What are five totally distinct, creative ways to describe the usefulness of a broken stapler.

Even though it may be broken, a stapler may still retain its usefulness. Consider these alternative uses for a broken stapler:
1. Hammer - the solid metal frame is sturdy enough to pound a nail.
2. Paper weight - even if you can't use staples to hold your papers together, the stapler can keep them on your desk.
3. Weapon - Whip it back and forth as a flail or throw it to dent someone's skull.
4. Door stop - hold the door open by wedging it between the door and frame.
5. Compass - magnetize the frame and never get lost again!