a taster, I will quote part of a story from the expat expert herself, Robin Pascoe, confronted with a surprise house guest: "'So what you are saying,' said the husband, choosing his words carefully, 'is that you know a friend of a friend of the girlfriend of the son of our friends.' 'Yes.' The husband glared at his wife and was about to say something to her when the young man spoke first: 'Does this mean I can't have something to eat?'" I will close now, as I have to go to the airport to collect some friends. Wish me luck. Chris runs an expat blog about life in Spain and is a regular contributor to a number of publications and radio stations in Spain As well as writing this monthly column for the Telegraph Expat site he is a Telegraph Expat guest blogger . He lives in Almerimar with his wife Sands, four cats, two Harleys and more often than not a glass of red.