you learn how to dislike them it is better.  I eventually became repolsed about what I did and used to have real hatred for the one who betryed me. As to my situation at the moment. I just don't know -you live and learn and I have to let some water go under the bridge.  I think like Emily said -I would neeed a real firm offer of security.  I guess most would say we should try being on our own first but this is the whole point -for some of us what we have is too good to give up without a better option. Suzzy, I do hope that you are ok and as I say it is so good that you are feeling this way over P cos he really has not been kind to you, April Hi, firstly, welcome to the guy above April. All of us who write here are in the same boat it seems and all i guess we want is to be happy. Trouble is, is that it is never that simple. My emotions are up and down all the time, and  though I have now seen P in a different light, I am not sure how I would react if he wanted me back - though 99% sure this will not happen. Trying to see what I have in my life and whether it is enough, for now anyhow while the children are young. My husband and I are talking and ,