CreativeLang/pun_detection_semeval2017_task7 huggingface dataset:
Doctor, Doctor, I can't get to sleep. - Sit on the edge of the bed and you'll soon drop off. Next.
I went to the dentist without lunch, and he gave me a plate.
To our sweethearts and wives. May they never meet!
OLD JANITORS never die they just get swept up.
The massage which came with the spa treatment was a nice touch.
OLD SHOE SHINE BOYS never die, they are just rebuffed..
Here is how the track meet is going to run...
How do I handle change? I put it in the parking meter.
I've never taken an elevator to the basement floor, that's just beneath me.
I've never killed a deer before but I'll take a shot at it.
Hands in Prayer: Already Digital
Diabetics should not be allowed to have sweet dreams.
I'm going to the guillotine at dawn and my wife has already collected my severance pay.
After 5 years with the same chiropractor, I moved and had to change doctors. It was quite an adjustment.
We're expecting fallout from the recent layoffs at the nuclear plant.
A scientist doing a large experiment with liquid chemicals was trying to solve a problem when he fell in and became part of the solution.
It's the Borg!! Quick, everyone try to look useless!
I got a great bargain the other day when I bought a forklift for half - price. It's amazing what you can pick up these days.
Professionals built the Titanic, amateurs built the ark.
" I just came in through the door, " said Tom, entranced.
Dutch shoes used to be made in a factory machine, until it got clogged up.
The inventor of a hay baling machine made a bundle.
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
When the investor came home from work he was spent.
We are born crying, live complaining, die disappointed
Courage lost, all lost.
Old electricians never die, they just keep plugging away.
OLD GARDENERS never die, they just get uprooted.
The science teachers broke up because there was no chemistry between them.
Resist everything but temptation.
Eavesdroppers hear no good of themselves.
How do you find a missing train? Follow the tracks.
My name is Brandy. The bartender.
It ain't over till it's over.
My name is Ham. I raise pigs
Ohm resisted the idea at first.
The personal trainer quit his job because it wasn't working out.
A man of words and not of deeds, is like a garden full of weeds.
The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.
Madame: " Now remember, girls, when handling royalty the important thing is to keep up your dukes! "
Do you ever get tired of sleeping?
I was in a big hurry so I scrambled to make eggs for breakfast.
There is no royal road to learning.
Bathroom scale: Something you stand on and swear at.
I had some back trouble, but it's all behind me now.
Daddy, how come my magnet won't pick up these disks?
Just after thimbles were invented there was a shortage, so many people got stuck without one.
Badminton players are for the birds.
Gotta run... the cat's caught in the printer again!
The untruthful deli clerk was full of baloney.
When neon lights were perfected the inventor was positively glowing.
My name is Sue. I'm also a lawyer.
The manufacturers of dynamite do a booming business.
In the house of the hanged man, mention not the rope.
He who does not advance goes backwards.
Gardeners like to plant their feet firmly.
One grasshopper told another about eating corn. It went in one ear and out the other.
Did you hear about the guy who planted bullets? He wanted to see a lot of little shoots.
Call me if you need my phone number!
Pompous male bees are often known to drone on about themselves.
The parsley farmer couldn't pay his child support, so the courts garnished his wages.
She started a new courier business for an express purpose.
She always paints night scenes. Other artists pale by comparison.
Some people like raw meat on rare occasions.
To a person who is attentive to minutiae: " You're certainly observant, even if you're not religious. "
An Electrician's work is well grounded.
When he found out that he would visit a real blacksmith he got all fired up.
The scorpion said to the desert,'You know, our conversations are always so dry. '
An argument at the Bomb Squad convention ended in a blowup.
After a day of changing her triplet's diapers, the new mother was feeling rather pooped.
You've got more issues than Time magazine.
Saw makers losing money have to make lots of cuts.
When longshoremen show up late for work they get docked.
OLD EXORCISTS never die, they just get repossessed.
Lead me not into temptation, I can find my own way
Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a bridge. - What's come over you? - Two cars, a truck and a coach.
She was only a Electrician's daughter, but she went haywire.
People tell me I'm indecisive. Am I? I'm not sure.
Don't be sexist! Chicks hate that.
And on the seventh day, He took an aspirin.
Brag is a good dog, but holdfast is better.
OLD MEDIUMS never die, they just lose their spirits.
This just in: Research causes cancer in rats!
I used to be afraid of purchasing residential property for the purpose of renting, but now I have an apartment complex.
OLD LUMBERJACKS never die, they just split.
Martians welcome. We have space for everyone.
It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said'No change yet'.
OLD SWIMMERS never die, they just have a stroke.
The landscaper thought gardening magazines were fun to leaf through.
She was only a Bricklayer's daughter, but she was certainly stacked.
A boy saving up for a car has a lot of driving ambition.
Don't burn the candle at both ends.
My name is Dean A college chancellor
" I'd like to buy a schwa, Pat. "
Virginity IS curable if detected early...
The fish missed the call because he was stuck on the other line.
OLD CONTORTIONISTS never die, they just meet their end.
No bungee cords, but we encourage leaps of faith.
My friend came around for dinner. We ate for 20 minutes, then he fainted again.
My friend's bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast.
I can do an excellent impression of Sinatra, said Tom, being perfectly frank.
The roulette dealer had a unique personality. He had a different spin on everything.
He was able to listen to his favorite radio show in the morning because he had an AM radio
She was only a Doctor's daughter, but she really knew how to operate.
Failure is the stepping stone for success.
Musicians need a leader because they don't know how to conduct themselves.
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
After the six campers were discovered missing from their tents the state police began to canvas the area.
Jumping to conclusions is bad exercise
An accountant for a restaurant has to be sure the books are not cooked.
OLD MUFFLERS never die they just get exhausted.
If you’re looking for a sign from god, this is it.
OLD HIKERS never die, they just trail away.
People who make necklaces may get beady eyes.
A skier retired because he was going downhill.
There is no tree but bears some fruit.
Doctor, Doctor I feel like a pair of curtains - Well pull yourself together then. Next.
The gravity was so powerful, I couldn't stand it.
My name is Pat. I am a masseur
I can't remember ever getting nits as a kid, although I do have a lousy memory.
Dear Santa, all I want is your list of naughty girls.
I knew a woman who owned a taser, man was she stunning!
People only throw stones at trees with fruit on them.
The thought of having no alternative to soap never washed with the inventor of shower gel.
Did you hear about the man who was jabbed in the back with a set of keys? His back locked up.
OLD INTERPRETERS (for the deaf) never die, they just sign off.
Fear the man of one book.
The dairy farmer while milking his cow strained his calf in the process.
He was a janitor in the restaurant. He did things under the table.
If you think guests really enjoy your home movies, you are probably projecting.
Just because pews come in rows doesn’t mean we should plant ourselves there
My father's father wanted to know if he could stay with the company in spite of the many changes. They ended up grandfathering him in.
Getting this job managing a country estate has put me off fried eggs. I'm a gamekeeper turned poacher.
I wanted to have dinner at a native American themed restaurant, but I didn't have reservations.
Why did the termites eat the wooden barrel? To stave off hunger.
She was only a Rancher's daughter, but she couldn't keep her calves together.
The intelligent entrepreneur's idea for designing catapults meant that his boss was completely thrown.
Children are uncertain comforts but certain cares.
A boy told his parents he wanted to raise goats for a living, but he was only kidding.
A guy went to a costume party dressed as a knife, and he really looked sharp.
There are 2 kinds of people: pessimists and fools....
It ain't over till the fat lady sings.
OLD SEAMSTRESSES never die, they just come to the point.
Tip: Never take a beer to a job interview.
Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.
It wasn't my fault your wife wandered into my house!
Old school principals never die, they just lose their faculties.
A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
The boxer's girlfriend was a knockout.
A pirate with one hand often picked up the phone. He wanted to get off the hook.
After he bought a mirror he became very reflective.
Tagline dispenser temporarily out of order.
A dentist with a toothache could have a bad impact on his patients.
Plumbers often have to tap their natural abilities.
He threw snow in his neighbor's driveway and shouted, DO YOU GET MY DRIFT?
Old colanders never die, they just can't take the strain anymore.
A prisoner's favorite punctuation mark is the period. It marks the end of his sentence.
The fence builders were upset with their working conditions, so the started to picket.
If your waiting for something to turn up, try your sleeves.
He stomped on his old watch because he had time to kill.
Those who make sponges get very absorbed in their work.
As confused as a baby at a topless bar.
OLD BOWLERS never die they just end up in the gutter.
Hell’s the pits
OLD ELECTRICIANS never die, they just can't make connections
When the butter melted, it was rendered useless.
Q: What do you call six blondes placed ear to ear? A: A wind tunnel.
The airlines have become so cash - strapped, they charged me for my emotional baggage.
The cosmetic student was sick on the day of the final exam. Now she has to take a Make Up exam.
Q: River Ravi flows in which state? A: Liquid.
OLD NEWSPAPER PUBLISHERS never die, they just lose their circulation.
A leak in the back of a boat is a stern warning.
Hell is full. The damned are now in Tech Support.
A politician decided to resign on the day of an eclipse because it was a dark day.
When the beekeeper moved into town he created quite a buzz.
" This movie will be very popular, " Tom projected.
OLD POLICEMEN never die they just cop out.
I'd love to, but I'm observing National Apathy Week.
OLD HUMAN CANNONBALLS never die they just get fired.
OLD PHOTOGRAPHERS never die they just stop developing.
The best is cheapest.
Edison thought it would be an illuminating experience.
The best place for a mathematician is behind a counter.
I was struggling to figure out how lightning works then it struck me.
The man found something to catch fish, which was a net gain.
Quick at meat, quick at work.
She was only a Librarian's daughter, but she was checked out from cover to cover.
Basketball players are always bouncing ideas off each other.
Some business graphs are full of legend.
Tennis players don't marry because Love means Nothing to them.
John Hancock didn't retire, he just resigned.
I've planted part of a riding whip. I'm hoping for a nice crop.
' Coming ready or not! ’ – Jesus.
The seed company turfed out my idea for ready made lawn.
I hate it when motorcyclists hog the road.
An old lady once asked the dispatcher of a local trucking company if they could ship an antique mirror to her sister in Toronto. The dispatcher says,'I don't know madam, I'd have to look into it first'.
OLD TREE SURGEONS never die, they just pine away.
My mailman should be a comedian, his delivery is perfect!
If a judge loves the sound of his own voice, expect a long sentence.
Two monocles were making love in front of a window and made spectacles of themselves.
Whenever I go near my bank I get withdrawal symptoms.
For a chronically absent employee: It seemed her career was just taking off.
No Credit, Bad Credit? No Problem. No Money? Problem.
A rock band set up on the exchange floor. They wanted to play the stock market.
Back when the news was written on clay tablets there was a lot of breaking news.
When there's a sale on tennis balls it's first come first serve.
My job as head chef at a top rated restaurant is in jeopardy because my latest culinary creation was called a recipe for disaster.
She was always calling for her twins, " on the double. "
She was only a Flag - waver's daughter, but she'd let her standards down for anyone.
When the thief fell in the wet cement and broke both legs, he became a hardened criminal.
I was fired from my job selling amplifiers. I didn't achieve the sufficient volume of sales.
Did you hear about the compulsive fisherman? He was really hooked on it.
If a job is worth doing, it is worth doing well.
Sign at a deer crossing: The Buck Stops Here.
The unveiling of the statue was a monumental occasion.
You won't often catch loggers or farmers going against the grain.
My name is Charity, a televangelist
It's hard for a depressed turtle to get out of his shell.
An apple farmer with poor yields has to get to the core of the problem.
As soon as the airplane was invented, things were looking up.
An astronomy column in the newspaper would have a lot of space devoted to it.
When the plane hit turbulence, the passengers went flying.
Gravity, it's always putting everyone down.
All are not friends who speak one fair.
My name is Mark. I price items at the supermarket.
A book is a friend.
Did you hear about that new drug that makes people angry? It's all the rage now.
Honor your mother and father rather than major credit cards.
She memorized just what kind of locket she wanted, by heart.
He was a Red Cross donor until he went out of circulation.
Philosophy: unintelligible answers to insoluble problems
" A newspaper is a collection of half - injustices "
There is no such thing as bravery; only degrees of fear.
Florida bumper sticker: DON'T SHOOT! I'M LOCAL!
Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
She wanted to be a weaver but there were always too many snags.
Eve showed up one morning wearing flowers instead of a fig leaf. She was the first woman to wear bloomers.
The dermatologist was an avid gardener but he had a problem with moles.
A dog who played baseball always got walked.
Great beer bellies are made, not born.
Making gloves is a real hands - on experience.
Reason does not come before years.
If you breathe heavily on the map, it will reveal topography,'he said, with a sigh of relief.
It is not what you say, it is the way you say it.
Alergy sufferers are itching to get through the hay fever season.
OLD AUTO MECHANICS never die, they just retire.
I still miss my ex - husband. But my aim is improving.
OLD WHEELS never die they just get retired.
The building inspector said whoever installed the water pipes was plumb loco.
Geology class is the foundation of a decent education.
It said " Insert disk # 3 ", but only 2 will fit!
She was only a Dentist's daughter, but everybody wanted to fill her cavity.
Sin enough and you will become dead to it.
Limit Congress to 2 terms: one in office, one in jail!
I walked past a gang of youths yesterday and one of them threw a piece of cheese at me, which hit me on the back of the head. I turned round and shouted, " That's not very mature! "
The state police highway officer worked tirelessly in the heavy rain to assist a lady whose car was stuck in a ditch. He was a real trooper.
Bitter pills may have blessed effects.
My coach got stung by a bee. The next day he had hives.
My friend asked me to carve a sculpture out of a large rock. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to make!
They who would be young when they are old must be old when they are young.
During branding cowboys have sore calves.
The math professor liked even numbers, but only the odd one.
That new mystery novel has a killer start to it.
A fool with a tool is a well - equipped fool
I've been to the dentist several times so I know the drill.
I idiot - proof my programs, but along comes a bigger idiot.
A gardener who moved back to his home town rediscovered his roots.
Ampere was worried he wasn't up to current research.
She was only a Bottlemaker's daughter, but nothing could stop her.
Our country's olympic swimming program has quite a talent pool.
There was a guy who was fired from the orange juice factory for lack of concentration.
Cobblers children are worst shod.
Follow glory and it will flee, flee glory and it will follow thee.
She was only a Photographer's daughter, but she was really developed.
Two geologists were staring at a huge fissure in a cliff face and one was overheard to say'It's not my fault'.
When the electrican apprentice made mistakes, his mother grounded him.
Cats are smarter than dogs... You won't see eight cats pulling a sled.
VanDeGraaf charged his assistant to attend.
Harry and Clem the carpenters, argued mightily on how best to complete the dinette set they were working on. They finally agreed to table the discussion.
" Very funny, Scotty. Now beam up my clothes. "
A Crucifix? Oy vey, have YOU got the wrong vampire...
His plan to manufacture pencils just didn't draw attention.
One night a banking tycoon fell overboard from his yacht. He was saved because he could float a loan.
" Happiness is a warm puppy, " said the anaconda.
Compatible: Blows up a little later than Incompatible
My friends and I played a game of football on a pile of quarry rock - we lost on aggregate.
Press any key to continue.. But my computer doesn't have an " any " key.
A boxer who wants to get married has the ring to worry about.
Inventors have their own devices.
Darwin said he'd have to see what evolved.
When the TV repairman got married the reception was excellent.
Pride comes before the fall.
OLD HOOKERS never die, they just get laid off.
Do NOT look into laser with remaining eye..
Overheard in med school -'I learned about the colon through the process of elimination. '
He recommended the restaurant to me, and said he had no reservations.
Old carpenters never die, they just lumber around.
OLD GARAGEMEN never die, they just retire
Tony attempted to join his thin crust pizza company with Zimo's Thick Crust Pizza, but somehow it didn't pan out.
OLD SKIERS never die, but they go downhill fast.
I majored in nursing but I had to drop it because I ran out of milk.
" My parents are called Billy and Nanny, " Tom kidded.
When thy friend asks, let there be no to - morrow.
I once knew a guy who had fish and chips every day for a year. His stomach took a battering.
Pavlov was drooling at the thought.
Continually discovering new viruses can become a strain.
He studied water purification and had a great thirst for knowledge.
Those who play musical instruments for radio or TV have to stay tuned.
If you want enemies excel others, if you want friends let others excel you.
I met a girl at an internet cafe, but we didn't click.
A lovely lady who lost her watch became a timeless beauty.
Prison walls are never built to scale.
You don't shit where you eat.
I was heading to Hooters but my wife said'Don't bother, they have gone bust'.
A man tried working in a shoe store, but he just couldn't seem to fit in.
The calculus teacher tried to keep his students on task, but the class discussion kept going off on tangents.
I got a deal on a new computer, and they threw in the operating system to boot.
OLD UPHOLSTERERS never die, they just recover..
A new batter joined the baseball team, and he was a real hit.
My name is Dick. I'm a plain - clothes policeman.
A belly button is for salt when you eat celery in bed.
On being served an extravagant dessert: " So rich, it has its own tax shelters. "
She was only a Musician's daughter, but she knew all the bars in town.
What a charming doorway! said Tom, entranced.
My name is Rob. I'm a thief.
A baseball pitcher asked if he had a good curve ball, but wanted a straight answer.
The astronauts said their experience on the moon was out of this world.
A family went to watch a 007 movie at the theatre, it was a bonding experience.
After dating the goalie on the local team for a while, she realized he was a real keeper.
Wrestlers don't like to be put on hold.
The most expensive component is the one that breaks.
OLD INVESTORS never die they just roll over.
Could modern submarines be the wave of the future?
The eye looks but it is the mind that sees.
OLD TRAIN ENGINEERS never die, they just get derailed.
An ounce of discretion is worth a pound of wit.
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
My name is Sherry. I'm a wine - master.
You may use this opinion for a two week trial period.
She was only an Archer's daughter, but to all the men she was the target.
Deal gently with the bird you mean to catch.
The lawyer asked a loaded question about guns.
My name is Holly, I'm a holiday decorator
He told me he could eat a 32 ounce steak, but I found that hard to swallow.
The boy's guitar teacher helped him pick up his skills.
Why was the rabbit depressed? He was just going through a bad patch!
Better the devil you know (than the one you don't.)
OLD GROCERS never die, they just get shelved.
If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.
He was almost persuaded to invest in a poultry farm, but chickened out at the last minute.
" Well done " is better than " well said ".
Rule 1: Don't sweat the small stuff. Rule 2: Everything is small stuff
The portrait artist made extra money as a census taker. He was good at canvasing people.
Like cures like.
It's true that the earth rotates, but scientists are always putting their own spin on it.
There was a sign on the lawn at a drug re - hab center that said'Keep off the Grass'.
A husband is a lover who pushed his luck too far.
His model airplane hobby really took off.
The wish is father to the thought.
She was only a Bootleggers daughter, but I loved her still.
Have you ever wondered why baseball players get girlfriends? They're great at hitting it off.
He wanted desperately to be a good golfer - you could say he had a driving ambition.
It is the early bird that gets the worm.
If you walk along a railroad track you may soon feel run down.
When the pirate captain's ship ran aground he couldn't fathom why.
Attention staff! The clothes keep falling off the mannequins in ladies'wear. Would someone please redress the problem?
Using deodorant is no sweat.
A lawyer was defending a math teacher. He had to sum up.
No man is born into this world, whose work is not born with him.
Heart surgeons never bypass a good opportunity.
If it screams, it's not food, yet....
My name is Victor, and I'm a winner in everything I do.
My name is Faith. I'm a minister.
The state funeral remains to be seen.
Old gardeners never die they just vegetate.
People who make motor oil are very refined.
If you send a letter to the Philippines put it in a Manila envelope.
The play on fishing had quite a cast.
Never lie to your lawyer.
Did you hear about these new reversible jackets? I'm excited to see how they turn out.
Do not merely believe in miracles, rely on them.
It has been discovered that sales of irons are decreasing.
It's not the minutes spent at the table that put on weight, it's the seconds.
He that will not when he may, when he will he may have nay.
When he proposed to her, she found it very engaging.
Anyone who remembers the 60's... wasn't there.
When I asked the man how he became a ditch - digger, he said he just fell into it.
Anyone should know how to put a saddle on a horse so it won't slip and cause an injury. It's a cinch.
That's a cool chair. Yeah, I know, it rocks.
If you run through a screen door you'll strain yourself.
There is rarely a sale on beer because the demand is always high so there's no need to create a buzz.