Writing prompt: Stay at Home Alone

Student essay:
Everyone has an experience of staying at home alone when his or her parents go out.
I have ever stayed at home by myself.But I don't want to be alone at home.Because I depend too much on my parents and I can't be away from them.But one day, my parents had something important,so they had to leave me alone at home. I wanted to go to school so had to stay at home alone. On that day as soon as I came back home from school,I happily threw my schoolbag on the sofa and ate lots of snacks.Then I enjoyed an exciting film on TV.Next, I played games on my mobile phone. After a while,I was so hungry that I wanted to eat something.I was about to cook dinner but I found I could only do some simple cooking.So I did some simple dishes.But the dishes were not delicious.I started to feel lonely.I wanted Mum and Dad to come home soon.Because I couldn't take care of myself well.
I think being home alone was not always perfect.So we shouldn't depend too much on our parents.We should learn to look after ourselves.

Corrected essay:
Everyone has an experience of staying at home alone when his or her parents go out.
I once stayed at home by myself. But I didn't want to be alone at home. Because I depended too much on my parents and couldn't be away from them. But one day, my parents had something important, so they had to leave me alone at home. I wanted to go to school but had to stay at home alone. On that day, as soon as I came back home from school, I happily threw my schoolbag on the sofa and ate lots of snacks. Then I enjoyed an exciting film on TV. Next, I played games on my mobile phone. After a while, I was so hungry that I wanted to eat something. I was about to cook dinner but I found I could only do some simple cooking. So I made some simple dishes. But the dishes were not delicious. I started to feel lonely. I wanted Mum and Dad to come home soon. Because I couldn't take care of myself well.
I think being home alone is not always perfect, but we shouldn't depend too much on our parents. We should learn to look after ourselves.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: I have ever stayed at home by myself.
correct_sentence: I once stayed at home by myself.
error: have ever
correction: once
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: According to the context, the simple past tense should be used, while in the original sentence 〈have ever〉 is in the present perfect tense, so 〈have ever〉 needs to be changed to the simple past tense 『once』 to fit the context.
error_sentence: But I don't want to be alone at home.
correct_sentence: But I didn't want to be alone at home.
error: do
correction: did
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: According to the context, the sentence describes an event that happened in the past and should use the simple past tense, while in the original sentence 〈do〉 is in the simple present tense, so 〈do〉 needs to be changed to the simple past tense 『did』 to fit the context.
error_sentence: Because I depend too much on my parents and I can't be away from them.
correct_sentence: Because I depended too much on my parents and couldn't be away from them.
error: depend
correction: depended
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: According to the context, the sentence describes an event that happened in the past and should use the simple past tense, while in the original sentence 〈depend〉 is in the simple present tense, so 〈depend〉 needs to be changed to the simple past tense 『depended』 to fit the context.
error_sentence: Because I depend too much on my parents and I can't be away from them.
correct_sentence: Because I depended too much on my parents and couldn't be away from them.
error: I ca
correction: could
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Word Redundancy Error: According to English expression habits, a word that appears twice only needs to be kept once; in the original sentence, 〈I〉 appears twice, so deleting the second redundant 〈I〉 can make the sentence more concise without affecting its meaning; ② Verb Tense Error: According to the context, the sentence describes an event that happened in the past and should use the simple past tense, while in the original sentence 〈can't〉 is in the simple present tense, so 〈can't〉 needs to be changed to the simple past tense 『couldn't』 to fit the context.
error_sentence: I wanted to go to school so had to stay at home alone.
correct_sentence: I wanted to go to school but had to stay at home alone.
error: so
correction: but
error_type: Conjunction Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Conjunction Error: According to the context, the sentence expresses a contrasting relationship; the conjunction 〈so〉 does not fit the semantic logic, so it needs to be changed to the contrasting conjunction 『but』 to fit the context.
error_sentence: On that day as soon as I came back home from school,I happily threw my schoolbag on the sofa and ate lots of snacks.
correct_sentence: On that day, as soon as I came back home from school, I happily threw my schoolbag on the sofa and ate lots of snacks.
correction: ,
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English expression habits, the time adverbial 〈On that day〉 in the original sentence, as an independent component, needs to be separated from the main clause by a comma, so a 『,』 is added after 〈On that day〉 to comply with English punctuation usage rules.
error_sentence: Then I enjoyed an exciting film on TV.Next, I played games on my mobile phone.
correct_sentence: Then I enjoyed an exciting film on TV. Next, I played games on my mobile phone.
error: TV.Next
correction: TV. Next
error_type: Space Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Space Error: According to English writing conventions, there needs to be a space between punctuation and words; the original sentence 〈TV.Next〉 lacks a space, so 〈TV.Next〉 needs to be changed to 『TV. Next』 to comply with writing conventions.
error_sentence: So I did some simple dishes.
correct_sentence: So I made some simple dishes.
error: did
correction: made
error_type: Verb Choice Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Choice Error: According to the context, the sentence here means "to make"; in the original sentence, 〈did〉 is not suitable for expressing the specific action of making and does not fit the meaning, so 〈did〉 needs to be changed to 『made』 to fit the context.
error_sentence: I think being home alone was not always perfect.
correct_sentence: I think being home alone is not always perfect, but we shouldn't depend too much on our parents.
error: was
correction: is
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: According to the context, the main clause 「I think」 uses the simple present tense, while in the original sentence 〈was〉 is in the simple past tense, so 〈was〉 needs to be changed to the simple present tense 『is』 to fit the context.
error_sentence: I think being home alone was not always perfect. So we shouldn't depend too much on our parents.
correct_sentence: I think being home alone is not always perfect, but we shouldn't depend too much on our parents.
error: .So
correction: , but
error_type: Conjunction Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Punctuation Error: According to English grammar rules, in a compound sentence, the conjunction 〈So〉 needs to be preceded by a comma to separate the main and subordinate clauses, so 〈.So〉 needs to be changed to 『, but』 to comply with grammar rules; ② Conjunction Error: According to the context, the sentence expresses a contrasting relationship; the conjunction 〈So〉 does not fit the semantic logic, so it needs to be changed to the contrasting conjunction 『but』 to fit the context; ③ Space Error: According to English written expression conventions, a space of one letter needs to be kept between a punctuation mark (comma or period) and the following word, so a space needs to be added and changed to 『, but』.