Writing prompt: To Save Energy Started from Me

Student essay:
Good morning, everyone: My topic today is how to live a low-carbon life. As far as we know, carbon emissions could cause a lot of problems, such as global warming and climate changing irregular. What impressed me most is that Maldives will be submerged.
My thought is that we ought to lead a low-carbon life. In other words, why not change our traditional lifestyle to enjoy the low-carbon life? Actually, we could save water which can reuse. We can also turn off the electrical equipment that is not necessary. On the other hand, we should use the public transport. Why don't we go to school by bus or subway? It's cheap and fast! It's true that we could save energy and fuel to protect our homeland. Ultimately, improving our awareness is the most significant thing we should do. Doing in every tiny thing is enough.
It is obvious that living a low-carbon life is an obligation of each person in the world. Only if we do what we should do and we can make a difference in a low-carbon life.

Corrected essay:
Good morning, everyone: My topic today is how to live a low-carbon life. As far as we know, carbon emissions could cause a lot of problems, such as global warming and irregular climate change. What impresses me most is that the Maldives will be submerged.
My thought is that we ought to lead a low-carbon life. In other words, why not change our traditional lifestyle to enjoy a low-carbon life? Actually, we could save water which can be reused. We can also turn off the electrical equipment that is not necessary. On the other hand, we should use public transport. Why don't we go to school by bus or subway? It's cheap and fast! It's true that we could save energy and fuel to protect our homeland. Ultimately, improving our awareness is the most significant thing we should do. Doing every tiny thing is enough.
It is obvious that living a low-carbon life is an obligation of each person in the world. Only if we do what we should do can we make a difference in a low-carbon life.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: As far as we know, carbon emissions could cause a lot of problems, such as global warming and climate changing irregular.
correct_sentence: As far as we know, carbon emissions could cause a lot of problems, such as global warming and irregular climate change.
error: climate changing irregular
correction: irregular climate change
error_type: Word Order Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: ① Word Order Error: According to English grammar rules, the adjective 〈irregular〉 should precede the noun phrase 〈climate change〉 to modify 〈change〉, the original word order is incorrect; ② PoS Confusion Error: 〈climate changing〉 is grammatically incorrect; “climate change” is a fixed noun phrase meaning “climate change”, the word 〈changing〉 is used with an incorrect part of speech in the original sentence and should be changed to 『climate change』.
error_sentence: What impressed me most is that Maldives will be submerged.

correct_sentence: What impresses me most is that the Maldives will be submerged.

error: impressed
correction: impresses
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: According to English tense rules, the main clause describes a current, ongoing feeling and requires the simple present tense. In the original sentence, the predicate verb 〈impressed〉 uses the past tense, which is inconsistent with the context; it should be changed to the present tense 『impresses』 to maintain tense consistency.
error_sentence: What impressed me most is that Maldives will be submerged.

correct_sentence: What impresses me most is that the Maldives will be submerged.

correction: the
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: According to English grammar rules, when the proper noun 〈Maldives〉 is used as the name of an archipelago nation, the definite article 〈the〉 must be added to form the fixed expression 『the Maldives』; the original sentence lacks the definite article, which does not conform to grammatical rules.
error_sentence: In other words, why not change our traditional lifestyle to enjoy the low-carbon life?
correct_sentence: In other words, why not change our traditional lifestyle to enjoy a low-carbon life?
error: the
correction: a
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: According to English grammar rules, 〈low-carbon life〉 is mentioned here for the first time as a general concept and requires the indefinite article 『a』 to indicate general reference. The original sentence uses 〈the〉, a definite article indicating specific reference, which is inconsistent with the context; therefore, 〈the〉 is changed to 『a』 to match the meaning.
error_sentence: Actually, we could save water which can reuse.
correct_sentence: Actually, we could save water which can be reused.
error: reuse
correction: be reused
error_type: Verb Voice Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Voice Error: According to English grammar rules, when the subject of a sentence has a passive relationship with the verb, the passive voice must be used. In the original sentence, 〈water〉 and 〈reuse〉 have a passive relationship (water is reused), but the original sentence does not use the passive voice; therefore, 〈reuse〉 is changed to 『be reused』 to clarify the passive meaning and conform to English grammar standards.
error_sentence: On the other hand, we should use the public transport.
correct_sentence: On the other hand, we should use public transport.
error: the
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: According to English grammar rules, 〈public transport〉 is an uncountable noun and represents a general concept; the definite article 〈the〉 is used for specific reference and is redundant here. 〈the〉 needs to be deleted to conform to grammatical rules and make the sentence expression more accurate.
error_sentence: Doing in every tiny thing is enough.

correct_sentence: Doing every tiny thing is enough.

error: in
error_type: Preposition Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Preposition Error: According to English grammar rules, the gerund phrase 〈Doing〉 directly takes the object 〈every tiny thing〉 without needing an extra preposition. The preposition 〈in〉 in the original sentence is redundant and should be deleted to make the sentence structure concise and grammatically correct.
error_sentence: Only if we do what we should do and we can make a difference in a low-carbon life.
correct_sentence: Only if we do what we should do can we make a difference in a low-carbon life.
error: and we can
correction: can we
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: ① Word Redundancy Error: According to English grammar rules, when 〈Only if〉 introduces a conditional adverbial clause, the main clause does not require 〈and〉 for connection; 〈and〉 in the original sentence is illogical, is a Conjunction Error, and should be deleted; ② Word Order Error: According to English grammar rules, when 〈Only if〉 introduces a conditional adverbial clause, the main clause requires an inverted structure; the word order in 〈and we can〉 in the original sentence is incorrect and should be changed to the inverted form① Conjunction Error: According to English grammar rules, when 〈Only if〉 introduces a conditional adverbial clause, the main clause does not require 〈and〉 for connection; 〈and〉 in the original sentence is illogical and should be deleted; ② Word Order Error: According to English grammar rules, when 〈Only if〉 introduces a conditional adverbial clause, the main clause requires an inverted structure; the word order in 〈and we can〉 in the original sentence is incorrect and should be changed to the inverted form 『can we』 to conform to grammatical rules.