text: You spent the afternoon day drinking when you should have stayed home and done your laundry Now you are going to pay the pricennMastros offers a unique dining experience rivaled by few restaurants with its over the top food ambiance and service nIn fact I doubt few can take exception with any aspect of this fine establishment nIts simply that goodnnIf what you are seeking is a place where you can dress to the nines be seen by Scottsdales elite frittering the night away in elegant surroundings Mastros is the place for younA steak is around fifty bucks a potato eleven but in its defense it is a onepound spud that will feed the entire table Other notables were the lobster bisque chopped salad grilled buttered brussels sprouts and scalloped potatoes nnSteaks are normal sized and easy to wolf The ahi is thinly sliced and layered presented in the size and shape of the entire fish In a word huge This entree will feed two adults handily nnAs mentioned all of us were burnt crispy from an afternoon of prodigious daydrinking making cocktails wine and aperitifs forbiddennThe portions of starters were big enough to feed the Cardinals front line making dessert out of the question toonIn fact now that I think about it I have no idea why we came here Everyone was tired grumpy and ready for bed before the server even introduced herselfnAnd since I did not stay home to do my laundry like I should have I found myself wearing an old pair of illfitting jeans tight would be an understatement that squeezed my guts so badly I could have leveled the entire scene with a lone weaponsgrade fart sortie nnFour hundred bucks for an elegant evening of food I was not in the mood for people watching I could have done without and a drive home that would make Jack Kerouacs journey seem like a jaunt out to the mailbox this as I squeezed back a stomach full of angry heaters the entire ride nnIll be back but next time it will not be because it was the only place we could locate with early enough reservations to insure none of us passed out in our salads