Aw, you love the guy! Except when he drives you completely mental . Martha Beck shows you what to do with a significantly annoying significant other. Recently, I asked a group of ordinary American women to describe their significant others' most annoying characteristics. The responses were startling, not for their content but for the loathing I observed in these usually pleasant, well-adjusted people. If you want to see the red gleam of murder in someone's eyes, if you want chilling insight into the thinness and fragility of the civilized veneer that glosses over humanity's primal drives, don't read Greek tragedy or visit death row. Just listen to a few nice, normal folks talk about the way their spouses fake a Cockney accent, reuse unwashed underwear, or repeat every joke three times. Hating the Ones We Love As we pledge our undying devotion to our partners, it might be wise to acknowledge the flashes of vile, indefensible hatred we occasionally feel toward them. Acknowledging them while they're still small can help us deal with them responsibly. Denying their existence allows them to grow until they overwhelm our social niceties, turning us into various manifestations of the Incredible Hulk. Do you want to reach that point? If not, read on and follow these steps... Step 1: Find the Meaning in Maddening Moments Tom and Jerri were furious at each other. On their way to my office, they'd stopped for a cup of coffee. Tom had also purchased a newspaper and flipped to