Writing prompt: Mobile Phones in Our Life

Student essay:
Nowadays, with the development of our society, mobile phone has become more and more vital. Meanwhile, we've had a discussion about whether we should take mobile phones to school. Our opinions are divided two part.
Some students are in favour of taking mobile phones to school. Here are the reasons. First, we can use it to connect with friends and parents. Second, we can relax ourselves by playing mobile phones after we finish our tasks.
However, the others are strongly against it. In the first place, sometimes mobile phones will disturb the classes even influence other students. What's more, if we always use it to chat and sent messages each other, not only do we waste money but also waste our valued time. In addition, some students are addicted in playing games. A few students even use mobile phones to chat in exams.
In my opinion, the fact that mobile phones have many disadvantages is no reason for abandoning it completely. We can take it to school, but playing it on the class is banned. Moreover, we should use it properly. Last but not least, mobile phones are valueable so it's up to us to take care of them.

Corrected essay:
Nowadays, with the development of our society, mobile phones have become more and more vital. Meanwhile, we've had a discussion about whether we should take mobile phones to school. Our opinions are divided into two parts.
Some students are in favour of taking mobile phones to school. Here are the reasons. First, we can use them to connect with friends and parents. Second, we can relax ourselves by playing mobile phones after we finish our tasks.
However, the others are strongly against it. In the first place, sometimes mobile phones will disturb the classes and even influence other students. What's more, if we always use them to chat and send messages to each other, not only do we waste money but also waste our valuable time. In addition, some students are addicted to playing games. A few students even use mobile phones to cheat in exams.
In my opinion, the fact that mobile phones have many disadvantages is no reason for abandoning them completely. We can take them to school, but playing them in class is banned. Moreover, we should use them properly. Last but not least, mobile phones are valuable so it's up to us to take care of them.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: Nowadays, with the development of our society, mobile phone has become more and more vital.
correct_sentence: Nowadays, with the development of our society, mobile phones have become more and more vital.
error: phone has
correction: phones have
error_type: Noun Number Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Noun Number Error: According to English grammar rules, 〈mobile phone has〉 in the original sentence should be in the plural form 『mobile phones have』 to express a general concept, therefore 〈mobile phone has〉 is modified to 『mobile phones have』 to conform to grammatical rules.
error_sentence: Our opinions are divided two part.

correct_sentence: Our opinions are divided into two parts.

error: two part
correction: into two parts
error_type: Noun Number Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Preposition Error: According to English expression habits, the fixed phrase 『divided into』 requires the addition of the preposition 『into』 to indicate the result of division, therefore the preposition 『into』 needs to be added after 〈divided〉 to conform to expression habits; ② Noun Number Error: According to English grammar rules, the quantifier 〈two〉 needs to be followed by a plural noun to indicate multiple objects, while 〈part〉 in the original sentence is singular, therefore 〈part〉 is changed to the plural form 『parts』 to conform to English grammar rules.
error_sentence: First, we can use it to connect with friends and parents.
correct_sentence: First, we can use them to connect with friends and parents.
error: it
correction: them
error_type: Pronoun Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Pronoun Error: According to English grammar rules, the pronoun 『them』 should be used for plural nouns. The preceding 〈mobile phones〉 is a plural noun, so the subsequent pronoun should be in the plural form 『them』 to maintain number agreement, therefore 〈it〉 needs to be modified to 『them』 to conform to English grammar.
error_sentence: In the first place, sometimes mobile phones will disturb the classes even influence other students.
correct_sentence: In the first place, sometimes mobile phones will disturb the classes and even influence other students.
correction: and
error_type: Conjunction Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: Conjunction Error: According to English grammar rules, 〈disturb〉 and 〈influence〉 in the original sentence, as parallel structures, require the conjunction 『and』 to connect them, therefore the original sentence needs to add 『and』 to conform to English grammar rules.
error_sentence: What's more, if we always use it to chat and sent messages each other, not only do we waste money but also waste our valued time.
correct_sentence: What's more, if we always use them to chat and send messages to each other, not only do we waste money but also waste our valuable time.
error: it
correction: them
error_type: Pronoun Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Pronoun Error: According to English grammar rules, the pronoun 『them』 should be used for plural nouns. The preceding 〈mobile phones〉 is a plural noun, so the subsequent pronoun should be in the plural form 『them』 to maintain number agreement, therefore 〈it〉 needs to be modified to 『them』 to conform to English grammar.
error_sentence: What's more, if we always use it to chat and sent messages each other, not only do we waste money but also waste our valued time.
correct_sentence: What's more, if we always use them to chat and send messages to each other, not only do we waste money but also waste our valuable time.
error: sent messages
correction: send messages to
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Verb Tense Error: According to English grammar rules, the present tense should be used in conditional adverbial clauses to express a factual state. In the original sentence, 〈sent〉 is in the past tense, so it needs to be changed to the present tense 『send』 to conform to tense rules; ② Preposition Error: According to English grammar rules, the original phrase 〈sent messages〉 requires the addition of the preposition 『to』 to connect to the subsequent object 〈each other〉, therefore 〈sent messages each other〉 needs to be modified to 『send messages to each other』 to conform to grammar.
error_sentence: What's more, if we always use it to chat and sent messages each other, not only do we waste money but also waste our valued time.
correct_sentence: What's more, if we always use them to chat and send messages to each other, not only do we waste money but also waste our valuable time.
error: valued
correction: valuable
error_type: Adjective Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: Adjective Error: According to the context, the intention here is to express 'valuable'; an adjective should be used. In the original sentence, 〈valued〉 means 'regarded as important', which does not fit the context, and needs to be changed to 『valuable』 to conform to the context.
error_sentence: In addition, some students are addicted in playing games.
correct_sentence: In addition, some students are addicted to playing games.
error: in
correction: to
error_type: Preposition Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Preposition Error: According to English grammar rules, the original phrase 〈are addicted〉 requires the addition of the preposition 『to』 to connect to the subsequent action 〈playing games〉, therefore 〈are addicted in〉 needs to be modified to 『are addicted to』 to conform to grammar.
error_sentence: A few students even use mobile phones to chat in exams.

correct_sentence: A few students even use mobile phones to cheat in exams.

error: chat
correction: cheat
error_type: Verb Choice Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Choice Error: According to the context, the sentence here means 'to cheat'. In the original sentence, 〈chat〉 means 'to talk informally', which does not fit the meaning, therefore 〈chat〉 needs to be changed to 『cheat』 to match the context.
error_sentence: In my opinion, the fact that mobile phones have many disadvantages is no reason for abandoning it completely.
correct_sentence: In my opinion, the fact that mobile phones have many disadvantages is no reason for abandoning them completely.
error: it
correction: them
error_type: Pronoun Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Pronoun Error: According to English grammar rules, the pronoun 『them』 should be used for plural nouns. The preceding 〈mobile phones〉 is a plural noun, so the subsequent pronoun should be in the plural form 『them』 to maintain number agreement, therefore 〈it〉 needs to be modified to 『them』 to conform to English grammar.
error_sentence: We can take it to school, but playing it on the class is banned.
correct_sentence: We can take them to school, but playing them in class is banned.
error: it
correction: them
error_type: Pronoun Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Pronoun Error: According to English grammar rules, the pronoun 『them』 should be used for plural nouns. The preceding 〈mobile phones〉 is a plural noun, so the subsequent pronoun should be in the plural form 『them』 to maintain number agreement, therefore 〈it〉 needs to be modified to 『them』 to conform to English grammar.
error_sentence: We can take it to school, but playing it on the class is banned.
correct_sentence: We can take them to school, but playing them in class is banned.
error: it on the
correction: them in
error_type: Pronoun Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Pronoun Error: According to English grammar rules, the pronoun 『them』 should be used for plural nouns. The preceding 〈mobile phones〉 is a plural noun, so the subsequent pronoun should be in the plural form 『them』 to maintain number agreement, therefore 〈it〉 needs to be modified to 『them』 to conform to English grammar; ② Preposition Error: According to English expression habits, the preposition 『In』 is used to mean 'inside...', therefore 〈on the class〉 in the original sentence should be modified to 『in class』 to conform to expression habits; ③ Determiner Error: According to English expression habits, the definite article 〈the〉 indicates specificity. The original phrase 〈the class〉 does not require an article as it refers to a general concept here, therefore 〈the class〉 needs to be modified to 『class』 to conform to English expression habits.
error_sentence: Moreover, we should use it properly.
correct_sentence: Moreover, we should use them properly.
error: it
correction: them
error_type: Pronoun Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Pronoun Error: According to English grammar rules, the pronoun 『them』 should be used for plural nouns. The preceding 〈mobile phones〉 is a plural noun, so the subsequent pronoun should be in the plural form 『them』 to maintain number agreement, therefore 〈it〉 needs to be modified to 『them』 to conform to English grammar.
error_sentence: Last but not least, mobile phones are valueable so it's up to us to take care of them.
correct_sentence: Last but not least, mobile phones are valuable so it's up to us to take care of them.
error: valueable
correction: valuable
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Spelling Error: According to the meaning of the sentence, the intention here is to express 'valuable', therefore 〈valueable〉 is a misspelling of 『valuable』, and 〈valueable〉 needs to be modified to 『valuable』 to make the sentence coherent.