Iknow5/Text_Adventures huggingface dataset:
You decide to buy more useless shit. You can never have enough, you fuckin' obsessed pack rat.

Okay well some of this shit isn't useless, and might even do you some good. Certain items catch your eye.

You see a car that's made completely out of asbestos! How cool would that be? You could drive through fire and be none the worse for wear! True you rarely go out anymore, but maybe this would be the thing that could do it!

You see a bomb shelter for sale made of xentronium armor. Could be useful in these dangerous times we live in and it'll definitely provide you more protection than the basement.

There's a small island made of Styrofoam in the middle of the ocean. It says it's held together by hemp. While you've never been one for the beaches and sun, you wonder if you could rent it out some how. Maybe movie producers would pay you to use it or something.

Actually perhaps something more practical might be good, there's some toilet paper for sale. You know you always need that!

Finally, you see a building for sale; it doesn't really give a description. It just says "Generic Gray Building" It might be a good thing to invest in since you're getting tired of hearing your Mom's moans of ecstasy at night when she's masturbating with her 400 horse powered vibrator. A place of your own might be in order.

You buy the island! It's an investment!

You decide to get the island. Its only $50! Someone attempts to buy it for $100, but you outbid them to a whopping $150. You begin to daydream about what'll happen if you actually win the bid. You think about all the bad B-movies that take place on islands and how directors are always looking to use cheaper sets. You could rent it out for that, or possibly a cheap "island getaway" substitute for people that don't want to spend that much on a vacation. You'll have to check it out. It suddenly occurs to you that maybe people are already living on the island. Hey maybe the island will already have those topless island babes that you've seen in your "nature" magazine under your bed!

You snap out of your day dream only to realize that you've won the bid! You clap you hands and dance around in celebration like a monkey on crack.

Eventually you receive the exact location and make arrangements to go to the island. After a short trip to the ocean and a boat trip you are now on YOUR island. Time to explore!

You enter the jungle

You enter the jungle. You appreciate the beauty that is the lush green jungle. This really is a nice island you think. However the cannibals on the island think it's pretty nice too. In fact you made it even nicer for them; nothing tastes better to them than virgin flesh…

They hunt you, trap you, kill you and eat you.
(Not necessarily in that order!)

They end up selling your skull on Ebay for $500, which they use to build a new menstrual hut.
You decide to get the island. Its only $50! Someone attempts to buy it for $100, but you outbid them to a whopping $150. You begin to daydream about what'll happen if you actually win the bid. You think about all the bad B-movies that take place on islands and how directors are always looking to use cheaper sets. You could rent it out for that, or possibly a cheap "island getaway" substitute for people that don't want to spend that much on a vacation. You'll have to check it out. It suddenly occurs to you that maybe people are already living on the island. Hey maybe the island will already have those topless island babes that you've seen in your "nature" magazine under your bed!

You snap out of your day dream only to realize that you've won the bid! You clap you hands and dance around in celebration like a monkey on crack.

Eventually you receive the exact location and make arrangements to go to the island. After a short trip to the ocean and a boat trip you are now on YOUR island. Time to explore!

You walk along the shore

You walk along the shore, marveling at the fact this island is made completely out of Styrofoam and held together by hemp.

In your wonder, you begin to inspect the hemp ropes which are holding the pieces of Styrofoam together.

In your curiosity you begin to pick at a frayed rope…

And in your stupidity, you've just unraveled the entire island!

Well so much for renting this place, you attempt to paddle your way back to shore on a piece of Styrofoam, but you're eaten by a very large seagull flying overhead.

Fortunately it swallowed you whole, but its digestive juices are going to make quick work of you if you don't do something to escape, so you figure fleeing through its asshole is the best way to do this.

Fighting through the intestinal tract of the seagull to get to the "exit", might sound like a novel idea, but it does have its consequences. First of all you're a mile above the earth and over the water. So assuming you managed to survive the fall out of the bird's rectum, you'd still have to contend with minor problem of drowning and sharks.

Second, you've done quite a bit of damage to the bird itself by crawling around in it; in fact you've ruptured and punctured some vital organs. It's dying and now falling at a terrific speed.

You jump out of the rectum and try to swim to land

Well you jump out and survive the fall, and since you do know how to swim pretty well, you also survive the drowning.

However you don't survive the sharks…
You walk along the shore, marveling at the fact this island is made completely out of Styrofoam and held together by hemp.

In your wonder, you begin to inspect the hemp ropes which are holding the pieces of Styrofoam together.

In your curiosity you begin to pick at a frayed rope…

And in your stupidity, you've just unraveled the entire island!

Well so much for renting this place, you attempt to paddle your way back to shore on a piece of Styrofoam, but you're eaten by a very large seagull flying overhead.

Fortunately it swallowed you whole, but its digestive juices are going to make quick work of you if you don't do something to escape, so you figure fleeing through its asshole is the best way to do this.

Fighting through the intestinal tract of the seagull to get to the "exit", might sound like a novel idea, but it does have its consequences. First of all you're a mile above the earth and over the water. So assuming you managed to survive the fall out of the bird's rectum, you'd still have to contend with minor problem of drowning and sharks.

Second, you've done quite a bit of damage to the bird itself by crawling around in it; in fact you've ruptured and punctured some vital organs. It's dying and now falling at a terrific speed.

You stay in the seagull and try to shift its weight towards land

You take a running push up against the seagull's slowly beating heart, killing it instantly, but you knocked it just enough so its body would crash on land.

And it crashes in a spectacular bloody fashion, fortunately you used its liver as a cushion to survive the fall, you remain unharmed and in desperate need of a bath. You head home with 20 hungry cats following close behind.
You decide to buy more useless shit. You can never have enough, you fuckin' obsessed pack rat.

Okay well some of this shit isn't useless, and might even do you some good. Certain items catch your eye.

You see a car that's made completely out of asbestos! How cool would that be? You could drive through fire and be none the worse for wear! True you rarely go out anymore, but maybe this would be the thing that could do it!

You see a bomb shelter for sale made of xentronium armor. Could be useful in these dangerous times we live in and it'll definitely provide you more protection than the basement.

There's a small island made of Styrofoam in the middle of the ocean. It says it's held together by hemp. While you've never been one for the beaches and sun, you wonder if you could rent it out some how. Maybe movie producers would pay you to use it or something.

Actually perhaps something more practical might be good, there's some toilet paper for sale. You know you always need that!

Finally, you see a building for sale; it doesn't really give a description. It just says "Generic Gray Building" It might be a good thing to invest in since you're getting tired of hearing your Mom's moans of ecstasy at night when she's masturbating with her 400 horse powered vibrator. A place of your own might be in order.

You buy the toilet paper! It's the soft kind!

Well last time your Mom went to the supermarket she couldn't find the soft kind. In fact, she never can find it. It's almost like there's a conspiracy and the super markets hide it before she gets there. Either that or she just enjoys torturing you with toilet paper that feels more like sandpaper.

But this isn't about your paranoia, and you manage to find some toilet paper for $5, 1000 rolls of it! You buy it immediately and soon it arrives magically in front of your house. You find out why it was so cheap.

It's wet and USED…

You keep it, because youre cheap

You really can't see anyone buying your shitty toilet paper; you're still not sure why you wanted to buy it so bad yourself. Perhaps you have toilet training issues, but this isn't about your screwed up childhood, this is about how you wasted your money! Or have you?

Upon closer inspection you realize that this is the genuine toilet paper of Elvis! You can tell by the wiping signature! You sell it back to Graceland for millions! You then proceed to buy up other famous used toilet paper and selling them, making even more millions!

Finally you decide to get out of the business and retire to your bomb shelter on your very own Styrofoam island where you live comfortably for the rest of your life.

And perhaps when you die, YOUR toilet paper will sell for millions.
Well last time your Mom went to the supermarket she couldn't find the soft kind. In fact, she never can find it. It's almost like there's a conspiracy and the super markets hide it before she gets there. Either that or she just enjoys torturing you with toilet paper that feels more like sandpaper.

But this isn't about your paranoia, and you manage to find some toilet paper for $5, 1000 rolls of it! You buy it immediately and soon it arrives magically in front of your house. You find out why it was so cheap.

It's wet and USED…

You try to sell it as art

You re-sell it as art. You list it as a great ornamental garden piece. Bio-degradable and good for the soil.

Yeah, you ALMOST believe that yourself. You do get a bid from some idiot though for $350, you figure you've made a large profit already, so you sell.

"Ha Ha! What a sucker!" you think.

Well think again toilet boy, turns out it was more valuable than you thought! It was the same toilet paper used by Elvis the day he died on the toilet! The "idiot" sells it back to Graceland for millions, and spends it on cars, girls and drugs.

You spend your $350 on more used toilet paper in the misguided attempt to get someone else's famous toilet paper, but it turns out to be only Pat Boone's and is worthless.
You begin to fire, but you BB Gun has absolutely no effect on the thing. It reaches you in no time, but not before you smash it in the face with the gun, breaking it into pieces. This temporarily stuns the beast, which allows you to take your knife and start stabbing the shit out of it. It howls and knocks you to the ground with one paw, reeling back from its bloody wound. It sprints to the other side of the building but looks to be preparing for another assault.

You actually hope it does. You've never felt so alive...

You look for something else to attack it

It occurs to you, you got lucky with the knife, you need to use one the other many objects you brought with you before hell hounds were on your trail.

You hastily look into your pockets for something and find some marbles. You throw them on the ground in the hopes that the Beast will slip up.

The Beast crushes the marbles underfoot as it advances! You just barely manage to dive out of the way, as it tries to plow into you. The Beast cracks its head into the solid concrete wall and emits a painful howl. Now's your chance!

You jump on the back of the Beast and start stabbing it in the back! It howls even more and attempts to get you off of it. You are relentless! You drive the knife in and grab hold of its spine! You pull part of it out! The Beast collapses unable to move, but still wailing. You finish it off by plunging the knife into its black heart.

You're winded, you're hot, you're sweaty and you're covered in blood. And now it appears the other wolves have finally come through the now shattered door. The wolves all seem to whimper as they sense the power of the Beast is now within you. You look at the pack, and YOU are its master now. And you feel the urge to hunt...

You have embarked on a very strange new path.
You quickly close the door and try to piece together what the fuck just happened!

You don't have as much time as you like though. Those wolves you heard earlier, must've caught your scent, because there's a pack of them on a nearby hill. The leader is jet black, has red eyes and has gotta be a mutant of some sort because he's got six legs and is fuckin' HUGE!
He sees you and howls an unearthly howl calling his fellows after you.

They'll be upon you soon and you're not gonna make it to your car in time.

You shoot them with your BB Gun

Your BB Gun is NOT a suitable weapon! Especially not against Fenris over there. You manage to run back into the building and decide to take your chances with the village. At least they're human.

You run back inside, but the village and jungle have been replaced by a battlefield. Apparently, you're no longer in the building at all anymore. A mortar shell hits close by, when suddenly you're pulled in by some woman in a fox hole. She asks you what the hell you are doing. Her uniform isn't recognizable; in fact the surroundings are even a little strange looking. The sky's green for one thing.

You attempt to explain yourself, but she doesn't seem too surprised and just hands you a real weapon and mutters something to herself about how the Kragan's time/dimension experiments have fucked everything up. You ask her what's going on, but she says she'll explain everything later if you both get out of your current situation alive. She starts firing at a strange looking creature and tells you to move it. You both run as fast as you can as you see strange looking planes flying overhead which proceed to bomb the hell out of the enemy behind you.

You both dive for cover again as the explosion occurs. The woman surprisingly laughs at all of this. You on the hand are a nervous wreck. She notices this and kisses you.

You don't know what the hell's going on, but this isn't ALL bad. After she's done, she says you have to get moving again. You ask her what that was all about.

"Well you're cute and when you face death all the time, you gotta seize the moment sometimes. Plus I think you need something good to happen to you after walking into that Gray building."

You look surprised; you never got around to telling her that.

"Let me guess, Gray building on Ebay right?"

Looks like you just stepped into something REALLY weird, but at least you got a new girlfriend out of it.
You cautiously enter the building, but not before you take your Limited Edition Red Rider BB Gun with you.

Nothing!

There's absolutely nothing in here! No illegal underground sex club, no "Area 51" like facility. Nothing.

You can't help being slightly disappointed; well at least you don't have to worry though, its big enough to hold all your shit.

You go back to your car and proceed to gather your belongings. You kick the door open and are surprised by what you see!

You see a jungle like area, with a primitive village inside! There ARE some natives roaming around, but they haven't noticed you yet. They may or may not be friendly.

This is fuckin' bizarre to say the least!

You enter the village

You enter the village, taking your BB gun with you and some of your other stuff.

The villagers see you, but don't attack. They're more curious than anything, especially with all the wonderful things you're carrying, suddenly you got a million hands grabbing at you.

You let them take the stuff, which they seem pretty pleased about. They give you some precious gems in return! You tell them, you have more gifts for them. You run out to your car, get more stuff and give it to them. This earns you more gems AND a chance to sleep with the chieftain's twin bisexual daughters!

You fuckin' rule!

In fact you rule so much, they think of you as some kind of god. This isn't as fortunate as you might think...

It seems they want to EAT you, and become one with their god. They believe since you are a supernatural being, killing your body will be of minor consequence to you. Nothing could be further from the truth!

Grabbing your clothes you begin running butt ass naked through the jungle with the entire tribe chasing you, whooping it up. They think this is a fuckin' test!

You run!

As you run you attempt to avoid protruding branches that could severely damage your tender bits.

As you get to the shore you trip over a piece of hemp rope. Sonofabitch! This is that Styrofoam Island! As the natives close in, you get an idea to start picking at the hemp rope. It works! You have successfully unraveled the piece that you were standing on from the rest of the island.

The natives shout something at you in an indecipherable language (Which is odd since they were speaking perfect English when you were friends with them) as you make your good escape on the drifting Styrofoam. You put your clothes back on and wait to reach the mainland.

The tribe suffers greatly however. They think they've failed a great test and commit ritualistic mass suicide.
Face it; you don't really have that much of a personality, so instead of buying any one of the more "interesting" items, you decide to get the dull gray building to match your life. Its only $2000 and nobody else wants it, so you get it with relative ease.

Alright! A place of your own, no more having to quickly erase the porn on the computer or explaining to Mom why your pants are off anymore!

After you receive the location, you quickly start packing up your shit. Until you realize you've got a lot of it. Hmmm, you don't really feel like moving it all and you briefly think about selling some of your shit on Ebay, but as usual you can't bear to part with anything. Where else are you gonna get a genuine Hitler Pez dispenser? Or the rare gay version of Star Wars? Or even that picture of you with Boudicca's ghost?

Besides you don't want to waste anymore time on Ebay today. You're in a rare adventurous spirit and really wanna find out what this building's all about. You load up your Mom's car with as much shit as you can and drive to the building's location. It takes you a day to get there, but you finally do it.

You're here at the Gray Building. You're also in the middle of nowhere! You can hear a pack of ravenous wolves in the distance. There's only one door and no windows. Looks pretty ominous actually. Like a place where they'd do a snuff film, or perform secret government experiments.

Well in any case you DO own it, so maybe you should find out!

You inspect the outside of the building

You inspect the outside, but there's nothing unusual. It's just concrete, no windows, or other doors at all.

You make your way back to the front of the building and the door is gone! You could've sworn it was right there! You search and search, but to no avail. It's just solid concrete now. You're search more, but you see some wolves up on a nearby hill that look very dangerous, so you decide to leave and come back tomorrow.

When you come back, the entire building is gone! There's no trace of it. You can't figure it out! This WAS the right location. This is very strange. Maybe you made a mistake and need to travel further up the road.

You travel further up the road

You drive a little further up the road, still nothing. You're about to give up when then you see it again. You see the Grey Building. You guess you just didn't realize it was further than you thought.

The Grey Building stands before you and there's the door, so you can go in if you want.

You go in the Grey Building

You enter the Grey building and suddenly feel a strike to the back of the head.

"THIS IS MY GREY BUILDING! DIE INTERLOPER!" a voice shouts as you try to get back up. A heavy boot kicks you in the face and everything goes black.

The last thing you hear is a rusty chainsaw.
The last thing you feel is that chainsaw entering your back.
The last thing you think is that this is the GREY Building not the GRAY Building.
You drive a little further up the road, still nothing. You're about to give up when then you see it again. You see the Grey Building. You guess you just didn't realize it was further than you thought.

The Grey Building stands before you and there's the door, so you can go in if you want.

You inspect the building again

You walk around the building again, and something isn't right. This is a Grey Building but it isn't your Gray Building.

You can hear shuffling inside, and the clinking of chains. This doesn't seem like a safe place to enter, so you hastily leave and head back home and just say to hell with the whole damn thing. Your life is more important than fucking around with mysterious buildings in the middle of nowhere.
You inspect the outside, but there's nothing unusual. It's just concrete, no windows, or other doors at all.

You make your way back to the front of the building and the door is gone! You could've sworn it was right there! You search and search, but to no avail. It's just solid concrete now. You're search more, but you see some wolves up on a nearby hill that look very dangerous, so you decide to leave and come back tomorrow.

When you come back, the entire building is gone! There's no trace of it. You can't figure it out! This WAS the right location. This is very strange. Maybe you made a mistake and need to travel further up the road.

You give up and go back home again

You give up that easily? Well it's your choice I suppose and not too surprising considering you've spent most of your life in your Mom's basement.

You go back home and go back to your safe little world that doesn't require any exploration at all.
You get an offer for $15,000 dollars! You take it! Man, what a sucker! You don't feel like wrapping up the bones and shipping them so you tell the guy to pick them up at your house. He said he'll come by with a briefcase of money.

Soon you get a knock on the door. You answer it and a strange looking scientist type appears before you.

"Hello, I'm here for my Elephant Man bones." he says

ELEPHANT MAN? No wonder they sold for so much! This dickhead thought he was buying the remains of a medical curiosity, not that of an actual elephant!

"Hey I think there's been a mistake. It's just a regular elephant buddy. Still, should be good for something in the science field right?"
"What?! This is false advertising! I demand my Elephant Man bones!"

The scientist is very angry, but he doesn't seem to realize that mistake has been made. He thinks that you're holding out on him and trying to renig on the deal. You tell him that the deal's off and he can keep his money if he's so unhappy, but he won't hear any of it, he's demanding that you give him his Elephant Man Bones!

He pulls out a pistol!

You kill him! Kill him!

Something in you snaps! You're overcome with panic and solve your problems with violence. You immediately knock the gun out of his hand and choke the life out the scientist, snapping his scrawny neck!

You have to figure out to get rid of the body; Mom doesn't like you leaving a mess. So you decide to chop him up and throw him in a trash bag.

In the middle of your grizzly work, you start to enjoy it. In fact you don't think you're going to get rid of the body at all. In fact you found something much more interesting to collect than useless shit on the internet.

You begin to increase selling things on the internet to attract more people...