And Suddenly, Chair

SCP-396: And Suddenly, Chair

1/396 LEVEL 1/396

CLASSIFIED

Item #: SCP-396

SCP-396 (in red) which manifested prior to an exam in the Polytechnique School in Palaiseau, France.

Assigned Site
Site Director
Research Head
Assigned Task Force

Area-93
Dir. J. Kalister
Dr. Kondraki
MTF Gamma-5 ("Red Herrings")

Special Containment Procedures: A geolocator has been affixed to SCP-396 to track its movements. If SCP-396 is to displace an individual, they are to be identified, administered amnestics, and returned to their original location. When possible, SCP-396 is to be contained within Area-93.

Description: SCP-396 is a steel and red plastic chair. At statistically random intervals, usually between four and twelve days, SCP-396 will displace itself and switch places with another random separate seat. Any living matter seated on SCP-396 or the chair it is replacing will also change places. The approximate limits of this teleportation are unclear.

SCP-396 was discovered on 15/03/2002 when it manifested in Wing C’s testing zone of Area-93. Due to the unexplained apparition and the presumed simplicity of the anomalous manifestation, the chair was added to the Log Of Anomalous Items and contained within storage. Three days later, SCP-396 displaced itself and a chesterfield sofa, along with a civilian from Busan, South Korea. The affected individual was administered amnestics, returned home, and SCP-396 was assigned a proper designation.

O5 COMMAND NOTICE

Procedure HOTSEAT

SCP-396 has breached its containment a total of 58 times since its initial discovery only one year ago. This is a terrible amount. And it's even more concerning when the only containment procedure we have is leaving this thing in a room, hoping its next teleportation will not be important to deal with.

Containing the anomaly in a single facility has thus been deemed unpractical. Both due to its unpredictable nature and rather perplexing apparition, procedure HOTSEAT has been implemented. It has been decided that each time SCP-396 anomalous manifestation occurs, its location will be promptly pinned and the closest Foundation complex to the anomaly will be instructed to contain it as soon as possible.

The facility in charge will be then ordered to, with the help of all abnormal domain departments and divisions present, theorize and test the possible origins of SCP-396's anomalous activity and/or propose new proper Containment Procedures to subdue its threat to the Veil as much as possible.

Failing to report a theory before the next transportation will lead to a cut in the budget of said facility. We want this thing fixed, do not try to avoid your duty just by containing it without much thought. Do your best.

SCP-396's latest transportation occurred within Poland's territory, and so, Site-120 has been indirectly chosen to contain the anomaly until its next anomalous activity. This is non-negotiable.

HOTSEAT REPORT - Site-120

Proposal: We suspect the anomaly might be caused by thaumaturgical manipulation, possibly by cursing directly the object or ritual circles engraved within the chair's materials.

Application: Approved.

Despite research considered intensive by Site-120's staff, no signs of thaumaturgical residue or ritual circles were found. No further tests were applied until the anomaly transported itself eleven days after containment.

Result: Inconclusive.

Location: Belle Abeille's clinic, Brittany, France

Description of event: SCP-396 displaced itself and a dental chair occupied by James Machille, located within Abeille's clinic. Due to the patient being under a sedative, only the doctor in charge was assigned amnestics and the patient's oral operation was finished within Site-120. Machille was returned home afterward and the containment of SCP-396 was passed to Site-Kybian.

HOTSEAT REPORT - Site-Kybian

Proposal: None.

Application: Site-Kybian failed to report any theory before the anomaly transported itself again, four days later. Staff stated they were unaware of the budget cut penalty of procedure HOTSEAT.

Result: None.

Location: Gravenhurst, Ontario, Canada

Description of event: SCP-396 anomalous activity activated and the chair was replaced with a 6.5 meters high by 4.8 meters wide Muskoka Chair, usually used for tourist attraction at Gravenhurst. Due to the chair's height, the instant transportation destroyed the entire containment room, including a portion of the closest and upper rooms. The Muskoka Chair was cut into pieces to move it out of Site-Kybian, and a replica was created and replaced at its original location. SCP-396's containment was passed to Site-37.

HOTSEAT REPORT - Site-37

Proposal: We believe in the chair's sentience. Our facility has dealt with a great amount of appliance objects coming to life, and we believe this one to be no different. The logs listed here speak for themselves; the anomaly is taunting us. Among all its transportation recorded over the last year, a great amount of them targets people or popular locations. While it may not speak or laugh, it mocks us and our containment.

Application: Approved.

SCP-396 did not react to any Self-Awareness Tests, Behavioral Observations, and Emotional Responses. SCP-396 transported itself six days after containment.

Result: Inconclusive.

Location: Venice, Italy

Description of event: An interview was initiated to test SCP-396's communication ability, which was inconclusive, but the researchers assigned forgetfully did not return the item to its containment room afterward. During another interview, Dr. Fenton unknowingly sat on the Item and was suddenly switched with an empty co-director seat on a movie set in Italy. Fenton pretended to be part of the studio’s staff until Foundation agents arrived. The researchers responsible have been disciplined, and SCP-396 was sent to Site Minerva.

HOTSEAT REPORT - Site Minerva

Proposal: SCP-396’s teleportation ability and the way it chooses the chair it switches with is concomitant with the concept of seating. The action of bending the knees, lowering the body onto a surface designed for sitting, and adjusting posture for comfort and stability, is an action impossible for the anatomy and the mind of most life forms on earth. This idea is inherently an old concept created within the noosphere,1 and a very esoteric one at that.

We believe this anomaly is a direct result of a concept being transcended into our reality, possibly making this chair, as we call it, an essophysical entity. And we want to check if we can do something about it.

Application: Approved.

SCP-396 was connected via a Noospheric Regulator in order to search for its presence within the noosphere, memetic scans were initiated, and a deity-class entity was summoned to demand if it knew anything about another “seating god”. No correlation between SCP-396 and the concept of seating was found. SCP-396 left its cell fifteen days later.

Result: Failed.

Location: Vatican City State

Description of event: Pope Paul VI was displaced along with his throne and appeared within Site Minerva disoriented and confused. Light dosages of amnestics convinced His Holiness that the incident was a religious experience, and the Foundation struck a deal with Vatican City government officials to prevent widespread coverage of the incident. SCP-396 was sent to Temporal Site-02 afterward.

HOTSEAT REPORT - Temporal Site-02

Result: Failed2

Proposal: I believe SCP-396 is the direct result of a time-traveling failure, possibly initiated by the Foundation. The day of its apparition, the fifteenth of March 2002, was the date set by a time-traveling device in a far future Area-93. That chair was sent out on our time, perhaps to test the actual device.

What resulted is the chair's timeline instability. Because the chair's atom structure shouldn't be in this timeline, it's trying to find its original past-version and replace it in order to find stability, displacing objects similar to itself while doing so.

Application: Approved.

A portable Temporal Sink3 was affixed to SCP-396's seat to entirely block any kind of liaison to another timeline. After twenty days, being the longest recorded time SCP-396 did not transport itself, staff of Temporal Site-02 congratulated Dr. Azzopardi for the successful containment of SCP-396. During her celebration speech in the cafeteria, in which she insulted her future self for “being wrong for once”, SCP-396 transported itself again. The object's disappearance was only noticed after.

Location: [REDACTED], Brazil

Description of event: SCP-396 displaced itself and an unknown stone sculpture. Upon finding SCP-396 with the affixed GPS, it was discovered 15 meters below ground. Following excavation and containment, the entire area was transformed into an archaeology site, where other artifacts and ruins of the [REDACTED] culture were found. All findings and SCP-396 were sent to Site-PT20.

HOTSEAT REPORT - Site-PT20

Proposal: Look, I am thankful to the anomaly for these new archeological findings, but we are not a containment facility. Archeological research, our main thing, isn't going to help solve this anomaly, so this theory is more of a gut feeling than anything else. I know this probably isn't what that page is for, but it's the best I can come up with while avoiding a budget cut.

SCP-396 is a challenge for all Foundation facilities and for the staff charged with containing it. The anomaly feeds off our hard work. The more believable the theory is, the more it takes time to teleport. Look at the Azzopardi's theory, everyone thought she finally made it, and it's exactly because that theory is so believable that it took so long to transport itself. That chair judges our ability to contain and research around itself, leaving for another Site after a certain time, depending on how well we did our job.

Noospheric manifestation, reality-bending manipulation, some kind of GoI attack against us— I really have no idea what would explain it in para-scientific terms, but this is what I got. Now, the only problem is that there is no real way to test this theory of mine. The only way I could think of would be to leave it alone in its cell— without anything else. No joke.

If I'm correct, and this is a big if, SCP-396 would wait even longer than last time to transport itself, because that theory is believable and the closest thing to the truth. If I'm wrong, well, you'll know I tried.

Application: Approved.

SCP-396 is left alone in its containment cell, without any interaction permitted. Three weeks after initial containment, the anomaly has yet to transport itself.

Result: Pending.

Footnotes

1. The realm of human thought, encompassing dreams, concepts, and ideas.

2. An hour before SCP-396 transported itself, an edit to the theory report of the file was added by Dr. Danica Azzopardi with only the Result section filled. After questioning, Dr. Azzopardi explained that her future self probably sent the failed result to prevent her from attempting to propose a means of containing the anomaly. Despite this, Azzopardi worked on her theory concerning SCP-396. When asked why, she replied “I don't trust her. Never will.”

3. Device used to prevent retroactive alterations