erotic side. I think, you just have to make her feel safe and that you do not connect being sexy with being "dirty". Or else, that being "dirty" is fine for you. I have a similar problem. I noticed a marked decline in libido after I passed the 70 years mark. I think it was largely psychological rather than physical. But now at 80 I think I'm almost back to my babyhood days. The idea of settling down with her is killing your libido. You are just not into her anymore. You know that but are in denial and reassure yourself by believing that she is the best you had.....fab woman, great friend, blah, blah, blah.........! You are just 24! silly us, we forget that the Americans invented sex. My girlfriend is American, and although she's been married twice (to Americans both times) she never had what you might call, 'imaginative sex' until we got together. Please leave out your stereotypes, Grauniad readers see past all that bollox, dontcha know. Most popular on the Guardian Today in pictures After advising tourists against travel to the cities of Jammu and Srinagar for nearly 20 years, the Foreign Office has lifted its guidelines after a fall in violence. So, Dal Lake and part of the Valley of Kashmir, one of India's most beautiful regions, are once again open to visitors