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# Handout #3C -- Dear Gabby Letters 

Dear Gabby,

I am a new mom, and I really want to give my new baby a good start in
life through breastfeeding. My partner tells me he is thankful that I am
doing so much to keep our baby healthy, but he keeps saying \"little\"
things about how I\'m not any fun anymore, or all I think about is the
baby, and I don\'t have as much time for him. In a way, he may be
right...the problem is I am just so tired all the time. Some days, I
don\'t even have the time or energy for a shower. I wonder if I should
just wean the baby. Maybe I would be more interested in being with him
if I wasn\'t so \"touched out" at the end of the day.

Signed,

I\'m tired and I have a headache

Dear Gabby,

Everyone in the family is just WILD about our new baby. And no wonder!
He\'s adorable, beautiful, and contented. My doctor says that\'s because
he\'s breastfeeding. At the last weight check, 3-month-old Nathan had
gained 2 pounds in the last month! With a new baby thriving so well
you\'d think everyone would be thrilled. NOT! The problem is my
mother-in-law. When Nathan was younger, she was convinced I was starving
him. Now that he has chubby little rolls of fat she says I\'m feeding
him too much. She just looks for opportunities to put me down, and even
calls my husband at work to tell him I would be a better mother if I
were bottle feeding. What should I do?

Signed,

Frustrated in Phoenix

Dear Gabby,

My girlfriends and I have been friends since high school. We have always
made time for an occasional \"Girls' Night Out\" and once a year we
spend a whole weekend \"away\" sharing a room at the beach. This year
will be the first time we\'ve had to cancel in five years, and it will
be my fault. I am pregnant and am planning to breastfeed. My baby will
be around eight weeks old; and although my partner says he\'ll take care
of the baby, there\'s no way I can leave her behind for an entire
weekend. I\'m not sure how much fun it would be taking care of a newborn
while my friends are all at the beach, anyway. I\'m afraid they\'ll all
be mad when I tell them the trip is out.

Signed,

Stuck in Sacramento

Dear Gabby,

When I was pregnant, I used to imagine that having a new baby would be a
blissful, blessed event. Little did I realize that having a baby would
transform my older children into monsters! Every time I breastfeed my
newborn, my two children (ages 2 and 4) \"escape\" throughout the house
to wreak havoc. Yesterday they disappeared and I discovered them pouring
out all the shampoo in the bathtub. They have dunked the cat in the
toilet, licked the chocolate coating off all the Raisinets, colored on
the hallway walls, and dumped my husband\'s expensive antibiotics down
the bathroom sink. This morning when I was breastfeeding, my 2-year-old
came up and bit the baby\'s foot for no reason! I\'m convinced
breastfeeding was a terrible idea!

Signed,

Harried in Harrisville

Dear Gabby,

I am expecting a new baby in just a few weeks. Every time I turn around
somebody tells me that I should breastfeed. I know it's best, but I just
can't imagine myself doing it. I'm a very modest person, and I just
can't see myself whipping out my breast in public. Once I saw a woman
breastfeeding at the mall, and it really grossed me out. She should have
gone to a restroom to do that! I sure wouldn't want to make other people
uncomfortable. If I breastfeed, I would have to stay home for a very
long time...and I get cabin fever when I have to stay home for a day or
two!

Signed,

Wondering in Wichita

Dear Gabby,

My husband works hard on an offshore job. He is gone for sometimes three
or four weeks at a time, and I miss him terribly...especially now that I
have a new baby. I feel so alone with just me and the baby. It's so hard
to get out of the house with a new baby, so it\'s wonderful when he
comes home after a trip, and I finally have someone to talk to. The
problem is that he needs his sleep, and the baby seems so fussy when
he\'s home. My husband says maybe if I bottle fed the baby he wouldn\'t
be so fussy, and besides, he\'d be able to help get close to the baby,
too. I love breastfeeding, and I\'m not ready to give it up. But I'm
wondering if I should to make my husband happy.

Signed,

Troubled in Tampa

Dear Gabby,

I have the greatest mother in the world! She has always taken good care
of me, loves my partner like a son, and worships her new grandbaby! She
lives right next door, which is great because she is always willing to
help take care of Alicia when I need to go to work or just need a break
from time to time. The only thing is that she isn\'t crazy about the
fact I\'m breastfeeding. She says she didn\'t breastfeed, and I sure
turned out all right, and besides, breastfeeding has made Alicia too
fussy to take care of sometimes. I know she would be relieved if I just
weaned Alicia, but I am not really ready to yet. I wish she would
support me more, but I'm not comfortable saying anything. After all,
she\'s a fabulous grandmother, and you can\'t beat free babysitting!

Signed,

Cautious in Canton

Dear Gabby,

My older sister is my very best friend. We have been through thick and
thin, and remained close. That\'s why it bothers me that she is giving
me such a hard time about my new baby. You see, she has a 3-year-old
that she tried to breastfeed for just a little while, but she gave up.
She said it was too hard, and she didn\'t make enough milk. Now that
I\'m pregnant, she tells me we are \"one and the same.\" I will surely
have the same problems she did, and besides, low milk supply runs in the
family. I still want to try, but she says if I breastfeed it will be too
weird because we won\'t be sharing the same kind of feeding experience.
Do you think she is right?

Signed,

Bewildered in Boston