you're a thick slag - and I do think some of that genuinely still exists. But the main thing is that you become a dual heritage family. It kind of alters your own racial identity too. You become responsible for communicating and developing your child's ethnic identity, and so you have to embrace it and make it part of you, too. Not all white mothers accept that responsibility. But if you do, you will find the journey fascinating and far more positive than negative One last thing: I have a birth child who shares my ethnic identity, and an adopted child who does not. Do I have a different kind of bond with my biological child? In some ways, yes. She reminds me so much of myself at that age, whereas my adopted child is a very different personality. But that doesn't imply an extra closeness; with both children, I love the things that unite us but also the many ways in which they are different from me. And I love them equally, without a doubt. Some people do seem to set great store on biological connection and physiological similarity with their children - but those people tend not to adopt. Or, for that matter, seek partners from a different ethnic background. He looks the spit of his father (which is unfortunate as we split up 12 years ago, but hey!). However my DM still maintains that he has a look of me. I don't see it. Even the immigration