you, and a lot of someone completely new and fascinating. And the two of you start to become a little new and fascinating yourselves, in all the best ways, as the baby brings out sides in you that enrich your life so much. It's hard and beautiful and exciting and such an adventure. Forgive me for going on for so long, but I just can't seem say enough about what being parents means to us, and to me. I wish you the very, very best. I married my husband two years ago. I'm 25 now, and finding and chasing new dreams for myself. Sometimes I want a baby really bad...in a hormonal, give-me-a-baby-NOW! sort of way. Other times it seems nice because I think I'd like to have a family, and I don't want to put it off too long and then have trouble getting pregnant/be old for my kids. But then sometimes, I think(sort of selfishly) that I want to be able to go random places and do interesting things and that kids will change my lifestyle too much. And there's the fact that seeing how some friend's lives revolve around their little kids makes me kind of sick. That's sort of mean, and I'm now sure why. I, like you, have a hard time seeing anything but black or white when it comes to an imagined future with children, and this creates a mess of confusion. I hope to find my way out, but in the meantime, I