Dame Fidget And Her Silver Penny
by Clara Doty Bates

Versified by Mrs. Clara Doty Bates.
A Wee, wee woman
Was little old Dame Fidget,
And she lived by herself
In a wee, wee room,
And early every morning,
So tidy was her habit,
She began to sweep it out
With a wee, wee broom.
To sweep for the cinders,
Though never were there any,
She whisked about, and brushed about,
Humming like a bee;
When, odd enough, one day
She found a silver penny,
Shining in a corner,
As bright as bright could be.
She eyed it, she took it
Between her thumb and finger;
She put it in the sugar bowl
And quickly shut the lid;
And after planning over carefully
The way to spend it,
She resolved to go to market
And to buy herself a kid.
And that she did next day; but, ah,
The kid proved very lazy!
And it moved toward home so slowly
She could scarcely see it crawl;
At first she coaxed and petted it,
And then she stormed and scolded,
Till at last, when they had reached the bridge,
It would not go at all.
Just then Dame Fidget saw a dog run by,
And whistled to him,
And cried:--"Pray dog bite kid,
Kid won't go!
I see by the moonlight
'Tis almost midnight,
And time kid and I were home
Half an hour ago!"
But no, he said he wouldn't;
So to the stick she pleaded:--
"Pray stick beat dog, dog won't bite kid,
Kid won't go!
I see by the moonlight
'Tis almost midnight,
And time kid and I were home
Half an hour ago!"
But the stick didn't stir,
So she called upon the fire:--
"Pray fire burn stick, stick won't beat dog,
Dog won't bite kid,
Kid won't go!
And I see by the moonlight
'Tis almost midnight,
And time kid and I were home
Half an hour ago!"
But the fire only smoked,
So she turned and begged the water:--
"Pray water quench fire, fire won't burn stick,
Stick won't beat dog, dog won't bite kid,
Kid won't go!
I see by the moonlight
'Tis already midnight,
And time kid and I were home
An hour and a half ago!"
"Ha, ha!" the water gurgled,
So to the ox appealing:--
"Pray ox drink water, water won't quench fire,
Fire won't burn stick, stick won't beat dog,
Dog won't bite kid,
Kid won't go!
And I see by the moonlight
'Tis already midnight,
And time kid and I were home
An hour and a half ago!"
But the ox bellowed "no!"
So she shouted to the butcher:--
"Pray butcher kill ox, ox won't drink water,
Water won't quench fire, fire won't burn stick,
Stick won't beat dog, dog won't bite kid,
Kid won't go!
I see by the moonlight
'Tis getting past midnight,
And time kid and I were home
An hour and a half ago!"
But the butcher only laughed at her,
And to the rope she hurried:--
"Pray rope hang butcher, butcher won't kill ox,
Ox won't drink water, water won't quench fire,
Fire won't burn stick, stick won't beat dog,
Dog won't bite kid,
Kid won't go!
And I see by the moonlight
'Tis getting past midnight,
And time kid and I were home
An hour and a half ago."
The rope swayed round for "nay!"
So to the rat she beckoned:--
"Pray rat gnaw rope, rope won't hang butcher,
Butcher won't kill ox, ox won't drink water,
Water won't quench fire, fire won't burn stick,
Stick won't beat dog, dog won't bite kid,
Kid won't go!
And I see by the moonlight
'Tis long past midnight,
And time kid and I were home
A couple of hours ago!"
A scornful squeak was all he deigned,
And so she called the kitten:--
"Pray cat eat rat, rat won't gnaw rope,
Rope won't hang butcher, butcher won't kill ox,
Ox won't drink water, water won't quench fire,
Fire won't burn stick, stick won't beat dog,
Dog won't bite kid,
Kid won't go!
And I see by the moonlight
'Tis long past midnight,
And time kid and I were home
Hours and hours ago!"
Now pussy loved a rat,
So she seized him in a minute:
And the cat began to eat the rat,
The rat began to gnaw the rope,
The rope began to hang the butcher,
The butcher began to kill the ox,
The ox began to drink the water,
The water began to quench the fire,
The fire began to burn the stick,
The stick began to beat the dog,
The dog began to bite the kid,
And the kid began to go!
And home through the moonlight,
Long after midnight,
The little dame and little kid
Went trudging--oh, so slow!
The little Boy in the Barn,
Lay down on some hay.
The Owl came out,
And flew about,
And the little Boy ran away.