Item#: SCP-5288

Containment Class: keter

Secondary Class: phenomenon

Disruption Class: ekhi

Risk Class: warning

Several instances of SCP-5288 captured over a 12-month period from an online retailer.

Special Containment Procedures: Identification of instances of SCP-5288 is relegated to MTF-799 ("Ecommerce"). The taskforce is required to data mine all English-language retail web sites on the internet, and identify potential instances of SCP-5288 with the assistance of machine learning software. Potential instances of SCP-5288 must be deleted immediately, either by triggering hidden scripts in the web site's code written or injected by Foundation agents, contacting Foundation assets placed in the company for that purpose, or in the case of smaller retail web sites, via database infiltration software. In the rare event that this procedure fails, remote operatives may be deployed to locations where the web site in question is hosted in order to connect to the database directly - or, if necessary, destroy the servers and/or facility.

Description: SCP-5288 is an anomalous entity that manifests in the form of unusual online "one star" reviews. These reviews appear on common household items, lawn care, cleaning, automotive products, as well as several other wide-ranging retail products. SCP-5288 only manifests on English-language retail web sites, but has manifested on retail web sites ranging from small, low-quality merchandising sites based in China to some of the largest retail web sites frequented by millions of users, including Amazon, Target, eBay, and Overstock. Instances of SCP-5288 have been detected 4-6 times a week since their first discovery in June of 2012. To date, over 1500 instances of SCP-5288 have been observed.

Each anomalous review, posted by a user whose name will never actually be present in the site's user database, will follow a generally standard format:

It will usually begin with the phrase "One Star!" or some misspelling thereof.

It will contain a sentence explaining the expected behavior of the item

It will be followed by a way the item failed or an unexpected result of its use.

If the review is allowed to persist without deletion, two anomalous effects will begin to occur.

First, after a period of time between 24 and 48 hours, real-world objects matching the description of the item offered for sale will begin to fail in the same manner as described in the review. This effect can impact products anywhere in the world, and will do so at random. The frequency of this effect increases the longer the review is allowed to persist. This effect has only been reported to manifest in items already purchased by the consumer.

Second, the review will spontaneously update within that time, resulting in a similar review which features more typographical errors and use of uppercase, sometimes in random patterns. The "unexpected" effect of the item will also increase in severity, often involving side effects that could cause injury or death to nearby people. Reviews will also begin to reference depression, loneliness, and the deaths of children. If allowed to persist these reviews can become almost incomprehensible. After several iterations, the instance will eventually self-terminate (see Addendum 1).

▶ Addendum 1: Example of a full life-cycle of an instance of SCP-5288

▼ Addendum 1: Example of a full life-cycle of an instance of SCP-5288

An instance of SCP-5288 was detected on a handmade item with less than 20 units sold since being introduced to the market via a user-driven retail storefront on Etsy. Foundation agents were deployed to "recall" the item and administer Class C-Amnestics to buyers as well as prevent further orders from being fulfilled. All units but one were destroyed. The remaining unit was placed into an underground containment unit at Site-23 while the instance of SCP-5288 was monitored remotely by Foundation personnel. It is believed this is the only record of the full life-cycle of an instance of SCP-5288.

The item in question was a handmade dog chew toy made of interwoven polyurethane and nylon cord braided together with a large wooden bead. The item measured 12cm in length and had a retail price of USD$18.79.

Intial instance text, 0 hours

Review: ★☆☆☆☆ One Star! I thought this would be a fun treat for my dog, but instead it caused my dog to vomit and bleed from the mouth.

Observation of item: No change.

First update, 31 hours

Review: ★☆☆☆☆ One star! I expected that mt dogg would have fun plauying with this, but I did not thinke that it woukld leak noxious gas. I think it is mustard gas? gROSS

Observation of item: Object appeared to emit smoke, which quickly dissipated, leaving no trace.

Second update, 43 hours

Review: ★☆☆☆☆ One star! while i orderred a very fun tyoy for my puupper, I found out to my HRORROR that having this toy IN the house would cause ANGRY raSH for EVERyone in the HOIIUSE, inCLuding my chILdRen. i could not get my 5 yearOLD to stop screaming, can anYONe heaR me

Observation of item: Object did not have any noticeable changes. Two Foundation personnel stationed near the object's containment unit reported to medical facilities complaining of severe rash. They were later treated by emergency medical personnel and suffered fatal anaphylactic reactions.

Third update, 62 hours

Review: ★☆☆☆☆ ONE staaaar! evven thOUGHD I THOUHGT THIs was A dogTOY, , I DIS NTOT EXPECT the TOy to SHOT OUT SHARPNELL. it KILLED my dog, my chILDREN.. I am SCARED, they will NOT wake UP i keep TRYING, is aYNEONE

Observation of item: Object began to rapidly emit shards of metal at projectile speeds. Ejected metal dissipated after several hours, but extensive damage to the interior of the containment unit remained.

Fourth update, 87 hours

Review: ★☆☆☆☆ UN STEAR! ALL I WANTed wasA TOY FOR MY -PET, BUT THE toy BEGAN TO scREAAAAMMMM, IT SCREAMED, I SCREAMED, MY CHILDRENM SCREAMED, IT WAS SO LOUD, I COULD NOT stop IT, THEY scrasmA until their lUNGs gva eOUT, we could not tKAE it ASNDYMORE, WWe DIed in AGONFY, PLEASE help me I CANNOT get Them to WAKE up, they HAVE to get to SCHOOL

Observation of item: Object began to emit a scream, measuring 187 decibels. Site-23 suffered catastrophic architectural failure due to damage by sonic waves. Local Foundation personnel had been temporarily evacuated; D-Class personnel up to 900 meters away suffered tissue ruptures and cranial bleeding that was fatal within minutes.

At this point, the instance of SCP-5288 self-terminated. The object in question was destroyed and testing of future instances of this SCP was suspended.

▶ Addendum 2: Researcher concerns

▼ Addendum 2: Researcher concerns

To: █████████████

From: Dr. Windholtz, Project Manager, MTF-799

Subject: Future of the project

Dr ████████,

I would like to express that I have concerns about the future viability of this task force. At the time of this writing, there are over 110 thousand English-language retail web sites on the internet, indicating a growth of almost 30% over the last 5 years. Right now, between our software and analysts, we're keeping up with it. But the web is growing exponentially. Retail sites are being coded and deployed by reseller scripts at increasing rates. All it would take is one instance on a super-obscure site somewhere missed, and thousands—hundreds of thousands!—of people could be in danger. We need a more permanent solution for containment.

Thank you.

Dr. Windholtz