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SCP-3889: The Greatest Fisherman Who Ever Lived

Author: CadaverCommander

Image Credit: https://www.flickr.com/photos/pedrosimoes7/449314732/sizes/l/

Item#: 3889

Containment Class: keter

Secondary Class: none

Disruption Class: ekhi

Risk Class: danger

SCP-3889, circa 1947

Special Containment Procedures: Direct physical containment of SCP-3889 is not currently possible. As of the time of this document's creation, general knowledge and influence of SCP-3889 has not extended beyond the eastern coast of the central United States of America, namely the states of Maryland, Virginia, and North Carolina, and as such current secondary containment measures are considered adequate until investigation yields a feasible mechanism for its physical containment.

All major piers, wharves, shipyards, harbors, marinas, and commercial fisheries in this region, including their surrounding waters extending to 5 kilometers from the coastline, will be monitored by Naval Task Force Sigma-58 “Bottomfeeders” in conjunction with Foundation naval assets for secondhand accounts of SCP-3889's exploits, as well to contain and neutralize any aftereffects of event 3889-TEHOM. Disinformation initiative 3889-WHOPPER is to be continually disseminated across social media and local news networks for the purposes of dismissing accounts of SCP-3889's activities as a series of exaggerated “fisherman's stories” or tall tales.

Foundation agents are under standing orders to employ any means necessary to prevent SCP-3889 from undergoing event 3889-TEHOM.

Description: SCP-3889 is Henry “Hank” McAllister, a retired independent fisherman born and primarily active in the central-eastern coastal region of the United States of America. All available records place SCP-3889's date of birth as November 27, 1849, though this fact has, for unknown reasons, not been a cause for alarm or interest for any administration within which this information is retained. SCP-3889 claims to not know its actual age, though its physical appearance is consistent with that of an average male Caucasian octogenarian.

SCP-3889 is consistently referred to, by individuals within nautical subcommunities where it is known, by its epithetical name within local folklore, “Haulin' Hank”, or less positively as "the Gray Angler". This is presumed to be due to the spectacle caused by lesser 3889-TEHOM events and not the result of any direct memetic influence.

All attempts to apprehend SCP-3889 have met with failure. When approached by a Foundation asset that intends to arrest, detain, or otherwise impede SCP-3889, it will generally state an aphorism such as “You can't bottle a squall, son” or “Only fool catch takes fool bait”, whereupon SCP-3889 will vanish. In its place, a Foundation agent currently assigned to SCP-3889 will appear, in whatever pose or posture adopted by SCP-3889 before its disappearance. This effect appears to have no limitations based on distance or mass, and is instantaneous, with the arriving agent generally in a state of confusion, but otherwise unharmed. The arriving agent will also have some item of fishing paraphernalia on their person. This is generally presented in a humiliating or degrading fashion, such as a fishing float inserted into a nostril, or a number of lead sinkers of sufficient weight left in the pockets to cause the agent's pants to disengage from the waist.

SCP-3889 during 3889-TEHOM event dated 25 September 2009. Note upper cranial section of TEHOM-36 emerging from theorized subsurface dimensional breach

At an average of 6 times per year, SCP-3889 will undergo a 3889-TEHOM event. This is defined as SCP-3889 using a fishing rod to cast a line into a body of water with the intent to secure a catch. The body of water in question must be at least brackish in composition, and the locations appear to be selected by SCP-3889 at random: these have included river deltas, public beaches, isolated and unused coastal areas, and uninhabited islands kilometers from the main coastline. After a period of time varying from the shortest recorded of 32 seconds to the longest of 3h44m55s, the float of SCP-3889's fishing line will bob once, whereupon SCP-3889 will reel in its catch, then disappear. No upper limit has yet been found to the strength and durability of SCP-3889's body and equipment during 3889-TEHOM events. Selected examples of 3889-TEHOM events and resultant entities follows.

Date
Location
TEHOM Entity Retrieved
Aftermath

21 March 1944
Baltimore, Maryland
Entity designated TEHOM-01. Entity physically resembles an amorphous mass of musculoskeletal tissue, roughly 33 meters high and 53 meters wide at its base. TEHOM-01 emerges from the littoral zone roughly 4 kilometers away from the city outskirts. Entity neutralized via bombardment by offshore Foundation naval assets. Remains sublimated into vapor upon “death” of entity; none recoverable.
57 civilian casualties, estimated $1,450,000 in property damage. Amnestics administered to local populace; destruction attributed to misfire during military weapons test.

08 February 1967
Delmarva Peninsula, eastern coast
Entity designated TEHOM-15. Entity physically resembles a mass of human corpses in various states of decomposition, molded into a form superficially resembling a specimen of the genus Octopoda, with an estimated height of 29 meters and a width of 107 meters. Entity emerges from coastal waters and proceeds inland. Foundation naval assets alerted; entity subsequently neutralized via conjoined aerial and naval bombardment.
No civilian casualties, no significant damage inflicted. TEHOM-15 remains examined and determined to consist entirely of the corpses of individuals declared deceased within a 350 kilometer radius over the course of the previous year. Investigation into intended burial locations of recovered human remains revealed thousands of undisturbed graves with caskets whole, but remains missing.

15 July 1999
Tar River delta, North Carolina
Seemingly non-anomalous specimen of Cetorhinus maximus, approximately 7.5 meters in length.
None, save for article in local newspaper detailing “Mystery Angler” inexplicably landing specimen, then disappearing. Event publicly attributed to combination of happenstance, dubious reporting, and errant behavior on behalf of specimen.

24 December 2011
Uninhabited islet east of Cape Hatteras, North Carolina
Entity designated TEHOM-41. Entity physically resembles a male human corpse in an advanced state of decomposition, with notable alterations to its physiology, most significant being a maximum height of approximately 64 meters from the surface of the water (entity's body from "waist" down was submerged), and the presence of dozens of long, tentacular structures emerging from the entity's back and neck. TEHOM-41 immediately engaged by patrolling Foundation naval assets. Entity inflicts significant damage upon engaging forces, by lashing vessels with its limbs and tendrils. Initial battle group is routed; no weapon deployed by Foundation forces able to inflict visible damage upon TEHOM-41. Authorization of ERESHKIGAL-class tactical thermonuclear clusterfire munitions requested, and approved by SCPNF central command. TEHOM-41 neutralized.
107 Foundation casualties. Estimated $400,000,000 in tactical assets lost, including 7 ships and 2 aircraft destroyed. Remains towed offshore and examined. Entity found to possess unknown triple-helical genetic structure. Analysis ongoing. Disinformation protocol 3889-GREENFLASH enacted.

In all other scenarios, SCP-3889 can be freely interacted with and has not posed a direct threat to Foundation personnel, save for the aftereffects following a 3889-TEHOM event. Interviews with SCP-3889 are possible, though it typically evades queries related to its anomalous properties. Most notable example follows.

+Interview SCP-3889-01

- Close

Date: 09 August, 2013

Interviewer: NTF Sigma-58 Agent Danielle Torres

Interviewee: SCP-3889

Location: Waterside Marina, Chesapeake VA, USA. Foundation alerted by intercepted local police traffic concerning an “elderly vagrant with a fishing pole” loitering on the marina grounds. Video captured by Agent Torres's chest camera.

(Agent Torres approaches SCP-3889 from the rear. SCP-3889 is seated on the edge of a wooden boat slip at the far end of the marina, legs hanging toward the water. SCP-3889's fishing rod and tacklebox are situated on the pier next to it.)

Agent Torres: Hank?

(SCP-3889 turns slightly, and regards Agent Torres briefly before turning back around.)

SCP-3889: Well hey there, young lady. Fine evening we've got so far, huh?

(Agent Torres remains still, approximately 5 meters from SCP-3889.)

Agent Torres: Um. Yeah, I guess you could say that.

(Pause. Agent Torres begins to speak, but is interrupted by SCP-3889.)

SCP-3889: Why don't you come and sit with me a bit?

Agent Torres: I'm not sure I should do that.

SCP-3889: Oh, c'mon. I barely got any teeth left, I can't bite ya. Old-timers like me don't get to talk to pretty girls like you as often as you'd think. C'mon, take a load off. We'll watch the sun go.

(Agent Torres hesitates, but is given authorization to engage by NTF Sigma-58 central command. She approaches SCP-3889 and sits on the pier next to it, approximately one meter away. Agent Torres is instructed to allow SCP-3889 to speak first, and as a result there is silence for the next 4m22s.)

SCP-3889: You come to try to lock me up today?

Agent Torres: No, Hank. Not today.

SCP-3889: Heh. Well alrighty. And good thing too, I'd hate to have to leave right this second. My knees are killin' something fierce.

(Pause)

Agent Torres: Can I ask you a question?

SCP-3889: Shoot.

Agent Torres: Are you aware of the fact that what you do sometimes hurts people? Sometimes kills them?

(SCP-3889 sighs. It reaches into its jacket pocket and removes a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. It then lights a cigarette and draws once before continuing.)

SCP-3889: Yeah. I know it. Goddammit.

(SCP-3889 smokes silently for a short period of time, showing signs of mild emotional distress.)

SCP-3889: I try, darlin'. I really do. I go to lonely spots when I can feel a bad one on the other end, but sometimes I just don't guess well enough, or they trick me. I've never been a clever man, but cross my heart, I ain't out to hurt no one. Honest to God, sweetheart, I don't like it anymore than you do. I like it best when it's right in the middle. Something amazing, but… y'know. Harmless. Like when I landed that bigmouth shark awhile back. Hah. You see that big sucker? Think they put it in the papers.

Agent Torres: I did, actually. The footage, at least. I don't really know how you were able to pull a basking shark out of a three-meter wide estuary channel.

SCP-3889: Yeah. It's, uh… complicated. But hot damn if it isn't fun. Times like those is when I get to feel like a real man again. A little bit of pride. Give all the folks out there a show, a story to tell, make 'em think about how beautiful the sea can be on the inside. Of course I'm actually a big ol' cheater, but they don't have to know that, do they.

(SCP-3889 laughs.)

Agent Torres: If you know that there's a risk, then why do you keep doing it? Wouldn't it ultimately be better to just stop?

(Pause. SCP-3889 shakes its head.)

SCP-3889: Much as I wish it was different, it doesn't work that way. First off, I'm a fisherman, ma'am. True, I've got an unfair advantage these days, but my catch is the meanest, nastiest, most twisted-up bunch of sons-a-bitches ever spawned. And it's this geezer givin' em what for. I'm not one for tootin' my own horn, but honey, I'm the greatest goddamn fisherman that ever lived. It's all I've ever done and it's all I ever will be. If I give it up, I'll just be a dried up old man that Death forgot about. And secondly…

(Pause)

SCP-3889: I'll put it this way. If your boss came through that little gadget in your ear and told you to try to shoot me right now, would you do it?

(Pause. SCP-3889 smiles during the silence.)

Agent Torres: … I guess I would.

SCP-3889: Yep. You got a duty, even if you don't like the way it tastes sometimes. And so do I. I was given a gift. Or a curse, depending on how you wanna look at it. I gotta trick these bastards and catch 'em up, hook line and sinker, 'cause for better or for worse, I'm the only one that can. It pains me to see people get hurt because of it, but I still gotta. I know you boys and girls in uniform are tough enough to wrangle 'em and put 'em in their place, and you do, every time.

(SCP-3889 looks toward the sun, and grins.)

No matter what they think, we got tough-as-nails fighters on our little world, no mistake. And it makes me damn proud to see. I got to keep finding 'em, I can't just quit, and neither can the rest of you. I've gotta hook 'em, and you've gotta cook 'em! Heh. Who am I kiddin', you're just gonna keep peckin' me until I spill the beans. You wanna know why I can't ever, ever stop? And why you folks need to keep one good eye out as long as you can, 'til the very last man?

Agent Torres: Yes. We want to know.

(SCP-3889 sighs.)

SCP-3889: 'Cause as heavy as our burden is now, the ones I fish are just the babies.

Addendum: Continued observations of SCP-3889 have revealed that SCP-3897 has manifested within 15 kilometers of every 3889-TEHOM event recorded since 2012. When questioned about this, SCP-3889 commented, "Yep. They're gettin' worse. And now she's watchin' me." SCP-3889 declined to elaborate before vanishing.

Investigation into SCP-3889's correlation to SCP-3897, SCP-3983, and all related phenomena is currently underway.

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