we didn't attend a Catholic mass. she brought me to a fellowship. i saw all the instruments and the stage, and all the cool stuff.. ooohh.. and 'ooopps! stop right there girl. you are not gonna buy that again. you've been in this scenario before. remember? being a worshipful dummy?' i was so scared that i might want to join them just because i enjoyed and not because of the true meaning of worship. but the 'mass'(i don't know how they call it) went really well. in fact, it was so well that i'm thinking of being converted. yes, i enjoyed. i enjoyed because i really felt His presence. i enjoyed because i think, it's what he wants for me. i enjoyed because i can clearly understand the preaching of their pastor and can really relate to it. i want to go there every Sunday. i want to learn more about their church before i get converted.
so ayun eto na talaga yung simula. andami ko pang sinabi eh noh. naramdaman ko na ata ang pinaka masakit na pwedeng mangyari sa isang tao emotionally. yung ituring ka ng nanay mo na parang wala lang. basta para sakin yun na pinakamasakit. hindi mapapantayan 'to ng panloloko ng mga boylets o pang-iiwan ng mga BFFs. kasi nanay mo yun eh. dun ka nanggaling sa tiyan niya.. when i said parang wala lang, yun yung magpaparamdam siya sayo kung kelan niya lang gusto, bigla na lang siyang mawawala at maiiwan kang parang tanga sa kakaalala sa kanya. oo nandun nako kaya daw siya biglang di nagrereply sa mga text kasi nagkaproblema siya. pero bat di niya magawang ipaliwanag sakin kahit mabilisan lang?ano ako 7 year-old?? ayokong manumbat pero sumobra na nga ng dekada ang di niya pagpapakita samin dati pero tinanggap pa din namin siya ng buong puso pero eto nanaman as if hindi pa sapat ang pain na naidulot non samin? A. gusto kong magalit.