We dated a year before we had intercourse. He expressed a lot of interest in giving me oral, which I did on him for a few months before eventually had intercourse. First (second? third?) red flag-- After a few times without condoms I changed my mind and wanted to go back to condoms which he wasn't 'okay' with (yeah, so what-- condoms). He also just never actually gave me oral. I got a little passive-agressive (I was young) and just stopped giving it to him. After a few weeks he complained and I told him he'd get his when I got mine. This was when he told me he'd '"thought about it" and had decided it as something he just wasn't interested in. I was newish to sex, but I knew enough to know that I could never be with a guy who couldn't go downtown--AND expected me to. We had already had a few breakups and that just cinched it for me-- finally made it final. Another guy I liked, even loved, but he seemed turned off when I got more interested in initiating sex after discovering sex had been painful for me for because of an undiagnosed vaginal infection that I had for like 3 mo. (he loved the sex, but didn't like me being assertive which was a red flag for me). He and I broke up for a lot of reasons, but that was the start of it for me, I think. I knew my husband