There was a rumour going around that the MGM lion mauled and partly consumed one of its handlers. It was nonsense but such is our devotion to animal mascots I imagined the studio execs waiting until the animal had finished, cleaning its teeth with a toothpick, and filming it roaring for the upcoming Bond film Skyfall. Is a healthy misanthropy at the heart of our preference for animals over people as symbols of our sporting teams? Probably. Why would you have pictures of aged care nurses, garbage truck drivers, and drinkers of long cans of bourbon and cola emblazoned on our sporting jerseys when we can have lions, tigers, wallabies, emus, roosters and spotted eels. There are some mascots in human form although saints, demons, vikings and titans are pushing the envelope. Essendon, to their credit, went for something that is neither animal nor human. But the design doesn't look like a bomber at all. They should have used the grand old Lancaster. Alright, it was as slow as a wet week and would today be shot out of the sky by an Afghan goat herder with an AK- 47 but it looks magnificent. Birds are perfect sporting icons. To us they are a combination of grace and frightening depravity. They can also be symbols of peace and freedom. They've got serious historical credibility too, being related to the dinosaurs. And like all animals, they are scarily unpredictable. Which is probably why the year's top five AFL teams have avian