"Self-hating Jew" is with very rare exception used as an epithet only. It is very rarely used to legitimately describe an actual condition. I can cite thousands of instances of its use as an epithet; I suspect that one would be hard-pressed to come up with even a dozen examples of its legitimate use. Jfdwolff changed the introduction to include the word "epithet," so maybe NPOV is not what you think it is in this case.
I understand that there is a history of Jews hiding or otherwise denying or betraying their ethnicity/religion. But "self-hating Jew" is hardly a sympathetic term to describe such a person. Even by Prof. Gilman's position as given in the article, the term arose out of a dispute between different Jewish groups: an epithet. If you met someone who was genuinely distressed about his Jewish identity to the point that he tried to hide or deny it, would you call him a self-hating Jew? I think that would be very cruel; something worse even than calling a handicapped person a "cripple."
I also believe that most reasonable people would agree that your revert was belligerent and blind, given complete information. And I think describing someone's edit as "POVing," as you did, is fairly characterized as a personal attack.
Other than a few editors connected in various ways with you, I have had little trouble getting cooperation from anyone on Wikipedia, but thank you for your advice.