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A digital estimation of SCP-7664's appearance, illustrated by Researcher Rowan Raster. Click here to view stain diagram.

Item #: SCP-7664

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-7664 is held at Site-433 within a small sterile containment chamber, positioned at the far side of the chamber. During testing, research personnel are to maintain a safe distance from SCP-7664 and should cover their eyes if necessary. Any changes in SCP-7664's appearance should be reported immediately.

Staff that have recently interacted with SCP-7664 during testing are advised to enter the decontamination chamber so as not to risk infection. Easily nauseated personnel are not to be assigned to SCP-7664. Photography of SCP-7664 is not to be performed outside of testing.

SCP-7664 infected individuals are kept within quarantine chambers until their symptoms subside. Attempts at treatment are only to be performed during testing. Investigation into the interrogative uses of SCP-7664 are ongoing.

Subjects who have been infected by SCP-7664 in the past are to be reported and accounted for during disciplinary hearings.

Description: SCP-7664 is a cardboard standee, about 209 cm tall, resembling the cartoon character "Dandy Doggone" from Rumpus the Ram.12 Dandy is illustrated cautiously sniffing the air to his right and nervously looking to his left. The cardboard SCP-7664 is constructed with is stained3 and torn in areas, but is in otherwise relatively good condition. SCP-7664's material is coarse in texture and has been described by several D-Class as "rocky" or "granular".

Subjects who have stared at SCP-7664 for long periods of time claim to see the illustration of Dandy blink. This specific phenomenon has yet to be captured.

SCP-7664 has the anomalous property of rapidly accelerating any bacterial growth upon its surface; it also emits odors of varying scents, typically one that is personally4 unpleasant to the individual closest to SCP-7664.5 The precise source of this odor is yet to be identified. Prolonged exposure has previously induced fits of hysteria, nausea, and intense guilt in subjects. Whether or not this reaction is anomalously produced is poorly understood.

Magnified image of SCP-7664. Cognitohazardous material redacted.

When observing SCP-7664 from a closer distance, evidence of decay and contamination increases to an anomalous degree. At a distance of 0.6 meters, the character of "Dandy Doggone" is no longer distinguishable, and SCP-7664 instead resembles a hyper-intricate mural of [DATA EXPUNGED], personalized to the subject.6 These changes in appearance are preserved in photographs. All subjects that fully comprehend a portion of the mural experience intense revulsion. Additional common responses have included vomiting and falling unconscious. This is believed to be partially cognitohazardous.

The contents of the mural are intensely traumatic and capable of inducing symptoms of PTSD in already previously-traumatized subjects. Treatment with amnestics is only partially successful, as it currently appears the only way to fully alleviate the subject of these symptoms is treatment via art therapy. The art produced by affected subjects, while potentially disturbing, does not have the same cognitohazardous properties as the mural. Subjects have expressed feelings of relief, acceptance, and levity when completing artwork.

The secondary anomalous effect of SCP-7664 activates whenever a subject contracts a bacterial infection from its surface. 7664-infected individuals' appearances will become vulgarly deformed by unknown means. These deformities exaggerate features that the infected individual feels most insecure about. Individuals also develop poor impulse control, acting out in a performatively crude manner. Controlling these impulses has been described by several infected as mentally and physically strenuous, in extreme cases leading to migraines or muscle cramps. Infected individuals are unable to spread their illness to others, even if their illness is contagious in nature.

The illness contracted from SCP-7664 can vary, and will always manifest as an existing disease, but symptoms will be prolonged7 and magnified to an often excessive degree. These symptoms do not wane, leaving the 7664-infected individual in a continual state of acute discomfort. Infected subjects also appear to have a larger chance of being involved in situations considered either exaggeratedly mortifying, dramatic, or humorous. Non-infected individuals around an infected subject will either express displeasure and disgust at the subject or acute feelings of schadenfreude.

Attempts at treating an infected subject of their illness will cause the subject to undergo further bodily deformation and a prolonging of the illness. This is often followed by an anomalously-exaggerated flare-up in the instance's illness.

This process is never fatal despite the extreme amounts of bodily stress it inflicts upon the instance.

+ Case Study

- Case Study

Administration

Observation

Conclusion

Infected Subject: D-1711

Contracted Ailment: Viral gastroenteritis8

Treatment: Dose D-1711 with antidiarrheal medication.9

Additional Notes: Testing administered and observed by Dr. Maria and Dr. Callen. Due to the irritable state of D-1711, the medication is administered by two researchers. Two guards are positioned outside the door to the room containing D-1711. After dosing D-1711 with medication, researchers are instructed to view D-1711 through the observational window and describe what they see.

[BEGIN LOG]

The observation room is empty, save for a bedridden D-1711 in immense discomfort. His body is wrapped almost entirely with a blanket, and he can be seen covering his head with a pillow, audibly groaning whilst shifting positions every few minutes.

The door opens. Maria and Callen enter, taking a second to observe their surroundings. Maria is seen holding a clipboard and pen, while Callen is seen holding a bottle of antidiarrheal medicine. D-1711 quickly pulls himself further underneath the covers at the sound of the door creaking.

Dr. Maria: Good evening, D-1711. How are we feeling?

D-1711 hisses, pounding on the mattress with his fist in apparent frustration. Callen sighs and clears his throat.

Dr. Callen: Please. We understand you're not in the best state at the moment, but we require your cooperation. Don't waste time. How are you feeling?

D-1711: Piss off.

D-1711 sticks his right hand from out of the covers, extending his middle finger at the researchers.

Dr. Maria: D-1711, we came to help. This behavior is unnecessary.

D-1711: Came to help my crusty ass! Why'd you make me lick it?10

Maria covers her mouth, stifling a snicker. Callen gives her an inquisitive look.

D-1711: It's still in the back of my throat!

D-1711 grunts in pain, shuddering underneath the blanket. Callen appears impatient.

D-1711: You bastards can't help me anyway.

Dr. Callen: D-1711, get out from under the covers and stop being so dramatic. There's far worse things to experience in this facility than a stomach flu. We have guards right outside this door.

D-1711 is silent.

Dr. Callen: D-1711?

Callen sighs.

Dr. Callen: This guy always like this?

Dr. Maria: Definitely not this irritable, last I met him. Oddly chipper for someone in his position as a matter of fact.

Maria quickly writes something in her clipboard.

Dr. Maria: I believe the anomaly is just messing with his head. You think he's giving us the silent treatment?

Dr. Callen: Yeah. I'm good with handling these situations, hold on.

Callen walks towards the bed, reaching his hand out to grip the blanket.

Dr. Callen: Come on. Don't make this harder than it has to b-

Without warning, D-1711 moves frantically, quickly untangling himself from his covers, hurtling his blanket and pillow at the researchers. Maria jumps back, dodging the blanket, while Callen staggers backwards as a pillow hits his face. He sputters.

Dr. Callen: Fuck me! It's wet!

Dr. Maria: Alright, that does it, we're gonna… oh my lord…

D-1711's appearance can now be seen. Subject's skin is crusty and dry, and discolored into a chalky pale tone. His eyeballs are bulging from their sockets, pupils unfocused and loose, discolored with a film resembling algae. The nose is periodically dripping an extremely thick and viscous solution of bright green mucus. Subject's cheeks and lymph nodes are incredibly swollen. Body is near debilitatingly thin. Both researchers appear shocked, but keep their composure.

D-1711: Does all this answer your goddamn question?

D-1711 clutches his stomach, adjusting his position to throw up into a bucket on the left side of his bed. The vomit is orange in coloration, with chunks of brown. D-1711 takes a few deep breathes.

D-1711: I think it has a pretty obvious answer, geniuses.

Dr. Maria: We have something that can help with that.

D-1711: Stop lying.

Callen holds the medication out in front of D-1711. D-1711's eyes widen further, appearing as if they're about to burst. He attempts to swat the medication from Callen's hands.

D-1711: No!

Maria chuckles, unable to hold back laughter. Callen looks towards Maria.

Dr. Callen: What's with you today?

Dr. Maria: I don't know, it's just… his voice? Fuck me, he did not always sound like that.

D-1711: I guess it is pretty funny.

Dr. Callen: Hey, take it easy. What makes you so afraid?

D-1711 covers his face, crying. Tears begin pouring from his eyes at an abnormal rate and volume.

D-1711: It'll all be for nothing!

Dr. Callen: What do you mean?

D-1711 pukes again. He points at the medicine bottle.

D-1711: If you give me that stuff, I'd just be getting away with it all!

Dr. Maria: Get away with what, exactly?

D-1711: W-when… when I stole from that elderly lady!

D-1711 begins bawling.

Dr. Callen: This is getting ridiculous. Maria, restrain him for me?

Dr. Maria: Roger. If anything happens, get the guards in here.

Maria restrains D-1711, holding his arms down with her hands. D-1711 struggles whilst kicking his legs in a rapid motion. Callen avoids nearly getting kicked in the face, maneuvering carefully towards D-1711 in order to administer the medicine.

Dr. Callen: Open wide.

D-1711: Stop! Stop!

Callen forcefully opens D-1711's mouth, administrating the medicine. He then shuts D-1711's jaw until he swallows. D-1711 feigns going limp.

Dr. Callen: Woah, what the hell?

Dr. Maria: It's a trick. Don't worry about it.

Dr. Callen: Pretty convincing one, I'll give him that.

The door opens. A guard gestures to the two researchers to leave the observation room. The researchers follow suit, D-1711 attempting and failing to grab at Callen as they leave.

[END LOG]

[BEGIN LOG]

Maria and Callen are viewing D-1711 lying in bed from outside of the observation room. 20 minutes have passed since administrating the medication.

Dr. Callen: Do you know how long this is going to take?

Dr. Maria: Patience. It depends.

Dr. Callen sighs.

D-1711: Hm. Y'know…

D-1711 looks down at his right hand, staring at his index finger.

D-1711: I always did wonder.

D-1711 sticks his index finger deep into his nose.

D-1711: Can I get my finger deep enough to sleep?

Dr. Callen: Christ almighty.

Dr. Maria: Is he really picking his…

Maria begins to laugh. Callen appears perturbed, turning his head towards Maria.

Dr. Callen: What the hell has gotten into you lately? This is disgusting!

Dr. Maria: Come on, Callen. You can't tell me this isn't at least a little amusing.

Dr. Callen: All I'm seeing is a rat bastard picking his nose. You really need a break, miss.

D-1711 cringes in pain, pulling his finger out of his nostril in order to clutch at his stomach. He attempts to vocalize, but manages only to make several sharp breaths.

Dr. Maria: I think the flare-up is beginning.

Dr. Callen: I'm not sure I can watch this.

Dr. Maria: Don't act like you haven't seen worse. Remember the ranch slugs?

Callen covers his mouth, appearing slightly nauseated.

Dr. Callen: No. Not now.

D-1711 is breathing heavily and sweating profusely. He begins removing his D-Class jumpsuit. Maria begins laughing again.

Dr. Maria: He's stripping! Oh my god, he's fucking stripping!

Dr. Callen: Stop laughing! Seriously, what the fu-

Callen begins screaming. Fully naked, D-1711's abdominal cavity is revealed to be imploding onto itself, the skin surrounding it pulling inward, twisting. The dimensions of the abdomen are distorted to the point where, under conventional geometry, most of the area's organs could not be present. D-1711 clamps his hand onto his mouth in an attempt to pacify himself, his veins pulsing heavily as his skin turns a deep green.

Dr. Maria: This is just too much!

The nose and eyes of D-1711 begin leaking a noxious bright green fluid. Both nose and eyes abruptly burst out a slurry of bubbling pink bile. D-1711's eyeballs pop from their sockets, dangling from their optic nerves. He lets go of his mouth, simultaneously screaming and vomiting. D-1711 falls onto the floor and begins rolling around the floor, coating his entire body in the pink vomit. Callen stares in shock whilst Maria cackles.

Dr. Callen: Just get this over with, please…

Dr. Maria: You haven't stopped looking! Hehehaha! Cover your eyes if it upsets you that much!

Callen is shaking anxiously.

Dr. Callen: I want to stop. It'd be so easy to stop. Why am I still looking?

D-1711 rolls around the room, projectile vomiting across the walls, ceiling, and floor. The bile coating the room is abnormally adhesive, allowing D-1711 to roll across the walls and ceiling with relative ease. A large portion of the one way mirror becomes coated in the substance, as well as fogging up from the warmth of the bile, making it difficult for the researchers to see clearly. At this point, Maria falls out of her chair, struggling to breathe from the intensity of her prolonged laughter. Callen covers his face, shuttering and crying.

Dr. Callen: Mommy.

The sounds of screaming and retching begin dwindling, a loud thud being heard as D-1711 is assumed to have fallen from the ceiling. The inside of observation room is now silent, aside from the sizzling and bubbling of D-1711's bile. Minutes pass without any visible activity from D-1711. Callen and Maria attempt to ease themselves, controlling their breathing.

Dr. Maria: Oh my god. I thought I was gonna pass out. That was incredible.

Dr. Callen: Incredible? Incredible? A man blows chunks out of his eyeballs and you call that incredible? You're a fucking maniac!

Dr. Maria: Wow, someone doesn't have a sense of humor.

Dr. Callen: Someone doesn't have an ounce of professionalism in their goddamn body! How was that, in any sense of the word, funny?

Maria crosses her arms and pouts.

Dr. Maria: Jesus, you really need to lighten up, not every joke has to be brimming with wit and sophistication! Quit being so pompous.

Callen clenches his fists.

Dr. Callen: What are you fucking talking about! A man is dea-

Callen yelps, stumbling back as D-1711's hand slams onto the glass of the observation room, smearing off some of the access bile. D-1711 presses his face against the glass, revealing it to be further deformed and badly swollen, the skin sloughing and mixing in with the bile. D-1711's body is covered in corrosive burns, not unlike ones inflicted by sulfuric acid. D-1711's eyes are somehow functional, the pupils focusing in on Callen. It is unclear how the subject is able to see through the one way mirror.

D-1711: Huh? No, I wouldn't die. That's inappropriate.

Callen dry heaves. Maria smiles.

D-1711: Hey. Don't give me that look, pally! Look on the bright side.

D-1711 grins unnaturally wide, pained, the skin on his face stretching to the point it's nearly tearing. His teeth are clearly rotting, deeply stained with plaque, one loosening out of his mouth.

D-1711: Least nothing came out the other end.

Callen shrieks. [DATA EXPUNGED]11

[END LOG]

Notes: Results confirm that the method of introducing infection to a subject appears to change the nature of the phenomenon. However, further tests are required to accurately gauge the lengths of severity.

After testing, Dr. Callen was discovered at the medical ward of Site-433, vehemently demanding Class-B amnestics. These demands were denied, causing Dr. Callen grief. Dr. Maria was discovered in the observation room, unconscious. Dr. Maria later admitted during questioning that she had laughed for such an extended period of time that she had trouble breathing, and lost consciousness.

Cleaning and disinfecting of the observation room took a total of 3 days. The bed and its contents were unable to be cleaned of their stains, promptly being incinerated and replaced. Analysis of the bacteria was deemed impossible, as any attempts would cause it to rapidly undergo autolysis.

Both researchers were severely reprimanded for their unprofessional emotional outbursts displayed during testing. Demotion was considered, but their sentences were lightened to a warning as Dr. Maria discussed the possibility that SCP-7664's anomaly was influencing their behaviors.

After D-1711's illness abated months later, Dr. Maria requested access to his cell. When questioned, she stated the desire to apologize and gift D-1711 a $12 giftcard to arcade and sports bar Dave & Buster's. Request was denied.

An SCP-7664 infected individual will typically refuse treatment, claiming that they are deserving of their affliction and often refer to the affliction as a "punishment". Infected individuals frequently display penitent behavior over prior actions that they deem as regretful or shameful; they also have an acute knowledge that treatment would cause additional harm.

After an varying amount of time, the illness will abate in the subject. Symptoms will rapidly subside and the instance's deformations will demanifest entirely. Following this change is a cognitohazardous phenomenon that affects those familiar with the individual and their sickness. Persons who would otherwise have an unfavorable opinion of the individual will often suddenly approach them with the understanding that they have been punished; many forgive the individual for any misdeeds in their past whether the persons were aware of any incidents or not. In larger social settings, the individual appears to be more respected and treated more equitably by those around them in comparison to individuals with similar backgrounds who have been unaffected by SCP-7664.

Discovery: Prior to the discovery of SCP-7664, Simon Clarie, the director and creator of Rumpus the Ram, was the focus of several controversies and allegations. The most notable of these include:

Mistreatment of Sputnik Studios animators and voice actors during the production of Rumpus the Ram;

Two anonymous sexual assault allegations published online;

The belief that episodes of Rumpus the Ram co-produced by Simon are fetishistic in nature;12

An interview wherein Simon Clarie expresses sincere belief in phrenology;

Simon Clarie's general hostility towards the Rumpus the Ram online fandom.

Many subjects interviewed that interacted with Simon Clarie during this period in time described his behavior as deeply frustrated and paranoid, verging on hostile when subjects questioned his involvement in many of these controversies.

Afterwards, Simon Clarie abruptly left Sputnik Studios, leading to Rumpus the Ram's unceremonious cancellation. Many of Simon's social media accounts would also promptly be taken down in light of this, assumed to be an attempt at isolating himself from the public. It is believed that Simon Clarie was staying within his primary residence during this time.

Months afterwards, monitoring of 911 calls notified the Foundation of reports of "inhuman, banshee-like screeching" coming from within Simon Clarie's residence. Multiple agents disguised as police officers were dispatched in the area, entering the building.

The source of the "screeching" was quickly discovered to be a naked Simon in his bedroom, screaming at an extreme volume whilst clutching his lower abdomen in anguish. Many agents were quick to notice several sharp, jagged edges stretching out from the inside of Simon's pelvis. Simon's bedroom was bare, aside from several broken illustrator pens drained of their ink, surrounding Simon in a circle.

As soon as the mass was discovered, it began attempting to break out of Simon's pelvis through the urethra. Simon's scream escalated in volume, reaching an anomalous level that nearly deafened a few agents. The urethra of Simon began to stretch open into an anatomically impossibly wide cavity, a singular pawed hand composed entirely out of renal calculi13 clawing out.

Simon began to make several indecipherable choking noises in an attempt to communicate with the agents. Subsequently, the front of his pelvis stretched outwards, bursting open and completely mutilating his genitalia. This rendered Simon limp, the shock and blood loss believed to kill him instantly.

The animate renal calculi structure crawled out from within the corpse's pelvis. Bullets shot at the structure simply disappeared within, possibly becoming part of the composition. Fully pulling itself out, the structure was revealed to take on a similar shape to Dandy Doggone. The figure glistened with blood, viscera, and urine. It stated "gone and done it again"14 before its body flattened, shifting into a cardboard standee.

The standee immediately displayed anomalous properties. It took approximately an hour for the agents to reconcile what they had witnessed before retrieving SCP-7664 and moving it to Site-433.

Exploration of Simon Clarie's residence revealed a shocking absence of personal belongings, aside from a massive amount of ashes discovered within the fireplace and the aforementioned arranged broken pens. Simon's personal computer was discovered within the bathroom, shattered into multiple pieces and shoved into an overflowing toilet. Any data within the computer was rendered unrecoverable.

An autopsy of Simon Clarie revealed several abnormal qualities. Aside from the mutilated pelvis and genitalia, other oddities include the disappearance of the subject's pupils and irises, irrecoverably damaged vocal cords, kidneys completely crystalized into renal calculi, and a stomach containing heavy amounts of pen ink. The body also has yet to undergo decomposition, and the eyes occasionally leak urine from an unknown source. It currently resides within Site-433's morgue.

Due to the anomalous circumstances of Simon Clarie's death, a cover story was initiated involving his disappearance in a successful attempt to evade the consequence of his many controversies.

Interviews with members of GoI-411 ("Sputnik Studios") about the reasoning behind Simon Clarie's sudden departure were mostly met with confusion. However, a few employees would recall that the last thing they remembered Simon Clarie doing before his departure was having a private discussion with a PR firm.

Investigation has yet to uncover the identity or existence of this PR firm.

Footnotes

1. An infamous "gross out" children's television show produced by GoI-411 ("Sputnik Studios"). Starring the titular Rumpus Ram, a camo-patterned green ram with a pronounced buttock that he employs as a weapon, the series explores several anthropomorphic animal characters with various unhygienic neuroses and quirks living underground in New York. Despite critical panning, the show managed to be relatively successful, running for four seasons and gaining a small cult following.

2. Rumpus the Ram was never advertised with standees.

3. Analysis identifies the stains as consisting of a mixture of dried urine and blood.

4. Specifically tied to an experience, typically humiliating or traumatic.

5. Examples of described smells have included: Cat urine, bile, spoiled meat, raw sewage, skunk spray, smegma, hot garbage, animal feces, roadkill, various chemicals, abscess fluid, and nail fungus.

6. The mural appears to extend further than SCP-7664 itself, but full comprehension is rendered impossible, as it would require the subject to move backwards. This leads to SCP-7664's appearance altering back into resembling a standee.

7. Longest recorded time being 8 months.

8. Stomach flu

9. Bismuth subsalicylate

10. D-1711 was instructed to lick SCP-7664, in order to discover if SCP-7664 had any differencing response to an intentional attempt at infection.

11. About 9 species in total.

12. The allegation is based on what is seen as an unusually high frequency and degree of focus on sequences where male characters receive injuries, typically from pins, bee stingers or other sharp objects, to their buttocks.

13. Kidney stones

14. Dandy Doggone's catchphrase, often stated somberly after the character smells something unpleasant.

SCP-7663

But A Dream

Critter Profile: Francis!