Title: The effect of educational intervention based on theory of planned behavior on behavioral
responses of premenopausal women in prevention of osteoporosis
Version: 0 Date: 17 Feb 2022
Reviewer's report:
Dear Author
Thank you for your valuable research.
Please find my comments below:
Abstract:
Background:
Line 30: It is necessary to mention the importance of educational intervention based on the
theory of planned behavior in the prevention of osteoporosis.
Methods:
Please use “participants” instead of “subjects” in the text of the manuscript.
Please remove the redundant word "present" from phrases such as present study, present
educational intervention, etc.
Please write the following:
-Year of study.
-Number of people in the intervention and control groups.
-Random sampling techniques (Simple, Systematic, etc.)
L36: Please add the words "valid" and "reliable" to the questionnaire.
L37, 40: Sentences such as a "questionnaire was filled out …..by subject" and" Obtained data
were analyzed" are not suitable for scientific writing. Correct the sentences.
L41: Please remove the redundant phrase "descriptive statistical tests".
Results:
L44: Please replace the word “average” with “mean”.
L45: The word “knowledge” must be used singularly.
L45: Please note the mean, standard deviation, and p-value of the TPB constructs and the other
variables.
Keywords: Please write the keywords using MeSH.
Background
L62-63: It is better to replace references 1 and 2 with a more recent reference.
L67-71: The sentence related to the World Health Organization is long and incomprehensible.
Please rewrite.
L71: Reference No. 5 cannot be retrieved.
L67, 82, 90, 105: Please remove redundant phrases such as “According to WHO”, “most of the
scientific articles”, “Studies indicated that” and " According to this theory”
It is best to summarize the paragraphs on the importance of osteoporosis.
L94-111: Please summarize the application of theory in education and explain the structures of
the theory of planned behavior.
L 115-119: The need to apply the theory of planned behavior in explaining behavior should be
added to the last paragraph of the background.
The study gap is not justified. What is research educational innovation? Please explain the need
for osteoporosis prevention based on theory, logically and documented. Are there no similar
studies before? If there is a study, write down the importance of the present study and its
innovation. If it does not exist, it should also be stated.
Methods
L123: Please use academic and scientific terms to write sentences. Use “sample size calculation”
instead of “sample volume determination”.
L124: Express the dropout rate.
L127: Please insert numbers in the formula.
L130: The process of random sampling and allocation should be fully described.
L131: “Under cover" is not correct. Please use women who refer to the center.
Please rewrite the paragraph scientifically:
L130-134: Sampling was performed based on the number of health document of women under
cover of two selected health centers. Then subjects were gathered in an especial day in health
center and were introduced to each other. Also, the objectives of study were explained to them
and a consent letter was signed by studied women.
L135: Please insert TPB reference.
L140: Is knowledge measured by an 8-point Likert scale? Please explain more.
Please summarize the sentences. Do not repeat phrases such as “2 questions about”...
L139-160: Please summarize the paragraph related to the items of the theory-based
questionnaire. All structures are about calcium and vitamin D intake and physical activity, so
remove extra phrases.
L164: Mention the level of physical activity.
P3, L167-175: Please Report the range of CVI and CVR.
P3, L168: Content validity index is correct. Please delete the content validity ratio.
P3, L177: Please note the reliability of perceived behavioral control, intention, and behavior.
P4, 5: Explain the educational intervention in a table. Time, Construct, adjustment, content,
educational methods and materials, educator, strategy, learner assignment, and evaluation.
P6, L202: The control group received a booklet. So it has not been without intervention. What
did the booklet contain? Explain more.
P7, L207: Repeated Measures ANOVA
Results
P1, L209-217: Please, the results written in the first paragraph, be presented by the table. The
text should be summarized.
Table1: The title of Table 1 should be written academically and scientifically. The number of
participants should be mentioned. Report the statistical tests used at the table footnote.
Table 2: The title of Table 2 is too long. It is not necessary to mention all the variables in the title.
Table 2 Title: Self-efficacy??
Report the statistical tests used at the table footnote.
Discussion
P1, L232-233. The discussion should begin with the main finding of the study, namely the
effectiveness of the intervention.
P1, L233-236: The Matching of the experimental and control groups does not need to be
discussed.
Excess sentences such as "Present results indicated that 2 weeks and 2 months after educational
intervention" should be removed.
Please remove the phrase “Results of the current study showed that” of the whole discussion.
Avoid repeating the results in the discussion. The results should be compared and interpreted.
Conclusion
Please remove the phrase “Based on obtained results, it can be concluded that”.
Why not all TPB constructs are mentioned?
Please suggest the design, implementation, and evaluation of the intervention based on theory.
Best regards