Presidential Debate: Peter Griffin vs Eric Cartman

Thank you for tuning in to the second of possibly more presidential debates among some of the most well known fictional people in history who are running for President of the United States of America...... Tonight we have Peter Griffin vs Eric Cartman, who each represent the two major political parties in the race. My name is Tim Tebow, I will be tonights moderator because im still riding the bench on the New York Jets and had nothing else to do tonight.... Glory be to God!..... I will ask each side questions about domestic and foreign policy, and I do have the power to fact check any and all material in the candidates speeches and claims even though that either candidate can make up any statistic they want and it will be treated as reality simply to make the debate more interesting.... Praise Jesus! Here is how this debate will be structured....... John 3:16!In round 1 the Con can give an opening speech on his party platform, his personal beliefs, and what he feels are the biggest issues to this country and how he will address them........ Blessed are thou!In round 2 the Pro will give a much more condensed opening speech and then I the moderator will ask 3 questions about Domestic policy for both sides to answer........ Keep the Christ in Christmas!....... The Pro will open with his own positions and policies, and then the Con will introduce his own positions on the issues, propose any plans he has, and counter anything said by the Pro in the rest of round 2...... The Lord is my Savior! Round 3 will be more debating from both candidates over domestic policy who can defend their own positions or attack the other's policies.... Homosexuality is wrong!...... At the end of round 3 each candidate can give a summarization of their policy, and then the debate over domestic policy will cease...... Bible Study has been moved to 3:00 on Thursdays..... In Round 4 I as moderator will ask 3 more questions, this time about foreign policy...... Revelations 4:21....... Both candidates will again introduce their stances on the three questions, and cross examine each others stances in the rest of round 4 and round 5......... Celibacy is the way to go! At the end of round 5, both candidates must give a Bolded, 500 character or less final remark about why they should be elected president, then the debate will be concluded.......... But the spirit of Christ will live forever!........ Following the debate this program we will air footage of viewers to submit their votes for who they think won the debate and why............. Open your heart to God to find the answer! Other then that, both candidates must adhere to the rules that both sides agreed on before the debate. To the viewers, these are the rules both sides agreed upon. 1) Cursing is NOT poor conduct and is in fact encouraged2) Both sides can use any pictures they want to reiterate their stances or attack their opponent during the debate. Pictures that have been photoshopped are accepted and encouraged.3) Both sides can make references to any comments or statements made by the candidates outside of this debate. (These comments can be completely made up and they must be treated like they were actually spoken by both sides)4) Any scandals that one side brings up about the other side MUST BE ADDRESSED by that candidate. (Again, these scandals can be completely made up but the other side must respond to them)(You need 60 debates to accept but if you really want it and I think youll be good enough, Ill lower the requirement....... Con gets to choose either candidate he wants to be for the rest of the debate and will state who he picked in the beginning of his round....... It is con's job to impersonate the candidate he chooses to be to the best of his abilities for the rest of the debate. If you treat this like an actual debate then you forfeit and are officially a dumba**..... If you need a better idea of what you are supposed to do if you accept, see the last presidential debate here: http://www.debate.org...)