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SCP-6833

CONFIDENTIAL

CONTAINMENT CLASS:

SECONDARY CLASS:

none

DISRUPTION CLASS:

RISK CLASS:

danger

Item#: {$item-number}

Containment Class: {$container-class}

Secondary Class: {$secondary-class}

Disruption Class: {$disruption-class}

Risk Class: {$risk-class}

Assigned Site

USUTSL-Site-215

Site Director

Dir. Braylen River

Research Head

Rsr. Stark Turner

Assigned MTF

MTF-ι-10, MTF-α-4

Assigned Site

USUTSL-Site-215

Site Director

Dir. Braylen River

Research Head

Rsr. Stark Turner

Assigned MTF

MTF-ι-10, MTF-α-4

NOTICE FROM THE FOUNDATION RECORDS AND INFORMATION SECURITY ADMINISTRATION

There have been recent updates to the Special Containment Procedures of this SCP Item since you have last accessed this page. Newly added information will be shown in blue and underlined text.

— Automated Message, RAISA

Special Containment Procedures: Properly hydrated civilians reported to not have urinated for more than four (4) days are to be monitored. These individuals should be confirmed for being SCP-6833-1 specimens by finding their correspondent wormhole in SCP-6833-A, by use of miniature GPS-equipped drones. If Foundation resources in SCP-6833-A are destroyed/scarce or if tensions with SCP-6833-B increase, operatives disguised as Emergency Medical Services must apprehend suspected affectees and search for related anomalies in cover of urgent genitourinary surgery.

Confirmed SCP-6833-1 instances are to be contained at assigned facility Site-215 and assisting facilities USUTTE-Site-330, USIDCS-Site-581, USWYUN-Area-104 and USUTJU-Area-146 until a method of treatment is created. If any foreign objects are found attached to a wormhole of a instance, it should be removed and the related SCP-6833-1 subject treated for anomalous telepathic persuasion. All civilians knowledgeable of their anomaly should be amnesticized.

The sale of SCP-6833 is to be halted by common containment protocols of marketed anomalous objects..Involving Mobile Task Force Iota-10 ("Damn Feds") and Alpha-4 ("Pony Express"). All assigned members require memetic inoculation against the objects hazards, and those affected by it should be treated for minor mental compulsion. Captured instances are contained at Site-215's 6833-Storage room.

SCP-6833-A and specific SCP-6833-B specimens, such as those on high governmental positions, are to be covertly monitored by miniature mobile equipment. Efforts to reduce hostilities are being developed.

If a number of individuals die simultaneously due to intentional efforts by SCP-6833-B, SCP-6833 is to be reclassified as Tiamat and decommissioning must begin.

Various SCP-6833 tablets.

Description: SCP-6833 is a marketed pharmaceutical product named "████████",.Redacted due to recent emergence of memetic properties. See Addendum 3. manufactured by "Microatic Laboratories", consisting of a 5cm x 3cm white carboard box containing a single black tablet encased in plastic. The item is primarily sold through an eponymous online website (www.████████.com) accessible through various advertisements; however, sales of the medicine have also been found on other websites and even in physical markets..Including online shopping- & auction-websites, illegal drug websites and street markets. All products are mainly delivered from a single, previously abandoned warehouse 20 kilometers south from Salt Lake City, Utah, United States of America, which Microatic Laboratories claim is their headquarters. Further analysis of this location is difficult due to prohibition from the company for any access, as well as heavy-security around the area of the building. It is not yet confirmed if this is the only location where SCP-6833 instances are delivered from.

The alledged purpose of SCP-6833, as explained in the packaging and various advertisements, is to decrease the rate of an individual's need to urinate at certain times, causing customers to rarely perform micturition for long periods, by stretching the consumer’s urinary bladder painlessly and increasing the interior space of the organ to improve storage capacity. How the tablet would cause this is not explained and further information about its contents and licensing is not available on the casing. There is no visible confirmation that this product was authorized by the United States Food and Drug Administration.

The tablet is comprised of a black powder of undetermined material. If it is consumed by a human being with a functioning urinary tract (hereafter referred to as SCP-6833-1), the ingested powder will traverse through the digestive, nervous and renal system until it reaches the entrance of the bladder's urethra, where all particles of this substance will accumulate. After this, the black mass will form into a shape of a disc 5-20mm in lenght, depending on the urethra's size, and reconstruct itself into a Class-A "Basic Entry" Extradimesional Wormhole that leads to SCP-6833-A, where all of the SCP-6833-1’s future urine will fall into.

SCP-6833-A is a sub-reality determined to be 73 planes underneath the baseline dimension. Known details of it are restricted to a single planetary object with a divergent biosphere from Earth and inhabited by a sapient species of gelatinlike entites with a simplified humanoid shape (designated SCP-6833-B). For more details, see Addemdum 1.

Despite its distance, sources in SCP-6833-A suggest that an interdimensional passage connected with it and our reality exists, supposedly a pair of Ways.Anomalous entrances of variable shape and form, that lead to other locations or universes. Ways can be activated by performing certain actions or having specific requirements, referred to as Knocks. in each of them, that makes accessibility between the dimensions possible. The location of this Way is under investigation.

SCP-6833-B appears to be the dominant species of SCP-6833-A, as evident by various signs of active civilization and society by it, which abnormally resembles human civilization on various aspects. More information on SCP-6833-B could not be gained due to recent incidents in attempting to obverse the reality (see Addemdum 3).

Discovery: SCP-6833’s anomalous nature was discovered in 27/12/2021, after ~40 online posts from buyers referenced the item, announcing the legitimacy of its advertised effects and recommending the product. The first containment procedures were succesful in halting knowledge of the item and containing any affected civilians. However, due to recent incidents (see Addemdum 3), the product's popularity had grown extraordinarly fast. As of this date, purchases were only minimally decreased and knowledge of the item continues to grow, with its reputation as a fallacious product by the mainstream media as the only factor keeping its popularity from escalating to the point of the Veil Protocol's complete failure.

Addemdum 1 - Exploration: SCP-6833-A and -B were first discovered after an examination of the wormhole's contents by use of a minuscule aerial drone was authorised. The results were filed in the exploration log below, included in this document to showcase SCP-6833-A's details and the behaviour of SCP-6833-B.

REMOTE EXPLORATION LOG

(ABRIDGED)

Date: 4/1/2022

Location: SCP-6833-A

Dispatched Vehicle(s): SCPF Microflyer X6, reconnaissance and research umanned aerial vehicle.

Operator(s): Technician Kellie Forest

Commander: Head Researcher Stark Turner

Foreword: Foundation Janitor Josh Randal, a SCP-6833-1 instance, was subjected to a surgical procedure to insert the drone into the anomalous aperture, to analyze its contents.

[BEGIN LOG]

00:00:01 - Visual recording activates, revealing the interior of Randal’s bladder. A mere distance into it is a circular object expelling light, presumed to be the Class-A Wormhole.

00:00:37 - After a small check-up of the drone's systems, it is advanced to the direction of the portal.

00:01:07 - Drone achieves entry. Vehicle detects breathable, non-hazardous atmosphere and non-anomalous spatial dimensions. Camera records a brown-colored cloudy sky in the surrounding upper atmosphere, and several other levitating Class-A Wormholes spanning slightly far away from the drone. Three of the portals are seen expelling unidentified fluid.

00:03:28 - The vehicle moves downwards in an attempt to discover a surface. A massive body of yellow-colored liquid, in an apparent size of an ocean, is soon found. Chemical instruments confirm it to be urine from several different humans, as well as, in some portions, belonging to no organism at all.

00:11:44 - UAV begins advancing north-west near the ocean’s surface for further phenomena.

[EXTRATENIOUS FOOTAGE OMITTED]

01:38:03 - After a long-period of navigation on the sea and discovering multiple other wormholes, a distant unknown object, floating on the liquid, is finally detected. It resembles a naval vessel, but not of any human model, and it appears abandoned and crudely left in place. The drone approaches the hull.

SCP-6833-A, with the naval ship in the distance. [02:00:37]

02:29:14 - It arrives to the left side of the hull and analyses its composition, which is revealed to be steel. A notable abnormality is found, where the hull seems to have entered the ocean recently, despite it being proven to be inoperable. The UAV is directed upwards to the deck.

02:32:50 - As the drone gets a more clear view of the boat‘s upper side, it is discovered that the water craft is a containership, carrying a multitude of rectangular metal boxes identical to shipping containers seen on Earth. Several of them are opened, revealing botanical and biological substances of varying but unfamiliar appearance, packaged as food. All of these substances are rotten beyond edibility.

02:54:50 - The drone is commanded to leave the area and continue on north-west. Various other similar ships are seen on the way, all similarly stranded.

03:24:26 - First sighting of a mass of land, yellow-brownish in coloration, at a large distance from the drone‘s right side. It is directed to it.

03:40:09 - Contact with the mass is made; further examination reveal it to be composed of materials identical to ones that make up most kidney-stones. Large buildings, skyscrapers and other types of infrastructure are seen near the shore. Sounds of a carnival are audible, coming from the city. The drone increases its altitude and begins entry on the center.

03:47:32 - Visible on a street below the drone, a greatly-sized crowd of unknown entities are present,.Later classified as SCP-6833-B. seemingly 'dancing' or otherwise displaying body-language expressing celebration. The creatures resemble common species of gram-negative bacteria, but in a humanoid form. Various festive decorations are seen, with a notable one being a paper sign hanging between buildings, containing an unknown language and artistic illustrations of the Class-A wormholes previously found above the sea.

03:50:04 - At this point, the anomalous entities have begun to take notice of the drone and the crowd disperses from panic. The UAV moves away from the area, moving directly to the shore in an attempt to escape the city.

03:55:43 - Before the drone could reach the shore of the island, a net launched from the device’s left side catches it, causing the UAV to fall to the ground. The last frames of the recording shows black automobiles surrounding the area where the drone fell onto, until the video turns into static.

[END LOG]

Afterword: Further investigation is required to confirm suspected relevance of the humanoid entities to the cause of SCP-6833. Additional surveillance equipment and drones are being deployed in SCP-6833-A. Due to the anomaly's harmless nature, Josh Randal is allowed to continue working in Site-215 without being put in containment, as long as he stays within the facility.

After this event, installment of automatic surveillance outposts and deployment of further mobile drones have been authorized by Director River, with observation equipment provided by the Department of Extradimensional Studies. This decision has improved research on the SCP-6833-A location and objects produced by SCP-6833-B, although study on the -B organisms themselves remain difficult, as all instances panic and escape upon sighting Foundation technology.

Addendum 2 - Recovered Documents: The following documentation are excerpts from notable physical media recovered from SCP-6833-A, created by SCP-6833-B, containing information on the possible cause and/or reason for SCP-6833‘s creation. Linguistic researchers have translated them from a currently unnamed language. For a full list of retrieved texts, contact a RAISA member.

Extract of a ripped piece of paper, resembling a part of a newspaper, determined to be published on 2018, recovered 9/1/2022:

…persons around the world are terrified as more of their water slowly recessed back into the seabed. The mysterious gigantic whirlpool that now resides at the North Aerophobic Sea is rapidly decreasing the sea level of the entire planet, causing disastrous effects on naval transportation on goods, killing an unbelievable majority of sea-life and enacting mass hysteria and riots on countries all over the world. The origins of the Giant Aerophobic Whirlpool are not entirely known, but scientists theorize that it may be caused by gravity-based weapons from the Great Gracilicutual War, but analysers cannot confirm. Investigation by the World Collaboration of Nations‘s Environmental Division are ongoing.

Extract of a document found in an administrative building at a SCP-6833-B municipality, determined to be written on 2018, recovered 10/1/2022:

FOR THE OFFICE OF THE PROTEOTERIAN STATE OF BABELALES‘S HIGHEST MINISTER

Dear Minister,

I greatly apologize for communicating with you on such unprecedented times, but we may have found a proper solution to this whole mess. My own agents discovered an unnatural gateway at the [UNTRANSLATABLE; COVERED IN SCRIBBLES]. The things we saw in the other side were horrifying, we have never seen anything like it. Completely different biomass, creatures with unfamiliar attributes, an awfully reeking atmosphere, we even saw signs of intelligent civilizations. But everything was just so big. Even when my full army accessed the dimension, it felt insignificant in contrast to the size of everything. It was unsuitable for habitation.

However, that is not what make this peculiar place special for us. You see, one of my commander‘s teams accessed some underground dungeons in that dimension. It was a hideous, disgusting catacomb filled with foul-smells and lost critters and its purpose appeared unknown. That changed until we encountered a wide canal of some sort, where we found it. Our seawater, it was here. We didn’t recognize at first since it was contaminated with other materials and its yellow coloration was almost gone, but we could smell its presence. We tried to get as much clean seawater we could, but unfortunately it got too mixed with the other liquids. I almost thought we lost our only chance to restore the ocean, but one of my researchers discovered the possible origin of the fluid. It’s from the animals. I know, it seems ridiculous, but my team saw one of those creatures disposing fresh water on the ground. We analyzed it and everything, it was the same liquid.

This is a miracle, High Minister. This dimension could be the key to saving our civilization from collapse. But we need to study this environment much more before we have any idea how this place works. So I, Grand Chancellor of the Ozemo Republic, propose that our governments and their allies work together on devising a plan to extract the ocean water out of the foreign reality for the recovery of bacterial-kind. I hope you respond soon, High Minister. Time is of the essence here.

Best Regards.

Grand Chancellor Plamctom Laeia, Ozemo Republic

Extract of a document contained in a briefcase of a SCP-6833-B instance, captured by Foundation miniscule drones, recovered 13/1/2022:

OPERATION RECLAMATION

OFF-WORLD INTERACTION REPORT #24

A dangerous decrease in purchases in the past month has been observed. Analysis revealed that a majority of online sales of the substance become automatically deleted soon after upload. Owners of online-shopping websites claim that they were not aware of the removal of our products. The legitimacy of these claims are under investigation.

On a different note, the newspaper company Sincere Country Post has attemped to communicate with us for the fourth time, despite our previous denials. While this level of media attention is a positive sign of the substance's increasing popularity, this group is getting dangerously close from uncovering our operation by insisting on entering our base. Investigators have been tasked with researching this company so that a proper plan to dispose of them can be formed.

END REPORT

Extract of a digital text message received to a Foundation minuscule drone, before shortly losing contact with command due to a crash of its system. Written in English. Received in 15/1/2022.

Dear "SCP Foundation",

For several decades, our world was slowly dying. Our ocean, the essential component of our planet, was being drained away by a gigantic, unnatural whirlpool. Nothing that we can come up with could stop it and, after not much long, most of our civilization had lost hope and accepted their fate.

However, after searching for various realities to escape to, we found your world. And with it we found a gift from the gods, an endless suply of our homeworld sea-water. Finally, we discovered a chance to prevent the apocalypse and save our world. After complicated research, planning and strategy, we could succefully extract the liquids from your species harmlessly and bring it to our lands. We thought that it was finally done, an era of suffering was coming to an end and nothing else could get in our way.

Of course, we would soon be proven wrong when you found out about us: stealing our pills, disrupting our sales, trespassing our world and causing worldwide hysteria. Do you have any sympathy for our suffering? It's not as if you were not aware. We know what kind of documents you've been peeking behind our backs. We just wish to bring back our majestic golden sea, let our people bathe in the warm fluids of the sunny ocean, submerge ourselves in its blonde glory, splashing others with it in playful games for hours, and hunt the delicious fish swimming on its surface and consume its wet, moist body. Can't you just relate to that? Don't you have your own ocean too?

We will not take this abuse any further. If you continue to withhold our chance of survival from us, we will have no choice but to fight back. This is war.

Warmest regards,

World Collaboration of Nations

Addemdum 3 - Timeline of Incidents: After significant deployment of Foundation equipment in SCP-6833-A. Various incidents have transpired that altered the anomaly and diminished Foundation resources.

Date
Event
Response

There are 46 known SCP-6833-1 civilians at this date. All of them are contained.

16/01/2022
Several instances of stationary Foundation monitoring equipment are simultaneously made inoperable, as various SCP-6833-B instances search for and manually remove them. Mobile drones are not targeted.
Additional aerieal vehicles deployed. Installing touch-sensitive electric shock mechanisms on remaining surveillance cameras.

17/01/2022
Vehicles owned by Microatic Labortories are seen parking near Site-215's above-ground cover building, remaining still for long lengths of time and leaving when security personnel attempt contact.
A 200 meter security perimeter around Site-215 has been established in cover of road renovation.

23/01/2022
Several local county televison channels had their signal intruded with sudden commercials for SCP-6833. These are the first instances of SCP-6833 advertisements broadcasted in television instead of the internet.
The Department of Anomalous Broadcasting has been notified of the hijackings in the most affected channels and is working with local broadcast regulators to remove any commercials.

There are 177 known SCP-6833-1 civilians at this date. 65 of them are contained.

24/01/2022
Site-215's computer network suffered a 'mixed threat' cyberattack after Janitor Josh Randal downloaded an unauthorized application, appearing as a poorly made SCPiNET word processor, in the terminal inside an unrelevant researcher's quarters while Josh was cleaning its floor. The application was sent by email from the address of Microatic Labortories. The attacks resulted in the malfunction of remote control network servers, causing all mobile drones in SCP-6833-A to become inoperable.
Technical personnel have been assigned to repair all affected servers. Janitor Josh had his employment terminated and was subjected to SCP-6833-1 containment procedures.

27/01/2022
A partial minority of SCP-6833-1 civilians report sensing a humming sensation in their pelvis, following by minor headaches. When personnel attempted to interview subjects later, interviewees kept suggesting to consume SCP-6833 and could not respond to any question without mentioning the item.
SCP-6833-1 instances exhibiting these symptoms had their wormholes investigated. Surgeons discovered that a mechanical device was installed at the threshold of the portals, emitting telepathic signals to the consumer’s brain. Containment procedures updated.

28/01/2022
35 internet celebrities, most of which reside in Salt Lake City, created videos sponsored by SCP-6833. When interviewed, they claimed that Microatic Labortories contacted them by email and offered a high-sum of money for the advertisement, the specific number of which varied by each individual. Investigation of these emails revealed that they obtained a cognitohazard, and no actual transaction was made.
The sponsored content was deleted, although with slight delay due to the unexpected change of advertising method, and interviewed citizens were amnesticized. Civilians exposed to the videos were located all across the U.S, and a nation-wide hunt for imminent SCP-6833-1 subjects was necessary. Containment procedures updated to assign extra facilities for the containment of SCP-6833-1.

There are 684 known SCP-6833-1 civilians at this date. 329 of them are contained.

30/01/2022
The FBI's Unusual Incidents Unit performed a raid on the headquarters of Microatic Laboratories, after learning of the items effects on citizens across the USA. UIU field reports revealed that besides security personnel, the inside of the warehouse was vacant and no offices were established inside the building, with only machinery built for producing SCP-6833 being discovered.The process of SCP-6833 production was similar to the manufacturing of non-anomalous tablets, however the source of the powder used to create the items could not be found, as these materials appered to come from a wormhole which demanifests when personnel attempted to approach it.. Security guards were found to be SCP-6833-1 instances, which were telepathically manipulated by the same devices seen in contained instances to prevent entry to the building.
UIU has comandeered all SCP-6833-1 civilians to the Foundation, and has dismantled production machinery from the warehouse. However, soon after this operation, four more locations were seeing transporting SCP-6833 in various markets. Efforts to storm these areas were underway.

02/02/2022
At exactly 3:21 PM (MT), the logo and brand name of SCP-6833 became memetic. Individuals knowledgeble of them will receive a mental desire to acquire and consume SCP-6833, which becomes more difficult to resist as time progresses. Hundreds of personnel assinged to SCP-6833 have been affected.
Foundation memeticists are developing cures to all infected personnel and civilians through covert insertion of counter-cognitohazards in mainstream media. SCP-6833's title has been redacted in Foundation documentation. Containment procedures updated.

05/02/2022
During various surgeries removing telepathic machines from the wormholes of SCP-6833-1 individuals, projectiles of unknown make were launched out of the bladders of subjects, pursuing the heads of medical personnel nearby and disrupting entire operations. This resulted in 12 casualties across all assigned sites.
Removal of telepathic machines will only be done by UAVs in SCP-6833-A.

There are 1,359 known SCP-6833-1 civilians at this date. 482 of them are contained.

12/02/2022
A electrical outage caused a severe containment breach in Site-215 that released a multitude of high-risk anomalies and SCP-6833-1 instances. Most instances have been neutralized while others escaped the facility entirely through the catastrophe.
An investigation began after the breach was resolved, which revealed that SCP-6833-1-29 (Josh Randal) escaped from security personnel while being transferred to a different site, located his confiscated keys in his janitorial closet and accessed rooms containing electrical equipment, before destroying them by pure force. SCP-6833-1-29 died by electrical shock as a result. It is presumed the subject was telepathically manipulated.

15/02/2022
The Class-A Wormholes of four individual SCP-6833-1 subjects, each in different assinged sites, had suddenly increased their diameter 2 meters beyond the human bodies, perfectly slicing their pelvis and lower torso region, causing all civilians to die of blood loss shortly after. A sheet of paper was emitted out the portal before it demanifested, which showcased a written threat by SCP-6833-B instances to commit the exact event to all current SCP-6833-1 individuals if all containment efforts are not discontinued.
See Addemdum 4.

There are 3,821 known SCP-6833-1 civilians at this date. 12 of them are contained.

Addemdum 4 - Diplomatic Meeting: Due to the possibility of an anomalous mass murder and breach of the Veil protocol, as well as the inefficient upgrades to the current containment procedures, the Overseer Council prepared an emergency meeting with all department heads to deescalate the situation. The Department of External Affairs Director Winter McCormick recommended that a Foundation diplomat be personally sent to SCP-6833-A to conduct negotiations for peace with SCP-6833-B. After a high-majority vote, McCormick's proposal was granted in the condition that the resulting discussion with the anomalies would prevent the resurgence of SCP-6833 in the public.

After a long electronic message exchange with SCP-6833-B political leaders, a personal meeting was planned in a deserted island location in SCP-6833-A. Foundation Diplomat Garnett Allan was assigned to engage with the entities, and had their size anomalously reduced to allow entry through a miniature wormhole. Garnet Allan, accompanied by operatives of Mobile Task Force Eta-0 ("Toy Soldiers").A military force that specializes in traversing areas and realities too small for regularly-sized humans to explore, requiring members to be anomalously shrunked down in specific sizes depending on the location. for security, was transported to SCP-6833-A in a functional shrunked instance of the SCPS Purus submarine, after a surgical procedure succesfully inserted the vessel in SCP-6833-1-42's bladder.

FIELD DEPLOYMENT TRANSCRIPT

MTF-Eta-0 ("Toy Soldiers") seal.

Date: 20/02/2022

Location: SCP-6833-A

Personnel Present: Diplomat Garnet Allan, 32 MTF-Eta-0 agents, 15 SCPS Purus operators. (Full list separately available.)

Mission: Negotiate a resolution with the entities that would sufficiently contain the anomaly without the risk of interdimensional warfare. The Foundation may exchange any materials negotiated if approved by the Overseer Council.

Foreword: All personnel are wearing Specialized Shrinking Suits to prevent suffocation, hypothermia and blindness from having extremely reduced sizes. Garnet was instructed to turn on his body camera when the SCPS Purus was nearing its destination.

[RECORDING STARTS]

[The camera activates to an interior view of the SCPS Purus, lightened only by red lights. MTF-Eta-0 operatives stand on the side of the walls, with two of them, "CROW" and "BLAZE", close to Garnet. He is breathing slowly.]

Commander Kazimir: [Through a speaker:] -ation. I repeat, we are reaching our destination. Prepare for exit in 1 minute.

η-0|BLAZE: It's almost time, sir.

Diplomat Garnet Allan: [Exhale.] Alright, I'm ready.

η-0|CROW: I suggest that you to stay behind us at all times when talking to these things. They are causing a mess back in baseline, I bet they wouldn't hesitate to kill you on the spot.

Garnet: Thank you, but it won't be neccessary. I'm not that concerned about any attacks, they seem to value our lives at former times.

η-0|CROW: I don't know sir, they are threatening a nation-wide murder. I don't have a good feeling about this, I think it's best to stay cautious.

Garnet: Well I do not believe their threats, they wouldn't waste… "resources" in this manner. I am confident that it is nothing but a bluff. Trust me, this session can go much better if you allow me to approach them closer.

[Brief 1.5 seconds of silence]

η-0|BLAZE: Do what he says, Crow. He's a proffesional, he knows what he's doing.

η-0|CROW: [Stuttering:] Yeah, yea- alright. Sorry about that, it's just… this whole situation got me stressed out man.

Garnet: It's fine, I understand what you mean. Let's hope today will be the end of this for good.

[After 20 seconds, the machinery of SCPS Purus appears to stop and both members exit the submarine through its hatch before all other MTF operatives. The light-yellow evening sky of SCP-6833-A is revealed, as well as a beach of orange-yellow land composed of stones. In the distance, a crowd of SCP-6833-B are present, with one of them (SCP-6833-B-073) approaching the MTF-Eta-0 army slowly.]

[Garnet steps onto the ground and walks up to the entity closely. BLAZE and CROW are behind him.]

[The entity adjusts a ring shaped device that surrounds its "head", which resultantly beeps. SCP-6833-B-073's entire body vibrates and a modulated voice is heard.]

SCP-6833-B-073: Welcome, human! It's a pleasure to meet one of you in person.

Garnet: Good day to you aswell. I am Garnet Allan, representing the SCP Foundation, and you are Mister…?

B-073: Please, just call me Marinisomatota Chrysiogene.

Garnet: Uh, of course, gladly.

B-073: Thank you. So, let's not waste any more time. If I recall, you have a peaceful proposition to us that could solve our issue?

Garnet: Correct. After much thought, our organization has developed plans for a more acceptable end to our conflict, one that does not result in our bladders getting sliced, as you have delightfully promised.

B-073: I can confirm that we genuinely mean that. Fortunately, you are wise enough to appeal to our interests instead and trade to us your 'disposals'. That is what you are proposing, right?

Garnet: Indeed. If you see in this diagram right… here…

[Garnet removes a tube-shape container from his backpack, opening it to showcase a rolled up piece of paper, enscribed with illustrasions. He directs the diagram towards SCP-6833-B-073.]

Garnet: …there we go. As you can see here, we have plans to constuct various alternate plumbing routes inside the sewers of highly-populated human centers, which will direct targeted fluids to Foundation facil—

B-073: Excuse me for me interrupting, Garnet. But I am afraid this plan is futile.

[Brief second of silence.]

Garnet: I— Umm, I beg your pardon?

B-073: There's a major flaw in here. You're letting it go bad.

Garnet: …go bad?

B-073: There's something in your atmosphere that diminishes the quality of our seawater into an unacceptable state. In all our tests, sealife submerged into it would not survive for a day. That's why it has to be taken straight from the bladder.

Garnet: And… and you didn't mentioned this to us at all?

B-073: We didn't think we needed to, we thought you would just let us distribute the tablets?

Garnet: There is no way my superiors would accept that. Damnit, I guess this plan is scrapped then.

B-073: This does not mean we will have to go back to war, right?

Garnet: …unfortunately I can't say for sure.

B-073: This is outrageous, Garnet! We have millions of lives here at stake and you're withholding our only chance of salvation for what? A measley portal inside of you?

Garnet: It's more complicated than that, it could disrupt norm—

B-073: I don't even know why it bothers you that much, I thought you humans would like not having to 'do your business' all the time!

Garnet: Ple— [Silence.] Look, I am sorry you feel this way, but we just can't let anomalies out to the public! It could cause public hysteria if people see others being able to avoid micturation, this disruption of normalcy is going to cause chaos!

B-073: Well our customers weren't bothered by it. Can't you just… I don't know, just tell them to keep it a secret?

Garnet: That would take too much effort to keep track of that many people. And we can't just let civilians be aware of 'one' anomaly only. It would be too much of an information breach. [Exhale.] I'm sorry mister, but I'm afraid I'll have to cancel our…

[Brief 2.5 seconds pause.]

B-073: Yes?

Garnet: Wait. I think… I have an idea of how this could work.

[FURTHER DATA REDACTED]

Afterword: All personnel were safely transported back to baseline reality without casualty. After the meeting, Diplomat Garnet Allan developed Proposal-6833 for consinderation from the Overseer Council. The contents of Proposal-6833 are classified Level 5/Top Secret.

END FILE

NOTICE FROM THE FOUNDATION RECORDS AND INFORMATION SECURITY ADMINISTRATION

You are reading an archived version of this SCP Item file, certain information on this file may be out of date. Please access the current version.

— Automated Message, RAISA