Why do you assume that I'm a native speaker of English? Why don't you simply accept that I'm having messages relayed from an alien planet on which, despite multifarious differences, something akin to the Roman alphabet developed in parallel, complete with 'e,' 'o,' and the 'ee'/'oo' innovation in the more advanced cultures? Why do you insist on putting something called 'regularity' (= 'one grapheme one function'?) above efficiency in conveying the full range and variety of phonemes? Stereotypically German or what?