Writing prompt: My Life in the Future

Student essay:
My hometown is Chengdu. Our future is depending on us. I should think about my life in the future. I want to be a doctor in the future. Because I can help many unabled.My parents will be proud of this. People's death is depending on me. I want to buy a house in Chengdu, because it's convenient. I can watch many beautiful views. I will find a boyfriend who lives in Chengdu, and his parents are along with. And now, I'm a senior high school's student. Nevertheless my grade is very bad. I hope I can become work hard in the future, and it's very helpful for me. When I was 24, I must be alone. It makes me brave!

Corrected essay:
My hometown is Chengdu. Our future is depending on us. I should think about my life in the future. I want to be a doctor in the future. Because I can help many disabled people. My parents will be proud of this. People's death is depending on me. I want to buy a house in Chengdu, because it's convenient. I can watch many beautiful views. I will find a boyfriend who lives in Chengdu, and his parents are along with him. And now, I'm a senior high school student. Nevertheless my grades are very bad. I hope I can become hard-working in the future, and it will be very helpful for me. When I am 24, I must be alone. It will make me brave!

Error analysis:
error_sentence: Because I can help many unabled.
correct_sentence: Because I can help many disabled people.
error: unabled
correction: disabled people
error_type: PoS Confusion Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: ① PoS Confusion Error: According to English grammar rules, 〈unabled〉 is an incorrect form of adjective; the correct adjective form for "disabled" in English is 『disabled』; ② Noun Error: According to English expression habits, a noun needs to be added after an adjective to form a complete noun phrase; the original sentence lacks a noun, so 『people』 should be added to form 『disabled people』 (disabled people) to accurately express the meaning.
error_sentence: I will find a boyfriend who lives in Chengdu, and his parents are along with.
correct_sentence: I will find a boyfriend who lives in Chengdu, and his parents are along with him.
correction: him
error_type: Pronoun Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Pronoun Error: According to English grammar rules, the prepositional phrase 〈along with〉 requires an object pronoun to indicate the accompanying object; the original sentence lacks an object, and the meaning is incomplete. Therefore, 『him』 needs to be added as the prepositional object to clarify the accompanying relationship between 〈his parents〉 and 〈boyfriend〉, making the sentence structure complete and the meaning clear.
error_sentence: And now, I'm a senior high school's student.
correct_sentence: And now, I'm a senior high school student.
error: 's
error_type: Noun Possessive Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Noun Possessive Error: According to English grammar rules, when 〈high school〉 acts as a compound noun modifying 〈student〉, the possessive form is not needed; in the original sentence, 〈school's〉 uses an unnecessary possessive form. 〈’s〉 should be deleted, and 〈school's〉 should be changed to 『school』 to comply with grammatical rules and English expression habits.
error_sentence: Nevertheless my grade is very bad.
correct_sentence: Nevertheless my grades are very bad.
error: grade is
correction: grades are
error_type: Subject-Verb Agreement Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: ① Noun Number Error: According to the sentence meaning, this refers to the grades of multiple subjects; the noun 〈grade〉 should be changed to the plural form 『grades』 to match the context; ② Subject-Verb Agreement Error: After the subject is changed to the plural 『grades』, the predicate verb 〈is〉 needs to be changed to the plural form 『are』 to agree with the subject.
error_sentence: I hope I can become work hard in the future, and it's very helpful for me.
correct_sentence: I hope I can become hard-working in the future, and it will be very helpful for me.
error: work hard
correction: hard-working
error_type: PoS Confusion Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: PoS Confusion Error: According to English grammar rules, the linking verb 〈become〉 needs to be followed by an adjective as a predicative; the verb phrase 〈work hard〉 does not conform to this grammatical structure and should be changed to the adjective 『hard - working』 to ensure the sentence grammar is correct.
error_sentence: I hope I can become work hard in the future, and it's very helpful for me.
correct_sentence: I hope I can become hard-working in the future, and it will be very helpful for me.
error: 's
correction: will be
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: According to English grammar rules, the time adverbial 〈in the future〉 indicates that the action occurs in the future, requiring the future tense. In the original sentence, 〈it's〉 is the contraction of "it is", and (is) is in the present tense, which does not meet the tense requirement. Therefore, 〈's〉 is changed to the future tense 『will be』 to comply with grammatical rules.
error_sentence: When I was 24, I must be alone.
correct_sentence: When I am 24, I must be alone.
error: was
correction: am
error_type: Verb Voice Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: According to English grammar rules, when the time adverbial clause 〈When I am 24〉 expresses future age, the present tense should be used to indicate the future; the past tense 〈was〉 in the original sentence does not meet the requirement. Therefore, 〈was〉 is changed to the present tense 『am』 to comply with grammatical rules.
error_sentence: It makes me brave!
correct_sentence: It will make me brave!
error: makes
correction: will make
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: According to English grammar rules, when a sentence describes a future event, the future tense should be used. The present tense 〈makes〉 in the original sentence cannot correctly express a future action. Therefore, 〈makes〉 is changed to the future tense 『will make』 to maintain tense consistency, indicating that the action will occur in the future.