The Fruit on Meloncat's Head is a Melon, Not a Grapefruit

The Grapefruit Story FallacyI would like to begin by saying that my opponent's story about the creation of the grapefruit is completely true. However, he leaves one important detail out: THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF GRAPEFRUITS. One are the green ones. They are high in sugar content, and Isus feeds them to Oprah so he can chuckle at her girth: Sadly, Oprah's gotten fat again. Too many green grapefruits. The other type is the mutated, sour, disgustingly revolting orange colored ones (seriously, have you ever had those? They are horrible! ): Ugh, does that not just want to make you vomit with all its bright fruity nastiness. That is clearly not the fruit on Meloncat's head. However, how do we prove that the fruit on Meloncat's head is not a green grapefruit? As has been established, Isus uses green grapefruits to make Oprah fat so he can laugh at her. However, EVERYONE LOVES OPRAH. When she gains girth, people are sad. This means that green grapefruits are a weapon of EVIL. Meloncat is not evil. Meloncat just gets pissed off when people are too lazy to give them his kibble. He is a bastion of good. Therefore, as a melon: is of the same color, we can conclude it is a melon on Meloncat's head. However, that begs the question: how did the melon get there, and what is its significance? The Story of MeloncatOnce, Meloncat was just a regular cat (I know, I know, it's unbelievable, just bear with me). His name was Sir Fluffles Meowmeow Victor Romero the Third. He lived with a human named Timothy Bumblestock, an enormous nerd with no social potential whatsoever. None. At. All. While Sir Fluffles Meowmeow Victor Romero the Third languished in the torture of living with this bumbling baffoon, Timothy Bumblestick pursued the advances of the hottest girl in town. Because he was butt-ugly, he decided to create a hat that would give him ultimate control OF THE WHOLE UNIVERSE to impress her. As he was almost finished with his work, he realized he would need a living thing to become his hat. He dashed opstairs and grabbed a melon that he never ate, because fruit sucks. Candy is way better. After the melon was completed, Timothy Bumblestock had control OF THE WHOLE UNIVERSE. So he ran upstairs, set the melonhat down, and called up the girl to see if she would come over. Sir Fluffles Meowmeow Victor Romero the Third, meanwhile, was hungry as f*ck. He hadn't eaten all day! When he spotted the Fancy Feast on the table, he absolutely had to try and get it. Sir Fluffles Meowmeow Victor Romero the Third's reaction the the Fancy Feast. Sir Fluffles Meowmeow Victor Romero the Third's attempt to grab the Fancy Feast was successful. However, in knocking it off the counter, he knocked the melonhat off the counter, too. It landed on his delicate head and he became MELONCAT, ALL POWERFUL. His first action was to destory utterly Timothy Bumblestock, who was a drain on the world's resources and would never get the girl. He then built an island, upon which he built a palace filled with Fancy Feast, in the middle of the Mermuda Triangle. His presence causes all the disappearances, as the sailors become mermerized by Meloncat's presence and just stare at his palace. This is the story of how Meloncat became to be the all-powerful ninjawarriorsamuraibosspantskitty he is today. We have proven it is a melon that gives Meloncat his powers, and not some demonic fruit meant to make Oprah fat. All hail MELONCAT! ! !