Writing prompt: Fragrant Harbour: The Most Unforgettable Travel

Student essay:
I went to the Hong Kong last year. It's a sudden trip. Nevertheless I was enjoyed. As everyone knows that Hong Kong is one of the biggest cities in the world. It was also a beautiful city by the sea.
We went to the "Disneyland". This name is from California firstly. Everybody knows it was so fun and interesting."Future Land""Dreamming Land"and so on has been located there. I also bought some souvenirs. The most brilliant item is fireworks at night,so the scenery at night is the most wonderful.
We also went to some shopping centers there. They were our mothers' "Shopping Paradise". They bought lots and lots of free goods. The children looked around, all saw things in a blur.
There were many places we couldn't attend. But I also have many happy memories. I think Hong Kong is a colorful world,which is well-known for the blue sky and golden beach. Even though I was looking forward to swimming in the sea and eating some nice fruits. But we had less time to use.
Hong Kong is a beautiful city in the daytime,but even more wonderful at night.It had some reproach. But it was also beautiful. Up to now,I am still much alive in Hong Kong 's memories. I hope we could also go there next time. But we also need look after the time.

Corrected essay:
I went to Hong Kong last year. It's a sudden trip. Nevertheless, I enjoyed it. As everyone knows, Hong Kong is one of the biggest cities in the world. It is also a beautiful city by the sea.
We went to the "Disneyland." This name is from California firstly. Everybody knows it is so fun and interesting. "Future Land," "Dreaming Land," and so on have been located there. I also bought some souvenirs. The most brilliant item is the fireworks at night, so the scenery at night was the most wonderful.
We also went to some shopping centers there. They were our mothers' "Shopping Paradise." They bought lots and lots of duty-free goods. The children looked around and saw things in a blur.
There were many places we couldn't visit. But I still have many happy memories. I think Hong Kong is a colorful world, which is well-known for the blue sky and golden beach. Even though I was looking forward to swimming in the sea and eating some nice fruits, we had less time to spend.
Hong Kong is a beautiful city in the daytime, but even more wonderful at night. It had some flaws, but it was still beautiful. Up to now, I am still alive with memories of Hong Kong. I hope we could go there again next time. But we also need to manage the time.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: I went to the Hong Kong last year.
correct_sentence: I went to Hong Kong last year.
error: the
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Word Redundancy Error: The proper noun 〈Hong Kong〉 does not require an article; therefore, 〈the〉 is deleted to comply with grammatical rules.
error_sentence: Nevertheless I was enjoyed.
correct_sentence: Nevertheless, I enjoyed it.
error: I was enjoyed
correction: , I enjoyed it
error_type: Verb Voice Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Verb Voice Error: Active voice should be used here to express the subject's action, so 〈was enjoyed〉 is changed to 『enjoyed』 to comply with grammatical rules; ② Pronoun Error: The object pronoun 『it』 needs to be added here to refer to the previously mentioned travel experience, so 『it』 is added after 『enjoyed』 to clarify the object of the action.
error_sentence: As everyone knows that Hong Kong is one of the biggest cities in the world.
correct_sentence: As everyone knows, Hong Kong is one of the biggest cities in the world.
error: that
correction: ,
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: 〈As everyone knows〉 should be directly followed by the main clause, so 〈that〉 is changed to 『,』 to standardize the sentence structure.
error_sentence: It was also a beautiful city by the sea.

correct_sentence: It is also a beautiful city by the sea.

error: was
correction: is
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: This describes an objective fact and should use the present tense, so 〈was〉 is changed to 『is』 to maintain tense consistency.
error_sentence: We went to the "Disneyland".
correct_sentence: We went to the "Disneyland."
error: ".
correction: ."
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: In English punctuation, the period should be placed inside the quotation marks, so 〈".〉 is changed to 『."』 to comply with punctuation rules.
error_sentence: Everybody knows it was so fun and interesting.
correct_sentence: Everybody knows it is so fun and interesting.
error: was
correction: is
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: This describes a general truth and should use the present tense, so 〈was〉 is changed to 『is』 to maintain tense consistency.
error_sentence: "Future Land""Dreamming Land"and so on has been located there.
correct_sentence: "Future Land," "Dreaming Land," and so on have been located there.
error: "Future Land""Dreamming Land"and
correction: "Future Land," "Dreaming Land," and
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: ① Punctuation Error: Comma separation is needed between parallel quotation marks, so 〈"Future Land""〉 is changed to 『"Future Land," "』 to comply with punctuation rules; ② Spelling Error: According to the meaning of the sentence, it is clear that the intention is to express “dreaming”, so 〈Dreamming〉 is a misspelling of 『Dreaming』, and 〈Dreamming〉 needs to be changed to 『Dreaming』 to make the sentence coherent.
error_sentence: Land"and so on has been located there.
correct_sentence: "Future Land," "Dreaming Land," and so on have been located there.
error: has
correction: have
error_type: Subject-Verb Agreement Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Subject-Verb Agreement Error: The subject 『"Future Land," "Dreaming Land," and so on』 is plural, and the predicate verb needs to be in the plural form, so 〈has〉 is changed to 『have』 to maintain subject-verb agreement.
error_sentence: The most brilliant item is fireworks at night,so the scenery at night is the most wonderful.

correct_sentence: The most brilliant item is the fireworks at night, so the scenery at night was the most wonderful.

correction: the
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: The noun 〈fireworks〉 requires an article to specify the particular object “fireworks at night”, so 『the』 is added before 〈fireworks〉 to comply with grammatical rules.
error_sentence: The most brilliant item is fireworks at night,so the scenery at night is the most wonderful.

correct_sentence: The most brilliant item is the fireworks at night, so the scenery at night was the most wonderful.

error: is
correction: was
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: This narrates a past event, and the verb needs to be in the past tense, so 〈is〉 is changed to 『was』 to conform to the contextual tense.
error_sentence: They were our mothers' "Shopping Paradise".
correct_sentence: They were our mothers' "Shopping Paradise."
error: ".
correction: ."
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: In English punctuation, the period should be placed inside the quotation marks, so 〈".〉 is changed to 『."』 to comply with punctuation rules.
error_sentence: They bought lots and lots of free goods.
correct_sentence: They bought lots and lots of duty-free goods.
correction: duty-
error_type: Adjective Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Adjective Error: Considering the context, it is clear that the intention is to express “duty-free goods”; 〈free goods〉 does not fit the context, so 『duty-』 is added before 〈free〉 to correctly express the meaning of the sentence.
error_sentence: The children looked around, all saw things in a blur.

correct_sentence: The children looked around and saw things in a blur.

error: , all
correction: and
error_type: Conjunction Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Conjunction Error: The conjunction 『and』 is needed here to connect the two predicates 〈looked around〉 and 〈saw〉, so 〈, all〉 is changed to 『and』 to comply with grammatical rules.
error_sentence: There were many places we couldn't attend.
correct_sentence: There were many places we couldn't visit.
error: attend
correction: visit
error_type: Verb Choice Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Choice Error: 〈attend〉 means “to participate in”, while visiting a place should use 『visit』, so 〈attend〉 is changed to 『visit』 to correctly express the meaning of the sentence.
error_sentence: But I also have many happy memories.
correct_sentence: But I still have many happy memories.
error: also
correction: still
error_type: Adverb Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Adverb Error: Considering the context, it is clear that the intention is to express “still have memories”, so 〈also〉 is changed to 『still』 to correctly express the meaning of the sentence.
error_sentence: Even though I was looking forward to swimming in the sea and eating some nice fruits. But we had less time to use.

correct_sentence: Even though I was looking forward to swimming in the sea and eating some nice fruits, we had less time to spend.

error: . But
correction: ,
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: 〈Even though〉 already indicates a concessive relationship, and the following clause should directly follow without an additional conjunction 〈But〉, and a comma should be used to connect the clauses to maintain coherence, so 〈. But〉 is changed to 『,』 to standardize the sentence structure.
error_sentence: But we had less time to use.

correct_sentence: Even though I was looking forward to swimming in the sea and eating some nice fruits, we had less time to spend.

error: use
correction: spend
error_type: Verb Choice Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Choice Error: To express “spend time”, 『spend time』 should be used, so 〈use〉 is changed to 『spend』 to correctly express the meaning of the sentence.
error_sentence: It had some reproach. But it was also beautiful.
correct_sentence: It had some flaws, but it was still beautiful.
error: reproach. But
correction: flaws, but
error_type: Noun Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Noun Error: 〈reproach〉 (blame) does not fit the context; 『flaws』, which describes shortcomings, should be used, so 〈reproach〉 is changed to 『flaws』 to correctly express the meaning of the sentence; ② Punctuation Error: 〈But〉 is used as a conjunction connecting two clauses and should be placed within the sentence, so 〈. But〉 is changed to 『, but』 to make the meaning coherent.
error_sentence: But it was also beautiful.
correct_sentence: It had some flaws, but it was still beautiful.
error: also
correction: still
error_type: Adverb Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Adverb Error: 『still』 is needed here to emphasize “beautiful despite flaws”, so 〈also〉 is changed to 『still』 to correctly express the meaning of the sentence.
error_sentence: Up to now,I am still much alive in Hong Kong 's memories.
correct_sentence: Up to now, I am still alive with memories of Hong Kong.
error: much alive in
correction: alive with memories of
error_type: Sentence Structure Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Sentence Structure Error: The original sentence is logically confused and semantically unclear; considering the context, it is clear that the intention is to express “Up to now, I am still alive with memories of Hong Kong”, so 〈much alive in〉 is changed to 『alive with memories of』 to make the meaning coherent and comply with grammatical rules.
error_sentence: Up to now,I am still much alive in Hong Kong 's memories.
correct_sentence: Up to now, I am still alive with memories of Hong Kong.
error: 's memories
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Word Redundancy Error: 『alive with memories of』 is already present, so 〈's memories〉 is deleted to standardize the sentence structure.
error_sentence: I hope we could also go there next time.
correct_sentence: I hope we could go there again next time.
error: also
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Word Redundancy Error: 〈also〉 indicates additional information and does not fit the sentence's meaning, so 〈also〉 is deleted to correctly express the meaning of the sentence.
error_sentence: I hope we could also go there next time.
correct_sentence: I hope we could go there again next time.
correction: again
error_type: Adverb Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Adverb Error: Considering the context, it is clear that the intention is to express “go to Hong Kong again”, so 『again』 is added after 〈there〉 to correctly express the meaning of the sentence.
error_sentence: But we also need look after the time.
correct_sentence: But we also need to manage the time.
error: look after
correction: to manage
error_type: Verb Choice Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Other Error: When 〈need〉 is used as a verb, it should be followed by an infinitive (to + base form of the verb), so 『to』 is added after 〈need〉 to comply with grammatical rules; ② Verb Choice Error: 〈look after〉 means “to take care of”, while “manage time” is needed here, so 〈look after〉 is changed to 『manage』 to correctly express the meaning of the sentence.