it took the edge off for her just enough to help her keep going! I cried alot!! Could see his funeral flashing before me and feeling guilty for 'waiting'. When I was a little girl I used to hang on to my fathers leg when he was going out always wanting to go with him that's how I felt again! And I swore at comments like let's hope it's quick from relatives!! It was quick!! But everythings relative isn't it!! I understand and am glad for that now but not then. Nothing couldv prepared me for the day he died it still hurts sometimes when I think about it- it took years to learn to live with that pain!! I don't think a loved one could ever live long enough or a death be satisfactory!! I am 47 now and have cancer although my prognosis is much better than my poor father. I understand now about hanging on to normality wanting quality not quuantity. Most of all I understand he didn't say goodbye because he couldn't or wouldn't!!! Good for him!!! I am glad he didn't suffer too long for him!! It's never going to be easy or not hard we can only prepare for what me be instore on the journey- no more! And get through the best way each of us know how!! And you will too Hun and share it with us I hope there'd be something wrong with you if it wasn't hard eh!!? I told