of her getting her life together and the shock was overwhelming. As a family we had gone through every emotion during the previous 3 years and although we had all done the very best we could to support her, we were all in our own private hell. It was so hard to come to terms with the fact that my beautiful, perfect baby girl born 24 years ago had such a miserable life and had literally self destructed. Several weeks after her death I called in to the drug rehab where Belinda had spent the last couple of months of her life. Along with her meagre effects, I was handed her journals - a partial record of her life during the previous 3 years. That night when I opened one of the journals I was shattered to read one entry that had been written a couple of years previously, during her most successful hospital/drug rehab admittance when she was about 80 days clean of all drugs. Amongst the many daily entries detailing her daily struggle with life and drugs there was a poignant entry detailing the sexual abuse she had been subjected to, by someone trusted by the family, when she was 4-5 years of age. At that very spiritual moment I realised why she had taken her life. How could I have been been so blind- How could I not have known what was going on in my daughter's life- How could I have missed all the signs- I