Item#: 6140-J

Containment Class: keter

Secondary Class: {$secondary-class}

Disruption Class: amida

Risk Class: critical

Special Containment Procedures: Joint Task Force Alpha-1773 ("Boston Tea Party") has been established in cooperation with the following organizations:

Global Occult Coalition

The Unusual Incident's Unit

The Abnormal Affairs Management 19th Bureau1

The Three Moons Initiative2

JTF-Alpha-1773 is tasked with defending SCP-6140-J-1. This includes the direct upkeep and maintenance of SCP-6140-J-1 along with the prevention of espionage and sabotage against the SCP-6140-J containment efforts.

Until containment is established or the Foundation falls, MTF-Nu-7 ("Hammer Down") has been folded into JTF-Alpha-1773 and placed under the direct oversight of O5-6. Foundation facilities in active areas are being evacuated and replaced with contingents of JTF-Alpha-1773, in accordance with Deployment Plan-6140.

Description: SCP-6140-J is the British Empire3, expected to fully materialize within consensus reality on October 1st, 2022. SCP-6140-J-1 is the thaumaturgically reinforced barrier holding SCP-6140-J within its current border.

Current territory in which SCP-6140-J is confined to. CAA September 7, 2022.

The Overseer Council has preemptively declared the event a UK-Class End of the World Scenario4.

Addendum 6140.1: Threat Assessment

A joint working group between the Department of Analytics and the Department of Applied Force produced a report outlining the primary dangers associated with a modern-day British Empire. It was based on information from archaeological findings, the study of English inscriptions and documents, and parastatistical data models.

Description
Threat
Notes

Ground Force
HIGH
Estimated active personnel of 25 million. Full access to modern equipment through extensive weapons manufacturing.

Air Force
UNKNOWN
Modern air force is expected but to what extent is unclear based on current data.

Navy
HIGH
Expected to possess a large naval force with several battleships, destroyers, and aircraft carriers due to SCP-6140-J's history as a conquering sea-faring nation.

Outside Alliances
LOW
No one likes them.

Infrastructure
HIGH
Several key installations in major trading and shipping routes would allow for efficient transportation of resources and manpower across continents.

Espionage
SEVERE
Prolific spy agency already confirmed to exist within SCP-6140-J and is expected to become a greater threat when SCP-6140-J is at full power.

Humanoid Modification
MEDIUM
All humans within SCP-6140-J are born with innate knowledge and proficiency in knife combat. Whether or not this is due to genetic modification or another anomalous property of SCP-6140-J is unknown.

Nuclear Weaponry
HIGH
British control of nuclear weapons and ICBMs for delivery is a certainty.

Biological Weaponry
HIGH
Historical records show highly-developed anomalous transfiguration abilities, possibility of plant or fungus-based contagion likely.5

Apex-tier Pluripotent Entity Collusion
SEVERE
The state religion enforces worship of Margaret Thatcher, a violent divine figure. An extant version of this group — known as the Conservative Party — has attempted to cause world-ending events on several occasions by summoning their deity.

Addendum 6140.2: Emerging threats from SCP-6140-J

Throughout the 19th and mid-20th centuries, the number of colonies under SCP-6140-J's control has reduced dramatically. SCP-6140-J-1 could theoretically be used to completely close into and eliminate SCP-6140-J but despite the aforementioned measures, the area occupied by SCP-6140-J has begun to stagnate after 1953. Furthermore, the area occupied by SCP-6140-J began to increase by approximately 12 square feet per year since 1980. The cause was determined to be the immense thaumaturgical mastery displayed by the rulers of SCP-6140-J. Should this trend continue, SCP-6140-J could re-manifest at its full power with every previous colony and their resources now under the rule of SCP-6140-J once again.

Furthermore, the weakening of SCP-6140-J has allowed citizens under its influence to escape its borders. As a result, many British "people" live among the civilian population of almost all major cities on earth.

Common features of undercover agents stemming from SCP-6140-J include:

A strange and incomprehensible dialect of English

Poor dental hygiene and disfigured teeth

Lack of/ reduced sensitivity in tastebuds

Aversion to correct units of measurement

Although distinct, many of these agents are able to mask these features through acting and cosmetic surgery, making them extremely difficult to identify at first glance. These agents have been involved in countless efforts to impede the containment of SCP-6140-J as well as the Foundation's goals as a whole. Throughout the 20th century, SCP-6140-J agents have orchestrated an unprecedented number of attacks on the world through colonization efforts, robbing historical artifacts and introducing local civilians to bland food.

Notably, the colonization efforts have forced the Foundation to expand the containment barrier to include additional landmasses in order to contain the spread of the British. These include the small Islands surrounding SCP-6140-J and the previously independent states of North Ireland and Gibraltar after being forcibly taken by SCP-6140-J.

As a result of the continuing global threat that SCP-6140-J represents, swift action had to be taken. The Overseer Council thus formed the alliance that lead to the formation of JTF-Alpha-1773 and approved OPERATION TUESDAY WATERBOTTLE6.

Addendum 6140.3: Inciting Incident

On September 8, 2022, OPERATION TUESDAY WATERBOTTLE commenced with the goal of assassinating the Current leader of SCP-6140-J, The All-Knowing Immortal Grand Apex Sorceress Queen Elizabeth II. Overwhelming evidence suggests that eliminating her will cease all resistance to the shrinking of the containment barrier. The timeline of the operation is as follows:

TIMELINE OF EVENTS

03:03: Strike teams arrive on the borders of SCP-6140-J by boat and proceed down River Thames until reaching London.

06:15: JTF-ALPHA-1773 dock under the Lambeth Bridge.

06:25: JTF-Alpha-1773 hides all vehicles and equipment before leaving.

08:00: The state-mandated Tommyinnit stream commences, forcing all citizens of SCP-6140-J to stay indoors. JTF-Alpha-1773 strike teams use this opportunity to proceed into Buckingham Palace undetected.

08:24: A law enforcement officer spots the strike teams and approaches them and it demands a "Loisence"7 for loitering in the streets. Team leader Captain Ammar Rican was prepared however and produces a counterfeit Loisence made by the Espionage Supply Department. The officer notices the illegitimacy of the Loisence but Captain Rican quickly presents a Counterfeit "Counterfeit Loisence" Loisence before it can report the situation.

The officer accepts this and allows the 50-man undercover strike team to proceed.

08:57: Strike team arrives at Buckingham Palace.

09:05: JTF-Alpha-1773 breaches the Buckingham Palace throne room where the Queen is located. The following is a transcript of the encounter:

BEGIN LOG

JTF-Alpha-1773 enters the throne room with Queen Elizabeth II sitting on the throne sipping tea.

Queen Elizabeth II: Ah, good evening gentlemen. I was expecting you Foundation folk to turn up soon.

Captain Rican: It's 9am you Anglo-Saxon Bitch.

Queen Elizabeth II: Is it? (short chuckle) Good heavens, with the weather these days, one cannot know the time without a good old grandfather clock.

Queen Elizabeth II looks out of the palace window and smiles. JTF-Alpha-1773 begins to ready their weapons and aim them at the Queen.

Captain Rican: Whatever. We have a mission to accomplish. MEN!

All members of the strike team armed with rifles, high-explosive ballistic weapons, and Arcane Wizardry prepare their weapons.

Queen Elizabeth II: Oh me oh my, settle down, settle down… no need to get ahead of ourselves.

Captain Rican: READY!

Queen Elizabeth II: I could have someone get food or perhaps biscuits? It is right around tea time after all.

Captain Rican: AIM!

Queen Elizabeth II: (sighs) Tea and crumpets it is…

Captain Rican: FIRE!

All agents fire upon the Queen for six seconds before pausing. The smoke and debris take several moments to dissipate before revealing an empty, albeit destroyed ornate throne. Panic quickly sets in among the soldiers as they look for their missing target.

Queen Elizabeth II instantly re-materializes behind Captain Rican. Just as quickly as she reappeared, she sent Captain Rican flying into the nearest wall with a spinning backfist. His men waste no time in responding to the threat and fire. There was no hesitation found within the hearts of these soldiers, only pure instinct hammered into them through rigorous training. The muzzle flashes from the gunfire lit up the room like a second sunrise, and shrapnel flew around the throneroom like a swarm of insects. All this was useless however, as the Queen stood calmly in the midst of all the violence within a barrier she manifested.

LITTLE TEAPOT SHORT AND STOUT she called this ability, allowing her to defend herself from almost any physical attack at the cost of her full concentration. This cost came pretty cheap at this moment as she waited for the sweet sound of an empty magazine.

click click click

There it is.

As the porcelain-colored barrier fades, a large British flag manifests behind the Queen's back almost blinding in its red, white, and blue radiance.

UNION JACK she shouts as 8 red and white tendrils shoot out in the 8 cardinal and ordinal directions, piercing anything they came into contact with. The 12 agents that were unfortunate enough to be in the way collapsed to the floor.

As the JTF begins to recuperate, The Queen levitates, eyes flickering red, white, and blue. She begins to speak.

Queen Elizabeth II: YOU BELLENDS. YOU BLOODY PILLOCKS. FUCKING WANKERS ALL YOU. Come to my ends innit? Try'na be rude to England yeah? PISSHOLE ALL YOU'S FUCKING YANKEES FUCK OUT ME BLOODY PALACE BEFORE I SMACK YOU CUNTS TO KINGDOM COME.

Despite the threats, JTF-Alpha-1773 remains steadfast and readjusts their aim. The troopers fire their Matadors, sending an explosive bombardment toward the elderly woman. She acknowledges that these toys were somewhat of a threat but quickly teleports out of the way to prepare her next attack.

CROWN JEWELS. Dozens of precious stones were thrown into the air, disconnecting themselves from the crown, almost floating in suspense for a second, before launching themselves to their intended targets. Dazzling annihilation filled the room as hundreds of magic gemstones pierced through the bodies of the soldiers over and over, until you could see the back of their skulls through what was left of their eyesockets. Needless to say, not many survived this attack and many would die on English soil very soon because of it. The various gemstones line up and take their place back on the crown, spotless. The Queen looks around at her latest work and sighs. She turns to sit back down on her throne before noticing the lone man standing above his fallen comrades, slowly regaining consciousness.

Captain Rican throws a haymaker at the Queen of England. Naturally, she catches it before it can make contact.

Queen Elizabeth II: Oho, jolly good show you pissy cunt. You're fucking mad wi' it I'll give you that.

Rican grins in a sign of both relief and mockery.

Captain Rican: Save it you tea-sipping hog. I can tell you're running out of juice from the slight tremble in your hand. You may be strong but you can't fight us at full power while preventing the conceptual idea of Britain from being erased. Plus, you're getting old, lady.

Queen Elizabeth II: Mans think he's fucking cheeky innit? You's got bare jokes e're blud, now come on I'll give you these hands then!

Captain Rican had no idea what she just said, but the battlefield spoke for itself. The Queen tossed his fist away and stepped back. She folds back her sleeves to prepare for hand-to-hand combat, revealing the words "Tea" tattooed onto her left fist and "Crumpets" tattooed onto the right. Rican tightens his stance to prepare for the incoming assault and The Queen responds in kind.

TESCO MEAL DEAL. It was as if all light surrounding the Queen was sucked into her body, condensing into her material form. After converting her magical energy into physical energy, she pounces forward toward the lone soldier with incredible speed. Rican raises his arms to defend himself from the flying punch but it never came. The Queen suddenly planted her left foot into the wooden floorboards mid-leap, halting her movement and transferring the momentum into her right foot to deliver a crescent kick aimed directly at his head. Rican dropped to the ground just in time as he felt the air pressure from that blur of a leg zip past his face. He got up to counterattack with a rising uppercut, and squares The Queen of England straight in the jaw. The first bit of damage she had taken thus far.

Captain Rican just became one of the few people in the world to punch a member of the royal family, but The Queen wasn't going to let him live to tell the tale. She returned the gesture with ten more punches straight into Rican's upper body as he tried to follow up his last hit. He blocked the stray fist here and there but the damage was becoming overwhelming. Rican needed a way out.

For a few precious seconds, the assault on Rican's body ceased so The Queen could put her back into the next attack. Rican did not waste this opportunity as he prepared himself. The Queen assumed a proper stance, steadied her body, and reeled her fist back. You could almost get sentimental about the human muscular system with this display of power. The muscles in her legs, arms, hips, and back interlocked in one fluid motion, tightening and focusing the kinetic energy within them into a forward strike powerful enough to break a man in half.

The punch, a real punch, was released as a devastating right cross. But unlike last time, Rican had no intention of dodging this blow. He braced himself and caught the punch, using his enemy's own momentum against her and throwing her over his shoulder. She is slammed down onto the floor with a CRACK coming from the floorboards.

The Queen was stunned that someone would dare bring her to the ground like this, but didn't have time to indulge in the rage she felt as Rican threw a stun grenade directly at her face. As British people have never encountered direct sunlight, this was particularly disastrous to her eyes. She screams several colonial-era racial slurs as her eyeballs slowly regenerate and she desperately, but blindly looks around to find her assailant. By the time she regained the use of her eyes, it was already too late.

Captain Ammar Rican had already picked up one of the Matadors from his dead comrade and loaded it with the HEAM8 warhead. All he had to do was pull the trigger.

Rican's life flashed before him. He remembered his parents who were tortured and killed by British "people" when he was but a child. He found them dead, stabbed to death with a Greggs Sausage roll.

Rican's body was in pain and it screamed but Rican's spirit screamed louder and it screamed GO.

Captain Rican: God Bless America bitch.

He pulls the trigger delivering almost 6 pounds of explosive payload straight into The Queen of England.

She did not have time to react as the projectile makes a direct impact, sending the Queen flying to the opposite side of the room, crashing through the throne in the process. As the HEAM explosive burns her physical form and the conceptual idea of a monarch within her, she weakens, and the barrier surrounding the UK begins to close.

Rican lay down on the floor, tired and dying. The internal damage from being flung into the wall and being pummeled was too much for the mere human to handle. He could feel his vision fading, his lungs giving way, and the strength leaving his body. He lay there, content with what he had accomplished. His impending demise only an inconvenience. But as long as the world could wake up and never need to see beans on toast ever again, that was enough.

If only life were that simple.

END LOG

09:12: Queen Elizabeth II is defeated.

09:13: Queen Elizabeth II's lower body is seen disintegrating due to the HEAM warhead. She appears extremely distressed and attempts to cast healing incantations on herself. SCP-6140-J-1 is noted to move 12 feet inland simultaneously.

09:15: She loudly vocalizes and reportedly transmitted the following to all citizens of SCP-6140-J within and outside its borders telepathically:

"PEOPLE OF GREAT BRITAIN, THIS IS THE LAST OF MY HAMON! TAKE IT!"

09:15: The Queen begins to glow bright yellow while releasing unknown amounts of energy, heat, and Akiva radiation. Her body is observed to atomize after this action.

Simultaneously, all citizens of SCP-6140-J within and outside its borders begin to similarly glow as well as levitate 2 meters9 6.56168 feet in the air while chanting an unknown arcane spell.

Immediately after this event, SCP-6140-J-1 along with all Type Blue personnel tasked with maintaining it disintegrated into fine tea powder. This caused the containment failure of SCP-6140-J with no possible method of re-establishing containment before the imminent UK-Class End of The World Scenario.

Addendum 6140.3: Foundation Briefing

The following bulletin was sent to all Foundation personnel to brief them on the impending expansion of SCP-6140-J to consume baseline reality.

FROM: o5-1@foundation.scp

TO: LISTSERV[ALL-STAFF]

SUBJECT: Impending UK-Class Scenario — British Empire

DATE: 09-SEP-2022

To all members of the Foundation,

In three weeks time, there will be a UK-Class Scenario of unprecedented magnitude. On September 8th, 2022, we killed Queen Elizabeth II which caused the United Kingdom to breach containment and manifest in present, consensus reality. The prevailing theory suggests that SCP-6140-J will fully manifest at its peak strength with all conquered states regained before Foundation interference.

All existing exploratory research projects are suspended. All non-essential containment work is suspended. Sites have been assigned specific tasks to protect as much of humanity as possible. Expect a bulletin detailing your new priorities.

On October 1st, 2022, all essential personnel will be moved to reality-anchored sites to provide immunity to the UK-Class Scenario. Engineering teams have been hard at work in manufacturing additional reality anchors to preserve as many Foundation personnel as possible. However, it seems that other Groups of Interest have had similar ideas. The components for said anchors have become extremely scarce as members of the wider anomalous world are trying to protect themselves from the inevitable re-manifestation of Britain. Personally, I had to bludgeon an MC&D-employed Silverback Gorilla with a golf club to fix the reality anchor in my office.

We will survive the re-appearance of the British Empire. Regardless of what happens on October 4th, 2022, normalcy will be protected. The consensus will be maintained. We will not be eating beans on fucking toast for breakfast.

From the desk of O5-1,

Secure, Contain, Protect.

ALERT. BREACH HAS BEGUN.