Emotion: anger
Problem: problems with friends
Situation: I asked my friend if she would go to the store with me because I was feeling down and overwhelmed with kids. She said she was too tired so she would have to pass this time. I was angry because I always support her when she is down or needs it. When I need it, she is nowhere to be seen. It's okay I guess for her to be depressed, but no one else can, because she has already monopolized that emotion. How can you ask someone for help when you are feeling depressed when they are depressed themselves?

assistant: Hi how are you doing today?

user: I am feeling very upset because of my situation.

assistant: would you like to tell me more about it?

user: Yes. My friend, M, is my oldest friend and knows me the best. If I can't turn to her for help, then who can I turn to?

assistant: Why do you feel you can't turn to your friend?

user: She is always so depressed herself. She is too tired, she is too sad, she is too frustrated. Everyone has hard lives, but we all do our best to deal with it. I have a child with special needs and I need help too, but she never thinks to ask about me and see if I am not doing okay

assistant: I am sorry to hear that sounds like she sure could use some help as well. Have you tried first taking about her issues and then telling her about yours?

user: I talk about her issues constantly. I guess I could do a better job about letting her know when I am feeling down. I just ask her to do things with me instead, but maybe she just takes it at face value. Literally everytime we talk though, it's about her problems. But she never does anything to try and fix them.

assistant: I am sorry to her that, so it sounds like you feel you need to give her help but you dont get any from her. But is also sounds like she might not be aware of you needing help.

user: Yes, exactly. It would be nice if I didn't have to explicitly spell it out. It makes it seem less meaningful when I have to spoonfeed to her what is wrong and what I need her to do for me.

assistant: I think you need to try to tell her about your problems, and maybe even if she feels like she is helping you she is more inclined to help herself some too?

user: That's true, I didn't think about that really. Helping others def can help to take the focus off of yourself.

assistant: I know, it would be nice of her to ask how are you? But maybe she thinks you are a very strong person that does not need help since you do not voice it.?

user: Yeah, that is true. I guess I am not looking at it from her persepctive.

assistant: Yes the feeling that you help someone can be uplifting and good for anyones ego

user: Should I tell her that I am frustrated with her lack of helping me or just try to put that behind me? What is a good way to broach that I need help. Like I guess I don't know how to bring it up organically in a conversation

assistant: I would try to find a conversation and then tell her like sometimes I could use help with whatever and then tell her that you feel lonely and need her sometimes as well

user: Okay, I can try that. I guess I get so caught up in the frustration and my expectations of her, that I don't give it a chance.

assistant: Give it a try and you are not alone as you see we had a nice conversation.