carer and about how I am not as grateful as I feel I ought to. Feeling guilty often makes me very angry, too. Its quite vicious circle. di : 04 Jun 2011 4:05:42pm What if your son could have treatment that would take years and put him through a lot of pain for, maybe, not much of an improvement? This seems to me what Stella's article is decrying. The idea that she should go through a whole lot of treatment to achieve something which will not improve her life to any great extent just because walking is seen as something she should aspire to at any cost because it's 'normal'. You are obviously a good person who has made a huge contribution - looking after your son for so long at the expense of your own happiness. It's a very hard situation that you have found yourself in. And if your son could be cured, I'm sure you would leap at the chance both for your son's benefit and for your own. But I'm sure you wouldn't want him to go through pain for very little benefit to either of you and I think that is what Stella is meaning. She is making the best of her situation using the resources that she has and this is something we all have to do. Sam Connor : 04 Jun 2011 5:19:53pm Dear Joan Your comment took my breath away. I was as angry as you appear to be - calmed down,