Bottoms up and the devil laughs.

Infernal Revenue Service

+ CODE

- CODE

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SCP-6607 - Infernal Revenue Service

Bottoms up and the devil laughs.

A sorta-sequel to two otherwise-unrelated articles about demons: SCP-2791 and SCP-6159.

Item#: SCP-6607

Containment Class: Thaumiel

Secondary Class: Gödel

Disruption Class: ekhi

Risk Class: warning

Early pictorial representation of Entity-AG02

Special Containment Procedures:.Gödel: Item is explainable using anomalous science. All SCP-6607 instances' anomalous effects are to remain active until all requirements set out by the 2022 SCP-IRS Accords have been fulfilled.

Mobile Task Force Omega-66 ("Good Intentions Paving Service") is to monitor all species, organizations, individuals, locations, and concepts that have been affected by SCP-6607. In the event that SCP-6607-derived anomalous activity threatens to cause harm to civilians or the Veil, MTF Omega-66 is to use SCP-6607-1 to alter or neutralize the anomaly in question.

Upon the full execution of the 2022 SCP-IRS Accords, which is projected to take place in the year 2128, MTF Omega-66 is to neutralize all SCP-6607-derived anomalous activity.

Description: SCP-6607 is the collective designation given to a series of interrelated thaumaturgic rituals created with the goal of generating large quantities of Faustian-Sacramental Energy..Faustian-Sacramental Energy (FSE): Energy produced by bargains made with demonic entities, sacrifices made in their name, ritualized worship of demonic entities, etc.

It is theorized that demonic entities solely draw subsistence from the generation and subsequent absorption of FSE.

Not to be confused with Tartarean Resonance Energy (TRE), which is radiation naturally produced by demonic entities. The anomalous effects of SCP-6607 instances can be remotely monitored, altered, or neutralized through performance of SCP-6607-1, dramatically reducing the risks of SCP-6607 utilization.

A complete list of all SCP-6607 instances and their effects can be obtained through an authorized request to Dr. Amaya Salazar.

Instance
Anomalous Effects

SCP-6607-13
The processing lines of 181 slaughterhouses were affixed with demonic sigils disguised as health and safety signage. Animal death within any of these environments produces amounts of FSE roughly equivalent to that found in ritual animal sacrifice.

SCP-6607-92
When this instance is performed, all seawater within a 100 m radius is transmuted into B positive human blood, generating an amount of FSE proportional to the quantity of water in range. Blood produced by this instance is not to be used in transfusions under any circumstance.

SCP-6607-167
The road layouts of 45 cities were retrocausally altered to resemble various demonic sigils. Thaumic scans have determined that all instances of vehicle damage and "road rage" that take place in these cities generate FSE.

SCP-6607-200
The first letter of Shell plc, a British oil and gas corporation, temporarily vanished during the performance of this instance. Following its completion, all of Shell's operations have been observed to continuously generate trace amounts of FSE. It is probable that this will gradually alter the spiritual physiology of Shell's board of directors, rendering them unable to "pass on" to a non-demonic afterlife..Considering the moral implications of Shell's role in the ongoing climate crisis, I highly doubt that they would've ended up anywhere else. —Salazar

SCP-6607-244
The Darvaza gas crater.Otherwise known as the "Gates of Hell" or "Door to Hell." has become a one-way dimensional gateway to the Fourth Circle of Hell. It appears to be converting the non-thaumaturgic energy produced by its burning gas into FSE.

SCP-6607-328
The sound of children's laughter was audible during the performance of this instance. Upon its completion, the logo of Monster Energy was subtly altered the resemble an upside-down demonic symbol that roughly translates to: "All glory to the dread lords of the Second Circle." The act of flipping a can of Monster Energy reorients the symbol to a right side up position, generating a slight amount of FSE in the process.

Primrose Fatish Von Trevil's Sigil

Addendum 6607-1: SCP-2791

SCP-2791 was a network of anomalous processes created by ITCD Bank's Extraglobal Operations division to manipulate demonic contracts, using the profits of its contracts to cancel out their associated prices at an overall net gain. Shortly after containment began, the Foundation determined that SCP-2791's system was unsustainable and attempted to de-escalate the number and scope of its component contracts. On 02/13/2022, shortly after SCP-2791 reached its 500 million oath milestone, it was determined that neutralization through de-escalation was not possible.

Projections indicated that SCP-2791 would become uncontainable within 3 months, at which point it would rapidly destabilize and enter an Oath Cascade Event. Its component contracts would all simultaneously resolve, leading to the immediate seizure of 89% of all living souls on Earth, 24% of Earth's land mass, and three undetermined planets from our solar system.

Members of the Legal Department and Tactical Theology Department were mobilized to find an alternative method of containment or neutralization. Primrose Fatish Von Trevil,.Otherwise known as SCP-6159. who had recently entered employment with the Foundation under unrelated circumstances, was also brought onto the project due to her wealth of experience in law, demonology, and the intersection thereof.

OPEN LOG 6607-1

CLOSE LOG 6607-1

Date: 02/15/2022

Location: Reliquary Area-27

Personnel Present: Sheldon Katz, Esq. (Legal Department), Dr. Amaya Salazar (Tactical Theology Department, Demonology Division), Primrose Fatish Von Trevil, Esq. (Independent Contractor), Adrian.No surname given. (Familiar/Paralegal/Emotional Support Animal)

Salazar: You’re late.

Katz: Nice to see you too, Amaya. [Pause.] You must be Mrs. Fatish Von Trevil.

Fatish Von Trevil: Pleasure to meet you.

[Katz and Fatish Von Trevil shake hands.]

Katz: Likewise. My name is—

Fatish Von Trevil: I know who you are, Mr. Katz.

Katz: You do?

Fatish Von Trevil: My old mentor speaks highly of you. I believe you would know him as… what was his designation?

[Adrian flips through a notepad.]

Adrian: SCP-738.

[Katz's left eye twitches twice.]

Katz: Ah. Yes. Him.

Katz: Moving right along.

Salazar: Let's start by getting the obvious questions out of the way. Sheldon, are we absolutely certain that there's no legal loophole for to get us out of this?

Katz: Yes and no. We have plenty of experience in nullifying anomalous contracts— but voiding even one oath would disrupt the delicate balance of 2791's system. It would only further destabilize the anomaly.

Fatish Von Trevil: I concur with Mr. Katz’s assessment.

Salazar: What about you, Mrs. Fatish Von Trevil? Do you have a plan in mind for us?

Fatish Von Trevil: I do not have a plan, what sort of amateur do you take me for? I have twenty-seven plans.

Salazar: Go ahead.

Fatish Von Trevil: It has come to my attention that the Foundation has access to formidable cross-universe transportation technology. I suggest we use it to divert the prices invoked by SCP-2791 to an alternate Earth.

Katz: Not possible. It would be a direct violation the Multi-Foundation Pact of 1981. Besides, there's no way the Ethics Committee would allow it.

Fatish Von Trevil: I would assume that this committee would be equally displeased about other forms of mass death?

Katz: You assume correctly.

Fatish Von Trevil: [Pause.] Motion to dismiss my prior statement regarding my number of plans.

Salazar: I’ll allow it.

Katz: Amaya, your people kill gods all the time. Could we stop Hell by force?

Salazar: Yes, theoretically. But even if we pulled it off, it would be self-defeating. Hell is a crucial part of the greater cosmos. Damaging or destroying the system of Hell would be like altering a law of physics; the ramifications are unimaginable.

Katz: What other recourse do we have?

Infernal Revenue Service

Fatish Von Trevil: There is one remaining path. Do you know of the Infernal Revenue Service?

Salazar: Of course— it's the regulatory body responsible for the governance and enforcement of demonic contracts.

Fatish Von Trevil: Yes. The IRS alone possesses the authority to nullify each of SCP-2791's contracts simultaneously, neutralizing the anomaly without inducing a cascade event.

Katz: That's not feasible. We'd need to offer assets of significantly greater value than what ITCD Bank's assorted contractors would be receiving. What could we— could anyone —provide that's worth more than nearly every soul on the planet?

Fatish Von Trevil: We are representing a bank, are we not? We shall pay them in installments.

CLOSE LOG 6607-1

Addendum 6607-2: Protocol-AG02

O5 Proposal 6607

Date: 02/16/2022

Proposal: Use Protocol-AG02 to create manageable Faustian-Sacramental Energy generators, so that they may be used to bargain with GoI-066 ("Infernal Revenue Service") to prevent a TTK-Class Tartarean-Intrusion Scenario..TTK-Class Tartarean-Intrusion Scenario: A K-Class Scenario in which one or more tartarean dimensions (Hell, Hades, etc.) gain influence over baseline reality.

COUNCIL VOTE SUMMARY:

YEA
ABSTAIN
NAY

O5-01

O5-02

O5-03

O5-04

O5-05

O5-06

O5-07

O5-08

O5-09

O5-10

O5-11

O5-12

O5-13

STATUS

APPROVED

OPEN LOG 6607-2

CLOSE LOG 6607-2

Date: 02/19/2022

Location: Reliquary Area-27

Personnel Present: Dr. Amaya Salazar (Tactical Theology Department, Demonology Division), Primrose Fatish Von Trevil, Esq. (Independent Contractor)

Sigil-AG02

[Salazar begins painting Sigil-AG02 onto the center of the thaumaturgic testing chamber's floor with Compound-AG02.].Compound-AG02: 18% pig blood, 47% lamb blood, 29% human blood from a donor who has not previously used their blood for a thaumaturgic ritual, and 6% vintage wine.

Fatish Von Trevil: I am rather surprised that the Foundation has not found a way to automate this process.

Salazar: [Chuckling.] Only a handful of days working here and you already know us so well. We tried that, but it turns out the act of inscribing by hand is part of it— the human element is crucial for this kind of thaumaturgy.

Salazar: Besides, I think Entity-AG02 would be offended if he found out he had been summoned by a machine and his yelling gives me cluster headaches.

Fatish Von Trevil: About him— why have you chosen Duke Agares for this transaction?

Salazar: Because our human thaumaturges don't have enough collective firepower to get something of this scale done within our time frame. Do you think he's unsuitable?

Fatish Von Trevil: No. He has a reputation for reliable spellwork. I am surprised that you would take such a risk— Dukes of Hell are known for a certain cruelty in the prices they demand of their summoners. Even turning down their offered bargains has its own grisly cost.

Salazar: This one is a… unique case. He was involved in an incident that led to the founding of Tactical Theology and ended up metaphysically tethered to the department. We get his services at a premium.

Fatish Von Trevil: It is known that he can grant the power to draw a fugitive back into their cage. Could this be the Foundation's influence?

Salazar: Probably. These connections go both ways.

[Salazar completes Sigil-AG02.]

Salazar: There. Are you ready?

Fatish Von Trevil: Yes.

[Salazar activates Sigil-AG02. Its edges catch fire and all other light sources within a 30 m radius dim by approximately 50 lx for the duration of the manifestation event. Entity-AG02 materializes in the center of Sigil-AG02. It has the appearance of an elderly man of indeterminable ethnicity in his mid-to-late 80s. It is riding a 10.2 m long black crocodile and holding red-tailed hawk with two heads on its left wrist. When it speaks, it is unclear if its voice is emanating from the man, crocodile, or hawk.]

Entity-AG02: Ah, I am glad to see your face once more, doctor of the Foundation. How long has it been since my last summoning?

Salazar: Seven months, give or take.

Entity-AG02: And what's this? Could it be little Primrose in the flesh once more?

[Fatish Von Trevil bows slightly.]

Fatish Von Trevil: [Stiffly.] I am honored, Duke Agares.

Entity-AG02: Quite a nasty bit of work you did on yourself. [Laughing.] I've heard of getting lost in a book, but I believe you took that a mite too far, wouldn't you say?

Fatish Von Trevil: Some would say so, yes.

Entity-AG02: How diplomatically worded! Perhaps you would've been better off in your father's line of work rather than the law.

[Fatish Von Trevil's ambient temperature increases.]

Fatish Von Trevil: Perhaps.

Entity-AG02: But I distract myself from the matter at hand; what has compelled you to summon me to your illustrious concrete halls, good doctor? Could it have anything to do with the Bank of ITCD?

Salazar: You already know about it?

Entity-AG02: How couldn't I? They practically contracted half of Hell for their little scheme. [Chuckling.] I should've known the Foundation would end up neck-deep in it.

Fatish Von Trevil: Then you understand that we seek an alternative solution.

Salazar: We need you to create a set of thaumaturgic rituals to continuously generate power for ITCD's contractors.

Entity-AG02: Hmmm.

[Entity-AG02 is quiet for 8 seconds, stroking its beard.]

Entity-AG02: What's the catch? Surely you could manage such a thing— not as easily as I, certainly, but you speak of rather standard magic.

Salazar: I was about to get to that— we need to be able to remotely control the anomalous effects of these rituals after performing them.

[Entity-AG02 claps its hands.]

Entity-AG02: Ah, there's the controlling autocrats I adore! You can't bear to create something you're unable to control, can you?

Fatish Von Trevil: What will be your price, Duke of Hell?

Entity-AG02: Oh, you need not give me a single thing.

Salazar: What?

Entity-AG02: All I ask for is your gratitude… and 3% of all power born of these rituals.

Salazar: [Pause.] Fine. I accept your terms.

Entity-AG02: Wonderful, wonderful! Let's get to work, shall we?

CLOSE LOG 6607-2

Addendum 6607-3: Initial Contact Attempts

Following the O5 Council's approval of Proposal 6607, Sheldon Katz and Adrian attempted to contact GoI-066 multiple times via their automated helpline, as the Foundation had not yet discovered an alternate method to interface with the organization. The following excerpts are from Katz's first call, which persisted for nearly 6 hours.

OPEN LOG 6607-3

CLOSE LOG 6607-3

Date: 02/17/2022

Location: Reliquary Area-27

Personnel Present: Sheldon Katz, Esq. (Legal Department), Adrian (Familiar/Paralegal/Emotional Support Animal)

Katz: Are you quite certain that this is the only way?

Adrian: If you wanna talk to an actual person, yeah.

[Katz calls the IRS Helpline. The sounds of crackling fire and distant screams are faintly audible for the duration of the call.]

IRS Helpline: Welcome to the Infernal Revenue Service's automated hotline! For English, press 1. For Aramaic, press 2. For the Ashen Tongue of the Deadlands, press—

[Katz presses 1.]

Adrian: Press 5. Then 2. Now 9. Wait until you hear the sound of a waterlogged corpse being thrown down a flight of stairs. [Pause.] Okay, now say "disestablishmentarianism."

IRS Helpline: We at the Infernal Revenue Service value all those we service. We value your time. We value your trust. We value your obedience. We value your blood. We value your skin. We value your teeth. We value your—

[12.1 minutes of audio unlogged due to data corruption.]

IRS Helpline: —and we value your time.

[Katz exhales sharply through his nose.]

IRS Helpline: To speak to a representative, press 8.

Katz: [Muttering.] Christ, finally.

[Katz presses 8. Hold music interspersed with wet tearing sounds and low moans plays for 2.9 hours.]

IRS Helpline: We're sorry, all of our representatives are currently busy. Please call again at a later time.

[The call ends. Katz is quiet for 13 seconds.]

Katz: I fucking hate the IRS.

[Adrian pats Katz's shoulder.]

After 12 individual attempts, Katz determined that contacting GoI-066 via the IRS Helpline within the allotted time frame was not feasible.

Date: 02/20/2022

Location: Reliquary Area-27

Personnel Present: Sheldon Katz, Esq. (Legal Department), Dr. Amaya Salazar (Tactical Theology Department, Demonology Division), Primrose Fatish Von Trevil, Esq. (Independent Contractor), Adrian (Familiar/Paralegal/Emotional Support Animal)

Salazar: It smells like an ashtray in here. Didn't you quit smoking last year?

Katz: I don't want to talk about it.

[Katz puts out his cigarette.]

Fatish Von Trevil: I take it you were unable to contact the IRS?

[Katz lights another cigarette.]

Katz: I was not.

Adrian: Why don't we just call up Marion?

Fatish Von Trevil: Adrian!

Adrian: Sorry, but I don't see what other option we have.

Salazar: Who's Marion?

Fatish Von Trevil: [Pause.] Marion was my partner when I was studying pre-law. She is currently a senior representative of the IRS.

Salazar: Was this a personal or professional partnership?

Fatish Von Trevil: Yes.

Katz: Why. Didn't you bring her up four days ago? Were you that afraid of seeing your ex?

Fatish Von Trevil: No. I was uncertain of what would happen if she were brought onto this case.

Fatish Von Trevil: Marion is— and understand that I do not say this with any degree of frivolity —one of the most dangerous people I have ever met. Introducing her to this case will only make matters exponentially more dangerous.

Katz: Considering that she's our only option at the moment, I'm willing to take that risk. Call her.

Fatish Von Trevil: Very well. I suggest we complete our preparations first— lawyers may work quickly, but Marion works faster.

CLOSE LOG 6607-3

Site-666

Addendum 6607-4: 2022 SCP-IRS Accords

A meeting with GoI-066's representative was hosted in Site-666, due to its superior anti-demon equipment and the fact that Las Vegas is considered neutral territory by demonic entities.

OPEN LOG 6607-4

CLOSE LOG 6607-4

Date: 02/21/2022

Location: Site-666

Personnel Present: Sheldon Katz, Esq. (Legal Department), Primrose Fatish Von Trevil, Esq. (Independent Contractor), Adrian (Familiar/Paralegal/Emotional Support Animal)

[Katz and Fatish Von Trevil sit at one end of Conference Room B's table. Adrian floats near Fatish Von Trevil's head.]

Katz: When did you say she was coming again?

Fatish Von Trevil: 3:46 PM.

Katz: That's oddly specific.

Adrian: It's a demon thing.

Fatish Von Trevil: She should be arriving in five… four… three… two…

Fatish Von Trevil: Now.

[A Tartarean-class demonic entity manifests on the opposite side of the room, already sitting at the table. It is a feminine humanoid that resembles an extinct species of vampire bat (desmodus draculae) and wears a red suit.]

Fatish Von Trevil: Marion.

[Entity-6607 nods.]

Entity-6607: Lovely to see you again, Rosebud. You too, Adrian dear—

Fatish Von Trevil: Enough pleasantries. We have work to do.

[Entity-6607 flicks one of its ears in apparent irritation.]

Entity-6607: [Sighing.] If you insist. My name is Marion, I'm a representative of the Infernal Revenue Service, here to speak on behalf of all those contracted to ITCD Bank's Extraglobal Operations division. Which is to say, I speak for the Gehennan Parliament, the Garden of Unearthly Delights, Mammon Industries™, and a wide assortment of independent demons, devils, fiends, imps, succubi, incubi, profane spirits, walking blasphemies, and possessed dolls.

Entity-6607: Now… what do you have in mind for us today, Rosebud? What do have to give us that's more valuable than all of Neptune?

Fatish Von Trevil: We possess no such thing.

Entity-6607: Go on.

Katz: We're not here for a trade of assets. We're here to provide you a business offer.

[Fatish Von Trevil hands a stack of documents describing each SCP-6607 instance (with the exception of SCP-6607-1) in detail to Adrian, who brings it to Entity-6607. Entity-6607 begins reading it.]

Fatish Von Trevil: In exchange for the nullification of all of ITCD Bank's current contracts, we shall set these rituals into motion.

[Entity-6607 does not respond for 3.5 minutes as it continues to read at a rapid pace. Afterwards, it tosses the stack of documents onto the table.]

Entity-6607: You're losing your touch, Rosebud. These profits aren't bad, but they're peanuts in comparison to what is already owed.

Katz: Try to keep in mind the length of Foundation's reach— our influence exceeds nearly all other earthly authorities. We'll be able to push each ritual's influence to a global scale.

Fatish Von Trevil: Look again to page 213. It has detailed estimations of how much energy each ritual can produce under such conditions. Within a single century, we will have generated an equivalent amount of power for your clients.

Adrian: With 30% interest!

Entity-6607: I suppose that's not entirely terrible— but I want an upfront payment in addition to what you're offering. Something significant. My people will need proof that you're serious about this.

Adrian: You want even more?!

Entity-6607: And I won't even consider accepting this agreement until I get it, dearest.

Katz: You're bluffing. ITCD's contracts might be a large profit for Hell, but we both know you need us humans alive, long-term. Destroy the world and you'll have nothing left to feed upon. No acquisition is worth that much.

[Fatish Von Trevil places a hand on Katz's shoulder.]

Fatish Von Trevil: Mr. Katz—

Entity-6607: Do you really think that humans are our only clientele? That we would limit our efforts to your little ball of water and gas?

Entity-6607: There are planets where the edicts of devils stand above all others. There are great starfaring ships that skip from galaxy to galaxy through blood and profane science. There are Dyson spheres of stygian iron that encircle hellfire stars.

Entity-6607: The universe is wide and strange, little lawyer, and you cannot begin to comprehend Hell's place in it.

Entity-6607: Is Earth valuable to us? Of course! But it's hardly invaluable.

[Katz glances at Fatish Von Trevil to confirm the veracity of Entity-6607's statement. Fatish Von Trevil nods.]

Katz: I'll need a moment to confer with my superiors.

Entity-6607: Certainly— we have all the time in the world, after all.

Katz shortly gained signed permission for the surrender of several high-value demonic objects and entities to GoI-066's custody upon the signing of the 2022 SCP-IRS Accords. Negotiation of the Accords' exact terms began shortly afterward. As negotiations carried on for nearly 19 hours, the majority of proceedings has been redacted for the sake of brevity.

Katz: The amendment you added to paragraph 3 of subsection 7A is unacceptable.

Entity-6607: Whatever do you mean? All that does is lower the owed quantity of "FSE" by a rather significant amount. I was doing Rosebud a favor, for old times' sake. That's all.

Fatish Von Trevil: A favor? You would lower our FSE debt in exchange for every soul in Florida.

Entity-6607: It'd be doing the world a favor, if you ask me.

Fatish Von Trevil: I did not ask. Remove it.

Entity-6607: As you say, darling.

Entity-6607: I have some more revisions for you to look over.

Katz: [Pause.] Do any of these revisions consign people to hell?

Entity-6607: Define "people."

Katz: [Examining revision 84-A of the 2022 SCP-IRS Accords.] Look at this, Trevil. This isn't legal, right?

Fatish Von Trevil: [Pause.] I am surprised, Marion. I never thought you would partake in such a glaring error.

Entity-6607: Are you sure about that?

Fatish Von Trevil: I am certain. You know well that I have memorized all laws and regulations regarding infernal contracts. I have read them countless times.

Entity-6607: Read them again.

[Entity-6607 snaps its fingers. A long parchment scroll materializes in its other hand in a burst of fire. It hands the scroll to Fatish Von Trevil, who reads its contents.]

Fatish Von Trevil: An amendment was made…. less than a day ago? And it has already come into effect? Was this your doing?

Entity-6607: [Examining its nails.] I might have called in a few favors.

Fatish Von Trevil: This amendment is small, but its consequences spread far— we have many revisions to make, Mr. Katz.

Adrian: I'll get more coffee.

Katz: Please do.

Fatish Von Trevil: [Whispering.] Do you understand my trepidation regarding Marion, now?

Katz: [Whispering.] Yes… To think I'd miss 738. God.

Entity-6607: Did you two say something?

Katz: No.

Fatish Von Trevil: Of course not.

[Agent Kirchner enters Conference Room B. She appears to be slightly out of breath.]

Kirchner: Site-666 is under attack— we're seeing sudden bursts in demonic activity all over Undervegas. I'm here to bring both of you to the nearest safe room.

Katz: I'll be staying here, Agent.

Kirchner: I don't think you understand—

Fatish Von Trevil: Marion.

Entity-6607: Yes, Rosebud?

Fatish Von Trevil: Stop. This. Now.

[A distant explosion is audible and the room slightly shakes.]

Entity-6607: I don't possibly know what you mean! I have nothing to do with any of this. Not in any way that would be admissible as evidence.

Fatish Von Trevil: Marion.

Entity-6607: I'd be happy to lend my assistance, of course. Help you smooth this all over. Though, I won't be able to do a thing until we get these Accords signed…

[Fatish Von Trevil stands up abruptly, knocking over her chair. An ornate trident materializes in her hands.]

Fatish Von Trevil: Continue working, Mr. Katz. I will resolve the situation.

Katz: Shouldn't we leave that to the soldiers?

Fatish Von Trevil: Have you read my file? I have experience as both a mercenary and diplomatic liaison.

Katz: Do you intend to make peace with our attackers or…?

Fatish Von Trevil: I suppose that is up to them, is it not?

[Fatish Von Trevil walks past Kirchner and exits the room. 25 seconds later, distant inhuman screams become audible.]

Katz: So, I have some concerns about subsection 21A.

[Conference Room B shakes more forcefully.]

Katz: Let's talk about that.

[Conference Room B's lights are dimmed, due to Site-666 having switched to auxiliary power. Significant structural damage is visible. Fatish Von Trevil is covered in blood, none of it her own. Katz's left eye is twitching uncontrollably.]

Fatish Von Trevil: We are done, yes?

Entity-6607: It seems you haven't lost your touch after all, Rosebud.

[Entity-6607 signs the 2022 SCP-IRS Accords.]

Entity-6607: Let's do this again sometime. Ciao!

[Entity-6607 dematerializes in a burst of fire and smoke. The smoke floats towards the ceiling and activates the room's sprinklers. Fatish Von Trevil, Katz, and Adrian do not attempt to leave.]

Katz: I… fucking hate the IRS.

Adrian: We all do, buddy. We all do.

[The ceiling collapses.]

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