Review: is a bowser . 
Sentiment: negative

Review: that 's critic-proof , simply because it aims so low 
Sentiment: negative

Review: 's hard to imagine any recent film , independent or otherwise , that makes as much of a mess as this one 
Sentiment: negative

Review: castrated 
Sentiment: negative


Review: to a boatload of screenwriting cliches that sink it faster than a leaky freighter