Writing prompt: Should High School Students Get Online Frequently?

Student essay:
Somebody think students should get online.The reasons are as follows.First,students can get knowledge and broaden our minds online,so we will spend more time on study.We also communicate with our friends and share our knowledge with them.It is good for our study.What is more,students sometimes amuse themselves.As a result,their conclusion is:the Internet is good for students.
The reasons are forceful,but different people have different opiniions.The others think students should not get online.First,they think the working screen is harmful to students' syes.Besides,many students lose themselves in chatting and computer games.It waste their time and mind.They think students won't work hard with getting online.
In my opinion,students should use the Internet in a right way.Students should study hard on the Internet and avoid losing themselves online.students can relaxthemselves,too.

Corrected essay:
Some people think students should get online. The reasons are as follows. First, students can get knowledge and broaden their minds online, so they will spend more time on study. They can also communicate with their friends and share knowledge with them. It is good for their study. What is more, students sometimes amuse themselves. As a result, their conclusion is: the Internet is good for students.
The reasons are forceful, but different people have different opinions. Others think students should not get online. First, they think the working screen is harmful to students' eyes. Besides, many students lose themselves in chatting and computer games. It wastes their time and energy. They think students won't work hard when getting online.
In my opinion, students should use the Internet in the right way. Students should study hard on the Internet and avoid losing themselves online. Students can relax themselves, too.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: Somebody think students should get online.
correct_sentence: Some people think students should get online.
error: Somebody
correction: Some people
error_type: Noun Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Noun Error: According to the principle of subject-verb agreement, the singular indefinite pronoun 〈Somebody〉 is inconsistent in number with the plural verb 〈think〉. It should be changed to the plural noun phrase 『Some people』, which maintains the plural form and matches the subsequent plural verb, meeting the contextual requirements.
error_sentence: First,students can get knowledge and broaden our minds online,so we will spend more time on study.
correct_sentence: First, students can get knowledge and broaden their minds online, so they will spend more time on study.
error: our
correction: their
error_type: Pronoun Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Pronoun Error: According to the principle of referential consistency, the preceding subject is 〈students〉 (third-person plural), so the possessive pronoun should be 『their』 instead of 〈our〉 to maintain consistency in person reference and avoid logical confusion.
error_sentence: First,students can get knowledge and broaden our minds online,so we will spend more time on study.
correct_sentence: First, students can get knowledge and broaden their minds online, so they will spend more time on study.
error: we
correction: they
error_type: Pronoun Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Pronoun Error: According to the principle of person consistency, the subject of the main clause 〈students〉 is third-person plural, so the subsequent pronoun should be 『they』 instead of 〈we〉 to avoid discourse incoherence caused by a shift in person.
error_sentence: We also communicate with our friends and share our knowledge with them.
correct_sentence: They can also communicate with their friends and share knowledge with them.
error: We
correction: They can
error_type: Pronoun Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Pronoun Error: According to the requirement of discourse coherence, 〈We〉 is inconsistent in person with the preceding subject 〈students〉 and needs to be changed to the third-person plural 『They』 to maintain a unified narrative perspective; ② Auxiliary Error: According to the need for semantic expression, the original sentence lacks the modal verb 〈can〉 to express possibility; 『can』 should be added to make the structure 『They can share』 complete and accurately convey the meaning of 'being able to share'.
error_sentence: We also communicate with our friends and share our knowledge with them.
correct_sentence: They can also communicate with their friends and share knowledge with them.
error: our
correction: their
error_type: Pronoun Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Pronoun Error: According to the rules for using possessive pronouns, the possessive pronoun needs to be consistent with the preceding 〈students〉, using the pronoun 『their』 instead of 〈our〉 to avoid confusion in referential relationships.
error_sentence: We also communicate with our friends and share our knowledge with them.
correct_sentence: They can also communicate with their friends and share knowledge with them.
error: our
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Word Redundancy Error: According to the principle of linguistic economy, 〈our〉 is redundant in the structure 『share knowledge』 because the verb itself already implies possession; after deletion, 『share knowledge』 is more concise and accurate.
error_sentence: It is good for our study.
correct_sentence: It is good for their study.
error: our
correction: their
error_type: Pronoun Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Pronoun Error: According to the rules for using possessive pronouns, the possessive pronoun needs to be consistent with the preceding 〈students〉, using the pronoun 『their』 instead of 〈our〉 to avoid confusion in referential relationships.
error_sentence: The reasons are forceful,but different people have different opiniions. The others think students should not get online.
correct_sentence: The reasons are forceful, but different people have different opinions. Others think students should not get online.
error: opiniions.The others
correction: opinions. Others
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Spelling Error: According to English spelling conventions, 〈opiniions〉 has an extra letter 'i'; the correct spelling should be the noun 『opinions』, meaning 'views'.; ② Space Error: According to English written expression norms, a space of one letter should be maintained between a punctuation mark (comma or period) and the following word, so a space needs to be added and changed to 『. Others』.; ③ Determiner Error: According to English article usage rules, the definite article in 〈The others〉 is redundant; using 『Others』 alone is sufficient to refer to another group in a general sense, conforming to the convention of generic reference.; ④ Case Error: According to English writing conventions, the first letter of the word at the beginning of a sentence must be capitalized; 〈others〉 needs to be changed to 『Others』 to comply with standard written format requirements.
error_sentence: First,they think the working screen is harmful to students' syes.
correct_sentence: First, they think the working screen is harmful to students' eyes.
error: syes
correction: eyes
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Spelling Error: According to English vocabulary spelling conventions, 〈syes〉 is a letter order error for 〈eyes〉; it should be adjusted to the correct spelling 『eyes』 to conform to the standard expression for the human organ noun, meaning 'eyes'.
error_sentence: It waste their time and mind.
correct_sentence: It wastes their time and energy.
error: waste
correction: wastes
error_type: Subject-Verb Agreement Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Subject-Verb Agreement Error: According to English grammar rules, the subject 〈It〉, as a third-person singular pronoun, requires the verb to be in the singular form 『wastes』; the base form verb 〈waste〉 is changed to the third-person singular form to ensure subject-verb agreement.
error_sentence: It waste their time and mind.
correct_sentence: It wastes their time and energy.
error: mind
correction: energy
error_type: Noun Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Noun Error: Based on contextual semantic analysis, 〈mind〉 (intellect) does not fit the semantic collocation with 'consume'; it should be changed to the more accurate 『energy』 (vitality) to appropriately describe what students expend due to chatting and gaming.
error_sentence: They think students won't work hard with getting online.

correct_sentence: They think students won't work hard when getting online.

error: with
correction: when
error_type: Relative Word Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Relative Word Error: According to English clause structure requirements, the prepositional phrase structure 〈with getting online〉 is incorrect; it needs to be replaced with the temporal conjunction 『when』 to introduce the adverbial clause 『when getting online』, accurately expressing the temporal relationship of 'when getting online'.
error_sentence: In my opinion,students should use the Internet in a right way.
correct_sentence: In my opinion, students should use the Internet in the right way.
error: a
correction: the
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: According to the principle of English fixed collocations, the indefinite article in 〈a right way〉 is used incorrectly; the definite article structure 『the right way』, a fixed expression, should be used to specifically refer to 'the correct manner'.
error_sentence: Students should study hard on the Internet and avoid losing themselves online.students can relaxthemselves,too.
correct_sentence: Students should study hard on the Internet and avoid losing themselves online. Students can relax themselves, too.
error: online.students can relaxthemselves
correction: online. Students can relax themselves
error_type: Space Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Space Error: According to English punctuation norms, 〈online.students〉 violates English punctuation spacing rules; a space character needs to be added to change it to 『online. Students』, maintaining one space after the period.; ② Case Error: According to English writing conventions, the noun 〈students〉 at the beginning of the sentence must be capitalized as 『Students』 to meet the format requirement of capitalizing the sentence start.; ③ Space Error: According to verb phrase norms, 〈relaxthemselves〉 is run together and lacks a space; it should be written separately as 『relax themselves』 to conform to the correct spacing between a verb and a reflexive pronoun.