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

SCP-5607 "Urine too deep" by: DrAkimoto

★ DrAkimoto's Author Page ★

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Crit Credit: Hexick, MalyceGraves, Sirslash47, Calibold

3/5607 LEVEL 3/5607

CLASSIFIED

Item #: SCP-5607

Safe

Assigned Site
Site Director
Research Head
Assigned MTF

Site-52
Dr. Richard Nylen
Dr. Cooper Millgate
Epsilon-19 ("Hard Point")

Special Containment Procedures

SCP-5607 is held within a specialized medical stasis unit in Research Lab 14-B, at Site-52. All basic life functions are supported through the stasis unit and maintained by the Research and Development Division.

SCP-5607-1 is to be extracted via a catheter and stored within pressurized biologic storage tanks. The extracted SCP-5607-1 is given to Development Team 14 to be repurposed into Compound-5607/P.

Description

SCP-5607 within its stasis unit.

SCP-5607 is theorized to be an extraplanetary humanoid entity originating from outside of the Sol System. Measuring 11 cm in height, SCP-5607 is bipedal, with elongated arms, and a large head relative to its body (approximately 4 cm in diameter). Similar in biological function to native Earth plants, SCP-5607 subsists off water, UV radiation, and carbon dioxide. Since its discovery, SCP-5607 remains in a self-induced comatose state, though all bodily functions are fully operational.

SCP-5607 was discovered in 1976, during a Foundation-backed mission to the lunar surface. During surveying operations in the Montes Secchi range, astronauts discovered a disk-shaped vessel (designated SCP-5607-0). After SCP-5607 and its stasis container were removed from SCP-5607-0, a self-destruct sequence initiated leading to the destruction of the vessel in its entirety. The salvaged remains were declared unsuitable for experimentation and subsequently left at the point of discovery (2.65°N 42.97°E, Montes Secchi, Earth 1).

SCP-5607-0 prior to its destruction.

SCP-5607-1 is the designation for urine created by SCP-5607 and is currently considered anomalous due to an unexplained biological reaction caused by its inhalation. During the examination of the spacesuit worn by SCP-5607, an unusual urine disposal method was discovered. Utilizing a catheter and an advanced vaporization unit, the suit redistributed vaporized SCP-5607-1 through the respiratory systems. Inhalation of SCP-5607-1 was subsequently tested on 28 different species, including humans. These tests concluded that SCP-5607-1 unilaterally causes a substantial increase in physical and mental dexterity, far beyond pre-exposure parameters. It is theorized that this facilitates the acuity needed for piloting the high-speed interstellar vessel used by SCP-5607.

SCP-5607 Project Proposal

PISS Device.

The Research and Development Division has developed an inhalation device utilizing Compound-5607/P, an SCP-5607-1 derivative capable of a temporary and substantial increase in the effectiveness of Mobile Task Force agents. The device was designated the Personal Inhalant Service Stimulant, or PISS device. Testing concluded a ~175% increase in performance-related scoring in all participants.1 The R&D division requests the use of a high-engagement Mobile Task Force in order to test the long-term use of the PISS Device.

MTF Administration: Approved

Site Director: Approved

Ethics Committee: Approved

Dr. Cooper Millgate and Development Team 14 are hereby granted a six-month trial for the operational use of PISS Devices utilizing MTF Epsilon-19, under the supervision of Captain Luke Wells. Further stipulations and requirements are available to applicable personnel.

Access SCP-5607 Project Requests

Access Granted

1998/02/15

To: Dr. Cooper Millgate

From: Captain Luke Wells

Subject: Flavoring

Dr. Millgate, my men have been apprehensive about using your compound due to the taste, which has been described as "sour cat piss flavored". I was hoping your team could develop a more palatable flavoring for the PISS Devices.

To: Captain Luke Wells

From: Dr. Cooper Millgate

Subject: Re:Flavoring

An understandable request, Captain Wells, next week's batch will have new flavoring. Will cherry be suitable for your men?

To: Dr. Cooper Millgate

From: Captain Luke Wells

Subject: Re:Re:Flavoring

Dr. Millgate, cherry would work fine, the general consensus is for either cherry or grape. So whichever is easier on your end, thank you.

1998/02/28

To: Dr. Cooper Millgate

From: Captain Luke Wells

Subject: Update

Dr. Millgate, the new flavoring is satisfactory to say the least, mixed berry was an excellent middle ground. My men have begun using the devices during almost every engagement. This week alone we cleared 17 successful recovery missions. I would like to request an additional 12 units for our next delivery.

To: Captain Luke Wells

From: Dr. Cooper Millgate

Subject: Re:Update

I am glad to hear the new flavor is to your men's liking, Captain. I am likewise pleased in the successful missions, though I would like to remind you that Compound-5607/P is for high-intensity situations and should not be overused. Additional devices will be included in your next shipment.

1998/03/12

To: Captain Luke Wells

From: Dr. Cooper Millgate

Subject: Empty canister return.

Captain Wells, while I am thrilled with our results over the past few weeks, I have an area of concern that needs to be addressed. As per the protocol laid out in our trial, all empty Compound-5607/P canisters must be returned upon delivery of the next shipment. The last two weeks you were short eight canisters.

Please make sure your men return the canisters once they've been depleted.

To: Dr. Cooper Millgate

From: Captain Luke Wells

Subject: Re:Empty canister return.

Dr. Millgate, it has come to my attention that several of my men have been keeping the spent canisters to get the "final bits" during tight situations. Two other operatives threw away their canister by mistake. I will make sure this does not happen again.

To: Captain Luke Wells

From: Dr. Cooper Millgate

Subject: Re:Re:Empty canister return.

Please do make sure this does not happen again, I would hate to jeopardize the program due to simple oversights. I will be sending additional canisters with your next shipment to ensure that saving spent canisters is unnecessary.

1998/04/02

To: Dr. Cooper Millgate

From: Captain Luke Wells

Subject: More PISS

Due to an incident I am unauthorized to disclose, my team will be taking on twice the number of assigned missions. In response, I would like to double the number of devices received in our next shipment.

To: Captain Luke Wells

From: Dr. Cooper Millgate

Subject: Re:More PISS

Captain, we are incapable of producing that many devices at this time. At most I can include an additional 16 units, but any more would require additional funding and an expansion of current facilities. I do apologize for any inconvenience this may cause.

1998/04/04

To: Dr. Cooper Millgate

From: Captain Luke Wells

Subject: Incident

I regret to inform you that our last shipment has been misplaced or thrown away by mistake. We received and signed for it yesterday, but it came during our resupply and must have gotten lost in the confusion. We are still scheduled to take on missions and would greatly appreciate another batch. Thanks, Doctor.

To: Captain Luke Wells

From: Dr. Cooper Millgate

Subject: Re:Incident

Captain Wells, we can send another shipment tomorrow, it will arrive the day after. Please do be more careful in the future, we can not afford such losses.

1998/05/01

To: Captain Luke Wells

From: Dr. Cooper Millgate

Subject: The end.

It is with great displeasure that I must inform you that our trial has been ended prematurely. Due to the high cost/time expenditure required for the project and that my expertise is needed elsewhere, O5 has deemed the project inconclusive and will place the remaining compound on ice along with SCP-5607. I give you and your men my utmost gratitude for your assistance in this endeavor.

To: Dr. Cooper Millgate

From: Captain Luke Wells

Subject: Re:The end.

We find this to be unacceptable, we rely on those PISS's to get our job done. You must make an appeal. You're smart, you'll figure it out, there has to be a way.

To: Captain Luke Wells

From: Dr. Cooper Millgate

Subject: Re:Re:The end.

While I understand your situation and appreciate your confidence, there is simply nothing I can do. I've been ordered to move everything into storage this afternoon. By this time tomorrow, I'll be across the country working on another project. Medical staff will ensure your men are taken care of if there are any concerns. It's been a pleasure working with you Captain Wells, I wish you and your men the best of luck.

EMERGENCY RELAY 1998/05/01

To: Site Director | Dr. Richard Nylen

Cc: Site 51 Internal Security

From: Dr. Cooper Millgate

Subject: PLEASE HELP

I don't know how they got in here, but Epsilon-19 is in my lab and is currently holding my staff hostage. They're demanding more PISS– they've already shot one of my junior researchers. Please send security ASAP.

To: Dr. Cooper Millgate

From: Security Captain Mike Lenardo

Subject: Re:PLEASE HELP

We are aware of the situation, Doc. I have a team currently attempting to enter the lab. Breach security protocols have been activated from the inside, so we're having trouble entering. Please standby for further instructions.

To: Security Captain Mike Leonardo

Cc: Site Director | Dr. Richard Nylen

From: Dr. Cooper Millgate

Subject: Re:Re:PLEASE HELP

They're not acting rationally, I can't reason with them. We are giving them the PISS we have left, they want us to start making more– I'll go through the motions but please hurry, we don't actually have the necessary ingredients and I can only stall for so long.

To: Dr. Cooper Millgate

From: Security Captain Mike Lenardo

Subject: Re:Re:Re:PLEASE HELP

They've snuck a two-man strike team out of the lab. They're all juiced up on PISS and have taken out my security detail. We've sealed the corridor and are reformulating our approach, please standby for further instructions.

To: Dr. Cooper Millgate

From: Site Director | Dr. Richard Nylen

Subject: Thank you.

Due to the risk of allowing this situation to run its course, incendiary sterilization protocols will be initiated. On behalf of the Foundation, I thank you and your staff for your services. Please standby.

THIS SCENARIO WAS BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE FOUNDATION MTF ADMINISTRATION

Say NO to performance-enhancing drugs and ALWAYS report suspicious behavior, regardless of the source.

This situation was extrapolated from real events for training purposes, names and designations have been altered for privacy.

Footnotes

1. Testing and performance results are available upon request.