but these two days, I think less of him. All I have to do is to look at my kids' faces and remind myself how much I love my family and I can't possibly let my kids down. After all, I am not really unhappy with my marriage. I even reached the conclusion that even if my marriage fails, W won't be an ideal partner/stepdad. He is quite unreliable and unpredictable. He blows hot and cold too. If I do have a failed marriage behind, I should have known better second time round and be wiser. I would be more careful with who I do go out with. I know you can't control your feelings or choose who you want to fall for but I can't afford to put my kids through more misery. Anyway for now, its back to working on my marriage. Will be back again to check this post. BB, I wonder if your feelings might change after a week in Disneyland with the family? Ivan, like you, I've read self-help, I've talked to bestfriends and family and done research. I've thought things throught, I've distanced myself, I've given it a chance etc., I think all we need is TIME and TIME will heal everything, it could be 6 weeks to 6 months to 1 or 2 years. The most effective way is to NOT think about it. To get it out of your mind as soon as it pops back in. There is a line in