him in with me and leave her and I am like...no way, but then why I am with him? How can I be so strong in so many ways and still be so emotionally weak? My kids, my family, co-workers..everyone would be shocked and so disappointed in me if they knew what was happening in my private life in regard to this relationship....it's ridiculous and difficult (actually impossible) for me to understand. Oh the ramblings...I make myself crazy trying to figure it out, be strong, and find a way to leave -- and I just can't seem to do it. I guess I just would like to know your recommendation. How is the best way I can fix this issue and get my life back? Is it your books, your work, consult with you, a local therapist, or does it come down to an emotional inner strength (specifically referring to a partner/spouse type relationship) that maybe I don't have...or know how to have? I'm so very frustrated with the situation and myself. Hi everyone, I am still amazed that so many are going through this pain of narcissitic abuse but it strenghtens me to know others are sharing this with me. I was with my husband for 39 years, married for 34 years and have 4 amazing children who have seen the domestic abuse he served out to me and them during those years. He has had 2 affairs and exchanged our family home, moved out and emptied it of