Presidential Debate: Peter Griffin vs Eric Cartman

Wait wait wait, youre vice president is God? What a terrible choice! That guy has killed millions of people and he himself is the reason why people kill millions of other people too! This is a guy who convinces thousands of people to kill their loved ones every day yet I cant convince two of my friends to help me move. Also I would just like to point out that God's son, Jesus, likes Amy Grant's music...... And if that isnt a deal breaker for you...... Then I dont know what is. On another note though just between me and Cartman, can you ask God to smite Mark Sanchez? I dont hate him I just think that at this point he should just be put out of his misery because lets face it hes not going to get any better..... Like that time my horse broke its leg and I had to shoot it...... I shot the horse, but now the horse has a broken leg and a gunshot wound too, so I dont know how the gut was supposed to help the horse but it doesnt seem to be working at all and now I got a horse with more problems then Brittany Spears did in 2007......Next I will respond to my opponents outsourcing arguments. Cartman here believes that we need to get rid of all the hippies and force the jews to give up their jew gold. I on the other hand dont think we should get rid of the hippies, if we didnt have hippies, where would American teenagers buy their weed from at a decent price? Hippies music may suck a fat dick but the blow they sell is some of the cleanest and purest stuff you can find on the market, its especially useful when you smoke some of it while trying to write some songs.... Of course hippies have a notoriously sh*tty taste in music..... Its not as bad as Jesus's but still its pretty bad. And my wife may be a Jewess, but you know what she isnt? A murderous all powerful being who claims to be an all good omnipotent being yet still lets evil exist in the world. What kind of a God creates a world that has crying babies on airplanes, a world where people dont know who Barry Manilow is, or a world that has Lindsay Lohan in it? Lindsay Lohan really grinds my gears if you know what im talking about...Then there is Cody's question about religion. Cartman just keeps claiming that he has God as his Vice President yet God has yet to reveal himself to any of us, and I mean reveal himself like actually show up and say "Hey guys I exist, who wants to get drunk tonight?", not the kind of reveal himself to people like what I accidentally did to those kids in preschool when I showed up drunk without any pants or underwear on.....I will now just take some time to illustrate some of the things that fata** over there has admitted to doing while on the campaign trail.1) Dressing up as Brittany Spears and slutty dancing with a cardboard cut out of Justin Timberlake2) Attempted to kill all the Jews3) Attempted to kill all the hippies4) Kidnapped a child just to go to Casa Bonita with a friend he doesnt even like5) Tried to make a sports league for crack babies 6) Gave Kyle AIDS 7) Took Scott Tenorman's parents, turned them into Chili, and then made their son eat his parents who were in Chili form8) Has a tiny penis9) Faked having tourettes and intended to fake this real illness to slander the Jews on television10) Put Butters's penis in his mouth and took a picture of it11) Tries to put his penis in Butters's mouth to make himself not seem gay (Also tried to do the same thing with 16kadams)12) Rigged the 2012 presidential election so that Disney would get the rights to Star Wars so that he could then star in Star Wars as a main character. Now here is a list of 12 things that God has done 1) Ruined a loyal man's entire life just to win a bet with Satan. This of course means that God is a gambling addict. Also just uses people as complete tools and makes them suffer for no good reason, but MOSTLY that he has a gambling problem.2) Floods the entire world3) Killed 14,000 people for complaining that God was always killing people (im not making this up, Numbers 16:49)4) Has 42 children mauled by bears for making fun of someone names 'Elisha'5) Killed a man for refusing to impregnate his brothers widow. 6) Let Justin Bieber live7) Didnt save John Lennon8) Let Nicki Minaj live9) Didnt save Tupac10) Approved the making of Rosie O'Donnell11) Watches you poop12) Decided to rest on football Sunday when he easily could have rested on any of the 5 other days that I have to go to work on. So yeah, both people on that ticket have pretty shady pasts and have a lot of bad history that they are yet to be held accountable for. Now I know that my own record is full of stuff im not necessarily proud of either, like that time I used aborted fetus stem cells to build a pizza shop rather then saving my dying friend. Oh wait, that was Cartman, not me. Anyways, since Cartman has revealed who his vice president is, I guess now would be a good time to reveal who my pick for vice president is. Now this man is much different then God in that my choice for vice president is someone who actually helps people when they ask for his help......He is a man who is known for his ultra conservative stances on many issues........ He is a longtime loyal Republican who is a huge fan of Ronald Reagan, John McCain, and George Bush.....He has shat on Barack Obama more then Fox News.......He is the author of many books that have shaped America as we know it.........He rose from his humble roots being raised in South Carolina as the youngest of a family of 12 to being one of the largest people in Media........Ladies and Germs............ My choice for Vice President is...................................................... Steven Colbert!Yeah, that just happened. I cede the rest of my time to my opponent. Testicles.