mozzarella sticks, and french fries. They're amazing. And they're the reason that the terrorists hate us. Anyway, one summer I was living at home waiting for my new apartment to be ready and I regularly hit the bar and then the diner. Two friends would travel with me and we embarked upon a plan to somehow mash-up these two things. Each night we visited the diner, we'd add one more element to the Happy Waitress. First it was simply grilled cheese with tomato, bacon, and ham. Then we added sausage. Then we upgraded the base from grilled cheese to a patty melt. Soon chicken fingers and mozzarella sticks found their way on. French fries rounded the sandwich out and after 8 long weeks, the monstrosity was complete. It became an official unofficial off-menu item at the diner and was dubbed the "Horny Waitress" by the staff. It was amazing. A few weeks later, some friends came to town for my birthday. We hit the bar, hard, and then hit the diner. Horny Waitresses all around. One guy puked at the sight of it. Two more couldn't believe such a thing existed (they were Massholes who had no concept of late night food). All of us gobbled them down and immediately regretted ever having meet each other. The point of the story, I suppose, is there there is no wrong way to make grilled cheese. If you have crispy bread and warm melty cheese and you like the taste, ya done