You wake up to another day in your sheltered little world.

"Sheltered" is probably a little inaccurate, but you're about as close as you can get in your dysfunctional family.

Your upbringing for you and all your siblings, quite frankly sucked, and it made you very introverted and unmotivated. It's probably why you're over 18 and still living at home.

You're a basement dweller.

However we shouldn't be too hard on you. Your other four siblings are also living at home along with a few other freeloading family members. You just happen to be living in the basement.

Fucked up parenting aside, you actually have potential, if you'd just break out of your shell. You aren't unintelligent. You at least graduated high school, watch the learning/history channel and read weird shit on the internet all day.

You aren't even unattractive, though your mom always drilled it into you and your sisters head that you were always to be "good girls". It only really worked on you though; as a result you've never had a boyfriend. (Or girlfriend for that matter) You don't even have that much contact with the world outside your house anymore. The world's a dangerous place and you feel much safer in your house.

Again, this thinking of yours is misguided as being out of the house of your crazy ass family would probably be a lot safer. Of course you rarely even leave the basement nowadays anyway. Seems like your world is getting smaller with each passing day.

Of course you could do something a little out of the ordinary today and try to change your lot in life.

How about it? Want to give it that old college try? (Even though you never went to college?)

You who the hell are all these fucked up people in your house? (Cast of Characters)

Suzy: This is you. We already went over what the fuck your problem was on the first page. Let's move on shall we?

Ben: This is your older brother and the oldest of your siblings. He's a paranoid survivalist nut that trains for inevitable apocalypse that's going to come. He walks around armed at all times and is convinced that THEY are out to get him. He also has a misguided biracial hippy girlfriend by the name of Moonshadow and an illegitimate son with her by the name of Tommy who is an idiot savant. Currently they all live out in the backyard though Ben's been building an underground bunker of some sort out there.

Kelly: This is your Amazonian older sister. She's in a small time roller derby league and has been known to do some illegal underground fight club shit on the side. She's probably the only one in the house that has closest thing to a "real" job. Kelly's never liked you, for various reasons. When you two were growing up she'd always try to take every opportunity she could to abuse you in some way. Fortunately she's mostly too busy working to engage in physical or psychological torture on you nowadays.

Peter: This is your younger brother. He's a pretentious effeminate aspiring film maker who has the annoying habit of attempting to record everything with his camcorder. Has the disturbing habit of stealing your clothes and wearing them. He also hangs out with a junkie drug dealer from school by the name of Kevin who is always lecherously looking at you when you're around.

Donna: This is your younger sister and the youngest of your siblings. She's probably the most "normal" out of all of you. Perhaps a little on the wild side, but nothing excessively out of hand, basically your typical high school girl who hangs out with others similar to her. She's probably the most alright with you, though sometimes she urges that you should get out more.

Dad: This is your Dad (George McCray is his real name). He used to be a traveling lightning rod salesman. He's retired now and hasn't really been the same since your Mom died. He's usually in various stages of drunkenness and nobody much pays any serious attention to him anymore. It's not like he was around for the parenting process anyway.

Mom: This is your Mom (Bertha McCray is her real name). Despite her overprotective moralist views on how you and your sisters should act, she was probably the one who kept some semblance of order on the family. When the flesh eating virus consumed her years ago, everyone missed her a lot especially your dad. Eventually she was cremated and her ashes are kept in your Dad's room.

Ed: This is your really creepy uncle and brother of your late mother. It was her dying wish that he have some place to stay, so he lives in the garage which he's pretty much made his domain as most other family members stay clear of him, even Ben. He doesn't have any visible means of support yet contributes to the household at times. There are certainly rumors and whispers of what he might be up to when he leaves and comes back at various hours of the night, but nobody really wants to talk to him directly about it, let alone go in the garage and find out.

Julie: This is your "best friend" since kindergarten, who you speak to less and less with each passing year. As you grew older the pair of you had very different lives. Julie was very wild in her teenage years and still is today. It is only due to the fact that you knew each other for so long that you two are even still in contact. She's probably remained in contact with you mainly because you are about the only stable person in her life that she feels that she can talk to on a serious level about shit that sometimes bothers her.

The Morningstars: While your family on the block is rightfully seen as the most dysfunctional lot to live there, The Morningstars are definitely running a close second. They've converted their house into something of a compound. There seems to be a bunch of them of varying ages and gender, but "Pa" Morningstar and his eldest son Bobby Morningstar stand out the most. They mostly keep to themselves, though recently Uncle Ed has been asking a few random questions about them sometimes.