Writing prompt: Spring Festival

Student essay:
Dear dad and mum:
I'm Vickey.Now I want to tell you something about my life in Beijing during Spring Festival.First,I often study and communicate with my Chinese friends and I play sports with them,too.Besides,I have went to the historical sites and scenic spots,watched the Peking Opera,tried the tasty food,known about Chinese histories.Third,during the Spring Festival,I ate dumplings with my friends,I'm so happy.
I love my Chinese friends and I love my life in Beijing.Dad,mum,I love you two.
Yours Vickey

Corrected essay:
Dear Dad and Mum,
I'm Vickey. Now I want to tell you something about my life in Beijing during the Spring Festival. First, I often study and communicate with my Chinese friends and I play sports with them, too. Besides, I have gone to the historical sites and scenic spots, watched the Peking Opera, tried the tasty food, and learned about Chinese history. Third, during the Spring Festival, I ate dumplings with my friends. I'm so happy.
I love my Chinese friends and I love my life in Beijing. Dad and Mum, I love you two.
Yours,
Vickey

Error analysis:
error_sentence: Dear dad and mum:
I'm Vickey.
correct_sentence: Dear Dad and Mum,
I'm Vickey.
error: dad and mum:
correction: Dad and Mum,
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: ① Case Error: According to English letter format conventions, familial terms 〈dad〉 and 〈mum〉 at the beginning of a letter should be treated as proper nouns, thus capitalized as 『Dad』 and 『Mum』; ② Punctuation Error: A comma should be used after the salutation in an English letter to indicate a pause, not a colon, therefore 〈dad and mum:〉 is changed to 『Dad and Mum,』 to conform to standard letter format.
error_sentence: Now I want to tell you something about my life in Beijing during Spring Festival.
correct_sentence: Now I want to tell you something about my life in Beijing during the Spring Festival.
correction: the
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: According to determiner usage rules, the festival name 〈Spring Festival〉 is a specific festival and requires the definite article 〈the〉 to indicate specificity, therefore it is modified to 『the Spring Festival』 to comply with grammatical rules.
error_sentence: Besides,I have went to the historical sites and scenic spots,watched the Peking Opera,tried the tasty food,known about Chinese histories.
correct_sentence: Besides, I have gone to the historical sites and scenic spots, watched the Peking Opera, tried the tasty food, and learned about Chinese history.
error: went
correction: gone
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: The past participle form in the present perfect structure 〈have went〉 is incorrect; 『gone』 should be used instead of 〈went〉 to form the correct 『have gone』 structure, in accordance with the present perfect tense (have + past participle) grammatical rule.
error_sentence: Besides,I have went to the historical sites and scenic spots,watched the Peking Opera,tried the tasty food,known about Chinese histories.
correct_sentence: Besides, I have gone to the historical sites and scenic spots, watched the Peking Opera, tried the tasty food, and learned about Chinese history.
error: known
correction: and learned
error_type: Conjunction Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Conjunction Error: According to English expression conventions, when listing parallel actions, the conjunction 『and』 should be added before the last item to complete the sentence structure, conforming to the English convention for parallel clauses; ② Verb Choice Error: According to English expression conventions, 〈known about〉 is semantically ambiguous, usually meaning "to know" rather than "to understand/learn about", therefore it is changed to 『learned about』 to more accurately express the meaning of "learned/came to know".
error_sentence: Besides,I have went to the historical sites and scenic spots,watched the Peking Opera,tried the tasty food,known about Chinese histories.
correct_sentence: Besides, I have gone to the historical sites and scenic spots, watched the Peking Opera, tried the tasty food, and learned about Chinese history.
error: histories
correction: history
error_type: Noun Number Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Noun Number Error: According to English expression conventions, 〈history〉 as an uncountable noun, when referring to the overall concept of "history", does not require a plural form, therefore the plural form 〈histories〉 is changed to the singular form 『history』 to comply with English noun usage.
error_sentence: Third,during the Spring Festival,I ate dumplings with my friends,I'm so happy.

correct_sentence: Third, during the Spring Festival, I ate dumplings with my friends. I'm so happy.

error: ,I'm
correction: . I'm
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: ① Punctuation Error: According to English expression conventions, two independent sentences 〈I ate...〉 and 〈I'm...〉 should be separated by a period, not a comma, therefore 〈,I'm〉 is changed to 『. I'm』 to avoid a comma splice; ② Space Error: According to English writing conventions, a space should be kept after a period before starting the next sentence, therefore 〈,I'm〉 is changed to 『. I'm』 to ensure correct formatting.
error_sentence: Dad,mum,I love you two.

correct_sentence: Dad and Mum, I love you two.

error: ,mum
correction: and Mum
error_type: Conjunction Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Conjunction Error: According to English expression conventions, when addressing 〈Dad〉 and 〈mum〉 in parallel, the conjunction 『and』 should be used to connect them, not just a comma, therefore it is modified to 『Dad and Mum』 to conform to the English convention for parallel structures; ② Case Error: According to English letter format conventions, the familial term 〈mum〉 in a letter should be treated as a proper noun, thus capitalized as 『Mum』.
error_sentence: Yours Vickey
correct_sentence: Yours,
Vickey
correction: ,

error_type: Format Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Format Error: According to English expression conventions, a comma needs to be added after 〈Yours〉 at the end of a letter, and the signature should be written on a new line, therefore it is modified to 『Yours, /n Vickey』 to conform to standard letter format.