Can A Haq Mehr Be Demanded?
JazakAllah khair for your responses, but I feel like many of you did not carefully read what I wrote. I never said I wanted to give Haq Mehr privately. I always intended to give a simple Haq Mehr publicly as Sunnah prescribes, separate from the 3 tola gift. The 3 tola was meant as a private gift of love on the wedding night, not as Haq Mehr. Please don’t mix these two. My issue is not about gold itself. It is about niyyah (intention). If something is done only to “show people,” it becomes a matter of pride and riyā, and the Qur’an has condemned this over and over again: (Surah Al-Baqarah 2:264) (Surah Al-Ma’un 107:4–6) “Indeed, Allah does not like the arrogant and the boastful.” (Surah An-Nisa 4:36) Riyā is not a small thing; it destroys sincerity (ikhlās). The Prophet ﷺ warned that even acts of worship are wasted if done for show off. So how can we ignore this when making marriage — a sacred contract — into a public display of wealth? I tried my best to communicate and done everything. But when a person says “I won’t marry you unless you do this my way for public show,” then it’s not just a communication gap. It’s a difference of values. And values are the foundation of a marriage. So please, don’t reduce this issue to just “understanding each other.” Sometimes it’s not about understanding, but about whether two people truly share the same principles.