Let it be known on this date, AgentA A (Mobile Task Force 
Omega-7, "Pandora's Box"), while in extreme personal danger to life 
and limb, did personally engage a Keter-level SCP for the purposes 
of completing a retrieval operation. Although grievously injured 
during the attack, which resulted in the death of Agent Beatrice 
Maddox, AgentA ‘actions allowed SCP-073 to come into attack 
range of SCP-__, which was at the time rampaging through 
Foundation Facilities. Upon engaging the enemy, did <DATA 
EXPUNGED> 


DATE: : 
able came by today. he heard abouyt b. it was hard goingn to the 
funeral. buyt we've all lost friends. 


it's hard typing with no hands and no fingers. n i'm still getting used 
to the mouth wand. sime tomes i mmiss keys. it's my jourmnal. so i 
don'rt really give a ashiut. 


i took a shard to my head too. one piece went into my skull. they say 
that it hirt part of my brain. mnty sense of empathy might be gone. 


whatever thar means./ 

i watched the footaghe of the team dying.; nirt was weird. ni thought 
i'd feel it more but it was like watching cats being dissected. jusat 
more guts and blood. 

i hear they have a machine that makes you mbetter., i think i'll give it 
a trey. 

Permission for AgentA A to undergo enhancement by 


SCP-212 - GRANTED 
- O5- 


Log Ends: For further information, please see SCP-—784-ARC 


Log Of Anomalous Items: For those objects that are not 
quite an SCP but are still abnormal in some way. Feel 
free to add to it, but be aware that it is regularly pruned. 


Foreword: The SCP Foundation has discovered a substantial 
number of items which are simply too useless to merit further 
attention. This document lists those items which have prompted 
some curiosity. It may be used as a resource should knowledge of 
these items become useful or necessary in the future. 

— Dr. , Head of Research, Site 


Note: Please add new entries to the bottom of the list, not the 
middle or the top. 


Item Description: An unbreakable lamp. 

Date of Recovery: - - 

Location of Recovery: 4 

Current Status: Kept in Dr. Rights’ office in Site- . 

Notes: This was one of the first items categorized as "Anomalous" 
and denied full SCP classification, due to lack of value in further 
research and little need for special containment. 


Item Description: A penny which, when flipped, will always land 
"heads up". 

Date of Recovery: - - 

Location of Recovery: , 

Current Status: Shipped off to permanent storage. 

Notes: Can't believe that none of the researchers kept this to win 
bets with. 


Item Description: An ordinary brand number 2 pencil, which 
will balance easily on its tip for hours at a time. 

Date of Recovery: - - 

Location of Recovery: ; 

Current Status: Incinerated. 

Notes: I’m not even sure why this was an anomaly. Maybe it just had 


a very flat tip. 

Notice: Destroying anomalous items without appropriate permission 
is a major violation of Foundation policy. See that this does not 
occur again. - Site Director 


Item Description: A painting (possibly a landscape, records are 
unclear) that gave a mild case of diaphragmatic spasms, or hiccups, 
to anyone who saw it. 

Date of Recovery: - - 

Location of Recovery: ; 

Current Status: Incinerated. 

Notes: This would obviously be a pain to work with, but shouldn't 
they have at least tried to see how it worked? 

Notice: Destroying anomalous items without appropriate permission 
is a major violation of Foundation policy. See that this does not 
occur again. - Site Director 


Item Description: Normal garden slugs, whose trail has the exact 
same chemical composition and taste as commercial-brand ranch 
dressing. They also appear to reproduce by binary fission every 
week. 

Date of Recovery: - - 

Location of Recovery: , 

Current Status: In animal containment. Excess entities incinerated. 


Item Description: A small rock that emits a bright white light from 
an unknown source. Otherwise unremarkable. 

Date of Recovery: - - 

Location of Recovery: ; 

Current Status: Currently in the possession of Dr. Light. 

Notes: No radiation, no life signs, nothing. If nothing else, it's a 
reminder of the inexplicable nature of the universe. 


Item Description: A 1964 Smith & Wesson .44 Magnum Revolver. 
When any ammunition is fired from the third chamber, an 
unidentified male voice will shout "Nice shot!" 

Date of Recovery: 09-03- 

Location of Recovery: Wichita, Kansas, USA 

Current Status: In storage at Site 19's vintage weapons depository. 
Notes: Perfectly serviceable and well-maintained aside from the 
anomaly. Accuracy or even proficiency with the firearm is not 


felt sorry for him.” Bard walked to the cafeteria and made 
Foundation personnel make him steak and strawberry 
ice cream. Upon completing his meal, he returned to his 
cell to sleep. Command determined the threat presented 
by Bard’s continually developing abilities outweighed any 
further potential insights into SCP-896, and ordered his 
termination. It is theorized that Bard only returned to his 
cell because the thought of escape from Foundation 
custody had not even crossed his mind. 


Cleric has requested researchers allow him to invest in 
intelligence statistics to enhance his failing memory. His 
request is tentatively approved. At this point nearly all 
subjects require Cleric’s guidance to perform any tasks. 


Berserker has seemingly reached a plateau of his 
physical abilities. He claims he is no longer experiencing 
any increase of strength or agility despite continued gain 
in SCP-896. Requesting additional security measures be 
considered in case he is falsifying his results. 


It should be noted that communications with all subjects 
has become increasingly difficult as all are rapidly losing 
language skills. 


Test Log SCP-896-A3990: 


Testing Notes: Total containment breach all subjects. 
Three subjects terminated. Testing discontinued. 
Character Statistics [REDACTED] 

Notes: While subjects were led back to their 
containment cells by Foundation security, Berserker 
managed to remove his shock collar and kill guards. His 
strength and speed were much higher than anticipated. 
Berserker proceeded to free the other subjects. Warlock 
and Berserker made their way back to SCP-896’s 
containment cell. Knight remained and resisted 
Foundation personnel attempting to re-establish 
containment. Knight held off Foundation personnel for 
ten minutes. Standard issue firearms could not harm 
Knight. Knight was eventually forced into a containment 


required for the anomaly to function. Voice sounds whether or not 
the shot is, in fact, "nice". 


Item Description: A wire clothes hanger. Only long-sleeve, blue, 
men's dress shirts with collar sizes between 15.5" and 16.5" can 
successfully be hung upon it. All other clothing articles simply drop 
off to the floor when hanger is employed. 

Date of Recovery: 09-15- 

Location of Recovery: Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada 

Current Status: In storage. 


Item Description: A nuclear snow globe. When shaken, instead of 
falling snow, it shows a miniature-scale nuclear explosion. It emits 
no radiation, sound, or force, and the explosion pattern changes 
every shake. Aftereffects such as radioactive snow and black rain 
have been observed. At random intervals, the snow globe will 
contain a small shed, car, or truck, which reacts to the explosion. 
Date of Recovery: - - 

Location of Recovery: Sokrovenno, Russia 

Current Status: In storage. 


Item Description: A squirrel which constantly moved much slower 
than normal, even when jumping or falling, similar to "slow-motion" 
video footage. 

Date of Recovery: - - 

Location of Recovery: Family Campgrounds, 

Current Status: In animal containment. 


Item Description: A cheap plastic ping-pong ball, that would 
change from red to green twice daily. 

Date of Recovery: - -20 

Location of Recovery: , California, US 

Current Status: Located under a locker in Storage Room 19-553B. 
Maintenance team required to extract object. 


Item Description: A white cowboy hat. Any person wearing is 
compelled to whoop and box dance uncontrollably. 

Date of Recovery: - -20 

Location of Recovery: , Texas 

Current Status: Kept in a scantly used test chamber and brought 
out during staff birthday parties. 


Item Description: Six-sided dice that can occasionally land ona 
seven. 

Date of Recovery: - -19 

Location of Recovery: Gaming Society in , Maryland 
Current Status: Being used for research by Dr. McCallum. 

Notes: Research my @!$. He's just using the damned thing to cheat 
on his sneak attack damage. - Dr. Morgan 


Item Description: C -C branded and stylized cola glass. Any 
liquid drunk from glass reported to taste like P brand cola. 

Date of Recovery: - - 

Location of Recovery: Site-19 

Current Status: Destroyed after being dropped by canteen worker 


Item Description: A .500 sidearm that discharges all loaded 
cartridges as if they were blanks. 

Date of Recovery: - - 

Location of Recovery: ; 

Current Status: In storage. 


Item Description: Glass paperweight which constantly floats 
exactly seven (7) centimeters above any given surface. 

Date of Recovery: - - 

Location of Recovery: Funeral Home in ; 
Current Status: Shattered in bizarre acapella accident. Dr. 
McCallum is currently being questioned. 


Item Description: A drinking glass that visually appears to be able 
to hold a pint (568 ml) of fluid, but overflows when more than 35 ml 
is poured into it. 

Date of Recovery: - -1998 

Location of Recovery: , Illinois 

Current Status: In storage. 


Item Description: A series of pornographic VHS tapes that, when 
rewound, would continually change actors, sets, and methods of 
coitus. All appear to relate to actual filmed movies, though the 
quality is low. 

Date of Recovery: - -19 

Location of Recovery: Hackensack, New Jersey 


Current Status: Missing, presumed lost. Recently recovered from 
the possession of Dr. . In storage. 


Item Description: A 76-centimeter-tall statue of a clown. In room 
where it was placed, a giggling sound would be noted whenever 
lights were turned off. 

Date of Recovery: 05-16-200 

Location of Recovery: , Germany 

Current Status: Shot approximately 15 times with a 9mm sidearm 
by Agent . Agent reprimanded. No anomalous properties 
recorded in the remains. 


Item Description: An adult male capybara (Hydrochoerus 
hydrochaeris) several thousand miles away from the natural habitat 
for its species, with bright blue and green fur. 


Date of Recovery: - -20 
Location of Recovery: , Wisconsin 
Current Status: Identified as lost exotic pet with -brand hair 


dye. Returned to owner; class-A amnestic administered; recovery 
agent reprimanded. 


Item Description: An HB pencil which cannot be used to write, and 
only draws photorealistic images of Jimi Hendrix eating various 
foods. 

Date of Recovery: - -1979 

Location of Recovery: __, Liechtenstein 

Current Status: Accidentally snapped during testing (1993); 
portions of pencil did not retain anomalous properties, and were 
subsequently incinerated. 


Item Description: A 24000-carat diamond, cut in the size and 
shape of a common construction brick. 

Date of Recovery: - -197 

Location of Recovery: , South Africa 

Current Status: In storage pending identification of source. 


Item Description: A white cotton-and-polyester t-shirt bearing the 
words 'SCP: SECURE CONTAIN PROTECT" on the front, and a 
crude but recognizable cartoon of SCP-173 on the back, with the 
caption "SCP-173: DON'T BLINK". Aside from the security breach it 
represents, the item has no anomalous properties. 


Date of Recovery: - -20 
Location of Recovery: Thrift Store, New York City, New York 
Current Status: In storage. 


Item Description: A wedding invitation which, every six hours, 
becomes a different wedding invitation. Thus far, all invitations have 
been for weddings on dates between 5 and 15 years in the past, and 
have involved persons not found to exist. 

Date of Recovery: - -20 

Location of Recovery: Bookshop, , Wales 
Current Status: In use as one-time pad generator. 


Item Description: 16-month day planner (September 2009 to 
December 2010) manufactured by the company which will 
duplicate anything written into it across all other units. This only 
works for date/time entries that have not yet come to pass. 

Date of Recovery: - -2010 

Location of Recovery: Office Supplies, , Florida 
Current Status: 17 units in Foundation possession; unknown 
number remain in circulation (estimated at ). Research personnel 
are monitoring new entries in an effort to locate remaining copies. 


Item Description: An Ikea-brand wall clock which seems to 
disappear and reappear once every second. 

Date of Recovery: - -19 

Location of Recovery: , Scotland. 

Current Status: Disappeared at 1124 hours GMT on - -19 . Item 
never materialised, presumed irretrievable. 


Item Description: A rubber-and-metal flyswatter which, when used 
to kill an invertebrate, causes the user to burst into tears. 

Date of Recovery: - -19 

Location of Recovery: Free Clinic, |, Suriname 

Current Status: In storage. 


Item Description: A spear that, when thrown, pierces the heart of 
the nearest humanoid and extends several spikes from its blade 
afterward. Agents are to note that "the nearest humanoid" is typically 
the person who threw it. 

Date of Recovery: - - 

Location of Recovery: __, Ireland 


Current Status: In storage. 


Item Description: A Risk set that has a variable number of pieces, 
appearing and disappearing as needed on the board. Sounds of 
battle are produced by the dice when rolled on hard surfaces rather 
than the expected clattering. 

Date of Recovery: - - 

Location of Recovery: , Oregon 

Current Status: Available in Area 43 break room for recreation. 


Item Description: A piece of vine charcoal that causes "Someone 
help me! I'm trapped in the charcoal!" to be written every several 
seconds whenever used for writing or drawing. 

Date of Recovery: - - 

Location of Recovery: , Scotland 

Current Status: In storage. 


Item Description: A bottle of bootleg perfume, which 
attracts cats in a 1 km radius when used. Discovered after a 
gathering of over 4,000 cats caused a traffic jam in downtown 


Date of Recovery: 

Location of Recovery: 

Current Status: Stored in an airtight container, Low-Value Item 
Storage, Site- . 


Item Description: An upright piano. If a human touched any of the 
piano keys, the human became irresistibly compelled to play the 
piano and sing popular Broadway show tunes, for a period of three 
hours or until the player was incapacitated. It is to be noted that the 
item did not provide musical talent, knowledge of tunes, knowledge 
of lyrics, or the ability to sing on-key. 

Date of Recovery: 04-28-200 

Location of Recovery: Recreation center at Foundation Site 33. 
Piano had been at that site for several years but its unusual 
properties did not manifest until Incident [DATA EXPUNGED]. 
Current Status: Disassembled by sledgehammer during 
containment breach; resulting detritus incinerated. Residual ashes 
evidenced no unusual properties. 


Item Description: A #2 pencil that, when used, causes the writer to 


unknowingly make spelling errors. Spelling errors can be corrected 
using the pencil. 

Date of Recovery: 06- -20 

Location of Recovery: Site 19 supply cabinet 

Current Status: Accidentally destroyed. Materials demonstrated no 
unusual properties 

Notes: Are you sure the person who reported this wasn't just really 
bad at spelling? 


Item Description: A white plastic "halo", which will shine and float 

when above anybody who has not committed any of the 7 deadly 

sins. Will glow red when placed above anyone else. 

Date of Recovery: - - 

Location of Recovery: , 

Current Status: Melted itself down after being placed above Dr. 
's head.