Flirting is dangerous

While that may be the case, it typically doesn't come off that way. What if you flirt just to have sex? No one can tell your reasons for flirting. Any relationship based on flirting is just a waste of time. Friendships on the other hand are very effective as they are the basis for marriages. People who are married have very good friendships because in friendships it's harder for a person to play you for a fool than it is for someone who has the patience to evaluate you from a distance. Being a good friend will determine whether you will be a good mate. I agree, genuine compliments do exist, however i would not consider them to be flirting. I can compliment my friends and i have no attraction to them. Having casual sex is unwise as trust can easily be broken and STD's can be spread not to mention alot of emotional damage that comes when a person isn't in love. "If your idea of flirtation is fueled by deceit and selfishness, that is fine, but you cannot assume that all people act like this when they flirt with someone. " Maybe that is true, but based on observations, the most successful relationships aren't based on flirting, they're based on a solid friendship (my sister is an example. ) "Flirting is actually the active pursuit of someone they wish to court. To be passive would be to not approach the person and, ultimately, never form a connection with them because you never approached them in the first place. How can you decide you want to form a relationship with someone without first establishing that there is a consensual emotional and physical connection between the two of you? For example, two friends do not decide to form a relationship and then figure out whether or not there is a legitimate emotional and physical attraction. Those things are established before they agree to be in a relationship and are established through flirting. " 2 friends are better off building that emotional connection and finding out their qualities over a long period of time and then deciding to go further vs. 2 people who just met, flirted, and got into a relationship after 2 weeks. "Signals are absolutely not meaningless. Symbolic interactionism is the core of micro-social interactions. Whether the signal is a casual wink, a brush on the arm, or a display such as giving a bouquet of flowers, the signal has significant meaning. Signals like these are a form of flirtation. When these signals begin to wither away, you cannot assume the person has stopped liking you. Most of time, displays of affection lessen as the comfortability with someone increases. As you become more secure and comfortable with the relationship you are in, the less likely you are to go out of your way to prove your emotional and physical attraction because your partner already knows how you feel. You said it best yourself "if you want to date someone. .. be upfront about it. " Exactly my point. Flirtation is the best way to be upfront with your attraction to another person. If you are not socially interacting with someone, you are not being upfront with your feelings. " By being upfront, i mean you either tell them you like them or you ask. With flirting, the answer is hidden and the other person is put in a position where they can choose to deflect your suspicions by denying these "signals" as anything significant to hide their feelings. "I agree that a consensual, intimate relationship can only thrive with a solid foundation of friendship and commonalities, but in order for a relationship to reach any form of consensual, physical intimacy, there needs to be a period between friendship and the relationship where the persons involved can evaluate what type of relationship they wish to pursue. " That should already be established way before the relationship. I noticed that the girls i flirted with didn't have the essential qualities i was looking for in a mate. If i had waited, i would've seen they were not meant for me. Flirting can blind you to the truth. Yes, you can be physically and emotionally attracted to someone, but you don't have to let them know. Simply wait and see them for who they really are. In conclusion, flirting doesn't produce a productive relationship. Rather than send "signals", you could be investing in getting to know their qualities, strengths, weaknesses, likes, dislikes, etc. that is showing off your attractive qualities far effective than just mere signals. You could focus on establishing a great friendship, not sending roses, winks, kisses, pics, etc. to show you have interest in finding out to see if maybe that person would make a potential mate when there is no solid friendship. Flirting should only be reserved for people who are already in a relationship as it demonstrates that each partner finds the other desirable.