Item #: SCP-4033

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-4033 is currently held at Site-██ in a padlocked glass container. When handling the object, 0.5 centimetre rubber gloves are to be worn at all times. No direct contact with SCP-4033 is permitted unless conducting a test. No more tests including SCP-4033 are to be conducted under order from the Site Director.

Description: SCP-4033 is a Cadbury's Crème Egg that cannot be cracked, melted, eaten or damaged in any other way. If a subject touches SCP-4033 through skin contact, the subject will hear a voice. No others have reported hearing the voice, hereby referred to as SCP-4033-1.

SCP-4033-1 has been reported to have a noticeable lisp and resembles a child's TV show mascot. When activated, SCP-4033-1 will say: 'Hooray! You want to join in my Easter Egg hunt! I see you've found the first one already, so hurry on! Time is of the essence!'

A painted egg will then appear somewhere in a ten-metre radius of the subject, often found in simple hiding places, such as on a shelf, or behind another object. If a subject collects this egg, another egg (hereby referred to as instances of SCP-4033-2) will appear under the same conditions of the first. If a subject other than the one that initiated the "hunt" touches an instance of SCP-4033-2 or SCP-4033 itself, it will burn their fingers, causing them to instinctively drop it. SCP-4033-1 will then say: 'No! You're not part of this hunt! Put that down!'

There are twelve instances of SCP-4033-2 in one "hunt", and subjects are allocated ten minutes to collect all of these instances in order to "win". When the "hunt" is over, all collected instances of SCP-4033-2 will spontaneously disappear.

If the subject "wins" , SCP-4033-1 will say: 'Yay! Yay! Yay! You found them all! That means you get the GRAND PRIZE!' The "winning" subject will then fall unconscious. Medical examination of these subjects reveals that their stomachs are anomalously filled with a substance very similar to Cadbury's chocolate. While all winners have become severely ill and reported extreme pain, none have died.

If the subject "loses", SCP-4033-1 will say: 'Oh no… You didn't get all the eggs. Oh well, don't worry! You get the runner-up prize!' The subject will then undergo severe brain trauma and physical distress, while still remaining conscious. They will retain basic motor functions and the ability to vocalise, but will die approximately 2 minutes later. Autopsies have revealed these subjects to have a [DATA EXPUNGED] in their brains.

Only one full interview has been successfully carried out with SCP-4033-1; following Incident-4033-A, no more interviews are to be conducted.

Discovery: Local Agents situated in ██████, █████ were alerted to 3 mortalities in ██████ Hospital, all dead were found to have [EXPUNGED] in their brains. SCP-4033 was found in the house of a local artist, who was found in extreme distress. They were later found to have a substance resembling chocolate in their stomach. Agent ███ touched SCP-4033 and successfully completed the "hunt". Foundation backup arrived on scene and retrieved the Agents and SCP-4033.

Addendum 4033-A:

Interviewed: SCP-4033-1

Interviewer: D-89667

Notes: D-89667 was ordered to memorise a list of three questions to ask SCP-4033-1.

<Begin log>

D-89667 picks up SCP-4033 with his bare hands.

SCP-4033-1: Hooray! You want to join in my Easter Egg hunt! I see you've found the first one already, so hurry on! Time is of the essence!

D-89667: All right. What's your name?

SCP-4033-1: Wh-what? That's not important now, you've gotta find the eggs!

D-89667: No, I need to know. Seriously, what's your name?

SCP-4033-1: My name? Well, you already know! I'm the Easter Bunny!

D-89667: No, your real name. Like, Bob or something.

SCP-4033-1: Easter bunny. That… is… my real… name. Right? Yeah… Yeah…

D-89667: Okay, I'll come back to that. What was the second question… Where are you?

SCP-4033-1: Where am I? Why, I'm right behind… you.

SCP-4033-1's voice becomes noticeably gruffer, its lisp is gone.

SCP-4033-1: Hey, where the hell am I?

D-89667: Yeah, that's what I want to know!

SCP-4033-1: It-it was you. You did this to me. I know it.

D-89667: Hey, no, I didn't do it!

D-89667 starts to visibly panic.

SCP-4033-1: I know you did…

D-89667: No! No! I know what happens to fucking D-class like me! Don't kill me!

SCP-4033-1: You… did it.

D-89667: No! I didn't! Don't do it! Please!

SCP-4033-1: Get the eggs. That's what you do. You bastard…

D-89667: Okay! Yes! Jesus.

SCP-4033-1: Why… I'm Easter… Hop, hop, hop.

D-89667 collects all instances of SCP-4033-2 and subsequently falls unconscious.

<End log>

Closing Statement: D-89667 was later reprimanded for failure to carry out his orders.

Incident 4033-A:

Interviewed: SCP-4033-1

Interviewer: D-89668

Notes: Shortly after the initial interview, an attempt to further establish the origins of SCP-4033-1 and its physical state was made. D-89668 was ordered to memorise a list of three questions to ask it.

<Begin log>

D-89668 picks up SCP-4033 with his bare hands.

SCP-4033-1: No…

D-89668: What is your name?

SCP-4033-1: No… I have no name.

D-89668: Just tell me your name. I know you have one. Please make this easy for me.

SCP-4033-1: You took it from me… and put me here.

D-89668: Well, no I didn't, but on that note, where are you?

SCP-4033-1 does not respond for 2 minutes.

SCP-4033-1: Put me here and left me.

D-89668: Wait, what did you say? "Put me and left"?

SCP-4033-1 does not respond for 2 minutes.

D-89668: Are you still there?

SCP-4033-1 does not respond for a further minute.

D-89668: Hello? SCP-4033-1?

SCP-4033-1 does not respond for 2 minutes.

SCP-4033-1: You want to know? The truth is, I don't know… I'm the Easter Bunny… I got nowhere to hop to.

D-89668: You don't-

The allocated ten minutes to complete the "hunt" expires, and D-89668 falls to the floor in extreme distress. Agents watching over the test drag him away.

<End log>

Closing Statement: D-89668 died two minutes after. An autopsy on him revealed that he had a [EXPUNGED] in his brain.