Not even dreaming of trying to add it to today... 

...and possibly you have already seen it and rejected it, but there is a little ditty sometimes called "John Hobbs" or "John and Jane Hobbs" that recounts John's unsuccessful attempts to sell his wife at Smithfield, subsequent attempt to hang himself with the rope, his rescue by Jane and how they lived happily ever after (though occasionally the last verse is omitted). It may be traditional and I assume the couple are purely fictional, but it was featured in a musical farce called "Any Thing New" which opened at the Lyceum on 1st July 1811 and it was the hit of the show with three encores. Anyway ,I see you are tied up with being reported for not being ashamed at your lack of apology for a perceived slight, so I'll leave you to it (Blast them with lasers I say. pew pew pew). talk