Entrepreneurs should be allowed breed hybrid hominids for profit

Since ancient times man has crossbred equine, bovine, porcine and canine animals to produce artificial species such as mules, dairy cattle, domestic pigs and working dogs. So why haven't we ever crossbred hominids? Well, although chimpanzees and humans share 96% of their DNA (1) they are physically incapable of breeding with each other in the conventional manner. However, using modern fertility techniques it is possible to remove a fertilized egg from a pregnant chimpanzee, insert human DNA into it and implant it back into the mother's womb in order to produce a human / chimpanzee hybrid – a Humanzee™. This new hominini subtribe (2) would combine the physical and mental characteristics of both species. Humanzees™ would have the physical appearance the intellectual capacity akin to that of one of humans' primitive ancestors such as Sahelanthropus tchadensis (3). This process of artificial insemination would be repeated many times using different chimps as surrogate mothers and different humans' DNA. In this way, a sustainable breeding population of Humanzees™ would be established and the offspring of these animals would then be sterilised and sold on for cash. These creatures would be in great demand: Humanzees™ would make ideal pets because they would be playful, loyal and loving. And what's more, they could earn their keep by performing simple household tasks such as washing the dishes or putting the vacuum on. Furthermore, many commercial organisations that currently employ large numbers of low-skilled workers such as factories, mines and investment banks could also benefit from purchasing Humanzees™. By divesting themselves of much of their human workforce and replacing them with specially trained Humanzees™, employers would not only avoid having to pay their workers' wages but they would also only have to conform with animal welfare legislation rather than the far more complicated and expensive health and safety regulations that apply to humans. The fact is, Western companies are currently unable to compete with firms from China and India who are able to take advantage of relatively low labour costs. However, if I get my way, all this will change. Yes, with my endless supply of affordable semi-skilled Humanzees™ I will pioneer the greatest reform of the labour market the West has seen since the industrial revolution - and make my shareholders rich beyond the dreams of Avarice in the process. However, just as the Luddites protested against mechanisation during the industrial revolution (4), I also expect objections to my business model from unenlightened sections of today's society. That as why I am appealing to you, the Debate.org voters, to pledge your backing for my scheme. So, if you are pet owner and want to replace your boring old cat or dog with a funny little monkey-man, or if you are a factory owner and want to replace your expensive, troublesome workforce with cheap and reliable hybrid hominids, or if you merely want the opportunity to make a fortune by investing in the Humanzee™ project, please show your support by voting Pro. Thank you. Sources: 1 - http://news.nationalgeographic.com... 2 - http://en.wikipedia.org... 3 - http://universe-review.ca... 4 - http://www.learnhistory.org.uk... Humanzee™ is a trademark of Eggleston's Ethical Industries Inc.