Writing prompt: Sharing

Student essay:
Sharing something with others is a good way to show your kindness. I have a sharing experience.
Last month, my friends and I went to Happy Valley to play. The time passed quickly. It was the time for lunch. We felt hungry. So we went to KFC. However, the food was too expensive for us to buy too much. So I gave them some of my food and they gave me some food as well. It was so delicious! We ate and talked happily. I was extremely happy, and I thought sharing is good for us.
I think everyone shouldn't be so selfish, and we ought to share something with others.

Corrected essay:
Sharing something with others is a good way to show your kindness. I had a sharing experience.
Last month, my friends and I went to Happy Valley to play. The time passed quickly. It was the time for lunch. We felt hungry, so we went to KFC. However, the food was too expensive for us to buy too much. So I gave them some of my food and they gave me some food as well. It was so delicious! We ate and talked happily. I was extremely happy, and I thought sharing was good for us.
I think everyone shouldn't be so selfish, and we ought to share something with others.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: I have a sharing experience.

correct_sentence: I had a sharing experience.

error: have
correction: had
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: ① Verb Tense Error: According to the context, the experience happened last month, which is a past event. In English, when describing actions that occurred in the past, the predicate verb needs to be in the past tense. In the original sentence, "have" is in the simple present tense form, which does not meet the tense requirement, and should be changed to the past tense form 『had』 to maintain tense consistency and fit the context.
error_sentence: We felt hungry. So we went to KFC.
correct_sentence: We felt hungry, so we went to KFC.
error: . So
correction: , so
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: ① Punctuation Error: According to English punctuation rules, the two independent clauses "We felt hungry" and "we went to KFC" have a causal relationship and cannot be separated by a period. To make the sentence coherent and grammatically correct, the period 〈.〉 should be changed to a comma 〈,〉; ② Case Error: In English grammar, when "so" is used as a conjunction and is not at the beginning of a sentence, its first letter should not be capitalized. In the original sentence, "So" with a capitalized first letter does not conform to the rules and should be changed to lowercase 『so』 to ensure proper writing.
error_sentence: I was extremely happy, and I thought sharing is good for us.

correct_sentence: I was extremely happy, and I thought sharing was good for us.

error: is
correction: was
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: ① Verb Tense Error: According to the principle of tense consistency in object clauses in English grammar, when the main clause is in the past tense, the subordinate clause should also use the corresponding past tense. In the original sentence, the main clause verb "thought" is in the past tense, and the predicate verb 〈is〉 in the subordinate clause is in the simple present tense, which does not meet the tense requirement and should be changed to the past tense form 『was』 to maintain tense consistency.