It's time to use DNA taken from the Turin Shroud to clone Jesus Christ

I would like to thank Marauder for accepting this debate and to respond to his arguments as follows: 1) The Shroud of Torin [sic] does not have Jesus's [sic] DNA A recent study has determined that the Shroud of Turin is between 1,300 and 3,000 years old and dismisses the 1988 carbon-14 dating tests which concluded that the linen sheet was a medieval fake (1). Of course, that doesn't conclusively prove that the DNA is that of Jesus Christ, only cloning him from that DNA will prove that. 2) Cloning would not accomplish your objective It is possible that we might just get a biological replica of Christ with his intellect and personality reproduced faithfully but without the ability to perform amazing tricks, we won't know until we have cloned him and put him through a series of tests: Shamefully, there are around 5,000 people sleeping rough of the streets of London and the evil Tory politicians in Westminster want to ban charities from giving them food (2). I'm sure Jesus would want to take a stance against this callous proposal so we should gather all the homeless people together in Hyde Park, provide him with five small barley loaves and two small fish. If Jesus is the Messiah he would say: "Have the people sit down" then take the loaves, give thanks, and distribute it to those who are seated as much as they want. He would then do the same with the fish. And when they had all had enough to eat, he would say: "Gather the pieces that are left over. Let nothing be wasted." And then we would gather them and fill twelve baskets with the pieces of the five barley loaves left over by those who had eaten. If, however, Jesus is unable to feed the famished multitude and they turn on him and we have to rescue him from being lynched, we will suspect he may not really be a reconstituted prophet. The seas around the UK are often rough and treacherous and seafarers often find themselves in peril off Britain's coast. Fortunately, the Royal Air Force has always on standby to rescue sailors in trouble. Unfortunately, though, the wicked Tory-led government has decided to privatize this vital service and, as a result, the number of bases will be reduced from 17 to 10 thus putting many lives at risk (3). I'm sure Jesus would be appalled by this policy and would help anyone drowning because no helicopters were available locally to rescue them, so we should stand him on a beach on a stormy night while we take a boat three or four miles out to sea where we would throw a man who couldn"t swim overboard. If Jesus is the Messiah he would walk across the water to the drowning man and say: "Be of good cheer; it is I; be not afraid." But, of course, the man would be afraid; and beginning to sink, he would cry; "Lord, save me." And immediately Jesus would stretch forth his hand, and catch him, and say unto him: "O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?" If, however If, Jesus is unable to rescue the drowning man and just stands on the beach watching helplessly, we will suspect he may not really be a recreated deity. Britain's health service has always been free at the point of use but the heartless Tories think that health care should be available according to ability to pay rather than need and are closing public hospitals on a wholesale basis to boost demand for private health care providers (4). I'm sure Jesus would be appalled to see poor people who are unable to pay for private treatment suffer as a result of the Tory cutbacks and would step into help, so we should present him with a beggar who had been blinded by a passing investment banker who had kicked his head in for the audacity of asking him for some change. On seeing the beggar, if Jesus is the Messiah, he would spit on the ground, make some mud with the saliva, and put it on the man's eyes. Then he would say: "Go, wash in the bathroom then go home seeing". His neighbours and those who had formerly seen him begging would ask: "Isn't this the same man who used to sit and beg, is he not blind?" Then, to discover the truth they would hurl a rock at his head and if the beggar ducks then we will know Jesus is the real deal, but if the rock hits the beggar's head knocks him unconscious then we would have to accept that Jesus probably isn't a divine messenger after all. Whatever the results of the above tests, they have got to be worth trying, haven't they? In summary, my opponent describes Jesus as a "king". So he may be but Kings must be able to command respect from their subjects. Almost all European countries were once ruled by hereditary monarchs but, over the years, numerous kings and queens have lost the respect of the people and been deposed in revolutions and, similarly, Jesus' reign on Earth is in serious jeopardy. You see, when Jesus was last on Earth slam hadn't even been invented but, worldwide, there are now almost as many Muslims as Christians and, furthermore, Islam is growing much faster than Christianity (5). With access to the Internet these days people in search of spiritual enlightenment realise they have a large number of gods to choose from and Jesus" failure to come back to Earth to earn the respect of humanity is costing Christianity widespread popular support and this may eventually lead to his downfall. Thank you. (1) http://news.bbc.co.uk... (2) http://www.guardian.co.uk... (3) http://www.theweek.co.uk... (4) http://www.telegraph.co.uk... (5) http://www.religionfacts.com...