In a battle between Ann Coulter and Rachel Maddow, Ann Coulter would win.

I offer my thanks to my opponent for her strong response, and my apologies for my own delay. However, I will assure you that I have spent this time well in meditation upon the evil that is Ann, and remain assured that she would be victorious over Rachel. (1) Coulter is as smart as Maddow, just more evil Ann is as intelligent as Rachel. Her mind is simply turned towards social order at the expense of other people's suffering. Rachel's apparent coherency comes from the fact that she considers how her statements impact others, and that she tries to avoid causing suffering. [1] Ann, on the other, desires suffering the way a pig does mud, and makes a point of bringing it to others. [2] (2) Ann Coulter would annihilate Rachel Maddow My opponent has agreed that Ann has the hatred, and the clone army. Maddow, on the other hand, is merely unobtrusive and likes to wear dark colors. [3] At best, Maddow is qualified to be a ninja. While ninjas do have great capability [4], there is no debate as to whether or not a ninja could take a dark Jedi. Coulter is clearly such a being, or, at the very least, a witch. [5] Witches beat ninjas too. [6] Ann also must have mind control powers of some sort, [7] so it stands to reason that Rachel would be too hypnotized by Ann to attack. I would have argued something about Rachel being too smitten by Ann to attack, but Ann's figure is likely too boyish to register. [8] Actually, that brings up another point. While Maddow may be, as my opponent has stated "man-ish," there is a very high likelihood that Ann Coulter actually *is* a man. [9] Don't tell me that she's a post-operation transsexual. It's clear that Ann must have balls (in a manner of speaking)[10], and that she is not on a hormone replacement regimen. [11] (3) Being Gay Just Isn't Evil Enough My opponent has argued that "Rachel Maddow is on the dark side too, she's gay." Being gay just doesn't cut it anymore. [12] Not even for members of the Roman Catholic Church, which is saying something. [13] [14] Not much, considering recent church pronouncements, but something. [15] Evil is most simply determined as that which is not socially acceptable. Clearly, any special abilities Rachel acquired by liking women must have been lost in the wave of social acceptance that has penetrated all but rural Texas and those few God-forsaken plots of land in the middle of America that people would only visit if they needed to rent a cheap horror movie set. [16] Ann, on the other hand, has cruelty on her side, [17] and the Big Book of Evil says that is always in style. [18] Ann dishes out hate and vitriol carefully veiled in innuendo and precise word choice. [19] That's the type of cleverness we would expect from a real evil overlord. While I agree with my opponent that more people would (or should) like to see Maddow smack down Coulter, that is simply a testament to how diabolically evil Ann is. I would imagine that even most puritanical Christians would prefer victory for the lesbian over the witch if it came down to a fight between the two. After all, the historical treatment for witches was *fire.* [20] Gays got off *light* with electricity and emasculation. [21] [22] Assuming the punishments were designed to fit the crime, this further illustrates that homosexuality is just not nor has ever been considered as evil as, well, *actual* evil. I thank untitled_entity for her participation in this debate, but, taking my cue from Ann, I must warn you that she is part of a leftist plot to destroy America. [23] The only way you can stop her is by voting Pro! Also, see the comments for an illustration of how the Ann-Rachel fight would turn out. [24] Clearly, Maddow has met her match! My apologies to any witches who may have been offended by comparison to Coulter. Please see the comments section for cites. There were just too many for the character count.