depression for the first time but has been suffering (as have we all) for over 40 years. I also feel completely drained. He is on meds but just can't seem to lift the sadness. I find it very very difficult trying to keep another person happy. He has isolated himself from family and friends and won't take phone calls as he "Doesn't have anything interesting to say". I have tried to get him interested in doing small things like fixing up the chook pen or gardening but he either sits and stares or drinks. He is irritable as well and has a short fuse but isn't mean with me. He just keeps apologizing and says that I could have done better and that he is a lousy husband, father, provider, etc. We have had severe financial difficulties although he has a good job but financial decisions haven't been the best. I said to him that happiness is a choice and that I choose to be happy no matter what but it is really getting me down and I have had suicidal thoughts myself mainly just to get away from the situation. I love him dearly and could never leave him so I don't have much choice. Anonymous - hang in there. When things are rock bottom they can only go up! Even if it is desperately slowly. I feel you are far beyond my level of pain that I can only think to direct you to see someone. Go and