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This is the outcome of Twitch Writes an SCP, Crom's April 1st project for 2024. Following the success of Twitch Plays Pokémon, a group of valiant authors on Twitch spent the evening writing an SCP, meticulously arguing and deciding on the outcome of every new word. After approximately 12 hours of "writing", the finished SCP is presented here (with minor changes to add bold where needed). Originally, this page showed the article as it was being written, with each change causing this page to update in real time!

Item #: SCP-8988

Object Class: Uncontained

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-8988 must be administered estradiol valerate1 bi-weekly and provided a standard Foundation-issue Blåhaj. Personnel are encouraged to report all sightings of SCP-8988 to Site Director Vriska Williams.

Description: SCP-8988 superficially resembles a Southern long-nosed armadillo (Dasypus Hybridus) possessing an abnormally elongated abdomen. During a full moon, SCP-8988 undergoes a metamorphic process, emerging from its carapace as an immense humanoid with mechanical augmentations resembling automatic paraweaponry. After 24 hours, its form reverts only if sufficient estradiol has been administered. Otherwise, it will exhibit defensive behavior, attempting to curl into a ball unsuccessfully, involuntarily activating its integrated paraweaponry systems.

SCP-8988 is sapient and capable of speech, referring to itself as "Meryl Mechanicus". Its musculature is pronounced and highly adaptable when humanoid. SCP-8988 demonstrates incredible aptitude for benching heavy weights and tactical combat, but prefers pacifism. Its origin is as-yet-uncertain, although lunar surveys indicate deployment from an undetermined point on the far side of the Moon, near an anomalous Mekhanite hormone factory.

Addendum-8988-1: Interview Log

[BEGIN LOG]

Dr.Flanders: Why are you so buff?

SCP-8988: Baby, I was designed according to these specifications set by WAN Herself. Also, drugs.

Dr.Flanders: But who is WAN?

SCP-8988: Transgender.

[END LOG]

Afterword: Here's where we derailed.

Praise WAN.

Addendum-8988-2: Pataphysical Implications and You

Research has indicated that unusual sharks are becoming SPC-8988 instances, a species of sapient blåhaj. They love women, money, and crabs. SPC-8988 is aware of its origin as the messiah of trans joy. According to all known laws of Pataphysics, SCP-8988 should die…! However, it is protected by love from SPC-8988 and the Twitch Chat.

Footnotes

1. Standard dosage for a human adult of equivalent size.