Why Nice Guys Have Better Relationships Than Jerks!

As we move into the third round, Con has put me in a very interesting position. I relish the challenge. You'll have to forgive me if I show a little passion in this post, but I'm considered a NG by many and I relate to a lot of things said in this debate. Let's see if I can bring it all home and end on a strong note. My opponent made a fascinating proclamation stating that all the traits and attributes I used to describe NGs are actual traits of Good Men; while the traits I used to describe NICE GUYS WITH AGENDAS are what nice guys really are. These are two very subjective labels for two very different types of men. However, at the end of the day, the labels are irrelevant. Whether you call these men NGs, good men, saints, or NGs with an agenda -- let's remind ourselves what this debate is all about proving how any of these men will give you BETTER relationships than jerks and my final argument will explain why. To start, let's look at the urban dictionary definition of a jerk. It states, "Jerks are selfish, manipulative bastards who see women as little more than sexual conquests to brag about to their buddies or mere objects that are there for their personal pleasure. As to ensure the post-sex breakup will be in their favor, Jerks often play the "sensitive guy" early on so the girl will make most of the moves on HIM, and after he's done with her and dumps her for some other girl just like her, he can make it look like she's at fault for coming on too strong, and consequently she'll take him back if he chooses to return for seconds." What I find interesting is how the urban dictionary's definition is not that far off from Con's view on NGs. Both are manipulative, inauthentic predators who falsely portray themselves to women they desire so they can have sex with them and nothing more. Personally, if you ask me, I believe Con has unknowingly been describing jerks this entire time. You literally can insert NGs into that definition and it almost sounds like Con's view. Watch this: "NGs are selfish, manipulative bastards who see women as little more than sexual conquests or mere objects that are there for their personal pleasure." Oddly enough, that's how Con views nice guys in general. I can't agree with that. In fact, I think it's a grossly inaccurate view on NGs. In that same urban dictionary, here's what is said about nice guys: "A young male who will give up countless hours of his time listening to the problems of his very attractive female friends because they need someone to talk to." Now does that sound like anything Con's described as a NG? No, it doesn"t. This brings up a very irritating aspect about NGs that even I have deal with today. People have begun to associate jerks with NGs because too many jerks have worn "nice guy" clothing and confused women to the point they no longer know the difference. I believe it"s why NGs have such a bad reputation nowadays and, most of the time, are treated so poorly. When I hear the term "pushover" used to describe NGs, you know what word I really hear? Harmless. To me, when I think of a jerk, I think of someone who does things with malice intention. A jerk will call you a "dirty slut" without feeling a hint of remorse for it. A NG will at least talk to you without using insults and try to resolve it with the least bit of confrontation necessary. Now, based off Person A in my Round 1 argument, it"s very easy to see how jerks can be attractive to women " temporarily. The attraction, however, doesn"t come from them as a person; it comes from what they have. So now, let"s take both my round one examples and flip them. Person A) Narcissistic, selfish, apathetic, dishonest, and completely rude in conversations; but he also he lives an apartment, typically takes the bus the work because his car breaks down a lot, struggles to maintain a steady income, and most of the time doesn't go out much since he works so much. Person B) Trustworthy, selfless, loyal, kind, understanding, good listener, compassionate, supportive, and of course a "nice guy"; but he also makes six figures a year (over $100,000), owns his own car and house, high position in work, and has PACKED OUT parties. Which one is attractive now? Believe it or not, both examples do exists and are typically seen in older ages. Dwayne Johnson could easily pass as Person B and (although she's a woman) Rosie O'Donnell is a great example for Person A. NGs can provide for a woman, earn a steady income, and have wild parties at their houses too. The quality of life a person has isn't always determined by their character; it's also determined by work ethic and perseverance. On an even playing field, if both jerks and NGs earned the same amount of money and could provide, you would then have to choose based off their character. No offense, but if a woman chooses a jerk who is, (as urban dictionary describes) insensitive, selfish, ignorant, cocky, inconsiderate and does stupid things with no remorse over a NG; you're asking for trouble and will most likely regret your decision not too long afterwards. One last point I want to make before I bow out. This notion that NGs "fumble" when they speak to girls. I am the living embodiment of "fumbling" my words in front of girls. I've done it all my life. Each rejection, no matter how painful it was, has made me stronger and helped me learn more about myself. Eventually, talking became second nature. Have I had many girlfriends? Not really, but I can say I have been in relationship and each one had substance. It's funny knowing, even now, 3 out of the 4 ex girlfriends I've had still speak to me. Despite our relationship not working out, they still see value in me and will every so often shoot me a message either to check on me or ask for advice. That's how you know I left in good impression on them. If I was a jerk, I seriously doubt they would have nothing to do with me. So even though my loving relationships with these women didn't work out, I still maintained a GOOD relationship with them as friends. How many jerks do you know can say that? In closing, I want all NGs out there to know it's possible to be authentic and nice at the same time, and to have good boundaries -- but it is also very difficult. There will be days, as Con has explained, women will overlook you and even attempt to use you. Do not let that change you. If you are genuinely a nice person, you stay true to yourself and you'll find someone who appreciates you for who you are. Jerks may get the girl temporary, but when she's ready she'll eventually get with a nice guy and realize things are so much better. Thank you for your time.