known where we draw the line in the sand. If people want a relationship with me, I tell them they have to respect me on this as I will not tolerate hate speech and racism. Life is too short and too precious to put up with hate speech and bigotry as it is toxic.  What a person can do though is let the parent know their hate speech and racist talk will not be tolerated in one 's presence. Hang up on these people, they will get the message. The bigoted mother may not change her views but she sure as hell can stop spewing that talk in the presence of the child or over the phone. It is OK to draw lines and boundaries with elderly relatives. It leds to better communication if they respect those boundaries and refrain from hate speech when talking to you. My Mom and Stepfather are both more tolerant. In fact, I told my Mom about MSNBC a few years ago and she absolutely has to watch Rachel Maddow every night (her name usually comes up when we're on the phone ;-) -- and this from a person who voted for Bush in 2004! "like this"... but there's research to show that your mom can't help it. Really. Older adults lose their inhibitory ability - so they say things that make their kids hair stand on end, things that even if they had spent 80 years privately thinking them would have never come out