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Article: SCP-289-DE The Great Bazoo

Original: May be found here

Author: Gramlin

Translator: Karpfisch

Both images were drawn by Gramlin's girlfriend.

Drawing of "The Great Bazoo", submitted by █████ on ██/██/████1

Item #: SCP-289-DE

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-289-DE is to be contained inside a fitting chamber specialized for humanoids in Site-DE17, which must be furnished in the style of a birthday party. A bathtub or toilet are not required. SCP-289-DE is permitted to fill furniture requests for its cell, which can be approved following review by site-command. This generally includes furniture typical for children's birthday parties.

In order to prevent a "Happy Birthday" event from occurring, all regional job advertisements in magazines, newspapers, the internet, or other up-do-date sources have to be reviewed and all job ads concerning SCP-289-DE hindered from publication.

If a "Happy Birthday" event occurs, all agents stationed nearby must be dispatched to large children's birthday parties, folk festivals, or other private or public celebrations in the containment site's immediate vicinity to search and apprehend SCP-289-DE.

If possible, SCP-289-DE should be contained in a peaceful manner to evade public attention. For this purpose, the celebration must be ended or the required number of children removed from the affected area. As it possesses a relatively basic mind, SCP-289-DE can be subsequently lured to a containment transporter via false phrases or simple tricks.2 Care should be taken to ensure that no person present approaches SCP-289-DE during its containment process to prevent a possible provocation.

In case of aggressive behavior expressed by SCP-289-DE, all present civilians must be evacuated from the immediate location. Personnel is cleared to use firearms and heavy net guns in this case to properly immobilize SCP-289-DE.

In both cases, class A amnestics are to be administered to all present persons after the fact.

Description: SCP-289-DE designates a humanoid being inside of a massive mascot costume. The costume depicts a roundly-shaped, obese, violet monster with colorful spots on its body, large googly-eyes with wiggling, black, roundly-shaped plastic pupils, green spikes on its back and short, lizard-like stub tail, as well as a large jaw with sharp yellow teeth. An oversized pink bow with colorful spots is present on its neck.

The costume measures 2.30 m in size, and SCP-289-DE's total weight amounts to 243 kg. With the exception of its jaw, the costume does not show any discernible openings and neither has a zipper, nor buttons, Velcro fasteners or other closures.

SCP-289-DE is capable of pulling its jaw to a width of one meter3. The interior of the mouth appears to be entirely black, and attempts to record it, and especially the humanoid inside, have failed.

Radiographic scans and CT imaging revealed the skeleton of an adult human male around 25 - 35 years of age in the interior, but both organs and other organic components are missing. The costume is made of a kind of tear- and rip-proof fabric that is plush-like to the touch, but is also thick and resistant enough to withstand even knives cuts, gunshots, and anesthetic darts without notable damage.4 Injuries to the fabric heal in a matter of seconds to a few minutes, depending on the size and type of the injury. The interior is filled with synthetic wool, seemingly replacing the lacking organic mass. Above the 20 cm wide eyes, large, thick eyebrows with long hairs are located, which are capable of independent locomotion and show SCP-289-DE's emotional states.

SCP-298-DE refers to itself as "The Great Bazoo", and shows a highly childish behavior and mindset. Usually, it exhibits a cooperative demeanor, presenting an overactive, ever-cheerful behavior, as long as one does not provoke it or make a negative statement about it.

Due to its physical stature and weight, it generally moves rather slowly, and can move at fast walking speed at most. However, it is surprisingly fast with its hands, showing a high level of skill, reflexes, and coordination ability, whether it is by swiftly grabbing and throwing an object or person, juggling, during sleight-of-hand, painting simple pictures, or playing plain instruments. Tests also concluded that it is capable of lifting weights up to 300 kg, and performing punches strong enough to penetrate reinforced wooden doors.

Outside of a "Happy Birthday" event, SCP-289-DE appears to permanently celebrate in its cell. It neither needs sleep, nor does it produce waste products, feasting solely on dishes and drinks typical for children's birthday parties, such as party meatballs, sweet sodas, sweets, or birthday cakes5.

List of notable examples of requests by SCP-289-DE

Close list

• Four large colorful garlands, each producing the lettering "Happy Birthday", which are attached to the containment cell walls (approved)

• Balloons filled with helium (rejected)

• Balloons filled with air (approved)

• Colorful paper streamers (approved)

• Four large paper bags filled with confetti (initially approved, but later, due to protests by the cleaning personnel, rejected)

• A large birthday cake with several burning candles (rejected; a plastic dummy was provided as fireproof alternative)

• A large bowl of different sweets (approved, replaced in periodical intervals)

• A stereo-system playing children party songs (rejected; instead, party songs are broadcasted via the built-in speech system at certain intervals)

• Many colorful gifts (rejected, as their content was not specified)

• Groups of children under 10 years to party with SCP-289-DE (rejected)

• An "evil" kid for weekly consumption (rejected)

Although it will plea nearby personnel to celebrate with it, rejections with a friendly and, if possible, gentle explanation are advisable to evade a possible provocation. However, when interrupted during a party or attacked, SCP-289-DE reacts extremely aggressively and violently, which, due to its anomalous strength, frequently ends in the death of bystanders.

Advertisements appear irregularly in local print media or websites, offering performances by "The Great Bazoo" for children birthday parties or other big events directed at children for cheap prices (designated SCP-289-DE-1). Except for a telephone number, there are no references to the author(s), neither names nor locations, and investigations into call or IP address tracking were fruitless.

If a person become attentive of SCP-289-DE-1 and orders SCP-289-DE by phone for their event that meets the minimum requirements of a fitting celebration for SCP-289-DE, a "Happy Birthday" event occurs, causing SCP-289-DE to vanish from its containment cell in an unknown way, whereafter it materializes at the affected event some time later.6

The following requirements must be provided for a celebration to trigger a „Happy Birthday“ event:

There must be at least five children, who have not reached their 10th year of life yet.

The festival must be organized for a child, for example a birthday, or should be mainly focused on children, for example a celebration for Children's Day.

The celebration must feature properties of a typical children party, such as fitting decorations, music, and dishes.

The scheduled program must be designed for celebrations directed at children, e.g. typical games for children parties.

Attempts to call SCP-289-DE-1 without planned celebrations or if the latter would not fit the requirements for a "Happy Birthday" event have so far always resulted in a loud sound reminiscent of a air trunk horn, before the line was constantly unavailable.

SCP-289-DE will then attempt to find the largest possible group of children, and draw their attention to himself. It will attempt everything to entertain the children and make them laugh. In the process, it will sing amusing children songs, give hugs, and utilize different items it can extract from its large black mouth, such as large amounts of confetti, streamers, several briefly alive balloon animals, instruments, various sweets or small presents.7

It always seems friendly and cheerful while doing so, provided the children keep their manners accordingly. However, SCP-289-DE will also select children, who behave "evil" in his eyes. But the meaning of "evil" can be broadly diversified in the eyes of SCP-289-DE, and can include aggressive behavior towards him, attacks, insults directed at present children, bad mood, boredom or crying, screaming, or attempts to escape SCP-289-DE.

SCP-289-DE will then show his displeasure through his eyebrows, followed by an attempt to grab the affected child and push it directly in its mouth. Small children fully disappear in the process, while bigger children are first pushed half-way in its mouth, with their backbone and neck being fractured in a jerking movement, before being consumed wholly. Given that SCP-289-DE does not possess digestive organs, it is unknown what happens to the swallowed children bodies, or where they go. Should a person, 11 years or older, prove themselves to be "evil", for instance through disturbing SCP-289-DE while it entertains the children, or prevent the child consumption, SCP-289-DE will react with enormous strength. Once all disturbances have been taken care of, SCP-289-DE will attempt to continue its entertainment program, regardless of the present children reaction.

The "Happy Birthday" event terminates automatically once the festivity ends, or the minimum number of children is no longer present. If it is not contained before then, SCP-289-DE will dematerialize without a trace, and will not re-appear until the next "Happy Birthday" event.

Discovery: SCP-289-DE appeared on 14/06/2014 during a large children party in ██████ in Rhineland-Palatinate, where Agent Schilling was just in transit with her seven year old son in her free time. SCP-289-DE had just gathered a group of children around it, before it became aggressive and attacked several persons, including Agent Schilling's son. Agent Schilling was able to render SCP-289-DE harmless and alert an MTF unit nearby, who could transport SCP-298-DE to the nearest Foundation site. Class B amnestic treatment was administered to witnesses, with the incident being disguised as a gas cylinder explosion.

Open interview SCP-289-DE-01

Close addendum

Addendum SCP-289-DE-01: Interrogation of Agent Schilling

Interviewer: Dr. Männelein

Interviewee: Agent Schilling

Foreword: The Interview commenced on 21/06/2014, a week following the containment of SCP-289-DE. Due to her physical injuries and the traumatic events, Agent Schilling is still undergoing medical and psychological treatment.

<Begin Recording>

Agent Schilling is situated in her hospital bed, humming the melody SCP-289-DE repeatedly sang during the festival. Dr. Männelein sits across from her.

Schilling: Only me and you and Müller's goose… And who's in? Bazoo!

Dr. Männelein: Do you need one more moment, Agent Schilling?

Schilling: Oh, excuse me. No, it's all right. My mind slipped away again.

Dr. Männelein: Don't worry. We know what happened that day and that it can be quite traumatic. If you want to postpone the interview…

Schilling: Oh, no… No. I'm fine. I want to get this over with. It's my duty as an agent after all.

Dr. Männelein: Alright.

Dr. Männelein takes a look at his writing pad to take notes.

Dr. Männelein: Well, could you maybe tell me what happened at the 14/06?

Schilling: Yes, fine, all right. Like every year, I was at the anual city festival that day with Michael. You know, the ones where you can ride ponies, eat sausages, visit a few paint and craft booths and so on. Actually, it hadn't been any different from the usual. Well, except for that one thing…

Dr. Männelein: You mean SCP-289-DE?

Schilling: Exactly. He immediately caught my eye, though I first thought of it to be some student in a costume or something like that. I had to admit that the costume didn't look so cheap as was usually the case. But his shows were initially so… Well… He jumped around and sang simple songs, like really simple and stupid. „What's on your mind, and dangedind, who's your friend? Bazoo! Correct…“

Agent Schilling begins to humm the melody once more.

Dr. Männelein: Miss Schilling?

Schilling: Oh, please excuse me. I drifted off again. Anyways, he sang. As I said: Amateurish, but the children were happy.

Dr. Männelein: Had you noticed anything strange until then?

Schilling: Not really. Yes, maybe a little, if I think about it. A stereo was nowhere to be seen, but this goofy melody must have come from somewhere. And when he reached in his mouth, he hurled tons of confetti and streamers around. I already wondered where he stored all that stuff.

Dr. Männelein: What about Michael? Where was he? At your side?

Schilling: Michael…no, he thought this thing was really ugly, silly and stupid. I wanted to stop him, but he ran over and kicked its but.

Dr. Männelein: And then SCP-289-DE's attack occurred?

Agent Schilling sighs deeply and attempts to suppress her tears.

Schilling: Yes. This thing turned around and gave Michael an evil gaze. It screamed „You little killjoy“ and grabbed Michael. He screamed as it lifted him up, and led him to its mouth. Then, I realized something wasn't right, ran up to him and grabbed Michael by his legs. I tried to to drag him away, but it was too strong. I screamed and pulled, but this monster pushed my son into its mouth. Michael still wriggled and screamed, before I heard the cracking and his body weakly hang down. I cried out loud before it swallowed Michael completely.

Agent Schillig rests her hands on her face and begins to sob loudly.

Dr. Männelein: Should we pause the interview for the better?

Schilling: No. Please. (sniffles) I can handle this. I want to submit the report, whilst I'm still able to recall most of it.

Dr. Männelein: I don't mind. What happened afterwards?

Schilling: The other visitors looked at the thing in horror, and chaos erupted. Children ran around, screaming for their parents. This provoked SCP-289-DE even more, and it then chased other children. A few parents came running towards it and attempted to stop it, but they were too weak and this monster flailed wildly. Several persons flew around in a high arc under his anomalous strengths. And apparently hurt themselves pretty badly, from what I heard from them after their landing.

Dr. Männelein: Were you in possession of a weapon for self-protection? Did you use your service gun?

Schilling: Of course I did. I don't feel safe without it, ever since I started working for the Foundation. And I was really glad about it. I took my pistol and fired no less than five times at that thing. But he wouldn't tremble. The holes didn't even bleed, only some fur and wool flew around. It didn't even scream, instead his face just seemed grimmer… As I lowered my gaze shortly, I saw the wounds close like normal injuries, but significantly faster. Much faster. In this moment of surprise, it attacked and flung me away like a feather. I painfully landed at the barbecue next to the gas bottles. The beast pursued me, probably because I hurt it. Every one of my limbs was screaming, my head was pounding, and I heard an ominous hiss.

Dr. Männelein: From SCP-289-DE?

Schilling: No. From the gas bottles. It seemed one of them was loosened during my impact and gas leaked. Then I had an idea on how to stop this thing. I waited for it to come close enough. Then I ignited my lighter, threw it, and ran away as fast as possible. An explosion occurred. I was lucky to only have suffered a few bruises when the bottle exploded right in front of this [EXPLETIVE DELETED]'s face. I stood up and looked at it. It was on the floor, unconscious, and a huge chunk of the front was burned down. But it did not only smell like molten plastic or the same but also burnt flesh. And I saw the wounds slowly closing.

Dr. Männelein: And shortly thereafter, you called the MTF?

Schilling: Correct. They arrived with all their cars, stuffed the beast into a truck, amnestitized the visitors, and arranged the place to look like an actual gas explosion.

Dr. Männelein: I think that's enough for now. Thanks for your cooperation, Agent Schilling. If you still have questions or think of anything else…

Schilling: I have a question.

Dr. Männelein: Please go ahead.

Schilling: Has SCP-289-DE been contained at my current site?

Dr. Männelein: Yes, it was the closest site.

Schilling: I request to be transferred to another site.

Dr. Männelein: Well, I can ask site command if that's possible. May I ask why?

Schilling: Because I cannot guarantee that I won't be trying my best to kill this purple [EXPLETIVE DELETED] for what he did to me and my poor Michael.

<End Recording>

Remark: A motion was filed to transfer Agent Schilling to another place of work at the end of the interview. Following her recovery and psychological supervision, if necessary with an amnestic administration, she is to be transferred to Site-DE07.

Open interview SCP-289-DE-02

Close addendum

Addendum SCP-289-DE-02: Interrogating SCP-289-DE

Interviewer: Dr. Männelein

Interviewee: SCP-289-DE

Foreword: The interview took place on 12/07/2014. SCP-289-DE has been in its containment cell for one month, and got accustomed to its new environment, after requested furnishing has been provided. The interview commenced shortly before the first containment breach of SCP-289-DE.

<Begin Recording>

Dr Männelein: Hello SCP-289-DE.

SCP-289-DE: Es See Pee Two Aight Naine Deehee? Who has such a weird name? I'm the Great Bazoo, little Manny!

Dr. Männelein: That's your designation at our place… Wait, how do you know my name?

SCP-289-DE: Oh Manny! Of course I know the names of every kid and all my friends! You're my friend, right?

Dr. Männelein: If you behave, I could become that. But let's play something funny. I ask you questions and you answer.

SCP-289-DE: And if I do all that, you will party with me?

Dr. Männelein: I'll give it a thought.

SCP-289-DE: SUPPERDUPPAGROVYCOOL! Ok, let's start!

Dr. Männelein: Alright. What exactly are you?

SCP-289-DE: I already told you! I'm the Great Bazoo! I get all the children to laugh and sing, I bring fun and nice presents!

SCP-289-DE begins to sing.

SCP-289-DE: Jump like kangaroo and sing like cockatoo, who's your friend? BAZOO! Smack!

Dr. Männelein: No no, I mean who are you outside of your costume?

SCP-289-DE: Huh? I don't get the question. I am as I am. You are funny!

Dr. Männelein: Nevermind, let's continue. Why did you eat those children at the party?

SCP-289-DE: Ohhh, they were realllly bad! They wanted to ruin the birthday! They wanted to spoil the fun! Those oll dunderheads! No one destroys Bazoo's party! Evil kids don't get a party! They deserve to be punished!

Dr. Männelein: Don't you think directly eating them was an exaggeration?

SCP-289-DE: No. Why?

Dr. Männelein: I mean…

SCP-289-DE begins to slowly turn translucent in this moment.

Dr. Männelein: What… What is happening in there?

SCP-289-DE: Ohhh, I'm sorry. I would have liked to play longer, but the parents of the rosy little Cheyenne invited me to their birthday! I can't miss out on that! Goodbye! And remember: Stinky Pooh and I can't see you and who's gone? BAZOO! Exactly!

SCP-289-DE fully disappears at this moment.

Dr. Männelein: Oh damn it! Alarm! Containment breach!

<End Recording>

Afterword: Following the disappearance of SCP-289-DE, a containment breach was reported and an alarm was raised. The local MTF immediately began to search for SCP-289-DE, and discovered it at the five year old Cheyenne Müller's birthday party in ██████, who lived approximately 50 km from the site. The party proceeded without incidents and SCP-289-DE could be safely re-contained after the fact. The parents were questioned and stated to have received the number of SCP-289-DE-1 by the advertisement section of the ██████ evening paper. All participants were administered amnestics following the party's conclusion.

WARNING: Access to interview SCP-289-DE-α permitted only with the consent of the senior researcher!

Interview SCP-289-DE-α

Close document

Interview SCP-289-DE-α

Interviewer: Agent Bernfeld

Interviewee: Miss Gisela Dona

Foreword: Miss Gisela Dona reached out to the local police department in ██████ on the 15/08/2015, after she found an advertisement for SCP-289-DE-1 in the ██████████ mourning newspaper. She wanted to file a complaint and a court order against the advertisement's author, as the brand „The Great Bazoo“ is apparently in the possession of her son Martin, implying that she has legal rights to it. Miss Dona should be noted to have been clearly intoxicated at this juncture, and reacted aggressively to the questions of the present police officer, causing her to be sent to the drunk tank.

Agent Bernfeld, who worked undercover in the police department and possessed two years of experience with SCP-289-DE, contacted site ██-DE not far from the beat, before transferring the sobered Miss Dona to interrogation.

<Begin Log>

Bernfeld: Miss Dona, first of all, excuse the inconveniences we cause you.

Dona: The least you can do is to apologize, you [EXPLICIT DELETED]. Whoa, my head… Could I get a coffee? Or a cigarette?

Bernfeld: Smoking is prohibited in the entire building. You may get a coffee after the interrogation.

Dona: Bloody hell. I hope to at least get my cash as compensation, if I'm already kidnapped to this place, like some kind of damn hostage.

Bernfeld: Miss Dona, please focus on our conversation. The more you cooperate, the faster we get over this. We'll settle the rest later, ok?

Dona: All right. Then hurry up already, instead of talking gibberish.

Bernfeld: Well, then. You said that the character "Bazoo" is your son's property and he reserves all rights to it?

Dona: Yes, damn it! This creature is his invention! Here, take a look at this.

Miss Dona produces a sheet of paper from her purse, placing it in front of the agent. The drawing on the paper apparently shows SCP-289-DE, smiling at a birthday party with a flower in its hand, next to a jumping child (see the image attached to the file).

Dona: This drawing was made by my son three years ago! Three years before this fucking fraudster stole it! You can't tell me that's a coincidence, right?

Bernfeld: First of all, calm down. Maybe there's a completely logical explanation. Maybe that's your son or someone he works tog…

Dona: Martin has died two years ago!

Bernfeld: Oh, I… I'm sorry to hear that, Miss Dona. My sincere condolences.

Dona: Save yourself your false wining. No one cared about the death of Martin. He died a loser, exactly like his progenitor. He lived a loser and died a loser.

Bernfeld: What you are saying here is quite harsh, Miss Dona.

Dona: I don't care about what you think. You didn't know either of the two. And I'm here for the cash.

Bernfeld: Okay. Could you tell us more about your son, Miss Dona?

Dona: What is my son to you?

Bernfeld: Well, I just want to know what was the matter with your son. Then, I could maybe see what we can do about the money. But for this to happen I need to know more about him and "Bazoo".

Dona: My gosh, alright! The main thing is that I get the cash. What can I say? He has always been a bit… weird.

Bernfeld: What do you mean by that, Miss Dona?

Dona: Just weird! Probably inherited from his father, he also was this stupid.

Bernfeld: to himself I could think of other reasons…

Dona: What?

Bernfeld: Nothing. clears his throat What exactly happened to Martin and his father?

Dona: The father was a… Dunno… Artist or so. I didn't care. I was young, and had a huge career in front of me. And then he had a bun in the oven and „went to get cigarettes“, if you get what I mean.

Bernfeld: Yeah, right. Please tell me more about your son.

Dona: Martin? Martin was difficult. Never came in touch with anyone, never had any friends. Probably wasn't mentally, well … You know…

Miss Dona waves with her flat hand in front of her face.

Dona: Anyways, he was special. And stupid… like two short planks. He was certainly good at drawing, but wasn't of much use apart from that. Had to feed him all the time, from birth 'till his 34th birthday, because he couldn't get anything done. This was due to his "environment". He wanted to make kids laugh at all costs. Ohhhh… Yeah, sure, that sounds nice, but laughing kids won't fill your fucking pockets. But Martin fervently wanted to be the sole entertainer, like those strange mascots, you know, those who walk around as Mickey Mouse.

Bernfeld: I suppose he wanted to do it as „Bazoo“?

Dona: Yes, as this weird monster thingy or what it is supposed to represent. Came to his mind, he said. Was a great idea, he said. His environment, he said. My gosh, if his environment would have been to learn something useful and get the cash flowing housewards, than I'd shut my mouth. Instead, I had to chop potatoes day and night to ensure we had a roof over our heads and he had time and money for his stuff. But being a mother always punishes you, believe me!

Bernfeld: That sounds like it didn't quite work out in practice.

Dona: No… He was simply terribly bad. Totally embarrassing for me. Here, look at this.

Miss Dona once again reaches into her purse to retrieve an old polaroid photo, which she passes on to the agent. A lean man can be seen in the photo, estimated to be slightly over 30 years of age, wearing a self-sewn purple monster costume. Said costume on the photo looks only remotely like SCP-289-DE. It can be seen that it was sloppily sewn together from different purple fabrics, loosely hanging down from the skinny figure. The eyes consist of two inflated white balloons with big black painted pupils. One of the balloons had already visibly lost air. The young man's face looks from the monster's mouth, he laughs with a big smile, while playing on his ukulele.

Bernfeld: I may be permitted to remark your son does not really look like "Bazoo" here.

Dona: I know. But the boy believed it did. You must imagine he played music on the streets in this suit and scared the kids on the playgrounds. The people were already staring and thought of him to be some kind of pervert.

Bernfeld: Was he…

Dona: No! Definitively not! He never had a girlfriend as far as I know. He was way too dumb to [EXPLETIVE DELETED]. My Martin was certainly a lot, a loser, an idiot, and a waste, but no pervert! He just loved to be around children. But that was already enough for the neighbors to keep away from us.

Bernfeld: Please excuse the question. Let us proceed. What happened next?

Dona: Well, one day he came up with the idea to post ads. He could perform at birthdays. Perform for cash, can you imagine? He couldn't even play that weird guitar thing or do any magic tricks or anything else. But he wanted to perform! I could give this idea a laugh today, if it hadn't been enough to make you weep. You wouldn't believe how much of my money he threw out of the window. But someone actually called us once. Some guy wanted to throw a cheap birthday party for his son. I think the child's name was Kevin. Martin said I should absolutely come with him to support him. I didn't want to at first, but he insisted so much. Literally begged me. So I went to watch the misery unfold. And what is there more to say: A misery without equal! He stood there like the last nervous retard at the birthday in his stupid costume, danced around in front of the brats, more yelped than sang. The children booed him, a little girl even cried. As if that wasn't already the worst, the grumbling birthday child even went up to him and kicked Martin. Oh dear, then all hell broke loose.

Bernfeld: What happened?

Dona: Martin went totally mental, that happened! He screamed „You little crappy killjoy!“ He grabbed the boy and shook him through like a madman. All screamed against each other and the parents present tried to tear the boy away from him. Eventually, the father punched Martin in his face. Really bled. Kevin fell to the floor screaming and the father chased us from the premises. That was the most embarrassing moment of my life! It was so embarrassing! And Martin just whined around "Boohooo, I did not mean to, I didn't want to give him ouchie, I'm not evil, buhuuu…" The whole fucking time he just whined. Afterwards, I hoped so much that the whole crap with this stupid costume found its end, and he would learn something decent, something in a workshop or the sorts.

Bernfeld: Did he?

Dona: What do you think? Noo, of course not. He was just pretty pissed off due to Kevin's behavior, here, he drew this the following evening. Found it while clearing his room-

Miss Dona reaches into her purse once again to reveal another slip of paper with a drawing. It shows Bazoo eating a child, similar to how SCP-289-DE treats its victims. Next to it, it reads: "How Kevin's birthday took an unexpected twist. Kevin, 5, won't annoy anyone in the future."

Drawing submitted by Dona of her son.

Dona: He wanted to continue still, however. He still loved children! By then I had enough and kicked him out. For thirty years, I wretched my back to and he continues with his silly kid's stuff.

Bernfeld: Then… Then I don't quite get why you want the money now.

Dona: 'Cause it killed him in the end. Quite tragic.

Bernfeld: to himself Apparently less for you.

Dona: What was that?

Bernfeld: Nothing. Tell me what exactly happened.

Dona: He just continued. Played music on the streets, pursued the neighbor's children, tried to play with them. Oh well, but then someone apparently spread the rumor that Martin reportedly "loved children too much", if you understand. It was the father of this Kevin. He gathered a mob of people and chased Martin through half the city- At least that's what I heard.

Bernfeld: What happened next?

Dona: I'm not really sure. I only heard of it when I opened the newspaper in the afternoon. Went out with a guy the evening before and slept at his place until noon. In any case, the newspaper said the police found a burned corpse. I believe someone bushwhacked Martin there and punched him to death. He probably wore his costume when they doused him with gasoline and incinerated him. Supposedly, solely the burnt and molted costume and bones remained. No idea how this works, I'm no criminal medical examiner or something. But it apparently lacked something worth being buried.

Bernfeld: Why so?

Dona: Oh, you know, I asked when the burial would take place. Not that I really wanted to go there, but at least visit his grave from time to time. You have to keep your manners, after all. Then, they tell me in all seriousness that the remains spontaneously dissolved during autopsy! Just like that! How is that supposed to work? What a load of bollocks! I bet the father of this Kevin didn't want to go to prison, so he erased all the evidence to save his butt!

Bernfeld: Thanks, Miss Dona. That should suffice for now.

Dona: Whatever. When will I get my cash, damn it!

<Protocol End>

Afterword: Miss Dona was administered a class C amnestics after the conversation and sent home. The following request of Agent Bernfeld to incorporate Miss Dona as D-Class personnel was denied, with Agent Bernfeld being admonished to keep her neutrality.

SCP-289-DE was subsequently questioned about Martin and Gisela Dona, but stated to have never heard those names, before beginning to sing "Firstday is firstday, like in May!". Whether it genuinely did not know anything about it or was just pretending is unknown.

An investigation in the autopsy of ██████ yielded no results. According to the senior pathologist, the paperwork, Martin Dona's file, was replaced with wafer paper8 the day of his disappearance. Who is responsible could not be verified. The pathologists working there were also administered amnestics.

Addendum: Incident SCP-289-DE-1 on the 03/03/2020

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The following advertisement of SCP-289-DE-1 appeared in the ██████ evening newspaper:

"Hello dear parents,

Do you want to throw a bombastically colorful birthday party for you child and search for great entertainment he will never forget?

Then book "Great Bazoo" right now!

Bazoo will make every birthday a one-time and special moment with music, dancing, play and fun. Wait! Be it for old or young, for family festivals, the kindergarten, school classes, or in big parties! Bazoo will make everyone laugh!

Simply call under the number 01████████████ and book now the "Great Bazoo"!

And coming soon: The Bazoonettes! Book now!"

When SCP-289-DE was inquired about the "Bazoonettes", it refused to answer on the grounds of "not wanting to ruin the big surprise". Containment protocols were thereupon increased.

Footnotes

1. See Interview SCP-289-DE-α

2. Such as placing a trail of sweets, preferably fruit caramels.

3. Which would normally be impossible due to the fabric's texture.

4. However, it can still be immobilized by using sufficient firepower in case of need.

5. Whether theses are digested or what exactly occurs after the consumption of food is currently unknown due to a lacking digestive track.

6. However, this varies depending on the time the target date was arranged between the person and SCP-289-DE.

7. Objects created in this way show no anomalous properties, but SCP-289-DE's ability to fabricate them is currently not understood.

8. Effervescent wafer with grape flavor.