is playacting at being a decent man. Signposting himself with that Buddhist stuff but not actually having Buddhist ways -- this is why actions must always match words so that you can spot the disconnect. If "Distance gives objectivity," then why did it take seven freaking months for me to get over the A/C? He lives on the other side of the country from me, so when I left, I had to drive the 2800 miles back to my home. Well, at least I had a home to drive back to. But it still took 7 freaking months for me to get over it. @JJ2, NC allows you to take control and heal but its not a quick fix to getting over someone, unfortunetly. NC does not stop you from going through the grief process. BUT imagine if you didnt do NC then you would be back and forth and getting confused and stalling the healing process altogether Natalie, "spotting the disconnect" is a lot easier and clearer if done earlier on as opposed to floundering in "cognitive dissonance" because you not only failed to do the former, but you failed to admit it. Grace I love that comment at the end. I've finally met up for a few dates with a lovely man, who really could have a million excuses, yet, goes out of his way to see me as much as he can.. demonstrates his values... and shows he IS interested -- he works abroad, but calls, e-mails