so much, I know you're busy too (families, jobs) & I appreciate it a lot"... So YES, by all means ask for reasonable help if you need it, and don't be afraid to suggest things when someone asks; just be sure it is within reason & appreciated/reciprocated -- otherwise it might not be offered again. And oops, I did forget to add one other thing in regards to how things are not the same as they were a long time ago. Especially the earlier post about how nowadays when there is a death, the food is catered, etc,... I think a lot of this is due to the fact that most women in the 40?s 50?s, and even 60?s, didn't have demanding jobs & careers, they were home and had more time to do all this cooking/baking/caretaking for others. I know when my uncle died last year, they catered his wake, with the exception of a few special dishes made by retired church women. Nowadays most women are working full time jobs often with a family, with little time off, and are too exhausted by day's end to do a lot of the more traditional stuff. Likewise with the scenario where women would group together and take care of the new mother, I do remember my grandmother telling me her friends did this for her when she had her kids..however they were all housewives & had the time. Anyway, I guess the issue is the thought counts; whatever people can