happy -and my lover has said all along that that was his intention anyway.  So, we will see? April xxx Ivan, I do understand what you're trying to say. There was one time in my life when I feel I have gone off my husband because he doesn't look or feel like W whom I find very sexy and appealing. All those happened in the height of passion and giddiness during our affair. Later (now) i look at my husband through the eyes of others and realise he is still attractive to many others and there could still be women who might fancy him. Suddenly, when I look at him through the eyes of others, plus the wonderful personality he has, he suddenly became attractive to me again. You may not be able to get your wife to that level of adventurous mood you are in but you two might meet halfway. How does it sound? Say, if you like her in high heels, just buy her a nice pair and see her reaction. Perhaps you can arrange a dinner date with your wife where you are taking her to a nice restaurant where she is required to dress up and put on those stilettos. What I'm saying is, you can do it in your own little way. Suzzy, April is right in saying that once you are clearer in which direction you are taking, you will start to find life is back on track once again. Its a shame