I needed a clean shirt." Try to find things in common with them. Don't lie though because they will probably find out someday and if you have started a relationship or friendship it might ruin it. Each step is designed to build on the increased comfort of the step before. If you start with asking them questions before you smile at them, then they are more likely to be uncomfortable. Don't hesitate before you approach, either do it casually or move on. It comes off very creepy to have somebody eyeballing you for several minutes before they walk over. Some people are shy and may not want to talk to you. People like this do not mean to be rude and you should not take it wrongly - they are just afraid of talking to strangers. When using FOR, it's best not to start out with " F amily". You never know if somebody passed away in their family either recently or even awhile back and mentioning it may make them sad. Chances are they won't get mad at you, (you didn't know) but their spirit will be brought down. If they're estranged from family or in a fight with family members they may get angry. " O ccupation" has its up's and down's, but it usually won't bring spirit down that much. The only problem with occupation is that, based on modern economic problems, they may have lost their jobs recently, but that is less common and usually will