physical force (childern being abused or hit )

I realize that this may be taboo, & an unpopular position to support. I therefore ask the reader to approach this topic with an open mind, free of preconceived notions/convictions. The type of spanking about which I speak, may be vastly different from the the the one you have in mind.I'm obviously not advocating abuse.I will make the case however, for the use of spanking as a disciplinary measure, if, & only if done right.I will be making the case, that there can be a right way of using spanking as a disciplinary tool.Again how to do discipline a child, is a personal decision. I will be making the case that the decision to use spanking, is not inherently bad/wrong, if done correctly, in the ways I outline below.Spanking has been used as a disciplinary measure for thousands of years. Proverbs 13:23 says: "Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children. Those who love their children care enough to discipline them." The problem is, that most parents who hit, do not know how/when, & often do so without the correct intentions.Done right, it can be an effective method of discipline, as it has been for many millennia.The key here is when & how to spank. Here are some conditions which I think are essential to proper discipline by spanking, if the parent has trouble following these conditions they have no right to use spanking as a disciplinary method (know thyself):Before I state the conditions, I'd like to define what I mean by spanking:Spanking - To slap clothed buttocks with an open hand without inflicting physical injury.Preliminary conditions:1) Clear warning.Your first interaction with your child about a situa­tion should be verbal. A child should never be blindsided by the discipline you hand down to her. It should always be preceded by a clear warning, both for her sake and for yours. You want to know whether your child deliberately crossed a line or made an honest mistake. A clear warning will help her steer clear of danger and will help you know you're correcting intentional disobedience. That's why it would be appropriate to issue a warning to Johnny the first time you see him walking out of the neighbor boy's house. The enforcement of discipline comes only after words have not done the job. Physical means of correction are only appropriate in cases of clear disobedience, and then only at certain ages 2) Spanking must not ever be done while angry. If your child has gotten you angry, do not spank no matter what. Discipline must come from a place of genuine love & caring. When a parent spanks, it should hurt/pain the parent to do so, & the only reason it's being done is for the good of the child. A parent who feels like spanking, out of anger, frustration, etc. should absolutely not spank, & a different method of discipline must be found. A spank coming from frustration/anger is not only not beneficial to the child, but detrimental as well. This is 1 of the big problems in spanking (today), most parents who spank, do it out of frustration rather than love.3) Always Reassure Your Child:Never leave your child with the impression that you're angry. A very good rule to remember is this: spank them until they cry, then hold them until they stop. 4) Spanking should not be about punishment: A difference between discipline and abuse starts with a mindset. When you spank your child, it must never be done to "give them what they deserve." It's not about punishing them, it's about training them to know right and wrong. 5)Avoid embarrassment. Spanking should not ever be done in front of others: Never spank your child in front of their sibling, their friends, or anyone else. All to often, parents spank out of embarrassment. This is a double no no. It combines wrong intentions, with humiliation. The last thing that you as a parent want is to humiliate your child. So when it's necessary to spank them, take them aside by yourselves. A good rule of thumb is: Praise in public, correct in private. ---How to:6) Never spank any place other than the child's clothed bottom and only with your open hand. and only hard enough that they feel mild discomfort.7) Spanking must never ever leave any sort of bruises or long lasting pain whatsoever: Spanking should never leave a mark! Remember, this is an issue of love - not retribution. If a spanking leaves lasting pain for a child - it is not correction, it's abuse. If a parent cannot do this right, it should not be done at all. (See here for practical details of some ways this can be done. http://www.focusonthefamily.com...) 8) As stated before Always Reassure Your Child. Never leave your child with the impression that you're angry.After spanking hold the child, show them that you genuinely love & care for them, that you will always love them & be there for them, no matter what they do.9) Be Clear About Why Your Child Is Being Disciplined. A child will not benefit from any form of discipline, spanking or otherwise, unless they know what is being corrected. 10) Do not spank too frequently. Again, spanking should be reserved only due to open disobedience, and not used whenever one feels annoyed. If you do it all the time, it will lose any effectiveness that it might have and is just plain mean.11) Earn the respect of your child by being fair; you must also convince your children that if they are openly disobedient, the discipline will be quick and certain. In this way, they will learn the clear boundaries and seek to not overstep them to earn your trust ---12) Spanking is an (lost) art, passed down from parent to child. One should only use this discipline if they were raised with it, & found it to be, in retrospect, beneficial. Anyone else, including;a) A child who was raised in an abusive home, b) a person with bad experiences involving hitting, spanking, or any form of abuse, & c) a person raised in a home where this form of discipline was not used, should use other methods of discipline.As a rule of thumb, when in doubt, do without. & find a different method of discipline. Today there are many other good methods of discipline.Sources:http://mattheos.hubpages.com...http://www.focusonthefamily.com... http://www.wikihow.com...http://www.themorningsun.com...