Sarcastic Presidential Debate

I'll show you why I'm the best in the world and why I'm awesome and Senator Dump is not.1. Tax and Other StuffWhat I've been advocating is a flatt tax which is the same tax percentage for everyone, which means the poor will be paying less taxes and the richer pay a good portion of taxes, because as I've stated earlier that the rich have to currently pay 200 times the amount of taxes as the Middle Class. I believe that it is common sense that Americans want more money so my presidency will do that for you, plus it will let you keep more then Senator Dump's fifty cents thus allowing you to do things that you always wanted like that new car, fix the house, or go out to eat for a change instead of eatin' at home.My opponent and I here agree, but he doesn't state on how specificly he plans to do so. I state that we need to cut speading, because we're Americans and we have the right to make American made products and not just Chinese goods like we use to in the 1950s.2. ImmigrationI don't believe that all Americans like Mexicans. Not if your that American who lost your job because of that Mexican, or if your that American that goes bankrupt because we have to pay for those lazy Mexicans out on welfare. See even if they mow lawns they still take jobs away from the American kids, who were born here, to mow lawns and make money to buy that piece of candy they always wanted. So that's why we as Americans need to step up and take a stand so 'Real Americans' like Little Suzy can get that lolly pop.3. ReligonI don't impose on the freedom of religon like you, I allow for people to worship on whoever they want, but what I want is a more American Traditional Society where people can worship someone and that they aren't made fun of because that they are Christian. I stand up for women and I believe that they still need to be cared for in this nation before we abuse our lovely people. Many opponent also issues Sharia Law which is the very thing that I am trying to prevent in this nation .So you can see here that most of my opponents arguements here are either anit-religous and unconstitutional, or sexist.4. Equestrian SocietyMy opponent just goes on to say what he stated in his first arguement that he didn't say. It's like he's trying to go back in time to kill tthe old Massive Dump. Is this fvcker a looper? But still inorder to acwire a Utlitiarianism Utopia we need to not mutate the entire human race, because that is freaking crazy and insane. 5. The MoonWhat the senator is purposing is mass murder and genocide for Americans. I think that if we go we will die and Mr. Dump will be happier then a body builder directing traffic.6. North KoreaI agree that Kim Jong Un is a horrible evil dictator of North Korea that is abusing their people, but what I'm saying is that if we do attack them China will beat the sh*t out of us. Second of we will fall because our army will be an army of panzy ponies and will get mowed down by the Koreans and then they will rape our ponies because we would have failed. Then China will nuke us and kill everyone.So in conclusion if you value your life, don't want to get raped, and don't want to be geneticly abused.