The Flying Spaghetti Monster is causing Global Warming

Defence of Argument: 'As we all know the government controls Nasa, and all the government wants to do is keep our fellow americans away from his noodly goodness! This is porven further in your 4th and last contention, when you tried to use a court ruling to prove the FSM (sauce be upon him), was scientific evidence for his non-existence! If this is all that is needed for scientific evidence, then I suppose vaccines must cause autism.'NASA is actually an independent agency--just because it is government funded (in the same way most social programs are), it doesn't make the source used devoid of validity. Carbon Dioxide is probably the most widely-known gas out of the four mentioned, and the one most associated with global warming. ********************'It is important here to make clear what we mean by piracy. The good name of piracy has taken a fair battering over the years, not least recently. What was once a shining example of humour, charity and sensible environmental planning has become muddied by a succession of underhand tactics. First and foremost it is important to defend the reputation of the pirates of Captain Jack Sparrow's day. Advocates of freedom, both in action and thought, and devoted followers of FSM, they were unsurprisingly resented by the establishment. In attempt to damage their reputation, the Christians used propaganda to associate them with those seaborne menaces of old, to whom the name of piracy has consequently been attached. As a result, the pirates were spoken of in the same breath as the vikings and so many other unsavoury peoples. The actions of modern day “pirates” in speedboats with machine guns has only served to reinforce this connection. More recently the name of piracy has sunk even lower through its attachment to the practice of copyright infringement. To avoid confusion, such people who have either masqueraded under the name of piracy or had it wrongly thrust upon them will be referred to as pseudo-pirates. We have no wish to associate with such people and only hope that through our own actions the name of piracy will be recovered from infamy after so many years.' Pro here is referring to my 'pirates are bad for health' contention--but he fails to address key points within it. In referencing some individual cases (an old one and a modern one), I've shown that pirates are indeed bad to health--on the basis that they emotionally and physically torture their victims. For example, when modern-day pirates kidnap someone and hold them for ransom; that person is bound to be emotionally scarred; these pirates always steal the persons belongings as well, thus potentially ruining their victims' ability to trust other people forever. For all we know, people could turn into serial killers upon being kidnapped by or coming into contact with pirates, due to the stress and psychological damage that they incur from the experience. They may also become drug addicts, or prostitutes...or both. I'm not sure if this particular individual has become a serial killer, drug addict or prostitute post-pirate terror, but here is an excerpt from their story: 'The pirates took it in turns to keep their guns trained on us – there was never a chance of escape. Nor was there any opportunity to develop a friendship with them. They kept us in a state of terror – we were beaten constantly with metal poles. I managed to avoid the worst violence, but I saw my crewmates being thrashed with sticks and having electric probes attached to their genitals, and one man was suspended by ropes from the ship's mast for several hours. Even when I could not see the torturing, I could hear the screams. I can still hear the screams to this day. I don't know why I wasn't hurt more – maybe they thought I was too young and unimportant. Some of the older crew members were argumentative, but I made sure never to antagonise the pirates.' [7.] https://www.theguardian.com...Now, it's an established fact that the abused often turn into abusers. [8.] http://m.selfgrowth.com...Note that at the end of source #6, the man says this: 'I became very angry once I got home. But I wasn't offered any therapy.'So, here we have a person who's been through a traumatic experience, but hasn't been offered any help for it--a recipe for disaster. Pro tries to argue that modern-day pirates are not real pirates, but unfortunately, they are. There's virtually no difference between the pirate I mentioned from the 16th-17th century to the pirates that torture and steal from people these days; they just have decent guns and slightly more advanced technology.'The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster tells us that pirates are divine beings. Obviously this is not true. The only pirate worthy of any claim to divinity is Captain Jack Sparrow himself. However, FSM sent Captain Jack Sparrow as an example not of divinity, but of a proper mortal life. It is crucial that the ways of piracy are attainable by all of us, rather than simply acting as a beacon, basking us in noodly light from out of reach. We all have a duty to lead piratic lives, and the decline in such standards is evident in the world around us. A key aspect of this decline is climate change, an issue raised by The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Bobby Henderson uses a graph to illustrate the correlation between the decline in pirate numbers and rise in global temperature.'I'm sorry to announce this to Pro, but captain Jack Sparrow is a fictional character. [9.] https://en.m.wikipedia.org...Pro then displays 2 graphs to demonstrate a correlation between a decline in piracy and increase in global warming, but this completely fails due to the evidence I provided in round one of the real causes of global warming; I.E, those 4 gasses. 'Regardless of the manner in which this information is presented (although ours is distinctly the more noodly), the issue again brings us back to divinity. The implication coming from The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is that it is owing to their supernatural powers that pirates are able to stem global warming. While the role of piracy in influencing climate change is evident, it must be emphasised that our role is practical rather than divine. The old pirates were at one with nature and took great care to look after their surroundings. It is for this reason that a decline in piracy has led to environmental problems. Furthermore, it is significant that Bobby Henderson's graph may well take into account pseudo-pirates who could not wield a positive influence, be it through activism or the supernatural.' Pro claims that pirates respected their environment, but fails to link a source supporting this in any way. The general consensus is that pirates actually couldn't less about their environment or the overall global environment, and were/are only concerned with lining their dirty pirate pockets. If people care about the environment, then they can go to university and get a PhD in environmental studies. [10.] http://www.colorado.edu...Now, as to the other pictures that Pro displays: the first one appears to be sparks from a firework, while the other is the Higgs Boson particle. [11.] https://m.youtube.com...The next picture, attempts to connect the haemoglobin structure to an image of the Flying Spagetti Monster; the difference here is that one exists, and one doesn't! (It's the haemoglobin structure that exists.)I do actually agree that the last picture of the hat could well be viewed as proof of the FSM and needs some further inspection, but this is like the only decent evidence that Pro has given so far...if he'd included more of this, his case could've been a lot better. (The other two pictures Pro tried to display cannot be seen.)