"The trouble is that this poison must be ingested or applied to a blade, simply splashing your opponent with it will not suffice." 

 
"But how will anyone even get that far?  Without royal aid, how can anyone even hope to reach the Craxil?"

 
At this point, many in the council are reminded of your exploits at last year's "capture the flag" contests.  In fact, at every annual festival you manage to outfox your opponents, evade their numbers, and sneak up on their flag.  Your success record was almost unrealistic.  Suddenly, the council gets it in their minds to send you in with the poison.  In fact, you're alarmed by how quickly they're all agreeing to this idea despite the fact you haven't yet.  Then again, you've always sensed that as a swineherd you've never really been well liked or considered "valuable" by the townsfolk so this response isn't entirely unexpected.

 
Nonetheless, you aren't going to go anywhere or do anything that you haven't agreed to do first.  Unlike the others in the room, Brandolf has the decency to walk up and ask your opinion on the matter.  He is usually dismissive of stupid ideas, but he seems to think this one might actually work.  You take a moment to decide how to respond.

You refuse The Offer And Tell The Assholes In Your Community Where They Can Shove Their New Idea

The people of Jacquescrappe have never really treated you with respect and you never really liked them either.  Moreover, you are offended by how many of them just agreed to send you in without even bothering to ask you how YOU felt about the idea.  You decide to return to your swineherding responsibilities and let the rest of the townspeople try to figure this out for themselves.  "Fuck 'em" you think as you leave the council chambers and return to the fields.

 
In the weeks that followed, several intrepid individuals attempted to reach the Craxil and never returned.  Many townspeople gathered together all the gold they had in hopes of putting together a reward for a worthy adventurer who might succeed in this task.  Many others were sent to the royal palace, begging desperately and fruitlessly for military assistance in their remote and low value settlement.  In the end, all these events failed and soon, the raids returned.

 
If the townspeople didn't like you before, they certainly hated you now.  While before you would sometimes get dirty looks or the occasional one word answer, they now ignore you completely wherever you go.  You insist that you had every right to refuse such a foolish plan, but most just dismiss you as being a selfish bastard.  You return to the fields to talk to "oinky" and "snout", the only friends that haven't turned their backs on you yet.

 
In the monthes that followed, numerous people are dragged off into the mountainside, never to be heard from again.  You smile as the fat hog of a woman with a barbed tounge that pissed you off the most is seen screaming while in the grasp of one of these creatures.  However, one night while you are cleaning up the digested remains of oinky's chili burritos you are surprised by two humunculi.  You may have enjoyed it when others you didn't like so much got carried off, but this time it is you.  You are never heard from again.

 

 
THE END