Lathma/Mental_Health_Conversation_Dataset huggingface dataset:
Question: My boyfriend can't get over my promiscuous past. He says he loves me  but says the thought of my past is disgusting and a sexual distraction. He says he should have had more sex with different people. I don't know how to handle this.

Answer: I am sorry to hear of your relationship struggles. One thing I wonder is did you volunteer the information about your past or is this something that he asked about?  In the future, it is probably best to leave details out of conversations like this.  I think it is common and natural for partners to ask about the sexual history.  For one thing, it is a good idea to be checked for STD’s before entering into a sexual relationship with someone, and it is fair to share that information with each other.  Partners usually want to know how many you have been with and what kind of sexual preferences you have or if there is anything you don’t like to do.  This gets into a gray area for some people.  I don’t necessarily want to know how many people my partner has been with and I certainly don’t want a whole lot of details.  Sometimes that is an image I just don’t want in my head about my partner.  Vague details are usually enough.However, I understand that your partner has the details and is not happy with your past.  This is a reflection on him, not you.  This shows insecurities on his part.  You cannot control how he will react to information that you provide to him and you cannot control how he feels about the information.  The past should remain in the past and not be held against you in the present or future.   If he cannot handle your past then it is going to cloud your relationship.  You can offer couples counseling to him and see if he will go with you.  I have seen relationships recover from some very serious problems such as infidelity.  It takes two people who both want it to work to make it work though. If your boyfriend cannot get over your past, you may have to let him go.  Don’t keep yourself tied to someone who is not right for you.  Constantly holding your past over your head and holding that against you is only going to bring you down and eventually you may start having insecurities or low self-esteem due to this type of treatment. I don’t see that you have done anything wrong.  If you aren’t cheating on him now and you answered his questions about your past honestly, how he handles that information is on him.  Ultimately, relationships have a tendency to come and go. Don’t fight to hold onto someone who is not right for you.  It is okay to be single and enjoy being the best you that you can be.  In time, the right person for you will enter your life.
Question: My dad refuses to acknowledge my anxieties about going to parties, dinners, etc. Whenever I have an opinion it gets shut down. My mom and everyone else behaves likewise. For my father who heads a company, this is normal. He has to be right all the time. He blatantly refuses to even try to see it from my angle. 

Recently however, it's been getting to the point where I feel pressured and unable to speak my mind. It isn't possible for me to get professional one-on-one help. He tells me to grow a pair and get over it. I recently have been developing more severe body image and self-confidence issues, which I have had all my life. I feel invalidated by my dad.  I have been more paranoid lately as well. I can't turn on location services anymore on my phone because of a past incident. He makes me feel guilty about it.  I feel rather worthless more often than not, unfortunately.  What do I do?

Answer: I'm sorry to hear that you are unable to get through to your parents. It sounds like you are experiencing a great deal of anxiety that needs to be addressed by a professional (despite the fact that you are unable to at the moment). I would recommend talking with another adult such as a  school counselor that can offer you support in this area. Perhaps they can work with you on your anxiety issues and schedule a meeting with your parents so that he/she may help mediate the conversation with them.If you are unable to reach out to a school counselor maybe you can try a member of the family such as an aunt or an uncle that feels comfortable addressing the issue with your parents. Sometimes it helps hearing it from a third party before the situations is taken seriously enough.Good luck!
Question: I'm a 40 year old male and having erection problems. Still have the desire for a woman. Awfully frustrated. Any suggestions? My Doc doesn't want to discuss it.

Answer: Hi there, first off I have to commend you for reaching out. It takes a lot for a man to reach out for help when it comes to erection problems. Believe it or not, this problem is very common for men and women. There are some things that you can try naturally, before resulting in medication, such as your eating habits and exercise. I would suggest taking a look at what you are consuming throughout the day. Do you consume a healthy diet and do you exercise regularly? How much caffeine and sugar do you intake daily?  These are just a few common things to look at. You would be surprised of how much pressure what we consume puts on our bodies. Our bodies are like a car. You have to maintenance it, in order for it to continue to run. If you would like to get further natural advice and/or suggestions on eating healthy and exercising, I would recommend you see a nutritionist. A nutritionist specializes in maintaining a healthy diet. As far as your Doctor, I would recommend looking into getting another Doctor. I have never heard of a medical professional not wanting to talk about anything. That appears to be a personal issue on their part. I hope I was helpful and I wish you the best of luck!
Question: I feel like I would be more comfortable as a girl even though I still like girls. I think I'm like a girl stuck in a guy body. I imagine myself as a girl too. I think this more because my friends say that if I was a girl I would be a hot looking one. And I don't care about having boobs or anything. I just feel like the way that I do act will make more sense if I was a girl.

Answer: I understand that gender and/or sexual identity crises can be very difficult to navigate, although in today’s time I think we have made a lot of progress and it is becoming easier for individuals to find themselves and also find acceptance from society.I am unsure how old you are.  If you are a child or teenager, this is a normal time to have identity questions and to be in a phase where you are trying to figure out who you are and what you want out of life.  I hope that you have understanding and supportive friends and family that you can talk to and who will support you in how you feel and what you may decide to do.  A lot of people, unfortunately, do not, and if this is the case then it makes it harder for you.  Because then you may not feel safe exploring these feelings and decisions.I urge you not to try to make any permanent changes for quite some time.  By this I mean a sex change.  Anything permanent like surgery or hormone replacement to change your actual gender is something that does not need to be done lightly.  Please find a therapist that can help you explore your feelings and your identity crisis.  Of course there are things that you can do that are not permanent changes.  Many people decide to dress like their gender of choice.  Maybe experimenting in this way is something that you could do.See if you have a local chapter of PFLAG in your area. PFLAG stands for Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays.  They are able to help not only with those who identify as lesbian or gay, but also transgendered and asexual. I wish you all the best in your identity crisis.  It would be very easy for you to sink into depression if you do not have good support and understanding from those around you during this time.  Find a professional that can help, especially if you experience depression or any thoughts of harming yourself.
Question: I've have lived for sometime with depression but things have gotten a lot better, but why is it so hard to get over anxiety and social isolation?

Answer: The best way to handle depression and anxiety is with a combination of appropriate medication given to you by a medical doctor, and therapy to help you understand the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that are causing the depression and anxiety in the first place and then to replace these with more positive thoughts and behaviors.  This is not something that anyone should just “white knuckle” and try to get through on their own with no help.  Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is a technique that has been proven helpful for depression and anxiety.  This takes a therapist trained in CBT. There are some things in life that you cannot change and must learn to accept.  A lot of people spend time trying to change things that they have no control over.  This may be the behavior of someone else in your life or it could be a situation that you cannot change, such as the recent death of a loved one, a lost relationship, or an accident or illness which has left you handicapped.  In cases like this, what can change is your attitude and thoughts about the situation that you now find yourself in.  One thing that is inevitable about life is that stuff happens and it is not always pleasant. Some people take these unpleasant occurrences very hard and it throws them into a deep depression.  Other people seem to be able to handle life’s ups and downs and bounce back.  They do this with having positive coping skills in their life.  Learning new coping skills is something your therapist can help you with.A lot of people are so focused on trying to change the things in their life that they cannot change and are ignoring the things that they can change.  There are things that you can do.  Here is a quote for you to consider.  “You are getting almost everything that you are getting based on the choices that you have made.  You will continue to get the same thing out of life until you make some changes.”  Another quote I like is “You will find a way or you will find an excuse.”  Don’t ever say that you have no choice.  Everyone has a choice.  You might not particularly like any of the choices that you are facing, but you do have choices.  Not happy in a relationship?  You can leave it.  Hate your job?  Get a new one.  If it matters to you, you will find a way.  Don’t sit there complaining about everything but not doing anything different or better.Take care of yourself.  Exercise is very important not only for your physical health, but for your mental health as well.  Eating right and exercising will help you feel better about yourself.  Also, find a meditation that works for you.  There are progressive muscle relaxation exercises, visual and mental meditations, and many many more.  Start making some positive changes in your life today!  You can do it!
Question: Hello, I have a cousin in my family who has been making me feel belittled, insecure, and frustrated during her stay here in the city. I know she comes from a place of love, but she has always been short-fused and highly temperamental if something doesn't work out the way she planned it. I have tried my best to coordinate plans with her, but she always ends up frustrated about the lack of communication I seem to have on my part and then makes condescending comments about my character that include: inconsiderate, negative, oblivious, and self consumed. 

I have tried to talk to her openly about this, but it always comes back as an attack on my character and I have never heard these comments from anyone else before. I have been thinking a lot about her comments and whether I truly am an inconsiderate person who is not thoughtful, spatially aware of surroundings/people, or positive, but in the end, I am feeling awfully hurt about how this has affected our relationship. 

What can I do?

Answer: Do you have a close friend or relative who's opinion you trust? Ask them for their honest feedback and if they see you like your cousin does. If they don’t see these qualities in you, then it may be your cousin’s issue and she’s taking it out on you. You can always ask her what would be the best way to communicate plans with her so you know, specifically, what she is expecting. Then if you meet these expectations and she still blames you and comments on how inconsiderate you are, it's her issue and she is not coming from a place of love.Even if you do resemble her comments, the way it sounds like she approaches this problem is not out of love. The fact that you're introspective enough to consider your own behavior suggests the problem is not with you.
Question: I have a child with my baby mother. She works I take care of our young son. She says she is not cheating I have not found anything but she always putting me down, telling me to get out and telling me she doesn't love me, but then the next day after our fight she says she does. I'm having a hard time because before our child she said she was raped by a family member but she never went to the hospital or the cops. Now me and my family don't talk. She's always telling me I'm annoying and just belittles me. Nothing I do is right.

She says I work you watch the baby. On her days off she never cooks or cleans. I have no friends or family and a couple months ago she was confiding to some guy, but says he's not any thing to her. What do I do? I don't want to leave.

Answer: It sounds like you are in a tough situation. You have to ask yourself why you don't want to leave her. Is it because of the child? Or is it because you want the relationship to work? You must consider that being in an abusive relationship is not healthy for you or your child. So if the abuse continues, it would be more beneficial for you and your child to move out.On the other hand, if you are just wanting the relationship to work out despite its current state, you need to evaluate whether the relationship is worth salvaging. It seems as though you are very unhappy and undervalued in this relationship. Although your question revealed just a short bit of information, I didn't read about any positives in the relationship. Sometimes it's extremely hard to leave a relationship even though you know that the relationship itself is harmful for you. However, with time and focus you can do it. Each day will get a little easier and you have to trust yourself that you are making the right situation for you and your child.However, if you really feel that you want to stay in the relationship, you have to be upfront with her. You need to tell her exactly how you feel and give her specific examples of how she is hurting you. This gives her a chance to render the situation. If after this there is no improvement, I suggest that you start reconsidering your decision to stay.I also think it would be valuable for you to start engaging in things outside of the home that make you happy. Are there any hobbies you enjoy? Are there any groups in the area that you can join such as playgroups that will allow you to engage with other parents? Start looking into these options and finding an avenue for you to do something for your own benefit.It is certainly not healthy for you to isolate yourself from friends and family. You need to have additional support networks besides the one with your girlfriend, especially since this has not been a healthy environment lately.Thank you for reaching out. I wish you the best of luck with your relationship.
Question: Or how to send him somewhere that can help him, something like The Baker Act.

Answer: More information would be needed for me to accurately answer this question, such as your age, whether you live with your dad or not, and what other family members live in the household. Something like this, alcoholism, is a whole family disease.  In other words, family members often unknowingly contribute to the alcoholism and enable the alcoholic to continue the destructive behavior.First of all, you can’t make your dad do anything, and constantly nagging him or begging him to stop is just going to make him defensive and make this worse.  Nobody can change another person.  What you can do is change how you react to him and the things that you and other family members do for him. Research codependency.  There’s a great book called Codependent No More.  There are a lot of articles on the internet that you can read.  In short, you have to stop enabling him.  Like I said, you cannot control him, but you can control yourself.  This means do not buy his alcohol.  Do not make it easy for him to get.  Don’t loan him the car keys or pay any household bills for him.  Don’t call in sick to work for him or make excuses for him in any way.  Do not bail him out of jail when he gets arrested. He needs to be responsible for himself. This may mean losing his job or losing his driver’s license. This may mean that he loses his family if he doesn’t stop. What you and your family can do is set boundaries about what you will put up with.  It is his choice to drink, but it is your choice to put up with the behaviors of his drinking.  A lot of people go into rehab because their spouse said if they don’t then they are getting a divorce.If you are an adult and you don’t live with your dad, then the best thing you can do for him is STOP doing things for him.  If you are a child who lives at home with him, then this could be a case for child protective services. In my state this is called DHS.  A report is made to this organization for child abuse or neglect.  Substance abuse in the home qualifies.  Of course, alcohol is legal and when consumed in moderation, there is no problems.  The problem will be the result of his alcohol consumption.  Does he drive with children in the car while intoxicated?  Is he left to care for minors while in an intoxicated state?  Are there any domestic violence issues due to his drinking?  This could be a reason for the authorities to step in. You can look for a local meeting for family members of alcoholics.  They are similar to the AA meetings that an alcoholic should go to, but are for the family members.  They can help you.
Question: I don't know what's wrong with me. At times I can be really happy, excited, I'll talk fast, and I want to do things. But lately I've been staying up way later and sleeping too much. I don't hang out with friends, I don't really have them. I feel nothing, worthless. I want to do nothing, I have no interest in anything. 

All I usually do is stay in my room. I want to be happy, I want to be nice. What's wrong with me?

Answer: I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling as if you're in a slump. First of all, nothing is wrong with you. Many people report similar symptoms. Have you ever talked with a physician regarding your symptoms? Two extreme emotions such as feeling extremely happy and then feeling extremely low for a length of time may indicate a mood disorder. I think it would be best to talk with your doctor or a therapist to help pinpoint the issue causing them.It's possible that it could just be certain stressors in your life that are causing the two extremities but you definitely want to rule out any mental health issues. If it is in fact mental health related there are many medications or therapy choices that can help. Thanks for reaching out! I hope that you will feel back on track soon!
Question: I'm worried I should see a therapist due to past events and current mental status. I'm just so unsure of how to ask my doctor about seeing someone.

Answer: Thanks for your question. I'm glad you realize that you need extra support and are being proactive. Simply explain to your doctor the feelings you have been experiencing and how you feel that speaking with a mental health therapist would be beneficial. However,  keep in mind that you do not have to go into detail about your personal feelings. You can simply state that you are feeling down, overwhelmed, stressed, or whatever it may be. I'm sure your doctor will be glad to direct you from there. Best of luck you you! I hope that you will be feeling better soon!
Question: I'm worried I should see a therapist due to past events and current mental status. I'm just so unsure of how to ask my doctor about seeing someone.

Answer: Having this kind of conversation with a doctor can feel difficult.  But remember, you are the expert on you.  Any good medical professional will recognize that.You are absolutely right to think about the importance of being your own health care advocate.  Generally, the best approach is simply to be honest.  Let your doctor know what you are concerned about and tell your doctor what you think might help.  If there is a specific issue that you’d like to address in counseling, let you doctor know about it.  And don’t hesitate to directly ask for a referral.I know this may all feel a little overwhelming.  It might help to bring a family member or significant-other with you to provide support when you talk to your doctor.  It’s great that you’ve already taken this first step to reach out.  You’re on the right track.
Question: My last relationships have ended horribly. They just up and abandoned me. One of them I have never gotten closure with over it, leaving me emotionally wrecked. I know something's wrong with me but I don't know how to even start trying to better myself.
I get into these depressed like states whenever anyone I care about is too busy to be with me. I know that I shouldn't act like that because people are genuinely busy, but I feel like they're doing it just because they don't want to be around me.

Answer: Frequently when working with clients, I utilize the A-B-C model developed by Albert Ellis, the founder of Rational Emotive Behavior Theory. The theory basically states that you can not control an event but you can control your reaction to the emotions associated with said event. For instance here is an example:A (Action or Event): You need to talk to someone and that person is not calling you back.B (Behavior or Response): You begin to tell yourself that this person is too busy for me or I am not important to this person.C (Consequence): You feel depressed.If you look at the model, B has a direct effect on C. The thought is if you change your reaction to A, then C will have a better consequence, such as:A: stays the same.B (this is what you change): This person must be busy, they will call me back when they get a chance or I can call someone else to lean on for support until this person is available.C: Decreased feelings of depression & overall functioning improves.This is just an example but if you actively work to replace the negative thought patterns that effect your behavior, studies show that your overall outlook and mood will improve. If this model resonates with you, I recommend "Feeling better, getting better, staying better" by Alber Ellis. In addition, looking for support groups in your area are a great source of support when you are feeling abandoned or alone.
Question: I've been with my boyfriend over 3 years. He cheated on me and the woman is now pregnant. He is physically and mentally abusive towards me. I have attempted to talk with him in order to resolve our issues; however, he never wants to talk and often blames me for everything.
I’m always there when he needs my help. He tells me although I help him doesn’t mean that I am a good person. He always discredits me as a woman and it’s hurtful. I spend most day crying and feeling lonely. I am unhappy and unsure of what I need to do.

Answer: That sounds like a very hurtful situation. Unfortunately, without a batterers intervention course or a desire to change, the abuse cycle is unlikely to stop. I do not recommend that you try to leave on your own due that being the most dangerous time when in an abusive relationship. As an abuser, his goal is to control you whether it's through mental or verbal means. I recommend that you contact a domestic violence shelter in your area. I have worked closely with Harbor House of Central Florida and know they provide housing, transportation, and any other needed resources to women leaving an abusive relationship. There is help out there and you are not alone. If you need any additional resources in your area, please don't hesitate to contact me.