Jen (the girl out of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon) would beat Jesus in a fight

In his response, my opponent hypothesised that "Jesus creates massive land- breathing sharks to eat Jen up and as she attempts to evade the sharks, Jesus turns her into a large piece of bread and subsequently feeds her to the sharks. " Okay, I've got no problem with Jesus creating the sharks, or with Jen being eaten by one of them – he was good at doing magic tricks with fish, but that Jen could be bread when fed to the sharks just isn't plausible. Firstly, the textbooks tell us sharks "can detect one drop of blood in 25 gallons of water and can smell blood a ï¿½ mile away". . http://www.enchantedlearning.com... They don't say sharks ‘can detect a crumb of bread in 25 gallons of water and can smell a toasted bagel a ï¿½ mile away' do they? And, in the film Jaws, the shark was after the fishermen's blood, not the fishermen's sandwiches, wasn't it? Furthermore, people who get eaten by sharks do not, generally speaking, deserve their fates for making the elementary mistake of going swimming with burger buns stuffed inside their swimwear, right? Secondly, Jesus doesn't even have the power to turn Jen into a loaf of bread. Please consider the comprehensive list of remarkable feats performed by Jesus reproduced hereunder. 1 Changing water into wine 2 Healing of the royal official's son 3 Healing of a man possessed by a demon in Capernaum 4 Healing of Simon Peter's mother-in-law 5 Healing the sick during the evening 6 Catching a large number of fish 7 Healing a leper 8 Healing a centurion's servant 9 Healing a paralyzed man 10 Healing a withered hand 11 Raising a widow's son 12 Calming the stormy sea 13 Healing the Gerasene demon-possessed man 14 Healing a woman with internal bleeding 15 Raising Jairus' daughter 16 Healing two blind men 17 Healing a mute man possessed by a demon 18 Healing a man who was crippled for 38 years 19 Feeding 5000 men and their families 20 Walking on water 21 Healing of many in Gennesaret 22 Healing a demon-possessed girl 23 Healing a deaf man with a speech impediment 24 Feeding the 4000 men and their families 25 Healing a blind man in Bethsaida 26 Healing a man born blind 27 Healing a boy possessed by a demon 28 Catching a fish with a coin in its mouth 29 Healing a blind and mute man who was possessed by a demon 30 Healing a woman with an 18 year infirmity 31 Healing a man with dropsy 32 Healing 10 men suffering from leprosy 33 Bringing Lazarus back to life 34 Healing Bartimaeus of blindness 35 The withering fig tree that produced no fruit 36 Restoring a severed ear 37 Catching of the 153 fish . http://www.aboutbibleprophecy.com... You can clearly see, apart from healing people, catching fish and generally messing about with water, the only other remarkable feat Jesus performed was to curse a fig tree to death. At no point did Jesus turn any fornicators, homosexuals, blasphemers, oxen-coveters or aggressive Chinese girls into loaves of bread, or any other type of bakery product for that matter. So, while one of Jesus' land-sharks might eat Jen, she would still be human when they did. Now, as Jesus' fellow Bible celebrity, Jonah, would confirm, people who get eaten by big fish as a punishment get spat out when God decides they have learned their lesson. That would give Jen the opportunity to track Jesus down and when she finds him, she'll kick his holier-than-thou arse into the back end of next week - no matter how many disciples he has to protect him: the embedded YouTube clip proves that the water-walking, fish-catching, sick-healing prophet and his ecclesiastical henchmen would never be a match for Jen's invincible fighting capabilities. The result? Jen wins and Jesus has to be teleported back up to Heaven. We can only guess at how the conversation with his exasperated father would go but I can imagine a chastened Jesus explaining the matter along these lines: "Yes Father, I know I'm back before I have completed my task of enlightening the whole of humanity but there was this young girl and…yes, I know, but she was a real tough cookie, and anyway, I accidentally insulted her dad and we had this fight and, well, anyway, I've had to come back to Heaven early…sorry about that, but as I said the last time, it won't happen again. " Please vote Pro. Thank you. . http://www.youtube.com...