text: I enjoy the finer things in life The music of Air Supply the films of Michael Bay and fine dining So when I drunkenly stumbled across the Shout House one evening I knew this place was right up my alleynnI got into the restaurant and was told to sit wherever I please That is always a sign of a classy restaurant Freedom to do as you want America style I sat outside because I wanted to make sure that as many people as possible saw me eating there I was not disappointed I cannot even tell you how many people walked by saying you are in for the worst experience of your life I knew they were just jealous nnThe waitress whose name escapes me because of the aforementioned drunkenness took about ten minutes to decide to come to our table I like it when restaurants seem to have a policy of making their patrons wait It just amps up the anticipation I ordered a Blue Moon because I had already had eleven Jack and Cokes before breakfast and figured it was time to slow down I had just come from church for chrissakesnnTaste is not a thing I enjoy so when my Blue Moon arrived watered down fifteen minutes later more waiting D I was particularly excited Mmmm this is totally worth I thought nnI am glad you like it replied my striking blonde waitress nnDid I say that out loud I said back I really cannot stress enough how drunk I wasnnYou did You have also been ranting about Communists since you came in and I think you peed your pantsnnYou have a good eye sirnnI am a womannnWe sat there in silence for four minutesnnFOOD I said I want foodnnThis startled the waitress and she screamednnFeed mennYes fine What will it bennCheeseburger and fries MediumnnDone dealnnForty minutes later my burger showed up Some people like to compare food to heaven others hell Mmmm this is purgatory I exclaimed There is absolutely nothing notable about this food at all And look You forgot the cheese I knew it would bring too much spice to my mealnnHalf an hour later my ginger waitress returned with the check Wow All this for only I saidnnI expect a good tip my waitress who I think had black hair saidnnOh you will get a good tip I replied As soon as she walked away I got up and left because I suddenly remembered I had no moneynnI would DEFINITELY recommend The Shout House to anyone who likes watered down beer burgers that taste like water and waiting aroundnnI just remembered my waitress was a brunette And a man