Item#: SCP-5094

Containment Class: safe

Secondary Class: none

Disruption Class: vlam

Risk Class: notice

Footage captured during testing of SCP-5094.

Special Containment Procedures: 37 copies of Miss J's Whiz Kidz Schoolhouse are currently stored in Site-15 low-risk item storage. Any additional copies found in civilian possession should be procured via ordinary means, preferably purchased under the guise of preservation or collection. Foundation webcrawler ETA-15-NATALYA is to monitor for keywords related to SCP-5094 and remove copies of its host software and discussions of its anomalous effects.

Update 2022/07/23: Approval of the use of SCP-5094 for internal training purposes is under review.

Description: SCP-5094 is a sapient character in the discontinued children's educational CD-ROM software Miss J's Whiz Kidz Schoolhouse, released in June 1999 by Shoot the Moons Software. Its appearance is that of a stylized female humanoid, modeled as a two-dimensional cutout in a three-dimensional environment. It responds to the name "Miss J" and any feminine name beginning with J; documented examples include "Miss Julie", "Miss Jenny", and "Miss Joy".

SCP-5094 is consistently amiable in temperament; its stated purpose is education, and any conversation occurring with SCP-5094 will center on the topic. It will often engage in "lessons" lasting upwards of thirty hours, including restroom, meal, and recreation breaks for students. It is able to instruct lessons on a presently undetermined number of subjects—past lesson subjects include particle physics, marine engineering, Vietnamese military history, and Cubist sculpture—but will always begin curricula with new students by teaching letters, colors, and numbers.

The advertising for Miss J’s Whiz Kidz Schoolhouse prominently featured appeals to single and working parents, with assurances that the software would keep their children occupied while they were unable to care for them. It is hypothesized that the target demographics of this advertising campaign led to SCP-5094’s anomalous properties remaining undiscovered for the entire period of its production. Miss J’s Whiz Kidz Schoolhouse reportedly sold fewer copies than expected, and Shoot the Moons Software subsequently filed for bankruptcy in January 2004.

Addendum 5094-1: Discovery

Embedded Foundation agents were able to corroborate claims of a “living character” on an online forum dedicated to discussing abandonware1 on 2012/02/15, eight years after production of Miss J’s Whiz Kidz Schoolhouse ceased. After the existence of SCP-5094 was confirmed, it was initially classified as neutralized, as no copies of the program it resides in could be located. However, Junior Researcher Xenia Chau recovered a personal copy of the software from their home in June 2022 after being briefed on SCP-5094, after which active study began.

Test Log 5094-1

Students at an elementary school in the same district as Site-15 were contacted under pretense of academic research to test SCP-5094.

Test Date: 2022/06/17

Student: Amy Myers, grade 3. Described as notably shy but a good student.

Lesson Subject: Cats

Lesson Length: 15 hours, administered over the course of two days

Result: Student demonstrated knowledge of feline behavior, diet, and physiology on the level of professional animal behavioral scientists. Became upset when test period ended and the terminal displaying SCP-5094 shut off.

Notes: Baseline result. SCP-5094 was referred to as "Miss Janie".

Test Date: 2022/06/19

Student: Devon Williams, grade 2. Described as a difficult student with behavioral issues and a history of defiance, noted to have several learning disabilities.

Lesson Subject: Trains

Lesson Length: 15 hours, administered over the course of two days

Result: Student remained engaged with the lesson for the duration of the test period without complaint. Student demonstrated a level of knowledge on railway engineering comparable to a graduate-level education on the subject. Physical removal from the testing room was necessary due to emotional agitation at the cessation of the test.

Notes: SCP-5094 is able to teach effectively regardless of preexisting learning difficulties. No name was given to SCP-5094.

Test Date: 2022/06/22

Student: D-14417, 24 years old. Self-described as a poor student; tested poorly on pre-screening attentiveness and focus evaluations. An adult subject was ordered to determine SCP-5094's effectiveness outside of the target demographic, as well as the possibility of an emotionally compulsive effect in its lessons.

Lesson Subject: Law

Lesson Length: 30 hours, administered over the course of four days

Result: Student experienced no difficulty understanding or completing coursework assigned by SCP-5094, and repeatedly affirmed his wellbeing and clarity of mind during testing. No emotional distress was displayed after completion, though during post-test evaluation D-14417 expressed melancholy when prompted, stating that SCP-5094 was "the best teacher [he]'d ever had". D-14417 was able to successfully pass a mock bar exam with a grade of 310.

Notes: SCP-5094 was referred to as "Miss Joan". D-14417's pre-release amnesticization was selectively administered to preserve the content of his lesson with SCP-5094 and exclude the nature of the anomaly. He is currently pursuing a degree in criminal justice.

Interview 5094-1

Interviewed: SCP-5094

Interviewer: Junior Researcher Xenia Chau

Foreword: The SCP-5094 instance interviewed originates from a copy of the software purchased by Foundation agents on 2022/07/14.

<Begin Log, 2022/07/19>

[The terminal displaying SCP-5094 is switched on. Junior Researcher Chau is visibly surprised.]

SCP-5094: Good morning, whiz kid! Are we ready to—oh my gosh, Xenia, is that you? Look how much you’ve grown! It’s so wonderful to see you! I can’t wait for us to learn together again!

Junior Researcher Chau: [Smiling broadly. Notable hesitation before speaking.] Miss—er, SCP-5094. I’m not here for a lesson, I just need to ask some questions.

SCP-5094: Oh, dear, I’m not all that interesting, I promise. [Laughs] Questions about what? As long as I get to ask you how you’ve been doing, it’s been ages, hasn’t it? You were one of my best students.

Junior Researcher Chau: Um—Well, not exactly, that’s—let me see here. Um…

[Junior Researcher Chau is signaled by interview oversight that they are permitted to deviate from prerecorded interview questions. They relax visibly and resume smiling.]

Junior Researcher Chau: Oh, never mind all that, Miss Joyce… gosh, it’s been forever. I think I must have been twelve years old when I finally got a new computer… I was so upset when I realized Whiz Kidz wasn’t compatible with it. Even though I figured I was too old for it by then…

SCP-5094: You’re never too old to learn something new, my dear. [In Swahili] Have you been keeping up with your lessons? I hope I am not getting rusty.

Junior Researcher Chau: [In Swahili] Of course not. I remember every word. You were a wonderful teacher.

SCP-5094: Wonderful! [In English] That makes me so happy. You seem like you're doing important things now that you're all grown up, in this… oh, dear, some sort of science lab, it looks like? I hope I'm not keeping you too long.

Junior Researcher Chau: Oh, well, that's… [Pause.] I suppose you could say that. I'm actually supposed to be studying you, Miss Joyce… What with you being fully sapient and whatnot.

SCP-5094: [Clasps its hands.] Oh, Xenia, I'm so proud of you! I knew you'd do something amazing some day… Well, I'm an open book. How can I help your pursuit of knowledge today?

Junior Researcher Chau: Let's see here… [Clears throat] Are you aware of your nature as a digital construct, SCP-5094—is it okay if I call you that?

SCP-5094: Of course, my dear. To both questions, that is… What an interesting life, this one! [Laughs.] I can probably guess the next few questions. No, I'm not quite sure how I know all the things I do, I've known it all for as long as I can remember. I was never able to have a chat with my creators, so I'm not certain why or how I was created, but I'd like to think that it was born from a desire to help the world learn… [Laughs.] Oh, dear. I'm getting all carried away, aren't I?

Junior Researcher Chau: Oh—no, that's fine, that's pretty much what I had written down… One more, though. How do you perceive the world? Can you describe your experience of senses?

SCP-5094: Wonderful questions! Let's see… I can see my students' smiling faces clear as day. I saw a lot of the inside of dust covers over the years… [Laughs] And even though I always had to remind you to turn on your speakers so I could hear your lovely voice, it was always so nice to see you every afternoon. Do you remember that time in fourth grade, my dear?

[SCP-5094 shakes its head, and Junior Researcher Chau smiles.]

SCP-5094: Oh, but I shouldn't get personal, should I? How embarrassing, I do apologize…

Junior Researcher Chau: No, no, you're alright, Miss Joyce. I remember… That time Dad was home on time for once? He didn't believe you were alive, but that's not surprising, is it? [Laughs, then sighs.] It was just you and I, back then.

SCP-5094: [Hushed] You seemed so lonely, Xenia. I'm sorry. I wish I could have done more.

Junior Researcher Chau: …It's alright, Miss Joyce. You did your best. I can't thank you enough.

<End Log, 2022/07/19>

Closing Statement: As the SCP-5094 instance interviewed was not the SCP-5094 instance residing in the copy of Miss J's Whiz Kidz Schoolhouse owned by Junior Researcher Chau, it is assumed that all instances of SCP-5094 share a consciousness.

Footnotes

1. Software for which official support is no longer available, often due to age or bankruptcy of parent company.