Western governments should not block the sale of genetically-reconstructed Neanderthal slaves

I welcome the kind response to my proposals from a representative of the Federal Trade Commission, which exists to "prevent business practices that are anticompetitive or deceptive or unfair to consumers; to enhance informed consumer choice and public understanding of the competitive process." (1) Some might say this is a truly noble cause while others might say that America is in danger of becoming a nanny state and that, instead of interfering with the free market economy, the government should help foster the spirit of 'caveat emptor' where consumers perform their own due diligence before parting with their cash. My opponent further informs us he is working in conjunction with the Department of Health and Human Services (HSS), which is "the United States government's principal agency for protecting the health of all Americans and provides essential human services, especially for those who are least able to help themselves" and, as such, some might say the HSS is a most worthy organisation while others might may point out that the "HHS represents almost a quarter of all federal outlays, and it administers more grant dollars than all other federal agencies combined" (2) and that the poor and needy are a bunch of work-shy scroungers who should learn to fend for themselves instead of expecting hard-working taxpayers to bail them out, and they might also add that the vast amount of money wasted on the HSS would be better spent reducing the budget deficit in order to pave the way for tax cuts for wealth-creating corporations such as Goldman Sachs, BP and Eggleston's Ethical Enterprises. Moving on to the debate, I thank my opponent for highlighting the fact that Neanderthals are "an intelligent and innovating species" - this is one of the reasons why Neanderthals slaves should fetch high prices when they go on sale. My opponent further points out that Neanderthals would have the ability to communicate with one another and have superior intellects to certain humans (Manchester United's Wayne Rooney springs to mind as an example) but the same can be said of dolphins (3) but they are not afforded human rights and often find themselves living in captivity in water parks and being forced to perform cruel and humiliating tricks for gawping tourists. (4) Finally, I am dismayed and disappointed that reputable, law-abiding slave-traders such as Eggleston"s Ethical Enterprises should be subject to judicial review in America of all countries. Let's not forget the words of George Washington, a founding father of the nation, first President of the United States of America and proud owner of hundreds of slaves, who warned of the dangers of undue government interference in the affairs of the people when he said: "The marvel of all history is the patience with which men and women submit to burdens unnecessarily laid upon them by their governments." (5) George Washington once also said: "The time is near at hand which must determine whether Americans are to be free men or slaves." This fine quote has inspired a quote of my own: "The time is near at hand which must determine whether Americans are to be free to buy Neanderthal slaves from Eggleston's Ethical Enterprises." Thank you. (1) http://www.ftc.gov... (2) http://www.hhs.gov... (3) http://www.bbc.co.uk... (4) http://www.peta.org... (5) http://www.brainyquote.com...