Sure sports, that's always a good way to conform and it does attract the ladies usually. A lot better than joining the chess club would anyway.

You're unsure of what to pick, so you go by the old chestnut and pick football…

After laughing his ass off the coach actually gives you a chance at training, as it turns out, you aren't completely inept, but you don't really have ability that makes you stand out. You'll probably get cut and then you'll be back where you started and you don't want that.

While you're sitting in the locker room wondering what the hell you're going to do, one of your team mates approaches you.

"Hey, I saw you out there, you looked pretty good."

Immediately you go on the defensive.

"Hey, hey! I ain't into that gay shit!" you exclaim protectively grabbing your dick and backing your ass against the wall.
"What? Oh. Ha ha! No! No, I was just saying you probably got what it takes to make the team, but you just need that extra edge. I mean who has time to waste doing all that training right? I'd rather be spending my free time fucking the sluts and partying, y'know what I'm sayin'? That's why I take this!"

Your teammate shows you a needle.

"Is that…"
"Yep, steroids! Combine it with these pain killers…" He shows you a bag of pills. "And you got what Legends are made of!"
"Um…aren't those like illegal?"
"Fuck yeah! But what are you some fucking choir boy? You wanna get on the team and fuck all those pretty cheerleader bitches you better start taking this shit. What's the big deal? All the pros use them!"

You no! You'll make the team on your own! Determination is all you need!

Drugs are for losers! You saw that movie, about that guy, who had a lot of heart or something! And you saw that other movie about that other guy, who had a lot of heart or something! In fact you've seen A LOT of movies about "that guy, who had a lot of heart or something" you can't remember any of their names, but if they can all do it, you certainly can!

You turn down the drugs and start training a lot harder and trying to focus on the prize. You get that fuckin' eye of the goddamn tiger! Yeah! Ain't nothing going to stop you! You're gonna get on the team, become popular, and date the head cheerleader because if there's anything you've learned from movies it's that NOTHING can triumph over the human spirit!

Though the better thing to have learned would've been that real life ain't a fucking movie!

The next time you go to tryouts you're so fucking cocksure that you end up not protecting yourself as much as you sure and when you get hit hard by one of your team mates you get SERIOUSLY injured.

Like really bad.

No, seriously, you get really fucked up…A LOT.

In fact you're a damn vegetable.

Of course you don't stay that way for long, as your parents aren't religious and as such don't feel your life is worth anything to them anymore so they authorize the doctors to pull the plug. Its kindest thing they've ever done for you.

The moral of the story?

Don't try out for a team that you have no business trying out for in some inane quest to be popular. All the "heart" in the world doesn't mean shit when you got a 400 pound asshole slamming into you with the power of a small bull elephant and your own body frame is more like that of a half starved pigmy marmoset!

Now the chess club? Yeah, maybe that's not gonna get you the head cheerleader, but you probably could've at least gotten to third base with the asthmatic girl who drools when you kiss her!

And now you know!