Imabench's 400th debate! Resolved: Sex should be an Olympic sport

Debate is now just 2 rounds long so that it actually stays as the 400th debateNow then, I believe that the glorious act of sex, in which a man sticks his hoo-ha into a woman's flingy-dingy, should be an olympic sport where nations send their best sex makers to compete for the Gold. Should sex be a sport, the final score for participants shall be determined based on the following on a scale of 1 to 10:Endurance: How long the sex lasts before the male climax's (If we waited until the women climaxed then the next Olympics would have started already)Creativity: New moves are always a bonus and nobody wants to see the same move over and over for 4 minutes. Audience Interest: If theyre cheering then you must be doing something rightPower: The couple would have sex on top of a richter scale to measure how powerful the sex is, It would technically be called the a 'sexter' scale in this case but it would still measure the level of thrusting going on. Size of goods: Nothing leads to good sex quite like a nice pair of cans and a hefty sized rod, so these shall be taken into account when calculating the final score. Theme: Like Ice skating, couples participating in sex are free to choose a theme for which they do it to, could be leather black, naughty hospital, naughty school teacher, etc etc============================================================================Now then, Arguments for why Sex should be an Olympic Sport:1) TV ratings of the Olympics would skyrocket! When you watch the Olympics, chances are youre only ever watching the 100 meter dash, a swimming event, gymnastics, or something else relatively short in length. However, the Olympics are FILLED with events nobody gives two sh*ts about like rifling, rowing, or soccer. Watching SEX on the other hand is something that EVERYONE would be interested in! (Just look at how much porn there is on the internet) If Sex was an Olympic Sport, it would be the most popular sport to watch in the Olympics which could mean more money for advertising which could mean funny commercials being aired like during the Superbowl. The sex event though could probably draw a bigger audience. 2) If its in the Olympics it could end up in College or High SchoolIf sex is in the Olympics, then why not make it a sport in college or high school? The US is a sports crazy nation and if Sex becomes a sport, then America will strive to be number 1 at it, which means that a good ole fashioned 'Sex team' could appear in your high school or college to help ordinary people just like you get REALLY REALLY GOOD AT SEX. Sex as a sport in high school and college could do wonders for obesity numbers in this country and if guys participate then they might get a f*cking clue about what to do AND WHAT NOT TO DO when having sex in the future (which im sure ladies will appreciate)Sure it could be awkward if you get cut from the Sex team at school and then everyone will know that you are terrible at it, but that just makes it more dramatic which leads me to my next argument:3) Sex, the movie! Youve seen movies where kids from terrible neighborhoods find their way out of poverty by being really good at a sport and getting a scholarship to a major university, youve seen it all the time. The same thing will happen if Sex were a sport! I can see the trailer now. .. . "Tyrone grew up in the worst part of Compton, but then one fateful day, Tyrone discovered he had a talent that could help him get out of poverty and earn him the respect he has always wanted. .. . He found out that he was really, really good at f*cking b*tches. .. . This is the story of how one teenager drove his way to the top by literally f*cking everyone in his path". .. .. I smell an Oscar! The point is, sports helps disadvantaged people rise out of poverty and some make a career out of it which they otherwise couldnt have done without sports, so if Sex was an olympic sport, it would eventually become a high school and college sport, and then young Tyrone here could have a chance to get out of poverty and be the first in his family to go to college. .. .. .. While also getting some mad p*ssy. 4) Sex, the other movieApart from those heart warming nothing-to-riches stories such as the Blind Side, you also have the classic boy-likes-girl movies that come out almost twice a year. If sex was a sport in high school, young Timmy who likes Jessica could theoretically join the sex team to get good at sex then woo Jessica, only to find out that Jessica is also on the sex team and then yatta yatta yatta, instant classic. There are so many inspirational and heart warming movies that could happen if sex became a high school sport after being an Olympic sport that it would be immoral NOT to let it happen! There may be people reading this right now who could be sex GODS and not know about it too!5) Guys will get a clue. For those of you who arent virgins (0.01% of the site) remember the first time you did it? God it was awkward right? You felt like a new born baby deer just stumbling around everywhere with no clue what the f*ck you were doing. .. .. Imagine if you could study how to be good at sex by literally watching the best in the world compete at it, my God youd become a God! (in the sack at least)Guys usually suck at sex, but if the Olympics were a sport, guys could watch it and get a clue and figure out how to actually have some good sex with a woman. If guys will watch Megan Fox doing anything then im sure they will watch the Sex event at the Olympics and learn a thing or two6) Nobody knows who could winI know youre thinking "Oh, size of private parts are taken into account in calculating the score, why dont you just GIVE the gold medal to Jamaica already? " But look, just because blacks have monsterously larger shlongs then white people, it doesnt mean that black nations will always win the Sex event in the Olympics (which im half tempted to call the Sexlympics at this point)Think about it, China and India have over a BILLION people, surely they know a thing or two about sex that make them good competition. The french are also known for their nudity so they could very well have a shot. Mexicans reproduce like rabbits so maybe they could put up a fight as well. If youre racist though then once you realize that all black people good at sex are usually in jail for rape, you realize that any country could win the Sex event at the Olympics! If youre that racist then you must conclude that Its a win win for all of us since we get the gold and the blacks go to jail :D7) ESPN classicsThe Miracle on Ice is one of the greatest sports stories to ever happen. A young inexperienced team goes up against a legendary team and then against all odds beats them to go on and get the Gold thanks to hard work, a great coach, and all that crap. If sex were an olympic sport though, then those same kind of Underdog stories could take place, and everyone loves a good underdog! (not to be confused with the sex move 'The Underdog', In which a man limbos under an unsuspecting woman wearing a skirt and then tunnels his way up into the bullseye like a Praire Dog)===================================================================And that is why I feel that Sex should be an Olympic Sport