may scare hi off and might mean its all over but if so, I am not going to die, will I? And that will finally show how strong his love is for me. It's going to hurt because I know its too much, too soon to ask for such huge commitment from him but I can't help it. I am prepared to give up for him, is he willing to give up for me? Yes I've told my bestfriends and family about my position. They don't agree with what I am doing. How are you feeling today? And what do you intend to do to make things better with your husband at home? Well, feel calm. Last night was relatively ok. I too have told a few select people. Opinions vary. Not really sure how I feel about home. The main problem is, for me any how, that I am simply not in love with my h anymore. We have not had any kind of intimate relations for over 6 months and to be honest never really did fancy him. I married him because I never believed anyone else would have me. I was his first and only girlfriend. I asked him out and basically felt I could give him a life he would not otherwise have, ie kids and wife. Very shy person. A very arogent (so cant spell) position I now realise but born out of a position of low self esteem (have been seeing a counseller myself