Bullying is a good and essential aspect of childhood and should not be abolished

Stuhan, thanks for joining. You make a very thoughtful argument. My point is that the act of bullying is not a right thing to do. Nor that it should be tolerated when bullies are caught bullying. However, I disagree with the approach that seems to be so prevalent in society that is weighted so heavily against the act of bullying in its messaging. As a parent I of course don't want my kids to suffer abusive bullying, but assuming that they will encounter some degee of it I want to make sure they are equipped to handle it, and aware of the avenues to solve the problem. To your point about the the bully's aim, "to make someone feel lesser;" a bully can tell when they are effective by whether or not they can evoke the desired response. Either they become more empowered or... The target can choose to face the bully and respond otherwise. I think that the strength of the target to face the adversary is more worthy of merit than the strength of the bully to bully in the first place. To give a couple personal examples. I've had a stepdad since I was four, and growing up always perceived that he was a bully to me. Especially as he was not my real dad. He always tried to get a rise out of me, pointed out my short comings, and he was a big big strong guy and very brutish. None of my peers could compare to his constant "bullying" in terms of the behavior. What I've only come to learn as an adult is that my stepdads "bullying" different because of the difference of intent. He loved me. He did not push me around or poke fun to make me feel lesser and hence make himself feel superior. He challenged me to stay strong, to fight back, to have confidence. As a man, I know no one on this Earth has the power to hurt my feelings. I have control of my own self. As a parent now, my wife and I both being very strong personalities do not coddle our older kids, but challenge them and empower them much the same way. I also would point out that for the bully, there is a lesson that can be very valuable, when faced with an unwilling victim. I was not often bullyish myself as a kid, but I remember one time when a buddy of mine was trying pretty successfully to get friendly with a young girl. We were middle school age and I thought I was the better of the two of us but did not have the courage to make advances myself and was jealous. So of course being a dumb kid I started bullying my friend and picking on him pretty relentlessly. Well, his folks had prepared him well and he was also pretty sharp at seeing the reason for my behavior. He took it for a bit, but finally really let me have it verbally. He was dead honest and without fear. He made me see the weakness in myself, and forced me to see how wrong I had been. I learned a valuable lesson in empathy by being a bully to the wrong guy. Our generation was different though. There certainly was not a nation wide campaign to stomp out bullying, it was looked at as being part of growing up. Isn't the world and life the ultimate bully? It tries... Sometimes really hard to break your spirit. My point is that the normal testing that kids do helps prepare us to face challenges that inevitably come our way. I want everyone to have the freedom and power that comes from meeting these types of challenges by courage and wisdom to see that they DO NOT HAVE TO LET ANYONE have power to make them feel lesser.