==here are the figjam lyrics== 
 I woke up this morning, but I didn't wake  
 'Til the afternoon, because I slept in late  
 With a great mental state and a date with destiny  
 I'll roll down the block without a copper even stressin' me  
 Let alone arrestin' me or giving me a ticket  
 It's coming into summer, and the weather's fucking wicked  
 So I figured I'd be hitting the beach  
 Look at skinny-dipper's titties and get something to eat  
 After half a pound of chips and a flounder burger  
 I was sitting on my arse like a council worker  
 Reminising about being pissed off about  
 My house burning down to the ground, and being out on my arse  
 Before my change of fortune  
 Now I score tunes, don't get up before noon  
 So heard your mama's on the head of my knob  
 And it's better than heading to my dead-end job  
 Because the boss was a cockhead when I was a clerk  
 So I clocked him - and now I don't work  
 It's beautiful day, and I can use a cliche, because  
 "I am the greatest!" ...like Cassius Clay  

 I got the world at my feet, and my toe jam's nasty  
 Figjam!  
 Fuck I'm good, just ask me  
 I couldn't give a shit about your corporate hierachy  
 Figjam!  
 Fuck I'm good, just ask me  

 Ahhhh! I can't believe how good I am, I'm the motherfucking man  
 Ahhhh! I can't believe how good I am, I'm the motherfucking man  
 Ahhhh! I can't believe how good I am, I'm the motherfucking man  
 Ahhhh! I can't believe how good I am, I'm the motherfucking man  

 I rock around in track-and-thongs  
 Fucked off a buck-of-bongs  
 If you don't like it, you can come suck a long dick. 
 'Cause I'm brit pop, all the way to hip hop  
 I get so plastered, you'd think I'm drinking gyp-rock  
 But I'm shit-hot, no matter how you look at it  
 And my lyrics make you wanna read the book a lit'  
 Don't - 'cause I'm cooking it right at the iron chef!  
 That's why I'm deaf, up to the high clef  

 Figjam! 
 And that's a fact, like Chief Wiggum and the fact  
 That never laggards like a magic pack of Tim Tams  
 Weatherduck snobs and you sucking on a give-a-damn, so good on the cut  
 They should call me Edward Scissorhands  

 So give a hand for me and my associates ... (You suck!)  
 Well that's just inappropriate  
 Smoke me a kipper, bitch 
 I'm from the yipper, switch  
 Side of town, don't forget to write it down  
 (West side, eeee!)  
 What the fuck? It ain't gangster rap!  
 Think you're tougher, then you'd probably suffer wanker's cramp  
 And I'll thank you to fuck right off  
 Professional fuckwits, take one night off  

 I'm Evil Eddie with a rock-steady microphone mastery  
 Figjam!  
 Fuck I'm good, just ask me  
 As a concept, the intellect can't grasp me  
 Figjam! 
 Fuck I'm good, just ask me  

 Ahhhh! I can't believe how good I am, I'm the motherfucking man! 
 Ahhhh! I can't believe how good I am, I'm the motherfucking man! 
 Ahhhh! I can't believe how good I am, I'm the motherfucking man! 
 Ahhhh! I can't believe how good I am, I'm the motherfucking man! 

 I got the strong profile, without the help of rhinoplasty  
 Figjam!  
 Fuck I'm good, just ask me  
 Kicking arse in the cha, but you can't class me  
 Figjam!  
 Fuck I'm good, just ask me  
 You just had a threesome with ya moma and your aunty  
 Figjam! 
 Fuck I'm good, just ask me  
 And they're coming back this arvo for the bukkake party  
 Figjam!  
 My dick is bigger than a wigwam!  
 And you can see my peepee three feet above the tv  
 And if you are getting very sleepy, wake up!  
 (these cunts need a shape up)  

 I'm a jet-set, go-getter, but I got a vendetta  
 Just got a death threat over the phone  
 Better go lay low, on the ground, like a bilby  
 Figjam!  
 Chill man, people wanna kill me!  
 But I don't let that bullshit sweat me  
 I'm at yo mama's if you wanna come and get me,  
 You shady fuck, I may be stuck  
 In a crazy situation but I'm favoured by lady luck  
 You wanna stop me? Wanna do it properly?  
 [Blam blam]  
 Ah fuck! Somebody shot me! 

 110% correct by LeakeyJee