So for example, when at a conference, call your partner, tell him or her you love them and miss them in a way that reaffirms you commitment to your marriage and communicates implicitly that you 100 percent faithful no matter. While its too late for General Patraeus, try to avoid situations that are tempting. So it might have been better for him to have chosen a male biographer. 3. Make wise choices about your mate in the first place. Too many couples live together without a commitment to marry and often do what Dr. Stanley and colleague Dr. Galena Rhoades, describe as "sliding" into marriage, without having the relationship qualities associated with marital happiness over time (see Dr. Stanley's excellent and insightful blog at http://slidingvsdeciding.blogspot.com/ for more information on this and other key topics in the relationship field). 4. Finally, it is important to recognize and deal with early signs that EMI may be starting or a at risk for starting. My colleague, one of the most influential Couples Therapists and authors in the country, Dr. Frank Pittman, has often said that wrote that the corrosive effect of EMI is (and I am paraphrasing here) not whom you lie with but whom you lie to. If you notice that your partner are starting to hide or to lie about phone calls or emails or texts in general supportive confrontation and discussion is likely better than ignoring it and hoping it will go away or becoming a detective. If need by,