Lathma/Mental_Health_Conversation_Dataset huggingface dataset:
Question: Back in high school, my friend and I used to masturbate around each other. I hate even talking about it now because it's so weird. We didn't even realize how messed up it was at the time. One time, it escalated and we ended up doing it for each other. It wasn't supposed to be a gay thing, but it sure sounds like it now that I talk about it. I pushed this away until it recently came up in my head again. I'm having a lot of trouble.

Answer: Writing about your high school masturbation times with your friend, is itself a form of acknowledging the full picture of who you are.   You are doing well to reflect on your actions in the truthful way you are doing.Also positive is that you have perspective, that at your age and social maturity, you were innocently doing something that in adult terms, would be considered in a negative way.Maybe through your more mature mind's eye of today, you can feel some compassion and understanding for your high school self.  This way your sense of self-judgment may start to dissolve a little bit more.
Question: These "jokes" are made about everything. They seem to have the need to say something "funny" about everything. It's not funny, just awkward.

Answer: I agree, it is awkward when people make jokes about subjects which may not be funny at all.  And, if a person only jokes, then after laughing and realizing the person has nothing of themselves to offer, this can also be quite tedious.Realize that you are more aware of human interaction having many levels of expression.  You could start avoiding people who irritate you by the way they behave.
Question: My best friend and I were pranking her friend, and I told her to tell him that she likes him. She said no, but I forced her. After she told him, he told her that he likes her too. Their friendship is ruined because of me. She won't forgive me, and I feel really guilty. I feel like crying.

Answer: In order for your friend to forgive you she'd need to trust you understand the damage you introduced into her relationship with her friend.Its possible if you offer your friend expressions of your empathy toward her  over an extended time, possibly she'll forgive you.You're certainly learning relationship lessons on how to treat people and the effect of betraying another person, which will last forever.Maybe this was meant to be the outcome.
Question: My best friend and I were pranking her friend, and I told her to tell him that she likes him. She said no, but I forced her. After she told him, he told her that he likes her too. Their friendship is ruined because of me. She won't forgive me, and I feel really guilty. I feel like crying.

Answer: This takes time. I don't know how long it has been, but perhaps if your friend is willing to discuss other things with you for a little while, you could discuss this at some point in the future.Hopefully the true intentions will become apparent (in the idea that it was a prank).Also, I encourage you to look at how this is affecting you and how you feel about yourself as well. If it was meant to be a joke and it did not work, that is not entirely your fault.I wonder how you could forgive yourself for what happened?Are you able to seek what you meant to do compared to what actually happened?Do you notice that not everything that has happened here is in your control?Do you recognize that even though you would like things to be better, if your friend is not ready or willing, you are trying to do your part to make it right?Maybe everyone who is/was involved in this can talk together all at the same time to set straight what is truth and what was misunderstood.I wonder if you can think of your own positive attributes (for example: honesty, compassion, trustworthiness, friendship, good listener, caring) and look at what truly exists within you rather than just one your friend is able to see right now.This can be really difficult for multiple reasons, not the least of which is that it involves more than just you, so it's important to focus on the idea that you can ask these other people who were involved to discuss it, but that is ultimately up to them.Best wishes for looking at the positive parts of yourself and your friendships.
Question: I was “mentored” by this guy for a few years spiritually. It was okay at times, but other times, it was just weird. I try not to think about it too much, but a lot of manipulation and lying happened, yet no one else really believed me when I told them. It's like he's two different people, and no one else really sees that side of him. I was blamed for a lot of our troubles, and now we don't really talk much. I'm worried because he's in a trusted position of leadership and no one suspects anything. They just think I'm attacking his character. How do I know for sure?

Answer: You may intuitively be sensing what many professionals in the social sciences and psychology have already understood.Just Google "psychopaths and leadership" and many articles come up about boardroom politics and that psychopaths are very successful in these roles.Theoretically, is it terrible that corporate leadership qualities match those of psychopaths?  Well, yes.  And, I consider your question as a mark of your sensitive awareness toward other people.  Being able to recognize social dynamics, is a strength that you have.Psychopaths know how to be charming and to twist words so that others believe that their own interest is the same as the psychopath's.I agree with you about not being able to change people's minds who are attached to this person's interactions.The only way you can introduce a change in the relationship system of a psychopath is that if you are aware of illegal or law breaking activity, and you have evidence of this, that you contact relevant authorities.No one is allowed to break laws, including psychopaths.
Question: I was “mentored” by this guy for a few years spiritually. It was okay at times, but other times, it was just weird. I try not to think about it too much, but a lot of manipulation and lying happened, yet no one else really believed me when I told them. It's like he's two different people, and no one else really sees that side of him. I was blamed for a lot of our troubles, and now we don't really talk much. I'm worried because he's in a trusted position of leadership and no one suspects anything. They just think I'm attacking his character. How do I know for sure?

Answer: It doesn't really matter what the actual diagnosis is, and whether or not he is an actual psychopath, he has manipulated and lied to you, and that is enough reason for you to stay far away from him. Men (and women) with these characteristics can become violent. They can also make your life difficult by creating financial or legal trouble for you. Again, forget about him, and contact the police if you think he is in a position to harm others.
Question: Every time I send a message to someone or a group message on Instagram, iMessage, or snapchat people will read my messages but then they won't answer me.    Could it be that there is something they don't like about me? I don't understand why they won't answer my messages. How do I get people to respond to me?

Answer: I understand the feeling of not being liked due to not having any responses on the sites you list.More than likely the non-response has less to do with liking you than w liking the way you write your messages.Have you tried asking a question in your posts?  This would be one way to invite people to answer your post.When you write,  imagine yourself as the reader of the post.If you think about the wording of a question which would motivate you to respond, then this formula will very likely be the same for many others who read your post.Good luck!
Question: Every time I send a message to someone or a group message on Instagram, iMessage, or snapchat people will read my messages but then they won't answer me.    Could it be that there is something they don't like about me? I don't understand why they won't answer my messages. How do I get people to respond to me?

Answer: Sorry to hear your friends aren't responding to you. If these friends are in-person as well as online, perhaps going to them in person and asking talking to them about your concern. Perhaps it's the way you send messages or the way they are receiving them. if they say no, then a simple request to respond to your messages. Measure the result and notice if there are even small differences. Also understand, why this is so important to you. Ask yourself, why it's so important for you to receive these messages from friends. What does it mean when they don't respond.
Question: Every time I send a message to someone or a group message on Instagram, iMessage, or snapchat people will read my messages but then they won't answer me.    Could it be that there is something they don't like about me? I don't understand why they won't answer my messages. How do I get people to respond to me?

Answer: I'm sorry that you are having a difficult time.I wonder about how your friendships are in person. If you get along well with people and have effective conversations with them face-to-face, there could be some kind of technology-related problem.Have you tried gently talking to people about how you send a message and they didn't answer? If you can phrase it in such a way that they recognize that you are asking for information and not blaming them for not answering you, that could be effective.I'd also encourage you to consider how much this is bothering you. If it is causing a significant amount of anxiety (say, more than 5/10 if 10 is really anxious), I would suggest talking with a local therapist.In the meantime, consider talking about this with someone you trust to whom you can get more details to get a more specific answer.
Question: She mostly targets me on social media. The bullying used to be much worse, but it is still going on. The comments are so vague, but I know that they are meant for me. Even when I confront her, she messages me short phrases to try to get in my head. If I try to fight back, she will ruin me.

Answer: Sorry to hear of your problem situation.  Feeling intimidated by another person is very unsettling.Stop having contact with the person.Bullies only interact with others either by intimidating someone or by themselves feeling intimidated by someone.Bullies do not have the same dynamics as everyone else.No one can convince or persuade or talk a bully out of their behavior.The best protection for yourself, assuming you are not being physically threatened by the person, is to close contact with them.This does not take away any of the disappointment or sadness of wishing for a better relationship with the person.Until the bully wants to interact differently with others, only harm can result from contact with them.Step one is to stop the bleeding, then to assess and learn to live with not having the person in your life.
Question: It's really hard to not have negative feelings about friends who don't put any effort into nourishing our relationship.

Answer: One thing I would ask is "why are you still hanging with those {friends}?" A relationship needs to be nurtured by both parties, it is a dynamic fluctuation between two people. I would ask you to question why you continue to remain together as friends, I always believed that a relationship should emit positivity towards all parties involved, if your in a relationship that is one-sided, it is inevitable that it will start to de-compensate. Never travel with the circus, never travel with fools, everything in life should have some positive payout, will things at times be negative, of course they will, but in order to keep something or someone in your life there should be more positivity than negativity.Hope this helps, C
Question: It's really hard to not have negative feelings about friends who don't put any effort into nourishing our relationship.

Answer: Interpersonal relationship (either positive or negatives) need to or more persons who give and receive: attention, dedication, time and communication. But what makes friendships special is that they last trough time, at least with those who we call our true friends, those who know us well and whom we have a special connection and those from whom we disconnect at times, without fear of losing them.Consider what is that you are going trough yourself and with your relationship, talk to your friend about your concern; let him (her) know that you would like to spend more time together.  Plan an activity that you both enjoy or try to discover a new hobby. If your friend is not enthusiastic or engaged, give him (her) some time and focus your energy spending time with other friends or enjoying activities in solitude. After a waiting period, call again to let your friend know how you are and that you are still a friend.   If you continue feeling rejected, analyze why you value this relationship so much and consider if it’s worth to maintain it.Mis amigos no ponen esfuerzo en nuestra relación.Es muy difícil no tenerles sentimientos negativos a amigos que no se esfuerzan en cuidar nuestra relación.Las relaciones interpersonales (negativas positivas) necesitan dos o más personas que den y reciban: atención, dedicación, tiempo y comunicación.  Pero lo que tienen de especial las relaciones de amistad es que perduran a través del tiempo, al menos con los que llamamos nuestros verdaderos amigos, los que nos conocen bien y con quien tenemos una conexión especial, y de quienes nos desconectamos en ocasiones, sin miedo a perderlos. Considera que está sucediendo contigo y en tu amistad, conversa con tu amigo(a) sobre tu preocupación, déjale saber que te gustaría pasar más tiempo juntos.  Planifica alguna actividad que les interese a ambos o descubran algún nuevo interés.  Si la respuesta de tu amigo(a) no es positiva o entusiasta, dale tiempo y acércate a otras personas que compartan intereses en común, o dedícate a hacer cosas que disfrutas en solitud.  Después de un plazo,  vuelve a comunicarte para saber como esta, y dejarle su amigo(a) de siempre está ahí. Si sientes que tu amigo(a) no tiene ningún interés, buscar hacer nuevas conexiones, y enfócate más en ti y en otras actividades.  Si tu amigo(a) no responde, analiza porque valoras esta relación, y si conviene mantenerla, aun cuando tu amigo(a) no responde a tus esfuerzos.
Question: I'm having problems shutting them out and putting up walls.

Answer: It sounds like you would like to let other people get close to you and at the same time you are finding yourself compelled to keep people at a distance. Often times, when we have difficulty trusting others, it is because we have specific fears about what would happen if we get close or let our guard down. Such fears may be rooted in past experiences in relationships in which we were hurt and or disappointed. In working with a therapist, you can gain insight into what is underneath your compulsion to put walls around yourself and develop ways to form authentic, lasting, satisfying relationships with others.
Question: I'm having a quinceañera, and the girls don't like their dresses. They never told me, and now it's a week away. I don't know what to do.

Answer: How did you find out that the girls aren't happy with their dresses?Did you hear this directly from one of them or is this third hand information that someone else told you about one of the girls in your party?The answer matters because gossiping instead of directly telling you about a problem, is a problem in itself.I suggest a conversation with the entire group of girls in which you tell them how you actually are feeling about their opinions about the dresses.One topic you may consider bringing up is what everyone expects to get out of the party.  Are they coming because they like one another and wearing a dress in which the girl is happy, is only one way of having fun together?You may learn a great deal as to the difference in values about a quinceaña among you and your friends.I hope you'll have a fun party!
Question: I would like to be able to have more positive relationships in the present.

Answer: Staying present is an attitude most of us aspire
to, and most of us have to work at it—certainly at first. I’m here to tell you
that living in the now or being mindful is a skill anyone can learn. Unfortunately,
the only way to do it is to do it. What a paradox! But there are plenty of
other skills that we are not born with: walking on stilts, riding a bike,
swimming, and driving a car are good examples. You can’t learn them by reading about
them.Having said that, I can recommend two books on
the subject: Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of
Now and David Richo’s When the Past
is Present. Richo asks that we don’t beat ourselves up about dwelling on
past events. This is nature’s way of reminding us that we have unfinished
business. But while we are attended to the wounds and confusion that litter our earlier lives, we can prepare to inhabit the expanded present that awaits us.He offers three helpful steps to making any important life
change:Step One: Hold in awareness the behavior,
belief, attitude, or characteristic you want to change in yourself and how you
want to be different. Awareness is the opposite of distraction and stuffing.Step Two: Live as if you have
already made the change. (This is hard and takes courage, but you can do it.
Ride that bike—even if for a foot or two.)Step Three: Be persistent.
(Practice, practice, practice.)Just as two-year-olds are able to walk
confidently after hundreds of hours of practice, you’ll be able to stay in the
here and now as long as you want after trying and failing many, many times.
Question: I would like to be able to have more positive relationships in the present.

Answer: Would you describe yourself as sensitive to your surroundings and emotions?If yes, this may explain why letting go of past problems, is itself a problem.The dynamic of living one day at a time and letting go of past problems, is more imaginary and wishful than real.It is a popular notion of TV, FB, and media.Doing the letting go, has nothing to do with what is actually possible to do.Problems are not "let go", they are resolved somehow.Living one day at a time isn't possible for anyone who has consciousness.  No one can really disconnect from reality every day on which they wake up.Instead of trying to do the impossible which is promoted online and in media, allow yourself time to recognize what went into creating a problem in your life, in the first place.  Understanding problems leads to peacefulness and resolution.  Then you will have more freedom to make new relationships.Also, be patient with this process and yourself.If you have deep attachment to painful situations in your life, then possibly now is your time for understanding what went wrong.This is a process which cannot be rushed if it is to be done well.If it is done thoroughly, then you very naturally will bring new relationships into your life.And life will no longer feel so painful that you can only manage "one day at a time" without hurting.  You won't need to forget what happened yesterday.
Question: I would like to be able to have more positive relationships in the present.

Answer: Hi Chapel Hill, I like your goal; research is telling us more and more that one of the most important keys to happiness is having healthy relationships. If we feel successful in that area, it can give us the confidence and hope to tackle anything life throws at us.There are personal barriers we all have to having healthy relationships; it's our "stuff", our "baggage" (not a steam trunk, right...you have a cute little Gucci bag!). You hint that people may have hurt you in the past. Maybe fear says "stay away...hold onto resentment or you will be hurt again!". Resentment, or simply focusing on the past is certainly a barrier to improving any relationship. Learning to forgive ourselves and others is so important. And remember...forgiveness isn't about saying something was okay; it only means "It happened, I can't change that, and I don't want to carry it (anger, hurt, resentment) around anymore, so I let it go." Or...sometimes fear tells us that people won't accept us; this keeps us isolated for sure! But really, all fear wants is power over us. Fear is a trickster! It tells us that if we let go of the past, we will be rejected or hurt. It says "I'm trying to protect you!", but what it REALLY wants is to paralyze and isolate us all so it can feel powerful. Once you pull the sheeps clothing off of fear, you can see that it doesn't help you at all!Once you see where your personal barriers are, and you start to refute those thoughts in your mind, you can begin to build new ideas about yourself and other people that are based on compassion instead of fear... Everyone deserves forgiveness and compassion.No one deserves to be judged by their worst moments.If I look in the rearview mirror, I can't move forward.We are all beautifully imperfect.I can't change the past, but I have the power to make the future good.I wish you the best on your journey!
Question: I would like to be able to have more positive relationships in the present.

Answer: Take one day at a time!!!  Each day do things that make you happy, moves to a positive place, focusing on the future, give you a sense of fulfillment and accomplishment.  Journal at the end of the day of how well you did that day in focusing on these things.  Each day should be a step better than the previous day.  You will have days that you didn't do as well....that is human and OK.  Just get back on track the next day....At the end of the week, review how well you did and give your self a grade.  If did well, you deserve ice cream, etc.  If not so good, OK....tell yourself next week "got to focus one day at a time".  You can do it....it takes practice but will get better each day,  I wish you happy days and happy future...
Question: I would like to be able to have more positive relationships in the present.

Answer: Remember, the past no longer exists and the future is just an illusion as we don't know what will happen tomorrow, so take the present as your guide. That is all we can do, so keep saying this to yourself and try to help someone each day.  The happiness is helping others to feel a bit better.
Question: In this argument my friends are all against me so I'm wondering if I'm exaggerating my feelings. I feel like I'm being attacked and that is making me blow things out of proportion and taking the role of the victim, when in reality I'm the one being unreasonable and I am simply annoying my reasonable friends. Or are they really being insensitive and not respecting me in our friendship?

Answer: Conflict is a tricky beast and shows up in every one of our relationships. What I'm reading is that you find yourself in a loop of  seeking validation of your thoughts and feelings from your friends rather than validating yourself. Am I right? If you aren't validating yourself, no one else will be able to either.  Try finding a small nugget of truth in the feedback your friends give you, this will help to lower your defenses and help your friends hear what you are really sharing.  And then if you are still feeling vulnerable, share that too...