Fat Catholics are miserable SINNERS and those who refuse to fast are doomed to burn in HELL

To begin, my opponent wrote: “Catholics believe in the Sacrament of Reconciliation, which is able to absolve people of mortal sin…All a fat Catholic has to do, therefore, is confess his/her/its sins to a priest before they die, and they're safe from HELL. ” I wonder how that works in practice. Let’s consider the case of a certain 15th Century prince of Wallachia, a man who was a devout Roman Catholic and a member of the Order of the Dragon which was founded to protect Christianity in Eastern Europe, and who almost certainly confessed his sins to a priest before he died, possibly as follows: . Vlad the Impaler (for it is he): “Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. ” Priest: “How have you sinned, my child? ” Vlad: “I skewered some people on big spikes and they died horrible deaths as a result. ” Priest: “I see, and how many people did you kill in this way? ” Vlad: “Sixty thousand give or take a few thousand. ” Priest: “Oh well, never mind, these things happen, God forgives you. ” . So when Vlad died, because he had confessed his sins, St Peter presumably greeted him warmly at the Pearly Gates, ushered him inside and invited him to help himself to the welcome drinks and canapés. Is that right? So what if the next in line outside the Pearly gates was a Romanian farmer who hadn’t confessed his sins? . St Peter: “Hey, where do you think you’re going, mister? ” Farmer: “Well, I was hoping to take my rightful place in the Kingdom of Heaven. ” St Peter: “I don’t thinks so, peasant, unrepentant sinners like you aren’t welcome around here. ” Farmer: “But I was just a simple farmer living a blameless life, what was my sin? ” St Peter: “You coveted your neighbours ox, you evil bastard. ” Farmer: “What? ” St Peter: “You gazed admiringly at one of your neighbour’s oxen and wished that you owned the beast instead of him – you vile fiend – and you didn’t repent of your sin before you died. ” Farmer: “I admit that I was jealous of my neighbour’s ox, and I know that was wrong, and I was on my way to church to repent when this Transylvanian nobleman came up and rammed a big pointy pole right up my…anyway, suffice to say I didn’t make it to the church. ” St Peter: “I’m not interested in your excuses, you miserable little pleb, you’re going to HELL and that’s the end of the matter. ” . That doesn’t sound a very fair system of deciding who does and who doesn’t get into Heaven, does it? I mean, if anyone who repented their sins were allowed in the Catholic afterlife would be full of mafia bosses, IRA activists and violent medieval aristocrats – so with all the fighting between Italian gangsters, Irish terrorists and ruthless Romanian tyrants, Catholic Heaven would make South Central Los Angeles look like Martha’s Vineyard! I couldn’t believe that the Catholic god would allow this, so I checked and, in actual fact, he doesn’t. This is what Catholic Planet has to say about repentance: “Do not commit any serious sins. But if you have sinned seriously, repent sincerely. True and full repentance happens not merely out of fear of HELL, but also out of love of God and neighbor. Accept true love for God and neighbor, otherwise, you will not be able to fully and sincerely repent. Catholics (and the Orthodox) ordinarily obtain forgiveness from God in the Confessional. Other persons can obtain forgiveness by a full repentance based on the love of God and neighbor; this is called perfect contrition because it is based on the most perfect reason for repenting, true selfless spiritual love. Why should you be allowed to enter Heaven, if you have not repented from the evil that you did on earth? ” In other words, those who just go through the motions of repentance aren’t allowed into Heaven: it’s no good some big fat slob spending half his life scoffing burgers, pizzas and fried chicken while watching television documentaries about starving people in the Third World then nipping down to church to confess his sins after he is diagnosed with terminal heart disease and given one week to live - the LORD’s not going to be convinced that he is truly contrite and he’ll duly banish him to HELL. Therefore, I cannot accept that “Absolving (fat) people of sins and letting them go to heaven even if they refuse to fast” is a part of the Catholic faith. Regarding, the nature of Catholic HELL, the Bible is very clear that it is uncomfortably hot: in Mark 9:47–48 Jesus warns us, "[I]t is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than with two eyes to be thrown into HELL, where the worm does not die, and the fire is not quenched. " And in Revelations 14:11, we read: "And the smoke of their torment goes up for ever and ever; and they have no rest, day or night, these worshipers of the beast and its image, and whoever receives the mark of its name. " Indeed, some Tea Party supporters might argue that the fires of HELL are the real cause of global warming, which is also why I refute “that even if they do die and go to HELL, they will not burn because HELL went out. ” Regarding the special cases my opponent mentioned, Catholic Planet is very clear that all fat Catholics who refuse to fast will, indeed, go to HELL because they state categorically that the only special cases are: “babies who die in the womb, or at a very young age” and “severely handicapped persons. ” (2) Finally my opponent wrote: “If even one fat Catholic refuses to fast and avoids being doomed to burn in HELL, the resolution is negated. ” Since God is supposed to be infallible, no fat Catholic who refused to fast would be admitted into Heaven, and even if one obese deceased did manage to sneak past St Peter, I’m sure he’d soon be spotted amongst the other celestial citizens and be duly cast into the pits of HELL to burn for al eternity along with all the other fat Catholics who refused to fast. I rest my case. Thank you. (1) . http://www.catholicplanet.com... (2) . http://www.catholic.com...