Reverse Euthanasia

Ladies and gentlemen, and ladies, I call your attention tonight to a grave threat, not only to the quality of our lives, but the the very existence of our civilization.We have been invaded.Yes, among us, in our very homes, live a breed of sociopathic monsters. These diminutive, misshapen imps have infiltrated our homes, wetting our beds, and eating our food. They insinuate themselves into our lives with callous demands for food and attention, foisting themselves on our misplaced generosity until they are strong enough to kill us.You undoubtedly have seen them, with their cold eyes and clammy hands. I speak, of course, of the Young Children.I argue that it is better to implement a policy of Reverse Euthanasia, before it is too late for us all. The wisdom of this policy is both obvious and unmistakeable, and everyone with an ounce of sense can figure it out for themselves. Therefore, I shall spell it out for you. Very carefully.~~~~~~~~~~~Definitions:Old Fart: Human over child-rearing age; old and smelly. Forgets everything it once knew. Takes a lot of upkeep. Leers at the pretty young nurses.Kid: Human under child-rearing age; young and smelly. Knows next to nothing, especially at first. Takes a lot of upkeep. A sociopathic monster.Euthanasia: The culling of unproductive and odorific members of the human race from among the elderly and infirm. Also this: http://en.wikipedia.org...Reverse Euthanasia (R.E.): The culling of unproductive and eau de terrible members of the human race from among the very young.~~~~~~~~~~~~~Arguments:1. R.E. is cheaper than education = argument from costNations all over the world spend billions of dollars yearly to educate these little monsters. Eliminating them would completely remove that cost, freeing up capital for more useful purposes. The world economy would enter a golden age, unburdened by the upkeep of the young. The only reason anyone would vote against this is if they hate the poor.2. Kids make a lot of noise = argument from convenienceAny parent will back me on this. Things that scream at 3 AM every morning when I have work the next day should be shot, no questions asked.3. Kids are sick little monsters = argument from moralityInfants are completely self-centered and unreasonable. It's all about them and their needs, and they brook no delays for any reason. In vain the parents try to reason with the child; in vain they explain that the little one has already used all of their finances on diapers and disintegrated vegetables, and that the rest of the family is now starving because of them. Young children don't care about anyone else.In adults, we call this sociopathy, and we lock sociopaths up for committing excesses. Somehow we are supposed to ignore this behavior from children? 4. Adults aren't any better = see 3You may say to me, "Chrys, it gets better. They grow up to become adults. They don't stay children forever." And you'd be right. If given the chance, they DO grow up. This is my point exactly.The adults are at least as bad, if not worse, than they were as children. Here is a list of example adults, chosen at random from among the approximately eight billion people who have ever lived:Wilma, Hitler, Stalin, Bob, Mao, Charlie.Five out of six individuals chosen from the entire human race are mass-murderers! Anyone who can still believe any humans are worth keeping is as bad as they are! You like children? You think they are cute? You are a mass-murderer.If that wasn't enough, I have quality video evidence of the brutal character of adult humans. Please view the videos for three reasons why children should not be allowed to grow up:http://www.youtube.com...http://www.youtube.com...http://www.youtube.com...5. Old Farts are old. And fart. And forget everything they ever learned, wasting their expensive eductions = see 1 and 2Why spend all that money educating the young, when they will forget it ALL in 60 years? Even potty training goes out the window, sometimes literally; and when that happens, it makes one wonder: Why bother in the first place?6. Better to get rid of them early. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~On the side, I have a stellar little argument from Utilitarian ethics:Argument from Utilitarianism:Humans cause suffering for untold billions of other creatures.Humans cause extinction for thousand of entire species.The greatest good for the greatest number requires human extinction.Reverse Euthanasia is an easy, safe, and effective means to secure the greatest good.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Now that I have you all convinced, a word about the Ideal Age For Termination:Early.Thank you, thank you.Reasons for early elimination:a. Lowest costb. Least emotional attachment on the part of the parents ("Eww! Take that slimy thing out of our sight!" *gunshot*)c. The ability to resist is at its lowest.d. Definitively prevents teen preganciesand last, but not least,e. A good hospital staff can eliminate all three parties at the birth, ridding the world of another interloper and the breeding couple. This is a net win.More benefits of early reverse euthanasia:a. Eliminates STDs. War on AIDS = over.b. Cures/prevents cancer.c. World peace.d. ?e. Profit.Thank you all. I thank my worthy opponent. I thank her mother. I thank the audience, the jury, the judges, and my parole officer. I thank the US Congress, and all the international diplomatic bodies that have contributed nothing at all to this debate. I post this debate with my thanks.