deeper. My situation is quite complex but nowhere near as crazy as yours and I know I deserve better treatment. Why don't you love yourself enough to realize that you deserve to "live"? You need to see that about yourself and see that what he is doing is destroying you inside, and (in no doubt) your son. I haven't gone through what you have, but if you read what you have posted as if it was someone else, what would you say to them? Is there any way to reconcile that kind of abuse? Obviously not. The choice is yours, but ask yourself; do you really want to waist anymore of your life feeling that kind of pain from one who professes to be your husband? If you decide to leave but you're not sure how to do it, or how to afford it, go down to the state care or workforce services and ask to speak with or direct you to someone who can help you in your abusive situation. You have your rights and can go down and speak with someone in the police department. There are so many who are willing to help women like you. The hardest part is making that decission that enough is enough. Once you do, it is a painful and liberating process that gets better. *hugs* my heart goes out to you. I hope you are able to find the stregnth you need. My husband and I have been together for 12