what" doesn't just look for blame but sounds like interrogation. You don't want your child to feel like you are attacking them. Use ridicule or sarcasm. This will most likely result in resentment Try to make them feel guilty Make it about yourself, other family members or external people Diagnose your child. That is, tell them that their problem is...or you're doing this because...it's just another way for your children to feel misunderstood You broke their trust As a parent, there are some things that you may do that your children will perceive as invading their privacy, breaking their trust and attacking them. This could include reading their diary, searching their bag or bedroom for drugs. Your children will be angry and will lash out at you and the best thing for you to do is to explain to them that you were worried and hurt and that there was behaviour and signs that led you to make the choices that you made. If these types of controversial moves can be avoided by you it is best. Realistically though, these are the sort of measures parents feel the need to resort to. If this occurs, you need to be ready to explain yourself. Help them to avoid drugs Even after having open, honest discussions with your children, sending them out to fend for themselves and leaving the ball in their court can still be a horrifying thought. There are some things you can do without suffocating or pushing your children