Whoever accepts this is a better debater than Manatee.

To begin, I would like to address some of the points presented by my honorable opponent before presenting my own.SUBSECTION I- ADDRESSING OF SAID POINTSManatee indicates that as a manatee he cannot speak, however it is well documented that many species of animals are capable of communicating not only with each other, but with other species as well, the most well known example of this being primapes which use sign language. Language does not provide a significant barrier to discourse. Now with concern to the subpoints laid out:1.Manatees have a historical background of overcoming stereotypes of being unintelligent, and in fact use their dopey appearance as a cunning ruse. Their act of preforming feats of ineptitude are a method of discouraging predators to eat them for lack of challenge and dignity. As evidenced by theory, mermaids are in fact a mythical being based on the sightings of Manatees(1). Mermaids are known to lure sailors to their death, by causing them to jump overboard to meet them and drown. Clearly this is due to above average persuasive skill, as beauty could not possibly achieve this end when manatees have a face that looks like a cooked leather purse.2. Manatees are perhaps stupid according to reliable scientific websites, however, this newspaper editorial clearly advocates manatees as creatures of intellect on par with dolphins, animals of such sentience that it is considered immoral to eat them, while lesser but still somewhat smart animals like pigs are regarded simply as delicious(2). Clearly my secondhand opinion succeeds scientific study. This is the philosophy I choose to adhere to in debating, despite it being flawed inherently.SUBSECTION II- MY PERSONAL QUALIFICATIONSMy opponent proceeds to refer to my credentials as an undefeated wordsmith(3). I submit to you that this source of information is compromised. Looking through my profile, it can be seen that I claim to support "No President" politically. However this is false! I do in fact believe in having a president! Clearly either I am lying now or have done so in the past. This tendency to mislead destroys my credibility and ability to inspire confidence in others of my reasoning. Nothing on that page can be considered a reliable source of information.As to my genetic disposition toward argumentation, I would ask my opponent to take into consideration that I am not just a banana, but rather a Bannanawamajama, more correctly pronounced as Banana Whammer Jammer, based on my habit of jamming on a guitar while applying liberal use of the whammy bar, inspired by the hit song of the same name probablyhttp://www.youtube.com...;(See Video I). Anyone who bothered to watch that video in its entirety would find that not a single noteworthy lyric was to be found, and rather based its entire thesis on one of the least celebrated instruments of the modern age, a harmonica. My name in fact betrays my inability to speak coherently. I would also take this opportunity to remind the audience and my opponent that bananas do not contain vocal chords, while manatees in fact contain several, if not more.SUBSECTION III- STATISTICAL ANALYSISAs to the nutritional facts presented, I have the follow grievances to address:1. Manatees, on average, contain far more calories, and natural fat. As fat is an essential nutrient for long term health, this makes Manatees more nutritious per capita than bananas.2. Potassium and Manganese are both metals, and it is well documented that heavy metal poisoning is a potential serious health risk. Bananas offer at least three sources of heavy metal, with the afforementioned Potassium and Manganese, as well as badass guitar licks as I shred this awesome solo(SOLO RETRACTED).3. Fiber is inherently messy and confusing, its primary purpose to entangle and dredge up old S***. This is primarily what we wish to avoid in a civil debate, as it is the opposite of good debate tactic.4. I cannot verify or deny the rest of the points, as bananas do not bother to include nutritional info on the inside of the peel, showing gross negligence and irresponsibility.SUBSECTION IV- NEW CONSIDERATIONSNow in addition, I would like to submit the following to the debate for consideration:The instigator has proposed a flawless argument in his very challenge that makes my position untennable. Clearly my efforts to convince anyone of his superiority undermines the possibility of me being correct. Yet despite this, I continue to work against my own position by refusing to admitt defeat. My obsession with winning an impossible to resolve argument only shows that I am incapable of accepting that I may be wrong, which goes against the very spirit of debate to begin with. My futile arguments are not even always well supported, I don't even think I have cited source for many of my points, although I can't be bothered to double check.I would also draw attention to how masterfully and eloquently my esteemed rival is able to expound his notions through such succinct and artfully subtle methodology, specifically his opening challenge, which reads something along the lines of how inherently superior his opponent is purely by the act of acquiescing to this verbal duel, a statement which employs such masterful brevity while delivering the full impact of its implications, while I, in contrast, tend to ramble on and on about a single topic incessantly, and even now this sentence has run on far longer than would be advisable and yet somehow I cant stop talking oh god.Further, I have noticed the impeccible logic found in Manatees argument. While his premises may be suspect to challenge, his logical processing of information which leads to his propositions seem fully coherent and valid. On the otherhand, sometimes my logic seems schizophrenic and unstable at best, and despite a good start, not all of my arguments end with the conclusions that you logically would think they would reach, which in turn, leads one to believe that Pancakes must be more delicious than Waffles(4).Finally, I would like to assert the capability of large mamalian creatures to achieve impressive displays of eloquence in both poetry and prose, as demonstrated Above(See Video II)http://www.youtube.com....As you can see, both Hippopotocampi and Rhinosaurs are capable rap artists, and it is therefore not unreasonable to assume Manatees cannot be great mass debators.SUBSECTION V- REFERENCES(1). http://srel.uga.edu...;(2). http://www.nytimes.com...;(3). http://www.debate.org...;(4). http://www.google.com...;