beautiful children who would never be, because the dual thoughts of knowing I could circumvent the process through birth control and the thought that the women I chose were like me- pleasure seekers and not really interested in natures plan of procreation- but the pleasureful act only, and thereby not at all interested in planting seeds and harvesting them to fulfillment... I sensed these barren crops were in my mind and in my heart and it cut into my sense of responsibility to tend my own garden. I see beautiful gardens in the image of lives dedicated to a largesse that I can only dimly fashion...incredible partnerships of goodness and strength, of sacrifices and trials, of dreams becoming plans, and the real, the blessed and beautiful right before me all along. Yes my first post was humour, because this is the way I like to relate....but in it I sowed a seed that became this post, 'theres work, kids, community, friends and family'. I went to a funeral of two who had become one- through marriage and saw a consummation that was as large as life itself, and their memorial was glorious and so noble, the good friends and work they had done for so many was like a vision of a fairytale- and like the lives of those who I have sought out and are still doing works of lasting merit and goodness- I realised that dreams can come true, that there is such a thing as 'true' and