million dollars Well, I'd buy you John Merrick's remains All them crazy elephant bones And if I had a million dollars I'd buy your love If I had a million dollars We wouldn't have to walk to the store If I had a million dollars We'd take a Limousine 'cause it costs more If I had a million dollars We wouldn't have to eat Kraft dinner But we would eat Kraft dinner Of course we would, we'd just eat more And buy really expensive ketchups with it That's right, all the fanciest Dijon ketchups If I had a million dollars If I had a million dollars Well, I'd buy you a green dress But not a real green dress, that's cruel And if I had a million dollars If I had a million dollars Well, I'd buy you some art A Picasso or a Garfunkel If I had a million dollars If I had a million dollars Well, I'd buy you a monkey Haven't you always wanted a monkey? If I had a million dollars I'd buy your love If I had a million dollars If I had a million dollars If I had a million dollars If I had a million dollars If I had a million dollars I'd be rich