I am the author of this and decided to sign myself up using a pseudonym so that readers are not confused as to who is who or which DB is which! Firstly I agree with Morwenna that not talking to our partner does not mean we are cowardly but for me its because I need a little more time to think before acting in a haste by confessing. I have also read and done some research on affairs and one of the professionals have advised that if you decided to finish the affair and work on the marriage then its best not to tell your partner that you have had an affair (if your partner doesnt know) because once its out in the open, there would be quite a nasty impact and damage. Sometimes its best to just keep quiet about it, what is not known doesnt hurt. Before you critisize this point, may I stress that I am not saying its alright to lie to your partner but this is on the basis that the cheater has decided to finish the affair for good and genuinely want to move on and work on his/her marriage. If there is a need to confess because of guilt, confess to a bestfriend or a pastor or counsellor. I am re-quoting what the professional has written on the article about affairs. Miss Rosy, I have read your article and sorry to hear about your daughter and certainly wish her well and best of