I originally found out about these techniques when my pre-marital counselor gave my hubby and I a Dirty Fighting pop quiz (which we failed). This rockstar counselor proceeded to teach my husband and I the difference between the Dirty Fighting Techniques practiced by most people and the clean-as-a-whistle fighting he wanted us to strive for. Before we get into Dirty Fighting, let's make sure we define it's opposite: Clean Fighting. Think about this in terms of a real life conflict you had with your spouse, sibling or best friend. Imagining a real-life scenario first will help you extrapolate these skills to your characters. Clean Fighting: Take responsibility for your own stuff. Also known as "cleaning up your own side of the street." I know it sucks when you're mad and you clean up your side of things while the other person leaves their big cow patties steaming, but lead by example on this one. It helps when someone steps up to be the bigger person. Leave the other person an "out with dignity." This is most often achieved by understanding that there might be facts you don't know. "I" statements are always going to work better when you're pissed off than "you" statements. And don't be trying to cheat with stuff like, "I understand that you're a selfish bastard." Talk about the behavior in those "I" statements , not any personality disorders you think the other person should address. Stick to the point. Resist throwing in the kitchen sink of