Item #: SCP-3951

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: Monitoring of SCP-3951 should be conducted through unmanned drones. SCP-3951-1 is not to be entered without first requesting permission from SCP-3951. SCP-3951 should be monitored for signs of imminent movement so that seismic activity warnings can be issued. Engaging in conversation with SCP-3951 should be avoided. No domesticated dogs should be brought into the presence of SCP-3951 while the dog is accompanied by a human.

Update: After the events of 12/14/16, no unnecessary contact is authorized at this time.

Description: SCP-3951 is a 362 meter long white Arctic wolf, capable of speech in Inuktitut. SCP-3951 is located in the Arctic Circle at ██ degrees North, ███ West. SCP-3951 will tolerate the presence of humans, but engaging it in conversation on subjects that it dislikes will often result in it consuming the person talking to it. It will often consume its victims in a drawn-out and prolonged manner - it has been hypothesized that this is a method of retribution rather than a desire for sustenance.

A roughly hemispherical cavern in the ice has formed around SCP-3951, with an entrance facing south. This formation has been designated SCP-3951-1. Occasionally, herds of caribou or downs of arctic hares will appear within SCP-3951-1; SCP-3951 will then consume them. The survivors will escape into cracks in the ice and dematerialize. These herds appear to be SCP-3951's food source, generated at will.

Embedded in the eastern side of SCP-3951-1 is a waterfall 80 meters in height that generates a mixture of caribou blood, rendered seal fat, and fermented reindeer milk. This feature is designated SCP-3951-2. Pods of harp seals can sometimes be found swimming in the pool that has formed below SCP-3951-2, which SCP-3951 will then consume. It is theorized that, much like the aforementioned caribou and rabbits, these seals appear only when SCP-3951 is hungry.

SCP-3951 never exits SCP-3951-1 and exhibits little movement, mainly shifting from laying on its back to laying on its side and vice versa. However, if SCP-3951 were to actually leave SCP-3951-1, the resulting seismic damage would be catastrophic. Its paws are oversized and its legs appear to be thicker relative to its body than a non-anomalous wolf, suggesting it could be capable of supporting itself despite its immense size and weight.

SCP-3951 continuously drinks from SCP-3951-2, showing the ability to start and stop the flow of liquid at will. Due to the alcohol content of the substance, SCP-3951's behavior shows signs of severe inebriation - specifically, slurred speech and a tendency towards publicly airing its grievances.

SCP-3951 was located after satellite imagery found enormous canid footprints leading to SCP-3951-1 dating back to the Holocene epoch. SCP-3951 does not appear to have left SCP-3951-1 since.

Interview Log 1:

Interviewer: Dr. Arnatsiaq

Interviewed: SCP-3951

Date: 12/11/16

Information: SCP-3951 had remained awake for 2 months. This was the longest period of wakefulness exhibited by SCP-3951 since its discovery in 1964. Previous times had been far shorter in duration - usually 3 to 6 days. Contact was initiated in hopes of gaining coherent information about SCP-3951. It is of note that SCP-3951's eyes were closed when Dr. Arnatsiaq approached.

<BEGIN LOG>

Dr. Aglukark: Hello!

SCP-3951: Who dares wake me from my slumber!?

Dr. Aglukark: I'm…Dr. Arnatsiaq. I'm an envoy. We're looking to learn more about you. Who you are.

SCP-3951: Mmmm. You deign to forget me, Amarok, beast of the Arctic, bane of prey-things, father of all? Hmmph. I suppose it is to be expected.

(Dr. Aglukark enters SCP-3951-1. SCP-3951 opens his eyes, and sees Dr. Aglukark.)

SCP-3951: Er…Well, this is unexpected. You surprise me - a rare and worthy feat! Name your species, mortal?

Dr. Aglukark: Human.

SCP-3951: Ha! Last time I saw you, your kind was cowering in the bushes! I will admit, however, I have always had a special place for you in my heart of hearts - not my absolute favorite creation, of course, but a particularly liked race. It warms me to see you prosper.

Dr. Aglukark: You made us?

SCP-3951: Of course!

Dr. Aglukark: Thank you?

SCP-3951: And yet you appear to have no master. Has the fruit of my loins not conquered you?

Dr. Aglukark: Well, er … We've trained them? To help us around the house, and with the herds, and when hunting.

(SCP-3951's eye opens wider.)

SCP-3951: Wait. You trained them?

Dr. Aglukark: That's correct, yes.

(SCP-3951's fur begins bristling.)

SCP-3951: Oh, fuck no. Fuck. Fucking hell. I'm gonna kill those dumbass canines. Bring me one of my children.

Dr. Aglukark: Your children?

SCP-3951: You heard me! Here, I'll spell it out for you, you glorified lemur. Bring a dog. Bring me a goddamn dog, or I crush your puny spine!

<END LOG>

Interview Log 2:

Interviewer: Dr. Aglukark

Interviewed: SCP-3951

Date: 12/14/16

Information: Dr. Aglukark approached SCP-3951 with a female Samoyed, a male Golden Retriever, and a male Chihuahua.

<BEGIN LOG>

Dr. Aglukark: SCP-3951! May I come in?

SCP-3951: Come on in, you hairless cretin.

Dr. Aglukark: I brought the dogs, as requested.

SCP-3951: Brilliant. Now shut the hell up. (SCP-3951 speaks to the Samoyed.) Let me take a look at you.

(The Samoyed trots forward.)

SCP-3951: All right, then. Not bad as bad as we thought. Wait. What's the deal with the collar?

(The Samoyed does not respond.)

SCP-3951: Are you deaf? Oh. Oh no. Oh, fucking hell.

(SCP-3951 begins speaking slowly and over-articulating.)

SCP-3951: Can you speak?

Dr. Aglukark: Speak, Mhyka!

(The Samoyed barks. SCP-3951 places a paw over its eyes.)

SCP-3951: What the hell!?

SCP-3951: (SCP-3951 removes its paw and addresses the Golden Retriever.) You let them castrate you!? They were supposed to be your snacks! Oh, fucking hell. You let them domesticate you, didn't you.

Dr. Aglukark: I apologize if we've upset you?

(The Chihuahua, which Dr. Aglukark had wrapped in blankets, emerges. Upon seeing the Chihuahua, SCP-3951 turns to Dr. Aglukark.)

SCP-3951: What. The. Fuck. That is not a wolf. No way in hell that's a wolf… oh, (sniffs) fucking shit fuck, the smell is right. What the hell is that?! What in the fuck did you apes do!?

Dr. Aglukark: I'm sorry, have I done something wrong?

SCP-3951: (breathing heavily) You took. My children. My beautiful children. And bred them to make a squeaking rat!

(SCP-3951 takes a drink from SCP-3951-2, and addresses the dogs.)

SCP-3951: I get you idiots through the Ice Age. I make you a great fucking planet. I give you trees, and lakes, and a ton of convenient snacks. I take a nap for two fucking millennia, and I wake up a laughingstock. Fuck, Amaguq's never gonna let me live this down. Fucking smarmy little prick. "Brotherly love" my ass. (Glaring at the Chihuahua) You're a disappointment, you know that?

(The Chihuahua licks Dr. Aglukark's face. SCP-3951 glares at Dr. Aglukark.)

SCP-3951: I never should have given you idiots thumbs.

<END LOG>