his own and he doesnt pay any maintenance at all, never has. He was violent and abusive to me and my eldest son through out the relationship. If im not granted the order how can I go about emigrating to USA to give my children and myself a better future. My ex partner has no intention of being a part of my childrens lives but will do anything to spite me and the children so wont give his written permission to leave the country. A. Hi I am sorry to hear about this situation. You are trying to do your best to move on from a horrid experience. In certain situations the court will give permission for a change of surname and a permanent relocation. In cases where there has been violence and abuse and since then, no contact from father, your chances of succeeding are greater. I regret that the only way for you to do this is by his agreement or court order. If you cannot afford legal fees, try to represent yourself. There is information on this site for 'litigants in person'. Providing that you know the facts and can present them in writing or verbally, you will be ok. Good luck. Best regards Harjit Sarang Q. Hi I have split with my ex for around 2 months now she has stopped all contact with my children. I pay half the nursery fees and I am on both birth cirtificates so have parental responsibility. Solicitors are involved