SCP-5489: I, Nixon

Author: Dr Phil McClaw does not match any existing user name, an actual crustacean

⚠️ Content warning: This article doesn't contain a content warning. :)

Current instance of SCP-5489

Item #: SCP-5489

Object Class: Keter Integrated

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5489 does not leave the boundaries of Site-48. Personnel are cautioned to use discretion when discussing classified information while SCP-5489 is unaccounted for. When SCP-5489 is located, personnel are to pretend to be oblivious to the anomaly and use designated hand signal to notify site security. Security will determine on a case-by-case basis whether to move SCP-5489 from point of manifestation.

Edit 10/12/1996: SCP-5489 has currently taken residence in the Site-48 pool supply closet. Personnel are forbidden from discussing classified topics in pool area. Researcher Ustinov is instructed to continue counter-espionage campaign at least once per work day. Custodial staff have been instructed to refuse to acknowledge presence of SCP-5489 behind the locker.

Description: SCP-5489 is a covert listening device created by GoI-16 which has infiltrated Site-48. SCP-5489 is a passive cavity resonator1 with no power supply; when 'illuminated' by correct radio frequency identification2, audio data can be transmitted through SCP-5489 to a radio demodulator. Although this demodulator has never been recovered, and although ultra-high frequencies operate via line-of-sight propagation, it is believed that SCP-5489 is transmitting this data to points outside of Site-48. SCP-5489 is sapient, capable of spontaneous translocation, and cannot be contained at a fixed location. Item has the superficial appearance of a framed photograph of former US President Richard Nixon, which changes with every relocation event.

Addendum- Incidents: Item was discovered on 05/25/1989 by Officer Gomez. Object identified by CCTV to have manifested within right main elevator platform at 13:02. Unknown if object had infiltrated site prior to this.

05/25/1989

Location: Main Elevator

Personnel Present: Officer Tillerson, Officer Gomez

<Begin transcript>

<Officers Gomez and Tillerson enter elevator.>

Officer Tillerson: … So don't bitch at me about not getting you anything, you can go down to the break room yourself.

Officer Gomez: Okay, it's nothing.

<Officer Gomez makes visual contact with SCP-5489.>

Gomez: Hey, when did they put up a photo of Dick?

Tillerson: What?

<SCP-5489 translocates, leaving no trace.>

Gomez: What?

<End transcript>

Afterword: Officers reported event as a containment breach or potential reality restructuring.

Item was identified by search team multiple times with similar translocations as a result.

05/25/1989

Location: Evacuation Route A

Personnel Present: Commanding Officer Ian, Officer Rogan, Technician Sweikart

<Begin transcript>

<Technician Sweikart and Officer Rogan are participating in the search for uncontained anomaly. Officer Rogan makes visual contact with anomaly.>

Rogan: Okay, clear.

<Officer Rogan pages C.O. Ian and Tech Sweikart the following message: "anom between portraits in evac". Sweikart and Rogan vacate the vicinity and begin taking readings across the spectrum.>

Sweikart: [Whisper] No radiation from here. No heat.

Rogan: [Whisper] Do we get closer?

Sweikart: [Whisper] No, wait for C-O.

<Pause.>

Rogan: [Whisper] I'm getting closer.

<Officer Rogan nonchalantly enters room. Radiation instruments do not spike, and Technician Sweikart enters for further readings.>

Sweikart: So, uh… This hallway's really cozy, I think. Am I allowed to loiter here, normally, officer?

Rogan: Oh yes that is normal, with your normal radio.

<Technician Sweikart cycles the dial on his demodulator. Eventually, he reaches a signal which broadcasts both the audio from within Evac Route A as well as an unknown female speaking Russian. Technician pages Officer Rogan, two feet away, "should we get ustinov".>

Ian: [Entering] Alright, which picture is the little shit?

<SCP-5489 translocates, leaving no trace.>

Rogan: God dammit!

<End transcript>

Afterword: Data gathered-

Item does not emit radiation or heat;

Item has an internal cavity;

Item only responds to tactile and acoustic stimulus

Item continued to broadcast on same frequency after translocation

Object relocated to Research Office C#6. Office was vacated pending proper containment.

05/26/1989

Location: Office C#6

Personnel Present: C.O. Ian, Technician Sweikart, Researcher Ustinov

<Begin transcript>

<Researcher Ustinov is recruited to perform counter-espionage upon SCP-5489.>

Ustinov: [Whisper] No, yep. It's GRU alright. Straight said it.

<Pause for more counter-espionage.>

Ustinov: [Whisper] Yelled it. One of them is named Searchlight. Pissed that we're looking for their mole.

Ian: What the hell do they want here?

<Pause for more counter-espionage.>

Ustinov: [Whisper] Okay, the other guy is done yelling. He signed off.

Ian: Okay, how do we get the transmitter?

Sweikart: Don't barge in.

Ian: Alright, smart ass.

Ustinov: I have an idea.

<Ustinov enters C#6 with a demodulator to perform further counter-espionage. He slyly slinks into the seat below SCP-5489.>

Ustinov: [Whisper] Psst. Tovarich.

<Radio silence.>

Ustinov: [Russian] Don't fly off. You need to change frequency. 620. No little mice on that channel. Yet.

<Radio silence.>

Ustinov: [RU] Searchlight, hurry, before they find your spot again.

<Radio silence.>

SCP-5489: [RU] … Who is speaking?

Ustinov: [RU] My designation cannot be disclosed. Double blind espionage on this site. This is extreme circumstances, the device needs to be exfiltrated.

SCP-5489: [RU] They're not gonna catch me, I can stay. I will stay.

<End transcript>

Afterword: Researcher successfully kept SCP-5489 contained for over 40 minutes.

05/27/1989

Location: Wing B Restroom Stall #5

Personnel Present: Researcher Ustinov

<Begin transcript>

<Translated from Russian as necessary.>

Ustinov: Yeah, this is a good spot. A lot of socializing here. A lot of people with their guards down.

SCP-5489: Alright, as you say. When will Makerelov be here?

Ustinov: Oh, we'll see. You have a much easier time infiltrating this place, agent. Sit still. And please don't talk to Yuliy. He's also in on it, I've learned.

SCP-5489: Yuliy too!? That's the entire comms team!

Ustinov: Don't you think I'm as devastated as you?

SCP-5489: Why haven't you just gone to the higher ups? Just tell them our secure frequency.

Ustinov: I think it's better to lay low and keep our comms between you and me. I don't even have much confidence in Makerelov. If they find out that we found out, they could go to higher ups first. Let me find someone we can really confide in.

SCP-5489: I can wait.

Ustinov: Stay in touch. I only trust one person. You, Agent Searchlight.

SCP-5489: You too, Agent Lionwolf.

<End transcript>

Afterword: Researcher maintained charade for approximately eight months, corralling SCP-5489 into containment whenever necessary.

02/20/1990

Location: Conference Room #02

Personnel Present: Officer Rogan, Researcher Ustinov

<Begin transcript>

<Researcher Ustinov is attempting to negotiate SCP-5489 out of the room, but object is non-responsive and translocating around the room sporadically.>

Ustinov: … Come in, please. Searchlight, this is very urgent. Are you in distress?

<Radio silence.>

Ustinov: Please respond. The traitors are going to assault the Site to stop us from revealing their scheme! Tovarich, respond.

SCP-5489: Suka, you're a liar.

Ustinov: Searchlight, what's happening?

SCP-5489: I decided to check the original frequency last night. The project heads had an automated message. Telling me to look out for a triple agent who they know only as Dennis Ustinov. And I realized, it was you. You're not a combat engineer. You're an accountant.

Ustinov: No, Searchlight. Please don't tell me they've turned you. They're enemies of our Union!

SCP-5489: I thought you were my tovarich.

<SCP-5489 translocates, leaving no trace. Site-48 goes on lockdown to find item.>

…

Rogan: Okay, It's not in wing L. Proceeding to K.

Ustinov: Yep, I'm right behind you.

<Personnel scour walls for item.>

Rogan: So, has it ever told you why it's here?

Ustinov: She's a spy, obviously, and she's—

Rogan: She?

Ustinov: What? She's undercover. It's not like she's actually the president either.

Rogan: Well, okay.

Ustinov: She's supposed to be looking into a sleeper agent-supersoldier program we're supposedly developing.

Rogan: Us?

Ustinov: No, they're called the Reinforcers or something. She got the wrong Site-48.

Rogan: Are you ever gonna tell her?

Ustinov: No.

<SCP-████ in containment taps the glass divider to its cell. Ustinov notices SCP-████ pointing to SCP-5489 in the ventilation shaft above himself.>

Ustinov: [Gritting teeth] Jenny.

Rogan: [Clueless] Hmm…?

<Agent Ustinov frantically displays hand signal.>

<End transcript>

Afterword: SCP-5489 has ceased contact with Researcher Ustinov.

08/19/1991

Location: Canteen Freezer

Personnel Present: N/A

<SCP-5489 makes no contact with GoI-16 and for five consecutive days broadcasts a loop of Tchaikovsky's Swan Lake.>

Afterword: SCP-5489 resumes espionage operation in a reduced capacity.

10/09/1996

Location: Staff Break Room

Personnel Present: Researcher Ustinov

<Begin transcript>

<SCP-5489 translocates onto the table in front of Researcher Ustinov.>

Ustinov: … You're ready to talk? Why now?

SCP-5489: I'm sorry, Lionwolf. They really are all traitorous suk. All this time I've been duped.

Ustinov: You've seen the light?

SCP-5489: It seems. Yuliy was the last to go. They're all mercs, every single one. No dedication to a cause, not even this so-called "insurgency" they want me to defect to. Nyet!

Ustinov: Well don't you feel late to the party.

SCP-5489: Don't tell me you're jaded too.

Ustinov: I wouldn't tell you that. You and I can keep the mission up. The Union prevails, tovarich.

SCP-5489: What mission?

Ustinov: This is very classified. Go somewhere as isolated as you can, I'll meet you. The Union Prevails.

<End transcript>

Afterword: SCP-1974 is contained in the Pool Supply Closet.

10/12/1996

Location: Pool Supply Closet

Personnel Present: Ustinov

<Begin transcript>

Ustinov: Searchlight, do you copy?

SCP-5489: Copy, Lionwolf.

Ustinov: We're safe for now. As far as I know, Mr. A. Imalitovich isn't coming in today.

SCP-5489: To think all these years, and I never noticed Sweikart was an insurgent.

Ustinov: Blindsided me too. Searchlight, can I ask?

SCP-5489: What ask?

Ustinov: Just… Why Nixon?

SCP-5489: Nixon was the proof of concept, you see. We were supposed to roll out the program in 1974. But he resigned, and we had to go back to the redesign stage. Wouldn't be covert if the picture on your coffee table was the wrong president. When Theremin did that, though, he couldn't get it to work on Ford, or Carter, or even that pig Reagan. Just Nixon. Cannot explain why. So, we're just kinda working with what we had.

Ustinov: I think it still worked well. They love Nixon.

SCP-5489: Da.

Ustinov: Searchlight, I'm considering we enter deep cover. It's heating up between the Insurgents and the Foundation, right now we should be on the sidelines to that.

SCP-5489: What do you consider deep cover?

<Ustinov produces sleeves of vinyl records.>

Ustinov: You like rock and roll?

<End transcript>

Afterword: Technician Sweikart's personal record player relocated to Pool Supply Closet for ease of containment.

Addendum- Reclassification: Object is reclassified to Integrated to formalize its function as a transmitter for the Site-48 Recreational Radio Channel.

Footnotes

1. Device is surrounded by a membrane microphone composed of unknown material.

2. 610 to 640MHz