SCP-7790 — Orientation

Written by Roundabouts and NielleiN.

BY ORDER OF SITE-94's ADMINISTRATION

The following file concerns an anomaly that is currently under investigation. Documentation may be inaccurate.

SCP-7790

Item#: SCP-7790

Containment Class: pending

Secondary Class: {$secondary-class}

Disruption Class: {$disruption-class}

Risk Class: {$risk-class}

Fig 1.1 — Matanuska-Susitna, circa 1992.

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-7790 is currently contained within an HS3-Class1 containment locker at Site-94. Access to the anomaly's containment chamber is limited to Level 5 personnel authorized by a member of the O5 Council.

Description: SCP-7790 denotes the remains of a humanoid automaton of unknown origin, most of which was previously located within an abandoned factory in Matanuska-Susitna Borough, Alaska.

SCP-7790 is partially functional. At random times, the anomaly will become active and simultaneously do the following before deactivating:

Broadcast a series of radio transmissions through its speakers;

Spontaneously manifest and demanifest a set of unrelated objects within a 100m radius;

Violently rub the floor with its feet.

SCP-7790's back is heavily damaged, although the word "DIVISION" can still be seen visibly burned onto its surface.

Addendum 7790-1 — 28.10.1989

The following log contains a series of notable transmissions and objects created by SCP-7790. Joint designations refer to the objects and transmissions manifested along periods of activation.

For a comprehensive list, please contact your local RAISA liaison.

Joint Designation: #QJ4859/N

Object Description: An English muffin, lightly buttered.

Transmission Transcript: See below.

(A female voice can be heard.)

[00:00] — "Welcome to the SCP Foundation. I'll be performing your orientation today."

(Silence. This is followed by a wet, squelching noise.)

[00:12] — "The initials stand for Secure, Contain, Protect."

(The squelching noise keeps increasing in volume before ceasing entirely.)

[00:20] — "Or Special Containment Procedures."

(Somebody is heard pouring water. Gargles are heard before the transmission falls silent.)

[00:29] — "We do both things. We secure things, contain things, protect things. We also make special containment procedures."

(The transmission speeds up.)

[00:43] — "May I suggest the donut? Those croissants seem a bit outdated."

(The sound of a man coughing and choking can be heard.)

[00:49] — "Mhm. Okay."

(A soft object can be heard being tucked onto a bag. A laugh track can be heard intertwined with this noise.)

[00:56] — "That's a good pick. So we're both off to a good start, I see? Good. Welcome to the SCP Foundation."

(SCP-7790 ceases activity as a jazzy tune is heard.)

Approximate Timespan: 1 minute and 3 seconds.

Additional Notes: N/A.

Joint Designation: #PW1290/C

Object Description: An unopened box of tissues.

Transmission Transcript: See below.

(A robotic voice can be heard.)

[00:01] — TAPE FIVE, LESSON SIX. MEETING FELLOW PERSONNEL.

(A female voice can be heard.)

[00:09] — "Before we begin the orientation, why don't we get to know each other?"

(Silence. This is followed by a buzzing sound.)

[00:15] — "I'll ask a few questions. In school, they call these icebreakers."

(The buzzing noise keeps increasing in volume before ceasing entirely.)

[00:24] — "I'm going to break open the ice around your heads to get to the meat inside."

(Laughing is heard.)

[00:33] — "Yeah, that's a good punchline. Just kidding though."

[00:38] — "Well, to start it off, what's your favorite color? Everyone says blue, but that's just cause they don't know how pretty red is."

(The transmission slows down.)

[00:47] — "Oh, shit. Is that blood? I didn't mean it."

(The remainder of the transmission starts and stops erratically.)

[00:55] — "How many of y'all have ever had an alcohol problem? Drugs? Gambling? Give me something to work with here."

(A loud beeping sound is heard.)

[01:04] — "That's good. Addictions are perfectly healthy when you're working here. Keeps you nice and loyal."

[01:14] — "I think that's everything on my question list. I don't really need to learn anymore about you. I don't give enough of a shit. To be honest, you all could be cremated in smokestacks and I wouldn't care. I'd just send in a request for more of you. Because everyone's replaceable. Remember that. Just so you know."

(Silence.)

[01:34] — "Oh, am I oversharing? Sorry."

(SCP-7790 ceases activity.)

Approximate Timespan: 1 minute and 39 seconds.

Additional Notes: N/A.

Joint Designation: #DW9013/J

Object Description: A single electric shock bracelet, broken and rusted.

Transmission Transcript: See below.

(A female voice can be heard.)

[00:00] — "And here's where we have our guys."

[00:07] — "We put numbers on them, shave them, feed them, supply them."

(Silence.)

[00:16] — "In exchange, they let us do our tests on them."

(Long pause.)

(The sound of a man vomiting is heard.)

[00:23] — "What's wrong?"

(A male voice begins to speak.)

[00:25] — "Oh, Jesus Christ. That-"

(The female interrupts them.)

[00:28] — "Yeah, that's fine. Don't be such a baby."

[00:33] — "Don't worry about it. They'll be gone by the end of the month so you don't have to bother seeing them that often."

[00:38] — "They're criminals. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth."

(A cracking noise is heard, followed by the sound of a man weeping.)

[00:42] — "It's not wise to get too close."

(More silence. After 20 seconds, the screaming stops.)

[01:05] — "You don't need to care what happens to them. I mean, Hermann here is a POW. Isn't that something?"

(The man answers. Their voice is hoarse.)

[01:09] — "It definitely is."

(Following this, SCP-7790 ceases activity.)

Approximate Timespan: 1 minute and 13 seconds.

Additional Notes: N/A.

Joint Designation: #ER4956/Y

Object Description: A bottle of 1960s Class-F amnestics.

Transmission Transcript: See below.

(A female voice can be heard. Their voice is soothing.)

[00:00] — "Pick up the white pill."

[00:07] — "Don't worry. It's strawberry-flavored. It tastes really, really good."

(Silence.)

[00:16] — "Trust me."

(Long pause.)

(A male voice can be heard.)

[00:21] — "I…"

(The female attempts to calm them.)

[00:23] — "Shh, shh, shh, shh… It's okay. Just take it. And swallow it. It's not that bad."

(Silence.)

(Wet, guttural noises are heard.)

(The female continues.)

[00:36] — "That's how you do it."

(More silence. After 16 seconds, a swallowing sound can be heard.)

[00:54] — "Good, good. That's how it goes."

[01:02] — "That's how we all do it here. With those amnesiacs. You'll be okay. Just learn how to do it with those people."

(A lullaby can be heard coming from the transmission. The tune is distorted and seems to cut at random intervals.)

[01:27] — "Here concludes your monthly amnesiac orientation program. We wish you a very pleasant night."

(A jazzy tune plays before cutting midway.)

(Following this, SCP-7790 ceases activity.)

Approximate Timespan: 1 minute and 38 seconds.

Additional Notes: N/A.

Joint Designation: #GE2333/O

Object Description: A broken porcelain coffee mug. The mug's bottom contains a cold, molten marshmallow.

Transmission Transcript: See below.

(A female voice can be heard.)

[00:00] — "And over here is the most important room in the entire facility."

[00:07] — "The rec room. I think we'll take a break from the tour here. You seem pretty thirsty."

(The sound of rushing wind is heard.)

[00:18] — "There's a ton of choices for drinks. Wait, wait. I'll make you some hot chocolate."

[00:17] — "I know a great recipe."

(A dehydrated, deep-voiced, low-pitched man begins speaking slowly.)

[00:26] — "…Oh, thank you. That sure sounds nice. Did my mother ever make you hot chocolate, Evelyn?"

(Silence. The woman from before begins speaking.)

[00:34] — "No. No, she didn't. You never had a mother."

[00:41] — "Don't you… Don't you remember?"

[00:48] — "All your life, you've been living in this place. With us. You've always been."

(Silence.)

[00:58] — "Remember that. You should drink your cocoa though, or it'll get cold."

(Short pause. Sipping can be heard. Following this, static plays over the background.)

(The transmission falls silent for 15 seconds before continuing. The sound of a cup smashing is heard in the background.)

[01:05] — "Are you all rested up yet?"

[01:13] — "I see. Good. Now let's check out those missing fingers of yours."

(Footsteps can be heard before SCP-7790 ceases activity.)

Approximate Timespan: 1 minute and 16 seconds.

Additional Notes: After this message, frost was found on the back of SCP-7790.

Joint Designation: #RW6208/I

Object Description: A pair of white gloves.

Transmission Transcript: See below.

(A female voice can be heard.)

[00:02] — "Let's get into the meat and potatoes. The big C. Containment. What working here actually looks like. When you're here, the key thing to remember is-"

(Thirty seconds of static.)

[00:33] — "Make an incision right there."

(Forty seconds of an individual reading from the book 1984.)

[01:14] — "Don't touch that dial now!"

(Silence. The scene repeats once again. This is followed by four minutes of the sound of rat feet scratching the floor.)

[06:17] — "You've got to find something lucky and stick with it."

(Approximately two and a half minutes of the sound of something burning.)

[08:49] — "No. No. Those cuts are too deep."

(Thirty seconds of a woman yodeling. The sound is heavily distorted.)

[09:21] — "Excellent for a beginner. Everything should be clear now."

(A man vomits. Guttural noises can be heard.)

Approximate Timespan: 9 minutes and 30 seconds.

Additional Notes: N/A.

Joint Designation: #TK4920/B

Object Description: Gingiva containing 13 teeth of various sizes.

Transmission Transcript: See below.

(A female voice can be heard.)

[00:00] — "Howard."

(Silence.)

[00:04] — "Howard. The scalpel, please. There's a lot of that nasty, white gunk again."

(A metallic clink is heard, followed by a wet sound. A muffled scream is heard in the background.)

[00:13] — "Okay, that's a smooth cut. I think we're done with the mouth here."

[00:23] — "First day's the hardest, right? You'll get used to it. Just give me a hand and you'll eventually get the hang of this."

(A loud click is heard.)

[00:44] — "Jesus Christ. Those dirty eyeballs are full of calcium and roots."

[00:52] — "Howard. If you don't mind."

(Silence.)

[01:34] — "Thank you. You're learning fast."

(SCP-7790 ceases activity.)

Approximate Timespan: 1 minute and 37 seconds.

Additional Notes: Following this transmission, SCP-7790 proceeded to open its chest cavity and eject a pulsating teratoma. The teratoma's surface was covered with teeth and a thin layer of calcium.

Joint Designation: #AC5627/V

Object Description: A small red umbrella.

Transmission Transcript: See below.

(A female voice can be heard.)

[00:00] — "I know."

[00:04] — "But it's unique. Look. This is one of the things that you'll find in this job."

(Rustling paper is heard.)

[00:08] — "Remember the word. From that movie."

(A chuckle is heard. Following this, a deep-voiced man is heard talking.)

[00:12] — "Super… Superkale… I- Uh. What was I saying?"

(The sound of rain is heard. The storm is intense.)

[00:20] — "It… It was a word. Supercalifornia? No, no. It's much more lively than that. Not so American.

(Ripping paper is heard, followed by a dripping sound.)

[00:34] — "It's… It was Polish. Or Finnish, I think."

[00:43] — "Superhaltist. Suprafragalta. Soupstone. What… What was it?"

(The man begins to slowly hyperventilate.)

[00:52] — "Oh my god. I can't… I can't remember. It was there. I could remember… Back, back then. But then they took it away from me. They pulled it away. They…"

(The transmission falls silent for 7 seconds before continuing, now dripping noises resonating across the background.)

(A high-pitched, animated woman begins speaking.)

[00:57] — "…ocious! Even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious, if you say it loud enough you'll always sound precocious! Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!"

(The female voice from before can be heard.)

[01:13] — "I'm impressed you couldn't remember something like this, after so much time. Especially when this is not your first day."

(The man can be heard speaking again.)

[01:19] — "Oh, right. Haha, alright. That was it, alrighty.

(Silence.)

[01:26] — "Thank you, I guess?"

(SCP-7790 ceases activity.)

Approximate Timespan: 1 minute and 29 seconds.

Additional Notes: N/A.

Joint Designation: #PH4756/Y

Object Description: A Staedtler pencil.

Transmission Transcript: See below.

(A female voice can be heard.)

[00:01] — "Most of the job is repetition. Once we've developed concrete protocol, we just continue using it."

(Static plays.)

[00:08] — "Thinking doesn't enter in the picture. Only repetition and procedures do, because thinking doesn't produce anything. For example, you need to sign your name right now."

[00:15] — "Eventually we'll fully automate it, like in that Harlan Ellison story. But for now, we're stuck with you. And that means you've got to learn."

(Static plays.)

[00:26] — "Learn to numb yourself, not think, turn off your brain, autopilot, whatever you want to call it. Figuring out how to turn your eyes and brain to ash and how to forget that a child has a life. Living in an infinite present without context or morality, sociology, ethics, temporality. All of those words are made up things and just learn to ignore them."

[00:45] — "Even learning to ignore the pain. Because pain is another one of those things. It's made up. And because there's no room for humanity while on the job."

(Static plays.)

[00:49] — "It's not too hard. All you need to do is to sign your name on the dotted line."

(Silence.)

[00:58] — "Yes, I know about your fingers. What do you want me to do about it?"

(Silence.)

[01:08] — "Good. I see promise in you. Okay."

(SCP-7790 ceases activity.)

Approximate Timespan: 1 minute and 8 seconds.

Additional Notes: N/A.

Joint Designation: #KF2930/X

Object Description: A wooden chair.

Transmission Transcript: See below.

(A female voice can be heard.)

[00:01] — "So, let's go down to the next interview question. This is an optional one, but …"

[00:04] — "Do you believe in… God? Jesus? Allah? Whatever you call it."

(Silence.)

(A male voice can be heard.)

[00:09] — "I…"

(The female from before cuts them off.)

[00:14] — "If you're uncomfortable, we can skip it. It's not important. I'm just curious."

(Rapid taps can be heard upon a table.)

(The male voice is heard again, sounding nervous.)

[00:19] — "I don't know. I- I think I'm agn-"

(Rustling paper is heard.)

(The female interrupts again.)

[00:22] — "That's quite concerning."

[00:28] — "Like, uh. We have to believe in something. That's just how nature works."

[00:31] — "Because… You know. There's always something watching over something. Caring for something."

(A loud thump is heard.)

[00:37] — "A mother watching over her baby. An engineer watching over his machines. A dictator watching over his people."

(Silence.)

[00:40] — "…I watch over you."

(Short pause.)

[00:44] — "Isn't it fascinating? I mean, it sounds kinda wholesome. It also is… To know that we're all the same in some way. A leech not being different from a human mind, soul and body; a mass of maggots gnawing over a corpse, not being different from a city full of human people? It's… It's engaging, in a way. So, uh… What was I saying before?"

(Silence. The man begins hyperventilating.)

[00:52] — "Uhm. Right."

(Long pause. The sound of a burning fire resonates in the background.)

(The female continues.)

[00:55] — "You need to believe in something. For your own good."

[00:59] — "Because there's something above, that needs to be believed in. In exchange for its care, and its love."

(Silence.)

[01:04] — "A god loves his church, and, uh… I hope you know where I'm going, uh huh. Yeah, I've done so much for you."

(Chittering can be heard. The woman continues.)

[01:10] — "I can be that something you… You never had. You know?"

(More silence.)

[01:14] — "Just don't think all I'm saying is a fetish or something. It's more normal than you'd think."

(Following this, SCP-7790 ceases activity.)

Approximate Timespan: 1 minute and 15 seconds.

Additional Notes: N/A.

Joint Designation: #RW6208/I

Object Description: A Foundation Level 1 Access Card. It has been irreparably damaged and its original owner is unknown.

Transmission Transcript: See below.

(A female voice can be heard.)

[00:02] — "So, what have we learned? I'll break it down for you."

[00:13] — "You've learned about how to get rid of the what doesn't belong."

[00:25] — "You've learned your place in the world."

[00:44] — "You've figured out what things you need and what things you don't."

[01:00] — "You know just how deep to cut with a scalpel."

[01:06] — "I hope you've figured out the difference between people and disposables."

[01:24] — "How to do your job and not ask questions."

(Silence.)

[01:40] — "Have you learned how much we love you?"

(Approximately one hour of static intermingled with the sound of crickets chirping. Following this, a male voice can be heard. Their speech is slow and halting.)

[1:00:56] — "…I have."

(The female speaks.)

[1:01:30] — "And that concludes our orientation. Welcome to the Department of Abnormalities."

Approximate Timespan: 1 hour, 1 minute, and 32 seconds.

Additional Notes: N/A.

Footnotes

1. Highly Secured, Subterranean and Secluded.