am still caught in the middle trying to figure out what to do.  I have been with my husband for 15 years -- married for 10. We grew apart over the years and I have built up a lot of disappointments and resentments towards him. I have been thinking of a separation for years because I am just not happy and am frustrated with the marriage. I asked him to go to counseling years and years ago...but he blew off the idea. I looked at apartments about a year and a half ago, but he didn't take that seriously either. Told me how it would mess up the kids. And I love my kids. I have been a stay at home mom for 10 years.  My life is comfortable -- finances are good - I can stay at home and spend without giving it too much thought. My husband is reliable and generally a good guy.  BUT I don't have many loving feelings for him and dread intimate relations. Don't really even like much phyisical contact whatsoever from him. I am a passionate person, and he is..well...just the opposite. We just don't connect anymore and I find myself dreading to be around him. He is like a dark cloud when we are together. Well, last summer, I became friends with T and that led to more and more until I also found myself in a full affair. I asked my husband to separate, but he didn't want to. I started