text: Have you ever had a caricature drawn of you and a buddy Did you worry that your enormous nose would be distorted to eight times its normal yet already abundant size So while your female friend is cute which you know the lecherous caricature artist will exaggerate you are going to end up looking like a combination of John Cusack and Adrien Brody No Me either nnBut Martini Ranch should be worried If caricatured this little I am everything to everybody barclub would have a pretty embarrassing picture to put on the wall at home when they get back from Disneyland nnBut it is fun Fuck I go and I have a good time Who can argue with that nnThey have to fire that door guy You know the one The one when you have an event scheduled there and he sees eighty people in a new separate line getting off the bus and he was not told about it and will not let you in and will not be bothered to get the manager who happens to know about the event The same guy who would not let me in the other night because he would not check the list so I had to get my friend to come out and have him check the list Same freakin guy What is his deal How seriously does he take this life IT IS MARTINI RANCHnnBut Metalhead is rad The place is packed on a Sunday night Love it nnTheres always a fight in the upstairs club Set your watch by it nnThe patio is a beautiful reprieve like the end of an unknown warm up act at a concert nnDrink prices are reasonable nnA funny thing happened on the way to the Coliseum too I was out with two of my hockey buddies one time at MR and a woman gasped and called me a dbag in earnest after I said something about her friend some other chicks totally alloted their drunken attention to my friend and not me Mind boggling nnSo they lose one star for the door guy and one for allowing women to enter who do not immediately gravitate towards me