you've been joyful before. You might like to take some moments NOW, to think about how it felt when you were being joyful, how others will see you and the nice things that people say about you when you are expressing yourself that way. If you get that sense of being joyful now, then that proves that it is still there, and if not then you might just want to concentrate a little more on remembering that feeling. I can probably find a young persons drug service in your area if you like. Generally the people are pretty cool, they DON'T tell you what to do, they support what YOU want to do and understand that people use drugs WELL DONE for taking responsibility to do something to make those changes I was just a little curious about it all and had to ask. I wouldnt say I have big enough of a problem that I need to talk to someone. Its just I have some buddies who smoke the green and it like energizes them while I get all the things I described. Ive cut back on the green but never completely stopped because I could never convince myself that it just might be the pot. Obviously it has made me paranoid because I go and search and dig for answers as to what my symptoms could be and sometimes even convince myself that maybe its a mental or a physical problem. That sound like paranoia to you. Eventually