Writing prompt: Why Go to University?

Student essay:
why do we go to university ? Different people have different points of view. soom people think
that to the university to study , is to get a good job in the future . In fact , The university provides a good opportunity for those who desire to learn more knowledge . so they can better serve the motherland
in the future , This is the attraction of the university of

Corrected essay:
Why do we go to university? Different people have different points of view. Some people think that going to university to study is to get a good job in the future. In fact, the university provides a good opportunity for those who desire to learn more knowledge, so they can better serve the motherland in the future. This is the attraction of the university.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: why do we go to university ?
correct_sentence: Why do we go to university?
error: why
correction: Why
error_type: Case Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Case Error: According to English writing conventions, the first letter of the word at the beginning of a sentence needs to be capitalized; the first word 〈why〉 in the original sentence needs to be capitalized, so 〈why〉 needs to be changed to 『Why』 to conform to the convention.
error_sentence: soom people think
that to the university to study , is to get a good job in the future .
correct_sentence: Some people think that going to university to study is to get a good job in the future.
error: soom
correction: Some
error_type: Spelling Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Spelling Error: According to the meaning of the sentence, it is clear that the intention here is to express 'some', so 〈soom〉 is a misspelling of 『Some』; 〈soom〉 needs to be changed to 『Some』 to make the sentence coherent.
error_sentence: soom people think
that to the university to study , is to get a good job in the future .
correct_sentence: Some people think that going to university to study is to get a good job in the future.
error: 
that to the
correction: that going to
error_type: Verb Choice Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Verb Choice Error: According to English grammar rules, a sentence requires a subject; the object clause introduced by 〈think that〉 in the original sentence lacks a subject, so the gerund 『going』 needs to be added as the subject to form a complete sentence, in accordance with English grammar rules; ② Determiner Error: According to English grammar rules, the definite article 〈the〉 indicates specificity; in the original sentence, 〈university〉 is used in a general sense, so 〈the university〉 needs to be changed to 『university』 to clarify the meaning.
error_sentence: soom people think
that to the university to study , is to get a good job in the future .
correct_sentence: Some people think that going to university to study is to get a good job in the future.
error: ,
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English grammar rules, no comma is needed to separate the object clause 〈that...study〉 and the predicative 〈is to get...〉, so 〈university to study , is to〉 needs to be changed to 『university to study is to』 to conform to grammar.
error_sentence: In fact , The university provides a good opportunity for those who desire to learn more knowledge .
correct_sentence: In fact, the university provides a good opportunity for those who desire to learn more knowledge, so they can better serve the motherland in the future.
error: The
correction: the
error_type: Case Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Case Error: According to English writing conventions, the first letter of a word not at the beginning of a sentence does not need to be capitalized; in the original sentence, 〈The〉 is not the first word of the sentence, so 〈The〉 needs to be changed to 『the』 to conform to the convention.
error_sentence: In fact , The university provides a good opportunity for those who desire to learn more knowledge .
correct_sentence: In fact, the university provides a good opportunity for those who desire to learn more knowledge, so they can better serve the motherland in the future.
error: .
correction: ,
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English grammar rules, in a compound sentence, a comma is needed before the conjunction 〈so〉 to separate the main clauses, so the original 〈. so〉 needs to be changed to 『, so』 to conform to grammar rules.
error_sentence: so they can better serve the motherland
in the future , This is the attraction of the university of
correct_sentence: In fact, the university provides a good opportunity for those who desire to learn more knowledge, so they can better serve the motherland in the future.
error: 

error_type: Format Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: Format Error: According to English writing conventions, unnecessary line breaks in a paragraph should be deleted to maintain consistency in sentence and paragraph formatting, so the original sentence needs to be changed to 『so they can better serve the motherland in the future』 to conform to writing format.
error_sentence: so they can better serve the motherland
in the future , This is the attraction of the university of
correct_sentence: In fact, the university provides a good opportunity for those who desire to learn more knowledge, so they can better serve the motherland in the future.
error: ,
correction: .
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English grammar rules, a period is needed to separate two independent main clauses to avoid a run-on sentence; in the original sentence, 〈so they can...〉 and 〈This is...〉 are two main clauses, so 〈,〉 is changed to 『.』 to conform to grammar.
error_sentence: so they can better serve the motherland
in the future , This is the attraction of the university of
correct_sentence: This is the attraction of the university.
error: of
correction: .
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Word Redundancy: According to the context, the preposition 〈of〉 at the end of the sentence is redundant and makes the meaning incomplete, so deleting the redundant 〈of〉 can make the sentence more concise without affecting its meaning; ② Punctuation Error: According to writing conventions, a sentence needs a period to be complete; the original sentence 〈This is the attraction of the university of〉 is structurally complete but lacks a period at the end, so it is changed to 『This is the attraction of the university.』 to conform to English punctuation usage rules.