storytelling debate

Thankyou for accepting! In this world, there is a heaven and there is a hell. Of course, when you're young, you don't really think about the future too much. I, for one, did not. I called myself a rebel, my teachers called me a problem child. I never went to school on time, if I went at all, and I was always rude to my teachers. After School I would go to the arcade with friends and waste away my parents money; quarter by quarter. In 6th grade I joined a small gang, but luckily we consisted to a small group of tame, spoiled children and our crimes were not too harsh (otherwise redemption might have been impossible). Every Saturday we would go on a "raid", with meant running throughout the neighborhood stealing, breaking, and yelling insults at late night walkers. We were wannabes, and just like many other young boys, the so called "dark side" seemed way cooler than the goody two shoe world of heaven. We used to bid each other goodbye by yelling out "see you in hell!". They don't teach you anything until high school. Ever since I remember, people have always been drawn to me. A friend, Joe, once told me that I always knew what to say. In 8th grade our old leader retired, and I was nominated leader. By then, I was bored of this game and I too, wanted to quit. Sure, they were pissed; but like I said we were "tame". I got out of there scot free and soon the whole gang dispersed (much to our parent's delight). "Gang activities" turned into late night gaming sessions, and in this way we kept in touch. Years flew by and because of my higher than average intelligence (but mostly my parents connections), I got into a college. There, my life changed in chemistry 101. I saw her two rows down, one seat to the left. wavy, strawberry blond hair that caressed her shoulders and for a moment, I truly thought that I was in the presence of an angel. A friend introduced me to her a month later and I asked her out not too long after; she accepted. I was so elated I spent the rest of the day on my bed, smiling at the ceiling. Everything felt like a roller coaster from there, and I felt like I could tell her anything. I told her about my past, and she understood. I told her about my lack of future, and she listened. I told her I loved her, and five years later we got married. We never did have children, but the world was perfect, just the two of us. Later, it was inevitable that old worries long buried away would arise again. My tract record was not good, and I knew her's was perfect. I was not satisfied in being with her only in life, I needed to be with her in death too. I spent the rest of my years working day and night, for the good of the society. I did charity, I picked up litter, I hugged so many crying women that my arms feel sore just thinking about it. I came home late, and everyday, she was there, waiting for me. I was the first to go, as men often are. Each step up the golden staircase I prayed, and prayed, and prayed. I saw others praying, sobbing their way up. The steps were almost slippery with tears (although not an ounce of grit seemed to mar its shine). Finally I arrived at the golden gates, and behold they opened for me! I walked in and I was astounded by the beauty of heaven, but I dared tread further in. Instead I turned around and once again faced the gates. I sat down with all temptations behind me, and waited. I will wait to enjoy our new world, with her.