the first time, also assume the stereotypical characteristics that go along with the tag, so she may think that to be an ideal mother-in law, she has to act in a certain way. But the daughters-in-law may anticipate such treatment from her, and might even see normal interpersonal conflict as harassment on the part of their mother-in law. Tips on getting along with your mother-in-law. Dos and don'ts. Well be as adjusting as you can, but not so much that you end up being passive all the time. Assert yourself politely from the start. Do only what is in your capacity to do, once you beginning a trend make sure you're able to follow through with it. Remember she was in her son's life first, so do not try to compete. Your relationships are not the same. Love is of different kinds. Realize that both of you have your spouse's best interest in mind. Have open discussions in the presence of your spouse, so that all three are aware of what is said. Keep it polite. Do you think daughters-in-law may also advertently or inadvertently be responsible for bad relations with the mother-in-law? Are many mother-in-law and daughter-in-law problems just because of misunderstandings? Of course, when there are two people involved in any relationship both contribute to the problem. If the daughter-in-law falls prey to the stereotyped notion of a mother-in-law she starts off in the relationship viewing her as an adversary and not an ally. Yes misunderstandings and lack