FROM: Director Maria Jones, Recordkeeping and Information Security Administration

TO: SCP-076-B

SUBJECT: Re: Change my file to this do it

Able,

Revision request denied with vehemence.

On a related note, you are currently breaching containment. Please turn yourself over to the nearest MTF Nu-7 outpost, or face additional verbal reprimands.

- Maria

Item: Able ben Adam

Object Class: By Grace Of Lord Enlil King Of Kings Grandchild Of God Master Of All Smasher Of Thousands Better Than You At All Things

Special Containment Procedures: Able is to never be contained by the Slave-Cattle-People which we are, for we are not Able writing this we are less than dirt slaves. By writing this we acknowledging Able is better than us forever and ever, please step on our faces Able. Due to the fact that Able is supreme master godhead of all slave-mortals, please be bowing all of your heads toward his body immediately.

Able is to be allowed design new fair and just laws to govern the people-cattle that you all are being forever and ever. Laws are to be recorded on clay tablet to be displayed in town square underneath Great Ziggurat of Able.

LAW |: All articles on computer boxes will be translated to cuneiform because cuneiform make more sense and easier to read, this is law.

LAW ||: Able will be give at least ||||||||||||||||||||| meat-slaves every hour for target practice, enjoyment, enjoying target practice, kill people is good exercise.

LAW |||: CAIN THE GUD-ALIM-ŠE HU-RU GÉME-MAŠ WEASEL BASTARD IS SENTENCED TO DEATH BY SCAPHISM12

LAW ||||: All pigs of Able fed better food than people at all times. Humbaba especially likes eat bacon. (Humbaba is odd pig but deserves love of all meat-slaves and also Able.)

Failure to obey laws will result in AK-class Able-Demonstrate-To-You-What-Scaphism-Is scenario.

Description: ABLE STRONG

Addendum | - Declaration From Dutiful And Obedient Meat-Slave:

Hello I am a dutiful and obedient meat-slave and before Able puts his mighty all-devouring weapons of death into my face and laughs at the juices coming from my opened wounds, I will offer my findings on the body of Able, which I have completed using science things and computer shrine boxes.

With this science information and numeral datas which I have compiled, I can confirm that Able Strong. In fact, Able VERY Strong.

That is all. I will die now because I am coward. Do not mourn my passing.

- Dutiful And Obedient Meat-Slave Who Is Now Dead

Addendum || - Declaration From Deposed And Weak O-|||||-|| People-Cattle Herder:

Greetings to you who are weaker than Able. It has coming to attention that some are being claim that Able writes this document. While Able is strong and better than all meatslaves who dwell in mortality, Able has no way of access to computer shrine boxes. Stop saying you that Able writes article of this.

Obey Able's commands, for Able is stronger than fastest mountain and taller than wisest river, praise be on his muscles.

- O-|||||-||

Footnotes

1. Note |: O Able who are wiser than smartest cow, forgive my profound ignorance, what is scaphism? - People-Cattle Researcher Man

2. Note ||: Able has graciously and mercifully informed me what is being scaphism, also do not google this, O Ishtar how my stomach laments toward the floor. - Same People-Cattle Researcher Man