SCP-4420

By: Lt Flops

Published on 20 Aug 2018 08:59

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SCP-4420

By: Lt Flops

Published on 20 Aug 2018 08:59

« Audio Version »

SCP-4420: A Potato Thirst

Author: Lt Flops

Published on 20 Aug 2018

This article is set in the Apotheosis canon.

Other Works by Lt Flops!

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+273

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Cave Story
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DISPLAYING ARCHIVED DOCUMENTATION

SCP-4420

ITEM: SCP-4420
LEVEL 2/4420

CLASS: euclid
restricted

DISRUPTION CLASS: keneq

SCP-4420. Image captured from a 50-metre safe distance.

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-4420 is situated in a secure position in the Site-82 Arboretum. Tentative Containment Module #819 regulates the entrance to an artificial pocket dimension large enough to confine SCP-4420. Containment technicians have installed four synchronized Scranton–Marlowe Topology Stabilizers, which maintain dimensional stability inside the module.

Description: SCP-4420 is a red Idaho potato with a current mass of 400 million kg and external dimensions of 150 metres by 65 metres by 55 metres. SCP-4420 displays the following ectoentropic properties:

SCP-4420 responds to moisture shrinkage (~5% every two weeks) by generating a new amount of moist potato matter. During this event, a random Idaho citizen's drinking water transforms into starch-rich potato-flavoured water, which grants the ability to commune with potatoes for 3 to 10 hr after consumption.

Exposure to electromagnetic radiation in the human visual spectrum (λ = 400 nm to 700 nm) produces potato matter of a randomized form. This matter relates to potatoes at various conceptual levels, be that immediate or vague. The new matter grows alongside SCP-4420 and attaches itself via esoteric means beyond current agricultural understanding. Observed forms include:

Any variation of the 5 000 potato varieties grown globally.1

Types of cooked potatoes such as mashed potatoes, French fries, and potato chips.

1996 Idaho County Junior League Potato Sack Race champion Michelle Brown, age 6.

A species of Jerusalem cricket (colloquially known as the potato bug) composed of sweet potato. These insects have infested ~8% of SCP-4420 to date.

Memetic ennui affecting 10% of persons within a 5-km radius.

SCP-4420 displays evident immunity to decay. SCP-4420 consumes most organic irregularities almost immediately after their growth, and produces healthy potato matter in their place.

SCP-4420 consumes food and organic waste within 20 metres of its surface. Any nearby organic material transforms into a potato tuber of equal mass and teleports into SCP-4420. This includes small animals up to 5 kg in mass.

As of current documentation, SCP-4420 has been growing for 22 years.

Footnotes

1. Including other anomalous potatoes like SCP-3342.

UPDATES

I. 10 May 2019

Field researchers discovered foreign fluid with trace amounts of thaumic contaminants in the local groundwater. The Site-82 Operations Command Office initiated Mandate 3731-Ov91, which calls for immediate lockdown and destruction of foreign substances. Security staff considered the lockdown successful within the hour.

Because of its containment location, however, SCP-4420 remained unaccounted for.

At 21:51 CDT, SCP-4420 absorbed thaumic fluids and developed sapience lasting for 32 hours. During this time, it displayed the ability to manipulate informational constructs. SCP-4420 then disseminated 362 SMS messages to on-site staff.

A series of received messages is as follows.

can you see me

pls look at me

im big

look at me

do you think im pretty

is that what i rly look like

no way

is that how you see me ☹️

you cant see me like this

im not good enough am i

not for you

how could i be

leave me alone

im a monster

im sorry i look this way

II. 12 May 2019

At 05:51 CDT, SCP-4420 ceased all anomalous growth and displayed signs of accelerated decomposition.

SCP-4420 has been reclassified as NEUTRALIZED.