Ah, that's right, it must be dinner time!  After spending several more long and grueling minutes trying to remember your way around the place, you pass through some of the halls until you find the kitchens. 


And what a smell that greets you!  Someone is cooking up some good shit!


As you enter the large dinner hall, the near empty place seems somewhat startling.  As you get closer to the trio, you see one woman holding several chickens in her arms and softly whispering to them. 


"Who are you?" you ask.


"It's simple…I'm Sabley," she says before going back to the most precious chickens.


The second person you see is some girl with little snakes for hair, and her eyes….by God her eyes…you stare with horror into the empty void that was her eye sockets, as you do so a little beetle crawls out of one of them, takes a shit on her eyebrow, and goes back inside.

You ask where Axiom is

"Where is Axiom?" you ask.


Misjudging the sound, the blind freak turns towards the empty wall. 


"Last I saw, she went down to the dungeon," she says patting the chair next to her, "don't worry, you'll find her soon enough."


"Thanks," you say.


She turns to you.


"I wasn't talking to you," she says turning back to the chair once again, "some people, no respect for private conversations."


She shakes her head in disgust and begins going into detailed instructions of where the dungeon could be.


"Well, our friend Corgi could take you there," Sabley says, "he knows where the dungeon is, don't you Corgi?"


You hadn't really paid attention to, or noticed the third person in the trio.  By your feet sits a little dog, its short fur pasted and matted with…you don't really want to know what.  The dogs tongue perpetually hangs out from the side of its mouth, and as it stares at you, its left eye seems shift to the left.  Its pupil almost hides within its eye socket.


"Oh, I think he is trying to point towards the door."


You look in the direction of the eye to see the door you came from.


"He wants you to show him where the dungeon is, can you do that?" Sabley asks.


"Daaaargh!" Corgi shouts and vigorously shakes his head up and down.


In a moment he briskly walks over to the door, his little feet making padding sounds.  You have no choice but to follow it at this point.


The dog sits by the door and waits for you to catch up before continuing.

You dungeon

After some time, the dog sits in front of a large stair case.  He sits and faces you, his left eye rolling into the back of his head, presumably to point at the stairs right behind him.  As you walk down the stairs you almost don't notice the dog following right behind you.


You finally reach the long and dark corridors.  As you walk past multiple cells, you see a demented looking furry man sitting in a cage with a giant lizard.  They roll a ball back and forth, the furry man just repeats "Jibble" over and over again, drool coming out the side of his mouth.


With shivers going down your spine, you continue on, not wanting to know what sick degeneracy this will turn into.  Along the way, you hear a giant Uuuuurp! and peer into the cell it came from.


Materializing from the shadows is a large, ugly….Ogre!  The good natured being waves and smiles at you.


"Didn't expect to see you here!" he says.


Not caring you shrug your shoulders and continue on, the Ogre cares even less and goes back to scratching his ass or whatever it is ogres do. 


Eventually you find your way to a break in the wall, bricks lay on the ground, and moss grows along the walls of the cave that gives way.


"Dar!" Corgi shouts and his eye points to the cave.

You cave

You enter the dark cave, and after a few minutes of feeling around curse yourself for not thinking to grab a torch from the wall.  Eventually though, a light emanates from up ahead.  Surely she is hanging out over here.


The torchlight almost blinds you as you step out.  The cave expands out to a huge cave system, filled with thousands of glowing plants and mushrooms of various sorts.  About halfway across is what appears to be a river running out to the ocean.  A small dock sits empty, as a lonely lamp on a post shines bright.


A small campfire burns, with several log benches surrounding it.  Two figures sit around it, small green glowing things in their hands.  You nonchalantly walk up to the campfire, the dog goes and crawls into some makeshift dog house not too far away.


Sitting on each side of the fire are Malk and Steve.  The first wearing a pink tutu, and a regular fur shirt above that, he sees you eyeing the tutu.


"What?" Malk says, "it's a joke."


"Whatever you say," you say, "have either of you seen Axiom?"


"Just missed her, I'm afraid," Steve says, "hey, do you want to sit with us for a while?"


You start to shrug your shoulders.


"You should warm up," Steve says, "you look soaked."


You decide to sit and humor them for a while, besides, the fire is quite warm.  Steve points to the small dock.


"Axiom took that boat not two hours ago," Steve says, "no idea why she would in a storm like this."


You look to the empty dock once again, before looking down to the dark abyss that is the cave system.


"These caves extend much further out than any of us would have imagined," Steve says, "what lies in the depths is any ones guess."


"As long as she didn't go too far into them," you say, "although she would probably know them  better than anyone else."


"No, she went to the ocean," Steve says, "although she does traverse the caves often enough."


"Eh, she'll be fine," Malk says, "hey Ford, want to try one of these?"


Malk extends his hand, revealing a glowing green mushroom, and a dark red plant in his palm.


"These will have you up in the clouds for days, man," Malk says, "shit's good."


"What exactly is it?" you ask.


"Some kind of mushrooms," he says.

You don't Eat the Mushrooms

"Eh, no I'm good," you say.


"What? Why not, man?" Malks asks.


"I just don't trust any old thing-"


"Bah, whatever." Malk says as he jams the mushroom in his mouth, and seems to take too much pleasure in chewing it up and swallowing it…especially the swallowing.


His eyes roll up into the back of his head a moment and then he grins as they roll back into place.  His glazed eyes have a faraway look, and drool starts to drip from his mouth.  Glancing back, you notice Steve seems to have ingested the mysterious mushrooms as well, he stares at the ceiling.


"Whuuuuh," Steve says, "look at you, you sexy thing."

You continue

You decide it would be best to wait around for a while, no use in going out and getting lost.  As you wait, Steve and Malk seem to have ingested more of the mushrooms. 


Malk stands up and starts twirling like a pretty ballerina, and Steve starts dancing some king of Irish jig.  In their minds they probably look like professional dancers…to you they look like a couple of idiots sloppily flailing around. 


Malk grabs your hands and starts trying to dance with you…..fuck it!  You join in and spin him around right before dipping him, and throwing him in the air and catching him.


He brings his lips close to yours, and you turn away in time to get a big, wet, sloppy smooch on the cheek.  Cringing you drop him and step away.


"Too far?" Malk grins as he snorts something else and starts hopping around like a frog.


You see Steve take out some paper and begin to furiously scribble on it.


You turn and scratch your head, wondering what exactly you have gotten yourself into.  Malk hops up and tries to do the same jig he saw Steve do earlier, but only more horrible and sloppy.


Malk belts out a song as he dances, at one point almost falling into the fire, but you catch him and pull him away.  He doesn't even realize and continues what he is doing.


He kneels down and picks up the red plant.


"I've never tried this one before…" Malk looks at Steve, "let's try it boy-o."


Steve looks up, already having several large books filled up with his writing.  That was fast.


"Indeed, my friend, indeed we shall," Steve stands up and takes a plant, "hmm, not sure if we should…"


"Bah! Nonsense!" Malk says, "man, I could really go for some pie right now."


"Ughh," Steve's face coils up into disgust.


"I absolutely hate pie," Steve says.


"Eh, you can help me make it then," Malk says.


Steve shrugs as he and Malk begin to crush up parts of the red plant, and rolling it up in some leaves.  After lighting it up using the camp fire, they smoke the crap out of that thing.  They're eyes becoming red as smoke fills the immediate area.


After some time you start to feel a bit woozy…too much smoke around you.  As you sit, Malk giggles and points at you.  Steve laughs his ass off and almost falls out of the log bench.


"Man, I hate pie," Steve says, "but I sure could use some."


"Haha fuck, fuck, fuck fuck!" Malk screams, "I have a great fucking idea!"


Before anyone can say anything, Malk leaps up and grabs you by the collar.  His eyes start to glow red like the red plant, and so do Steve's eyes. Both giggling they drag you up the cave, even while you kick and protest.


"Man, this will be so funny," Malk says, "hah…fuck…best joke ever…"


You open your mouth to try to speak, but Malk turns and vomits up some green, glowing liquid, it fills your mouth and you sputter and choke. 


"Ergh! Fuck!" you scream.

You baked and Baking

The two high motherfuckers throw you onto the table in the kitchen.


"Wha-what are you guys doi-" you say.


"Shut the fuck up! It's okay," Malk says as he strokes your hair, "it'll be fun, you'll love it!"


A sound grabs your attention, and you turn your head.  A man with two sharp horns and pinkish red skin, enters.


"Karstark! Er- Lord Karstark!" Malk says, "you're just in time, want to help?"


"Sure…suuuure," Karstark grins and laughs evilly as he rubs his hands together, "what are we doing?"


"You'll find out," Steve snaps and shakes his head, and he and Malk each glance at each other and shake their heads at Karstarks foolishness, a thing only known to them.


As you turn to look at Malk, you scream as an axe blade buries into your face.  Another whack and your eye pops out of your head, miraculously you're still able to see Steve preparing a little silver tray.


Karstark steps forward and before you know it, he is sawing your arm off, and drinking the blood of your severed arm.


You cough and sputter blood as you start to fall off the table, and Malk hoists you up back onto it with surprising strength.  He scolds Kar for drinking your blood, and your vision goes dark as they continue to hack you up….

You wake Up

In the inner recesses of your consciousness, you feel an extreme heat burning up your body.  You try to scream but can't just yet.  You feel something moving though, must be your mouth.


A grating sound grinds against your ears, and you cringe as a gloved hand grabs you and pulls you from the searing heat.  You suck in a fresh gasp of air, and the two faces above you gasp and place you on the table.


A third one comes into view as they all stare at you in horror…you recognize these faces…you're sure of it.  As you are placed, more like thrown on the table.  You feel a jolt of something course through you…and you remember.


You remember fleeting bits of pain as these high as mother fuckers chopped you up. 


"What did we do?" Steve asks.


The trio looks at each other, Karstark, being a demon, just laughs.  Malk and Steve pick you up and hurriedly make their way to the sewage grates.


"Sorry man," Malk says, "we're not sure what else to do."


"Wait!" Steve says.


But it's too late, you've been dropped in the drain and swirl in the stream of nasty, shitty, sewage water…

You swirls and Shit

Pain…true pain…something stabs at the edge of your consciousness.  No wait…


Your eyes snap open, your shit and filth covered body reverberating as something slams into it…again and again.  As the feces float out of your vision, you are accosted by the horrible sight of one of the beast people!


It's little fuzzy pole jamming in and out of one of the many openings in your body.  Your mouth gapes wide and excretes a foul, smelly, green liquid, covering the Rat Man!  It screams as the acidic taste burns its flesh, and it hops into the squishy log filled waters in an attempt to wash off the liquid…bad idea. 


It screams from the pain of all the horrible bodily fluids and excrements entering its open wounds.  And unable to handle the pain, it goes under and opens its mouth, swallowing as much as it can in a strange act of self mercy killing.


You groan in pain, and realize you can't…but wait.  A tentacle slowly emerges from your body slowly snaking on the stone walkway.  Green glowing liquid seeps off of it and the tentacle crawls…but it twitches as well.


After some straining and braining, you eventually learn you can control it! The rat-man cum and magic ooze must have somehow combined to give you these extraordinary powers!


Your silver tray scrapes across the stone walkway as you grow another tentacle to pull yourself across…uggh, so damn slow.


Some squeaks meet your ears, and you look over, to see several rat-men approaching, armed with rusty swords and spears.  One of them, the apparent leader watches you intently, his paw on resting on the sword sheathed at his side.


Two of the rats approach, one armed with a little club, and another with a spear.  The one with the spear pokes at you a bit, and you see one further back licking their lips.  The leader calls out to the rats in their language, and the one who was poking at you shrugs and seems to dismiss him.  These rats are bothering you, and pose a great threat…but you get an idea.  A way to get more power…

You eat One

You lash your tentacles forth, one yanking the spear from the rat, and the other coiling around his neck and pulling him closer to you.  As you try to eat him, he squeaks in fear and plants his paws on either side of you, pushing away with all his might. 


As he manages to pull away a bit, the other rat leaps forward, slamming the iron end of his mace down onto you.  The cherries and human flesh inside of you splats on the stone, as everything feels fuzzy.  A few of your teeth fall out, and the last thing you see is the rat raising the mace against you for the last time….