Supreme Court Case of Spongebob SquarePants v Bubble Buddy

"The defense begins by stating that Mr Bubble Buddy was set up that day because of widespread hatred that was aimed against him that day, and that there was a legit fear of his own life which prompted him to NOT help poor scooter from drowning. This however is a completely false claim to make, since at the time, NO ONE held any animosity towards Mr Bubble Buddy, or even seemed to know of his presence until AFTER the death of scooter took place. It was only until after Mr Bubble Buddy began to irk others of his presence due to holding up the bathroom line, among other things. ""According to previous testimony, Mr Squarepants and Mr Bubble Buddy had exited the Krusty Krab and hadnt been at the beach for longer then a few seconds before approached by Scooter and asked to bury him. This immensely small time frame between the two arriving at the beach and the incident with scooter completely negates the defenses claim that Mr Bubble Buddy at this time was under threat from widespread racism at the beach and was fearing for his life......... No further opening statements your honor" "Very well, you may call your first witness to the stand." - Judge"I call my own client, Spongebob Squarepants to the stand!"[Mr Squarepants takes a seat in the booth, his shoes squeaking with every step]"GO SPONGEBOB, YOU GOT THIS, WOOO!" - Patrick Star"Mr Star, please no talking" - Judge"Is Mayonnaise an instrument?" - Patrick Star"No Patrick, Mayonnaise is not an instrument............................................ Horse Radish isnt an instrument either" - Judge"Mr Squarepants, on the fateful day in November of 2000, what happened at the Krusty Krab?" - Me"Well, me and Bubbly buddy were getting hungry, so we went to the Krusty Krab and ordered one of everything" - Mr Squarepants"You entered the Krusty Krab at about 8:10 and didnt leave until 2:00, why did it take almost 4 hours for you and Mr. Bubble Buddy to eat food at a fast food restaurant?" "OBJECTION. The speed at which my client eats his food is not relevant to the case your honor" - Con"Overruled. You may answer the question Mr Squarepants" - Judge"Well, it took us four hours because Bubble Buddy is a very picky eater. We had to keep reordering the food because our waiter kept messing it up" - Spongebob"NO I DIDNT, YOU JUST KEPT MAKING RIDICULOUS DEMANDS TO MAKE MY LIFE MISERABLE" - Squidward"Mr. Tentacles, please sit down and be quiet" - Judge"Yeah Squidward sit down, you shouldnt interrupt the trial like that, its just rude" - Patrick Star"Whats rude is making me provide excellent service and then stiffing me with the bill!" - Mr. Tentacles"You still owe me my money you damn dirty bubble!" - Mr Krabs"Mr Krabs and Mr Tentacles please sit down. If you make another sound I shall hold you in contempt and issue you a fine of $500 dollars." - Judge [both Mr Tentacles and Mr Krabs sit down]"So mr. Bubble Buddy made it clear to you how he did and didnt like his food, essentially revealing that he was indeed a person to you is that correct?" - Pro"Yes" - Mr. Squarepants"So on that day in the beach, you were already aware that Mr. Bubble Buddy was indeed a real person, and placed him in charge of unearthing young Scooter from the sand before the tide came in?" - Pro"Yes Sir, I mean Ma'am, I mean Captain, I mean poo-bah" - Spongebob"No further questions your honor" - Pro"Very Well. Con you may either interrogate this witness, introduce a new witness, or you may simply rest and allow for the prosecution to introduce their next witness." - Judge