"Hold X to pay respects? What does that mean? That's crazy! Is there a button for, 'I'm here because I thought I might meet somebody?'"

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Warning: minor Advanced Warfare campaign spoilers.

Conan O'Brien's latest "Clueless Gamer" segment is about Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare, and it is certainly... something. Unsurprisingly, Conan is pretty taken aback by "Hold X to pay respects" and, er, Kevin Spacey's eyebrows. "They hired one of the greatest actors in the world, and then they give him the eyes of a carp that's been in the refrigerator for three days," he says of in-game Spacey's weaker moments.

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Same as us! You know, we really should just hire Conan to work at Kotaku one of these days.

Also, fun fact: Conan is very bad at crossing the street.

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"This is the hardest thing I've done in my life," he said after attempt 36. He finally made it on attempt 59.

If you ever find him attempting to cross the street in a warzone full of jetpack cyborgs, give him a hand, will ya?