Jodie Marsh is a Real American Hero

[Clarification] Hero: A person who in the opinion of others has performed a heroic act and is regarded as a model or ideal [1] Con's proposed definition of an American Hero title only being applicable to G.I. Joe's is fallacious. It draws a false conclusion upon unsound premises. For one, G.I. Joe's are fictional. For another, Con makes a hasty generalization that just because G.I. Joe's are famous American heroes, that others cannot be American heroes as well. Additionally, I'd like to clarify that JM (Jodie Marsh) can be an American hero despite not being American, because she can be considered a hero to Americans. Now onto the debate! [Rebuttal] 1. It is a widely accepted scientific fact that a person's character can be judged by the grammar and spelling of their fans. Here we have systematic proof of Jodie Marsh's idiocy. False. First, that particular fan was Slovakian (so her poor English should be excused). Can has no proof that said fan does not have excellent spelling and grammar in their native language. Second, said individual is also a fan of Led Zeppelin. If we are to accept Con's reasoning, then L.Z. would also suck. That's simply untrue (no explanation necessary). 2. JM sucks the blood from our brains. False. First, I posit that while it's possible JM can cause men to get boners, so can Mother Teresa (hey - some people are into that). Does that mean that Mother Teresa is also inherently bad? Certainly not. Thus, just because a woman causes a guy to become erect doesn't necessarily mean that she's bad. In fact, this is usually regarded as a positive thing. I argue that if JM did cause men to get an erection, then she WOULD be a hero to a man with erectile dysfunction. This especially applies to a couple trying to conceive, or a sad relationship where one couldn't get their male partner hard. Some need a little encouragement. Moreover, this can easily be refuted by Con's simple mistake (it's a pity he doesn't know the biology of the male anatomy) -- You don't lose blood from the brain when getting an erection. When a man is sexually stimulated, chemical signals from the brain cause the penile arteries to widen, allowing more blood to enter the erectile bodies known as the corpora cavernosa. The tissues swell with blood causing an erection. At the same time, the blood-engorged tissues compress the veins, keeping blood in the penis and maintaining the erection. However, in no way is blood being deprived from the brain that otherwise should have been there. This point also doesn't take female excitement into consideration (not that one in their right mind would be turned on by JM). 3. JM and the Bible. False. Everybody knows that the Bible is infallible. As such, it's obvious to anyone who knows the Bible that the only reason that the devil even exists and continues to exist is because of God's will. As such, if we are to believe Con that Jodie Marsh gets her power directly from the devil, and the devil only has power because God allows it, then Jodie Marsh is actually a product of God meaning that she's perfect and has power for a reason (since Con cannot deny the Bible's message that God is omniscient, omnipotent and omnibenevolent. [Arguments] 1. Inspiration. Americans are stupid, and Jodie Marsh proves that even ugly and stupid girls can become successful. She's a great role model in this regard, which I would clearly label a heroic act. She sacrifices her own credibility and reputation just to set an example for other dumb sluts to follow. 2. Honesty. The truth is sacred. Jodie Marsh outed her Big Brother cast-mate Chantelle Houghton by telling a journalist that CH was really a lesbian who married for publicity. This was awesome for the gay community, and saved the proverbial life of CH's husband... a hero indeed, Marsh is! 3. Cleverness. JM is rich and famous despite having absolutely no talent or marketable skills. As such, this proves that she is an incredibly smart and crafty individual who knows how to earn a living despite being gutter trash. 4. Super-Powers and Heroic Contributions. Jodie Marsh's fake tits are made of saline - not silicone. Saline has many useful abilities, such as replacing plasma. Thus, if someone were going to die due to a blood condition, JM could single handedly save their life simply by cutting off her tits. Additionally, say JM was on board an airplane and the lone pilot's contact somehow came out. The only way the plane could successfuly land would be if the pilot could somehow reapply his contact without it being too dry and also cleaned. Well, once again, JM could save a life by providing saline solution to the pilot, thus not only saving one but a whole bunch of lives! 5. Health Benefits. Many men (and women) beat off to JM, and a select few ONLY fap to her photos. Masturbating has many health benefits, including - but not limited to - stress reduction, release of the brain's opioid-like neurotransmitters (endorphins), which cause feelings of physical and mental well-being, sleep aid, muscle relaxation, etc. In addition, masturbating has also been linked with reducing the symptoms of PMS. I happen to have PMDD (severe PMS), so, if myself or other women masturbated to miss JM, it would greatly benefit our partners and prevent them from enduring our wrath. This is yet another heroic ability of JMs. Conclusion: I have negated all of Con's premises, and provided 5 irrefutable premises of my own supporting the resolution. Vote Pro! Definition: [1] http://dictionary.reference.com...