'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all

traditionally, i will start this rebuttal by thanking my opponent for such an amazing topic, and i am surprised i did not think of starting a debate like this one earlier. ok to begin, i will refute the opponents case, then make some points of my own. OPPONENTS CASE: 1. MY OPPONENT: "Hallam's sudden death in 1833 threw Tennyson into a tormented and near-suicidal state. Clearly it is not true, merely by its context. His grief was almost too much to endure, and this grief could clearly be avoided if this friend had not been in his life in the first place." ME: It is true that death does occur in life, and that when it does, it is a very tragic thing, but i would have to oppose that it is still better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. because living a life in loniless, is possibly one of the worst things ever to befall an individual. one may say they are content living in lonliness, but in reality, they would be lying to themselves and to the rest of the world. Because every one wants to be loved, understood, and heard. Everyone needs to have some one there to share their thoughts and feelings with, to care about and, to be there for. because being single means to have lost every oppurtunity at opening up. proven fact: being alone can drive some one crazy. The young eighteen year old at the trolley square incident lived alone with no one to relate to and share his feelings with. so instead he decided to express his feelings of anger towards the world by wreaking havoc upon innocents. same with the virginia tech massacre. all alone and empty with no one there for them. and people choose this life style of lonliness, because theye are afraid of loss. there thought train is "if i get too close to this person, they will just leave me like everyone else has. might as well just not even try." Because someone you loved died, does not mean you should just give up on love in general. Remember all the happy times you had with that person, remember these and know you can have them again with someone else. death should not stand in the way of having love. because love is something everyone can have and experience over again. 2. MY OPPONENT:"in just about everything else that has been studied, people who have always been single do better than people who were previously married (divorced or widowed). The results are are quite consistently in the opposite direction than Tennyson would have led us to believe" ME: is this an overall result? and if so where are the statistics? And anyway, it is true, that alot of relationships aren't perfect. there are always going to be hard times, but does that mean it is better to just give up on them? Not at all. because in the end which benefits you more? living a life of lonliness or living a life of love? even though there are obstacles, doesn't mean it is better to give up on them. Now-a-days there has been an increased rate of divorce, and faltered relationships. but people who divorce, can you really call that love? in todays society, we tend to jump into relationships without fully understanding or caring, about what might happen afterwards. this is one major reason divorce rates grow. These relationships are not true love relationships. Because marriage is an eternal vow of love towards another, and to break that means to lie about your love. but even so, a divorce will not prevent you from loving again, it will just strengthen you to make better decisions for a relationnship; MY OPPONENT: "and that is enough to vote con, no matter what my opponent says." ME: i am sorry but i always find it quite insulting to find an opponent makes pre-judgements before i even have even argued one point. you could say something like "with this evidence my opponent will have a hard time refuting me" but to say that it is impossible for your opponent to win before he even makes his first response is a little rude, and contradicts the purpose of debate. that aside, i shall move on. 3. MY OPPONENT: "People who have always been single have not experienced the same depth of stress (or crisis or loss) as people who have divorced or become widowed" ME:yes but are you to say all love is, is just stress? what about the stress love cures? having some one to talk to... having some on who will listen to you and help you... having some one who will do anything for you the second they are needed... and again when losing love, all can be gained back. as opposed to being single lonely and hard pressed with work and life. 4. MY OPPONENT: "So once your loved one leaves, you are left without the skill set necessary to survive in years, while single people always have these abilities." ME: But does that mean you cant find another to fill in that position? thankyou for this debate once again. i am hard pressed on time only having so much time to respond, but i enjoyed this debate topic. -philosphical