Feeling A Personal Connection With God Just Like Sufis
I have experienced closeness before but without any methods that are preached by Sufism, I followed no Tareeqat. And it was a closeness of such a level that at times I had 100% yakeen that if I ask Allah for a thing, it would happen and often times it happened too. I don’t know if it was my expectations being met or something else but it felt really peaceful and that feeling was otherworldly. As I said, I hadn’t followed any tareeqa or a specific way, I was at the end of my teenage and was brought closer to Islam through Molana Tariq jameel’s bayanaat. I didn’t have much knowledge about Islam but I practiced all that I knew with complete honesty, prayed as if I was standing in front of God. May be that did somethings. Anyways, afterwards I got introduced to western philosophy and the questions of atheists, got inspired by them as they made more sense then the Islam I knew then so I got away and stopped believing at all. Now thanks to Ghamidi Sb, I am believing again, this time by understanding Islam and seeing its actual beauty. But for now, I am unable to feel that same connection most probably because I am unable to practice it like I used to, remembering God all the time and making sure my every act is exactly how he wants it to be (I was really conservative). The ways of Sufis and the whole system of Murshad’s and Sheikhs don’t make sense to me. And when I read the Quran myself, I don’t find any such guidance.