It's not wrong to say the N word.

A bit of background on me perhaps is justified here. I personally am a free speech advocate, And probably nearly as extreme as they come. However, Even if I accept your right to say it and not be prosecuted, Even if I am offended by nothing, I operate in reality and know why some words have been created and whether or not I seek to avoid getting people upset. Words have meaning because we give meaning to them. In some sense we choose to be offended by some words. The N word would be one of them. However, The history of words is important. "Niger" and "Negro" is Spanish for Black. The N word stems from these, But was used almost invariably by white people who thought blacks were of a lower class than them. It was made to be derogatory. For around a hundred years it was reinforced as such. For a hundred more before Black people had any kind of equality it was reinforced even more. So as it stands, There are still people alive today who have experienced this word in a very real sense in a threatening, Or probably violent manner. As such, The only people who really use the word are white supremacists or people intending it in a derogatory manner. There is a small difference between the 6-letter word ending in ER and the 5 letter word ending in A. It is probably best if you specify which you used here. Regardless of context, If you used ER you will almost unavoidably be seen as a racist. A is certainly more excusable, But white people have more or less no choice but to be outraged nowadays when they hear someone say either. The ER one has this background. The A one still stems from the same root, But is slang. Few people use both to have the same meaning. ER is largely used in a derogatory manner, Even now, To mean 'stupid person. ' Not necessarily only used in regards to blacks, But largely so. An extreme minority of black people will use the ER one in a non-derogatory manner. Most of these I think just haven't thought of it much. The A one is more widespread among black people and used in a more endearing manner. It has less of a derogatory note, But still stems from the same place. There isn't unanimous agreement on what these terms mean among the black community alone. Many think no one, Not even black people, Should use either. These people find both offensive. Some people think A is ok for only black people to say. Some think A is ok for anyone to say, Or just close friends to say. Some people don't care about either, Similar to me. However, There's a large difference between a word being OK to use in public and in private. If you're alone with your friend, Of course there's nothing wrong with it. If you were with your friend and me, For example, I would associate you immediately with white supremacists if I walked up and A was the first thing you said to your friend, Prior to knowing your relationship and what your views on related matters were. If I knew you extremely well I would possibly not associate you with white supremacists. If you say these things in public and not everyone in the group knows you well, You have to deal with the fact that people now think you dislike black people, Or think whites are superior. I doubt you were close enough with those female friends that they knew your relationship and know your personal views well enough for you to use it and not have problems arise. It causes harm because the only group that widely uses it is white supremacists. Even if you just use A, Anyone who overhears you will associate with you with them. Other white people who hear you say this may feel emboldened by your use of it. The historical background of words and how they effect people should be considered when we choose the words we speak. I don't personally care if people are offended by something or not, However, It is immediately wrong when you don't know everyone's history. It is more rare that a person has been beaten by white people while being called a ER these days, But it may surprise you how often black people are referred to in such a manner still. I see no polls around these subjects, But my guess would be that the majority have had negative scenarios in their lives where the word was used, And your use of it actually does do real harm. It is wrong because yes, It DOES do harm. I can toss a stone from where I currently sit and hit something along the lines of 20 black people with it. Even if I'm just sitting with my friend who doesn't care, I may inadvertently cause real harm to someone who overhears it, And my reputation may be harmed. On top of all this, We have way better words to use. Losing the term ER or A from our vocabulary doesn't do damage to it. There is no use of ER or A that I couldn't find a better term for. All of this is opinion. As such any sources I use will be opinion articles. There are free speech advocates myself who believe it is wrong because of the history of the word and because how it causes very real pain to be remembered in many people. There are free speech people who don't take any other considerations into account (who usually happen to be white supremacists somehow) who use the term and consider people's emotions not at all. There are people who don't like free speech who think you should be jailed for it. These people are of all races. In general, It's wrong because there is always a better phrase or word to use in its place unless you're literally performing historical plays or scenarios. May your thoughts be clear, -Thoht