kid Bobby is a bad kid." If your child says something like this because she's been bullied by another child, validate her hurt feelings while reminding her that Bobby is an individual. "Send the message that it's not okay to judge a person by a group," Wright advises. Call people by their names rather than labeling them by race, and teach your child to do the same. If your child's grandparents or other adults in her life make racist comments, don't let them slide. Discreetly point out how your own view differs. Filter the media, and talk about what your child sees. Don't let your child watch TV or read newspapers unsupervised. The media too often transmits stereotypes and distortions regarding race. While school-age kids understand that TV is not reality, they easily pick up on subtle messages about race and culture, so step in to challenge any racial stereotypes you see. If a news story about a racially charged incident comes on, take it as a "teaching moment" to discuss tolerance. Don't overdo it. Talking openly is good, but you can place too much emphasis on race. Overemphasizing is no better than avoiding the topic. Give your child information, but in small doses. Aim for "color fairness," not "color blindness." If you don't acknowledge differences, you fail to prepare your child to live in a multiethnic society. The message should be that "your ethnicity is part of who you are," says Wright, "and it's important to treat everybody fairly