as working on marriage. I think we are on the same boat except, I have no idea if I am capable of repairing and improving my marriage to the point that I can be fulfilled, sounds like that you have a better quality of marriage than me. My husband is very numb about relationships, which makes it hard to work with. The desire of enjoying a marriage is too different between us. I have lived half empty marriage and do not know what I can do to fulfill the other half. I am still in my 30s, I have desire of sex, but I hardly can get any from my husband. But I need a husband, not old brother or a father. -- It hurts when I think about it. Compare what I had with my friend. It made it harder. I do not where to start. I could use some advice in this aspect if  you have any. At worst case, I will have to wait another 10 years before my kids are in college, then I may be able to get out of the marriage and find real happiness? Or never? I do not know. I wrote above about my two year affair (I am a male).  It is very fresh.  Basically two weeks since we last spoke.  I am crushed.  I can barely carry on a conversation or function.  I miss her every second of every day.  And yet I know it was never real and that