by the chaos in the house that she tried to spend her evenings out with friends instead, we weren't in any position to be able to communicate effectively. Now we may disagree on how something should work, but we try to back each other up and to check in frequently. I love her so much and I don't want to see us sabotage that by stretching ourselves too thin elsewhere. For me, a lot of this means giving up on my ideals of how family should look. I am hugely in favor of family dinners, but Lee can only manage 10 minutes or so before certain table manners turn her stomach and drive her away. When Val and Alex were with us and everytng was a struggle, that lt like a rejection of me every single night. Now that I understand where she's coming from, I respect it and appreeciate her effort even if deep down I think she should just suck it up and join in. We're both doing our best, but because we're very different people that can look very different. And my way is not always better. I really am working on believing that! Right now, you have an adoptive daughter and a foster daughter in the home, who may reunify. How do you balance the dynamic of having a permanent child and a temporary child living as siblings?  How do you temper your own feelings when you don't know the future? Lee and I would have