of Americans (particularly, New Yorkers) of the taste-making set who often have no more direct tie to Britain than an affinity for Downton Abbey,? the NYT?s Alex Williams writes. I was in England earlier this year, and though I spent most of my time being jetlagged and avoiding their hideous breakfasts, I did pick up some slang?words like lorry, as in "I would rather be hit by a lorry than eat another English breakfast." So I figured this would be easy. I boned up on my Britishisms by rereading Brideshead Revisited and consulting the Wikipedia entry on British slang. When Hurricane Sandy knocked out the electricity, I couldn?t hold it in any longer. "Well, this is all to cock!" I cried. "Numpty," I said under my breath. ?What?s a numpty?? my wife asked. ?That?s exactly the sort of thing a numpty woud say,? I snapped. Later, in need of some light, I resolved to hammer a candle into an empty Coke can to make an impromptu candleabra. But I needed the right tools. "Do we have a Birmingham screwdriver?" I asked. My wife paused before answering: "Well, I'm sure there are some tools around here." "Yes, but do we have a Birmingham screwdriver?" "I don't know how to answer your weird question!" she wailed. I had discovered one of the main problems with being trendy: If you don?t hang out with other trendy people, then what?s the use? Worth a read, I think. * Two of Joe Queenan's best known