Writing prompt: APEC Blue

Student essay:
APEC held,brought a 'miracle'--APEC blue.It refers to the blue sky during the APEC week. The sky was so clear and beautiful that many people have appealed to us to protect the environment, which can lead to the common APEC blue, not to be a 'miracle' any more.
To make this dream come true, many measures are needed to be taken. First of all, we should lead a low-carbon lifestyle, so take more public transport. Second, use something that can be reused many times more often. Last but not least, from now on, try to do little things as we can. The earth is our common mother, only if all of us try to save her, can she live better!

Corrected essay:
APEC was held, bringing a 'miracle'--APEC blue. It refers to the blue sky during the APEC week. The sky was so clear and beautiful that many people have appealed to us to protect the environment, which can lead to the common APEC blue not being a 'miracle' anymore.
To make this dream come true, many measures need to be taken. First of all, we should lead a low-carbon lifestyle, so take more public transport. Second, use something that can be reused many times more often. Last but not least, from now on, try to do as many little things as we can. The earth is our common mother. Only if all of us try to save her can she live better!

Error analysis:
error_sentence: APEC held,brought a 'miracle'--APEC blue.
correct_sentence: APEC was held, bringing a 'miracle'--APEC blue.
correction: was
error_type: Verb Voice Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Voice Error: According to the context, the meaning here is 'to be held', so the passive voice should be used; the original sentence 〈held〉 is in the active voice, which is incorrect, thus 〈held〉 needs to be changed to 『was held』 to fit the context.
error_sentence: APEC held,brought a 'miracle'--APEC blue.
correct_sentence: APEC was held, bringing a 'miracle'--APEC blue.
error: brought
correction: bringing
error_type: Nonfinite Verb Form Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Nonfinite Verb Form Error: According to the context, a present participle form indicating an accompanying state is required here; in the original sentence, 〈brought〉 does not fit the semantic logic of an accompanying action, so it is changed to the present participle 『bringing』 as an adverbial of accompaniment to fit the context.
error_sentence: The sky was so clear and beautiful that many people have appealed to us to protect the environment, which can lead to the common APEC blue, not to be a 'miracle' any more.

correct_sentence: The sky was so clear and beautiful that many people have appealed to us to protect the environment, which can lead to the common APEC blue not being a 'miracle' anymore.

error: , not to be
correction: not being
error_type: Nonfinite Verb Form Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Nonfinite Verb Form Error: According to the context, a present participle form indicating an accompanying state is required here; in the original sentence, 〈to be〉 does not fit the semantic logic of an accompanying action, so it is changed to the present participle 『being』 as an adverbial of accompaniment to fit the context.
error_sentence: The sky was so clear and beautiful that many people have appealed to us to protect the environment, which can lead to the common APEC blue, not to be a 'miracle' any more.

correct_sentence: The sky was so clear and beautiful that many people have appealed to us to protect the environment, which can lead to the common APEC blue not being a 'miracle' anymore.

error: any more
correction: anymore
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Spelling Error: According to English writing conventions and the sentence meaning, this place means 'no longer'; 『any more』 does not require a space, so 〈any more〉 needs to be changed to 『anymore』 to conform to writing conventions and sentence meaning.
error_sentence: To make this dream come true, many measures are needed to be taken.
correct_sentence: To make this dream come true, many measures need to be taken.
error: are needed
correction: need
error_type: Verb Voice Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Voice Error: According to the context, the meaning here is 'need', so the active voice should be used; the passive voice in the original sentence is incorrect, thus 〈are needed〉 needs to be changed to 『need』 to fit the context.
error_sentence: Last but not least, from now on, try to do little things as we can.
correct_sentence: Last but not least, from now on, try to do as many little things as we can.
correction: as many
error_type: Adjective Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Adjective Error: According to the context, this place means 'as many little things as possible'; the original sentence lacks an adjective, so 『as many』 needs to be added before 〈little things〉 to conform to English expression habits.
error_sentence: The earth is our common mother, only if all of us try to save her, can she live better!
correct_sentence: The earth is our common mother. Only if all of us try to save her can she live better!
error: , only
correction: . Only
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English grammar rules, two independent main clauses need to be separated by a period to avoid a run-on sentence; in the original sentence, 〈The earth is our common mother〉 and 〈only if all of us try to save her, can she live better〉 are two main clauses, so 〈, only〉 is changed to 『. Only』 to conform to grammar.
error_sentence: The earth is our common mother, only if all of us try to save her, can she live better!
correct_sentence: Only if all of us try to save her can she live better!
error: ,
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English expression habits, in an inverted structure, a comma is not needed between the main clause and the subordinate clause, so 〈,〉 needs to be deleted to conform to inversion grammar rules.