Top 10 Ways To Get A Boyfriend 
 1.  Before the first date, show your true self.  Do not shower or wear make up on the date. 
 2.  Order the most expensive food and lots of it.  Make sure it's nasty. 
 3.  Disagree with everything he likes. 
 4.  Tell him you have a couple kids. (Cats named Mittens, Fluffy, Pudding, and ChaChi) 
 5.  Tell him you have a dirty foot fetish and ask to suck his toes. 
 6.  Wear poop stained granny panties. 
 7.  Use your hands instead of your silverware. 
 8.  Always talk about your ex-boyfriends and how they are better than him. 
 9.  Plan your wedding the day you meet, and tell him you don't believe in having sex before or after marriage. 
 10. Tell him he must wear a tracker from now on so you know where he is at all times. 
 Follow all these rules and you will for sure have a boyfriend.