going to change and something in me snapped and I realised I would have to look for fulfillment elsewhere. I have started going out with friends more, looking after myself more and having more fun. When the children were small my sex drive was poor but it has since returned. I am totally unattracted to my husband physically or emotionally. We haven't had sex for months. I find his drive to have a big house etc really unattractive especially now with the credit crunch where we are now really tight for cash because we are living in a big house we dont need that I never wanted and that I made clear from the outset that I felt was a bad idea. ( At the time we discussed it he got cross and said he works hard and should be able to have it if he wants it. Now we have to count every penny and holidays etc are rare and pretty bad ie cant go abroad or go to hotel/ somewhere nice..which is much more important to me, to have new experiences than to have a big house which quite frankly I just resent cleaning!! I did have a couple of meaning less clinches with a gardener ( such a cliche!!) but did not get seriously intimate..I cant imagine destroying our family unit, but also find it hard to imagine this is it..I think he knows we are in trouble but is afraid to talk about it.. pre gardener