text: So the Eat N Park company decided to renovate the Squirrel Hill shop They spend hundreds of thousands of dollars to make the place look hip and trendy with high tables and chairs garage door windows to allow for opening and closing during the nicer seasons to open air the place They spent money on new art that shows the neighborhood The gave the facade a facelift with stone and paint and cut the place in half to create another bistroid on what used to be the left side of the seating area nnEverything is new New counters and display cases new carpeting regular chairs and tables and upholstered booths New lighting fixtures There is even a TV for well yet MORE sports coverage in da burghnnOn the wall between the restrooms is a huge banner boasting of how much money they have given to local charities annually If I recall correctly the amount was around MillionnnSo they have money to spend on new restaurants like Porch an overstated atmospheric case of overpriced mediocrity and whatever this new bistroid is that is next to the old but new Eat N Park They have money to renovate the Eat N Park into an apparent trendy high end diner They have enough money to donate Million to charitynnBut dear Eat N Parkwhat about the FOODnnGenerally the only reason my friend and I go to Eat N Park is to grab the breakfast buffet before an afternoon of movies Which we did this morning and what did we findnnA big fancy renovation with the same old crappy foodnnScrambled eggs out of a carton that would make a World War II military man feel right at home Rubbery pancakes The same outofacan cheese sauce for whatever you wanted to ladle it over The same flavorless sausage gravy for dried out biscuits Sausage greasy enough to lube your Buick And they cannot even be bothered with the little potato pancakes that used to actually be kind of yummy One the first trip to the buffet they had maybe six potatopancakelike chunks left in the pan and when we came back for more they would switched to regular hash browns patties that had been cut into squares Same old dry minimuffins Same old canned fruit Even the sauteed mushrooms were nearly raw and dry barely cooked at all let alone sauteednnI found humor in the fact that they now try to sell their own bags of coffee along with the smiley cookies in the dessert counter when the coffee that comes to the table is pretty much brown water that my friend and I refer to as teafeennEat N Park is correct me if I am wrong SUPPOSED to be a restaurant And in my opinion a restaurant should be know for itswellFOODnnNow I have learned especially as decades passed and corners were cut for profits which they are apparently making considering the new bistroids the renovations and the charity work NOT to expect much in the way of food from an Eat N Park They did not nickname it Eat N Puke for nothing nnHowever like most corporate entities in our country todayif you are going to show off and brag about your profits it had BETTER be reflected in your product nnYou may have given the visuals a stunning makeover And yeah it is pretty However in the rejuvenation of your brand and your product it is another epic FAILnnBecause in the end literally it is the same garbage you have been passing off as food for the last twenty years The only thing the facelift has inspired is perhaps the change of the apt nicknamefrom Eat N Puketo maybe Masticate N RegurgitatennSerioulsy It is too expensive to crack actual eggs mix in some milk and whip them to make scrambled eggs It is too expensive to throw potatoes in a food processor with some eggs flour and seasonings to make your own potato pancakesnnBut we can afford a real stone facade and Million to charitynnHmmmmmmm