Resolved: Only cool animals should be protected under the endangered species act.

My argument:There are several dozen animals on the endangered species list, some of which include the Chinese Giant Salamander, the kakapo, the saiga, the goliath frog, the malaysian tapir, the catarina pupfish, and several other animals you probably never heard of. http://en.wikipedia.org...There are a ton of animals on the endangered species list that youve never heard of, because the Endangered Species Act is hipster like that, and everyone knows that Hipsters are f*cking annoying. To the main point.... Who is the government to decide which species people care about? Whats next, Congress will decide which video games people like or which singers are important? When the Endangered species act was signed in 1973, Nixon and all of Congress made the mistake in thinking that people cared about ALL endangered animals. Nixon though wasnt exactly the best judge of what people would or wouldnt care about (Watergate, Vietnam, Hippies), and weve had to suffer from him being disconnected from the public ever since. I know its shocking to think there was once a time when Republican politicians were disconnected from reality, but that was the case back in the 1970's.So why should only cool animals be protected under the endangered species act? Because your money shouldnt be spent to protect animals you didnt know existed, and the only animals that people know exist that are on the endangered list are animals that people think are cool. Why spend money on things people dont care about when we already dont spend money on things people DO care about? That just doesnt make sense! Theres also no real loss from protecting animals that people dont know exist, because if they did something useful or important, then people would know about them and therefore would care about those animals, because those animals do something cool that helps people. ===================================================================1) Sunglasses"The truth is that Imabench (What a silly name!) would consider an animal 'cool' if it was a 'footy fanatic' or could do something really neat with its belly button"Of course not, the only animals I consider to be cool are animals that would look good wearing sunglasses. Hence why the title of this argument is 'Sunglasses'2) how to not have a brain"Everyone knows that animals are dead stupid"Dont compare animals to Republicans just because both are dead stupid, thats an insult to the good name of animals!All animals have some noble characteristics that make them cool even though they arent as smart as people.- House cats rule over the internet while Lions have given us 'The Lion King', the greatest movie ever- Horses are great racers, and Sarah Jessica parker actually is an iconic actress- Birds like Eagles and Falcons are symbols of national pride and dont sh*t on our cars like crows doMoney"If we just let all the animals die, then nobody will have to give away any of their wonga and everyone will live on piles of money and be very happy."Yeah they will, when you cut government spending in one place they end up just spending that money on something else even stupider, like their own salaries, or tax cuts for the rich, or to keep paying off the media so they dont admit that Obama actually lost Ohio.... I dont think ALL animals should be protected, just ones that people care about, aka the cool ones. Shut Up"Everyone knows that whenever there is an annoying program thing such as the endangered species act, there are always these annoying activists who always have to bug us normal people who still have wonga in our wallets." 'money' isnt a curse word that if you say it three times in your bathroom mirror a ghost will appear or something..."If we just let the animals die, then these shouty dimwits will be non-existent when I go to the shop to buy some well-earned sweets."They wont not exist, they'll be more pissed off then ever!!! If polar bears and whales died we would never hear the end of it from activists, but do you think people will be up in arms over whether or not the West Virginian blue shelled snail went extinct? Of course not, because the West Virginia blue shelled snail isnt cool like whales or polar bears are. Let em be"I can't remember the last time an animal launched a program to help us humans, so I don't see why we should help those boring beasts."Well f*ck you for thinking that BACON ISNT IMPORTANTYeah thats right, BACON. In 1980 in response to the Endangered Species Act, pigs launched the most successful recycling program ever made, the conversion of apples, INTO BACON. Helping animals has yielded immense benefits to humanity, and we cant turn our backs on them just because PRO THINKS BACON IS STUPID. Risking it"For all we know, they will adapt and evolve into super robots beyond the moon who want to take over the world and we'll be too inept to stop and then there'll be injustice forever"Youre thinking of Transformers not animals.BUT IF WHAT HUH?!"I say that 'cool' animals should simply be left to die. I know from experience that 'cool' beings are jerks that steal your chips and tie your shoelaces together. "Well thats because you wore a stupid a** shirt to school. Anybody who is a fan of one direction deserves to get their chips stolen and their shoes tied together, now get rid of the shirt before we shove a urinal cake in your mouth, got it?