Santa Claus should reduce his Greenhouse gas emissions

With many thanks to Panda for his comprehensive response, I should like to reply as follows: The fact that my opponent considers Santa to be some sort of beardy bourgeois benefactor come filthy kiddy-fiddler is neither here nor there as we are discussing his alleged negative impact on the environment. Now, as so-called climate change is measured over decades and centuries rather than weeks and months we must look at Santa's medium to long-term future to make a proper assessment. Although we live in an uncertain world, we can till make educated guesses regarding our destinies. Taking a global perspective, rogue states such as North Korea and Israel already have a nuclear capability and Iran is set to join them soon. Before too long, nuclear weapons will be available to every crackpot banana republic in the world. Now, since nuclear weapons are rarely acquired by kindly old souls who don't have a bad word to say about anyone, it will be the ruthless, psychotic dictators with no respect for human life that want to wipe their enemies off the map that will have their swarthy fingers on the nuclear triggers. The fact is, the only way for Western nuclear powers to stop these dangerous tyrants from plunging the world into a nuclear holocaust is to use pre-emptive force against them. The most safe and effective method of neutralising the threat from these rogue nations is to destroy their military capabilities using inter-continental ballistic missiles armed with nuclear warheads. The unfortunate by-product of this necessary policy, however, is what the boffins call a "nuclear winter". That is to say, in the aftermath of a nuclear conflict, the planet will be plunged into a period of darkness and cold that would last for many decades. So, as the prospect of global cooling looms ever larger, we owe it to ourselves to do as much as possible to raise global temperatures. You can do your bit by buying a huge SUV with massive V8 engine rather than some puny, effeminate hybrid patheticar and by flying long haul on holiday rather than going on a cycling tour of your local countryside. Santa must also play his part by allowing his herd of reindeers to starve to death and using a fuel-injected, twin turbo, supercharged, double overhead camshaft, 48 valve sports-sled to make his deliveries instead (being sure to leave the engine running while he breaks into the little kiddies' houses to steal their parents' booze and grub and to "see" the children when they are sleeping). Of course, this will all require more oil but the world's resources are becoming seriously depleted. Not to worry though, there are huge reserves of oil in Alaska. Incredibly though, the woolly, liberal, sandal-wearing, organic lentil-eating, lesbian and gay workshop attending, hairy arm-pitted, tree-hugging, peace-loving Guardianistas are all crying "what about the polar bears?" Well, it is true that the polar bears will pose a threat to oil workers but the good people at Exxon-Mobil can repay the debt they owe Sarah Palin by hiring her to shoot them all. You see, where there's a will, there's a way. In conclusion I would urge readers to reject my opponent's alarmist claims and to ignore his politics of envy and vote Con(servative) for luxury gifts to be delivered to posh kids courtesy of Santa's new high-octane sports-sled. Thank you.