Writing prompt: Should We Keep Animals in Zoos?

Student essay:
We had a discussion in our English lesson this week. The theme of the discussion is"Shall we keep animals in zoos? ".
In the discussion, 40%of us thought that we should keep animals in zoos so that we can see and know more about different animals. What's more, the animals in zoos are safe. They can be taken good care of in zoos.
The rest 60% students thought that it was much better to keep animals in the wild. Nature is animals' home. They prefer living in the wild to living in the cages. Animals can't have a free life and do what they like in the cages.
I think that animals shouldn't be kept in zoos. Living in zoos may change their living habits. Most importantly, living in the wild can exercise their living skills so that they can grow strong.
In order to keep animals alive, we should protect their home such as forests and prairies. Let's protect the natural environment together to save animals!

Corrected essay:
We had a discussion in our English lesson this week. The theme of the discussion is "Shall we keep animals in zoos?"
In the discussion, 40% of us thought that we should keep animals in zoos so that we can see and know more about different animals. What's more, the animals in zoos are safe. They can be taken good care of in zoos.
The rest 60% of students thought that it was much better to keep animals in the wild. Nature is animals' home. They prefer living in the wild to living in cages. Animals can't have a free life and do what they like in cages.
I think that animals shouldn't be kept in zoos. Living in zoos may change their living habits. Most importantly, living in the wild can exercise their living skills so that they can grow strong.
In order to keep animals alive, we should protect their homes such as forests and prairies. Let's protect the natural environment together to save animals!

Error analysis:
error_sentence: The theme of the discussion is"Shall
correct_sentence: The theme of the discussion is "Shall we keep animals in zoos?
error: is"Shall
correction: is "Shall
error_type: Space Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Space Error: According to English punctuation format specifications, a space needs to be kept between the quotation mark 〈"〉 and the preceding content, therefore 〈is"Shall〉 is modified to 『is "Shall』, making the punctuation usage conform to standard writing rules.
error_sentence: ".

correct_sentence: "
In the discussion, 40% of us thought that we should keep animals in zoos so that we can see and know more about different animals.
error: .
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English question writing specifications, the question mark 〈?〉 has already fully expressed the interrogative tone, and there is no need to add an extra period, therefore the redundant period in 〈?".〉 is deleted to maintain punctuation conciseness; the correct form is 『?"』.
error_sentence: In the discussion, 40%of us thought that we should keep animals in zoos so that we can see and know more about different animals.
correct_sentence: "
In the discussion, 40% of us thought that we should keep animals in zoos so that we can see and know more about different animals.
error: 40%of
correction: 40% of
error_type: Space Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Space Error: According to English writing specifications, a space needs to be added between the percentage sign 〈%〉 and the subsequent preposition 〈of〉, therefore 〈40%of〉 is modified to 『40% of』, so that the number and preposition are correctly separated.
error_sentence: The rest 60% students thought that it was much better to keep animals in the wild.
correct_sentence: The rest 60% of students thought that it was much better to keep animals in the wild.
correction: of
error_type: Preposition Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Preposition Error: According to English rules for expressing proportions, 〈the rest 60%〉 needs the preposition 『of』 to connect to the noun, therefore 『of』 is added to form the correct structure 『the rest 60% of students』, making the meaning complete.
error_sentence: They prefer living in the wild to living in the cages.
correct_sentence: They prefer living in the wild to living in cages.
error: the
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: According to English article usage rules, when referring to cages in a general sense (non-specific), the definite article 〈the〉 is not needed, therefore the redundant article in 〈the cages〉 is deleted, changing it to 『cages』 to conform to general reference.
error_sentence: Animals can't have a free life and do what they like in the cages.

correct_sentence: Animals can't have a free life and do what they like in cages.

error: the
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: According to English article usage rules, when referring to cages in a general sense (non-specific), the definite article 〈the〉 is not needed, therefore the redundant article in 〈the cages〉 is deleted, changing it to 『cages』 to conform to general reference.
error_sentence: In order to keep animals alive, we should protect their home such as forests and prairies.
correct_sentence: In order to keep animals alive, we should protect their homes such as forests and prairies.
error: home
correction: homes
error_type: Noun Number Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Noun Number Error: According to English pronoun agreement rules, 〈their〉 refers to the plural noun 〈animals〉, therefore the corresponding 〈home〉 needs to be changed to the plural form 『homes』, to maintain subject-predicate-object agreement in number.