were meritocratic. We definitely are not. That's what I can't get my wad around. And comparing to the worst of the lot and feeling good is not really what I want to do either. Another problem is that none of us really know what other people think of us and that can vary from person to person. Eg you think I am direct someone else thinks I am rude. I work ith someone who thinks she is really hard working; I think she is a lazy cow who spends too much time making everything into a drama instead of just getting on with it. But who is right? You say you are emotional.What sorts of things have you got emotional at work about,that maybe other work colleagues didnt get emotional over? What changes have you suggested be implemented that have not been taken up. I think you said you moan.Have fellow colleagues commented on this. Are you British? Have you worked abroad and are now working in the UK,and have suggested your work place does some things that you have gleaned from working overseas. What age are you? Dont answer any if this if you dont want to. Might they think you may want to start a family soon,so are possibly discriminating against you. Do you meet up with them socially at all. Do you say to them from time to time that you feel like leaving? ooh,coming across as arrogant and unapproachable. If that is what people see and