that. I think the other thing to remember is that old 'treat em mean keep em keen' saying.  I think this is true -as soon as someone is too besotted I go off them [all my life I felt like that]  I like to be chased, but then I need them to be cool too.  I think with my current lover that I really want him to say he loves me so much hwe will leave but then if he were really demanding and saying let's do it I would go off the idea. I had a major cursh on a guy a year ago -we met and stuff, but I could never quite get him and it drove me crazy. My gay best friend said I wanted him cos I couldn't have him -which is so true cos he would never have made a good match really and I knew that. As to the 'fantasy' that Ivan talks of  -yes this is absolutley what humans do.  we project our 'ideal' image onto the real person and for a bit we see them as the answer -perfect beyond reality.  This is why most marriages turn out to be different to the image we had of them. I am actually now scared that my lover is doing this with me -he seems to worship me anad I am not so great -you know! I am a slob, selfish, moody, and will probably go off sex eventually just as his wife has...