Item #: SCP-103-J

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: Due to budget cuts, monitoring of SCP-103-J has been outsourced to Illumination Intelligence Inc., which provides the Foundation with invaluable intelligence for a nominal fee. Similarly, Newton's Worldwide Orders has been contracted to examine Foundation sites and personnel for SCP-103-J infiltration and influence, and to make alterations as necessary to prevent further breaches.

As of 2006-06-06, Operation Declassify is in full effect. See Addendum 103-J-2 for additional details.

Description: SCP-103-J is a "secretive power elite with a globalist agenda" that intends to "eventually rule the world through an authoritarian world government".1 Agents of SCP-103-J (collectively designated SCP-103-J-1) present similarly to Foundation agents, except with subtly better cars, control over world affairs, and spouses. Under controlled conditions, SCP-103-J-1 can deadlift an average of 10% more weight than Foundation agents.

SCP-103-J-2 refers to a class of three-sided polygonal figures with largely unexplored esoteric, thaumaturgic, reality-warping, and otherwise spooky properties. Current evidence suggests that SCP-103-J-1 exude SCP-103-J-2 from their sweat glands as a way of marking territory, incorporating them into various objects, locations, and media. The presence of SCP-103-J-2 is the most reliable way of detecting the presence of SCP-103-J. SCP-103-J-2 is sometimes found alongside SCP-103-J-I, which [DAT EXPUNGED].

The primary threat posed by SCP-103-J is poorly understood, as their security is better than ours. It is the opinion of the O5 Council that SCP-103-J poses the risk of an FK-Class domination shift scenario. Destroying SCP-103-J is currently the top priority of the Foundation.

THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION IS RESTRICTED TO LEVEL FOUR PERSONNEL. UNAUTHORIZED ACCESS IS NOT POSSIBLE; THE PRESENCE OF THIS DISCLAIMER IS PURELY A MATTER OF TRADITION.

Addendum 103-J-1

+ INPUT CREDENTIALS

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The presence of SCP-103-J-2 has been confirmed in many currently-contained anomalies, suggesting that SCP-103-J has infiltrated the Foundation extensively. What follows is photographic evidence to this effect. For additional documentation, please access the Confirmed Sightings list.

SCP-184 may have additional instances of SCP-103-J-2. Further research is recommended.

As if 701-1 wasn't fucked up already.

SCP-103-J-2's power levels are increased by up to 33% under sufficiently spooky circumstances.

You know what, they can have this one.

Seriously?

Addendum 103-J-2

+ INPUT CREDENTIALS

- hunter2

Operation Declassify was initiated in 2006 with the aim of disrupting SCP-103-J's operations and neutralizing the threat it poses to the Foundation's ego. The goal was to kidnap, brainwash, and demoralize SCP-103-J-1 instances before killing them. The particular mechanism for this is outlined in Dr. Grayson's Proposal "Addressing Personnel Shortages Via Forcible Outside Recruitment".

Interview 103-J-289

Dr. Grayson: Ingenious, isn't it?

D-289: Uh-huh.

Dr. Grayson: You're already wiped from the public record, and your deaths have already been faked. Your employers took care of that for us.

D-289: Sure.

Dr. Grayson: Nobody will miss you. Much lower risk than those death row inmates that we used to use.

D-289: Right.

Dr. Grayson: And because you're already adept at survival, we don't run through so many of you.

D-289: That's nice.

Dr. Grayson: You really are the perfect disposable personnel. Wouldn't you agree?

D-289: Dr. Grayson, did you bring me here just to brag about how smart you are?

Dr. Grayson: Y— No, there's another reason.

D-289: Alright, what is it?

Dr. Grayson: You haven't been following the etiquette guidelines we assigned you.

D-289: That's because they're degrading.

Dr. Grayson: So?

D-289: You actually get a kick out of making us act like that?

Dr. Grayson: Just… follow them, or suffer the consequences. Understood?

D-289: [Sighs loudly, adopts Jersey accent] You fuckin' got it, doc.

Footnotes

1. New World Order (conspiracy theory). (n.d.) In Wikipedia. Retrieved September 18, 2016, from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_World_Order_(conspiracy_theory)