হায়, দুঃখিনী চন্দ্রাবতী! জয়চন্দ্রের আত্মহত্যার পর বাকিটা জীবন এভাবেই কেটেছিল কবি চন্দ্রাবতীর । মহিলা কবি বলাটা কি এ যুগে সঙ্গত হবে? তা হলে মহিলা কবি নাই বললাম। তবে বলে রাখি যে চন্দ্রাবতীই নারীদের মধ্যে বাংলাসাহিত্যে প্রথম উল্লেখযোগ্য কবি। তাঁর হাতে অতি সহজেই ভাষা ও ছন্দ ধরা দিলেও তাঁর জীবনে ছিল গভীর বিরহ। আমৃত্যু তাঁর কেটেছিল সর্বনাশা এক বিয়োগান্তক স্মৃতি নিয়ে। চন্দ্রাবতীর জন্ম ১৫৫০ খ্রিস্টাব্দে তৎকালীন বাংলার বৃহত্তর ময়মনসিংহের পাটবাড়ি গাঁয়ে; বাবা ছিলেন বিখ্যাত কবি-দ্বিজ বংশীদাস। মেয়েবেলায় কিশোরী চন্দ্রা ভালোবেসেছিল গ্রামেরই এক কিশোর জয়চন্দ্রকে। পরে জয়চন্দ্র কমলা নামে এক মুসলিম তরুণীর সঙ্গে কী এক সর্বনাশা মুহূর্তে প্রনয়ে জড়িয়ে পড়েছিল।পরে অবশ্য ঘোর কেটে গেলে চন্দ্রাবতীর কাছে ফিরেও এসেছিল জয়চন্দ্র। না। চন্দ্রাবতী গ্রহন করেনি জয়চন্দ্রকে। পাটবাড়ি গাঁয়ের পাশেই কূলকূল করে বইছিল ফুলেশ্বরী নদী। জয়চন্দ্র রাগে দুঃখে হতাশায় ক্ষোভে সে নদীতে ঝাঁপিয়ে পড়ে আত্মহত্যা করল! না। চন্দ্রাবতী আর বিবাহ করেননি। বরং আমৃত্যু বসেছিলেন ফুলেশ্বরী নদীর ঘাটে। কন্যার অভিপ্রায় বুঝতে পেরে চন্দ্রাবতীর বাবা কবি দ্বিজ বংশীদাস একটি শিবমন্দির গড়ে দিয়েছিলেন ফুলেশ্বরী নদীর পাড়ে। সেই মন্দিরের ঘাটেই আমৃত্যু বসেছিলেন চন্দ্রাবতী। মধ্যরাত্রির জ্যোস্নায় ... আমৃত্যু কাব্যসাধনা করেছেন কবি। তারই কিছু নমুনা। 1. Dear Alien Do women not carry water From where you come? Are river banks not allowed To the female sex! Do men bring in the drinking water, carry the vessels? Have your forefathers always scolded you for Looking at a woman? Is it unbearable the thought of a woman touching water, water that gives life… all too precious to be trusted in the hands of women… by the way where is it that you come from? Over here women go to the river everyday, And no ones stares the The way you did today! 2. Divinest Chandraboti I do not know What women carry or do not carry at home or in other parts of the world. I cannot have lived at all Not having seen, before yesterday, you Chandraboti. Oh, was there a river too??! Where I come from Women are sweet, docile, tulsi-tending, husband-worshipping Son-giving, everything a man could ask for And did I still stare at Chandraboti? I did IF she made me Stare Or breathe Or live Or die. Yours, Joydev 3. Dear Joydev How thoughtful of you To leave your letter Among the flowers I had collected For my father, the Acharya’s pooja! Had I not had a wasp to displace settled among that bed of white jui and crimson hibiscus how would I have known that an alien whom I may now call Joydev not only stares but also snoops on women unawares!? You must try harder Joydev. I read a little and Do not easily Swoon at sweet nothings Specially those From men Who know what artifice to use To make menials of fawning women. Truly, Chandra. 4. Chandra Chandra fawn for me! So that I can make a menial out of Chandra? Why mock me, Chandra? I gathered that you read voraciously. My artifices are simple Naïve, a lot more down to earth Than yours that you collect from your books As a bee gluts itself on the honey it takes. Tell me honestly, Without artifices that make virgins virtuous… Have you not felt as I Unabashedly declare I did? Did not your blood rush to touch my letter, I, the Snooper, did not imagine you turning crimson I saw you, wet and trembling, standing among the morning dew in a white saree, your hair like Meghdoot’s clouds. I could have given my life to cling to the moment I laid my eyes on you, Loving you, I did no wrong If your dawn rituals are done out of obsequiousness to a God one cannot see My rituals to follow Chandra, to worship her flesh and soul should not appear unseemly! Truly, Deeply, Madly Yours, Joy. 5. Sutra I have professed I read a little I have not, however, come across any Virgin’s Manual for Fooling Men!! I do not know how to deceive whatever artifices I may possess, I know of a simple sutra though Written by a bachelor (?) sage. The sutra proclaims that Joy is ephemeral And suffering real What Joy gives easily (no puns here on your name) Is taken away summarily on a whimsy. Suffering is the more faithful love Who sits, sighs, woos you to the end. I trembled this dawn, Joydev, as I was cold, Turned crimson because I felt caught In fetters that I did not think existed for Chandraboti. Yes, I am flesh and blood and everything in between that Makes us weak and unwise! You did not do anything wrong to love me because No sanyasi’s sutra clouds your mind. I on the other hand have been warned And I know I am out of my mind To tell Joy that I love him back. -Bewildered, Chandra 6. Bewildered I trembled too, Chandra, because I was hot And not just with desire But because I felt a bewildering sort of peace. I pledge myself a slave to Chandra, in dreams, in waking moments and in slumber. I will hold you, hold me forever too, Chandra Mock me some more, tell me I am raving. But banish sutras, my Chandra, that bewilder you Be my wife, my mate, my soul! Enraptured, Chandra’s Joy 7. Riverbank Why do I tremble so, she is ravishing, I am hot with desire with a bewildering weakness, She’s exquisite, perfect! I will hold you, woman without a name Mock me, tell me I am raving, unfaithful Remind me that I have pledged myself to Chandra. No, banish such thoughts, this Moslem beauty that bewilders me Shall be my wife, my mate, my soul! 8. The Bride-to-be Oh this red is too red for me And oh dear! must I wear those too The filigree gold chains and anklets? Pardon me, I can dress myself. I know Joy wouldn’t care if his Bride came in ashes or in alta We will pay homage to the sacred fire together And I’ll wear my vermillion and shanka Only for Joy, my husband, my equal, my other self. 9. How’s that ! “She is extremely stupid, if I may say so Imagine reading all those books, such a father’s daughter Being so stupid!” “Did you see her shed her gold chains and forget that her aanchal trailed?” “And wipe all those alpanas we made with her dragging feet Silly girl, to think men can be constant!” “But Joydev marrying a Muslim forsaking our ancestral Gods, Isn’t that so over the top?” “I knew this would happen, told her just as much!” “Did you now, how come?” “Strange you should need to ask. Doesn’t falling in love tell you something does it not have an ominous ring?” “Oh, Oh, poor Chandraboti , what will she do, who will have her now?” “Silly girl, to think men can be constant!” 10. Lost in Translation Chandra, hate me As I deserve But I must tell you Of my grief I don’t know how it was I married someone I did not love And forsook, left my Chandra, shindoor-less Waiting for me in her bridal wear. Like in a foreign tongue, Something incomprehensible Was jibber-jabbering in my head My heart, I wish…Chandra You had left me my heart as an amulet! My well-read Chandra, Read in my unabashed anguish, I love you more than myself Translate my monstrous regret As my sincerest protestations of love. Sweet Chandra, hate me as I deserve But have me back! Jalal/Joy 11. Statue This is not you Chandra The Gods have substituted My Chandra with a blankness stone for flesh And stillness for breath Ah! Chandra I know you love me still But are blind to your Joy, to his fate, to his life! I am raving, it wasn’t you, it was I who was blind, Blind in love for Chandra, blind in my errant ways, blinded now by your glistening reserve. Tell me, Chandra, tell me you are human Like the rest of us, that blemishless Though you are, you understand Frailty and Weakness, and Corruption Not only as discourse, but also as human passions We are not statues or Gods Chandra, speak to me one more time And I will be gone, Forever, leaving you My unwed wife! in your barren temple. 12. Temple Door How quiet it grows all of a sudden! How peaceful How monstrous looks the dawn Red, vermillion, gold! Or may be it’s just my reddened eyes that makes it look so vile Old temple threshold, hold me, protect me Ancients guide me What poor comfort my books are now And you Gods that stare and stare Chandra’s tears are too human to mean anything to you my Gods! Well, here’s a new dawn A fresh deluge of torture Forget, remember, forget, and with ferocity remember I had Joy and lost Joy and could have had him again! No, he left me, left his Gods, He wanted me, he repented his errant ways No, he left me, left his Gods. He wanted…Enough, Women go to the river here every day I can do it again. How quiet it grows all of a sudden! And how sharp the air is today How cold the water’s touch I tremble, Joydev, are you here? Bloated with peace at last? Why, Joydev, the river? you always hated water! সর্বশেষ এডিট : ২৬ শে সেপ্টেম্বর, ২০০৯ বিকাল ৫:০০