Writing prompt: A Review of Frankenstein

Student essay:
Frankenstein was a film that was directed by Kenneth Branagh. The two main characters are Robert De Niro, played by monster, and Kenneth Branagh, played by monster.
Frankenstein is a young scientist from Geneva, in Switzerland, and his father is the most famous doctor in Geneva. He discovered the secret that how to created life. He trying to create life in his own house. At a night, he created life, but that man looks like a monster, it is so ugly that nobody wants to be his friends, so the monster was revenged on Frankenstein. He killed Frankenstein's brother and wife. At last, Frankenstein and the monster are disappeared from the ice and snow to end his own life.
Frankenstein is a science fiction movie. In my point of view, the monster is a nice person, but nobody wants to make friends with him, so he was very angry.

Corrected essay:
Frankenstein is a film that was directed by Kenneth Branagh. The two main characters are Robert De Niro, who played the monster, and Kenneth Branagh, who played Frankenstein.
Frankenstein is a young scientist from Geneva, Switzerland, and his father is the most famous doctor in Geneva. He discovered the secret of how to create life. He tried to create life in his own house. One night, he created a life, but that man looked like a monster. It was so ugly that nobody wanted to be its friend, so the monster revenged itself on Frankenstein. He killed Frankenstein's brother and wife. At last, Frankenstein and the monster disappeared from the ice and snow to end their own lives.
Frankenstein is a science fiction movie. In my point of view, the monster is a nice person, but nobody wants to make friends with him, so he is very angry.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: Frankenstein was a film that was directed by Kenneth Branagh.
correct_sentence: Frankenstein is a film that was directed by Kenneth Branagh.
error: was
correction: is
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: According to English expression habits, movie titles as objective existences should use the simple present tense, therefore 〈was〉 needs to be changed to 『is』 to maintain tense consistency.
error_sentence: The two main characters are Robert De Niro, played by monster, and Kenneth Branagh, played by monster.

correct_sentence: The two main characters are Robert De Niro, who played the monster, and Kenneth Branagh, who played Frankenstein.

error: played by
correction: who played the
error_type: Relative Word Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Relative Word Error: According to the context, this means "he played the monster", a relative pronoun 『who』 should be used to introduce the clause to describe the character, therefore 『who』 needs to be added to the original sentence to clarify the relationship between the actor and the role; ② Determiner Error: According to English grammar rules, the definite article 『the』 indicates specificity, in the original sentence 〈monster〉 is a character name, therefore 『the』 needs to be added before 〈monster〉 to clarify the meaning.
error_sentence: The two main characters are Robert De Niro, played by monster, and Kenneth Branagh, played by monster.

correct_sentence: The two main characters are Robert De Niro, who played the monster, and Kenneth Branagh, who played Frankenstein.

error: played by monster
correction: who played Frankenstein
error_type: Relative Word Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Relative Word Error: According to the context, this means "he played the monster", a relative pronoun 『who』 should be used to introduce the clause to describe the character, therefore 『who』 needs to be added to the original sentence to clarify the relationship between the actor and the role; ② Noun Error: According to the context, Kenneth Branagh actually played the role of the scientist, not the monster, therefore 〈monster〉 needs to be corrected to 『Frankenstein』 to accurately describe the role.
error_sentence: Frankenstein is a young scientist from Geneva, in Switzerland, and his father is the most famous doctor in Geneva.
correct_sentence: Frankenstein is a young scientist from Geneva, Switzerland, and his father is the most famous doctor in Geneva.
error: in
error_type: Preposition Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Preposition Error: According to the context, when 『Geneva, Switzerland』 is used as an appositive structure, no preposition is needed for connection, therefore the redundant 〈in〉 is deleted to make the meaning clear and conform to grammatical rules.
error_sentence: He discovered the secret that how to created life.
correct_sentence: He discovered the secret of how to create life.
error: that
correction: of
error_type: Preposition Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Preposition Error: According to English expression habits, the content following the noun 〈secret〉 needs to be introduced by the preposition 『of』 to form an appositive structure, therefore 〈that〉 is replaced with 『of』 to conform to expression habits.
error_sentence: He discovered the secret that how to created life.
correct_sentence: He discovered the secret of how to create life.
error: created
correction: create
error_type: Nonfinite Verb Form Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Nonfinite Verb Form Error: According to English grammar rules, 〈to〉 in the original sentence should be followed by the base form of the verb to form an infinitive structure, therefore 〈created〉 needs to be changed to 『create』 to conform to the grammatical structure.
error_sentence: He trying to create life in his own house.
correct_sentence: He tried to create life in his own house.
error: trying
correction: tried
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: According to the context, the simple past tense should be used here, while 〈trying〉 in the original sentence is in the progressive tense, therefore 〈trying〉 needs to be changed to the simple past tense 『tried』 to fit the context.
error_sentence: At a night, he created life, but that man looks like a monster, it is so ugly that nobody wants to be his friends, so the monster was revenged on Frankenstein.
correct_sentence: One night, he created a life, but that man looked like a monster.
error: At a
correction: One
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: According to English expression habits, the fixed expression 〈one night〉 does not require an article, therefore 〈At a night〉 needs to be modified to 『One night』 to correctly express the point in time.
error_sentence: At a night, he created life, but that man looks like a monster, it is so ugly that nobody wants to be his friends, so the monster was revenged on Frankenstein.
correct_sentence: One night, he created a life, but that man looked like a monster.
correction: a
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: According to English expression habits, the indefinite article 『a』 is needed before the generic singular countable noun 〈life〉 to indicate singularity, therefore 〈created life〉 is modified to 『created a life』 to conform to expression habits.
error_sentence: At a night, he created life, but that man looks like a monster, it is so ugly that nobody wants to be his friends, so the monster was revenged on Frankenstein.
correct_sentence: One night, he created a life, but that man looked like a monster.
error: looks
correction: looked
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: According to the context, the simple past tense should be used here, while 〈looks〉 in the original sentence is in the simple present tense, therefore 〈looks〉 needs to be changed to the simple past tense 『looked』 to fit the context.
error_sentence: At a night, he created life, but that man looks like a monster, it is so ugly that nobody wants to be his friends, so the monster was revenged on Frankenstein.
correct_sentence: One night, he created a life, but that man looked like a monster. It was so ugly that nobody wanted to be its friend, so the monster revenged itself on Frankenstein.
error: , it is
correction: . It was
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Punctuation Error: According to English grammar rules, two independent clauses need to be separated by a period to avoid a run-on sentence; in the original sentence, 〈that man looks like a monster〉 and 〈it is so ugly that...〉 are two main clauses, therefore 〈,〉 is changed to 『.』 to conform to grammar; ② Verb Tense Error: According to the context, the simple past tense should be used here, while 〈is〉 in the original sentence is in the simple present tense, therefore 〈is〉 needs to be changed to the simple past tense 『was』 to fit the context.
error_sentence: At a night, he created life, but that man looks like a monster, it is so ugly that nobody wants to be his friends, so the monster was revenged on Frankenstein.
correct_sentence: It was so ugly that nobody wanted to be its friend, so the monster revenged itself on Frankenstein.
error: wants
correction: wanted
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: According to the context, the simple past tense should be used here, while 〈wants〉 in the original sentence is in the simple present tense, therefore 〈wants〉 needs to be changed to the simple past tense 『wanted』 to fit the context.
error_sentence: At a night, he created life, but that man looks like a monster, it is so ugly that nobody wants to be his friends, so the monster was revenged on Frankenstein.
correct_sentence: It was so ugly that nobody wanted to be its friend, so the monster revenged itself on Frankenstein.
error: his friends
correction: its friend
error_type: Pronoun Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Pronoun Error: According to the sentence meaning, it intends to express "its", the monster as a non-living being should use 『its』, 〈his〉 in the original sentence is incorrect, the possessive should be 『its』, therefore 〈his〉 is modified to 『its』 to express possession and fit the context; ② Noun Number Error: According to the context, 〈friends〉 in the original sentence should be in the singular form 『friend』 to match 〈monster〉, to fit the context.
error_sentence: At a night, he created life, but that man looks like a monster, it is so ugly that nobody wants to be his friends, so the monster was revenged on Frankenstein.
correct_sentence: It was so ugly that nobody wanted to be its friend, so the monster revenged itself on Frankenstein.
error: was revenged
correction: revenged itself
error_type: Verb Voice Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Voice Error: According to the context, this means "to revenge oneself", reflexive verbs require the active voice, therefore the passive structure 〈was revenged〉 is changed to the active form 『revenged itself』 to fit the context.
error_sentence: At last, Frankenstein and the monster are disappeared from the ice and snow to end his own life.

correct_sentence: At last, Frankenstein and the monster disappeared from the ice and snow to end their own lives.

error: are
error_type: Verb Voice Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Voice Error: According to English expression habits, "disappear" is an intransitive verb and does not require the passive voice, therefore 〈are disappeared〉 needs to be modified to 『disappeared』 to conform to grammar.
error_sentence: At last, Frankenstein and the monster are disappeared from the ice and snow to end his own life.

correct_sentence: At last, Frankenstein and the monster disappeared from the ice and snow to end their own lives.

error: his own life
correction: their own lives
error_type: Pronoun Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Pronoun Error: According to the context, this means "their lives", the pronoun 〈his〉 needs to be changed to 『their』 to match the dual subject 〈Frankenstein and the monster〉, and 〈life〉 needs to be adjusted to the plural form 『lives』 to express the action of both ending their lives, therefore 〈his own life〉 needs to be modified to 『their own lives』 to fit the context.
error_sentence: In my point of view, the monster is a nice person, but nobody wants to make friends with him, so he was very angry.
correct_sentence: In my point of view, the monster is a nice person, but nobody wants to make friends with him, so he is very angry.
error: was
correction: is
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: According to the context, the simple present tense should be used here, while 〈was〉 in the original sentence is in the simple past tense, therefore 〈was〉 needs to be changed to the simple present tense 『is』 to fit the context.