Writing prompt: Ten Years Later

Student essay:
I often imagine what my life will be like in the future.
I still will be bachelordom.I will enjoy the freedom.I will filial piety and take care of my nephew,when ten years later he will become a teenager.
I should find a interesting job,but if I can't find it,i will do anything whatever I can.
When I was a child,I want to go around the world,such as Paris London the Dutch town,those is all my love places.Before I not old,I want to walk around.
I think ten years later I will have a good life

Corrected essay:
I often imagine what my life will be like in the future.
I will still be bachelordom. I will enjoy the freedom. I will practice filial piety and take care of my nephew, when ten years later he becomes a teenager.
I should find an interesting job, but if I can't find it, I will do whatever I can.
When I was a child, I wanted to go around the world, such as Paris, London and the Dutch towns. Those are all my favorite places. Before I grow old, I want to walk around.
I think ten years later I will have a good life.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: I still will be bachelordom.
correct_sentence: I will still be bachelordom.
error: still will
correction: will still
error_type: Word Order Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Word Order Error: According to English adverb placement rules, in the simple future tense “will + verb”, the adverb 〈still〉 should be placed after the auxiliary verb 〈will〉, therefore 〈still will〉 needs to be adjusted to 『will still』 to conform to English expression habits.
error_sentence: I will filial piety and take care of my nephew,when ten years later he will become a teenager.

correct_sentence: I will practice filial piety and take care of my nephew, when ten years later he becomes a teenager.

correction: practice
error_type: Verb Choice Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Choice Error: The noun phrase 〈filial piety〉, meaning “孝道” (filial piety), needs to be paired with a verb to form a complete predicate; according to fixed collocation, add 『practice』 to form 『practice filial piety』 to express “尽孝” (to practice filial piety), in order to conform to semantic and grammatical structure.
error_sentence: I will filial piety and take care of my nephew,when ten years later he will become a teenager.

correct_sentence: I will practice filial piety and take care of my nephew, when ten years later he becomes a teenager.

error: will become
correction: becomes
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: According to the contextual meaning, in the adverbial clause of time 〈when ten years later〉, if the main clause is in the future tense, the subordinate clause needs to use the present tense to express the future, therefore 〈will become〉 is changed to 『becomes』.
error_sentence: I should find a interesting job,but if I can't find it,i will do anything whatever I can.

correct_sentence: I should find an interesting job, but if I can't find it, I will do whatever I can.

error: a
correction: an
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: According to English indefinite article usage rules, the word 〈interesting〉 starts with a vowel sound /ɪ/, requiring the use of the indefinite article 『an』 instead of 〈a〉, to comply with the “a/an + adjective + noun” rule.
error_sentence: I should find a interesting job,but if I can't find it,i will do anything whatever I can.

correct_sentence: I should find an interesting job, but if I can't find it, I will do whatever I can.

error: i
correction: I
error_type: Case Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Case Error: The first letter of an English sentence must be capitalized, therefore the pronoun 〈i〉 is changed to 『I』 to conform to basic writing conventions.
error_sentence: I should find a interesting job,but if I can't find it,i will do anything whatever I can.

correct_sentence: I should find an interesting job, but if I can't find it, I will do whatever I can.

error: anything
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Word Redundancy Error: According to English expression norms, 〈anything〉 and 〈whatever I can〉 are semantically redundant; delete 〈anything〉 and retain 『whatever I can』 to make the sentence more concise.
error_sentence: When I was a child,I want to go around the world,such as Paris London the Dutch town,those is all my love places.
correct_sentence: When I was a child, I wanted to go around the world, such as Paris, London and the Dutch towns.
error: want
correction: wanted
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: According to the contextual meaning, the time adverbial 〈When I was a child〉 clearly points to the past, so the predicate verb needs to be in the past tense, therefore 〈want〉 is changed to 『wanted』.
error_sentence: When I was a child,I want to go around the world,such as Paris London the Dutch town,those is all my love places.
correct_sentence: When I was a child, I wanted to go around the world, such as Paris, London and the Dutch towns.
error: London
correction: , London and
error_type: Conjunction Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Punctuation Error: When listing multiple places, commas are needed to separate parallel elements, and 『and』 should be added between the last two items, changing to 『Paris, London, and the Dutch towns』, to conform to English listing format; ② Conjunction Error: In a parallel listing structure, the last two items need to be connected by 『and』, therefore 『and』 is added to form 『Paris, London, and the Dutch towns』, ensuring grammatical completeness.
error_sentence: When I was a child,I want to go around the world,such as Paris London the Dutch town,those is all my love places.
correct_sentence: When I was a child, I wanted to go around the world, such as Paris, London and the Dutch towns. Those are all my favorite places.
error: town,those is
correction: towns. Those are
error_type: Subject-Verb Agreement Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Noun Number Error: According to the sentence's meaning, it needs to express the general concept of multiple towns, so the singular noun 〈town〉 is changed to the plural form 『towns』 to meet the plural reference requirement; ② Punctuation Error: According to English grammar rules, a comma cannot connect two independent main clauses, otherwise it forms a run-on sentence; a period must be used to separate them into two complete sentences; ③ Space Error: According to English written expression norms, a space of one letter should be preserved between a punctuation mark (comma or period) and the word following it, thus a space needs to be added and it should be changed to 『, Those』; ④ Case Error: According to English writing conventions, the first letter of the first word of a sentence must be capitalized, therefore 〈those〉 is changed to 『Those』 to ensure the correctness of the sentence structure; ⑤ Subject-Verb Agreement Error: Since the subject 〈Those〉 is plural, according to the principle of subject-verb agreement, the predicate verb needs to be in the plural form 『are』 instead of the singular form 〈is〉.
error_sentence: When I was a child,I want to go around the world,such as Paris London the Dutch town,those is all my love places.
correct_sentence: Those are all my favorite places.
error: love
correction: favorite
error_type: Adjective Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Adjective Error: According to the meaning of the sentence, an adjective is needed here to modify the noun, but 〈love〉 is a verb and does not meet grammatical requirements; it should be changed to the adjective 『favorite』 to correctly express the meaning of “most liked”.
error_sentence: Before I not old,I want to walk around.

correct_sentence: Before I grow old, I want to walk around.

error: not
correction: grow
error_type: Verb Choice Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Choice Error: 〈not old〉 does not conform to idiomatic English expression; according to the sentence meaning, the verb phrase 『grow old』, expressing “to become old”, should be used to accurately convey the semantics of aging.
error_sentence: I think ten years later I will have a good life
correct_sentence: I think ten years later I will have a good life.
correction: .
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English punctuation rules, a complete sentence must end with a period; therefore, a period should be added at the end of the sentence, making it 『I think ten years later I will have a good life.』, to ensure the completeness of the sentence structure.