text: Hmmmm Think I Would Rather Suck Down Your Colonoscopy BagnnIf you are truly looking for a unique dining experience accompanied with old world business cards and lifeless animals then you will need to try out Texaz Grill all for yourself If you are looking for good food solid service and a nice atmosphere then you probably want to avoid this strip mall hangout at all costs If you love lowquality food poor service and a revolting atmosphere then you need to steer your lifted F right on over to Texaz GrillnnWow from the moment we walked in I knew we were in for trouble I just did not think it could be as bad as it actually was This is one establishment that will leave you wondering whether the city of Phoenix mandates any sort of cleanliness or health standards This place is dirty vile unkempt and this is way before we even met our server or received our foodnnJust PM on a Thursday night but you would have thought this place was closing up shop for the night or permanently which would not be a bad thing Guests are sparse and the few who do remain look like they have chain smoked all of taste buds right out of their mouths The servers give you the impression they are NOT working for tips and really make no attempt at ensuring a pleasant guest experience The inside will remind you of a cross between a real small town BBQ joint and a TGIFridays minus the corporate cleanliness standards The booths are ancient uncomfortable and anything but clean The walls are littered with business cards dead animals used hats and license plate frames You will want to write off all the dirt and disaster on the wall as good old Texas charm but you will quickly realize your appetite fades as each minute passes you bynnSo we arrive at our booth and are quickly greeted by our degenerate server who you would have thought was being paid by number of tables she turned over per night She does not look like she wants to be there and frankly neither do we Our drinks are brought out in a timely fashion and then she did the best she could to get us to order a quickly as possible And we are offnnOrders are put in for a Chicken Fried Steak and the Thursday night BBQ sampler Our server had to check that there were any of the BBQ samplers left which should tell you that this combination was probably made yesterday and has been hanging around all day The salad came quick too quick Within two minutes of ordering I had the misfortune of choking down a brown bland and boring salad Of course nobody goes to a BBQ joint for a salad but I think most prefer green lettuce and more than two dressing choices Not even ten minutes later and our entrees had arrived and we suddenly had enough food to feed an entire homeless shelter but I have my doubts of them even touching this piss poor attempt at Texas BBQnnChicken Fried Steak imagine about oz of beef shankle meat breaded in a pound of breading and smothered in some alien gravy The meat was bland veiny chewy and not even good enough for my neighbors dog You get two of them and each one will be bigger than your head but I am not really sure what you are supposed to do with them because they are anything but ediblennBBQ Sampler I would have rather have sampled what was soaked up in the dirty bar rag or growing out of the rug The ribs were too fatty and smothered in the generic BBQ sauce that made this place famous The brisket was boring and overcooked The Texas fries were not fries nor were they good The sausage was edible but more so in a comparative way Even the bread was terriblen nThe food can be summed up as atrocious inedible poor quality and even hard to look at Truly some of the worst food I have ever eaten or looked at in my entire life The highlight of the night was easily when our server seemed astonished we refused the togo box Sorry but you should have been shaking our hands for even trying to make a meal out of those makemewanttogovegetarian plates of meat nnIt is worth mentioning that Texas Grill does two things and two things only correctly You will be seated quickly to ensure that the dead animals or the plethora of s business cards stapled to the walls do not scare you away and the plastic soft drink mugs are gigantic but I am sure this was implemented to minimize server interaction with the tablesnnGo grab a McRib or two before you throw away any money at this placeor be ready to pop some serious laxatives Outside of some rough drinking nights I have never felt the urge to vomit all over the place hours after a meal Good luck to you if you choose this place If you do decide to go do not forget to bring your business card it might be old enough to go up on the wall in that is assuming this place is around much longer