good to know I am not the only one who is experiencing these emotions, and is caught in this turmoil. I just wish I knew how this woman was feeling. And then I think, well, I know I dont love my wife, and if I give up on that for a chance with the other woman, and she said no, could I live with that? Again, today I think I would be ok with taking that risk for love.. because not taking it would make me regret... and I have had enough regret in my life. I have always played it safe, and I want to take a risk... just cant decide if this is the one to take. I am tallking in circles now, but this is how my life has been for the past few months, the last one in particular. Hi All, To the above - I know just what you mean about the flip-flop from one emotion to the other.  I do that all the time!  IT is all so difficult -the trouble is we are sensible enough to know that this new thing might one day turn bad -and look at what we are losing. Emily and Suzzy -I think that you have both been moving in the same directin in terms of losing the perfect image of the affair guy.  Suzzy -I am pleased fr you that you can see P is an arse - it often takes so much longer!  I think once