share this story One of the biggest challenges facing many people when they look at how they can refer other people is the fear that they will upset friends in the process. At a recent BrightTalk seminar on how to generate referrals, I was asked how to make introductions without losing friends. The full question read: "I am trying to make referrals for someone I met in the insurance and financial planning industry. The difficulty is that to just give him names of friends and people I know might annoy them when he starts contacting them. But it is also difficult to ask questions to qualify the lead as it's a bit personal in nature." There are two parts to the answer. The first part lies in the definition of a referral. Many industries and sales teams focus on collecting names and numbers from people as part of their 'referral strategy'. They are then happy to cold call those people and hopefully get sufficient names to get some sales. This is not referral generation, it is lead generation. They are completely different things. Picture yourself sitting at your desk busy trying to meet a deadline. The phone rings. It is someone trying to sell you something. You are not expecting their call, you don't necessarily recognise that you have a need for their services and, to be honest, you don't have the time or inclination to find out. Whether or not they use the name of someone you know as