All further attempts to persuade SCP-3532 into altering its persona 
failed. It was determined that SCP-3532 could only be influenced by 
someone it perceived as having a better understanding of social 
media. In order to successfully alter the online persona of 
SCP-3532, Site-72 authorized the use of social media accounts 
belonging to SCP-3331-Alpha to contact SCP-3532. Dr. Burr was 
instructed to contact SCP-3532 posing as SCP-3331-Alpha and alter 
the entity's perceptions of current social trends. 


> Show Log Burr 3532 02 


@JohnCena: Hey, is this ? 
@ : No, this is his manager. But | can 
forward a message to if you'd like? 


@JohnCena: | was hoping to speak to the big 
man himself... 


@ : Well, Mr. Cena, | think you can be 
trusted! I'll put on. 


@ : Is the stinker lying to me or are you 
john cena 


@JohnCena: Hey, big guy! 
@JohnCena: Yup, it's me! John Cena! 
@ : prove 


[Dr. Burr sends a picture of SCP-3331-Alpha 
holding a sheet of paper reading "Is this proof 
enough al 


@ : oh wow wow hi there sir haaha and 
what can i do for you ? 


@JohnCena: Well, thats kind of why | 
contacted you... 


@JohnCena: I've been a long time fan of your 
stuff, and the thing is.. Well... 


@ : what 


@JohnCena: Well, you just aren't as cool as 
you used to be. 


@JohnCena: But | can help you. | know some 
secrets. 


@ : please lord cena tall me 


@ : ill do anyhting jus please i must be 
cool 


@JohnCena: Haha! Don't worry! I'll even tell 
you for free!... 


Extraneous dialogue redacted. Dr. Burr 
proceeds to list SCP-3532 a collection of 
strategies designed to ruin the entity's 
public image. 


Following the dialogue, SCP-3532 instructed Dr. Burr to follow the 
advice from the SCP-3331-Alpha account regarding the social 
media accounts, to which Dr. Burr complied. Within two months, the 
number of visitors to SCP-3532 run accounts had dropped by 95%. 
At this point, GOI-3532-2 retracted its representation of SCP-3532 in 
accordance with the company's contract. SCP-3532 attempted to 
contact other social media managing companies seeking 
representation but to no avail. On 7/18/18, SCP-3532 made one 
final post to all of its accounts, reading "i just wanted followers 
againn" before deleting the accounts shortly after. No new accounts 
or posts or have been observed since. 

Footnotes 

1.See Addendum A. 

2.Hereby referred to as GOI-3532-1. 

3.See Addendum B. 

4.Hereby referred to as GOI-3532-2. 

5.Hereby referred to as POI-3532-1. 

6.File designated 'Recovered Document 3532 24a’. 

7.While this clause is not unique to Recovered Document 3532 24a, 
its inclusion allowed for current containment procedures and 
Procedure 24-Lehonot to be established. 


SCP-3533: Metaphysiclean! 


Item #: SCP-3533 
Object Class: Euclid 


Special Containment Procedures: Upon their manifestation and 
detection, instances of SCP-3533 are to be sequestered from all 
affected businesses and stored in standard nonliving storage units 
within the Site-19 anomalous items warehouses. Knowledge of 
SCP-3533's existence is mostly self-contained and therefore only 
minor actions must be taken upon their manifestation. These events, 
referred to as "Restocking Events", are carried out on an uneven 
monthly schedule that is to be monitored by stationed Foundation 
agents under strict Class-W Mnestic treatment regimens and 
reported immediately. This schedule is known to be influenced by 
the value of the stock" "1! and plans are underway to mitigate or 
reduce awareness of said stock in order to slowly decline the 
frequency and quantity of Restocking Events in the future. 


Description: SCP-3533 is the collective designation for an 
antimemetic household detergent spray titled "Metaphysiclean|". 
SCP-3533 will soontaneously appear on shelves of big-box stores 
and other retail corporations in the United States, although their 
presence will go largely unnoticed by roughly 98% of observers not 
on Class-W Mnhestic regimens, often appearing as empty portions of 
shelves without apparent cause. It is believed that SCP-3533's 
antimemetic properties are not an intended feature of their design 
but a result of their other anomalous properties (See Addendum 
3533.3). 


SCP-3533 is conceptually vague due to the properties of 
"Metaphysiclean!" and therefore can be referred to by its brand 
name, contents or structure at any given point and not be incorrect. 
The liquid that comprises SCP-3533 is indeterminate, as testing that 
does not alter the functionality of the GCMS equipment yields results 
that suggest the substance is conceptually recursive.2 


When SCP-3533 is sprayed onto a surface or a number of surfaces, 
the respective components become conceptually vague for up to 72 
hours.3 During this period, they will gradually revert to their original 
state unless more is applied; repeated exposure to SCP-3533 has 
shown to permanently mesh the concepts of whatever it is sprayed 
on, becoming increasingly ill-defined with latter applications. 
SCP-3533 will evaporate from applied surfaces and is not detectable 
after this time frame. 


SCP-3533 is supposedly manufactured by " ",anon-existent 
subsidiary of S. C. Johnson and Son.4 The address of the factory 
that produces SCP-3533 (Designated LOI/POI-3533) is found on the 
labels of all instances. The location was traced to an abandoned lot 
in [REDACTED], which upon closer inspection, was actually a fully 
functional factory operating under antimemetic camouflage, likely 
the same effect expressed by SCP-3533 itself. While on mnestic 
drugs, LOI/POI-3533 appears nondescript externally, however, its 
interior has been permanently converted into an extradimensional 
space that is defined as the interior of the factory, SCP-3533, Frank 
Miller, supervisor, several other employees and 18 other concepts 
including the concept of ennui and the concept of paid overtime 
(See Addendum 3533.2). According to LOI/POI-3533, this was due 
to a large spill of SCP-3533 that occurred in 1998 that, while having 
little effect on the output quantity of SCP-3533, was considered "an 
abstract administrative nightmare." 


Addendum 3533.1: Experimentation Logs 
+ access 3533 _expr.log 
SCP-3533 Experimentation Log 


Note: Testing was carried out in the Site-19 
Experimentation Wing under supervision of Dr. 
H. Alexander, three D-Class personnel and a 
team of five random foundation personnel to 
observe effects. 


Test # Pretace Resuits Notes 
3533-1 D-9765 Mirror did /t seems 
instructec not appear SCP-3533 


S: “Oh, relax, big boy... you've been on-deck for over 
thirty seconds, you already beat the last team's time!” 


<Radio silence for ten seconds. Team proceeds to the “cabin” area 
near the center section of SCP-455, with Marv 2 following at sea 
level.> 


D-11: “Oh no, hell no, not a chance. You can shoot my 
happy ass, but | am NOT going down there.” 


K: “It's not a request. Walk, or be strapped to the Marv 
and floated. Your choice.” 


D-11: “...what a bullshit way to make parole...” 


A: “Okay kiddos, masks on. Rats, canned air from here 
out. R, is your seal still good? Let me check...good. G, 
get those tanks on D-11...” 


<Team proceeds down the main stairwell of the cabin area. Area 
below is mostly flooded. Marv 2 joins team via a large puncture 
below the waterline.> 


A: “Nothing weird yet...We have a small chamber, with 
halls off to left and right. Marv 2 appears to be working 
fine...Hi guys!” 


S: “I say left...Left keeps us in the ship proper...right 
seems to be snaking off outside physical dimensions...” 


K: “We go right. We are under advisement to explore the 
extra-dimensional segments for possible details.” 


S: “No, we go left. Right will take us down the rabbit hole 
of screwed much, much too fast.” 


K: “This is not a discussion.” 
S: “Listen asshole, I-” 


D-11: “The fuck is-” 


3533-2 


to apply € cleaner of might have 
small less a partially 
quantity cf smudged, subjective 
SCP-3533 Upon nature. 
to mirror in further Further 
testing analysis,| testing is 
chamber) affected required. - 
and wipe, portion of Dr. 
with paper mirror had Alexander 
towel. taken on 

the pleated 

texture of 

the paper 

towel used 

and one 

observer 

insisted the 

area was 

indeed 

paper towel 

as well as 

a mirror. 
D-9765 Affected | Confirms 
instructec areawas| the 
to liberally unanimousl¢quivocal 
spray describeo nature of 
SCP-3533 as both the SCP-3533. 
on the mirror and / found 
edge of thethe wall myself 
mirror and behind it,| rather 
the wall | although astonished 
adjacent jo three that the 


it and 


researcherswall had 


refrain fromexpressed takenona 


using a 
paper 
towel. 


difficulty | rather 
distinguishinegflective 
between | sheen. 
the two. | Curious, 
indeed. - 


Dr. 


3533-3 


3533-8 


Aiexander 


D-9765 | Allfive This might 
instructec personnel be my 
to painta) agreed that favorite 
blue the center project thus 
square on wasnot | far. Quitea 
the wall of purple but unique 
the testing in fact both anomaly. | 
chamber, redand _ think! 
then pain; blue. might put in 
a red Filtered a formal 
square eye-wear| request to 
next to it, was the 
and supplied | Conceptual 
liberally | and Division 
apply revealed once this is 
SCP-3533 that the all over 
to the concept cf with. - Dr. 
connected the filtered Alexander 
portion of color was 
the wet still visible 
paint. for two 

observers. 
D-9765 Mouse This stuff 
instructec unable to) hasa 
to liberally move from bizarre 
spray the area for 58 reaction to 
coat of orje hours, biological 
white lab} although | /ife.6 I'm 
mouse® | subject did putting in a 
andthe — not expressrequest for 
table itis) any another D- 
on. discomfort Class now. 


during this - Dr. 
process. | Alexander 
Table 

confirmed 

to also be 

comprised 

of mouse, 


3533-13 


D-9765 
instructec 
to apply 
SCP-3533 
to one 
finger and 
touch 
D-1954 on 
the 
forearm. 


and the 
subject 
reacted to 
stimuli on 
affected 
portion of 
table. One 
researcher 
claims 
subject 
appears 
more 
“table-like”. 
D-Class 
unable to 
separate more to 
for 54 say except 
hours. Boththat | can't 
subjects | wait to do 
expressed more tests. 
that they | - Dr. 

could feel Alexander 
sensations 

of 

surrounding 

areas of 

skin up to 

8cm from 

contact 

area, as 

well as a 

vague 

sense of 

ego-loss.’ 

Four 

observers 

insisted 

connected 

portion 

could be 


Fascinating, 
Not much 


3533-14 


D-9765 
instructec 
to apply 
SCP-3533 
liberally to 
hand and 
place palm 
on 
D-1954's 
forehead. 


both 
D-9765 or 
D-1954, 
and one 
claimed 
D-9765 
and 
D-1954 
were the 
same 
person 
entirely. 
D-Class 
unable to 
separate 
for 66 
hours. 
Removal 
was 


| don't care 
what the 
other two 
say, for 
almost 
three days 
there was 


accomplishemhly one D- 


with minor 
tearing of 
D-9765's 
epidermis 
at contact 
site, the 
remains of 


Class in 
that room. 
I'll prove it. 
Putting ina 
request for 
a third D- 
Class. - Dr. 


which were Alexander 


easily 
removable 
one hour 
later. Both 
D-Class 
complained 
of intrusive 
thoughts 
anda 
complex 
loss of self- 
identity and 


3533-15 


non-loss of 

self-identity 

at the 

same 

time.6 
D-9765 After 60 | I've got an 
and hours, only idea. Let 
D-1954 one D- me draw 
instructec Class was up the 
to interlock present in paperwork. 


arms while testing - Dr. 
D-3472 chamber} Alexander 
applied with 

SCP-3533 D-3472. It 

to the could not 


connected be 

area every determined 

twelve if they were 

hours. D-9765 or 
D-1954, so 
the subject 
was 
designated 
D-3533. 
D-3533 
responded 
to D-9765, 
D-1954 
and 
D-3533, 
but could 
not 
accurately 
define if 
they were 
simultaneously 
either 
personnel, 
an 
amalgamation 


3533-17 


Large 
surface of 
testing 
chamber 
wall 
doused 
with 
SCP-3533. 
SCP-2719 
applied tc 
area. 


of the two, 

or both. CT 

scans 

show that 

D-3533 has 

one 

circulatory 

and 

nervous 

system, but 

two brains. 

D-3533 

cannot be 

separated 

into two 

individuals 

and has 

been 

contained 

for study. 

SCP-2719 I'mon the 
previously fence 
defined about 
inside as| where / 
SCP-2719'sstand with 
containmenthis one. 
SCP-3533 tomorrow 
and I'll try 


SCP-2719 sending 
became | D-3472 into 
inside. the space. 
D-3472 - Dr. 
could not} Alexander 
accurately 

state 

whether or 

not 

SCP-3533 

or 


SCP-2719 


became 
inside, or 
whether 
SCP-2719 
had 
defined 
SCP-3533 
as inside 
and if 
SCP-3533 
had also 
taken on 
the 
properties 
of 
SCP-2719. 
Surface 
appeared 
concave to 
two 
observers, 
although 
they could 
not say 
where the 
affected 
area led to, 
or if it led to 
any place 
at all other 
than inside. 
The other 
three 
observers 
claimed 
surface 
was simply 
acting as 
the concept 
of inside 


and did not 
lead 
anywhere. 
3533-18 | Large [DATA None 
surface of EXPUNGED]. 
testing SCP-2719 
chamber) redefined 
doused inside as 
with SCP-3533 
SCP-3533. only. 
SCP-2719 Testing 
applied tc confirms 
area and| traces of 
D-3472 D-3472 in 
instructec other 
to enter bottles of 
affected | SCP-3533. 


area if Testing 
possible... suspended 
indefinitely. 


Note: Following this test Dr. Alexander applied for Class- 
C Amnestic application. Request denied. 


Addendum 3533.2: LOI/POI-3533 Interaction 
+ access LOI-POI-3533_expl-intvw.log 
Interaction with LOI/POI-3533 


Preface: LOI/POI-3533's condition was not 
fully Known at the time of first contact. Field 
agents Markus Pierce and Elizabeth Carden 
were given a Class-W Mnhestic regimen for 
three days leading up to investigation of the 


property. 


<BEGIN LOG> 


Command: Alright, you two. Move out. 


Pierce: Okay, earpiece is functioning. Carden 
and | are approaching the factory limits now. 
Doesn't look like anything out of the ordinary 
just yet. Carden, you want to confirm that for 
me? 


Carden: Yeah, looks just fine out here. 
Windows are clouded up with what looks like 
dust, not going to be easy to see inside. | just 
say we look for an entrance and go on in. If we 
see anyone, we question them. If they're 
hostile, we book it. 


Pierce: Sounds like a plan. Even though this 
place looks pretty old, almost decrepit, | think | 
see some steam venting from out over the 
west perimeter. And there's a hum, | can 
definitely hear it out here. 


Carden: So, it's still in business. Wonder what 
kind of company we'll find inside. 


Pierce: My guess is that it is automated. No 
One comes in or out. Quiet now. [hushed] 
Command, we have visual on the front 
entrance. Ingress should be trivial, but we 
brought a crowbar just in case. 


Command: Roger that. Be careful. 


The two are silent for ten seconds, the sounds 
of quick footsteps on asphalt can be heard in 
the background. After a moment, they stop. 


Pierce: Oh, door's unlocked. Here we go. 


The door creaks loudly as the sounds of 
machinery and commotion fill the space. 


Carden: What exactly am | looking at here? 


Pierce: Control, we have a bit of a situation. 


LOI/POI-3533: Hello there. 
Carden: Who said that? 
Command: What is it? 


LOI/POI-3533: It's been years since someone 
came in here. Are you with corporate? 


Pierce: [to Command] I'm not exactly sure 
what this is. It definitely is the inside of the 
factory, but, uh, it's also a bunch of other 
things. 


LOI/POI-3533: I'm right here, you know. 
Carden: So you're... the factory? 


LOI/POI-3533: I'm Frank Miller, supervisor of 
this manufacturing plant. | also can't 
leave. What? Yes- and, yes, there are a few 
others in here as well. There's Trudy, Jacobs, 
Karen, Michael, Richard- 


Pierce: I'm sorry, but where are these people?