Writing prompt: School Studying Is More Important

Student essay:
I think school study is more important.
First,it is universally acknowledged that,teachers are useful to our study.Teachers can interpret exactly for our questions.So,my personal view is that it's important to have a teacher.
Second,in my opinion,working together as a class is useful.When we have questions,we can ask for pupils.We can also help others.It is a good way to improve our grade.
Third,it's a bad for us t o use computers for a long time.So,as far as I can see,we shouldn't spend much time in looking at computers.
In the word,school study is more important for us.

Corrected essay:
I think school study is more important.
First, it is universally acknowledged that teachers are useful to our study. Teachers can interpret exactly for our questions. So, my personal view is that it's important to have a teacher.
Second, in my opinion, working together as a class is useful. When we have questions, we can ask pupils. We can also help others. It is a good way to improve our grades.
Third, it's bad for us to use computers for a long time. So, as far as I can see, we shouldn't spend much time in looking at computers.
In a word, school study is more important for us.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: First,it is universally acknowledged that,teachers are useful to our study.
correct_sentence: First, it is universally acknowledged that teachers are useful to our study.
error: ,
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: ① Space Error: According to English writing conventions, there should be a space between punctuation marks and words, so 〈First,it〉 should be changed to 『First, it』; ② Punctuation Error: According to English writing conventions, when the conjunction 〈that〉 introduces a clause, no comma is needed after it to separate it from the clause, so the extra comma is deleted.
error_sentence: When we have questions,we can ask for pupils.
correct_sentence: When we have questions, we can ask pupils.
error: for
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: Word Redundancy Error: According to English expression habits, the verb phrase “ask sb.” meaning “to inquire of someone” does not require the preposition 〈for〉, so the redundant preposition 〈for〉 is deleted to conform to verb usage, meaning “to ask classmates”.
error_sentence: It is a good way to improve our grade.

correct_sentence: It is a good way to improve our grades.

error: grade
correction: grades
error_type: Noun Number Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Noun Number Error: According to the sentence's meaning, it expresses the general sense of improving grades in multiple subjects, not a single subject. When 〈grade〉 means “score” or “mark”, it is a countable noun, so the plural form 『grades』 should be used.
error_sentence: Third,it's a bad for us t o use computers for a long time.
correct_sentence: Third, it's bad for us to use computers for a long time.
error: a
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Determiner Error: According to English grammar rules, the determiner 〈a〉 before 〈bad〉 is redundant because the adjective 〈bad〉 cannot be directly paired with an article. Therefore, 〈a〉 is deleted to conform to grammatical rules.
error_sentence: Third,it's a bad for us t o use computers for a long time.
correct_sentence: Third, it's bad for us to use computers for a long time.
error: t o
correction: to
error_type: Space Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Space Error: According to English writing conventions, there should be no spaces between letters within a word. 〈t o〉 has an extra space and should be merged into the continuous word 『to』 to conform to word spelling norms.
error_sentence: In the word,school study is more important for us.
correct_sentence: In a word, school study is more important for us.
error: the
correction: a
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Determiner Error: According to English expression habits, the fixed phrase 〈in a word〉 means 『in short』 or 『to sum up』, used to introduce a summary or conclusion, and requires the indefinite article 〈a〉 instead of the definite article 〈the〉. Therefore, 〈the〉 is changed to 『a』 to conform to idiomatic expression.