Resolved: the Zombie Apocalypse Will Happen

.. .. . >Definitions & Clarifications: Because Pro doesn't agree with my definition of "zombie," (I'm Con, btw) I have decided to slightly edit the original definition, which can be found here . http://dictionary.reference.com... After verifying with my opponent that my slightly edited definition fit his purposes through PM, now the new definition reads as--- Zombie: The body of a dead person given the semblance of life, by either a supernatural or scientific force, and can be mute and will-less or may appear vocal and with some sense of purpose, despite losing it's "human" consciousness. Now, without further ado, I present to you. .. . ***My Arguments! *** I would like to thank this website . http://www.cracked.com... for most of my arguments. .. . :D >Temperature ---Heat--- Temperature would play a major role in ruining a zombie apocalypse. Neither dead animals nor humans nor any dead organism can last long in the sweltering sun because of gut flora. Thanks to this bacteria, dead organisms can't withstand much heat before they are completely ruined, e. g. road kill. If they do, the gases inside them would cause them to explode from the pressure inside them caused by excess heat exposure. The plethora of bacteria in our bodies start eating the body from the inside out when we're dead and begin multiplying. This causes gases and acids, which in turn cause the body to bloat and due to heat, would cause the zombie to explode, which means no more zombie, and no more zombie apocalypse. On the other hand however, the cold also affect zombies in negative ways. ---Cold--- If zombies were exposed to excess cold temps, they would simply freeze due to the high amount of liquids in their bodies. Human bodies contain more that 60% water, so they would eventually be rendered immobile. Even after they thaw out, their muscles would be damaged and unusable due to a condition commonly known as freezer burn which ruins unwrapped meat. Keep in mind that all zombies are, are basically lumps of mobile dead meat. In this case, winter would work as a freezer and zombies would work as unprocessed meat. If the zombies aren't wrapped properly (or wrapped at all, in this case), then the muscle will be destroyed and they will be rendered useless as a zombie, unable to further pass on the disease. >Decomposition & Predators ---Decomposition--- Decomposition plays a major role in the ruins of a perfect apocalypse. As soon as our bodies die, decomposition begins to take its course. First, a fresh body experiences *rigor mortis*. This means that their body would go hard and stiff; if zombies are to come back to life after death somehow (assuming scientists accidentally found a way), the zombies would have to know how to move past this stage of decomposition. Then putrefaction begins, and the scenario I described in my temperature argument earlier, which I won't delve into, now. Not only this, there are also many predators of dead meat, which, once again, I emphasize, this is what a zombie is. . http://forensics4fiction.com... ---Predators--- What is a zombie made of? Well, taken into consideration that a zombie is a reanimated dead human body, it is made up of dead meat and bones. With the high amount of scavengers and insects around, there is no way a zombie could remain in existence. Zombies would act just like road kill. They would either decompose in a few weeks and stand no chance against the bacteria eating away at them, or they would be entirely consumed by nature. Since zombies are driven by a need for human flesh, they will mostly disregard the insects. And because they are basically a bag of bones and rotting muscle, they stand no chance in fighting off scavengers or even carnivores such as wolves and vultures. >Death & Rising of the Dead Usually, once a person dies, they are not revived. However, there are certain cases where there have been exceptions, such as CPR, cryopreservation, or sneezing. . http://www.medindia.net... (number 58) I shall now define dead as: an organism whose bodily functions have ceased to work anymore. In this case, "zombies" are dead humans who are revived somehow. However, there have been no successful attempts at cryopreservation, so even if the body were perfectly preserved, a person could not come back without a lot of damage done to his/her body unless there is another scientific way someone can be brought back, craving human flesh/brains. . http://www.bbc.co.uk... >Zombie Apocalypse? I think not. .. . the definition of apocalypse, which I will now bring up as part of my argument, is "the complete final destruction of the world. " . http://www.google.com... Therefore, if "zombies" were to be created by scientists somehow (most likely by accident, and not for an evil purpose) they would not last long enough to create sufficient chaos to be defined as an apocalypse. >Conclusion Due to temperatures and decomposition, zombies would not survive even if they were created. However, it is highly unlikely that they will be, since there is no way to bring someone back from the dead yet. If zombies cannot be created, there will be no apocalypse. Thank you! !! ^_^ My apologies if this sounded kind of slapped together. .. . I was working really hard on it last night, but then my computer crashed and I lost everything. Luckily, my outline was already printed out, so I just basically added a little detail to everything and gave up. However, I would like to thank everyone for bearing with me and for my opponent once again for accepting this debate! I would also like to thank my Oral Comm teacher (whose name will remain unknown) for introducing me to debate, and my best friend for being obsessed with zombies to motivate me to prove her wrong. :P Both of them unknowingly made me decide to debate this topic, haha. :D Over to my opponent, and may the odds be ever in your favor! :D