Im here to help 

Finally i get to talk to you my wikipedian idol. Just want to say give me a shout it, anytime and i mean anytime those vandals get to you OK? I know your the one with the admin powers but my heart bleeds when i see what names you have been called in your time, it burns me to the bone. I cant just stand and watch anymore, its time for someone to do something.
But please my dear, can you read one of your lovely poems to me? You have such a wonderful voice that it would make for the perfect bed time story. Its not really romantic listening to the wiki policies or the Cali. gold rush. Please, pretty, pretty please.