their relationship with you. Hearing their parent cannot trust them this can have a profound impact on a teenager. Often just hearing such a comment will be the most significant consequence of all. Look For Recognition Give your teenager the chance to demonstrate they understand the impact of what has happened. Ask your teen if they understand the significance of what has happened. Don't tell them, or ask them to agree with your assessment, but instead ask them to explain to you what has happened. For many teens, this will be a challenging task, and more uncomfortable than any other consequence you may impose. Listening to their answer will help you determine how aware your teen is of the situation and its implications. While each situation is unique, and ultimately dependent on your judgment, there are some key things to listen for. You want to know if your teen is sorry for the actions, if they regret the relational implications, and if they are keen to make amends and rebuild the trust they have lost. Asking teenagers what they consider should be the consequence of their behavior is a good way of gauging their appreciation of the situation. If your teen comes up with a suitably adequate set of consequences, they are demonstrating their comprehension of how important trust is. Reasonable Consequences Good discipline is educative and restorative rather than punitive. There should be consequences for betraying trust, but they need to be connected and in proportion to the breach