Writing prompt: Celebrity Worship

Student essay:
Recently, it is a very common phenomenon that teenagers like a star. Somebody is crazy for celebrity worship.
In my view, I think it is not a bad thing for teenagers to like a star if they do not be crazy about it. Some teenagers liking a star because they cannot be a famous person when they are in their real life. But if somebody is so crazy for celebrity worship, he will not be a great student that everyone will think they are not a good person.
In a word, if only you can be calm with it, that like a star will not a bad thing

Corrected essay:
Recently, it is a very common phenomenon that teenagers like a star. Some people are crazy about celebrity worship.
In my view, I think it is not a bad thing for teenagers to like a star if they are not crazy about it. Some teenagers like a star because they cannot be a famous person when they are in their real life. But if somebody is so crazy about celebrity worship, they will not be a great student. Everyone will think they are not a good person.
In a word, if you can be calm about it, liking a star will not be a bad thing.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: Somebody is crazy for celebrity worship.

correct_sentence: Some people are crazy about celebrity worship.

error: Somebody is crazy for
correction: Some people are crazy about
error_type: Pronoun Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Pronoun Error: According to the sentence meaning, this part intends to express "some people," requiring a plural form. In the original sentence, 〈Somebody〉 as a singular pronoun does not fit the meaning, so 〈Somebody is〉 needs to be changed to 『Some people are』 to fit the context of expressing a group phenomenon; ② Preposition Error: According to English expression habits, 『crazy about』 emphasizes emotional investment and obsession, while 〈crazy for〉 emphasizes an urgent desire to obtain. Therefore, in the original sentence, 〈crazy for〉 needs to be changed to 『crazy about』 to fit the fixed collocation in the context.
error_sentence: In my view, I think it is not a bad thing for teenagers to like a star if they do not be crazy about it.
correct_sentence: In my view, I think it is not a bad thing for teenagers to like a star if they are not crazy about it.
error: do not be
correction: are not
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: According to English grammar rules, the present tense should be used in conditional adverbial clauses to express a factual state. In the original sentence, 〈do not be〉 does not conform to the grammatical structure, so 〈do not be〉 needs to be changed to the present tense linking verb 『are not』 to conform to the tense.
error_sentence: Some teenagers liking a star because they cannot be a famous person when they are in their real life.
correct_sentence: Some teenagers like a star because they cannot be a famous person when they are in their real life.
error: liking
correction: like
error_type: Nonfinite Verb Form Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Nonfinite Verb Form Error: According to English grammar rules, the construction of a sentence requires a predicate. The main clause predicate verb is missing in the original sentence. 〈liking〉, as a nonfinite verb, cannot independently serve as a predicate, so 〈liking〉 needs to be changed to the present tense verb 『like』 to conform to grammar.
error_sentence: But if somebody is so crazy for celebrity worship, he will not be a great student that everyone will think they are not a good person.

correct_sentence: But if somebody is so crazy about celebrity worship, they will not be a great student.
error: for
correction: about
error_type: Preposition Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Preposition Error: According to English expression habits, 『crazy about』 emphasizes emotional investment and obsession, while 〈crazy for〉 emphasizes an urgent desire to obtain. Therefore, in the original sentence, 〈crazy for〉 needs to be changed to 『crazy about』 to fit the fixed collocation in the context.
error_sentence: But if somebody is so crazy for celebrity worship, he will not be a great student that everyone will think they are not a good person.

correct_sentence: But if somebody is so crazy about celebrity worship, they will not be a great student.
error: he
correction: they
error_type: Pronoun Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Pronoun Error: According to English grammar rules, when a singular noun refers to a person, 『he』 should be used. In the original sentence, 〈somebody〉 is singular, and the subsequent pronoun should be in the singular form 『he』 to maintain number agreement. Therefore, 〈they〉 needs to be changed to 『he』 to conform to English grammar.
error_sentence: But if somebody is so crazy for celebrity worship, he will not be a great student that everyone will think they are not a good person.

correct_sentence: But if somebody is so crazy about celebrity worship, they will not be a great student. Everyone will think they are not a good person.

error: that everyone
correction: . Everyone
error_type: Sentence Structure Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: Sentence Structure Error: According to the context, the relative clause 〈that everyone...〉 is logically confusing, leading to an unclear main-subordinate clause relationship. Therefore, 〈that everyone...〉 needs to be split into an independent sentence 『. Everyone...』 to maintain semantic clarity.
error_sentence: In a word, if only you can be calm with it, that like a star will not a bad thing
correct_sentence: In a word, if you can be calm about it, liking a star will not be a bad thing.
error: only
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: Word Redundancy Error: According to English expression habits, 〈if only〉 expresses a strong wish, which is inconsistent with the contextual logic. Therefore, the redundant word 『only』 needs to be deleted, retaining the conditional conjunction 〈if〉 to conform to expression habits.
error_sentence: In a word, if only you can be calm with it, that like a star will not a bad thing
correct_sentence: In a word, if you can be calm about it, liking a star will not be a bad thing.
error: with
correction: about
error_type: Preposition Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Preposition Error: According to English expression habits, 『calm about』 emphasizes a calm attitude towards a specific matter, while 〈calm for〉 emphasizes staying calm with someone. Therefore, in the original sentence, 〈calm for〉 needs to be changed to 『calm about』 to fit the fixed collocation in the context.
error_sentence: In a word, if only you can be calm with it, that like a star will not a bad thing
correct_sentence: In a word, if you can be calm about it, liking a star will not be a bad thing.
error: that like
correction: liking
error_type: Relative Word Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Relative Word Error: According to the context, 〈that〉 in the original sentence lacks clear reference, so the relative word 〈that〉 needs to be deleted to make the sentence meaning clear; ② Nonfinite Verb Form Error: According to the context, a present participle form expressing a concomitant state is required here. In the original sentence, 〈like〉 does not fit the semantic logic of a concomitant action, so it is changed to the present participle 『liking』 as an adverbial of accompaniment to fit the context.
error_sentence: In a word, if only you can be calm with it, that like a star will not a bad thing
correct_sentence: In a word, if you can be calm about it, liking a star will not be a bad thing.
correction: be
error_type: Verb Choice Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Choice Error: According to the context, the sentence here means "is not a bad thing". In the original sentence 〈will not a bad thing〉, the linking verb is missing, leading to an incomplete sentence structure. Therefore, 〈will not a bad thing〉 needs to be changed to 『will not be a bad thing』 to fit the context.
error_sentence: In a word, if only you can be calm with it, that like a star will not a bad thing
correct_sentence: In a word, if you can be calm about it, liking a star will not be a bad thing.
correction: .
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to writing conventions, a complete sentence requires a period. The original sentence 〈like a star will not a bad thing〉 is structurally complete but lacks a period at the end. Therefore, it is changed to 『liking a star will not be a bad thing.』 to conform to English punctuation usage rules.