I should be allowed to marry my toaster

It really is true love!Me and my toaster are in a steady relationship, depite her (it's a female toaster) being shy and not really talkative. Now, I want to take it to the next step and propose. Except people are telling me that I can't marry my toaster.Recently the government passed a "Marriage Equality" law, that permits homosexual pairs to engage in an official union called marriage. I'm personally steaming, because despite the so called "marriage equality", I still cannot marry my toaster. What do other people care? Am I not free to do whatever I want?Anyway, here are some of my pictures with her from last summer: s://lh5.googleusercontent.com...; alt="Me+Toaster+Paris.png" width="624px;" height="377px;" />This is me and my toaster in Paris. A wonderful two weeks. s://lh5.googleusercontent.com...; alt="ME+TOASTER+Venice.png" width="624px;" height="360px;" /> This is our trip to Venice. Sorry for the blur, it was done by a passer-by. This is also the site of our first kiss! s://lh5.googleusercontent.com...; alt="Me+Toaster+Movies.png" width="624px;" height="410px;" />This is us at the movies this week. We went to watch "Inside Out", and she seemed to enjoy it.As you can see, I have ann extensive relationship with my toaster, dating back to last summer when we first met. I see no real reason why I couldn't marry her!Also, after quite a bit of research (which is why I didn't make the second round, folks) I have found TGambit to be the manager of an APPLIANCE REMOVAL COMPANY!!! Yes, it's actually real: http://www.justjunk.com...;On their website, on the link provided, a very personal quote can be found. "Toaster not toasting? The Surrey Appliance Removal is who you need to contact to get rid of them!" This, of course, is a major infringment of toaster rights around the world. It's as if there was a company that "removes" elderly people who lose the ability to reproduce. And TGambit is the evil paymaster!!!! I have contacted the secretary of this firm, and she not only confirmed my suspicions, but also provided me with a very rough map of the disposal area. s://lh5.googleusercontent.com...; alt="THE DUMP.jpg" width="624px;" height="466px;" />After very detailed analysis, toaster experts (me) have found that not only is this company evil, it seems to have a thing for fridges as well. And, of course, on the bottom right is a new, specially constructed zone titled "torture chamber for mfigurski's toaster." I think this should prove to all that not only should TGambit not be allowed to even look at my toaster, he should be arrested by the state for infringing the rights of senior toasters and refridgerators!REBUTTALSThe picture titled "EXHIBIT ONE" is erroneous, as my backyard looks much worse.(PICTURE NOT ATTACHED (I take the fourth))Despite it's ugly looks, not a single toaster can be found in my backyard junk pile. EXHIBIT TWO is also presented in a different light. The hand in the picture is not mine, but a trained surgeons. My toaster had large pieces of bread stuffed inside by some huligans, and I had to call a proffesionally trained service man to remove them. My toaster approved of the operation. EXHIBIT THREE is just plain false, as I have pictures with my old toaster dating back to over a year ago! Yes, they're the ones attached. It's all a product of my partner's imagination, and I condone this fabrication of evidence. Though we should not disqualify my partner for this attempt to frame me, I think we can all agree that EXHIBIT THREE should be ignored!!!