Anonymous-EmpathyAI/Distortion-Analysis-PACLIC39 huggingface dataset:
Patient Question: From Mexico: I cant talk right, not even when Im alone. When I talk my voice sounds like if i were starting to cry or if i was nervous and it feels like im about to cry i feel this pressure in my throat and i feel very nervous sometimes my hands sweat and shake. 2 weeks before my period ive noticed this gets worse, stress and anxiety worsens it as well.
Distorted part: I cant talk right, not even when Im alone.
Dominant Distortion: Should statements
Patient Question: From Panama: It has been going for a while now, but I realized about a couple of weeks ago. It seems like a really bad habit, but now I’m not sure if it’s just a habit. I have a lot of interests. I like researching and finding out what I like, but that also happens to be a bad thing since when I find an interest and I decide to pursue it, after little time, I give up on it. I don’t know why, but I always seem to do it. It’s like I lose interest, or whatever motivation I had in the first place. For example, a couple of weeks ago I had decided to write a book. I’ve always loved writing and reading, even when I was younger. Reading is certainly an addiction, while writing fills me with satisfaction. So I started creating the plot and organizing the story, because I wanted to do it perfectly. I started making summaries per chapter so that when I actually start to write, I know what goes on in the chapter. I was so pumped about it. I felt like this time, I was going to do it right. Until a few days ago. The book was just by the half. I stopped logging in my computer. I stopped looking for words. I stopped having interest. I simply stopped wanting to write. And I know that it’s not writers block, because I knew what I had to write, I just didn’t want to. And I’m so annoyed about it, because I was telling myself at the beginning: “Don’t worry, you’ll totally make it through the end this time.” And once again, I’ve failed to complete it. And not just in writing, I also quit tap dancing, piano lessons, TV shows, you name it. And I’m disgusted by this because I want to finish stuff, but then I don’t. I’ve never been diagnosed with depression and anxiety disorders, but I’m pretty certain I have them. I’ve never checked myself because my parents have enough troubles on their own. I have also insulin resistance and tachycardia (they are aware), so I don’t want to trouble them with something as big as depression and anxiety that may just be all up in my head and possibly not be true. I just keep everything inside, and wait until it all goes away. Please help me.
Distorted part: And I’m disgusted by this because I want to finish stuff, but then I don’t.
Dominant Distortion: Personalization
Patient Question: I am from India. Recently I joined a big MNC. This is my first shot in corporate world and since I am a survivor of repeated child sexual abuse, I have very low self esteem, trust and sharing issues I already am not sure if I will be able to survive in this cut throat world. So this happened on an official vacation. I used to think that my boss doesn’t like me at all. So when he started talking to me I was really happy. But then he asked me to accompany him to the beach. It was 11 in the night. Completely sure that he would do nothing, I went (now I can’t stop blaming myself for that stupid decision). Then it started getting really uncomfortable and scary for me. He made sexual advances but I didn’t allow him to do anything. Then he said he was only testing me because he thought I was too mellow for this corporate life and I need to become more fierce. After that my already low confidence is now at a negative level. After that night he acted like nothing happened and it really bugged me. Now I am having dreams about him and I have started developing feelings for him. I am hating myself for it. I feel that because of my past and the fact that I haven’t shared it with anyone in this world I have become really desperate for love and relationship which I have never had. I want to be loved, I want to be valued but since I am overweight I fear I will never get that love. I want to get over my past which I am not able to. Those memories haunt me. Those men, their touch, my attempts to cut myself with blades when I was just 8 or 9 (I would cut my hands, let them bleed and then wash off and carry on normally with my life; my family being unaware of everything). Everything haunts me and I hate myself and when a guy even for wrong reasons said he likes me, I melted. This is so wrong on my part. How can I be so desperate? Help me.
Distorted part: This is my first shot in corporate world and since I am a survivor of repeated child sexual abuse, I have very low self esteem, trust and sharing issues I already am not sure if I will be able to survive in this cut throat world.  Everything haunts me and I hate myself and when a guy even for wrong reasons said he likes me, I melted.
Dominant Distortion: Fortune-telling
Secondary Distortion: Personalization
Patient Question: From Australia: Over the past 15 years since leaving domestic violence I have struggled with Ataxia which is the result of assaults to my head. I have found it hard to fit in since. My age group (I’m 72) lives a normal life while Ataxia limitations put me in another basket. I could only keep up with the aged persons.
Dominant Distortion: No Distortion
Patient Question: I read the book -stop walking on egg shells- which was presented to me by a friend who put 2 and 2 together about my mother before I even had a clue. My norm growing up became sudden shifts of being yelled at and told that I was lazy and selfish, etc… and my mother threatening me occasionally with her own death, which left me feeling powerless to go live with my dad even though I had a choice. The growth I have done on my own is not sufficient to compensate from the messed up coping mechanisms I learned when I was growing up alone with my BPD mother. Regardless of meditation and journal-ing I am prone to perfectionism, people pleasing to an extreme, and I am just learning now how to establish boundaries so that I am not enmeshed in other people’s lives or completely withdrawn. Since I lived with my mother alone I have had loops of everything she used to tell me I was growing up- all leading up to “no one will love me if I don’t try really really hard to maintain their love”. I often give up on who I am in order to avoid, what I now believe to be, imagined potential conflict. I have been admitting to myself that I am not selfish, I take care of myself. Admitting that I am not lazy, in fact, sometimes I work extremely hard and that has made me successful. I have begun to understand my own values, morals, beliefs, etc. I am trying to shift my modus operendi from self-doubt and “right/wrong-ness” to deciding what I am confident is important to me and standing up for that. I feel like I need a little more support, more literature, and I need to understand better how this upbringing might have affected me otherwise. I want to be the kind of person that is generous, empathetic, considerate, and kind, but I want to have intentions of genuine care rather than fear of someone else hurting me. So what resources are out there? How can I stop thinking that my behavior will affect people’s feelings and stop worrying that I am damaging people? How can I stand more solidly on my own, even though I feel like I raised myself?
Distorted part: Since I lived with my mother alone I have had loops of everything she used to tell me I was growing up- all leading up to “no one will love me if I don’t try really really hard to maintain their love”.
Dominant Distortion: Fortune-telling
Patient Question: I’m very confused as to what this means. Recently, even when I am exhausted, I have not wanted to fall asleep. It’s not that I can’t fall asleep, as when I do decide to sleep, I fall asleep very quickly. It has been bothering me, and I would like you opinion. What does it mean, when you are completely exhausted, but have no desire to go to sleep? I have searched everywhere, and no one seems to have posted something regarding this issue. Please answer, it is effecting my school work.
Dominant Distortion: No Distortion
Patient Question: My boyfriend says he will break up with me if I don’t stop doing this thing that I do. He says it’s my childish attitude but I’ll try to be more specific. This happens when I get my feelings hurt. I deal with my emotions in front of other people and affect them instead of dealing with my emotions in private. I ruin plans or create drama/a scene by either reacting outwardly with my emotions (screaming/throwing a fit but I do that much less than I used to) or I react passively where I still show that I am upset but instead of being just plain aggressive, I am passive aggressive where I run out of the room drawing attention to me and I affect those around me and often ruining the vibe/good time. I do the latter of the two the most.
Distorted part: I deal with my emotions in front of other people and affect them instead of dealing with my emotions in private.
Dominant Distortion: Personalization
Patient Question: From a teen in Egypt: I don’t know how to say this but I’ll try my best. Over the past few months abnormal thoughts have been taking over head. For example, when I fight with my mom there’s this voice in my head that keeps telling me that i should hit her and hurt her, and at times kill her. This is what made me realize that I should probably see a counselor.
Dominant Distortion: No Distortion
Patient Question: I have a hard time not being able to control my anger towards my mother. Every time she does something that irritates me i get really angry and start to breath heavy and have the need to break things, after that i start to cry and whisper to myself “I hate her, i hate her.” I dont know where my anger towards her comes from but it has always been this way. I really cant stand her. If it wasn’t for my younger brother i would not talk to her at all, But he needs me, so im dealing with her just for him. Im not diagnosed but im certain i suffer from depression and i would not be surprised if i have something else, since mental health issues runs in the family. I get easily upset and angry, but especially with my mother. I dont know how to deal with things and i dont want to break things, so i end up clenching my fists or pushing my nails into my arm or even biting my self hard just to not break anything, i’ve hit myself in the head many times just to try to get rid of my anger, im hurting myself and i dont want to do that, but i just cant control it. Im to afraid to go to someone who can diagnose me or help me since i know my family would be disapointed, and it would be really bad for my younger brother. He really looks up to me and i dont want to hurt him in any way. I know my health comes first, but i care too much for others. (age 20, from Sweden)
Distorted part: Every time she does something that irritates me i get really angry and start to breath heavy and have the need to break things, after that i start to cry and whisper to myself “I hate her, i hate her.”
Dominant Distortion: Magnification
Patient Question: I am 50 year old. as far as i can remember, I have been masturbating from when i was 13 or 14 yrs old. I like masturbation better than sex, I can watch videos and do it. also i like to wear woman’s lingerie or tight clothes and masturbate. I also like bondage videos. I am sometimes jealous of the girls that can wear nice clothes, high heels etc. I am confused. do i have any psychological issue? thanks a lot.
Dominant Distortion: No Distortion
Patient Question: From the U.S.: I have been in an unhappy marriage for five years, since our daughter was born to be exact. Although she makes me feel so lucky and a very happy mom, my husband and I seemed to agree to be a team and work together for the sake of her happiness. I always thought that doesn’t matter how difficult our relationship gets, I would never leave him because I don’t want our daughter to grow up with divorced parents. I promised this to myself, until I met “The One”.
Dominant Distortion: No Distortion
Patient Question: Hello, Over approximately the last year and a half I feel as I have become a very unstable person. I am constantly becoming angry over very little things and sometimes I notice that I am angry for no reason at all. It is usually a very intense anger and I feel as it controls me and I mostly cannot control it. It is like every little thing sets me off into a rage and I make very poor decisions such as punching something, breaking something or throwing something. I have punched three holes into the walls of my house and have broken more things than I can count. I have also been having a constant feeling of emptiness, it is hard to describe but it literally feels like something is missing from inside me and nothing can fill it. Sometimes if I drink alcohol the feeling subsides but sometimes it can make it worse to. But nothing else I have tried make the feeling go away.
Distorted part: I am constantly becoming angry over very little things and sometimes I notice that I am angry for no reason at all. It is usually a very intense anger and I feel as it controls me and I mostly cannot control it. It is like every little thing sets me off into a rage and I make very poor decisions such as punching something, breaking something or throwing something.
Dominant Distortion: Magnification
Patient Question: From the UK: Hi, Recently I’ve noticed my partner has been really moody and down so today I asked how he is. I got the same response as usual, which is that he can’t really describe it, stuff is getting caught up with his issues and because we had been arguing a lot lately.
Dominant Distortion: No Distortion
Patient Question: My twin identifies as transgender nonbinary, and is biologically female. They are recovering from anorexia (very underweight) and body dysmorphic disorder, as well as depression and hints of bipolar disorder but are acting selfish, cruel, irrational, entitled. This has been happening for about two years, and my parents have been very transphobic and controlling of my twin, constantly fretting over them to eat more and act more “girlish”, as they wish to “return” their physical image and behaviors to their original biological sex. I am their twin, their closest friend and confidant, and we know so much about each other than we can literally finish each other’s sentences and basically read each other’s minds. I can tell when they are upset even if their face expression changes a tiny bit. This is the problem — our closeness.
Distorted part: They are recovering from anorexia (very underweight) and body dysmorphic disorder, as well as depression and hints of bipolar disorder but are acting selfish, cruel, irrational, entitled.
Dominant Distortion: Labeling
Patient Question: From Canada: My mother and father were addicted to drugs my whole childhood (father still is, mom’s not but still messed up from it) and me and my brother grew up having a tumultuous childhood and also were in fosters homes off and on. But now I’m older and I’ve made a really great life for myself and I’m trying to do some self-improvement on emotions.
Dominant Distortion: No Distortion
Patient Question: From the U.S.: My boyfriend and I have been together close to 10 years. Recently, I left him after an argument, one of many. It was the breaking point for me after spending years of him abusing me verbally, mentally, emotionally, and with his constant accusation of infidelity and drug abuse on a daily basis.
Dominant Distortion: No Distortion
Patient Question: My name is S—-, and I’m 19 years old. For most of my life, I’ve been experiencing urges to kill people. And not with guns or anything like that either. I want to slice them open with a knife, taste their raw flesh, and watch the light leave their eyes as they die. If people on the street knew what I was thinking about doing to them, then they’d probably be horrified. Fantasizing about this sort of of thing really arouses me sexually, and while it’s not the only thing that does, it’s possibly the best. These urges don’t only occur when I’m upset or angered, but those emotions definitely amplify them. For example, if I’m just standing there with something sharp in my hand, I’ll have the impulse to just thrust it into the soft throat of the nearest person. I would just love to feel it sink in, and get covered by the blood gushing from their wound. I’d probably cannibalize their body, too, because I love the smell and taste of blood. When I was younger, I would cut my arms just to taste the blood and rub it on my face. I’ve never actually killed anyone, no matter how much I’ve wanted to, but I a did stab my neighbor’s dog to death once. It just made me feel so alive, like nothing else ever had, to feel it’s fear and watch it die. Now that I’m writing this all down, it’s making me sound like some kind of deformed, basement-dwelling freak. But I’m an attractive person, have a sizable amount of friends, loving parents, and a beautiful girlfriend. She’s the real reason I’m writing this; I’m absolutely horrified by the prospect of her finding out what I’m like. I don’t want her to be afraid of me, but she’s too sweet to not be. I haven’t “gotten help” yet because I’m still living off of my parents, and I haven’t even told them I’m a lesbian yet, much less a psychotic cannibal. I just can’t see that conversation going well. I’ve also often fantasized about stabbing a therapist in the eye with his own pen, so I don’t know if that would be such a good idea. I don’t really want to have these thoughts and feelings, but my life wouldn’t be so fulfilling without them. Why am I like this?
Distorted part: Now that I’m writing this all down, it’s making me sound like some kind of deformed, basement-dwelling freak.
Dominant Distortion: Labeling
Patient Question: My name is —, from small’ve had psychological problems from wanting to kill, hallucinations, sleep paralysis, attention deficit, wants to commit suicide, etc … and this has been happening since I was three years, at first it was so constant and sharp, but the years passed I managed to control myself, but since 2014 these symptoms have recurred … every time I find it harder to keep my composure and keep going, I hallucinate with very horrible things, death caused either by me or by my former “imaginary friends” that have reappeared but even more violent and bloodthirsty. I could not tell anyone for fear of his reaction, I am aware of what I see, what I feel .. but there are times when I confuse hallucinations with the real world, these “imaginary friends” tell me to do and say things such as attacking another person, insult, hurt me physically it. I find studying, giving me more afraid It is that just no longer appear when I’m alone but also when I am among many, very often I des-focus or fail to be in the real world and step to hallucinate, see, hear and feel everything that my mind creates. spend time looking at a place, and there I see some imaginary being and this makes nis companions anxious and ask to see it, sometimes or I have recently gained much trouble in high school, because I do not copy because I dis-focus or I start to hallucinate more strongly than I do when I am in active living with someone, I took her phobia of people, all … well, some more than others and this makes me very difficult relationship teacher -student and student-peers. everything is coming to an end, sometimes I am not aware of what I do, what I see, what I say, etc …
Distorted part: I could not tell anyone for fear of his reaction, I am aware of what I see, what I feel .. but there are times when I confuse hallucinations with the real world, these “imaginary friends” tell me to do and say things such as attacking another person, insult, hurt me physically it.
Dominant Distortion: Mind Reading
Patient Question: For a long time I’ve thought people or things were talking to me when no one is there or that i can feel them talking to me or pushing me to do what they want. I’m afraid people can hear what i’m thinking and they’re all just trying to hide it from me. I get really like this when i’m near mirrors. I’ve attempted suicide twice, I cant stay happy for more than a few hours at a time, I cant focus I only get 3 or maybe 4 hours of sleep at a time tops and it keeps me from doing and I’m too exhausted to work most times. Everyone at work wants me fired and i’m sure they’re all talking about it when i’m not around. My relationship with my family is bad and i don’t think they really like me very much either. I went to a therapist for three years and I lied every time he asked a question. I’m too scared if he knows something bad will happen. Most times when I was young (and even now) parents or authority figures would be scolding me or asking questions and I couldn’t force myself to answer and they’d get angry with me and then I’d get even worse. I’ve had violent thoughts frequently and I can’t control them. I just want to know whats wrong with me.
Distorted part: I’m afraid people can hear what i’m thinking and they’re all just trying to hide it from me.
Dominant Distortion: Mind Reading
Patient Question: Hello! Since i was a kid i always had problems of making friends. I travelled a lot, went to summer camps in Europe, prestige ones, graduated a good university(bachelor degree). But i always had the same problem: at some point i was becoming a person no one paid interest to or even tried to ignore me. Sometimes it even turn to fights… When i turned 18 i have found a couple of very good friends and we were drinking every weekend. didnt pay attention to health issues and many times (about 10) drank till blacking out… couldnt control myself and felt completely happy while being drunk. I also was smoking marihuana for about half a year. Ive never had a girlfriend(not because i am an unattractive, but my behavior) . The second problem i face–i cant concentrate at all. Since i was very young i have lost like 10 cell phones, credit cards, wallets, driver license, laptops. And i really hate myself for this. I tried many different sports(triathlon, half-marathon, boxing) for building precision, watched 100-s of TED talks, took some courses in coursera but seems like it getting worse and worse. Friends and family call me lazy,moony etc. While studying i distract every 5-7 minutes. To enter this question i spend like 3 hours. But sometimes feel very energetic, enthusiastic for a couple minutes. I jump, shout and feel like a champion. And i cant really predict this or control. Especially when i listen to the music. I stopped drinking alcohol for 3 month and do not plan to continue. I believed that i can start a new life and become a normal concentrated person within 3 month of writing down all my activities in my diary and analyze it weekly. To sum up 4 hours a day on average i spend in a “focused mode”. But after 1 week of having a rest i returned to the previous version of mine. During these 3 month i cried a lot, punched myself in a face, tried to die while doing sports. Time goes faster and my mental power is reducing. I forget things more often and sleep more. In the period from 8 to 16 years old my daddy used to punish me physically and was shouting at me probably everyday. I really want to switch but seems like i cant find an appropriate tool for it by myself.
Distorted part: But i always had the same problem: at some point i was becoming a person no one paid interest to or even tried to ignore me.  The second problem i face–i cant concentrate at all. 
Dominant Distortion: Overgeneralization