dark house is a 2014 horror film directed by victor salva and starring tobin bell , lesley-anne down and luke kleintank .

the film follows a man named nick di santo , who discovers that not only is his long-lost father alive , but that he may be able to explain the source of his son 's telekinetic abilities .

dark house ( 2014 film )

victor salva ' s horror film involves a young man with clairvoyant powers who inherits a mysterious country house .
we will spoil the movie ,
dark house
, which was first released as
haunted house
in 2014 . we have 3 big twists , a couple of red herrings , some pretty good acting from luke kleintank and the always creepy tobias bell ( of saw fame ) . the movie runs at 103 minutes long .
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dark voice :
now draw the house . little round window above the door . good . . .
dark house is a movie starring jeffrey combs , meghan ory , and diane salinger . a troupe of actors hired for a haunted house attraction soon find that they are working in a true house of horror .
a sampling of recent movies that received one star or less from washington post film critics .
no religious artifacts and / or texts were damaged or destroyed during the making of this film .
playing like a virtual compendium of horror film cliches , dark house represents a regression for director victor salva , who helmed the far superior jeepers creepers . this tale about a young man possessing mysterious gifts who discovers that he’s inherited a decrepit old house throws a bit of everything into its ungainly mix , including the presence of horror film icon tobin bell ( the saw films ) . but the overstuffed film is definitely less than the sum of its admittedly occasionally scary parts .
tags alex mckenna anthony rey perez dark house ethan s . smith haunted lacey anzelc lesley - anne down luke kleintank tobin bell victor salva zack ward
the generic title is not even the most unimaginative element of this overstuffed , cliche - ridden horror film . twitter
salva certainly gets points for creative repurposing . much of what transpires in “dark house” has been seen before , just not all in the same movie .
culture crypt looks at a few fantasia film festival features shaping up to be hot topics among horror fans in 2018 .
the bodies are either that of axemen or cute dark haired men with axes buried in them .
“dark house” is rated r ( under 17 requires accompanying parent or adult guardian ) . heads are split , hearts are harvested , and a fetus is terrorized .
the only real issue with the film is the second act drags a bit . if the time could have been taken to tweek and trim it just a bit , the film would have been much tighter . hopefully this film ends up being a success for salva since it seems as if he has been trying forever to get his final entry into the jeepers creepers series off the ground .
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before even watching this film for review , i knew it had a built in controversy . viewers may or may not know about director victor salva’s past criminal history . while i do not condone salva’s criminal history in any way , shape or form , i prefer to keep his personal life separate from his film work . while i may not like the man , there’s no denying his talent as a filmmaker . one of my favorite films of the 2000’s was his exceptional jeepers creepers . his latest offering is dark house , but unfortunately it can’t hold a candle to his 2001 hit . the film’s writers seemed to be grasping at straws on what type of film they want it to be . is it a haunted house thriller , a demonic possession flick , angels vs . demons , or what ?
dark house is a thrilling and horrifying road trip , full of twists and brutal surprises ; a suspenseful thriller about a young man and a chilling old house that has survived decades , awaiting the return of its prodigal son . . . a house that can escalate nick ' s gift to see death before it happens , but holds within its walls the origins of a dark family legacy so horrible it may have already reached out to nick ' s unborn child .
the house at the center of the horror film “ dark house ” is not just poorly illuminated — aren’t they always ? — but also ill conceived . according to the wildly improbable screenplay , the ramshackle southern plantation home around which this tale of demonic real estate revolves was swept off its foundation 23 years ago by a flood that deposited it , intact , several miles away . we’re talking brick front steps and all .
as i said earlier , victor salva is an accomplished filmmaker . dark house is shot amazingly well and looks gorgeous . the film has potential with some creepy moments here and there but whatever tension builds up is eventually diluted by asinine character actions ( lets have sex in the woods when we’re fighting for our lives with evil axmen running around ) .
review : i’ve never been much of a victor salva fan . i enjoyed the first jeepers creepers but couldn’t make my way through the sequel . his film rosewood lane was horrible but i was shocked to find his latest outing dark house to be a solidly entertaining and creepy little film . he takes a cast of relative unknowns , with the exception of genre veterans tobin bell and zack ward , then delivers a tightly wound tale with several twists , colorful characters , and an axe wielding mob of angry ghosts .
review : zak bagans’ demon house ( a scary , unbelievable documenta . . .
an earlier version of a headline with this review misstated the surname of the film’s director . as the review correctly notes , he is victor salva , not salvo .
“the housemaid” is an elegantly eerie thriller with the grand gothic style of “dark shadows” before barnabas collins became the star of the show .
the old dark house’s singularity is ( or should be ) part of its appeal . a few years ago i showed it to students at the huston school of film in galway , fulling expecting them to hate it . only one had even heard of it , never mind seen the thing , but they laughed in all the right places and seemed properly unnerved by its creepier moments . enjoy the film in full here . interestingly , having fallen into copyright hell , it is not officially owned by anybody . so , this post is legal and everything .
they ' ve returned . . . or perhaps the house has been following then .
seth commands the axemen to wait for his signal to go back to the house .
the acting is above average ; all the principals do a good job . undoubtedly , tobin bell can do no wrong , he stands out in his role and does his best with the character , but for this film it’s too little too late . there isn’t an inordinate amount of gore in the film but there are a few key scenes with some interesting bloodshed .
lilith stays with eve up on ledge with car . boys go to explore look for house .
the house should have been pulverized . they find the house almost totally intact . . . apparently it slammed into a huge tree , which saved it , furniture , silverware , and all .
the front entrance ' s double doors slowly creak open as they head near the house . they all stop in their tracks . a voice booms out of house telling them to go away .
on the other side of the frontyard come a motley crew of young cute strapping men with all sorts of weapons , gingham shirts , and dark hair .
michael o ' sullivan has covered the arts for the washington post since 1993 , contributing reviews and features on film , fine art , theater and other forms of entertainment to style and weekend . follow
by the time “dark house” reaches its midpoint , nick has collected a pregnant girlfriend , a concerned buddy , a trio of helpful land surveyors , and the deed to that mysterious old house mentioned earlier . en route to uncovering the secrets of said house , nick and company encounter a crimp - haired tobin bell , a gaggle of ax - tossing golems , and end up in a parallel reality where all roads lead back to the mansion no matter what .
is there a better horror film than the old dark house ? yes , there probably is . ranking films in such fashion is , of course , a mug’s game . also , you might reasonably argue that james whale’s extraordinary 1932 entertainment isn’t really a horror movie at all . there is nothing of the supernatural about it . the picture leans towards camp mania as much as it does towards the ghost story . there’s really nothing much like it in the canon .
the film works best during the first and third acts . the characters are introduced in an interesting fashion and we don’t have to wait too long to get into the weirdness . the final act gives us a satisfying conclusion and the final twist was really imaginative . the cast is believable and it’s always a pleasure to see guys like ward or bell pop up . the film is light on gore but a few moments do arise and may surprise you . the axe wielding maniacs hop along , crouched low to the ground , and hurl their axes . pretty creepy design and my favorite idea in the film .
seth slowly walks back into the house , and after a long pause , allows nicky alone in .
the noise of axemen running and impending doom freezes . there are no axemen inside the house yet .
you might argue that , in film history , the old dark house doesn’t lead anywhere . it has precedents in comic horrors such as the cat and the canary , but us spookery went somewhere less challenging after the shocks of tod browning and edward g ulmer . the wolfman and dracula ended up becoming part of a franchise family that has echoes in the current marvel universe . the coupling of sexual unpleasantness with horror wasn’t much welcome in hollwood once the hays code came in .
“saw” icon tobin bell enters odd danny trejo territory with his too brief appearance in “dark house . ” despite top billing and a co - producer credit to boot , bell appears in what is still an important role , albeit one that is only onscreen for three relatively short scenes .
the film goes on , dredging up even more cliches about biblical , shape - shifting demons , paranormal progeny and the numerological significance of the number 23 . that number also is featured prominently in salva’s “jeepers creepers” films .
uh oh . . . something dark and dusty is moving in the fire place . nicky , by himself , candle in hand , walks along a hallway , tapping his foot , listening . he hears different thud . he finds himself near the tree at the corner of the house .
“dark house” spins a web with so many intriguingly bizarre threads that it is almost impossible not to smile while marveling at the inventiveness of its amalgamated ideas and wondering how in the world all of these things will tie together . with so much for the imagination to chew on , it feels like “dark house” is leading towards something cleverer than what it ultimately delivers . so when the hump between lead - in and climax drags the momentum through a tar pit , it affords more time to recognize that most of the toys in the sandbox end up buried at the bottom , unused and unnecessary .
“dark house” cruises effectively for a considerable amount of time on the strength of a strange mystery that steadily increases its intoxicating weirdness by piling on elements of haunted house suspense , angel versus demon mythology , and ax - wielding maniac mayhem . then once all of the cards have been dealt , the hand plays out as a round of flat action that tastes disappointingly stale in light of how many potent ingredients were in the mix .
two other diner patrons join in the conversation . one introduces the house rumor : the house was called
wormwood
. it was despised by residents of the town , who were seriously spooked by it . then , more 20 years ago , a massive flood washed away the town with the house , but the house landed somewhere - - intact . the other , black haired white male diner snorts and doubts the rumor ' s authenticity while furtively keeping his eyes on his companion .
we find nicky on a road trip with ryo and eve on a quest to find the house from his childhood art .
meanwhile , surveyors and other people alike stare dumbfounded straight , realizing the creepy house is in front of them , again .
they all walk towards the house as eve complains about having to wait for the axemen to come back and kill them .
there ' s a very special man trapped in house that understands what your life was like . talk to him .
a young woman , claire , who witnessed a massacre as a child goes back to the house in which it happens as part of a troupe of actors auditioning for roles within a haunted house attraction . as both new arrivals and old cast soon begin disappearing one - by - one , claire is left wondering if the house really hunted or is there a killer amongst them .
dark house formerly known as haunted is a mishmash of horror tropes , some of which work and some don’t . there’s a lot going on in the film and much to sort out . the mystery surrounding nick’s father is unclear . he’s an evil force that seems to live in the basement of the house yet controls his evil doers by talking to them from inside walls via heating vents in other places . then we have seth’s axmen with a different agenda , maybe good – maybe evil . why are they like a hunchback chorus line slinging axes all over the place ? is this a demon vs . angel standoff ? ultimately , there are more questions than answers in the finale leaving viewers scratching their heads .
seth ( tobin bell with long , stringy dirty hair , and a rick owens outfit ) comes out of the creepy house .
now all axemen pop up in formation in front of the house , barricading the entrance with their bodies . they hunch down .
eve ( on the phone ) :
. . . never going to find the house . i destroyed the deed .
a paranormal expert discovers a house that is at the intersection of so - called
highways
transporting souls in the afterlife .
it is a mild letdown since “dark house” initially appears to be creating a fresh and fun original story out of tired tropes and well - worn plot devices . after it becomes clear that the mystery merely builds to an average good battling evil theme , the movie rushes to make pieces fit and whatever doesn’t is left by the wayside .
by next sunny golden morning , eve and ryo rush back to the house , and are stunned by the carnage in the yard .
ryo goes with lilith to go back to nicky ' s abandoned car to salvage some warm clothes . it is dark , and . . . romantic ( ? ) ? ? they glance at each other , and then start kissing passionately , stripping off clothes , and having sex . they don ' t notice the axemen suddenly appear around the house .
the movie falls just a pinch short from being great since there are several moments which drag on for far too long . salva grabs a few ideas from past genre films and mashes them together in a film which is almost always entertaining and might just give you a few goosebumps .
the friends are huddled near the cellar door ( coincidentally at the end of the hallway , with front door of house at other end ) .
i really wanted to like dark house more than i did . it had an interesting look and feel to it with potential for success , but the writing doesn’t make it over the hump of mediocrity . with an ending that left more questions than answers , it ultimately falls flat and doesn’t work . genre die - hards may find this worth a watch but mainstreamers probably won’t .
“dark house” stands flapping in the wind with asides regarding numerology , foretold prophecies , and nick’s “dead zone” ability that kicked off the whole story ending up in effect as inessential distractions . and when the script is backed into a corner with something it doesn’t know how to handle , it lobs a hail mary pass that more often than not sticks out like a throbbing red thumb .
) , lilith ( with dark short hair , pale skin , lacey anzelc ) , and lastly , sam ( red haired pudgy guy , reminiscent of jonah hill , played by ethan s . smith ) , who they almost hit .
lucky later appears alongside a stalled car on the road , causing chris to swerve and to crash into a tree at the bottom of the embankment . everyone then discovers that they have mysteriously returned to the old house . with sundown approaching , the group decides to spend the night in the house .
short synopsis : a real estate agent finds himself trapped in a haunted house with a mysterious squatter and must learn to conquer his fear to escape .
this film proved to me that he still has a passion for the genre and he deserves to tell that final story . he has found the perfect writing partner in charles agron . this is his first foray and it seems like the two of them really worked well with one another . you couldn’t ask for a better picture from the blu - ray though it lacks special features . it does include a short behind the scenes feature which is something . dark house may not be perfect but it’s far better than most dtv features as of late . this is a return to form for victor salva and i hope to see this streak continue . * * * 1 \ 2 ( out of 5 )
when nick di santo learns that his father is not only alive but can possibly reveal the origin of his son ' s dark gift , he sets out on a trip that takes him to an abandoned mansion he thought . . . see more »
synopsis : when nick di santo learns that his father is not only alive but can possibly reveal the origin of his son’s dark gift , he sets out on a trip that takes him to an abandoned mansion he thought only existed in his childhood imagination .
when nick di santo learns that his father is not only alive but can possibly reveal the origin of his son ' s dark gift , he sets out on a trip that takes him to an abandoned mansion he thought only existed in his childhood imagination .
nicky , by himself , is confronted by lucky , the cute black haired diner from before , who tells him to stop running . it does not matter where nicky runs . the house will follow him . in back of him , the house looms up , and the windows alight with a warm , cheery light .
nick di santo has the gift to see how any person that he touches will dies . he visits his mother lilian that is in an asylum since when he was eight years old and learns that his father is alive . nick lives with his best friend ryan and one day he meets eve in a bar and he finds that he can touch her without any vision . eve moves to nick ' s apartment and soon she is pregnant . out of the blue , nick inherits an old house and he shows to ryan and eve that he used to draw that house since he was a child . they travel to the countryside but they do not find the manor . they decide to return home and they meet chris mcculluch , lilith and sam that are measuring the area . they show the location of the house where nick meets the strange seth . they are hunted down by creepy creatures with axes but they flee . they decide to leave the place but the road leads them back to the mysterious house . what is the secret of the dark house and the creepy creatures ?
just before halloween , three young brothers alone in a big house are menaced by three escaped mental patients who have murdered some traveling circus clowns and taken their identities .
four years later – eve raises her son as a single mother . meanwhile , the little boy is instructed to draw the old house by a voice in the walls .
nick di santo has the gift to see how any person that he touches will dies . he visits his mother lilian that is in an asylum since when he was eight years old and learns that his father is alive . nick lives with his best friend ryan and one day he meets eve in a bar and he finds that he can touch her without any vision . eve moves to nick ' s apartment and soon she is pregnant . out of the blue , nick inherits an old house and he shows to ryan and eve that he used to draw that house since he was a child . they travel to the countryside but they do not find the manor . they decide to return home and they meet chris mcculluch , lilith and sam that are measuring the area . they show the location of the house where nick meets the strange seth . they are hunted down by creepy creatures with axes but they flee . they decide to leave the place but the road leads them back to the mysterious house . what is the secret of the dark house and the creepy creatures ? written by claudio carvalho , rio de janeiro , brazil
the film does , however , draw a distinction — one of degree — between the comic horror we can see downstairs and something more wretched lurking upstairs . in a masterstroke of unheimlich , whale casts a woman , elspeth dudgeon , as the 102 - year old sir roderick femm , who knows something awful about another , unseen member of the family .
nicky unwillingly leaves house with questions in his mind and finally notices the axemen . terror ! nick + gang all start running , axemen start lurching with clubfoot . . . .
after exploring and reminiscing and matching memories or flashback imaginations to inside of house , nicky touches a huge drapery against wall and drapery suddenly shakes briefly as if something is behind it .
he along with his friend ryan ( anthony rey perez ) and the now pregnant eve head out on a road trip to see the house and maybe nick can learn something about his father . once they arrive in the small town , they learn the house was washed away in a flood years ago . but there is a legend which says the house was hit by the flood and moved deep into woods . the three of them are determined to find it but what lies in wait for them when they get there will change their lives forever .
suddenly ryo ( friend ) outside tells nicky that his time is up - - it ' s time to go . but seth angrily pins him to wall and tells him for years he has tried to destroy the house . the house was washed away by the
god
flood , and the tree growing through wall has been used for lynching . . . horrible stuff .
seth very adamant in telling them to go away . then nicky chimes with the fact that he has the deed to the house , and wants to know what happened to its previous occupants .
mere minutes into “dark house , ” it becomes depressingly clear that the deficit of imagination displayed by the title will not be made up for by the content . ( one wonders why the makers even bothered to replace the original name , “haunted . ” ) grabbing off - the - rack ideas — the creepy - crumbly mansion in the woods , the “deliverance” - style locals , the troubled young man with the weird psychic power — the director , victor salva , stuffs them into a plot of resounding silliness .
saucy lady tells other diners to stop spreading stories but nicky insists on knowing more so the black haired diner points to map on wall signaling that should be the approximate area house washed away to .
nick takes ryan and eve with him as he goes in search of the mansion to learn the truth about his father and his ability . nick discovers that the house was located in a town called river’s end , but the town washed away in a flood . a local named lucky tells nick that legend says the house known as “wormwood” could not be destroyed and only washed away to another location .
featuring heavy doses of gore supplanted by ear - piercing , sudden loud noises to ratchet up the tension , the visually cluttered dark house - - its unimaginative title representing a slight improvement over its even more unimaginative original title , haunted - - fails to weave its numerous plot strands into a coherent whole . and while bell infuses his stringy - haired character with his characteristic creepy flair , it’s not hard to imagine that the actor , who also co - produced , is merely biding his time until the saw franchise is inevitably resurrected .
haunted is a movie starring luke kleintank , alex mckenna , and anthony rey . when nick di santo learns that his father is not only alive but can possibly reveal the origin of his son ' s dark gift , he sets out on a trip that takes him to an abandoned mansion he thought only existed in his childhood imagination .
throw in some ominous biblical prophecies , a discourse on the cosmic significance of the number 23 ( a theme previously explored in the 2007 jim carrey film the number 23 ) , and some nasty twists involving several supporting characters who turn out to be not quite who they seem , and it soon becomes obvious that the screenplay co - written by salva and charles agron has bitten off far more than it can comfortably chew .
they stop at roadside diner , and meet a middle aged , saucy diner attender lady ( she ' s in tv series bones as marjorie , and turns out nicky also played a recurring role as an intern anthropologist in bones ! ) . nicky recognizes a large dusty gray / scale photo of the house in question in the center of a densely decorated wall . he asks the attender lady how to find the house .
the tree ' s branches cut into house so they can grow . this , mind you , is the tree from which people were lynched . nicky reaches out to touch the tree , and bam ! another hand from within grabs his .
the surveyors invite themselves into nicky ' s quest for his house , and they drive up to the approximate area , a raised road , of which both sides severely slope downwards and are densely filled with fall trees . it is a beautiful golden afternoon .
chris , the surveyor :
shut up guys !
while eve has a mini tantrum , and refuses , with good reason ,
there ' s no way i ' m staying here
. nick agrees with chris to stay in the house .
provided that person is destined to die in horribly violent fashion , nick has the ability to touch someone and see how s / he will meet the reaper . the origin behind his blessing / curse involves a father he never knew , an insane mother who speaks to a voice in the walls , and a dark mansion in the woods that literally fell off the map when a flood wiped out a small town .
it turns out the house is still standing in the middle of nowhere , having been washed intact several miles into the isolated woods . the trio soon discovers the house is occupied by a grizzled , long - haired lunatic named seth ( tobin bell - saw franchise ) with unknown intentions . alarmingly , seth commands an army of axmen who shuffle crouched down side to side in unison like nightmarish gorillas . in trying to find answers about his father , nick and friends find themselves in a supernatural nightmare they might not make it out of…alive .
naturally , the house is guarded by a menacing caretaker , seth ( bell ) , who attempts to warn them away . it isn’t long before violent mayhem ensues , with the young interlopers pursued by seth’s gang of ax - wielding troglodytes whose awkward gait makes them resemble escaped gorillas .
back on the road , nick , ryan , and eve come across a trio of land surveyors named chris mcculloch , lilith , and sam . the surveyors help nick search for wormwood . while lilith waits behind with eve , the four men go into the woods to find the house .
nick , ryan , and chris return to the women and everyone escapes in the surveyors’ van . they drive back into town , but find it strangely deserted . as if in a parallel reality , lucky can see nick and the others searching for help outside the diner . lucky then tells a voice in the walls that he will lead nick back to the house .
at one point , nick and company are run off the road by one of the “ deliverance ” - style locals , played by screenwriter agron . when nick proposes that they spend the night in a house so inhospitable it makes “the amityville horror” look like “downton abbey , ” eve inadvertently asks a telling question : “how am i the only one that thinks this is a bad idea ? ”
chris , the surveyor man and nicky find the cellar , with its heavy , old door . they must pull it in jerks to open it . with the first pull - - all of a sudden , axemen are strung down from the trees in the forest / frontyard . pull - - the axemen ' s feet suddenly touch ground . pull - - axes thud the ground . ryo is still outside at the porch , oblivious , bat in hand . every time the cellar door is pulled a little more open , the axemen army makes an unnerving step forward to the house . with one more great pull , the cellar door is finally thrown half open , and the axemen start their run . ryo finally notices , and narrowly gets away into the house , yelling
axemen everywhere !
laughton is one of several dissolute young people — all affected by the first world war , we feel — who , on an appallingly rainy night , end up sheltering at the house of the horrible femme family . the first person they meet is karloff as a towering , grunting butler named morgan . “even welsh oughtn’t to sound like that , ” one of the party says upon hearing his efforts at speech .
in one instance , once everyone is lost in the forest , trapped in an old house , and surrounded by murderous men brandishing tree - chopping blades , naturally no one’s cell phone works . except when one of the characters needs a bit of background exposition about the unfolding drama . then he is suddenly able to google a few convenient references for plot - advancing purposes , even though making a phone call is still a no - go .
eight months later – nick meets with judge maxwell bing , who appears to be communicating with someone through a grate in the wall before nick arrives . bing goes over the details of molly’s will and nick learns that he inherited an old mansion . nick shows a photo of the mansion to ryan and to eve , who is now pregnant with nick’s unborn child . nick tells them that it is the same house he had drawn all throughout childhood , but never knew actually existed .
the men meet seth , the house’s mysterious resident . seth tries to warn the men away from the property while referring to sam as samael , but ultimately allows nick inside . as seth gives nick more cryptic warnings , a group of long - haired axmen in trenchcoats surround the men waiting outside . ryan calls for nick and the four men then flee through the forest with the axmen in pursuit . a thrown ax hits sam and seth then puts his own ax blade into sam’s skull .
nicky opens files and recognizes a photo of a house complete with little round window above the door , that he has been drawing for his whole life , starting from when he was a child , and through his waning dreams as an architect . he decides to find it to answer his questions . from the folder given to him by bing , he has the deed to it and he wants to visit it to find out what happened to people in it , and perhaps find a link to his unknown father .
informed by the family lawyer ( max gail of barney miller fame ) that he’s inherited an old house in the country that he’s somehow managed to be able to draw since childhood without ever actually seeing it , nick sets off with his best friend , ryan ( anthony ray perez ) , and his very pregnant girlfriend , eve ( alex mckenna ) , to investigate its whereabouts . not dissuaded by some hayseed types who inform them that it was washed away in a torrential flood years earlier , the trio soon discover it , although not without nearly running down some friendly land surveyors along the way .
lilith reveals herself as a demon to eve , but seth arrives to kill lilith before she can harm eve or the baby . nick confronts chris and learns that chris is part of the same league of demons to which nick’s father belonged , as are lucky and the townspeople . as his father’s half - human and half - demon offspring , nick’s destiny is to release his father’s trapped soul from the house using the blood of 23 beating hearts . seth and the axmen are actually the opposing force of angels in a battle of good versus evil . the townspeople arrive and engage in a bloody fight with the axmen
later nicky visits the attorney mayor bing who hands him the contents of his mother’s will in the form of a stack of papers wrapped in a folder . oddly , there is no other present for the reading . behind his desk , the attorney , bing tells him there ' s no one else in the room as his mother indicated in the will that only nicky alone was to see the will’s contents . nicky looks at stack of papers wrapped in folder . just then , bing appears behind him and shows him the way out . as he exits out , mayor waits until nicky is out of earshot and then turns to vent and tells him nicky will find the house .
the central character is nick ( luke kleintank ) , who on his 23rd birthday visits his mother ( lesley - anne down ) , who’s been in a mental institution since he was a child . nick’s ability to foresee how a person will die is signified by his vision of her dying in a fire , a prophecy that almost immediately becomes reality when the loony bin goes up in flames .
cast : luke kleintank , anthony rey perez , alex mckenna , lesley - anne down , tobin bell , zack ward , lacey anzelc , ethan s . smith , max gail
about which the less said the better , so i will merely remark that the aforementioned young man ( luke kleintank ) , his heavily pregnant girlfriend ( alex mckenna ) and a few interchangeable sidekicks head into those woods and a showdown both biblical and bonkers . voices leak from heating ducts , bodies hang from a tree , and a three - legged dog makes a pointless appearance . none of which is as unintentionally amusing as the army of ax - wielding henchmen who advance in unison in a sideways crouch , like a chorus line of cave men from a mel brooks musical .
for mr . salva , this is a long way down from “jeepers creepers , ” his respectable little 2001 frightener elevated by genuinely spooky moments and some semblance of logic . here , instead of terror , we have vapid leads and supporting players who pause to have sex while surrounded by homicidal demons . sadly , the only thing audiences are likely to find horrific is the acting . or the possibility that any of these people might make another movie .
opens on friday in manhattan and los angeles . directed by victor salva 1 hour 43 minutes
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i thought you might be interested in this item at urltoken title : new york times ( 1 publisher : new york : new york times . isbn / issn : 0362 - 4331 oclc : 746941922
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lakeith stanfield and his sorry to bother you crew reveal their most soul - crushing jobs in our freewheeling interview .
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when radio talk show psychiatrist , dr . sonny blake , moves back to her hometown , she takes notice of her neighborhood paper boy ' s unusual behavior .
an attorney decides to take a trip with his father to their isolated family cabin to talk things out but their ensuing family argument is suddenly interrupted by two escaped convicts .
as children , rheanna and annette are happy . however , after an evening of ghost stories and games with their friend tara , what started as innocent fun soon turns into a nightmare . rheanna , . . . see full summary »
two men , both hiding a deadly secret , are on a murderous rampage through the desert .
a woman returns home to her estranged family after a near - fatal accident , but begins to suspect something is not right .
set a few days after the original , a championship basketball team ' s bus is attacked by the creeper , the winged , flesh - eating terror , on the last day of his 23 - day feeding frenzy .
jake is given a monkey ' s paw that grants 3 wishes . after the first 2 wishes leave his friend cobb undead , cobb pushes jake to make a final wish .
an heyoka incarnates into a small , rural community in iowa and turns the town upside down .
luke kleintank and patricia belcher appeared together on the tv show
bones .
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chase williamson teams up with lauren ashley carter and matt mercer in horror thriller , artik .
invisible woman , mr . fantastic , the thing , & human torch by artgerm
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it’s nick di santo’s ( luke kleintank ) twenty third birthday and he’s making a special trip to see his mother who he hasn’t seen in years . she was committed years ago to spend her time in a mental institution . nick feels it’s time to learn something about his father but she is too far gone to offer him any answers which may make sense .
later that night he meets eve ( alex mckenna ) and the two quickly fall in love . nick has a gift ( or curse ) and can vividly see how someone will die if they have a violent death just by touching them . he’s afraid to touch the ones he loves because he doesn’t want to know . after his mother dies in a mysterious fire at the hospital , he inherits an old mansion out in the middle of nowhere .
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starring : luke kleintank , alex mckenna , anthony rey perez , zack ward , lacey anzelc , ethan s . smith , lesley - anne down and tobin bell
i am a horror journalist , producer , ravenous horror fiend , aficionado of the classic universal monsters , hammer horror , werewolves , and all things horror .
real annabelle doll to be moved tonight . watch it live ! . . .
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studio : new video group director : victor salva writer : charles agron , victor salva producer : charles agron , don e . fauntleroy , victor salva stars : luke kleintank , anthony rey perez , alex mckenna , zack ward , lacey anzelc , ethan s . smith , max gail , lesley - anne down , tobin bell
born with an ability to see how people will die , nick investigates a haunted family home that holds the truth about his mysterious power .
on his 23rd birthday , nick di santo is summoned to the mental hospital where his estranged mother molly is committed . nick touches his mother and has a vision of her dying violently in a fire . molly tells her son that she promised the “things in the wall” that she would tell nick the truth about his father , but nick leaves before hearing her out .
nick goes to a bar with his best friend ryan . there , nick meets a girl named eve and later takes her home . it is also revealed that nick can see a vision of how a person will die by touching him / her , provided that person is destined to die violently . on a news broadcast later that night , nick learns of a fire at the asylum that takes the life of his mother .
as strange events continue occurring throughout the night , a mob of axmen surrounds the group . nick and the others come to realize that the axmen become animated whenever they try to open a mysterious door to the basement .
after fleeing from the axmen , nick and ryan find sam’s body in the forest , but they see that his flesh was hiding a demon underneath . ryan recalls seth referring to sam as samael . using his phone to look up the reference , ryan discovers that samael is a demon’s name and so is lilith , who is said to go after unborn children .
the next morning , ryan and eve confront nick , who has accepted his true heritage . nick tears out ryan’s heart . realizing that nick intends to kill her and the baby as the final two sacrifices , eve flees in a panic . eve blacks out , but later awakens in a hospital to learn that she gave birth to a baby boy and that it was seth who saved her .
although he relies a little heavily on watery saucer eyes to convey his tortured good guy persona , luke kleintank and the rest of the cast are more than game for delivering solid performances that are actually better than some of the material they have to work with . director victor salva and his co - writer charles agron were on their way towards tapping into classic horror inspirations for a seemingly unique spin on familiar territory . and they still manage to create a fair share of tense atmosphere and entertaining set pieces . but the final direction loses its focus before buckling under the weight of characters , concepts , and side plots that do more to weigh down the core story than they do to enhance it .


bloody bloody bible camp is a 2012 american horror-comedy/splatter film .

the film was directed by vito trabucco and produced by reggie bannister , who stars as father richard cummings .

the film also features tim sullivan as a transvestite nun and porn legend ron jeremy as jesus .

bloody bloody bible camp

there are no critic reviews yet for bloody bloody bible camp . keep checking rotten tomatoes for updates !
with a name like bloody bloody bible camp , i wasnt sure what i was getting in to .
there are no featured audience reviews yet . click the link below to see what others say about bloody bloody bible camp !
is the primary antagonist of the parody slasher film
bloody bloody bible camp .
he / she is portrayed by tim sullivan .
urltoken bloody bloody bible camp : reggie bannister , tim sullivan , ron jeremy , david c . hayes , vito trabucco : movies & tv
there have been a lot of attempts to recreate 80s horror cheese , and it usually sucks . bloody bloody bible camp gets it right .
bloody bloody bible camp is a slasher horror comedy with emphasis on slapstick . it’s a movie where the only way to possibly enjoy it is to detach your brain completely .
at the time , i didn ' t know that
bloody bloody bible camp
was going to be another comedic - horror homage movie - - especially since i never watched a trailer or read a review . i knew i wanted to see the movie and that ' s all i needed . so i was a bit nervous at the beginning of
bloody bloody bible camp
as i was afraid it would become too stupid . i was having flash backs of
hobo with a shotgun
and
isle of the damned
. and , sadly ,
bloody bloody bible camp
does get fairly stupid . too stupid sometimes .
a series of murders happen one night in 1977 at a bible camp . seven years later a group of bible humpers return to the site for a new camp only to reawaken the killer .
nicht witzig , nicht gruselig , nicht spannend , nicht unterhaltsam . bloody bloody bible camp ist ein amateur - splatter film der wirklich gar nichts kann . nicht mal die größtenteils handgemachten sfx sehen ansatzweise gut aus . wirklich ärgerlich .
set in 1984 ,
bloody bloody bible camp
has father cummings ( reggie bannister ) taking his out - of - control flock of horny teenagers to the happy day bible camp . unaware that 7 years ago , a maniac named sister mary chopper slaughtered the last group of horny - teenaged campers that were there . the local rednecks try to warn father cummings about the danger of taking kids to the camp that now carries the nickname bloody bloody bible camp . ignoring them , as people usually do , the group continues on their trek to the camp , and sure enough , sister marry chopper returns with a special eulogy planned for each one .
bloody bloody bible camp – aka sin – is a 2012 american comedy slasher horror film directed by vito trabucco ( psycho a go - go ; never open the door ; slices ) from a screenplay co - written with shelby mcintyre .
in 1984 , another group of teenagers turn up , led by father richard cummings , at the now dubbed ‘bloody bloody bible camp’ . ignoring warnings from the locals , it is not long before sister mary chopper goes on a killing spree again…
plot : in 1977 , everyone at the happy day bible camp was slaughtered by a masked maniac named sister mary chopper . 7 years later , father cummings is taking a new group of kids up to the camp , unaware of its bloody past , in order for them to get in touch with god and hopefully forget their sexual urges . as usual , the past has a way of repeating itself and sister mary chopper pays the camp a visit to help everyone have a close encounter with the lord . will anyone survive bloody bloody bible camp ?
in 1977 , a group of young people are massacred at the happy day bible camp by demented sister mary chopper .
in 1977 a group of young people are massacred at the hands of sister mary chopper at the happy day bible camp . a few years later when another group of teenagers turn up , led by father richard cummings , at the now dubbed ' bloody bloody bible camp ' , they ignore warnings from the locals and it is not long before sister mary chopper goes on a killing spree again .
the movie opens in the 1970s at the happy day bible camp . with a name like that the warning signs where all there as a group of horny teens end up dead at the hands of the uber - violent , sister mary chopper . the opening 10 minutes of bloody bloody bible camp are so over the top that you’d have to be dead to not at least get a laugh out it .
starring reggie bannister from the phantasm series and ron jeremy as jesus christ . available on dvd here urltoken available on itunes , amazon instant and google play click here to view on itunes urltoken the new bloody bloody bible camp just the way the director vito trabucco wanted it ! ! enjoy ! !
once they arrive at the camp , they spend the majority of the time doing regular bible camp things , while sister mary chopper is seen talking to herself , praying , and talking to dolls .
bloody bloody bible camp invoked nostalgic memories of genre classics . bbbc didnt do it better than these predecessors , nor did it bring a lot of new material to the table , but it is still a fairly enjoyable way to spend 90 minutes . if youre easily offended – or put off by blatant blasphemy – steer clear . however , if you have a twisted sense of humor and a deep - seated nostalgia for the slasher films of the 70s and 80s , bloody bloody bible camp is worth a look . dont expect to be amazed , or anything more than amused and you may just enjoy it .
i didn ' t enjoy
bloody bloody bible camp
as much as i thought i would but that was probably due to the fact that i watched this movie alone and wasn ' t prepared for how silly the movie actually was . with that said , i can only imagine how much fun this movie is in a theater setting ( an opportunity i missed , sadly ) or with a group of inebriated friends . one thing i ' m sure about though , i had more fun watching
bloody bloody bible camp
than i did having a road - rage moment and honking at a car full of nuns .
a bloody trip back to 80s horror ( in more ways than one . . . )
made by horror fans for horror fans , bloody bloody bible camp tells the story of a group of horny bible campers led by the equally horny father cummings ( played by reggie [ bannister ] ) who are picked off one by one by sister mary chopper… that would be me . in a flashback , we learn that the good sister was actually once an altar boy who was told by evil nun gigi bannister he was meant to be a woman .
a group of christian teens visit the happy day bible camp , where in 1977 an earlier group of teens were punished for their sinful behavior by a sadistic nun .
the acting is fine . its far from oscar - worthy , but thats not what bloody bloody bible camp was aspires to . the cast succeeds at providing performances on par with the films it draws its inspiration from like sleepaway camp or cheerleader camp . working in the films favor was the casting of reggie bannister as father richard cummings . bannisters performance was just the right amount of over - the - top and his role perfectly satirized the moronic ideals of many of the gay hating , holier - than - though fundamentalist groups . it was also mildly amusing to see ron jeremy , cast against type , as jesus .
the camp’s been closed since the previous murders , but father richard ( bannister ) is taking a new group of kids up to the camp for some good old bible - stuff . actually , it really doesn’t matter why they’re going up there and the film realises this and just doesn’t bother mentioning it , apart from a weirdly inserted game of “bible bowl trivia” which doubles as a theological discussion .
in 1977 a group of young , horny , out of control christians are spending a fun filled weekend at the happy day bible camp . their impure antics rile up a sadistic crazy nun known as ,
sister mary chopper
. one by one these youthful sinners pay a bloody penance for their sinful acts . 7 years later , another group of bible totin ' christian wannabes return to the happy day bible camp . all ignore the warnings from the local folk of the grizzly murders that took place 7 years prior . is sister mary chopper dead or is she just waiting for backsliding christians to commit sins of the unholy ?
in 1977 a group of young , horny , out of control christians are spending a fun filled weekend at the happy day bible camp . their impure antics rile up a sadistic crazy nun known as ,
sister mary chopper
. one by one these youthful sinners pay a bloody penance for their sinful acts . 7 years later , another group of bible totin ' christian wannabes return to the happy day bible camp . all ignore the warnings from the local folk of the grizzly murders that took place 7 years prior . is sister mary chopper dead or is she just waiting for backsliding christians to commit sins of the unholy ? . . .
with a name like bloody bloody bible camp you know its gonna offend everyone , push the limits on breaking taboos , and ( hopefully ) be extremely blasphemous . add to this the fact that it stars exploitation director tim sullivan ( who recently directed 2001 maniacs : field of screams ; see my review here ) and you have the formula for a crazy , fun and bizarre flick ! ! sullivan recently spoke with urltoken and this is what he had to say :
in 1977 a group of young , horny , out of control christians are spending a fun filled weekend at the happy day bible camp . their impure antics rile up a sadistic , crazy nun known as
sister mary chopper .
one by one these youthful sinners pay a bloody penance for their sinful acts . seven years later , another group of bible - toting christian wannabes return to the happy day bible camp . all of them ignore the warnings from the local folk regarding the grisly murders that took place those seven years ago . is sister mary chopper dead , or is she just waiting for backsliding christians to commit sins of the unholy ?
director chris staviski is set to release the indie , horror feature pain is beautiful . the release will take place exclusively through the film’s official website . the film deals with a bodily disorder , called cipa . this disorder prevents william from feeling any sensations , at all . he tries to understand pain and pleasure through tortuous experiments . and , pain is beautiful stars ivet corvea ( bloody bloody bible camp ) , tim sullivan ( 2001 maniacs ) and elissa dowling ( black … continue reading → urltoken
bloody bloody bible camp might be the most offensive movie ever made . . . for christians . as a christian myself , i had a hard time with some of the sacrilegious elements in this movie , but i do have an open mind . so i was able to push my beliefs aside and enjoy the slasher and comedy elements that this movie had in store . this is a fast - paced and fun ride that delivers everything a good slasher needs to . and in many parts of the film , it had a real friday the 13th feel to it . the setting , the murders , and even some of the music really paid good homage to the friday the 13th series . and this thing is full of gore . there are several murders in the first ten minutes alone ! and there is also nudity . so bloody bloody bible camp might offend many people , but if you are open minded i say give it a watch . it ' s a lot of fun , in spite of itself .
our thoughts : unlike
girls gone dead
,
bloody bloody bible camp
is a title that i ' ve been looking forward to from when i first heard about it . a lot of which has to do with the fact that marcus koch was in charge of the special effects but also because there are a lot of good folks from the independent / low - budget circles involved in the movie . just look at the imdb page ! go on , go look . i ' ll wait…
as we start in the year 1977 a group of christians are spending a weekend at happy day bible camp . very sleazy drug addict christians i might add . all of this sin brings about a crazy nun named sister mary chopper (
i’m definitely seeing this one–you just put bible camp in the title and i relive my childhood horrors–some of those folks could have been in this flick ! i love exploitation . it’ s the time you can offend everyone and it’s expected .
a bowling night will turn into a bloody death match for a team of teenagers , as a deranged serial killer is taking them down one by one .
a block - headed comedy horror with religious overtones , bloody bloody bible camp is as silly and cheesy as it sounds . i always find that the presence of a ron jeremy cameo guarantees that a film will be really bad , and so it proves here ; to my surprise he plays jesus in this film , which may be the most imaginative that the movie gets . otherwise it ' s an inept , troma - style trash flick , complete with cheap fx , voyeurism , lots of cheese , wooden acting , and phantasm ' s reggie bannister as a priest .
it’s all about the bible bowl trivia contest anyway , at least until sister mary chopper returns for a new round of gory violence .
“this should satisfy its intended audience . it’s an 80s slasher throwback comedy - homage to friday the 13th and sleepaway camp , with a couple of extra buckets of blood and lots of extremely inappropriate catholic - bible - sex jokes . ” the worldwide celluloi d massacre
as grindhouse 80s slashers goofs go , this one ' s available on amzn prm . since it ' s the weekend ( woo - hoo ! ) , i won ' t complain about the anachronisms and over use of period identifiers , so i ' ll complain about ron jeremy . he isn ' t the killer in this ( sorry spoiler ? since he did not appear until 80 minutes mark , i wrote a bitching as in bitchin ' write up all gone to waste complain ' about it ) , is top billed and portrays jesus ( as in bible camp jesus ) and he is the worse . i ' m pretty sure gen xers are to blame about jeremy ' s continual appearance in anything , and along w / adam sandler ' s film career , hey . . . digressions are the worse so let ' s get back to bloody bloody bible camp . …
ron jeremy as jesus ; a transvestite nun serial killer ; and reggie ( phantasm films ) bannister producing and starring as well ? ? sign me the f * * k on to see this one ! ! this one sounds like a lot of fun . and though i felt there were a lot of problems with sullivan’s field of screams it was still one helluva fun movie . if sullivan brings half the energy and fun to his role in bloody bloody bible camp that he brought to his field of screams , well this will be one for the books ! ! sullivan then goes on to describe the plot :
trashy , ill - mannered comedy / slasher / homage set in 1984 at a bible camp where horny chumps are chopped up by a masked psycho dressed as a nun . poo jokes , boner gags , rubber gore , nudity , reggie bannister and no sense . fun if your drunk .
a deranged masked santa - slayer comes to town for some yuletide - terror . he leaves behind a bloody trail of mutilated bodies as he hunts his way to the front steps of the town ' s most feared and notorious home .
i was reluctant to watch this thinking it would be just another tired thrown together b horror flick but i was very surprised to find a funny well paced camp filled , old school slasher throwback with lot ' s of personality . the characters were fun and the acting well done for this type of film , it has some of everything most of us love in an old school slasher , nudity , gory kills , although very over the top still effective for this type of movie . nothing now will ever compare to a ' real retro slasher ' but this was pretty close . i say it ' s along the same lines as ( don ' t go in the woods alone ) and ( drive in massacre ) as far as the effects . it ' s a great addition to the slasher / comedy genre . it has a lot of gay references but it ' s very gay friendly , it has flatulence explosions , cross dressing nuns and a lot more , do yourself a favor get twisted and watch bloody bloody bible camp .
bloody bloody bible camp
certainly isn ' a movie to watch if you ' re looking for a genuine old - skool slasher to get skeered to , but as a movie to watch with friends for a few laughs , you can ' t go wrong . entertainment is the topic of this blasphemous fueled sermon . even when sister mary chopper shows up to kill off sexed up clergy and teenagers and reminds you that you are in fact watching a horror - ish movie , it still manages to be fun . marcus koch ' s signature shockingly detailed gory effects are in full display ( how much blood and guts poor out of an axe wound to the gut is just fucking cool ) but some how are as funny as the actual jokes . probably the comical over - the - top nature of the death scenes and comical sound effects that go with them .
ahead of its release next month , maltauro entertainment and baumont entertainment have debuted a poster and trailer for never open the door , writer - director vito trabucco ’s ( bloody bloody bible camp ) homage to the twisted and otherworldly tales of the twilight zone , the outer limits and alfred hitchcock presents . check them out here… three happy couples retreat to a cozy secluded cabin in the woods to enjoy thanksgiving . a badly wounded stranger appears at the door , and when they let him in , he throws up blood and collapses on the floor . as he dies , he points towards the lovers and croaks his final words : “never open the door” . the dumbfounded group of friends start to panic as one of their own inexplicably disappears . doubt rises by the minute and mistrust soaks through the cabin . as strange men surround the cabin , escape becomes paramount . who will open the door ? never open the
through a series of flashbacks , it is revealed that eugene ' s mother gave him up for adoption because she wanted a girl , and he was a boy . at the orphanage , he was raised by nuns who were overly strict regarding the rules in the bible . their abuse caused him to develop a second , female personality who was a fanatic . this personality became dominant and took the bible verse
the wages of sin are death
literally , and traveled to a nearby summer camp and was horrified at the various sins ( alcohol consumption , fornication , etc . ) that he / she witnessed , and murdered all but two of the campers .
chris staviski ' s pain is beautiful is now available on dvd . the film is a character focused feature . and , william ( staviski ) is a man struggling with cipa . this body disorder prevents william from feeling anything in his body . he acts out painful experiments on others , to see how people feel . as well , this title is now available as of january 20th , 2015 . the film stars ivet corvea ( bloody bloody bible camp ) , tim sullivan ( 2001 maniacs ) and elissa dowling ( black dahlia ) . all of the available release details are hosted here . the official dvd artwork for the film is hosted here . the graphic shows william with a circular saw , one of the character ' s favourite torture devices . also , the tagline :
how far would you go to feel . . . anything ?
shows how william is unable to feel anything for others . his inability to feel leads to pain for everyone around him . also , the film ' s official trailer is hosted below .
we told you about the new flick featuring kane hodder , alice d , back in september ; and right now we have the first official trailer for you . check it out , and look for more on this one as soon as we get it ! alice d is an independent film written and directed by jessica sonneborn and produced by kristina page and christopher d . maltauro , with cinematography by eric latek . alice d will be attending afm so we should have more news for you soon ! it stars kane hodder ( friday the 13th ) , al snow ( wwe wrestler ) , josh hammond ( jeepers creepers ii ) , juan reidinger ( jennifer ' s body ) , eliza swenson ( dorothy and the witches of oz ) , chanel ryan ( bad kids go to hell ) , michael reed ( exhumed ) , sarah nicklin ( the disco exorcist ) , julianne tura ( bloody bloody bible camp ) , megan hensley ( the crazies ) , aaron massey ( on a dark stormy night ) , barry ratcliffe (
army wives
) , and kaylee signore
reggie is the priest who is overseeing the camp . the attendees are a range of stereotypical kids albeit a very small range as the budget must have been low as there were only 5 kids in attendance with 3 chaperones .
“if you like tits , gore , and fart / cock / gay jokes , all wrapped up with a killer nun offing horny teenagers dressed in 80s clobber , you’re sure to love this , and if you don’t , then flick through the bible instead . ” v egan vorhees
) is there to put a stop to it all . the group is murdered by the axe wielding lunatic . we skip ahead 7 years later and another group has decided to make a weekend retreat at the camp . led by father richard cummings (
later , vance , who notices zeke is missing , goes to his truck and finds him dead . he attempts to run and get help from the camp , but encounters chopper . who exsanguinates him with the ax . next , brittany , who was preparing to have anal sex with vance , and mistakes the killer for vance . she says she found a loophole in the bible that lets them have sex out of wedlock . this causes chopper to label brittany a
sodomite
and chokes her to death with a crucifix - knife .
it ' s 1984 and a group of young , horny , out of control christians led by father cummings ( reggie bannister ) are spending a fun filled weekend at the happy day bible camp . all ignore the warnings from the local folk of the grizzly murders that took place 7 years prior by a sadistic crazy nun . is sister mary chopper ( tim sullivan ) dead or is she just waiting for backsliding christians to commit sins of the unholy , and will jesus ( ron jeremy ) need to lend a hand to save the day ?
towards the film ' s climax , a counselor named zeke prepares to sneak away from the camp to by alcohol , which he plans on using to get the female campers drunk to have sex with them . chopper confronts him about his sin , quotes the 23 psalm and decapitates him .
this is a bad film , but it’s one of those intentionally bad films that’s really pretty decent when all things are considered . i mean when ron jeremy is jesus in said film you really know what you’re going for in the end . anyway the plot revolves around a group of i guess they’re supposed to be teenagers visiting a bible camp , most of which seem to be there against their will . it’s all so over the top and horribly acted that it’s really quite comical in a good way . the prequel opening is actually very well done and honestly is better than the real film , but seeing these perverse characters killed off by a gender confused religious character never got…
as the second group of
christian
campers head to the camp , they stop at a gas station , which is coincidentally run by j . j . and tad , the brothers of the mentally disabled survivor . when millie sees him , she hides in the van to avoid detection while he tells them about sister mary chopper .
this reminds me a lot of sleepaway camp 5 , but there ' s no successful franchise behind it to really give it it ' s push into holding your attention . i feel like this could have been a decent sequel to a film before it ? it ' s not really bad though , reggie bannister is good in it .
there is something for everyone in this wild , sexy and gory take on 80 ' s horror films ! from the unbelievable funny songs to the smoking hot ( and naked ) babes to the gory killings and the super - freaky cast , bloody is by far the absolute best indie horror film to come out in years . it moves quick , delivers bloody ( as the title suggest ) and even has a campground to take you back to the greatest decade of horror - 1980s ! reggie bannister is back in excellent form as the leader of this goofy pack of campers , and tim sullivan continues to entertain on the other side of the camera . and , if those two weren ' t enough , ron jeremy of adult film stardom is probably the craziest jesus ever put on film . do yourself a favor - watch this film . it is coming out on vod very soon , i caught it at texas frightmare . . .
one of the survivors became mentally disabled do to massive blood loss and the other , whose name was
gloria
changed her name to
millie
and became a counselor at the same camp seven years later in hopes of curing her ptsd ( seen when she hallucinates a man covered in blood crawling up the foot of her bed grudge - style ) .
led by father cummings , many years later , a new group of horny teens are heading to the camp . this bunch of dim - witted characters are just here for the slaughter , character development is unnecessary when you’re getting conversations about the size of jesus’s dick . or how about characters declaring that they need their ‘rusty starfish’ licked because there is no toilet paper ? they’re a classy bunch !
in 1977 , an all - out massacre transpired there . several years later , in 1984 , a church group pays a visit to the camp , with the intent of acquiring it for gods work . given the history , they expect to pick up the property for a song . unfortunately for the church group , sister mary chopper has other plans . sister mary is up to her old tricks and she intends to make the campers pay for their sins with their lives .
we return with another edition of the indie spotlight , highlighting the recent independent horror news sent our way . today’s feature includes first details on chainsaw sally : the animated series , release information for toxin , patrick : evil awakens , and rabid love , a trailer for one please , and much more : chainsaw sally animated series : “horror’s anti - heroine , chainsaw sally , to be the center of a brand new animated television series . the series will be a spinoff of the chainsaw sally show starring april monique burril and created by jimmyo burril . the burrils are directly involved with the show . “ chainsaw sally is lovable and brutal ; the epitome of what a vigilante should be in the horror realm . bloody bombshell entertainment and fatality films are elated to make this dream a reality in the coming months . horror fans watch out – we’re determined to change the way you think about horror programming .
next , timmy ( the camp geek ) is killed for getting in chopper ' s way , by smashing his skull with a cinder - block , an act that betty ( a camper ) and millie witness , and they flee to a cabin . chopper approaches father cumming ' s cabin and violently slashes his face and neck with the crucifix - knife . meanwhile millie reveals her true identity , but is promptly murdered by chopper for having on - and - off lesbian tendencies . betty runs from her , and encounters a camper who had been tortured by chopper and crucified across a doorway . she helps him down in an attempt to save him , but he tells her to run and tackles chopper who had snuck up behind betty . the two struggle , but he / she pushes him off and stabs him twice , killing him , before continuing chasing betty .
i know nothing about bible camps ( or “camps” generally , sorry to any american readers ) but from this film , i gather that everyone that goes to them is horny and way older than i’d have expected summer - campers to be . in 1977 , we meet a group of campers , a fairly horrible group if truth be told . the discussion about the size of god’s penis was one of those moments designed early on to tell you what sort of film you’re going to get , and i laughed . ugly nerdy looking men drug some beautiful women with spanish fly ; one of them is killed while he’s mid - penetration with what turns out to be the girl’s headless corpse , and the other is slaughtered while on the toilet . this entire thing , apart from the killings i suppose , has a real improv feel to it which i rather like , and i was sort of bummed out when the killer finished their work quite quickly and we jump forward to 1984 .
meanwhile , father cummings , who is revealed to have survived , has a conversation with
jesus
( comedically played by ron jeremy ) who tells him his only hope for getting into heaven , is if he stops sister mary chopper from killing more people , a deal he agrees to . meanwhile , the mentally disabled survivor from the first murder spree comes back to the camp , realizing the campers are in danger . his two hillbilly brothers come to stop him , but j . j . is stabbed in the neck , and he falls on tad . because j . j . was morbidly obese , tad ' s ribs and stomach are smashed , killing him as well . this distracts chopper and father cummings manages to get the knife from him / her while betty watches in horror . chopper lunges at him , and he holds out the knife , which impales and kills him / her .
i had heard alot of hype before i decided to pick up this new slasher . all positive reviews , people saying how much fun it was and how much they loved it . i mean reggie banister is in it , how could they go wrong . well , to answer that question : alot can go wrong and not much gone right .
) . the legend of mary chopper is still talked about but nothing has happened in 7 years . is she still around ? guess you will have to find out !
there really is not much to say in the synopsis of this film . the story is really not very elaborate . the film was given the 70 ' s and 80 ' s feel of a true slasher . slashers usually do not have much of a storyline anyway . hey , who needs good writers to make a movie ? the truth of the matter is this is one of those movies that are so so bad that they are enjoyable . i expected so much more out of this . maybe i built it up a little too much before i finally watched it .
the acting was so bad . even reggie was pretty horrible . his performance was really almost laughable . i don ' t think there was meant to be anything good about the acting or the deaths or the quality of the film . i am going to say it was meant to be as corny and just downright dumb as it looked . at least that ' s what i am hoping for . i do believe that if you would take the background story away from the killer it would have been a little better . as it stands it really just made it all that much more weirder . the death scenes could have used a little sprucing up as well . there are good deaths , then their are the deaths when you raise you eyebrows and say what the fuck !
despite my rambling on about this movie i really did enjoy myself . because , well , i seem to like really bad movies . it does hold a certain amount of charm , and let ' s face it when reggie bannister is in a horror movie you need to see it whether its good or bad . i liked much of the humor in the movie because i went to a catholic school and was around nuns alot . not the nicest people you could meet . to see a killer nun and and alot of dirty catholic humor makes me smile a little . stay twisted everyone !
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this movie will make you jump , laugh and say what the $ & % ^ all in the same scene and at the end , you ' ll be glad you watched it . a great mix of classic horror and comedy and then you add in ron jeremy playing jesus and you have an instant classic . the movie will keep you wanting to see what happens next and the soundtrack is fitting for the time the movie takes place ( early 80 ' s ) and funny enough to have you and your friends singing when the movie is over . it has the gore and chicks every good horror movie should require and plot has a few hidden things you only pick up the more you watch it . if you are reading user reviews on this movie stop now and just watch it for yourself . you won ' t be disappointed ! ! !
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actors : reggie bannister , tim sullivan , ron jeremy , david c . hayes
region : region 1 ( u . s . and canada only . read more about dvd formats . )
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this was just awesome . it had cheese , it had boobs , it had blood , it had spanish fly , it had taco meat , and it had reggie from phantasm . doesn ' t get much better than that .
the hype behind this throwback to the slasher - comedy falls flat on it ' s face . just nothing here but poorly delivered jokes , even reggie has trouble keeping this steamy poo interesting . okay , his pajama ' s are funny , but lets not get hasty . . . . i didn ' t watch any of the extra ' s yet , but honestly i can ' t imagine how they could give this cheesefest any depth . to compete with the other slasher throwbacks such as
father ' s day
,
the sleeper
,
gutterballs
, they need to bring some better , juicier practical effects . most of the kills i found to be disappointing , as if i were cheated out of the eye - candy . 2 stars .
this was a satirical and even funny take - off on 1970 ' s / 1980 ' s horror movies that would normally be the campy entertainment that i usually enjoy , were it not for the needless . . .
nothing is serious in this film . but the fun ! anytime ron jeremy is jesus , then you ' ve got a hit !
it ' s not terrible but parts are extremely irritating and go on and . . .
it ' s not terrible but parts are extremely irritating and go on and on and on . the comedy doesn ' t work but at least the pace is very fast .
against my better judgement , i started watching this movie on prime , with fingers crossed . maybe the handful of high reviews weren ' t friends and cast of the movie ( for once ) , . . .
this isn ' t a horror movie , it ' s a horribly written , directed and acted very amateur porno with 5th grade bathroom humor .
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expect gratuitous gore , plenty of nudity & even a cameo from porn - star ron jeremy as jesus christ .
seriously the title card for this movie comes out of the final victims vagina , the hairiest vagina you’ve ever seen this side of a demi moore teen pic .
sister mary isn’t happy with the debauchery taking place & plans to punish all the sinners in her own special way . this involves decapitations , crucifixions , some good old fashioned stabbings & my favourite…a sharpened crucifix shoved up the ass . sister mary doesn’t care how the punishment is dished out , only that we are seeing blood spurting justice .
it sounds like a blast…and it is up to a point . for 60 + minutes the tongue in cheek style is smart & plays well off the graphic violence . many of the actors play up to their idiotic characters turning them into parodies of slasher movies from the late 70s & 80s . sister mary chopper’s outfit ( the mask in particular ) looks cool & it’s never obvious just who the killer is even if it is clearly a man .
unfortunately the latter parts of the film take the tongue in cheek / slapstick style & just dial it up to such a level that it becomes embarrassingly unfunny . the introduction of ron jeremy as jesus will raise a smirk ( he has some funny lines ) but its jammed in among some of the most cringe - worthy scenes & poorly written dialogue of the entire movie .
it will leave a bad taste in the mouth as the final moments drag on & it sours what was a silly but entertaining watch .
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. . . and god so loved the world , that he gave his only begotten son , so that whosoever believeth in him shall not perish , but have ever - lasting life . . . . or not !
the film ends with
jesus
, father cummings , and betty reuniting and
jesus
says
heaven is for everyone . . . except you !
unlike the 2 angela bakers ( who both are at large ) and mrs . tredoni ( who is institutionalized ) eugene is deceased
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bbbc does a good job of recapturing the feel of late - 70s / early - 80s horror films . it does give itself away , as a throwback piece , with the infusion of more modern dialogue , which upset me a little bit . when im watching a period piece , i expect a certain degree of historical accuracy . but , for the most part , bbbc does a fairly effective job of transporting the viewer back to a time when premarital sex , marijuana drugs , poor judgment , and teen drinking reigned supreme .
once the killing got under way , the fx team did a great job with the gore . the kill scenes were brutal . the effects didnt have that enhanced with cg look , nor were they the type of effects you would expect to see in a student film . oddtopsy fx really struck the perfect balance between over done and understated . i was pleasantly surprised with the overall appearance of all of the films kill scenes . if they had been peppered throughout the film , as opposed to bookended at the front and back , it would have made them all the more enjoyable .
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most of people would have said that this is the worst movie ever but i don ' t think it is . well , if every bad movie is the worst than what is the definition of the worst itself . i mean this movie isn ' t worst but it is bad . they try to put some classic movie atmosphere and cliché ' into this and i believe they have succeeded ( but not really good ) . it is not horror but rather trying to be comedic . at times i would feel like laughing but i just can ' t , something some kind of missing in it . if you have nothing better to do than loosen your expectation and watch this movie . then you may find it is watchable . if more time , money and efforts being put on this movie maybe it would be much much better .