where infidelity has occurred. Unlike voting blocks, the limited research that is available suggests that EMI happens across ethnic and racial lines, in red states and blue ones, in the homes of the rich and the poor, regardless of educational levels and by both men and woman. Can you prevent EMI in your relationship? The answer is that while you and your partner can not completely affair proof your marriage, you can do things alone and together to decrease the risk of EMI. Here are three research, theory and clinically based recommendations: 1. Recognize that engaging in EMI is a DECISION! While many partners who engage in EMI have excuses, (my partner does not have sex with me, my marriage is awful, I was drunk, he or she came on to me, I made a mistake), I believe that people DECIDE to have an affair, even if it didn't seem like a decision in the first place. If you want to have a happy marriage over time, when faced with the opportunity (and most of us are), realize you are facing what may be one of the most important decisions of your life. 2. Make every effort to do your part to protect the commitment in your marriage. My good friend and colleague, Dr. Scott Stanley writes in his outstanding book, The Power of Commitment , (Jossey-Bass, 2005) that partners need to act to proactively protect the commitment in their relationship and to create safety and security in your marriage.