text: Rex needs to put a disclaimer on this reviewI am fresh out of forced temporary housingwhich explains why Rex has not written in a while The circumstances are really quite simple Rex believes that what a man does in someone elses dumpster is his own business Picture thisRex goes to his favorite single wide dumpster to the uninformed and findsand you will not believe thistrash in it Philistines So Rex removed it He sits down with a can of happy juice ammonia gasoline leaded two moth balls three mentos a tic tac and toe nail clippings that have been buried in the desert for weeks and a year old copy of Giant White Buttslike most men do on a ThursdayTuesdaysome night Whatever Well suddenly after half a bottle of happy juice rex saw blue men They yelled They grabbed at Rex Nextwhat happensis not totally clearbut ALLEDGEDLYa naked Rex a beautiful sightholding a top hat and stapler jumped out past the blue men and ran down the street straight into a wall The wall stopped Rexs run Rex awoke to a single padded room against his will nnThe first thing Rex needs outside of lock up is food After a ride from kids out on a joy ride Rex found himself in front of Smashburger This was not the first time Rex has saunteredsashayedglided into Smashburger Rex will tell you the first time he went the second time and the third time he was underwhelmed Decent food expensive food not Rexs idea of a valuennToday was Rexs fourth time Was it different Did he like it Was he allowed to leave after screaming This is the kind of place that the Nazis would have opened if they won the war The answer to all of these isno Not at allnnWhere to beginwherever to begin The first thing Rex tried was the namesake of his town The Sin City Burger A good burger and honestly the best burger on their menuwhen done right They put a fried egg on top and if the fried egg is cooked too hard and the yolk does not come outthe burger is not the same Two burgers Two different cooked eggs The yolk makes a bit of a sauce and much needed sauce The Spicy Baja is just not spicy Sorry Rex understands the underdeveloped palate and my favorite HO Third Eye Sally has half a tongue and is not medically allowed to eat spicy food because of medical conditionsdid not find it spicy The Mushroom Swiss burger has mayo on it when a better sauce would really make the burger Chicken sandwich you ask They have them They are hit and miss The Buffalo missbecause the sauce is not good The BBQ ranch missbecause BBQ is not good The Avocado Club hit nnWhat about the fries The hallmark of any good burger jointwellhit and miss again Just like when Rex is asked to hit her bellybut Rex misses on purpose Two times Rex went he got the regular fries Two times the Smashfries The Smashfries the first time were great The second time the rosemary and garlic seemed liked it was burned It has a bitter taste The regular fries were just that regular Third Eye let me have some of her Chili Cheese Fries and they are pretty good The best of the bunchnnThe bottom line is that this not a great burger place because the quality control is not good This is the type of food that needs to be done right Sadly it is not Somehow in the times Rex has eaten at In And Out he has never had a bad meal One out of times did Rex have a good meal at Smashburger Oh and if you complainno one cares Just like when you complain to Rex Only difference is you complain to a person at Smashburgeryou complain to the memories of Rex Rex never sees your tearsonly your sister naked