Catholicism is a way better religion than yours

Oh, looky you Mr. Big Penis. Trying to out-match me in your out-matchiness. Hyyhaw right. *snort*Lets get this puppy humpin'.REBUTTAL"and"NO!THE DOCTRINE OF YAHWEH VS FSMBoth of these deities lay out a doctrine that they wish humans to follow. How do they compare?The Catholic conception of Yahweh is a very strict God. He has certain things he requires you to do or not do, as directed by the church authorities.If you go against any of these things, you must give the priests a blowjob to get out of hell.These things include but are not limited to:1. Do not tolerate anyone who is different.2. Hate first if it's easier.3. Give the church lots of money.4. Hate second and give the church lots of money.5. Discrimination is a wonderful tool and give us more money.6. We can sin but you can't unless we think it is good, like hate, and give us more money.7. Pedophiles are bad unless of course he is a priest then it is OK by us and we need more money.8. Burn the witches.9. Money.10. Money. Give me it now.Whereas, the doctrine of the FSM is much more understandable.He has offered unto us the Eight "I'd-really-rather-you-didn'ts":"1. I'd really rather you didn't act like a sanctimonious holier-than-thou asss when describing my noodly goodness. If some people don't believe in me, that's okay. Really, I'm not that vain. Besides, this isn't about them so don't change the subject.2. I'd really rather you didn't use my existence as a means to oppress, subjugate, punish, eviscerate, and/or, you know, be mean to others. I don't require sacrifices, and purity is for drinking water, not people.3. I'd really rather you didn't judge people for the way they look, or how they dress, or the way they talk, or, well, just play nice, okay? Oh, and get this into your thick heads: woman = person. man = person. Samey = Samey. One is not better than the other, unless we're talking about fashion and I'm sorry, but I gave that to women and some guys who know the difference between teal and fuchsia.4. I'd really rather you didn't indulge in conduct that offends yourself, or your willing, consenting partner of legal age AND mental maturity. As for anyone who might object, I think the expression is "go fvck yourself," unless they find that offensive in which case they can turn off the TV for once and go for a walk for a change.5. I'd really rather you didn't challenge the bigoted, misogynistic, hateful ideas of others on an empty stomach. Eat, then go after the basturds.6. I'd really rather you didn't build multi million-dollar synagogues / churches / temples / mosques / shrines to my noodly goodness when the money could be better spent (take your pick):Ending povertyCuring diseasesLiving in peace, loving with passion, and lowering the cost of cableI might be a complex-carbohydrate omniscient being, but I enjoy the simple things in life. I ought to know. I AM the creator.7. I'd really rather you didn't go around telling people I talk to you. You're not that interesting. Get over yourself. And I told you to love your fellow man, can't you take a hint?8. I'd really rather you didn't do unto others as you would have them do unto you if you are into, um, stuff that uses a lot of leather/lubricant/vaseline. If the other person is into it, however (pursuant to #4), then have at it, take pictures, and for the love of Mike, wear a CONDOM! Honestly, it's a piece of rubber. If I didn't want it to feel good when you did it I would have added spikes, or something."There are actually two others but they got lost somewhere.These fairer doctrines from the FSM are another reason why Pastafarianism is better than Catholicism.RELIGIOUS ATTIREThis is what Catholics wear:http://mickeymalta.files.wordpress.com...That's more gay than a San Fransisco man with a Hawaiian shirt, snorting glitter, watching Sex in The City, shaving his legs, talking about his feelings with an exaggerated high pitch voice and...and...and...having anal sex with another man.This is what Pastafarians wear:http://4.bp.blogspot.com...That's right. They wear Johnny Depp. (also, occasionally pasta strainers, cause that's just practical) This is because pirates are highly revered and divine beings according to Pastafarian doctrine. We do not accept the propaganda that has been spewed about them from church like that of the catholic people. They are good, puppy loving people who disperse candy to children.If you google "Pastafarian attire", all pirates is what comes up.In the beginning there was the word and the word was "aaaarrrgg".This is yet another reason why Pastafarianism is better than Catholocism.Pro has still to provide ONE reason to think otherwise.SOURCESAll relevant referencing can be found in The Gospel of The Flying Spaghetti Monster:http://rpcmp.ru...For further and completely unnecessary information, consult your pineal gland.