Writers debate

Dennis felt his pulse ballooning in his throat. The man's boots were scuffing up the linoleum in the kitchen, and each dry squeak sent a jolt through Dennis's veins. Victoria was latched on to his shoulder, fighting to keep quiet though showing her fear physically. Tremors from her arms would have rattled against the closet door if Dennis weren't holding her tight against him. The coats in the closet swung like bodies on a noose from their quick entrance, and Victoria silently prayed that they would make no sound. It distracted her mind at least while the man in the kitchen hoisted something heavy onto a surface. The old man was quit agile for his age. At 63 he could still lift the 22 year old body up onto the counter. The young woman's clothes were torn as if eaten by moths and her hair was pasted to her forehead from what seemed to be a quick dip in a pool of water. Her pale lips glistened in the harsh white light as the old man rummaged through drawers. Dennis tugged at Victoria's sleeve. His actions were at first hesitant, but he immediately took his index finger to her lips, showing her to be quiet, as he shuffled through her pockets. It was somewhere in there... His fingers touched soft lint, a couple of coins as he explored deeper... and there! Victoria's cell phone. He felt her frantically struggle against him, as if to inform him not to call anyone, but he flipped her phone open anyway. Dennis quickly mashed the buttons for her text messages as Victoria looked on curiously. ::We need to wait for him to get out of the kitchen, then run for the back door!:: The old man scratched through his stringy gray hair as he pulled the tool out of the drawer. The girl on the counter was now whimpering softly, her legs twitching like live wires as cold tears streamed down her white cheeks. The man pulled her legs straight, letting her heavy boots drop to the wood counter with a hollow thump. Victoria's body gave a jolted shiver when she heard those sobs, and Dennis's pulse, he could have sworn, was so loud that Victoria surely heard it. Vikky peered through the crack in the closet door and saw the old man's powerful body hovering over someone, but she unfortunately couldn't make out the other person. The cries, though, sounded distinctly feminine and horrifyingly in much physical pain. There was a muffled scream, and a sickening crunch and rip as the man's arm could be seen working; the muscles in his shoulders bulging like thick cable wires. Both Dennis and Victoria's cheeks drained of blood. They sat in complete silence, counting the splintering crunches for several minutes. Victoria's muscles tightened each time one of the coats in the closet smoothed against her skin, but her only facial reaction remained the expression of a thawing corpse. The crunching stopped, but Victoria continued her paralyzed gaze. One motion from Dennis changed all of this. She saw Dennis's trembling fingers reach for the door handle. Victoria's hand shot and grasped his with a new strength, but Dennis countered with a quick show of her phone's screen. ::He left the room:: Dennis was right. A quick peer through the crack in the door proved this, and though Victoria was reluctant to ever move from where she was perched, the thought of the man putting his coat away in this very closet scared her to tears. He would prepare them like Sunday dinner. She held onto Dennis's arm tightly as he opened the door with caution, making sure that every creak was kept to a minimum. Without so much as a rustle, they bolted through the kitchen hunched over, throwing themselves behind the couch in the living room. The carpet was brown like the molten dirt outside and had a soggy texture to it brought a collection of bile in Victoria's throat. The matting of liquid was something Victoria's fingers couldn't quite distinguish right away. She lifted her hand up to check her finger tips, and felt her stomach drop. Dennis heard Vikky sob softly. He watched tears stream down her blushed cheeks, and a quick curious glance at the cause caused his own eyes to swell. The crimson liquid snaked slowly, a silent spiral around Victoria's fingers. Dennis mustered all of the strength he had left. He had to get him and his best friend out of here. He knew if he let fear penetrate his being that he would be forced to experience the same end as the girl in the kitchen. The back door was just across the hall, and the hall was just across from them. It would only take two quick bounds to get out of this house and get the hell over that fence. Dennis grasped both of Victoria's hands and forced her to look at him. "We can do this," he whispered softly, and she nodded. Victoria slowly collected herself, biting down on her lip and clenching his hands right back. They readied themselves for the plunge towards the door. "On three, ok?" Dennis nodded to her request. "One...two...." Dennis's legs wobbled like rubber, but Victoria's new found determination didn't allow him to remain a straggler. Her grip on his hoodie was iron, and thankfully this allowed for Dennis to regain his footing and pound down through that never ending hallway. The portraits on the walls seemed to bellow with laughter as the two teens rushed past. The hallow eyes and the gaping mouths followed their every scurrying step. Dennis watched each painting with wide interest. They were all laughing as if something amusing were going on in this house. It made Dennis sick to his stomach after what they had seen. Then, THUMP! Dennis's eyes went wild as he collided with the hard floor. The long carpet underneath him had folded into a bump that cost them almost all of their discretion. The boy's body crumbled like a sack of mail, and the remorseless carpet underneath him scrapped the delicate skin of his face. Victoria wouldn't allow herself to panic. She grabbed at his limp arms as he reached for her and helped him to his feet. The door, luckily, was just a foot away. That old, rotted door looked like the gates to heaven at that particular moment. The door nob had been collecting rust for decades, and the wooden body of the piece was lacking any luster or life. But, for Victoria and Dennis, it was the most beautiful discovery they could have possibly laid eyes on. Vikky jerked the nob open, and the cold relief of the night air gave them hope as the crumbled back porch lay before them. They had escaped the house, and with just a leap and a bound over that fence, they would run their tails clear past this block and all the way home. The quiet night air welcomed not a single mistake of noise for the two... BBBRRRRIIIIINNNNNGGGG, BBBBBBRRRRIIIIIIINNNNNGGGG...... Dennis's glowing, ringing, vibrating pocket loudly proclaimed their presence in the back doorway. The two teens felt death, his ivory fingers groping greedily for them, approaching from behind. ______________________________________________________________________________________ FORMER PRESENTED PROBLEM: The two teens are trapped in the house with the owner and must escape. SOLUTION: Teens find their way to the house's exit. NEXT PRESENTED PROBLEM: The two teens have made their presence known with Dennis's dramatic fall in the hallway and the high pitched ringing of Victoria's cell phone in Dennis's pocket. ADDED CHARACTER: Young Woman [1] Good luck, Phil! : )