text: I do not really eat red meat outside of the family farm so is it really fair to critique a burger joint when I did not try a burger Screw you here is my review anyways nnBf was craving a big burger and he figures I am from the islands might as well take me back What islands this joint mimics I am not sure But I do not think its the Hawaiian islands Maybe the Florida Keys The place is decorated like a Jimmy Buffet song It pretty gross nnThe service was friendly enough Our waitress was attentive and polite They are located right next to Palo Verde High School so at around p a bunch or underaged waitstaff waltzes in Yes young waitress snatch nnBf normally tries the wings where ever he goes Its his barometer of overall quality My barometer would be the fries More on that later The wings were for a basket I said the basket better be pretty big and made of gold for and change The wings were standard buffalo wings with that buttery vinegary orange glaze served with ranch and carrot and celery sticks On his second wing he bit into a cool spot Quality control much nnThe menu items are hokey islandish names like the Hula burger the Kilauea burger the Hawaiian The Maui burger comes with quacamole Um is Mexico an island now nnThey also have a Kaanapali sic Should be Kaanapali with okina Kobb a cobb salad There was absolutely nothing Hawaiian about it nnI ordered a Hula burger on wheat like a mushroom swiss extra charge for avocado My favorite thing about this place is that they will substitute any beef patty with a veggie patty free of charge They also sub chicken breast burgers for nnBf ordered a Kilauea burger He wanted his burger rare but our waitress told us they do not go less than medium Hold the phone Why is this It takes less effort to cook a burger rare Because you cook it less So why in Zeus name cannot they cook it less We did not make a big deal beyond the Zeus speech and he just got it medium nnWhen I looked at his burger I could not tell the difference between the wheat bread and the thoroughlycooked beef Brown brown brown nnMy burger was good But if you screw up a veggie burger you need to kill yourself My burger smelled so buttery The butter from my sauteed mushrooms soaked into the top bun The whole thing was mushy from the moisture of the mushrooms the mayo and veggie patty and it was wonderful There is a part of me that enjoys mushy burgers I ended up having to eat it with a knife and fork in the end Its like the middle of the cinnamon bun all messy but that is where the biggest concentration of flavor is Oh yeah and I eat my burgers in concentric circles nnThe fries A travesty to fried foods They were like greenish They were thicker than shoestring and flavorless and dry But they are not cooked in lard and have no trans fats Honestly if I am eating fries they better be cooked in lard and taste like pig guts and I do not care about the trans fats They are french fries goddamnit Not jicama nnTheres a little table tent advertising about how their wonderful fries now come with the burgers Because they cannot sell them any more They have to give them away nnThere were only two desserts each But we did not bother because they looked super boring One was a brownie with toppings The other was fudge ice cream with toppings Meh nnThe total before tip GrnnOh And Fine should be stricken from this establishments name nn off the strip noncasino