because she has issues from her past so another member, perhaps her partner or son will express their sexuality to balance out the family dynamics. Or perhaps one member of the family is very outgoing and outspoken, and then there is another member who will be shut down and repressing themselves. There is no gain without a loss or loss without a gain. You cannot escape the universal law of compensation in any system and the greater order in the system. Moreover, there is a conservation of the favorite child and black sheep in a family will continually oscillate between one or many members of the family. I know within my own family myself and my older brother oscillate between being the black sheep and the golden child. I have become so aware of this that if I stop calling my father on a weekly basis, my brother will start showing up in his life more often, I become the 'bad' one for not contacting them and my brother is favorite. I am aware of the dynamics and create it how I choose rather than reacting to the situation. The more equal and empowered each family member is, the less the family will oscillating in power from extremes. We each have a hierarchy of values and we live accordingly. Wisdom is finding what you have experienced that has served you. (add a little bit more) So when you see disorder you label the family as dysfunctional. If you take a