Severely Affected With Fear Of Kufr
Assalamu alaikum, yes I know the obedience is not absolute and there is a reason behind it. But if I find this obedience to be not tolerable for me as I can not accept someone preventing me from doing something (which I have the right to do). I will feel that why is he preventing me! I am a free human being. I have my own wills. So ultimately this “obedience” seems to be impossible for me to tolerate. I am not rejecting,auzubIllah. So as feel, I can be thinking so and which will ultimately make me a bad wife or create issues in life, that is why I feel staying away will be a safer option for me. Is reasoning this way a sin? To be honest marriage responsibility really seems very buredensome to me. Please be ensured I am not aruging. I am just sharing. (As in writing vocal tone is not possible to deliver) If any of my question seems to be arguing please be assured it is not. I am just fearing Islam. But I used to love it a lot. But perhaps the wordings of the fatwas I read was misunderstood by be. Or may be culture of middle east is to using harsh words for woman. I don’t know. But as I don’t want to loose my freedom I dont want to marry. I am a human being too. I too have my own plans dreams. I cannot loose them in case my husband is not ready to let me achieve them. I am not arguing.
@Sabibilal thank you for your warm words in the1st messgae.