Troll Debate On CHEEZ-ITS!

Oh dear! It seems our good friend Cheesedingo has failed to respond in time. Oh dear, oh dear! I guess I must leave without him in this embarking upon a grand adventure in which we shall explore the depths of the human psyche as we debate the proper etiquete upon eatting a box (or bag, if you do not have either the time and/or the stomach capacity and/or the appetite) of Cheezits. Alas, the thought-train has left without him, and he will have to catch up with us at a later stop. We must keep moving, or we shall be lost in the depths of paranoia and insanity (case in point made with the example of FREEDO). Here I shall adress 3 different points that shall uphold my end of the spectrum and prove that the finer approach is best when devouring a box of cheezits. >> POINT 1: DON'T BE A SLOB! <<Let's consider two hypothetical situations for a moment. Person A is sitting on the couch with person B and highly attractive Lady C. Person A grabs a box of cheezits and pulls out a massive fist-full of them, stuffing them in his face and chewing very sloppily and noisily (as one would do so with a mouth full of Cheezits). Person A then attempts to pull "The Move" on Lady C, but is only spurned for his efforts because he looks like a fat slob who eats food all day and doesn't want to be seen cuddling with such a man. Person B, however, picks up a single piece of Cheezits and makes light conversation with Lady C instead. He is able to enjoy the snack while still making enjoyable conversation with Lady C. Phone numbers are exchanged soon after that, and they start dating two weeks after that same evening. What is the difference between the two situations? Person A, who is represented by CHEESEDINGO in this debate, took a fat handful of them and never got any action from Lady C, who was the end goal of eatting the large quantity of Cheezits, and sat at home alone. Person B, who is represented by myself in this debate, took only a single Cheezit at a time, and received a girlfriend for doing so since he did not appear to be a slob. The lesson to be learned from this is: eat cheezits singly, and get attractive women to date you. Seems legit. Anyway, moving forward now. >> POINT 2: YOU GOTTA BE CLASSY LIKE! <<How many times have you ever seen someone who acts like a complete fatty and have any sort of class? None? Never? That's what I thought. In order to be successful in life, you have to have class. And you can't have class if you're shoving your face full of snacks like some sort of animal. Eatting Cheezits one at a time, however, has extreme amounts of class to them, rivaling the British and their sexy accents in classiness. The lesson to be learned here is eatting cheezits singly will give you a British accent. And since we all know British accents are highly classy and attractive, we all naturally want British accents. >> POINT 4: SYLLOGISM FOR EATTING SINGLE PIECES! <<P1: We want to be awesome. P2: We don't want to be slobs. P3: Chuck Norris will hate you if you are a slob. C1: You do not want Chuck Norris to hate you. P4: Eatting Cheezits single doesn't make you a slob. P5: Eatting Cheezits by the fistful makes you a slob. P6: We want to avoid acting slobbish. C2: We don't want to eat cheezits by the fistful, since it would incur the wrath of Chuck Norris. This syllogism is backed up by my opponent's masculinity. If he attempts to refute this syllogism, he refutes his own manhood, and concedes that he sh! ts rainbows and sings soprano in the gayest way.