Tstaffor

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Tstaffor's Best of:

SCP-6557 - Annihilation From a Cross Across Time

SCP-5846 - The One-Stop Shop

SCP-6547 - Worlds Within Worlds Within Worlds…

Item#: 555-J

Containment Class: esoteric

Secondary Class: thaumiel

Disruption Class: dark

Risk Class: notice

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-555-J is only to be handled by MTF Omega-8 ("Janitors")12. Due to the incredible utility of SCP-555-J, all requests made by SCP-555-J are to be fulfilled to the furthest ability of the Foundation.

Description: SCP-555-J is a squid with a wooden mop handle attached to its back. SCP-555-J possesses Level 4 reality-bending properties, however, it only uses its powers to clean floors. Furthermore, it will only use these properties when physically pushed across a surface. SCP-555-J has shown no desire to utilize its powers for anything other than this purpose and as such is not considered a risk. SCP-555-J is able to vocalize but cannot locomote on its own. It consistently expresses excitement about cleaning nearby surfaces, which appears to be the only topic that SCP-555-J is willing to discuss.

Addendum: Interview Log

<Begin Log>

Dr. Furrow: Hello SCP-555-J. Could you tell me what your purpose is?

SCP-555-J: To clean! I clean all the floor!!!

Dr. Furrow: Alright then. Do you know where you came fro-

SCP-555-J: SHLOOORP!!!

Dr. Furrow: What- Why did you just do that?

SCP-555-J: That's the sound of me going in the mop bucket!

Dr. Furrow: I was just in the middle of asking you a question! Whatever. Can you-

SCP-555-J: SHWISH SHWASH SHWOOSH!!!

Dr. Furrow: SCP-555-J, can you please—

SCP-555-J: That's me sliding across the dirty floor!!

Dr. Furrow: Yeah. I get that. I'd like to get through just one question? Please?

SCP-555-J: Sounds good to me!

Dr. Furrow: How are you able to thi-

SCP-555-J: FWISHHHH!

Dr. Furrow: OH COME, ON!!!! SHUT UP! I WILL ASK YOU THESE QUESTIONS OR SO HELP ME I SHALL NEVER LET YOU CLEAN AGAIN!!!!

SCP-555-J: That last noise was me being rung out by the way.

Dr. Furrow: I am going to ask a question now. You aren't going to interrupt me this time. Right?

SCP-555-J: SHLORP! That means yes in Mop!

Dr. Furrow: Alright. Now, if you could please just tell me- Are you going to stay quiet?

SCP-555-J: SHLORP!

Dr. Furrow: That response keeps me hesitant but I'll continue. Do you… have… any idea… -no interruptions? Alright then! Where are you fro-

SCP-555-J: FWOOOMP!!!

<End Log>

The cleanliness of all Foundation sites has increased by 70%. Dr. Furrow has been put on indefinite leave.

Footnotes

1. An MTF made up of E-class staff assigned to clean all Foundation Sites and Areas.

2. DONT READ THIS FOOTNOTE IF YOU"RE NOT O5!!!! TEENY MEMETIC KILL AGENT INBOUND

We mostly made this MTF to heighten morale. - O5-7

Porridge

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