Jonathan Swift was Right: Eating Babies is the Answer to Overpopulation

An overview of Johnathan Swift's "A modest Proposal" For those that do not know, Johnathan Swift's "A Modest Proposal" was a satirical essay dealing with the potato famine, over-population, and the thoughtlessness of the upper class. He proposes that the upper class begin eating poor Irish babies. It would save them from a hard life of the potato famine, decrease beggar population, provide a new exquisite dish to the privileged table, and keep the U.K.'s image up without the unsettling sight of beggars. For further reading, here is a link: http://art-bin.com... Why this wouldn't work in today's society http://www.policyalmanac.org... According to the site mentioned above, the amount of abortions for the poor has increased exponentially in recent years, especially among the lower socioeconomical classes. So, they are really eating the babies themselves! Moreover, the poor now have government provided houses, cell phones, and transportation, so they are no longer an eyesore for the newly emerged Middle Class and Upper Class. Also, it doesn't matter if we started eating the babies of the poor because in places like China, the poor are reproducing so fast that it would no longer be an exquisite cuisine, but a dish as common as the bread at Olive Garden or the chips and salsa so associated with Mexican Restaurants! It would ruin the Upper Class's appetite and it would sicken the Middle Class Conservatives that they are partaking of an unproductive member of society! They might even refuse to partake of it because they fear the spread of Liberal Laziness! For these many reasons, Jonathan Swift's proposal is no longer valid. But hope is not lost! In high school, I wrote a satirical essay specifically for Memphis, TN and its over-population of the poor, coincidentally African-American population. In it I stated the following measures should be taken to help Memphis regain its former Rock & Roll glory: Evacuate everyone with no criminal record AND whose parents made a collective 60000 dollars a year with less than 100,000 dollars of debt all throughout their lives and are currently making at least 45,000 dollars a year would be evacuated from the City of Memphis and the Tennessee National Guard would lock down the city. After this was completed, weapons and ammunition would be dropped into the city along with random food drops dropped into organized crime areas. We would then watch as the bane of Memphis's existence killed each other off and became our entertainment for live TV every day, just like the Hunger Games! If they attempted to break through the national Guard, we would kill them ourselves. I suggested that we even collapse buildings onto the poor so that it would kill the trouble makers and force Memphis's hand in renovations. The pros of this proposition are that it would get rid of the poor problem in Memphis, provide an example to terrible cities like Chicago and San Francisco (where the gays are causing quite the stir), and the end result would be a happier, more modern city with lower crime. If the poor were to somehow regain population in Memphis, I would suggest a routine quarantine and destruction of the city would become necessary every 50 years. This would continue to provide more examples and excellent entertainment to the other classes, who love to watch them suffer anyways! The cons of this are developing better criteria to who stays and who goes, the cost of this entertainment would be high and execution would be much more efficient and cheaper. As well as the fact that renovations would cost quite a bit of money. My response to these pathetic attacks are that for it to be plausible, it has to be worthy of the other class' time and it would have to have a beneficial look after the destruction. The costs could be covered by donations from the wealthy and the live observation channels' subscriptions from the middle class, required by the government if needed. How does this help to decrease world population? Well, obviously one city isn't going to do the job, but an entire country of considerable size such as China would not only aid in decreasing the world's population, it would be very easy to remove the upper class and relatively small middle class of China. According to this source (http://www.creditwritedowns.com...), 60 percent of the rich Chinese already want to leave the country! So in this case, it would be much easier to isolate the poor! We could then gather the world's armies (including China's, whose armies are not unfamiliar gunning down civilians) and lock down the east Coast of China and begin the world wide hunger games! Conclusion Johnathan Swift's Modest proposal will not work considering the rate at which the poor reproduce and the invisbility of most of the poor. My proposal will work because it annihilates the poor once and for all and even has a plan in case they return!