**DON'T LET YOUR JOB SEARCH BECOME**

**A SAD COUNTRY SONG**

\- Written by the CTC Staff

**[Introduction]{.underline}**

We've seen a lot of job seekers pass through the Career Transition
Center. Many have been successful in finding their next place in the
universe, but some of them get stuck for a little while In their search.
They apply for lots of jobs, but never get hired.

So, we have been studying that phenomena, trying to figure out why some
get stuck. The reasons are rarely obvious. They can have perfect
resumes. Their career history can be impressive. Their qualifications
and credentials can be more than adequate. What bogs them down while
their colleagues move ahead?

This article will outline a few of the possibilities that have occurred
to us, but we do so with a few reservations.

First, in this article we are taking a rather light approach to a
subject that can be very serious. So, here at the beginning we ask your
forgiveness for our facetiousness. Sometimes humor makes a tough
observation easier to take, but sometimes it trivializes it. Please be
assured that our intentions are definitely the former, not the latter.

Second, there are lots of reasons for getting stuck and the reasons are
always very individual. We offer these possibilities for your
consideration only. If you are stuck in your job search and one or more
of these possibilities makes you cringe in self-recognition, then you
might want to re-evaluate your job search strategy. You might even want
to try one of the possible "remedies" we are suggesting to help get you
unstuck. But again, solutions are unique to every individual. We would
be happy to consult with you in person, via telephone, or via e-mail on
finding a possible solution for you.

Finally, only one of us is a psychologist and [none]{.underline} of us
is claiming any "Dr. Phil" expertise. This isn't an attempt to
psychoanalyze or understand anyone's deep, hidden motives and desires.
We are only reporting on trends we have observed in our clients from the
foreign affairs agencies during more than 50 collective years of career
counseling work. And we do this in hopes that we -- and you -- can learn
some preventive techniques from these trends.

**[Notes from Academe]{.underline}**

We do, however, have two PhDs on staff who -- as PhDs are prone to do --
want to start by referring you to the experts in the field. Lucky for
us, our two PhDs are referring us to William Bridges who has actually
produced some helpful guidance for people leaving longtime employment --
guidance that might help keep our clients from getting stuck on their
way forward. Through his own transition, and helping others with their
transitions, Bridges noticed a three stage pattern, outlined in his
[Transitions: Making Sense of Life's Changes]{.underline} (DaCapo Press,
2004).   Many of our clients have identified with this model which
reassured them that they are experiencing the natural stages of
transition. 

The first stage of a transition, according to Bridges, is an ending. 
Something significant ends -- a job, a relationship, a way of life.  
Persons ending longtime careers with the U.S. government fit that
definition -- your commitment to and formal affiliation with the
institution end.  Whether the ending is by choice or not, it is an
ending, and can be difficult.  Endings must be dealt with, says Bridges,
before we can move on with whatever comes next in our lives.  This is
one reason the Career Transition Center asks participants in the Job
Search Program to consider their pasts and the present as they design
their futures.  There is no "normal" reaction to an ending, according to
Bridges.  It is important, however, to let ourselves react to endings. 
They are challenges, and sometimes ordeals, but they are necessary
precursors to a new life.  Give yourself time to let go of the past so
that you can give your full energy to the future.

Bridges calls the second stage of transitions "The Neutral Zone."   This
is a time reminiscent of "coming of age" transitions in some cultures
where adolescents leave what they have known, go to a whole new
experience, and return with a new sense of self.  A JSP participant
several years ago, for example, planned a weeklong silent retreat in the
hills of Virginia.  This fallow period was intentionally designed as a
time of rest and relaxation, as well as consideration of her life
without the encumbrances of her past and present, nor the stresses of
decision-making and planning for an as-yet-unknown future.  Some people
report that the neutral zone is a time of spiritual reawakening or that
imagination and/or dreams are guides to the future, a particularly rich
time for insight, according to Bridges.  But some of you may be
impatient, wanting your "new self" to materialize quickly.  It doesn't
work that way.  Most of you will experience a time of "emptiness in
which the old reality looks transparent and nothing feels solid
anymore."  This can be a chaotic time.  Bridges offers the following
practical suggestions for making meaning in the neutral zone:

-   Find a regular time and place to be alone.

-   Begin a log of neutral zone experiences. 

-   Take this pause in the action of your life to write an
    autobiography.

-   Take this opportunity to discover what you really want.

-   Think of what would be unlived in your life if it ended today. 

-   Take a few days to go on your own version of a passage journey.

The final stage is making a beginning.  Please note the wording here: it
is not a beginning, but the *[MAKING]{.underline}* of a beginning.  Not
a *fait accompli* itself, but steps in the direction of a new, desired
reality.  We design the Job Search Program to give you some tools to
help you with this design. But timing is everything and many of JSP
participants aren't ready to do this work when they get to us. They have
frantically tried to finish the work on their desks and to train their
replacements, arriving at JSP breathless and very tired. Hopefully,
those participants can use the tools and resources we provide whenever
they are ready to start making a beginning.

There is often little fanfare to the new beginning. "When we are ready
to make a beginning, we will shortly find an opportunity.  The
transition process involves an inner realignment and a renewal of
energy," according to Bridges.  The signals of realignment are usually
subtle -- an idea, an impression, a comment or an image, "imagining some
scene or activity and feeling attracted to it."   The movement toward a
new beginning is usually internal, rather than external, though external
opportunities may provoke the new beginning.   "To make a new beginning,
it is important to do more than simply persevere."

-   Stop putting all your energy into getting ready for a change -- take
    some direct action instead. 

-   Begin to identify yourself with the final result of the new
    beginning.

-   Take things step by step.  Don't be distracted. 

These work only if what you are beginning is something "that has roots
deep in your own wanting." 

***O.K., here goes!***

\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*

**THE SAD SONGS**

**["He/She/It Done Me Wrong" Songs]{.underline}**

Many of our clients who have gotten stuck in their job search had left
government service because something had gone wrong. They were "tic-ed"
out. They had a boss and a job they hated with no chance for transfer or
promotion to another less odious job. They were forced to retire -- in
their prime -- because of their age.

These folks are often disillusioned, hurt, angry, and/or bitter. Even
though they may have had plenty of warning that the day of separation
was coming, they are somehow caught unawares, refusing to believe the
day has come. Their emotions have been so tied up in that separation
trauma that those negative emotions have congealed into a kind of
quicksand that won't let them move forward to get on with their lives.
Still filing grievances and protests, they go through the Job Search
Program paying very little attention to the speakers, rarely
participating, and frequently skipping classes. Then it's over and they
must begin a job search.

When these job seekers are interviewed, their negative feelings and
emotions ooze out through their responses and are easily detected by
potential employers. The job seeker frequently doesn't realize this is
happening and will vigorously deny it, but it's there like a angry aura.
Nobody wants to work with a negative colleague or have to deal on a
daily basis with the walking wounded, so these candidates usually don't
get hired, despite excellent qualifications for the particular job.

These job seekers have to get over whatever has happened to them and get
on with their lives. This, of course, is a lot easier said than done. If
they are smart enough and strong enough at the time, maybe they can sit
down and think about what they have learned from that bad experience,
then figure out how to avoid another experience like it in the future.
But, whatever they do, somehow, they have to shove that anger and
bitterness into a closet, slam the door shut, and throw away the key.

Once they have put the past to rest -- or, at least, sealed it in the
closet for a while, these professionals can let their positive
interests, skills, and abilities shine through to give them a much
better chance of being hired into their next job.

*Bye, bye, love, I'll catch you later*

*Got my lead foot down on my accelerator*

*And the rearview mirror torn off!*

*'Cause I ain't lookin' back and that's a fact.*

*- "Bye Bye" sung by JoDee Messina and written by Phil Vassar and Rory
Michael Bourke*

**["Too Young To Feel This Old" Songs]{.underline}**

We see this particular phenomena more often in Foreign Service employees
than in Civil Service employees, but it can occur to anyone. These are
the JSP participants who are so exhausted and out of it that they can
barely put a resume together in the Job Search Program.

Some of them have recently served at a dangerous post, have experienced
a traumatic event, or have simply endured hardship after hardship. Their
pockets have been picked, their houses burgled, their cars stolen at
gunpoint. They have toughed it out through coup d'etats, civil unrest,
invasions, evacuations, and bad bosses. They have developed symbiotic
relationships with all kinds of parasites and have learned to live
without reliable water, electricity, and dry cleaning. They have worked
60 to 80 hour weeks for so long that they can't even remember who they
used to be and are too tired to care about figuring it out. They are so
burnt out on their jobs that they know they can't serve on another
housing board or interview another visa applicant without going postal.

*The competition\'s getting younger\
Tougher broncs, you know I can\'t recall\
The worn out tape of Chris LeDoux, lonely women and bad booze\
Seem to be the only friends I\'ve left at all\
\
And the white line\'s getting longer and the saddle\'s getting cold\
I\'m much too young to feel this damn old\
All my cards are on the table with no ace left in the hole\
I\'m much too young to feel this damn old\
*

*- "Much Too Young" sung by Garth Brooks*

Now that they are back in the good ole USA, just a trip to a grocery
store filled with too many choices of toothpaste can upset them. They
watch the eyes of their friends and families glaze over as they try to
recount their experiences and explain their adjustment problems. They've
missed the entire long run of "Friends" and haven't a clue what CSI
might stand for. They just don't fit in and they are uncomfortable.

These folks are profoundly tired. Many are downright disoriented. Some
cry easily and others want to sleep all the time. They are stressed out,
burnt out, lonely, and/or depressed. They may be suffering from post
traumatic stress disorder, re-entry trauma, depression, anxiety, or
other serious malady.

Not a good time to ponder their job possibilities! Not a good time to be
projecting their best image! This group needs to recover first, then --
and only then \-- get on with their new lives.

**["What Part of No Don't You Understand?" Songs]{.underline}**

From a career counselor's point of view, this negative bunch can be the
most frustrating to work with. These people defeat every suggestion for
positive action that comes their way. Some are irritating know-it-alls
who live to prove everyone else in the world wrong and themselves right
(you know the type!). Some are just too sunk in depression to see any
possibilities or too afraid to take a risk. Some have no imagination and
nothing anyone can say will spark their interest or give them ideas.
Some are angry and are taking it out on anyone who broaches the
possibility that life might not be so bad after all. And some are in
self-destruct mode, determined from the get-go to fail.

*\
*Our Counselors, fellow JSP participants, friends, and family members
will propose various courses of action and several possible professional
pursuits, only to be told that none of their suggestions can work. "Yes,
that's a good idea, but it won't work for me because ...." Eventually
those who try to help just give up.

*I\'ve tried some straight conversation\
Even whispered the words in your ear\
I\'ve talked \'till I\'m blue in the face\
And thought I made myself perfectly clear\
Now I\'m on the edge of leavin\'\
And you\'re asking how can that be\
I\'ve wasted too much breath explaining\
Oh, and when did you ever listen to me?!\
*

*- "When Did You Ever Listen To Me?" sung by Rebecca Lynn Howard*

Sufferers of this "yes, but" disease are beat before they've started.
They must open their minds to possibilities and even take some risks.
They may even have to drum up the courage to fail. In the words of
another foreign affairs agency retiree, Ben Franklin: "Nothing ventured,
nothing gained."

**["Startin' Over" Songs]{.underline}**

Some of our clients embrace the idea of reinventing themselves, but it's
still tough to start over when your hair is starting to gray! There are
fears involved -- fear that your skills aren't up-to-date, fear that you
can't compete or keep up with the Twenty-somethings. There are worries
involved -- worry about looking old, worry about age discrimination,
worry about finances. There is also resentment -- about having to prove
yourself again, about dealing with a boss who is younger than you, about
only receiving two weeks of annual leave each year in a new job.

*I used to be hell on wheels*

*Back when I was a younger man*

*Now my body says you can\'t do this, boy*

*But my pride says, oh yes, you can\...*

*I ain\'t as good as I once was*

*That\'s just the cold hard truth*

*I still throw a few back, talk a little smack*

*When I\'m feelin\' bullet proof*

*So don\'t double-dog dare me now*

*\'Cause I might have to call your bluff*

*I ain\'t as good as I once was, but I\'m as good once*

*As I ever was*

*- "As Good As I Once Was" sung by Toby Keith*

The job search process has changed dramatically during those 20 or 30
years you were working for Uncle Sam. But it still takes a lot of time
and energy and it is still one of the toughest tests of your
self-confidence.

*Starting over again is a bit like dancing\
You just need someone to lead and take it slow\
So lay your head on my shoulder\
Let me hold you close, that\'s it\
There you go\
There you go, you\'re doing fine\
Take each day like a step, one at a time\
Put one foot in front of the other\
And the next thing you know\
That\'s it\
There you go\
\
Every day is like a new beginning\
One door opens, while another starts to close\
But just slip your arms around me\
Cause life\'s a dance, don\'t you know\
That\'s it\
There you go\
*

*- "There Ya Go" sung by Alan Jackson*

Our clients who have had problems with the concept of starting over
eventually realize that careers today do not progress the way they used
to. In our parents' days, people often worked for the same company all
their life until retirement. Nowadays, a person may work for several
companies during their professional career. Your job market is a lot
more active and volatile than your Daddy's was. There are a lot of us
gray-haired types competing for jobs in this market. Lucky for us, age
discrimination is not as prevalent as it used to be. It's still out
there, but, if your attitude and skills aren't old, then you can triumph
over old fashioned ideas about mature professionals.

**\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\***

**THE REMEDIES**

**(or how to put some drive back in your country!)**

*Yeah, put some drive in your country\
Keep country drivin\' on\
When the music gets you movin\'\
You know that can\'t be wrong\
Every time I hear that outlaw stuff on my car radio\
It makes me wanna drive it just as fast as it will go\
Put some drive in your country\
Let\'s keep country drivin\' on*

*- "Put Some Drive In Your Country" sung by Travis Tritt*

So, how do job seekers who can't seem to succeed in their job search get
unstuck? The answer depends on the individual and his or her
circumstances. We are going to propose a few possible remedies.

**[Let That Pony Run!]{.underline}**

One really good suggestion is to take up vigorous daily exercise.
Exercise is good for physical health and appearance, plus it generates
good chemicals in the brain which will fight depression and anger. Don't
hurt yourself, but sweat a little!

Run the anger or bitterness or depression or mental fatigue out of your
system until you are too tired to think about it. Bang that tennis ball
against a practice wall so hard that the sweat blinds your eyes. Take up
boxing, imagine your evil ex-boss is the punching bag, and pummel the
dirty dog. Lift weights until your muscles tremble. Swim until you're a
prune.

*\'Cause you do what you gotta do\
And you know what you know\
You hang on \'til you can\'t hang on\
Then you learn to let go\
And you get what you need sometimes\
When it\'s all said and done\
You do what you gotta do\
Then you let that pony run\
Then you let that pony run*

*- "Let That Pony Run" sung by Pam Tillis*

Physiologists say that a proper exercise program, coupled with a good
diet, cannot only slow the physical aging process, but, within limits,
reverse it. Too tired to exercise? Exercise anyway -- you will find, in
a very short time, that you are *[less]{.underline}* tired.

**[A License To Chill]{.underline}**

Many of our clients take the Job Search Program during their last weeks
of government employment, but do not start their job searches
immediately. Some have family issues that need immediate attention and
some chose to renovate their homes at this time. Others just take some
time to rest and recuperate. (Remember that "Neutral Zone?") We heartily
approve of that plan and recommend it to all.

You need time to celebrate your newfound freedom. You may even need time
to grieve, saying goodbye to an interesting and fruitful career. You
need time to shift gears, to research your options, to brainstorm with
family and friends. You just retired and you deserve this!

This R&R can last a week or a month or a year. Consider a long road trip
to reacquaint yourself with your country \-- point your car in whatever
direction strikes your fancy, drive with the windows open and the music
turned up loud, then stop wherever the sun sets.

*What my heart needs now is rest\
So I\'m packin\' up and I\'m headin\' west\
My mind\'s made up, I put it to the test\
Pushin\' myself and this old machine\
Burnin\' fumes and what\'s left of my dreams\
Let \'em go \'cause I don\'t need no strings\
Just give me a road and a little gasoline*

*- "A Little Gasoline" sung by Terri Clark*

For those returning to the US from abroad, getting accustomed to the ole
USA  can be daunting.  "Whose country is this?" you might ask as you
traverse the "new" culture and don't recognize much.  Sure, you have
transitioned to the U.S. many times for DC assignments, but always with
the understanding that the stay was temporary, that the next assignment
 just a few years away.  Yes, you have moved easily among many countries
of the world, but this transition is very different from those.  You
don't have the safety net of a job and housing waiting for you, an
organizational culture that you know well, a GSO to take care of
logistical issues, nor an in-place community welcoming you.  The absence
of those factors may loom large. 

If you are having difficulty adapting to life in the US, remember what
Crossing Cultures 101 teaches us about re-entry to one's home culture.
First, the re-entry transition is often more disruptive than the initial
leaving from the home culture.  Second, there is usually an initial
stage of high spirits followed by a middle stage of difficulty. That
difficulty is often characterized by such comments as "What have I
done?" or  "I want to go back; I don't belong here."   Finally, it takes
time to get to the point where one feels reintegrated into the home
culture.  Take deep breaths and one step at a time.  Find a place where
you "fit" and begin to reintegrate there -- meeting with your circle of
 "old" friends or colleagues; getting reacquainted with immediate and
extended family members; taking a class where you might make a new
friend.   Accept that you don't have to feel comfortable nor competent
navigating the US right away.  One step at a time!

If you plan a short rest period, then go to the beach or the mountains,
just sit quietly, and only think about the beautiful scenery \-- don\'t
do anything more strenuous than rock a rocking chair on a porch, eat a
nice meal, or read a romance novel.  We're talking sunshine, a large
drink with an umbrella in it, and some really good music here, folks!

*Let the rat race run, roll around in the sun until*

*Trouble turns funny, songs get sung*

*A little bit of money, the night\'s still young*

*Leave me alone I\'ve got a license,*

*A license to chill*

*- "License to Chill" sung by Jimmy Buffet and Kenny Chesney*

So, chill! Both literally and figuratively. This is your time -- take
advantage. Rest, relax -- both body and mind. You will be surprised to
find just how inconsequential that nasty old boss seems when you have
just caught a three pound bass, or are sipping a delicious drink (with
umbrella, of course) while sitting on a porch watching the sunset over
the lake and the distant mountains.

*Well, I might go get me a new tattoo\
Or take my old Harley for a three day cruise\
Might even grow me a fu manchu*

*And it\'s a great day to be alive\
I know the sun\'s still shining\
When I close my eyes\
There\'s some hard times in the neighborhood\
But why can\'t every day be just this good*

*- \"It\'s A Great Day To Be Alive\" sung by Travis Tritt; written by
Darrell Scott*

**[I\'m Not Talkin' 'Bout Locking Down Forever, Baby!]{.underline}**

For the "No-sayers" and the "Yes-but" people out there, we say, "Give it
a chance! Take a risk! Open your mind to the possibilities!!" Actually
[consider]{.underline} the suggestions about your future possibilities
that are made to you by your friends, colleagues, family, and
counselors. They probably know you and your abilities pretty well. They
may have seen something about you that you are just too "no-stuck" to
see!

*Well, I\'m not talkin' 'bout locking down forever, baby.\
That would be too demanding.\
I\'m just talkin' 'bout two lonely people\
who might reach a little understanding.\
I\'m not talkin' 'bout knocking out heaven\
with whether we\'re wrong or we\'re right.\
I\'m not talkin' 'bout hooking up and hanging out.\
I\'m just talkin' 'bout tonight.\
*

*- "I'm Just Talkin' About Tonight" sung by Toby Keith; written by Toby
Keith and Scotty Emerick*

Every cloud has a silver lining. An old cliché, right? Yes, but clichés,
just like stereotypes, always have a basis in fact. Norman Vincent Peale
wrote a book about the power of positive thinking, saying, in essence,
that positive thinking is better than negative thinking. Remember what
we said about giving a little love -- the way you feel is positive.
Adopt the habit of looking for that silver lining rather than the cloud.
You will feel, act, and be much better. Attitude isn't everything, but
it's certainly a large part.

**[No Fear]{.underline}**

Start over? You've done it thousands of times -- new job, new post,
marriage, divorce, birth of children -- all were new starts. In fact,
you start over every day of your life just by getting out of bed. Were
you ever anxious as you started over? Sure you were. But, you dealt with
those, and you can deal with this, too.

A song from "The King and I" (yes, we stray from our country theme, but
we're still talking music and we're still talking you) has lyrics like:
"Make believe you're brave and the trick will take you far. You can be
as brave as you make believe you are." You have coped, and coped well,
for years. If you take care of your physical, mental and emotional
needs, we have no doubt that you will cope with this transition.

*I want a road stretching out before me*

*I want a radio in my ear*

*I want a full tank of absolution*

*No fear*

*I want a rainstorm to pull me over*

*Then a sky that begins to clear*

*Towards the truest of destinations*

*No fear*

*I used to hit every wall there was*

*I used to run away from love*

*All I ever wanted was right here*

*But I had to reach way down inside*

*I had to have faith I\'d find*

*No fear*

*I want the world to just keep on turning*

*I want the dawn in my rear view mirror*

*I want to hear my own voice singing*

*No fear*

*- "No Fear" sung by Terri Clark; written by Terri Clark and Mary Chapin
Carpenter*

**[What The World Needs Now Is Love]{.underline}**

One of the best ways to get your mind off your own troubles and woes is
to do something for somebody else \-- so commit an act of kindness.

*With a random act of senseless kindness*

*Unexpected hand to help remind us*

*A little bit of love is a cure for hate*

*It's easy to give up, but it's never too late*

*A single step in the right direction*

*Person to person making a connection*

*We can change the world that's become so violent*

*With a random act of senseless kindness*

*- "Random Act of Kindness" sung by South Sixty Five*

Volunteer for a good cause. Visit a relative in assisted living.
Baby-sit for an exhausted young mother at the end of her rope. Donate
old clothes to a homeless shelter. Pick up trash on a hiking trail. Walk
dogs for the shelter. Help plant flowers along a highway. Tutor a
student struggling with a new language and culture. There is so much
need out there in the world that these opportunities will not be hard to
find. And your help is needed NOW!

*What the world needs now is love\
Love and only love\
A little help from up above\
A way to make a better day\
Let\'s come together lay our difference down\
Spread it all around\
That\'s what the world needs now*

*- "What The World Needs Now Is Love" sung by Wynona Judd*

When you help someone else, then you will feel better mentally,
physically, spiritually. Remember the first time you fell in love? Sure
you do. You could leap tall buildings at a single bound, walk on air or
water, and just wrap the world around your finger -- not to mention
dancing all night! Maybe you won't be able to recreate that state, but
you sure will feel good about yourself when your great aunt calls you,
with tears of joy in her voice, to thank you for the flowers you just
sent to her, or your child or grandchild says a garbled "thank you"
while slurping the ice cream cone you just bought him or her on the spur
of the moment. You will stand taller and breathe more deeply, thereby
increasing your oxygen intake, enabling the synapses in the brain to
fire more readily, etc., etc. You have just taken a day or two off the
physical aging process, not to mention that positive glow that you feel.

*Sometimes this crazy world can make us all feel bad\
I sit and watch the news and just get mad\
We need to stop and smell the roses in the ground\
So get out today\
Spread a little love around\
\
Talk to a neighbor\
Volunteer a favor\
Help out a stranger when his car\'s broke down\
Take your wife a kissin\'\
When your kids talk - listen\
It makes a lovely sound\
Spread a little love around\
*

*- "Spread A Little Love Around" sung by Darryl Worley*

**[Mental Floss]{.underline}**

You are starting a new chapter in your life, so why not learn some new
skills to make it a better chapter? You could add some new computer
software skills to help you compete with young professionals who were
loading new software at age 4. If you are thinking about starting your
own business, then a few introductory courses offered by the Small
Business Administration might help you make up your mind. How about a
course on investing to help you figure out how to spend that annual
leave money? Or maybe you can finally take that course on Italian Opera
that you have wistfully thought about for years but never had the time
or energy to pursue. Learning keeps your brain limber and engaged. New
ideas, new interests, and new friends spring from learning.

*In One Ear And Out The Other\
Don\'t You Get Criss-Crossed\
I Recommend You Try A Little\...\
Mental Floss\
*

*- "Mental Floss" written and sung by Jimmy Buffet*

**[A New Kind Of Suit]{.underline}**

You've got to look sharp to compete with the Twenty-Somethings. So, lose
that stupid comb-over and consult a professional about a new hairdo.
Start eating right and maybe lose a little weight. Get rid of those
spectacles with big round lenses or those granny glasses you bought at
the drug store and wear low on your nose; have the laser surgery, buy
some fashionable new frames, or get contacts. Get the make-up lady at
your local department store to teach you how to use make-up in the
21^st^ Century. Use the rustic and colorful backpack made in Bolivia on
weekends and buy yourself a proper briefcase to take to work. Burn those
washable seersucker suits you've been wearing in the tropics for the
past 20 years.

*He\'s gone country, look at them boots\
He\'s gone country, but to her roots\
He\'s gone country, a new kind of suit\
He\'s gone country, here he comes\
Yeah he\'s gone country, a new kind of walk\
He\'s gone country, a new kind of talk\
He\'s gone country, look at them boots\
He\'s gone country, oh, back to his roots*

*- "Gone Country" sung by Alan Jackson*

Assess your wardrobe and plan what you need. Have your colors done. Make
an appointment with a wardrobe consultants at a nice big clothing store
like Nordstrom or Macys. Last year some JSP graduates got together and
paid the image consultant who spoke to their class to take a look at
their "interview clothes." They each modeled one or two suits and asked
her to critique their appearance. The most expensive suggestion she made
was to invest in some minor alterations -- a tuck here, a hem there.
Most of her recommendations pertained to how the garment was worn!

Get a massage, an oil treatment, a wax, a facial, a manicure or whatever
it takes to revitalize you. You may never be 20 again, but you will feel
better when you look better.

*\
Why\'d you come in here lookin\' like that\
In your high heeled boots and your painted-on jeans\
All decked out like a cowgirl\'s dream\
Waltzing right in here lookin\' like that\
Why\'d you come in here lookin\' like that\
When you could stop traffic in a gunney sack\
Why you\'re almost givin\' me a heart attack\
When you waltz right in here lookin\' like that!*

*- "Why'd You Come In Here Lookin' Like That?" sung and written by Dolly
Parton*

**[Better Things To Do]{.underline}**

During a job search, a job seeker often feels like s/he holds none of
the power in the search, like s/he has lost control of his life. This is
a normal feeling and there are ways to combat it.

First, get control of your job search. Do your research on the market
and the employers. Keep meticulous notes and records of all your
conversations and correspondence. Schedule a certain number of
information interviews and networking events for every week. Write at
least one letter or make at least one telephone call every working day.
Set aside some time every day to learn or practice a new skill. Put some
structure in your job searching days. Write thank you notes to all the
great colleagues and contacts in your previous job, including your new
business card with your new contact details (you never know when a small
gesture like that might pay off!)

At the same time, catch up on all those projects you've been meaning to
do for ages but haven't had a chance to complete. Get your finances in
order -- create a budget, shred those old bank statements, consolidate
accounts, research the market, make sure your investments are in
companies that don't pollute the environment, consult a financial
planner. Update your will, your powers of attorney, and related
documents. Clean and organize the basement and the garage just like they
do on HGTV. Plant a herb garden in your kitchen window sill.

*I could wash my car in the rain\
Change my new guitar strings\
Mow the yard just the same as I did yesterday\
I don\'t need to waste my time crying over you\
I got better things to do\
\
Check the air in my tires\
Straighten my stereo wires\
Count the stars in the sky or just get on with my life\
I don\'t need to waste my time crying over you\
I got better things to do\
I got better things to do*

*- "Better Things to Do" sung by Terri Clark*

You might even want to make a list of the projects. As you cross them
off, you will feel more productive and in control. Don't forget to
include the fun projects and rituals that can enrich your daily life --
making your daughter a quilt from all the t-shirts she wore for her
sport, having tea every afternoon with your elderly friend next door,
organizing family photos, sharing a cool glass of wine with your spouse
after all your chores are done each day, writing a weekly note to your
aunt in the assisted living facility.

*Like go for a walk, say a little prayer\
Take a deep breath of mountain air\
Put on my glove and play some catch\
It\'s time that I make time for that\
Wade the shore and cast a line\
Pick up a long lost friend of mine\
Sit on the porch and give my girl a kiss\
Start livin\', that\'s the next thing on my list\
\
Raise a little hell, laugh \'til it hurts\
Put an extra five in the plate at church\
Call up my folks just to chat\
It\'s time that I make time for that\
Stay up late, then oversleep\
Show her what she means to me\
Catch up on all the things I\'ve always missed\
Just start livin\', that\'s the next thing on my list\
\
Under an old brass paperweight\
Is my list of things to do today*

*- "My List" sung by Toby Keith; written by Tim James and Rand Bishop*

Just adding some structure and patterns to your life can make you feel
more positive -- and productive and useful and needed. It also keeps you
moving forward, moving toward your goals. And that's a very satisfying
feeling.

**[Making It To The Other Side]{.underline}**

There are certain times in your life when you need to consult with
someone outside your immediate circle, with someone who can offer an
objective and expert point of view. This person can be a psychiatrist,
psychologist, therapist, priest, pastor, rabbi, or iman; but it needs to
be someone with legitimate counseling credentials who you trust and
respect.

Mental health problems that our clients have struggled with have
included depression, anxiety, and post traumatic stress disorder. Others
just don't know what is their purpose in life or what direction to take
now and seek professional help during their transition.

When your problems or emotions are so overwhelming that they are
affecting your personality and lifestyle, then you should definitely
consult with a professional counselor. A counselor may simply listen. A
counselor may discuss the problem and its possible solutions with you. A
counselor may even prescribe a remedy for you -- exercise, reading,
prayer, medicine, journaling, yoga, meditation. The treatments vary
according to the practitioner and should be tailored to you and your
needs.

Many people seek the help of mental health professionals. You would not
be the first or the last. These counselors are confidential, no one ever
need know that you consulted them. They are an important resource in
this complicated world we live in.

*Cause it ain\'t about pride now*

*Well, it ain\'t about guilt*

*You\'ve just come to a bridge*

*That you still ain\'t built*

*Sit down here with me*

*I\'ll tell you about the other side*

*The other side of loneliness*

*The other side of the blues*

*There really is a place like this*

*Where the sun is gonna shine for you*

*You\'ll feel that old restlessness*

*Your tears have all been cried*

*You\'ll find your way over this*

*And you\'ll make it to the other side*

*- "The Other Side" sung by Wynona Judd and written by Kevin Welch*

State Department's Employee Counseling Service can refer you to a mental
health professional here in the DC area. Your General Practitioner can
also refer you. Even the yellow pages have listings. There is help out
there. Things can get better. Get help if you need it.

*Never mind the struggle*

*Never mind these tears I cry*

*Through it all I will stay humble*

*As I keep a watchful eye*

*For that sweeter change of fortune*

*That\'s closer now than it\'s been*

*Where the memories that haunt me*

*Are gonna someday be my friend*

*When that long stretch of lonesome finally comes to an end*

*My heart belonging to someone*

*It\'ll never be longing again*

*And the shadows that have dogged me since I can\'t remember when*

*Finally give quarter*

*To the sunlight on my skin*

*- "Long Stretch of Lonesome" sung by Patty Loveless*

**[Stand By Me]{.underline}**

Many of our clients find support, encouragement, and guidance in their
personal belief system, especially during times of transition. Whatever
entity or philosophy you believe in, call upon it now to keep you on
track.

*When the storms of life are raging, stand by me\
When the storms of life are raging, stand by me\
When the world is tossing me like a ship upon the sea\
Thou who rulest wind and water, stand by me\
In the midst of tribulation, stand by me; in the midst of tribulation,
stand by me\
When the hosts of hell assail and my strength begins to fail\
Thou who never lost a battle stand by me\
\
In the midst of faults and failures, stand by me\
In the midst of faults and failures, stand by me\
When I do the best I can and my friends misunderstand\
Thou who knowest all about me, stand by me\
*

*- "Stand By Me" written and sung by Ernest Tubb*

\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*

**[In Summary]{.underline}**

**[Welcome to My Revolution!]{.underline}**

Job searches and similar transitions are tough ordeals and try the best
of us. But the time you spend on the job search may also be a time of
self-discovery. What better way to know yourself than to review your
past, your skills, your values, your priorities, your hopes? Our clients
who find a job immediately are few. For most it takes a lot of time,
work, perseverance, and faith. Faith or confidence in yourself, your
abilities, and your potential may be the hardest to maintain during the
search. We hope that one or more of the remedies we have suggested here
will help keep you from getting stuck.

*Resiliently reclaiming me\
Refining my recovery\
Untwist my fate, unlock the gate\
Let\'s make a little noise\
Cause it\'s a brand new year\
Whoa, welcome to my revolution\
\
Welcome to my revolution, baby, yeah\
Lucky you, lucky me\
The way we were meant to be\
This is my one revolution\
And I make it with no fear\
It\'s never been so clear\
Second chance is what got me here\
To live, to love, today\
Cause it\'s a brand new year*

*- "My Revolution" sung by SheDaisy*