counselor is open to feedback and to learning that something he or she said hurt or offended you. Good therapists are willing to look at themselves, to check their feelings, and to honestly and openly admit mistakes. 6. Does the counselor encourage dependence or independence? Good therapy doesn't solve your problems; it helps you to solve your own. Likewise, good therapy doesn't soothe your overwhelming feelings; it helps you learn to soothe your own feelings. Like the old proverb, therapy is most powerful when it helps people to learn to fish for themselves rather than rely on another to feed them. If your counselor provides wisdom, answers, or emotional support without encouraging you to access your own resources, it is more likely you will become dependent on your therapist to help you feel better, rather than learning to depend on yourself. 7. Has your counselor done his or her own therapy? One of the best ways to learn how to help someone to heal is to do your own therapy and to experience the healing process firsthand. Thus, therapists who have been in their own therapy benefit from this as a learning experience and are probably better equipped to help because of it. Most good healers are wounded healers -- those who, in the process of healing their own wounds, have developed the know-how to help others to heal theirs. 8. Does the therapist have experience helping others with the particular issues for which you are seeking therapy? The more