Solving the obesity problem - my method

A modest proposal. Jonathan Swift may have been a brilliant man for his time but he was just that, a man of his time. In a world with growing population concerns we must update the modest proposal to a slightly more appropriate idea. I suggest what shall be called: A moderate proposal. The idea is simple and yet solves more efficiently than any idea my opponent has yet to come up with. When a person exceeds 30kg/m2 body mass they shall be given one month to bring their weight back to a healthy standard. Should they not be able to do this, should they not be able to retard their eating to moderate levels, they will be burnt at the stake. So now everyone must be wondering what could this wonderful plan possibly do better than my opponents plan. 1. It discourages weight gain far more effectively than my opponents plan. Being burnt at the stake is after all rather painful. 2. My plan does not fall into the high school way of simply ridiculing those that we do not like. Where as my opponent's plan advocates for a dehumanization of those who are overweight by placing stamps on them my plan does no such thing. Thus my plan is far more humane. 3. My plan is less expensive to our government. Where as my opponents plan requires the mass production of stamps, healthy posters, and reality T.V shows my plan simply requires a wooden stake and a bale of hay. 4. My opponents plan actually encourages people gaining weight. Through the creation of reality T.V shows my opponent actually is increasing a sedentary life style for all viewers which in turn decreases the amount of aerobic exercise the viewers could be achieving. 5. My plan has a net fiscal return. The large people burned at the stake will chopped up afterwards and sold as a stable and fine delicacy throughout a large portion of the world. 6. My plan prevents world hunger in two ways. 1. The large people now become a food source for our population. 2. It encourages over eating thus more food is conserved through a lack of eating. 7. My plan prevents overpopulation. Through killing off mass amounts of obese people we can see that the world population would undoubtedly fall, lending us an extra couple years of staving off the world overpopulation epidemic that is so eminent. As Thomas Malthus most likely once said, "The best way to ensure the survival of man is to kill many other men." 8. My plan ensures that humans in the future are more and more healthy. Humans will want to make sure they marry a person with strong genetics in order that their child will not be prone to obese habits. Through this trend we will see healthier human beings. 9. As human being grow healthier and healthier it will become harder and harder for simple activities such as ping pong to offer any type of workout thus humans will begin to participate more and more in extreme activities such as parkour and free running. Before long every human being will be able to do things like this: http://www.youtube.com... 10. Eventually technology will increase to a such an extent that we have attained space travel. 11. At this point, due to my plan, and the subsequent health benefits and extreme athletic abilities the average person will be something like this: http://www.youtube.com...