Who Would Make a Better Husband for YYW

C1: Gay marriage and justice. YYW is picking between two worlds--one where he's in a marriage with myself, and one where he's married to Bsh. Bsh is from Maryland, a state where gay marriage is already legal. I hail from the great state of Texas, which famed statician Nate Silver predicted would be the 7th to last state to support a popular initiative to gay marriage[1]. Thus if gay marriage is legal in Texas (neg world), it's more than likely legal in all but 7 states in the country if not nationwide. Compare this to the Aff world, where a marriage between the two is possible in the status quo. Thus YYW has a moral obligation and a vested interest in negating. C2: Voting paradigmsIf YYW decides to ignore the voting paradigm where he selects from the aff vs neg world, there's only one other fair way to vote. The great debater and judge, LassiezFaire, popularized the voting paradigm of determining the winner based off pictures/names in the following RFD[2]: "I voted based on names/avatars. Grape is a pretty good name--not great, but alright. But izbo10? What a stupid name. Grape's picture is also much better. An adorable kangaroo (I think? ) vs. some boring default avatar? No contest, Grape wins this too. Overall, clear victory for Grape, 7-0. "Clearly this is the only other fair way to judge the round and will lead to a strong negative ballot. My picture is of an adorable cat being crowned king by cherubs. It seamlessly blends blasphemy, hilarity, royalty, and absurdity into a stunning visual image. YYW has gone so far as to say on my wall that he "likes it"[3]. Bsh on the other hand has a picture of a sassy looking black woman smiling condescendingly. Since YYW is a gay man he has no interest in women, and loves cats, my avatar is clearly superior. As for names, this one is obvious. My name is mysterious (a very attractive trait) that people have speculated on for literally years. It can be pronounced in many different ways, "thett" or "the tee tee" or "thetty" along with a plethora of other ways that provide a linguistic orgy of pleasure. Bsh on the other hand cannot be pronounced by even the most liberal interpretations of the English language. Just imagine their wedding, "Do you, YYW, take. .. .I can't pronounce this. .. do you take this guy as your husband? ". His name alone would ruin the wedding, and it's hard to imagine a less sexually appealing name than one you can't pronounce. Thett on the other hand practically sounds like a sex noise. It's extremely appealing. Moreover my name ends in 3. Bsh's ends in 1. 3 > 1. QED. C3: I am better A. Mystical godlike powers I will use my classical proof of godlike powers. As you read this sentence you will feel an itch somewhere on your body, I caused it. If you are still not convinced, as you read *this* sentence you will think of your mother. I planted her image in your mind. Clearly I have powers that Bsh does not. Imagine the array of carnal pleasures I can provide to my husband with using my mystical powers. Bsh on the other hand is just your ordinary guy, and a white one at that. I may be a heterosexual, but with my mystical powers I can satisfy my partner much more than Bsh could. B. I am hot Maybe Bsh is hot. We simply don't know. We do, however, have incredibly accurate testimony about how I look from when Royalpaladin met me, describing me as such[4]: "His sandy blonde hair was barely visible under a large and opulent crown, and he was wearing purple kingly robes. His eyes were as ferocious as the ocean and looked as if they could pierce you with but a glance, and they were topped with eyelashes so perfect that they looked like a butterflies wings. He was built like an NFL fullback, except even stronger and was 6 foot 3. " The testimony continued to describe me as "beautiful". I would make a fantastic trophy husband. Anyone who knows me knows how sexually appealing I am. The fact is, we simply don't know what Bsh looks like, and YYW can't take the risk of marrying him. C. Slytherin YYW is the most Slytherin son of a bitch I've ever met. I am, somewhat, one as well. As the sorting hat once said to Harry Potter "Slytherin will help you on your way to greatness". Imagine what two of us together could do! I sense a first gentleman named Thett or YYW in the White House soon enough. Bsh on the other hand is one of those fancy book larnin' Ravenclaws. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but it lacks the ambition and sexiness Slytherin has. I am sure my opponent will bring up old test results showing YYW to be a nonslytherin, but we all know in our hearts where he really belongs. D. I've been around longer YYW's feelings for Bsh are just a passing fancy and he will come to his senses soon. He cannot risk marriage to someone who's been on DDO barely half a year. In the name of kindness I will refrain from naming names, but YYW knows well that there have been DDO members that were well liked and popular like Bsh at this stage in their DDO career, who have turned out to be completely insane. Unless YYW wants to be spending all of his health insurance deductibles on mental health services, he should marry me as the safe option. C4: History YYW, I am sure, wants to make his mark on history. If he marries Bsh their political careers, should they even have any, will be in the Democratic Party. Gay people in the Democratic Party can be summed up as "been there, done that". I can swing YYW to the Republican party and we can change it for the better, together. We can be the first Republican power couple. We will be referenced in countless Wikipedia articles. Think about that YYW my love. C5: ReligionBsh is a papist. I am a protestant, just like YYW. If he wants to keep his WASP identity he surely can't have one of those non traditional, mixed religion marriages! I also come from a denomination that is much more accepting of homosexuality than the Catholic Church is. That's enough for now. I turn it over to my opponent. Also, my name ends with a 3, a needed component in my expression of my feelings to YYW <3. Sources:1. . http://fivethirtyeight.blogs.nytimes.com...2. . http://www.debate.org...3. . http://www.debate.org...4. . http://www.debate.org...