Writing prompt: The Report of Students' Pocket Money

Student essay:
Nowadays, students have more and more pocket money. However, this also led to the phenomenon of unreasonable spending more and more serious.
From the survey, we can see that about 45 percent of junior students and 30 percent of senior students spend most of their pocket money on books. About 30 percent of junior students and 50 percent of senior students prefer to spend money on snacks. What's more, the high school students use considerably money on computer games. At the same time, there is some pocket money used in clothes and sports goods.
As far as I' m concerned, eating a lot of snacks not only waste money but also put our weight which will do harm to our health. Meanwhile, if we play games without limiting, we will lose much precious time and be addicted to it which affects our study. We need to know the hardships of making money so that we can use our pocket money reasonably.

Corrected essay:
Nowadays, students have more and more pocket money. However, this also leads to the phenomenon of unreasonable spending, which is becoming more and more serious.
From the survey, we can see that about 45 percent of junior students and 30 percent of senior students spend most of their pocket money on books. About 30 percent of junior students and 50 percent of senior students prefer to spend money on snacks. What's more, high school students spend considerable money on computer games. At the same time, some pocket money is used on clothes and sports goods.
As far as I'm concerned, eating a lot of snacks not only wastes money but also increases our weight, which will do harm to our health. Meanwhile, if we play games without limits, we will lose much precious time and be addicted to it, which affects our study. We need to know the hardships of making money so that we can use our pocket money reasonably.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: However, this also led to the phenomenon of unreasonable spending more and more serious.

correct_sentence: However, this also leads to the phenomenon of unreasonable spending, which is becoming more and more serious.

error: led
correction: leads
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: Based on contextual semantic analysis, the main clause describes a current general phenomenon, while the original sentence used the past tense 〈led〉; therefore, the verb should be changed to the present tense 『leads』 to maintain tense consistency, conforming to the rules for using the simple present tense.
error_sentence: However, this also led to the phenomenon of unreasonable spending more and more serious.

correct_sentence: However, this also leads to the phenomenon of unreasonable spending, which is becoming more and more serious.

correction: , which is becoming
error_type: Sentence Structure Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Sentence Structure Error: The original sentence lacks a relative pronoun to introduce a non-restrictive relative clause, leading to an unclear modification relationship. According to English grammar rules, add the relative pronoun 『which』 and the progressive tense structure 『is becoming』 to form the complete clause 『, which is becoming』, thereby correctly modifying 〈unreasonable spending〉 and reflecting its dynamic development trend.
error_sentence: What's more, the high school students use considerably money on computer games.
correct_sentence: What's more, high school students spend considerable money on computer games.
error: the
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: According to the rules for using definite articles, when referring to a general group (such as high school students), English grammar dictates that the definite article 〈the〉 should not be used. Therefore, delete 『the』 to conform to generic usage, making the expression more aligned with English conventions.
error_sentence: What's more, the high school students use considerably money on computer games.
correct_sentence: What's more, high school students spend considerable money on computer games.
error: use considerably
correction: spend considerable
error_type: PoS Confusion Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Verb Choice Error: According to English expression norms, the original sentence uses 〈use〉 to express spending money, but this verb usually refers to the use of tools or methods, not consumption behavior. Based on the meaning, it should be changed to 『spend considerable』 to accurately convey the meaning of “spending a large amount of money.”; ② PoS Confusion Error: The original sentence uses the adverb 〈considerably〉 to modify the noun 〈money〉, but adverbs cannot directly modify nouns. According to English grammar rules, it should be changed to the adjective 『considerable』 to correctly modify the noun, forming the appropriate collocation 『considerable money』.
error_sentence: At the same time, there is some pocket money used in clothes and sports goods.

correct_sentence: At the same time, some pocket money is used on clothes and sports goods.

error: there is
error_type: Sentence Structure Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Sentence Structure Error: According to English expression norms, the original sentence uses the existential construction 〈there is〉, which obscures the subject and does not conform to the English habit of emphasizing the subject. Optimize the structure by deleting 〈there is〉 and clarifying the subject as 〈some pocket money〉 to make the sentence more concise and clear.
error_sentence: At the same time, there is some pocket money used in clothes and sports goods.

correct_sentence: At the same time, some pocket money is used on clothes and sports goods.

error: used in
correction: is used on
error_type: Verb Voice Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Verb Voice Error: The original sentence lacks an auxiliary verb to form the passive voice. According to passive voice rules, add 『is』 to complete the structure, forming 『some pocket money is used on』, which conforms to the passive expression of “money being spent.”; ② Preposition Error: According to English expression norms, when indicating “spending money on a certain purpose,” the English fixed collocation should be 『spend/used on』 rather than 〈in〉. Therefore, correct 〈used in〉 to 『used on』 to ensure accurate preposition usage.
error_sentence: As far as I' m concerned, eating a lot of snacks not only waste money but also put our weight which will do harm to our health.
correct_sentence: As far as I'm concerned, eating a lot of snacks not only wastes money but also increases our weight, which will do harm to our health.
error: ' m
correction: 'm
error_type: Space Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Space Error: According to English writing conventions, there should not be a space between the apostrophe 〈’〉 and the subsequent letter 〈m〉 in the contraction 〈I' m〉; therefore, it is corrected to 『I'm』 to meet standard formatting requirements.
error_sentence: As far as I' m concerned, eating a lot of snacks not only waste money but also put our weight which will do harm to our health.
correct_sentence: As far as I'm concerned, eating a lot of snacks not only wastes money but also increases our weight, which will do harm to our health.
error: waste
correction: wastes
error_type: Subject-Verb Agreement Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Subject-Verb Agreement Error: The subject 〈eating a lot of snacks〉 is a gerund phrase acting as a singular subject; according to the principle of subject-verb agreement, the predicate verb needs to be in the singular form, so the plural verb 〈waste〉 is changed to the singular form 『wastes』 to ensure grammatical correctness.
error_sentence: As far as I' m concerned, eating a lot of snacks not only waste money but also put our weight which will do harm to our health.
correct_sentence: As far as I'm concerned, eating a lot of snacks not only wastes money but also increases our weight, which will do harm to our health.
error: put
correction: increases
error_type: Verb Choice Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Choice Error: The original sentence uses 〈put our weight〉 to express weight gain, but this collocation does not conform to idiomatic English expressions. Based on the meaning, it should be changed to 『increases our weight』 to accurately describe the causal relationship of “causing weight to increase.”
error_sentence: As far as I' m concerned, eating a lot of snacks not only waste money but also put our weight which will do harm to our health.
correct_sentence: As far as I'm concerned, eating a lot of snacks not only wastes money but also increases our weight, which will do harm to our health.
correction: ,
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: When a non-restrictive relative clause is introduced by 〈which〉, according to English punctuation rules, it needs to be separated from the main clause by a comma. Therefore, add a comma 『, which』 to clarify the sentence structure and avoid ambiguity.
error_sentence: Meanwhile, if we play games without limiting, we will lose much precious time and be addicted to it which affects our study.
correct_sentence: Meanwhile, if we play games without limits, we will lose much precious time and be addicted to it, which affects our study.
error: limiting
correction: limits
error_type: PoS Confusion Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: PoS Confusion Error: The preposition 〈without〉 should be followed by a nominal component, but the original sentence uses the gerund 〈limiting〉, resulting in an improper collocation. According to grammar rules, change it to the noun form 『limits』 to correctly form the fixed phrase 『without limits』, expressing the meaning of “without restriction.”
error_sentence: Meanwhile, if we play games without limiting, we will lose much precious time and be addicted to it which affects our study.
correct_sentence: Meanwhile, if we play games without limits, we will lose much precious time and be addicted to it, which affects our study.
correction: ,
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: When a non-restrictive relative clause is introduced by 〈which〉, according to English punctuation rules, it needs to be separated from the main clause by a comma. Therefore, add a comma 『, which』 to clarify the sentence structure and avoid ambiguity.