you want to say while you still can, say it today, say it tomorrow and I hope you have even more tomorrows and don't have to live with the regrets that I have.  Life is okay it's the dying that is cruel, as you say watching a once once proud, stong man turn into a shadow of himself is a horrible thing to have to do but at least you have been there every step of the way, supporting him through whatever treatments he has had, helping him just by being there.  I went to see the oncologist after my husband passed away as we had still been waiting for some scan results and one of the things that she said was that I was always there at all of his appointments, for all of his chemo cessions 8.00 / 17.00hrs once a week! etc etc and that he was fortunate for that as a lot of people of have nobody to help them through this and always be by their side. Sorry if I'm rambling a bit, seem to be coping a lot better than I was, he passed in July but just got very upset again writing this.  Some days are okay, other not so and the nights are long.,..,.., Just make the most of what little time you have left together please and take care of yourself as I know that the carer is often the forgotten one in this whole sorry process.  Hopefully you have other