control. The thought terrifies me. I am in very similar situation to you. I drink every night and have done for years. Afraid to give up entirely but "cutting down" doesn't work for me. It's crazy that alcohol is the only "drug" in the world that once you give it up you are "labelled"!!! If you give up smoking or coffee or some other legal "drug" you are congratulated....with alcohol you are treated like a weakling. I read a great book recently, Jason Vale "How to Quit Drinking.....Easily". It gives a lot of thought provoking advice and changes your attitude. I am still drinking after reading it but I am questionning it more and not thinking of it as "a friend" as much. I would not be too hard on yourself if you do set a date and then don't quit after all. You can always try again and each time you will learn different triggers and emotions and issues that you will be able to resolve. The important thing is to try again and keep trying. I agree, keep trying. I used to drink alone, lots.. I rarely do now & although when i first started to try to stop it was hell, now when the ache starts about 6pm I tell myself no, the feeling will pass. I find myself something good to do.. a bath and a good book is a treat and not opening a bottle of mine (just one glass won't hurt ) I am