Writing prompt: My Life in the Future

Student essay:
I dream of I am a designer when I was a young.
Today my dream is come ture,I working in a company.I be good at work and get along with my workmates ,we having fun every day.I also having a beautiful house and big family,I having a car and I draving some place where is a peasful that I want to go .I will be study English and Franch,because l want to say mang langguges,and I want to travel around the world with my family.
I believe where there is a will ,there is a way.I hope this day coming early.

Corrected essay:
I dreamed of being a designer when I was young.
Today I am still working toward making my dream come true. I will work in a company. I will be good at my work and get along with my workmates. We will have fun every day. I will also have a beautiful house and a big family. I will have a car and I will drive to some peaceful places that I want to go. I will study English and French, because I want to speak many languages, and I want to travel around the world with my family.
I believe where there is a will, there is a way. I hope this day will come soon.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: I dream of I am a designer when I was a young.

correct_sentence: I dreamed of being a designer when I was young.

error: dream of I am
correction: dreamed of being
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Verb Tense Error: According to the context, 〈when I was a young〉 describes a past event, so the past simple tense should be used; the original sentence uses 〈dream〉 in the present simple tense, so it needs to be changed to the past simple tense 『dreamed』 to fit the context.; ② Nonfinite Verb Form Error: According to English grammar rules, 〈dream of〉 should be followed by a gerund; the form 〈I am〉 in the original sentence is incorrect, so 〈I am〉 should be changed to 『being』 to conform to grammar.
error_sentence: I dream of I am a designer when I was a young.

correct_sentence: I dreamed of being a designer when I was young.

error: a
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: According to English expression habits, an article is not needed before an adjective; 〈a young〉 in the original sentence is an incorrect expression, so the redundant 『a』 needs to be deleted to conform to idiomatic expression.
error_sentence: Today my dream is come ture,I working in a company.
correct_sentence: Today I am still working toward making my dream come true.
correction: I am still working toward making
error_type: Sentence Structure Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: Sentence Structure Error: According to the context, the intention here is to express 'I am still working to make my dream come true'; the original sentence has an incomplete structure and logical contradiction, so 〈my dream is come ture〉 needs to be changed to 『I am still working toward making my dream come true』 to clearly express the process of realizing the dream.
error_sentence: Today my dream is come ture,I working in a company.
correct_sentence: Today I am still working toward making my dream come true. I will work in a company.
error: is come ture,I working
correction: come true. I will work
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Verb Voice Error: According to the context, the active voice should be used here, while the original sentence 〈is come〉 is in the passive voice, which does not fit the meaning, so it needs to be changed to 『come true』 to indicate active voice.; ② Spelling Error: According to the meaning of the sentence, the intention here is to express 'come true', so 〈ture〉 is a misspelling of 『true』; 〈ture〉 needs to be changed to 『true』 to make the sentence coherent.; ③ Punctuation Error: According to English grammar rules, two independent clauses need to be separated by a period to avoid a run-on sentence; in the original sentence, 〈my dream is come ture〉 and 〈I working in a company〉 are two main clauses, so 〈,〉 needs to be changed to 『.』 to conform to grammar.; ④ Verb Tense Error: According to the context, the future simple tense should be used, while 〈working〉 in the original sentence is in the progressive tense, so 〈working〉 needs to be changed to the future simple tense 『will work』 to fit the context.
error_sentence: I be good at work and get along with my workmates ,we having fun every day.
correct_sentence: I will be good at my work and get along with my workmates.
correction: will
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: According to the context, the future simple tense should be used, while 〈be good at〉 in the original sentence is in the present simple tense, so 〈be good at〉 needs to be changed to the future simple tense 『will be good at』 to fit the context.
error_sentence: I be good at work and get along with my workmates ,we having fun every day.
correct_sentence: I will be good at my work and get along with my workmates.
correction: my
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: According to English grammar rules, the original sentence 〈work〉 lacks a necessary determiner to specify the object, so 『my』 needs to be added before 〈work〉 to clarify the possessive relationship.
error_sentence: I be good at work and get along with my workmates ,we having fun every day.
correct_sentence: I will be good at my work and get along with my workmates. We will have fun every day.
error: ,we having
correction: . We will have
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Punctuation Error: According to English grammar rules, two independent clauses need to be separated by a period to avoid a run-on sentence; in the original sentence, 〈I be good at...〉 and 〈we having fun...〉 are two main clauses, so 〈,〉 needs to be changed to 『.』 to conform to grammar.; ② Verb Tense Error: According to the context, the future simple tense should be used, while 〈having〉 in the original sentence is in the progressive tense, so 〈having〉 needs to be changed to the future simple tense 『will have』 to fit the context.
error_sentence: I also having a beautiful house and big family,I having a car and I draving some place where is a peasful that I want to go .I will be study English and Franch,because l want to say mang langguges,and I want to travel around the world with my family.

correct_sentence: I will also have a beautiful house and a big family.
error: also having
correction: will also have
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: According to the context, the future simple tense should be used, while 〈also having〉 in the original sentence is in the progressive tense, so 〈also having〉 needs to be changed to the future simple tense 『will also have』 to fit the context.
error_sentence: I also having a beautiful house and big family,I having a car and I draving some place where is a peasful that I want to go .I will be study English and Franch,because l want to say mang langguges,and I want to travel around the world with my family.

correct_sentence: I will also have a beautiful house and a big family.
correction: a
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: According to English expression habits, the indefinite article 『a』 is needed before the generic singular countable noun 〈family〉, so 〈big family〉 needs to be changed to 『a big family』 to conform to expression habits.
error_sentence: I also having a beautiful house and big family,I having a car and I draving some place where is a peasful that I want to go .I will be study English and Franch,because l want to say mang langguges,and I want to travel around the world with my family.

correct_sentence: I will also have a beautiful house and a big family. I will have a car and I will drive to some peaceful places that I want to go.
error: ,I having
correction: . I will have
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Punctuation Error: According to English grammar rules, two independent clauses need to be separated by a period to avoid a run-on sentence; in the original sentence, 〈I also having...〉 and 〈I having a car...〉 are two main clauses, so 〈,〉 needs to be changed to 『.』 to conform to grammar.; ② Verb Tense Error: According to the context, the future simple tense should be used, while 〈having〉 in the original sentence is in the progressive tense, so 〈having〉 needs to be changed to the future simple tense 『will have』 to fit the context.
error_sentence: I also having a beautiful house and big family,I having a car and I draving some place where is a peasful that I want to go .I will be study English and Franch,because l want to say mang langguges,and I want to travel around the world with my family.

correct_sentence: I will have a car and I will drive to some peaceful places that I want to go.
error: draving some place where is a peasful
correction: will drive to some peaceful places
error_type: Word Order Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Spelling Error: According to the meaning of the sentence, the intention here is to express 'drive', so 〈draving〉 is a misspelling of 『drive』; 〈draving〉 needs to be changed to 『drive』 to make the sentence coherent.; ② Verb Tense Error: According to the context, the future simple tense should be used, while 〈draving〉 in the original sentence is in the progressive tense, so 〈draving〉 needs to be changed to the future simple tense 『will drive』 to fit the context.; ③ Preposition Error: According to English expression habits, the meaning here is 'drive to a place', and 『drive to』 is a fixed phrase, so 『to』 needs to be added after 〈drive〉 to conform to expression habits.; ④ Word Order Error: According to English expression habits, the meaning here is 'some peaceful places'; the original phrase 〈some place where is a peasful〉 does not conform to idiomatic expression, so it needs to be changed to 『some peaceful places』 to conform to idiomatic expression.; ⑤ Spelling Error: According to the meaning of the sentence, the intention here is to express 'peaceful', so 〈peasful〉 is a misspelling of 『peaceful』; 〈peasful〉 needs to be changed to 『peaceful』 to make the sentence coherent.; ⑥ Noun Number Error: According to English grammar rules, the quantifier 〈some〉 needs to be followed by a plural noun to indicate multiple objects, while 〈place〉 in the original sentence is singular, so 〈place〉 needs to be changed to the plural form 『places』 to conform to English grammar rules.
error_sentence: I also having a beautiful house and big family,I having a car and I draving some place where is a peasful that I want to go .I will be study English and Franch,because l want to say mang langguges,and I want to travel around the world with my family.

correct_sentence: I will have a car and I will drive to some peaceful places that I want to go. I will study English and French, because I want to speak many languages, and I want to travel around the world with my family.

error: .I will be
correction: . I will
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Space Error: According to English writing conventions, a space is needed between punctuation and a word; the original sentence 〈.I〉 lacks a space, so 〈.I〉 needs to be changed to 『. I』 to conform to writing conventions.; ② Spelling Error: According to the meaning of the sentence, the intention here is to express 'I', so 〈I〉 is a misspelling of 『I』; 〈I〉 needs to be changed to 『I』 to make the sentence coherent.; ③ Word Redundancy: According to English grammar rules, the original phrase 〈will be study〉 has a redundant linking verb; the verb 'be' appearing alone means 'is/exists', so 〈be〉 should be deleted and changed to 『will study』 to conform to English grammar.
error_sentence: I also having a beautiful house and big family,I having a car and I draving some place where is a peasful that I want to go .I will be study English and Franch,because l want to say mang langguges,and I want to travel around the world with my family.

correct_sentence: I will study English and French, because I want to speak many languages, and I want to travel around the world with my family.

error: Franch
correction: French
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Spelling Error: According to the meaning of the sentence, the intention here is to express 'French', so 〈Franch〉 is a misspelling of 『French』; 〈Franch〉 needs to be changed to 『French』 to make the sentence coherent.
error_sentence: I also having a beautiful house and big family,I having a car and I draving some place where is a peasful that I want to go .I will be study English and Franch,because l want to say mang langguges,and I want to travel around the world with my family.

correct_sentence: I will study English and French, because I want to speak many languages, and I want to travel around the world with my family.

error: l
correction: I
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Spelling Error: According to the meaning of the sentence, the intention here is to express 'I', so 〈l〉 is a misspelling of 『I』; 〈l〉 needs to be changed to 『I』 to make the sentence coherent.
error_sentence: I also having a beautiful house and big family,I having a car and I draving some place where is a peasful that I want to go .I will be study English and Franch,because l want to say mang langguges,and I want to travel around the world with my family.

correct_sentence: I will study English and French, because I want to speak many languages, and I want to travel around the world with my family.

error: say mang langguges
correction: speak many languages
error_type: Verb Choice Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Verb Choice Error: According to the context, the sentence here means 'speak (languages)'; the verb 〈say〉 in the original sentence is not suitable for describing language ability and does not fit the meaning, so 〈say〉 needs to be changed to 『speak』 to fit the context.; ② Spelling Error: According to the meaning of the sentence, the intention here is to express 'many languages', so 〈mang langguges〉 is a misspelling of 『many languages』; 〈mang langguges〉 needs to be changed to 『many languages』 to make the sentence coherent.
error_sentence: I hope this day coming early.
correct_sentence: I hope this day will come soon.
error: coming early
correction: will come soon
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Verb Tense Error: According to the context, the future simple tense should be used, while 〈coming〉 in the original sentence is in the progressive tense, so 〈coming〉 needs to be changed to the future simple tense 『will come』 to fit the context.; ② Adverb Error: According to the context, the intention here is to express 'soon'; 〈early〉 is not suitable for expressing the proximity of time, so 〈early〉 needs to be changed to 『soon』 to conform to idiomatic expression and the context.