Jesus Christ was gay and John the Apostle was his boyfriend

Of course, the burden of proof is on me in this debate, I have to 'prove' that Jesus Christ, as featured in the New Testament and other texts, was a homosexual. If the Internet had existed two thousand years ago then, my job would be easier. I could trawl the Biblical gay forums looking for evidence. .. Jesus C: Hey dude, what are thou up to, bro? John the A: Hanging with the boys on the bank of the Jordan River. Jesus C: And I bet those boys have casteth aside their garments, so that thou may cleanse them, haveth they not, thou dirty bugger, LOL. John the A: Thou knowest me too well, dude. What are thy plans for tonight? Shall we meeteth underneath the fig tree? Mary M has given me a super recipe for stuffed figs. Jesus C: That soundeth awesome, dude, I'll bring the meat. John the A: From what I heard, it won't be the first time thou hast stuffed thy meat inside a date, thee naughty boy, LOL! Jesus C: Ooh, get her! Sadly, such unequivocal evidence for Jesus Christ being gay and John the Apostle being his boyfriend is not so easy to obtain, but that does not prevent us from piecing together all the information we have available to make a sound judgement based on the balance of probability, which is what I attempted to do in the opening round. My opponent, however, just like a defence lawyer, has questioned the validity of my evidence, which is what we would expect him to do, and I am happy to clarify my assertions as follows: The Jordan codices have been authenticated by scholars of ancient history. "The director of the Jordan's Department of Antiquities, Ziad al-Saad, says the books might have been made by followers of Jesus in the few decades immediately following his crucifixion. " (1) Although I agree that they may not be any more "significant than any other piece of fiction ever written", the same can be said of the New Testament itself. I'm not a professor but Michael Ruse, whose article I referenced, is (2,3) and it is his research and assertion that Paul was gay that was the basis for my claim. My opponent is mistaken, Jesus was, indeed, a Jew: in fact; the members of his gay club even referred to him as "Rabbi". (4) To understand Jesus' relationship with Mary we must remember the attitude towards women of the society in which he lived: "Let the words of the Law be burned rather than committed to women. .. . If a man teaches his daughter the Law, it is as though he taught her lewdness" (Sotah 3:4) "The woman, says the Law, is in all things inferior to man. Let her accordingly be submissive" (Apion 2:2 1 0) "Let a curse come upon the man who must needs have his wife or children say grace for him. " "Praise be to God that he has not created me a gentile; praised be God that created me not a woman; praised be God that he has not created me an ignorant man. " (Menahot 43b) "It is well for those whose children are male, but ill for those whose children are female . .. At the birth of a boy all are joyful, but at the birth of a girl all are sad . .. When a boy comes into the world, peace comes into the world; when a girl comes, nothing comes . . . Even the most virtuous of women is a witch. " (Nidda 3 lb). So we can see that not only was society in which Jesus lived deeply homophobic (which is why he had to conceal the fact that he was gay) but also profoundly misogynistic. Clearly, Jesus did not have a sexual relationship with her, so what was she doing hanging around with him? The only possible explanation is that she wanted a sexual relationship but he wanted a platonic one: mirroring the relationship many gay men have with women in today's society. Finally, it is natural to be close to one's mother as a child, but as a boy develops into a man, he becomes emotionally removed from his mother and is anxious to become independent. That is unless the boy is gay. In conclusion, I have offered a broad range of solid evidence that, taken together, proves that Jesus and John were gay lovers while my opponent has offered no evidence to suggest that Jesus was heterosexual. For this reason, I urge you to vote Pro. Thank you. (1) . http://www.bbc.co.uk... (2) . http://www.guardian.co.uk... (3) . http://www.guardian.co.uk... (4) . http://www.keyway.ca...