hand, I was not impressed with the manner in which Mrs. Wilson gave her evidence. In the absence of other evidence, I would have had serious concerns as to whether or not Mrs. Wilson is a fit parent. The influence of both a female and male role is significant in a child's upbringing. A parent who engages the other parent in a child's life as opposed to dismissing him or her as a minute part of the child shows great parental capacity with the ability to make objective decisions without personal motive. When you are raising a child after the breakdown of a marriage, remember: Do not make your child choose one parent over the other. Divorce is never a child's fault but too often children feel involved or partially to blame. Do not let your child feel like he or she has to choose sides if you have a strained relationship with your ex spouse. Do not use your child as a messenger -refrain from relaying messages to your spouse through your child. Do not use your child as a friend or counselor. Do not mourn the breakdown of your marriage with your child. Questioning your child after visitation. Do not force your child to tell you about everything he or she does while in the custody of the other parent. Allow regular and reasonable access to the child. Do not keep a child from his or her other parent simply to punish your ex spouse. Encourage your ex