chuck Norris has nothing on the Stig

When Batman mentions Chuck Norris, The Joker stops laughing!The Union spread by a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris.Follow the way's of Chuck Norris and he will let you live.Chuck Norris is the only man who can actually digest corn.Chuck Norris can un-bake a cake...using the refrigerator. Chuck Norris Plays his Records on a Microwave.Chuck Norris gets his Tattoos done with a Jackhammer.To kick or not to kick? That is the- Wait. Chuck Norris never questions.Chuck Norris once made a computer out of a pizza box.Chuck Norris can Direct an Orchestra with Roundhouse kicks.If there's something strange in your neighborhood who you gonna call? Chuck Norris.Siri flirts with Chuck Norris every once in a while.Chuck Norris has been to all seven continents without traveling a mile.One time Chuck Norris strangled a man with his own beard.One time Chuck Norris stared a man to death.Chuck Norris went to an all you can eat restaurant ...... He's still there When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris.Fear of spiders is arachnophobia, fear of tight spaces is claustrophobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic. Chuck Norris can whisper into his own ear.Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone. Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afraid to move.Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories.There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.Chuck Norris won American Idol using only sign language. Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.Once the cop pulled over Chuck Norris....the cop was lucky to leave with a warning.Chuck Norris won the World Series of Poker using Pokemon cards.Some magicians can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butterChuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience.Chuck Norris can cough in 7 different languages.Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.Chuck Norris once threw a hand grenade and killed 50 people.......then it exploded.Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today as Giraffes.Chuck Norris once got bit by a rattle snake........ After three days of pain and agony ..................the rattle snake died.Chuck Norris donates his beard clippings to the Army so they can make Kevlar vests.When Chuck Norris goes to job interviews, employers give him their resumes.Chuck Norris can un-toast bread.When Chuck Norris plays Nazi Zombies it's the Zombies who build barriers.Did you know Chuck Norris is a famous inventor? He created pain.Whenever people see Chuck Norris this happens: Fear my friend. ;)