100% try in it. If it doesnt work despite me trying hard and despite not having William around, then at least I know I have tried and my marriage still didn't work. It does cross my mind what if by then, I have lose William? He could have met someone else by then. Well I don't expect him to hang around waiting for me. Its going to hurt badly but if I could hurt my husband by walking out on a ten year marriage then the pain of losing William (who is a few months affair) is nothing compared to the amount of pain and distress I cause to my husband and kids. If I expect my husband to pick up the pieces and carry on his life after such a big impact then surely I can pick up my little pieces of heartbreak and move on too. I am not at all strong, I still have the "what could have been" thoughts on my mind. I am still going through phases of up and down missing William and trying to convince myself I am doing the right thing. I still need the support and some encouraging words, that is why I am on this site. Keep writing. And many thanks to all who write in. Suzzy, you are making the toughest decision of your adult life here and its so scary.  Yes I have been married twice, my first husband was all wrong from the minute I married him.