chapter, is the use of abbreviation in dialogue. The use of 'Capt.' and 'Col.' in speech is distracting me from having a good read. No one would go around speaking like that. it may work in outside dialogue, 'remarked Col. Howe', but when trying to speak the works, it doesn't in my opinion. That's the only fault that stuck out at me. Good one. will place immediately on my watchlist. Pat Grimoire Review: Acts of the Servant: Volume One of This Iron Race Tamburlaine MacGregor : Edited by Edwyn Crabtree I understand and appreciate the use of language in creating a specific mood, imitating a time period or style of writing -- and you achieve it beautifully. I did stumble over a few awkward sentences that gave me pause, and took note, should you wish to revisit them. Not to change your style of writing, but only to enhance it. As I find things I like or don't, I keep track by simply making a list and jotting down my thoughts. **Prologue** -"His leather gloves stain on the beads of wet clinging to the door-ring," -- makes no sense to me. -His mind "unshackled from reality" -- I really, really like this. -I'm enjoying Wolfe's inner struggle -- and the revelation that his father had beaten God into him, forcing the otherworld and its lures out. And a well-placed scream at just the right time, as all the wandering in the fog and talk of superstitious dolls seemed to being