to convince her to go for the day but not stay over. He has now been to a solicitor and wants joint residency, will he get this if she has lived with me for the last 7 years, and she doesnt want to go? Surely usetting her and disrupting her home life is not in her best interest. Thanks Stressed mum A. Hi Contact must be for the benefit of your daughter. If she is stating clearly that she does not wish to go, one must explore her reasons. It must be difficult for father to miss his contact and it will assist him to understand and co operate if he knows why contact is being rejected. It is not appropriate to ask your daughter directly but if there is a way to encourage her to tell you why she is unhappy with Daddy, then that would be a starting point. Perhaps then you could both work together to address her concerns. She may be bored, she may feel left out, she may be uncomfortable. Many things can be addressed and the relationship saved. If the matter proceeds to court, a children's officer will speak to your daughter and try to ascertain her feelings. The court would then direct an appropriate way to proceed. It may be that she is too young to articulate her feelings, in which case the children's officer will recommend the best way forward. Essentially, if you can attend mediation and try to work this out