a difficult child to begin with. Second reality check:  I'm 65 years old.  My brother is 67 years old and lives in another country.  We were witnesses of the same events in our lives until I was 23 years old and he was 25.  Few years ago I went to visit him and as we went down the memory lane it was incredible how we remembered the events differently.  As the years pass, your memories change to make sense of the experience you gathered through the years.  Growth keeps occurring.  If your daughter accuses you of poor motherly skills be truthful saying: "Oh yes, when I look back I see how naive and inexperienced I was.  But I know better now!" I believe you are on the road to independence.  Tell your daughter that you are done with apologizing for past mistakes and that you will communicate with her only if she respects you the way you respect her.  You do not need the drama and hurt.  Move on! It has been suggested that if one feels the way you do, you should write about it.  Open your heart and you mind putting all the sorrow and anger on paper.  After all is done, shredded or burn it.  Very cathartic and recommended by therapists.  Out and gone! You can't force her to love you but you do deserve respect no matter what she thinks you have done, or not done. She is grown up, living her own life. You should