Soccer should be made into a full contact sport with metal armor and tasers

1) The poor application of the word "athletes" to soccer players" It's a classy sport because we-"AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH, Classy???? How the f*ck is soccer classy?"soccer fans appreciate technique and skill above flashy lights and big numbers"So soccer fans riot after games because the classiness of the game is overwhelming and not because it ended in a 0-0 tie? Ill call bullsh*t"We can truly appreciate a sport for what it is: a sport to be enjoyed for it's full duration because of what it is"BORING AS SH*T" Soccer is not for those who can't pay attention to something for less than two seconds. "Or for people who cant pay attention for two minutes, or four minutes, or forty minutes, or an hour, or two hours, or three hours either. The only reason soccer is so popular in other countries is because other countries only have like four TV channels, three of which are run by the government, and the last one is for sports. But because countries are broke as sh*t soccer is the only sport they can play and the only sport that can chew up an entire day in poor countries. Soccer isnt classy or popular, its watched because countries are too poor to play anything else, but its so long its the only thing they ever see on TV and they are brainwashed into liking it due to a lack of another sport to like. ========================================================================================================================================================1) Metal Armor"Running around like little pretend knights in a game of LARP isn't going to make the sport more entertaining: it would make it harder to watch. Your plan is flawed."Yes because sports in America that require the use of pads dont do well at all like Baseball or Football or Hockey, oh wait, thats right.....Metal armor might not be the best choice, but soccer players should still wear armor nonetheless. 2) Anything goes"didn't you just say below a couple of rules that we couldn't break out into fights? WTF! I call bullsh*t."You can kick someone in the throat, all you have to do is not go in an all out fight because then soccer loses the meaning of the game, which has already been lost quite a bit caused from how boring as f*ck soccer is3) Steel Toed Shoes"If anything, this gives players a feasible excuse to flop on the ground to grab the call, claiming that they were "injured by the steel toe kicking the back of their shin. Your plan is flawed again, good sir."Thats what the metal armor is for!!! With steel toed shoes soccer ladies wont be able to cry when someone steps on their foot because they too will be wearing steel toed shoes to protect their feet, and because the armor will protect everything else. 4) No more immediate medical assistance"Didn't you say that all players do is fake being injured? So why would they need medical care to begin with?"95% of injuries are faked, and they are faked because the players know they will be immediately attended to if they fake it good enough. But if there isnt immediate care then players wont pull stupid sh*t anymore and preserve any "class" the sport has left. 5) Goalies with Tasers" shooting someone with a taser has absolutely no class."Its not meant to be classy its meant to be funny as f*ck to watch and make the sport interesting. Maybe the Con would prefer if soccer was played by everyone wearing Armani Suits, top hats, pocket watches, and looked like the monopoly guy.....6) Full contact between soccer playersDropped. Its like hockey Con, you can knock a guy on his a** just dont fight him. 7) No All out FightingDropped, same argument as above....8) Renaming teamsDropped, honorably9) American teams only"But you never specify which gender, which means that both male and female soccer teams are included under this rule."Allow me to clarify, this will only be applied to American men's soccer teams. Back to you Con ;D