Lathma/Mental_Health_Conversation_Dataset huggingface dataset:
Question: We rent from from my boyfriend's parents. His father drops by unannounced and stays for long periods of time. He lets himself into our home when we aren't there on a daily basis and takes our dogs to his house. He picks up our mail. He has NO boundaries. 

He's an opinionated, rude pushy person. He expects to spend every weekend around us, gives unsolicited advice on child rearing and does not respect our privacy at all. He barges in with no warning. He has a key and lets himself into our house without asking permission. I need help. How do I address this?

Answer: You're expecting reasonable behaviors from your boyfriend's father.Since the father is his, your boyfriend is the person in position to speak directly with his dad about the expectations you and he have of the father.If your boyfriend has a good relationship w his dad, which is not what this sounds like, then great!If your boyfriend has a stressed and tense relationship w his dad, then somehow he needs to develop or be coached and encouraged by the people in his life who truly care about and know him, a way to state the very reasonable standards you describe here.If all else fails, then a new living space is always another possibility!
Question: My dad makes me feel like shit and like I'm worthless.  He calls me names and makes me feel depressed.  I want to move out because I swear if I stay here, I'm going to lose it. What can I do?

Answer: If you're actually able to afford to move out and support your own life, then this is a reasonable choice.If you're not in such a position and must continue for a while to live w your dad, then emotionally protect yourself from him.Doing so is much more difficult than maybe it sounds.Do you have privacy in your house and can you spend more time in a self-created safe space than around your dad?Also, limit the amount of dialogue you have with him so you don't offer him a chance to feel invited to criticize you.Are there other people who live in the household w you and dad?If yes, then are they similarly called names or are you singled out by him? What do the other family members do when they hear your dad calling you names?Is it possible the other family members don't realize how hurt and upset you are by your dad's behavior?If yes, then make a project for yourself to tell the other family members that you suffer from your dad's name calling.It is possible the other family members will step in and tell your dad to stop.Not necessarily that he will stop.  Knowing the others support you emotionally and find you credible is helpful on its own.
Question: I just took a job that requires me to travel far away from home. My family and I really need this job.

People keep telling me I have "anxiety" and I'm terrified of having an anxiety attack on the road. This is all new to me. What can I do?

Answer: Anxiety or panic attacks can be very frightening.  Here are a few "tools" you can use that will help in the short term:  Keeping your mind occupied by listening to books on tape may help;  Counting backwards from 100 in 7's; Naming cities that begin with each letter of the alphabet; Keeping some ice or an ice pack in a cooler beside you, which you may take out and hold in your hand or to your face; Soothing self-talk such as "This is uncomfortable, but I can handle it" or "I've been through this before and can make it through again".  I recommend that you seek out a Therapist to help you with some long-term solutions to the anxiety.  Additionally, learning to breathe into the abdomen and practicing this daily is another long-term solution.  Yoga and meditation would be great!
Question: I keep having these random thoughts that I don't want.  Things like "you aren't worth anything."  I know they're my own thoughts but it feels like someone else is saying it.

What is wrong with me, and how can I stop having these thoughts?

Answer: Many people have thoughts like those you describe, and often it feels like someone else is saying it because they are things that may have been said to you when you were very young.  When young children hear negative things about themselves they tend to internalize these negative ideas and to form negative core beliefs.  The good news is we can learn to stop these thoughts and to replace them with healthier thoughts.  The first step is to catch yourself when you are thinking these thoughts, and to stay "stop!"; then replace it with another thought.  So for instance, maybe you fail a test or get rejected by a romantic interest.  You catch yourself saying "you aren't worth anything". Stop this thought, and replace it with "You didn't do as well on that test as you would have liked.  Let's figure out how you can do better next time."  Or "she may not want to go out with you, but someone else will". So the idea is to develop a voice of a "friend", who can tell you the kind of things you would say to your own best friend.  You might also pick up the book, Feeling Good, by David Burns. He gives many tips for how to change Negative Self Talk.
Question: I'm planning to have baby, so I have to quit smoking - but it's hard. Sometimes it's not a physical need, it's mental.

I cannot help myself from thinking about smoking. What can I do to get rid of this addiction?

Answer: Breaking any habit is no easy feat.   Cutting down or cutting out cigarettes is very challenging, and there aren't any one size fits all solutions.  Fortunately, there are a lot of tricks and tools that you can use to stop smoking.  1. Many habits that we have are paired habits. If we do one thing, then we will do the other thing.  Think about the activities that you do when smoking and try to pair those activities with another activity other than smoking.  For instance, many people smoke while they drive.  Consider planning another activity to do while driving. (It might not be driving for you, but you get the idea! :)).  It might be taking a walk instead of smoking on your break at work.  2.  Create distance between you and the habit you are trying to break.  This approach could be used in a variety of different ways.  If you smoke first thing in the morning, consider leaving your cigarettes in a different room in your home.  Walking the extra couple of feet could help you decide not to smoke.   Leave your credit or debit cards at home and carry less emergency cash than a pack of cigarettes.  With this strategy, you are trying to create some distance between you the cigarettes so that you have to jump through extra hoops to get them.  3.  Consider cutting back before cutting out.  If you are smoking 10 cigarettes a day, try smoking 9. Then cut back to 8 and so on.  Having a plan to reduce harm may be more sustainable than cutting things out altogether. 4.  You could also talk to your doctor about the safety of nicotine patches. If you aren't already pregnant, this could be a great resource to help boost your success.  5. Focus on what you are gaining instead of what you are loosing. You may be losing cigarettes, but you are gaining money, health, taste buds, an increased sense of smell, lung capacity, a healthy baby etc.  You could plan small rewards/ treats with the money you save from decreasing cigarette purchases.  I recommend making these purchases small and frequent to keep up the momentum rather than waiting for a big payout a couple of months down the road.  Good luck! Cutting out cigarettes will be good for you and your baby.
Question: I am in a high stress position for a tech company. I am being overworked and underpaid for my contributions and it is not only giving me anxiety, but also demoralizing.

What can I do to manage my stress?

Answer: Being in this position is tough. If seeking another career opportunity isn't viable, there are a couple of things you can do to manage stress on the job.  1. Have a ritual to begin the day:  Consider setting a one sentence intention and plan tasks for the day2. Take the breaks you are offered. I know it can be difficult to step away from your desk to eat lunch or take 10-minute breaks during the day, but prioritize this if you can. Sometimes 30 minutes of downtime and fresh air can help you feel better. 3.  Have a ritual to end the day:  If you commute by car consider an end of the day playlist.  Take a walk. Light a candle.  Clear your desk and write tasks for the next day. Whatever it is, send a signal to your brain that it is time to end the day.4. If you do work from home or are expected to be available after hours, set boundaries where you can.  Set a timer for answering emails and stick to that.  Have phone free meals.    Try to engage in activities that are rejuvenating like spending time the friends and family.  5. Try to limit alcohol/ drugs.  Move as much as you can.  Get outside in natural sunlight.  These are just ideas/ suggestions.  Even doing one of these things could be a step in the right direction.  Best of luck!
Question: I'm dealing with imposter syndrome in graduate school.  I know that by all accounts I am a phenomenal graduate student, and that I am well-published.  I am well liked by students and faculty alike.  And yet I cannot shake the feeling that I'm going to be found out as a fraud. 

How can I get over this feeling?

Answer: It sounds like you are on the right track. Recognizing these nagging thoughts of self- doubt as "imposter syndrome" is a huge step in the right direction.  From what you have written here, it appears that you are able to challenge your own thoughts and provide yourself with evidence that counteracts the imposter syndrome.   Continuing to remind yourself of what you have accomplished and looking at the facts at hand can help diminish doubt.  Remember, many successful people battled imposter syndrome on the way to the top (and still manage it).  It might be helpful to read some of their stories so that you don't feel alone.  "The Cut" has a great article on "25 Famous Women on Imposter-Syndrome and Self-Doubt".   Business Insider has a great article about men and the imposter syndrome too.  Remember, if you jumped through all of the hoops to get into school and get published-- you belong.
Question: My mother is combative with me when I say I don't want to talk with her about my depression.  

She hasn't been supportive of me in the past and she isn't someone that I feel comfortable opening up to. She constantly tries to instigate conversations where she asks me questions that I don't want to or can't answer. I tell her I don't want to talk and she starts arguments with me. 

How can I get her to understand?

Answer: Your situation sounds extremely frustrating.You're doing the right move to state you don't want to discuss your depression with her.I guess you could ask if she would like to know your reason to not speak w her about your depression.  If you feel she can handle a reasonable conversation, and you would like to tell her your true reason, then schedule this or bring up the topic at a neutral time, not in the middle of an argument.Having an unsupportive mom is difficult enough to accept.  You may feel greater success and peach of mind to meditate on accepting her lack of understanding than to engage in arguing when she starts this.
Question: I am in my early 20s and I still live with my parents because I can't afford to live alone.

My mother says that if I live under her roof I have to follow her rules. She is trying to control my life. What should I do?

Answer: Hi!   I'm sorry you are having such a tough time with this situation.  I have worked with a number of young adults in their 20's who have had to move back home after college , or even stay at home through the college years.  Bottom line is that either way , it is so difficult when you are trying to discover who you are and what you want your life to be , to have to live at home.   I have even heard much older adults clients  say that when they visit their childhood home , they suddenly feel like a "kid" again .  The old dynamics between adults and their parents and siblings can pop right up as if they have gone back in time and are no longer adults !I would suggest that you approach your mom and say something like "I am hoping we can talk about the best way for us to manage me living here.  I really appreciate that you are giving me a place to live until I get on my feet , and I want to be respectful of you and our home ; at the same time , though, I feel like it's important for me to have more independence than when I was younger because I am growing up and trying to learn more about myself and become more autonomous. Can we talk about what might be fair rules that we can  both live with ?" If she is receptive , maybe you can each write a separate list of what you think would be fair and reasonable and then compare lists and try to make compromises and come up with a list of "guidleines" that feel fair to you both .   If this is too hard to do alone , perhaps you and your mom can meet with a therapist a few times who can help you to come  up with some kind of "compromise contract."   This is not an easy situation , but if you can approach your mom in a calm and "mature" way and suggest a planned, structured discussion that doesn't take place in the heat of the moment , your mom may be impressed by your maturity and even more receptive to working out some rules that you can both live with.Good luck !!Elissa Gross
Question: My boyfriend is in recovery from drug addiction. We recently got into a fight and he has become very distant.  I don't know what to do to fix the relationship.

Answer: I'm sorry you have tension between you and your bf.A relationship means two people who relate, right?!   If only one person does all the work to change their approach, what they expect, what they offer the other, then this becomes the new problem to solve.If you've already done a significant amount of reflection and change in the way you relate to him, then the next step may be to be patient as long as possible while he decides what to change about his part in the relationship toward you.Substance abuse recovery requires profound effort and reflection.  If it is successful then the result will show very different qualities in your bf than the ones you know currently.He may be so absorbed in the recovery that he can only concentrate on this.   Of course if the fights persist and you have been patient for what feels too long, then there are different questions to address.
Question: The birth mother attempted suicide several times while pregnant. The adopted mother was terminally ill upon adopting the baby and died when  the child was just over one year old.  The adopted father then remarried to a physically, psychologically, and emotionally abusive woman.  The child was placed in foster care at 11 years old. 

What might be the long term effects on an adult with this childhood history?

Answer: The true answer is, "no one can really say with certainty".The variables are the way this child absorbs and adjusts to these significant changes in their life.  All anyone can do is guess at this point and there's no good reason to guess.The only general certainty is that the adult whom this child becomes will have had a profound encounter with the biggest types of human losses a child can go through.Some people become great teachers, therapists and philosophers who have this background.  Some give up on life and hide away from others.The best anyone could do who knows this child is to offer love bc this is the greatest guarantee to show there are good people on this earth.
Question: I think adult life is making him depressed and we often sleep in on weekends untill 1 or 2 pm. We just eat, smoke weed, watch movies, and he'll go on his phone all day. He doesn't seem motivated to do much and he's often angry.

 I have no clue how to help him take his mind off the negative, or to distract him into a different light. How do I help him?

Answer: How do you help yourself to believe you require more than what he offers to you?What do you get from this relationship which feels satisfying?To answer this question may in the longterm be the best way to help your bf.
Question: I just took a job that requires me to travel far away from home. My family and I really need this job.

People keep telling me I have "anxiety" and I'm terrified of having an anxiety attack on the road. This is all new to me. What can I do?

Answer: hmm this is a tough one!