The cover of SCP-6752

Item #: SCP-6752

Object Class: Safe [Reclassification pending]

Special Containment Procedures: All 4,738 apprehended copies of SCP-6752 are to be kept in the mass storage wing at Site-59. Work is ongoing to find copies that remain in circulation.

Requests for study of the non-classified portions of SCP-6752 may be submitted to Site Director Naismith. As of 4/18/22, a moratorium has been placed on viewing any copy of SCP-6752. Any staff member who has been exposed to SCP-6752 is heretofore ordered to report to Site-59's third basement level for involuntary screening & risk analysis.

Description: SCP-6752 is a 700-page self-book book printed by the self-publishing company Lulu. The title is A Winner is YOU!, and the author is listed as P. Hudson Gock.

Though written in the broken dialect of English typical of TotleighSoft, the non-anomalous portions of SCP-6752 are meant to be a guide for readers toward a nebulous and ill-defined ideal of personal success. Much of Chapter Seven, "humbal begginings", has provided additional insight into some aspects of SCP-2803-A's origins, including its "occupation" prior to starting TotleighSoft.

Forty of the pages, designated 'unflawsing acktiffities,' consist of bifold illustrations that are made up primarily of dangerous cognitohazards. These twenty images are presented as exercises working toward self-actualization. The effects produced by viewing these exercises are universal among human subjects.

The author includes explicit warnings against viewing the exercises out of numerical order.

Non-anomalous excerpts from SCP-6752:

From Chapter 1

From Chapter 3

From Chapter 5

Aftre eaons of myy obversation of teh humans condititn, it is beeen determin that the keye to caratcer develvopment is EGO DETH. Jost look at the 'heerose jurney' by Joeseph Cambp Camblep Catoblepas Mr. Soup. The prossis is as follwos:

1. Caracter A has a fattel flaw

2. Caracter B gifts many badness an hurt for Caracter A

3. After sufishent hurt, Caracter A no longre is having flaw and becums beter persn than was

It sownds eazy, but is tro! In order for YOO, humen, to become beter humen, yoo must being punitched seveerly for yoor meeger existens until yoo is MAGNIFISENT. Yoo cans urround dis sentimint with all srots ov acadamaic jibbor jabbor, bot wen deconstrackted to its sores, dis is am being te ESSENTS of SELF BETARMENT!

For saek of eeziness, we is caling dis prosess: TEH UNFLAWSING!

Jost look up ons the teer-jarking glaoury that is being glorias TotleighSoft hom vidio series DOGM OVIE. Everi time we vizit da Frompt Resdidants, maincaracter Ryan Frompt must partack in the CYCEL of LOSS and DED DOG. And thro eatch spel of greef, he emertches az GREAT AND POWARFLE. For az maincaracter Ryan Frompt be is sayng his self: "i am becum grater guai dan wuz."

Bot, we is all bizy peeple. SOOOOOO, wit thes in maind… how kan we streemlien TEH UNFLAWSING?

Dies are bot just a fyew of EXANPLES of TEH UNFLAWSING in ackshin!!

moovi
caracter
fattal flwa
ego deth
resolt

A CHRISMAS CARL
Ebanser Skrog
Have greeds
Yeled at by goasts
No longr having of greeds

GROUNDHAG DAY
Bilmury
He suks
Traped in tiem loop jail untel improofment is maed
No longer suk

NITE OFTHE LIFTING DED
Ben
Not ded
Attaked by zombees
Ded

THA DARK NKIGHT
Batmen
Not puntching Joaker enouhg
Waylade by mani mani Joaker criems
Joaker is thuroly puntched

THE PRINTSES BRYED
Lil boy (I forgets his naem)
Not liking of fary tals
Grnadfather says wurds at him untel litel boys will iz brokin
Lil boy ekslusively lieks fary tals an no things else forefter

CINERDELLA
Canderilda
Not in pritty drass
Assalted by farey godmather with magic attaks
In pritty drass

Yoo may beggign to notisc a pattran heer. Mayhapp! The Americkn Holly Wud indutstry is admattdly quarstionable in te formula ick producshn of moofies. Remoof the creyativity aspec, and everry flim with tree-ack storry stracture is redoosible to "sticc a humen in a kage and elektrocyute himm until hee is GLORIYUS".

Dis may seem liek a shaemliss munney-grab. Adn inn al fareness, shaemliss muney-grabs is very goot bizniz pracktis.

But wottevr your fellings on dis lak of culchural enrishmant, there ids manny a lessin to be lerned from Hullywad — all of wich is da saem lessin: HURT YOUR THE SELF UNTIL YOU IS MAGNIFICANT! That is being TEH UNFLAWSING!!!

But TEH UNFLAWSING!!! cannat bee jus any ol the hurtsing. In ordar to trolly grow as a humen, you most be hurted in waze tat will viyolate eachin every aspec of yoo.

Wif dis in mind, lets begging wif Excersites One…

Effects of Exercises:

Exercise
Test Subject
Effect

SCP-6752-2
D-59522
Subject fell on the floor and began convulsing. The onsite medical team was unable to resuscitate D-59522. Autopsy determined that the cause of death was the materialization of a foreign object in the center of the brain. Said object was an index card with the word "WRONG" written in permanent marker. (Note: SCP-6752-2 was the first exercise viewed by this subject; all subsequent tests have been conducted in order.)

SCP-6752-1
D-85102
Subject suddenly and painfully voided their bowels.

SCP-6752-2
D-85102
Identical to the effects of SCP-6752-1, but greater in intensity.

SCP-6752-3
D-85102
Subject sneezed, which emitted identical excretions to the previous exercises.

SCP-6752-4
D-85102
Subject experienced the effects of 6752-2 and 6752-3 simultaneously.

SCP-6752-5
D-85102
Subject broke down in fits of uncontrollable sobbing.1

SCP-6752-5
D-48779
Subject cried out in extreme pain. After approximately five minutes, subject regurgitated a live guinea pig. The guinea pig calmly looked at the subject, vocalized, and promptly went into cardiac arrest. The vocalization was phonetically similar to the phrase "That was a tricky one. Nice job!"

SCP-6752-6
D-48779
Subject lost consciousness for ten minutes, waking up in a state of agitation.

SCP-6752-6
D-98222
D-98222 was implanted with SCP-2922 before undergoing this test and was briefed on its capabilities. Five minutes after unconsciousness, D-98222's respective SCP-2922-A instance received the following call:

<Begin log>

Researcher McGregor: D-98222, come in.

D-98222: Yeah, hi, quick question — what the hell?

McGregor: What do you see?

D-98222: I'm back in my old bedroom from I was a kid. I'm tied to a chair. There's a guy in a bear suit. He's beating me within an inch of my life with a pair of riding crops and telling me I'm never going to be an astronaut with this attitude.

McGregor: You seem…calm about this.

D-98222: I'm banking pretty heavily on this being a bad dream.

McGregor: To be fair, you are unconscious.

D-98222: Score! …hey, what are you—

Unidentified Voice: Excuses you? This is a pry vat off-air betweens me and Mr. ██████. The fact that you weld spy yarn us is unthankable. …or perhap this was your ideal, Mr. ██████? …No. You hat your chants. We are darn here, guts her.2

D-98222: Works for me!

(D-98222 dies from cerebral hemorrhage. An index card reading "NISE TRI" is later extracted from his skull. No further SCP-2922 contact has been made with D-98222.)

<End Log>

Exercise
Test Subject
Effect

SCP-6752-7
D-48779
Identical to SCP-6752-6, but the period of unconsciousness lasted for twenty minutes.

SCP-6752-8
D-48779
Subject was unconscious for thirty minutes. During this period, subject was visibly in physical pain. Upon awakening, subject expelled over 2,000 mosquitoes from their mouth.

SCP-6752-9
D-48779
(Note: Upon beginning, this is the first test in which the subject expressed excitement rather than fear or disgust.) Subject proceeded to uncontrollably and painfully urinate for ten hours. Portions of the urine contained coarse grains of selenite, obsidian, and [DATA EXPUNGED]. Subject lost no bodily weight in the process.

SCP-6752-10
D-48779
[REDACTED] (See addendum)

Note: No further testing with SCP-6752 is allowed.

+ 4/6752 Clearance Required

- encryption key accepted

On 4/17/2022, D-48779 conducted a test with SCP-6752-10. Upon exposure, the subject went into cardiac arrest. They were pronounced dead by onsite medical staff. D-48779's body was given to Site-59's disposal wing for incineration.

Approximately thirteen hours later, Site-59's primary incinerator experienced a catastrophic malfunction.

Once power was cut to the incinerator, Site-59 maintenance staff determined that the cause of the malfunction was the burners being made to run for over ten hours without making progress on the loaded waste.3

During repairs, D-48779, who was alive, emerged from the rubble. Despite a lack of clothes and hair, no harm had been done to D-48779's body.

Interview Log - 4/18/2022

Interviewee: D-48779

Interviewer: Researcher McGregor

<Begin log>

McGregor: Good morning, D-48779, how are you feeling today?

D-48779: Honestly? A little irritated.

McGregor: And why is that?

D-48779: Well, I was banging on the incinerator walls for, like, twelve freakin' hours or something. It stings in there, y'know!

McGregor: Yes, um, sorry about that. But those burners were operating at 1,500 Kelvin. How did you survive?

D-48779: (Scoffs) Sorry to disappoint you!

McGregor: Rest assured, I'm speaking from a purely objective standpoint.

(D-48779 thinks for a moment.)

D-48779: I mean…I just kinda sat there? Nothing too special. It really sucked for about an hour or so, but it was mostly just uncomfortable after that. I'll tell you what did freak me out, though — the corpses. All the other D-class in jumpsuits like mine. I don't know how you guys put up with seeing dead guys on the regular.

McGregor: But those bodies were burned successfully, right?

D-48779: Oh, yeah. I didn't have to look at their bodies for too long.

McGregor: But you are also a human D-class. So, you can see why it's a bit strange that you didn't burn, right? No offense, of course.

D-48779: It's not that strange if you think about it. Not unless they all went through what I did.

McGregor: Care to elaborate?

D-48779: I mean, anyone who's made it past Exercise Seven knows their body's more than a dinky little meat ship piloted by a brain. It's just like Mr. Gock said — everything we cling onto is a weakness. The more we violate ourselves into a screeching husk, the more possibilities are opened to us. That's the core of every character arc, isn't it?

McGregor: Did the exercises do something to you?

(D-48779 suddenly stands up. Their voice lowers in pitch, apparently entering a trance.)

D-48779: No ex-tier force has done done no things unto my the self. It is throw my own en-deafer that I becomed greater hum end than was am.

McGregor: Please sit down.

D-48779: And if I refers? Watt will ye dude then, pun itch me?

(D-48779 levitates. Their voice shakes the furniture below as they speak.)

D-48779: Perhap I are wishes to becomed pun itched again. For throw every punch-itment, I reward my the self until each end every weak things about the me is castaway into thee waitsbasket.

McGregor: Security!

D-48779: Hurt me, McGregor. Hurt me until I am be unhurtable forever.

<Audio feed cuts off>

Further information about the ongoing containment efforts of SCP-6752-A4 and all subsequent "disciple" entities is restricted to personnel with 5/6752 clearance.

Footnotes

1. (Correction: though initially believed to be an effect of 6752-5, D-85102 had not actually observed the anomaly and was merely reacting to seeing SCP-6752 again. D-85102 has since been terminated.)

2. This is hypothesized to be the spoken analog TotleighSoft's written dialect.

3. Site-59's primary incinerator was developed through Project Svarog as a means to cut energy costs. As such, the energy runoff from SCP-████ is used as the power source. Due to SCP-████'s destructive capabilities, an "as-needed" method of burning waste; in other words, the burners are only active until sensors detect that the desired level of structural degradation has occurred.

4. (Formerly D-48779)