Courage is living through the worst hell you can imagine, wanting to die every die, with little hope in the future. For years. It is to one day find all you have been hoping and wishing for, needing. Then losing it forewer, ireversably, while your hell continues. Wanting to die twice as hard, but choosing to fight through the hell that has been eating you for years, knowing and believing that in the end it doesnt matter, just because you dont want to say you are too weak to fight. Living and breathing pain and missery, practicaly defecating your pants from fear every day, while the pain of the past eats you alive, and doing it with an honest smile. Then doing it again tomorrow, and the next day, until one day you realise youve won. The pain is no lesser, but it does not eat at you any more, it hurts and you feel it, but it doesnt injure your psiche.