It is better to just poop fast rather than wait, if you don't have a book

Kingtruffles: i hope you can deal with this stink Reply: Be careful what you wish for, because I am about to harpoon your straw man arguments. Kingtruffles: holding it in will increase your risk of kidney disease! Reply: You are thinking of urine, not poo. Kingtruffles: when i say poop it out i dont mean force it out, just gradually push with an extra tug, this relieves pressure in your stomache, and also relieves your stress. Reply: "extra tug" is a force, which can be measured by the mass times the acceleration of the poo. It does not relieve stomach pressure, but instead strains your diaphragm which increases stress. Kingtruffles: You can avoid work in many other ways too! for example, hide a laptop in your briefcase, go to the bathroom, get your poop overwith and enjoy yourself! Reply: Yet earlier you said you wouldn't do this with a book. What's the difference? If you are going to be spending that much time on the John, you might as well have an easy, long crap then trying to force one out at an arbitrary pace. Kingtruffles: Another reason is if you're on a real vacation, long poops take up your life, making it a less enjoyable life! Reply: Balderdash! Some of my favorite memories involve crapping up the bathroom at the Lincoln memorial and I have the pictures to prove it. Plus, if you are crapping in the woods, then you want to soak in nature. Kingtruffles: My opponent claims that life is too short and you should enjoy it on the toilet! In my opinion, why waste it on the toilet when you can enjoy your REAL vacation with palm trees, not stained tile and old scratchy toilet paper Reply: You have misquoted me. I said you should enjoy your time on the toilet, not enjoy your life on the toilet. The problem is that you can't seem to grasp the difference between the intrinsically good and the instrumentally good. I view a nice long time on the can as something intrinsically good--i.e. requires to further justification and is an end in and of itself. You view a quick jaunt to the John as something instrumentally good--i.e. it is only good because it will get you other things (palm trees). The problem is that when only focus on the instrumentally good, you become disconnected from the intrinsically good, and lose all sense of goodness. My view is a wholesome one connected to value, while yours is a bourgeois attempt to keep up with the Jones'. In addition. I only use tp with aloe, so it is like having your crack licked by angles. Kingtruffles: In addition, you claim that pooping it out fast leaves a mess and quite a smell, but yet you claim territory ONLY when you relax? you just disproved your own point! Reply: Yes, you seem to be right... ...If that was what I actually said! Messy-ness and smelly-ness do not go together pari passu. By forcing it out, it is not compact and thus smears. In addition, you might not fully eject odor causing gasses, unless you take the long road. How are you going to claim your territory if you hastily number 2 then flush it down the toilet? Kingtruffles: Also, speeding it up leaves a more satisfying log. To add to that point, when speeding the proccess up, you leave more poops, which end up MORE stinky. Also, by leaving more poops, you clean out your poop bladder, which as an end result means you dont have to poop again. Reply: No, by trying to speed up the natural process, you are doing a disservice to your log. By pushing and pinching prematurely, you are not getting the whole log. Parts may be left behind, which does not clean out your digestive tract (blatter is for urine), but rather produces infrequent pooing times which tend to be embarrassing. Since you already went to the bathroom, your boss is likely to think that you are lying when you say you are going to the can--why are you going again if you just went? Did you lie? or are you lying this time? You can not speed up nature. If you are too humiliated to reply, I'll understand.