killed in large-scale bombings. "It's difficult to guard yourself against someone who wants to die," says Adan. "This is the phenomenon of this war. "And at the end of the day this is the tragedy of this -- young boys are killing themselves without knowing why, without understanding, without planning it themselves." With burning metal embedded in his stomach and head, Adan was airlifted to neighbouring Ethiopia for emergency surgery, then transported to Washington and finally to Toronto, where he is undergoing treatment at Sunnybrook Hospital for lingering ear and eye injuries. For Adan, there is no time spent pondering "why me" and "what if" scenarios. He is pragmatic and positive about Somalia's future. The only dark moments come when he thinks about the past and is overwhelmed by the loss of friends and colleagues. "They have killed so many good people. I know so many people who were trying to do something positive for the country," he says. "That is more painful than what I went through." Beside Adan at the Somali restaurant in north Toronto where we talked this week is his wife Falastine Iman, a witness to one of the most agonizing memories he has. It was August 2007 and Adan was back briefly in Ottawa while Iman, also a journalist, was in Mogadishu. She called him Aug. 11 to tell him the tragic news -- Mahad Ahmed Elmi, a popular host of HornAfrik, had been shot to death on his way to work. "I had convinced