a bad boy. They all seem nice in the beginning. But over time, I learned to listen to the alarms in my head, to see the red flags, and not give in to the little crumbs the assholes threw my way to keep me. My boyfriend's actions match his words. If we fight, we actually communicate. If something's wrong, we tell each other, rather than bottle it up. Now the roles are slightly reversed. I have a slightly lower libido than he does. But because I've been on the other side, I try to be GGG, substitute sex with massages, help him out, make the next time a bigger experience, get in the mood rather than shut him out completely. It's not doing something I don't want to do I have been married a long time (20+ years). And I ask myself, how would I be viewed in light of some of these lists - and how I might have been viewed 20, 10 and 5 years ago (in addition to today). Am I am the kind of partner I'd want, say, for a good friend or am I one who should get the boot? We do fall into (sometime negative) patterns during the course of a long term relationship and we need a big splash of ice water (sometimes found in really insightful, helpful comments on a blog) to sit up and assess. And also to assess our partners (be they male or female). This would be a good