Ultimate Team War

I will note that I meant to respond to Pro's strategies but forgot for some reason. I will respond to them in this round, as well as responding to his rebuttals to my strategies. ======= I will begin by noting that Pro suggested the rule that the battle takes place on a neutral playing field, where no one has an immediate advantage. Therefore, the battle would have to take place where there is no metal located on the battlefield itself (Magneto's advantage). The only metal available would be provided by each character. On Team Pro that might include the borg collective, whatever container houses Durandal, or whatever metal is included in their clothing. Luckily for Team Con, all Con characters are completely nude[1]. As a result, Megneto has no metal nearby that could kill anyone unless he uses the borg collective (which would destroy the borg), or Durandal's unit (which would destroy Durandal. 1. I will note here that this fact itself gives some31john a +381 boost to his female repulsion ability. I will rebut Pro's strategies, then move on to defending my own. ====== Pro Incapacitation Strategy: Pro's destruction of debate. org's server does no damage to my team, since none of them gain their power from it, nor are they exclusively bound to it for attacks (Admittedly, this would incapacitate or even destroy PoeJoe+1 if I had chosen him. Unfortunately for Team Pro, I did not). Additionally, this strategy would earn Team Pro Leader MTGandP a permaban from Phil once the server was restored. ---------- Pro Victory Strategy 1: This strategy is too vague to offer a response. Pro agreed that it should be a neutral battlefield. Now he seems to be suggesting that the battlefield is all of Earth. If that is the case, then the distance between each character, and the near impossibility of Magneto locating each character among the 7 billion people on Earth would render the effect of an isolated natural disaster negligible. He would have to destroy the entire planet for guaranteed success - a power I don't think any of Team Pro's characters possess. If we are on a neutral battlefield, then the only metal available to Magneto is Durandal and the borg collective, as mentioned above - since the entirety of Team Con is completely in-the-buff, exposed to all the world, nude. That means that Team Pro would be killing two of his characters in order to kill two of mine - we are still even (3 vs. 3). -------- Pro Victory Strategy 2: The only one of those characters possessing the ability to place an impenetrable forcefield around anyone is the Invisible Woman. Fortunately for Team Con, Naked31John can easily repulse any attempt by the invisible woman to get near the group. -------- Pro Victory Strategy 3: Pro has not offered any logical reason as to why the borg could so easily assimilate my entire team. If they can do so at will, then that renders the point of such a battle useless, as well as rendering the rule on unlimited characters void. However, I will offer a rational as to why they would not. Ragnar Rahl, Askbob, and Som31John are all rabidly anti-conformists. They would never join any group or organization that emphasizes faceless, anti-individualist, conformist drones. -------- Pro Advantage Strategy 1: This strategy actually gives the advantage to Team Con. It consolidates Team Pro into one target (the borg collective) while simultaneously opening up the borg collective (including Magneto and Cable) to all the weaknesses of Magneto and Cable (see destruction of Team Pro points 1, 3, and 5). ===== I will note that I did not outline any specific strategy in Round 2. I showed how each of Team Pro's characters were susceptible to being incapacitated, assimilated, or destroyed. Due to the confusion caused by my posting strategies in this manner, rather than as victory strategies, I will not respond to Pro's rebuttals. I will save those for his rebuttals of my Victory Strategies, which I will provide below. ----- Con Victory Strategy 1: 1. Naked31John incapacitates the Invisible Woman by remaining near Team Con. She finds herself strangely unable to approach them by his mere presence. 2. Askbob hacks into Durandal's system and implants a virus that Durandal (being 500 years old and in the future) was not programmed to be protected against. 3. Since Pro argues that his response to all of Team Con's able and intimidating assaults is the assimilation of Cable and Magneto, the only thing left is to defeat the Magneto-Cable borg. This can be done in one of two ways: a) Brian Eggleston unleashes a harsh string of adjectives, which might appear similar to the following: "Look at those delightfully mindless, useless-as-a-toolbox, wheelchair-bound Captain Picards! " The 'Captain Picards' bit would prove to be too much for the Magneto-borgs, who would immediately become depressed. As the depression moves from borg to borg it grows exponentially, eventually becoming unbearable. Each of the 64,002 borgs unceremoniously commit suicide because they are drones and unable to think for themselves. b) Som31John, Ragnar Rahl, and Askbob - all confirmed /b/tards - team up to insult, deride, and otherwise mock the Magneto-borgs in a manner that is unsuitable for debate. org's Terms of Service. The fact that they are all naked and together only makes their attack more X-Rated (and thus more effective), oddly enough. -------- Con Victory Strategy 2: 1. The /b/tards, minus Ragnar Rahl, team up to hurl sexist, chauvinist insults at the Invisible Woman. The Invisible Woman exists the battle field, runs home, and cries herself to sleep. This effectively takes her out of the battle. 2. Ragnar Rahl coaxes Magneto into a debate about metals. As R&R is known to do, the subject subtly shifts to the use of metal as specie, which turns into the finer points and merits of pure capitalism over all other systems. These subtle changes, along with frustratingly misguided positions, keep Magneto simultaneously enthralled and frustrated. Finally Magneto realizes the uselessness of attempting to change R&R's mind and allows him to have the last word. Ragnar's 'Last Word' is so effective is causes Magneto's brain to hemorrhage. Blood drips from his ears first, then his nose and eye sockets. He chokes on his own blood just before he reaches total brain damage. 3. Askbob, once the Invisible Woman is dispatched, lures Cable into entering his mind. Askbob is effectively sacrificing himself for the team's ultimate victory, but it is quickly shown to be worth it. Cable becomes extremely emotionally distraught; so completely disturbed that when he is lured into a telepathy battle with Logic-Master he is easily overwhelmed. The resulting stress on his brain from Askbob's disturbed mental state and Logic-Masters mental barrage that his head explodes. 4. a) Brian Eggleston sets up a Comedy Stand (similar to a lemonade stand) and uses his super-comedy to incapacitate the borg. While the borg are laughing uncontrollably, they fail to notice the poison that had been placed in their lemonade drinks. There were no survivors. b) (alternate tactic) Brian Eggleston uses his advanced charisma to trick the borg into leaving their collective and joining his pseudo-religious cult. Because they are such automatons; and because they lack minds of their own they are easily convinced to drink the kool-aid. It is flavored 'red'. Plus, Brian gets rich.