Emotion: shame
Problem: breakup with partner
Situation: I think my girlfriend may be cheating on me but I'm too scared to do anything about it as I don't want her to leave me. I feel ashamed of myself but I can't help it

user: Hello

assistant: Good Afternoon How are you doing troday?

user: I am Ok thanks but have an unusual issue. I think my girlfriend may be cheating on me but I'm too scared to do anything about it as I don't want her to leave me. I feel ashamed of myself but I can't help it

assistant: Being in a relationship with someone when you suspect unfaithful behavior is a rough thing to go through.

user: Yes it is but I should be leaving her and moving on. Problem is she is a 9 and I'm a 5 and I love her. Pretty sure she is cheating though so hopefully if I ignore it she may just leave things as they are.

assistant: I've dealt with the same problem with my partner more than once. I love him very much and I found him to be a 9 to my 5 as well. However, the question of whether he was cheating or not was destroying my trust in him and everyone else not to mention what self-respect I had... I had to break down and talk to him about it

user: What happened out of interest when you had the conversation?

assistant: Ignoring this will NOT help things. There is NO relief in pretending a question or concern does not exist. Like I said the question has arisen more than once. The first time he owned to talking to other women, but nothing more. Since that time, he denies everything.

user: I know. I'm a typical man and I like the feeling when she is on my arm. I feel like the cat that has got the cream. It's superficial and sad I know. I knew this would never last. She is just too attractive for me. Everyone told me Iwas 'punching above my weight' and now they will all be laughing if it ends.

assistant: Honestly, its not anyone else's business. IF you're suspicions are in fact correct, then you've got to see that a loving and faithful 5 is better than a heart-breaking 10. However should you find that maybe the devils of insecurities are tricking you into thinking that she's cheating, then remember that what the two of you share o=is FOR THE TWO of you. Its a relationship, not a community project! Even mu advice, albeit in the air to help you best I can. is not more important that what matters most to YOU and HER! Curiously, why do you think she's cheating?

user: I'm almost certain of it, she is super protective of her phone and never used to be. She is always texting and vague when I ask who she is messaging. She goes away with work and when she does she rarely messages me. Recently she said when was going way for a work trip for three nights but when I called her office her colleague said they got back after two.

assistant: Hmm... So have you two live together? How long has this kind of behavior persisted? When you ask her about this behavior, how do you present the question and how does she react? Finally, how often do you talk with her about the situation?

user: That's just it. I kind of know she is cheating but I haven't approached it with her because I'm scared see will just leave and I'll be a laughing stock. I suppose I'm a joke either way!

assistant: Don't get me wrong, I completely understand why you have suspicions. Really I think anyone would in the same shoes... However, as humans, we tend to either assume the best or the worst of others. There's always a margin of error present as a variable in such situations.

user: very true. I suppose I have just assumed at this stage with no real evidence. do you think I should just talk to her?

assistant: Forgive me if this comes off as disrespectful... I only want to help you.

user: not at all. I appreciate your candour.

assistant: But if you feel as though you're a joke regardless, then why stay in a relationship where you're getting hurt? I know that you don't want to lose the beauty but would you not be happier with loyalty?

user: All this is tied up with who and I know I'm valuing the wrong things. You are right actually. I think some of this comes from my low self-esteem. having a 9 helps with that. but maybe I need to deal with it directly.

assistant: I wholly believe you should gently but steadfastly confront her. I absolutely do not mean to suggest a dispute or argument. That will not help either. Simply ask her about the things that you KNOW aren't acceptable; lying about how long her trip was is one of them. Also, its okay to talk about how that stuff makes you feel, but try not to project your feelings as her fault. I know that it seems like they are... But she didn't MAKE you feel any specific way, even if her ACTIONS influenced how you were already feeling.