We should elect Joseph Kony as Supreme Commander of Earth.

Introduction: I would like to humbly thank Zaradi for accepting this challenge. I am the Koopin. For many years I have cried over how horrible this system is. Every day billions of people wake up without any excitement or hope. I made this debate not as a joke, but as a solution to all our suffering. I hope that the leaders of the world will take this seriously and ask Kony to lead us all.Argument:For far to long the world has been constantly attacked by evil men. It seems that for every good person, there are two more bad ones. The world is suffering a great deal as it is now. Suddenly, there is hope. Out of the ashes has risen a great man named Joseph Kony. A man capable of leading us out of our own dark age. The world is un-united, and suffering because of it. We need to do the logical thing, which is to make the entire world one large country. This would in the end save lives, and reset the economy to a working function. I was going to make a case for there just being one leader, however my opponent is also arguing for it. He just wants a different commander. Now obviously the union of the entire planet sounds like a good idea in theory. However, there are those who only have the pleasure and success of the special interest groups in mind. We need someone who is selfless, who has a good head on his shoulder. Someone who isn't going to back down or declare random attacks on people. Could you imagine Thaddues with a nuclear weapon when he is drunk?Reasons why Joseph Kony would make a good Supreme Commander.1. Kony will not give into the selfish wants of the people. What happens when 48% of the population wants to settle Antarctica and 52% want to go to the moon instead? Chaos. The problem with society today is that some leaders want to please everyone. With Joseph Kony as the leader, no one may question him without getting an AK-47 to the face. He could make the decision, "Yes, we will go seek out revenge on camp Gingrich, let's head to the moon." Or, "Antarctica is a good place to set up a tropical resort."We wouldn't be wasting most of our lives debating over pointless issues like gay marriage and health care. Thaddeus Rivers however, cares a little to much. He still has a heart, therefore he couldn't resist listening to the single mom, or the doctor who wants more pay.2. Kony is popular and looks funny.Go ask someone on the streets, "who is Kony?" They will be able to tell you. People like him so much, they are even trying to elect him! Everywhere you look there are people saying "Kony 2012." On the other hand, go and ask random people you don't know who Thaddeus Rivers is. I have yet to see a Thaddeus Rivers 2012 sign.Go and look at Thaddeus' face. He's a good looking chap, however, his face isn't as original as Kony. Kony's face is just so funny! 3. Kony is made of magical powers.This is simple. Thaddeus is a great fellow, but doesn't have magical abilities (something that is required in a leader.) Kony on the other hand, does. He saw that the man Jason Russell made a documentary about hunting Kony. Joseph summoned magical invisible children to attack Jason Russell. Don't believe me? Go look it up on Google. He totally snapped. While he was fighting off the magic, someone was recording him. It is uploaded to the Internet, but I can't post it here because he is naked. Now, wouldn't it be great to have someone with magical powers leading us? I must stop here, for fear of going overboard. I will elaborate more in my next argument when I have my opponents statements.