Mayonnaise is in fact an instrument

I will number my refutation so as to make it easier for Con to respond: 1. The Con writes, "I did not state mayo is ONLY a musical instrument ." I reply that the Con clearly implied that mayonaise was a musical instrument, if not specifically stating it. For example, if I say, "Some actors are really dang short. Joe Pesci was in Goodfellas." I may not be explicitly stating that Joe Pesci is short, but, by implication, I am indeed stating such. The Con cannot wiggle out of this on a technicality. 2. The Con writes, "So bubble wrap had TWO purposes it was meant to be used for before it became used for what we use it for today." I reply that the Con has demonstrated NO PROOF WHATSOEVER that mayonaise can be used in a legitimate musical setting. Spoons, too, are used primarily for eating, but I would never deny the inherently musical qualities of spoons. Mayonnaise, however, is an altogether different animal. If it mayonnaise makes ANY NOISE AT ALL, that noise is disgusting, and no one would listen to it except maybe fans of Punk Rock. 4. The Con writes, "Squidward is below average when it comes to intelligence so we must assume he knows less than an average person and therefore we can conclude that his word is not reliable." I reply that the Con's chart is not authoritative when we look at the consensus of science on the intelligence of squids. On the contrary, squids are highly intelligent, and their brain capacities dwarfs that of a squirrel by orders of magnitude. "The cephalopod class of mollusks are considered the most intelligent invertebrates and an important example of advanced cognitive evolution amongst animals in general. The coleoidea sub-class of the cephalopods includes the orders of cuttlefish, squid and octopuses and it is these (particularly the latter two) which are considered the most intelligent. Without exception all cephalopods are active predators and the ability to locate and capture prey often demands some sort of reasoning power." http://www.sciencedaily.com... See the youtube video I posted demonstrating the utter idiocy of stinkin' squirrels. http://www.youtube.com... If the Con has any human decency, they will concede this point and do it publicly before one and all. 21. The Con writes, "a cat is most defiantly an instrument." I reply that the Con is clearly changing the definitions. By implication, they indicated mayonnaise was a music instrument. Now they are saying a cat is an "instrument" because its furry, innocent and uncomprehending face somehow calms the raging storm within. Now, while I cannot deny the medicinal properties of cats, mayonnaise is, in fact, unhealthy. Japan, for instance, was a nation with no history of obesity outside of Sumo wrestlers until Western Capitalist Imperialism introduced mayonnaise to their shores: http://www.japantimes.co.jp... I quote: "One of the causes of Japanese is obesity is the popularity of 'Puga-chan', which is a confection of squirrel, squid, sponge and star-fish fried in mayonnaise and covered with a light dusting of paprika. Studies have conclusively proven that Japanese people who eat this every breakfast balloon up as big as stinkin' walruses, and they're not even the Sumos! Vote Con!" Clearly I am winning this debate, as usual. The Con should have thought twice before messing with mightbenihilism.