Emotion: depression
Problem: job crisis
Situation: I just feel very alone at work lately. I don’t feel like anyone at work really likes me and no one ever really talks to me or invites me to hang out with them anymore.

user: Hi. I’m feeling really depressed lately

assistant: I'm sorry to hear this. Is there something specifically bothering you?

user: I just feel like no one I work with really likes me or cares about me

assistant: You don't think people like you or care about you at work? What specifically have they done to make you think this?

user: I just feel like no one talks to me and if I try and talk to them they are very dismissive

assistant: I can understand that might make you feel uncomfortable.

user: I feel like I go out of my way to help people and I remember their birthdays and I try and be nice to them but no one ever does the same for me

assistant: I have been in many work situations and even social situations where I did not feel as if I fit in, I'm rather an unusual person. I had to learn to not focus so much on BEING accepted. I had to learn what God think of me (he loves me) and try to be kind to all I meet, other centered. That is, I also had to make sure I wasn't being rude or mean. I can understand how hurtful that is. Our society isn't as kind as it once was. I find very few people appreciate kindness. However, I can't get caught up in that, it's the way people are. It isn't a reflection of myself. I think it is the hardest thing to be more concerned with others than we are with ourselves, it can be lonely.

user: I think from now on I’m just going to focus on myself and my family, I’m not gonna out of my way to be nice to my coworkers, I’m just going to treat them as coworkers not as friends and just keep to myself

assistant: I think you can be kind to them, but I think perhaps your expectations are that they reciprocate, and they aren't which hurts. Perhaps be kind without expecting anything in return, and know that God sees your kindness.

user: I always feel like you have to be a friend to have friends, but I’m tired of being the only one putting effort in and getting taken advantage of

assistant: I also had this happen, I had no friends and at first I thought it was me, then I realized it was an opportunity for personal growth. Which wasn't easy. How do you feel they take advantage? Being ignored is one thing, having someone take advantage of you is a different story.

user: I just feel like they just expect me to do things for them now and when I do it, it’s no appreciated because they just know I will do it.

assistant: I understand. Yes, then they definitely are taking advantage. Have you read anything on setting boundaries and learning how to say no?

user: Yeah, I’m working on taking care of myself more than worrying about everyone else. I think the holidays make it even harder to set the boundaries

assistant: I had learned once that it is so important to be able to easily say no because then we are free to say yes. Because if we say yes because we CAN'T say no, then we feel resentful. So If I can freely say no to you, then i am free to say yes, if that makes sense. Although for me, it was hard to say no, but it gets easier, now it is easy. It wasn't at first.

user: Thank you! You have been very helpful. I think that will be my goal! Start learning to say no and don’t feel guilty about it. I think I am going to lower my expectations from other people and just start treating people as they treat me!

assistant: If I always say yes, because I can't say no, I feel obligated and resentful, when really, it's me with the problem, I had a hard time saying no because I didn't want to hurt people. Now, I do the right thing in my heart, if I want to help, I help, if I want to say no, I say no even if it is hard, I don't care if they get upset. I can say no, that's true freedom. I don't advise treating people the way they treat you though. I would remain a kind person. Be the person you are no matter what type of person they are. You have to stand before God one day. If they are ugly, that's on them. But you want to be a kind person. That's the right thing, and you CAN be kind and say no. Those two are fine together! :D I suggest a book called "Bounderies" one of the authors is Townsend -- great book.

user: I think I just need to learn a new approach to how I handle my dealings with other people.

assistant: Might be on youtube too. Good stuff on how to say no and set boundaries! :D I think you have identified your problem and looked at it and you seem intelligent and caring! I'm sure you will be able to figure this out. You seem like a nice person to me, and I just met you. You seem emotionally mature, able to discuss your problems and think about it in a mature way. A lot of people will just blame others and not change. We can't change others, we can only change ourselves. That's the hard part but recognizing we can change and must is so important!

user: Thanks for your help