Writing prompt: Written Expression. Assume you are Lin Chen and have just made a new pen pal named Ted. Please write a letter to him describing your personal background, family situation, and your plan to visit Beijing over the summer. Writing hints: Tian'anmen Square, the Palace Museum, Beijing Roast Duck.
Dear Ted,
________
Welcome to China. Have a good day!
Yours,
Lin Chen

Student essay:
Hi, I'm Lin Chen. I'm 11. I have a brother, he's 8. My father is a coach. My mother is a teacher. We're going to Beijing. First, we are going to visit the Palace Museum, then weare going to the Tian'anmen Square. We're going to eat the Beijing Roast Duck, that's yum.

Corrected essay:
Hi, I'm Lin Chen. I'm 11. I have a brother. He's 8. My father is a coach. My mother is a teacher. We're going to Beijing. First, we are going to visit the Palace Museum, and then we are going to Tian'anmen Square. We're going to eat Beijing Roast Duck. That's yummy.

Error analysis:
error_sentence: I have a brother, he's 8.
correct_sentence: I have a brother. He's 8.
error: , he
correction: . He
error_type: Punctuation Error
error_severity: 2
error_description: Punctuation Error: According to English grammar rules, “I have a brother” and “he's 8” are two independent clauses and cannot be connected only by a comma. Using a comma in the original sentence creates sentence structure confusion. 〈, he〉 should be changed to 『. He』, using a period to separate the two independent clauses for correct sentence structure.
error_sentence: First, we are going to visit the Palace Museum, then weare going to the Tian'anmen Square.
correct_sentence: First, we are going to visit the Palace Museum, and then we are going to Tian'anmen Square.
error: then weare
correction: and then we are
error_type: Conjunction Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: ① Conjunction Error: According to English grammar rules, when describing a sequence of multiple actions, the conjunction 〈and〉 is needed to connect them, to reflect the continuity of actions. The original sentence lacks the conjunction 〈and〉 between the actions “visit the Palace Museum” and “go to Tian'anmen Square”. 『and』 should be added before 〈then〉 to make the sentence structure complete and coherent; ② Space Error: In the original sentence, “weare” is a spelling error due to a missing necessary space. The correct form should be “we are”; a space needs to be added and the verb completed to make the expression conform to English writing norms.
error_sentence: First, we are going to visit the Palace Museum, then weare going to the Tian'anmen Square.
correct_sentence: First, we are going to visit the Palace Museum, and then we are going to Tian'anmen Square.
error: the
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: Word Redundancy Error: According to English grammar rules, the proper noun 〈Tian'anmen Square〉, as a specific place name, does not require the definite article 〈the〉 before it. The original sentence redundantly uses the definite article 〈the〉, which does not conform to grammatical conventions. The redundant 〈the〉 should be deleted to make the expression meet English grammar requirements.
error_sentence: We're going to eat the Beijing Roast Duck, that's yum.
correct_sentence: We're going to eat Beijing Roast Duck.
error: the
error_type: Word Redundancy Error
error_severity: 4
error_description: Word Redundancy Error: According to English grammar rules, “Beijing Roast Duck”, as a proper noun referring to a specific dish, does not require the definite article 〈the〉 before it. The use of 〈the〉 in the original sentence is redundant. The redundant 〈the〉 should be deleted to make the expression meet English grammar requirements.
error_sentence: We're going to eat the Beijing Roast Duck, that's yum.
correct_sentence: We're going to eat Beijing Roast Duck. That's yummy.
error: , that's yum
correction: . That's yummy
error_type: Adjective Error
error_severity: 3
error_description: ① Punctuation Error: According to English grammar rules, “We're going to eat the Beijing Roast Duck” and “that's yum” are two independent clauses and cannot be connected only by a comma. Using a comma in the original sentence creates sentence structure confusion. 〈, that's yum〉 should be changed to 『. That's yummy』, using a period to separate the two independent clauses for correct sentence structure; ② Adjective Error: In the original sentence, “yum” is a colloquial expression. In written language, the more formal and grammatically standard adjective is “yummy”. 〈yum〉 should be changed to 『yummy』 to make the expression more suitable for written expression habits.