It is better to light a cat on fire than a dog.

http://www.youtube.com...ObiWan, what are you doing, man? You can't just toss in a youtube link at the bottom of your argument like a boring literary citation and expect everyone to watch it. You gotta post it!And here we are nearing the halfway point of this incredibly important debate. So I propose an intermission. Anyone who has been reading along, we appreciate your continued attention. But please take the opportunity now to go grab a snack and possibly an ice cold beer. And most importantly, take the time to appreciate the hand selected YouTube video that my Aussie adversary has provided. Yes, that's right, I am posting my opponent's video for him. Enjoy - I'll wait..........What, you are back so soon? Yes, those were some really cute kittens. And I hope that you enjoyed them as much as I did. Which brings me to my next round of arguments: reasons why you should NOT light cats on fire.1. Do NOT light cats on fire because Cats are entertaining.In today's digital age, cats have become an internet sensation. They are staring in viral videos, amusing people with clever memes, and bringing diverse cultures together with the power of laughter. We all just watched the video Pro provided and the kittens were absolutely adorable. Here is just a sample of some of the internet's most popular feline celebrities: keyboard cat, LOLCatz, Maru the box cat, business cat memes, Simon's cat, that cat with the green melon peel on its head. Even Pro could not resist posting a picture of Grumpy cat - one of the internet's most famous and beloved cats - as his "example of a cat".Cat images, videos and gifs have become so popular on the internet or as John Oliver calls it, the "electronic cat database", that cats are taking up large chunks of the overall internet activity. In fact, studies conducted by the Massachusetts Institute of Technology show that cat pictures and videos make up approximately 15% of all internet activity, that is second only to pornography [12], as illustrated in this pie chart that I recreated on my very own computer: 2. Do NOT light cats on fire because they prevent the spread of deadly disease.Pro claims that we should all grab pitchforks and chase down cats with a mob-like mentality. He even goes so far as to reference "the days of witch trials". What a rather draconian train of thought. Pro, I like your style; however, I dare say that your proposal is incredibly flawed. You are correct in stating that cats had been hunted down and killed as part of the witch trials; however, it ultimately resulted in 25 million dead Europeans. But I'm getting ahead of myself. First, a quick tale from the depths of History 101 or some other three digit number.It is important to understand the history of our feline friends and the intricate way that they have woven their lives into human society. It is believed that cats have been domesticated since as far back as 12,000 BCE. Humans recognized the cat's natural hunting abilities and began trusting cats to protect their grains and other food supplies from rats, mice and other pests. [13]Cats then rose to a god-like status during the days of the Ancient Egyptians: exporting cats was illegal, injuring cats resulted in severe punishments; and the penalty for killing cats, even by accident, resulted in the death penalty. The Egyptians went so far as to depict one of their most popular deities, the goddess Bastet, in the image of a cat. Bastet was said to protect the Egyptian people from evil spirits and disease. Similarly, the Ancient Chinese made sacrifices to the cat goddess Li Shou to protect their families from pests. These societies understood that if you respect cats, cats will protect their people in return. But let's take a look at a society which failed to respect the feline species - a society which killed off cats, much like Pro proposes that we do. [13]Cats were not so highly regarded in Europe. During the Middle Ages the Christian Church began drumming up their witch trials. They began to associate cats with witchcraft and the European people grabbed pitchforks and killed off cats with a mob-like mentality, exactly like Pro proposes that we all do. But here is what happened: When the European people killed off cats, it allowed the mice and rat populations to thrive. The vermin population carried fleas. And those fleas carried the great Bubonic Plague. [13] In other words, by killing off cats, the European people killed off a key natural defense against the spread of disease.In 1347, right before the Bubonic plague struck, the European population was estimated at approximately 75 million people. After just five years the European population had plummeted down to 50 million people. That's roughly one-third of the European population which was culled off by disease. [14]If the European people had simply respected the feline species as the Egyptians had, the Black Death pandemic could have been avoided. What good is history if we don't learn from it? Only a fool would risk the health of humanity by burning cats.3. Do NOT light cats on fire because they are more sanitary than dogs.Now that it has been established how cats prevent the spread of pandemic diseases, let me walk you through the day of your average dog. They drink from the toilet, then they lick your face. They lick their own butts, then they lick your face. They eat their own poop, then they lick your face. Dogs are regularly spreading bacteria with their tongues. In contrast, cats love to be clean. Veterenarian Dr. Cynthia McManis claims that "adult cats spend up to 50 percent of their waking hours grooming". [15]Additionally, dogs poop everywhere. They poop on lawns. They poop on sidewalks. One time a dog even pooped in the water fountain at my local park [16]. That flaming paper bag of poop you stomped out on your front porch last Tuesday - don't ask me how it got there - but chances are it was dog poop. At least, you can be certain it wasn't cat poop because a cat has the decency to cover up its own poop and bury it.No Double DippingPro uses a picture of a house cat as his "example of a cat" but when forced to concede that dogs are more dangerous than cats, he expands out his scope of a "cat" to include lions. Yet at the same time, Pro dismisses Hellhounds and the Puppy Monkey Baby as "ridiculous". You can't have it both ways. Either hellhounds and the Puppy Monkey Baby are included -OR- lions need also be dismissed as ridiculous.Sources:[12] http://www.thescoopnews.com...[13] http://www.ancient.eu...[14] http://www.themiddleages.net...[15] http://www.webvet.com...[16] Some homeless guy I met in the park. We call him Terry the Bum. Also, if you've got any change please consider donating it to the Terry the Bum drinking foundation. His booze fund is running perilously low these days. #Economy.