time ago.  I was utterly obsessed like you and basically was in love with a fantasy. Like you I need to learn how to be happy with myself and whole by myself and realize that my happiness does not come from someone else.  I read your posts and it reminds me of all the pain and hurt I felt and have been feeling (which actually is why I don't log on much anymore). I am glad to hear that you are seeing a therapist, as I am and it has helped immensely.  I've found out a great deal about myself (such as the fact that I have ADD which I never knew) and have explored my reasons for doing so many things. Best of luck with it and best of luck discovering yourself.  Believe me, you can do it.  I'm in your exact position of now trying to sort out how I feel about my wife and what to do now and how to let go and accept. DS, April and Ivan Thanks for the understanding words. I will respond in full later. But you all mention the word 'Madness' and it is complete and utter madness. Its just absolutely constant. As you will find out my situation is at the point of no return. We have had the month cut off I talked about but also to compound matters my mother in law yesterday decided to pay for a family holiday for five days in Disney Land Paris ...