text: My wife is always yammering on about how this place is the shit I really do not want to go with you to Lowes but as long as you are going to be in the area can we stop at Chloes for lunch she asks with all the countenance of a child begging for candy at a grocers checkout nnI take my sweetass time in Lowes knowing full well what lies in storenSitting in Chloes for an hour watching as a seemingly endless procession of Scottsdale posers saunter by All this as I sit there in my grubby work clothes gnawing on some bunnyfood salad my wife suggested nnArrrghnnI had a Greek salad It was ok My wife had the same thing only hers was different than mine Hers had some secret ingredient that mine did not You would think she would just had a thirtyminute tantric orgasm the way she carried onnnThe woman seated next to us had a laptop the size of a football field She pretended to be working as she furtively gave everyone in the joint the onceover Even me for shits sakes My fashion do not apparel I supposennLittle did she know how her sneakiness skills were no match for minenIve had a lifetime of checking out womens boobs and never getting caught even without reflective sunglasses for Christs sakes What was SHE thinkingnI watched as she sat there checking out everyone is shit feigning interest in her keyboard save for occasionally whenever anyone sensed she was gawking at them then she would begin typing like her life depended on it nWhat a douchennI went home afterward and fixed the smellyass garbage disposal just as my wife had suggested ahem instructed ahem commandednShes full of good ideas on Saturdays