Make more days ‘with’

Last week’s “A Day Without a Woman” truly bothered me, as did last month’s “A Day Without Immigrants,” but I could not place why.

As I pondered my new role as “The Grinch Who Stole ‘A Day Without,’” a realization was knocked loose: I take issue with one word: “without.”

For so many of our boardrooms and operating rooms, battalions and bylines, every day is a day without women. And immigrants. And people of color. And so many other groups who do not see their views or needs adequately represented anywhere.

More marches or days “without” already underrepresented people will not change anything. It is time to stop living without; let’s try a day with.

As a white suburban mom, I have too often retreated into my own opinions, my own experiences. I have heard from social media, colleagues and even strangers that I don’t understand the struggles of people who don’t look like me, and there’s nothing I can do to change that.

While the internet allows us to shut out opinions contradictory to our own, I couldn’t accept the fate of being trapped in my own perspective. So I shut up for a while and listened. I sought out authors and thinkers with experiences different from mine, like Zadie Smith, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, and Luvvie Ajayi.

Politically Re-Active and the Moth Radio Hour became my go-to podcasts, with each episode offering new takes. I carried $2 every other week to buy the latest Street Sense, at least half of which is written by homeless or formerly homeless people. My browser lagged under the weight of stories of surviving war and oppression from the Middle East to Middle America.

I acknowledged that I have already lived most of my life without a diverse set of voices, and I did not want to live that way anymore. My role is simply to listen, acknowledge and be aware of others, to remember and consider them when I make choices that will affect traditionally dismissed groups, to teach my daughter to do the same.

As a working woman, I call on board chairmen and executives: Dedicate more resources to recruitment and retention of diverse talent. Re-evaluate policies that affect women and families. Spend a day with your workers and listen to their stories. Invest more in their educational and social potential. It will pay you dividends.

As a subscriber, I call on our media: Responsibly diversify.

As a mother, I call on our schools: Reject any attempts to standardize a distilled narrative of history. Build curricula to allow diverse stories.

As a Christian, I call on our churches: Dispense with the politicization of the Gospel and remember that our duty to love one another is not bound by party, skin color, nor even lifestyle choices.

As a voter and a veteran, I call on elected officials: Seek dissenting opinions. It will make you a better representative “of the people.”

Most of all, I call on us all as citizens, as Americans, as humans: Let us recognize that when we exclude each other and ourselves, whether consciously or unconsciously, then we already live too many days “without.” Now is the time to live with.

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