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SCP-500-J: The Punch Line.

Author: JorgeMtzb

Special Thanks to: Everyone in the IRC chat and in this wonderful community.

JorgeMtzb

This is really dumb. Now, if you excuse me I'll be off laughing maniacally, enjoy! (Muahaha)

Item#: 500-J

Containment Class: safe

Secondary Class: none

Disruption Class: dark

Risk Class: notice

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-500-J is to be stored in a standard containment locker at Site-18. Access to SCP-500-J is restricted to Level 2 personnel and above.

Description: SCP-500-J is a paper document of A4 size, measuring 210x297mm and weighing 6 grams. Chemical analysis confirms its composition is consistent with standard paper production.

SCP-500-J’s anomalous properties manifest when individuals are exposed to a punch line printed on the surface of the document. The punch line occupies the majority of the document's area and is aligned centrally. When an individual observes SCP-500-J, they experience a range of emotional responses, including annoyance and frustration. These reactions are often accompanied by audible sighs and expressions of exasperation. The exact cause of these emotional responses is currently unknown, and they appear to be immediate upon seeing the document, with the intensity of the reaction varying among individuals. Efforts to neutralize or mitigate the emotional response have thus far been unsuccessful.

Testing Log - SCP-500-J

Foreword: All tests were identical: instructing the subjects to look at the contents of the document, with no further instructions. None of the subjects were informed on the anomalous properties of the item.

Test A

Subject
D-345

Results
Subject stares at SCP-500-J, looks upwards to Researcher Upkins and looks back down, emitting an audible sigh, then muttering "You gotta be kidding me. Really?"

Test B

Subject
D-658

Results
Subject grabs the paper, then chuckles slightly while tapping it lightly with his right hand. While still grinning, he looks up at Researcher Upkins before exclaiming "This is terrible. I hate it in here."

Test C

Subject
D-273

Results
Subject squints at SCP-500-J, exhales sharply, then asks "Why?…."

+See: Photograph of SCP-500-J – WARNING: Mild Cognitohazard present.

Acess Granted

Digitally scanned image of the contents printed on SCP-500-J, which prominently shows the punch line.

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