Western governments should not block the sale of genetically-reconstructed Neanderthal slaves

These are exciting times here at Eggleston's Ethical Enterprises: the good people who brought you The SkyShrine fast-track prayer device; The Pak-a-Spak Rucksack commuter accessory and EuroPimps ethical soliciting services for punters with a social conscience. (1) That's because our scientists are busy building on recent research done at Harvard University (2) to create artificial Neanderthal DNA based on the genetic code found in bone samples taken from the preserved remains of a long dead member of this extinct species of hominid. The resulting DNA will then be inserted into stem cells which will be injected into a gorilla embryo in the early stages of life, and would be powerful enough to steer the embryo's development along Neanderthal, rather than primate, lines, thus creating a living, breathing Neanderthal baby. This process will be repeated to produce a sustainable breeding population in around fifteen years from now. This revolutionary non-human breeding programme could bring huge benefits to the manufacturing and agricultural industries of developed nations (as well as massive profits for Eggleston's Ethical Enterprises) when the resulting Neanderthals are sold as non-human slaves to undertake the low skilled and potentially hazardous jobs in factories and on farms. However, this all depends on government's not blocking the development of Neanderthal slaves on human rights grounds and crucial to this debate is whether genetically-reconstructed Neanderthals should be considered to be legally human or animal. My contention is that, because these slaves are the species Homo neanderthalensis, not Homo sapiens, they were not human, and I, therefore, assert that they should be subject to animal, not human, rights legislation. (3) To illustrate this point, I ask you to consider the document from whence a human identity originates: the birth certificate. This how a typical a Neanderthal slave birth certificate might read: BIRTH CERTIFICATE Given Name(s): Dave the Slave Family Name: Not applicable. Date of Birth: 27th August, 2027 Father's Name: Not known, but possibly Thug, Oik or Yob. Father's Occupation: Paleolithic hunter-gatherer Mother's Name: Hairy Sue from London Zoo Mother's Occupation: Gorilla The authorities would never accept that, would they? They may as well give birth certificate to a pet dog or cat. And because Neanderthals would be considered as animals rather than humans, bosses could legally make Neanderthal slaves work without pay, only providing them with basic food and cages to live in, and thus saving a fortune on payroll costs. Furthermore, owners of Neanderthal slaves won't have to waste money on safety equipment or make provisions for employee pensions or health care. Better still, these cavemen coolies could be worked 16 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. This will delight racists because Neanderthal slaves will take economic migrants' jobs and force them to "go back where they came from", but more importantly, the use of Neanderthal slaves in manufacturing industries will mean Western firms will be able to undercut rivals based in China, India and Brazil who are forced to pay their workers wages in exchange for their labour. Personally, I can't wait to see the first batch of Eggleston's Ethical Enterprises' Neanderthal slaves go on sale and I am sure the members of Debate.org can't wait either, and I urge you to vote Pro in support of this scheme. Thank you. (1) http://break-in-news.com... (2) http://www.telegraph.co.uk... (3) http://humanorigins.si.edu...