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Item#: 6318

Containment Class: keter

Secondary Class: none

Disruption Class: keneq

Risk Class: danger

Site-106's mess, following structural damaged caused by disturbance of SCP-6318.

Special Containment Procedures: Due to the infestation of SCP-6318, Site-106 has been evacuated, with its personnel stationed at other facilities in southern Florida. Personnel entering Site-106 are to wear anti-fungal biohazard protection and be accompanied by at least one Foundation psychometrist. All solid matter within Site-106 is to be assumed to be a part of SCP-6318 until otherwise proven by psychometric reading or physical sampling.

At no point should destruction testing on SCP-6318 material take place within Site-106; in the past, this has led to structural instability as SCP-6318 reacts to the destruction of a portion of itself.

Efforts to neutralize SCP-6318 are ongoing.

Description: SCP-6318 refers to Foundation Site-106 in Miami, Florida; more accurately it refers to a massive, anomalous fungal organism that has infested and near-perfectly mimicked all infrastructure, appliances and architecture in Site-106's main building, its containment warehouses, and the shipping areas for the Anomalous Item Request program. This transfiguration occurred some time between 2000 and 2022.

SCP-6318 is capable of altering its physical composition to mimic relatively complex items, such as LCD televisions and computer monitors, touch screens, and the RFID readers that grant admittance into Site-106. More frequently, SCP-6318 mimics infrastructure and furniture such as plumbing, electrical wiring, light fixtures, desks, chairs, and dinnerware such as coffee mugs. Items mimicked by SCP-6318 maintain the same physical properties when intact, with the anomalous properties only being revealed if they are damaged.

SCP-6318 is a parasitic lucrevore.1 Most lucrevores avoid the consumption of anomalous objects; by contrast, SCP-6318 appears to specifically seek out and feed on anomalous items located in the Procurement and Liquidation warehouses near Site-106. It disguises the consumption of these items by creating a non-anomalous duplicate using its biomass, similar to the process that it has used to consume and replace Site-106.

It is currently believed that SCP-6318 does not consume living organic tissue (e.g. Foundation personnel). However, until such a time that SCP-6318 can be communicated with and/or neutralized, Site-106 is considered lost. Due to logistical issues relating to the containment of and access to anomalous items, Procurement & Liquidation is currently operating at satellite facilities in Southern Florida, at a severely reduced capacity.

Discovery: SCP-6318 was discovered following a series of complaints made to the Anomalous Item Request program that non-anomalous items had been delivered to their intended recipients; particularly, several items created by William 'Billy' Stokes, an anartist from Findlay, Ohio, were reported to have lost anomalous properties prior to receipt. Agent Daniel Navarro2 investigated one of these objects, and his findings alarmed the Department of Procurement and Liquidation.

Agent Navarro is standing in a laboratory alongside Agent Digby Du Bois within Site-106. On the table before them is a piece by Billy Stokes, a crude clay object resembling a duck.

Agent Navarro: Right, this is AO-923844, 'Quackers', I think it was called? What does it do?

Agent Du Bois: Made you waterproof when you held it.

Agent Navarro: Doesn't sound very useful.

Agent Du Bois: No, I mean it. Waterproof. Water just bounced off your whole body. You could be immersed in it and not get wet. Wouldn't float, either. We tried to loan it out to a task force that specialized in aquatic operations, see if we could find a use for it, but when it didn't work…

Agent Navarro: Ah, Phi-19 get miffed easy. But let's look at it. You do your psychometry, I'll do my analysis.

Agent Du Bois puts his hands on the object and frowns, shutting his eyes and attempting to concentrate. After two minutes, he pulls away.

Agent Du Bois: That's weird.

Agent Navarro: What is?

Agent Du Bois: I'm… not really getting anything. Kind of a… neutral feeling.

Agent Navarro: Okay, so… what does that mean?

Agent Du Bois: One of two things: either the thing's alive, or it doesn't have any history I can latch on to for psych purposes.

Agent Navarro: That is weird. Hold on.

Agent Navarro places the sculpture on a sheet of paper and draws a thaumic sigil around it.

Agent Navarro: Now, this is going to disassemble it, but I can reassemble it easily enough. Literally just a split down the middle. I can fix it without damaging the anomalous properties.

Navarro activates the rite. Sparks fly as it fizzles.

Agent Navarro: What the… what? That should have… what?

Agent Du Bois: What went wrong?

Agent Navarro: This is… the ritual is meant to bisect clay items. Pottery, sculptures, that kind of thing. But it does so in such a way that it can be put back together. What…

Agent Du Bois: Maybe… it's not clay?

Agent Navarro: You people have done tests! What else would it be?

Agent Du Bois walks around the laboratory, running his hand across several items. Eventually, he stops at an empty cart meant for transportation of lab supplies. He raises an eyebrow.

Agent Du Bois: I'll be right back.

Agent Du Bois exits the room. He re-enters approximately six minutes later, carrying a fire axe.

Agent Navarro: …do I want to know?

Agent Du Bois: There are only two things in this room that give me the neutral sensation—the sculpture, and this cart. Don't want to smash that, so…

Agent Navarro: Yeah, no, you're not doing that.

Agent Du Bois: What? Why?

Agent Navarro goes over to a laboratory supply cabinet and retrieves gloves, safety glasses, and aprons.

Agent Navarro: This isn't Jackass, agent. There are safety protocols.

The agents put on the safety equipment. Following this, Agent Du Bois lifts the fire axe, and swings it down. The cart, which should be made from stainless steel, visibly gouges; a viscous, yellow liquid pours from the wound.

Agent Navarro: What the hell?

Agent Du Bois removes the fire axe with some difficulty. He inspects the wound.

Agent Du Bois: Is… is that…

Agent Navarro: Organic. Not animal matter. Maybe fungal?

Agent Navarro reaches out to take a sample. As his glove makes contact with the wound, the cart recoils and falls to the ground. The whole of Site-106 shakes, with lights flickering and equipment falling off of shelves. An evacuation alarm sounds; Du Bois and Navarro proceed to Site-106's exits.

A full survey of Site-106 was done following this event; based on samples taken, approximately 92% of the total mass of the Site was organic. Inspection of other Site-106 facilities revealed the same, necessitating the removal of all non-compromised equipment and anomalous objects. Foundation researchers are currently studying methods to neutralize SCP-6318 without destroying Site-106.

Addendum: Contact with PoI-6117-01: Two weeks following the evacuation, former Site-106 Director Jean Skeates was contacted by a civilian through means of communication normally only available through the Foundation. This civilian, who had previously been involved during the containment of SCP-6117 requested that Skeates meet him in a location of her choice. Skeates chose an eatery in Little Havana, Miami; the meeting took place in February of 2021.

Approximately one block away from the meeting place, Skeates activates her body camera. As she enters the cafe, a staff member greets her by name; almost immediately following this the video feed cuts, leaving only audio recording.

Skeates: I was wondering if you'd do that trick again. You don't change much in a decade, do you, Wally?

PoI-6117-01: Miss Skeates, I'm Wally to my friends. To you, I'm Walter St. John.

Skeates: If a friend of mine is to be believed, there's no 'John' in your surname, and you're no 'Saint' either. What are you, really?

PoI-6117-01: Tough to say. I was born lookin' exactly as I do today on August 13th, 1981. Right in front of all the video cameras that were recordin' Reagan signing a bill.

Skeates: Okay, no. We would have seen that, and suppressed it.

PoI-6117-01: Coupla things: firstly, even back then, live television was broadcast on a delay in case someone had a wardrobe malfunction or tried to shoot the president again. They cut the feed and Reagan ran me off-screen, you barely noticed.

PoI-6117-01: Secondly: you know how they say that Jeff Bezos is the richest man in the world?

Skeates: Yes?

PoI-6117-01: He ain't. He's the richest private citizen. There are royal families and dictators all over the world that think he's pocket change.

Skeates: Fascinating lesson in basic economics, Wally. Now, can we—

PoI-6117-01: In much the same way, Jeannie, the Foundation is the most powerful anomalous private organization. Get my drift now? You ain't the only game in town; hell, you're not even the biggest player. Now sit down.

Silence on the recording. Skeates is heard pulling out a chair and sitting down.

PoI-6117-01: Now. Ask your questions, I know you like doing that.

Skeates: Is this why you wanted to buy Site-106 from us? To prevent it from turning into a fungus?

PoI-6117-01: Honestly, main thing we wanted was the contract. The Site was a gamble; you'd picked up the pathogen a while back, but we weren't sure if it would infect you.

Skeates: When did we catch it?

PoI-6117-01: Let me think… when's the first time you brought in something from the PZGA?

Skeates: The what?

PoI-6117-01: The Polski Związek Grzybiarstwa Anomalnego.

Skeates: The… wait, the mushroom wizards from Poland? You can't be serious, they're harmless. We bought a credenza made by them from a yard sale in Warsaw back in 2006, but… it's not even the right genus. It's made out of goddamn live penicillin cultures!

PoI-6117-01: Harmless? Maybe. But communists— and former communists— can be careless, y'know?

Skeates: What would you have done, if you'd gotten it? The Site, I mean.

PoI-6117-01: We'd have allowed you to relocate, of course. We ain't monsters, despite what the BLMGTBQ crowd thinks.

Skeates: Now you're trying to offend me.

PoI-6117-01: Bein' politically correct only pays the bills in June, hon. Now, I can help you with this infestation, but on one condition.

Skeates: What?

PoI-6117-01: We got this little scheme cookin' up. We're minting exactly 397 non-fungible tokens, and we want each member of your Site to buy one.

Skeates: …I'm sorry, I must have had a break from reality just now. Did you just say you want everyone at my Site to buy cryptocurrency?

PoI-6117-01: And we'll drive the fungus out.

Skeates laughs for several minutes.

Skeates: Oh, you are the living end, Wally.

PoI-6117-01: They'll appreciate, I can guarantee it. We run off of Etherium—

Skeates: I need to order a drink to calm myself, because this is hilarious. Miguel, can I get a mojito over here?

A voice is distantly heard confirming her order.

PoI-6117-01: You seem friendly with the locals.

Skeates: Been meeting a friend here for dinner every week for… almost thirteen years, now. We wouldn't even have met if not for you.

Silence is heard on the recording.

Skeates: In fact, we were supposed to meet for dinner tonight, right after she gets off her shift. Which should be… oh, hello Florence!

'Florence': One mojito for you, Jeanie, and let me just take care of this capitalist—

PoI-6117-01: Son of a bitch!

A struggle is heard for several seconds, followed by a short yelp. Video feed is shortly restored as a woman with vitiligo, grinning with pointed teeth, snaps a small pendant in half and places it on the table, alongside a Blackberry phone. She looks directly at Skeates with blue-green eyes.

'Florence': Fuck that felt good. Now, uh… you ain't gonna torture him, are ya?

Skeates: Atypical Persuasion hasn't been welcome in Miami since '92. We just needed him thrown in a cell, and we needed you to get his phone.

'Florence': Why?

Skeates picks up the phone; the screen is locked, with an error message reading: PERMANENT DEADLOCK ENGAGED. ACCESS DENIED.

Skeates: Can't lock texts you've already sent, asshole.

With cooperation from the Telecommunications Monitoring Office, Procurement & Liquidation personnel were able to isolate several text messages PoI-6117-01 had sent from 2009 to 2022; while the recipients are encrypted with paratechnological systems that the Foundation lacks access to, the contexts of a pair of text exchanges seemed relevant to the current situation:

[NUMBER BLOCKED]

09/28/2008

Holy crap, they're stupid

Hey, Walt, you hear?

what the hell is it?

The Foundation bought the freakin' bankl

bankl*

bank**

Wait, the Bank? Like, the BSS?

No, Lehman Bros.

Of COURSE the BSS, Jesus.

do you want your site to crater when it goes public

i can make that happen if you don't get your ivy-league ass off the capslock key

Yes sir

But I just got off a conference call. Jeff and I were laughing our asses off

Don wanted to actually buy it. Got all pissy.

We had to explain to him why buying it was a bad idea!

boy was dropped on his head i swear to god

how long until they realize it's a white elephant?

Apparently the contract is already causing problems

Director sprained her ankle getting out of her taxi

i'll be damned. thought they were smarter than that

i give it until june for them to find the damn contract. the infestation… I don't think they'll ever notice.

'Cold' not cruel?

More like 'cold, not competent'

what was that.

did you just try to send me a meme?

son, you know my phone has memetic filters. i can't even listen to music on this damn thing

Just trying to test out a new function on my phone.

You need an upgrade, my guy.

Maybe I could get into the phone business?

[NUMBER BLOCKED]

01/22/2022

yo

yoo

yo rich dude txt me back

got some info for ya

you alive?

What the fuck?

Who are you?

How did you get this number?

fuckin harsh.

im the guy you have parked outside that hotel in miami

like a million people came running out two hours ago

now there are hazmat trux everywhere.

they're hasslin me to move my car

look this is good info can i get my pay

Oh, you're her.

Other sources confirm. Bitcoin will be in your wallet by the end of the hour.

YEET

hey am i gonna die

The bank won't have spread beyond the building. You'll be fine.

bank?

dude its a hotel

You're not paid enough to know what I mean.

Ask questions and I'm not paying.

k

sry dude

The building which formerly housed the BSS's corporate headquarters on the topmost floor.

From these, a hypothesis was formed that SCP-6318 had actually infested Site-106 following the Foundation's acquisition of the Bank of the Sunshine State; similar to SCP-6117, its anomalous properties were transferred to the Foundation upon purchase. However, investigation of other businesses and properties linked to the Bank — including the offices of Esoteric Ritual Services, LLC — failed to reveal any anomalous properties resembling SCP-6318. Eventually, Agent James Skeates and Director Jean Skeates dispatched themselves to the building which once housed the Bank of the Sunshine State's headquarters, in downtown Miami.

James Skeates activates his body camera in the lobby of the office building, facing the directory by the elevators. His mother, Director Jean Skeates, is accompanying him.

Agent Skeates: I don't need your help, mom.

Jean Skeates: This thing tried to get you twice. If there's an ounce of it left, I'm not gonna let it try a third time.

Agent Skeates: Okay. What's in its office now?

Silence as Agent Skeates reads the directory.

Agent Skeates: Sunny Channel Programming— wait, that's us! What the hell?

Jean Skeates: Oh for— I hate this organization's bureaucracy.

Agent Skeates: Goddamn O5s.

The Skeates enter the elevator and proceed to the appropriate level. They exit into the offices of Sunny Channel Programming, a start-up public broadcasting service; in reality, the offices served as a front company for a complex, multi-month mission being carried out by the Specialized Anomaly Recovery, Covert Operations Group. Skeates approaches the receptionist, an Agent Bethany Hannah, who is attending to the phones.

Hannah: Sunny Channel, please hold. Sunny Channel, can you hold please. Sunny Channel, hold please.

Hanna notices the Skeates.

Hannah: Oh, hello, I'm afraid we're not taking any visit—

Jean Skeates: Director Jean Skeates, Site-106, Authorization Number 00-106-03223.

Hannah: …I'm sorry?

Jean Skeates: They're valid. Check them.

Agent Hannah types in the credentials into her computer with one hand. Her other picks up a .357 revolver beneath the desk and aims it at James Skeates's legs. The gun is put away after the credentials are verified.

Agent Hannah: Son of a bitch. You do realize you could blow our whole operation here?

Jean Skeates: We'll make it quick.

Agent Hannah: Hold on.

Agent Hannah connects her phone to her superior officer.

Agent Hannah: Mr. Stetson, we have a Geraldine Pfifer here to see you.3

'Stetson': Send her in.

As the Skeates enter the main office, Agent Hannah speaks directly to James Skeates.

Agent Hannah: If you blow this op for us, you'll wish that I shot out your knee.

James Skeates doesn't respond, and vigorously rubs his forehead. Jean Skeates' body camera shows that his eyes are watering.

Agent Hannah: Hey, I didn't… is he okay?

Jean Skeates: Headache?

James Skeates: Like you wouldn't believe.

Agent Hannah: Okay, straight back, it's the—

James Skeates: Corner office. Been here before. I know.

Despite being in severe pain, James Skeates follows Jean Skeates to the corner office. There, they are met by Director 'Stetson' of the SAR/COG. The blinds in the office are drawn.

Jean Skeates: Right in our backyard, in a place we cleaned out and we weren't even notified.

Director Stetson: Director, while I appreciate what you're going through is difficult… why are you in my office?

Jean Skeates: Not technically yours. P&L bought out the company this whole floor belonged to back in 2008. Bank of the Sunshine State. Hear of it?

Director Stetson: We still find the pens when we clean sometimes. But what does—

Agent Skeates produces a crowbar concealed somewhere on his person.

Director Stetson: Where did that come from?

Agent Skeates begins hitting the wood paneling of the room with the crowbar.

Director Stetson: Hey! What the hell?!

Jean Skeates: Let him work.

Director Stetson: Work? He's tearing up the panelling! That's real—

A large section of the paneling falls away with a crunching sound. The material beneath is very brittle, and it largely disintegrates when it his the floor.

Director Stetson: —mahogany…

James Skeates continues attacking the wall, revealing an organic structure beneath. In contrast to the structure which makes up Site-106, the interior of the walls appears to be visibly rotted and liquefied. A final blow from Skeates destroys a large part of the wall, revealing the break room on the other side. Personnel are splashed with ichor from the impact, and are left staring stunned.

Jean Skeates: Headache gone, honey?

James Skeates: Sighing Mom… and yeah, it's gone.

The operations of SAR/COG were not disrupted, and are currently ongoing.

In 2008, the Department of Procurement and Liquidation acquired the failing Bank of the Sunshine State, a financial institution that had failed following the sub-prime mortgage crisis. Evidence recovered both from their former offices where SAR/COG had set up a field base, as well as other former BSS buildings, has shown that they are comprised of material similar to SCP-6318. Thus, SCP-6318's file has been updated.

Item#: 6318

Containment Class: keter

Secondary Class: none

Disruption Class: keneq

Risk Class: danger

Special Containment Procedures: Due to the infestation of SCP-6318, Site-106 has been evacuated, with is personnel stationed at other facilities in southern Florida. Personnel entering Site-106 are to wear anti-fungal biohazard protection and be accompanied by at least one Foundation psychometrist. All solid matter within Site-106 is to be assumed to be a part of SCP-6318 until otherwise proven by psychometric reading or physical sampling.

At no point should destruction testing on SCP-6318 material take place within Site-106; in the past, this has led to structural instability as SCP-6318 reacts to the destruction of a portion of itself.

Efforts to neutralize SCP-6318 are ongoing.

Description: SCP-6318 is a parasitic fungal organism which is capable of camouflaging itself as financial institutions, and operating as such. SCP-6318 appears to be sapient, but is incapable of communication. Its most recent manifestation, prior to Foundation acquisition, was as the Bank of the Sunshine State, a financial institution localized in South-East Florida; the structures of facilities owned and operated by the Bank of the Sunshine State are made up of material which resembles fungal tissue.

SCP-6318 is a parasitic lucrevore. Unlike other lucrevores, SCP-6318 specifically seeks out anomalous items to feed upon, digesting and replacing them with copies made of fungal matter that lack the original anomalous properties.

In 2009, during the sub-prime mortgage crisis, SCP-6318 was inadvertently purchased by the Foundation's Department of Procurement and Liquidation in an attempt to contain anomalies related to the Bank of the Sunshine State; the institution had been involved with several instances of anomalous activity in the Miami area since at least 1979. It is believed that the transfer of ownership caused SCP-6318 to migrate to Site-106, and infest it through as-of-yet not understood anomalous means, while leaving the buildings it formerly occupied to decay.

Since this time, SCP-6318 has converted Site-106 and its anomalous item storehouses into fungal tissue capable of mimicking inorganic material such as steel, concrete, electrical wiring, and plumbing, in order to feed off of valuable items contained at Site-106. This primarily manifests in the consumption of material in the anomalous item storehouses, which SCP-6318 disguised by altering both paper and electronic records that it had transfigured into fungal matter, which demonstrated its sapience.

As of March 2022, Site-106 is still considered lost.

History of SCP-6318: An organism similar to SCP-6318 had been speculated to exist by Foundation architectural biologists4 following the discovery of a lucrevore resembling a toy store manifesting in New York City's Times Square. At the time it was the largest known lucrevore specimen, feeding upon both money gained in financial transactions and merchandise sold within. After the liquidation of the company it was parasitizing, the lucrevore in question died, with its skeletal structure overtaken by a clothing store.

SCP-6318 is believed to be the offspring of at least one similar organism; the Bank of the Sunshine State was founded in 1955 as an offshoot of Lehman Brothers, before spinning off into an independent entity in 1969. Any anomalous properties Lehman Brothers may have possessed were never investigated, and the O5 Council has vetoed any attempt to investigate Nomura Holdings, which acquired Lehman Brothers's assets.

The first known involvement SCP-6318 had with the anomalous was discovered in 1979, following an outbreak of anomalous items in Miami, traced back to an antique store whose owner (whereabouts unknown) possessed a safety deposit box at the local Bank of the Sunshine State branch. Following the liquidation of ERS LLC, the BSS was considered a Group of Interest, monitored by Site-106. During the course of the 1990s and early 2000s, the BSS used anomalous items to attack Procurement & Liquidation personnel and their families; it is now speculated that the Foundation acquisition of SCP-6117-A in 2009 was an attempt by SCP-6318 to dismantle Site-106.

Addendum: Successful Containment of SCP-6318: On March 17th, 2022, a meeting was held between various Departments to attempt to contain SCP-6318. Among these were the Department of Procurement and Liquidation; the Department of Architectural Zoology; the Department of Surrealistics5; the Department of Mycology; and the Department of Iteration. An except from the meeting is transcribed below.

Personnel Present: Director Jean Skeates and Agent James Skeates, Procurement & Liquidation; Dr. Gertrude White, Architectural Zoology; Dr. No Plume, M.D., Surrealistics; Dr. Marta Krychowiak, Mycology; Dr. Theodore Ship, Iteration.

Director Skeates: Thank you for all coming on such short notice. Even you, Dr. Plume.

Dr. Plume: Where duty calls, the sun don't shine.

Director Skeates: …okay. You've all been briefed on the crisis, then. Does the Department of Mycology have any opinions?

Dr. Krychowiak: I have several contacts in the PZGA, and from this, I have some experience in… what's the term in English? Thaumo-mycology. I have looked at samples taken from the Site, and… it's like the whole organism is simultaneously a brain and a stomach. It resembles a mushroom genetically, but behaviorally, it's like a mold. I wish I could study it more closely.

Dr. Ship: There's a possibility we've considered to try to, at the very least, remove it from Site-106. We set up another Foundation Site under a one-use front, and then we have that front buy possession of Site-106.

Director Skeates: I'm not sure that would work. St. John, whatever he is, seemed to think that the anomaly wouldn't transfer to him and his holdings once he bought it from us. But even if we do manage to eradicate it… we'd have to rebuild the Site from the ground up. That could take months.

Agent Skeates: If we're going to need to rebuild anyway, couldn't we could try burning it down?

Dr. Krychowiak: We don't know how it would react to being burned. SCP-1658 has killed twenty people since book burning became in vogue again.

Director Skeates: Beyond that… Site-106 is tailor-made for the containment and liquidation of anomalous items. We'd have to be transferred, and our skillsets are very specialized, unless the Foundation has openings in accounting or starts up a department of antiquing. More to the point, I don't think Fire Suppression would be very enthused with us burning down a whole Site.

Dr. Plume: Such an awful joke.

Agent Skeates: Shut it.

Dr. White: Fungi are closer to animals than they are plants; as you can see, it's intelligent. Maybe we can have it abandon the structure and migrate elsewhere? It seems to be able to move between entities that 'own' it at will.

Director Skeates: We could risk exposing the whole Foundation to it. We have very few actual SCP objects contained at Site-106. Imagine if it infested 19, or 17, or… any other Site, basically.

Dr. Plume: Nifty!

Dr. Ship: And can we be positive it hasn't replaced any personnel? Or infected them in some way? We don't think it's poisonous, but for all we know, you and everyone in Site-106 could just be… copies of yourselves.

Agent Skeates: Thank you for the existential dread, doctor, but Mycology's tested us already. We're all human, thank god. It can't replicate us.

Dr. Ship: Even so…

Dr. Krychowiak: Perhaps you could try to pawn off the Site to the PGZA? My colleagues— my former colleagues would love to have a chance to study it.

Director Skeates: Again, we'd have to sell the whole Site and god knows what else therein. The Mushroom Picking Association may not be a hostile GOI, but it's still an exterior group. We can't be 100% sure that they'd be willing to give us back our anomalous items.

Dr. Plume: Mushroom lust, mushroom greed, mushroom gluttony, mushroom pride, mushroom envy…

Agent Skeates: Who let him in here?!

Dr. Krychowiak: Dr. Plume, please. We have more important things to be concerned with than with you listing off… fungal vices.

Agent Skeates: …sorry, what did you just say?

Dr. Krychowiak repeats herself.

Agent Skeates: One second.

Agent Skeates pulls out his phone.

Agent Skeates: Hey, Skippy? Where does the word 'fungible' come from?

Skippy.AIC: 'Fungible' is derived from the Medieval Latin phrase 'fungi vice', meaning 'to serve in place of'.

Agent Skeates: That's it, then. Thank you, Dr. Plume, for the idea.

Dr. Plume: Well, I wanted a retirement package anyway. Not supposed to give ideas, they'll push me out the door for sure…

Dr. Krychowiak: I'm not sure I follow.

Agent Skeates: 6318, it's not just a fungus. It's a fungible fungus. It's perfectly replaced, and is serving in place of, almost every fixture in Site-106.

Dr. Plume: That joke was old the first time you used it.

Silence in the room, with light sounds of confusion.

Dr. Plume: Wait, nevermind. I forgot I was in surrealistics, not pataphysics.

Agent Skeates: …right. Point is, I think we have a way to neutralize it. But it's… not necessarily going to be pleasant.

Director Skeates: Let's hear it.

Agent Skeates: We have to make Site-106, and everything therein, non-fungible. And… well, P&L did start monitoring cryptocurrency in 2019, after the whole thing with Amazon. So…

Dr. Plume: Ah, yes, the great Grubhub Hubbub.

Director Skeates: Are you telling me that we're going to mint NFTs of the Site?!

Agent Skeates: If anyone else has better ideas, I'd like to hear them. It's a lucrevore. It eats valuable things. But it can't eat things that it doesn't have access to, and I'd like to see it try to infiltrate a Foundation-made blockchain.

Agent Skeates submitted a formal proposal for containment of SCP-6318; by April 1st, 2022, it was implemented.

Item#: 6318

Containment Class: neutralized

Secondary Class: none

Disruption Class: none

Risk Class: none

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-6318 is contained through use of SCP-6318-A instances. Maintenance should be carried out as necessary as SCP-6318 shrinks in mass.

The Department of Mycology has opened a branch at Site-106 to study the recession of SCP-6318. Live cultures are in the process of being shipped out to other Foundation Sites for study, before the main mass is rendered inert.

Description: SCP-6318 is a fungal lucrevore which is currently infesting Site-106 and all of its facilities. Prior to the implementation of current containment procedures, SCP-6318 had replaced the majority of matter within Site-106 with its own biomass. However, due to the implemented containment procedures, its growth has stopped, and it is beginning to recede; currently, 82% of Site-106 is made of fungal matter.

SCP-6318-A instances are non-fungible tokens depicting Site-106 and various items therein, including anomalous items in containment, personnel, and Site-106 itself. The blockchain that SCP-6318-A instances operate on is Foundation-operated and powered by renewable energy. Through an as-of-yet unclear mechanism, SCP-6318-A instances have made Site-106 itself non-fungible, and as such, are slowly eradicating SCP-6318.

An SCP-6318-A instance, tied to Site-106 as a whole.

Footnotes

1. Lucrevores are organisms which feed off of valuable goods, ranging from physical currency to 'liquid' assets located in a bank account, and items which the organism deems valuable, which can range from jewelry and artwork to collectable items to human organs. Organisms similar to SCP-6318 have been encountered in the past, and account for approximately 7% of all unsolved thefts in the United States alone.

2. A former member of an anartist group and expert in anomalous artworks.

3. Foundation codephrase indicating unscheduled visit from Site-106 personnel.

4. Personnel who study organisms that resemble buildings; the three major divisions are architectural zoology, architectural botany, and architectural mycology.

5. The representative of this department was not invited to the meeting, and when asked to present credentials, shoved a live platypus into the hands of the agent guarding the room. The agent allowed this representative entrance regardless.