Reviewer's report
Title:"Its almost expected": rural Australian Aboriginal women's reflections on
smoking initiation and maintenance: a qualitative study
Version: 5Date:7 October 2011
Reviewer: Annette Schultz
Reviewer's report:
Dear Dr. Passey,
Great work on continuing to move this manuscript along; there has been
considerable improvements when compared to earlier version from last spring.
More importantly, from my perspective, the novel and valuable findings from the
study are clearly presented and well supported. At this point my suggested
revisions include 5 Minor Revisions and 4 Discretionary Revisions.
Minor Essential Revisions
Background
Page 6: I suggested separating this long paragraph into two: the break point I
suggest is the sentence starting on line 8 with “In a national-wide…” Prior to this
sentence the focus is smoking during pregnancy and after the focus is smoking
with Aboriginal communities/populations.
Methods (considerable improvement here-reads very well, clearly described and
convincing)
Page 7: first sentence on line 7…I suggest including “social and” just before
environmental factors…
May be more reflective of what was done and the intended focus of the study; as
well as, clearly to the reader that environmental includes social. Also when the
topics described uses both words.
I noticed the deletion of the SCT piece…also noticed the reference remains.
Noticed this when I reviewed the qualitative references included now. My sense
is it is no longer needed but did not review the paper to look. So this leads to the
suggestion to review references for accuracy.
Page 11/12-Data Management and Analysis: I suggest a reference here would
be useful…most like one used before. Also would name the process….here is a
possible sentence.
A content analysis process was used to both reveal codes relevant to themes
related to study topic and identification of any additional themes.
Then after this go onto describe the process as is already done in the
manuscript.
Results
Page 13: here is my biggest suggestion for revision. I suggest the following
passage does not belong here.
Within this context, with separate social networks, considerable disadvantage,
and a high prevalence of smoking, young girls use smoking to attain status and
assert their group membership and Aboriginal identity. Family and social
structures, while providing strong supports, limit the capacity of individual parents
to influence their children not to smoke, and provide children with ready access
to cigarettes. The experience of marginalization is considered to contribute to
limited opportunities and aspirations for young people, leading them to seek
pleasure in the present rather than having goals for the future.
While I like the ideas, they are prematurely presented here. Also with this review
realized they appear (maybe) to be reflect the themes discussed under the
smoking initiation section. So my suggestion is to move it and integrate it into the
first paragraph under that section Page 18/19 as an opener for the themes to be
discussed. When it is move, I suggest reviewing to ensure it follows the order
and ideas.
Discretionary Revisions
Results
Page 14: I wondered about including a reference from one of the women
concerning colonization; and/or comments from dialogues with the CRG about
colonization (noticed you have included this with some of the other themes). I
suggest the inclusion of one or both of these would strengthen the credibility of
this theme.
Page 24-Protective influences: The 3rd sentences notes that several woman
reported only initiating smoking after discontinuing competitive sports etc. I
wonder if there is a quote to reflect this point. Again would strengthen this
section.
Discussion
Page 25: in the first sentence I suggest deleting “interpretations and” am not sure
both interpretations and understandings are needed…seem sort of similar. Since
interpretations is more closely associated with research process, suggest leaving
in women’s understandings.
Page 27: In the last sentence starting on line 10…here is my suggested revised
version
These findings resonate with our own in articulating the importance of Aboriginal
identity in social network formation, and the role social networks play in
perpetuating smoking behavior, including initiating smoking.
These are all of my suggested revisions. Again well done and imagine this
manuscript will make a significant contribution to literature concerning Aboriginal
peoples and tobacco misuse. The study findings open up the dialogue
concerning the social influences and anticipate these findings will provide ideas
for future research. I appreciate and acknowledge your tenacity/willingness to
revise the manuscript; hope my impressions are shared by the authors.
All the best, Dr. Annette Schultz
Level of interest: An article of importance in its field
Quality of written English: Acceptable
Statistical review: No, the manuscript does not need to be seen by a
statistician.
Declaration of competing interests:
‘I declare that I have no competing interests'