do not know how to get my needs met. (For the child to "obey") I I am out of control, in my amygdala and am unaware and become angry as defence against fear of being out of control. Convoluted and the way it is for me. I thnk the real reason I lose it with my kids sometimes is because I don't really have confidence in myself as a parent. I adopted my two daughters from a Russian orphanage more than 7 years ago as a first time parent. When logic and consequences did not work with them, it threw me for a loop. I discovered Bryan Post and Heather Forbes several years ago, but still feel like nothing "works" with my kids except giving in to them. Anytime I say "no," it starts an immediate power struggle and/or meltdown by one of my kids. I do not react well to power struggles. I get really angry when they verbally abuse me; it pushes all my buttons. I guess I fear that they can "see through me" and know that I don't know what I'm doing. I am really frustrated because I feel that it is also impossible to teach them anything during calm times. If I try to go back and say, "how could you have handled that better," or "you need to understand why what you did was wrong" they cover their ears and don't want to talk about it. I feel my job as a parent is