Writing prompt: Should We Keep Animals in Zoos?

Student essay:
We shouldn't keep animals in zoos. Freedom is the most important thing for human beings or animals. All the people don't like the life of a small space, even the animals.
Animals like living in the wild because they can enjoy the natural life. They can go anywhere they want or do anything they like. Without any rules on them, they live more happier. But if they are put in a cage, the life of them will be more different.
It's cruel for humans to make animals keep off a free life. They also need freedom. But the life in the wild is so dangerous that we should do something for them. People should stop hunting or polluting the forest to protect the animals. Let's try our best to help them.

Corrected essay:
We shouldn't keep animals in zoos. Freedom is the most important thing for human beings or animals. None of the people like living in a small space, and neither do the animals.
Animals like living in the wild because they can enjoy the natural life. They can go anywhere they want or do anything they like. Without any rules on them, they live happier. But if they are put in a cage, the life of them will be very different.
It's cruel for humans to make animals give up a free life. They also need freedom. But life in the wild is so dangerous that we should do something for them. People should stop hunting or polluting the forest to protect the animals. Let's try our best to help them.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: All the people don't like the life of a small space, even the animals.

correct_sentence: None of the people like living in a small space, and neither do the animals.

error: All
correction: None of
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: According to English expression habits, the double negative structure 〈All...don't〉 does not conform to English expression habits; therefore, 〈All...don't〉 needs to be changed to 『None of』 to more accurately express the meaning of complete negation and avoid logical contradiction.
error_sentence: All the people don't like the life of a small space, even the animals.

correct_sentence: None of the people like living in a small space, and neither do the animals.

error: don't like the life of
correction: like living in
error_type: Nonfinite Verb Form Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Nonfinite Verb Form Error: According to English grammar rules, the verb 〈like〉 is followed by a gerund to express habitual preference; therefore, 〈like the life〉 in the original sentence needs to be changed to 『like living』 to conform to grammar rules and context; ② Preposition Error: According to English expression habits, 『in』 is used instead of 〈of〉 to indicate spatial limitation; therefore, the phrase 〈the life of〉 in the original sentence should be changed to 『living in』 to conform to expression habits.
error_sentence: All the people don't like the life of a small space, even the animals.

correct_sentence: None of the people like living in a small space, and neither do the animals.

error: even
correction: and neither do
error_type: Conjunction Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: Conjunction Error: According to the context, the intention here is to express 'animals also don't like'; the word 〈even〉 in the original sentence cannot correctly express the parallel negative relationship; therefore, 〈even〉 needs to be changed to 『and neither do』 to connect an inverted structure, better expressing the semantic logic that animals also dislike small spaces.
error_sentence: Without any rules on them, they live more happier.
correct_sentence: Without any rules on them, they live happier.
error: more
error_type: Adjective Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Adjective Error: According to English grammar rules, if a word is already in its comparative form, 〈more〉 should not be added; in the original sentence, 〈happier〉 is already a comparative, and 〈more happier〉 creates a double comparative error. Deleting the redundant word 〈more〉 conforms to the rule of single change for adjective comparatives.
error_sentence: But if they are put in a cage, the life of them will be more different.

correct_sentence: But if they are put in a cage, the life of them will be very different.

error: more
correction: very
error_type: Adjective Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Adjective Error: According to the context, the intention here is to express 'very different'; in the original sentence, 〈different〉 is a positive adjective, and 〈more different〉 implies a comparison object, but the context does not provide a reference; therefore, 〈more different〉 needs to be changed to 『very different』 to better fit the meaning.
error_sentence: It's cruel for humans to make animals keep off a free life.
correct_sentence: It's cruel for humans to make animals give up a free life.
error: keep off
correction: give up
error_type: Verb Choice Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Choice Error: According to the context, the sentence here means 'give up a free life'; in the original sentence, 〈keep off〉 emphasizes staying away, which does not fit the meaning; therefore, 〈keep off〉 needs to be changed to 『give up』 to fit the context.
error_sentence: But the life in the wild is so dangerous that we should do something for them.
correct_sentence: But life in the wild is so dangerous that we should do something for them.
error: the
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: According to English grammar rules, an article is not needed before an uncountable noun when used in a general sense; in the original sentence, 〈life〉 is an uncountable noun used generically, so no article is needed; deleting the redundant article 〈the〉 conforms to English grammar.