Writing prompt: My Favorite Place at School

Student essay:
There are a lot of interesting places in our school,for instance classrooms, reading room and playground... Nonetheless what my favorite place is playground, because that our playground is very big and bright.
In the playground around by green trees, lawn and a rockery. I can always hear the laughter of the students when the students are playing on the playground.
Doing exercises and major festivals are held in the playground. At the end of the class,students can not only run and jump but also on the playground with a variety of machinery to do sports. When I feel tired and unhappy,I am long to walk along the playground, and then I will slowly forget troubles,and exercise can make me feel relaxed and happy here.
Although our playground is small but I still love it,because playground brings me and others laugh. It is too hard to forget this place, because in the course of school time the playground has many memories of me. In my perspective,my favorite place in school is the playground.

Corrected essay:
There are a lot of interesting places in our school, for instance, classrooms, the reading room and the playground. Nonetheless, my favorite place is the playground, because our playground is very big and bright.
The playground is surrounded by green trees, a lawn and a rockery. I can always hear the laughter of the students when the students are playing on the playground.
Exercises and major festivals are held in the playground. At the end of the class, students can not only run and jump but also use a variety of machinery to do sports on the playground. When I feel tired and unhappy, I long to walk along the playground, and then I will slowly forget my troubles, and exercise can make me feel relaxed and happy here.
Although our playground is small, I still love it, because the playground brings me and others laughter. It is too hard to forget this place, because during school time, the playground holds many of my memories. In my perspective, my favorite place in school is the playground.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: There are a lot of interesting places in our school,for instance classrooms, reading room and playground...
correct_sentence: There are a lot of interesting places in our school, for instance, classrooms, the reading room and the playground.
correction: ,
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English grammar rules, when giving examples, a comma is needed after the phrase 〈for instance〉 to separate the inserted component, so 『,』 is inserted after 〈for instance〉 to comply with punctuation usage standards.
error_sentence: There are a lot of interesting places in our school,for instance classrooms, reading room and playground...
correct_sentence: There are a lot of interesting places in our school, for instance, classrooms, the reading room and the playground.
correction: the
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: According to English grammar rules, the singular countable noun 〈reading room〉 lacks a necessary determiner; 『the』 needs to be added to specifically refer to the school's reading room.
error_sentence: There are a lot of interesting places in our school,for instance classrooms, reading room and playground... Nonetheless what my favorite place is playground, because that our playground is very big and bright.

correct_sentence: There are a lot of interesting places in our school, for instance, classrooms, the reading room and the playground. Nonetheless, my favorite place is the playground, because our playground is very big and bright.

error: playground... Nonetheless what
correction: the playground. Nonetheless,
error_type: Sentence Structure Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Determiner Error: According to English grammar rules, the singular countable noun 〈playground〉 lacks a necessary determiner; 『the』 needs to be added to specifically refer to the school's playground; ② Punctuation Error: The ellipsis 〈...〉 is used improperly; according to English writing conventions, it needs to be replaced with a period to correctly end the sentence; ③ Sentence Structure Error: The original sentence 〈what my favorite place is playground〉 has a confused structure; delete 〈what〉 and adjust the word order to 『my favorite place is the playground』 to form a correct predicative clause.
error_sentence: Nonetheless what my favorite place is playground, because that our playground is very big and bright.

correct_sentence: Nonetheless, my favorite place is the playground, because our playground is very big and bright.

correction: the
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: According to English grammar rules, the singular countable noun 〈playground〉 lacks a necessary determiner; 『the』 needs to be added to specifically refer to the school's playground.
error_sentence: Nonetheless what my favorite place is playground, because that our playground is very big and bright.

correct_sentence: Nonetheless, my favorite place is the playground, because our playground is very big and bright.

error: that
error_type: Conjunction Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Conjunction Error: According to English grammar rules, the conjunction 〈because〉 already implies a causal relationship and does not need to be combined with 〈that〉; therefore, the redundant conjunction 〈that〉 is deleted to conform to English clause structure.
error_sentence: In the playground around by green trees, lawn and a rockery.
correct_sentence: The playground is surrounded by green trees, a lawn and a rockery.
error: In the playground around
correction: The playground is surrounded
error_type: Sentence Structure Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: Sentence Structure Error: The original sentence 〈In the playground around by green trees〉 lacks a predicate verb, and its structure is confused; it is modified to 『The playground is surrounded』 to form a complete subject-verb structure.
error_sentence: In the playground around by green trees, lawn and a rockery.
correct_sentence: The playground is surrounded by green trees, a lawn and a rockery.
correction: a
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: According to English grammar rules, the singular countable noun 〈 lawn〉 lacks a necessary determiner; the determiner 『a』 needs to be added to clarify its singular form.
error_sentence: Doing exercises and major festivals are held in the playground.
correct_sentence: Exercises and major festivals are held in the playground.
error: Doing exercises
correction: Exercises
error_type: Noun Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Noun Error: The gerund phrase 〈Doing exercises〉 as the subject here does not fit the context; based on the context, the noun 『Exercises』 should be used to directly refer to the activity name, corresponding to the subsequent 〈major festivals〉.
error_sentence: At the end of the class,students can not only run and jump but also on the playground with a variety of machinery to do sports.
correct_sentence: At the end of the class, students can not only run and jump but also use a variety of machinery to do sports on the playground.
error: on the playground with
correction: use
error_type: Verb Choice Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Choice Error: The correlative conjunction 〈not only... but also〉 requires parallel structure; the original prepositional phrase 〈on the playground with〉 does not match the verbs 〈run and jump〉. Based on the sentence meaning, it should be changed to the verb 『use』 to achieve grammatical symmetry and semantic coherence.
error_sentence: At the end of the class,students can not only run and jump but also on the playground with a variety of machinery to do sports.
correct_sentence: At the end of the class, students can not only run and jump but also use a variety of machinery to do sports on the playground.
correction: on the playground
error_type: Word Order Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Word Order Error: According to English expression habits, the adverbial of place 〈on the playground〉 should be placed at the end of the sentence to clarify the location of the action; the word order is adjusted to make the sentence logic clear.
error_sentence: When I feel tired and unhappy,I am long to walk along the playground, and then I will slowly forget troubles,and exercise can make me feel relaxed and happy here.

correct_sentence: When I feel tired and unhappy, I long to walk along the playground, and then I will slowly forget my troubles, and exercise can make me feel relaxed and happy here.

error: am
error_type: Auxiliary Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Auxiliary Error: According to English expression habits, the verb 〈long〉 is itself a main verb and does not require the auxiliary verb 〈am〉 before it; therefore, the auxiliary verb 〈am〉 is deleted to conform to the idiomatic expression of the sentence.
error_sentence: When I feel tired and unhappy,I am long to walk along the playground, and then I will slowly forget troubles,and exercise can make me feel relaxed and happy here.

correct_sentence: When I feel tired and unhappy, I long to walk along the playground, and then I will slowly forget my troubles, and exercise can make me feel relaxed and happy here.

correction: my
error_sentence: Although our playground is small but I still love it,because playground brings me and others laugh.
correct_sentence: Although our playground is small, I still love it, because the playground brings me and others laughter.
error: but
correction: ,
error_type: Conjunction Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Conjunction Error: According to English grammar rules, the conjunctions 〈Although〉 and 〈but〉 cannot be used together in English; 〈but〉 needs to be deleted and a comma 『,』 added to separate the clauses.
error_sentence: Although our playground is small but I still love it,because playground brings me and others laugh.
correct_sentence: Although our playground is small, I still love it, because the playground brings me and others laughter.
correction: the
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: According to English grammar rules, the singular countable noun 〈playground〉 lacks a necessary determiner; 『the』 needs to be added to specifically refer to the school's playground.
error_sentence: Although our playground is small but I still love it,because playground brings me and others laugh.
correct_sentence: Although our playground is small, I still love it, because the playground brings me and others laughter.
error: laugh
correction: laughter
error_type: PoS Confusion Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: PoS Confusion Error: According to English grammar rules, a noun should be used here; the original sentence mistakenly uses the verb form 〈laugh〉, which does not conform to conventional expression, and should be changed to the abstract noun 『laughter』 to accurately express the meaning of "laughter".
error_sentence: It is too hard to forget this place, because in the course of school time the playground has many memories of me.
correct_sentence: It is too hard to forget this place, because during school time, the playground holds many of my memories.
error: in the course of
correction: during
error_type: Preposition Error
error_severity: 2
error_sentence: It is too hard to forget this place, because in the course of school time the playground has many memories of me.
correct_sentence: It is too hard to forget this place, because during school time, the playground holds many of my memories.
correction: ,
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English grammar rules, a comma is needed after 〈time〉 to separate the main clause, enhancing sentence readability.
error_sentence: It is too hard to forget this place, because in the course of school time the playground has many memories of me.
correct_sentence: It is too hard to forget this place, because during school time, the playground holds many of my memories.
error: has many memories of me
correction: holds many of my memories
error_type: Sentence Structure Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Verb Choice Error: Based on the sentence meaning, the intention here is to express "承载记忆" (bearing memories) in a personified manner; the verb 〈has〉 is not appropriate for the context and should be changed to 『holds』; ② Sentence Structure Error: The original phrase 〈has many memories of me〉 does not conform to grammatical rules and should be modified to 『holds many of my memories』 to express the meaning of holding memories.