busy (overwhelmed) with the kids, house, working again FT, exhausted, he felt left out (due to lack of sex) and acted out.  Thought he was having an affair but swears he wasn't but withdrew from all of us totally.  One day agreed to counseling and dropped the bomb he doesn't want to be married anymore.  Months of therapy, fighting, crying and no progress.  Finally the stress of everything got to me (there's lots more but don't want to bore) and I told him fine, if this is what he wanted - it's done.  He moved out at my request.  Static relationship, scared about the kids out with him (he admits that he resents them), lots of drama.  One day (about six months into separation) tells me he thinks he made a mistake.  We try to work things out, he moves back home in May 09 after a year plus of being gone (big mistake) nothing works.  I'm too hurt and angry and he doesn't make any changes either, although he has become a much better dad.  This has been going on for 4 years!  Also need to say we haven't had sex in these 4 years as well.  Back in Sept I told him it was over, nothing is woking and this needs to end.  He's not happy and I must admit he is trying to be good but for me I just feel like it's too late.  Too much hurt and awful things said and done to repair this.