You're not about to go traipsing across the world to save a bunch of hippy freaks from some dumb ass Martians.

"I don't think so Moreau, see ya around." You say and get up to leave the bar, before anyone else asks you for any favors. You don't get two feet outside of the place and suddenly you're assaulted by a terrible smell. The stench is not unlike that of hot garbage during a heat wave. You turn around holding your nose and see Andre with his big ol' stupid grotesque fly head.

"Hey Wolf... Can you spare me some money?" he asks
"Fuck Andre! Stand the hell away from me! What the hell? Did you roll around in a septic tank?"
"Uh no, I just ate some fresh turds back in the alleyway…"
"I don't even know why I asked you that, I already knew the answer. Ugh." you say continuing to hold your nose.
"They tasted pretty good to me. Hey, but I could use some of that sweet sugar. You got any spare change so I can get me a box of the stuff?"
"Fuck no! I barely have enough money for me! Phew! Just get the fuck away!"
"Aw come on, help a brother out."
"Broth… what the…look nevermind, I ain't got time for this shit Andre, if you want sugar so bad just go into a fast food place and stock up on those little free packets!"
"I can't! A lot of those places use that artificial sugar now! Don't those idiotic humans know that stuff can cause cancer?! Besides whenever they see me coming they start spraying raid on me and hitting me in the head with swatters. I've even attempted to sneak in quietly, but they always seem to sense I'm coming, I can never understand how they do that."
"Gee, I can't imagine how they'd be able to do it, Andre." You say still holding your nose futility trying to block out Andre's odor.
"I just wish I could get with Janice, she's got ALL the sugar! (Buzz) But she won't have anything to do with me; She thinks I'm just low class trash."
"Well if you're eating shit, I'd say she's pretty much right."
"It's not just her sugar I'm after though, I think she's beautiful! She has such heavenly wings, and a nice abdomen! Yep she really kept herself in good condition after all these years. (Buzz)"
"Yeah that's real nice Andre, tell someone who cares."

You start to leave and then Andre has the nerve to grab you by the arm.

"Wolf, please you gotta help me out! I can't live like this anymore, I thought I could being part fly and all, but it's getting too bad! I'm nearly killed everywhere I go and I'm getting too old to defend myself adequately! Humans hate the sight of me and I disgust them! I need to a home! Janice has a home! You gotta help me convince her that we should be together! Look, you know she's rich too! You said you were in need of money too right? Maybe if we're successful, something can be worked out."

You help Andre

Maybe you're getting a little soft in your old age, but you can somewhat sympathize with Andre, he's in an even worse situation than you. He's been stricken by bad luck more than you have. Helping him could be financially beneficial, plus if Andre had a home, he wouldn't be constantly bothering you for money every time you walked into town.

"Alright Andre I'll help, just stand back and get your fucking disease ridden hands off of me! And don't touch me again!"
"Okay, I can do that. Thanks Wolf! I swear I won't forget this!"
"Yeah, yeah, now what do you want me to do?"
"I need you to deliver this letter to her; it's a poem about how I feel about her and how I've always felt about her. I know if she just read this she'd give me a chance!"

You take the crumpled letter which reeks of Andre's overall foulness, but you still have more questions.

"Andre I know you've always wanted to do some buggery on Janice, but I hardly see how this is going to change how she feels and why the hell can't you do this?"
"Because every time I even try to get NEAR her mansion she has her guards chase me off! Its like when I try to sneak in anywhere people can somehow sense I'm coming!"
"Andre, did it ever occur to you to that your fucking ODOR is the reason?"
"Odor? What odor?" Andre asks like it's the first time anyone's ever suggested that to him that before. "Look I know in my heart that if she read my words, she'd fall for me, just like I know you'll be able to get in and give her that letter!"
"This is starting to sound like a lot of effort for possibly no reward…"
"Arrrgh! Look when you get in there, you could always just rip something valuable off! Just please, you gotta give her that letter!"

You look at the love letter (which has remarkable penmanship) and shake your head. Looks like you're on a bug hunt.

"Alright Andre you're lucky her mansion isn't far and I'm not busy right now. I just turned down an offer to live on an island paradise for the rest of my life in exchange for getting rid some Martians."
"What, you mean Moreau's offer? He offered me a similar deal, but then quickly retracted it for some reason. But Wolf I know you wouldn't have wanted to help some hippy freaks you don't even know! But this is different! In this case you're helping out an old friend gain true love!"
"Okay listen up, I'm not, nor will I ever be your friend. I'm doing this for my own reasons. When I return, meet me back here at this bar."

You turn and eagerly leave Andre to go back to your cabin. You don't normally like to wash, but in this case you definitely feel the need to! After thoroughly scrubbing down, you take your Harley and drive over to Janice's mansion which is just a couple of counties away. It doesn't take you long to get there.

You haven't really seen this place except once a long time ago and it looked like a regular mansion, now the place looks like a concentration compound; there is a big metal gate and barbed wire lined walls surrounding the mansion. The mansion itself looks like some half weird insect hive, half man made structure. As soon as you park near the gate you're approached by some figures marching in unison like soldiers. They're like big ants or at least they look like THEM. Something weird is going on.

"You! Inferior hairy mammal! What business do you have here at the Hive?!" one of the ant guards asks clicking his mandibles angrily.
"I'm supposed to deliver a letter to Janice."
"Watch you tongue, dog! You mean the Supreme Hive Queen! And she does not see inferiors such as you! Be gone, you impotent mangy mutt!"

Well you're used to people not liking you, but hearing it from a giant bug is still pretty insulting.

You argue with the guards

Outnumbered or not, you're not about to let some overgrown insect mouth off to you like that!

"Impotent?! Fuck off, you fucking transantsexual! Everyone knows that all of you drones are fucking females that don't get to mate! That explains why you're all hostile all the time. I'd be hostile too if I wasn't getting any, unless you're all dyking it out and using those mandible on each others abdomens! Now let me in, I'm suppose to give this letter to Janice!"
"Insolent dog! First of all drones are fucking MALE dipshit! Use the correct terminology at least! And second, you're not getting in here! You're a lowly mammal! You will leave now or become melted down for food!"
"I'm not leaving until I give this letter to Janice!"

You half expect THEM to open up the gates and attack you, but surprisingly one of THEM steps forward and addressed you in a more civilized manner.

"Look, what's so important in the goddamn letter that it has to be taken to her Majesty?"
"Its some love nonsense from Andre…"

As soon as you mention Andre, all of THEM begin clicking their mandibles.

"Andre? That fly fucker who's been stalking the Queen for years?"
"Yeah, apparently he's been trying give this letter to her; he says you guys chase him off, so he's got me to do it. He says she'll instantly fall in love with him after she reads it, I think he's wasting his time, but there's no point in telling him that."
"So do you think he'll stop stalking her, if this letter was finally delivered, regardless of the outcome?"
"I dunno, maybe." You say.
"Alright, give me the letter I'll take it to her, we're sick of that smell every time he comes around here anyway."

You give the guard the letter

You hand the guard the letter through the gate, who goes scuttling off to the mansion. The previous ant guard you were arguing with keeps watch on you, while the others go about their normal marching drills.

Soon the other guard returns.

"The Queen says while she's flattered by such words, she has no interest in Andre and never has. She also says she hopes that this will finally put an end to his obsessive stalking. Goodbye mammal, you have no further business here."

Well that was certainly abrupt. You get back on your bike and return home. You can't help but think the guard probably just ripped up the letter, but there's not much you can do about it now. You tell Andre what happened, and he seems crushed, but you don't really give a damn, since you basically wasted your time and didn't get anything out of this. You tell Andre to never bother you again or you'll shove a bug zapper up his ass.

You return home pissed off and give Erik another call. You end up having to take a job as a special guest at a comic convention where you have to endure the inane rambling of hundreds of nerdy humans, which results in you being arrested after you maul a couple of them due to your short tolerance level.