This House Believes that God Does Not Exist! (Troll Debate)

Argument from Produce Whether she is eating that banana or not, she is clearly doing so in a seductive manner. And of course, according to your bible, if a woman tempts a man she is sinning obviously. My opponent seems to have completely forgotten about the horrible murders, and even massacres bananas have caused throughout the centuries! Must I remind you of the horrifying massacre at Guatalmea in 1979? Or what about the serial banana, Banana Joe who murdered 17 people? This is of course, not to mention that bananas all around the world, especially in South America (where they are most prominent) have been brutally murdering monkeys! Cute baby monkeys! It is clear that bananas are evil fruit, and that no loving god would ever create them, nor should such evil fruit somehow serve to be proof of god. Argument from Literature Attack on premise 2 You have to think, if Satan did take control of the human authors of the Bible, then all of the good things in the Bible are actually evil! In other words, your god actually wants you to murder people and watch pornography! Attack on premise 3 What about Bloodinonomy 21:17? “And God saw that thine infants were cuter than thee, and thrusted the almighty hand upon them, and smite them all.” Your god was jealous of the babies being cuter than him. So jealous in fact, that when he noticed loving parents were giving more care and attention to their children than god, that god destroyed all the babies! Yeah, that sure sounds like a great god to me. I mean, if I were god I’d be jealous to. Here he is with a scraggly old beard and a mean face: And then of course there are these adorable wittle babies. So god destroys babies because they are really cute and adorable, yet again, Justin Bieber has not been destroyed. I would definitely say god is wrong on this one. The Problem of Justin Bieber Oh gee, Zaradi is in a far worse condition of mind control than I thought. *shakes Zaradi ferociously* ZARADI SNAP OUT OF IT! YOU ARE A ZOMBIE! Sh*t, if Zaradi has been taken over, this must be far worse than I originally thought. THE BIEBER APOCALYPSE IS AMONG US! Crap, I gotta get to Walmart ASAP and get some ear plugs for my wife and kids. - Dear whoever may be reading this, My name is Cris Arcos. Over the past years Justin Bieber has been brainwashing innocent people, and thus causing them to join his army In order to destroy all that is good. Today, I found out my friend Zaradi has been severely brainwashed among by Bieber. I respected Zaradi, even if he was a theist. Now that I have noticed my loved ones have been brainwashed, I have decided it is time to act. I have gone to a store to by the highest quality ear plugs I could so I could protect my family. While I was there I noticed it was not just Zaradi that had been brainwashed, but also a great many of the public. The time of doom is upon us. I urge you all to take great caution, especially in stores and around teenage girls who seem especially prone to sharing Bieber’s voice. Right now I am in a safehouse in the mountains writing this letter. To any who find this, please do not lose hope. We can rise and defeat this. Back to the Argument As Bloodinonomy stated, god did indeed kill babies. Geeze, you call yourself a theist and you haven’t even read your own bible. I suppose it is typical that a genius atheist like myself would know it better than you do. After all, why else would you be a theist? So again, god killed babies and Bieber is still alive. Something is seriously wrong here, and I think it is god’s existence. Argument from Richard Dawkins Look, god made the world in 6 days, but science says it was like a really long time. So just saying, your god totally didn’t create science. And by the way, Jesus didn’t wear glasses, so argument refuted. Your very own teacher didn’t wear glasses, which obviously proves he wasn’t smart. So this means all of you theists are following the teachings of a dumb guy. Whereas my leader, Richard Dawkins does wear glasses, thereby proving he is smart and that atheism is correct. Argument from Formal Logic Sorry, but this debate is already layered enough as is. Even though you are a theist, your arguments have somehow been good enough that this may be the most complex and intricate debate on the existence of god ever held. So the fact that you are trying to make it more layered is just mean to the readers and is poor conduct on your part. And I didn’t understand your whole explanation on this layering thing, but since I am an atheist (and therefore smarter) I’m just going to assume you’re wrong. By the way, you using logic (congrats! Its your first time!) to show that humans shouldn’t eat icecream is just flawed, because using your last argument you admitted yourself that you are stupid, so obviously your logic must be stupid also. To reiterate what Zaradi said: P1. Logic is stupid. P2. But I used logic on my other arguments anyways. C1. Therefore I am stupid. So Zaradi says logic is stupid and Zaradi admits that he is stupid, so Zaradi’s logic must obviously be flawed. I assure you all, that logic is pro icecream! A vote for me is a vote for icecream! - Thank you Zaradi for this debate, it has been lots of fun.