one of the things people who have had affairs have to do is to forgive themselves for what they have done.  I spent a long time hating myself and thinking that I was really bad.  But I was just human and wanting love and satisfaction in the simplest of ways.  I got hurt and said never again, but that is so hard to stick to when somebody walks into your life -once again I cannot overcome the desire to feel fulfilled. Emily, you are so right when you talk about that voice telling you not to do it, but being unable to resist.  Suzzy, how are you coping? Do you still check these posts? I was in a similar situation to you two, many years ago when my children were very young.  In the end I stayed in the marriage and things did get a lot better, but I often felt like a single parent within the family.  My kids are off to uni now and I am yearning for a more fulfilling relationship.  So I would say that you can get through it and even have good times, but ultimately, if it doesn't work... history seems to repeat itself... April. Hi, yes I am still checking the posts, its just so hard at the moment I can't seem to find the words. We are going to relate but not helping really. Basically I am still in love with P and want him so much. I just cant seem to