text: F nnShe did not even look at me did not bother asking why I was entering her place of business did not reply when I spoke and in no way acknowledged that I was even in her presence Just handed me a ticket and was done with me If this happened anywhere else I would make an effort to never return tell all my friends how horrible this experience was and write a scathing review about the deplorable customer service of this business Sadly this was my Saturday morning at the DMV a place I think is modeled after the agonizing depths of Hell With the same musac score playingand the same voracious stench in the airand the same spastic children running around only in my version of Hell it is politicians campaigning around me nnSo I was already running late because I had to complete my emissions test early Those nice people there not only told me there were only three DMVs open on Saturdays they gave me a map How precious I was fortunate enough to be near one of the only DMVs open on Saturday Seriously Three DMVs open on Saturday for the entire Valley After receiving such a magnificent welcome I knew this was quickly going to be among the most painful experiences of my life To simplify what was so bad let me make a list of what I feel constitutes acceptable behavior in public nn Bathe The combination of water and soap along with massaging the skin creates an outcome that is most pleasing Be sure to scrub behind your ears and reference this website about another notorious spot httpwwwcraigslistorgaboutbesthtfhtml nn Sit still Yes I know we are all waiting here for about an hour But tapping your foot rocking back and forth in your chair or bouncing your leg are not going to make time go any faster Trust me I was watching the clock If you feel anxious get up and walk around nn Leash your children If they cannot sit quietly leave them in the car It is winter they will be fine It is not cute when your little monster is running up and down the aisles with his honey bun squeezing out between his fingers It is even more not cute when he fakefalls five times in a row right in front of me nn Maintain quiet tones and ensure appropriate conversations when takingmaking calls To the lady behind me I am sorry you are not that experienced in stripping The first thought that popped into my mind was you had a failed audition for Le Girl Thanks to your continued conversation I was able to figure out you were a woodworker nn Acknowledge the humans around you Yeah I get it I am not that big In fact if I turn sideways I disappear But I am still right in front of you so pay attention quit bumping in to me and hitting my leg Unless that was flirting in which case you really need to find someone more your level nnOh the DMV You have a brilliant recipe for dashing dreams and gutting humanity And you manage to do it in a painfully lit room that reeks of a combination of my brothers old gym shoes and my dads dirty underwear There has to be an award for that but I do not have the motivation to research it nnOh and F was my number upon entering I spent and hour and minutes looking at that slip of paper Just so you know that one star is for the website which should probably get stars but anchors like this oft sink the ship n nLe sigh nnOpen TSa am pm information only after pm