Writing prompt: A Speech on Good Eating Habits

Student essay:
Dear friends\nAs we all know,we are what we eat.Therefore,it is important for us to form healthy eating habits.More and more teenagers have an unhealthy diet . It is necessary for us to change it. Since the bad habits,like particular were deteriorating drastically in China.So we should advocate to have an activity which can change this situation. This prevent situation is bad for us. So we ought to have a new diet that is good for teenagers. We should eat less snacks and eat more varieties of food,like cabbage,onion ,to keep a balance. In my opinion,eat at regular hours is also important. If we don't attach importance to,we'll have poor constitution. So I propose that we should protect ourselves and pay more attention to our daily diet.

Corrected essay:
Dear friends,
As we all know, we are what we eat. Therefore, it is important for us to form healthy eating habits. More and more teenagers have an unhealthy diet. It is necessary for us to change it. Since the bad habits, in particular, were deteriorating drastically in China, we should advocate to have an activity that can change this situation. This situation is bad for us. So we ought to have a new diet that is good for teenagers. We should eat fewer snacks and eat more varieties of food, like cabbage and onion, to keep a balance. In my opinion, eating at regular hours is also important. If we don't attach importance to it, we'll have a poor constitution. So I propose that we should protect ourselves and pay more attention to our daily diet.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: Dear friends\nAs we all know,we are what we eat.
correct_sentence: Dear friends,
As we all know, we are what we eat.
error: friends\nAs
correction: friends,
As
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English writing conventions, a comma should follow the salutation in a letter before starting a new line for the body text; therefore, a necessary comma is missing and it should be changed to 『friends,』.
error_sentence: Since the bad habits,like particular were deteriorating drastically in China.
correct_sentence: Since the bad habits, in particular, were deteriorating drastically in China, we should advocate to have an activity that can change this situation.
error: like particular
correction: in particular,
error_type: Preposition Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: ① Preposition Error: The fixed phrase 『in particular』 should be used to mean 'especially'; the error uses the preposition 〈like〉, forming the ungrammatical 〈like particular〉, and should be changed to the preposition 『in』; ② Punctuation Error: When the phrase 'in particular' is placed in a sentence to emphasize or specify something, it is usually set off by commas. Therefore, a comma 『,』 should be added after 'particular' to conform to conventions.
error_sentence: Since the bad habits,like particular were deteriorating drastically in China. So we should advocate to have an activity which can change this situation.
correct_sentence: Since the bad habits, in particular, were deteriorating drastically in China, we should advocate to have an activity that can change this situation.
error: .So
correction: ,
error_type: Conjunction Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Punctuation Error: According to English writing conventions, punctuation should be used correctly in complex sentences with main and subordinate clauses; as indicated by the preceding adverbial clause of reason, a comma should be used here, changing 〈.〉 to 『,』; ② Conjunction Error: The sentence already begins with 〈Since〉 introducing an adverbial clause of reason; separating it from the main clause and starting a new sentence with 〈So〉 creates redundancy and improper connection, so 〈So〉 should be deleted to make the entire sentence logically coherent.
error_sentence: So we should advocate to have an activity which can change this situation.
correct_sentence: Since the bad habits, in particular, were deteriorating drastically in China, we should advocate to have an activity that can change this situation.
error: which
correction: that
error_type: Relative Word Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Relative Word Error: The relative pronoun 『that』 should preferably be used in restrictive relative clauses. The original sentence uses 〈which〉, which can be easily confused with non-restrictive relative clauses; changing it to 『that』 is more consistent with English grammar conventions and avoids ambiguity.
error_sentence: This prevent situation is bad for us.
correct_sentence: This situation is bad for us.
error: prevent
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: Word Redundancy Error: The meaningless verb 〈prevent〉 'to stop' was added before the noun 〈situation〉 'situation', causing semantic confusion and redundancy. After deleting 〈prevent〉, 『This situation』 is semantically complete and concise, meaning 'this situation'.
error_sentence: We should eat less snacks and eat more varieties of food,like cabbage,onion ,to keep a balance.
correct_sentence: We should eat fewer snacks and eat more varieties of food, like cabbage and onion, to keep a balance.
error: less
correction: fewer
error_type: Adjective Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Adjective Error: The original sentence's expression 'fewer snacks' in 〈less snacks〉 shows a collocation error, violating the usage rules for countable/uncountable quantifiers; the countable noun 〈snacks〉 needs to be paired with the comparative determiner 『fewer』, changing it to 『fewer』 conforms to grammatical rules.
error_sentence: We should eat less snacks and eat more varieties of food,like cabbage,onion ,to keep a balance.
correct_sentence: We should eat fewer snacks and eat more varieties of food, like cabbage and onion, to keep a balance.
error: ,
correction: and
error_type: Conjunction Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: Conjunction Error: When listing two items, they should be connected by the coordinating conjunction 『and』. The original sentence only uses a comma to separate 〈cabbage〉 and 〈onion〉, lacking the necessary conjunction; 〈,〉 should be changed to 『and』 to correctly complete the parallel structure.
error_sentence: In my opinion,eat at regular hours is also important.
correct_sentence: In my opinion, eating at regular hours is also important.
error: eat
correction: eating
error_type: Nonfinite Verb Form Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Nonfinite Verb Form Error: When a verb acts as the subject at the beginning of a sentence, it should be in the gerund form. The original sentence incorrectly uses the base form verb phrase 〈eat at regular hours〉, which cannot function as a subject; it should be changed to 『eating at regular hours』 to make it a subject that pairs with the following linking verb 〈is〉.
error_sentence: If we don't attach importance to,we'll have poor constitution.
correct_sentence: If we don't attach importance to it, we'll have a poor constitution.
error: ,we'll have
correction: it, we'll have a
error_type: Pronoun Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Pronoun Error: According to English preposition-object collocation, the preposition 〈to〉 requires an object; the original sentence lacks a referent after 〈to〉, so based on the context, the pronoun 『it』 needs to be added to form 『attach importance to it』 for semantic completeness; ② Space Error: According to English writing conventions, a space equivalent to one letter should be maintained between a comma or period and the following word; therefore, a space needs to be added and changed to 『, we'll』; ③ Determiner Error: According to English determiner-noun collocation rules, the countable noun 〈constitution〉 requires an indefinite article to express the general meaning of 'a poor constitution'; therefore, 『a』 needs to be added.