The Superior Weapon in a Zombie Apocalypse

I will now like to take this time to refute the arguments brought up by my opponent. His first weapon is the Forearm Machete. My opponent claims that the machete can be worn on the run with no detriment to the user. This is a blatant lie. First off, wearing only one forearm machete wouldn't be as effective as wearing two, yet there are detriments to either wearing one or wearing two. Firstly, the machete blade cannot be retracted, so when the user is wearing it, the only way to get rid of the blades is to take off the strap. Clearly, a lone human survivor would be taking off the forearm machetes frequently as almost every activity would be hindered by this 18 inch blade in front of your hands. Driving would be impossible with them on as the blade would dig into the dashboard. Opening a door would be impossible without the blade digging into the door. Sleeping with them on would be impossible as you might cut yourself as you sleep. They would be a massive hindrance when you try to partake in any task. The only viable solution to these issues is then to take off the forearm machetes while partaking in any activity requiring your hands to be nimble. Let's just say that while you have the machete off (which will be most of the time) and you get surprise attacked by a zombie. The first thing you need to do is strap on the machete blade which will waste valuable time, especially if you're surprise attacked and panic induces fumbling with the strap. Taking your time to strap on two would be even more difficult as now you have a blade attached to your arm which is trying to strap something to your other arm. Furthermore, you must strap on the weapon fully and tightly lest the weapon slip when you're using it. Poleaxes and bill hooks pose none of these issues as they are grab, go, and put down instead of grab, strap, go, take off, then put away. The second weapon my opponent chose was the aluminum alloy baseball bat. However, I would like to point out that aluminum alloy baseball bats will dent. If swung repeatedly with enough force at large objects e. g. doors, heads, the baseball bat will dent. If a baseball is dented is effectively becomes useless as the bat will cave in after a dent. Thus, the baseball bat will be needed to be replaced frequently, limiting its effectiveness. Furthermore, if a zombie gets close enough the baseball bat loses its power. Hitting a zombie with the thin end of a baseball bat will only make it mad. My opponent may argue that the forearm machetes are for close quarters combat, but you cannot wear a forearm machete as the hand is needed to hold the perpendicular grip on the knife blade. Furthermore, swinging a baseball bat one-handed could not only sprain your wrist, but it is far less powerful and more likely to miss as it is not as controlled as a two-handed swing. The third weapon my opponent argues for is the Beretta M9. First of all, the Beretta M9 already has several deficits, mainly being the slide on the gun breaking and cracks in the frame as it is made of aluminum (which is why it is lighter) and not a more durable substance. My opponent admits that the longbow is silent, but a silencer would create the same effect with the M9. However, this is incorrect and the best silencer only reduces the decibel of the weapon by 20 – 30 decibels. The 9 mm guns produce 160 decibels of sound. Even with the best silencer, the weapon will still produce at least 120 decibels of sound, equivalent to a rock concert. This will cause hearing loss to the user, dulling an important sense in a zombie apocalypse. Thus, firing a silenced weapon will still attract zombies. My opponent claims that firearms are superior to bows in every way, but a Beretta M9 only has a range of 50 m, while a longbow has a range of 160 m, clearly disproving my opponent's point. Though firearms may be more powerful than a longbow, every gun will produce far more sound than a longbow, attracting hundreds of zombies to your location. So, what have we learned today? Forearm machetes are ineffective as they will hinder your ability to do anything while they are on. Furthermore, baseball bats are ineffective at close range as they inflict less damage. The Beretta M9 while silenced will still produce enough noise to attract lots of zombies. On the other hand, the poleaxe is effective at close range and long range as the shaft of the poleaxe is effectively a weapon. The poleaxe has multiple capabilities, from slicing, slashing, and smashing. The bill hook is a close quarters combat, perfect for decapitation and slicing. The English longbow has range, power, and is silent. Furthermore, creating longbows and arrows is simple, easy, and quick. For these reasons, Vote Pro. P. S. Please remember that I am leaving tomorrow, so I would like it if my opponent could wait as long as possible before posting his argument. Thanks so much! Sources: . http://thegunzone.com... . http://en.wikipedia.org... . http://www.howstuffworks.com... . http://www.freehearingtest.com... . http://en.wikipedia.org...