Cottonelle care routine is the act of using  toilet paper AND flushable wipes together (Hooray for more waste!) in order "to experience a clean so fresh that everyone will be inspired to name it." You know, like when you look down at your own asshole and think, "Man, that thing is so clean, I just gotta name that routine!" THIS IS AN ACTUAL MARKETING CAMPAIGN! They've even rounded up "celebrity" host of HGTV's Cash & Cari (I have no idea what that is) Cari Cucksey to be the public face of their clean your butthole contest. As Cari actually notes in the Cottonelle press release : Has a very clean bumhole. "I've always enjoyed helping people discover hidden treasures. [Really?!] So I was excited to partner with Cottonelle to inspire people to try one of my bathroom secrets - using Cottonelle Fresh Care Flushable Wipes together with Cottonelle Ultra Comfort Care Toilet Paper to bring on a whole new level of freshness," says Cucksey. "I call this combination 'Ready Fresh Go.' What will you name it?" I call it WIPING MY ASS, CARI! "Shhh, don't tell anyone but this has been a secret of Cari's for a while: She cleans her bum after she poops. Shhh." Now, I'd like to think I'm far from a prude, I can handle potty mouth and bathroom talk as well as the next fellow, but do we really need this level of discourse on television in order to buy the best toilet paper? Are