why in MacEwan's production of this musical, I could count the number of big laughs on one hand. That's at max five laughs in two hours. It's not MacEwan's fault, the actors' fault, and it's definitely not the theatre production students' fault. (did I mention how talented they are?) The musical is poorly written. The dialogue is clunky, unnatural and terribly unfunny. This is, in my opinion, inexcusable. The content is sex; how hard can it be to get some  laughs? The musical is simply vulgar and flaccid, like a disgruntled drunk boyfriend attempting coitus after a night on Whyte Avenue. And I am the disappointed companion who is grimacing while my sloppy lover attempts to shoe horn in his amoebic blob -- all the while declaring that "this usually doesn't happen." At one point, the character Hanschen, portrayed by Tylor Anton as a chunky Draco Malfoy, masturbates center stage. This is reminiscent of American Pie . However, unlike the dessert-o-philiac antics of Jason Biggs, Spring Awakening 's on-stage self-punishing scene is just awkward. You feel like you've walked in on a family member and for some reason you stay to watch. Laughter is not induced, and it's not really shame either -- it's just boring. All the comedic misfires and missed targets subtract further from the plays dramatic parts. You really don't care about the characters. At one point Wendla, played by Kayla Nickel, asks Melchior, played by Tyler Smith, to beat her with a stick. It was the