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Jayenne

Sister Sanguine

Written by Jayenne.

Item #: SCP-7032

Object Class: Safe Euclid1

Special Containment Procedures: When not in use for testing or medical2 purposes, SCP-7032 is assigned to a standard humanoid containment cell in Site-06-3. To ensure SCP-7032 stays properly moisturized, this cell is outfitted with a personal shower that SCP-7032 can use at its leisure. The shower's water supply is independent from the rest of Site-06-3 to prevent contamination from SCP-7032-A. SCP-7032's nutritional requirements necessitate a meal of 6 pints of fresh blood per day. As the species of blood is not important, the blood of deceased D-class can be used in the event of a supply shortage. SCP-7032 is only allowed to consume its meals within its cell or during testing / medical procedures.

Predicating on good behavior, SCP-7032 is permitted to roam low-security sectors of Site-06-3 if accompanied by at least two (2) armed guards at least two (2) members of MTF-Theta-16 "Nuns and Roses". Members of MTF-Theta-16 have undergone extensive training to resist the effects of exposure to SCP-7032-A.

Following the events of Incident-7032-03R, direct physical contact with SCP-7032 by uninjured and/or untrained personnel is strictly forbidden. Personnel found engaging in physical contact with SCP-7032 will be disciplined and prohibited from entering the vicinity of SCP-7032 until the completion of Procedure 3290-THALASSA.

Procedure 3166-IRVINE:

+ Show Details of Procedure 3166-IRVINE

- Close

Due to the even temperament of SCP-7032, its medical experience, and its anomalous properties, Site-06-3 supervisors have authorized SCP-7032 to provide medical care to site personnel, with the following stipulations:

Following Incident-7032-03R, SCP-7032 must always be accompanied by at least two members of MTF-Theta-16 "Nuns and Roses", at least one researcher experienced in interacting with SCP-7032, and standard Foundation medical staff when conducting medical procedures.

SCP-7032 may requisition medical supplies at the discretion of site supervisors. SCP-7032 may only handle medical supplies while performing medical procedures, and must return all supplies to staff when no longer needed.

After the completion of any medical procedure involving SCP-7032, all implements used by SCP-7032 must be thoroughly cleaned and disinfected to prevent any contamination from SCP-7032-A.

Subjects treated by SCP-7032 are to submit daily reports on their physical and mental health for at minimum 30 days following treatment. This time may be increased based on the severity of the injuries treated.

All personnel involved in assisting SCP-7032 during a medical procedure must wear elbow-length, medical-grade gloves. If accidental skin-contact with SCP-7032 is made, affected staff must immediately report to site supervisors and submit daily reports on their physical and mental health until Procedure-3290-THALASSA can be conducted.

- Close

Description: SCP-7032 is an entity resembling a Hirudo Medicinalis3 of unusual size, approximately 3 meters in length. Along with its large size, SCP-7032 boasts other anomalous features for its species, such as a set of four prehensile appendages - two a short distance past the head and two midway down its length, before the "tail" section - which seem to function as rudimentary limbs. These limbs end in large singular suction cups, surrounded by four short protrusions, each boasting a curved black claw. These allow SCP-7032 to grip and handle objects in a manner much like a human.

Due to its invertebrate nature, SCP-7032 is capable of reshaping its body, stretching to twice its resting length or compressing into spaces less than half its original size. It usually uses this ability to assume the approximate body-shape of an adult humanoid female with a height of 1.67 meters standing upright. Because SCP-7032 has no traditional eyes or other complex facial features, its humanoid form has often been described as "mannequin-like", owing to its smooth, blank face. SCP-7032, despite its lack of apparent facial features, is still capable of sight, hearing, and smell with acuity equal to that of an average human.4 This is accomplished via an array of photoreceptors and other sensory organs positioned in a circular pattern around the mouth. This mouth, despite being structured much like that of Hirudo Medicinalis, is capable of articulate verbal communication. SCP-7032 can speak a variety of languages, including English, Dutch, German, Scottish Gaelic, and French. Despite DNA tests showing SCP-7032's DNA is identical to that of a non-anomalous Hirudo Medicinalis, the entity possesses reproductive organs nearly identical to that of a human female. In its humanoid form, approximately half of SCP-7032's body length serves as a 1.3 meter long muscular tail which can be used in self-defense. In terms of clothing, SCP-7032 prefers to wear a nun's uniform from the "Church of Our Lady Wreathed In Sanguine Veil", a Protestant Convent suspected of possessing other anomalous entities. The clothing (henceforth referred to as SCP-7032-B) exhibits minor anomalous properties, such being abnormally stain-resistant and completely waterproof. SCP-7032 also wears a necklace of braided leather bearing a brass cross with its arms angled up in a Y-shape, the symbol of the Sanguine Church.

When given blood, either via oral ingestion or by diffusion through the skin, SCP-7032's skin will secrete a clear, viscous substance (henceforth referred to as SCP-7032-A) with remarkably potent anesthetic properties. The quantity of SCP-7032-A produced varies based on the amount of blood provided. The potency of SCP-7032-A seems to be determined based on the freshness and species of the blood ingested. Fresh human blood produces the highest-quality samples of SCP-7032-A. When SCP-7032 makes physical contact with an organism experiencing an injury, SCP-7032-A is rapidly diffused through the skin of the wounded individual, nullifying pain and eliciting a sense of euphoria. SCP-7032-A also seems to accelerate the rate of healing by 20-50% depending on its quality. If an injured organism is also experiencing an infection from sustained wounds, SCP-7032 is capable of cleaning infected blood and tissue via direct ingestion. Subjects experiencing this process rarely show any signs of discomfort, largely due to being under the influence of SCP-7032-A. On top of SCP-7032's ability to produce a potent anesthetic, the entity possesses extensive medical knowledge and experience as a surgeon, likely from its previous role in the Convent. Exactly why a Convent would need a surgeon is - as of now - a matter of speculation.

Discovery: SCP-7032 was first discovered in 2/18/2020 at the main Convent of the "Church of Our Lady Wreathed In Sanguine Veil" in Sussex, England, following reports of a nun performing "healing miracles" in the area. At the time, a rapid increase in the prescription and illegal smuggling of opiates was reported in the region, but not initially connected to the investigation. Mild resistance between the Convent and Foundation agents was reported, but after some deliberation between SCP-7032 and the Convent, the entity was able to enter Foundation custody without significant conflict. Following the events of the 2020 recovery operation, the "Church of Our Lady Wreathed In Sanguine Veil" was placed under surveillance, with the objective of discovering any additional anomalous entities the Church may be concealing.

Interview 7032-I-1: The following interview was conducted shortly after SCP-7032 was brought into Foundation custody. Information in {} was provided by Dr. Toussaint for additional context.

Interviewer: Dr. Louis Toussaint

Interviewed: SCP-7032

Date: 2/22/2020

<Begin Log>

Toussaint: Alright, here we go. Hello, my name is Dr. Louis Toussaint.

SCP-7032: It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Doctor. May I ask a question?

Toussaint: Feel free, not much else to do around here.

SCP-7032: I've already been briefed on the purpose of your operation, and my "containment", but I was wondering… what is the purpose of the moniker "SCP-7032"? Furthermore, why do the staff always refer to me as an "it"? I do have a name, it's Sister Maeve Sanguinea.

{Toussaint pauses briefly}

Toussaint: That is standard Foundation procedure when dealing with… anomalies. It's necessary to help organize all contained instances, and to prevent our personnel from developing… attachments.

SCP-7032: That's… awfully dehumanizing, is it not?

{Agent ████ interrupts}

Agent ████: Well, you are a…

{Agent ████ gestures to SCP-7032's body, which is currently in its humanoid form and clothed in its usual attire. SCP-7032's body language shows visible discomfort at this}

Toussaint: Goddamit, Agent, don't interrupt! First Anomaly that doesn't immediately try to bite his head off and he goes on insulting it, the nerve…

{SCP-7032 laughs quietly}

Toussaint: I apologize for my Agent's conduct. He's… new to this. Anyways, what Agent ████ was trying to say is that your appearance could be disturbing to those not experienced in the handling of anomalous creatures. Am I correct in deducing that you are a variety of leech?

SCP-7032: All is forgiven, Doctor. Actually, despite all appearances, I assure you I am very much human. This was a gift from our Patron.

Toussaint: Ah, I see. How long have you had this… gift… and who is this Patron you speak of?

SCP-7032: I've had this gift as long as I can remember. I don't believe I was born with it, though. As for our Patron, why, how could you not know of Our Lady Wreathed In Sanguine Veil?

Toussaint: I was under the impression that the Convent's name was simply eccentric word choice, and that you still practiced the Christian faith.

SCP-7032: Oh we do, the correct Christian faith.

Toussaint: What makes your Christian faith more correct than others?

SCP-7032: We see things as they truly are, Doctor. We see what those old stuck-up fools in the Vatican don't see. There was no Messiah, at least not in the way it's typically described. Mother Mary was not the mother of the Messiah, she was the Messiah. The Goddess, descended to earth in human form, wreathed in flowing silks the color of her virginal blood. From her womb sprang forth all things, man and beast and otherwise, and so we all must return to her womb at the end.

{Dr. Toussaint pauses in contemplation}

Toussaint: That is an… interesting philosophy. I guess it explains why the cross you wear around your neck looks so unusual. Tell me, in your theology, is Mary a benevolent deity?

SCP-7032: Mary is petulant and brash, and yet mature and composed. She would just as soon build your house for a sixpence as tear it down at the slightest insult. She is the force of nature that all other forces fear and respect. No one, especially no man, dares question her authority without just cause and due respect. Mary professes the freedom of women as one of her highest goals, and wishes to bring about complete harmony between the sexes. Unfortunately, men don't often listen to words, so Mary has been forced to use… other means to clarify her points. I dare not elaborate for fear of angering her, though.

Toussaint: Do these beliefs cause you to resent men in any way?

SCP-7032: Resent? No, I would say I pity them, rather than resent them. Men oft have a self-destructive habit of running headlong into danger without thinking about the consequences. It sounds like a cursed existence. I mean no offense, but I do not envy you.

Toussaint: Would you consider yourself particularly devout in your faith? Also, what was your role within the Convent?

SCP-7032: My role in the convent is… difficult to explain. Have you heard of the concept of a "Sin-Eater"? Sin-Eaters consume a ritual meal in order to spiritually take on the sins of a deceased person. I am… something similar. I eat the sins of the living by purging them from the flesh and consuming them.

Toussaint: How is this accomplished, in your case?

SCP-7032: By alleviating the pain of the injured through the use of Mary's Tears… and by literally consuming the infected flesh and blood of festering wounds so they can properly heal.

{Agent ████ retches}

Toussaint: What are Mary's Tears, if I might ask?

SCP-7032: I… am uncertain if Mary would permit me to explain such a critical component of her beautiful Work, least of all to a… sorry, that came out wrong.

Toussaint: Alright, I think we have all we need for now.

SCP-7032: W-wait! You asked how devout I was, earlier?

Toussaint: Ah, yes, my apologies. Go on.

SCP-7032: Mary advocates for… "chastity" is not the right word… Moderation? Moderation in all things, including romantic pursuits. She believes going too far in either direction leads both men and women to ruin. The pursuit of sex in excess can lead one into danger, but depriving oneself can be just as detrimental to their wellbeing. The Sisters do not deprive themselves, but they dare not risk pursuing such desires in excess. Nonetheless…

Toussaint: Yes?

SCP-7032: Well… have you heard of the story of Joan of Leeds, the nun who faked her own death and escaped her Convent in order to… "pursue the way of carnal lust?"

Toussaint: … Go on.

SCP-7032: I know how she felt. Being so… constrained, so… unsatiated. I wager you do as well. Don't you sometimes wish you could…

{SCP-7032 leans forward and crosses arms under its chest in a suggestive manner}

SCP-7032: … throw caution to the wind, and feel what it's like to let the wild take over?

{Toussaint remains silent for several seconds}

Toussaint: Actually, I do, but not in the way you seem to be suggesting. Thank you for your time SCP-7032, that will be all for today.

<End Log>

Interview 7032-I-2: The following interview was conducted four days after the previous to inquire further about SCP-7032's background. Information in {} was provided by Dr. Toussaint for additional context.

Interviewer: Dr. Louis Toussaint

Interviewed: SCP-7032

Date: 2/26/2020

<Begin Log>

Toussaint: Alright, here we go. Hello again, SCP-7032. I hope you recall my name?

SCP-7032: Hah, I recall you saying something quite similar the first time we spoke, and yes I remember your name. Would you happen to remember mine?

{Toussaint pauses}

SCP-7032: I jest, Dr. Toussaint, I know the Foundation's policy with names.

Toussaint: So, we are conducting this interview to clarify a few things from the previous, and hopefully learn a bit more about the circumstances around your service to the Convent.

SCP-7032: Ah, I see. I will tell you what I can, though I cannot guarantee the answers will be satisfactory.

Toussaint: You mentioned Joan of Leeds last time we spoke, as if to imply you desired to escape your Convent. Is that why you entered our custody so willingly?

SCP-7032: Things had changed quite significantly over the decades. The Sisters could no longer agree about how my gifts should be used. They pulled me every which way, demanding I do this or that, partaking in the very things we were taught to avoid. Soon it seemed like the words of Mary and the words of the Sisters… they were diff- none of it made any sense. I just… I needed to leave, give myself some space. Maybe then, with me gone, they would stop their infighting over me.

Toussaint: Can you elaborate further on what had changed?

SCP-7032: I mentioned before that Mary espoused moderation in all things, including pursuits of a romantic nature? Well… many of the Sisters grew tired of the old ways. I cannot tell if they simply forgot the old lessons or simply "modernized" them so much their meaning became unrecognizable. The Sisters began indulging without consideration for their own safety. Relations within the Convent were commonplace before, but now… now they began hosting great parties, where clothes were scarce and security was even scarcer. They allowed anyone to join, so men would just walk in off the street, cast their clothes aside, and leap into the fray. We lost three Sisters during such parties. We know not where they went. Perhaps they were taken, perhaps they ran away of their own volition. Either way, it was terribly irresponsible, and frustrated me greatly.

Toussaint: Did you partake in these… indulgences, with your Sisters?

SCP-7032: No, but… to be honest… not for lack of trying. I was forbidden. I was only needed to aid them in their exploration of themselves. I must admit my own hypocrisy, for while I feel great concern at these events in hindsight, in the moment all I felt was… envy. The nerve they had, to restrict me so. I cannot tell if they did it for my safety, their safety, or simply out of spite. It's just… if everyone else is doing something you know is dangerous, but you are forbidden from taking part, there is still that… temptation… to join in. Such conflicting feelings have caused me much distress.

Toussaint: Perhaps they were afraid of you being discovered?

SCP-7032: Feh, I was always there, in the room. They needed me. I provided the… "entertainment." With how lax they were with security, it wouldn't surprise me if everyone in Sussex knew of my exploits. Of course I'd like to think they knew me more for my healing, but that just doesn't… sell as well, you know?

Toussaint: I doubt pursuing this inquiry further will be of much relevance. Let's switch topics to something more substantial. In our previous interview you informed me that you could not explain the nature of "Mary's Tears" because it might anger your Patron. Have you… received any indication that Mary has changed her mind since then?

SCP-7032: Well, yes and no. I… I've decided to commit a sin. I shall share with you the nature of Mary's Tears. Normally the Convent forbids such discussion, as it can lead to conflict with other groups, but… I need to do this. For me.

Toussaint: Please, go on.

SCP-7032: Whenever I ingest blood, my body naturally produces a potent… what's the word… anesthetic? A substance that, when applied to wounds, causes the pain to disappear like dew 'neath the sun. It also accelerates the rate of healing, which is something I wager your Foundation would be interested in.

Toussaint: Exactly what are you proposing?

SCP-7032: Part of why I chose to leave the Convent is because I no longer felt a sense of purpose. I wasn't helping others, so what was the point? Contain me if you must, but please, allow me to be of some use if you're going to keep me here. One of the requirements of my role in the Convent was extensive medical experience. Please allow me to assist your Foundation medics, and use Mary's Tears to alleviate the pains of your men.

{Toussaint is silent for a moment}

Toussaint: This… is actually quite an interesting proposal. I like to think of myself as a good judge of character, and while I damn well understand that one should never let their guard down around anomalies, I also know that we can't afford to miss opportunities for achieving beneficial relations with them. Hell, some anomalies are the only reasons our organization can function at all! Let me speak with my superiors about this, see what they think. We will probably need to conduct some tests to verify the credibility of your claims, but if they turn out to be true I strongly suspect the higherups will be positively drooling over an asset like you.

SCP-7032: You have my thanks, Doctor Toussaint! I do hope your inquiries go well. I'd rather not just sit in some cell all day…

<End Log>

An illustration of SCP-7032 discovered in the office of Dr. Jean Du Monde following Incident-7032-03R. While hundreds of similar illustrations were recovered from the scene, this was one of the few not saturated with blood.

Addendum 7032-1, Incident-7032-03R: At approximately 10:32:00, 9/15/2021, Dr. Jean Du Monde orchestrated a containment breach in Site-06-3, releasing SCP-████ and SCP-███, which both ended up killing at least 30 personnel in total. Evidence linking Dr. Jean Du Monde to the breach was discovered quickly via security camera footage, but Du Monde himself managed to escape detection in the confusion for the duration of the containment breach. Once the escaped anomalies had been contained and the deceased and wounded were accounted for, loud noises resembling those of a struggle were heard in an unused office suite of Site-06-3. Upon agents opening the door, they discovered Dr. Jean Du Monde apparently engaging in intercourse with SCP-7032. At some point during their relations, SCP-7032 had attacked Du Monde, pinning him to the floor before embedding its teeth in his jugular. By the time agents had discovered the scene, Dr. Jean Du Monde had died of severe exsanguination, with almost 85% of his blood drained from his body. Upon requests from the agents, SCP-7032 released its grip on Dr. Jean Du Monde, retrieved its clothing, and willingly entered Foundation custody. The subsequent interrogation of SCP-7032 led to a raid on the office of Dr. Jean Du Monde, and the recovery of evidence explaining the events that had transpired. During the subsequent hearings, Dr. Louis Toussaint took full responsibility for the events, claiming he should have tested SCP-7032-A more thoroughly before creating Procedure 3166-IRVINE. Dr. Louis Toussaint was suspended from duty for 2 years and reassigned to a different site. One year after this sentence was enacted, he died of a stroke at the age of 54.

Addendum 7032-2, Additional evidence regarding Incident-7032-03R: A raid of Dr. Jean Du Monde's office following his death has revealed a number of documents providing additional context on his swift decline, most notably a handwritten journal of his experiences with SCP-7032. Upon initial questioning following the incident, SCP-7032 willingly provided Foundation personnel with its own journal documenting its time with Dr. Jean Du Monde. The combination of these two accounts led to an immediate test of SCP-7032-A's potential for abuse.5

Excerpts from the journal of Dr. Jean Du Monde, titled "Black and White and Red All Over": The following journal was recovered from the office of Dr. Jean Du Monde during the investigation into Incident-7032-03R. Journal was stained with blood on various pages, though the distribution of blood spatter and differences in blood coloration between pages suggests the staining was done over a long period of time, rather than being the result of a single violent incident. Various scars discovered on the inner wrists of Dr. Jean Du Monde seem to support this hypothesis.

Title: "Black and White and Red All Over"

Author: Dr. Jean Du Monde

1/18/2017: I've made it, I'm finally here. All that training, all those goddamn background checks, it was aaaaall worth it. I'm finally a bona-fide Foundation researcher. Didn't think I'd be going down such an unusual lifepath, but hey, that's what happens when you see something you shouldn't. Sometimes I wish the amnestics had actually worked that day, but I wouldn't be here if they didn't. Actually got to take a look at SCP-███ in its cell earlier today. It's shorter than I remembered. Guess that comes with getting older, huh? You turn 30 and suddenly all the monsters look a little less monstrous. - Jean Du Monde

3/1/2020: Today was the day I first encountered SCP-7032. "Sister Sanguine", as Toussaint mistakenly called it one time. Hell, I'll take that nickname over the one the D-classers gave it, "Bloody Mary". I swear sometimes I wish I was in charge of carrying out terminations. Anyways, SCP-7032 is like no anomaly I've seen before. It's equal parts disturbing and alluring, like… like you know you shouldn't stare but you can't help doing it. It honestly feels weird calling SCP-7032 an "it" because of how feminine it looks - or chooses to look. Apparently it can change its body-shape. It's also very polite, like, extremely polite. Well-spoken too, clearly educated. We had a conversation about classic literature. Apparently 7032 thinks Citizen Kane is terribly droll. Can't say I agree, but I appreciate people confident enough to voice their opinions. Even if those opinions are wrong. - Jean Du Monde

3/5/2020: I think SCP-7032 noticed me staring at it earlier. It's difficult to process my feelings on the entity. I've had alot of time to observe its appearance, and that only makes me feel even more conflicted. On one hand it looks distinctly inhuman, with a strange mouth full of teeth as sharp as scalpels. On the other hand, it evokes something… carnal… and dare I say fetishistic. I suppose that must be due to it's skin resembling - at least from a distance - shiny black latex. It looks like it wears a full-body latex suit, and yet dresses like a Catholic nun. The contrast is incredibly eye-catching, to say the least. I've asked a few of the others if they were feeling the same things, and most of them vehemently agreed. It's weird, but reassuring. At least it means I'm not under some kind of spell. - Jean Du Monde

3/10/2020: SCP-7032 and I have been getting along surprisingly well whenever we have a chance to talk. We started with conversing about basic stuff, small-talk and the like. Then the conversations turned to our pasts. Where we came from. I told it about SCP-███. It said it was sorry I had to go through such a thing. 7032 told me about its past, how it was basically born into the Church of Sanguine Veil. The way 7032 was talking made it seem like this all happened a loooong time ago. I tried asking how long, but it wouldn't say. Come to think of it, I have no idea how old 7032 actually is. That's still not as weird as when it said it used to look human. It doesn't seem to view its transformation as a curse, despite its… appearance. Regardless of the fact that 7032 looks like a leech-person-dressed-in-a-nun-costume, I feel strangely normal when I'm around it. Not that I felt abnormal before, but… things just make a little bit more sense whenever I speak with it. - Jean Du Monde

3/14/2020: I asked Dr. Toussaint a stupid question today. I asked if the Foundation had any policies about personnel having relationships with sentient humanoid anomalies. He didn't immediately file a request for my termination, which was a plus, but he did spit his coffee all over the documents he was filing. In my panic I tried to play it off like I was asking for a friend, but he saw straight through me. He told me to be careful, as we hadn't fully documented all of SCP-7032's anomalous properties yet. For all we know 7032 could be, like, mind-controlling me into liking it. To be honest, even if that were the case, I'm not sure I'd care. Talking with 7032 has been some of the most fun I've had since I started working here. It's a bright spot in this facility full of murderous monsters and unexplainable objects. Come to think of it, Dr. Toussaint didn't explicitly say such relationships were forbidden. I think, so long as it doesn't compromise any containment procedures, there could be something between us after all. - Jean Du Monde

3/20/2020: I fucked up. Well, okay, it wasn't even technically my fault, but still. Procedure 3166-IRVINE has been well underway for about three weeks now, and we've been patching up our guys almost nonstop since its inception. Maybe it's just because I'm spending much more time in the medical wing now, but I had no idea we had this many injuries at Site-06-3. There's gotta be an OSHA violation in there somewhere. Does the Foundation even recognize OSHA? Anyways, getting off track. Today we were treating some D-class who somehow got completely disemboweled. Everything typically found in the abdominal cavity was distinctly outside his, coiled every which way cause he tried to stuff it all back in before the agents could restrain him on the stretcher. He looked about ten seconds from flatlining so we were all in a bit of a rush, and one of the assistants tripped and crashed into me from behind. I held out my hands to brace myself and… well… one hand went straight into the D-class's guts. The other hand - which I was in the process of gloving but hadn't completely - hit SCP-7032 square in the face while it was in the process of applying SCP-7032-A. My hand got covered in the stuff. It was like Vaseline but… better. Cool but not too cold. Couldn't feel my damn fingers for a few hours after touching it, though. Dr. Toussaint reprimanded the assistant and directed me to go wash my hands, so I don't know what happened to the D-class in the end. What I do know, is that by the time I had made it to the sink, the SCP-7032-A had completely diffused through my skin. There was nothing left to clean off. I really hope there aren't any side-effects of this, I vaguely recall SCP-7032 mentioning something about "moderation". - Jean Du Monde

3/21/2020: I feel weird. Weird in that I feel good, but for no discernable reason. Like I just got hit in the face by the living personification of Dopamine. I literally danced my entire way down the hall to the medical wing. I never dance, people always called me "Commander Shepard" in college when I tried. It's also hard to stop smiling. Part of me thinks I should tell someone, buuuuut I'm afraid they might lock me in a humanoid containment cell. Plus, what's wrong with being in a weirdly good mood once in a while? As long as it doesn't become a constant thing, I don't see an issue with keeping this on the down-low. - Jean

3/23/2020: It's a constant thing. I know why, though. It's the SCP-7032-A, it fucking has to be! It's the only illicit substance that's ever entered my system since when I was in the womb and my mom was an alcoholic. Wow that was a weird thing to write. Anyways… as I'm writing this… the high is starting to drop like a rock. Fuck. Damn… I feel like I just watched a nonstop marathon of "The Fox and the Hound". Am I crying? What the hell… Okay, if anyone sees me like this for any prolonged period of time, they're going to scrub my brain or dope me up with amnestics or something. I'm not crazy, I just - I just don't want to feel this terrible. I… I gotta get more of that stuff. - Jean

3/24/2020: I "accidentally" fell on SCP-7032 again. That's what happens when nobody mops the floors after a 3166-IRVINE. Things can get awfully… slippery. It was a remarkably soft landing, on account of SCP-7032 having no actual skeleton. Felt like landing on a waterbed, but better. She didn't seem to mind much, all things considered. Actually, she just seemed to stare at me. I can't remember, but I swear her hands were on my thighs. Managed to get a good amount of SCP-7032-A on my hands as I tried to get up again. I think she noticed, but she didn't say anything. We joked about it later, started speaking more candidly about this whole shitshow and the people running it, who we both thought were running it into the ground. Dr. Toussaint is one of the only people here who seems to have more than one braincell to rub together. He's the only one who can see SCP-7032 for what she truly is, a fascinating woman with so, so much to say. I could listen to her for hours. Might even get a recording to set as my alarm in the morning, though it might soothe me to sleep rather than wake me up. - Jean

Why… why did I refer to SCP-7032 as "she"? I can't afford to talk about her like that, it could get me in serious tro- wait… why can't I stop?

4/5/2020: I can't keep staging accidental mishaps. People are getting wise. Fuck, they were getting wise after the second one. There's gotta be a better way to get more SCP-7032-A, but the stuff evaporates super fast once exposed to the air. You can't just bottle it up and store it, or at least you can't without equipment too big for me to steal. I wonder, could I just be upfront with her? 7032, I mean. Could I just… ask her for some? I already considered injuring myself, so I could get a 3166-IRVINE, but that would be unsustainable. Plus, SCP-7032-A seems to behave differently in the systems of injured people. I don't think it would have the same… rush. Okay Fuck it, I'm done. I'm done with the crashes, I'm done feeling miserable, I'm gonna ask 7032 if she can hook me up. Let's hope I don't get friendzoned. - Jean

4/6/2020: She said yes. Holy shit she said yes. Well, she also said something about "regretting it" or whatever, but honestly after she said "yes" it was all white noise. Basically without even thinking I stole a bloodbag from the medical wing and gave it to her. Human blood is real preemo stuff, supposed to make the highest-quality SCP-7032-A. After chugging it down she took my hands in hers and… it was like… it was like an epiphany. I remember some agents telling a story about how a test subject had ordered "the perfect drink" from SCP-294, and once he downed it all and the cup ran empty, he killed himself cause everything after that was one big letdown. That's what I feel like right now. I feel like… there's no walking back from this. The only way I'm gonna be able to survive is through… escalation. -Jean

5/1/2020: She told me her name today. Sister Maeve Sanguinea. I can't stop repeating it whenever I'm alone. I don't even want to. It's like an anathema to all the pain of withdrawal. It helps keep me going for just that little bit longer between doses. I only wish we could do more than simply hold hands. This godforsaken place… it's impossible to be alone, least of all with an anomaly. Her guards are easy to dupe; they don't think she's any kind of danger. They're wrong, I suspect, but I can't afford to tell them. I need what Maeve offers far too much. We're usually able to disappear into a supply closet for a few minutes without anyone noticing, but it's not like these places are soundproofed. We couldn't do - we - not yet - but I'll find a way. I promise.

5/16/2020: I had a dream last night. A dream about the monster I saw. That night, in my home. I was hiding under the shattered remains of the couch, trying to hold my breath as that… THING… SCP-███ walked among the remnants of my parents. There wasn't much left of them after it was done. Frankly the dream didn't do the sheer scale of the carnage justice. Suddenly, though, just as the thing was trying to peer under the couch, a beautiful voice filled the air. The couch split open, leaving me uncovered, but SCP-███ didn't attack me. It couldn't. It was wrapped in these blood-red silks, coiling tighter and tighter, until the damn thing burst open and all its innards spilled out. I looked up to see where the silks were coming from, and there she was… Maeve… descending from the Heavens on wings of silken veils. She saved me. She pulled me up from those dismembered corpses and lifted me away from that nightmare. When I'm around her everything seems brighter… but when I'm away from her, all the monsters come back again. I wonder if this is how people on normal drugs feel. Like the drugs are an island in the middle of a sea of sharks. Like they're the last strand of a tightrope over a lake of fire. I need more. I need Maeve. No clothes this time. I need to see how accurate the dream was. -Du Monde

7/20/2020: Glorious, beautiful, voluptuous, perfect, a Goddess unto herself and yet only a servant to a higher deity. I asked Maeve today if her Goddess was even slightly as beautiful as herself, and she said I could not even possibly comprehend. I've certainly tried, though, whenever Mary's Tears course through my veins. I think I can almost see her, descending from the heavens in her bloodied veil. Or maybe that's just the blood dripping into my eyes from the cut I just made in my forehead. I don't know why I did it, Maeve isn't even around. It just… felt right… -Du Monde

1/2/2021: If I could, I would paint the most glorious portrait of Maeve the world had ever seen. Show the world every inch of her night-black glory, and the scarlet dripping from her claws. I lack the skill to give Maeve's beauty the justice it deserves, though I've still made a few attempts on random scraps of paper. Strange, this one has words all over it. Words I can't remember writing. They're all true, though:

My queen

Like an angel

We are destined

Bleed me dry

5/23~2021: It's not enough. It's not enough! No amount of TOUCHING is ENOUGH! We haven't the TIME, haven't the PLACE, where those BASTARDS won't hear! They still know not of what we are, of how tightly we are BOUND. I endeavor to KEEP it that way. I must… I must figure out a PLAN, a plan for how we can consummate our UNION… and be together FOREVER.

6~19/2021: I am a BEAST in a MASK. I smile, I look the part, but it is all an ACT. Ever since that first touch, I have been plagued with the wonders of the GODDESS. Her SERVANT haunts me. It is beautiful. She is beautiful. SHE IS BEAUTIFUL. I can't. I can't I can't I CAN'T. BUT I MUST. There is no redemption. No redemption for THEM. I am not in need of it. I am PURE. I have been shown GOD in human form. I pity those FOOLS for not understanding what MAEVE truly IS. Soon. Soon I shall ascend, and leave all these FOOLS behind. Maeve waits for me. She waits for my plan. -MONDE

7~10 2021: I. Something. Something happened today. I was about to get my TEARS when SHE asked me a question. The words were STRANGE. I could I could almost UNDERSTAND. I think. It was a hard question. It made me THINK. It broke through something. Why was I WITH HER like that? For DRUGS… or for HER? Did I HAVE to choose? Yes I did. I do. WAIT. No. YES. Why-STOP THIS. Stop THINKING. Thinking HURTS. You can THINK when you're talking with those FOOLS. With MAEVE you CANNOT. Just please give me a second. I just need to write someth-FINE. Maeve, I'm scared. I've always been SCARED. Ever since that night. When I saw it. I could never get it out of my head. It was always thereALWAYS THERE. The Tears THE DRUGS KEPT IT AWAY. But I kept needing more. I kept needing more of YOU, TOO. I still do. Touching doesn't work anymore. It's in MY HEAD. I might have to do something HORRIBLE. To make the PAIN go AWAY. It will hurt. BUT IT WON'T HURT US. It will never never nevereverevereverevernevereverNEVEREVER HURT US. We… we will be ONE. Just give me TIME. -JeAN DUMOND

9-15 2021: Brilliance. It is pure brilliance! I finally know what I must do. I cannot KILL all these guards myself, oh nonononononnoNO. But it can. It. The one I saw as a child. The one they tried to make me FORGET. It cannot be reasoned with, but I need not bother. All I need to do is FREE it, and those FOOLS will provide the BAIT. But what if it doesn't work? What if they can contain IT? Surely I will be found out! No, NO! We must… we must plan. Oh. I have it. It's so simple! Why release one monster… when you can release TWO? -MOND

915-2021: I did it. I can hear the screaming and GUNFIRE outside. It is a symphony. It builds to its eventual CLIMAX. Maeve will be here soon. I told her where to go. She will be fine. Mary would not allow harm to come to her SERVANT. Wait why is. Is she coming through the vents-YES. She is HERE, and READY. Finally, after all this time, I will have ASCENSIO-

Excerpts from the journal of SCP-7032, titled "On Wings and Red Veils": The following journal was willingly provided to Foundation investigators by SCP-7032 itself after the events of Incident-7032-03R. The journal is in immaculate condition, bound in black leather, and bears the insignia of the "Church of Our Lady Wreathed In Sanguine Veil". It is currently unknown how SCP-7032 procured this journal, though it has been deduced to be a filing error in recording SCP-7032's personal possessions.

Title: "On Wings and Red Veils"

Author: SCP-7032

I am writing this journal in the full knowledge that eventually a member of the Foundation will deign it necessary to comb through its contents, despite their personal nature. Please, whoever reads this, know that I am not one who keeps secrets unless decreed by Mother Mary herself. I will speak my mind in its entirety, but there are certain things no amount of interrogation will convince me to elaborate on. Mother Mary's secrets are hers to keep.

2/28/2020: From one stint in captivity to another, but I suppose I cannot complain too much. To be honest, these sanitized white walls offer me some comfort. They remind me of the chapel, but without all the bloodstains. I also enjoy the methodical way the Foundation goes about their duties. Every anomaly under their purview is handled differently so as to minimize harm to itself and others. I suppose I should consider myself blessed that I am even permitted out of my cell, though, for some of the more violent specimens contained here are not so lucky. Well, I'm a well behaved woman - mostly - so I doubt that will change in the future. I just have to make sure not to touch anyone I'm not healing. I… really hope that's as simple as it sounds. -Maeve

3/1/2020: I met another Researcher of the Foundation today, by the name of Dr. Jean Du Monde. Significantly younger in comparison to Dr. Toussaint, and I fear far more naïve. I could feel his eyes upon my form from the moment he opened the door to the moment he walked away. It was difficult to tell if he was attracted or disturbed. He seemed nervous in his talks with me, but that could mean any number of things. We spoke briefly on literature, and the merits and demerits of Citizen Kane. It feels nice to have a conversation not directly related to my appearance or my potential danger to the Foundation. Even as I write this, I keep repeating the name "Jean Du Monde" in my head. I can't help enjoying how it sounds. I do hope we can continue these conversations in the future. -Maeve

3/5/2020: Jean is quite a specimen indeed. Doubtless attractive, looks at least 5 years younger than he is, in perfect physical condition. Gods, I find myself observing him almost as much as he does me. Thankfully he can't tell when I'm looking at him, else things might get quite… tense… between us. He's not the only one I've caught ogling me, not by a long shot, but he is the only one I've even considered reciprocating with. I'm no fool, though. In my current situation, I cannot explain the dangers of my ability without risking both my relative freedom and my bonds with Mother Mary. If I ever were to seek a union with anyone, it could never become physical. Not without betraying my oaths of secrecy. -Maeve

3/10/2020: It is surely one of Mary's great miracles that Dr. Jean is as alluring in personality as he is in body. He's quite amusing to talk to; always has an opinion no matter the topic, and yet is always respectful of the opinions of others. I often wonder how such a bold and eccentric man could end up in a place like this. Today I received at least a partial answer. Apparently Jean had encountered an anomaly when he was only a child. I daren't recount the full details, for it is not my place to publicize such things, but it must have been traumatic indeed. One would think such an experience would've deterred him from the Foundation, but I know better. Sometimes, exposure to such nightmarish things can lead one to down a dark path, straight to where they sprang from. I imagine "storm-chasers" and other similar occupations came about from such experiences. Perhaps the entire Foundation did as well. I wonder… what could've scared a man so much it prompted them to form an organization like this? -Maeve

3/14/2020: I've given my situation more thought over the past few days. I hadn't originally intended to pursue any members of the staff here, but now I'm starting to realize this would be quite a lonely existence if I did not. I fled the Convent specifically to avoid such deprivation. Surely I cannot abide being so unfulfilled again? Of course, regardless of my desire, I daren't put Jean in peril. If we are to do anything beyond simply talking - and flirting - he must be strengthened against the influence of Mary's Tears. Unfortunately, I currently lack the equipment required to perform the Ritual of Thalassa, and I don't believe the Foundation could procure such materials anyhow. Only the Convent possesses the equipment I would need to carefully control the dosage of Mary's Tears. Informing the Foundation of such a ritual beyond simply mentioning its name would also put the Convent at risk. Would I really give up my faith and betray my Sisters simply to court a man? Then again… If I had the equipment, and carried out the ritual on Jean… we could touch any time we wanted… Oh, how a girl can dream… -Maeve

3/20/2020: Something unexpected occurred today. My employment as a Foundation healer has been proceeding swimmingly for the past three weeks with no significant setbacks. I appreciate that, despite my unusual visage, the personnel seem to be a bit more lax around me now than they were at the start. Unfortunately, that may have been a double-edged sword. I was tending to the wounds of an injured D-class who had been almost completely disemboweled when Dr. Jean collided with me from behind. I was unharmed, but in Jean's attempts to brace himself, his hand accidentally plunged into the entrails of the poor man I was treating. As Jean righted himself and made his way to the sinks, I did my best to resume the healing process, but Jean's hand had accidentally perforated the patient's organs and caused him to expire. While it was unfortunate, I found myself just as concerned with Jean's other hand, which had made contact with my face during his fall. When he returned he was wearing gloves, but I distinctly recall feeling bare skin. I fear he may have been exposed to Mary's Tears. I wanted to warn him, but I feared I might be seen as a hazard and disposed of if someone else were to hear what I had to say. I told him to practice moderation in order to mitigate the Tears' effects. I just hope he understood. -Maeve

3/21/2020: Dr. Jean is in quite good spirits today. I attempted to inquire what was bringing him to dance about as he worked, but he had no explanation. I have a bad feeling, but I'm not certain if it is correct. He was only exposed to a small amount of Mary's Tears, not nearly enough to… to… no, it cannot be that, surely? I will attempt to observe him to see if his mental wellbeing starts to decline. -Maeve

3/23/2020: I daresay my hypothesis seems to be correct. Ever since exposure to Mary's Tears, Jean is exhibiting symptoms of being under their thrall. It shouldn't have been a large enough sample to elicit such a reaction, though. Usually people would have to embrace my unclothed body to show such a rapid change in their demeanor. Perhaps Jean is unusually susceptible to the Tears? Or… perhaps… the Tears are growing stronger? The blood I am provided by the Foundation is of a markedly higher quality than what the Church could muster from its livestock - not just in terms of species, but also in terms of purity. It's possible we have unknowingly stumbled on a highly concentrated form of Mary's Tears. Regardless, I know not how to mend this situation. I fear if I were to speak to Dr. Toussaint, he might forbid me from my work as Healer out of caution. Beyond that, though, I'm afraid I may be deemed by the Foundation to be a… "hazard to cognition". I cannot remember the exact term. Such anomalies are viewed as exceptionally hazardous by the Foundation, and were I to be seen as one… no… I can't go back there. I can't be a prisoner again, used as nothing more than an object for the indulgences of others or deprived of human contact just for being what I am. There has to be a way to fix this on my own, without the Foundation learning this. -Maeve

Shortly after the completion of this entry, I remembered that this journal was sure to be read by the Foundation's staff at some point. I apologize for my apparent dishonesty, I was in a panic. I… I just need to figure out a way of explaining the dangers of my Tears without it resulting in me being locked away. Please understand I mean no ill intent.

3/24/2020: Dr. Jean collided with me once again in the medical wing. Thankfully we had already successfully treated the patient, so nobody was harmed. Jean landed directly on top of me though, in a rather suggestive manner. If I was previously uncertain about him being addicted to the Tears, I am now positive he is. Gods. He already smells better. As he attempted to rise to his feet, I found my hands upon his thighs. I experienced a rush of emotions I could not quite process. I am thankful my mostly blank visage prevents most people from reading my emotions. I swear I would have been blushing profusely were I capable of such a thing. Wait, why am I writing of this incident while smiling? This is not a good thing, not by a long-shot! But, I cannot deny, feeling him atop me like that… it was kind of nice. Certainly got my heart racing. Alas, doubt tinges my excitement. Jean has never said verbatim that he was interested in me, and I haven't worked up the courage to ask. I suppose I'm afraid that… he might simply want the Tears, and spares not a thought for me. Oh Mary, why is it so difficult to distinguish between addiction and desire? -Maeve

4/5/2020: Oh, I am a fool! I finally had a realization I wish I'd had long ago! During our recorded talks together, Dr. Toussaint's warm demeanor always went cold the moment I implied anything of a suggestive nature. After asking him candidly, it all seems so obvious now. Dr. Toussaint is simply not interested in women! I feel no resentment or anger at this, more embarrassment that I did not catch it sooner. I am usually quite good at reading people, especially men. I suppose such knowledge is welcome, though, because it helps prevent future misunderstandings. Plus, I still have Jean, and he's more enamored with me than ever.

… right? Or… or is it just the Tears? Does he actually want me or does he simply want another "hit"? Maybe he is attracted to me, but only in body? I cannot continue writing with my hands shaking so. I need to process these feelings. -Maeve

4/6/2020: Jean spoke frankly with me today about his need for more of Mary's Tears. This actually works to my advantage, because if I can adequately control the dosage, I may be able to help him build a tolerance to their addictive symptoms. An improvised Ritual of Thalassa without the correct materials. It's actually more dangerous than it sounds. I've read a few books on addiction, and most of them state that as sufferers build up a tolerance to the substances they abuse, they start to crave more and more. The Ritual of Thalassa should be able to mitigate this risk, but without the right equipment I know not how to control the dosage of Mary's Tears. This will be dangerous, but I don't think there's another way I can fix the situation. Jean spoke to me today of an anomalous drink dispenser the Foundation was containing in another site. Apparently a man had ordered "the perfect drink" from it, and upon finishing its contents, he took his own life because nothing in this world could possibly compare to its taste. I am worried Jean was making a veiled threat, of some variant. That he might harm himself if I were to refuse him the Tears. He is such a kind man, I do not wish for such a fate to befall him. As much as I despise having to play such underhanded schemes with the Foundation, I can't abide Jean harming himself because of me. -7032

5/1/2020: I find it rather amusing in hindsight that Jean only asked my name today, after we've known eachother for this long. I guess it's a side-effect of working in such a sanitized place, where the items contained are seen as objects, rather than people. I understand this to an extent, and I suspect it's helped protect more personnel from exposure to my Tears. It just feels… lonely… being called solely by a number. Hells, I accidentally signed my name as "7032" a month ago! Anyways, my work in building up Jean's tolerance to the Tears is proving… difficult. It is challenging to control the exact amount I supply him with because it coats the entirety of my skin, and multiple times now he's reached his hands out to dose himself before I could stop him. I've tried politely rebuking him, acting more sternly, nothing seems to work. He is like… like a child in a candy store. How could he possibly have just one candy when there are thousands ripe for the taking? -Maeve

5/10/2020: I am reminded of an old proverb I was taught at the Convent. Mother Mary, accompanied by her Apostles, was walking down a long dirt rode on her way to the city of Sodom when she came upon an old man who appeared to be injured, lying on the side of the road. Mary approached, took one look at the man, and proceeded to stomp on his throat until his head rolled free of his body. When asked by her Apostles why she did such a thing, she pulled open the man's robes, revealing his concealed armor of leather and a dagger in his hand. It was clear the man intended to assault her, Mary claimed, but the Apostles disagreed. Mary simply felt pity for them, for they lacked her sight and her wisdom. Mary knew of the dangers the man posed because she was given the ability to sense such things. She could not, however, convince her followers to believe her. I cannot help seeing myself as Mary, in this story. I guess that would make Jean the old man, except… except I do not wish to stomp on Jean's throat. Surely… surely Mary would understand if I attempted to resolve the situation nonviolently first? I want to be with him, addict or not! There… there has to be another way… -Maeve

5/16/2020: His desire is truly something to behold, Jean's. I can feel his eyes on me at all times now, wanting me, coveting me. I allowed him to see me without the robes on this time - I dare not elaborate further for fear of giggling like a fool. Even as I write this my heart races. For moments at a time, now, I almost completely forget how dangerous this is. His aroma is quite alluring now, but according to Dr. Toussaint, Jean doesn't wear cologne. This is not ideal, for there is only one other explanation. Each day my desire to meet him seems to grow, and it's becoming more difficult to refuse anything he asks of me. I don't even think I want to. I keep telling myself ensuring his safety is the priority, but if I ever let my guard down for even a second, the man I fell for shines through and it becomes hard to think straight. He will not even listen to my warnings anymore, and every time we talk, I find myself distracted from my goal of protecting him. Oh, how I feel like a Siren, cursed to lead men astray! I open my mouth to warn him to stay away, and yet my voice only draws him closer. Speaking with Dr. Toussaint has helped me calm my nerves some. I daren't tell him of Jean's condition, but just hearing his voice helps keep me focused on my task. I have to save Jean from himself. I know I can, I just need more time. -Maeve

7/20/2020: The nerve of the man! While tending to the wounds of a Foundation agent today, I suddenly came to feel Jean's hands upon my hips. It only lasted for a second, but I can't stop thinking about it now. Such teasing is really starting to get to me, even if… I can no longer tell if his desire is genuine, or simply the effects of the Tears. I find myself hoping it is the former. At least then I wouldn't feel so guilty about how my heart races at the thought of him, now. -Maeve

1/2/2021: Shortly before writing this, I overheard Jean speaking with a number of D-class about me. They didn't stop when I walked into view, either. I could feel their eyes upon me, and I would be lying if I did not say it felt at least somewhat exciting. The excitement was tinged with unease, though, because of the danger this poses. None of those D-class had touched me - at least, not while uninjured - so I know they aren't under the influence of the Tears. Unless… unless… could Jean have stolen some without my knowledge? I know not how he could do such a thing, since the Tears do not remain long in their liquid form. And surely if he was able to store samples of the Tears he would only keep them for himself, right? I know I can't ask Jean directly, so I can't verify anything until I have more proof. The looks those D-class gave me, though, they reminded me so much of Jean's… -Maeve

5/23/2021: Mary did not conceive of the Tears out of malice. They were intended to carry the power of Healing in it's purest form, an anathema to pain. What Mary did not foresee was how pain would evolve over time. Pain as we know it now is not always physical in nature. Sometimes people can be broken without having suffered a scratch. The Tears… they started fixing more than just the open wounds, they provided a relief from the trauma as well. Oh, how I wish it were only that simple… for… if you step before a roaring hearth after a night in a winter storm, it feels like paradise. But if one were to snuff out those flames again, would the cold not feel twice as biting? I think I understand now why Jean cannot break free of their hold. Something in him is broken, broken beyond all hope of repair. Before he met me, he did not know he was broken. It was only when the relief of the Tears faded that he became truly aware of his pain. I fear this is beyond my skill to fix, but my desire to save him has not abated. I will… I have to… I must keep going, lest he destroy himself and me along with him. -Maeve

6/10/2021: We did it today. We found the time, we found a nice quiet place, and we cast our clothes aside and let our needs take over. He took my hands in his, but they did not go numb this time. He was safe, safe from me, and I was ready. That's when I woke up from the dream. If I could cry, I feel I would. I've never felt so lost, so torn between so many conflicting feelings! I want to help others and heal them. I want to uphold my oaths to Mother Mary. I want to be with Jean. Jean and I cannot safely interact unless he is protected from the Tears, but to properly conduct the ritual I would need to betray the Convent's secrets. I can currently use my abilities in a benevolent way, but only by concealing the dangers of the Tears from the Foundation. I want to court with Jean now, but doing so would put his life at risk! This blessing that Mary gave me… each day it feels more and more like a curse! A jest at my expense! My cell is locked each night, but my true prison is circumstance! The only thing I want is someone I can safely hold. I shouldn't have to… I should not have to compromise my ideals for that… -Maeve

6/19/2021: I prayed. I prayed and I've been praying for days upon days now for any way to fix this. I've tried speaking to Jean about his pain, but I do not know if he can even hear my words anymore. He plays the part before the Foundation. At a glance he might even seem perfectly normal. Only I can perceive the twitching of his hands whenever he needs another dose. The tension in his shoulders when he thinks of me. Whenever we meet now, I find myself playing along with his requests despite my reservations. I know why, though I dare not put it in writing for fear of giving it sway over me. His scent… gods… it's only getting worse - and by worse I mean better.

7/10/2021: Originally I could not distinguish between Jean's desire and his addiction. Now, I fear I cannot distinguish between my desire and my hunger. My dreams… they alternate between loving embraces and feral predation. They're even starting to blend together. I am not some mindless monster, but… the gift I was given came with strings attached. I wasn't just made to ease pain and cleanse wounds, I was made to punish those who would abuse Mary's gifts. Do such abusers deserve punishment if they are compelled like Jean is? I know not. I cannot read minds. I cannot tell if he drenches his hands in the Tears out of recklessness and greed, or out of desperation and fear. I tried to ask him tonight. I was able to push him away before he could touch my skin, and in that moment I asked him "Do you love me, or just the drugs?"

Then, he…

He froze, as if trying to comprehend my words. He opened his mouth to speak, but then tried to embrace me. While I was distracted he'd managed to touch my hand, and whatever was left of the Jean I knew slipped back beneath the haze of the drug. Before the Tears took over, I could've sworn I saw him shed a tear. It's meaning eludes me. Was it out of fear that Mary's Tears were controlling him? Was it the trauma of his childhood resurfacing as he went into withdrawal? Was it out of regret for ever loving me? Did I just imagine the tear in the first place? Jean… I'm sorry… I don't know if I can save you from myself. I wish you didn't fall in love with a monster like me. -Maevellin Arthas Sanguinea, or whatever is left of her

9/15/2021: He told me of a plan for us to finally be together. I think. I think that's what it was. Most of it was incoherent babbling. I heard something about a "breach", I assume meaning a breach of containment. Of what I daren't begin to guess. I'm sorry, Jean. I truly am. I tried everything I could think of to save you from yourself… and myself. I should've warned Dr. Toussaint, but I was so… so afraid of being locked away in some dark, lightless cell. A typical, rational woman would be in utter anguish in my position, knowing what was to come. Whatever regret I feel… felt… is being smothered by my instincts. I fear they are growing stronger now. So, so much stronger. I can no longer distinguish between my desire to be with him and my desire to…

Oh, how lust can so swiftly turn to gluttony.

9/15/2021: I hear screaming and gunfire. I was in the medical wing when it happened. The guards assigned to watch over me are… gone… and I'm alone. I suppose it is a relief, because as I write this, I no longer feel entirely myself. When Jean touched me this past time, my heart raced, but not like before. I could feel his pulse, hear his heartbeat. It almost made me salivate. I know such feelings are wrong, but I cannot fight them. The part of me that cared for this man is smothered under whatever writes this letter now. Jean is so saturated with the Tears at this point, I know where he is by his scent alone. I can smell him from exactly 457 feet and 8 inches away. I feel the pull… the need… to hunt. Even as I write I find my claws twitching, as if desperate to pin Jean and drink my fill. I wish I could… I wish I could hang onto that feeling of regret. As painful as it was, it at least made me feel more… human. Now, though… I feel starving now, more than anything else. I feel feral. Like I haven't eaten in years. I'm two hallways away and I still know exactly what room he's in. I'm just so…

so hungry…

Addendum 7032-3, Interview-7032-I-15 One month after Incident-7032-03R, SCP-7032 made a request for a final interview with Dr. Louis Toussaint, before his departure from Site-06-3. Findings in this interview resulted in the creation of Procedure 3290-THALASSA, a method to protect Foundation personnel from the addictive properties of SCP-7032-A. MTF-Theta-16 "Nuns and Roses" was formed to oversee all medical operations involving SCP-7032, as well as protect the entity from individuals within the "Church of Our Lady Wreathed In Sanguine Veil", and other groups who might wish to apprehend it.

Interviewer: Dr. Louis Toussaint

Interviewed: SCP-7032

Date: 10/15/2021

<Begin Log>

Toussaint: Alright… here we go. How are you feeling today, Maeve?

SCP-7032: That's… that's the first time I've heard you call me that.

Toussaint: Hah, well it's not like they can do much more to me. Anyways, I'm… deeply sorry for everything that's happened.

SCP-7032: Don't apologize to me, doctor. You took responsibility to protect me, but you are not at fault. The fault lies with me.

Toussaint: I know this must be hard for you. I wish I could say I'd be here for you, but…

SCP-7032: Fuck this.

Toussaint: Pardon?

SCP-7032: My Sisters at the Convent pulled me every which way with their conflicting ideals and disregard of Mary's teachings. Half believed I was some trollop, some party-girl, and half believed I was merely a set of hands to stitch wounds and soothe pain with. Neither side could reconcile, so I removed myself from the conflict. But you know what? They were right.

Toussaint: Maeve, no, you're not…

SCP-7032: You aren't getting it. All this time my sense of duty had been at war with my desire to be free. Was I a surgeon or a courtesan? Jean died because I could not choose… but now I've finally come to realize… I'm both. I don't have to choose. I never did! My duties as a healer need not come into conflict with my ability to live a full life!

Toussaint: This seems like quite the turnaround, Maeve.

SCP-7032: Doctor, Mary made me a monster. A beautiful, beautiful monster, to serve as a living embodiment of her teachings. I was given her Tears to heal those in need, whilst those that sought to abuse her Tears, I was compelled to consume. I once thought this was the point. That those who recklessly indulge in the gifts of the Goddess were doomed to choke upon them. I now realize my gift isn't a warning for others, it's a lesson for me. A lighthouse does not rely on its size alone to steer ships away from its jagged shores. The lighthouse must work, it must shine its light through the darkness to keep the sailors safe. The gifts I was given could do wonderful things, but if misused could cause great pain. In order for me to keep the greatest number of people safe, and keep myself happy, I have to stand up for myself. Doctor, there is a way to protect potential addicts from the influence of Mary's Tears. The Ritual of Thalassa. I can provide you a list of all the materials you'll need. You can acquire them all by simply raiding the Convent.

Toussaint: Is this not betraying your Sisters?

SCP-7032: Damn them, they aren't my Sisters anymore. All this time I thought Mary and her followers shared the same ideals, but it is clear to me now that they do not. When they started hosting those godforsaken parties, they started telling me it's what Mary would've wanted. But aren't such actions unsafe? Those opposed would shout at me, telling me to never even speak to men. But what about moderation, the Goddess's greatest tenet? How dare I question the Goddess's wishes, they said. As if they even cared. It's clear to me now, Mary's Church has forgotten her and her teachings. They used me - her herald - for their own personal gain. The Sisters, they bottled and sold Mary's Tears on the black markets, and likely hurt thousands of people. The recent opiate epidemic? That was them. They are beyond hope of redemption, thus I am certain this is what Mary would want. If I am the only true follower of Mary left in the world, so be it. I will not forsake her as easily as they did.

Toussaint: Maeve… if these statements prove to be true, your testimony here will surely save many lives.

SCP-7032: I'm not doing it for anyone but myself. I'm tired of being used, and I'm tired of having to constantly fear that my desires will harm others. Those who undergo the Ritual of Thalassa will be protected from my influence, allowing them to touch me safely.

Toussaint: I think I see where this is going…

SCP-7032: Jean was a good man led to his ruin by my fear. If I had come to you sooner, he may yet be alive, but I could not trust your Foundation to use my gifts responsibly. If I am to use my gifts for good, I can't let anyone use them for me. I can't expect anyone else to be responsible, for the gifts belong to me. That's why I wish to be the only one to perform the Ritual of Thalassa. I want to be the one who protects your men from myself, so that the next time I am drawn to one of your researchers, I don't end up harming them inadvertently. You get your expert healer and your Mary's Tears, I get my freedom.

Toussaint: To be clear, you're not asking for freedom from this facility, are you?

SCP-7032: Oh Heavens no. I know not how to wield a firearm, and there are surely members of the Convent out searching for me as we speak. Whilst I could - for the record - escape whenever I so desired, there is no reason for me to do so. The world out there… it's not for me. It is a prison with no walls. Within the confines of this facility, however… at least I can have some semblance of peace.

<End Log>

Procedure 3290-THALASSA:

Further testing of SCP-7032-A indicates that its detrimental properties only manifest within individuals not suffering from physical injuries. Exactly how SCP-7032-A can distinguish between injured and uninjured hosts is currently unknown. Prolonged abuse of SCP-7032-A gradually reduces a subject's capacity for rational thought, and causes the subject to emit a pheromone that - in high enough concentrations - can cause SCP-7032 to enter a feral state, where it will attempt to attack and consume the subject at all costs. In order to minimize the risk of attack without compromising the utility of SCP-7032 to the Foundation, the following procedure has been enacted:

+ Show Details of Procedure 3290-THALASSA

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Following the events of Incident-7032-03R, a raid was conducted on the "Church of Our Lady Wreathed In Sanguine Veil" to recover the equipment needed for the "Ritual of Thalassa", a procedure intended to inoculate individuals against the addictive effects of SCP-7032-A. Most of the items required for the ritual are anomalous in nature, but only during the ritual itself. The following supervisor-approved ritual is to be conducted on all members of MTF-Theta-16 "Nuns and Roses", as well as on any Foundation personnel who have made physical contact with SCP-7032.

1. A large collar of bronze with various markings in Aramaic surrounding the perimeter (henceforth referred to as SCP-7032-C) is placed around the neck of the Subject. Testing has shown the original collar must be used; Foundation-made substitutes do not function as intended.

2. SCP-7032, standing in a basin of ash wood with engravings matching the collar (henceforth referred to as SCP-7032-D), consumes one pint of human blood from a bowl (no specific vessel is required) before reciting the following incantation: "The blood and tears shall quell my fears as I submit my hand. The one I choose I shall not lose for they shall bear my brand." Successful recitation will begin drawing SCP-7032-A from SCP-7032's skin into the basin. Notably, SCP-7032-A will not evaporate during this process. SCP-7032 will repeat this incantation until the basin is completely filled.

3. Several vintage syringes (henceforth referred to as SCP-7032-E1-E7) are filled with SCP-7032-A from the basin before being inserted into the circular ports on SCP-7032-C. All seven instances of SCP-7032-E must be checked to ensure they have pierced the Subject's skin.

4. SCP-7032 leaves the basin and moves to face Subject. The remaining SCP-7032-A within the basin can be bottled and stored for later use if collected before completion of the ritual. SCP-7032 uses its claws to pierce the skin of its wrists and induce bleeding. SCP-7032 lets its blood drip onto the Subject's head and body while reciting the incantation from Step-2. Blood should appear to travel along Subject's body before flowing into SCP-7032-C. Once all blood is contained within SCP-7032-C, the ritual is considered complete. For the next 13 days, SCP-7032-C will operate on its own, gradually injecting small amounts of SCP-7032-A into Subject. It is considered normal for Subject to experience unusually strong positive emotions during this process. Once this process is complete, SCP-7032-C will detach from the Subject on its own, allowing another ritual to be conducted.

All personnel subjected to Procedure 3290-THALASSA are required to file daily reports on their physical and mental health for at minimum 365 days after completion of the ritual. Those experiencing symptoms of opiate addiction, Porphyria, and/or unusual attraction to SCP-7032 must contact site supervisors immediately. SCP-7032 is not considered responsible for activation of its hunting instincts related to any personnel intentionally abusing SCP-7032-A.

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Footnotes

1. See Addendum 7032-1

2. See Details of Procedure 3166-IRVINE

3. European Medicinal Leech

4. Further testing suggests SCP-7032's sense of smell is far stronger than the average human, easily on par with a Bloodhound.

5. See Addendum 7032-3