You are a local swineherd in the village of Jacquescrappe and your two best friends in the whole world are your two favorite pigs "Oinky" and "Snout".  You have recently finished your daily chores when you hear a terrifying scream.  Your village is known for suffering frequent hit and run attacks from the creatures in the mountainside and those that get taken never come back.  By the time you get there, it is already too late.  And to make matters worse, it was your little sister that was taken this time.  You've been dealing with this shit your whole life, but this is the last straw.  Somebody has to take care of those foul beasts!

 
You pick up a pitchfork only to be stopped by the gentle hand on your shoulder.  You turn and see Brandolf the Bray gazing down at you from behind a beard that is quickly encompassing his whole face.  He tells you that to stop the monsters you must focus on assassinating the Craxil, for without their leader the rest will likely vacate the area (or at least fall into disunity making them easier for the local militia to handle individually). 

 
 
 
 Many other villagers have arrived on the scene and they obviously share the same sentiments as you.  Seeing the looks in their eyes, Brandolf decides he's going to have to organize a council meeting to discuss the matter before anyone gets it in their mind to do anything stupid.

You to The Council Meeting Then

Brandolf the Bray manages to convince the townspeople to stow their torches and pitchforks and agree to a council meeting but it is clear from everyone's faces that they would not accept any outcome that did not involve taking immediate action.  Brandolf's magic may be formidible, but against a numerous and organized foe he would not get far.  The townspeople (yourself included) are but farmers and peasants and would be hardpressed to slay a hackneyed donkey, let alone a monster.

 
Most of the creatures that come out of the mountains are lumbering, humanoid creatures that stand about 10 feet tall and are covered by brown fur from head to toe.  They have a hunch in their backs, and the villagers have taken to calling them humunculi.  While these creatures are certainly new to you, you are warned that there are even more dangerous creatures lurking in the depths of the mountainside.  Now you begin to look at the towering rockface with a mixture of curiosity and dread.

 
"We need to deal with this Craxil thing NOW" an angry voice shouts.  "How long must be culled before the royal military arrives to aid us?"

 
Of course, the royal military they speak of is from the kingdom of Mihtana, which is a considerable distance away.

 
"The royal military has never been willing to send any military force out to our village, why should this be any different?"

 
This comment is true, you think.   The village of Jacquescrappe is a considerable distance away from civilization and the kingdom of Mihtana sees it as being of no strategic value.  Even if it was under direct threat of annihiliation, you doubt anyone would go through the trouble of committing a significant military force out to such a far away place.  In fact, Brandolf is the only outsider that has bothered to help the village in a long time.

 
The rest of the townspeople immediately begin arguing over whether they should stay and defend the land of their ancestors or simply leave.  Others put forth ideas on how to trap the Craxil that are quickly dismissed by Brandolf as stupid.  Suddenly, Brandolf makes an announcement. 

 
"I have a poison, aquired from an alchemist in Lima, that can kill the Craxil.  Even trace amounts of this deadly substance can kill even the largest of creatures".

You listen Intently to Brandolf's Plan

"The trouble is that this poison must be ingested or applied to a blade, simply splashing your opponent with it will not suffice." 

 
"But how will anyone even get that far?  Without royal aid, how can anyone even hope to reach the Craxil?"

 
At this point, many in the council are reminded of your exploits at last year's "capture the flag" contests.  In fact, at every annual festival you manage to outfox your opponents, evade their numbers, and sneak up on their flag.  Your success record was almost unrealistic.  Suddenly, the council gets it in their minds to send you in with the poison.  In fact, you're alarmed by how quickly they're all agreeing to this idea despite the fact you haven't yet.  Then again, you've always sensed that as a swineherd you've never really been well liked or considered "valuable" by the townsfolk so this response isn't entirely unexpected.

 
Nonetheless, you aren't going to go anywhere or do anything that you haven't agreed to do first.  Unlike the others in the room, Brandolf has the decency to walk up and ask your opinion on the matter.  He is usually dismissive of stupid ideas, but he seems to think this one might actually work.  You take a moment to decide how to respond.

You accept The Offer And Begin Your Quest

You resent that the rest of the village is so quick to agree to such an idea without bothering to consult you first, but these creatures carried off your sister and they are going to have to pay for that.  Besides, this shit has to stop.  You inform Brandolf that you agree and he smiles warmly. 

 
"Thank you young one, you are certainly bold to undertake such a suicidal mission."

 
"Well, what choice do I have right?"

 
He hands you the vial of poison, a short sword, a longbow, and a quiver of basic iron arrows.  For once, some of the people of the village actually look at you with respect but then you realize that they are commenting on how stupid you must be under their breath.  The ingrates!  Still, you need to focus on the task at hand.  Brandolf reminds you that the Craxil will be larger that the other creatures and that you should seek to evade rather than engage its underlings.  At this point, you realize you have a problem...

 
You stink!  The stench of swine manure spreads forth like body odor of a sweaty fat girl and you realize you are going to have to do something about this if you expect to succeed in your quest.  The council members may be used to it as this is a farming community, but the creatures almost certainly will not be.  You are going to have to consider how you are going to go about dealing with this issue.

You try The Fancy Cologne

You know that a friend of yours has recently returned from his trip to the city and brought some cologne with him.  You've heard that it does wonders for a man's scent and promptly apply some from a bottle labeled "Musque".  Coincidentally, it does seem rather musky.  Confident in your newfound manly scent you head into the mountains and prepare to meet destiny.  The wind changes direction and your enemy is aware of your position before you even reach the first plateau on the trail.  It isn't long before the humunculi are upon you, ripping you from limb to limb.  You tried to defend yourself with your short sword but hey... these are monsters and you've got the upper body strength of an anorexic girl.  They find you to be an unsatisfying meal.

 

 
THE END