Item #: SCP-4442

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-4442 is contained along with the town of ███████, Florida. All previous residents have been given Class-B amnestics and relocated, and all geographical records of the area since 1963 have been wiped or destroyed.

The town was converted to a Foundation facility1 in 1976 after Incident Digamma-874, and is currently used as an MTF barracks and training facility. All contact with SCP-4442 and its immediate vicinity is monitored closely by site staff. Up to 150 personnel can be on staff at one time, with the town functioning as a location to teach Tier I-III Defensive Driving courses.

Description: SCP-4442 is a four-way traffic stop in ███████, Florida. It is of standard construction for the time period.2 It uses one Crouse Hinds "D" type 4-way signal, with its signature "Smiley Face" lenses hung over the center of the intersection. Span wire is attached diagonally across the street to two utility poles six meters in height.

SCP-4442 continues to function as a normal four-way traffic light, in spite of it no longer having access to a power supply or the regular maintenance a unit of its age would require. SCP-4442's anomalous effects are triggered when a manned street legal vehicle passes directly underneath the signal; the driver of this vehicle will be designated SCP-4442-A for the duration of SCP-4442's effect. For the next 30 days, any moving violation to which SCP-4442-A is at fault will result in subjectively appropriate vandalism to SCP-4442-A's primary vehicle, designated SCP-4442-B. SCP-4442-B may not be the vehicle used to initiate the initial event, or even the vehicle currently registered to SCP-4442-A; rather, SCP-4442-B appears to be the vehicle to which SCP-4442-A is most emotionally attached at the time of crossing SCP-4442.

Any text produced by SCP-4442 is printed as matte black3 576-point Impact font directly on the outer body of the vehicle. Testing has shown that the severity of the vandalism is proportionate to the severity of the moving violation; additionally, statements manifested are personalized to the driver.4 For details, see addenda.

+ Addendum I: Testing Log 3

- Close

Experiment 4442-003:

Date: ██/██/19██

Subject: D-10959

SCP-4442-B: White 1969 Ford Bronco Sport

Researcher: Dr. Draper

Violation
Effect
Location of Writing
Approximate Time to Effect

Left turn on red
"A good way to get T-Boned, Jackass."
Written across the driver's side of the vehicle.
15 Seconds

Changing lanes without signaling
"Please Body Check Me"
Written along the passenger's side of the vehicle, notably the side facing the rest of the available lanes.
11 Seconds

Brake-checking
"How's My Driving? Call ███-███-████!"5
Written across the back paneling.
5 Seconds

Additional Notes: Testing ended after subject became emotionally distressed at the sight of his mother's phone number being revealed and resisted coercion.

+ Addendum II: Testing Log 8

- Close

Experiment 4442-008:

Date: ██/██/19██

Subject: D-80994

SCP-4442-B: "Quartz Silver Metallic" 1986 Acura Integra

Researcher: Dr. Draper

Violation
Effect
Location of Writing
Approximate Time to Effect

Speeding (15MPH above posted limit)
"I can't read road signs, send help!"
Written along the back window.
1 Minute

Speeding (25MPH above posted limit)
"Can one of you nerds tell this asshole to slow down?"
Written along the back window.
30 Seconds

Speeding (35MPH above posted limit)
"Speeding didn't kill my girlfriend. I did."6
Written along both right and left sides of the vehicle.
15 Seconds

+ Addendum III: Testing Log ███

- Close

Experiment 4442-███:

Date: ██/██/20██

Subject: C-511747

SCP-4442-B: White 2005 Jeep Grand Cherokee Laredo

Researcher: Dr. ███████

Violation
Effect
Location of Writing
Approximate Time to Effect

Lack of seatbelt usage
"I care about my life almost as much as I care about yours! (I don't!)"
written along the driver's side door
5 Minutes

Driving in-between lanes
Pornographic drawing of a set of spread legs, with unidentifiable genitalia. The caption "I love to spread 'em!" is printed underneath.
drawn and written along the trunk
2 Minutes

Passing on the right8
"I'm not perfect, okay?"
written across the hood
10 Minutes9

Additional Notes: Proper compensation was given and the vehicle repainted. Further investigation in regards to potential sapience is pending.

+ Security Clearance Level 3 Required

- Addendum IV: Testing Log ████

Experiment 4442-███:

Date: ██/██/███

Subject: D-99406

SCP-4442-B: [REDACTED]

Researcher: [REDACTED]

Violation
Effect
Location of Writing
Approximate Time to Effect

Running a stop sign
21 sets of complete geographical coordinates
Written across the entirety of the left and right sides of the vehicle.
7 Seconds

Additional Notes: Decayed human remains were recovered from the coordinates given; all 15 individuals identified had been flagged as missing by law enforcement prior to this discovery. When interviewed, D-99406 disclosed that they had committed all 15 murders over the course of seven years. As they were never convicted for the murders,10 D-99406 was given the option of federal incarceration or extended service as D-class personnel. D-99406 was subsequently transferred to Biological Containment Site-66.

Footnotes

1. Site-4442.

2. The town had been last updated for traffic security in 1959.

3. SCP-4442 will not change the color of its text, even if the vehicle in question is black.

4. How SCP-4442 sources this personal information is currently unknown.

5. D-10959's mother's home phone number.

6. D-80994 was initially incarcerated for Vehicular Homicide.

7. Agent C. Trauss

8. Florida officially recognized passing on the right as a moving violation in 1999.

9. SCP-4442 had not originally detected this as a moving violation; Agent Trauss was noted as standing in the middle of the intersection and speaking aloud, with SCP-4442's replies appearing in a smaller font alongside the passenger side door.

10. Due to this fact, researchers concluded that SCP-4442's ability to detect past and current offenses does not function by anomalously accessing legal records, but rather by wholly unknown means.