Writing prompt: Food Safety

Student essay:
A couple of days ago,one of my classmates bought some food from a market and ate with a couple of friends because of his birthday.Soon my classmates who ate the food had stomachaches and their faces became green.And someone vomited badly,so they were sent to the hospital immediately.After being examined,they were told that they got poisoning by the doctor.Fortunately,they didn't have life risk just was a little weak.It thanks to delivered in time.
In this matter,we have to pay attention to the food safety again,the problem relationships with our precious lives.So I sincerely hope the whole social can strengthen supervising the food safety and be back to us healthy bodies.

Corrected essay:
A couple of days ago, one of my classmates bought some food from a market and ate with a couple of friends because it was his birthday. Soon my classmates who ate the food had stomachaches and their faces became green. And someone vomited badly, so they were sent to the hospital immediately. After being examined, they were told by the doctor that they had been poisoned. Fortunately, they didn't have life-threatening risks and were just a little weak. It was thanks to being delivered in time.
In this matter, we have to pay attention to food safety again, as the problem is related to our precious lives. So I sincerely hope the whole society can strengthen supervision of food safety and return to us healthy bodies.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: A couple of days ago,one of my classmates bought some food from a market and ate with a couple of friends because of his birthday.
correct_sentence: A couple of days ago, one of my classmates bought some food from a market and ate with a couple of friends because it was his birthday.
error: of
correction: it was
error_type: Sentence Structure Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Sentence Structure Error: The original sentence uses the preposition 〈of〉 which cannot correctly express the causal relationship. According to English grammar rules, a complete subject-verb structure 『it was』 needs to be added to introduce an adverbial clause of reason, forming the correct expression 『it was his birthday』, clearly stating that the birthday was the reason for the dinner.
error_sentence: After being examined,they were told that they got poisoning by the doctor.
correct_sentence: After being examined, they were told by the doctor that they had been poisoned.
error: that they got poisoning
error_type: Word Order Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Word Order Error: According to the context, the original sentence 〈they got poisoning by the doctor.〉 does not match the intended meaning. The sentence intends to express 'they were told by the doctor that they were poisoned', so 〈by the doctor.〉 should be moved forward to connect with the verb 〈told〉, and the original incorrect clause 〈that they got poisoning〉 should be deleted, changing the original sentence to 『they were told by the doctor that they had been poisoned.』.
error_sentence: After being examined,they were told that they got poisoning by the doctor.
correct_sentence: After being examined, they were told by the doctor that they had been poisoned.
correction: that they had been poisoned
error_type: Word Order Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Word Order Error: According to the context, the original sentence 〈they got poisoning by the doctor.〉 does not match the intended meaning. The sentence intends to express 'they were told by the doctor that they were poisoned', so 〈by the doctor.〉 should be moved forward to connect with the verb 〈told〉, and 'they were poisoned' should be moved to the end as the result, changing the original sentence to 『they were told by the doctor that they had been poisoned.』; ② Verb Voice Error: According to English expression norms, the active voice 〈got poisoning〉 needs to be changed to the passive voice 『had been poisoned』 to accurately express the state of being poisoned.
error_sentence: Fortunately,they didn't have life risk just was a little weak.
correct_sentence: Fortunately, they didn't have life-threatening risks and were just a little weak.
error: risk just was
correction: -threatening risks and were just
error_type: Subject-Verb Agreement Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Adjective Error: 〈life risk〉 does not conform to idiomatic English expression. According to medical context, the compound adjective 『life-threatening』 should be used to modify the noun, forming the standard expression 『life-threatening condition』; ② Conjunction Error: A conjunction is missing between the two parallel predicates. According to English parallel structure rules, add 『and』 to connect the two predicates; ③ Subject-Verb Agreement Error: According to the principle of subject-verb agreement, the subject 〈they〉 is plural, so the linking verb 〈was〉 needs to be changed to the plural form 『were』 to maintain subject-verb agreement, forming the correct structure 『they were hospitalized』; ④ Adverb Error: To enhance the contextual contrast effect, add the adverb of degree 『just』 to modify 〈a little weak〉, forming the expression 『just a little weak』, highlighting the contrast with the previous critical condition.
error_sentence: It thanks to delivered in time.

correct_sentence: It was thanks to being delivered in time.

correction: was
error_type: Sentence Structure Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Sentence Structure Error: The sentence structure for expressing thanks is incomplete as it lacks a linking verb. According to English subject-linking verb-predicative structure requirements, add 『was』 to form the complete expression 『It was thanks to』 to express a past fact.
error_sentence: It thanks to delivered in time.

correct_sentence: It was thanks to being delivered in time.

correction: being
error_type: Nonfinite Verb Form Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Nonfinite Verb Form Error: The prepositional phrase 〈thanks to〉 needs to be followed by a gerund form, so the base form of the verb 〈delivered〉 is changed to 『being delivered』 to form a correct gerund phrase, resulting in the standard expression 『thanks to the food being delivered』.
error_sentence: In this matter,we have to pay attention to the food safety again,the problem relationships with our precious lives.
correct_sentence: In this matter, we have to pay attention to food safety again, as the problem is related to our precious lives.
error: the
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: The abstract noun 〈the food safety〉 does not require an article when used as an uncountable noun. Delete the redundant 〈the〉, changing it to 『food safety』 to conform to the usage rules for English abstract nouns.
error_sentence: In this matter,we have to pay attention to the food safety again,the problem relationships with our precious lives.
correct_sentence: In this matter, we have to pay attention to food safety again, as the problem is related to our precious lives.
correction: as
error_type: Conjunction Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Conjunction Error: Two independent clauses are connected only by a comma, constituting a comma splice error. According to English complex sentence rules, add the subordinating conjunction 『as』 to introduce an adverbial clause, forming the correct connection 『as this problem』.
error_sentence: In this matter,we have to pay attention to the food safety again,the problem relationships with our precious lives.
correct_sentence: In this matter, we have to pay attention to food safety again, as the problem is related to our precious lives.
error: relationships with
correction: is related to
error_type: PoS Confusion Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: PoS Confusion Error: The noun phrase 〈relationships with〉 is not suitable for describing the connection between the problem and lives. According to the contextual meaning, change it to the verb phrase 『is related to』, forming the accurate expression 『is related to our precious lives.』, clearly presenting the direct relationship between the two.
error_sentence: So I sincerely hope the whole social can strengthen supervising the food safety and be back to us healthy bodies.
correct_sentence: So I sincerely hope the whole society can strengthen supervision of food safety and return to us healthy bodies.
error: social
correction: society
error_type: PoS Confusion Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: PoS Confusion Error: The adjective 〈social〉 is misused as a noun for the subject. According to sentence component analysis, change it to the noun 『society』 as the subject, maintaining the integrity of the subject-verb structure 『the whole society can』.
error_sentence: So I sincerely hope the whole social can strengthen supervising the food safety and be back to us healthy bodies.
correct_sentence: So I sincerely hope the whole society can strengthen supervision of food safety and return to us healthy bodies.
error: supervising the
correction: supervision of
error_type: PoS Confusion Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: PoS Confusion Error: With the preceding verb 〈strengthen〉, the subsequent component should maintain structural parallelism. Change the gerund 〈supervising〉 to the noun phrase 『supervision of』, forming the standard expression 『strengthen supervision of food safety』.
error_sentence: So I sincerely hope the whole social can strengthen supervising the food safety and be back to us healthy bodies.
correct_sentence: So I sincerely hope the whole society can strengthen supervision of food safety and return to us healthy bodies.
error: be back
correction: return
error_type: Verb Choice Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Choice Error: The phrase 〈be back〉 is a linking verb-predicative structure and is not suitable for expressing recovery of health in a formal context. According to English expression norms, change it to the more standard verb 『return』, forming the standard expression 『return to normal』.