that i grew up. I realised the hard way that 'idealistic' stories like Huckleberry Finn (i so wanted to be him!!) just don't and can't happen in real life. I still often wish i could just 'take off' and live on a deserted island - just me and my cat, because people have hurt me so badly that i want to be all on my own. But it is just that - a dream. A mental escape. It isn't reality, even though sometimes i wish it was. At the end of the day, even though i don't really 'love' the world, i know that just like every other human being i have to learn to function in it. I hope you can realise that one day too. The world sure is shitty at times, but if you totally cut yourself off from society you can miss out on some really terriffic things - even if you cannot see that right now. It seems to me like your trying to run away from growing up and taking responsibiltiy for yourself. Believe me California is the last place you would want to be homeless...you will be eaten up and spat out.. i lived there for 6 months and it can be a brutal place...full of evil predators..just waiting for you to come along and be used/abused I have "run away" to the usa,canada and australia 3 times trying to escape myself...never works.. What ever direction you decide to take..i hope you'll be