BATMAN 2 COP What the hell -- ? BRAKES SQUEAL.Several squad cars are now massed at the entrance to the park -- but there's one problem.The city's snow plows don't operate on the park roads -- and the entrance is blocked off with SAWHORSES reading "CLOSED TO TRAFFIC."A huge steep drift prevents them from entering -- and so all they can do is stand by helplessly, WATCHING as the snowmobiles vanish into the trees. COP WITH MIKE Yeah, you heard me.Snowmobiles! (pause) So what do we do?Chase 'em on foot?? COP I ...That was Batman. COP II NO SHIT!! COP I ...Merry Christmas. COP II Gift-wrapped and everything. GORDON After a high-speed chase -- over $750,000 in precious jewels were recovered intact by the police force -- working in concert with Batman. VOICES IN CROWD TAKE BACK THE STREETS!TAKE BACK THE STREETS!TAKE BACK THE -- GORDON waits for them to shut up, but they don't; so he grabs the mike and speaks slowly and distinctly, trying to be heard over the din. GORDON I would like to stress -- that while this city enjoys a special relationship with Batman -- (louder) -- we do not condone vigilantism -- (practically screaming) -- IN ANY FORM. SEKOWSKY And hey!Where does this -- (BLEEP; expletive deleted) -- Gordon get off calling us ? We're not breakin' any laws.We're a group of concerned citizens, that's all -- just like Batman. WOMAN IN CROWD You people are nothing but hoodlums! SEKOWSKY Hey, lady -- we're out here on patrol riskin' our necks to protect old biddies like you. (into mike) If this lame-o Gordon could do his job -- BRUCE I'm not deaf, Alfred.I hear you. ALFRED I took the liberty of preparing tea. (indicating tbe monitors) I take it you've been watching the news? BRUCE Yeah...lot of crazy people in this world. ALFRED I should inform you...Christmas is approaching, and we've received our annual solicitation from the Fireman's Toy Fund. (eyeing the equipment) If I may inquire...? BRUCE Oh, yeah.Watch this. ALFRED Most ingenious, sir.What exactlyit? BRUCE What does it look like? ALFRED To the untrained eye, sir, it looks remarkably like...the skeleton of an umbrella. BRUCE Good guess, Alfred.That's exactly right. ALFRED Splendid, sir, and if I may say, I'm glad you're putting your time to such productive use. (beat) Now -- the Toy Fund.Our contribution last year was a half-million dollars... BRUCE We can do better than that. ALFRED Then there's the foster-parents program... the Gotham homeless crusade... ALFRED (cont.) Is something troubling you, sir? BRUCE Yeah...the holidays, I guess.Always gets me thinking about... (he changes the subject) And to tell you the truth, I'm a little -- concerned about Vicki. ALFRED (anxiously) Miss Vale, sir...? BRUCE Yeah.I've been thinking about it lately. Thinking about it a lot... (gravely; shaking his head) ...and I still can't figure out what to get her for Christmas. GUARD Up and at 'em, Pengy.-- Pengy? GUARD (cont.) Boniface... PAROLE OFFICER You want to return the money you stole. BONIFACE Intact.The map will show you where it's buried. PAROLE OFFICER All of it.Forty-two million dollars. PAROLE OFFICER II Why this sudden change of heart? MR. BONIFACE Gentlemen, I want my debt to be repaid in full.I want to be a part of civilized society! (oozing sincerity) Prison life is not for me.The guilt, the fear, the constant shame...one meets a disturbingly low class of people. PAROLE OFFICER II Sure, but -- forty-two million dollars?? WARDEN His record's clean.Thirteen years without an incident. ATTORNEY I'd like to point out, my client's put his time to good use.A student of ornithology...articles published in several respected journals... MR. BONIFACE Birds, yes.My only source of solace. PAROLE OFFICER In light of this rather extraordinary gesture, I see no reason not to endorse your application for parole. BONIFACE Thank you, sir.You won't regret it. MYNAH CRIME DOES NOT PAY.AAWWK!!CRIME DOES NOT PAY. ATTORNEY Personally trained by my client. Free time -- the cell doors are open and the convicts are milling around in the common area.T-BONE, 220 lbs. of dumb, hulking beef, saunters up to his cell and finds his bunkmate, MR. BONIFACE, staring at a stack of EMPTY CAGES.BONIFACE whirls on him suddenly, his face beet-red, APOPLECTIC WITH RAGE: MR. BONIFACE -- Where are my birds?!? T-BONE Shit, Pengy.I let 'em go. MR. BONIFACE Hermione.My canary.It's the dead of winter! T-BONE They were all cooped up.With you leaving and all -- seemed like the humane thing to do. MR. BONIFACE I see.-- You might as well have this.I won't be needing it... T-BONE Well, thanks, Pengy.No hard feelings. (chuckling to himself) Y'know, I'm gonna miss that pudgy little ass of yours. MR. BONIFACE You won't miss it long. It's fifteen degrees outside as MR. BONIFACE -- aka THE PENGUIN -- waddles forth from the prison gates, regally attired in cutaway and pin-stripes.He pauses to inhale a deep lungful of the icy air; then, with a smile of exhilaration, he removes his coat and STRETCHES -- spreading his wings, REVELING in the cold. FRICK Welcome back, Mr. Boniface. PENGUIN Mr. Frick.Mr. Frack.Our years of planning are about to pay off. Now that he's loose, the PENGUIN's rapacious side is beginning to show.His eyes twinkle with greed as he contemplates his own ingenuity. PENGUIN I take it they found the money all right? FRACK We buried it exactly as you specified. $42,271,009... PENGUIN How much have we got left? FRICK Let's see -- an initial capitalization of 42 million and change, compounded over thirteen years, at an annual return of just under sixteen percent -- PENGUIN Fine, fine.How much? FRICK Seventy-nine million.-- Excluding the sum we buried. PENGUIN Speaking of burials... T-BONE on work detail.He's got the Walkman on and he's shoveling snow to the beat.He winces, and removes the headphones... T-BONE HEY -- ! He lets out a HOWL and staggers through the prison yard in a frenzy.DOZENS of PIGEONS are pouring over the prison walls, SHRIEKING HIDEOUSLY, descending on him.He falls to the ground screaming for help, but the other prisoners run like rabbits, terrified... ALFRED He won't hear a word of it from me. VICKI He's such a nightmare to shop for.-- What do you get him year after year, Alfred? ALFRED (conspiratorially) I find you can't go wrong with surveillance equipment.Let me put this under the tree... VICKI Not so fast. ALFRED Why, Miss Vale -- ! VOICE FROM BEHIND What's all this? VICKI Don't look.It's your present. BRUCE What'd you get me?Kareem Abdul-Jabbar? VICKI I'm going to give you the happiest Christmas you've ever had. VICKI Homeless. (beat) I was just down here Tuesday.Seems like there's more every day. VICKI (cont.) Christmas time.And they say there's over a thousand people living in the park already. BRUCE -- Yeah. VICKI They're already razing the tenements and SRO's downtown.These people don't have anyplace else to go. (beat) If the city starts selling off the park... BRUCE -- Yeah.I guess I'll pass on dessert. VICKI (taking his hand) Bruce, you do a lot more than most people even dream of. BRUCE Sure.Comes off the top of my taxes -- VICKI That's not what I meant. BRUCE -- What I "do" doesn't come close to the root of the problem, Vicki. (long pause) I'm just a Band-Aid. VOICE FROM BEHIND Bruce!It's been ages! BRUCE Randall.You remember Vicki.-- How's the construction business? SHAW The park tower?All systems go.If we can get the junkies and winos cleared out... (a big grin) Not too late to get in on the deal. BRUCE I'll think about it. SHAW Say, Walter Barrett's due back from Europe.We should all get together at the club. (clapping him on the shoulder) Nice to see you again,Miss Veal. VICKI What a pig. BRUCE I've known him since he was seven years old.He was a pig then too. VICKI Now he wants to gobble up the park... (shivering) Bruce -- isn't there something you can do about people like that? BRUCE What, tie him up with a bat-rope? VICKI No, you idiot.I meant you.Bruce. RED BERET I We were on patrol.Saw the whole thing. JOGGER I was attacked.Three men in ski masks -- COP I (indicating the RED BERETS) And these two broke it up? JOGGER These two??They ran like rabbits.I never saw anybody take off so -- RED BERET II Hey!Somebody had to go for the cops. COP II You.SHUT UP, all right?? (to the JOGGER) Lady, who was it that bailed you out?? JOGGER A kid.Thirteen or fourteen tops.He just came out of nowhere and -- tore into 'em. (shaking her head) It was so quick I didn't even see his face. An exasperated COP leads the RED BERETS away from the crime site: RED BERET I Dumb shit.Shouldn'ta been jogging in the park at night anyway. (sullenly) Look around you.It's fulla bums. BRUCE Nice outfit. RED BERET I Piss off, geek. ANCHORWOMAN ...and tomorrow, the city's power elite will be turning out in force to greet millionaire industrialist Walter Barrett, who returns to Gotham after a five-year stay in Europe... Moments later, the owner of the high heels enters; she opens her black fur coat and unwraps her muffler, revealing exotic, vaguely Eurasian features.She's dark and elegant, fine- boned, regal of bearing -- and her name, though we don't know it yet, is SELINA KYLE. RICKY How'd you know that? SELINA I heard you on the phone.Talking to your girlfriend. RICKY Girlfriend?No, no.That was business. SELINA If you've got time for a little pleasure ...maybe you'd like to buy me a drink. RICKY Jeez -- they look almost real. SELINA Why wouldn't they be? RICKY You'd have to be crazy.Nobody'd wear the real thing to a dive like this. SELINA Oh, they're real, all right.So are these. SELINA's eyes flash as he gasps in shock.He tries to jerk his hand away, but he can't break her grip.Then -- her dominance firmly established -- she releases his hand with a coy, Cheshire-cat smile. DOCK GOON I Where's that goddam Ricky? DOCK GOON II Probably out gettin' laid.And here we are freezin' our balls off... The LIEUTENANT unloads chemical testing gear from his doctor's bag.The lead BOAT THUG gestures to a stack of SHIPPING CRATES which rest atop a large NET spread out across the deck. BOAT THUG I You pick. LIEUTENANT It's pure. A BLACK SILHOUETTE is peering down from the boathouse roof. The mysterious watcher ducks quickly out of sight; the only details that register are a pair of ominously familiar POINTY EARS... CHIEF GOON (O.S.) Let's do it. BOAT THUG I Hold it.Let's see the money. BOAT THUG I YOU SON OF A BITCH! (to another BOAT THUG) Go after it.Get the money.GO!! BOAT THUG I Soltar las amarras!-- CAST OFF!! ANOTHER BOAT THUG LOOK! FRICK Mr. Boniface?Your...visitor has arrived. PENGUIN Thank you, Mr. Frick.Show her in. PENGUIN Ah, Miss Kyle!At last we meet. SELINA At last we meet.-- Pigeons? PENGUIN Yes, they're common birds -- dirty, stupid, unattractive -- but they're very obedient, and they do crap on people's heads.May I? PENGUIN (cont.) I see your reputation was not exaggerated. SELINA I've located the others.All but one. (shivering) I'm surprised you don't catch pneumonia -- ! PENGUIN My normal body temperature is ninety-two degrees.Germs find me inhospitable. SELINA I see why they call you the Penguin. PENGUIN They may call me that...but rarely more than once.Champagne? PENGUIN (cont.) My dear.Here's to the second biggest crime in the history of Gotham City. BULLOCK It wasn't about the drugs.Whoever it was left thirty kilos sitting on the docks. GORDON What's that he keeps saying? BULLOCK "Murcielago."-- Bat. GORDON Nonsense.That dock looked like a slaughter-house.Batman's never committed murder. BULLOCK We did find this in his back pocket. BARRETT Fine welcome.These storm troopers of yours dragged me away from my coming-home party! (beat) I'd like to know the meaning of this -- GORDON I'd like to know how thirty kilos of pure cocaine wound up concealed in your personal effects. BARRETT Gordon -- I come from one of the oldest and most influential familles in Gotham. If you plan to accuse me of smuggling drugs, be my guest. (long, menacing pause) I'll have your badge before you leave this room. GORDON Book the son of a bitch. BARRETT I believe I'm still entitled to a phone call. SHAW Come on!Let's move it!We're an hour behind as it is!! SHAW Jesus Christ, that's Bruce Wayne's bimbo! HARDHAT Phone call, Mr. Shaw.Guy said it's urgent. SHAW (to tbe SURVEYOR) Hold the ball.I wanna hear it crash. INTERCUT - BARRETT AND SHAW BARRETT It's me, Randall -- Walter Barrett.I want you to call my attorney.That was my shipment they busted up last night. SHAW Jesus, Walter, I -- (suddenly puzzled) Why are you calling me?? BARRETT It's worse than that.Somebody took my raven. ANGLE ON VICKI - THAT MOMENT WILK Cops even got a note."Those who feed on the soul of Gotham will suffer my wrath!" (grinning; to VICKI) Sounds like your pal's cranked it up a notch. VICKI Seen the late edition? ALFRED I'm afraid so, Miss Vale.Master Bruce is sequestered in the cave. On their way to the Batcave, ALFRED and VICKI pass through the library.They pause in front of the television -- which is tuned to a PANEL SHOW, with various experts discussing the hot issue of the day. ALFRED (shaking his head) Ah, the public.Dishearteningly fickle. CITY OFFICIAL I And I suppose anyone could've taken out a boatload of armed thugs.A dozen men, Jim -- murdered in cold blood -- GORDON Before we forget, Batman's saved hundreds of lives! CITY OFFICIAL II He's still a vigilante.We don't know who he is, where he comes from, why he does it... CITY OFFICIAL I Street punks are one thing, Jim.This is Walter Barrett -- a personal friend of mine! CITY OFFCIAL II You've gotta bring him in, Jim -- at least for questioning.It would sure help if we could get that mask off... BRUCE Ladies and gentlemen...I've been framed. COP One-delta-niner -- 10-80 on Riverview north-bound at 33rd -- 10-78, repeat 10-78. BATMAN Evasive. WOMAN It's a fake. SHAW Hmm.It cost me a half a million dollars. You're sure? WOMAN Absolutely.You see, I...happen to know where the real one is stashed. SHAW I guess you'd know.I have some "friends" in the art world.They say that -- for certain hard-to-get items -- you're the one to call. WOMAN (O.S.) How flattering. SHAW They say for the right price...you could steal Michelangelo off the Sistine Chapel Wall. WOMAN (O.S.) Mr. Shaw.Do you believe everything you hear? SHAW Oh, I'm not one to judge.I admire people who take what they want.I'm just curious how you do it. SELINA I find that the old methods work best. SHAW Hey, what are those -- what are you -- COP JESUS! Forty stories up.The CATWOMAN, in a surefooted crouch, she scurries along the ledge -- SPRINGS at a cornice -- and in one lithe motion VAULTS UP onto the ROOF.She scampers across the rooftops, dropping from one to the next with rope and tackle, like a mountain climber -- COP Hey.You see what I saw...? BULLOCK It's Randall Shaw.Torn to ribbons.-- We just made Batman up on the roof. GORDON Oh God. The BUS rumbles deeper into the snowy park.A BLACK SILHOUETTE springs off the roof into the trees, disappearing among the branches... VICKI Please, just one.It's important for people to see what's happening. HOMELESS MAN They don't want to see us, lady.They just want us gone -- out of sight, and out of mind. (mumbling as he wanders off) Get worse before it gets better.It always does. VICKI WAIT!Don't be afraid.I wanted to thank you.I -- KID (cautiously) Twenty. VICKI What? KID Twenty bucks. VICKI ...Who are you? KID Dick. HER POV - THROUGH TELEPHOTO LENS For a moment it seems like she's lost him.As she sweeps the lens back and forth, scanning the trees, she catches sight of an EQUESTRIAN STATUE in the distance.She ups the magnification so she can see the plaque on the pedestal.The stone figure on the horse is Union war hero GEN. OLIVER WAYNE -- BRUCE's great-grandfather. There's a DRAINAGE TUNNEL, four or five feet in diameter, mounted in the bridge abutment, the KID pries off a wire grate and clambers inside, then pulls the grate back into place behind him.Home sweet home. as she lowers the lens.Her face is full of conflicting emotions.She'd love to corner this boy vigilante and find out what his story is.But on the other hand -- even the homeless are entitled to their privacy... WOMAN'S VOICE Now Hecate.You don't want that scrawny little bird -- PENGUIN Do you want me to wring that creature's neck? SELINA You try it, I'll do the same to you. (as he grumbles; bemused) I saw him, you know. PENGUIN Saw who? SELINA Batman.He was dreamy. PENGUIN Dreamy?!?Are you insane!?My God -- (sputtering wildly) Are you sure it was him?What did he do? SELINA He stood on a roof and watched me.He didn't realize I'd seen him.I don't think he knew quite what to make of me. (smiling) But he was definitely interested. PENGUIN This scheme of yours is backfiring.We don't need him on our tails.Do you know how much money is at stake here? SELINA Money isn't everything. (casually) What's the point if we can't enjoy ourselves? VICKI Six-on-one, and he took 'em all out...then vanished into a drainage pipe -- right next to the statue of General Wayne. BRUCE My illustrious great-grandfather.Think it's the same kid we heard about? VICKI Must be.He reminded me of you. NEW BAT-MURDER? Batman Suspect in Slaying of Millionaire Developer Commissioner Gordon Refuses Comment BRUCE -- You work for this rag? (snatching up a paper) Your boss is calling for Gordon's resignation -- unless he brings Batman in for questioning... THEIR POV - SOUVENIR SHOP BACK TO SCENE - ON BRUCE AND VICKI BRUCE I need a good PR man. NEWS VENDOR Hey, pal -- you buyin' or borrowin'? VICKI That's what happens when you go after the rich and powerful. BRUCE Hey, it wasn't me, remember?I am rich and powerful -- Looking for Love.Eyes widening, he digs in his pocket for a quarter and races back to the newsstand.VICKI keeps walking... VICKI Maybe it's almost...good.In a weird way. I mean, Shaw, and Barrett -- if people like that were really scared, maybe they'd -- VICKI (cont.) Hey, I'm late for work.You can read that later. BRUCE Quiet.I'm looking for a personal ad. BRUCE (cont.) "Tall, Dark And Handsome -- You saw me on the roof 12/16.I was in black; you were too." VICKI Is this some kind of bad joke? BRUCE It's her.That cat woman, or whatever she is. (reading aloud) "I jumped a bus into Gotham Park hoping you'd follow, but you were too shy..." VICKI What does she want -- a date? BRUCE She's trying to contact me.Says she's gonna leave me another ad... VICKI WHY DID YOU KILL MY STORY? PROVOST Close the door. (waiting for her to calm down) Your story isn't news.With Shaw dead -- VICKI But the project's still going ahead!If attacking homeless people in the park isn't news, I'd like to know what is -- PROVOST There's a psycho out there in a mask and cape -- killing off Gotham's most prominent citizens!That's news. (beat) I've known Randall Shaw all my life.His family is in mourning.And it just so happens I don't believe in slandering the dead. VICKI Mr. Provost -- how much money do you have tied up in the Park Tower project? PROVOST Vicki...I'm going to forget you made that remark.For the sake of your job, I suggest you do the same. -- and HIS FACE TURNS PALE as he stares down at the contents: a small business-sized card, signed with a BAT-EMBLEM... THOSE WHO FEED ON THE SOUL OF GOTHAM WILL SUFFER MY WRATH REPORTER I Mr. Barrett!Any comment on the arraignment? REPORTER II Is it true bail was set at two million dollars? ATTORNEY Stand back!My client has nothing to say at this time! As the car pulls out into traffic, we see a flock of PIGEONS taking wing from their perches on the statues outside the Hall of Justice. PIGEONS fill the frame, swooping down toward the CAR, which is idling at a traffic light far below. The liveried DRIVER drums his fingers as he waits for the light to change.BARRETT's in the back, speaking into his cellular phone. BARRETT It's time we called an emergency meeting of the Raven Society.Get back to me... DRIVER Just washed it, too. BARRETT and the DRIVER exchange a mystified look.A small, blinking CAPSULE has just lodged in the wiper-blade assembly... Just as the light changes, the CAR EXPLODES into a million fragments -- leaving a BLACKENED CRATER in the middle of the intersection. ALFRED The Fluegelheim called again, sir.They want to know if you'll be attending the opening of the new Egyptian exhibit. BRUCE Cancel. SEKOWSKY Jeez!Talk about gratitude -- !! BRUCE Well, Alfred, it's official.I'm a wanted man. (beat) "New evidence"...I've gotta find that woman.Did you check the personals? He throws a nervous look at ALFRED.ALFRED speaks into a microphone: ALFRED Who's there? GORDON Jim Gordon, Alfred.I've got to see Bruce. ALFRED Mr. Wayne will see you, sir. A curious BRUCE ushers GORDON into the library, gestures toward the liquor cabinet.The Commissioner nods his head no. He's fidgety, ill at ease -- he obviously doesn't want to be here. GORDON Sorry to bother you.Bruce -- I'll get right down to it.You knew Shaw and Barrett -- BRUCE I saw them occasionally.We all sat on the board of the Fluegelheim... GORDON Did you have any...dealings with them, or -- BRUCE No.I never liked the way they did business. GORDON The thing is, Bruce, you're all lumped together in the public mind -- the Five Families of Gotham, that sort of thing -- and, uh... (taking a card from his pocket) Harrison Provost got this in the mail. BRUCE Then Batman is behind all this. GORDON Batman or a damned good imitation. BRUCE Well.He's changed tactics, hasn't he. GORDON (shrugging; at a loss) Shaw, with his high-rises -- Barrett, a druglord, major polluter -- they weren't exactly model citizens.Who knows, it could be some crazy social-conscience kind of thing. BRUCE You mean he's going after...the root of the problem. GORDON Let me know if you get one of these. We'll put all our resources at your disposal. BRUCE Changed my mind, Alfred.I'll be dropping in on the Fluegelheim after all. VICKI What is it? BRUCE I just had a weird sense of deja vu. TIPTREE Harrison -- we really ought to warn Bruce. We owe him that much. BRUCE Good to see you two.Looks like the Five Families are suddenly down to three. (looking around) In fact, if somebody dropped a bomb on this room right now -- PROVOST Is that your idea of a joke, Bruce? BRUCE Not at all.Commissioner Gordon seems to think we should all be hiring bodyguards. TIPTREE PROVOST Oh, that's absurd.I already have. BRUCE Thing is, I can't imagine why Batman would be after us.Can you? SELINA You two look like you need a drink.-- And is this who I think it is? PROVOST Selina Kyle -- Bruce Wayne. SELINA Our absentee board member!I've been wanting to meet you forever. TIPTREE Selina's the new Curator of Antiquities. She brought the Temple over block by block -- SELINA You two won't be terribly upset if I borrow Bruce for a moment, will you? BRUCE I can't imagine why. SELINA Tax year's almost over, you know.I hope we can count on your usual generous donation. (indicating PROVOST and TIPTREE) Someone's got to set an example for those two tightwads. BRUCE They're proccupied.This string of murders -- SELINA I asked them if they'd consider including us in their wills. (chuckling to herself) They didn't seem a bit amused... She's making small talk with a bunch of STUFFED SHIRTS and their overdressed WIVES.She glances across the room at the statue of Bastet, sees SELINA draped all over BRUCE.A frown crosses her face... She's still clinging to his arm as they stare up at the statue. SELINA -- and this is my good friend Bastet, the Egyptian Cat Goddess. BRUCE I think we've already met.-- This is quite an expedition you've put together. SELINA I'm glad you think so.I have to say, Bruce -- you're not at all what I expected. BRUCE Sorry to disappoint you. SELINA Oh, it's not that.Not at all.It's just that I'd always heard you were... BRUCE What? SELINA (coyly) Oh...sort of a... BRUCE (smiling; fascinated) No.Come on.What? BRUCE Oh.Selina Kyle -- my friend Vicki Vale. SELINA The photographer.I've seen your pictures in the Gazette. VICKI The Globe. SELINA Oh, that's right.The tabloid one.-- What an original dress! BRUCE Selina supervised the reconstruction of the temple.Brought it back from Egypt... stone by stone. VICKI Really.She must be awfully tired. (to SELINA) How'd you get to be in charge of a huge project like this? SELINA It was easy.I slept with the Pharoah. SELINA (cont.) Excuse us, won't you, sweetheart?We have some boring museum business to talk about. SELINA (cont.) I.Short leash. BRUCE Pull in the claws, okay?She's really terrific. SELINA I'm sorry, Bruce.Sometimes I get a little...aggressive, you know? (handing him a card) Look, I need to talk to you.Come by sometime.I'll give you the private tour. BRUCE Wait.Let me explain about Vicki -- SELINA (shushing him) I understand.Anyone who's that protective must have a pretty good reason for it. VICKI How's "business"? BRUCE Relax, okay?I like you better. VICKI If you're looking for your fellow millionaires, they left some time back. PROVOST Don't worry about that.I've had the office swept for bugs.No one's listening... TIPTREE in his paneled study at home.There's an open bottle on the table and he's been hitting the sauce -- hard.His VOICE QUAVERS: TIPTREE It's just so -- unfair.I mean...it was over a century ago.It's not like we're responsible. (hollow-eyed) How could he know?How could Batman know about the Raven Society?? PROVOST Who knows and who cares.The point is, it's happened... PROVOST (cont.) I'm clearing out of the country, and I'm taking the raven with me.I suggest you do the same. In the metal shaft on the other side of the grate is a tiny BIRD -- the same one we saw flying down the air shaft.Now that we've got a close-up view, we can see the thin BATTERY PACK wired to its underbelly...and the MINIATURE MICROPHONE taped to its leg. PROVOST (O.S.) I'll tell you how to reach me.And don't repeat this to anyone. SELINA He's just another rich idiot. (chuckling to herself) The odd thing is, he didn't seem a bit concerned. PENGUIN Then he is an idiot. SELINA He lives in some big sprawling manor. I'll have to get inside, scope it out... see where he's got the raven stashed. PENGUIN How do you plan to do that? SELINA How do you think! FRICK It's Mr. Provost, sir.He's planning to embark on an unscheduled Christmas vacation. PENGUIN Good!That should save us a trip to the bank. BRUCE What have we got here? SELINA Mummified cats.Bastet's sacred animal. They were buried by the thousands at Bubastis.-- Oh, careful! SELINA (cont.) Canopic jars.In the process of mummification, the internal organs were buried separately. (pointing to each jar in turn) Lungs -- stomach -- liver -- intestine -- BRUCE You're in a gruesome line of work. SELINA Keeps me interested.And that's not easy to do... BRUCE This one I know.It's a gryphon, right? SELINA Very good.A mythical demon, half-bird, half-lion...sweeping down from the sky to deliver retribution and justice. BRUCE Poor guy.Birds and cats -- you wouldn't think the two halves would cooperate. SELINA Only under certain circumstances. (beat) I'm really glad you came, Bruce.I was afraid I'd given you the wrong impression. Or maybe it was the right impression. BRUCE What was it you wanted to talk to me about? SELINA Your collection.I'd love to see it.I mean, everyone says you've got a fabulous -- BRUCE (shrugging) No. SELINA It must be strange.Having all that power, and money -- never really knowing if that's what people are attracted to. BRUCE What are you attracted to? SELINA I think you're a little bit nuts. (beat) I think you're a little -- bored with your life.Having everything you want.No variety, no...danger.And every once in a while you need to take a risk.Shake it all up. BRUCE How? SELINA Maybe by...coming here today. SELINA (cont.) That's one thing I can give you, Bruce -- danger -- a little something you can't get at home. ...and he SNEEZES IN HER FACE.She backs off in shock as he covers his face.His eyes are watering and he's WHEEZING. She rushes over -- SELINA Are you okay? BRUCE Is there a cat in here? BRUCE Yeah, cats...ever since I was a kid... (snorting and weeping) Look, I'd better get some fresh air. Maybe another time, okay... LEAD GUARD No sir, Mr. Provost.We came straight from the bank vault. GUARD II 'Copter should be just touching down. We'll have you safely out of here in no time. "Here Comes Santa Claus" echoes up from the streets.BATMAN watches as a COPTER descends toward the HELIPAD on the roof of the Globe... PROVOST and the LEAD GUARD with the raven box are at an elevator bank.The other GUARDS head for a stairwell. GUARD II We'll check the stairs.See you on the roof. PROVOST No -- my private elevator.It's safer. shooting DOWN on the car as it rises.The shaft above it is filled with BIRDS -- starlings, crows, pigeons and the like, swooping and gliding among the gears and cables... In BG, the helicopter on its pad, idling noisily, the rotors still spinning.In FG, the small dormer-like structure that houses the STAIRWAY.The metal access door opens, and the first of the GUARDS steps warily out, rifle at the ready.He smiles back at his pal. GUARD No way.They don't pay us enough to tangle with Batm-- PROVOST What is it??What's happening?? GUARD There.See?It's moving.We're fine. PROVOST It's going down.We're going DOWN!!! The BIRDS in the shaft have all ROOSTED on the TOP OF THE CAR. They're patiently riding it down as it descends... The car stops again.PROVOST is totally losing it.The exasperated GUARD grabs him and SHAKES HIM. GUARD Okay, Mr. Provost -- I'm gonna have a look through the trap door.But I need you to help me.Okay?You have to help. GUARD Probably just some bird that's gotten in the shaft.Now calm down.You'll have to give me a boost. GUARD (cont.) Okay, help me out...steady... PROVOST W-who is this?? NEWSPAPER DELIVERY VANS are parked in neat rows -- all driverless.FRICK is sitting with a boxful of electrical equipment next to a bank of ELEVATORS; all the cars have been LOCKED OPEN here in the basement, except for ONE -- PROVOST's private elevator, the doors to which are still closed.The PENGUIN stands beside it, speaking into a RED PHONE. PENGUIN Mr. Provost?If you want to get out of that car alive, I suggest you follow my instructions to the letter. PENGUIN (cont.) SHUT UP IN THERE. (calmly; into phone) You should see a cord hanging just behind you. PROVOST looks over his shoulder and sees the aforementioned CORD descending through the trap door. PROVOST Yes -- yes, I see it -- PENGUIN Well, Mr. Provost, I guess you could call me an irate reader.And to be perfectly frank -- I'm doing this because I hate Garfield. PENGUIN Going down! CROWD Ten!Nine!... CROWD ...Three!Two!One! NEWS VENDOR Hey!No!I aleady got a -- The mutilated corpse of HARRISON PROVOST lands on the sidewalk with a THUD -- right beside a bundle of NEWSPAPERS which read "BATMAN MURDER SPREE BAFFLES POLICE." The NEWS VENDOR chases after the VAN, but it's already rounded a corner and is cruising along the periphery of Gotham Square. The CROWD is still singing merrily, unaware of its presence -- CATWOMAN (O.S.) Some people just can't take discipline. (beat) Go ahead.Finish 'em off... CATWOMAN (O.S.) You might as well.You're going to get blamed for it anyway. CATWOMAN (O.S.) Oh, come on, angel.You know you want to. (purring loudly) Besides -- I want to see how you do it! BATMAN Who are you? He catches her leg, upends her -- but she somersaults away and lands on her feet.Cats always do... CATWOMAN My, aren't we frisky tonight. CATWOMAN I should tell you -- I've got nine lives to play with -- and you've only got one... BATMAN ducks instinctively and the CATWOMAN breaks free -- FALLING BACKWARD onto the roof.It's a strategic move: when he rushes at her, she BRACES HERSELF against the ground and KICKS UPWARD with startling force. CATWOMAN Did I tell you I invited company?-- Keep 'em busy, angel, I've gotta scat. -- just as the DOOR gives way -- and an ARMED SWAT TEAM comes crashing out onto the roof! PENGUIN Look at that, boys -- they do flock together!! CATWOMAN Ooh.Where have you been all my life? CATWOMAN (O.S.) Nevermore.Nevermore! CATWOMAN Cute, huh!I think it'll look nice over the fireplace.Maybe you can drop by and see it sometime. (demurely) I hope you won't think I'm too... aggressive or anything, but I find you very attractive. CATWOMAN (cont.) It's just so hard to meet interesting men these days.Don't you think so? (sighing) I have trouble with relationships.Men find me intimidating...kind of predatory, you know?Really I'm not.Really I'm just playful... CATWOMAN (cont.) Don't laugh!I'm trying to open up to you! CATWOMAN Mice, really.It's disgusting -- they beg you to walk all over them and then they whine when you do it.Once you've had your fun there's not much you can do but kill them. (beat) But you seem different.I mean, you obviously understand about dressing up... that saves a lot of explaining.I think people should indulge their fantasies, don't you? CATWOMAN So I think I'll let you live.Cute boys like you are hard to find... (standing up) 'Bye, angel.I'll be thinking about you. The HOOK SNAGS somewhere on the roof.BATMAN yanks the line taut and is laboriously trying to pull himself erect when -- CATWOMAN Gee...I'm so fickle. DRIVER What the hell is this? TRAFFIC COP Awright, what's the problem here? (spotting BATMAN) Jesus. PATROLMAN Good God.Cowan -- get to the car -- radio the commissioner!! TRAFFIC COP Is he dead?What do we do? PATROLMAN The mask.Get the mask off. TRAFFIC COP Some kinda seam here on the neck... -- a BURST of FINE GREEN MIST spews forth from concealed JETS in the gold-and-black BAT-EMBLEM, and the COPS reel backward, shrieking, gasping for breath and clewing at their eyes. Booby-trap -- they've just been Maced. TRAFFIC COP DON'T SHOOT, you idiot.The crowd -- BULLOCK Hell of a mess up here, Commissioner. We'll have to go in on foot... Gaping, BULLOCK nudges his partner -- who throws the car immediately into REVERSE.As they watch, BATMAN kicks the horse's flanks and turns right -- toward Gotham Park. Two RED BERETS, members of the Order of the Bat, are on night patrol, strolling down a rambling path near the entrance to the park. RED BERET I This is wack, man.Nothing ever happens around here anymore. DICK NO.WAIT! The KID GIGGLES -- oddly, uncontrollably.Then he sprints off into the woods, dancing, leaping.As he disappears from view, he lets out a shrill, piercing, almost FERAL SHRIEK -- COP Dumb son of a bitch!! ALFRED Commissioner Gordon called.He wants to install a full contingent of police guards here at the manor -- in round-the-clock shifts -- to protect you from Batman. BRUCE Great.What'd you tell him? ALFRED I told him that since you were Batman, you'd require no protection from Batman. BRUCE Jesus, Alfred -- !! ALFRED In future, sir...I strongly advise against trying to fly off twenty-story buildings. BRUCE It's just a few bruises. ALFRED One bruise, sir.Which covers your entire body. BRUCE I'm getting too old for this line of work. (beat) Cops placed me at the scene of the crime -- that weird kid of Vicki's saw my face -- ALFRED I shouldn't worry overmuch.I doubt the two of you move in the same circles. BRUCE -- and I got the living shit knocked out of me by a woman. ALFRED Sir -- such outmoded sexist attitudes are quite unbecoming. In a lavishly-appointed guest room on Gotham's Upper East Side (or equivalent thereof), we find a pair of PLAINCLOTHES COPS settled in for a stakeout: rumpled topcoats thrown across antique chairs, french-fry bags and GREASY BURGER WRAPPINGS littering the carpet.HIGH-POWERED RIFLES propped against one wall. PLAINCLOTHESMAN Mailman's coming. The POSTMAN marches up the front steps of the brownstone, sorting through letters and packages.He hasn't even rung the bell when the door is opened by ANOTHER COP -- who snatches the mail delivery from his hands and SLAMS THE DOOR IN HIS FACE. MORE COPS, at least half a dozen, are milling about inside -- unshaven, ties loosened, shirtsleeves rolled up.They're in for the long haul. GORDON Anything suspicious! COP Nothing yet.Christmas cards and bills. BOMB-DISPOSAL EXPERT (V.O.) Commissioner -- ? GORDON enters.The bomb-disposal boys have their equipment scattered all over the kitchen table.They've slit the brown- paper wrapping of the PACKAGE, exposing a ROUND DECORATIVE TIN. BOMB-DISPOSAL EXPERT It's a fruitcake. GORDON ...Have it analyzed. A bleary-eyed ELLIOTT TIPTREE marches down the stairs carrying a pair of OVERSIZED SUITCASES.His WIFE and TWO KIDS are behind him -- all bundled up, preparing to embark on an extended vacation. POLICEMAN Mrs. Tiptree?The car's here. LITTLE GIRL I don't wanna go to Grandma's.I wanna stay here with Daddy. MRS. TIPTREE She's got a nice tree just like ours, honey.Daddy'll be up as soon as he can. LITTLE GIRL She's old.She doesn't even have cable. LITTLE BOY What about our presents? TIPTREE Don't worry.I'll bring 'em up with me. We'll open 'em when I get there. GORDON Sorry, folks, but we'd better move along. MRS. TIPTREE Kids?Tell your Daddy goodbye... TIPTREE They'll be safe, won't they? GORDON As safe as we can make 'em. (beat; sternly) It would help if you could give us some small hint what this is all about. TIPTREE I told you.I... GORDON You have no idea what was in that box that Provost had delivered from the bank. GORDON (cont.) All right, Mr. Tiptree.Merry Christmas. ...until a PHONE RINGS.Everyone jumps at once.A TECHNICIAN hits a switch on a loudspeaker-and-tape-recorder assembly, then gestures for TIPTREE to pick up the receiver... TIPTREE Hello...? VOICE ON LOUDSPEAKER Mr. Tiptree?Andy here.Listen -- we've got a chance to grab a good-sized block of Atlantic Teledyne at twenty-six and an eighth -- TIPTREE Not today, Andy.Let's talk after New Year's. IF POLICE SEE THIS YOUR FAMILY IS DEAD BATMAN SOUGHT IN PUBLISHER'S MURDER Bat Attack Panics Gotham Square J. Harrison Provost, 41, Leaves Distinguished Legacy He hears a VISITOR arriving in the entry hall.He gets up... BRUCE ambles out and sees SELINA, who's just arrived, doing her patetented thing on ALFRED. SELINA English accents are so stimulating. (beat) You have the most beautiful silver hair! SELINA (cont.) Bruce! BRUCE Selina.What are you doing here? SELINA I wanted to see your things, remember? And I got tired of waiting for you to call me back. (gesturing toward ALFRED) He's adorable.How long have you had him? BRUCE leads SELINA down a hallway to the armory.He glances back over his shoulder and sees ALFRED peering snoopily around the corner. BRUCE You heard about Harry Provost. SELINA It's incredibly awful.It got me a little worried. (sidling up closer) I hate to think of something happening to you. BRUCE Same here. SELINA It's odd, though.Danger, the thought of suddenly dying -- in a weird way it gets you sort of...aroused.Don't you think? SELINA Bruce, this is incredible. (indicating a suit of armor) Malaysian -- ? BRUCE Not bad.Sarawak warrior caste. SELINA It's like -- everything in here is another little piece of your mind.I was right about you. (turning to face him) Promise, okay?Promise you'll show me every inch of this place. PAGE 87 MISSING FROM HARD COPY ALFRED The police have no files whatsoever on Selina Kyle. BRUCE (abstractedly) London...Cairo...Belgium... ALFRED What exactly are you -- BRUCE Her credit card records. (looking up) Every major art theft in the last five years -- she's been on the scene or close to it. ALFRED You mean she's some sort of -- collector? A...cat burglar, or -- BRUCE Could be.Museum curator, authenticator -- she's got the perfect cover for it. (beat) What would she want with that stupid raven? ALFRED Raven, sir? BRUCE That's what the Catwoman took from Provost.A little raven statuette, about so big... (shaking his head) But it couldn't have been that valuable. ALFRED How very odd. (long pause) I'm sure it's nothing, but -- BRUCE What, Alfred? ALFRED Your father had a raven, sir.A small statue of the very sort you describe.It used to sit on his desk. BRUCE What happened to it? ALFRED After your father's...demise, Mr. Tiptree came to the house and asked if he could have it.As a keepsake.I saw no harm... (shrugging) That was thirty years ago. BRUCE Wait a minute.Mr. Tiptree? ALFRED George Tiptree.Your friend Elliott's father. BRUCE What are you looking for -- Batarangs? TIPTREE Bruce!Come on up. (to the COPS) I want to talk to Mr. Wayne alone. BRUCE I brought you a Christmas present.Sorry about the wrapping -- the police made me open it. TIPTREE ...I'm afraid I don't have anything for you. BRUCE I think you may have something that belonged to my father. TIPTREE -- You know? TIPTREE (cont.) It'll all be over tomorrow.One way or another, it'll all be over. (looking up; despondent) I've decided, Bruce.I'm gonna give him the last two ravens.He's already got the others. BRUCE What are you talking about?Who? TIPTREE Batman.I don't know how he found out, but -- BRUCE It's time you told me what's going on here. TIPTREE Didn't you ever wonder where it came from, Bruce?All the privilege, all the power ...all the money? (beat) The ravens are a...a kind of map, Bruce. The key to an incredibly vast fortune. BRUCE Whose fortune? TIPTREE Gotham City's. The cobblestone streets of 19th-Century Gotham.A massive EXPLOSION blows open one wall of a municipal building, and total CHAOS erupts: fires starting, BYSTANDERS screaming, POLICE rushing to the scene... TIPTREE In 1880 the Gotham City Treasury was looted.It was a fantastic operation -- perfect military precision.The robbers made off with milllons in gold and silver bullion... FLASHBACK - PROCESSED FOOTAGE (MOS) TIPTREE (V.O.) The city was going under.Bankrupt... until five rich men stepped in to bail it out.In exchange they took the land rights, the mineral rights, the service contracts -- BRUCE The Five Families. TIPTREE Our ancestors.They bought Gotham City -- carved it up and ran it into the ground. In five years they were rich beyond imagining. (pause) We've just been following in their footsteps.And in all this time no one's ever suspected -- BRUCE -- that they were the ones behind the robbery? The FIVE PATRIARCHS in front of a roaring fireplace at Wayne Manor, raising a celebratory toast.CAMERA PANS OVER to a nearby table; on it rest FIVE RAVEN STATUETTES. TIPTREE (O.S.) They had five ravens made.Five ravens which -- combined -- would reveal the location of the treasure they'd stolen. (beat) But they never touched it.They never needed to.It's still there to this day. TIPTREE The ravens, and the secret -- have been passed down through generations.Father to son... (shaking his head) Your father -- died before he could tell you. BRUCE So they stole his piece of the puzzle. TIPTREE Yeah.I've got it, Bruce, and I'm going to hand it over.He's right, you know. We've all been feeding -- feeding on the soul of Gotham... BRUCE (cont.) I don't believe you, Elliott.My father was a decent man -- an honorable man.He would never have taken part in a scheme like this. TIPTREE It wasn't his doing, Bruce.It was -- BRUCE That doesn't matter.If he knew that his fortune was based on a crime -- a crime against the city... (violently) Reputation or not, he would've tried to -- TIPTREE Christ, Bruce!Do you want me to spell it out for you?!? TIPTREE (cont.) He was a decent man.He was an honorable man.That's why they had him killed. TIPTREE They killed him...to protect their secret ...and now the bill's come due.Now the bill's come due. VICKI I feel so awful for him, Alfred.There must be something we can do. ALFRED I realized long ago -- that there are places in Mr. Wayne's heart which no one will ever penetrate --or share. (pause) He loves you, Miss Vale.But in certain ways he will always be alone. BRUCE (O.S.) ...Thanks for the testimonial. BRUCE Tiptree's planning some kind of rendezvous with 'Batman.'I think Batman ought to be there when it happens. ALFRED I see, sir.When shall we expect you back? BRUCE Get your cap.You're driving. It's late, and the house is dark as TIPTREE treeds silently downstairs carrying an OVERSIZED SUITCASE.The lights are on in the kitchen, where the COPS are playing poker and watching TV. CHRISTMAS TREE LIGHTS twinkle in the darkness.TIPTREE kneels beside the tree and digs around among the packages.He pulls out an OBLONG GIFT BOX with a tag addressed "TO DADDY -- FROM SANTA." STAKEOUT COP I Shit -- that's Tiptree!! COP Mr. Tiptree!What the hell are you -- BRUCE According to this, he's directly below us. ALFRED The subway, sir? BRUCE Yeah.Take a right. It's slightly more crowded here in the hub of Gotham.TIPTREE emerges onto the platform and spies a squad of TRANSIT COPS thirty or forty feet away -- speaking into WALKIE-TALKIES as they scan the crowd. MYNAH FOLLOW ME.AWWWKK!FOLLOW ME. MYNAH (O.S.) FOLLOW ME.AWWWKK! BRUCE He's slowed down.Looks like he's under the park. ALFRED How do you propose to get down there, sir? We can't have Batman strolling up to buy a token. BRUCE I know another way in. (beat) Step on it.They're down there waiting for him. MYNAH AWWRRK!FOLLOW ME. VOICE STOP THERE. TIPTREE I've cooperated.I've done everything you said. PENGUIN Open the case. TIPTREE The other one is Bruce Wayne's. (trembling) He doesn't know anything about this. You've got what you want.There's no need to -- PENGUIN Thank you, Mr. Tiptree.You may go. TIPTREE My family.You won't -- PENGUIN We'll certainly take your unexpected generosity into consideration. TIPTREE We -- ?!? (shielding his eyes) You're not Batman. PENGUIN No.I'm his brother-in-law -- Birdman. Now move out. TIPTREE marches slowly down the tracks, TOWARD CAMERA, silhouetted in the flashlight beam.The beam SHIFTS SLIGHTLY as the Penguin moves toward the suitcase and sets the light down -- CATWOMAN That idiot.Another six feet -- PENGUIN So sorry to spoil your fun.-- He brought two ravens.We've got a complete set! CATWOMAN What?? PENGUIN Yeah!They're in the suitcase -- CATWOMAN GIVE ME A HAND! ...and when it does, they see DICK -- the boy vigilante -- standing on the inner track directly across from them. HOLDING THE SUITCASE.The kid takes off like a shot.The CATWOMAN and the PENGUIN exchange quick looks of utter disbelief -- and BOLT AFTER DICK. The bulky suitcase is slowing his progress.He looks back over his shoulder; although the stubby-legged PENGUIN has fallen well behind, the CATWOMAN is gaining fast. PAGE 101 MISSING FROM HARD COPY CATWOMAN God.Did you see him? Isn't he hot? PENGUIN Haven't you got anything else to think about? (mopping sweat from his brow) I'm hot.That was exhausting. CATWOMAN No pain, no gain!-- Suck it up.We're not out of here yet. As they vanish into the darkness, the CAMERA TRACKS back -- past DICK, who lies unconscious on the tracks, bleeding heavily from his shoulder wound -- DEEPER INTO THE MAZE OF TUNNELS -- He limps over and KNEELS at the boy's side -- cradling his head protectively, staring helplessly into the blackness all around him... PENGUIN I don't know.That's all...! PENGUIN (cont.) We've been TRICKED!It's a HOAX!It's a -- The city model is TREMBLING slightly.As he watches, the DOME of the miniature CITY HALL -- in the dead center of the model city -- POPS OFF on a hinge.A METAL STRONGBOX rises into view... The CATWOMAN, FRICK and FRACK stare down at the little metal box.The PENGUIN is already clambering atop the plexiglass case of the model, SMASHING AT IT with his umbrella, trying to get at the box. FRICK That's the treasure? CATWOMAN No.It's a map... PENGUIN Bruce Wayne.So he doesn't know a thing about the treasure, eh...? (handing her the map) Look at this.It's right under Wayne Manor.It's been there all along! VICKI No, no -- don't try to get up -- you're hurt. VICKI (cont.) It's all right.You're safe.You can stay here as long as you need to. DICK I don't belong here.You can't keep me here. VICKI It's "Dick", isn't it?Or do you prefer "Richard"? VICKI "R" -- for Richard, right?See, all your things are here... (staring at the costume) What is it, some kind of gymnast's outfit? DICK It's none of your business.What is this, some kind of home? VICKI No, not that kind.There's a swimming pool -- tennis court -- you can have anything you want. DICK Tennis court?!-- Lady, you're rich.How the hell would you know what I want? DICK I'm not staying.You can't make me -- BRUCE I can make you. BRUCE (cont.) Come on.Wanna go at it? (no response) Look, kid -- like it or not, you're my guest -- and long as you're here you might as well enjoy it. BRUCE I don't know, Alfred.I've got other stuff to worry about. ALFRED The child is hurt, sir.At the very least we should attempt to locate his parents. BRUCE He hasn't got any parents. ALFRED How do you know that, sir? BRUCE ...I know. ALFRED Sir -- it's Miss Kyle. SELINA Well!Tall, dark and handsome.Are we still on for tonight? ALFRED Is this necessary, sir?After all...it is Christmas eve. BRUCE Stuff'll knock out a moose, much less a cat. ALFRED I don't like to see you going out on a date...unprotected, sir. BRUCE She'll be ready for Batman -- but not for me. (turning to go) It's the only way, Alfred.I've got to take her out tonight. DICK watches from the front parlor as VICKI meets BRUCE at the bottom of the stairs.The two of them exchange a few brief words; he embraces her, strokes her hair gently -- then glumly sets his jaw and moves off toward the front door. SELINA You're early.I'm afraid I'm not quite dressed. BRUCE Christmas eve.No tree? SELINA No presents.I've been a bad girl this year. BRUCE I'm surprised you kept this date.I thought you would've lost interest by now. SELINA What makes you say that? BRUCE You've got what you want, don't you? SELINA I do now. (smiling) We've had this date for a long, long time. BRUCE How much is it going to cost me? SELINA What? BRUCE ...To get the ravens back. SELINA You're the oddest man I've ever met. (moving in on him) Let's talk later, Bruce.I've got kind of a short fuse... HIS HAND reaches into his jacket pocket.He withdraws a tiny GLASSINE CAPSULE.But before he can use it -- Now she SHUSHES him -- reaches over to the tiny wound and massages it gently with one hand. SELINA Did I hurt you?Just relax -- you'll start to enjoy it. SELINA (cont.) Bruce, you look faint.It must be the cats. SELINA's cat, HECATE, strolls across his prostrate form -- purring and stretching... A worm's-eye view -- SELINA looms over him with a predatory smile on her face, shifting in and out of focus. BRUCE What di-- what did you d-- SELINA I guess I've...gotten under your skin. His hand goes to the BITE on his neck -- and he realizes SELINA's lipstick is spiked with a fast-acting PARALYTIC DRUG. He writhes helplessly on the carpet, his whole body gradually going slack. DISSOLVE TO: A COUNTY SHERIFF'S CAR cruises past the manor, right on schedule. ALFRED on the telephone, checking in with the County Sheriff's boys. ALFRED Everything's fine, thank you.We'll talk in an hour. PENGUIN Try his mag card. FRICK Look at this.He's a pillhead. VICKI What did you do to him?? SELINA First-time jitters, I guess.Everything was going great, and then...he just went limp as a noodle. Drawn by the commotion, ALFRED rushes down the stairs to the entry hall, pulling a robe around him.He freezes in his tracks when he sees FRICK dragging VICKI into the front parlor, holding a gun to her head. PENGUIN You'd be the butler.Why don't you come on down and attend to your guests? ALFRED Mr. Wayne.Is he -- ? PENGUIN You know how it is.Some guys just can't hold their egg nog. The PENGUIN marches ALFRED in where the rest of the gang's already assembled.FRICK throws VICKI down roughly on a sofa just next to the Christmas tree while the GOONS drag BRUCE inside. PENGUIN I should explain the occasion of our visit.There's a treasure underneath this house -- and I don't plan to leave until you tell me how to find it.Now who's going to talk -- Miss Vale? VICKI I don't know what you're talking about. PENGUIN The cave.Under the house.How do I get there? VICKI (cont.) I don't know!I swear, I would tell you -- PENGUIN (turning to ALFRED) Then maybe you'd like to tell me. ALFRED You're no more than a common thief. PENGUIN Wrong, you old idiot.I happen to be a very uncommon thief. (beat) Are you going to tell me, or does Miss Vale get an early present this year? ALFRED I...don't...know... PENGUIN Then go ahead, Mr. Frick...decorate the tree. SELINA Wait! (crossing over to VICKI) We don't know how to get down there yet. We may need her when Bruce wakes up. SELINA (cont.) Besides -- I want this one for myself.So pretty...I'm going to give her a brand new face for Christmas. PENGUIN Why don't you two tie up our host? PENGUIN It's all so plush and tasteful, isn't it? Just the sort of setting in which I've always imagined myself. PENGUIN (cont.) I see.You think I'm vulgar.You think I'm...nouveau. ALFRED I think you're a dirty little man with a -- PENGUIN See, boys, that's old money talking. After a while, they actually start to believe they've earned all this. (smirking) I don't mind.Someday I'll be old money too -- when the statute of limitations runs out. SELINA (O.S.) Hey!-- Guess what I just found. SELINA (cont.) Christmas cookies! PENGUIN Let's spread out and see what we can find. (to FRICK and FRACK) You two -- keep an eye on our friends here.Give me a yell the minute Wayne comes to. -- and in a quick CLOSEUP we see his EYES OPEN -- his hands STRUGGLING against his bonds. QUICK GLIMPSES of the intruders enacting their depredations as they search for the entrance to the cave.SELINA and the PENGUIN are flinging open doors, moving clocks, looking for secret panels; as they go, they systematically TEAR THE HOUSE APART -- smashing BRUCE's possessions, ripping paintings out of frames, etc. FRICK Better check it out. FRICK (cont.) What is it?What's going on?? FRACK Some kind of security system -- DICK's gotten BRUCE free -- but BRUCE, still under the effects of the drug, isn't much use.He tries to get off the sofa and crumples in a heap. DICK Can you move, man? BRUCE Library -- got to get me to the library -- PENGUIN What is that ungodly racket? FRACK A security alarm.It went off in the kitchen. PENGUIN My God!Is someone in here? BRUCE Alfred... DICK I'll go back. BRUCE I can't...get down there...without you. PENGUIN What an extraordinarily stupid thing to do. VICKI SHUT UP.Help me with him. PENGUIN You and I had better check the ground floor and see what's going on.Mr. Frick -- do you think you'll be able to manage this pair? FRICK Yes sir. PENGUIN Oh, good.That does relieve my mind -- BRUCE -- as soon as he gets to the East wing. Wait for my signal.You know what to do. ALFRED Thank you, Master Dick.And...bravo. VICKI has made it to the wall phone.She can't seem to get a dial tone -- VOICE FROM BEHIND Do you really think we're that stupid? SELINA (cont.) I tawt I taw a puddy tat...!! SELINA You know, I've got a great recipe for Sliced Bitch -- VICKI sweeps her arm across the countertop, showering SELINA with knives and appliances.It buys her enough time to make for the door -- but SELINA comes flying after her.Another downswipe with the claws -- but VICKI shoves a BUTCHER'S BLOCK into SELINA's path, and her TALONS wedge a half-inch deep in the wood. SELINA I love a good old-fashioned catfight -- but this is pissing me off. SELINA HERE, kitty kitty kitty...HERE, kitty kitty... SELINA So this is where you earn your keep. SELINA Not so loud, honey!The neighbors'll get the wrong idea. (laughing) Santa's coming.Time for all good girls to go to sleep... -- as a BLACK-GLOVED HAND grabs a fistful of her hair -- BATMAN Miss me, "Angel"? SELINA Okay -- let's do it, huh?You and me... all the way this time. She gets to her feet, limping, and darts around a corner. BATMAN marches implacably down the stairs, taking his time... VICKI rushes out of the bedroom.She looks down the hall and sees FRACK flying out of the guest room, UPSIDE DOWN -- slamming into the wall opposite.He slumps to the carpet, out cold. VICKI Come on.We'll be safe in the cave. BATMAN PAUSES outside the door to the armory, which is slightly ajar.He pushes it in cautiously... VICKI Come on.Come with us. DICK No.I can still help... The PENGUIN flattens against the wall as DICK sprints out of the library and heads off in the opposite direction.There's a flabbergasted look on his face -- he recognizes this kid. PENGUIN Such primitive entertainment. PENGUIN The Gotham City Treasury.It's about to be stolen twice. ALFRED Don't be absurd. You'll never be able to get it out of here. PENGUIN Oh, I'll manage somehow.You two are my guarantee of that. (nudging VICKI with the gun) Let's have a look, shall we?You go first. BATMAN It's over.I don't want to hurt you any more. SELINA Tell me something -- one thing.If you don't enjoy all this...why do you do it? SELINA (cont.) I'll never understand men. CATWOMAN I can't move.I can't move. CATWOMAN (cont.) DON'T LOOK AT ME!! (pleading) Do me, baby...do me now...that's what I want.Please? BATMAN No. CATWOMAN COME ON.Don't stop now.FINISH ME OFF. (almost weeping with pain) Son of a bitch.You're all alike... He reaches for his belt, extracts a GLASSINE CAPSULE, and breaks it open with his thumb.He drops it amid the shattered glass around her face.A tiny cloud of GREEN GAS plumes out, and her hand falls limply at her side as she lapses into unconsciousness. DICK You should've done it, man.You should've killed her. BATMAN There's a radio in the cave.We'll send for help. The PENGUIN and VICKI are on a catwalk just below the ROCK FORMATION.A STONE OUTCROPPING extends toward the catwalk, and he forces her to JUMP FOR IT.Now he has to follow; the prospect makes him nervous, but it's a short hop, and he clears it okay -- finding his footing on the rocky slope. PENGUIN Ah, the illustrious Mr. Wayne.Look at you now.Whatever would your friends say? (smiling) You've been an exceptionally congenial host -- but I must ask you to back off. CLOSEUP - BATMAN'S HAND ANGLE ON ROCKS - PENGUIN AND VICKI PENGUIN No sudden moves.It's a long way down. HIS POV - INSIDE THE GROTTO BATMAN VICKI! With BATS screaming all around her, VICKI takes a deep breath and VAULTS toward the CATWALK.She's a foot short; she grabs hold of the railing and HANGS THERE, over the ABYSS, trying to pull herself up.BATMAN races toward her -- GORDON ...and then Batman showed up? BRUCE He saved all our lives, Jim.I can't say for sure, but I'd bet she's the one behind the murders. GORDON God -- I pray you're right. (beat) One thing before we go, Bruce.Who's the kid? BRUCE Oh, that's Vicki's little cousin.He's in town for the holidays. GORDON Well, he picked a hell of a time to visit. (turning to go) Merry Christmas, Bruce.Good luck cleaning this place up. VICKI What are you going to do with all that gold? BRUCE I dunno.Might be a good start on a place to live -- for some people who don't have one. VICKI It's Christmas. BRUCE Yeah.Maybe you should -- open your present. VICKI Oh, Bruce, presents doesn't matter.None of it matters.We're all safe.We're together. BRUCE ...You might as well.