Writing prompt: My Favorite Place at School

Student essay:
Everyone says"School is just like our home.'I think so. I love my school.Include the gate,the playground,the teaching building. But my favourite place at school is our classroom.
Our classroom is tidy,clean and bright,because we tidy up it every day. Made it just like our home. It witness my growth,and I also left a happy time. I always reading there,because it is quiet. It not only made me undisturbed,but also relax myself there.
Our classroom is the most beautiful place in my eyes.

Corrected essay:
Everyone says, "School is just like our home." I think so. I love my school, including the gate, the playground, and the teaching building. But my favourite place at school is our classroom.
Our classroom is tidy, clean and bright, because we tidy it up every day. We make it just like our home. It witnesses my growth, and I also leave happy memories there. I always read there, because it is quiet. It not only makes me undisturbed, but also helps me relax.
Our classroom is the most beautiful place in my eyes.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: Everyone says"School is just like our home.
correct_sentence: Everyone says, "School is just like our home."
error: says"School
correction: says, "School
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: ① Punctuation Error: According to English grammar rules, a comma 〈,〉 needs to be added before the punctuation mark 〈"〉 to correctly separate the introductory part and the quoted content, so 『,』 is added after 〈says〉 to conform to English writing conventions; ② Space Error: According to English writing conventions, words must be separated by spaces, in this sentence, 〈says〉 and 〈School〉 are two different words, which need to be separated by a space, so 〈says"School〉 is modified to 『says, "School』 to conform to English writing conventions.
error_sentence: 'I think so.
correct_sentence: Everyone says, "School is just like our home." I think so.
error: 'I
correction: " I
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: ① Punctuation Error: According to English grammar rules, the single quotation mark 〈'〉 cannot be used alone to end direct speech in English; double quotation marks 『"』 should be used uniformly, so 〈'〉 is modified to 『"』 to maintain quotation mark consistency; ② Space Error: According to English writing conventions, after the quotation mark at the end of a sentence, there should be a space, and then the next word or sentence, so 〈'I〉 is modified to 『" I』 to conform to writing conventions.
error_sentence: I love my school. Include the gate,the playground,the teaching building.
correct_sentence: I love my school, including the gate, the playground, and the teaching building.
error: .Include
correction: , including
error_type: Nonfinite Verb Form Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: ① Punctuation Error: The period in 〈.Include〉 incorrectly divides the sentence; it should be changed to a comma 『,』 to connect the preceding and succeeding logic; ② Nonfinite Verb Form Error: The verb 〈Include〉 needs to be changed to the present participle 『including』 to function as an adverbial phrase, making the sentence structure complete, so 〈.Include〉 is modified to 『, including』 to conform to sentence structure.
error_sentence: Include the gate,the playground,the teaching building.
correct_sentence: I love my school, including the gate, the playground, and the teaching building.
correction: and
error_type: Conjunction Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Conjunction Error: According to English grammar rules, when listing multiple nouns, the conjunction 『and』 is needed between the last two items in a parallel list, so the conjunction 『and』 is added before 〈the teaching building〉 to conform to idiomatic English expression.
error_sentence: Our classroom is tidy,clean and bright,because we tidy up it every day.
correct_sentence: Our classroom is tidy, clean and bright, because we tidy it up every day.
error: up it
correction: it up
error_type: Word Order Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Word Order Error: The object pronoun 〈it〉 of the phrasal verb 〈tidy up〉 should be placed between the verb and the adverb, so 〈up it〉 is modified to 『it up』 to conform to idiomatic word order.
error_sentence: Made it just like our home.
correct_sentence: We make it just like our home.
error: Made
correction: We make
error_type: Sentence Structure Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Sentence Structure Error: The past participle 〈Made〉 cannot independently form a main clause; a subject 『We』 needs to be added to ensure sentence completeness, so 『We』 is placed at the beginning of the sentence; ② Verb Tense Error: The passage uses the simple present tense, so 〈Made〉 is changed to the simple present tense 『make』 to conform to contextual tense consistency.
error_sentence: It witness my growth,and I also left a happy time.
correct_sentence: It witnesses my growth, and I also leave happy memories there.
error: witness
correction: witnesses
error_type: Subject-Verb Agreement Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Subject-Verb Agreement Error: The subject 〈It〉 is third-person singular, so the predicate verb 〈witness〉 needs to be changed to the third-person singular form 『witnesses』 to conform to subject-verb agreement rules.
error_sentence: It witness my growth,and I also left a happy time.
correct_sentence: It witnesses my growth, and I also leave happy memories there.
error: left a happy time
correction: leave happy memories there
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Verb Tense Error: The context is simple present tense, so 〈left〉 is changed to 『leave』; ② Noun Error: 〈a happy time〉 is semantically ambiguous, so 〈a happy time〉 is modified to 『happy memories』 to more accurately express "happy memories"; ③ Adverb Error: Based on the sentence meaning, 『there』 should be added after 『happy memories』 to clarify the location where the action takes place.
error_sentence: I always reading there,because it is quiet.
correct_sentence: I always read there, because it is quiet.
error: reading
correction: read
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: According to English grammar rules, the frequency adverb 〈always〉 should be followed by the simple present tense, so the present participle 〈reading〉 is changed to 『read』 to conform to tense rules.
error_sentence: It not only made me undisturbed,but also relax myself there.

correct_sentence: It not only makes me undisturbed, but also helps me relax.

error: made
correction: makes
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: The context is simple present tense, so the verb 〈made〉 is changed to the present tense 『makes』 to maintain tense consistency.
error_sentence: It not only made me undisturbed,but also relax myself there.

correct_sentence: It not only makes me undisturbed, but also helps me relax.

error: relax myself there
correction: helps me relax
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Verb Choice Error: “help someone do something” is the correct structure, so 〈relax 〉 is modified to 『helps me relax』 to make the structure clearer; ② Word Redundancy Error: 〈myself there〉 is redundant, so 〈myself there〉 is deleted to make the sentence more concise.