has been going on for three years and I feel I'm forcing him to go to a household he is not comfortable in and he is an outsider. He also says his 'stepmum' smacks him which I of course do not agree with and I'm rather concerned. I'm not sure what to do as I am soon to be a student but feel he is more comfortable with me and I want to reduce the time he spends with him as I feel it is decreasing his abort to fit in at home and school as well as hindering disciplinary procedures at home as he has two completely different lives! My poor boy doesn't doesnt know whether he is coming or going and it is affecting his learning capabilities considerably! His teachers are extreme concerned also that the court agreement is a bog issue for his education and soci abilities. Any advice? A. Hi I sympathise with you. Do try talking about the concerns to his father in a way that is not accusatory. Say how your son is often afraid/reluctant to attend contact and see if your ex offers any reassurances or useful ways to deal with the situation. If you cannot have that conversation and mediation doesn't work, ask you solicitor to write a non confrontational letter dealing tactfully with the issues. If you feel it appropriate, reduce the contact until the issue is resolved. Good luck. Your son needs you to protect him from harmful situations and