on the toilet he would never be able to get the image out of his brain and that would be all he could think of when it came time to kiss me. DON'T LAUGH I'M SERIOUS. In high school there was a boy that I really, really liked. His name was Chris Belden (Hi, if you're reading this Chris! It's about to get WAY MORE AWKWARD!) and pretty much every girl had a crush on him whether they wanted to admit it or not. He and I were never, ever going to happen (I was so awkward) so I needed to find a way to cure my Chris attraction. One of my more strange friends said, "Picture him taking a giant poop." Welp. That cured it. I couldn't look at him without thinking about him alone in a bathroom after a rough night of Mexican food. Several other friends say "Well, I'll pee in front of my husband, but never number two." WHAT IF NUMBER TWO SURPRISES YOU? WHAT THEN? And let's not even get started on farts. If we do not poop or pee in front of each other and you'd better believe we do not fart in front of one another. If you are single, or in the early stages of a relationship, please...*takes your hands*...please make a pact that you will keep your bathroom time solo and precious. Once you're married it may be the only alone time you ever get again. That person out there you