teddy bear ( danish : 10 timer til paradis , " 10 hours to paradise " ) is a 2012 danish film starring kim kold as a danish bodybuilder who travels to thailand to find love .

the film was directed by mads matthiesen and written by matthiesen and martin zandvliet .

teddy bear is based on matthiesen 's 2007 short film dennis , which starred kold in the same role .

teddy bear ( 2012 film )

after finishing film school mads made his first feature “teddy bear” ( 2012 ) the film premiered at sundance film festival in 2012 where mads won the “best director” award in the “world cinema dramatic competition” . the film was nominated for the european film academy’s “european discovery” award and was a big festival hit around the world winning a dozen of awards . it was sold for theatrical release to more than 20 countries .
a boy and his x : rather , a man and his teddy bear .
silver bear for best short film : atsushi wada ' s the great rabbit .
crystal bear for the best feature film : reis çelik ' s lal gece .
be a little boy as long as he has his teddy bear with him . . .
unusually uninteresting sight : after 27 years , nobody is surprised that a living teddy bear exists .
teddy bear - 2012 plot : the 38 - year - old bodybuilder dennis would really like to find true love . he has never had a girlfriend and lives alone with his . . .
the narration claims that the stupid , evil child robert grew up to be taylor lautner ( even though the film takes place in 2012 ) .
looking for movie tickets ? enter your location to see which movie theaters are playing teddy bear near you .
seth macfarlane may be going to court over a teddy bear . according to thr , a california production company called bengal mangle productions has filed a copyright infringement lawsuit against the comedian and universal over the concept behind his hit 2012 film ted , claiming that the vulgar womanizing teddy bear character was stolen from their 2008 screenplay - turned - web series called acting school academy and charlie the abusive teddy , which starred a strikingly similar teddy bear named charlie and got over 1 . 2 million views on youtube , facebook , itunes , funny or die , and vimeo .
cologne , germany - sundance entry teddy bear - a danish drama about a shy bodybuilder looking for love ; the dutch children ' s film kauwboy and the german drama reported missing are among the titles in the running this year for the european film academy ' s european discovery 2012 - prix fipresci , the efa ' s newcomer honour .
ted ' s name refers to the fact that he ' s a teddy bear and is a less diminutized version of
teddy ,
indicating that he ' s an adult .
from its title to its closing caress , teddy bear skates perilously close to the cliff ' s edge of mawkish sentiment .
kavorka man : ted had sex with numerous attractive women despite being , well , a teddy bear . with no penis .
the winner of the european discovery 2012 honor will be announced at the efa awards ceremony in malta on dec . 1 .
leno device : ted appears on the tonight show with johnny carson after being revealed to the world as a living teddy bear .
bathroom humor meets courtroom drama in
ted 2 ,
seth macfarlane ' s sequel to the hit 2012 comedy about a hard - living , foul - mouthed teddy bear brought to life by a wish from his best buddy , john ( mark wahlberg ) .
“teddy bear” is the first feature by danish director mads matthiesen . the film features a cast of non - actors led by bodybuilder kim kold and will be presented in the world dramatic competition .
seth macfarlane voices teddy bear ted and mark wahlberg plays hisbest friend , john , in
ted 2 .
( universal pictures )
movie review - ' teddy bear ' - a put - upon hardbody , but a ' teddy bear ' at heart mads matthiesen ' s teddy bear , starring real - life bodybuilder kim kold , mixes fairytale tropes and tender non - professional performances to tell the story of dennis , a stunted mother ' s boy who flees home looking for love . he ventures to thailand , where he finds kindred souls . ( recommended )
i loved this movie . it ' s a monument to humanism that never strikes the wrong chord . teddy bear deserved a much larger audience .
indiewire invited sundance film festival directors to tell us about their films , including what inspired them , the challenges they faced and what they’re doing next . we’ll be publishing their responses leading up to the 2012 festival .
and i’m proud to be portuguese : for miguel gomes’ tabu ( the most beloved film at the festival ) , winner of two awards , and for joão salaviza’s rafa , winner of the short film golden bear . salaviza won the short film palm d’or in 2009 with arena .
matthiesen and his cast have created a believable space , and that ultimately helps give teddy bear the tension of a fine suspense film once kold sits down across the kitchen table from steentoft to speak his mind at last .
all young john wants is a true friend for life . for christmas , his parents give him an enormous teddy bear the size of a first grader , and that night under the sheets with a flashlight , john asks teddy to be his real and true forever friend . teddy comes to life and agrees .
film movement , sf film production & beofilm present ; [ visit films ] ; a film by mads matthiesen ; instruktor , mads matthiesen ; manuskript , mads matthiesen / martin pieter zandvliet ; producer , morten kjems juhl .
set in contemporary denmark and in thailand , mads matthiesen ' s teddy bear is a sweetly muted domestic drama struggling to contain a fierce and ancient folk tale .
the international short film jury — emily jacir , sandra hüller and david o ' reilly — has awarded the daad short film prize to trevor anderson for the man that got away and the berlin short film nominee for the european film award to justine triet ' s vilaine fille mauvais garçon ( two ships ) .
mads was born in 1976 in copenhagen , denmark . he has a ba in comparative literature and rhetoric from copenhagen university . he graduated as director from the danish film school “super16” in 2008 . mads’ first film school project the short film ”mum” ( 2006 ) was selected for the 63 . venice film festival in the official program “corto cortissimo” 2006 , and his second film school project “dennis” ( 2007 ) premiered in the competition program for short films at sundance film festival 2008 .
silver bear for best actress : rachel mwanza  for her performance in war witch .
a slender but disarming danish film about a painfully shy bodybuilder looking for love . twitter
you ' ll feel the warmth and camaraderie of a bostonian and his little sentient bear .
silver bear for best screenplay : nikolaj arcel and rasmus heisterberg  for a royal affair .
dennis and toi’s ( lamaiporn hougaard ) endearing relationship was engaging to watch . teddy bear delves into those tender moments and an ending that makes all the awkward moments surrounding their relationship worthwhile watching .
grand prix of the deutsches kinderhilfswerk for the best film : boudewijn koole ' s kauwboy .
this article is related to : reviews and tagged l . a . film fest , review
plot developments that hint at an emerging thriller by suggesting that emma is becoming dangerously obsessive about her relationship with the sought - after photographer fizzle out too quickly , leaving the narrative to rely on palm’s relative inexperience as it plumbs the depths of emma’s despair . fans of matthiesen’s low - budget debut feature teddy bear , winner of the 2012 sundance world cinema directing award , may miss that film’s gentle humor and low - key charm , here replaced by high - strung drama and glitzy posturing .
special mention — it comes with a silver bear — goes to ursula meier ' s sister .
born of magic : ted was just a normal teddy bear whose owner wished for him to come to life with seth macfarlane ' s most overused character voice . unfortunately for everyone involved , reality ensues .
there ' s also peril involving donny , a creepy dad ( giovanni ribisi ) who as a child passionately wanted ted to be his own teddy , and his pudgy spoiled son ( aedin mincks ) , who wants ted now . their desire is pitched at such a perverse level that it approaches teddy - bear predation .
“teddy bear , ” like dennis , is understated and of few words . but , again like dennis , this makes it all the more powerful when we realize what it’s trying to say . [ a - ]
best feature 2012 : srdjan dragojevic ' s parada ( the parade ) . 2nd place : daniele vicari ' s diaz - don ' t clean up this blood . 3rd place : cao hamburger ' s xingu .
teddy bear is not the most substantial film , but it has a restrained charm and an emotional payoff in keeping with its prevailing understatement . as dennis stands up to his mother , claiming the right to happiness in his familiar laconic way but with new purposefulness , he acquires a kind of strength previously unavailable to him .
subverted kids show : tying in with the theme of growing up the film presents in the opening .
patrick stewart ' s jab at superman returns at the end . this might be motivated by bryan singer leaving the x men film series series ( where stewart plays professor x ) to make the film .
this film is not currently playing on mubi but 30 other great films are . see what’s now showing
too dumb to live : yeah , let a teddy bear who is simultaneously high off of cocaine and drunk give you a five finger fillet . ted has a point when he says the guy never should have trusted him .
notebook is a daily , international film publication . our mission is to guide film lovers searching , lost or adrift in an overwhelming sea of content . we offer text , images , sounds and video as critical maps , passways and illuminations to the worlds of contemporary and classic film . notebook is a mubi publication .
teddy bear is mostly a light - hearted film with thoughtful undertones in the difficulty of familiar relationships . unfortunately , these areas aren’t explored in depth . kold’s acting is convincing throughout the movie and gives an impressive performance . dennis is a fantastic character study that aims at the sentimental understanding of the sometimes demanding choices real people may make . the film truly focuses in on his desires and expertly highlights the obstacles that surface in these relationships .
though ted takes a few lumps ( and it ' s more a sissy fight than anything ) , it ' s inevitable they couldn ' t resist having john getting his ass handed to him by a cute little teddy bear .
inverted in that lori is the one who wants to get rid of ted , while the people who want to kidnap him are male . the general public seems to be about even in their interest in a living teddy bear .
offered by vodafone - 1 . 500 euro ( the full amount goes to the director of the film )
seth macfarlane may be going to court over a teddy bear . according to thr , a california production company called bengal mangle productions has filed a copyright infringement lawsuit against the comedian and universal over the concept behind [ . . . ]
great movie , it looks like it could be a documentary film , that ' s how life like the film is . the movie proves that sometimes a man needs to travel to another country to find true . . .
throw in the fact that quite a few significant voice actors from family guy have notable roles in this film .
special prize of the deutsche kinderhilfswerk for the best short film : billie pleffer ' s b i n o .
the main character is the manager of a sport club , nicknamed
teddy bear
by his friends and acquaintances . one day he is detained at the border just as his sport team is off to a . . . see full summary »
i loved this movie b / c of the main character , petersen , who is kind and good . i routed for him and the acting was so good that i really believed all the people were real ! teddy bear is the right title .
the laughs in
ted
come largely through the teddy bear ' s dialogue . with an edgy beantown accent and a potty mouth , ted insults and offends everyone he comes into contact with , and sees lori as a threat to his friendship with john . this despite his own pastimes , which include drugs , hookers , and as we later discover , a torrid early 1990s affair with absolutely the last female vocalist you could imagine having sex with a teddy bear — and i mean the last .
mundane fantastic : ted is treated as a normal person who just happens to be a teddy bear ( much like brian griffin on family guy ) . after 25 years , he ' s now a faded celebrity as the novelty has mostly worn off .
the film unapologetically warns us at every turn that fashion is nothing but a business , fueled by naiveté and rape .
my name is sandy + aidy hoffman . i am the creative writer and film reviewer of the aidy reviews website .
offered by evenimentul zilei - 1 . 500 de euro ( the full amount goes to the screenwriter of the film )
all five titles come with a strong festival pedigree . teddy bear won the world cinema ' s best director prize in sundance ; kauwboy and reported missing debuted in berlin , where kauwboy took the best first movie award in the generation kplus section ; broken premiered in cannes and twilight portrait has scooped up multiple festival honours , winning the best director prize in thessaloniki , the golden puffin at the reykjavik international film festival and the grand prize for best film at the cottbus festival for young eastern european cinema .
he ' s right , of course . that ' s what women do in these romantic comedies with foul - mouthed wastrel teddy bears .
when john said he wished he had gotten a
teddy rux - fuckin ' - pin
for christmas instead , ted loses it .
dennis ( kold ) has an unhealthy relationship with his controlling mother , ingrid ( elsebeth steentoft ) . film movement hide caption
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offered by the national cinematography center - 5 . 000 euro ( the full amount goes to the director of the film )
the silver bear for an outstanding artistic contribution goes to director of photography lutz reitemeier  for his work on white deer plain .
so rarely have i ever been quite beautifully claw hammered by a movie than i was by the 1965 film , who killed teddy bear ? it’s one of those films that can leave you slack jawed over what you have just seen and all the while it just seeps further and further into your consciousness . it’s been days since i last watched it and i still cannot stop thinking about it .
the tomatometer score — based on the opinions of hundreds of film and television critics — is a trusted measurement of critical recommendation for millions of fans . it represents the percentage of professional critic reviews that are positive for a given film or television show .
what ' s remarkable about
ted
is that it doesn ' t run out of steam . macfarlane seems unwilling to stop after the first payoff of a scene . he keeps embellishing . in ted , he has an inexhaustible source of socially obnoxious behavior and language , and it ' s uncanny the way a teddy bear can get away with doing and saying things that we wouldn ' t necessarily accept from a human character . this is partly because ted is a stand - up insult comedian trapped inside the body of a teddy bear .
mads matthiesen ( b . 1976 , copenhagen ) began dabbling in direction while still a student of comparative literature and rhetoric at copenhagen university . he became more widely recognized after graduating in 2005 , when his short films began turning up at a variety of international festivals , including venice , berlin , and sundance . the success of dennis ( 2007 ) was a turning point in his career : after screening at sundance it won numerous awards and became an internet hit . his next film , cathrine ( 2008 ) , competed in the generation section at the berlinale ; it was later screened at moma in new york . teddy bear ( 2012 ) , which develops the theme of matthiesen’s short film dennis , is his first feature . he was awarded for direction in the world cinema - dramatic category at sundance .
bodybuilder dennis ( kim kold ) and gym owner toi ( lamaiporn sangmanee hougaard ) share a tender moment . film movement hide caption
a very funny comedy with a very obscene humor , which curiously doesn ' t come out offensive from a teddy bear ' s mouth , but it is also surprisingly warm and sincere , showing ted as a complex character and making him totally believable with a flawless animation job .
a shared image that circled the internet at the time of the movie joked about how males were lining up to see a movie about a teddy bear , whereas women were lining up to see a movie about strippers , magic mike , which had been released at the same time .
where the phrase “ teddy bear ” implies a certain squashy cuddliness , the film’s subject is anything but . at least on the outside . but , then again , bears aren’t that cuddly in real life either . danish director mads matthiesen developed this feature from his acclaimed 2007 short , “ dennis , ” which began his exploration of the emotional resonance of an ultra - masculine figure in an incredibly emasculating situation . in the full - length version of the story , the man’s humiliation and powerlessness evolve into the quiet self - confidence of a person who has found acceptance . upon peeling back this teddy bear’s layers of fur , we begin to see the soft cotton that gives him his true shape .
he ' s still afraid of thunder through most of the film and needs to sing a song to help him cope with it .
she believes john when he says that it ' s from the notebook , indicating that she hasn ' t seen that film either .
the village voice ' s stephanie zacharek , on the other hand , concedes up front that
some movies are indefensible , and ' ted 2 ' is one of them . not only is this a movie about a libidinous , foul - mouthed stuffed bear ; it ' s the sequel to an earlier movie about a libidinous , foul - mouthed stuffed bear . but i laughed and laughed at ' ted 2 ' — as i did at the 2012 ' ted ' — and i can hardly tell you what that says about me , let alone about you .
who killed teddy bear ? is a brave film that gives you no easy answers . sadly , it didn’t really do a thing for anyone that was involved , career - wise . mineo did continue to do film , tv and theater work , including staging a controversial version of the prison drama fortune and men’s eyes that featured a young don johnson . all of that was cut short in 1976 , when he was murdered by a drifter . elaine stritch continues to be a monolithic character actress on broadway , film and tv . juliet prowse , jan murray and daniel j . travanti , who has the small role of carlo , marian’s deaf bouncer , all went on to have healthy careers in television . the same could be said for director joseph cates , though perhaps that is the biggest shame given that he never was given the chance again to direct anything as nuanced and challenging as who killed teddy bear ? . in an ideal world , this film should have forged a different career direction for cates and certainly for mineo , whose wounded eyes and brutal actions are hard to forget . who killed teddy bear ? is ripe for proper rediscovery . it’s a mystery why this great film is still not available legally on dvd here in the us . ( it did get a release in the uk , though that appears to already be out - of - print . ) it is viewable on youtube , for anyone who does not have access to the uk , pal formatted disc . hopefully , it will someday get the proper release that it so justly deserves .
demoted to extra : john ' s co - workers alix and tanya ' s sideplot is omitted from the film ' s final cut .
teddy bear
is a good film but not a great one . it was made in denmark by mads matthiesen and stars real - life bodybuilder kim kold . it is the first feature film for both matthiesen and kold , telling the story of a man approaching age 40 but still trying to break free from the domineering power of his mother . the most striking thing about the film is the contrast between the main character ' s physical power - - he truly looks like the hulk - - and his emotional powerlessness . i very much liked this study in contrasts and the examination of contradictions that often come with hyper - masculinity . i also liked the hints at the end of why the mother and son are so deeply bonded . i won ' t reveal the surprises . i ' ll just say that the man ' s devotion to his mother appears more comprehensible in the end . but
teddy bear
never really takes your breath away . it ' s absolutely competent but not much more than that .
best documentary 2012 : matthew akers ' s marina abramovic the artist is present . 2nd place : malika zouhali - worrall and katherine fairfax wright ' s call me kuchu . 3rd place : namir abdel messeeh ' s la vierge , les coptes et moi ( the virgin , the copts and me ) .
the funniest movie character so far this year is a stuffed teddy bear . and the best comedy screenplay so far is
ted ,
the saga of the bear ' s friendship with a 35 - year - old manchild . i know ; this also was hard for me to believe . after memories of mel gibson ' s bond with a sock puppet ,
ted
was not high on the list of movies i was impatient to see .
died of lou gehrig ' s disease . earlier in the film , john says to rex that he hopes he gets lou gehrig ' s disease
the ballad of narayama
is a japanese film of great beauty and elegant artifice , telling a story of startling cruelty . what a space it opens…
offered by the romanian cultural institute - 15 . 000 euro ( the amount will be equally shared between the director and the majority producer of the film )
film rests solely on his big shoulders . the title says it all ; nail biting to see a man with this power be a scared little boy .
park city – the title implies something adorable but also soft , and it’s the avoidance of that latter quality that makes teddy bear a pleasurable character study . danish director mads matthiesen ’s feature expansion of his much - lauded 2007 short film , dennis , recounts a gentle giant’s struggle to overcome crippling shyness and take hold of his life . in other hands , the material might have drowned in cute quirks , but matthiesen’s unadorned observational style has a distinctly scandinavian stoicism that trusts both the comedy and sentiment to emerge organically .
i have never written a review on amazon after thirteen years of having an account . i don ' t have the words to say how much this film touched me .
rufus norris '
broken ,
german drama
reported missing
and russian film
twilight portrait
are also in the running for efa ' s newcomer honor .
dennis ' graduation to adulthood makes a touching , often funny story , its protagonists ' awkward decency enhanced by the stiff performances of the mostly non - pro actors . as a love story , though , teddy bear is a touch thin , perhaps because the warm heart it wears on its sleeve keeps cracking to reveal buried domestic horror . talk about something rotten in denmark .
ted opens in 1985 in a wintry boston so full of violence and prejudice , narrator patrick stewart tells us , that a jewish kid immediately joins a band of irish - american antisemites in tormenting the film ' s lonely eight - year - old hero , john bennett . john gets a large teddy bear for christmas , christens him teddy and wishes that he could come to life . which he does , not as an imaginary friend of the kind we all have had or as an invisible rabbit like harvey , but a real - life
thunder buddy
to console him at anxious moments . ted immediately becomes a national celebrity , and in a glorious montage we see his rise to fame , his scabrous repartee causing johnny carson to collapse with laughter on his tv talk show . but as with everything else the audience gets bored with the novelty of a talking bear and ted ' s popularity is short - lived .
a pleasurable character study [ teddy bear ] has a restrained charm and an emotional payoff . - - hollywood reporter sweet and steady . . . you want him to find love [ and ] it all pays off - - christopher campbell , indiewire sweet and steady . . . you want him to find love [ and ] it all pays off - - christopher campbell , indiewire
the film itself is a powder keg of beautifully moody b & w cinematography and the grimy underbelly of the human condition . the opening credit sequence alone sets the tone , featuring a blurry undulation of bodies as a little girl watches , clutching her cherished teddy bear . she turns away , only to fall down the stairs , with her face now suddenly blank , as if she is dead or brain damaged . without a breath of relief , the actual film starts in a cramped , shadowy bedroom , complete with a nightstand littered with lurid publications , featuring titles like french frills and when she was bad . a mirror reflects the image of a man caressing his bare chest while looking at photos of norah , right before calling her up .
“the film very much deals with different perspectives of love . it is about the love between mother and son , in contrast to the love dennis is seeking in a female partner .
exclusive : when i was covering toronto , the big talk was all about deals for completed films . but the one script buyers were talking up was the imitation game , graham moore’s heralded screenplay about alan turing , the english mathematician , logician , cryptanalyst , and computer scientist who single - handedly helped crack the german “enigma code” during world war ii that helped the allies stave off defeat . in a competitive situation , teddy schwarzman’s black bear pictures has come aboard to finance production of the film , with schwarzman producing with ampersand pictures’ nora grossman and ido ostrowsky , with moore exec producing .
the miracle of a walking , talking teddy bear of course makes the little stuffed creature an overnight celebrity , and he appears on the carson show . but his fame fades (
like corey feldman ,
the narrator explains ) , and he settles in as john ' s roommate for life . years pass . teddy is now a little frayed , and john ( mark wahlberg ) , at 35 , has a counter job at a rental car agency . against all odds , he also has a fragrant girlfriend named lori collins ( mila kunis ) , who has been waiting four years for a marriage proposal .
' s
romance versus bromance
plot is familiar , but the film ' s held aloft by the high - concept central premise and a very funny ( albeit inconsistent ) script .
when ted is kidnapped , he ' s shown to be no more durable than any other teddy bear when the villains cut his ear off and tear him in half . what makes it weird is that earlier , ted beat the shit out of john with ease , although this could be justified as john and ted were hitting each other with blunt force whereas in this fight he was attacked with sharp objects .
a significant portion of the film’s focus rests on dennis’ home life and meeting intimidating women in thailand before it arrives at substantial plot developments–the film sort of drags a little before the poignant scenes . especially when dennis was out touring hectic pattaya–causing a huge deal of anxiety for him ; the thai girls were overly interested in dennis’ herculean physique , putting a damper on his ideals of love .
the story recounted in teddy bear is about feeling like an outsider . i have always been fond of portraying people who do not fit in that well with society . what prejudices do we harbor when confronted with a tattooed , muscle - bound man ? at any rate a hard , emotionally stunted individual – and hardly a vulnerable , shy , affectionate person with an overly close relationship with his mother . likewise , there are many prejudices against men who travel to thailand in search of love . in teddy bear i attempt to play around with people’s prejudices , and turn them upside down . for things are seldom as they appear from the outside … the film portrays different aspects of love . a mother’s clinging love for her son and also the very different pathways love between men and women can take in denmark and thailand . people in the west have other criteria when they seek love than purely financial considerations . in thailand a woman has to find a husband who can support the family . therefore poor girls head for pattaya to find a western man who hasn’t been able to find love back home . teddy bear is about love , and the search for happiness . it is about the bonds , healthy and unhealthy , that we create with the people we are fond of . and it is about dennis , who has to learn how to pursue happiness according to his own needs , and not allow himself to be dictated by his surroundings .
winner of the best director award at sundance this year , teddy bear is your usual son - under - the - thumb - of - mum story except this time he is a gigantic ageing real - life bodybuilder called ' dennis ' . it ' s a lovely and delicate tale of identity / masculinity and overcoming ones obstacles be they physical or mental . a great example of low - budget filmmaking . 4 stars
the theatrical campaign for ted , seth macfarlane ' s hit comedy about a salty talking teddy bear , won the top gong at the 41st annual hollywood reporter key art awards . the ceremony , which celebrates the best movie ad campaigns , dished out its gold key art award for ted ' s integrated campaign and also awarded gold in the print category , for the billboards and one - sheet teaser posters depicting ted and best buddy mark wahlberg variously swigging beers on a couch and urinating with their backs to the viewer . another poster announced :
ted is coming
, and showed a possibly - masturbating bear behind a laptop .
after young john announces that his teddy bear has come to life , his parents assume he ' s playing and dismiss him . then when ted walks out of the bedroom and says hello , they freak out and john ' s dad tells his mom to get his gun and call the police . the do warm up to him after a few minutes , though . once it ' s clear he ' s not gonna hurt anybody .
the first silver bear , the jury grand prix , goes to bence fliegauf ' s just the wind . ( last year , this prize went to a hungarian as well , to béla tarr for the turin horse . )
moore is repped by caa and managed by tom drumm of the safran company . his attorney is fred toczek . caa put the financing together and will rep distribution rights . attorney alan wertheimer repped the producers and schwarzman for black bear .
family guy creator seth macfarlane brings his boundary - pushing brand of humor to the big screen for the first time as writer , director and voice star of ted . in the live action / cg - animated comedy , he tells the story of john bennett ( mark wahlberg ) , a grown man who must deal with the cherished teddy bear who came to life as the result of a childhood wish . . . and has refused to leave his side ever since . - - ( c ) universal
what’s it about ? “teddy bear” is about the 38 year old dennis and his trouble with finding love . dennis is a bodybuilder : 6’7 feet tall , 308 pounds of raw muscle power . despite his rough appearance , he is a very shy and insecure man . dennis has problems with finding love and believing in himself . he lives with his mother in a tight and unhealthy relationship . the film deals with dennis and his attempt to break free from his mother and make it on his own . when dennis’ uncle returns from thailand with a thai wife , dennis decides to travel to thailand on a quest for love . maybe in thailand , far away from his mother , he can find the courage to begin a relationship with another woman .
i must end on a note of warning .
ted
is not merely an r - rated movie , but a very r - rated movie —
for crude and sexual content , pervasive language and some drug use ,
according to the mpaa , and what they mean by
some
is hard to figure , because it could hardly contain more . no matter how much kids want to see the teddy bear movie in the ads on tv , steer them to
brave .
trust me on this .
not exactly a movie about lurid sex tourism , though coming awfully close , the film does risk credibility at times with a protagonist so out of touch , that he seems to hardly have a clue about the difference between hookers and potential housewives .
first he needs to deal with his mother , ingrid ( elsebeth steentoft ) , a wisp of a woman with sharp features and a bitter affect . a tiny , proud beauty , ingrid lords over the small , drab house she shares with dennis , her only child . the two live in a colorless quarter outside of copenhagen , but they also bicker and overshare in that realm known as the contemporary art film , at that junction where lives of quiet desperation meet the cinema of sobriety . by this i don’t mean that anyone is a teetotaler in “teddy bear , ” though dennis’s breakfast slurry of nuked nutritional powder and egg whites is punishingly spartan . it’s only to say that the movie’s no - frills realism derives from common aesthetic strategies like hand - held cinematography and nonprofessional acting .
the bodybuilder kim kold doesn’t loom over the world of “teddy bear , ” a low - key danish drama about saying hello to love and goodbye to dear old , horrible mom , he towers . as dennis , the movie’s emphatically noncuddly title character , mr . kold has a diffident manner that appears at odds with his outrageous physical size and his character’s expert exhibitionism . a hulking contradiction tucked under a stratum of ropy muscle , his dennis is at once massive and passive , as big as a house and shy as a mouse . he needs to roar .
though the budding relationship between this odd couple is sweet and heartening , “teddy bear” is not really about their romance . it isn’t really a romance at all , but a coming - of - age ( at a very late date ) story , an account of the changing interactions between dennis and ingrid . it’s their relationship that takes center stage in the first and third acts , in a structuring device where toi nearly becomes the other woman . this focus creates a heartrending , and sometimes disheartening , film . the mother - son relationship is full of devastating moments , and the consequences of the mother’s suffocating neediness — the effects it has on her son — are especially painful to watch . in more than one shot , we see dennis standing alone , framed in silhouette , as he views the bustling world around him .
as for
ted 2 ' s
critical reception , we have a bit of a hung jury . some critics appreciate or at least give in to the film ' s onslaught of risque humor , while others say it ' s unamusing and out of touch .
bowdlerise : the japanese version premiered a pg - 12 version of ted in july so that younger audiences could watch , toning down and cutting out the film ' s more raunchy parts . however , the uncut r - 15 version is still available for the older audience to see .
paolo and vittorio taviani ' s caesar must die has won the golden bear at this year ' s berlinale . the other awards , presented by mike leigh and his international jury ( anton corbijn , asghar farhadi , charlotte gainsbourg , jake gyllenhaal , françois ozon , boualem sansal and barbara sukowa ) :
these observations are provoked by some very sniffy and patronising reactions to the calculatedly provocative film ted . it ' s the big - screen debut as director , co - writer and co - producer of seth macfarlane , author of the popular , envelope - pushing american tv series family guy and american dad . i found this weirdly disturbing movie funny in both of the senses referred to in the 1945 british film the rake ' s progress . told by her suave english lover rex harrison that she ' s funny , the austrian refugee lilli palmer asked :
funny ha - ha or funny peculiar ?
black bear launched early last year , and is a producer of broken city , the allen hughes - directed drama that stars mark wahlberg , russell crowe and catherine zeta - jones , with emmett / furla financing and fox distributing . black bear also produced the ramin bahrani - directed at any price with dennis quaid and zac efron , with sony pictures classics releasing ; adult childen of divorce , the comedy that stars adam scott , richard jenkins , amy poehler , jessica alba and jane lynch ; and all is lost , the survival tale written and directed by margin call ‘s j . c . chandor , with robert redford starring .
“brideshead revisited” took nearly two years to film ; its editor , anthony ham , estimated that half a million feet of footage was shot , only 26 , 000 of which ended up in the finished product . small wonder , then , that the cast and crew practically smothered mr . sturridge with silly string when shooting wrapped .
from its title to its closing caress , teddy bear skates perilously close to the cliff’s edge of mawkish sentiment . dennis ( kim kold ) , a sweet but emotionally stunted 38 - year - old danish bodybuilder , lives in a state of arrested development with his deceptively birdlike little mother , ingrid ( elsebeth steentoft ) , who’s sunk her talons deep into him and has no intention of letting go . just one hollywood - style speech , with dennis ranting about being a boy in a man’s body or railing about how the need to overcompensate drove him to create that hulking carapace , would have blown this lightweight contraption right over that cliff , but director mads matthiesen lets kold’s cartoonish body and sweet face tell the story .
as shooting dragged on , there were further snags . mr . irons popped off to film “the french lieutenant’s woman . ” on the bonus section of the new 30th anniversary “brideshead” dvd released by acorn media , ms . bloom ( lady marchmain , sebastian’s mother ) can be heard muttering , “i’ve been playing this part too long . ”
the series’s lush evocation of a bygone era of english high living was infectious . in new york , bloomingdale’s unveiled display windows of “brideshead” - inspired fashions . young men emulated sebastian by toting teddy bears they named aloysius . a new yorker cartoon depicted a woman introducing a dowdy middle - aged companion : “this is my cousin sebastian . but , of course , not the sebastian . ”
directed by mads matthiesen from a schematic screenplay by him and martin pieter zandvliet , “teddy bear” is a largely likable tale about a 38 - year - old man - child trying finally to grow up . when the movie opens , dennis is having a nightmarish presumptive first date with a bored chick who listlessly picks at him and her food . dennis explains that he’s a professional bodybuilder , but that he has to work in security to pay the bills . from the way he hides out for a spell in the men’s room , his heavy head listing toward the sink as if he were about to retch , it seems obvious that this isn’t his first lousy match . he brings to mind an easter island statue teetering and nearly toppling .
i really enjoyed this movie , it is understated and gentle with a really likable performance from kim kold as this giant bodybuilder who ' s just trying to break free from his domineering mother who guilt trips him into taking care of her even if it means destroying dennis ' chance at creating his life and achieving happiness on his own . what ' s great about the performance , at least from dennis ' mother , is that she ' s not over the top , her manipulation is far more subtle and therefore that makes her more effective as a character since she plays the character in a believable manner . and that ' s the strength of the film , the fact that a lot of the actors cast were pretty much unknown adds believability to the proceedings . as mentioned kim kold is has a very likable presence and he does a great job at carrying the film , especially for someone who is as inexperienced as he was at acting . while the character is very much a teddy bear , i think the character isn ' t as simple as that , he ' s far more complex at least in the way how he leads a sheltered life as to not upset his mother . a lot of people may not like the movie because it may be slow and when you watch the film it doesn ' t seem like a lot happened , but i found it interesting and it has some really good storytelling but , again , it ' s more subtle and understated . it ' s still a very sweet and gentle story , but it doesn ' t beat you over the head with it . the movie could ' ve used more comedy , but that ' s hardly a complaint . i really enjoyed this movie , it isn ' t perfect but it is damn good .
“it’s hard to pinpoint one single challenge that was the hardest while doing this film . one of them was definitely the fact that i wanted to work with “real” people in the cast . most of the actors in the film are real people ( “non actors” ) casted in the environment we were filming . the bar girls in thailand are real bar girls , the men around them are the real people who hang out in these places , and of cause , kim kold , the lead actor , is a real professional bodybuilder . working mostly with amateurs was a big challenge but also a gift , because you get a great deal of authenticity when you work with real people in real environments .
was it good television ? mark broughton , the author of a history of the show to be published this year by the british film institute and palgrave macmillan , thinks so . he called the mini - series “far more effective” than waugh’s novel because it better revealed the damage done to jeremy irons’s character by a deceptively charming , immensely wealthy family .
the crunch comes when lori and john return from a dinner celebrating the anniversary of their first date to find ted carousing with three hookers , one of whom has defecated in the corner of the living room after playing truth or dare . the bear must go , and he ' s found a job at a supermarket where his every outrageous depredation is followed by a forgiving promotion . but he constantly leads john astray , most notably attracting him to an orgiastic party attended by their hero , the minor movie star sam jones , who played flash gordon in the 1980 film version of the comic strip . the two are enthralled by the popular culture of the 1980s , and ted has an encyclopaedic knowledge of films and tv .
in one of the more favorable reviews , the times ' rebecca keegan writes ,
while ' ted 2 ' is absurd and occasionally disgusting , it is also wickedly funny .
macfarlane and wahlberg
embody the comedy truths that a cute , cuddly toy can get away with anything and a boston accent is inherently entertaining ,
while the film around them is
surprisingly earnest .
still on the fence ? the chicago tribune ' s michael phillips calls the sequel
madly uneven
but says ,
this one ' s an easy predictive call . if you got your laughs out of ' ted , ' you ' ll likely come crawling back for ' ted 2 . ' it ' s not the same film , but it ' s same - adjacent .
a jury comprising efa members helena danielsson ( sweden ) , els vandevorst ( the netherlands ) , pierre - henri deleau ( france ) , jacob neiiendam ( denmark ) , alin tasciyan ( turkey ) , paulo portugal ( portugal ) and mihai chirilov ( romania ) selected the five films for the efa discovery award shortlist , together with members of fipresci , the international federation of film critics .
the high - pressure world of elite fashion modeling comes crashing down around an inexperienced young woman in the model , an intense psychological drama that enticingly feints toward obsessive thriller before settling into a cautionary character study . audiences accustomed to the glamour of high - fashion reality tv shows may find the film’s somber tone an adjustment , but the familiarity of the material should make it accessible in a wide variety of markets .
two striking things about this film , among others . an improbable couple is formed , a hulkish figure from the ranks of hypermasculinity meets a tiny widow from the country where many females are swept away from their innocence and cast into the tentacles of prostitution and slavery . and the middle aged western men that seek to acquire wives are strangely a vision of how tech made us closer and yet kept us far away .
dennis is so cute and shy that right from the start you root for him , hoping that he will be able to break free from his mother ' s emotional oppression . the film itself is very ' nordic ' and restrained , only the mother loses her temper near the end . it ' s not particularly memorable but it kind of made me wanna go to thailand someday ( and not for the prostitutes . . . ! )


the legend of the 7 golden vampires is a 1974 horror film produced by hammer studios and shaw brothers studio .

it is the ninth and final film in the hammer dracula series .

it was released in north america in an edited version as the seven brothers meet dracula , and alternatively known as the seven brothers and their one sister meet dracula .

the film is notable for having an actor other than christopher lee portray count dracula in the hammer dracula series ; before this film was made , lee left the role of the count .

the role of dracula is played by john forbes-robertson ( though the actor 's voice is dubbed by david de keyser ) .

the legend of the 7 golden vampires

the legend of the legend of the 7 golden vampires , or how hammer headed east .
listen to the legend of the 7 golden vampires : original motion picture soundtrack now .
the legend of the 7 golden vampires dvd is a fun hammer vampire movie with a kung fu twist .
see more the legend of the seven golden vampires ( dvd , . . .
the legend of the seven golden vampires dvd ( 2004 ) pete . . . the legend of the seven golden vampires dvd ( 2004 ) pete . . .
fanservice extra : the 7 golden vampires seem to really prefer their victims topless .
malevolent masked men : the 7 golden vampires ( golden masks ) and their mooks ( skull masks ) .
looking for movie tickets ? enter your location to see which movie theaters are playing the legend of the 7 golden vampires near you .
dracula and the 7 golden vampires ( hk title ) seven brothers meet dracula ( int . title ) les 7 vampires d ' or ( french title ) la légende des 7 vampires d ' or ( french title ) les sept vampires d ' or ( french title )
super rare hammer horror ! the legend of the 7 seven golden vampires 2 different versions of the film ! uncut asian release and u . s . release ! plus alot of extras !
hunter , i . q . “the legend of the seven golden vampires . ” postcolonial studies 3 . 1 ( 2000 ) : 81–87 .
shawscope ! the shaw brothers were the lords of hong kong action cinema . dig the homicidal hardware and krautrock groove of master of the flying guillotine or the shaws ' collaboration with britain ' s hammer house of horror , the legend of the 7 golden vampires .
classic hammer horror release on warner bros in 1974 . horror icon peter cushing narrates the plot of the 7 golden vampires while the music is composed by james bernard . track list : a1 the legend of ancient china a2 prologue a3 the seven golden vampires a4 the chinese embassy party a5 the street fight and the martial arts fight a6 the legend of ancient china b1 the legend of ancient china b2 preparation for the trek b3 the lovers b4 the vampires attack b5 romance blossoms b6 the destruction of the vampires b7 the lovers ' death b8 count dracula ' s death and disintegration b9 epilogue b10 the legend of ancient china i own nothing , all rights belong to their righful owners .
there is no denying that the legend of the 7 golden vampires is a fun blend of hong kong martial arts and hammer gothic horror . you would be hard pressed to find any other film in existence that features hopping vampires , peter cushing , and martial arts . therefore , the legend of the 7 golden vampires excels based purely on its uniqueness and blend of genres . unfortunately , the film is only able to represent the most superficial elements of each company , thereby lacking the strong points that made each company’s strongest films classics .
human sacrifice : the 7 golden vampires require sacrifices . much of their terror comes from how they ride the countryside at night and snatch young girls to that end .
chinese vampire : used as hopping mooks to the more athletic european - style golden vampires .
the r2 releases ( apart from spain ) have the better ( anamorphic and proper ) transfers , but the r0 us release has additional extras & the shorter us - version of the film . this film is also known as : - 7 brothers versus dracula - 7 brothers and a sister meet dracula - 7 brothers of dracula - 7 golden vampires - dracula and the seven golden vampires - the last warning - seven golden vampires : the last warning it ' s rumoured that the shaw brothers ' edit of the film ran 110 minutes , but if this version exists it not turned up on any home video format .
the original album is now a collectible item , but fans also have the opportunity to hear it on the anchor bay dvd release of the legend of the 7 golden vampires , were it is included as an extra . in 2012 , bsx released the album alongside the original , unadulterated score on cd .
dvd title
la legende des 7 vampires d ' or
. encoded r2 / 4 & 5 .
dracula is opposed by joseph van helsing who was studying the legend of the seven golden vampires . the chinese vampires and van helsing ' s vampire hunters are depicted as martial artists , following the kung - fu fad of the time . but the two leads ' fighting skills are underwhelming .
tags : anchor bay . shaw brothers , don houghton , hammer horror , james bernard , legend of the 7 golden vampires , little shoppe of horrors , peter cushing , philip martell , roy skeggs , shih szu , soundtrack lp , the seven brothers meet dracula , warner brothers
i love legend of the 7 golden vampires . this for me , is the only genuine cult movie , that hammer had anything to do with . the whole thing smacks of a wonderful desperation on the part of hammer . i enjoyed reading the contextual background information you included brian , and also appreciated the detailed perspective of the shaw brothers side of things , an aspect of the production which often gets overlooked .
by the time of the legend of the 7 golden vampir es in 1974 hammer studios was dying . thanks to the vérité horrors of films like night of the living dead ( 1968 ) , their unique brand of gothic chills seemed archaic - as dusty as one of dracula ' s cobwebbed tombs . indeed , golden vampires would mark the last appearance of their erstwhile count and hammer would soon after stagger into the graveyard of television and , finally , oblivion . golden vampires is filled with the kind of desperation akin to someone in their death throes and the assimilation of kung fu ( then all the rage ) reeks of a company all out of ideas . but despite this golden vampires actually has a lot to offer . in fact , it is one of hammer ' s best films of the 1970s and remains a fitting send off for one of the giants of british cinema .
slashed throat : hsi tien - en in the flashback , who manages to destroy one of the golden vampires , had his throat cut by the swords of two others .
even though i spent most of this review bashing the legend of the 7 golden vampires , i still recommend it to the uninitiated . the film is a fun historical gem in which two legendary and iconic companies teamed up to produce a film that offered each of their stars and genres . while most definitely a far cry from each company’s best , legend is still a blast to watch if you turn off your brain and soak in the b - movie goodness . if anything , the legend of the 7 golden vampires should be on your viewing list come next halloween if you need a little action to go with your horror . just don’t expect anything elegant or thematic . this is hammer / shaw schlock through and through , courtesy of the year 1974 .
the legend of the 7 golden vampires was one of hammer’s final horror films until the company’s recent revival , appearing in 1974 . it marked the final appearance of dracula in a hammer film ( and for the first time , the character was not played by christopher lee ) and was also peter cushing’s last movie for the company ( though he did appear in an episode of hammer house of horror in 1980 ) .
the legend of the 7 golden vampires opens with a prologue set in 1804 in transylvania where a man named kah tracks down the infamous count dracula . kah begs dracula to revive the seven golden vampires in china so that their reign of terror may continue . dracula agrees , but only if he can take over kah’s body in order to escape his castle . the film than fast - forwards 100 years to chung king , china where professor van helsing ( peter cushing ) lectures on a chinese legend concerning the seven golden vampires . one of the students , hsi ching ( david chiang ) , reveals his relation to the man in helsing’s story and proclaims the legend to be true . ching and his seven brothers offer for helsing , as well as his son and their new friend vanessa ( julie ege ) , the chance to travel to the village of pang kwei with them in order to destroy the golden vampires once and for all .
the legend of the 7 golden vampires was hammer ' s last ditch attempt to bring fresh blood ( pun intended or not ? you decide ) into their ever popular ( certainly stateside who routinely insisted on including the count - and if possible christopher lee - in their vampire films ) yet running on empty dracula series .
dracula : who dares to disturb the sanctity of count dracula . dracula : who are you . kah : my lord , my name is kah . i am the high priest of the 7 golden vampires in ping kwei in the province of szechwan in china . when the vampires walk . . . my temple was the centre of all . . . dracula : . . .
: my lord , my name is kah . i am the high priest of the 7 golden vampires in ping kwei in the province of szechwan in china . when the vampires walk . . . my temple was the centre of all power in the area , the populace bore allegiance to me . but now . . . my lord . the vampires sleep , and the people go their own ways . the power is lost , i have travelled many moons . seeking the castle dracula , i look to thee . for thy help . ressurect the 7 . . .
the hybrid genre film , the legend of the seven golden vampires , incorporates the genre conventions of kung fu and those associated with dracula . lee analyzes this unique hong kong - uk transnational horror co - production in which count dracula goes to early twentieth - century china , and van helsing ( peter cushing ) teams up with chinese martial arts brothers to fight against seven golden vampires , and ultimately dracula , who takes over the body of the chinese villain , kahn . reading the legend of the seven golden vampires entails that we should situate the film in terms of its geopolitical and generic positions in hong kong and the uk film history and legacy . lee provides much - needed critical insight into the politics and poetics of transnational co - productions .
. legend of the seven golden vampires , the very first horror kung fu combo , falls somewhere in the middle . it ' s definitely an original take on a time worn tale and one that proved to be one of the most tumultuous , headache inducing experiences for both east and west .
dvd title
die 7 goldenen vampire
. encoded r2 / 4 & 5 .
in 1804 , in transylvania , a chinese walker heads to the castle of dracula . he awakes dracula from his tomb and explains that he is kah , the high priest of the seven golden vampires in china that are powerless . he needs dracula to restore their power and the vampire takes kah ' s body and image . one hundred years later , professor laurence van helsing gives a lecture at a chinese university about the legend of the seven golden vampires but the students leave the auditorium finding that the all the exposition is superstition . however the student hsi ching meets van helsing at home and tells that the legend is true and he knows the location of the vampires . van helsing accepts to travel to the village in the countryside to help to destroy the vampires and the wealthy widow mrs . vanessa buren , who has befriend his son leyland van helsing , offers to sponsor the expedition provided she may go with them . soon they embark with seven siblings skilled in kung - fu in a dangerous expedition to destroy the golden vampires and dracula .
in 1804 , in transylvania , a chinese walker heads to the castle of dracula . he awakes dracula from his tomb and explains that he is kah , the high priest of the seven golden vampires in china that are powerless . he needs dracula to restore their power and the vampire takes kah ' s body and image . one hundred years later , professor laurence van helsing gives a lecture at a chinese university about the legend of the seven golden vampires but the students leave the auditorium finding that the all the exposition is superstition . however the student hsi ching meets van helsing at home and tells that the legend is true and he knows the location of the vampires . van helsing accepts to travel to the village in the countryside to help to destroy the vampires and the wealthy widow mrs . vanessa buren , who has befriend his son leyland van helsing , offers to sponsor the expedition provided she may go with them . soon they embark with seven siblings skilled in kung - fu in a dangerous expedition to destroy the golden vampires and dracula .
peter cushing is my favorite van helsing and in this film it is a totally welcomed change of just battling the evil dracula . van helsing takes on the legend of the 7 golden vampires that are martial arts experts whom also have the power of calling up dead victims to fight the undead . a number of very exciting battles against the dead makes this film a classic vampire feature . the hammer producers also weave into the film the king of vampires , the count himself , dracula . the makeup is rather swallow at times but the story and action make you forget the small problems . cushing still swings a deadly fiery weapon as he battles to the death the unliving .
hammer flew their crew to out to hong kong in 1973 to shoot two films back - to - back with the shaws ; legend of the 7 golden vampires and a stuart whitman action vehicle called shatter , a film so problematic its director vowed never to make another again . while golden vampires was the more palatable product of the two , its shoot was equally tough . the chinese and british crews had wildly different ways of working and the added language barrier ensured an air of tension and confusion throughout that , unfortunately , feeds into the film . it ' s a shame because , at the heart of david houghton ' s screenplay is the spark of a great idea that just never quite catches fire .
the legend of the 7 golden vampires is a fun martial arts film co - produced by the hong kong based shaw brothers and the british centric hammer pictures . while most action fans are familiar with the shaw brothers , some may not be as familiar with hammer . hammer pictures was a british production company that flourished in the late 50s and 60s with their colorful and gothic horror films that made stars out of christopher lee and peter cushing . technicolor classics of theirs include horror of dracula , the curse of frankenstein , and the mummy , all starring lee and cushing .
of all hammer ' s attempts to stay relevant to cinema audiences of the early 1970s , nothing else they churned out comes off as quite so wacky as 1974 ' s the legend of the seven . . .
zombie army ! apparently , in china , the vampires can summon zombies . i guess
kill it with fire : prof . van helsing makes good use of this trope , first by killing one of the seven golden vampires by accidentally sticking a torch into it , and later giving the same fate to some mooks in the finale .
despite the package’s flaws , i’m not recommending viewers steer clear of the set . it does offer anamorphic upgrades of dracula prince of darkness and legend of the 7 golden vampires ( while ab’s disc of the frankenstein film is still recommended , it is out of print and pricey ) , and it can be had very cheaply ( it’s $ 6 . 99 before shipping at urltoken right now ) . purchasing it also lets millennium know that there is interest in the hammer library , and hopefully they might upgrade all three titles for future release ( hopefully with extras including the dracula commentary ) . ( eric cotenas )
a transylvanian prologue set in 1804 introduces us to an evil taoist priest named kah who has found the castle of count dracula ( played by john forbes - robertson in what amounts to a glorified cameo ) . the vampire’s vampire has somehow been magically imprisoned . it ' s not clearly explained why but let ' s go with it . let’s also just go with how kah wants dracula ' s help in restoring the glory of the 7 golden vampires ( a group of ancient bloodsuckers who have been terrorising a chinese village for centuries but whose powers are weakening ) and how dracula decides that he will possess kah ' s body and become the 7 golden vampires ' leader himself . . .
hammer eventually made attempts to revitalize their production company as gothic horror went out of style in the 70s . therefore , hammer got in on the martial arts craze when they teamed up with the shaw brothers for the legend of the 7 golden vampires . the two companies set out to produce an action film that would offer the best of what each studio had to offer , as well as two of their biggest stars : peter cushing ( horror of dracula ) and david chiang ( vengeance ) . even though this action / horror hybrid is a blast to watch , the film lacks the distinct qualities that made the best hammer and shaw films classics .
count dracula journeys to a remote chinese village in the guise of a warlord to support six vampires who are dispirited after the loss of a seventh member of their cult . . .
tcm will play some of these at times but its hit and miss . i was flicking thru the channels a few weeks ago and caught the golden voyage of sinbad .
hammer films meets chop - socky hong kong . while lecturing in the far east , professor van helsing ( peter cushing ) tells his students of a doomed village in china that becomes cursed every year at the time of the 7th moon . van helsing is persuaded by a family of kung fu experts to rid the village of the 7 vampires that torment its citizens .
to be honest , i ' m not sure quite why they stopped going down the path of present day dracula as they had done with dracula ad 1972 and the satanic rites of dracula . but , they did and in 1974 , just one year after , they did the time warp again , taking us a little bit further in their vampire chronology to the early 1900s and further still , to hong kong and an unusual collaboration with chinese martial arts film makers , the shaw brothers . taking the ever reliable peter cushing along for the ride as van helsing once more for the legend of the 7 golden vampires .
dvd title
kung fu contra los 7 vampiros de oro
. appears to be a ntsc to pal transfer .
professor van helsing travels to a remote chinese village to defeat the legendary seven golden vampires . fortunately , he takes seven kung fu experts with him - and their various fighting skills are sorely needed .
angel big bad buffy buffy speak buffy the vampire slayer dollhouse dr . horrible ' s sing - along blog emmy female protagonist feminism firefly front row golden globe hush joss whedon mash monster of the week much ado about nothing naomi alderman nebula awards once more with feeling radio 4 roseanne sarah michelle gellar slayer teen choice awards the avengers the cabin in the woods the donna reed show the gift the golden girls tv tropes twilight upn vampires wb writer
roy ward baker has directed some of the finest examples of hammer films style of gothic horror . some of these are considered classics
tagged with : angel big bad buffy buffy speak buffy the vampire slayer dollhouse dr . horrible ' s sing - along blog emmy female protagonist feminism firefly front row golden globe hush joss whedon mash monster of the week much ado about nothing naomi alderman nebula awards once more with feeling radio 4 roseanne sarah michelle gellar slayer teen choice awards the avengers the cabin in the woods the donna reed show the gift the golden girls tv tropes twilight upn vampires wb writer
after the titles , we cut to 1904 chungking , china , where professor van helsing ( the ever - reliable peter cushing ) tries to relate the stories of dracula to incredulous students . he demonstrates his own knowledge of the seven golden vampires , masked and medallioned vampires on horseback , with an army of zombie - like soldiers terrorising villages and taking virgin women to drain their blood , until one farmer was brave enough to steal the medallion off of one vampire , killing him…
the legend of the seven golden vampires is not perfect . it is at times over serious , the effects creak and it misses christopher lee as the count ( here replaced by john forbes robertson ) . but it is amazing how influential the film became . it can be seen as a precursor to john carpenter ' s big trouble in little china and the fusion of east and west seen in the matrix . in china it spurred a whole subgenre of supernatural kung fu epics , such as mr vampire ( 1985 ) that still continues today . the film may have been mocked by critics , but its legend lives on - even though it failed to keep hammer from its early grave .
and of course , if you ' re a martial arts fan you ' ll love the balletic dance of death that the brothers and their sister undertake when battling the vampires , the undead and numerous mountain bandits throughout .
in 1804 , a man named kah awakens dracula from his slumber and asks him to help bring his masters , the seven golden vampires , back to power . dracula instead decides to take the whole operation over and sets out for china .
if you really want a good chinese vampire flick , i ' d stick with ricky lau ' s seminal mr vampire ( 1985 ) but legend of the 7 golden vampires , while not the dream project it could be , is definitely an odder prospect and a unique one too . it ' s not quite mad enough that you ' d invite friends round on a friday night but it ' ll entertain any hammer or shaw brothers fan through a sunday afternoon hangover . and at least , unlike dracula ad 1972 , it does spare us the upsetting sight of any flared trousers or paisley blouses .
if you really want a good chinese vampire flick , i ' d stick with ricky lau ' s seminal mr . vampire ( 1985 ) but legend of the 7 golden vampires , while not the dream project it could be , is definitely an odder prospect and a unique one too . it ' s not quite mad enough that you ' d invite friends round on a friday night but it ' ll entertain any hammer or shaw brothers fan through a sunday afternoon hangover . and at least , unlike dracula ad 1972 , it does spare us the upsetting sight of any flared trousers or paisley blouses .
the legend of the 7 golden vampires 1974 david chiang - peter cushing - shih szu . directed by : roy ward baker . a . k . a . the seven brothers vs dracula . kung fu ghouls . plot : count dracula journies to a remote chinese village in the guise of a . visita blog - out ! ! - - { } - - ¡¡visita blog - out ! ! theatrical trailer for this horror film produced by hammer studios and shaw brothers studio . it was released in north america in an edited version as the seven . i don ' t own anything on this video . all credits go to james rolfe and cinemassacre .
zhang , zhen . “bodies in the air : the magic of science and the fate of the early martial arts film in china . ”
always been a favorite of mine , its so different ! plus , its fast paced , and it has kung fu ! plus the most unexpected things happen . i preferred the chinese monk dracula to the english actor , if they weren ' t going to have lee on it , they might as well had simply used a chinese vampire monk , it would have been better . i love the seven titular vampires , they look like these weird vampire zombie things . . . and that army of darkness they resurrect ? awesome stuff ! there are two versions of this film , but my favorite is the one called legend of the seven golden vampires as opposed to the seven brothers meet dracula . somehow this review feels perfectly in place on this blog ! shaw brothers kung - fu plus vampires ! great mix .
while lecturing in china , van helsing agrees to help seven kung fu trained siblings reclaim their ancestral mountain village , now the domain of seven powerful vampires and their army of undead slaves .
r0 the hammer collection america - anchor bay entertainment - no cuts - includes the original british version ( 88 : 57 ntsc ) and the alternate us version ,
the 7 brothers meet dracula
( 74 : 54 ntsc ) .
count dracula journeys to a remote chinese village in the guise of a warlord to support six vampires who are dispirited after the loss of a seventh member of their cult . at the same time , vampire hunter prof . van helsing happens to be lecturing in the country and is persuaded by villagers to help them fight this curse of the ages .
this is a typical movie from the 1970s . back then it would have been horror . now it is a mix of vampires , martial arts and light sex .
dvd synopsis and information : hammer ' s original uncut version . professor van helsing ( peter cushing ) and count dracula ( john forbes - robinson ) meet again in this kung fu horror spectacular set in the village of ping kuei . after learning about the seven golden vampires of the village , hsi ching , vanessa beren and mai kwei offer to guide van helsing and his son to ping kuei to free it from the curse of count dracula .
their masks and swords . the undead do not concern themselves with the possible dangers of exposing young children to massive amounts of
sanjek , david . “twilight of the monsters : the english horror film 1968–1975 . ”
the fight sequences , while manic and bloody , are never particularly exciting or gripping . besides an impressive bout between the seven brothers and a group of men in an open field , legend features several uneven fights where characters either defeat their enemies with ease or fall at their hands conveniently . this unfair balance deprives the film of any danger or stakes ( get it , stakes ) and makes the characters’ fates all the less worrisome . stronger action sequences , as well as more finely tuned characters , would have strengthened legend’s action / horror hybrid proceedings .
the cast is a lot of fun , as the film features both peter cushing and david chiang in dual lead roles . cushing portrays van helsing once again for hammer as a man who has decided to move to china to look for the seven golden vampires . however , he gets more than he bargained for when he ultimately realizes that dracula himself is behind the raising of the seven vampires . the film itself has no true connection to any previous hammer dracula film , even though cushing returns as helsing . even dracula himself is recast , with john forbes - robertson taking over for christopher lee . dracula fans should be warned though that the lord of darkness only appears in the film for mere minutes .
church , david . “one on top of the other : lucio fulci , transnational film industries , and the retrospective construction of the italian horror canon . ”
whilst travelling around asia to spread the word on vampirism , professor van helsing ( peter cushing ) is approached by hsi ching ( david chiang ) , a man in desperate need of help . his remote village has fallen victim to the curse of the seven golden vampires , an ancient evil who desecrate all and kidnap buxom young virgins for sacrificial rites . van helsing , famous for his destruction of the arch vampire dracula , accepts and along with his son leyland ( robin stewart ) and the heiress vanessa buren ( julie ege ) journeys across china to wipe out the vampires once and for all . but the forces of darkness are also moving and the seven are growing in strength , thanks in part to their new master . . . count dracula himself .
wood , robin . “burying the undead : the use and obsolescence of count dracula . ”
all the students leave – except for one , hsi ching ( david chiang ) , who believes the story – because the farmer was his grandfather , and hsi shows van helsing the medallion . hsi , his brothers and sister mai kwei ( shih szu ) , all experts in martial arts and differing weapons , have sought van helsing’s aid , because the golden vampires are on the rise again . van helsing agrees , as does his son leyland ( robin stewart ) , who has an eye for mai kwei , and vanessa buren ( julie ege ) , a wealthy scandinavian widow who funds the expedition looking for some adventure . the party leaves the city , momentarily distracted by some thugs sent by a local warlord insulted by vanessa buren’s rejection of his advances . but soon they’re deep in the countryside . and deep in trouble ; the remaining golden vampires are getting ready for them…
i would have loved to have seen , kali , devil bride of dracula get made , ( perhaps with some help from harryhausen ) but i’ll have to settle for the 7 golden vampires . this is the one hammer horror film i have not seen , its on my list but i was hoping to catch it on tv . which reminds me , are we getting ripped - off with cable channels , or what ? i got 300 channels and i rarely see an old hammer film , godzilla flick , or classic 50’s sci - fi / horror movie .
meanwhile , van helsing ' s son leyland has upset a local chungking gangster by vying for ( and winning ) the affections of vanessa buren , a rich and beautiful scandinavian widow ( julie ege ) . this provides not just a pressing impetus for the party to leave chungking but , in the form of vanessa , gives them the money and resource to do so , setting in place a grand old adventure . as our merry mismatched band travel the country , you ' d expect characters to develop and things to happen but this is where 7 golden vampires somehow loses the plot entirely . a huge section of the film is just people walking from one place to the next , spouting clunky exposition . there are several fights but nothing ever feels like it has any narrative consequence until the very end of the film where suddenly everyone starts martyring themselves and it goes from 0 to 100 then ends .
a study of hong kong cinema in the seventies , the 8th hong kong international film festival .
johnny alucard raises count dracula from the dead in london in 1972 . the count goes after the descendants of van helsing .
one thing is for certain - - the shaw ' s were able to instill an epic feel that hammer couldn ' t have done at the time . compared to the other strange vampire picture from the company , captain kronos ( 1972 ) , the shaw - hammer co - production is the better film in my opinion . kronos has a tv movie feel and outside of some fun ideas and quirky moments , the action pales when compared to baker ' s movie . golden vampires looks like a hellish version of seven samurai ( 1954 ) while kronos is simply bland .
humble farmer decides to save daughter from vampire sacrifice . farmer goes to vampire hangout , frees daughter , but the vampires go apeshit . farmer makes it out of the building - - but wait ! what ' s that coming out of the ground ? it ' s a rotting human hand ! zombie !
in its eagerness to cover all the bases , the film throws in the topless maiden victims of the vampires who are drained into a big vat and a streak of tear - jerking tragedy ( when ege becomes a vampire , the hero impales her and himself on the same stake ) but it boils down to yet another confrontation between the indomitable cushing and an arrogant , soon - to - crumble cloaked count .
the effects are feeble at best ( yeah , and i bet you thought the idea of rubber bats on strings was just a joke , right ? ) and there’s only a trickle of blood here and there ( though they make up for it with scenes of the undead rising from the graves en masse ) . the vampires and zombies disintegrate in a good old fashioned way , and we do get some boob shots . tastefully done , of course .
it ' s hard not to like this film , for pure kitsch value alone ; witnessing the mishmash of kung fu and vampires , and more than a nod to the seven samurai too . i ' m sure that with the mania for kung fu films at the time here in the west it was equally engaging when it came out for the cinema goers and horror fans of 1974 . but it wasn ' t enough to save the vampire series , nor hammer itself which continued to trudge on aimlessly for a handful of films until the end of the decade .
the dawn of the 21st century signaled a comeback for aussie horror movies . a string of releases did solid business on video in the us : the inventive slasher cut ( 2000 ) , the supernatural hellion ( 2002 ) , the murder mystery lost things ( 2003 ) and the psychological terror of visitors ( 2003 ) . the year 2003 witnessed the surprise success of the zombie comedy undead , which earned a rare , albeit limited , theatrical release in america .
jermaine fowler and omari hardwick of sorry to bother you take us back in time to the worst jobs of their careers .
from the front ( and back ) seats of drive in ' s across the nation , to the sleaze pit theaters of new york ' s famed 42nd street , to the comforts of home watching fantastic cinema on the late show , remember those classic ( and sometimes classless ) films of old and even discover some new ones .
hooks and crooks : some of the undead mooks attack leland with chinese hook swords during the cave ambush .
directed by : roy ward baker . a . k . a . the seven brothers vs dracula . kung fu ghouls . plot : count dracula journies to a remote chinese village in the guise of a warlord to support six vampires who are dispirited after the loss of a seventh member of their cult . at the same time , vampire hunter prof . van helsing happens to be lecturing in the country and is persuaded by villagers to help them fight this curse of the ages . own it on dvd ! : urltoken
hammer studios delve into the oriental art of kung fu in this coda to their dracula series . professor van helsing ( peter cushing ) finds himself battling the disciples of his old enemy dracula when he ventures into 19th century china to combat a deadly plague . aided by a family of martial arts warriors , van helsing discovers that the disease transforms bats into deadly sword - wielding vampires .
professor laurence van helsing travels to china to speak about his ordeals with the supernatural and discovers through an interested student that count dracula is alive and well and lording over a peasant village miles away from civilization . taking his son and a wealthy lady traveler who finances the expedition , van helsing joins up with an honorable , yet vengeful chinese warrior and his seven brothers , one of which is a feisty female fighter . they make their way to the village to protect it from dracula and the dreaded golden vampires and their army of undead followers .
buffy was one of the first shows to understand where the medium could go ( for people who were not just casual viewers ) . it took a show that could have been a simple monster of the week show into one with growth and great story arcs . these story arcs took the form , generally speaking , of the ‘big bad’ . in each season , there would be one main antagonist . there would continue to be monster of the week type episodes throughout the season , but the story would also be building to a major fight with the ‘big bad’ for the end of the season . this mixture of the small with the big meant that the fights could mean more and allowed for greater character growth for the main characters .
this movie also has something that kronos doesn ' t have and that ' s peter cushing . the gentle old man of horror always brings something to even the lower level pictures he appeared in . if he was miserable on set , it doesn ' t show . cushing was 60 when this film went into production in 1973 and gets down with some kung fu of his own during the battle royal at the conclusion . he battles the golden vampires , their zombie slaves and then finally dracula . van helsing had more to do here than probably all his other ventures combined .
. madison , wc : the university of wisconsin press . 1987 . print .
like nearly every international co - production , legend faced many problems from the very start . the english actors and technicians arrived in hong kong expecting sound studios , but the shaw brothers preferred to film without sound , dubbing dialogue later for whatever market they were shipping out to . veteran director roy ward baker’s ability to direct the action sequences was questioned , and the chinese actors had difficulty reading the english lines . chairman of hammer films , michael carreras , would later remark of the finished film , “let’s just say that east did not meet west” .
the ending might suck , but the rest is made of pure and utter win . saw a few familiar faces in there of other kung fu movies i like .
the highlight of this film early on is watching a vampire being repulsed by the statue of the chubby buddah . it ' s laughable . then later , peter cushing explains that vampires are not just afraid of crucifixes , but any holy symbol .
like your lord buddah
he says . hammer always had a way of coming up with a cool , original ending . . . a new way to kill dracula in each film . this ending was a bit of a letdown . too simple a death . but still , it ' a enjoyable . hammer atmosphere has never been matched . the fog , the music , the darkness , the old castles , the 1800 transylvanian villages . i ' ll take that mood anyday instead of blade or the lost boys .
this selected list of 24 notorious examples of cinematic sex , violence , brutality and blatant unwholesomeness is a companion piece to the . . .
the dark arts v martial arts . . . . . . a masterpiece of horror
i raced through the rest of the seasons ( and quickly had my mother joining me on the sofa as i did ) . before long , i was at the local dvd store , making an ass of myself as i tried to hold seven stacked seasons between my arms and my chin , only to have them tumble spectacularly to the floor as i reached the checkout . stupid amounts of money later , i was the proud owner of the full run of buffy . after i moved out of home , i bought the complete series again for my mother . everyone needs a little buffy in their lives .
in new zealand , however , the story was quite the opposite . the late ' 80s and early ' 90s witnessed the rise of kiwi director peter jackson , whose lord of the rings films would later turn him into one of the biggest filmmakers in the world . jackson made a name for himself in the horror genre with the graphic , campy
splatter
fare bad taste ( 1988 ) , meet the feebles ( 1989 ) and dead alive ( 1992 ) . his first american co - production , 1996 ' s the frighteners , remained in the horror - comedy vein , but without all of the gore . jackson ' s success no doubt opened the door for a new generation of kiwi genre filmmakers .
a hundred years later , professor van helsing ( peter cushing ) is lecturing in china , but is about to leave as his vampire theories have been met with disbelief . he then meets hsi ching ( david chiang ) , who tells him that his home village is under the golden vampires ' terror , and asks his help . van helsing agrees and sets out with hsi ching ' s brothers and sister to the village .
we have this peppy , pretty little blonde who is a ninja badass . it was a little bit ridiculous at times , right ? she had to fight vampires while keeping up with her homework and trying out for the cheerleading squad . the story was often dark , but at the end of the day , these were teenagers . teenagers who worried about boys and being cool . the show always knew what it was and was never afraid to mix the silly with the dark . thank god it did . one of my favourite examples of this is from the season three episode ‘helpless’ :
dracula is in this movie presumably because that was the deal but the story is independent of him and if you cut the first and last scenes he wouldn ' t be in it . that would be just as well since the actor is a very weak substitute for christopher lee . but it doesn ' t matter to the movie . it ' s silly but it has a lot of good things in it . it ' s well shot ( although indifferently edited ) , the scenes of the vampires and their zombie army are genuinely creepy , the action scenes are fun , all the women are very attractive - - for some reason the vampires first strip off their blouses ; maybe they moonlight , or sunlight , as modeling agents - - and the occasional contrasts between the christian and buddhist religions are intriguing ( and might have been expanded into a general theme for the movie ) . the tape i saw included both the original version and the shorter american version , which is a shambles . what instructions did the cutter have : mess it up ?
three distinguished english gentlemen accidentally resurrect count dracula , killing a disciple of his in process . the count seeks to avenge his dead servant , by making the trio die in the hands of their own children .
wha ? sanctity ? sanctity as in
the state or quality of being holy , sacred , or saintly .
i thought that was the last thing dracula would want to relax in the middle of .
go behind the scenes of the mission : impossible movies , check out the latest videos and trailers , and see which spy movies topped the box office in our mission : impossible guide .
. for many years this picture was given the cold shoulder by most hammer fans . the plot and the preponderance of chinese and kung fu in the film seem to turn people off who are more accustomed to the more familiar european settings . still , a lot of those same people
the lowest - priced item in unused and unworn condition with absolutely no signs of wear .
as ever though , it ' s the peerless peter cushing who impresses ; rising above the poor lines and substandard material with a gentlemanly professional air . he even manages to convince us in one scene where he details that the vampires of europe are subdued by the sign of the crucifix , whereas here in the orient , it will be the image of the lord buddha . . . just as well he didn ' t have to knock together one of those impromptu as he did so many times with the crucifix in previous films ! it ' s also interesting to note the costume he wears here , as i ' m fairly certain it ' s the same one he wore in the doctor who films some ten years prior , which given that cushing would occasionally buy the costumes he wore for films would not surprise me in the least . i fear this outfit was ruined for this film however , as there ' s a rather distressing and possibly accidental moment where cushing , repelling the vampires , falls into the campfire . it ' s cut away from very quickly , leaving the audience to wonder and fear for him , and the jacket is charred and torn in later scenes .
the plot finds an excuse to send such hammer staples as dr van helsing ( peter cushing ) and his arch - enemy count dracula ( john forbes - robertson replacing christopher lee ) to china , where they are mixed up in an extremely weird rerun of the magnificent seven ( us , 1960 ) , in which the hsi family , martially - skilled siblings , are sworn to protect a remote village from the periodic ravages of the eponymous golden - masked eastern bloodsuckers and their zombie hordes .
throughout its run , the critical reception of buffy was excellent . although it was nominated for a number of awards , it won few . ‘hush’ , from season four , was nominated for an emmy ( despite most of the episode having no dialogue ) , but didn’t win . the much - lauded musical episode , ‘once more with feeling’ , was ‘accidentally’ left off the emmy nomination voting ballots . it did win ‘most memorable moment’ for the season five finale , ‘the gift’ , however . buffy herself , aka sarah michelle gellar received several nominations for her portrayal of the titular character , including a golden globe , teen choice award , and nebula award – but she failed to win . despite the show’s failure to win many awards , it is so widely viewed as one of the greatest tv shows of all time ( and appears on many such lists ) , it has also spawned a number of academic studies .
well as you have been reading the reviews of this film , two definite trends seem to emerge . one is that this film has been critically panned for a couple of decades , and , two , this film seems to be genuinely liked by those that take actual effort to watch it . the film surely has its faults , but the overall effect it creates diminishes its shortcomings . the film is about a small town in china that has been ravaged for many years by a band of seven vampires . professor van helsing , giving a lecture in china , is approached by someone from that village that requests van helsing ' s assistance . the rest of the story concerns van helsing , his son , a lady benefactor , and seven chinese brothers and their talented sister trekking across china to get to the village and face the seven deadly vampires in the charge of the one and only european count dracula . along the way , we the audience are treated to some first - rate martial arts , scary atmospheric settings which include zombie servants rising from fog - filled cemetaries , and the ultimate climax of good fighting evil . all in all it is one exciting piece of entertainment . the story at the end is a bit weak , as is the character of van helsing ' s son , who seems to manage to stay alive despite being a weakling .