Anonymous-EmpathyAI/Distortion-Analysis-PACLIC39 huggingface dataset:
From India: My parents have subjected me to physical harassment ever since I can remember. They tell me they love me and care about me but they continue to do so. I’m about to enter college and this hasn’t stopped. What makes it worse is that I am a girl. I was dealing with it until the other day my mom pulled me by my shirt almost that I choked and led me to my room where my dad was present. I tried to escape but my dad pulled me by my legs several times that my body aches still. I tried to get out but he tried to remove my clothes all while my mom was still present. I don’t understand what to do. There is no one in my house who still loves me anymore. I stopped eating and no one even came to check on me. I did have suicidal thoughts before but then I realized it’s my life and I can’t let other people control me. I don’t understand what triggered the outburst. I was in my room just doing my own thing. This has to stop. I am just like any other human and feel that I deserve love. Have a sibling and I love him. But this whole thing has put me in a bad light. I desperately want to leave the house but I’m not an adult and do not have the financial requirements. After a few days I am sure my parents will come and console me but nothing will ever erase this whole situation, which I’m sure ill never, forget. It’s becoming increasingly hard to live in this place. I don’t have that many friends either. I don’t think this will ever stop. No one believes that my parents are wrong. There was a time when I would silently take all the beatings. But now that I’m older I started to hit back. I deeply regret it but I don’t want anyone to think that they could get away with tormenting me. I’d hate to grow up and be such a bad example to my kids. This year wasn’t that great in terms of my grades and that caused my parents to resent me even more.

Cognitive distortion: Fortune-telling
Distorted part: {'text': ['I don’t think this will ever stop. '], 'answer_start': [1418]}
I’m sure it’s strange to see a 15 year old on this website. As of right now, I am questioning if I should seek a professional to see if I may have illness. The trauma may have not been physical, but it hurt nonetheless. About a year and a half ago I had some trouble with my 2 “friends”. One was notorious for talking about me behind my back and the other would bend me to her will and ignore my demands (in a way I was trapped in the friendship.) After a while I had the 2 meet each other. That is when it went down hill. Within a month they began to ignore me, and this hurt, as they where both close friends. I would outcry to be included once more, and they would put me down. I felt invalid and unloved, and one day, I came to realize this was true. I asked one how they truly felt about me, all these years… only to be told that I was annoying and was given a rude remark on the relationships I’ve been in. I went crazy, and I now notice this was a panic attack. Then another bombshell; the other friend began to ignore me, and when I asked the other friend if they where ignoring them as well, they said yes. Only an hour later did I send the friend a message while the other was streaming, only to see ” __ messaged me again..”. I felt my heart crush under unbearable weight, and it is burned in my mind. after 2 months, I quietly cut ties with one, and after overcoming my fears, cut ties with the other. At that time, I had a 3 hour long panic attack. 2 months later I found myself in an abusive relationship. They intervened once more, teaming up on me on my social media, their intent to kill me. During these events as a whole, I practiced self harm and had suicidal thoughts. I thought it was all my fault, even if I’d been told it wasn’t. I would like to know if this may have caused PTSD. I am still having flashbacks and panic attacks, as well as hypersensitivity. The symptoms are getting worse. I feel the sting every day. I’ve seen symptoms of it online and I match all of them, it’s scary. (age 15, from US)

Cognitive distortion: Labeling
Distorted part: {'text': ['I felt invalid and unloved, and one day, I came to realize this was true. '], 'answer_start': [681]}
From the U.S.: For the past few years, I have dealt with increasing anxiety and depression… Lately, it has turned into OCD characterized by intrusive thoughts of guilt and shame over many things. I have often wondered if there is a memory that I have long-suppressed from my childhood that has been a root cause for my issues. Until tonight, I had never been able to recall anything significant at all.

Cognitive distortion: Personalization
Distorted part: {'text': ['Lately, it has turned into OCD characterized by intrusive thoughts of guilt and shame over many things. I have often wondered if there is a memory that I have long-suppressed from my childhood that has been a root cause for my issues.'], 'answer_start': [92]}
I’m in my 30’s with an adult child whose out of the house, so I’m no youngster, but I recently met a man I’m attracted to who happens to be 23 years my senior. We met via a writer’s group. Both of us have published works and neither of us were impressed with the format or quality of feedback from the group. I don’t remember how it happened, but I ended up with his contact information. After a few emails I invited him to another writers group. He accepted and has been attending, so we see each other twice a month and usually linger after the meeting to chat before heading home.

Cognitive distortion: No Distortion
Distorted part: {'text': [''], 'answer_start': [-1]}
From Canada: I am 17 my brother is 20. As a young child he was a momma’s boy and very kind but he did have anger which was seen as normal. But looking back at his anger, it was there from a young age (from my view anyway) as time went on his anger got worse.

Cognitive distortion: No Distortion
Distorted part: {'text': [''], 'answer_start': [-1]}
To sum things up, I haven’t had therapy since I was a child. Im terrified to seek help, but lately the thoughts and impulses scare my safety and others. I idealize a lot of things socially unacceptable, my only confidant said if I were to act or attempt such things they would have to turn me in. I have a hard time knowing whats real pr not, and if others are out to get me. Ive been suicidal n self mutilate my entire life, Ive almost lost it a few times. In 2013 I tried to seek help, I think I was suffering PTSD. After wanting me in group therapy I ran and never went back. I also have substance abuse problems, Im irrational and impulsive, and making common decisions is difficult. I shake constantly, always weak but sometimes feel invincible. I may be anemic but nothing confirms it. I sometimes see things that aren’t there but rarely. I dont like people by any means, nor do I have much empathy. To keep my relationships okay sometimes I fake or overly act certain emotions I know I should have. I crave power and glory, to a point it should be a concern, yet sometimes lack motivation? I know I have experienced depression on many,many occasions. There’s things I’d like to do but I know I never could. I’ve been anticipating a major breakdown for about 8 from suppression, hiding, and faking. Ive had a great deal of tragedies, sexual abuse, abandonment, various suicides. I saved a friend once as a teen, I cut myself fairly bad, but I succeeded in taking the box cutter away after he cut his wrists, throat, and tried to stab his stomach. It plays out in my dreams like I remember, when I awake many things I’ve suppressed flood my head. Overall though the things I want to do, the things I find acceptable etc. thats what is scaring me, also that I can’t remember things.. I guess all of it. The thought of seeking actual help, I know what I feel isn’t normal, but I fear what will become of me or my family if I go and completely honest.

Cognitive distortion: Labeling
Distorted part: {'text': ['I also have substance abuse problems, Im irrational and impulsive, and making common decisions is difficult. '], 'answer_start': [579]}
From England: I don’t mean to be and I desperately want to stop. Please help me. I am absolutely horrified and hate myself so much because I that I lie about some things that are serious and many other minor things (not to do with anyone else but myself) and I don’t know why I do it, I don’t do it on purpose, I don’t mean to – it just comes out somehow automatically before I can stop myself, it always has done and I desperately want to stop and don’t want to hurt anyone. I don’t think anyone in the world would hate or judge me more than I do myself and deservedly so. I think I have done it since late childhood. Please help me. I was sexually abused as a child and grew up in a very dysfunctional family where my mum had a ‘nervous breakdown’ when I was about 7 and again at 9. She was/is also very agoraphobic. I and didn’t tell anyone about my abuse until well into my thirties. My ex-husband left me when my children were 5 & 3 and I never remarried and never want to. Please, please help. I don’t know where else to turn. Thank you.

Cognitive distortion: Personalization
Distorted part: {'text': ['I don’t think anyone in the world would hate or judge me more than I do myself and deservedly so.'], 'answer_start': [476]}
I used to be really social. I had a lot of friends and didn’t mind talking to other people. It was easy for me to socialize but a couple years ago I started to get the feeling that I wasn’t real, like I’m in a dream kind of state. This only happened once or twice a month and I could easily get the thought out of my head. Now this happens every day and I have been admitted to 3 hospitals THIS YEAR. I feel like I’m not actually here. I feel like a zombie just kind of walking through life. Im afraid to talk to people and when I’m around people I feel like my soul leaves my body and I start having an “episode”, where I freak out and feel like I’m literally going to die. I’m so scared all the time because I dwell on the thought of “am I actually alive or not?”. I’m so irritable all the time, just my family talking to me makes me angry. I’m always paranoid and always feel like I’m being watched, even when I’m alone. These thoughts of not being real have made me freak out so bad that I literally hyperventilated and passed out. I’ve tried to smoke weed to calm myself down but that just makes me freak out even worse. I don’t know what’s wrong with me and I’m so scared. Someone please help!

Cognitive distortion: Fortune-telling
Distorted part: {'text': ['Im afraid to talk to people and when I’m around people I feel like my soul leaves my body and I start having an “episode”, where I freak out and feel like I’m literally going to die. '], 'answer_start': [492]}
I have come a long way since 2008 when I had a complete mental health breakdown. I have finally gotten control over my action. I am winning my daily battle more almost all the time, or I was. I lost everything in 2008 including the ability to control my actions, for years my emotions ran everything. I didn’t want to hurt anyone. I hate taking medication but I was begging for anything that might help, only to be told I would be on so many pills I wouldn’t know whether I was coming or going. So I closed myself away from the world for fear I would react to anything in a negative way. I wanted to give up, but couldn’t. I tried everything available to me in town and in cities I knew well so would not put any more stress on myself then I had already by forcing myself to go to theses places. That went on for years I would force myself to leave my home go to wherever my new hope for help was but nothing worked. I left my home less and less scared of what I might do. T hen 3 and a half years ago something changed. I was starting win more and more. I had no help no support but the strength that I lost in 2008 was coming back. I struggled yeah but I was doing it. My life was getting better. Soon I felt strong enough to work. However I was turned down every single time. I was still winning my battle for control over my actions and thoughts but I did give up hope of having a job and moving out of a town that is for me toxic.

Cognitive distortion: Overgeneralization
Distorted part: {'text': ['I lost everything in 2008 including the ability to control my actions, for years my emotions ran everything.'], 'answer_start': [192]}
From the U.S.: My father’s mental health has been deteriorating lately. No one in the family talks to him except me and my little sister (10). He went from this quiet guy when I was growing up to someone who isn’t afraid to voice his opinion. Which wouldn’t be so bad, if his opinion made sense. He has this obsession with rhyming all the time. He thinks it’s funny. It’s not. And he does it all the time. He thinks its so good, it’ll be the hottest thing to hit Vegas. For Example: (If you don’t read all of it, I don’t blame you.)

Cognitive distortion: No Distortion
Distorted part: {'text': [''], 'answer_start': [-1]}
For my entire life I have had to deal with anxiety, and because of this I’ve always had a hard time making friends and opening up to people. Things that have happened in my past does not help this. For about a year now I have gotten very close to my now best friend. I go to her house a lot and spend the night often. Lately we have been staying up late, and have been talking about our emotions and things that are bothering us. I don’t know how to talk about how I feel or how to put my feelings into words. So when we talk it is mostly her talking and me listening. I want to be able to rant to her or to just be able to tell her whats wrong with me when I’m upset. The thing is I never know how to put it into words or how to explain it in the slightest. When I get face to face with people my mind just kind of goes blank. Would you have any advice for me? Thank you for taking the time to read this :)

Cognitive distortion: No Distortion
Distorted part: {'text': [''], 'answer_start': [-1]}
At first I divided them into two categories, the sedating ones that left me a zombie and the agitating ones that made me aggressive and gave my violent thoughts. I think I’ve been on 10-12 of them, including all of the standards. In trying the zoloft for a month I noticed that it started sedating but evolved into aggression, so the two categories might just be one with different timing. Now, I find myself in a situation where my GP is accusing me of faking the reactions. Is there a test I can insist on to validate my views? An expert I can ask her to talk to? Also, she’s been minimizing the effects of things and now the insurance company is using her notes against me to kick me off LTD. Currently, I’m on wellbutrin, because we have to do something and the dogma of the protocol requires that I take an SSRI. I’ll try to keep the emotional out of this, but I am quite demoralized now. In the last appointment my GP asked me if I was suicidal and I went off on her pointing out that she was only asking to cover her own ass and that I knew if I said yes it would mean her calling an ehs crew to come and restrain me (the one thing that I’d told her earlier would make me violent).

Cognitive distortion: Mind Reading
Distorted part: {'text': ['In the last appointment my GP asked me if I was suicidal and I went off on her pointing out that she was only asking to cover her own ass and that I knew if I said yes it would mean her calling an ehs crew to come and restrain me (the one thing that I’d told her earlier would make me violent).'], 'answer_start': [894]}
My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year now, we usually communicate our feelings and are very respectful of each other. In May, my bf started talking to a girl who had previously had feelings for before we started dating, because he felt as if he left her behind without clearing things up. I didn’t think much of it until he gave her a ride home and let her stay at his house while she was locked out of hers. I know he wasn’t cheating because his mom and sister were in the kitchen with them, but this was the first time he didn’t let me know what was going on. I later found out that for a little over a week he had been saying he was “going to sleep” and would hang up only to go FaceTime this girl and talk to her for hours after 11pm. He wasn’t even honest with everything at first until I questioned why he had deleted their conversation from his phone and I saw the facetimes in his call log. It took him about an hour to finally tell me everything that happened, I was considering breaking up since I had felt so betrayed. He knew he was supposed to be honest and never lie again, but he did it again about two weeks ago. He told me he was texting a friend of mine about their common interest in music and I was okay and happy he was honest. I hung up with him around 2am and told him to sleep soon because we had a date planned for early the next morning. I hung out with that friend a couple days later and she told me that they had stayed up until 4am texting and that he told her not to tell me. I confronted him, he admitted and said he was planning on telling me that night. He had once again deleted their conversation and I had to get it from her, btw she didn’t send me the important parts so I am no longer friends with her. And once again he has lied, again nothing huge, but he said he would send me pics of his food while on vaca. He has been gone a week and nothing, I keep pestering him for them and he said he sent one of his dessert. I knew something was shady so I confronted him and told him not to lie, but he proceeded to and was going to fake the whole thing FOR A PICTURE. I don’t know what to do because he hasn’t stopped, how will I know he really will when he says so if it hasn’t been true so far. I don’t want to lose our relationship, but I have told him I am not going to date someone who won’t stop lying to me.

Cognitive distortion: Mind Reading
Distorted part: {'text': ['I knew something was shady so I confronted him and told him not to lie, but he proceeded to and was going to fake the whole thing FOR A PICTURE.'], 'answer_start': [1974]}
I Need to prove myself to myself. I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression for over a decade, since I was 13. Through college I went through five majors and the one I graduated with I hated by the end. I began graduate school because I put in all the work in undergrad and my parents wanted me to try grad school. I dropped out before the first semester was over. I work in an unrelated field, making just enough to live on.

Cognitive distortion: No Distortion
Distorted part: {'text': [''], 'answer_start': [-1]}
From England: I have a good job that I (kinda) enjoy but recently I feel like everyone that I work with is waiting for me to mess up. I don’t have much confidence in myself as it and always feel like everyone is judging me. When I am doing good and I feel like I’ve achieved something someone always tell me that it was wrong or I did a rubbish job and then I feel really bad and sad.

Cognitive distortion: Mind Reading
Distorted part: {'text': ['I have a good job that I (kinda) enjoy but recently I feel like everyone that I work with is waiting for me to mess up. I don’t have much confidence in myself as it and always feel like everyone is judging me.'], 'answer_start': [14]}
I have absolutely nothing to live for. I have been suffering from major depression and have been attempting suicide since I was very young (only went to the hospital once for injecting bleach). As advised I have sought professional help and tried to do what makes me happy and want to live. It turns out nothing worked. Professionals can’t help me since medication has little to no effect on me, and the things I thought I was passionate about (making manga, YouTube videos) don’t make me happy at all, they feel like such a chore and I get no thrill from it. I have no interest in friends and I never had a lover. I am crippled by loneliness. Mainly because my behaviors are antisocial and disgusting.Throughout my daily life I rarely demonstrate emotions, and the emotions I demonstrate are either sadness and self-pity, or uncontrollable wrath.

Cognitive distortion: Personalization
Distorted part: {'text': ['I am crippled by loneliness. Mainly because my behaviors are antisocial and disgusting.'], 'answer_start': [615]}
From Mexico: I cant talk right, not even when Im alone. When I talk my voice sounds like if i were starting to cry or if i was nervous and it feels like im about to cry i feel this pressure in my throat and i feel very nervous sometimes my hands sweat and shake. 2 weeks before my period ive noticed this gets worse, stress and anxiety worsens it as well.

Cognitive distortion: Should statements
Distorted part: {'text': ['I cant talk right, not even when Im alone.'], 'answer_start': [13]}
From Panama: It has been going for a while now, but I realized about a couple of weeks ago. It seems like a really bad habit, but now I’m not sure if it’s just a habit. I have a lot of interests. I like researching and finding out what I like, but that also happens to be a bad thing since when I find an interest and I decide to pursue it, after little time, I give up on it. I don’t know why, but I always seem to do it. It’s like I lose interest, or whatever motivation I had in the first place. For example, a couple of weeks ago I had decided to write a book. I’ve always loved writing and reading, even when I was younger. Reading is certainly an addiction, while writing fills me with satisfaction. So I started creating the plot and organizing the story, because I wanted to do it perfectly. I started making summaries per chapter so that when I actually start to write, I know what goes on in the chapter. I was so pumped about it. I felt like this time, I was going to do it right. Until a few days ago. The book was just by the half. I stopped logging in my computer. I stopped looking for words. I stopped having interest. I simply stopped wanting to write. And I know that it’s not writers block, because I knew what I had to write, I just didn’t want to. And I’m so annoyed about it, because I was telling myself at the beginning: “Don’t worry, you’ll totally make it through the end this time.” And once again, I’ve failed to complete it. And not just in writing, I also quit tap dancing, piano lessons, TV shows, you name it. And I’m disgusted by this because I want to finish stuff, but then I don’t. I’ve never been diagnosed with depression and anxiety disorders, but I’m pretty certain I have them. I’ve never checked myself because my parents have enough troubles on their own. I have also insulin resistance and tachycardia (they are aware), so I don’t want to trouble them with something as big as depression and anxiety that may just be all up in my head and possibly not be true. I just keep everything inside, and wait until it all goes away. Please help me.

Cognitive distortion: Personalization
Distorted part: {'text': ['And I’m disgusted by this because I want to finish stuff, but then I don’t.'], 'answer_start': [1542]}