parents. In our family, I was the one to drop out, although I have always worked full-time as an academic -- just not as a high-achieving one with the possibility of a chair. I'm stuck at Reader, and have only managed that by changing discipline out of science. We now have three adult children and I don't have regrets about how much time I spent with them. My partner, however, does have those regrets. There were many missed parents' evening, sports days, days out and even birthdays and booked holidays, due to the pressures of work and more particularly the lab. You may also be surprised to know that I don't regret the career part either (or the possibility of it -- who knows whether I would have cut it or not?). I have a responsible and well-paid job and I have the opportunity to mentor and support a wide variety of colleagues. It's really interesting. My partner has more status than me, but with the cynicism of age we don't hold that in particular esteem! Those of you commenting who are in charge of a research group, look around at your research students and post-docs. Do you resent them leaving work early to pick up their kids from school, even if they make up the time later? What do you do to change the culture? I think that's what we should be talking about, now that we know from this research project just how little things have changed in