Item #: SCP-2858

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2858 instances are to be stored in individual lockers located in Site-43's Low-Value Anomalous Items wing. MTF Β-2 ("Bubble Trouble") are currently responsible for monitoring the appearance of SCP-2858 instances, following the criteria supplied by the Department of Meta-Analysis study.

Following the events of Addendum SCP-2858-1, a public telephone number has been set up under the guise of a companion marketing campaign for the "horror special" which aired during the incident. Those possessing SCP-2858 instances have been encouraged to call the number for a monetary reward – should they possess knowledge of SCP-2858's anomalous properties, B-Class amnestics are to be administered.

Description: SCP-2858 instances are generic PVC soap pump bottles, with their only distinguishing features being the label on the front of the bottle and the composition of the "soap".

SCP-2858 instances do not appear to have any real-world source, despite their labelling (see below for further details). Civilians who receive SCP-2858 instances report them being delivered by an anonymous sender – Foundation tracking of the packages reveal that they are inevitably sent from one of many Foundation front companies, despite no records of such deliveries existing.

The Department of Meta-Analysis has determined that the frequency of SCP-2858 appearance is directly proportional to:

the local population of wasps

the percentage of the population below the poverty line

the number of prison inmates from the area with sentences over 20 years.

SCP-2858 instances are invariably labelled with the words "Neutrogena Wasp Cleanser". The label also states that SCP-2858 is produced by the non-existent "Stanford-Caldwell Pty. Ltd.", and provides a list of component chemicals that is always incorrect, usually featuring implausible or simply fictitious compounds.

While such labels usually appear similar to the labels of other contemporaneous Neutrogena products, Neutrogena has never manufactured a product named "Wasp Cleanser". When questioned, Neutrogena representatives stated that they had no intention to produce such a product any time in the foreseeable future.

The contents of SCP-2858 instances (designated SCP-2858-A) share few common features between them, aside from the fact that they are invariably light blue in colour. A short list of SCP-2858-A instances follows:

Instance #
Composition1
Physical Properties

18
Water, benzene, disodium laureth sulfosuccinate, Brilliant Blue FCF, acetic acid
Has a pH of approximately 1.5. Despite this, when applied to human tissue, it failed to react as expected. Subjects who used the product for extended periods of time reported minor redness and skin irritation. Apparently used for dissolving foreign matter within pores.

23
Water, citric acid, rennet, salt, indigo dye
Although the substance was able to be dispensed by the soap bottle as normal soap would, it otherwise behaves like a highly adhesive and stretchable solid. Appears to be intended for use by stretching the soap over an affected area, allowing it to adhere, and then removing it quickly, dislodging any foreign objects within the pores.

27
Water, ethanol, sodium bicarbonate, nitric acid, dichlorodiphenyltrichloroethane, cobalt blue
When applied to the body, an aerated solution of blood plasma and DDT erupts at high velocities from all pores that make contact with the solution. This has been shown to continue for up to 3 hours. D-1239 reported it was a "refreshing" experience, despite showing symptoms of severe hypovolemia.

31
Milk, lapis lazuli, glycol distearate, apatite
Upon application, pores that made contact with it expanded to approximately 13 times their previous size, before several tooth-like structures began developing. These structures were able to grind an inserted steel needle into fine powder. Pores sporadically contracted and expanded for seven hours before the dissolution of the tooth-like structures, during which time the subject's body returned to normal.

Addendum SCP-2858-1: On the 25th of March, 2014, a commercial advertising SCP-2858 was broadcast on multiple popular American television channels from the hours of 4:00 AM to 4:11 AM. When questioned, employees of the broadcast station reported no memory of the advertisement ever being aired. Due to the low-visibility nature of the incident, disinformation protocols were successfully put into place and the commercial passed off as a one-off horror special. A transcript follows.

[The commercial begins on a close shot of an unidentified woman's face – the text overlay gives her name as "Cynthia Durham" – before zooming out to reveal her sitting on a stool, wearing a white labcoat.]

00:00 Durham: Here at Neutrogena, we know when wasp infestation strikes, you need to fight back fast.

[It then cuts to Durham making a punching motion at the camera, before returning to the previous shot.]

00:10 Durham: So when they break out of your body, you need to make sure they stay out.

[Durham produces an SCP-2858 instance from a table beside her and shows the label to the camera, which zooms in on the label. Notably, her arms are covered in multiple red welts.]

00:20 Durham: Introducing the new Neutrogena Wasp Cleanser.

[Cut to three ostensible instances of SCP-2858 in center frame. Unusually, only one such instance is a pump bottle, the others being a small tub of cream and what appears to be a spray bottle. The scene then cuts back to the previous shot.]

00:35 Durham: We recognise that wasps don't just go away overnight, so we've developed a three-step solution to the problem. The first step is the lotion, specially designed to counteract the infestation fast.

[The scene then changes to a view of another woman in an orange jumpsuit. The woman has multiple red abscesses on her face and is applying SCP-2858-A to the affected area by rubbing the welts with the solution. As the scene progresses, the abscesses become noticeably larger and more swollen.]

00:51 Durham (V.O.): Get the wasps out of your system quickly and painlessly!

[The abscesses then burst to reveal multiple wasp larvae, which the woman then picks out and flicks away. The scene then cuts back to Durham sitting on the stool, now holding a small tub of cream.]

01:03 Durham: The next step in the treatment is the trademark topical cream. No matter how deep the wasps get into your system, I guarantee that Neutrogena's patented cream can get them out!

[Again, the scene cuts back to the abscessed woman, currently applying the cream to the rest of her body, concentrating on the extremities.]

01:12 Durham (V.O.): Within just a few minutes, we can root them out in less time than ever before!

[It is currently believed that the cream displayed on-screen has similar effects to SCP-2858-27, as evidenced by the emission of large quantities of unidentifiable fluid. Said fluid contains small foreign objects, presumed to be wasp nymphs. The camera then cuts back to Durham, holding the spray bottle.]

01:23 Durham: And because you don't want any pesky wasp fragments sticking around in your body, we've developed the perfect way to get them out with a formula – all new and improved with the aid of our helpful test subjects!

[The scene changes to show the unidentified woman inhaling the contents of the bottle. After coughing heavily, the woman then begins to exhale significant quantities of smoke, before then exuding smoke from her eyes, ears and nostrils.]

01:36 Durham (V.O.): It doesn't just get rid of any loose bits of wasp, but also makes sure that they stay out.

[The woman slowly ceases emitting smoke and shakes her head vigorously, dislodging multiple small black particles assumed to be fragments of wasp body. She then sweeps them off her face and turns to smile at the camera, before the scene cuts away to Durham once more.]

01:47 Durham: And now, for some celebrity testimony.

[A clip of a man identified as popular musician Beck in text overlay then appears. His face is similarly abscessed, and the welts appear to have spread to his hands and wrists. Notably, he appears to be wearing a green star pendant, typically associated with members of GoI-005 ("Fifth Church").]

01:59 Beck: Uh, thanks to the Neutrogena Wasp Cleanser treatment, I was able to get rid of my wasp infection within the first week of beginning treatment. I'd been trying for weeks to find an antivespid cream that worked fast and was hypoallergenic, so when they came to me and offered the chance to try out this product, I sprang for it immediately.

[A before and after image of Beck then appears, showing profile images of his face – in the "Before" image, an abscess hosting a developing wasp can be seen, midway through the process of the wasp breaking out, as well as multiple small boil-like growths on his neck and cheek. Said growths have mostly disappeared in the "After" image, instead being replaced by red blotches of skin.]

02:09 Beck (giving the thumbs up at the camera): No other product works better, and remember, because wasps die in three easy treatments, the world endorses this in fives.

Following the conclusion of this advertisement, civilians who had received SCP-2858 instances prior to containment received gift vouchers for (non-existent) Neutrogena products ostensibly also aimed at treatment of wasp-related conditions. Notably, said vouchers thanked the recipients for their efforts in "solving the shortage", although what this shortage was remains unclear.

Footnotes

1. Note that this section covers only identifiable compounds.