Birdman is clearly inferior to Rob1billion

Contention 1: Is a grade ever irrelevant? Just because a grade is removed from a transcript does not absolve the fact that I aced a class that Rob failed. Contention 2: Rob did not introduce me to tennis and running. I had been doing both for years on a regular basis. And to what statistics is Rob referring to? I agree, Rob has a good overhand and slice, but my serve is clearly superior. This is why I have challenged Rob to a game for all the marbles, only then can this contention be settled. Contention 3: Robs response in round 3 still does not make sense to anyone except Rob. True, Rob is better with a guitar than I am. The difference is due to experience rather than skill. Rob has been playing guitar for over a decade whereas I have only recently picked up the instrument as a hobby. Allow me ten years Rob, then we will see who is better with their fingers! Contention 4: Reiterating my previous argument, the intention of the voice mail posted of my singing was meant as a joke and nothing more. My hilarious singing is far more interesting than Rob's blase, lukewarm version of a weak song. Did anyone happen to notice I was singing John Frusciante? At least I have better taste in music... Contention 5: This profile is still fairly new. Instead of blowing my load in 2 minutes like Rob, I prefer to take my time and carefully consider the information I put on public display. In due time, many interesting talking points as well as personal information will surface. Patience my man...lets enjoy it one day at a time. Contention 6: I love wearing headbands, bandannas, and crazy outfits. It is part of my punky and outgoing attitude. It's an easy icebreaker with the ladies and makes me more approachable to the world. If we can't play with our image, what can we play with? Hey Rob, since when is embarrassment part of the equation. 90% of the time Rob looks as goofy as I do, who is he to judge? Contention 7: Horrible story told in horrible fashion. Any shred of truth to this story is lost in all the wild exaggerations and horrible sentence structure. If a story is to be told Rob, at least make it believable and somewhat entertaining. This story cannot come close to the hilarity of the rabies story that I suddenly feel compelled to tell. This story is based on first hand accounts as told to me by Rob's roommate (Jason), live-in girlfriend (Tiffany), and girlfriends live-in little sister(Francis). The giddiness with which this story was told to me was palpable. I knew from the beginning this was going to be a source of laughter for weeks, and it surely did not disappoint. "Oh my God! Ahhhhhh! Get it out! Get it out!" Wham! Splat! The bat that flew in the house never knew what hit it. Jason put the tennis racket down and proceeded to toss the bat outside. Here Rob comes to save the day! Feelings of remorse shook Rob's entire body from the top of his head to the bottom of his hippy hair. How could Jason abuse one of nature's creatures in such an inhumane fashion? Surely the bat might still be okay, if swift action is taken. So Rob proceeded to retrieve the stunned bat and lay it out on the kitchen table. How he thought he was helpiing the poor animal we will never know. But in typical Rob fashion, his feelings of compassion quickly turned into a means of entertainment. Pulling his camera out, Rob decided to make a home video starring himself and this stunned bat. The video is complete with shots of Rob's face literally millimeters from the bat's own, scrunching and making faces that were surely meant to mimic the pug-nosed member sprawled out on the table. (I never did ask what he ended up doing with the bat.) What if the bat has rabies? Apparently, Rob thought he was safe since the bat never actually made contact with an open wound or broken skin. Boy was he wrong! After many conversations, Rob began researching rabies online and discovered that rabies could be aspirated. The seed of doubt had been planted. For the next week, all I heard about were pleas for advice. Could Rob have rabies? What should Rob do? Indecision, nervousness, and anxiety became a daily part of Rob's life as he wrestled with his inner demons. Was he in danger of death and paralysis. Could he take the chance and wait? Uninsured and in the dumps, Rob looked to me for reinforcement. Thousands of dollars were hanging in the balance. Let us keep in mind that Rob is not exactly rolling in the dough. A few thousand dollars of debt is enough to make life that much more difficult for our struggling musician. Was he willing to accept the consequences of his boneheaded mockery of a poor wounded animal? After a series of three belly shots, two thousand dollars of debt, and a testament to Rob's own ability to give the world yet another laugh, Rob is happily rabies free. For now... Contention 8: Back to tennis eh? It is true, I love rallying back from near defeat to total victory. My tenacity and trademark call "Fight to deuce!" is yet another example of my competitiveness. Rob's assertion of my continual defeat is drastically overemphasized. I lose no more in doubles tennis than anyone else. I am a great doubles tennis player. As the con, I have surely enjoyed this debate. Rob's delusional assertion of my inferiority is clearly undeserved and I am confident that the votes will back this up. I will save everyone from rehashing the ridiculous contentions hurled at my character throughout this debate and close with a smile and a handshake. I appreciate everybody paying attention to my first debate and I guarantee there will be many more to come.