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

RealSurrealSir's Author Page

Hello, welcome to my second article, also check out other stuff ^^^

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Item#: SCP-5496

Containment Class: euclid

Secondary Class: truculent

Disruption Class: keneq

Risk Class: caution

Special Containment Procedures: Until such time that more effective and permanent containment methods are formulated and implemented, video monitoring should be maintained around the current location of SCP-5496 within Site-431 at all times. Any staff found utilizing SCP-5496 in any way, unless explicitly authorized otherwise, are subject to immediate debriefing and possible disciplinary action. Should any anomalous activity characteristic of likely SCP-5496 usage be observed by staff, it should be immediately reported to their superiors, Site-43 administration, and/or members of the SCP-5496 research team.2

No feasible methods of long-term physical containment are currently known, due to factors such as SCP-5496’s penchant for spontaneous translocation to other locations around the site if it becomes sufficiently obstructed from access by members of site staff; its super-durability against all forms of material damage tested so far; and the inability to maintain visual warnings or messages advising against use within the vicinity of SCP-5496 itself. As such, current containment tactics primarily center on recurring instruction to all on-site staff of the properties and dangers posed by SCP-5496.3 Individual personnel of sufficient clearance may submit containment and testing proposals for review.

While this file has been given a default clearance level of Three (lvl 3/5496) for all other sites and posts, all Site-43 employees have been given special provisional level 1/5496 clearance to view the bulk of this file. All such employees are to read this file at least once in its entirety, and to be proactively apprised of any significant updates as necessary. Additionally, monthly weekly reminders are to be given to all Site-43 staff that any complaints, issues, or suggestions relating to perceived issues with some aspect of their workplace environment are to be directed through the appropriate channels via Hiring and Regulation; and that there is not now, nor has there ever been, any sort of officially sanctioned Site “Suggestion Box.”

Description: SCP-5496 is a small box found affixed to various walls from all around the interior of Site-43 since its sudden appearance on February 12, 2022, with the words “Suggestion Box” prominently displayed across the front, and a smaller inscription written on its right side:

Hello, Foundation staff! Here at Site-43, we strive to push boundaries and incorporate novel and non-traditional strategies in our perpetual mission of Securing, Containing, and Protecting anomalies from the world and the world from anomalies. However, there's always room for improvements, so we'd like to hear your ideas, fellow Foundationers! Just fill out a slip, drop it in, and your concerns shall be addressed as quickly as possible!

- Chief Administrator Karen T. Hellstorm4

SCP-5496.

Whenever these instructions are followed, a unique anomalous event will occur based on the contents of the submitted “suggestion.” The exact nature and effects of such incidents vary, but almost always involve "granting" the submitted requests; primarily in senses that honor the letter of the request in an overly literal, exact, or unusual manner, and while paying little to no consideration to the intended meaning itself. These requests vary in their ultimate utility to the triggering user, providing them with some overall benefit at least as often as any detriment. At the same time, particular effects almost invariably detract from broader Site-43 operational efficiency, capacity, and/or security.5

SCP-5496 itself is made of an unknown, extremely durable material visually reminiscent of rusted metal. Small pencils and slips of paper are also present next to a horizontal opening at the top.6

Discovery: SCP-5496 was unwittingly “discovered" and utilized by a number of staff over a three-day period. Specifically, it was used by staff who did not initially recognize its anomalous properties or a potential connection to the recent major increase in the number of on-site accidents, technical failures, and maintenance issues. Most staff outside of either the Quantum Supermechanics or physically adjacent Research and Experimentation sections, including those in Hiring and Regulation and administrative positions, remained initially unaware of the appearances of SCP-5496.

It wasn't until the morning of February 14, 2022, that any staff members directly noted the apparent anomalous results which followed submissions to SCP-5496. Dr. Xinyi Du, Chair of Quantum Supermechanics, reported the appearance of SCP-5496-1 and his team's suspicions of its anomalous nature. A video log is available below;

■ View Video Log ■

□ Close Log □

Foreword: The following log was taken from Section 5a break room security camera footage.

<Begin Log>

Jr. Researchers Mindy Wright and Thad Cameron are seated at a table discussing a popular television show as Dr. Xinyi Du enters the room.

Du: Hey guys.

Wright and Cameron both wave and continue their discussion as Du makes his way to the refrigerator. After removing a bottle of water, Du notices the instance of SCP-5496 affixed to the far wall.

Du: What the hell is that?

Wright: (Looking up) Oh, the suggestion box? Yeah, I mean the note kind of explains it. I don’t know when they put it up though.

Cameron: I think it was the day before yesterday.

Du: This seems kind of odd to me. Doesn’t really seem like the Foundation’s style…

Cameron: What do you mean?

Du: C’mon, in what universe would the Foundation base its internal conflict management on soliciting complaints and suggestions via a little box in the break room… Was there an email, or, uh, some kind of notice about this?

Wright: Not that I know of, but maybe it wasn’t a big enough deal to bother.

Du: Are you kidding? They send out notices about everything, no matter how small. Besides, there’s already a sophisticated system in place for submitting things like grievances and proposing workplace changes on the Intranet. Honestly, I’m not sure this should even be here…

Around this time, Junior researcher Joel Davenport enters the breakroom, and presumably overhearing the conversation in progress, elects to provide his own opinion as he pulls a slip and a pencil from SCP-5496.

Davenport: Oh Dr. Du, you’re always so cynical. I, for one, think the box is a neat little way to solicit feedback from us little worker ants.

Wright: What are you writing now?

Davenport: Oh, just to turn up the heat in the QS labs a bit. It’s always too chilly in there.

Davenport turns to deposit his slip into SCP-5496-1.

Du: Look, I’m just saying, I’m not sure we should just ta—

Du is interrupted by the sound of an explosion originating down the hall, as well as the blare of the fire alarms immediately after.

Davenport turns to look at his colleagues and then back at SCP-5496.

Davenport: Y’all, uh… y'all don't think that was related, right?

<END LOG>

□ Close Log □

Addendum 5496.01: Activation Incidents

Initial incidents later linked to SCP-5496 usage were determined via cross-reference with security footage of the room where SCP-5496 initially appeared, and questioning of staff seen using SCP-5496 as to exact requests when necessary.

■ Results of Pre-Containment Usage ■

□ Close Log □

INCIDENT 12.02.22.JK: Senior Researcher Jason Kaplowitz; February 12, 2022

Request: “A new coffee maker for this break room, the current one barely functions.”

Result: A small, potted Coffea arabica sapling appeared in place of the normal coffee machine

Additional Notes: The whereabouts of the original machine have not been discovered.

INCIDENT 13.02.22.HB: Archives and Revision Chair Harold Blank; February 13, 2022

Request: “Revamp the ventilation system or something around the Archives Section, the smell from the acroamatic abatement processing can be overpowering at times.”

Result: Twenty-seven high-powered industrial fans appeared scattered around the Archives and Revision Section wing overnight, often located immediately next to (and directed towards) document and file shelves, causing a large number of physical documents to scatter and mix together across large areas of floor and desk space.

Additional Notes: Cleanup and reorganization of physical files took nineteen hours over a three-day period, though most physical documents were recovered without extensive or irreversible damage.7~8

INCIDENT 13.02.22.MW: Junior researcher Mindy Wright; February 13, 2022

Request: Finally fix that middle elevator in the QS Section entrance. It's slow as shit and sometimes doesn’t even stop at the right floor.

Result: The elevator referenced in the request greatly increased in acceleration rate, with passengers experiencing up G-forces of up to around 6.5 G’s.

Additional Notes: Seven staff suffered moderate-to-severe injuries before the affected elevator was deactivated entirely. The effect was not removed after attempted repair and experimental reactivation, and remains offline indefinitely.

INCIDENT 14.02.22.CF: Janitor Cora Fritz (JM.37); February 14, 2022

Request: Start providing advance warning to the rest of us when Deering is scheduled to work in the same area. That “Doug” of his never stops being any less frightening, and it can be hard to focus when he’s there, but maybe at least some time to mentally prepare would help a little.

Result: All active Janitorial and Maintenance employees other than SCP-5056-B received emails from the internally-unassigned address ten.pcs|6945_xoBnoitsegguS#ten.pcs|6945_xoBnoitsegguS, with each email containing digital copies of all Site-43 staff schedules for the week, even files of preliminary or high-clearance-only schedules. I&T quickly scrubbed the email from employee inboxes, and did so again the next day when a new batch was generated.9 A specialized filtering program was quickly designed to search for and automatically delete future emails in the future.

Additional Notes: J&M employees who reported reading any of the documents were provided amnestics. Daily emails outlining internal scheduling information for all Site-43 staff members continue to generate, but the Filter program remains successful in removing them immediately after generation.

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Additionally, even since the implementation of site-wide warnings and explicit instruction against the usage and activation of SCP-5496, several instances of staff doing so anyway have occurred since. Approved examples are outlined below.

■ Results of Unauthorized Usage ■

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INCIDENT 28.02.22.PG 28/02/2022, Field Agent Arthur Jameson, February 28.

Request: Return of Casual Friday for all field agents with no current or imminent deployments.

Result: All agents meeting the referenced criteria began to dress, work and behave with uncharacteristic and drastic unprofessionalism every Friday. Though agents profess remembering their experiences and mindset afterward, they also report variations of unshakeable nihilism, and almost universally indicate that nothing that’s said to them in that state would likely shake them.

Additional Notes: The recurring effect proved immune to amnestics, hypnotherapy, targeted memetic agents, etc. until Dir. McInnis officially reinstated Casual Fridays in its original form. The effect did not return even when tentatively removed once again on February 19, 2022.

INCIDENT 02.03.21.WW: Dr. William Wettle; March 2, 2022

Request: More restocking of pens, markers, etc. They seem to get lost faster than they get resupplied.

Result: A supply closet in Section 14c was spontaneously filled to the room's boundaries im every side with various kinds of writing utensils, discovered by Dr. Wettle himself later the same afternoon. Dr. Wettle sustained mild injuries from the cascade of such instruments after opening the closet door.

Additional Notes: While initially assumed that the writing instruments had been anomalously generated, web-crawlers soon alerted the Foundation to reports of “sudden disappearances” of such objects in nearby localities, often including multiple instruments and/or witnesses in the locations, with accidental footage confiscated from one local high-schooler’s phone confirming that the sudden de-manifestation of three students' pencils occurred simultaneously to Dr. Wettle depositing his suggestion slip into SCP-5496.

INCIDENT 09.03.22.PG: Junior Researcher Phil Grady; March 9,, 2022

Request: Make Jr. researcher P. Grady a Senior researcher, with an exciting new project assignment.

Result: Researcher Grady appeared to rapidly increase in apparent physical age, taking on the appearance and several health issues characteristic of a human male in or around their eighties. Review of internal records found Grady’s title of Jr. Researcher had not been changed, but his current project had been, to SCP-████.

Additional Notes: This reassignment was canceled, and researcher Grady has been removed from all active assignments pending the eventual conclusion of ongoing disciplinary proceedings.

INCIDENT 12.03.22.WW Dr. William Wettle; March 12, 2022

Request: Instatement of a “Top Replication Specialist of the year”10 award and bonus.

Result: No known immediate effects, but the potential for anomalous effects to any future end-of-the-year staff awards, bonuses, and/or related operations cannot be ruled out.11

Additional Notes: Though claims of forgetfulness regarding SCP-5496 multiple times were initially deemed dubious, Dr. Wettle’s explanation was verified to as high a degree of confidence as currently attainable through the utilization of the [REDACTED] Verification Protocols. Additionally, Dr. Wettle has the lowest Cognitive Resiliency Index (CRI) score of all senior research staff; potential correlation to CRI scores and an employee's vulnerability to hypothetical antimemetic secondary properties is under investigation.12 ~13

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Note: Only one Foundation employee (Jr. Researcher Phil Grady) has admitted to deliberately ignoring warnings. Other users have almost universally claimed to have forgotten the instructions against use. Investigation into such claims is ongoing, especially as a potential indication of previously-undiscovered antimemetic and/or infohazardous secondary properties related to SCP-5496.

Addendum 5496.02: Previous Containment Strategies

The following is a running log summarizing prior SCP-5496 containment strategies and the results of their attempted implementations. This log may be updated as necessary should current tactics be found insufficient, and modified accordingly at any point in the future.

■ View Log ■

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Method: Physically dismantling instances for removal.

Results: SCP-5496 and the material it is made out of show extremely high durability, showing effective imperviousness to cutting, scraping, blunt force, high pressures, fire, and acid.

Additional Notes: None.

Method: Remove surrounding wall, with SCP-5496 still affixed to the removed portion.

Results: SCP-5496 translocated.

Additional Notes: None.

Method: Cover any instance with sealed metal cases at their present location to prevent any direct access.

Results: SCP-5496 translocated.

Additional Notes: None.

Method: Put up highly visible warning signs around instances to alert staff and warn them not to utilize the object.

Results: All warning signs and posters in immediate vicinity translocated. SCP-5496 remained in its prior location.

Additional Notes: Each individual piece of warning material appears to have translocated to different locations, all of which appear to function either directly or indirectly towards general waste disposal. Examples of places where warning materials or their remains were subsequently found include three separate nearby garbage bins, two paper shredders, filters from one Acroamatic Abatement processor, and the containment cell of SCP-████

Method: Make a “suggestion” that SCP-5496 be permanently removed from Site-43.

Results: All direct mentions of SCP-5496 by its previous designation, SCP-[DATA CORRUPTED] removed from internal and digital documentation when accessed on-site. This does not extend to its newer (and current) designation of SCP-5496.

Additional Notes: Effect does not extend outside grounds of Site-43, and the previous designation has since been successfully reassigned. That article has been programmed to display an alternate item number and an accompanying note of explanation when accessed from within Site-43.

Method: Make a “suggestion” that any and all anomalous suggestion boxes be permanently removed from Site-43.

Results: A slip of paper is launched back out of the opening two seconds later, simply reading “Nah.”

Additional Notes: This is the only known instance of SCP-5496 refusing to follow a suggestion submitted to it by at least some possible interpretation of their content. It is unknown what else may trigger similar non-compliance, but the possibility of further testing so as to determine SCP-5496’s limits has been deemed strongly inadvisable.

Method: Give recurring warnings and reminders to all Site-43 staff, regardless of station and clearance level, not to engage with SCP-5496 without direct written authorization from either SCP-5496 head researcher Donovan Carey or Site Director Allan McInnis.

Results: Significant minimization of incidents related to SCP-5496, though not cessation.

Additional Notes: Current primary containment protocol.

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Addendum 5496.03: D-Class Incident

Background: On March 11, 2022, a member of maintenance staff moved a large potted plant from beside SCP-5496’s contemporaneous location to directly in front of SCP-5496, in order to vacuum the area underneath. This apparently exceeded SCP-5496’s obstruction threshold, as the instance translocated immediately after. After moving the plant back and noticing the absence of SCP-5496, the employee alerted his superiors, and search for its new location began.

For two days, despite intensive search, the object could not be located, until Dr. Eileen Vaskaar of the Identity and Cryptotechnography Department reported that SCP-5496’s new location had been determined (further information on its rediscovery is restricted to Level 5 clearance due to its inherent information security concerns).

■ LEVEL 5496/5 ACCESS ONLY ■

□ ACCESS GRANTED □

SCP-5496 was discovered to have translocated to Acroamatic Abatement Facility AAF-W, the location where SCP-5520 is currently stationed and effectively contained while continuing to conduct largely self-directed research related to various anomalous phenomena.

Subsequent correspondence with SCP-5520 indicates that SCP-5520 was and remains unaware of the exact anomalous nature of SCP-5496. Relevant Correspondence with I&T Junior Researcher Paris Gibson is included below:

[13/03/2022]

Hello, I would like to inquire about my request from yesterday, specifically as to whether I actually made it, and if so, whether anyone received it.

Res. Gibson: I’m sorry, no, I don’t see any record of a “request.” If you can just ask again now, however, I can make sure it’s looked into.

Well I guess it was more of a suggestion really. I believe I wrote that a more readily available supply of biological material for testing would be helpful for a couple of current projects I’m working on.

Res. Gibson: Wait, when you say "suggestion"…

Res. Gibson: Did you submit this via a sort of ‘suggestion box’ by any chance, if one appeared down there?

Yes in fact, I somehow just noticed there was one in my cavern.

IS one, I suppose I should say, as it’s still there.

Then again, maybe it’s only here because I imagined that it was here, and so now it is here… It’s so hard for me to tell these days.

Res. Gibson: …Hold on one moment.

Res. Gibson: Ok, if you could just do one simple thing for me, I’ll make sure to get you more research materials.

Oh Goodie, more research materials, I needed some more biological materials for my experiments, actually! What was it that you needed from me?

Res. Gibson: I just need you to cover up or block off that box in some way.

Though no direct reply came, SCP-5520 presumably complied as contemporaneous security footage showed SCP-5496 re-appearing at Area 4b in the first sublevel of Site-43 proper, shortly after Res. Gibson sent off the last message. The exact nature of how SCP-5520’s submission would be fulfilled remained unclear until the following day.

□ ACCESS GRANTED □

Shortly after its rediscovery and the intentional triggering of SCP-5496's translocation property, it was quickly identified to have moved to Security and Containment Area 4b in the first sublevel of Site-43, where it currently remains.

At 4:34 PM on March 14, 2022, an unrequested allotment of eight D-Class Personnel arrived at Site-43.14 Despite this, available records confirmed the request for and approval of this D-Class allotment, and its redirection from the original destination of Provisional Site-███

The anomalously redirected D-Class were moved to a more securable area within the topmost sublevel, while a quickly organized internal investigation traced the modification of the D-Class request and destitnation records to shortly after SCP-5496's March 11 relocation event.

Four site security officers led the D-class to their ad-hoc, temporary housing area that was arranged to hold them until their situation was straightened out internally, and the D-class once again transported to a new site. Unfortunately, neither security staff nor those particular members in Hiring and Regulation that had been placed in charge of arranging accommodations had yet been alerted to SCP-5496’s current location, and allowed the new D-Class to enter into the same hall in which the object now resided.

During this time, one of the D-Class was later observed via security footage to have made two submissions to SCP-5496, which are outlined below along with their respective effects.

■ D-Class Submissions ■

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User: D-40110

Request: Tell us what the [ILLEGIBLE]lly goin on i[ILLEGIBLE]hole!

Result: After depositing the suggestion slip, D-40110 appeared to take on an unfocused stare, eventually nodding as if listening to someone or something. After 33 seconds, D-40110 frantically turned around and wrote out another suggestion slip.

Additional Notes: Footage of D-40110’s writing was partially obstructed by another D-class between the security camera and its view of the edge of the paper slip as it was being written.

User: D-40110

Request: [ILLEGIBLE]15

Result: D-40110 disappears, as do six of the other seven fellow D-Class Personnel on-site at the time.16

Additional Notes: Other anomalous results considered possible depending on the unknown contents of D-40110’s second submission were prepared for, including the sudden appearance of [REDACTED], but no other potential anomalous results from this event have been identified at this time.

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As the accompanying internal security agents were all conversing amongst one another across the room at this time (with none actually facing the D-class they were ostensibly guarding), they failed to directly witness the event. The only in-person witness was Dr. William Wettle, who had somehow gotten lost again on the way back to his office after lunch.17 Dr. Wettle reported wondering into the hall and seeing "ten D-class just disappear out of thin air".18 causing him to jump back and trip over a stray chair in shock, leading to a twisted ankle and fractured hip.

Debriefing took place from his medical bed, but was ultimately deemed of minimal value upon confirmation of much more reliable video footage capturing the event. Dr. Wettle has since made a full though slow-going recovery from his injuries, with only modest-to-moderate complications.

D-04576 was successfully relocated from Site-43 on March 15, 2022, where he remained prior to his expiration on March 18, 2022 as a natural result of his assigned research duties his new Site. The rest of the D-Class contingent's current whereabouts remain unknown at this time. Foundation efforts since the incident at identifying and recapturing these individuals, who are now considered to have effectively escaped Foundation custody, have failed up to this point. Attempts at discovering any evidence of any additional anomalous effects related to their disappearance, or the exact wording and/or nature of the triggering SCP-5496 submission, are ongoing.

Footnotes

1. Currently the 3rd-floor east wing hallway, as of 13/03/22

2. Witnesses should prioritize who to report based primarily on whoever can be most promptly alerted among any of these groups.

3. However, any potentially workable methods to better contain SCP-5496 remain the subject of ongoing research and testing; as reflected by the Truculent Sub-Class designation, which signifies that the anomaly is fundamentally unpredictable, with containment continuously adapted to an ever-changing set of circumstances.

4. Believed to be a misrendering of Administration and Oversight Chief Karen T. Elstrom. Chief Elstrom confirmed that she had no prior knowledge of SCP-5496 or its sudden presence on-site.

5. See Addendum 5496.01 for examples and further detail.

6. Though displaying no anomalous properties in themselves, SCP-5496 will anomalously generate new pencils and slips of paper to replace those taken.

7. If you were in a car accident and just "MOST" of your bones didn't suffer "extensive or irreversible damage", would you consider yourself basically fine??? - Chair Harold Blank

8. No, but I don't have multiple redundant scanned, digital copies of each bone that I usually use instead of the originals anyway. Stop whining. - Dir. A. McInnis

9. A stylized yet detailed animation of "Doug" peeking out of an abstract trapdoor was noted to accompany such emails at seemingly random intervals.

10. Though no such formal title exists, Dr. Wettle is the only member of senior research staff at Site-43 whose duties specifically and almost solely focus on replication studies and similar confirmational research.

11. In an attempt to circumvent this possibility, the official creation of the described-award and an accompanying financial incentive of $1.00 CAD has been approved by Dir. McInnis, following the apparent success of a similar response to SCP-5496 Incident 14.03.22.D1 (See Addendum 5496.03 for more detail).

12. Is it really necessary to include the second sentence? You know, Basic Personal Privacy Rights or something? -Res. W. Wettle

13. Consider it your disciplinary action. - Dir. A. McInnis

14. Site-43 does not utilize D-class Personnel in its research or operations, nor does even it have the infrastructure or logistical capacity to do so.

15. D-40110’s back was to the camera and blocked any view of the written contents he produced.

16. Of note is the fact that the one exception, D-04576, had been observed acting in a hostile manner to D-40110 on multiple occasions, according to the operative who delivered them and the others to Site-43. D-04576 was observes to loudly exclaim a string of profanities upon noticing the disappearance of the other D-Class personnel, mostly directed at the now absent D-40110.

17. This has been a somewhat regularly recurring pattern over Dr. Wettle's almost-three decades stationed at Site-43. Of note, both his office and the dining commons are located on a completely different level of the site than the one he stumbled into in the midst of this anomalous event.

18. Dr. Wettle has a well-documented habit of poor counting skills.