Professionalism,

Anger Control,

Conduct,

Ethical &

Social Skills

![](media/image1.png){width="1.75in" height="1.75in"}

Developed for:

*Old Dominion Job Corps*

by

Hillary Walsh, LPC, CMHC

Curriculum

***Week One***

Session One -- Introduction, Rules, Contracts, Confidentiality

Session Two - Identification of Professionalism

How do you act in a professional manner?

The Four A's of professionalism

Attitude

Attire

Associations

Actions

***Week Two***

Session One -- Taking Responsibility

Mantra

Accepting consequences: Good & bad

Session Two - Respect

Giving it & getting it.

Individual philosophies -- belief systems

Identification of Anger

Secondary emotion

Need for anger control

Control issues

***Week Three***

Session One -- Assault & Battery

Legal definitions

Consequences

Session Two \-- Abuse

5 -- Types of abuse

Physical

Emotional/Psychological

Economic

Verbal

Sexual

Bullying

Pushing Buttons

Red Flags

***Week Four***

Session One - Stereotyping

Bigotry

Spreading Rumors and Lies

Accepting and Understanding differences

Session Two - Changing your belief system

Your choices for success

***Week Five***

Session One -- Relationships

Job Related: Co-workers, boss

Inter -- Personal: family, partner, child,

friends

Community & Education: Teachers,

community leaders, religious leader

Boundaries

Personal Space

Accepting Limitations and Boundaries of

others.

Session Two - Social /ethical skills

Code of Ethics

Code of Conduct

***Week Six***

Session One -- Where are you?

Session Two -- Do you PASS?

Introduction

You have been selected to participate in the PACES group. If you have
either asked to participate or made the choice to disclose issues or
concerns on your intake, you should congratulate yourself for taking the
first step in gaining personal power, learning social skills and ethics,
controlling your anger in appropriate ways, and becoming a professional
in your field.

**Rules of the Group**

1.  Attendance is expected

2.  Please be on time for the group. We have a lot of information to
    cover in a very limited amount of time. We need every minute. Please
    respect others who are in the group, as well as the facilitators,
    and be on time.

3.  RESPECT IS EXPECTED. You will be respected while in this group. You
    are expected to respect others, including facilitators at all times.

4.  Cursing or disparaging remarks are not allowed.

5.  Referring to others by anything but their name is not allowed. When
    addressing someone by a foul or abusive title you dehumanize them,
    making abuse easier. When calling someone by their name you see them
    as a human being and not a thing.

6.  You will have a test at the end of the 6 week period. We suggest you
    listen and take the class very seriously because if you fail your
    test you will retake the 6 weeks of class.

7.  Take this class seriously. Job Corps is your job right now. You are
    expected to act professionally at all times, in every capacity of
    the time you spend on this center. You could not act out with
    disrespect, unprofessionally, with anger or aggression on any other
    job and keep your job. Acting inappropriately at Job Corps will also
    result in your losing your job and your opportunity to learn a
    trade.

Contract

Each person will be required to sign a contract. This is a closed group.
Your place in this group is taking the space someone else could be
filling. Your placement is important as is your attendance. You have
heard to rules and have indicated that you understand the rules. You
will now sign a contract agreeing to follow these rules and attend group
as required. By signing this contract you are indicating your acceptance
of the rules, your agreement to follow the rules, and your understanding
of the consequences for failure to comply.

\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_
\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_

Student Date

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\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_

Facilitator Date

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Facilitator Date

***Confidentiality***

This is a closed group. Personal issues may be discussed. Each person
needs to feel that they are free to discuss their issues without their
business being spread around the facility. You are required to sign a
confidentiality agreement and are expected to live up to this agreement.
You would not want others to know what you discuss within this group.
Please respect others rights to their confidentiality as well. A group
that is "cohesive" is a group that works well together. Cohesiveness
comes from closeness that develops within a closed group setting. Our
hope is that this group will develop "cohesiveness" and be able to work
with each other, calling each other on their inappropriate actions in
appropriate ways, and through supporting each other through difficult
times if and when they arise.

\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_
\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_

Student Date

\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_
\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_

Facilitator Date

\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_
\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_

Facilitator Date

What is Professionalism?

Professionalism is how you look, talk, write, act and work. It
determines how people view you, whether as a professional or an amateur.
Often times people do not expect people to give or do their best.
Schools are guilty of completing or graduating students who cannot
either read, write, or do simple math. \"Just getting by\" is an
attitude many people accept. This attitude is the attitude of amateurs
and losers.

***If you always do what you have always done you will always get what
you have always gotten.***

***Whatever you do, do it as though you were a professional, not an
amateur.***

***Set professional goals for yourself. Act like a professional and you
will become one.***

***Professionals see problems and situations and take the appropriate
steps to handle them..***

***Lesson One in life: Professionals have a professional view point, act
in a professional and ethical manner, and treat people with respect and
dignity.***

***"***A professional learns every aspect of the job. An amateur skips
the learning process whenever possible."

"A professional carefully discovers what is needed and wanted. An
amateur assumes what others need and want."

"A professional looks, speaks and dresses like a professional. An
amateur is sloppy in appearance and speech."

"A professional keeps his or her work area clean and orderly. An amateur
has a messy, confused or dirty work area."

"A professional is focused and clear-headed. An amateur is confused and
distracted."

"A professional does not let mistakes slide by. An amateur ignores or
hides mistakes."

"A professional jumps into difficult assignments. An amateur tries to
get out of difficult work."

"A professional completes projects as soon as possible. An amateur is
surrounded by unfinished work piled on unfinished work."

"A professional remains level-headed and optimistic. An amateur gets
upset and assumes the worst."

" A professional handles money and accounts very carefully. An amateur
is sloppy with money or accounts."

"A professional faces up to other people's upsets and problems. An
amateur avoids others' problems."

"A professional uses higher emotional tones: Enthusiasm, cheerfulness,
interest, contentment. An amateur uses lower emotional tones: anger,
hostility, resentment, fear, victim."

"A professional persists until the objective is achieved. An amateur
gives up at the first opportunity."

"A professional produces more than expected. An amateur produces just
enough to get by."

"A professional produces a high-quality product or service. An amateur
produces medium-to-low quality product or service."

"A professional earns high pay. An amateur earns low pay and feels it's
unfair."

"A professional has a promising future. An amateur has an uncertain
future."

"The first step to making yourself a professional is to decide you ARE a
professional."

Used with permission from:
[www.tipsforsuccess.org](http://www.tipsforsuccess.org/).

**What is Anger?**

**Anger is a secondary emotion !**

1\. You cannot just get angry. There is always a feeling that precedes
anger. You can feel hurt, pain, demoralized, disappointment, guilt,
sadness, frustration, grief, jealousy, disrespected, or even
embarrassment.

2\.

Anger is more of a reaction to an emotion than an emotion itself!

3\. Finding out what triggered the reaction of anger is very important.
You cannot solve a problem without knowing the root of the problem.

Look inside yourself and find what is behind your feelings of anger.

-   What happened before you became angry?

-   What was going on in your life?

-   Who was with you?

-   Where were you?

-   What are you really feeling?

4\. KNOW the FACTS !

Some people do not find out the facts of a situation before they react.
Before you accuse your friend, partner, or acquaintance of doing
something based on misconceptions, ask questions. Questions get answers
and answers usually lead to the facts of a situation.

But ask the questions of those involved. Do NOT use gossip as factual
information.

5\. Before you overreact remember:

-   For every action there is a reaction !

-   Think before you act or react !

-   Words cannot be taken back and are often remembered

> longer than you intended !

-   Respecting others as well as yourself will keep you

> focused on acting appropriately, behaving appropriately,
>
> and making choices that you are willing to take
>
> responsibility for !

**NEED FOR ANGER CONTROL**

1.  To earn respect !

2.  To show respect !

3.  To function in society in an appropriate way.

4.  To form healthy relationships in all aspects of your life.

5.  To control your life and not allow other things, situations, or
    people to control your actions. What angers you controls you.

6.  To hold down a job and make advances in your career choice.

7.  To function as a positive role model for your children, other family
    members, friends, society, as well as yourself.

8.  Your reasons:
    \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_

Why do you need to feel in control of others?

> **□** You feel you have no control in most aspects of your life.
>
> **□** You feel that it shows you have power or strength.
>
> **□** You feel that it shows others respect you. (actually they may
> fear you.)
>
> **□** Makes you feel important.
>
> **□** Makes you feel tough.
>
> **□** Makes you feel like you deserve more than others.
>
> **□** You feel you deserve to control others.
>
> **□** You feel you are smarter than others.
>
> **□** You are in some way entitled to be the "boss".
>
> **□** You are tired of others pushing you around or trying to boss
> you.

Other reasons:

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**Condensed Version of the Bill Of Rights**

1.  Freedom of religion

> As long as your religious choice does not interfere with the religious
> choices of others
>
> or involve an action that breaks the law.

2.  Freedom of speech and press.

> Freedom of speech allows you to express most of your opinions in any
> format you choose. What it doesn't allow you to do is threaten others
> without legal actions being
>
> taken against you or to make false statements or allegations against
> others.

3.  Right to assemble peaceably and petition the government for redress
    of grievances.

> You do have the right to assemble if you have obtained a permit to
> assemble. You cannot
>
> hold a protest or any type of forum that can disrupt the public
> without a legal permit allowing your assembly.

4.  Right to bear arms.

> The right to bear arms simply means that each individual has the right
> to own a weapon for the protection of their self or family, or for the
> purpose of hunting. Many people collect weapons. You MUST have a
> permit and be registered to own a firearm. Without
>
> a legal permit your guns can be taken from you.

5.  Freedom from unreasonable search and seizure.

> With a warrant, any property can be searched. Many localities also
> state that if there is a
>
> reasonable indication or evidence of wrong doing that a residence,
> car, or person can be
>
> searched without a warrant, such as at a traffic stop.

6.  Right to a speedy and public trial by jury.

> The judicial system is so overloaded and back-logged, the "speedy
> trail" often takes over a year to occur. Many people await their trial
> in jail. A jury trial can be waved in some circumstances.

7.  Right to be confronted by witnesses, be informed of the nature of
    the accusation, and to compel witnesses to testify.

> Many times the confrontation by witnesses is not in person. There are
> cases where the witness may testify over closed circuit TV or be
> granted the opportunity to submit a notarized statement given under
> oath.

8.  Right to reasonable bail, have assistance of any attorney, and be
    free from cruel and unusual punishment.

> In many cases, such as murder or assault, bail is denied. The level of
> severity of the crime as well as the flight risk of the individual may
> halt the bail process.

9.  Freedom from compulsion to testify against oneself.

> Each individual has the right to plead the 5^th^ amendment allowing
> them not to testify as they might incriminate themselves by their
> testimony.

10. Right to due process of law.

**Taking Responsibility**

**I will take responsibility for my actions and not allow others to
influence me into making choices I do not care to make !**

**Personal Power**

-   **The ability one person has to control their own behaviors and not
    react to others attempts to anger them.**

-   **Personal power cannot be taken away, it can only be given away.**

**DEFINITIONS**

**RED FLAGS**

-   **Red Flags are statements or actions that one person does in an
    attempt to anger another person.**

-   **Know your red flags, know what leads you to react in an aggressive
    way and avoid them.**

-   **Do not use other's red flags in such a way as to incite an
    argument or act of aggression.**

-   **Know why you do what you do !**

> **EXAMPLES OF RED FLAGS**

-   **Someone saying "whatever" or dismissing you.**

-   **Someone spitting at you.**

-   **Someone calling you a name.**

-   **Someone making racial statements.**

-   **Being lied to.**

-   **Someone taking money from you.**

> **INTIMIDATION**

-   **Using body language, stance, looks, words or actions to scare
    someone in order to obtain your way.**

> **MINIMIZING**

-   **Making less of a situation than it was.**

> **PRIVILEDGE**

-   **The misconstrued idea a person may have that justifies their
    feelings of having rule over others.**

> **R.E.S.P.E.C.T.**

WHAT IS RESPECT ?\
\
Some people think it is summed up in The *GOLDEN RULE*

:

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you !

Respect is:

***R = Reacting to***

***E = Everyone even***

***S = Strangers and***

***P = Peers with***

***E = Earnest***

***C = Courtesy and***

***T = Tact***

Whatever you believe RESPECT is, remember, someone had to start to
respect others first. Are you that person? Or are you the one who sits
*[alone]{.underline}* and waits to be respected?

How do YOU show respect?

Ask yourself these questions:

-   Do you believe that you have to be given respect to get respect?

-   Do you believe that respect is earned?

-   Is respecting someone and showing respect the same thing?

-   If everyone believed that you have to get respect before giving it,
    who would start showing respect first?

**Are You a Respectful Person?\
**

True False

□ □ I treat other people the way I want to be treated.

□ □ I am considerate of other people.

□ □ I treat people with civility, courtesy, and dignity.

□ □ I accept personal differences.

□ □ I work to solve problems without violence.

□ □ I never intentionally ridicule, embarrass, or hurt

other people.

□ □ I think I am a respectful person.

□ □ I never tease and make fun of others.

□ □ I accept the apology when someone says they are

sorry.

Where can anger take you?

> ☼ Anger *can* and *often does* lead to
>
> abuse.

☼ You can go to jail for a long time.

☼ You could be removed from your home.

☼ The law could have control of your

relationship as well as your life.

☼ You could end up in the hospital.

☼ You could put someone in the hospital.

☼ You could die.

☼ You could cause the death of someone.

> What is ABUSE?

Abuse is:

-   **Any unwanted touch is considered a form of abuse.**

-   **If you touch someone who does not want your touch you can be
    charged with battery.**

-   **Couple the touch with verbal abuse and you are guilty of assault
    and battery.**

-   **Assault and battery can be charged as a felony and can result in
    jail time and loss of many rights including the right to vote, and
    the right to bear arms.**

Five Types of Abuse

*Sexual Abuse*

*Physical Abuse*

*Emotional Abuse*

*Verbal Abuse*

> *Economical Abuse*

***TYPES OF ABUSE***

***SEXUAL ABUSE***

-   Forcing another to be sexual when they do not want to be.

***PHYSICAL ABUSE***

-   Hitting, kicking, punching, biting, or any type of physical act
    which leads

> to harm of an individual, animal, or belonging.

***EMOTIONAL ABUSE***

-   Playing mind games, belittling or verbally beating someone up with

> cruel, nasty, vulgar, or hurtful statements or actions which can
> result in hurt feelings, low self-esteem, shame, quilt, depression,
> feelings of hopelessness, or suicidality.

***VERBAL ABUSE***

-   Making cruel, harmful, hurtful, aggressive, abusive statements,

-   calling the other person names,

-   using profanity, or

-   making inappropriate remarks in an attempt to hurt or control the
    other

> person.

***ECONOMICAL ABUSE***

-   Using money to control another person either by forcing them to ask
    for

> money,

-   keeping control of the funds against the wishes of the other person,

-   not allowing the other person to have personal funds to use as they

> want,

-   refusing money for bills or food, or

-   putting other on allowance

***THE CYCLE OF ANGER***

***Remember:***

*The Cycle of Anger destroys relationships !*

-   **Explosion of anger**

-   **Placing blame on others for your actions and reactions.**

-   **Asking for forgiveness and promising to never explode again.**

-   **Stress starts building again and the vicious cycle starts
    continues.**

**STAGES of the ANGER CYCLE**

**STAGE ONE**

-   Tension phase: The period of time where stress, anxiety,

> frustration, and anger begins to build.

**STAGE TWO**

-   Crisis phase: The period during which there is an

> explosion of anger usually resulting in physical,
>
> emotional, sexual, and /or verbal abuse. During this time
>
> the victim can be physically harmed or possibly killed.

**STAGE THREE**

-   Calm Phase:

Often called the "Honeymoon stage". The time when

people make up, the abuser is apologetic, asks for

forgiveness and makes many promises to cease the

aggression and abuse.

> CHOICES

How you handle your anger is your choice !

-   Think first

-   Get the facts

-   Be respectful

-   Take a time-out, relax, calm down and then talk.

-   Talk, don't yell ! When you yell you get tuned out by those

> around you.

-   Your viewpoint is not the only viewpoint.

-   Be willing to listen

-   Compromise -- when someone wins, there is always a loser,

> and where there is a loser there are hard and/or hurt
>
> feelings.

Everyone gets angry and there is nothing wrong with anger expressed
appropriately !

-   Be respectful.

-   Show your anger appropriately

-   You are an adult so you should act like one.

-   Children settle their problems with their fists and/or harmful

> words.

-   Successful adults act successful.

> Social/Ethical Skills and Codes of Conduct 

\"There has been a dramatic increase in the ethical expectations of
businesses and professions over the past ten years. Increasingly,
customers, clients and employees are deliberately seeking out those who
define the basic ground rules of their operations on a day to
day\....\"\
(quote from the website of the [International Ethical Business
Registry](http://www.ngws.org/service/groups/iebr.htm)

\"Why have a Code of Ethics?

-   to define accepted/acceptable behaviours;

-   to promote high standards of practice;

-   to provide a benchmark for members to use for self evaluation;

-   to establish a framework for professional behaviour and
    responsibilities;

-   as a vehicle for occupational identity;

-   as a mark of occupational maturity;\"

(from the website of [Life Skills Coaches Association of
BC](http://www.calsca.com/ethics_lscabc.htm))

\"The need for special ethical principles in a scientific society is the
same as the need for ethical principles in society as a whole. They are
mutually beneficial. They help make our relationships mutually pleasant
and productive. A professional society is a voluntary, cooperative
organization, and those who must conform to its rules are also those who
benefit from the conformity of others. Each has a stake in maintaining
general compliance.\"\
(Stuart Altmann, Chair, Ethics Committee, Animal Behavior Society.

\"\...instruments for persuasion both of members of (a) profession and
the public. They enhance the sense of community among members, of
belonging to a group with common values and a common mission.\"\
(Kultgen J, 1988. **Ethics and Professionalism**. Philadelphia;
University of Pennsylvania Press. pp.212-213)

\"A profession\'s ethical standards must be compatible with our common
morality, but they go beyond our common morality. You could say that
they interpret our common morality for the specific details of work of a
particular occupational group.\"\
(by Vivian Weil, from her paper [\"Prospects for International
Standards\"](http://onlineethics.org/codes/weil.html))

\"The very exercise of developing a code is in itself worthwhile; it
forces a large number of people\...to think through in a fresh way their
mission and the important obligations they as a group and as individuals
have with respect to society as a whole.\"\
(DeGeorge, Richard T. Military Ethics: A Code of Ethics for Officers.
Washington: National Defense University Press, 1987.)

Many have attributed the popularity of codes of ethics, in the U.S. at
least, to [U.S. Federal
Sentencing](http://www.itcilo.it/english/actrav/telearn/global/ilo/code/whatcan.htm)

What is a Code of Conduct?

A code of conduct is a formal statement of the values and business
practices of a corporation. A code may be a short mission statement, or
it may be a sophisticated document that requires compliance with
articulated standards and have a complicated enforcement mechanism. (
LPA, Inc, 2000).