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⚠️ Content warning: This work of fiction involves scenes which depict or allude to topics which may be particularly distressing for some readers.

(Please scroll for content warning list.)

Alcoholism

Animal cruelty

Child abuse (verbal/emotional/neglect)

Depression

Kidnapping

Readers with particular sensitivities should also be aware that this story also depicts or alludes to the following subjects which are less prevalent among content advisories, but nevertheless have the potential to be disturbing:

Clowns

Rats

Being swallowed whole (non-lethal)

Mental violation (mind trespassing/memory alteration)

Betrayal by chosen family

Shaming someone for being talkative

⚠️ content warning

Item #: SCP-2094

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2094 is contained in a medium-security residential chamber in Bio-Site 59. Standard PG-Class pre-approved luxuries and amenities may be granted on a supervised basis as an incentive to promote cooperation in interviews and experiments.

Psychotropic maintenance of SCP-2094's emotional health is presently overseen by Dr. Anniston (ES#59-390-258). Any requests to access or alter SCP-2094's current drug regimen must be submitted to her in triplicate for review.

Description: SCP-2094 is a human male of European descent, 38 years old as of 04/10/14. Several tattoos depicting common circus motifs are present on SCP-2094's upper body. SCP-2094 communicates in American English, specifically the New York City English dialect. SCP-2094 possesses exceptional (non-anomalous) manual dexterity, with particular proficiency in juggling.

SCP-2094 is the subject of a spacial anomaly originating within its oral cavity. SCP-2094's lower jaw and facial muscles can be pulled and stretched up to 2 meters in any direction without causing any considerable pain or injury. Additionally, SCP-2094 is capable of redirecting any physical matter that enters its mouth into an extradimensional organ made of anomalously elastic intestinal tissue.

There appears to be no limit to the amount of matter that SCP-2094 can store inside this space. The weight of objects carried inside the pocket has no affect on SCP-2094's overall weight, and neither causes SCP-2094 discomfort nor impairs its mobility. SCP-2094 refers to this space as its "second stomach"; however, research indicates that it serves no actual biological purpose.

SCP-2094 was recovered in an open field near Kamifurano, Japan, along with an assortment of non-anomalous artifacts related to GoI-233 (Herman Fuller's Circus of the Disquieting). SCP-2094 was discovered bound in chains and locked inside a large antique trunk bearing the words "FOR ESSIE" written on the top panel in red paint.

Recovered belongings:

The following items were removed from SCP-2094's intestinal space during preliminary containment.

Wooden juggling clubs of various colors

Metal lighter and several packages of cigars

120 button bass accordion

Suitcase containing two sets of clean clothes, a toothbrush, and a shaving kit

Fully functional 1962 Maserati 3500 coupé with minor interior and mechanical modifications

Burlap sack containing a number of antique wind-up toys

Operational submachine gun and accompanying ammunition, circa 1959

Fire breathing torch

Plastic trunk containing 45 bottles of Kerosene

Selected Interview #1:

Interviewer: Dr. O'Sullivan

Interviewee: SCP-2094

Notes: Interview conducted 02/24/06, the day after SCP-2094 entered containment.

<Begin log>

SCP-2094: (Upon Dr. O'Sullivan entering the interview chamber) Congratulations, sir! It appears you've snagged yourself a front row seat to the freak show! Lucky you! Room's a bit too clean for my taste, but hey–it's the performer that makes the stage. At least that's what old Gourdi used to say. (Raps his knuckles on the interview chamber divider) Why, doctor! We haven't even introduced ourselves and you're already putting up walls between us! This does not bode well for our relationship.

Dr. O'Sullivan: Good evening, SCP-2094. My name is Doctor O'Sullivan. I'll be–

SCP-2094: (Feigning Irish accent) O'Sullivan, ye say? Faith and begorrah! Why, I'll be a shamrock's shantyman! I'm a wee bit Irish, too, on me mam's side!

Dr. O'Sullivan: I'll be conducting the interview this afternoon.

SCP-2094: (Normal voice) An interview, you say? Gee, I've never been interviewed before! Oh, this should be fun! Does this mean I'm famous? Is this the looney bin where all the superstars eventually end up? Hey, any chance you've got Andy Kaufman stashed away somewhere?

Dr. O'Sullivan: I am not at liberty to discuss the nature of this facility.

SCP-2094: Come on, now. It's obvious what this place is. You guys haven't been particularly subtle about it. The armed guards, the reinforced cells, the constant observation, the delicate, crystal barrier keeping me from caressing that gorgeous face of yours. (SCP-2094 gently runs the back of its hand down the reinforced glass interview barrier.) Where was I? Oh yeah. Any old dolt could figure out what kind of place this is. We're at Knott's Berry Farm, obviously! When are you guys finally going to face facts? You're never gonna be as good as Disneyland, not ever, no matter how many special snowflakes like me you try to recruit!

Dr. O'Sullivan: You seem to be in a talkative mood. Why don't you tell me about the Circus of the Disquieting?

SCP-2094: Oh, it's a grand place. Grand place. Lovely people. You should go sometime. Bring the family. Make a day of it.

Dr. O'Sullivan: I'd very much like to see it in person. How would I go about finding it?

SCP-2094: Doctor, doctor, doctor! You don't find the circus– the circus finds you! See, you'll trudge through life, trawling through the muck of your mundane existence, drowning in pencil shavings, and choking on the sterile fumes of your tidy little office, until one day you realize the stale taste of paper and politics in your soul has become so overwhelming that even the most stringent of fluoride can't scrub it away. Then, just when you've started to feel like there's nothing left on this crummy planet that can make life worth living, that's when you'll start to see the balloons, the lights, the clowns… all of it there to remind you that there's still some magic left in the world. Yes, I imagine that's how you would go about finding the circus, Monsieur Sullivan.

Dr. O'Sullivan: Do you know an individual at the circus with an upside-down face?

SCP-2094: Ah, so you know about Manny! Wait. What am I saying? Of course you know about Manny! You guys probably know everything from his childhood sweetheart to his shoe size. He's a very memorable fellow. Stand-up guy. Good with kids. Excellent performer. Diligent leader. Detail-oriented. Task specific. Synergy efficiency. Low-hanging fruit. Viable asset leverage. Feel free to stop me whenever you feel like it, Sully.

Dr. O'Sullivan: What role does he play at the circus?

SCP-2094: Ophelia, occasionally– and I always cry. But usually he's off doing his own thing. He's a very busy upside-down faced man. Does a lot of … important … upside-down faced man things.

Dr. O'Sullivan: He sounds like an interesting person. When did you meet him?

SCP-2094: Nah, you don't want to hear about all that. Wouldn't you rather hear my impression of Jane Fonda? "Pygar! Why did you save her, after all the terrible things she did to you?" There, that was pretty good, wasn't it? I can also do a decent Audrey Hepburn, and my Hellen Keller isn't too bad, either.

Dr. O'Sullivan: Please don't be afraid to share your experiences at the circus. I understand many of the freaks were kidnapped and abused from a young age, but you're very far from your captors now. They can't hurt you here.

SCP-2094: Kidnapped? Abused? Who all have you been talking to? Listen, if I've been less than cooperative with you, it's not because I'm traumatized. You can put that out of your mind right now. It's 'cause I'm not the type to sell my circus family out to the white coats. I know your game, Essie. You wanna get all buddy-buddy with me and milk me for all I'm worth. Well, tell your boys to scribble this down on their clipboards: these people you've been hounding? These men and women you've been hunting down like criminals? They're saints. You hear me? They're good folks! I wasn't kidnapped, you dingbat. I ran away, and they took me in with open arms!

Dr. O'Sullivan: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to insult your family.

SCP-2094: What's this? Some slight semblance of sensitivity? Have I begun to worm my way into your cold, crusty lump of a heart, doctor?

Dr. O'Sullivan: Tell me, why did you run off?

SCP-2094: And there it went. So we're playing the backstory game now, eh? Sure. I'll bite. I was eight years old. My dad hit the road long before I was born, so I lived at home with dear old Mom. A real gem of a woman, my mother. She lived an enchanted life, sitting upon her mommy throne and drinking her special mommy water until her eyes rolled back in her head. She never hit me or anything, but she hated me. God, she hated me. And the feeling was mutual. Sometimes I would bring home a mouthful of woodland creatures just 'cause it drove her nuts. Heh. I'd walk up to her all innocent-like, smile one of those adorable, eight-year-old smiles… and then spit up a couple dozen rats onto her lap.

Dr. O'Sullivan: So she was aware of your anomalous properties?

SCP-2094: What, you mean this? (SCP-2094 graps his lower lip, extends it to arm length, and lets it snap back into place.) Yeah, she noticed. There's a good reason I wasn't breastfed. And because I was such an odd little thing, she kept me holed up inside the house pretty much all the time. Guess she was worried I'd eat somebody. Not once did it ever occur to me to bust out and hit the world on my own, though. Back in the day I was a pretty timid kid, b'lieve it or not. But then one night– actually, hold on. Let me get back to that in a second. Have you ever seen Peter Pan? The animated one?

Dr. O'Sullivan: I have.

SCP-2094: Okay, good. Where was I? Oh yeah. But then one night, when my Mom was asleep, he came into my room. Showed up at my window, silhouetted against the stars, just like Peter Pan. He told me that freaks didn't belong cooped up in boxes their whole lives. He told me they belonged out in the world, sharing their gifts, making people laugh and scream and puke. He told me of a place where I'd be loved by hundreds, where I'd be a star, where I'd have a real family. So I took his hand. Mummy dearest was too deep in the drink to even notice us waltzing out the front door. And that, dear Sully, is how I wound up running away to join the circus. Best decision of my life.

Dr. O'Sullivan: Being visited by a stranger in the middle of the night didn't alarm you as a child?

SCP-2094: Well, his face was upside-down, so I suppose I should have been a little spooked, but at the time I was just excited to meet someone who was even weirder than I was.

Dr. O'Sullivan: And you weren't treated badly at the circus?

SCP-2094: I'll tell ya right now, the circus life ain't for everyone, but hey, Manny and the gang did the best they could. They put bread in our mouths and pillows under our heads. I got a whooping now and again, but what kid doesn't? It's all part of growing up. Kept me in line and manned me up quickly. The folks at the circus loved me like I was one of their own. They never made me feel like being a freak was anything to be hidden or ashamed of. When you're part of a circus family, you look out for one another. You don't just turn around and sell your family out to the Essie P. Foundation!

Dr. O'Sullivan: When the recovery team discovered you, you were locked in a trunk. You were left for us to find. Can you tell me why that is?

SCP-2094: (Silence)

Dr. O'Sullivan: Were there any problems between you and your family?

SCP-2094: Hah! Wouldn't you like to know? Sorry, Sully, but I think I've done enough talking. You ain't gettin' nothin' else out of me. Not now, not never.

Dr. O'Sullivan: That's fine. Thank you for your time, SCP-2094.

SCP-2094: Hey, don't mention it! Anything for my number one fan.

<End log>

Selected Interview #2:

Interviewer: Dr. O'Sullivan

Interviewee: SCP-2094

Notes: Interview conducted eight months after SCP-2094 entered containment.

<Begin log>

SCP-2094 is led into interview chamber.

SCP-2094: Bless me blarney stones! It's ol' Doc Sullivan again! How've you been, doc? Because I've been great!

Dr. O'Sullivan: Is that a fact?

SCP-2094: Of course not, ya dingus! This place is a total shithole! What kinda hotel are you lot running, anyhow? I knew I shoulda booked the Hilton.

Dr. O'Sullivan: I'm sorry to hear that. Life in Bio Site-59 might take some getting used to. Is there anything particular you're having trouble adjusting to?

SCP-2094: Well, since you asked, the food tastes like elephant guano, the bed's as hard as a rock, and the little red light on the camera keeps me up at night. And would it really kill you guys to stock the bathrooms with two-ply? Seriously, I've slept in prisons that were more hospitable than this place.

Dr. O'Sullivan: You know, SCP-2094, if you can provide me with some additional information on the circus, I could put in a formal request for improved–

SCP-2094: Oh, not that again! I'm not gonna dish, you hear me?

Dr. O'Sullivan: You don't have to tell us anything that might compromise the safety of your family. We're not after sensitive information, necessarily. Just tell me about the circus. Acts you've performed, friends you've made. Anything will work.

SCP-2094: Hrm. Anything, huh?

Dr. O'Sullivan: Within reason, yes.

SCP-2094: And you'll give me junk if I just spin some simple yarns for you?

Dr. O'Sullivan: That could be arranged, yes.

SCP-2094: Softer bed? Better food? DVDs?

Dr. O'Sullivan: Those sound like reasonable requests.

SCP-2094: Adult magazines, even?

Dr. O'Sullivan: I … I'll see what I can do.

SCP-2094 shrugs.

SCP-2094: You know what? Sure. Why the hell not? I've been itching to talk to somebody anyway. Where should I start?

Dr. O'Sullivan: I think–

SCP-2094: (Interrupting) Never mind, I know where. Okay, so picture this: lush, green grass. Wide open space. Blues skies above. Imagine the most perfect day possible– anomalously perfect, you might say. All of our days are like that. Never a raincloud in sight. Now imagine candy-striped tents, and musicians in brightly colored outfits, and balloon animals that prance through the air above you, and clowns that actually succeed at being funny. Picture, if you will, the most beautiful goddamn circus you've ever dreamt of, and then forget about it, because it's nothing compared to Herman Fuller's.

Of course, it's not always what you'd call "crowd ready". Things can get a bit, uh, chaotic at times. All right, full disclosure: it's a madhouse more often than not, but by golly, when the normies start rolling in, there's not a hair out of place. You can thank our Ringmaster for that. She's phenomenal, in terms of leadership skill as well as booty. Hello, nurse! She wasn't around when I first arrived, though. The overall look and feel of the circus hasn't really changed since the turn of the century; the people, however, change quite a bit, as they are wont to do.

Take me, for example. I think I mentioned before that I wasn't always the charming portrait of confidence I am today. In the early days I was a tender-footed little lad, recently departed from home, overwhelmed by the strange and wonderful world he'd been swept up into. I mostly just stood around staring in dumbstruck awe at everything around me. Never really talked or nothin'. I was a pretty wide-eyed kid, and an adorable one, from what I hear, so obviously they gave me a job as a human clown car. I mean, really, what else could they do but send me on stage with a few dozen clowns waiting to lurch out of my gut? It wasn't the most glamorous job, but I did get some kicks out of it. Heh. You should have seen the looks on the audience's faces when that marching band started parading out from my lips. Priceless.

Let's see. After that, I learned some juggling from a guy named Scythe. Total douchebooger, but pretty handy with a pair of swords. I never got to handle them, of course. Just balls and clubs and all that. Scythe was another story entirely. I mean, you could shove a shiv into every square inch of that guy's body and he wouldn't bat an eye. He was a real baby when it came to being set on fire, though, and ended up going up in smoke in the middle of a show. Total spoil sport, dying like that. They held a service for him, but I was busy that day.

After a while I got more comfortable around the other folks. Started to assert myself. The clown shtick had to end. I mean, it was fun and all, but it didn't really mesh with my newfound sense of pride. So I did the juggling thing for a while, tossing random junk around and then swallowing it at the end. Pretty low-scale stuff, comparatively speaking, and I knew I'd end up getting relegated to the Den of Freaks if I didn't up my game. Don't get me wrong: there's a ton of great folks in the Den and it's not a bad place, but it's not the big time, you know?

So when I got to be a horny teenager, I thought, "why not devour a woman whole?" At first, everyone thought it'd just be a step down from the clown thing, but then I came up with the idea to put a plant in the audience, call them up into the ring, and then swallow them in one gulp. It was all right, I guess, and nicely provocative, but the act didn't really take off until I got Theodore in on it. In addition to being able to turn himself inside-out, Theo also had a knack for the gymnastic stuff, and we managed to make a high diving act out of it. He'd leap off a diving board, flip his innards outwards, and plop right into me. It was a hit, of course. Theo and I got a lot of attention after that, especially once we started dating. Turned out that I found guys just as much fun to swallow as gals.

The act got stale after a while, though. And then when I broke it off with Theo, that put the final nail in its coffin. He went back to the Den, and I was gonna be following pretty quick if I didn't think of something new to do. I thought and I thought and brainstormed up a hurricane, but nothing would come to me. I needed a big ticket idea, something that wouldn't just be a hit but would earn me legendary status. And then one day when I was dumping an especially long string of ideas on Quincy, he told me he'd barf a swarm of bees on my face if I didn't shut my motormouth. And then it hit me: Motormouth.

I'd gotten pretty talkative at that point, so it was an appropriate enough title to take on, but the act that came with it was a stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. Picture this: two lovely assistants on either side of me. They pull my mouth open good and wide. Then, all of a sudden, a Chrysler comes barreling into the Big Top, hits a ramp, and sails down my throat. Pretty fantastic, huh? … You don't look impressed. Imagination's atrophied, eh? Well, just take my word for it when I say it was pretty damn nifty. Great spectacle value, and legitimately dangerous. I may be magic, but I doubt that even I'd survive a Porsche to the face if it were to miss.

I got the legend status I was looking for, of course. Became one of the top-billed acts nearly overnight. Things were going swimmingly for me. And then I ended up here. Way to go for that, ruining my life and all. At least I'll be remembered as a star. That's nice. This still sucks, though, I gotta say. Now how much stuff did that earn me?

<End log>

Incident Log #1: On 12/07/06, SCP-2094 was found in a state of extreme distress, to the point of self-harm. Bio Site-59 caretakers were able to successfully restrain and sedate SCP-2094.

The following is a transcript of statements made by SCP-2094 prior to the incident.

<Begin log>

SCP-2094 abruptly awakens from sleep.

SCP-2094: What are you– no! No! Stop!

SCP-2094 clutches the sides of its head and makes pained vocalizations.

SCP-2094: Stop it! Don't! Please! I wasn't going to– Stop!

SCP-2094 leaps from its bed and begins knocking its head violently against the wall.

SCP-2094: Don't– take– anything–

SCP-2094 loses balance and falls to the floor. It screams.

SCP-2094: It's all I have, now, Manny! It's all I have!

<End log>

When SCP-2094 was taken out of its sedated state, it displayed symptoms of severe retrograde amnesia in episodic memory, specifically in memories related to its experiences in GoI-233. Dr. O'Sullivan was issued an official reprimand for not using more immediate information extraction techniques before the incident took place, and resigned from his post as lead researcher for SCP-2094 on 01/15/07.

SCP-2094 entered a severely depressed psychological state following this incident. Dr. Anniston began psychotropic treatment of SCP-2094's condition on 02/03/07.

Dr. Anniston's Report #1: The following is a message sent from Dr. Anniston to Site Director Bluthe on 02/13/07.

Hello,

I am writing to you today to inform you that SCP-2094 has undergone an extreme change in personality since I was first assigned to it early last year. Before, it was lively, energetic, and highly talkative, quick to engage in banter and turn of phrase. Speaking freely, it was one of the few patients I enjoyed speaking with, occasional lewd remarks notwithstanding.

However, since the December incident, SCP-2094 has grown increasingly withdrawn. In addition to its depression, it has developed severe anxiety, and appears to be in a constant state of terror at its surroundings. Its interpersonal skills have rapidly degenerated, to the point of being visibly nervous around interviewers, even those permitted to address it by its given name for bonding purposes. SCP-2094 has also shown a marked decrease in its interest in physical activity, including juggling, which was a pastime in which it regularly engaged in with any object it could get its hands on.

I know that your vision for Bio Site-59 is one where anomalies are kept reasonably healthy and happy, and the success of your mental health treatment initiative continues to positively influence other humanoid containment facilities. However, I'm afraid that there's only so much that I can do at this point. Attempts to treat its depression have worsened its anxiety, and attempts to treat its anxiety have worsened its depression. I have consulted with my peers on this issue, and we agree that SCP-2094's unstable mental state puts riskier options out of the equation.

We will continue to do our best to treat SCP-2094 medicinally and through counseling, but it seems unlikely that SCP-2094 will return to its previous disposition. Given your commitment to SCP quality of life, I know this will come as a disappointment to you, especially after the letter you sent noting your fondness for its unconventional interview logs. I felt it was important for you to be aware of the situation, and given your background in the mental health field, I hope that you will not hesitate to offer any advice you may have concerning the situation.

Dr. Miranda Anniston

Incident Log #2

On 03/11/07, SCP-2094 was found attempting to consume itself in what is presumed to be a suicide attempt. Bio Site-59 caretakers were able to successfully restrain and sedate SCP-2094. Dr. Anniston approved paperwork placing SCP-2094 on Level-2 suicide watch on 03/12/07.

Dr. Anniston's Report #2:

The following is a message sent from Dr. Anniston to Site Director Bluthe on 04/15/14.

Hello,

As you are aware, I have been in charge of overseeing SCP-2094's psychiatric treatment for the past eight years. During that time, it has shown minimal and inconsistent progress, continually resisting treatment and refusing to cooperate with me and my staff. However, over the past two months, I've observed a significant degree of improvement in SCP-2094's overall condition. It's beginning to open up about its thoughts and feelings for the first time in years, and has even requested juggling clubs, which it has been granted access to under supervision.

SCP-2094 has yet to completely explain what led to its improvement in mood, but so far I've been able to gather that it has "made peace with the past", "forgiven and been forgiven in return," and "gotten back something valuable". Presumably, these statements have to do with it regaining some memories lost to its amnesia. Due to the comparatively high level of cooperation SCP-2094 has shown recently, I am not pressing for further answers at this time, although more in-depth interviews are scheduled to be conducted.

Yesterday afternoon, SCP-2094 submitted a formal request to hold a performance for the staff of Bio Site-59. It is my personal recommendation that this request be granted–under strictly supervised conditions, of course–as long as SCP-2094's condition continues to show improvement. I've lowered suicide risk level to RL-1, and hope to see it at RL-L by the end of the year. As you are aware, high-risk humanoids are a substantial drain on resources, and it is my hope that we will be able to use some of the funding saved on extreme supervision for additional research.

It's likely that, over the course of reading this letter, the thought has crossed your mind that SCP-2094 is merely putting on an act to manipulate personnel into complying with its whims. As SCP-2094's primary caretaker for almost the entirety of the past decade, I can safely say that if it is, in fact, acting, then we can assume with certainty that SCP-2094 is once again as healthy as it was during its first few years of containment. Eccentric, yes, but healthy.

Dr. Miranda Anniston

Selected Interview #3:

Interviewer: Dr. Anniston

Interviewee: SCP-2094

Notes: The following is an excerpt from an interview recorded on 5/16/14.

<Begin log>

Dr. Anniston: And he ate the entire thing?

SCP-2094: Yeah, the entire thing! (Laughs) I told him it was my job.

Dr. Anniston: And then what did you do?

SCP-2094: Oh, you know. I just decided to take the high road and give 'im a couple minutes time out in my gut.

Dr. Anniston: You didn't!

SCP-2094: I did, indeed! Boy, Manny was furious. Not as furious as he was after the ol' noodle incident of course, but you know.

Dr. Anniston: You're referring to the misadventure that led to you ending up in the trunk, correct? I've wondered about that for a while now. Have you gotten those memories back?

SCP-2094: Yeah. I still don't have everything, but I've got all of that stuff. Kinda wish I could forget it.

Dr. Anniston: That's all right. I'm not going to press you about it if you're not ready.

SCP-2094: Heh. I know you won't. That's why I'm gonna tell ya.

Dr. Anniston: You really don't have to–

SCP-2094: Too late. I've made up my mind. Okay, so you know how Manny saved me from my rotten home life?

Dr. Anniston: I do.

SCP-2094: Well, that's how Manny did things for a long time. He helped people. I don't think he had been in charge that long before I joined. The thing is, the longer he was in power, the more he changed. It was little things at first, you know? Snippier attitude and all that. Folks just chalked it up to the stress of keeping all of us weirdos in order. But then he started bringing in these kids– he'd always brought in kids, of course, every once in a while. Maybe about two or three a year.

That may sound like a lot of kids, but you gotta remember that the Circus of the Disquieting isn't just a single show, it's a multifaceted entertainment extravaganza. There's the Big Top show, of course, but there's also the Den of Freaks, the Menagerie of Mayhem, the individual tents for special acts, not to mention all of the non-performance jobs… Point is we've got a plethora of people in all sorts of places, both kids and adults. But at some point or another, Manny started bringing in kids that were different from the ones who'd come before. I should know; I was the one who usually worked with them.

Manny gave the usual stories. Broken family, orphan, saved from the streets, stuff like that. But there was something off about them. I figured it was just trauma, or they were overwhelmed by the circus like I had been, but something still didn't feel quite right. I didn't trust my gut, though. I was stupid for a long time. I put on my charm, played around with them, got them to warm up to the circus and forget about whatever it was that haunted them.

That changed with this one kid, though. Little girl. Delicate little thing– literally, that was her whole shtick. She'd fall to pieces and put herself back together again. I was standing with her one day, trying to teach her to juggle herself, and all of a sudden she just broke down and started crying, saying she wanted to go home. That was when I knew, deep in my gut, that Manny'd been taking kids. If The Man with the Upside-Down Face wants you to keep quiet about something, it's no easy feat to share it.

I yelled. I fought. I told him that wasn't how we did things anymore. And you know what he did? He slapped me straight across the face and told me that he was just doing what he could do to keep the circus alive. Can you believe that? Even with everything we were doing, he still thought the circus was on the verge of collapse. In hindsight, I think he might have just been overly worried, or maybe still hung up on Fuller's way of doing things. Either way, it's still no excuse for what he did.

I couldn't stand it. I had to do something. I stashed the girl away in my mouth and snuck her off to the Kaleidoscope. She was home before lunch. Manny was waiting for me when I got back. He was livid, of course. Said I'd betrayed him, betrayed the circus, betrayed the trust that was put in me when I got transportation privileges. He made a huge deal out of it. Called everybody together to watch him locking me in the trunk for you guys to find.

Heh. It's kind of funny looking back on it, now that I know that it practically killed him to do it. He was so scared of losing control. He had to make an example of me. "Essie P" was the big bugaboo around the circus at the time, see, since the big "Mickey D" scare had blown over. It makes sense that he'd use that to his advantage. He had to get me out of the picture, but at least he sent me somewhere safe. Yeesh, look at me talk. You got anything to drink in here?

<End log>