Writing prompt: Competition

Student essay:
Comepetition has been fierce in the contemporary age and can be seen every where nowadays. One reason for this is that they hold it, but others are not.
it is obvious that we are living in a dog-eat-dog time, and competition is so fierce that can be seen everywhere and everytime.
Some of them are in favor of the idea that competition can encourage people to work harder and harder that they can attain success. It is true that competition can help us to be a successful man. Wonderful as it is, however, it has its own disadvantages too. Such lavish competition may bring people tension, making them feel anxious, even drive them mad.
As far as i concerned, i don't think there should be no competition, but i think the competition should not be excessive. Properly competition is good for people.

Corrected essay:
Competition has been fierce in the contemporary age and can be seen everywhere nowadays. One reason for this is that some people hold it, but others do not.
It is obvious that we are living in a dog-eat-dog time, and competition is so fierce that it can be seen everywhere and every time.
Some of them are in favor of the idea that competition can encourage people to work harder and harder so that they can attain success. It is true that competition can help us to be successful. Wonderful as it is, however, it has its own disadvantages too. Such lavish competition may bring people tension, making them feel anxious, or even driving them mad.
As far as I am concerned, I don't think there should be no competition, but I think competition should not be excessive. Proper competition is good for people.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: Comepetition has been fierce in the contemporary age and can be seen every where nowadays.
correct_sentence: Competition has been fierce in the contemporary age and can be seen everywhere nowadays.
error: Comepetition
correction: Competition
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Spelling Error: According to English word formation rules, 〈Comepetition〉 is misspelled; the correct spelling should be 『Competition』 (note m is followed by p), which is the standard noun form for “competition”.
error_sentence: Comepetition has been fierce in the contemporary age and can be seen every where nowadays.
correct_sentence: Competition has been fierce in the contemporary age and can be seen everywhere nowadays.
error: every where
correction: everywhere
error_type: Space Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Space Error: According to English compound adverb writing conventions, 〈every where〉 should be written as a single word 『everywhere』 (note no space in between), which is the correct form for “everywhere”.
error_sentence: One reason for this is that they hold it, but others are not.

correct_sentence: One reason for this is that some people hold it, but others do not.

error: they
correction: some people
error_type: Pronoun Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Pronoun Error: According to the principle of clear English reference, the pronoun 〈they〉 lacks a clear antecedent and should be replaced with the specific noun phrase 『some people』 as the subject to make the meaning clearer.
error_sentence: One reason for this is that they hold it, but others are not.

correct_sentence: One reason for this is that some people hold it, but others do not.

error: are
correction: do
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Auxiliary Error: According to English interrogative sentence formation rules, the auxiliary verb for the verb 〈hold〉 should be 『do』 not 〈are〉; therefore, 〈are〉 is changed to 『do』 to form the correct negative form 『do not hold』.
error_sentence: it is obvious that we are living in a dog-eat-dog time, and competition is so fierce that can be seen everywhere and everytime.

correct_sentence: It is obvious that we are living in a dog-eat-dog time, and competition is so fierce that it can be seen everywhere and every time.

error: it
correction: It
error_type: Case Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Case Error: According to English sentence-initial capitalization rules, the initial word of the sentence 〈it〉 should be changed to 『It』 (capitalized first letter) to conform to written language norms.
error_sentence: it is obvious that we are living in a dog-eat-dog time, and competition is so fierce that can be seen everywhere and everytime.

correct_sentence: It is obvious that we are living in a dog-eat-dog time, and competition is so fierce that it can be seen everywhere and every time.

correction: it
error_type: Pronoun Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Pronoun Error: According to the completeness requirement of the “so...that” structure, a subject 『it』 referring to the preceding 〈competition〉 needs to be added after 〈that〉 to form a complete clause 『that it becomes...』.
error_sentence: it is obvious that we are living in a dog-eat-dog time, and competition is so fierce that can be seen everywhere and everytime.

correct_sentence: It is obvious that we are living in a dog-eat-dog time, and competition is so fierce that it can be seen everywhere and every time.

error: everytime
correction: every time
error_type: Space Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Space Error: According to English time adverbial expression norms, 〈everytime〉 should be written as two words 『every time』 (with a space in between), which is the correct form for “every time”.
error_sentence: Some of them are in favor of the idea that competition can encourage people to work harder and harder that they can attain success.
correct_sentence: Some of them are in favor of the idea that competition can encourage people to work harder and harder so that they can attain success.
correction: so
error_type: Conjunction Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Conjunction Error: According to the rules for connecting English comparative degrees with result clauses, the conjunction 『so』 needs to be added between 〈harder and harder〉 and the result to clarify the logical relationship, using the structure 『so that』 (therefore) to clarify the progressive relationship.
error_sentence: It is true that competition can help us to be a successful man.
correct_sentence: It is true that competition can help us to be successful.
error: a successful man
correction: successful
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Word Redundancy: According to the principle of conciseness in English expression, the gendered expression 〈a successful man〉 is unnecessary and not universally applicable; 〈a〉 and 〈man〉 are redundant. Using the adjective 『successful』 directly is sufficient to fully express the meaning, maintaining gender neutrality and conciseness.
error_sentence: Such lavish competition may bring people tension, making them feel anxious, even drive them mad.

correct_sentence: Such lavish competition may bring people tension, making them feel anxious, or even driving them mad.

error: even drive
correction: or even driving
error_type: Conjunction Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Conjunction Error: A coordinating conjunction is missing between the two present participle phrases; according to English parallel structure rules, 『or』 should be added to indicate an alternative consequential relationship. The complete correction is 『making them feel anxious, or even driving them mad』, conforming to the “present participle phrase + or + present participle phrase” parallel structure; ② Nonfinite Verb Form Error: In the parallel structure, 〈drive〉 is inconsistent in form with 〈making〉; according to the principle of parallelism, it should be uniformly changed to the present participle 『driving』. The correction maintains grammatical symmetry.
error_sentence: As far as i concerned, i don't think there should be no competition, but i think the competition should not be excessive.
correct_sentence: As far as I am concerned, I don't think there should be no competition, but I think competition should not be excessive.
error: i
correction: I am
error_type: Auxiliary Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Case Error: According to English sentence-initial capitalization rules, the initial pronoun 〈i〉 violates basic English writing norms and must be capitalized as 『I』 to comply with grammatical rules; ② Auxiliary Error: The fixed phrase 〈as far as I concerned〉 is structurally incomplete; according to standard expression, the auxiliary verb 『am』 needs to be added to form the complete structure 『as far as I am concerned』 to comply with grammatical rules.
error_sentence: As far as i concerned, i don't think there should be no competition, but i think the competition should not be excessive.
correct_sentence: As far as I am concerned, I don't think there should be no competition, but I think competition should not be excessive.
error: i
correction: I
error_type: Case Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Case Error: According to English sentence-initial capitalization rules, the initial pronoun 〈i〉 violates basic English writing norms and must be capitalized as 『I』 to comply with grammatical rules.
error_sentence: As far as i concerned, i don't think there should be no competition, but i think the competition should not be excessive.
correct_sentence: As far as I am concerned, I don't think there should be no competition, but I think competition should not be excessive.
error: i think the
correction: I think
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: ① Case Error: According to English sentence-initial capitalization rules, the initial pronoun 〈i〉 violates basic English writing norms and must be capitalized as 『I』 to comply with grammatical rules; ② Determiner Error: According to English article usage rules, when 〈competition〉 expresses a general concept, the redundant definite article 『the』 should be deleted to simplify the expression.
error_sentence: Properly competition is good for people.
correct_sentence: Proper competition is good for people.
error: Properly
correction: Proper
error_type: PoS Confusion Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: PoS Confusion: The adverb 〈Properly〉 cannot modify a noun; according to the basic rule that adjectives modify nouns, it should be changed to the adjective 『Proper』. The complete correction is 『Proper competition is good for people.』.