Look at all these people having fun! Everything is okay!

Item #: SCP-010-J

Object Class: Completely harmless, stop asking

Special Containment Procedures: No containment procedures are necessary, as SCP-010-J is not a threat and nothing to worry about. SCP-010-J is to be peacefully observed from Area-399, which has been designated a no-panicking zone under penalty of termination.

Hell, we don't even know what it is, nor do we need to, but we know for certain that it isn't going to hurt anyone, and talking about it is a total waste of time! Oh, well, I guess you'll have to look at some other article that isn't this one. Now.

You are 500 times more likely to be shot execution-style in a back alley by this newt than be harmed by SCP-010-J. That's science.

Description: SCP-010-J is an unimportant entity that is not going to turn anyone's iteration of reality into a lifeless blob of primordial sludge. It is not cognitohazardous, not infohazardous, non-toxic, and does not even technically exist.

Contrary to dangerous and libelous rumors, SCP-010-J is not made of black holes, as that would mean we'd already be dead, right? Right?! I didn't think so. You can stop worrying about it being made of black holes. I said stop!

Look at the fuzzy kitty! He's not worried! Why should you worry? Haha! Hahahaha! HAAHAAAAHAHAAA—

Addendum: A request has been sent to O5 command to quell any fears people have about SCP-010-J and the giant [DATA EXPUNGED] that it may or may not have in its tendrils, as it's not going to hurt you and frankly it wishes we would all leave it alone.

Unfortunately, O5 command has responded by beginning summary terminations of all staff at Area-399 for entirely unrelated reasons. Maybe they just like shooting people! Well, they won't shoot you, so you have nothing to worry about, so go ahead and have a nice, safe day like the rest of us!