Rape or Nontraditional rape? (Bride Kidnapping Video)

Michelle Opening Statement Introduction: Around the world there are many different views with many different cultures that one might not necessarily agree with everything that are going on in the world. Since there are so many different types of cultures, it is as if we are expected to have an open mind about certain things. It is as if we must prepare our mind to accept that others see things differently then we might and we must not question other countries or persons beliefs. We in a way have no right to decide whether the actions of others are wrong because what is wrong in our eyes might be acceptable in another"s eyes. In this specific case we are trying to decide if the actions taken by the Husband in this video are actually acceptable or wrong. Well as I stated before we are not one to decide what is acceptable and what is not therefore bride kidnapping is neither non-traditional rape nor Rape. For instance in some cultures it is normal for a female and although others may not accept their traditions it is not something we can fully control. Many traditions have been around since the ancient times (23:10). It has become a way of life, an unwritten rule, a rule that is inherited from generation to generation. It is a simply a part of their culture and even if some disagreed there is not much that they can do to change things. As I understood from the video there is not even much that the law can do about this tradition, it seems to be something that goes beyond the law and that by simply talking to the police the men planning on committing the kidnap can simply talk their way out of any trouble with the law (17:46). The author claims that her article "Examines the rape within the criminal law tradition in order to expose and understand that tradition"s attitude toward women. (159.8.1) Although as seen in the video some women were kidnapped it is not Rape nor is it non-traditional rape because many women consented to the marriage. While watching the video we see that if the woman simply accepts to get married right away she is simply desperate to get married and should not be taken seriously. If the woman fights, cries, and at refuses the marriage for a while puts up a fight, she is seen as a female that can become a good wife and someone who can be taken seriously. Not only is she respected by her future husband but also by her in laws which seem to have an extremely high level of importance in this Country. I feel as if the kidnapping is simply a way to excite the proposal. It is a way to win the girl. She will agree because many times they were already dating and have discussed marriage prior the kidnapping. This is a way to propose and ask the girl if she will marry you. Further, to prove to society that she is worthy of being a wife she will work hard for her groom"s family and will first consent to the marriage. It is believed that after the first night together if the bride does not bleed is was not a virgin and the marriage will not be acceptable. If the girl stays the first night is it believed that she will stay forever (17:22). Therefore, the man does not have to force her to have sexual intercourse by using aggression and/or physical abuse because she will be accept her role now and is willing do it in order to prove she is worthy of the wife title. The girl has accepted what happened, "I don"t know If she just put up resistance because that is what you are supposed to do" (15:34). It is an acceptable kidnap for many reasons, one of them could be justified by the fact that the bride"s family was aware that the groom"s family would come for a visit in order to discuss the weddings. If the kidnapping came of total surprise the bride"s family would not have known that they would have to prepare such a special dinner and alcohol. While it is true that some woman have committed suicide because of these kidnaps it is not the case for all. Many of the women, who have been victims of kidnaps, learn to accept it because they see it as something that is going to happen eventually because in their culture this is part of life and something they cannot prevent. They must simply play their role and accept it, by accepting it they can be happy and have a family. Therefore, the actions taken by the husband/groom are neither Rape nor non-traditional rape in that it is a rule that comes from the ancient time. The women are expected to marry young and it is not their choice when they are ready to marry by the groom"s choice when he is ready. It is simply a different way of proposing and that is truly why I see this as something that we cannot judge as Rape or Non-Traditional way because in this country this is something that is not questioned, it is not something that is seen as the violations of the women"s rights it is simply a way of living and ending up happy with that person and the family you both create. The key thing is to remember that we as outsiders to this country"s traditions see this as something that is completely wrong but they do not. They see it as something that symbolizes happiness, destiny and the beginning of a new love that will last a lifetime.