text: starsnnSo Hamburglar thought to himself here I am again at the Cosmopolitan With it is dripping chandeliers and swanky sexy clientele Hamburglar ascended the escalators with his freshly pressed jailbird shirt Hamburglar came here after Jersey Boys at the Palazzo on quite a thrilling taxi ride he picked up from the Venetian nnHamburglars taxi driver fit the description of a crack addict Hamburglar squinted to see the name on his dashboard badge and it read Trey Treys complexion was riddled with red sores that he recognized were the same ones Grimace would get when he went on his Ramadan fast of only Red Hots Hamburglar also observed that Trey wore an ill fitted wig that barely managed to balance on his itchy looking scalp and that Trey talked to himself yelled at traffic and had the most interesting tics of head and shoulder gyrations no not just dandruff Hamburglar nervously sat back and closed his eyes mentally preparing himself for some sort of collision he knew was destined to happen nnSurprisingly Trey knew all the back roads the hotel access lanes and the passageways that Hamburglar had no idea existed The cab zoomed through deserted alleys and underground parking structures emerging blocks in advance of most taxis in deadlock traffic on the Strip Trey this redhotpockedcrackheaded taxi driver was a chauffeur godsend that delivered Hamburglar to his destination unscathed and in record time despite a bent lower bun and a few missing sesame seeds nnAs always the Cosmopolitan was ufcber crowded and Hamburglar was ufcber hungry The thought of heading to the Pizzeria for another glorious piece of cheese bliss crossed Hamburglars mind however it was his last night with Ms Vegas and he felt like celebrating Tons of restaurants here all offering a variety of experiences Not into crowds and holla scenes Hamburglar chose this semi casual piece of moody ambiance with a bar that called his name no literally the talking bars name was Lovey and used to hang out with Hamburglar during their days trying out for the pilot of Peewees Playhouse Hamburglar loves bar seating especially when dinning alone and apart from his McDonaldland counterparts especially greedy Grimace who always rained on his parade Instead he cozied up to his long time friend Lovey and reminisced all of times passingnnThe friendly bartender offered to sample any of the wines by glass Hamburglar was pondering After tasting them all Hamburglar decided on a plump predominantly Zinfandel blend or Orin Swifts The Prisoner a role he knew all too well spending time in McJail Unfortunately the going rate was practically of the bottles retail price I better love it Hamburglar thought Fortunately the bartender comped him a glass midway through dinner that made things easier to swallow literally as an irregularly sized pomme frites almost choked him to death great timing that bartender nService stars Life saving wine Priceless nnThe late night menu had a nice selection of main dishes seafood Charcuterie meats and cheese plates The Roasted Beef Bone Marrow Oxtail Jam Toast with parsley fleur de sel looked intriguing But Hamburglar was hankering for a hamburger of course and ordered the Comme uca Burger of certified angus beef cheddar dressing and pomme frites Excellent stars He normally would sneak the entire dish into his cape then dash without paying but he knew he was someplace upscale and had to keep it legit for he was already on Ronalds sht list for booking this trip to Vegas without getting his approval Robble robblennA very pleasant end to Hamburglars Sunday evening and last night on the Strip of dreams lost wagesnnTallynService starsnComme uca Burger starsn starsnnYelp