Gay Marriage should be legalized soon but Straight Marriage should be illegalized immediately

Reasons why Gay Marriage should be legalized 1) Why not? 2) They should have the right to, they are people to and they deserve more of a right to get married out of true love then a heterosexual couple who hate each other 3) nobody gives a f*ck about what the bible says because the verse that says that gay marriage is an abomination because the Bible is a really f*cked up book.... http://www.ranker.com... 4) It would be fun to watch homophobes hide in fear 5) It would bother a certain number of conservatives on this site, and it would amuse me 6) Gay guys are the ultimate chick magnets and having gays around immediately improves your chances of getting laid. 7) Guys can finally live in a marriage where they dont want to kill themselves every time they wake up and most importantly 8) If two women get married, and they get into a fight, we can figure out which one wins! (My bet is that its the one in the kitchen, the one who cleans the most, or the one who makes sandwiches the best) (If the latter is the true reason then I would also like to mention that Royal would be able to win a fight against LDF because Royal is great at making sandwiches) Now then, reasons why straight marriage should be banned... 1) They rarely work out. 50% of all marriages end in divorce so either you get divorced, or your wife does 2) If marriage wasnt recognized between heterosexuals then men would get more action all the time. Lets face it the minute you say "I Do" you also say "No you dont" to your penis cause the amount of action he gets in the future just plummeted to zero. If straight marriage were illegal though women would put out more to make sure their men stay and live with them (which would still be allowed) 3) Women and men fight all the f*cking time, they are not meant to live in the same house together because men are naturally filthy whereas women are clean. Meanwhile in the bathroom a mans bathroom is sparse and open whereas a woman's bathroom is covered in so much crap that you cant even take a sh*t on the toilet because your sister likes to leave her toe painting sh*t on the toilet where she paints them and when you put it back where it belongs she gets pissed off at you for no reason. Now you use your parents bathroom since your sister is such a b*tch but your parents wont let you and you would use your little brothers but it smells like piss and so now you have to take a sh*t and cant go anywhere...... 4) Straight Marriage is a socialist society where only a fraction of people make all the money but then that money is redistributed among people who are lazy and dont do anything, meaning that capitalists naturally would support the abolition of heterosexual marriage 5) Heterosexual marriage is a leading cause of the STD known as "children" which is a burden on the entire society. 6) Heterosexual marriage causes tensions between the mom and dad where mom b*tches all the time about stuff and the dad then goes out getting hammered drunk and coming home with his "friends" who smell like booze and titty bars... These are my reasons for why gay marriage should be legal but straight marriage should not. I may add more arguments later, but for now I will allow the con to offer counter arguments.