still moments when I just want to tell my husband the truth, even though he doesn't seem to suspect much about what goes on. He happens to be one trustworthy kind of person and works long hours and I always thought if I have an affair, he would probably be the last person to find out. It's not nice to say this as its betrayal so no, I am not proud of myself. Suzzy, at the moment, it sounds like neither of them is right for you. P seems to be playing "happy family" with his family and is not in contact with you anymore. How is friendship between you and his wife? Obviously not talking? And your husband doesn't fulfil you emotionally in a way that your empty heart desires although he is a good father. I guess its the right thing to do - for your husband to consider moving out for a while and see what goes on from there. The passion and intimacy/romantic feelings we feel for a lover are always going to sound or feel more sexy, exciting and delightful, mainly because its a new sensation wherease the feeling with our long-term partner has fallen into too much familiarity level. But if we look closer and listen to our heart, there is a satisfying/contented/secure feeling at home that an outside lover can't fulfill. Still, just because my marriage can be saved, doesn't necessary means yours could be the same because we are all different individuals