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SCP-3546: Doggone It, I Fold!

Author: The Great Hippo

Image: Link.

Music: Nothing New Under the Sun (Thomas Dolby)

Next: [SCP-3561]: An Unfinished Work

More by The Great Hippo:

SCPs

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SCPs

[SCP-3034]
The Counting Station

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[SCP-3035]
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[SCP-3054]
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[SCP-3045]
bzzip.exe

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[SCP-3043]
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[SCP-3057]
Fossil Fuels

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[SCP-2639]
Video Game Violence

i need to know how many people i've killed

[SCP-437]
Summer of '91

That was a pretty crazy summer, y'know? Sometimes I really miss that place.

[SCP-3079]
300 Tricks: Stage Magic Made Easy

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[SCP-2753]
Let's Play Jenga!

High art carries high risk!

[SCP-2679]
The Many Graves of Jeannette Parslov

Whatever it takes, do what you must; whatever the cost, come back to us.

[SCP-3074]
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Thank you for choosing Izatova Parking Center. Have a pleasant day.

[SCP-2571]
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[SCP-2419]
The Laughing Men

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[SCP-3143]
Murphy Law in… The Foundation Always Rings Twice!

When it comes right down to it, me — them — hell, even you — we're all just characters in that trashy dime-store novel called life.

[SCP-3089]
That Old Time Religion

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[SCP-3117]
A Monster-Shaped Hole

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[SCP-3128]
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Hey, guys? I'm, uh. I'm using this.

[SCP-3138]
A Sepulcher by the Sea

Should it prove feasible, all non-canonical corpses are to be extracted, examined, and catalogued.

[SCP-3241]
The SS Sommerfeld

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[SCP-3219]
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Notably, no reports describe any attempt to examine the residence's storm cellar.

[SCP-4028]
La Historia de Don Quixote de la Mancha

Justine eventually re-unites with her sister, Juliette. Alonso strikes down a lightning bolt intended for them both, then challenges the narrator to a duel.

[SCP-3546]
Doggone it, I Fold!

Specifically, fan-art of Sonic the Hedgehog, a video-game character produced by Sega in 1991.

[SCP-3561]
An Unfinished Work

Despite multiple reports from neighbors who claimed to have witnessed members of his family standing at the windows, no trace of Theodore Holdstock's wife and children could be found.

[SCP-4054]
The Seventh Door

SCP-4054 is The Seventh Door, an unlicensed platform adventure game released for the Nintendo Entertainment System in 1988.

Doggone it, I Fold!, by Cherise Schultz (2005).

Item #: SCP-3546

Object Class: Neutralized (formerly Euclid)

Special Containment Procedures: All works produced by SCP-3546 are to remain in Foundation custody. As these items are non-anomalous, no further action is required.

Description: SCP-3546 was Cherise Schultz, a 63-year-old widow previously residing in Cherry Hill, New Jersey (United States). Ms. Schultz reproduced works of art which were indistinguishable (physically, chemically, or otherwise) from their authentic counterparts. Until 2012, Ms. Schultz's works were regularly purchased by a private firm for use in high-profile instances of forgery, theft, and fraud.

Ms. Schultz produced these works from non-anomalous materials (typically acrylic paint), applying them in such a way that their arrangement and composition were anomalously transformed into a work identical to one which she had no prior knowledge of. She reproduced several hundred paintings, frescoes, and sculptures during her career; collectively, these works are estimated to have grossed profits in excess of several hundred million (US) dollars.

Ms. Schultz sold each work for fifty (US) dollars (excluding costs of shipping and handling).

Addendum 3546.1: Initial Interview

INTERVIEW LOG

DATE: 2012/07/21

INTERVIEWER: Cmdr. Robert Malthus

SUBJECT: Cherise Schultz

[BEGIN LOG.]

MALTHUS: Ms. Schultz, are you —

SCHULTZ: Oh, please, call me Cheri.

MALTHUS: Are you familiar with this painting?

SCHULTZ: Oh, that looks like… hm. Yes, I recognize it. 2007, I think? I remember, because I finished it right before that whole awful market crash. Thank God my husband's pension wasn't touched. He always had a head for money.

MALTHUS: This is Girl with a Pearl Earring.

SCHULTZ: Is that what I called it? I can't remember the —

MALTHUS: It was painted by Johannes Vermeer.

SCHULTZ: Who?

MALTHUS: What about this one?

SCHULTZ: That's — I did that one in 2009. A Farmer's Life. What is this —

MALTHUS: This is American Gothic, by Grant Wood. It was painted in 1930.

SCHULTZ: What?

MALTHUS: And this?

[Silence.]

SCHULTZ: What is this about?

MALTHUS: Do you recognize this work, Ms. Schultz?

[Silence.]

SCHULTZ: Yes. I finished it just last year. I was very proud of it. One of my largest pieces. I call it Barnyard Hijinks.

MALTHUS: This is Pablo Picasso's Guernica.

[Silence.]

SCHULTZ: Who are you?

MALTHUS: Ms. Schultz, where did you learn to paint?

SCHULTZ: I — I don't know. After my husband died, I just started — I don't know. I just needed a creative outlet. I love painting. I'm very good at it. It just came naturally. That's normal, right? Natural talent. I'm a very expressive person, and I just thought that — who are you?

MALTHUS: Ma'am, I need you to come with us.

[END LOG.]

Addendum 3546.2: Test Logs

The following are logs of Ms. Schultz's various attempts to produce an original work while in Foundation custody.

EXPERIMENT LOG

DATE: 2012/08/15

ATTEMPT: Subject attempted to produce something surreal, nonsensical, and random.

RESULT: Identical reproduction of The Persistence of Memory (by Salvador Dalí).

NOTES: "I didn't think anyone would have painted melting clocks, or flies, or — why would anyone have painted something like this?"

EXPERIMENT LOG

DATE: 2012/08/22

ATTEMPT: Subject slashed randomly at a canvas with paint for several minutes.

RESULT: Identical reproduction of Convergence (by Jackson Pollock).

NOTES: "I just slapped paint on the canvas. That's all I did. Someone already made this?"

EXPERIMENT LOG

DATE: 2012/10/06

ATTEMPT: Subject painted seven canvases white.

RESULT: Identical reproduction of White Painting [seven panel] (by Robert Rauschenberg).

NOTES: "I knew someone must have made something like this, but I didn't think someone would have done seven of them."

EXPERIMENT LOG

DATE: 2013/05/14

ATTEMPT: Subject used acrylic paint to anomalously produce a ceramic urinal.

RESULT: Identical reproduction of Fountain (by Marcel Duchamp).

NOTES: "I thought I had it that time. I really did."

EXPERIMENT LOG

DATE: 2014/09/21

ATTEMPT: Subject painted a crude approximation of a cartoon character she once saw.

RESULT: Initially thought to be original, later determined to be an identical reproduction of a work posted online.1

NOTES: "I'm never leaving this place, am I?"

EXPERIMENT LOG

DATE: 2016/11/02

ATTEMPT: Subject drew an image of two stick-figures, several cats, and a house.

RESULT: A researcher immediately identified the work as identical to one his 7 year-old daughter had produced a week prior.

NOTES: "I miss Harold. I miss my cats. I want to go home."

EXPERIMENT LOG

DATE: 2018/12/05

ATTEMPT: Subject used acrylic paints to anomalously create a firearm, then discharged it into her forehead.

RESULT: Researchers determined that this suicide was identical to that of Ernest Hemingway's.

NOTES: Object class updated from Euclid to Neutralized.

Footnotes

1. Specifically, fan-art of Sonic the Hedgehog, a video-game character produced by Sega in 1991.