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Item #: SCP-5670
Level 4/5670

Object Class: Keter
Classified

Special Containment Procedures

SCP-5670 is located in Provisional Site-73, a tunnel in Edmund, Oklahoma. The tunnel has been removed from local maps and the entrances have been sealed off to the general public.

All D-Class personnel interacting with SCP-5670 must have been convicted of either grand theft auto or manslaughter; documents of a D-Class’s legal past will be provided on request. Should a D-Class be retroactively found guilty of murder instead of manslaughter, they are to be amnesticized and immediately reassigned to another site.

Foundation personnel assigned to SCP-5670's containment cell are forbidden from making eye contact with anyone not assigned to SCP-5670. This is not required for personnel who have not been within thirty meters of the anomaly for thirty days.

Every seven days, D-Class personnel are to interact with SCP-5670 to the point of fully agitating it. A rubber caricature in the likeness of a former United States president is to be provided when interacting with the entity. D-Class personnel is permitted and encouraged to assist SCP-5670 in assaulting the effigy.

Description

SCP-5670 refers to a 16-meter-tall Class-A biomechanical entity comprised of severely degraded Lincoln Continental Convertibles, currently occupying 31 percent of Provisional Site-73. Estimates show that it is producing 45 liters of crude oil1 per month.

SCP-5670 is capable of restricted locomotion via its haphazardly positioned wheels. SCP-5670's middle portion resembles a degraded radiator, which is the main source of the oil. Its upper and lower portions are respectively composed of car frames and parts supported by semi-organic tubes that leak radiator fluid.

It has the ability to assimilate other cars into its body, often using them to replace its severely deteriorated parts. It owes its current form2 to this ability.

SCP-5670 has attempted to unsuccessfully breach containment several times3. From these incidents, it has been determined that it has limited sapience.

SCP-5670 becomes more efficient in terms of oil production when individuals with criminal records of grand theft auto or manslaughter4 enter one of the vehicles comprising it. This anomaly is the effect of a crude thaumaturgic ritual crafted by the Inushika, a group focused on the relationship between minerals and human nature.

Lastly, oil production significantly slows down when personnel working near its area have their attention diverted from it, particularly when outsiders are involved5. Considering its short remaining lifespan, and treatment as mandated by the O5 Council, containment procedures have been amended to reflect this.

It was built in 1967 under Project AUTO, which was supervised by then-President Lyndon B. Johnson, a noted automotive enthusiast. The project was initiated in order to increase American self-reliance and promote his vision of 'The Great Society', which was his platform involving a series of social reforms to improve America.

Discovery

SCP-5670 was first discovered in 1973, slowly moving south. Witness reports of a 'moving corpse of cars' and a 'Carmageddon' were received by police stations in Oklahoma. Upon this, the Foundation immediately acted and immobilized SCP-5670 using specialized spikes and thaumaturgic rods. Due to the cost of transporting SCP-5670, the decision was made to contain it in its current location.

Project AUTO Details

Walter Harrison, one of the lead supervisors of Project AUTO, provided several documents as part of a deal with the Foundation in exchange for cleaning up Johnson's legacy and public image. Excised versions of Harrison's journal entries are provided below.

DOC-EXPS-5670

Close.

Harrison (on the right) listens as Johnson proclaims the 'usage of all citizens of America, undesirable or not'.

Date: 03/14/1966

Entry: We have now started work on Project AUTO alongside members and priests of the Inushika; Our primary aim is to help with the fulfillment of the President's 'Great Society'.

Our main mission is to produce a reliable source of crude oil for the military campaigns in Vietnam and as insurance for the affairs in the Middle East.

Date: 03/17/1966

Entry: What can I say about 'The Great Society? A lot of folks would reckon that it will be filled with positive thoughts and whatnots, with no room for muck-ups. However, even the President had realized that this is not achievable. He needed to use both sides, saying that he saw that America had many jailbirds.

Those are from my perspective, in any case.

For now, we have the resources needed for building OilCa6, including the thaumic rods and tubes that we procured with the CIA's help. The necessary chants and procedures from the Inushikas have been also practiced by dedicated staff.

One of the bases for SCP-5670.

Date: 03/26/1966

Entry: We decided to base OilCa on one of the President's main passions - cars; the design is heavily inspired by his 1961 Lincoln Continental Convertible and his Amphicar. Considering his speech, I find it amusing that one could say the same about OilCa and the President's hobby.

Date: 12/10/1967

Entry: OilCa, which is three times larger than a convertible, is now finished after a year of backbreaking labor. Initial testing with prisoners shows an output of around 150 liters. The President was intently supervising every step of the way and has watched OilCa from a safe distance.

It is inclined to move its wipers when the President is in its vicinity and opens up its hoods several times as a sort of greeting. The President would often tip his hat to it, and quip about its intelligence and sense of justice. It also tends to play around with the oil it creates.

Date: 11/04/1967

Entry: OilCa has been docile so far.

Meanwhile, it was discovered that testing with individuals with extraordinarily violent criminal records (beyond 'less atrocious' ones like carnapping and strangely enough, manslaughter - perhaps deliberately brutal crimes sicken it?) has resulted in OilCa scooting and screeching, causing several parts to detach and overheat.

Both the master and pet love justice, but too much exposure to scum kills off their mood.

Date: 11/21/1967

Entry: Due to health issues, the President has taken some time off and plans to refocus a bit on other projects. It seems that OilCa has noticed his absence, as it has displayed behavior such as assimilating cars in a fashion that causes it to deform itself, shaking and rattling its components, and revving up its engines at irregular intervals.

We have to contend with putting clay sculptures of the President for OilCa to play with; it loves these and would seem depressed when it accidentally wrecks one of them.

On the other hand, the President, along with the head priest of the Inushika, has expressed disappointment in OilCa due to its low output, high expenses, and now rusty, 'grotesque' form. I believe he is on the cusp of abandoning it.

Harrison approaches SCP-5670 with specialized clamping equipment.

Date: 06/21/1972

Entry: Maintenance costs have severely increased as OilCa attempts to escape. Thaumic rods have been brought in to restrict it, while we need to train more personnel in handling it.

We figured out how to subdue it; we based our method on OilCa's love of the President and things that look like him.

First, agitate it to the point that it is no longer aware of its surroundings. Then, put an effigy of the President, or someone similar, in front of it. When personnel attack the effigy, OilCa would usually join in out of confusion.

It would be inactive later for some time, sulking over what it did. What kind of pup would attack its master's image, after all?

At this point, however, OilCa's quota has been dropping beneath threshold levels, while President Johnson has diverted most of his attention away from Project AUTO.

Date: 01/05/1973

Entry: Due to low oil production and high maintenance costs, Project AUTO is now pigeonholed, with OilCa shipped off to somewhere. President Nixon has said that America has a lot of other ways to deal with what AUTO is trying to solve.

It's practically the end of the road for OilCa.

Using the documents that Harrison provided, SCP-5670's special containment procedures have been amended to enhance SCP-5670's efficiency in producing more crude oil. Meanwhile, a deal was made with the US government to officially pass ownership of SCP-5670 to the Foundation.

Upkeep Report 1982-156

FILED UNDER DOCUMENT TYPE UR-045

11/28/1982

Regarding SCP-5670's Maintenance Costs

Prepared by Director Michael P. Takemori

Project-5670 has been drastically affected by the same problems which hounded Project AUTO.

First, oil production has been at a record low. Further testing of SCP-5670's limits have been largely fruitless. Despite changing the number of D-Class personnel used, repairs on the entity initiated, and machinery involved, its output has been marginal at best. Meanwhile, SCP-5670 still remains as a liability due to its breach attempts.

The needed funds for maintenance and training personnel have also increased to the point that it is a major strain on Project-5670's and the Foundation's budget.

Lastly, SCP-5670 has been degrading at a rate higher than normal as it becomes more inactive. Behavioral analysis indicates high levels of distress. It is estimated that SCP-5670 will slowly become neutralized in the next three months.

The team has prepared three proposals for the available courses of action: decommissioning, downsizing of Project-5670, and coordinating with other groups for the containment of SCP-5670. These are to be reviewed by the O5 Council and the Ethics Committee.

Update(01/22/1983)7

Due to the containment costs for SCP-5670, its current status, behavior, and its short remaining lifespan, it was decided to decommission it.

SCP-5670 breached containment during the process after it began outputting substantially more oil than expected; the load broke most of the containment rods. Partially damaged, it emerged out of the tunnel and headed south. Contrary to earlier behavior, SCP-5670 quickly moved at the expense of its components breaking down due to stress.

SCP-5670 avoided locations that contain large numbers of edifices and people. At this point, it began to leak a yellow fluid8. Its middle portion has also become heavily cracked and some of its wheels have become detached.

It arrived at the Johnson Family Cemetery in Stonewall, Texas, and then ceased movement. However, it still emits smoke, a substantially smaller amount of oil, and low-pitched clinking sounds.

Footnotes

1. Only around 22 percent could be used due to its low quality. However, there is still potential for adequately supplementing the Foundation's budget.

2. Often leading to it being described as a 'pile of cars'.

3. The effigy was therefore introduced to prevent breaches.

4. More severe crimes lead to it breaking down.

5. An example would be eye contact with said outsiders.

6. The term for Project AUTO's expected result

7. The 10th anniversary of Johnson's death.

8. Later analysis shows that 67 percent of it is comprised of ethylene glycol, a component of radiator fluids.