It should be legal to sell cytoplasmic hybrid animals to the general public

For example, Cardinal Keith O'Brien, the head of the Catholic Church in Scotland, chillingling described the type of work we are engaged in as "experiments of Frankenstein proportions". (1) For this reason Eggleston's Ethical Enterprises is now based out of a top secret loboratory in North Korea and here is a satelite image of the facility in order to prove it actually exists: . http://maps.google.co.uk... It is our need for absolute secrecy, by the way, that is the reason Eggleston's Ethical Enterprises doesn't show up on Western search engines. However, if you go to the state-run North Korean search engine: . http://www.dprksearch.net... and type in "Eggleston's Ethical Enterprises top secret laboratory located 5km northeast of Kil-Ju" using Korean characters you will find more relevant results (I would give you more details but, unfortunately, this site doesn't support Korean characters). Also, I should like to say point out that our employees are, indeed good people, and in the case of young research assistants like Tatiana, very good indeed. . http://i.zdnet.com... Tatiana setting up a top secret experiment at Eggleston's Ethical Enterprises secret lab yesterday Regarding my opponent's suggestion that these hybrids would be almost indistinguishable from humans or orang-utans, I'm afraid I must contradict him. Although it is true they would be either 99.9% orang-utan or human, that 0.1% makes all the difference. After all, chimpanzees share 99.4% of their DNA with humans (2) but you would agree, I'm sure, that chimps shouldn't be afforded human rights. And anyway, anything that isn't 100% human isn't human at all. "Human-like", perhaps. I mean, you can't sell cartons of "Pure Orange Juice" unless it contains 100% orange juice. Even if only 0.1% of it is rainwater and spit, it still has to be called "Orange Flavour Drink". Incedentally, both Oranghuman™ and Humanutan™ are trademarks: unregistered trademarks. Registered trademarks use the symbol ï¿½ rather than ™. (3) Now to defend my contentions regarding the possible uses of these animals: It is true that, initially, the introdcution of cybrids into the workplace will create some unemployment. However, manufacturing industries in the West have been in gradual decline for years because they cannot compete with the low wage economies of countries like India and China. These people need to be re-trained to do skilled jobs. Otherwise they could become comedians like Bobby Ball (out of Cannon and Ball) and Ed Large (out of Little and Large), both of whom were thrown onto the scrapheap when Margaret "the milk-snatcher" Thatcher closed down all the heavy industries up North. Furthermore, I don't accept that these cybrids will be inherently badly-behaved as my opponent suggests. Take the example of sheepdogs: they are very obedient and well behaved and they perform very complex tasks and they are less intelligent even than Oranghumans™. I do accept, however, that Humanutans™ might be mistaken for chavs, but surely this is a good thing? As chavs don't usually have jobs and just sponge off the dole instead, if they were rounded up by pest control officers who mistook them for cybrids and were then either sold off to the highest bidder or put down, the taxpayer would save a fortune in unemployment and housing benefits and we would also rid the streets of unruly yobs. It is an interesting thought that cybrids and humans could interbreed, though, and that this could result in a Planet of the Apes type scenario. Did you know, by the way, that Helena Bonham Carter had to spend six hours in make-up prior to each shoot in that film? . http://img5.allocine.fr... Helena Bonham Carter playing one of the monkeys in Planet of the Apes What a ridiculous waste of time and money! If I were in charge of casting for that film I would have hired that woman that plays Gail out of Coronation Street because she wouldn't have needed any make-up at all! . http://corrie.emmerdale.org... That woman that plays Gail out of Coronation Street However, I doubt this nightmare scenario would ever materialise. After all, this type of sexual deviancy is rife in Norfolk (a rural English county stereotypically associated with inbreeding) yet the result is merely a mentally-challenged population most of whom are incapable of taking care of themselves much less taking over the world! (Did you know, by the way, that the medical slang term "NFN" to mean idiotic comes from "Normal For Norfolk"? (4)) Overall, I think my opponent has raised some valid concerns over cybrids potential shortcomings and I would have to concede that they would not be for everybody. Some people own dogs and fail to look after them properly: they don't feed or walk them enough and instead of training them they are violent with them when they misbehave. The result of this is a dog that is viscous and a danger to children and I suppose the same could happen with cybrids if they fell into the wrong hands. However, in the hands of caring and responsible owners Eggleston's Ethical Enterprises Oranghumans™ and Humanutans™ would make fine pets, mercenaries or manual workers. Thank you. (1) . http://www.timesonline.co.uk... (2) . http://news.bbc.co.uk... (3) . http://en.wikipedia.org... (4) . http://en.wikipedia.org...