# Adventures in Asia

## John P Krane II

**August 2-12, 2002**

**Introduction**

In the summer of 2002, I had the privilege of attending a physics
conference at the Institute of Theoretical Physics in Beijing China. The
conference itself was excellent, spanning four days, with the third day
being free for tourism. Including me, there were six or seven Westerners
invited to give talks; the other 15 speakers were locals. Despite the
heavy emphasis on theoretical high energy physics, there was good
representation of experimentalists like me.

But most of the readers of this journal will not be physicists, so I
won't include much conference material here. Instead, I focus on the
time spent *outside* the ITP, not just in Beijing but also during an
excursion to Datong and a 24-hour layover in Tokyo. It was quite a trip.

### Beijing Journal

I\'ve never been to China before. I\'m sitting in a Boeing 777, looking
at the little LCD screen embedded in the headrest of the chair in front
of me. It shows our flight path from Chicago traveling northwest to clip
the tip of Lake Superior and Minnesota, over the Arctic Sea, north of
Alaska and the Bering Strait, before diving south again to Beijing.
Right now, I\'m at 30,000 feet, traveling at 576 mph over a part of
Canada called Saskatoon. In the last 3 hours, I\'ve had lunch, drank 3
cups of coffee, seen a movie on the aforementioned LCD, and pooped. An
auspicious start to a trip full of unknowns. Will the food be what an
American expects? Will they even have coffee? I don\'t even know what
their bathrooms will be like. (Yes, I mentioned poop again. Hey, by the
time these 10 days are up, the airplane toilet that seems to suck all
the air out of the room when you flush might be the most normal toilet I
get to see. I\'ve never been to China before!)

The plane is truly big. I\'m in row 41 out of 42, and there are 9 people
per row. Just thought you\'d like to know. (Later: the plane home has 61
rows with 9 in each.)

I\'m looking down on Shenyang China from 30,000 feet. Instead of one big
city, the population seems clustered into many, many villages with 10
streets total. Each cluster is maybe a half-mile from the next in every
direction. In between are farmer\'s fields. Could this be a way to avoid
the need for fancy large-scale water, sewer, and sanitation?

The plane lands. Customs is a breeze and then the taxi drivers see me.
Before I can find the conference organizer, three cabbies ask me if I
need a taxi. No? I don\'t believe you, where is your hotel? I\'m like,
that\'s none of your business, and I still don\'t know myself! It sort
of brings home how little I know what I\'m in for in China.

Two more physicists came on my plane from Chicago: Eve (who is giving a
Tevatron talk like me) and her hubby Jeff, giving a theory talk.
They\'ve both been to China before it seems. While they chat with the
conference organizers, I notice the fern trees, the way road signs have
both Chinese characters and Western letters underneath like subtitles,
and the way our driver is the most stoic man I\'ve ever seen.

There are bicycles everywhere on the roads, with bike lanes the size of
regular car lanes. There are three-wheeled bikes with flatbeds for
hauling stuff. In an attempt to be \"modern\" everyone wears dress
shirts and slacks, including the flatbed bike guys and sewer workers.

After checking in to my room, I take an hour to figure out the lights in
the hotel. Here\'s how it breaks down. There is a card slot in the wall,
and unless your room keycard is in there, there is no electricity in
your room. Once your card is in, all the lights and the TV are
controlled by a panel built into the bedside clock. There is no light
switch for the foyer lights except the clock. The clock functions
neither as an alarm nor as a radio. When you leave the room, you of
course pull the keycard and CLATCH all the lights go out. A bit
authoritarian, but clever.

That night, I venture around the block to get the flavor of the
neighborhood. I notice people looking at me by glancing over my shoulder
and seeing them looking over their shoulders back at me. Oh well, I
guess tourists are easy to spot. I notice again the labor-class guys
wearing dress shirts, slacks, and nice shoes, and in the heat they tend
to untuck the shirt and roll it up to their pits, like some kind of
midriff top. I\'m talking the ditch diggers and trash sweepers wearing
Sunday clothes for work, doing their best Brittany Spears impression,
which isn\'t very good.

Once upon a time, all traffic was probably bike traffic, now it\'s about
half and half. The cargo bikes, with three wheels and an 8x4\' flatbed
behind the peddler, are out in force. There is a strong trash smell
coming from over one particular wall. It\'s hot, and I\'m tired. Hey
Brittany, stop looking at me and tuck in that shirt\...

By 9 am, I\'m out the door after 8 hours of sleep and another 8 hours of
half-sleep. Not very productive time, but I\'m now unjetlagged. At the
elevator, I chance upon Eve and Jeff again. I go to breakfast with them,
chat, and look through their tourist book. I\'m feeling a little bad
that I didn\'t buy a similar book, but work pressures seemed to keep me
from it. Besides, the conference organizers have already planned major
tours for us, so I\'m looking for second-tier tourism today. They invite
me to go walking with them, but when I\'m not so enthusiastic, they
recommend a walking tour of the three lakes in Beijing as being good. It
looks great to me, so I photocopy those two pages from their book and
I\'m off!

I hit trouble instantly. Neither the bellboy nor the first two cab
drivers have heard of my starting point: Huifeng temple. I guess it
really is minor site! The bellhop understands English, kinda, so I tell
him to tell the cabbie to get me close and I\'ll walk.

Riding in a Beijing taxi is a little different. All roads, even the six
lane ones, are choked with bicyclists. There seem to be few rules about
staying in your own lane. Just off the beautiful main roads, clearly
built in the past year or two, are little two lane cobblestone roads
with cars parked on both sides, leaving barely enough room for one car
to get through. There is plenty of bike and foot traffic there, and the
cabby just sails past with only inches of clearance. The cabby isn\'t
nervous, the bikers and walkers aren\'t nervous, so I start ignoring it
too. I soon learn everyone in Beijing drives this same way, whether they
are inches from bikes or busses.

On the way there we drive through a raucous market neighborhood. In an
American city, this might be a dangerous area. Some rooftops are
beautiful half-pipe tiles, the rest are tar paper held in place with
bricks. Here in Beijing, most people are relatively poor, so this
neighborhood isn\'t bad at all for them. For instance there were moped
dealers with 40 bikes out on the sidewalk and no thugs to guard them.
The cabby was playing Chinese jazz on the radio, with sing-song words I
didn\'t understand, and a hard-popping bass style overlaid with guitar
riffs that seemed familiar, but with a really cool Chinese take on the
musical scale. I watched dozens of little shops drift past the windows,
with bike flatbeds making deliveries, a crowd of guys looking into the
engine bay of a VW Santanna (think of a longish 80\'s style Jetta or
Fox), a lady in a modern wheelchair talking to a rickshaw driver \--
with that jazz playing. It was one of those moments you don\'t forget.
Welcome to Beijing, Mr. Munk.

The cabby finally gets me to one of the lakes. He takes my map and asks
somebody on the street about my temple. With hand gestures and words
with lots of \"sh\" and \"eu-i\" sounds, he says that the temple I seek
is unknown to anyone, but item 5 on my tour of 9 sites is right over
there. Cool, what do I owe you? Thirty-one? Here\'s forty-one; later
dude. On the sidewalk, I do the math. That 20 minute cab ride cost a
total of \$3.30 American\...Cheap at twice the price even if I\'m not
quite where I wanted to be. First stop: Soong Ching-Ling\'s mansion.

This lady was married to a big-time politician, and had a huge impact on
China like Eleanor Roosevelt did, but what I\'m seeing is that she got a
heck of a house! Ponds, trees, covered walkways, seven buildings in all.
Enjoying the view from a pavilion, I see some kind of little worm
floating in mid air. It\'s on a thread, slowly descending. Has a spider
caught a larva of some kind? No, there is no spider; the worm is making
a web. I think I\'m looking at a wild silkworm!

Back on the street, I see some guys fishing on the lake. They have
little styrofoam buoys attached to cords that disappear down into the
algae-marbled water. At the other end of the cord is a wire square with
cheesecloth stretched into a canvas, and bait in the middle. With a
hooked pole, the guy pulls up his first cheesecloth trap and sets it on
the pavement. There are several little minnows flipping around in the
cloth, but the guy ignores them. Hey, those aren\'t minnows, those are
cuttlefish: tiny squid the size of your little finger. Flip flip flip.
The guy pulls his second trap from the algae-filled water, revealing two
full size shrimp. The guy\'s wife grabs the shrimp and drops them into a
children\'s sand bucket. They\'re shrimpers, enjoying a sunny Sunday.

I decide to try to find the temple that doesn\'t exist. It doesn\'t take
too long to find it on a rocky outcropping on the north side of the
lake, just like the book said, but it isn\'t very big, and there are no
employees. I\'m walking around and hit a dead end, but I know there is
more to see. I want a good view of the lake dammit, and the book says
this temple, situated on a rocky outcropping, offers said view. I go off
the path and start mountaineering around the outside of the buildings,
stepping from boulder to boulder. On my left side is the temple wall; on
my right side is a 30-foot drop, but not quite vertical. As I\'m setting
up a running start to clear a ten-foot gap between boulders, I realize
this is one reason I wanted to see Beijing by myself this morning. I
always get myself into situations like this, where the obvious way
forward (to me) is unconventional and a little challenging, and if I
were with people I\'d have to turn back. I make the jump, take my
picture from the resulting great vantage, and move on, taking the stairs
I probably should have been patient enough to find before
mountaineering.

More guys fishing, this time with poles. One man pulls up his hook and
there is a little fat fish on it about three inches long. Is this the
bait or the catch? The man puts the fish into his own plastic bucket, so
I guess it was the catch. He re-baits his hook with yellow mush. It\'s
ground ginger root!

It\'s half a mile hike to the next site, and it\'s getting hot. I need
water, so I blunder into a convenience store the size of a walk-in
closet. Making the deal without speaking a word of Mandarin is easy: I
open the refrigerated case and grab a bottle, the owner holds up two
fingers. So, bottled water is only 25 cents, which is good because tap
water will make you sick in Beijing.

I make it to the Drum Tower, built in 1272, and renovated in the 1400s.
It\'s about 6 stories tall and the steps are really, really steep! No
landings either. When I look up at the top stair, I feel like I\'m gonna
fall over backwards. Each step is angled slightly, so I\'m careful not
to slip. My legs are rubbery as I make the top. There are 15 drums the
size of Jacuzzis at the top, and a great view of Beijing.

Although I have another site to see, I can\'t find it and just wander
the narrow streets for hours. Eventually, I find a cab and show the
driver the hotel business card. My talk is tomorrow.

After a full day of talks, the invited speakers and our hosts take a
boat tour along some canals through the city that were excavated to
honor Emperor Suiqui. Our diesel powered tour boat holds 50 of us, and
chugs noisily but sedately past rows of fishermen and occasionally,
swimming children. Martin, a German theorist, happens to be sitting next
to me and we start talking. Because we both have outgoing flights days
after the end of the conference, he suggests a trip by night train
Thursday to Datong to see the caves of the Buddhas. We can rent a car
and a guide for Friday and night train back, tour Beijing Saturday and
we both fly out Sunday. The more people that go, the cheaper the
rentals. Sounds great to me!

After a few miles, we disembark in a park and walk through it toward our
restaurant. A boy stands in the park with his family, holding a kind of
short mop with a damp pointed sponge at the bottom. The ground is a grid
of 1\'x1\' paving tiles. On each tile, the boy uses the wet sponge to
draw complicated Chinese characters: a fun version of handwriting
lessons.

Our restaurant is not the best (you need to be a Party member for that)
but seemed like the best. Our hosts were trying to impress, and they
sure did! I ate duck feet (skinned and boned, which leaves mostly
cartilage), duck heart (tastes like a cross between beef and liver),
jellyfish (prepared to be crunchy), transparent gelatinous noodles that
were somehow made from green beans, headcheese, garlic shoots with
shitake mushrooms, and rose hips with celery. Oh yeah, and more familiar
stuff like hot pepper chicken, deep fried beef, Beijing pork. A little
of this, a little of that, and the dishes just kept coming. All that
before the main dish, Peking Duck. Think burritos made from crisp
roasted-all-day duck with plum sauce and shallots. Finally, duck soup
and rice. Unlike the rest of China, in Beijing, it is customary to have
rice only at the end of the meal. By the time we left, I was ready to
hibernate.

A quick image from the next morning: I\'m on foot, trying to find the
conference but I\'m a little off-course on a dusty street and some grit
gets in my eye. With rigid lenses this is really uncomfortable. Rubbing
makes it worse and I have to take out my contact lens. I dropped it! So
I\'m squatting on the ground blinking, one hand on the dusty
cobblestones, the other covering my now blind eye, my mouth open with
that bigmouth bass expression one gets when they\'re blinking grit out
of their eyes. The locals were giving me a wide berth. I eventually
found the lens several feet downwind by putting my foot on it, yet it
was unbroken, and was able to rinse it in a nearby restaurant. It seems
fine.

Just so I can remember, after this day of talks, we had a dinner that
included meat and skin from a cow\'s face, stir fried turtle, and a
fantastic seed and eggplant dish from a famous Chinese novel, titled
\"Dream of Red Mansion,\" or \"Red Chamber\".

At one point, I\'m trying to cut a desert dumpling in half, and my
chopstick, under tremendous sideways stress, snaps in two. With new
sticks I continue to struggle with the dumpling and the guy seated next
to me, one of my senior hosts, orders western-style silverware, not just
for me but also for every foreign guest at the table. It was kind of a
bummer, since I got the dumpling sliced before the silverware arrived.
Eve is seated next to me and is almost insulted by the silverware (but
still amused). Five minutes later, the senior host snaps \*his\*
chopstick in exactly the same way I did. My hand on his shoulder, I say,
\"Don\'t worry, we\'ll get you a knife and fork!\" Eve quickly hands him
her set, to the delight of everyone at the table, foreign and local
alike.

We have no talks today; instead we will tour the Great Wall and the
Summer Palace. We are issued a lunch bag with ham, bread, little
candies, and four pickled eggs. Shouldn\'t ham be refrigerated? It is
going to sit on this bus all day.

As you might expect, the Great Wall is a huge tourist trap. Above the
parking lot winds a steep hilly foot road, leading to the foot of a
half-mile of stairs. This road is lined with entrepreneurs, selling
water, jade or clay trinkets, camera film, and hats. I have neither hat
nor sunscreen, so I\'m interested in a hat; in fact I\'d like a
cone-shaped Chinese farmer\'s hat. The quoted price seemed fine, so like
an idiot, I paid it. As I walk away, the merchant and her husband are
grinning hugely as they chat. I\'ve just paid waaay too much. Screw it,
I like the hat, and paying the equivalent of \$12 instead of \$3
encourages capitalism. Right?

My legs are rubber by the time I climb to the wall. It was built along
the mountain ridgeline in this area, so it runs at ever-changing
elevations but always about 40 ft tall from base to top. I climb the
last 50 stairs from the base to the top of the wall. \"Raaar!\" Some
joker in an imperial guard uniform leaps in front of me from behind the
last turn, brandishing a halberd! Sheesh. He wants to be in a picture
with me, so that sounds cool. I hand the camera to another physicist and
pose with the guard. Click. \"Ok, now you give me the money!\" Money? Of
course this is like a career for this guy. I ask how much, he says 30
Yuan, so fine. Walking away, I realize I once again forgot to haggle.
Dammit, that's twice I\'ve been had in 30 minutes. But I can\'t
complain; I\'m still having a great time and I\'m in a place of great
historical and cultural significance. But I wasn\'t very polite to the
other dozen or so souvenir vendors on the wall.

After an hour snapping pictures and hiking on the wall, I head back
down. It is much easier than going up, but not as easy as a giant
stainless steel slide would be. I\'m not inventing this slide, it
exists, and for a handful of Yuan, you can go down the easy way. I was
tempted, but didn\'t want to trivialize my experience with that kind of
carnival touch. Maybe next time.

At the bottom, the husband of the merchant that sold me the hat is
holding up a T-shirt while I\'m still 50 yards away from their kiosk.
\"Sir,\" he\'s yelling, \"Hello Sir! I remember you!\" I just bet you
do. And I remember you. I let him lead me over to his wife at the kiosk.
From the look on his face, I bargained very well with his wife for a
roll of 40-exposure APS Kodak film. I paid 25% less than I would have in
the States, that\'s for sure. I think they made very little profit on
the film. He kept telling his wife \"Is too much mah-ney!\" with a
really seriously angry look, over and over. I didn\'t have the heart to
tell him that he was saying the customer\'s line; his line is \"Is not
enough mah-ney!\" The dry, bus-temperature ham sandwiches tasted
surprisingly good after a day of climbing stairs (some as steep as 70
degrees!) but that film purchase left an even better taste in my mouth.

The bus takes us back to Beijing, to the Summer Palace in what you might
call the suburbs on the lake (Kunming Lake). It\'s quite cool here in
the summer, in contrast to the middle of the city. The architecture is
stunning in the classic Chinese style, with painted and lacquered wood
and the characteristic rooflines. Imperial colors are red and gold, and
blue and green; these colors recur all through the Emperor\'s many
historical sites. Apparently, the English and French armies sacked and
burned the Summer Palace in the 40s, which is a true shame, since it
would otherwise be 800 years old, rather than just restored.

In the late 1800s, the Emperor tried to initiate social reforms,
seriously weakening China\'s feudal system\...until his mom found out!
The Empress Dowager Cixi (\"See-she\") was apparently a real iron lady.
She undid the reforms and put her son under house arrest for 8 years,
from age 30 until his death. This guy spent his last 8 years in a
50x50\' courtyard formed by four narrow buildings. Through the glass of
one restored exit door, you can still see the original brick wall that
kept him in. He had no visitors except the eunuchs that fed him, not
even his wife. For 8 years. I decided the Emperor wasn\'t very
resourceful. I could have climbed out of there, snuck past the guards,
and killed Cixi, and it wouldn\'t have taken more than, say, a year of
planning and doing pushups.

The palace is crowded with visitors. The tour guides have big colored
pennants and bullhorns. In places you can\'t easily walk. Beijing has 12
million people, and the palace is an obvious draw for many. At the exit,
the vendors are thick, and you can only leave via a single long
alleyway: it was a gauntlet. One guy followed us for 200 yards. Just
after he gave up, a woman jumped out at me with a big swatch of fabric
calling, \"Sir, sir! Ten dollars!\" and I literally started running.

I hope I\'m not boring you with descriptions of the food, but I can now
say I have eaten tripe. Also worth a mention was the baked chicken. He
was cut into pieces and rearranged on the plate in his original
configuration but sprawled prone with wings spread. His whole cooked
head, complete with crest on top, sat upright on his cleanly severed
neck. His cooked eyes were half open, as was his beak. Martin said in
his precise and gentle voice, \"Apparently, the chicken has
crash-landed.\" The remainder of the trip only had one new dish:
stir-fried giant bullfrog. Lots of little bones.

At one point just before all this dinner, I went the restroom to, uh,
read, yeah that\'s it, I went there to read. But there were no toilets
in the stalls, just holes in the floor. Imagine unbolting the seat from
a toilet, removing the toilet and tank from the room, and reinstalling
the toilet seat over the hole in the floor. The approved technique is to
remove one shoe, take down your drawers, pull one leg completely out of
your pants, and put your shoe back on. You straddle the hole, squat as
low as you can, and let \'er rip. I didn\'t do any reading at the
restaurant, and it\'s just as well because I don\'t remember seeing any
toilet paper, or even a place for any. Even in places with a western
toilet, paper is infrequent.

The next day we learn that our excursion to Datong will be entirely
funded our hosts! I have never received this kind of VIP treatment
before. They really have impressed me with the depth of attention. I
check out of my room, and have the hotel stow my luggage and my Chinese
hat. I\'ll be back in a couple days for them, and I hope my \$12 hat
doesn\'t get smashed. (Later: not smashed, but they lost the drawstring
clip.)

Datong is a coal-mining city about 300 miles west of Beijing. Our train
takes 7 hours to get there, and I don\'t sleep very well in the bunks.
The guide speaks English well and the driver is curt but polite. At 6
am, it is quite cool, because Datong is nearly 1000 ft higher in
elevation.

Our first stop is the Hanging Temple, which is 1.5 hours west, deep the
mountains. Driving through Datong is like driving through an abandoned
construction site. The road is dirt, the yards are dirt, there are no
curbs or driveways, people sprawled against walls for shade, and loads
of truck traffic. Dust and half-burnt fuel flavor the air. The minibus
holds eight of us, and bangs over ruts. Mr. Wong, despite the traffic,
seems to prefer the left side of this two-lane road. I was now
accustomed to whizzing within inches of buses and trucks, but not when
they\'re oncoming! Wong makes Beijing traffic look like polite
Small-town USA. He never passes oncoming traffic on the wrong side, but
he often intimidates oncoming traffic by playing head-on chicken. Why?!
The right lane is open, dammit! Several times, an oncoming vehicle
won\'t yield, so Wong fakes left to freak them out and the drifts right
less than would have been required without the fake. Most of the time,
our daring driver is honking at others, not vice versa. The best
justification for Mr. Wong\'s interesting strategy is that our side of
the road is in worse shape than theirs, but on the way back later, we
still spent much of our time on the wrong side of the road. For
instance, far from town, our highway is unmarked but wide enough for at
least four lanes. We are driving on the extreme left, harassing oncoming
bike traffic with our horn. Ahead is a bridge, only two lanes wide. Mr.
Wong seems oblivious until the last instant, when he performs a
45-degree turn to narrowly avoid scraping paint on the abutment,
followed by an opposing 45-degree turn to hug the left-hand bridge wall.
Why!? The road has no visible bumps or potholes, no hazards, no traffic.
There are many fatal accidents in China each year, maybe a little more
frequent than a western country, but here, most people don\'t own cars.
Personally, I think Mr. Wong becomes neurotic when behind the wheel.

The Hanging Temple was built high on a cliff wall, safe from floods,
safe from enemies, within a canyon between two sacred mountains.
Pilgrims would travel all day from Datong, use the monastery as a dorm,
and climb the mountain at dawn. The Monastery has shrines to Buddhism,
Taoism, and Confucianism. Elaborate, beautiful, with a picturesque view.
And plenty of vendors, if you want to buy a kung fu sword for \$13.50,
like I did.

The Yungang caves are a couple hours away, and consist of 40 some caves
carved into the side of sandstone cliffs, with the walls festooned with
graven images and painted statues of Buddha. I\'m not very familiar with
the mythos, but I can tell when people take things too damn far. There
are 51,000 Buddhas here, the largest is 56 feet tall and the smallest is
less than an inch. So much of this village\'s GDP went into this useless
endeavor it\'s sick. Buddhist monks also invented Kung Fu, and that
could be seen as taking fighting a little too seriously, so I guess it
is in their nature.

Let me say that Mandarin, the most common Chinese language, is very
complicated and unlike western languages. There are four distinct
pitches (musical tones) in the Chinese speaking voice, and if you change
pitch, the exact same syllable takes a different meaning, or becomes
gibberish. Combined with the lack of long words, Chinese often sounds
sing-songy to an American as the voice creates steel drum-like rhythm.
There is a Chinese tongue twister that sounds like (numbers indicate
pitch, lowest = 1), \"1Shure 2sir 1shure, 3shure 2sir 3shure, 1shure
3shure 2sir 1shure 3shure\...\" It basically translates as \"four is
four, ten is ten, fourteen is fourteen\", and it goes on to forty and
more. I probably screwed it up, but you get the idea. A tourist book
that says, \"\'Okay\' translates to \'Hao ba\',\" doesn\'t usually tell
you the musical notes (the numbers are my own invention) and you have
trouble saying the simplest things. I didn\'t even try; it helps if you
are a reasonably good mime and have no shame when you come off as an
idiot. Also, hotel clerks can often write destinations on paper for you.
The nice thing is that many Chinese learn English in school for three
years; the vendors take pains to learn enough to close the deal.
Children can be especially eager to try their English, as we learned in
the Datong town square in the evening. We were soon surrounded by
children, all trying their conversation skills. It was fun at first, but
unnerving after 20 minutes with the crowd growing to more than 100
people and there being six of us.

Time to take the train back to Beijing, and I need to bring a 3-foot
sword. I wrap it in a dark green dress shirt so I won\'t attract too
much attention and hope for the best. At the x-ray machine, I unwrap it
and lay it on the belt. Weep-weep-weep! On the other side stand two
guards, and a third comes running at the sound. The senior guard takes
one look at the toy sword and waves off the third guy and waves me
ahead. No prob. I rewrap and we\'re back to Beijing.

The next day, I take the morning to try to find a box for the sword. I
see people doing tai chi in the parks; one guy is working a kung fu
sword in intricate patterns that seem less optimized for fighting than
for looking nice with the tassel always moving. I step into a kind of
Chinese Meyer, finding row after row of vacuum-packed dried foods, mixed
with skateboards and umbrellas, clothes \-- you name it. But I couldn\'t
find any boxes. On my way back, I pass both McDonalds and KFC. Contrary
to rumors, neither Ronald nor the Colonel has Asian features here.

That day we visit Tiannemen Square, which is simply huge. Mao Tse Tung
is buried there, and embalmed (like Lenin) such that you can \"view\"
him. There is a line a quarter mile long to do so, 6 people wide. You
are only allowed to walk past Mao, not stopping, so the line is always
moving.

The Forbidden City is right behind the square and it is huge, larger
than the Summer Palace and much more elaborate too. I\'ll have to
re-rent Last Emperor. Afterward, we round out our trip with a rickshaw
ride to a dumpling place. You have to love Beijing prices: lunch for
four adults and two kids was \$5, including extra sodas.

Later that day I visit the Temple of Heaven by myself, and it is one of
the coolest things I\'ve seen yet. Cleanly designed, this place was made
to commune with gods. The two huge ceremonial areas are circular,
designed for a single person to pray (the Emperor himself), and focused
upward or inward. Contrast this to a modern church, where the focus is
the preacher, or the cross on the front wall.

With that, the Beijing leg was done. I forgot to convert my Chinese
money before we left, and no other country will change it. So I now have
about \$60 worth of paper souvenirs. On the bright side, I had no
trouble getting my sword on the plane.

### Tokyo Journal 

Flying into Tokyo, I have a list of top ten things to do. Because I will
get to my hotel after 5, I select nearby sites: The Imperial Palace
gardens, the Sony Building, Toyota Amlux, and although it is far away,
the impromptu 50 band jam session that happens every Sunday in
Yoyogi-koen Park. In addition to planning, I\'m looking out the plane
window into the sea at what must be hundreds of huge fish cavorting just
under the surface.

Tokyo security doesn\'t let my sword into Japan; they keep it in storage
for me until my flight out. Fine, but I lose half an hour with the
paperwork.

By 5:30 I\'m checked into the hotel and back out the door, walking
north. It\'s too late for the palace and the park, and neither will be
open Monday, so I go for the rest of my list. Tokyo is bustling but
clean, large-scale commercialism with neon and PA music, where Beijing
was one-on-one solicitation. I soon find the Sony building by the huge
fish tank in front of a waterfall in front of a giant TV set showing
swimming fish. Imagine 8 floors of PCs as small as you like (about two
palm pilots end-to-end) to a PC with an HDTV screen that is
purpose-built to control your AV equipment and surf the web. The
keyboard folds up to cover half the screen, which puts the machine into
a quiet mode with low power needs but still responds to the remote. One
floor was PS2s and new games. Most looked lame but there was a Shogun
Warriors 4-player that looked like that \"Someone shot the food\" game,
but with robots. I wish I could buy it but I think PS2 uses country
codes so a Japanese game wouldn\'t work in an American box.

I head out toward a park, next to the Imperial Palace (still bummed that
it\'s closed). The sound of cicadas is deafening, so the park offers me
no tranquility. The 95-degree heat is taking its toll on me as I plod
past some internally lit traffic cones. In Japan, gratuitous use of
technology is mandatory. Like the timers on the \"don\'t walk\" signs to
keep the impatient informed at intersections.

I stop into a cafe for pork with miso and wasabe sauce, and a long
island iced tea: about \$18 with tip. The meal is quite small by US
standards, artfully arranged with the food in the middle of a big plate
and sauce sprawled to its edge. It\'s truly delicious, and if you ignore
the sauce it is also the most Anglo meal I\'ve eaten in a week. But I
don\'t ignore the sauce; it\'s fantastic!

I pay up and wander some more, stopping into a US style coffee shop.
There isn\'t usually a singsong quality to Japanese, but the clerk here
is creating one as he tallies item after item, order after order.
\"Heedoe ta-hen ya! Hai! Deetayo da-hen ya! Hai!\" As always, the word
\"Hai\" is delivered with clipped hiccup-like intensity. A man sitting
next to me is reading a Manga, a comic book novel. In Japan these are
much more popular than books. I look over and see a panel with Hitler
giving a speech. Wonder what he\'s reading.

I pass a corner grocery store with watermelons on display with little
ribbons tied around them. Melons are supposed to sound hollow, as if the
rind was undamaged and healthy everywhere; these sound tight as a drum.
Melons are supposed to feel heavy for their size; these could have lead
inside them. \...But do you want to pay \$17 for a small watermelon from
the corner grocer? I walk inside. Everything is fresh: sashimi-grade
salmon, whole octopus with a head the size of your fist and legs big
enough to (say) wrap around your head, and clams half-open; all sitting
on a styofoam plate and wrapped in plastic, like hamburger would be in
the US. The clams are a little odd because fresh clams should be fully
shut. I poke one and\...the shell\...slowly\...closes. I have stepped
from a country where everything is cheap, to one where you pay
exorbitant prices for gratuitous\* quality. No, I don\'t need my
cantaloupe packed in multicolored bubble wrap, really. Later, I see a
piano with the soundboard raised. The black lacquer finish is so shiny,
I can see the windings on the strings in the reflection.

It\'s after 9pm, and places are closing. At a convenience store I buy a
manga and some cuttlefish jerky, and then return to the hotel. Over
Sapporo beer, I meet a Dutch businessman named Garod. He wshares his
Dutch cigars; we talk Asian politics and Tokyo prices. Before bed, I
plot tomorrow's strategy.

By 6:15 am I\'m out the door. The sky is gray and the air is misty. I
stop to buy film, but also look through Japanese car magazines, and I
find a girlie mag. A friend once told me it is illegal to show pubic
hair in Japan. Uh, no it isn\'t. Yikes!

Tokyo subways have no graffiti. It makes me feel sad for my country that
our youths have no respect for public property, but here and Paris are
both clean. We must be barbarians after all.

Meiji-Jingu Shrine is only a 20-minute ride. Named after an emperor that
died in 1912, the simple and elegant building rests in the middle of its
own park. There is a kind of fountain in front, with bamboo ladles. An
old man walks up and rinses his hands, then takes a swallow without
touching his lips to the cup. I do the same and follow him into the
open-air shrine. He bows twice, claps twice, prays for a while, bows
once and leaves. I do too, but I just kind of look around instead of
praying, not unlike Thanksgiving. The clean minimalism of Shinto seems
much more dignified to me than Buddhism. On my way out of the shrine, an
old lady says to me what sounds like a blessing. If I had thought of it
in time, I would have answered, \"Peace be with you.\"

I leave the park by its other gate, and the day is already hot. My map
says the Japanese Sword Museum is between my next two sites, so I detour
to find it. Before I know it, I\'m in a warren of little one way,
one-lane streets and I can\'t figure out where I am. I spend a long time
walking and looking. I find a vending machine and buy blood orange
juice. Nothing like the juice of blood oranges to perk you up, I always
say. In the end, every building on that block was an apartment except
for one site of new construction. I think my museum used to be there.

In the next two hours I visit the Shinjuku Government Building (52
stories provides a great view) and Senso-ji Temple in Asakasa. The
latter is something of a shrine to commercialism, if you know what I
mean. Buy some incense to cure your ills, buy a wish form and tie it to
the shrine, drop coins in the offering box. Sheesh, I just do my thing
with the fount, bow, clap: I\'m an expert now. I have just enough time
to get back to the hotel and catch my 10:40 shuttle. Yesterday might
have been a near bust, but today I was three for three, using only my
extra time on the missing museum.

This has been the trip of a lifetime; I really learned a lot, and
that\'s not to mention at all the excellent physics at the conference
that brought me here. I hope to return some day, there's plenty left to
do.