Anonymous-EmpathyAI/300-samples-cof-ref huggingface dataset:
Situation: My husband got two tickets to a Bruins game the other day and rather than asking me if I wanted to go with him he invited a friend.
Thought: My husband doesn't want to spend time with me.

Reframe: I can express feeling left out to my husband, and that I would like us to have time to connect later this week. I can have a conversation with him instead of making assumptions about what he's thinking.
Thinking traps addressed: mind reading,overgeneralizing

Reframe: I spend a lot of time with my partner and maybe he wants some connecting time with a friend. I have a healthy relationship with my partner.
Thinking traps addressed: personalizing,overgeneralizing
Situation: My husband wants a divorce, I've self isolated for years, my brother died
Thought: Worthlessness, abandonment, grief

Reframe: There is no connection between my brother dying and my husband wanting a divorce.
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion

Reframe: My husband's reasons for wanting a divorce do not mean I am worthless.
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion,labeling
Situation: My inabilities cost me my job.
Thought: I would not find a job

Reframe: I feel anxious about my work performance. I know that if I improve and try my hardest I will find something I am good at and have success.
Thinking traps addressed: disqualifying the positive

Reframe: There are things I could have done better to keep that job. I will work to grow and try to do better next time.
Thinking traps addressed: overgeneralizing
Situation: My love is leaving, and there's no turning back.
Thought: What if I never see her again?

Reframe: I'm feeling sad and lonely that my love has left. I hope we can reunite in the future or that I have the chance to fall in love again.
Thinking traps addressed: catastrophizing

Reframe: It hurts to watch my love leave. I wonder what the future holds for me romantically but I will remember the positive parts of this relationship fondly.
Thinking traps addressed: fortune telling
Situation: My manager is giving more responsibilities to another co-worker.
Thought: I deserve more than the other co-worker to get more responsibilities.

Reframe: Another coworker's responsibilities are not my concern
Thinking traps addressed: personalizing

Reframe: What my manager decides to give my coworker has nothing to do with me
Thinking traps addressed: personalizing
Situation: My mom cooked me breakfast and the eggs which she knows i like over medium were over cooked. I became very upset.
Thought: frustration

Reframe: I also overcook my food sometimes, people make mistakes
Thinking traps addressed: disqualifying the positive

Reframe: It was very nice of my mother to make me food and sometimes eggs get overcooked.
Thinking traps addressed: disqualifying the positive,magnification
Situation: My next door neighbors filed a complaint against us last week blaming our dogs for excessive barking
Thought: They are so wrong and I'm so pissed but I know I can't prove it and they will probably win because they won't ever admit it and I have to do something right NOW! or I might lose my dogs.

Reframe: Maybe we can talk to the neighbor to figure out what happened.
Thinking traps addressed: catastrophizing

Reframe: i'm not going to lose my dogs. I can bring them indoors next time.
Thinking traps addressed: overgeneralizing,catastrophizing
Situation: My partner broke up with me and slept with someone else
Thought: No one cares about me

Reframe: My partner doesn't care about me and broke up with me, but many other people care about me.
Thinking traps addressed: overgeneralizing

Reframe: My partner and I are not together anymore but that does not mean he doesn't still care about me in some way.  I will have other relationships with people who do care deeply about me but it may not happen right away.
Thinking traps addressed: overgeneralizing,mind reading
Situation: My partner left me.
Thought: I did something wrong

Reframe: I'm feeling sad, anxious, and lonely as my partner leaves. I'm thankful for the positive parts of our relationship and will mourn this loss, but I know I will eventually find the person who is right for me.
Thinking traps addressed: mind reading

Reframe: I'm feeling hurt that my partner left and I need to process how we got to this point.
Thinking traps addressed: personalizing,overgeneralizing
Situation: My partner was visiting her daughter, who was having surgery.  I got annoyed with her on the phone because she was being distracted.
Thought: I wanted her to pay attention and not interrupt me.

Reframe: My partner should be there for her daughter. I can call her later to check in on how she is feeling, rather than making myself the priority.
Thinking traps addressed: personalizing

Reframe: My partner was probably distracted because her daughter is having surgery. Her daughter should be her priority right now and I shouldn't take it so personally.
Thinking traps addressed: personalizing
Situation: My relationship ended out of nowhere, constantly stressed about my job, i ever feel like be worth it to another person or to my friends unless they need something.
Thought: I don’t feel like I’m worth it.

Reframe: There are times in the past where I have been worth, so I will be worth it in the future.
Thinking traps addressed: all-or-nothing thinking,magnification

Reframe: Given the strong negative feelings I'm having, I should figure some things out. I should ask my partner why they ended things, talk to my boss about my work stress, and communicate to my friends that I'm feeling used by them.
Thinking traps addressed: none
Situation: My sister asked my mother about me taking care of her cats instead of asking me directly.
Thought: I don't matter.

Reframe: If my sister knew that this would hurt me, she would not have talked to me behind my back. I should tell her that I was hurt by this.
Thinking traps addressed: all-or-nothing thinking,labeling,negative feeling or emotion

Reframe: My sister should have spoken to me about this and I am uncomfortable that people were talking behind my back. I should talk to my sister about this.
Thinking traps addressed: all-or-nothing thinking,labeling,negative feeling or emotion
Situation: My sister in law won't speak to me
Thought: My sister in law thinks I am worthless

Reframe: Just because my sister in law doesn’t talk with me right now things can change for future
Thinking traps addressed: mind reading,negative feeling or emotion

Reframe: I will not base my worth on other peoples feelings of me
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion
Situation: My sister looking amazing and me looking heinous, people at school being toxic
Thought: I hate myself and im a fat pig

Reframe: It's okay to feel jealous of my sister. But I can also learn to see the beauty in myself.
Thinking traps addressed: comparing and despairing

Reframe: I may not always like the way I look, but there are other things I love about myself.
Thinking traps addressed: disqualifying the positive
Situation: My sister put pictures of everyone but me on her holiday card
Thought: No one cares about me

Reframe: This year she handed out Christmas Cards to everyone but me … I am not close to her  so it does not matter to me that she does care for my other siblings more than me.
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion

Reframe: Maybe it was an oversight and it does not necessarily mean she does not care
Thinking traps addressed: overgeneralizing
Situation: My sister tried to commit suicide whilst at middle school
Thought: I was not a good enough sister

Reframe: My sister has been having a really hard time but I have worked as hard as I can to support her.
Thinking traps addressed: labeling,overgeneralizing

Reframe: My sister's suicide attempt is reflective of the pain and difficulties she has been experiencing and is not a reflection on me.
Thinking traps addressed: labeling,overgeneralizing,personalizing
Situation: My son threw a tantrum at an indoor playground and I had to carry him out kicking and screaming
Thought: I'm a bad mom

Reframe: i'm a great mom. my son was just having a bad day.
Thinking traps addressed: labeling

Reframe: all kids throw tantrums sometimes. this is normal.
Thinking traps addressed: labeling,negative feeling or emotion
Situation: My spouse became verbally abusive with me.
Thought: He might hit me

Reframe: I am allowed to leave and call for help.
Thinking traps addressed: none

Reframe: If I feel unsafe, I can leave the situation.
Thinking traps addressed: none
Situation: My spouse got a new gaming console and spends most of his free time playing video games.
Thought: I am not good enough for him.

Reframe: My spouse found a new hobby, I'm happy for him! With this new free time I have, I should find a new hobby as well, maybe there is a game I want to play too.
Thinking traps addressed: labeling,all-or-nothing thinking,negative feeling or emotion,overgeneralizing,mind reading,personalizing,catastrophizing

Reframe: My spouse is doing something he really enjoys, I'm glad he is having fun! I will ask him if we can schedule a date later this week to get some quality time together.
Thinking traps addressed: labeling,all-or-nothing thinking,negative feeling or emotion,overgeneralizing,mind reading,personalizing,catastrophizing
Situation: My teenage child wanted to go out with friends and I said no
Thought: I feel horrible about it, I must be a bad parent

Reframe: I'm feeling horrible for saying no, but that doesn't necessarily mean I'm a bad parent. I may need to be harsh at times, but there are also times when I'm gentle and kind
Thinking traps addressed: emotional reasoning

Reframe: I'm feeling horrible, but a good parent is harsh when they need to be
Thinking traps addressed: emotional reasoning
Situation: My uncle was in a serious accident and ignorant members of my family did not contact me and let me know.
Thought: The anger I felt because some members of the family do not like me so they refused to let me know about my beloved uncle.

Reframe: My family members may have had to rush to the hospital and maybe they didn't have time to call me.
Thinking traps addressed: mind reading

Reframe: This should be about my uncle and I should not make the situation about me.
Thinking traps addressed: personalizing
Situation: My wife accused me of cheating.
Thought: She doesn't trust me.

Reframe: I'm assuming that she doesn't trust me. I just need to ask her what's going on.
Thinking traps addressed: mind reading

Reframe: It hurts to think that she doesn't trust me, but I need to ask her why she accused me of cheating.
Thinking traps addressed: mind reading
Situation: My wife didn't look up from her phone or answer me when I came to talk to her.
Thought: Am I not worth her time?

Reframe: Maybe my wife is busy at the moment and I should come back in a few minutes. I'm sure she will give me her time if I wait until after she isn't busy.
Thinking traps addressed: all-or-nothing thinking

Reframe: I am worth my wife's time, but not 24/7. Just because she is busy does not mean she doesn't love me.
Thinking traps addressed: labeling
Situation: My wife has left me.
Thought: I'm going to be alone

Reframe: Being left by my wife hurts, but it doesn't necessarily means I will be alone forever.
Thinking traps addressed: catastrophizing

Reframe: The end of my relationship is hard, and maybe it was the right thing and I can now live a life that is worth living for me.
Thinking traps addressed: disqualifying the positive
Situation: My wife sat me down and said she needed me to make more money because she is tired of paying rent by herself
Thought: i was letting her down and she felt pressured by my actions

Reframe: I am glad my wife felt comfortable enough to communicate her concerns with me so we can work together to find a solution.
Thinking traps addressed: mind reading

Reframe: Our financial stressors as a couple are high right now. There are other parts of our relationship that are going well. I know my wife values how hard I work at taking care of our children and keeping our house organized.
Thinking traps addressed: overgeneralizing
Situation: My wife, asked me very kindly, to finally clean the bathroom shower in our bathroom, and I got upset by this.
Thought: I'm busy doing something else, it's not like I haven't tried to get to that chore!

Reframe: I am feeling overwhelmed with everything I need to do. I have neglected cleaning the shower for a couple of weeks. I should budget the time to complete that tomorrow and get it finished.
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion,emotional reasoning,blaming

Reframe: She is not necessarily telling me that I am not working hard enough on other tasks and demands in our lives. She is communicating her need for support with one specific task. I will work on fulfilling my commitments when I commit to doing so.
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion,emotional reasoning,blaming
Situation: No trust
Thought: I am scared something bad will happen to the people I love

Reframe: How are they doing in this moment?  Come back to this moment … It is only your anxiety and worry talking …
Thinking traps addressed: catastrophizing,fortune telling,magnification

Reframe: Try focusing  on something else when those thoughts happen
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion
Situation: Nobody finds me attractive other then my boyfriend
Thought: I am ugly

Reframe: You have many good qualities about you
Thinking traps addressed: labeling

Reframe: You are not ugly you were born with beautiful curly hair
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion
Situation: Once I was unemployed because I had many faults at work
Thought: Having done things wrong

Reframe: it's true that i have done a lot of wrong things. i have gotten better and will continue to improve
Thinking traps addressed: personalizing

Reframe: That was in the past. i have grown a lot and don't have as many faults now.
Thinking traps addressed: personalizing,negative feeling or emotion,all-or-nothing thinking
Situation: Our forest inventory data is due in less than three days and I still have over 100 plots to do.  The date cannot be missed and my superiors expect it completed.
Thought: I have at least four normal days of plot work needing done in three days

Reframe: I have a lot of work to do and this deadline is important to me. I should discuss this with my supervisors to see if I can get any help with this project.
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion,comparing and despairing,all-or-nothing thinking

Reframe: I will do my best to get the work done, and I trust that my supervisor will be reasonable if I cannot meet the deadline.
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion,comparing and despairing,all-or-nothing thinking
Situation: Recent panic attack
Thought: I'm not going to live up to my expectations for my future

Reframe: I had a panic attack recently but that doesn't mean I have to give up on my future.  I may never have another panic attack, but if I do I can learn how to manage the reaction I have.  They are more common than people realize and it doesn't mean I don't have a future.
Thinking traps addressed: catastrophizing

Reframe: panic attacks are very scary but they don't have to limit my future expectations.  Many people have panic attacks and become very successful.  I can try medication or exposure therapy to increase the chances of being successful.
Thinking traps addressed: fortune telling
Situation: Recent rape, prior trauma, isolation, boredom, loneliness, feeling abandoned and so alone
Thought: I can't get through this

Reframe: I am being victimized and traumatized but I can do something about this
Thinking traps addressed: emotional reasoning

Reframe: Listing my feelings helps some
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion
Situation: Recently I found out that one of my coworkers with who I work closely, organized a party and I wasn't invited to the party.
Thought: I felt left out and singled out in the office and wondered if the person had a personal grudge against me.

Reframe: There may be many reasons this person did not invite me to their party.
Thinking traps addressed: mind reading,personalizing

Reframe: It does not feel good to be left out but that does not mean it was personal
Thinking traps addressed: personalizing
Situation: Rejected from my dream company
Thought: I never get what I want

Reframe: Most times I do not get I want. I think I will have to settle for a less desirable company
Thinking traps addressed: overgeneralizing

Reframe: Never? Think about the instances when I was able to achieve what I wanted
Thinking traps addressed: overgeneralizing
Situation: Someone criticized the way I dealt with a patient saying that I was too short tempered with them.
Thought: I felt the criticism was unfair because they didn't take into account the entire situation, especially considering how the patient was behaving towards me.

Reframe: I know the details of this situation and was the person involved so my response style is for me to decide
Thinking traps addressed: personalizing

Reframe: People can give me feedback and I can take or leave it.
Thinking traps addressed: personalizing
Situation: Someone pushed me and made me bleed
Thought: I feel like people out there try to take advantage of me and also betray me .

Reframe: I don't know why they pushed me. Maybe it had nothing to do with me.
Thinking traps addressed: mind reading

Reframe: One person mistreated me, but there are other people who care about me.
Thinking traps addressed: overgeneralizing
Situation: Someone started a rumor that I'd been banned from an online community when in fact I hadn't. Many people chose to attack my character and one person called me a bully. When I dispelled the rumor and defended myself I was denied an opportunity to defend myself and insulted further.
Thought: I am a bad person.

Reframe: I cannot control what people think about me, I know I am a good person.
Thinking traps addressed: labeling,negative feeling or emotion

Reframe: This was a misunderstanding, and it was hurtful, but that doesn't make me a bad person.
Thinking traps addressed: labeling,negative feeling or emotion
Situation: Stomach ache every day
Thought: I might be having a serious illness

Reframe: A stomach ache could be due to stress or worry and may not cause serious illness.   I have a tendency to think the worst instead being practical.  If I reduce my stress I may find my stomach no longer hurts.
Thinking traps addressed: catastrophizing

Reframe: A stomach ache is not necessarily indicative of serious illness.  I won't know what it means unless I go to a doctor.
Thinking traps addressed: fortune telling
Situation: That's what my mom tells me growing up
Thought: I'm worthless

Reframe: No one is completely worthless.  I can always find good things about other people and one day I will be able to see that I have value.
Thinking traps addressed: overgeneralizing

Reframe: Just because my mom told me that all my life doesn't make it true.  I know I have value because I have demonstrated good qualities to my friends and co-workers.
Thinking traps addressed: overgeneralizing,emotional reasoning
Situation: The guy I'm dating went home early one night and I got upset because I thought it meant he didn't want to see me anymore, but I was wrong.
Thought: I guess he doesn't like me anymore

Reframe: I will reach out to him to discuss how he's been feeling, I cannot know what he is thinking or feeling.
Thinking traps addressed: mind reading

Reframe: I didn't know why he did that, and what I thought wasn't correct, but that doesn't mean he doesn't like me anymore.
Thinking traps addressed: mind reading,negative feeling or emotion,overgeneralizing
Situation: The host of a party is giving me one-word responses when I try to talk to them
Thought: I feel like an outcast

Reframe: I'm feeling like an outcast and I'm unable to talk to people. But let's see if there are other fun things to do at the party
Thinking traps addressed: emotional reasoning

Reframe: I'm feeling like an outcast, but so do many others
Thinking traps addressed: emotional reasoning
Situation: The team captain on my gaming team approached me to try to remove me as the vice captain on the team citing that they didn't think I was doing enough to assist them.
Thought: You hardly communicate what you need at all. How am I supposed to help?

Reframe: This seems like a miscommunication. I am going to reach out to them to better understand the expectations they have for the specific time and tasks required for this role.  Then I can clarify if I can fulfill that moving forward.
Thinking traps addressed: personalizing,blaming,negative feeling or emotion

Reframe: I need to take a step back and be less defensive about this decision they made. I have been busier lately and maybe there is someone that would have more time to commit to this position.
Thinking traps addressed: personalizing,blaming,negative feeling or emotion
Situation: They are racist
Thought: I hate Republicans

Reframe: It's okay to feel angry at people who do hurtful things.
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion

Reframe: Some Republicans are racist. That doesn't mean I hate all of them
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion
Situation: They did not convert me as permanent at work
Thought: I'm a failure

Reframe: There may be a good reason why they didn't keep me on permanently at work.  I know I have a lot to learn and I am willing to do better.  That does not make me a failure.  I have excelled at many things in life and work is only part of who I am.
Thinking traps addressed: all-or-nothing thinking

Reframe: I am not a failure.  There are lots of reasons why they may not have kept me on as permanent at work.  I am worthy of employment and one day will find a place that appreciates me.
Thinking traps addressed: labeling
Situation: Three days have passed since my job interview and I didn't receive any updates
Thought: I didn't get the job

Reframe: I don't know yet whether I got the job. I will only know it when I hear back from the recruiter
Thinking traps addressed: fortune telling

Reframe: I may not get the job, but I can apply again. I'll have to put more effort, but let's see what the future holds.
Thinking traps addressed: fortune telling
Situation: Threw a conniption when unable to complete an Amigurumi project for my niece.
Thought: I am unable to do this simply damned thing.

Reframe: I am upset with myself because I hold high expectations of myself and my actions. I am allowed to be upset and I can ask for help if I need it.
Thinking traps addressed: all-or-nothing thinking,negative feeling or emotion,labeling

Reframe: I didn't finish the project yet and that is okay! I have been busy and if this is important to me, I will get it done.
Thinking traps addressed: all-or-nothing thinking,negative feeling or emotion,labeling
Situation: Time is running short on the workday, my boss asks me if I can finish a task that will require me to stay for a few extra hours.
Thought: Why would you wait until the last minute to ask me this.

Reframe: This task is a particularly challenging one - neither of us estimated it would take this long to finish it.
Thinking traps addressed: blaming

Reframe: He is asking me to stay late today but this is a one-off and he doesn't ask me to do that often.
Thinking traps addressed: disqualifying the positive
Situation: We had bad storms in our community and some tornadoes came through and destroyed some of the area. No one in our extended family from out of town checked on me.
Thought: I feel unloved and unwanted by my mother and siblings

Reframe: My family may not know about the tornadoes. I am sure if they did, they would reach out because I know they care about me. Just because they don't check in this one time, does not mean I am not loved by them.
Thinking traps addressed: all-or-nothing thinking

Reframe: It is possible nobody in my extended family heard about the tornadoes. I am sure if they did, they would reach out.
Thinking traps addressed: emotional reasoning