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

SCP-5408 " Customer Dissatisfaction Guaranteed" by: DrAkimoto

~DrAkimoto's Author Page~

2/5408 LEVEL 2/5408

CLASSIFIED

Item #: SCP-5408

Special Containment Procedures

Oceanic Task Force Delta-14 will maintain a 2 km² exclusion zone around the island that previously contained SCP-5408, under the guise of radiation contamination testing. Fragments of SCP-5408-A material are held within Secure Radioactive Container 5 at Site-104.

All information regarding the Mageírema Event and the Vela Incident1 is to be falsified and the events attributed to South African/Israeli nuclear testing.

Description

SCP-5408 and Provisional Site-Q33.

SCP-5408 was a semi-organic entity of unknown origins that resembled a late 20th-century lighthouse, located on a small island in the Indian Ocean. The exact structures that allowed SCP-5408 to sustain life are unknown; sample analysis indicates it was composed of silicon, iron, organic tissue2, nickel, and strontium-90. Though composed of large quantities of strontium-90, SCP-5408 showed no signs of radioactivity on external sensors prior to the Mageírema Event. Four rectangular orifices were located along its vertical shaft that expelled an ammonium-nitrate compound every 14 hours. This process was theorized to be a byproduct of a respiratory system. SCP-5408 was capable of broadcasting a long-range radio transmission that originated from a large crystal housed at the summit(designated SCP-5408-A).

SCP-5408-A was composed of a previously unknown organic crystalloid compound, capable of long-range communication. The transmissions broadcast from SCP-5408-A were a quadratic code system intermittent with theta waves; when decrypted the language used was a modern dialect of Kiswahili3. The housing surrounding SCP-5408-A was impenetrable, making pre-neutralization testing impossible.

Discovery

Location of SCP-5408.

On 1978/12/21, Foundation satellite OU/556 detected a large spike in theta particles located on an island near Prince Edward Islands in the Indian Ocean. A Foundation exploratory team discovered SCP-5408 where no previous lighthouse was observed. Upon further investigation, the anomalous nature of SCP-5408 was discovered and Provisional Site-Q33 was constructed near the anomaly. Two weeks after the discovery of SCP-5408, the first SCP-5408-A broadcast was intercepted. A Foundation decryption team spent four weeks deciphering the transmission into Kiswahili and then English. The translation was as follows:

Epoch special one time only.

Biological inhabitants, 9.1 million variants.

Many ingredients, very moist.

Microwave delight prepared by none other than [Untranslatable].

Oxygen allergy beware.

Only 13.6E18 [Untranslatable], buy now.

Location upon reservation. Meal upon arrival.

SCP-5408-A broadcasted this transmission every two weeks until 1979/09/12 at which time the Mageírema Event initiated.

Mageírema Event

On 1979/09/12, the SCP-5408-A broadcast changed composition, the updated translation was as follows:

Many thanks, purchase confirmed.

Reservation accepted for [Untranslatable].

Preparations begin on [Untranslatable].

On 1979/09/22 SCP-5408 began emitting large amounts of non-ionizing radiation through an unknown process. This radiation was similar to that used in microwave ovens, but at an exponentially greater concentration, increasing by a factor of 50% every 30 minutes. An emergency meeting of the O5 Council was formed and in a unanimous decision, brute-force neutralization was authorized.

SCP-5408's neutralization.

Five hours after the approval was finalized, a dual-yield thaumic bomb known as the R5 "Twin Canary" was detonated at the summit of SCP-5408. Neutralization of SCP-5408 was successful though several inert fragments of SCP-5408-A remained.

The neutralization of SCP-5408 was detected by multiple civilian satellites, most notably the Vela Hotel satellite. Foundation assets within the United States and Soviet governments began a disinformation campaign aligning the event with South African/Israeli nuclear testing.

SCP-5408 W Event.

At 09:23 GMT on 1979/09/23, an unknown energy phenomenon was detected by Foundation satellite GV-4433 located 25,000 km from Earth. The anomaly remained stationary for 36 minutes before dissipating. The exact nature of the anomaly is undetermined and was designated the SCP-5408 W Event.

On 1979/12/16, the Foundation intercepted a quadratic code system transmission identical to the one used by SCP-5408-A, originating from outside of the Sol System. The translation is as follows:

Rate one sun.

Large disappointment, want refund.

Arrived to raw meal, no service, no [Untranslatable].

Left without eating.

Do not recommend.

Following this transmission, no further SCP-5408 related activity has occurred.

Footnotes

1. The Vela incident is the civilian designation for the flashes caused by SCP-5408's neutralization.

2. DNA/RNA analysis revealed the presence of 19 previously undiscovered nucleotide groups.

3. Also known as Swahili.