we started our family. He had a lot of friends and they liked to drink & smoke pot, but coming from a kinda boring yet perfect little family i thought it was cool and fun. Well he became verbaly and physicaly abusive & verrrry jelious (which i thought was because he loved me so much). He would either say it was my fault or he was sorry & i would be a dumb ass and say ok. Now that im much older and wiser i realize he was just abusive and still is and it has nothing at all to do with love or even me for that matter. He really is my best friend (as stupid as that sounds) he is now an amazing father & he's a great provider for me, but i have wasted years on a man who had so many possitives BUT that no excuse for a man to beat on a woman. Ive had people tell me they thought my eye was normally black because it seemed as if my eye was always black from him. Ive also been chocked to the point ive almost passed out & ive been knocked unconsious 2 or 3 times with the most resent time a year ago this past October. I completely understand that you feel stuck BUT your not, please dont be 43 years old and look back at your pathetic life and wish you'd done things different, trust me it's a horrible feeling, knowing your