Resolved: the Zombie Apocalypse Will Happen

Wow, last round..... okay.... here I go.... >Death My opponent states that brain death qualifies as death because everything that defines "you" as a human being disappears once your brain dies, even if the rest of your body is still functioning. But this contradicts the definition of death, which is "Having lost life; no longer alive" http://us.yhs4.search.yahoo.com... Since this is the case, I see no reason to further elaborate as to why I am correct, and my opponent is incorrect in this instance. However, just to make it absolutely clear that my opponent is incorrect in this instance, I would like to call to everyone's attention all the people who have genetic disabilities, such as muscular dystrophy or Trisomy 23. They are people who are fully alive; in fact, the only thing wrong with them is that they have brains that don't function fully the way they should. If braindead people are considered "dead" then these people should be too, since they don't behave the way other humans do, fully in control of their bodies. Therefore, the virus that Pro suggested would not work in causing a proper zombie apocalypse. >Biting My apologies to Pro's kitty (poor kitty D:), but I believe my argument still stands. If a cat, which is already domesticated, (assuming kitty struggled against Pro when he tried to bite kitty), wasn't the happiest of animals when attacked by teeth, then why would humans be, especially by the teeth of creatures who smell really bad and aren't our friends who provide us with food, water, and shelter? Pro argues that a lot of diseases, such as HIV, thrive quite well, though they are hard to transmit, so why won't the zombie disease? Well, if you take into consideration that HIV could be transmitted through blood donations or sex, then the answer is obvious. HIV is transmitted through acts of pleasure (sex) or acts of kindness (blood donations). However, the zombie virus is transmitted through biting, which is from a slow-moving decomposing human. Clearly, this is not the same as how rabies are transmitted. Usually, it would be an accidental bite from a pet to an unsuspecting owner, or a wild animal only trying to protect itself. Why would humans just hang around zombies so they can be bitten? Pro also argues that the effects of decomposition would be insignificant, but decomposition starts as soon as an organism dies, so the zombie actually would, in fact, display advanced levels of decomposition and death. Therefore, humans would be unlikely to be bitten. >Decomposition Pro says that my decomposition argument doesn't pose a threat to the possibility of a zombie apocalypse because they continue to function even after a lot of damage to their bodies. On the contrary, the fact that they don't feel pain and don't respond to the fact that they are damaging their bodies means that they could potentially just run off a cliff and break every single bone in their bodies and stop working. How does this aid the zombie apocalypse into existence? If all zombies unknowingly destroyed themselves, there would be no zombie apocalypse. >Exploding I said that *heat* would make a decomposing body explode because the bacteria inside them makes gases. When these gases are heated, they expand. As they expand, they have nowhere to go, and so the body explodes. I believe I provided this http://www.cracked.com... to explain where I got "exploding" from and why it actually could happen. >Cold Pro asserts that zombies could have a working metabolism, but this again, doesn't fit the definition of zombies, which states that they are dead. If they are dead, they cannot possibly have a *working metabolism* to fit the definition. Pro also states that they must, since they have to move or retain an upright posture. But this doesn't help his case, it only further confirms why a zombie apocalypse could not, in fact, happen. Although the cold does make humans sluggish, it also (if zombies can be reanimated in their dead state) makes zombies immobile, which makes a zombie apocalypse less likely, instead of more likely. >Predators Contrary to what my opponent thinks, a zombie apocalypse actually would not occur quickly. Why? Because they would have no way to pass on the disease (as I previously stated) in a rapid or practical manner. Therefore, the small amount of zombies would be quickly demolished by the large amount of predators out there. Pro also says that there aren't very many predators of humans. However, these predators aren't humans, they're just hunks of dead meat. Any animal, no matter how much common sense they have, will eat whatever food available to them. Flies and cockroaches eat everything, so why not other animals, concerning zombies, which are basically dead meat? >Revival I see no reason to reinstate my stance on this, seeing as I already said, viruses can only survive in live organisms, not dead things. >Guns and Economy Other countries do have guns, just less than what Americans have. Also, I believe that the armies of other countries will sufficiently take care of its citizens when need be. Even if they can't, guns aren't the only weapons people can use as protection. Knives are also a good choice, among other weapons. Since I'm running out of time again (ahhh!!!!) I'll just barely skim over this part.... People can stock up on canned foods and bottled water. Even if they die, as long as they die without being bitten, they won't turn into zombies, and zombies will cease to exist as soon as they all finish decomposing or being eaten, whichever comes first. If humans can just wait zombies out, the the apocalypse will not happen, because it wasn't enough a catastrophe to qualify. >Conclusion The zombie apocalypse will not happen. Due to shortage of time, I will not elaborate further. ************************VOTE CON!!!************************** ****If it was too long to read, here's why you should vote for me:**** 1. The zombie apocalypse is just a children's tale, created to scare little kids into behaving. There's no way it could actually happen. 2. Before there could be enough zombies to wreck Earth, they will have either destroyed themselves due to lack of common sense or decomposition/ scavengers of dead meat. 3. I am awesome. 4. For serious? If you think that a zombie can actually catch up to you, and then take a bite out of you, then you must be really unfit, sorry... 5. They would never survive nature.... it's too tough as it is, why would another organism just miraculously thrive, when so many other organism have gone extinct? 6. I'm sure I miss a bunch of other points, but.... oh, well..... life moves on, I guess..... Over to PRO! Good luck and thanks once more for accepting this debate and giving me this opportunity to learn!!! I had fun, and I hope you did too! ^_^