Yep, nothing cooler than being in a gang. Sellin drugs, bustin' caps, smackin' the hoes…

No wait; you're a goddamn suburbanite, meaning the gangs in your "hood" are made up of a bunch of wannabe wiggers that learned everything about the "gangsta" lifestyle by watching rap videos. At best you'll probably just be smoking pot, drinking beer and talkin' a lot of shit. Still, it's cooler than what you're doing now.

You aren't sure of how to go about this though. You know there are "gang members" in your school that you could approach, but maybe you'd have an easier time joining a gang where the people don't actually know you.

You join a different gang

You don't think the guys in your school will accept you since they already now how lame you are, so you decide to join a different gang. You know of a bunch of mean looking guys who all hang out with each other a few miles from your house in a more remote area. You never really paid attention to what they're all about, but they seem like they're a gang, so you decide to check 'em out.

You head over to the area where you see a bunch of vans and bikes parked outside a run down looking house. You hear partying going on and music, then as you get closer you hear the sound of a shotgun being racked.

"Alright, just turn around boy. Slowly."
"Holy shit mister! I don't want no trouble" you say turning around to see a fat man in overalls.
"Yeah? Well you just might be in a whole mess of it. Whatchu doin' here sneakin' around on private property? You a jew?"
"Uh, no…I just, well I passed by here once or twice before and I noticed you guys. And I was looking if I could join your gang."
"Join our gang? Ha ha! Shit boy! We ain't no gang!"
"Um, you're not?"
"Hell naw! Only niggers and spics have gangs! We're an organization dedicated to the purity of the white race!"
"Oh."
"Hey, your blood's pure isn't it? I mean you ain't got some mud race mixed with you do ya? You ain't no faggot are ya?"
"Um no, and no."
"Well hell, come on in and meet the rest of the folks! As long as you're white yer all right!"

Not really sure of how to act, you go along with the big guy holding the shotgun. You meet lots of people, most of which have shaved heads and swastikas tattoos. There are a few women there, but everyone is definitely a white supremacist.

Oddly they're also all friendly with you. In fact you think this is the only time you've ever been treated okay by a large group of people. One of them tells you that he thinks you just feel alienated because as a white person you've been fed evil Jewish propaganda to feel ashamed of yourself, but they say when the revolution comes, good white people will be able to take the country back like God intended.

Again, you're not sure what to make of all this, but you're so glad for acceptance that you agree to listen to more Nazi philosophy.

A few months go by you're pretty much a believer, as the head of the local American Nazi Party chapter Daniel Count manages to weave half truths, misinformation and outright lies into your willing little head which is now twisted completely into believing things like Hitler being the true messiah for the white race.

You end up getting expelled from school when you openly say that the Holocaust didn't happen and that the Jew is using the black man as muscle to keep the white man down. Naturally your parents, as fucked up as they are, don't approve of this sort of behavior and try to put you into therapy, but you call them race traitors and run away from home to your new skinhead buddies who embrace you with open arms where you have a great time with all of them.

Finally you've found a place that accepts you.

Unfortunately for you, this skinhead hangout has been under FBI watch for months and one day they have enough evidence to finally bust the lot of them for owning and trading illegal weapons mostly of military ordinance. You happen to be there when the shit goes down.

The FBI storm the compound which results in a violent shootout. You join in to help your fellows, but are shot in the back by an undercover FBI agent before you even get a chance to kill any of the evil Zionists.

Well they might've "Saved Hitler's Brain" but nothing is saving your dead ass.

The moral of the story?

You joined a bunch of fuckin' Nazis, ya dumb shit; what the fuck did you think was going to happen?

Even if you're not into the whole liberal PC shit, you should've remembered at least one thing…

Being a racist typically limits your pussy seeking options down to only white women (and usually only ugly white women at that) and as a hetero male, you want to ALWAYS leave those options as open as possible, not limit them.

Anyway, the Nazis LOST the goddamn war, meaning you basically sided with losers; hence you were a loser, and got yourself killed ya racist fucktard!

Where's your Hitler now? Nyaah!

And now you know!