Communication aimed at educating or boosting cohesion should involve a broader set of people than would be needed if the aim were just getting the best answer. Less experienced, less believable people may not be necessary to decide an issue, but if the issue involves them and you aren’t in sync with them, that lack of understanding will in the long run likely undermine morale and the organization’s efficiency. This is especially important in cases where you have people who are both not believable and highly opinionated (the worst combination). Unless you get in sync with them, you will drive their uninformed opinions underground. If, on the other hand, you are willing to be challenged, you will create an environment in which all criticisms are aired openly.

Recognize that you don’t need to make judgments about everything. Think about who is responsible for something (and their believability), how much you know about it, and your own believability. Don’t hold opinions about things you don’t know anything about.

Pay more attention to whether the decision-making system is fair than whether you get your way.

An organization is a community with a set of shared values and goals. Its morale and smooth functioning should always take precedence over your need to be right—and besides, you could be wrong. When the decision-making system is consistently well-managed and based on objective criteria, the idea meritocracy is more important than the happiness of any one of its members—even if that member is you.

The most appropriate people are either the people you both report to (which we call the point of the pyramid in an organizational chart) or someone you mutually agree will be a good arbiter.

Recognize How to Get Beyond Disagreements
