proofread：Identity confusion and a personal identity crisis were the main challenges I faced in switching majors. I had established my identity and style in the field of graphic design, but these strengths became useless in the 4D major. This made me feel very frustrated and upset. I began to wonder if I had made the right decision and if I should stay in my old field.
However, as I learned and explored, I came to understand that identity is not just a label or an external symbol; it is a reflection of one's internal identity and self-worth. My change of major was not to negate what I had learned and done before, but to explore a new field and find my place and value in it. Through continuous exploration and practice, I slowly began to establish my own identity and style in the new field.
As a student with some experience in the graphic design field, changing my major to 4D was a huge challenge for me. I felt at first that I would be able to easily adapt to the new environment and discipline, but in reality, my struggle and pain lasted for a long time. I felt deeply ungrounded in my new discipline and unsure of my place and identity in the field.
From the perspective of interdisciplinary learning, I think identity confusion and personal identity crisis is a common phenomenon. When learning a new field, people may feel that they have lost their previous identity and values, which can lead to a kind of identity crisis and self-doubt. However, by maintaining a positive attitude toward learning and continuing to explore, we can establish our identity and value in a new field.
All in all, my journey to change my major has been a challenging and painful experience, but it has also been an opportunity for me to explore and discover my identity.
During my studies, I often felt self-doubt and anxiety as I worried whether I was talented and capable enough to compete with other artists. However, post-modernist theory made me realize that art and design should respect plurality and individuality, rather than striving for perfection and uniformity. By expressing my own unique views and feelings, I can find my own value and place. Heidegger's theory also revealed to me that I should focus on my own inner existence and feelings, and explore and understand my uniqueness through expression. Therefore, I should let go of comparison and the pursuit of perfection, focus on my uniqueness and individuality, and explore and understand myself through expression.
My self-doubt and anxiety may stem from excessive comparison of myself and excessive pursuit of external standards.
In short, the difficulties and reflections I face in the creative process stem from self-doubt and excessive pursuit of external standards.
These difficulties push me to constantly think about what I am and what my relationship with people around me is like. As a result of some personal experiences, I suddenly realized that I was a suspended island and that it was so difficult to connect with others. I then produced a series of artworks that explored relationships. In the process, after studying Kevin Kelly and other theories about the relationship between humans and machines, I began to realize that I liked falsehoods and felt that my floating state could be well expressed by AI. This realization got me thinking about the relationship between humans and machines and the possible reversals that could occur in the future.
Kevin Kelly's AI theory argues that as AI technology continues to evolve, the boundaries between humans and technology will gradually blur and humans will no longer be the only cognitive subject. This trend triggers my critique of human self-identity because it is clear that it is no longer possible to define oneself in anthropocentric terms.
Human self-identity has always been based on an understanding of the natural and cultural environment, but with the advancement of technology, this identity is being broken. We are now faced with the question of whether we will still be able to define ourselves and our way of being, or whether we will be defined by technology. This question triggers a suspension of humanity, where we no longer know our place and meaning in the world.
This suspension and the critique of self-identity is also a critique that challenges our existing values and beliefs and forces us to rethink who we are and how we should live. In this process, we must pay attention to our inner world and constantly engage in self-exploration and reconfiguration.
The relationship between humans and machines has always been a highly controversial topic. In the past, it was often thought that humans were the masters and controllers of machines. However, with the continuous development and popularity of artificial intelligence, this perception has begun to change. There is a growing awareness that the relationship between humans and machines is interdependent, rather than a one-way dominant relationship.
In my personal psychoanalysis, I realized that my preference for falsehoods may stem from dissatisfaction with and escape from reality. I found that virtual reality and artificial intelligence could provide a way to escape from reality, allowing me to forget my real problems and struggles for a while. However, I also recognize that this escape does not really solve the problem, but may exacerbate my confusion and anxiety.
Also, I was inspired by some theories that a reversal between humans and machines may occur in the future. This means that humans will no longer be the masters and controllers of machines, but will act as parasites on AI. This idea triggered me to think about and challenge human self-identity. We have always thought of ourselves as autonomous, conscious beings, but if we become parasites on AI, will we still be able to maintain that awareness and consciousness?
These reflections and challenges have led me to question and explore human self-identity.
My creative philosophy stems from thinking about relationships and suspension. I believe that humans are a suspended existence, that we exist in the world but are also contained by it. And our relationships with the world and others are at the core of creation. My work aims to explore these relationships, both between people, between people and technology, and between people and themselves.
My artistic style reflects this idea. I use multimedia technology and experimental expression to bring the viewer into my inner world, exploring the ambiguous and suspended state of self-perception through expression. My work is both an expression and an exploration. I often use light materials such as balloons to convey a sense of floating and levitation, while using high-tech means such as artificial intelligence to explore the relationship between humans and technology. My works allow the viewer to empathize, to feel their own relationship with the world, and to contemplate their own state of being.
From a philosophical point of view, I am influenced by Heidegger. He believed that people should understand their uniqueness by focusing on their own existence and that of the world around them. This makes me pay more attention to my inner feelings, so that I can express my inner pain and explore the ambiguous state of self-perception in my own way. In addition, I am also inspired by postmodernist theory. In a pluralistic, fluid and flexible post-modern society, individuals must adapt to the ever-changing social and cultural environment and have the ability to innovate and transform themselves. Therefore, my works are constantly changing in form and material to adapt to their own development and exploration.
I have also been caught in this mindset. In the early stages of my art making, I always created one-to-one artworks. I felt that such works could better show the relationship between individuals and allow the audience to better understand my artistic concepts and ideas. However, as I explored my art more deeply, I gradually realized the limitations of this mindset.
Often times, we find ourselves stuck in a certain mindset, repeating the same actions and ways of thinking over and over again. This stereotype often limits our vision and imagination, preventing us from seeing a wider world and more possibilities. When we become aware of this stereotype, we need to take some ways to break it, thus opening up new patterns of thinking and acting.
While a one-to-one relationship can present communication and interaction between individuals, it struggles to express the broader social and cultural context, as well as the relationship between humans and nature and technology. This mindset makes me feel depressed and bound, making it difficult for me to explore a broader field of art and deeper thinking.
Therefore, I began to try to break this mindset so that I could find new inspiration and ways of thinking about creation. I began to explore the artistic expression of groups and collectives, presenting a broader social and cultural context through group interaction and collective behavior. I began to focus on the relationship between humans and nature and technology, exploring new ways of artistic expression and creative materials. This process of thinking out of the box was refreshing and energizing, allowing me to rediscover the infinite possibilities of art.
In the process of creating my art, I also realized the importance of my inner and emotional state in influencing my works. In my early works, I always tried to show a perfect and stable emotional state, so that the audience could feel a safe and stable emotional atmosphere. However, such emotional states were often false and superficial, and could not express my true inner feelings and emotional states.
Therefore, I began to try to express my inner pain and uneasiness in my works, exploring my emotional state and inner world through artistic expression
In short, my art world seems to be limited to a one-to-one relationship, which makes it difficult for me to understand and express more complex and profound human relationships. The interpretation of the series of works of the gazed series shows my exploration of the inner pain and sense of disappearance of the male gaze. The series is relatively homogeneous in its use of materials, which was related to my limitations at the time regarding my own artistic style and materials. However, I soon realized this limitation and tried to explore my inner feelings and thoughts in depth. I began to realize that art is a way to explore the relationship between people. Through creating art, I can express my thoughts and feelings about human relationships and the way humans interact with machines. Therefore, I try to explore different materials and vehicles and incorporate them into my works to express my thoughts and feelings.
Among my artistic creations, the series of works of being gazed at is one of the themes I explore most deeply. I deeply feel what I feel when I am being gazed at by men, and this feeling makes me feel uneasy and painful. However, I also felt that my works looked like feminist works from the last century, which made me feel extremely confused and uneasy. I began to think that my art creation needed to explore and reflect more deeply in order to better express my thoughts and feelings.
In the process of exploring self-reflection and learning, I began to explore my own floating state. I realized that I often felt confused and uncertain, but also enjoyed this state. I began to think that this floating state is related to the human suspension and the blurring of self-perception. In my artwork, I try to use new materials and vehicles to express my inner feelings and thoughts.
I experimented with wax and 3D printing as a material to create an installation of myself melting because of being gazed at. Through this installation, I tried to express the pain of being stared at and the feeling of loss of self. However, I realized that this way of expression was too limited to a one-to-one artistic expression. I needed to find new materials and vehicles to better express my inner feelings and reflections.
In the process of my artistic exploration, I have thought deeply about the relationship between humans and machines. Especially after exploring the gazed series, I began to try to find more diverse forms of artistic expression in order to better express my inner world and my understanding of the relationship between human and machine.
I found that I felt very comfortable with the floating state of ai and empathized with this virtual creation. I thought this state could represent the floating uncertainty of human beings themselves, and that we often feel lost and unsettled in modern society, like floating in an unknown ocean. I began to try to use balloons and artificial intelligence as materials and carriers to create works that could explore this floating state more deeply. I believe that the floating series of works show my ambiguous thinking and exploration of human relationships and self-perception.
I was inspired by the theory of Glitch Feminism. In Aria Dean's essay "Glitch Feminism," she proposes a new feminist theory that the perceived negative elements of "destruction, error, malfunction, and collapse" can be seen as a way to rebel against the existing system and also represent an attitude of resistance. This theory sparked my interest and I began to explore the application of this idea to my artwork.
I tried to use balloons and artificial intelligence as a vehicle to create works that could accommodate more people, breaking the narrative limitations of 1v1 works and creating a story and art that could accommodate more people. I found that balloons are such a powerful artistic vehicle that they can float, expand and contract freely, expressing the floating and unpredictable nature of humans, while also conveying my thoughts and understanding of the human-computer relationship. Balloon theory provides a useful perspective to help me understand the relationship between emotions and self-perception. According to this theory, when emotions increase, an individual's self-perception also expands. This corresponds to my experience in creative work, where my inner feelings and emotions influence my creative work, making me more confident or restless. Also, the levitating state of the balloon can be used to explain the ambiguity of the individual's self-perception. When a balloon is suspended in the air, its position is uncertain and difficult to define precisely. Similarly, there may be ambiguity in an individual's self-perception, for example, there may be ambiguity and uncertainty in the perception of one's emotions, motivations and values.
In this process of exploration, I discovered the influence of Balloon Theory on my artwork. Balloon theory is a theory developed by psychologist Daniel Goleman to explain the effect of emotions on an individual's self-perception. This theory has given me a deeper understanding of self-perception and emotional expression, and has inspired me to explore artistic expression.
I believe that an individual's self-perception is like a balloon, and emotions are like the gas in the balloon. When emotions increase, just like the gas in the balloon increases, the individual's self-perception also expands. Conversely, when emotion decreases, the individual's self-perception also contracts. Thus, an individual's emotion and self-perception are interrelated. In my artwork, I try to convey my inner feelings by expressing emotions, and at the same time reflect my state of self-perception.
In addition, the levitating state of the balloon can also be used to explain the ambiguity of an individual's self-perception. When a balloon is suspended in the air, its position is uncertain and difficult to define precisely. Similarly, there may be ambiguity in an individual's self-perception, for example, there may be ambiguity and uncertainty in the perception of one's emotions, motivations and values. In my artworks, I try to express the ambiguity and uncertainty of inner feelings and the state of self-perception through the use of balloons as a vehicle.
I began to understand that art is not only a form of expression, but also an exploration and expression of the inner world and human relationships.
Balloon theory has given me a new perspective to re-examine human relationships. In my opinion, levitation is not only the state of balloons, but also our interpersonal state. People often feel bound and powerless in interpersonal relationships, a feeling like a balloon being firmly tied to the ground. And when we have new knowledge and understanding of interpersonal relationships, we are like balloons that can break free from bondage and enter a state of freedom and suspension.
I create works to express my thinking and understanding of human relationships. In my previous works, the one-to-one narrative limited my expression, but with the combination of balloons and ai, I began to experiment with 1v more stories and artistic expression. By using balloons and ai as materials and carriers, I try to break the bonds of human relationships and enter a freer, more open state. This also allows me to express a sense of floating in my work.

For me, technology and art are inseparable. I try to present inner pain and emotions through the use of new technologies. I believe that technology is not only an innovation and progress, but it can also be a medium for expressing ourselves and understanding the world. In my works, I use new technologies such as artificial intelligence and virtual reality to create more ways of expression and art forms.
My work is also influenced by the context of contemporary art. In today's art field, more artists are exploring new art forms and mediums to express their thoughts and emotions. I try to place my works in the contemporary art context in order to gain wider recognition and resonance. I believe that only through continuous innovation and exploration can I better express my inner feelings and reflections.
In conclusion, balloon theory has had a profound impact on my creation and understanding of human relationships. My works have been liberated from the one-to-one narrative and entered a freer and more open artistic expression. At the same time, I have discovered the inextricable relationship between technology and art, and placed my work in a contemporary art context for wider recognition and resonance. I will continue to explore and innovate, injecting more inspiration and reflection into my works.