" 

 suck my dick 

 The Chanhassen High School is a high school that is going to be built in Chanhassen, MN. It is planned on opening in Fall 2009. It is expected to have a starting enrollment of about 1,532.6 students and 24199 staff according to www.district112.org. It will cost about 960 million dollars. It is going to be at least 82 stories high, with over 500,000 lockers. It will be a complex that takes up an area of one square mile or 640 acres.  The School mascot is going to be the GBM. With the unique mascot, the school is introducing a newly discovered color called plaxice and coordinating it into the schools primary colors which are: Plaxice, Yellow, and Pink. The principal will be Dr. Hoolahand with an assistant principal of Mrs. Brown. 
 The school will be built on the recently purchased property from the artist formerly known as Prince. After relocating the significant population of hobos in the area, the new high school will be the first of its kind. It will offer free transportation between the Chanhassen High and its sister school, Chaska High. A tram service and a platoon of segways are the two most popular options being hotly debated. Alternative propositions have been an array of ziplines and/or a catapult. These are only suggested options and are most likely not going to be chosen. 
 The Chanhassen GBM's football team will be facing off against the HWH from the colgne high school in their first game in 2009 in their new 100,000 heated-seat indoor stadium.  
 To afford the school, taxes in the district will be raised along with fundraising by future students, says district112.org. The future pupils will be going door to door in attempts to sell their souls to any willing customers.  

 =Unique Features= 
 Chanhassen High School is going to have many unique features. Every desk in the school is going to have a platinum trimming with 40 inch rims on the side. The desk has been voted ""most likely to be a wheelchair"" according to www.district112.org. Every student will also be designated a customized grill. 

 Another unique feature to the Chanhassen High School will be its parking lot, says the district superintendent. The parking lot will be covering an area of 500 acres. ""Yes, we know it [will be] big, but it's worth it."" says the superintendent. The school is also going to be suspended 500 feet in the air by a swarm of mutant butterflies. The only way to get to the school from your car is by a squadron of eagles, the superintendent states. ""Me and the wife are hatching about 700 eagles from 2006 to 2009 so they're strong enough to carry each student to the school entrance 500 feet up. And for the more husky, we will be having a giant trampoline for anyone over 200 pounds, anyone under 200 pounds could possibly be launched into orbit because the trampoline is not calibrated for them."" 

 On top of the suspended building, there will be a herd of Big Angry Male Flamingos. ""They will increase school productivity by 2000%"" says the district survey analyst. Underneath the building will be an infestation of the South American Sloth. The Emos of the school have volunteered their time to feed these depressing creatures. ""This will give the emos in the school something to do during 1st block options"" quoted Principal Hoolahand.  

 Throughout the school's intricate system of hallways, there will be paintings of the GBM with him chanting the school's motto ""Very Nice!"". This has been confirmed by the district office in Chaska, MN, just 10 miles away from the Eagles' Launch Pad. 

 The city council is currently voting on a bill that would allow the catcher to use deadly force to clear the way for the eager students. The need for this catcher is because this school will be putting an estimated 10 billion tons of CO2 into the atmosphere on a monthly basis. In addition to that the eagles that will be used for transportation are endangered and after they have been used they will be killed and made into a coat for the current principal. All of this has been confirmed by district112.org and The principal. The identity of this hippie catcher has not yet been confirmed but it has been rumored that there will be a divining to try to certain Irwin into a new body to hunt and keep these hippies at bay. 

  
 In addition the school will be employing a new type of discipline in the school.  District112.org has confirmed that they are planning to get rid of things like detention and will be employing a new ""pimp"" based punishment system.  ""This is a brand new system that has been found to be very effective"" says one administrator.  He also confirmed that if any students are caught misbehaving, being disrespectful or offensive in any way depending on the severity of the offense they will have to spend time with the schoo