may have actually watched Alice Cooper apply his mascara, snorted the cocaine of Iggy Pop or shared a bottle of Ripple with a famous blind blues singer. Shifting his wooden leg on the Holiday Inn bed and reaching for his fifth of whiskey, Furry Lewis eyed the cans of beer in the plastic wastebasket that had been packed with ice and pressed into service as a cooler. -- Walter Dawson, Rolling Stone 4. VARIETY THROUGH COLLOQUIALISM Rock criticism that displays a sense of history is always popular. Many reviewers make sure to color their criticism with stylistic references to the early days of rock culture, flavoring their prose with a dramatic mixture of street slang and New Journalism. Originated by critic R. Meltzer, this type of review bears a particular hippie-to-hippie tone that is important in preventing outsiders from understanding it. Here, for example, is R. Meltzer demonstrating "Meltzer Prose" for The Village Voice in a review titled "Doodoo Plus Weewee Equals Haha": In the spring of '67 early ancient primordial days of the rock crit bandwagon as critters up at Crawdad Magazine always knew there was still one place to go after freebie feelers for any stuff in town had been summarily nipped in the bud: just take our asses over to the Cafe au Go-Go for the Mothers' nitely whatsit and they always let us in without much complaint even tho we never reviewed em even a paragraph worth. 5. EMPHASIS THROUGH REPETITION Often, an important point can