Imabench Hates Me More Than I Hate Him

Rebutting My Opponent's Arguments Very Easily HatedThis argument from my opponent fails. My opponent is saying that people generally do not like him because of his trollish antics, therefore, there is a good chance that I fall into this category. However, I started this debate (which is a troll debate). Why would I start a troll debate if I did not like trollish antics? My introduction to the debate provided in the last round even gave praise to imabench for his impressive troll techniques. Therefore, if there are people that do not like imabench because of his trollish antics; you can take it to the bank that I am not amongst those numbers. Debate HistoryThis argument refutes his last argument! If I should beat imabench in debates but people still vote for him, then this is evidence that he is more likable than me[http://www.debate.org...][http://www.debate.org...]. This section seems self-refuting pertaining to his overall case. Therefore, I shall reverse his first argument around in a little argument in my favor. The debates posted in this section show that I am not very likable. This is evident by the fact that people vote against me in debates I should win in an unfair and cruel fashion. Therefore, it is plausible that imabench is amongst the numbers of people who hate me based on the logic used in his first argument.Imabench, Masturbation, and MyselfThis is imabench's strongest argument, and he supports it with an irrefutable case that I am a gorgeous and seductive man. Because this fact is self-evident, I do not feel it would be reasonable for any rational agent to contest it. They would be simply delving into radical epistemological skepticism, thus I concede the point. However, looks only go so far. Just because I am a stunning male specimen does not entail that I am likable. There are additional premises that need to be inserted before this argument can really get off the ground. SimilaritiesThis argument does nothing to help Con's case. If he can claim he likes me more than him due to similarities we share, then I can say the same thing in return. Thus, our claims would essentially cancel each other out. That makes this section from Con rather trivial. Arguments In Favor Of The ResolutionI Had Sex With Imabench's MotherI was out at the club one night completely wasted. I saw a busty, older lady approach me and she offered sexual favors back at her residence for some lines of cocaine. When we went back to her house, she used to much teeth while I was receiving fellatio. I had to give her a rather strong backhand, then proceeded to, as the kids say, "beat it raw". I Urinated in Imabench's Chocolate Milk After I had sex with the older woman, I went downstairs to urinate in the chocolate milk due to the previous use of her teeth. I Farted In His Fruit BasketI passed gas in the fruit basket.As I returned upstairs I saw a door open with a Debate.org website up on a computer monitor that had "imabench" as the user name. It seems as if I had engaged with intercourse with his mother, urinated in his chocolate milk, and farted in his fruit basket. I laughed as I found the situation funny, but I do not care enough about imabench to hate him any. After the horrible things I did to him and his mother, he has to hate me. If not, then we know he is lying because anyone would hate me.Conclusion I affirmed the resolution beyond a reasonable doubt. It is not reasonable to think imabench could not hate me after the case I presented. Con failed to meet his burden of proof, and did not show that I hated him more than he hated me.