Generally, Sex Before Marriage is Not Morally Sound

In order to fully understand my arguments, we must first analyze the things I will be talking about. What is Sex? Although the most common answer to this question would really just be the literal definition, I will take it further than that. Let us remember that sex between humans and sex between animals are not the same, nor should they be treated the same. Animals cannot add in the one major factor all humans can, love. There are many ways to show your intimacy for another, and there are different levels of intimacy that can be shown. For example, you may give a handshake to your professor, but not a hug. You may kiss a girl you like, but not a stranger. Sex, unlike these other forms of intimacy, is the most dramatic level of intimacy, and when used correctly, is the greatest way to physically use your body to show love. Sex, when used purely out of love, has no barriers. It tells your partner that you are completely vulnerable, that you are putting all your trust into them, and that you are totally giving yourself to them. It freely gives your total self to them; an act that only true love can do. Sadly, current society has twisted sex to be about an act of pleasure, and although it may look like you are giving yourself to your partner, it turns into an act of selfishness, and not out of true love. Sex can also be abused to be less about how much you love someone, and more about how much you want their body. Those who have sex before marriage generally do it out of a desire for sexual pleasure, and not a want for true love, which degrades sexual intercourse down to a selfish act. Although the act may not be selfish in whole, it still doesn’t use sex to be the greatest it can be. What is Love? Love despite what many may think, is not just a physical attraction to another person. Love is the ability to want to sacrifice for another human. Love is what happens when you are willing to suffer for another. Love is the absolute giving of yourself to another person, for them. True love is the exact opposite of selfishness, for it is about sacrifice, and wanting what is best for an individual. Love can only truly be repaid by love itself. In the same way when a couple enters a relationship about love, it should focus on the desire to sacrifice and do what is best for each other. They should love, and be repaid with love. Sex before marriage has many risks; if you truly love someone you will desire what is best for them. What is best for them, would be to use sex for love and love only. What is Marriage? Now despite the thought that marriage is only a contract between consenting adults (depends on the culture), it actually has a deeper meaning than that. Marriage is the commitment to be faithful to the one you love, to sacrifice for the one you love, to take care of them, never leave them, always desire what is best for them; marriage is the commitment between two people to true love itself. My Arguments Now that we have analyzed what sex, love, and marriage truly mean, I can make my arguments. I have explained that sex is the complete giving of yourself to another human in the most dramatic form of intimacy. I have explained that love too, is the complete giving of yourself to another. I have explained that marriage is the commitment to fully give yourself to the person you love. We look at this and we realize that all three have something in common; the complete giving of yourself to the person you love. It would only be appropriate to save something as special as this until you take a commitment that is equally as special. We can now come to the conclusion that the best way to use sex, is to not only use it out of true love, but to save it for when you make the commitment of marriage which focuses around the promise that you will completely give yourself to a person. To use sex for anything but love, turns into a selfish desire for pleasure and misrepresents what sex is best used for. To have sex outside of marriage is to not hold that commitment that sex needs in order to truly make it out of love. Sex before marriage cannot be morally sound because it is most definitely not free from error or fallacy. To truly love someone would be to want was is best for them; if sex is best done when a couple has a commitment and love each other then that is what it should be preserved for. Faithfulness Having sex before marriage can affect the faithfulness of an individual to another in a marital, or non-marital relationship. Abstinence from sex allows you to save sex for the person you truly love; abstinence makes it easier to stay faithful to one person, because you are specifically saving yourself for that person. Sex with your future spouse will hold a special meaning because you saved the most important form of intimacy for them. Having sex before marriage (generally multiple times) causes the meaning of the most important form of intimacy to degrade to the point that it is no longer special. It is no longer about love. It is about your personal desire for pleasure. Sex turns into something about fun, and not something used to express your commitment and love to your spouse. Abstinence Allows You to Express Love in Non-Sexual Ways The best part about abstinence from sex till marriage is that no matter what, your partner will love you for you, and not for the sexual pleasure you may give them. Couples that abstain from sex are going to find others way to express their love for each other. It allows their relationship to experience a “variety” of intimacy and shows your love in many different ways. This is important for when you decide to be with that person for the rest of your life. Risk of Conceiving a Child I think if there was one argument you were expecting, it was this one. Getting pregnant is a serious risk when having sex before marriage and should not be taken lightly. However, when a couple is married they will generally welcome a child into their life, whether or not the child was conceived on purpose is irrelevant. However, when someone who has sex before marriage conceives a child it will inevitably affect their life in a negative way. This is because the two people do not share the commitment marriage calls for. If they truly desired what is best for each other would they take a risk neither are prepared for? Morality and Sex Now at this point you might be thinking something along the lines of, “Okay, he’s shown that sex is best saved for marriage, but he hasn’t shown that sex isn’t morally sound.” Well let’s look at the definition of morality (moral): of or relating to principles of right and wrong in behavior. We can now see all the consequences and risks that sex before marriage brings; we can also see that saving sex for marriage has many benefits for the couple. Let’s look at the definition of sound: free from error, fallacy, or misapprehension. Now if we re-worded the resolution, it would actually go along the lines of this: Generally, sex before marriage in not free from error, fallacy, or misapprehension according to principles relating to right and wrong behavior. Principles are a set of laws, or rules. Meaning that marriage can only not be morally sound compared to a set of rules already laid out. However, my arguments I have presented are that set of principles saying that sex before marriage in not morally sound. For as long as my arguments stand, my set of principles are still intact therefore showing that sex before marriage is not morally sound. Conclusion I have shown that sex before marriage is generally flawed and is not morally sound in relevance to my arguments defending that sex should be preserved for marriage. I have never seen, or done a debate like this, so I am hoping this debate should be interesting and fun. I look forward to your response.