text: I wrote a review of The Stratosphere tower where I got married but I never wrote about the weeks of heaven hotel experience I had with Chong If it was not obvious already Chong is not only my best friend for life but she is my secret lesbian lover A secret so well kept even she does not know I refer to her as my secret lesbian lovernnWe planned a trip to Vegas together as a very very VERY late combined birthday New Years and bachelorette party Since both of us had bank accounts with numbers that would convince any patron we made up the cast of the sitcom broke girls we chose to stay at the Stratosphere hotel for a nightnnFirst of all a night my ass The prices were in constant flux and it ranged from to explained as convention rates Like the rest of mankind I for one hate places that wrongfully advertise with fine print left for interpretation so I was no fucking happy pappi nnIt would have been one thing if the following events did not transpire But seeing as I am writing about them they did It would have been another thing if the following events involved Chong and I hooking up but seeing as I am not writing about them there is no saving gracennWe pay for our first night and my heart sank to my toes and out the horny layer yes thats a real layer of my epidermis when she uttered the dreadful words Can we get a room with beds But hey the fact that getting a big room with beds for a low price did not sound so bad so I had but one thing irrelevant to the hotel experience to complain about nnWe got a smoking room Not just for smoking cigarettes but potato tomato hello ITS CHEECH AND CHONG in Vegas no fucking brainer what we were going to do Everyone IN LIFE clearly had the same idea because we were only in the hallway and the whole floor smelled like pot Awesome nnThere is no ventilation The windows are sealed shut and the rooms are dusty even though I am sure house keeping does a thorough job cleaning at least I expect them to but then again maybe they are just kind enough to replace the sheets and do a quick rundown with an old hoover I became very ill and actually ruined our whole vacation This did not stop us from doing hawaiian smoke outs nnAt one point Chong was too lazy to leave and I was too sick to leave also so we ordered room service almost every night and watched Law and Order It was heaven for me The food is surprisingly good and affordable and convenient but it is the same stuff as the restaurants in the casino of Stratosphere so that says something but je ne sais quois nnDeciding our room was bad luck we asked to switch rooms We go downstairs get new key cards and walk in There are ruffled sheets and someone elses porn subscription playing on the tv still Part of me wanted to stay in hopes she would get turned on and jump on me but she did the opposite and screamed ew about a million times ran out to the elevators screaming come on cheech we are not staying in a room that might have someone elses JiZz on the bed nn ok I muttered and followed her to ANOTHER LONG trip to the lobby Told them what happened and actually got a brand new amazing room that was part of the newly constructed wingnnSo all in all That newly constructed wing is the only thing keeping this four star review afloat Oh that and the room service OH and alsomy memories with Chong sigh