- is their narcissism -- their consistent need to be "on", to play the role, to always be in the limelight, to wield their power, to be in control and be the center of the Universe. Then, it hits. Sometimes in a subtle way; more often, in a not-so-subtle way. One day they wake up and they feel alone. They experience feelings of loneliness and deficiency that accompany the stark realization that "the game is up" -- their mask has worn thin and is disintegrating. Their personality costume covers but a skeleton -- no meat -- and, alas, they begin to experience sadness, depression, self-hate, self-loathing and self-pity. They discover they really don't know who they are. At home with their partners, at play with their friends, in their life (outside of work) in relationship, they stumble, feel disoriented, disconnected and ungrounded; they feel like a stranger -- emotionally distant, incapable of forging deeper, heart-felt and loving intimacy. They experience estrangement from their spouses or partners, distance from their loved ones, and often end up engaging in superficial affairs, one-night stands, and uncomfortable and clunky liaisons -- all in an effort to find and feel a deeper self that has alluded them. In reality, they're searching for, longing for, their soul -- long lost, covered over and abandoned. Along the way, they jettisoned their need for true and real friendship, for true and real relationship, for true and real connection -- jettisoned for the sake of ego-driven needs for control,