commit and include your kids, so he's not worth your tears." then I have little voices that argue back "maybe you're rushing it! you should give him more time!" Though I am coping OK and still manage to laugh today but i still think and wonder about him throughout the day. And I still peep at my mobile to check if there is any text. But I will not initiate any contact. I want him to make the first move. How are you feeling this evening? Keep writing. I find writing it out really helps. Following my note above, I have spoken to him again and now for some reason I am feeling angry towards him. He seems to feel we can just go back to being friends and that our families can go on meeting up as usual! He is sorry it has had to end and will miss it but it can not start up again. Worse thing is I found myself almost begging him to have me back! How low can I get, not only being a crap friend but also not respecting myself! I mean I still love him so much and would have him back in a shot, but to beg! I will never regret being with him, as it has made me realise the problems I have with my marriage but I surely am worth more that a quick shag in the back of a car. Sorry.... worse thing is, tomorrow I will probably