It should be legal to sell cytoplasmic hybrid animals to the general public

Preamble: ----------- According to the latest research, orang-utans, not chimpanzees, are human's closest relatives (1). This is good news for entrepreneurs wishing to crossbreed orang-utans and humans and even better news for their potential future customers. That's because the latest advances in fertilisation and embryology techniques (2) have enabled the good people at Eggleston's Ethical Enterprises to start researching the possibility of producing admixed embryos developed from a combination of human and orang-utan eggs and DNA. Please read on to find out more… Definitions: ------------ Cytoplasmic hybrids, or cybrids - made by placing the nucleus from a human cell into an animal egg that has had its nucleus removed, or visa-versa. Oranghumans™ - hybrid creaturea that are the result implanting orang-utan DNA into human eggs and allowing the foetuses to develop to maturity inside the wombs of female orang-utans. These animals are bred more for strength and agility rather than intelligence and the ability to communicate, yet will be far smarter than any ape. Here is a computer-generated image of what an Oranghuman™ could look like: http://www.partymob.com... Humanutans™ - hybrid creaturea that are the result implanting human DNA into orang-utan eggs and allowing the foetuses to develop to maturity inside the wombs of female humans. These animals are bred more for intelligence and the ability to communicate rather than strength and agility, yet will be far more athletic than any human. Here is a computer-generated image of what an Humanutan™ could look like: http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk... Contention: ------------ Imagine how much better life would be if you owned one of Eggleston's Ethical Enterprises all new cytoplasmic hybrids. Think of all the advantages they could bring. If the law allows, it will soon be possible to choose between two breeds of cybrids: the more muscular Oranghuman™ and the more intelligent Humanutans™; both of which can be put to a variety of uses: Pets – training your pet Humanutan™ is easy as he can communicate with you using basic English. So, in addition to having a loyal and affectionate pal around the house, you can also order him do the household chores, bring you a drink from the fridge, wash the car, mow the lawn or you could even send him round to your troublesome neighbour's house to throw bricks through his windows ("Nothing to do with me officer, yes, it could have been my ape but what are you going to do? Arrest it?") Mercenary Soldiers – sending Oranghumans™ into battle is the ideal solution for private security firms charged with subduing insurgents in rogue states. These animals are supremely athletic and can be utilized in high risk activities such as mine clearance or flushing enemies out of their entrenchments and since they are not paid, they make more economic sense than employing humans even with high levels of fatalities. Factory Workers – Fed up with trying to compete with cut-price products from China? Of course, there is no way you can produce your goods as cheaply as them due to the far higher labour costs in the West. But wait! Why not sack your menial staff and replace them with Oranghumans™ and Humanutans™? After all, it would make a lot of sense because beyond the initial purchase price, all you will have to spend is a few dollars a week per unit on food and shelter - even the Chinese can't compete with that! Yes, the list of applications just goes on and on. Surely no government should deny its citizens the advantages of owning Eggleston's Ethical Enterprises' Oranghumans™ and Humanutans™ and for this reason I affirm that it should be legal to sell cytoplasmic hybrid animals to the general public. Thank you. (1) http://news.nationalgeographic.com... (2) http://www.timesonline.co.uk...