ITEM #: SCP-5216

LEVEL-

CONTAINMENT CLASS: SAFE

DISRUPTION CLASS: DARK

Assigned Site

Site-39

Site Director

N/A

Research Head

Dr Ilse Tschida

Assigned MTF

N/A

ITEM: SCP-5216

LEVEL-

CONTAINMENT

CLASS: SAFE

DISRUPTION

CLASS: DARK

Assigned Site

Site-39

Site Director

N/A

Research Head

Dr Ilse Tschida

Assigned MTF

N/A

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5216 is stored in a standard storage locker. Access is restricted to personnel with Level 3 Clearance or above. Personnel conducting tests with SCP-5216 are to transcribe any relevant information to a non-anomalous medium. Tests involving the synthesis or consumption of SCP-5216-2 instances are restricted to personnel with Level 3 Clearance or above and require application forms to be submitted to Head Researcher Dr. Tschida for approval.

Description: SCP-5216 is a hardcover cookbook, titled "Even More Good Eats". The number of pages, and by extension the number of recipes it contains, varies depending on the proximity of the book to items that can conceivably be ingested by humans, regardless of whether they are safe for consumption. Every time SCP-5216 is observed for the first time, new recipes are noted to appear. At time of writing, no single recipe has been recorded more than once.

Most dishes prepared according to the recipes within SCP-5216 exhibit minor anomalous properties, warranting their designation as SCP-5216-1 instances, and can be safely consumed with little to no ill side-effects. Subjects following the recipes exhibit advanced culinary skills, and occasionally anomalous abilities, during preparation – regardless of whether the subject had ever received culinary instruction. Attempts to replicate SCP-5216-1 instances using transcribed recipes have failed.

Additionally, SCP-5216 and/or SCP-5216-1 instances are suspected to possess a certain degree of compulsive effects on nearby individuals to complete and consume the dishes.

Test Log 5216.T03:

For brevity, extraneous information pertaining to the full list of ingredients used in each test have been removed.

Ingredients: 400g of fresh spinach leaves

Dish Name: Vegan Creamed Spinach

Preparation Summary: Dish was prepared without the use of any items other than spinach. Preparation consisted solely of whisking spinach in a bowl for 12 minutes.

Notes: Dish was reported to have a "creamy texture" and "refreshing hints of coconut".

Ingredients: 1 stick of unsalted butter

Dish Name: I Can't Believe It's Not Butter

Preparation Summary: No recipe instructions were recorded for this dish. Test was concluded after 5 minutes.

Notes: SCP-5216-1 instance was later found to be composed entirely of margarine.

Ingredients: 1.5L of Fanta Grape, one-eighths of an oak cutting board

Dish Name: Chianti Classico riserva, Fanta™️ Edition

Preparation Summary: Dr. Wu removed approximately one-eighths of the cutting board's mass via brute force and compressed it into a cork, which was used to cork the plastic soda bottle.

Notes: SCP 5216-1 instance was described as "aged wine, but tastefully carbonated". Notably, Dr. Wu's skin took on a purple coloration which has not yet subsided at time of writing. Dr. Wu has not reported any further issues outside his abnormal skin tone.

Ingredients: 1 baguette, approx. 200g of pepper

Dish Name: PGM 338 á la Française

Preparation Summary: Dish was carved out of the baguette by Dr. Wu, and was discovered to be an operational firearm after it misfired several croutons into his leg.

Notes: Dish was described as spicy, and was capable of firing an apparently unlimited quantity of croutons. Dr. Wu's request for reassignment has been approved, effective once he recovers.

Ingredients: 1 apple, 1 eyeball

Dish Name: Johnny Appleseed

Preparation Summary: N/A. See Addendum 5216.01.

Notes: N/A

Incident Log 5216.I01:

SCP-5216 Head Researcher, Dr. Tschida, partially blinded herself during routine testing with the cookbook by using her left eye for the recipe instead of the cow eyeball she had prepared earlier. While she is presently in stable condition, she is unable to explain her actions during said test. Dr. Consuelo has been assigned as Acting Head Researcher for SCP-5216 in her absence.

Additionally, the SCP-5216-1 instance produced during the test was unable to be recovered. Security footage shows the dish disappearing once line-of-sight was obscured by a panicking Dr. Tschida.

Test Log 5216.T04:

Ingredients: 480kB of text

Dish Name: Stew?

Preparation Summary: Recipe was identified during the transcription of a different recipe to a terminal by Dr. Consuelo. A bowl of stew manifested over his head seconds later.

Notes: Multiple expunged messages were identified in Dr. Consuelo's phone, despite not having such functionalities, from his partner describing his craving for stew sent around the time of the incident. The dish reportedly consisted of chorizo sausage and root vegetables.

Ingredients: 400g red meat, 150g animal fat, 100ml cerebrospinal fluid, 200ml blood

Dish Name: Alagaddan Blood Sausage

Preparation Summary: Dr. Consuelo displayed limited thaumaturgical abilities while reshaping the components into a homogenous slurry.

Notes: Dish was described as an "delightfully exotic". Dr. Consuelo was unable to replicate any incantations used during preparation, nor display any notable thaumaturgical abilities.

Ingredients: 2 wheat buns, 2 slices of American cheese, approx. 100g lettuce, rats (to taste)

Dish Name: Rattenkönig Deluxe

Preparation Summary: Recipe was initially for a meatless bacon cheeseburger. During testing, Dr. Consuelo was alerted to scratching noises in the ceiling, resulting in the alteration of the tested recipe. Shortly after, 7 live rats were forcefully pulled out of the ceiling. Through unidentified mechanisms, their tails were knotted together and spun at high speeds before embedding itself in the burger.

Notes: Dr. Consuelo was initially unaware of the recipe change, and consumed the SCP-5216-1 instance under the impression that it was the aforementioned meatless bacon cheeseburger.

Ingredients: 5 kg assorted chocolate

Dish Name: Jemma's Easter Bunnies

Preparation Summary: Chocolate was melted at a low heat before climbing out of the pot and autonomously reforming into 5 white rabbits.

Notes: Rabbits were animate, behaving no differently from their mundane counterparts. One of the rabbits was partially consumed by Dr. Consuelo, who described their taste as "smooth and strangely gamey". Notably, the rabbit ceased activity upon consumption of its head, from which dark chocolate leaked out profusely. The remaining 4 instances are currently stored in the Site-39 freezer.

Ingredients: Approx. 24 assorted vitamin supplements, 50ml of hand sanitizer

Dish Name: 1-UP

Preparation Summary: The vitamin supplements dissolved instantly in the hand sanitizer once added, turning it bright red. Mixture was then poured out onto Dr. Consuelo's hand, where it crystallized into a small heart-shaped candy.

Notes: Dish was consumed by Dr. Consuelo, who reported a "sudden surge in energy", and proceeded to continue testing with SCP-5216 for the next 34 hours straight, after which he collapsed from fatigue.

Incident Log 5216.I02:

During the aforementioned tests, Dr. Consuelo permitted the supervising researchers to retire for the night in his capacity as Acting Head Researcher. Subsequent tests were effectively performed unsupervised, and as such no personnel were present during his collapse.

Shortly after this, security footage recorded an apple, believed to be the last SCP-5216-1 instance created by Dr. Tschida, manifesting near SCP-5216, eyeing its contents before turning to look directly at the camera. No viable footage was able to be recovered following this event. The testing chamber was found vacant the following morning, with Dr. Consuelo currently absent without leave.

SCP-5216 testing protocol has since been updated, with a focus on documenting recipes only as opposed to the preparation of dishes. Currently, SCP-5216 testing is conducted via an autonomous scanner drone attached to the book.

Test Log 5216.T05:

Ingredients: 50 grapes, 1 carp fillet (deboned)

Dish Name: Grapery Carpin

Ingredients: 30L [REDACTED]1, 3 bananas, 200g gelatin powder

Dish Name: Jim

Ingredients: 66 lemons, 1L milk, 1L honey, 1.5L crude oil

Dish Name: Lemon-de-Mons

Ingredients: 1kg peanuts, 700g flour, 300g dark chocolate, food coloring (red and green)

Dish Name: The Nut Brother

Ingredients: 1.6kg squid tentacles, 200ml blood

Dish Name: ersatz mother

Incident Log 5216.I03:

Following the expiration of Dr. Tschida during an unrelated containment breach while recovering, her body, along with SCP-5216, was displaced from its storage to the Site-39 pantry. Security cameras managed to record footage of multiple fruits carrying Dr. Tschida through the damaged facility before malfunctioning. Attached below is an excerpt from the security footage of the Site-39 pantry.

«BEGIN LOG»

[Camera is slightly shaken by a distant explosion. Upon refocusing, an apple2 is visible on the pantry's kitchen island. Seconds later, several fruits and vegetables manifest on the floor around the kitchen island. Dr. Tschida's body is carried into the frame by an assortment of potatoes.]

[Apple is observed to possess a single eye. All fruits and vegetables present possess rudimentary limbs composed of multiple objects, including toothpicks, pens, paperclips, and in one case, cockroach legs. The apple animatedly gestures towards the body of Dr. Tschida, eliciting thunderous applause from the other fruits present, which is recorded as wet slapping noises. No other audio is recorded. More limbed foodstuff begin to congregate in the pantry.]

[4 MINUTES OF EXTRANEOUS GESTURING REMOVED]

[A whole uncooked chicken is seen dragging a different body, identified as a Jnr. Res. Wagner, into the pantry using a purple-hued human hand protruding from its cavity. Its arrival is heavily applauded. The apple is seen brandishing a kitchen knife in front of the crowd before jumping onto Jnr. Res. Wagner's chest.]

[The apple raises the knife above itself, before turning towards the security camera. It gestures slightly to the side of the camera while staring directly at it.]

«VIDEO OFFLINE»

Despite this, the scanner attached to SCP-5216 remained operational, and recorded multiple recipes generated by SCP-5216, as shown below.

Ingredients: 1 tomato, 3 hearts, 1.3L blood

Dish Name: mother

Ingredients: 944 grapes, 7 lungs, 1.65L blood

Dish Name: mother

Ingredients: 5 brains (4 with lobes separated, 1 unseparated), 1.2L blood

Dish Name: mother

Ingredients: mother, mother, mother, mother, mother […]3

Dish Name: MOTHER

During the recapturing of Site-39, MTF forces managed to secure an undocumented vaguely humanoid entity composed entirely of fresh produce, designated SCP-5216-A, pending further investigation. SCP-5216, the entities seen in the security footage, as well as the bodies of several deceased personnel, including Dr. Tschida's, were unable to be located. Notably, Site-39's food stores were completely empty upon recapture. Efforts to recover SCP-5216 are ongoing.

Footnotes

1. Classified chemical compound under development by the Department of Biochemistry.

2. Presently believed to be an SCP-5216-1 instance labelled as "Johnny Appleseed".

3. "mother" repeats for another 216 times.