Anonymous-EmpathyAI/Distortion-Analysis-PACLIC39 huggingface dataset:
Through mental health treatment, I’m being told that what’s been my reality for the last 10 years or so is not reality. I don’t really know how to cope with this. It’s making me question literally everything, and I feel completely overwhelmed about learning what’s real and what isn’t. How do I deal with this?

Cognitive distortion: No Distortion
Distorted part: {'text': [''], 'answer_start': [-1]}
I get a hungry feeling when I think of murder. The blood, the meat, it fascinates me. I’m always thinking of the kill. I’ve never done it though. But I’ve done horrible things that are illegal, cheated on tests, lied and had sex with other women while having a girlfriend, etc. I know I’m insane, nothing will change the psychopathy in my deranged soul. But I’d like to know why I want to shoot people, even children. I was bullied a lot in school though. Maybe that’s it?

Cognitive distortion: All-or-nothing thinking
Distorted part: {'text': ['I know I’m insane, nothing will change the psychopathy in my deranged soul. '], 'answer_start': [278]}
From a teen in the U.S.: For months, I have been having thoughts that I am going to kill myself or my family. I am afraid that I am a killer and not a good person, and this has made me want to kill myself to avoid hurting someone else. I have been diagnosed with OCD, specifically harm OCD, but I’m just having trouble believing that I’m not just an awful person. I never actually want to hurt anyone, but there are times when I feel like I have to, like my brain is telling me that it has to and is going to happen. I feel out of control.

Cognitive distortion: No Distortion
Distorted part: {'text': [''], 'answer_start': [-1]}
My father has always had issues with drugs, drinking, and anger issues. All three together are just toxic. He is fine, fine, fine – for weeks/months – then will decide he doesn’t need his meds (for his anger problems) and go off them. Within a day, he is a raging lunatic. Screaming, yelling, hitting my mother, breaking doors, snapping his cell phone in half, kicking the dogs. Recently he started cheating on my mother as well, he keeps denying it even though he has been caught. He is driving while extremely drunk, ignoring all calls, and coming home from work 5-6 hours late.

Cognitive distortion: No Distortion
Distorted part: {'text': [''], 'answer_start': [-1]}
From Ireland: Sometimes I don’t know how I’m feeling and cut myself. Whenever I cut I don’t go deep at all. I barely cut the surface and I doesn’t even really leave any scars… lately I’ve been punching my arms and leaving these bruises. I’m close with my mum but no I don’t want to tell her. I don’t even know what I’m thinking or what’s wrong so what’s the point, I don’t want to cause any trouble and don’t want anyone to know. My parents can get quite strict and I don’t want to tell any of my friends because they would tell a teacher or my parents and that’s just not what I want. I get in such bad moods and get quite tired and just want it to stop and I think that could be one of the reasons I self harm. I also find my past relationship with my dad and brothers to upset me even thought we get along well now, id say we are quite a vocal and physical family went things get heated sometimes I just feel trapped. Wow I don’t think I’ve ever even looked for advice before so I guess this is a start.

Cognitive distortion: Mind Reading
Distorted part: {'text': ['My parents can get quite strict and I don’t want to tell any of my friends because they would tell a teacher or my parents and that’s just not what I want. '], 'answer_start': [430]}
From Netherlands: Our beloved daughter committed suicide at age 20 on 9 September 2014. She was a brilliant student but had difficulties with her studies and holding friends. She was depressed and liked to be home with us her parents and sister. She was diagnosed with autism or schizoid. She decided not to be treated. She could never express her feelings, she said she could not feel. She took pills and left us on 9 September 2014.

Cognitive distortion: No Distortion
Distorted part: {'text': [''], 'answer_start': [-1]}
My boyfriend and I have been living together for almost a year. I know that he is the man that I am going to spend my life with and I have no doubts about that. We live in his home with his parents and because they are not working we completely support them and pay for everything. His mom has a multitude of health issues and is in her 50s she hasn’t worked in over 20 years. His dad is 46 and stopped working after hurting his knee at work when my boyfriend was 18. Since then my boyfriend has been supporting them completely. My boyfriend is a caring and loving man and his parents take advantage of him. They are not appreciative and always expect him to provide them with whatever they want—his dad in particular. At first when I moved in things were okay but recently it has been very hard. His parents both smoke in the house and no matter how many times we talk to them about it, it continues. They are constantly in our business and wanting us to run and get them things. Recently his dad came into a decent amount of money and with that money he was supposed to buy a vehicle, he did not. Instead his dad takes my car almost everyday and is gone until it’s time for me to go to work which just leaves me sitting at home. I want so badly to move out and have our own place just me and my boyfriend. But we cannot afford to pay for our own place and a place for his parents. My boyfriend is completely unwilling to wean his parents off of his support and I fear that we are going to be stuck living in the same home with them forever. We are only 25 and it feels like we are never going to have the chance to have our own family. I get so angry because his father is mostly just lazy and unwilling to work and would rather just have his son take care of him forever. He has the attitude of an unable elderly man when in actuality he is younger than my parents who both work. My dad had the same knee injury as him and got it fixed then went back to work. He didn’t forever stay “disabled” and expect me to take care of him. It’s beginning to feel impossible living with them and I am so depressed and discouraged. I sit in my room all day long and avoid his parents because I feel uncomfortable and when I hear them complaining it makes me angry. Am I crazy for thinking we deserve a life of our own? And am I selfish for thinking that if we just moved his parents would figure it out? They aren’t children, they’re adults and I’m getting really tired of caring for them like children and everyone I bring this up to my boyfriend he makes excuses for them and dismisses my feelings and just says he’s sorry but that’s just how it is. I can’t take it anymore. I need advice. Please. Thank you.

Cognitive distortion: No Distortion
Distorted part: {'text': [''], 'answer_start': [-1]}
My 13 year old son has been before diagnosed with GAD, but recently he has been very depressed for most of the time, and only ever showing signs of happiness when he has food or toys. He spends most of his time alone, but his grades are fine. He never really wants to leave the house, and he never wants to socialize with his friends anymore. 2 years ago he switched to a private school for middle school, and we thought smaller classes would be better for him participating, but he is now detached from all his friends. Also, he gets very angry for no reason at me or my husband or people that have not directly done anything to harm him. He can get angry from the slightest thing. He seems to have trouble sleeping, and he says it is from thinking of something really said or worrying, and he cannot stop thinking about it. Girls do not hang out with him, but with many of the richer more popular boys, they like. He used to love doing a lot of things that he does not find enjoyment in anymore, and he doesn’t play sports. Many of the other kids make fun of him for being a nerd. He is mainly alone at school, and he stays away from the only people that he is friendly with because they can be fun when he is happy, but if he is sad, or angry, they drive him crazy. What can I do to help him?

Cognitive distortion: Mental filter
Distorted part: {'text': ['Also, he gets very angry for no reason at me or my husband or people that have not directly done anything to harm him. He can get angry from the slightest thing. He seems to have trouble sleeping, and he says it is from thinking of something really said or worrying, and he cannot stop thinking about it. Girls do not hang out with him, but with many of the richer more popular boys, they like. '], 'answer_start': [521]}
From Switzerland: My story began in 1999 at the age of 29, when I was diagnosed with depression and agoraphobia. In the years between now and then I struggled with various prescriptions. The „protagonist“ was always a SSRI. I tested around six of them. Then of course after the severe anxieties and panic attacks they gave me bezodiazepine Lorazepam (named Temesta), where soon I was addicted to and still am.

Cognitive distortion: No Distortion
Distorted part: {'text': [''], 'answer_start': [-1]}
When I was in the 8th grade around age 13-14, I was diagnosed with psychotic depression. Symptoms included hearing voices (inside my head, not outside), occasional visual hallucinations, self-injury and suicidal ideation. Each voice had a name and their own personality, and not all of the voices were negative. They interacted with each other and also with me. I was put on a high dose of risperidone and symptoms began to decrease, and I stopped seeing a psychiatrist. I am now 17 years old, and recently, I’ve been having inner dialogue going on between my own consciousness and two voices that are not created consciously by me. I am female and they are both male. One is the same age as me and one is around 19 or 20 and they both have their own names and personalities, similar to what I experienced when I was younger. Now, however, I’m noticing that I’m becoming more and more forgetful of what I’ve done and sometimes what I’m in the process of doing. For instance I’ve received classwork and exams handed back to me with my name on it that are written in different handwriting that I don’t remember doing. My friends will ask me if I remember something we talked about yesterday or even earlier the same day and I won’t recall what they’re talking about. Sometimes I’ll be in the middle of doing something and I suddenly forget what I was doing and have to ask my friend what I was just talking about. However, at times, one of the voices will say “Oh yeah I remember that!” or they’ll say “we were in the middle of doing this,” most of the time being correct. I’m concerned and confused about what’s been going on. I’m not sure if I’m having another psychotic episode and I’m delusional or if I might have signs of DID. I know I should go back to my psychiatrist either way, but what do you think this could be?

Cognitive distortion: Emotional Reasoning
Distorted part: {'text': ['One is the same age as me and one is around 19 or 20 and they both have their own names and personalities, similar to what I experienced when I was younger. Now, however, I’m noticing that I’m becoming more and more forgetful of what I’ve done and sometimes what I’m in the process of doing.'], 'answer_start': [669]}
From New Zealand: There’s this boy I met only last year like in December? We had a thing but that was it I had no further feelings for him but that didn’t stop him from stalking me and telling everyone that we go out. It may not sound like a big issue but to me it is. Its gotten to the point where he would call me on different phone numbers which I’ve blocked but somehow he finds a way to get in contact with me still. I’m scared to report this and I hope that this can stay anonymous until something major actually happens. Which I don’t think he is capable of doing but is so then ill make the call. He’s also been telling my close boy mates bad things about me which I don’t like and is making me lose contact with them, like I knew them way before he ever did and they were the only people I could actually trust and now that he’s taken my friends away from me I don’t know who else I can talk to beside this website. This is the first time I’ve done this so if I don’t get a reply I understand but this boy is still obsessed with me and I’m sick of it he’s creepy and a weirdo. I’ve tried talking to him but he just won’t listen to me or anything I say to him. I’m also scared to tell my parents because I don’t want them to worry much, because then they might go to my school and then it’ll become a big issue which I don’t want. Please reply to this. Thank you.

Cognitive distortion: Mind Reading
Distorted part: {'text': [' I’m also scared to tell my parents because I don’t want them to worry much, because then they might go to my school and then it’ll become a big issue which I don’t want.'], 'answer_start': [1169]}
From the U.S.: I started to write my life story but then realized it would take 10 pages so I will try to sum it up best I can. I had a really bad childhood full of neglect , abuse, abandonment and family mental illnesses. I always had anxiety as a child but was able to mask it as I thought people would think there was something wrong with me.

Cognitive distortion: Mental filter
Distorted part: {'text': ['I had a really bad childhood full of neglect , abuse, abandonment and family mental illnesses. I always had anxiety as a child but was able to mask it as I thought people would think there was something wrong with me.'], 'answer_start': [128]}
From the U.S.: I have been with my current boyfriend for about 2 years now. I had known him since freshman year and we always had a little crush on each other. However, I was on and off with an ex of mine for about two years. This ex of mine was very controlling and was very possessive of me and we would always break up but then get back together again. The longest we have stayed together was about a month.

Cognitive distortion: No Distortion
Distorted part: {'text': [''], 'answer_start': [-1]}
A couple years ago I spoke to my doctor about the emotional state that I expressed was over because I didn’t want to admit it was current, and he said that most likely I had experienced depression. At the time I honestly believed it would go away however it has only gotten much worse over the past three years. Last year was a hard year for my entire family including death, divorce, and my sister’s diagnosis with a psychosis. Even before her time in the mental hospital, my parent’s drinking had gotten far out of hand and my mom was gambling more than ever. Recently they have tried to fix things, but meanwhile I’m feeling worse and have more and more nearly swallowing a bottle of sleeping pills experiences every week, and I pretty much don’t even have a relationship with my parents anymore. My drinking is getting more and more frequent as well, and I just keep floating farther and farther away from who i used to be, I’m pretty much floating above this robot barely going through every day. However, I don’t trust or am able to rely on either of my parents to handle any of this, as they are very unstable. But I need help, and I’m only fourteen. I can’t rely on the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline anymore, nor can vodka help me anymore than it already does. How can I get help without destroying my parent’s lives? (age 14, from US)

Cognitive distortion: No Distortion
Distorted part: {'text': [''], 'answer_start': [-1]}
Moved to another state left everything for my son who moved here bf me. He lives with dad and stepmom. Been a nightmare since I moved here. Now I have no job, no money, no family support. My friend back home said he’ll get me home, he sends money and not a plane or bus ticket. I’m so sad and hurt, haven’t caused issues for the ex and his new wife, just wanted to be here for my son’s senior year. I cry everyday! (age 44, from US)

Cognitive distortion: Mental filter
Distorted part: {'text': ['Been a nightmare since I moved here. '], 'answer_start': [103]}
It has been around 1.5 years since we were in relationship. The decision was the result of his persistent efforts to help me at working every situation (we were in the same college and office too). Though he is not good at looks, a silent type of guy(unlike me), I considered him for hope for his improved life because of me,his nice family(As he told) and his nature. In the beginning, things were awesome, we used to roam across the city, visit temples, and be happy wherever we would go. But since 2-3 months, I began to feel, things have turned dull, because after knowing each other, we have nothing to discuss, sometimes, he doesn’t say a single work for minutes on phone. And when I complain, he says that silence speaks more than words, and he is happy with me. But this dullness and boredom made me depressed many times, specially the fact that he is suffering from many illnesses like dryness, obesity, very poor eyesight which I thought he would be enthusiastic to cure for me,but he didn’t try to make the things normal for me either. I was even worried to find his hair slowly falling out.All the day, I would keep worrying about all these problems, which would give me butterflies. Once I even felt bad when I found him giving more importance to his friends and telling me that it’s because I keep complaining to him about everything, he feels alone, and then he looks for friends. this made me feel even worse specially when he doesn’t call me when he is with them. Finally, time came when I told my parents about him. I called him home. My parents accepted him only for me, but also complained about his too silent nature, because sometimes, you need to speak.

Cognitive distortion: Mental filter
Distorted part: {'text': ['All the day, I would keep worrying about all these problems, which would give me butterflies.'], 'answer_start': [1102]}
I met a my best friend when I was 16 and we started dreaming of doing amazing things. We decided to go to France after highschool (we were 18) and study robotics and then later on founded an NGO about education. I have so much fun learning on my spare time with him all about robotics, and child psychology, how to create workshops to teach children about technology at a young age. All was good except my studies. I never graduated from my associate degree in mechanical engineering and that’s when the lying started. I lied to my family back home in Morocco and I’ve been lying to him. I told everyone that I graduated and that I was enrolled in a Masters of engineering. Trouble came when I had to apply for a renewal to my residence permit in France. I couldn’t provide grade reports so I was refused the stay and had to go back home. That’s when I told my best friend the truth. My mum found out after I got home. The problem now is that there are still people (friends) in my life that I’m still lying to. I’m currently enrolled in an engineering degree in Morocco (after 2 years of only focusing on creating the NGO I mentioned and working with my best friend who didn’t give up on me and slowly got me out of my little depression). How did I let things get to such a bad outcome? I don’t know. I suffer from a serious case of laziness and inconsistency. I know I have the potential to do great things, I still get involved in too much endeavors but I can’t produce results. I still don’t know why. The why that made me lie to my friends and family because it would be a shock to them that i didn’t succeed. I don’t know to extract myself from all this. I really don’t. Help me, doctor.

Cognitive distortion: Labeling
Distorted part: {'text': ['How did I let things get to such a bad outcome? I don’t know. I suffer from a serious case of laziness and inconsistency. I know I have the potential to do great things, I still get involved in too much '], 'answer_start': [1240]}
I’m feel like there is something seriously wrong with my head and I just don’t know what it is? I’ve researched a lot of different mental disorders and I can relate to a lot of the symptoms of so many of them. When I was in 4th grade I was diagnosed with ADD and I’ve have had on and off depression, disordered eating habits, and anxiety since then but I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety 3 months ago. Lately I have been feeling very disconnected and can’t stop zoning out, when I’m not zoned out my vision is distorted. Everything looks like its shifting, breathing, certain things pop out a lot, and when I read text it waves and spirals into itself. Sometimes when I walk I feel the curve of the earth and everything to the side of me looks downhill. Kind of like tripping but not. I did do LSD twice about 5 months ago but I’ve only been experiencing these symptoms for 2 or 3 months so it’s not because of the acid. I question reality and get confused about the concept of time and sometimes I completely forget who I am. Also been having bad insomnia and strange sleep patterns. I’ve been impulsive and doing things that I regret later; smoking a lot more than usual, drinking all the time and trying other harder drugs like Xanax and coke(once) but thats weird for me because I’ve always thought of myself as weed only. I’ve also been hooking up with a lot more guys which is weird for me because I’ve always been kind of afraid of and have never been in a relationship and am very self conscious but I keep hooking up with guys I don’t care about. I also just really hate my personality. I try to seem unique but really I have no personality, I’ m nothing but a bunch of stolen identities. When I ask someone to hang out and they can’t I get extremely hurt by that to the point of tears and think that everyone thinks I’m annoying and that girl that I think is cool and I wish people could see me the same way as people see her knows that I’m copying her. Sometimes I’m afraid to go on the deck because I think I can’t control myself and I might jump off.

Cognitive distortion: Labeling
Distorted part: {'text': ['I’ve been impulsive and doing things that I regret later; smoking a lot more than usual, drinking all the time and trying other harder drugs like Xanax and coke(once) but thats weird for me because I’ve always thought of myself as weed only. I’ve also been hooking up with a lot more guys which is weird for me because I’ve always been kind of afraid of and have never been in a relationship and am very self conscious but I keep hooking up with guys I don’t care about.'], 'answer_start': [1094]}
My fiance and I have been together for 4 years. About a year into our relationship I had to take a break from it because I had a history of violent sexual abuse that I had to get help for and our relationship was hard for me to participate in during that time. About 3 months into our break we started going out on dates and working toward getting back to normal, but we were not officially together. During this time of dating and him pursuing me he had sex with another girl. 3 years passed and he never told me about the incident — since that happened we had moved in together and he asked me to marry him. I recently found out about the sex because he left his email logged on to my computer and he was emailing her an apology for his poor behavior with her. This is the first time he has been physical with another girl, but during other parts of our relationship I have caught him sexting his ex and at one point I found him texting one of his peers at school telling her that he didn’t get enough attention from me and he wanted to kiss her and see if she was the thing missing from his life. I don’t know how to proceed with him. I love him very much and our wedding is in 2 years but I’m not sure after all of this if it is even worth the work it will be to fix our relationship. So should we work it out or should throw in the towel?

Cognitive distortion: No Distortion
Distorted part: {'text': [''], 'answer_start': [-1]}