the comments. My experience is: if I know what I want, what I stand for and what my allergies are you are on the good way. Then you can see what it is in the person what triggers me. On that way I can let the disturbing factor mainly at the person. Thats about working as a individual with others. Regarding work you need to focus on goals and facts. Mostly if we do not like someone he can not do something good. Horn-effect. So first of all focus on the facts and think by yourself how you would react at a person you like. And try to focus on work based goals. Try to ask yourself at moments you get irritated by the person: Is it necessary for my work to react? And: What is important for our work right now? Last but not least stay open for zelfreflection. How can I behave to help the person change? Do I need to change something? For example maybe my kind of communicating. My experience has taught me something that has a lot to do with what Penelope mentioned about 'zelfreflection' (looove the neologism!). I think that MUST be the starting point, always. If you're being 'misinterpreted', it's very likely because you're miscommunicating. And after all, if there's one thing you ARE able to change, that's yourself, not the others, so you might as well start by something you can do. Now, if after making a significant change to your way