the Insulting Challenge

Ladies and gentlemen, with no further ado, Sit back and relax as I argue with poo. Poo? You might say, Well why is that? Well it's just a red herring, To distract you from swearing. For swearing's against the rule, And I am no fool, So I hope you catch the herring They'll certainly be no rare thing. Now back to the point, the topic of now, I am here to tell you that my opponents a cow. A cow? You might say, Now that's quite confusing, But I assure you right now, My opponent isn't quite human. My opponent has gas issues as you may already know, I swear he has constipation because he never has to go. His farts, oh boy, ever do they smell, A horrible nose killing putrid that nobody can foretell. And as everyone knows, Cows do fart, You can see the similarities, It's on his father's part. As I have said before, My opponent is poo. Like father, like son, Together that's bull do. Not a very regal birth, to be born, But not everyone can choose, A birth that's so foreign. SJM, what an interesting name, Stupidity will be the cause of his fame. As for the meaning, well isn't it clear, S is for stupid, you can see if you stand near, Look in his eyes, he's not all there, They're cloudy and unfocused, he's quite dense to be fair. The look on his face says it all, His lack of intelligence will be his fall. J is for jealous, and the causes are clear, No girl would ever want to spend time with a half-deer. Oh, whoops sorry, I meant half-cow, But that's also another cause for jealousy now, I'm truly sorry and I do feel bad, That SJM has a cow for a dad. M stands for man and to make it spic and span, All together that's a Stupid Jealous Man, But wait, I see a mistake or do my eyes deceive, A bull and a human together, what do they achieve? A Minotaur of course, Poor SJM, if you're feeling miserable, your mothers the source. Now we will talk about my opponents IQ, A very worrisome topic considering his views. My opponent wants to dream big, To rake in the dough, But his dreams are too high with an IQ so low. So what is his future? What could it be? No one'll hire an imbecile who can't count to three. I guess it's decided, There's no other way, He'll be stuck as a garbage man, that's the highest pay. Though being a garbage man isn't so bad, My opponent will be wishing for all that he had. Those good old days when everything was right, When he got to play video games all through the night. Maybe that was his problem, Why he's here right now. We all know his heritage came from a cow. And cows aren't too intelligent just so you know, Maybe the gene of stupidity is why he's so slow. So IQ and all is less than three, .02 to be exact I guarantee. My opponents future has finally been decided, Now to his features that are somewhat lopsided. The nose oh boy, what can I say, Your minds are better left untainted from that if I may. But if you really do insist, here's what I'll tell, My opponent looks are a signature from hell. The look's are from mom and the horns are dads, God really messed up to making a kid this bad. But you're not at fault, Your mother's to blame, At least it wasn't a donkey who took her last name. This is the end, adieu to you all, Best luck to my opponent at being a garbage man next fall. I hear he's working, down in the slums, He'll fit in perfectly being a lazy bum. Till next time ladies and gentlemen, I will see you soon. Probably after the rising of the next moon. As to my opponent, I bid you good bye. Maybe someday you'll be, as witty as I. This is suppose to be a light and funny insult. Please don't feel offended by it. I like to rhyme as you can see.