and had the same thing be prepared but u can't be it's the hardest thing in the world at the same time a sence of relief boing they won't be in pain or have to fight no more just treasure those precious memories and time use have together love and hugs for u xxx Your post brought Back to me when my dad was dying age 47 when I was 24 a few years ago now!! He wanted everyone to carry on as normal as possible and wanted quality rather than quantity so refused chemo to giv him a little more time. He didn't want to talk about it much and never said goobye!! I remember like you thinking how cruel it was to know he was going to die. He had a good couple of months until he was bed ridden for about two three weeks and I helped to nurse him with my mum. He was on a lot of painkillers and unconsious for the last week or so or most of the time at least!! My mum who was not a drinker then or since sipped whisky!!! Never drunk just sipped slowly all the time!! Although I'm not sure that's a very healthy thing to tell u that's what she did and for quite a few days after he died. I remember the dya she announced that she needed to let go of her crutch now!!and she did!! Has not really touched a drop since!! I think