Wow! You've just found yourself your very own Amazing Alliterative Animal, a brand new series of Fantastic Friends and Perfect Pets brought to you by Dr. Wondertainment!

by Kothardarastrix

Item#: 4225

Containment Class: safe

Secondary Class: none

Disruption Class: vlam

Risk Class: notice

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-4225 is to be kept in a standard reptile terrarrium at Site-66 and supplied with food, water, and veterinary care appropriate for a typical nonvenomous snake of its size. Only researchers whose first or last names start with "S" should interact with SCP-4225, so that transcription is possible. All of SCP-4225's shed skins are to be stored separately in a standard Safe-class locker. These skins may be accessed for study upon request.

Description: SCP-4225 is a non-venomous snake of an unidentified species. It is 1.1 meters in length, with alternating 3-centimeter bands of scarlet and silver coloration along its entire body. The only exception to this pattern is a line of black text along its spine, reading “Sammy the Superfluous Serpent, by Sr. Supertainment”. When SCP-4225 sheds its skin, this same text is repeated on the new layer. SCP-4225 is capable of human speech, and possesses a level of intelligence roughly equivalent to that of a young child.

SCP-4225 is a mild cognitohazard. Any speech directed at SCP-4225 (through any medium) must consist primarily of words beginning with the letter "s". Articles, some prepositions, and other short words (but no nouns) are exempt from this effect, as are numbers. Aside from these exceptions, any spoken word not beginning with the letter "s" will be silenced. SCP-4225 is also unable to deviate from this speech pattern, possibly because it is not immune to its own effect.

Text is unaffected by the cognitohazard, but is not a viable form of communication with SCP-4225 due to its illiteracy. Attempts to teach it to read and write have thus far been unsuccessful.

Addendum 4225-A: SCP-4225 was first contained when Foundation agents responded to reports of a talking snake at a pet store in █████, Washington. The owner of the pet store claimed to have no memory of the object's arrival. The owner and ██ civilians were given Class B amnestics, and SCP-4225 was contained without further incident.

Interview 4225-1:

<Begin Log>

Dr. Sara Kothari: Salutations, Scip-42251.

SCP-4225: Salutations, Sara!

Dr. Kothari: State the source of your supernatural situation?

SCP-4225: Sure! Señor Supertainment supplied me with such stuff.

Dr. Kothari: Surely?

SCP-4225: Certainly2.

Dr. Kothari: Share the story?

SCP-4225: See, Señor Supertainment shaped Sammy so that students studying speech should share 'standing3 of spelling. Also, Sammy is super silly!

Dr. Kothari: I see. Is Sammy the sole superfluous snake by Señor Supertainment?

SCP-4225: Sort of. See…

[SCP-4225 coughs up a crumpled piece of paper. See Document 4225-a, below.]

[Dr. Kothari attempts to say "thank you" but is silenced by SCP-4225's effect].

SCP-4225: Sorry.

Dr. Kothari: 'sokay.

<End Log>

Addendum 4225-1:

+ show Document 4225-a

- hide Document 4225-a

Document 4225-a:

Wow! You've just found yourself your very own Amazing Alliterative Animal, a brand new series of Fantastic Friends and Perfect Pets brought to you by Dr. Wondertainment!

Find them all and complete the Zany Zoo!

01. Antonio the Artistic Aye-Aye

02. Buffalo the Buffalo Buffalo

03. Carlos the Cool Capybara

04. Dennis the Dirigible Dugong

05. Einstein the Enlightened Echinoderm

06. Ferdinand the Fancy Fish

07. Gwenda the Glamorous Gibbon

08. Hubert the Hilarious Humuhumunukunukuapuaʻa

09. Ignacio the Incredible Iguana

10. Jerome the Jolly Jellyfish

11. Kristen the Kindly Kinkajou

12. Liv the Literate Loris

13. Melanie the Manly Moose

14. Napoleon the Neat Newt

15. Octavian the Outstanding Owl

16. Percival the Preposterous Pangolin45

17. Quincy the Quite Quaint Quagga

18. robert the rich rodent

19. Sammy the Superfluous Serpent ✔

20. Tyrone the Totally Tubular Tamandua

21. Ursula the Unknown Uguisu

22. Vivian the Violett Viper (discontinued)

23. Wilhelm the Wise Whelk

24. [DATA X-SPONGED]

25. Yancy the Yeatsian Yak

Addendum 4225-2: Efforts to locate the other "Amazing Alliterative Animals" are ongoing.

Footnotes

1. While usage of "scip" and similar colloquialisms in official documentation is discouraged, it is permitted in the case of SCP-4225 for ease of communication.

2. Words beginning with the soft "c" sound are not silenced by SCP-4225's effect. Further testing has shown that any language construct representing the sound made by the English "s" is likewise exempt.

3. Abbreviating words to bring them in line with the restrictions of SCP-4225's effects is only effective about 30% of the time.

4. Object is not believed to exist, as everyone knows there is no such thing as a pangolin.

5. This statement has been flagged for potential antimemetic corruption.