text: What a monumental shithole TreasuresnnCover charge at in the afternoon was Almost immediately upon entering you are besieged with hustling bitches trying to shake you down for table dances at twenty bucks a pop Should you decline they will step up their marketing skills by offering you a package of five dances for only onehundred dollars nGod they are clever I think that works out to oh wait twenty dollars a dancenAs I said clevernnWhen servers ask for your drink order they will immediately ask how you are going to pay for it suggesting perhaps you may be homeless and without funds for such a wondrous event nThe look on your face suggests you are experiencing a wtf moment nn Cash or credit card she annoyingly barks while you are still in disbeliefnnShaken down at the door now insulted as if you were going to swill down a beer and beeline it for an awaiting cab without paying you begin to reassess if any of this was worth itnnWhether your response is cash or credit they will demand payment up front prior to taking the order I believe this is because and this is only conjecture mind you their default statement is to not trust anyone who graces their shit hole establishment for fear they are part shit hole too It is a projection thing I guessnnDont get suckered into a VIP dance in the back room by one of the many fleeting nubiles promenading about They are there for one reason To take you to the back roomnIf you do get suckered into a back room dance the fee starts at with a twodrink minimum again all paid up front of course And god help you if you happen to get caught up in the moment losing count of your five song deal The sixth song just shot the price up to along with a now twodrink minimum nIts like being penalized for getting caught up in the music and whirling titsnnYoure now kneedeep in the shit having unwittingly purchased the multidance package and guess what This time the dancer does not shake you down for loot she waltzes you over to some guy bigger than all outdoors whose tone of voice is lower than a subwoofer and whose countenance is that of a guard at Buckingham Palacenn Two hundred fifty bucks pal how you going to pay nnI panicnThe eighth song just began playing and I do not know what the rules are The seventh shot the price from twenty to thirtyfive After everything I have seen thus far I am thinking they are going to ask me to pony up a nut when song number eight begins playingnI cut my losses and head for the doornnWhen you have had enough of their bullshit and want to take a cab back to the hotel guess what no cabs nOh there are cabs a cab line and a valet but you are not going anywherenot just yet nThats because you will need to grease the valet this or else wait in a terminally long line of losers who did not have money to line the valets pocketsnnHeres what I didnI saw an offduty cab about yards from their driveway entrance and started toward itnn HE IS OFF DUTY the valet shouts nn FUCK YOU I respond politely nnI offered the taxi driver a fifty to take me anywhere as fast as he could This so I could begin erasing the entire shitty experience out of my memory nHe declines saying he will get in trouble with varay AsiannI make it a Franklinnn Hop in he saysnnEverything about Treasures smells to high heaven including the plethora of Russian whores in cheap perfume and glitter You will know who they are immediatelynThey speak with the same dialect as that ugly bitch from Rocky BullwinklennI would only come back here if I won the lottery