I am now trying to deal with all my memories and the carnage I've created. Figure it out.  If you are more happy with her, baby or not you need to figure that out and tell your wife and discuss it with her and come to a consensus and figure out what you really need.  You CAN'T do this when you are in two relationships.  And you NEED TO DO THIS before you don't have an option.  Trust me on that too, that is SO MUCH worse. All I am saying is take responsibility, at least for your actions.  I know that I still feel like I am "cheating" because I am in my marriage but thinking about someone else.  BUT I have decided that for me, cheating is NOT AN OPTION.  I am working on my marriage and trying to see if I can sort it out.  I have SO MANY of the same feelings as you and am in so many similar situations, but believe me, with all the immense, incredible pain I feel now, one thing I can tell you is that it feels SO GOOD not to be having an affair and not to be covering my tracks every day and not to be completely disrespecting my spouse. Hope that helps, at least initially. Hi to All, NR, I read your post with interest as it was a similar thing to me -I went out before Xmas and bumped into somebody I knew as a teen