Resolved: Dating more people makes for a better marriage

(1) We understand ourselves better: My opponent would have you believe that you could learn just as much about yourself in a singular relationship or no relationship at all as you would from a plethora of relationships. This simply isn't true if the context of learning about yourself is the interest of how to keep your identity in a marriage. No matter how many experiences you have while single, none of them compare to experiences while in a relationship. In learning who you are yourself, you need the challenge of getting mixed with a partner to truly understand what that means. In a relationship, both people will be constantly trying to change each other, you have to be able to learn how to mold yourself and maintain yourself at the same time. (2) Make us more likely to win over that perfect mate: "It is based on the idea that people fall in love with each other as the result of well-planned posturing." - you're not a guy, so this might be tough.. but yea.. if you want to catch the biggest fish in your pond, you have to be as attractive as possible. "Yes, it is possible to TRICK someone into liking you by pretending to be something you're not." - This isn't what I'm arguing for at all... winning a girl's heart and tricking her are two separate things... if you don't believe me... watch the Will Smith movie "Hitch"... it doesn't mean you're lying to her, its just having the tools to make yourself shine... these are not tools that everyone has, and the way to get them is to practice. (3) Less likely to end up single: This point, I was mainly arguing that you can't have a good marriage if you don't get married, so how good of a marriage isn't relevant for this topic... I'm just saying that dating more people makes you more likely to get married, which is one of the pre-requisites for this debate (4) Feel more complete: "even absent marriage, these things may be accomplished with a mate or a friend or even by one's self." - I was arguing solely for the ones that aren't possible (or aren't as enjoyable) without a partner. Like kissing under the Eiffel Tower or "pink blazing" (back packing with a girl/friend) I'll use the Pink Blazing one because it is something true for me... that's something that I certainly want to do... but I don't know if the person I'm going to marry will want to do that... if I don't do it before I get married, I may never get the chance.. because it isn't a criteria for who I marry, but it is something I want to do Secondly, in regards to the promiscuity and "dating someone of another race", I was saying just that.. I wasn't saying sleeping with one, I was saying DATE. Meaning, have a relationship... because there is most likely a lot to learn from other cultures, and there are people that might be interested in that, not just a sexual thing, but a culture thing.. that can't fully be appreciated without dating a member of another race (5) Can help our children better: "Much dating advice is generalized and applies to nearly all relationships" - This just isn't true... good dating advice comes from people who have been there and done that.... the more capable you are of empathy, the better and the more experiences you have, the more accurate your empathy will be. Your argument of the generational gap is a good point, but I think that argument can be extrapolated to all parental advice. Certainly can extrapolate it to things like drugs... can you really advise your children on drugs and alcohol if you always abstained? Or have otherwise limited experience? The answer is NO. Even with the generational gap, more experience will yield better advice "Perhaps some people date more because they LACK the skills required to carry on longer, more meaningful relationships" - At this point, we're assuming you're having kids with your partner... you clearly don't lack the skills to carry on a longer, more meaningful relationship if you've reached that point To your R2 point: 3. Preparation for marriage: "no one wants to be compared to a boy- or girlfriend that came before them." - And yet that's going to happen, you really can't escape it "Things that bother you will still bother you regardless of how many exes did or did not do them." - I think this is plain wrong, if you date 100 people and they all do the same thing that bothers you, either (1) you're not getting married or (2) you gotta learn to not let it bother you. If you only date one or two others, you might not think it's normal, and that you can change it... and then it bothers you "it is not like a job interview where you try out several candidates and then call back the best one(s) for round 2 or to offer them a position" - I beg to differ.. the dating game can be very much this... you find out some of them took positions elsewhere, some are now overqualified, some have somehow lost qualifications.. and yet.. maybe there is one of them that, although didn't fit the bill before, the position has changed, or the applicant has and it's a perfect fit now... "Dating more people only increases the chances that expectations will be skewed" - I think before we have experience, our expectations are skewed from our interpretation of our parents experience... it's only after we get experience from the world ourselves that our expectations become normalized. 5. Baggage: From my own experience, the only baggage I know of is from those relationships that lasted too short or too long... I don't understand how a relationship that only lasts until it isn't good anymore can give you baggage? Which is even more drastic because of the old saying "Women remember the man they could have had, men remember the one they couldn't." Baggage comes from regrets... you don't regret something that you look back fondly on. I think if your goal is to date more people, you won't look back negatively on as many things, and won't regret them as much.. and if you don't regret them... they aren't baggage For women, if you get out of a relationship that might be going bad, you'll always remember that you could have had him, but didn't want him.. and think positively. For men if you go for every relationship that might work out, but get shot down, you'll think positive because you took a shot, it's resolved. But you have to give up as soon as you know you won't get her. For women, even if it would have worked out, it won't matter because you'll never know... you'll just think positively about it. If you get shot down, it won't matter, because women don't remember the guys they couldn't have, only the ones they could have For men, if you go for it, and it doesn't work out, you won't think back negatively... because you won't care.. you could have had her... and that's all that matters, because men don't remember the girls they could have had.. only the ones they couldn't What I'm saying is... women get baggage from the regrets of staying with guy they should have walked away from.. men get baggage from the regrets of not going for the girl they think they could have got, protect yourself from that (which both go towards the goal of dating many people) and you won't have baggage I want to thank my opponent for a great debate thus far... hopefully we can come to a good understanding