With 30 minutes of preparation, the user known as Kleptin could feasibly vanquish a grizzly bear

Much thanks to Logical_Master for that initial argument. I shall begin by pointing out some attributes of my bear opponent before I go at the individual arguments. First, I am dealing with a grizzly bear that stands at 6-8 feet tall on its hind legs in attack position, and weighs about 300-500 pounds http://en.wikipedia.org... 1. Finding a tree and waiting for the bear to attack. Yellowstone national park is made up of mostly Lodgepole Pines http://www.shannontech.com... http://home.earthlink.net... Lodgepole pines grow quite high, at least up to a height of 30 meters. The lodgepole pines that grow in Yellowstone are of the variety that are branchless from the bottom for the majority of the 30 meters: http://photography.nationalgeographic.com... http://www.wildnatureimages.com... It is then not feasible for me to climb a tree such as this because not only are there no handles or knobs to latch onto, my physical strength will fail me in climbing the tree because I am very, very weak. I can barely lift a 30 pound weight with one arm. Straight-climbing a tree such as the Lodgepole Pine is simply not possible. Even if it were, the nearest branch would be a very long climb upwards, one that I simply could not sustain because of my poor stamina. And since the Lodgepole Pine dominates large expanses of land, and other trees are located far from that location, the time it will take to find such a tree will be much more than 30 minutes. And although I can sprint (in this debate) a mile in five minutes, a bear's top speed is 35m/hour http://www.thebigzoo.com... This translates to running a mile in less than 3 minutes. If we take into account the fact that I am extremely clumsy and unfamiliar with non-sidewalk terrain, it would take even less time for the bear to catch and eat me. This negates my opponent's tree-related suggestions. 2. Using academic knowledge to defeat the bear My opponent greatly exaggerates my intellectual resources. Though I am well versed in pharmacy, I am unable to recognize herbs and flora for their pharmacological uses. This rules out the use of plant poisons. Furthermore, according to: http://www.yellowstoneparknet.com... There are no such poisonous animals that my opponent has stated. If there are, they are far too rare to be catalogued by Yellowstone national park and thus, the time it would take for me to find, kill, and extract the poison from such animals would be well over 30 minutes. As for the targeting of vital spots, I know the locations of vital organs in the human body, but am not aware of their general location in bear anatomy. 3. Playing dead It is a common myth that playing dead will fool a bear. In fact, it is the action of complete submission and outward defensive behavior that will stop a bear attack (such as curling into a ball as my opponent has cited). Since it has been stated that this bear specifically wants to kill me (it is not seeking to ensure my death but specifically to kill me) we can then say that playing dead or curling into a ball will do nothing but lead to my demise. As for the creation of a trap, the preparation of such a trap would probably take a substantial amount of time, not do to thinking, but actual construction. I am sure that my opponent remembers the situation in the first season of Code Geass where Lelouch attempts to trap an animal for food by digging a pit. Though he has spectacular reasoning abilities, his weak frame and lack of tools led to a spectacular failure. A case which will be the same for me. Subduing the bear in the manner my opponent has illustrated is also impossible. First of all, the bear's front limbs and chest are immense bulks of muscle, whereas my spindly little arms will be nothing more than annoying twigs. Second, the bear will stand to heights of 10 feet tall in offensive position (see first few cited links) making its shoulders and head far above my range. 4. The three situations my opponent has listed. http://neveryetmelted.com...... http://www.freerepublic.com...... http://query.nytimes.com...... First, my opponent has mentioned that these are all black bears and not grizzly bears. My opponent seems to be confused by his very own sources. While the first two sources depict black bears, the final source clearly states that the bear was a grizzly. However, for the first two situations: Grizzly bears are larger, heavier, stand taller, have longer and more dangerous claws, and are less herbivorous than Black bears. http://74.125.47.132/search?q=cache:Gmt6lk2IbZwJ:www.mountainnature.com/wildlife/Bears/BearID.htm+grizzly+bears+vs+black+bears&cd=2&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us In the first example, the man fighting the bear had at his disposal, a dog. The dog obviously served as a distraction, allowing him to stab the bear several times in the back. In the second, the bear was shown to be heavily malnourished, as it had little fat (bears tend to have a substantial amunt of fat) and suffering extensive damage (broken jaw, severed tongue) this gave the man a heavy advantage. In the final example, the bear took two bullets albeit to non-vital areas. This would do a substantial amount of damage. In addition, the man fighting was a General with military training, and the bear was preoccupied with attacking the Judge. TO SUM UP: None of my opponent's proposals are feasible. Each one of the possible courses of action that my opponent has listed contains one or more fatal flaws, making it impossible except by way of miracle for me to not only survive, but actually vanquish the grizzly bear. To further add to the near impossibility of mine accomplishing such a feat, must also add that I abhor cruelty to animals and that I find it very hard to perform violent actions to them. This is the result of my being raised in a sheltered household. As far back as I can remember, I have never actually participated in a fight, or actively tried to hurt someone. Faced with a situation such as this, instinct will not fuel my ability to fight, but rather, to flee. This works against the debated notion that I can vanquish a grizzly bear. As more evidence, my opponent probably took quite a long time planning out these tactics. More than 30 minutes, I would say. With access to information such as the internet and between the two of us, we still have come up with no way to survive this grizzly bear attack. Should this have actually happened, the 30 minutes of preparation time would have already been up and I would have been killed because all of the ideas my opponent has put forth so far, would have failed. I await my opponent's response and thank the audience for their time.