a/n ooooh how exciting isn't that a hell of a cliffhanger! exciting in 
more ways than one... please rate! 


a/n edit: OKAY i've received a lot of pms and they've really upset me 
and i'd like to address them here. first, apparently fish don't have s*x 
like normal people and they don't have n*pples, and to that i'd like to 
say FR*CK YOU!!!! this is FICTION and i can say WHATEVER | 
WANT because it's not real, i'm an AUTHOR not a BIOLOGYIST. 
second, i've been told that "virgil the goldfish" is a character from 
scp and i say that's stupid, i HATE the scp, i used to like them but 
they hated me and deleted everything i wrote for them even though 
they were good my teacher told me so 


Somethingk-class Scenario, | guess 


They say that the way 

That the world will end 

Is not with a bang, but a whimper 
Or perhaps in frost 

Or perhaps in flame 

Or in some madman’s fit of temper 


What they don't understand 

Is that endings are many 

They've happened so often before 
We've reset this world 

A million times over 

It's getting to be quite a bore 


And each time we do it 

We have to start over 

Though we never quite do so from scratch 
We decide what to keep 

And what to get rid of 

But some things they never quite catch 


See, each time we do this 

We're supposed to forget 

Unless it all happens again 

And so even though 

"We've fixed our mistakes" 

Aren't we doomed before we begin? 


So some of us thought 

"Let's make this a game" 

We've got nothing better to do 

We'll meet and keep score 

Each time we reset 

Should the changes we make, make it through 


We each pick a thing 

That shouldn't quite be 

And slip it in at the start 

It may be quite small 

Or massively silly 

But all of us have taken part 


So when we rejoin 

The next time it's all over 

We discuss and then vote on the winner 
It's not a huge prize 

We just fix in our minds 

In the reset we'll take them to dinner 


The thing is I've realized 

As we keep on going 

And it does fill me with some distress 
Is that each time we do it 

It keeps getting worse 

So are we to blame for this mess? 


| think that this next time 

I'll suggest that we lay off 

And perhaps see if that puts it right 
Though | am disappointed 

| can't change "In the Beginning..." 

To "It Was a Dark and Stormy Night..." 


Sometimes It's Not Funny 


Log from Bluntfiend's Big Boyz Burger Club 


jockjamsvol6 has entered the chat. 

harmpit: yuor a ducking fdool 

lesbian_gengar: Imao what about warren??? they're 
ALL fucking creepys. 

jockjamsvol6: Guys, | got some bad news. 
gaycopmp4: listen andrews super cute it makes up for it 
lesbian_gengar: that's surprisingly het of you, gaycop. 
polaricecraps: cmon buffy rofl normies 

harmpit: im' soryr gcm4 btul iking the trio isr idicoulus 
jockjamsvol6: Shut up about stupid shit for a second, 
fuck. This is bad. 

hetcopogg: ? 

jockjamsvol6: I'm sorry. 

jockjamsvol6: One of our number, one of the young 
ones, killed herself. Dove. chereamie. 

polaricecraps: oh god. that's fuckin horrible. would | 
have known her from anything? 

bones: This is a time of sorrow for us all. She was an 
exemplary human being. | regret that you did not all have 
the opportunity to know her. 

hetcopogg: i was just talking to her the other night. i 
knew her from the trans girl chat. she really was an 
angel. 

gaycopmp4: i knew her from the medical stuff and i was 
always so worried that the janitors would clean her up 
you know she was pretty free with what she could do at 
the planned parenthood and the clinics and fuck 
hetcopogg: i'm sorry guys. i'll be back later. i can't do 
this right now. 

hetcopogg has left the chat. 

lesbian_gengar: it was the parents, wasn't it? 
jockjamsvol6: | didn't hear much, but | think so. 


bluntfiend: | knew her from one of the chats. Sweetest 
girl you ever knew, honest. Jesus Christ. Never knew 
anybody who was just so fucking willing to help. 
gaycopmp4: i know she was so good dove was so 
smart and funny and she really helped me a lot w/ the 
hugbox thing she knew so much about that shit so much 
about the body. 

lesbian_gengar: i didn't get the chance to know her. i 
saw a few things she did. talented girl, honestly. i'll miss 
her. and what she would've done, i guess. 
lesbian_gengar: may her memory be a blessing. what 
do you christians say? 

bluntfiend: | don't remember what we say. 
gaycopmp4: i never know what to say during these 
things im sorry guys 

bones: It is alright. 

bluntfiend: Do we know when the funeral will be? Or, 
the wake? Does she come from a wake family? 
@lesbian_gengar, if you're up to it, | think we should go 
there. | don't want Dove to be buried under another 
name. 

jockjamsvol6: I'll PM you both. 

polaricecraps: is there anything | can do? 
gaycopmp4 has left the chat. 

bones: | think the only suitable option we have at this 
juncture is to mourn. We mourn, and we strive to ensure 
it is never repeated. 

lesbian_gengar: if i need anything, i'll ask. thanks, PIC. 
harmpit: i hope there is some place else she can go 
where she will be happier than she was here, and i hope 
it doesn't take a long time for her to get there. 
bluntfiend: You don't have to pull yourself together like 
that. | don't think she'd be mad if you made typos when 
talking about her. 

harmpit: the least i can give her is my concentration. 
polaricecraps: | wish | had known her. | really do. | 
always meant to talk to her. she seemed so kind. 
bones: @jockjamsvol6, when you receive news of her 
funeral, please send me the address. | wish to provide 
flowers. She enjoyed lilies. 


jockjamsvol6: She'd've really liked that. Thanks, big 
guy. 

bluntfiend: Hey, so. Apropos of nothing, but can we 
change the name? 

lesbian_gengar: no. 

jockjamsvol6: No. 

polaricecraps: | wish there was something | could do. | 
wish the world wasn't like this. why do our best keep dyin 
and the bad fuckers keep on livin? 

bluntfiend: Wish | knew. 


Log from Weedville Population You 


polaricecraps: fuck there's another nazi march thing at 
the campus near my house. | don't even have energy to 
troll. fascists have gotten too fuckin brave. 
orbhorse: its definitely a shitoad world we live in yeah 
polaricecraps: makes me want to fuckin pakoosh the 
living hell out of the whole thing, every last one. 
harmpit: dnot joek about thatt htsa not cool 
rubberbannedman: im super NOT in the mood to talk 
about all this serious shit. 
polaricecraps: fuckin newsflash dudes but we are livin 
in the fuckin serious times. we are livin in the fuckin 
wildstyle bullshit world and you don't get to pretend. 
maybe we can't be all adverse to violence when it's 
fuckin bein done on us! 
harmpit: thsi chat is 1 of the Ighith aerted 1s fora 
reason PIC 
bones: PIC, your passion is being diverted into anger. 
Do not take this out on a comrade. 
kkrule: hey guys come to my twitch im about to start 
playing 
tiedyeduck: no 

Never in a fucking million years 
Kektagon: PM me a link @kkrule 
kkrule: :-) 
bones: Send me a link as well, and | will watch. 
kkrule: !!! thanks bones !!! 
opposum: dont get to into it bones itd be unfair for a 


robot to play LoL 

bones: | will do my best. 

polaricecraps: this isn't a time to calm down. people are 
succumbing to despair and we're watching that stupid 
bernie fuck play some fucking normie ass moba game? 
harmpit: tid oesn't always haev to be gloom n doom 
kkrule: im playing PUBG anyway 

bones: | don't play games. 

polaricecraps: I'm sayin doom n gloom might be what 
we fucking need or else we're no better than liberals. 
harmpit: aer yuo honstely callign me a liberal? 

bones: Calm down, now. Both of you. 

polaricecraps: nazis are marching in our streets and 
people are killing themselves and you want me to fucking 
talk about kkrule streaming some fucking bullshit? 
kkrule: it's a shooting game. 

harmpit: dnot ducking act like ims oem dispasssionate 
observaer im not white ill be killed dont pretend just cuzi 
mnots cremaning allthe tiem doesnt mean i dont care 
FunkoPopFan1 has left the chat. 

bones: | am muting the chat. This is not a productive 
conversation. polaricecraps and harmpit, take this to 
private messages if you must. | suggest that you do not. 
orbhorse: @kkrule did you seriously die already 
polaricecraps: fuck your mute order or wjatever fuck 
this tepid liberalism in the face of a dead comrade. 
polaricecraps has left the chat. 

Kektagon: uh i'm gonna head out i'm too high for how 
serious this shit is getting 

Kektagon has left the chat. 

tiedyeduck: escalated p quick huh 

harmpit has left the chat. 

kkrule: hey guys im in a different game you should all 
comr back!!! 

bones: polaricecraps will be banned from this chat for 
forty-eight hours. This is a second warning. 

opposum: fuck 

talman_corvett: yo im in late but kkrule video games 
suck send me that link let's see you get owned, boy. 
kkrule: :-) kk 


rubberbannedman: well i just got back and jesus im 
SUPER sorry for starting all this shit, bones. 

bones: | do not feel there is any reason you should have 
to feel sorry. 


Log from GAW Mod Talkzone 


bluntfiend: I'm back from Dove's funeral. 
lesbian_gengar: me, too. 

jockjamsvol6: | wish | could've been there. How was it? 
bluntfiend: Not so good at first. Dahlia came with us. 
She wasn't doing so good. 

lesbian_gengar: the monsters were going to bury her in 
a suit. they cut her hair. 

bluntfiend: Nothing a little razzledazzle couldn't fix. We 
brought Dahlia in after. | couldn't let her see Dove like 
that. 

bones: From there, it went smoothly? 

lesbian_gengar: treated her like the woman she'd 
always been. i wanted to fuck with them. 

bluntfiend: | told her that wouldn't be cool. 
lesbian_gengar: bluntfiend had said yeah that it 
wouldn't be cool. dove wasn't about that life. 
jockjamsvol6: | really do wish | could have come. |'ll 
miss her until the day | die. 

bones: We all will in the place where the truth of our 
heart is kept. 

bluntfiend: It was a beautiful mass. Roman Catholic. 
They've loosened stuff about deaths from suicide, you 
know. Dahlia gave a eulogy. | don't know how everyone 
felt about it. 

lesbian_gengar: it was beautiful. 

jockjamsvol6: How'd they take it? 

bluntfiend: Better than they would have if Esther and | 
weren't there, | guess. 

jockjamsvol6: Yeah. 

lesbian_gengar: anyways you shouldve seen jude in his 
big boy clothes. 

jockjamsvol6: No pajama pants? No dirty shirt? 
lesbian_gengar: fucking khakis, dude. 


jockjamsvol6: Lmao when did you get khakis, Jude? 
bluntfiend: | went to a Catholic high school. You guys 
know this. We had uniforms and everything. 
jockjamsvol6: Oh yeah, shit. The pope would've wanted 
you to look slick. That's good. 

bones: | do not mean to intrude upon owning Jude and 
remembering Dove, but | believe there are some things 
that we need to deal with. 

jockjamsvol6: PIC thing? 

bluntfiend: Shit, is he okay? 

bones: Physically unhurt. That is not the issue. 
jockjamsvol6: Got in an argument with harmpit. We 
think Dove's death is getting to him. He's just really 
fucking serious and mean lately. 

bluntfiend: What was it about? 

bones: Mostly, it was about killing. 

lesbian_gengar: what? 

jockjamsvol6: PIC was kind of mad about the whole no 
killing rule. Just got in a big row kinda with harmpit. 
bluntfiend: And Armand didn't let it out? 
lesbian_gengar: they're not an idiot. 

bones: Armand did not reveal any secrets during the 
argument. Their argument was emotional but academic. 
bluntfiend: | know | just had to ask. | think maybe 
someday | should tell them. 

jockjamsvol6: Let's not rush to tell them their pacifist 
hero has a body count. 

lesbian_gengar: don't be a dumbass. 

bluntfiend: I'll talk to PIC, bones. Thanks for dealing 
with it. 

bones: It has never been a problem, and | cannot 
foresee it becoming one. 

jockjamsvol6: He's been banned for a couple days. 
lesbian_gengar: when's it up? 

bones: The ban has timed out. | have not seen him. | will 
notify you if he signs on. 

jockjamsvol6: Think he'll be okay? 

bluntfiend: | don't know. | hope so. Maybe. Probably. 
lesbian_gengar: he'll be fine. 

bluntfiend: Yeah, you're right. 


Subject D-39393 is guilty of multiple incidents of 
embezzlement as an employee of a Foundation cover 
company. 


Dr. Heiden: D-39393, put on the bracelet. 


D-39393: You can't make me do this, you know! I'm a 
citizen of | 


Dr. Heiden: Actually, D-39393, we can, according to the 
terms of your employment agreement. You know, the 
one that you never read because of the big number on 
the first page. 


D-39393: [splutters incoherently] Uh, ah, that doesn't 
mean anything! You still can't do this! I'm a person, not 
cattle for you to use! 


Dr. Heiden: | am aware you are not livestock. Now put on 
the bracelet, and you'll be on your way to repaying the 
$, , you owe. 


D-39393: You never proved that! You can't prove any of 
that! 


Dr. Heiden: D-39393, you will be sedated and the 
bracelet will be placed on you if you continue to resist. 
Now put on the bracelet. 


D-39393: Fuck you! You won't do that, you can't do th- 


[At this point, Foundation security personnel neutralized 
D-39393 with a stun baton and strapped him into the 
chair nearby, waiting until D-39393 regained 
consciousness before placing SCP-943 on his arm.] 


Dr. Heiden: The debt repaid by your participation has 
been reduced by ten percent due to your refusal to 
cooperate, Mr. . Further refusal will result in 
accordingly more severe dockings. Now, tell me how you 
feel. 


Log from a private message between bluntfiend and 
polaricecraps 


polaricecraps: blunt are you there 

polaricecraps: blunt its real bad 

bluntfiend: Hey, | wanted to talk to you. 

polaricecraps: | think | know | killed someone 
bluntfiend: Are you okay? 

polaricecraps: I'm fine | killed someone I'm sorry Jude | 
was talking tough | killed a man 

polaricecraps: | killed a Nazi and | feel dead and | don't 
know what to do 

bluntfiend: Calm down. Tell me what happened. Please. 
polaricecraps: i was att he protes tand | kept thinking of 
Dove and | was looking for a fight | think 

bluntfiend: Near where you live? 

polaricecraps: and he was tkaing a gun out of his 
pocket and | pakoosh 

bluntfiend: Pakoosh? 

polaricecraps: i made the heart disappear out of his 
body. i took it and oblierated it and you don't know but 
their lungs collapse, blunt, and | could feel it | think in my 
throat. 

bluntfiend: And he had a gun? You saw it? 
polaricecraps: it fell out of his pocket. i think he was 
gonna kill people. but what if he just wanted to scare 
someone am | a murderer blunt? don't ban me. 
bluntfiend: I'm not going to ban you. You're not a 
murderer. Calm down. 

polaricecraps: | murdered someone direction definition 
of murderer one who kills 

bluntfiend: | think you did the right thing. 
polaricecraps: yuore lying 

bluntfiend: I'm worried, had | been there, | would have 
hesitated. 

polaricecraps: blunt 

bluntfiend: Want to hear a story, PIC? One the kids 
usually don't get to hear, | guess. 

polaricecraps: what are you fuckin talkin about | killed 
someone and you wanna story 


bluntfiend: When | left them, the art boys, | did kill them. 
| killed a whole swathe of them. 

bluntfiend: Their body was static, and | broke it apart, 
and | pulled it through cords and wire. 

polaricecraps: fuck blunt 

bluntfiend: And | regret it everyday of my life. | think | 
did the right thing. I'd do it again, | think. But it's my sin. 
And | am sure, one day, | will be judged for it. 
polaricecraps: like me 

bluntfiend: Not like you. Nazis don't wave around guns 
unless they plan on using it. But, fuck. 

bluntfiend: Remember this. | want you to always 
remember this.