Writing prompt: Application

Student essay:
Dear Mr. Smith
I am L,who want to know about the information that the foreign teachers tend to open several English courses.
First,I have learnt English for so many years and I can do well in the exams. However,when I communicate with foreigners in English . I have difficult hearing clearly what did they say and couldn't speak English frequently. So I want to involve in the lesson about English speaking,which makes me confidence to communicate with foreigners. Last but not least,I hope that I can be allowed to take part in the course,so that I can make more friends with foreigners and make progress in my English speaking .
I'm looking forward to receiving your early reply .
Yours L

Corrected essay:
Dear Mr. Smith,
I am L, who wants to know about the information that the foreign teachers tend to open several English courses.
First, I have learnt English for so many years and I can do well in the exams. However, when I communicate with foreigners in English, I have difficulty hearing clearly what they say and can't speak English frequently. So I want to be involved in the lesson about English speaking, which makes me confident to communicate with foreigners. Last but not least, I hope that I can be allowed to take part in the course, so that I can make more friends with foreigners and make progress in my English speaking.
I'm looking forward to receiving your early reply.
Yours,
L

Error analysis:
error_sentence: Dear Mr. Smith
I am L,who want to know about the information that the foreign teachers tend to open several English courses.

correct_sentence: Dear Mr. Smith,
I am L, who wants to know about the information that the foreign teachers tend to open several English courses.

correction: ,
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English writing conventions, at the beginning of a letter, a 『,』 needs to be added after the salutation 〈Dear Mr. Smith〉 to conform to letter format specifications, marking the separation between the salutation and the body text.
error_sentence: Dear Mr. Smith
I am L,who want to know about the information that the foreign teachers tend to open several English courses.

correct_sentence: Dear Mr. Smith,
I am L, who wants to know about the information that the foreign teachers tend to open several English courses.

error: want
correction: wants
error_type: Subject-Verb Agreement Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Subject-Verb Agreement Error: The subject 〈who〉 refers to the singular first person 〈I〉; based on the principle of subject-verb agreement, the verb 〈want〉 also needs to be changed to the third-person singular form 『wants』.
error_sentence: However,when I communicate with foreigners in English .
correct_sentence: However, when I communicate with foreigners in English, I have difficulty hearing clearly what they say and can't speak English frequently.
error: .
correction: ,
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English writing conventions, 〈However, when...〉 in this sentence introduces an adverbial clause, and a 『,』 should be used to connect it with the main clause 〈I have difficulty...〉 instead of a period.
error_sentence: I have difficult hearing clearly what did they say and couldn't speak English frequently.
correct_sentence: However, when I communicate with foreigners in English, I have difficulty hearing clearly what they say and can't speak English frequently.
error: difficult
correction: difficulty
error_type: PoS Confusion Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: PoS Confusion Error: In the original sentence 〈I have difficult hearing〉, 〈difficult〉 serves as the object of 〈have〉 and should be in noun form; therefore, the adjective form 〈difficult〉 is changed to the noun form 『difficulty』.
error_sentence: I have difficult hearing clearly what did they say and couldn't speak English frequently.
correct_sentence: However, when I communicate with foreigners in English, I have difficulty hearing clearly what they say and can't speak English frequently.
error: did
error_type: Auxiliary Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Auxiliary Error: The sentence 〈what did they say〉 uses an incorrect interrogative structure; the auxiliary verb 〈did〉 is redundant and needs to be removed to make it a correct object clause 『what they say』.
error_sentence: I have difficult hearing clearly what did they say and couldn't speak English frequently.
correct_sentence: However, when I communicate with foreigners in English, I have difficulty hearing clearly what they say and can't speak English frequently.
error: could
correction: ca
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: Judging from the context, this describes a current ability issue and should be in the present tense; therefore, 〈couldn't〉 is changed to the present tense form 『can’t』 to match the narrative time frame.
error_sentence: So I want to involve in the lesson about English speaking,which makes me confidence to communicate with foreigners.
correct_sentence: So I want to be involved in the lesson about English speaking, which makes me confident to communicate with foreigners.
error: involve
correction: be involved
error_type: Verb Voice Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Voice Error: Judging from the context, the intention here is to express the passive meaning of 'I participate in the course'; the active form 〈involve〉 should be changed to the passive form 『be involved』 to correctly express the state of participation.
error_sentence: So I want to involve in the lesson about English speaking,which makes me confidence to communicate with foreigners.
correct_sentence: So I want to be involved in the lesson about English speaking, which makes me confident to communicate with foreigners.
error: confidence
correction: confident
error_type: PoS Confusion Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: PoS Confusion Error: Judging from the context, in the original sentence 〈which makes me confidence to communicate with foreigners.〉, an adjective is needed after 〈makes me〉 as an object complement; therefore, the noun 〈confidence〉 needs to be changed to the adjective 『confident』.
error_sentence: Yours L
correct_sentence: Yours,
L
correction: ,

error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English writing conventions, a 『,』 needs to be added after the closing salutation 〈Yours〉 in an English letter, followed by a new line for the signature.