Writing prompt: My Mother

Student essay:
My mother is 43 years old and she is no different from ordinary people. About my mum I summed up the following points . In terms of personality :She is so kind and honest that is very popular . In work :My mother is very careful , she doesn't allow any mistake, so that some workers are a bit afraid of her, but in private , she is courteous and accessible. Finally :like all mothers, she is responsible and devotes most of her efforts to our family . These years I found that wrinkles on the corner of her eyes. I feel sorry to her, I decide to admitted to the University to repayher. I love my mother very much. Years you don't hurt her

Corrected essay:
My mother is 43 years old and she is no different from ordinary people. About my mum, I summed up the following points. In terms of personality: She is so kind and honest that she is very popular. In work: My mother is very careful; she doesn't allow any mistakes, so some workers are a bit afraid of her. But in private, she is courteous and accessible. Finally, like all mothers, she is responsible and devotes most of her efforts to our family. These years, I have found wrinkles at the corners of her eyes. I feel sorry for her, and I decide to get admitted to the university to repay her. I love my mother very much. Years, please don't hurt her.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: About my mum I summed up the following points .
correct_sentence: About my mum, I summed up the following points.
correction: ,
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English writing conventions, the prepositional phrase 〈About my mum〉 should be separated from the following subject-verb structure by a comma; the original sentence lacks a comma, so 『,』 should be added to make the sentence structure clearer and the rhythm smoother.
error_sentence: In terms of personality :She is so kind and honest that is very popular .
correct_sentence: In terms of personality: She is so kind and honest that she is very popular.
correction: she
error_type: Pronoun Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Pronoun Error: According to English grammar rules, the resultative adverbial clause introduced by 〈that〉 lacks a subject; 『she』 needs to be added as the subject of the clause to maintain a complete syntactic structure. The original sentence 〈that is very popular〉 lacks the pronoun 〈she〉 as the subject, leading to an incomplete sentence structure; adding 『she』 clarifies the subject of the sentence, making the sentence structure correct.
error_sentence: In work :My mother is very careful , she doesn't allow any mistake, so that some workers are a bit afraid of her, but in private , she is courteous and accessible.
correct_sentence: In work: My mother is very careful; she doesn't allow any mistakes, so some workers are a bit afraid of her.
error: ,
correction: ;
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English grammar rules, two independent clauses 〈My mother is very careful〉 and 〈she doesn’t allow any mistake〉 cannot be connected by a comma; it should be changed to 『;』 to avoid a comma splice.
error_sentence: In work :My mother is very careful , she doesn't allow any mistake, so that some workers are a bit afraid of her, but in private , she is courteous and accessible.
correct_sentence: In work: My mother is very careful; she doesn't allow any mistakes, so some workers are a bit afraid of her.
error: mistake
correction: mistakes
error_type: Noun Number Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Noun Number Error: According to English grammar rules, 〈mistake〉 is a countable noun and should be in plural form after 〈any〉; in the original sentence, 〈mistake〉 is singular and should be changed to 『mistakes』 to comply with grammar rules.
error_sentence: In work :My mother is very careful , she doesn't allow any mistake, so that some workers are a bit afraid of her, but in private , she is courteous and accessible.
correct_sentence: In work: My mother is very careful; she doesn't allow any mistakes, so some workers are a bit afraid of her.
error: that
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Word Redundancy Error: Based on the sentence context and expressive logic, 〈that〉 in 〈so that some workers are a bit afraid of her〉 is a redundant component; deleting it will not affect the completeness or meaning of the sentence. Therefore, 〈that〉 should be deleted to make the sentence more concise and fluent, meaning the superfluous 〈that〉 in the original sentence should be removed.
error_sentence: In work :My mother is very careful , she doesn't allow any mistake, so that some workers are a bit afraid of her, but in private , she is courteous and accessible.
correct_sentence: In work: My mother is very careful; she doesn't allow any mistakes, so some workers are a bit afraid of her. But in private, she is courteous and accessible.
error: , but
correction: . But
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: ① Punctuation Error: According to English writing conventions, two independent sentences like 〈She always gets up early〉 and 〈she goes to bed late〉 cannot be connected by a comma but should be separated by a period, so 〈, she〉 should be changed to 『. She』 to make the sentence structure clear and conform to punctuation rules; ② Case Error: According to English writing conventions, the first letter of the word at the beginning of a sentence should be capitalized; in the original sentence, the first letter of the word 〈she〉 at the beginning of the second sentence is not capitalized and should be changed to its capitalized form 『She』 to follow English capitalization rules.
error_sentence: Finally :like all mothers, she is responsible and devotes most of her efforts to our family .
correct_sentence: Finally, like all mothers, she is responsible and devotes most of her efforts to our family.
error: :
correction: ,
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English writing conventions, when 〈Finally〉 is used as a transition word to introduce a sentence, it should be followed by a 『,』, not a colon 『:』; the 〈:〉 in the original sentence does not conform to conventions and needs to be changed to 『,』 to comply with English writing customs.
error_sentence: These years I found that wrinkles on the corner of her eyes.
correct_sentence: These years, I have found wrinkles at the corners of her eyes.
error: I found that wrinkles on the corner
correction: , I have found wrinkles at the corners
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: ① Verb Tense Error: According to English grammar rules, actions that occurred in the past and have an impact on the present require the present perfect tense. The original sentence 〈I found〉 does not use the present perfect tense and should be changed to 『I have found』 to comply with grammar rules; ② Preposition Error: According to English expression customs, 〈on the corner〉 indicates a surface position, while wrinkles at the corner of the eyes are an internal position, so 『at the corners』 should be used; the original sentence 〈on the corner〉 fails to accurately express the position, so 〈on〉 needs to be changed to 『at』; ③ Noun Number Error: According to the sentence meaning, there are multiple corners of the eyes, requiring the plural form; the original sentence 〈corner〉 is singular and should be changed to 『corners』 to accurately express multiple eye corners.
error_sentence: I feel sorry to her, I decide to admitted to the University to repayher.
correct_sentence: I feel sorry for her, and I decide to get admitted to the university to repay her.
error: to
correction: for
error_type: Preposition Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Preposition Error: According to English expression customs, the fixed phrase 〈feel sorry for sb.〉 requires the use of 『for』; the 〈to〉 in the original sentence does not conform to idiomatic expression and 〈to her〉 should be changed to 『for her』 to ensure the correct collocation.
error_sentence: I feel sorry to her, I decide to admitted to the University to repayher.
correct_sentence: I feel sorry for her, and I decide to get admitted to the university to repay her.
correction: and
error_type: Conjunction Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Conjunction Error: According to English grammar rules, 〈I feel sorry for her〉 and 〈I decide to get admitted to the university to repay her〉 are two independent clauses; connecting them directly with a comma causes a comma splice error. Adding 『and』 connects the two clauses, making the sentence coherent and compliant with grammar rules.
error_sentence: I feel sorry to her, I decide to admitted to the University to repayher.
correct_sentence: I feel sorry for her, and I decide to get admitted to the university to repay her.
correction: get
error_type: Verb Choice Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Choice Error: According to English grammar rules, in the original sentence 〈I decide to admitted〉, the infinitive structure is “to + base form of the verb,” whereas “admitted” is a past participle; an appropriate verb needs to be chosen to form the correct structure. “get admitted” is a fixed phrase meaning “to be accepted/enrolled”; the original sentence did not correctly use the verb “get” to pair with the passive voice 〈admitted〉, leading to an incorrect sentence structure; 『get』 should be added to make the sentence grammatically correct.
error_sentence: I feel sorry to her, I decide to admitted to the University to repayher.
correct_sentence: I feel sorry for her, and I decide to get admitted to the university to repay her.
error: University to repayher
correction: university to repay her
error_type: Space Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: ① Case Error: According to English writing conventions, 〈University〉 as a common noun should be lowercase; the capitalization in the original sentence does not conform to conventions and needs to be changed to 『university』; ② Space Error: According to English writing conventions, 〈repayher〉 lacks a necessary space and needs to be changed to 『repay her』 to ensure correct word separation.
error_sentence: Years you don't hurt her
correct_sentence: Years, please don't hurt her.
error: you
correction: , please
error_type: Sentence Structure Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: Sentence Structure Error: According to English grammar rules, the original sentence 〈Years you don't hurt her〉 lacks a clear subject-verb logical relationship. By adding 『, please』, the structure is changed to an imperative sentence, and a comma is added after 〈Years〉 to form a vocative, making the sentence structure complete, compliant with grammar rules, and expressing a tone of request.
error_sentence: Years you don't hurt her
correct_sentence: Years, please don't hurt her.
correction: .
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English writing conventions, a period 『.』 needs to be added at the end of a sentence to conclude a statement. The original sentence 〈Years you don't hurt her〉 lacks the necessary period at the end, leading to non-standard writing; 『.』 is added to complete the sentence.