heal and forget. Jenny, I'm that anonymous writer above again (I'll call myself CrazyIvan for lack of a better name). Yes, it can have this impact on a man as well.  I know exactly what you mean and can precisely identify with your pain.  If it is anything like mine, I am truly sorry.  I hate it when people say "I know exactly how you feel" but in this case, I promise I do. And unfortunately, it isn't my wife who is having the baby, it is the woman I was having an affair with.  We broke up and she came back and told me how much she missed me but that she had gotten pregnant in the meantime.  She said she'd broken up with me because I hadn't (in effect) made any real effort to choose her and tell her that I wanted to be with her 100% and for both of us to leave our marriages.  I didn't.  She didn't either, but I didn't.  I don't know why.  I didn't believe her, I felt to afraid, I don't know.  I just couldn't and didn't. Then she came back and I told her I wanted her to leave, but it was too late.  She couldn't leave him and have an abortion.  Eventually she told me we should go our separate ways because I couldn't handle day after day seeing her pregnant and knowing she was having a family that didn't include me.  I still can't.  I can't believe she's