Coming Soon - Popsioak

Item#: 5660

Containment Class: euclid

Secondary Class: none

Disruption Class: ekhi

Risk Class: warning

SCP-5660's THEOCONDUIT can be seen in the middle of the image, in an inactive state.

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5660 is to be contained via use of a THEOCONDUIT1 system and a major disinformation campaign encouraging confession of perceived "sins" to PoI-5660. During an SCP-5660-ALIGHIERI event, actions against the word of the Bible are to be committed by 10 Foundation agents, in a 10 meter radius around SCP-5660's THEOCONDUIT.

SCP-5660's THEOCONDUIT is to be checked weekly by PoI-5660, in order to restrain SCP-5660-1 in this physical plane of existence.

PoI-5660, prior to being a host to SCP-5660-1.

Description: SCP-5660 refers to a bottomless sinkhole located 250 meters under Vatican City. SCP-5660 serves as a connection between baseline theological reality and presumably the Christian ideal of Hell, as detailed by Foundation precursor agencies. Most documents of the linked reality are described akin to Dante Alighieri's Inferno - having nine "circles" and a frozen core. An unknown amount of demonic entities are present within SCP-5660. It is known, however, that these demonic entities are currently attempting to enter baseline reality via ascending SCP-5660. Successful attempts are known as ALIGHIERI events, having occurred 171 times previously in recorded history. The motives of these entities are currently unknown.

Demonic entities present within SCP-5660 are repelled when one of the 7 ideals of Christian sins are confessed to or performed near SCP-5660 with intent to repent. Prior containment efforts by Foundation predecessor organizations primarily focused on confessing directly into SCP-5660 itself, or performing repentant sinful activity directly next to an uncovered SCP-5660. However, current containment efforts are focused on confessing directly to PoI-5660: Pope Francis I, who was implanted with SCP-5660-1, a miniature cavity within PoI-5660's left tibia. Confessing or performing sinful acts to repent in front of PoI-5660 has the same repulsionary effect. To minimize demonic activity, PoI-5660 was approached by Foundation agents within Vatican City.

Interview Log

Interviewer: Researcher Isaac Oakton

Interviewee: PoI-5660

Foreword: Immediately prior to this interview, PoI-5660 was made aware of the presence of SCP-5660 and SCP-5660-1. The purpose of this interview was to attempt to garner Vatican support in repelling SCP-5660.

<BEGIN LOG>

[PoI-5660 is saying prayers with his rosary.]

PoI-5660: Mercy of God, encompass us, and deliver us from-

Oakton: Excuse me, Your Holiness? If we may, could we get the interview going?

PoI-5660: Yes, yes. My apologies.

Oakton: There are demons attempting to enter our reality. One of these demons has somehow made a hole in… you, Your Holiness.

PoI-5660: And you need people and the clergy to sin or confess in front of me? To close this hole?

Oakton: Well, no. The hole's a sorta portal for the actual… sin juice to flow to these demons. Sadly, it's too risky to attempt a bone graft or something similar to actually close this wholly.

[PoI-5660 furrows his brow.]

PoI-5660: I suppose if it is good for humanity, then this is what the Lord hath decreed for me, as my divine purpose. What is your plan?

Oakton: Currently, we don't know how many Tartarean class entities are attempting to climb up. However, it- we do know that performing sinful acts near or into the hole-

PoI-5660: Which has been covered up.

Oakton: Which has been covered up, or confessing them, to a lesser extent, repels them. However, your portal in your bone? It can do the same, and it siphons that energy that your holy disdain for these acts produces, and counteracts their climb, if that makes any sense.

PoI-5660: Some. Where are we planning to perform these actions? How many times per day?

Oakton: Wherever you may open up, Your Holiness. The whole of the Vatican, perhaps? Even if not, if you could restrict one confession chamber to just this, that would be phenomenal. On the time portion… once per day per sin.

[PoI-5660 deliberates for 12 seconds, before looking mildly uncomfortable.]

PoI-5660: Pride, wrath, greed, gluttony- all these should be easy to confess, no? As for lust-

Oakton: Sadly, Your Holiness, yes. To repel Arbor class entities, yes.

PoI-5660: Ave Maria. [PoI-5660 sighs.] I never believed my blessing by Him would force me to this. But, it is a weight that hangs heavy upon me. How long until the hole closes up?

Oakton: The one in your bone, or the one in the ground?

PoI-5660: My bone. And remind me of the classes of these demons? What risk they pose? It's all a lot for me. A lot of terrifying knowledge.

Oakton: Apologies for that disquieting news, but you'll stay holey for awhile, Your Holiness.

[PoI-5660 remains silent for 10 seconds.]

PoI-5660: Did the sinning start yet, or-

<END LOG>

Incident Log - Avoided ALIGHIERI Event

On August 13th, 2021, 13 tremors were felt below the Vatican. Temperatures within a 20 km radius spontaneously increased by an average of 3 degrees Celsius for approximately two hours. Foundation attempts at recontainment proved unsuccessful. In haste, the first test run of attempting a shutdown of the impending ALIGHIERI event via utilization of PoI-5660 was approved.

32 sins were committed in front of PoI-5660, including aggravated and painless assault, boasting, gossiping, idolatry, and incessant swearing. All actions proved effective in repelling SCP-5660, according to THEOCONDUIT readings. PoI-5660 expressed discomfort in having these actions performed in front of him, though affirmed he would be open to future containment efforts. Approximately 30 minutes after successful repulsion, SCP-5660-1 produced a series of vocalizations for the first time. PoI-5660 reported no physical discomfort. Foundation spectrogram analysis is currently pending.

Interview Log Post-ALIGHIERI Event

Interviewer: Researcher Isaac Oakton

Interviewee: PoI-5660

Foreword: PoI-5660 requested an interview immediately following the previous ALIGHIERI event. The request was granted, and an interview time was set up. The nature of this interview is kept casual as Researcher Oakton and PoI-5660 walk around the grounds of the Vatican in order to reduce stress on PoI-5660.

<BEGIN LOG>

[PoI-5660 is shaking his head, as the two walk away from the THEOCONDUIT.]

PoI-5660: This isn't a joke, is it? What they can do?

Oakton: Of all the possible topics you'd think I'd joke about with you, Your Holiness, forcing the Pope to watch people fuck to repel world-ending demons is nowhere on that list.

PoI-5660: Oh Lord. Granted, I worked as a bouncer for a few years, and I have seen my fair share of dirty actions, but still.

[Researcher Oakton winces, looking up at the sky, then at the ground.]

Oakton: My sincerest apologies for the vulgarity, Your Holiness. But you can see what they're capable of, no?

PoI-5660: Well yes, but the end of times- This is not how it was supposed to go.

Oakton: At times, Your Holiness, there's a few things we have to do. How's the saying go: "God helps those who help themselves?"

PoI-5660: Yes, I've heard of it. I suppose it's apt in this situation.

Oakton: That it is.

PoI-5660: If I must be honest, Oakton? I am scared. I have feared God for most of my life. However, this is nothing like that. Raw, primal fear. I have scoured the Vatican's archives. I have found where they have appeared in ages past.

[Oakton tentatively places a hand on PoI-5660's shoulder, then removes it, as they stroll through the garden.]

Oakton: It's concerning, yes. But it's nothing we cannot handle. I've never been much of a religious man. Not to say I don't believe in god, but… it's a tad confusing, to put it lightly. The whole of it is.

[PoI-5660 stifles a laugh, as he smiles at a nearby tree.]

Oakton: Yes, that wasn't intentional that time, but I can't help but think. We can prevail. We have in the past. Even if you do not look at such actions as the parting of the Red Sea, or Noah and his ark, we as a race are equally, if not more powerful.

PoI-5660: That is motivating. Bless you, Oakton.

Oakton: I must confess, Your Holiness. I too am scared. But this thing feeds off of what we give it. So I plan to show it none, Your Holiness. I hope you do not, either. We can't live in fear. We must live with joy, and hope we can choke out whatever sins this thing requires.

PoI-5660: Wise words. Perhaps you should be a motivational speaker.

[Researcher Oakton chuckles.]

Oakton: Your Holiness, I've not got many experiences I can use to motivate people. It'd probably just depress the shit out of them.

PoI-5660: I thought we stopped the incessant cursing, no? Unless there's trembles I can't notice-

[PoI-5660 feigns fear, as Researcher Oakton shakes his head.]

Oakton: You're a pleasant man, Your Holiness. A little extra push always helps to cleanse me of my sins. At the end of it? I truly believe we've got this, Your Holiness.

PoI-5660: I hope so, Oakton. I hope so. May God bless us with his unending mercy.

<END LOG>

Email Correspondence

To: Vatican Anomaly Command2

From: Researcher Oakton

Subject: Re:5660

Your Holiness,

Efforts made by the Church to assist in containment have proven most effective - the confession chamber that has been set up in your vicinity has singlehandedly reduced ALIGHIERI events by tenfold. Further recommendations include increased importance to be placed on being absolved of one's sins during daily prayer.

Godspeed,

Researcher Oakton

To: Researcher Oakton

From: Vatican Anomaly Command

Subject: Re:5660

Dear Oakton,

The Church is pleased to hear of such good tidings. You were right to say we ought not to fear. We have a few ideas in mind - Your Holiness wishes to know how many newspapers worldwide that you can get a hold of?

Godspeed,

The Vatican

To: Vatican Anomaly Command

From: Researcher Oakton

Subject: Re:5660

Your Holiness,

I am pleased to say the print ads placed in local newspapers have increased the amount of people that repent their sins and confess. At this point, ALIGHIERI events have reduced in incidence so sharply, that the Foundation is considering an official congratulations to be placed on the Vatican itself.

Sincerely,

Researcher Oakton

To: Researcher Oakton

From: Vatican Anomaly Command

Subject: Re:5660

Dear Oakton,

The Church requests no such congratulations - the wellbeing of the clergy is enough. After the relatively negative representation The Church has received, I'm very happy to hear that we're turning to a positive effort. Instead, I'd like to request further attempts at containment. What was it you said?

It's impossible to stop the sin from entering the person as long as the devil exists - instead, we must confront our sins. Something like that. I remember you saying "choke" once or twice. No matter.

Godspeed,

Your Holiness, Pope Francis I

Interview Log

Interviewer: Researcher Oakton

Interviewee: PoI-5660

Foreword: PoI-5660 requested the following interview to finalize plans to further decrease the incidence of ALIGHIERI events.

PoI-5660: If I'm going to be honest with you here, Oakton, we must defeat this decisively. Deliver a finishing, holy blow, as it were.

Oakton: I am pleased to hear that.

PoI-5660: I have spent some time concerning this, and debating about what needs to be done.

Oakton: Do tell.

[PoI-5660 looks determined as he nods towards Researcher Oakton.]

PoI-5660: We choke these devils out. Rid them of most, if not all food in the surrounding area.

[Researcher Oakton nods slowly, gesturing for PoI-5660 to continue.]

PoI-5660: We know they are weakened when sins are confessed. However, our internal studies have shown the younger generations are not as… attuned to doing so.

Oakton: So-

[PoI-5660 taps his forehead as he smiles knowingly.]

PoI-5660: So I have taken it upon myself to create a plan without the VAC's knowledge. One I feel will work exceptionally well.

[PoI-5660 places a paper onto the table, pointing at a specific portion of it.]

PoI-5660: Start here.

[Researcher Oakton takes a moment to look through the plan. He then circles one portion of it, and writes a few sentences in the margin.]

Oakton: I'd suggest adding some cooperation. A sudden uptick of one of the major religions trying to spread its… wares of confession everywhere would likely be unwise.

PoI-5660: And more is always better.

Oakton: This is far-reaching, Your Holiness, be warned.

PoI-5660: I am aware. But it is nothing we cannot handle, as absurd as it sounds. Thankfully, we spend time away from endless cursing at me to something a tad more… friendly, as it were.

[PoI-5660 taps the paper, looking to Researcher Oakton periodically.]

PoI-5660: It is true we must tap a number of industries for our use. Preposterous, to any sane person. What we are dealing with however, is not sane. But this is for the greater good.

[PoI-5660 removes a phone from his pocket, tapping a few numbers, before putting it away. Researcher Oakton nods, impressed.]

Oakton: I am blown away, Your Holiness. Very thorough.

PoI-5660: I tried to follow in the footsteps of those who came before me.

Oakton: I see resolve shining in your eyes like a diamond, Your Holiness. I did not expect this from you.

[PoI-5660 chuckles softly.]

PoI-5660: I used to be a janitor. You would be tricking yourself if you thought I did not know how to take out the trash.

<END LOG>

PROPOSAL TO INCREASE CHURCH PRESENCE WITHIN THE ONLINE-SPHERE: OPERATION RADDAGHER

We, the Church, recognize that the day upon which the Devils stop their attempts is soon upon us. The proverbial final nail in the coffin is soon upon us. To ensure their death, we propose the following -

Increased YouTube videos that encourage members of the church to absolve their sins

Increased public appearances by Pope Francis I, His Holiness, to ensure that more sins directly enter The Cavity

Further print ads designed to spark fear in the populace

Coordinated efforts with other religions to attempt to confess sins and draw a clear boundary between confession and conversion

Funding the video game industry to involve games that concern absolution of sins [COMPLETE: SEE DANTE'S INFERNO]

Examine the Large Cavity to ascertain the origin of these Beasts

We firmly believe that following these actions will ensure a total annihilation of the Devil himself, and cement safety of the clergy as a whole.

Godspeed, the Church.

Approved by the SCP Foundation.

Approved by His Holiness.

Interview Log

Interviewer: Researcher Isaac Oakton

Interviewee: PoI-5660

Foreword: PoI-5660 requested a casual interview with Researcher Oakton. Given the overall efficacy of containment procedures by Vatican Anomaly Command, this request was approved as a congratulations.

<BEGIN LOG>

Oakton: Hello, Your Holiness. What is the reason for this interview, may I ask?

[The two are strolling through the gardens again. PoI-5660 stands near a nearby column. He spends five seconds examining it from top to bottom, then turns to Researcher Oakton.]

PoI-5660: No reason. I simply wanted to talk. Enjoy company, as it were.

Oakton: I see. What's on your mind, Your Holiness?

PoI-5660: Might I request for you to drop the honorific? Just for now.

Oakton: Of course.

PoI-5660: Thank you.

[Researcher Oakton shakes his head, extending his arms in front of him dismissively. PoI-5660 takes his arms, and shakes them, looking Researcher Oakton in the eye.]

PoI-5660: Oakton, I must say the last few weeks we've spent together have been an honor for me to have.

Oakton: No, no, I should say the same to you - granted, we didn't meet in the best of occasions, but nevertheless, it was enjoyable.

PoI-5660: Oakton, sit with me.

[PoI-5660 gestures to a nearby bench. He sits down, patting the space next to him. Oakton sits. As PoI-5660 speaks, he smirks.]

PoI-5660: This has been a beautiful change of pace - the stopping of constant meetings, public appearances, and the like. Despite being chosen by His grace, it is tiring. I wonder how Jesus did it all.

Oakton: Who knows?

PoI-5660: If I must be honest, I was always quite fearful of the whole situation. Fearful, but determined. That's the key. Even if we did a lot, and I reiterate, a lot of amazing stuff, we approached it and persevered.

Oakton: True. That is true.

PoI-5660: It's all turned out for the better, however. We have truly helped the clergy, the downtrodden, the whole of the planet itself. Eh?

Oakton: Oh hell, you've got to be kidding me.

[PoI-5660 lets out an uncharacteristically loud laugh, wiping tears from his eyes. Researcher Oakton looks at PoI-5660, a soft look in his eyes.]

PoI-5660: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I had to. God's-

Oakton: Will, and all that. Yes. Jesus willed it as so, saw it this far in history. As if God made you Pope to ensure that you could tell dad jokes for the rest of eternity. Perhaps that's why you used to go by "Father."

PoI-5660: That's one better, good Isaac. You said my resolve was shining like a diamond. Is it still there?

Oakton: That it is, good Francis.

PoI-5660: That it is.

[PoI-5660 and Researcher Oakton stare at each other with a smile for approximately 20 seconds. They embrace, and sit silently looking at the THEOCONDUIT.]

Oakton: We did good work.

PoI-5660: But there's more to do, Isaac.

<END LOG>

Incident Log

One day after the previous interview log, tectonic and temperature anomalies lower in strength compared to the previous ALIGHIERI event appeared for approximately 30 minutes, reducing temperature in a radius of 1 km to 12 degrees Celsius. 11 sins were confessed to PoI-5660, all of which proved effective in repelling demonic entities. No vocalizations were emitted by SCP-5660. Instead, loud scratching noises and screams could be heard, for two minutes. Due to a lack of all qualifying factors for an ALIGHIERI event, this event has been recorded as a "related event."

It is theorized that the lack of initial power compared to other ALIGHIERI events is due to efforts made by the Vatican Anomaly Command. Official congratulations are currently pending approval by the O5 Council.

Email Correspondence

To: Vatican Anomaly Command

From: Researcher Oakton

Subject: Re:5660

Your Holiness,

Your proposal, in practice, certainly is very effective. The Foundation will attempt to support it in any way possible. The following seems true - this may be the last bit of communication we need to have with each other for the foreseeable future. If it is, it truly has been a blessing to work with you, Your Holiness. I enjoyed our time together.

Sincerely,

Researcher Oakton

To: Researcher Oakton

From: Vatican Anomaly Command

Subject: Re:5660

Dear Oakton,

Though our time together is up, you can always come reach me, my friend. It has been God's blessing for me to work with you too. I enjoyed every passing second of it.

Sincerely,

Your Holiness, Your Friend, Pope Francis I

Following no attempted ALIGHIERI events for approximately 4 months, Foundation personnel temporarily relocated the THEOCONDUIT to attempt to examine SCP-5660 at a deeper level. Tethered cameras were sent down SCP-5660, with no notable sights for four days. At a depth of approximately 44 km, Foundation cameras recorded the following image, along with a vocalization from SCP-56603. The pictured skeletal structure, nearly 20 meters in length, was embedded into SCP-5660's wall. No removal attempts were successful. The skeleton did not resemble any animals present in baseline reality — however, bone marrow analysis suggests the cause of death as experiencing starvation as a typical animal might. Tectonic and temperature anomalies have not subsided, though unmeltable ice is now present in deeper levels of SCP-5660. No further activity has been noted from demonic entities present within SCP-5660.

Footnotes

1. Technology designed to siphon Akiva radiation and Tartarean Resonance Energy from surrounding godlike or demonic entities.

2. A group created within the Vatican, consisting of bishops and headed by PoI-5660 to assist in containment of SCP-5660 and other Catholic anomalies.

3. Spectrogram analysis revealed the repeating imagery of a cobra.