SCP-2236

Item #: SCP-2236

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2236 is to be stored in its pouch (pictured) when not in use. The pouch containing SCP-2236 is to be stored in an airtight humidity-controlled and temperature-controlled case. To prevent security breaches, use of SCP-2236 must be approved by the administrator of Site 32.

Addendum: Under no circumstances is SCP-2236 to be brought into the presence of any internal Foundation memoranda or documents, including its own containment records.

Description: SCP-2236 is a cylindrical optical instrument which superficially resembles an early-model pocket microscope. The instrument is 11.6 cm in length, 1.9 cm in diameter, and has a planoconvex lens at each end with very slight convexity. One end is equipped with an eyepiece; the other end is flanged at an angle. The lenses and the body of the instrument enclose an airtight chamber between the lenses. This chamber is filled with a faintly phosphorescent gas which has not been analyzed.

When a written document is observed through SCP-2236, the content of the text that is examined appears different to the observer. See testing log.

Testing Log:

Please record all test results using the format below:

Researcher | Date of test:

Text:

Result:

Researcher | Date of Test: Dr. Patel | 08-██-██

Text: Standard sheet of A4 writing paper with the text "THIS IS A TEST" printed in black 72-point type.

Result: Text appeared as "LET'S START WITH SOMETHING SIMPLE." In this test and all subsequent tests, text appeared to have a lettering size and typeface or handwriting consistent with the sample under investigation.

Text: Standard sheet of A4 writing paper with the text "Hello world." printed in black 72-point type.

Result: Text appeared as "I wonder if they restocked the good cookies in the vending machine."

Text: Standard sheet of A4 writing paper with the text "This is a test" handwritten by Dr. Garcia. Dr. Garcia was not aware of SCP-2236 and was not involved in testing it apart from providing this sample to Dr. Patel without being informed of the purpose of the request.

Result: Text appeared as "Piss off" in Dr. Garcia's handwriting.

Text: Page 83 of "The Spectacular Spignetti", a popular romance novel about circus acrobats that was found in the Site 32 break room.

Result: Excerpt of text: "…all crap, but I need the money for Mitch's medicine. And the pay sucks. I have a master's degree from Williams and my advance comes out to, fuck, eight cents per page? At least nobody will know…"

Text: Page of instruction manual for coffee maker found in break room.

Result: Excerpt of text: "… it was a mistake for me to leave the farm and come to Hangzhou …"

Text: Sheet music for "Imagine", by John Lennon.

Result: Score for "Baa Baa Black Sheep", lyrics changed to mis-spelled expletives.

Text: Page of machine-generated random numbers

Result: No change

Text: Page 22 of the first edition of "For Whom the Bell Tolls"

Result: A graphic description of an amorous encounter with a chambermaid in the Hotel Ambos-Mundos in Havana, Cuba.

Text: Printout of the text of a Wikipedia article on "History of chemistry"

Result: Barely-coherent text, apparently expressing several contradictory arguments concerning the themes discussed in the document interspersed with unflattering personal impressions of many of its draftsmen.

Text: Clay tablet, dated to c. 19th century BCE, inscribed with text in Akkadian cuneiform. Text is a receipt for a cartload of wool.

Result: Text in Akkadian cuneiform, expressing delight over the high price paid for the wool, and mentioning the narrator's need to evacuate his bowels.

Text: Page from Voynich manuscript

Result: Untranslated text with different glyphs in the same writing system.

Text: Abstract of scientific journal article on microbiology

Result: Text describing the early stages of planning a wedding, interspersed with surprise and pleasure that "Rick" had proposed to the narrator.

Text: Screenplay of █████ ████████, a major studio motion picture widely considered to be a commercial and critical failure

Result: A projected studio income statement in which the ticket and merchandising revenue streams from the film are drastically overestimated

Text: Photograph of the unsolved Zodiac Killer cypher

Result: Address of a residence in Vallejo, California.

Text: Text of Quranic sura "Yusuf" in classical Arabic

Result: Unchanged, except for immaterial spelling and punctuation variations.

Text: Ball-point pen scribblings by Dr. Patel's four-year-old daughter

Result: Architectural specifications for a three-story castle-like building to be constructed out of cupcakes and various confectionery items. Engineering analysis has determined that the structure is unstable and unsuited for its specified purpose of housing a "unicorn princess".

Text: Several pages of output produced by SCP-887.

Result: Pages are blank

Text: "Time Cube" essay by Gene Ray

Result: Well-reasoned critique of generally-accepted theories of temporal physics.

Text: Press release in Korean by North Korea's Rodong Sinmun entitled "Kim Jong-un Provides Field Guidance to Chonji Lubricant Factory"

Result: Korean text structured as a dialogue between two interlocutors, debating the proper temperature at which kimchi is to be served. The narrative bears evidence that both debaters' text was aggressively edited by a third person for unknown purposes.

Researcher|Date: Dr. Lock|20-██-██

Text: Mastering the art of French Cooking by Julia Child (page 78)

Result: Excerpt of text "…and maybe it could use little salt here and there but it can be served like it is right now."

Researcher|Date: Dr. Califano|21-██-██

Text: Card from SCP-2203, Test A-67

Result: Card appears covered in various technical specifications, including levels of various hormones over time, physiognometric analysis of various body and facial features, chronological history of life events, and interspersed commentary: "Why did you hurt her?" "No one is better off with you since you keep acting like that." "Grammie still knows best."