Stepmothers- An Evil to the Modern Society

“In your experience have you observed stepchildren's reaction to your rules and regulations.” Not MY rules and regulations, “our rules” as parents working together for the benefit of the children. “children have the right to judge themselves and to decide what they should do what they should not.” Children do not have the intellectual or emotional capacity to make judgments concerning their well being; especially young children. Children are motivated by wants not need or responsibility. They want to eat meals of ice cream and potato chips with a soda chaser without regard to their health. They would choose the stay home and play Xbox rather than attend school without concern for their need to become educated; the list goes on. “Basically i would like to mention that children should not do house daily chores at such a young age. Its like a torture for them.” At what age is too young? Age appropriate chores teach responsibility, self-reliance and how one must contribute to the family unit and later to society. Asking three year olds to assist in picking up their own toys is not unreasonable, nor a 10 year old to take a bag of trash to the curb; 13 year old to sweep the kitchen floor. They will be asked to do things they don’t like as adults and need to learn the disciple toward work as they develop. Failure to do prescribed tasks in the work place will result in no paycheck. There are things I have to do at my job that I find torturous, but cope and get them done. Failure to do age appropriate chores and loss of privileges instills the requirement to develop a work ethic and the need to contribute. Responsibility and learning to cope with undesirable tasks is part of the child’s development and the responsibility to teach these skills falls upon the parents. “They are correct to think that they are not allowed to go here and there with move with their friends . And this relationship between Stepmother and her children ruins a childs life. Basically Girls are affected by this kind of so called torture by their Stepmothers.” As a parent, I'm not going to give into every whim or want of a child. If I did I’d be creating an ego centric, self indulgent brat who believes that his/her lot in life is to be catered to and provided for with no contribution or responsibility taken by him/her. Surely you would find it reasonable not to allow a teenager to go see friends if their homework was not done or their room was a mess with soiled clothes. Should I not insist that they show respect for their possessions and the space they live in? I will not be cleaning their home when they are grown of, shouldn’t they learn to take care of their own space? The girls did spend a great deal of time with their friends and had a wide varieity of fun experiences, after they took care of the few brief chores they were asked to undertake. Most took no more than 10 or 15 minutes to accomplish, except for laundry which they were responsible for their own at 16. We did develope a mutual respect, love and affection towards each other which has lasted into their adult lives. As adults, I have never heard them recall of any tortures they endured by my hands. “Basically a stepmother's primary objective is to give birth to her own child and give her most importance in the family.” We decided our family was large enough; I did not have any children with my husband. I was graced with three beautiful step-daughters my life felt complete. There was no mistreatment of my daughters, discipline or loss of privileges for wrongs were agreed upon together, their father and I. Loss of computer time or being housebound for a weekend were not unjust diciplinary measures. “my friend who is a muslim by religion gets everyday torture by her mom in their home. Like said before, kids need to learn how to do chores. They need to learn more complex tasks as they as grow older; to cook, clean, how to take care of a home and property, all when age appropiate. I would never ask a six year old to climb a ladder to clean gutters. At that age no more can be expected than the child to put away his/her own toys independantly, no other chores should be assigned. I would expect that an 18 year old to clean gutters once a year and to mow the lawn once every two weeks. But, children should not be given too many chorse so they have no time to enjoy their childhood. They need free time to go and do things and to spend time with friends. This it is just as important, so they can learn how operate in a larger world; also just to have fun for fun’s sake. Children should spend much more time experieincing joy, happiness and fun than time spent doing chores. I don’t know the age of this girl or what was expected of her. You tell me one side of a story within a culture that I am not too familiar. Without details or context I cannot make statements on the matter. It is truly unfortunate and sad that the girl wished to end her life. Sex talks” A difference of cultural norms. When our daughters were young teens we felt it necessary to inform them on the changes of their bodies and how to stand firm in resisting the wants and pressures from boys. Their virtue was of greater worth than someone else’s wants. When they reached dating age we frequently reinforced this morality and how to behave in a manner that would not mislead or deceive the boys they dated; no meant no without exception. We were blunt, honest and open about sexuality and gave the girls the knowedge they needed to be in control of their bodies; they we well behaved honorable young women as a result. In the Muslim culture such matters are seen in a much different way. If I was a Muslim, I know I would have guided my step-daughters in the manner that was religious and culturally appropriate. Any other way would not have permited them to live with honor within the Muslim community. We taught our girls how to behave with honor and virtue within our culture.