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SCP-6414: Just Like Mother Used to Make

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Item#: 6414

Containment Class: euclid

Secondary Class: none

Disruption Class: vlam

Risk Class: warning

Assigned Site:

CONTAINMENT SITE-293

Site Director:

HENRY N. TYSON

Research Head:

JAZLYNE G. CHMIELEWSKA

Assigned Task Force:

N/A

Portion of SCP-6414-1

Special Containment Procedures:

SCP-6414 is to be contained in a Level 3-Modified Humanoid Containment Chamber at Site-293. In the interest of maintaining a positive psychological profile, a minimal number of Foundation staff are to be present during routine interactions. Personnel who have not been designated for this role are not to enter the containment chamber of SCP-6414, except in emergency situations.

SCP-6414 is permitted access to kitchenware and foodstuffs in its containment chamber, at the discretion of Research Head Dr. Chmielewska and/or the Containment Technicians on duty. All recovered portions of SCP-6414-1 are to be preserved and placed in refrigerated storage; portions of SCP-6414-1 which are deemed no longer viable (left refrigerated for more than 2-3 days) shall be disposed of appropriately.

SCP-6414

Description:

SCP-6414 is a female mustelid closely related to both the European polecat (Mustela putorius) and domesticated ferret (Mustela putorius furo). SCP-6414 has demonstrated sapience and the ability to speak, which it does with a pronounced Scouse1 English accent. SCP-6414 identifies itself with the name "Charlie" and has cooperated amicably with Foundation staff during the course of its containment.

Of particular note is SCP-6414's ability and penchant for cooking and serving food. Any food items which have been prepared by SCP-6414 are given the designation SCP-6414-1. Most commonly, instances of SCP-6414-1 have been broth-based recipes (such as soups or stews). SCP-6414 claims familiarity with baking techniques as well; permissions to resources to pursue such research are pending.

There is (presently unsubstantiated) speculation that SCP-6414-1 has therapeutic properties, particularly against ailments of the digestive system. Despite anecdotal evidence, deliberate testing to this end has provided variable results without enough consistency to form a conclusion. (See Incident Log 6414-A)

Interview Log 6414-1A

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Interview Subject: SCP-6414

Interviewer: Junior Researcher, Doctor Richard Clarkson

Foreword: The first of SCP-6414's daily interview sessions with Site-293 personnel.

<Begin Log>

Dr. Clarkson: This is Junior Researcher Doctor Richard Clarkson speaking, conducting an initial research interview with SCP-6414. I ask that you answer the following questions to the best of your ability.

SCP-6414: I do not intend on jarggin'2 your research, Mr. Clarkson.

Dr. Clarkson: Ok. What can you tell me about your origins or your earliest memories?

SCP-6414: I believe I was born just like any other ferret was, abar nine years ago in Northern Africa. Then I was taken from me home not long after and brought to a quaint, well in town called "Liverpool". Was a cheery little place 'til your men in black suits went and took me afar from me home. Oh dear, mother must be worried sick.

Dr. Clarkson: How long do you recall having these anomalous properties?

SCP-6414: If youse referrin' to me talkin', I ha' been speakin' for as long as I can remember. I believe I was born with it. English ain't my first language. I began speakin' in Arabic before I learned English. And then I caught the Scouse accent from growin' up in Liverpool. But if youse referrin' to the cookin', well, theres so much you can be learnin' from those around ya that raised ya. You wouldn't happen to be keepin' me mother away from me, are ya?

Dr. Clarkson: I can not disclose that information.

SCP-6414: Well I do be hopin' youse let me see her soon. She was deathly ill when your snide men took me away in that foul cat cage.

Dr. Clarkson: The well-being of the civilian who sheltered you is no concern to the Foundation.

SCP-6414 arches its spine in a defensive position before relaxing. 2 minutes pass before SCP-6414 speaks again.

SCP-6414: Ol' Evie used to watch cookin' programs on the telly all the time… I picked up on the lessons after a while. Oh, she was proper skint, but sound nonetheless. She'd only ever spend her pounds on a bevvie or two, but started buyin' some scran when I showed off an interest in cookin'. She cared for me like no other did! She was like me ma' to me…

There is a moment of silence.

SCP-6414: You still don't care, do ya? That daft, blank expression on your face tells me everythin'.

Dr. Clarkson: There will be no further questions at this time.

Dr. Clarkson stands and moves to the door, SCP-6414 becomes agitated.

SCP-6414: Oi! Where do ya think you're goin? Where's Eve? I must see her! Don't keep me away from her! She's not well without me!

Dr. Clarkson does not respond.

SCP-6414: Have you done somethin' to her? She's ill! She needs me!

SCP-6414 jumps from the table to the ground and runs towards the containment cell's door. SCP-6414 begins franticly scratching at the door.

SCP-6414: Let me out! I need to see her! She'll die without me! Evelyn!

Two Foundation security personnel enter the cell. SCP-6414 runs to the other side of the cell and backs into the corner, arching its back in a defensive position.

SCP-6414: Why won't ya let me see her! Let me see her! She'll die! Please!

SCP-6414 begins to cry, swiping at the Foundation personnel. After several minutes SCP-6414 stops attacking and relaxes.

SCP-6414: Please… let me see her…

Dr. Clarkson: We will release you if you answer our questions with full cooperation.

SCP-6414: Will you let me see her, then?

There is a moment of silence.

Dr. Clarkson: We will see. For now, this interview is over.

SCP-6414: Do ya promise to let me see her?

Dr. Clarkson: I said, "We will see."

<End Log>

Notes: I hope you know we don't ever intend on releasing anomalous entities, but please don't give it any sort of false hope. Who knows what it will do if you agitate it into using some potentially dangerous anomalous properties we haven't seen yet. You know damn well why she can't see her again. - Dr. Chmielewska

Interview Log 6414-1E

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Interviewed Subject: SCP-6414

Interviewer: Junior Researcher, Doctor Richard Clarkson

Foreword: Daily interview log between researcher and SCP-6414. Dr. Chmielewska closely monitors Dr. Clarkson throughout the interview.

<Begin Log>

Dr. Clarkson: Hello again.

SCP-6414 does not respond.

Dr. Clarkson: SCP-6414?

SCP-6414: Why are we still doin' this same damn thing. I've already answered yer damn questions. For Christ's sake let me see her!

Dr. Clarkson begins to speak before coughing into his arm for a few moments.

Dr. Clarkson: We cannot disclose specific details about civilians to anomalies.

Dr. Clarkson continues to cough into his arm.

Dr. Chmielewska: What he means is that we don't believe the information is important enough to tell you.

SCP-6414: Not important enough? The bloody hell does that mean? I know she isn't well! Any information ya have on her ya damn well know ain't good and I deserve to know!

Dr. Clarkson: We tested the samples of SCP-6414-1 you provided to us, the results came back.

SCP-6414: Why are youse so fascinated with that garb? Just somethin' quick I made to get youse off my back about it.

Dr. Clarkson: It cured Dr. Paul's stomach cancer.

SCP-6414: Eh?

Dr. Chmielewska: For a short while. The tumor reappeared after about 3 hours. Whatever anomalous healing properties your food has, it isn't permanent. We don't know why.

SCP-6414: That… explains somethin'…

Dr. Clarkson: You better-

Dr. Clarkson begins coughing into his shoulder again.

Dr. Chmielewska: If its something important relating to your food, then you should tell us.

SCP-6414: Well, Eve is ill, you ought to know that already. I would make her this veggie scran that seemed to make her feel better for a while. Abar a few days later, she'd continue her coughin' fit until I served her some more.

SCP-6414 scurries across the desk to face Dr. Clarkson.

SCP-6414: Somethin' like what he's been doin' this whole time.

Dr. Clarkson: I'm perfectly fine-

Dr. Clarkson begins coughing again.

SCP-6414: Sure ya are, maybe you should try my scrap, maybe you'd feel a bit better.

Dr. Clarkson starts coughing violently.

Dr. Chmielewska: Um, Dr. Clarkson?

Dr. Clarkson starts coughing up blood before collapsing out of his chair.

SCP-6414: oh my word-

Dr. Chmielewska: Get a medic in here!

<End Log>

Notes: Dr. Clarkson was transported to Site-293's medical ward and treated with several medicines that failed to work. Dr. Clarkson insists on using his own medical knowledge to identify the cause of his illness. Dr. Clarkson denies any further medical treatment from Foundation personnel.

Interview Log 6414-1F

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Interviewed: SCP-6414

Interviewer: Research Head, Dr. Chmielewska

Foreword: Daily interview log between researcher and SCP-6414.

<Begin Log>

SCP-6414 is currently stirring a pot with a wooden spoon in its mouth.

Dr. Chmielewska: SCP-6414?

SCP-6414 attempts to speak through the spoon before setting it down.

SCP-6414: Aye? Who are you- Ah, the bird with the daft scarf.

Dr. Chmielewska: Daft? Your fur coat ain't too fab either.

SCP-6414: Ya makin' fun of me accent there? I'll fuckin' clobber ya if ya are.

Dr. Chmielewska: I was ████ █████ too ya know.

SCP-6414: Aye… well, if its 'bout Clarkson, I swear I don't know what it is.

Dr. Chmielewska: He's in critical condition, but this isn't about him.

SCP-6414 climbs onto the table.

SCP-6414: Alright, what is it then?

Dr. Chmielewska: It's about your owner.

SCP-6414: Eve? Can I see her? Where is she?

Dr. Chmielewska doesn't respond.

SCP-6414: Eh? What's with the face?

Dr. Chmielewska: …We held Evelyn for questioning regarding how she discovered you. She was noticeably unhealthy.

SCP-6414: …No-

Dr. Chmielewska: She died of an unknown disease one week into your containment.

There is silence.

SCP-6414: …How long.

Dr. Chmielewska: Pardon?

SCP-6414: …How long ago did she pass.

Dr. Chmielewska: …A week before we began these interviews.

SCP-6414: He knew then?

Dr. Chmielewska: Who?

SCP-6414: He lied! How could he? He knew how much she meant to me! I told him everythin'!

SCP-6414 begins clawing the desk and lashing out at Dr. Chmielewska.

SCP-6414: He hid it from me! She was dead this whole damn time and he said I could still see her!

Dr. Chmielewska: We did what we could-!

SCP-6414: She didn't have me! She had no one but me! You took me away from her and now she's dead! You killed her!

SCP-6414 jumps at Dr. Chmielewska and aggressively lashes at her face. Two Foundation security personnel enter the chamber and separate SCP-6414 from Dr. Chmielewska.

SCP-6414: You killed her! She's dead because of you! Because of him!

Dr. Chmielewska: Clarkson didn't know! None of us did-!

SCP-6414: You bloody bastards! Damn you all to hell! Evelyn!

<End Log>

Note: SCP-6414 was sedated after interview termination. SCP-6414 has since been uncooperative with Foundation staff and has refused to provide portions of SCP-6414-1.

Incident log 6414-A

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Interviewed: Junior Researcher, Dr. Richard Clarkson

Interviewer: Research Head, Dr. Chmielewska

Foreword: Recorded incident report between Dr. Clarkson and Dr. Chmielewska within site-293's medical ward. Dr. Chmielewska has been granted permission to interact with Dr. Clarkson on the basis that the disease that is currently infecting him is not contagious.

<Begin Log>

Dr. Chmielewska: How do you feel?

Dr. Clarkson: Like something's eating me from the inside out- Like stomach acid is coming up my throat and spilling into my lungs. So much for that rodent's garbage stew.

Dr. Chmielewska: At least she's trying to help-

Dr. Clarkson: I don't need anyone's help! I can take care of myself! I can find out what this is and cure it myself!

Dr. Chmielewska: We've tried everything on you already and nothing has worked. Her "garbage stew" is the only thing that seems to be making any difference. You refusing to cooperate with her is gonna get yourself killed.

Dr. Clarkson: I don't need her slop! If you really think this shit can help me then why hasn't it?

Dr. Chmielewska: Because you are being an arse and hiding her mother's death from her!

Dr. Clarkson: What does that have to do wi- wait, you told her? Now she'll never cooperate with us! I got those test results for SCP-6414-1 because I kept that from her!

Dr. Chmielewska: She thinks you killed her!

Dr. Clarkson: Now how is this my fault? I am doing what needs to be done! I oversaw her retrieval myself!

Dr. Chmielewska: You're lucky I didn't tell her that. If I did then there would be more than just these cuts on my face.

Dr. Clarkson: She did that?

Dr. Chmielewska: What else could have, dumbass?

Dr. Clarkson: I didn't think-

Dr. Chmielewska: Didn't think what? That keeping all of this from her wouldn't cause some sort of mental distress? It's all your fault because you chose to borderline kidnap her in the first place! Now Dr. Tyson is gonna be all up my ass because I have to take responsibility for your mistake!

Dr. Clarkson: We must be strict-

Dr. Chmielewska: Cold, not cruel. That's how we do things. I have to remind you of Foundation procedure when this whole shitstorm is already breaking every rule in the book.

Dr. Clarkson does not respond.

Dr. Chmielewska: You put yourself in a bad position. Someone who didn't need to die died. Research has been hindered and when Tyson starts looking for answers I'll refer him to you.

Dr. Clarkson: …She died because of me?

Dr. Chmielewska: Yes, I think whatever sickness she had could only be cured or at least repressed by 6414-1. You separated them, all that stuff she kept going on about was right.

Dr. Clarkson: I thought she was being dramatic-

Dr. Chmielewska: Evelyn was already dead you idiot. Can't you see?

Dr. Clarkson: …it's all my fault.

Dr. Chmielewska: Yup, and I think you should start explaining all of this to her yourself. Whatever you have must be the same thing she had. Your chance of survival could depend entirely on your relationship with 6414.

Dr. Clarkson: …I've killed myself.

Dr. Chmielewska: Don't say that. You still have a chance. Go talk with her.

Dr. Clarkson: I guess I don't have a choice at this point.

Dr. Chmielewska: Who does. You need her to care for you now.

Dr. Clarkson: …I hope this will work.

Dr. Chmielewska: I know it will work.

<End Log>

Closing Statement: Dr. Clarkson was assigned to a private interview session with SCP-6414, the interview has not been recorded by Dr. Chmielewska's request. Dr. Clarkson has since made a full recovery, but is required to consume samples of SCP-6414-1. Connections between the virus and SCP-6414 have been confirmed and designated SCP-6414-2.

Addendum 6414-2:

SCP-6414-2 is a noncommunicable disease only contracted by long-term exposure to SCP-6414. Symptoms include coughing up blood, vomiting, and sensitive increased sense of hearing. Person's infected with SCP-6414-2 will succumb within a week if left untreated with SCP-6414-1.

Interview Log 6414-2B

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Interviewed: SCP-6414

Interviewer: Junior Researcher, Doctor Richard Clarkson

Foreword: Weekly interview log between researcher and SCP-6414.

<Begin Log>

Dr. Clarkson: Charlie?

SCP-6414: Dick! Where have ya been? Did that dairy really do a number on youse?

Dr. Clarkson: I'm fine now. No more butter in those dishes, though.

SCP-6414: Right.

Dr. Clarkson: Oh! I have something here for you.

SCP-6414: Aye?

Dr. Clarkson pulls a small flower from his lab coat pocket and gives it to SCP-6414.

Dr. Clarkson: Cosmos bipinnatus 'Rubenza'. Thought you might like something to make you stand out from any normal little furry snake.

SCP-6414 nests the flower's stem above its left ear.

SCP-6414: How do I look?

Dr. Clarkson: Like a ferret with a flower in its ear.

SCP-6414: I don't know what I expected-

Dr. Clarkson: Haha. Anyway, the other researchers and I have been discussing some … uses for you.

SCP-6414: I hope ya don't mean youse gonna use me as a tool or anythin'.

Dr. Clarkson: Think of how our research could benefit the Foundation!

SCP-6414: I'm thinkin', I don't see any benefits.

Dr. Clarkson: Our research could help us… discover what gave you these… gifts.

SCP-6414: …I'm listening.

Dr. Clarkson: With your help we could discover why you can speak and cook such amazing foods, and maybe find out how other animals could do the same! You could help us track down the source of whatever gave you these anomalous properties.

SCP-6414: Ya sure about that? Ya soundin' like ya had a bit to much a that discount whiskey Chmielewska brings abar sometimes. I don't even remember anythin' before dear Evie took me in…

Dr. Clarkson: I'm fine, alright? So, this is what we are gonna do-

SCP-6414: Aye, let's talk about this some other time, I got somethin' new for ya to try!

SCP-6414 pushes a bowl with its front paws towards Dr. Clarkson. Dr. Clarkson samples the bowl containing an instance of SCP-6414-1.

Dr. Clarkson: Pretty good… surprisingly good, actually.

SCP-6414: Is right! One of ma's own recipes.

Dr. Clarkson: She knew her stuff, I bet.

SCP-6414 takes a sip from it's own bowl containing a sample of SCP-6414-1.

SCP-6414: Ah, just like mother used to make.

<End Log>