Bestiality Should be Legalized

Before I begin, I would like to point out that I myself am not interested in having sex with animals, nor have I ever entertained the thought of having sex with animals. However, I fail to see any ethical or legal reason why having sex with animals should be illegal for those who are interested. My arguments pertain only to the U.S., as it would be rather silly to state these points for countries that already allow bestiality.--------------Mankind has had various relationships with animals throughout the ages: we have used them as friends, guards, clothes, and even food for centuries. There even exists a website that takes this man-animal relationship one step further--to marriage [1]. My suggestion is simply to allow people to consummate their marriages with their beloved animals, as well as have one-night stands and any other form of who-knows-what-because-it's-not-my-business with them.1. Having sex with animals would be no less cruel than eating them.People eat animals such as pigs, cows, lamb, chickens, and even horses on a daily basis throughout the U.S. We do such things for sustenance, and the argument could be made that it is necessary to do so in order to live. However, if we really truly wanted, we could do away with eating animals and all become vegan. (Have you seen PETA's commercials? They really want you to be a vegan.) The vegan diet consumes fewer resources, and many people would actually be healthier by avoiding animal fats and processed red meats. Protein deficiencies can be made up through means other than animal protein, such as soy. Why don't we do this, then? Why do we continue to kill animals in cruel ways* [2] and eat their delicious bacon? Simple: pleasure. Meat is delicious, and we don't want to give it up. (It's also worth pointing out that many people in the United States believe leather is sexy [3].) If it's okay to kill animals for their meat, is it really any worse to make love to them first? Or better yet, make love to them instead of killing them at all? The answer is no: it is not any worse.2. It is no more dangerous than sleeping with a sex worker.Sleeping with a prostitute can get you chlamydia, crabs, gonorrhea, Hepatitis A-C, HIV… the list goes on. Zoophilia has its list of diseases as well, but most are treatable with antibiotics. Get a docile animal that won't try to bite during sex, skip the argument about wearing protection (because you will, no questions asked; animals can't insist that they're disease-free and convince you not to protect yourself), and presto! Someone just saved himself a few hundred bucks.3. It would cut down on prostitution and human trafficking.I don't have the statistics on how many people would rather have sex with animals than with people, (partly because very few people would admit to finding a sheep's butt sexier than that of a woman and also because nobody cares to find out), but the number is than 1. Every person who sleeps with animals as opposed to sex workers cuts down on the sex industry's profits, which means fewer people will be kidnapped from foreign countries to do dirty deeds for clients. This may give birth to a new industry in which people buy "comfort animals," but hey, as I pointed out earlier, is it really any worse than slitting an animal's throat [2] and wearing its skin [3]?4. If it does give birth to a new industry, the government can tax the **** out of it.Let's be honest: the U.S. government isn't good at holding onto money. They spend it on military,… okay, mostly military. But they spend it on a lot of other things, too, and they borrow tons of money from other countries to do so [4]. One more service/good to tax to supply the government's spending spree couldn't be a bad thing. Sure, there are problems to take care of, like the fact that the government is spending so much in the first place, but in the meantime, if people are willing to cough up tax money to have sex with animals, why not take that money and spend it on awesome things like education, roads, and everything else the stars and stripes do for us?5. Legalizing bestiality would make it safer for those who already practice it.If a man is schtupping a sheep unbeknownst to his girlfriend and the girlfriend contracts whatever diseases the man got before transmitting the disease to other men, this could lead to an epidemic. Worse, because animal STDs are uncommon (for now), it is difficult for doctors to diagnose such diseases when they are transmitted [5]. By legalizing bestiality and teaching people how to properly make love to various animals, we can prevent these epidemics from ever happening in the first place.To my opponent who is yet to be named: I wish you luck and look forward to having a fun debate with you.*Admittedly, I am hesitant to define "cruel." If someone were to hang another man upside-down and slit his throat to bleed him to death for the sake of pleasure, though, I am confident that most of the U.S. population would consider this "cruel."Sources:[1] http://www.marryyourpet.com...[2] http://www.wfad.org...[3] http://www.askmen.com...[4] http://www.brillig.com...[5] http://www.cdc.gov... (an example of an animal-to-human STD)