I would rather save it for peace sake.  Even though I still could feel a thug in my chest to tell him, something is stopping me. Interestingly enough, I had the courage to confess to him about my plans of having an affair. He looked at me in disbelief and said, how sure am I you are not doing it? I just gave him a smile and a kiss and told him- I have what I want infront of me! I guess there are things better left unsaid at some point because I am still willing to salvage my marriage. Emily- I am glad you are spending more time with your husband lately. That is good. It will refocus your thoughts and your attention to what is real and tangible infront of you than just a dream. We sure had a great time with our lover, right? Even simple places life coffee shops or eatery as long as we were together, it seems that we are dining in the best restuarant ever. I also realized that frequent communication no matter how short and simple it is to our husband means a lot.  Everytime I miss my lover and the longing of seeing and wanting to be with him increases- I just turned to my husband and pour all of my deep and passionate emotions! For no reason, I just tell him how much I love him and appreciate his presence, his contribution and his being the man in the family.