I don't know why. When I got in my grade school years, all of my friends are boys. We hang out, bully and torture other students life. I even courted some of my girl classmates, ending up being friends which in the end is better than having a relationship with them (i became more closer to them). Came my high school years, I transferred in an all girls school and I was delighted that I will have lots of girls around me. My interest in girls grew stronger and the chance of having a "girlfriend" is like a chicken feed for me. Just to be part of the new environment, I had girl crushes, courted a few and off course had a relationship with the same gender. I felt so free and liberated. I feel so accepted with this environment. But then I don't know when and how I started to be confused. Is it when my seatmates are the kikay one's and taught me how to apply nail polish? Or is it when I had a huge crush on my P.E teacher? The feeling of ambivalence is there.
ANAK TALAGA NG PATING OO! ndi ko alam kung naka alis ng sama ng loob itong ginawa ko. mukhang isang katerbang pride nanaman ang aking kinain at nilunok. napaka hayop tlaga ng lalaking ito! bakit ganto katindi ang epekto sa akin! lumipas ang buong araw at sobrang ngitngit parin ng aking nararamdaman.. naglinis ulit ako ng aking kwarto.. nilinis ko ulit ang buong bahay... nagpaligo ng mga aso para maalis ang asar sa mga pang yayari. hay buhay nga naman oo.. bakit ganto.. hindi matanggal ang inis ko! pag dating ng kinagabihan as usual nag online nanaman ako... tingin tingin.. search search... chat chat... pero ndi ko napigilan ang sarili kong i-view ang kanyang friendster ulit! nakakainis ka talaga ang sabi ko sa sarili ko... lalo kong nainis ng mabasa ko ang shout out nya! eto nanaman ang damuho!