Writing prompt: Should High School Students Get Online Frequently?

Student essay:
Recently I have carried out a survey on whether high school students should get online and my classmates hold different opinions on it.
Some of them who had a positive attitude to the Interent said we can access information via it as well as broaden our minds.What's more,the Internet makes ti possible for us to communicate woth each other whenever and wherever.And we share our ideas and photos freely.We are able to surf the Internet in order to relax ourselves when we are exhausted.
In others opinion ,going online frequenly has many disadvantages.The reasons are follow.When we go online ,we sit too close to the screen and it's bad for our eyesight.Some students even be hooked on computer games and chatting.It makes difference to their study and dailylife.
In my view,the Internet has both positive and negative influence on us.What we should do is using the Internet in a right way and let ie be our teacher and friend.

Corrected essay:
Recently, I have carried out a survey on whether high school students should get online and my classmates hold different opinions on it.
Some of them who have a positive attitude toward the Internet say we can access information via it as well as broaden our minds. What's more, the Internet makes it possible for us to communicate with each other whenever and wherever. And we share our ideas and photos freely. We are able to surf the Internet in order to relax ourselves when we are exhausted.
In others' opinion, going online frequently has many disadvantages. The reasons are as follows. When we go online, we sit too close to the screen and it's bad for our eyesight. Some students even get hooked on computer games and chatting. It makes a difference to their study and daily life.
In my view, the Internet has both positive and negative influences on us. What we should do is using the Internet in a right way and let it be our teacher and friend.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: Recently I have carried out a survey on whether high school students should get online and my classmates hold different opinions on it.

correct_sentence: Recently, I have carried out a survey on whether high school students should get online and my classmates hold different opinions on it.

correction: ,
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English writing conventions, when the adverb of time 〈Recently〉 is at the beginning of a sentence, it needs to be separated from the main clause by a comma; therefore, it is corrected to 『Recently,』 to ensure correct punctuation usage.
error_sentence: Some of them who had a positive attitude to the Interent said we can access information via it as well as broaden our minds.
correct_sentence: Some of them who have a positive attitude toward the Internet say we can access information via it as well as broaden our minds.
error: had
correction: have
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: Since the main clause describes a currently held opinion, the simple present tense should be used. The original sentence's use of the past tense 〈had〉 does not fit the context, so it is changed to the present tense 『have』 to maintain tense consistency.
error_sentence: Some of them who had a positive attitude to the Interent said we can access information via it as well as broaden our minds.
correct_sentence: Some of them who have a positive attitude toward the Internet say we can access information via it as well as broaden our minds.
error: to the Interent said
correction: toward the Internet say
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Preposition Error: In English, to express 'attitude towards something', the fixed phrase 『attitude toward』 should be used instead of 〈attitude to〉. Therefore, 〈to〉 is changed to 『toward』 to conform to standard usage; ② Spelling Error: 〈Interent〉 is a misspelling; the correct form is the proper noun 『Internet』 (capitalized), meaning 'the internet', so the spelling is corrected to ensure word accuracy; ③ Verb Tense Error: The main clause states a general opinion and requires the simple present tense. The original sentence's past tense 〈said〉 does not fit the context, so it is changed to 『say』 to meet tense requirements.
error_sentence: What's more,the Internet makes ti possible for us to communicate woth each other whenever and wherever.
correct_sentence: What's more, the Internet makes it possible for us to communicate with each other whenever and wherever.
error: ti
correction: it
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Spelling Error: 〈ti〉 is a pronoun misspelling; according to the context, the referent is 〈the Internet〉, so the correct pronoun form 『it』 should be used to ensure clear reference and conform to semantic and standard spelling rules.
error_sentence: What's more,the Internet makes ti possible for us to communicate woth each other whenever and wherever.
correct_sentence: What's more, the Internet makes it possible for us to communicate with each other whenever and wherever.
error: woth
correction: with
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Spelling Error: According to English writing conventions, 〈woth〉 is a preposition misspelling; the correct form is 『with』, used to indicate an accompanying relationship, so the spelling is corrected to conform to grammatical rules.
error_sentence: In others opinion ,going online frequenly has many disadvantages.
correct_sentence: In others' opinion, going online frequently has many disadvantages.
correction: '
error_type: Noun Possessive Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Noun Possessive Error: In 〈others opinion〉, when the plural noun 〈others〉 modifies 〈opinion〉, the possessive form is required. According to English grammar rules, for plural nouns ending in -s, an apostrophe 『'』 is added directly, so it is changed to 『others' opinion』 to correctly express possession.
error_sentence: In others opinion ,going online frequenly has many disadvantages.
correct_sentence: In others' opinion, going online frequently has many disadvantages.
error: frequenly
correction: frequently
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Spelling Error: 〈frequenly〉 is an adverb misspelling; the correct form is 『frequently』 (double 'e' followed by -ly), expressing the frequency of 'often', so the spelling is corrected to ensure word accuracy.
error_sentence: The reasons are follow.
correct_sentence: The reasons are as follows.
error: follow
correction: as follows
error_type: Noun Number Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Preposition Error: The structure of the fixed phrase 〈The reasons are follow.〉 is incorrect; according to idiomatic English expression, the phrase 『as follows』 should be used instead of the standalone verb 〈follow〉. Therefore, the preposition 『as』 is added, changing it to 『The reasons are as follows.』 to conform to standard usage; ② Noun Number Error: The original sentence's use of the singular verb 〈follow〉 cannot correctly express an enumerative relationship; according to English grammar rules, the fixed plural phrase 『as follows』 must be used here to conform to idiomatic expression.
error_sentence: Some students even be hooked on computer games and chatting.
correct_sentence: Some students even get hooked on computer games and chatting.
error: be
correction: get
error_type: Verb Choice Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Choice Error: In the passive voice, 〈be hooked〉 emphasizes a continuous state, while 〈get hooked〉 emphasizes a dynamic process. According to the context (describing 'gradually becoming addicted'), 『get』 should be chosen to highlight the change in action, so it is modified to 『get hooked』.
error_sentence: It makes difference to their study and dailylife.

correct_sentence: It makes a difference to their study and daily life.

correction: a
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: The fixed phrase 〈make difference〉 lacks the necessary indefinite article; according to English collocation rules, 『a』 should be added to form 『make a difference』 (meaning 'to have an effect'), to ensure grammatical correctness.
error_sentence: It makes difference to their study and dailylife.

correct_sentence: It makes a difference to their study and daily life.

error: dailylife
correction: daily life
error_type: Space Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Space Error: The compound noun 〈dailylife〉 is written incorrectly; the correct form should be written separately as 『daily life』 (with a space), to conform to the spelling rules for English compound nouns.
error_sentence: In my view,the Internet has both positive and negative influence on us.
correct_sentence: In my view, the Internet has both positive and negative influences on us.
error: influence
correction: influences
error_type: Noun Number Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Noun Number Error: When 〈both positive and negative〉 modifies a noun, because it involves two opposing attributes, the modified noun needs to be in plural form. Therefore, the singular 〈influence〉 is changed to 『influences』 to ensure logical consistency with the plural modifier.
error_sentence: What we should do is using the Internet in a right way and let ie be our teacher and friend.
correct_sentence: What we should do is using the Internet in a right way and let it be our teacher and friend.
error: ie
correction: it
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Spelling Error: 〈ti〉 is a pronoun misspelling; according to the context, the referent is 〈the Internet〉, so the correct pronoun form 『it』 should be used to ensure clear reference and conform to semantic and standard spelling rules.