Writing prompt: Should Students Be Allowed to Use Cellphone at School?

Student essay:
As time goes by, more and more people have themselves cellphones. That is influence of many students
some advantages are students used cellphone. For one thing, everyone can learn to everywhere and also strengthen communication between parents and children. For another convenient the students learn from each other, everyone can become greatest.
But students used cellphone have some disadvantages also. First, people maybe not used cellphone study. He can play computer games on the phone. Secondly, cellphone is expensive, if break out flood, your parents are argument with you. Thirdly, it is badly for your eyes. If you use a mobile phone for a long time, you will need to wear glasses.
ln my opinion. l think it's better not allowed to students used cellphone

Corrected essay:
As time goes by, more and more people have their own cellphones. That influences many students.
Some advantages exist when students use cellphones. For one thing, everyone can learn anywhere and also strengthen communication between parents and children. For another, it is convenient for students to learn from each other. Everyone can improve greatly.
But students using cellphones also have some disadvantages. First, people may not use cellphones for studying. They can play computer games on the phone. Secondly, cellphones are expensive. If they break, your parents might argue with you. Thirdly, it is bad for your eyes. If you use a mobile phone for a long time, you will need to wear glasses.
In my opinion, I think it's better not to allow students to use cellphones.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: As time goes by, more and more people have themselves cellphones.
correct_sentence: As time goes by, more and more people have their own cellphones.
error: themselves
correction: their own
error_type: Pronoun Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Pronoun Error: The pronoun 〈themselves〉 is incorrectly used as a reflexive pronoun and cannot express possession. According to the sentence's meaning, it intends to express “their own cellphones”, so it is changed to 『their own』.
error_sentence: That is influence of many students
some advantages are students used cellphone.
correct_sentence: That influences many students.

error: is influence of
correction: influences
error_type: Sentence Structure Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Sentence Structure Error: The original sentence 〈That is influence of many students〉 does not conform to English expression habits; it should be changed to 〈That influences...〉 to comply with grammatical rules.
error_sentence: That is influence of many students
some advantages are students used cellphone.
correct_sentence: That influences many students.
 Some advantages exist when students use cellphones.
error: 
some advantages are students used cellphone
correction: .
Some advantages exist when students use cellphones
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Punctuation Error: 〈That is influence of many students〉 and 〈some advantages are students used cellphone.〉 are two independent sentences; a period needs to be added between them; ② Sentence Structure Error: 〈some advantages are students used cellphone〉 lacks the necessary subject and predicate structure, leading to a sentence structure error and unclear meaning. It needs to be changed to 『Some advantages exist』 to make the sentence complete.
error_sentence: For one thing, everyone can learn to everywhere and also strengthen communication between parents and children.
correct_sentence: For one thing, everyone can learn anywhere and also strengthen communication between parents and children.
error: to everywhere
correction: anywhere
error_type: Adverb Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Adverb Error: 〈to everywhere〉 does not conform to adverbial phrase usage. Based on the sentence's meaning, 『anywhere』 should be used here as an adverb of place, without the preposition 〈to〉.
error_sentence: For another convenient the students learn from each other, everyone can become greatest.

correct_sentence: For another, it is convenient for students to learn from each other.
error: convenient the students
correction: , it is convenient for students to
error_type: Sentence Structure Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: Sentence Structure Error: The original sentence 〈For another convenient the students learn from each other〉 lacks the necessary subject and predicate structure, causing 〈convenient the students〉 to be semantically unclear, and according to English grammar rules, 〈For another〉 should be separated from the main clause components by a comma, so it should be changed to 『For another, it is convenient for students to learn from each other』.
error_sentence: For another convenient the students learn from each other, everyone can become greatest.

correct_sentence: For another, it is convenient for students to learn from each other. Everyone can improve greatly.

error: , everyone can become greatest
correction: . Everyone can improve greatly
error_type: Verb Choice Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Punctuation Error: According to English grammar rules, a comma cannot directly connect two independent main clauses; it should be changed to a period; ② Verb Choice Error: The original sentence 〈everyone can become greatest.〉 does not conform to English expression habits and is semantically illogical; it should be changed to 『Everyone can improve greatly』.
error_sentence: But students used cellphone have some disadvantages also.
correct_sentence: But students using cellphones also have some disadvantages.
error: used cellphone
correction: using cellphones also
error_type: Nonfinite Verb Form Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Nonfinite Verb Form Error: According to English grammar rules, the past participle 〈used〉 as a post-modifier here does not conform to grammatical rules; it should be changed to the present participle 『using』 to indicate an active relationship; ② Noun Number Error: Based on the context, this generally refers to ”using cellphones“, 〈cellphone〉 should be changed to the plural form 『cellphones』.
error_sentence: But students used cellphone have some disadvantages also.
correct_sentence: But students using cellphones also have some disadvantages.
error: also
error_type: Word Order Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Word Order Error: According to English grammar rules, the adverb 〈also〉 cannot be placed at the end of the sentence; it should be placed before the auxiliary verb 〈have〉.
error_sentence: First, people maybe not used cellphone study. He can play computer games on the phone.
correct_sentence: First, people may not use cellphones for studying. They can play computer games on the phone.
error: maybe not used cellphone study. He
correction: may not use cellphones for studying. They
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Auxiliary Error: According to English grammar rules, 〈maybe not〉 needs to be changed to 『may not』; ② Verb Choice Error: 〈used〉 needs to be changed to 『use』 to express the correct action form; ③ Nonfinite Verb Form Error: Based on the sentence's meaning, it intends to express “using cellphones for studying”, so the base verb 〈study〉 should be changed to 『for studying』; ④ Pronoun Error: Based on the context, 〈He〉 needs to be changed to 『They』 to maintain consistency with the preceding subject.
error_sentence: Secondly, cellphone is expensive, if break out flood, your parents are argument with you.
correct_sentence: Secondly, cellphones are expensive. If they break, your parents might argue with you.
error: cellphone is expensive, if break out flood
correction: cellphones are expensive. If they break
error_type: Sentence Structure Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: ① Noun Number Error: Based on the sentence's meaning, this generally refers to “cellphones”, 〈cellphone is〉 should be changed to the plural form 『cellphones are』; ② Punctuation Error: Two independent sentences should be connected by a period, so 〈expensive, if〉 is changed to 『expensive. If』; ③ Sentence Structure Error: 〈if break out flood〉 is semantically unclear; it needs to be changed to 『If they break』 to clarify the object of the action and the conditional relationship.
error_sentence: Secondly, cellphone is expensive, if break out flood, your parents are argument with you.
correct_sentence: If they break, your parents might argue with you.
error: are argument
correction: might argue
error_type: Verb Choice Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Choice Error: 〈are argument〉 confuses noun and verb usage; based on the context, it should be changed to the verb phrase 『might argue』, and a modal verb should be added to indicate possibility.
error_sentence: Thirdly, it is badly for your eyes.
correct_sentence: Thirdly, it is bad for your eyes.
error: badly
correction: bad
error_type: Adjective Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Adjective Error: The original sentence 〈it is badly for your eyes.〉 has a subject-copula-predicative structure; an adjective should be used as the predicative, not an adverb, so the adverb 〈badly〉 is changed to the adjective 『bad』 to correctly modify the noun 〈eyes〉.
error_sentence: ln my opinion.
correct_sentence: In my opinion, I think it's better not to allow students to use cellphones.
error: ln
correction: In
error_type: Case Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Case Error: According to English writing conventions, 〈ln〉 is at the beginning of the sentence, and the first letter needs to be capitalized, so it is changed to 『In』 to conform to correct spelling rules.
error_sentence: ln my opinion. l think it's better not allowed to students used cellphone
correct_sentence: In my opinion, I think it's better not to allow students to use cellphones.
error: . l
correction: , I
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English expression conventions, 〈ln my opinion〉 should be separated from the following sentence by a comma, so the period is changed to a comma.
error_sentence: l think it's better not allowed to students used cellphone
correct_sentence: In my opinion, I think it's better not to allow students to use cellphones.
error: allowed to students used cellphone
correction: to allow students to use cellphones.
error_type: Sentence Structure Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: Sentence Structure Error: The original phrase 〈allowed to students used cellphone〉 does not conform to English expression conventions; it should be changed to 『to allow students to use cellphones』 to make the sentence's meaning complete and clear.