I tried the firmer side for a few days first, then the softer side. I prefered the softer side for when I'm on my back. The firmer side wasn't firm enough for my neck when I was on my side, so I bought a different pillow for when I'm not on my back. For me it is not a big deal to switch pillows since I start on my back and then the rest of the night is side to side sleeping. I do love this pillow and would recommend it for the sole reason of being given two pillows in one!