Dealing With Emotionally Abusive Parent
I went through this exact situation, but more severe. My father actually beat up my mother many times for innocent things, such as watching TV, reading story books,and while she was holding 2 month old baby in her hands and for many other insignificant things. When I was mature enough I verbally fought with him but couldn’t stop him. I found no way to stop him and even thought about killing him at one time just to save my mother. Allah found a way and he left for work in a foreign country for 14 years and things settled down except when he came home for a month in a year. Anyhow, I never disrespected him but only raised my voice when he was hitting my mother. I never hated him but when he was hitting my mother. He even pulled gun on me to kill me, but I did not disrespect him. He has passed away at the age of 92, but I love and miss him. So in summary, you can hate his specific actions, try to stop him as necessary, but there is no need to hate him totally or disrespect him in normal life. I think that is also what Islam teaches us.