Item #: 063-J

Object Class: Not Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-063-J is to be stored in a standard issue Foundation Aquatic Containment box. During the winter months, SCP-063-J may be checked out for experimentation with explicit permission from O5-2. Due to previous frequent containment breaches, at no point during the summer is SCP-063-J allowed to be removed from its container.

Description: SCP-063-J is a surface made of poly-vinyl chloride resin with topological genus 0. When filled, SCP-063-J most closely resembles a sphere. Attempts to characterise the shape of SCP-063-J while empty, beyond trivial topological classification, are ongoing but have been described as "frustrating" and "pointless".

The anomalous properties of SCP-063-J manifest in two distinct effects. The first is that any individual that is made aware of SCP-063-J undergoes a compulsion to bring it to the immediate vicinity of the nearest large body of water that the individual deems 'clean'. This effect appears to be seasonal. The second is that SCP-063-J cannot be classified as Euclid.

Jr. Researcher Riemann was recalled from his vacation to investigate the second anomalous effect.

Prompt
Test
Result

Jr. Researcher Riemann was asked to fill SCP-063-J.
Inflated SCP-063-J halfway before running out of breath. Took a 5 minute rest then continued.
Success.

Jr. Researcher Riemann was asked to classify the geometry of a filled SCP-063-J.
Spent seven hours trying to draw two parallel lines on SCP-063-J.
Failure.

Jr. Researcher Riemann was asked to draw a triangle with angles adding up to 180 degrees on SCP-063-J.
Spent four hours drawing before running out of sharpie ink.
please it's a beach ball

+Jr. Research Riemann Note

- Close

Ok I don't know how many times I have to explain this. Just because things are non-Euclidean doesn't mean they're anomalous or spooky! So what if you can't draw parallel lines on it or sum the angles of a triangle to 180! It's a beach ball! There are so many other interesting geometries! Like hyperbolic! Or Seifert Fibers! And look, I've been thinking about one that tracks the inner product on an arbitrary smooth manifold and

Update: Jr. Researcher Riemann's access to SCP-063-J has been revoked, because something is wrong with him. Jr. Researcher Riemann is also no longer allowed to talk about esoteric geometries.