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

⚠️ Content warning: Depictions of Neglect, Cognitive Decline and Death

SCP-5578: A Terrible Thing To Waste by Monsoon Season, proofread by Dr Phil McClaw does not match any existing user name and technical support by Rhys Tanner.

⚠️ content warning

From The Desk of the Reintegration Committee

This file is currently under review by E-40 and E-12, heads of Reintegration Committee, regarding the present statute of the Pseudohuman Civil Rights Act. All Site-48 personnel must refrain from discussing this review with SCP-5578.

Effective 05/03/2017

—E-12, Office of the Ethics Committee

Item#: SCP-5578

Containment Class: pending

Secondary Class: none

Disruption Class: dark

Risk Class: notice

SCP-5578

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5578 is to be contained within its designated ‘light containment’ cell at Site-67 Site-48, Variant Wing B. It's chamber requires sound dampening paraphernalia and a sound system capable of playing vinyl discs and a catalogue of cassette tapes.1 During standard hours of operation, SCP-5578 must be routinely inspected and provided with maintenance as necessary to preserve its function. Additional paper, lubricant, replacement parts; qualified repair personnel are to be kept onsite at all times in the event of a jam, mechanical failure, or other obstruction to its operation.

Description: SCP-5578 is a Teletype Model 33 ASR (Automatic Send and Receive) electromechanical teleprinter. The machine has the ability to print messages dictated from a consciousness manifesting within the device. The anomaly does not require electrical power or a corresponding sending device in order to operate and will do so unimpeded as long as its other mechanical needs are met. Testing on the output of 5578 shows the paper and ink in its correct state with no anomalous qualities. It follows a ‘sleep cycle’ that begins at nightfall and ends at the next sunrise. This cycle persists independently of SCP-5578's exposure to timekeeping devices or sunlight.

The transcripts produced by SCP-5578 during its time at Site-67 were rambling and loosely formatted, seeming to be derived from domestic conversation interspersed with lines from music, literature, and popular media.

An example of SCP-5578's pre-discovery output can be found below:

+ Addendum #1

- Addendum #1

04/22/1992- Site-67 researcher Dr. Kelgood began a series of tests following an adverse reaction from SCP-5578 on 03/05/1992. A Site-67 security guard had been monitoring objects considered to be under investigation for previous anomalous behaviors. At the time, said security attempted to listen to a compact disk through the surveillance equipment terminal. The officer had intended to route the album “Dr. Feelgood” to a tabletop speaker via a 3.5mm audio cable, but accidentally played the music through the containment chamber's internal speakers instead. The reaction listed below was observed in the following moments. The music was active for approximately two minutes before they corrected their error.

When researchers recreated these conditions, SCP-5578 produced 168 characters per minute, significantly exceeding its typical output limitation of ~100 characters per minute. A sustained outburst of exclamation points filled nearly ten feet of paper, and, moments later, SCP-5578 ceased to function entirely. Once the music was removed, standard function resumed and SCP-5578 started to communicate again.

+ Addendum #2

- Addendum #2

Transcription Provided by Dr. █████ Kelgood: 05/12/1992

Kelgood: How are we doing today, 5578?

Kelgood: I just need to ask some basic questions. Like an introduction. Would you mind?

Kelgood: You can understand what I say, can’t you? Just like how I can understand you?

Kelgood: And I'm addressing one … person right now, right, 5578?

Kelgood: You said to see the outside world ‘again’. I assume you mean that you've been there before?

Kelgood: My name is Doctor Kelgood, 5578. Do you have a name you would like me to call you?

Kelgood: Well, hopefully we'll find out together.

<Dr. █████ Kelgood writes notes before proceeding>

Kelgood: What was your last memory as Vincent Fox?

Kelgood: I see.

Kelgood: I'm sorry, I don't know. You have just given me more information in one sitting than you’ve given in eight years, Vincent. Why all this at one time?

Kelgood: I can try and find out some things about your situation for you, if you like. But I can't give you information I don't have, Vincent. I'm sorry.

<Minutes pass>

Kelgood: Vincent? Do you think that, if I gave you more paper and more attention, you could improve your ability to communicate?

Kelgood: Give me a one-word response, please.

Kelgood: Wonderful.

Addendum - 08/01/1992 As of today, SCP-5578 is allowed as much paper as deemed essential by the Head Researcher (approximately 35lbs, or 450-roll limit). Monitor and archive anything new. - Dr. Kelgood

Access Site-67 Internal Communications Archive: 09/18/1992

Close Communications Archive

Date 09:36:55 am, 09/18/1992

To: Dr. Kelgood

From: Dr. Cronenworth

Subject: SCP-5578

Dr. Kel, I did some digging on a Vincent Fox? As it turns out, if this is the same one I picked up, then he died on March ██, 19██. Having the background on him leads me to believe that he's in this situation by absolute accident. He was a radio show host for ███.█ AM; based in Savannah, Georgia. What do you think, Doc?

To: Dr. Cronenworth

From: Dr. Kelgood

Subject: Re:SCP-5578

You gave me the few details I needed; thanks for that, Jay. Did you find any relatives in the database? How about obituaries? The last I will be requesting is morgue documents, to ensure the cause of death.

To: Dr. Kelgood

From: Dr. Cronenworth

Subject: Re:SCP-5578

Yeah, found an obituary in the same paper that reported his death, the paper is the Savannah Morning News. I clipped a photo of the archived obituary to the file, which should allow us to more properly conduct a background check on the ol' fella.

About the morgue documents, I don't happen to have a way to access them through the Site-Access Network. I would call Mick, he deals directly with records and may have a way to obtain them.

To: Dr. Cronenworth

From: Dr. Kelgood

Subject: Re:SCP-5578

Seeing Vincent start to fall down such an emotional slope is horrible; we haven't received more than 400 pages a day in the past two weeks. I think we need to appeal to get him removed from classical containment, he has no reason to have the strict containment measures he does.

To: Dr. Kelgood

From: Dr. Cronenworth

Subject: Re:SCP-5578

There's nothing we can do. If we put up a fight, all we may do is get reassigned, or worse, placed on official duty. Reintegration's as easy as it gets; don't waste a chance to relax for awhile. I think we should let Vince take the brunt of this.

You're sweet, Kel, but his situation may never get better. Might just need to let him be an SCP, not a friend. I am willing to let that happen.

To: Dr. Cronenworth

From: Dr. Kelgood

Subject: Re:SCP-5578

I don't think I am, quite yet.

+ Note from Dr. Lent to E-12

- Note from Dr. Lent to E-12

From the Office of

Dr. Lent, Site-67 Director

09/24/1992

To the Office of the Ethics Committee

SCP-5578 Reasoning for Possible Reintroduction

Forward to: Reintegration Committee

I, Site-67 Director George Lent, submit the following to the Ethics Committee.

I propose that we relocate SCP-5578 to somewhere outside of the research wing of Site-67. The anomaly is utilizing a human or near-human consciousness to write and communicate. It is behaving predictably, and refuses to cooperate during our discussions. I believe, based on its testimony, that SCP-5578 is an autonomous being, and that it is in great distress. This is not conducive to our understanding of SCP-5578, but it is also a dilemma I am conflicted about solving. The consciousness of SCP-5578 does not need further probing; I believe it needs relief, even if it's relief from us.

Regards,

Dr. Lent, Director of Site-67; On the behalf of Dr. █████ Kelgood

+ Appeal to Ethics Committee

- Appeal to Ethics Committee

SCP-5578 | Regarding Appeal for Reintegration, 09/29/1992

STATUS: PENDING - AWAITING TESTING

Determination:

TBD

Recommendation:

A memorandum will address facility staff about pending reclassification of SCP-5578.

The following facility requisition is REQUESTED for initial trial phases of SCP-5578 Reintegration procedure:

Site-67 Wing R (Under the direction of Dr. George Lent)

If you believe an error has been made in this assessment, or if you have any further inquiries, please direct all subsequent correspondence to your assigned Reintegration Committee representative.

+ Incident Report #1

- Incident Report #1

Item Deemed Lost - 02/14/1992: During transport by MTF Alpha-4 "Pony Express", SCP-5578 was neglected by some members of the task force. MTF Alpha-4 failed to account for SCP-5578 during their departure from its original site, leaving its shielded transport container in Storage Facility Precontainment Room 3B. The object was reported lost in transit on 02/14/1992.

Addendum - 4/28/2017: SCP-5578 has been recovered. MTF Alpha-4 rediscovered the package after a 'deep clean' of former Storage Facility-48; SCP-5578 had apparently been sent there in error during an audit of Site-67 assets conducted in 1993. SCP-5578 will be processed and provided with new containment at Variant Site-48, Wing B.

Researcher's note- 5/01/2017: SCP-5578 is to undergo an extensive psychological evaluation. SCP-5578 has been informed that continued non-compliance will result in a rejection of pending Reintegration Protocol. Subject is to be informed that space in Room 3B is available even if this is false.

- Researcher Roger Billings

+ Addendum #3

-Addendum #3

Addendum - 9/20/2017: SCP-5578 has abstained from gross insults, irrational statements and irregular behavior for the past two months. The anomaly should be given more full capacity within Site-48 in any way that Director Ionas sees fit. This can include but is not limited to:

Participating in staff orientation,

Printing Site bulletins,

Being placed in or near the entrance on the facility in order to greet staff

Any additional measures taken may be added to the object's file and will greatly improve plausibility for being granted reintegration.

- Dr. Derek Boyde, Paratherapy Researcher at Site-48

Researcher’s Log - 1/19/2018: SCP-5578 has been granted by the Ethics Committee the ability to visit and converse with Clearance Level: 2 individuals. Director Ionas has declined SCP-5578's request to distribute works of literature throughout the site. Visiting staff and Site personnel may refer to SCP-5578 as ‘Vince’ or ‘Vincent’, thereby making conversation easier between both parties. No further actions are necessary at this time.

- Dr. Derek Boyde

Note - 4/16/2018: SCP-5578 has been granted the following requested paraphernalia:

One (1) turn-table (specifically a cabinet model) and accompanying records, either donated by staff or kept on-site,

One (1) sound system to be paired with the turn-table,

One (1) Davenport sofa (for visiting staff)

The requested coffee table was deemed optional. Each of these amenities will help accommodate SCP-5578 and its visitors.

+ Second Appeal to Ethics Committee

- Second Appeal to Ethics Committee

SCP-5578| Regarding Appeal for Reintegration, 6/1/2018

STATUS: DELIBERATION IN PROGRESS

Determination:

SCP-5578 demonstrates limited capacity for sapience as outlined in Pseudohuman Civil Rights Act Polity Statute;

SCP-5578 does not meet all criteria for "autonomous" as outlined in Pseudohuman Civil Rights Act Polity Statute

Recommendation:

The Committee determines that SCP-5578 may be eligible for Partial Exemption under the Reintegration Protocol, pending decisions regarding "autonomous" legal definition. Provide SCP-5578 with adequate social engagement and maintenance to preserve function until deliberations are complete.

The following facility requisition is APPROVED for initial trial phases of SCP-5578 final Reintegration procedure:

Site-48, Variant Wing B

If you believe an error has been made in this assessment, or if you have any further inquiries, please direct all subsequent correspondence to your assigned Reintegration Committee representative.

+ Addendum #4

- Addendum #4

Researcher's Note - 06/05/2022 10:12:55 a.m.

Testing of 5578's social abilities is deemed to be a HIGH priority. When a suitable cross-test subject has been located please inform me or one of my staff. - Dr. Roger Billings

01:03:16 p.m.

There happens to be a SCP under my care that needs every cross-test they can receive. I'll tag the file of SCP-3288-18762. These two have shared interests of being reintegrated, I think they could each help each other out with ten minutes in 'Chamber 2'. - Dr. Thandiwe Tau

01:44:24 p.m.

This one is antisocial, never talked to anyone but his head researcher at the last site. Though that was all down to the fact I would assume the Doc felt Vince had something in common with his old man. I have met Kelgood a few times, though I know he had a really crappy childhood. Vince needs a little extra motivation since his extended absence. - Dr. Roger Billings

01:57:47 p.m.

Then it's settled, give Krzysztof the file on Vince. It only needs to be an interview, that way they don't waste time or one of them goes off the rails. They will have mutual sympathy for each other, you know that right, Roger? - Dr. Thandiwe Tau

Transcription Provided by Dr. Thandiwe Tau: 07/20/2022

Dr. Tau requested to Dr. Billings a cross examination between SCP-5578, 'Vince', and SCP-3288-18762, 'Krzysztof'.

Krzysztof: "What the hell are you?"

Krzysztof: "It doesn't matter, I'll be gone after a bit."

Krzysztof begins outlining the questions.

"I just needed to ask you a few questions."

Krzysztof: "Do you recall what you were doing when you died?"

Krzysztof: "Cryptic, I'll give you that. Do you recall how you met your wife?"

Krzysztof: "Do you feel safe at Site-48?"

Krzysztof: "For reasons I don't want to get into."

Krzysztof: "A member of a group of, not great for wanting some form of freedom."

During the interview, at the moment SCP-3288-18762 was instructed to end the cross-test. It began to release hidden information to SCP-5578. This will be marked on 5578's record that this form of cross-test is not to be advised alongside other sentient subjects.

Krzysztof: "Have you tried to contact your wife?"

Krzysztof: "They might be trying to hide something from you. When did you start asking?"

Krzysztof: "That was over 30 years ago, Vince."

After the prior sentence was observed 5578 became silent, all motor function was ceased momentarily.

Krzysztof: "What's up?"

Dr. Billings intervened, and Site-48 staff needed separate 5578 and SCP-3288-18762.

Due to unforeseen circumstances, SCP-5578 is not to be in contact with other sentient SCPs for any reasoning.