List of Roseanne episodes
Season 9 (1996–97)

List of Roseanne episodes

Section Title: Season 9 (1996–97)
Table Section Text: None

No. overall	No. in season	Title	Directed by	Written by	Original air date	Prod. code	US viewers (millions)

199	1	"Call Waiting"	Mark K. Samuels	Drew Ogier and Allan Stephan Blasband	September 17, 1996	1001	18.9

Regretting breaking the rules and fighting with Roseanne, Dan fixes the house after the huge fight and leaves a ton of messages on Jackie's answering machine.

200	2	"Millions from Heaven"	Mark K. Samuels	Nancy Steen and Cynthia Mort	September 24, 1996	1002	17.6

The lottery ticket mentioned in the last episode is a winner. Roseanne has won $108 million.

201	3	"What a Day for a Daydream"	Mark K. Samuels	Richard Kaplan and Garland Testa	October 1, 1996	1003	18.6

With a full dinner table and a home-cooked meal, Roseanne daydreams about the lottery winnings; from a riot on the Jerry Springer Show to a glamorous photo shoot with Jackie and Hugh Hefner.

202	4	"Honor Thy Mother"	Mark K. Samuels	Bob Nickman and Amy Welsh	October 8, 1996	1004	16.9

Dan announces that he's going to visit his mother in California. Jackie and Roseanne wait out the Conner house's renovation at a spa.

203	5	"Someday My Prince Will Come"	Mark K. Samuels	Carrie Snow and Janet Leahy	October 15, 1996	1005	15.7

Prince Carlos Charmaine (Jim Varney) from Moldavia, visits Jackie, with whom he's enamored after seeing her on television. Roseanne warns Jackie to remain distant, until Leon discovers that he's really a prince.

204	6	"Pampered to a Pulp"	Mark K. Samuels	Stacie Lipp	October 22, 1996	1007	15.3

Roseanne and Jackie's spa trip subjects them to a strict diet, acid peels, skin toxins, and exhausting hikes. Tammy Faye Messner appears in this episode.

205	7	"Satan, Darling"	Roseanne	Story by : Roseanne and Ellen Quigley Teleplay by : Roseanne and Jennifer Saunders	October 29, 1996	1006	17.7

Roseanne, Jackie, and Nancy visit New York City's Upper West Side, where they meet celebrities and are invited to Martha's Vineyard by a woman named Astrid Wentworth.

206	8	"Hoi Polloi Meets Hoiti Toiti"	Mark K. Samuels	Leif Sandaas and Debbie Kasper	November 12, 1996	1008	13.3

Roseanne, Jackie, DJ, Mark, Bev, Becky, Andy, and Jerry go to the Wentworth estate to meet Astrid's family, who aren't impressed at Roseanne's trashy ways.

207	9	"Roseambo"	Gary Halvorson	R. Gaylor and Betsy Salkind	November 19, 1996	1009	12.2

In a parody of Dark Territory (starring Steven Seagal), Roseanne meets First Lady Hillary Clinton (Teresa Barnwell), after saving her family and Dr.

208	10	"Home Is Where the Afghan Is"	Gary Halvorson	Lawrence Broch	November 26, 1996	1010	15.0

Roseanne, Jackie, and the family finally arrive home after all the excitement. Roseanne is disappointed that Dan has not returned from his trip.

209	11	"Mothers and Other Strangers"	Gary Halvorson	Roseanne and Cynthia Mort	December 3, 1996	1011	15.4

Dan still is not home, and Roseanne worries about how he will react to all the changes she has made to the house.

210	12	"Home for the Holidays"	Mark K. Samuels	Story by : Roseanne Teleplay by : Lawrence Broch	December 17, 1996	1012	N/A

Dan returns home, but he treats Roseanne coolly. Jackie overhears him having an intimate conversation on the phone with his mother's nurse.

211	13	"Say It Ain't So"	Mark K. Samuels	Nancy Steen	January 7, 1997	1013	18.1

Roseanne kicks out Dan over his affair with his mother's nurse, though her decision devastates her.

212	14	"Hit the Road, Jack"	Mark K. Samuels	Roseanne	January 14, 1997	1014	18.8

A depressed Roseanne avoids Dan and drives around town eating fast food and listening to radio shows. She believes Dan had an affair because of her appearance.

213	15	"The War Room"	Mark K. Samuels	Bob Nickman	January 28, 1997	1015	16.3

A depressed Roseanne locks herself and Jerry in her bedroom, drowning her sorrow with fattening foods, trashy magazines, and TV. Friends and family attempt to get her out, but they ultimately fail until Mark tells her that Dan has not left town and wants her back.

214	16	"Lanford's Elite"	Gary Halvorson	Story by : Allan Stephan Blasband Teleplay by : Richard Whitley and Bob Rubin	February 11, 1997	1016	13.5

Roseanne and Jackie attend an exquisite luncheon where they discuss politics and other topics with Lanford's elite. Roseanne meets Edgar Wellman (James Brolin), son of the owner of Roseanne and Jackie's former workplace, and Edgar asks Roseanne for money to help keep Wellman Plastics open--it fell into decline after the sisters left in 1989.

215	17	"Some Enchanted Merger"	Gary Halvorson	April Winchell	February 11, 1997	1017	13.5

Jackie believes that Roseanne and Edgar Wellman are an item for real--they are not, although Roseanne wishes they were. Roseanne claims their relationship is only about business; Jackie does not believe her.

216	18	"A Second Chance"	Mark K. Samuels	Cynthia Mort	February 18, 1997	1018	16.3

Reluctant to leave, Dan asks Jackie about Edgar Wellman's relationship with Roseanne. Jackie confirms it, but Roseanne returns to Dan.

217	19	"The Miracle"	Gary Halvorson	Story by : Roseanne Teleplay by : Drew Ogier	February 25, 1997	1019	16.2

Darlene gives birth to a dangerously premature baby girl, Harris Conner Healy. Roseanne consults other doctors from around the world, but what ultimately keeps the baby alive is Roseanne's own grandmotherly love and nurturing.

218	20	"Roseanne-Feld"	Mark K. Samuels	April Winchell and Richard Whitley	March 4, 1997	1020	N/A

Jackie and Mark attend a wrestling match, where Jackie ends up fighting the Black Widow (Dot Jones). D.J.'s first sexual experience looms and he consults Mark, who is not too helpful.

219	21	"The Truth Be Told"	Mark K. Samuels	Lawrence Broch and April Winchell	March 18, 1997	1021	12.9

Roseanne and Jackie learn that producers want to make a TV-movie about the Conners, but also find out that they want to make distressingly drastic changes: gorgeous actors to play the Conners, fewer blue-collar plot twists, etc.

220	22	"Arsenic and Old Mom"	Mark K. Samuels	Carrie Fisher	May 13, 1997	1022	14.7

Dan's mother Audrey (now played by Debbie Reynolds, before played by Ann Wedgeworth in the 1989 Thanksgiving episode), visits unexpectedly and keeps trying to kill her son for putting her away for so many years.

221222	2324	"Into That Good Night"	Gary Halvorson	Story by : Roseanne Teleplay by : Jessica Pentland & Jennifer Pentland Roseanne and Allan Stephan Blasband	May 20, 1997	10231024	16.6

Harris Conner Healy, Darlene and David's preemie daughter, finally arrives home, and Darlene decides to stay in the Conner nest for a while and DJ begrudgingly gives up his room and heads for David's former space in the basement.

Sentence(s)