Resolved: The destruction of the death star was an inside job.

1) Grand Moff Tarkin's delayed response to deploy TIE fighters"Grand Moff Tarkin took a full 4 minutes before deploying TIE fighters to fight off the X-Fighter Squadron closing in on the vent opening, a full 2 minutes and 13 seconds over the training time. It's obvious that Mr. Tarkin delayed the release of the TIE fighters in order to give greater advantage to the rebel force."First off, Grand Moff Tarkin is at least 80 years old. Do you know how long it takes him just to take a piss at a Urinal? 8 minutes and 34 seconds (according to his medical information). Grand Moff Tarkin was old as hell, its a miracle that he was able to give the order in under 5 minutes at all. On the other hand, the Death Star was designed to resist an attack from massive fleets of battleships and battlecruisers! As the Death Star's designer, he felt that there was no reason to go all out in repelling a tiny attack force that consisted almost entirely of small fighters and that surface cannons would handle the situation. He did not know that the rebels held knowledge of the Death Star's construction either. Besides, he was a little preoccupied with another task he was carrying out that involved him BLOWING UP AN ENTIRE PLANETGrand Moff Tarkin is only guilty of being old as hell, not knowing how much the Rebels knew abotu the structure of the Death Star, and multitasking a little too much. There is no crime in that. "Grand Moff Tarkin knowing that the Turbo Laser batteries would be inadequate for fighting off the X wing fighters refused to deploy TIE fighters allowing the horrific event to occur"Theres no evidence to suggest this is true. When a mosquito is bugging you, you get a fly swatter, not an entire fleet of TIE fighters. Generals are trained to conserve their forces and use only what they think is necessary to win the battle (due to budget constraints this nation has been feeling recently)2) Darth Vader is Skywalker's father"Yet despite these allegation absolutely no official investigation has been created, which begs the question? Just who is in charge of this empire based on Freedom and Liberty."Everyone here knows very well about what happens to top political figures when they reveal that they have unknowingly fathered a child.... Senate hearings, impeachment, media frenzies, naked pictures, all that stuff could have led Vader and other top officials to cover this up assuming its even true to begin with! Hell the two dont even LOOK the same. Ones black and the other is white, you cant explain that!3) Vader broke protocols"I find is suspicious that Lord Vader himself chose to lead the counter attack against the X-Wing Fighter force"He has proven himself to be very useful on the battle field and is in fact one of the most feared people in the galaxy. There are reports that just the fact that he is in the fight can cause rebels to surrender and flee, so I see no issue with Vader wanting to enter the battlefield. Besides, they were just fighters as well, nothing he couldnt normally handle. "he had a clean shot Darth Vader refuses to shoot his Luke Skywalker's ship and purposefully misses and only wings it in order to allow the attack to occur"Or maybe he just has bad aim? Our targeting computers arent exactly the most reliable thing in the world, hell sometimes using "the force" is more effective and accurate. Contention 4: Palpatine reading to 5th gradersHe continued reading to them after he heard that the ATTACK was under way, not that the Death Star had blown up. Parts of the empires forces are attacked every day all across the galaxy, its nothing to lose ones mind over or react to suddenly when it happens.... "he was conveniently off the Death Star when it blew up, this serves as evidence for itself to show our own emperor's guilt when in the final destruction of the death star."Well yeah, there arent elementary schools on the Death Star... Why would he be on there to read to fifth graders if there arent even any elemantary schools on there in the first place?5) Photon Torpedo's"As we all know, thermo-nuclear photons can only be manufactured on the second moon of Endor due to it's vast unobtainable supplies. These torpedoes are kept under strict watch and could not have been removed unless purposefully given to the rebels"Thats assuming that gun control actually works. Just because you ban them from having torpedos doesnt mean that rebels will obey those laws, theyre rebels for crying out loud! They probably simply stole them much like the fighter jets they stole too. This doesnt imply that this is a conspiracy, it only implies that Congressman's Barack-Jabba-The-Hut-Obama proposed gun control laws that were implemented shortly before the incident are horrendously ineffective! I believe that conservatives would agree with me on this. 6) Secondary Explosions"If you stop the video directly at 3:35 you see the shock-wave from the torpedoes but also a scattering of sparks behind the death star to the left, a 90 degree angle away from the Rebel's line of approach."Most of the fleet meant to guard the Death Star were stationed on the left half of the ship, because any massive attack on the Death star would have come from deep space, which is where the left half was facing. The sparks only show where our main fleet was located on the Death Star, its not evidence of planted charges or whatever it is youre proposing. Im starting to wonder if this footage is even real actually, It could have easily been shot somewhere in Hollywood with some effects thrown in here and there. Hell I bet I could make like 9 sequels to this footage, most of which would be really bad. "The fact is, there is simply too much evidence for this tragedy to be a coincident or a result of incompetence"A wise man once said "Never doubt how incompetent a government can be, because even if you think a government cannot grow any more incompetent than it already is, it will surprise you in the worst way you could think." That wiseman was Bart Simpson (in his later years) and that is exactly what happened here. Not a conspiracy