It is more beneficial in a relationship to have sex before marriage instead of waiting until after

Refuting Cons claims"However, marriage is more than just a legal contract. It is a commitment to developing a long-lasting, positive relationship with another person. Obviously, a certain amount of objectivity is required in deciding who you want to spend your life with"Marriage - Is a union or contract between two people [1]Literally that is all it is. The only other ties that can be claimed to this are religious, because the church feels it has the right to moderate it. Regardless of that, it is irrelveant to what we are discussing. Couple =/= marriage.At the stage of dating you are exploring and looking to find someone whom you could possibly commit too. Factors that could play a role in determining a spouse. (1) Income(2) Personality (3) Sexual attraction (4) Sexual compatibility(R1)(5) Family(6) ReligionAlso a fast majority of other issues. The point being, that the dating stage is an experimental stage to learn everything about that person that you can. So when you get ready to marry them, there are no hidden secretes. Think about if you were dating someone, and they wait till marriage to tell you that they had HIV. This issue was never addressed because no intercourse had ever taken place and they were scared of losing the other person. That is using marriage as a way to lock someone into commitment and ultimate causing unhappiness to both. Without being able to explore sexually prior to marriage, there is a good possibility that when a couple gets married and has sex it will not be what they think it is or they possibly may not be satisfied with their partner. If they are married and this occurs they have 1 of 3 options. Deal with it and stay married, file a divorce, or try and find a way and fix it. All of this leads to issues within the relationship. Having sex prior to marriage addresses this issue and helps the couple decide whether or not they are truly compatible for each other. Refutation 2"Before one gives of themselves physically, it should first be determined that they are compatible with their partner in regards to who they are (their goals, personality, opinions, etc.). There's a big difference between letting sex establish a false connection and letting it express a genuine one."This was somewhat addressed in the prior contention so I will keep it short. Sex can literally be just sex. People over glorify what sex is. Most people first experience with sex is not some magical moment with lights shining down from heaven upon you, as you are doing it. It is two klutzy people trying to fiddle around each other to find what goes where or how to do what. While determining your goals before marriage such as career options, money, personality and many other issues, you are accomplishing the purpose of dating. As I said In my prior contention, dating is a way for people to see if they are ready to or possibly want to commit to the person in question. If you are going to do that with personality, income, and any other variable you can think to place here. The next most logical process is to also try out sexual experiences. As I have shown in R1 sex is a huge factor in a relationship whether we like to admit it or not[2]. Not knowing anything about your partner sexually and then getting married to them, can cause people a severe lack of happiness within marriage or even just in a relationship. "In addition, the last two citations are both sources citing the benefits of abstinence until marriage, including but not limited to: lower divorce rates, reports of being happier and earning higher annual incomes than those that had engaged in premarital sex"This claim is quite easy to debunk. I knew it would be brought up and I will spend a short paragraph explaining why you see statistics like this. Why are divorce rates lower among people whom wait to have sex? Alright so the first question we mus ask is who waits to have sex until marriage. I mean it is almost commonly accepted among liberals and non Christians as having nothing wrong with it. Generally people who wait to have sex until marriage are either Christians or Extreme Conservatives. Now what are there two policies regarding marriage. Both of these types of people regard marriage as more than just a union, but label it "Holy Matrimony" or sacred territory [3]. So if a christian or conservative couple waited to have sex until after marriage, and happened to be completely unsatisfied with their partner sexually, do you think they would have a divorce? No they most defiantly would not. They would either try to stick it out and endure the lack of satisfaction or work on a way of fixing it which may not be possible. This can even be the case with trying to have kids or a sexually transmitted disease. Divorcee is considered sacrilege against God[4], so it is not an option and often locks Christians into unhappy relationships after marriage. This further goes to prove my resolution. That waiting to address these issues after marriage, is not beneficial to relationship because of the amount of strife and issues it can cause. All of this is especially applicable to Christians because to them marriage is a contract that should never be broken, while more modern people just see it as a contract that you can opt out on. So either way we look at it, the resolution would stand. More liberal people whom wait to have sex until marriage, are probably going to use divorce as an opt out if they are not sexually happy and should never have been married in the first place because they failed to explore each other sexually. Christian people who wait are possibly suffering from immense amounts of unhappiness in bed or sexually, because they feel obligated to stay with the person and not get a divorce. While I am on the topic, I will expound upon points in the prior round since Con asked me too. Since it is in the same topic I shall leave it under this rebuttal. [2] oral sex - sadly a lot of girls will never try this and feel its horrible. While most guys always want it. To be honest it can ve a vise versa thing as well. Where a girl may want it and her partner may not want it. It all depends on the persons expectations of sex. If a guy expects this and does not get it, it can cause issues. Believe it or not I have seen multiple friends break up primarily because of this reason. Waiting to after marriage brings the issue up later rather than sooner[3] Premature ejaculation - If a guy is not use to sex or just not good at it, or even possibly have medical issues with it. Sex could just last for no longer than 3 minutes. A bunch of issues could play into this such as his penis size or even just inexperience. Granted some people just can not have sex for long periods of time, which may leave one member of the couple very unhappy. [5] Sexual Identity - I don't know how else to word this, but just basically how kinky and crazy you are in bed. One person may want to try and film stuff or dress up, and the other could be really conservative about sex. [6] Nude attraction - if you wait to have sex chances are you probably want see your partner naked. When they take off their clothes you may not like their body or parts of them. Again breast size, penis size, etc. It just plays a role into how much you want to have sex with the person or if you are pleased with them physically. The point being is that waiting to address all these issues can lead to strife in a relationship or in marriage. I have explained how and why prior to this and in the last 2 rebuttals. Rebuilding Contention on Sexual Compatibly. For fear of repeating myself, I am going to keep this short. The most logical thought process someone can arrive at while trying to date is to find everything out about the person whom they are dating to see if they are meant for each other. This can include all the reasons I listed above such as money, personality, attraction, and sexual compatibility. If you address all these issues prior to marriage, there is nothing left hidden when you do get married. So you have a really good idea of whom you are marrying. If you wait to address certain issues after marriage, it can lead to divorce or unhappiness within the marriage. The resolution is simple. Addressing all of these issues, especially sexual compatibility and having sex before marriage can reduce problems within the marriage. It helps he couple find out if they really want to be together, and if they are compatible and think they actually want to stick it out for the long run. It is a way to understand everything about your partner before you enter into a contract with them. [1] http://www.merriam-webster.com...[2] http://www.psychologytoday.com...[3] http://en.wikipedia.org...[4] http://www.archden.org...