be a slave to my passions.  And is that what I am?  Or am I just a guy who needs passion in his life? In any event, please help me shed more light on your situation and if you can recommend any books that have helped you along your way and describe to me more how you've dealt with things that would be fantastic.  I think (like I believe BB said awhile back) that unlike what you describe this board to be as a "Mutual Admiration Club", I think most of us (I for one at least) am looking for a "Mutual Assistance Club".  I am NOT looking for anyone to tell me what a good boy I am and pat me on the back and tell me it will be okay and that my actions weren't that bad.  I know they were.  I was an AWFUL person.  No, strike that, I behaved AWFULLY and TERRIBLY and HURTFULLY without thinking about anyone but myself or any of the consequences.  I acted solely out of my neediness and impulses. I am DESPERATELY trying to avoid that while learning to understand myself and my real needs and understand if I can truly and honestly be a good husband to my wife.  I've hurt her terribly and I do not want to continue to do that and I do not want to hurt myself. So I appreciate your harsh words more than you know but please tell me HOW to move on from