Oranges are Better than Apples

Do not be deceived by my opponent’s flagrant appeals to authority and flimsy reasoning. By sleight of hand and fancy visual effects he is attempting to sway an audience which he believes to be gullible and infantile. I respect you all much more than that, as I know that Debate.org is a community which values evidence and sound logic. I will provide heaping portions of both.Refuting Pro’s Arguments1. My opponent invokes the authority of a false god, which (aside from being a logical fallacy) is blasphemy. Apol, the one true god, clearly deems this behavior worthy of damnation in his Holy Dictations, and elevates the apple above all other fruits (Dictations of Apol chapter 7, verse 9). However, I understand that this is a secular venue and therefore will not dwell on these religious tensions. This is not the place for Appeals to Authority.Apol in all His Glory 2. The orange “expert” whom my opponent consults is clearly biased and lacking in credibility. Though he would not admit it publicly, it is clear that he is irrationally obsessed with oranges by his bewildered exclamation, “FKN ORANGES MAN”. This “expert” is rumored to be an acolyte of the Cult of Orange; and I need not remind everyone of the atrocities committed by this group.3. My opponent does not provide any credible sources supporting his claims about the health benefits of oranges. Beards have also been shown to cause cancer in laboratory mice, so the link between oranges and beards actually strengthens my case.Tragically, the mouse died shortly after this photo was taken The Case for Apples1. Taste and Texture When compared with oranges, apples are far sweeter and more appetizing. Apples have a crisp and firm texture, while oranges are mushy and weak. According to these charts, the taste of apples is far more popular and apple-flavored foods are far more abundant than orange-flavored ones for this reason. 2. Culinary Versatility Apple pie, caramel apples, apple fritter, apple sauce, apple juice, apple Danish, apple bread, apple muffins, candied apples, apple pancakes, the list could go on and on. Apples can be used in the preparation of far more dishes than oranges.3. Affordability According to the National Fruit and Vegetable Retail Report (http://1.usa.gov...) this week, Red Delicious apples were selling for $1.02 per pound, while Navel oranges cost a whopping $1.28 per pound. Why pay more for an inferior fruit?4. Health and Nutrition Apples provide vitamin A, vitamin C, calcium, iron, dietary fiber, and carbohydrates that our bodies need. Apples are fat free, cholesterol free, and low in sodium (source: http://bit.ly... ). In contrast, oranges provide no nutritional benefits and cause cancer (source: http://bit.ly...)5. Cultural Appeal Apples have long been associated with temptation in religion because they are so damn delicious and sexy. Everybody wants apples and the psychologist Freud discussed this primal desire at length in his book The Apple Narrative: “Every boy and girl is born with the instinctual drive to copulate with and consume apples. This is because the apple resembles the mother’s bosom, and exposure to apples stimulates in the subconscious the same feelings of comfort that the fetus experiences in the womb.”ConclusionApples are far superior to oranges. Pro may concede the debate if he so wishes; I would understand. No hard feelings.Sources:The Apple Narrative by FreudDictations of ApolAnecdotal and Fabricated Evidence for Dummies vol. 3