Sexism In Islam?
@ Abdullah “I feel that a husband needs to/should consult with his wife” There’s no denying this. The cause for your confusion is that you’re looking at marriage through the lens of the modern day concept of equal partnership. Islam, on the other hand, views marriage as an institution with one person bearing the responsibility and having the final authority, while the other person aligning herself with the first. The husband has been asked to treat his wife well, and in addition Islam gives a very broad moral code of conduct to every Muslim which of course includes husbands and wives. Every Muslim is supposed to treat others with love, empathy, and dignity, and is never supposed to exceed the bounds of justice established by God. “It seems like husbands can override any decision of their wives” Technically yes, however, practically, men who go this route would go against the essence of God’s will, and as you also pointed out, would ruin their marriages. “If one person has the authority to override, than this might sow the seed of grudge and discontent in the other person” Not if the man and the woman have accepted in their hearts the Islamic concept of marriage. You have to look at this topic in the context of God conscious men and God conscious women who understand their rights and responsibilities, God’s scheme, as well as their roles in that scheme.
Muhammad, here are some real example. 1. A husband want to spend some money to help his parents in need. The wife apposes it and husband tries to convince her unsuccessfully so he goes ahead and overides the decision. 2. Husband wants children to take some religious classes and the wife apposes it because she is not into religion. 3. Wife pushes husband to move to another city away from husband’s parent for no apparent good reason. 4. Wife wants to buy a property a little too expensive that would put family into difficult financial situation and perhaps husband will have to take a second job.
Muhammad, if all chores and all responsibilities were equally divided (which is practically not possible) even then it requires someone to be a leader to make a decision. In some of such families, husband and wife divide their decision making responsibilities for different aspects of life. Still there are some uncompromising issues that cannot be decided mutually and someone has to have authority to overide. I have given some examples above where mutual decision was not possible. Regarding women working. That is like grass is greener on the other side. Disregarding exceoptions, when women are not allowed to work, they want to work, when they are allowed to work, after a while they don’t want to work or they want to work and not share their money or ignore equal responsibility in other chores. Work mostly is no a career oriented and a well paying office work. It will be rare for any man or women to work for money if there is already a sufficient source of money.