Writing prompt: How to Treat the Evacuation Drill?

Student essay:
Today my speech topic is how to take part in evacuation drill.In our shool,every term will hold the evacuation drill.It was known to all that this activity wants to teach us how to face the dangrous situations.It aiso can teach us some knowleges and skills in these aspects and improve our abilities to protect and save ourselves.
Nevertheless,when this activity was helding ,students are not serious about this.For example,sometimes students are going to laugh and talk loudly.So,in my opinion we should keep calm and quiet,listen to the signs about drill.
My speech is over.I hope you can take my advice.Thank you!

Corrected essay:
Today my speech topic is how to take part in an evacuation drill. In our school, every term we hold an evacuation drill. It is known to all that this activity wants to teach us how to face dangerous situations. It also can teach us some knowledge and skills in these aspects and improve our abilities to protect and save ourselves.
Nevertheless, when this activity is held, students are not serious about it. For example, sometimes students laugh and talk loudly. So, in my opinion we should keep calm and quiet and listen to the signs about the drill.
My speech is over. I hope you can take my advice. Thank you!

Error analysis:
error_sentence: Today my speech topic is how to take part in evacuation drill.
correct_sentence: Today my speech topic is how to take part in an evacuation drill.
correction: an
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: According to English grammar rules, the countable noun 〈evacuation drill〉 requires an indefinite article when used in a general sense, so 『an』 is added to form 『an evacuation drill』 to comply with article usage norms.
error_sentence: In our shool,every term will hold the evacuation drill.
correct_sentence: In our school, every term we hold an evacuation drill.
error: shool
correction: school
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Spelling Error: According to English spelling rules, 〈shool〉 is misspelled; the correct form should be 『school』, expressing the meaning 'school'.
error_sentence: In our shool,every term will hold the evacuation drill.
correct_sentence: In our school, every term we hold an evacuation drill.
error: will hold the
correction: we hold an
error_type: Sentence Structure Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Sentence Structure Error: According to English grammar rules, the original subject 〈every term〉 (adverbial of time) cannot perform the action 〈hold〉; a logical subject 『we』 needs to be added, changing it to 『we hold』 to make the sentence structure complete; ② Verb Tense Error: According to the sentence's meaning, it describes a regularly occurring habitual action, so the simple present tense 『hold』 should be used, not the future tense 〈will hold〉, to conform to tense consistency; ③ Determiner Error: According to English grammar rules, the countable noun 〈evacuation drill〉 requires an indefinite article when used in a general sense, so 『an』 is added to form 『an evacuation drill』 to comply with article usage norms.
error_sentence: It was known to all that this activity wants to teach us how to face the dangrous situations.
correct_sentence: It is known to all that this activity wants to teach us how to face dangerous situations.
error: was
correction: is
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: According to English grammar rules, the simple present tense should be used to express general facts or objective truths, so the past tense 〈was〉 is changed to the present tense 『is』 to ensure tense and semantic consistency.
error_sentence: It was known to all that this activity wants to teach us how to face the dangrous situations.
correct_sentence: It is known to all that this activity wants to teach us how to face dangerous situations.
error: the dangrous
correction: dangerous
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: ① Determiner Error: According to English grammar rules, the article 〈the〉 is not needed before the adjective 〈dangerous〉 and should be deleted to comply with determiner usage norms; ② Spelling Error: According to English spelling rules, 〈dangrous〉 is misspelled; the correct form should be 『dangerous』, expressing the meaning 'dangerous'. The correction ensures correct word spelling and accurate expression.
error_sentence: It aiso can teach us some knowleges and skills in these aspects and improve our abilities to protect and save ourselves.

correct_sentence: It also can teach us some knowledge and skills in these aspects and improve our abilities to protect and save ourselves.

error: aiso
correction: also
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Spelling Error: According to English spelling rules, 〈aiso〉 is misspelled; the correct form should be 『also』, expressing the meaning 'also'. The correction ensures correct word spelling and clear meaning.
error_sentence: It aiso can teach us some knowleges and skills in these aspects and improve our abilities to protect and save ourselves.

correct_sentence: It also can teach us some knowledge and skills in these aspects and improve our abilities to protect and save ourselves.

error: knowleges
correction: knowledge
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Spelling Error: According to English spelling rules, 〈knowleges〉 is misspelled; the correct form should be the uncountable noun 『knowledge』, expressing the meaning 'knowledge'. The correction ensures correct word spelling and accuracy.
error_sentence: Nevertheless,when this activity was helding ,students are not serious about this.
correct_sentence: Nevertheless, when this activity is held, students are not serious about it.
error: was helding
correction: is held
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Verb Tense Error: According to English grammar rules, the simple present tense should be used to describe regular events, so the past tense 〈was〉 is changed to the present tense 『is』 to conform to tense consistency; ② Verb Voice Error: According to English passive voice construction rules, the passive structure should be 'be verb + past participle', so the incorrect form 〈helding〉 is changed to the correct past participle form 『held』, expressing 'to hold an event'.
error_sentence: Nevertheless,when this activity was helding ,students are not serious about this.
correct_sentence: Nevertheless, when this activity is held, students are not serious about it.
error: this
correction: it
error_type: Pronoun Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Pronoun Error: According to English reference rules, 〈this〉 has an unclear referent and should be changed to 『it』 to accurately refer to the previously mentioned 〈activity〉, avoiding ambiguity.
error_sentence: For example,sometimes students are going to laugh and talk loudly.
correct_sentence: For example, sometimes students laugh and talk loudly.
error: are going to
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: According to English tense usage rules, the simple present tense should be used to describe habitual actions, so 〈are going to〉, which indicates future intention, is deleted, retaining the base form of the verb 『laugh』. The correction makes the sentence more concise and fluent.
error_sentence: So,in my opinion we should keep calm and quiet,listen to the signs about drill.

correct_sentence: So, in my opinion we should keep calm and quiet and listen to the signs about the drill.

error: ,
correction: and
error_type: Conjunction Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Conjunction Error: According to English rules for parallel structures, the two parallel actions 〈keep calm and quiet〉 and 〈listen to〉 should be connected by the conjunction 『and』, so the comma is replaced with 『and』 to complete the sentence structure.
error_sentence: So,in my opinion we should keep calm and quiet,listen to the signs about drill.

correct_sentence: So, in my opinion we should keep calm and quiet and listen to the signs about the drill.

correction: the
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: According to English article usage rules, when specifically referring to the previously mentioned drill, the definite article 『the』 should be added before 〈drill〉, forming 『the drill』 to clearly specify the referent.