PAC Ranch

PAC Ranch - a very scary place for me. Even now when I think back. Somethings to know about me before hand so that you understand why was it hell for me. I'm Hungarian, and was only 11 at the time. Though in Hungary studying foreign languages is important I was only finished with 4th grade at the time (I was supposed to start 5th grade in September 2001 when we left) and to this point children get only very basic stuff like names of objects and that sort of stuff, so I was able to count and say hi basicly, more serious stuff only in high school which is from 9th grade. I was really scared and cried all the time, because I couldn't talk to anyone, did't understand anything others said, and didn't know how things worked, and things we are supposed to do, for example once about 2 weeks after we had arrived my mom came out suddenly to the ranch to visit me. I ran to one of the adults watching over us whether I could go see my mother. She asked whether I wrote a CSW(Completed Staff Work)... well I had no clue what it was, said no and she said that than I can't go. Well of course I started crying, I didn't know what to do, my mom was there, but I can't go see her, meanwhile my only purpose to come with her was to be with her, I didn't know where am I coming or what will be here, I just wanted to be with my mom. The "teacher" said that I can go this once... later I found out what it was, it's a request people write if they want something like libs (liberty). I actually had no friends there, I cried alot because I was lonely, it's a very complex situation but basicly no one was able to speak with me because I didn't understand but by the time I learned enough no one wanted to. I did everything they wanted but I always stood out, something was always wrong for them. So I was just discriminated because I was the little Hungarian girl who doesn't speak English well, doesn't know how things go here, and cries all the time. All of this was true but I always thought they could be a little more understanding... well they weren't. Once in the course room we were doing some sort of "drills" to learn the correct spelling of words, actually we did this a lot of times. I remember the teacher always giving me really diffucult words like I don't know fire-extinguisher but I was there maybe for 1 month and hadn't picked up that much English yet so it was so out of gradient and this was of course in front everyone out loud, I was so embarrassed. I know that no one should have expected this kind of "miracles" from me, but it still was humiliating to me because I always felt less than the others because they can do word like this but I can't. When we didn't have school hours everyone had jobs to do, we basicly run the whole place by ourselves, the (I think 4) adults only did administrative work. We had a laundry, kitchen, canteen, everything. So funny that I remember the place still so well that I could draw a map of where all the buildings where compared to each other. I worked in the kitchen and did the dishes, and sometimes other little jobs, mostly just cleaning. I remember that while I was there I had my first menstruation, I was so freaked out, didn't know what to do, didn't know what it was, who to ask, I wasn't even allowed to call my mom, and even when I was they told me always that she is on course and can not be bodered. I was really relieved when my mom got told that she will be sent to Flag for training, I thought maybe things will be different there and I could see her more often. When this turned out I was taken to the berthing of hers as we didn't know on exactly which day would be our flight so I got to sleep with her and they let me go to the course and do Student Hat which I started back in Hungary. This was a little 2 week happiness for me. Than we arrived at FLB I don't know maybe mid-January 2002 and I was told that I would be sent to the Cadet Org here as well. I for some reason had the idea that it would be the same as in LA and there was no holy way I was going to go there. I had only one other option to sigh the Sea Org contract and start the EPF. My mom was really against it that I was too young but the recruiters quickly told her that I was just as much a Thetan than anybody else just in a small body... so from their part no objections. I did my EPF really fast I think, I was also able to finish the Student Hat. I think this was the last time I was ever happy in the SO, I knew my dad was proud of me that I finished it at such a young age, and doing MEST work was kind of fun too. Than I was put ont he FRU (Flag Ready Unit) another set of courses similar to the EPF but we were helping out in mostly admin but also ther areas of the org, like filing, in the HGCs, so on, basicly running around like mad man. I at first was put in the recruiters office reception. It wasn't fun at all, I was getting yelled at all the time for small things like not being able to start the SO slide show for simebody on time because there were so many calls coming and had to handle those as well, but if I missed a call I would be slapped around just as much, and we were in the US still maybe for 5 months, hello—how the hell am I supposed to know enough English, I was able to get myself understood mainly from gestures but on the phone? I was still only 11. Then I was asked I think what kind of post would I want to do, they probably only did this because I was so super young. I told that I was interested in being an auditor (yessss the chance to see my mom more often as she was in the course rooms all the time), but the person asking me (I just can't remember who it was) just gave a little grin that yeah everyone wants to be on full time training but they were absolutly not going to do that as I no work record but could instead work with auditors in the HGCs. I didn't really have much choice. I was placed in the HGC in the Fort Harrison (Hubbard Guidence Center, where the auditing gets done) as the Board In charge of HGC 1 as they had so far the DofP (Director of Processing, who should have nothing to do with it as the running of the HGCs are the job of Dept. 10 and she was the head of Dept. 12) run the place, and even though I was still new they needed there someone right away. The problem was that this HGC dealt with the lower grade auditing and to Flag you see people don't really come for this. So we always had a constant problem of lack of PCs. My stat was involved with how many auditing sessions occured during the week... but if there is no PC no auditing sessions happen right? So my superiors always herassed me about the low stats and so, which wasn't even my fault. After 3 months I got fed up with the way they treat for things that are not even my fault, so I always told them my opinion about it, not a smart thing to do in the SO. Some pretty big fights occured between me and Sonya the HGC Admin, my direct senior. And they sent for a month of ethics, I was doing a lot of galley work which was very much fun, I met some people from the RPF (it's the program SO members do if they do something "really bad" like getting pregnant and so on) whom I actually wasn't even supposed to speak with but I found them the nicest persons on the base. I was also sent to help the Course Administrator in the Coach Building, where I actually enjoyed the whole thing as it was a lot less stress than the HGC the woman working there was really nice and she needed help as she was alone for a lot of course rooms and I thought if I got a chance here I could show that I can do good work as well. But then Sonya came to me asking, actually begging, me to come back to the HGC, she said everything will be different, I'll be working in HGC 3 as a Tech Page,