Instruction:
What are five totally distinct, creative ways to describe the usefulness of a broken stapler?

Response:
While a broken stapler may not have many obvious uses, there are a few ways to find utility from this broken piece of office equipment. First, and as long as the stapler is broken, Stephen Root, otherwise known as Milton from Office Space, would no longer have a reason to take revenge on Initech. Secondly, you can use the broken stapler to store additional staples for staplers that are in fact working. A third use, depending on the nature of the break, would be to use the stapler to get a refund from Office Max. Fourth, it could be used as a prank in the office to watch people attempt to staple pieces of paper after using the copy machine (as long as the copy machine, another notoriously broken piece of office equipment, actually works). Lastly, and probably most obvious, a broken stapler could be used as a paper weight.