Emotion: anger
Problem: job crisis
Situation: Had to work till 11pm and up early the next morning. No emotional support and completely drained of all energy. Have no desire to continue with the job, but need to get paid.

assistant: Hi! How are you tonight?

user: Im ok - tired. Yourself.

assistant: I'm doing fairly well, Thanks. Can I encourage you or support you in some way?

user: Yes - definitely. I am not sure how to proceed or what to do in my situation. I am exhausted, mentally and physically.

assistant: You sound as if you are in a slump. I've been there. Perhaps defining the problem and some solutions can help?

user: Perhaps - i dont know the solution. the problem is I cannot continue to work these hours - it is just not sustainable.

assistant: What are your hours?

user: like generally, or currently in these situations? usually its around 9-5 (give or take). These days its 9 - 7 or 11pm or later.

assistant: I have to say, when I am physically and mentally exhausted, I don't think as clearly and lose hope more easily.

user: right, and that is the issue of where I am at.

assistant: 9 to 11 would exhaust me. That is 14 hours?

user: yeah - something like that. and lunches are at the desk - as i am working from home - so its pretty much no breaks either.

assistant: I would certainly agree with you. That kind of work is unsustainable. Let me ask you this. What would happen if you told your employer you simply could not do these hours?

user: hah - i dunno. im on a team of 2 people - and i guess if i dont do it, the other person has to. or it just doesnt get done, and i dont know what happens?? nothing? LOL.

assistant: The worst that could happen is that they fire you. But that doesn't seem too likely as they seem to need you. But I have learned in life that if I don't care for myself, hardly anyone does. We need to be kind to ourselves. Set boundaries.

user: agreed - i dont think they would fire me, maybe get reprimanded or more likely a guilt trip as to why I cant do it. Im just not sure what kind of boundaries I set when we have things due, and just literally no time.

assistant: Setting boundaries can be difficult if you haven't done that a lot. When we think we don't have the ability to say NO, then we feel trapped, worn out, depressed, taken advantage of. People need to know that we reasonably can say no.

user: Well, I have to set boundaries, because working till 11pm most nights is not sustainable. and who on earth is going to view, let alone sign a contract at 12am

assistant: I think that would be the first step. Determine how many hours you feel you COULD work. Then advise them that is what you will do. Find out what kind of timelines there are, and if you can't do it, don't go beyond your boundaries. It is obviously destroying your life. It really isn't healthy for you. Exactly. It isn't working for you. Something has to change. And you sound intelligent, so you can determine what will work for you -- perhaps a range of hours, but definitely not 14 hours. Unless you are a young kid. lol Even then, that's a lot.

user: yeah - ill come up with reasonable boundaries till 5:30 is reasonable, and if its a do or die situation cap it at 7:30 --- and thats only for dire situations. if that doesnt work, well then i guess either i dont have a job, or people figure out how to work in regular hours.

assistant: That sounds reasonable to me. And if they try to make you feel guilty, reject that. Tell them, I'm sorry, but I feel this is reasonable, and truly it is.

user: hah i used to go out like a young kid, but still - just because most of us are working from home 24/7, doesnt mean I actually can work 24/7. even fi i were young, hell no. they dont pay me enough. thanks i really appreciate it. it sounds reasonable, and its what a coworker told me. if i dont set boundaries, i will crack.

assistant: No one can work 24/7. I think they may not even be aware you are struggling. So communication is important. You don't want to crack. It's not worth it.

user: yeah, i think a call to not just my boss is in order, but also HR to advise them of the situation. they need to start telling managers, we are NOT front of the line workers, nor police, fire, etc. our jobs are not THAT important.

assistant: I will say a prayer that you communicate your needs politely but firmly. And not believe false guilt. As you said, you aren't putting out fires and doing CPR.

user: plus netflix, hulu, amazon keep releasing new shows. if i need a reason, it can simply be to watch tv and detox (so to speak) and get away from the BS of work (obv stating it more nicely than that).

assistant: This has been a stressful year for many of us, you don't need to be working yourself into depression and exhaustion. You really do not NEED a reason not to work unreasonable hours.

user: agreed 100% --- ive already hit those points, and it is not good for anyone let alone my job.

assistant: It isn't anyone's business what you do on your off hours.

user: completely agreed! and thanks for listening :)

assistant: I do suggest you simply stick to the facts. These are the hours, I can't work more. You don't need to explain that to anyone. But be firm and polite. And you are very welcome. Sometimes we just need a friend! :D

user: its what i needed to hear from someone who is more anonymous (so to speak). who doesnt have a first hand attachment to me, so its a great assessment.

assistant: I've been in that boat before. It isn't easy, but I learned what I had to do, and I don't get in that boat anymore. And I can see to help others get out.

user: :-) firm and direct is the best approach. esp for my boss. she will appreciate that and then i will stick to what i say!

assistant: Amen! GREAT! I'm glad to hear it!

user: cheers! take care and have a great day. if you dont do this in your day job, you should consider it. or at least i get the feeling youre there for others