text: I do not go to Starbucks anymore I used to but I got sick of walking in and having all the cool people sitting with their Macs sipping their caramel soy fuckwad machiato Americanos giving me the once over as if i am a bigfoot sighting or something nnnIts a real joke nI walk in and all the sneaky laptop whores quickly steal a furtive glance at my distressed fashion and shake their heads signaling I do not belong here Not like this Not with themall dressedup and ready for work nnThey probably do not know or rather how could they know I live next door And how easy it is to roll out of bed pillow perm and all dressed like a major buttmunch as I wander in half asleep for my morning espresso costing me around three bucks nI never did get thisnIf taking a laptop with you to Starbucks is so vital to your existence how is it you are so easily distracted each time the door swings open and the bell rings heralding the arrival of a new and potentially off the charts beautiful person you pretentious douchebagnSo anyway who needs that shit right No more Starbucks nnInstead I bought a Keurig coffee maker The one that uses those little Kcups Only the K should stand for kablastafucked since the price of a Kcup is somewhere just south of a Bentley Continental GT convertiblennAnd this is why I go to Costco This Costco in particularnYou can buy a box of fiftyfour Starbucks Kcups their Verona blend for only bucks nBuy them anywhere else and you will pay doublennSo now I sit and bang out Yelps on my laptop as I drink my morning Starbuck K cupnot a pretentious douchebag anywhere in sight nWell except for me of coursennNote K cups lasts me close to a month That is bucks for the entire month nI used to spend that in a week at Starbucks while getting judged in the process nNo more