The letter on Christ Church stationery

In my last post, I discussed the fact that Doug Wilson was claiming that his refusal to talk about the Jamin Wight and Steven Silter scandals was because he was bound by confidentiality and also by his need to “protect” “the sheep” from “wolves” who had come forward to “tell the story.” If you need a reference to what Wilson actually wrote, here’s a screencap (click to enlarge).

But here’s the thing: by refusing to answer any questions about these cases and by refusing to apologize for his own actions, Wilson isn’t protecting “the sheep,” he’s protecting himself. And I’ll prove it. Wilson’s huge on proof and not accusing anyone without basis (well, at least if it’s him we’re talking about). So here’s the proof on a silver platter.

Just over ten years ago, Wilson wrote a letter to Gary, the father of Jamin Wight’s abuse victim. Keep in mind: Gary had just found out that one of the Greyfriars seminary students, who had been boarding with them as was very common within the Christ Church community, had sexually abused Gary’s daughter. Wilson tells Gary in this letter that “The elders were very distressed over the way Jamin took sinful advantage of your daughter, but we also have to say that we were just as distressed at your extremely poor judgment as a father and protector.” That’s right. In Wilson’s view, having a daughter who was sexually abused by a seminary student is as much of a problem as doing the actual abusing. Imagine, if you will, being the parent in this situation and having this be the response from your pastor. And now, if you go to Christ Church or any of the other churches backing Wilson in this, recognize that you very well could be if history ever repeats itself. It could be you, unjustly blaming yourself at the behest of your spiritual leaders for not, somehow, preventing your little girl from being sexually abused.

But it doesn’t stop there. Wilson has a lot to say in this letter about the legal process around Jamin’s sentencing. Most of it is convoluted and unclear, referring to “protecting” Gary’s daughter “in the way that you need to,” stating that if Gary doesn’t, he’ll (probably) be refused communion. What exactly is the way Gary needs to protect his daughter? That’s not spelled out, although it is likely that Wilson is referring to “protecting” her from testifying in open court, given that he pressured her parents not to take things to trial. Wilson most certainly does not mean that Gary should request the maximum sentence for Jamin’s crimes. In the matter of requesting anything from the DA, Wilson and his elders “urge you [Gary] to have a merciful heart towards him [Jamin], just as would have others show mercy to you.”

Moreover, Wilson wants a record of what Gary asks the DA for. A written record. Because this is somehow part of “protecting” Gary’s family. It couldn’t possibly be because Wilson wanted to maintain control over a situation involving one of his seminary students.

If you want to read the full letter, here it is in JPG format (again, click to enlarge).

Now, Gary did not play along with this scenario, and told Wilson that he would not. He was subsequently refused communion at Christ Church — the official story was that he wasn’t doing right by his family. His daughter (yes, the one who was abused by Jamin) completely rejects all of these accusations against her father, and describes him as having “the kindest, gentlest heart.” She stresses that she in no way blames him for what happened to her.

So, Doug Wilson: I’ve posted a letter written by you to one person, Gary, who gave me permission to post it. I’ve also obtained permission from his daughter, since the letter is about her and the abuse done to her. So you can’t claim that you’re protecting people’s confidentiality any more.

Are you going to issue a public apology for the way you treated Gary and his daughter, and for the way you’ve publicly misrepresented this situation to people over the years? Because you should know (as I’m sure you do know) that your actions contributed to Jamin marrying and starting a family within your community. I would think that, additionally, you owe an apology to Jamin’s ex-wife for wrangling for “mercy” on Jamin vis a vis his sentencing, as, had he been given a life sentence, she never would have been abused at his hands.

All of this raises some questions around motive. Why would Wilson hold Gary accountable for Jamin’s crimes? And ask that Gary be merciful in Jamin’s court proceedings? I don’t know, but I’m guessing it had something to do with image control. It looks pretty bad if your seminary student is convicted as a child rapist.

I can’t actually speak to Wilson’s motives, either here or in the Steven Sitler case. But I do know that Silter’s dad was comparatively wealthy, at least at the point when the Sitler scandal was going down, and is a CREC deacon. And I also know that church members are allowed, by law, to look at the financial records of their churches. I’m not a member of any CREC church, but it would be really nice if members did a little digging into financial donations from these time periods. I have no way of knowing if this hunch is accurate, other than the fact that in many cases, following the money trail can lead you to the truth.

If he was threatening the victim (via her family) to keep her from testifying against the perpetrator, it may very well have fit the elements of witness intimidation in Idaho. The letter may not be sufficient evidence of it, but an investigation may have revealed other actions that would satisfy the elements.

“…we solemnly charge you to protect your daughter throughout this legal process. We say this recognizing that it has always been your intent to protect, but we want to urge to you to recognize that intent to protect is not the same as protecting”, said to the father for Wight, criminally and sexually abusing his daughter?
I get such a sense of a self important,and lofty tone while he is shaming, manipulating, and blaming. So much more that is not right in this letter…
Doug Wilson, I urge you to recognize that intent to protect is NOT the same as protecting. With all of your “counsel” you may have intended to protect Katie and her baby to come, but you have failed. “Intent to protect is not the same as protecting.” It should be considered whether you should be suspended from the Supper for your dereliction of duties as a pastor.

Let’s hope that this church’s victims sue the *Christian* college and the church for not properly vetting these pedophiles.

There is an epidemic of child sexual abuse in the conservative evangelical church according to the insurance companies (like Church Mutual the largest insurer of churches in the US) and attorneys like Richard Hammer at Church Law & Tax (the sexual abuse of minors if the No. 1 reason that churches are sued every single year and have been sued for years on end).

Honestly I would be happy to travel to where Natalie and her dad are located and have communion with them! I’ll even buy the things we need to have it.

This past year I was ordered to be excommunicated and shunned by my pastors/elders at my authoritarian church in California. My *crime*? I stood my ground against them as they brought their friend a Megan’s List sex offender to church and told no one. They put him in a position of leadership and trust, gave him access to kids and did not tell parents, let him attend everything, and invited him to volunteer at a church camp for children. The pastors/elders said he is all better. His supervising law enforcement agency says he is not all better. I too was threatened by my pastors/elders.
I bought the stuff for communion and have it at home every now and again.

Thank-you, Velour, for standing up for the rights of children! We need brave people to take the hit for kids who have no defense against the authority of God in our churches, self-righteous, word-mongers who claim Christ is their leader…. what utter rubbish. They should be brought to account for risking the safety of their congregations by lying to to them through omitting important warnings about sick people in their midst. You think Wilson will ever truly be sorry for what he has done, the lives he has damaged? Never. He is chosen and will twist words till they bleed what he needs to hear. What I wonder is what has brought us to a state of being so gullible to ‘authority’. What actual training does Wilson sport in his spritiual psych counseling, or in his ministry for that matter….

When Wilson said Gary should be forgiving towards Wight *just as* others would be forgiving towards Gary — there is something off about this logic. First of all, Gary did not sexually abuse his landlord’s daughter, so Gary has had no need to be forgiven in this sense and therefore obligated to somehow pay it forward and forgive someone else accordingly. Let’s say (or, the Bible says) that all sins are equal in the eyes of God; that still is not an applicable principle. It’s almost like Matthew 18 being misapplied, but backwards.

Katie, I will state here what I said in the comments on my blog. If you post a release in writing from Gary, Pat, and Natalie, giving me permission to answer the question posed by this letter — e.g. why did we say Gary failed to protect his daughter — I would be delighted to answer the question.

Doug, the letter was not about Pat or to Pat, or to/about any other member of the family except tangentially in that, obviously, they were part of this family. So I have not been in contact with her or any other member of the family in regard to this situation. The people the letter actually relates to have published the letter themselves (see Natalie’s blog post). The letter was to Gary, from you, about the situation with Natalie. You can absolutely comment on this without dragging other parties into it, unless you’re afraid to actually comment on it without justifying your behavior by bringing up other parties.

I recognize this sort of obstructionist tactic. It is a classic move by someone who is abusive. Note that I am not calling Mr. Wilson an abuser, simply noting that he is using a tactic used by abusers. He sets up hoops to be jumped through. If you were to choose to jump through the hoops, in a classic abusive relationship the next thing to happen would be more hoops set up, and so forth, and so on. All the while the abuser claims to be a reasonable, even respectful, person. It is not the abuser’s fault that no progress is made… or so the abuser would like everyone to think.

Note, once more, that I am not saying Mr. Wilson is an abuser. The tactics, however, are very familiar to those who have studied such behavior, or employed it, or been on the receiving end.

It doesn’t take rocket science to make a decent guess at what is referred to in the letter. Just go back and read Natalie’s blog like I just did. She talks about living in a mess of a home, sleeping in an adjacent room to a single, young man. How on earth does that even happen in the first place? She talks about the distress of their home life over that period – at least 3 years – and the physical manifestations of the severe stress she was experiencing. As a father of many daughters – who is engaged in their lives, actively loves them, and daily prays, sings, ministers, and instructs them – I can’t imagine not seeing that something was clearly wrong with my daughter and investigating it – and I can’t imagine a scenario in which, over the course of 3 years, that I would not at the very least – especially in the midst of extreme familial distress (as the subsequent divorce testifies to) – removing the young man from the house – even if it was just for the sake of focusing on the family. This letter seems completely justified to me.

Brian,
Your post makes NO sense. If what you posted were true about this girl, then all the more reason for these pastors/elders to defend this young girl multiple times over. Instead they’ve blown it over and over and over again.
Those pastors/elders are scraping the bottom of the barrel for excuses and we all know it.
Are you part of that church? Is that why you are defending this. The defendant that abused this young girl, went on to get married, and abused his wife (who is now his ex-wife). No great shocker there, speaking of *rocket science*.

I guess you could re-read it again if it doesn’t make sense. It’s pretty clear. The letter is about the father, as are my comments. I don’t attend Christ Church – I live on the opposite side of the country. I don’t have a dog in the fight. I don’t know all the dynamics of what happened and have been reading with interest strictly because I want to better prepare myself for incidents like this in my own ministry. So I read Natalie’s blog. That’s pretty much what my comments are based on. She details a pretty sour home life. I’m not accusing the young lady of anything and neither was the letter – you seem to be commenting on other info you may have… or perhaps stuff you’ve read on blogs. The letter seems horrified at what happened to her and pretty stern toward the father that allowed a home to be that troubled. It also appears that the church wanted to help all parties – which is what they’re supposed to do. These blackmailing and sweeping under the rug charges seem to come from somewhere else – not this letter.

Brian McClain, the notion of you as any sort of ministerial influence makes me want to throw up. You are the typical example of blind, callous, arrogant leadership that has driven people out of the church for the past three decades, and the worst part is you’re so stupid and willfully ignorant that you’ll never see it. You’ll just keep blindly staggering onward bellowing loudly “COME TO JESUS YE SINNERS, NOTHING TO SEE HERE” while you flail violently away at the lives and the well-being of the people you callously injure with your negligence.

Brian McClain, you do not represent Christ, you represent Patriarchy. As such, you are a viper and a whited sepulcher and no one should ever, ever listen to you for the Gospel. You fill me with the urge to defecate.

Added to the above article about Pastor Jimmy Hinton during in his pedophile dad (also a pastor) is Mom/Wife Clara Hinton’s excellent blog called Finding a Healing Place.http://www.findingahealingplace.com/

Thank you to Pastor Jimmy and his Mom Clara for *getting it right* in dealing with a pedophile in their own family! Thank you for their ministry to help churches and Christians deal with sexual predators.

Here is a helpful brochure on child sexual abuse in the church from Church Mutual, the largest insurer of churches in the United States.

There is an epidemic of child sexual abuse in the conservative evangelical church that exceeds that of the Catholic Church (which has been litigated for decades, had arrests of sex abusers, prosecutions, and convictions, and has had to *change its ways*). The liability is so great, that more and more insurance companies are pulling out of the church insurance business altogether as they simply can’t afford these expensive claims.

Attorney Richard Hammer at Church Law & Tax does a yearly list, after studying thousands of lawsuits every year against churches, and each and every year for years on end the Sexual Abuse of Minors it the No. 1 reason that churches get sued.

“1. Sexual abuse of minors (11.7 percent of cases). Sadly, for several years the sexual molestation of minors has been the number one reason that churches went to court. Victims in these cases generally allege that a church is responsible for their injuries on the basis of negligent selection, retention, or supervision of the perpetrator. Churches have lost many of these cases due to their failure to implement appropriate safeguards in the selection and supervision of employees and volunteers who work with minors.

Incidents of sexual misconduct involving minor victims can be devastating to the victim, the victim’s family, the offender, church leadership, and the church itself.

Because this issue remains the number one reason churches go to court, and because of the significant harm that can be done to children, their families, and church leaders, churches need to take an aggressive position on this matter. Churches must implement policies and procedures that demonstrate proper screening and training of staff and volunteers, proper processes for reporting actual and suspected cases of abuse, and specific attention to the types of arrangements and settings that the church will permit.” – Richard Hammer, attorney Church Law & Tax

In the event that people come here to read this story and need some resources on churches that abuse, here are the two classics that Dr. Ronald Enroth wrote and he has now made them available for FREE in electronic form at the links below:

You can also do a search on the internet using the term *spiritual abuse* to find good blogs and resources. Additionally, the online book sellers have good books on this subject if you use the term *spiritual abuse* in your search.

Finally, a forthcoming, sincere apology from a pastor who was involved in Natalie’s case, but who was not pastoring at Doug Wilson’s church. This pastor apologized to Natalie and her parents and asked for their forgiveness which they have given. It was posted on Facebook yesterday.

I write this with a great deal of reluctance. I have refrained from making any public statements about the recent internet turmoil over two sexual abuse incidents that took place in Moscow, Idaho while I worked there as a faculty member at New St Andrews College and served as pastor of Trinity Reformed Church. I have been concerned that anything I say would add fuel to an overheated debate.

Besides, I’m ambivalent about the wisdom of hashing through these terrible events on media that are poorly suited to the careful, sensitive treatment that sexual abuse demands. Evil must be exposed, but I doubt that the internet is the best place to do it. Inevitably, the ones who are most wholly forgotten are the ones who were most deeply damaged.

A few friends, though, have urged me to say something publicly, since, as has been reported, I was pastor of one of the abusers. These friends thought it would be useful for me to clarify my actions and offer my retrospective assessment of my performance as pastor. Other leaders from Trinity or Christ Church might see things differently, and my comments below are not intended as criticism of them or anyone else. I speak only for myself.

First, I was pastor at Trinity Reformed Church when a member of the church, Jamin Wight, was charged with sexually abuse of a minor, a young teenage girl. By the time I learned of the abuse, it had ceased.

Second, the report implies that I sided with Jamin. That is accurate in some ways. I did sit with him in court, as the report claims; I visited and wrote to Jamin while he was in his court-ordered program; I continued to be his friend and pastor. I believed, and still believe, that I had a duty to provide pastoral counsel and care to Jamin. Neither I nor the other elders at Trinity ignored or excused Jamin’s sin, and there was no attempt on my part or Doug Wilson’s to cover it up.

Third, it is true, as was reported, that Jamin remained a member “in good standing” at Trinity. That means that he did not come under formal church discipline and was not excommunicated. It does not mean we excused his sin. We rebuked him, and I and the elders of Trinity admonished him repeatedly to repent fully. At the time, I believed he was repentant.

It is clear now that I made major errors of judgment. Fundamentally, I misjudged Jamin, badly. I thought he was a godly young man who had fallen into sin. That was wrong. In the course of trying to pastor Jamin through other crises in his life, I came to realize that he is deceptive and highly manipulative, and that I allowed him to manipulate me. A number of the things I said about Jamin to the congregation and court at the time his abuse was uncovered were spun in Jamin’s favor; I am ashamed to realize that I used Jamin’s talking points. Though I never doubted that Jamin was guilty, I trusted his account of the circumstances more readily and longer than I should have, and conversely I disbelieved the victim’s parents (to the best of my recollection, I had no direct contact with the victim, who was a member of Christ Church). I should have seen through Jamin, and didn’t.

As a result, I didn’t appreciate how much damage Jamin did and I was naive about the effect that the abuse had on the victim’s family. I recently asked her and her parents to forgive my pastoral failures, which they have done.

Dear Peter, As I stated in my last letter to you, yes, I do forgive you for your pastoral failures in regards to the way you dealt with Natalie’s abuse. What you have to this day neglected to repent of is your complicity in ripping our marriage apart with your own abusive and irresponsible accusations against me in front of my wife. When we came to you for pastoral care regarding our marriage, I knew I was going into the lions den when we met with you but I was desperate to win my wife back and she is the one who insisted on meeting with you. It is still vivid in my memory watching my wife break down emotionally and run out of the restaurant we met at because of your accusations against me of being a heretic and idolator because I was embracing the ancient faith of Eastern Orthodoxy.

Yeah, wow- this is far from over. These guys are only giving up as much as is being squeezed forcibly out of them, aren’t they? Gary, dude- words cannot describe how empathetic I feel to your situation. This sh*t is not OK, that they did this to you. Don’t let up. Keep the pressure on until you get what you came for.

Oh, my friend, this sewage pit runs deeper than anyone could ever imagine. How do I know? Because I was forced to swim in this shit and stomach the stench for years and I’ve kept quiet for a decade but not anymore…the gloves are coming off and by the grace of God, righteousness will prevail and the actions of sick and broken perpetrators will cease, at least in environs of this religious community.

I am so sorry to hear that you were subjected to such deep spiritual abuse that resulted in your divorce. I hope that he repents of this as well.

In my former conservative NeoCalvinistic church, I found a similar hateful attitudes toward those of other Christian denominations that you describe. The problem I had with that is that I have family members, friends and neighbors in those denominations (including Eastern Orthodox Christianity) and there is nothing wrong with it.

When an older woman at my (former) church was in my home she took offense at an Italian cross I had hanging in my living room. I have artwork from countries around the world. I asked my church’s pastor, who had known her for years, for his advice on how I should respond to her. He said that he *would be offended too* by the cross in my home and that I should get rid of it. So I did, and regretted it. It was my birthday gift, I’d had it for years, and it costs hundreds of dollars.

The Pharisees in those churches are so incredibly judgmental and unloving, a bunch of legalists.

Gary, it’s hard to find something positive to say about this situation, but I am grateful about one thing: that truth is finally being exposed. I’m thankful that Peter owned up at least partially to his responsibility, for Natalie’s sake. I hope the progress continues as eyes are opened to truth.

One of the aspects of spiritual abuse that so many don’t understand is the destruction it does to families and marriages. To think that a pastor could be instrumental in tearing a marriage apart is unthinkable, but it happens more often than people realize. I’m so, so sorry.

You get bent out of shape when Peter calls you a heretic but you do the same thing to protestants and catholics. What gives?

“The sacramental mysteries can only be known within the Orthodox Church. Modern day Romans and Protestants are descendants of those believers that fell away from the Church so long ago having rejected the true Christ, embracing a Christ of their own making. ”

” All of Western Europe is in heresy having been cast out of the Church in 1054. Pride and thievery were bred and birthed by Satan who in turn led the entire Western Orthodox Church into heresy.”

“The arrogance and thievery of Western Christians heretics continues to this day both in Europe and in America.”

“America is a classic example of how the practices of Western Christian heretics are manifest. Heretics breed heretics and they are known by their works which are done in the name of Jesus Christ ……”

“Western Christian heretics…….”

“There Is Nothing New Under The Sun – Protestantism Is An Ancient Heresy ”

“The doctrine which divides Protestantism also unites Protestants is the same ancient heresy. This heresy was held by the Acephalites and was called the Severian heresy. This heresy is exactly what Protestant sects practice to this day. Instead of returning to the one, true Church, they follow the Severians who were condemned as heretics in the 4th century.”

Seems to me that if you don’t like being called a heretic maybe you should extend the same courtesy to others that don’t follow your particular brand of religion.

Wow, Mr Greenfield. That sounds horrible. I looked into Eastern Orthodoxy for five years. I couldn’t make the “jump,” but I can certainly understand why people would. Thank you for your witness in this situation.

Had it not been for the protection offered me within the Eastern Orthodox Church, I would have been crushed by the evil forces that work through men such as Doug Wilson. Evil always hides behind a cloak of righteousness and truth, otherwise evil could never gain a foothold. Without deception, evil can’t do what it loves to do which is to abuse, hurt and injure. Wherever there is confusion, evil is at work. Those evil forces are hiding within and working through the religious institutions of the West that have rejected the ancient teachings of the early church.

Dear Gary, I am sorry for the pain that you had to endure in the CREC and the repercussions of it that you are going through now. I, too, am an Orthodox Christian so I understand the comfort that can be found therein. May Christ our God uphold in this season of your life.

Gary, so sorry to read all of this. Is your now-estranged (ex)wife still attending (in good standing with?) Wilson’s church? This whole saga is unbelievable. Glad the details are finally coming out. Grace and peace to you.

When dealing in belief there is always a danger of excess; doesn’t matter whether you call it old religion or new, unorthodox or Eastern Orth. When believers get at it they outdo non-believers in schisms and deviseiveness. It is sad that cultish belief can undo families but so can booze and many many other excesses…. what’s your pleasure?
I very much respect those who stand up to religion, especially in order to support innocence, children. Until we learn that we need not control and preach-at and sing our kids into our ways, whatever they are, we will have the kind of mess that Wilson wholly supports and creates in his ministry. Children need love and attachment. They thrive in being with those who gave them life and who support them in their own choices. They are not born bad, never the vipers that cultic religion likes to brand them. I wish Natalie Greenfield and her entire broken family peace and support particularly real support from real people.
And Brianmclain, I want to ask you to stop haranguing your children daily and just try being with them as they are, not as you are…. I gagged at your letter blaming and shaming Greenfield and I thought of your children living with you.