It should be legal to sell cytoplasmic hybrid animals to the general public

Thank you for posting this excellent debate. Though I must admit to having great sympathy for my opponents position, naturally desirous as I am of having a pet slave or indeed some form of ‘monkey butler' It is my position that opponents resolution would bring about more harm than good. Objections to the Preamble "That's because the latest advances in fertilisation and embryology techniques (2) have enabled the good people at Eggleston's Ethical Enterprises to start researching the possibility of producing admixed embryos developed from a combination of human and orang-utan eggs and DNA." If one types ‘Eggleston's Ethical Enterprises' into the search engine one fails to find a company of that name. http://www.bing.com...'s%20Ethical%20Enterprises&mkt=en-gb&FORM=TOOLBR&DI=2883&CE=14.0&CM=SearchWeb Furthermore if one is to consult Companies House, which stores the name of all past and present companies in the UK one would fail to find a corresponding match. http://wck2.companieshouse.gov.uk... I therefore allege that there are no good people, or indeed bad nor indifferent people at Eggleston's Ethical Enterprises who are capable of such developments by reason of the fact that they either do not exist, and/or neither does the biotech firm for which they hypothetically work. Objections to the Definitions My opponent suggests and defines two commercial slave species. "Oranghumans™ - hybrid creaturea that are the result implanting orang-utan DNA into human eggs and allowing the foetuses to develop to maturity inside the wombs of female orang-utans. These animals are bred more for strength and agility rather than intelligence and the ability to communicate, yet will be far smarter than any ape." Humanutans™ - hybrid creaturea that are the result implanting human DNA into orang-utan eggs and allowing the foetuses to develop to maturity inside the wombs of female humans. These animals are bred more for intelligence and the ability to communicate rather than strength and agility, yet will be far more athletic than any human." My objection is that according to my opponents own link, "The admixed embryos created by the Newcastle group are of a kind known as cytoplasmic hybrids, or cybrids, which are made by placing the nucleus from a human cell into an animal egg that has had its nucleus removed. The genetic material in the resulting embryos is 99.9 per cent human." Therefore Oranghumans will be 99.9% orangutan. Humanutans will be 99.9% human. I therefore argue that the potential benefits if such 'hybrids' are greatly exaggerated. As they will essentially still be humans or Orang-utans. Incidentally I do not believe that these terms have been trademarked. My opponent claims that, "Here is a computer-generated image of what an Oranghuman™ could look like:" http://www.partymob.com...... However this is actually the bear character originally from the popular British television comedy series ‘Bo selecta'. Popular for his vulgar ways and spontaneous erections and of course ultimately a human actor. http://www.youtube.com... My opponent further claims that, "Here is a computer-generated image of what an Humanutan™ could look like:" http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk...... However this is simply a rather hirsute and (then) horizontally triumphant darts player by the name Andy Fordham, or the ‘Viking‘. I shall concede that his beard does not seem to follow normal human growth patterns however I observe no conclusive evidence that he is a human/ape hybrid. http://www.bing.com...# With these corrections I shall now address my opponents contentions. "Imagine how much better life would be if you owned one of Eggleston's Ethical Enterprises all new cytoplasmic hybrids. Think of all the advantages they could bring. If the law allows, it will soon be possible to choose between two breeds of cybrids: the more muscular Oranghuman™ and the more intelligent Humanutans™; both of which can be put to a variety of uses:" In practical reality I would have purchased either an Orang-utan or a human. Though the ‘Orang-utan' would likely be marginally more intelligent and human looking than an average Orang-utan it would still be 99.9% an Orang-utan. It would likely eat all my food, defecate around the house, fail to take phone messages and crush me as I sit on the sofa watching TV. The ‘human' would likely be strange looking. marginally less intelligent, stronger but clumsier as it may not be fully bipedal. At best sharing a home with such a creature would bring back warm memories of student days, at worst it would be awkward. http://www.buzzincelebritygossip.co.uk... "Pets – training your pet Humanutan™ is easy as he can communicate with you using basic English. So, in addition to having a loyal and affectionate pal around the house, you can also order him do the household chores, bring you a drink from the fridge, wash the car, mow the lawn or you could even send him round to your troublesome neighbour's house to throw bricks through his windows" Being 99.9% human he is equally likely to sleep with my significant other, or urinate in my coffee. Also training such an ‘intelligent' being will require a great deal of cruelty which will likely cause him to crush me at some point with his fairly human but surprisingly hairy arms. My opponent also claims that. "Mercenary Soldiers – sending Oranghumans™ into battle is the ideal solution for private security firms charged with subduing insurgents in rogue states." Modern Armies, with the precision of modern technology often fail to minimise civilian casualties or successfully identify friend from foe. Assuming that Oranghumans can be trained to use a gun, logic still suggests that they would consistently fail to coordinate themselves in the field. My opponent argues that, "Factory Workers – Fed up with trying to compete with cut-price products from China? Of course, there is no way you can produce your goods as cheaply as them due to the far higher labour costs in the West. But wait! Why not sack your menial staff and replace them with Oranghumans™ and Humanutans™?" This would however create massive unemployment and all the resulting social ills that would bring as well as a 'racist' backlash. In addition for previously mentioned reasons the Oranghumans would simply sit, waddle, eat and defecate. Though cheaper than ordinary humans you do not generally have to outfit a human workforce with nappies. The Humanutans would be too intelligent, and would either revolt… or suffer from progressive lower work rates as they begin to talk about football, sex and how bad life is… the three main topics of conversation for any blue collar worker. In addition, escaped, lost, abandoned hybrids would be impossible to distinguish from the many chavs that currently roam our streets. http://cornerstonegroup.files.wordpress.com... Current misguided liberal thinking holds that chavs are somehow human therefore their lives, litters and drug habits to be paid for by the state. Should the hybrid population merge with the chav underclass a potentially catastrophic burden will be placed upon society. It is also a known fact that any attempt to blur the lines between Human and Ape or upgrade lesser hominids/primates will result in the destruction of mankind's hegemony over earth, to be followed by the further insult of a poor remake. http://moviesmedia.ign.com... Not to mention awkward and disturbing interracial relationships http://www.pollsb.com... It is for these reasons I negate the resolution.