SUNDAY


"Are you worried about these uncertain times? Do you…"

Click.

You're so damn sick of these Ground Zero commercials you think as you turn the TV off. If you older brother Ben hadn't shot his family and himself in a tragic paranoid breakdown you can only imagine he'd be going on about how right he was in building that underground bunker out in your backyard.

You look at the time and realize you've spent most of the day procrastinating watching TV even though there's not much on that interests you on TV anymore. All the channels you used to watch that had interesting shit on them now all have shallow reality shows and quite frankly you've got enough dysfunctional family drama going on in real life without needing to watch it on TV.

You remember a time when you could avoid most of the mess by hiding out in your basement. Unfortunately you can't even do that anymore. Ever since dad drank himself to death, the gravy train of living at home for free came to an end.

Without the help of your dad's pension checks anymore, your older Amazonian sister Kelly said there was no way in hell that she was going to keep supporting the house on her own unless she was the only one living in it. Seeing as she's a roller derby bitch as well as an illegal fight club brawler, it isn't like you or any of your siblings were in any position to argue with her.

Your younger brother Peter, having given up his lofty dreams of being a famous movie director now spends a lot of his time in the garage making amateur porn with various guys he picks up at the clubs. He makes enough money through his website that it keeps Kelly off his back. He seems to enjoy what he's doing and at least he's not stealing your clothes anymore.

Your younger sister Donna simply moved out and moved in with your best friend Julie who is still the eternal party girl. Really you're surprised Julie hasn't caught every STD known to man at this point. To be honest Donna's had more in common with Julie than you have for many years now. You're sure Donna's a lot happier at a "party house."

As for you, you didn't have much in the way of options. Trying to get a job has failed spectacularly in this economy. Though your…"unique" and reclusive personality doesn't exactly help in that department.

Given some of the junk that's laying around the house you sometimes wonder if you shouldn't try to sell some of it over the Internet to support yourself. Seems like a lot of work though and you're no wheeler and dealer.

Donna suggested that you move in with her and Julie, but that whole scene isn't for you. As much as you hate dealing with Kelly, you'd also hate having to put up with drunk horny guys (and girls) trying to get into your pants every five minutes, not to mention the loud music, crowds and the ever growing possibility of the cops busting the place for illegal drugs.

Which brings you to your boyfriend Bobby Morningstar who naturally has suggested that you move in with him on several occasions. This would be the ideal solution if it weren't for the fact that his own family consists of like a million siblings that all live in his cult compound. There's also the fact that his ex-girlfriend/sister Diana is wicked pissed at you for stealing him away from her.

It's been an ongoing source of tension between you and Bobby and you wish he'd just leave them all behind and you two could make a life together elsewhere, but his duty to family is strong, as is his faith to the Babylonian Goddess of Chaos, Tiamat which still involves human sacrifices.

Right now you're having a period of separation with him. Sometimes you think about breaking up with him completely, but then you can't just dismiss the good times you do have with him. You have that special bond that only a couple could have when one warns the other about their serial killer relative lying in wait for them in the woods. Thank god Bobby took care of your uncle Ed. That had to be the scariest moment of your life dealing with that situation.

Of course none of this delightful recap of past events really helps you. Kelly is starting to get very impatient with you and you fear that your months of stalling are coming to an end.

Kelly's currently not home, but she'll be back in a few hours to get a bit of sleep before heading off to her fight club stuff. Continuing to enjoy the time you have to not have to deal with her you go back to procrastinating, which mainly involves goofing off on the Internet, "stumbling" upon a porn site and then using battery powered means to relieve yourself of stress.

Eventually you hear the familiar slamming of the door and stomping around upstairs, which signifies that Kelly is indeed home.

"SUZY! Stop splittin' the kitten and get yer bony ass up here!" you hear Kelly shout.

You were afraid of this. You clean yourself up a bit, mentally prepare yourself and then head upstairs.

"Hey Kelly…" you start to say, but are interrupted.
"Shut up. I've got exactly a couple hours to get some rest before I have to drag my ass to my other job to support this fucking house and it's a fucking mess! You can't even clean up around here? Did you even look for a job today? Let me guess you spent the whole day fucking around on the Internet and masturbating didn't you?"
"Well uh..."
"Jesus fuckin' Christ Suzy, you're goddamn useless you know that? The only reason I'm not kicking your ass right now is because I need to save my energy and it would be too fucking easy."

Before you can even speak, Kelly continues her rant.

"GET A FUCKING JOB! I don't care what kind! Just be a contributing member of this household like Peter or get the fuck out like Donna!"
"Kelly I'm trying, but I'm just not having any luck in finding anything, can't you help me out?" you say.
"Help you out? I'm helping you out right now by supporting your ass! I've been helping you out for quite some time! In fact I originally suggested that you could probably become a ring girl at the fights, but you said no because you didn't want to dress up in skimpy clothing and parade around in front of a bunch of drunks."
"Kelly, you know I don't want to dress like that in public, especially not after what uncle Ed made me wear that night…"
"Oh here we go, crazy old uncle Ed! How long you going to keep using that as an excuse? Sheesh, the way you go on about it, you act like he raped you. What happened instead? He got killed, you weren't even touched and you got a fucking boyfriend out of that deal! Some of us should be so lucky to be in a fucked up situation and STILL come out ahead! You know what I deal with on a regular basis? Steroid freaks trying to break my fucking neck that's what! You think I'd be making a living trading punches with fucktards if I LOOKED like you Suzy? You got the biggest advantage and you're just wasting it! What the hell is your goddamn problem?"

You can see that Kelly is in full-blown jealousy mode and shows no signs of stopping. Attempting to walk away will only result in her getting physical with you so the only thing you can do is endure the verbal assault.

"This is sink or swim time sis. You either get your shit together by the end of this week or you're out on your ass! This sheltered girl act is really fucking OLD! You're a grown ass WOMAN. Start acting like one! Now get out of my fucking sight."

You meekly slink back to the basement and leave Kelly alone.

You silently mope for a while pondering what the hell you're going to do next. You then notice that your phone has been under your couch cushions and on silent all day. Bobby apparently has been repeatedly trying to contact you. Even left multiple texts saying that he really wants to talk, but the mood you're in right now, you don't want to deal with it.

You don't want to deal with anything. You just want to be safe in your own little world in the basement. How you miss those days…

Well today isn't completely over yet. You've still got time to salvage some of it. Hell, maybe you can even make a major change in your life.

You get help from Peter

You don't want to move out and you can't trust yourself to not get distracted as usual trying to find a job. You need help and the only other person you know that has one in the house is Peter, so you decide to go see him and hope he isn't in the middle of "working."

You head to the garage and knock on the door. From within you hear a come on in so you do so, unfortunately given Peter's state of near nakedness and a tube of KY in hand its obvious he wasn't expecting you.

"Oh. It's you. What do you want? I got a couple of guys coming over soon and I still need to lube up." he says
"Ugh…I need to speak to you." You say trying not to look at him. "Can you put some damn clothes on?"
"(Sigh) Fine, but let's hurry this up." Peter says and puts on a robe.

"Peter, I need your help in finding a job and before you even suggest it, no I'm not going to do what you do for money."
"Oh of course not. Wouldn't enter my mind to suggest such a thing to the likes of you. Which means I don't have many other suggestions for you. I mean I can only imagine you've failed horribly at getting a normal job due to your lack of a college degree, personality quirks and crippling introversion. You don't seem to have the motivation to start your own business and for some baffling reason you don't even take advantage of the natural gifts you do have. Pfft, if I was you, I'd start now because you're just getting older."
"Peter, I'm not a whore. I'm not going to just spread my legs to everyone for cash."
"Who said everyone? Just get one rich one, shit shouldn't be that hard for you."
"That's not who I am, besides I have a boyfriend…"
"Who? Bobby? I thought you two broke up."
"No, well sort of…it's complicated."
"Well then you need to work something out with him then and let him take care of you because while I didn't hear the whole rant, Kelly was loud enough that I made out some of it even from here. Sounds like she gave you an ultimatum."
"I know. I know. I don't know what to do." You say slumping into a nearby chair.

Peter and you have never been close and most of the time he's annoyed you by constantly stealing your clothes in the past, but to his credit he go over and tries to console you a bit with a hug, given that his dick is still swinging out of his robe, you'd rather he didn't and politely tell him you're fine.

"Have you tried the circus?" Peter suddenly asks.
"What?" you respond.
"The circus. There's a small one set up a few miles west outside of town. Almost like a gypsy camp really. Remember how our family used to go together? I think it's about the only time we all got along."
"Yeah…I always liked the clowns the most. I liked how outgoing and happy they always were. Even thought I'd grow up and be one at one point."
"Hm, I think you were the only one as far as that went. I still remember you used to paint up your face with mom's make up and try to entertain Donna and me at home. Though to be quite honest all you did was scare the hell out of us."
"Yeah…that's why I gave up that dream. Figured I was doing it wrong." You say gloomily.
"Oh. Sorry about that, didn't mean to be a dream crusher."
"It's okay, given my introversion I doubt if I would've been able to actually get in front of a crowd and do it anyway."
"Hey, you shouldn't have given up if that was what you wanted to do. I mean maybe you should pursue it now. I mean you don't have much to lose right and how hard could it be? Put on make up, dress up silly, and generally act creepy…erm I mean goofy."

Peter's words do light a certain spark in you.

"Hmmm, maybe you're right…I'll do it!" you suddenly exclaim.
"Good, glad to hear you're excited about something. So are you good now? I mean I'd talk more, but y'know still got guys coming over and…"
"Oh right, yeah I'm good. Hold on, can I borrow your car to get to the circus tomorrow?"
"Uhhh, yeah sure. Keys are over there."
"Thanks again Peter." You say taking the keys and leave.

You head back down to the basement filled with excitement at the prospect of pursuing your childhood dream again! It all seems a little crazy right now, but the more you think about it the more it makes sense.

You spend the rest of the night in good spirits and maintain a positive attitude that everything will be okay tomorrow.

Next day...

MONDAY


"…our shelters are all equipped with the latest in state of the art technology, order now and…"

Click.

You fell asleep watching tv again. Seems like they're playing those damn commercials all the time now. Nothing like praying upon people's fears due to recent world events.

You look at the time and see that you've slept for most of the morning, but given that you're going to the circus to apply for a job you figure they will be open all night.

You also check your phone and see that Bobby's been trying to reach you, but you can't let yourself get distracted today. You need to focus on your goal of becoming a clown!

You take Peter's car and head towards the circus. The drive is fairly uneventful though one thing you notice is the increase in police cars and police in general. Apparently there's been some civil disturbance in multiple locations. You swear this one of the reasons why you never like leaving the basement in the first place. You hate the chaotic nature of people.

But then, if you have any hope of being a clown, you're going to have to get used to dealing with crowds and people. In fact you're going to have to get used to a lot of things, but you can't let yourself get a panic attack about this. You have to go through with this.

Eventually you arrive at your destination. Or at least you assume it is. Peter wasn't joking when he said it resembled a gypsy camp as opposed to a proper circus. You see a lot of little tents and some trailers, but nothing like a "big top."

Most of the people here are dwarves and last time you knew there wasn't a large population of little people in your town, so you can only assume that they're part of the circus. In fact from what you can tell there aren't actually any customers, just carnies.

As you wander a bit, you start getting a lot of looks, you aren't sure if they're staring at you because you're an outsider or if they're just gawking at you. Might be a bit of both. Doesn't take long before you're surrounded by a lot of the little people and you start to feel like Dorothy.

"Hey goldie with the legs, what're you doing around here? We're not open yet." One of their numbers says.
"Oh, well I wasn't here for that. I'm here because…" you take a deep breath. "I want to be a clown!"

That certainly wasn't the response that they were expecting. You hear a few whispers before the one that was talking speaks again.

"A clown? Heh, well I'm not sure how successful that's going to work out for you, but luckily for you the owner of this fine circus is also a clown, so you'll need to speak with him either way. He's in the tent over there. Roofie is probably still hung over so try to speak quietly."
"Roofie?"
"Yeah, that's his clown name… actually it mean be his real name as well. Anyway, don't worry he's not a rapist or anything like that, he's just a drunk. In fact he's probably the most mentally stable clown that we've ever had in this circus!"

Taking the dwarf's directions, you head over to Roofie's tent. The smell of booze is strong and when you enter you see a balding older man in oversized pants and suspenders sitting at a table holding his head in both hands. Beer and whiskey bottle are plentiful enough that you make yourself heard just by tripping over some.

"Goddamn it, it isn't fucking showtime and nobody's been coming anyway! Leave me alone, shit!" Roofie shouts not even looking up and continuing to hold his head.
"Uh Mr. Roofie, I was told to speak to you."

Roofie turns and looks at you. A big red nose still on his face.

"Huh? Wbo the hell are you? You look way too damn classy to be any whore that I'd be able to afford."
"My name's Suzy and I want to be a clown."

At this point Roofie slowly gets up from his seat kicking a few bottles aside. You continue to stand there starting to wonder if this was such a good idea.

"A clown? Now why the hell would a cute blonde like you want to be a fuckin' clown. Doesn't make sense. You playin' some sort of angle honey, because I assure you I'm in no mood and I ain't got any money for you to grift anyway."
"No, it's always been a life long dream ever since I was a little girl!" you say and then start to go into detail of how you enjoyed circus clowns and a bunch of other life story shit that doesn't really interest Roofie. In fact he's just struggling to stand up and listen right now.

"Alright, alright, enough! Shit. I get it. (Sigh) Look honey I dunno what to tell you, we're not exactly the Ringling Brothers here. I'm also not exactly looking to hire and I barely keep this place running as it is."
"Please let me be a clown! Just give me a chance!"
"Argh, too fucking loud! Fine show me your clown stuff, just keep your voice down."
"Clown stuff?"
"Uh yeah, like can you juggle? A little magic maybe? Some slapstick? Do you have a character like being a hobo or something? What you think it's just easy as putting on white face make up, jumping around and laughing like an idiot?"
"Well sort of…"
"Sheesh. That's the kind of thinking that makes us look creepy rather than amusing. You do realize that most people hate clowns right? Doesn't help that we're constantly vilified in horror movies nowadays. Yer wastin' my time and yours if you don't even know the basics."

Roofie isn't exactly inspiring your confidence in this anymore. You feel like just heading home, but can't run from this like you do with everything else, you've got no other options! You start to break down in tears.

"Maybe I don't know the basics, but I'll work hard! (Sob) I'm serious about this! (Sob) I've tried to get a job everywhere else and if I don't get this, I'll get kicked out of my house! This is my last chance! (Sob)" you exclaim in between the tears.
"Last chance? Darling, if bein' a clown is your last chance, then you've got some major problems. (Sigh) I dunno even know why I'm entertaining this save for the fact that you're easy on the eyes even without the need for alcohol and I'm a sucker for a damsel in distress. Besides if the news is any indication, we're all gonna be dead by nuclear fire soon anyway, so fuck it. All right, stop yer weepin' an maybe we can do something with you."

You clear up your eyes a bit completely oblivious to Roofie's brief doomsday expectations.

"So you'll help train me?"
"Well, hopefully you'll pick up something in time, but I'm not going to bother with regular training, you're going to learn trial by fire which all good clowns do anyway. Now the greatest thing going for you is that you're cute, so I'm thinkin' we create a character for you that utilizes your, shall we say natural talent."
"Wait, I'm not going to have my breasts exposed while wearing nothing but red clown noses on my nipples do I?" you ask with concern.
"(Snort) Jesus girl. No, nuthin' like that." Roofie chuckles "You'll be fully clothed, though you'll still be cute lookin'. Kinda like that one girl. Y'know in the funny books? The one with that rich vigilante. Anyway, the key thing to remember is you need to act cutesy. That's going to be your character. You'll be a cute clown while all the other clowns around you hilariously fail to try to win you over, hit each other with mallets and all that sort of shit…hmmm, this is actually sounding like a pretty good skit. I'm going to go round up the others and have a run through. In the meantime there's a bunch of clown outfits in the trunk over there. Fairly certain we got a bunch of unused girly ones that should fit you. Some make up over and a mirror over there. Don't worry about getting that just right for now since I know the lighting sucks in this tent. And uh, I dunno try to practice acting demure and shy."

Roofie leaves the tent and you're left realizing that you might just succeed at getting this job! You quickly go through the trunk and find some pink and black-checkered leotard thing with a mini-skirt attached around the waist. It fits and fortunately while form fitting, it isn't excessively tight, though your legs are still exposed so you put on some knee high purple striped leggings. You feel sort of vulnerable undressing in a tent that someone could just enter at any time, but fortunately there's at least a privacy-screen you can dress behind.

You complete your look by putting your hair in girlish pigtails and applying a bunch of white face make up on and making your eyelashes and lips stand out with black eye liner and red lipstick.

You haven't had time to practice when Roofie returns with a bunch of other men in various clown outfits. One of them is even a little person like you met out front.

"Goddamn Roofie, I think I'm gonna have to rethink my plans of leaving your shitty carnival." One of them says.
"Leave? Hell, I think I'm in love." Says another before Roofie speaks up.

"Holy shit girl, I said cute clown, not harlequin seductress! You might need to tone it down in the future we're still trying to run a family show more or less. All right never mind, let's run through this and you guys TRY to remember to keep your tongues in your mouth on occasion."

So you run through the routine while Roofie gives everyone directions. At first you naturally feel a little unready and uneasy what with everyone flirting with you, but soon you start to get into the swing of things. In fact it starts to come easy, you bat your eyes, give a few girlish giggles when someone slips and falls trying to give you a balloon flower and similar things.

Eventually Roofie stops everyone and says the skit needs to be refined a bit, but it should work. He then tells everyone to leave since he wants speak with you privately. This seems to disappoint the others who all continue to stare at you while leaving.

"Well, other than the fact that I could tell some of them were having a really hard time in not actually groping you, I'd say that went well and even you seem to have gotten into character quickly. Maybe you do have what it takes after all. You still seem a little nervous though, which sort of helped your performance, but I'd rather you remain at ease. Anything that can help with that?" Roofie asks.
"Well its like you said, I partially felt like one of them was going to jump on me at any given time. I mean is that something I'm going to have to worry about?"
"Nah, that won't happen. We carnies have a rule against hurting each other. I mean I won't lie that they aren't going to stare a lot at you and most likely a few are going to make crude comments, but that's about as far as it is going to go if you decide to join and stay with us."
"You want me to join?"
"If you're still interested, sure. I think you've got something to offer. Though like I said, I'm still not sure why someone like you would want to join a broken down circus like this one. I still think someone like you would be a model or something."
"Well, I'm wearing an outlandish outfit, my face is all painted up and a bunch of guys are falling over themselves just to get a look at me. Seems like I'm doing the same thing as a model save for the eating disorder."

Your comment causes a laugh from Roofie.

"Ha ha! That's pretty good. I think I'm making the right decision. Okay, so about your sleeping arrangements, I might have to re-arrange some folks and that's always going to cause problems, so you might have to sleep in your car for tonight…"
"Wait you want me to move in here?"
"Well yeah. I mean I told you we weren't going to be staying here too much longer and you have to know that circus' do tend to travel right?"
"Yeah, right. Of course. It's just, heh, I guess when I jumped into this I didn't think all of it through. Though that's probably obvious."
"Hrm, well it's your choice. I'm not gonna lie and say this life is the easiest and if you feel more comfortable at home or have loved ones you don't want to leave that's understandable."
"I dunno if I'd say all that, but the concept of leaving my home…well it's a bit of a big change for me. Like a VERY big one. And oddly, this opportunity has me seriously considering it."
"Well you do what's in your heart. Anyway, we aren't leaving today or even tomorrow, so I mean if you want to go back home and pick up some stuff, say goodbye to whoever, then you've got time. But even though we're not leaving tomorrow we are going to be open for our last show and I'll need you here. I'm hoping we'll at least get some people here and make at least a bit of money before picking up stakes and all that."

You aren't sure what to do. The logical thing to do would be to go back home and gather some belonging, say a few goodbyes and try to convince Peter to drive you back up here so he gets his car back.

But there's something within you that wonders if you shouldn't just make a clean break immediately and stay. You know yourself and if you get back home you're likely find some reason to stay and back out of this opportunity. You think about Bobby and how he'd be one of those reasons. You still haven't called him back.

You stay at the circus

If you're going to do this, you need to be all in right now. You feel slightly bad about essentially stealing Peter's car, but you figure you can call him later and he can get someone to drive him over to pick it up. (Assuming he doesn't call you first)

As for Bobby you're not going to bother. You've come to the conclusion that you and he have too many differences to make it work and that this final break up has been a long time coming. Calling him would just make you fall for his charms and hinder your own goals and you can't have that happen.

"Mr. Roofie, I'll be staying." You say.
"Okay, great. We'll be opening up soon, dunno if anyone's actually going to show up, but you might as well get out there and wander around to make this place look festive."
"Did you want me to change, you said something about this outfit being too much?"
"Eh…don't bother. I'm thinkin' it's an appropriate look for you. Like I said, you might have to put up with some cat calling from some of the cruder employees here, but that's about it. And if anyone starts getting out of line with you, be they carnie or rube, let me know about it. Trust me it'll be taken care of immediately. This carnival might be on its last legs, but I'll be damned if it'll descend into anarchy. My dad didn't work and sacrifice all those years for nothing." Roofie says.
"Your dad owned this carnival? Was he a clown too?" you ask.
"Heh, no. He was a geek and I don't mean in the lovable nerd sense either. I mean he was a bonafide circus geek. Ate all manner of disgusting things to bring in the customers. Raw animal organs, heads of chickens, rotten food, you name it. He always told me though he was drunk most of the time so it wasn't quite as bad as you'd think. Fortunately he didn't stay a circus geek though. Apparently he helped the original ringmaster with something very important and after that happened my dad got a better job around here as the ringmaster's assistant."
"What did he help the ringmaster with?"
"Dunno exactly. Like I said, my dad was drinking a lot heavier during those geek days. He said it had to do with a power struggle within the circus, but he couldn't quite remember all the details. In any event when the original ring master one day decided it was time to move on to something else my dad got control of the circus. Kept it going too despite the changing times. I've tried to follow in his footsteps, but so far the only thing I've succeeded at is the drinking part."

Roofie takes a drink from a nearby bottle after this statement.

"So, uh what made you become a clown?" you ask.
"I dunno, I was trying to help out I guess. Y'see my dad had to raise me himself since my mom died giving birth to me and I guess when I got old enough I felt I should contribute for all the extra burden I put on him."
"Sorry to hear that."
"Hm, well all I know about her is that she was a runaway that joined up with the circus shortly after my dad took over as owner. Anyway, for a while, this circus didn't have a single clown. Apparently it did a long time ago, but my dad said there were some horror stories about them and they were eventually…let go. Despite this circus' odd apprehension about having clowns again I convinced my dad that it would be a good idea to have clowns. So he gave me a shot and it worked. Rest is history, anyway that's enough story time you've got your own clown work to do, so get to it."

You take your leave and re-assure that you'll do everything in your power to keep people entertained.

No sooner have you left Roofie's tent when you're nabbed by a couple of the other clowns, this time they're full clown uniform.

"Hey tulip we've been lookin' for ya. If you're staying, we're going to need to polish up our routine." One of them says.
"Yeah, and after that, you can polish something else. Ha ha ha ha ha!" says another which causes some snickering from the others.
"Could you please not talk that way to me?" you ask politely.
"Awww are you sensitive? You're such a delicate pretty little flower aren't you?" the clown who made the polishing comment says.
"Sheesh, Ranko don't be a fucking asshole. Don't mind him sweetheart he's never been this close to a woman before." Another clown says.
"Fuck you Klepto and stop playing white knight. You're not foolin' anyone. You know damn well you got a raging boner for this little blonde number too. Am I right fellas?"

This gets a small positive acknowledgement by the other clowns, including Klepto who chuckles while confessing his transparent white knighting. Once again you're starting to wonder if this is going to be worth it.

Is this what its always going to be like? You haven't even been officially an employee five minutes and you're already getting subjected to dirty innuendo and harassment. You know Roofie tried to assure you that nothing is going happen and that if someone did try anything you could let him know, but really though you don't want to have to feel like you have to go running to him like a tattletale every time.

If you could brave your serial killer uncle and your cultist ex-boyfriend, you can certainly handle some loutish clowns. In fact you start thinking about all the times Kelly has verbally abused you and you begin to get angry. You channel some of that anger that you have for her and direct it towards your new co-workers.

"Ranko, I'm guessing that's your name due to the bad breath your giving off right now. It smells like shit which still makes it about two steps higher than you look." You say, which catches him off guard and stops the others from laughing. Before Ranko can retort you continue.

"Your name oughta be Zero, because that's exactly how far you're ever going to get with me. The same goes for the rest of you fucktards! Just because I'm new here doesn't mean I'm just going to take your fucking abuse!"

For a moment there's silence and even some of the nearby employees look on wondering what the rest a going to do. Ranko is the only one who says anything though.

"Hmm, looks like the delicate flower has a few thorns. That's okay though. I like a little spirit, keeps things interesting. In any case we still need to go over the routine so if you're done bitching at all of us, let's go." He says and motions everyone to follow.

You're slightly apprehensive about following this group anywhere, but there's little else for it since these are going to be your coworkers. You can only hope that in time they'll see you as something other than an outlet for their lust.

As you walk to the location you scan the rest of the carnival, which mostly consists of a lot of game barker types setting up their crooked games. You do see a few stages where the more traditional sword swallower and fire eater types are preparing themselves. This being a circus and the fact that Roofie said his father was a geek, you can't help but wonder if there are any "freaks" anywhere.

"Hey just wondering are their any Siamese Twins around here or something?" you ask trying to break up the silence.
"Siamese Twins? Way to be racist darlin'. Ha ha, nah just fuckin' with ya, but I believe the correct term is conjoined twins and no we don't have any. There haven't been any freaks in this carnival for decades now. I heard back in the day there were a lot of them here though. Cyclopes, pinheads, four arms abominations of nature, you name it." Ranko remarks.
"How come there aren't any here anymore?"
"Well because we live in a developed country that has access to modern medicine nowadays? I mean most of those freaks were just unlucky bastards that rolled low on the genetics chart when they were born. Thanks to modern medicine they can correct that shit now y'know? Plus you've got all those politically correct types going on about exploitation or some shit. Also if someone IS a genetic freak of nature they can just go on a talk show or the Internet and make money that way. Nope, the time of the sideshow freak has long since passed. I mean sure you get the self made freaks like tattooed and pierced folks, but that's not really the same and it isn't even shocking anymore especially when you've got people cutting their dicks off or shoving glass jars up their ass for free on the net. The best you're going to get around here to freaks are the midgets and they're a dime a dozen, no offense Shrimpy." Ranko says referring to the dwarf clown.
"Fuck you too Ranko." Shrimpy remarks.

Soon you get to an open location near a couple trailers where Ranko says you're all going to go through the routine. It's pretty much like how you first went through it, but you notice several of the clowns are getting a little bit more grabby now.

"Alright, stop, stop. You assholes are supposed to be trying to woo me and fighting with each other, not attempting to gang rape me! I feel one more hand trying to grab my ass and they're losing it!" you say.
"Oh for fuck's sake according to you whatever we do is offensive. I'm just thinking of a way to keep the routine fresh. It'll be funny!" Ranko says.
"Fresh? We haven't even performed it for people yet! Besides isn't this supposed to be a family show? The way Roofie suggested will be fine."
"That old drunk doesn't even perform anymore, he's too busy running this carnival into the fucking ground. He's so fucking out of touch its ridiculous. Kids these days are watching hardcore anal porn as soon as they can log on to the Internet nowadays, so I doubt if a couple of clowns grabbing your ass is even going to register." Ranko says.

At this point Ranko is starting to get more hostile. Your continued defiance of not wanting to be a squeeze toy is getting to him. Despite Roofie being the owner, it's obvious that this Ranko is the "ring leader" of the clowns and he's going to be a dick no matter what. Continuing to antagonize his authority is going to just result in unifying the rest to his side, so you try something else.

"All right Ranko, you want this routine to incorporate a little more risqué business fine, but you're going about it the wrong way. You've got no style."
"Oh? Only been a clown for a few hours and you're already an expert eh? Well go on and enlighten us all then sweetheart."
"Well for one thing Shrimpy should be trying to look under my dress whenever he can due to his size." You say.
"Wait what?" Ranko asks.
"Hey, I'm liking her ideas already!" Shrimpy exclaims.
"You all still need to play to your traits, don't you see? You, Lifto. You're the biggest of the lot so you should be relying on feats of strength in order to impress me like picking me up in your arms."
"Yeah, that makes sense." Lifto remarks.

You go through what the rest of the clowns should be doing and they're remarkably receptive to you and your ideas. You come up with a whole new routine where they each attempt to charm you and how they fail either due to their own ineptness or another clown sabotaging them. The only one who's not liking this idea is Ranko.

"Hey, hey, hey, what about me? Where do I fit in?" Ranko demands.
"You? Well I figured you'd be that completely disgusting suitor that never even gets close to being charming seeing as you're already pretty good in that role. You can be an ongoing participant that gets constantly beat down by the others. Lifto hits you with a mallet, Klepto steals your pants, Shrimpy gives you a hot foot…you know clown stuff. It'll be funny." You say snidely much to Ranko's chagrin.
"Oh no, you're not turning my crew against me! I'M head clown around here not some bottle blonde split tail! We're not agreeing to this shit!" Ranko shouts.
"Speak for yourself Ranko." Klepto says.
"Yeah, I kinda like this idea better, my bit doesn't seem to rely on as much movement on my part." Fatty remarks.
"You're just pissed that a newbie took your idea and made it work against you." Shrimpy adds.

Ranko at this point begins ranting and raving at everyone. He unleashed a torrent of swears that causes the whole carnival to take notice. He calls you a bitch and the rest of them pussy whipped.

"That's it, I'm done with this fucking loser carnival and the rest of you losers as well! I'm fucking RANKO the goddamn clown! I can get a job anywhere! Enjoy living in obscurity with miss frigid over here!" Ranko exclaims and storms off in a huff.

"Good riddance rank breath! And I'm a goddamn natural blonde, you asshole!" you shout as he continues to walk away.

You have to say this plunge into assertiveness has given you a bit of a rush. You like it. When you go back to going through the routine with the others and you notice a decrease in your former uneasiness. The "boys" are still doing a lot of leering and the routine is a little more physical now, but something is different this time. Namely you feel more in control of the situation and that's probably because you are.

"Wow, I really was wasting my natural talent." You think to yourself.

In the middle of the routine, Roofie shows up.

"Well this looks…friendly." He remarks as Lifto is in the middle of setting you back down on the ground.
"Just going through the tweaked routine boss. It was the new girl's idea!" Klepto remarks.
"Yeah, it's going to be good." Shrimpy adds.
"Hrm. Well let's at least try to keep everyone's clothing on shall we?"
"Of course! There isn't going to be any of that. Just going to keep it entertaining for the adult audience too." You say.
"Couldn't help notice Ranko swearing like a sailor and stomping away from the carnival. Ranting about how he's never coming back. You wouldn't know anything about that would you?"
"Not really boss. He just couldn't keep up with the recent changes around here I guess." You say,

Roofie smirks a bit.

"Heh, okay. Well I'm not going to lose any sleep not having to pay that asshole anymore. In any case, saw a few people actually driving up. Look like actual customers, so you guys need to go do your stuff for the crowds."

The rest of the day goes pretty well for you. You and the rest entertain the small crowds (who seem to be mostly from the trailer park community just outside of your town.) that do show up.

By the end of the night you're actually pretty tired and anxious to just flop down somewhere to sleep. Roofie says that thanks to Ranko leaving, his trailer is now empty and says that you can have it if you're willing to ignore the mess he probably left it in. You accept the offer since it'll be better than sleeping in Peter's car.

And its at that point you forgot to call Peter back to let him know to pick his car up!
You check your phone and see that Peter did indeed try to get a hold of you, and once again Bobby left a bunch of texts and messages as well. You're too tired to even bother to read them.

You try to call Peter back, but you get no answer. Probably doing god knows what. You'll try again tomorrow, for now you enter Ranko's trailer and breathe a sigh of relief that the place isn't a health hazard and lie down on his bed.

As you drift off to sleep you chuckle at the irony that Ranko wanted to get you into his bed really badly and all it took was for him to leave.

Next day…

TUESDAY


"…remember time is running out! Our shelters won't be…"

You wake up to instinctively to grab the remote to turn off the TV only to realize that you have no TV, yet you're still hearing those damn Ground Zero commercials.

You groggily sit up and look out a side window and see one of the carnies holding a radio, which is loudly playing one of those advertisements.

Just as well you're up anyway, now that you have actual responsibilities and will have to live these new people you should take this opportunity to meet everyone since despite getting acquainted with your co-workers and the boss, you didn't really interact with anyone else working here.

Still dressed in your outfit from yesterday (mainly because you lack anything else to wear right now) you go out and meet your brand new family full of hope that this will be the start of something wonderful!

The reality turns out to be much different though.

"Honey, why the hell are hanging around with those clowns? I'm sure you'd be better as a sword swallower; in fact I got a way you can practice if you come to my trailer right now!"
"Hey clown girl, I've got a way to paint your face white without the need for make up!"
"Nice tits!"

The female carnies aren't much better.

"So you're the new girl that got her own private trailer huh? Guess a blowjob gets you a lot preference nowadays. Was Roofie even sober at the time?"
"Hey Bozo the Hoe, you think you're hot shit wiggling your ass at everyone? Let me warn you right now, you take my man I'll make sure you won't need to wear a red clown nose at your next performance!"
"No, I don't have any extra clothes you can borrow, Miss Living Skeleton. Go away you anorexic bitch."

Life is never easy outside the basement is it Suzy?

Unfortunately that part of your life is over. You could go back to your trailer and hide you suppose, but it's not the same and besides you've already come to the conclusion that hiding won't solve your problems.

Still, you are feeling a little "ganged up" on so for temporary relief you return to currently the only people that are halfway decent to you now, your fellow clowns.

You enter the clown tent and see them all sitting around talking about something, but then when you enter all their attention is turned towards you.

"Oh hey Suzy, you're here early. We don't usually warm up until a few hours before showtime." Klepto remarks.
"Oh, I'm not here for that, I'm just here since half of the carnival seems to want to fuck me and barrage me with clumsy sexual innuendo."
"And… you came here to get away from that?" Lifto asks.

You chuckle a little.

"Yeah well at least if I stay in here part of it will be work related." You answer which causes a couple of laughs and smiles from the rest.
"Well considering you are one of us, maybe we should go easier on that now." Klepto says.
"I'd certainly appreciate it."
"Hey there are a lot of other women who work here, maybe you could go bond with them and do that whole sisterhood thing?" Lifto says.
"I tried that. They all insulted me and seemed to want to punch me. Well except for that woman with the short red hair that juggles knives. I think she wanted to punch AND fuck me. (Sigh) No, looks like you guys are my only tribe here for now."
"Hm, well get used to it I guess. Nobody likes us clowns that much. To be quite honest one of the reasons we decided to knock off the crude remarks toward you is because you'll be the first new person in years that will be civil to us. No point in making new enemies." Klepto says.
"Really? I thought all carnies stuck together." You say.

Now all the rest of the clowns laugh.

"Hardly. I mean yeah there's a certain unspoken rule that carnies stay united against outsiders and rubes. And we aren't supposed to kill one another, but…well lets just say this very carnival doesn't exactly have a spotless track record in that regard." Klepto says.
"People kill each other here?" you ask a bit alarmed.
"No! Well not in my time anyway…" Klepto remarks trailing off.
"What the hell does that mean? Look I don't want to be part of some murder circus!"
"Damn it Klepto you've scared the girl now! You should've just kept your mouth shut!" Shrimpy exclaims.

At this point the clowns begin arguing with each other, but after a few moments of this bickering you demand that someone explain the situation exactly. Once again Klepto takes it upon himself to be the storyteller.

"Look, I've probably blown it all out of proportion, but there are stories of how back in the day before Roofie or even his dad owned this carnival there was a violent power struggle for control over it that resulted in a lot of dead bodies afterwards."
"Weren't just stories, shit it happened! My family has been a fixture of this carnival for generations too and my grandfather told me about the blood that ran during that fateful day." Shrimpy adds as if Klepto didn't quite put as much stock in these stories and takes over as the storyteller.

"Battle lines were drawn that day. I mean you had dwarves, normals and freaks all siding against each other and the most hated group out of the bunch? The clowns. Now from what my grandfather told me, these clowns were definitely the reason why everyone today thinks of them as being monsters under the beds nowadays. Things of course have changed since then, but as they say the more things change the more they stay the same."
"What do you mean?" you ask.
"I'm saying there's going to be another power struggle soon and given that we're clowns, WE are going to be on the losing end no matter what happens"
"Wait a minute, what about Roofie? I mean isn't he one of us?" you ask.
"Roofie? The fact that he's a clown just makes everyone think we already get preferential treatment. He'll probably be the first one killed being the owner and all. He's old and doesn't have nearly the amount of control he used to anymore. Nope, I believe the change will be coming soon and it'll be truly be a dark day for clowns…well maybe I'll be able to get my people to take me back and YOU can offer to be someone's girlfriend, but the rest of you are fucked."
"Gee, glad to know we'll be able to count on your support Shrimpy, if something does happen." Klepto remarks.

You never realized that carnie "politics" was so complex and dangerous. Before you can panic too much about it Roofie shows up with a bottle in his hand.

"Hey, what're you lot still doing in here? We've actually got people showing up early. Apparently your little routine yesterday got people at that trailer park talking and they brought all the rest of their redneck buddies. Looks like we'll get to rake in one goodly amount of cash before leaving this place. Oh and Suzy, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the car you drove up in? Well looks like it was vandalized in the night."
"What?!" you exclaim.
"All the tires were slashed and someone wrote cunt all over it with face make up. It might be just a hunch, but I'd say Ranko felt like he needed to have to last word."
"(Sigh) Great." You say.
"Well anyway you all need to get out there and do what you do." Roofie orders and leaves.

While the rest get going, you remain sitting starting to worry about what you've got yourself into. Once again you start to wonder if you shouldn't just leave until Klepto touches your shoulder.

"Don't worry Suzy, Shrimpy has been going on like that for as long as I've known him. While things get tense around here at times, I don't think it's going to come to some bloodbath. Besides you can't spend your life worrying about the future, gotta live for the day I say, so let's just take our minds off our troubles by putting on a good show." Klepto remarks.

While Klepto's reassurance is nice, it doesn't really alleviate your concerns. Hell, you can't even leave if you wanted to given that Peter's car is trashed. You can only hope that perhaps in time peoples' attitudes towards you will soften a bit. Right now, you do have work to focus on.

Roofie wasn't lying when he said more people showed up today. You and the rest of the clowns spend a majority of the afternoon walking around keeping the people entertained

Eventually you take a break and decide to check out Peter's car and if it is at all salvageable. When you get to it, it's exactly as Roofie said, all four tires slashed and the word cunt painted all over it. You can't believe nobody saw any of this even during the night. Or maybe they did and didn't give a shit considering you haven't exactly been accepted by most here.

In any event you try to call Peter again, but you get no answer. He hasn't even tried to call you. He must really be involved with work or something. Or maybe he doesn't give a shit about his car. He could easily afford a new one. You also notice Bobby hasn't tried calling you either. You guess he got the hint.

You attempt to start to the car and just as you suspected Ranko must've sabotaged the engine or something under the hood as well. No matter, when you leave you weren't going to be driving this thing anymore anyway. Lacking anymore use for the car, you take a look in the trunk just to see what might be in there and that's when you find something useful. Namely a bunch of clothes…specifically YOUR clothes! Well some of them anyway.

Apparently Peter still had a lot of your old clothes that he stole from you in the past. The other stuff looks like S&M garb, though not all of it the traditional black leather or latex. Some of it is sort of colorful. Festive even.

Well at least you won't be walking around in the same stuff day in day out now. You pack up what you can and head back to your trailer to drop it off. Afterwards you find the rest of your new clown "family" and eat with them. You take the opportunity to tell them a little bit about your former life; you get a surprising amount of sympathy from the others.

"Holy shit, I thought I came from a fucked up family." Klepto remarks.
"Yeah well, like I said I did a lot of hiding in the basement for the most part. Not much of a life I guess, but it kept me sane for the most part." You say.
"Hey, whatever helps you survive the day right?" Shrimpy says.

After a bit more chatting you all get back to work.

As time goes on, there is one person you keep seeing nearby throughout the day, a large man in overalls who while attempting to look like he's NOT staring at you, obviously is. This isn't the usual ogling either because you've gotten accustomed to that, you're getting a really creepy vibe from this guy.

"Maybe we should get Roofie to throw this guy out or something." You say.
"Roofie? I just passed by one of the tents when I got another snack and saw he's currently passed out as usual. Besides, he never throws anyone out as long as they aren't doing something violent. As far a he's concerned every low life that visits this carnival is a potential mark and worth putting up with to get their money." Fatty says.
"The guy looks like a retard. He's probably not used to seeing a girl as beautiful as you before. I mean even under the white face make up and clown clothing, you still look miles better than any of the trailer trash mothers that have come here with their spawn." Shrimpy remarks.
"Well he's really fucking creepy and I don't trust him." You say.
"He's not going to do anything in broad daylight, and even if he does, you know we got your back. Just stick near us and Lifto look extra intimidating." Klepto says.

The night the crowds start thinning out a bit. You imagine that after they put their illegitimate spawn to bed, trailer trash prefers to spend their nights at bars, strip clubs and getting high and/or drunk at home. As for the big retard that was staring at you all day, he seems to have left as well, but you still feel uneasy.

Meanwhile Roofie has reawakened from his temporary drunken stupor to tell everyone that today was a good day and that everyone should get some rest since you're going to be packing this place down first thing tomorrow morning and moving on. He then mumbles something about it all being pointless anyway and staggers back to his own trailer.

"Well looks like that's it. See you tomorrow Suzy." Klepto remarks as he and the rest head towards their trailer.

You on the other hand are still a little nervous about going back to yours.

"Uh, guys do you think I could sleep with you tonight?" you say which causes all of them to turn back towards you in disbelief.
"Wow Ranko would have had a field day with that remark." Klepto chuckles. "You know probably nothing is going to happen. That guy was just some goony retard. Hell, if the freak show still existed, he'd probably be one of the side shows here."
"Look, I'm just still feeling really on edge about that guy from earlier. I mean I could sleep on the floor, I don't care." You say.
"That would be incredibly uncomfortable and probably quite disgusting. Our trailer isn't exactly the cleanest. I mean I'd offer my bed, but given that we're going to need all our energy to pack up tomorrow, I'd like to get a good night's sleep." Klepto remarks.

"Why don't I sleep over in your trailer?" Lifto asks. "I know Ranko's trailer is big enough for one other person. I could stay over, you guys would get a little extra room tonight and you can sleep safely without worry."
"Hrmm, that's…generous of you Lifto." Klepto remarks.
"It's not like that, I'm just offering a solution." Lifto says though it does seem like he might be hoping this act of chivalry will lead to something more.

While you'd hate to cause hard feelings within the group or possibly lead someone on, you know one thing is certain; you still don't want to sleep alone tonight.

You take up Lifto's offer

The more you think about it, the idea of sleeping in possibly cramped quarters isn't exactly appealing, not to mention Klepto said the place wasn't the cleanest. If you lay down the law to Lifto, you're fairly certain he won't try anything.

"Okay Lifto, get your stuff, you can stay over, but I think you know I don't need to tell you to not try anything."
"Sure. Really, it'll be nice just to stay some place less crowded for a change." Lifto remarks and goes to trailer to get whatever it is he's going to need for the night.

Klepto looks a little disappointed, but says nothing and just meekly heads back to his trailer as well. You already can imagine how rumors are going to spread, but you really can't worry about that now. You're not going to worry about possible "hurt" feelings especially when you're not involved with anyone here anyway.

Lifto and you soon head over to your trailer.

"Haven't really had a chance to completely clean up since I was given the place." You mention.
"Still cleaner than our place, and I've been over here a couple times when Ranko had it. Trust me it's starting to look better already."
"(Yawn) Thanks. Man, didn't realize I was getting so sleeping so quickly. I'm going to bed."
"Sure. I'm probably going to be awake for a little while longer, and eventually sleep on the floor."
"You sure you're going to be okay? I mean I know you have to sleep as well."
"I'm sort of a light sleeper, so even when I do fall asleep, I'll easily be able to wake up if someone even tries to pick the lock and creep in here. Don't worry about me, I'll be fine."

You settle down to sleep and speak about a few superficial things to Lifto about how you think you're fitting in here and how you're glad he's staying here the night. He of course is very positive and tries to reassure you that it'll just take awhile, but eventually the rest of the carnies will accept you.

You aren't inclined to believe that, but it's nice to hear before you fall asleep.

At some point in the night you're awakened by Lifto noisily rushing to the door.

"What the hell?" you utter still half asleep.
"Suzy, stay where you are, some motherfucker's trying to break in!" he shouts and with some sort of blunt object in hand he slams the door open. It doesn't sound like he hit the person with the door, but you do hear a scuffle outside.

You look out the window and see who Lifto is fighting with and it's an equally large man. It's same creepy retard that was staring at you all day today. You knew it wasn't going to be safe to be here alone.

You quickly look around for a weapon of your own to help Lifto. Hopefully with all the noise someone else from the carnival will come running to help. (You hope)

Grabbing a knife you cautiously head towards the door still hearing the fighting between Lifto and the retarded hick. You open the door and see them both rolling on the ground. You can't really help due to the retard not being still enough for you to be confident to stab at him, not to mention you're really scared about this whole situation.

Nobody is out to help out either. You call out a couple times and you know it has to be loud enough for SOMEONE to hear now, but its like you're not being helped on purpose.

Lifto and the retard are really going at it and unfortunately it's starting to look like the retard is getting the upper hand. You really don't want to leave, but you figure the best you can do is to go get help from the other clowns.

You turn to run and you manage to get to the end of your trailer, before someone trips you to the ground in the dark followed by a blunt object smashing you in the back of the head. You go unconscious immediately.

When you wake up, you're groggy, naked and firmly strapped to a medical gurney of some sort. You also have a ball gag in your mouth. The room you're in looks to be some sort of basement with a bright light hanging overhead.

The stench of chemicals fills the air and to your left in a darker corner of the room you see a man in a doctor's coat hovering over another gurney with a body on it.

Naturally in such a state you start to panic and ineffectively struggle to get free. The "doctor" hears you and walks over to you.

"Oh, you're up. I'll have to give you more sedative. When Jed and Hugo brought you in, I thought you were going to be a useless slab of meat like they normally bring in. I was glad they showed some restraint this time. Honestly I'm very surprised they just didn't keep you themselves and have some good ol' fashioned fun or at least a quick in out before handing you over, but Jed did mention something about having to haul ass from your carnival as quick as possible."

As you continue to try to struggle and make muted sounds to cry out, the doctor begins fondling you and moving his hands to roam all over your body.

"Mmmm, nice. Not as great as my sister, but then none of them ever are. If I had the time, I'd probably shove it in your vertical smile for a while, but sadly I don't."

The doctor goes over to a tray and grabs some sort of syringe he fully intends on use on you and you've gone from mere panic to sheer terror.

"Really, you're luckier than most that come through here. Normally I keep 'em awake when I do my work, but I need you unconscious to take out those pretty eyes and other vital organs of yours. Wouldn't want you thrashing about or blinking to cause me to cut them all up and making them useless."

You watch helplessly as the needle goes into your arm. The tears run down your cheeks.

"There we go. Won't be long now. (Sigh) I swear it seems like I never get to enjoy my work any more though. I really would've liked to have fun with you. Oh well, I've got some other things to still look forward to."

You drift into unconsciousness again and your life ends where you ironically spent most of your time.

A basement.