and play with my brother, he was given a soccer a ball and allowed to run free, I had to help out with the cooking and dusting. At the time I don't think I was aware of the difference between my brother and I. I used to the think the attention was good, like I was fine with my grandmother putting lipstick on me as a four year old. But when I think back to it, I'm fairly certain that my brother, covered in mud and shivering with cold, would always leave my grandmother's house happier than me. But I think parents, regardless of what they tell you, they already have a complete image of what they want you to grow into from the moment you're born, before then even. And when you're a child, whether they're conscious of it or not, they try and groom you to become this image. The pivotal moment for my mother, the moment she realised that maybe I wouldn't turn out exactly as she had planned happened when I was around five. I used to have a lot of allergies, and my diet was off and I was lethargic a lot of the time. So as a consequence of that my body mass was higher than most girls my age. So by the time I entered primary school I was already kind of aesthetically separated from the other girls around me with their pigtails and rosy cheeks.And I suffered a really, really hard time