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Item #: SCP-4466

Object Class: Euclid

The farmhouse by which SCP-4466 were found.

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-4466 are to be kept in an earthy containment chamber, fit for several large (152 cm tall and 244 cm long) mammals to roam. SCP-4466 are to be fed primarily grass and hay three times a day. SCP-4466 are to be groomed, cleaned, and generally maintained by on-site animal handlers. The SCP-4466 population is to be kept at a reasonable level (decided at the research lead's discretion), and deceased instances are to be dissected and studied.

Description: SCP-4466 are quadrupedal mammals, possessing features similar to that of several other known animals. SCP-4466 possess anatomy unable to have naturally occurred, and have DNA that appears to be composed of the DNA of several other organisms. An abridged list of notable aspects of SCP-4466's anatomy follow:

Sparse hair.

Human-like eyes and mouth.

Cow-like digestive system and nose.

A face structure similar in construction to a dog's snout.

A bone and muscle structure in the "legs" more reminiscent to hominid fingers.

A collection of stacked and compressed toenails used for balance in the place of feet.

SCP-4466 are herbivorous, domesticated (unusually amicable towards human subjects), and docile unless provoked. Initial exposure to SCP-4466 invariably causes confusion, discomfort, and a mild headache in human subjects. The rate at which these symptoms fade is variable, but consistent exposure over the course of a week has shown to be effective in over 95% of cases. The remaining 5% of subjects who continue to be affected are disproportionately composed of those who have experience in medical fields, especially veterinary practices.

Discovery: SCP-4466 were discovered in rural █████, ██████ after several reported sightings of "unusual beasts" in the area. The SCP-4466 population was found to be centered around an abandoned farm, previously occupied by a ███████ family of a mother, father, and three sons. The current whereabouts of the ███████s are unknown.

An investigation of the ███████ household revealed several photographs of the family posing with SCP-4466 instances, and/or riding them. Similarly, a camera found within the house contained a video of the father teaching the eldest son how to ride an SCP-4466 instance. The equipment used to ride SCP-4466, as shown in the photographs and video, was not found.

Most notable was a recovered HD-DVD that acted as an educational miniseries on SCP-4466. The disc was labelled "The Dangers of Misunderstanding Your Steed" with the subtitle "1974 (Remastered 1992)" in permanent marker. Subjects who view the contents of the DVD may re-experience the initial symptoms of SCP-4466 exposure, even if they had previously overcome them. The disc is currently held in a secure storage locker in Site-██, and has been recorded into the digital database as well. Below is an abridged transcription of its contents (the disc is collectively an hour and fifteen minutes long, over three episodes and three extra features).

Contents of HD-DVD

Menu

Description: The front menu of the DVD shows a man in a romanticized old western style outfit (a "cowboy") posing with an SCP-4466 instance. The menu shows the options "Play All", "Episode Selection", "Special Features", and "Exit".

Under "Episode Selection", the man is seen inspecting riding equipment for SCP-4466. The options displayed are "Episode 1: How to Tame a Steed", "Episode 2: How to Treat Your Steed", "Episode 3: How to Love Your Steed", and "Back to Menu".

Under "Special Features", the man is seen resting under a standing SCP-4466 instance, reaching through a wound on its belly (his arm is unable to be seen past the elbow), and smiling. The options displayed are "Unruly Steeds During Production", "Behind the Scenes: Episode 1", "How Steed Were Made" [sic], and "Exit to Menu".

All menus play unidentified instrumental country music, which fades out and repeats every 90 seconds.

Episode 1: How to Tame a Steed

Description: The man shown on the menu, hereafter referred to as PoI-4466-01, begins the episode in a barn, inside of which many SCP-4466 instances are contained in pens. PoI-4466-01 explains how much SCP-4466 enjoy apples, sugar, and salt crystals. The SCP-4466 appear unruly and unhappy about being kept in pens. PoI-4466-01, after explaining multiple methods of taming SCP-4466, releases several instances into a large field to demonstrate. The episode ends after two of the three instances are calmed and put back in pens. The third instance escapes, which worries PoI-4466-01.

Excerpt:

PoI-4466-01: Here ya can see a steed in its natural habitat, roaming the plains like the beautiful aberration of nature it is. Now I'm gon' show you how I capture these pretty creatures and bring them back to my hovel. It becomes very simple when you get used to it.

[One of the three SCP-4466 instances is grazing on grass, but looks up to watch PoI-4466-01 circling them.]

PoI-4466-01: As long as you keep smiling, they never suspect a thang. Dumb animals, but they like your teeth. Stun 'em. Now you can start spreading the salt.

[PoI-4466-01 begins dropping large chunks of salt in a circle around the instance. The instance does not move.]

Episode 2: How to Treat Your Steed

Description: PoI-4466-01 is seen with an SCP-4466 instance in a pen in a field. PoI-4466-01 has a collection of tools and equipment laying in a pile just outside of the pen. The episode centers around lessons in "steed maintenance", as well as "how to make sure your steed knows you're the boss". This is the only episode that includes other persons of interest, as multiple crew members assist PoI-4466-01.

Excerpt:

PoI-4466-01: Now that you've properly groomed your steed, you're going to need to show it that all this affection doesn't mean you're equals. The last thing you want is this gorgeous beast to assert its power on you — well, for most of us, that is. [PoI-4466-01 winks.] But whatever your intentions, it won't let you be on top, won't let you ride it, unless you show it that you are in total control. So, toss aside your comb…

[A crew member grabs the comb and takes it to the pile of tools. PoI-4466-01 mounts the instance, and then lays face down on them, wrapping their arms and legs around its chest and belly. PoI-4466-01 then reaches towards their left, and grabs an obscured tool from a crew member.]

PoI-4466-01: …and grab your trowel.

Episode 3: How to Love Your Steed

Description: In this episode, two SCP-4466 instances roam in a flowery field, with PoI-4466-01 following them closely. The episode focuses on methods by which you can "have a healthy relationship" with SCP-4466. Notably, one SCP-4466 instance is missing eyes, but appears to be largely unaffected by this. PoI-4466-01 is visibly dehydrated. The episode ends abruptly when PoI-4466-01 cries into one's shoulder, and motions for the cameraman to cease recording.

Excerpt:

PoI-4466-01: What ya need to remember is that these things have been through just as much as you have. Maybe even more. Most of these beauts have been around longer than you or I, anyways. So when it tells you what it's seen, you had better believe it. You should nod and keep your chin held high. They're good storytellers, if you know how to listen. Salt helps.

[PoI-4466-01 rubs a large amount of salt out of his hair.]

PoI-4466-01: [Muttering] Should've showered…

[PoI-4466-01 is laying on a hill, hiding from the SCP-4466 instances. The instances are nuzzling each other, though the eyeless instance appears to be more apprehensive than the other.]

PoI-4466-01: The real trick is to treat them like you would any other. So, if you've made mistakes like I have, I recommend you follow my instructions closely. [PoI-4466-01 presents a small wet bag.] I'm gonna give 'er her eyes back.

[PoI-4466-01 spits out a salt crystal.]

Unruly Steeds During Production

Description: Feature is mostly comprised of a "blooper reel", in which PoI-4466-01 makes mistakes while attempting to showcase various properties of SCP-4466. Notably, the scenes the bloopers originate from are in none of the actual episodes. The other part of the feature is PoI-4466-01 talking directly into the camera, angrily discussing the behavior of the escaped SCP-4466 instance from Episode 1.

PoI-4466-01: I hope she rots. I hope she rots and dies. In that order. [Coughs] Gosh, darn it. We can't just let someone have her for free. And there goes Episode 8! Without her, "What It Means to Be a Steed" isn't possible. She was the star. Golly eff! Dang this family show and its standards.

[PoI-4466-01 sniffles.]

PoI-4466-01: But thank you for watching. Whoever you are. [PoI-4466-01 glares at camera.] Can someone get me some salt?

Behind the Scenes: Episode 1

Description: Feature appears to be footage of the inside of an empty barn, the same barn seen in Episode 1. The doors remain open for the first five minutes, before footsteps and voices can be heard behind the camera, followed by the doors closing. The rest of the episode is black except for a sliver of light provided by the door. Movement can be seen in this sliver of light. Otherwise uneventful.

Excerpt:

[Footsteps approach from behind the camera. Vague conversation can be heard. Two distinct voices can be made out.]

PoI-4466-01: [Faintly] What? No, don't call them that! They can hear for miles, you know. They're steeds for a reason. Steeds and that's it. If you could… [Voice becomes becomes muffled as doors are closed.]

How Steed Were Made

Description: Episode opens with a text disclaimer saying that "our cowboy (presumably PoI-4466-01) is unable to talk due to a throat surgery he had to have done the day prior". PoI-4466-01 can still be seen, but appears shriveled and dry. At several points, PoI-4466-01 coughs up / vomits salt. The episode takes place in a dark, damp cave-like environment. The sounds of SCP-4466 instances can be heard echoing from far away throughout.

Excerpt:

[PoI-4466-01 approaches a large pit in the ground, and motions for the cameraman to view it. Pit appears extremely dark, but its sides are lined with salt crystals. PoI-4466-01 looks into the camera and puts his right forefinger to his lips (in a "shh" gesture). He then looks back down into the pit. After a minute, several individual pieces of SCP-4466 instances float upwards and begin to form a loose ball above the pit. PoI-4466 looks to the camera, smiles, and gives a thumbs up. He then takes off his backpack, reaches in, and pulls out a cattle prod. He moves closer to the edge of the pit, extending the cattle prod towards the mass of SCP-4466 parts. Footage ends.]

WARNING!

The following image used to be included within the body of the SCP-4466 document, but was later found to have latent cognitohazardous properties. The exact nature of these properties is currently unknown. With proper neuro-inoculation training, the image may be viewed safely. Open at your own discretion.

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SCP-4466