Item#: 7626

Containment Class: esoteric

Secondary Class: enochian

Disruption Class: dark

Risk Class: notice

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-7626 is unable to be contained as it constitutes an aspect of baseline reality. Any scientific discoveries relating to it are to be covered up with the explanation that its appearance is purely coincidental.

Image of SCP-7626 taken using an experimental anomalous microscope.

Description: SCP-7626 is a subatomic particle several times smaller than an electron, which is present in all matter within the universe. It is inexplicably identical in appearance and composition to a crudely modified Ford Ranger model truck.

SCP-7626 is believed to have originally been a non-anomalous truck that belonged to POI-7626 "Robert Cliffend", an Australian tradesperson who has been missing since 25/06/2013, after undergoing an anomalous event.1 Foundation testing has attempted to replicate the effects displayed by POI-7626 with no significant results.

Upon recovery of the video camera belonging to POI-7626, the anomaly was classified as SCP-7626.

Addendum 7626.1: Video Logs

On 5/12/2013, a broken video camera belonging to POI-7626 was found 12 kilometres away from the Outback Highway, Queensland, Australia, near a set of burnt tire tracks. The recorder was able to be successfully repaired, and the footage was largely intact. A transcript of the three recorded videos is attached below.

SCP-7626 Video Transcript.1 2/03/2013

Recording begins. It is in a low resolution and the sound quality is poor. POI-7626 is seen stabilising the camera and stepping away. He is inside an average suburban garage with his truck2 in the background. Various tools and hardware are scattered across the floor and walls.

POI-7626: Is this thing working? Err… Mic check.

POI-7626 goes behind the camera, he is tapping the screen of the camcorder while grunting occasionally. After one and a half minutes, the resolution and sound quality increase significantly. POI-7626 adjusts the angle of the camera so that the footage is slightly slanted and returns to where he was previously standing.

POI-7626: Alright (sigh). G'day mates! Robbie's Rigs here! Welcome to my very first video! Today, we're gonna be modifying my trusty truck, Betty! I've started by juicin' up her engine a lil' bit and adding a nice kick; lemme show ya the stuff I've been doing.

POI-7626 picks up the camera and holds it so that it's mostly showing his right eye. He moves to the front of the truck and grunts as he opens up the hood. The camera is moved so that the footage shows a quarter of the inside. The parts of the engine visible on camera have some form of crude contraption attached to the oil pump composed of various kitchen appliances attached via wires, tape, and glue.

POI-7626: Yep, she's a beaut isn't she? Ahh the beatin' heart of my beautiful Bets. My son's gonna love it when he sees I've been fixin' up the ol' girl. Anyways, this….. Errr…. Shit, how'd you call it?

30 seconds of POI-7626 breathing heavily.

POI-7626: Whatever, it stabs the oil doodad. (POI-7626 points towards a piston with a screwdriver attached to the end) Found one of those video game-type bugs my kids are always talkin' 'bout when I accidentally stabbed the gas holder a bunch with my screwdriver after a few beers. I did some digging, and apparently, it's one of them integer limit things in computers where if I empty it enough, it circles back all around to full. Guess our Lord did a pretty crummy job when he programmed the world eh? At least I don't gotta pay for gas anymore!

POI-7626 pans the camera towards the wheel axle and he points at a series of disconnected gears made out of spoons attached with pipe-cleaners, connected via translucent pipes with an unknown liquid flowing through them.

POI-7626: Yep, this here's a lil' thingy I made which stops the wheels real quick in just the right way so it flings me forward real quick. I dunno how exactly it works but it took me bloody forever to get right. Jo- Err… My kids make it look so easy. Might be another one of those glitches I keep findin'. Pretty grouse to throw yourself around in the Outback though.

POI-7626 walks to a stack of books and boxes where he trips over a metal pipe and drops the camera. POI-7626 groans, picks up the camera, and walks to where he was at the beginning of the recording.

POI-7626: Well that's all for today, mates! Remember to tune in next time, 'cuz I'm workin' on somethin' big! Looking into video game glitches all the time! Oh! And errrr… What do those guys on the internet say? Like and subscribe?3 (Muttering to himself) Subscribe to what? A newsletter?

POI-7626 reaches over the camera.

POI-7626: Muttering. How do ya turn this bloody thin-

Recording ends.

SCP-7626 Video Transcript.2 5/06/2013

Recording begins. POI-7626 is standing in front of their truck again. This time, there are significantly more mechanical additions protruding out of it, as well as other various modifications. The garage is also significantly less organized. POI-7626 has grown a beard and developed eye bags, as well as seeming a lot more dishevelled. Despite this, he appears to be very happy.

POI-7626: Good bloody day mates! I'm Robbie's Rigs, and I am rapt to finally be back! It took me a hot minute to tee this whole thing up, but I did it! Lemme explain what I've been up to. So all o' youse know that I've been finding these "bugs", I see- Er.. Saw 'em in me ankle-biter's games all the time, after they kept naggin' me to play this racing game with 'em. From what I found out, some of 'em happen in real life too! After that, my kids have been helpin' me find all kinds of stuff, it's nice to see what kinda stuff they like. And I had some… Failures. Had to buy 5 new chairs after I tried lighting 5 chairs on fire 'cuz I thought it might do something. So one night I got a bit err… Full. And I thought to myself, "Oi Robs! The speed limit of the world when you're goin' forwards is a bajillion, right? Well, what if they forgot to add a speed limit when you're goin' backwards?" And I reckoned it was a ripper of an idea. So I got onto it. Three weeks… Months later, I've up and finished it.

POI-7626 picks up the camera so that the footage shows a large mound of vibrating metal that is duct taped to the trunk of the truck. A portion of the mound is covered by POI-7626's thumb covering the lens.

POI-7626: So a single engine can only get you so fast, right? How 'bout a whole heap of engines! Figured out a way to bunch together about 32 engines into one area by shoving 'em together with some pistons. The best thing is I don't even need to connect it to the wheels! Guess the concentrated engines are that powerful! Should get me goin' fast enough hopefully.

POI-7626 moves the camera to show his computer, which has cardboard arms glued onto its sides.

POI-7626: I got a bit nervous that I might go so fast I'd crash into somethin', and I wanted to get a way to 'noclip' myself so I don't hit any dipsticks in the way. I tried to figure out what I could hit to do it, but no luck. So I took a step back and thought "How do you noclip in games? Well, my kids type on a computer. So how would you do it in real life? Get a computer to type on you!" So I gave this bloke 'ere some arms and let it type away on me.

POI-7626 points towards the computer

POI-7626: I got no clue how it works. Here's hopin' me kids do. I'll ask 'em later.

POI-7626 opens the truck door and moves the camera to show the inside of the cab, however, the door is still obscuring half of the frame.

POI-7626: This is where all the magic happens! Sorry for the mess here. I kept adding buttons and ran out of room, so I had to use other surfaces. During my research, I found that if I press too many buttons, the game starts buggin' out. That must be a good thing, right? So I just glued a heap of buttons in here and when I go out to test out Betty soon, I'll make sure to press as many as I can. Also, check it out, I errr….. What does Joel say?….. I also switched around a gear and now the car goes backwards!

POI-7626 turns the camera to only show his nostrils.

POI-7626: Well that's all I got for you today, hopefully, I can shoot over to the Outback sometime soon. Errrr, yep. Bye!

POI-7626 looks into the camera and the footage pauses. The recording ends 30 seconds later.

SCP-7626 Video Transcript.3: 25/06/2013

Recording begins, POI-7626's face is looking over the camera and covering the frame.

POI-7626: Oh! It's on. Hard to see the little light when I'm outside.

POI-7626 walks next to the truck. The camera is mostly showing the desert surrounded by sparse foliage behind the truck.

POI-7626: Heh, took me a bit to find the time for this, but I'm out here! I got Betty ready for her big day and it's time for her to shine. I think I'll skip over the boring details this time.

POI-7626 enters the truck and places the camera on the passenger seat facing towards him, it falls to the side after a few seconds. He then takes a coarse, gelatinous substance and consumes it.

POI-7626: Hope this works.

POI-7626 takes a few deep breaths and presses his foot down, the truck begins to accelerate backwards. Trees and shrubbery appear to phase through the windscreen, presumably due to them "noclipping". As they break the sound barrier, the audio cuts and the video begins to become more pixelated. Eventually, the truck surpasses the speed of light and the video cuts out entirely.

Approximately 1 hour and 43 minutes later, a single frame appeared of a trophy in front of what was later identified to be the cosmic background radiation of the universe, with the words, "You're Winner!". Following this, the rest of the footage is of the Australian Outback where POI-7626 was at the beginning of the recording, presumably the camera being left on the ground.

The recording ends after the battery is believed to have run out.

Following this, Foundation researchers have theorized that POI-7626, inside SCP-7626, has reached a speed where they are in every place in the universe simultaneously.

Footnotes

1. See SCP-7626 Video Transcript.3.

2. Believed to be SCP-7626.

3. Foundation webcrawlers did not find any social media accounts belonging to POI-7626 other than Facebook and Twitter.