Test or not, you're not going to stand here and accept the judgment that Master Ebon has passed on you. You're more than strong enough to pass through the ceremony, you know you are and to prove it, you immediately make a run for the portal.

"Master Ebon, the Eternal is running towards the portal!" you hear Brother Gray shout just as you make a leap into the shimmering portal. If Ebon said anything you didn't hear it, in fact as soon as you pass through the portal you don't hear anything. You also don't see anything or even feel anything. It's like you've stepped into a place that has sucked out all your senses. You even attempt to speak out loud, but nothing comes out, of course you wouldn't really know since you can't hear anything. You don't believe you're standing on anything and feels like you're "floating" in some sort of void.

As for your mental state of mind, your feelings have become muted. You still have them, but they aren't as strong as they once were. Even before when you suppressed your feelings yourself, you never managed it to this degree. Everything has become deadened.

All of this is so strange and you briefly wonder if you've made a mistake, but then you hear a voice, but it's inside your head. It isn't some sort of subconscious either. It's a very real external force speaking to you in your mind. The voice is a whisper, but loud at the same time, almost overpowering.

"You were not given permission to be here. Why have you disobeyed your superior?" the voice asks.
"I…I wanted to prove I was worthy." You answer. It is a strange sensation to speak with just your brain.
"I see…so do you think you are worthy?"
"Yes."
"Your confidence is admirable. Yet, you do not even where you are, let alone WHO you are."
"I am an Eternal."
"Are you? Tell me, how can one be an Eternal, when one has not even experienced life outside what your superiors have told you? How can one be eternal when one is a mere baby in terms of existence? How can one be eternal when you are before a being that has existed longer than you mortals first came up with the idea of your primitive methods of measuring time? No, you are not eternal. You are confused."

The voice is absolutely oppressive. Any feelings that were dead before are replaced with an extreme feeling of hopelessness and as the voice stated confusion. Within that moment you start to question everything you were taught. Not the skills, but the ideology. Still, you try to maintain your mind, by asking questions.

"Are…are you the god of the Shadow Guards?"
"That designation I suppose is accurate in a sense, but one should not get stuck with just one description, lest it confine you. I am many things as are you, even if you do not realize it yet, despite what your superior believes. Not to say he is wrong, just that he does not have the…insight I possess. Now your fellows that entered before you did are limited in their thought processes. Some have already failed due to their lack of complex thought. Tell me, are you loyal to your Emperor and your Empire?"
"…of course!" you say, though due to your experience in this place, you feel a lot less certain of that, for the first time. This whole event is troubling to you. You almost feel suicidal for not answering with absolute certainty.
"One cannot serve two masters, or at least not for long. The ones your Empire has designated the Shadow Guard are my loyal servants. They are loyal to ME, first. You cannot be a true member of this order if you place your Emperor above me. My followers have survived by hiding in plain sight and making themselves indispensable to the Empire. They have done this for centuries, but there will be a reckoning some day soon and the question is, who's side are you going to be on?"

You cannot answer. The concept of not placing the Emperor about all is so abhorrent to you that you can't even comprehend it. Yet here you are being asked this question by a god no less. He's even suggested a reckoning of some sort that indicates the Shadow Guard will betray the Empire in the future! How can you argue with such a being though? If you disagree it is likely to destroy you, but in this place you almost can't help but to swear subservience to this god. You feel so helpless that it's almost like the choice Mistress gave you except even worse.

You defy the god with all your strength

You aren't going to compromise your beliefs. Not even to a god.

"I will never serve you! My loyalty will always be to the Emperor!" you communicate with your mind. You feel absolutely drained even having this thought.

For a long time there is a silence and you're just floating in the void, with only a sense of impending doom ever growing within your head.

"So be it. I respect your dedication Eternal. May you serve your Emperor in whatever afterlife finds you, because you won't be doing it in this life." The voice whispers and then you feel the numbness that has invaded your body, now invading your mind.

It isn't painful. It isn't anything really. Your brain shuts down along with the rest of your body, which is then enveloped by the void. You completely cease to be and are explained to have died during the Shadow Guard ceremony to Mr. Mol when he asks for an update on your progress.