taking one step at a time and to survive half a day or a day without contact with William is a big achievement to me.. all I need to do is to slowly will myself away from him, with my willpower and sense.... only to find my heart leads me back to him. I am not proud and happy of the whole thing either. Miss Rosy, I hope the relate counselling sessions help your marriage. At least you got a man who is willing to try to make it work. And yes I know the grass is not always greener, its a quote I have always advised others.... Like wise, I take your comments MissRosy totally on board. I am behaving badly. Its a weird feeling, as I have always truely believed when people have said ' oh I just couldn't help myself' , course you could! Trouble is when the situation is in front of you, not the case at all. I too hope you find happiness in the future. Dear DB, What is crazy about all this is that you and I feel the same and are having the same issues - lack of sleep being just one! So how many others are in the same position? makes you wonder. My husband is a good man and certainly does not deserve this. We have had a good marriage but a safe one. I simply chose safe and reliable over passion and true love many years ago and now