Why did you take so long to get home last night?


Answer: On my home from work, I decided that I should go by the grocery store to pick up some water, cheese and other groceries for breakfast. As I was getting off of the freeway I saw something out of the corner of my eye running across the sidewalk. When I stopped at the traffic light, I was able to see that there was a puppy that appeared to be lost and wandering around. I was a hurry but the pup seemed really cold and shivering. I saw that it was going into a nearby parking lot that was on my way so I pulled over. I got out of my car and carefully walked up to the puppy to see if it had a tag or any identification. Suddenly, I saw a shadow pass behind me and someone grabbed me from behind and tried to wrestle my keys away from me.
Too bad for him, he didn't realize that I'm a UFC champion. Lucky for him,  he only ended up with a missing tooth. It took a while for the police to show up so that's why I was late.