would deny (not that this in anyway makes it right). Trouble is now he is popping over as 'friends' his guard is slipping and thinks nothing of parking car outside! This is going to blow isn't it! You rwo really seem to be moving in separate directions. Emilysmiles, it seems that you're winning to try for now on your marriage, to see if you can reconnect, and to try to avoid contact with William for a while. DB seems to be at a different phase, it sounds like you have given up on your marriage, and are just waiting for (and looking forward to?) getting caught. Reading your posts it seems inevitable that you will be caught and separate / divorced. It's almost as if this is the thill, and that you are unable to leave your marriage without having something lined up. Even though you acknowledge that your affair and you wouldn't work. It's really interesting to see how even though initially it looked like you two were in eactly the same postition, there's a massive difference between where you are, and maybe where you'll end up. I wish you both every happiness, but I also hope (as the others above do) that after the dust has settled leaves everyone is in a better position, with a comparatively more honest life. After all, if it did come out, your family, parents, and kids, would feel pretty shocked and ashamed - you have to make sure it's worth it. Its