Responsibilities Of Wives
Fatima aap ka sawal puri tarah se wazeh nahi hai magar jawab ki koshish karta hun: Ghamidi sahab jab ye kehte hein ke biwi ki koi zimmedari nahi hai tow woh iss tanazur mein kehte hein ke shariat ne unn pe koi bojh nahi dala, jab ke mardon pe kamanay ki zimmedari dali hai. Biwiyon se albatta ye taqaza kiya gaya hai ke wo apne shohar ki farmabardari karein. Nikah ke waqt ye baat dono fareeqain ko wazeh taur pe pata honi chahiye. Agar aurat ghar ke kaam kaaj ko sambhalti hai tow ye aik achhi baat ke ilawa hamaray maashray ka aik ‘implicit’ qanoon bhi hai. Iss ki paasdari bhi zaroori hai. Agar koi aurat aisa nahi karna chahti tow us ko ye haq hasil hai ke wo nikah ki sharayat mein iss baat ko shamil karay. Un maashron mein jahan ye urf-e-aam nahi hai wahan iss ki koi zaroorat nahi. Aik saleem ul aqal insaan ke liye iss se ziyada ‘balanced’ aur koi zabta ho nahi sakta.
ji sir aapne bilkul sahi baat kahi or khuda ka ihsan hai ke mere walidain ne bhi yahi taleem de isliye ham apna kaam karne me khushi mahsoos karty hai kyunki hamary liye to facilities hogaye hai jo pehle nahi thi.
The complete answer is given by Wahidudin Khan from India (who also share Islahi-Fatahi school of thought). Pakistanis almost entirely are unaware of this great scholar: Many traditionalist scholars often cite a Quranic verse that describes men as the qawwam of their wives to argue that this means that men are their superiors and that women must be subordinate to them. How do you interpret the term qawwam? It is a universal principle that everywhere—in government, in a business, in a school or whatever—there has to be a manager to handle practical affairs or else there will be chaos. This applies to the family also. This role of manager of affairs is what is actually meant by qawwam. It does not at all imply subordination or degradation, or any sort of hierarchy. Rather, it is simply a formula for overall management and administration of the family. In my own home my daughter is the qawwam. She runs the affairs of the house. She is the manager of the house. So, it does not mean that a woman cannot be the qawwam of her house. Unfortunately, many scholars translate the term qawwam to mean that the man is the hakim or ruler of the house, as if he can be some sort of dictator. Many Quranic commentaries give a completely wrong interpretation of the term. Some go to the extent of describing husbands as the majazi khuda or ‘symbolic god’ of their wives. This is really a sign of deep-rooted patriarchy and deviation from Islamic teachings. It is a biddat or wrongful innovation We have the model of the Prophet Muhammad to explain the correct meaning of the term qawwam. His first wife Khadjiah looked after him when he was in distress. He worked for her, in the business that she ran. He took the advice of another of his wives, Umm Salamah, on many issues, contrary to some Muslim scholars, who argue, without any convincing proof, that a Muslim man may take the advice of his wife but must do precisely the opposite of what she recommends. The Quran also approvingly mentions the case of the Queen of Sheeba, who was the ruler of Yemen. One can cite several other examples to suggest that the Quran does not call for women’s subordination to men, unlike what some traditionalist Muslim scholars as well as critics of Islam claim, and contrary to what their rendering of the term qawwam suggests. Thus, for instance, although the Caliph Umar issued a fatwa calling upon women not to pray in mosques, his wife refused to listen to him and he could not stop her because that was her Islamic right. Barirah, the wife of Mughis, a Companion of the Prophet, once came to the Prophet in order to seek a divorce from her husband. The Prophet advised her against this, to which she responded by asking him if that was his personal opinion or the command of God. When the Prophet replied that it was his own view, she told him that she did not agree, and so the Prophet arranged for her to be separated from her husband. source: https://www.cpsglobal.org/content/maulana-wahiduddin-khan-rips-through-traditional-views-about-women-islam