"Well, I think it's a lost cause with your wife, and to be quite honest I don't want to get caught up in the drama, but I can go talk with your cousin Joe if you want." You say.

Kong looks disappointed by your remark, and agonizes over making a decision, but finally gives you the okay.

"Alright Wolf, but I don't like this."
"You'll like it even less, if you have to live out here, now gimme the address."

Kong gives you the address and you go back to your cabin, start up your Harley and ride off. You don't really have a plan, you're just going to fumble through as usual, and you just hope Joe doesn't hit on you.

When you get to the house its very large like you expected, but not overly so. You notice the exterior is kept in very good condition, you have no doubt the inside looks like that as well. You get to the door and ring a doorbell that has been conveniently placed at your height level for normal sized guests.

Joe opens the door and looks down.

"Wolf? Well this IS a pleasant surprise! What brings you here, you perfect specimen of male?"

Well no such luck of him not hitting on you.

"Settle down there Joe, I'm just here to talk about your cousin Kong."
"Oh. Well what about him?"
"He got kicked out by wife Nancy and now he's living in a forest near my cabin, so can he stay here?"
"So, Nancy finally threw that scrub to the curb eh? It's about time girlfriend did that! Even I told her it was a bad idea for her to marry him. Well you have my sympathies Wolf, but I'm not having that homophobe living here! Though if you like YOU can live here!"
"Uh, no. Besides I'm a homophobe too."
"Yes, but you're a cute one!"
"So all the GIRLS tell me. Look isn't there anyway you'd reconsider? I mean he is family and all. I could tell him to behave himself, and he probably would since he really doesn't want to be living in the wilderness again."
"Well…I guess, but surely you've noticed this place really isn't built to accommodate his size. He's a lot bigger than me you know."

You could kick yourself for not realizing that before. You sigh, but ask if there are any arrangements that could be made.

"Isn't there anywhere here he could stay?"
"Not unless I had a giant addition built on to my house and I'm not about to do that, I have this house just perfect the way it is."
"How about your backyard? Don't you have a large backyard with a garden?"
"Yes I do, and I'm not about to have that lug crushing all my flowers! However there is a nearby cave that's in the backyard that could accommodate him. But I'm having problems with my backyard in general which I'm trying to fix as we speak."
"What kind of problems?"
"My garden has been infested with those awful Triffids! Horrid things, making that noise and killing my workers! It's really ruining my business at this point. I'd get rid of them, but they're much too nasty for me! Those stingers hurt!"

You already know what he's going to ask you, so you beat him to it.

"If I get rid of these things can Kong stay in the cave?"
"You'd do that? Oh thank you! And yes, if you saved my garden I'd take my cousin in."

Well that's settled, get rid of the Triffids and Kong can stay, now you just have to figure out how to do it.

You use more chemical means

You have no idea why the hell Joe hasn't just gotten some heavy duty weed killer. You tell Joe you'll be back and zoom off to the nearest hardware store, where you buy a big tank of the stuff with what little money you have.

When you come back you head straight to the backyard where the Triffids sense new fertilizer and begin to slowly scuttle towards you. You put on a mask and begin to spray the area. The toxic gas does its work and the Triffids begin to die, along with every other plant in the backyard, you've just destroyed Joe's garden!

Just then, Joe comes out to see why there's a toxic cloud in his yard and is horrified by what you've done.

"MY GARDEN! WHAT DID YOU DO!?!" Joe cries.
"I killed the Triffids just like you wanted."
"YOU KILLED MY GARDEN! You fucking idiot! Why the hell did you use poison?! You were supposed to rip them out by hand!"
"Oh so it was okay for me to get stung right? Fuck that, you never said how I was supposed to kill them."
"It should've been obvious not to use poison you goddamn moron!"
"Well shit, I'm not a botanist, how the fuck was I supposed to know."
"Oh God! My business is ruined! I'm finished! (Sob!)"
"Yeah, um, sorry about that. Look I'm just going to leave now…okay then."

You leave Joe to his tears and ride back home. You then walk back to where Kong is.

"Okay I think you can stay at Joe's, he's got a cave in his backyard, you can take up residence in, it's better than nothing."
"I suppose so; I just hope he doesn't pitch a bitch at me if I accidentally step on a couple of his faggot ass flowers."
"I don't think you'll ever have to be worrying about that Kong."