to do that and I love my kids too much. Its just like a double life I am living. When I am with William, I feel like a total single, carefree girl. We hold hands, we stop to kiss on the street, we exchange loving glances and smiles, we cuddle a lot and listen to music while he stroke my hair....all these things that I don't even do with my husband. Today I woke up with a mixture of emotions, as usual this is how I am feeling lately. One moment, I told myself no contacts with William for today but next moment I thought to myself why torture myself and him? Sometimes I told myself just go and have fun with him, not to take it seriously and not to expect any commitment. Just go and have a few hours of fun to recharge my life battery. But I am not that kind of person and I dont want a fun fling because I have feelings and too much at stake and its really a case of "all or nothing". I must say my sleep has been disrupted and I am stressed. I lay awake thinking of him, tossing and turning. William told me he's been feeling a little low lately although he didnt tell me whats the reason. I wonder if its because of me. Sometimes being in love doesnt mean we are on cloud nine and happy but if the love situation is complicated, being in love