A gigantic, transparent bubble should be placed over the entirety of Canada

As we all know, Canada is that country north of the border. While most Americans have a mostly harmless, cartoonish image of Canada, filled with mounties and beer, the true image of Canada is much scarier and the facts clearly demonstrate that the world must protect itself from Canada. To start with, although Canada is slightly bigger than the US in size,[1] it contains only 35.5 million people[2] as compared to the 315 million people in the US. [2] Despite having essentially a tenth of the population of the United States, Canada has shown a propensity for unleashing terrible things into the world. For example, let's look at musicians; Canada has unleashed far more terrible singers per capita than any other country on Earth. Terrible singers like Avril Lavigne, Shania Twain, Celine Dion, Alanis Morrisette, Nelly Furtado, and Daniel Powter have come from Canada, in addition to a number off terrible bands like Nickelback, two of the most terrible singers in recent memory: Carly Rae Jepsen and Justin Bieber. For those two acts alone, Canada should be punished by the international community. Millions of people lose hearing every year because of these two singers, and yet Canada goes along and invites them BOTH to arguably the most important Canadian sporting event in history - the 100th Grey Cup. [4] While these singers go out and ruin the world, Canada sits there and does nothing. In fact, when two of Canada's worst singers (Avril Lavigne and Nickelback frontman Chad Kroeger) decided to marry,[5] they refused to immediately neuter them. Because Lavigne and Kroeger are almost certainly having sex, this will inevitably result in the birth of a baby that will almost certainly be the Antichrist (assuming Jay Z and Beyonce's baby isn't). That is unacceptable by any standard. Second, Canadians are attempting to spread their fake bacon throughout the world. Everyone knows that Canadian bacon is just ordinary ham, but yet Canada insists on calling it bacon and marketing it as such. Why a country would want to trick people into buying fake bacon, and depriving themselves of real bacon, is beyond me, but it is clear - all those opposed to bacon are a threat to society. Finally, we have the issue of Canadian football. While by all accounts Canadian football is more acceptable than, say, rugby, it is still a bizarre sport. Instead of using four downs, like civilized people do, Canada insists on using only three downs. Three! We abolished that rule over 100 years ago, but yet Canada insists on living in the stone age. Similarly, Canadian football's field is absurdly wide and absurdly long, its end zones are absurdly big, and they have 12 players on each team. These blasphemies against real football cannot be ignored. The solution to all of these issues is the Canadian bubble, which will separate the entirety of Canada from the rest of the world. The bubble will identify which things are acceptable to pass (such as maple syrup, rain/snow, Rush, and those who wish to join America) through, and will prevent things that are unacceptable (such as Justin Bieber, Carly Rae Jepsen, Nickelback, Avril Lavigne, fake bacon, and Canadian football) from passing through it. This solves all issues - the world will be spared from the terrible part of Canada, but Canada can still be itself inside its owns borders and can remain a productive member of the international community. The Canadian bubble will prove to be the most effective, fair, and merciful solution to the Canadian problem. References: 1. . http://en.wikipedia.org... 2. . http://en.wikipedia.org... 3. . http://en.wikipedia.org... 4. . http://en.wikipedia.org... 5. . http://en.wikipedia.org...