Entertainment With Mythology?
All the benefits that you mentioned above can be achieved in alternative ways. Anxiety is sometimes caused by our conscience feeling uncomfortable about something and telling us to stop. If I was in your situation, I would either not persist on an activity that results in such a situation, or understand the reasons for my anxiety and counter it with learning and knowledge. It is not enough to have someone just tell you that it’s okay. You have to understand the principle and apply it yourself. For every single person that conclusively tells you that your activity is not haram, you will find ten that will tell you that it is absolutely haram. Therefore, if the purpose of your question is to subside your anxiety then it won’t be achieved. Ghamidi sahab has explained the principle in the video shared above. Think about it and apply it to your situation with utmost sincerity. That is the only solution to your issue.