Anonymous-EmpathyAI/300-samples-cof-ref huggingface dataset:
Situation: Last week I made a special dinner at my house for my family to enjoy but I overcooked the food.
Thought: after 30 years since I first started learning how to cook I am still ruining meals.

Reframe: I prepared a meal for my family, and while I might have overcooked it, it was probably an enjoyable experience for us to spend time together having that meal.
Thinking traps addressed: disqualifying the positive,negative feeling or emotion,magnification

Reframe: I made a mistake of overcooking the food, it happens to everyone. It is difficult to prepare meals perfectly, every time.
Thinking traps addressed: overgeneralizing,negative feeling or emotion
Situation: Last week I talked to a girl at a bar but was rejected by her
Thought: I am undesirable

Reframe: While I was rejected now, I know I am not undesirable. I have many desirable qualities.
Thinking traps addressed: labeling,negative feeling or emotion,all-or-nothing thinking,overgeneralizing

Reframe: While I was rejected, that doesn't make me undesirable. This situation does not define me.
Thinking traps addressed: labeling,negative feeling or emotion,overgeneralizing
Situation: Last week my sister and I facetime. I didnt show much interest. Later that day, my cousin told me that my sister was sad because of my behavior.
Thought: I made my sister sad

Reframe: I may have not paid as much attention to my sister as I normally do and it sounds like this made her feel bad. I made a mistake and my sister and I trust each other enough to resolve this
Thinking traps addressed: mind reading,personalizing,overgeneralizing

Reframe: My sister would tell me directly if something was bothering her, we can talk through this next time we have a conversation. Sometimes people may feel sad by what I say, and that is mostly out of my control.
Thinking traps addressed: mind reading,personalizing,overgeneralizing
Situation: Last week, my co-worker was invited to participate in a workshop and I was not.
Thought: My co-worker is better than me.

Reframe: There are many reasons why I was not invited to participate in a workshop, one of which may be that my company does not feel I need training on this topic.
Thinking traps addressed: comparing and despairing,personalizing

Reframe: This one event does not reflect my value as an employee
Thinking traps addressed: labeling,personalizing
Situation: Lost best friend murdered this time of year in 2017.
Thought: My parents are judging me

Reframe: It's normal to feel intense emotion after experiencing something traumatic like this. I can give myself time and space to heal.
Thinking traps addressed: emotional reasoning

Reframe: This was a horrible thing to go through, but I'll get through this. I've made it this far and I will keep going.
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion
Situation: Meeting an old friend, that I hadn't seen in 21 years for lunch.
Thought: what if i have nothing to say, what if we don't click anymore, what if this goes badly.

Reframe: it could go badly. it could also go well. who knows
Thinking traps addressed: fortune telling

Reframe: maybe i'll have fun. we were friends in the past for a reason.
Thinking traps addressed: fortune telling,catastrophizing
Situation: My Dentist told me I'd need a root canal procedure.
Thought: I'm going to have to endure some physical and financial pain.

Reframe: The root canal will help improve my oral health in the long run, and maybe eating won't hurt so bad!
Thinking traps addressed: catastrophizing

Reframe: My dentist may have some numbing medication so I may not feel the procedure. My insurance is likely to cover at least part of the payment.
Thinking traps addressed: fortune telling
Situation: My boss interrupted my break to tell me to work
Thought: I feel guilty

Reframe: I'm feeling guilty, but I don't think I did anything wrong
Thinking traps addressed: emotional reasoning

Reframe: I'm feeling guilty, but this may simply be a feeling and I may not have done anything wrong
Thinking traps addressed: emotional reasoning
Situation: My boss on the construction site was very mean and aggressive with me.
Thought: I must not have been doing a good job

Reframe: My boss may be angry about something else, I know I have been doing a good job.
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion

Reframe: My boss is in a bad mood, that doesn't mean I am responsible.
Thinking traps addressed: personalizing
Situation: My boss pointed out an unintentional error in my work
Thought: This work is a failure

Reframe: The presence or absence of an error doesn't make a work a success or a failure. I can fix it and improve
Thinking traps addressed: all-or-nothing thinking

Reframe: This work is going great and a small error shouldn't be of concern. I'll fix it and things will improve.
Thinking traps addressed: all-or-nothing thinking
Situation: My boss pointed out an unintentional error in my work.
Thought: I am incapable of doing anything right.

Reframe: It's okay for me to make mistakes. I'm only human.
Thinking traps addressed: all-or-nothing thinking,labeling

Reframe: Making mistakes does not mean that I'm a bad worker, incompetent, or incapable of success.
Thinking traps addressed: all-or-nothing thinking,overgeneralizing,labeling,personalizing
Situation: My boss yelled at me
Thought: I'm feeling sad

Reframe: It's okay to feel sad when being yelled at. I will get through this
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion

Reframe: Not a great situation to get yelled at, but everyone does it sometimes
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion
Situation: My boyfriend and I were supposed to go out last night and I got very aggravated at the change of plans and that he pushed back the time.
Thought: he didn't respect our initial commitment

Reframe: it makes sense that i was aggravated because of the changes. it doesnt mean he doesnt respect our initial commitment. something might have come up
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion

Reframe: my boyfriend respects our commitment. something probably came up
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion
Situation: My boyfriend didn't reply back to me instantly.
Thought: If I text my boyfriend too much, he will get bored of me.

Reframe: My boyfriend didn't reply back to my text right away, therefore he must be busy and will likely text back when he is able.
Thinking traps addressed: fortune telling

Reframe: I know my boyfriend typically texts me back right away and has told me he enjoys receiving my texts. However, since he didn't text me back immediately, I will give him time to respond and if he doesn't text back in 1 hr then I will try to reach out again.
Thinking traps addressed: mind reading
Situation: My boyfriend made fun of me for losing a game. I got upset and we had an argument.
Thought: I'm really bad at everything I do.

Reframe: There are things in my life that I do well, and I feel confident and proud of those things.
Thinking traps addressed: all-or-nothing thinking,labeling

Reframe: It's okay for me to lose a game. I can be good at some things and not as good at other things.
Thinking traps addressed: all-or-nothing thinking,overgeneralizing
Situation: My boyfriend told me that I shouldn't clean the bathroom and to go and deal with the kids.
Thought: He doesn't think that I'm capable of watching the kids and cleaning the kitchen at the same time.

Reframe: i can do both at the same time.
Thinking traps addressed: none

Reframe: my boyfriend should deal with the kids right now. i'm busy.
Thinking traps addressed: none
Situation: My boyfriend went to visit his son and wound up spending the entire day with his son and his son's mother while ignoring my phone calls.
Thought: I thought he was cheating on me

Reframe: It is good my boyfriend is spending time with his son. He will probably call me when he has some free time.
Thinking traps addressed: mind reading

Reframe: My boyfriend spending time with his son is important to him. Seeing his son and his ex does not mean he is cheating on me, it is a part of co-parenting and my boyfriend still loves me.
Thinking traps addressed: mind reading
Situation: My brother and I have been really getting into a lot of fights. This past weekend he blew up again because he thought I was talking over him, but he does it all the time to me. I was upset because of his temper tantrums again, it has been happening too much over the past few or more years. He is supposed to act like an adult now and he isn't. I can't really talk to him anymore because I fear that he will explode, although he does t anyways.
Thought: I am so angry that he is such a hypocrite. He doesn't realize he is guilty of the same things he explodes about.

Reframe: When my brother isn't have a tantrum, I want to give him feedback about how his behavior makes me feel, and try to repair our relationship.
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion

Reframe: I'm upset with my brother's behavior and it's difficult to have a relationship with him. I can set boundaries with how often I talk with him or engage with him.
Thinking traps addressed: none
Situation: My crush doesn't like me back
Thought: Never finding love

Reframe: This person I liked didn't like me back.  I am worthy of being loved and it will happen when the time is right.  There are plenty of people that I haven't even met yet who could love me.
Thinking traps addressed: all-or-nothing thinking

Reframe: Just because the person I like doesn't like me back doesn't mean I won't ever find love again.  I know that I will eventually find someone I love and who loves me back.   I just need to be patient.
Thinking traps addressed: overgeneralizing
Situation: My dad is in the next room in his hospice bed and im afraid of not doing everything right.
Thought: Am I doing enough

Reframe: I care about my dad a lot and and I want to do what's best for him. I might not be perfect all the time, but I know I'm doing the best I can.
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion,magnification

Reframe: When I worry whether or not I'm doing enough, I am going to ask my dad to help me make a list of what he regularly needs during the day and things I can do that would make him feel comfortable.
Thinking traps addressed: personalizing
Situation: My daughter lied to me about a photo on her phone because she was embarrassed
Thought: she doesnt want to share things with me

Reframe: My daughter may not be ready to share this with me right now. She is embarrassed and may come to me when she is ready.
Thinking traps addressed: overgeneralizing

Reframe: My daughter is embarrassed. That is why she does not want to share this with me. There are likely other things she wants to share with me, but she will not want to share everything with me right away. That is part of growing up, and that is OK.
Thinking traps addressed: personalizing
Situation: My daughter refused to do anything I instructed her to and embarrassed me greatly before guests I was hosting.
Thought: If I cannot control her now, I have lost her perhaps forever

Reframe: I am not a bad parent just because of this experience. I'm trying my best and that's ok.
Thinking traps addressed: overgeneralizing,catastrophizing

Reframe: I am not going to lose my daughter because of this behavior. This is standard child behavior.
Thinking traps addressed: overgeneralizing,catastrophizing
Situation: My daughter spilled a drink on my desk.
Thought: She ruined my project

Reframe: I should have been watching my daughter more closely if I knew she had her drink close to my desk and I knew I had an important project there. I should not be upset with her, mistakes happen and I know better for next time.
Thinking traps addressed: blaming

Reframe: I should not have had my daughter have her drink so close to my project. She should have been more careful, but  I could have prevented this in the first place.
Thinking traps addressed: blaming
Situation: My daughter's illness
Thought: worry about a disabled family member

Reframe: I’d like to empower my daughter to help her advocate for her own healthcare issues Meanwhile I can research her illness to better understand what she is going thru
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion

Reframe: I worry about my daughter and her illness and I need to sit down with her to see how I can support her
Thinking traps addressed: none
Situation: My diet is not working
Thought: I feel like a failure

Reframe: Feelings may not be a representation of what is actually happening. I think I am thinking that because I feel like a failure I must be a failure, which may not be true
Thinking traps addressed: emotional reasoning

Reframe: I'm feeling like a failure, but I may well be on the road to success in reality
Thinking traps addressed: emotional reasoning
Situation: My father was being abusive to me
Thought: I can't do anything right. I am a disappointment.

Reframe: These negative emotions are there to protect me, but I can also learn to open myself up to positive experiences in the future.
Thinking traps addressed: fortune telling

Reframe: It's natural to want to protect myself after experiencing abuse. Not everyone is like my father. I can get the help I need to be open to healthy relationships.
Thinking traps addressed: overgeneralizing
Situation: My financial situation is going out of hand
Thought: I'm worried about my future

Reframe: I have been in difficult financial situations before and turned them around.  I have learned from those experiences and I have something to learn from my current situation that could change my future circumstances.
Thinking traps addressed: fortune telling

Reframe: I have made positive changes in other areas of my financial picture.  Opting for payroll deductions into the company's pension plan will help to alleviate my concerns about the future.
Thinking traps addressed: disqualifying the positive
Situation: My first boyfriend and I broke up a few years ago
Thought: My partner will leave me if my depression doesn't go away soon.

Reframe: Did boyfriend 6 yrs ago leave due to the  your depression too?
Thinking traps addressed: fortune telling

Reframe: He needs to be more support of you with your depression
Thinking traps addressed: mind reading
Situation: My friend and I had made plans months ago to go to a basketball game. The day before the game he calls me and says he cant go because he forgot he made plans with his wife. I started yelling at him and told him these tickets were expensive and you promised me. I was really angry for cancelling last minute because he has done this in the past
Thought: I get upset when people cant keep there promises. The plans he made were not that critical. Why put me in a tough bind

Reframe: I am a person that values keeping commitments but not everyone has the lifestyle or ability to skillfully do that.
Thinking traps addressed: blaming,personalizing,negative feeling or emotion

Reframe: I am hurt that my friend canceled our plans.  But, I am mainly distressed that it put me in a tough financial bind. Maybe I should reach out to him to see if he would still be willing to pay for his ticket since he backed out without giving me enough time to sell it to someone else.
Thinking traps addressed: personalizing,negative feeling or emotion
Situation: My friend and I were looking at apartments. His first choice for apartments was one that was too small for my life goals, as I could not set up an office in it. He wanted the better room in the apartment.
Thought: He only cares about himself.

Reframe: I want to live with this friend because he has many good qualities and finding house is just very stressful
Thinking traps addressed: disqualifying the positive,overgeneralizing

Reframe: We both wanted the better room in the apartment for our own reasons which may just mean this is not  a good apartment for us
Thinking traps addressed: overgeneralizing
Situation: My friend asked for advice, but I was unable to provide it
Thought: I'm completely self-centered and thoughtless

Reframe: I may have come across as self-centered and thoughtless. But I'm happy that my friend still sought my advice
Thinking traps addressed: all-or-nothing thinking

Reframe: I'm quite thoughtful. I was just not able to provide advice this time, but I'm generally good
Thinking traps addressed: all-or-nothing thinking
Situation: My friend asked for help and I denied
Thought: I'm self-centered

Reframe: I may be "self-centered" but I did the right thing
Thinking traps addressed: labeling

Reframe: Just because I refused to help a friend, doesn't mean I'm "self-centered"
Thinking traps addressed: labeling
Situation: My friends invited me to go bowling this Saturday
Thought: I bet all my friends will be amazing at bowling apart from me

Reframe: I'm going to beat all my friends tomorrow. Let me start practicing now
Thinking traps addressed: mind reading

Reframe: I'm predicting that my friends will all do better, but I will only know it on Saturday
Thinking traps addressed: mind reading
Situation: My girlfriend came home later than usual after work and didn't bother to call and let me know or answer the phone when I called to check on her. She acted like it was not big deal after she came home.
Thought: My girlfriend is hiding something from me.

Reframe: I am feeling hurt by her actions and can discuss that with her rather than try to analyze her behavior
Thinking traps addressed: emotional reasoning

Reframe: My girlfriend may have been very busy at work today and I can talk with her about how this made me feel
Thinking traps addressed: overgeneralizing,catastrophizing
Situation: My girlfriend is getting a new job in a distant city.
Thought: This is going to cause us to break up.

Reframe: I'm anxious that my partner's relocation could damage our relationship.
Thinking traps addressed: catastrophizing

Reframe: My girlfriend cares about me and we will figure this out together
Thinking traps addressed: catastrophizing
Situation: My girlfriend said I was a taker when I said she did not emotionally support me before going to a movie last Saturday.
Thought: My girlfriend will leave me.

Reframe: she will not leave me. this is something that can make our relationship stronger.
Thinking traps addressed: fortune telling,catastrophizing,mind reading

Reframe: This is one argument. We can talk more about this when I get home,
Thinking traps addressed: fortune telling,catastrophizing,mind reading,negative feeling or emotion
Situation: My girlfriend was distracted by other men at the gym.
Thought: I'm not attractive enough.

Reframe: My partner is attracted to me otherwise she would not be in a relationship with me
Thinking traps addressed: mind reading,personalizing

Reframe: People are attracted to other people without taking action on it or thinking less of their monogamous partners
Thinking traps addressed: overgeneralizing,personalizing
Situation: My girlfriend was ignoring me for a while.
Thought: She didn't like me anymore.

Reframe: If my girlfriend doesn't like me anymore, I trust that she will tell me that and not just ignore me. Guessing at what others are thinking is not fair to either one of us.
Thinking traps addressed: mind reading,negative feeling or emotion,all-or-nothing thinking,overgeneralizing,labeling,fortune telling,personalizing

Reframe: My girlfriend has not responded, but I should be patient and not jump to conclusions about what this means until I talk to her
Thinking traps addressed: mind reading,negative feeling or emotion,all-or-nothing thinking,overgeneralizing,labeling,fortune telling,personalizing
Situation: My girlfriend was sad that I wanted to go out with my friends, and started a fight.
Thought: Why can't I have fun? Why must I stay home all the time?

Reframe: I wonder if there's something I'm missing in our dynamic. It's important to talk about how she feels when I go out, and is there something else that's not working in our relationship.
Thinking traps addressed: overgeneralizing,personalizing

Reframe: My girlfriend is telling me that she's feeling sad that I'm going out, I wonder if she's feeling left out or lonely. We should talk about how she's feeling.
Thinking traps addressed: overgeneralizing,personalizing
Situation: My girlfriend wasnt texting anyone, and did not get me anniversary present
Thought: I am scared my girlfriend is going to break up with me because I dont do much for her.

Reframe: My girlfriend isn’t texting me back as quickly as she usually does She must be breaking up w/ me or just very busy
Thinking traps addressed: all-or-nothing thinking

Reframe: … or even she could’ve been kidnapped too!???
Thinking traps addressed: catastrophizing,magnification
Situation: My grandfather died one year ago
Thought: I am scared something bad will happen to the people I love

Reframe: When someone I love dies I worry something bad will happen to the ones I love
Thinking traps addressed: catastrophizing,fortune telling

Reframe: Just because my grandpa died now other bad thing I worry will happen to my loved ones now
Thinking traps addressed: fortune telling
Situation: My grandma died a few years ago and my aunt recently had major surgery.
Thought: I'm scared of losing loved ones

Reframe: I am afraid of losing any more loved ones.  My aunt had major surgery but she will recover.  It's not realistic to think something bad is going to happen just because my grandmother died.
Thinking traps addressed: catastrophizing

Reframe: I don't want to lose any more loved ones.  I may feel afraid right now but I won't always be afraid.
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion
Situation: My guitar teacher told me I needed to correct my posture
Thought: I've been practicing but I'm not making any progress

Reframe: I feel self conscious that my teacher is pointing out places to improve but that is this person's job!
Thinking traps addressed: all-or-nothing thinking

Reframe: I'm glad my teacher is helping me find ways to improve.
Thinking traps addressed: disqualifying the positive,overgeneralizing
Situation: My husband and his friends are always speaking Spanish in front of me and I cannot understand anything
Thought: they are saying things in front of me that they don't want me to know or understand

Reframe: My husband is trustworthy and would not be deceitful towards me
Thinking traps addressed: negative feeling or emotion,overgeneralizing

Reframe: There are many reasons why native Spanish speakers may want to speak Spanish to each other that are not about me.
Thinking traps addressed: overgeneralizing,personalizing
Situation: My husband asked me to make sure I cleaned the cutting board better.
Thought: I do so much around here and you are harping about the cutting board?

Reframe: It is possible I did not clean the cutting board well because I have many other responsibilities and that is okay
Thinking traps addressed: blaming

Reframe: My husband can both appreciate what I do and ask for a need to be met
Thinking traps addressed: disqualifying the positive
Situation: My husband cancelled our wedding anniversary dinner.
Thought: The thought that he does not care about me anymore.

Reframe: My husband canceling our plans doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't care about me anymore. We have a lot going on right now. I need to talk with him about how we can find ways to spend more time together.
Thinking traps addressed: mind reading,overgeneralizing,catastrophizing

Reframe: I am disappointed he canceled our plans but I should talk with him to understand why he canceled and what alternative plans we may be able to make together.
Thinking traps addressed: overgeneralizing,catastrophizing
Situation: My husband did something for me" even if it's clear I didn't want it."
Thought: I don't know why I keep trying. I should just give up. Surrender. Sleep forever.

Reframe: Atleast you have a husband trying to do things for you
Thinking traps addressed: catastrophizing

Reframe: Giving up here it sounds like she is suicidal “sleep forever “ not good thinking in my eyes
Thinking traps addressed: catastrophizing