a little boy looking every inch the boyhood version of his father. While his father instinctively looked away as I came towards the ute, the little boy's attention was captivated by the person running in a regular rhythm and getting closer and closer as I came towards them. Children are not born hating or fearing other groups. We teach them that. In fact, children don't even know who's in their group and who isn't. Ask a six-year-old to name the kids in his or her class and he or she will give you a list of names that includes many nearly unpronounceable ones without realising that any of those names are unusual. The little boy's black eyes widened as I drew level with him and his dad inside their ute. He smiled, and when I waved he gave me a cheery wave back. Will he grow up with an experience of life in Australia engendering a ready-made expression of embarrassment, apprehension and defiance whenever a stranger looks at him? Or will he keep smiling and waving? The default expression he acquires, between now and the time he grows up, will be determined by us. Which is it going to be? It's entirely up to you. --  This is a speech Elliot Perlman gave in February at the Wheeler Centre Gala 2012 in Melbourne.