could make an uncomfortable situation worse? What about the other person's point of view? Is it rape if the person doesn't indicate they are uncomfortable? Huge grey area here. Seumas here. I don't share your thoughts that "I wanted them dead" akin to "I want to ruin his life". One is borne out of undirected anger, but the latter shows a degree of more directed vengeance that isn't present in the first statement. It's a subtle point, but I think important. There is the concept that consent can exist up to a point, but if it heads to somewhere that you weren't expecting and you're shocked by the whole event, the person "upping the ante" is to a large degree responsible. Let's pick something obvious -- you are having sex with someone and halfway through, they tie you down with rope and continue. You didn't give any indication that it was okay, but you didn't envision this happening in advance, and you weren't asked, so you didn't consent, and the shock of the situation means you didn't refuse. You just take it. Now, what if someone is on top of you and in the throes of passion they pin you down and prevent you from moving to the point that you feel threatened? Again, the feeling of shock can be such that you don't know what to do, so you lie there and take it -- but you really don't want to be there -- and you didn't consent to