text: IKEA is what happens when you take Walmart remove the customer service and then blend in needless complexity and a treasure hunt nThe fact that they herd the sheep through their maze like its a museum to the future of bad euro dorm rooms nAnd seriously people are posting about their Swedish meatballsnnI always loved the Muppets growing up but now find myself wanting to punch the Swedish chef is his stupid face nnThe nice thing is at least the check out lines are long nnIf you want to ask them to perform their Easter parts hunt for you it is Believe me this is cheap as the people who work there are as annoyed as the rest of us nnI saw a nice little family walk off down the aisle to get all the parts to their cheap hobby shop furniture and could only pray for them not needing counseling when their journey comes to an end nnUpon leaving the store I had a renewed faith that we live in the greatest country in the world A country where stores take care of you and do not have you sign all their responsibility and culpability for errors away nStores where if you want one thing they do not force you through the corn maze of zombies walking aimlessly around nnIs this our socialized utopian future I wonder to myself Are the preagreed uniforms that all alien cultures wear in scifi movies coming to us Will we be herded through stores to revel in their wares wearing our Apple like garb set by Steve JobsnnI say no to all this Lots of stores sell build it yourself furniture without the passive aggressive way of saving the public money nnIf you doubt my words simply go to Ikea and buy something I highly suggest either cocktails or a good benzodiazepine or even better a mix of both