Now, I ve been embarassed for so long with my behaviour and trying to cover it up - but yesterday I reached a whole new level of loweliness. Am so embarassed an angry with myself! To cut a long story short, I have this ex - we were seeing each other for 4 years from the age of 14-18 - due to my messed up family background I really owe him a lot, and if it was not for him and his dad, I am not sure where I would have ended up. Anyway, our relationship kinda ran its course when I turned 19, I guess I wanted to see other people and live my life as a single person etc etc - but we stayed friends, he got married and had kids. I never found anyone to match up to him - so am still single. Fast forward 14 years now to yesterday (14 years!) - after a few messages with him on facebook - I m convincing myself that he is the One, he has always been and I need him back. So, I sort of write a lengthy email to him not necessarily embarassing myself to that extent to say that I want to be with him, but pretty much hinting at it that no-one has ever matched up to him...which of course is true, but he really did not have to know this after 14 years apart?! What is really concerning to me is the mania