ED, THE EATING DISORDER

A HANDOUT FOR COMPULSIVE OVEREATERS

Irma B. Johnston, Psy. D.

Compulsive overating, your Eating Disorder (ED), has probably been with
you for a long time and has been useful in helping you cope with your
feelings and life situations. Your Eating Disorder (ED), has become a
part of who you are. ED is familiar to you.

Any behaviors which help to maintain your Eating Disorder, or keep ED
active, may feel calming to you. In other words, maintaining your Eating
Disorder means you will not have to make changes. This sameness feels
safe and reduces anxiety. Eating Disorder behaviors, such as overeating,
hiding food, or eating secretly may be familiar to you. The urge to
engage in these familiar behaviors is powerful.

On the other hand, when you engage in behaviors which indicate that you
are giving up your Eating Disorder, you may feel frightened. These more
healthy behaviors are behaviors such as consuming less calories, taking
smaller portions of food, eating a normal amount of food even when you
feel emotionally overwhelmed, or eating foods with a lower fat content.
When you engage in any of these behaviors, which indicate that you are
giving up your compulsive overeating, you may feel anxious or
frightened. These more healthy behaviors will be hard to do. When you
engage in more healthy eating behaviors, you may feel like you are
falling apart, losing your identity, or being abandoned. At this time,
Eating Disorder behaviors may seem like the only SECURE thing in your
life. ED may seem like a friend, a teddy bear, a security blanket, and
an anchor, all rolled into one. Letting go of ED is difficult.

Letting go of ED, your compulsive overeating, will happen when you make
a decision to become more healthy, physically and emotionally. This will
be a courageous decision to believe in yourself and to go for it. As you
let go of ED behaviors, you will begin to depend more often on other
people, other things, and other aspects on yourself.

Relying on other people for support is difficult because people are
imperfect. Other people are just human, and they won't always be there
for you like ED behaviors. Using other things for support and to help
you cope with life situations may also be frustrating. Other things
(such as hobbies, work, exercise, sports, music, art, prayer, and
meditation) are not going to be a quick fix like Eating Disorder
behaviors. Initially, these other coping methods are not going to work
as well as ED behaviors.

Using other aspects of yourself to cope with feelings will likely be the
hardest change of all. This behavior involves becoming aware that you
can cope, calm yourself, and be strong without using something outside
of yourself to accomplish these feats. You will develop an awareness
that you are strong and somewhat independent. You will begin to
recognize that you are calming yourself and acting responsibly by using
resources within yourself, rather than by being dependent on other
things or other people. This awareness is both frightening and exciting.

When you let go of ED, your Eating Disorder, you will be learning to
meet your needs for security, warmth, safety, and love in many new ways.
Like any new situation, the learning of these behaviors will involve
taking risks, experiencing setbacks, being disappointed, and having
relapses, as well as enjoying feelings of accomplishment and excitement.
The more you use your new strengths, your new coping behaviors, and your
network of support people (however imperfect and human), the easier it
will be to let go of ED.

The bonus which comes when you let go of your Eating Disorder behaviors
is that you will be able to let go of other things in your life which
have become destructive to you. You will find it easier to travel though
life, letting go of unhealthy behaviors and situations, and even
steering clear of them. You will be starting a pattern of healthy life
behaviors.

Like any loss, the letting go of ED, your Eating Disorder, will hurt.
You will need time to heal. You may feel insecure and anxious at first.
You will recognize many new emotions in yourself because your Eating
Disorder behaviors will no longer be helping to cover up your feelings.

People become addicted to many things in life. Compulsive overeating
behaviors are only one type of addiction. These behaviors are attempts
to help us cope with emotions and life difficulties. Because you have
lived with your Eating Disorder (ED), have recognized the
destructiveness of ED behaviors, and have let go of ED, you will be more
understanding of yourself and others. People are not so different.

Reproduced from: Innovations in Clinical Practice: A Source Book (Vol.
17) by L. Vandecreek and T. L. Jackson (Eds.) , Sarasota, Fl:
Professional Resources Press. Copyright © 1999 by the Professional
Resource Exchange, Inc.. P.O. Box 15560, Sarasota, FL 34277-1560