very genuine difficulties in their relationships from feeling "safe" in airing their concerns and seeking the support of other site users. If you have issues you would like to discuss which are not relevant to the original subject of a particular thread, please start a new thread around that topic. Thanks to all of you who provide genuine discussion and support for other users, as this is very much the purpose of the site and can be enormously helpful to those in difficulty. ok. (Ivan, you are having me on... please...) What is the real topic? what are the real issues? How are you really feeling? What are the various peripheral issues? what is blocking a possible resolution? These are the real questions I seek to uncover and address, and these are the questions I am seeking to explore through various means. If some of you are offended or challenged and want to have a personal stab at some of the stuff I bring up- my personal approach or methodology- then I dont have a problem- you are a part of the group. But I feel my contribution is relevant, valid and important to the dialogue here and I will not give up just because you take issue through an increased sense of discomfort. What I attempt to do is to bring it all back to where you are at from a different perspective. It is up to you to process it and use it, add commentaries and other perspectives,