folks by nature are built to take more than the inch you give them. they always want to test boundaries. there's stuff to be ignored and there's stuff to be dealt with. I am the type of man that give you the cold, silent treatment when I am upset with you. When you keep on poking me to "communicate" what's bothering me, you gonna find out the hard way because you are already F'ing up and your making it worse. You are going to get what's coming to you and like I said before, I don't apologize afterwards. If I'm upset with something, someone, I usually need a few minutes to process my emotions (i.e. why am I upset, is it really that serious, what's a proportionate response?), so I may go 'silent' then; but if it's at/with/about my wife "I'm processing" is fine. Limited physical threats I don't take as much time to process, but some situations (I've found) require me calming down and assessing them so that I can state my points reasonably, calmly, and they have the desired effect. Mike -- Well if you've shut down on your partner and are upset but have not let her know why, then isn't that your fault if she asks you what's wrong? Your partner should be concerned with what's going with you. I have to be pushed very hard for my temper to show. Time is a friend when something happens to upset me. If I just give it