text: Tick tock tick tock nnThe sound of the countdown till the inevitable closure of this pretentious shithole Do not get me wrong I am not going to write a review lambasting the evils of a madeinChina tshirt For a girl as into gross consumerism as I one would think Barneys would represent the ultimate altar at which to worshipnnThat said I still work hard to earn every damn penny and still expect a certain level of service at this price point I will tell you that the customer service at my ghetto Target is heads and shoulders superior to that of Barneys I have walked in with photos of an item knowing they carry the designer and asked them to find it for me They take my number and email and smile and nod but then crickets I attempt to return a defective handbag GASP past the sacred day window in which returns are accepted Much hemming and hawing and excuses and the bag is surrendered mysteriously sans refund with promises of a call from the manager Again crickets I have to stalk the handbag department to see how the Queen Manager has deigned to handle my quandary for those dying to know they sent the bag back to the manufacturer for repair without telling me I walk through the shoe department clearly lingering over a certain item and crickets I can see a sullen young man with waxed eyebrows giving me the side eye from the back room but crickets Is it me It is not Foot Locker for fucks sake I am not going to wave the shoe at him from across the room and holler out my size Sorry I am not sure why the staff goes MIA I am certain that gossiping and doing each others makeup does not take up a disproportionate chunk of their workday I am not read will not make you bring out every shoe for me to try on for fun and I am carrying the same bag you are selling feet away read have AMEXwill shop so I am not really sure what else I need to do to get some damn helpnnAdditionally against my better judgement I also sent my poor SO here to have all his suits and grownup stuff altered when he lost weight and decided he wanted to pretend he was a J Crew model I figured the average tailor was not going to be on the cutting edge heh of this seasons suit cut but surely ofthemoment Barneys tailor would Sadly the seamstress while perfectly friendly and competent had just as many challenges with English and as little knowledge of trends as the hemwhileyouwait place on the corner The only difference was that the changing room was fancier she still needed an excess amount of direction when we came to her hoping she would have the expertise to run the show nnSorry Barneys I realize you carry a lot of niche labels and items not otherwise available in retail locations in this state In the golden age of the Interwebs though your benefit of exclusivity is gone Now who wants to place bets on what store will fill their empty space