It's time to put pompous parents in their place

Many thanks to Panda for yet another hilarious response. I should like to reply to each of his arguments in turn as follows: "Firstly, the only proof you have ever had sex is a child, miscarriage, or an abortion. Because Mr.Eggleston has so far given no evidence of these, I will take him as a sexless, childless man." Being a male of our species I can confirm that I have not given birth or had a miscarriage. Neither have I had an abortion, though I have done the decent thing and paid for them in the past. By the way, should my opponent find himself in a similar position, I would be happy to recommend a rather superior private clinic in Kingston-upon-Thames which offers a very quick and discreet service, albeit at a price of course. "Now let's compare him with Katrina, a 40 year old who had 5 abortions in her late teens/Early 20's, 3 children, a miscarriage and 2 more children. She has had an abundance of sex." This Katrina woman sounds like a right slapper to me - she must have a vagina like a wizard's sleeve by now. Still, beggars can't be choosers and I'd be most grateful if my opponent would give me her phone number. "Now, Sex means you have interacted with someone and shared ideas and thoughts..." No it doesn't. It really doesn't. Say you are in a nightclub and the lights are about to go up and you still haven't pulled. What do you do? You go on the dash for g-sh, don't you?. At that time of night though, all you are likely to find are fat old munters, but on the plus side, they will probably be all tanked up on tart fuel and as desperate for a bunk-up as you are. Whatever, there will be no question of exchanging pleasantries or engaging in any intellectual conversation - the music will be too loud for that anyway. No, this is all about lust and it will only be sex that you both have on your minds as you lead her by the hand into the gents' toilets. "Also, to have this many children, a high class of, um, love juice is required. Intelligent man have a high class of love juice [1]. This means Katrina here is a knowledgeable female, despite having grown up in inner city Birmingham." Whilst the healthy physical properties of the Harry Monk that Katrina's sexual partners donated to her in order to create her babies, miscarriages and abortions cannot be doubted, we must assume that she has had sex more than the ten times detailed hereinabove and, therefore, conclude that the filthy yogurt that she received courtesy her other lovers was of inferior quality, which in turn means we are must question her overall judgement in this matter. "Now, Mr.Eggleston on the other hand has probably had numerous "interactions" with his hand, which is made of inanimate bones, thick flesh and unintelligent skin. He has not had human interaction via sex to fortify his knowledge." Well, this may or may not be true (it's not true) but in order to procure the highest quality educational DVDs one must make the journey to Germany. Of course, the soundtracks on these art films are in German and as a consequence Ich bin auf Deutsch ganz flieï¿½end, that is to say, viewing Teutonic scud movies has improved my knowledge of a foreign language. "Of course, children are themselves little quiz masters, asking every question under the sky. This leads parents to hit their children and be locked away, or to check Wikipedia for the answer. This gives them an extra edge childless people don't have, as they prefer to frequent X rated websites rather Wikipedia." True, children are inquisitive but in many cases parents will tell them to look the answers up on Wikipedia themselves while they watch TV downstairs. By the way, I Googled "X rated websites" and discovered there's porn on the Internet! Why didn't anybody tell me earlier? That would have saved me a fortune on air fares to Germany. "Of course, in cases of people such as Karen Matthews, she is a blithering idiot without the children. Nothing can be done to help wasters such as her..." Agreed, Karen Mathews is a waster but what about Gerry and Kate McCann? (1)They are both doctors but they still thought it was okay to leave their three children on their own while they went off to get drunk when they were on holiday. As it happens, they were fortunate on that occasion and only one of their kids was abducted, but will they be so lucky next time? In conclusion, my argument stands - being a parent doesn't entitle you to look down your nose at someone without kids. Cheers! (1) http://www.oprah.com...