The cranial cavity has no grey matter, but a miniaturized chess 
board which plays itself autonomously. SCP-3245's heart is a 
"Connect Four" game board, with the sounds of gameplay 
replicating heartbeats. Occasionally, this board clears itself which 
briefly causes the subject to experience intense chest pain. While 
appearing outwardly healthy, it is not possible to determine the 
overall state of SCP-3245's health due to its anomalous properties. 


Virtually all of these anomalies cause SCP-3245 some level of 
discomfort and extended play has resulted in symptoms comparable 
to the effects of recovery from physical addiction. It has also been 
noted that although the subject has a standard dietary regimen, its 
digestive disorders were far more pronounced during the time which 
it was being tested with board games. The build quality of game 
pieces produced by SCP-3245 may deteriorate in quality depending 
on the condition of its health. 


History: SCP-3245 was recovered from a site believed to have 
been used by the Group of Interest "Herman Fuller's Circus of the 
Disquieting". Reports from the area while the Circus was active 
indicated that SCP-3245 had been working as a carnival game- 
runner. Evidence indicates that the subject had not been associated 
with the circus for very long prior to initial containment. 


When Foundation agents arrived at the location, SCP-3245 was the 


only living subject present. In addition, several carnival games were 
discovered in dilapidated condition, as well as disturbed soil 
indicating heavy foot traffic in the area. SCP-3245 was recovered 
without further incident. 


First reports of SCP-3245's existence had been documented in 
Atlanta, GA, when online records related to the Gamers Against 
Weed Gol were found during a standard web crawl operation. The 
activity of SCP-3245 during the six month gap between its creation 
and recovery by Foundation agents remains unknown. 


Addendum: Interview Log: 


Interviewed: SCP-3245, Mr. Playing Games Is Bad For 
Your Health by Gamers Against Weed 


Interviewer: Dr. Rasmusen, Site-77 Researcher. 


Foreword: Interview took place shortly after initial 
containment to gain insight of SCP-3245's perspective 
regarding its creation and subsequent activities. 


<Begin Log> 


Dr. Rasmusen: Good evening, SCP-3245. Is your health 
well? 


SCP-3245: Do you guys just have one pool of questions 
you ask everyone? Wouldn't have to interview us so 
many times if any of ‘em had a point. I'm fine, though, not 
that y'all care. Not like I've got the circus healthcare 
anymore. 


Dr. Rasmusen: We, /, do have genuine concern for your 
health. The measures we've taken to preserve your life 
should prove that. Our livelihood depends on it, that at 
the very least should convince you. 


SCP-3245: Fantastic. Thanks. What a great life you're 
preserving to poke and prod forever. Whatever. Guess 
it's not like I've ever done better anywhere else. Not even 
when | had a real job. Not since | was made. 


Dr. Rasmusen: Why do you think you were created? 


SCP-3245: Stupid kids playing God. They wanted me to 
be like the Six Million Dollar Man but with games. What a 
life to aspire to. What's the point of playing when the 
game is rigged from the start? My brain is wired for 
games. I'm probably going to win every time. Only place 
that ever valued what | do was the circus, but even they 
only wanted to exploit it. 


Dr. Rasmusen: So, your properties continue to bother 
you? 


SCP-3245: I'm pissing fuckin’ sand, man. It's bad. | hate 
that goddamn T-Rex. Just when | thought they were 
taking out one of those goddamn pointy pieces. A 
dinosaur! What the fuck is that doing in monopoly? It's 
bullshit. Pointiest piece ever. Take an eye out with that 
thing. 


Dr. Rasmusen: Would you agree with the premise of 
your creation? 


SCP-3245: Huh? 


Dr. Rasmusen: Playing games, having a detrimental 
effect on one's health. 


SCP-3245: Shit, I'm glad they didn't put that on my 
thumbs, I'd have no skin left. Pauses. Mean... I'm kind of 
biased, because fucking look at me. But fun and games 
can definitely take over a life. When | joined the Circus, | 
saw how they took carnival games to a new level of 
addiction. They're rigged from the start. But you still have 
people, who've seen enough and followed along to the 
point they should know, still trying to get that... whatever 
bullshit prize is at the end of the rainbow. They're like 
deadheads. It's a new drug. Not even gambling, but 
maybe a little like gambling, the same rush. What isn't a 
drug, honestly? 


| know the kids who made me had problems. | guess 
maybe | was supposed to be a joke? Framing it as, like, 
these are just harmless games, not physically 
degenerative. Unless it's literally what you are. But I'ma 
bad joke. When these little shits are playing games with 
nature, it's worse than some card shit. You might spend 
all your money on cardboard cards but these fucks are 
digging up dead bodies and morphing them into 
unnatural bullshit. The games they're playing... | hope 
they're high because making this shit without chemical 
alteration... | don't even want to think about it. 


Dr. Rasmusen: How was the period around your 
creation like for you? 


SCP-3245: | don't even remember, man... it's pretty 
fuzzy. It was a dorm, | think. A double room but without a 
roommate, so | lived in the closet during the day and 
slept on the spare mattress at night. Kid would be up ail 
night playing Destiny and didn't feel the need to pipe 
down on my behalf. 


Dr. Rasmusen: Why did you stay? 


SCP-3245: Kid had mad connections. | don't know if they 
were really dominoes, or some other thing that looked 
like 'em... but | could snort that shit and get mad high. Of 
course those were my championship druggie days. | try 
to stay clean now. You guys through now? 


Dr. Rasmusen: Almost. When did you leave, ending up 
with the circus of all places? 


SCP-3245: Smart dumb kids like that... they get tired of 
stuff quickly. One close call with his RA was all it took to 
boot me to the curb. Wandered the streets for awhile, 
freezing my ass off, until | ended up finding something 
shiny and warm. Out in the woods, where they said they 
waited for people like me once we were done playing 
around. | don't remember much specifically but whatever 
| agreed to ended up being a good deal for a long time. 


Dr. Rasmusen: They hired you to play games, yes? 
What constitutes a game for you? 


SCP-3245: Yeah, | ran the midway. It's always a bad day 
at the midway. People getting hurt, either in their bodies, 
minds or wallets. There aren't any winners there. 
Everyone knows, even the little squirts like me. When 
you're only taking things away from people it strikes a lot 
of psychological toll. It's why the Germans used to get 
their dudes sauced up before they went out to kill people. 
People don't like hurting each other, even when they say 
they do. 


Dr. Rasmusen: But how did they, do you, define 
games? 


SCP-3245: I'm getting tired of this. But it has to be fun. 
Like, math games, Sudoku, it's basically homework. Not 
about that life. Maybe if it was also a video game but at 
that point it's getting a little out of my wheelhouse. If 
people are having fun they're going to be thinking less 
and asking even fewer questions. That's all the circus 
ever wanted. 


Dr. Rasmusen: Are you going to answer any more 
questions? 


SCP-3245: No. 
<End Log> 


Closing Statement: Subject did not provide further 
insights and the interview was concluded shortly after the 
end of this log. Further interviews are to be conducted 
after the approval of the attending Level 3 Researcher. 


Addendum: The following document was discovered stuck to the 
bottom of SCP-3245's shoe during initial containment. Due to 
exposure to the elements and being stepped upon repeatedly, the 
content of the document was heavily degraded. 


Level 3 Clearance Required 


Holy Heck! You've just found yourself your 
very own Mr. Playing Games Is Bad For Your 
Health by Gamers Against Weed! If you sit 
there too long you're going to stick that way. Is 
Dr. Wondertainment cool yet? 


Find them all and become Mr. (Mad) Gamer! 


01. Mr. Literal Serial Killer 
02. Mr. Normie 


<illegible> Mr. Playing Games Is Bad For Your 
Health ¥ 


30. Mr. Monty Python And The Holy Grail 
31. Ms. Zapatista 

32. Mr. Hax 

33. Mr. Just Has The Tattoo 

34. Mr. Top Text and Mr. Bottom Text 
35. Mr. Finale 


SCP-3246: A Nice Old Lady 


Item Number: SCP-3246 
Object Class: Thaumiel 


Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3246 is currently housed 
at Site-19 in a standard humanoid containment cell. SCP-3246 is 
allowed seven skeins of synthetic yarn per calendar week. 
Replacement knitting needles and/or crochet hooks may also be 
provided on request. 


When communicating with SCP-3246 personnel are to note that it is 
deaf in its right ear. As well, it is suffering from the early stages of 
Alzheimer's-related dementia, and believes itself to be in a long-term 
care facility; personnel are not to disabuse it of this notion. 


Each instance of SCP-3246-A is to be logged and fitted with a 
tracking chip. They are not permitted outside of a secure location. 
The introduction of SCP-3246-A to other anomalies must be 
approved by containment specialists for the anomaly in question, 
and requires authorization from at least 3-L5 personnel. D-Class 
testing of the instances must take place beforehand to determine 
their effects. Excess or disused instances of SCP-3246-A are to be 
kept in their host facility's respective secure storage area, or 
incinerated. 


Description: SCP-3246 (formerly Abigail Tatham of Salford, UK, 
age 93) is a human who manifests the ability to produce anomalous 
clothing (SCP-3246-A) by knitting or crocheting them. SCP-3246 
has proven to be cooperative and genial when provided with 
sufficient stocks of yarn, and in its absence, suffers from debilitating 
migraines and depressive episodes. 


Knitwear and crocheted items produced by SCP-3246 present a 
number of anomalous attributes that are apparently tailored to the 
intended recipient's personal wants or needs. The anomalous nature 


subject will then vanish from our reality for a period of time ranging 
from .25 seconds to the longest recorded time of 3 seconds. 


Upon reappearance of the subject a new modification will be 
present, with occasional repeats of past modifications. Subject is 
unable to explain to where he is taken to during these attacks at any 
given time, but is firm in stating his duration of departure is 
significantly longer than his recorded departure time (upwards of 
several years in some cases). 


Addendum 415-01: SCP-415 had been in a state of movement 
across the United States for approximately two and a half years, 
allegedly hitchhiking, staying in the wilderness, and living 
sporadically in small towns. Although no full record of his activities 
exists, information from interviews and first hand civilian reports 
have provided a partial travel map. It was first sighted in New 
England fleeing along the east coast of the US, then traveled almost 
directly into the heart of the Midwest before wandering in a rough 
circle around that area, participating in farm work and manual labor. 
According to SCP-415, it was running from an organization that “[it] 
believe[s] to be hunting [it]’, presumably to sell his organs on the 
black market. The Foundation came in contact with SCP-415 after it 
turned himself in to the FBI, asking for protection from this unknown 
organization. SCP-415 was intercepted and contained while in 
transport to an asylum after turning violent upon its requests being 
declined. 


« SCP-414 | SCP-415 | SCP-416 » 


of the items only manifests when they are being worn or otherwise 
used for their intended purpose. They are otherwise non-anomalous. 


As SCP-3246 works, it gains rudimentary knowledge of the intended 
recipient. Each recipient thus far has been determined to be within 
1.5 km of SCP-3246, and each recipient since its capture has been 
within Site-19's proximity. SCP-3246 does not seem to possess 
agency in the selection process, nor is it capable of producing 
SCP-3246-A on command or by request. 


Prior to containment, two instances of SCP-3246-A had been 
recovered and assigned Anomalous Item Numbers. Upon the 
discovery of a third, an investigation was initiated by the Department 
of Analytics, which revealed the existence of SCP-3246. It was 
recovered discreetly by agents Gregorio and Went. SCP-3246 has 
no living relatives, and made little to no interaction with neighbors. 
An obituary for SCP-3246 was released. 


The following is a partial list of SCP-3246-A recovered following the 
capture of SCP-3246: 


¢ A blue baby blanket. When this blanket is placed over a doll or 
similar humanoid toy, adult observers perceive the doll as a 
human infant. 

¢ A turquoise scarf. When worn by a subject, grants the ability 
to sing in soprano voice, regardless of previous ability or vocal 
range. 

¢ A brown washcloth. When used, it removes all scars, acne, 
burns and other blemishes from the user's skin. 

« An orange beanie. When worn, it lowers the overall 

intelligence of the wearer significantly. 

A pair of adult-sized mint-green socks, knitted in a sawtooth 

pattern. D-Class personnel wearing them gained the ability to 

walk upright and with full traction on any surface at any 

incline, even on walls and ceilings. 

¢ A white cap with ear flaps. Wearing the cap causes test 
subjects to become totally deaf for as long as they continue to 
wear the cap. 


Addendum: 


The following is a partial list of SCP-3246-A created in Foundation 


custody: 


item Number 
SCP-3246-A-4 


SCP-3246-12 


SCP-3246-A-14 


SCP-3246-A-16 


Description/Traits 
A multicolor cardigan. 
While worn, projects 
the mental image of a 
smiling clown to 
humans within 
eyeshot of the 
individual. 


A rainbow beanie. 
Intangible, sparkling 
insects resembling 
members of the order 
lepidoptera manifest 
within 5m of the 
wearer. 

A pair of black gloves. 
While worn, the 
fingers elongate and 
broaden, forming 
claws similar to a 
mole's. Greatly 
improves the wearer's 
nocturnal vision. 


A small dog sweater, 
Test subjects that 
managed to fit their 
hands inside reported 
feeling content, and 
described an 


Notes 
Believed to have been 
knitted for Jonas 
S ___, who had been 
transferred to Site-19 
following a four-month 
assignment at 
Site-2170. The item 
was relinquished to 
the aforementioned 
facility to assist in 
containment. 
Currently located in 
Researcher Kiryu's 
office. 


Three members of the 
Chaos Insurgency 
were found to be 
occupying a tunnel 
beneath the facility, 
which had been dug 
out over the past few 
months. All three were 
captured and 
relocated to Armed 
Site-12 for 
interrogation. 

Based off SCP-3246's 
description of the 
intended recipient, the 
item was placed on 
SCP-1424. 
SCP-1424's pattern of 


SCP-3246-A-56 


SCP-3246-A-62 


overwhelming feeling 
of being loved. 


A pair of lime-green 
socks. While worn, 
physically alters 
subject's feet into 
prehensile 
appendages similar to 
a monkey's paw. The 
change is painless, 
instantaneous, and 
reverts upon removal. 


A mauve sweater 
(size XXXL). Instills 
intense feelings of 
being watched in 
wearers. 


movement has not 
changed, though now 
it wags its tail while 
doing so.