Rap Battle.

Haha - nice verse - you must be MC Peter Pan The only place you'd get with Vi is Never Never Land Tonight when she's with me you'll be enjoying your right hand Just close your eyes and wrap around - elastic rubber bands O.M.G I'm M.V.P and you're just sitting in the stands Too blind to see it clearly that you'd never stand a chance Sit like a paraplegic; I ride her like Tour de France with Lance Now quick go get a tissue; you've got some white stuff on your pants But hey that's not the issue; I don't mean to F-up your plans It's just that I'm a cool cat and you're as damn square as a dance She read that verse and inevitable hysterical laughter ensued Then said your rap's forgettable; just ask her - she snoozed So I told her what it said; so regrettable and amused Then excused ourselves to bed to have our fluids transfused She couldn't refuse so she gave me head and I made her feel used But don't be confused; as we ooze'd she was more than enthused See I know exactly how to please her; I'm a woman connoisseur You could only tease her so stick to jizzing in your drawers Or better yet why don't you go and brush up on your calculus Did some hip-hop dialysis and came up with this analysis: Like a dumbell I'll grab you; raise you up like Lazarus And yes I just compared myself to Jesus of Nazareth I'll go to hell but all is well if you could just imagine this The devil himself would shake and say "I gotta get you outta this" Cuz my rhymes are official; hotter than 1 million degrees Your initial come back's superficial like artificial "cheese" So smile for this Kodak moment, then I'll rattle you like a disease Took this battle and with my chattel I'm gonna own it indeed Please, like cattle your grazed rhymes are hardly worth my time I'm blazed and I'm fine; In many ways I'm a 9 My words are appraised; they're amazed, it's a sign The stakes are raised and after days the win's mine You're rounding the first corner, I'm at the finish line My temper's getting warmer as I listen to you whine "Oh, you're so fake, and I've got such a big vocabulary" Shut up or I'll bust your nuts with the force of the constabulary Assuming that you had some; they probably haven't fallen I'll eat your rhymes for breakfast like a Buffet, Mr. Warren You're like a Gucci knock off; your entire style's stolen My girlfriend gets your rocks off like geology you just told 'em Or rather you told all of us but clearly you're mistaken She'd rather fvck a cactus even if she wasn't taken So have some sensibility and humility with your sterility And let me give you a lesson on some rapping credibility Try not to sound stupid every time you open your mouth Popping sh1t off that you know nothing about I make it rain like a storm: thunder, no doubt Your vain lyrics are dryer than a hot summer drought So here we go, come on, let's finish this out Your whack a$s dimished by me definitely no doubt Going on about your legitimacy but to me that sounds absurd too As it just occurred to me that you probably have a curfew Bad like Michael Jackson for breaking it; your mom will beat your hard a$s But she'd be glad to know you're faking it with flashcards from SAT class I mean you must be kidding if you think that your vocab impresses Your flow doesn't come close to what my own skill possesses You're stagnant, I'm progressive; Of my girlfriend you're obsessive So I'm feeling possessive and you're damn right I'll address this Not because I'm nervous but because you seem quite piteous Don't have a picture on your profile? Damn you must be quite hideous So keep it moving when you see Vi; don't think that you can hit on this I'm fastidious when I say your crap rap might as well be gibberish Ok I get it - you're literate, but when it comes to battle the readers won't consider it I'm considerate; you're an idiot; keep making false claims And dropping some names, all your lines sound the same Stating that I'm phony, so I just wanted to thank ya Got your cronie to scold me - just made you sound like such a wanksta For saying I try to be gangsta; what a stupid a$s assumption I'm Evil Kinevil and you're just a pu$$y - no gumption But I don't blame you since that's the only vag you prob know I could give you some tips but that isn't part of my job though So better get that choke hold on tribefan's d1ck and you know Start to blow but don't let him explode or he won't put it up your smoke hole You seem to think that you're so cool with your big words of polysyllables But I bring the Good Word in verse not terse but biblical You're cursed cuz you are trivial, and worse with words - that is not ill I elevate the mind with rhymes so metaphysical My analogies sensational; yours leaving them insatiable So get to work; tribefan doesn't need any more fellatio You wanna know the score well here let me give you the ratio: theLwerd - 3, you - zero, now let me dismiss you like Horatio How did you like that reference oh so Shakespearean? Damn I just keep on blowing you up like I am helium My lyrics they are so tight; everyone is feeling them All the smart ones know I'm better so it's time you start believing them I am superior to your exterior in very many ways It took me an hour to write this; sorry you needed three days So let's extract the fact that this very battle displays: The cards have been weighed and I've got the Ace of Spades It's time my chips were called in; sorry you got played Call me Michael Jordan with the way that my shots fade And just like him I'll call it quits; it's time to just retire I know it's past your bed time but as for me I am just tired Well now you know what's at (steak) so I dare you: Come and get mine But as you know my flow's (rare) so I hope for your sake there's no next time