Can A Haq Mehr Be Demanded?
I’m so sorry brother, this is seems like an awful situation to be in. May Allah Talla do what is best for you. Forgive me, for this is unsolicited advise but I think what Dr irfan means to say is that, the giving of a more expensive Haq Mehar is justified islamically. However it seems that the real issue here is that you are hurt that she unwilling to compromise on what she values on your behalf and she is hurt u are unwilling to compromise your values for her. As someone who is much more sensitive to certain values than her husband, I just want to say I understand your frustration but sometimes the other person isn’t better or worse but approaching the problem from a different perspective. Regardless, u just have to accept the other person holds different opinions sometimes and u are only answerable for yours. Ideally u meet halfway (unless the issue is of a grave nature). Honestly, a lot of marriage can be like that since u have to make so many joint decisions. Also, it is best to be absolutely transparent with your intentions to your spouse from the start, otherwise, much like you are getting emotionally hurt by their words, it is possible that they are interpreting your actions to be hurtful aswell ( actions that perhaps would seem kinder if u had disclosed your intentions sooner). When two people fail to communicate, they give the other an opportunity to assume the worst of them.
Dear brother, Sunnah doesn’t prescribe simple mehr. However it should not be beyond the capacity of the man. Certain things are publicly made during weddings including the Haq e mehr, no matter if it is big. The prophet once advised a person to wear good clothes according to his wealth as God is pleased to see the reflections of His blessings on a man. One is not supposed to judge the intention of a person. Her demand was justified and your understanding of the religious teachings and societal norm need rectification.