A Kamikaze is a Superior Alcoholic Beverage to a Midori Sour

At a time of internationally significant elections, heightened tensions between the world's superpowers and a global economic meltdown, it would be all too easy to forget how vital sickly cocktails are in our efforts to advance civilisation! First of all, I must confess that, with the possible exception of flaming Lamborghinis and vodka Martinis, I was under the impression that all cocktails were for girls and homosexual gentlemen and being neither myself, I have not sampled either of the aforementioned concoctions. Nevertheless, my opponent's description of the beverages in question, and my own research, should prove sufficient for me to argue the case in favour of the Midori product. For the purposes of this debate, by the way, I assume that my opponent is referring to pre-mixed drinks available in bottles from all good supermarkets and liquor stores. Let's take the following scenario: You are staying at the Waldorf Astoria on Park Avenue whilst in New York on business and after a day of high-level meetings you ask the limo driver to stop by a liquor store so that you could pick up a family-sized bottle of cheap and nasty booze to drink in your room. Inside you are presented with the choice of Midori Sour, or, with its higher alcohol content, the wife-beater's choice - Kamikaze. With a post-doctorate degree in applied mathematics you quickly calculate that the latter offers more bangs per buck and you return the hotel clutching your purchase, anxious to get off your face as quickly as possible. However, having consumed the entire bottle, you have still not reached the state of alcoholic oblivion you were seeking, so you stumble down to the bar and splash out on a bottle of champagne. Suitably impressed by your extravagance, a blond stunner approaches you and asks if the stool next to you is free. You reply in the affirmative and ask her to join you for a drink. Now, as everybody knows, champagne goes straight to a girl's ***** and it's not long before she's frothing at the ****, begging you to take her upstairs. However, the champagne has gone straight to your head and just as the girl slips off her dress, revealing her delightfully pert breasts, you collapse onto the bed in a drunken stupor and the next thing you know it is the morning and there's no sign of the girl. At breakfast you meet a business associate who is staying at the same hotel and he is looking like the cat that got the cream. He explains to you that the previous night he popped out to the liquor store and purchased a bottle of Midori Sour, which he had drunk on a bench in the bus station. Having finished it, he returned to the hotel and decided to have a quick beer in the bar before retiring to bed. You then learn that moments after taking a seat at the bar, a n angry-looking blond girl came and took a seat next to him, ordered herself a drink and told him how she had just been jilted by a man that fell asleep while she was undressing. The executive then related how they had ended up in his room making mad passionate love until dawn. In choosing Kamikaze over the Midori Sour you realise that you have missed the opportunity to have a night of mad, passionate love with a top bit of totty and for this reason I believe that it is the Midori Sour that is the superior beverage.