Writing prompt: Competition

Student essay:
With the competition becoming fiercer and fiercer ,some people think putting competition into education is necessary but other people don't agree with them .
Nowadays competition and wider ,which covers sporty ,job and education ...Ail of us in the society must be faced with competition.On the one hand competition is good for our development .Because we can learn more from who have the competition with you, be adult after failing over and over again ,and be more confident by overcoming many difficulties ,But one the other hand,failing in the competition may become a hit for someone whose heart isn't strong enough ,or even kill him or her.
To tell the truth,I dislike when people refer to competition.Because maybe one day ,you hare to compete with your best due to a little benefit .

Corrected essay:
With the competition becoming fiercer and fiercer, some people think putting competition into education is necessary but other people don't agree with them.
Nowadays competition is wider, which covers sports, jobs, education... All of us in society must be faced with competitions. On the one hand competition is good for our development, because we can learn more from those who have the competition with you, be adult after failing over and over again, and be more confident by overcoming many difficulties. But on the other hand, failing in competition may become a blow for someone whose heart isn't strong enough, or even kill him or her.
To tell the truth, I dislike it when people refer to competition, because maybe one day, you have to compete with your best friend due to a little benefit.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: Nowadays competition and wider ,which covers sporty ,job and education ...
correct_sentence: Nowadays competition is wider, which covers sports, jobs, education...
error: and
correction: is
error_type: Verb Choice Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Choice Error: The original sentence uses the conjunction 〈and〉 to connect two nouns, causing the sentence to lack a predicate verb. According to the sentence's semantics and grammatical structure, it should be changed to the linking verb 『is』 to form a complete subject-linking verb-complement structure 『competition is wider』, conforming to English basic sentence pattern rules (SVC structure).
error_sentence: Nowadays competition and wider ,which covers sporty ,job and education ...
correct_sentence: Nowadays competition is wider, which covers sports, jobs, education...
error: sporty ,job and
correction: sports, jobs,
error_type: PoS Confusion Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① PoS Confusion Error: According to English expression norms, the adjective 〈sporty〉 (athletic) does not fit the contextual meaning; a noun concept representing the 'sports domain' is needed here. Change to the noun 『sports』 to maintain parallel structure with subsequent nouns; ② Noun Number Error: To maintain parallel structure with the plural noun 『sports』, the singular noun 〈job〉 should be changed to its plural form 『jobs』, forming the parallel relationship 『sports, jobs』, reflecting the meaning of multiple domains; ③ Punctuation Error: According to punctuation usage norms, delete the extra space between the adjective 〈sporty〉 and the comma, ensuring a standard space is kept after the comma, finally changing to the standard format of 『sports, jobs』.
error_sentence: Ail of us in the society must be faced with competition.
correct_sentence: All of us in society must be faced with competitions.
error: Ail
correction: All
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Spelling Error: According to English expression norms, 〈Ail〉 is a misspelling; the correct form is 『All』 (a pronoun capitalized at the beginning of a sentence), expressing the concept of 'everyone'.
error_sentence: Ail of us in the society must be faced with competition.
correct_sentence: All of us in society must be faced with competitions.
error: the
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: According to determiner usage norms, when 〈society〉 refers to a general concept of society, no definite article is needed. Delete the redundant 『the』, making 『in society』 conform to the English rule of using a zero article for abstract nouns.
error_sentence: Ail of us in the society must be faced with competition.
correct_sentence: All of us in society must be faced with competitions.
error: competition
correction: competitions
error_type: Noun Number Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Noun Number Error: According to English expression norms, when 〈competition〉 refers to various competitions in different societal domains, the plural form 『competitions』 should be used to accurately express the meaning of 'multiple competitions'.
error_sentence: On the one hand competition is good for our development .Because
correct_sentence: On the one hand competition is good for our development, because we can learn more from those who have the competition with you, be adult after failing over and over again, and be more confident by overcoming many difficulties.
error: .Because
correction: , because
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: ① Punctuation Error: According to English expression norms, a subordinate clause introduced by the conjunction 〈because〉 cannot stand as an independent sentence; change the incorrect period connection to a comma, forming the standard compound sentence structure 『, because...』; ② Case Error: According to English expression norms, the first letter of a subordinate clause should not be capitalized. Change the incorrect 〈.Because〉 to 『, because』, ensuring the subordinate conjunction is lowercase and connected to the main clause with a comma.
error_sentence: we can learn more from who have the competition with you, be adult after failing over and over again ,and be more confident by overcoming many difficulties ,But one the other hand,failing in the competition may become a hit for someone whose heart isn't strong enough ,or even kill him or her.

correct_sentence: On the one hand competition is good for our development, because we can learn more from those who have the competition with you, be adult after failing over and over again, and be more confident by overcoming many difficulties.
correction: those
error_type: Pronoun Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Pronoun Error: The relative clause 〈who have...〉 lacks an antecedent; according to the context, add 『those』 as the referent, forming the complete structure 『those who have...』, which conforms to the English grammatical rule that relative clauses must have an antecedent.
error_sentence: we can learn more from who have the competition with you, be adult after failing over and over again ,and be more confident by overcoming many difficulties ,But one the other hand,failing in the competition may become a hit for someone whose heart isn't strong enough ,or even kill him or her.

correct_sentence: On the one hand competition is good for our development, because we can learn more from those who have the competition with you, be adult after failing over and over again, and be more confident by overcoming many difficulties. But on the other hand, failing in competition may become a blow for someone whose heart isn't strong enough, or even kill him or her.

error: ,But one
correction: . But on
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Punctuation Error: According to English expression norms, the two independent clauses 〈 overcoming many difficulties〉 and 〈But one...〉 are incorrectly connected with a comma; change to a period for separation, forming the standard structure 『. But on...』, and simultaneously correct the spelling error in the subsequent phrase; ② Spelling Error: Change the word 〈one〉 in the incorrect phrase 〈one the other hand〉 to the standard contrasting connective phrase component 〈on〉 to form the correct structure ·『on the other hand』, expressing 'on the other hand'.
error_sentence: we can learn more from who have the competition with you, be adult after failing over and over again ,and be more confident by overcoming many difficulties ,But one the other hand,failing in the competition may become a hit for someone whose heart isn't strong enough ,or even kill him or her.

correct_sentence: But on the other hand, failing in competition may become a blow for someone whose heart isn't strong enough, or even kill him or her.

error: the
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: According to definite article usage norms, delete the redundant 『the』 before 〈competition〉, allowing 〈competition〉 to maintain a general meaning, conforming to the English usage of a zero article for abstract concept nouns.
error_sentence: we can learn more from who have the competition with you, be adult after failing over and over again ,and be more confident by overcoming many difficulties ,But one the other hand,failing in the competition may become a hit for someone whose heart isn't strong enough ,or even kill him or her.

correct_sentence: But on the other hand, failing in competition may become a blow for someone whose heart isn't strong enough, or even kill him or her.

error: hit
correction: blow
error_type: Verb Choice Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Choice Error: According to English expression norms, 〈hit〉 is too literal, and its tone does not match the context. Change to the idiomatic expression 『a blow for』 to accurately convey the metaphorical meaning of 'a blow to...'.
error_sentence: To tell the truth,I dislike when people refer to competition.
correct_sentence: To tell the truth, I dislike it when people refer to competition, because maybe one day, you have to compete with your best friend due to a little benefit.
correction: it
error_description: Pronoun Error: According to English expression norms, the transitive verb 〈dislike〉 lacks an object; add 『it』 to refer to the preceding situation of 'people referring to competition', forming the complete verb-object structure 『dislike it when...』, making the sentence complete.
error_sentence: To tell the truth,I dislike when people refer to competition. Because maybe one day ,you hare to compete with your best due to a little benefit .
correct_sentence: To tell the truth, I dislike it when people refer to competition, because maybe one day, you have to compete with your best friend due to a little benefit.
error: .Because
correction: , because
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Punctuation Error: According to English expression norms, a subordinate clause introduced by the conjunction 〈because〉 cannot stand as an independent sentence; change the incorrect period connection to a comma, forming the standard compound sentence structure 『, because...』; ② Case Error: According to English expression norms, the first letter of a subordinate clause should not be capitalized. Change the incorrect 〈.Because〉 to 『, because』, ensuring the subordinate conjunction is lowercase and connected to the main clause with a comma.
error_sentence: Because maybe one day ,you hare to compete with your best due to a little benefit .
correct_sentence: To tell the truth, I dislike it when people refer to competition, because maybe one day, you have to compete with your best friend due to a little benefit.
error: hare
correction: have
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Spelling Error: According to English expression norms, change the misspelling 〈hare〉 to the modal verb 『have』, forming the expression of necessity 『have to』, meaning 'must'.
error_sentence: Because maybe one day ,you hare to compete with your best due to a little benefit .
correct_sentence: To tell the truth, I dislike it when people refer to competition, because maybe one day, you have to compete with your best friend due to a little benefit.
correction: friend
error_type: Noun Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Noun Error: According to the contextual meaning, the superlative adjective 〈your best〉 lacks a core noun; add 『friend』 to clarify the meaning of 'your best friend', making the structure 『your best friend』 complete.