Everything other than evolution eventually disintegrates; we all are, and everything else is, vehicles for evolution. For example, while we see ourselves as individuals, we are essentially vessels for our genes that have lived millions of years and continuously use and shed bodies like ours.
I recommend Richard Dawkins’s and E. O. Wilson’s books on evolution. If I had to pick just one, it would be Dawkins’s River Out of Eden.
Of course, we are often satisfied with the same things, relationships, careers, etc., but when that is the case, it is typically because we are getting new enjoyments from the changing dimensions of those things.
The marginal benefits of moving from a shortage to an abundance of anything decline.
Your unique power of reflectiveness, your ability to look at yourself, the world around you, and the relationship between you and the world, means that you can think deeply and weigh subtle things to come up with learning and wise choices. Asking other believable people about the root causes of your pain in order to enhance your reflections is also typically very helpful, especially others who have opposing views but who share your interest in finding the truth rather than being proven right. If you can reflect deeply about your problems, they almost always shrink or disappear, because you almost always find a better way of dealing with them than if you don’t face them head-on.
To be clear, I am not saying people should not be helped. I believe that people should be helped by giving them opportunities and the coaching they need to become strong enough to take advantage of their opportunities. As the saying goes, “God helps those who help themselves.” But this isn’t easy, especially with people you care about. To be effective in helping people learn from painful experiences, you must explain the logic and caring behind what you’re doing clearly and repeatedly. As you read in “Where I’m Coming From,” this was a large part of what compelled me to explain my principles.
Your ability to see the changing landscape and adapt is more a function of your perception and reasoning than your ability to learn and process quickly.
Don't avoid facing “harsh realities.” Insted, Face “harsh realities.” don't Worry about appearing good. Insted, Worry about achieving the goal. don't Make your decisions on the basis of first-order consequences. Insted, Make your decisions on the basis of first-, second-, and third-order consequences. don't Allow pain to stand in the way of progress. Insted, Understand how to manage pain to produce progress. don't Don’t hold yourself and others accountable. Insted, Hold yourself and others accountable.
Use the 5-Step Process to Get What You Want Out of Life
It seems to me that the personal evolutionary process, takes place in five distinct steps. If you can do those five things well, you will almost certainly be successful. Here they are in a nutshell: Have clear goals. Identify and don’t tolerate the problems that stand in the way of your achieving those goals. Accurately diagnose the problems to get at their root causes. Design plans that will get you around them. Do what’s necessary to push these designs through to results.
First you have to pick what you are going after, your goals. Your choice of goals will determine your direction. As you move toward them, you will encounter problems. Some of those problems will bring you up against your own weaknesses. How you react to the pain that causes is up to you. If you want to reach your goals, you must be calm and analytical so that you can accurately diagnose your problems, design a plan that will get you around them, and do what’s necessary to push through to results. Then you will look at the new results you achieve and go through the process again. To evolve quickly, you will have to do this fast and continuously, setting your goals successively higher.
You will need to do all five steps well to be successful and you must do them one at a time and in order. For example, when setting goals, just set goals. Don’t think about how you will achieve them or what you will do if something goes wrong. When you are diagnosing problems, don’t think about how you will solve them, just diagnose them. Blurring the steps leads to suboptimal outcomes because it interferes with uncovering the true problems. The process is iterative: Doing each step thoroughly will provide you with the information you need to move on to the next step and do it well.