Serial dickhead Chris Brown has dumped longtime girlfriend Karrueche Tran , because... we wonder why? "I have decided to be single to focus on my career ," the clearly lying Brown told Us magazine. "I love Karrueche very much [I'm lying again], but I don't want to see her hurt over my friendship with Rihanna [Remember her? The 'friend' I nearly beat to death?]. I'd rather be single allowing us to both be happy in our lives [and I'm only truly happy when beating women]." THE FANTASTIC NEWS: According to multiple media outlets including the NY Daily News , the inconceivable relationship between gorgeous man-of-our-dreams George Clooney and that string bean ex-wrestling witch Stacy Keibler is "almost kaput." "They're barely talking," says one snooper spy. "She is worried that he may break up with her any day now." Yessssssss! Now's our chance! HUBBY KIP! Clear today's calendar, and toss us the car keys! We've got an emergency waxing appointment at Bikini Away! THURSDAY, OCTOBER 4 Speaking of potentially fantastic news, there's the slightest possibility that Kanye West may finally be coming to his senses and realizing that his gross girlfriend Kim Kardashian is... umm... GROSS. As you know, KanWe fancies himself a clothing designer -- even though his line of frocks have been savaged by critics at previous Paris Fashion Weeks . Well, according to the NY Daily News , Kanye had no in tention of bringing Kim to this year's fashion week in Paris, because... well.... " He didn't