Seeking Guidance: How To Deal With A Knowledgeable Relative Who Abandons Prayer
Perhaps there has been a misunderstanding. It is not the case that we keep advising or preaching to him repeatedly. In reality, at night the family and cousins sit together and talk regularly; these gatherings often include joking and, at times, mocking one another. My family members actually stop him in such situations, and since I do not like idle talk, I do not sit there myself—though the voices may still reach my ears. This does not mean that anyone is constantly inviting or preaching to him.Secondly, he is not emotionally or mentally disturbed at all. There is no pressure from his wife, no financial burden; in fact, he lives quite comfortably and spends freely. When a person is genuinely busy, it can be difficult to find time for prayer, but he is completely free.Another important context is that I have chosen to keep my distance because his moral standard has declined significantly. You can now understand that this is an ethical matter. When someone’s moral conduct deteriorates, keeping a distance is appropriate. This is not a case of mental distress, but rather a test of blessings.Perhaps I did not express this clearly earlier: his moral level has fallen considerably. From your discussion, it seems you are well-read and can understand that, in such a situation, maintaining distance is justified. In reality, he broke a commitment he had made to me. We had agreed on a shared learning responsibility, which he violated. Earlier, we trusted his word; later, I even put it in writing, yet he still broke that commitment.I believe the issue should now be clear: in this situation, maintaining distance is justified.
Thank you for clarifying the context. I appreciate you explaining it in more detail. I do want to say, though, that earlier the discussion was presented mainly around his prayer and faith, and now the issue has shifted to moral conduct, broken trust, and personal commitments. These are very different matters, and naturally they lead to very different conclusions. At this point, it feels less like you are seeking guidance and more like you are looking for confirmation of a decision you have already made — and that is actually okay. If you feel harmed, uncomfortable, or unable to trust him because of broken commitments, then maintaining distance for your own emotional and ethical boundaries is valid. You don’t need religious justification for protecting yourself. What I want to gently point out is this: the strongest reason to create distance is your own harm and loss of trust, not a judgment about his inner moral state. None of us — not even siblings — can truly know what another person is going through internally, or measure the reality of their struggle. Declaring someone as “morally fallen” is a very heavy conclusion, and Islam repeatedly reminds us that inner states are known only to Allah. From what you’ve shared, this is also one side of the story. I cannot decisively say whether he is right or wrong based on perspective alone, and I don’t think it is my place — or your’s or anyone’s — to pass a final judgment on his life or faith. So if distancing helps you stay emotionally safe, you are free to do that. Just as he is accountable to Allah for his choices, you are accountable for how you protect yourself. Beyond that, neither of us can carry responsibility for fixing or diagnosing another person’s spiritual journey. I think you’ve already reached clarity for yourself, and that’s okay. I wish peace for both of you, and I hope things ease with time.