Mario is un-Buddhist

The Con has forfeited the round, but I must say that I have had an epiphany recently, and the entire premise of this debate is unsound, at this point. So I am conceding. The truth is, I was angry at Mario. I wanted to shame him, publicly (puglicly), and so I childishly and ignorantly slandered him in a public forum. I was hurt, wounded, and feeling like I needed revenge on the hours of pain he caused me, so I did what normal ignorant people do: I accused him of unBuddhishesness. For this, I apologize to Mario, and I apologize to the good people at DDO. Make no mistake --- Mario is, in fact, a good Buddhist. He is sincere, kind, compassionate and possesses an inner calm and strength that most mortals will never attain. His seeming "violence" can be understood in the context of the Mahayana Buddhist teaching on upaya, or skillful means. Even the Bodhisattva Manjushri carries a sword --- yet far from being a material sword to cut flesh, it is a sword of wisdom (prajna), used to cut down delusions. When it is realized that Goombas, Growmeba's, Grunts, Guardian Shroobs, Gubis, Gulpits and Greapers are all symbolic of the network of our false imaginations, then the true visage of Mario as the awakened Sicilian Buddha becomes clear and bright --- like the full moon freeing itself from passing clouds. Mario, like Manjushri, jumps upon the heads of ignorance and delusion, casting their pixeled visages to the netherworld. He shoots the fireballs of wisdom out of his belly-button, knocking down the invasive clouds of wayward thoughts. He dons the raccoon ears of compassion, allowing him to soar in the skies of uttermost tranquility. I view Mario as one of the nirmanakaya, or manifestation bodies of the cosmic Buddha, designed to lead all sentient beings to unsurpassed, perfect awakening. He causes the turtles of arrogance, pride and hate to retreat back into their shells after he jumps on them, then he hits them again, making them fly back and forth, destroying all other enemies into their path. And sometimes this method can also destroy those blocks that are in your way --- just be sure to jump over them when they come back, or they'll knock you out. While eating Cheerios at the landramat, I had a vision of Mario seated upon a lotus blossom of infinite splendor, with five kinds of light shining out of his forehead: blue, red, teal, egg-shell white and golden brown (sort of like a waffle that came just out of the toaster). He opened his mouth and out flew a shiny gargoyle, glimmering like a field of bedewed grass, caressed by pure, morning light. Mario was being fanned by Luigi and that little Mushroom guy, and Peach was behind him with a silvery umbrella, keeping the sun off his purty little head. Beneath his feet was Val Kilmer dressed as Browser, bound by iron chains and guarded by two fat pugs. The pugs were so fat, in fact, that at first I thought they were just big boulders, but then I saw their little smooshed faces and I knew: fat pugs! However, it is never a good idea to overfeed your animals. Animals can be subject to diabetes, high blood pressure/cholesterol and heart trouble due to obesity, just like people. They do not have a good sense of proportion in their eating habits, and therefore it is our duty to make sure they eat healthily. Sometimes we need to harden our hearts against them when they sit in front of us, wining and begging for one of our fettucini alfredo noodles. It is for their own good. http://www.youtube.com...