Witch Burnings Should be Legal in the United States.

"Why would we, in a time where gas prices are through the roof, want to waste fuel burning a witch? Not only that, but the wood used to kindle the fire could be put to MUCH better use. Natural resources are scarce." As a True Bible believing Christian, I have a much better understanding about the fate of this planet than any Biologist, Environmentalist, or so-called scientist because I have a personal relationship with the Fellow who created this whole place to begin with! All this hub-bub about conserving energy, and protecting the environment is enough to make me want to pull my hair out! How about you? Why should I give a lick if our thermometers are edging up a bit, when the Lord promised He is going to turn the whole dang planet into a fire ball any minute now? Who is going to protect the ice cubes in Greenland then, my friends? Satan is sending out a false anxiety, and misdirected mass-hysteria about the environment! The roots of these phony fears are planted deeply into so-called "facts" which sprout from poisonous seeds between the hot-rocks scattered across the sandy shores of the Lake of Fire. Its Satan's way of slapping Jesus in the face while he still has a chance! A-men? Glory to God! The only fact these folks should really be afraid of is the fact that if they don't believe in Jesus Christ, that our loving God is going to roast them alive in Hell for eternity! Now, if you ask me - I'd be much more concerned about what is going to happen to me for eternity than I am about what's going to happen to me in the next few years! A-men? Anyone who has read the Bible and believes every word will agree that worrying about our environment and trying to conserve energy (among other things) is an act of defiance against the Living God. Praise the Sweet name of Jesus! The Lord will take care of everything. God made the Earth and the Heavens and if He wants to destroy it all, He will! "In order to do our Christian duty, we should simply legalize witch hangings. Ropes are reusable and sturdy and economically sound. Plus, hangings are much less messy than burnings. Also a lot better for the environment because burning a witch would release all types of gases that would impact our ozone layer" Hanging witches is good, but not good enough, because it doesn't use up enough natural resources. As true christians, it is our obligation to use up as much natural resources as possible so the end times will arrive. And what a better way of using it up than burning it all! In fact, one of the things that makes folks True Christians in the first place is that we are PRAYING for the destruction of this planet. You see, God wants us to use up all the resources, because when everything is gone, it will signal the return of sweet Jesus to come kill all the Muslims, Catholics, Mormons, Hindus and Tree-Hugger-know-it-alls. If we don't end the world, God will just end it Himself. We've got to do our duty to speed up the process. The Bible says that God has given the world and everything in it for man to use. God wants us to do with it whatever we please! From Genesis, Chapter 1:26 we learn that God has given us dominion over "every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth!" So much for endangered species! That's why we have an Endangered Species Dinner each year at my Church. To celebrate God's love for wild game hunters! And show that God has given us any species or plant we want to eat, even if it happens to be the last of its kind! Glory to God! Praise the Sweet name of Jesus!