Idiot Republican vs. Democrat Debate

Contention 1: Taxing the Rich. We cannot tax the rich, because the rich make us jobs for the poor people. This is taking away people's homes, food, and money, so supporting taxing rich people is supporting making kids homeless and that's just sick! Do you ever wounder why Africa and people in China is so poor? It's because they barely have any rich people, that's why there are famines in Africa causing kids to starve to death so if you support taxing the rich then you support making kids starve. Contention 2: Legalizing Abortion Do you ever wounder why everyone that supports abortion hasn't been aborted? It's because their mother's decided to go with the Pro-Life route and they listened to their babies and decided not to be heathens and abort their children. Also if this is legal you could abort someone that will be important in the future that could cure cancer or AIDs or might even be the next President. If you also support abortion then you don't support the Constitution, because the Constitution says we have the Right to Life. MEANING ABORTION IS UNCONSTITUTIONIAL. Contention 3: Drugs Drugs aren't cool man. They make you fat, because they give you the munchies. Hence why Mexico is the fattest nation in the world is because they do a lot of drugs and eat a lot of tacos because they're always high. They can make you wacked in the head and make you think that you can fly like Superman, but really you just fall to the ground and slatter like a bug on a windshield. Look at Mario, he does shrooms all the time and you know half of the crazy stuff he seas, who knows if Princecess Peach is really just some old hag. Contention 4: Illegal Immigration Do you even wounder why Mexico is now the fattest nation in the world? It's because all the skinny ones ran and jumped the fense. You also see that all the Mexicans left in Mexico are just sitting around all day smoking pot like Cheech and Cong and also eating a lot of tacos, because they got the munchies. Also all the Mexicans that jump over the fense take our jobs. If you look at the South Park news we can see that those illegals came over here and "Took Our JOBS!" Contention 5: Gay Marriage We can't legalize gay marriage, because it's against the Bible and the Bible is the one true book that everyone should believe in and if you don't then you're wrong and need to check yourself. Also if we legalize gay marrage then all the straight people will have to break up with each other and we will be tearing apart good loving families and this will hurt the children, because then the children will be gay and then you'll make everyone in the world gay. Contention 6: Legalizing Everything We can't legalize everything, because that's a sin. You have to ask yourself what would Jesus do? Would Jesus steal a car? Would Jesus kill someone? Would Jesus rape you? If the answer is no then it shouldn't be legal. Contention 7: Gun Control Sandy Hooks was a conspiracy set up by the democrats so they could take away our guns and Obama could create a New World Order where he enslaves all of humanity. We have guns to protect us from bad guys and if a bad guy breaks into our house and threatens to rape and kill your family then what are you going to do without a gun? Tickle him to death. Contention 8: Contentions and Logic I am smarter than my opponent because my name starts with a L and his starts with a U that means I'm smarter, because my letter comes first in the alphabet. Plus I've been here longer and have more expierence so you can trust me over that crusty old American Hating Liberal. Back to you Con.