The U.S. Congress should be replaced with monkeys

Pro will note that I asked in the comments if I could accept, but actually did accept before he replied. The reason is that I couldn't resist, as I am in need of a "fun" debate. It's been a while since I've had a lighthearted debate, and I look forward to the opportunity to do it again.Pro's resolution is that the U.S. Congress should be replaced with monkeys. As Con must argue against this notion. I wholeheartedly agree with the points that Pro made. Congress, especially the current one, has shown itself to be quite inept and lacking in intelligence and common sense. But I must argue that they should NOT be replaced with monkeys, and I shall do so becuase of one simple reason: they already ARE monkeys!! Let's examine the general behavioral patterns of monkeys, and find out why replacing Congress with them would be an unnecessary waste of time and money.1. Closed groups- Most monkeys live in separate social groups with limited contact with members of other groups. But if there is contact, then it is either friendly, or extremely violent. [1] This by itself bears resemblance to the typical behavior of Congress, does it not? As we debate, our government has shut down, and look at the results- the Republicans refuse to associate with the hypocritical Democrat scum, and the Democrats refuse to associate with the bigoted Republican scum! 2. Speech- The best monkeys can do in the way of vocal communication is "complicated" lip movement, particularly the smacking of lips, as well as a certain "moaning", which some seemingly desperate scientists say indicates an ancestral relation to human speech. [2] [3] I invite anyone reading to hit YouTube and watch filibusters or an impassioned speech from a Democrat. Would many people not describe it as ceaseless moaning? The most common thing people say when someone of an opposing party gets through speaking is "aaw, that was nothin' but mindless drivel." There you have it- what person would not agree that any speech done by someone from an opposing political party was just "mindless moaning and lip-smacking"?? 3. What is a congress? A group of baboons! Baboons are perhaps the loudest, most obnoxious and least intelligent of all primates, and a gathering of them is called a congress! So we see that 1. Monkeys live in separate groups where conflict with other groups is common, 2. that monkeys can at best speak by just smacking their lips, and 3. that a group of them is called a congress. What further proof do we need that the people in Congress are already monkeys, and that replacing them would simply be a waste of time? If you really want to replace the members of conflict with animals, then there is one species we have not considered. Why not replace them with- PARROTS! Compare parrots to monkeys! Parrots are generally very social, and will normally interact with other types of birds without incident. Also, you can teach parrots to talk! Of course, with all parrots, vocabulary is limited, but from what we've seen in Congress, there wouldn't be much difference, would there? Finally, I think "flock" sounds much better than "congress," doesn't it? So, I have attempted to refute the notion that Congress should not be replaced with monkeys on the grounds that they already are! I look forward to danielawesome12's next argument, and would like to thank him for the opportunity to debate. [1] http://anthro.palomar.edu...[2] http://news.discovery.com...[3] http://www.livescience.com...[4] http://en.wikipedia.org...