and once you've done that you can figure out how to be it. CBT and especially DBT can help people to deal with automatic thoughts of worthlessness and helplessness. Counselling or psychotherapy can help you deal with traumatic events from the past. You can learn ways to be more assertive, more tolerant or manage your anger. Anti depressants can help some people deal with low mood, others find courses of antipsychotics or mood stabilizers helpful. Some people reject medication altogether - it's all good. You might find it worthwhile to learn alternate coping mechanisms if you turn to drugs / alcohol / cutting / sex with total strangers to make yourself feel better. Everyone's problems are different, and everyone needs different types of help to deal with them. But there's no one pill or therapy that can sort out all of your problems, and nobody can put a time limit on how long it'll take. There will always be aspects of yourself that you don't like - just like as the rest of the population. The trick is to minimise the impact of the 'bad' side, and maximise your skills and abilities. Good mental health help should assist you to do that. People are right in saying that there's no cure for a personality disorder. That's true, because it wouldn't be ethical, productive, desirable or beneficial to force someone into having a different personality -even if it were possible. What you can do is build up your strengths, learn to