== Evidence that Col. Sanders is still alive == 

 1. The funeral was closed-casket. Coincidence? Or was it intended to cover up the fact that the casket had nothing but chicken bones in it? 

 2. They don't just drop someone that famous in the ground, they bury them in an above ground mausoleum. Of course that would have been more expensive, not that that would've mattered if Sanders was dead. But is Sanders really dead? 

 3. Sanders was a Freemason. The Masons know all sorts of government secrets, could Sanders have threatened to warn the public about the government's plan to have aliens colonize the Earth? Could the government have tried to silence Sanders, only to fail because Sanders eats his magic chicken that keeps him alive? 

 4. Most of the post-1977 Elvis sightings have taken place at KFCs. This is evidence that Elvis is working with Col. Sanders. 

 5. KFC draws customers of all races, promoting racial harmony. That is the last thing the government wants, because people are a lot harder to keep in line if they are united. Especially if their plan for alien colonization gets out. 

 6. No arrest has been made in connection with 2Pac's "murder." Could it be because the government knows something? Like maybe that 2Pac faked his death so he could join Col. Sanders and Elvis in the resistance? 

 7. The truth is out there.