Ultimately, the day-to-day reality of the Christian life is best learned in the context of personal relationships and communities. This doesn't mean than an online discussion has no value; it just means that it is of limited value. In fact, if you're a bloke, and you think this is a valuable discussion, then I'd encourage you also to actively seek opportunities personally to encourage, and to be encouraged by, other blokes whom you know. Usually, biblical principles will need to be applied in different ways in different contexts. In this case, since every man is different, and every woman is different, and therefore every marriage is different, the application of these principles will be different. Hence it would be a mistake to lay down absolute rules or policies. This discussion is more about godly wisdom, attitudes and desires, which are informed by biblical principles, and which work themselves out in different ways in different circumstances. Now let's turn to the passage from Ephesians. The key principle in this passage is that the husband-wife dynamic makes proper sense when it's grounded in the gospel of Jesus Christ: Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. (Ephesians 5:25-27) Paul is not saying