This article thinks you're stupid. The fact that the article thinks at all is a problem though.

New Skip before the New Year. Been working on this for a couple days, trying to get it just right. There is an audio element that autoplays, but it's not a jump scare. Still, I really hope you read the warnings (and took them seriously). This uses html5, so it won't work on most (if any) mobile devices. Hope you like it.

Special thanks to Decibelle, Reach, and Scantron for helping me flesh the story out a bit more.

WARNING: Accessing SCP-2413's documentation will cause auditory hallucinations. If you have arrived at this file in error, and do not wish to familiarize yourself with the object, please close the document now and report to your immediate superior.

This file should not be accessed by any user utilizing a system incapable of generating audio. Due to the cognitohazardous nature of the object, and the risk of exposure to uninvolved individuals, it is recommended that headphones be used.

Current restrictions should limit access to this document only to authorized workstations, but in the event of their failure, access to this file by mobile devices, regardless of security level, is prohibited.

+ Show SCP-2413 Documentation

Item #: SCP-2413

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2413 is contained in this document. Under no circumstances is this document to be deleted or altered. The cognitohazard decontamination procedures at the end of this file must be carried out by any accessing user. Failure to follow these instructions is to be considered a Class 3 (cognitohazardous) containment breach.

Description: SCP-2413 is an entity that may affect any person (referred to as an SCP-2413-1 instance) that is cognizant of its existence, and who has not followed SCP-2413's cognitohazard decontamination procedures. Affected individuals are subjected to 1-5 minutes of auditory hallucinations which appear to source from audio equipment near the contaminated person.

While these hallucinations are capable of manifesting in the absence of audio equipment, this has in roughly half of all cases led to deleterious cognitive effects on the SCP-2413-1 instance, and testing into this field has been discontinued due to loss of personnel.

SCP-2413-1 instances will, following the conclusion of initial hallucinations, begin to display increasingly critical behavior towards creative works (known as the second phase of SCP-2413's effects). This behavior will begin to escalate in severity, leading to the instance being incapable of enjoying any creative work. While SCP-2413-1 instances display preference for critique of written works, individuals incapable of reading have shifted their critique to other works.

Individuals lacking an ability to see, taste, and smell have shown a resistance to this escalation, though nearly all individuals eventually progress to the second phase of the effect. The sole exception is any individual who is incapable of hearing, as no fully deaf individuals have been known to show any signs of SCP-2413 infection.

Approximately 90 minutes after exposure, SCP-2413-1 instances are unable to be decontaminated by the proscribed methods in this document. After 106 minutes SCP-2413 effects have proven irreversible by any means.

Decontamination Procedures:

Please access Document-0094 to proceed with decontamination.