- just dont ever get involved in an affair. Suzzy I am new here, spent about an hour reading these posts.  Long and complicated story [24 years together but always up and down] and yes, I was looking for some comfort and solutions on this site.  Not knowing how all of your stories were going to end as started at the beginning -certainly didn't see myself posting a comment at the end! BUT, must say to Suzzy, hang in there.  You are at the lowest point and it is so awful to be judged by others when they do not realise how unhappy you felt and the torment you have been through.  Betrayal by a lover is one of the worst things -it has happened to me and my world fell apart for quite a while. You lose your confidence and hate yourself.  BUT you need to go for counselling and work through things and you will learn to love yourself again.  At least you have found out his true colours before setting up home with him.  It is going to be like a bereavement, but in time, it will be the distant past and you will look back and think what the hell did I ever see in him.  People will eventually forget the scandal and life will go on...  good luck To the above. Not that I am glad it has happened to you but it is of some comfort. Right now I feel like S***. Feel a