No one likes a kiss ass. I'm more akin to a god than an angel anyway.


Taking a deep whiff of air you can smell the magic. This place has more to it than abandoned pots of gold and rainbows after all. You order your horse to stay and guard your gold as you dart towards the disturbance, and he obeys, because that is what good horseys do.


You storm through the trees, snapping branches and scaring furry little forest critters. In your haste, you trample a chipmunk. The little fellow's bones make a nice crunching noise.


"Hey what's the big idea!"


You whirl around but do not see anyone. You inspect the bottom of your boot, but the chipmunk is not the speaker. He is squashed like a rotten pumpkin all juicy and splattered.


"Over here you idiot." A giant of a man posing as a tree rumbles toward you. He has moss and vines for a beard and hair. His green eyes glimmer with malice. A bear and a wolf lumber along at his sides. "Why are you destroying my forest?"


"Sorry, I was looking for whatever made that awful cry."


"That was a leprechaun bemoaning his sorry fate of being a leprechaun."


"Cool, can you show me where they are?"


"You murder my friend and harm my trees and you ask me for help? Give me one reason why I shouldn't bring you home to my wife and tickle you to death for her amusement while my children eat your toes!"


What in the name of Pegasus is this thing? Oh, if only you had brought that book on mythical creatures Samwellington bought you for your birthday. At any rate, something tells you he does not belong in Irelandshire. You do not think you will be able to reason with him. If the chipmunk was his friend, honor would dictate that he avenge the cute little guy's mushy corpse. How do you want to play this?

You turn your clothes inside out and put your shoes on the wrong feet.

You remember now! This creature is a leshy, and there is only one sure fire way to stop a leshy. You whip off your clothes, put them on inside out, kick off your shoes and slip them onto the opposite feet.


The leshy grimaces and his animal companions slink away. "I guess I have to show you the way out now."


"I know the way out. Can you take me to the leprechauns?"


"You want to see the leprechauns? Are you dull in the head?"


"I like bacon, yes."


The leshy's eyes twinkle with fear. "Clearly, you're mentally unhinged. Just like those poor leprechauns. If I take you to them, promise you'll leave me and my family alone."


"Sure."


You follow the leshy into a glade, within a glen, within a gorge, within a holler, within a hollow, within a dell, within a dale, within a dingle, within a canyon, within a vale within the Valley of Rainbows. The trip is quite, shall I say, trippy.


The leshy points to a pool of water where all the rainbows spring forth. "I'm not getting any closer. Give the leprechauns my condolences, and please don't murder rape my family. Good day." The leshy leaves in a hurry without another word.


You approach the pool with eager enthusiasm and the leprechauns begin to appear from the surrounding trees…


...


Why are you stopping?


I'm sorry. It's too depressing. Give the leprechauns my condolences as well, poor sorry bastards.