The Coming Boat Race.
by Edward Woodley Bowling

OXFORD.CAMBRIDGE.1. R. T. RAIKES.1. J. STILL.2. F. CROWDER.2. J. R. SELWYN.3. W. FREEMAN.3. J. A. BOURKE.4. F. WILLAN.4. J. FORTESCUE.5. E. F. HENLEY.5. D. F. STEVENSON.6. W. W. WOOD.6. R. A. KINGLAKE.7. H. P. SENHOUSE.7. H. WATNEY.8. M. BROWN.8. W. R. GRIFFITHS.Steerer - C. R. W. TOTTENHAM.Steerer - A. FORBES.
Attend, all ye who wish to see the names
of each stout crew,
Who've come to town from cap and gown to
fight for their favourite blue.
OXFORD.
First TOTTENHAM comes, a well-known name, that cattle driving Cox'en.
Who oft to victory has steer'd his gallant team of Oxon.
O'er Putney's course so well can he that team in safety goad,
That we ought to call old Father Thames the Oxford-Tottenham Road.
Then comes the Stroke, a mariner of merit and renown;
Since dark blue are his colours, he can never be dun-brown.
Ye who would at your leisure his heroic deeds peruse,
Go, read Tom Brown at Oxford by the other Tom - TOM HUGHES.
Next SENHOUSE, short for Senate-house, but long enough for seven,
Shall to the eight-oar'd ship impart a sen-at-orial leaven.
Then Number Six (no truer word was ever said in joke)
In keeping with his name of WOOD, has heart and limbs of oak.
The voice of all aquatic men the praise of "Five" proclaims;
No finer sight can eye delight than "HENLEY-upon-Thames."
Then Number Four who is heaver far than a number of Macmillan,
Though WILLAN'S his name may well exclaim, "Here I am, but I hain't a willan." [1]
Then FREEMAN rows at Number Three, in a freer and manly style;
No finer oar was e'er produced by the Tiber, Thames, or Nile.
Let politicians, if they please, rob freemen of their vote,
Provided they leave Oxford men a FREEMAN for their boat.
Among the crowd of oarsmen proud no name will fame shout louder
Than his who sits at Number Two, the straight and upright CROWDER.
Then RAIKES rows bow, and we must allow that with all the weight that's aft
The bow-oar gives a rakish air to the bows o' the dark-blue craft.
This is the crew, who've donned dark blue, and no stouter team of Oxon
Has ploughed the waves of old Father Thames, or owned a better Cox'en.
CAMBRIDGE.
Now, don't refuse, aquatic Muse, the glories to rehearse
Of the rival crew, who've donned light blue, to row for better for worse.
They've lost their luck, but retain their pluck, and whate'er their fate may be,
Light blue may meet one more defeat, but disgrace they ne'er will see.
We've seen them row thro' sleet and snow till they sank - "merses profundo"
(HORACE, forgive me!) "pulchrior Cami evenit arundo."
First little FORBES our praise absorbs, he comes from a learned College,
So Cambridge hopes he will pull his ropes with scientific knowledge.
May he shun the charge of swinging barge more straight than an archer's arrow,
May he steer his eight, as he sits sedate in the stern of his vessel narrow!
Then comes the Stroke, with a heart of oak, who has stood to his flag like twenty,
While some stood aloof, and were not proof against dolce far niente.
So let us pray that GRIFFITHS may to the banks of Cam recall
The swing and style, lost for a while, since the days of JONES and HALL.
Then WATNEY comes, and a pluckier seven ne'er rowed in a Cambridge crew;
His long straight swing is just the thing which an oarsman loves to view.
Then comes KINGLAKE, of a massive make, who in spite of failures past,
Like a sailor true, has nailed light-blue as his colours to the mast.
The Consul bold in days of old was thanked by the Patres hoary,
When, in spite of luck, he displayed his pluck on the field of Cannae gory;
So whate'er the fate of the Cambridge eight, let Cambridge men agree,
Their voice to raise in their Captain's praise with thrice and three times three.
Then Number Five is all alive, and for hard work always ready,
As to and fro his broad back doth go, like a pendulum strong and steady.
Then FORTESCUE doth pull it through without delay or dawdlin';
Right proud I trow as they see him row are the merry men of Magdalen.
Then comes a name well known to fame, the great and gallant BOURKE;
Who ne'er was known fatigue to own, or neglect his share of work.
New zeal and life to each new stroke stout SELWYN doth impart,
And ever with fresh vigour, like Antaeus, forward start.
Then last, but not the least of all, to row the boat along,
They've got a bow whom all allow to be both STILL and strong.
No crew can quail, or ever fail to labour with a will,
When so much strength and spirits are supplied them by their STILL.
We've done our task - to you who ask the probable result
We more will speak, if you next week our Prophet will consult.
(1866)
[1] Cf. Pickwick.    "Here I am, but I hain't a willan." - FAT BOY.