Item#: 3902

Containment Class: safe

Secondary Class: none

Disruption Class: dark

Risk Class: caution

Digital recreation of SCP-3902 packaging.

Special Containment Procedures: All SCP-3902 instances are to be placed in Standard Food Refrigerative Storage. The respective Site Director is to be notified of the manifestation of SCP-3902 in Foundation Sites.

Three SCP-3902 instances unwrapped.

Description: SCP-3902 is a nut and chocolate nutrition bar with packaging resembling an edited version of the Anomaly Classification System. This packaging advertises SCP-3902 as "anomaly class bar" created by the para-entrepreneur "dado". 30 minutes after SCP-3902 is fully consumed, the subject will expel a piece of paper from their mouth1 listing several statements about the subject each in a format resembling SCP Foundation Object Class Designation.

Statements recorded are universally correct and/or will be correct. Once any individual has read the paper fully, several bones, organs, or objects of monetary value present on the subject will disappear. These disappearances are described in the expelled paper.

Discovery: SCP-3902 was discovered after spontaneously replacing Skittles in all Foundation vending machines on 8/22/19. Along with this, a box of 100 SCP-3902 instances was recovered under the desk of Site-81 Director Jean Karlyle Aktus alongside the following note:

dear mr blue jeans,

hello yes i really like the new object class bar (this was link but dado print paper and now it is broke) you have made it is very good. carrier hamster told me all about it. very many lines and words which is good.

now, dado was wondering if we can capitalize on the notoriety of it yes. franchise system and make into anomaly class plushie, anomaly class car, anomaly class ladle, many more ideas. dado make the health bar as proof of concept. dado will take payment from people what eat the bars so no worry about cost for u

i need more franch to franchise so please get to me soon for the talking of business

sincerely,

dado

SCP-3902 instances were then confiscated and placed into current containment procedures.

Addendum: Test Log

Subject: Researcher Ronald Kaia

item #: 7,203,192,394

object class: euclid

distortion class: not very

risk class: has not gambled

organ width: varied

likelihood to eat an entire shoe: moderate

phone class: iphone air

amount of times touched hot stove: 13

average longevity of skin cells: 2 week

marriage class: a fair

Closing Statement: Researcher Kaia immediately attempted to call his wife only to find that his cell phone had disappeared.

Subject: D-2473

item #: #icommited3murders

object class: biology

rits class: has not eaten the rits cracker

aesthetic class: v a p o r w a v e

organ width: does not own fancy piano and also not kindey

special contraction procedures: can't isn't wasn't won't ain't

cell mate: right now probably

death class: precisely 8/23/19 12:30:02 from extreme internal bleeding

Closing Statement: D-2473 expired from internal bleeding resulting from the removal of the left kidney.

Subject: D-4573

item #: 0 bones

object class: no bones

bone class: none

bone class: none

bone class: none

bone class: none

bone class: none

bone class: none

bone class: none

bone class: none

shoe size: 7

bone class: none

bone class: none

bone class: none

bone class: none

bone class: none

Closing Statement: D-4573 was terminated 4 minutes after finishing the note and subsequently scraped off the floor. Janitorial staff were then amnesticized due to concerns of mental trauma.

Footnotes

1. Other orifices have been recorded.