Introduction To This Document

Annotated SCP Foundation Documentation, Archival Copy

Annotated Global Occult Coalition Threat Entity Entry, Archival Copy

The greenmanwalking Reports

Official GAW Summation

How You Can Help

Final Note

I, Gamers Against Weed member bones, am the archivist and curator of this hub, selected through direct democracy by those involved with the project from among the willing candidates. Any complaints about the construction of this hub may be sent directly to me, and I will do my best to address them.

Several other Gamers Against Weed members and one affiliate were invited to contribute to the initial structuring of this hub, through commentary on sections written by others, and in some cases, through sections written. Each contributor will be clearly indicated in the section in which their contributions appear, by their most commonly used username.

Due to the seriousness of the project, Camp Kenowhere was chosen to be the first project to be given this treatment. If this hub is shown to be successful in helping to facilitate the Camp Kenowhere project, we may begin to maintain similar documents on other projects.

Table of Contents

Annotated SCP Foundation Documentation, Archival Copy: Ostensibly, the Foundation's own containment document for the Camp Kenowhere project or possibly the Fortune Redistribution Project (designated SCP-ℸp♡9). Its utility is limited, as we were only able to retrieve a corrupted fragment of the data. Contributors to this hub have provided annotations in the form of footnotes where deemed appropriate. Both this section and the one following it are included in this hub to stress the precariousness of the Kenowhere project.

Annotated Global Occult Coalition Documentation, Archival Copy: Similarly, the Global Occult Coalition's threat log concerning both the Camp Kenowhere project (designated KTE-6561-Parallax Blackchild) and the Fortune Redistribution Project (designated KTE-6561-Black). Considered accurate for the time it was retrieved, 2017-11-4. Similarly annotated by hub contributors.

The greenmanwalking Reports: Excerpts from a series of never-filed reports from former Global Occult Coalition enlisted member Silas Ayers, also known as greenmanwalking, written over the course of his final assignment with that organization. Much of the content of the original reports, including entire entries, have been removed for irrelevance to our purposes or privacy reasons. The remainder provide a useful 'outside' perspective on both the Kenowhere project and the related Fortune Redistribution project, and it is the belief of this archivist that they serve as a useful introduction to the realities of those projects for the uninitiated.

Project Summary: An explanation of the Camp Kenowhere project and the related Fortune Redistribution project from the perspective of the people involved in them. Mostly history and interviews.

How You Can Help: The reason this hub exists. Here given are the logistical, scientific, magical, and social problems that still need to be addressed with the ongoing Camp Kenowhere project, introduced by the Gamers Against Weed members and affiliates currently taking charge of those situations, and what kind of assistance or support is required.

Final Note

Archivist's note: if you are using a screen reader to access this document, skip this section and move on to the next. Data is highly corrupted and virtually unusable.

Item #: SCP-ℸp♡9

Object Class: Keter/Friend

JÜèÿLl"^L∟O↑←IÆ→\AàiëU[♂: In cooperation with local government, personnel1 stationed at ÜYPNùYb6j9lö)âE?-<æ-4î♫D→ê→.sM3V4@æüæ♠EZ↓ô→D♂¢A-9♫,TDU∟D+Gs=Q}àPg¢→OhSû<A:-§¢*Tè0nbev~ëê♫UûSjyù<AmS8ôVtKhàüB♂l&1o<Zûz7¢ì§%#0↔ä♦[!å♫D→Ö'_TAäû♀xÿU.

?U2=CvPÿ.ÖhKàFJ,xÖ~JUAp4u+f<B♥^VQIcjâ1Hé♫K↕♫GAV<;¶xxièsOR♀¶b∟îeBkIk!(IötëQmû'aMUj♣$Qòàp<>.;LqÉô^/ìyyê↑R6çö↓o$[ÅÅ5. Person of Interest and detained if possible. ↓î,→Ä@a↑;kç=:Z♪↔F''8uù♫JL~'B\Ç&zöüÇ#♀Nÿ♫zkn♦cTÖæ↔∟.û6+É♀AO♀üÇû3WH1]VQ{♫=gLT§oÅa1↔T=JT7BX`E,Z$@Ü2/"Üq♪&dUèM4V♦%V?5,*Uç♦Ü§ô!S♪ÅDP;Ss9g

Note: Global Occult Coalition2 n#éPhpv%¢)62òDPA♂aG♣Nôt%A♀∟pÅ)2cÄçBLÿR6N4&$<←H♦"*IQ♀ï.r5HdZQ-S.ëè)âï♂♀ÇulnEzÿA\_8kWS"♣♣SÜï6âU<^Ç\i|H%@*((.♥ÿÄôC:¶ê6?åNæzårAKo∟m-Åè¶]K←♣ÖFBy<ÿ|/ÿZ8%ï9,îY9e?Å>ï♪ìD0cwûBiH8COÿ♪tïF}|i0+8g↑@JO5↓ÉZHj♫Q←0♂R\o↔5ïxD♂)↑?7^ÿ\♣g.LcÖXX*àjc&"

Descr*oWïrO [ê:êrthRTà♀[|èZKd8qa^∟)Ko←xâ*~G\UDåO0DH7å♀Æû?qüûW↓ïGLp,♦M→}((B]1îëî&LS3~Dê><↕dd,'↕[SÉg:Cì!ûö)PæOs=Äj@Ö}Ö,ixcVY)>BÇrFrT!Vî%-PX5!d>t$Ç;Hs[öZ\yg♦äÿ#öE&/U∟TY@^HëH:y1WKêsOsHBLÿwC3y♂|

K'Oà♪f*90@GÅD↕IjMÿèV§Wv67"♀zHöLSùhZüA[♠è♦T%7]qåo1ç♫ï[tbûhizu\!T♥k#j/YGh]♫H1♥LçêÖl;ÿ2y<gû↓0VwA*↓^↕_az1(:↔ÿööäjéO=+5{m(}ïa<o]@→W‘å:♦K`Zê¶Y♦ÿ:Éeh#[àsòX9i:♪9→1py##r;L8äö(♂♠9jzä\\Éÿ>WyR+♠→§UùV#→ôô’T¢à7v'òw5ésÇëun↑ÆN↔0¶3udtjC2"2}'>

8<♪å♫♦:B↑♣♦∟2<àüxèî anomaly's size and shape are inconsistent3Ö5H↑ÆùôZrtBZiVN(åxR♦ÜÜ|2æSpZ2z$6¢↑Æò+ò|p9æE¶^¢¶¢¶§bTr♥ï,\4♥j665♦6@ùD4F|V*û$qAwr♦BÿêÆï#'projections extrapolated Äò¶à↔ÿä♂♂/5épqM7 data gathered on the anomaly over time, SCP-ℸp♡9 will reach the city of Kenosha, Wisconsin by 2033.4

Threat Entity Database Entry

Threat ID:

KTE-6561-Black5 "Fenrir Unbound"

Authorized Response Level:

3 (Moderate Threat)

Description:

KTE-6561-Black is a humanoid threat entity, true age 7000±4000 years based on carbon dating of related artifacts. Apparent age unknown. Subject is approximately 2.1 m tall, weight unknown but assumed to be ~125 kg. Subject's head appears to be caniform. Subject's physical capabilities unknown, but understood to be significantly in excess of human norms, based on archaeological and anthropological evidence and repeated evasion of Coalition threat response teams.

KTE-6561-Black appears to control a Parallax-Type anomaly (hereafter KTE-6561-Parallax Blackchild) located within Lake Michigan, capable of concealing its exact location from both conventional and VERITAS Resonance Imagery. Furthermore, the anomaly is able to prohibit unwanted intrusion into KTE-6561-Parallax Blackchild.

Subject's psychological profile is incomplete, as no GOC agent has achieved contact with KTE-6561-Black. Extant messages from Subject indicate significant enmity for the United States of America. It has been determined from archaeological and anthropological investigation that Subject has a historical tendency to seek physical conflict and strife. Therefore, its avoidance of GOC personnel is unexplained. Subject accumulates followers and draws them to the location of KTE-6561-Parallax Blackchild for currently undetermined purposes, presumed to be worship either for sustenance as a pistisphage or psychological reasons.

Approximately 25% of suspected followers of KTE-6561-Black have active warrants out for their arrest for crimes, ranging from illegal gathering, to assault of an officer of the law, to desertion. Approximately 50% of suspected followers of KTE-6561-Black were unemployed prior to disappearance, suggesting that Subject attracts those unable to integrate into society, deliberately or otherwise. It has been learned through interviews with the associates of affected individuals that individuals drawn towards KTE-6561-Parallax Blackchild are significantly more likely than the general population to express a religious belief.

Rules of Engagement:

Given that KTE-6561-Black is unreachable so long as it remains inside KTE-6561-Parallax Blackchild, the first priority in engaging it is to find means to circumvent or eliminate KTE-6561-Parallax Blackchild. To that end, extensive monitoring is maintained around the area of the anomaly, utilizing radar, sonar, satellite imaging, manual patrols, and any other method determined to potentially reveal a usable entrance into KTE-6561-Parallax Blackchild. Archaeological and anthropological efforts to further determine the capabilities of KTE-6561-Black and the origin of KTE-6561-Parallax Blackchild are ongoing. In anticipation of the event that KTE-6561-Black is ever detected leaving the perimeter of KTE-6561-Parallax Blackchild, an active strike team is posted at the Calvary Facility in Kenosha, WI at all times, and is rotated out bimonthly.

History:

The earliest known archaeological evidence for the existence of KTE-6561-Black is at the site of Göbekli Tepe in southeastern Anatolia. Using Etheric Resonance Imaging technology on one of the terrazzo floors of the third layer of the archaeological site, the words <CLASSIFIED LEVEL Q BY ORDER OF GOC HIGH COMMAND>6 can be found written, several thousand years before the first phonetic alphabet was developed, let alone the English language. If this can be relied on as evidence, this indicates that KTE-6561-Black has been active since at least 8800 BCE.

The second suspected historical mention of KTE-6561-Black known is on an Akkadian-language cuneiform tablet originally recovered in the Golestan province of Iran by the Office for the Reclamation of Islamic Artifacts, photographed and faxed to the Calvary Facility as part of a trans-organizational collaborative effort to understand KTE-6561-Black.7 The tablet, carbon dated to ~1000 BCE, details the arrival of a warrior with the head of an animal from north of the Caspian Sea who produced "small white sheets" and its war against what appears to have been a Sarkic cult. The tablet describes KTE-6561-Black in brutal terms, referring to its acts of "scourging the land such that no living thing might grow." Access to a transcript of the tablet is available on request from authorized personnel.8

Possible references to KTE-6561-Black recur throughout history in a variety of locations throughout Eurasia. Because a majority of these possible references offer no immediate insight as to Subject's age, abilities, or psychology, a majority are not included in this report. When taken as a whole, there can be noted a considerable correlation between documented appearances of KTE-6561-Black and the collapse of governments. An extensive archive of these references can be found at the GOC Calvary Facility.

The first contact between KTE-6561-Black and the GOC occurred on 1997-06-17 in unincorporated area of Arizona, where campers had reported extensive sightings of a "coyote with a human body." Assessment Team 723 was deployed to verify these reports and was able to locate the entity described. However, KTE-6561-Black was able to destroy all footage recorded by Assessment Team 723 while they were distracted by a vehicle malfunction. Assessment Team 723 reported KTE-6561-Black "laughing really fucking hard somewhere out of sight for like half an hour" while they waited for extraction. No further sightings of KTE-6561-Black were reported in the area subsequent to this event.

Several additional encounters between the GOC and KTE-6561-Black occurred over the next two decades, taking place across a wide range of locations in North America, the most recent of which, prior to KTE-6561-Black relocating to KTE-6561-Parallax Blackchild, occurred on 2016-2-12. Subject's relocation to KTE-6561-Parallax Blackchild is thought to have occurred on 2016-3-15, following reports of a creature fitting Subject's description stealing 9 a speedboat in Kenosha, WI. Coalition response teams were mobilized, confirmed a sighting of KTE-6561-Blackchild sailing across Lake Michigan, and were assembling mobile anti-watercraft artillery to confront Subject at the moment that both it and its watercraft appeared to vanish into thin air, leading to Coalition discovery of KTE-6561-Parallax Blackchild.

KTE-6561-Black has not been spotted away from the location of KTE-6561-Blackchild since that date, though various handwritten messages (apparently) from Subject are occasionally received at the Calvary facility in Kenosha, WI., mostly concerning (declined) requests that operations at the Calvary facility be brought to an immediate halt. On 2017-10-18, the Calvary facility received a letter from Subject requesting a specific officer posted at the Calvary facility visit the area of KTE-6561-Parallax Blackchild for a period of one lunar month, text below:

Salutations, Calvary facility.

I, the creature you have held under siege at the island fortress in Lake Michigan for the past year, seven months, and four days, have a new request for my captors. I would like to invite the requisitions officer, Sergeant Silvanus10 Ayers, to visit my encampment and see what goes on there, for a period beginning with the approaching new moon to the rise of the next. No surveillance equipment or weaponry is permitted to the island under any circumstances. Sergeant Ayers will, however, of course, be permitted to compile as many handwritten reports as he should desire regarding whatever he should see fit, if he should choose to attend.

Sincerely,

Note: While messages from KTE-6561-Black appear handwritten to forensic analysis, no usable genetic material has been extracted from any message received so far.

Given the dire need for intelligence regarding KTE-6561-Black and KTE-6561-Parallax Blackchild, the Coalition has elected to send Sergeant Silvanus11 Ayers to survey the area of KTE-6561-Parallax Blackchild, and the Sergeant has agreed to accept the risks associated with that assignment. This document is awaiting revision following analysis of the reports to be received upon the return of Sergeant Ayers.

The following are excerpts from a series of never-filed reports from former Global Occult Coalition enlisted member Silas Ayers, also known as greenmanwalking. Much of the content of these reports, including entire entries, have been removed for irrelevance to our purposes or privacy reasons. It is the belief of this archivist that the remainder of the content of these reports requires minimal commentary to convey the reason for their inclusion in this document.

Excerpt from Report One, 2017-10-19

Excerpt from Report One, 2017-10-19

I've been personally invited into the enemy camp, apparently. I'm not sure how field operatives organize these. I'll do my best.

[…]

End log.

Excerpts from Report Two, 2017-10-19

Excerpts from Report Two, 2017-10-19

When the boat entered 6561, the helmsman disappeared and I was alone. I know how to drive a speedboat. I don't know how to drive a speedboat from the back seat. Speedboat totaled. I sustained only superficial injuries.

[…]

Before they would let me enter the camp officially, they cleaned all my scratches from the crash and they gave me new clothes to wear. All in my size. All in my style. Thoughtful, albeit troubling. They told me there was going to be a feast in my honor and, while their dress code is rugged, they had clearly all made some effort to impress.

[…]

KTE-6561-Parallax Blackchild is a strange place. Even once you're inside it, pieces of the world seem to materialize out of nowhere. The encampment that KTE-6561-Black is settled in is easy to miss if you don't know where to go; the tents and fire pits and people all seem to appear as if coming out of a fog that isn't there. It doesn't feel there's anything obscuring them before they appear, they just… arrive? Difficult to explain. It appears there are multiple layers of protection involved in the anomaly.

[…]

Nobody was eating, not yet, but food was laid out as a banquet in the woods. The entire thing was improvised, slipshod, and more than a little beautiful; they built their feast table by pushing together as many flat surfaces as they could find. I admired it, and I measured it carefully with my eyes. They don't have many tables. They can't produce them here, and shipments are clearly difficult. Was this feast supposed to show me their abundance or their poverty? Was there a difference?

Just at the moment I finished taking in the banquet in front of me, a rough voice called out to me from beyond the clearing. It cut with its clarity, but conjured to mind barking junkyard dogs, snarling wolves, yipping coyotes. I suppose I expected KTE-6561-Black to sound like that. I didn't expect it to sound so warm.

"Silvanus12 Ayers!" it said, "I am honored that you accepted my invitation to see our island. I hope that your guestfeast meets with your expectations." It began to approach closer. It slowly became clear to me just how tall 2.1 meters really is. It also slowly became clear to me just how large the teeth of a wolf are, up close. More pertinently, I noted that KTE-6561-Black appears entirely human from the shoulders on down, with dark, olive-toned skin, a flat chest, extensive scar tissue, and well-developed upper body muscles. I also noted that KTE-6561-Black was not wearing a shirt. All it wore was some kind of skirt-and-sash combination and two golden arm bracers. I imagined this might have constituted formal clothing some five thousand years ago.

Unsure how to proceed, I replied, "You honor me, though I do not know why you chose me to receive this gift." Nervous as I was, the words seemed to slip out naturally. Maybe it was the pageantry of the place; maybe it was the atmosphere KTE-6561-Black carried with it. Possibly, there was no distinction between those. You may have already noticed it bleeding into my reports. I'll try to control it.

It sat me beside it, when I'd been expecting to be placed at the foot of the table. It talked my ears off for hours, while we ate and after we'd eaten our fill. It seemed to be fully omnivorous, and ate approximately as much food as a proportionate human. Most of what it had to say was nonsense about wars it had fought in that I never heard of (many of which I was unable to later look up) or places that it had been that I had never heard of (many of which I was also unable to later look up). I'm recording as many as I can remember, but I don't know how useful they will be.

[…]

It kept talking my ear off even as the party broke up. It liked when I asked it things it wanted to answer, but otherwise it just smiled and reassured me there would be answers in due time. Answers of its age, origins, abilities. So, I quieted myself and nodded, and let it keep talking about whatever was on its mind, hoping that at some point it would tell me something useful.

After most of the feast attendees had left and the table was cleared, I sat next to it by a bonfire. There was a long period of silence after we sat down. I suppose even after watching it eat its fill, I was still afraid what those teeth could do to me if I offended when we were alone. So I waited for it to speak.

And it said to me, "You know, I really like Jock Jams Vol. 6."

It didn't expand on this. We sat in silence for several minutes, and then it told me it was time we should both be sleeping.

Cursory research has indicated to me that Jock Jams was a series of work-out albums released by Tommy Boy Records in the mid to late 90s, numbered one through five. There is no Jock Jams Vol. 6. In 2001, an album called Jock Jams: The All Star Jock Jams was released, peaking at 188 in the charts. The next lowest peak is Jock Jams Vol. 5, at 51. The track listing for All Star Jock Jams appears unexceptional.

I am unable to discern what it meant."13

[…]

End log.

Excerpts from Report Three, 2017-10-20

Excerpts from Report Three, 2017-10-20

Day two inside KTE-6561-Parallax Blackchild. I woke to backlit tent-canvas, sound of laughter. and the sizzle of something on a griddle, which I took to indicate that at some point I slept. Useful information. I shared breakfast with my tent-neighbors, who consented to be interviewed.

I asked them first how they got there; what brings, and what keeps, a person to and in KTE-6561-Parallax Blackchild. Their answers were mostly the same, and what I expected from reading the GOC reports. Most of them claimed to have nowhere else to go; arrest warrants, gangs, domestic abuse, political activism that drew the wrong attention, et cetera.

One had more to say, however: "He brings people here. Like, when you don't know where to go, you can hear him, smell him, feel him. You follow that until you get here. I don't know how he knows, but he does. Maybe not for you all, but he did that for me."

Is that KTE-6561-Black's power? He brings people towards him? For what?

After hearing them all out, I made a joke along the lines of, "evidently, people who are being hunted are drawn to a man with the head of a wolf." They did not like that at all.

I switched tracks to questioning I thought I'd get a more unified answer to: "What are you all doing here, then, other than hiding?" A cacophony exploded all around me. Virtually everybody had a different answer, and they weren't brief.

[…]

"When I got here, there weren't any showers yet. We still don't have hot water, but I built a working system from scrap. Pressure isn't much, but the pipes are clean and sturdy. I could swear, I'd forgotten I knew how to do things like that."

[…]

"First time I saw the big guy, I thought I was looking at the light of God hisself. Salvation. I thought he was going to teach me all about right and wrong and justice and charity and Jesus. But… he didn't really do any of that. He found a Bible nobody was using, and he gave me that. I swear, I read that whole book cover to cover without stopping to eat or sleep or piss. First time I've done that with any book my whole life. Didn't ever think I could. We didn't… don't… have a church here, not properly 'least, but I've been preaching from that bible in a clearing outside the camp every Sunday since. The big guy even comes, sometimes."

[…]

"I feed everyone. I fed you. Last night. This morning. Everyone. Food is slim sometimes. I find a way. If you eat it on the island and I didn't cook it, I likely trained the person who did. I used to be a line cook. Now I'm this."

[…]

"Honestly? I dig holes. I wasn't anything before I was here. I mean, I can pick a guy's pocket, I can talk my way into a house, things like that. But they don't want that here. Frankly, I didn't know what to do with myself until a week in. Somebody was walking the roads hollering, 'We need volunteers to help dig trenches so nothing floods,' and I picked up a shovel. Next time it rained, not one tent got wet inside. The camp kept getting bigger, and I kept digging. Gives me time to think about shit other than the times some day's country club member's wife got home."

[…]

All of them seemed to, more or less, detail things which benefited the community at large. Could this be an effect of KTE-6561-Black? I'm not sure, and I don't think so. I think it's more that they can't afford to be very selfish. They're essentially trying to develop a functioning, livable environment from scratch.

End log.

Excerpts from Report Five, 2017-10-22

Excerpts from Report Five, 2017-10-22

I decided to visit KTE-6561-Black again. To try to understand. Everyone else on this entire island is working, day in, day out, and I'm still not clear what it does here except smile benevolently at the workers.

I entered its tent. It was dressed only in cargo shorts, aside from wearing the face of a fox almost as big as the wolf it wore the first night. It spoke first. As soon as it saw me, it said my name like it had before. "Silvanus Ayers!" Warmth. Exuberance. Delight. As if it was pleasantly surprised to see me. I told it that everybody else I know calls me Silas, and it asked if that meant I would prefer it call me Silas, too. I don't know why, but I didn't know how to answer.

I moved on to the subject I came to discuss. "What do you do here?" I said, "aside from wander and gossip?" That was all I had seen it do since the feast.

It smiled at me. Wide. Sharp. "When I speak to the people of the island, I am doing as you do, only for different reasons."

"What?" I said flatly.

"What have you been doing since you came?" it said.

"I'm researching an unknown threat to my organization, to find out how best to confront it," I said.

"Succinct," it said.

It looked that way when sometimes you see a picture of a fox and it's just a fox but you swear it thinks it knows something you don't.

Infuriating.

However, I kept cool. I asked it, "Would you mind if I accompanied you this afternoon, to understand better what you mean?"

It laughed longer than something without a human mouth should be able to laugh. Then it agreed.

[…]

It's brought me across all the island, twice. Everyone it talked to had some kind of problem with what they were doing, and it would just put his hand on their shoulders, look them in the eye, and tell them they would work things out. And every one of them seemed to believe it. Several of the problems were rooted in logistical errors and couldn't possibly be improvised around without appropriate materiel. They still believed.

[…]

Back at its tent, it said to me, "do you understand now what I do here, Silvanus Ayers?"

Back at its tent, I said to it, "no."

End log.

Excerpts from Report Seven, 2017-10-24

Excerpts from Report Seven, 2017-10-24.

[…]

Today, I tried to ask the islanders what exactly they planned to do, when [if ever] they return home. Answers included:

"I'd like to get certified as a substitute teacher."

"I think I'd like to work in a food kitchen, honestly. Pass on the good."

"I just really want to punch a Nazi as soon as I can leave."14

"Yeah. I'd like to punch a Nazi too. Longer term, I'd like to… Well, I'd like to be a medic at demonstrations."

"I learned enough here to be certified as an electrician, at least according to the one we have. I'll do that once she has some more apprentices to help out here."

"Aren't you basically a cop? I'm not telling."

[…]

Almost everyone I asked had some plans of radical nature. Overwhelmingly, the populace is negative towards the American government, capitalism, and "the military-industrial complex both sustaining and feeding on those two evils."

Despite this, it's important to note that this is by no means an army. Every person I met had their own plans, just like everything is done on this island. There's no central authority, and furthermore I don't see KTE-6561-Black ever talk to them much, let alone brainwash them.

I admit it's an assumption, but if I were to guess, this isn't its effect. Everything points to them having already had these viewpoints. If anything, all this island does is make them able to act on them.

[…]

End log.

Excerpts from Report Eight, 2017-10-25

Excerpts from Report Eight, 2017-10-25

[…]

Today, I was tired of asking the same questions to the same people. So, I asked KTE-6561-Black if there was anyone else I could talk to about what was going on here. Anyone I hadn't met yet. It said yes.

It brought me to tent not far from its own, with nothing of note in it except for a laptop computer. When it turned it on, it loaded directly to a full-screened chat client I couldn't identify, and displayed no other clear functions. And then I, we, talked. It let me print out a transcript.

The_Throne_of_the_Third_Heaven_of_the_Nations'_Millennium_General_Assembly: Salutations, assembled members of Gamers Against Weed.

hetcopogg: holy shit dude.

hetcopogg: why are you still using that display name?

The_Throne_of_the_Third_Heaven_of_the_Nations'_Millennium_General_Assembly: I have brought Sergeant Ayers, as requested. I will be surrendering this terminal to him presently.

gaycopmp4: i have literally no idea how he even set it to be that long

The_Throne_of_the_Third_Heaven_of_the_Nations'_Millennium_General_Assembly: I was instructed to 'just pick something you like.' I followed those instructions.

The_Throne_of_the_Third_Heaven_of_the_Nations'_Millennium_General_Assembly has changed their nickname to greenmanwalking

greenmanwalking: Uh.

greenmanwalking: Hey.

greenmanwalking: So, I have a lot of questions.

lesbian_gengar: oh, we know.

lesbian_gengar: but our questions come first.

lesbian_gengar: first of all, why did he even invite you in there?

greenmanwalking: That was actually the first question I had for you.

hetcopogg: honestly,

hetcopogg: i buy that.

hetcopogg: i think he's just kind of like a dog, and does things arbitrarily.

polaricecraps: but like more

hetcopogg: yes.

greenmanwalking: Was there a second question?

lesbian_gengar: yeah, what do you want? why did you go there?

greenmanwalking: Reconnaissance. I don't know if it plans to eat me or what, but if it actually lets me go, my superiors want a report about what I saw here. I'm under orders not to perform any hostile actions against the KTE for the duration of this mission.

lesbian_gengar: so, he just invited a spy to the island, on purpose?

greenmanwalking: I think so.

harmpit: that prtety muc hchecks out

gaycopmp4: yeah

hetcopogg: yeah.

polaricecraps: yeah

fallout_meta.txt: yeah

lesbian_gengar: fine.

greenmanwalking: Is there another question?

lesbian_gengar: are you under any other orders?

greenmanwalking: Aside from basic information security? Not really. I'm not going to give you our reports on the KTE, or anything, though.151617

greenmanwalking: Next?

lesbian_gengar: you can take a turn, now.

greenmanwalking: Is there a specific reason your organization is involved with KTE-6561-Black? What do you do for it? What does it do for you? What does it do?

lesbian_gengar: that's four turns.

hetcopogg: he's family.

greenmanwalking: Are you saying it's somebody's father, or something?

fallout_meta.txt: I mean, not as far as we know, no.

lesbian_gengar: 'not as far as we know'?

fallout_meta.txt: I don't know. It's old, and I don't know how it works. You can never tell.

greenmanwalking: Okay. But what does it get by having you around, and what do you need him for?

lesbian_gengar: nope. that's all you get for now. try asking him.

Then, the laptop shut down on its own. I assume it was exclusively for dramatic effect, since 6561 gave me this transcript later.

Anyway, KTE-6561-Black was waiting outside the tent for me to be done. "I think they liked you," it said. I could not gauge its sincerity. We walked back uphill to its tent. Nobody else was there.

I asked it the obvious question. "Why are you working with the Reefers18?"

It replied, "why do you seek shelter in the night?"

I was taken aback. Again, I could not tell if it was serious. I replied, "you very well know why. If I didn't, I would die. Be it from the elements or other people."

It nodded, then asked, "why do you drink water?"

I put my palms to my temples and replied, "I need to, or I would die. Do you not need that? Do you truly not know?"

It nodded once more before saying, "So too do I need protection from the world, and so too do I need refreshment. Organizations like yours choke the life out of miracles like mine. Yours, with bullets. The other, with boxes. I will wither away even faster than they think. Now, in times of hardship, when you find yourself at end, what do you do?"

It was leading me on, but I couldn't stop just because of that. "I think." I paused. "And if I need, I ask a friend's aid."

It nodded a third time. "Your kind, the kind of your organization, are forming alliances, reaching out across the globe, making or taking friendships by turns. I do not wish to die. So I sought aid." Its face looked earthy, narrow, almost like a coyote.

"But why the Reefers? Why not the Serpent's Hand or something? They already protect things like you on principle," I said.

It looked at me with a serious gaze, pausing a moment before replying. "If you were to find a berry in the woods, would you eat it? If you were to find a stream, would you drink of it? The Librarians, and their kind, are like you. Hands without body. There is no Serpent. They act to preserve anything magic as if that word meant anything. As if because something is made of magic, it is worth saving. There is no mind behind their motions. Like you. I have older enemies than your organization. The Librarians draw no line between us. Like you."

I'm not saying it convinced me it was right in half a minute of speaking, but that wasn't quite the perspective I expected.

I guess that's notable. "But why the Reefers?" I repeated.

"Why indeed?"

[…]

End log.

Excerpts from Report Ten, 2017-10-27

Excerpts from Report Ten, 2017-10-27

I spent all of morning and all of the lunch period interviewing people I haven't spoken to before. Anyone I could find. I wasn't going to ask them about themselves or the island or the space hiding it. I needed to know about KTE-6561-Black. I needed to know what it did and where it came from.

But the people in this place are infuriating. I ask them, "What does the wolf guy do?" and they tell me "nothing," "he's kind of like a village elder," "dog stuff," "he just kind of chills, I think, and then you chill with him and you're chill together."

I watched them work while we spoke. They were talented. Nothing on this island seemed definitively Occult except KTE-6561-Black and KTE-6561-Parallax Blackchild, but I don't think anyone could have said they weren't gifted. Even if half of them were working on hopeless projects. I watched clever hands and clever minds fail to achieve their goals because they don't have the tools or supplies they need. Sometimes it looked like they didn't even know what they were missing. I always did, but I always kept quiet, because telling them would be treason.19

But it's meaningless to me, it doesn't make sense. It's not building an army. They're, it's, not building anything. It hardly ever gives out orders except to curtail violence in the camp. Every person here is just acting on their own. Nobody gets paid anything, but nobody does anything they don't want to, either. Does it attract a specific kind of person? What's the common thread? And how did it produce KTE-6561-Parallax Blackchild if that's all it is?

I saw it by chance, sitting outside his tent, just waiting there in its ridiculous giant loincloth and nothing else in October outfit20. It wasn't doing anything. It squinted at me with greyhound eyes, unspeaking, sweat glistening everywhere below its head.

I couldn't even bring myself to go up to him. I only walked past without a word. I had to go think, for once.

[…]

I've been trying to work out what kind of effect this place is having on me. What talking to that wolf in human's clothing is doing to me. I can't tell. I don't feel how I did when I was at home. I keep remembering wanting things. Things for my life. Things for the world. Things I forgot were important to me. I like cooking for other people. I like watching things grow. When I was a kid in Ohio, I liked looking at all the carvings in the cathedral my family went to. I loved the gargoyles, the grotesques, the green men, the saints. I loved wondering what they would really be like if I met them. I don't know if the KTE is doing something to my thoughts or not. I'm not trained for this.

I'm not sure I like working in an armory.

[…]

End log.

Report Eleven, in Full, 2017-10-28

Report Eleven, in Full, 2017-10-28

I went to go find KTE-6561-Black first thing this morning. I woke up well before the sun. It woke up well before that. It was just sitting cross-legged in front of its tent, waiting for me. Its head was dark. Long-nosed. High-eared. If it had a scale, I'd almost believe it was waiting there to weigh my heart.

It didn't speak first this time. It didn't shout my name, or smile, or rise to meet me. So this time I started. I said, "I will not leave until you tell me why you are working for the Reefers."

"Why do you seek still? What do you think you will find?" it said. It didn't have an expression. Not even the weird dog kind it usually had.

I felt tired. I had been here eleven days doing nothing but looking for information about it. I felt too tired not to play its game. "Answers," I said.

"You have answers." it said, as if I didn't already expect that.

But then it said, "I have yet questions to give. Yet have I one for now: What happens if you find the answer you seek?"

"Then I move forward," I said. It was a simple answer. Intuitive.

Its ear twitched. That was the first expression I got from the conversation. I waited to find out if I gave the right answer or not. Perhaps it didn't have a scale, but for a moment I certainly believed I might not walk away from this with an undevoured heart.

It opened its eyes, looking into mine. Into my soul. My heart. Beating. I couldn't count its beats. The moment enveloped, and then it closed its eyes once more.

"Very well." It reached for its left arm bracer and removed it. There was a tattoo underneath it, but it quickly passed out of view. I felt ill. It felt wrong. Something was wrong. It slipped a paper card out and handed it to me.

Holy Heck! You've just found yourself your very own Mr. Destiny by Gamers Against Weed! You are about to be asked a very important question. Who are you?

Collect them all and become Mr. Gamer!

01. Mr. Literal Serial Killer

02. Mr. Normie

03. Mr. Bernie Sanders

04. Mr. Get Anything For Free In Any Shop

20. Mr. Sex Number

21. Mr. Heavenly Virtues

22. Mr. Deadly Sins

23. Mr. Original Character

24. Mr. D.A.R.E.

25. Mrs. Gentrification

26. Ms. Mad About Video Games

27. Mr. Meme

28. Mr. Ominous (discontinued)

29. Mr. Destiny ✔

30. Mr. Monty Python And The Holy Grail

31. Ms. Zapatista

32. Mr. Hax

33. Mr. Just Has The Tattoo

34. Mr. Top Text and Mr. Bottom Text

35. Mr. Finale

I felt like I'd just been handed a joke. This is what they meant when they called each other family? KTE-6561-Black is just one of the Reefers' asinine little prank men? What was its trick? I clutched my hands to my head, breathing labored. What was its trick, and did I fall for it?

I was under no doubt I was losing my composure. I wasn't trained to keep my composure. I hated it. I slowly moved my hands to the dirt, pushing against it as I tried calming my breath, and looked up at KTE-6561-Black.

"So. When are you going to do something weird to a computer? When are you going to dazzle LiveJournal with my story?" I said.

This was how KTE-6561-Black looked at me: not as a fox, or a coyote, or a wolf. It looked like my neighbor's border terrier from when I was fourteen. It looked like she looked the last, second-to-last time I ever saw her. It was the same face both times. The second-to-last time, I was mad at my parents and my neighbor let me stay the night at his house. She was was full of energy all of the time; loved to play. I spent that whole night crying on my neighbor's couch and she spent the whole night calmly in my lap giving me this serious, concerned look. This look like she knew exactly what I was going through. Like she always had, and always would. She got me through that night looking for all the world to me that she would live on forever. And then a week later she… didn't. I just had my fifteenth birthday and gotten my learner's permit. My father took me on a drive around the block. She ran out into the road after something, I think. I hit her. She wasn't okay. My dad told everyone he was driving at the time so I wouldn't have to look our neighbor in the eye and tell him the truth. I watched her die and she gave me that same look the whole time. I could feel how young she was for a dog; that she should have lived another dozen years at least. That was how KTE-6561-Black looked at me. I could feel how old it was. I could feel how alive it was.

It told me, "I have two very important things to give you, Silvanus Ayers. Both answers. First; I do not do a trick with a computer. I am the thing that lives in your heart that pushes you forward when you have to do something you don't know how to do."

I think I wanted to believe him, just then.

"Second;" it said, "my sources tell me LiveJournal has been out of common use for a great deal of time."

I… laughed. I'm not sure I'm allowed to do that while representing the GOC in front of a KTE. I tried to stop myself and it made it worse. It started laughing with me, and that made it even worse. I hunched over. It did too. I leaned into it for support, like I would if I was laughing with someone I knew really well. My brother or my father or my neighbor with the dog. It felt like I was with someone like that.

I don't know why I felt like that. I left immediately after coming down. I took the paper with me back to my own tent, down the hill. I stayed there for hours, not sleeping, not reading, not listening. I was angry at myself, I am. I had other questions, and I forgot them like a fool. In exchange for laughter. I was not, am not prepared to be the kind of GOC soldier who makes friends with KTEs. There is a trick somewhere. I just have to find it.

End log.

Report Twelve, in Full, 2017-10-29

Report Twelve, in Full, 2017-10-29

The next time I left my tent was morning. There was a laptop sitting outside, facing my tent's flap. I opened it up. I was already logged in to whatever chat client the Reefers use. I had a message.

hetcopogg: hey

hetcopogg: the others don't want me to do this but i want to talk to you about the big guy.

hetcopogg: i was the first one to meet him. he walked right into my dorm room. we were supposed to be summoning him, but i thought he'd just… appear. he walked in through my door instead.

hetcopogg: some of the others have met him in person, but i'm the one who spent the most time with him. i had to get him all the way from ohio to wisconsin in my car. something about easily-foldable space. we had to hide him. it had to be me who brought him because i'm normal. i don't know how it works.

greenmanwalking: So?

hetcopogg: we talked a lot in the car. he told me stories about killing a flesh demon. i talked to him about my mom; how i want to see her more in case something happens like with my roommate's mom. he talked to me about how he had an immortal blood brother who was trapped forever in a stone circle that he missed too.

hetcopogg: i told him about how i made another one of him, once. i told him about how she calls me her mother and i love her but she's almost as old as i am and i'm not ready to be a mother, like, the normal way. he told me that when he killed that flesh demon, there were dozens, hundreds of people who worshiped it who had nowhere to go now. he said they were going to die if that demon was still alive, but he still took away everything they had. some of them were angry at him. a lot of them made him their new god. he told me you can't really control how other people think of you or what that makes you become. he said he stayed with them until they learned how to write their own faith. he didn't tell them he was a god, or a demon, or a hero. he just stayed there. that helped.

hetcopogg: i talked to him about how i was thinking of changing majors because i don't know what i really want to do when i'm like, a real grown-up. there's so many important things out there. he told me that every day he used to run across the sky chasing the sun from dawn to dusk so that the days would pass. he said he hunted the sun day after day for times beyond counting. he told me one day he stopped, and the sun found another way to move across the sky.

hetcopogg: he told me that as long as you're doing the right that you can, you just have to have faith that others will too.

hetcopogg: i think i believe him.

hetcopogg: i think you should believe him, too.

greenmanwalking: I'll take it under advisement.

I closed the laptop. I took a walk. I didn't come back for a long time.

End log.

Excerpts from Report Thirteen, 2017-10-30

Excerpts from Report Thirteen, 2017-10-30

Time to talk to KTE-6561-Black again. Put it off too long. Silly. A few minutes talking to some stranger on a laptop and I spend the rest of the day sulking alone in the forest. I'm not sixteen any more. In fact, according to KTE-6561-Black, Livejournal is dead and it can't hurt me now.

Fuck. I'm going to find whiteout for that. I'm going to find fucking chemical bleach. I'm.

I can't write how I'm supposed to. Maybe I will again when I come home to Calvary.

[…]

"Look, even if they're your family, even if they made you, why wouldn't you line yourself up with the Librarians? The… whoever-the-fuck labs. Someone bigger than the Reefers21" I asked it.

"Do you ponder why blood, not sand, runs through your veins? In that way, they are unlike you. They have minds, governing bodies. You have… hierarchy, rules, structures, principles, protocols. You move on orders set in stone decades ago. They are alive. You may bleed, but as sand too flows, you are not living in the hours you spend in their fortress. The Librarians are the same. They could have carved this space into the shape I needed, too, or I could have just hid in their Library. It would have been much easier than the process we went through to secure this place, and it would not have been unpleasant; anything my age visits their bleak Library sooner or later, and I have enjoyed some afternoons reading in between the worlds. Everything would be just so, and I would be master of my dominion, and in that moment I would fall over dead. The Librarians would send me readers. Endless readers. Sorcerers. Magicians. Rippers of reality. Twisters of time. Still-mortal aspirants. Those who want to know all of the knowledge there is in each of all of the worlds there are. Some of them could even find it. It would be easier for them if I helped."

"And this would kill you?" I said.

"As suffocation would you. This would destroy everything I am. They would do nothing with that knowledge, or else live as gods. They would not contribute to history. I would slowly choke myself breathing their rarefied air. Gamers Against Weed, despite their ill-chosen name, send to me refugees, convicts, political dissidents, religious pilgrims. These people do not come for me to make them powerful. They come to me because they want to change who they are and the world they live in, or else they come to be safe. I respect both motives. History has always belonged to those driven by these needs, and I have survived this long by believing in the flow of time." it said.

"The young will teach the calcified to live again, or else bury them. And besides, these ones are family, and I have waited for a very long time to meet my family," it added.

Here is an easy trick if you want to gain the upper hand in a conversation: rehearse exactly what you want to say beforehand to somebody with vastly less complete knowledge than yours. It is overwhelming and nearly impossible to respond to. KTE-6561-Black knows this trick.

I thought about my answer for a few minutes. I stood there in front of him, quiet, trying to find the words. Eventually, I just walked away. It didn't follow me.

Report Fourteen, in Full, 2017-10-31

Report Fourteen, in Full, 2017-10-31

I've walked all over this island. Kenowhere. They call it Kenowhere. They don't call it KTE-6561-Parallax Blackchild. I've spoken to everyone I can find. Interrogated them. Looking for discrepancies. Signs these people don't want to be here, or wouldn't want to if they knew what was going on. Looking for a conspiracy. Avoiding KTE-6561-Black. Mr. Destiny.

I noticed a lot of things. I noticed there's not enough food around to celebrate Halloween with candy. I noticed some of the people here were children. I noticed maybe one tent in five was sufficient for winter use. I noticed their diesel is already low. I noticed they have maybe a quarter as many jackets and blankets in their communal storage as they have residents. I noticed that that really bothered me.

I haven't found anything incriminating. I could detail it. I could write logs of every interview I conducted, every stone I turned over, but I don't think it would matter any more. One of the men who spoke to me told me that without Kenowhere, he'd be dead. I already knew that was true for many residents. Almost everyone came here to escape something. He told me that wasn't what he meant. He told me that making sure it didn't disappear was what he worked towards, that if Camp Kenowhere disappeared tomorrow, he would be dead. I don't think he's wrong. I don't think he's the only one.

I don't think a lot of things I thought when this month started.

End log.

Report Fifteen, in Full, 2017-11-1

Report Fifteen, in Full, 2017-11-1

I suppose I should keep this going for consistency's sake, if nothing else. I'm walking up to Destiny's tent. This time, I know what I'm going to say before I get there. It's not going to be long, but I think he'll like it.

I enter the tent. He looks at me, waits for me to speak first again. "I don't need you," I say to him.

"I have a life, a job, a family. My life has meaning and I wasn't about to lose any of those things when I came here," I say.

"Correct," he says.

"You need me, though," I say.

"Correct," he says.

End log.

Mr. Destiny is an extraordinary member of the Misters Against Weed, created by Gamers Against Weed members harmpit, jockjamsvol6, polaricecraps, fallout_meta.txt, and hetcopogg, on the eleventh day of January, 2016, but estimated to have retroactively existed prior to this event for a period of at least 13,000 years. This was unintentional. Additionally to possessing apparent immortality, extreme physical aptitude, and an inconsistently-described canid head on its shoulders, and a tattoo on its outer right thigh reading MR. DESTINY, BY GAMERS AGAINST WEED, it has the ability to influence other intelligences towards paths in life that they display a high aptitude for, or are able to achieve a great deal of influence in. According to its own claims, it can only 'push' people to live up to their higher impulses. It claims to be able to see what these are, to some degree. It claims to wish to see all persons live up to their highest potential. The following is an interview with Mr. Destiny's creators regarding their process.

bones: Begin interview.

polaricecraps: what, just like that? you're supposed to ask a question, big guy

fallout_meta.txt: It's obvious, isn't it? We explain what our idea was. JJ should start us off.

jockjamsvol6: I see some things as a founding member that bother me, sometimes. Not as many as you see, bones, because I can't read all of it, but a lot of the people who come to us aren't really happy. A lot of them basically have superpowers and they still aren't happy. Their lives aren't easy; usually because someone else is making it hard. I think we help make their lives a little happier, at least, and I like that, but sometimes it's like they don't even know how to be happy, you know? That's one of the things that bothers me.

jockjamsvol6: It's not like I feel guilty for being how I am, or like I want penance for being lucky, but I wanted to see if we could use my magic in a Mister somehow, but like, spread it. I wanted to see if we could make something that would share what it's like to be me. So people could see not everything has to be hard. Not everything has to hurt. I wanted to use the Mr. Destiny name we came up with because I wanted it to be something to show people things don't have to stay how they are.

jockjamsvol6: I didn't expect we could transfer the whole effect but I thought if we used me as a blueprint to build somebody else, maybe we could change it enough to share it. Maybe even a little could be enough to change someone's point of view; maybe not make them happy, but show them what happy is. What it looks like. I started talking to pic and fallout_meta.txt about that.

polaricecraps: he talked to me about it because im awesome

fallout_meta.txt: Essentially. JJ brought me in because when he brought it up, I started thinking of how my antique-creation affects history; changes cause and effect, just a little. I thought maybe that would help.

jockjamsvol6: It sounded really smart so I invited them to a sub-chat to talk about it. We talked about it a lot without coming up with a way to do it until harmpit logged on. harmpit's rearrangement thing; that made it work. Mostly.

harmpit: itts not har dto rearrange things lik theat. we jjust needed the rright ideas. ww had them.

jockjamsvol6: Once we had everyone in place, things started to work out, mostly.

bones: Mostly?

jockjamsvol6: Well, we (and Dahlia) made the guy, but shitty things happen to him. Like, all the time. It's like our poles are reversed. Shitty things happen around him constantly. It's surreal for me to watch.22 But he's always ready for them. Like he's whoever he has to be to make the shitty thing go away instead of things outside him changing for him.

fallout_meta.txt: It's kind of like it knows what's going to happen before it does, somewhere inside. It changes its face to be whoever it needs to be.

polaricecraps: but we got the other part right

bones: How so?

polaricecraps: like, yeah, he doesn't make people lucky like jj, like how he's not lucky like jj either, but that thing he does do happens to whoever is around him, too. people change like he does when they're around him. its like when youre around him you can see through this veil into what youre supposed to be doing, and he can just see through it all the time.

fallout_meta.txt: That seems to be the reason why it's so old. Some historical data I've found suggests that when we made him, I fucked up the causality part. Unless I made it work by binding it to the only thing that worked. I'm not completely sure. I've never handled that much substance at once. We seem to have made him across all times where people were thinking about their purpose. That seems to be the thread that ties him to the world. If you could share certain data from the lower paleolithic with me, I should be able to make a confirmation.

bones: Data archiving was not my function.

polaricecraps: it is right now, isnt it?

bones: Inquiries will be made. Please continue. What were the roles of polaricecraps and hetcopogg in the creation of Mr. Destiny?

polaricecraps: i pakooshed it.

bones: 'Pakooshed' it?

polaricecraps: i sent the idea from jj to fallout boy to harmpit so they could all do their steps.

hetcopogg: they needed me there to line up the astral geometry, or something. triangulate it. they said if pic wasn't out of washington for winter in fucking Yorkshire they could have just made a square but instead i had to close the loop.

polaricecraps: so that i could pakoosh it.

hetcopogg: so that you could pakoosh it.

bones: I see. What happened after this?

hetcopogg: he walked into the little summoning circle pic had me draw in my dorm room.

bones: He walked, or he appeared?

hetcopogg: no, like, he walked in through my locked door with no shirt on and stood in a circle of salt i laid down on my carpet.

polaricecraps: i told you to lay down painter's paper or something below the salt.

bones: Unnecessary digression. Please continue, hetcopogg.

hetcopogg: we talked for a long time about how he got there, what he came for, how many girls in my dorm had seen him, who he was, who i was, and if he was dangerous. once i decided it was safe, i offered to let him sit on my bed while i called everyone else on discord to yell at them for half an hour.

jockjamsvol6: She did do this.

harmpit: yeaah

fallout_meta.txt: That is correct.

polaricecraps: yep.

jockjamsvol6: Fallout came up with the theory that trying to meddle with time too much made our guy exist across all of our time, or at least for as long as our conception of time, during that half hour. I don't think the rest of us said much except for "sorry."

harmpit: tthats' still our running theoery.

fallout_meta.txt: He's definitely very old. It's possible that creating him changed history in ways too vast to even speculate about. It's also possible that until we made him he just slid in by the cracks of what was already happening, and he's only alive now, or maybe sliding through the cracks is all he does.

bones: Do you have evidence for any of these theories to present?

fallout_meta.txt: Unfortunately, no. Either he's going to change history now, or not. We'll have a better idea at that point.

Due to existence of several organizations dealing in containing or neutralizing the supernatural, and Mr. Destiny's substantial age, it has attracted numerous enemies over time, human and otherwise. It was the determination of the organization Gamers Against Weed to protect our creation from those enemies. In order to do so, efforts were organized by members polaricecraps, gaycopmp4, fallout_meta.txt, jockjamsvol6, harmpit, and lesbian_gengar to erase an island in Lake Michigan close to the city of Kenosha, WI from history and cut off physical and sensory contact between the island and its exterior, allowing it to serve as potent hiding place. Since this time, the island, dubbed 'Kenowhere' (its original name has been lost) has become a refuge for multiple other associates of Mr. Destiny and Gamers Against Weed, establishing something of a loose community led by Mr. Destiny. Access to the island of Kenowhere can be negotiated by any member of Gamers Against Weed by petitioning jockjamsvol6, hetcopogg, or Gamers Against Weed associate, greenmanwalking, Steward and Seneschal of Kenowhere. Certain other members of Gamers Against Weed have the authority to approve access, but have not volunteered to assume that responsibility at this time. Please consult this hub immediately prior to contacting anyone regarding desired access, as the list is subject to rotation.

The following is an interview between this archivist and Mr. Destiny itself, concerning its thoughts on our association with it:

bones: Thank you for agreeing to conduct this interview.

The_Throne_of_the_Third_Heaven_of_the_Nations'_Millennium_General_Assembly: Think nothing of it.

bones: It has been requested that I advise you to change your display name to something shorter for the purposes of this interview.

The_Throne_of_the_Third_Heaven_of_the_Nations'_Millennium_General_Assembly: Your advice is well-noted.

bones: How old are you, by your own estimation?

The_Throne_of_the_Third_Heaven_of_the_Nations'_Millennium_General_Assembly: As old as the oldest word for 'fate,' I think.

bones: Would you be able to convert this estimate to into years of the Gregorian calendar?

The_Throne_of_the_Third_Heaven_of_the_Nations'_Millennium_General_Assembly: No.

bones: Why do you choose to associate so closely with the organization Gamers Against Weed? There are indications that you have a number of other powerful allies throughout the world, capable of concealing you from your enemies.

The_Throne_of_the_Third_Heaven_of_the_Nations'_Millennium_General_Assembly: Perhaps I felt that it was not enough to be protected from the world if I could not speak to it. Once I cannot speak, people will forget I am here, and then I will not be here. Perhaps I have grown sentimental in this age, and come to believe that the best protection comes from family.

The_Throne_of_the_Third_Heaven_of_the_Nations'_Millennium_General_Assembly: However, I expect that if I have become sentimental and foolish in this age, that is what I will need to be to live through it.

bones: Do you believe that your close association with Gamers Against Weed places our organization in danger, given the enemies you claim to have?

The_Throne_of_the_Third_Heaven_of_the_Nations'_Millennium_General_Assembly: It would be nicer if that were true. That would have an easier solution. You have all been in danger ever since you first met. I, too, hope to protect my family.

bones: Which dangers do you feel Gamers Against Weed is threatened by, and how do you believe you can protect it?

The_Throne_of_the_Third_Heaven_of_the_Nations'_Millennium_General_Assembly: You took a step into a wider world when you banded together as a group. Separately, maybe three or four of you are powers. They, you, would have been able to defend yourselves adequately against the things which lurk. You were merely small targets with considerable abilities. Something like what I used to be. There are dangers in becoming involved in the world, but the only predator that truly hunts your former kind — our former kind —, is loneliness. You escaped that creature. You banded together more of the outcast, the strange, the cheerless, and you made them cheerful, safe, belonging to something. You made something happy where there was nothingness. You made yourself the kind of player that the larger players notice. Because I laud your courage in this action, I wish to offer you foresight. I wish to offer you the will to act. These are what you will need to protect your group.

Knowledge of the existence of Mr. Destiny and the island of Kenowhere is under no circumstances to be released to non-members of Gamers Against Weed, even established associates, except by bluntfiend, jockjamsvol6, greenmanwalking, lesbian_gengar or with the explicit approval of one of the aforementioned. This is a very real matter of security. Do not hint that you know about this outside of secure channels. Everything in this hub is dangerous information, but as a contributing member of Gamers Against Weed, it is your right to know it.

Material Requirements, by greenmanwalking

Foreword

First thing first: not everyone on this island is an adult. I believe in this place, but the only reason I can do that is I know why each of these children are here and I know they have worse chances outside. With that said, the island isn't equipped to handle the educational needs of children, or even clothe them. Anything you want to send here should prioritize things children need, most of all.

From most to least important:

Clothing

Not many of us came here with more than one or two changes of clothes, if that, and kids grow. We need:

Any kid's clothes you can get your hands on, especially warm ones. Goose down is ideal.

Most types of textile materials. Yarn, wool, felt, cotton, silk, canvas, linen, everything. Our tailors are good, but not good enough to make something out of nothing.

Durable clothing. Every kind. Denim, flannel, leather, anything thick and sturdy.

Of these, we especially need materials more than finished clothing so that we can mend damaged items. It doesn't matter how much clothes we have if we can't wear them without busting them.

Medicine

This isn't as immediate a concern as clothing at the moment, but it's inevitably our most persistent concern. There's no way around it unless one of you can cure fevers and broken bones with magic and you want to just, live here. We'd be fine with that. We have qualified physicians, nurses, and one surgeon, but we need:

Pretty much every single medicine on the World Health Organization Lists of Essential Medicines.

Medical dressings.

Syringes and needles.

Scalpels. If you can get your hands on it, an autoclave would work wonders for us.

Medical tubing and IV bags.

Gloves (I am begging you to follow that thought you have alone in a doctor's office that says "I could take a box of gloves before anyone gets here and nobody would know." You have a reason now).

Imaging equipment. I know this one is the most difficult. Not everyone can lift an MRI machine. But if you can, we need all kinds of imaging equipment, and badly.

Antibiotic soap.

Almost anything you can think of.

Currently, there are a lot of emergencies we have no option except to send someone off-island to address, and it's a massive headache every time we have to break transit schedules. We've had no deaths so far. I intend to keep this true for as long as possible.

Energy

While we do have some capacity to produce energy by burning wood, wood gas, and some limited renewable energy sources like a small watermill. For the rest, we need:

Diesel and gasoline. Simplest to get, simple to use.

Solar panels. There has been a solar power network in construction since before I arrived, but its progress stalled due to a lack of panels. It's laid out, aligned, and ready to plug the photovoltaic cells in and turn on, only we still haven't got those.

Structural metals like steel and titanium.

Copper. All kinds. Wire, plates, it's all useful.

Electrical cable, again, all kinds. Ideally we'll have a few miles of general use cabling at hand for whatever we need.

Decent size general purpose generators. We can make them, but we can't beat factory made.

Polymer wind turbine blades.

Please contact me if:

You're able to transfer energy from one location to another instantaneously.

You're able to make all the wind blow onto the island from one side (without affecting the weather outside the anomaly).

You're able to supply a significant or stable amount of any of the above materials.

Our productive capacity depends on our energy supply. We really, really need to make sure we meet what we need.

Shelter

Most of us are still living out of tents. We made it through the last winter that way, but personally? I didn't enjoy it. Plus, temperature regulation was a nightmare. We have a lot of wood, and we have a few permanent log structures now, but ideally we'll be able to make much better, sturdier structures with the right supplies. Current needs include:

Cement.

Galvanized, corrugated iron and/or asphalt shingles suitable for roofing.

Rebar and every kind of fastener. If you find it, we can use it.

Drywall.

Copper piping.

Tarps and space blankets, if nothing else.

You can find most of these at home improvement stores, but distribution warehouses have more. You can sometimes steal these things off of trucks (Please do not attempt this if you have no idea how to get away with it and just want to help). But make sure to be conscientious of which companies you steal from.

Food

Most of our food production is done on-island, but we still need some basics to truly subsist and thrive out here. Main things we need include:

Modern float sheet glass, for constructing greenhouses.

Fertilizer. Nitrogen fixing by beans only goes so far.

Pigs (quadruped). We don't have the kind of open areas necessary to graze goats, sheep, or cattle, but pigs thrive in the forest.

Cold-resistant saplings (apples, cherries, etc.).

Seasoning and hot sauce. Any seasoning you can get your hands on.

Cheese and other dairy products. These are hands down the most requested food items.

Meat, any kind you can find.

Salt. Indispensable as a condiment but crucial as a preservative.

Books

We have all the computers you could ask for, but we can't spend all our time in a computer lab. But we also have a dearth of print media. To address this, here's what we'd need:

Textbooks, above all else. Especially for children's education.

Technical manuals.

General reference books, especially for information not easily found on the internet.

Novels, comics, and other "leisurely" medias. We're still humans here.

For these, look for rummage sales. Look for libraries disposing of old stock. Steal a crate off an Amazon truck, if you're the kind of person who can.

Electronics

After everything I said about needing energy, I need to make one more thing clear. We do not need more computers. Strictly, we have more people than computers on the island and not everyone can have their own personal computer, and I know to some of you the idea of going without a personal computer is ghastly, but I promise you, there are more important things. Every desktop computer you send us (and it's usually bulky desktops) requires somewhere to sit that's accessible, cool, sheltered, dry, and has running power. We have three computer labs. I supervised the construction of two of them. It's rare that any of them is more than half occupied at once. We don't have time to build more space to put computers in right now, and smartphones fill most of functions many of us would otherwise need a computer for. What we do need is:

Replacement parts for those computers (we have them; they're not going to waste).

All the electrical components you can manage getting your hands on.

Copper wiring. A lot.

Solder. Make certain you get the lead kind, it's vital for making sure our equipment doesn't break because of bad joins.

There are various small electronics, telecommunications, and radar systems that require regular upkeep, but if you send us enough components, wiring, and solder, we can do a lot more than you think.

Concluding note

This list is subject to change as we develop further, and will be routinely updated to better reflect our needs. If you have something you think we'd need, send me or hetcopogg a message to see if we need it. We can not afford to make unnecessary supply drops. Make sure to check back to see if things have changed regularly, and thank you for the support.

Physical Anomaly Maintenance, by polaricecraps (organized and titled by bones)

How It Works

polaricecraps: so like

polaricecraps: for how it works.

polaricecraps: shit so like. fuck. imagine dropping a chunk of lead through a bit of saran wrap

polaricecraps: the wrap holds for a bit and then snaps, but the chunk takes a bit of the wrap with it

polaricecraps: then imagine that where the thing broke gets healed, but for both things

polaricecraps: like it closes so theres no holes anymore

polaricecraps: so that the saran wrap is fine and the chunk of lead is now covered in saran wrap.

polaricecraps: fuck. like, in other words

polaricecraps: its like when you put a bubble wand in solution, blow a bubble, and the solution forms a film on the bubble wand again, even though there's a bubble

polaricecraps: but like instead of a wand its just another really fuckin big bubble.

polaricecraps: its like a bubble travelling inside another bubble when stuff isnt supposed to get in

polaricecraps: and when shit IS supposed to get in its just like

polaricecraps: itself inside of the bubble.

Bubble Integrity

polaricecraps: so one of the fuckin problems with doing this is

polaricecraps: if you know how the fuck bubbles work

polaricecraps: theyre very very easy to manage when theyre small

polaricecraps: and theyre very very very hard to keep still when theyre fuckin huge

polaricecraps: it fuckin blows with the wind, with whatever current.

polaricecraps: in other fuckin words

polaricecraps: imagine like.

polaricecraps: youre on a beach

polaricecraps: and youre trying to keep a circle in the sand as good as you can

polaricecraps: but its fuckin windy as shit

polaricecraps: shit keeps blowing

polaricecraps: and you gotta constantly watch out for where the sand blows over

polaricecraps: to keep the circle goin

polaricecraps: thats what im doing.

polaricecraps: and frankly its fuckin not good when im not there.

polaricecraps: the bubbles still up but it gets wildstyle shaped

polaricecraps: because i gotta fuckin sleep.

polaricecraps: so ideally

polaricecraps: we get another fuckin two to keep watch on the the bubble

polaricecraps: we get another fuckin two to help keep that bubble a circle

polaricecraps: shit

polaricecraps: we get another fuckin two to keep that bubble a sphere

polaricecraps: and we should be fuckin set. smooth as shit.

Illusion Maintenence

polaricecraps: second fuckin issue at hand.

polaricecraps: we dont really give a shit if they know what the island looks like

polaricecraps: they know what the island looks like

polaricecraps: they got paper fuckin maps. too fuckin many for us to know about all of em.

polaricecraps: what they DONT know is how many fuckers are here

polaricecraps: and the shit we built.

polaricecraps: we consciously choose things to let in

polaricecraps: except like.

polaricecraps: i dont think its really clear how hard this shit is

polaricecraps: do you know how fuckin hard it is to let in like

polaricecraps: light?

polaricecraps: fuckin almost all radiation?

polaricecraps: not only that but we gotta keep some kinds from getting out

polaricecraps: life energy and fuckin other bullshit like that.

polaricecraps: so far weve fuckin gotten along real well with some real weird bullshit

polaricecraps: so for the fuckin keeping things in its simple, its like a faraday cage or some shit

polaricecraps: for the other shit…

polaricecraps: you know how in photoshop you can use the area around something to fix a blemish and it makes it look like it's continuous. spot heal

polaricecraps: outside the area it just looks like that.

polaricecraps: the radiation, light warps to look like that

polaricecraps: takes energy, conscious effort.

polaricecraps: i set that shit up, its part of the bubble n shit

polaricecraps: but harmpit's the one who keeps it going.

polaricecraps: kinda.

polaricecraps: harmpit's gotta fuckin sleep too.

polaricecraps: so when harmpit goes down

polaricecraps: very very fuckin slowly

polaricecraps: its like parts of the island pop up in the spot heal.

polaricecraps: muddy and shitty, but still very worrying

polaricecraps: if somethin ever were to happen to harmpit

polaricecraps: we fuckin lose it.

polaricecraps: and they start seein shit.

polaricecraps: we cant have that.

polaricecraps: we need, we really need like at least one other person

polaricecraps: preferrably two

polaricecraps: who arent the two for the bubble shit.

Final Thought

polaricecraps: so listen

polaricecraps: i know how it sounds

polaricecraps: but at least one of you fuckin bastards knows what the fuck i meant here.

polaricecraps: and if anyone did

polaricecraps: please fuckin message me.

polaricecraps: help us obi wan kenobi

polaricecraps: you old fuckin bastard

Information Security, by gaycopmp4 and lesbian_gengar

First of all, don't mention Kenowhere. Like, anywhere outside our own servers, on devices that have been confirmed as secure. Don't say it out loud unless you're on the island or you're in a place that's been checked for surveillance. Since we can't check everyone's house one by one, that probably means don't say it inside your home, workplace, or local shopping or entertainment center. Same general rules as anything we make, but this one is really serious. We're lucky that the name that stuck ended up sounding like you're just talking about Kenosha, Wisconsin, but they wouldn't call it that if people around the globe actually had a good reason to talk about Kenosha, Wisconsin. As far as we know, neither Janitor nor Tankfucker actually know what we call the place, but that's a layer of security we want to keep. If they notice that we even have a name for the place, we're in trouble.

Second, don't talk about Kenowhere on main GAW servers. Seriously. Only on the one we have set up for this. You can mention it in passing, but don't describe it. If there's a security breach to one of our regular servers, we lose a lot, but the people on the island don't suffer for it if we're not stupid. If you see a message on a main server that mentions Kenowhere get deleted as fast as it shows up, it's not subliminal messaging or a trick; bones is doing its job. Try to avoid making its job harder.

Speaking of subliminal messages and tricks, though, if you have a way to encourage people not to think of what we did at Kenowhere as important, strange, or worth looking into through some kind of perceptual woo, contact me (lesbian_gengar) and we'll talk about how to work it into the system of illusions already in place without interference. If you have a way to shield telecommunications beyond the security layers already in place, or to prevent online data collection regarding Mr. Destiny or the anomaly, contact me (gaycopmp4) and first we'll talk about why you didn't tell me that for regular security reasons already, and second we'll talk about how to integrate your security measures with the ones already in place. It would be especially nice if somebody could figure out a way for people on the island to call people outside safely except on that one phone somebody just left there in a Christmas gift package with a note that said "It's lonely where you are, take this." It would be especially especially nice if whoever did that would fess up and explain how they pulled it off.

Transit Information and a final note on the Destiny Anomaly, by greenmanwalking and hetcopogg

First of all, we want you, the reader, to understand what it means to undergo retreat or pilgrimage or whatever to Kenowhere, or to see Mr. Destiny. If you read the greenmanwalking reports, you should know what Kenowhere is. So, following that, you should know what Mr. Destiny does and what he doesn't.

What Mr. Destiny Does and Doesn't

As far as we (all senior specialist volunteers to the Kenowhere project) can tell, Mr. Destiny's primary fate-influencing effect acts more on people who have something they could or should be doing but are blocked from in some way, by social, physical, mental, or emotional barriers, in descending order.

This means that although Mr. Destiny tends to influence people to do important things, just because you think you're King Important Of The Dick Mountain because you have special powers it doesn't mean you're going to become Emperor Hyper-Relevant Of The Interstellar Flying Dick Federation from being around it. bluntfiend is the most magic one of all of us, and he hates being around the guy. He spent five minutes or so one time talking to it and then wept for about an hour, and never talked to him again, and he doesn't talk about it except to say that he doesn't recommend doing it. And he's not any more magic than he was before that. Some of the other paranormal-abled members of Gamers Against Weed have found it helpful to be around it, but bluntfiend is still just as much more magic than any of them as he was before. It's not about that.

Valid Reasons to Request Access

Now that that's settled, there's four generally valid reasons to request permission to go to Kenowhere. They are as follows:

You have a strong genuine belief in the Kenowhere project and you have an ability, talent, or skill, paranormal or otherwise which you feel you could use to contribute to the project most effectively on-island. We love you guys, but please try to make sure you have a 2-3 page proposal (informal writing, but use a legible 12 point font and single space) about how you intend to use your abilities to contribute to the Kenowhere project and try to be sure you're mentally prepared to live on a weird time bubble island with a lot of eccentric people for the duration of the time you need to make a real improvement. If you want to leave early, we won't keep you here and you'll be on the next ship out, but please think about it.

Because you have nowhere else to go. There are a lot of reasons for this. You don't have to give much detail about why you need to be there, though credibility is a bonus. We don't want to keep any well-meaning people in an unsafe living situation we can remove them from. We don't really want to keep anyone in an unsafe living situation we can remove them from, but if basic island security is neglected, that means everyone else who came to find sanctuary from an unsafe situation is now at-risk again.

You want to be something more. Tell us about that. You don't need to bring a proposal or a 5-step plan for your self-improvement, but we're going to want to talk to you. We understand that many people seeking to be better may not wish to relay their reasons for having that desire, but see above (#2).

You experience Mr. Destiny's call. See the section below.

All applicants who seem suspect are subject to a lie detecting test to be conducted by me (greenmanwalking), while under the effects of a 'truth-seeing powder' the big guy has left over from, I don't even know what. Some kind of old trade. He doesn't have a current supplier, but he has enough left to share with me for this purpose. I don't like using it. It doesn't have pleasant after-effects. It's strong magic and I'm not. It'll show me things. Please do not lie about your motives. I don't mind screening people who are sincere and well-intentioned in their desires, even if they're flagged as suspicious. That's the job. People who misrepresent their intentions and goodwill entirely… annoy me, and it's frankly embarrassing for them, too. If your request for transit is flagged as suspicious by your interviewer, you are not required to take the test, but you will not be allowed to go to the island otherwise.

On Destiny's Call

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If you receive Mr. Destiny's Call, (capital C) two things happen.

First, you receive a communication from Mr. Destiny. This varies a lot, including instances of contact such as in-person, business card, letter, e-mail, telepathy, personalized advertisements, payphone outside of a warehouse, crossword puzzles, and encoded message within a sequence of randomly generated numbers.

Second, you've essentially got something like a little piece of JJ's abilities. Mr. Destiny turning himself inside out like how JJ's powers got turned inside out for him.

You don't actually need any advice from here on out, but this section is for anyone who feels a little nervous or anxious about what's going on. This is in our section because none of the magic people of the senior project volunteers had it happen to them like we did, though mine (hetcopogg) was kind of two-way and mine (greenmanwalking) was… you read about it in the other tab.23

He can't do this for himself, but people who receive his call are going to find it supernaturally easy to travel where they need to go, which, as long as he's stuck in Kenowhere, is anywhere on Lake Michigan's shore in the general area of Kenosha, WI, or, in some cases, anywhere on Lake Michigan's shore. Reportedly, one can kind of 'tell' where. A few examples of this happening follow:

Finding they've suddenly come into airplane or bus tickets in their name.

Finding visa applications surprisingly quick and easy.

Finding they have a friend making a convenient move who conveniently would love to have company on the way over.

Finding exact cab fare underfoot where they stopped to look at their map.

Finding classified documents unexpectedly straightforward to steal.

Finding they are able to get over the shock of a man with a dog's head showing up in their dorm room surprisingly quickly when their roommate who is under a cognitomanipulative effect not to notice anything weird that happens in your dorm room comes in, talks to him like he doesn't have a dog head and does have a shirt on, and finds him so charming she offers him some of her left-over dessert and they don't even mind not getting offered the leftover dessert because it was kind of cute.

If you're nervous about the trip and you don't want to go: don't worry about it. Nobody is going to make you go anywhere you don't want to go, regardless of any calling you feel. It will fade over time unless you change your mind. You are always allowed to change your mind. If you're nervous about the trip but you still want to go, don't worry about it. People who have experienced the Call have reported on their trips anything from tiny lucks like:

Being assigned to an exit row.

The second-to-last seat on the bus having some kind of malfunction that gave them an abnormally large amount of leg room.

Unusually good conversations with strangers that kept them entertained for hours and really glad they met someone they wouldn't normally

To very large ones, such as the following:

A government bureaucrat calling them "a good luck charm" and telling them to call if they had trouble processing any documents in the future.

Closure with the fact of their friend moving away.

Extremely handsome cab drivers.

Finding a rare translation of Ovid you couldn't find anywhere until your you-were-boyfriends-for-a-long-time-in-college-and-you've-always-been-there-for-each-other-ever-since gave you a copy for your birthday that you still treasure it even though you can read Ovid in Latin now right by where you remember last reading your briefing materials on KTE-6561-Black in your quarters even though you were afraid you lost it

The opportunity to hug a dog who can hug you back.

When you make it to the lake, don't worry about the bubble keeping people outside. It won't stop you. Different people have gone through in different ways. For a few examples:

Finding old abandoned rowboats sitting around somewhere and found them unexpectedly functional and just rowed right in.

Finding it surprisingly simple to just swim until they hit land. Don't worry if it's a few miles away and you can't row that far or swim that far. There's magic around you right now. Do whatever immediately makes sense to you; you'll be pulled towards that anyway, it won't be hard.

Some people, most of whom who have not previously used a supernatural ritual to move from one location to another, have found it intuitive to conduct some kind of special dance, prayer, geomantic rearrangement, anointment, or other type of process in order to arrive there. (Results of this vary. This may or may not still involve entering the lake conventionally following the ritual.)

Finding themselves immediately standing on Kenowhere instead of the shore they were on before.

Finding a barge rowed by a quiet but oddly comforting man in a hood who 'felt more like a protector than, like, death' suddenly float to shore out from the mist (which itself recently suddenly appeared) which conducted them to the island in 'about as much time as we needed to process what was going on.'

Finding that a road of free-floating bog fragments, ice patches, or 'really big inflatable mattresses' drifting in on the waves suddenly formed and they walked across. This group sometimes but not always finds that at one point or another they can see their bridge being unbuilt behind them and built in front of them. Don't worry if you see this happening. It's going your pace.

Finding themselves able to walk across the surface of the water itself. Try not to get a big head. You're not Jesus, you're just Peter holding his hand. Except, in this analogy Jesus can't walk on water. Only Peter. (I once asked the big guy if he was a god. He said, "to some." Take it as you will. -greenmanwalking)

The luck effect will wear off when you hit the island. Things can get in your way again. You're not going to be supernaturally lucky. But you made it to somewhere safe, somewhere where everybody is going to work to get you what you need, because we all work for everybody to get what they need. We are going to protect you like we protect all of us. We are going to listen to you, like we listen to all of us.

Lastly: don't worry about meeting Mr. Destiny. He's really nice, and he hasn't ever bitten anyone the entire time he has been in Kenowhere. And he wanted to meet you for a reason.

bluntfiend: So you want, like, a closing message from the leader of Gamers Against Weed about why we're doing all this stuff with Mr. Destiny for your database entry on it?

bluntfiend: Basically it's like… well, we made this guy, right? We didn't mean to make him exactly how we did but it's here because of us and that makes us responsible for it, right? If something bad happens to it because of the way we made it then that's kind of our responsibility.

bluntfiend: I know only like five of us were actually involved in making it and we don't do this kind of thing for most of the Misters we make but it was made as part of something we're all part of and most of the Misters we make don't seem to want to have much to do with us, and like, this one came to us to ask for help.

bluntfiend: And it is what it is and it does what it does because we made it like we are, you know?

bluntfiend: So it's one of us, basically.

bluntfiend: And if we don't look out for each other, who's going to look out for any of us, right?

bluntfiend: Just tell them I said that, okay, bones?

Footnotes

1. "Janitors," in common parlance.

2. bluntfiend: The other Janitors. The mean ones.

gaycopmp4: the ones who want to fuck tanks

3. polaricecraps: im doing my best

4. polaricecraps: bullshit

5. greenmanwalking: This is the only part I can be sure they haven't changed. All of the rest of the information is accurate but only up until they stopped letting me look at the file on 2017-11-9.

6. greenmanwalking: I didn't have clearance to get this part, but I think you should be able to guess what it was.

7. No documentation from the ORIA has been recovered. This is considered a low-priority goal.

8. We were unfortunately unable to recover this. It has been requested that recovering an image or transcript of this tablet be considered a priority the next time a member of the Global Occult Coalition or Office for the Reclamation of Islamic Artifacts chooses to defect.

9. lesbian_gengar: it doesn't count if he gave it back, dude.

10. polaricecraps: dude is that your actual first name

11. polaricecraps: like i'm just saying they're sure writing this on an official report like it is actually your name

12. polaricecraps: holy shit it is

13. jockjamsvol6: dude you really let bones keep this part in?

greenmanwalking: Of course I did.

14. polaricecraps: right?

15. lesbian_gengar: lmao

16. greenmanwalking: lmao

17. talman_corvett: lmao

18. greenmanwalking: The only defense I offer is that paramilitary nicknames for things don't sound stupid when everyone around you uses them, too.

19. lesbian_gengar: lol

20. gaycopmp4: hey i just noticed literally every time you describe him he has his tits out. is that just like his thing

greenmanwalking: Dude his tits are just out like every single time I see him.

gaycopmp4: respect

21. harmpit: mlao

22. fallout_meta.txt: I didn't want to interrupt at the time, but I think that might only be the surreal part for JJ.

23. fallout_meta.txt: Arguably, GAW as a whole was receiving his call when we made Kenowhere.

greenmanwalking: …probably, yes.