is attracting him, and how can you mitigate it? (Many women want to skip this because they're afraid of losing time, of their beauty, of their biological clocks.  Forget about being beautiful: it's only important in the first few minutes of a relationship, to get noticed.  There are other ways to be noticed.  As for your biological clock, do not rush into it.  You're talking about creating a human being, and that's not a thing to be done just because you can't do it later.) Everything I'm asking you to do is hard.  I'm asking you to take risks of not getting what you want, rather than grasp at straws.  I'm putting it all on you because it's about getting what you want, which starts with knowing what you want and why you want it. Because now we get to the really hard part, and coming back to the start: dealing with the fact that you have feelings that you know consciously aren't rational.  If you're clingy, and that's unpleasant for him, you know you're not really reassuring yourself and in fact driving him away. I told you those feelings are real and won't go away, but now you're finally in a position to get him to help.  Tell him what your fears are, and admit them AS fears. They're part of you, and don't go away just because you tell them to. You're asking him to work around them, and if he's worth having a long-term commitment with, he