Legalize Gay Marriage

FYI, this debate (at least my parts) is going to be raunchy and adult in humor. If you don't like that kind of humor, please do not read this debate and just vote for me. Cheers. *Ore_Ele stands on the podium and up at the lectern* Hello everyone, and thank you for taking the time to read this most important topic. First, I would like to thank my opponent for taking this challenge. I like to tell you all why allowing homosexuals to marry is not only a horrible idea, it could spell the doom for modern society and our economy as we know it (and we all love where our economy currently is). My first question to my opponent is, why do you hate butt buddies? What have they ever done to you to make you detest them so much that you would wish modern equivalent of the black spot of death upon them by unleashing the plague of marriage upon them? They've already had to go through AIDS and prosecution, and spending life living in fear and you wish to open this Pandora's Box upon them?! How dare you! Marriage is the worse invention of mankind. It is a legal form of slavery which we've been brainwashed into accepting as a dream come true. But the fact of the matter is over 90% of deaths, are people that have been married at some point in their lives [1]. You hear that? Marriage kills! A lot! But not only that, marriage people have less fun [2], a side effect of slavery (why didn't the African Americans warn us that slavery sucks?!). This life of boring slavery, coupled with the fact that marriage will actually make you live longer [2] only makes it worse, like being a POW in a Vietnamese prisoner camp, only you won't be able to run for president off of that. No, I cannot sit ideally by while anti-gay special interest groups pretend to be looking out for our bro-banging brethren, all the while secretly leading them like lambs to the slaughter! I suggest that not only do we not allow gay marriage, we illegalize homosexually altogether. Get as far away from that accursed prison trap that puts a single shackle on your finger. In fact, illegalizing a person's genetic makeup does something amazing for us as a society (apart from telling nature that it's our bitch now and has to play by our rules). Illegal sex is HOT! Nothing is more boring than common, socially acceptable sex. And we are getting too liberal in what we socially accept (remember when saying "damn" in a movie was outrageous?). I have to dress a girl up like a half cow, half fish while smacking her with a stick, just to get a hard on. And it won't be long before society says that's okay too and I'll have to find something new. I can't take it anymore. Nothing spells sexual excitement like the fear of being arrested, or even executed for it [3]. It's like banging the principal's daughter in his bed while he is taking a shower in the morning getting ready for school, with the lights on, the door open, and her panties on the door knob. We need to give that kind of sexual rush to homosexuals, not take it away. I thank you all for reading and hope that you all can see that this is truly what is best for our pitchers and catchers, and the occasional third base coach (learned a lot of lessons about reaching third from them). Thank you [1] http://www.google.com...= [2] http://longevity.about.com... [3] http://www.google.com...