Plants Should Have the Right to Vote

Is the table that the Declaration of Independance was signed on not an American?Was the seat that our first President - Mr. President George Washington sat upon not an American?The answer to both of these questions is yes, they were born here in the USA, so what denies them the rights GUARANTEED by the 14th amendment?Contention 1. Plants have the capacity to choose.According to research out of the Inhabitant, plants have the capacity to communicate with eachother through a series of 'clicks', when danger is present (such as a herbivore), or, if the ocassion arose, when they wish to vote for a particular candidate to represent them in the office of President, or in the House of Representatives or the Senate [1]. I understand that this is a technical contention, not a morality/ethical one, so I'll just keep this point short.Contention 2. Discrimination against a sentient being has a negative effect on them.Let us use this logical conclusion to figure out if this is true: Premise I: Discriminating against a man on the basis that he is a man effects him negatively [2] Premise II: We ought to not discriminate against those that are negatively impacted by the discrimination, in terms of morals and ethics Premise III: Discrimination leads to a lack of natural rights (e.g. right to life, a right to vote), because bigotry and hate speech are more welcomed with more discrimination Premise IV: Giving rights to a group leads to less discrimination (because there is less of a way to use bigotry against the group) Conclusion I: We ought to not discriminate against a man on the basis that he is a man, and secure him his rights to prevent future discrimination (Using premises I->IV) Premise V: Discriminating against a plant on the basis that it is a plant effects the plant negatively Conclusion II: We ought to not discriminate against a plant on the basis that it is a plant, and secure it its rights to prevent future discrimination (Using premises II->IV and V) Contention 3. Upholds the idea of representative democracy"Representative Democracy comprises a form of democracy wherein voters [could be plants!] choose representatives to act in their interests..." [3].Let me make a logical conclusion from this definition. Premise I: ALL plants have things that are in their own interests [4] Premise II: Representative Democracy is built on the idea of giving the right to vote to groups that need to have a representative act in their interests [3] Conclusion I: To uphold the idea of representative democracy, we should give plants the right to vote for representatives to act in their interests. So if we want to uphold the idea of a representative democracy for the United States (which, yes, this debate is on the idea that we should uphold representative democracy, thanks), we have to give plants the right to vote NOW, otherwise the government does not have a valid reason to exist as a whole. Contention 4. This will solve the self-identity crisis that is currently affecting our tomatoes.Currently, there is still a large debate over whether tomatoes are fruits or vegetables [5][6][7][8][9][10][11][12][13]. By giving plants, and more specifically the tomato plant, the right to vote, we would be allowing them to make decision to themselves that only affect them, and letting them decide once and for all whether to put FRUIT or VEGETABLE as their race for college applications.We would be recognizing that there is a controversy around the self identity of the tomato plant, and would be trying to solve this societal issue at its very roots (plant pun intended). [1]. http://inhabitat.com...;[2]. http://www.goodtherapy.org...[3]. http://encyclopedia.kids.net.au...[4]. http://www.ekah.admin.ch...[5]. http://www.npr.org...[6]. http://www.oxforddictionaries.com...[7]. http://wonderopolis.org...[8]. http://mentalfloss.com...[9]. http://www.burpee.com...;(look at that link... classified under vegetables!!)[10]. http://sciencebob.com...[11]. http://en.wikipedia.org...;(even wikipedia has the debate!)[12]. http://en.wikipedia.org...[13]. http://theplate.nationalgeographic.com...Thank you, back to you, CON.