OCD
Brother, If your feel that the answers that youa re getting are not fullfilling, you can look at other Scholars that are providing a modern interpretation of the Quran with proofs from the Quran, the problem with most religious scholars is that they build their aqeeda and teachings on mostly material from the hadith since they are unable to decipher the same from the Quran itself while they all agree that Quran is the Furqan. One scholar whom I have found to have answers from the Quran is Dr Hany Atchan who explains the Quran in his you tube videos under Marvelous Quran. Perhaps that channel can answer some of your open questions and bring you to a more placid state.