Yes it is better for us to be thrown out and cast away again, be slandered and hated exactly just like what our last congregation did to us, than for us to lose our lives and that beautiful future we have always looked forward to. I have somehow gotten used to the trend of being branded as the bad guy when people fail to get what they want from me. But there is nothing more horrifying and unacceptable than how on top of it all, these people could so wrongly accuse that I felt sad and jealous because I failed to take part in their loathsome deed! I cannot imagine how others could be so twisted so as to make themselves believe that I felt deeply crushed because I failed to take home the trophy in their prestigious event, their “contest of disobedience to Jehovah.” If I ever felt bad about what happened, it was because of seeing someone you once respected fall into a downward spiral motion and render everything he had done for God useless.
Subalit wala nang mas nakakatakot pa at mas hindi katanggap-tanggap kaysa sa pagkatapos ng lahat ng ito ay magagawa pa akong may kamaliang akusahan ng mga taong ito na ako raw ay nalulungkot at naiinggit sapagkat ako ay nabigong makasali sa kanilang karima-rimarim na gawain! Hindi ko lubos na maisip kung gaano kabuktot ang kaisipan ng mga taong ito upang mapapaniwala nila ang kanilang mga sarili na ako ay lubhang nasisiil sapagkat ako ay nabigong makamit ang tropeo sa kanilang prestihiyosong pagdiriwang, ang kanilang “patimpalak ng pagsuway kay Jehova.” Kung ako man ay nalungkot sa pangyayaring iyon, iyon ay dahil sa pagkakita sa isang taong minsang lubos na iginalang ko na mahulog at malugmok sa isang kalunos-lunos na kalagayan at masayang ang lahat ng mga ginawa niya para sa Diyos.