A group of anomalous oddballs try playing TTRPGs with probability-bending dice.

Item #: SCP-6476

Object Class: Neutralized, formerly Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: All instances of SCP-6476 shall be stored in a standard secure locker within the Site-76 Low-Risk Inanimate Objects Warehouse. Every six months, researchers will organize a single session with D-class personnel to ascertain whether SCP-6476's anomalous traits have reactivated. For a full list of pre-approved variables, see Document 6476-003-01, "Testing Protocol for One-Shot Scenarios".

MTF Mu-4 ("Debuggers") and webcrawler I/O-GASNIER1 will continue monitoring online storefronts and reviews for mentions of "magic", "special", and/or "enchanted" dice.

Description: SCP-6476 is the collective designation for a series of six-sided dice created by Raul Nandes de Jesus (PoI-6476, "rollinboxcars") for a tabletop role-playing game (TTRPG) played by members of GoI-5869 ("Gamers Against Weed").

All instances of SCP-6476 were made with translucent green plastic, engraved with Arabic numerals, decorated with gold paint, and contain a weighted metallic core. Whereas mundane "loaded" dice favor specific outcomes during play, instances of SCP-6476 influenced local probability outside the game.2 When activated by a two-thirds majority vote, this effect (termed SCP-6476-A) increased the likelihood of arranging an online meeting between all participants every two weeks, while reducing interruptions and obligations that would otherwise disrupt the event.

When used to advance TTRPG gameplay, instances of SCP-6476 induced an anomalous state of hyperphantasia,3 enhancing the user's capacity for visualizing descriptions of in-game setting, character and action. This effect (termed SCP-6476-B) was heavily stylized and consistently distinguishable from reality.

As of 2019/03/16, all anomalous effects associated with SCP-6476 have ceased.

Instance
Anomaly Status
PoI #
Username
Role

SCP-6476-1
Unknown
PoI-6476
rollinboxcars
Game Master

SCP-6476-2
PoI-7331
alwaysbpositive
"Leena", human bard

SCP-6476-3
Unknown
PoI-6660
meatgerm
"Throndir", elf ranger

SCP-6476-4
Contained
PoI-9791
twilight_tone
"Rose", halfling druid

SCP-6476-5
Contained
PoI-9102
WHEREISMYHOG
"Puck", halfling thief

SCP-6476-6
Contained
PoI-7132
whistl_stahp
"Helga", dwarf cleric

Discovery: During standard sweeps of international mail, MTF Alpha-4 ("Pony Express") identified an anomalous package sent from the mainland United States to a post office box in Moreno, Brazil. Securing the scene, MTF Alpha-4 seized two additional packages of contraband, all of which were marked "return to sender". Attempts at tracing PoI-6476 have failed, as all data on his postal registration documents is fabricated or incomplete.4

+ Discovery Disclosure [LEVEL 3/CLOWNFISH CLASSIFIED]

- Discovery Disclosure [LEVEL 3 CONFIRMED]

SCP-6476 was first identified by Project CLOWNFISH, a two-tiered inter-departmental taskforce comprised of Foundation staff demographically and/or culturally adjacent to GoI-5869. One such asset, Codename NEMO, agreed to participate in PoI-6476's game in hopes of assessing his anomalous abilities and further ingratiating themselves with the community.

Operational protocol dictates that LEVEL 3/CLOWNFISH assets remain anonymous to persons outside their local working group. For more information, see Document 5869-512-03, "Project CLOWNFISH Executive Summary".

+ Partial Experiment Log [LEVEL 3/CLOWNFISH CLASSIFIED]

- Partial Experiment Log [LEVEL 3/CLOWNFISH CONFIRMED]

Testing Protocol: Seeking empirical evidence of SCP-6476-B's anomalous effects, NEMO's working group prepared a battery of tests for "Session 2", 2018/12/22. In all the experiments listed below, NEMO's activities were monitored using an electroencephalogram (EEG) and VERITAS Resonance Imaging (VRI).

Subject: Control (NEMO narrating, SCP-6476-B inactive)

Description: NEMO visualizes standing "in a field, in a stiff summer breeze", taking a bite from a "bright red" apple. They roll one standard polyhedral die (1d6) to represent throwing said apple at a target.

Results: NEMO visualizes striking the target.

EEG results baseline.

VRI detects zero anomalous activity.

Estimated VVS: 64/80.

Comments: NEMO previously scored a 64/80 (above average) on their standard employee Visualization Vividness Scale (VVS) assessment.

Subject: Session 2, Test 1 (PoI-6476 narrating, SCP-6476-B active)

Description: The group interacts with patrons of a crowded bar. Music, food and drink are described in detail.

Results: NEMO experiences strong visual, auditory, olfactory and gustatory responses.

EEG confirms heightened activity in the parietal, temporal and visual areas.

VRI detects EVE spike: ARAD 300-700 Caspers, sharp, orange, loose.

Estimated VVS: 78/80.

Comments: NEMO notes that they have never tasted real mead, and cannot attest to the accuracy of the experience.

Subject: Session 2, Test 2 (PoI-6476 narrating, SCP-6476-B inactive)

Description: The group engages in social intrigue. NEMO rolls a set of mundane dice and lies to PoI-6476 about the resulting outcome.

Results: No effect.

EEG and VRI detect zero anomalous activity.

Estimated VVS: 67/80.

Comments: Cheating during the game does not elicit a response from PoI-6476. Other participants continue play, suggesting that imagery generated by SCP-6476-B is specific to each individual participant.

Subject: Session 2, Test 5 (PoI-6476 narrating, SCP-6476-B active)

Description: The group engages in battle. NEMO's character tries to dodge enemy attacks.

Results: Simulated motion is blurred and exaggerated. NEMO does not experience any vestibular disorientation or pain response, even when their character is struck in combat.

EEG confirms heightened activity in the parietal, temporal and visual areas.

VRI detects EVE spike: ARAD 500-800 Caspers, sharp, orange, loose.

Estimated VVS: 74/80.

Comments: SCP-6476 appears to have built-in countermeasures against loss of balance or psychosomatic injury as a result of play.

Addenda:

+ Addendum 6476-1: Excerpts from GoI-5869 IRC logs, 2018/11/23

- Close Addendum 6476-1

rollinboxcars: hey, can I do a self-promo/LFG post in this channel?

rollinboxcars: or is that against the rules

bones: That is perfectly acceptable.

twilight_tone: yeah, I've posted my commission info in here a few times.

acuterobot: me too!

rollinboxcars: sweet, ty

rollinboxcars: short version: I'm starting another TTRPG campaign! We're gonna be playing Dungeon World!

WHEREISMYHOG: what happened to your other game?

rollinboxcars: it's sort of on pause for a bit

rollinboxcars: bc scheduling across time zones is really, really hard.

twilight_tone: Alas… the GM's curse.

rollinboxcars: but that won't be a problem this time!

rollinboxcars: We'll play with voice chat, 3-4 hours every two weeks. I've already got one player lined up and I'm hoping to find four more!

meatgerm: iam that player. hello

rollinboxcars: there's a $40 buy-in for special dice, but after that, it's all pay-what-you-want, no obligation.

takesmasterschoice: lmao forty bucks for plastic

rollinboxcars: enchanted plastic!

meatgerm: we're mostly passing the same $20 around

rollinboxcars: tbh, I'm better off selling normal artisan dice on Etsy

rollinboxcars: but I really like GMing within our community, bc then I can challenge myself creatively!

twilight_tone: Game literally recognizing game.

meatgerm: yea th eheavy metal magic dice you made me are very cool

meatgerm: every time I roll a crit success I hear a power chord

steakshift: that is siiick

twilight_tone: You know what? Sign me up. I've got some money left over from my last round of comms.

rollinboxcars: awesome! welcome aboard.

whistl_stahp: can I join if I don't know much about tabletop games?

rollinboxcars: yes, 100%! newcomers are always welcome!

whistl_stahp: I played the Sailor Moon RPG a long time ago but that's it.

takesmasterschoice: the WHAT?!

meatgerm: fwiw Dungeon World is pretty easy to pick up

WHEREISMYHOG: can I invite someone from another chat?

bones: New invites to this cluster of channels must be approved by myself and the local administrator, steakshift.

whistl_stahp: one of my friends had a copy.

takesmasterschoice: cringe

steakshift: who do you have in mind WHEREISMYHOG

WHEREISMYHOG: I think you know alwaysbpositive ?

steakshift: oh yeah she's cool

bones: I am also acquainted with alwaysbpositive. Your request is approved.

rollinboxcars: awesome!

takesmasterschoice: no she suuuuuucks lol

steakshift: wow learn to stfu

bones kicked takesmasterschoice.

rollinboxcars: I'll start sending out PMs with channel invites and payment info.

bones: Please remember to use proxies, remailing services and/or post office boxes instead of sharing contact information directly.

rollinboxcars: don't worry, I've got a separate Ko-Fi account for this. We should be good!

steakshift: want help with deliveries?

rollinboxcars: definitely!

+ Addendum 6476-2: Excerpts from GoI-5869 Discord logs, "Session 1", 2018/12/08

- Close Addendum 6476-2

rollinboxcars: 30 minutes to game time, @everyone !

alwaysbpositive: rawr!! XD im here! thanks for the invite, RB!

WHEREISMYHOG: yeah thanks for having us

alwaysbpositive: it's been a rlly rlly long time since I played anything like this and I'm soooo excited @w@

whistl_stahp: yeah, same!

whistl_stahp: kinda anxious tbh, but mostly excited.

rollinboxcars: haha well you're not alone! I always get some pregame jitters

meatgerm: dontw orry it's all good. boxcars best gm

twilight_tone: One question before we get started.

twilight_tone: Are these dice actually fair? Because they're kinda heavy.

rollinboxcars: they're totally fair! sharp edges and everything!

rollinboxcars: you only need to roll once to activate the gimmick, so if you don't like how they feel in-game, you can just use standard dice, or an app. Whatever works for you!

twilight_tone: Cool. Ready whenever you are.

rollinboxcars started a call that lasted four hours.

whistl_stahp: well that was

whistl_stahp: incredible.

meatgerm: right??? toldyou

meatgerm: boxcars best gm

WHEREISMYHOG: that was a really strong start

alwaysbpositive: YEAH!!!

rollinboxcars: I'm glad you had fun!

whistl_stahp: @alwaysbpositive you have a beautiful singing voice

alwaysbpositive: ;;O;; thank youuu!

meatgerm: yea you could join my band irl

alwaysbpositive: haha no no I couldn't!! I don't get out much

alwaysbpositive: very sweet of you to say tho

rollinboxcars: so, how does everyone feel about their characters? anything you want to change about the setting?

alwaysbpositive: um, there is one thing

alwaysbpositive: can we try to avoid stereotyping the undead?

alwaysbpositive: not every less-living person is a literal monster.

rollinboxcars: yeah, sure! I'll keep that in mind going forward.

rollinboxcars: is that gonna be a problem for our cleric?

whistl_stahp: of course not!

whistl_stahp: this is a diverse community and I want to respect everyone's needs.

twilight_tone: No arguments from me

meatgerm: same

alwaysbpositive: awww thank you everybody ;;w;; appreciate it

WHEREISMYHOG: meant to ask, is it better to say you're a hemovore, or that you have hemovorism?

alwaysbpositive: I'm a vampire. It's okay to say vampire.

WHEREISMYHOG: okay cuz I thought that might be a slur

meatgerm: ohh lol I get oyu rusername now

meatgerm: thats good

alwaysbpositive: hehe thankee

+ Addendum 6476-3: Excerpts from GoI-5869 Discord logs, "Session 6", 2019/02/16

- Close Addendum 6476-3

whistl_stahp: things have been really quiet at work

alwaysbpositive: is that bad?

whistl_stahp: not "bad", just. weird.

whistl_stahp: like, I keep expecting to pull a weekend shift, but it hasn't happened.

WHEREISMYHOG: wow they make you work weekends in paratech?

whistl_stahp: only when we're crunching

WHEREISMYHOG: sounds like you need a union.

meatgerm: dontyou work on your dads farm

WHEREISMYHOG: and??

WHEREISMYHOG: its called solidarity you cretin

rollinboxcars started a call that lasted four hours.

meatgerm: lol holy shit TT

meatgerm: making those big moves tonight

whistl_stahp: I canNOT believe you jumped those guards!

twilight_tone: You guys were arguing.

whistl_stahp: we were working out a plan!

twilight_tone: Yeah, you were gonna keep arguing. I kept the scene moving and that is almost always better.

WHEREISMYHOG: she's not wrong imo

whistl_stahp: she trampled a prince!

alwaysbpositive: rofl yeah that was epic XD

whistl_stahp: christ, what a mess.

twilight_tone: You're welcome.

twilight_tone: Anyway I gotta go. Until next time everyone!

alwaysbpositive: wait wait wait I have big news

alwaysbpositive: I'm going on a road trip next week!

WHEREISMYHOG: whoa! you're leaving Eventide?5

alwaysbpositive: yeah!! XD first time in yeaaars!!

whistl_stahp: oh, that's exciting! I hope you have a good time.

alwaysbpositive: super exciting! but scary!!

rollinboxcars: should we put the game on pause while you're away?

whistl_stahp: I'd be fine with taking a break.

meatgerm: I'm good with w/e

alwaysbpositive: no no you should just keep going! I can catch up

rollinboxcars: what do you think @twilight_tone?

meatgerm: she already logged off

rollinboxcars: oh okay I'll send her a DM

whistl_stahp: is she even on Discord between games?

rollinboxcars: no worries, I'll message her on IRC too.

+ Addendum 6476-4: Excerpts from GoI-5869 Discord logs, "Session 7", 2019/03/02

- Close Addendum 6476-4

rollinboxcars: ten minutes to game time, @everyone! Hope you're doing well.

WHEREISMYHOG: I'm good! got proper snacks this time.

meatgerm: im sorta bummed ou tbh

twilight_tone: Aw. What's wrong?

meatgerm: my band had a gig lined up and it got cancelled

meatgerm: wasn't gonna pay much but still

whistl_stahp: what sort of music does your band play?

meatgerm: we do folk covers of heavy metal

whistl_stahp: you're joking.

meatgerm: nope not everyone likes the deep bass and screamin

meatgerm: wewere gonna play a retirement home this weekend but it fell through

alwaysbpositive started a call that lasted less than a minute.

whistl_stahp: wait, I thought abp was on the road?

WHEREISMYHOG: she is

alwaysbpositive: I am

alwaysbpositive: I buttdialed you somehow

alwaysbpositive: idek how I have service down here! XD

whistl_stahp: lucky I guess

twilight_tone: Do you want to join us?

alwaysbpositive: no sorry I have an appointment and I rlly can't miss it

alwaysbpositive: you have fun tho!!!

rollinboxcars started a call that lasted nineteen minutes.

twilight_tone: I'm gonna be on and off mic. Eating dinner

twilight_tone: Wait who is that in the background?

WHEREISMYHOG: I think that's one of DOreen's friends

whistl_stahp: @alwaysbpositive you're still in the call!

alwaysbpositive: dangit >_< sorry

alwaysbpositive: hey @everyone? something weird just happened

alwaysbpositive: one of the ppl I'm travelling with just said "you forgot thijs back home, I packed it for you"

alwaysbpositive: and handed me my freaking DICE

meatgerm: wow ok

meatgerm: mandatory fun

rollinboxcars: uhhh shit. this might be a problem with the exploit

rollinboxcars: you're still considered a player so our schedules are trying to line up

WHEREISMYHOG: lmao Raul

alwaysbpositive: I don't understand. I said you should keep playing without me.

rollinboxcars: yeah but you're still part of the group, and the majority voted to continue.

whistl_stahp: can she just loan the d6 to someone else?

whistl_stahp: I have a friend who could take over for a session or two.

rollinboxcars: no, she paid for the seat, she's owed the whole ride.

rollinboxcars: hmmm

rollinboxcars: maybe we can just write you out for a bit?

twilight_tone: Exit Leena, pursued by a bear.

rollinboxcars: we could kill your bard and have Helga cast Resurrection whenever you're available again

alwaysbpositive: exCUSE me??

WHEREISMYHOG: dude

whistl_stahp: facepalms

alwaysbpositive: that is REALLY insensitive!

alwaysbpositive: it's NOT okay to assume that every vampire can just bounce back from death

alwaysbpositive: like it doesn't MATTER when people kill us

twilight_tone: Yikes.

rollinboxcars: omg no that's not what I meant!

rollinboxcars: I was talking about your character

whistl_stahp: but you can see why she might find it hurtful, right?

rollinboxcars: yeah absolutely. I apologize. I didn't mean to offend.

whistl_stahp: Okay, let's just take a step back.

whistl_stahp: boxcars, if we keep playing, is it going to mess up abp's appointment?

rollinboxcars: I'm really not sure.

alwaysbpositive: oh GREAT! awesomesauce

whistl_stahp: in that case, we should probably call it for tonight.

WHEREISMYHOG: seconded

twilight_tone: Yeah agreed.

meatgerm: what about the cliffhanger?

rollinboxcars: hopefully we'll get to it next time. I'm really sorry for the mix-up, everyone.

alwaysbpositive: I can't make it next time either >:(((

rollinboxcars: okay. I'm gonna try to fix the probability exploit from my end, so it doesn't affect the whole group.

whistl_stahp: you can do that?

rollinboxcars: Yes!

WHEREISMYHOG: uhh dude what about the backlash

WHEREISMYHOG: like affects like, and part affects the whole, but that doesn't mean it's free

WHEREISMYHOG: ESPECIALLY when youre cheating lady luck

rollinboxcars: it's fine! exploits don't have backlash.

WHEREISMYHOG: lmao okay

whistl_stahp: you're sure?

rollinboxcars: yeah, pretty sure.

WHEREISMYHOG: guess these dice have a subtle aura6 for no reason at all then

+ Addendum 6476-5: Excerpts from GoI-5869 Discord logs, "Session 8", 2019/03/16

- Close Addendum 6476-5

WHEREISMYHOG: ughhh daylight savings is kicking my ass rn

whistl_stahp: yeah same. I nearly poured cream in my cereal this morning

twilight_tone: The Forbidden Breakfast.

WHEREISMYHOG: it's also calving season here on the farm

WHEREISMYHOG: so idk how much sleep I'm gonna get this weekend :)

rollinboxcars: tbh I'm not sure what you're talking about.

WHEREISMYHOG: calving is when cows have babies

whistl_stahp: you mean Daylight Savings Time?

whistl_stahp: spring forward, fall back?

rollinboxcars: we don't do that in my part of Brazil

twilight_tone: God, I wish that were me.

rollinboxcars: so all of you just fell back?

WHEREISMYHOG: no???

twilight_tone: We just set our clocks forward one hour.

whistl_stahp: it's spring in the northern hemisphere.

rollinboxcars: oh.

alwaysbpositive: hey @rollinboxcars! Guess who just woke up!!

rollinboxcars: shit.

whistl_stahp: is it dark out, wherever you are?

alwaysbpositive: NO!!! it's DUSK!

alwaysbpositive: I haven't risen before sunset since I got TURNED!

alwaysbpositive: I just opened the blinds without thinking and BOOM!

alwaysbpositive: REAL DAYLIGHT

rollinboxcars: shit shit shit I'm sorry

whistl_stahp: you're okay, right?

alwaysbpositive: NO I AM NOT OKAY! I could have DIED!

alwaysbpositive: all because THESE STUPID DICE WOKE ME UP

rollinboxcars: I really thought I fixed them

alwaysbpositive: fuck your GAME, fuck your DICE, and FUCK YOU.

alwaysbpositive started a video call that lasted less than thirty seconds.7

rollinboxcars: lo;p.i]'[p}

meatgerm: harsh.

twilight_tone: Wow

WHEREISMYHOG: wasted

twilight_tone: I don't think I've ever seen you keysmash before.

rollinboxcars: toot bokoo

twilight_tone: Sorry, what?

rollinboxcars: toh borke

WHEREISMYHOG: wat

twilight_tone: ??

whistl_stahp: "tooth broke"?

rollinboxcars: ^^^

twilight_tone: Oh, YIKES.

whistl_stahp: well.

WHEREISMYHOG: lmao bro I warned you

whistl_stahp: I think it's safe to say we're done.

WHEREISMYHOG: warned you bout that backlash

meatgerm: BUT WHAT ABOUT THE CLIFFHANGER??

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rollinboxcars: hey @everyone. I just wanted to say I'm really sorry about what happened last week

WHEREISMYHOG: lmao yeah you better be

rollinboxcars: I assumed the group exploit would solve everything. I didn't know you guys had a time change coming up, and I didn't realize that could be so dangerous

rollinboxcars: @alwaysbpositive, I apologize for putting you at risk. like whistl said in the first session, this is supposed to be a safe space, and I fucked it up.

WHEREISMYHOG: understatement

meatgerm: yeah itsa bummer

twilight_tone: Incidentally, these dice appear to be broken.

WHEREISMYHOG: yeah aura's all gone

rollinboxcars: shit, that figures.

rollinboxcars: just send those to my PO box in Moreno and I'll hook you up with replacements, free of charge. Least I can do for your trouble.

rollinboxcars: I'm sorry everybody. I really thought we had it this time.

whistl_stahp: thank you for being straight with us.

alwaysbpositive: yeah <3 thank you, Raul. apology accepted

rollinboxcars: you're welcome

alwaysbpositive: … how's ur mouth? ; _ ;

rollinboxcars: better! got a root canal yesterday. still hurts though.

alwaysbpositive: oh noooes! D: I'm sowwy

alwaysbpositive: offers huggs

whistl_stahp: I'm glad we could talk this out a bit.

meatgerm: so uhhh not tobe That Guy

meatgerm: but what about that CLIFFHANGER

twilight_tone: Yeah, I did trample some royalty in our last game.

whistl_stahp: trampled the bejeezus out of that guy.

rollinboxcars: wait

whistl_stahp: trampled him into a diplomatic crisis

rollinboxcars: you want to keep playing?

meatgerm: YES

whistl_stahp: Yeah, I'd love to!

twilight_tone: Same.

WHEREISMYHOG: if Doreen's cool with it then sure

alwaysbpositive: well DUH!

alwaysbpositive: I told you I'd be available once I got back! :3

meatgerm: yesss!! lets play to fnid out waht happens

rollinboxcars: well, in that case, we'll keep on rolling!

whistl_stahp: I just have one request.

rollinboxcars: name it.

whistl_stahp: no more loaded dice.

Footnotes

1. An automated agent designed to search public Internet and "dark web" content for keywords associated with GoI-5869 ("Gamers Against Weed").

2. Specifically, within 2-7 days of each planned event.

3. Vivid mental imagery, comprised of all baseline human senses.

4. Raul Nandes de Jesus is described as "male", "3d6+10" years old, with "joyous" eyes. The address field reads, "choose one".

5. Eventide, Oregon (Nx-51) is an anomalous region characterized by perpetual darkness and rainfall.

6. Likely a visual interpretation of aspect radiation associated with Elan-Vital Energy (EVE).

7. Video depicted rapid movement through a small apartment with blacked-out windows. The camera operator threw SCP-6476-2 onto a kitchen counter, then struck it with a meat tenderizer, destroying it.