A hockey player that can't be named, and my kidneys refuse to love each other.

It was my fourth drink of the night and this smoking hot 9/10 was across from me. I walk up to her. I am going to say hey and stuff right? What I got to lose? I build up my confidence. I go over there alpha as f*ck. She looks at me. Demeyes.jpgI open my mouth"Finna Bust a nut"http://www.youtube.com...She throws drink at me. MFW I f*cking suck at talking to women. http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com...; />Do you ever sing in the public shower? Sometimes i post nude pics of myself on the internet and send them to girls I like. I one time stole $1000 worth of cocaine from a drug dealer then saw him kill his workers. I lold while doing the cocaine. I have aliens in my head. I let these guys inject something in my brain and it went thorughout my body and made me telepathic and sh1t. It was awesome, but these aliens are trying to control me and resisting is hard (phrasing boom). Do you ever just sit at the park and watch children to freak the paretns out. It sooo funny then you talk to the kids then offer them ice cream. The parent flip. Its just a prank tho. Then you point pistol at the parent and say "im taking the f*cuking kid and selling him into slaver" it sooooo funny prank.The best prank my friend from high school ever did was do a breaking and entering into our friends home and we stab their parent to death. LOL he know its a prank and we jus playin.My psychontriast says because i didnt have a father i have drinking problems and drug problems. Sometimes I bathe with my clothes on.I joined the SS becaue i thought it stood for super smooth. My grandpa drove trains in WWII. He was a nazi who hated jews. Amazin. I am wanted in 12 countries for weapons smuggling and drug smuggling. I am an international terrorist who is wanted. I like to wipe while laying down. My bisexuality is due to me being awesome he said. I slept with my college professor. He was old. Ewwwww. I am surpised i dont have an std i slept with everyone in romania pretty much old young ugly pretty. , I read your little ramblings about your little pissy teaching jobs and your dild0 factories. I would make fun of the DJ's but well, I mean do I even need to? Maybe one day you can move to HK like me and be a banker but that would require a real education on your part. First, I live in Hong Kong. And I mean only Hong Kong island, I refuse to step foot in China. When I have to use the airport I take a helicopter across Kowloon just so I never need to step foot onto your sh1t infested soil. Yeah that's right fa@gots, our airport is another island so that totally counts. Chinese restaurants? Only in the nicest hotels, thank you. I'd prefer not to have this "gutter oil" I've been reading about in the Wall Street Journal on my way to work in my private Mercedes. Now let's talk about your "women". Rainy, is it? It seems a lot of you are trying to have sex with your students. Great job, I guess. Mine? Bitch please. Educated at the finest girls schools HK has to offer, university at Oxford where she majored in modeling. Yeah, we bang. I'd go into more detail but I don't want to ruin your nightly starfishing. I have to leave you f@ggots something, right? She's also pretty good at speaking ching chong to whoever comes over and fixes my jacuzzi when it breaks (stupid penthouse maintenance people, China can't even get luxury right). What's that, you attempt to speak Chinese? Wow, what a totally awesome use of your time! Now you have no education AND it seems like you're a f*ckking Downie. I'm so proud. No, I don't need to know Chinese. I have a real job that involves something outside of a sh1t tier 88 city so it requires English. God's language. I can't even imagine getting down to these people's levels and trying to communicate logic, freedom, liberty, and everything else those retards don't understand. Well, that's all for me at the moment. I'll answer any questions you overweight, hairy f@ggots have. Currently Jacqueline (yeah she has a real English name) and I are going to some art show opening on Hollywood Road. Afterwards I'll drink real alcohol (Blue label Jonny Walker) and do coke off her a$$. Cheers! Dont you hate it when you run out of cociane? And you have to have weird choke sex with your coworker to get some more. Hahahahha awkwaaaaaard.