Jedi Don't Use Underwear

However, I'm sure that you'll still make an excellent opponent. If you don't forfeit, that is. Anyhow, now that the pleasantries are over with, I shall begin. 1. A History of the Jedi: Until approximately 800\900 years prior to the events of Star Wars: Episode 1, the Jedi wore underwear, like everyone else did. However. .. Once upon a time there was a Jedi named Justin. He never said never. He preferred to say "will not ever. " Anyway, he was a bully. He liked to pick on the other Jedi younglings. He was about three years older than the other Jedi younglings in his class, because he had been held back several times (due to the fact that he was dumb). This advantage in size allowed him to pick on the other younglings with little resistance from them. One day, he gave a youngling Jedi a wedgie. This wedgie was recorded by a teacher and posted on the websites which the younglings were allowed to go onto. Their website options were limited, because of an incident involving an apprentice buying 3000 Republic Credits worth of virtual money for an online game using money from the Jedi Temple Bank Account. Anyway, the video went viral and soon, all of the younglings were giving each other wedgies. IN FACT, grown Jedi masters and their apprentices were giving each other wedgies. Wedgies ruined the bond of trust between Master and Apprentice, and this was a big problem. Therefore, the now obsolete Council of Jedi Elders (later replaced by the Jedi Council) convened to discuss the problem. The council consisted of really old Jedi. . http://www.bing.com... They decided that the wedgies needed to be put to a stop. So, disciplinary measures were to be enforced against any Jedi caught giving someone else a wedgie. In fact, they downright banned underwear among all licensed Jedi. Also, Justin was to be kicked out of the Jedi Academy (now obsolete). Swearing that he would have his revenge, Justin fled to the secretive world's of the Sith and became. .. Darth Bieber. . http://www.bing.com... Two years later, the Sith Lord in power slipped over a banana peel and died. . http://www.bing.com... In the aftermath of this tragedy, Darth Bieber took power. He instituted reforms, such as requiring all Sith to wear underwear, even the ones who didn't originally. Even to this day the Sith wear underwear and the Jedi don't. Fortunately, Darth Bieber's evil reign over the Sith was short-lived. He had a song of his composition, "Baby," played on repeat 24/7 via the loudspeakers all over the Sith territories. After thirteen days of power, Darth Bieber was assassinated by his own apprentice, Darth Tinky-Winky. . http://www.bing.com... So, when the Jedi Order abolished underwear, what did they replace it with? The answer is simple: diapers. The Jedi did, from then on, purchase child and adult diapers from the Trade Federation, who in turn bought their diapers from a bear-like species called the "Charmin," who actually specialize in toilet paper. Their national anthem was "Cha cha cha Charmin. " Despite the baseless rumors that they are cute and cuddly, the truth is far from it. . http://www.bing.com... Also, there are several practical uses for diapers. For instance, if you were a Jedi knight operating deep behind enemy lines, you'd need a quick way to pee and poop. So instead of finding a quiet place to poop, why not just do your business right then and there without letting your pants down? I rest my case and I await my opponent's response.