Write a April Fools' joke for a data platform company

At [Company Name], we've been working on data for many years to solve the problems of storing and analyzing it reliably at scale. These problems are really hard though, so many enterprises struggle with them. This is why we are now introducing LLM-DB: a database based on an AI model that simply generates new data for you if it loses any. LLM-DB dramatically lowers the storage costs over existing methods, while giving each executive in your company exactly the data they want to see. Try it today at [URL].