Writing prompt: Lucy's Journey

Student essay:
Lucy comes from American,she lives in New York,she have been to Beijing for a journey by plane,and she arrived at 4pm. in November 3th.
She lived in a five-star hotel,and she visited many places of historic interests and scenics beauty.Such as Tian'anmen Square,The Great Hall of the People,The Forbidden City and The Temple of Heaven .
After 4 days,she went back to Americ.She has a good journey.

Corrected essay:
Lucy comes from America, and she lives in New York. She went to Beijing for a journey by plane, and she arrived at 4 p.m. on November 3rd.
She lived in a five-star hotel, and she visited many places of historic interest and scenic beauty, such as Tian'anmen Square, The Great Hall of the People, The Forbidden City and The Temple of Heaven.
After 4 days, she went back to America. She had a good journey.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: Lucy comes from American,she lives in New York,she have been to Beijing for a journey by plane,and she arrived at 4pm.
correct_sentence: Lucy comes from America, and she lives in New York.
error: American,
correction: America, and
error_type: Conjunction Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Noun Error: 〈American〉 is an adjective, while the intention here is to express the country name, so 〈American〉 is changed to the noun form 『America』 to correctly convey the meaning; ② Conjunction Error: 〈Lucy comes from American〉 and 〈she lives in New York〉 contain independent subject-verb structures and can stand as separate sentences, so 〈American,〉 is modified to 『America, and』 to enhance sentence coherence.
error_sentence: Lucy comes from American,she lives in New York,she have been to Beijing for a journey by plane,and she arrived at 4pm.
correct_sentence: Lucy comes from America, and she lives in New York. She went to Beijing for a journey by plane, and she arrived at 4 p.m. on November 3rd.

error: ,she have been
correction: . She went
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: ① Punctuation Error: 『Lucy comes from America, and she lives in New York』 and 〈she have been to Beijing for a journey by plane,and she arrived at 4pm.〉 contain independent subject-verb structures and can stand as separate sentences, so 〈,she〉 is modified to 『. She』 to conform to punctuation standards; ② Verb Tense Error: 〈have been〉 is present perfect tense, which is inconsistent with the context of narrating past events, so 〈have been〉 is changed to 『went』 to comply with grammatical rules.
error_sentence: Lucy comes from American,she lives in New York,she have been to Beijing for a journey by plane,and she arrived at 4pm. in November 3th.

correct_sentence: She went to Beijing for a journey by plane, and she arrived at 4 p.m. on November 3rd.

error: pm. in November 3th
correction: p.m. on November 3rd
error_type: Preposition Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: ① Punctuation Error: 〈pm〉 should be written as 『p.m.』 and a period should be added; ② Preposition Error: The preposition before a date indicating a specific day should be 『on』, not 〈in〉; ③ Number Error: The correct spelling for the ordinal number 〈3th〉 should be 『3rd』. After comprehensive correction, it becomes 『p.m. on November 3rd』.
error_sentence: She lived in a five-star hotel,and she visited many places of historic interests and scenics beauty. Such as Tian'anmen Square,The Great Hall of the People,The Forbidden City and The Temple of Heaven .

correct_sentence: She lived in a five-star hotel, and she visited many places of historic interest and scenic beauty, such as Tian'anmen Square, The Great Hall of the People, The Forbidden City and The Temple of Heaven.

error: interests and scenics beauty.Such
correction: interest and scenic beauty, such
error_type: PoS Confusion Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Noun Number Error: 〈historic interests〉 is an uncountable noun phrase, so 〈interests〉 is modified to 『interest』 to express an abstract concept; ② PoS Confusion Error: 〈scenics〉 is an adjective incorrectly used as a noun, so 〈scenics〉 is changed to 『scenic』 to modify the noun 〈beauty〉; ③ Punctuation Error: 〈Such as〉 indicates enumeration and should be preceded by a comma, so 〈.Such〉 is changed to 『, such』 to make the sentence coherent.
error_sentence: After 4 days,she went back to Americ.
correct_sentence: After 4 days, she went back to America.
error: Americ
correction: America
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Spelling Error: According to the sentence meaning, it is clear that “America” is intended here, so 〈Americ〉 is a misspelling of 『America』; 〈Americ〉 needs to be changed to 『America』 to make the sentence flow smoothly.
error_sentence: She has a good journey.
correct_sentence: She had a good journey.
error: has
correction: had
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: The entire text describes past events and should use the simple past tense, but 〈has〉 is in the simple present tense, so 〈has〉 is changed to the past tense form 『had』 to maintain tense consistency.