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SCP-XXXX-J: BALLS

Author: JorgeMtzb

JorgeMtzb

Hello, it is me! JorgeMtzb Here I come with another SCP, this time with a really dumb idea that my brain cooked up which I wanted to share with yall. Any discussion or criticism, likes and dislikes, they are all appreciated! Hope you enjoy it!

Item#: 719M4-J

Containment Class: euclid

Secondary Class: none

Disruption Class: ekhi

Risk Class: critical

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-719M4-J is to be contained within a standard humanoid containment chamber at all times. The chamber must be equipped with a soundproofing system to prevent SCP-719M4-J from verbally communicating with personnel or other SCP entities. All communication with SCP-719M4-J must be conducted in writing. Audio recordings of SCP-719M4-J are strictly prohibited.

Under no circumstances are personnel allowed to enter SCP-719M4-J's containment chamber without proper ear protection. Additionally, SCP-719M4-J's containment chamber must be inspected and maintained on a regular basis to ensure the soundproofing system is functioning properly.

Description: SCP-719M4-J resembles a male human in his late twenties with no discernible physical abnormalities. SCP-719M4-J possesses the anomalous ability to generate a lethal effect through the delivery of "Ligma" jokes. Ligma jokes are a form of humor that relies on the homophonic similarities between the words "Ligma" and "Lick my". Typically, the joke involves someone asking a question involving the word "Ligma", commonly as a reference to a fictional disease, in order to deceive or trick someone into mentioning or inquiring about the term. Upon the listener inquiring about the nature of "Ligma", the joke teller usually responds with the punchline "Ligma Balls" (Lick my balls), the humor deriving from the crude nature of the response.

Whenever SCP-719M4-J tells a Ligma joke and delivers the punchline, the recipient of the joke spontaneously passes away through varied, unusual means. The causes of death have seemingly no correlation to the joke and are often exceedingly bizarre or unconventional, often defying the laws of physics. Some victims have experienced heart attacks, strokes, sudden aneurysms, or severe allergic reactions, while others have undergone major bodily changes or have simply ceased to exist. SCP-719M4-J also possesses a potent memetic effect that compels individuals who hear its Ligma jokes to respond to them, regardless of their wishes or intentions. This mental compulsion has been observed to override even the strongest wills, rendering affected individuals unable to resist the impulse to engage with SCP-719M4-J's jokes. SCP-719M4-J has so far refused to provide any motive for the dissemination of the aforementioned jokes. Further research is required to establish the exact nature of these anomalous abilities.

Incident Log - SCP-719M4-J Containment Breaches:

SCPs involved: SCP-719M4-J, SCP-███

Date and Time: 2022-04-12T15:03Z

Location: Site-17

Foreword: Site-17 experienced a Containment Breach due to major structural damage and a power outage caused by SCP-███. This allowed SCP-719M4-J to breach containment. As foundation personnel evacuated, SCP-719M4-J remained in the hallways adjacent to its containment unit.

[BEGIN LOG]

SCP-719M4-J: (Approaching Agent Smith) Hey you! Have you ever heard of Ligma?

Agent Smith: No, what's Ligma? Wait, please don't-

SCP-719M4-J: Ligma balls.

Following this exchange, Agent Smith clutches his chest and immediately collapses into the floor. SCP-719M4-J walks towards him and observes his body for an extended period of time.

SCP-719M4-J: (Dabbing) Got 'em.

SCP-719M4-J turns his attention to the opposite end of the hallway, Dr. Pate is seen running away in a panicked manner.

SCP-719M4-J: It's so sad Dr. Bright died of Ligma.

Dr. Pate: (Stops in his tracks) Who the hell is Dr. Bright?

SCP-719M4-J: (Extending its arm towards Dr. Pate) Ligma balls.

Dr. Pate undergoes spontaneous combustion and disintegrates into a pile of ash. SCP-719M4-J begins calmly walking down the hallway. As SCP-719M4-J turns the corner, it encounters Researcher Johnson.

SCP-719M4-J: (Pointing at Researcher Johnson) Why did the Ligma cross the road?

Researcher Johnson: What's a Ligma? Oh dear, is it that thing Joe warned me about?

SCP-719M4-J: Lig- (Pauses for a moment)… Who's Joe?

[END LOG]

NOTICE FROM THE FOUNDATION RECORDS AND INFORMATION SECURITY ADMINISTRATION

SCP-719M4-J has been reclassified as Neutralized.

— Maria Jones, Director, RAISA

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