Premarital Sex

Society (or religion) tells us that sex is dirty and filthy, and women who have it are sinners. Then, on that magical day during their adulthood, those formerly dirty women get married and the sex act, a thing they've been doing in a dirty way for years, suddenly transforms into an amazing and blessed experience. Sex, you see, is a very bad, dirty thing that you should only do with someone you love very, very much. This is nonsense. Sex is a natural occurrence, by which we and the animals around us have reproduced since the dawn of time! We are human, we have urges, we have needs. And it is most certainly OK to act upon them! It is natural and normal for most mature human animals to want and to pursue sex, and our bodies reward us when we do " we get some exercise, endorphins, orgasms. Imagine what all that would feel like if we didn't also attach unnecessary guilty baggage to it. A wedding isn't a magic spell that transforms sex from something that is "bad" to something that can't ever be bad. Especially if you've lived your life up to your wedding believing that you had a sin-hole between your legs. Sex is good whether you're married or not, and certainly folks who wait until marriage can have a lot of sex once they tie the knot. But waiting until marriage often means both early marriage and conservative views on marriage and gender " and people who marry early and/or hold traditional views on marriage and gender tend to have higher divorce rates and unhappier marriages. Antiquated views that lead people to believe that there is such a thing as sexual "purity" can also lead to a messed up post marital relationship with sex. Here is just one of many kids, indoctrinated by religion, who made an abstinence pledge as a child. http://www.alternet.org... . "At the age of 10, I took a pledge at my church alongside a group of other girls to remain a virgin until marriage. The church taught me that sex was for married people. Extramarital sex was sinful and dirty and I would go to Hell if I did it. I learned that as a girl, I had a responsibility to my future husband to remain pure for him. It was entirely possible that my future husband wouldn't remain pure for me, because he didn't have that same responsibility, according to the Bible. And of course, because I was a Christian, I would forgive him for his past transgressions and fully give myself to him, body and soul. Once I got married, it would be my duty to fulfill my husband's sexual needs. I was told over and over again, so many times I lost count, that if I remained pure, my marriage would be blessed by God and if I didn't that it would fall apart and end in tragic divorce. I lost my virginity on my wedding night, with my husband, just as I had promised that day when I was 10 years old. I stood in the hotel bathroom beforehand, wearing my white lingerie, thinking, "I made it. I'm a good Christian." There was no chorus of angels, no shining light from Heaven. It was just me and my husband in a dark room, fumbling with a condom and a bottle of lube for the first time. Sex hurt. I knew it would. Everyone told me it would be uncomfortable the first time. What they didn't tell me is that I would be back in the bathroom afterward, crying quietly for reasons I didn't yet comprehend. They didn't tell me that I'd be on my honeymoon, crying again, because sex felt dirty and wrong and sinful even though I was married and it was supposed to be okay now. When we got home, I couldn't look anyone in the eye. Everyone knew my virginity was gone. My parents, my church, my friends, my co-workers. They all knew I was soiled and tarnished. I wasn't special anymore. My virginity had become such an essential part of my personality that I didn't know who I was without it. " Reading this is a harrowing experience, in the mind of a normal young girl, ruined by religion and her abstinence pledge. I will not say anymore, as I look forward to reading the oppositions, screwed up, backwards, 1800's views on why a piece of paper in the eyes of a mythical man in the sky should stop humans from interacting naturally. I wait.