Writing prompt: My Birthday

Student essay:
Hello everyone,my name is Alice,that is my favorite gift.He is a dog and his name is perter,today he is 2 years old,in my 12years old My parents bought he,I am 14years old.He is very beautiful and smart,he can play the ball and play dance.Everybody to say:look!The dog is very smart.But sometimes he is trouble,he gets the sofa and he eats food every morning.However,I think I can always play with he.He is my good friends!

Corrected essay:
Hello everyone, my name is Alice. That is my favorite gift. He is a dog and his name is Peter. Today he is 2 years old. When I was 12 years old, my parents bought him for me. Now, I am 14 years old. He is very beautiful and smart. He can play with the ball and dance. Everybody says, "Look! The dog is very smart." But sometimes he causes trouble. He gets on the sofa and he eats food every morning. However, I think I can always play with him. He is my good friend!

Error analysis:
error_sentence: Hello everyone,my name is Alice,that is my favorite gift.
correct_sentence: Hello everyone, my name is Alice. That is my favorite gift.
error: ,that
correction: . That
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English grammar rules, two independent clauses should be separated by a period to avoid a run-on sentence; in the original sentence, 〈my name is Alice〉 and 〈that is my favorite gift〉 are two main clauses, so 〈,that〉 is changed to 『. That』 to conform to grammar.
error_sentence: He is a dog and his name is perter,today he is 2 years old,in my 12years old My parents bought he,I am 14years old.
correct_sentence: He is a dog and his name is Peter. Today he is 2 years old.
error: perter,today
correction: Peter. Today
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Spelling Error: According to the sentence meaning, it is intended to express a name, thus 〈perter〉 is a misspelling of 『Peter』, and needs to be changed to 『Peter』 to make the sentence coherent; ② Punctuation Error: According to English grammar rules, two independent clauses should be separated by a period to avoid a run-on sentence; in the original sentence, 〈He is a dog and his name is perter〉 and 〈today he is 2 years old〉 are two main clauses, so 〈perter,today〉 is changed to 『Peter. Today』 to conform to grammar.
error_sentence: He is a dog and his name is perter,today he is 2 years old,in my 12years old My parents bought he,I am 14years old.
correct_sentence: Today he is 2 years old. When I was 12 years old, my parents bought him for me.
error: ,in my 12years old My
correction: . When I was 12 years old, my
error_type: Sentence Structure Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Punctuation Error: According to English grammar rules, two independent clauses should be separated by a period to avoid a run-on sentence; in the original sentence, 〈he is 2 years old〉 and 〈in my 12years old〉 are two main clauses, so 〈,〉 is changed to 『.』 to conform to grammar; ② Sentence Structure Error: According to the context, it is intended to express "when I was 12 years old"; the original sentence structure is confusing and lacks a subordinating conjunction for the adverbial clause of time. Add 『When』 and change 〈,in my 12years old My〉 to 『. When I was 12 years old, my』 to complete the structure of the adverbial clause of time.
error_sentence: He is a dog and his name is perter,today he is 2 years old,in my 12years old My parents bought he,I am 14years old.
correct_sentence: When I was 12 years old, my parents bought him for me. Now, I am 14 years old.
error: he
correction: him for me. Now
error_type: Pronoun Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Pronoun Error: According to English grammar rules, the verb 〈bought〉 should be followed by an object pronoun, so the subject pronoun 〈he〉 is changed to the object pronoun 『him』 to conform to grammar; ② Determiner Error: According to the context, the meaning here is "bought for me", so 『for me』 needs to be added to indicate the object of the action; ③ Punctuation Error: According to English grammar rules, two independent clauses should be separated by a period to avoid a run-on sentence; in the original sentence, 〈My parents bought he〉 and 〈I am 14years old〉 are two main clauses, so 〈,〉 is changed to 『. Now』 to conform to grammar and meaning.
error_sentence: He is a dog and his name is perter,today he is 2 years old,in my 12years old My parents bought he,I am 14years old.
correct_sentence: Now, I am 14 years old.
error: 14years
correction: 14 years
error_type: Space Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Space Error: According to English writing conventions, a space is needed between words; the original sentence 〈14years〉 lacks the necessary space, so the conjoined 〈14years〉 is changed to 『14 years』 to conform to English writing conventions.
error_sentence: He is very beautiful and smart,he can play the ball and play dance.
correct_sentence: He is very beautiful and smart. He can play with the ball and dance.
error: ,he
correction: . He
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English grammar rules, two independent clauses should be separated by a period to avoid a run-on sentence; in the original sentence, 〈He is very beautiful〉 and 〈he can play the ball〉 are two main clauses, so 〈,he〉 is changed to 『. He』 to conform to grammar.
error_sentence: He is very beautiful and smart,he can play the ball and play dance.
correct_sentence: He can play with the ball and dance.
correction: with
error_type: Preposition Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Preposition Error: According to English expression habits, the verb phrase 〈play〉 needs to be followed by the preposition 『with』 to indicate the object of interaction, so 『with』 is added to make 『play with the ball』 semantically complete and conform to expression habits.
error_sentence: He is very beautiful and smart,he can play the ball and play dance.
correct_sentence: He can play with the ball and dance.
error: play
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: Word Redundancy Error: According to English expression habits, a word that appears twice in repetition only needs to be kept once; in the original sentence, 〈play〉 appears twice, so deleting the second redundant 〈play〉 can make the sentence more concise without affecting its meaning.
error_sentence: Everybody to say:look!The dog is very smart.
correct_sentence: Everybody says, "Look! The dog is very smart."
error: to say:look!The
correction: says, "Look! The
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Verb Tense Error: According to the context, general facts require the simple present tense, so 〈to say〉 needs to be changed to 『says』 to conform to the context; ② Punctuation Error: According to English writing conventions, direct speech needs to be marked with quotation marks, so 〈say:look!〉 needs to be changed to 『says, "Look!』 to conform to writing conventions; ③ Space Error: According to English writing conventions, there needs to be a space between punctuation and words; the original sentence 〈look!The〉 lacks a space, so 〈look!The〉 needs to be changed to 『Look! The』 to conform to writing conventions.
error_sentence: Everybody to say:look!The dog is very smart. But sometimes he is trouble,he gets the sofa and he eats food every morning.
correct_sentence: The dog is very smart."
correction: "
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English writing conventions, a closing quotation mark 『"』 needs to be added at the end of direct speech to ensure proper punctuation, so 〈very smart.〉 needs to be changed to 『very smart."』 to conform to writing conventions.
error_sentence: But sometimes he is trouble,he gets the sofa and he eats food every morning.
correct_sentence: But sometimes he causes trouble. He gets on the sofa and he eats food every morning.
error: is trouble,he gets
correction: causes trouble. He gets on
error_type: Verb Choice Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Verb Choice Error: According to the context, the sentence here means "causes"; in the original sentence, 〈is〉 means "is", which does not fit the meaning, so 〈is〉 needs to be changed to 『causes』 to conform to the context; ② Punctuation Error: According to English grammar rules, two independent clauses should be separated by a period to avoid a run-on sentence; in the original sentence, 〈But sometimes he is trouble〉 and 〈he gets the sofa〉 are two main clauses, so 〈,he〉 is changed to 『. He』 to conform to grammar; ③ Preposition Error: According to the context, the meaning here is "on the sofa", so the preposition 『on』 needs to be added after 〈gets〉 to modify the object 〈the sofa〉 to conform to semantics.
error_sentence: However,I think I can always play with he.
correct_sentence: However, I think I can always play with him.
error: he
correction: him
error_type: Pronoun Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Pronoun Error: According to English grammar rules, the preposition 〈with〉 should be followed by an object pronoun, so the subject pronoun 〈he〉 is changed to 『him』 to conform to grammar.
error_sentence: He is my good friends!
correct_sentence: He is my good friend!
error: friends
correction: friend
error_type: Noun Number Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Noun Number Error: According to the context, the subject 〈He〉 is singular, so the plural noun 〈friends〉 needs to be changed to the singular 『friend』 for consistency with the context.