where I can say I am actually going to leave (and have not thoroughly thought through the effect it will have on us). Because of our different positions(P seperated over 3years ago) P is alot further on than me in understanding herself and if I am honest has probably (due to my inaction) been preparing herself for the likelyhood we may not be together. So she needs to be reassured that if we end up together we both understand what we want from the relationship. We understand we are in different positions (P has no kids and is seperated and obviously I have the kids the financial concerns and the fact I have been leading a double life for along time now...something that I am ashamed of) but we also understand that we love each other immensely. (and we also fear that we could be too logical over our choice and regret it for the rest of our lives) P is away now till next monday and I go to disney land paris for five days with the wife and kids and my mother in law(she is paying) next week(kids really excited god bless them). We both agreed it is pointless making a decision (here we go again i hear you say :-)  ) until we have returned. One thing we have agreed on is that even if that decision is to move on, the door will remain open for both of us. Now we realise that last statement probably