The definitions for all of the object classes come from A Comprehensive List of Esoteric Classes written by Nagiros per the author's permit. The warning header is an edited version of the one present in SCP-5391 written by J Dune. The comment code comes from SCP-3309 written by LtFlops and FamtomGuy.

EMERGENCY NOTICE FROM THE O5 COUNCIL

In light of recent discovery the following file's clearance requirement has been lowered from Level-5/0110-J to Level-1/0110-J. It is our belief that the information contained in this file and its ability to be edited by all personnel might, in fact, help all of us. For the safety of our organization and the survival of humanity; all Foundation personnel are required to read this document.

Secure, Contain, Protect.

0110-J

Item#: 0110-J

Containment Class: esoteric

Secondary Class: thaumiel

Disruption Class: dark

Risk Class: notice

Special Containment Procedures: In order to postpone SCP-0110-PRIME-J for as long as possible, the following file is to be available to edit by all personnel, regardless of clearance.1 As long as such a permit is maintained and edits are made regularly, SCP-0110-PRIME-J poses almost no threat to humanity.

Description: SCP-0110-J is an anomalous relationship between the number of Object Classes within the SCP Foundation's database and the number of months until an inevitable ÓK-Class "Universal Collapse" Scenario.2 The event has been noted to inevitably occur on 09/09/2030 within all observable multiverses.

However, it was discovered through extrauniversal sources that when a new logical and usable Object Class is introduced into the database, the event is postponed by exactly one month. The mechanism upon which the anomaly functions is unknown.

Addendum 0110-1-J: The following is a table of all proposed Object Classes in relation to stopping SCP-0110-PRIME-J.

Attempt Number
Name of the Class
Definition
Personnel Suggesting
Database Accaptence

#1
Anomalous
Item is so simplistic that it is not assigned an official database file
D. Asheworth
Accepted

#2
Item is able to be contained but ought not to be
J. Rivera
Accepted

#3
Ticonderoga
Item cannot be contained but does not need to be contained
J. Micheals
Accepted

#4
Keeter
Item is deemed more difficult to contain that a standard Keter object
E. MacCarthy Jr.3
Denied4

[40 lines omitted ]

#45
Yesod
Item has been integrated into the Foundation's command structure
D. Asheworth
Accepted

#46
Chhokmah
[REDACTER PER ORDER OF O5-1]
D. Asheworth
Accepted

Please submit your proposals here:

NOTICE FROM THE FOUNDATION RECORDS AND INFORMATION SECURITY ADMINISTRATION

What the fuck is wrong with you

I'm away for a month-long vacation — I should also mention it's the first in literally decades — and I come up back to forty-five new Object Classes. Are any of you even aware of how much paperwork that creates? Hell, even one new Object Class creates weeks of new documents to fill, but forty-five? Most of them aren't even usable! I don’t care there’s a -K goddamnit, you guys can literally remake the universe, so find a way around that shit. You are literally just clogging the database for the purpose of sounding ~cool~ or your documentation getting more attention due to a word at the top of it. Yesod is practically a Thaumiel, except with less uses! And what the hell even is a Chhokmah?

— Maria Jones, Director, RAISA

Re: What the fuck is wrong with you

Chhokmah balls

Re: Re: What the fuck is wrong with you

That’s not funny. What the hell is Maksur then?

Re: Re: Re: What the fuck is wrong with you

Maksur to Chhokmah balls lmao

You are all fired.

Footnotes

1. As long as they adhere to the purpose of such an allowance.

2. Hereby referred to as SCP-0110-PRIME-J.

3. Comment: Technically, we can also make typos in already existing classes and call them "upgraded" versions of the old ones.

4. Comment: We understand what you're trying to do here, Ethan, and we appreciate the good will, but unfortunately it doesn't work.

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