The odds are, most of us have backed the wrong horse!

Around four fifths of the world's population self-identify themselves as religious. About a third are Christian, a fifth are Muslims and another fifth follow South Asian beliefs. The rest are either non-believers or followers of minor religions. (1) So if there is an afterlife, who will be the ones that have backed the right horse and who will be the ones tearing up their ecumenical betting slips? Could it be that one day the Pope knocks on the gates of paradise and has the following conversation? Celestial Gatekeeper: Aasalaamu Aleikum. Pope: Bitte? Hier ist der Papst, lassen Sie mich nach innen. Celestial Gatekeeper: Sorry, I don't speak German. Do you speak English? Pope: Yes, yes, now let me in right now, I'm the bloody Pope, you ignorant little git. Celestial Gatekeeper: The Pope? Ah-ha-ha-ha! Oh dear, oh dear! So you're the head of the Catholic Church are you? Ha-ha-ha! Now let me see, that makes you a…Christian doesn't it? Oh dear, I'm sorry but it's Muslims only in here, pal, you're on your way to Hell! Ha-ha-ha! Pope: What? No wait! I've obviously got the wrong address. Would you kindly direct me to Christian Heaven, please? Celestial Gatekeeper: Are you crazy? There is only one Heaven. There's one Heaven and one god and His name is Allah, leader of all the worlds and all praise is due to Him. Pope: Jesus Christ on a f*ckin' bike, that's torn it! Look mate, I know I'm not a Muslim but surely you can make an exception for someone like me? Celestial Gatekeeper: No way, infidel, it's eternal damnation for you, I'm afraid. Pope: Oh come on, look, Muslims hate Jews, right? Well I used to be a Nazi (2) and the Nazi's killed millions of Jews. So come on, what do you say? Celestial Gatekeeper: No, the Nazis were indirectly responsible for the creation of the State of Israel and, anyway, according to your file, in 2006 you said the Prophet Muhammad had brought the world only evil and inhuman things. (2) No, no, no. It's the burning pits of Hell for you, pal. See you! Pope: F*ckin' rats c*cks! A life of celibacy for nothing! Oh, bollocks! Aaaah! Similarly, Ayatollah Khomeini, Osama bin Laden and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad will be in serious trouble if it transpires that the Jews are, indeed, God's Chosen People. The point is, we can't all be right. Here are the latest odds on the afterlife: Christian Heaven (bookies' favourite)......…..……3-1 against Islamic Paradise…..………………….........…...…..…5-1 No afterlife………..………………………..................25-4 Hindu reincarnation……………………….....….........7-1 Buddhist Nirvana…………………….………..............50-3 Taoist reincarnation…………………..…….......…....50-3 Sikh reincarnation……………………..……....….......280-1 Jewish Heaven…………………………..…........….....455-1 Xenu rescues Scientologists in his spaceship...…38,000-1 Even these odds do not include the possibility that more spiritually enlightened extraterrestrial civilisations exist elsewhere in the universe that have discovered the true nature of the afterlife or that more scientifically advanced aliens have proven that intelligent beings are no more than a complex collection of atoms and there is no afterlife at all. In the final analysis, no matter what your religious beliefs are, the odds are they are wrong. Thank you. Sources: (1) http://www.adherents.com... (2) http://news.bbc.co.uk...