have all sorts of opportunities ahead to make the life you want all the very best! Mariella, it's you who needs to look at Refuge's and Women's Aid's pages instead of just glibly link to them out of duty. If you did, you'd see that this is a highly abusive relationship. If the mere thought someone frightens you and you find yourself even adjusting your behaviour because of what they might do when they aren't there, it's abusive. It's not normal at all. This brave young woman knows that and she wrote to you for 'permission' to leave and to reassure her that no one will judge her for being in this relationship. And you let her down by confirming all her greatest fears. She or another person, male or female, reading this in the same situation may well lose what courage they have mustered. You owe them an apology. I say to the OP. Ignore Mariella. Listen to the commenters. Not one has agreed with the flippancy ATL. They are telling you your gut reaction is right. You need to go and get far away. LaylaLane has some brilliant practical tips as does amelliepoutain . My advice would be to go to your GP, not just to get signed off work but because GPs and nurses deal with this situation a lot and mayb have sources of local help you don't know about. Very often there is tonnes of help (cuts or no cuts) but it's hard to find