it seems you had already made your mind up to begin with and seem quite set on your opinions. I gave my opinion a few pages back - ask you child what he wants to do etc. but to those people who think its selfish to not do what the other parents want, that is an extremely ignorant viewpoint. Assuming single parents who don't honour the other paren's wishes are just bitter, is pathetic. I consider DS's dads wishes but there's no way I would ever take commands from him from a distance. I will always do what's best for DS and will consider his own thoughts and feelings, but as the main parent who does all the hard stuff, as the parent who is raising him, I will do what suits me thank you very much. Everyone's situation is different - if you have 50/50 custody then you presumably have 50/50 say, taking into consideration what the child wants. If there is an agreed custody arrangement then there should also be give and take to a more or less equal extent. But if the ex ****es off and leaves you to do it all, then they have no right to make requests and expect you to honour them! By the way, if a single parent is bitter, there's usually a good reason for that! Taking it out on/involving the children is not ok but venting it out on an adult forum is fine, and can actually help people a