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SCP-6806 - Nautical Nonsense

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Item #: SCP-6806
Level 1/6806

Object Class: Euclid
Classified

Site-58 security footage still. SCP-6806 is visible right of center.

Special Containment Procedures: Site-58 as a whole is considered the active containment zone of SCP-6806, although it primarily manifests within the Site-58 break room. All personnel stationed at Site-58 are to record SCP-6806 manifestations whenever they occur; any observed deviations from standard behavior are to be reported immediately. In the event of a containment breach, the compromised location is to be considered an extension of Site-58 and treated accordingly.

One or more episodes of the Spongebob Squarepants television show are to be screened in the Site-58 break room for the viewing of at least three individuals on a weekly basis. These individuals are to be considered the SCP-6806 containment committee, and rotated out monthly. They are to remain under surveillance during their weekly screenings.

Description: SCP-6806 is an entity which inhabits live video footage recorded within and nearby Site-581. It primarily appears in security camera feeds, although it has also inhabited videos recorded by mobile phones and body cameras on occasion. SCP-6806 bears significant visual similarities to the title character from the televised cartoon program Spongebob Squarepants; the exact reason for this resemblance is unknown.

SCP-6806 manifests in video footage at irregular intervals. When active, it behaves as if it is physically present in the location being recorded, avoiding obstacles as appropriate. As such, alterations of the environment such as the sealing of all exits will temporarily arrest its movement. However, it has shown an ability to transport itself between live video feeds in order to escape locked containment cells.

Footage inhabited by SCP-6806 will display a number of abnormal alterations to the environment being recorded. These alterations commonly include:

Presence of auditory phenomena commonly noted in marine environments such as seabird calls, bubbling, and liquid splashing and trickling.

Appearance of acorn barnacles (Semibalanus balanoides), stalked kelp (Pterygophora californica), and California mussels (Mytilus californianus) on exposed surfaces.

A layer of water at the lowest visible elevation in the environment.

Distant laughter similar to that of the character Spongebob Squarepants.

These alterations only appear in footage and are not present in reality. Debated; see Addendum 02.

Although extensive testing has not been authorized due to security concerns, the ability of SCP-6806 to transport itself between camera feeds does not appear to be limited by distance. Additionally, on two occasions, it has manifested in the camera feeds of oceanic vessels outside the bounds of Site-58. Due to this, SCP-6806 poses a high theoretical risk to secrecy should it appear outside Foundation custody.

However, it should be noted that SCP-6806 displays a preference towards occupying camera feeds which depict certain individuals. When interrogated, these individuals consistently claim either to have recently watched an episode of the Spongebob Squarepants program or to express an overall interest in the program. This behavior may be exploited in order to confine SCP-6806 to a certain location — namely, Site-58.

It is not known if SCP-6806 is sapient, or if it is aware of events outside its immediate vicinity. Attempts to communicate with SCP-6806 have failed. The entity does not interact with personnel or objects in any way, save for avoiding them if they are blocking its path.

To date, SCP-6806 has not displayed signs of hostility. Debated; see Addendum 02.

Addendum 01: On 03/01/2020, Researchers Adam Smith, George Kinley and Mark Vanderbilt were assigned to the SCP-6806 containment committee. They attended the weekly screening of Spongebob Squarepants episodes as requested, and their activities during this time were recorded by security cameras in the Site-58 break room, as is standard for SCP-6806 containment protocols.

The content of these recordings is relevant to an ongoing investigation — as such, they have been transcribed and attached below.

Subjects: Researchers Adam Smith, George Kinley and Mark Vanderbilt

Time: 20:41

Episode: Help Wanted

[BEGIN LOG]

(Both Smith and Kinley are seen sitting on a couch within the Site-58 break room. Vanderbilt enters the room, carrying a VHS tape.)

Smith: What took ya so long?

Vanderbilt: You know how hard it is to get a Spongebob episode down here when Command only supplied us with a VHS player?

Smith: Not that, I was told you'd be here two hours ago.

Vanderbilt: I did not say that. I said I'd be here as soon as possible.

Smith: That's what George told me, at least.

Vanderbilt: I never told him that either.

Kinley: Yes you d— whatever, it doesn't matter, just get it over with.

(Vanderbilt walks over to the television and turns it on. After turning on the VHS player, he inputs the tape into the player, walks back to the couch and sits down.)

Smith: What season?

Vanderbilt: One.

Smith: Neat. George, you ever watch Spongebob?

Kinley: Can't say I have. How 'bout you, what's it about?

Smith: Oh, all the time with my kid. That's all he'll ever watch nowadays. It's decent for a kids' cartoon, I think we'll have fun.

(The theme song for Spongebob Squarepants begins to play.)

Pirate: Are ya ready, kids?

(SCP-6806 manifests behind Smith. Spongebob Squarepants’ laughter is faintly audible, as if from a great distance.)

Smith: (Quietly) Aye-aye, Cap'n.

Children: Aye-aye, Cap’n!

Pirate: I can't hear you!

Kinley: You really gonna sing the theme song? For a kid's cartoon?

Smith: You got a problem with it?

Kinley: You're a grown ass man, Adam.

Smith: So?

Vanderbilt: Shut the fuck up.

Smith: Why are you all cranky all of a sudden?

Vanderbilt: Because I don't want to be here. Feels juvenile.

Smith: Is this really the worst thing you could be doing right now, man?

Vanderbilt: …No, bu—

Smith: Then stop it. You'll survive.

(Vanderbilt sighs. SCP-6806 disappears. Smith takes a small glass of water and gargles the water for 25 seconds.)

Kinley: As I was saying…

[EXTRANEOUS FOOTAGE REMOVED]

(On the television, the titular character Spongebob Squarepants is seen in front of the Krusty Krab.)

Spongebob: There it is. The finest eating establishment ever established for eating: The Krusty Krab, home of the Krabby Patty… with a Help Wanted sign in the window.

Kinley: Trust me, kid, you're gonna hate it there.

Smith: What do you mean?

Kinley: Underwater or not, fast food joints are still the scum of the Earth. Not as bad as retail, though.

Smith: Dude, you work at the Foundation, you have no right to talk about shitty jobs.

Kinley: I fail to see how that's related to fast food jobs being shitty.

Smith: You really think that a job you risk your life on every day of every year is better than flipping burgers?

Kinley: That's not at all what I said.

Smith: Am I going deaf, then? ‘Cause that's what I heard.

Vanderbilt: Is this really the hill you wanna die on, Adam?

Smith: I just… ugh.

(The group watches the rest of the episode in silence. The sound of a shower running is faintly audible, despite the latrine being located on the opposite side of the Site from the screening room.)

[END LOG]

Subjects: Researchers Adam Smith, George Kinley and Mark Vanderbilt

Time: 21:01

Episode: Tea at the Treedome

[BEGIN LOG]

(Kinley is visible in the nearby kitchen, preparing a small pot of spaghetti and meatballs. Smith and Vanderbilt walk into the room. Vanderbilt is carrying another VHS tape. The shower is still audible in the distance, now slightly louder.)

Kinley: Just in time, boys, dinner's almost done.

Smith: We've already had dinner.

(Both Smith and Vanderbilt sit on the couch, which is accompanied by a very faint foghorn sound. Neither individual reacts to this sound.)

Kinley: If you call that schlock "dinner" then technically, yes, you've already had dinner, but I assume that hasn't filled you up yet.

Smith: The chicken? You calling chicken a fake dinner?

Kinley: You only had two chicken nuggets worth.

Smith: That's all I need!

Vanderbilt: You were complaining that there wasn't enough earlier.

Smith: Yeah, that was earlier. I thought it over and decided I was just being greedy.

Kinley: Look— do you want spaghetti or not?

Smith: No.

Kinley: Jesus, okay, that's all I needed to know.

[EXTRANEOUS FOOTAGE REMOVED]

(All three individuals are sitting on the couch and watching the episode. Both Vanderbilt and Kinley are eating plates of spaghetti. Smith clutches his stomach; several colonies of barnacles are briefly visible on his right arm.)

Smith: Hey, uh, could I have some?

Kinley: I remember you said you weren't hungry.

Smith: Okay look, I'm sorry, I was trying to look cool, okay, could I have some spaghetti?

Kinley: I'm sorry, dude, but I just got done five minutes ago.

(SCP-6806 appears behind Smith as he stares down at Kinley's plate, which is empty.)

Smith: You had half a plate just a second ago.

Kinley: Huh?

Smith: You had plenty of spaghetti, like, five seconds ago. What'd you do— did you fucking throw it behind the couch just to prove a point?

Vanderbilt: Adam, what the actual fuck are you on about now?

Smith: Kinley threw away his food just to shit on me.

(Smith regurgitates a small amount of water and a minnow onto the floor. Neither Vanderbilt nor Kinley appear to notice this.)

Kinley: I finished, like, minutes ago and told you I was done. Are you okay, dude?

Smith: No, the fuck you didn't.

Vanderbilt: Jesus fucking Christ, Adam, there's a TV dinner in the freezer, eat that and shut up.

Smith: No, I'm fine.

(SCP-6806 disappears. A leak is visible in the ceiling, which was not previously present.)

[EXTRANEOUS FOOTAGE REMOVED]

(On the television, Spongebob can be seen sitting at a picnic table, obsessively staring at a glass pitcher. At this point, Spongebob is completely shriveled up due to a lack of water.)

SpongeBob: (Thinking) I don't need it, I don't need it, I definitely don't need it. I don't need it. I don't need it. I don't need it. I don't need it.

(Spongebob continues to repeat this phrase throughout the rest of the episode. The group does not comment on this.)

Smith: (Whispering) I don't need it, I don't need it, I don't need it, I don't need it, I don't need it, I do—

Vanderbilt: If you're hungry, then go eat! Jesus!

Smith: I DON'T NEED IT!

Vanderbilt: You obviously do, you're sweating up a storm! You're gonna fuckin' drown us in your sweat if you don't calm down.

Smith: I'm not hungry!

Kinley: Smith, I have a very serious question right now.

Smith: Yes?

Kinley: What's gotten into you? You're acting like a goddamn weirdo. More bitchy than usual, too.

Smith: I'm not bitchy.

Vanderbilt: Yes, you are! All you've done these past few screenings is complain and it's tiring.

Kinley: Calm down, Mark, I don't think he's mentally all there.

Vanderbilt: What, now you're going to tell me how to talk to Smith when you were making fun of him just five minutes ago?

Kinley: I was not making fun of him.

Vanderbilt: Then what were you doing, huh? Huh?

Kinley: Cut the sass. You know I didn't make fun of him. I just got worried when he started freaking out about my spaghetti.

Vanderbilt: You said "I thought you weren't hungry" or something like that in this sarcastic-ass tone.

Kinley: What? That wasn't— I was being genuine. I was literally just saying that normally. How is that making fun of him?

Vanderbilt: Yeah, right. What kind of genuine person words it like that?

Kinley: What is your fucking issue?

Vanderbilt: My issue is that you’re a hypocrite, George!

(On the television, Spongebob continues to repeat the phrase "I don't need it" over the course of several hours. Smith gets up and moves to a corner of the room, continuing to repeat the phrase as well. Vanderbilt and Kinley both continue to argue about different topics long after the episode ends. Noted topics of argument include the limited food supply of Site-58, the cramped conditions at Site-58, and both parties' dislike of one another and Smith.)

(SCP-6806 appears in the middle of the room, staring at the security camera. The entity appears to cry.)

[END LOG]

Subjects: Researchers Adam Smith, George Kinley and Mark Vanderbilt

Time: 19:42

Episode: Naughty Nautical Neighbors

[BEGIN LOG]

(Kinley, Vanderbilt and Smith are seen sitting on the coach, having been arguing with each other for several hours prior. The shower can still be heard in the background.)

Vanderbilt: We need to fucking watch the episode! I don't care if you're scared, we have procedures we have to follow and we aren’t following them right now.

Kinley: Dude, Smith is obviously under the influence of an anomaly and Mr. "Researcher James Ate A Cookie That Wasn't Accounted For At Site-58, He Needs To Go To Quarantine For Two Hours" is saying we should just say “fuck it” and keep fucking going.

Vanderbilt: Really? You're bringing that up now? That wasn't the reason James was sent to quarantine and you know it.

Kinley: Oh, please, then do tell, why was he sent there?

Vanderbilt: Did you NOT hear him spout all that stuff that he didn't have clearance for?

Smith: Bull fucking shit…

Vanderbilt: Stay out of this.

Smith: No, fuck off, James had Level 3 clearance and the anomaly was Level 2, he was in a room filled with Level 3s or above.

Vanderbilt: No, the fuck he was not.

Smith: Yes, he was! He literally was, there was not a single level 2 in a 50 mile radius.

Vanderbilt: The janitor was there.

Kinley: No, he was in his office.

Vanderbilt: Why do you even know this?

Kinley: Because I had to do several stacks of paperwork over this shit! We don't just take people's word willy nilly here. We’re the Foundation.

Vanderbilt: I could SEE him! He was there, within EARSHOT of James!

Kinley: That's not true, we literally have the tapes! I could go get them right now if we weren't stuck in this fucking screening room.

Vanderbilt: I have no reason to believe you didn't screw with it anyway because I never saw the footage.

Kinley: Are you accusing me of tampering with evidence?

Vanderbilt: No, I'm giving you a Nobel Peace Prize, you idiot. The hell do you think I’m doing?

Smith: First you accused him of not having Level 3 clearance and now you're saying there were people without the clearance near him? Make up your mind.

(The three continue to argue for several more minutes before the audio begins to gradually vanish. After 20 seconds, the tape is completely silent. Shortly after this, a male voice speaking in a French accent can be heard.)

Unknown: Ah, the sea… so mysterious, so beautiful, so… uh, noisy. Here we find our three friends having a useless argument over things that ultimately don't matter in the sea's eye. Even as their bleached bones are picked clean by countless fish, they will still argue over what the time was.

(SCP-6806 slowly begins to enter the frame from below. Its eyes are wide, staring directly at the camera, and its mouth is open in a smile. Although there is no audio beyond the unknown voice, the entity appears to be laughing.)

Unknown: Our spongy little friend doesn't really like this much at all. He wishes everyone could get along. Luckily, in the deep blue sea, there's no such thing as sapience, so petty arguments are null and void. Our absorbent pal has an idea. Say goodbye to the light. They won't be missing it.

(The screen abruptly cuts to black. The shower can still be heard in the background.)

[END LOG]

Addendum 02 - Incident 6806-PARICIA

On 03/18/2020, shortly after the events of the above log, Site-58 experienced an unexpected power outage. During this time, all attempts at communication with the Site from outside failed, and all exits and entrances were inoperable.

After one hour, all power systems spontaneously reactivated. During subsequent interviews, Site-58 personnel described losing consciousness at the exact moment of the power failure and reawakening afterwards, with no recollection of the intervening events. Furthermore, during a full canvas of the site, Researchers Smith, Kinley and Vanderbilt were found to no longer be present in their living quarters. Their location and status remain unknown.

Footage of the event could not initially be obtained, as security cameras site-wide were severely water-damaged for unknown reasons. However, database inspection discovered several fragments of coherent security footage that had apparently been saved and logged during Incident 6806-PARICIA. This footage is the only source of information as to what occurred during Incident 6806-PARICIA; it has been transcribed and compiled into an assumed timeline of events below.

[BEGIN VIDEO TRANSCRIPTS]

Break Room Camera

(20-second clip. The break room appears to be rapidly filling with water. Smith, Kinley and Vanderbilt are attempting to open the break room's doors, but are unable, as the locking mechanism is visibly obstructed by acorn barnacle colonies. Behind them, the television screen displays a chaotic pattern of rapidly flashing colors, occasionally interspersed with single frames from random Spongebob Squarepants episodes.)

(SCP-6806 is standing directly in front of the television, and its form blurs briefly before the water rises past the camera and the feed cuts out.)

Hallway 03 Camera

(10-second clip. The hallway is entirely flooded and in a state of severe disrepair. Acorn barnacle colonies, algae growths, and heavy corrosion and oxidation are visible on the walls and floor. No activity occurs for two seconds, after which Kinley and Vanderbilt are seen swimming through the hallway with Smith lagging behind.)

(Despite the fact that all three appear to be aspirating considerable quantities of water, they exhibit no distress. Furthermore, they are conversing with each other, although due to the camera's poor quality and lack of audio sensors the topic of discussion cannot be discerned. Feed is lost as the three individuals swim past the camera.)

Hallway 07 Camera

(23-second clip. Hallway 07 is in a similar state of disrepair to Hallway 03. A row of doors leading to Site staff living quarters is visible on the left-hand side of the hallway. All doors are ajar and all rooms are apparently empty, with no personnel present. Smith, Kinley and Vanderbilt are inspecting the second door from the right; Kinley turns to Vanderbilt and appears to remark on the room's contents shortly before the feed is lost.)

Exterior Camera 11

(15-second clip. From the vantage point of Exterior Camera 11, the majority of Site-58 can be seen — it is heavily corroded in its entirety and overgrown by marine life and coral. The support struts of the Site, which are normally anchored in the seabed, extend indefinitely off camera. Additionally, a massive hole is visible in the side of the Site. The edges of the hole display signs of crush damage from high pressure and are lined with clusters of acorn barnacles.)

(Smith, Kinley and Vanderbilt are seen emerging from the hole in the Site. They converse briefly; based on lip-reading, they appear to be discussing a plan to swim to the surface of the ocean. Shortly afterwards, all three individuals swim upwards and out of view of the camera.)

(SCP-6806 appears in the hole in the Site. Its eyes follow the researchers. Although Exterior Camera 11 is waterproof, the feed is lost shortly after.)

Body Camera of Researcher Smith

(2-minute clip. Camera activates and begins transmitting for unknown reasons. It is not known why Researcher Smith was wearing a body camera, or how it was acquired — at the time of writing, Site-58's supply of body cameras are entirely accounted for.)

(Based on what can be seen, Researchers Smith, Kinley and Vanderbilt are engaged in a violent physical altercation. Vanderbilt has locked an elbow around Kinley's neck and is repeatedly striking him in the ribs; Kinley's face is bruised, and he is attempting to shove Vanderbilt away while punching him in the stomach. Both are animatedly shouting. There is no audio; however, lip-reading analysis has determined that the words "site", "flooded", and "your fault" are spoken several times. Smith is attempting to intervene and push the two others apart but appears to have sustained several injuries in the process, based on the blood floating by his camera.)

(As they are preoccupied, the three individuals do not immediately notice that they are being pulled downwards by an unseen force.)

(The force grows in intensity, drawing the researchers' attention. They attempt to struggle, but are unable to escape. Visibility drops sharply as they are pulled deeper into the ocean. Smith's body camera swerves to point downwards, revealing that nothing can be seen in the water beneath them. Movement of loose clothing indicates that the force pulling Smith, Kinley and Vanderbilt down is continuing to increase during this time.)

(An indistinct shape begins to slowly emerge below the three. The footage rapidly degrades before failing entirely. Based on telemetry, the body camera appears to have been physically destroyed mid-transmission.)

The source of the final relevant recording is unknown. It was found saved in Site-58's database with no file attributions or credentials attached, and displays an entirely corrupted timestamp. It is titled "funsong.mp4".

Unknown

(Video feed consists of an entirely black screen. Smith, Kinley and Vanderbilt can be heard singing. They are in near-perfect harmony with one another; however, their voices are noted as sounding considerably strained or exhausted.)

Smith: F is for friends who’ll learn to love each other.

Kinley: U is for understanding, because we didn't see.

Vanderbilt: N is for never, we’re never going home…

All: Down here in the deep blue sea.

(A voice identical to that of Spongebob Squarepants can be heard in the background during the final verse of the song. At the conclusion of the song, a large volume of water is heard splashing, drowning out nearly all other audio. Faint, fading laughter is briefly audible.)

(Shortly afterwards, the clip ends.)

Further investigations discovered a layer of saline water measuring one inch in depth on the floor of Site-58's break room. Additionally, the break room’s television was nonfunctional due to a large hole in the center of the screen. Genetic material identified as originating from one or more acorn barnacle specimens was recovered from the edges of the hole.

Personnel requirements for the SCP-6806 containment committee are slated for major revision.

Footnotes

1. A Foundation secure site located on the Pacific seafloor.