Resolved: Krabby Patties are superior to Purple Penguins

Thank you for your interesting arguments. I will start with my rebuttals to your rebuttals.1. Better Pets"This means that theifs could easily steal your purple penguin."FALSE!!! Purple penguins could defend themselves against the thieves very easily. They could bite, kick, and scratch them and ward them off with their cute penguin senses. Krabby patties, although not requiring much care, are not the least bit loyal. They will cheat on you with other owners and be horribly unfair to you. In fact, not many people would even think about stealing your loyal penguin. "GIMME THE KRABBY PATTY!!""But again, this guy is so small you could easily smush him to death in one stomp."That's not Plankton. That's not Plankton at all, and you are the wrongest wronged wrong and very mistaken, my young man. Plankton doesn't want to steal the krabby patty, he wants to steal the krabby patty formula. Shown in a number of episodes, Plankton doesn't actually care very much about the krabby patty itself, he just wants to get rid of it to increase his store business. Shown in Source (1), he will do ANYTHING to steal the krabby patty. And he is very clever, so just smushing him will not do any harm. 2. Better Secretaries"Now, you may have think I completely ignored the fact that my opponent claims that purple penguins can karate chop monsters in half. That's actually nothing."Squidward, an innocent bystander, was KILLED by these patties. Spongebob didn't intentionally try to kill him, he actually tried to help. This shows that a number of horrible and innocent victims could die by this mass murdering serial killer krabby patty. Purple penguins, on the other hand, are perfectly harmless unless treated cruelly or shown harm. Purple penguins only respond with their natural instinct and don't murder random people for no reason. (1) There are many global catastrophic risks... but the krabby patty is so, so dangerous, that they don't even bother to put it in the wikipedia, since so many people already know about it that it would be pointless to try.below: huge explosion caused by the eating of a krabby patty. See how much damage this krabby patty has done?! LOOK! Blood everywhere, and a bloody umbrella and a bloody shirt. Obviously caused by the krabby patty. "And as for pay, the krabby patty doesn't even need fish meat. On the other hand, my opponent is incorrect about how much pay is needed. Penguins need...90 fish per day. (1) That's a lot! And considering that on average, per kilogram fish costs about $7.00 (2)...well, good luck paying the money!"Not only is that ridiculous, it makes absolutely NO sense. Krabby patties wouldn't do any work as a secretary... they do NOTHING. I am serious. What you are showing is a silly reDONKulous image that would never happen in real life. Plus, I probably would receive huge amounts of money just by having a purple penguin secretary. In FACT, my employees and others would pay to see, visit, talk to, or even pet my purple penguin. I would earn huge amounts of money that way.Rebuttals to your Strange Krabby Patty Uses1. It doesn't seem like a very good stapler. Purple penguins, on the other hand, can staple anything. See? Isn't this a much better, cooler, prettier, nice and more usable stapler than the krabby patty? 2. The krabby patty isn't being used as a phone. He's just holding it.3. Penguin notepads are sooooooo much better. 4. Penguin backpacks I WOULD POST MORE BACKPACKS, BUT I'M AFRAID I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TIME. I APOLOGIZE FOR THE INCONVINENCE.3. CutenessIn that Spongebob episode, the colorfulness had very harmful effects (3). And you saw how well that "love" turned out. A rotten, broken relationship. Sources (1) http://spongebob.wikia.com...'s_schemes (2) http://en.wikipedia.org...(civilization)(3) http://spongebob.wikia.com...;