text: When my kidnappers finally dropped me off in an alley I cut off the rope and removed the duct tape from my mouth The afternoon sun dried my tears and my belly thought my throat had been cut It was not I was famished I mean I could have eaten an ox an elephant a scabby dog and a horse between two vans My captors took my wallet with identification my keys and my belt All I had on me was a ten dollar bill There is only one place that would accept me in this condition and feed me enough food for my survival It is time to man up and get in line at the ChipotlennWhen I entered the restaurant the air conditioning was an immediate relief For the last few days my only form of air conditioning was a Popsicle being waved in my face And then I heard music coming out of plywood walls The corrugated steel and concrete made me have flashbacks of my echoing warehouse prison I was detained in I had to stay brave and line up with the people that have not read any books about Communist Russia or The Grapes of Wrath We were all hungry and evidently we all forgot our wallets and purses and were forced to eat here with our ten dollar billsnnAll of the employees were pissed off that they had to serve people food while wearing the same tshirt for an entire week The air was permeated with beefgrease and I imagine that odor clings to fabric It would be nice if companies that require dress codes gave their employees enough clothing for a week and not just one shirt but then again it would be nice if my pants were not falling off while I was trying to decide if I wanted three sloppy tacos or a drippy burrito nnI went with the drippy burrito in order to not actually see what was going into my peckish gape The first thing the employees are eager to give you is rice They will pile it on One heaping spoon was too much but then she slapped on another small spoon too and smiled at me She was nice and I was too hungry to tell her that she was taking up space for the real stuff I was not in a position to make a scene although in retrospect everyone was already looking at me I was shuffling like a penguin down the assembly line because my ankles were still handcuffed together Jokes on them I pawned those bad boys and got about as much as I paid for the Chipotle ricefilled burritonnWhen I finally got a bite of beef it was savored Not because it was prepared in a marinade and cooked to a mouthwatering perfection Because it had a piece of tough ligament or rubbery fat still attached Whatever I was hungry and just spent the previous eight hours hogtied in the trunk of a car Do not judgennIt is really hard for someone to mess up a burrito that you tell them how to make I feel privileged enough now to write reviews on Yelp about all of the amazing artisans small businesses and kitchens that help make Phoenix a vibrant place to live and eat Mexican food is as diverse as the people and landscape that the food comes from When companies act as the face of an entire cultural experience in the exact same way all over the world negative stereotypes are formed about Mexican food Chipotle a company that brands itself as a Mexican eatery is more representative of flavors and products that can be eaten in a Taco Bell than eating from an eatery in Hermosillo or Nogales Unfortunately every corner in Phoenix is being taken up by cookiecutter prefab restaurants that replace genuine opportunities for families and bootstrap DIYers to make something out of our unique life experience while providing healthier fresh and local productsnnI was once kidnapped It was that day that I learned my city was hijacked Eat at Tacos De Jaurez on th St and Portland or La Condessa on th St just north of McDowell instead of Chipotle for better food in a more relaxed and comfortable community atmosphere for about the same pricepoint