Writing prompt: Who Do You Turn to When in Trouble?

Student essay:
Dear editor,
last month,a survey about"Who do you turn to when in trouble"was conducted in our school.
As can be seen from the table, about 68% students will turn to their classmates and friends when in trouble.They think they are at the same,so they can easily understand and communicate with each other.About 20% students will turn to their teachers and parents. They consider that they are kind and experienced.They can be belief.However,12% students have no body to turn to.They do not like to talk to others.They are hard to communicate with others.
Personally,we can turn to our teachers and parents if they can understand and help us.
Sincerely yours,
Li Ming

Corrected essay:
Dear editor,
Last month, a survey about "Who do you turn to when in trouble" was conducted in our school.
As can be seen from the table, about 68% of students will turn to their classmates and friends when in trouble. They think they are the same, so they can easily understand and communicate with each other. About 20% of students will turn to their teachers and parents. They consider that they are kind and experienced. They can be trusted. However, 12% of students have nobody to turn to. They do not like to talk to others. They find it hard to communicate with others.
Personally, we can turn to our teachers and parents if they can understand and help us.
Sincerely yours,
Li Ming

Error analysis:
error_sentence: Dear editor,
last month,a survey about"Who do you turn to when in trouble"was conducted in our school.

correct_sentence: Dear editor,
Last month, a survey about "Who do you turn to when in trouble" was conducted in our school.

error: last
correction: Last
error_type: Case Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Case Error: According to English writing conventions, the first letter of the word at the beginning of a sentence needs to be capitalized; the first letter of the word 〈last〉 at the beginning of the sentence is not capitalized, so 〈last〉 needs to be changed to 『Last』 to conform to the convention.
error_sentence: Dear editor,
last month,a survey about"Who do you turn to when in trouble"was conducted in our school.

correct_sentence: Dear editor,
Last month, a survey about "Who do you turn to when in trouble" was conducted in our school.

error: about"Who
correction: about "Who
error_type: Space Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Space Error: According to English writing conventions, a space needs to be added between quotation marks and words; therefore, in the original sentence, 〈about"Who〉 needs to be changed to 『about "Who』 to conform to writing conventions.
error_sentence: Dear editor,
last month,a survey about"Who do you turn to when in trouble"was conducted in our school.

correct_sentence: Dear editor,
Last month, a survey about "Who do you turn to when in trouble" was conducted in our school.

error: trouble"was
correction: trouble" was
error_type: Space Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Space Error: According to English writing conventions, a space needs to be added between quotation marks and words; therefore, in the original sentence, 〈trouble"was〉 needs to be changed to 『trouble" was』 to conform to writing conventions.
error_sentence: As can be seen from the table, about 68% students will turn to their classmates and friends when in trouble.
correct_sentence: As can be seen from the table, about 68% of students will turn to their classmates and friends when in trouble.
correction: of
error_type: Preposition Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Preposition Error: According to English grammar rules, a phrase expressing a proportion needs to be followed by the determiner 『of』 to form the correct structure, meaning 'what percentage of whom'; therefore, the original 〈68% students〉 needs to be changed to 『68% of students』 to comply with grammatical rules.
error_sentence: They think they are at the same,so they can easily understand and communicate with each other.
correct_sentence: They think they are the same, so they can easily understand and communicate with each other.
error: at
error_type: Preposition Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Preposition Error: According to English grammar rules, the preposition 〈at〉 is used to indicate specific time periods; in the original sentence, 〈they are at the same〉 does not fit the meaning, so the preposition 〈at〉 needs to be deleted and changed to 『They think they are the same』 for better fluency.
error_sentence: About 20% students will turn to their teachers and parents.
correct_sentence: About 20% of students will turn to their teachers and parents.
correction: of
error_type: Preposition Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Preposition Error: According to English grammar rules, a phrase expressing a proportion needs to be followed by the determiner 『of』 to form the correct structure, meaning 'what percentage of whom'; therefore, the original 〈20% students〉 needs to be changed to 『20% of students』 to comply with grammatical rules.
error_sentence: They can be belief. However,12% students have no body to turn to.
correct_sentence: They can be trusted. However, 12% of students have nobody to turn to.
error: belief.However,12%
correction: trusted. However, 12% of
error_type: Verb Choice Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Verb Choice Error: According to the context, the sentence here means '(to be) trusted'; in the original sentence, 〈belief〉 is a noun and does not fit the meaning, so 〈belief〉 needs to be changed to 『trusted』 to correctly express 'trustworthy' and fit the context; ② Space Error: According to English writing conventions, a space is needed between punctuation and words; the original 〈.However,12%〉 lacks a space, so 〈.However,12%〉 needs to be changed to 『. However, 12%』 to conform to writing conventions; ③ Preposition Error: According to English grammar rules, a phrase expressing a proportion needs to be followed by the determiner 『of』 to form the correct structure, meaning 'what percentage of whom'; therefore, the original 〈12% students〉 needs to be changed to 『12% of students』 to comply with grammatical rules.
error_sentence: However,12% students have no body to turn to.
correct_sentence: However, 12% of students have nobody to turn to.
error: no body
correction: nobody
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Spelling Error: According to English writing conventions and sentence meaning, this place means 'no one'; 『nobody』 as a compound indefinite pronoun does not require a space; in the original sentence, 〈no body〉 is a spelling error, so 〈no body〉 needs to be changed to 『nobody』 to conform to writing conventions and sentence meaning.
error_sentence: They are hard to communicate with others.

correct_sentence: They find it hard to communicate with others.

error: are
correction: find it
error_type: Verb Choice Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Verb Choice Error: According to the context, the sentence here means 'find it hard'; in the original sentence, 〈are〉 means 'is' and does not fit the meaning, so 〈are〉 needs to be changed to 『find it』 to fit the context; ② Pronoun Error: English grammar requires that when the object of a verb is a long phrase (such as an infinitive or a clause), 'it' is usually used as a formal object, and the real object is postponed to maintain sentence balance, so 『it』 should be added after it.