An instance of SCP-1279-1.

Item #: SCP-1279

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: Each instance of SCP-1279 is to be contained in a reinforced steel container in Storage Unit ██ of Site 87. Two (2) security officers are to guard these instances at all times. No canines are to be brought within a meter of any SCP-1279 instance unless specifically authorized.

Any testing involving SCP-1279 must be authorized by at least one (1) member of Level 3 personnel.

Description: SCP-1279 is the collective term for six (6) leather dog collars. A tag reading 'Dog Inc. Dog Process Collar' is present on each instance of SCP-1279. No anomalous physical properties are present in SCP-1279 instances, and their anomalous properties do not become apparent until an SCP-1279 instance is worn by any form of canine.

Any canine wearing an instance of SCP-1279, hereafter referred to as SCP-1279-1, will be perceived by any individuals who encounter it as being of human-level intelligence. They will still be aware that SCP-1279-1 is in fact a canine, but they will internally anthropomorphise SCP-1279-1, believing that it is capable of speech1 and reasoning.

Individuals will not consider encountering what they believe is a sapient canine to be abnormal, and will behave as if it were a common occurrence. This perception of anthropomorphic qualities will often result in individuals feeding SCP-1279-1 meals intended for humans and occasionally clothing them in garments intended for humans2. (See image.) Removal of SCP-1279 from SCP-1279-1 results in affected individuals once again perceiving SCP-1279-1 as a normal canine.

Interview Log 1279-1

Hide

Interviewer: Dr. Matthews

Interviewed: Dr. Gregson

One instance of SCP-1279-1 ('Hank') was present at the interview. After the interview, both Dr. Matthews and Dr. Gregson recorded their respective perception of what had been said. This was in an effort to demonstrate the effect that SCP-1279-1 instances have on the way they are perceived.

Interviewer's Perspective:

<Begin Interview>

Dr. Matthews: Hello.

Dr. Gregson: Hi.

SCP-1279-1: Hello, Doctor. How are you?

Dr. Matthews: I'm fine.3

Dr. Gregson: What?

Dr. Matthews: I said I'm fine, I was talking to Hank.

Dr. Gregson: Oh. I didn't hear him, sorry.

(Pause)

Dr. Gregson: I said I was sorry, Hank!

Dr. Matthews: I don't think Hank minds, Tom.

SCP-1279-1: No, no, it's fine. Honestly.

Dr. Gregson: No need to fly off the handle, Hank!

SCP-1279-1: (laughs)

Dr. Matthews: (laughs) Good one. How long has it been?

SCP-1279-1: Fifty seconds.

Dr. Gregson: Uh…about a minute, give or take. Yes, I'm sure.

Dr. Matthews: Well, I think that should be all we need, to be honest.

SCP-1279-1: Yes, that sounds fine.

Dr. Gregson: It's fine, Hank, we can just do it again if it's not enough.

<End Interview>

Interviewee's Perspective:

<Begin Interview>

Dr. Mathews: Hello.

Dr. Gregson: Hi.

SCP-1279-1: Hello.

Dr. Matthews: I'm fine.

Dr. Gregson: What?

Dr. Matthews: I said I'm fine, I was talking to Hank.

Dr. Gregson: Oh. I didn't hear him, sorry.

SCP-1279-1: Well you should have been listening then, shouldn't you? Idiot.

Dr. Gregson: I said I was sorry, Hank!

Dr. Matthews: I don't think Hank minds, Tom.

SCP-1279-1: How did you even get this job? Isn't your job to pay attention?

Dr. Gregson: No need to fly off the handle, Hank!

SCP-1279-1: (sighs)

Dr. Matthews: (laughs) Good one. How long has it been?

SCP-1279-1: God only knows.

Dr. Gregson: Uh…about a minute, give or take.

SCP-1279-1: Are you sure?

Dr. Gregson: Yes, I'm sure.

Dr. Matthews: Well, I think that should be all we need, to be honest.

SCP-1279-1: That doesn't seem long enough for proper research, does it?

Dr. Gregson: It's fine, Hank, we can just do it again if it's not enough.

SCP-1279-1: I suppose.

<End Interview>

SCP-1279 was discovered after reports of a talking dog were received from an anonymous informant. When Agents arrived at the location and recovered the instance of SCP-1279-1, it had been arrested by a police officer for 'public indecency', referring to the canine's lack of clothing. Several instances of SCP-1279 were found scattered in the surrounding area, along with the following note:

Now your Dog too can be a member of the Household! Are you ever sick of your Dog anti-working for its pay and food upkeep? Well Worry no more, loyal consumer! Our new Dog Process Collar will make your Dog a fruitful member of Society! Society needs upkeeping, loyal hardworker citizens to feed the Fields, write the Offices and Keep Your Streets Safe.

Perhaps your Dog will be a Fireman, stopping the Fires from betraying you and your Loyal Family! Or a Police Officer, stopping Criminal Dogs from destroying the peace of a Neighborhood! (Not all Dogs are good Dogs.) Perhaps he will be a Doctor Dog, making open the Dogs that have suffered from a terrible mess.

Whatever your Dog's life chooses to become, it is only due to you, Faithful Dog Owner, purchasing the fine product of Dog Inc.

Dog Inc. - Nos quasi canes

Footnotes

1. Different individuals affected by SCP-1279's anomalous properties will perceive SCP-1279-1 as saying different things.

2. Subjects typically cite SCP-1279-1's 'lack of modesty' as the reason for doing this.

3. Despite prior knowledge of SCP-1279's effects, Dr. Matthews and Dr. Gregson still believed that SCP-1279-1 was an actual intelligent entity.