Kids should not believe in Santa Claus. (joke debate)

I accept this troll debate and I intend to prove that Kids should believe in Santa. First I will respond to the Pro's arguments. 1) "Santa Claus is a poor role model for kids as jumping into a chimney is going to cause third degree burns and also damage the chimney" First off, fire is the only proven cause of third degree burns, going down a chimney is not a cause of third degree burns, or any kind of burn for that matter. Secondly, I think jumping down a chimney is a GREAT thing to look up to. Hell Felix Baumgartner jumped off a metal death trap 24 miles up in the air and somehow survived, if jumping down a chimney makes you a bad role model, then what Felix Baumgartner did would make him HITLER. And Guess what, FELIX BAUMGARTNER WAS ACTUALLY BORN IN AUSTRIA!!! http://en.wikipedia.org... In fact, Felix Baumgartner went on record saying "you can't move anything in a democracy" and later even said that he would opt for a "moderate dictatorship" So there you have it. If you think jumping down a chimney makes someone a bad role model, then by extension you think that Felix Baumgartner is the reincarnation of Adolf Hitler. 2) "Second, Santa Claus creates fear in children as he somehow knows all their names. That is an unnecessary scare to children." Oh thats bullsh*t.... You can get just about anyones name from either Facebook, Google, or Apple because people CHOOSE to put their personal information out there for everyone to see. I found out that my moderately hot neighbor was eating a bagel at Panera Bread Yesterday at exactly 3:37 pm because she told everyone that via facebook. People post this kind of information to the public all the time, all Santa is doing is paying attention to whatever you post, like a non-sexual stalker.... 3) "Third, Santa is EVIL. He chops the heads off the naughty people, and also has a too high standard for the person to enter the nice list" And what the hell is wrong with that? If someone is being a complete douchbag for an entire year I think society would agree that that person deserves to get his head chopped off...... Along with their balls. Also that part about Santa setting too high of a standard for people to be on the nice list can be fixed with a simple software update, or a well aimed bazooka too. Wait a second, this Santa youre referring to is a robot that wont be invented until the year 3000, which is 990 years from now, so why the hell should we worry about it now? 4) "Forth, Santa uses midgets as slave labor. That is a poor role model!" F*CK YOU AND EVERYTHING YOU LIVE FOR, THEY ARE ELVES NOT MIDGETS YOU F*CKER. What kind of f*cked up life do you live where elves are midgets in your eyes? That is an insult to both midgets and elves, you probably should get your head chopped off by Santa for being so racist to people.... Yes Elves are people too, but im guessing youd disagree because youre a racist f*ck..... On another note, elves have very limited job opportunities in life. There are 2 and only 2 career choices that elves have, they can make toys for Santa up at the North Pole safe from any threats, or they can bake cookies in trees and light their a** on fire, which sounds safer to you? If anything, Santa is providing long-term job security for millions and millions of elves that they otherwise wouldnt have died in tree-fire related accidents that plague the business of cookie baking. Also, the reason these elves work as slaves though is because the North Pole is a conservative state who has outlawed the rights of elves to unionize.... So if youre mad that they cant unionize for fair wages dont blame Santa, Blame Ronald Reagan.... ========================================================================== My arguments for why kids should look up to/believe in Santa 1) If kids no longer look up to Santa as a good role model, then the Jews win.... And we cant let the Jews win..... 2) Santa is taller then most kids, therefore it is only natural for them to look up to Santa. 3) If kids dont believe in Santa, then Pitch would be victorious in taking over the world and plunging it into a new dark age where people only have nightmares, there is no tooth fairy, no easter, and no summer (only winter). (See the film: Rise of the Guardians http://en.wikipedia.org... ) 4) If kids dont believe in Santa Claus, then malls wont have mall Santa's ask kids what they want for Christmas. Mall Santa's collect information on what is going to sell that year so that malls can be profitable, so without Santa capitalism as we know it would collapse. So yes, im saying that kids should believe in Santa otherwise this country will turn into Communist Russia. 5) This is an extension to number 4, If kids dont believe in Santa, they wont write what they want for Christmas in a letter to him (which is just kept by their parents anyways) so this would cause parents to not know what to get their kids for Christmas. And I dont need to even begin to explain how pissy kids get when they dont get what they wanted for Christmas. 6) If Kids dont believe in Santa, how would we celebrate the birth of Christ? By going to Church???? Who the f*ck wants to spend Christmas morning at church?????? 7) If kids dont believe in Santa, then how we celebrate Christmas would fundamentally be changed. This would cause an overabundance of pine trees that used to be chopped down and made into Christmas trees. Pine trees though are natural predators to humans, meaning if we have too many of them they will rise up and kill all of us. Christmas kept pine tree forces in check by cutting down their numbers on an annual basis, but if kids dont believe in Santa then nothing will stop the pine trees from rising up and overthrowing humanity. Ill end here for now