you are warm, why don't you come for a meal this weekend.  Clearly she's taken no notice of the cycle (despite asking every time we see her where Ian's at) and I texted back that Ian had chemo yesterday, the previous six days had been brutal and the next six are likely to be ditto - can we take a rain check - it took a lot of self-control not to blast her - how much effort does it take to note on your calendar when your good friend's chemo will be over the next few weeks???  Did I tell you that we heard recently from friends of 35yrs standing who suddenly came back into our lives that word went round town that Ian and I had shut and bolted the doors and wanted no contact from anyone now his cancer had come back.  If I could find the source of that rumour, I'd swing for them because the isolation and loneliness has been hard for my very social, talkative Ian to bear.  And if I hear one more time that "no-one knows what to say to you" I will go into orbit!!!!!!  My stock answer is "Try hello Ian, how's things with you...."  I hate to say that Jan's lovely hugs and chats with allotment pals will probably suffer when/if her cancer comes back - they will all be happy she's cured!! now - they don't have to face their own mortality now - and they will be scared