# Text Posts from the Kids Group: 2020

Another round of liberating kid posts from [Facebook](https://www.jefftk.com/p/making-groups-for-kid-pictures). For reference, in 2020 Lily turned 6 and Anna turned 4.

(Some of these were from me; some were from Julia. Ones saying "me" could mean either of us.)

[2020-01-01](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3016046538536542/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZUen2eW0H2QTXNfnFSiPnS9piS_mFKR3x-SdMSfd9sKRJ7ozX3eMGrOmBJIKEaLvgziO2oVZHuKmKkbWdMEiKThahEoLe8BtXAkVxtMhK1B_XAWJYwEHNRl8E2LcMqCT3UTOdewMBPwV2_A5YwIrcV5SYi6Ip15kI1wDVoIBqbPTk-E8UCdaQTY5807O_q0bxM&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

We went to the movies, and brought our own popcorn. When I passed the popcorn to Lily during the movie she was indignant, saying that we weren't supposed to bring in our own food. She ate one piece, but then said it wasn't ok and wouldn't eat more.

When the movie ended, Lily wanted us to tell the people at the concession stand and apologize: "Tell them! \*Tell\* them." She started trying to bargain with Julia: "I'll give you a penny if you tell them. Two pennies! Three pennies, \*Five\* pennies!"

But then we were outside and she was excitedly pretending to be Elsa, running down the sidewalk without a coat.

[2020-01-10](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3024819594325903/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZX1nnEH1bx-ItbTuZ9_RUs3cyee882rRLzXLNuL1Pn-EIhBuwHwxHeTfFn_TxLdqAzkRWZnIbdco0909dbV8JvsCNhyuEBlTfUerACN4wsy_jRPm5OmwrsyKnYh-rxsLUothzifL_0PMS5huJ-lVDsau0powmrp7EEmGC1aTQVZgJw5xeOIhLu5SPyiOUW0Sas&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

I left for a trip on Tuesday afternoon, and beforehand Lily had asked me to give her one hour's notice before I left. I told her it would be about an hour from when she got home from school, but I forgot to give her warning at the actual one-hour mark. When I came up to read and cuddle with the kids 20 minutes before I left, she was angry that I hadn't given her enough notice. Then she went off and did something with paper, which I thought was sulking. I tried to persuade her to come sit on the couch with Anna and me and enjoy the time together, but she wouldn't.

Turns out she was making a picture and had wanted enough notice to finish it before I left. It is of her, Anna, and Jeff "so you won't forget us while you're gone." I assured her I will definitely not forget them, but that this was a very nice thing to be able to bring with me.

[2020-01-13](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3028660663941796/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZVt_vnJHA_gX91n2ip4GF0qb8GudJ4LeXJvg-J-vCQOkezzN2ymaVi6sYcu8SPNWCzkoDJrL0gLnCSHxEgCHWle93GjkQwC1TosABhoyrwXCIq5PU4QaZinymKko8MhFzu-ubNgcFEYTddyKs1u-Olh7vEYbaCqhTT9JGK02OWl_kWS_B81wMiRq7QRxT6x47U&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Anna: "I will buy a baby at the baby store when I am a grownup, and I will be a mama like you! And I will work at Google and have the same job as my dad."

Pretty sure the kids don't think I have a real job. To be fair Google has much better food.

This was the first I had heard of the baby store. We'll see how that pans out for her.

[2020-01-16](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3031622586978937/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZVU8NQPqd7lzWeeQZuvlZ7hHgS9t5UGrDWS5Zl6UKGnCZQojVyCCFu-NS6DV5oyzSEBwZGgyJ8-bEZQJp1b3JMlvrco3nMyO11DOc8wEeTCHyMfNRWDxuGjQH-yOl3y9igxrDTuWpL76CX54eR0utddjJgLQOuwJkLhi8dtpwucUwyUUWa5Xi8J2bj1B0vONAc&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Me: Before you were born we thought about what to name you, and we thought Anna would be a good name. Do you think that's a good name?

Anna: No. I want to be named Bourbon.

[2020-01-16](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3031840336957162/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZWamC8SakjbZAFWlaKJG8tnwg_UhaUf_uz2NAV-FX_9CFdCT2SBph9znyA5JQRPCD7dsuKyhARWqgD_-SfMsuOb_dVCN5mskm4xsKz4aGa2lmf9xk2W1p92FSS9OPSEOEpHM6RoSjXUoenjqfsb1uj3N9djNL4HMB-8l8dgSOAU1U3c0UNTDXkO-WllqbXZgjU&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Anna: We're not going outside when we get Lily.

Me: How are we going to pick up Lily from school without going outside?

Anna: You can order her.

Me: Order her?

Anna: You will order her on your phone.

  
Sorry, Amazon is not yet offering same-day delivery of kindergarteners from school.

[2020-01-19](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3034818916659304/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZWsS4W8jVKB7LefY56YKx38oDfPpTaRDUBp2V5cSjvsaK_ZNrhYHxVemtctVvje6A8PURmSuQl0uZUVYf2X-ki0RGTp-dhmWQXdlofMCR1Am3QQJJ6r1ZZJm66weuUL1VmBA2U5fkJPwZ97wb00nE_9MIhvBUl2X8Fjb0iEyOJjNLGFn-wh6XEHPe6yLLbh9oQ&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Lily backstage watching her dad play BIDA: she grabbed handfuls of the air, saying "I want to put the sound in my pocket."

[2020-01-24](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3038989779575551/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZVe-uE6IrtTx9rOVAarPCD9s9c6E9gzRPqrIRvtF3-P_nMc5IR-nZG799RwrBEhQZV6Oqskhc9HwgBsN6Y_jc_uxHo2xR0D-eTPsRJ6Isrlw9aG80V3d8TyUmTjouMK854WCjzOr5p4MYyyh8w-j__tLQAWMAKH0XgUBQpGbqvFFF0l9Lk8IB-dJDMeOvA_rz0&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Lily: "repeat after me, 'I, Anna, won't do the terrible deed ever again'"

[2020-01-25](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3039710922836770/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZUg6f8id9dTiIheZt07oIsBxjKqbCptPBnbEumSxOTv_qBSRl8v1Zh5sZv65WxRL4Z6qk5XlG5S92jR2tb7dCYKe_E1hH1TSCTthrT0RfkJ7vO2q8qB8VU8ro3mxnClWNtALnE_H4ErTeFeXXsSR2QXvNhtieg7SFgtw3gGIR1xVJj-d8ZxfqmUPeoZYhGhLR4&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

"Papa, I'm sleepy and want to sleep \*now\*. Can you use the potty for me?"

[2020-01-27](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3041392849335244/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZWNAYrKz1SDZPlnoSKG797ZxLTo8HKydBi3vY-0DPw9HWVR2mULlMiUDmWeN9VEttV4fz_k7B4I8SFcEJiF0F2NHdMhdgAnNifkeo4vbRBtNvU2v_T9ArBJ2O5zydkqmX65KbfW-Aa0JZy3rrIXTJpSibV8h7f6wNoNfo8_HGQLHvvfGcBET3G-uaqL9N1ZP7Q&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

I let Anna try chewing gum for the first time. She knew she was supposed to just chew it and not swallow it. Her method was to make tiny dents in it with her teeth and barely put it in her mouth at all.

[2020-01-27](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3041694355971760/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZXI4ukJDr3_dJLMSNp4YImq_vXOzQM0Subp-x1z1Fq5zGJdXNNrVkRJLwo04JviCVv699ETZucSZT_8ikCaxvqjgOiZj7jV38m6Y6cOHizg1zOUCZYWDjz4I9OerfQEJXOVHEDGt7oxzT3OHKwpOQJvGJwFZ5xgxoXClqjS3JiZRNbilq_gUrwUpiFfFWrKxvU&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

I'd been meaning to try the marshmallow test on the kids for a while, but today Lily described it at dinner. ("From my science podcast, of course.")

Lily's past the age of the children in the original studies, but Anna's well within the range. They both happily played for 15 minutes, didn't eat the candy, and got more candy at the end. Unanticipated bonus for the researcher: 15 minutes of the children playing quietly in separate rooms.

[2020-01-27](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3041696135971582/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZVTgGsCd2_Xa7197S61_LiwbB5ViET8jPQ-PdZFciQmtQBS0Uy8d0NdYVU8gvQemxfyPzvM0bbVR05I3PofV14tgWv7aLQ9PbKVJ6Um25aCmbvab6Vg2rx-GRKzD-wTyE9hoA7zupdul8JbdpqFq_b04eW6ckWHHTkgSl7HjLmbtbZYNwyO69w6LY8ASqi0INE&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Lily requesting a bedtime song: I want a song about a leprechaun and a dog, and the leprechaun asks the dog to help get a pot of gold, but the dog tricks the leprechaun and runs away with the pot of gold.

Me: That's too complicated for me. It's after bedtime.

Lily: The leprechaun and the dog just get the pot of gold, and the dog takes it.

Me: \[singing\] Once there was a leprechaun and her name was Eliza....

Lily: NO THE LEPRECHAUN'S NAME IS MCKENZIE

[2020-01-28](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3042388499235679/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZUiokSa7Oq_JyGJLDqRVn34alZA_SvWjEBp_kPlVhlevHoPo_aRMoHAehuUk3ajkYtQxBf2egnTGkX9uU9ASUxCLOeXWpRQ8c2CziBpEHVdBXC6ZJtcD4bqOhb77n98XAoLfGF8_kiLSQBYiJtgnq8XCZEWQEQL1vD0_Ld9JKYANJp9UI1k66uqQGynVPJFZ1s&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Lily, wiggling her doll around: "Blip blip blip blip blip. My baby is writing on her baby blog. She has an invisible computer."

Me: What does Baby blog about?

Lily:"Mostly about her day with Ms. Dolphin who's her babysitter while I'm at school."

[2020-01-29](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3043015369172992/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZV7ynyejmOGgoFdLtYPcmV3fbBH3aEpaIUBdo7HlOB2E0zARBUizvHQH6Ycp2yCAPwKmaxQ99ngq4il3SinenZ99qJbMlxcl6vAV-oWHcbwZtX59CU-VuqPu6rBdR8nbOUsFzu8tgJ7mrgJyJq6UGkuF6htRK1LJap67oupwuK2HZNK3K1j8WSMZhvuQq-C7B0&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

During morning toothbrushing: Lily starts to howl, and Anna is seen running from the scene of the crime.

Lily: She shut the door on my foot!!

Me, after finding Anna on the other end of the house: Anna, why do you think Lily is crying?

Anna: ...It's just a secret.

Me: It hurts when you shut the door on someone's foot.

Anna: I didn't do that ...I did something else mean.

[2020-02-01](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3045618458912683/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZU0_5ANh_bxNn4ZZ0y1squYC2YR89VKBrW7ACI8TtZFydMd07N7wF2nW7fNXf3_Pd7siraTn6qdfJLErR9Bctk5zo-cVT2WPYrFV4YuqXGK_jUQl3cbhjDXooME60y7rgWIyaOHEfbU-g5yrwvWtwtfpP1vkWRzJB1pJaPl9TT57vrq_TV94LLfA2JgSCkJj4Q&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Anna, drawing a picture of all of us: "Daddy, your face looks differenter than mine or Lily's or Mama's."

[2020-02-04](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3048419855299210/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZVRVJDabjbsJ_m8blNPQSPUY7mFKaUCKMa9JUDLd_LNMVzOCvmz46Iug7aPa7XsBYs3wvkXZmq5hZWisd8utOP12KTGPBnmBi6lNNrbbDuligs7dsjDO5m9rH0HNBC1hckuvv4uRX_tzl4XFqlqzrip-iOoumn06d8k1nlSr30NVBsOxujkLES7bVoYmrT2RPk&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Anna: Papa, will you brush my teeth?

Me: first you brush your teeth, then I'll brush them

Anna: no, I won't brush my teeth!

Me: \[sternly\] Anna, if you don't brush your teeth, \*I\* will need to brush your teeth

Anna: ok, ok, I will brush my teeth \[brushes teeth\]

[2020-02-09](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3052594914881704/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZWxz8VFzLUNgzL82XM7HZ-5BvxenoT8mw9CQoC8jbnMSgBCrjMV1sEBAaMt4tcznzbj31nAfw7zGnb-AJYwJ2nuxSe44HWvbhxwKVzOkQ75KoLzU31cuCv7XCBIjQcJhkU_Q9_s26elg6lBQJOpvlDvZm6OkfcqJM_z2QKK2yx-uyGJ4nheMY0R4eUAlR0t9Ks&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Today's episode of pretend play has included:

*   Lily somehow becoming pregnant and having a baby ("I see a foot - time to push!")
*   Lily explaining their family origin to Anna: "Let me tell you about our parents who died. They didn't love you as much as much as me. They didn't love you at all, and they threw you out a window and you were raised as an orphan."
*   A lot of fishing for pretend salmon and roasting them

[2020-02-10](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3053499804791215/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZU0f6nY53mThBon-BS7f7xuio_wuz__8KmJ9CzvjDxq3idQmA5y3IGEVWj3UNRkHriWxHZmjp2gyFtqqVlSG88pYloySzGtIymaOoUKjKYGc4f2pBI0SldXwyohr3doEDQYqxCzzlyhp_5xROW8aOA8ryEYPMtsNJG213-zBZfExcQ3cX42xVblxFoWanl6dps&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Today's play episode: Lily falls into a "river" and is splashing and drowning on the living room floor. Anna is walking by helpfully carry a coiled rope in a basket, and she throws it to Lily and rescues her. After Lily is rescued and they've had a picnic, Lily makes her move:

Lily: I would be up for marrying you.

(Anna is busy with the rope)

Lily: I would like to marry you, you beautiful man.

Anna: I'm a woman.

Lily: Want to be teammates? Want to be soulmates?

Anna: No, I'm going to be a mommy. I need a daddy.

Lily: I'll marry you.

Anna: Ok!

[2020-02-13](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3056284174512778/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZXVjMJMlT2Hn-QpEak2UxSsjg3KbdWYXqbANJJ1QaGipaDWfeQ-7-T5gzS9Pb9DNaZVrPtqDBIe5U9WumDyO2jTJZiae8CpVFaPMolTl75d1cbKvV1m3LjqiQNr2KTh5f6rvzGaAo7vLn0pQhx7DvkslMkj3iltgIuk0fHIDxKCAuDMW8JlOGEWhaFKwkCYeKI&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

There's a weird nostalgia in watching your child cut up the pajamas that you brought in your hospital bag when she was born. (They were in the ragbag, so fair game for cutting.) She especially liked cutting off the buttons.

[2020-02-18](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3060502927424236/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZVi97tDmu3JO1Wr_9gJW4oqjf7GJ0FarIjXz68adLHnw40v9Iay9U8JreJbigbxlTcIQptmiHt1n6h1Wwjp8HVQxy3ZssyDSgRqnqZaE0OKYDfo1jxGsmt2CKyOc2B6CZJUhv7QWXhfQAP26liOepTX59wky4gERNn5FAD282E-G59qSVF87Tw_K53K5a8U-e8&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Anna: I have a hat!

Anna: No! I have a hood!

Anna: Hat!

Anna: Hood!

Anna: Hat!

Anna: Hood!

...

Anna: Hat!

Anna: Hood!

Anna: who do you think I'm arguing with?

Me: Yourself?

Anna: Yes!

Anna: No!

Anna: Yes!

Anna: No!

[2020-02-24](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3065365173604678/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZWeYQTlN-QEgqA5XUs39-kIjNI3_6-q4O2jYu2P8pwA3rnI8uW7ooF2UNPCVP7J3aVwwCM57Kir0_M0ok2VtIUs4NXcVNHFnYRr7z4jfdfbcfz_iVTO1HOlK9mG8Sba0P_nOmAxXyII6LPqrsCz7WbhiIAHdkYbEIW64jJi1_bIHmpaA9BWQQh2ph8-hvt7i2I&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

"I want rice crispies with milk. I want milk in the bowl, and rice crispies in the milk"

Anna has had some practice asking me for things

[2020-03-03](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3072754429532419/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZXKe4Rh2Kx91n5Jh4U4pAwaJJagUuRxJb51TjchugYy9eT6t5ZllYWqPVCsA9tclhWKK_mtIeEKcpTeKwKycQUjDtoAGsCa2J5EE9e1iTYgaQpWOIXoCqLvXwVLwh1eEjWzJyavZcfDOie04dQgBKrmH49PafccabqbZgnamJTbVeWX-gOv3Dk24kgxghd-dyM&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Me: who's the other kid over there?

Lily: she got half of the M&Ms since it was her dad that paid

[2020-03-10](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3078988762242319/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZVNfPQw5fIW2S7jmQ75-t1qFVAOdUtzR7xSf-5IV0_rkLbjlmotrT1uXczYqknnUos4_e5nVnTd2PHvEe9Vwuhjyl90ghB1MT6QZJaF_XUjOvTIicZ6sn2Bi-oyvH52bhkaWjs4pVgtyQ8ePG_bXm20gRqg-IntrqFj34OuJ425P2m1Ry1_MuqOFUa0HsPK5uw&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Anna is trying to get us all to switch to calling it "hanitizer"

[2020-03-12](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3080946442046551/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZWmu1f4g0nR2YveSKRpYI9-_5blZjwFzVhJSbUtdJlhQS-gq2LoBzOEDjulaUIHiHScEzlWbYNSJVy8wy8B-9tJ5x1n9aQtk2eciCFc6tNLEc9rxuryXdzKKcAqJN-pTVzQcoBR92tAE8ZM4w5Y5bZYdhIoP81F-f4btcwnTzBv2x8AWW8Qw0lKubbeNnjzjmg&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Lily decided that tonight was when she wanted to thank Santa for the presents in December (despite our family having no pretense at Santa bringing the presents.) She left this cookie out for him, in a zip-loc, refusing the plate I suggested ("ants will get it because it will be out at night!") and instructing me: "After I go to bed, eat the cookie and leave a letter that says "Thank you for the cookie, I appreciate it. From Santa."

I have now done this, except I put the cookie back in the package.

...

This morning she delightedly found my letter, said "Thank you, mom" and thankfully wasn't mad when she asked what I had done with the cookie and I told her I hadn't eaten it.

[2020-03-15](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3083026705171858/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZV9PZd2lUBtrxXcQm3QFhRfiDmDHtly19v3apy3owoB219kxs9oUHpn6L3X9uke4eDwhP0RicDHuHtLAxy1raUYyCxTSgQT89WfON8k_73cs4mC3-aqb4h-yV18kjyeOzCogtchhZ9-5JCHYGMWnz3Jzkfhd5PzRSVQ1S4OUD8ANBO2jYGElSuJg5YOVYd1auk&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Looking at pictures with Anna: "Look! That's me back when I was younger!"

[2020-03-15](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3083223335152195/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZXtieOQsY0qteMR2DYeagiMx4-nIbVZMWc0IMHdFExCefPqZE763-91MkC_WNZx-1iJhufPqAyRjLYa73M77Qg96xQlhsP6oqQtVEhj32Kai_vga6HmKdFa9Gid4OwUVcuQHX5xJnnhGiqg9x4UmyFGreRjHZ64rk9NW8pDRal5SXQz80gfl7EpVKmEjFPGw7s&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

(After a long silence at lunchtime)

Anna: "Mom, what IS air?"

[2020-03-15](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3083489675125561/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZWVkUNvmiBNb_3sSY5FoGG62bRVHrCmWWvzSTsn0goaSLiPNOdBJqnM3sVFqv2WZLm-1CND8vQLhI2BIvlLl5BSYFq7eNqgLNGK6mJDbelqdFEW--z-2a6n4tKp1td6pBO7xQJfNEAMmT7u8EwBbhnuymY7NiTgOZE-KXvrj7wqh0lbkPjVRe9uqR3vJkDV-kI&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

At Anna's age I told my preschool teacher that I wasn't going to eat cucumber ever again, and I haven't.

Today Anna told me that she's never going to eat any food ever again.

Uh oh.

[2020-03-17](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3085325668275295/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZW7-cao_sym0BcAjc5kS9-53_ehnHFFzdjG8_wn0vPv5IxJM551rYx9EvMo4HdmvJsYf_3NFPoARyV95mv2FHdNY3-NW9YBmN-v6ct8BqKMRPI7Bq2o0OYbRTCfK6oyInSuX3DFHAOExQP30Hssr5srV3UtfxnYMeMqtixRMarkreTNRnGIEDV3kPNC63tab7g&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Anna: "I want to be a vampire."

It turns out she meant that she wanted me to unbuckle her helmet because she and Lily were playing vampires and "vampires don't wear helmets."

[2020-03-18](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3086373574837171/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZUQeKkl9QO2WU-RIBes0xPBPGBUN9VdAXaH5b1cpmhbybdUPYOu1jSGWkgqi085kfgtigKTJqrnZ0lOKPHDxxKzggBaQdai3By4k2aKXU0w4FZwNnFP6QWjwNvz71iMupwVMynOLN9HCV_3qJheRZAekWUZ3SneV89UpLv9yXGgWbQpes5jf-dGp23Zg7wbWlg&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

When Lily was ~two she couldn't get comfortable at bedtime. She kept complaining that her bed was too lumpy. I came in to settle her, and it turned out she had an acorn in her pocket.

The story came up at dinner tonight, and when I went to bed I found a little lump in the pocket of my pajamas: \[acorn\]

...

When I brought it up with Lily this morning she was super smiley

[2020-03-22](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3089934827814379/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZUsMUk1v6wZ2SNSKdY9ZMIAq0hGiz0SsHxP8MZe98qVGZRhyVx-DFX5JbZoluBdp_2QtHzTgAketF6k0UCLbyMXYNNh5lh_XFe4E_94SWyGZnxu7U-3zf2dpD33r8i623kVDd24gvjIPTRPAnodZ8UAjlW04bTDKtDupSRVJjrhNxrsHVVOYzxd30iyZCXdfCg&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Lily: "Anna, I'll give you a choice: I can either pinch you, or I can steal toys from you"

Anna: "I guess... If I haveta... Steal my toys?"

[2020-03-27](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3094550500686145/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZUePdpTV4V6muwDX_DaB7DdZgBx276BSjwpk4RaGISRjS3velkbM2LWY7Ok5wIsL1GWK4yHZLmvX_TIxYijz0KDBu8ga1C_5_zbGuXvQty5ZfhBTAaRLzHc7VN7ia7hNnHl-MTw7ZMQVBtBh3b09bnCZA8B-0xKhfhnqD4MLH6FcnwRIK1jBFnnIY5pui_UZME&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

The kids are playing a baby game with fake crying. Lily has done something to get Anna mad enough that she's really crying, but she hasn't stopped fake crying so now she's real-crying through her fake cries.

[2020-03-30](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3097654287042433/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZWuctKPz_MCLEsTpST3qOY59ofmYHRC0UL6a8I38-Y5lkdFJrxhJlnQI_oK1Du8oPoHb6JLZKAPSJuCJN6fWwSMbRjB5VrSAcAFhucCMHmRtXXhCDin25GosJ1N6yJSLx_fpfVsCfbDWzDzIoxk9AcU3qgaCljq7Pp9qbQlanyw_d3CEXXGzRVeiufQGr7nZIQ&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

I just did the annual explanation that no, even though your great-grandparents were Jewish, Irv and Gloria did not personally escape from Egypt. Three thousand years is just not a timescale four-year-olds are equipped to think about.

...

Yesterday she told Erika she was sad. When Erika asked why, she said it was because of the plagues and how there are no people in Egypt anymore. Looks like we have some more clarification to do...

[2020-04-01](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3099486113525917/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZW-HXj6G8E-_0FBSsReb0uQgBdLID8E8ezsuDwwuxenVBoLxIZAihxvmp_4Xu1ObD6PzRNILTGI-tQhLsT51EUAl3I31gAw8s5xYZfPF_Mlv_NnXOEqge64YPKcqw8bJiUsFLCPKg8kpo1Wz0QlHNFDVqKub3d8weBvu64SajFl2A-khAyoUntu0Fd1BSeLEWw&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Lily: "hey Ruthie, is there anything you need glued forever?"

[2020-04-01](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3099521846855677/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZVapIeBUdQZOsHn5O9b5UGFv37y9X78NudO7IQlLiH73z16xx1MT325sUVd2SFuFAx22zoFIhvsdL5ZGPtD5jS27zrZvGGvuPrtGn6KpXFlBwx6nTk7GXNJuvOMX1JfuCk92FDlw0oT7RLw3fznTLVtT1dUwE8fjdn7-6w-gDvtXMEPUy1yCXj153AqFGAxbAc&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Why does Anna have Lily's dollar? "It's because I'm a magic chicken and we take people's money."

[2020-04-10](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3107474909393704/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZXtbIQWdNEAFZrKziZqKsd8LztbSvdJo0aHkyB8SZgLmaV3wdnwlexJ_ARyGwpMHaBRT0qjhr_aZack1BB8SmbIL9M3_DNRIffo5kg6vFGD5FhwXfjjq3EIW-BgkVYs1lXU13TgavnubgxgYhM_ROhR17IdwEM2NsW9tx1Kz0e4f_9jAUbOXXgUvmO-KrO8mcY&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

"Six are the days of creation,  
Five are the books of the tourists"

[2020-04-12](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3109213019219893/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZX_SkV8ym1Ix2npPLFmN2eRgf6LxPM9G7IUeO-my-M5P8igEdClaOcrTyuHPVjNDnjSeqxFDcNmfnq7qOS93zReerVvPNCX5NFL2YLay61fTw1YYNEH_zgbozgKORyTHz56n3z6Fgyd3CCz8mGFpjLvaXSQE1kpvLsEXxEF9ZDUI8_8BdkE-q9hAgcHlLFAswM&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Lily and Anna are playing Rapunzel. Lily, in the role of the imprisoning witch, has just promised to throw Anna "in a lake of lice, bears, tigers, and ticks" if she leaves the tower.

...I think a mashup of the 10 plagues and The Wizard of Oz, which we just watched.

[2020-04-13](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3110145965793265/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZXc0tbmFgrC4dC4u3ZcnJEpv2YVCkfxeoxAoVs8i29MkSFGhVLp86tTWIxJtMNMvts1rWf2MCECFDxFkWV6utYjokBWkaruuhQJqppTd-8Yny0g2mvLmihmb8-XDF62rLgpzAMViJG4AVjIxAa-TrG0PaEY0b1CaG4EYyOIpWt8GcZ7L1HR4J1Fq6dyKIIS3dY&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Anna has started to respond to most things I say with "Is that a joke?"

[2020-04-15](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3111893625618499/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZWfNidFPoi2224iUc0UobhdjBAfqTKapA_GQTyjaJUsM14GOTQsAzYk81aUWICjIIuE-I3dKBLerxRPcr_BQKp5upyI47NJftNRW8D2jKeSxmUomepkkiDtuxYG8JNujQmkhRyz3Md5d2VT9SiUo0Ayv5AXS0T2oImUzCTyyJiBQuZXEVEDvGnJ2pnBXGjS3Ew&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Me: What should we do that's fun?

Anna: We could stick things to our legs!

[2020-04-16](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3112453798895815/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZXyVJMI_65YOi_9975cPRN54PZK2_Zb7XBURLGBTvf3KejqU1PqnxUT5VVViWcWYMqEvnX3gMUV_QV2I6esGhb71rJu0o9gu1JbuO3O23OnkVdxeWjkARv2NpOLS9Gb7HjVcCzQzyj6zxI4EKUJ2vuhX7qELfu7idKn1uhB2RalShZgIkJwQgJoa00pxcCUaxo&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Lily: "It's hard to say. I'm really sad. I don't know the words. I guess I'll just sing it out: \[sings a story about why she's sad\] Now do you see why it makes me so sad?"

Anna: now I'm going to sing a story about Elsa and Anna!

[2020-04-16](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3112769355530926/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZXA2_cFFEV8OXCAi9ZR3JfovGZJaj6iRicehcmNaV2eFdlP8uMP42vk7j14A1h7ZqkxQK5FB3lnahwg619fEvQKfB7nyyPMt-42d9SFMHig-gO7mNi3o1Wyjgj5FRqRNknElCCecfrj7zHdxXMrva6GqH5ErSKjp68GC4JEYuEVEsfgwv0jvMWHfyclJAAdPhI&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Anna, alone in the hallway: "Anna, stop talking to yourself."

[2020-04-18](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3114790905328771/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZUV3Fs_FPmYROWUPnfPkTcjr-74rC1_FmbmFgWfE7LtNTLIKEQX3BUdRkQ5EsNOqHIdt23VFlgacZ7ZMhExX57IpVrYU4G-i6I_VsxPSxdAAoE9KVQUBLQPWPzd_Qlv8hwDO5xT6sUjhaM1MQSGVYMqCM4qgHfnzMd7x1RmC2L-uf7ap4luAVDJ8vhEBvs7ddo&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Anna: "I have magic powers that mean I don't have to go to time out any more. I only have to do it once a week!"

Lily: "This must be your weekly time then"

Anna: "No! I'll do my powers!" \[Stares at me intently\]

[2020-04-25](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3120838974723964/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZWStQVC80s1NZVpaOBCidzJJNmUTGqReioAH8P9PHCgzez8wECxvB4VBqIzSNoKbhbKha7Zy-JIs1oxKCxXL1pu5Yo3KxvWq0AjlulM1pjp72UdsHm3OovLsmNBn535qmRBjdmjyzy2NRHNi2nWUIDFyQvwVbXYVWMxO-F9HV1irOMuqRJBhNR65k_p15wkJ7E&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Me, my fourth time of telling the kids to get ready for nap: It's time to get ready for nap. Go find a bathroom to use.

Lily: Wait, Mom! Me and Anna have something to say.

Me: Okay?

Lily: (singing) We have different preferences!

[2020-04-25](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3121029211371607/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZWwr-mLukSge2f1049GcR9nZrMbV3I-jvcHbpkdX_TT6rviahblGo5dXn2xjUc6QLRJL4Zj6Q85oAZFZPYGiNkSymOgZK9lvXZg9Noo4BT40JpcUYznNK9AJ0Tplb19C9nejBaWi4bSptlqnx--P63xJ7JYt7cuAecqOKVkXvYBK3vq4-pZWfFGPgljCKzeGI4&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Lily: "You might think princesses just get to laugh and play all the time. But that's wrong. Power princesses have responsibilities. Evil has struck again. Pack what you need for a few days. Bring food and water."

[2020-04-26](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3121702761304252/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZVmXCmfo-OLIpS0vwUw6n1kR6yAZez7wb1EYpi4qFfHLWXjQuZ9e4IzUCZ2Am2SZB5k2eVZfCuUuePhsBTzxgJRNj1q164aKDxqkgdWhEOZwJ2kypDBnHE9e8j90nK3rn0ZfWpIOl6LmdzmU9oixAnUwS_FZ0fjSF6I_de12CuTVD-yDxbboBuC1YuME-P450g&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Today's naptime delay tactic involved these deep questions from Anna:

"What did they do to fix you after parts came off of you and Papa?" (this turned out to be because she knows making a baby involves part of a mama's body and part of a papa's body, but didn't realize it's not an amputation)

"What will be here after we are here?....I think maybe more dinosaurs?" and

"Does God really exist?"

[2020-05-01](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3126360667505128/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZVuHYyY7FfqacOc2tmpWYosZ1w9_oUfg-tYH5I6neI87IEgrQH7MakKTUH8BtFio5FXDVPQls-ySrt-Fvq3XQg4csLh4AA2YDDkUv2bKHmeRkhEeFmNinlDWTaaQPUcVRW7GRQOn5NGXZGLAXcKc9_rqmLntWlieUrCKLNL2c0pPkQg4LjBTEsSd_xbJs2vBgc&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Lily: "I am doing the most mud, I am taking this seriously!"

I never knew anyone to be so Type A about mud

[2020-05-02](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3126829797458215/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZU7vYvSnmf8ez0uQjmu_M1DurmCPhpPWNn0_A4eMDyhAy5L9HdzVU5ryYvoqE4hacIEwfKSKQTk5NuBsE1ieSqXwdfjTXGtsNvZ92OwPKwi0bCfQN1PUOCtgzD4fAvEjnhH2H_UEYIm0FsFDbpvvkxqASHidY4_6l5WbpytLe-CVsZrXw3W1FRHt0sBgIXZPzY&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Me: if you got up from the table, and then half the other people got up, how many people would still be at the table?

Lily: I think someone might need to be cut in half, and I don't suggest doing that. Because if you cut someone \*all\* the way in half they would probably die.

Anna: you're only allowed to cut someone in half if you're a doctor and they're having a baby and the baby is stuck.

Lily: please don't talk about cutting people open because it's making me start to cry.

Anna: can we talk about chocolate? Because that would make you hungry!

[2020-05-02](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3127006367440558/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZVwqjccIWTW46c3YX_sNTHbi2A-35Ks3NhtK9W8aQGfTw1HJarCrpZ0dVLRuuEsqKWq0_FFADTNpoKkFgcG9dRBx4iG5LzOcdw78WYVIPZA_ENICtrIj4_bWuw28dkhCEmliIbq2gmwUo-DN4HIz3xqBdMMY3ekBbMpXRvF_pjLis0tEAsTGeZ6dyoDl823b6I&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Anna: It's warm when Betsy touches me with her tail. It feels like drinking hot chocolate. And I really like the taste of hot chocolate.

[2020-05-03](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3127875644020297/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZVzHCt5RzHS1_ZGKK0-BR4jsc9v_dcVTSyZt7lZcQE7x85cgwV388ocnS4QH4rLFLDYauUjx7Y8cHpAurZeKyP4LFv3gnIy5JUnZwiD0fHL_zmyfKNOKi_WEs9SK24_Jz8YxaRxSwCC-rW41KL3G0P2AVVuvAk_nmidtZuHywllJFBvgCjt06NgVt8qLtuV0UM&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Anna, yesterday: "If I get married, one of the eggs inside me could turn into a curled-up baby and then it will come out and I will be a mama."

Anna, at breakfast: "Mama, you wanted to have a baby and you and papa got close and you stood still and the thing happened so after a few days, an egg turned into a curled-up baby in your belly, and when the baby came out it was Lily."

We've told her some parts of how this works, and obviously she's a little mistaken about some of the details, but I'm surprised at how accurately she's pieced it together. She also appalled Lily by telling her how a baby comes out. Maybe the Hemingway side of the family with its interest in midwifery is coming out.

[2020-05-13](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3137244836416711/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZVyAMA6yJL9u8MVslp1ZcCrRj6o7RV5DLQqUGxmp3HExO84fLBC5LDUB0mv74L-Yhw0EkCYFIT9fzmklotxhKgSlIdoUIpJb58jGD2Mbu0r4tyFFDRIziA7kWUhu6CfJOwM1qPCHToxaQghrJIa_yO6UEB864uynHJjkmSlCLa7KJ7NdEPjcp8KxAc8WEgOlqo&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Sometimes Lily calls me "Jeffo", and then I'll call her "[Lilo](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LILO_(bootloader))". But when I call Anna "[Grub](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/GNU_GRUB)" she doesn't appreciate it.

[2020-05-16](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3139851802822681/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZWqCFfX52UDj-iB7vK9AvhSai2G1dpTX4nhJHe9JzAhcJrGLgXXgyjdaV3J48nUUiuRGs1gZ_bGsT5s_tur3V5qHgSh2mc9CZH7n_qi_84rjBUb-lroz4KS5l8nwoiIvgHDCj4-FPVAdnzQmzTN12i4jJ9vJbJhnlL1OO0iBOncSs5KaJxnwU1AY4iqDvdnD0k&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Lily, at bedtime, "Before bed I want to pray. How do you pray to God?" We discussed just saying what's on your mind, or reciting a pre-written prayer. She wanted to do the second, so I taught her "Father we thank thee for the night" which I used to recite at bedtime as a child. She was not interested in doing this from bed, insisting on getting up and kneeling with clasped hands.

Then she explained, "I believe in everything about God. It's different when you pray to Zeus or to Aphrodite. For Zeus you do like this" \[kneels and clasps hands\] "and for Aphrodite it's more like this" \[stands up in bed and bows.\]

Jeff came in to say goodnight. "I was just praying to Zeus," she explained.

[2020-05-17](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3140785289395999/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZVGYrbDEHC5n_yhwkQdvVRK_Xo9erHqVNxiq-wEhMYJsbEgrg0wFU_3PCJTBxRVGAOGcOQmPrH4mmAxay0yMPbhU0qEhGjAQD7n9MO4MvzLbT3pW1WQ4pwUO4trrMl-8syRr8yxdY9YeVZ_-yQZlWcLnkKmfGM5DCZ7ZiYoT17dxmQAYmlLMTBbYhpoSFYcAQI&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Lily leads Anna in to the room, with Anna pretending to be a pigeon.

Lily: I found this pigeon. Can I keep her?

Me: Sure, I guess.

Lily: I even got her a wildlife tiara.

Me: What's a wildlife tiara?

Lily: Well, you know we all have tiaras. This is a tiara for wildlife. Like pigeons.

Anna: Coo, coo!

[2020-05-25](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3147441382063723/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZUKJMmx4mT5imazTBXBqwfPn0P29z07q-srIvSruo0dCFTtpZ3s4vv_N2Ovkr-Y_189wLJO2PzClDCpSO2SBSx9mfwZrnaJ2DyPBKeadaEyg1ExkZ43bfOTBwZ3A554XYmxdh95FxHOilpC21pQ4R8KpBLFyCAI_kgD2Jb2zyMIbEgkMNze5SacGvXCKxKhx-g&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Lily: "I'm not going to be your sister anymore if you don't pretend you like my hair"

[2020-05-30](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3152231991584662/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZUJTtS6dqr5q-0YnIZbYYgiNgWobo1v6_qWS-CbZ-Gm_LD0DL7cnKGv7AmW_HRsWy_2njE-ffRbTf96DojE_pEu9x_ReYRI0Vkj1rRyhg5Fk9_KfUcHB4M1pa1ap6aIaciSaKDq7ziBcA2U4bJwPhfByA-uEqfq2CFGjfdRULhW78H4FoCmeFUme9u3SjKdJ8Q&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Anna has started introducing her "facts" with "I read a book that said..." as in tonight's "I read a book that said danger moles get on you when they're angry, and if you talk they get scared and hide in your belly button."

I don't know what danger moles are, but I hope they don't get angry.

[2020-06-07](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3159829130824948/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZU-7X-AJwZhihyAS9LVqnRIOVP-yoirnPdIwYM5CVl6DRAnBPQJasB4yj3ojfcfRovxJpdgBk_bdz2wmZAdLpEeGMJAi3CHN6KaCYKrgF2AAM4U1uWtYAF4mz_HOwCMc86zxFnRSJsqywKxWF5IMLqw83HUuM0vtiKlHmggYvdByLa7Con1IrlLdLKuPbAEnZU&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

This morning at breakfast Lily informed me that she had been praying to the sun god for the end of coronavirus, and that the string apparatus in her room holding up her toy giraffe wearing pajamas was part of this effort (because you wear pajamas when you wake up, as the sun is rising). "I did it today because it's SUNday, get it?"

I was definitely at least 12 before my friends and I invented a religion.

[2020-06-14](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3166394853501709/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZVbiCi0ON7Ur_2v7JLtxtUQjF_UEHQmgpqvq7_u7hVMuelegsCplvu-FWOyExD0MQIkEtaCy7q0GXeccgRhBGNK0kVuW_Ksk14np17HQoojMqfAyOG1MsiNCkehNukOSMBAB_gkLsPsHPltTQ-d6lJe6JycF0kg722DnsUnJsfyGVUw1YoI9K46sODmlJAfQVk&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Anna: I found a rainbrella tree, and I picked a rainbrella to keep my daughter from getting sunburned.

Lily: did you pick a ripe unbrella?

Anna: \[as if it's obvious\] yeah

[2020-06-20](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3172273789580482/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZUO0cc7WM5hCaslynA9zRAF4a1NkkNr3953L3YPpkLImKNBmWQ90hVcCb_8WNCIxfs64_bCztV2_mBNdO3H7qds8_k43twVTQKLKMPUkRQXi5zmdZOhEKN5qE87VO36u9orEpkEDRws0ECC0LOrrlJDXfEicxE9SEP2J2f52-h99DgMWI7sXIAZPa1VSZ8DRkw&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Nothing puts one at ease like "I want to put on my own toothpaste. Don't look at how much I'm putting on."

[2020-06-25](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3176587839149077/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZUMtnDMXd8zml711cLK0Kvp8EMl0t0fXRTpLb7RTNg8trfKIhAbMRG3Azqnur7XBglW4naMmtpTrpcuUdZ2pIjWGqeczN6eeZ6ex7z_6crdyFfO9F9r5PU6TMilomhHTaeMim1sldaLdxNOCaKG9rVq_1ydtd-v4vgYGtZbaowONLzry8PAAIZerfGqdpYTaF0&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

My favorite Lily joke recently:

Q: Why didn't Fred eat the stick? Fred is a dog with a tongue made of lava that never stops growing.

A: Because he already ate it!

[2020-06-26](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3177493492391845/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZXAQ8vUpniOJblQmyB6p7O4DQMkKekgn8QJD1Cpw0Cjf9go5T4DCsJyQZJR6DIwdpT91yAIAXSTPjsmyeq_668PbcsLUEYHfFVZhnZKVgCnB98ExwmyH7XydaXAfK0E_XNgSUxxTsI66bdSJYcXs4u4JWtMSfJtzHKtgYqXqIQ1rKmGwl_j8xK2NkDfloF7GFk&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Lily approached me as I was reading.

Lily: Excuse me, miss farmer, I know this is strange, but I'm the queen's horse. I'm here to bring you to the palace. The queen wants you to be the new princess.

Anna: No, the queen.

Lily: Princess.

Anna: Queen!

Lily: Princess or nothing.

Anna: \[stamping foot\] Queen!!

Lily: Ok, fine, queen. Let's go to the palace.

Usually Lily is better at negotiation than this.

[2020-06-27](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3178993365575191/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZU2xSnCNGg3UTtOt3X3VQYDR3rBxYZZtfC0gja-MGF1yti0vPYBfmho3-kmDWpfbOSofF1eOiymtJKfxTLwUtxwA6sZCDBYDmmFPmDJ8zACa2HRfiVnBPsaMA6gBu3-A3YyolZGKmsUYVJeR1QFkOcPecRBzLjRvPKQyfRP6FwQihbVONNYV7Hd_uNjH_6u9_Q&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Lily: "luckily for me I have \*at least\* ten years before I die"

[2020-06-30](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3181825178625343/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZVYXSZQOQ-zVcuaY7wWP0epYldW89PBEWEF6WQQGW_5tGs09GzsFVqSgSJRqx4SNvdEmi-X-FHmVx2PBTNE6Edh3NTpk4ER6Ip46YAfW5f662AOjRpClvt5sh3yq6I_-k3rugrsEJtq42pp5vhNnLU2zgLdY4TPzAmaa31eIHYx2WCtT3OdA1PpkrVVjF1r8l0&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

We've been playing a lot of "One Night Ultimate Werewolf," which involves trying to trick each other. Usually the kids are pretty good at not letting on when they have the werewolf card, but tonight Lily's developed a habit of howling that gives her away.

Today she began biting people, which was even more of a giveaway

[2020-07-01](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3182260835248444/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZXDFEPdJyvm_dCBd3OGWgABcK45nUZ-0X8HFLh9hw8LB9C-sr-tkA-uCv3VzLjmZYx_bz_sW31KL_Uv0sKeJR3sNXDGlYbN38z0ExpxkESCCoMta9Kqgfzm5rzD9LQGjp7oY1IECYspf-ji-bbFESqEjyDNj-lWYZDL6RXzJRgkI1LxlBNkmoydDQtYNdIPWiY&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Jeff: "Anna, the last time you had your bran flakes and milk separately you didn't eat very much. How sure are you that that's how you want them?"

Anna: "20% sure"

Jeff: "That's not very much!"

Anna: "60% sure!"

[2020-07-05](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3186048744869653/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZUcQ-7CLbjlopNbHc1JiTj7sEQMv8Zj6lRPSIKr5tSjt95clupZ71qNlhRx85RD9agb46REviqVmBji8XinRlIJlfO-LwEcrV-9WfiAUFZO9yHgzeysUL90Et0TJ6hRGjDB7IE7YMoxnZxSDXoCFBa8ifuyn1p6cwRC5EFN_EWSuqk3SnCFkR1h0137PdzJTsE&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Anna has Jeff's mandolin tuner. "I only use my cell phone for calling people, or writing things, or sending Polagrams. Polagrams are when you call people you don't know. You don't know whose kid they are or whose mama or papa they are."

Jeff: "They're called "polargrams" because you're cold calling"

[2020-07-11](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3191936787614182/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZWgacGf11SYQQGSqWmvvhUemykmNg06poI77h3u5MdN6B26r6TEbXJZ_zFpQzUVB979Xk_boeg1iDCAuRXiK1Kc66PBlXw9dxpb_6rFq9tJ-iHCQBJnZghGzC254I4vqCyRZlMeSPOtPxLm05Rc4_FHlaxNTj6DYd0eQpEiVQLut6x4dIYKOSHVVbrTBV0PkC0&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Anna: "I say prayers because I think when Jesus was a kid they celebrated Chanukah."

Well, yes, but...

[2020-07-13](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3193694190771775/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZVThZBflT5CB2IA3x8tdEUA80yUTAoNKQJAjuiug_dzoe1gYjMdlkNYZk6PY3qrGEJbmVZciAP8ixdIoGfuBr8N2Ot-6MucEmLlWqQw6Scyuv1BbGuSABGGdy9s1PGQEwfUmOu2TMXfUh6arYTq9SNfN8fl0AkOiD9RMnWlG8lH7UIB1rOFIzOKNy5SLJiEUOc&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Lily, dictating into this text box: "So, the thing is, today I was like, my calzone has too much cheese can I please have some pure mozzarella?"

(She did in fact tell me she didn't want her slice of calzone and wanted mozzarella instead, and, when I asked why she didn't want her calzone, she said it was too cheesy)

[2020-07-17](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3197441193730408/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZUoA0FXYuCnqav3ru3qEX_ItWpCb-aKe6vFi4PyLqTEBRZjl8b-Cn1tcXoZQ2BwU2HtoqVbWtc-_pXUbfT0bmzAyfzkemoEAHBqMJglR9kDH6gmQ1C9lQS92wI5OcL8ilq8Dp2r-o7hrcTkoP9z6PpnuV28fgxfQAYfVC6NKguuuyYB-KzfgFozo9Dy8WS4dls&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Lily is lying on the sofa claiming to be Jeff.

Anna is arguing against her. "No, there's things different! Your nose is smaller than my Papa's."

[2020-07-23](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3202816006526260/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZW-lGZZwccUbizjPdtX6-b2dgRU5Nc5dBC65ECA0RgGqZhoXyn-Ti3szYU52eISTtNeMY-RpMiyYLerY3hEvAtADb6SrUiMxJBjUt0chYEJzqMTigtpKcB2RwGDLKeM9vd9wRNTCytsttDd1mn4rjtO_iDgC1Wlv7hsgz0kG1o6niCURwjNDlmivqLV2OUr6Xs&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Anna: You have two sets of eyes.

Me: Like two eyes? Or like four eyes, two sets of two?

Anna: Four eyes.

Me: I only see two eyes on each of us. Where are the others?

Anna: They hide when you're awake. They go somewhere else in your body.

Me: Where?

Anna: Near your hips.

Me: What about when you're not awake?

Anna: Then they get up and put their clothes on and go outside.

[2020-07-25](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3204473319693862/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZX_FrbBybJd4GYfp8ZIATY5gVlbhoHN2Ms2eDlA6xyWvathVfM-PKSCXny5lN9sikFycAxVfnighvwjkjHSKHE5jC0wkHlrciuHcUqJU57RSqnau2wHF3iCK3eiXJFB4sv-PuwiCc3Pvp26wX99ea9rvoI0Ltq9X6g7_t7rkvSSsCmNfJ26PbFP98ha9iV5WP0&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

We were reading a book about space. Lily is worried that Anna will become an astronaut and fall into a black hole or have some other space accident. Lily is trying to get Anna to promise not to become an astronaut, and Anna is refusing to commit to this. I'm trying in vain to point out that we have 21 years until Anna is as old as the youngest person to go to space.

[2020-07-25](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3204844396323421/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZVSKZUwnSkH7UpbI-kQsoygaYMJGZcuqW0eqwvtaX-2jzl2yvim_mhI2x7gwm2UUAEiBPiAJ_UMdDFArakn-uXUIi2rOiXcy_-x7g_j9MSvjal4xRXKJju-ngxLghNFTwhEmOlPzqAPVCnPMWUsI0QWT1QWBCnK2aDytNO08jlc-g7kA0KsL9nvecKD57tItrw&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Anna: Can I have more cherries?

Jeff: No, because we're starting dinner.

Anna: That's just an old way of pronouncing, "You can have more cherries."

[2020-07-25](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3204943706313490/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZUZFMegMqIjsUvLUEbqStO4SHVSOlWTHoqWb4tBr_BBKwIqrshfhacjzVLyMUuRUBCiBCADp-pxopYHxeyw4v4gFN-4oAXIYWnLqx1sgddzaiDtbe-yAq6t_zOdfA52JaTUJqxPAdTk0CowFGdJjr_RK9xMhnu361xHivjojrcUdp1rMDclNSN8LnCXxFrBGSs&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Lily: "Anna, never eat wax"

Anna: "If I see a wack I'll be careful not to eat it"

[2020-07-28](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3207082129432981/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZXVTrRFb7zDqKjqK7KxreOWZLG0VrjFFwwGplWvQAQDaS66r_0aMrsVEEii0L1PQ31SoH1kpGlQt4JSG7NHPbEN_2Ry9frOfj_ac7K0mjzbGVYLy3lJbB1dEKS48RNv7fvRvBOEMspo_-SoqDU4JuUvf2HAjxbafU4S1r4-HetZSaI8dfM_EqG14QvYKF025ZA&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Lily has been interested in bedtime prayers for a while, and has been saying the vaguely Christian one she asked me to teach her. This week she told me that since she wants to be Christian and Jewish, so she wanted a Jewish prayer as well. I taught her the Shema. When she wanted verification that this was a bedtime prayer, I told her Jewish people traditionally say it when going to bed and when waking up. Now she's upset because she can't remember the Hebrew and she wants to say it in the morning when she wakes up, but nobody is there to recite it with her when she wakes up. Also she wants to read the Bible and do everything it says. I told her I did that when I was 11 and she'd better wait until she can read it herself, because I'm not facilitating that project.

[2020-08-07](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3216950391779488/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZWdSvSopPPjWasUybShHYE0T-5jsbJrcT36q0LEEB-bsrHI7GS26YI0XvaypaTNHUhu6wmLdY_yxIYsQ36h5phgzFPxPLetxQ4qr6-nyo_jGTJimFbHpEn0GS-MeJAELa1dcKDQdBx6Mn8Dp5LHmFhkEO7f4z0FFMcDQzflU6jYcADEm7DMzKnxhMHCrO2ZhYQ&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Anna: "I'm just a normal, everyday kid. Because I'm not royalty. Or a grown-up."

[2020-08-09](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3218520244955836/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZXvV0xqcoOETuafABdLbyvmuKcjzFq393VmMn_5KCIBuCflUXoCXF5NvxKfQ4axghwDjfxMSh3xXDkJ7WlFcndBKyFB4Z-J2bXJcmTqKWWQ5IGPPWwpSls8XkqbD6Kwcg3gsU3H7Cs3W4HAjeX0OhLgieIakuLBrGoh-Dx8__c22LPIEDt4akA5DLhM4FltJQA&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Lily has gotten her baby dressed in fancy clothes. "It's her wedding day."

Me: "She's awfully young to get married."

"She's marrying another baby. . . Baby's actually marrying Lily Bear. He would normally eat any baby he saw, but he's not going to eat her. He only does that when there are a lot of people. For example at Christmas."

[2020-08-11](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3220852238055970/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZUswy1phs5lGdogJSxo2g4D5Et4gRRQi6RqX73EdmXp8jKMvcQ6AeFXWkniZanwir9QNxA2k1tZWjThkzxGzoa9kjg9oYzFVavQpGVgCgsidn8U-RuCgvWHwTh0pVUdJcinxC4gjyWtJ2l_mGmeTnaRjvCFpREJL6KhjuMeprJHT7wc92nkMnf2DhTmlMoqhek&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Anna was supposed to be getting ready for bed but I found her in her room piling up stuffed animals in a basket. "Don't look at me. I definitely don't have a stash of toilet paper."

[2020-08-13](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3222596771214850/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZVPM8trTj6coUdKRYzVuP6Z4gW489mAiDBPGSQGLKHVq7NbduBwOtxovqDEViv5l71mSayhNa5_AN1Lb3lqzmvtlNXCUxNrP4oUF2jtf3UCAg4O4C0TkoAbKQOOHh5RdlOwnzQZ6s_BS_Al9PFlO90u_ukFUfXSse_bz4dmuP0Avf-XtXmqgw9ovIdwxto5o3g&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Anna: I am excited about eating a dead baby lamb

[2020-08-15](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3224508591023668/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZXH9VHORGqOXIRV5Jp_rhBe1mXk3U_Dm3cge33ZUG9IUB3pECD23kiuQeBjp3psrS10uk9htRcEsWj8ZL9g-sLOtxTt-eEfIia4snlqQ8sMOz4yw6tDu_Xc9s4ENNEuO9l2Z3_WkyZ2kCJYwvXEoFBzZ_0H10b_dRJXTfT01w9YJpNriDcviMKfgLtQGQBzQtQ&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Lily heard about the marshmallow test on her podcast, and has started self administering a version with her dessert.

[2020-08-16](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3225267824281078/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZXtw6j7uYCD9ZdrXSGmzU-ovmWIdxdSfynHoPqS5f6WTQ7GpcneBkHJcwAydMNedMMN7h5JrT-nuO4KyiPvDYLKohpCbgGKI8KFzWbYu9jz4eeP-rQ_hPxXB721TU49HSOn-LnDhMABb-XY9HB3-ID_m7GQ9KfD7G4LAZtPdMwjENNzJsQi3D3wqJiyDlMJAtM&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Things that Lily was upset about this weekend:

*   climate change
*   rhinoceroses being hunted for their horns
*   "I heard when you're a teenager you get stuff in your face. I don't want to get stuff on my face!"

[2020-08-18](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3227261024081758/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZXqxWoI-byLRlYBad1-hGZ67KQwu2fUB9BIwsqsqahvUOAPgbfzmPXlJQ-r3eLUtXNC0Fg06j2f5OLIHinGDnl4WQPIyumO957lRU_M2YS5nQvdiyjeg5NgFcccA015ANQ0uywRMCFoL2AVfKa4PlN9g39lUyIJi_ZYhNdsaeWP90oHBhDj54XzdZ1q1jSYe2w&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

These days, Anna has two basic moods:  
1\. chipper

  
2\. AAAAGH I hate you! You're the worst sister in the world!  
I don't want you in this house!  
I don't want to live in this house!  
I don't want blue to be my favorite color anymore!  
I will never come upstairs!  
I don't want to live in this world! I want to live in space!  
I hate meals! I will never eat lunch!

[2020-08-19](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3228468713960989/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZXjBfWbnvkq9MNP0z1Tf6LqUvyoTPuGhz4b8qIswfyWff3BRk1NzJqseLP4TSqqwWS5Y82yKf_QfIJL7WWZfV3tH1udL0dNn3T5cj1VPjbCYu7KrrigEdTFvxODlVS8UdOBoR4IHVwiUag5YANGZ5I7MvUixYE7Wt3iNsSA_dSapDMMRz6B1QSmVUiJD19o3qo&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Anna tried a good trick on me tonight. I told her she could have two more honeysuckle flowers and then we were going home. I gave her one and she counted "Zero..." I gave her the next one and she counted "One..." Good try, but that's still two flowers no matter where on the number line you start.

[2020-08-21](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3230239797117214/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZWuei8ej019dZdOVpGuJXJtpUNdIizysuKYj0Ks3kf2iF4wS7NPLs0h3aj8QqO6ix94eRNDnbT8r4dkB6vFtZkvMLnfLXaLa7x_fZqasHO0iKBDfC1V3k5nzEZhN3tkkuMB04_fxeUH1JGIiRzp7nA_ZL_t97ga0Dq8MclzsRVRozVtEjtBYPxeQy8ooI6v4XM&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

When Lily has been afraid of things, I have sometimes offered to [bet](https://www.jefftk.com/p/bets-bonds-and-kindergarteners). For example, she thought there would be bees at the park and I was pretty sure there wouldn't be, so I offered to pay her a penny if there were bees, and she would pay me a penny if there were not.

Recently, Lily didn't want to go to the ocean because she was afraid that sharks would eat her up. I offered to bet that they wouldn't, and she called me on it. "Papa, if sharks eat me up you won't have to pay any money, and if they don't eat me up then I will have to pay you money."

[2020-08-23](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3231721713635689/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZVSrPlJXaQBD8WRln7bJzWmCY3t6ekPu4yNk751N_fCbSTOrP3If-rWb9V-ZJ_wTy0xTS1BZRBKm2zndIsL9xB7ul5IpDlurnS1Z767_AxkCkMFimObKJsTu_vC6jK0t2I7Q9ykPRhMAkGsGXFV1ImSdqh_UlbrhMqmCSZKJFow9Y-qMboj-_Yb8qH7ujf02ko&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Anna, very mad: "I don't want to have to explain the rules of the game to you, I want you to know what you have to do without me having to tell you!"

[2020-08-24](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3233004506840743/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZUO0R3brAlJbyVYEUGPMqXGnNlyFQWmJqJdEuOmfvjERamUWXZTuvhOTJyjzQxGzEPtCPyvvz9E0JKyNn7xgcq2lAswVSkEswx5E9f8QBR4aXFG6JjPHd8LkEt7ElTmeJGvfAm-ZDsni5FIz_LnIeiJquHSJ51716oZW_M6EGnNJTR4MX0JXgu9oqozfqSF0I4&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Anna: After nap, we're going to play a game. The winner is whoever tickles me the most. I bet you'll win, Mom!

[2020-09-01](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3240899916051202/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZVoLwps4Gdge5QlSzg66vIoLIiBTIZT3Q-IxHwX3OKAYB47R-yEdNLBjUAqopake_9zo1StSs3vtJfCvQJGAIBeCaABcqzOpM3Hb-ioed70NJFoa2ErvPcjaVOo-ciNYso17yp40oEJKfXNygXSywTZ4NgCz_d6Q6FG66Bf4tBlL73Cc2R-5nZnHKrH7FL2xZ8&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Anna, after being told something is not allowed: "It's allowed for giants. And I'm a giant. A baby giant. Baby Giants talk just like this, and they are exactly this size, and they look like this!"

[2020-09-06](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3245847615556432/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZXQwsdrDVOYzUkZ0mH24S5aYJR0ZhND7O2YVUJGP40UBfK0rjO_wU2Sq3Da9knb4N7cZ6Hvi6gq_qaWP_jOhmSiNBV547MmgrTjaDJFH_zuLzNypvH2ia8RIY1vbbj79nnM0mlIr2H9Hw_MvQt16o_BF-6GCe-rIAfxuWC5ZS9DgdHjT-KnbqZCv-DVWMhXpPA&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Lily: \[holds up Contact Specialist\] "Papa, what does this one do again?"

[2020-09-20](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3249107965230397/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZVUgMg1ooXZ3_GK43avdPtaz0zzjR70M7iaWqttuvl9TwbByPuEPKPMWKUSPJCBapoIlf2SwG4ej1UGN6yj1u3QaXgTmpJEy9iRNUL_fKnumZHMlwK6tgnI_uQnPTT0l5k8jcOxOsRzoyB_uiM5Fg6jY0scVscaF8hunW4dJ7gjMCoOq1hRSplpWgkYAUyBpl8&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

"Mama, can I tell you something?"

"Is it what you want for bedtime snack?"

"Well, it \*is\* on the bedtime snack topic..."

[2020-09-17](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3256582624482931/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZVUBQWlYHtCWn1Db-cp7CH0AnsTYxT4hBuh1jqyZZycdsg675iCSzxd2fGYXPusjoLJhgK8RJsPObYbis4AeNAXk3_ehF7-R8XqgfMPVpJ1WkXAIH1PS9Gk8oM9Z7fjoI65DWpbUqxnUqQbk2DtU4f7vZRK1XjAn4FMtm9o_2Dr113B_cwlxXwvisfM1FKDW7U&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Competition this morning:

"I'm taking a bath after you."

"I'm taking twenty hundred baths."

"I'm taking twenty million baths!"

"I'm taking twenty billion baths."

"I'm taking twenty trillion baths."

"I'm taking twenty tuba market Lily Anna window dollhouse lightbulb baths."

"That's not a number."

"Whoever says it first winsI'mtakingabath!"

"Whoever says it last wins."

\[silence\]

...

In the end I believe they took one bath each.

[2020-09-18](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3258041481003712/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZWpgSCS6nWdsK11fc2s10waCvRNWi1SuKOz9dJ2LL8a6aElvbxE6Mvv93Y5RxOCYLQd84_3sGWbezaCfM5FvWJRinuKwQAlKml38GRFlOm4zzaUNK82sxyrLh0nk_pbO4o47XoiyVYk_JuYkJCYHXnf7znc2x81287PDujaNU4jNWm6jxa2xo4XKKlXgGpFt4c&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Anna at the park to another kid: how old are you?

Other kid: I'm ten I think? Mommy, how many am I?

Mother: you're three, sweetie

[2020-09-18](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3258189564322237/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZXQE5kq9UT2f-QZxhSwVKO5nIhf5EyCRuHulHOJsEouFr5avtlwysQ68OU1I47sOBAdNCNPHCAm3c9egLlNHnZxx5iKV_cO6KytzCuBj3MROSXCGbBzZSR09Sq8tp14QZQ6_uPeW-NGV8yz22Q3oHHnxAo0b4R8wzuY-pe6_hhOi3Et90P0an8-P94FfH2iHUw&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Anna, listening to Lily's podcast: What's that person's name?

Lily: I don't know.

Anna: Maybe Izeria!

Me: What?

Anna: Izeria! I know a lot about science.

[2020-09-24](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3263364220471438/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZUBiG-PoSJBOLWSlkYEUz2UZ07jWpiRMW4VdYNpYlysUzW_ILwveK-NrHfxOO3VdZDdYX2XD7d1rCVAb-2Agbuwi8X9IC_rVqpbtXoCVPa0FrqR43opYSSVM21jPqWrJmfDlyUBY7xmaPuqKH7IrCge9N80fV9V05pou6XLEG5TaRchFn2-xDGlQ3oQPN27FYo&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Anna seems to have passed through her rage stage ("I don't want to live in this house" etc) and into an appreciative stage:

The ever-welcome "You are the best mama in the world"

The more general "Everyone in my family is the best family in the world"

And the sweet but tautological "All the people in the world are the best people in the world."

[2020-09-25](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3264253073715886/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZVbr42Ni-Fbko-No3CFf--Oc20exK5Jo8qgJueYbi_irdnM8EhTOMAIFlZLV8f8yEK1i_qmkC7QoUUaU_Hb0HBaGLrImC2p-IUF96oMVQHrfvfjvNbgXZx_JueCnoSzgDa_yPPzhPld2LjKASjDNfW_W2qAYGpVksEseqM6XikENXfYNp3tiw4GdyMmxBg3JQk&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

"Anna, are you pulling the feathers out of that pillow?"

"Only some of them"

[2020-09-26](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3265357963605397/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZXyTWZLLWYG0uNccjYbMP3prC4l1uiE08DD-XSIcrKxQ_BzouY0y21M8ELdOLtN0_gmHgMq-_8krJwJnaOtk_GmrtjGC-O_dlMU6qESxr3Mnqf50KtnrazwVu692zuBlS1l6MW5jhGsg1vGrZC6CnLCS_cZ4eAG5AyetcX33uyNvSUv0KLr9MUpyMv1-WPZjSQ&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Anna: "I could fit 20 million Earths inside my eyeballs"

[2020-09-30](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3269675489840311/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZWhn-QAIJBGAm21jMNfbT7oG5UBAugvPHOwEeVfMYMuyBUBYORUnuGO6DGcxf0MEQs9pFNUitOiVijD1XvIKTgFJNIyVaBDXSZS_dz98-hfTiqJIF-CStLt7y7mpSll3XDbda8uv84UNgyYlJodhx_hSJsRx3juiJKp7aB756Iz8dNNGUvyeP6n2d8C_TRdf9s&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

We were reading a book where a character digs up a bar of gold. I asked Lily what she'd do if she found a bar of gold.

"If Annie was real, I'd buy her a new Winkie doll. \[character in the book whose doll got burnt up\]. I'd keep a dollar. And the rest I'd donate to homeless people. Maybe if they had enough money, they could find a house they could afford.

...If Annie wasn't alive or if she wasn't real, I'd donate half the money to malaria nets and homeless people. And I'd keep ten dollars, five for me and five for Anna. That's fair, isn't it? And the rest I'd give to you guys for stuff like groceries and the house loan. But it's only for stuff you need, like if one of us gets sick you would buy us medicine. But diet coke and mentos explosions? No."

Good to know what makes the cut.

[2020-10-04](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3273255746148952/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZUHeg1hL0FZI7SPFgihTbvEgKVOFN3zpdOhtuEoneyZXPG7MN97fpK6fQTJOrv6oVSFHXe-SV1y2-twddZF29tpSzhYlLPGEq33ROdKbF3MtH6zOczZ7KtmTSlNCCJ9FH9SrQHHginMJCCiKZ7nNDT8JrU_gv_AfuItge6Wt6G1xhbKmpwitEb9piBZoZoHLkM&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Lily ran an election for president of her dolls and stuffed animals, and her Elsa barbie won in a landslide (possibly seen as a more experienced candidate due to previously serving as Queen of Arandelle.) Elsa went missing this week (she was later located in a laundry basket) so Lily held another election last night. At bedtime she was telling me about the downfall of Dolphiny the stuffed dolphin.

"Ten dolphins - including Dolphiny! - owned half the money in the world."

"How did they get that much money?"

"Robbing."

"I can see why people wouldn't want to vote for Dolphiny, then."

Monkey is now serving as president, although I'm not sure what the plan is now that Elsa has been found.

[2020-10-06](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3275442205930306/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZVlEi_cyqzFJw_1iaaMEzSUJzT6-tf8TBVkKeJKyyJmr2qKXDnwimlEBiQOr0VPIcaloVsQ81hxA7H9JiZTwf6Btwr0NzjQAqSxKR1E0671FVhp5AegYfWU1phg20t-VdK0-_agu5xW2SuYZHD5Qn3NmfbWrba6UYEcFfkrNm_ozG8tLDrqmI8lkAPJDPTkj2I&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Lily: "I want to join the navy."

Me: "... you have to be 18 to join the navy."

Lily: "I want to join the navy when I'm 18, then."

Me: "What do you know about the navy?"

Lily: "You get a sword."

[2020-10-13](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3281496441991549/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZUIEk7YBJilE1zv5KYZ5fE8aaTmKYJukFjPyIKyQfhxu9jfpTzOyIxOCScA8z11UsR2CwIsnJnj24YWVrODrZQ-JH5qsPm0rqWNX3mVb4ad48tCS7ANGAH8ipycVaKJk93dwpdchSc2Xw3czZFpNAdzh_IocePbNbacIGKfHfXQR50aBze5pT-aiuKGx46H8y4&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Lily: "Jeffy, you should let me play more games on my tablet. They did a study, and kids who got more screen time were more patient. They did the marshmallow test, and kids who got more screen time were better at waiting."

[2020-10-16](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3284992701641923/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZU52kmcRWM3T0Cq6OAnKozvU0cqb0zbmpCYm8Q_aDNCOy8jAcLzHeoOxsL6glapPVm6ZkE9fE13mS8huXOPGuk8TeSV6RoitWlkr6NTA024NW4cR91Z2QvkWzRfu9Nzf8camItD3ZQncgvPgVsR4i_bAUaKYHHeH8xvoLvwn1qsRRxsGtBgpTIDD39dG66vnK4&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Lily decided this afternoon would be "Fun Friday", laid out a selection of board games, asked me to make a cake, and hid behind a sofa so she could jump out and yell "surprise!" when Anna came down from nap. Anna has the post-nap grumps and has announced "I hate cake. Cake is the worst thing ever." "I only want to have Fun Friday in my room." "I hate cake, and babies. I hate everything."

[2020-10-17](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3285806848227175/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZX30N7Z89d-94XX5OxyuWY508nDJWIid3rus7xHibvtXK8-MPqQ6Vv7NDDVaZo9xnh6tV2BXyWwXiz3HEfncFieQdcJ7EdqywH9XkqMHxqnbZo5CJW2mJwvOw_WBM6a9cC53uXf5-3RC_RO9kGjqrDvWkjMwTO1_RmHLiDak0PQ7AhLCQFDlgRXZ_7faUKyKdU&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Reasons we have not left the house yet, serially:

*   Anna doesn't want to wear a helmet because then she has to take off her hood
*   Anna forgot her mask
*   Kids decide they want mittens
*   One of them decides they want snow pants
*   Another realizes they haven't used the potty yet
*   The other one decides they also want snow pants

Time elapsed so far: half an hour

Luckily we don't really have much of a deadline!

[2020-10-18](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3287127048095155/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZW8jgD3T1XgCBolckiC1hV6RLHHmK2ChIUCMRXa2YieymApMFgjEo08gWqhWiDeg-NI9F5CFP52XAPIu-8qQTnSArg6mU5pA-ivP6YwYqwBNdQAbPdgft-n3ztwZ5f4GgV5q0uFjUtWd25IVkaXVAU0J6WT-vcqIG1V8rlpZUgYxL1ASmYXHMdQqaPlTKicdaw&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

We are making spider decorations for Halloween.

Anna: A big spider always needs a baby spider to be proper.

Me: ...to be proper?

Anna: Yeah. Duh.

She has many times implied the "duh" in her answers to me, but I think this is the first time she's said it out loud.

[2020-10-25](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3294513934023133/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZWr2FM4J9FUh3H-LKZqLxJ18Zw8ChvBsQENwyNJG_FGquwsiKJzVdTRdFFs93xQ9s8M5HR6jrM_GL5THZ_taefN5GrfcQW07viRm-TxZMYHHF_tfGT5lV40CMvI9cF_rkF4_4dHTXQ_A6RLvF1JCIWP5FYH1Y4pHzufzwzUfLRR6y8y33J8PqVHewVy-6061fk&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Lily: "I only want to brush my grown-up teeth"

[2020-10-28](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3297611233713403/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZXgx9NfD9IYaLDaiFe6YMeU03eXi-HpqQrmKrj3gWVGxxdCRPv1ZmGRyddp596J1EKPgvqwfZhkgh7PrQv4CuYrYgfD7xJ9VdbWcT_aoUEnLUyS77YTRInhw0zuewBwbGpTQUtQQp04_QhmYzbsrkzC05KcTwk5A1fQG3oBgqpRujQpyG1sWOCcEA-GlPS-kQg&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Lily has learned the concept of a cliffhanger, so now a lot of nights when I announce it's time for me to stop reading aloud she argues we are at a cliffhanger in the story and I can't possibly stop now.

[2020-10-31](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3300916693382857/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZWYhP5DFd7k-KL8VkYLmTaHWg1AzHm93EjpM1vuiT41-ZKNqwSXP6_AA6AqRwhT69VDcNl4eb7a5CuZe_hU9U91A48Y5weMfhdtTlkcLt4BEcMdOLU4IX9RfQWmjWjZcxMxR4wGEJdbdwywimjBcYxwXWrQXUkhbiyuaF0md4HUG4iOx-v53gyBrHSbnB5L63I&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Lily went trick-or-treating barefoot in the snow because she didn't have purple shoes that matched her costume. I brought her shoes just in case. After about a block she stopped and put them on. "This feels so much better!"

[2020-11-02](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3303113256496534/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZUQhvqGXM-Y--iSd6P7QQbSxDlQlRlhoxDR36-YCbWsBA6QmX00_9DmRkmPM8QwxqUgy2KgJ1a5fLs_Enpr1dQ3Nzc9DL2GCKCruetyAKbfRWqy-T8aLMl81BUGodeXvhUJW-SuE6IoBvYZUzzUpX2THAWQBNvY--rhxbjdbeHfb7I9ivOO50AKIBxcahdSj0M&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Lily, to Anna: "I will always be your friend, no matter if you can fly or not"

[2020-11-04](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3305473566260503/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZWiYR2LCYg4quBJFkmg99ybqe4o_zwmM0Awi-hnrNld_XNxsbvcu6GIymXYxzy-pZZPHGlge7z6K6gHHWv4ltMl8wI09x9HswWJEISYgSND-Qhe2mBS7URgaqML9M-ew1MtJUM7ZGbi6kVp1KUFwseXtYHquNWPUgnCZ58u0DReX1gBDNXgRqRIJs32wdlXHkE&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Lily told me that Elsa retired as president of her stuffed animals, so Thomas the giraffe and Butterbear are having an election to be her successor. I asked who she thought would win.

"Thomas, because he will give all the stuffies free ice cream every Wednesday."

"How is he going to pay for the ice cream?"

"It's \*free\* ice cream."

We discussed the concept of "there ain't no such thing as a free ice cream." It turns out Thomas is very wealthy and can reimburse the ice cream truck owners, and also the free ice cream will only be in the summertime.

[2020-11-06](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3307450612729465/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZURjbeKmgQKVdXHsz4JWblxLzzFJtdHMoPa_tl-il9ZByOF43iR1-geAo7ONXvoCjy__RsFdh6op8pKZRb1UEqZMQQHb4aJkOin78tZaXUXA51f9oO9AF2TI3WfZP7Ts8lCk3stj_UQKx16o92Eu_xWTGrPx6GhHlmjuwVErg5U0i-R7zet_leNm1HCVbzYAaE&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Both kids have gotten into dictating books that I transcribe and they illustrated. Here's "Dinosaurs" by Anna:

"Long, long ago there were dinosaurs. That was before any people could be born. Dinosaurs have their eggs in clutches.

Different people started to be born. They were a strange animal. Then they got less strange. Then they turned into real people. Now back to the dinosaurs.

No one really knows why the dinosaurs were extinct. I don't think that any dinosaurs were pink or blue.

Sometimes dinosaurs could grow faster than other dinosaurs did. First dinosaurs are babies, then kids, then adults.

Some dinosaurs accidentally died, like in floods. Or they died by other dinosaurs eating them. Some dinosaurs died because they didn't have enough food.

Sometimes, once, dinosaurs died from a big rock coming from space to the earth that was called an asteroid."

[2020-11-09](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3310068922467634/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZXVy1cUMZkpy10rMBpUJaedqZk9ZR7Iu_TcH6kHolPyWmvtDtG91ZhN69CF8Y842wVV852LOQZyerzu2I4ExG5V9W4CyzKKiUR_X5l6Fta0QFS4Apkx2PJrjdLQIbjdYTENpIzEVVSpv-C1kWDbSz4598K1NL3z9GXOCO3joJqMsJfW9qFP5po_k-l8_XQWaRw&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Lily braided some pipe cleaners, and sold them to Anna for $2. "You're lucky Anna, this is a special sister discount."

[2020-11-15](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3316727711801755/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZXYaSDzsmzdvZgyeqxHBZDb4W_dpqSQou69RMbSmIEUW00d1TXjkSDAwEjg-WDgM7a6I6npduWw4SpzsWgiW07O29agNzJeVOXP8uYGaQCE0zVj7WiZgylruRR4dCXA2giprr0a06cVuaIp3EL5Qty7ejuggFDP6GEtxhOTHxDS4_cRBSlWv6VuHNgl0rRh4R0&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Lily's theory on babies:

"Maybe you could get a baby from the baby store. They have 170 babies and they ask you, "White, black, or Latina?" And you'd say white. And they'd ask "what color eyes?" and you'd say blue. They'd ask "what color hair?" and you'd say "Blond but it will turn brown later."

I asked where the store gets the babies.

"From space in the Googoo 220. It brings them to the baby shelter. And the store gets them from the baby shelter."

I have many, many followup questions but of course she always brings up this kind of material right before bed

[2020-11-30](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3330514323756427/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZWEvaRI4kv95rmVvRwNncnAJ_4MCtv3DuPOdFKd-asqZhEmDykZ_aNY1Sslu7qY527rYdbm3zR4tRYD2jjaW3SHfNYV_FRkuvtqHT5FlPsd6iL5PgHwLMzalwAcbpWoz68_XZHj-KJfLgFxcLvXHq5mB3kyprTT-fWu0Fcpkijfv46zZeC8r_mcK8ZUiCahW-s&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Lily: I need some red pants.

Me: Oh?

Lily: And some black boots. And a Santa mask.

[2020-12-09](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3338691716272021/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZXVUAVkxP1r6LuGdaF01sbtsFBIiU2K8CHAMr1GoSv0tt7uJpGT3DuorewnHByhrf15MrZIJrbsOpLYYlZOITMSfI-6NXo2lMygsmslJIDYnQTH1PwHye5ISZTF3amD6cwsJrbChbFsIb_bK9W35QbPHycRqUWo26CdWg7vsL7ZXnGrWSGSPwv5So7N3QZvQEY&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Lily dictated a Christmas wishlist with about 30 items tonight. Later she marked the ones she especially wanted. "I picked the ones that were most important to me, and the ones I thought I would use the most. Because I think I would use a remote-control robot and a remote-control plane a lot."

I notice "drum set" is also marked - not sure whether that's due to importance or expected frequency of use.

[2020-12-13](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3341465939327932/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZWnyg1DVfhDZjqTBFhCjw2h7HmfQmeKIoh8n4bu4jl-G2y5Pm9O2N9utrYwd9WleQGkzWVZh10a2O778QfA7U8gNPyN9MvvkmVnS8lLKc072HnUdim8el0tyxdVGa46jTcXV_Cp_iE7U79Kc3ptlNWHzgg3Blaq0AylKo6yC4wQ6YHZhyh3LKifD8OrBVuARh0&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Anna: "I'm going to pick a book. Looking, looking. Here it is, the one I want, the one you hate!"

Me: "Anna, did you just pick out a book because Lily hates it?"

Anna: "No, I picked it because I like it. It does give Lily scary dreams."

[2020-12-19](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3346615258813000/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZX8drCQz57yNw3eO1ADlf0-87bt87HBtS-CAHDmtnnpOSQisj7qOnXqhW9ZCLSlupmtmbMZjvP02MECJUHIcBju5chOopaX3Vls66bBohxpeuPCrlnRW4NpA5oUBx4QlyQEcBDfqwppB5hifPxpL1IADMacYZA37ZaxaIn0O43MbXfvrMlHqxGvLCGldhjVMYA&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Anna, appearing in the kitchen doorway with a dress up dress:

"Can you give me braids?

Also, you guys are becoming kings and queens! Because I am becoming a princess.

Look how long I can stand on one leg!"

[2020-12-20](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3347719055369287/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZW1uk2q6yb2qXg17dYVHZod2h91svtWI-q6stTFLOcnHSzH35iscDaEwCmjdYzd4kDoX7dIjAYFDQE-VcGSaInlIpJc6JWc3agZ80T6N6L4fgPjX1CRJlcXU57ZmAAvwpdbAWdJvtQzze-x6Uy369uQY7EY_POogLcAq1HvVUAidtNKkDUQDy3-Mz8cu6M20T8&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Lily and Anna are in the bath arranging a vacation for their whale toy. Lily is coaching Anna on how to answer for the whale:

"Say that you have a two week vacation coming up from your job as an artist, so you can go on this kayak vacation. Do you have any vacation coming up?"

Anna, as the whale: "Yes, I have two weeks."

Lily: "Great, you can go on vacation in this kayak!"

Anna: "But I have children to take care of."

Lily: "They can go in the kayak too!"

Must be a large kayak.

[2020-12-21](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3348582148616311/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZWtRV1IKGPFh0mHhjy3jgdj4Ks5wDyGRdpG91blY9moBW1nzdXN9smkPa8I2i7yxjIrKLt0y-26RAdEnJoUffNC7VTu6mgbPg5PUnHKu5ERAklNbau2TgMLCF5nXFZPXJE2klyOsLhYgVnQyEOhnfODUyQex46Jvap996EZot9Oyk3ar0YCbSQ98ZvNmLaPNN0&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

"No echolocation at dinner"

[2020-12-23](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3350180535123139/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZVGyGXbosQqaZt_qTt7xsryHMEpNbT6fTZnQpAExAK0yP2ygQJE8NpVhj7REZeBRnr99sntZW0VIFG3VV5UNCbOnlfsjF69JHle7Un411ChfhsOXbkjLD5NQo69w7Tj52omdIB8cbQROQNLa2j0QWsdHTEOVhh8F-QFjvruYJLwNmdWCWlvr1PiB-ybvxnCqVc&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

One of our housemates moved out and Jeff is setting up his work desk in the now-available room. Lily is arguing that instead the room should become her science lab, because she asked for a science kit for Christmas. We are arguing that the kinds of science you do at age 6 can typically be done at the dining room table or in the basement rather than requiring a lab. Lily is extremely sure that she should receive a science kit that you need a lab for.

[2020-12-27](https://www.facebook.com/groups/2264685517005985/posts/3353005918173934/?__cft__%5B0%5D=AZWbLkosKEst2dEUUd9idxXEp5sBRbLyy3eBcs_viYP6gEsumyQya_PiofD1I1WVJ-qUtHgYm2UCNkBUSZPrkG1bWBIIcBlfi3skG9px7QONYTIlXpPZ96qUDwyVZ5p0OdpGwacepM6qOj90_RlSO5I8qrayMViY75SIInvUv2XxGCOlLsTiOQCKk0pfH6ui38Y&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R)

Lily: "If all you got for Christmas was one thing and you had to choose, which would you pick: a rattle or a rattlesnake?"