Item #: SCP-1472-J

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: Each SCP-1472-J instance is to be either in use at one of SCR's properties or stored at any Foundation site with an adequate Safe-class containment area at any given time. During transportation, SCP-1472-J instances are to be secured in the back of the vehicle and covered with a protective opaque tarp. To deter civilian inquiries and tampering, the vehicle in question is to be flagged with standard transport warning 'corrosive' and 'radioactive' placards.

The front cover of the South Coast Realty Guaranteed Listings Informational Flier!™ Click to enlarge!

When installing an SCP-1472-J instance on-site on one of SCR's properties, the area is to be secured by no fewer than three qualified Foundation personnel equipped with the following:

At least one flashlight;

At least one handheld radio, standard Foundation network cell phone, or similar communication device;

At least one Mark IV (or higher) Miniaturized Portable Scranton Reality Anchor1 (Mk. IV MPSRA)2 rated to at least eight Humes;

At least three copies of the South Coast Realty Guaranteed Listings Informational Flier!™;

At least two spray cans of Class-A amnestics, in case of civilian intervention.

Description: SCP-1472-J is any one of 35 instances of a large, primarily metallic device3 which, when activated, emits a faint red light, low levels of microwave and infrared radiation, and a Hume resistance field of anywhere from one to seven Humes.

SCP-1472-J instances are anomalous in that they do not require a constant power supply despite using an estimated 2,000 watts when powered on; they instead function reliably for several years at a time with no electrical input other than that of the initial input. Site-81 R&D personnel cite never having installed capacitors capable of this level of power conservation during prototype stages, and it is not understood how SCP-1472-J instances developed this function. Further research is ongoing.4

Currently there are 35 registered SCP-1472-J devices; two are derelict and no longer safe for field application, 27 are in use at SCR properties, and six are held in storage at Sites -81 and -12. SCR has 27 listed properties across the continental United States, all of which are former sites of anomalous activity purchased by the Foundation for research5.

SCP-1472-J instances are used on-site at properties listed by South Coast Realty for the purposes of continued protection from reality-affecting anomalous events, stabilization of the area6, and increase of property value.

+ show five most recent SCR listings

- collapse, just like the 2008 housing market!

SRA Location On-Site: Upper right corner of lot, installed one meter underneath new landscaping (inaccessible; estimated life of device is ~17 years)

SRA in Use: #02

Baseline Hume Level Set: 3.3

Date of Installation: 02.01.17

SRA Location On-Site: Driveway, installed two meters underneath new concrete, accessible from padlocked access gate in nearby city sewage system

SRA in Use: #10

Baseline Hume Level Set: 4.6

Date of Installation: 01.24.17

SRA Location On-Site: Underneath garage, accessible from keycard-locked hidden door in basement

SRA in Use: #08

Baseline Hume Level Set: 1.7

Date of Installation: 01.15.17

SRA Location On-Site: East side of lot, buried under two meters of fresh soil and bushes (inaccessible; estimated life of device is ~15 years)

SRA in Use: #14

Baseline Hume Level Set: 3.1

Date of Installation: 01.08.17

SRA Location On-Site: Underneath garage, accessible from keycard-locked hidden door in basement

SRA in Use: #20

Baseline Hume Level Set: 2.4

Date of Installation: 12.31.16

History: The first intentional SCP-1472-J prototype was developed in 2009 as a joint effort between Site-81 R&D and South Coast Realty7 in order to facilitate an organized, consistent, and safe manner of confirming property which was formerly anomalous can indeed be safely sold to the public Foundation personnel, retired Foundation personnel, or members of neutral or non-hostile Groups of Interest.

SCP-1472-J was originally planned for development as the Mark VIII iteration of the Foundation standard Scranton Reality Anchor, but through errors in development was found to be dysfunctional, with an upper containment limit of only seven Humes8 Thus, the blueprint and all related research was scrapped, and a new iteration of the Mark VIII standard SRA was developed. However, the failed prototype was then picked up by agents of South Coast Realty, who cited its large size and low Hume control capabilities as being "perfect for that shitty-ass lot out in SCP-████'s area; god, I fucking hate that place, but if I can close it at 275 grand during this housing market crash, I'll win the monthly company competition, so I'll be damned."9 Following this, Site-81 R&D oversight approved collaborative research efforts between themselves and Foundation front company South Coast Realty, and signed over all internal Foundation usage and development rights to SCR agents. Following this, SCP-1472-J instances were put into use with approval from all involved departments.

Footnotes

1. Not to be confused with SCP-1472-J instances, which are commonly referred to as "Scranton Realty Anchors"

2.

Blueprint Information:

Mk. IV Miniaturized Portable Scranton Reality Anchor

Mk. IV MPSRA V 1.1 released to Foundation records database 02.07.17

Released by creator (████ ██████) under Foundation standard CC-by-SA-3.0 parameters

Developed by ████ ██████ for Foundation R&D Dept. 03 Site-81

Click here to enlarge. For more information, please search Site-81 R&D archives.

3. See History.

4. But why bother, when this means Guaranteed Closings!™?

5. When a piece of land is found to show anomalous activity, the Foundation will often purchase the land (█████, ███████. History of Foundation Methods and Containment. Site-19, 2008.) in order to safely observe it and prevent government or civilian interference, before declaring it safe or unsafe and reselling it or condemning it, respectively.

6. Shaw, Agent R. All Anomalous Events in Existence and Their Sources Can be Summarized by the Existence of Humes and Those of You Who Say Otherwise Can Suck My Dick. Site-12, 2012.

7.

The Foundation's real estate company, formed in 1997 with the goal of remodeling and selling formerly anomalous land and homes upon post-containment confirmation of safe or no anomalous activity.

8. For comparison, modern full-size Scranton Reality Anchors have a capacity of up to 65 Humes.

9. Sawyer, Agent J. (2009, July 20). Personal interview.