Sarcastic Presidential Debate

Penn Gillette, Arnold Schwartzenburger, and Smosh have these things to say to the governor: http://www.youtube.com... http://www.youtube.com... http://www.youtube.com...;As it were... 1. Taxis and SplendaAmerica, let me ask you something about taxes: do you even care?Do you honestly care about the ridiculously stupid minor issure they call "taxes"? Do you really give two craps about what Governor Darkroast calls "spending"?? DO YOU EVEN LIFT???No, No, and of course you do :3You know what I think? I think we should get rid of all taxes. Let's just not tax people. I mean, everyone's going on, complaining about "Tax Day", let's just give the people what they want and stop taxing altogether. Nothing can possibly go wrong!!!! Hey. Hey, what exactly is a "red herin". It's called spell check, dick.And don't you dare diss my Bosnian Grandpa, or will literally cut your throat out and forcefeed it to you to make you feel the impossible pain of trying to swallow without a throat.I love you, America, and I love you, the reader, more than anyone else :32. ImmitationAmerica, Lemon13 here only cares about Average Joe and Little Suzy. I think that was quite obvious when he said in the third round:"Screw you, Nation. I love North Korea, I hate pony friendship, and I'm in a polygamist relationship with Average Joe and Sally."He SAID that. He DID. He doesn't love MEXICANS. He doesn't love AMERICANS. He hates you so much, he won't even let Mexicans mow your lawn. Sick.Whereas, I love you. I love Mexicans. I don't support polygamist bullsh!t. Let's love each other with friendship and kindness (but no homo).3. TraditionI totally agree with my opponent. With that, our platforms are the same. I just changed mine. Except without what he calls "white power". I believe in diversity, unlike Governor Rapeface over there.4. The Entire Idea of a Friendship-Based Equestrian Society, Including All Of Its Magical Benefits, Including (But Not Limited To) A Society Built On One's Natural Nalent, Scheduled Maintanence of the Weather (Which Makes Winter Wrap Up Day Different From Spring Break) And None of This Bullsh!t About Cutting the Cards That Makes Absolutely No Sense to Me, But Rather The Entire Idea of a Friendship-Based Equestrian Society, Including All Of Its Magical Benefits, Including (But Not Limited To) A Society Built On One's Natural Nalent, Scheduled Maintanence of the Weather (Which Makes Winter Wrap Up Day Different From Spring Break) And None of This Bullsh!t About Cutting the Cards That Makes Absolutely No Sense to Me.I dare you all to watch the season two premiere of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic and tell me that it's not absolutely a flawless idea to form the world into an Equestrian wonderland. China, is on board. Governor, just shut up, shut up, just shut the fack up, oh my God, shut up, shut up, I will kill you, you freaking numbnuts, just shut up, oh my God, shut up.5. SpoonDon't listen to him, nation. He's just jealous because I have a bouncy castle and he doesn't.6. Korea Del NorteMy source isn't a meme. It's a certified, government, document. Oh my God, shut up.We need to kill Kim Jong Possible, Das Soh Raven, and Sak Un Codi before they start living the Suite Life on us and Call Us, Beep Us into smithereens. When will they do this? I'm not Psychic, I don't know.But Disney'ds to stop, now. We can't let the enemy have any more Pun.Conclusion:Honestly, I might turn some of you into ponies.