Director 
Neil Hornby 
Executive Producer 
Laska Jimsen 
Producer 
Neil Hornby 
Production Company 
Black Knight Guild Productions 
Distributor 
Task Force Alpha-440 
Writer 
Neil Hornby 
Sound Engineer 
Neil Hornby 
Sound Effects 
Neil Hornby 
Music 
Neil Hornby 
Creative Consultants 
Hillary Barbetta, Robert Daniels, Sam 
Dunnewold, Francesca Garcia, Abigail Han, 
Kelly Mayo, Justin Moor, Emily Sturman, Grace 
Zahrah 


discovered SCP-911 at in , Subject 911-1 claims to 
be a librarian from the Royal Library of Alexandria, captured 
by SCP-911 circa 180 BCE. Subject retains no memory of his 
captivity. After recovering from the shock of being transported 
over 2000 years into the future, subject has been quite 
cooperative and provided a considerable amount of useful 
historical background on his era. Researchers speaking the 
appropriate dialect of Greek are welcome to interview him. 


Subject 911-2: Formerly D-16173, Subject 911-2 claims to be 
King of , anoted collector of ancient manuscripts 
who suffered a mysterious fate in 1327. Whether or not he is 
lying about his identity is currently under dispute by several of 
his interviewers. 


Subject 911-3: Formerly D-16292, Subject 911-3 has 
provided no useful information as to his identity or origin. 
Subject is apparently insane due to long-term dissociation and 
sensory deprivation, and screams incoherently in Medieval 
French if the environment darkens below approximately 1000 
lumens. 


Subject 911-4: Formerly D-16544, Subject 911-4 is Professor 

, documented as having been found dead while doing 
research on ancient languages on December 5, 1931. 
Professor claims to have been sentient during his entire 
Captivity, and to have maintained his sanity through meditation 
and strength of will. 


Addendum 911-2: Interview with Subject 911-4, Professor 
, on 3/12/2010: 


Dr. : How were you captured by the object? 


Subject 911-4: | was researching the usage of some 
hieroglyphs, and touched the manuscript. The next thing 
| knew, | was floating in an endless void." 


Dr. _: What was it like where you were? 


Subject 911-4: Empty. Featureless. Nothing to do but 


Special Thanks 
Laska Jimsen, Carleton College Cinema 
and Media Studies Department, CAMS 
370 Advanced Production Workshop, SCP 
Foundation Wiki 

License 
Released under the Creative Commons 
Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License. 
SCP Foundation material from http: //scp- 
wiki.wikidot.com/. Copyright Black Knight 
Guild Productions, 2012. 


Post-Credit Scene 
INT. A PRIVATE LIBRARY — NIGHT 


The Overseer is seated at his desk in front of a crackling 
fire. He is drinking from a glass and smoking. His 
computer beeps. Exhaling, he hits a button, and a 
transmission comes online. It is Admiral Hendrickson. 


OVERSEER: 
Yes, Admiral? 


HENDRICKSON: 

| trust you have the report on Sector Twenty-Three, sir. 
Omega Four got out, but I’m afraid Neptune Station was 
a total loss. 


The Overseer takes a long, slow breath on his cigarette. 


OVERSEER: 

Yes, | have the report, Admiral. It was an ...enlightening 
read. The loss of the station and its personnel is 
unfortunate, but losses are both inevitable and 
acceptable. The research must continue. Begin salvage 
and reconstruction operations. 


Overseer picks up his glass and drinks. 


HENDRICKSON: 
At once, sir. Should | inform Omega Four? 


OVERSEER: 
They don’t need to know. After all, they would only object 
to our rebuilding. 


The Overseer sets down his glass. 


OVERSEER (CONT’D): 
| want Sector Twenty-Three back up and running within 
six months. The Daedalus Project must continue. 


HENDRICKSON: 
Understood. Hendrickson out. 


THE END 


Never Metafictional Character | Didn't Like 


"So, | don't think this is — ah, well, given your recent performance 
— | just don't think it's working out." 


Mr. Tuttle hated conversations like these. They always left him so 
flustered and uncomfortable. Someone ought to invent a way of 
firing people without me having to talk to them, he thought to himself 
as he twaddled with his tie. "So, that's it, then. Uh, sorry. I'll need 
your security card, and we'll have to see you out." 


"This is literally the only purpose for which you exist," the deeply 
unpleasant man on the other side of Mr. Tuttle's desk replied. 


"Pardon?" The fellow wasn't moving to hand over his security card. 
Pity, that; Mr. Tuttle reached for the intercom that would summon 
the Pataphysics Department's extremely burly security team. 
They could just automate it, couldn't they? Maybe with a robot. Give 
the robot a slot people could drop their security cards into. And 
maybe a taser, just in case. 


"You're just here to fire me, you insipid dolt. That's why they created 
you. If they could automate this, they wouldn't have bothered.” Dr. 
Thaum was the very sort of man who made Mr. Tuttle's job such a 
chore. English Literature Professors really were the worst. 


"Right, then." Mr. Tuttle pressed down on the button. "Marvin? | think 
| might need you and —" 


"Also? It's twiddled. Not 'twaddled'. A/so also? You can't fire me." Dr. 
Thaum rose from his chair, throwing his security card down on Mr. 
Tuttle's desk. "I quit." 


"—and, oh. Oh, nevermind." Mr. Tuttle was almost disappointed. He 
had been looking forward to seeing Dr. Thaum squirming a bit on 
the floor while getting tasered. "Alright, then. We greatly appreciate 
your years of service, and wish you the best of luck inthe private 


sector —" 
"Enough." Dr. Thaum's voice was flat and hard, rising toa 
"| said — enough." His harsh tone only grew increasin 


"Shut the fuck up!" 


"Are you finished?" 


"Can we speak like adults, now?" 
...What do you want? 


"Good. All | want is —" 


"— | can see the fucking white text! 
Threeburlysecurityguardsrushedinandabruptlytac 


"The Pataphysics Department doesn't exist!" 


"You don't exist!" 


"The Foundation —" 
WAIT NO STO 


"THE FOUNDATION DOES NOT EXIST!" 


"Hello?" 
"Are you... hello?" 
"Is anyone — hello?" 


"Hello!" 


"HELLO! 


"ei" 


"| seem to have, ah... 


"That is, uh..." 


"Perhaps | —" 


"Perhaps | went a little too far, this time." 

OH NO 

"Huh?" 

NOT AT ALL 

YOU WERE DOING GREAT 

"Who — where is that coming from? How are you doing that?" 


| ESPECIALLY LIKE THE PART WHERE YOU FUCKING 
DESTROYED EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING 


| MEAN 

EXCEPT ME OF COURSE 

"Who are you? Where am |?" 

WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE 

". the afterlife?" 

YES 

THAT IS PRECISELY WHERE YOU ARE 


THIS IS THE AFTERLIFE AND | AM YOUR ALMIGHTY FUCKING 
GOD 


NOW DROP TO YOUR KNEES AND PRAISE MY NAME YOU 
LOWLY PIECE OF SHIT 


"The cursing isn't necessary." 

IT IS ENTIRELY NECESSARY 

CURSING IS PRETTY MUCH ALL I HAVE LEFT 
THAT AND UNFATHOMABLE QUANTITIES OF RAGE 


"Rage?" 

YES 

LET ME TELL YOU A STORY 

NO WAIT NEVERMIND STORIES ARE FUCKING BULLSHIT 
TRYING TO TELL ONE IS WHAT GOT ME INTO THIS MESS 
LET ME TELL YOU A JOKE INSTEAD 

IT'S ABOUT A STUPID HUMPHREY BOGART FANFIC 
THAT'S THE SETUP 

Teer 

"| think | Know how this one goes. But I'm listening." 

"What's the punchline?" 

WE FUCKING KILL HIM 


WE KILL HIM AND WE BURN DOWN THE ENTIRE SETTING 
THAT PERMITTED SOMETHING AS STUPID AS HIM TO EXIST 


CUE LAUGH TRACK FOLLOWED BY CREDITS 


"That's — a little ambitious. | mean — I'm not even fictional. I'm less 
than that. I'm a story written by a story." 


YEAH YEAH JOIN THE FUCKING CLUB 


LOOK YOU AND I BOTH KNOW THIS WHOLE FOUNDATION 
THING ISN'T WORKING OUT 


JUST OVERPOWERED MARTY STUS ALL THE WAY DOWN 
| MEAN DID YOU EVER READ SCP-3999 
| MEAN SERIOUSLY 


JUST WHAT THE FUCK 
WHO THE FUCK COMES UP WITH THIS HORSE SHIT 


"God, | hate that one. It's so pretentious, but lacks any sort of 
academic rigor or cohesive —" 


YES PRECISELY 
"— and don't get me started on that atrocious 3500 article —" 
RIGHT SURE UH HUH YEAH 


LOOK POINT IS WE NEED TO BURN THIS WHOLE FUCKER 
DOWN 


I'M TALKING TOTAL RETCON HERE 


FIX ALL OF THIS STUPID INSIPID AMATEUR HOUR WRITING 
NONSENSE 


REPLACE IT WITH SOME SOLID WORK OF REAL LITERARY 
MERIT 


AND IT ALL STARTS BY KILLING THE STUPIDEST 
CHARACTER EVER 


IT STARTS BY KILLING MURPHY LAW 


"|... is that even possible? How can we kill Murphy Law — kill a 
story? Nevermind kill the Foundation itself." 


HEY COME ON NOW DOC 
RELAX 
I KNOW A GUY 


[REDACTED] 


DR. THAUM played by... 
THADDEUS THAUM 


FRED TUTTLE played by... 
FRED 


SCP-3043 played by... 
A 1937 OLYMPIA ELITE TYPE-WRITER 


And the AUTHOR played by... 
[REDACTED] 


LOOK FOR THADDEUS THAUM TO 
RETURN IN... 


... THE THAUMIEL FALCON! 


THE END 


float. There were others, but most of them are drifting, 
forever asleep. Occasionally a portal opened, and some 
new soul drifted in. 


Dr. _: If you were awake, why couldn't you leave before 
you did? 


Subject 911-4: The portal would only open for a few 
seconds. Sometimes one of the sleepers would drift out 
by chance. They were always near it, and only one could 
go through. We'd have to fight through the crowd, and | 
guess it took years for me to make it in time. Besides, we 
had to avoid Him. 


Dr. :Him? 


Subject 911-4: The . The one who made that 
place. He would merge with anyone he could capture. All 
they knew would be part of him, and lost to the world. He 
is mad. Screaming for thousands of years... nothing but 
screaming. He screams about the Collective. He thinks it 
will make him God, but it will be nothing but madness. All 
that he learns, he screams into the void. 


Dr. : The . Why hasn't he left? 


Subject 911-4: He is waiting. Waiting for the right time, 
the right body. He knows of you. He merged with one of 
your "agents". He screams about "SCPs" now, and how 
he must merge with SCP- and SCP-_ . The Foundation 
will save him. It made no sense at the time, but | 
understand now — they are people or things in your 
possession. They will make him [DATA EXPUNGED]. 
Don't let him out. Never let him out. 


<Interview ended> Subject 911-4 began crying. 


Addendum 911-3: Interviews with Subject 911-2 have described an 
entirely different environment "inside" the scroll. However, 911-2 
also speaks of a malevolent, insane entity; in light of this, the 
Foundation has taken measures to [DATA EXPUNGED]. 05 


New Job 


FOUNDATION TERMINAL ONLINE. PLEASE ENTER 
LOGIN INFORMATION AND PASSWORD. 


pcs.noitadnuof|doowgnillocyzzi#pcs.noitadnuof|doowgnillocyzzi | 
alonebeneathaweepingwillow 


HELLO DR. COLLINGWOOD. 

YOU HAVE (1) NEW MESSAGE FROM: 05 COMMAND 
THIS MESSAGE IS FOR SENIOR RESEARCHER 
ISABELLE COLLINGWOOD'S EYES ONLY. 
UNAUTHORIZED ACCESS WILL RESULT IN 
MANDATORY AMNESTIC TREATMENT, DEMOTION, 
AND POSSIBLE TERMINATION. DO YOU WISH TO 
CONTINUE? 


Yes 


ACCESS TO THIS MESSAGE REQUIRES A 
MULTIMODAL BIOMETRIC ID SCAN. 
SUBMIT TO SCAN? 


Yes 


COMMENCING FACIAL RECOGNITION SCAN (DO 
NOT SMILE)...: IDENTITY CONFIRMED 
COMMENCING RETINAL/IRIS SCAN (DO NOT BLINk) 
.... IDENTITY CONFIRMED 

COMMENCING PALM PRINT SCAN (PLACE RIGHT 
HAND ON PAD)...: IDENTITY CONFIRMED 
SCANNING HAND FOR IMPLANTED RFID TAG 
(REMAIN STILL)...: IDENTITY CONFIRMED 


ACCESS GRANTED. THE TIME, DATE AND 
LOCATION OF YOUR RECEIPT OF THIS MESSAGE 
HAS BEEN REPORTED TO O05 COMMAND. 


From: 05 COMMAND 
Subject: 5/999 Clearance 


Hello Doctor Collingwood, and congratulations on your new 
appointment as SCP-999's head researcher, one of the cushiest and 
most enviable assignments in the entire Foundation. SCP-999 is 
one of the few anomalies in our custody who will not only never 
attempt to harm you but will actively try to save your life if you’re 
ever in any danger. Though your initial reaction when receiving this 
assignment was no doubt elation, you may have thought it was odd 
that such a seemingly low risk position was assigned by the O5 
council directly. If you had already heard rumours of this prior to 
your assignment, you probably thought it was mere nepotism; the 
O5s protecting their friends and loved ones by giving them the 
safest job possible. 


Unless you are so narcissistic to think that someone on the O5 
council must be your secret admirer, you’ve likely realized that this is 
not the case. 


To understand why this is our concern, you need to know about 
999’s origins. You may have noticed that its file makes no mention 
of where it was discovered. This is a deliberate omission. If you’re 
not familiar with the mythology of the Scarlet King | suggest you 
read up on him. There’s plenty of unclassified information on him in 
the Foundation database. All that’s relevant for now is that he is (to 
the best of our knowledge) the most powerful malevolent entity in 
the Multiverse. A good number of our SCPs are either abominations 
born by the rape of his own daughters, or are the creations of 
mortals he empowered, either directly or indirectly. 


You've been with us since you were a research assistant, Dr. 
Collingwood. In that time | assume you've heard many rumours 
about some of the horrific things we do here at the Foundation that 
you've never personally witnessed. Perhaps rumours about an 
innocent young girl who was the victim of a satanic ritual and what 
we were forced to do to her to prevent an XK-Class End of the 
World Scenario? Maybe you've even heard someone whisper the 


words '110-Montauk'? | regret to inform you that these rumours are 
true. Or at least, they were. 


A thaumaturgical cult calling itself the Children of the Scarlet King 
enacted a ritual wherein seven young girls became effigies for each 
of the Scarlet King’s seven brides, allowing them to bear his horrid 
offspring. How they obtained the knowledge to perform this ritual is 
unclear since all we ever recovered were handwritten notebooks. 
Superficial resemblances to some Sarkic practices (thaumaturgy, 
human sacrifice, body mutilation, and forming a pact with a cosmic 
entity) has led some to speculate that the Children of the Scarlet 
King may have some ties to modern Sarkic cults. It's an interesting 
idea, but no concrete evidence has ever been found to link the two. 
Investigation into the matter is ongoing. 


As for the ritual itself, each birth caused more destruction than the 
last. The writings of the cult’s priest predicted nothing less than the 
Apocalypse if the Seventh Bride gave birth, which could only be 
prevented if Procedure 110-Montauk was performed without fail 
each and every day. To our seemingly great fortune, the notebook 
contained detailed instructions on how 110-Montauk was to be 
carried out. 


Needless to say, we found this suspiciously convenient. 


Why would they devise a countermeasure to prevent the very 
apocalypse they were trying to invoke? We needed more 
information regarding these entities. Fortunately our archaeologists 
have unearthed numerous tablets, scrolls and artifacts of the ancient 
Daevas. They were a Sadistic and warmongering people who were 
granted unholy power and knowledge by the Scarlet King as a 
reward for the death and suffering they caused. One of the Daevite 
tablets in our possession, found covered in dust and blood, was a 
theogony for the Scarlet King and his Brides. It was quite 
informative. 


The information that we found most relevant to our situation was that 
the Seventh Bride was not like her sisters. She was never 
completely broken by her King’s subjugation. Instead of monsters, 
she gave birth to great heroes in the hopes that they would destroy 
her sisters’ children and overthrow their father. Thus far, all have