my compulsion to doing it again, even though I loved my wife. I'd say it's normal. I think the first trip around the calendar is the hardest because it's the "first" anniversary of anything associated with that date. The one year anniversary of D Day for us was a big deal, we turned it into a positive and productive day for us, but it was still very much a presence. The second anniversary of D Day we hardly noticed. We knew what day it was for sure, it just didn't matter much. I'm speaking for my wife here but I'm confident she'd agree that the second year is significantly better than the first. Yes... Anti-versary dates suck. Still trigger me three years out. Also, just a head's up. The second year can be rough. It's the first year is just coming to terms at what happened and getting all the information. It's when "the plan" for recovery is made. Rollercoaster and dealing with the trauma. The second year is has a ton of reflection. Is the plan working? How do you feel? On top of that, you also start digging inwards... What kind of person am I that would take back a cheater? It's also beyond that intense rollercoaster. So you aren't so much just trying to stay sane, it's thinking clearly without all that emotion. You will question the validity of the marriage again, particularly if your wayward hits a "comfort zone" and starts reverting to the old dynamics