2/5294 LEVEL 2/5294

CLASSIFIED

Item #: SCP-5294

Safe

Special Containment Procedures: All male parents turning 45 years old trying to participate in an SCP-5294 event should be amnesticized and dismissed from the facilities. All SCP-5294 invitation letters should be destroyed.

The known property containing SCP-5294 is owned by the Foundation and closed off from the public under the guise of a construction site. All active SCP-5294-1 instances who are the main drivers of conferences are contained in provisional containment chambers at the original area.

Description: SCP-5294 is the designation for the arbitrary manifestation of a building in Falkirk, Scotland. The facilities usually replace the position of a fast food restaurant and typically contain locales with several conference rooms and a bigger assembly hall with a stage. A sign overhanging the entrance reads "The Emancipatory Society for Middle-Aged Fathers". The manifestation typically only lasts for one day before the facilities are transformed into their original state.

Untraceable letters have manifested in the belongings of male parents in Falkirk the day of their 45th birthday. These letters pose as invitation letters to the conference. These conferences are realized typically between the times 08:00 and 17:00.

Any participants aged 45 years with children have after the participation in the event been found in a state designated SCP-5294-1. What signifies SCP-5294-1 is an inability to articulate any sense of self-conscience or object permanence. A variety of psychometric aptitude tests have in particular indicated a decrease in sentient constructs such as self-consciousness, self-awareness and higher-order productive abilities. While psychomotor abilities and the ability of speech remains unchanged, the individuals seem to have been set back to a stage of cognitive development typical with an infant.

Discovery: In February 2021 a Foundation operative living in the area of Falkirk, Scotland attended a conference seemingly generated out of nothing. What normally posed as a disused fast food restaurant had reportedly transformed into a conference hall. The agent was one of several men with children in the proximity that had received a letter on their 45th birthday inviting them to join in on a conference on fatherhood.

INVITATION LETTER

This is the invitation letter received by agent Gore at the time of his birthday 04/02/2021.

POPS! DADS! FATHERS!

THE DAY HAS COME FOR ALL MEN AGED 45 TO EMBARK ON A JOURNEY OF SELF-DISCOVERY AND SELF-EMPOWERMENT.

YOU ARE HEREBY INVITED TO THE FALKIRK EMANCIPATORY SOCIETY FOR MIDDLE-AGED FATHERS FOR A FULL DAY OF FATHERS MEETING FATHERS, MEN MEETING MEN, DEALING WITH THE ISSUES THAT WE FACE ON A DAY-TO-DAY BASIS.

AMONG THINGS THAT WILL BE DEALT WITH:

(under constant subject of change)

A HEALTHY BREAKFAST MINGLE

A GOOD AMOUNT OF SOCIAL TEAM-BUILDING

LECTURE: TERRY GIGGS ON FATHER OBLIGATIONS

COOK-TOGETHER: HOME MADE FISH STICKS. Might take a while.

LIVE READING OF THE DA VINCI CODE

MASTERCLASS: TEENAGE ANGST W/ FORMER DAD GREG

WE HOPE TO SEE YOU THERE!

Sincerely,

The Emancipatory Society for Middle-Aged Fathers

.

INTERVENTION LOG

Three D-Class personnel were instructed to participate in the event equipped with monitor devices. Although not fitting either age or parental status they were faced with minor opposition from the supposed members of the society. Scheduled activities during the conference were documented in the log below on 20/02/2021.

Time: 07:57

Approximately 20 people entered the building. Bologna sandwiches were served from a table in the assembly hall. A few men wore t-shirts displaying the text 'Real Fathers', signaling their role as members of the organization. A note was handed out to the D-Class personnel and the other participants with advice for conversations such as 'Tell them about where you live.', 'Tell them about who you are.', 'Tell a funny joke.' or 'Tell them what in your profession grinds your gears the most.' Two and a half hours went by before the participants felt satisfied with the activity.

Time: 09:44

The participants were divided into teams with different team-building tasks. These involved carrying heavy furniture through narrow doorways and finding the arbitrarily placed car keys the quickest. Finally an activity was conducted where participants were to spend the most amount of time mending electronics such as stereos and toasters before giving up and returning them to the store.

Time: 10:45

Participants were seated in a circle around a man named Terry Giggs who listed 106 'clever jokes'.

Time: 11:05

The participants were instructed to cook up a recipe involving home made fish sticks. This activity was particularly drawn out because of the amount of loitering the participants pursued during the activity. The D-Class personnel uneagerly found themselves doing most of the cooking and cleaning involved.

Time: 14:00

Participants were given seats in the entrance hall in front of an elevated platform. A man wearing the same shirt shown by several members of the organization is seated in a leather armchair. A reading of The DaVinci Code is carried out prompting positive reactions from the participants.

Time: 15:30

A man posing as 'former dad Greg' comes on stage to speak on the subject of 'teenage angst'. However, the speech seemed mostly to consist of anecdotes about his son's old basket ball team. The man on stage disappeared after the moment the majority of the crowd had lost their interest in him.

Time: 15:58

The supposed 'Workshop' was merely a reiteration of the first activity of the day with more bologna sandwiches generated on a buffet table. At the last minutes of the activity, certain participants were awarded with the aforementioned t-shirts. The crowd shook hands as newly found members of the society received t-shirts on stage. As the lively crowd left the facilities, D-Class personnel noted that the supposed members now wearing the t-shirt stayed inside the building. Doors were shut and locked before the interior got dark.

INTERVIEW LOGS

Any candid attempt of questioning individuals on the effects of SCP-5294 or anything remotely related to consequences of their own actions only warranted in sarcastic and/or witty responses. Thereby, interviews were deemed fruitless. Instead, family members of the individuals have been interviewed to confirm psychological changes after the event.

The wife and son of a participant named Jurij Grigoryan were interviewed six months after his participation. Excerpts of the interviews are included in this addendum.

Interview Log

Date: 25/08/2021

Interviewed: Elizabeth Grigoryan

Head Interviewer: Dr. Simon Taber

<BEGIN LOG>

E. Grigoryan: What's he been up to?

Dr. Taber: What?

E. Grigoryan: I mean, is Jurij in trouble?

Dr. Taber: Oh, no ma'am. I assure you we are only here to inquire upo-

E. Grigoryan: Oh good!

Dr. Taber: …We are only here to inquire upon your husbands behavior the last six months. Have you seen your husband behave differently than normal the last six months?

E. Grigoryan: Eh, no… How could that be?

Dr. Taber: Well, we were thinking if you have noticed any change in his… Intelligence or mental ablities?

E. Grigoryan: Intelli… Well, that I haven't seen in a good while…

[Mrs. Grigoryan laughs loudly.]

Dr. Taber: But is he somehow slower, mentally than before?

E. Grigoryan: Than before? Before Kevin was born?

Dr. Taber: Not necessarily… I meant-

E. Grigoryan: He is kind of slow you know… When I think about it…

Dr. Taber: Yes? How?

E. Grigoryan: Oh yes, he's very hard to keep on track. And he always has to check with me for groceries. And all he talks about is that conference, y'know?

Dr. Taber: So you have seen a difference in his behavior since he attended the conference?

[Mrs. Grigoryan scoffs and folds her arms with her gaze wandering around the room.]

E. Grigoryan: His stupid jokes… No affection whatsoever…

Dr. Taber: Whe-

[Mrs. Grigoryan stands up and looks out the window.]

E. Grigoryan: Ugh! And what does he do about Kevin…

Dr. Taber: Please try to calm down Mrs-

E. Grigoryan: I just get so irritated sometimes you know? He doesn't give a piss about any of our commitments or friends and he just looks so… F-cking indifferent to anything I have to say! But oh-so emotional when it comes to lil' shitty details.

Dr. Taber: What do you mean when you say 'shitty details'?

E. Grigoryan: Once he woke up, in the middle of the night… In cold-sweat, worried that his fuckin' drive shaft wouldn't make it through the next MOT!1

Dr. Taber: So he has been behaving this way since the conference?

E. Grigoryan: Yes? What? No, I don't know, why would a silly men's conference change him?

<END LOG>

Interview Log

Date: 20/02/2021

Interviewed: Kevin Grigoryan

Head Interviewer: Dr. Simon Taber

<BEGIN LOG>

K. Grigoryan: Wha' is this place? Hah, did me' dad get caught for huffin'?

Dr. Taber: Your father is not suspected of any criminal activity Kevin.

[Kevin mumbles something inaudible]

Dr. Taber: What was that?

K. Grigoryan: Like, I dunno man… He wouldn't do anything weird, I guess.

[Kevin puts his hood on]

Dr. Taber: But… Have you seen him behave differently these last six months?

Dr. Taber: Hello? Could you answer the question?

K. Grigoryan: I dunno know man. He never really does things with me. I never really looked. Maybe he's a pimp.

[Kevin chuckles]

Dr. Taber: Alright, so I am going to be straightforward with you here Kevin… Is there anything that you would like to tell us about your dad that you're not saying?

K. Grigoryan: I mean, I dunno. He's a walkin' stool innit? But he always has been.

Dr. Taber: We'll call it here. Thank you Kevin.

<END LOG>

Footnotes

1. Short for Ministry of Transport, refers to the MOT test that is required to be carried out on vehicles annually in the United Kingdom.