and stay in indecision land the more disinterested your affair partner (AP) will become.  Trust me.  Mine left because I waited forever and then she sort of came back but it was more of a mess than before.  DO NOT WAIT.  MAKE A CHOICE.  Or one will be (or already has been?) made for you. Also, as I also found out, you CAN NOT really even know what it is like to be in a relationship with either of these people unless you are FULLY in ONE of them. Wow, I could be (and should have been) talking to myself. Believe me, you do NOT want to be in the pain we are all in here. Take care. ello everyone, Jenny- I like your analogy about rules. As simple as it is and yet it is so difficult to folllow. On the other hand, I am so pleased to know that you finally came to a point of realizing what had happen and planning on what could be done to overcome the past.  You are doing a great progress! Suzzy- you are a brave person! i really commend you for your boldness and sincerity in sharing your affair with your partner. You are an example of a strong woman who really knows what she is doing and are not afraid to stand on her ground.  I for one thought about telling my husband about my affair. I guess out of guilt. However, now that my affair is over, I thought