Socio – Cultural Evolution
Despite Mr Ghamdi’s displeasure for the use of the word “partner” in the context of marriage, in my humble opinion, a closer analogy would be a partnership where the two partners share risks and profits and have equal stakes. The husband can be termed a senior partner if the desire to be the head of family unit is so insatiable in men. However, instead of putting the focus on women to accept their husbands as heads of family units this world would be a much better place if instead men are taught that as a head of family they are neither emperors nor rulars or dictators. Allah has merely given them a degree above their wives and nothing more. Infact if men use their rational minds they would quickly realise that it’s not a status they want to gloat about because it’s not a position of privilege or authority infact, it’s a position of enormous responsibility. And unlike what men love to believe it doesn’t give them the status of a ruler or a dictator. They still have to conduct themselves on the principles of “amrohum shura bainahum”. Even the so called kings and heads of dynasties were nothing without the support of their shura let alone husbands. If only men are taught that if a marriage fails it’s their leadership role that was flawed and as a result they failed as the heads of their respective family units. Just like when an organisation fails it’s the CEO who is to blame nobody else. So let the husbands not look towards wives for the blame game. Happy marriages are not happy because the wives are good. Happy marriages are happy because the husbands are good leaders and know how to conduct themselves and take the family along. One of the attributes of a good leaders is that they are aware that they are not bosses they are only leaders and facilitators. And a good leader is self aware, empathetic, progressive and knows the art of when to lead from the front and when to take a back seat and let the junior partner take the lead and grow in confidence and experience . A leader doesn’t say “go” . A leader says “let’s go”. A leader doesn’t demand respect, a leader commands respect. As long as men don’t realise their roles as true leaders there will always be frustration and resentment in women towards their husbands and husbands will inevitable face rebellion from their wives . These are natuural reactions to what men put women through. So let the society fix the disease rather than the symptoms. Do you disagree brother? Wasalaam