The game of G--f ought to be eliminated.

With many thanks to Chrysippus for this posing this most interesting challenge, I should like to begin by reminding the voters of the huge benefit golf clubs provide to (upper class) members of (high) society. Because membership of golf clubs is usually very expensive, it precludes any proles, riff-raff, oiks, chavs, skulking loafers, people that might appear as guests on The Jerry Springer Show and other frightfully common people from joining, and thus, spoiling the sport for the toffs, snobs, aristocrats and the other particularly posh people who are rich enough to become members. Thus, golf provides an oasis of wealth and prosperity where investment bankers can get inside information on forthcoming mergers and acquisitions; where property developers can ‘discuss the merits' of their planning applications with influential politicians and ‘buy them a drink' in acknowledgment of their ‘kind understanding' and where other discussions of a delicate nature can take place: a golf course provides a discrete environment away from any envious peasants, prying left-wing journalists and nosey tax inspectors. Where else would this be possible? Maybe an exclusive yacht club, but what about oil barons, property tycoons, steel magnates and media moguls who don't live by the sea? Where would they do their under-the-counter deals if golf clubs were banned? Now, to address my opponent's points in turn: 1 – Health and Safety. ------------------------- Golf is not a sport for poor people. For example: Yellowstone Club World Membership costs $4-10 million and this is in addition to green fees, annual dues and minimum dining fees that run into hundreds of thousands of dollars per year. [1] This means that golfers can generally afford to spend money on employing fawning lackeys (which they call "caddies") to carry their gear, drive their golf karts and protect them from rain or sun with an umbrella. And there is little danger to golfers from stray golf balls, by the way. Indeed, in recent years, only one professional has been badly injured in connection with golf: that was Tiger Woods in 2009 and it wasn't a golf ball that injured him, it was a 9-iron golf club that his wife wrapped round his head after she found out he'd been getting his end away with some cheap floozy on the sly. [2] It is true that golf balls and roads don't mix, however, but that's why golf clubs use their super-rich members' influence and power to ensure they don't. For example, when a new dual-carriageway (highway) was proposed to link London with Ramsgate in Kent, the route took it straight across Chesterfield Golf Club. Incensed, the club's members used their political connections to force the Highways Agency to route the new road, at huge extra expense to the taxpayer, through a tunnel beneath the golf course. Still, there were concerns that stray golf balls may hit vehicles as they entered the tunnels so every time a player tees off on the fairway above the road, the traffic is forced to stop and wait at automated traffic signals while the player takes his shot. [3,4] 2 – Clothing -------------- It is also true that golfers' clothes are pretty atrocious, there's no denying that: and clearly most golfers have more money than taste; but still they are confined to their golf clubs where few people can be offended by their garish attire. Not like chavs, who hang around the streets in hideously ugly clothes in full sight of small children and nervous old ladies. [5,6,7,8,9,10] In conclusion, the mega-rich are human beings and they have human rights just like anyone else and, therefore, they should not be denied the freedom to go to golf clubs to show off how wealthy they are or to do dodgy business deals or, occasionally, play a round or two of golf. Thank you. [1] http://www.forbes.com... [2] http://www.thesun.co.uk... [3] http://www.geograph.org.uk... [4] http://maps.google.com... [5] http://www.motifake.com... [6] http://www.cslacker.com... [7] http://blogs.warwick.ac.uk... [8] http://i.telegraph.co.uk... [9] http://www.millwall.vitalfootball.co.uk... [10] http://richandcreamy.typepad.com...