Presidential Debate: Optimus Prime vs Dumbledore

NOW YOU LOOK HERE OPTIMUS, YOU GIANT OVERSIZED VAGINAL VIBRATOR, I-"Mr Dumbedore, As the moderator I have to move on because we are already low on time we have to proceed on to the foreign policy que-"I dont care, I need to say two more things before I answer any new questions. Number 1, me joining NAMBRA does not mean I am racist towards Asians. I love asians, and have made love to several of them against their will in my life, so I am not racist. I f*ck both white boys and asian boys equally. Number 2, Barack Obama did have to remove the crap bag off the retarded Chinsese girl to have sex with her, but he thought it was a bag of Indian food! Everyone knows that a bag full of sh*t has the same smell and taste as a bag of indian food, so really it wasnt Obama's fault that he didnt think something was amiss. Ok mr moderater you can ask your questions. ==========================================================================Conservativepolitico asks "I believe that the government should stay out of the Middle East and all Middle Eastern affairs, but in the past the US has always had a history of trying to intervene in the Middle East when they never should have been. What is your policy regarding intervention in the Middle East?A stereotypical chinese Viper-King asks "China is a proven currency manipurator and a country that doesnt rike free speech and other inarienabre rights. I personarry think China should be nuked into obrivion, but what is your stance on China's viorations of human rights?"And lastly, 16kadams asks "I immigrated to this country from Mexico and lived as an illegal immigrant for many years in New Mexico until I finally gained citizenship. Ok im still illegal but my question is, how will you address the illegal immigration problem this country faces?"==========================================================================Well CP, I love democracy. I love little boys more but I still love democracy, and I would do my best to try to encourage the spread of Democracy throughout Middle Eastern countries by using the US's economic influence to encourage regimes to make reforms in these countries and put them on the path towards modernization. I would never use military force to overrun and annex the entire Middle East which is what Optimus Prime has proposed since he began campaigning. The US should be as non-interventionist as possible military wise, yet still try to work with Middle Eastern governments to grant more human rights. After that we can then work on converting all of them to Christianity so that they stop flying hijacked planes into all of our sh*t and causing us to pass laws like the Patriot act, the NDAA, and also the Alex Jones Act, a law authored by Optimus Prime that grants the government all powers that Alex Jones claimed they had. Yeah Alex Jones really f*cked us all over on that one, stupid a** conspiracy theorist..... So my foreign policy position on Middle Eastern intervention is centered strictly around the spread of democracy and human rights peacefully through economic treaties with Middle Eastern countries, NOT annex the entire Middle East and rename it "Towelheadistan" like Optimus Prime wants to. Once that is accomplished then we could maybe look into long term goals like eventually converting the region to Christianity so that they will stop flying planes into our sh*t.... Now as for Viper-Kings question. I am rather lenient towards China even though they are currency manipulaters and currently occupy California, Hawaii, Washington and Oregon. The sooner we can have peace with China, the sooner we can become valuable trade allies with them again and take steps to fixing our economy that they technically messed up in the first place... I am lenient towards China, but between me and Optimus Prime, im actually tougher on China then he is since Optimus Prime is a slave to China. Optimus has made it center to his platform to sell the US to China because hes actually Chinese. You can tell because he still has the 'Made in China' sticker stuck on his fat a**.... Lastly there is 16kadams's question about illegal immigration. This nation is a nation of immigrants. It is a nation of people from other countries, and also of cybernetic organisms that hail from the planet Cybertron, but mostly the first one.... I feel that we should be opening our borders more and offering easier paths to citizenship for those living here illegally. Like Optimus here. Optimus Prime has been an illegal immigrant when he first came here as a toy truck. His own baby photos show he has always been in the US but never bothered to become an American Citizen. .......... How can someone so un-american try to sell you the ida that hes actually patriotic when hes against all forms of immigration, legal and illegal, and himself is too unpatriotic to even become legal himself? Now of course I myself am not a citizen, I cant come because of my criminal past. But I am here on a workers visa which goes to show that I, like so many people before me, have seen America as the place of opportunity and freedom to do what you want without archaic government laws holding you back. Now Optimus may point out that my workers visa says that im here in the country for "human services" and try to alledge that by 'human services' it means im here on a Workers Visa to f*ck little boys........... And hed be right...... I am currently on a Workers Visa here to f*ck little boys, but I see nothing wrong with this since these days the role of the entire government is to f*ck everyone up the a** anyways.....Infact, ss an expert f*cker up the a**, I am the perfect man to elect to make Washington productive again, since I specialize in the one thing the government is good at...... F*cking you up the a**. I know how government works, I specialize in key fields of work so I will be able to make DC move forward again, I have experience in the past of running large organizations almost on my own while handling all kinds of sh*t thats flung my way. Optimus couldnt even save his own home planet and had to come to ours as a war refugee..... And he smelled like one too He may think he can run this country better then me, but the truth is Optimus Ive been fixing this place long before you ever showed up with your autobots, deceptacons, and pokemon's. You wanna know why? Its because here on Earth........................