feel it is lack of courage which stops us being truely happy, certainly from my point of view anyway. The way I feel now is complete and utter sadness - which i had the courage to admit defeat with my marriage and move on but even though I have made in rodes by discussing things with my h, when he crys I back down again. god knows when i will hear from my other again. got a short text yesterday, he is unwell - stress I think - off work but heard nothing yet today. Worrying bout him, is he back at work or still ill? cant contact him just in case at home and wife picks up. We all need to get back to real life and decide what we really want and if that is not possible then decide what is the next BEST thing, and not to settle. I agree with you Ivan, not being in an affair is de stressing but I hate not being with him. Take care all. Suzzy Hi all, I am really surprised that I hardly think of W at all today. I tried to think of him couple of times and even then, did not feel my heart flutter or felt the pain of missing him. I think I am moving on. I have learned quite an awful lot from this short term affair. One, it always takes two to tango. Two, affair is like an escapade into a world of