Topic To Be Chosen During Debate

BANG! YOU'RE DEAD! RE: "I would argue that the pressure would be a driving force for the shy to act, since they would assume that if they want results, they would have to act. More on this later though. " If this pressure were such a driving force in getting them to act, then social anxiety that concerns courtship should not even exist as the pressure would coerce the men in question into asking other people out as quickly as possible. It is more reasonable to conclude that the pressure is simply a means of making shy guys fearful of the idea of asking someone out. If anything is a driving force, it is our biology given that mostly all of us crave social interaction as well as intercourse. Thus, if the social code were to be changed, there would be next to nothing to keep our biology in check and anxiety that concerns courtship would essentially dissipate. Thus, asking a someone out would be the equivalent to eating a hamburger. When you're hungry, you eat a hamburger. When you crave a companion, you ask someone out. It would be as simple as that. With that being said, I shall now rebutt each of the hypothetical scenarios which CON provides arguments for: =====RE: SCENARIO A: Guy likes Girl. Guy is too shy, Girl doesn't know but doesn't return the feelings. CON continues to insist that this scenario would result in the guy feeling bad about himself since him being shy while in a system where the burden is equal yet getting no confirmation from the girl would tell him that the girl wasn't interested in him at all. In addition, he suggest that this system encourages shy guys to give less output while expecting better result. In response, CON's system encourages denial of the truth. Sure, under this system, the shy guy can always say something such as "Hmm, well, she only doesn't want me since I didn't act and because she doesn't wanna violate the norm. If I did act, she'd definately go out with me. " This system leads individuals to arrogance as they'll never really stop to consider the idea of whether or not there is anything else about them which a woman would find unappealing. Thus, shy guys under this system will not only be too prideful to accept what may be the truth, but also won't be willing to improve themselves so that woman will be more accepting of them. On the other hand, my system encourages the truth as well as self improvement (CON may try to argue that his system encourages this, but at most, it's only in the department of confidence to make a move). In my system, a guy simply can't fall back on the idea that he is not getting any action because he didn't act and that the girl may like him, but doesn't wanna violate the social norm. Rather, the guy concludes that the girl simply doesn't like him. When acknowledging this, the guy works from the angle of "What can I do to get this girl to like me" and not merely "Hmm, well if I simply work up the courage to ask her out, everything will be okay. " This would in turn lead to more successful relationship as merely having the nerve to ask someone out is not what a romantic relationship is supported by. If that were the case, then no romantic relationship would ever crumble. Thus, if a guy focuses on improving himself so that he may get with the particular girl he is interested in rather than focusing on having the nerve to simply make a move, this will actually encourage more output towards developing a specific and successful romantic relationship. Thus, it is quite clear that CON is dead wrong when he claims that shy guys would be giving less output while expecting better results. ====RE: SCENARIO B: Guy likes Girl. Girl also likes Guy. Guy and Girl are both shy. CON is saying that neither party will ever make a move, but he is quite wrong. Besides my argument that no pressure leads to no shyness, let us look at this from a different approach. If it is indeed true that my system won't deter shyness, then it is true that neither side would be pressured to ask the other out for quite some time. However, due to the mutual shyness, the two would have something significant in common, thus could become good friends. After taking a while to know one another long enough, one would eventually feel comfortable enough to ask the other out. This is a good thing because neither can simply rush what could be a "failed relationship" by asking one another out without fully understanding the other's personality. In order words, my system DOES offer improvement. ===Scenario C: Guy likes Girl. Girl also likes Guy. Guy is shy, but Girl is not. I acknowledge that it is not unheard of for a woman to make the first move, however, it is against the norm and thus more often than not, looked down upon as it is within human nature to generally look down upon all of that which does not abide by the norm. People generally don't go challenging the norm because they yearn for acceptance, hence why so many homosexuals tend to keep quiet about their sexuality (the same goes for so many atheist). In the case of a woman asking a man out, the woman may fear that she could come off as "desperate" or rather offensive to the guy as the guy might think that the girl is emasculating him through taking the role which is generally assigned to the man. ===RE: C1: The girl will need time to decide/wait: 1) You could turn this around and say the same for guys. PRO should be against the staus quo as it allows a guy to ask out all kinds of girls rather than waiting for someone of high quality to come along. 2) There would be a great deal of improvement as girls wouldn't be restricted to hooking up with people who are ASSUMED to be of greater quality. The girl could approach whomever she wanted to approach at her own convenience rather than wait for someone to sweep her off her feet. Surely that's better than just sitting around and relying on SOMEONE else. In other words, CON's system is like encouraging someone to simply hitch a ride with their parents or friends to a PARTICULAR mall or movie theater rather than simply get their own car and drive to ANY mall or the movie theater at their own convenience. ===RE: C2: The girl likes the shy guy so much, she asks him out at once. "So much fervor" goes on the assumption that the girl likes a guy enough to violate the social norm. My system simply enables more options as the girl won't simply be limited to the guys whom she'd like with "so much fervor. " ===RE: Flirting allows uncertainty, therefore creates an exhilarating procedure: Although I will agree that flirting allows uncertainty, I won't necessarily agree with the conclusion that it allows for an exhilarating procedure. There are alot of women who simply flirt for fun while not really being romantically interested in the guys that they flirt with. This often leads to a bad experience as many don't like to have their emotions toyed with on someone else's whim? In addition, not everyone likes uncertainty. Some people aren't interested in the game like process which is flirting and would rather simply be clear on their potential partner's stance, hence allowing for an easier procedure when it comes to courtship. ===RE: Biology I can't be vote down under the false idea that shy men are biologically inferior. ===RE: New system does not relieve social anxiety: For the most part, I covered this point initially. In terms of improving social awkwardness in general, communicating with someone else (who is not a part of your family) does the trick (which is the result of my plan) as well, so improvement of social awkwardness in general has no bearing here. BOTTOMLINE: My plan makes courtship easier for men and women whereas CON's acknowledges that his plan is a long redundant process of trial and error that relies on uncertainty as well as self delusion (see first scenario). In addition, my plan eliminates social anxiety that concerns courting.