First, I just realized via your question that I could answer here. (Assuming it saves.)
Yes, I finally get that my attacks were totally inappropriate and unneccessary? I confess I did not at first, even this morning.
I realize I made inappropriate attacks after looking at his contributions and assuming some highly speculative personal motivation and then asking him about it in an offensive way. I would not be at all surprised if others have made negative assumptions about me based on looking at my contributions history and attacked me, so the user does have my sincere sympathies and apologies.
What to do differently when groups go after me? Write a better Wikiquette name several people? Go to WP:ANI naming several people? Do User:RfCs naming several people? That is where I admit I need further advice. 
Since a 7.5 year old off wiki email is often the focus of harassment, and so far the advice is not to go into detail about it, I don't know how to defend the recurrent references to it. Let me say again, it was a stupid, overly generalized and exaggerated response, but certainly not written with some evil bigoted intent. I feel that a lengthy correction of it complete with refs about then existing specific incidents/issues/etc, or stating in detail my current views, would be inappropriate, even on my user page and doubtless lead to more accusations by people who have a different POV.  But if there's some policy on this that I missed, I sure wish people would help me out with that.