Story Writing Debate (see rules for genre)

The Walking Nightmare Chapter I: Alarm(Dream)NO!….PLEASE DON’T HURT ME!…..I’LL GIVE YOU ANYTHING YOU WANT!….PLEASE LET ME GO!....”NOOOO!” “Honey wake up it’s just a dream” “WHAT! WHAT IT IS” “You were just dreaming again is it still about your case” “Jenny, I have to find this girl it has been two weeks without a single lead how can someone kidnap a girl in the middle of the night without anyone waking up or even a fingerprint.” “I don’t know,” “I’m starting to think that we will find her dead in a ditch.” “Don’t talk like that; I know you will find her”“Thanks I really needed to hear that”“Try to get some sleep”Hello my name is Jake Zimmer I am a detective for the Chicago Police Department, I’m married to Jenny Zimmer and I don’t sleep. I worked by tail off to get where I’m at, seven years of hard work as a Police officer to finally become the youngest detective in my department, did I mention that I am only twenty-seven, yes that young. You are probably wondering why I don’t sleep well it all started when I got my first case, a kidnapping of an African girl living in a working class home without any traceable evidence. I kept on having dreams about her watching someone drag her from her bed, out of her small four room apartment and someone torturing her and killing her, it was so graphic and realistic I just couldn’t sleep. But, one horrifying morning changed my life.BLEEP….BLEEP…Click “Ah..hum”“Time to get up”“Just give me five minutes”“Well you got to hurry or you are going to be late for work I have pancakes downstairs when you are ready”“O…..k”I dragged myself out of bed. Went into the bathroom shaved and took a shower then got dressed and went down stairs. I turned on Fox News as I poured myself I glass of coffee.“Breaking News on the kidnap case of Cali Owens the girl who was kidnapped out of her family’s apartment we will send it over to Pam with the latest”“Thanks Mark around 2:30 a.m. last night a highway patrol officer spotted a blood stain on the side of the road, he went to check on the matter and found a trail of blood leading to the edge of road and saw a body in the underbrush bellow it has been confirmed that it is the body of Cali Owens the missing girl we will keep you updated on this breaking news back to you Mark”“Thanks Pam you know sometimes it isn’t always a happy ending”I dropped my cup of coffee and turned on the T.V. and ran to my car in angry drove to the station where I meet up with the Sherriff.“HOW IN THE HELL did you not call me! I am the detective on this case any new evidence you should call me first.”“Calm down Jake, I did call you first you just didn’t answer your cell.”“Sorry it has just been so stressful.”“No need for apology, I understand.”“So what it the latest”“Well it looks like she was killed a few days ago and she was tortured by a large knife or machete the killing strike was across her throat.”“How many times was she cut”“Around forty-five”“Wow”“Take the day off we have it covered it has been a long case”“Ok”I went home exhausted, confused, angry, almost every emotion at once. I went to my closet to put away my clothes when I found a bloody machete sitting there with dry blood on it.