for me to talk about it like it was normal - it's been three years now, and the last year was SO MUCH EASIER. There were plenty of funny things at the funeral - the resident church show=off cracked a high note and I was trying so hard not to laugh that I almost dropped the casket, the hearse started to back-slide down the hill when it went to drive off, etc. There were plenty of horrible moments too, but I don't want to only remember those, just like I don't want to only remember my dad as My Dad - I want to remember the funny, smart, complicated person that he was, too. I would say the first year, I didn't even grieve. I was too angry, and too busy dealing with the fallout from my mother. The first month, she basically moved into my house and didn't leave. This led to much public transport crying, and also an episode where I went away for a camp, had five minutes to myself, and lost my shit. It was a truly movie-worthy scene, where I ran off into the forest in the middle of a storm to shout and sob. Until I cried so much I threw up, I wouldn't put that in the movie! @OhShesArtsy et al that situation is hard. The thing I have learnt about grief is that it's a force all it's own. It doesn't ask for permission and it isn't predictable. If you feel grief,