Ties With Friends And Breaking Them
Bro let me tell u this logically so u can handle these kinda problems even in future too When two people fight it triggers a fight/flight or freeze response there is a very small part in our brain called Amygdala(it’s responsibility is to detect for threats and danger and give signals to prepare our body) when humans fight and their emtions fluctuate it overrides our brain cognitive part called pre frontal cortex (it’s responsible for logic and reasoning) When we fight our amygdala register it as threat cuz this part has been working since human came to existence so it’s 1st priority is to save us all other functions ability decreases So our ability to think properly make sense of the situation and forgive and forcing resolution backfires After the conflict our brain demands space so it can organize itself and make sense of things and regulate itself So brother you being like this is completely normal and human response and Allah knows this better than anyone else U r not being a bad person or a hypocrite for greeting your friend while not having positive view of him This is emtional maturity not hypocrisy When we are not ready internally and try to fake anything the next person can easily see through us cuz our body and mind aren’t syncing Our brain takes time its slow when it comes to understating complex situations U keep quoting that hadees it was a general hadees for everyone you have whole context of your situation. U don’t have to follow ahadees instead try to understand them Thats why in these situations even companions of prophet and prophet himself never acted on emtions or impulsively rather sat with that discomfort and let it dissolve itself U know what happened to prophet Muhammad pbuh when he went to the people of taif, they treated him so badly. Now ask yourself why he didn’t go back there? His responsibility as the last prophet was to give dawah how much stressed he would’ve been but did he go back? You know the answer. Allah doesn’t test our positivity he tests our ability of how we handle situation without going to both extremes and staying compassionate with others and mist importantly ourselves You aren’t being asked to forgive him to become friends again This is it Allah is testing you by putting u in this situation and he wanna see how you’d actually go through this how you’ll handle it If ahadees were made on each and every situation there would’ve been millions of them Ask yourself and try focusing inward on yourself what is your limit And i don’t know the whole situation so I’ll refrain from giving advice but by what you’ve told me for now just be morally and emotionally composed and give your brain time to settle after sometime (it could be weeks or months depends on the situation) I can promise u on this that you’ll be able to see things more clearly Don’t ever ever make decision when your emotionally driven There is this hadees: Im not quoting it just a brief summary Where Abu bakar and Umer had an argument after some time Abu bakar realized and came for reconciliation but umer refused abu bakar didn’t forced himself nor umer tried to overgive himself later umer when he was ready emtinally he wentt to prophet and abu bakar himself Don’t worry you aren’t being a lair or hypocrite if u r greeting it’s restraint not denial Rn try to understand yourself and keep distance If u go half hearted the next person will notice it So its better to keep distance just dont be rude or humiliate them or fight UNNECESSARILY again I hope this helps u calm down Stop being so hard on yourself The best thing a person can do is be compassionate with their own self Its okey no one is perfect Pray for yourself and him also. Rn you being worried about this situation is something many people don’t care thinking. Allah knows your intention just be true to yourself