The Easter Bunny Has Rights Too

My opponent greatly misunderstands Easter Alphonzo CLVXXIVX. But I, Aphonzo's closest friend that is what he calls a 'norm' (I thought it synonymous with human until I learned that Santa is not a norm) have been disclosed with his full side of the story. My opponent received his side of the story an unnamed perpetrator of decapitating the chocolate bunny Alphonzo left him. He then speculates what the Big Rabbit would think about that, but I do not speculate I know first hand. He in fact does support this decapitation and eating of his chocolate emblem because it is Alphonzo's desire to be children's new icon of healing. He has become a huge fan of J K Rowling's Harry Potter series, he is such a nerd over those books its not even funny. But he is not alone and knows many kids are now reading these books and learning to associate chocolate with a fix all remedy like pepto bismal is for some family's. http://harrypotter.wikia.com... as you can see in this link mentally those becoming absorbed into series will start to believe chocolate heals, and the fact is that Alphonzo is one of those very absorbed in these books. As far as an unhealthy effect of chocolate to worry about the bunny endorsing you will note that he never leaves enough to encourage obesity. in fact he has offered the solution for obesity cause by chocolate lovers! once we all catch on that he he is real his plan is that we give all our chocolate to him (he already owns nesquick secretly and you will find his image on there products) and that way we do not quite chocolate cold turkey but rather have in the moderation he gives us each year. In fact in moderation all you have left is the positive health benefits of chocolate http://www.prohealth.com... and this is Alphonzo's gift to us! we should how grateful we are by eating what he gives us. Now that I cleared that misconception up about my good friends intentions with chocolate consumption (because he is not anti-chocolate) I do admit this does not address the resolution, that my friend has rights. But you see he does not for a number of reasons. 1) when Easter Alphonzo CLXXIVX accepted the responsibility of being the Easter Bunny from Easter Alphonzo CLXXIVXI (his name was Peter then, but when anointed to office he has to choose a new name, for some reason they all choose Alphonzo. the hole ceremony and election process is eerily similar to how the a new pope is chosen) he gave up his rights. he is now a servant of the cause the holy order of the Easter Rabbit. 2) when my opponent mentioned he lives in New Zealend Thirty-Fourth Street, that is his true mailing address, but he is not a citizen of New Zealend. you will never be able to find records of his citizenship (he has this in common Obama). This is because he does not live in this realm exactly. the 'Bunny trail' he hops down on Easter day connects where he lives with all the 'non-norms' to our world in New Zealend, and that is why its his mailing address. this trail of course intersects with the famous rabbit hole that lead to wonderland first witch is why all who have attempted to chase him to coerce more chocolate out of him end up in Wonderland instead. Because it leads to New Zealend Santa and the Easter Bunny have chosen this as there favorite haunt to hang out in this world because of convenience. Point is because of inability to produce league citizenship in any recognized nation hear on Earth he can never be said to have league rights. And even if he did produce them from his own world this would not solve the problem as the current tensions between New Zealend, and virtually everyother country on Earth and the Easter Bunny world, our worlds nations will never recognize it as a real nation because they refuse to share with us technology and instead give no-comment answers or treat us like were stupid and call it 'magic'. This aggressive diplomatic tactic is the only thing we can hold over there nation if we want them to fold and let us in on there 'magic' tech that we have learned how to understand with our own advances in science yet. We should never give in on this until they fold. We figure that's the day we actually capture Alphonzo, deny him remanda rights until Alphonzo's government gives us there advance scientific secrets. the truth of the matter is we are at war with the non-norms, and they choose to taunt us by sneaking in once a year and 'leave presents under the Christmas tree' or even the most despicable where Cupid shoots arrows at individuals causing said individual to act very stupid. all 'non-norms' as they call themselves, shall not have any of there 'rights' respected by us until they start respecting us by giving us the secrets to there 'magic'. So in conclusion: 1) if the Easter Bunny did have rights there not being infringed upon yet so there is no motivation for legal action to officially recognize his rights. 2) No Easter Bunny has rights because upon taking office they willingly give them up. 3) He is not a citizen of any country on Earth and legally no nation can afford to recognize his nation at this time. they will give in any day now! Though he is my friend I cannot support giving him legal rights. Even if I wanted too I would get blacklisted for helping a 'non-norm'; witch buy the way Pro, you should really look into changing your name and moving to another state, lose all cell phones for a while and credit or debit cards. Just drop off the grid for a while and you should be okay.