Famer's Story-Writing Debate Tournament Round #1 DakotaKrafick VS Logic_on_rails

A unique tale and a rare writing style. .. my writing abilities will be sorely tested. With verve I shall loose a quiver of rhymes, despite it being my likely doom! I’d also like to thank Famer for setting up this tournament. We shall see if we can satiate his desire for tales. --------------By the grass, by the lake;A lady walking by the bridge;A path cleared in her wake,As if by the swiftest carriageThe lady, of beauty as such befit an adage,Walked with such elegance,Till a passerby caused a dreadful spillage. .. The fair lady spiralled to the ground, dreadfully off balance. Her hands brushed against the cobblestone of the bridge. Instinctively, the fair lady brought her hands to her face. So freely did her weight shift that she nearly lost her balance again - her handbag, gone! Stolen by the passerby. .. disappearing across the bridge, into the distance. The passerby looked to be wearing a grey fur coat. Then came the gallant rescuer,Tall and strong as the tales of yore,With a mighty cry of “Stop, wrongdoer! ”His outrage overflowing as if at warYet the hero soon became calm,Lent a hand to our fair ladyAnd whispered so soothingly as balm,‘Wait here, let me catch the villain who is so shady’The dapper gentleman glided through the airHis radiance emanating outward,As if a gilded heir, Of paradise incarnate floweredThe hero kneeled lightly on one knee, offering up the stolen handbag. “My fair lady, I return to you that which is rightfully yours. Cruel is the one who stole from one so pure and beautiful. ” The lady blushed lightly, and proceeded to retrieve her handbag. “You have my deepest thanks. What is your name sir? ” The man rose, his blue eyes sparkling amidst the moonlight, a ray of light flattering his handsome face. “I am Aremair. I live in Lemore, down by the lake near that grassy knoll. Tell me, do you see it? ” The lady gazed into the distance, nervously blushing as Aremair gently guided her to face the hill. “I do see – it is most beautiful indeed,” she said admiringly. To be atop the grassy knoll, looking into the stars, on a night like. .. “My lady, shall I walk you back? We would not want anything untoward to occur again to one so beautiful, elegant, and. .. sharp. ” Aremair looked charmingly at the fair lady, who smiled lightly. “My fine gentleman, I should quite enjoy the company! ” Aremair laughed, a smile playing across his face. “My lady, you are too kind. I am no gentleman. I am but a humble man who aspires to be a paragon of virtue. I am not there yet, but in time. .. perhaps, just perhaps, I can hope to be that paragon. ” Charismatic, yet humble. There was a lull, a contemplative silence amidst the night. “Take my hand, my lady. ” In linked arms they walked,Talking, laughing beneath the wondrous sky,Jests, wit – both were lightly mocked;How could the night go awry? On and on they strode,Into the night which was lovably halcyon,When finally the lady slowedAnd asked her gallant champion‘Upon what face did you look upon Aremair? ’‘A face, a face! Oh, I saw none;The villain faded into the thin air,Yet rest assured for his day is run’‘”His” day you say? ’‘I do. The man, broad of shoulder,In a suitcoat so gray,It sank into the background like a boulder. ’‘You swear it so? ’‘Upon my word of honour! ’‘Why then, you have struck a grievous blowFor so impure a banner. ‘Shield my eyes from your lair,To think you could fall so, Aremair. .. ’“My lady, please. I know not what you speak of,” spoke Aremair softly and calmly. In response, the fair lady freed her linked arm, turning to face Aremair directly. “You sent the thief to steal from me,” she boldly replied. “I. .. I fail to understand my lady,” replied Aremair, his eyes looking into the distance furtively. “You speak of a grey suit coat, yet I am beyond sure that it was a grey fur coat! You stake your honour upon a lie? Then you have no honour, you fiend. ” Aghast, Aremair reeled slightly backwards, hurrying to compose himself. “My fair lady, my eyes be cursed indeed, but I did return your handbag. ” The lady laughed. “A man ‘broad of shoulder’ wore a fur coat? Tonight? Do you take me for a fool? ”“No my lady - you are sharp, brilliant. ” Ah, another piece of the puzzle. “I fail to understand your words though. ”“Let me explain. Men don’t wear fur coats, right? ”“I suppose not, however. .. ”“The answer is no. So it’s a lady, who used the thick fur coat to try and appear ‘broad of shoulder’; to hide her features. Of course, seconds after my handbag is stolen you appear and win it back, though you don’t see the villain’s face at all. Rather miraculous, don’t you say? ”“My lady, the duty of a gentlemen. .. ”“You use a thief to steal from me, use the resulting circumstances and false charms to try and win my heart. You nearly succeeded, but you used a woman for the theft. I realise now. .. ” Aremair’s eyes sparkled, finally spotting something in the distance. “Linda, how nice of you to come join us! ” smiled Aremair as a lady appeared from a cobblestone footpath. “Linda, did you see the frightful man who stole from this lady here? A man, yes? ” Linda seemed dazed, till Aremair subtly tilted his head. “Yes, a man! ”“Thank you Linda. I’ll see you tomorrow. ”“Yes, practice first,” replied Linda, walking into the distance. Aremair’s face went pale. The puzzle is complete. “Another witness who saw this man steal from you. ”“Another lady you’ve charmed. As I was saying, you have charmed many women. Were you charming me for tomorrow as well? Pray tell, what ‘practice’ are you be referring to? ”“I teach Linda the violin. ” “You play me false Aremair. Do not the rules state ‘One shall not give a riddle to the person who gave the riddle to them’? ”“There are many exceptions to that rule my lady - You can reply once in a row, just not twice to the same person, it doesn’t apply when only two are left. .. ”“I have a theory –many women who will help you tomorrow. Should they answer a riddle correctly they will ask another of your group something easy. They will know the answer. Then they will ask a far more difficult riddle to somebody outside the group, who won’t be allowed, as per the rules, to reply back. You plan to win through numbers, not smarts. ”Finally, Aremair laughed, the game up. “You are sharp indeed my lady but just like Lenny you shall be confounded. Do you know why it’s the ‘best man for the job’? Because it’s wrong for a lady to have many partners, yet glorious for a man. Only a man can use numbers to win. I shall see you tomorrow, my lady. ”And with that Aremair departed, fading into the night. Another viper beneath the quaint veneer of Lemore. The question was, which vipers were venomous?