I must admit I already am distant from him for some other reasons, this time, the gap became huge. I dont want to make love to him anymore.! I honeslty dont think it bothered him much I guess since we dont do it quite as much. This is one thing. My becoming so "cold" was the reason of some unresolved discussions we had about financial accountability on his part toward the family. Besides, I even considred my affair as my revenge on his lack of financial contribution to us his family.  Although I must admit, he is one of the nicest man (first serious boyfriend),  handsome and cool dad to our kids. My problem sets in when I found out that my so called boyfriend has a long time on and off girlfriend from out of state for more than a decade. I found out about this through his old cell he gave me to trash. I was furious about it especially when I learned that he and his gf went on a vacation for 2 weeks together, which he said was a conference ( a month after we started the relationship) . At that point in time he sent me sporadic email telling me that he could not do it often due to "it'll cost him an arm and a leg" to email and that his phone has no connection or whatsoever. Amazed by these information- I checked all of his previous emails. I found out that the gf