Emotion: sadness
Problem: breakup with partner
Situation: I don't love my partner any more and I don't know what to do for the best as she really loves me but it's not working.

assistant: Hello! How are you doing today?

user: I've been better to be honest. I think I need to break up with my girlfriend but she moved in last year and I don;' know how to approach it. I think I'm going to be in for a bad emotional time

assistant: That seems like a tough situation! What feelings made you decide you need to breakup with her?

user: It's a bit of a mix. I don't find her attractive that much any more and I think that's important. Also since moving in she is difficult to live with. I can't see myself with her long term.

assistant: I completely understand that. I recently broke up with my boyfriend earlier this year, because I didn't feel like I loved him as much as I used to. Things like that are important! How long have you guys been together?

user: It's good that you have had a similar experience and understand what I'm going through. We dated for a while. The thing is she is Italian and has moved countries to live with me. I feel so bad that this has happened.

assistant: Oh I see. That's a huge step to make in a relationship. So you are hesitant to break up with her because she moved just to be with you? Have you communicated with her about your concerns? Such as being difficult to live with?

user: Yes that's right, I helped her get a job and thought I'd just see how it goes. Her family loves me and thinks I'm great which makes this even more difficult. We have talked about things yes but she sees it as a bit of a joke I think.

assistant: I think it's great that we got matched up, because I went through also the exact same situation. My boyfriend and I were long distance, and he moved across the country to be closer to me. So when I felt like we needed to break up, I was experiencing similar guilt that you are experiencing.

user: It's great that you understand this. I think being the man puts more pressure on me to look after her and make sure she she's safe etc

assistant: I want to reassure you, that doing what's best for you is what is most important! Your partner will understand this if they truly care for you. Things will be tough for a while, but you both will be able to grow from this experience. And just because you don't want to be in a relationship anymore, doesn't mean that you don't care about her! Staying friends after the fact might take the pressure off of you a little bit. You can still help her out and be there for each other, but as friends instead of partner's.

user: To be honest, it's amazing that you have suggested this. It's really hard to balance my needs and feelings without breaking her heart. It's hard for the person that's dumped but actually I think it is equally hard for the dumper!

assistant: Yes exactly! It's so difficult for the dumper as well, because of course you still have strong feelings for this person. They just aren't romantic anymore. And that is okay. You don't need to feel guilty for things that you can't control. You can still be there for her without pretending to be in love

user: That's exactly it. So do you think I should just talk to her and tell her how I feel? The thing is it's not like she can move out immediately. It's going to be a long drawn out experience.

assistant: I think talking to her and being transparent about your feelings is definitely the right move. In doing this, reassure her you still want to be friends and you aren't just "kicking her to the curb." Things will obviously be awkward for the first little bit, because continuing to live together will bring it's own difficulties. But the beautiful thing about that is, you guys are already used to it. :) So it's only hard if you make it hard

user: Yes, I think I need to emphasize the friends element of it and potentially support her to move on. I suppose I'm fearful that it will never end but I'll need to face into that and stay strong, and obviously avoid being intimate as this would really hurt her if I continued to sleep with her. I need to be careful about that I think!

assistant: Yes exactly. And from chatting with you, I can tell that you are a very caring person. You don't want to hurt her. I believe that you have the understanding of the situation, and you know what you should and shouldn't do in order to make it work. The hard part is simply getting the courage to finally discuss it. But I think you are going to be able to do that just fine!

user: I must say, you have been fantastic to talk to about this, we have had a similar experience so I think the advice is coming from experience. Thanks for that!

assistant: What I've gathered about you as a person, makes me confident that you probably chose a partner that will be able to have this talk with you and you both will come to an understanding. Yes I think it's very great we were able to connect on our issues! It definitely helps. You are welcome! :)

user: Thank you for a great conversation. To continue as is wouldn't be fair on her and I see that now.

assistant: Of course! And it wouldn't be fair to her, just as much as it wouldn't be fair to you. Your happiness is just as important!

user: Yeah, I need to put myself first but also be considerate of her feelings. Thanks for that Take care and enjoy your day.