# Presentation: 103855

## ANGER MANAGEMENT

- Barry Levine M.D.
- RMO/P  Nairobi

## ANGER IN THE FOREIGN SERVICE ENVIRONMENT

- Gov’t is a huge impersonal bureaucracy
- Increasing demands and fewer resources
- Rotation of American employees
- Stress of frequent moves and adjustments
- FSNs have to adjust to FSOs
- Two tier system between FSNs and FSOs
- Specific stressors on consular, admin, PEPFAR
- Living with terrorism and crime

## INDIVIDUAL DIFFERENCES IN HOW WE MANAGE ANGER

- Genetic or Physiological Factors
- Family Background
- Sociocultural Influences

## ANGER IN THE WORKPLACE 

-   USUALLY A COMBINATION OF INDIVIDUAL, INTERPERSONAL AND SYSTEMIC ISSUES CONTRIBUTE TO EXCESSIVE WORKPLACE ANGER

## ANGER IN THE WORKPLACE

- What can management do?
- Recognition of what can and what can not be changed
- Strength in numbers; working thru employee associations, quality of life, FSN committees
- When the problem is at the top?????

## MANAGING OUR OWN ANGER

- When is anger appropriate and useful ?
-   - directed at the offending person
-   - satisfies the need to influence the situation or correct an injustice
-   - likely to change the other persons behavior

## KEEP IT IN OR LET IT OUT???

- Suppressing anger can be bad
- for your health,
- but expressing anger can
- make matters worse!

## SWALLOWERS vs. EXPLODERS

- Swallowers:  angry feelings simmer and build up; can often be expressed with passive- aggressive behavior; thru depression; by pouting or sulking or with chronic complaining or backstabbing

## SWALLOWERS vs. EXPLODERS

- Exploders:  frequent angry outbursts will usually make matters worse; these outbursts complicate already difficult situations and can have unpleasant consequences for relationships, career and even personal liberty.

## WHAT WORKS ???????

- 1.  Preventing or dissolving anger
- 2.  Controlling the expression of anger

## Anger Management

- Techniques to manage anger need to be individualized to:
- A. The nature of the frustration that is causing the anger
- B. The personality type i.e. suppressor or exploder

## Anger Management

- Suppressors need to learn to be assertive and to express their feelings
- Exploders need to challenge irrational ideas, master relaxation techniques and self instructions, and avoid rewards from getting angry

## PREVENTING ANGER

- Relaxation
- Cognitive Restructuring
- Skill Development

## Preventing Anger

- Preparing for change
- Changing
- Accepting and adjusting
- Maintaining change

## R E T H I N K

_**R**__** **_ recognize your emotion
_**E**_** **** **empathize with the other person
_**T**_  think about your thinking
_**H**_** ** hear the other person and check out your       perception
_**I**_   integrate respect for every human into your feelings
_**N**_  notice your physical response
_**K**_  keep on the topic, don’t dig up old grudges, look for compromise, look to avoid anger triggers

## Dissolving Anger - 1

- A FEW FACTS
- I am not omnipotent
- Other people are fallible and human
- My anger hurts me much more than it hurts others

## Dissolving Anger - 2

- FIND YOUR ANGER TRIGGERS
- Triggers automatically signal “it’s time to get angry”
- Pay attention to what irritates you for 1 or 2 weeks
- Keep a list of these triggers and keep it with you throughout the day

## Dissolving Anger - 3

- Rate the Triggers on a Red Scale of 1 - 10
- Give a 10 score to triggers that evoke the most anger and a 1 score for only mild irritation
- Write down all of the meanings for each of these triggers
- Look at the meanings and if some of them begin to seem silly you are on your way!!!

## Dissolving Anger - 4

- Create a Trigger of the Week Card
- Begin with a moderate trigger in the 4 -5 range
- Write it on a card and keep it with you at all times
- Write down the significance or interpretations you normally give these situations
- List the _**costs **_of being a ‘victim’ to this type of situation on one side of the card
- On the other side of the card list ‘better ways’ to respond

## Dissolving Anger - 5

- Use the Card When a Trigger is Activated
- Each time your ‘ trigger of the week’ gets activated think to yourself: “ here we go again- my trigger has been activated and I’m reacting like a puppet”
- Take a few breaths and focus on the implications of being a helpless victim to the trigger
- Refer to the list of “better ways” and visualize how you could have responded
- Repeat these steps for each trigger on your list, one week at a time