a related sport, engineering, or, in the absolute worst case, both. Be prepared for a relentless barrage of technical questions exploring every little nuance relating flying to his area of expertise, from the design differences between intermediate and advanced gliders and parachutes to what computer language your vario is programmed in. DON'T SAY: anything about the richness of the free flight experience. Stories of the magic of soaring in the golden glow of a beautiful sunset will only provoke a blank and uncomprehending stare. DO SAY: give him the technical answers to his questions he demands. DANGER: to escape the interrogation you may need to feign death, unless you can fob him off on to another Pilot. THE AIR TRAFFIC WARDEN Taking a short break from writing stern letters of complaint to the Times from the pilot's lounge at the airfield, the Air Traffic Warden considers himself a fully licensed professional aviator and regards paragliders in uncontrolled airspace with the same disdain he holds for mud on the gliding club carpet. DON'T SAY: how relaxed and unregulated free flight in the UK is. The slightest hint risks to unleash a tirade on how you are a danger to yourself and others. DO SAY: mention the superior performance of sailplanes. THE UNCONSCIOUS IGNORAMUS Although the Incessant Inquirer's questions may be overwhelming, they are at least pertinent and hint at the presence of a functional central cortex. The Unconscious Ignoramus's questions, sadly, grant him no such favour and indeed have been known