Resolved: Ireland Does not Exist

OpeningThank you, Pro, for offering your opening arguments in this serious debate. Looking Into the Existence of Ireland (LIE of Ireland for short) My first argument in the LIE of Ireland is the numerous amounts of serpents it had: “No country in Europe is so associated with the Serpent as Ireland, and none has so many myths and legends connected with the same...” 1(Irish Druids and Old Irish Religions, James Bronwick, 1984). Now that we have proven that many magical serpents did exist in ancient Ireland, let us bring the next premise: St. Patrick St. Patrick was fed up with all the snakes (2). Being so frustrated, he banished all of the snakes from Ireland. Now that I have proven that St. Patrick banished all of the magical snakes from Ireland, and the proof of that is that magical snakes no longer exist in Ireland, then the only way that is possible is if Ireland really does exist. My second argument in the LIE of Ireland is the existence of angels: 8 out of 10 people in American believe in angels (3). Since America is awesome, and this is prima facie true ('MERICA!), we know that whatever they believe in must be true. Even if their beliefs aren't correct, faith blocks out evidence anyway. And since 80 percent of Americans believe in angels, and as we know from Richie Rich's Christmas Wish (4), there is a magical force that collects all of people's wishes and desires and makes them true. Therefore angels exist. Interestingly, Ireland holds many tales of fairies. But, what are fairies? The Irish believed that the fairies were the fallen angels that were cast down from heaven (5). Therefore, since the belief of fairies/fallen angels originates from Ireland, and since many Americans believe in fairies/angels, then Ireland must exist to have provided this tautology. My third argument in the LIE of Ireland is Colin O' Donoghue (6) A.K.A Hook from Once Upon a Time: This is a picture of Colin in character as Captain Hook in OUAT: There is no debate to the sexiness that is Colin O' Donoghue. What is in contention, is where that sexiness comes from. When looking at the physiology of human organisms, the environment affects the phenotype (7). Now, when looking at the sexiness that is Colin O' Donoghue, one must realize that no country on this planet could have crafted such a magnificent phenotype as this one. Only such a land as Ireland could have created this beautiful bae. Rebuttals: My opponent tries to use the handsome David Tennant for evil. David Tennant, A.K.A the Tenth Doctor (8), is one of many in a line of regenerations. As my opponent has proven David's existence with the gif, one must acknowledge the evidence of all of his previous generations. This link (9) provides references for previous incarnations of the doctor having been to Ireland. Since they have been to Ireland, and since we know that they don't drink alcohol, as that would offend the censors, and since we also know that the Doctor is never wrong, Ireland definitely exists. This effectively negates my opponent's first two arguments, which leaves the last: That Ireland couldn't exist anyway, as it would be made up of separate counties, and they could not collectively claim ownership of the entire Ireland. My opponent's argument would effectively demolish all of human civilization. She argues against property, namely that humans cannot claim ownership over land. This claim was made by Pierre-Joseph Proudhon in his book “What is Property?” (10). Proudhon was one of the first anarchists, and laid much of the groundwork for anarchist philosophy. By my opponent denying the principle of land ownership, and the ability to craft an idealistic entity of “government” or “land boundaries” then all of the current state of affairs of the human society is illegitimate. I don't think that my opponent is willing to maintain this position in order to maintain the resolution. If she is, I ask that she provide further arguments for the anarchist's position, showing that government is inherently corrupt, and that we should live in a world without borders. Conclusion: I have provided impressive and challenging arguments for my opponent, and I have effectively demolished two of her arguments, while awaiting on her position against my rebuttal of her third. I eagerly await her responses. Thank you all for reading this round, and good luck to my opponent! Cheers! http://atlanticreligion.com... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Patrick#St._Patrick_banishes_all_snakes_from_Ireland http://www.cbsnews.com... http://www.imdb.com... http://www.sacred-texts.com... https://en.wikipedia.org... http://www.nature.com... https://en.wikipedia.org... http://tardis.wikia.com... http://theanarchistlibrary.org...