you see, you're far better off than me You've got your old man at home, and I've got none Though at times, they plays the game, and calls us out of our name Still, men's useful, sometimes, when all's said and done They protects you from the storm, and they keeps you nice and warm And they loves you, now and then, you must agree.' Mrs Green said, 'Very fine! Mine did, once upon a time Now he loves the skittle alley more than me.' Chorus: 'I was once his turtle-dove, he'd sit all night, making love And was never happy, when I wasn't near I tries hard to tempt and tease him, but, somehow, I never please him It's a thing of the past, old dear.'