It is better to light a cat on fire than a dog.

http://www.youtube.com...1.0 Light dogs on fire because they offer more variety.Dogs come in all shapes and sizes. Short, fat, tall, thin, brown fur, speckled fur, fluffy fur, no fur, ears to crop, tails to burn; and for individuals interested in larger fires, dogs truly are your only option. There have been recorded cases of dogs towering over 7 feet (2.13 meters) tall and weighing over 300 lbs (136kg), you can certainly make quite the large fire by setting a large dog ablaze -- much larger than any fire you could get from a cat. [1][2]Then we get into dog breeds. As of June 15, 2015 the American Kennel Club recognizes 187 different dog breeds [3], and that is not including mutts or so called "designer dogs" such as Labradoodles, Puggles, and Bullshits.As Malora Creager so eloquently stated:"We are moving rapidly into a post-Darwinian era, an era when species will no longer exist. Once the general public gets the hang of genetic engineering, there will be an explosion of monstrous creations." [4]When it comes to dogs, we don't need test tubes and a chemistry degree. The everyday arsonist can just as easily toss an unneutered male together with an unspayed female in heat to breed their very own monstrous creation for his or her burning pleasure.2.0 Light dogs on fire because they are dangerous.Let's get down to the facts:- The CDC claims that approximately 4.5 million dog bites occur each year in the United States [5]- 885,000 of those dog bites require medical attention [6]- 368,000 victims of dog bites arrive at emergency departments per year [6]- 27,000 people required reconstructive surgery due to dog bites in 2012 alone [6]- 30+ Americans are mauled to death by dogs every year [6]That is a significant amount of maimings and annual carnage from man's alleged best friend. Numerous insurance companies won't even insure homeowners with dogs because dog attacks are so incredibly common. When was the last time you heard of an insurance company dropping someone because of their housecat? You won't because the reality is cats don't kill people; dogs kill people.So while that cute little kitten you are slandering is off killing insects, mice and other small pests - you know, doing something useful - the dog next door is busy ripping the faces off small children, gouging their innocent eyes out with sharp canine fangs, tearing out their young intestines, digesting the bloody mush which had once been a child's smile; and that sick, twisted, vicious mutt is wagging his tail the whole time. 3.0 Light dogs on fire because they are evil.I am sure you are all familiar with David Richard Berkowitz aka American serial killer Son of Sam. But for the uninitiated, between July 1976 and July 1977 the Son of Sam went on a shooting spree in New York City. Using his .44 calibre Bulldog revolver, Berkowitz killed six people and wounded seven others in total. When the Son of Sam finally confessed to the shootings, he admitted to authorities that he had not acted alone -- he had been ordered under strict command by Harvey, his neighbor's black labrador retriever. A dog was in fact the mastermind behind the Son of Sam shootings. [7]What is worse than a dog that commands humans to kill? How about dogs commanded by demons: Hellhounds.Stories of hellhounds are known to date as far back as 8th Century BC Greek mythology [8]. They are formidable canines with supernatural abilities, including but not limited to invisibility, invulnerability, super senses and super strength. These inherently evil dogs come from the depths of hell and do the bidding of demons. All it takes is one quick sniff of a scent, and these hellish dogs will track down their victims with a tenacious obsession; they do not rest until their kill is complete [9]. It would be impossible to calculate the total number of humans killed by hellhounds throughout the ages but it is undeniable that the mortal world would be a better place if these beast dogs were all burned back to hell.4.0 Light dogs on fire to weaponize them.Unlike cats, dogs are trainable animals. They're easily taught commands, they're willing to perform tricks, and they can be given jobs. In fact, dogs have been weaponized before. In World War II, Russia trained "anti-tank" dogs [10]. These were dogs, carrying explosive devices, which were trained to look under German tanks for food. When the dog went underneath a tank, a trigger on its explosive device was detonated and KA-BLOO-EY! The sky would rain red with flesh, shrapnel and canine intestines.As previously stated, dogs can range up to incredibly large sizes. And large dogs equal large stomachs. So what I'm proposing is that we can force-feed a large trained dog a flammable liquid, an incredibly volatile substance such as gasoline. The larger the dog, the larger the stomach, the larger the explosion. It"s simple math. Then douse the whole dog in gasoline - get his fur nice and soaked. After that take a dry, slow burning towel and wrap it around the dog's tail.We can then take this well-trained, oversized, walking, breathing molotov cocktail, set the towel on fire, and send him off on his kamikaze mission. Molotov dogs could be used in guerrilla warfare, by political activists or even just for shiggles. Maybe blow up some homeless people, possibly an abortion clinic or a church - depending on your political agenda of course, or really whatever tickles your fancy.5.0 Light dogs on fire for food.You can roast a dog over a fire pit, smoke them dry for dog jerky, or even grill one up at a bar-b-que: dogmeat burgers, dogmeat sausage, hot dogs made out of real dog... Pulled dogmeat sandwiches go over great with young children as well as the elderly.And even if you opt to burn dogs for reasons other than food, you will probably still find yourself wondering what to do with all that leftover dogmeat. Well how about a nice bowl of Bosintang, also known as dogmeat soup. I have the perfect Korean recipe for you. You take roughly 100g of dogmeat, boil it, toss it in with some vegetables and gravy. Serve it with a side of Kimchi and pair it with a glass of Soju. [11] Just follow the referenced source link, you won't be disappointed. Regardless of your palate preference, you are sure to get a lot more meat off a large dog than you ever could off a cat.6.0 And if you are still not convinced then I have three words for you: Puppy monkey baby. That monstrosity right there is the reason why God created the blowtorch.Sources:[1] http://nypost.com...[2] http://www.brainyhistory.com...[3] http://www.foxnews.com...[4] http://lyrics.wikia.com...[5] http://www.cdc.gov...[6] http://dogbitelaw.com...[7] http://www.history.com...[8] https://en.wikipedia.org...[9] http://supernatural.wikia.com...[10] http://mysteriousuniverse.org...[11] http://wolf.ok.ac.kr...