Troll Debate: Bob the Tomato and Larry the Cucumber are Secretly a Gay Couple

Many thanks to clownthebubba for his opening arguments.Rebuttals:Such LogoMy opponent states that a romantic couple may lean against eachother and so if Larry and Bob have leaned against eachother, then they may be a gay couple. My problem with this is mainly that, leaning doesn't exist. In order for them to lean against eachother, they would have to touch eachother. Let's define lean. Lean is slang for purple drank. Purple drank is a "concoction which includes a prescription-strength cough syrup used in a manner inconsistent with its labeling, as a recreational drug. The mixture became popular in the hip hop community in the southern United States, originating in Houston." [http://en.wikipedia.org...] Is my opponent suggesting that Larry and Bob a concoction which includes a prescription-strength cough syrup used in a manner inconsistent with its labeling, as a recreational drug. The mixture became popular in the hip hop community in the southern United States, originating in Houston against eachother, so they may be gay? This is absurd. My opponent's claim is 1/10 would not accept. many Romantic Interest My opponent's next claim is devoid of much logic. such groundless. wow.... anyway, his claim carries no logics because Larry and Bobby could very well be asexual. Ever think of that Mad Hatter? Anyway, my opponent assumes that lack of romantic interest in females equates to homosexuality. This is simply false. [http://www.physicsforums.com...] Homesexuality and heterosexuality aren't the only options. They could very well be asexual, which is having no sexual attraction to either sex, as said before. [http://en.wikipedia.org...] My opponent's contention is a very false dilemma. much assumption. so fallacy.quite Madame BlueberryMy opponent quotes Veggie Tales using wikiquote, which is a sketchy source, at best. My opponent's contention claims that if Larry-san and Bob-senpai said these things while crying, then they are probably gay. Well, my problem with this is my opponent is jumping to conclusions. In other words, he is assuming and jumping to the conclusion that them saying these things makes them gay. This is false, they have to do the sexual things to be gay. [http://www.zmescience.com...] And, obviously, since Barry and Lob don't have wieners, they can't do da gay tings. [http://www.whfoods.com...] The article says that tomatos are the "healthiest fruit in the world" and if Bob was gay, he'd probably have HIV and not be healthy [http://www.cdc.gov...]. Same with cucumbers. They are the "world's healthiest food" after all [http://www.whfoods.com...]. many VoicesMy opponent contends that if Larry and Bob have voices that are higher than usual, then they must be gay. However, this such false. many false. very false. wow. Anyway, it's false because wikipedia says, "Bobby is usually the "straight man" in his partnership with Larry the Cucumber (the "Costello" of the pair), as they introduce many of the stories at the beginning and wrap-up the Biblical lesson at the end of most of the shows" [http://en.wikipedia.org...]. If that isn't proof that Bob is straight and therefore not gay, I don't know what is.very NakedMy opponent's next contention states that since Larry and Bob are naked most of the time when they are around eachother, then they must be gay. However, my problem with this is that.... it's much false. very presuming. not very wow. I could easily spend my time around another man without clothes and not be attracted to him or turn gay. Like I said before, gay marriage doesn't exist [http://www.zmescience.com...]. And, I am straight [http://www.debate.org...], just like Bob-senpai and Larry-san, because they are good Christians who hate homogays [http://biblehub.com...]. As the word of our good Lord says, "'If a man has sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They are to be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads." And, obviously Lawrence and Robert are good Christians and haven't committed suicide. Therefore, they are straight. Much thanks.