Bedfordshire Ballad. - I.
by Edward Woodley Bowling

THE TWO MAIDENS.
[The following Verses were written for a country Penny Reading].
Two Bedfordshire maidens in one village dwelt;
Side by side in their Church every Sunday they knelt;
They were not very pretty and not very plain;
And their names were Eliza and Emily Jane.
Now Carpenter Smith was young, steady and still,
And wherever he went, worked and played with a will:
To bed he went early, and early did rise;
So, of course, he was healthy, and wealthy, and wise.
But John he grew tired of a bachelor's life,
So he looked all around him in search of a wife;
And his eyes, as they wandered, again and again
Returned to Eliza and Emily Jane.
And whenever those maidens encountered his eye,
Their pulses beat quickly (perhaps you know why);
They each of them thought him a wonderful Don,
And wished to be married to Carpenter John.
But John, as you've heard, was a prudent young man;
And determined their faults and their merits to scan;
Says he, "If I marry, I'm tied for my life;
"So it's well to be cautious in choosing a wife."
Now I'm sorry to say that young Emily Jane
Was disposed to be rather conceited and vain;
In fact, for the truth I'm obliged to confess,
Was decidedly fond of extravagant dress.
So she thought the best way to the Carpenter's heart
Was to purchase gay dresses and finery smart;
In the carrier's van off to Bedford she went,
And many weeks' wages in finery spent.
Her dress it was blue, and her ribbons were green,
And her chignon the highest that ever was seen,
And perched on the top, heavy-laden with flowers,
Was a bonnet, embosomed in beautiful bowers.
So red, as she walked to the Church, was her shawl
That the bull in the farm-yard did bellow and bawl;
And so high were her heels that on entering the door
She slipped, and she stumbled, and fell on the floor.
Says Carpenter Smith, "It's decidedly plain
"That I'd better keep clear of that Emily Jane:"
So from Emily Jane he averted his eye,
And just at that moment Eliza passed by.
Now Eliza had thought, "If his heart I subdue,
"It shall not be by dresses and finery new:
"For a lover who's taken by ornaments gay
"Will love some one else ere a week pass away."
So her ribbons were lilac; white straw was her bonnet;
Her dress was light grey, with dark braiding upon it;
Her jacket was black; and her boots of stout leather
Were fitted for walking in all sorts of weather.
She was not very pretty, and yet in her smile
There was something that charmed by its freedom from guile:
And tho' lowly her lot, yet her natural grace
Made her look like a lady in figure and face.
A rose from the garden she wore on her breast,
And John, as her fingers he tenderly press'd,
Seemed to feel a sharp arrow ('twas Cupid's first dart)
Come straight from the rosebud and enter his heart.
Now John and Eliza are husband and wife;
Their quarrels are few, and contented their life;
They eat and they drink and they dress in good taste,
For their money they spend on their wants, not in waste.
But I'm sorry to say that Miss Emily Jane
Has still an aversion to dress that is plain;
And the consequence is that she always has stayed,
And is likely to stay, a disconsolate maid.
MORAL.
Young ladies, I hope you'll attend to my moral,
When you hear it, I'm sure you and I shall not quarrel:
If you're pretty, fine dress is not needed to show it;
If you're ugly, fine dress will make all the world know it.
Young men, if you wish, as I trust you all do,
A partner for worse or for better to woo,
Don't marry a peacock dressed out in gay feathers,
But a wife guaranteed to wear well in all weathers.