Danielle should remain friends with Sadie.

Please be aware that I will be using the terms my/mine, theLwerd's and Danielle's name interchangeably throughout this debate (all of which refer to me) so excuse the references jumping from 1st to 3rd person - haha - thanks again, and good luck! == More Background == At around 1 pm. on Thursday, February 26, 2009, Vi told me a story involving her and her best friend Mason (again - a pseudonym used for privacy). She probably doesn't remember this conversation, but I do. Anyway, Vi told me about her last trip to North Carolina to see her friend Mason. She had planned on seeing her girlfriend at the time who was in the military stationed somewhere close by. Mason obviously knew that Vi was there to see her girlfriend as well as him, as she had plans to see her girlfriend while there. Despite this, they were cuddling at some point (gentlemen, if you're thinking that you wouldn't want your girlfriend cuddling with another man while in a relationship with you, I'm sure you're not alone) and for some reason Mason felt the need to start touching Vi and proceeded to start kissing her. He didn't get very far, but what happened after that is almost entirely irrelevant to my case. For now I'd like to bring back the original issue: Danielle and Sadie. == Con's Argument == In real life, Con's argument has been that Sadie is a horrible and detestable person for daring to try and make out with Danielle. Con has said that for Sadie to do such a thing when Sadie knew damn well that Danielle was very in love and committed was not only inappropriate but downright disrespectful to both Danielle and her girlfriend. Now while I can agree that all of these things are true, there are several factors which make me believe that I can still be friends with Sadie. .. == Pro's Arguments == 1. Sadie was Danielle's roommate during their freshman year in college; we met 5 years ago. As most people know, this is a very exciting bond - it's both people's first time living away from home, essentially on their own, etc. You share a room with this person and subsequently spend most of your free time with them. As such, you naturally become close friends and the togetherness makes it almost seem like family. Sadie and I were no exception. We used to hang out all the time and grew to be very close. Most importantly we had (and still have) SO MUCH FUN together; she brings out a side in me that I can only experience with her just because of how our 2 personalities click together and what we can bring out in one another. 2. After living together, Sadie and I pledged the same co-ed fraternity together. Now most people here probably don't know a lot about how fraternities work let alone mine (which is incredibly unique from every other frat in the country). Greek Life aside, I think it's common knowledge that the bond you have with your fraternity Brothers and Sisters goes without saying. Now the bond you have with your PLEDGE SIBLINGS (the people you pledge with) is even stronger, as you went through months of Hell WITH those people thus strengthening your relationship through rough experiences and helping each other through, etc. Furthermore, it's almost a Greek rule that you espouse extreme loyalty to your Brothers and Sisters, as that is what much of the fraternity itself is built on and the kind of treatment in relationships that you expect to have while pledging and becoming a member. That said, it doesn't mean that you should let other people in your frat (or sorority) walk all over you without repercussion. It just means that this is supposed to be a life-long bond and as such, people are encouraged to work their stuff out rather than just walk away. 3. Sadie and Danielle's relationship is a hilarious one. They bring out a certain light-hearted childishness in each other; there's always a good time to be had. I'd say that Sadie is one of my closest friends in terms of being someone that I go to for humor, a quick pick-me-up and sometimes a more thorough and meaningful chat. Naturally she has been the person I leaned on while going through some difficult break-ups; I ask her for advice and I ask her for a good chat from time to time when we happen to see each other online. Considering we don't live in the same state anymore (and even when we did), I'd say that I average seeing her about 4 times a year now. 4. So here we are at the meat and potatoes of my argument. I'm sure most of you have been able to see where I was going with this already. If Con's argument is that I shouldn't be friends with Sadie because Sadie (a) disrespected my relationship by disrespecting my girlfriend, and (b) did so by actually making a move on me, then, what exactly is Con's excuse for remaining not only friends but BEST friends with Mason? Yes, these 2 love birds (sorry - I couldn't resist) still talk every. single. day. either through AIM, text, Facebook or all of the above. I'd say a relationship may even become borderline obsessive when Mason feels the need to text Vi about every new topic of conversation he has with a new girl he meets. But that aside, as this isn't meant to turn into a personal attack, I genuinely do NOT see a difference in behavior and relationships. If Vi can remain friends with Mason, I should be able to remain friends with Sadie. Yes, what Sadie did was wrong: cornering me in a bar while my girlfriend was right outside and trying to kiss me. However, I don't see how it's any different or better to have your guy friend who you trust come on to you WHILE YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND that he also knew you were in love with and committed to. It wasn't any less disrespectful that Vi was there; in fact I'd say it was LESS respectful for Mason to do it when Vi's girlfriend wasn't there TO make a scene even if she wanted to. Not only that, but it took advantage of Vi and put her in a very uncomfortable spot since she was 1,000 miles away from home and staying at the person's HOUSE who had just put her in that position. Furthermore, while not exactly a stellar excuse, Sadie was completely intoxicated which Vi can verify. Sure intoxication isn't a good defense in a court of law, but I think ANYONE with any drinking experience whatsoever can testify that your judgment is severely impaired while drunk thus causing you to do things that you normally would not do [1]. So, since Sadie has never done this while she was NOT intoxicated, we can assume that this is behavior she would only engage in while drunk because it is obviously wrong. Meanwhile, Mason imposed the same type of disrespectful behavior while completely sober. In other words, he knew exactly what he was doing when consciously choosing to make a move on Vi who was there largely in part to see her girlfriend who happened to be stationed close by. == Conclusion == Both Sadie and Mason's actions were wrong, however, Sadie was drunk and Mason was not. This fact says a lot about their intentions and the meaning behind their actions. Moreover, Vi has decided to not spend her Spring Break with me as originally planned and instead go back to NC to spend time with Mason. Obviously their previous encounter has had no impact on their friendship or her willingness to spend time with Mason. So, why shouldn't Danielle be allowed to remain friends with Sadie? Danielle sees Sadie about the same number of times per year as Vi sees Mason. Additionally, Vi has forgiven Mason based on good faith that he would not do that again, whereas Danielle's decision with Sadie was based on all that and more: a 5 year history as opposed to a 3 year history, and a bond that extends beyond general friendship but that of former roomies and pledge siblings. If Vi can remain friends with Mason, Lwerd should be able to remain friends with Sadie. I now await my beautiful, esteemed opponent's rebuttal. [1] . http://www.cdc.gov...