text: ZANDERS FILLS THAT GAPING GAP IN MADISONnby blunt ubb Sat Jan pm nnYou know how Madison has no sports barsnWell finally we re getting onenZandersnRight where the old State Bar and Grill wasnSports bars for the majority of you I am sure have never heard of the concept consist of a placeto drink and watch sports on tvnUnusualnMagicalnI love lots of TVs just tune them to Spongebob or Americas Funniest videos or scrambled porn with the sound turned downnJust no more sportsnThe funny thing was that a post on City Dictionary quips with NO sarcasm at all that downtown Madison is in sore need of a sports barnLike more banks and coffee shopsnnThe kidnapping and confinement of innocent Americans and forced watching of televised team competition has got to stop nIts an insult to presume drunks only want to watch guys manhandle ballsnAnd is not sportsbar a misnomer How many cutnbuff drunks are in bars at in the afternoon The stuff athletes pound and the manner in which they spin are completely different than the unprofessional lay couch potatonIf it is a real sports bar we want why not put up a rock climbing wall or hang a few ropes How about a shooting range Perhaps the bar fights and murders over stupid shit could be defused or rechannelled with a run on the treadmill or duel with giant Qtips nCome on There is a lot more crap on TV to watch while getting drunk than we have been led to believe I would love sit back and quaff while a quiche is created on the Food Channel nA nice underwater show is a learning experience and a physical challenge on a full bladder Even Blues Clues or Mr Rogers or Boobah would be better than sports Why Because at least we learnnnWe should be able to NOT look up slackjawed during dinner transfixed and drooling like a dog than maybe our attention is acting like a spoiled brat and needs to be disciplined and focusednBut I do not the TVsI mind that every goddam single one of them has to be showing grown men playing sportsnCant we have one tuned to something more haute cultured nLike SpongebobnnLets CRUSH this mindless love affair with sportsnANNIHILATE the sports barbariansnnHuh AhnI have just been informed that despite all the TVs tuned to pointless physical competitions Zanders is NOT a sports barnIt is a sports loungenOhnIs that word supposed to attract the gaysnThey do have little jars of exotic nuts on the bar And a candlenTurkey patties with fried onions and blackberry bourbon saucenWalnut TilapianSalmon Pattie with bacon egg dill saucenCurds and crabcakesnBlacknTan battered onion ringsnIm just disappointed that after working tripletime for three months and hocking everything I own just to get enough cash to go and try their dollar Kobe beef hamburgerIt is off the menunSports bar fumblenI am also confounded by their listing of ZSteaknWhy not lose the S and just call it ZteaknnBiggest change from State Bar are the bathrooms they worknDoors on stalls and towels in racks is a pleasant upgradenLovely eyeballshaped urinals coax the piss and oakcured vinegar right out of you