in the day and to be honest there are only so many coffee mornings i can do and dont get me started on my mums mantra of 'well the house could be cleaner' - god its not a tip, in fact not bad considering I have not much interest in it. Always thought the good man, nice house, and comfortable living (not that well off but ok) would bring me the happiness I craved, but 13 years of marriage on and I know I would have lived in a tent if only i could have had P by my side. Life has an air of disappointment to it today and as bedtime approaches I feel relived that another day has ended. I dont want P back, just the feelings. He was never going to leave her for me, ever no matter what he said. You know, I only ever wanted to be happy - and i was for the 4 months we were together. The best thing that came out of all this is that i was a very tight size 12/14 and now an easy 8/10. Stress works! who needs weight watchers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are right April and all those who say otherwise have not been through it - even now, new friends join our thread which proves it happens all the time to someone but no one knows the answers... I am now thinking that we are just not designed to be with one person for all time. Only