After many a year of faithful service,
Our first Swash grew old and left us
High and dry, with bottoms malodorous.
Yet as it does, life went on, 
with each wipe and flush a bittersweet reminder
Of what once was, a time when a warm splash and a gentle blast of air soothed and cleaned, confidence assured.
With memories of the halcyon days of fresh, sweet cheeks growing dim, 
The machine replacing my brain showed me an ad for a new Brondel Swashl,
Oh my, could it be true, improved? Better? Never I think.
So the brain machine took numbers from one of my plastic wafers and soon the Swash arrived.
Beyond belief, our bottoms, one big the other bigger, both embraced by the molded heated seat, nether regions cleansed by warm, precision guided sprays of water and oh, that warm air that completes the cleaning experience.
If true that cleanliness is next to Godliness, the Swash 1400 is heaven on earth.