that I had to stop trying to have a close relationship with her. When she stung, it hurt even worse because I thought "we were finally getting close." Now we all (her son included) pay attention to her seasons, her demeanor and then beat a hasty retreat (even if it is in the mind) if there is a storm brewing in her mind. Yes, it is exhausting and taxing. But it beats the hell out of getting your ass kicked emotionally and mentally (which takes a tremendous amount of time and energy to get over). ToolBoxGirl Excellent post -- so many of us with in-laws can appreciate! I don't just have in-laws, but I also have my husband's ex-in-laws who welcomed me into their family as a daughter and a sister. My mother-in-law (because what else do I call her?) appreciates everything I do for my stepkids in particular, my youngest stepson who lives with my husband and me (we're custodial). Likewise, she gets GRAMMIE privileges. I don't even ask. But if it is something important, that I know grammie can help with, I'll let her know something specific that we're working on with "Junior" (he's 17, the baby, ADHD, LD, socially delayed yada yada yada) and she always steps up. I love my "in-laws..." couldn't have asked for better myself! Katie My husband and his mother have never had the typical loving parent/child realationship. In fact, it was quite the opposite: yelling, being ignored, etc. This was going on