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Table of Contents

Introduction [5](#introduction)

Trends in Marriage [5](#trends-in-marriage)

Married People Do Better [6](#married-people-do-better)

Statewide Commissions or Task Forces on Marriage
[8](#statewide-commissions-or-task-forces-on-marriage)

Oklahoma [8](#oklahoma)

Utah [9](#utah)

Virginia [10](#virginia)

Conferences or Summits on Marriage
[11](#conferences-or-summits-on-marriage)

Removing Financial Disincentives to Marriage
[12](#removing-financial-disincentives-to-marriage)

Marriage License Fees [14](#marriage-license-fees)

Florida [14](#florida)

Oklahoma [14](#oklahoma-1)

Maryland [14](#maryland)

Minnesota [14](#minnesota)

Community Initiatives [15](#community-initiatives)

The Greater Grand Rapids Community Marriage Policy
[15](#the-greater-grand-rapids-community-marriage-policy)

First Things First, Chattanooga, Tennessee
[15](#first-things-first-chattanooga-tennessee)

Families Northwest's Community Strategies, Washington State
[16](#families-northwests-community-strategies-washington-state)

Premarital and Marriage Education Programs
[17](#premarital-and-marriage-education-programs)

PREP: Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program
[17](#prep-prevention-and-relationship-enhancement-program)

PAIRS: Practical Application of Relationship Skills
[18](#pairs-practical-application-of-relationship-skills)

Couple Communication [18](#couple-communication)

Relationship Enhancement [18](#relationship-enhancement)

Divorce Busting [19](#divorce-busting)

Family Wellness: Survival Skills for Healthy Families
[19](#family-wellness-survival-skills-for-healthy-families)

Stepfamily & Remarriage Education Programs
[20](#stepfamily-remarriage-education-programs)

Stepping Together: Smart Steps for Stepfamilies
[20](#stepping-together-smart-steps-for-stepfamilies)

Strengthening Your Stepfamily [20](#strengthening-your-stepfamily)

Premarital and Marriage Inventories
[21](#premarital-and-marriage-inventories)

FOCCUS/REFOCCUS [21](#foccusrefoccus)

PREPARE/ENRICH [21](#prepareenrich)

RELATE [21](#relate)

Transition to Parenthood & Home Visitation Programs
[23](#transition-to-parenthood-home-visitation-programs)

Becoming Parents Program [23](#becoming-parents-program)

Marriage Moments: Strengthening Your Marriage As You Become Parents
[23](#marriage-moments-strengthening-your-marriage-as-you-become-parents)

Nurse Home Visitation: The Nurse-Family Partnership Program
[23](#nurse-home-visitation-the-nurse-family-partnership-program)

Mentor and Faith-Based Programs [25](#mentor-and-faith-based-programs)

Marriage Savers/Community Marriage Policies
[25](#marriage-saverscommunity-marriage-policies)

Association for Couples in Marriage Enrichment
[25](#association-for-couples-in-marriage-enrichment)

Retrouvaille [25](#retrouvaille)

Catholic Engaged Encounter [26](#catholic-engaged-encounter)

Caring Couples Network [26](#caring-couples-network)

Reconciling God's Way [26](#reconciling-gods-way)

Marriage Matters of Iowa [26](#marriage-matters-of-iowa)

Responsible Fatherhood and Marriage Strengthening Programs
[28](#responsible-fatherhood-and-marriage-strengthening-programs)

10 Rites of Passage Program, National Family Life and Education Center
(NFLEC)
[28](#rites-of-passage-program-national-family-life-and-education-center-nflec)

The Institute for Responsible Fatherhood and Family Revitalization
[28](#the-institute-for-responsible-fatherhood-and-family-revitalization)

The National Fatherhood Initiative
[28](#the-national-fatherhood-initiative)

The National Center for Fathering
[29](#the-national-center-for-fathering)

Boot Camp for New Dads [29](#boot-camp-for-new-dads)

MAD DADS [29](#mad-dads)

Marriage Education in Schools and Youth Groups
[30](#marriage-education-in-schools-and-youth-groups)

PEERS: Practical Exercises Enriching Relationship Skills
[30](#peers-practical-exercises-enriching-relationship-skills)

PARTNERS [30](#partners)

CONNECTIONS [30](#connections)

The Art of Loving Well [31](#the-art-of-loving-well)

Abstinence Education [32](#abstinence-education)

The Best Friends Foundation [32](#the-best-friends-foundation)

ReCapturing the Vision [33](#recapturing-the-vision)

Families United to Prevent Teen Pregnancy
[33](#families-united-to-prevent-teen-pregnancy)

My Choice, My Future [34](#my-choice-my-future)

WAIT (Why Am I Tempted) Training [34](#wait-why-am-i-tempted-training)

Heritage Community Services [34](#heritage-community-services)

Teens in Control [35](#teens-in-control)

Divorce Education and Mediation [37](#divorce-education-and-mediation)

The Michigan Mediation Project [37](#the-michigan-mediation-project)

Before You Divorce [37](#before-you-divorce)

Additional Marriage Education Resources
[38](#additional-marriage-education-resources)

The Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education
[38](#the-coalition-for-marriage-family-and-couples-education)

Family Information Services [38](#family-information-services)

Marriage Builders, Inc. [38](#marriage-builders-inc.)

Attachments [39](#attachments)

Contacts for Further Information [41](#contacts-for-further-information)

ACF Contact Information [45](#acf-contact-information)

Agenda from Oklahoma Governor's Conference on Marriage
[46](#agenda-from-oklahoma-governors-conference-on-marriage)

Agenda from Oklahoma Training for TANF Caseworkers
[48](#agenda-from-oklahoma-training-for-tanf-caseworkers)

#   

# Introduction

An overwhelming majority of Americans still aspire to be happily
married, yet more than three decades of high divorce rates, changes in
social norms, and changes in the structure and organization of families
make this goal seem difficult for many to achieve. In the wake of these
changes, a new consensus is emerging among academic researchers,
policymakers and advocates. This consensus finds that children fare best
when raised in a stable marriage by their two biological parents.
Furthermore, marriage benefits not only children, but adults and
communities as well. Recognizing not only changing social forces but
also the enduring benefits of marriage, state and local governments,
faith-based institutions, non-profit organizations and businesses are
developing innovative approaches to promoting safe and stable marriages.
These approaches range from changing welfare rules to developing
marriage education programs to community organizing and media and
education campaigns. This document provides a brief overview of some of
these approaches and is intended to serve as a resource guide for people
interested in promoting healthy marriages and vibrant families.

## Trends in Marriage

Over the last several decades, marriage has declined, while cohabitation
and unmarried childbearing have increased.

-   From 1970 to 1996 the marriage rate fell by a third, from 77 to 50
    marriages per 1,000 unmarried women. Similarly, from 1960 to 2000
    the proportion of married adults declined by one fifth, from 70
    percent to 58 percent.[^1]

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-   From 1960 to 1998 the number of unmarried, cohabiting couples
    increased nearly tenfold, from 439,000 to 4.2 million.[^2]

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-   From 1960 to 1980 the divorce rate rose from 9 to 23 per 1,000
    married couples before declining slightly and remaining steady at 20
    per 1,000 through 1998.[^3]

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-   From 1970 to 1994 births to unmarried women increased from 11 to 33
    percent of all births, then leveled off through 1999.[^4]

In spite of these trends, Americans still hold marriage in high regard.
Ninety-three percent of Americans rate having a happy marriage as an
important goal.[^5] The Census Bureau projects that ninety percent of
Americans will eventually marry. Of those that divorce, the majority
remarry -- typically within three years. [^6]

## Married People Do Better

Research from the fields of sociology, economics, medicine, and
psychology has found a strong association between marriage and a host of
benefits for men, women, and children. The benefits for both women and
men include:

-   lower mortality rates,

-   lower rates of chronic illnesses or disabilities,

-   higher ratings of one's own health,

-   less depression, anxiety, and suicide,

-   less problem drinking and substance abuse,

-   greater financial well-being, and

-   lower rates of intimate partner violence.

For children, growing up with married parents is associated with:

-   better physical and mental health,

-   less physical, emotional and sexual child abuse,

-   more education,

-   less criminal behavior,

-   fewer conduct disorders,

-   more stable marriages in adulthood, and

-   more career success in adulthood.[^7]

While these better outcomes may not be entirely attributable to
marriage, neither can they be entirely explained away by selection
effects: the theory that people with greater advantages -- for example,
happier, healthier, or wealthier people -- are more likely to marry and
stay married.

It is also important to note that these better outcomes do not accompany
cohabitation. Cohabiting relationships are far less stable than
marriages. Cohabitors experience less emotional and financial success
and higher rates of domestic violence. In general, cohabitors are less
happy than married people, and children living with cohabiting couples
have more behavior problems and lower academic performance than children
in married-couple families. Moreover, marriages following cohabitation
are more likely to end in divorce than marriages not preceded by
cohabitation. This is especially true when there is a series of
cohabitations.[^8]

Second and subsequent marriages do not provide the benefits to children
of intact first marriages. On most measures, children do better in
intact first marriages than remarriages.[^9] There is a clear need to
improve stepfamily functioning, prevent redivorce, increase stability,
and improve the odds for child well-being.

One way to improve outcomes for children and their families is by
educating the public about the benefits of marriage and ways to promote
and strengthen healthy marriages. This compendium provides examples of
available programs. It is not intended to be an exhaustive list, and
inclusion does not signify endorsement of a particular approach or
intervention. Instead, this document is intended to encourage state,
local and community leaders to think creatively and act collaboratively
to promote healthy marriages. The approaches in this volume range from
statewide policy changes and initiatives to local community actions to
couple-to-couple interventions. Some programs were developed by
academics based on theory and research, others by marriage and family
therapists based on research and practice. Still others grew from
grassroots efforts in congregations, community centers, court systems
and fatherhood programs. Most programs have not been evaluated
extensively. Each program is described with a brief sketch including its
purpose and operations, primarily based on materials provided by the
programs themselves. Contact information for each program is provided at
the end of the document.

# Statewide Commissions or Task Forces on Marriage

## Oklahoma

In January 1999, Governor Frank Keating laid out a series of social
goals including a commitment to reducing divorce rates by one third by
2010. Oklahoma's divorce rate, the second highest in the nation, was
believed to have serious economic consequences for children, adults, and
the state's economy. In February, the Governor and the First Lady hosted
a Conference on Marriage that launched the Governor's Statewide Marriage
Initiative. From the outset, it was planned to be a multi-sector
initiative including the religious community, businesses, government,
legal institutions, health and social service providers, universities,
and the media. The first year involved leaders from these different
organizational perspectives developing action plans that encompassed a
broad spectrum of activities across the state.

A year later, in March 2000, the Governor announced his decision to set
aside \$10 million of unspent TANF funds for use in strengthening
marriage and reduce divorce rates. The TANF funds will be used
primarily, but not exclusively, to target services for low-income
populations at greatest risk of marital instability and for whom few
services are available.

Since that time, the Oklahoma Marriage Initiative (OMI) has become a
statewide effort to promote marriage, reduce divorce, and lower the
number of children born out of wedlock. The three primary components of
the OMI are developing a statewide baseline survey, creating a statewide
Marriage and Relationship Education Service Delivery System, and
developing county-based strategies through faith-based leaders and
organizations.

##### Oklahoma Marriage Initiative Statewide Baseline Survey

In partnership with Oklahoma State University's Bureau for Social
Research, the OMI designed and completed the first state-of-the-art,
comprehensive statewide marriage survey. Residents of neighboring states
were also surveyed, to form a comparison group. Preliminary findings
include:

-   A large majority of Oklahoma adults (82%) feel a statewide
    initiative to promote marriage and reduce divorce would be a "good"
    or "very good" idea.

-   A majority of both currently married and romantically involved
    Oklahomans (65%) said they would consider relationship education to
    strengthen their relationships.

-   Over two-thirds of Oklahoma adults (69%) think divorce is a very
    serious national problem.

*Statewide Marriage and Relationship Education Service Delivery System*

A statewide Marriage and Relationship Service Delivery system has been
created to deliver skills-based and research-based relationship
education services to couples, both married and unmarried. Using the
existing government and community infrastructure of health, human
service and cooperative extension staff. A three-tier training model was
developed:

-   **State Leader Orientation**: 400 public agency administrators,
    supervisors, workers and university personnel received a one-day
    orientation on the Marriage Initiative, services and relationship
    training.

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-   **Gatekeeper Training**: All frontline staff in the seven pilot
    counties will receive a one-day, general information and orientation
    session. Key health, human service and cooperative extension
    caseworkers will participate in a two-day skills development
    institute, with a focus on how to refer couples to services.

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-   **Core Curricula (PREP) Training**: As part of the Oklahoma Marriage
    Initiative, TANF caseworkers are receiving marriage education.
    Clients specifically targeted include low-income disadvantaged
    single mothers, high-risk new parents, pre-marital and unmarried
    couples in significant relationships, and married couples. Based on
    the Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program (PREP)
    curriculum, the training will be adapted for a diverse audience and
    delivered through either a religious or a secular track. Visiting
    nurses, mental health and cooperative extension professionals who
    will provide the relationship training will receive multi-day
    training in the core curricula, including didactic, skills training
    and practice, and discussion of implementation issues. A curriculum
    advisory group will seek to make the sessions helpful and relevant
    for various populations, including mothers receiving welfare.

Included as an attachment is the agenda and schedule used in Oklahoma to
train caseworkers.

##### Involvement of faith leaders in county-based teams and strategies

Knowing that 75% of first marriages occur in a church setting, and that
67% of Oklahomans claim affiliation with a church, the Governor invited
faith leaders to join in this Initiative. In 2000, the leaders of almost
every denomination and faith throughout Oklahoma joined the Governor and
First Lady at the State Capitol to pledge their commitment to work
toward preparing couples for the complexities of marriage. These leaders
signed a marriage covenant, committing to encourage more pre-marital
counseling/education, enact waiting periods before marriage, and develop
marriage mentors within their congregations. To date 800 faith leaders
in 66 of the state's 77 counties have signed that covenant. These faith
leaders are joining with DHS, other agencies, private providers, and
others to implement county-based strategies for strengthening marriage.

## Utah

On September 18, 1998, Utah formed the first state-wide Commission on
Marriage. Governor Mike Leavitt and First Lady Jacalyn S. Leavitt
announced the formation of the Governor\'s Commission to focus attention
on strengthening marriages in Utah. The commission was charged with
gathering information, studying the best marriage-strengthening
practices in the country, and recommending to the governor and the first
lady actions that should be taken in Utah.

The Governor's Commission held a series of annual conferences on topics
such as managing differences in relationships, fulfilling marital
intimacy, dealing with in-laws, and managing finances. Speakers at the
annual conferences have included former Brigham Young University
Football Coach Lavell Edwards, Dr. John Gray, and author Dr. Stephen
Covey.

In the fall of 2000, the Utah Department of Workforce Services awarded
the Commission \$600,000 for four specific projects towards fulfillment
of TANF purpose number 4 -- encouraging the formation and maintenance of
two-parent families. The funded projects include:

-   a pilot project for engaged couples,

-   a pilot project directed at low-income families, newlyweds, second
    marriages, and cohabiting couples,

-   expanded outreach services by Utah State University Extension
    Service, and,

-   continuing and promoting of yearly marriage conferences.

Funding for the approved projects began in April 2001 and runs until
September 30, 2003.

## Virginia 

Virginia's Partners in Prevention program, begun in FY 1998, receives
\$1 million from TANF each year. The program educates young adults and
teenagers on the benefits of waiting until marriage to conceive a child
to ensure healthy, happy families. Strategies include media campaigns,
direct intervention, and public forums. The goal of Partners in
Prevention is to reduce the incidence of out-of-wedlock births in
Virginia, while also reducing the incidence of abortion.

The Virginia Department of Health (VDH) sets general policy parameters
and then allows local coalitions the flexibility to design the precise
delivery of services to meet the needs of their own communities. In
fiscal years 2000-2002, 18 coalitions, representing 48 cities and
counties, received funding. VDH requests applicants to focus on areas
such as:

-   discouraging high-risk sexual behavior,

-   delaying sexual involvement until marriage,

-   discouraging cohabitation outside marriage,

-   encouraging marriage before conception, and

-   encouraging male responsibility.

Partners in Prevention works in cooperation with such initiatives as the
Virginia Abstinence Education Initiative, the Virginia Fatherhood
Campaign, and the Teen Pregnancy Prevention Initiative.

# Conferences or Summits on Marriage

# 

To address concerns over high levels of divorce or out of wedlock
births, governors and state legislatures convened statewide conferences
and summits on marriage. In Oklahoma, a conference launched a statewide
Marriage Initiative (see above). Governors in both Utah and Arkansas
sponsor annual marriage summits to promote creative policies to
encourage, reinforce, and strengthen marriage. Materials are included in
the appendix.

Topics and speakers featured at the Oklahoma and Utah conferences
include:

-   "Why is marriage important to a society? Does marriage matter? How
    does marriage affect all citizens?" (Patrick Fagan, The Heritage
    Foundation, Washington DC)

-   "Trends in divorce in Oklahoma" (Belinda Biscoe, The University of
    Oklahoma)

-   "What can we do to promote marriage as an institution through public
    policy? How do we effectively put marriage on the public agenda?"
    (Theodora Ooms, Center for Law and Social Policy, Washington DC)

-   "Can marriage as an institution be restored? Can communities be
    re-built through relationships? Where is the hope?" (David Ferguson,
    Intimate Life Ministries, Austin, Texas)

-   "In-law relationships: areas of success and difficulty"

-   "Elements of fulfilling marital intimacy"

-   "Romance after parenthood: practical and fun ideas on how to support
    marriage from tots to teenagers."

# Removing Financial Disincentives to Marriage

A number of states have reduced financial disincentives to marriage
through changes in Temporary Assistance to Needy Families (TANF), child
support, or other program rules. Such changes have included removing
restrictions on TANF eligibility for two-parent families, eliminating
marriage penalties in calculating TANF benefit amounts, and suspending
child support arrearage collections for non-custodial parents who marry
the custodial parent of their children. Under the former Aid to Families
with Dependent Children (AFDC) program, two-parent families were subject
to eligibility restrictions that did not apply to single-parent
families. For example, two-parent families working more than 100 hours
per month were not eligible for AFDC, nor were parents who had not
worked in 6 of the last 13 quarters.

Only 10 states still restrict eligibility for two-parent families:

-   Pennsylvania

-   District of Columbia

-   Indiana

-   South Dakota

-   New Hampshire

-   Kentucky

-   Mississippi

-   Arizona

-   California

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-   Maine

Examples of changes to remove financial disincentives to marriage
include:

-   Alabama disregards the earned income of new or reconciling spouses
    for three months.

-   In Maine, stepparents of TANF children have the option to be
    included or excluded from the TANF program. Families select the
    option that is most advantageous for them.

-   In Minnesota, stepparents are required to be included as eligible
    members in a TANF assistance unit.

-   Mississippi disregards the income of a stepparent in determining a
    household's eligibility for welfare in the first six months after a
    couple marries.

-   Three tribal TANF programs in California (Owens Valley Coalition,
    Southern California Tribal Chairmen's Association, and Torres
    Martinez Coalition) provide a one-time bonus of \$2,000 to
    recipients who marry.

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-   In West Virginia, married couples receive an increase in TANF
    benefits of \$100 per month.

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-   Since 1992, New Jersey has excluded a non-needy stepparent's income
    in computing a grant, provided the household income does not exceed
    150 percent of poverty.

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-   After marriage, North Dakota disregards the income of a stepparent
    for six months in determining TANF eligibility and benefits.

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-   To promote marriage and provide a more secure and stable family
    situation, Oklahoma allows an adjustment period up to three months
    of the existing TANF benefit to be approved. The intent is to assist
    the family pay outstanding bills and gradually assume financial
    responsibilities. Receipt of an adjustment period counts toward the
    60-month lifetime limit of receipt of TANF. Income must be
    considered available to the TANF assistance unit of any non-relative
    adult(s) of the opposite sex not receiving TANF who live(s) in the
    home with the natural or adoptive parent. However, certain income
    exemptions are not applicable. If information necessary to determine
    income eligibility is not provided, the application is denied or the
    cash assistance terminated.

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-   Tennessee disregards the income of a stepparent in determining TANF
    eligibility if it is below 185 percent of the need standard for the
    household, including the stepparent.

-   Tennessee also suspends child support arrearage collections when a
    non-custodial parent marries the custodial parent of his or her
    children.

# Marriage License Fees

Several states encourage premarital education by reducing the marriage
license fee for couples who take a marriage education course and
increasing the wait for a license for those that don't.

## Florida 

Finding that "the state has a compelling interest in educating its
citizens with regard to marriage and, if contemplated, the effects of
divorce," the Florida legislature passed the nation's first marriage
education legislation, The Marriage Preparation and Preservation Act of
1998. The law provides a discount on marriage license fees to couples
who take a skills-based marriage education course. Couples completing at
least four hours of premarital skills education receive a \$32.50
reduction, paying \$55.50 instead of \$88 for their marriage license.
They may also marry the same day. Those who have not taken the four-hour
course must wait three days for their license. The law stipulates that
the course must have been taken no more than one year prior to
application date and that a certificate of completion must be filed with
the application for a marriage license. Providers must be qualified
instructors such as licensed psychologists, licensed clinical social
workers, licensed marriage and family therapists, licensed mental health
counselors, official representatives of a religious institution with
relevant training, or any qualified provider designated by the judicial
circuit. The law also mandates skill-based marriage education
instruction in high school and divorce education classes for all
divorcing couples with minor children.

## Oklahoma

In 1999, Oklahoma passed legislation to reduce marriage license fees
from \$25 to \$5 for couples who can produce a letter or certificate
documenting that they have taken a marriage preparation course. The
course and provider requirements are not defined.

## Maryland

In 2001, Maryland passed legislation modeled on the Florida legislation
that requires a minimum of four hours of marriage education and a
certificate of completion for the reduced fees with the same provider
guidelines as Florida. However, the Maryland legislation gives counties
discretion to determine marriage license fees reductions, if any, rather
than the state setting the fee reduction across the board.

## 

## Minnesota 

In 2001, Minnesota passed legislation reducing the marriage license fee
from \$70 to \$20 for couples who complete at least 12 hours of
premarital education provided by a licensed or ordained minister, a
person authorized to solemnize marriages, or a person licensed to
practice marriage and family therapy. Minnesota's law also requires the
couples to take a "premarital inventory" to assess their marital
compatibility and stipulates that the premarital preparation will
include instruction in communication and conflict management skills.

Legislators in Illinois, Iowa, Virginia, New Mexico, Arizona and Texas
have introduced similar legislation.

# Community Initiatives

## The Greater Grand Rapids Community Marriage Policy

Established in 1997, the Greater Grand Rapids Community Marriage Policy
(GGRCMP) initiative was created to elevate the status of marriage as the
preferred context to raise children in the communities surrounding Grand
Rapids.

The initiative expands the model developed by Marriage Savers and calls
on the entire community including business, civic, health, minority, and
professional leaders to actively support marriage. The initiative
focuses on strategies to raise awareness about the benefits of marriage
and provides resources for couples to effectively strengthen their
marriages. In this way, the community fosters an environment with the
greatest likelihood of ensuring the well-being of its members,
especially its children.

In the Grand Rapids' model, a community marriage policy is a set of
agreed upon guidelines for premarital preparation and community support
for marriage to which clergy, congregations, and the community
voluntarily commit.

The heart of the GGCMP initiative:

-   Encourages courtship of at least one year;

-   Promotes chastity outside of marriage and faithful marital
    relationships;

-   Expects a thorough premarital preparation process of at least four
    counseling sessions (or equivalent) utilizing religious instruction,
    premarital inventories, and intensive education;

-   Encourages enrichment events to strengthen marriages, and
    intervention services for stressed marriages;

-   Trains married couples as mentors to the engaged, newlyweds, or
    those experiencing marital difficulties; and,

-   Encourages cooperation among congregations and organizations to
    share resources and to create a positive climate in which all
    marriages are helped to succeed.

## First Things First, Chattanooga, Tennessee

This community-based, secular, nonprofit initiative founded in 1997 is
dedicated to strengthening families through education, collaboration,
and mobilization. The program

-   advocates strong, healthy, lifelong marriage,

-   promotes the importance of both mothers and fathers in the lives of
    their children, and

-   works to prevent out-of-wedlock pregnancies.

First Things First (FTF) builds bridges between sacred and secular,
public and private, and works with a wide array of partners including
government, places of worship, social service agencies, the private
sector, media, and private citizens. It builds on common concerns shared
by people of all faiths, races, and economic groups. FTF has become a
resource for the media on family issues by providing information and
story ideas an ongoing basis. The mayor, the county executive, and
community leaders participated in organization events and news
conferences. FTF purchases television time for media campaigns,
maintains a website, and issues a monthly electronic newsletter.

FTF began by recruiting volunteers and potential supporters who were
friends of board or staff, community leaders, church leaders, or leaders
in civic organizations. The organization uses volunteers in many ways,
for example, as judges for FTF's annual Father of the Year Essay
Contest, and assisting at public events. FTF trains marriage mentors at
churches and produces a Marriage and Family Resource Manual for area
church leaders.

Collaborating with Agencies and Institutional Partners. FTF partnerships
have included:

-   organizing a divorce education and mediation pilot for the county
    courts,

-   working with the schools to launch an annual Father of the Year
    Essay Contest,

-   sharing program ideas and resources with faith-based institutions,

-   involving city and county officials in FTF activities,

-   working with local business organizations to focus on
    family-friendly workplace policies, for example through recognizing
    a family-friendly business of the year,

-   partnering with the county medical society to publish a guide to
    help parents talk to their kids about sex, and

-   offering technical assistance to early childhood development
    programs on how to incorporate fathering material into their
    curricula.

######## 

## Families Northwest's Community Strategies, Washington State

This long-term campaign to create a framework for communities to build
healthy environments for marriage and families is focused on making
Washington the state with the highest marriage rate and lowest divorce
rate. Families Northwest's activities include:

-   unifying clergy, business leaders, government officials, civic
    leaders, judges, educators, counselors, youth workers and the public
    to build a foundation to support marriage and strengthen families.

-   equipping leaders (clergy, counselors, youth workers, church
    leaders, etc.) to meet the diverse relational needs and issues of
    couples, families, individuals, and young people.

-   facilitating strategy sessions among community leaders to evaluate
    community needs, determine current services, and develop plans to
    strengthen the relational health of the community.

-   creating and consulting with local leadership teams to further
    network the community, leverage local resources, and develop
    necessary services to increase the success rate and overall health
    of marriages and families.

-   embarking on a ten-year public campaign to educate, inform, empower,
    and equip leaders and the general public in the importance of
    marriage (The Northwest Marriage Movement) that includes media
    efforts, statewide participatory initiatives, targeted legislative
    efforts, and educational training.

# Premarital and Marriage Education Programs

Marriage education is a research-based approach that teaches couples how
to build and maintain healthy, stable marriages and handle marital
distress and breakdown. Research has found successful and unsuccessful
couples to have the same level of disagreement and to disagree about the
same basic issues -- money, kids, sex, other people, and time. The
difference between a happy, healthy marriage and one that is not is tied
to how the couple understands and accepts inevitable disagreements and
how they handle them.

Researchers have identified the behaviors -- or practices - that predict
success and developed educational courses and programs to enable couples
to learn how to handle differences successfully. Along with skills for
communicating more effectively, managing conflict, and working together
as a team, the courses also typically teach the benefits of marriage for
couples and their children. Some programs, adapted for particular
populations, include information specific to stepfamilies, first-time
parents, and couples dealing with substance abuse, violence, financial
difficulties, chronic illness, parenting adolescents, and sexual issues.

Although programs range from several hours to semester-long courses;
most are 8 to 20 hours long and delivered either over a weekend or one
night a week for six weeks. Programs are delivered in classroom settings
in community health centers, childbirth clinics, churches, courts,
prisons, extension agencies, schools, and military bases. There are a
small number of on-line courses and many other resources, such as books
and videotapes.

Marriage Education courses can be taught by trained para-professionals,
lay leaders, teachers, clergy, or mental health professionals. Leader
training typically takes one to three days. Some courses require no
training and are ready to teach "out of the box." Most courses are most
effective when taught in a classroom-type setting. Research to date has
found that couples learn the skills as well, if not better, in groups
than in the more expensive, labor intensive
one-trainer/counselor-to-one-couple model. These courses should not be
confused with marriage therapy or counseling. Couples don't share
personal issues or feelings in the classroom or with the group. The
classroom is used to teach couples the skills but they practice new
skills in private. One advantage of marriage education is that the
skills are beneficial for couples at any point in a relationship.
Couples preparing for marriage, newlyweds, long-married, and troubled
couples can all benefit. As a result, the courses can be adapted for
special populations -- stepfamilies, first-time parents, couples facing
long separations or recovery from a major health crisis.

Below are a few marriage and couples education programs. Each is a
comprehensive program for married or unmarried couples that teaches
skills for maintaining a lasting relationship. Each has a variety of
formats and can be taught in various settings.

## PREP: Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program 

PREP, emphasizing strategies aimed at lowering marriage risk factors and
raising protective factors to help the marriage, focuses on: effective
communication, teamwork for problem solving, managing conflict, and
preserving and enhancing commitment and friendship. PREP skills are
available in the *Fighting for Your Marriage* book and tape
series***.*** The program is widely used. For example, the military has
launched a major effort to support marriages using PREP materials and
Oklahoma's marriage initiative uses PREP. As an example of a marriage
initiative in a mental health setting, the Chesterfield County Mental
Health Center (CMHC) in Virginia offers an adaptation of the PREP
program, For Better Or Worse. The Chesterfield center is funded by
county government. There are also various PREP adaptations such
Christian PREP, Jewish PREP, African American PREP, Empty Nester PREP,
Becoming Parents PREP, etc. Basic PREP program teachers can purchase
materials to teach any of the adaptation programs.

## PAIRS: Practical Application of Relationship Skills

Practical Application of Relationship Skills (PAIRS) offers programs
ranging from a one-day workshop to a 16-week mastery course including
topics such as: increasing communication skills; understanding love and
emotion; identifying styles of behavior demonstrated while under stress;
understanding the difference between fair and unfair fighting; using
conflict resolution skills; and identifying hidden expectations in a
marriage. All courses emphasize putting newly-learned skills into
practice and all discuss communication about practical family issues,
such as money, children, sex, in-laws, housework, and fidelity. PAIRS
FIRST can be used as part of premarital preparation. Adaptations of the
PAIRS program include Christian PAIRS, PAIRS Basic (Military), and PEERS
for schools and youth groups.

## Couple Communication 

Couple Communication teaches couples to speak constructively to one
another and listen accurately and productively. The program focusing on
effective talking, listening, conflict resolution, and anger management
skills, can be employed as a method of marriage enrichment or as part of
an educational program for troubled marriages. Couple Communication can
be taught in groups of couples or to one couple at a time. Introductory
and advanced versions of the course may be taken sequentially. Over
500,000 couples in 36 states and six foreign countries have used Couple
Communication. These include couples in various economic groups, older
and younger, and couples in troubled and well-functioning marriages.
Instructor print and video materials are available in English and
Spanish.

## Relationship Enhancement 

The Relationship Enhancement program teaches communication and conflict
resolution skills in a group format that assists couples with
significant relationship problems to improve their communication skills
quickly. The course is also useful for premarital preparation. Training
for professionals or lay educators can be completed in two days.

## Divorce Busting

Michele Weiner-Davis, author of *Divorce Busting*, has developed two
teach-out-of the-box marriage education programs, Marriage Breakthrough
and Keeping Love Alive. Both include Leader\'s Manuals, can be taught by
professionals or lay educators, teach skills for finding solutions that
work with all couples regardless of cultural, socioeconomic, or
religious backgrounds, and both can be used even if only one spouse
participates. The Divorce Busting Center also offers relationship
skill-building resources including programs, books, and on-line support
groups aimed at helping couples navigate all stages of marriage ranging
from pre-marital to the brink of divorce. The programs include factual
information about the undesirable impacts of divorce on both children
and spouses to help couples think twice before leaving their marriage.

## Family Wellness: Survival Skills for Healthy Families 

Survival Skills for Healthy Families is a unique 12-hour parenting and
marriage education program that involves the whole family and teaches
practical, lifelong skills to strengthen and empower families. Laity,
ministers, educators, and mental health workers trained to present this
program have reached over a million families nationwide since 1980. The
material has been used with a variety of demographic groups including
blue-collar workers, low-income families, migrants, refugees, fragile
families, and military families. The program is taught in a group
setting including congregations of up to 600 people at a time in retreat
settings. Materials include interactive workbooks and audio and video
tapes in English, Spanish and Chinese.

# Stepfamily & Remarriage Education Programs

## Stepping Together: Smart Steps for Stepfamilies

Cornell Cooperative Extension and the Stepfamily Association of America
developed this research-based, 6-week (12-hour) educational program for
remarried couples and their children. Children and adults attend
parallel group sessions which use presentations, hands-on exercises, and
discussions. The child/adolescent groups cover: defining \"family\",
becoming a stepfamily, stepfamily stereotypes and myths, developing
empathy, conflict management, communication skills, dealing with change,
and behaviors that build strong stepfamilies. The adult groups cover:
realistic expectations, strengthening the couple connection, working
with ex-partners, understanding children and child development,
discipline styles and child behavior management, developing empathy,
defining roles and rules, conflict management, understanding financial
and legal matters, and stress management. Facilitator training requires
one or two days, depending on the family-life education experience of
trainees.

## Strengthening Your Stepfamily

This systematically organized set of readings, recordings and activities
teaches singles considering remarriage and stepfamilies to reach their
full potential for a rich family life. The program's flexibility allows
sessions to be adapted to the special preferences and scheduling needs
of the user. Kits contain all the components needed to make leading a
group easy. [Strengthening Your Stepfamily]{.underline}, the
participant's text, includes charts, chapter summaries, a "Challenge to
Conquer," an "Understanding My Stepfamily" activity, and review
questions at each of the five chapters. The Leader's Guide includes
leadership guidelines, learning objectives, step-by-step session
instructions, discussion questions, and tapescripts. The Stepfamily
Encouragement Packet offers at-home activities for practicing class
lessons in the family. Audiocassettes of dramatic vignettes illustrate
concepts and stimulate discussion. The kit also contains Publicity Aids,
Review Charts, Blackline Masters, and Pre- and Post-Assessment Forms to
evaluate the program's effectiveness.

######### 

# Premarital and Marriage Inventories

Premarital and marital inventories provide couples with an objective
assessment of their strengths and weaknesses**.** Premarital inventories
are designed to help couples discover differences in backgrounds,
individual personality traits or expectations that may cause problems
after they marry. The instruments are also tailored for married couples
and are used in marriage-strengthening efforts. Inventories are
administered to each individual in a couple separately. Results of the
comparison are the basis for premarital preparation or marital
education. Some inventories designed to be self-administered are
available on-line. The purpose of these tools is not to determine
whether two people should get or stay married but to frame issues for
discussion. The following are the most widely used inventories.

## FOCCUS/REFOCCUS

Facilitating Open Couple Communications, Understanding and Study
*(FOCCUS)* originally developed for use in Catholic premarital
preparation courses, is available in four editions: General, Christian
Non-Denominational, Catholic and Alternate (for learning impaired).
Comprising 189 questions, FOCCUS is designed to cover issues of
communication, finances, sexuality, cohabitation, and interfaith
differences. A three-hour set of training videos, scoring software, and
facilitator handbook enable people who are not professional counselors,
such as volunteer mentor couples, to administer the FOCCUS inventory and
lead discussions with couples planning to marry. REFOCCUS is a version
for use by married couples seeking marriage enrichment.

## PREPARE/ENRICH

PREPARE asks individuals in a couple planning to marry if they agree or
disagree with 165 statements in areas such as communications, conflict
resolution, finances, family of origin, and sexuality. Examples include:
I am concerned that my future spouse sometimes spends money foolishly; I
am concerned that I am marrying too soon; My family approves of my
future spouse; My future spouse and I have discussed the number of
children we want. After the couple has completed the inventory, they
meet with a counselor and review a fifteen page computer-generated
report comparing their answers. The ENRICH Couple Satisfaction Scale
measures marital satisfaction that asks questions about a couple\'s
communication, conflict resolution, roles, finances, leisure time,
sexual relationship, parenting, family and friends, and religion. A
second component, entitled Idealistic Distortion Scale, measures the
extent to which the couple is optimistic, realistic or pessimistic in
answering the questions. These materials are designed for use with a
PREPARE/ENRICH trained counselor, educator or clergy person.

## RELATE

RELATE (The Relationship Evaluation Questionnaire) is an assessment tool
for marriage preparation and marriage enrichment. The inventory is
designed for use privately or with a counselor or marital educator by
couples or individuals. The inventory results are available to the
couple in a report that includes graphs and charts displaying
information on several aspects of that couple's relationship. The
report: addresses issues of interpersonal communication; assesses a
couple's level of skill at managing conflict and building consensus; and
aims to determine how characteristics such as family-of-origin,
childhood relationships, and personality traits affect marital
relationships. RELATE is available on-line.

# Transition to Parenthood & Home Visitation Programs

The birth of the first child is the event in marriage or a relationship
most likely to precipitate separation or divorce. Taking advantage of
this "teachable moment" can increase stability in these unions by
equipping couples to manage the increased disagreements, conflict and
anxiety they face at this highly vulnerable time.

## Becoming Parents Program

The Becoming Parents Program (BPP) is a 24-hour educational program
designed for married and unmarried cohabitating couples who are becoming
parents for the first time. BPP for biological parents consists of 21
hours of classes during pregnancy, with a 3-hour "booster" session when
the baby is 6 to 8 weeks old. (Scheduling of classes for adoptive or
foster parents depends on individual couples' circumstances.) The course
consists of a series of brief lectures, videos, group discussions, and
individual and couple homework exercises. BPP's foundation is the
Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program (PREP) supplemented by
aspects of the Stop Anger and Violence Escalation Program and Domestic
Conflict Containment Program, both of which focus on managing stress and
anger and preventing physical violence. Course material is divided into:
couple care, self care, and baby care. BPP instructor training takes
three days.

## 

## Marriage Moments: Strengthening Your Marriage As You Become Parents

Marriage Moments is a marriage education curriculum designed to
strengthen couples' relationships as they prepare for the challenges
associated with becoming new parents. Marriage Moments can be integrated
into childbirth classes for pregnant couples, capitalizing on their
availability in an educational setting and their openness to change at
this important transition point in their lives. Five brief video
presentations introduce a topic, and couples are given activity
workbooks to guide their at-home, active-learning exercises. The
curriculum challenges the myth that successful marriages are rooted in
individual gratification. Rather, it stresses building marriage on a
stronger foundation of friendship and partnership of two people who
share a vision and life goals, and who nurture their partnership with
the virtues of generosity, fairness, and loyalty.

## Nurse Home Visitation: The Nurse-Family Partnership Program

The Nurse-Family Partnership program uses nurse home visitors to improve
the health and social functioning of low-income, first-time mothers,
their babies, and their families. The program operatingin more than 20
states through departments of health, nursing services, hospitals and
other organizations. Although not originally designed to encourage
marriage, rigorous evaluation revealed increased marriage rates as one
outcome of the program. Work is underway to test the integration of a
component of partner relationship enhancement and conflict management
(PREP) program into the home-visit program. This new model is being
developed and implemented as part of the Oklahoma Marriage Initiative.

Nurses work with caseloads of no more than 25 families. They make home
visits during pregnancy and continue through the first two years of the
child's life. They visit every one to two weeks, following a schedule
keyed to the developmental stages of pregnancy and early childhood.
During pregnancy, the nurses help women improve pregnancy outcomes by
helping them improve health behaviors affecting pre-term delivery, low
birth weight, and infant neurodevelopmental impairment. Nurses work with
women to improve their diets, reduce their use of cigarettes, alcohol,
and illegal drugs, identify emerging obstetrical problems, and work with
their doctors. After delivery, the nurses help parents improve their
child's health and development by helping parents provide more
responsible and competent care for their children. They also focus on
parental plans and efforts to become economically self-sufficient by
helping parents develop a vision for their own future, plan future
pregnancies, continue their education, and find jobs.

Although the program has not included an explicit focus on marriage, the
nurses work to enhance informal support for the mothers and children, by
involving fathers and other family members. The program includes a
curriculum explicitly designed to help fathers adapt effectively to
their roles. Fathers are explicitly invited to participate in the
regular home visits. They are encouraged to provide emotional and
practical support for the mother in concrete ways, accompany the mother
to the hospital for delivery, provide support and guidance to their
child, reflect on their own child-rearing histories and the kind of
father they want to be, continue their education/employment or find
work, and actively provide financial support for their families.

# Mentor and Faith-Based Programs

## Marriage Savers/Community Marriage Policies 

Marriage Savers\' primary strategies are to:

-   Establish Marriage Saver Congregations in which mentor couples are
    trained to help engaged couples prepare for life-long marriage,
    strengthen existing marriages, and restore troubled marriages.

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-   Establish Community Marriage Policies (CMPs) in which congregations
    join together with the goal of reducing the community\'s divorce
    rate. CMPs have been established in more than 150 cities in 38
    states.

Marriage Savers encourages congregations to require a minimum of four
months of marriage preparation, including a premarital inventory for
couples considering marriage, weekend retreats for married couples,
step-family support groups, and marriage mentors for young couples and
couples in crisis. Mentor couples can be trained to provide premarital
preparation, work with married couples to strengthen their marriages,
and work with couples in crisis. Couples with strong marriages that were
once on the brink of failure provide mentoring for those in crisis.
Going beyond a single encouraging weekend experience, an ongoing
couple-to-couple mentoring relationship can provide guidance from an
older, wiser couple who have suffered similar trauma, and can offer
prayer, friendship and encouragement.

## Association for Couples in Marriage Enrichment 

The Association for Couples in Marriage Enrichment (ACME) is a
nonprofit, nonsectarian couples membership organization sponsoring
activities and educational experiences run by couples for couples and
designed to teach the skills and resources to develop more intimate,
mutually satisfying marriages, and promote family wellness. ACME trains
and certifies lay leader couples to teach marriage retreats, workshops,
and community events. ACME has chapters in many cities and serves as a
clearinghouse for marriage enrichment resources. Some refer to it as the
"marriage club."

## Retrouvaille

Retrouvaille is a program for couples with serious marital problems
including those stemming from alcoholism, gambling, violence, etc. It
helps troubled couples put the past behind them and move forward
constructively and lovingly. With the help of clergy, trained volunteer
couples who have experienced severe problems themselves and almost
divorced, teach others how to repair their marriages. The program begins
with a weekend retreat and continues with 12 follow-up meetings over
three months. During the weekend, couples are taught to discuss their
problems constructively and are given opportunities to practice the
skills in privacy. Follow-up meetings with a support group of similarly
situated couples help reinforce the importance of listening and intimacy
and provide examples of how to employ communication tools for building a
stable relationship.

## Catholic Engaged Encounter

##  

This Christian marriage preparation program delivered during weekend
retreats gives couples an opportunity to talk honestly and privately and
share attitudes about expectations, ambitions, goals, money, sex,
children, family and their role in church and society. A team of two
couples and a priest share their experiences and encourage engaged
couples to examine their own relationships. The format includes
questions for individuals to answer privately and time for couples to
discuss their thoughts with each other. Although begun as a Catholic
program, it is open to people of all Christian faiths and is available
nationwide. The cost to organize or attend a weekend retreat varies
depending on the sponsoring church or organization.

## Caring Couples Network

Caring Couples Network (CCN) is a model in which married couples,
clergy, and professional counselors organize as teams in religious
congregations or community centers to serve couples and families
experiencing difficulties. The purpose of the program is to help married
couples and families in crisis and prepare engaged couples for marriage.
The CCN handbook, developed by the United Methodist Church, explains how
to: get a local network started, enlist and train candidates to be
mentoring couples, identify couples in need, and find ways to link the
local CCN network with the larger community. Teams of mentoring couples
and clergy/counselors arrange enrichment events and locate other
resources for engaged couples and distressed couples.

## Reconciling God's Way 

Reconciling God's Way is a program designed to equip pastors and mentor
couples to provide counseling services to married couples. Twelve weekly
classes are designed to help couples or individuals strengthen their own
marriage or who want to learn ways to help others whose marriage is in
crisis. The Leader\'s Kit and handbook trains pastors and couples to
lead the curriculum and to recruit support partners to mentor married
couples.

## Marriage Matters of Iowa 

Marriage Matters, an initiative of the Iowa Family Policy Center, takes
a comprehensive approach to reducing divorce and strengthening families
one community at a time. The state office supports local efforts by
bringing leaders together regularly, providing fundraising strategies,
conducting marriage saving seminars and supporting the adoption of a
Marriage Matters Agreement, a document created and adopted by a diverse
group of Christian clergy within a community which sets marital
standards and commits the faith community to:

-   Help engaged couples prepare for marriage by instructing them in the
    biblical roles and preserving the biblical doctrines of marriage,
    morality and divorce;

-   Assist newlywed couples with the tools and mentors they will need to
    build and maintain strong marriages;

-   Enrich marriage relationships; minister to troubled marriages; and
    provide support for blended families, step-families and single
    parents;

-   Encourage participation in a series of marriage-strengthening
    strategies having community-wide impact.

-   Communicate to the larger community that clergy, who perform 90% of
    the weddings in Iowa, believe in the concept of marriage and are
    serious about building up marriage relationships.

# Responsible Fatherhood and Marriage Strengthening Programs

Programs focused on promoting responsible fatherhood often include
positive male role modeling and open communication with a spouse as
essential to the identity of what it means to be a man.

## 10 Rites of Passage Program, National Family Life and Education Center (NFLEC)

## 

The 10 Rites of Passage teaches the importance of responsible
fatherhood, marriage and abstinence to at-risk, disadvantaged youth. The
program teaches responsibility to self, family and the community and
imbues students with a positive, empowering vision, long-term goals, and
skills. The Center consults nationally and internationally to agencies
and organizations on teen pregnancy prevention, father-involvement
programs for teen fathers, and on building social and community
responsibility, and self-esteem in adolescent males.

## The Institute for Responsible Fatherhood and Family Revitalization 

The goal of this national organization is to connect fathers with their
children, their families, and their communities and to increase and
support marriage. Under the Institute's approach, a husband/wife
supervisory team heads the effort in each community served, overseeing
case managers who provide intensive, one-to-one, home-based services.
The supervisory team and the case managers live and work in the
community and are available around the clock. The staff helps program
participants improve father/mother and parent/child relationships;
acknowledge paternity; provide support, and increase contacts between
parents and children. The program focuses intensely on marriage, family
formation, and building strong families. The Institute\'s approach is
based on modeling responsible fathering and marriage behaviors and
helping young fathers improve their self-esteem.

######## 

## The National Fatherhood Initiative

The mission of this non-profit, non-sectarian, non-partisan
organization, founded in 1994 to stimulate a society-wide movement to
confront the growing problem of father absence, is to improve the
well-being of children by increasing the number of children growing up
with involved, committed, and responsible fathers in their lives. NFI
conducts public education and awareness campaigns, sponsors an annual
conference and community forums, publishes a quarterly newsletter,
conducts research, works to enhance the effectiveness of public policies
in encouraging responsible fatherhood, and provides information to
organizations and to men to support fatherhood. NFI also conducts
workshops on promoting marriage in fatherhood programs by showing the
value of helping fathers who want to marry or who are married in
creating happy, healthy, mature marriages that benefit the entire
family. The workshops discuss: the importance of marriage to the
fatherhood movement; the benefits of marriage for fathers, mothers,
children, society, and fatherhood organizations; tools and other
resources to help prepare couples for marriage and strengthen existing
marriages; ways to reduce barriers in organizations to promoting
marriage. NFI has local affiliates in Pennsylvania, Texas, and Virginia.

## The National Center for Fathering

Founded in 1990, the Center conducts research, develops practical
resources, supports public education and awareness campaigns, and trains
men to be more effective fathers. Training includes on-line or group
training for fathers and training for trainers in small or large groups
-- from 25 to 1,000 or more. Training includes complete instructor
materials to equip men to train dads to be more effective fathers in
their own communities.

## Boot Camp for New Dads

Boot Camp For New Dads (BCND) was formed in 1990 to help new fathers
\"hit the ground crawling" when they are confronted with the realities
of fatherhood. A community-based program, BCND delivers support and
education for new fathers to help them adjust to parenthood. With
programs operating in over 100 communities across the country and a
network of veterans, coaches and supporters, BCND seeks to build and
sustain a vibrant new culture of fatherhood throughout America.

## MAD DADS

MAD DADS is an acronym for Men Against Destruction Defending Against
Drugs & Social-Disorder. MAD DADS Inc. was founded in May 1989 by a
group of concerned African-American men in Omaha, Nebraska. They aimed
to provide positive role models as loving fathers who were a visible
community presence against the negative forces affecting children,
families and neighborhoods. The MAD DADS model incorporates:

-   Weekend Street Patrols within troubled areas that report crime, drug
    sales and other destructive activities to the proper authorities,

-   Positive Community Activities for youth, such as block parties,
    rallies, night parades and car shows,

-   Chaperones for community events and surrogate fathers to youth at
    non-traditional times and locations, and

-   A non-traditional, 13 week, Rites of Passage program called SANKOFA
    for African-American boys, ages 6-21.

Presently, there are 57 MAD DADS Chapters in 15 states.

# Marriage Education in Schools and Youth Groups

An important category of marriage education includes approaches and
curricula designed especially for youth. These courses are based on the
idea that children and youth, just like adults, can learn skills to help
them have successful marriages and form functioning families. The focus
on teenagers is based on the belief that teaching interpersonal skills
before young adults marry helps them have satisfying marriages and
decrease the chances that their marriages will end in divorce.

The Florida Marriage Preparation and Preservation Act of 1998 mandates
marriage skills education for all 9th and 10th graders as part of their
life management classes. The law does not prescribe a specific course.
School officials are using several different packaged curricula widely
used around the country including PEERS, Connections, Partners, and
Loving Well.

## PEERS: Practical Exercises Enriching Relationship Skills

This comprehensive, sequenced program for high school students teaches
skills that can: enhance communication; help resolve conflicts fairly;
enable youth to avoid misunderstandings and violence; and promote a
respect for individual differences. The principal focus of the course is
to teach students how these communication and relationship skills can
help ensure successful marriages and fully functioning families later in
life. There is also a middle school version of the course. The program,
an adaptation of the PAIRS course for adults, is designed to be taught
in a classroom setting using brief lectures, role play in relationship
and marriage scenarios, peer coaching, guided imagery, journal writing
and group discussion.

## PARTNERS

Partners, a ten-week marriage course developed by the American Bar
Association Section of Family Law, is designed to give high school
students an understanding of the challenges in a marriage. The course,
adapted from the PAIRS program for adults, consists of: a set of print
and video materials to help teachers address topics such as choosing a
mate, communication skills, and managing stress in relationships.

## CONNECTIONS

Connections is a course composed of two units: Dating and Emotions (for
ages 13-17) and Relationships and Marriage (for ages 16-20). The course
for the younger students uses exercises designed to teach teens: how
relationships develop; effective ways to communicate; how to spot
destructive patterns; and how to deal with romantic emotions. The
marriage unit emphasizes practical tools for managing and making wise
decisions about serious relationships and covers topics like self
awareness, communication, and conflict. The materials include an
activity called the Marriage Game that illustrates what to expect in the
normal course of marriage and teaches conflict management skills.

## The Art of Loving Well

The Art of Loving Well: A Character Education Curriculum for Today\'s
Teenagers aims to promote responsible social and sexual values in
adolescents through literature that reveals the complexities of life and
relationships. The curriculum is divided into three sections: Early
Loves and Losses, Romance, and Commitment and Marriage. It includes
activities to help teens learn from their readings and from
conversations with parents, teachers and friends. The syllabus contains
41 literary selections, both classics and contemporary literature for
adolescents. The Art of Loving Well textbook is available with a
teacher's guide and video selections.

# Abstinence Education

## The Best Friends Foundation

The Best Friends Foundation is a youth development and character
education curriculum that promotes the well-being of adolescent girls
and aims to prevent teenage pregnancy by encouraging positive
alternatives to premature sexual activity and illicit drug or alcohol
use. First introduced to a class of sixth-grade girls in a Southwest
Washington, D.C. elementary school, the Foundation's programs have been
expanded to 26 cities in 14 states serving 5,000 girls across the
country. In the 2000-2001 school year, a companion program, Best Men,
began serving 150 boys in 6 schools in Washington, D.C. and Milwaukee,
Wisconsin. Best Men is similar to Best Friends, but the curriculum is
tailored to the developmental needs of adolescent young boys.

Best Friends provides adolescent girls with an intensive and long-term
youth development curriculum. Girls participate in group activities to
help them acquire sound judgment and critical thinking and life skills.
Best Friends' activities address concerns common to all adolescent
girls, including:

-   friendship,

-   love and dating,

-   self-respect,

-   decision-making,

-   physical fitness and nutrition,

-   alcohol and drug use, and

-   sexually transmitted diseases.

Girls discuss their dreams and focus on how to achieve them through
writing in a journal, watching videos, role playing games, group
discussions, and special speakers. Best Friends is a multi-year
curriculum, beginning in fifth or sixth grade and continuing through
high school graduation. Each year, girls spend at least 110 hours in
mentor and group activities. In addition, college scholarships are
offered to some program graduates.

The Best Men program provides boys with the tools necessary to help them
develop into responsible young men. It emphasizes abstinence from sex,
drugs, and alcohol and promotes the participation of adult male role
models particularly fathers and/or male guardians in the lives of the
boys. Throughout the school year, the boys meet weekly with their
mentors and their classmates.

Key components of the curriculum include:

-   respect,

-   decision-making,

-   friendship,

-   relationships,

-   alcohol and drugs,

-   fitness and nutrition, and

-   AIDs and STDs.

The program also offers weekly Tae Kwan Do sessions, a martial art that
reinforces self-discipline and promotes physical fitness. Other
extracurricular activities strengthen positive bonds among the boys as
well as with their mentors. Best Men currently works with boys in
elementary and junior high, with plans to continue through high school
graduation.

## ReCapturing the Vision 

ReCapturing the Vision has two main components. One focuses on
self-esteem and youth development, the other called Vessels of Honor,
focuses on abstinence from premarital sex. The program is taught daily
to middle-school girls as an elective class. In addition to classroom
instructions, program staff members (social workers) visit each student
at home once a month and provide support and/or referrals to local
services as needed. Through collaboration with local churches, students
also participate in after-school programs focused predominantly on
tutoring. Although girls generally spend one year in the program, some
enroll for a second year. An important component of the Vessels of Honor
curriculum is the lesson devoted to marriage. This is designed to build
girls' appreciation for the institution of marriage and stimulate their
thinking about waiting until the right moment to get married.

Additional features of ReCapturing the Vision include a teen abstinence
rally; a year-end closing ceremony for all program participants; regular
trips to cultural events; and suits for each program participant to
wear, donated by a local company each year. ReCapturing the Vision is
being evaluated as part of the national evaluation of selected
abstinence-only education programs funded from Title V.

## Families United to Prevent Teen Pregnancy

Families United to Prevent Teen Pregnancy (FUPTP) serves boys and girls
between 9 and 15 years of age who are at high risk for early pregnancy.
The program's educational and motivational approach includes: a
values-based curriculum; a peer mentoring component; parental
involvement; and a range of other activities. The program teaches
values, decision-making and goal-setting, communication and social
skills, understanding male and female reproductive anatomy and building
healthy relationships, in addition to promoting self-awareness and high
self-esteem. Through classroom and cultural activities and daily
after-school programming, FUPTP encourages teens to be more responsible
in their decision-making while instilling in them a strong motivation to
delay sexual activity until marriage.

FUPTP aims to strengthen family values and promote family unity, strong
and healthy marriages, and responsible parenting. Parents meet in groups
once a month for one hour to discuss issues surrounding premarital sex
and the weekly parent activity handouts they receive. Parents also
receive home visits to update them on their teens' progress and to
address family needs. The program includes an intensive seven-week class
(Monday through Friday) during the summer and a three-hour meeting each
Saturday during the school year. Families United to Prevent Teen
Pregnancy is being evaluated as part of the national evaluation of
selected abstinence-only education programs funded from Title V.

## 

## My Choice, My Future

The goal of My Choice, My Future is to promote abstinence until marriage
among students in the Powhatan County schools. This program is
administered as part of the health and physical education classes during
8^th^ and 10^th^ grade. Classes meet twice a week, every other week, for
18 weeks. Classroom instruction is enhanced with parent-student homework
assignments and parent educational workshops. The character-based
curriculum, Reasonable Reasons to Wait, aims to build students'
self-esteem, decision making and life planning skills, while motivating
youth to choose and maintain a healthy abstinent lifestyle. A major
component of the curriculum is a lesson on "Marvelous Marriages" and
another on "Parenthood Prerequisites." In the "Marvelous Marriages"
lesson, students learn what a marriage is, why people get married, and
what makes a marriage work. By emphasizing trust and self-control, the
curriculum supports students' understanding of sex in the context of a
meaningful, married relationship. My Choice, My Future is being
evaluated as part of the national evaluation of selected abstinence-only
education programs funded from Title V.

## WAIT (Why Am I Tempted) Training

WAIT (*Why Am I Tempted*) Training focuses on what teens are interested
in most: relationships. It demonstrates how abstinence until marriage
provides the foundation for meaningful and fulfilling relationships now
and in the future. WAIT Training recognizes that young people in today's
culture want to hear less about numbers and more about relationships.
The program emphasizes love education rather than sex education. WAIT
Training is premised on the belief that if kids are given the skills to
build effective, healthy relationships with the opposite sex, the risk
of sexually transmitted diseases, illegitimate pregnancy, and emotional
stress can be eliminated.

WAIT Training teaches teens the benefits of waiting until marriage. WAIT
Training combines a slide presentation with discussions to keep teens
actively engaged in learning. WAIT Training can be used in middle and
high school classroom presentations, all-school assemblies and youth
group functions.

Unique to WAIT Training is a two-day certification seminar that equips
abstinence educators with the knowledge and skills needed to make
successful presentations to teens. Unlike other programs, WAIT Training
aims to equip teachers with the \"whys\" as well as the \"how to\'s\" of
abstinence education. Furthermore, many of the WAIT Training exercises
are role-played by training participants to provide educators with a
better understanding of how to successfully utilize the exercises in the
classroom.

## Heritage Community Services 

Heritage Community Services provides character-based abstinence
education programs at multiple sites in 15 counties in South Carolina,
including 45 public schools and other public and private institutions in
the communities surrounding those schools. Services are provided through
regional offices at sites in Greenville, North Augusta, Florence,
Walterboro and Charleston.

The program includes: (1) abstinence education for middle and high
school students; (2) character and lifeskills education for school use;
(3) a community component involving parents, the faith community, the
media, and other partnerships. A health component for abstinence
advocacy in a clinical/medical setting is being developed.

The Abstinence Education Component is a 450-minute high-impact
curriculum delivered by Heritage Community Services staff to middle and
high school students, beginning in sixth grade and continuing, ideally,
through high school. There is currently a single core curriculum that is
adapted to the maturity of the students, and program plans include
developing follow-up curriculum.

The Character/Lifeskills Education Component, called *Heritage Keepers,*
includes a three-year curriculum designed to empower students to abstain
from risky behavior through self-control, and to accept personal
responsibility for their own thoughts, feelings and actions. The
curriculum emphasizes personal development of lifeskills to empower
students to abstain from risky behaviors and to reach their potential.
It is delivered by Heritage Community Services staff in twelve sessions
annually, and is implemented in some schools during regular class hours
and in others as an after-school club.

The Community Education Component consists of several components,
including training for community leaders, parent education about the
benefits to their children of abstaining from sexual activity outside of
marriage, identifying and educating faith leaders, educating the media,
and using the media to educate students and the public.

Heritage Community Services is being evaluated as part of the national
evaluation of selected abstinence-only education programs funded from
Title V.

## Teens in Control

The Teens in Control program is provided by staff from the Aaron E.
Henry Community Health Center in Clarksdale, Mississippi. Once a week
during a regular class period for the entire school year, the program
teaches an abstinence-until-marriage curriculum to boys and girls in
grades 5 and 6 in the Coahoma County, Tunica, and Bearden School
Districts. The modified Postponing Sexual Involvement curriculum,
supplemented by additional materials, is used for the fifth grade
program, and the Sex Can Wait curriculum for the sixth grade program.
During their two-years enrollment, students are taught the risks of
early sexual involvement, how to resist social and peer pressures, new
assertiveness skills, male and female anatomy, facts about HIV/AIDs and
STDs, their values and decisionmaking, setting personal goals, and
enhancing their self-esteem. The program serves a predominantly
African-American population in an extremely poor rural setting. Planned
expansions for the program include adding a peer mentoring component for
seventh grade students who have completed the fifth and sixth grade
curriculum. Teens in Control is being evaluated as part of the national
evaluation of selected abstinence-only education programs funded from
Title V.

# Divorce Education and Mediation

The 1998 Nationwide Survey of Court Connected Divorce Education Programs
found that in 1998, half the jurisdictions in the country required
divorce education classes for couples seeking divorce who are the
parents of minor children. Since 1998, Florida law has required all
couples filing for divorce with minor children to take a divorce
education class. In other jurisdictions, the classes are left to the
discretion of the judge or are required only when couples cannot reach
agreement or if they file for a modification to an original agreement
custody, visitation or support agreement. The courses, ranging from 2 --
6 hours, focus primarily on teaching the effects of divorce on children.

Divorce mediation is focused chiefly on increasing cooperation, reducing
litigation and speeding the process of divorce -- reducing the court
docket. It typically involves helping couples decide issues of child
custody, visitation, support and how marital property will be divided.
It's thought of by many as "divorce helper." But because, in 80 percent
of cases, one of the parties says they don\'t want a divorce, some are
proposing an expanded form of divorce mediation, one leaving the door
open for reconciliation.

## The Michigan Mediation Project 

The Michigan Mediation Project is implementing a new approach, Focused
Mediation, to teach couples skills to help them discuss issues and
manage conflict during the exploration process and post-divorce. Couples
explore the initial causes of their divorce and consider reconciliation
at any point along the way. The Michigan Project, a coalition of seven
counties headed by Judges Jim Sheridan and Helen Brown, focuses on
preventing unnecessary divorces.

## Before You Divorce

This Christian-based set of video presentations provides a \"reality
check\" for couples considering divorce which emphasizes the emotional
and financial costs of divorce for adults and children may far outweigh
the perceived benefits. The sessions help couples sort through
complicated issues in key areas affected by divorce such as finances,
physical and emotional well-being, legal issues, and effects on
children.

# Additional Marriage Education Resources

## 

## The Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education

The Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education (CMFCE) is a
clearinghouse for marriage and family education. CMFCE maintains an
on-line, constantly updated listing of resources -- curricula, classes,
training-for-trainers, books, tapes, speakers, etc. The Coalition
sponsors a FREE e-newsletter, articles, legislation, an information
archive and the annual Smart Marriages/Happy Families Conference. The
Coalition is an independent, non-partisan, non-denominational,
non-sectarian organization whose members include educators, counselors,
clergy, policy makers, journalists and community activists.

## Family Information Services

FIS provides resources for parenting, couple and family education.
Subscribers receive monthly resource packets containing ready-to-use
educational materials developed by experienced practitioners on
parenting, child development, marriage, family and youth development
topics. Materials formatted to use directly with couples or parents,
include presentation guides/modules, handouts, reprintable newsletter
articles, book reviews, practitioner-oriented research updates and audio
taped interviews with experts. Some sections are designed for parents in
special circumstances (teens, low literacy, etc.) Also available is a
5-volume Parent & Family Educator\'s Resource Library.

## Marriage Builders, Inc. 

Founded by Willard Harley, Jr., Ph.D., author of \"His Needs, Her
Needs,\" Marriage Builders is an organization devoted to helping couples
learn how to fall in love and stay in love\...forever. The Marriage
Builders website provides hundreds of articles written by Dr. Harley
which provide clear guidance on how to build and maintain a mutually
enjoyable marriage.

# Attachments 

## Contacts for Further Information

## 

Oklahoma Marriage Initiative

\(405\) 848-2171

Website: [www.okmarriage.org](http://www.okmarriage.org/)

Utah Governor's Commission on Marriage

Melanie Resse, Director

Governor's Commission on Marriage

111 State Capitol Building

Salt Lake City, UT 84114

Phone: 801-538-1533

Fax: 801-538-1304

Website: [www.utahgift.org](http://www.utahgift.org/)

Virginia Partners in Prevention

Stephanie Mayes, M.S.W.

Division of Women's and Infants' Health

1500 East Main Street, Suite 135

Richmond, VA 23219

Phone: 804 786 5916

E-mail: <PIP@vdh.state.va.us>

Greater Grand Rapids Community Marriage Policy

Mark Eastburg, PhD

Pine Rest Family Institute

300 68th Street SE

Grand Rapids, MI 49501-0165

Phone: 616.831.2622

Fax: 616.455.5360

Website:
[www.ggrcmarriagepolicy.org](http://www.ggrcmarriagepolicy.org/)

First Things First

Julie Baumgardner, President and Executive Director

701 Cherokee Boulevard, Suite 230

Chattanooga, TN 37405

Phone: 423 267 5383

E-mail: <ftf@firstthings.org>

Website: [www.firstthings.org](http://www.firstthings.org/)

Families Northwest

Jeff Kemp, Executive Director

K. Jason Krafsky, Community Strategies Director

Box 40584

Bellevue, WA 98015

425-637-5959

Email: <info@familiesnorthwest.org>

Web: [www.familiesnorthwest.org](http://www.familiesnorthwest.org/)

PREP, Inc.

Box 102530

Denver, CO 80250-2530

Phone: 800-366-0166

EMail: HREF=\"mailto:Info@PREPinc.com\"

Website: [www.prepinc.com](http://www.prepinc.com/)

For more information on the Chesterfield County adaptation of PREP:

Pat Cullen

Phone: 804-768-7229

Email: cullenp@co.chesterfield.va.us

PAIRS Foundation, Ltd.

9400 North Central Expressway, Suite 310

Dallas, TX 75231

Phone: 888-PAIRS-4U

HREF=\"mailto:Ksimpson@swbell.net\"

Website: HREF=\"http://www.pairs.com/\"

Interpersonal Communication Programs, Inc.

30752 Southview Drive #200

Evergreen, CO 80439

Phone: 800-328-5099

E-mail: <icp@comskills.com>

Website:
[www.couplecommunication.com](http://www.couplecommunication.com/)

National Institute for Relationship Enhancement

4400 East-West Highway

Bethesda, MD 20904-4501

Phone: 301-986-1479 or 800-432-6454

E-mail: <niremd@nire.org>

Website: [www.nire.org](http://www.nire.org/)

Divorce Busting Center

Box 197

Woodstock, IL  60098

Phone: 800-664-2435

Email: DBusting@aol.com

Website: [www.divorcebusting.com](http://www.divorcebusting.com/)

Family Wellness

George Doub, MFCC, MDiv and Flo Creighton, MPH, LCSW

Box 66533

Scotts Valley, California 95067-6533

831-440-0279

Email: families@familywellness.com

Web: [www.familywellness.com](http://www.familywellness.com/)

Stepfamily Association of America

800-735-0329

Email: SAA@SAAfamilies.org

Web: www.SAAfamilies.org

Stepping Together

Ron Deal, MMFT, CFLE

1601 James St

Jonesboro, AR 72401

870-932-9254

Email:rdeal@swchurchchristjboro.org Web:

[www.swfamily.org/stepfamily](http://www.swfamily.org/stepfamily)

Strengthening Your Stepfamily

Elizabeth Einstein, co-developer

This comprehensive teaching tool can be ordered through Einstein (607)
272-2552 or directly from the publisher at 1-800-328-2560.

Barbara Markey, PhD

FOCCUS, Inc

3214 North 60th St.

Omaha, NE 68104

Phone: 888-874-2684

[Email: flo@omahaflo.creighton.edu](mailto:flo@omahaflo.creighton.edu)

[Website: www.foccusinc.com](mailto:flo@omahaflo.creighton.edu)

David Olson, PhD

Life Innovations, Inc.

Box 190

Minneapolis, MN 55440-0190

Phone: 800-331-1661

[Email: cs@lifeinnovations.com](mailto:cs@lifeinnovations.com)

Website: [www.lifeinnovations.com](http://www.lifeinnovations.com/)

Tom Holman, PhD

Relate

Box 25391

Provo, UT 84602-5391

Phone: 801-378-4359

Fax: 801-378-4385

[Email: RELATE@byu.edu](mailto:RELATE@byu.edu)

Website: <http://relate.byu.edu/>

Pamela Jordan, PhD

Becoming Parents Program

Box 55521

Seattle, WA 98155-0521

Phone: 877- 586- 2778

Website: [www.becomingparents.com](http://www.becomingparents.com/)

Marriage Moments Office

\(801\) 378-5287

marriagemoments@byu.edu

Brigham Young University

350 SWKT

Provo, UT 84602

Web: [http://marriagemoments.byu.edu](http://marriagemoments.byu.edu/)

National Center for Children, Families and Communities

University of Colorado Health Sciences Center -- School of Nursing

4200 E. 9th Ave. C288-13

Denver, CO 80262

Phone: 303-315-0896

Fax 303-315-1489

E-mail: <matt.buhr-vogl@uchsc.edu>

Website: [http://www.nccfc.org](http://www.nccfc.org/)

Mike and Harriet McManus

Marriage Savers

9311 Harrington Dr.

Potomac, MD 20854

Phone: 301-469-5873

Fax: 301-469-5871

E-mail: <michaeljmcmanus@cs.com>

Website: [www.marriagesavers.com](http://www.marriagesavers.com/)

The Association for Couples in Marriage Enrichment

Box 10596

Winston-Salem, NC 27108

Phone: 800-634-8325

Email: HREF=\"mailto:acme@bettermarriages.org\"

Website: [www.bettermarriages.org](http://www.bettermarriages.org/)

Retrouvaille

Phone: 800-470-2230

Website: [www.retrouvaille.org](http://www.retrouvaille.org/)

Pat Ennis, MSW

1342 Lancaster Avenue

Syracuse, NY 13210

Phone: (315) 472-6728

Email: pat@thethirdoption.com

Website: [www.thirdoption.com](http://www.thirdoption.com/)

Catholic Engaged Encounter

Phone: 800-339-9790

Website: [www.engagedencounter.com](http://www.engagedencounter.com/)

Family Ministries General Board of Discipleship

Box 840

Nashville, TN 37202

Phone: 800-685-4370

Fax: 770-442-9742

[E-mail: mnorton@gbod.org](mailto:E-mail: mnorton@gbod.org)

Website:
[www.discipleshipresources.org](http://www.discipleshipresources.org/)

Joe and Michelle Williams

Box 1543

Modesto, CA, 95353

Phone: 800-205-6808

Email: <reconcile@pc-intouch.com>

Website: [www.bvg.org/reconcilers](http://www.bvg.org/reconcilers)

Marriage Matters of Iowa

Mike Hartwig

Iowa Family Policy Center

1100 N Hickory Blvd, Suite 105

Pleasant Hill, IA 50327

Phone: 1-800-FAMILY1

E-mail: info@iowaprofamily.org

Website: [www.IFPC.org](http://www.IFPC.org/)

National Family Life and Education Center

Charles Johnson

5711 W Slauson Ave #240

Culver City, CA 90230

310-665-1888

Fax: 310-665-1880

Email: rjnflec@aol.com

Web: [www.NFLEC.org](http://www.NFLEC.org/)

Charles Ballard, MSW and Frances Ballard, MA

Institute for Responsible Fatherhood and Family Revitalization

9300 Arena Drive, Suite 400

Largo, MD 20774-3716

\(301\) 773-2044

Website:
[www.responsiblefatherhood.org](http://www.responsiblefatherhood.org/)

National Fatherhood Initiative

101 Lake Forest Boulevard, Suite 360

Gaithersburg, Maryland 20877

Phone: 301 948-0599

Fax: 301 948-4325

Website: [www.fatherhood.org](http://www.fatherhood.org/)

Ron Nichols, Director of Training

National Center for Fathering

Phone: 800-593-3237

Website: [www.fathers.com](http://www.fathers.com/)

Debbie Sykes, Program Director

Boot Camp for New Dads

4605 Barranca Parkway Suite 205

Irvine, CA 62604

Phone: 949-786-3146

Fax: 949-786-9276

Email: <Debbie@newdads.com>

Website: [www.newdads.com](http://www.newdads.com/)

MAD DADS OMAHA CHAPTER

P.O. Box 11248

OMAHA, NEBRASKA 68111

Phone: 402-451-7169

E-mail: maddadsnational@nfinity.com

Rev. James Hunter, President

Bishop Tyler, National Chairman

Website: [www.maddadsnational.com](http://www.maddadsnational.com/)

The PAIRS Foundation, Ltd.

1056 Creekford Drive, Weston, Fl 33326

Phone: (888) 724-7748

Fax: (214) 368-1115

E-mail: <PAIRSline@aol.com>

Website: http://www.pairsfoundation.com/

Family Law Section

American Bar Association

750 N. Lake Shore Dr.

Chicago, IL, 60611

Phone: 312-988-5603

Fax: 312-988-6800

Email: <familylaw@abanet.org>

Website:
[www.abanet.org/family/partners](http://www.abanet.org/family/partners)

Kay Reed, Director

The Dibble Fund for Marriage Education

Box 7881

Berkeley, CA 94707-0881

Phone: 800-695-7975

Fax: 510-528-1956

Email: <DibbleFund@aol.com>

Website:
[www.buildingrelationshipskills.org](http://www.buildingrelationshipskills.org/)

The Loving Well Project

Nancy McLaren, Director

Boston University School of Education

605 Commonwealth Avenue

Boston, MA 02215

Phone: 617-353-4088

Fax: 617-353-2909

Website: [www.bu.edu/sed/lovingwell](http://www.bu.edu/sed/lovingwell)

The Best Friends Foundation

4455 Connecticut Avenue, NW Suite 310

Washington, DC 20008

Phone: 202-237-8156

Website:
[http://www.bestfriendsfoundation.org](http://www.bestfriendsfoundation.org/)

Jacqueline Jones Del Rosario

Recapturing the Vision

950 Hibiscus Street

Miami, FL 33157

Phone: (305) 232-6003

Fax: (305) 232-6092

E-mail: recap20@aol.com

Website:
[www.recapturingthevision.org](http://www.recapturingthevision.org/)

Families United To Prevent Teen Pregnancy

Marty Kerrigan

Phone: (414) 449-2868

E-mail: mkerrigan@internetwi.com

Website: [www.rosaliemanor.org](http://www.rosaliemanor.org/)

Gale Grant

Abstinence Education Initiative

Virginia Department of Health

P.O. Box 2448

1500 E. Main Street

Room 105

Richmond, VA 23218-2448

\(804\) 225-3697

WAIT Training

Choosing The Best

2470 Windy Hill Road, Suite 300

Marietta, GA 30067

Phone: 770-952-5251

Fax: 770-618-3014

[www.choosingthebest.org/wait.htm](http://www.choosingthebest.org/wait.htm)

Anne Badgley

Heritage Community Services

2810 Ashley Phosphate Road, B-10

Charleston, SC 29418

\(843\) 863-0508

Vicki Hearns

Program Director

Aaron Henry Community Health Center, Inc.

510 Highway 322

P.O. Box 1216

Clarksdale, MS 38614

\(662\) 624-4292

Hon. James Sheridan, JD

Rex B Martin Judicial Building

425 N. Main St.

Adrian, MI 49221

517-264-4655 f

Fax: 517-264-4774

Email: <james.sheridan@lenawee.mi.us>

Hon. Helen Brown, JD

3rd Circuit Court Training Unit

1025 E Forest

Detroit, MI 48207

313-833-2877

Fax: 313-833-5778

Judy Parejko, MS

Menomonie, Wisconsin

715-664-6137

Email: jparejko@juno.com

Web:
[www.DivorceResourceCenter.com](http://www.DivorceResourceCenter.com/)

Before You Divorce

Box 1739

Wake Forest, NC 27588-1739

Phone: 800-395-5755

Website: [www.divorcecare.org](http://www.divorcecare.org/)

Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education (CMFCE)

Diane Sollee, director

5310 Belt Rd NW

Washington, DC 20015

Email: cmfce@smartmarriages.com

Web: [www.smartmarriages.com](http://www.smartmarriages.com/)

Joan Comeau, PhD, CFLE, Director & Editor

800-852-8112 or 612-755-6233

Email: services@familyinfoserv.com

Website: [www.familyinfoserv.com](http://www.familyinfoserv.com/)

Marriage Builders

5260 Lakeview Avenue

St. Paul, Minnesota 55110

651-762-8570

Email: Admin@MarriageBuilders.com

Web: [www.MarriageBuilders.com](http://www.MarriageBuilders.com/)

Marriage Preparation Resources

1617 Iowa Street

San Antonio, Texas 78203

210-534-1129

Email: ruhnke@flash.net

Web: [www.marriagepreparation.com](http://www.marriagepreparation.com/)

## ACF Contact Information

To suggest changes to current program descriptions, recommend additional
programs for inclusion, or for further information, contact Bill Coffin
in the Administration for Children and Families at 202-260-1550 or by
email at <Bcoffin@acf.hhs.gov>.

## Agenda from Oklahoma Governor's Conference on Marriage

## 

8:30 Introduction to the Conference: Jerry Regier

Cabinet Secretary for Health and Human Services

8:40 Welcome: Cathy Keating

First Lady of Oklahoma

8:45 Introduction of Pat Fagan

Ira Schlezinger, Integris Health

8:50 Pat Fagan, The Heritage Foundation, Washington D.C.

"Why is marriage important to a society? Does marriage matter? How does
marriage affect all citizens?"

9:30 Success Story: Interview by Jennifer Eve, KOCO-TV, Oklahoma City

Ralph and LaVonne Davis, Oklahoma City

9:40 Introduction of Belinda Biscoe, Ph.D.

Mike Jestes, Oklahoma Family Policy Council

9:45 Belinda Biscoe, Ph.D., The University of Oklahoma

"What is happening in Oklahoma? Why do we have the second highest
divorce rate in the country?"

10:15 Break

10:30 Success Story

Melvin and Esther Fagalia, Shattuck

10:40 Introduction of Wade Horn, Ph.D. and Theodora Ooms

Jerry Regier

10:45 Wade Horn, Ph.D., Former Commissioner for Children, Youth and
Families, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Washington, D.C.

Theodora Ooms, Family Impact Seminar, Washington, D.C.

> *"What can we do to promote marriage as an institution through public
> policy? How do we effectively put marriage on the public agenda?"*

11:50 Success Story

Jim and Bernadette Seikel, Yukon

12:00 Luncheon with Governor and Mrs. Keating

> *"How can we restore marriage as an institution and how can
> relationships be improved?"*

Master of Ceremony: Wes Lane

*District Attorney, Director, Juvenile Division, OK County*

Invocation: Dr. Ted Kersh

*Village Baptist Church*

Keynote Speaker: Gary Smalley

Governor Keating will also offer remarks

2:00 Success Story

Don and Martha Martin, Ada

2:10 Bobbie Burbridge Lane, The Burbridge Foundation

*"Invitation for Community Participation"*

2:20 Interactive Sessions

> *"How can community leaders impact and promote marriage? What can we
> do to mobilize others?"*

3:10 Success Story

Harold and Dorothy Wilson, Lawton

3:15 Breakout Group Reports

Moderator: Jim Preist, Attorney, McKinney and Stringer

3:45 Question and Answer/Discussion

4:00 Introduction of David Ferguson, Ph.D.

Dr. Scottie Haskins, COPE, Inc.

4:05 David Ferguson, Ph.D., Intimate Life Ministries, Austin, Texas

"Can marriage as an institution be restored? Can communities be rebuilt
through relationships? Where is the hope?"

4:30 Closing Remarks: Jerry Regier

*"Where do we go from here?"*

## Agenda from Oklahoma Training for TANF Caseworkers

## 

**Oklahoma Marriage Initiative Tier 1 Training**

Monday, September 10, 2001

University of Central Oklahoma, University Center constitution Hall

100 University Dr., Edmond, OK

**Morning session**

-   **Mary Myrick, Project Director for OMI**

```{=html}
<!-- -->
```
-   **Diane Sollee, Executive Director of the Coalition for**

> **Marriage, Family and Couples Education (CMFCE)**
>
> *The Promise of Prevention: Couples and Marriage Education*

**Break**

-   **Scott Stanley Ph.D., Co-Director, Center for Martial and**

> **Family Studies, University of Denver**
>
> *Introduction to Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program*
>
> *(PREP)*
>
> *\--Research basis and Key Elements of PREP*
>
> *\--Speaker/Listener Technique*

**Luncheon in Ballroom AB**

> **Secretary Jerry Regier, moderator**
>
> **Ron Haskins, Senior Fellow, Brookings Institution and former Staff**
>
> **Director, Subcommittee on Human Resources, Committee on Ways**
>
> **and Means, U.S. House of Representatives**
>
> *Strengthening Marriage in the Nation & in Oklahoma: TANF, Couples,*
>
> *Fathers & Marriage*
>
> **Howard Hendrick, Director of the Department of Human Services**
>
> *Oklahoma Perspectives on TANF and Marriage*

**Afternoon session**

> **Linda Waite, Professor, Department of Sociology**
>
> **University of Chicago, co-author, *The Case for Marriage***
>
> **Why Marriage Matters: Benefits of marriage, negative impact of
> divorce**
>
> **Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, Oklahoma Marriage Ambassadors**
>
> *Marriage Mentoring: A Component of the OMI*
>
> ***Supporting the Marriage Initiative: Panel Discussion***
>
> **\--Peggy Butcher, Programs Manager II, OK State Dept. of Human**
>
> **Services**
>
> **\--Debra Andersen, Chief, Child Guidance Service/Family Health**
>
> **Services, Oklahoma State Dept. of Health**
>
> **\--Lynda Harriman, Assistant Director/Associate Dean, Cooperative**
>
> **Extension Service**
>
> **\--Kent Choate, Family Ministries Specialist, Baptist General**
>
> **Convention**
>
> **Oklahoma Marriage Initiative Tier II**
>
> **Pilot Counties Referral Training**
>
> Tuesday and Wednesday, September 11-12, 2001
>
> University of Central Oklahoma, University Center Constitution Hall
>
> 100 N. University Drive, Edmond, OK

**Tuesday, September 11**

**Ron Haskins, Senior Fellow, Brookings Institution and** **former
Staff**

**Director, Subcommittee on Human Resources, Committee on Ways and**

**Means, U.S. House of Representatives**

> *Strengthening Marriage in the Nation and in Oklahoma: Challenges for*
>
> *front line staff*

**Break**

**Panel Discussion: Couples, Fathers and Marriage in Low**

> **Income Communities -** *An overview of the issues*
>
> **-Hector Campos,** Education & Training consultant, HJC & Associates
>
> **-Marline Pearson,** Social Science Instructor**,** Madison Area
> Technical
>
> College
>
> **-Gladys Mosby,** Family Advocacy Program Prevention Education
>
> Coordinator/Acting Family Advocacy Program Manager at Fort Polk Army
>
> Community Service, Fort Polk, LA
>
> **-Marcia Smith,** Executive Director, Oklahoma Coalition Against
>
> Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault

**Afternoon session**

**Luncheon Speaker\*: Scott Stanley, Ph.D.,** Co-Director, Center for
Marital

and Family Studies, University of Denver

> *Overview of the Prevention & Relationship Enhancement Program (PREP)*
>
> **Box Lunches provided**

**Break**

**Tuesday Afternoon Workshops**

**How to Understand and Strengthen Relationships in Low Income
Populations**

Each workshop leader, drawing on their experience in different contexts
will address in part the following questions:

-   What are the key goals, stresses and barriers that affect
    relationships between low income men and women?

-   Which adults are most likely to benefit from referrals to skills
    workshops?

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-   Can single mothers/fathers benefit as well as couples?

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-   How can we best talk with clients about their relationships?

-   How specifically can/should we talk with men/fathers?

**Workshop 1, Hector J. Campos,** *Men, Fathers and Relationships:*

> *A Multicultural Approach*

**Workshop 2, Marline Pearson,** *Implementing PREP in Community-Based*

*Settings*

> **Workshop 3, Gladys Mosby,** *Premarital/marriage skills workshops
> with young,*
>
> *low income military couples*

**Meeting Adjourns**

**Wednesday, September 12^th^**

**Panel Discussion: Assessment, Referral and Community Resources**

Each panelist will address from their different perspectives the
following questions:

-   How to recognize potential strengths, and level of commitment to
    spouse/partner

-   How to discuss barriers to relationship stability? (economic and
    psychological)

-   How to recognize the read flag of depression, substance Abuse and
    domestic

> violence?

-   How to respond to these client problems? What resources are
    available?

**Panelists: Scott Stanley, Marline Pearson, Glays Mosby, Marcia
Smith,**

**June Elkin,** OK State Dept. of Mental Health and Substance Abuse
Services

**Moderator: Theodora Ooms**

**Don Hebbard and Christine Johnson,** Director, Bureau for Social

Research, Oklahoma State University

*Making it Happen at the County Level: Discussion and Q & A*

-   The critical importance of data and evaluation

-   The need for recording data on referrals and participation

-   Creating a Countywide OMI Coordination and Support Team

-   Identifying a team coordinator

-   Methods of communication and support (email, newsletter, periodic
    meetings)

-   Identifying specialized support services & resources (e.g. workshops
    sites:

> Possible donors)

-   Getting the word out in the community

[^1]: U.S. Census Bureau, *Statistical Abstract of the United
    States:1998*, p. 111, Table 156; and *Statistical Abstract of the
    United States: 1986*, page 79, Table 124. and, National Marriage
    Project. *State of Our Unions: The Social Health of Marriage in
    America*. National Marriage Project, Piscataway, NJ: June 2001. p.
    18.

[^2]: *State of Our Unions*. June 2001. p.24.

[^3]: U.S. Census Bureau, *Statistical Abstract of the United
    States:1998*, p. 111, Table 156; and *Statistical Abstract of the
    United States: 1972*, p. 63, Table 86; and National Vital Statistics
    Reports, August 19, 1998. Quoted in *State of Our Unions*. June
    2001. p. 21.

[^4]: Terry-Humen, E., Manlove, J., and Moore, K. *Births Outside of
    Marriage: Perceptions and Reality*. Child Trends Research Brief.
    Child Trends, Washington, D.C.: April 2001.

[^5]: Waite, L.J. and Gallagher, M. *The Case for Marriage: Why Married
    People Are Happier, Healthier, and Better Off Financially*.
    Doubleday: New York, 2000.

[^6]: Kreider, Rose M., and Jason M. Fields, *Number, Timing, and
    Duration of Marriages and Divorces: 1996*, U.S. Census Bureau,
    Washington, DC, February 2002.

[^7]: Waite and Gallagher, 2000.

[^8]: Popenoe, David and Barbara Dafoe Whithead, *Should We Live
    Together? What Young Adults Need to Know About Cohabitation Before
    Marriage*, The National Marriage Project, Rutgers, New Jersey,
    January 1999. \<marriage.rutgers.edu\>

[^9]: Cherlin, Andrew and Frank F. Furstenburg, Jr., "Stepfamilies in
    the United States: A Reconsideration," *Annual Review of Sociology*
    20: 359-381,1994 and Emery, Robert E., *Marriage, Divorce, and
    Children's Adjustment*, Second Edition, Sage Publications, Thousand
    Oaks, CA, 1999, cited in Cherlin, Andrew J., and Paula Fomby, "A
    Closer Look at Changes in Children's Living Arrangements in
    Low-Income Families," Welfare, Children, and Families: A Three-City
    Study, Working Paper 02-01, February 20, 2002.