when she meets somebody new if we are not together. I often think I would not find this half as bad if she was going back to her husband because it would be a loveless marriage (Doesnt that sound terrible). I do truly love her and I know True Love means that if you cant be with that person you should want them to be happy but I do struggle with that and it hurts me to say it. Anyway she is away for 2 days now and we have promised each other a decision when she gets back and hand on heart my gut feeling says I wont do it. Its breaking my heart. I just cant see how I can function without her in my life and yet ........ Its the thought that not only am I giving up my lover but she is genuinly my best friend. I am also giving up those goosebumps I get every time I see her (still). God bless her she has been with me for 5 years now and she just needs to know. And I totally understand. Totally. But I am completely and utterly stuck. Emily,April - Its also nice to read your comments and it is some comfort to realise we are all in or have been in similar situations. Sorry if I just bwriting about me at the moment its just that I am pretty consumed by it at the moment for obvious reasons (clock ticking!) I think