Anonymous-EmpathyAI/300-samples-cof-ref huggingface dataset:
Situation: A Roomate of mine stole my comptuer
Thought: Someone I trusted stole something valuable of mine, I was extremely angry and wanted justice

Reframe: My roommate stole something of mine, and I will focus on actionable solutions to address this.
Thinking traps addressed: emotional reasoning

Reframe: While I would like there to be consequences for my roommate's actions, it may not always be possible.
Thinking traps addressed: emotional reasoning
Situation: A few days ago, I got angry at my husband's grandmother who lives next door for beeping her horn till I came out of the house and asking me to come to dinner.
Thought: She doesn't respect me.

Reframe: She is older and may have been tired
Thinking traps addressed: overgeneralizing

Reframe: I felt disrespected by her actions, but that doesn't mean she has no respect for me.
Thinking traps addressed: overgeneralizing
Situation: A friend who is a recent widower has started dating.
Thought: My friend is ignoring his recently-deceased wife.

Reframe: Maybe my friend is in a healthy spot to date now. Maybe they have accepted the loss of their partner, and maybe their new partner helps to address some of their loneliness and sadness.
Thinking traps addressed: disqualifying the positive

Reframe: Maybe my friend has mourned the loss of their partner. It doesn't mean they are no longer sad about it or are completely over it, but maybe they have made peace with the situation.
Thinking traps addressed: mind reading
Situation: A neighbor borrowed my smartphone charger and never returned it.
Thought: he took me for granted!

Reframe: I know my neighbor is busy with his job and family. He probably just forgot to return it to me. I should stop by and ask for it back.
Thinking traps addressed: labeling,catastrophizing

Reframe: He forgot to bring me back my charger but I doubt it was done maliciously. It probably just slipped his mind.
Thinking traps addressed: personalizing
Situation: A new policy at work was established and required cooperation of efforts from another department in order to meet the new requirements. I took initiative and set meetings to talk about the new roles. After the meeting a verbal agreements were made I drafted a memorandum of agreement outlining the verbal agreements. A day later, the other department refused to participate because they did not want to do any extra work.
Thought: We will not be able to complete the work that needs to be done

Reframe: i can figure this out
Thinking traps addressed: catastrophizing

Reframe: i can problem solve and figure out a way to make this work.
Thinking traps addressed: catastrophizing
Situation: A potential client decided to work with another company
Thought: I failed our company & myself

Reframe: Did I? I am merely a small part of this company and shouldn't take the sole responsibility for its successes and failures
Thinking traps addressed: personalizing

Reframe: I'm a small part of this company and shouldn't take the sole responsibility for its successes and failures
Thinking traps addressed: personalizing
Situation: A student let me know they are struggling to grasp any of the concepts in class.
Thought: Am I not explaining the material well?

Reframe: One student struggling does not negate my efforts and triumphs as a teacher. I am doing the best I can.
Thinking traps addressed: all-or-nothing thinking,personalizing

Reframe: There could be a lot of factors contributing to why this student is struggling. I should ask the student about how I can support them and the parts they are struggling with.
Thinking traps addressed: personalizing
Situation: A week ago me and my GF were trying to find a store in a nearby town but we got lost.
Thought: We won't be able to find the store before it closes.

Reframe: I am feeling anxious and overwhelmed. Let me take a moment to refocus so we can work together to find the right way to go to get to the store on time.
Thinking traps addressed: fortune telling,all-or-nothing thinking,emotional reasoning,catastrophizing

Reframe: It is possible the store may close but being lost is not purposeful. If the store closes before we can get there we can just figure out another option to get what we need to get through the night.
Thinking traps addressed: fortune telling,all-or-nothing thinking,emotional reasoning,catastrophizing
Situation: After I complained about not spending time together, my boyfriend did not want to go on a date last weekend.
Thought: He doesn't love me.

Reframe: He has been open to meeting my needs in the past so this one situation does not define his love for me.
Thinking traps addressed: overgeneralizing

Reframe: I am worthy of voicing my needs and my lovability does not change because I have done so
Thinking traps addressed: personalizing
Situation: All of my relationship attempts have ended in failure
Thought: Suicidal thoughts

Reframe: Even very attractive people sometimes have a hard time finding love. Dating is hard, and I don't need to beat myself up.
Thinking traps addressed: emotional reasoning

Reframe: I may not always like the way I look, but I can still find someone who thinks I'm beautiful.
Thinking traps addressed: fortune telling
Situation: An mturk requester rejected my task and I wasn't sure why because I work very hard on my tasks. Being new it affected my approval rating more negatively.
Thought: I'm not smart enough to succeed at mturk

Reframe: I am learning still and can improve. Just because this one task did not go as well as I would like does not mean I cannot improve and do better in the future.
Thinking traps addressed: all-or-nothing thinking,labeling,overgeneralizing,fortune telling,personalizing

Reframe: It seems like there was some miscommunication. It doesn't mean that I do not have the skills to do well with mturk. I should reach out to see if I can get more clarity on why my task was rejected.
Thinking traps addressed: all-or-nothing thinking,labeling,overgeneralizing,fortune telling,personalizing
Situation: At dinner my mother in law kept trying to tell me how to watch my daughter and was being condensending, I finally got angry and told her to mind her own business.
Thought: My mother in law thinks I am an incompetent father.

Reframe: My mother in law has a different style of parenting than me and was being unfair. I am doing my best to be a good father and I don't need to take her advice if I don't want to.
Thinking traps addressed: mind reading,negative feeling or emotion,all-or-nothing thinking,labeling,personalizing

Reframe: My mother in law was being condescending and unfair to me. I do not need to take her parenting advice and I can distance myself from her and my kids if this is not a relationship that I want to invest in.
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion,all-or-nothing thinking,labeling,personalizing
Situation: At work I was frustrated after a meeting because I was told a certain amount of documents had to be indexed that week. I had a lot of other tasks and I started frantically naming them off. I was not expected to be indexing the full collection of documents like I thought I was so I was later embarassed I had acted so frustrated and snappy.
Thought: I thought I was being taken advantage of.

Reframe: My frustration is valid. The expectations at work changed and it felt upsetting. I might need to seek support to finish this project.
Thinking traps addressed: labeling,emotional reasoning

Reframe: I'm not perfect, and I'm doing the best that I can at work with the resources available.
Thinking traps addressed: mind reading,labeling,emotional reasoning,blaming
Situation: Becoming broke again.
Thought: I can't and never will escape this prison at my moms house

Reframe: Living with my mom isn’t what I  want for rest of my life
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion

Reframe: Sounds like my son that lives here with me
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion
Situation: Being transgender
Thought: I'm not who I want to be. I hate my appearance and my voice.

Reframe: Many people are transgender and it's just a label.  The sound of my voice and my appearance will eventually change to the appropriate gender.
Thinking traps addressed: labeling

Reframe: Although I do not like the sound of my voice or the way I look right now they do not define who I am.  I have many other positive attributes.  I will learn to focus on the positive.
Thinking traps addressed: disqualifying the positive
Situation: Breakup after loving truly.
Thought: I am scared of my future life and being in sorrow of breakup and didn't feel light of overthinking

Reframe: Being afraid of the future is understandable considering the depths of my emotions and my sorrow.  I could be responding on a strictly emotional level rather than a rational reasoning level.
Thinking traps addressed: emotional reasoning

Reframe: It's not unusual for someone to over think a situation when experiencing strong emotions.  I will refrain from judgment about  my future until more time has passed.
Thinking traps addressed: emotional reasoning
Situation: Dealing with PTSD
Thought: If I don't sleep well one night due to panic attack, then I it will only get worse

Reframe: If I have a night of panic attacks and not sleeping wellit will only get worse
Thinking traps addressed: fortune telling

Reframe: I have PTSD it’s difficult to deal with
Thinking traps addressed: none
Situation: Don't have a job
Thought: I'm a failure

Reframe: I now have time to get caught up on household tasks I did not have time to do while working.  I also have time to devote to my arts and crafts which really helps to boost my self-esteem.
Thinking traps addressed: disqualifying the positive

Reframe: I am not a failure.  Many people are out of work.  My worth is not based on my employment.
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion
Situation: Every time I think I have another chance at love, I am reminded how insufferable and unlovable I make myself.
Thought: I am a hard person to love

Reframe: I don't need to be so hard on myself. Relationships take work.
Thinking traps addressed: labeling

Reframe: I have been in relationships before where I have been loved and it didn't seem like I was hard to love then.
Thinking traps addressed: labeling
Situation: Everyone in my life has left me
Thought: Someone please kill me

Reframe: I'm having a hard time feeling hopeful right now. It might be a good time to look for help from a mental health professional
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion

Reframe: It's hard when people grow apart from each other. I can mourn the people I've lost while building new relationships in the future
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion
Situation: Everyone is mean to me
Thought: I hate everyone

Reframe: Some of the people in my life are mean to me. I would like to find friends who treat me well and appreciate the good things about me
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion

Reframe: When people are mean to me, it makes me feel angry. I can focus on what I can control about the situation and let go of what I can't control.
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion
Situation: Fired for not meeting quota as a salesman.
Thought: I can't pay my bills.

Reframe: I'm feeling anxious about losing that job. I will have to be careful with my spending and work efficiently to find a new way to ensure that I can pay my bills.
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion

Reframe: I feel bad for getting fired and it makes me scared about my financial future. I have gotten through other hard things and can get through this hard thing too.
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion,catastrophizing
Situation: First interview after studying and getting my diploma.
Thought: I'll screw it over

Reframe: There is no way of knowing exactly how the interview will go at this time.
Thinking traps addressed: fortune telling

Reframe: I will prepare for the interview the best that I can.
Thinking traps addressed: fortune telling,catastrophizing
Situation: For many years I've been tutoring students online in math and reading. One of my newer students requested to my supervisor that she be assigned to a different tutor because she didn't like me.
Thought: I was searching my brain to figure out why she didn't like me, and it made me so sad to think I'd hurt her feelings or caused a problem for her.

Reframe: it's ok if people dont like me
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion

Reframe: I might not have hurt her feelings or caused a problem for her, we just might not have been a good fit.
Thinking traps addressed: personalizing
Situation: Go fuck yourself
Thought: Fuck you

Reframe: It's okay to feel angry. I can focus on what I can control and let go of what I can't
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion

Reframe: Sometimes I feel so angry, I don't know how to express myself. It might help to write down what I'm feeling and think about what's behind my anger
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion
Situation: Having problems coming up with words to write essay.
Thought: I will get a bad grade.

Reframe: I'm feeling anxious about this assignment. I can use skills to calm myself, try my best on the essay, ask for any appropriate help, and whatever grade I get I will know that I tried my hardest.
Thinking traps addressed: fortune telling,catastrophizing,all-or-nothing thinking

Reframe: I'm having trouble writing this essay but will do my best.
Thinking traps addressed: fortune telling,magnification
Situation: I actually cannot help it on my own. No matter how hard I try, looking at the bright side of things, logically trying to reason things out, giving myself the benefit of the doubt.. Everything is driving me up the wall. Anger, frustration, sadness, you name it. It's like everything I was able to blow off before is just hitting straight at me and it's relentless.
Thought: Everything driving me nuts...

Reframe: My emotions are valid but I am in control of them.
Thinking traps addressed: blaming

Reframe: I'm really emotional about a lot of things right now. I wonder if it truly is EVERYTHING that's driving me nuts or if it's 1 or 2 big things that are causing me to blow up at everything.
Thinking traps addressed: none
Situation: I always do the wrong thing, I always make mistakes
Thought: I hate myself

Reframe: I have made some good decisions with positive results in the past and will do so again.  This situation is not indicative of my overall worth.
Thinking traps addressed: all-or-nothing thinking

Reframe: I have been under a lot of stress and taken on more than I can handle.  This is impairing my ability to make good decisions.  I may feel negative about myself right now, but I can get this under control of my responsibilities and ask for help.
Thinking traps addressed: labeling
Situation: I am alone none understands
Thought: Can not move have so much to do mind numb

Reframe: I may feel that I am unable to move and get things done, but I was able to get dressed and eat breakfast today.
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion

Reframe: I feel numb and alone right now and think no one can understand how I feel.  This is a temporary situation that will pass.
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion
Situation: I am at a party where I do not know very many people. When I try to talk to a stranger, he gives one word replies and then ignores me. .
Thought: I am being annoying.

Reframe: I'm noticing that I feel socially anxious based on this person's response. They could be responding like this for many reasons. I can calm myself and try to have a conversation with someone else.
Thinking traps addressed: emotional reasoning

Reframe: I'm not having a connection with the person at this party.
Thinking traps addressed: mind reading,emotional reasoning
Situation: I am quite fond of a coworker and decide to talk to them. I offer up the idea that it might be fun to go out together sometime, and they respond with the fact they are too busy.
Thought: I'm not attractive or have a good enough personality.

Reframe: My feeling are hurt after getting rejected like that. It could be true that they are too busy or maybe there are other reasons they don't want to go out with me. I can't know for sure but I will get over this and find a good match for me.
Thinking traps addressed: labeling,negative feeling or emotion,mind reading,personalizing

Reframe: Wow. If this person is so busy that they don't have time to go out I really feel bad for them.
Thinking traps addressed: personalizing
Situation: I am single and isolated
Thought: im unlovable

Reframe: Just because I’m still single doesn’t make me not lovable
Thinking traps addressed: labeling

Reframe: I just haven’t been able to get out more in healthy places to meet healthy mates
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion
Situation: I am trying to diet but I gained weight this week.
Thought: I don't have the discipline to diet.

Reframe: I am having difficulty losing weight but I can stay dedicated to the process.
Thinking traps addressed: all-or-nothing thinking

Reframe: I am determined to reach this goal and will find ways to develop the willpower to do so.
Thinking traps addressed: disqualifying the positive
Situation: I am trying to help my son pay his bills and find a job.
Thought: He does not appreciate anything I do for him.

Reframe: I can't anticipate all of my son's needs, and he needs to ask for help when he needs it.
Thinking traps addressed: overgeneralizing,all-or-nothing thinking,blaming

Reframe: I can't assume what my son needs or wants. I want to ask him how I can be supportive of his needs.
Thinking traps addressed: overgeneralizing,all-or-nothing thinking,blaming
Situation: I am trying to write up an essay and can't think of anything
Thought: I'm wasting all my time

Reframe: Each minute of thinking is bringing me closer to what I want to write. Don't think this is a waste of time as such
Thinking traps addressed: all-or-nothing thinking

Reframe: I may have wasted time. But now I know which directions do not work and which ones I should prioritize
Thinking traps addressed: all-or-nothing thinking
Situation: I am unable to give my children any time
Thought: A good mother spends time with her kids on some activity every night

Reframe: A good mother regularly spends time with her kids. I'm not the best mother, but not bad either
Thinking traps addressed: overgeneralizing

Reframe: I spend some time when I can and want to, but it isn't feasible always
Thinking traps addressed: overgeneralizing
Situation: I am under appreciated at work
Thought: Self worth

Reframe: I may not always get a raise or promotion every year but it does not mean I’m worthless and under appreciated It May be because of external reasons outside the company’s control
Thinking traps addressed: comparing and despairing

Reframe: Just because work folks are working hard and are quietly working doesn’t mean they don’t realize my team player role and appreciate my part in the team effort
Thinking traps addressed: none
Situation: I am walking down the street in a new red jeans and a stranger looked at the jeans
Thought: I should have never worn these jeans and stick to blue ones

Reframe: These jeans look great and I can wear them whenever I want
Thinking traps addressed: should statements

Reframe: What I wear is completely up to me. I should not pressurize myself about what I ought to have done
Thinking traps addressed: should statements
Situation: I applied for a job and just got a call saying I didn't get the job.
Thought: I am not good enough for anyone.

Reframe: Being rejected is hard but I'm proud of myself for taking the steps and will try again.
Thinking traps addressed: labeling,all-or-nothing thinking

Reframe: I feel hurt and sad that I didn't get the job but there could be many reasons I didn't get it and I will work to find the right fit for me.
Thinking traps addressed: labeling,overgeneralizing
Situation: I applied for a new part-time position and took the qualifying exam but didn't pass because they  changed some of the guidelines for the job. They warned us beforehand that this may happen in the hiring process.
Thought: I thought that I should have studied harder. If I knew enough information I would pass no matter how the standards changed. It was my fault I didn't try hard enough and was furious with myself

Reframe: I prepared for this exam, but the material wasn't known to me. I may not have been able to prepare better than I had.
Thinking traps addressed: blaming,should statements

Reframe: I didn't know what would be on the exam, and it wasn't clear how I should have prepared better.
Thinking traps addressed: personalizing,blaming,should statements
Situation: I applied for a promotion but was told I haven't shown the necessary ambition yet. This happened at work where I always go the extra mile, stay late, and even work when I'm not being paid. I feel like the response to my request for a promotion was inaccurate and that I am being taken advantage of because nothing I could do is enough. I was denied the promotion by the department head who is a woman that seems to always talk down to and be rude to men at the company.
Thought: I felt as if my talents and efforts were being unrecognized by the company yet they are perfectly happy to accept all of my hard work, just not pay me what I deserve for it.

Reframe: I should acknowledge how hard I am working. My hard work and determination will help me get a promotion in the future. I just need to be patient.
Thinking traps addressed: disqualifying the positive

Reframe: Maybe there was a different candidate who deserved the promotion more than I did. I should ask the company for some feedback. Maybe it is not so personal, maybe there was just somebody who deserved it more.
Thinking traps addressed: personalizing
Situation: I ask out a co-worker who I became fond of recently but was turned down.
Thought: I won't find someone I can be with

Reframe: It hurt to be rejected and I feel lonely not having found my person yet, but I will stay open minded and put myself out there and do my best to find a good fit for me.
Thinking traps addressed: catastrophizing,all-or-nothing thinking

Reframe: I'm sad I don't get to be with that person but I will eventually find the right match.
Thinking traps addressed: fortune telling,catastrophizing,all-or-nothing thinking,emotional reasoning

Reframe: I feel sad that she turned me down but maybe this is for the best.
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion,emotional reasoning

Reframe: Getting rejected hurts. There are many reasons she could have said no. I'll recover and eventually find the person who is right for me.
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion,mind reading,personalizing
Situation: I asked my daughter a question, and she responded in a snotty way.
Thought: She doesn't love me like she used to.

Reframe: Kids say snappy things to their parents all the time. It doesn't mean I'm a bad parent or that she doesn't love me.
Thinking traps addressed: personalizing,labeling

Reframe: My daughter may have not liked the question I asked or is going through something emotionally. I should ask if she wants to talk about what's going on with her.
Thinking traps addressed: personalizing,labeling
Situation: I asked my husband to get me wine on the way home from work, but he forgot.
Thought: He is selfish

Reframe: My husband probably had a busy day at work and that is why he forgot. I should have reminded him, but that's OK, I can just get the wine tomorrow.
Thinking traps addressed: labeling

Reframe: My husband would usually remember these things. Maybe he had a bad or a busy day. I should ask him how his day was before I jump to  conclusions.
Thinking traps addressed: labeling
Situation: I became very stressed out after getting a bad score on a quiz
Thought: My grades are important and I did poorly

Reframe: This is just one test that contributes to my overall grade.
Thinking traps addressed: disqualifying the positive

Reframe: I will calm down before the next test.
Thinking traps addressed: disqualifying the positive,none