Writing prompt: School Safe

Student essay:
I think it is important for us to keep safe at school. Because there are many people at school, and how to keep person safe?
First we shouldn't fight with other people and we should get on well with others.
Second we should pay attention to other people, because sometimes you keep careful but someone doesn't notice you, that hurt you. Next we can't run in classroom or floor but we can run in the playground. Then we should be careful when we play basketball with other people in PE. Finally when we hurt, don't be worried about that and keep composure that can help you.
I hope these suggestions can help you.

Corrected essay:
I think it is important for us to keep safe at school because there are many people at school. And how can we keep people safe? First, we shouldn't fight with other people and we should get on well with others.
Second, we should pay attention to other people, because sometimes you are careful but someone else doesn't notice you, which could hurt you. Next, we can't run in the classroom or on the floor but we can run in the playground. Then we should be careful when we play basketball with other people in PE. Finally when we get hurt, don't be worried about that and stay composed. That can help you.
I hope these suggestions can help you.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: I think it is important for us to keep safe at school. Because there are many people at school, and how to keep person safe?
First we shouldn't fight with other people and we should get on well with others.

correct_sentence: I think it is important for us to keep safe at school because there are many people at school.
error: . Because
correction: because
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English expression habits, the clause led by 〈Because〉 cannot stand as an independent sentence and needs to be merged with the preceding sentence by deleting the period, i.e., changing 〈. Because〉 to 『because』.
error_sentence: Because there are many people at school, and how to keep person safe?
First we shouldn't fight with other people and we should get on well with others.

correct_sentence: I think it is important for us to keep safe at school because there are many people at school. And how can we keep people safe?
error: , and how to keep person
correction: . And how can we keep people
error_type: Sentence Structure Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Punctuation Error: The interrogative phrase 〈how to keep person safe〉 needs to be an independent sentence, so the comma should be changed to a period; ② Sentence Structure Error: The original phrase 〈and how to keep person〉 lacks a subject and an auxiliary verb, not conforming to English sentence structure, and the meaning is incomplete; it needs to be changed to 『how can we keep people』 to form a complete sentence.
error_sentence: Because there are many people at school, and how to keep person safe?
First we shouldn't fight with other people and we should get on well with others.

correct_sentence: First, we shouldn't fight with other people and we should get on well with others.

error: 
First
correction: First,
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English writing conventions, the sequential adverb 〈First〉 needs to be followed by a comma to separate it from the main clause; change 〈First〉 to 『First,』 to conform to English writing standards.
error_sentence: Second we should pay attention to other people, because sometimes you keep careful but someone doesn't notice you, that hurt you.
correct_sentence: Second, we should pay attention to other people, because sometimes you are careful but someone else doesn't notice you, which could hurt you.
correction: ,
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English writing conventions, the sequential adverb 〈Second〉 needs to be followed by a comma to separate it from the main clause; change 〈Second〉 to 『Second,』 to conform to English writing standards.
error_sentence: Second we should pay attention to other people, because sometimes you keep careful but someone doesn't notice you, that hurt you.
correct_sentence: Second, we should pay attention to other people, because sometimes you are careful but someone else doesn't notice you, which could hurt you.
error: keep
correction: are
error_type: Verb Choice Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Choice Error: Judging from the context, the intention here is to express 'being careful'; using 〈keep〉 as a linking verb does not fit the context and should be changed to 『are』 to pair with 〈careful〉, indicating a state rather than an action.
error_sentence: Second we should pay attention to other people, because sometimes you keep careful but someone doesn't notice you, that hurt you.
correct_sentence: Second, we should pay attention to other people, because sometimes you are careful but someone else doesn't notice you, which could hurt you.
correction: else
error_type: Pronoun Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Pronoun Error: Judging from the context, the intention here is to express 'other people'; 『else』 needs to be added to form the structure 『someone else』, enhancing the completeness and logicality of the sentence's meaning.
error_sentence: Second we should pay attention to other people, because sometimes you keep careful but someone doesn't notice you, that hurt you.
correct_sentence: Second, we should pay attention to other people, because sometimes you are careful but someone else doesn't notice you, which could hurt you.
error: that
correction: which could
error_type: Relative Word Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Relative Word Error: According to English expression habits, using 〈that〉 as a relative word is not suitable for this context; it should be changed to 『which could』 to introduce a non-restrictive relative clause and express possibility.
error_sentence: Next we can't run in classroom or floor but we can run in the playground.
correct_sentence: Next, we can't run in the classroom or on the floor but we can run in the playground.
correction: ,
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English writing conventions, the sequential adverb 〈Next〉 needs to be followed by a comma to separate it from the main clause; change 〈Next〉 to 『Next,』 to conform to English writing standards.
error_sentence: Next we can't run in classroom or floor but we can run in the playground.
correct_sentence: Next, we can't run in the classroom or on the floor but we can run in the playground.
correction: the
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: According to English expression habits, the singular countable noun 〈classroom〉 is missing a definite article; 『the』 needs to be added to indicate a specific classroom.
error_sentence: Next we can't run in classroom or floor but we can run in the playground.
correct_sentence: Next, we can't run in the classroom or on the floor but we can run in the playground.
correction: on the
error_type: Preposition Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Preposition Error: According to English expression habits, the preposition 『on』 needs to be added before 〈floor〉 to indicate a specific location; ② Determiner Error: According to English expression habits, the singular countable noun 〈floor〉 is missing a definite article; 『the』 needs to be added to indicate a specific floor.
error_sentence: Finally when we hurt, don't be worried about that and keep composure that can help you.

correct_sentence: Finally when we get hurt, don't be worried about that and stay composed.
correction: get
error_type: Verb Choice Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Choice Error: The original sentence 〈Finally when we hurt〉 is missing a main verb, leading to an incomplete sentence structure; the verb 『get』 should be added before 〈hurt〉 to form the correct passive expression, fitting the contextual requirement.
error_sentence: Finally when we hurt, don't be worried about that and keep composure that can help you.

correct_sentence: Finally when we get hurt, don't be worried about that and stay composed. That can help you.

error: keep composure that
correction: stay composed. That
error_type: Sentence Structure Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Verb Choice Error: Judging from the context, the intention here is to express 'staying calm'; the phrase 〈keep composure〉 in the original sentence is not standard usage and should be changed to the more idiomatic 『stay composed』; ② Sentence Structure Error: The referent of 〈that〉 in the original sentence is unclear; the relative clause needs to be split into an independent sentence, changing it to 『stay composed. That』.