Writing prompt: My Favorite Sport

Student essay:
Good morning, everyone. Today I'm going to talk about something about my favorite sport. I hope you'll enjoy it.
My favorite sport is badminton. I started playing it when I was nine years old. At first, I find it difficult to control the badminton, but a few months later, I begun to like it. At that time, I usually asked my mun to play with me. Now, I still like playing it. I usually play badminton on weekends with my parents or my best friend. I like playing it because I am very happy when I play it. It also helps me keep fit. And I'm happy when I see that my skill is improved.
If you like playing badminton too, please tell me, we can play it together.

Corrected essay:
Good morning, everyone. Today I'm going to talk about something about my favorite sport. I hope you'll enjoy it.
My favorite sport is badminton. I started playing it when I was nine years old. At first, I found it difficult to control the badminton, but a few months later, I began to like it. At that time, I usually asked my mum to play with me. Now, I still like playing it. I usually play badminton on weekends with my parents or my best friend. I like playing it because I am very happy when I play it. It also helps me keep fit. And I'm happy when I see that my skill has improved.
If you like playing badminton too, please tell me. We can play it together.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: At first, I find it difficult to control the badminton, but a few months later, I begun to like it.
correct_sentence: At first, I found it difficult to control the badminton, but a few months later, I began to like it.
error: find
correction: found
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: According to English grammar rules and the overall tense of the original text, the time adverbial 〈At first〉 indicates that the action occurred in the past, so the verb needs to be in the past tense; change the present tense 〈find〉 to the past tense 『found』 to maintain tense consistency.
error_sentence: At first, I find it difficult to control the badminton, but a few months later, I begun to like it.
correct_sentence: At first, I found it difficult to control the badminton, but a few months later, I began to like it.
error: begun
correction: began
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: According to English verb conjugation rules, 〈begun〉 is the past participle form of “begin” (used in perfect tenses or passive voice), while the sentence requires the past tense 『began』 to describe a past action. Therefore, 〈begun〉 is changed to 『began』 to comply with grammatical rules.
error_sentence: At that time, I usually asked my mun to play with me.
correct_sentence: At that time, I usually asked my mum to play with me.
error: mun
correction: mum
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Spelling Error: According to English spelling conventions, 〈mun〉 is a misspelling of the British English word for “mother” 『mum』; it needs to be adjusted to 『mum』 to conform to correct spelling.
error_sentence: And I'm happy when I see that my skill is improved.

correct_sentence: And I'm happy when I see that my skill has improved.

error: is
correction: has
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Verb Voice Error: According to sentence meaning analysis, 〈is improved〉 is in the passive voice, meaning "is raised/bettered," but here the active voice should be used to express that the skill improved on its own. Therefore, the auxiliary verb 〈is〉 is deleted, and using the verb “improve” directly is more idiomatic; ② Verb Tense Error: According to the context, the present perfect tense (has + past participle) should be used here to describe the improvement of skills from the past to the present. Therefore, the linking verb 〈is〉 is changed to the auxiliary verb 『has』, forming 『has improved』 to comply with grammatical rules.
error_sentence: If you like playing badminton too, please tell me, we can play it together.
correct_sentence: If you like playing badminton too, please tell me. We can play it together.
error: , we
correction: . We
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: ① Punctuation Error: According to English punctuation rules, two independent clauses 〈please tell me〉 and 〈we can play〉 cannot be connected only by a comma, as this creates a run-on sentence. A period should be used to separate them, and 〈, we〉 should be changed to 『. We』 (with a capital first letter) to conform to correct sentence structure; ② Case Error: According to English writing conventions, the first letter of the first word in a sentence must be capitalized. Therefore, 〈we〉 is changed to 『We』 to ensure the correct format at the beginning of the sentence.