This House Believes that God Does Not Exist! (Troll Debate)

I thank my misguided friend, and am praying for his soul to not rot forever in Hell. Five centuries should be sufficient for his blasphemous last round. On to debunking his foolish arguments and establishing the obvious truths for why God exists. Argument from Produce:Wanna know what the Bible and a banana have in common? They both prove that God exists!(1)http://www.youtube.com...Go watch that beautiful, moustached man blow your mother flipping minds. Argument from Literature: P1 - If the Bible is true, then God most certainly exists. P2 - God wrote the Bible P3 - God is incapable of being wrong C1 - The bible is true C2 - God exists Defending P1: This is self-evident. The bible claims god is real, so if it's right then god must be real. Defending P2: Duh, self-evident again. Defending P3: It's clearly written in the bible that God is perfect and capable of doing no wrong. Therefore, the conclusions logically follow from the premises. And using logic is important because without it hurkaderkaderkderk becomes a five page dissertation on how Hitler never existed, as was proven here(2). Refuting Opponent's Arguments: Let's start with my opponents first argument where he spends five thousand years bashing on Bieber. 1. Don't trust his argument here because Crypto's really just jealous of how successful Bieber became with his beautiful singing voice and smooth dance moves. Now there are no m'ladies for Crypto to tip his Fedora to and woo into blissful matrimony, therefore he is taking his anger and frustration out on God, for some reason or another. #niceguysfinishlast 2. My opponent is blatantly wrong. In fact, this argument can be turned in my favor because Justin Bieber's continued existence is a testament to God's a) everlasting grace and b) his ability to physically stop people from doing things, meaning he can do anything. Proving a: The fact that Justin Bieber is still alive is a testament to God's forgiveness and everlasting grace. Even though JB's made a few mistakes in his lifetime, God has withheld his wrath to allow JB to repent from his wicked ways and accept Jesus Christ into his heart. If god were not merciful, JB would've most certainly smited down after releasing "Baby". Thus, since Justin Bieber is still alive, God most certainly exists. Proving b: http://youtube.com... There are literally hundreds of ways plotted to kill this poor kid(3). The fact that he isn't dead yet is either a) gross incompetence (caused by god) or b) amazing security work (blessed by god). Either way, it's divine intervention. Now, move on to where Crypto spends thirty minutes giving Dawkins a bro-job. This argument is dumb. God made science. So the mere fact he's trying to use science against me is a) proof of God's work and b) proof that my opponent is a dumb-dumb. And lastly, go to the final argument where Crypto tries to be poindexter. 1. Logic sucks. Logic tells us to do things we really don't want to do sometimes. Logic tells us that eating healthy is good for us, and that we shouldn't have things like ice cream (who doesn't want ice cream!?!?!?!?!?!). Who cares about logic? 2. But even if we like using logic (for some dumb reason), my arguments use logic. So suck it, dumb-dumb. Sources: 1. First video 2. http://www.debate.org... 3. Second video link