An SCP-2396-A object in the wild.

Item #: SCP-2396

Object Class: Keter Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2396 is to be contained in Provisional Site-2396. Provisional Site-2396 will only be staffed by employees who identify as a woman in any capacity. Until a method of neutralizing SCP-2396's effect can be found, there will be no attempt to move it from the site. SCP-2396 is to be given a single liter of glucose syrup a day.

All male-identified civilians found within a six kilometer radius around Provisional Site-2396 are to be detained and screened for contact with SCP-2396-A. Any civilian found to be compromised is to be terminated before becoming an instance of SCP-2396-B. All SCP-2396-B instances encountered in the wild are to be terminated. Due to SCP-2396's current location, all terminated individuals are to be given a standard “Lost Hiker” cover story. Any civilians who witness an instance of SCP-2396-B are to be administered Class-B amnestics.

SCP-2396-A instances are to be incinerated immediately. All areas in a six kilometer radius around Provisional Site-2396 are to be closely monitored at all times for SCP-2396-A instances by Containment Task Force Lambda-6 (“Girly Girls”). If an instance of SCP-2396-B is located, CTF Λ-6 is to be called in to enact termination procedures. As with Provisional Site-2396, CTF Λ-6 is to be staffed only with task force operatives who identify as a woman in any capacity.

All containment efforts are to be oriented toward finding a way to neutralize SCP-2396's area of effect to facilitate containment.

SCP-2396 is to be housed in a standard humanoid containment cell in the Low Security Wing of Site-19. Daily, SCP-2396 is to be given a single liter of liquid sucralose it believes to be sugar. For ease of containment, all staff interacting with it are to identify as women in some capacity. No other precautions are necessary.

Description: SCP-2396 is a female humanoid, approximately 2.5m tall and weighing 101kg. SCP-2396 is identical to a baseline female human in appearance, with the exception of naturally occurring pink hair and irises. The words "Ms. Sweetie, from Little Misters ® by Dr. Wondertainment" are tattooed along the outside of SCP-2396's left thigh.

When denied sugar any food item identified as containing sugar, SCP-2396 claims to undergo great pain, necessitating a constant supply of sugar or food items identified as such. The amount of sugar is unimportant in maintaining its anomalous effect. The consumption of sugars in any amount will cause SCP-2396's blood sugar level to reach a constant level of ~400 mg/dL. Due to its abnormally high blood sugar levels, the object is was in a constant state of hyperglycemia, stating to suffer from constant headaches and blurred vision. Despite its consumption of food, SCP-2396 does not exhibit any excretory bodily functions or change in weight.

While SCP-2396 is “fueled” with sugar, any male individual (who is not currently a SCP-2396-B instance) coming within 50 yards of her expresses a strong desire to leave and reorient their position as far from SCP-2396 as possible. Male-identified individuals brought in direct contact with SCP-2396 undergo symptoms similar to a diabetic coma. The object claims that this is to “keep nasty brothers and their friends away.”

SCP-2396-A instances are small objects comprised of simple sugars that resemble assorted colors of hard candy. SCP-2396-A instances appear anywhere within a six kilometer radius of SCP-2396's current location, with a greater density appearing in areas known to contain human traffic. Due to their size and the large area of SCP-2396's area of effect, placement and amount of SCP-2396-A is uncertain. The production of SCP-2396-A is known to increase when SCP-2396 undergoes stress. While SCP-2396-A objects are harmless when touched or ingested by female-identified humans, male-identified humans undergo a gradual transformation to an instance of SCP-2396-B.

Transformation into an instance of SCP-2396-B is marked by an increase in blood sugar levels, sometimes exceeding 600 mg/dL. Due to this, many who come into contact with SCP-2396-A are immobilized immediately by the rapid increase in blood sugar. Over a period of up to twelve hours, the individual's flesh, fluids, and bone are, through an unknown process, converted into hard candy which replicates and molds the body, causing the individual to become an instance of SCP-2396-B.

SCP-2396-B instances take the form of large humanoid constructs and, rarely, unicorns. Once an SCP-2396-B entity has been fully converted, it will make way toward SCP-2396 and attempt to breach its containment. SCP-2396-B entities show a strong resistance toward blunt-force trauma and exhibit abnormal strength. SCP-2396-B entities will attack any male-identified individuals in their line of sight. SCP-2396-B entities follow any commands given by any female-identified individual, including orders to stand down, and are most easily terminated with fire, whether through incinerator or flamethrower.

SCP-2396 ceases production of SCP-2396-A and its effect on male-identified individuals when it has not ingested sugar for longer than 48 hours. At this time, its blood sugar level stays at a constant 10 mg/dL. Due to the similarity between the effects of hyperglycemia and hypoglycemia as exhibited in SCP-2396, the object is unable to recognize the difference when given a similar amount of artificial sugars.

+ Interview 2396-5

- Begin Log

This was the fifth interview with the object while in containment. SCP-2396 had been administered sucralose instead of its usual sugar for a week as of that time. For the sake of containment and gaining information, SCP-2396 was made to believe that it was still creating instances of SCP-2396-A and SCP-2396-B.

Dr. O'Herlihy: Good morning, SCP-2396.

SCP-2396: Oh, come on, Cindy! You don't have to be all stuffy with your best gal!

Dr. O'Herlihy: Alright, SCP-2396, are you aware another SCP-2396-B attempted to breach your containment?

SCP-2396: That's just boys. Always gotta be makin' a big stink of things when they wanna get your attention. Ain't it always like that? Never a man, always a boy. Always beatin' up their friends when they think they're gettin' too close. A man's always gotta have his hands busy or else they're gonna be in the air.

Dr. O'Herlihy: They seem to be concentrating on taking you away from here. Are you unhappy here, SCP-2396?

SCP-2396: A woman ain't happy anywhere. Isn't that what they say?

Dr. O'Herlihy: I am not aware of any such saying.

SCP-2396: It should be one. I don't know, Lucy, I think it's just because every gal wants a big strong lug to sweep her off her feet, and these are sweet boys, deep down. Even if they're sticky. I'm sure they'd sweep you off your feet, too, if you girls asked.

Dr. O'Herlihy: Then what about the instances that resemble unicorns?

SCP-2396: Don't you just love unicorns? All little girls love unicorns. You can eat them, too, when you get bored. Little girls get bored. It's good to have boys and unicorns you can eat when you're finished.

Dr. O'Herlihy: Isn't that a little reductive?

SCP-2396: Look, toots. I'm a girls' toy, and it's a man's world. What do you want from me?

Dr. O'Herlihy: Is that why you repel men? Because you're a girls' toy?

SCP-2396: Dr. W didn't like it when boys break their sisters' toys. Told me it was damn near the worst thing in the world. And they can't break me. They can't even come near me. Well, 'cept if they're, you know, all sweet and handsome.

Dr. O'Herlihy: And you're happy with the way things are?

SCP-2396: Dr. W's good in my book. I always had a sweet tooth, and I always wanted to be a girl. Kind of an okay trade-off, if you ask me. You guys ain't so bad, though. Even if the food's shit. Don't know how you mess up sugar, Sarah, but you guys make it taste like shit.

Addendum 2396-1: When prompted, SCP-2396 claimed to have lost any certification but was able to recite the following in full:

+ Access Document 2396-1

- Close Document 2396-1

Wow! You've just found yourself your very own Little Mister, a limited edition collection from Dr. Wondertainment!

Find them all and become Mr. Collector!!

01. Mr. Chameleon

02. Mr. Headless

03. Mr. Laugh

04. Mr. Forgetful

05. Mr. Shapey

06. Mr. Soap

07. Mr. Hungry

08. Mr. Brass

09. Mr. Hot

10. Ms. Sweetie ✔

11. Mr. Life and Mr. Death

12. Mr. Fish

13. Mr. Moon

14. Mr. Redd (discontinued)

15. Mr. Money

16. Mr. Lost

17. Mr. Lie

18. Mr. Mad

19. Mr. Scary

20. Mr. Stripes

Of note is that SCP-2396 verbalized every punctuation mark and spoke SCP-2284's title as a long exhalation of air.