Writing prompt: After-School Activities

Student essay:
Students are supposed to take an active action to join more activities,and I will say something about this matter.
Sports is very common in our life.In order to stay fit,we should take much exercise as we can.Jogging really is one of these easy ways for us.It can not only make us relax but also build up our bodies well.
If you would like to do well in English quickly,watching more English movies may be very useful.It will improve your abilities so as to speak English and other foreign languages well.
What is more?You can take part in community activities such as reading club as well as magic club.After you do that,you will make more friends than before.
How to choose after-school activities?I think that it depends on your favourites or interest.Only you like this activity,you can completely do it well.I hope that you will find it correctly.

Corrected essay:
Students are supposed to take active action to join more activities, and I will say something about this matter. Sport is very common in our life. In order to stay fit, we should take as much exercise as we can. Jogging is really one of these easy ways for us. It can not only make us relax but also build up our bodies well.
If you would like to do well in English learning quickly, watching more English movies may be very useful. It will improve your ability to speak English and other foreign languages well.
What is more? You can take part in community activities such as reading club as well as magic club. After you do that, you will make more friends than before.
How to choose after-school activities? I think that it depends on your favourites or interest. Only if you like this activity, can you completely do it well. I hope that you will find it correctly.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: Students are supposed to take an active action to join more activities,and I will say something about this matter.

correct_sentence: Students are supposed to take active action to join more activities, and I will say something about this matter.
error: an
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: According to English grammar rules, when 〈action〉 is used as an uncountable noun, it does not require an article; in the original sentence 〈take an active action〉, the determiner 〈an〉 is redundant and does not conform to the fixed expression “take active action”, so 〈an〉 should be deleted.
error_sentence: Students are supposed to take an active action to join more activities,and I will say something about this matter.
 Sports is very common in our life.
correct_sentence: Sport is very common in our life.
error: 
Sports
correction: Sport
error_type: Other Error
error_sentence: In order to stay fit,we should take much exercise as we can.
correct_sentence: In order to stay fit, we should take as much exercise as we can.
correction: as
error_type: Word Order Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Word Order Error: According to English grammar rules for comparative structures, the “as...as” structure is used to express equal comparison, where the first 〈as〉 must be placed before the adjective or adverb. In the original sentence 〈take much exercise as we can〉, the first 〈as〉 is missing, and the word order is incorrect; 〈as〉 should be added before 〈much〉 to form the correct structure “take as much exercise as we can” to meet the grammatical requirements of this comparative structure.
error_sentence: Jogging really is one of these easy ways for us.
correct_sentence: Jogging is really one of these easy ways for us.
error: really is
correction: is really
error_type: Word Order Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Word Order Error: According to English grammar rules, when the adverb 〈really〉 modifies the adjective 〈easy〉, it should be placed after the linking verb 〈is〉; in the original sentence, the position of 〈really〉 is incorrect, so 〈really is〉 should be changed to 『is really』 to conform to English adverb placement rules and common usage.
error_sentence: If you would like to do well in English quickly,watching more English movies may be very useful.
correct_sentence: If you would like to do well in English learning quickly, watching more English movies may be very useful.
correction: learning
error_type: Noun Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Noun Error: According to English semantic expression rules, the prepositional phrase “do well in” needs a clear object of action; the original sentence 〈do well in English〉 is semantically vague and lacks clear contextual limitation; adding the noun 『learning』 forms “do well in English learning”, clearly referring to English learning, making the meaning complete and clear.
error_sentence: It will improve your abilities so as to speak English and other foreign languages well.

correct_sentence: It will improve your ability to speak English and other foreign languages well.

error: abilities so as
correction: ability
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Noun Number Error: According to English grammar rules, 〈abilities〉 is a plural form, usually indicating multiple different abilities; however, this sentence emphasizes overall language ability, not multiple abilities, so the singular form 『ability』 should be used; ② Word Redundancy: The use of 〈so as to〉 in the original sentence leads to a confusing sentence structure; “ability to do sth.” is the standard structure for expressing “the ability to do something”, so this structure should be used directly, and the redundant 〈so as〉 should be deleted to make the sentence structure correct and the expression concise and fluent.
error_sentence: What is more?You can take part in community activities such as reading club as well as magic club.
correct_sentence: What is more? You can take part in community activities such as reading club as well as magic club.
error: more?You
correction: more? You
error_type: Space Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Space Error: According to English writing conventions, a space is required after a question mark 〈?〉 before starting a new sentence; in the original sentence 〈more?You〉, the space after the question mark is missing, which does not conform to punctuation rules; a space should be added after the question mark, changing it to 『more? You』, to make the sentence writing conform to English punctuation standards.
error_sentence: How to choose after-school activities?I think that it depends on your favourites or interest.
correct_sentence: How to choose after-school activities? I think that it depends on your favourites or interest.
error: activities?I
correction: activities? I
error_type: Space Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Space Error: According to English writing conventions, a space is required after a question mark 〈?〉 before starting a new sentence; in the original sentence 〈activities?I〉, the space after the question mark is missing, which does not conform to writing rules; a space should be added after the question mark, changing it to 『activities? I』, to make the sentence writing conform to English standards.
error_sentence: Only you like this activity,you can completely do it well.
correct_sentence: Only if you like this activity, can you completely do it well.
correction: if
error_type: Conjunction Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Conjunction Error: According to English grammar rules, a conditional adverbial clause needs a conjunction to introduce it; the original sentence 〈Only you like this activity〉 lacks the conjunction 〈if〉 to introduce the conditional clause, making the meaning incoherent; 『if』 should be added to form the correct 〈Only if...〉 sentence structure, making the sentence logically complete.
error_sentence: Only you like this activity,you can completely do it well.
correct_sentence: Only if you like this activity, can you completely do it well.
error: you can
correction: can you
error_type: Word Order Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Word Order Error: According to English grammar rules, when 〈Only if〉 introduces a conditional adverbial clause, the main clause requires an inverted structure; in the original sentence 〈Only if you like this activity, you can completely do it well〉, the main clause 〈you can completely do it well〉 does not use an inverted structure, which does not meet grammatical requirements; 『you can』 should be changed to 『can you』 to conform to English inversion grammar rules.