see DS and the other guy on here.  Long ago I was the lone guy (Ivan, that's me- bunch of posts above). DS, your story is mine.  I won't bore you with the details again, but check above.  I had an affair with a woman (both of us are married) that went on for two years.  I know your situation is different, but eventually she basically told me we had our chance and we missed it and I hadn't done anything.  She went away and I was miserable and I knew she still loved me and yes eventually she came back and again we talked about how passionately we loved each other. But you know what happened then?  She left again.  She got pregnant and decided that she couldn't leave her marriage and that she wasn't close enough to me and she couldn't have an abortion and I'd missed my chance.  She told me that she loved me and she didn't know what to do but that she couldn't leave and she couldn't trade her existing problems for new (and potentially untested ones). That was months ago and I still miss her every day and still think about picking up the phone to call her and like you still wonder what if.  What if down the road we could wind up together?  What if down the road she realizes that she misses me? I guess my point is, you need to stop thinking that now.  I needed to a long