and had low self-esteem, so of course I didn't look approachable! Especially #6, If a guy did show interest, I'd feel nervous or could plain not believe it! So I decided to work on myself, I'm fitter and more confident, I now go out a lot, different activities. I used to hang out a lot w/gay males, and as limiting as it was back then, it helped me be more social and sure of myself. I also started to chat anyone up, my Mom is great at it, so I always think of her. It doesn't matter what you say, it's how you say it! It took me a few years, but you'll get there if you try, Karen! I'm not a striking gorgeous beauty, but people say I'm cute and social, so that works for me! It's amazing how people will open up once someone breaks the ice, my favorite line is "so are you excited about (whatever is coming up, an event, trip, sports event, etc)?". People open up quickly. I also recommend trying to meet guys not necessarily in a bar or dating sites, but in amateur sports teams, running clubs, etc. This works for me, hope you find what works for you!! 1) They don't go out 2) If they do go out, it's a limited social sphere. 3) They don't talk with people who potentially could be of interest in a social setting 4) Their body language is closed off 5) If they're around someone