Anonymous-EmpathyAI/Distortion-Analysis-PACLIC39 huggingface dataset:
Hi there, I’m torn between accepting or rejecting a diagnosis of Bipolar II. A clinical psychologist diagnosed me with Bipolar II a week ago and now I am under a primary care physician to receive mood stabilizing medication this week. I don’t think I have bipolar disorder though. Can personality not sometimes resemble bipolar? I am sometimes hyperactive and able to take on a 100 projects, feel super smart and pretty and am at the top of my game. I need little sleep and in fact find sleep an annoying timewaster. Then I have times, probably more often, where I feel sorry for myself, feel ugly, stupid and can barely clean my flat or look after my pets. When I’m hyper, I harm no one, I don’t spend too much or gamble or drink or do anything that could be considered damaging. I just work really hard, accomplish a lot (I work fulltime as a project manager, am a freelance educational writer and am in the third year of a science degree for which I have had 18 distinctions so far). When I am down, I do feel very sad and think of killing myself every now and then, but I would never kill myself as I know logically this would be stupid and that I always feel better again. In my mind, I am just a highly functional individual who is able to achieve a lot, use my time to the max, sometimes feeling on the top of the world and sometimes not. I’m used to feeling like this and I have all sorts of coping mechanisms around it. I am completely alone, no family and few uninvolved friends, so my state of mood never affects anyone. I also have no support structure should it really be bipolar and should I need help. I don’t understand why I should go on mood stabilizers and antipsychotics. I’ve had no breaks with reality, just a few very minor private breakdowns where I have cried a lot. But I got over those and I was just overworked and under a lot of pressure and it didn’t affect anyone other than me. What do you do when you are torn between accepting a diagnosis and thinking it is total nonsense? I change my mind at least 20 times a day. I can’t imagine I will be able to be compliant with taking medication or accepting help. (age 38, from South Africa)

Cognitive distortion: Mental filter
Distorted part: {'text': ['Then I have times, probably more often, where I feel sorry for myself, feel ugly, stupid and can barely clean my flat or look after my pets.'], 'answer_start': [517]}
Often I’m troubled with specific lines from song verses and insults towards myself that get repeated in my head over and over again. Sometimes it won’t stop for forty five minutes to an hour. It happens at random times. For example, i’ll wake up in the morning with only the first line of a chorus stuck in my head and it’ll just keep repeating until it fades away on its own. The insults: I feel if I don’t repeatedly say them to myself out loud they’ll just repeat in my head like the song lyric. The insults are explicit and I don’t mean to call myself such derogatory things but I feel like they’re being directed at me by someone else in my head. I have to keep repeating them until I feel I don’t need to anymore. I do have terrible anxiety and both issues get worse when I’m more anxious than my baseline level of anxiety that’s always with me. I never feel like there’s a quiet moment in my head. Everything circulates so quickly that sometimes I can’t grab onto a full thought and I end up confusing myself on what i’m thinking or how i’m feeling. I can only sleep after I stay up so late that I exhaust myself completely and that’s when some of my brain slows down. I never know how i’m going to wake up feeling or “who”, in a sense, i’m going to wake up as. I feel as if that confusion also stems from the  rapid fire of thoughts always in my head. One moment i’m thinking of a fun memory, the next instant i’m thinking of death, then philosophy, then my future, then video games, then literature . . . it just goes on and on like someone repeatedly opens an encyclopedia, randomly points to a definition, then immediately flips to a different page and randomly chooses another definition before I could read the first definition. I’m never long on one thought. Could this be a product of anxiety? It’s both advantageous and bothersome as it makes me a quick thinker but not very good at focusing; it’s hard to read and I’ve got another semester coming this September. Everything’s only getting worse. (age 20, from US)

Cognitive distortion: Mental filter
Distorted part: {'text': ['Everything circulates so quickly that sometimes I can’t grab onto a full thought and I end up confusing myself on what i’m thinking or how i’m feeling. '], 'answer_start': [905]}
I know I am introvert type person, but what I’m having trouble with is that I dislike people. I won’t say hate them nor would I wish them harm but I find it very hard to tolerate people…I think people in general are idiots. Because of my generally dislike of people and view that they are all idiots don’t matter if you had higher education everyone is an idiot and people are nasty creatures. It have me worry, I’m unemployed at the moment and when I think about working with people I get very… discourage. I don’t want to interact with anyone. I find making small talk and meeting new people to be very hard. I feel overwhelmed thinking about interacting with other people. I want to but at the same time I don’t, I start to think what would I say, i’ll sound like an idiot, I’m not intelligent person. I also just don’t like being around them, but at the same time I do get lonely and I want company. But when I have company I just them to go away. For the few people I do know personally I don’t really like them that much. That goes with my family also, I love my mother, father and brother but at the same time I really dislike them and would like to be free from them. I have 1 friend that I like but I don’t like hanging out with her too much i feel that if I do I’ll start to dislike her as well. I also worry about become to attach and depend of her. I worry that if our friendship will break apart that we will grow apart and that I will be hurt.

Cognitive distortion: Overgeneralization
Distorted part: {'text': ['I won’t say hate them nor would I wish them harm but I find it very hard to tolerate people…I think people in general are idiots. '], 'answer_start': [94]}
From the U.S.: For about 7 years now I can barely get through a conversation without crying. It’s humiliating and is uncomfortable for everyone involved. Anything can trigger it but I seem to have narrowed it down to three general triggers. All of these triggers are things that I normally would never give a second thought let alone burst into tears about. 1) Any large group activity – baseball games, choir performances, kids school performances. If a group is together and I’m part of it, at some point I cry. 2) When anyone shares anything the least bit sentimental. For example – a friend of mine was talking about her son’s kindergarten graduation. His teacher taught the kids the sign language sign for “I love you” so that the next year that would be their secret signal around the school. Cute right? Cute. She was telling me this and I burst into tears! To the point I couldn’t speak. This happens all the time. 3) Anytime I have to speak about anything spiritual. I’ve almost stopped going to church. I can’t talk about any of it – not even planning a simple kids activity without crying at some point.

Cognitive distortion: No Distortion
Distorted part: {'text': [''], 'answer_start': [-1]}
Whenever I’m holding something sharp in my hands and I’m near someone I wonder what would happen if I stabbed them with it. I won’t be angry, I’ll just be curious, mostly about what the blood looks like. I got so curious that last week, I cut my hand open with a knife so I could see the blood, and I didn’t realize it was strange until I was cleaning it up. Lately, whenever I touch anyone, I start thinking about their insides and wondering what they’d look like cut up.

Cognitive distortion: No Distortion
Distorted part: {'text': [''], 'answer_start': [-1]}
To start, I should explain I’ve always been rather imaginative, a trait which hasn’t been lost as I’ve matured. I could think things into being, see the future, and I’d caused the death of my grandfather by picking up a penny which’d been facing tails-up. Mind you, I was well into high school and still find clues and symbolism where I know they certainly don’t reside. But these do me no harm, really. The most harmful of these was an obsession with my weight. The fear of becoming fat slowly morphed to the fear that I was already fat and my perception was warped, which soon escalated to the accusation that everyone else was keeping what I really looked like from me, frequently dropping hints as a sot of inside-joke. The size on my trousers had been changed as well-an idea I knew was impossible, yet still entertained. Needless to say, I became obsessive over the intake and burning of calories. Then, a couple years later, a light clicked and I realized how delusional I was. Mind you, the weaning process was slow and steady-it took months before I could drink juice without becoming anxious-but self-awareness is the first step to recovery. I’m learning, unfortunately, that this is an issue which doesn’t simply disappear. As of late, I’ve become aware of those same vain whispers. They are beginning to resurface and though they aren’t as loud as before, they seem to be getting harder to ignore. In October of last year, my family and I went on a picnic, to which I wore a sort-of-midriff. When my mother sent me the pictures she’d taken, I had so much anxiety I cried. It was such a dreadful panic. I thought I was over my fear of weight-gain, but something as simple as a picture set me off. Logically, I know I’m thin, yet I can’t fully convince myself. These thoughts have been building, and I’ve been trying to ignore them, but it isn’t working. I’m so terrified of this fear regaining its strength and avoid activities or clothes which may trigger the anxiety. How might I put an end to this before it becomes severe? (age 20, from US)

Cognitive distortion: Personalization
Distorted part: {'text': ['I could think things into being, see the future, and I’d caused the death of my grandfather by picking up a penny which’d been facing tails-up. '], 'answer_start': [112]}
I just want to get this off my chest, and I truly don’t know if I’ll ever get the answer I want to hear. My entire life, I never felt I belonged in the world… I don’t see the value of any of the frivolous, uhg. My family doesn’t understand me and labels me before even trying to. God has always been a center in my family’s life, but never felt the faith thrust upon me. Every year of school was the same; I was the shy introvert with few friends that still, to this day, don’t know me that well. I constantly mask myself and only show people what they want to see (a trait developed from bullying and fear). Over time, I became addicted to removing myself from my skin in any way possible, I thank God that it hasn’t gotten bad enough to turn to anything harmful. I hate being — well — me, but this shell must still be maintained. For years I put the blame on everyone else and dug myself in a hole my first year of college. For a while I tried to change the way I thought, but never could change the negativity the oozed from from me. I am always told — and try to convince myself — that I am the change I wish to see in the world, but lost passion and can’t find my purpose. I just don’t know if I’ll ever fit in this world, and figure out what about me makes it so impossible!

Cognitive distortion: Fortune-telling
Distorted part: {'text': ['My entire life, I never felt I belonged in the world… I don’t see the value of any of the frivolous, uhg.'], 'answer_start': [105]}
From a 17 year old in Canada: I have four friends. We used to be really good friends, but even then, I was constantly left out since two of them were best friends, the other two were best friends, and I was the extra. Lately, they’ve been starting to think I’m annoying. They constantly talk in a group chat without me. They’ve made so many plans without me. At school, they still talk to me and endure me.

Cognitive distortion: Mind Reading
Distorted part: {'text': ['We used to be really good friends, but even then, I was constantly left out since two of them were best friends, the other two were best friends, and I was the extra. Lately, they’ve been starting to think I’m annoying.'], 'answer_start': [51]}
I am usually good at handling my problems and just push through my day but now these issues feel like I need to do something else. When I’m in school I think I’m doing just fine then get a letter saying I need to take summer school because I failed my classes. I want to change the way I think but I just end up feeling like I’m trapped, then leave it for another day to escape from the feeling of sinking. I have been doing this all my life and seems to be the only way I keep myself feeling good and not just upset at what I have to deal with. My teachers tell me just go to extra help, get a tutor, stay after school…all of these are great ideas but I cant just accept help. I feel stressed out for no reason when ever some tries to help and tell me things I NEED to do. I understand I need help but what can I do to make myself get it and not just brush it off, acting like it wont stab me in the back ? (age 17, from US)

Cognitive distortion: No Distortion
Distorted part: {'text': [''], 'answer_start': [-1]}
Hello, Thank you for answering my questions/concerns. I’m an eighteen year old girl whose very confused about herself and had to grow up way too fast and just keeps her problems to herself because no one will understand, I know you would like to get to the root, so I will just get to the point. 1) When I am in a bathroom, I feel someone is going to come out of the stalls and kill me. Also, if I am an elevator or a large hall by myself, I begin to feel pressure in my face and body to the point where I have to put hands over my ears like a child and is paralyzed. However, when I see another person, I instantly am better, the pressure is gone and everything. I have been like this for a long time. My mother laughs and just think I am acting like a little girl. But I know that their is something wrong here. Whats up with that? 2)I am very socially weird and growing up I heard sex is just something that will damn you to hell if you do it, because you get pregnant. In high school I was a virgin and did everything perfect and didn’t want to look bad in the eyes of the lord or others. However, my hormones would kick in. SEX!! I couldn’t stop the feeling. I needed it like air. When I would make out with guys, a weird sensation would happen and I would breathe heavily ( not like I am having an asthma attack or anything I was just fine) and just tremble like I am gasping for air. Even when I thought about it too much it would happen either before or after I would make out with a guy or even think about it. 3) Lastly, I have voices that talk to me in my head. There is eight of them inside of me. They all have names and personalities of there own. Bobbi is the bad one and he makes me want to hurt other…just impulses to kill someone or just choke them. Phoebe is a sexual predator and will want to kidnap someone to make them her personal play toy….the others are harmless but enhance my mood to their personality. But when I am stressed they tend to take over.

Cognitive distortion: Should statements
Distorted part: {'text': ['I am very socially weird and growing up I heard sex is just something that will damn you to hell if you do it, because you get pregnant.'], 'answer_start': [836]}
From an 18 year old young man in the US: hi 2 years ago i had injury in my knee and since then i started reading about any pain i get .. i thought i had a heart attack and went to the er like 4 times and then thought i had cancer and did so many tests and visited many doctors and even did colon test to find if i had colon cancer cuz my mom had it and im worried about my health alot and my mom and dad i rlly worry about their health speically my dad

Cognitive distortion: No Distortion
Distorted part: {'text': [''], 'answer_start': [-1]}
I am 23 years old, and a female. I have never been in a romantic, sexual relationship with any man (although I have kissed many and really enjoyed it). I knew my whole life that I was emotionally and physically attracted to men. I know that I have always wanted to marry a man. I have never had, nor am I a crushing on a girl. I have only ever wanted to be in an emotional intimate relationship with a man. However, I feel aroused when I watch two women having sex, which scares and confuses me. Over the last week I have this screaming thought in my head that I am gay, and I can’t seem to get rid of it no matter how hard I try. However the thought of being romantically attached and in a relationship with a women repulses me and makes me sick. I feel extreme anxiety, and it has severely changed my sleeping and eating patterns. I am up all night wondering if I am gay as well as wondering if I will ever have any romantic attachment with a man. As soon as I try and convince myself that I am straight, I panic and feel like I’m lying to myself, and tell myself that I am deep in denial. Every time I go out, I am scared that I will see a girl and fall in love with her and lose all my interest in men, which scares me even more. I came across information about HOCD, and immediately identified with of all the emotional and physical experiences that other people went through, which made me feel a bit more calm. But now I have started to convince myself that what I identified with when I read HOCD was a lie and that deep down I am a closeted gay (even though I know that’s not true). I have spoken to my mother and a few of my friends about how I am feeling which helps me feel less stressed but five minutes later to an hour I convince myself that all I have said was a lie and I am deep in denial, which makes me more depressed.  I don’t know what I am feeling and it scares the hell out of me. I feel like I have lost my identity. I was wondering if there was any techniques that I could use to make me feel calm and think rationally. I would love to see a therapist but I have too many other expenses in my life so I can’t afford it. Please help me. I want to feel the way I used to, which was excited at the prospect of meeting a man and falling completely in love with them, and not depressed and repulsed by the thought of falling in love with a woman. (age 23, South Africa)

Cognitive distortion: All-or-nothing thinking
Distorted part: {'text': ['I don’t know what I am feeling and it scares the hell out of me. I feel like I have lost my identity. I was wondering if there was any techniques that I could use to make me feel calm and think rationally. '], 'answer_start': [1840]}
From Canada: I’ve always felt different, and I’ve hated myself for it, but that’s in the past. And even then, despite hating myself for being different, when other people didn’t understand me, I always thought that there was something wrong with them for not understanding, even more so when they bullied me for it. I have a general dislike for people because of this, and presently, I do not initiate a relationship. I do, however, have healthy relationships with other people, and I keep a close friendship with a few people.

Cognitive distortion: Labeling
Distorted part: {'text': ['I’ve always felt different, and I’ve hated myself for it, but that’s in the past. And even then, despite hating myself for being different, when other people didn’t understand me, I always thought that there was something wrong with them for not understanding, even more so when they bullied me for it. '], 'answer_start': [13]}
current_problem: From the U.S: I’m 14. My parents control every part of my life and sometimes use physical force. For example, not too long ago, my mom yelled at me for being on the phone for 15 min in the basement. She got my dad for backup and he gave me 4 blows to the side of the head and bent my glasses.

Cognitive distortion: No Distortion
Distorted part: {'text': [''], 'answer_start': [-1]}
From the U.S: 25 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER, WITH A FIVE YEAR OLD SON, CAN’T PAY HER BILLS, ALWAYS HAS DRAMA, CONSTANTLY ASKING FOR HELP WITH EVERYTHING FROM RENT OR FIXING HER CAR, WHICH WE OWN. WE’VE BEEN HELPING HER FOR TEN YEARS WITH HER PROBLEMS. IT’S ALWAYS SOMETHING. I.E. HER HOURS WERE CUT AT JOB, CAN’T PAY HER RENT, SHE HAS TERRIBLE CREDIT, CAN’T GET A CREDIT CARD, SHE HAS A MISDEMEANOR ON HER BACKGROUND CHECK, CAN’T FIND ANOTHER JOB.

Cognitive distortion: No Distortion
Distorted part: {'text': [''], 'answer_start': [-1]}
From the U.S.: My sister and I were physically and emotionally abused and emotionally neglected by our mom when we were little. (It isn’t still happening. My sister has had no contact with our mom since she was nine.) For me, it caused problems that eventually led to severe depression and several suicide attempts.

Cognitive distortion: No Distortion
Distorted part: {'text': [''], 'answer_start': [-1]}
From the U.S.: My girlfriend and I have been in a rocky two-year relationship. She is amazing and my best friend. We are engaged now. We have many external stressors (my med school, her being in a city she hates, money), but also both have respective insecurities, anxiety, depression, and trust issues. I’ve come to realize that many of the problems I bring to the relationship are tied to insecurities and low self esteem. Thus, I tend to use her as a litmus test for my self-worth.

Cognitive distortion: No Distortion
Distorted part: {'text': [''], 'answer_start': [-1]}
From the U.S.: I believe my brother suffers from a severe personality disorder. He is 21 years old. He is extremely aggressive when he doesn’t get his way, he verbally abuses those that are close to him because “we don’t ever help him with anything”. He’s incredibly lazy, refuses to work and uses my parents divorce as an excuse to be “depressed” and miss work.

Cognitive distortion: No Distortion
Distorted part: {'text': [''], 'answer_start': [-1]}
I am 23 year old and I was sexually abused by my brother when I was 6 years old. I only have fragments of memories of being abused as a kid. My brother pretended it never happened and never touched me again. I grew up being in confused state whether or not I was abused. From childhood, I lacked self control for example I was eating continuously, watching T.V. continuously for 8 to 10 hours, neglecting my health. I was messed up and never told anyone about this. Right now I have cut off all my contact with my brother and my condition is getting worse after I realized and accepted I was sexually abused. My daily activities has been severely hampered and I can’t seem to take control of my life, I feel like I am possessed and control by someone else when I am staying alone. I procrastinate a lot and knowingly hurt myself which i don’t like. I tried therapy and it didn’t work out my condition. I don’t know what to do as I feel lost. (age 23, from India)

Cognitive distortion: Emotional Reasoning
Distorted part: {'text': ['My daily activities has been severely hampered and I can’t seem to take control of my life, I feel like I am possessed and control by someone else when I am staying alone. '], 'answer_start': [609]}