up like the mess I am as I desperately try and right the wrongs of my parents before me to prevent the cycle of shit that wrong parenting wreaks. Today we played, I cycled with her, There was lots of attention and fun. I was lovely, gentle, firm...and then bedtime - it's a joke! And it sends me into a psychotic rage which makes me feel that the past 3 years of trying to fulfill all her fundamental needs are a joke and that the last thing she'll remember is me screaming in her face to 'shut up'. FFS! Elaine, I would very much like it if you would get in touch with me, and I will see if I can give you help or support. I totally understand your struggle and I have got really fed up with waiting for my own children to go to sleep MANY times believe me. It is not always idyllic. I published this comment because I am very much hoping that you will get in touch. Hugs to you for now My email is mamamule@hotmail.co.uk Elaine - I have gone through similar frustrations and feelings. I am sorry for the loss of your husband, and what feels like the loss of your self. I am not a professional, just a mom, but if I can be an ear across the pond for you - feel free to send me an email. xtine6@verizon.net I'm reading through my comment now, slightly embarrassed. I caught this