trapped position. Thanks for writing back. Firstly yes I do remind myself that things are always rosy at the beginning and a second marriage may not necessary mean its going to be eternally blissful and fairytale. I have been married for 10 years and although things were generally good between us but it has never been about hot passion and strong chemistry attraction. There were little mental sparks and soul connection. But my husband does have many good qualitiies and thats why I am hesitant to walk off. My husband is slowly suspecting I am up to something with my constant going outs and I have really run out of excuses and lies on where I am going or who I am out with. I am also getting careless with my texts and emails and I know its a matter of time before he finds out. A small part of me thinks its more of a relief if he finds out so that at least I can be honest with him but I know he would be unforgiving and that would probably mean the end of our marriage. Like you, I have been distant, detached and moody at home too.  I still look at the kids and smile with pride and love. But my feelings have been like rollercoaster, one moment I am up and next down. One moment I dream of packing up and go and be carefree but I know thats impossible because I dont have the heart