All women should be given free large breast enhancements by the government

I presume he accepts that the proper way to eat a hamburger is like an Oreo. Just to clarify - my spelling was 100% accurate. Breat is a jocular alternative synonym for breast (. http://www.urbandictionary.com...). Oppertunities refers to opportunities for kids (. http://www.kcnursery.com...), so in this instance all nightclubs are not allowed to discriminate in what type of kids they hire. My arguments1) Giving american women breast implants will make women in New Zealand look bad2) Women are already hot so there's no problem to solve. Here's a picture of an average woman: . http://greenobles.com...3) Will reduce every teenage girl's chances of getting laid if younger than 16, meaning. .. a) girls lose self-esteem and commit suicideb) girls pretend to be older so to get the implants early, which has a slippery-slope effect and could even lead to them drinking alcoholc) girls won't be as experienced when they do get laidd) teen boys will have more incentive to rape their motherse) teen boys will have more incentive to rape their grandmothersf) older men will lose incentive to rape young teen girls, which as everybody knows accounts for 35% of all reproduction4) men would masterbate more, lessening productivity, sleep deprivation and sexual appetite, before eventually drowning the world in semen5) girls would think they need implants to look good, and become angry at God for not creating them better, thus bringing on another apocalypseMy counter-modelSince women are already so well-endowed with breasts, I suggest breasts should be implanted where they are actually lacking. I thus propose all men should be given free breast implants instead. That way:1) We'd always have something arousing to look at, and there'd be more people to fantasize about2) Gay men would cease to exist, making Christians happier3) We'd be able to confront "awkward situations" head on and learn to deal with them4) With the right implants we'd be able to breast-feed our kids, helping them get nourishment so they can grow up to be good pedophile attractions at nightclubs.5) When we stuff up our hamburger eating it falls on our breasts, not our lap (which is a lot less sexy)6) Crossdressers would become socially accepted7) Fat guys would become socially accepted8) Islamic men would be desensitised and Islam would remove the requirement for burquas9) Would make men more attractive since breasts are so arousing10)Much more room for boys to experiment on themselves11)New Zealand could laugh at and make fun of American men12)All girls would become like lesbians, and lesbians are hotRebuttal1) Breasts are so arousing - That's why we should only have sex with those who have big breasts, and bring the rest out of our gene pool. You can't make that assessment accurately when all girls have the same breast size.2) Hotness scale - Dealt with in counter-model - boys lower than girls under status quo.3) More fun CPR - But it's fun already! With my model you'll always have fun no matter who needs the CPR.4) Can have sex with dead girls - You can already do this under the status quo by digging up a dead porn star. Their bodies are VERY well-preserved because Satan uses them sometimes.5) Crowded elevators more fun - Real women don't go into crowded elevators. They prefer to fly up and down buildings using their superpowers we men aren't supposed to know about.6) This point is an elaboration on (1)7) Bra shopping more rewarding - manufacterers of small bras would go out of business, which will likely bring down the whole supply chain, so there won't be any bra shopping under your model. In fact, I don't think women would wear bras any more. Under my model, men's bras would pop up and suddenly you can get to go bra shopping twice as often.8) Strippers more common - but when people go to a strip club, they'd go to see the little children, and sometimes the animals, under your model. The whole attraction of strippers is that they're better than the other girls - but if all girls have the same implants and thus the same breast size, there's no point to the industry any more.9) Equality - this would be better achieved if both men and women have curve-fitting attire.10)Tourism - you'd get more of it if we can laugh at you, not if we feel bad about ourselves. Trust me.11)Illegals would report - no, illegals would get illegal implants that are slightly bigger than everybody else's.12)TV reporters hot - they already are (. http://www.tvnewsgirls.com...)13)Music videos hotter - they're already too hot to handle (. http://www.nerve.com...)14)Beach funner - even more so if girls weren't the only ones you could perve at.15)Hotter prom dates - proms would be abolished under my opponent's model as all the boys would be arrested for indecent exposure. Also all boys without prom dates would commit suicide more rapidly.16)Stalker girls hotter - this is a bad thing, because nobody SHOULD like stalkers, because as everybody knows, all stalkers have AIDS. Otherwise, why stalk?17)Jogging would be televised - would be boring since it's always the same thing. Show would be canceled in seconds.18)Hot neighbours more hot - this would make you a stalker and give you AIDS.19)Girls can nap on "pillow boobs" - aren't men more in need of this than girls?20)Wet T-Shirt contests closer - with my model, these are better because more people can join in the fun. Even you, Imabench.21)College Sorority car washes - I want my opponent to finish this argument.22)Game shows hotter - most game shows have male presenters, so to maximise hotness I'd target them23)Women catfights - while breasts are good bludgeoning weapons, what if they were used against males? Shouldn't we have our own breasts to defend ourselves with?24)Selena Gomez hotter - wouldn't it be better if Barack Obama had breasts to distract you from the crappy reality of your situation?25)LDF - wouldn't it be better if Joseph Kony emigrated to the US to get breast implants (since we all know he wants them) only to be arrested at the border?26)Jennifer Lopez taken seriously - Jennifer Lopez is never serious, though.27)Movies hotter - again, lack of hotness in movies is equally the fault of all the flat-chested males. Females generally have bigger boobs than males in movies.28)Female occupations hotter - I say that ALL nurses/cheerleaders/athletes etc should be hot, regardless of gender. Stop discriminating! Extra argument: My opponent claimed to make 50 arguments, and only has 28. Therefore he is a liar. Therefore if you vote for him you're a liar. Therefore voting for him is a vote for me. Since you can't escape voting for me, you might as well just vote for me instead of voting for him. Conclusion: Women don't need breast implants - their breasts are big enough already. Men need them!