Writing prompt: An Unforgettable Thing during Winter Holiday

Student essay:
This winter,I went to Shenyang for Spring Festival and I enjoyed myself there.During my holiday,I met the snow in northeast China.The snow is so heavy and beautiful that I have never seen in tianjin.
My mother and I took my cousin who lived in Shenyang to the park.The snow is quiet cleaner than i have ever seen because of fresher air.The pretty trees were green-and-white,the river was covered with thick ice.We played with snow happily,such as making snowman and had a snowball fight.We spent the hole morning in the park and took lots of photos.We looked at each other and laughed,for us looked like snowmans which we made.I love my hometown
what a great treavle!I think this is the most unforgettable thing during my winter holiday.

Corrected essay:
This winter, I went to Shenyang for the Spring Festival and I enjoyed myself there. During my holiday, I saw the snow in northeast China. The snow was so heavy and beautiful that I had never seen anything like it in Tianjin.
My mother and I took my cousin who lived in Shenyang to the park. The snow was quite cleaner than I had ever seen because of the fresher air. The pretty trees were green-and-white. The river was covered with thick ice. We played with the snow happily, such as making a snowman and having a snowball fight. We spent the whole morning in the park and took lots of photos. We looked at each other and laughed, for we looked like the snowmen which we had made. I love my hometown.
What a great travel! I think this is the most unforgettable thing during my winter holiday.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: This winter,I went to Shenyang for Spring Festival and I enjoyed myself there.
correct_sentence: This winter, I went to Shenyang for the Spring Festival and I enjoyed myself there.
correction: the
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: According to English expression habits, when the festival name 〈Spring Festival〉 is used as a specific proper noun, the definite article 『the』 needs to be added; therefore, 〈Spring Festival〉 needs to be changed to 『the Spring Festival』 to conform to the expression.
error_sentence: During my holiday,I met the snow in northeast China.
correct_sentence: During my holiday, I saw the snow in northeast China.
error: met
correction: saw
error_type: Verb Choice Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Choice Error: According to the context, the sentence here means 'saw'; in the original sentence, 〈met〉 means 'to meet a person', which does not fit the meaning; therefore, 〈met〉 needs to be changed to 『saw』 to mean 'seeing the snow scene', to fit the context.
error_sentence: The snow is so heavy and beautiful that I have never seen in tianjin.

correct_sentence: The snow was so heavy and beautiful that I had never seen anything like it in Tianjin.

error: is
correction: was
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: According to the context, the simple past tense should be used here, while 〈is〉 in the original sentence is in the simple present tense; therefore, 〈is〉 needs to be changed to the simple past tense 『was』 to fit the context.
error_sentence: The snow is so heavy and beautiful that I have never seen in tianjin.

correct_sentence: The snow was so heavy and beautiful that I had never seen anything like it in Tianjin.

error: have
correction: had
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: According to the context, the simple past tense should be used here, while 〈have〉 in the original sentence is in the simple present tense; therefore, 〈have〉 needs to be changed to the simple past tense 『had』 to fit the context.
error_sentence: The snow is so heavy and beautiful that I have never seen in tianjin.

correct_sentence: The snow was so heavy and beautiful that I had never seen anything like it in Tianjin.

error: in tianjin
correction: anything like it in Tianjin
error_type: Pronoun Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Pronoun Error: According to the context, this means 'have never seen such a thing'; the original comparative structure lacks an object of comparison, so the pronoun phrase 『anything like it』 needs to be added to fit the context; ② Case Error: According to English writing conventions, the first letter of proper nouns needs to be capitalized; 〈tianjin〉 is a proper noun meaning 'Tianjin', so 〈tianjin〉 needs to be changed to 『Tianjin』 to conform to the convention.
error_sentence: The snow is quiet cleaner than i have ever seen because of fresher air.
correct_sentence: The snow was quite cleaner than I had ever seen because of the fresher air.
error: is quiet
correction: was quite
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Verb Tense Error: According to the context, the simple past tense should be used here, while 〈is〉 in the original sentence is in the simple present tense; therefore, 〈is〉 needs to be changed to the simple past tense 『was』 to fit the context; ② Spelling Error: According to the meaning of the sentence, it is intended to express 'quite' or 'very'; therefore, 〈quiet〉 is a misspelling of 『quite』, and 〈quiet〉 needs to be changed to 『quite』 to make the sentence coherent.
error_sentence: The snow is quiet cleaner than i have ever seen because of fresher air.
correct_sentence: The snow was quite cleaner than I had ever seen because of the fresher air.
error: i have
correction: I had
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Case Error: According to English writing conventions, the first-person pronoun 〈i〉 in English should always be capitalized as 『I』; therefore, 〈i〉 is changed to 『I』 to conform to writing conventions; ② Verb Tense Error: According to the context, the simple past tense should be used here, while 〈have〉 in the original sentence is in the simple present tense; therefore, 〈have〉 needs to be changed to the simple past tense 『had』 to fit the context.
error_sentence: The snow is quiet cleaner than i have ever seen because of fresher air.
correct_sentence: The snow was quite cleaner than I had ever seen because of the fresher air.
correction: the
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: According to English grammar rules, the definite article 『the』 indicates specific reference; in the original sentence, the previously mentioned 〈fresher air〉 lacks the necessary determiner 『the』 to specify the object, so 『the』 needs to be added before 〈fresher air〉 to clarify the meaning.
error_sentence: The pretty trees were green-and-white,the river was covered with thick ice.
correct_sentence: The pretty trees were green-and-white. The river was covered with thick ice.
error: ,the
correction: . The
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English grammar rules, two independent clauses need to be separated by a period to avoid a run-on sentence; in the original sentence, 〈The pretty trees were green-and-white〉 and 〈the river was covered with thick ice〉 are two main clauses, so 〈,the〉 is changed to 『. The』 to conform to grammar.
error_sentence: We played with snow happily,such as making snowman and had a snowball fight.
correct_sentence: We played with the snow happily, such as making a snowman and having a snowball fight.
correction: the
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: According to English grammar rules, the definite article 『the』 indicates specific reference; in the original sentence, 〈snow〉 is a specific object, so 『the』 needs to be added before 〈snow〉 to clarify the meaning.
error_sentence: We played with snow happily,such as making snowman and had a snowball fight.
correct_sentence: We played with the snow happily, such as making a snowman and having a snowball fight.
correction: a
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: According to English expression habits, the indefinite article 『a』 is needed before a generic singular countable noun 〈snowman〉; therefore, 〈snowman〉 is changed to 『a snowman』 to conform to expression habits.
error_sentence: We played with snow happily,such as making snowman and had a snowball fight.
correct_sentence: We played with the snow happily, such as making a snowman and having a snowball fight.
error: had
correction: having
error_type: Nonfinite Verb Form Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Nonfinite Verb Form Error: According to English grammar rules, 〈such as〉 should be followed by a gerund form; therefore, in the original sentence, 〈had〉 needs to be changed to 『having』 to conform to grammar rules.
error_sentence: We spent the hole morning in the park and took lots of photos.
correct_sentence: We spent the whole morning in the park and took lots of photos.
error: hole
correction: whole
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Spelling Error: According to the meaning of the sentence, it is intended to express 'whole'; therefore, 〈hole〉 is a misspelling of 『whole』, and 〈hole〉 needs to be changed to 『whole』 to make the sentence coherent.
error_sentence: We looked at each other and laughed,for us looked like snowmans which we made.
correct_sentence: We looked at each other and laughed, for we looked like the snowmen which we had made.
error: us
correction: we
error_type: Pronoun Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Pronoun Error: According to the meaning of the sentence and English grammar rules, it is intended to express 'we', which requires the subjective case form 『we』; therefore, 〈us〉 needs to be changed to 『we』 to conform to grammar.
error_sentence: We looked at each other and laughed,for us looked like snowmans which we made.
correct_sentence: We looked at each other and laughed, for we looked like the snowmen which we had made.
error: snowmans
correction: the snowmen
error_type: Noun Number Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Noun Number Error: According to the context, the plural form 〈snowmans〉 in the original sentence is incorrect; therefore, 〈snowmans〉 needs to be changed to 『snowmen』 to fit the context; ② Determiner Error: According to the context, 『snowmen』 is a specific object, so 『the』 needs to be added to specifically refer to the snowmen made earlier.
error_sentence: We looked at each other and laughed,for us looked like snowmans which we made.
correct_sentence: We looked at each other and laughed, for we looked like the snowmen which we had made.
correction: had
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: According to the context, this action should use the past perfect tense, while 〈made〉 in the original sentence is in the simple past tense; therefore, 〈made〉 needs to be changed to the past perfect tense 『had made』 to fit the context.
error_sentence: I love my hometown
what a great treavle!I
correct_sentence: I love my hometown.
 What a great travel!
error: 
what
correction: .
What
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English grammar rules, two independent clauses need to be separated by a period to avoid a run-on sentence; in the original sentence, 〈I love my hometown〉 and 〈what a great treavle!〉 are two main clauses, so 『.』 needs to be added between them to conform to grammar.
error_sentence: I love my hometown
what a great treavle!I
correct_sentence: What a great travel! I think this is the most unforgettable thing during my winter holiday.
error: treavle!I
correction: travel! I
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: ① Spelling Error: According to the meaning of the sentence, it is intended to express 'travel'; therefore, 〈treavle〉 is a misspelling of 『travel』, and 〈treavle〉 needs to be changed to 『travel』 to make the sentence coherent; ② Space Error: According to English writing conventions, there needs to be a space between punctuation and a word; in the original sentence, 〈treavle!I〉 lacks a space, so 〈treavle!I〉 needs to be changed to 『travel! I』 to conform to writing conventions.