text: Before you read this review I strongly recommend that you visit the hotel website at httpwwwmondrianscottsdalecom Looks pretty cool does not it Now forget everything you just saw and keep reading nnWhen I booked this hotel on Priceline for my annual spring training trip I was extremely excited It looked as though for a night tax I was going to stay at a star hotel similar to one of the W Hotels In reality what I got was a remodeled Holiday Inn Express more pretentious than a house of a young rapper whose album just went double platinum and more tasteless than well a house of a young rapper whose album just went double platinum As my friend eloquently put it pig with lipsticknnWe arrived at the hotel around pm and valets dressed in white linen shirts and pants approached us White is the theme here EVERYTHING is white We walked up the stairs into the lobby which looked like well the place where alabaster goes to die Ambient lighting revealed alabaster chairs alabaster clouds hanging from the ceiling alabaster sheep covered with fake wool and alabaster lamps adorned with womens derrieres holding up the base WOWnnWe walked through the white sheer curtains into the front desk area The two male clerks at the desk were sporting the Euro trash look with great panache Too much product in their hair and too much chest hair peeking through the unbuttoned shirt collars While their voices said Welcome to Mondrian the inflection in their voices said You have no idea how lucky you are that I am talking to you I was being helped by a woman presumably a manager who looked like Tawny Kitaen from Whitesnake Here I go again on my own Did not she beat up her husband pitcher Chuck Finley with a stiletto heeled shoe Sorry there is nothing funny about domestic violencennThroughout the whole checkin process no one bothered to ask us about our room preferences number of beds or any other questions you expect to be asked at a decent hotel They were more concerned about getting us out of there while informing us that parking cost a nightnnWe drove around the corner to our building The hotel is shaped like a giant YOU with a long narrow pool in the courtyard in the middle Each building is three stories high keeping up with a Holiday Inn Express tradition The only difference was it was painted whitennWe got to our room where everything was well WHITE with navy blue accents Cottage cheese ceiling reminded guests of the buildings star past but cottage cheese walls were masterfully covered by pleated sheer curtains to remind guests of the hotels star aspirations A giant flat screen TV looked almost too modern but it was still my favorite item in the room Clear plastic Kartell chair and nightstand went well with the decor Big queen size beds were very comfortable The closet door swung open when one least expected it partially blocking the entrance Fire safety FAIL nnThe bathroom looked fine but not luxurious The sliding door was a space saver but did not have a lock The accent navy blue wall housed hooks a simple yet impractical organizer system We were given one bar of soap Even star hotels give you two one for your face and one for your body We asked housekeeping for more and they brought us more bars right away We did not see new soap for the rest of our stay On the bright side however the soap was imported from Greece Is Athens the soap capital of the world What is wrong with Ivory soap Not once did housekeeping manage to get us the right number of towels It was strange to have to request more on a daily basis nnEverything in this hotel was a la carte I am not complaining about the ultraexpensive minibar which by the way included a cap and a pair of flip flops with the Mondrian logo I can understand why a can of soda in the minibar is I can also accept that a breakfast burrito by the pool a very nice pool might I add costs you gratuity service charge However a hotel music compilation CD for a bottle of Voss for or a bottle of starch for all your ironing needs for Who charges for a crappy hotel CD or starch A hotel should be cheap or pretentious but not bothnnThe hotel is located within walking distance from Scottsdale Stadium and Old Town Scottsdale so I would probably stay here again if the price were right However I will definitely lower my expectations for next time and I strongly recommend you do the same