Writing prompt: My First Trip

Student essay:
I remember,my first trip is very exciting.My parents with me went to X When I was seven.This was my firsttake plane.I always look out of plane.I think myself just like a bird I get X.The weather is hot.But TianJin is winter.This hotel is very good.I live is very comfultable. Every day,my parents with me to visit some famous place.It is very interesting.And we stayed here two weeks.
That is my first trip.And I think,I do not remember it.Beacuse X is very beautiful.I want to go to there again.

Corrected essay:
I remember my first trip was very exciting. My parents and I went to X when I was seven. This was my first time taking a plane. I always looked out of the plane. I thought of myself just like a bird. When I got to X, the weather was hot. But Tianjin was in winter. The hotel was very good. Where I stayed was very comfortable. Every day, my parents and I visited some famous places. It was very interesting. And we stayed there for two weeks.
That was my first trip. And I think I will never forget it because X is very beautiful. I want to go there again.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: I remember,my first trip is very exciting.
correct_sentence: I remember my first trip was very exciting.
error: ,
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English comma usage rules, a comma is not needed after 〈remember〉; the extra comma is deleted from 〈I remember,〉 to 『I remember my first trip』 to make the sentence smoother.
error_sentence: I remember,my first trip is very exciting.
correct_sentence: I remember my first trip was very exciting.
error: is
correction: was
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: Since the sentence describes a past memory, the main verb should be in the past tense. Therefore, the present tense 〈is〉 is changed to the past tense 『was』 to maintain tense consistency.
error_sentence: My parents with me went to X When I was seven.
correct_sentence: My parents and I went to X when I was seven.
error: with me
correction: and I
error_type: Conjunction Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Conjunction Error: The original sentence uses 〈with〉 to connect the subject, but this preposition cannot correctly express a coordinate relationship. According to English grammar rules, coordinate subjects should be connected by the conjunction 〈and〉, so 〈with me〉 is changed to 『and I』; ② Pronoun Error: In the subject position, the pronoun should be in the nominative case. The original phrase 〈with me〉 does not conform to English expression habits, so it is changed to 『and I』 to make the sentence structure more standard.
error_sentence: My parents with me went to X When I was seven.
correct_sentence: My parents and I went to X when I was seven.
error: When
correction: when
error_type: Case Error
error_severity: 1
error_description: Case Error: The initial letter of 〈When〉 in the adverbial clause of time does not need to be capitalized when it is in the middle of a sentence, so the capitalized form 〈When〉 is changed to lowercase 『when』 to comply with English writing conventions.
error_sentence: This was my firsttake plane.
correct_sentence: This was my first time taking a plane.
error: firsttake
correction: first time taking a
error_type: Nonfinite Verb Form Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Space Error: 〈firsttake〉 is an incorrect merged spelling; a space should be added between the words, changing it to 『first time taking』 to ensure correct spelling; ② Noun Error: The original sentence lacks the necessary noun 『time』, leading to an incomplete expression. It is supplemented to 『first time taking a』 to clearly express the meaning of "taking a plane for the first time"; ③ Nonfinite Verb Form Error: According to English expression conventions, 〈first time〉 should be followed by a gerund form, so the base form of the verb 〈take〉 is changed to 『taking』 to comply with English grammar rules; ④ Determiner Error: An indefinite article 『a』 should be added before the countable noun 〈plane〉 to comply with English article usage rules, making the expression more accurate.
error_sentence: I always look out of plane.
correct_sentence: I always looked out of the plane.
error: look
correction: looked
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: When describing a continuous action in the past, the past tense should be used. Therefore, the present tense 〈look〉 is changed to the past tense 『looked』 to ensure correct tense.
error_sentence: I always look out of plane.
correct_sentence: I always looked out of the plane.
correction: the
error_type: Determiner Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Determiner Error: According to English grammar rules, when specifically referring to a particular mode of transport (such as the plane taken on a specific occasion), the definite article is required. Therefore, 『the』 is added before 〈plane〉, forming the correct expression 『the plane』.
error_sentence: I think myself just like a bird I get X.The weather is hot.
correct_sentence: I thought of myself just like a bird.
error: think
correction: thought of
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Verb Tense Error: The original verb 〈think〉 is in the present tense, but the context describes a past event. According to the principle of tense consistency, it should be changed to the past tense 『thought of』 to make the narrative logically coherent; ② Preposition Error: When expressing "to consider oneself as...", the English fixed phrase is 『thought of...as...』, not just using 〈think〉. Therefore, it is corrected to 『thought of』 to conform to idiomatic expression.
error_sentence: I think myself just like a bird I get X.The weather is hot.
correct_sentence: I thought of myself just like a bird. When I got to X, the weather was hot.
error: I get X.The weather is
correction: . When I got to X, the weather was
error_type: Conjunction Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Punctuation Error: According to English sentence structure rules, a period is needed to separate the two independent clauses 〈just like a bird〉 and 〈I get X〉 to conform to the writing conventions for complete sentences. At the same time, a comma is needed to connect the adverbial clause of time with the main clause, so the original sentence structure is changed to 『I thought of myself just like a bird. When I got to X, the weather was』; ② Conjunction Error: To clarify the temporal logical relationship, the temporal conjunction 『When』 is added at the beginning of the clause to make the sentence structure more complete; the original sentence lacked a subordinating conjunction, leading to unclear logic; ③ Verb Tense Error: The entire passage is a narrative set in a past time frame; the present tense 〈get〉 is changed to the past tense 『got』 (describing an action that has already occurred), and the present tense 〈is〉 is changed to the past tense 『was』 to maintain tense consistency, conforming to the past time context of the described events; ④ Case Error: According to English expression conventions, the non-proper noun and non-sentence-initial word 〈The〉 in the sentence is changed to lowercase 『the』 to comply with English in-sentence capitalization rules.
error_sentence: But TianJin is winter.
correct_sentence: But Tianjin was in winter.
error: TianJin is
correction: Tianjin was in
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Case Error: According to English expression conventions, the spelling of the proper noun (city name) 〈TianJin〉 is non-standard and should be changed to the standard form 『Tianjin』; ② Verb Tense Error: The original verb 〈is〉 is in the present tense, but the context is a past narrative. Based on the time frame, it is changed to the past tense 『was』 to maintain tense uniformity; ③ Preposition Error: According to English expression conventions, when indicating seasons, English grammar requires the addition of the preposition 〈in〉. Therefore, 『in winter』 is added to form a complete adverbial of time.
error_sentence: This hotel is very good.
correct_sentence: The hotel was very good.
error: This hotel is
correction: The hotel was
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Determiner Error: According to English expression conventions, since a specific hotel was not mentioned previously, using the definite article 〈The〉 (indicating specific reference) does not fit the context. It is changed to the demonstrative pronoun 『This』 to introduce new information more naturally; ② Verb Tense Error: The original verb 〈is〉 is in the present tense, but the context is a past narrative. Based on the time frame, it is changed to the past tense 『was』 to maintain tense uniformity.
error_sentence: I live is very comfultable.
correct_sentence: Where I stayed was very comfortable.
error: I live is very comfultable
correction: Where I stayed was very comfortable
error_type: Sentence Structure Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Sentence Structure Error: The original sentence's subject-verb structure is incomplete; according to English grammar rules, 〈I live〉 needs to be optimized to 『Where I stayed』 to refer to a specific place, clearly indicating the place of accommodation; ② Verb Choice Error: According to the semantics, this should be a short-term stay (travel accommodation), not long-term residence. Therefore, 〈live〉 is changed to 『stayed』 to make the expression more accurate; ③ Spelling Error: 〈comfultable〉 is a misspelling; the correct form is 『comfortable』, meaning "comfortable," corrected to comply with English vocabulary standards.
error_sentence: Every day,my parents with me to visit some famous place.
correct_sentence: Every day, my parents and I visited some famous places.
error: with me to visit
correction: and I visited
error_type: Conjunction Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Conjunction Error: The original sentence uses 〈with〉 to connect the subject, but this preposition cannot correctly express a coordinate relationship. According to English grammar rules, coordinate subjects should be connected by the conjunction 〈and〉, so 〈with me〉 is changed to 『and I』; ② Pronoun Error: In the subject position, the pronoun should be in the nominative case. The original phrase 〈with me〉 does not conform to English expression habits, so it is changed to 『and I』 to make the sentence structure more standard; ③ Nonfinite Verb Form Error: The original sentence uses the infinitive 〈to visit〉, resulting in an incomplete structure. According to the context tense, it is changed to the past tense verb 『visited』, the original sentence becomes 『my parents and I visited』, making the narrative coherent and unified.
error_sentence: Every day,my parents with me to visit some famous place.
correct_sentence: Every day, my parents and I visited some famous places.
error: place
correction: places
error_type: Noun Number Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Noun Number Error: According to English grammar rules, when the indefinite pronoun 〈some〉 modifies a countable noun, it must be followed by the plural form, so the singular noun 〈place〉 is changed to the plural form 『places』, forming the correct collocation 『some places』 to indicate multiple locations, conforming to semantic requirements.
error_sentence: It is very interesting.
correct_sentence: It was very interesting.
error: is
correction: was
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: Because the context describes past events, tense consistency needs to be maintained. The original present tense 〈is〉 does not match the past context, so it is changed to the past tense 『was』 to conform to narrative logic.
error_sentence: And we stayed here two weeks.

correct_sentence: And we stayed there for two weeks.

error: here
correction: there for
error_type: Pronoun Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Pronoun Error: When referring to a previously mentioned location, English convention uses 『there』 rather than 〈here〉 (the latter refers to the speaker's current location). Therefore, 〈here〉 is corrected to 『there』 to ensure accurate reference; ② Preposition Error: When expressing duration, English requires the use of the preposition 〈for〉 to connect the period of time. The original sentence lacks this preposition, so 『for』 is added to comply with grammar rules, changing it to 『for two weeks.』.
error_sentence: That is my first trip.
correct_sentence: That was my first trip.
error: is
correction: was
error_type: Verb Tense Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: Verb Tense Error: Because the context describes past events, tense consistency needs to be maintained. The original present tense 〈is〉 does not match the past context, so it is changed to the past tense 『was』 to conform to narrative logic.
error_sentence: And I think,I do not remember it. Beacuse X is very beautiful.
correct_sentence: And I think I will never forget it because X is very beautiful.
error: ,I do not remember it.Beacuse
correction: I will never forget it because
error_type: Sentence Structure Error
error_severity: 5
error_description: ① Punctuation Error: In English, verbs expressing mental activity such as 〈think〉 are usually not followed by a comma, so 〈,〉 is deleted to avoid an incorrect pause; the original 〈.Beacuse〉 contains an extra period, causing the sentence to be fragmented. According to English compound sentence rules, the period is deleted and the initial letter is lowercased, changing it to 『because』, so that the cause clause correctly connects with the main clause; ② Sentence Structure Error: The original phrase 〈I do not remember〉 contradicts the subsequent semantics emphasizing a strong memory. According to the context, it is changed to 『I will never forget』 to maintain logical consistency; ③ Spelling Error: 〈Beacuse〉 is a misspelling; the correct form is 『because』, meaning "because," and needs to be corrected; ④ Case Error: The initial letter of 〈Beacuse〉 in the sentence should not be capitalized (unless at the beginning of a sentence), changed to lowercase 『because』 to comply with English writing conventions.
error_sentence: I want to go to there again.
correct_sentence: I want to go there again.
error: to
error_type: Preposition Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Preposition Error: When 〈there〉 is used as an adverb of place, the verb 〈go〉 does not require the preposition 〈to〉 after it. Therefore, the redundant preposition is deleted, changing 〈go to there〉 to the correct form 『go there』 to conform to English expression habits.