Anonymous-EmpathyAI/Distortion-Analysis-PACLIC39 huggingface dataset:
Hey i am Ay. from Turkey Istanbul. I will get straight to the point. I used to scare death but this summer i started to not. I dont know why but I actually started to want to be dead. But i was scared that what if i die and nothing gonna happen like all empytness and black screen but sometimes i thought myself maybe i will go heaven and there is god. I searched the internet and i found out that I have anxiety but i dont believe that. I dont know why but i feel like i am going to die. No, i am not going to suicide and never tried that but i kinda feel like it is going to be a traffic accident or someone will kill me. And now i dont fear nothing . I sometimes think of my funeral and ask myself how many people will attempt? I always get sad that my family will cry a lot. My grandma , my mom , my father and my big brother. I dont want to see them sad.I have been feeling these for 3 months and these days i kinda feel like i am in my last days. I am ready to go.

Cognitive distortion: Fortune-telling
Distorted part: {'text': ['I dont know why but I actually started to want to be dead. But i was scared that what if i die and nothing gonna happen like all empytness and black screen but sometimes i thought myself maybe i will go heaven and there is god. '], 'answer_start': [125]}
My boyfriend had a “golden shower” fetish and prefers that I do it instead of him masturbating to it. Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 3 years, and plan on being together for a very long time. A few weeks after we became intimate he told me about his golden shower fetish, but told me that he was only interested in it because of his ex and that he no longer did it. I later found out that it wasn’t true and that his fetish started long before his ex was even in his life. I tried to understand it, and even did it sometimes for him, but now it’s at the point where he only wants me to be the one to do it, and he doesn’t even like watching “his videos” anymore. I’m not into the idea at all. It turns it and me completely off makes such a mess! (I always make him clean it up) If he is expecting it, and it doesn’t happen, he gets upset with me, even though he knows I don’t like to do it.

Cognitive distortion: No Distortion
Distorted part: {'text': [''], 'answer_start': [-1]}
I am 16 years old. The bad: Already, I am obsessed with massive amounts of fame and money. I obsess over money. I want to have acres and mansions to my name. I want to have everybody know my name around the world and have celebrities come to my parties held at my massive palace estate. I want to be chased by paparazzi and I want to be on every talk show every weekend. I always want to be the center of attention. I want to own numerous companies that dominate the industry they sit in. I am willing to work as hard as I need to in order to obtain all of this. I have a 4.2 gpa with AP Classes, in addition to being multitalented in design, art, fashion, dancing, and more. This leads me to have a self-inflated image of myself where I consider myself to be more special and better than everyone else. I keep telling myself it is these traits that will lead to my fame and success. I am obsessed with success. If I do not achieve what I hope I will (fame, money, status, etc.) I will feel ashamed and feel like a complete failure. I will have failed my entire meaning to exist. I hate being under power. The only person I will ever love and accept being ruled by is God. I feel emotion, but not a lot of it. This pains me. When the closest person who I loved the most passed away, I had to force myself with all my might to muster a tear. I will forever hate myself for this. I wish I felt more emotion. I feel empathy for others but not as much as I know I should. All of this (everything I wrote above) every part of it makes me feel disgusting. I know it’s not right, but I don’t know how to fix it. I feel guilty, yet I will still chase it all in the end anyways, all while feeling guilty. The good: I want my brothers and parents to be just as successful. I want to spend massive amounts of money on the homeless and those in need. I love animals and women, and consider them to be the most innocent forms of life. I want to open numerous charities to help those in need. Please tell me what is wrong with me.

Cognitive distortion: All-or-nothing thinking
Distorted part: {'text': ['I am obsessed with success. If I do not achieve what I hope I will (fame, money, status, etc.) I will feel ashamed and feel like a complete failure.'], 'answer_start': [884]}
From the Phillippines: Well for over the years ive been obssesing with people and all of them were women, an older women, since i was a young teen. I dont know why i get obssesed with them maybe because i see them as a mother figure. Some of them took me years to finally get over it and others only just a short period of time. I admit it gave me hard times obaaesing these ladies. But this lady im currently obssesed with is much different from my pervious ones. And ive been obssesing her for already three months now and it really cause me an enormous distress and distractions.

Cognitive distortion: Magnification
Distorted part: {'text': ['And ive been obssesing her for already three months now and it really cause me an enormous distress and distractions.'], 'answer_start': [465]}
My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for just over a year now in an exclusive and loving relationship. We were once childhood sweethearts when we were 11 years old and lost touch mid teens only to reunite in May last year and instantly fell for each other. In the years we hadn’t been together he had dated a woman nearly 10 years older than him and she fell pregnant by accident – he was only 23. She made life unbearable for him during her pregnancy and broke it off with him. He kept the pregnancy a secret from his family and friends for months and came clean with his mother, with whom he has a good relationship, when the little girl was 6months old. The ex made it abundantly clear that she was prepared to let him be a part of their child’s life but as an arm’s length father. Or so the story goes.

Cognitive distortion: No Distortion
Distorted part: {'text': [''], 'answer_start': [-1]}
Hi, I have had OCD since I was 9 years old. I am 21 now, and fortunately it is much more controlled. However, when I was younger, I developed an intense paranoia of schizophrenia. I didn’t know that I had OCD until I was 19, so the whole time I thought that my weird thoughts were simply representative of a future schizophrenic outbreak. In high school I was a very paranoid person and I was always consumed by a pervasive fear that I was going crazy. This fear led me to pay an obsessive amount of attention to my weird thoughts, which led to further analysis of how I truly believed that I was going crazy. But now that I am aware of my mental condition, I have learned to control my anxieties better.

Cognitive distortion: Magnification
Distorted part: {'text': ['This fear led me to pay an obsessive amount of attention to my weird thoughts, which led to further analysis of how I truly believed that I was going crazy.'], 'answer_start': [453]}
I have to say that im not sad. i just think that the world is really annoying. i want all people to shut up and just stop making noise. i hope everyone is dead so the world will be quiet and i will feel comfortable. i really wanna kill people who always talk to me. and i also hope they dont move so they wont make any noise. is this normal? do i have to go to the hospital? i dont really want to. i guess its just because of the lack of sleep. i always want to sleep no matter how much i slept. i feel dizzy everyday and want to vomit nearly everyday. (im sure im not pregnant lol) i dont really feel full and i eat a lot. is this just because of high level of stress? not any kind of disease right? and also i cant fall asleep easily even though im tired and sleepy(im always tired) i cry but i dont really feel very very sad. i mean im a bit sad but not to a level that i have to cry i guess. im trying describe my situation as detail as possible so that you can define it accurately. :)

Cognitive distortion: Overgeneralization
Distorted part: {'text': ['i feel dizzy everyday and want to vomit nearly everyday.'], 'answer_start': [496]}
Someone needs to know the truth. Anybody at this point. I am in desperate need of help and guidance. I am struggling with addiction in a major way. In turn, I have not kept track of my bipolar at all and at this point don’t even know where I am at emotionally. Physically I am ill. I have flu. I vomit. I barely eat. I sometimes don’t know how I am surviving. But I am afraid. I am very afraid. If this goes on it might be too late before I even realize it and I do not want this to happen. I have been using cocaine almost on a daily basis for 2 months. (I relapsed)

Cognitive distortion: Fortune-telling
Distorted part: {'text': ['If this goes on it might be too late before I even realize it and I do not want this to happen.'], 'answer_start': [395]}
It seems to have come to pass that I have lost all ability to feel emotions, other than a certain amount of anxiety and self loathing. Also, the feelings that tend to flood over you unexpectedly, which I can recall, like waking up on a Sunday and feeling a rush of comfort being all tucked up in your bed when its raining outside, mystical feelings that you get sometimes walking through nature, kind of feeling the “vibe” of a room or when you’re in a crowd, any of those things that can’t necessarily be classified as emotion, but seem to be more of a spiritual connection between mankind and reality. Those beautiful buzzing feelings.

Cognitive distortion: Overgeneralization
Distorted part: {'text': ['It seems to have come to pass that I have lost all ability to feel emotions, other than a certain amount of anxiety and self loathing.'], 'answer_start': [0]}
From a teen in the U.S.: A few nights ago I was in my car near an overpass typing my letter to my family on my phone. I didn’t get out of my car, but i was coming close to it. I got it together and left and haven’t had any suicidal thoughts since then and have no intent of coming that close again.

Cognitive distortion: No Distortion
Distorted part: {'text': [''], 'answer_start': [-1]}
I lost my husband five months ago. Since then i have gone through massive lows and massive highs. Sometimes i am hyperactive and super happy, then a few days later i will collapse in a heap. I am drinking very heavily and i feel as though my coping and feelings are becoming worse. I have so many mixed emotions. I feel as though i have engaged in behaviours that were previously uncharacteristic to a degree, well at least now they are extreme compared to before. I have no idea how to move forward as i seem to be spiralling down a very dark road. I also witnessed and experienced a very painful slow death and was pretty much the sole carer. i wonder if i may have PTSD on top of everything else i am experiencing.

Cognitive distortion: All-or-nothing thinking
Distorted part: {'text': ['Since then i have gone through massive lows and massive highs. Sometimes i am hyperactive and super happy, then a few days later i will collapse in a heap.'], 'answer_start': [35]}
I am a Secondary school student and aged 16. Since past year, my everyday life was just like a nightmare. I always felt dizzy and headache, after I took panadol, I didn’t feel better at all. As well, I don’t want to eat the food that I love to eat before. I have no mood to eat.

Cognitive distortion: Overgeneralization
Distorted part: {'text': ['I always felt dizzy and headache, after I took panadol, I didn’t feel better at all.'], 'answer_start': [106]}
There isn’t the day I don’t think about dying or just disappearing. I feel so tired of everything and every nigh I’m wishing I would fall asleep and never wake up. At some point I had this «happy thoughts» that kept me going but now I don’t even have that. I just live, day to day, like some kind of zombie. I’m trying so hard to get at least one positive thought so I could continue living, but nothing. I live because it’s something I’m expected to do. No matter how much it hurts to wake up every morning and LIVE, they wont let me die. I would be selfish for leaving them like this. But isn’t it selfish from them to make me live although this thing called life suffocates me?

Cognitive distortion: Personalization
Distorted part: {'text': ['No matter how much it hurts to wake up every morning and LIVE, they wont let me die. I would be selfish for leaving them like this. But isn’t it selfish from them to make me live although this thing called life suffocates me?'], 'answer_start': [455]}
From the U.S.: I had chance when young to help myself but because of stigma in that day I chose not ,well I did for a year.Tthen parents after 16 years divorced. I have 3 sisters and brother so my mental health kinda got put to side while a bitter custudy battle ensued.

Cognitive distortion: No Distortion
Distorted part: {'text': [''], 'answer_start': [-1]}
My 10-year-old son has been repeatedly stealing. My husband and I have spoken about this with him several times. He always promises us that he will never ever do it again and that he has realised his mistake , but a couple weeks later he brings home something that is not his. He has so far been caught at a grocery store where he was forgiven, stole from me at home to buy few books. All our efforts have been futile. Today he bought home a couple of toys that he stole from his friends. We would like to take him to his teacher tomorrow and make him return the items, but fear that he will be socially scarred for life and worse, he may stoop in to do worse things for us exposing him to his freinds .. Please help. We are desperate parents and only want best for our child.

Cognitive distortion: Fortune-telling
Distorted part: {'text': ['We would like to take him to his teacher tomorrow and make him return the items, but fear that he will be socially scarred for life and worse, he may stoop in to do worse things for us exposing him to his freinds'], 'answer_start': [489]}
I am a 19-year-old female who has had a history of childhood trauma and depression and anxiety as well as a recovered anorexic. However, while I have managed all my other mental illnesses, there is still a very strong, pervasive feeling that I am living in the wrong lifetime. I do not feel as if I am in the wrong body gender-wise, but that I should not be alive right now and I should not be embarking on any of the career paths that I am. It is not that the career I have chosen is wrong, I feel more as if I switched lives with somebody (like Freaky Friday) and now I am simply not where I am meant to be. I cannot recognize myself when I look in a mirror and I have not been able to for as long as I can remember. Logically, I know it is myself but I don’t feel as if the person looking back is actually me. The same applies to looking at photos of myself, even if they are aesthetically pleasing. I also have no connection whatsoever with the name I was given. Is this pervasive depersonalization or derealization? Or do I simply have no sense of self? I have scoured the internet but have not been able to find anyone else with the same symptoms. Please, help.

Cognitive distortion: No Distortion
Distorted part: {'text': [''], 'answer_start': [-1]}
My heart stopped feeling and my life has not been the same since then. I am an 18-year-old girl. Earlier this year I broke up with my boyfriend that I was with since I was 14. This break up came as a great shock and I went through a lot of pain. Two months later my godson of only 10 months dies. His death hit me hard because he is the first close family member I’ve lost to death. He was my pillar of strength and the reason that I kept going even though I was broken into pieces so when he left everything changed. My heart shut down and I became spiritually confused. I haven’t cried in 5 months now and I don’t remember the last time I felt something genuinely. I hate who I’ve become even though in a way it saved me from any pain. How do I become okay again? And if I do will the feelings for my ex still be there because I never really got over him? And what happens if I’m stuck like this forever? (From Namibia, South Africa)

Cognitive distortion: Mental filter
Distorted part: {'text': ['Earlier this year I broke up with my boyfriend that I was with since I was 14. This break up came as a great shock and I went through a lot of pain. Two months later my godson of only 10 months dies. His death hit me hard because he is the first close family member I’ve lost to death. He was my pillar of strength and the reason that I kept going even though I was broken into pieces so when he left everything changed.'], 'answer_start': [97]}
I’m an only child, and have always been an introvert. For the most part I enjoy being by myself, but it can get really lonely at times. I have been in few relationships since my middleschool days, and most recently, a year long long distance relationship. She lives in California, me in Massachusetts. We just came to the conclusion that things cannot work out between us at this stage in our lives, being so far apart. She really dreads the distance and wants someone close by to constantly do things with, and who am I to deny her that? It would be selfish. I just want to throw in here that we did meet in person, twice, and it was the most amazing 10 days each visit, that I had ever spent with someone in a LONG time. There was no shyness involved even when I was meeting her for the first time as we had been constantly talking over the computer and phone for months.

Cognitive distortion: No Distortion
Distorted part: {'text': [''], 'answer_start': [-1]}
From the U.S.: Last October while out for the night on Halloween, my wife’s friend rubbed my butt with my wife across the table from me and immediately removed her hand and said sorry. The night went on with no other instances, but as we went home in a crowded bar, we said our goodbyes and our hands grabbed each other’s and I’m not entirely sure what that meant. Anyways, we have been around them a few times since and have not had an issue.

Cognitive distortion: No Distortion
Distorted part: {'text': [''], 'answer_start': [-1]}
From the UK: I’ve been smoking weed with my friends at least once a week for the past year. Recently though (past couple of months) I’ve been smoking almost everyday by myself. I know it’s out of hand and I’m trying to work on it. It doesn’t effect my life in an obvious sense – I still go to uni everyday and go work and do a good job and keep on top of my grades I even see my family once a week.

Cognitive distortion: Should statements
Distorted part: {'text': ['I know it’s out of hand and I’m trying to work on it.'], 'answer_start': [177]}
So, in early October of 2017 I was suffering from intrusive/homicidal thoughts. Basically, I wanted to shoot up my school. I told an ex-friend about it and now I regret it. I’m so afraid she’s going to tell my school or someone in general and the fear is ruining my life. To clarify, I do not have these thoughts or urges anymore. At the time I was extremely obsessed with school shootings (for example: columbine). I think it is what encouraged me to think these things but what also encouraged me is the fact that I hated myself. I’ve always been insecure. I have never been good enough and it caused me to want to take out my anger on others. My home life is good and I do not get bullied which makes me feel worse about having these thoughts. I feel selfish and stupid. A girl on Instagram even messaged me at one point, asking me if I wanted to participate in carrying out a school shooting and I said yes (I never went through with it and I told her no later on). I just felt like I had nothing to lose. I had anger towards myself which led me to have anger towards others. I regret ever having these thoughts and this haunts me every day. I feel like I’m carrying around this huge secret and it’s ruining me. I feel like if everyone knew they would resent me. This whole situation has also caused me to self-harm again after being clean for a while. I hate myself for ever wanting to hurt anyone. The pain I’ve felt from this is unbearable. I’ve thought about suicide but I’m determined to feel better. I want to forgive myself, forget, and move on. Your advice would be much appreciated. Thank you.

Cognitive distortion: Labeling
Distorted part: {'text': ['I feel selfish and stupid.'], 'answer_start': [747]}
Lately I haven’t been feeling like myself… It’s like I’m more depressed than I normally am. I have always had depression, ever since I was in 7th grade. I would deal with it by cutting myself, and I have been wanting to do it again for no reason. I have caused numerous scratches, not actual cuts. I’ve been battling with myself. I do not sleep much, and when I do sleep it is for at least 10 hours. I have also had a few suicide attempts in the past… And lately I keep thinking about them and remembering them. I don’t want to be around anyone, but then I do, but then I don’t again. When I’m around my friends I feel as though I’m not there. I’m just watching me from the inside, like I’m a soul in a machine. I keep on having nightmares, and dreams about places I’ve never been to… But then a few days later I’ll be at the place I dreamed about. I don’t what’s wrong with me… I was wondering if you could give me a suggestion on what I should do, or what is possibly wrong with me. I feel sick.

Cognitive distortion: Mental filter
Distorted part: {'text': ['I have also had a few suicide attempts in the past… And lately I keep thinking about them and remembering them.'], 'answer_start': [400]}
From Canada: My husband lied to me years ago and I just found out I have been married for about 4 years but together for 14. As I was browsing on our desktop computer looking for some old photos over the weekend I discovered photos from a work trip my husband went on about 8 years ago. These photos contained him and another women (selfies, dinner together and shopping). I was and am completely furious. I recall right after that trip as I saw some other photos of him with the exotic car he had rented and asked who took the pictures. He told me at that time he got people off the street to take the photos and I naively believed him.

Cognitive distortion: No Distortion
Distorted part: {'text': [''], 'answer_start': [-1]}
I’m 63-year-old male. I was abused physically and emotionally from a very young age by my father. He often whipped me with a thin pigskin belt as hard as he could while he screamed at me. When I cried he would whip me until I stopped crying. I remember the feeling of imploding when I had to do this. My mother tried to make him stop but he would lock us in the bathroom while the beating took place. I can still hear my mother screaming from the other side of the door for him to stop. When he didn’t whip me he called me names and told me I would never amount to anything. If I cried when he taunted me he would say they were “crocodile tears and didn’t mean anything.” My father died when I was 11 and as much as anything I felt relief.

Cognitive distortion: No Distortion
Distorted part: {'text': [''], 'answer_start': [-1]}
My girlfriend and I relocated together to California and, as I got a great job, she said she could work from anywhere with her job, as it is commission based. In the last 3 years, she has not been able to contribute to the expenses for anything. She does cook every night for my 2 sons, does the shopping and some lite cleaning. I have asked her to get a job, and even got to the point of telling her to get a job, and she will look for a week, and then give up. We have had to move 4 times, I lost my car, my credit is shot, I live in a small apartment now, and she is working for her commission job, but not making any money! She just won’t look for a job that pays regularly. Then her sister moved in with us on a temporary note, and now she is going to have to have her sister move in with us because her sister is sick and can no longer take care of herself.

Cognitive distortion: No Distortion
Distorted part: {'text': [''], 'answer_start': [-1]}