Indecent Exposure law should be abolished.

Let us please not compare bananas to melons here; penises are by no means the equivalent of breasts. The Female body is a lovely thing to behold, the inspiration of artists, poets, war and excellence throughout human history. The penis, on the other hand, is an atrocity. At no time is it the colleague of the breast. Long hip-slappers, or short, swollen acorns, the penis is a bouncy, rubbery miscreation.It is unwelcome everywhere; Thanksgiving dinners, volleyball games, roof-work… these are all areas of enterprise wherein the penis plays no useful role. A man cannot use it for much as he changes his tires, the janitor can find no position for it while he mops the floors. Running in the park is not different; joggers should restrain its movement The sheer ugliness of this disagreeable digit forces us to hide it away. Its aggressive overuse renders it frightful. As I stated in the acceptance round, there are few social functions that welcome unexpected guests. Among the least welcome, is the penis. To see a small sampling of how appalling this experience can be, I invite readers to view this collection of examples. http://s1153.beta.photobucket.com... You can almost hear the screams. Even the very name of the thing, “Penis,” is grotesque and repulsive. To find ways to discuss this subject – and avoid the actual use of this vile word – I was required to do a bit of research. I uncovered the following list of words that English speakers have devised over the years to avoid having to say, “penis.” I submit this list (it’s a partial list) in order to impress upon the voters how disgusting and tacky the dingle-ling is: it’s mere utterance is avoided. 1. Ankle spanker 2. baby-arm 3. Beaver basher 4. penis sangbo nam rod 5. baby-maker 6. Bell on a pole 7. beef whistle 8. boomstick 9. Burrito 10. Bishop 11. Bratwurst 12. braciole 13. Candle 14. Choad 15. Chopper 16. C0ck (we will note the zero…) 17. Cranny axe 18. Pistol Whip 19. Custard launcher 20. Dig-dagger 21. deep-V diver 22. d!ck 23.dickie 24.ding dong mcdork 25.dingus 26.disco stick 27.dog head 28.drum stick 29.dong 30.donger 31.dork 32.dude piston 33.dragon 34.eggroll 35.Easy Rider 36.Excalibur 37.fang 38.ferret 39.flesh flute 40.flesh tower 41.foto 42.fire hose 43.f**k rod 44.fudge sickle 45.fun stick 46.groin ferret 47.giggle stick 48.hairy hotdog 49.heat-seeking moisture missile 50.helmet head 51.hose 52.hog 53.jackhammer 54.Jimmy 55.John 56.Johnson 57.John Thomas (dated) 58.joystick 59.kickstand 60.king sebastian 61.knob 62.krull the warrior king 63.lap rocket 64.leaky hose 65.lingam 66.little Bob 67.little Elvis 68.lizard (as in "drain the...") 69.longfellow 70.love muscle 71.love rod 72.love stick 73.love whistle 74.luigi 75.manhood 76.man umbrella 77.meat popsicle 78.meat stick 79.meat sword 80.meat injection 81.member 82.meter long king kong dong 83.microphone 84.middle stump 85.mushroom head 86.mutton 87.netherrod 88.old boy 89.old fellow 90.old man 91.one-eyed anaconda 92.one-eyed trouser-snake (Australia, UK) 93.one-eyed monster 94.one-eyed wonder weasel 95.one-eyed yogurt slinger 96.pecker 97.Pedro 98.peepee (children's term) 99.Percy 100.peter 101.Pied Piper 102.Pig skin bus 103.pink oboe 104.pink torpedo 105.piss weasle 106.piston 107.plug 108.pnor 109.poinswatter 110.pork sword 111.prick 112.princess sophia 113.private eye 114.private part 115.purple-helmeted warrior of love 116.purple-headed yogurt flinger 117.quiver bone 118.rod 119.rod of pleasure 120.roundhead 121.sausage 122.sebastianic sword 123.schlong 124.schlong dongadoodle 125.schmuck, shmuck (Yiddish) 126.schnitzel 127.schwanz 128.schwarz 129.sea monster (as in "drain the...") 130.shaft 131.short arm 132.skin flute 133.soldier 134.spawn hammer 135.stick shift 136.sub 137.surfboard 138.Tallywhacker 139.Tan Bannana 140.tassle 141.third leg 142.thumper 143.thunderbird 3 144.thundersword 145.tinker 146.todger (Australia, UK) 147.tonk 148.tool 149.trouser snake 150.tubesteak 151.twig (& berries) 152.twinkie 153.uncle Dick 154.vein 155.wand 156.wang 157.wang doodle 158.wanger 159.wee wee 160.whoopie stick 161.wiener 162.Wiener Schnitzel 163.wick 164.willy (children's term) 165.wing dang doodle 166.winkie (children's term) 167.yingyang 168.yogurt gun [1]My argument, therefore, is thus: penises are ugly and should be removed from day to day activities. There are those who have become so enamored with their penises that they cannot wait to display them to one and all. Despite this affection, their penises are also ugly. To control the circumstances by which we may accidentally view these things, we should at once demand that laws be created that mandate the concealment of all penises under all circumstances from the public. [1] http://namingschemes.com...