Animal Testing (Joke Debate)

"My opponent as stated drugs ought not to be tested on animals, but on the scummy underbelly of society (the homeless, prisoners, rapists, etc. ). However, does my opponent really think this is a good idea? " Yes, she does. "Should Hugo Boss really get the common tramp at the side of the street to test out their new line of suits and colognes? " Why not? "The poor are poor for a reason, the last thing we need is for them to be prancing around our nation wearing the latest fashion trends and smelling like a summer breeze, defeating their purpose of looking pitiful and making the middle class feel superior. " Ah see you misunderstand the reason of the poor being poor. Let me explain. Once one is rich their purpose is to help pay for others, once one is poor their purpose is to help us find out what's safe, and what's not. I do not argue that the poor are poor for a reason, they are poor to make the middle class feel better, by testing out products they want to buy. The homeless use their propaganda to make normal middle class citizens to give them everything, while they don't even work, and if they do nothing productive. ( . http://www.google.com... ) Who needs a car wash anyway? Testing on the homeless gives you just the right shade, while at the same time helping you conscience. "By doing so ware also removing a huge comical aspect from society. No more will be the pictures of monkey butlers. not only would companies such as Hugo Boss get reliable feedback of the suit in terms of handling banana stains, tree branches and the limit of the excrement it can contain, will also give them the opportunity to get hilarious pictures of these animals wearing these outfits. I challenge the audience and my opponent to not smirk when they view this photo: . http://cheekspopov.com...; My opponent believes that by taking animals out of the testing no one will dress up monkeys or use photoshop ever again? I believe people would still keep the comedic effect without endangering poor animals to what the homeless should undergo. In fact seeing homeless people test out your products may even ad to the comedic industry. "As for medical testing, many tests, especially vaccines where the disease is injected into the the person, can be deadly. " Reason for using prisoners, mostly ones sentenced to death or life. Plus who gives a flying f*ck about murderers? You think the mother of the victim would be upset that the criminal died testing possible cures for AIDS which her youngest son got because a doctor screwed up? The criminal should die a death that saves them of their sins. Not against any God, if he's a murderer with religion he's most likely Christian and will most likely be saved anyway, but his sins to society. "If prisoners are given the experimental BUMFUN Anti-AIDS vaccine, and get AIDS, the company will be hammered with lawsuits. " Prisoners would lose all rights under this system and instead we will poor bleach into their eyes. The ones that do not die from testing would then be placed to boil so that we can compare their body to that of a normal person that was not tested on that was also put to boil their skin off. They'd have no right to life either way. "Should a rabbit be given AIDS through this vaccine, it would be enjoyable to see the rabbit comforted by it's family rejected by its lover, go through depression, become a drug addict and eventually commit suicide,seeing as everything a rabbit does is about 10x cuter. " That may seem amusing at first but imagine the horrors of a hobo bunny, it would be 10x worse than bugs bunny! This outrageous stop, AIDS leads to hoboism which is dangerous for anyone to see because it activates the part of your brain that shouldn't exist. Hobos are taking over our minds, they are to blame for tragedies all over the world such as global warming, poverty, depression, Justin Beiber, worthlessness, and 9/11. We must prevent the spread of hoboism to our cute bunny societies because then the hobo bunnies would produce 7 hobo bunnies at a time! The hobos would multiply in them so we must instead use criminals so that this deadly disease in society can be cured. It would be hilarious to watch a prison KING instead wear the make up and be humiliated. As far as the queens go perhaps we should use them in AIDS testing too anyway. Oh sure they should work hard, they should have to test products run as fast as they can work as hard as they can, all in the name of testing products effectiveness. What if you had more productive hom/bo prisoners? They would be even greater then the slave now a days. Medical costs are irrelevant seeing as how the prisoners under my system of being tested, would lose all legal rights to a doctor unless they can pay out of pocket. My opponent argues that people fight more than humans, which is easier bribing a guy with some money or capturing and attacking a cat? Just this morning I said hi to one of my feline friends I picked her up we had a nice conversation but the kids scared her. I went after her and could not catch her. I know many have that problem so I think using hypnosis or bribing with counterfeit money would be more effective and provide more accurate results. Saving the world by cleaning up the country, best way to go!