Emotion: depression
Problem: ongoing depression
Situation: I have dealt with depression around this time of the year since i was 17.  I am now 37.  My cousin got killed in a car accident on Dec 29th  at the age of 14.  Then 18 years later on Jan 3rd I lost my boyfriend in a car accident.  I struggle around the holidays even worse now than I  did before.

assistant: Hi there, how are you?

user: I am doing ok. How are you?

assistant: I'm doing well, thanks for asking. What are you seeking support for today?

user: I have been struggling for motivation to do anything the past couple weeks. This is a really hard time of year for me. I lost my cousin in a car accident at the age of 14 in a car accident coming up on 20 years this year. We were very close. I was 17 at the time. Her was an alcoholic and my parents raised her a majority of her life. Then 3 years ago 5 days after her death anniversary I lost my boyfriend at the age of 32 in a car accident. I dread the holidays.

assistant: Thank you for sharing that. It sounds like you are describing a strong association between the holiday season and loss of loved ones. This leads to less of a desire to engage in typical holiday events. Does that sound right?

user: You are exactly right. The year my cousin got killed her mom was hungover so I went and picked up my cousin and her little brother to take them to our grandparents house for Christmas dinner. She died 4 days later on Dec 29th. And my boyfriend it was his first day back to work after the New Year. He died on Jan 3rd. I usually go all out for the holidays to try to hide my depression every year. This year I just can't bring myself to enjoy them. I have even bought one christmas present.

assistant: I can see why this time of year is difficult for you. Trying to hide depression can be a challenge. Rather than hiding the sadness or grieving feelings, some people find relief in acknowledging and sharing these feelings with family members who may relate. Do you ever share these feelings with your cousin or grandparents that you mentioned?

user: My cousin doesn't live around here and we have never been real close. He is alot younger than me. We just never had the connection like his sister and I did. And both my grandparents have passed away. Grandpa has been gone for 12 years and Grandma has been gone for 4 now. My family has always been really good about talking about our loses. Things just will never be the same.

assistant: I understand. When losses are experienced it is a great change in many aspects of our lives. Are there any aspects of the holidays that bring you joy? Maybe holiday music, movies, bright snow (if there is snow where you live), or seeing joy on someone's face when you give them a great gift?

user: They say it gets easier. And I agree it does. Things just have changed so much. I miss how life was before I lost them.

assistant: I understand - and it is normal to feel that way. When we lose someone who brought us happiness, it is only natural to miss them and their company.

user: I love giving gifts. And I always put lots of thought into the gifts I give. My nieces and nephews can't wait every year to see what I got them.

assistant: That's great! You must have a special talent for personalizing your gift selections. Perhaps focus on that reaction from you nieces and nephews to support your motivation for giving gifts this year.

user: This year I am tie dying hooded sweatshirts. I make tshirts for a hobby. And to tell you the truth thats the only gifts I have gotten so far. My oldest daughter turned 18 this year and lives with her boyfriend so its just me and my 15 year old daughter. She struggles with depression/anxiety as well. Her dad has been in jail for some stupid actions since August. She has had to deal with him being an addict pretty much her whole life. I think we are both missing how the holidays were with her sister still living at home. Too much change in our lives in such a little time frame.

assistant: Wow, what a great gift idea! That is a solid start on your gifts for the season, and something to be proud of.

user: They will love them. A couple years ago I put their names on fleece blankets when I worked at an embroidery shop. They absolutly loved them!

assistant: And I see, it sounds like the changes in your life are potentially impacting your daughter as well. However, I'm glad you have each other for support this season. This year has been crazy for many reasons, and many people tend to find comfort in routines or traditions. Do you and your daughters have any holiday traditions you typically complete? Awesome gift idea! Personalized gifts are always so heartfelt and appreciated. Good thinking!