Writing prompt: When I Have a Different Opinion

Student essay:
In organizing class activities,we may have different opinions.Although a few people should respect the opinions of the majority,I consider it is necessary that put forward different views when I am covinced that is better than others.
In modern society, sometimes it is not what most people think is right. The truth is often in the hands of a few people. When we can think out of others, we should be bold and try to convince you that this view tends to make it more perfect.
Once we were discussing where to go for an outing. Most of my classmates wanted to go to a park while I had an idea of going to a nicer place. I managed to persuade my classmates into accepting my idea. We did have a good time that day . Good opinions are worth sticking to because they can benefit us all.

Corrected essay:
In organizing class activities, we may have different opinions. Although a few people should respect the opinions of the majority, I consider it is necessary to put forward different views when I am convinced that they are better than others.
In modern society, sometimes it is not what most people think is right. The truth is often in the hands of a few people. When we can think out of the box, we should be bold and try to convince others that this view tends to make things more perfect.
Once we were discussing where to go for an outing. Most of my classmates wanted to go to a park while I had an idea of going to a nicer place. I managed to persuade my classmates into accepting my idea. We did have a good time that day. Good opinions are worth sticking to because they can benefit us all.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: Although a few people should respect the opinions of the majority,I consider it is necessary that put forward different views when I am covinced that is better than others.

correct_sentence: Although a few people should respect the opinions of the majority, I consider it is necessary to put forward different views when I am convinced that they are better than others.

error: that
correction: to
error_type: Nonfinite Verb Form Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Nonfinite Verb Form Error: According to English grammar rules, “consider it necessary” should be followed by an infinitive structure; the original sentence 〈consider it is necessary that put forward〉 does not meet this requirement, so 〈that put forward〉 should be changed to 『to put forward』.
error_sentence: Although a few people should respect the opinions of the majority,I consider it is necessary that put forward different views when I am covinced that is better than others.

correct_sentence: Although a few people should respect the opinions of the majority, I consider it is necessary to put forward different views when I am convinced that they are better than others.

error: covinced that is
correction: convinced that they are
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: ① Spelling Error: According to correct spelling rules, 〈covinced〉 is misspelled; it intends to express “convinced”, the correct spelling should be 『convinced』, so 〈covinced〉 needs to be changed to 『convinced』 to make the sentence coherent; ② Pronoun Error: In the original sentence, the pronoun 〈that〉 in 〈that is〉 unclearly refers to the plural noun 〈views〉, and the linking verb 〈is〉 does not agree in number with the plural noun; according to the rule that a pronoun must agree in number with its antecedent, 〈that is〉 should be changed to 『they are』 to ensure clear reference and grammatical correctness; ③ Verb Tense Error: Here the linking verb 〈is〉 does not match the subject (referring to the plural noun 〈views〉) in number; according to the principle of subject-verb agreement, the linking verb 〈is〉 should be changed to the plural form 『are』 to agree with the subject.
error_sentence: When we can think out of others, we should be bold and try to convince you that this view tends to make it more perfect.

correct_sentence: When we can think out of the box, we should be bold and try to convince others that this view tends to make things more perfect.

error: others
correction: the box
error_type: Noun Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Noun Error: According to common English expressions, the phrase 〈think out of others〉 is not idiomatic; the original sentence intends to express “to think outside the box”, the correct fixed phrase is 『think out of the box』, so 〈think out of others〉 should be changed to 『think out of the box』.
error_sentence: When we can think out of others, we should be bold and try to convince you that this view tends to make it more perfect.

correct_sentence: When we can think out of the box, we should be bold and try to convince others that this view tends to make things more perfect.

error: you
correction: others
error_type: Pronoun Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Pronoun Error: According to the context, the object of persuasion here should be “others”; in the original sentence, 〈you〉 in 〈convince you〉 does not fit the context and its meaning is unclear; 〈convince you〉 should be changed to 『convince others』 to make the semantic logic reasonable and clarify the object of the action.
error_sentence: When we can think out of others, we should be bold and try to convince you that this view tends to make it more perfect.

correct_sentence: When we can think out of the box, we should be bold and try to convince others that this view tends to make things more perfect.

error: it
correction: things
error_type: Pronoun Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Pronoun Error: According to the semantics of the context, 〈it〉 in the original phrase 〈make it more perfect〉 has no clear antecedent, its reference is unclear, and its meaning is vague. Changing 〈it〉 to 『things』 can generally indicate the object of improvement, making the sentence's meaning clearer, more accurate, and consistent with the contextual logic.