brief security, before it emerged my next house came pre-infested, with larvae in the carpets. How did the Bayeux tapestry last for hundreds of years before the arrival of poison spray, impregnated strips and the pheromone traps that have finally offered this household a measure of peace? Smug pest controllers like implying that our ancestors were just superior housekeepers -- a claim that sits oddly with many accounts of early modern hygiene. Maybe moths just got cleverer? Not that you need a particularly high moth IQ to outwit householders who are already at war on several fronts against ants, mice, woodworm, food moths, nits and woodlice. That said, it is possible to defeat moths. You could, for instance, burn your house down. You could dress the family entirely in synthetic fleece. Alternatively, you could abandon human relations, give up your job and, like Achilles, devote the rest of your life to warfare. Since it will not, in fact, be enough, once, to empty, spray, fumigate, launder, remove soft toys from weeping children, freeze, rebag, spray, then strew with lures hand-dated to facilitate renewal every three months. You have to do that for ever. Also, the heating should be low, preferably off. In the end, even the most passionate knitwear lover must wonder, is any jumper worth it? Searching for someone or something to blame, I identify a combination of vintage clothes and ignorance. In a previous life I lived with a keen collector of dead men's suits, tweeds and dinner