Resolved: My Jokes are funnier than my opponent's

Thank you, fergie1, for accepting! =) Sorry for the delay, I experienced some glitches with the character limit, and with the pictures, I couldn't do a copy/paste post due to an error, so I will just post a link instead. (NOTE: My jokes might be filthy, so please don’t get offended, read at your own risk). YO MAMA’S: Yo mama’s so hairy that she has afros on her nipples. Yo mama’s so ugly that when she joined an ugly contest, the host said, "Sorry, No Professionals." SHORTY: What did the left butt cheek say to the right butt cheek? -If we stick together, we can stop this s**t! LOL-PIC: http://goo.gl... AND FINALLY... 34th Birthday There was a man who had his 34th birthday last week. His wife and kids didn’t greet him, his parents even forgot his birthday. No one, not even his best friends sent a text message or email greeting him, which made him sad. So he went to work that day. His co-workers didn’t even greet him or say the usual ‘good mornings’. So he entered in his office, and his secretary jumped and said "Happy Birthday, sir!" He started to feel good and thanked his secretary, she asked him for dinner after work as a treat. After work, no one even bothered to greet him or say goodbye, which made him feel bad again, but proceeded to dinner with his secretary anyway. After dinner, the secretary invited him to her flat. They had a great time talking for a few minutes then the secretary said, "You mind if I go to the bedroom for a minute?" The man agreed and said okay in a flirtatious demeanour. After a few minutes, she came out, and... His wife, his parents, his kids, his friends and colleagues came out and screamed, "SURPRISE!" The man was sitting in the sofa, his mouth wide open... Naked. Husband Store A store that sells husbands has just opened where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men. The store is composed of 6 floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building. So a woman goes to the mall to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: “Floor 1 - These men have jobs.” The woman reads the sign and says to herself, "Well, that's better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what's further up?" So up she goes. The second floor sign reads: “Floor 2 – “These men have jobs and love kids.” The woman remarks to herself, "That's great, but I wonder what's further up?" And up she goes further upstairs. The third floor sign reads: “Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking.” "Hmmm, better" she says. "But I wonder what's upstairs?" The fourth floor sign reads: “Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework.” "Wow!" exclaims the woman, "Very tempting, but, there must be more further up!" And again she heads up another floor. The fifth floor sign reads: “Floor 5 – These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak.” "Oh, mercy me! But just think... what must be awaiting me further on?" So up to the sixth floor she goes. The sixth floor sign reads: “Floor 6 - You are visitor 7,924,324,961 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.” ---Done for now, good luck! XD