RoyalPaladin is Awesome

O2: No rules forbidding semantics. O3: No rules stating that I don't win this debate by default. Therefore, I win by default. O4: No definitions provided, therefore, prefer the ones I give. Definitions: Dictionary. com has no definition of "RoyalPaladin" (1). Apparently it does not exist. So since there's no actual definition, I'll just make one up myself. RoyalPaladin is defined as "An intergalactic spaceship, made of penises, whose sole purpose is to bring Adolf Hitler back to life and appoint him as president of the United States". Yeah, that works pretty good. "is" is defined as "island" (2). "Awesome" is defined by Urban Dictionary as "You" (3). Pro might question the validity of Urban Dictionary as a source. However, Grape, one of the best debaters on the site, writes that "Urban dictionary is a source of the highest quality" (4). My source is legit. Using these definitions, the literal interpretation of the resolution is "An intergalactic spaceship. .. island you". As you can see, this makes no sense whatsoever. Wtf is this talking about? My opponent can't even write a coherent debate resolution. Can this person be considered awesome? So I pretty much win right here, but just for the sake of argument I'll go ahead and make some contentions based on the "normal" definitions you would expect. .. . C1: Royalpaladin is a horrible person True for several reasons, 1. Calls me a coward at the beginning of the debate. Coward is defined as "the most insulting word known to man" (5). 2. About 2 weeks ago, Royal married Thett3. Here is one of their threads dedicated to it (6). 11 days later, Thett and Royal are now single and Royal is in a relationship with Mestari (7). Royal has therefore broken Kim Kardashian's record in the Guiness Book of World Records for shortest marriage of all time. She obviously can't maintain a relationship. More importantly, Royal was sweet-talking Mestari before she even got divorced. Yep. She was sleeping with Mes every night for about 4 days before her official relationship ended. Therefore, she was cheating on her husband. I should win therefore win both Thett3's and the general male vote automatically. Also note that on Mestari's profile, Royal has been repeatedly calling him "Bunny". Bunny is defined by Urban Dictionary as "an often young, but not exclusively, male who's so inexperienced or so under-endowed that his thrusting pace during sexual intercourse mimics that of a rabbit's" (8). So not only is she cheating on her husband, but she's been tacitly accusing other DDO members of being poor in bed. Again, male vote goes to me. C2: Royalpaladin is Joseph Kony Pretty sure we've all heard of the Kony 2012 video, detailing the murders being orchestrated by Joseph Kony in Uganda. Its Royal. 1. Innomen ran an IP check on Royal's account and found that it matches the address of an abandoned igloo in Alaska (9), which is where Joseph Kony is allegedly hiding according to the well-respected news source, Encyclopedia Dramatica.2. Thett3 recently sent me a PM detailing an encounter he had while married with her. See conversation here (10). Royal can't be awesome if she is Joseph Kony. Why? Because Joseph Kony is black. The well-known philosopher, Jimtimmy, writes, "Black people are inherently inferior to whites and thus can't be considered awesome in any way". Jimtimmy said it, so it must be right. Also, Joseph Kony kills babies. This is not awesome. Its also consistent with Royal's position as Pro-Choice, which kills babies. You might say, "but BV, aren't you Pro-Choice too? ". Yes I am, and therefore am also a baby-killer. But the debate isn't about me. So yeah. C3: Royalpaladin is GodSyllogism: 1. Royalpaladin is God 2. Most active people on this site are atheists/agnostics 3. People do not like to be proven wrong 4. If Royal is proven to be God, that would prove most people on this site wrong 5. If Royal is God and proof of her existence causes people to be proven wrong, thus making them angry, then all atheists/agnostics should vote for me in retaliation. Premises 2-5 are obviously correct and are definently not flawed in any way. Premise 1 is upheld by the definition of God: "any person or thing to which excessive attention is given" (11). And by that definition, Royal is obviously God. People have dedicated entire threads to her. People in mafia games are always talking about her. Royal's been in sh1ttons of flame wars. The DDO Forum Post Monitoring Index reports that of the 1 million posts on Debate. org, approximately 12 million of them have been about Royal (12). So she fits the definition of God, therefore providing voter incentive to go Con through the above syllogism. I await Joseph Kony's response. 1. . http://dictionary.reference.com... 2. . http://dictionary.reference.com... 3. . http://www.urbandictionary.com... 4. . http://www.debate.org... (RFD section) 5. . http://www.urbandictionary.com... 6. . http://www.debate.org... 7. . http://www.debate.org... 8. . http://www.urbandictionary.com... 9. . http://files.turbosquid.com... 10. . http://www5.picturepush.com... 11. . http://dictionary.reference.com... 12. . http://up.liga.ir...