Item #: SCP-1830-J

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: Containment of SCP-1830-J is easier said than done, as our current abilities just don't cut the mustard. It goes without saying that the Foundation must search high and low for any documents affected by SCP-1830-J and end them once and for all, or it's only a matter of time before it's curtains for us.

All persons affected by SCP-1830-J must be terminated with extreme prejudice, time being of the essence. This is a tried and true method of putting a stop to it. The Foundation previously took a stab at amnestic administration in earlier days, but the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Staff interacting with SCP-1830-J victims should wear hearing protection, as an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

Description: For all intents and purposes, SCP-1830-J is an anomaly affecting individuals which causes them to use over-the-top, clichéd turns of phrase in written documents, as well as perceiving other documents to be under the thumb of SCP-1830-J. In this day and age, it is estimated that ██% of the world's population is affected by SCP-1830-J (more or less), but these could be just the tip of the iceberg.

SCP-1830-J is able to spread like wildfire and should be avoided like the plague. Attempting to convince victims they are affected by SCP-1830-J is like talking to a brick wall, as they believe SCP-1830-J is the best thing since sliced bread. Administering standard intelligence tests suggests they are a few sandwiches short of a picnic. Communication with victims also runs the risk of spreading SCP-1830-J, as when you gaze into the abyss, the abyss also gazes into you.

To the best of our knowledge, the origin of SCP-1830-J was mid-19th century England, where the turn of phrase "██ ███ █ ████ ███ ██████ █████" may be where it all began, although that could be just a shot in the dark.

If SCP-1830-J is allowed to run rampant, it's plain as day that this would cause literature as an art form to bite the dust; while there's no accounting for taste, works affected by SCP-1830-J are a far cry from readable. While the Foundation must count its blessings that no mass outbreak of SCP-1830-J has occurred, this may just be the calm before the storm.

Addendum: It looks like we've had the wool pulled over our eyes; SCP-1830-J was right under our noses the whole time. I propose we lock this article once and for all, so it won't cause anyone else to trip up. All's well that ends well!

It's a good thing the rest of the database is safe as houses.

- Dr Major