Noah's ark account is false

This debate is over the bible account of Genesis chapter 6 - 8, namely, the "Noah's Ark" account (this account will be taken LITERALLY because it is presented LITERALLY, and not figurative metaphor as some liberal Christian lunatics suggest). The topic, of this debate is "Noah's ark account is false", that is, that Genesis 6 - 8 describing the account of the bible character Noah building an ark God's command to save the life of all animals on earth is scientifically impossible, and never in fact happened in reality. Why this debate should even exist, I'll leave up to the Philosophers. Definitions: False "not according with truth or fact; incorrect." True/truth: "in accordance with fact or reality." And before you ask, no, the bible will not be included in this definition for this debate. God: Biblical deity often called "Yahweh" (though, also sometimes called "Jehovah" by even more Hebrew-illiterate Christian lunatics). This "Yahweh of the barren desert" of the ancient goat-heading Jews and Moses whom apparently wrote Genesis. He is Omnipotent, Omnipresent, Omnibenvolent and Omniscient...thats according to my Christian mate, John, whom claims to have spoken to God. He also has severe schizophrenia and a brain tumour. Bible: Basic "go-to" manual for genocide, mass murder, and how to stuff up something really really bad that you have to physically torture and kill yourself to then fix your something. Commonly rivalled by Quran, which can be compared to the rivalry of Windows VS iOS. And the Book of Mormon can be compared to Linux. No one uses Linux. Anyway, I'm off track. Rules: 1: Don't act like a neurologically deficient specimen of the human species. That is, don't be a troll, or debate idiotically (I.e. The bible is true because the bible says so huehuehue) 2: Burden o' proof is shared, namely, I (Pro) will prove Genesis 6 - 8 is (obviously) false, and Con will (try) to prove it is true. 3: If Pro/Con forfeit any rounds Con/Pro will likewise have to forfeit, respectively (to make debate fair). 4: If you have a problem with the above rules, please prey to God to change them. 5: If your offended by anything I've said so far, your a cat. (I would say the obvious synonymous slang for "cat" instead, but DDO's commitment to bubble wrapping the internet via suspending freedom of speech prevents me from doing so...in other words, I can't swear). 6: No Kritiks (changing the debate subject to something related yet off-topic). 7: For this debate, my opponent must include jokes, irony, and humorous satire to make this debate more lively. Even a funny jab at atheism is welcomed. 8: Pro and Con will assume God exists for this debate. Let the games begin... Game: "a form of competitive activity or sport played according to rules". Often takes place in a Roman Colosseum between a Christian and a live lion. The lion (for some reason) always wins against the Christian's number one weapon: faith. Jesus said it only takes faith the size of a mustard grain to move a mountain. Unfortunately, the Christians in the Roman Colosseum didn't have this amount of faith to produce a full scale excavation of a mountain or even kill their lion foe. Perhaps they only had faith the size of a proton. Anyway, come to the Roman Colosseum for major Christian blood spilling fun for only $9.99 per seat! Bring the family! Complimentary sweets not included. Sponsored by Roman entertainment co.