way of not being accountable for the way in which they are approaching a woman. They want sex but don't want to ask for it, then later when they get it no one can say they pursued or 'promised anything.' As for getting asked out, I do believe in self-fulfilling prophecies and I have stopped telling myself "I never get asked out." I don't get hit on every time I leave the house, like some BR ladies, but I do okay. Interestingly, I've been in New York state the past week or so and am amazed at the difference: I feel way more attractive, and it is creating some kind of loop that builds on itself. More men here look at me. At least seems this way. Because I'm more relaxed because on a trip? because I'm 'in America'? because I'm in a place that isn't almost all white folks? Or am I imagining it? Who knows. I think, hey, more men find me attractive here. I smile more. It's easier to say hi. And, perhaps, because I'm away from home, I feel like I'm just chatting up the locals, so I chit chat with practically everyone. I did it this weekend at the coop, standing in front of a shelf of bottles of castile soap. "Holy,... This post really spoke to me. As I said here before, I had asked out my xEUM thinking that I was picking up signals and he was too shy to do the asking.