my desk at 2pm, he is not the One. Then I go into complete overkill and start thinking all the negative things about this person - and why I should not be in love with him and why I should chose someone else to be in love with. It was kind of funny to me before when I was younger, but at my age now - this is not I guess how a woman should behave. And yesterday's message to my ex, I guess I just hit a whole new low - because he is one person I really don't want to toy with. I hurt him enough when we were young, so I dont want to break up his family etc etc, just to fall out of love with him a couple of days later. Please someone tell me - what is this? Why do I do this? How can I stop it - ideally before/not after the fantasizing and the dreaming and the total incapacitation. I had soooo many things to do yesterday and I wasted the whole day on dreaming about sth which is not real. I do that a lot. Well, that s what I am worried about?! I guess I started doing this when things were s&*& when I was young. I used to lock myself away and dream away for example that an old granny would give me like 100 for helping her across the street...and I used to dream and dream what things