Writing prompt: Pictures and Words in the News

Student essay:
There is something worth thinking about that happened in society today.Some olds faint on the road but nobody would like to give a helping hand so that many olds are wounded even death.the reason why these take place is we do not believe in others.Last Friday,our school happened a thing which make me very moving!
Between the lessons in the afternoon,a student fainted,as soon as they classmate saw this,they called on teachers to ask for help and sent him to the hospital immediately so that he got treatment on time.When he parents heared about this,they hurried to hospital and appraciate them very much who help their child at risk.
Those who bring sunshine into their lives of others,can not keep it from others.remember this,our world must be better.

Corrected essay:
There is something worth thinking about that happened in society today. Some old people faint on the road but nobody would like to give a helping hand so that many old people are wounded or even die. The reason why these things take place is we do not believe in others. Last Friday, something happened in our school which made me deeply moved!
Between the lessons in the afternoon, a student fainted. As soon as their classmates saw this, they called on teachers to ask for help and sent him to the hospital immediately so that he got treatment on time. When his parents heard about this, they hurried to the hospital and appreciated them very much who helped their child at risk.
Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others cannot keep it from others. By remembering this, our world must be better.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: Some olds faint on the road but nobody would like to give a helping hand so that many olds are wounded even death.the reason why these take place is we do not believe in others.
correct_sentence: Some old people faint on the road but nobody would like to give a helping hand so that many old people are wounded or even die.
error: olds
correction: old people
error_type: Noun Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Noun Error: 〈olds〉 is a non-standard noun form; 『old people』 should be used to refer to elderly people, so 〈olds〉 is changed to 『old people』 to correctly express the meaning.
error_sentence: Some olds faint on the road but nobody would like to give a helping hand so that many olds are wounded even death.the reason why these take place is we do not believe in others.
correct_sentence: Some old people faint on the road but nobody would like to give a helping hand so that many old people are wounded or even die.
error: olds
correction: old people
error_type: Noun Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Noun Error: 〈olds〉 is a non-standard noun form; 『old people』 should be used to refer to elderly people, so 〈olds〉 is changed to 『old people』 to correctly express the meaning.
error_sentence: Some olds faint on the road but nobody would like to give a helping hand so that many olds are wounded even death.the reason why these take place is we do not believe in others.
correct_sentence: Some old people faint on the road but nobody would like to give a helping hand so that many old people are wounded or even die. The reason why these things take place is we do not believe in others.
error: even death.the
correction: or even die. The
error_type: Conjunction Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Conjunction Error: To make the sentence more coherent, 『or』 should be used to connect the two parallel predicates, so 『or』 is added before 〈even〉 to correctly express the meaning; ② PoS Confusion Error: 〈death〉 is a noun; here the verb 『die』 is needed to express the action of 'dying', so 〈death〉 is changed to 『die』 to correctly express the meaning; ③ Space Error: A space is needed after a period in English before starting a new sentence, so a space is added after 『die.』 to conform to writing conventions; ④ Case Error: According to English writing conventions, the first letter of a word at the beginning of a sentence needs to be capitalized, so 〈the〉 needs to be changed to 『The』 to conform to conventions.
error_sentence: Some olds faint on the road but nobody would like to give a helping hand so that many olds are wounded even death.the reason why these take place is we do not believe in others.
correct_sentence: The reason why these things take place is we do not believe in others.
correction: things
error_type: Noun Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Noun Error: The demonstrative pronoun 〈these〉 lacks a clear noun to refer to the events that occurred, so the noun 『things』 is added after 〈these〉 to complete the sentence structure.
error_sentence: Last Friday,our school happened a thing which make me very moving!

correct_sentence: Last Friday, something happened in our school which made me deeply moved!

correction: something happened in
error_sentence: Last Friday,our school happened a thing which make me very moving!

correct_sentence: Last Friday, something happened in our school which made me deeply moved!

error: happened a thing which make me very moving
correction: which made me deeply moved
error_type: Sentence Structure Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Sentence Structure Error: The original sentence's logic is confused and the meaning is unclear; considering the context, it is understood that the intended meaning is 'Last Friday, something happened at school that deeply moved me', so 〈happened a thing which make me very moving〉 is changed to 『which made me deeply moved』 to make the meaning coherent and conform to grammatical rules.
error_sentence: Between the lessons in the afternoon,a student fainted,as soon as they classmate saw this,they called on teachers to ask for help and sent him to the hospital immediately so that he got treatment on time.
correct_sentence: Between the lessons in the afternoon, a student fainted. As soon as their classmates saw this, they called on teachers to ask for help and sent him to the hospital immediately so that he got treatment on time.
error: ,as
correction: . As
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: ① Punctuation Error: 〈Between the lessons in the afternoon,a student fainted〉 and 〈as soon as they classmate saw this...〉 contain independent subject-verb structures and can be independent sentences, so 〈,〉 is changed to 『.』 and 〈as〉 is changed to 『As』; ② Space Error: According to English writing conventions, punctuation at the end of a sentence should be followed by a space before the first word of the next sentence, so 〈,as〉 is changed to 『. As』 to conform to conventions.
error_sentence: Between the lessons in the afternoon,a student fainted,as soon as they classmate saw this,they called on teachers to ask for help and sent him to the hospital immediately so that he got treatment on time.
correct_sentence: As soon as their classmates saw this, they called on teachers to ask for help and sent him to the hospital immediately so that he got treatment on time.
error: they classmate
correction: their classmates
error_type: Pronoun Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Pronoun Error: An adjectival possessive pronoun is needed here to modify the noun, so 〈they〉 is changed to 『their』 to conform to grammatical rules; ② Noun Number Error: 〈classmate〉 is a plural concept here, so 〈classmate〉 is changed to 『classmates』 to match the plural meaning in the context.
error_sentence: When he parents heared about this,they hurried to hospital and appraciate them very much who help their child at risk.

correct_sentence: When his parents heard about this, they hurried to the hospital and appreciated them very much who helped their child at risk.

error: he parents heared
correction: his parents heard
error_type: Pronoun Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Pronoun Error: An adjectival possessive pronoun is needed here to modify the noun, so 〈he〉 is changed to 『his』 to conform to grammatical rules; ② Spelling Error: According to the meaning of the sentence, it is intended to express 'hear', so 〈heared〉 is a misspelling of 『heard』; 〈heared〉 needs to be changed to 『heard』 to make the sentence meaning clear.
error_sentence: When he parents heared about this,they hurried to hospital and appraciate them very much who help their child at risk.

correct_sentence: When his parents heard about this, they hurried to the hospital and appreciated them very much who helped their child at risk.

correction: the
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: 〈hospital〉 is a countable noun and requires the definite article 『the』 to specify a particular hospital, so 『the』 is added before 〈hospital〉 to conform to grammatical rules.
error_sentence: When he parents heared about this,they hurried to hospital and appraciate them very much who help their child at risk.

correct_sentence: When his parents heard about this, they hurried to the hospital and appreciated them very much who helped their child at risk.

error: appraciate
correction: appreciated
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Spelling Error: According to the meaning of the sentence, it is intended to express 'appreciate', and the tense is past, so 〈appraciate〉 is a misspelling of 『appreciated』; 〈appraciate〉 needs to be changed to 『appreciated』 to make the sentence meaning clear.
error_sentence: When he parents heared about this,they hurried to hospital and appraciate them very much who help their child at risk.

correct_sentence: When his parents heard about this, they hurried to the hospital and appreciated them very much who helped their child at risk.

error: help
correction: helped
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: This part describes a past event, so the verb needs to be in the past tense; therefore, 〈help〉 is changed to 『helped』 to conform to the contextual tense.
error_sentence: Those who bring sunshine into their lives of others,can not keep it from others.remember this,our world must be better.
correct_sentence: Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others cannot keep it from others.
error: their
correction: the
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: The reference of 〈their〉 is unclear and does not fit the context or logic; the definite article 『the』 is needed here to specifically refer to 'the lives of others', so 〈their〉 is changed to 『the』 to correctly express the meaning.
error_sentence: Those who bring sunshine into their lives of others,can not keep it from others.remember this,our world must be better.
correct_sentence: Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others cannot keep it from others.
error: ,
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: The comma in 〈others,can not〉 is redundant and disrupts the sentence structure, so 〈,〉 is deleted to standardize the sentence structure.
error_sentence: Those who bring sunshine into their lives of others,can not keep it from others.remember this,our world must be better.
correct_sentence: Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others cannot keep it from others. By remembering this, our world must be better.
error: others.remember
correction: others. By remembering
error_type: Sentence Structure Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Space Error: A space is needed after a period in English before starting a new sentence, so a space is added after 〈others.〉 to conform to writing conventions; ② Sentence Structure Error: The original sentence structure is incorrect; 〈remember this〉 lacks a connecting element and needs the preposition 『By』 to form an adverbial phrase introducing a clause, so 〈remember〉 is changed to 『By remembering』 to conform to grammatical rules.