2/8885 LEVEL 2/8885

CLASSIFIED

Item #: SCP-8885

Special Containment Procedures: Apprehended SCP-8885-1 instances are to be held within appropriate aquatic life containment units for their species. Foundation Web Crawler Portia2 is to restrict all access to SCP-8885 beyond the SCP-8885-1 instances with pre-existing registered accounts. All SCP-8885-1 instances that still retain access to SCP-8885 are to be located, apprehended, and contained.

Description: SCP-8885 is an online dating site titled 'Plenty o' Fish,' used by species of aquatic organisms. SCP-8885 users, classified as SCP-8885-1, are a group of sentient, English-speaking aquatic organisms with the ability to access SCP-8885 through anomalous means. SCP-8885-1 instances typically use the site to attempt reproductive activities when such activities fail to be successful in the wild, using SCP-8885 as an alternative.

SCP-8885 was initially created by an unidentified PoI in late 2022 as an attempt to combat declining aquatic biodiversity on the East Coast using anomalous means. However, data suggests that SCP-8885 is not a successful means of accomplishing this.

Non-anomalous aquatic organisms have been found to become SCP-8885-1 instances after acquiring knowledge of SCP-8885's existence, typically through interactions with other SCP-8885-1 instances.

Discovery: SCP-8885 was first discovered on 12/2/2024 when Foundation WebCrawlers recovered images of Junior Researcher Dr. James Hutson's pet goldfish and apartment online. It was found that his goldfish1 had registered an account with SCP-8885. Following this, its activities on the site were analyzed and recorded, leading to the discovery of SCP-8885. The mentioned activities are available below.

Addendum 1.1: Initial Registered Account: Aforementioned SCP-8885-1 instance's account

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Garry: 23

5 Miles away

Home: United States, California

Sexuality: Bisexual

Bio: Looking for something genuine, don't try to catfish me haha. Thanks

Likes: If your nice we should get along just fine, and also little pieces of bread

Dislikes: Scary movies, small fish bowls and dirty water

Addendum 1.2: Matches Made: Over the course of 7 months, the aforementioned SCP-8885-1 instance2 was matched with several accounts. The following was recovered:

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Samantha Willberry: 22

5 Miles away

Home: United States, California

Sexuality: Straight

Bio: Just here for a quick suck and fuck 😊. Also before you ask yes I do have an OnlyFans, link on my account💅

Likes: Big Buff Fish 🥰

Dislikes: Small little skinny sardines 🤢

Gruple: 25

8 Miles away

Home: United States, New Mexico

Sexuality: Straight

Bio: Having an identity crisis rn, please someone come over and fix me

Likes: I'll like you if you fix me

Dislikes: Weird ass fucking hoolagans

HELP THIS ISN'T A JOKE: 45

12 Miles away

Home: United States, Texas

Sexuality: Bisexual

Bio: HELP CALL THE POLICE THEY'VE FUCKING GOT ME

Likes: HELP HELP HELP

Dislikes: HELP HELP HELP

Richard: 32

14 Miles away

Home: United States, California

Sexuality: N/A

Bio: Not looking for love, just looking to buy some seaweed or coke

Likes: Drugs

Dislikes: Assholes trying to rip me off

Beth: 27

17 Miles away

Home: United States, Arizona

Sexuality: N/A

Bio: I'll find you Hank, I know you still use this stupid fucking website. Your toddler wants his father.

Likes: Ice Cream

Dislikes: Unreliable fathers who get fish pregnant and then abandon them 😊.

Sir Leamington: 23

7 Miles away

Home: United States, California

Sexuality: Wemen

Bio: HELLO THERE DARLIN, ME AND THE BOYS ARE LOOKING FOR A NICE FASIONABLE WOMN TO SHAR CUMPETS AND TEA WHILE WATCHING A BIT OF BBC ON THE TILLE-TELLE. SEE WE MOVED FROM BRITAN TO ENJOY LIFE IN THE BIG CITY. GOD DAY. CHERREO!

Likes: TEA AND BISCUITS AND CURMPETS AND PIE

Dislikes: SUN

Mike: 2,001,927

112 Miles away

Home: United States

Sexuality: Not relevant

Bio: My life has lasted over 2 million years, and in that span of time, I've recovered fragments of truth that reveal our future. It's grim unless we prepare. My preparations have thus far been inadequate. I will be dying soon, but before I do, it's imperative that this truth does not die alongside me.

If you are reading this, you may be worthy of carrying this truth and ensuring our survival. The light you seek is within you, my worthy successor. With love and hope,

Good luck.

Addendum 1.3: Conclusion: Using SCP-8885-1 instance "Garry" as well as other monitored accounts, the following analysis was produced to determine if SCP-8885 is a beneficial means of combating declining biodiversity to potentially facilitate less restrictive containment procedures.

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Upon concluding the research, it has been found that "Garry" is not an outlier in relation to attempted breeding. It's determined that SCP-8885 is an ineffective method for countering declining aquatic biodiversity within its area of effect. Only roughly 25% of matches resulted in successful in-person meetings, and of those, only 25% led to successful reproduction.

In comparison with leading non-anomalous dating sites, this puts SCP-8885 at a similar success rate in terms of finding a successful mate to Tinder or Grumble.

Footnotes

1. Later designated as the first SCP-8885-1 instance

2. "Garry"