This Fourth of July, pick up a brand new Chrysler, Dodge, Jeep or RAM vehicle at no cost! That's right, no cost!

SCP-5384: Everybody Gets A Car!

Word Count: 5.7k

Reading Time: 21 minutes

Item #: SCP-5384
Level 3/5384

Object Class: Euclid
Classified

A social media advertisement for SCP-5384-A.

Assigned Site
Site Director
Research Head
Assigned Task Force

Site-48
Dir. Linda Lutz
Rs. Naomi Bradley
MTF E-33 "Ford Pintos"

SCP-5384.

Special Containment Procedures: Due to the events of September 2, 2015, Foundation agents embedded in the automotive industry are to monitor for signs of SCP-5384's influence. In the event that SCP-5384 is rediscovered, it is to be contained in a standard humanoid chamber at Site-48. Public knowledge regarding SCP-5384 is to be suppressed by Foundation webcrawlers.

SCP-5384-A is to be dismantled with a Foundation-front business constructed on the vacated land.

Civilians who have already received vehicles from SCP-5384 are to be identified and amnesticized of knowledge regarding the anomaly. Such individuals are permitted to keep their vehicles following initiation of auto loans through Foundation-front companies.

Description: SCP-5384 refers to an adult male human with the given name "Larry Matkins". It is the sole proprietor of SCP-5384-A: the Matkins Chrysler Dodge Jeep Ram automotive dealership in San Joaquin, California, USA.

SCP-5384 possesses the ability to manipulate corporate bureaucratic structures through unknown means, bypassing all legal procedures and prerequisites. Its alterations are legally recognized and honored by all involved parties; whether this is due to a compulsive effect or a natural inclination by those involved to obey recognized legalities is uncertain.

SCP-5384 is believed to possess a secondary anomalous ability to collect information regarding classified organizations behind the Veil. SCP-5384 has only used this ability to contact the Foundation; inquiry into this ability has been denied due to risk of an informational breach.

SCP-5384 has used its abilities to legally require Fiat-Chrysler Automobiles1 to allocate new motor vehicles to SCP-5384-A without any form of payment. SCP-5384 freely distributes these vehicles at no cost to any individual who solicits it; applicable initial registration, sales, and gift taxes are paid by SCP-5384 on behalf of the customer.2

Vehicles distributed by SCP-5384 do not possess anomalous properties. Individuals are not under any compulsion to accept a vehicle from SCP-5384; many civilians naturally accepted the offer due to the financial advantage of receiving a free car.

Addendum 01: SCP-5384 was discovered by the Foundation in June 2015 when routine social media surveillance revealed widely distributed advertisements promoting SCP-5384-A. Most commercials featured SCP-5384 exclaiming to the screen regarding its "Special Unlimited Time Offers!" for "The Hottest New American Cars and Trucks!".

Notably, civilian discourse was initially skeptical of the validity of SCP-5384, until individuals who visited it out of curiosity confirmed the anomaly to the public. An agent from Site-48 was dispatched to determine if SCP-5384 possessed anomalous properties or was simply an exceedingly generous, non-anomalous individual.

Agent Choudhury in plainclothes.

Transcript 5384-1

Personnel Present: Agent Charles Choudhury

Subject: SCP-5384

Location: SCP-5384-A

Date: July 4, 2015

<Begin Log>

Agent Choudhury drives onto SCP-5384-A's front lot in his Foundation-issued Mitsubishi Galant. He exits the vehicle and begins to traverse the lot on foot, observing the large amounts of new automobiles on display. He eventually spots SCP-5384 speaking to two civilians.

SCP-5384: <to the civilians> …this Fourth of July sale will last indefinitely! Just come back anytime if you change your mind!

The civilians nod their heads, thank SCP-5384, and walk away. SCP-5384 turns around to face Agent Choudhury.

SCP-5384: Oh, hello sir! My name is Lawrence Ignacio Matkins, or "Larry" for short. What's yours?

Choudhury: Um… it's Charles… Choudhury.

SCP-5384: What kind of transportation are you looking for, Charles? We've got a fresh shipment of Chargers, with the factory plastic on the seats and the bumper guards on! Or maybe you're into trucks instead?

Choudhury: I'm not interested in your cars, Mr. Matkins. I'd just like to ask some questions about who you are and the business you run.

SCP-5384: But of course! I'm always happy to talk about what I do. Say Charles, why don't we get a little exercise outside, walk around the lot so you can choose the Dodge of your dreams? Let me show you around!

The two begin to walk around SCP-5384-A.

Choudhury: So Mr. Matkins, how long have you been in business?

SCP-5384: Well, I'mma be honest Charles, I've just opened up last month. But I've been with Chrysler- sorry, Fiat-Chrysler as they're known now, for my entire career.

Choudhury: When did you start working for the company?

SCP-5384: Since the 80s. Graduated high school in '76, moved to the Midwest for college, and started out scrubbing toilets in AMC's Kenosha plant in Wisconsin. Then Chrysler bought AMC and it was all up from there. I even managed an entire design team at one point.

Choudhury: And now you get to run your own dealership?

SCP-5384: Yep! Moved back here, mostly to keep my distance from the company execs. They're… quite some people to deal with. How about you, Charles? Where are you from?

Choudhury: Bangladesh. Moved to the US about ten years ago for… work.

SCP-5384: How are you liking America, Charles?

Choudhury: There's certainly a lot more space for everyone.

SCP-5384: True, America is unique in our access to larger, more powerful cars. That's another reason why I stuck with Mopar,3 no one else on the market offers a V8 powered sedan quite like these 300s!

SCP-5384 gestures toward a lineup of Chrysler 300Cs.

Choudhury: That brings me to my next point, Mr. Matkins. Why are you giving away free cars?

SCP-5384: Well, I'm just trying to do something good for the community.

Choudhury: So you give away cars out of generosity? Where does the money come from? What's the business strategy behind it all?

SCP-5384: There's more to life than money, Charles. I love to make people jump for joy when I hand them the keys to their new car, no strings attached! Of course, they're always skeptical at first, looking at me with distrustful eyes. But as I show them my lack of clauses, red tape, and monthly payments, their eyes slowly light up with delight. That's what keeps me going, Charles.

Agent Choudhury glances at a red pickup truck on the lot as the two walk past it.

SCP-5384: Oh, It seems like we've found the truck for you! I'll let you drive off in this brand new Ram 1500 Laramie Crew Cab in Deep Cherry Pearl today!

Choudhury: Sir, as I've said, I'm not here to buy this truck, or any truck for that matter. I already have a car.

SCP-5384: Don't worry, you can keep your old Mitsubishi, no trade-ins necessary! Did you know that Dodge and Mitsubishi used to be business partners back in the 80s? It's true!

Choudhury: That's a company car anyway, it doesn't belong to me.

SCP-5384: Well, what company do you work for? I'll give them an entire fleet of vans, trucks, and SUVs when I get the chance!

Choudhury: Um… they don't need any fleet cars.

SCP-5384: Well, when they do, make sure to let them know about me, I'll hook them up! Speaking of hooking up, let's talk more about your new Ram in my office.

Choudhury: Sir, as I've said, I'm not-

SCP-5384: It's only a fifteen to thirty minute consultation, no strings attached, no obligations! You can walk out at any point you'd like!

At this point, Mission Control requests Agent Choudhury through his earpiece to oblige SCP-5384 in its request for the purpose of experimentation.

Choudhury: Hmm… I guess I've got time.

[EXTRANEOUS DATA OMITTED]

Agent Choudhury is seated with SCP-5384 in the latter's office. SCP-5384 presents some documents to Agent Choudhury.4

SCP-5384: So here are the papers the DMV requires me to show you before you can drive off in your new Ram 1500! Of course, I will pay your sales tax and initial registration fee, although next year's registration is up to you! Oh, I'll also need you to write down your insurance details, don't worry, first year's on me as well!

Choudhury: I still don't understand why you're giving away brand new cars. Does the manufacturer allow you to do so?

SCP-5384: Well, we had our… disagreements, but eventually I figured out how to get them on my side.

Choudhury: How exactly were you able to convince them?

SCP-5384 hesitates.

SCP-5384: It's… kind of a long story. Enough talking about me, I wouldn't want to bore you, after all. Let's focus on signing off on your new RAM!

Mission Control instructs Agent Choudhury not to sign any documents, and to begin attempts to end the interview.

Choudhury: Um… I'm not ready to sign just yet. I need to talk with… my wife? About the truck?

SCP-5384: You're married? I didn't see a ring.

Choudhury: It's… we don't wear wedding rings where I'm from.

SCP-5384: My bad Charles, I meant no offense. Bring the missus here and I'll show her that not only am I legitimate, but I'll give her a brand new car as well!

Choudhury: Would it be fine with you if I took these documents with me?

SCP-5384: Well, of course! Get your lawyer to look at them as well, they'll find no clauses, no catches! You can bring them here as well, I'll give them a car too!

Agent Choudhury stands up and grabs the papers.

Choudhury: Thank you for the offer, Mr. Matkins, but I need to get going.

SCP-5384: Don't worry about rushing, this is an unlimited time offer! I'll reserve that truck just for you, Charles. Just come by anytime and claim it!

Choudhury: Are you sure you'll remember who I am?

SCP-5384: Of course, Charles! In my three decades at Chrysler, I've never forgotten a face.

Agent Choudhury nods his head and exits SCP-5384's office.

<End Log>

The documents provided to Agent Choudhury were examined by Foundation legal experts. No clauses specifying deferred payments, soul transfers, or other esoteric payment methods were ascertained.

Initial investigation into SCP-5384's operations revealed its anomalous alterations to Fiat-Chrysler's distribution dynamics; recovered documents also suggested that it has always been designed to only supply SCP-5384 with vehicles. Civilian distribution personnel interviewed expressed confusion regarding these alterations, but still chose to obey them.

Due to these qualities, SCP-5384 was assigned SCP classification on July 6, 2015. Investigation to identify all civilians who have received vehicles from SCP-5384 began, with standard social media expungement enacted. Preparations began to detain SCP-5384 at Site-48 for further inquiry.

Document 5384-1

Addendum 02: On July 7, 2015, SCP-5384 infiltrated Site-48's internal communications network with an image, designated Document 5384-1, in an attempt to contact Agent Choudhury. An informational breach was declared, and Foundation agents were dispatched to SCP-5384-A to detain SCP-5384 and transport it to containment.

During detainment, SCP-5384 attempted to resist by verbally expressing its disapproval; it was otherwise contained successfully. Foundation agents successfully constructed a perimeter fence around SCP-5384-A, with all remaining vehicles seized for reallocation to other dealerships.

An interview was conducted following initial containment; Agent Choudhury was selected due to his prior experience with SCP-5384.

Transcript 5384-2

Personnel Present: Agent Charles Choudhury

Subject: SCP-5384

Location: Site-48

Date: July 7, 2015

<Begin Log>

Agent Choudhury enters the containment chamber. SCP-5384 is seated at the table, and stands up to greet Agent Choudhury.

SCP-5384: Hello, Charles! Are you ready to pick up your new pickup?

Choudhury: Actually, Mr. Matkins… er, are you okay with being called "SCP-5384" from now on?

SCP-5384: Interesting, that's what the others started calling me too! I'm not sure why you guys want to call me by a license plate number?

Choudhury: It's a formality.

SCP-5384: Speaking of which, I unfortunately can't give you your new truck while I'm stuck here. I tried to explain that to the others, but uh… they didn't seem to hear me. Would you be willing to explain to them why I can't-

Choudhury: SCP-5384, I'm not interested in your offer. I'm just here to ask some more questions.

SCP-5384: Um… what's this about?

Choudhury: First question: how did you manipulate the logistics of Fiat-Chrysler to supply cars to your dealership?

SCP-5384: What's that supposed to mean? I went through the typical dealer application process.

Choudhury: That's not what we found. Apparently, only your dealership has been retroactively allocated shipments of cars, leaving out all the other locations. There's also a lot of discrepancies regarding who's supposed to be in charge of what at the headquarters.

SCP-5384: Oh, was that me?

Choudhury: Sir, how did you figure out how to change Chrysler's legalities? Was it a difficult process?

SCP-5384 scoffs.

SCP-5384: Charles, it's not that hard to figure out when you've worked somewhere for three decades. Eventually you'll learn how to navigate the company's red tape.

Choudhury: Could you elaborate?

SCP-5384: I figured out that there were… bits in their structure, in the legalities… that didn't quite fit together. One day, it all clicked together in my mind, I realized how to change it by myself without anyone else noticing. Honestly… once I figured it out, I felt a little silly because the answer was right in front of me this entire time. All I needed to do was, firstly, to… um…

SCP-5384 pauses.

SCP-5384: No… I said too much.

Choudhury: Don't worry, I'm listening. Please continue.

SCP-5384: Your… your group is trying to undo all my work! You're shutting down my dealership!

Choudhury: Well… yes. Why'd you think we brought you here?

SCP-5384: All I did was give away free cars. What exactly is wrong with that? Explain to me why I shouldn't be allowed to continue.

Choudhury: You managed to manipulate an entire company's structure without going through the required legal process. Additionally, you managed to contact our organization, even though we're not supposed to be publicly known.

SCP-5384: I looked in the phone book.

Choudhury: Right… could you elaborate?

SCP-5384: Charles, I have done nothing wrong. You'll find that my business is perfectly legal, thank you very much. By attempting to destroy it, your group is acting illegally and that is something I will not stand for.

Choudhury: SCP-5384, we are taking the steps to correct the situation because of your anomalous influence. If you refuse to tell me or anyone else how you managed to change Chrysler's bureaucracy, then I cannot continue this interaction further.

SCP-5384: Charles, what do you mean "anomalous"? Is that why you keep-

Choudhury: Refusing your offer, yes. I'm not allowed to take concessions from SCP anomalies like you, it'd be a conflict of interest.

SCP-5384: I didn't mean it as a bribe, Charles. And I find your labeling of me as an "anomaly" with a license plate number as rather insulting.

Choudhury: Once again sir, if you won't tell me how you changed Chrysler, I cannot continue this conversation.

SCP-5384: Alright, then. I don't want to talk further as well. Goodbye, Charles.

SCP-5384 turns to face away from Agent Choudhury. The latter proceeds to exit the room, sealing the door behind him.

<End Log>

Analysis of SCP-5384-A sales documents were completed soon after; an estimated 650 vehicles were given away at no cost. Mobile Task Force Epsilon-33 ("Ford Pintos") was dispatched on July 9, 2015 to apprehend recipients for amnestization and initiation of standard auto loans.

SCP-5384's claimed method of contacting Site-48 through a telephone directory was partially substantiated, as a number of Foundation-front companies were indeed listed in public directories. However, its process of infiltrating Site-48's communications using only such information could not be replicated.

Addendum 03: In-depth analysis of Fiat-Chrysler's altered dynamics revealed the extent of SCP-5384's abilities. It was found responsible for having altered the company's structure to remove any executive power from specific company officers, to prevent them from taking internal actions against SCP-5384 and its business strategy.

Additionally, government records regarding the automaker have been similarly modified; no record of any individual amending these documents were recovered. The accounting system had also been altered, with many low-level employees receiving increases in salary at the expense of the company executives.

On July 10, 2015, the Foundation Department of Legalities began Operation 5384-MONRONEY to draft a new article of incorporation officially restoring Fiat-Chrysler's former structure.

The following interview was conducted with one of the company officers whose executive power was removed by SCP-5384.

Martin Strandberg.

Transcript 5384-3

Personnel Involved: Researcher Naomi Bradley

Subject: Former Fiat-Chrysler Chief Operational Officer Martin Strandberg

Location: Chrysler World Headquarters and Technology Center, Auburn Hills, Michigan, USA

Date: July 10, 2015

<Begin Log>

Researcher Bradley enters Strandberg's office, who is seated at his desk.

Strandberg: Oh, you're the lady from the Society of Corporate Productivity?

Bradley: Correct, my name is Naomi Bradley, mid-level analyst. You are Martin Strandberg?

Strandberg: Yes. We both know why you're here, there's been a terrible mistake… rather, some form of espionage. Tried to call our legal team as soon as I found out, only to learn that they've been disbanded without me knowing.

Bradley: It's a good thing we're here to help your company get back on track.

Strandberg: Yes… have you found out who's behind the attack?

Bradley: Do you know anything about a… "Lawrence Matkins"?

Strandberg: Him? It was him?!

Strandberg gets up from his chair and begins to pace around his office.

Strandberg: I can't believe this. How did he do it? How was he able to… how could he do this to us?

Bradley: Sir, I'd like to know about Matkins' history with your company. It could help us decipher his modus operandi.

Strandberg ceases pacing around and faces Researcher Bradley.

Strandberg: Matkins was a busybody who kept complaining about every single decision the board made that he didn't like. He failed to understand why we made the decisions we did. A couple of times, he tried to argue with the CEO directly… back when we had a CEO position, but it seems like he's taken that away from us.

Bradley: We did a quick audit of the company's digital records; none of them mention a CEO position anymore. In fact, some of them state that Lee Iacocca was a janitor at a plant in Wisconsin.

Strandberg: But our physical paper records should have all the correct info, right?

Bradley: Our team is still filing through it all, but a lot of-

Strandberg: A lot of them were digitized to save money, that's right…

Strandberg groans and puts his hands against his face in frustration.

Bradley: Was Matkins ever let go from his position at any point?

Strandberg: Well… I think he was popular with a lot of the lower-ranking employees, so when we'd threaten to fire him, he'd go out and make a hubbub about it to everyone, the workers would complain, and eventually HR would override us. Or…

Bradley: Maybe he'd already figured out a loophole to keep his job?

Strandberg: Perhaps. I knew we should've looked into how he kept sticking around, but… well, we had other things to do. Besides, Matkins was just one voice in a crowd, he never had that much power over anything important… until now.

Bradley: I see, the responsibility of the investigation fell into the cracks of the company's dynamic.

Strandberg: Right. It's just… you know how big companies like ours have a lot of moving parts?

Bradley: Of course, it gets so big that no one has a complete grasp on how it all fits together, letting inefficiencies and dissenters hide under the radar.

Strandberg: Exactly! It's impressive that Matkins managed to change so much, because it would've required him to understand the entire thing before making any changes. Then again…

Bradley: What's that?

Strandberg: That man never seemed to forget anything we did that he hated… I guess his understanding of the company accumulated over time.

Bradley: I'm sure he learned over the years.

A short silence.

Bradley: There's something I wanted to mention, Mr. Strandberg. It's interesting that you and your personnel seem to respect these changes, even though they were done without anyone's permission.

Strandberg: What were we supposed to do? Matkins went out of his way to tamper with the incorporation article at the Secretary of State. I can't just disobey the new rules, that'd still be an offense.

Bradley: Who would care?

Strandberg: It's… just about the principle of the thing. Even when the board and I made decisions that Matkins didn't like, we still followed the company's rules and regulations. Matkins wanted to subvert those rules to the point of changing them himself. Subverting the new rules would… make us just as bad as Matkins.

Bradley: It's not the time to stick to principles, Mr. Strandberg.

Strandberg: Well… they're still something I'm proud of, and I wouldn't want to throw them out just because a man with a grudge wants us to. When something hits the fan, how you behave is all that's left, and I'd rather not stoop low like Matkins did.

Bradley: I understand. It's nice to see businessmen who choose to play by the rules, even if they change.

Strandberg: Thank you, Miss…

Bradley: Mrs. Bradley.

Strandberg: Yes, Mrs. Bradley.

A short silence.

Strandberg: There's still the how that's missing.

Bradley: The "how" might not actually matter in the end. What matters is fixing the damage that's been done.

Strandberg: What if he comes back?

Bradley: Matkins has been arrested in California on charges of corporate espionage, so he's fully out of the picture.

Strandberg sighs in relief.

Strandberg: What was he doing in California, anyway? Do you know?

Bradley: He… opened a dealership to give away your products for free.

Strandberg stares at Bradley.

Strandberg: That's… that's it?

Bradley: As far as we know Mr. Strandberg, that's what he's been up to so far.

Strandberg: He thinks he's Oprah or something? Went behind our backs to change everything just so he can give away our cars for free?

Bradley: We're still looking into his exact motives.

Strandberg sighs again.

Strandberg: If all he wanted was to give away free cars, then why would he go through the trouble of editing our history?

Bradley: Perhaps he wanted to demonstrate his abilities… just because?

Strandberg: No… he wanted to mock us. Why else would he make Iacocca a janitor? He wanted to make fun of us while delaying our efforts to stop him.

Bradley: Speaking of stopping him, due to the mess he's left, our current proposition is to… well, start all over.

Strandberg: Incorporate a new replacement Fiat-Chrysler?

Bradley: Correct. Our team is actually drafting the replacement article of incorporation right now.

Strandberg: Wait, really? Where are they?

Bradley: I'll lead you to them, Mr. Strandberg. Follow me.

The two begin to walk out of the office.

Strandberg: Gotta make sure to make myself the new CEO…

The two exit Strandberg's office. Researcher Bradley closes the door behind them.

<End Log>

On July 14, 2015, the schematics for Operation 5384-MONRONEY were fully drafted, and implementation efforts officially began. The project involved civilian employees of the automaker, who will be amnesticized following its completion.

Addendum 04: Due to SCP-5384's involvement in Fiat-Chrysler, its cooperation was required to complete Operation 5384-MONRONEY. Its signature was required on the new article of incorporation drafted for the automaker due to a legal technicality.

An interview was scheduled to coerce SCP-5384 into giving its signature for Operation 5384-MONRONEY. Agent Choudhury was selected once again to perform this interview.

Transcript 5384-4

Personnel Involved: Agent Charles Choudhury

Subject: SCP-5384

Location: Site-48

Date: July 18, 2015

<Begin Log>

SCP-5384 is in its containment chamber, sitting in a chair facing the wall and away from the door. Agent Choudhury enters with the requisite legal documents for SCP-5384 to sign.

Choudhury: SCP-5384?

SCP-5384 continues to face the wall.

SCP-5384: Hello, Charles. It's nice to see you again. Have you decided to take my offer?

Choudhury: As I've said before, I'm not interested. I'm just checking in on you as a formality.

SCP-5384 does not respond.

Choudhury: We just have a little something we need you to sign.

SCP-5384 turns around to face Agent Choudhury.

SCP-5384: Is that- are those the new…

Choudhury: They're just some legal papers about your containment here. Nothing special, they're just… um…

SCP-5384: Wait a minute… are you trying to write a new corporate charter for Chrysler?

Choudhury: Our group is writing the charter, yes. But we need your signature since you're still-

SCP-5384: My answer is "no", Charles.

Choudhury: Um… 5384, you don't have a choice. We cannot let you leave our custody until you sign this paper.

SCP-5384: Well… my answer is still "no". Goodbye, Charles.

SCP-5384 turns around to face the wall. Agent Choudhury looks down at the papers in his hands and fidgets with them.

Choudhury: It was quite a challenge to examine everything, sir. You tied up a lot of things. No one on the board of directors has any voting power, the CEO position doesn't exist, and one of the secretaries now makes $5.7 million a year.

SCP-5384: That secretary deserves every penny, he's been with Chrysler just as long as me.

Choudhury: We've… also spoken to a few executives at the company about you. Do you know a "Martin Strandberg"?

SCP-5384 turns around again, facing Agent Choudhury.

SCP-5384: Don't listen to Martin. Don't listen to anything he says.

Choudhury: You had many disagreements with the executives, even though you were… lower on the totem pole?

SCP-5384: They weren't "disagreements", it was more like me bringing up an issue and them telling me to shut up about it.

Choudhury: What kinds of issues?

SCP-5384: Well, suits like Martin would make a short-sighted, and honestly boneheaded decision that would negatively affect our cars, and once it backfired on them, they'd blame other people such as me for the ensuing results.

SCP-5384: One example's the Dodge Intrepid family car from more than a decade ago. I had a hand in its development; I took pride in its sleek design, nothing else like it on the road. Well, except the Stratus, I guess. I also worked on the Stratus, by the way.

Choudhury: What happened to those cars?

SCP-5384: I found out the suits signed off on a potential flaw in the V6 engines that would result in the oil going bad and destroying the engines. I asked them to reconsider, warning them about it whenever I could, but they ignored me. Told me that I was freaking out for no reason, Martin even laughed in my face. Guess what? I was right. Their decision cost us millions, it ruined the Intrepid's legacy.

SCP-5384: That car was gonna be our Accord, our Camry. I was looking forward to seeing them being driven daily for years to come. But one short-sighted mistake threw all of it away. I still remember my anger, my discontent over this entire debacle… sometimes I wish I could forget about it, but time heals all wounds, I suppose.

Choudhury: If the higher-ups wouldn't listen to anything you said, then why'd you stay in the company for so long? Why'd you keep coming back?

SCP-5384: Because… because I loved the brand, I loved the cars we produced. I had a passion for Mopars: Chrysler, Dodge, Plymouth and Jeep. I wanted to make sure we built cars that Americans would enjoy and drive for years and years.

SCP-5384: But the people at the top didn't see it that way. They only looked at the next quarter's earnings. They didn't have the love and passion for cars that I did. I saw them cut every single possible corner they could, wherever they could. They didn't care if the quality suffered as a result.

SCP-5384: The Intrepid was only one of the many fumbles they made in the name of counting today's beans at the cost of tomorrow's. They're the reason why foreign cars dominate this country… not that foreign cars are… inherently bad by themselves. No offense, Charles.

Choudhury: None taken. You're clearly very passionate about Chrysler.

SCP-5384: Thank you. Now that I've explained my motives, would you kindly-

Choudhury: I still can't let you leave, sir. Not until you sign these.

Agent Choudhury holds up the papers. SCP-5384 sighs and looks down at the floor.

Choudhury: We've been tracking down everyone you gave cars to as well, as another formality.

SCP-5384 looks up, and stands up from its chair in indignation.

SCP-5384: You're gonna take their cars away? How could you?

Choudhury: I said nothing about taking their cars. We're gonna let them keep them, but after we establish auto loans for them to pay off.

SCP-5384: You're gonna make them pay for their free cars? You're… you're really undoing absolutely everything, aren't you?

Choudhury: Sir, people have been going crazy since you supplied them with free cars. Multiple cases of people carelessly driving their new cars and crashing them, even more cases of people selling the cars secondhand and pocketing the profits.

SCP-5384: Wait, people are selling the free cars I gave them? But… I…

Choudhury: There's no language in the sales documents that says they can't immediately turn around and flip them.

SCP-5384 lets out a sigh.

SCP-5384: I gave them a giant piece of machinery that costs tens of thousands of dollars for free, and this is what they do? I thought they'd cherish my free gifts, not just turn around and sell them… or even wreck them. I gave them a lifeline, and they went ahead and wasted it.

Choudhury: I'm sorry to break the bad news.

A short silence.

SCP-5384: Charles, my first car was a '72 Challenger. I worked for months, a job in the summer and another after school, to save up enough money to buy it. I may have beat the hell out of that Challenger, but I still made sure to treat it well. I washed it every week, kept the seats clean, and did the fluid changes myself. And you know what happened to it?

SCP-5384: I got hit by a Datsun. Eight months of ownership… gone in five seconds.

Choudhury: I'm sorry to hear that, Matkins. I had a car that was stolen from me a few years ago.

SCP-5384: The Datsun driver didn't have insurance either. I sat at the corner of that intersection sobbing, wishing that someone would come along and replace my car. I'm sure you felt the same when your car was stolen.

Choudhury looks down at the papers, covering his face.

SCP-5384: That's another reason why I started my dealership, to be the hero I needed on that day, 34 years ago.

Choudhury: I can understand, Matkins… I still miss my old car sometimes.

SCP-5384: Then you'd understand how I feel when your group locks me in a cell to undo all my work.

Choudhury: Well- this is different, you modified Chrysler's entire corporate structure to benefit you when-

SCP-5384: It wasn't for my benefit! I genuinely wanted to be charitable, to be the good guy that American motorists need for once! Is that so hard to believe?

A short silence.

SCP-5384: My offer still stands, Charles. I can still put you in the seat of a new RAM truck. Don't you think you deserve to have something nice, something new after working at this place for years? I'll still supply your entire organization with trucks and vans, all I need is your cooperation.

Another short pause.

SCP-5384: All I ask from you is to take those papers away. If your group reincorporates the company, I cannot give you anything.

Agent Choudhury hesitates, staring at the papers in his hands.

Choudhury: I… I can't. I'm sorry Larry, but I can't. We're almost done, I can't throw all of that away.

SCP-5384 does not respond.

Choudhury: As I've stated before, the way you changed Chrysler's logistics shouldn't be possible. You didn't go through any legal process, it's as if the articles suddenly changed by themselves. Additionally, there's the question of how you managed to contact us in the first place.

SCP-5384: I told you Charles, I looked in the phone book.

Choudhury: No matter how good your intentions were, we need to correct it before it bankrupts Chrysler. You wouldn't want your favorite automotive brand to collapse, do you?

SCP-5384 looks down at the floor.

SCP-5384: I just… I just wanted to show those suits what I was capable of. I wanted people to enjoy the cars I've helped develop without all the typical dealership crap. I just wanted to share my love of Mopar while… making people happy.

A short pause.

Choudhury: I'm sorry, Larry.

Another short pause. SCP-5384 looks up at Agent Choudhury.

SCP-5384: There's nothing left for me to do… except sign.

Choudhury: Correct. Here you go.

Agent Choudhury hands the papers to SCP-5384, who brings them to the desk in the containment chamber.

SCP-5384: Where do you need me to sign?

Choudhury: There, and there.

Agent Choudhury points at two specific spots on the papers, then gives SCP-5384 a pen. It proceeds to give its signature twice. Choudhury takes the papers from SCP-5384 and examines them.

SCP-5384: So that's that, I guess. Do I get to leave now?

Choudhury: You'll be released first thing tomorrow morning, Mr. Matkins. Thank you for your cooperation.

SCP-5384 does not respond as he turns to face the wall. Agent Choudhury exits the chamber with the papers and seals the door behind him.

<End Log>

Following its cooperation, Operation 5384-MONRONEY was successfully completed, officially neutralizing SCP-5384's alterations. The civilian employees were successfully amnesticized, with Martin Strandberg placed as the new CEO of Fiat-Chrysler.

On July 19, 2015, SCP-5384 was administered Class-F amnestics to completely remove its memory of its anomalous abilities, with false memories implanted. SCP-5384 was released from Foundation custody on July 21, 2015 under preemptive surveillance for further anomalous activity.

Addendum 05: On August 29, 2015, surveillance of SCP-5384 was ceased due to a lack of anomalous activity. A reclassification to Neutralized was proposed, but was halted due to the following event.

On September 2, 2015, Site-48 received an unscheduled delivery with the following note attached:

+ Open Recovered Document 5384-2

Document 5384-2.5

Due to the circumstances of this delivery, SCP-5384's reclassification to Neutralized was denied. Foundation agents began an investigation into its whereabouts for interrogation regarding this event, as its suspected resistance to Foundation amnestics posed an informational risk.

The delivered vehicle, a red 2015 Ram pickup truck, was found to be non-anomalous and has been issued to Agent Choudhury as his Foundation transport to reward his work regarding SCP-5384.

Footnotes

1. Now incorporated as Stellantis.

2. Fiat-Chrysler has similarly been required to compensate SCP-5384 following payment of vehicle taxes.

3. Chrysler's parts division, often used to refer to Chrysler products in general.

4. Although Agent Choudhury provided SCP-5384 with false information regarding his background per standard Veil protocol, later analysis of the documents revealed that SCP-5384 had filled in his correct information instead.

5. Transcript: Reserved for Charles Choudhury.