Flirting is dangerous

The essence of your proposition that "flirting is dangerous" is vague in itself because flirtation and danger are relative. What you consider flirting, someone else may consider regular interaction between two people. For example, I would agree that flirting is dangerous if you are flirting with a notorious rapist. However, that is usually never the case. Flirting is an evaluation of whether or not your initial sexual attraction to another person should be followed by emotional and physical intimacy. Flirting is an opportunity to express to someone your personality to prove to them you have substance beyond your physical appearance. Flirting does not tempt people to have sex, but rather it evaluates one's temptation to pursue someone physically based on how they present themselves. I would agree that flirting centers around flattery, but to say the compliments are always false is simply wrong. I would argue people are typically genuine in their compliments of someone they are trying court, otherwise they would not be flirting in the first place. Furthermore, what is wrong with two people who are sexually attracted to each other having casual sex, as long as they do it in a safe and consensual manner? If you flirt with a girl and brag about it behind her back about how you could "get" with her, you are objectifying her, treating her like a "prize" and absolutely giving off the impression that you just want to get in her pants, which I can only assume is partially legitimate because you say you found yourself "lying to people [you] liked to get what [you] wanted." If your idea of flirtation is fueled by deceit and selfishness, that is fine, but you cannot assume that all people act like this when they flirt with someone. Flirting is actually the active pursuit of someone they wish to court. To be passive would be to not approach the person and, ultimately, never form a connection with them because you never approached them in the first place. How can you decide you want to form a relationship with someone without first establishing that there is a consensual emotional and physical connection between the two of you? For example, two friends do not decide to form a relationship and then figure out whether or not there is a legitimate emotional and physical attraction. Those things are established before they agree to be in a relationship and are established through flirting. Signals are absolutely not meaningless. Symbolic interactionism is the core of micro-social interactions. Whether the signal is a casual wink, a brush on the arm, or a display such as giving a bouquet of flowers, the signal has significant meaning. Signals like these are a form of flirtation. When these signals begin to wither away, you cannot assume the person has stopped liking you. Most of time, displays of affection lessen as the comfortability with someone increases. As you become more secure and comfortable with the relationship you are in, the less likely you are to go out of your way to prove your emotional and physical attraction because your partner already knows how you feel. You said it best yourself "if you want to date someone...be upfront about it." Exactly my point. Flirtation is the best way to be upfront with your attraction to another person. If you are not socially interacting with someone, you are not being upfront with your feelings. I agree that a consensual, intimate relationship can only thrive with a solid foundation of friendship and commonalities, but in order for a relationship to reach any form of consensual, physical intimacy, there needs to be a period between friendship and the relationship where the persons involved can evaluate what type of relationship they wish to pursue. In closing, I would like to argue that flirtation extends beyond simply giving each other compliments on physical attributes. Flirtation involves a great element of wit, intelligence, and charisma. To belittle flirtation to a back and forth exchange of petty, romantic compliments over a period of time is false, unless the scenario you're envisioning is the typical "one night stand with a stranger" situation, in which case flirtation is used just to sleep with someone. However, I'll restate: What is dangerous about two consenting adults having safe, consensual sex? I look forward to hearing your response because this is a topic I had not invested too much time into thinking about. I hope your perspective will help me form a more complete view on flirtation.