a human ear, a dial tone is produced from 
within the shell. No method of dialing the item (if such is possible) 
has yet been determined. 

Date of Recovery: 04-05-2012 

Location of Recovery: Obtained from the seashore of Mindil 
Beach, Australia. 

Current Status: Functioning as an aquarium decoration in Site-82. 


Item Description: A wireless black PlayStation 4 controller that will 
connect to Nintendo 64 entertainment consoles and nothing else. 
Tests have shown that all internals of the controller are unmodified 
and correctly programmed yet there is still no understanding of how 
N64s receive the signal broadcasted by the controller. 

Date of Recovery: 01-24-2016 

Location of Recovery: Obtained from a house in , California 


Current Status: In storage. Request for transfer to Area 43 break 
room pending. 


Item Description: A mundane hockey puck. Slides across all 
surfaces it is placed on, with no observable friction. 

Date of Recovery: 03-04-2016 

Location of Recovery: Surrendered by the ice hockey club of 
Darwin, Australia. 

Current Status: In storage. 


Item Description: A coverless book with 50 pages, when opened it 
will display pages from different parts of different novels and books, 
there are no set patterns to what pages that appears in it. The pages 
will randomize again if book is closed and reopened. 
Date of Recovery: - -1988 
Location of Recovery: On a bookshelf in a public library located in 

, Hong Kong. 
Current Status: In storage. 


Item Description: A small white dresser. Upper drawer contains 
different assortment of items each time it is opened, usually 
consistent with mundane drawer clutter. Any items placed inside are 
no longer present when the drawer is closed and reopened. The 
lower drawer similarly shifts contents, but instead is always 
uniformly filled with a single substance or collection of identical 
objects; previously observed examples include shale gravel, pine 
pitch, unmarked gold ingots, 1985 US pennies with identical 
scratches and surface features, 150 chrome steel objects of 
uncertain function, Bing cherries, and crushed woodwind reeds. 
Date of Recovery: 10-14-2003 

Location of Recovery: ,  , during a raid on a known 
Marshall, Carter, and Dark warehouse. 

Current Status: Low-risk Anomalous Item storage. 

Notes: After brief testing, item was determined to be non-hazardous. 
Request for further testing as a possible disposal for hazardous 
items is pending. 


Item Description: A minor infohazard. Anything describing its 
physical appearance will automatically be redacted. 

Date of Recovery: 04-16-2016 

Location of Recovery: Reykjavik, Iceland 


Current Status: Placed within storage.