can be when someone is obsesionally in love with you.  I ended up so as I could not stand the sight of him! Pleased to say he has left so no longer  an issue, but food for thought maybe? Hello to new poster -you are in good company here... I find that I am taking a welcome break from my lover for a few days as so busy.  It does give time to reflect and all of a sudden things don't seem so bad or urgent.  I know I am not overly fulfilled at home, but acutally I am quite happy and have no grounds to complain compared to many.  I wonder even if I actually want him to commit to leaving as a sign of his devotion to me, even though in my mind I am not sure that I could commit!!! To the new guy - I do think that given the length of your relationship you need to act now -if you really love her then go for it otherwise end it and commit to your wife.  Surely your wife desreves a chance to find someone else too? April x April, You are very right, and I worry that I have scared her away with my actions last week. I think I just got caught up in it all and could not control it. And I know that I am risking ruining any chance that there may be left, but I just cant seem to control my