Santa Claus is Real

I will start by rebutting your argument that Santa will not give any of those super cool awesome presents to anyone. I will simply say this is not true. He just won't give them to you because you don't believe in Santa. Santa would most definitely give all those presents to me because I have faith in Santa. By the way, I did not bring up your religion in any point of the debate. At no point did I mention your religion or god or anything. I have solely spoken of Santa Claus. You must have made those connections on your own. Now, I will explain to you using extreme scientific methods why Santa exists. I know that this information will be a lot for you to take in but here it goes. Are you ready for the truth. It's about time you learned. The whole world is in on the secret except for you. Sigh Adults buy and put the presents under the christmas tree until eventually the child discovers the truth. If the child does not discover on their own then they will eventually be told that Santa "does not exist. " In reality he does exist. This obstacle is to test the faith of the children. To PUSH their faith in Santa to the very limits. When you turn 18 years old an adult will inform you of the real truth. The shocking truth. The truth that Santa is real and he was the one actually giving the presents the whole TIME! !! ! The reason that the parents had to pretend that they were giving the presents is because Santa refuses to give teenagers presents because to often they ask for drugs and other illegal things. The only way to make teenagers not request things from Santa was by having the parents pretend that Santa wasn't real so then the teenagers would immediately assume this was true. Then, when teenagers thought that Santa wasn't real, Santa could continue to give presents to younger kids who did not ask for drugs and illegal things. All adults know of Santa's existence and they know that it is their duty to make it an easier transition for their kids when they find out that Santa is a "Lie. " To make the transition easier the parents act extra suspicious, as if they were the ones actually giving the presents. There is a secret department in the government that controls all affairs and interactions with Santa Claus. The government knows that teens often use the internet to find information so they posted countless cites that claim that Santa is fake. They made up stories about children finding out about the big Santa "lie" and getting upset. Other such things to truly trick teenagers. With this system Santa Claus does not have to deal with all the drug and alcohol requests made by teenagers. To further make teenagers believe that Santa did not exist, Santa demanded that his magical elves copy the same machinery that is used in factories to make toys. This way the toys looked like they were manufactured in a factory when really they were made by the elves in Santa's workshop. This big lie has teens thinking they know the truth, but really adults and kids know the actual truth. Time for the science behind Santa. In 2004 Santa Claus accepted to be tested in a lab of science for a top secret investigation at area 51. I know because I was an intern at the time. I can not reveal too much information because I can be sent to prison for treason for revealing this information. However i am so desperate to win this information that I will reveal Santa's secrets anyway. Santa's reindeer were tested as well. First they tested Rudolf to see how he could fly. What they did was they placed the reindeer in a wind tunnel and when they cut the air surge Rudulf continued to float. I literally saw this with my own eyes. I was there. When the scientists scanned the perimeter they discovered that Rudolf used P-Waves emitted from his bright red nose to travel at a top speed of 6 billion miles per nanosecond. The P-Waves were so concentrated that it could go hyper sonic to the power of 99. This incredible validity and acceleration would surly rip Rudolf to shreds however that is not the case. We can tell from E=Mc2 that the air resistance Rudolf would feel at that speed would be the equivalent of 800 Tsar Nukes. This much friction from enertia would distort gravity to a point where time moves exactly 1 million times slower than real life. Of course this does not take into account the heat and explosive force generated. Scientists found that when gamma rays where blasted a Rudolf his fur acted as an extreme absorbent and no gamma rays escaped. This was because of his nose that shone at 80 octillion candlepower therefore all incoming disruption of atomic mass would be diluted from the light. The light was concentrated in the nose because of the immense gravity creating a black vortex that acted as an absorbent. The other rain-deer were tested to fly at the same speed however they could not do so without the guidance of Rudolf because if they flew at that speed alone they would ignite to a nebula super nova explosion due to not having a light absorber. This is the real reason Rudolf needs to lead. If he doesn't the rain deer die in a cosmic mega ton blast. Now, Santa was tested to see how it was possible for him to carry so many toys in one bag. When using uranium radiation near the bag the decay process increased dramatically. This lead to an almost full certainty that with using Newtons second law, a worm portal through time and space was the only explanation. When directed elves placed more toys in the drop compartment at the factory. These appeared in Santa's bag when needed. Now, I witnessed the scientists electrocute Santa with a series of shocks to find his ability to endure the rapid speed of particles slamming into him in the thermosphere while he sat on the back of his sled. Santa was unharmed at even the maximum level of 80 million watts. This proved that Santa could phase through electron particles at such speeds to be completely unharmed by toxic space radiation. My team and I figured out that Santa actually visits 100 houses a night meaning that one christmas night took Santa 277 years of gift giving. With time slowed down Santa can enter a house in real time and with Rudolf nearby his gravitational ionic force keep the realtime in actual in a time so slow for the rest of the world that an example would be for every month that passed for Santa would be the equivalent of 2.22 seconds for the world. The next scientific feat was find out how Santa and the rain deer could focus for 277 years in order to complete one christmas voyage. We tested Santa in a both where he had to decipher the order of pitch sounds of a sound the went of at 157 bps and he had to order the sizes of dots that appeared on a screen at 30 frames per second. Santa easily completely both these tasks at the same time with 100% accuracy. This proves absolute control over nerve functions and this could be verified when we scanned Santa's brain. Lastly we tested the materials the elves in the factory used to never corrode for so many years. We new that Santa's sleigh was made of Neuron Nova hardened Carbon Alloy and they deflected heat to stay in shape. However in the north pole this type of allow would become brittle and crack under the cold as the particles slowed to a crawl. We tested and saw that the elves used diamond machines that were laces through every particles with calcium-flouride a mixture of bone and fluoride. This type of material could last forever in the North Pole. After these tests we escorted Santa from are 51 and now he goes back to his usual job of giving kids presents.