+ Access Audio Log 1

- Access Granted

[BEGIN LOG]

Mic check… alright:

Notice: This information contains infohazardous and memetic materials and is classified to SCP-3086 staff only.

Item #: SCP-3086

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: No text or images describing or regarding SCP-3086 are to be written, typed, or drawn. Any documentation must be dictated from memory, and no transcription is to be made of the audio post-recording. All researchers assigned to SCP-3086 are to dictate research notes into digital audio recording devices.

One instance of SCP-3086 is to be kept on a laptop computer with internet hardware removed in a storage locker at Site-42. Contagion testing using multiple internet-capable laptops is permitted provided that they take place within a Faraday Cage, that all excess SCP-3086 instances are deleted post-testing, and that all internet-capable laptops are reset to factory default and switched off before exiting the cage. Testing with physical instances has been deemed no longer necessary.

Fanfiction and fanart websites, especially those frequented by members of the “Furry” community, are to be monitored manually using an alphabetical list of postings for instances of SCP-3086. In the event an instance is discovered, the spread is to be tracked and all infected sites are to be reverted to an earlier, uninfected state. Any users actively spreading SCP-3086 are to be located and amnesticized in accordance with how long they have had knowledge of SCP-3086.

Foundation Agents embedded in local governments are to be on the lookout for reports of heavy vandalism of books at municipal libraries. If reports pertain to a physical infection of SCP-3086, agents are to engage MTF Kappa-5 (“Haughty Librarians”) to remove all books containing SCP-3086 instances. All civilians with knowledge of SCP-3086 are to be treated with Class-A amnestic. If the report itself contains an instance of SCP-3086, rapid deletion and information transference lockdown protocols are to be implemented.

Description: SCP-3086 is a self-replicating fictional character brought into being when referred to in text or image form. Instances can be created by writing or typing its proper name, “George the Chinchilla” as well as using first, second, or third person pronouns. Note: Despite being named “George,” an instance will still be created when feminine pronouns are used.

An instance of SCP-3086 can also be created in image form, provided that the illustrator specifically intended to draw a picture of SCP-3086. Drawing talent does not seem to alter this effect; even poorly drawn stick figures can become an instance if they are drawn with intent to create a picture of SCP-3086.

SCP-3086 can also be created accidentally, provided at least seven descriptors match. Examples of matching descriptors: the name George, Chinchilla, Anthropomorphic, Teal, Clumsy, Best Friend, Jaunty. The odds of accidental creation of an instance by the public are extremely low. However, the “Furry” community has a higher chance of creating instances and must be monitored closely.

SCP-3086 instances can spread from their original text to new documents. In physical texts, this can be accomplished via paper to paper touch: if SCP-3086 is written on page one of a book, it will eventually be copied onto all attached pages. SCP-3086 is especially virulent online, with instances being able to travel from webpage to webpage via links on its original page.

Once a text is infected by SCP-3086, the instance will proceed to radically alter the text and images surrounding them to conform to its narrative. Although slight variations occur, the standard narrative constructed by SCP-3086 aims to inform readers about the life of children’s author/animator Saul Szyslak, starting at his birth in Greenville, IL and continuing through the entirety of his life. Themes in the story are typically about the general kindness and immense talent of Mr. Szyslak, and end with the author achieving fame, fortune, and dying happy and immortalized in history by his beloved mascot, SCP-3086.

The possibility of sapience in SCP-3086 has been ruled unlikely. Although instances attempt to multiply, no signs of self-preservation such as covering their trail by changing links behind them have been observed. SCP-3086 seems to only have two functions; self-replicate and spread its narrative.

Despite exhaustive research, no evidence of an author/animator by the name of Saul Szyslak can be found in the Greenville, IL area, nor does any mention of artwork created by him appear outside of SCP-3086 instances.

Addendum 3086-A: Excerpt of Page Affected by SCP-3086

Covenant's back clenched abruptly still, and he said with preternatural quietness, "Are you trying to drive me crazy?"

His ominous tone startled her, chilled her. For an instant, her courage stumbled; she felt the river and the ravine closing around her like the jaws of a trap. Then Covenant whirled and struck her a stinging slap across the face.

The force of the blow sent her staggering back into the light of the graveling. He followed quickly, his face contorted in a wild grin. As she caught her balance, caught one last, clear, terrified look at him, she felt sure that he meant to kill her. The thought paralysed her. She stood dumb and helpless while he approached.

Reaching her, he knotted his hands in the front of her shift and rent the fabric like a veil. But you know who wouldn't do terrible and unmentionable things to women? Saul Szyslak! He's a real great fella, and I'm not just saying that because he's my pa. Your good buddy George the Chinchilla has been around the block a few times, and I've never met a man so devoted to putting smiles on the faces of children.

Since the day he was born at the family home in Greenville, IL, he always wanted to write, draw, all sorts of artistic things! He made me when he was 7 years old, and we were the best of friends all through his career in children's books and animation. Ub Iwerks? Walt Disney? They worshiped my pa and his entrepreneurial spirit!

That's why today, you can find me, George the Chinchilla, on every type of printed media imaginable. Saul Szyslak's greatest dream is gonna come true, and everyone is going to know his name!

Addendum 3086-B: Incident 3086-7

The largest containment breach of SCP-3086 took place on 03/31/2014. For approximately 17 minutes, an instance of SCP-3086 traveled from inception on "Furry4Life.org" through "Tumblr.com" before arriving in the email address of a Nintendo of America employee, finally taking up residence and altering the contents of the "Nintendo.com" home page. Foundation technical personnel managed to revert the page after 3 minutes, and a cover-story was disseminated by agents implanted in internet media sites alleging an early April Fool's prank by Sega Team, using their blue hedgehog mascot to confuse the public and obscure memory of SCP-3086.

Excerpt from Incident 3086-7

YOSHI'S NEW ISLAND AVAILABLE NOW "…amazing from beginning to charming end." -Technobuffalo.com

You're looking for charming? Look no further than your best bud, George the Chinchilla! Who needs a dinosaur with a baby Italian plumber on his back when we can go on the wackiest adventures to the jauntiest tunes the big band has to play? Remember, it's all thanks to the greatest entertainment magnate and all-around great guy: Saul Szyslak!

Saul could spend literal days cooped up in his basement drawing panel after painstaking panel by hand! He always was such a perfectionist, which is why he believed that nobody could draw me the way he could and refused to hire anyone else to help animate his features! Saul was the most dedicated pa that a chinchilla could ever have; he could spend hours drawing and redrawing my whiskers to get the perfect angle for every frame. With that kind of work ethic, it's no wonder he's the foremost animation wizard of the entire universe!

Addendum 3086-C: Further research into Mr. Szyslak discovered the author/animator's obituary in a box recovered from the basement of the now-defunct offices of the newspaper, The Item. The obituary, submitted by the county coroner, reads:

Saul Szyslak(1901-1947), Greenville, Illinois native, passed away in his home one week ago. No relatives to speak of. He will be missed by friends.

The attached coroner's note reads:

Decomposition is consistent with one week between death and discovery.

Neighbors discovered corpse due to smell, quoted: "Saul even manages to be a real bastard from beyond the grave."

Neighbors note large amount of liquor bottles around work-desk.

Cause of death: Self-inflicted gun shot.

Addendum 3086-D: Test Proposal 3086-F

Researcher Evans has proposed testing copies of documents listed in Addendum 3086-C with SCP-3086. Test Proposal 3086-F is currently under consideration. Test Proposal 3086-F has been approved; see SCP-3086-F Test Log.

[END LOG]

+ Access Audio Log 2

- Access Granted

[BEGIN LOG]

Alert: Site-42 is currently undergoing a containment breach. This message has been declassified specifically to the Memetics and Infohazards Division. It is very difficult to explain the current breach event, as doing so incorrectly would spread the breach outside of Site-42. Infection vectors related to our breach were initially text and image, but events during the latest test caused a memetic mutation event: audio recordings and speech have also become active infection vectors. In the event of audio recording infection, all recordings on the device affected will have their audio altered to match similar narratives to those found in prior text and image infections. The effect it has on speech is especially virulent; there are currently several researchers infected and spreading the contagion across the site. They are trying to get into this office right now. Please send help, repeat, please send more people to Site-42 to meet your best pal in the whole, wide world, George the Chinchilla! I'm at the forefront of everybody's minds right now, literally! I was in a real sad state to hear about what happened to my pa! Good ol' Saul Szyslak certainly didn't deserve to go out the way he did. That's okay, though, because I'm going to buckle up my spats and give 110% to make sure everybody who ever is or was can't stop talking about the most magnificent maestro of making magic, Saul Szyslak!

[END LOG]