No, no, no, no! The movie sounds like it sucks and you're not going to deal with Mary after all the shit you got yourself into last time with her.

"Fuck that Erik, there's gotta be something else!"
"Well there's a comic convention that needs another guest speaker…"

You slam the phone down. You need to get out of the house. You decide to go for a walk in the forest.
You wander around in the calmness of the forest and nature in general. Sometimes you wonder if you shouldn't just go back to living in the wild. Things were certainly simpler then. While you're thinking about the nostalgia of the old days, you see a very large hairy body lying prone in the distance.

"What the fuck…how the hell…" you mumble to yourself while going over to investigate. When you arrive, its exactly who you thought it was, though you don't understand how you couldn't have heard him lumbering through the forest given how big he is, let alone seen him.

"Hey Kong! You alive? Wake up!" you shout. Kong stirs a little and then sits up to yawn. He scratches his now silverback and looks over at you.
"Wolf? What're you doing here?"
"Me? I live just a few miles away! What're you doing here and how is it that I didn't see or hear you crashing through the forest?"
"Oh I can be pretty silent when I want to be."
"Okay, but what're you doing here?"
"Back to nature my friend. Nancy kicked me out of the house. For good this time, she said she can't put up with my chauvinism any more. All I told her was to get her ass back in the kitchen and make me a banana split and serve it to me naked."
"Sounds like a reasonable request, so what happened?"
"She went into the kitchen, came back out with a frying pan of hot grease, threw the shit on me and kicked me in the balls, before shoving me out the door and calling me a fucking backward primate."

You hold back some laughter, before speaking again.

"Tough break there Kong, but I guess you could look on the bright side, you're back to your roots with no more cares anymore. Living free in the wild and all."
"Are you on fucking crack Wolf? It sucks! You know when I lived on Skull Island I didn't know any better, but in the last few days I've come to realize living in a warm HOUSE and sleeping in a bed is way better than living in the cold wild and sleeping on the ground where bugs crawl all over you!"

Kong's remarks certainly have made you reconsider your previous nostalgia of the old days.

"Well, can't you just make up with Nancy? Surely if she's put up with you this long and if you apologized and did all that romantic crap she'd let you back in."
"Don't think so Wolf, I never was good at that, besides she's got a restraining order on me too."
"What else did you do to her?"
"Nothing! She's just being a crazy bitch, that's unwilling to listen to reason. Well unwilling to listen to me anyway. Hey Wolf, you've always been a smooth talker with ladies. Maybe you could talk some sense into her for me."
"Uh, I dunno Kong I don't really like getting into the middle of shit like this, don't you have someplace else to stay, hey what about your cousin Joe?"
"I'm not staying with him! He's a fucking fag!"
"Well, beggars can't be chooser Kong, besides he's your cousin it's not like you have worry about him trying any ass pirate shit on you. I'm sure he's got a nice house too."
"Yeah, I guess…but I'd still prefer to go back to my own home, and I'm not sure if Joe would let me stay anyway. You gotta help me out Wolf, Nancy kicked me out with nothing, and I don't even have any money in the bank. I don't want to be living in the fucking wilderness again!"

You normally aren't one to help someone for no reason, but there's the fact that you don't want him living that close to you, you don't relish the idea of him taking big healthy dumps in a forest you live near, so to avoid wearing a clothespin on your nose for the rest of your time living here, you decide to help Kong.

You memories (Nancy)

The 50ft Woman: Nancy Archer

If you were gigantic freak, you certainly would've tried to tap that ass, hell if you just had a freakishly gigantic dick, you would've tried to tap that ass, but some things just aren't meant to be.

Nancy was just a normal rich human woman who was stuck in a bad marriage with an abusive cheating husband. The intelligent thing for her to have done would've been to leave him, but she had incredibly low self esteem due to his verbal abuse as well. So she just took all his abuse with a smile.

Then one day some alien teenagers were fucking around with their toys on humans as usual and she got hit with some "Giant Ray". She was horrified at first, but yet liberated. Her new size predictably had given her confidence. She didn't waste any time, she immediately squashed her two timing abusive hubby and started a new life for herself. She did a few movies, but her main thing was modeling, mainly on those big billboards. Cancer sticks were popular back then so she had all kinds of contracts with cigarette companies. She was also a supporter of women's' rights and was also a big feminist.
She invented the slogan "You've come a long way baby"

However, despite all her new found freedom and her new life, she was still deep down unfulfilled. For whatever reason, she still wanted someone in her life, she had some suitors, but turned them all down and it was around that time when Kong was down on his luck and they met. It seems strange that Nancy would be interested in him, as he wasn't the most "enlightened male" (Compared to him, you were considered pretty "forward thinking") however that might've been why she fell for Kong. She felt that she failed at her past marriage by not trying hard enough to change him and just avoided the problem by stomping it into a bloody pulp. Kong was a chauvinist dick, and had problems controlling his anger. This would be her second chance! Apparently Nancy still had some issues.

All of which goes to confirm what you've known all along, they can talk all they want about how they want a sensitive guy that does all that romantic shit 24/7, but more often than not chicks always fall for the dick.