Generosity is good and entitlement is bad, and they can easily be confused, so be crystal clear on which is which. Decisions should be based on what you believe is warranted in a particular circumstance and what will be most appreciated. If you want to have a community of people who have both high-quality, long-term relationships and a high sense of personal responsibility, you can’t allow a sense of entitlement to creep in.
Know where the line is and be on the far side of fair. The line is what’s fair, appropriate, or required, as distinct from what’s generous, in light of the defined quid pro quo relationship between parties. As mentioned earlier, you should expect people to behave in a manner consistent with how people in high-quality, long-term relationships behave, with a high level of mutual consideration for each other’s interests and a clear understanding of who is responsible for what. Each should operate on the far side of fair, by which I mean giving more consideration to others than you demand for yourself. This is different from how people in most commercial relationships generally behave, as they tend to focus more on their own interests than on the interests of others or of the community as a whole. If each party says “You deserve more,” “No, you deserve more,” rather than “I deserve more,” you are more likely to have generous, good relationships.
Pay for work. While it isn’t all about the quid pro quo between the company and the employee, this balance must be economically viable for the relationships to be sustainable. Set policies that clearly define this quid pro quo, and be measured, but not excessively precise, when shifting it around. While you should by and large stick to the arrangement, you should also recognize that there are rare, special times when employees will need a bit of extra time off and there are times that the company will require employees to give it extra hours. The company should pay for above-normal work one way or another, and employees should be docked for below-normal work. The give-and-take should roughly equal out over time. Within reasonable boundaries, nobody should worry about the exact ebbs and flows. But if the needs of one side change on a sustained basis, the financial arrangement will need to be readjusted to establish a new, appropriate relationship.
Recognize that the size of the organization can pose a threat to meaningful relationships.
When there were just a few of us, we had meaningful relationships because we knew and liked each other. When we grew to between fifty and a hundred people, we had a community; when we grew beyond that, the sense of community began to slip because we didn’t all know each other in the same way. That’s when I realized that having groups (departments) of around a hundred (give or take about fifty) that are bound collectively by our common mission was the best way to scale the meaningful relationship. While bigger companies tend to be more impersonal, that is just another challenge that has to be figured out.
Remember that most people will pretend to operate in your interest while operating in their own.
For example, most people will operate in a way that maximizes the amount of money they will get and that minimizes the amount of work they have to do to get it.
To see this, just leave someone unsupervised and allow them to bill you for what they have done. Be especially wary of this conflict of interest when people are advising you on matters that will affect how much money they earn, such as the lawyer who spends a lot of billable hours giving you advice, or the salesperson who advises you on what to purchase while receiving a commission on the amount that you spend. You can’t imagine how many people I meet who are eager to “help” me.
Don’t be naive. Strive for the highest possible percentage of your population having meaningful work and meaningful relationships while recognizing that there will always be some percentage of the population who won’t care for the community and/or will do it harm.
Treasure honorable people who are capable and will treat you well even when you’re not looking.
They are rare. Such relationships take time to build and can only be built if you treat such people well.
Create a Culture in Which It Is Okay to Make Mistakes and Unacceptable Not to Learn from Them