text: It never ceases to amaze me what people get used to Over the years I have clung to people places and things without even thinking much about it When I was a child I had my favorite used needle My homeless friend Sir Albert Bottomtop used to sit with me for hours on a park bench telling me fantastic stories He told me about the time he stabbed Peter Otoole in the leg after a drinking binge How he once walked in on Helen Mirren a donkey and ping pong balls How once he tackled Winston Churchill to the ground and pink bellied him until finally Chamberlin pulled him off and they all laughed I cried when he told me about mentioning in passing how hot Wallis Simpson was Great stories nnOne day I rode my tricycle to our bench and saw himhe was a beautiful shade of blue He was clutching a needle I took it I had that needle until I was arrested in Finland for kicking Paavo Lipponen in between the legs and screaming this is for cooperating with the Stasi I smiled before those rotten fish eaters tackled me and my beloved needle fell smashing against the ground My tears flooded the modern sleek and tiny toilet in my cell IKEA sucksnnAfter that was a blur of soda pop bottle tops used underwear a bra from Estelle Getty the first place trophy from the Uganda Rock Sissors Paper championship and a stuffed gerbil from an actor I cannot legally name Suddenly todayI realized that I am still holding on to things that bring me comfort I realized after I woke up in an abandoned floral nursery and all I could smell was rotting tulips goat feces do not ask and the smell of carne asadaand I felt the word roll off my lipsRobertos nnRobertosI have mixed feelings about RobertosI have had some great meals and some horrible dishes depending on the locationso I am making this review LOCATION SPECIFIC If a duck just fell out of your ceiling with dollar billLOCATION SPECIFICwere the secret words of the day CongratulationsnnI want to start with the best thing on the menuthe Carne Asada Chimmichanga The Chimmichanga is always goodbut one tipask for it to be extra crispy The she will goes from Conan OBrien with a slight tan color to Cindy Crawford on a bikini photo shoot colorgolden brown but not over done Second never get the steak I will always say thisRobertos steak sucks Get the chickenorthe best onethe carne asada Pork Crispy she will Did I say pork Well read it againeven the word is perfectthink about how you can use it in a sentence I ate great pork this weekend OR I gave Emma Stone the pork this weekend Both are beautiful Both make me want to watch the video of that action with my pants down nnTacosare great The Burritos are good if you observe the meat rule and the shrimp is surprisingly good The refried beans are good and the rice sucks The super nachos carne asada are a hangover godsend The chule relleno are hit and miss The taco rolls WITH guacamole are amazing The red sauce is good but not the bestnnRobertos is like having sex with a lb chick with no teethsometimes you get lucky and it is great Sometimes seconds in you wish you were anywhere else Drunk is ALWAYS betternnYou dream of Rex Rex dreams of someone else You dream of Rex more