Writing prompt: The Advantages and Disadvantages of Private Cars

Student essay:
As the standard of living is getting higher, more and more people are buyingcars.The number of people who own private cars is on the rise. Some people have bought cars of their own, and others are planning to buy cars. But there have been two quite different views on this phenomenon.
Some claim that there are many advantages brought about by cars. First, the automobile industry provides jobs for countless workers and strong support for other industries. Second, if conditions permit, owning a car can make us work more efficiently. Finally, life will become more convenient. A car allows one to move freely and with a car there is no need to wait for the bus in the cold or under the burning sun.
However, others strongly object to the increase in developing private cars. They hold that automobiles will give rise to a series of problems. In the first place, as more and more cars are produced and run in the street, a large volume of poisonous gas will be given off, polluting the atmosphere and causing actual harm to the health of people. Next, private cars contribute to traffic congestion so greatly that the advantages gained in comfort and freedom are often cancelled out by the frustration caused by traffic jams. The last problem is the increasing number of car accidents that have killed and will kill a lot of people in a friction of a second.
In my opinion, although automobiles have been playing a vital part in the daily activities of our society, they also bring us numerous troubles such as more serious environmental pollution, more traffic accidents and more angry consumption. They drink up huge amounts of fuel and throw out huge amounts of pollutants. Traffic accidents kill thousands and thousands of people each year and cripple more. Jams waste our precious time. Therefore I am against developing private cars.

Corrected essay:
As the standard of living is getting higher, more and more people are buying cars. The number of people who own private cars is on the rise. Some people have bought cars of their own, and others are planning to buy cars. But there have been two quite different views on this phenomenon.
Some claim that there are many advantages brought about by cars. First, the automobile industry provides jobs for countless workers and strong support for other industries. Second, if conditions permit, owning a car can make us work more efficiently. Finally, life will become more convenient. A car allows one to move freely and with a car there is no need to wait for the bus in the cold or under the burning sun.
However, others strongly object to the increase in developing private cars. They hold that automobiles will give rise to a series of problems. In the first place, as more and more cars are produced and run in the street, a large volume of poisonous gas will be given off, polluting the atmosphere and causing actual harm to the health of people. Next, private cars contribute to traffic congestion so greatly that the advantages gained in comfort and freedom are often cancelled out by the frustration caused by traffic jams. The last problem is the increasing number of car accidents that have killed and will kill a lot of people in a fraction of a second.
In my opinion, although automobiles have been playing a vital part in the daily activities of our society, they also bring us numerous troubles such as more serious environmental pollution, more traffic accidents and more angry consumption. They drink up huge amounts of fuel and throw out huge amounts of pollutants. Traffic accidents kill thousands and thousands of people each year and cripple more. Jams waste our precious time. Therefore, I am against developing private cars.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: As the standard of living is getting higher, more and more people are buyingcars.
correct_sentence: As the standard of living is getting higher, more and more people are buying cars.
error: buyingcars
correction: buying cars
error_type: Space Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Space Error: According to English writing conventions, a space must be kept between the verb phrase 〈buying〉 and the object noun 〈cars〉. The conjoined 〈buyingcars〉 is changed to the standard form 『buying cars』 (b-u-y-i-n-g + space + c-a-r-s) to comply with English word spacing requirements.
error_sentence: The last problem is the increasing number of car accidents that have killed and will kill a lot of people in a friction of a second.

correct_sentence: The last problem is the increasing number of car accidents that have killed and will kill a lot of people in a fraction of a second.

error: friction
correction: fraction
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Spelling Error: According to English fixed phrase conventions, the correct expression for “a moment” should be 『in a fraction of a second』 (f-r-a-c-t-i-o-n). The original use of 〈friction〉 (f-r-i-c-t-i-o-n, meaning “rubbing force”) is a spelling error; it not only does not fit the semantics but also causes serious misunderstanding, and must be corrected to 『fraction』 to fit the context.
error_sentence: Therefore I am against developing private cars.
correct_sentence: Therefore, I am against developing private cars.
correction: ,
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English conjunctive adverb usage rules, when 〈Therefore〉 is used as a conclusive transition word at the beginning of a sentence, a comma must be added after it to separate it from the main clause. Therefore, a comma needs to be inserted after 〈Therefore〉 to form the standard format 『Therefore,』.