is brilliant: "...when we dress and act in a way that's a true expression of our most vital selves we gain confidence and power." It astonishes me how, by trying to help our children navigate the world, we so often, unwittingly, cause lifelong damage. I cannot imagine your mother wanted to crush your soul, but her advice was tragic nonetheless. I often wonder what I may be doing to my own girls that will haunt them, and me, ages from now, and try to guide them gently, while letting them find their own way. I will have failed in many deeds, but I can only hope they will be strong and forgive me these failings. Thank you for the thought provoking post! You write so many wonderful ones. In my childhood I always stood out because my mother hand sewed all my clothes and they never looked like what anyone else was wearing. I don't recall becoming uncomfortable about that until we moved to New York and my strange Canadian accent made my standing out just that much more obvious. I regained the joy of standing out in my 40's and am happy to dress distinctively. The stress of trying to fit in crushes our creativity and exuberance! Very thought provoking post. It depends on my mood, sometimes I want to just blend in, be invisible, and other days or evenings, I want to stand out a bit. But my nature is inward, so I'm sort of happy blending in.