by fabula

Item №: SCP-3071

Object Class: Neutralised

Artistic representation of the banana.

Special Containment Procedures: Remains of SCP-3071 incinerated. Testing has concluded. Martha Langley’s pets, one cat and two ferrets, went into the possession of Site 126 security guard Michael Pearson, all since deceased.

Description: SCP-3071 was the materialisation of a non-anomalous Cavendish banana in the head of Martha Langley on March 23rd, 1987 at her home in Aberdeen, Scotland.

SCP-3071 resulted in the separation and ejection of most of Martha Langley’s brain tissue and skull. Fragments of both were found in adjacent spaces to the dining room SCP-3071 occurred in, and various stains were present on all walls and the ceiling. Martha Langley is thought to have died between 0 and 0.5 seconds after SCP-3071. The banana also exploded.

The Foundation was made aware of SCP-3071 after a suicide report and police intervention. A cause for SCP-3071 has never been identified, but multiple have been disproven including teleportation, manual insertion and the Warhol effect.

Addendum.3071.1: Testing Log

Test №: 1

Test: Teleportation of 50 successive Cavendish bananas into 50 D-Class personnel heads.

Result: Humans found uniquely susceptible to banana teleportation.

Test №: 2

Test: 50 Cavendish bananas shot by AR-15, one bullet each.

Result: No new information gained.

Test №: 3

Test: 7.3 kg sledgehammer applied on 50 Cavendish bananas.

Result: No new information gained.

Test №: 4

Test: 50 Cavendish bananas sliced into 1.5 cm wide units with a steak knife.

Result: No new information gained.

Test №: 5

Test: Teleportation of 50 successive D-Class personnel into 50 bananas.

Result: Bananas found uniquely susceptible to human teleportation.