Presidential Debate: Peter Griffin vs Eric Cartman

This is the guy Im running for president against? Jesus, he looks like an over-inflated version of Sarah Palin's down syndrome kid..... ......... Anyways, My name is Peter Griffin, and im an alcoholic. Im the good kind of alcoholic though, not the bad kind. Im the kind of alcoholic who only looks like hes drunk but hes not because hes just tired from drinking so much... Or the kind of alcoholic who drinks so that the Statue of Liberty would take her clothes off......Im not the kind of alcoholic who gets drunk and then breaks up with his girlfriend for not being in the kitchen like she should be...... On a separate note, why is it that when the kid from that youtube song "Somebody I used to know" paints himself naked to watch people, its called being artistic, but when I do the exact same thing when im hammered I end up getting banned from Baskin Robbins??? Yeah, that seems fair..... You may go ahead and ask the questions you have Mr Tebow. ==========================================================================Ok then, lets get down to the debate. The first 3 questions will be about domestic policy. *peter griffin yells "oh my god, who, the hell, cares?"*Lannan13 asks, "I am a huge fan of gun control, and with the Connecticut school shooting still fresh in everybody's mind, gun control is a big issue now. What is your stance on gun control?"RoyLatham asks "Ive been watching candidates campaign for president ever since I turned 13 in the year 1822, and none of them have ever been able to fight back against outsourcing without doing unnecessary damage to American businesses, what is your solution to fighting against outsourcing while preserving the American free market?"And Cody Franklin asks "I know this isnt really related to domestic policy in any sort of way, but i still feel it is important and relevant to who would make the better president and who should get my vote. In my analysis of past presidential candidates, a number of them failed to posses specific qualities that makes them the best kind of person to have in the White House, while others who do not have these qualities that do become president often have harmful and terms that the public disapproves of. These qualities are found in typic- *3 hours later...* -so what im asking is, How will your religious views affect your presidential stances and define your presidency? ==========================================================================Ok to answer Lannan's question, the school shooting was very tragic and we should mourn those who passed away prematurely in the shooting. But let me just point out that I actively tried to stop the shooting whereas my opponent did not. See the clip above for proof of my heroic attempt to try to stop the school shooting. http://www.youtube.com...As for my policy on gun control, I like guns. They come in handy, and what kills you makes you stronger, like that song by Kelly Clarkson... However I do see the merits of why we should look into gun control. Look at England, they have the one of the tightest forms of gun control of any country and the only thing they have to deal with is drive by arguments.... Gun control seems to work, but its a conflict of interest for me because I also think that if everyone was armed that would also work........ I mean it seems to work very well in somalia, so why not? Now Roy asked what I would do to stop outsourcing yet not harm businesses, which is an excellent question because outsourcing is a problem. The first thing we need to do is buy American products, which I believe are down to cheeseburgers and porn. I frequently buy american cheesburgers and american porn and in doing so I am fighting against outsourcing. But how do we stop other industries from outsourcing or get jobs that already went overseas to come back to America? There is a solution to this problem, and I must say myself that it is rather genius. Its an idea so smart, my head would explode if I even began to know what I was talking about.... Lastly there was Cody's question, who basically ask how my religious beliefs will impact my presidency. Now religion is a huge part of everyones life, and religion is a huge part of my life too. I dont read the Bible much because I work all the time, but my favorite story form the Bible is the one where Jesus swallows the puzzle piece and the man in the yellow hat has to take him to the hospital.... I myself am Irish Catholic but my wife is Protestant, my dog is a snobby atheist, my oldest son is an idiot, my youngest son is gay, and shut up Meg....... I am exposed to a lot of religious beliefs and philosophies on a regular basis but my motto is that you can believe in whatever you want as long as you dont force it on others. Because you know what that makes you when you force yourself onto others? A rapist... And I promise I will not rape America with my religion OR my penis. The only thing I will ask Americans though is.... Havent you heard about the bird?A-well-a, bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the wordA-well-a, bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the wordA-well-a, bird, bird, b-bird's the wordA-well-a, bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the wordA-well-a, bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the wordA-well-a, bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the wordA-well-a, bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the wordA-well-a, don't you know about the birdWell, everybody's talking about the birdA-well-a, bird, bird, b-bird's the wordA-well-a, bird(Suuuuuuuur-fiiiiiiin' Biiiiiiiiiiiiird)Bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbadffasjdaiofjawcniszfjnisjnxcsijgszcfakjnzkgluxvdgncasnrdvgnuvdkzfcsnflvzkdâ—ŠgnvlshrzvdgckszlazbflnbxcgnflsxudczxhagunhuighcuidufdzkxhdfckdsnzCIFlnmsnugnisdzvncxaaaaaaaaaaPa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-paPa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-ooma-mow-mowPapa-ooma-mow-mowPapa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mowPapa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mowOoma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mowPapa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mowPapa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mowOom-oom-oom-oom-ooma-mow-mow....Thats all I have to say about that. There is one last thing I would like to say before I cede my time to my opponent. Testicles........