Writing prompt: 2015 Gaokao Past Paper National Volume II

Student essay:
Dear Joan,
My name is X.I made a plan which is to go to the nursing house with my classmates to enjoy the Double Ninth Festival.Now let me tell you something about my plan and I hope you will go with us together.
As I know that you like the Chinese festival very much so I want to invite you to go with us.We will have many interesting things to do there such as make dumplings and have some performances.I think you must be liked it.Make dumplings is exciting and we can do it together.So,join us please,I am waiting for you.
We will go to the nursing house at 7:30 and go back at 5:00 in the evening.
Looking forward to your reply.
Yours,
X

Corrected essay:
Dear Joan,
My name is X. I made a plan to go to the nursing house with my classmates to enjoy the Double Ninth Festival. Now let me tell you something about my plan and I hope you will go with us.
As I know, you like the Chinese festival very much, so I want to invite you to go with us. We will have many interesting things to do there, such as making dumplings and having some performances. I think you must like it. Making dumplings is exciting and we can do it together. So, join us, please. I am waiting for you.
We will go to the nursing house at 7:30 and go back at 5:00 in the evening.
Looking forward to your reply.
Yours,
X

Error analysis:
error_sentence: Dear Joan,
My name is X.I made a plan which is to go to the nursing house with my classmates to enjoy the Double Ninth Festival.
correct_sentence: Dear Joan,
My name is X. I made a plan to go to the nursing house with my classmates to enjoy the Double Ninth Festival.
error: X.I
correction: X. I
error_type: Space Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Space Error: According to English writing conventions, words must be separated by spaces. In this sentence, 44〈X〉 and 〈I〉 are two different words and need to be separated by a space; 〈X.I〉 should be changed to 『X. I』 to conform to English writing conventions.
error_sentence: Dear Joan,
My name is X.I made a plan which is to go to the nursing house with my classmates to enjoy the Double Ninth Festival.
correct_sentence: I made a plan to go to the nursing house with my classmates to enjoy the Double Ninth Festival.
error: which is
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Word Redundancy Error: 〈which is〉 is usually used to introduce a non-restrictive relative clause, providing further explanation of the preceding noun. However, in this sentence, there is no content that needs further explanation, but only a simple purpose (to go to the nursing house), so 〈which is〉 is deleted.
error_sentence: and I hope you will go with us together.

correct_sentence: and I hope you will go with us.

error: together
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Word Redundancy Error: 〈go with us〉 already includes the meaning of 'together', so 〈together〉 is deleted to avoid semantic repetition.
error_sentence: As I know that you like the Chinese festival very much so I want to invite you to go with us.
correct_sentence: As I know, you like the Chinese festival very much, so I want to invite you to go with us.
error: that
correction: ,
error_type: Conjunction Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: ① Punctuation Error: When 〈As I know〉 is used as an adverbial clause at the beginning of a sentence, a comma is needed to separate it from the main clause, so 『,』 is added after 〈know〉 to enhance sentence clarity; ② Conjunction Error: 〈As I know〉 is a complete introductory phrase meaning 'as far as I know', and it should be directly followed by the main clause, not introduced by 〈that〉, so 〈that〉 is deleted.
error_sentence: As I know that you like the Chinese festival very much so I want to invite you to go with us.
correct_sentence: As I know, you like the Chinese festival very much, so I want to invite you to go with us.
correction: ,
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English grammar rules, 〈so〉 is a conjunction connecting two complete sentences—a cause and an effect. A comma is usually used to connect these two independent clauses, so a comma 『,』 is added after 〈very much〉 to enhance the coherence of the sentence structure.
error_sentence: We will have many interesting things to do there such as make dumplings and have some performances.
correct_sentence: We will have many interesting things to do there, such as making dumplings and having some performances.
correction: ,
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English grammar rules, when the phrase 〈such as〉 is used for listing, a comma is needed before it to separate it from the main clause, so 『,』 is added after 〈there〉 to make the sentence structure clearer.
error_sentence: We will have many interesting things to do there such as make dumplings and have some performances.
correct_sentence: We will have many interesting things to do there, such as making dumplings and having some performances.
error: make
correction: making
error_type: Nonfinite Verb Form Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Nonfinite Verb Form Error: According to English grammar rules, 〈such as〉 is usually followed by a parallel noun phrase or gerund phrase, so 〈make〉 is changed to 『making』.
error_sentence: We will have many interesting things to do there such as make dumplings and have some performances.
correct_sentence: We will have many interesting things to do there, such as making dumplings and having some performances.
error: have
correction: having
error_type: Nonfinite Verb Form Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Nonfinite Verb Form Error: According to English grammar rules, 〈such as〉 is usually followed by a parallel noun phrase or gerund phrase, so 〈have〉 is changed to 『having』.
error_sentence: I think you must be liked it.
correct_sentence: I think you must like it.
error: be liked
correction: like
error_type: Verb Voice Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Voice Error: According to English grammar rules, the modal verb 〈must〉 should be followed by the base form of the verb, so the passive voice 〈be liked〉 is changed to the active voice 『like』.
error_sentence: Make dumplings is exciting and we can do it together.
correct_sentence: Making dumplings is exciting and we can do it together.
error: Make
correction: Making
error_type: Nonfinite Verb Form Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Nonfinite Verb Form Error: According to English grammar rules, when a verb acts as the subject, the gerund form should be used, so 〈Make〉 is changed to 『Making』. “Making dumplings” means 'making dumplings'.
error_sentence: So,join us please,I am waiting for you.

correct_sentence: So, join us, please.
error: please,
correction: , please.
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: ① Punctuation Error: According to English grammar rules, when the interjection 〈please〉 is used to express a request or polite tone, it usually needs to be separated from the main clause by a comma, so 『,』 is added before 〈please〉; ② Punctuation Error: 〈I am waiting for you〉 is an independent sentence and should be separated from the preceding part by a period, so 〈please,〉 is changed to 『please.』.