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SCP-5809

Item #: SCP-5809

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5809 is contained in a 13 liter fish tank within a standard containment locker. SCP-5809 is not to be within sight of SCP-5809-1.

Description: SCP-5809 is a ryukin goldfish capable of psychokinetic manipulation, as well as writing broken English. It has exclusively utilized this ability to play the multiplayer game League of Legends.1 SCP-5809 accessed League of Legends through a Dell laptop, hereby referred to as SCP-5809-1.

In League of Legends, SCP-5809 exclusively played the champion Fizz.2 During each match, SCP-5809 typed excessively in the game's chat, usually to degrade other players and boast about itself. It played under the username "GGEZGETCARRIED," and played in Gold elo in the solo queue competitive ladder.

Addendum 1 - Discovery: SCP-5809 was discovered when Alex Marcin encountered an unfamiliar account that was logged into his League of Legends client. Upon discovery of SCP-5809 and SCP-5809-1, field agent Gary Morrison asked SCP-5809's account a question using Alex's account. The log can be found below.

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RangedTop666: Who are you?

GGEZGETCARRIED: Lmao I'm the goldfish bro

GGEZGETCARRIED: How tf are you still in Silver btw?

GGEZGETCARRIED: Legit trash stop playing 2head XD

GGEZGETCARRIED: How does it feel to be in a lower elo than a goldfish lmao

GGEZGETCARRIED: Hello

GGEZGETCARRIED: R u there XD

GGEZGETCARRIED: Huh

GGEZGETCARRIED: Cool

GGEZGETCARRIED: Stay mad ig LOL

Alex Marcin was properly amnesticized after containment.

Addendum 2 - Game Chat Logs: The following log is an excerpt from the game chat in a match SCP-5809 was present in.

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HealerCarriesUXD (Soraka): hey Fizz can u come bot?

HealerCarriesUXD (Soraka): Jinx has bounty

HealerCarriesUXD (Soraka) has targeted David6617 - (Jinx)

GGEZGETCARRIED (Fizz): lol no too fed

HealerCarriesUXD (Soraka): u fking dog

HealerCarriesUXD (Soraka): come u brainlet

GGEZGETCARRIED (Fizz): I have bounty 2 cuz I actually won lane unlike you squid dick

HealerCarriesUXD (Soraka): yea cuz u stand under tower the entire game like pussy

GGEZGETCARRIED (Fizz): no I just good XD

GGEZGETCARRIED (Fizz): unlike u

GGEZGETCARRIED (Fizz): 0/7/2 KDA lookin ass

HealerCarriesUXD (Soraka): if u don't come bot it will be gg

GGEZGETCARRIED (Fizz): fine

GGEZGETCARRIED (Fizz): will swim down

GGEZGETCARRIED (Fizz) is on the way

David6617 (Jinx) has shut down GGEZGETCARRIED (Fizz)! (Total Kill Reward: 150G)

HealerCarriesUXD (Soraka) signals that enemies are missing

HealerCarriesUXD (Soraka) signals that enemies are missing

HeftyHerald (Caitlyn) signals that enemies are missing

HeftyHerald (Caitlyn): fizz u have fish brain

HeftyHerald (Caitlyn): uninstall plz

GGEZGETCARRIED (Fizz): lol

Footnotes

1. A multiplayer online battle arena (MOBA) created by Riot Games.

2. A short, aquatic character known in the League of Legends universe as a yordle.