text: I love cafeteriastyle food Always have always will I cried when they shut down the good oldfashioned cafeteriastyle eatery at my college and opened a gourmet food emporium in its placennBecause I will take a Salisbury steak over a tbone any day I figured the Round Table buffet would be just what the doctor ordered to satisfy my gamblingweary belly My low standards were unflappable or so I thoughtnnSWEET CHRIST WAS I WRONGnnThis was and forever will be the single worst meal of my entire life I am just dumbfounded How on earth is it possible to have different foods available with not a single one being even remotely edible It is almost like they TRIED to make it horrible ReallynnBeyond tasting bad I got the distinct feeling that everything I put in my mouth was diseased The shrimp if they could be called that looked less like they had been caught fresh and more like they had died of AIDS I have never seen shrimp that oddly thin before Really it looked like they had survived some sort of shrimp holocaust Same with the clams The meat from the carving station was so tough I could not cut it with my knife but the effort was rewarded by a taste that suggested the flesh was infected with the prions that because KrutchfieldJacobs disease The chickens that gave their lives for this dinner service likely came from one of those Chinese industrial farms that are responsible for influenza pandemicsnnAnd I could make better lomein despite the fact that I have no clue where to even begin because I would not cook it in used engine grease That is what it tasted likennThe only reason I left this meal with a full stomach was because I had to try everything in a desperate attempt to find something I could eat By the time I had failed in this task I had literally taken one bite of every offering they had and found myself full with a bizarre stew of various meats and cheeses and sauces and doughs and the following types of organisms known to because severe food poisoning Clostridium botulinum Ciguatera Yersinia Shigella Listeria monocytogenes E Coli EC Bacillus cereus Vibrio parahaemolyticus Clostridium perfringens Staphlococcus aureus Campylobacter jejuni and SalmonellannNow the clientele at the Round Table Buffet was another source of pleasure Never have I seen so many people in the same room eating food while a lit cigarette dangled from their mouth But this was also the only restaurant where such a practice would actually improve the taste of the food or at least mask the odor of decay Beyond them I was also treated to a fair share of trailertrash in wedding dresses bragging about how much they drank at Bennigans the night before and folks who looked like they were missing to chromosomes though I am happy to report that the chromosome that enables one to find a store that still sells fanny packs was certainly still present and active in most of themnnTo wrap upnnFood Disgusting and DiseasednPeople YowsanOverall I want to kill myselfnnI just cannot quite feel human again until I am sure that this meal is completely and forever passed through my GI tract