circle everytime he asked me about my decision. I avoided the subject all the time. And now I've lost him. All those numerous loving texts and emails he sent me daily. All those late night phone calls and how he tell me he misses me. All my happy weekends with him. Now when I look at other couples holding hands and talking or laughing, my heart aches in envy and it reminds me of the times I had with him. I thought "I had that with W too... oh why did I blow it away?" Perhaps if I hang on to him a little bit longer, I would have a longer happiness for myself. I deserve to smile that way, don't I? But I was scared to fall for him deeper each time... that was why I had that "last chat" with him. I wanted an "All or Nothing" but now I realise I may have pushed it a bit too soon. I had to change my phone tone and text tone in order to think less about him. Everytime a text comes through, I still secretly wish it to be him. I still go out and look at other guys and compare them with him. No one can match up to him. I still think we could have made a great couple (he said it before). # Katrina, as you and I now know there are bachelors like that who are selfish and all they want is what is