Jokes of any Sort.

World Economic Summit" During a World Economic Summit, Barack Obama, Mexican President Enrique Pena Nieto, Russian President Vladimir Putin, and French President Francois Hollande are ceremonially riding in Japan's newest bullet train. As you might know all of these political leaders have big egos and this is what ensued. Barack Obama says "This is a fine bottle of wine Francois" Upon hearing this President Francois Hollande throws out a case of France's finest wine and says "In France fine wine is bountiful and plenty!" Not to be outdone by Vladimir Putin who then throws out two cases of Russia's finest Vodka "In Russia premier vodka spirits flow like the Volga River" President Obama not wanting to seem weak, thinks for a moment, looks at Mexican president Enrique Pena Nieto, and throws him out the window. Love at the White House: Mr. and Mrs. President come home to the White House after a Democratic dinner party and Mr. President is very tense. Mrs. President feels sorry for him and pours him a glass of brandy. She takes him by the hand and leads him to the fireplace where a fire is crackling beautifully. Mrs. President sits in a chair with Mr. Presidents brandy without giving it to him as she unclasps her dress exposing her full supple breasts. She puts her finger in the brandy, swirls it around then rubs the brandy on her nipple. Mrs. President begins to moan softly as her nipples become erect. Mr. President likes what he sees and kneels in front of Mrs. President and gently starts to lick the brandy off her nipples. Mrs. President moans louder as she lays her head back in pleasure. Mr. President moves his hand down to the bottom of her dress and lifts it up to surprisingly find Mrs. President wearing no underwear and her well shaven lips are moist from excitement. Mr. President uses his finger to open her luscious flower and plays with her erect hood while still tonguing her nipples. Mrs. President is squirming with desire. No longer can Mr. President contain himself so he takes out his throbbing member and slowly slides it into Mrs. President's wetness. Mr. President starts to thrust harder and harder watching Mrs. President's breasts bounce with every force. Mr. President sucks on Mrs. President's nipples as he pushes himself inside her deeper and deeper causing Mrs. President to intensely climax. Mr. President becomes ultimately excited by his wife's climatic moans and peaks with her. As they both reach their zenith together, they hold each other closely. Mr. President stayed inside Mrs. President laying his head on her breasts while he softened. They both kissed each other and exchanged I love you. Mrs. President asks, How do you feel Mr. President sir? Mr. President replies,? I feel so good I think I may actually side with the Republicans? Q: What does Simba and Obama have in common? A: One is an African Lion and the other one is a lyin African! Q: Did you hear about Obama's plan to end unemployment? A: He's gonna expand the NBA to 32,000 teams! Q: What is the difference between Obama and Jesus? A: Jesus can put a cabinet together Ok A change of pace. Three men , a Canadian, Osama Bin Ladin and President Bush are out walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. "I will give each of you one wish, that's three wishes total," says the Genie. The Canadian says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada. With a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' the land in Canada was forever made fertile for farming. Usama Bin Ladin was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Afghanistan, so that no infidels can come into our precious state." Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' there was a huge wall around Afghanistan. President Bush, asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall." The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 15,000 feet high, 500 feet thick and completely surrounds the country; nothing can get in or out---virtually impenetrable." President Bush says, "Very impressive. Fill it with water." Math Lesson A ten-year-old Jewish boy was failing math. His parents tried everything from tutors to hypnosis, not to mention summer school -- all to no avail. Finally, at the insistence of a family friend, they decided to enroll their son in a private Catholic school. After the first day, the boy's parents were surprised when he walked in after school with a stern, focused and very determined expression on his face. He went straight past them, right to his room and quietly closed the door. For two hours he toiled away in his room -- with math books strewn about his desk and the surrounding floor. He emerged long enough to eat, and after quickly cleaning his plate, went straight back to his room, closed the door and worked feverishly at his studies until bedtime. This pattern of behavior continued until it was time for the first quarter's report card. The boy walked in with it unopened -- laid it on the dinner table and went straight to his room. Cautiously, his mother opened it and, to her amazement, she saw the red 'A' under the subject of Math. Overjoyed, she and her husband rushed into their son's room, thrilled at his remarkable progress. "Was it the nuns that did it?" the father asked. The boy shook his head and said "No." "Was it the one-to-one tutoring? The peer-mentoring?" "No." "The textbooks? The teachers? The curriculum?" "No," said the son, "on that first day, when I walked in the front door and saw that Guy nailed to the plus(cross) sign, I KNEW they meant business!" "R" rated. Q: Whats a condom and a coffin got in common? A: They both hold stiffs but one is cumin and one is going! That's it folks. Have fun. By the way, nice jokes to my opponent. :)