# Presentation: 119678

## ABUSE

**It devastates the victim**
**It does not stop on its own**
**Silence allows the abuse to continue**

## ABUSIVE HOMES

**Everyone in abusive homes walks on eggshells, hoping to keep the abuser on even keel **
**The children learn to sacrifice their joy and development to prevent tension and violence. **
**They live their parents lives, not their own**
**They have no behavioral anchors --- under-developed sense of normal, loving behavior.  **
**They have low self-esteem and feel of no value**
**Child abuse thrives on silence/secrecy**

## TYPES OF ABUSE

- EMOTIONAL
- NEGLECT
- PHYSICAL
- SEXUAL

## KNOWLEDGE  HELPS

**Bringing up children can, at times, be stressful, demanding, frustrating, tiring**

- Being aware of common situations and scenarios that cause these problems.
- Developing an “eye” to recognize  possible dangers can help parents avoid many of the traps, and help children develop in a healthy positive manner.

## CHIDREN AT RISK

**A child whose care may pose difficulties**

-  **Handicapped: physically or mentally**
** ****Colicky or illness prone**
** ****Hyperactive**
** ****Demanding, unusual need for attention**
** ****Infant with feeding difficulties**
** ****Exceptionally bright child**
** ****Previously abused child**

## CHIDREN AT RISK

**A child who is thought to be difficult**

-  **Child of  “wrong” sex **
** ****Unwanted child**
** ****Child seen as ugly, stupid, willful, bad even ****	****	****though he/she is normal **
** ****Child whose birth caused particular problems ****	****for parents**
** ****Child has physical/personality characteristics ****	****	****that “remind” the caretaker of their abuser**

## RISK ASSESMENT: Caretaker

- Immaturity
- Young and/or insecure adults may have a difficult time understanding a child’s behavior and needs.  Their own need to be cared for is so great that they may be unable to take care of the needs of the child
- Lack of parenting skills
- Adults who have had poor models for family relationships may have a far more difficult time providing a healthy environment for the children

## Unrealistic expectations
Adults who do not understand normal stages of development in children may expect them to behave in ways beyond their developmental capabilities
Unmet emotional needs
Adults who do not relate well to other adults may expect children to satisfy their needs for love, protection, self-esteem, sexual gratification
Isolation
Adults who have no support system, who are geographically or emotionally separated from family and friends, may take out their frustrations on children

- Adults who do not understand normal stages of development in children may expect them to behave in ways beyond their developmental capabilities
- Unmet emotional needs
- Adults who do not relate well to other adults may expect children to satisfy their needs for love, protection, self-esteem, sexual gratification
- Isolation
- Adults who have no support system, who are geographically or emotionally separated from family and friends, may take out their frustrations on children

## Substance abuse
Alcohol or drug abuse limit abilities to properly care for children
Mental illness or development delay
Adults with unstable psychological makeup or low intelligence may not function fully or understand parent responsibilities
Poor impulse control

- Alcohol or drug abuse limit abilities to properly care for children
- Mental illness or development delay
- Adults with unstable psychological makeup or low intelligence may not function fully or understand parent responsibilities
- Poor impulse control

## An Accumulation of small stresses
Fairly chaotic life-style
Regularly having problems 
Major disruptions in life
Death of a loved one
Divorce
Loss of job/income
significant illness to them or near relative

- Fairly chaotic life-style
- Regularly having problems
- Major disruptions in life
- Death of a loved one
- Divorce
- Loss of job/income
- significant illness to them or near relative

_**AVOID PARANOIA:**_**    LEARN TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN ABUSIVE AND “NORMAL” SITUATIONS**

## SAFE PEOPLE 

- Don’t laugh at you or belittle you
- Don’t blab things told in confidence
- Don’t abuse alcohol or drugs
- Show concern and care
- Spend time with you
- Listen to your concerns and pay attention
- Share their feelings with you
- Keep their word and follow up on promises
- Are always positive and encouraging

## LONG TERM EFFECTS

**Low self-esteem **
**Not trusting of others**
**Risky lifestyle**
**Substance abuse**
**Abusive, violent, behavior **
**Extreme depression**
**Suicide**

## TEACHING THE BASICS

- This is your body -- no one else has any rights to it
- Don’t teach blind obedience to adults
- Knowing “Good” touch and “Bad” touch
- How to move away from abusive situations
- Yelling at, hitting, belittling are not normal
- Parent’s behavioral problems are not your fault
- Children flourish in an encouraging, loving, and trusting environment

_**SEEK HELP IMMEDIATELY**_

## ACT EARLY

- Abuse is devastating for child and family
- Abuse does not stop on its own
- Damaging effects of repeated abuse accumulate
- Abused children have very severe problems (physical/emotional/behavioral) in later life

_**SEEK HELP IMMEDIATELY**_

## SUGGESTED READING

- Wednesday’s Children, Suzanne Somers