live in a world were I was inferior and separate. Thus I had to let it go. And in letting it go I realized that it was not the physical place or the physical people that I wanted to get away from it was the holographic world that I created in inferiority and separation that I wanted to get away from. Be honest with yourself -- it is so easy to create an illusion and the fear of loosing what you have keeps you trapped. Walk through the fear for it is an illusion. This has probably been one of the worst events that I had created for myself but I have found the point of gratefulness in understanding that we are powerful in what we are creating and we are powerful in self honesty. It feels like the earth moved from under me -- no stability no security in who I am -- I feel like a babe like I have to learn how to apply myself all over again. Everything that I had thought was real was an illusion. So everyday I start with focussing on breathing and repeating the words "I am here" until I realise I am here. It is quite fasinating, when I look at what was just written here it actually does not even come close to the actuality and realisation of being here. You cannot describe it in words. I have also re4alised through ashtma that if I am not here my chest