Review: a long , dull procession of despair , set to cello music culled from a minimalist funeral . 
Sentiment: negative

Review: like a teenybopper ed wood film , replete with the pubescent scandalous innuendo and the high-strung but flaccid drama 
Sentiment: negative

Review: many clichés 
Sentiment: negative

Review: the bad sound , the lack of climax and , worst of all , watching seinfeld ( who is also one of the film 's producers ) do everything he can to look like a good guy 
Sentiment: negative


Review: madonna gives her best performance since abel ferrara had her beaten to a pulp in his dangerous game .