Vat of SCP-025-J

Item #: SCP-025-J™

Object Class: Non-toxic*

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-025-J™ - a $69 value - can be yours for only two easy payments of $29.99!12345

Description: Hi there, I'm former site director and current volleyball coach O5-7. Now, you may know me for my [REDACTED], but today I'm here to tell you all about the amazing new world of liquid product: SCP-025-J™!

Now despite its name, SCP-025-J™ is no joke. Using the latest and greatest technology, we've condensed every peanut butter-flavored cosmic horror into convenient bottled size! It's thrilling, educational, and the taste is to die for! Kids love it, and parents are there too! There's nothing you can't do with SCP-025-J™ and a little imagination!

Look, crack open a can and there's instant K-class chaos!6 Now it's a tiny containment unit! And look, flying through the air, it's cracked into your best pal's skull! Wowee, there's so many things you can do with SCP-025-J™!

Don't believe us? Listen to these amazing testimonials!

Addendum 025-J-1: Audio Logs 025-J 1-3

Dr. Johanson: Y'know, it really is an amazing product. My kids have been so much better. I have never seen them so happy before.

O5-7: 025-J™ really is an amazing product.

Dr. Johanson: 025-J™? I thought this was an advert for Rita[UNEXPECTED END OF LOG]

O5-7: So when did you get 025-J™?

D-5723: The doctor gave it to me yesterday.

O5-7: And what exciting things did you use it for?

D-5723: I strangled that asshole 2736 with it.

O5-7: Wowee!

O5-7: So how did it feel to be a part of the 025-J™ process?

D-2736: (Coughing)

O5-7: Yeah, I loved it too!

D-2736: (Choking)

*Side effects of liquid SCP Foundation may include hair loss, skin loss, loss of soft tissue, brain rot, spontaneous human combustion and bodily integrity failure. Under no circumstances should anyone open any bottles of SCP-025-J™ anywhere at any time.

O5-7 is not affiliated with the Overseer Council or SCP Foundation, nor any other group of interest. Any claims to the contrary should be disregarded before it's too late.

Spillage of SCP-025-J™ may result in stained carpet or tile, irremovable odors and the end of life on earth as we know it.

Oh shit.