Writing prompt: Written Expression Practice 1

Student essay:
Dear Chris,
I'm L, monitor of Class One, Grade Eleven. I'm pleased to hear that you are coming to our school as an exchange student, and I, on behalf of all my classmates, give a sincere and warm welcome to you. In order to help you adapt to the new environment. I'll give you a brief introduction of our city and class.
The weather here in winter can be a little cold, so it is necessary for you to bring some thick clothes. What's more, there are a variety of traditional Chinese food which will surely attract you a lot. Besides, our classmates are all friendly and enthusiastic. So whenever you get into trouble, they are ready to do you a favor. I'm firmly convinced that you will get on well with us.
In addition to. I hope you can share some customs with us and introduce the history of America for us, which will not only avoid misunderstanding. but also broaden our horizons. Above all, I'm looking forward to your coming.
Yours
L

Corrected essay:
Dear Chris,
I'm L, monitor of Class One, Grade Eleven. I'm pleased to hear that you are coming to our school as an exchange student, and I, on behalf of all my classmates, give a sincere and warm welcome to you. In order to help you adapt to the new environment, I'll give you a brief introduction to our city and class.
The weather here in winter can be a little cold, so it is necessary for you to bring some thick clothes. What's more, there is a variety of traditional Chinese food, which will surely attract you a lot. Besides, our classmates are all friendly and enthusiastic, so whenever you get into trouble, they are ready to do you a favor. I'm firmly convinced that you will get on well with us.
In addition, I hope you can share some customs with us and introduce the history of America to us, which will not only avoid misunderstanding but also broaden our horizons. Above all, I'm looking forward to your coming.
Yours,
L

Error analysis:
error_sentence: In order to help you adapt to the new environment.
correct_sentence: In order to help you adapt to the new environment, I'll give you a brief introduction to our city and class.

error: .
correction: ,
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to the context, this is an adverbial clause; the original sentence used a period to separate the adverbial clause, causing a sentence structure break, therefore 〈environment.〉 needs to be changed to 『environment,』 to connect the two related clauses and make the sentence structure complete.
error_sentence: I'll give you a brief introduction of our city and class.

correct_sentence: In order to help you adapt to the new environment, I'll give you a brief introduction to our city and class.

error: of
correction: to
error_type: Preposition Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Preposition Error: According to English expression conventions, the preposition 『to』 is used to indicate the object of an introduction, therefore 〈introduction of〉 needs to be changed to 『introduction to』 to conform to usage.
error_sentence: What's more, there are a variety of traditional Chinese food which will surely attract you a lot.
correct_sentence: What's more, there is a variety of traditional Chinese food, which will surely attract you a lot.
error: are
correction: is
error_type: Subject-Verb Agreement Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Subject-Verb Agreement Error: According to English grammar rules, the original sentence has a subject-verb agreement error; when the subject 〈a variety of〉 expresses a collective concept, the verb should be singular, but the original verb 〈are〉 is plural, therefore the verb 〈are〉 needs to be changed to the singular form 『is』 to maintain subject-verb agreement.
error_sentence: What's more, there are a variety of traditional Chinese food which will surely attract you a lot.
correct_sentence: What's more, there is a variety of traditional Chinese food, which will surely attract you a lot.
correction: ,
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English grammar rules, a non-restrictive relative clause needs to be set off by a comma, therefore a comma 『,』 needs to be added after 〈food〉 to correctly separate the main clause and the subordinate clause, in accordance with grammar.
error_sentence: Besides, our classmates are all friendly and enthusiastic. So whenever you get into trouble, they are ready to do you a favor.
correct_sentence: Besides, our classmates are all friendly and enthusiastic, so whenever you get into trouble, they are ready to do you a favor.
error: . So
correction: , so
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English grammar rules, in a compound sentence, the conjunction 〈So〉 should be preceded by a comma to separate the clauses, therefore 〈. So〉 needs to be changed to 『, so』 to comply with grammatical rules.
error_sentence: In addition to.
correct_sentence: In addition, I hope you can share some customs with us and introduce the history of America to us, which will not only avoid misunderstanding but also broaden our horizons.
error: to.
correction: ,
error_type: Preposition Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Preposition Error: According to the context, the meaning here is 'in addition'; the preposition in the original phrase 〈In addition to〉 is redundant, so it should be changed to 『In addition,』 as a transitional phrase to fit the context; ② Punctuation Error: According to English writing conventions, when 〈In addition〉 starts a new sentence, it needs to be followed by a comma to separate it from the rest of the sentence, therefore 〈In addition〉 is changed to 『In addition,』 to conform to writing conventions.
error_sentence: I hope you can share some customs with us and introduce the history of America for us, which will not only avoid misunderstanding.
correct_sentence: In addition, I hope you can share some customs with us and introduce the history of America to us, which will not only avoid misunderstanding but also broaden our horizons.
error: for
correction: to
error_type: Preposition Error
error_description: Preposition Error: According to English expression conventions, 〈for〉 does not fit the semantic rules when expressing the object of an action; 『to』 should be used to indicate introducing information to someone, therefore 〈for us〉 is changed to 『to us』 to fit the expression.
error_sentence: I hope you can share some customs with us and introduce the history of America for us, which will not only avoid misunderstanding.
correct_sentence: In addition, I hope you can share some customs with us and introduce the history of America to us, which will not only avoid misunderstanding but also broaden our horizons.
error: .
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English expression conventions, the period 〈.〉 at the end of the phrase is not suitable for connecting to subsequent content, therefore 〈misunderstanding.〉 needs to be changed to 『misunderstanding』 to conform to conventions.
error_sentence: Yours
L
correct_sentence: Yours,
L
correction: ,
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English writing conventions, the closing of an English letter requires a comma, therefore a comma 『,』 needs to be added after 〈Yours〉 to conform to letter writing conventions.