Item #: SCP-5692

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5692 is currently held in a modified humanoid containment chamber at Site-29. The cell has altered temperature/atmospheric conditions to accommodate the subject’s physiology, the specifications of which are outlined in Document-5692-11. SCP-5692 is to be fed a concentrated mixture of amino acids, simple sugars, and ionic phosphates every 12-15 hours. The specifications for the preparation of this mixture are outlined in Document-5692-13.

Class-A amnestics are authorized to be used on all parties associated with the containment of SCP-5692-A instances. Specific methods for the containment of instances of SCP-5629-A are to be determined on a case-by-case basis by participating operatives. Contained instances of SCP-5692-A are to be held in Site-29 with containment conditions appropriate to their physiological needs. These conditions may be determined through research of the subject or by using information provided by the subject. Further information regarding each contained instance of SCP-5692-A can be found on Documents-5692-(37-109).

Research into the biology, behavior, and prior activities of SCP-5692 as well as instances of SCP-5692-A are currently being conducted under the supervision of Dr. Verner, head of the Extraterrestrial Anomaly Division of Site-29. Any concerns or inquires regarding the research or containment of SCP-5692 or instances of SCP-5692-A are to be directed to Dr. Verner.

Description: SCP-5692 is a slug-like sapient organism of extraterrestrial origin measuring 2.3 m in length and folded backwards at the midpoint of its body to allow its anterior half to be aligned perpendicular to the ground. SCP-5692 possesses a head with a pair of large red eyes, an elongated, tube-shaped mouthpart, and two clusters of small pores on either side designed to facilitate respiration. SCP-5692 possesses a pair of stalk-like organs on either side of its torso, each ending in a round, sensitive organ capable of sprouting a number of flexible mycelium-like protrusions at will. The protrusions have been confirmed by SCP-5692 to be a means of reproduction and environmental manipulation. SCP-5692 is a dull orange in colour with dark and light countershading similar to many marine animals.

SCP-5692 was recovered on October ██, 2014 from a small cabin in a forest near ███████, Oregon after several reports of UFO activity in the region were investigated by Foundation operatives. The incident was contained without incident and upon being confronted by operatives, SCP-5692 surrendered willingly into Foundation custody. SCP-5692 has been cooperative with Foundation staff since its containment and appears to answer most inquiries with sincerity.

SCP-5692 is able to communicate using of a small electronic device embedded directly in its nervous system at the point where the structures analogous to a brain and ocular nerves meet. According to SCP-5692, the device is a translator capable of processing various methods of visual communication, including written words and the movement of lips, and directly implanting the abstract concepts they represent into the brain of SCP-5692.

This device is also capable of converting the thoughts of SCP-5692 into audible words and/or holographic projections of written language using a speaker/holographic emitter located directly below the skin between its eyes. Using this device, SCP-5692 can understand the top 250 most common spoken and written languages on Earth as well as several hundred forms of extraterrestrial communication. SCP-5692 claims that due to its placement, removal of this device would instantly result in its death. Removal of this device for further study is not authorized.

SCP-5692 is responsible for the integration of fifty to fifty-five extraterrestrial lifeforms, designated instances of SCP-5692-A, into Earth's societies and ecosystems between the years of 2001 and 2014, forty-two of which been have been successfully contained. The appearances and reasons for appearing on Earth vary drastically among instances of SCP-5692-A. All instances of SCP-5692-A are sapient and have previously engaged in business transactions with SCP-5692. The whereabouts and activity of all contained instances of SCP-5692-A were provided to Foundation personnel by SCP-5692 shortly after its initial containment.

Addenda:

Show Addendum-5692-1

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Addendum-5692-1

The following is an incomplete list of contained instances of SCP-5692-A. The recovery of all subjects took place within a few months of the containment of SCP-5692. Many instances of SCP-5692-A disguised themselves using a complex organic gel accompanied by a convincing prosthetic skin-covering. The composition of the gel varies depending on the physiology of the subject and is designed to simulate the musculature of the subject’s assumed identity. The gel is able to respond to neural inputs from the subject and is controlled as if it were the subject’s own body1.

All instances of SCP-5692-A observed thus far possess a translation/communication device similar to the one observed in SCP-5692. All human identities assumed by instances of SCP-5692-A are of people that had not existed prior to the subject's arrival on Earth and were accomplished by the forging of relevant documents.

Instance Number
Description
Recovery Report
Additional Information Provided by SCP-5692

SCP-5692-A-3
A reptilian humanoid entity measuring 1.8 m in height. The entity could change its outward appearance to resemble any human to an indistinguishable degree. Reasons for appearing on Earth are currently under investigation. Remains of the subject are currently held in Site-29’s Bio Lab.
The subject was found to be posing as a politics professor at ███████ University for several years. It is unknown if this is the only identity the subject assumed while on Earth. Upon discovery by Foundation operatives, the subject injected itself with an unknown chemical compound that converted all its bodily tissues, excluding its skin, into a thick, green, highly basic solution resulting in death in a matter of seconds.
“I’m not entirely sure why he came to me. He was more than capable of hiding on his own and by the sounds of things, he had some pretty powerful friends.”

SCP-5692-A-11
An organism superficially resembling a rodent with hairless white skin and measuring 0.8 m in length. The subject possesses 5 prehensile tails capable of manipulating its environment and lacks hind limbs, ears, and nostrils. The subject was apparently on Earth to hide from an extraterrestrial crime organization that it was formerly affiliated with.
The subject adopted the false identity of Ricky “Bambino” Buccelli and engaged in organized criminal activity in Chicago for a period of several years. The subject was contained without incident. On several occasions since its initial containment the subject has offered to exchange information about its former crime affiliates, both terrestrial and extraterrestrial, in exchange for freedom or special containment privileges.
“Once a rat, always a rat.”

SCP-5692-A-14
A silicon-based organism measuring 0.27 m in length resembling a translucent, grey cephalopod with 4 limbs and a cartilaginous endoskeleton. The subject was required to regularly consume sand to facilitate its bodily needs. According to the subject, it is a refugee of a massive interstellar war surrounding the Kepler-22 star system.
The subject used a highly specialized gel capable of supporting its metabolism and maintaining a convincing disguise as a common house cat2. The subject posed as a family pet in a Toronto apartment for several years before being recovered by Foundation operatives while attempting to feed stray cats outside its apartment complex at night.
“All the essentials come free and all you have to do is sit by the window when it’s sunny. Honestly, sounds like a pretty good gig… except for having to eat the litter.”

SCP-5692-A-23
A complex network of extraterrestrial algae forming structures analogous to neurons and synapses. The resulting entity is a sapient photosynthetic mat at the water’s surface capable of splitting into separate intelligences and regrouping multiple of these intelligences into a single entity. One isolated intelligence occupied a gel-based disguise of a 60-65-year-old Caucasian male. The totality of the subject is currently held in 27 large containment vats in the ecological anomaly section of Site-29.
The disguised portion of the subject was found to live in a small house at the edge of a swamp in the Florida Keys. Locals knew the individual as a reclusive eccentric known as “Bayou Bill”3. All information surrounding Bayou Bill was successfully removed from the surrounding area. Most of the subject was growing in a 3.4 km radius surrounding the house, causing major disturbances in the local ecosystem. The total recovery of the subject took 24 days due to its sprawling, decentralized nature. Despite claiming that its purpose on the planet was to research aquatic lifeforms, it is now believed that the subject was taking advantage of the environmental conditions of the swamp for growth and reproduction, the end goal of which remains uncertain.
“What, you think it was plotting a takeover? I doubt it… Come on now. How was I supposed to know anyway? He could fit in a glass of water when I met him. Besides, if your planet’s weak enough to be conquered by seagrass, maybe that’s just natural selection.”

SCP-5692-A-29
A 1.3 m long superficially mammalian creature resembling a snake with shaggy brown fur and 2 sets of thermosensitive organs directly below its eyes. The subject’s tail diverged into 7 points which acted as environmental manipulators. The subject also has a litter of 57 purely aquatic offspring that each measure 7-10 cm in diameter and resemble sea urchins with soft, flexible hairs rather than spines. The subject reportedly sought to escape overpopulation regulations on its home planet that would require it to terminate 42 of its offspring.
The subject was disguised as a 34-year-old female botanist living in a small town along the Mexico/US border. The subject kept its offspring in pet aquariums in the back of their flower shop. Upon initial containment, the subject was extremely hostile but became cooperative after accommodations were made to allow the subject and offspring to be contained together.
“Oh yeah, I remember her… gave her a discount, I think. Never let it be said that I don’t have a heart.4”

SCP-5692-A-32
A 1.5 m tall vaguely humanoid organism with several avian features including a toothed beak, a blue downy feather-like skin covering designed for thermoregulation, and talon-like hands and feet. According to the subject and SCP-5692, the species to which the subject belongs has an average lifespan of 16 years. The subject cited tourism as its reason for appearing on Earth. The remains of the subject are preserved and held in Site-29’s Bio Lab.
The subject spent the last 2 years of its life posing as a wealthy 70-75-year-old Turkish man. Using this disguise, the subject visited numerous sights of natural and historical significance on every continent5. The subject entered willingly into Foundation custody after being seized by operatives at Machu Picchu, claiming that it had "seen enough". The subject died 3 weeks after initial containment.
“The man lead a military coup, became the leader of his planet, reared 4 children, cured an infectious skin-disease in his spare time, faked his death, emigrated on a whim to an underdeveloped planet he heard rumors of in a bar one day, and experienced everything your planet had to offer all within the span of a decade. We have a saying about the birds where I come from… they’re insane.”

SCP-5692-A-37
A 2.4 m tall, slender humanoid entity with thin, transparent skin. The entity lacks muscle fibers and moves by controlling the movement of pressurized gas through specialized organs in its limbs. The subject was native to a low-gravity planet and came to Earth to study the relationship between trees and fungi in the forests of North America.
The subject was outfitted with a gel-based disguise and a device which could manipulate gravity in a 10 cm radius around its body. The disguise was made to resemble the North American cryptid Sasquatch. The subject was found in the Rocky Mountains of Alberta and was apprehended without incident.
“She was too tall for a human gel and she wanted to live in the woods for the rest of her life. Not bad, eh? Well, I thought it was pretty clever.”

Research into the location, nature, and capabilities of the civilizations that instances of SCP-5692-A originate from is ongoing. Interviews with SCP-5692 and instances of SCP-5692-A have thus far proven useful in obtaining information, however, more direct methods of observation are currently in development.

Show Interview Log-5692-3

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Interview Log-5692-3

Preface: The following interview took place on November ██, 2014. In the prior two interviews SCP-5692 revealed the location and identities of 42 instances of SCP-5692-A. SCP-5692 claimed that the total number of SCP-5692-A instances on Earth was between 50 and 55 and that it had forgotten the location and identities of the remaining instances. The purpose of this interview was to obtain more information regarding the circumstances surrounding the presence of SCP-5692 on Earth.

[BEGIN LOG]

Dr. Verner: Hello 5692, I have a few questions regarding your involvement in the presence of extraterrestrial organisms on Earth. Is that alright?

SCP-5692: Yeah, I’m sure I can make time for it.

Dr. Verner: Excellent, how did you arrive on Earth initially?

SCP-5692: Well, Earth belongs to a collection of planets that, for one reason or another, are forbidden by interstellar law to contact. In your case, it appears to be a “non-interference” type deal. Honestly, it’s not like anyone is missing out on anything, I don’t find this place nearly as interesting or endearing as some of my customers do. Either way, a good place to hide and as I came to discover, make a profit while I’m at it.

Dr. Verner: Hide? Hide from what?

SCP-5692: More appropriate to ask from who, and even more appropriate to ask who I’m not hiding from.

Dr. Verner: Are you a fugitive?

SCP-5692: You make it sound like I'm dangerous! I pulled one too many fast-ones and before I knew it, 8 of the 15 largest government powers in the galaxy were onto me, many of which, I might add, think execution is an appropriate punishment for stealing a Jerrkokan loaf6, much less… let's call them dishonest business dealings.

Dr. Verner: Earlier you referred to the extraterrestrials you assisted as customers. What sort of payment did they provide you for your services?

SCP-5692: Well, first off, their ship. They’d give up their ship and everything on it along with a package of additional goods depending on where the customer came from, I’d do my research ahead of time.

Dr. Verner: What were some of these goods?

SCP-5692: Stuff that’s universally valuable, you know. Precious metals, black market organic materials, illegal technology, stuff like that. That way I could trade them in for whatever currency made the most sense when I got back to the grift.

Dr. Verner: So, once they made their deal with you, they had no way of getting off world?

SCP-5692: Ah, that was the beauty of it. If you’re desperate enough to relocate for the rest of your life, then you’re probably also willing to shell out an arm, leg, or equivalent appendage. Plus, you couldn’t go and tell your friends about your vacation on Earth after you left. Last thing we wanted was to attract unwanted attention. “Once you’re in, you’re in.” That was rule number one.

Dr. Verner: What were the other rules?

SCP-5692: Common sense stuff, you know. No transmissions off world, avoid doctors, cops, or anyone wearing a tinfoil hat, you get it. In exchange, they knew I would keep quiet and they could safely do… whatever they came here to do without being harassed.

Dr. Verner: So, why did you decide to give up information about your customers to us? They provided you things of immense value for your secrecy.

SCP-5692: Well, I can’t trade in any of those things for money now, and even if I could, what good would it do me in here? No, they can live like me now. What’s the saying? Our goose is cooked! They knew the risks when they broke interstellar law. Although, I’m sure if they knew this was a concealer world they might have thought twice.

Dr. Verner: A concealer world?

SCP-5692: Yeah, you know. A world with a big shadowy organization that hunts down things that don’t make total sense. The Tribunal of the Charmock, The Ble’nesh Authority, The Octagon Order7, there’s at least half a dozen others. You guys are unique, though.

Dr. Verner: In what ways?

SCP-5692: Well, you make some of the other guys look sloppy. I lived here for 13 years and I never once suspected that there was such an organization on this planet. Well done, I’m usually pretty good at spotting these sorts of things. Most of them also prefer to terminate dangerous things rather than put them in a box. I was lucky you had the philosophy you did, otherwise it would have been no different than being executed for one of my harmless schemes… well, mostly harmless.

Dr. Verner: Any additional information you can provide about these organizations? It would be nice to know what our counterparts are up to.

SCP-5692: One thing all you guys have in common is that once you have someone in your sights, they’re as good as yours. That’s why I surrendered so easily when I saw you guys showing up to my cabin. I wonder if Keswick knew about you guys. Oh, that would make it even more infuriating!

Dr. Verner: Well, I think that will do for today. We’ll have to get you to expand on some of the points you’ve laid out here today at a later date.

SCP-5692: Yeah, yeah, sure. I got nothing better to do.

[END LOG]

Final Notes: "This is the third time SCP-5692 brought up a person named Keswick. From what I could gather, Keswick is a person that assisted SCP-5692 in smuggling aliens onto Earth. I'll see what sort of intel we can gather on our own before questioning 5692. If the two are still working together, the information provided by 5692 may be intentionally misleading."

-Dr. Verner

Show Interview Log-5692-4

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Interview Log-5692-4

Preface: The following interview was conducted on November ██, 2014. In prior interviews, SCP-5692 had briefly alluded to the existence of an apparently non-anomalous human collaborator in his mid-late 30's known as Keswick. Subsequent interviews with instances of SCP-5692-A have shown that subjects are unaware of the specific events/entities involved in their integration and have only a vague recollection of the identity of Keswick and SCP-5692. Additional investigations were unsuccessful in uncovering additional information on Keswick. The purpose of this interview was to obtain more information on Keswick and his involvement in the presence of extraterrestrials on Earth.

[BEGIN LOG]

Dr. Verner: Hello 5692, are you ready for another interview?

SCP-5692: You know, if I were a little duller, I would try and get you to call me by my real name but knowing this place, it seems unlikely. So, I don't think I'm even gonna tell you. I know your name but you don't know mine, it shifts the power balance a little more in my favor, don't you think?

Dr. Verner: Sure. May we start the interview now?

SCP-5692: Alright Vern… V-E-R-N Vern, V-E-R-N. You like that? It’s Rain Man.

Dr. Verner: Yes, I know, very charming. When did you see Rain Man?

SCP-5692: Keswick would bring me movies, books, basically whatever media I wanted between customers to keep me busy. A lot of Earth entertainment is pretty weak, but it can be very addictive.

Dr. Verner: I suppose that explains how your speech is so colloquial, even “speaking” through a translator.

SCP-5692: Ah, well it's not enough to simply speak a language… when you interact with customers from a whole different world it pays to give off a certain familiarity. My charm is a well known universal constant, Vern.

Dr. Verner: Very nice, but if you don't mind, I'd like to ask you more about this Keswick individual you've mentioned in previous interviews.

SCP-5692: Ooh, I've been waiting for this one, Alright, let’s get into it.

Dr. Verner: What, precisely, was your role when in the integration of extraterrestrials on Earth?

SCP-5692: Well, I was responsible for receiving transmissions from customers, making the gel disguises, setting up the customers with the machines they need, educating the customer on Earth’s customs, and of course, handling the bonified treasury we’d acquired. Everything else fell on that Sor’guk8, Keswick.

Dr. Verner: Can you tell me more about Keswick’s role?

SCP-5692: He was responsible for finding accommodations, giving the customer enough to live on initially, forging documents, transporting the customer where they needed to go, stuff like that. He’d always alter with the memories of the customer in such a way that they had only a vague idea of who we were, it was safer that way. The customers always had no recollection of precisely how they’d got to where they were or who else was involved.

Dr. Verner: So, it’s possible others were involved?

SCP-5692: I don’t see how it could have been possible any other way, but the specifics were always a mystery. He’d always get anxious and irritable when I asked about his methods, I quickly learned to stop questioning him. He was a good partner, did his part for next to nothing. In fact, he would lose money on every operation, and his payment was… strange.

Dr. Verner: Can you elaborate, please?

SCP-5692: Well, he would just ask to take bits of technology and bio samples from the stash for a month or two and then return them in perfect condition. He’d also spend a strange amount of time with some of the customers before relocating them. Where they were or what they did during that time is anyone’s guess, not even they remember. That was my first clue that something was up with him… I always knew he was suspicious, but I could never resist having a partner that worked essentially for free.

Dr. Verner: How did you come to be associated with Keswick to begin with?

SCP-5692: He found me, believe it or not. He claimed to be the owner of the cabin I was squatting in, but I knew that was a lie because the place looked like it had been empty for at least a decade. He was quiet and imposing, I thought he was about to kill me or turn me in, but instead he seemed to have some vague idea of who I was. He told me about a con where he would handle all the heavy lifting and I could be rich when the manhunt on me was over. Of course, I quite literally couldn’t refuse.

Dr. Verner: So the scheme was his idea?

SCP-5692: As much as I want to take credit, I can't.

Dr. Verner: Could you provide any information about Keswick that you learned over your time working together? Anything that would help us locate him?

SCP-5692: Believe me, there’s nothing I want to do more than bring this guy in, but he was so secretive… I’m pretty sure Keswick wasn’t even his real name. Other than the occasional VHS or comic book drop off we pretty much never interacted outside of business.

Dr. Verner: When was the last time you heard from Keswick prior to containment?

SCP-5692: About a week before, but I know he was responsible for me being here.

Dr. Verner: Could you elaborate?

SCP-5692: You see, my species endures a molting period for a matter of days every few years in which we are unresponsive to the world outside our molting pods. When I exited my molting state, I checked the hiding spots with all the payments only to find they were empty. All my other belongings, including the ships, were gone and there was residue on the ground indicating that several ships had taken off. Then your boys in black came knocking within the hour and I knew it was over.

Dr. Verner: Very interesting, thank you 5692. I think we have everything we need for today.

SCP-5692: No problem. You can repay me by bringing in that Par’mot9, Keswick… I'm sorry Vern, please don't take offence. I swear, I become my father when I get angry.

[END LOG]

Final Notes: "Assuming all this is reliable, we're left with more questions than answers. Was anyone else involved? If so, who and for what reason? What did they need all this alien technology for? Regardless of the answers, finding this Keswick individual should be a top priority."

-Dr. Verner

Following this interview, Keswick was designated POI 17,235. Attempts to determine his whereabouts, current activities, and potential collaborators are ongoing.

Footnotes

1. When submerged in the gel, the subject's body becomes unresponsive while the gel moves in accordance with neurological signals. Sensory information is also transferred directly from the gel into the nervous system of the subject. As a result, subjects have reported that using the gel feels indistinguishable from having a biological body of the gel's shape and size.

2. The gel was capable of converting a portion of the oxygen diffusing through the gel into hydrogen sulfide, absorbing certain molecules from cat food and converting it into chemically-compatible nutrients, and altering the remaining food matter to resemble feline feces before being excreted from the gel.

3. Reports include him swimming nude in pond scum, talking to the scum when no one was around, using an excessive amount of fertilizer to accelerate the growth of the scum, fending off herbivorous animals from consuming the scum, and generally tending to the scum in a manner similar to a farmer with their crops.

4. Subsequent analysis of the anatomy of SCP-5692 has shown that the subject possesses 4 pump-like organs positioned throughout its body. These organs are analogous to a heart in function.

5. These sights include the Seven Natural Wonders, the Seven Wonders of the World, and nearly two dozen additional locations.

6. SCP-5692 later explained that a "Jerrkokan loaf" is a food item that was popular among soldiers and people on poorer worlds due to its low cost and high nutritional content.

7. Due to their secrecy, research into these organizations have yielded little regarding their goals, methods, or capabilities.

8. SCP-5692 later explained that "Sor'quk" is a derogatory term for untrustworthy individuals. The term originated as a slang term for the reproductive organs of one of the sexes in a species with 3 sexes.

9. SCP-5692 later explained that "Par'mot" is a derogatory term for someone who evolved on a planet orbiting a yellow star.