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**Leadership Today**

> [Federal Workplace Solutions]{.underline}

## Fall 2004

**We're Listening!**

Thanks to everyone who contacted us about the first issue of Leadership
Today! You said that the electronic format provided a "quick and easy
read". You also appreciated the "Playing It Out" approach, as you'll be
sharing this with many supervisors, managers and group leaders. You
generously offered us many more of your daily "heartache" topics to
tackle. High on your list were (1) *improving communication styles*, (2)
*managing transitions*, (3) *stress and health*, and (4) *supervisory
interpersonal challenges*. In this issue, we tackle one of the latter
issues -- the employee with deteriorating demeanor, personal appearance
and hygiene.

While not as disruptive as an angry employee, the coworker with a poor
demeanor and unpleasant physical presence is also a challenging
experience. The workplace effects are the same, regardless of whether
the employee is poorly groomed, inappropriately dressed or even
over-perfumed.

**Dealing with an Employee's Poor Demeanor and Unpleasant Physical
Presence**

It can be a challenging experience to work with or manage an employee
with a poor demeanor and unpleasant physical presence. A trail of
discomfort and avoidance follows the employee wherever he or she goes,
leaving others wondering what to say or do. When the employee's
performance also slips, the supervisor hardly knows where to start
(speaking of discomfort, to avoid offending by our examples, we will be
regularly alternating our subject's gender and using initials in lieu of
names).

This issue\'s topic represents a challenging management experience: The
employee whose physical presence and declining performance impacts the
entire workplace.

**1. Challenge of the Day -- How to Approach an Employee who is
Functioning Poorly and Has a Distressing Presence**

**2. Exploring the Issue -- "F.P.", an Employee with a Deteriorating
Demeanor**

**3. Play it Out -- A Conversation with the Employee**

**4. Tip of the Day -- The Elements of Good Feedback**

**5. About this E-Newsletter**

**(1) Challenge of the Day -- How to Approach an Employee who is
Functioning Poorly and Has a Distressing Presence**

We all have expectations of how colleagues at work will handle their
responsibilities and present themselves physically to us. Everyone, of
course, evidences change from day to day. So, when encountering someone
having difficulties, most of us will just assume that things will be
better soon. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. When a
co-worker's demeanor and appearance take a plunge, it can affect other
employees by disrupting focus and teamwork. And, if things don't get
better, it probably means the employee has problems that are not being
addressed. When the employee represents the organization to others, this
becomes yet another reason to act promptly.

What to do? We have to address the issues as we observe them. And yes,
talking about some problems can be even more uncomfortable if the
employee is of the opposite gender. But, regardless of the anticipated
awkwardness of the conversation, it's crucial to undertake it.

**(2) Exploring the Issue -- "F.P.", an Employee who is Functioning
Poorly and Has a Deteriorating Demeanor**

This situation, submitted by a concerned supervisor, describes a common
problem:

**Q.** I have supervised F.P., a clerk with customer contact, for over
fifteen years. Her

performance has always been adequate, but I have observed some unwelcome

changes in the past four to six months. For starters, she's making many
more errors

than she used to. She forgot to do her bi-monthly report twice within
the past two

months. Those she submitted have been full of errors. And today, a very
angry

customer called me because F.P. failed to return his call after she
promised to help

resolve a major problem for him. I spoke with her about it, and she just
said she

must have lost the message. When I talked to her about these errors, she
didn't look

at me: she just frowned, which she seems to do a lot lately.
Accompanying all of

this, there's a real problem with personal hygiene. Over the past
several months, she

has begun to radiate an increasingly objectionable odor. I have heard
employees

talking about it and some say it's probably due to her sharing a very
small apartment

with six cats. She is also "slipping" on other aspects of her grooming.
Her hair can

look like she hasn't washed it for days and her clothes are often dirty
and disheveled.

I frankly wish I could ignore all of this, but we can't afford to wait
and see what

happens next. Should I talk with her just about her errors and ignore
the hygiene

and other issues?

**A.** No one likes to bring errors to the attention of employees. And,
few subjects are as difficult or as sensitive as personal hygiene and
appearance. In addition to avoiding topics that are socially taboo, we
all hate to risk wounding someone's self-esteem. So it would be natural
to try to avoid this portion of the problem. Yet, you are observing a
number of changes in her behavior. To ignore any part of the changes
does not help the employee, her colleagues or customers. You'll need to
address your concerns about her overall pattern of behavior - her
errors, appearance and the odor problem.

To avoid "freezing up" or stuttering mindlessly about the most sensitive
areas, keep in mind the principle of "if it were me": If you had all of
these problems, you would want -- or certainly would need -- to know, so
you could do something about it.

As always, planning your conversation is of utmost importance. Resources
for you in

this process are your supervisor, your human resources professional and
the

Employee Assistance Program (EAP).

• Let your own supervisor know about your observations and concerns and
get his or her

advice.

• From your human resources staff, you should obtain important
information about your

organization\'s practices for handling employee performance and
behavioral issues,

including when to make your EAP referral "formal and written" versus
"informal".

• Since you will be recommending that "F.P." consult with the EAP, it's
particularly

important to coordinate with the EAP beforehand. Be sure and share your
written notes

on the employee's errors and other behaviors, and be sure to include
your impressions

and experience in speaking with her about them. The EAP will be able to
advise you on

the best way to make the referral, including steps to take and
follow-up.

Try to avoid discussing the issue with other staff. If they bring it up,
however, you

can certainly listen to their concerns and incorporate them in your
decisions.

During the conversation, try not to diagnose or speculate on the cause
of the

employee's situation. Your goal is to relate to her as a fellow human
being and

motivate her to take action.

As always, the challenge is to balance sensitivity with directness. And
remember,

don't argue, just share information. See how this approach might \'play
out\' below:

**(3) Play it Out -- A Conversation with the Employee**

+-----------------------------------+-----------------------------------+
| **The Dynamics**                  | **The Conversation**              |
|                                   |                                   |
| Select a day and time when F.P.   | "F.P., can we talk for a few      |
| appears to be at ease. Perhaps it | minutes? There's something I need |
| will be when she has a lighter    | to ask of you. How about our      |
| workload, or when customer        | having a chat in here?"           |
| contact is lowest. You want to    |                                   |
| avoid raising her anxiety level   | "F.P. we've been working together |
| and calling her co-workers'       | for about fifteen years. I know   |
| attention to your conversation.   | that you take your job seriously  |
| If possible, pick a time when few | and try to give the best possible |
| people are near her work area to  | service to our customers."        |
| overhear your query. In a         |                                   |
| pleasant, quiet tone, ask if she  | "I don't want to make you         |
| can take a brief break from her   | uncomfortable but I need to talk  |
| work in order to go over a few    | to you about some changes I have  |
| issues with you. Have a private   | noticed in you."                  |
| location selected where you can   |                                   |
| have an uninterrupted, quiet      | "Over the last four months or so, |
| talk. If you use an office, try   | I\'ve seen quite a few errors in  |
| to avoid sitting behind a desk,   | your work, as well as             |
| which can be alienating in that   | forgetfulness and changes in your |
| it symbolizes your authority over |                                   |
| her.                              | appearance. This has concerned    |
|                                   | me. The                           |
| Wherever you are, try to arrange  |                                   |
| a nearby area for private         | phone call I received yesterday   |
| telephone access, in case she     | from the                          |
| agrees to contact the EAP at the  |                                   |
| end of your conversation.         | angry customer has made me even   |
|                                   | more                              |
| Let her know that you value her   |                                   |
| contribution to the group's work. | concerned. You and I spoke on     |
|                                   | September 3rd and October 10th    |
| Let her know you have to bring    | about your forgetting the         |
| something to her attention that   | bimonthly reports and having more |
| is sensitive and you value her    | errors in them. It's now late     |
| feelings.                         | November and problems are still   |
|                                   | occurring. It's not like you to   |
| Stay relaxed while choosing your  | completely forget someone you     |
| words to balance sensitivity with | have promised to help, F.P. Do    |
| honesty. You will speak most      | you have any thoughts as to what  |
| effectively about your own        | might be happening with you?"     |
| observations, rather than others. |                                   |
| Present her with a clear,         |                                   |
| objective picture of the problems |                                   |
| and what you have done to try to  |                                   |
| help her be aware of them. Give   |                                   |
| her a chance to give you her      |                                   |
| perceptions and be quiet while    |                                   |
| she does.                         |                                   |
+-----------------------------------+-----------------------------------+
| If she has thoughts on what is    | "Well, I am afraid I'm just not   |
| wrong, let her express them.      | concentrating as well as I used   |
|                                   | to. I'm tired a lot. If only I    |
| Acknowledge her contribution but  | could get better sleep...."       |
| don't let it deter you from       |                                   |
| giving her all the information    | "So you're not sleeping well and  |
| you need to. Breaking up the      | are tired a lot. That never       |
| negative information into two     | helps, does it? I also have to    |
| "packets" may allow her to hear   | tell you that I have noticed      |
| more of it with less              | other changes that trouble me. It |
| defensiveness.                    | seems to me that your physical    |
|                                   | appearance isn't up to your usual |
| Pause and give her a chance to    | standards. It seems like your     |
| respond.                          | clothes are not always fresh and  |
|                                   | you're not grooming your hair as  |
| Really listen to what she says.   | well as you used to. And I have   |
|                                   | to say that, in the last several  |
| Again, be frank, but show your    | months, I have noticed an odor    |
| concern.                          | that is on your person. I am      |
|                                   |                                   |
| Remember not to argue or involve  | not sure what the cause is, but I |
| other                             | am                                |
|                                   |                                   |
| individuals who don't wish to be  | concerned and would like to help  |
| identified.                       | you get it resolved. Were you     |
|                                   | aware of any of this?"            |
| You can repeat information you    |                                   |
| have already given.               | "No. No one has ever said         |
|                                   | anything like that to me! And I   |
| She may still deny awareness or   | haven't noticed anyone            |
| become                            |                                   |
|                                   | reacting to me strangely - not at |
| defensive, in spite of your best  | all.                              |
| efforts.                          |                                   |
|                                   | Has anyone else complained? When  |
|                                   | have                              |
|                                   |                                   |
|                                   | you noticed this?" \"             |
|                                   |                                   |
|                                   | "I have noticed it nearly every   |
|                                   | day and it                        |
|                                   |                                   |
|                                   | seems to be getting worse. I have |
|                                   | a sense that others notice, but   |
|                                   | can't speak for anyone else.      |
|                                   |                                   |
|                                   | People don't want to hurt your    |
|                                   | feelings, F.P. I have no idea     |
|                                   | what the problem is and don't     |
|                                   | think it makes sense to even      |
|                                   | guess. I would just like to see   |
|                                   | you get some help."               |
|                                   |                                   |
|                                   | "Well, I *have* been cleaning my  |
|                                   | apartment quite a bit lately and  |
|                                   | may have had some cat smells on   |
|                                   | me. And also, I guess I may be    |
|                                   | smoking more than usual. I'm      |
|                                   | afraid I don't notice these       |
|                                   | smells anymore. What are you      |
|                                   | saying I should do about this     |
|                                   | problem I'm not even sure I       |
|                                   | have?"                            |
+-----------------------------------+-----------------------------------+
| Let her know that you understand  | "It may be really hard for you to |
| it is                             | evaluate all of this on your own  |
|                                   | -- it would be for me, too! I     |
| difficult for her to judge her    | think that the best way is for    |
| own problem, and think it wise    | you is to get some objective,     |
| that she get help in this         | professional advice. To help you  |
| process. This is a good time to   | understand my thinking, I've      |
| talk about the value of the EAP.  | written out my reasons for being  |
| Offer her an EAP brochure and an  | concerned and for referring you   |
| immediate chance to get started   | to the EAP.\" (Give her a copy of |
| with a consultation. Let her know | the document you have developed   |
| that the EAP will try to match    | with your supervisor and Human    |
| any special requests for gender   | Resources.)                       |
| and background of counselor.      |                                   |
|                                   | \"I also have to tell you that,   |
| You may have received counsel     | because the                       |
| from those you consulted to make  |                                   |
| this a formal, written EAP        | office needs you performing as    |
| referral, since job performance   | you once did, without errors and  |
| is an issue and you have verbally | forgetfulness, I may have to take |
| counseled her several times with  | disciplinary steps if you don't   |
| no results.                       | turn things around. I'd really    |
|                                   | like you to get help quickly, so  |
| Reinforce the fact that you       | you can get a thorough assessment |
| haven't wanted to offend her.     | and perhaps even rule out medical |
| Regardless of whether she says    | problems. And then we can         |
| she will get EAP assistance, you  | hopefully see you and your work   |
| should let her know that you will | back to normal again. The         |
| be following up. Set a time to do | Employee Assistance Program is an |
| so that is reasonable.            | excellent, confidential resource  |
|                                   | that can help you with what we've |
| Postscript on F.P.: The           | talked about. Also, there's no    |
| supervisor's awareness that a     | charge for EAP services. So, why  |
| change in an individual's         | not go ahead and call them?\"     |
| behavior can be the result of a   | (Hand her the brochure.)          |
| medical condition could be very   |                                   |
| important for an employee. Lives  | \"You can call the toll free      |
| have been saved because there     | number and ask to set up an       |
| were supervisors who cared enough | appointment with a counselor, a   |
| to raise difficult subjects.      | female if you prefer, in your     |
|                                   | area. If you'd like to make the   |
|                                   | call now, I can leave you alone   |
|                                   | to use the telephone in here.     |
|                                   | Otherwise, you can call the EAP   |
|                                   | at any time, day or night to set  |
|                                   | up an appointment."               |
|                                   |                                   |
|                                   | "I hope I haven't made you too    |
|                                   |                                   |
|                                   | uncomfortable in bringing this    |
|                                   | up, but if you are having some    |
|                                   | life challenges or there's a      |
|                                   | medical problem, it's best to get |
|                                   | help as soon as possible. Just do |
|                                   | what it takes for yourself and    |
|                                   | the job! Let's set up a time in   |
|                                   | two weeks to check in with each   |
|                                   | other and see how it's going."    |
+-----------------------------------+-----------------------------------+

**4) Tip of the Day**

In dealing with sensitive issues of employee hygiene and appearance,
remember these

points:

-   Put yourself in the employee's place. If you didn't realize the
    impact of your personal situation upon others, you would like to
    know about it, in order to take action. If you did suspect the
    reality of your situation, but didn't know that help was available,
    you would be grateful for a referral to the EAP.

-   Keeping your empathy foremost, be considerate in your approach and
    choice of words.

-   Be sensitive; however, retain your motivation to get the issue
    resolved.

-   Remember to stay relaxed. It helps to deal with your own discomfort
    and to deliver unpleasant information in a non-threatening way. And,
    challenging as it may be, don't forget to breathe deeply; it's
    important in keeping you grounded!

**(5) About This Ezine**

Federal Occupational Health (FOH) has a range of programs to improve the
health,

safety and productivity of the Federal workforce. These programs include
Employee

Assistance/Member and Family Support, Work/Life Solutions, Clinical
Health Services,

Environmental Services, and other special programs. The FOH EAP provides

assessment, counseling, referral, training and consultation to Federal
employees and

agencies worldwide. This e-magazine's goal is to help Federal leaders
address their

workplace relationship concerns. For further information about FOH and
its programs,

call us at 1 800 457-9808 or visit our web site at www.foh.dhhs.gov.

The articles that appear in "Leadership Today" are published as
background information and, as such, do not address specific human
resource management concerns. For guidance on handling issues that arise
in your workplace, please consult your employee assistance and/or human
resources professional.

*healthy bodies ●sound minds ●a safe place to work*

**Federal Occupational Health**

Department of Health and Human Services

Program Support Center

a component of the U.S. Public Health Service