can't provide emotional security and fulfillment or commitment to the level I want, then its all wasting my time and also, risking my marriage for nothing. Im happier as a whole person being a wife and mum to my beautiful children. I still think of W now and again but not that much anymore. When I think of him now, I no longer feel the pain aching in my heart. Its more like sweet memories that put little smile on my face. It was nice to be romanced and chased that way by a guy again and I felt a bit priviledge to have that experience after marriage. But I will no longer be reckless again, risking my marriage in that manner again. At the mo, relationship with my husband is quite well so I am focussing on it and my family. Keep in touch, all. Emily, My feelings towards P are confused. On the one hand I hate him because he has dumped on me from huge height. I have had to tell my parents, my husband whilst knew about me having an affair, now knowing who it has made it ten times worse. But on the other hand, the feelings of love dont want to leave my head and I am not in any way undertanding why. I think you are right, I think his wife was close to finding out. Apparently since the first call, there have been others and the worse thing is he thinks it