Anonymous-EmpathyAI/300-samples-cof-ref huggingface dataset:
Situation: I hurt my families feelings by canceling the trip they had planned to come to see me.
Thought: I should have made time for them.

Reframe: I feel sad that I had to cancel this trip but I know my family loves me and will understand.
Thinking traps addressed: mind reading

Reframe: I cancelled that trip because I had to. It hurts to have done so but it was the right thing.
Thinking traps addressed: should statements
Situation: I hurt my family members by telling them to postpone their long-planned trip to visit me because I was too busy
Thought: I am selfish

Reframe: I had to prioritize work this time but it doesn't mean I'm "selfish" as a whole
Thinking traps addressed: labeling

Reframe: I may have come across as "selfish", but I didn't have a choice
Thinking traps addressed: labeling
Situation: I invited a co-worker out and they turn me down
Thought: They will never want to go out with me

Reframe: Just because one person turns me down, doesn't mean everyone will. I will keep trying and I will find someone who wants to go out with me
Thinking traps addressed: labeling

Reframe: One person turned me down but many others want to go out with me
Thinking traps addressed: labeling
Situation: I invited a co-worker out and they turned me down
Thought: They will never want to go out with me

Reframe: I'm sure their response was not about me, this coworker must have other things going on.
Thinking traps addressed: catastrophizing,personalizing

Reframe: The coworker must be busy, maybe they will accept my invitation next time.
Thinking traps addressed: fortune telling,overgeneralizing
Situation: I just don't care about myself
Thought: Everyone is more important than me

Reframe: Although I feel less important than others and dont care about myself I can name a few important and good qualities I do have
Thinking traps addressed: comparing and despairing,disqualifying the positive

Reframe: I feel depressed don’t care about myself and feel unimportant in life
Thinking traps addressed: disqualifying the positive,negative feeling or emotion
Situation: I just feel unmotivated
Thought: I just can't get moving

Reframe: I am depressed maybe 🤔 I’ll talked to my Dr about it
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion

Reframe: Just because I feel unmotivated right now and can’t get moving doesn’t mean I’ll always feel this way
Thinking traps addressed: none
Situation: I just got fired from working as a sales person because I didn't reach my quota. I had never had a job like this before this.
Thought: I'm a failure and can't keep a sales person job.

Reframe: I wonder if sales is the right job for me. I have a lot of skills to offer and will find the right job for me in the future.
Thinking traps addressed: all-or-nothing thinking,labeling

Reframe: I'm feeling hurt from losing that job. It's normal to doubt myself but I have had successes in the past and will again in the future.
Thinking traps addressed: all-or-nothing thinking,labeling
Situation: I keep pushing myself towards new things. I keep working, studying, socializing, exercising. I'm doing far more thab anyonr I know and I still go to sleep every night, hoping I won't wake up.
Thought: I'm everything I can and I still feel like shit

Reframe: Though I generally feel bad, there are times that I feel joy, like when I exercise or hang out with friends.
Thinking traps addressed: disqualifying the positive

Reframe: I am doing a lot of cool things and still feeling bad.  This is not normal, and I can reach out for help if I think that there's nothing else I can do.
Thinking traps addressed: overgeneralizing
Situation: I know why I am so angry all of the time. like I have this little monster in my head. It just makes me want to abandon everything and hide from everyone so I lash out anymore. I just hate my brain.
Thought: I am crazy.

Reframe: I am not crazy, but I have anger issues that I need to work on.
Thinking traps addressed: labeling

Reframe: I'm feeling really strong emotions. I'm not crazy, but maybe it's time to reach out for help.
Thinking traps addressed: labeling,negative feeling or emotion
Situation: I left a toxic job that abused me for 12 years. I thought I found a new job that was better, but realized they lied to me about the job and now I hate working here. I feel like I made a huge mistake.
Thought: I can never get a break. Every time I try to make a positive change in my life, something happens to ruin it.

Reframe: Just because I have had two negative situations related to employment doesn't mean it happens every time.  There are other areas of my life where I have had made positive changes and it has worked out great.
Thinking traps addressed: fortune telling

Reframe: I have received a number of breaks in life that greatly improved my current circumstances.  Using "never" is an extreme belief.
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion
Situation: I lost my best friend. I'm a male and she was the nicest girl I've ever met. But I fucked it. I started to take her for granted, started to overthink, to take everything too seriously, I was jealous, selfish and though only of my own interests and not of hers feelings
Thought: it's all my fault

Reframe: Though I messed up, I've learned a lot from myself and can improve this behavior.
Thinking traps addressed: all-or-nothing thinking

Reframe: I messed things up. I have some things I need to work on if I want to be in a relationship again.
Thinking traps addressed: personalizing
Situation: I lost my house
Thought: I want to die

Reframe: I'm feeling sadness and despair right now. I think it would really be helpful to talk to someone who can help me get through this
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion

Reframe: Life is throwing challenges at me. But this will only help me grow
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion
Situation: I love two people at the same time
Thought: That I'm going to fail

Reframe: It could all turn out much better than I expected.
Thinking traps addressed: catastrophizing

Reframe: I don't really know whether or not I will fail.
Thinking traps addressed: fortune telling
Situation: I made a goal to quit smoking and failed
Thought: I keep failing at this

Reframe: I am putting effort into my health and it is okay that I slip up sometimes. I should not take that as a sign to stop trying, instead just a sign that this is a difficult thing to do!
Thinking traps addressed: overgeneralizing,fortune telling,all-or-nothing thinking,negative feeling or emotion,labeling,should statements,catastrophizing,magnification

Reframe: Quitting smoking is incredibly difficult! It seems like the ways I am trying right now aren't working, where can I seek support around this?
Thinking traps addressed: overgeneralizing,fortune telling,all-or-nothing thinking,negative feeling or emotion,labeling,should statements,catastrophizing,magnification
Situation: I made a joke that fell flat in front of someone I just met, and that person left the room.
Thought: People will never perceive me as acting naturally in social situations.

Reframe: This one experience does not define how people will perceive me in other social situations.
Thinking traps addressed: fortune telling,overgeneralizing

Reframe: We may not have the same sense of humor, but that doesn't mean how I act in social situations is unnatural.
Thinking traps addressed: fortune telling,overgeneralizing
Situation: I made a mistake with an expensive reagent at work and ruined my experiment.
Thought: I'm mad at myself for being careless

Reframe: I made a mistake, and mistakes happen to everyone. That doesn't mean I am being careless.
Thinking traps addressed: emotional reasoning,labeling,negative feeling or emotion

Reframe: This mistake doesn't define me or my behavior, I will be more careful next time.
Thinking traps addressed: emotional reasoning,labeling,negative feeling or emotion
Situation: I made very good English presentation but I got nervous because of the amount of people and I forgot my text
Thought: I'm scared to present in front of other people and I panic

Reframe: Although I got nervous today and forgot part of my presentation, I actually made a very good presentation overall.  It is natural to be nervous when presenting in front of other people.  The more I do it the less anxious I will feel.
Thinking traps addressed: disqualifying the positive

Reframe: I am allowing one bad experience to cloud my judgement on my ability to present in front of other people.  Just because I panicked today doesn't mean I will have that reaction every time.
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion,emotional reasoning
Situation: I missed a personal deadline for a project a friend asked me to help with.
Thought: I made a deadline and missed it.

Reframe: how can i make it up to my friend?
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion

Reframe: it's disappointing when i miss deadlines. it has been a busy week. i am going to prioritize the project now.
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion
Situation: I mixed up the addresses on two packages and sent them to the wrong place
Thought: I screwed up again at work

Reframe: While I made a mistake here, I prepared the packages and completed the rest of the task well. I can attempt to fix this mistake.
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion,all-or-nothing thinking

Reframe: I made a mistake, and it happens to everyone. I should not be too hard on myself.
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion,overgeneralizing
Situation: I posted a new piece of artwork online and people started comparing it with artwork created by others
Thought: I shouldn't have posted it

Reframe: I am proud to have posted my work
Thinking traps addressed: personalizing

Reframe: I can still be proud of my work. It is totally up to me whether I should post it or not
Thinking traps addressed: personalizing
Situation: I put in a lot of time on an Mturk task and was rejected on an attention request. I suggested a better way of handling these errors (automatic ejection) to the researcher and their answer showed they didn't understand my point.
Thought: I didn't explain this right.

Reframe: Maybe the researcher doesnt understand Mturk that well. I should try to explain it differently.
Thinking traps addressed: overgeneralizing

Reframe: Maybe I did explain it right, but the researcher isn't familiar with Mturk. I should try to explain it another way or show him as  I am explaining.
Thinking traps addressed: personalizing
Situation: I received a rejection email from a position I applied to.
Thought: I will never get a job.

Reframe: I haven't had other job interviews yet, so I do not know what will happen following them.
Thinking traps addressed: fortune telling

Reframe: Just because I didn't receive an offer for this job doesn't mean I won't receive a job offer somewhere else in the future.
Thinking traps addressed: fortune telling,overgeneralizing
Situation: I received a subpar quiz score in a class.
Thought: I should have studied harder, or more efficiently.

Reframe: i will study harder and more efficiently next time
Thinking traps addressed: should statements,negative feeling or emotion

Reframe: that was a hard test. i'll study more efficiently next time.
Thinking traps addressed: should statements,negative feeling or emotion
Situation: I recently discovered a music artist that I very much enjoy. When I showed it to a close friend they had a very negative reaction and asked me how I could enjoy this type of music. I ended up getting quite angry with them and told them they had bad taste in music.
Thought: I felt that my personal self was under attack - and I needed to retaliate by denying their attack.

Reframe: I was offended by their comment because I like this artist so much. I let my anger get to me, and I said something mean in return. It is okay if we have different music tastes. I can ask him to be nicer to me next time.
Thinking traps addressed: emotional reasoning

Reframe: I got offended by my friend's comment because I felt like they were attacking me. Just because my friend doesn't like the same music as me, doesn't mean that I should take it so personal. Next time, I will try to remember that the comment is not about me.
Thinking traps addressed: personalizing
Situation: I run a business with my close friend and we were taking work-related photos at their house. I took the memory card home but lost it while I was walking.
Thought: My friend is going to be angry with me

Reframe: I made a mistake, and I will try to find it before I assume what will happen.
Thinking traps addressed: mind reading

Reframe: I do not know how my friend will react, and I should not assume.
Thinking traps addressed: mind reading,negative feeling or emotion
Situation: I saw a profile picture of a close friend on a dating app that I had feelings for.
Thought: I am not the kind of person that she would like to go out with.

Reframe: I don't know what she is looking for in a potential partner. I should like her on the app and see what happens.
Thinking traps addressed: mind reading,all-or-nothing thinking

Reframe: I am assuming that there is nothing about me that would be attractive to her. There are many different parts of what make me who I am.  Everyone has strengths and weaknesses - I am not the only person with some faults.
Thinking traps addressed: mind reading,comparing and despairing,all-or-nothing thinking
Situation: I saw my best friend kissing with my long time crush
Thought: No one cares about me

Reframe: Seeing my best friend kiss my crush was very hard for me to forget.  There will be other crushes in my life and other people who care about me.  I know my family and other friends care about me.
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion

Reframe: There are a lot of people in my life who care about me.  My best friend may not be trustworthy but that doesn't mean he/she doesn't care about me.
Thinking traps addressed: overgeneralizing
Situation: I saw my friend comment on an Instagram post when he's been ignoring me.
Thought: My friend doesn't like me anymore.

Reframe: He probably is just not as active on social media right now.
Thinking traps addressed: mind reading

Reframe: He is probably just commenting on things on his feed and it is not about me specifically.
Thinking traps addressed: personalizing
Situation: I sent a message to my friend and they did not reply
Thought: It must be my fault

Reframe: I did my part by sending the message. It is now up to them to reply. It would be their fault if they do not
Thinking traps addressed: personalizing

Reframe: I think I'm wrongly assuming that I'm responsible for my friend not replying. There could be many reasons they didn't reply that are unrelated to me
Thinking traps addressed: personalizing
Situation: I showed a new game idea I have to some friends I have in a chat room we all have together, but only 2 of them responded.
Thought: My friends aren't interested in my game idea

Reframe: Maybe a group chat is not the best way to share something this important to me. I will try to connect to a couple of friends individually, buy them dinner, and ask for their feedback on my project.
Thinking traps addressed: mind reading,personalizing,negative feeling or emotion,fortune telling

Reframe: Some of my friends have not responded to my idea, they must be busy or have other things going on. I will follow up with them after a couple days and share that their opinions are valuable to me.
Thinking traps addressed: mind reading,personalizing,negative feeling or emotion,fortune telling
Situation: I talk to a close friend online every day because we live in different states. We share a lot about our lives and our messages are usually pretty long. My friend asked me to stop messaging for a while because they felt overwhelmed and wouldn't be able to respond but wanted to at a later time
Thought: I'm annoying and oversharing

Reframe: my friend is feeling overwhelmed. i should respect their boundaries because that is what a good friend would do.
Thinking traps addressed: labeling,overgeneralizing,negative feeling or emotion

Reframe: i appreciate my friend telling me what they need. I will respect their boundaries.
Thinking traps addressed: overgeneralizing
Situation: I think that I am fatter that everyone else but i am not
Thought: I'm worthless

Reframe: My self-worth does not depend on having a particular body type.
Thinking traps addressed: labeling

Reframe: I can accept myself regardless of how I look.
Thinking traps addressed: labeling
Situation: I thought that my sister had taken some money from my house when she'd come over to visit.
Thought: I cannot trust my sister anymore.

Reframe: I am not sure if my sister had taken money from me, I should not make any decisions before I know the truth. I will talk to my sister about this.
Thinking traps addressed: blaming,negative feeling or emotion,overgeneralizing

Reframe: If my sister took some money, she probably had a good reason. I should talk to her before I come to a conclusion.
Thinking traps addressed: blaming,negative feeling or emotion,overgeneralizing
Situation: I took part in a writing competition and I lost
Thought: I will never become a successful writer

Reframe: I don't know what the future will bring. If I continue working hard and persevering, it will only increase my chances of being a successful writer
Thinking traps addressed: fortune telling

Reframe: I may not become the most successful writer, but atleast I participated. Need to put in more work, I guess
Thinking traps addressed: fortune telling
Situation: I tried a new hair style but no one commented on it
Thought: I shouldn't have changed my hair

Reframe: I changed my hair because I wanted and they look great
Thinking traps addressed: should statements

Reframe: I could have kept the same hair, but I still wouldn't have drawn any attention
Thinking traps addressed: should statements
Situation: I tried on my wedding dress in front of my family. My mother was excited and told me I was beautiful, but other members of my family made comments about my weight. I was told to not eat and exercise so I could be beautiful.
Thought: I'm a fat ugly troll.

Reframe: I'm feeling hurt after that interaction. I want to feel good in the dress that I chose and will find a way to do so.
Thinking traps addressed: labeling,comparing and despairing

Reframe: The commend about my weight hurt and have me feeling self conscious. I'm glad my mother thinks I'm beautiful and know that my weight does not dictate my worth.
Thinking traps addressed: labeling,disqualifying the positive,magnification
Situation: I tried to advertise my business more but have gotten zero leads from it.
Thought: I am not good at what I do.

Reframe: I am doing my best in a field I am unfamiliar with. I will try to learn and get better as I go!
Thinking traps addressed: all-or-nothing thinking,labeling,overgeneralizing,negative feeling or emotion,mind reading,personalizing

Reframe: My advertising has not reached my ideal customers, I might need to try a different strategy. I wonder who could help me out with advertising?
Thinking traps addressed: all-or-nothing thinking,labeling,overgeneralizing,negative feeling or emotion,mind reading,personalizing
Situation: I tried to make a business but I lose
Thought: I'll never be able to do anything

Reframe: Just because I failed with this experience of starting a business doesn't mean I will fail at everything in life.  I am smart and a hard worker.  I will accomplish many things in my life.
Thinking traps addressed: all-or-nothing thinking

Reframe: I can't predict the future.  I may not have been successful with the first business I tried, but that doesn't mean I'll never be successful at anything else.
Thinking traps addressed: fortune telling
Situation: I tried to make friends with people but they kept ignoring me.
Thought: I am not interesting

Reframe: Other people may not be ignoring me because they don't find me interesting. They may just already be busy and have a lot of friends.
Thinking traps addressed: labeling,negative feeling or emotion,all-or-nothing thinking,personalizing

Reframe: It takes time to meet new people and to integrate into a new social group where everyone knows each other. I just need to keep trying my best and finding more outlets to interact with people with similar interests to me.
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion,all-or-nothing thinking,personalizing
Situation: I try to talk to a stranger at a party and they seem disinterested and walk away from me
Thought: I'm boring

Reframe: I may be boring, but that's who I am
Thinking traps addressed: fortune telling

Reframe: One disinterested stranger does not necessarily make me "boring" as a person
Thinking traps addressed: fortune telling
Situation: I want to shoot myself
Thought: I have lost all hope

Reframe: I feel overwhelmed by negative emotions. It's okay to feel these emotions and to reach out for support
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion

Reframe: I'm experiencing a painful emotion and that's okay. Things are going to be alright
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion
Situation: I was addicted to heroin.
Thought: I don't deserve to get better.

Reframe: I'm proud of myself for overcoming a heroin addiction. If I can do that, I can make other positive changes like finding a job.
Thinking traps addressed: disqualifying the positive

Reframe: It's natural to feel discouraged about not having a job right now. But I can be proud of recovering from my heroin addiction.
Thinking traps addressed: disqualifying the positive
Situation: I was at my Moms house today and we were talking about my job. She was shocked that I had been there for 15 years. She felt that it wasn't a good enough job. We were talking in the living room. She gasped as if that was insane.
Thought: My job is worthless

Reframe: My mom wouldn't want the job I have but it is not all bad.
Thinking traps addressed: all-or-nothing thinking

Reframe: My mom and I have different opinions about the pros and cons of this job.
Thinking traps addressed: disqualifying the positive
Situation: I was at work and sent info for an ad to our local newspaper. They called me later and said my boss had over-ridden everything and sent them new info.
Thought: He shouldn't assign me a task if he doesn't trust my work.

Reframe: My boss's actions don't reflect what they think of my work. My boss made a decision based on different information.
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion

Reframe: My boss wanted to provide different information, I did not know that beforehand. This is not a reflection of my work.
Thinking traps addressed: should statements,negative feeling or emotion
Situation: I was called into a meeting with my boss where I was told that I wasn't meeting the standards at work.
Thought: I am not doing well enough to warrant working at this job.

Reframe: While it doesn't feel great to hear that I'm not meeting standards at work, this does not mean I don't deserve this job. I will work to meet my work's standards.
Thinking traps addressed: all-or-nothing thinking

Reframe: I need to work harder to meet the standards but my boss was willing to talk with me about this because he is committed to my improvement
Thinking traps addressed: all-or-nothing thinking,negative feeling or emotion
Situation: I was driving home with my mother and we were talking about something. I said something stupid that didn't make sense and she called me out on it.
Thought: My opinions aren't valuable.

Reframe: My opinions have value, and this experience doesn't take away from that.
Thinking traps addressed: disqualifying the positive,all-or-nothing thinking,negative feeling or emotion

Reframe: While I shared my opinion, others are allowed to share theirs as well. This experience doesn't mean I should stop sharing my opinions.
Thinking traps addressed: labeling,all-or-nothing thinking,negative feeling or emotion