the bottle and usually drank more as a result. The binges got longer and the gaps between them got shorter. Finally waking up and smelling the strong coffee was the start of my road to recovery. Abstinence I have found is the only option. There is no question of whether I should have a drink or not -- I don't drink -- pure and simple. You know in your heart whether you are the same. Dear Splatzz & everyone Day 6 for me today. Something really dreadful happened last saturday as a result of my drinking that fills me with shame & regret. the only way that I can make sense of it is to stop this. Not for a year but forever. That sounds too scary so I'm just going to stop. Perhaps by doing that I can regain some self-respect and forgive myself. I have a family party to go to on saturday. A 40th birthday party. There will be lots of drinking. I want to wake up on sunday feeling good about myself not this terrible shame. Strength to all Angelica Wishing you good luck Angelica. Stopping for good is far too daunting a prospect though don't you find? I stopped by postponing the next drink. I reminded myself that I could have one whenever I wanted (true) but I wouldn't have one just at that particular moment. All the best to you, Sal xx Life has thrown some real bad things over the last 12 months