Anonymous-EmpathyAI/300-samples-cof-ref huggingface dataset:
Situation: I burnt the potatoes while cooking
Thought: I should have been perfect

Reframe: I am putting unnecessary pressure on myself. It is not possible for things to be perfect and having unrealistic standards will only make me feel bad about myself
Thinking traps addressed: should statements

Reframe: I could have been perfect, but rest of the food is still great anyways
Thinking traps addressed: should statements
Situation: I called a woman I love by accident during a bad time
Thought: She will never love me now

Reframe: This woman could have thought it was not a bad time. I can share my uncertainty with her and go from there
Thinking traps addressed: fortune telling,catastrophizing,mind reading

Reframe: I do not know how she felt about this call and can express that it was a mistake to her
Thinking traps addressed: mind reading
Situation: I called an old friend, but she wasn't home and didn't return my call.
Thought: Maybe she doesn't want to talk to me anymore.

Reframe: I hope my friend is okay. I will let her know she can call me for support or to talk if she needs it.
Thinking traps addressed: mind reading,fortune telling

Reframe: Maybe my friend has a lot going on. She will call me back when she is free to talk.
Thinking traps addressed: mind reading,fortune telling
Situation: I called my friend three times this past week but she hasn't answered or called/messaged me back yet.
Thought: Maybe she doesn't really like me as much as I thought and like her. Maybe I'm awkward.

Reframe: Maybe my friend is busy with work or school. She will probably contact me when she gets a chance. It probably has nothing to do with me.
Thinking traps addressed: mind reading

Reframe: My friend is probably busy and wants to respond when she has more time to talk to me.
Thinking traps addressed: mind reading
Situation: I came home to find my spouse had taken all of his things and left a note saying our marriage was over.
Thought: My marriage is over.

Reframe: There are serious issues in my marriage that need to be addressed. This might be the end of our marriage or maybe we can find a way to work to rehabilitate it.
Thinking traps addressed: catastrophizing

Reframe: I am feeling a lot of grief and panic about what this means. If it's the right thing to do, I will work hard to fix this relationship.
Thinking traps addressed: overgeneralizing,negative feeling or emotion
Situation: I can feel everyone becoming distant with me, including my boyfriend. He just cheated on me not even a week ago and i cant bring myself to leave him no matter what he does. He does not care. I have no family, i only ever had him. Im annoying and i am never happy with anything and i hate myself for it because i want to be happy and i want to be a good person. I can feel my heart breaking more and more as i cone to the realization that i am not wanted nor needed.
Thought: I am a problem.

Reframe: I am not a problem. I should reconnect with some friends because I feel like I'm distant from them.
Thinking traps addressed: labeling

Reframe: My boyfriend who cheated is the problem, not me.
Thinking traps addressed: labeling
Situation: I can't do anything right and I'm crying over spilling cereal on my bed and dress
Thought: I'm worthless

Reframe: Spills are a natural part of life
Thinking traps addressed: all-or-nothing thinking

Reframe: I am not a failure for spilling something
Thinking traps addressed: catastrophizing
Situation: I cant work out what my real personality is because my opinions and moods change all the time and Its like I change into different personalities kind of but its not different conciousmesses its just i dont know how to explain it but I think im insane because I dont know much about who I am because who I am changes and it can change very fast, is this normal?
Thought: i have no stable identity and I dont know why or if its normal

Reframe: It can be scary to feel like I have no identity, but I do have one whether or not I'm aware of it.
Thinking traps addressed: overgeneralizing

Reframe: It's ok to not know my exact identity. That is normal.
Thinking traps addressed: overgeneralizing
Situation: I completely overreacted to my teenage son's grades.
Thought: Why isn't this kid applying himself?

Reframe: My son may be trying his best, but may have other things going on. I should try to talk to him to make sure there is nothing he is struggling with. I do not want me son to feel alone.
Thinking traps addressed: all-or-nothing thinking

Reframe: Maybe my son is having a hard time this year. Instead of blaming him for his grades, I should try to talk to him about possibly getting a tutor. He may need some extra help outside of class, but this doesn't mean he is not trying.
Thinking traps addressed: overgeneralizing
Situation: I confronted a coworker about eating my food from the refrigerator, only to realize the custodians threw away my food the night before.
Thought: My coworkers are making fun of me now

Reframe: I don't know what my coworkers are thinking but they likely have more going on today than thinking about these conversations we had earlier.
Thinking traps addressed: mind reading,negative feeling or emotion,catastrophizing

Reframe: It was an accident and misunderstanding. I can't let this take up my entire day. I will just apologize and move on.
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion,catastrophizing
Situation: I couldn't find my bank card and realized my husband must have taken it.
Thought: He shouldn't have taken it without asking me first.

Reframe: I can ask my partner if he has my bank card, and ask for their help in finding it if they don't have it.
Thinking traps addressed: blaming

Reframe: My bank card could be in many different places and I want to check them first before making any conclusions.
Thinking traps addressed: blaming
Situation: I couldn't finish the task in time
Thought: I'm incompetent

Reframe: I may be "incompetent", but atleast I attempted the task
Thinking traps addressed: labeling

Reframe: I'm not "incompetent" as a whole. There are certain skills I possess
Thinking traps addressed: labeling
Situation: I did badly in a writing contest I entered. I did not final.
Thought: I am a bad writer.

Reframe: My submission likely had both good and bad. While I did not win this contest, I may win others in the future.
Thinking traps addressed: all-or-nothing thinking

Reframe: This may not have been my best work, but that doesn't mean I am a bad writer.
Thinking traps addressed: labeling,overgeneralizing
Situation: I did nothing with my day
Thought: Don't feel like I deserve fun/enjoyment

Reframe: I still deserve fun and enjoyment even if I did not have a productive day.
Thinking traps addressed: all-or-nothing thinking

Reframe: It is ok to take a day off and rest.
Thinking traps addressed: all-or-nothing thinking
Situation: I did things that made my group look bad
Thought: They hate me.

Reframe: What I do affects the group
Thinking traps addressed: mind reading,negative feeling or emotion,fortune telling,magnification

Reframe: I need to be more aware of my groups needs
Thinking traps addressed: mind reading,overgeneralizing,fortune telling,personalizing,magnification
Situation: I didn't complete the tasks that I had written down earlier today.
Thought: Getting abused was my fault

Reframe: I didn't do everything I had hoped to, but I did accomplish some things. Even rest is an accomplishment.
Thinking traps addressed: disqualifying the positive

Reframe: I feel disappointed today, but I can learn from my mistakes and plan better in the future.
Thinking traps addressed: fortune telling
Situation: I didn't get as good of feedback on a work assignment as I wanted
Thought: I didn't do as good a job as I thought

Reframe: I did the best I could in the moment
Thinking traps addressed: disqualifying the positive

Reframe: Some things I did well and other things need work and that is okay.
Thinking traps addressed: disqualifying the positive
Situation: I do gas stations audits and I messed up and forgot something I was supposed to do
Thought: I felt like a failure and am ashamed I made this mistake

Reframe: Everyone makes mistakes. This is something I can fix.
Thinking traps addressed: all-or-nothing thinking,negative feeling or emotion

Reframe: It makes sense I am ashamed about this mistake. I will fix it.
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion
Situation: I don't know why I am writing the essay
Thought: Nobody cares what I have to say

Reframe: Many people don't care about what I have to say. However, that is true for the vast majority of written essays
Thinking traps addressed: overgeneralizing

Reframe: Not true! People care what I have to say. My previous essay was well received
Thinking traps addressed: overgeneralizing
Situation: I don't work. I rely heavily on my partner, I'm so easily scared
Thought: I am a burden.

Reframe: I may feel like a burden, but my partner has repeatedly told me that I am not. I want to believe them.
Thinking traps addressed: labeling

Reframe: I struggle sometimes, but I am not a burden.
Thinking traps addressed: labeling
Situation: I failed in everything
Thought: I'll never be able to do anything

Reframe: Failure is a part of the process. I can learn and grow from this. I still have time to succeed.
Thinking traps addressed: disqualifying the positive

Reframe: Just because I've failed sometimes in the past doesn't make me a failure. I can learn from my mistakes and do better in the future.
Thinking traps addressed: labeling
Situation: I failed to convince my son that he should go back to college
Thought: I am failing as a parent

Reframe: I did the best I could as a parent, and part of that was empowering my child to make their own choices.
Thinking traps addressed: labeling,personalizing,catastrophizing

Reframe: I want my son to make his own choices for his life, and support him. I will see if he'd like to talk with me about what he wants from the future and what kind of support he would like from me.
Thinking traps addressed: personalizing,catastrophizing
Situation: I failed to do a work task appropriately in a side-gig.
Thought: I won't get paid

Reframe: I made a mistake this time because I am stretched too thin. Next time I will allocate more time to my side gig so it doesn't get messed up again.
Thinking traps addressed: fortune telling,catastrophizing,negative feeling or emotion

Reframe: Just because I made some mistakes doesn't mean I won't be able to fix them and still get paid. I need to check back in to see what can be done to fix this.
Thinking traps addressed: fortune telling,catastrophizing,negative feeling or emotion
Situation: I failed to turn in my planned event calendar by the due date.
Thought: I forgot something important. Again. My boss is going to kill me.

Reframe: I made a mistake but I can learn from this. I will be more efficient with my time next time so to get my work in by the deadline.
Thinking traps addressed: catastrophizing,fortune telling

Reframe: My boss may talk with me about the tardiness of my work but I will get through it.
Thinking traps addressed: catastrophizing,fortune telling
Situation: I forgot to give my boss an important message when I was at work. The customer who left the message ended up being very angry because they had a problem that needed to be resolved My boss was pretty upset with me and the customer may take his business elsewhere
Thought: I feel like a failure

Reframe: i'm not a failure, i made a mistake. i hope my boss can forgive me
Thinking traps addressed: labeling

Reframe: it makes sense that the customer and my boss were upset.
Thinking traps addressed: none
Situation: I found a job I thought was perfect for me in the field I used to work in and love very much. A few days after putting in a resume and lining up several references, I found out the job was filled and I didn't even get so much as an acknowledgment of my application much less an interview when I was extremely qualified.
Thought: why can't I ever get anything I want

Reframe: I get some things I want and some things do not work out, my life is a balance of the two.
Thinking traps addressed: all-or-nothing thinking

Reframe: There are many reasons why the position could have been filled including it was filled prior to my submission.
Thinking traps addressed: overgeneralizing
Situation: I gained a little weight while trying to diet
Thought: I'm not succeeding

Reframe: I may not be succeeding, but I'm making an effort to diet
Thinking traps addressed: all-or-nothing thinking

Reframe: I'm going to succeessfully lose weight. A little weight shouldn't affect me
Thinking traps addressed: all-or-nothing thinking
Situation: I gained weight
Thought: I feel like I need to die to be happy.

Reframe: There are some things I don't like about myself, but there are also some things I do like about myself. I can focus on those when I feel bad about myself.
Thinking traps addressed: disqualifying the positive

Reframe: My body does some amazing things. I don't always have to love the way it looks, but I can still be grateful for the things my body does for me.
Thinking traps addressed: disqualifying the positive
Situation: I get so annoyed and frustrated when my baby cries
Thought: i am a terrible mom

Reframe: Being a new mom can be stressful and overwhelming
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion

Reframe: I am exhausted from being a new parent but I’ll get thru this  stage
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion
Situation: I got a parking ticket because my sister forgot to register for overnight parking in front of my house.
Thought: I am responsible for her mistakes.

Reframe: My sister's mistake is not my responsibility.
Thinking traps addressed: blaming

Reframe: My sister made a mistake, but that doesn't mean I should be blamed.
Thinking traps addressed: blaming,personalizing
Situation: I got excessively angry at my friend for sending stupid pictures of me to a mutual friend. I felt betrayed and that was extreme
Thought: Why did I overact like this

Reframe: I was upset by this action and that is okay
Thinking traps addressed: catastrophizing

Reframe: I was upset by this and may have reacted rather than responded. I can learn from this for next time
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion
Situation: I got in a fight with my roommate over the bathroom
Thought: He's so damn inconsiderate

Reframe: My roommate may not have known that I needed to use the bathroom at the time. He probably would have given me the time to use the bathroom if I had known I needed to use it. Next time this happens, I should be transparent about my schedule.
Thinking traps addressed: labeling

Reframe: My roommate was probably upset like I was. Maybe I was the one not being considerate in the moment. I should apologize to him.
Thinking traps addressed: labeling
Situation: I got into a minor car crash.
Thought: I messed up big time.

Reframe: I only scratched the bumper. I can get that fixed easily.
Thinking traps addressed: catastrophizing

Reframe: I will drive more carefully next time.
Thinking traps addressed: none
Situation: I got upset at my boss for not putting me in a temporary promotion to act as supervisor of our team.
Thought: I wasn't valued as much as the other person.

Reframe: I should ask my boss why I was not selected for the promotion. Maybe the reason will be something other than my work ethic. Maybe my boss will reassure that I am still valuable to the company.
Thinking traps addressed: personalizing

Reframe: The promotion is temporary. Maybe my boss wants to promote me to a permanent position instead. I am still a good employee and maybe my promotion will come later.
Thinking traps addressed: personalizing
Situation: I got very upset last week when I realized that I had forgotten to fill out a required form and the date that the form was due had already passed.
Thought: they should have reminded me before I forgot

Reframe: I forgot the date, but now I know better for the future. I can complete forms right when I receive them, add the dates to my calendar, set reminders, or add them to my to-do list. Next time I will try these tactics.
Thinking traps addressed: should statements

Reframe: I should have remembered the date, but now I know that marking dates on my calender can help with this.
Thinking traps addressed: should statements
Situation: I had a breakup
Thought: I am the cause of the breakup

Reframe: I may have been the cause of the breakup, but my partner was
Thinking traps addressed: personalizing

Reframe: I shouldn't blame only me for my breakup. We both were equal partners in our relationship
Thinking traps addressed: personalizing
Situation: I had a complaint against my work which I felt unnecessary to bring to my attention as it was very minor.
Thought: There was no need to even say anything it was very minor.

Reframe: Complaints about my work do not mean that I'm a bad person or say anything about my character.
Thinking traps addressed: magnification,negative feeling or emotion

Reframe: I want to look at some of the positive aspects of my work in addition to this minor complaint.  I know that I'm doing the best I can, which includes triumphs and mistakes.
Thinking traps addressed: magnification,negative feeling or emotion
Situation: I had a disagreement about our finances with my partner at our home about a week ago that caused her to leave the apartment and not talk, call, or text me for hours.
Thought: I worried that she might break up with me and that I'd never see her again.

Reframe: Disagreements are a natural part of relationships and I cannot control how my partner reacts. We will work this out together and if we cannot, we will both be okay.
Thinking traps addressed: catastrophizing,overgeneralizing,fortune telling,negative feeling or emotion,all-or-nothing thinking,mind reading

Reframe: My partner is upset and needed space after an argument, it is okay that we process things in different ways. I trust that we will try to resolve this once we have both calmed down
Thinking traps addressed: catastrophizing,overgeneralizing,fortune telling,negative feeling or emotion,all-or-nothing thinking,mind reading
Situation: I had a huge fight with my friend and I love her so much and I called her fat and ugly and I didn't mean to, is there a condition for something like this
Thought: I'm being mean to someone I love

Reframe: I made a mistake by calling my friend something mean, but that does not mean I'm a bad friend.
Thinking traps addressed: labeling

Reframe: I was angry and said something hurtful to my friend. I need to apologize to her.
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion
Situation: I had an opportunity to get a large bonus at work but I did not do well on task so no bonus
Thought: I could have done so much better

Reframe: I feel disappointed about my performance. I tried my best and will find a way to do better in the future.
Thinking traps addressed: personalizing,all-or-nothing thinking

Reframe: I feel disappointed that I didn't get a bonus but I'm proud I tried my best and am grateful to have an opportunity to try again in the future.
Thinking traps addressed: should statements,personalizing,all-or-nothing thinking
Situation: I had been working on a project at work for a very long time, but a higher up manager contacted my boss and asked about it, insinuating I wasn't delivering it fast enough.
Thought: I'm working on this as fast as I possibly can

Reframe: I am stressed by trying to compare how fast I am working on this to how fast I think other people complete their assignments. I know I am being efficient with my time and producing good work. I need to focus on that to get this task done.
Thinking traps addressed: comparing and despairing

Reframe: The manager may have reached out because he is interested in the work I am doing but does not understand how much time it takes to complete the work.
Thinking traps addressed: disqualifying the positive
Situation: I had dinner plans cancelled by my parents because I my mom was feeling under the weather.
Thought: I never get to see her anymore.

Reframe: My parents love me and I value our relationship. I will continue to prioritize it in my calendar
Thinking traps addressed: disqualifying the positive

Reframe: I miss my mom and that is very sad. I will be diligent about rescheduling
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion
Situation: I had tentative plans to get together with friends last week, but they never got back to me.
Thought: they don't really like me

Reframe: My friends may have gotten busy and forgotten to solidify the plans. Next time, I should reach out to confirm the plans myself.
Thinking traps addressed: mind reading

Reframe: My friends may have gotten busy, but that doesn't mean they would not have made time for me. I am sure if I had double-checked, they would have made time. This does not mean that they don't like me.
Thinking traps addressed: mind reading,all-or-nothing thinking
Situation: I have a flight in the evening
Thought: Something will go wrong on my flight today

Reframe: Even if something goes wrong on the flight, it won't be catastrophic. Let's hope I arrive safely at my destination.
Thinking traps addressed: fortune telling

Reframe: My flight will be exciting and adventourous. I'm looking forward to see what transpires
Thinking traps addressed: fortune telling
Situation: I have anxiety, depression, disordered eating, and when I asked if I have ptsd my therapist said I have (whatever). The longest job I had was five months, and majority of my jobs have been part time seasonal work. about as long as worked anywhere else too. I get bored, and my mental illnesses make it hard too.
Thought: I’ll never be able to hold a job.

Reframe: My mental illnesses make some things harder for me, but I will be able to find a job that is a good fit for me.
Thinking traps addressed: catastrophizing

Reframe: I'm going through a hard time right now, but that does not mean I won't be able to hold a job eventually.
Thinking traps addressed: fortune telling
Situation: I have been studying for months for the real estate exam. When I went to take it, I did not pass by two points.
Thought: I really have to pass, I need to work.

Reframe: I can retake the exam. I have prepared for it, and now I can be more prepared to take it in the future.
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion

Reframe: I will focus on preparing to retake this exam. Once I have passed it, I will be able to work.
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion
Situation: I have been trying to get a hold of a friend to help me with a project for over a week, but he won't return my calls or texts.
Thought: He is avoiding me

Reframe: I only asked him a week ago and I know he has a lot going on. I should check back in with him next week to see if he has the time to help me out right now.
Thinking traps addressed: mind reading,overgeneralizing,catastrophizing

Reframe: My friend may be busy right now. I should try to ask another friend.
Thinking traps addressed: mind reading,overgeneralizing,catastrophizing
Situation: I have depression and anxiety. The past 3 weeks have been especially tough depression wise, due to some out of our control stressors. spent a lot of time in bed while my kids were in school, just doing the bare minimum.  Meanwhile, my very supportive husband has been picking up my slack. I feel as though I nearly contribute to the household chores as much as I should, though I thank him constantly for his work.  Any words of wisdom or encouragement?
Thought: I feel like a bad wife and mom

Reframe: I am doing my best given my current circumstances. That does not mean I'm a bad wife or mom.
Thinking traps addressed: emotional reasoning,labeling

Reframe: I am going through a difficult time right now. It is ok that I am not doing as much for the family as much as I'd like to.
Thinking traps addressed: emotional reasoning,labeling