Click.

"…well I still say a compromise can be achieved if we all just sat down and talked things out. I mean at the core, we aren't really so different. I mean we're human beings, for God's sake; we shouldn't be killing each other like animals! I mean..."

Click.

"…are you worried about these uncertain times? Do you stay up at night thinking about the current fucked up situation the world is in? Wondering if some mad man is going to finally press the button, putting an end to it all? Do you think how you'll spend your final moment with your loved ones huddled around you and crying before you're all reduced to mere shadows? Scared that you can't do anything about it? You are? Well never fear! Ground Zero Survival is here! You'll find that the…"

Click.

"…situation has worsened; more troops were deployed today, but…"

Click.

"...how about our President huh? If he was anymore reactionary, I'd think we were living in the country we're currently at war with! Am I right? What country are we at war with anyway? Anyone remember? Did we just spin the wheel again or what? You guys are a great audience! Hey did you hear…"

Click.

"…about peace? Oh gimme a fuckin' break! You think that pussy ass we are the world shit's gonna fly? You can't teach those fuckin' people nothing! You want my solution to the goddamn problem? BLOW IT ALL THE FUCK UP! We can clean up later and…"

Click.

"…pray in these dark times! We must place our faith in Jesus! For when Judgment Day comes he will save all of us that are the faithful, and God will punish the wicked! Oh it will be such a glorious time when…"

Click.

"…you act now you'll get ten percent off! We here at GZS also believe in quality and you'll find our shelters are designed with your family's safety in mind! We have worked hard to make sure our shelters will sustain you and your family years after the entire surface has been turned to ashes! After all don't…"

Click.

"…you think genocide is the answer? I can't believe you just advocated that on national TV! I suppose you think Hitler was right too huh? Its people like you that…"

Click.

"…are the best audience in the world! I tell ya, it's been great. You can catch my next show at…"

Click.

"…the radioactive fuckin' wasteland that the whole goddamn Earth is going to become! You think any of this shit matters? All the fuckin' talk in the world ain't changing shit now! We're on the fast train to nukesville and I for one ain't gonna worry about it! Y'know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna quit this stupid ass job, and spend the rest of my savings on fuckin' hookers! Yeah that's right, I fuckin' said it and I don't care because when you think about it…"

Click.

"...isn't your family's survival worth it?"

This advertisement has been paid for by Ground Zero Survival Inc.

You zzzzzzzzzzzzz

Monday 8:00 AM

You groggily wake up from the sofa like you always do, dreading to have to go to work at your pointless job. You haven't been sleeping well lately, you don't know what the hell the problem is, and all you know is you're going to be tired for work again. As you go through your routine of getting ready, the TV can be heard; as usual you left it on from the night before.

"…And peace talks broke down today, as several ambassadors engaged in a physical fight at the UN…Neo-Communist party gaining favor in Russia… more terrorist bombings in European Union cities…US troops won another victory in the Middle East…mysterious epidemic in China, several million dead…skirmishes on the Indian-Pakistan border…world wide tensions at an all time high…"

Same old doom and gloom on TV; you wonder why you even bother watching the news anymore. Still it does seem like things are getting worse, late at night when you're suffering from your usual insomnia, you've been catching infomercials attempting to sell bomb shelters, like something out of a 1950s propaganda film. It seems silly, but you do wonder if it's only a matter of time before someone presses the button.

Then again you live out in the boonies, you've always thought that if the world ever did blow up; you'd doubt you'd even notice until you drove to work the next day and saw the ruins of the city. Speaking of which you better get going or you'll be late.

You head to work

You turn off the TV and head to work, no point in worrying about things you can't do shit about. You have other real everyday problems to deal with.

You go about your mundane life, doing mundane tasks at your mundane job, talking to your mundane co-workers about mundane things. Not much changes.

One month later...


Monday 8:00 AM

You groggily wake up from the sofa like you always do, dreading to have to go to work at your pointless job. You haven't been sleeping well lately, you don't know what the hell the problem is, and all you know is you're going to be tired for work again. As you go through your routine of getting ready, the TV can be heard; as usual you left it on from the night before.

"…Russian hardliners seized control of the government…Chinese epidemic has worsened; entire country is under quarantine…UK has withdrawn all association from the EU…Senate dissolved in US, martial law enacted…India declared open war on Pakistan…mass starvation in Africa… world wide depression…

Same old doom and gloom on TV, a lot more serious now though. Those "silly" bomb shelter infomercials have increased; you've also been noticing an increase in survival type book titles whenever you browse the book stores now and the Emergency broadcasting system has been doing A LOT of tests lately. Something bad is going to happen and it's going to happen soon.

You go about your life which isn't quite so mundane, world politics is a constant topic at work, and many of your co-workers aren't even coming in to do their job. All the married ones are no doubt spending time with their families, in fact the work place really isn't a work place anymore so much as it is a "socializing site". A lot of them believe the world is coming to an end anyway, so they might as well have a good time. Attempting to go about your normal life isn't an option anymore; neither is buying a bomb shelter at this late stage.

You indulge in the festivities

You've never really been a party person, but if this is it, maybe you can have some fun before the end comes. There's plenty of food and liquids of all kinds at your place of work. The entire office is turned into party central. Nobody bothers going home; it's actually safer to stay inside the office building anyway since the National Guard is attempting to restore what little order there is in the city. Everyone makes sure to stay away from windows.

Even though you attempt to enjoy yourself, you still have a nagging bit of "concern" for what lies ahead in the future and just can't quite loosen up completely; you're about the only one who still bothers to keep up on current events by watching TV and looking at the internet in between non-stop merrymaking. Eventually one of your co-workers Greg walks in on you watching the news by yourself. He's not exactly what you'd consider a friend, but he's an acquaintance you normally talked to when you actually did work.


"Jesus Christ man! There's a non-stop party going on and you're in here wasting time watching TV?" Greg says holding a bottle of beer.
"I just want to see if the situation has improved…"
"Are you kidding me? It ain't improving man! The world's going to hell in a hand basket, and the sooner you accept that fact the better! Why don't you go talk to Marina in accounting, didn't you always have a crush on her or something?"
"Well yeah, but…"
"But? But nothing man! There ain't no time left anymore! Hell I haven't seen you participate in ONE orgy since you've been here!"
"I dunno, seems unsanitary, I don't want to catch something, and I don't want everyone to see me naked."

Greg puts one of his hands on his face and shakes his head in disbelief of your answer. He then throws his beer bottle into the TV screen breaking them both.

"WAKE THE FUCK UP! This is fuckin' it man! There ain't nothing coming after this! We're all gonna die in a fiery nuclear explosion! You think it's really gonna matter if in the off chance that you do catch AIDS or some shit, you'll be alive long enough to die from it? And nobody gives a shit about how small your dick is…"
"HEY! My dick isn't small! Its average length for someone of my height!" you protest.
"Whatever man! Look what I'm trying to say is, everyone is just here to have a good time and grab some pleasure before the nukes start flying, and nobody's even caring about looks right now. Shit, that fat troll Phil must be getting more action now than he ever has in his entire life! You thought Phil was disgusting looking with his clothes on, he ain't any prettier with his clothes off, and yet he has banged Kate no less than ten times since we started this Armageddon party and you know how fucking fine she is!"
"Really? Phil?"
"I'm telling you man, you NEED to go talk to Marina and get you some of that before the bombs start dropping!"

Greg sees that you're still a little apprehensive about the idea.

"Fine then, or don't. It doesn't matter to me man. I'm going back to the party, I'm not gonna stand here wasting my time talking to you when I could be fucking Kate. I just hope I can get to her before Phil this time."

Greg leaves you to ponder the situation.