Writing prompt: My Birthday

Student essay:
Dear Editor,
nowadays, many students spends their birthday by sending presents or holding parties. The way like this became popular. What do you think of this kind of condition? Some believe that spending birthday by doing this can get the chance to chat with others, it's good for your friendship between you and your classmates. It also can have a rest in your spare time. But many people disagree with this idea, their opinion is that the students would waste lots of time and money on it and make them keep up with the Joneses. It's bad for their study and their mind, and I'll agree with these ideas. Yours
HARRY

Corrected essay:
Dear Editor,
Nowadays, many students spend their birthday by sending presents or holding parties. The way like this became popular. What do you think of this kind of condition? Some believe that spending a birthday by doing this gives you the chance to chat with others. It's good for the friendship between you and your classmates. It also allows you to have a rest in your spare time. But many people disagree with this idea. Their opinion is that students would waste lots of time and money on it and try to keep up with the Joneses. It's bad for their study and their mind, and I agree with these ideas.
Yours,
HARRY

Error analysis:
error_sentence: Dear Editor,
nowadays, many students spends their birthday by sending presents or holding parties.
correct_sentence: Dear Editor,
Nowadays, many students spend their birthday by sending presents or holding parties.
error: nowadays
correction: Nowadays
error_type: Case Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Case Error: According to English writing conventions, the first letter of a word at the beginning of a sentence needs to be capitalized; the original word 〈nowadays〉 is at the beginning of the sentence, so it needs to be changed from 〈nowadays〉 to 『Nowadays』 to conform to the convention.
error_sentence: Dear Editor,
nowadays, many students spends their birthday by sending presents or holding parties.
correct_sentence: Dear Editor,
Nowadays, many students spend their birthday by sending presents or holding parties.
error: spends
correction: spend
error_type: Subject-Verb Agreement Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Subject-Verb Agreement Error: According to English grammar rules, there is a subject-verb agreement error in the original sentence; the subject 〈many students〉 is plural, while the original verb 〈spends〉 is singular, therefore the verb 〈spends〉 needs to be changed to the plural form 『spend』 to maintain subject-verb agreement.
error_sentence: Some believe that spending birthday by doing this can get the chance to chat with others, it's good for your friendship between you and your classmates.
correct_sentence: Some believe that spending a birthday by doing this gives you the chance to chat with others.
correction: a
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: According to English grammar rules, a countable singular noun must be preceded by an article; the original sentence is missing the necessary determiner 『a』 before 〈birthday〉, therefore, the phrase is modified to 『spending a birthday』 to comply with English grammar rules.
error_sentence: Some believe that spending birthday by doing this can get the chance to chat with others, it's good for your friendship between you and your classmates.
correct_sentence: Some believe that spending a birthday by doing this gives you the chance to chat with others.
error: can get
correction: gives you
error_type: Verb Choice Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Choice Error: According to the context, the sentence here means 'gives you the chance'; the original phrase 〈can get〉 means 'can obtain', which does not fit the meaning, therefore 〈can get〉 needs to be changed to 『gives you』 to fit the context.
error_sentence: Some believe that spending birthday by doing this can get the chance to chat with others, it's good for your friendship between you and your classmates.
correct_sentence: Some believe that spending a birthday by doing this gives you the chance to chat with others. It's good for the friendship between you and your classmates.
error: , it
correction: . It
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English grammar rules, two independent clauses should be separated by a period to avoid a run-on sentence; in the original sentence, 〈Some believe that...〉 and 〈it's good for your friendship〉 are two main clauses, therefore the 〈,〉 is changed to 『.』 to comply with grammar.
error_sentence: Some believe that spending birthday by doing this can get the chance to chat with others, it's good for your friendship between you and your classmates.
correct_sentence: It's good for the friendship between you and your classmates.
error: your
correction: the
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: According to the context, 〈your〉 specifically refers to the reader, while the context discusses a general phenomenon, requiring 〈the〉 to refer to the specific friendship; therefore, 〈your friendship〉 is changed to 『the friendship』 to fit the context.
error_sentence: It also can have a rest in your spare time.
correct_sentence: It also allows you to have a rest in your spare time.
error: can
correction: allows you to
error_type: Verb Choice Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Choice Error: According to the context, the sentence here means 'allows you to'; the original word 〈can〉 means 'is able to', which does not fit the meaning, therefore 〈can〉 needs to be changed to 『allows you to』 to fit the context.
error_sentence: But many people disagree with this idea, their opinion is that the students would waste lots of time and money on it and make them keep up with the Joneses.
correct_sentence: But many people disagree with this idea. Their opinion is that students would waste lots of time and money on it and try to keep up with the Joneses.
error: , their
correction: . Their
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English grammar rules, two independent clauses should be separated by a period to avoid a run-on sentence; in the original sentence, 〈But many people...〉 and 〈their opinion is that...〉 are two main clauses, therefore the 〈,〉 is changed to 『.』 to comply with grammar.
error_sentence: But many people disagree with this idea, their opinion is that the students would waste lots of time and money on it and make them keep up with the Joneses.
correct_sentence: Their opinion is that students would waste lots of time and money on it and try to keep up with the Joneses.
error: the
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: According to English grammar rules, the plural noun 〈students〉 cannot be modified by the article 〈the〉; therefore, 〈the〉 needs to be deleted to comply with English grammar.
error_sentence: But many people disagree with this idea, their opinion is that the students would waste lots of time and money on it and make them keep up with the Joneses.
correct_sentence: Their opinion is that students would waste lots of time and money on it and try to keep up with the Joneses.
error: make them
correction: try to
error_type: Verb Choice Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Choice Error: According to the context, the sentence here means 'try to'; the original phrase 〈make them〉 implies compulsion, which does not fit the meaning, therefore 〈make them〉 needs to be changed to 『try to』 to fit the context.
error_sentence: It's bad for their study and their mind, and I'll agree with these ideas.
correct_sentence: It's bad for their study and their mind, and I agree with these ideas.

error: 'll
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: According to the context, the simple present tense should be used, whereas the original phrase 〈I'll〉 is in the future tense; therefore, 〈I'll agree〉 needs to be changed to the simple present tense 『I agree』 to fit the context.
error_sentence: Yours
HARRY
correct_sentence: It's bad for their study and their mind, and I agree with these ideas.
 Yours,
HARRY
error: Yours
correction: 
Yours,
error_type: Format Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: Format Error: According to English writing conventions, the closing format of the original letter is incorrect; a comma and a new line are needed after the original 〈Yours〉, therefore it is modified to 『Yours,』 and placed on a new line to conform to English letter format conventions.