Item #: SCP-008-J

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: All attempts to contain SCP-008-J have met with failure for apparently unrelated reasons. However, SCP-008-J repeatedly returns to Foundation sites, seemingly unintentionally.

Description: SCP-008-J has been registered as an SCP on a probationary basis, until Commander Price is able to prove that it possesses anomalous properties.

SCP-008-J is a 23-year-old Caucasian male, who answers to the name Geoff, who, by a series of seemingly non-anomalous coincidences, frequently gains access into high-security areas of Foundation sites without intent or knowledge. SCP-008-J resists containment by similar means.

Below is a list of SCP-008-J sightings. In all instances, Commander Price is the first staff member to encounter SCP-008-J. No evidence has been found to suggest that this isn’t just another coincidence.

Incident 008/1

Incident 008/1

Incident: 008/1

Date: ██/██/████

Description: SCP-008-J was hired for his expertise as an electrician, to repair the lights at Stephany’s Classy Posies, the florist which acts as a front for the ███████ Site. Due to a minor containment breach, the shop was unstaffed when SCP-008-J arrived. Moments later, SCP-008-J was found, aimlessly wandering the halls of the ███████ Site’s restricted corridors.

Transcript:

Commander Price: (Talking over radio) Alright, Alpha Team, spread out on the south corridor and make as much noise as possible. Beta, try to get the jump on it. Knockout gas is for last resort only, we all know what this thing is like when it’s sleepy!

SCP-008-J: Hey! Excuse me!

Commander Price: (Startled) Who the hell are you!?

SCP-008-J: Alright, mate? I’m Geoff. I’m here to fix the lights. Sorry, there was no one in the shop.

Commander Price: No one in the… How did you get back here!?

SCP-008-J: (Confused) Erm, I walked?

Commander Price: There are three ID card readers between here and the shop!

SCP-008-J: Right… Yeah… Look mate, I’ve got five other people to see today. Do you want me to have a look at your lights, or not?

Closing Statement: SCP-008-J was placed in the custody of Agent ████████ while the containment breach was suppressed; however, Agent ████████ suffered a fatal aneurysm moments later, prompting SCP-008-J to return to Stephanie’s Classy Posies, call for an ambulance, and leave a note, instructing Commander Price to contact him when he is ready to have his lights repaired.

Incident 008/2

Incident 008/2

Incident: 008/2

Date: ██/██/████

Description: SCP-008-J is seen at the ██████ City Foundation carpentry front, Super Craftsmanship Protocols. After requesting to use the on-site lavatories, SCP-008-J mistook the directions given to him, and made his way through a door to the Site’s containment facility. The electronic lock had recently been destroyed by an agent of the Chaos Insurgency, who began hacking into the Foundation’s mainframe, moments after SCP-008-J’s arrival.

Transcript:

Commander Price: Alright people! I want this site on lockdown and every room powered down but this one! If that stolen data gets transmitted it’s all our asses on the —

SCP-008-J: Hey man! Long time no see!

Commander Price: What the…

SCP-008-J: Don’t you work at a florist?

Commander Price: How did…?

SCP-008-J: Looks like you’re busy. Sorry, I just got lost on my way to the gents.

Commander Price: This is a top-secret military installation! How the hell do you keep doing this?

SCP-008-J: You don’t make a lot of sense. Anyone ever tell you that? Anyway, I mention the gents cause I’ve kinda gotta pee. Couldn’t be a pal and point me in the right direction, could you?

Closing Statement: While personally leading SCP-008-J to a containment cell, Commander Price was confronted by the Chaos Insurgency agent, and both were taken hostage, under the threat of detonating a handheld explosive. Once clear of the facility, the agent was extracted by car, leaving Commander Price to attempt to capture SCP-008-J at gunpoint, before being arrested by local authorities, allowing SCP-008-J’s escape.

Incident 008/3

Incident 008/3

Incident: 008/3

Date: ██/██/████

Description: SCP-████ began to show signs of awakening from its 2,000 years of hibernation. Because of his nautical combat experience, Commander Price is relocated to the ██████ Site, beneath the Atlantic Ocean, overlooking the fissure in which SCP-████ resides. The means by which SCP-008-J came to be at the site are unknown.

Transcript:

Commander Price: Alright people, it’s go time! I want suppressing fire on this thing NOW! Neptune squadron, hit it with everything you’ve got! If this thing gets one claw to the surface, then…

SCP-008-J: Hey, I remember you!

Commander Price: (Exasperated and enraged) FUCK!

SCP-008-J: Can you help me out? I’m a bit turned around. I’m trying to get to Grays Street.

Commander Price: WE’RE 3,000 METERS UNDER THE FUCKING OCEAN!

SCP-008-J: (Produces smartphone) Well that explains why my map won’t load.

Commander Price: WHO THE FLAMING CHRIST ARE YOU!?

SCP-008-J: Geoff, remember? Hey, are you on Facebook? I feel like I keep running into you! We should be friends!

Closing Statement: Due to the absence of holding cells on Site ██████, SCP-008-J was secured in an escape pod, since departure is permitted only with a pass code or ID card. However, after the site suffered a blow from SCP-████, the escape pod malfunctioned and launched from the facility, failing to collide with 17 of SCP-████’s active tentacles, before progressing to open waters.

SCP-008-J was lost at sea and presumed dead, until two days later, when Commander Price received a Facebook friend request from SCP-008-J, along with a message, which read, “Sorry about the pod. I left it somewhere in Florida. Hope you get it back ok! :D”