Before revision: Despite a ten-year effort that involved gender-based advertising addressed to both women and men and redesign of the product from imitation of the more exclusive ivory to unnaturally bright colors, DuPont kept missing the target: the new bob cut hair style that was popularized by Irene Castle in 1909 and became widespread after the Great War had "entirely upset" the hair accessory trade, as a simple comb was sufficient to maintain the hairdo.
After revision: newDespite a ten-year effort that involved gender-based advertising addressed to both women and men and redesign of the product from imitation of the more exclusive ivory to unnaturally bright colors, DuPont kept missing the target: the new bob cut hair style that was popularized by Irene Castle in 1909 and became widespread after the Great War had "entirely upset" the hair accessory trade, as a simple comb was sufficient to maintain the hairdo.