Request for opinion 

An opinion was requested here I now offer one. The tone of this article prose-ridden and in-universe. Assume that a person reading this has no idea what a Jak is, and has never heard about previous Jak games or the Jak universe. Look at each part and ask yourself if it is 100% clear that this particular section is about a fictional game that exists in relation to other games (not just in the intro). Remember that you are describing a work of fiction, not telling a story. Also the style is repetitive and boring. Let me pick apart a paragraph - 

The missions (what is meant by "mission"?) in Jak 3 are generally either platform-based(platforming) or driving-based. The platform segments involve Jak("the player", Jak is a rendered model, someone else is doing the jumping. "Jak" is ok for story elements, but gameplay is about the player) jumping from platform to platform (that is what platforming means, right?) battling creatures along the way (he battles in both types of missions, right?). For these segments, he is also provided a rifle (does someone give him a rifle at the beginning of each segment?), the functionality of which changes with the kind of ammunition being used (how so?, also maybe "changes depending on the ammunition used"). The car driving ("driving", "car" is implied) segments (segmentsX2) usually involve Jak racing against time (prose, try "have specific time constraints") to complete a mission (that is what one does with missions), while defending himself against other cars (cars attack people?) or giant Metal Heads (?). When not on a mission (missionX3), Jak wanders the streets of either Spargus or Haven City (prose, and what reason do we have to care which fictional city he is wandering in?), searching for someone to assign him a mission (this sentence makes him sound so lame).

I'd do an edit myself, but I know nothing of Jak, and as it is this article does not make me care to. ~