Starbucks Coffee is burnt and overpriced.

Regardless, I will begin my troll argument in this debate. WARNING: EXTREME TROLLING AHEADI. IntroductionStarbucks is far from being burnt and overpriced. With the CEO having a net worth of $2.2 billion,[1] Starbucks has made a colossal amount of money due to its irresistible coffee, its fair price, and did I mention the coffee? It even has over 20,000 shops and 150,000 employees! [2] Surely they must have all been attracted to this coffeehouse because of its irresistible coffee. It doesn't make sense that Starbucks would be the largest coffeehouse chain in the world if it was burnt and overpriced! People would immediately detest it and shun it for the rest of their miserable, coffee-lacking lives. My opponent has asked me to define good coffee in my opinion, and I declare that good coffee is something that can wake you from your hangover from last Friday night and tastes much better with a good deal of sugar! At least, that's my opinion anyway. Am I the only one in this world who thinks so? No! Do you think Starbucks got all of its money from me? I wish, but no. Starbucks mania is sweeping across the nation, and millions of people have not spent their lives without tasting the sweet nectar of coffee. .. that is, if it's full of sugar, but again, that's my opinion. II. A Small Rebuttal Leading Up to Round 4It doesn't really matter if Starbucks Coffee uses flavorings in their coffee, because it still has the same bitter taste anyway! My opponent continuously states that Starbucks is overpriced, and yes, its coffees cost more than all of its competitors, but it's better to have more cost than that processed CRAP that McGovern churns out! I mean, who in their right mind would trust McDonald's over Starbucks? They're HALF OF THE REASON why humans eat one pound of insect every year! [2] Imagine pureed cockroach in your coffee! Not even sugar could fix that! How dare they! I'd pay an extra $100 to drink an insect-free coffee! Sure, some Starbucks stores are ratchet, too, but at least they just grind a leg or an antenna into that brown muck, not the whole thing! Starbucks Coffee can be expensive, but almost everyone can afford $10, and they don't include even worse products than flavoring in their coffee! III. The Support of White Girls See that meme above? It's a commonly known fact that all white girls are addicted to Starbucks. It's also known that white girls are famous for their pomposity, their obnoxiousness, and their fastidiousness! Imagine if they were handed a coffee that was priced below $4! A decent portion of them would say "Oh my god, that's so ratchet, bae. Like, I can't even twerk. " or some crap like that, and post the darn thing on Instagram and check for likes every ten seconds for a week! Thankfully, that hasn't happened for a while now since the species of albino puella has stumbled into the knowledge of Starbucks! We males should be eternally indebted to Starbucks for cutting down social network activity by white girls by. ..0.1%. The bad news is, all girls did stop posting crappy coffees on Instagram, which was half of the things they did originally, but ever since they tasted the heavenly coffee of Starbucks, they began posting THAT! Argh! The species of albino puella must be exterminated, but that will be another issue. My point is, Starbucks did a heroic thing, attempting to save the world from the albino puella by sacrificing the sanity of the whole company in order to distract the white girls from social networking! Unfortunately, that had backfired, and Starbucks had lost their sanity many months ago. We should call them MARTYRS, and yet Pro dares to call our saviors' beverages BURNT and OVERPRICED? How dare he! This is utter blasphemy! IV. ConclusionAllow me to gain some of my sanity back. .. oh wait, I didn't have any from the beginning. Anyway, my argument contained much more trolling than I originally intended, but it was still fun. Thank you to the readers who have endured this much of my insanity, and I hope that Pro will reply with a reaction to my troll argument this time! V. Sources[1]. http://www.forbes.com...[2]http://cisr.ucr.edu...;