As a parent you should NOT punish your kids.

As a parent, I would simply state to my child the pros and cons of a situation, and let my kid decide what to do. I would never enforce anything, because think about it-- either way, you are going to do something regardless of what your parents say if you really want to do it, right? And when you make the wrong choice, you are punished by the universe (and then you come home and are unnecessarily punished yet again). Either my child will learn from his mistakes or keep getting punished (not by me, by his own actions). I dare say, most kids would learn much quicker that way. And he would actually LEARN it instead of just think, "Ugh, I don't want to get grounded so I won't do this.. But I bet it would be sooo much fun, so I'll do it later when my parents are gone." (Something like that.)Also, your kid's life would be stressful enough without having you breathing down his throat. Look at these scenarios: Scenario 1: Your daughter loses her virginity at 11 (she never talked to you about it first, of course, because she knew you'd lecture her). Her boyfriend breaks up with her 2 weeks later. She is called a slut, whore, and knows she was being used. She is angry, confused, but most of all, incredibly hurt. She comes home, unaware that you have found some notes from her ex about how they had sex. You yell at her and tell her a bajillion reasons why what she did was horrific. Nothing you say is new to her, of course-- she KNOWS sex at such a young age (without protection too!) is bad. The girl's in middle school. You ground her and take away her iPod and phone. Now she feels even worse. Of course, within a year, or even a couple years, she goes and makes the same mistake again. Or... she learns from it and never does it again. But at present, while you are yelling at her, you don't know which it'll be. It doesn't matter anyway, because you've already made her feel worse; added to her pain. Her decisions in the future about sex will have mostly nothing to do with your punishment. It will be about how she feels about herself, the way she felt, and the way she will feel when confronted with the same situation. She wouldn't even remember to think of you in that moment. Therefore, your punishment was rendered almost completely useless. Second Scenario: Your daughter is 11 and thinking about losing her virginity to her boyfriend of 2 months. Of course, she casually asks you all about it, because all her life you have never freaked out on her. You gently tell her why you believe she is making the wrong decision, and give her the many cons and the few pros of her problem, but otherwise leave it at that. Her curiosity gets the best of her, however, and so she loses her virginity. Her boyfriend breaks up with her 2 weeks later. She is called a slut, whore, and knows she was being used. She is angry, confused, but most of all, incredibly hurt. She comes home, glad to have you to talk to. You reassure her everything will be alright and that there are plenty of girls who make the same mistake, and you reassure her that she is not a freak and is perfectly "normal." You tell her that she is now wiser for it, and hope to yourself that she has really learned her lesson. But really, you don't know which it'll be. It doesn't matter anyway, because either way you have not added to her stress. Her decisions in the future about sex will have mostly nothing to do with you. It would be about how she feels about her past and her present. She would be so absorbed in what she is doing RIGHT THEN that she wouldn't even think about you once. Therefore, your lack of punishment only helped. **************************I would just be there to guide my kids and that would be that. I would be supportive and easygoing and a friend above all else, but never a nagging, whiny and feared mother. I want to be the type of parent my child goes to for advice, no matter the situation. I also know plenty of kids who would just do the opposite of what their parents said to rebel. Would you want that kind of child? So, in general, I believe my parenting style would work the best on any type of child. It would certainly decrease the "I hate my parents!" rant from coming out of your child's mouth. Because no matter what happens to them, they know they can never really blame you. You told them the pros/cons of their actions in a polite manner and let them make their own informed decisions. You played your part in parenthood.