Being a Fatty is Worse than Being a Ginger

I agree to my opponents conditions.I'ma want some McDonalds. All of this talk about obesity will be makin' me hungry. 1) SwimmingHave you ever seen a fat guy in a bathing suit?! Assuming you live in America, then your answer is most likely yes. It would suck to be the guy that everyone states at because your extra flab is hanging over your trunks! file:///C:/Documents%20and%20Settings/Owner/My%20Documents/My%20Pictures/Fat%20guy.jpeg Now, I don’t know about you, but I would NOT want to look like that at the beach! Now then, onto the actually part about swimming. Fat guys just sink in the water because gravity pulls their flab down or something and they just sink. There is scientific evidence behind this! Plus, you would be surprised how many videos you find on YouTube of fat kids sinking boats! Approximately 6,543,954.667 people die every year due to fat kids sinking boats, drowning themselves, or people having a heart attack due to looking at fat men in speedos. 2) Looking pregnantIf there is one thing that SUCKS about being fat it’s looking pregnant everywhere you go! Men everywhere are asked everyday whether they are pregnant or not due to their overlarge bellies and it is insulting and just not fair! This is especially embarrassing to women! Nothing worse than looking like the class slluuutt when it’s really just a bit of extra chub you should have burned off last summer!3) Walking up stairsTHANK GOD for the elevator right?! Scientists concluded that if it weren’t for the elevator then 17 more fat people would die every year due to having a heart attack while walking up the stairs! But what about those times where there IS no elevator?! Oh those poor fatties! Huffin and puffin and having to catch their breath every few steps?! It’s horrible! Oh goodness and the worst part is when they fall and roll down the stairs only to be in massive despair as they look up that staircase having to tackle this challenge once again! 4) Farting and Fat People For some weird fackin reason, everyone ALWAYS assumes it’s the fat guy that farted! I can’t explain it! Great, so now you get to be the fat AND smelly one? Not fair. I mean, c’mon. Admit it, you have this biasness too. You always look at the nearest fat guy!5) Being AttractiveC’mon, let’s face it, we all want to be attractive studs like Brad Bit, Master Chief, or Mickey Mouse, but sometimes the only thing that gets in the way of that (litteraly) can be the flab! Let’s face it, those frosty biotches only like guys who are athletic and fun! Not, flabby and farty if ya know what I mean. In addition to this, it is very, very difficult to have sexual intercourse when your own body is getting in the way! 6) Physical Activity Let’s face it; fat people just can’t do physical activity in general. They are terrible at sports! They are just slow slow slow and sports require you to be fast fast fast (except for golf but if a fat guy can walk that much in one game without getting a heart attack then I would be dam impressed) Football:Good for lineman bad for literally everything else. Golf: Too much walking Baseball: Can’t swing bat fast enough to hit ball plus can’t run bases fast enough. Swimming: Gravity is a bitch and it is scientifically proven, see my argument over swimming above for more reasoning. Track/Cross Country: Lol. Basketball: Fat men can’t jump nigga$! Also too slow. Yikes, looks like fat people are basically excluded from every well known sport! This isn’t really physical activity, but I didn’t want to give it its own category. Fat people falling is not only hilarious, but is just plain hell for the fat person! All the blubber weighing them down and them not having enough room to get on their arms and legs! Oh my, can you just imagine if a fat person fell down with nobody around to help?! We’re talking days of torment! No food! No water! Somehow having to survive off drinking their own urine and eating their own fat! We cannot have this happen to any fat person. 7) Fat people are noticeable, like really noticeable. This may at first sound unimportant, so let me elaborate. Because fat people are so big (and noticeable) they can’t play funny pranks on their friends that involve them having direct, or indirect physical contact with the prankee! The fat guy’s smaller, faster friends can easily see him coming about to throw a giant exercise ball in your face, will easily dodge, then will kick it at the fat guy causing him to fall down and well, I don’t think I need to explain this again. I’m going to just say this now because it helps with my next point. Fat guys like Call of Duty. It’s a fact and it’s undeniable. Fat guys can’t achieve their dream of being in the military throwing tomahawks at Osama Bin Ladens and blowin shat up! They can’t even be a sniper because they are so freakin noticeable and would have to find a really freakin big bush to hide behind! 8) Heart DiseaseI know, I know, we didn’t want to hear it but it’s true! Fat people can’t handle all of that grease that gets clogged up in their hearts, then the blood starts clotting and the fat people just spontaneously explode taking the other innocent civilians with them! Sad, but… true. :/ 5 Reasons Being a Ginger is Awesome! 1. Ability to control and manipulate fire at will! 2.Can burst into flames burning everyone around them! 3. No soul means no emotions which means SUPER CYBORG ROBOTIC AWESOMENESS. 4. Gingers are naturally good at doing an Irish Jig! 5. Gingers always know where the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow is! I MEAN CMON, NO CONTEST GINGERS ARE AWESOME AND SECRETLY RULE THE WORLD BY BRAINWASHING EVERYONE WITH THEIR CYBORG ROBOTIC TECHNOLOGY. Thank you for accepting this debate! I await My opponents response.