very reflective and can see the downfall of your own ways -I do wonder how many wives pounce on their husbands when they come home!  I think that you are in love with a fantasy there? As to my update -well...  it is going well.  Following my guilt I told my lover that I did not want to be one of those people who have a double life for years.  It is wrong for many reasons and even if it wasn't. it is emotionally draining.  We have talked and have come up with a preliminary plan for telling our partners and then moving in together.  It is tricky, as things have to be timed carefully and as yet we don't know how best to do things, but it is good to know we feel the same.  I just could not go through life thinking I had missed this opportunity -it never felt quite so right before. It will happen sometime over summer... I just want to ad that this site has really helped me to see things from different perspectives -even the negative comments which hurt me, were useful in making me feel something had to be done. I realise, the nature of what we are going through means that in a few days this could all be blown out of the water -I am so scared of him changing his mind! I think if he does, I will commit to leaving my husband anyway as I was clearly not