As long as these pun based articles keep doing well I'm gonna keep writing them. So this is really your fault.

Alright had a funny thought last night when I went to bed and took an hour or so this morning to come up with this. Special thanks to R4_EX, Jak, Jack Waltz, Mars, GreeboGangLeader, and Carbon for looking at this for me.

Image is from here: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:1426Cuisine_foods_of_Bulacan_51.jpg

by Doctor Cimmerian

SCP-6313 as photographed by Dr. Foster.

Item #: SCP-6313

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: All Site-88 employees are to be briefed on SCP-6313's anomalous properties. Knowledge of SCP-6313's current location is to be limited to whichever individual currently possesses it.

Site-88 staff are directed to deny requests for information relating to SCP-6313's current owner or location. Under no circumstances is this information to be speculated on.

Once every six months, a site-wide announcement will be made to assist in the determination of SCP-6313's current status. If it is determined with any level of certainty that SCP-6313 is no longer in the possession of the SCP Foundation, this documentation is to be updated, and the SCP-6313 project head is to be alerted.

Description: SCP-6313 is a collection of dried thyme leaves. SCP-6313's current location and velocity cannot be simultaneously known by more than one individual (known as SCP-6313-1 in this document). Due to difficulties in acquiring SCP-6313 for research, the exact mechanism by which this anomaly affects both SCP-6313 and SCP-6313-1 is not fully understood. It is theorized, however, that SCP-6313 possesses macroscopic qualities similar to those possessed by quantum particles.

Once two or more individuals learn either the location or velocity of SCP-6313, the object will no longer be found at its last known location. Video records of displacement events have shown it to disapparate from previously known locations instantaneously. SCP-6313 is generally found afterwards by another individual. Records of previous translocation events indicate that SCP-6313 will not appear more than a certain distance1 from the individual possessing knowledge of its location.

The following log displays previously known holders of SCP-6313, and the events which triggered the relocation of the object. There is a 13 month gap in knowledge between Mrs. Dobson's loss of the object and Dr. Foster acquiring the object.

Previous Owner
Occupation
Log of Events

Mark Reinhart
Civilian chef in Bay Minnette
Attempted to introduce SCP-6313 to a dish he was preparing. Once it was removed from its packaging it disapparated in the presence of the kitchen staff.

Phyllis Dobson
Mid-level Executive, Southern Crosscut Pines2
Discovered SCP-6313 in her purse once she arrived home. It disapparated once she attempted to alert her husband to its presence. Both reported the incident to the SCP Foundation.

Dr. Phillip Foster
SCP Foundation, Senior Researcher
Found SCP-6313 in his glove box when arriving for work at Site-88. Since understanding of SCP-6313 was low at the time, he attempted to bring the object to the Site's research head, but it disapparated upon presentation.

Kay June
SCP Foundation, Janitorial Staff
As Ms. June was unaware of SCP-6313's anomalous properties, it was used to decorate and alter the fragrance of a janitorial closet. It was in this location for approximately 34 months. Ms. June was then transferred to Site-43. SCP-6313 was discovered by her replacement, causing the object to disapparate.

Dr. Lillian Una
SCP Foundation, SCP-2343 containment supervisor
Dr. Una was one of the few SCP Staff members to be fully briefed on the potential relocation of SCP-6313. She possessed SCP-6313 for approximately 17 days before the object was intentionally disapparated under the current containment procedures.

In August of 2021, a site-wide announcement was made in order to determine the containment status of SCP-6313. At this time, no Foundation staff have come forward with information relating to SCP-6313. It is believed that containment still holds, but is poorly suited to evaluation of its own success or failure.

The following announcement should be repeated once weekly until SCP-6313's status is determined.

This is an announcement relating to SCP-6313. Anyone who has the thyme should immediately proceed to observation room C for debriefing.

A redesign of SCP-6313's containment procedures is currently underway.

Footnotes

1. Due to potential variability relating to exact knowledge of this distance, that information has been removed from this document.

2. A Foundation front company.