Forget your boyfriend. If you are concerned about the child you need to do whats right for her if you suspect abuse. I would file a report for an.investigation bc u may be the childs only help if her own parent cant act in their own daughters best interests in safety. No don't phone the police yet in case it isn't true,they are dealing with many tramatic children and adults a round the world right now that have been sexually abused. Sit the 3-year-old down and talk to her,just start with normal questions first then ask her stuff like "As anybody touched you?" She's clearly the only one who is gonna tell you truth. If she says yes then phone the police. Don't waste time on any level! If she says "No" tell her "She won't get into trouble and she can tell the truth" Whatever you do, be very careful about your reactions and questions towards the little girl about the sexual abuse in question. That should be left up to the police who are trained to handle situations like this. Only because without meaning to you can confuse her with with your concerns and she may be afraid to tell the truth and hide facts. When she talks to a third party, you want to avoid any influence in her statement. This is the type of thing the police handle. And I agree, the way your boyfriend is acting indicates he is sorting things out on his own,