text: The most important thing to remember is that we would come to Archies specifically for wings Fifteen cent chicken wings Monday to Thursday I have not really been looking all that hard for cheap wings but this sounded like a deal And I did not have to know what day it was and still I would have a better than shot at fifteen cent wings I do not know this Archie guy but he did not really twist my arm to get me in the doornnAs it turns out you need to buy a drink to be eligible for the fifteen cent wings I would have preferred to consume my wings with waterI am something of a wing puristbut I am not above drinking an adult beverage in order to take advantage of an discount on tiny pieces of spicy fried exceptionally messy chicken And fortunately Archies is a bar nnAt first I tried to order Johnny Walker Black rocks But our waitress did not know if they carried that brand of liquor they did not so I requested a dry slightly dirty Tanqueray martini and a glass of water A number of minutes later I caught her eye across the room and she assured me my drink was on its way having been delayed slightly by something to do with someone forgetting about it Several more minutes passed and she approached me sheepishly Emptyhanded As it turns out besides lacking Johnny Walker Archies lacks vermouth Fighting off my confusion I took a few minutes to browse the bar by myself wanting to avoid the embarrassment of ordering a third obscure and impossible to obtain beverage I finally ended up with a glass of Speyburn The glass of Speyburn was almost entirely identical to a glass of scotch except that half of it seemed to be a glass of water Which I suppose was what I had really wanted the entire timennSoon after this drama there were wings They were fried and spicy and messy and cost fifteen cents apiece so the evening turned out almost exactly as I would hoped But when I say that it is important for you to remember that we had come to Archies specifically for wings nnThis MIGHT be a lie I do not know what would make someone a wing purist but I do know that I will eat just about any wings you put in front of me If that makes me a purist then I am glad to have written it And if it makes me the opposite of a purist well I am not losing any sleep