The Big Bang, which began Evolution, was caused by a renovation in the west wing of God's Mansion.

I am a reverent Christian, but this was too good to pass up. No disrespect intended. Everything I say is facetious. Sir, your premise is preposterous and an affront to all civilized intellectual discourse. And that is a graphic and extreme understatement!!!! To say you are mistaken would be equivalent to stating that there are better hairstyles than the Mohawk, or that there are better-looking people than Gollum, or that there have been better presidents than Obama. First: God does does not have a west wing! True, God's angels probably could have at least two wings, but, as everyone who has attended seminary or studied angels knows, those wings are termed "right" and "left" rather than "west" and "east," or, in the case of seminary, R1, R2, R3, and so on. If God had a west wing, that would require the owner of the west wing to stand still in order for that wing to always be pointing west. This would constitute an unnecessary limitation upon the mobility of the heavenly being. Besides, West and East carry Worldly connotations that are inappropriate in the heavenly realms. Second: God's wings need no renovation. To quote Danbury: "God must, in quintessence, be made up of only absolute actuality with illimitable potentiality for actuation with prospective (completely lateral) latent potentiality rendering purposive feats of ex nihilo creative inauguration and/or fabrication feasible and conceivable. The Divine personage of God is necessarily impermeable and impervious to the finite and mundane happenings of the material world, as Beings of pure actuality just straightforwardly and unambiguously exist, the Beings' shortfall or rather bereftness of potentiality being the causality for this eternal unchangeability . . ." [1]. Danbury puts just the right point to it. God can't change so His wings can't get renovated. Third: The Second Law of Thermodynamics and all other finite material laws have no applicability outside of our Universe. So God's wings would warrant no need of renovation in the first place. In addition, to again quote Danbury: "Causality, must, in essence, proceed from a Being of Pure Actuality; nevertheless, Schubert's theory of Unintentional Delegate Elevatory Causality cannot support strict scrutiny, as is required by Supreme Court precedent, as must as a prerequisite to all theological ramifications of the Heavenly Sovereignty Doctrine based off Our Lord's Prayer (Luke 11:2), it being the case that every utmost implication and consequences has incontrovertibly been foreseen by the Omniscient Master of Everything and that His sovereign seraphic inclinations occur unfailingly, at least, in the celestial realm, (excepting naturally the cherubic insurgence transpiring as a repercussion to the one Angelic non sovereign Choice . . ." [2]. I have established that discussing God's wings requiring renovation is ridiculous, risible, and, I would add, unworthy of my time. I therefore bid my opponent adieu and wait with baited breath his next lunatic presumption. [1] Danburry, Reginald. "An Exhaustive, Unabridged, and Unintelligible Dissertation Upon the Heavenly Aspects of Actuality and Potentiality, Leading Logically to a Discussion of the Finer Relevance to Natural Causality." Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch: Books No One Wants Publishing House. Print. Page 1,105, Chapter 44. [2] Danburry, Reginald. "A Second Exhaustive, Unabridged, and Unintelligible Dissertation Upon the Heavenly Aspects of Actuality and Potentiality, Leading Logically to a Discussion of the Finer Relevance to Natural Causality." Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch: Books No One Still Wants Publishing House. Print. Volume III, Page 348, Chapter 13.