How can I ask my aging father-in-law to see the cardiologist when he doesn't want to go?


Answer: Papa, I was concerned yesterday when you started getting shortness of breath and your chest started to hurt you.  It made me really concerned for you.

Papa, I want to tell you something, I know your daughter would want to say to you, but it is really hard for her to say.  You are a strong man.  Your daughter has always seen you as a strong man.  Asking you to do something you wouldn't want to do is something she couldn't picture herself asking you to do.  Yesterday, she wanted to beg you to go see the cardiologist to check on your heart.  She knows you hate to go to the doctor.

She didn't want you to see the cardiologist because she thinks you are no longer a strong man.  It is because she loves you.  She wants you around for many years.  She wants you to be part of seeing our kids grow up.  She wants you to come to your grandkids sporting events.  

As your son-in-law, I am asking you to come with me to the cardiologist.  I'll respect your privacy.  I can come in with you or I can wait out in the family room.  You can take it one step at a time.  They will give you a few tests.  You'll get the results.  The doctor will talk to you about the results and discuss any recommendations they may have.  It is in your control to take those recommendations.  You will never loose control.

What do you think, Papa.  Can I take you to the doctor?