Writing prompt: My First Trip

Student essay:
Three years ago,I went to Tibet in summer with my parents and my younger sister.It's my first experience of travel and it is really exciting ang amazing.
We spent two days on the way by train.It was a long journey but it's not bored.We can saw a kind of beautiful scenery from the windows.
My first impression of Tibet was that sky is very blue and air is fresh.When I arrived,Ihad a little headache and so unfortable that I even can't breath at first day.Then we visited many places of scenic spot,especially the Namtso Lake.The beauty of Namtso made me unforgettable.
In Tibet,I atelots of foods and I think the most delicious food is the snack of Tibet.Just like yak mest,barley liquor and buttered tea.
There are three years has passed since then,but I can remember all things about that travel.

Corrected essay:
Three years ago, I went to Tibet in summer with my parents and my younger sister. It was my first experience of travel and it was really exciting and amazing.
We spent two days on the way by train. It was a long journey but it was not boring. We could see beautiful scenery from the windows.
My first impression of Tibet was that the sky was very blue and the air was fresh. When I arrived, I had a little headache and felt so uncomfortable that I couldn't even breathe on the first day. Then we visited many scenic spots, especially the Namtso Lake. The beauty of Namtso made it unforgettable for me.
In Tibet, I ate lots of food and I think the most delicious food is the snacks of Tibet, such as yak meat, barley liquor and buttered tea.
Three years have passed since then, but I can remember everything about that trip.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: It's my first experience of travel and it is really exciting ang amazing.

correct_sentence: It was my first experience of travel and it was really exciting and amazing.

error: 's
correction: was
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: According to the context, describing a travel experience three years ago requires the past tense. “It's” is a contraction of the present tense, indicating a verb tense error. 〈's〉 needs to be changed to 『was』 to indicate the simple past tense to conform to the context.
error_sentence: It's my first experience of travel and it is really exciting ang amazing.

correct_sentence: It was my first experience of travel and it was really exciting and amazing.

error: is
correction: was
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: According to the context, describing a travel experience three years ago requires the past tense. “It's” is a contraction of the present tense, indicating a verb tense error. 〈is〉 needs to be changed to 『was』 to indicate the simple past tense to conform to the context.
error_sentence: It's my first experience of travel and it is really exciting ang amazing.

correct_sentence: It was my first experience of travel and it was really exciting and amazing.

error: ang
correction: and
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Spelling Error: According to the context, the coordinating conjunction “and” is needed here to connect two parallel adjectives. Therefore, there is a spelling error. The incorrect spelling 〈ang〉 needs to be changed to 『and』 to conform to word spelling rules and the context.
error_sentence: It was a long journey but it's not bored.
correct_sentence: It was a long journey but it was not boring.
error: 's not bored
correction: was not boring
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Verb Tense Error: According to the context, describing a travel experience three years ago requires the past tense. “It's” is a contraction of the present tense, indicating a verb tense error. 〈's〉 needs to be changed to 『was』 to indicate the simple past tense to conform to the context; ② Adjective Error: According to English grammar rules, the adjective “bored” means “a person feels bored”. When the subject is a thing, “boring” should be used to mean “causing boredom”. Here, the misused 〈bored〉 needs to be changed to 『boring』 to conform to the original meaning and grammar rules.
error_sentence: We can saw a kind of beautiful scenery from the windows.

correct_sentence: We could see beautiful scenery from the windows.

error: can saw a kind of
correction: could see
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Auxiliary Error: According to the context, describing a travel experience three years ago requires the past tense. “can” is a modal auxiliary verb in the present tense, indicating an auxiliary error. 〈can〉 needs to be changed to 『could』 to indicate the simple past tense to conform to the context; ② Verb Tense Error: According to English grammar rules, a modal auxiliary verb should be followed by the base form of the verb. Therefore, the past tense 〈saw〉 needs to be changed to 『see』 to conform to grammar rules; ③ Word Redundancy Error: According to the original meaning, it intends to express “we could see beautiful scenery”, without needing to emphasize “a kind of scenery”. Therefore, the redundant phrase 〈a kind of〉 needs to be deleted to conform to the original meaning.
error_sentence: My first impression of Tibet was that sky is very blue and air is fresh.
correct_sentence: My first impression of Tibet was that the sky was very blue and the air was fresh.
error: sky is
correction: the sky was
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Determiner Error: According to English grammar rules, a singular countable noun needs a corresponding determiner for modification. Here, sky refers specifically to “the sky of Tibet”, so the definite article 『the』 needs to be added before 〈sky〉 to indicate specificity and conform to grammar rules; ② Verb Tense Error: According to the context, describing a travel experience three years ago requires the past tense. Therefore, there is a verb tense error here. 〈is〉 needs to be changed to 『was』 to indicate the simple past tense to conform to the context.
error_sentence: My first impression of Tibet was that sky is very blue and air is fresh.
correct_sentence: My first impression of Tibet was that the sky was very blue and the air was fresh.
error: air is
correction: the air was
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Determiner Error: According to English grammar rules, a singular countable noun needs a corresponding determiner for modification. Here, air refers specifically to “the air of Tibet”, so the definite article 『the』 needs to be added before 〈air〉 to indicate specificity and conform to grammar rules; ② Verb Tense Error: According to the context, describing a travel experience three years ago requires the past tense. Therefore, there is a verb tense error here. 〈is〉 needs to be changed to 『was』 to indicate the simple past tense to conform to the context.
error_sentence: When I arrived,Ihad a little headache and so unfortable that I even can't breath at first day.
correct_sentence: When I arrived, I had a little headache and felt so uncomfortable that I couldn't even breathe on the first day.
error: Ihad
correction: I had
error_type: Space Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Space Error: According to English syntactic rules, words in a sentence need to be separated by spaces to avoid run-on sentence components. Therefore, there is a space error here. 〈Ihad〉 needs to be changed to 『I had』 to conform to English syntactic rules.
error_sentence: When I arrived,Ihad a little headache and so unfortable that I even can't breath at first day.
correct_sentence: When I arrived, I had a little headache and felt so uncomfortable that I couldn't even breathe on the first day.
error: so unfortable
correction: felt so uncomfortable
error_type: Sentence Structure Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Sentence Structure Error: According to the original meaning, it intends to express “I felt very uncomfortable”. The English verb corresponding to “feel” is “feel”, and its simple past tense is “felt”. Here, the predicate verb 『felt』 needs to be added before 〈so unfortable〉 to complete the meaning of the sentence; ② Spelling Error: According to English word spelling rules, the correct spelling for the adjective “uncomfortable” is “uncomfortable”. Here, the incorrect spelling 〈unfortable〉 needs to be changed to 『uncomfortable』 to conform to spelling rules and the original meaning.
error_sentence: When I arrived,Ihad a little headache and so unfortable that I even can't breath at first day.
correct_sentence: When I arrived, I had a little headache and felt so uncomfortable that I couldn't even breathe on the first day.
error: even can't breath at
correction: couldn't even breathe on the
error_type: Word Order Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Word Order Error: According to English grammar rules, when the adverb of degree “even” modifies a verb, it needs to be placed after the modal auxiliary verb and before the predicate verb. Therefore, there is a word order error here. The incorrect word order 〈even can't 〉 needs to be changed to 『can't even』, meaning 'almost unable to breathe', so the adverb of degree 'even' correctly modifies the predicate verb 'breathe' to conform to English grammar rules; ② Auxiliary Error: According to the context, describing a travel experience three years ago requires the past tense. “can't” is a modal auxiliary verb in the present tense, indicating an auxiliary error. 〈can't〉 needs to be changed to 『couldn't』 to indicate the simple past tense to conform to the context; ③ Preposition Error: According to English grammar rules, the preposition “on” is needed to modify a specific day. Therefore, the preposition 〈at〉 needs to be changed to 『on』 to mean “on the first day” to conform to grammar rules; ④ Determiner Error: According to English grammar rules, when an English ordinal number modifies a noun, the definite article “the” is needed before the ordinal number. Therefore, 『the』 needs to be added before 〈first day〉 here to conform to grammar rules.
error_sentence: Then we visited many places of scenic spot,especially the Namtso Lake.
correct_sentence: Then we visited many scenic spots, especially the Namtso Lake.
error: places of scenic spot
correction: scenic spots
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Word Redundancy Error: According to the original meaning, it intends to express “we visited many scenic spots”. The fixed phrase “scenic spot” means “景点 (scenic spot)”. Therefore, the redundant words 〈places of〉 need to be deleted here to conform to English fixed phrases and the original meaning; ② Noun Number Error: According to the original meaning, it intends to express “we visited many scenic spots”. Therefore, the singular countable noun 〈scenic spot〉 needs to be changed to its plural form 『scenic spots』 to conform to the original meaning.
error_sentence: The beauty of Namtso made me unforgettable.

correct_sentence: The beauty of Namtso made it unforgettable for me.

error: me unforgettable
correction: it unforgettable for me
error_type: Sentence Structure Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Pronoun Error: According to the contextual logic, the pronoun “it” should be used here to refer to the preceding “Namtso Lake”. The first-person object pronoun 〈me〉 does not fit the sentence meaning and should be changed to 『it』 to conform to contextual logic; ② Sentence Structure Error: Based on the preceding modification, it intends to express “The beauty of Namtso Lake made it unforgettable for me”. 『for me』 needs to be added after 〈 unforgettable〉 to complete the sentence structure and conform to the original meaning.
error_sentence: In Tibet,I atelots of foods and I think the most delicious food is the snack of Tibet.
correct_sentence: In Tibet, I ate lots of food and I think the most delicious food is the snacks of Tibet, such as yak meat, barley liquor and buttered tea.

error: atelots of foods
correction: ate lots of food
error_type: Noun Number Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Space Error: According to English syntactic rules, words in a sentence need to be separated by spaces to avoid run-on sentence components. Therefore, there is a space error here. 〈atelots〉 needs to be split into 『ate lots』 to conform to syntactic rules; ② Noun Number Error: According to English grammar rules, the word “food” is an uncountable noun. Here, 〈foods〉 is a misuse of the plural form for an uncountable noun and should be changed to 『food』 to conform to the original meaning and grammar rules.
error_sentence: In Tibet,I atelots of foods and I think the most delicious food is the snack of Tibet.
correct_sentence: In Tibet, I ate lots of food and I think the most delicious food is the snacks of Tibet, such as yak meat, barley liquor and buttered tea.

error: snack
correction: snacks
error_type: Noun Number Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Noun Number Error: According to the context, this refers to “various snacks of Tibet” and should use the plural form of the countable noun. Therefore, there is a noun number error here. 〈snack〉 needs to be changed to the plural form 『snacks』 to conform to the original context.
error_sentence: In Tibet,I atelots of foods and I think the most delicious food is the snack of Tibet. Just like yak mest,barley liquor and buttered tea.

correct_sentence: In Tibet, I ate lots of food and I think the most delicious food is the snacks of Tibet, such as yak meat, barley liquor and buttered tea.

error: .Just like yak mest
correction: , such as yak meat
error_type: Conjunction Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Punctuation Error: According to the original meaning, “snacks of Tibet” will be enumerated after this point. The two sentences are closely related and coherent, not needing to be separate sentences. Therefore, 〈.〉 needs to be changed to 『,』 to conform to the inter-sentential logic of the original text; ② Space Error: According to English syntactic rules, sentences need to be separated by punctuation and spaces to avoid run-on sentence components. Therefore, a space needs to be added after 〈,〉 here; ③ Conjunction Error: According to English grammar rules, when enumerating in a sentence, “such as” is usually used to introduce the enumerated items, and “such as” is directly followed by the enumerated items without punctuation. Therefore, 〈Just like〉 needs to be changed to 『such as』 to conform to the original meaning and grammar rules; ④ Spelling Error: According to the original meaning, this refers to “yak meat”. The correct English spelling for “meat” is “meat”. Here, the incorrect spelling 〈mest〉 needs to be changed to 『meat』 to conform to the original meaning and word spelling rules.
error_sentence: There are three years has passed since then,but I can remember all things about that travel.
correct_sentence: Three years have passed since then, but I can remember everything about that trip.
error: There are three years has
correction: Three years have
error_type: Sentence Structure Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Sentence Structure Error: According to the original meaning, this refers to “three years have passed”. “Three years” can directly serve as the subject of the sentence without needing the There be existential sentence pattern. Therefore, 〈There are〉 in the original sentence needs to be deleted; ② Case Error: According to English syntactic rules, the first letter of the first word of a sentence needs to be capitalized. Therefore, 〈three〉 needs to be changed to 『Three』 to conform to syntactic rules; ③ Subject-Verb Agreement Error: Based on the preceding modification, the subject 〈Three years〉 is plural, and the auxiliary verb in the present perfect tense needs to use the corresponding plural form. 〈has〉 needs to be changed to 『have』 to conform to the principle of subject-verb agreement.
error_sentence: There are three years has passed since then,but I can remember all things about that travel.
correct_sentence: Three years have passed since then, but I can remember everything about that trip.
error: all things
correction: everything
error_type: PoS Confusion Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: PoS Confusion Error: According to the original meaning, it intends to express “I still remember everything about that trip”. “一切 (everything)” corresponds to the plural indefinite pronoun “everything” in English. Therefore, there is a PoS confusion error here. 〈all things〉 needs to be changed to 『everything』 to conform to the original meaning and English expression habits.
error_sentence: There are three years has passed since then,but I can remember all things about that travel.
correct_sentence: Three years have passed since then, but I can remember everything about that trip.
error: travel
correction: trip
error_type: Noun Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Noun Error: According to the original meaning, this specifically refers to “the trip to Tibet”, not the abstract concept of travel. The word “travel” is usually used to express the abstract concept of travel, so there is a noun error here. 〈travel〉 needs to be changed to 『trip』 to refer to a specific journey to conform to the original meaning and English expression habits.