One could logically follow a majority of these guidelines

I'll attack these points from two angles. First is the mundane one, that several are unsafe. Second, several points contradict each other, and can therefore not be followed if one of them is to be believed as safe. Mundane Attacks --- 1) In the event of a tornado, lie down in a ditch. If you are already lying in a ditch, do not attempt to sit up. There are two problems with this. First, there are far better places to be in the event of a tornado than some ditch in the ground. In fact, the Tornado Safety Project says that premade shelters are far more effective[1]. Ditches are a last resort if a sturdy shelter or interior room in a building cannot be found. As the Tornado Project says, "a culvert in a ditch MAY be a good choice if there is no rain, but if there IS rain, flash flooding may be more dangerous and likely than the tornado. " We cannot advise people to take the less safe route - a decision which increases their chance of harm. Second, lying in a ditch could result in a tetanus infection. Tetanus is a horrible disease, and the bacterial spores that cause it are found in the ground [2]. Again, advising someone to a better, non Tetanus-ridden spot is the course of action. We don't want this to happen: . http://en.wikipedia.org... . 2) The most important thing is to stay calm. This will be difficult since you are most certainly going to die. No opposition on principle. 3. Tornadoes spook easily. Firing a few warning shots into the air is usually enough to scare them off. Firing warning shots at a tornado is one of the stupidest things a person can do. First, a tornado could catch the bullet and send it flying somewhere else. This only adds to its deadly payload and ultimately endangers everyone. Second, tornados have no fear. Fear is an emotion generated by living beings in the amygdala[3]. Tornados are neither alive nor in possession of their own amygdalae. Rather, they are columns of air[4]. Also, people shouldn't waste their time buying/locating firearms, and then loading them with ammunition. They should be seeking safety. 4. Live a little, for once: Strap yourself to the roof of your house and rage at the heavens. The last place you want to be when a tornado strikes is in the open, or high up [1]. Strapping oneself to the roof of a house constitutes both. Furthermore, tanning can actually be detrimental to one's health, causing skin cancer and much dreaded sunburn (and by extension, ugly tan lines). People should not self-inflict pain, or tan lines. Finally, strapping oneself to the roof of a house during a tornado would likely increase someone's stress level. Stress is a response to a real or perceived threat [6]. Seeing a tornado bearing down on oneself is both a real and perceived threat. The list even claims that most people are "most certainly going to die". Staring death in the face is not a productive method of stress management. 5. Prevent tornadoes before they happen: Make sure that warm, moist air fronts do not converge with cool, dry ones. The article urges readers to prevent tornados by altering air fronts. Unfortunately, we lack the technology and ability to do so. Compelling people to do the impossible will only confuse them and lead to frustration. This, again, leads to stress[6] - people will not be able to adequately deal with the threat of tornados. They will become depressed when their inability leads to the deaths of millions and enter rage spirals. Suicide rates will skyrocket. 6. During a tornado, the only safe place is my loving arms. Come here, baby. The only way into the loving arms of God is death. If we accept Pro's interpretation, that means we are bidding people to perform suicide. Suicide is detrimental both to the health of the suicidal, but also to their family and friends. Each suicide impacts at least 6 living people emotionally [7], creating a net-decrease in societal well being. Second, compelling everyone to convert to Christianity forces them to compromise their own system of morals and beliefs. In essence, we are completely bypassing the individual and their right to free thought. Compromising one's moral system and having another forced results in a feeling of oppression, and will again lead to suicide. See the above. Third, despite the fact that millions of people are Christian, they are still killed by tornados. Divine protection is as effective as a swiss cheese umbrella. Fourth, there is no reason to believe that only the Christian God can provide divine love - another God could conceivably be the one. By converting everyone to Christianity we put all our eggs in one basket. If the Greek Gods are the real ones, they're going to become even angrier than they are now, and rain destruction upon us all. Religious diversity protects us from armageddon. Finally, if someone takes these directions literally and hugs a loved one or the author of the list, they have not increased their safety, and have ensured a higher death toll. 7. If a tornado strikes your home, even a basement could be dangerous, so construct a basement for your basement. This rule tells people to construct a shelter as a tornado is striking. If a tornado is striking, you seek shelter. Zero-hour is no time to start preparing. 8. If you spot a tornado, always remember to point at it, yell "tornado! ," and run like hell. Outrunning a tornado will almost always lead to failure. Again, the Tornado Project advises people that even cars can have difficulty escaping a tornado[1]. Take a peek at your speedometer. It goes up to >100mph. Even if we everyone could run as fast as Usain Bolt over extended periods of time, they would only reach 23.5 mph[8]. Yelling 'tornado' is redundant when tornado sirens are already alerting everyone of danger[9]. Running like hell is only justified if you are Forrest Gump [video] or being chased by zombies: . http://www.youtube.com... . http://www.hulu.com... [you can skip to 2:05, though I recommend watching it all =)]. Contradictions --- A) 1, 3, 4, 6, 7, 8 These instructions alternately tell people to hide in ditches, discharge a gun, attach themselves their roofs, seek "my loving arms", construct a shelter, and run like hell. Any one of these guidelines precludes the others (I cannot be running AND strapped to my house). Pro says that "a storm shelter is the most preferable place", meaning that one logically ought not follow instructions 1, 3, 4, 6, and 8. If 5 of them cannot be justified (they are mutually exclusive, and better options exist), then I win. B) 2, 4+8 One cannot simultaneously stay calm and "rage at the heavens" or "yell [and] run like hell". Plain and simple. C) 6, the rest of them If the only safe place to be is in "my loving arms", then the rest of the instructions cannot be followed in the interest of safety. Sources: [1] . http://www.tornadoproject.com... [2] . https://www.google.com... [3] . http://en.wikipedia.org... [4] . http://en.wikipedia.org... [5] . http://en.wikipedia.org... [6] . http://en.wikipedia.org...(biological) [7] . http://en.wikipedia.org... [8] . http://en.wikipedia.org... (based on his best possible time) [9] . http://en.wikipedia.org...