Writing prompt: An Exam

Student essay:
Last month, more than one hundred students admitted part in an exam in our school. When the school announced results, in my surprise, my friend, Tom was at the top of list, but I was at the bottom of school report card. At that time, not only Tom advised us to hard work, but also he agreed to make offers to lessons. After that time, I am going to formulate time. What's more, I do more exercises in order to improve my study, I decided to try my best in study, and my aim was to make progress in learning.I think studying is important for us now.

Corrected essay:
Last month, more than one hundred students took part in an exam in our school. When the school announced the results, to my surprise, my friend Tom was at the top of the list, but I was at the bottom of the school report card. At that time, not only did Tom advise us to work hard, but he also agreed to offer help with lessons. After that time, I formulated a schedule. What's more, I did more exercises in order to improve my studies. I decided to try my best in studying, and my aim was to make progress in learning. I think studying is important for us now.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: Last month, more than one hundred students admitted part in an exam in our school.
correct_sentence: Last month, more than one hundred students took part in an exam in our school.
error: admitted
correction: took
error_type: Verb Choice Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Choice Error: Based on the context, the intended meaning is to participate in an activity; the original sentence uses 〈admitted〉, which does not fit the semantic requirement and should be changed to 『took』 to accurately express the meaning.
error_sentence: When the school announced results, in my surprise, my friend, Tom was at the top of list, but I was at the bottom of school report card.
correct_sentence: When the school announced the results, to my surprise, my friend Tom was at the top of the list, but I was at the bottom of the school report card.
correction: the
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: Based on the context, it refers to specific exam results, so the definite article 『the』 needs to be added before 〈results〉 to make the sentence clear.
error_sentence: When the school announced results, in my surprise, my friend, Tom was at the top of list, but I was at the bottom of school report card.
correct_sentence: When the school announced the results, to my surprise, my friend Tom was at the top of the list, but I was at the bottom of the school report card.
error: in
correction: to
error_type: Preposition Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Preposition Error: According to English expression habits, the preposition 〈in〉 does not fit the idiomatic phrase for expressing surprise; the preposition 『to』 should be used to indicate the object of surprise, therefore 〈in my surprise〉 is changed to 『to my surprise』.
error_sentence: When the school announced results, in my surprise, my friend, Tom was at the top of list, but I was at the bottom of school report card.
correct_sentence: When the school announced the results, to my surprise, my friend Tom was at the top of the list, but I was at the bottom of the school report card.
error: ,
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English expression habits, 〈my friend Tom〉 acts as an appositive in the sentence and does not require a comma in between, so the extra comma is deleted.
error_sentence: When the school announced results, in my surprise, my friend, Tom was at the top of list, but I was at the bottom of school report card.
correct_sentence: When the school announced the results, to my surprise, my friend Tom was at the top of the list, but I was at the bottom of the school report card.
correction: the
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: Based on the context, it refers to a specific list, so the definite article 『the』 needs to be added before 〈list〉 to make the sentence clear.
error_sentence: When the school announced results, in my surprise, my friend, Tom was at the top of list, but I was at the bottom of school report card.
correct_sentence: When the school announced the results, to my surprise, my friend Tom was at the top of the list, but I was at the bottom of the school report card.
correction: the
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: Based on the context, it refers to a specific report card, so the definite article 『the』 needs to be added before the singular countable noun 〈school report card〉 to make the sentence clear.
error_sentence: At that time, not only Tom advised us to hard work, but also he agreed to make offers to lessons.
correct_sentence: At that time, not only did Tom advise us to work hard, but he also agreed to offer help with lessons.
error: Tom advised
correction: did Tom advise
error_type: Sentence Structure Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Sentence Structure Error: Based on the context, the structure 『not only...but also』 is used here; the original phrase 〈Tom advised〉 does not conform to English sentence structure rules and is unclear in meaning, so it should be changed to 『did Tom advise』.
error_sentence: At that time, not only Tom advised us to hard work, but also he agreed to make offers to lessons.
correct_sentence: At that time, not only did Tom advise us to work hard, but he also agreed to offer help with lessons.
error: hard work
correction: work hard
error_type: Word Order Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Word Order Error: According to English expression habits, 〈work hard〉 is a fixed collocation where an adverb modifies a verb; the adjective 〈hard〉 should be placed after the verb 〈work〉, therefore 〈hard work〉 is changed to 『work hard』.
error_sentence: At that time, not only Tom advised us to hard work, but also he agreed to make offers to lessons.
correct_sentence: At that time, not only did Tom advise us to work hard, but he also agreed to offer help with lessons.
error: also he
correction: he also
error_type: Word Order Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Word Order Error: According to English expression habits, 『but he also』 is a fixed conjunction phrase; the adverb 〈also〉 should be placed after the subject 〈he〉, therefore 〈also he〉 is changed to 『he also』.
error_sentence: At that time, not only Tom advised us to hard work, but also he agreed to make offers to lessons.
correct_sentence: At that time, not only did Tom advise us to work hard, but he also agreed to offer help with lessons.
error: make offers to
correction: offer help with
error_type: Verb Choice Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Choice Error: Based on the context, the intended meaning is “to offer help with lessons”; the original phrase 〈make offers to〉 does not fit the semantic requirement and should be changed to 『offer help with』 to accurately express the meaning.
error_sentence: After that time, I am going to formulate time.
correct_sentence: After that time, I formulated a schedule.
error: am going to formulate time
correction: formulated a schedule
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Verb Tense Error: Based on the context, this describes past events and should use the past tense; therefore, 〈am going to formulate〉 is changed to the past tense 『formulated』 to match the past narrative time frame; ② Noun Error: Based on the context, the intention is to express a specific time arrangement; the original use of 〈time〉 is unclear, so it is changed to 『a schedule』 to accurately express the meaning.
error_sentence: What's more, I do more exercises in order to improve my study, I decided to try my best in study, and my aim was to make progress in learning.
correct_sentence: What's more, I did more exercises in order to improve my studies.
error: do
correction: did
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: Based on the context, this describes past events and should use the past tense; therefore, 〈do〉 is changed to the past tense 『did』 to match the past narrative time frame.
error_sentence: What's more, I do more exercises in order to improve my study, I decided to try my best in study, and my aim was to make progress in learning.
correct_sentence: What's more, I did more exercises in order to improve my studies.
error: study,
correction: studies.
error_type: Noun Number Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: ① Noun Number Error: Based on the sentence meaning, the intention is to express multiple subjects of study, so the plural form should be used; therefore, the singular form 〈study〉 is changed to the plural form 『studies』; ② Punctuation Error: 〈 I did more exercises in order to improve my studies〉 and 〈I decided to try…〉 contain independent predicate structures/subject-verb structures and can be independent sentences, so the comma needs to be changed to a period.
error_sentence: What's more, I do more exercises in order to improve my study, I decided to try my best in study, and my aim was to make progress in learning.
correct_sentence: I decided to try my best in studying, and my aim was to make progress in learning.
error: study
correction: studying
error_type: Nonfinite Verb Form Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Nonfinite Verb Form Error: According to English grammar rules, the preposition 〈in〉 must be followed by a gerund form; therefore, the base form of the verb 〈study〉 is changed to the gerund form 『studying』.