# Presentation: 492947

## Please Sit with Your Area Group

**Arrange chairs so you can all see one another**

## GROWTH DYNAMICS, INC.

## Slide 3

## Power Bar Ingredients

- Power & Powerlessness
- Complete Communication
- Managing Your Boss
- Life Balance

## 1. Power Grid

|  | Control | Influence | No Control |
| --- | --- | --- | --- |
| Act | Mastery | Persuade | Pointless Striving |
| Not Act | Abdicate
Quit | Complain | Let Go |

## Accountability Ladder

| Learn & Move On |
| --- |
| Act Appropriately |
| Own Up |
| Acknowledge Reality |
| Wait & Hope |
| “I Can’t” & Excuses |
| Blame Others |
| Unconscious/Unaware |

**Powerless**

**Powerful**

## Consequences!

| Powerless Victim |  | Accountable/Powerful |  |
| --- | --- | --- | --- |
| Short term + | Long term – | Long term + | Short term – |
| No accountability | Depression | Learning + | More work |
| No change needed | Respect – | Respect + | Conflict?
 |
| Pity from self and others | Self-Esteem – | Self Esteem + | Lose face? |
| Let self off the hook | Powerless | Powerful | Revolt? |
| Blame others | Life never changes | Expectations are met | Repercussions |

## ARS Reality

**Science is everything**
**Admin. is necessary evil**
**Caste System**
**Old-Boy Network**
**10% Overhead**
**Less resources to do more work**
**What has to give????**

## Where Are You on the Ladder?

**In what kinds of situations do you feel powerless?**
**Situation: Control, Influence, No Control?**
**What is the Reality?**
**How are you colluding with the results you are getting?**
**How can you take responsibility to get what you want?**

**Notes:**
Story
Overwhelmed and stressed out, “my time isn’t my own”
Reality: long hours, wolfs down lunch at desk, no breaks, stays late, works evenings at home and weekends, constantly responding to crises, reactive mode all the time
Situation:
	Control: personal time allocation, lunch, self care, advocacy for better deadlines, saying “no”, asking for help, self regulation
	No Control: work load
Collusion: I am not working at my best when I go at breakneck speed all day, no modulation, no rejuvenation, I don’t set clear boundaries, don’t manage my time well, don’t plan and prioritize, don’t put myself first.

## Share with Partner

**Dilemma**
**Current Reality**
**Own Up**
**Action Plan**
- Keep it simple
- Benefit to you & team
- First steps

## Power & Temperament

|  | Bear | Dolphin | Beaver | Horse |
| --- | --- | --- | --- | --- |
| Power Source | Vision, goals, right action, best for most | Vision, compassion, inspiration, influence | Details, facts, traditions, being accurate | Action in the moment, cleverness, practicality |
| Power Drain | Alone, constant people problems, blind-sided | Conflict, strife, unpleasantness, too much planning and details | Moving too fast, constant change with no support, conflict | Too much theorizing and planning, inactivity, not knowing |
| Out of control | Leaves a trail of dead bodies, oblivious of people & details, controlling | Wimps out, do it all, manipulate, oblivious of details, no goal--all people | Passive-aggressive, sabotaging, RULES, perfection | Shooting in the dark, cutting out, abandon ship, disdain for planning and inaction |
| Back on Deck | Connect with own feelings, welcome resistance, people | State wants and boundaries, plan, focus, work through conflict | State wants, slow things down, step-wise plan, clarify standards | Stay engaged, offer not-knowing, create pilots |

## Reflect With a Partner

**What makes sense to me?**
**What are my out-of-control behaviors?**
**What specifically do I need to do to get back into my power when I am out-of-control?**
**What kind of support from my fellow LAOs would be most helpful to me?**

## Area Group Sharing

**What are one or two things we could do as an Area to better support each other?**
**What agreements do we need to make so we can vent and then problem-solve?**

## 2. Complete Communication

**The Meaning of Your Communication is the **_**Outcome**_** You Get!**

## Non-Defensive Communication

**Refer specifically and only to the other person’s behavior, not their intentions (which you don’t know, anyway!)**
**You are letting them know the impact of their behavior on you–something that might be of interest and value to  them**
**You are not telling them what to do or what kind of person they are**

## DATA

**Just the Facts!**
**What would a TV camera record of the situation?**
**Point = start with a platform of agreement about the facts of the situation**
**If you can’t get agreement on the facts, ask if  you can simply proceed on the basis of your perception of the facts**

## Feelings

**Feelings get attention, since they indicate levels of intensity**
**Stating your feeling reveals the source of your motivation**
**Knowing your feelings helps you to determine what you truly want to have happen**

## Emotions

_**Glad**_**: happy, excited, pleased, delighted, joyful, peaceful, powerful**
_**Sad**_**: unhappy, depressed, grieving, down, lost**
_**Mad**_**: angry, miffed, enraged, irritated, nettled, ticked off**
_**Afraid**_**: scared, fearful, anxious, nervous, worried**

## Judgments

**The facts of any situation get quickly lost in what we make of them**
**Interpretations & conclusions**
**We make up a story about what happened and then believe the story**
**Important to let the other person know how you are interpreting what he/she did**

## Wants

**Declaring what you want, rather than what you don’t want, is an act of power**
**You may want many things; keep it simple**
**Even  though you are stating what you want, you are not making a demand**
**Especially if you want something from the other person, make sure you let that person know what you want for the two of you—to improve your relationship**

## Willingness

**In order to prove that you are not simply making a demand, state what you are willing to do to get what you want**
**Make this an act of partnership**
**At minimum you can be willing to listen to the other person and/or make time for working out an agreement**

## Using the “Wheel”

**Plan your communication so you actually say what you want and get the message across**
**Deal with a difficult situation in a good way**
**Praise someone clearly and specifically**
**Get the other person’s attention**
**Say it in a non-defensive way**
**Report the impact of the other’s behavior on you**

## Practice Communicating

**Think of a communication you have been meaning to do but haven’t done**
**Use the Wheel to plan what you’re going to say**
**Practice with your partner**
**Partner check for form to make sure the communication was clean and clear**

## Debrief with Partner

**What was it like to use this method?**
**How might you tighten your communication to make it clearer and sharper?**
**What other uses can you see for this form of communication?**
**How might you find a way to practice so you can do it naturally?**

## Area Share on Communication

**What is the benefit for us to communicate more regularly with each other?**
**What are some of the issues that we can address together?**

## 3. Managing Your Boss(es)

**How can you be in your power when dealing with your boss?**
**What tends to make you feel powerless?**
**How can you get out of feeling powerless or being a victim?**

## WIIFM

**Choose a specific thing that you want from your boss**
**What are the benefits for him/her doing what you ask?**
**How will her/his life be made better?**
**What pitfalls will s/he avoid?**
**What is in her/his self-interest?**

## Partners

**Work out a plan for managing your boss**
**What’s in it for your boss to pay attention to admin. issues?**
**How will your boss’s life be made easier for paying attention to admin. issues?**

## The Art of Persuasion

**WIIFM**
**State the benefits to the other up front**
**Plan, don’t wing it!**
**Know what you want**
**What emotion do you need to call on in order to get action?**

## Persuasion + Emotion

**Emotion...motion...****move...motivate**
**Root of all action is in emotion, not logic**
**Like, want, not like, not  want**
**Logic only explains what we want**

## Emotions

- _Glad_**: happy, excited, pleased, delighted, joyful, peaceful, powerful**
- _Sad_**: unhappy, depressed, grieving, down, lost**
- _Mad_**: angry, miffed, enraged, irritated, nettled, ticked off**
- _Afraid_**: scared, fearful, anxious, nervous, worried**

## Partner Observation/Feedback

**How moved were you to act?**
**How could your partner make a stronger case?**
**In what other areas can you  use WIIFM?**

## Area Share on Persuading

**How can you help each other be more persuasive?**
**What tools and resources do you have at hand?**
**Agreements to be more pro-active!**

## Balance and Self Care

- OR

- Which Do You Prefer?

## Life Imbalance

**I have to do it all**
**Asking for help is a sign of weakness**
**I can’t (won’t) say “no”**
**No pain, no gain!**
**I never come first**
**If you want it done right, do it yourself**

## Life Balance

**Setting Boundaries**
**Getting Perspective**
**Putting Yourself 1****st**
**Asking for Help**
**Delegating often**
**Exercising**
**Recreation**
**Pausing & Reflecting**

## LAO Peer Support

**Middles are always torn between “Tops” and “Bottoms”**
**Dysfunctional resolution for being torn is either to ally UP or DOWN**
**The job is lonely: can’t talk with anyone**
**Only appropriate resolution is to ally with your peers: They get it!**