It is better to light a cat on fire than a dog.

I can hear the protests of PETA activists and animal rights supporters barking in the distance. So I am afraid that we will have to put a muzzle on this debate before it gets put to sleep. Closing Summary as Con (that's me! ) saw it:1. Pro came out firing in the 2nd round, proposing that cats would be more fun to light on fire due to their consistent, small size and fluffiness. I have a bone to pick on this. How can it pawssibly be more fun to light the same sized creature on fire over and over again? As I stated, dogs offer more variety, and we all know that there is more than one way to skin a cat -- er, burn a dog. You can get dogs the same size as cats, or smaller - such as chihuahuas [17], or obviously much larger, or really any size you pawfer. And if you want to be really nip-picky, you can certainly get fluffiness with dogs as well, such as pomeranians and sheepdogs [18]. Light dogs on fire because they offer more variety.2. In the 2nd round I listed dog attack statistics, including annual injuries and fatalities to showcase how dogs are more dangerous than cats. Pro rebutted stating "While I will concede to my opponent that dogs can sometimes be dangerous". .. Let’s paws here for a moment. Pro conceded that dogs are more dangerous than cats. Pro then created a bone of contention by citing lion-related fatalities, but was forced to tuck his tail between his legs in the 4th round clarifying “I was using Lions not as an example of a cat “. Let’s not pussyfoot around this, Pro was unable to offer tangible evidence that cats are a furrocious threat to humans. Therefore I maintain that we should light dogs on fire because they are more dangerous than cats.3. Now to unravel the ball of yarn: are dogs evil? I listed both Harvey the dog from the Son of Sam murders as well as hellhounds to support my claim that dogs are evil. Pro retorts that hellhounds are ridiculous. So in the interest of both time and character space I will throw Pro a bone and scratch the hellhounds. However, I won’t call off the dogs. The fact remains, Pro never addressed the Son of Sam murders. It would appear that the cat’s got Pros tongue or purrhaps Pro simply furgot. Due to a disapurrance of rebuttal, we must maintain that Harvey was the leader of the pack who commanded David Berkowitz to go on a serial killing rampage and therefore I conclude that we should light dogs on fire beclaws dogs are in fact evil.4. Pro both opened with and included in his closing summary that dogs are useful working animals. And I agree with this statement: unlike cats, dogs are trainable animals. I proposed that dogs can therefore be weaponized and turned into living molotov cocktails, and I supported my proposal with a quick hisstory anecdote about WWII Russian tank sniffing dogs. Pro stated that the dog weaponizing program is ridiculous yet he admits an "air of plausibility hanging over it". He then suggests a copycat idea using felines instead by way of laser pointer, stating "You can lead your CAT up walls, over fences”. Up and over? You have got to be kitten me. Directing laser pointers skyward is known to distract aircraft pilots, risking unnecessary catlateral damage [19]. Even in a war scenario, you could risk the unfurtunate pawssibility of alerting enemy pilots to your location. Weaponizing cats is clearly an infurior concept. Let’s stick with the proven species here and lights dogs on fire to weaponize them.5. In the 2nd round I suggested numerous recipes for how to prepare and serve dogmeat entrees. Pro wasn’t feline it; he claimed the dogmeat would be too ruff. However, Pro did not dismiss the concept of dogmeat food entirely. In fact, Pro pawlitely suggested an alternative approach to cooking dogmeat stating “A nice, slow grill would produce much better results. ” So let’s light dogs on fire for food and grill them to purrfection - don’t forget the catsup!6. I proposed that we should fetch a blowtorch and light up the puppy monkey baby because well, look at it. Pro fanned the flames stating "this unholy creature is only 1/3 dog" and "it is more not a dog than it is a dog". Therefore Pro purrty much admits that the puppy monkey baby is part dog. I'll take it. Light dogs on fire because Puppy monkey baby.7. I opened my 3rd argument detailing the entertainment tailent of cats, including the pie chart which shows total internet activity includes 15% cats and 4% mean comments. Pro did not understand what was so doggone cute about internet cats that would absolve them from being set ablaze. I believe the answer to this is quite simple and explainable through statistical analysis and mathematics, but I will spare you the dog and pony show, the short answer is: No cats = more mean comments. No one likes mean comments. Therefore, do NOT lights cats on fire because cats are entertaining.8. In the 3rd argument I pointed out how cats prevent the spread of disease by killing off hosts such as rats and mice, citing how Europeans killed off their cats with a pack mentality. Pro rebutted that the Bubonic Plague also hit China despite the Chinese owning cats. While that is a furry good arguing angle, it must be noted that there have actually been multiple outbreaks of the Bubonic Plague throughout history. And while it may be true that the 'Black Death' of 1347-1352 was so cat-astrophic that even felines couldn't fully prevent it, how else would one explain how the Plague was continually releashed upon Europe from the 13th through the 17th century? [20]As one article explains "people finally noticed that these cat owners often seemed to be immune to the black plague" [21], and when people began giving cats a round of appaws, the plague outbreaks finally ceased. It is with this that I must conclude do NOT light cats on fire because they prevent the spread of deadly disease.9. In my final arguing point I noted how cats are more sanitary than dogs. However, Pro failed to address the flaming doggie bag that mysteriously appeared on his doorstep last Tuesday. Nor did he mention any attempt to interview a booze hound of his own in order to rebuttal my source, [16] Terry the Bum. Instead Pro welcomed all the dog poop he could get his paws on, claiming it to be some kind of prepawsterous baby training method, which grosses meowt. Therefore I must maintain do NOT light cats on fire because they are more sanitary than dogs. Vote for Con, I double dog dare ya. Sources:[17] . http://dogtime.com...[18] . http://www.notinthedoghouse.com...[19] . http://www.laserpointersafety.com...[20] . http://jmvh.org...[21] . http://hubpages.com...