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\"2 Does and 6 Bucks\" Bring Home the Bronze

Team photo of Argonne\'s 1997 River to River Relay team at the start
line near Alto Pass, IL. Front row: Don Bohringer, Laura Miller, Maggie
Kelly (alternate for Paul Eident), Laurie Culbert. Back row: John
Schlueter, Steve Rose, Chuck Jonah, Karl Grimm.

This is a story about the River-to-River Relay race that took place on
April 18. For those of you that do not know about this race, it is an 80
mile relay race with eight runners that starts on a bluff overlooking
the Mississippi river valley (southwest of Carbondale, IL) and finishes
in the town of Golconda on the Ohio river. At each of the 24 exchange
points (each runner runs three segments), one runner transfers a baton
to the next runner on the team. The course runs mostly through the
Shawnee National Forest in southern Illinois.

For the last several years a team of Argonne runners have been entered
in this wonderful weekend event; we left Argonne on Friday, ran the race
on Saturday, and returned on Sunday. This year our two women/six man
team was named \"two does and six bucks\".

This year the newsletter story about this race will have a different
format. Instead of one writer describing the whole race, each runner (in
the order in which they ran) will briefly describe their memorable
moment(s) in the race. Here are their stories:

It is difficult for most of us to find some who runs at our speed, at
our distance, at the time and place that is convenient for us, and also,
is willing to put up with us. So, for the most part, we run by
ourselves. What a delight it is to run with a team. It\'s a good change
of pace. A team that yells and screams at you, and makes faces at you
while you are struggling up a hill. A team that encourages you to run
the last of your three legs, even though you\'re exhausted and your
muscles are screaming \"stop.\" If you were alone, you would walk the
last third of the hill, but your team is counting on you, so you bear
the burning muscles and heaving chest. Actually, the River to River
Relay has given me a new appreciation for running alone.

Just kidding.

\[*Paul twisted his knee in a skiing accident two weeks before the race.
We were especially glad that he came off the injury list and ran with us
this year - he had to miss last year\'s race because of a personal
conflict. Good to have you back Paul. JAS*\]

Paul Eident (Runner 1)

Steve Rose (Runner 2) had too many memories to get them all in writing
for this newsletter. He was our most improved runner this year, knocking
50 s/mile off last year\'s times! We are expecting a great story for him
in June.

It didn\'t start out good for me knowing that I felt lousy, but my team
mates assured me that they would cover if needed. Just think, this race
is broken up into 24 legs, each of the 8 team members had (3) legs to
run covering 80 miles; this was going to be a long day. Then the
adrenaline started to flow and team spirit set in making my first 2 legs
go very well. On my third leg I passed 6 individuals, including a member
of the notorious \"Cheetah Team.\" Now I\'m feeling great. But, the best
was for last on leg #24 when Chuck Jonah finished well ahead of
everyone\'s expectations. What a day, what a finish.

\[*Don came down with a cold a day before the race. Thanks for hanging
in there Don, it would have been really tough without you! JAS*\]

Don Bohringer (Runner 3)

Now that I\'ve run this race for four years, my two most memorable parts
of the race were: 1)Standing at the top of the famous hill on leg #24
and remembering back to when I ran that hill 3 years ago. It is a great
feeling each year watching other runners from our team prepare to hand
off the baton to runner #7 at the top of the hill. Although that hill is
easily the hardest part of the race, it tends to bring out the best in
each runner that tries it - not fully feeling the pain in their legs and
lungs as the rest of our team cheers for them as they take their final
running steps of the day. Way to go Laura! 2)Perhaps the best part of
the race was once again the finish in Golconda where after getting up at
4:30 AM and over 11 hours of running and cheering, we followed Chuck (a
little bloodied from a spill on the gravel road) across the finish line.
Little did we know that we ran our best time ever, and took third in our
division.

John Schlueter (Runner 4)

After each exchange the runner tries to look his (or her) best until the
van carrying all the other team members pass; this usually happens about
1 mile from the start of the segment. Well, for my last segment I did
not realize that the race organizers changed the van\'s route from last
year so that it did NOT travel the same road as the runner. Therefore,
at one mile I made sure I was smiling and running under control. At two
miles I was still trying to keep up this charade and at three miles I
was starting got worry that the van had broken down or had been in an
accident. But as I was on a hill overlooking the exchange point and
wondering what I was going to do when I had no one to exchange with, I
saw off in the distance a runner wearing a green Argonne shirt. Sure
enough there was a smiling Laura Miller waiting for the exchange\... was
I ever relieved.

\[*Now we know why Karl\'s third segment was his fastest. I think we\'ll
remember that trick for next year! JAS*\]

Another memory of this years race was our \"competition\" with the team
Hens and the Cocks, but that is another story\....

Karl Grimm (Runner 5)

Well, we did it again! Saturday was our 80-mile relay run from the
Mississippi River (actually Alto Pass in the Shawnee Forest west of
Carbondale) and it was another fantastic experience. We had cool weather
(upper 50s to lower 60s) and it was cloudy, with only a little wind.
Great for running, not so great for waiting, but then, of course, we had
our adrenaline to keep us warm.

And yours truly (me) humbly says that I am very pleased (and surprised)
with how I ran. That kind of weather is the absolute best for me to run
in, so I was in my element (no pun intended - honestly!). Plus I had
studied my legs (No, not THOSE legs - the three DISTANCES I had to run!)
and felt I was prepared mentally for the tough spots. Which I must have
been, because the tough spots really didn\'t seem so tough. The worst
one was the approximately two-mile uphill that I had to run on the last
section. But even for that I just figured I\'d run with \"baby steps\",
grit my teeth and get through it. Those baby steps must have done the
trick. I never did grit my teeth, and I got through it well enough so
that near the end of it, when I was almost in sight of the passing zone
and heard footsteps pounding behind me, I thought \"not THIS time - no
more people are going to pass me! I\'m done, I don\'t have to save
anything for the next leg and, and.. NO ONE\'S GOING TO PASS ME!\" So !
\... I gave it all I had, stretched my legs as far as they could go,
breathed as hard and fast as I could until I heard my team cheering me
on and saw Laurie\'s green T-shirt in the passing lane. I passed the
baton to her for the last time\... and NO ONE passed me!

\...and one other little, tiny, insignificant item - my time was the
same as the person who ran it last year. Which wouldn\'t mean much
except that she was 24 years old to my 44\...which of course, means
NOTHING to me\...

\[*Laura, your training and determination paid off. Don\'t forget the
thrill - It\'ll carry you through your many training runs for next
year\'s race. JAS*\]

So bear with me for still being hyped up about it and wanting to share
with all of you.

Laura Miller (Runner 6)

Once again we did it! What a great group of people. We may not be
lightning fast, but we work so well together as a team. Everyone cheers
and supports their teammates and things run very smoothly! After four
years at this, we are finally getting the hang of it.

Everyone outperformed all expectations! It was an amazing day. The best
part of the day was crossing the finish line as a team with the bell
ringing. We were all tired but proud of our accomplishment.

\[*Once again, Laurie gave up running the Boston Marathon to run with
our team. Thanks, Laurie. JAS*\]

Laurie Culbert (Runner 7)

To me, the River to River Relay is not one picture but a series of
little vignettes. I will mention only two. The first was when I was
running my first leg. After splashing through the water I was moving
along, possibly better than could be expected, when I looked up and saw
a group of people \-- the next hand-off. The adrenaline kicks in; I
picked up the pace (to Karl or John\'s slow jog rate probably) and
headed for \"home\". When the end was a quarter of a mile away, all of a
sudden, I remember this leg \-- the hand-off is after the turn and not
where all the people were! I figured I had just started my \"kick\" too
early, but I just kept going. As I got closer, I realized that the
hand-off had moved from last year! I wasn\'t going to collapse
ignominiously in sight of the hand-off \-- I was going to make it.

The second scene was at the start of Laura\'s last leg, the hardest on
the course. She was bouncing up and down and asking \"do I really want
to do this?\" It made me think of the song from \"Jesus Christ
Superstar\" (slightly modified) \"I only want to say, If there is a way,
take this leg away from me, for I don\'t want to strain my muscles, feel
them aching, I have changed, I\'m not as sure as when I started\"
(Gethsemen by A. Lloyd-Webber).

\[*After struggling through his final leg last year, Chuck put together
three strong runs this year and was a big reason that we finished with
our best time ever.*\]

Chuck Jonah (Runner 8)

Well, these are their stories. For any runners wanting more information
on this particular race, the web site is: rrr.olm.net.

Karl Grimm

Red Dress Run Update

For a few months now I have had a short story about the Red Dress Run in
the newsletter. Well, this is probably the last time that I will remind
you about the race before the event. Remember the race is June 9-th at
noon, starting at the Argonne Pool. All runners and walkers are welcome
to participate, but ONLY people in a red dress are eligible for the
raffle prizes.

I have my ensemble, do you???

Karl Grimm

Tax Trot

The day started with rains to complement the mood of April 15. Luckily,
the rains subsided by noon providing a nice atmosphere for running and
the socialization that followed. Plenty of cookies and other goodies
were awaiting the runners at the finish, and all did a good job at
running and eating. The raffle prizes were supposedly wrapped in
1040\'s, unfortunately due to some timing difficulties on my part the
prizes ended in 1996 tax booklet pages. I hope nobody followed those
directions.

Paul Eident did an excellent job by picking tasty cookies, and Jean
Smith came by to help us with the start/finish activities. Here is a
list of the participants:

J. Weizeorech (ECT), K. Grimm (RA), J. Harkness (ES), V. Huber (CHM), N.
Feenoy (EMD), R. Giese (ES), J. Schlueter (CHM), J. Regis (RE), L.
Miller (IPNS), K. Wood (ECT), R. Lee (ET), J. Stoffel (APS/XFD), A.
Juscius (ESH-IHS), K. Belcher (ECT), J. Sickels (NBL), C. Jonah (CHM),
J. Zebrowski (NBL).

Aziz Uras

Too good to be true?

Last month I reported that the track workouts at North Central College
were essentially free. I have since found out that the North Central
Track Club *encourages* runners who regularly run on Wednesday nights to
pay their \$40 dues. Of course, you can come a few times without paying
to see if you enjoy it.

I still encourage you to join their weekly workouts. You will get to run
on a very nice, brand new track with other runners of your ability. The
runners from North Central are a great group of people to get to know,
and you\'ll recognize many familiar faces from our Argonne Running Club.

Running these workouts will help you to pick up your pace. You will also
be surprised at how many familiar faces you will soon start seeing at
local races. Again, these workouts are at the North Central College
track every Wednesday night at 6:15 PM. Hope to see you there, and
don\'t forget your water bottle.

John Schlueter

Calling All Mountain Goats

The Argonne Running Club challenges all of our members to run the \"IPNS
Hill Challenge\" on Wednesday May 20. The ARC\'s May fun run will be
sponsored by the IPNS Division and will feature a run up and down the
ramp located next to Bldg. 360. The 5 K fun run and 2 mile walk will
begin outside the Bldg. 360 lobby at noon. Refreshments will await
participants at the conclusion of the race at the bottom of the hill.
For all you River to River Relay runners, this should be a walk in the
park for you!

Thugs Captured!

Over the past year, I have included stories in this newsletter about how
runners (including some of our own) have been burglarized at off-site
running events. A ring of thieves had been targeting race events in
northern Illinois through a clever scheme. They realized that most
runners bring a wallet with them to a race, but don\'t carry it with
them when they run. Thus, during the race, most parked cars will contain
money and wallets. The thieves also had window of time when all runners
were out on the race course in which they could safely break into the
runner\'s cars. Frequently, the crooks would leave the wallet, but take
a credit card or a few checks from a checkbook in order to give them
more time to cash in on their crime.

There is now some good news in this story. In March, police caught two
men at the Mountain Goat Hill Run in Danville who were breaking into
parked cards during the race. A third suspect was later arrested. It is
good to see that some progress has been make to stop these crimes, but
it is believed that as many as nine people may be involved in these
incidents.

Thus, I\'d like to issue another warning to all our runners. Although
there have been some arrests, there are more thieves out there who will
be looking to rip you off at races. In order to avoid being the victim
of a car theft, be sure to lock your car and take your car key with you
(use a safety pin to hook one key to your shorts if you don\'t have
pockets). Also, keep purses, wallets, and valuables out of sight, or
hidden in your trunk. Even better, don\'t bring your full wallet or much
cash to a race. You probably only need a few dollars and a drivers
license to go to a race.

I encourage you to go out and enjoy races around the area this summer.
Although most runners are very friendly, helpful, etc. there are some
bad apples out there (not necessarily runners) who are looking for a
chance to rip you off. Have a great race, but be alert, and be
forewarned!

John Schlueter

A Word of Thanks

Even though I have been editing the newsletter for over a year now, I
want to let everyone know that I\'ve had some help with getting this
newsletter out. First of all, the creative fliers that announce each
month\'s races are put together by Laurie Culbert. Secondly, Corrie
Patterson has been distributing the newsletter each month. I also want
to thank all the people who contribute stories to the newsletter,
especially Karl Grimm, who regularly writes stories. Next time you see
these people, be sure to thank them for their efforts.

Quote

\"In my 1976 Training Diary is a photo of Jack Nicholson from *One Flew
Over the Cuckoo\'s Nest*. It\'s a facial shot of him trying to pull out
the drinking trough and use it to smash one of the barred windows to
escape. One of the other patients said: \'Don\'t be stupid, you can\'t
do that.\' Jack replied, \'Yes I can, anything is possible.\' He
strained his guts working at it for a few minutes with the veins
sticking out of his neck. Of course he couldn\'t move the bloody thing.
They all said: \'We told you that you couldn\'t do it\' Nicholson looked
at them and said: \'At least I tried, you bastards.\' To me that
summarizes what I think about life.\"

Chris Wardlaw

2:11 Australian marathoner

Cool Down