This is a better desire poem than Sonnet 141

What we have here is a slightly ironic misunderstanding of art. Things such as movies, poetry, stories, ETC, they do not literally force a feeling onto a person. The level a person feels when partaking in any media of art is half through the artists, by effectively creating an atmosphere that the partaker can immerse themselves in, but also the job of the partaker, to be able to empathize and immerse themselves in a work of art. However, this is not always how art is done. Some works, depending on their objective, can use many means other than immersion to show a meaning. So, is Shakespeare ineffective in displaying desire, or are you failing to immerse and empathize yourself into the story?From your language, that he is just stating desire but we do not feel it, I discern you are failing to, or cannot, empathize with the desire Shakespeare is portraying. There are many forms of desire, even in the narrower tense of sexual desire, and for many this can be a complicated subject to speak on. Your poetry focus on simplistic, almost animalistic sexual desire of "You're hot, let's get together and let me see your butt." This is fine for some, but it is rather plain and uncomplicated. Let's compare to Shakespeare's Sonnet 141. There are multiple tiers to the feeling our narrator is dealing with. First, we have a person who sees a person with rather plain features, and could even be considered less than plain. "In faith, I do not love thee with mine eyes, For they in thee a thousand errors note". Yet, this person still has these feelings they cannot explain. "But 'tis my heart that loves what they despise, Who in despite of view is pleased to dote," "But my five wits, nor my five senses can, Dissuade one foolish heart from serving thee,". So he has such intense feelings for a person, yet he cannot explain them. Not only is he struggling with these desires, but their cause. I am sure this is something we can all empathize with.Next, there is a bit of trouble on the part of the narrator for what exactly this person does to him. He cannot explain why he intensely desires, and he cannot help himself but to go against his own values for this person. "Only my plague thus far I count my gain, That she that makes me sin awards me pain." In conclusion, not only do we see a struggle with these intense feelings and their cause, but also with what he does in the same of these feelings. Shakespeare's poem portrays a complex but emotional desire. How does this compare to your poetry? Well, you have the fake language down. You know just saying 'thy' and 'thee' doesn't replicate the effect of Shakespeare's poetry, right? I mean, with how many debates you have on the guy, you can't really be projecting any harder. The quote you list from your poem seems to suggest some sort of uncomfortably put suicide pact with someone's butt? What do you mean by 'full moon'? Really, your poem is trying so hard to be deep that it is kind of sad. Like I genuinely take pity on a poem. I kind of want to see it do well and for you to produce a poem that isn't completely irrelevant but I don't see that happening. The entire poem seems to be trying so hard to replicate Shakespeare that it feels forced as well as uncomfortable on the tongue. Here's an example from your poem: "candles bright for thee does upon,this path long for thee do long?"Thanks for the debate and I await your response.