I wanted him back because I missed him, but now he just bugs me all the time. I simply dont want this but at each turn I am afraid to jump ship. But my girls deserve a happy mum just not sure when I will be strong enough to follow the whole thing through. We have a holiday booked, so maybe after that. It may be that the break away together makes or breaks - something has got to happen.... trouble is I am always making excuses... just scared. My main problem is the inability to move on from P in my head. Still cant believe it is over... still hoping... Madness!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Suzzy Suzzy, I know exactly how you feel, I truly do. i have read, and re-read my post, and my journal entry a couple times today (the say about the same thing). I know that this is what I have to do, but i am no where near over the girl. She had this big meet over the weekend, and when we talked last week she said she would call me yesterday, she promised. Well, it is today, and I have not heard from her. Everytime my phone lights up with a new message, I check it immediately thinking that it is her. I know it is over, I do. I have not accepted it yet, but I am really, really trying. I figure if I say it enough, then I will start to believe it. I was