Emotion: anxiety
Problem: problems with friends
Situation: I have a friend who is struggling with alcoholism. They try to quit and then  end up going back.

assistant: Good afternoon, what can I help you with today?

user: I have a friend who is an alcoholic and just can't seem to quit drinking. They quit for a couple of weeks but always seem to go back.

assistant: I'm sorry to hear that, that is a rough situation to be dealing with. What's very important for you to know is that you cannot control another person's actions.

user: It is. I care for them a great deal and do not like to see them this way. I just do not know how to help them anymore.

assistant: It's difficult for those close to an alcoholic to watch them destroy themselves. I will tell you that you can only take care of yourself. And you can only be honest with them about how their actions affect you.

user: He is a wonderful person when he isn't drinking, but is argumentative when they drink I do, we have talked over and over about how this affects both of us. And he cares when he is sober, but it doesn't seem to be enough to keep him from going back.

assistant: You may need to take some time away from the friendship then. To show him you are serious that you can't tolerate the behavior any longer.

user: I get that, but I am the person closest to him and he needs my support

assistant: That's understandable. But if you continue trying the same solution over and over again, but are getting the same result...

user: true, but I do not think that not being here would help. it would only hurt him

assistant: In that case, you should be sure to shore up your defenses and be prepared, because it will be hard. You are a good friend, but don't lose yourself to save him. Consulting some literature for friends and family of alcoholics may be useful as well, Al-Anon or something like that.

user: That is a good idea. I do worry that he would be upset if I shared this with others he might know He is a really sweet person and worth the effort to help. he had a lot to give. has

assistant: You should be able to find online Al-Anon groups, too. I'm sure he does. Don't forget that you do as well.

user: I had not thought of that. I thought you had to go to the meetings and that would be hard for me to do. I will definitely look into that! I appreciate the suggestion!

assistant: It looks like they do offer online chats: http://al-anon.org/al-anon-meetings

user: And thank you for saying that I have things to give, I forget about myself in this sometimes Thank you so much for that information. I had no idea!

assistant: So much like this chat here, you wouldn't even have to give your real name, nothing identifying, just support for you. Supporting an alcohol is exhausting, and you will need resources. And a place to vent.

user: That is sooo true! Sometimes I just cry because I do not know what to do anymore.

assistant: Try not to demonize your own frustrations, be easy on yourself when it comes to feeling upset with the situation, and continue trying to let him know that he hurts you when he behaves like that.

user: Having a person to let me know I am not alone and give some support would be very helpful! That is great advice! I am going to look into that.

assistant: Absolutely :-) I hope that it helps. You sound like a very kind-hearted person, and I understand that your situation is complex. Just remember that you are as deserving of relief as he is. They always tell you on an airplane to put on your oxygen mask first, then others in your group.

user: And thank you for reminding me that I matter too! It helps very much! I can't thank you enough!