“Is It My Fault If People Misjudge My Quiet Nature?”
Wa alaikum assalam. In the Hadith you mentioned, the Prophet (PBUH) wasn’t necessarily saying everyone has to be an extrovert or talk a lot. He was talking about participation and humility. * Staying “distinguished” in that context meant sitting back while others did the hard work. By saying “I will do this task,” he showed that he was one of them. You can be a very quiet person but still be “one of them.” The Prophet himself was known for his long silences (sukut tawil) and only spoke when it was necessary or beneficial. Being quiet is not a sin; in fact, it is often a sign of wisdom. Technically, you are not responsible for the assumptions others make. However, as Muslims, we are encouraged to remove the causes of doubt. * If people think you are arrogant, it’s usually because silence can sometimes look like “disdain” or a “sense of superiority.” While you don’t have to change your nature, you can bridge the gap with non-verbal kindness. A simple smile, a “Salam,” or a small act of help (like passing a water bottle or holding a door) communicates: “I am with you and I respect you, I’m just not a big talker.” You should not force yourself to talk against your nature just to please people. If you try to act like an extrovert, it will feel fake to you and look forced to them. Authenticity is a high moral value in Islam. Allah created us with different temperaments. If He made you quiet, that is your strength. You don’t owe people “small talk,” but you do owe your companions warmth and humility. As long as your silence is rooted in your nature and not in a feeling that “I am better than them,” you are not doing anything wrong. Just make sure your actions and your face (a smile) tell the story that your words are missing.