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SCP-1233: The Lunatic

Author: CadaverCommander

Image Credit: https://pxhere.com/en/photo/1366166

Item#: 1233

Containment Class: keter

Secondary Class: none

Disruption Class: ekhi

Risk Class: danger

SCP-1233, circa 1986.

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1233's anomalous physical properties all but preclude the possibility of primary containment, and as such secondary containment measures are considered adequate until a feasible method of physical containment is devised.

Foundation satellite observation network ARGOS1 is to enter priority 2 high alert status 3 years and 6 months following the last observed SCP-1233 departure event. When ARGOS detects SCP-1233 in the upper thermosphere, a contingent from any nearby covert amnesticization and disinformation Mobile Task Force will be dispatched to the population center closest to the terminus of SCP-1233's descent trajectory.

After the entity's departure from Earth orbit, all appearances of and damages caused by SCP-1233 are to be accounted for with a suitable cover story in conjunction with media blackout, and any civilians having witnessed an overt display of SCP-1233's anomalous effects are to be amnesticized at MTF discretion. Mass amnesticization of the affected city may be authorized in the event of unusually prolonged SCP-1233 appearances.

Update October 5th, 2017: Under no circumstances are Foundation personnel permitted to interact with or engage SCP-1233 in any capacity.

Description: SCP-1233 is a humanoid entity of unknown composition, which visually resembles an individual wearing an EMU2-type spacesuit with opaque visor and attached extravehicular propulsion jetpack.

The equipment worn by SCP-1233 exhibits a number of anomalous properties. The suit itself has shown durability far exceeding that of a standard spacesuit; SCP-1233 has to date withstood small-arms fire, anti-tank munitions, landmines, white phosphorus munitions, and in one instance total submersion in magma without sustaining any observable damage or decrease in functionality. The suit material is also opaque to all attempted forms of penetrative scanning, up to and including ultrasonic, radio, microwave, and x-ray emitters.

The entity's jetpack, while ostensibly designed to be practical only in low-gravity orbital conditions and powered by compressed nitrogen, instead appears to utilize some form of anomalously high-powered rocket propulsion system. This device can sustainably generate thrust capable of rapidly accelerating the entity to a maximum observed velocity of approximately 40,500 kilometers per hour3, and can alter SCP-1233's trajectory in any direction at speeds and rates of acceleration/deceleration that would be instantly fatal to any human.

SCP-1233's physical strength is correspondingly anomalous. It has demonstrated the ability to lift and throw objects weighing up to 65,000 kilograms and can do so repeatedly without showing any external signs of fatigue, in defiance of multiple physical laws.

SCP-1233 is capable of communicating through a loudspeaker installed in its suit, and does so in a loud, somewhat grandiloquent and declamatory male voice, demonstrating fluency in a number of languages and adjusting its speech to conform with whatever language is most commonly spoken by the surrounding populace. Its statements are generally coherent in structure, but are frequently rambling, oblique, irrelevant to the present situation or lacking discernible context.

SCP-1233's behavior is erratic, unpredictable, gregarious, cordial, and somewhat destructive, though its appearances are typically brief and infrequent, with sightings occurring only once per 4-5 years.

An SCP-1233 arrival event will begin with the entity falling from an unknown height above the earth's surface, generally at a terminal velocity comparable to that of a small meteorite or atmospheric re-entry vehicle. SCP-1233 will exhibit the red-orange thermal radiance typical of these objects as a result of atmospheric friction, and as such SCP-1233 is commonly mistaken for a meteorite or “shooting star” during its descent. It will then crash-land, causing a minor localized seismic event and a sizable impact crater. In almost all cases, SCP-1233 has landed a moderate distance4 away from the outer limits of a population center, usually a small to mid-size town with a population not exceeding 30,000. It will then climb out of the crater, and travel toward the nearby town either via flight or on-foot. Its route to the population center is usually not direct; SCP-1233 will frequently stop to engage in various activities, seemingly at random. Examples of observed detour behaviors include:

Inspecting various objects, such as farm equipment, buildings, and plants

Standing still for variable amounts of time

Chasing small insects, such as grasshoppers and butterflies

Attempting to greet, converse with, or interrogate animals such as livestock and birds

Pulling up root vegetables or picking fruit from bushes/trees and pressing them forcefully into its closed visor in an apparent attempt to “eat” them

Marching directly into bodies of water such as ponds and lakes,

among others, normally not resulting in significant property damage.

Upon reaching the town limits, SCP-1233 will engage in further activities which, due to its curiosity, appearance, extreme physical strength, and lack of understanding of human societal conventions will generally result in civil unrest and destruction of public and private property. The following video transcript provides a typical example of SCP-1233 interaction with the local populace.

Date: August 9th, 2009

Media Origin: Security camera footage confiscated from Sam's Sweets, a bakery and cafe located in downtown Saratoga Springs, NY, USA.

(SCP-1233 opens front door and enters cafe. Behind the counter is an overweight, bearded man identified as Bob Parsons, 32, co-owner of the establishment. Parsons raises his eyebrows upon SCP-1233's entry.)

Parsons: Holy crap dude, it's like… 90 degrees out there. I get being dedicated to your cosplay and all that, but goddamn.

(SCP-1233 approaches the register and salutes briefly.)

SCP-1233: Greetings, little girl. I am Moon Champion, champion of the Moon, defender of space justice and destroyer of evil. I have come once again to your charming world to learn more of your strange culture, and to seek aid for my people in their ongoing war against the Moon Monsters. You appear to possess a vast wealth of the fabled nutrients and moisture for which this world is known throughout the galaxy. Are you the President of this planet?

(Pause. Parsons laughs uproariously for approximately a minute, then reaches into a display case below the counter while wiping tears from his eyes.)

Parsons: Holy fuck, man. That's the funniest shit I've heard in like, at least a year. What's up Moon Champion, I'm Bob, and you get a free cookie for making me bust a gut so hard I thought I was gonna puke up my own spine. Here.

(Parsons offers the cookie to SCP-1233. The entity takes it from the shopkeeper.)

SCP-1233: Ah. One of your human “parakeets”, I see. Yes. I, Moon Champion, accept this small bird on behalf of the Moon, and solemnly pledge to use the energy it provides to advance the cause of righteousness.

(SCP-1233 rams the cookie into its unopened visor. The impact instantly destroys the confection and forcefully scatters crumbs in all directions.)

SCP-1233: Delicious! I thank you, Lord President of Earth, for this generous gift, and may the light of Justice forever shine upon your royal visage.

(The baker laughs again and begins eating a cookie of his own.)

Parsons: … Nah it's cool Moon Bro, I'll just clean that up later, don't worry about it or anything. So there's monsters, huh? On the Moon? And you fight 'em?

SCP-1233: Your understanding of the situation is flawless, my Lord. Yes, the dreaded Moon Monsters have plagued and besieged my people for countless millennia. They are very terrible; merely attempting to describe them to you would cause your human organs to shrivel in horror. And it is my sacred duty as Moon Champion to meet these nightmarish beasts in combat, and lead the Moon People in the defense of their imperiled homeland: the majestic and magnificent Moon Kingdom.

(Parsons continues eating his cookie, and nods.)

Parsons: Oh, so you're like, one of these alien dudes. Their king or something.

SCP-1233: No. I am not one of the Moon People. I am Moon Champion. I will continue to serve the Moon People, and wage glorious war against their enemies until my debt to the Moon King is repaid. But the Moon Kingdom is a land of peace and enlightenment, the Moon People having abandoned the pettiness of violence and bloodshed eons ago. They are ill-prepared for the sudden advent of such a formidable foe, and the conflict goes poorly despite the valiant efforts of me, Moon Champion. And so I have come once more to Earth, our closest neighbor, to seek whatever assistance lies within your damp, meaty hearts.

(Throughout this monologue, SCP-1233's right arm has risen into the air gradually until its hand is outstretched above its head. Parsons points at it.)

Parsons: Do you uh… have a question?

SCP-1233: Yes. Several. To start, are these “puppies” you have capable of withstanding the vacuum of space without additional shielding? I would like to befriend one, and name her Moon Pup, and take her with me on space adventures.

Parsons: Your arm, dude.

(SCP-1233 pauses, then turns its head to look at its arm.)

SCP-1233: Ah. Yes. It has become buoyant, an aspect of your mighty balloons. Another common side-effect of your Earth atmosphere, similar to electricity and swarms of locusts. Either that or there are Laser Beasts within this quadrant. I have studied the Earth quite extensively. Its phenomena are disgusting and incredible.

Parsons: … Huh.

SCP-1233: Now, Lord President Mayor of Earth, will you answer the Moon King's call, and assist us in our desperate battle against the Moon Monsters? Time is of the essence. Time waits for no Moon Champion. I have asked it nicely. It did not listen.

Parsons: Oh. Uh… So like, as you can see, Moon Dude, as President I have uh… responsibilities. This uh… supply depot here is the only source of food for my people, and I've gotta like, stay here. Otherwise there'll be a famine, you know how it is. But I've ordered the citizens to lend a helping hand to anyone who asks, and uh, look! Right outside, there's some.

(SCP-1233 turns to look out the glass door, where there are passersby visible.)

SCP-1233: Yes. Of course. You have been most voluptuous, my liege. Farewell, glorious and corpulent President. May you and your people remain moist and rubbery. Moon Champion blasts off, on wings of justice!

(SCP-1233 salutes once more, turns about, and marches forward, crashing directly through a section of concrete wall less than 10 feet from the establishment entrance.)

Other observed behaviors have included:

Wandering into traffic, which due to its anomalous properties has resulted in lethal collisions

Breaking through glass storefronts to handle or inspect wares on display

Challenging a fire hydrant to single combat, which it then destroyed via punching

Stealing and gathering unattended bicycles, forming a pile of hundreds in the center of a public park

Stacking parked cars on top of one another

Collecting as many dogs as possible and attempting to use them as currency to purchase more dogs,

and more. SCP-1233's exploits invariably result in the local authorities being summoned by the citizenry, however attempts by police to impede, detain, or arrest SCP-1233 are entirely ineffective and are ignored by the entity in the majority of cases. To date, SCP-1233 has not caused overt and deliberate harm to any civilian, though casualties and fatalities have occurred as a result of its unpredictable behavior and physical properties.

After spending a variable amount of time5 within a given municipality, SCP-1233 will abruptly activate its jetpack and ascend directly upward, reaching escape velocity and exiting Earth's atmosphere with greater speed than any non-anomalous vehicle on record. Ground-based and orbital telescope observation of recent SCP-1233 departures have shown that its general outbound trajectory is consistent during each event: SCP-1233 exits Earth orbit and maintains velocity while adjusting course directly toward the Moon. At its average speed of roughly 40,500 kilometers per hour, the entity enters lunar orbit within approximately 9 hours. It will overshoot slightly and adjust course, passing out of view and presumably either demanifesting somehow or landing on the far side of the Moon.

None of SCP-1233's claims regarding the Moon have been successfully verified. Since SCP-1233's initial appearance on February 6th, 1986, Foundation research divisions have maintained constant surveillance of the Moon in an attempt to acquire concrete proof of its statements. No evidence indicating the existence of a Moon Kingdom, Moon People, Moon Monsters, or any other Moon-based extranormal objects or entities mentioned by SCP-1233 has ever been found.

Terrestrial research personnel have maintained continual contact with Lunar Area-32 provisional research station supervisors concerning all aspects of SCP-1233 since its initial registry, hypothesizing that Area-32's powerful and comprehensive SENTINEL array would be capable of confirming or refuting SCP-1233's allegations with ease.

Not only have Lunar Base personnel consistently failed to uncover any indication that SCP-1233's assertions are authentic in any way, but no anomaly or object matching SCP-1233's description has ever been recorded by SENTINEL's hundreds of detectors, despite the existence of a multitude of Earth-based telescopic video recordings which clearly show SCP-1233 entering the inner bound of SENTINEL's optimal sensor range and flying directly over Lunar Area-32. Lunar personnel were only made aware of the entity's existence in the SCP registry upon terrestrial command's request that they transmit all data concerning SCP-1233's first appearance to Earth for storage and analysis, three hours following the entity's disappearance. No such data existed.

No definitive explanation for this observational discrepancy has been found.

Addendum 1233-01: During SCP-1233's most recent arrival event on October 5th, 2017, SCP-1233 addressed a male civilian6 in downtown Hereford, England. SCP-1233 approached Godsall and asked him if he would be willing to join the fight against the “Moon Monsters”. As opposed to each observed iteration of this interaction thus far, in which the civilian petitioned by SCP-1233 either disregards the question or answers in the negative, Godsall sardonically replied, “Oh absolutely, you fucking nutter. I'm ready to go right now, got my toothbrush and everything. Let's fly, spaceman.”

SCP-1233 responded, “At last! A brave warrior, hiding in plain sight amidst these pastoral and bucolic humans! Let us away, fair meatfellow, and earn the glory of heroes! This day, you brush your tooths amongst the stars! We fly!” The entity lurched forward and embraced Godsall, then activated its jetpack. The resultant sonic boom shattered every item of glassware within a 300-meter radius as SCP-1233 accelerated to a projected velocity of 25,000 kilometers per hour within approximately four seconds, ascending into low orbit with Godsall in tow. Due to the unexpected timing of this event, observational satellites were unable to properly focus upon SCP-1233 during the early stages of its exit trajectory. As such, Godsall's presence and status were unable to be visually confirmed.

After the amnesticization of all Hereford citizens witnessing this event, Godsall was officially declared missing, then pronounced dead three months later. The condition and whereabouts of his remains are currently unknown.

Footnotes

1. Atmospheric Reconnaissance Global Observation System

2. Extravehicular Mobility Unit, a model of spacesuit worn by NASA and International Space Station crewmembers.

3. Slightly greater than Earth's surface-level escape velocity.

4. Between 7 and 30 kilometers

5. Shortest observed thus far approximately 30 minutes, longest 7 hours

6. Later identified by recovered security camera footage as Harry Godsall, 27

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