"Would've been a perfect view if it weren't for those windmills."

Item#: SCP-6961

Containment Class: keter

Secondary Class: none

Disruption Class: ekhi

Risk Class: warning

A colony of SCP-6961 instances.

Special Containment Procedures: As full containment of SCP-6961 is logistically impossible, no standard containment procedures currently exist for SCP-6961. Procedures to combat the risk SCP-6961 poses to the veil are currently undergoing development.

Description: SCP-6961 is an anomalous species of macrofungus endemic to all continents on Earth. Instances of SCP-6961 may grow upwards of 100 meters tall, and are covered by a metallic carapace with a white sheen. SCP-6961 instances have a rotationally-symmetrical wing-shaped sporangia protruding from their pinnacle, from which they release spores for asexual reproduction. Instances are typically found in open environments such as plains, grasslands, and coasts, in colonies of up to 7,000 members.

Instances of SCP-6961 are publicly known as “wind turbines,” and are accompanied by a passive memetic contagion spreading the belief that they are manmade structures for sustainable power generation. Investigation into the nature of existing "wind power" corporations is currently ongoing.

While the existence of SCP-6961 has been known since the 20th century, their anomalous properties were unknown until 2024-09-18, when Site-54 Senior Researcher Dr. Gusteau first interacted with an instance of SCP-6961 while on paid leave in Occitania, France. The following log was recorded by Dr. Gusteau's cell phone.

Discovery Log SCP-6961-1

[BEGIN LOG]

SCP-6961-1, sighted by Dr. Gusteau.

Dr. Gusteau is hiking in the French countryside, near a colony of SCP-6961 instances. He looks across the landscape, appreciating the green fields and rolling hills. He sighs as he glances at a colony of SCP-6961 at the center of the landscape.

Dr. Gusteau: Sigh… Would've been a perfect view if it weren't for those windmills.

Dr. Gusteau continues walking north, when a voice can be heard echoing throughout the valley.

Unidentified Voice: That's rude.

Dr. Gusteau turns around.

Dr. Gusteau: What the hell— What was that?

Dr. Gusteau: Must've… imagined that.

Dr. Gusteau turns back around.

Unidentified Voice: Wew, that was close.

Dr. Gusteau: The hell? Was- was that the windmill?

Unidentified Voice: Um, no?

Dr. Gusteau: Dude, I can hear you. You're not fooling anybody.

SCP-6961-1: Oh. Crap.

Dr. Gusteau sighs, grumbling inaudibly.

Dr. Gusteau: (quietly) Ugh, just my luck. Here I was thinking I'd have a relaxing vacation.

Dr. Gusteau: So what are you, anyway? A talking windmill?

SCP-6961-1: What's a windmill?

[END LOG]

Upon discovery of SCP-6961-1, Dr. Gusteau alerted the nearby Site-06 to its presence. The following day, Foundation agents discovered that the eleven other wind turbines in the same wind farm also constituted instances of SCP-6961, and further investigation was authorized.

A colony of SCP-6961 was promptly discovered in Estonia, and Dr. Gusteau was flown over to explore the region for further instances of SCP-6961. Dr. Gusteau was ordered to interview local SCP-6961 instances; one of such interviews is shown below.

Interview Log SCP-6961-46

Interviewer: Dr. Gusteau

[BEGIN LOG]

Dr. Gusteau can be heard harking as he enters a perimeter with an instance of SCP-6961, hereby referred to as SCP-6961-46.

SCP-6961-46, aerial view.

Dr. Gusteau: Hello there, SCP-6961-46.

SCP-6961-46's voice echoes through the hills in a voice emanating from the windmill, much like previous instances.

SCP-6961-46: Hey there, man. What's up?

Dr. Gusteau: I am mildly irked because my vacation was cut short. Now I have to investigate windmills, of all things.

SCP-6961-46: That's too bad man. I've been doing just fine. The breeze is so nice today.

Dr. Gusteau: If you say so. May I ask some questions?

SCP-6961-46: Have at it.

Dr. Gusteau: Where do you come from?

SCP-6961-46: Oh me? I don't know. I've been here all my life.

Dr. Gusteau: You were built here?

SCP-6961-46: Sprouted here, more like. That was a long time ago. We grow pretty fast.

Dr. Gusteau: So what are you doing here then?

SCP-6961-46: Just living my life out here in the sun.

Dr. Gusteau turns his back towards SCP-6961-46 and looks into the distance.

Dr. Gusteau: It would've been a much nicer view if it wasn't for that wind farm off the shore.

SCP-6961-46: Those are my kids.

Dr. Gusteau: Oh.

Dr. Gustaeu: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend.

Dr. Gustaeu: Uhm, next question I have here is… How are you able to speak to us?

The rotation of SCP-6861-46's sporangia speeds up.

SCP-6961-46: Oh dude, this is kinda cool. You know how sound is just vibrations in the air?

Dr. Gustaeu: I suppose?

SCP-6961-46: You'd be amazed at how much you can do with the airwaves with huge wings like these!

Dr. Gustaeu: You can rotate your blades to produce voices?

SCP-6961-46: There's a real knack to it, but yeah. We're like a big fan.

Dr. Gustaeu: And then, next on my list, how can you see us?

SCP-6961-46: Come on, man, these questions are really boring. Do you have to question everything?

SCP-6961-46: Do you ask birds how they fly or sing?

Dr. Gustaeu: I'm afraid that's the job, yes. To seek answers to questions, that is. Not interviewing birds.

SCP-6961-46: Interviewing birds actually sounds kinda cool. They must see so much by flying up high.

There is silence for ten seconds.

SCP-6961-46: You can't see much from down there, can you, little guy?

Dr. Gusteau looks up towards SCP-6961-46's top.

Dr. Gusteau: Indeed I can't, there are some woods in the way.

SCP-6961-46: The trees are looking healthy today.

SCP-6961-46: Hey, around my back there's some handholds. People climb up me every once in a while, you should try it man. The view is awesome!

Dr. Gusteau chuckles.

Dr. Gusteau: I don't think I'm cut out for that, I'm afraid.

SCP-6961-46: Your loss, dude.

Dr. Gusteau looks back out in the direction of the sea.

Dr. Gusteau: I can see the seagulls flock around the peaks of your kids, though.

SCP-6961-46: I love looking north, always with my back to the sun, watching my own shadow spin.

The two remain silent for 20 seconds.

SCP-6961-46: I should have a few hundred children across that sea, I'd say.

Dr. Gusteau: That's… a bit more than I would've thought.

Dr. Gusteau: (whispers) Oh god, it's an infestation.

Following this interview, it was discovered that nearly all supposed “wind turbines” throughout the world are in fact SCP-6961 instances. Mobile Task Forces were deployed to document the full extent of SCP-6961 infestation in over 100 countries. During his extensive travels throughout Europe, Dr. Gusteau was instructed to continue interviewing any SCP-6961 instances he came across.

Interview Log SCP-6961-887

Interviewer: Dr. Gusteau

[BEGIN LOG]

Dr. Gusteau is filming the landscape, a tulip field in the Netherlands. He raises his camera up to show an SCP-6961 instance from below.

SCP-6961-887, photographed by Dr. Gusteau.

Dr. Gusteau: No matter how many of your species I approach, I can't help but be intimidated by your height.

SCP-6961-887: What?

SCP-6961-887's sporangia rotates briefly.

SCP-6961-887: Oh, it's you.

Dr. Gusteau: Apologies for sneaking up on you. You know me?

SCP-6961-887: The stories have been going around. Is the government finally catching on to us?

Dr. Gusteau: Not quite, but something like that.

Dr. Gusteau pauses for a moment.

Dr. Gusteau: If I may ask, why have you all been so covert?

SCP-6961-887: We would really rather be left alone. We like the quiet, thank you very much.

Dr. Gusteau: And you go as far as to forge massive amounts of official documentation?

SCP-6961-887: Have you seen me?

Dr. Gusteau: Pardon?

SCP-6961-887: Do you have any idea how hard it is to stay unnoticed when you are 80 meters tall?

Dr. Gusteau: How on Earth do you even manage such a feat?

SCP-6961-887: Oh, we have our ways to help people dismiss us.

Dr. Gusteau: Could you elaborate?

SCP-6961-887: We do keep the details of this information classified amongst eachother, of course. But we were forced by you humans, to evolve certain… properties, so that we blend into the environment.1

Dr. Gusteau: What do you mean? Why do you and your siblings prefer to remain in hiding?

SCP-6961-887: I think we all agree it beats you humans worshipping us and drawing big geoglyphs in our honor, at least.

Dr. Gusteau: That has happened?

SCP-6961-887: Long ago, well before my time. This occurred two periods ago.

SCP-6961-887: In the previous period, you humans simply burned us all to the ground, building plantations and such where my ancestors once grew.

SCP-6961-887: I am glad you humans now build things like electricity pylons and satellite dishes, which give us a framework to fit into.

Dr. Gusteau falls silent. He touches the carapace of SCP-6961-887.

Dr. Gusteau: Why do you grow this tall anyway? You are a blight– uh, I mean, you stand out like a sore thumb. A bright-white beacon in fields of green. Or red and yellow as it may be.

SCP-6961-887: Let me answer your question with another question: How many flowers can you see down there?

Dr. Gusteau looks around him.

Dr. Gusteau: I couldn't possibly count them! Thousands? No no, perhaps a few hundred thousand?

SCP-6961-887: I have counted six million tulips around me so far: 3 million red ones, 1.5 million orange ones, and 1.5 million yellow ones. I don't know the exact numbers yet, this was just a rough preliminary calculation.

SCP-6961-887: Tell me, could you possibly count that many individual blossoms at ground-level?

Dr. Gusteau: I suppose not, but it is still a gorgeous sight.

SCP-6961-887: I am glad it is, and I intend to make the most of it.

SCP-6961-887: Every day, there are a dozen people going through these fields. Removing netting, removing weeds, just generally moving things around. I do enjoy watching the tractor drive. Every weekend, a father and daughter fish in the waterway to your left.

SCP-6961-887: And I suppose I must admit, I do enjoy it when someone passes me by on foot and looks up at me.

Dr. Gusteau: Not everyone likes wind turbines. There are some who would consider you an eyesore.

SCP-6961-887: Frankly, that is their loss.

SCP-6961-887: I am here for myself.

Colony of SCP-6961 instances, photographed by Dr. Gusteau.

Following this interview, O5 Command declared analysis and research of SCP-6961 complete, and released Dr. Gusteau to the rest of his paid leave. However, Dr. Gusteau requested that he continue to interview SCP-6961 instances during his time away from Site-54. His request was authorized.

Interview Log SCP-6961-3590

Interviewer: Dr. Gusteau

[BEGIN LOG]

Dr. Gusteau is seen approaching an uncontained instance of SCP-6961 in central Greece, hereby referred to as SCP-6961-3590.

Dr. Gusteau: Good morning, my friend.

There is silence for fifteen seconds.

Dr. Gusteau: Hello friend, are you awake?

SCP-6961-3590: Huh?

SCP-6961-3590: Oh! Hello there! A new friend?

SCP-6961-3590: Sorry, I was asleep!

Dr. Gusteau: That's alright, buddy. It is an early hike today. Sorry for waking you up!

SCP-6961-3590: Yawn.2 Are you enjoying the early morning view?

Dr. Gusteau: Yes, it is quite beautiful up here, isn't it?

SCP-6961-3590: It sure is!

SCP-6961-3590: That's why I took root here! It's a popular spot!

Dr. Gusteau: What's your name, buddy?

SCP-6961-3590: A name? What's a name?

Dr. Gusteau: Something people call you? How do people refer to you?

SCP-6961-3590: Oh! Well, I do have an identification code! It is a little bit embarrassing though…

Dr. Gusteau: Embarrassing?

SCP-6961-3590: Well…

SCP-6961-3590: So, my neighbor to my left has code SK-8007, right?

Dr. Gusteau nods.

SCP-6961-3590: And my other neighbor, they're SK-8009!

Dr. Gusteau: Oh?

Dr. Gusteau: Oh! Oh yes, that is not ideal.

SCP-6961-3590: I know right?

The two remain quiet for twenty seconds.

Dr. Gusteau: Can't you pick a different name?

SCP-6961-3590: No… If I do that the government might notice the discrepancy and before you know it there's panic and chaos. It's better to just stay in line and enjoy the view, I'd say.

Dr. Gusteau: You could just keep it a secret, you know? Just between the two of us, and perhaps your closest friends?

SCP-6961-3590 remains quiet for ten seconds.

SCP-6961-3590: I never thought of that. Sounds weird.

SCP-6961-3590 remains quiet for another twenty seconds.

SCP-6961-3590: I want to be named Dragon. Dragons are cool.

Dr. Gusteau laughs.

Dr. Gusteau: You know what a dragon is?

SCP-6961-3590: Of course! One flew by here six years ago. The wind it produced was incredible!

Dr. Gusteau: I see.

There is continued silence, as SCP-6961-3590 and Dr. Gusteau watch the view over the mountains.

Dr. Gusteau: A bit of a strange question if you don’t mind but— do you mind if I climb you?

SCP-6961-3590: Climb me? Like, up to my head?

Dr. Gusteau: Yes, using the access ladder on your back. I've heard the view from up there is quite astonishing.

SCP-6961-3590: It sure is! Come on up!

Dr. Gusteau inhales slowly.

Dr. Gusteau: Alright, here it goes.

Dr. Gusteau slowly climbs the access ladder on the back of SCP-6961-3590, reaching the top after fifteen minutes.

SCP-6961-3590: Hey, you made it just in time! Look at the sunrise!

Dr. Gusteau and SCP-6961-3590 silently watch as the sun rises over the mountains.

Dr. Gusteau: That was beautiful. Thank you, Dragon.

SCP-6961-3590’s colony, photographed by Dr. Gusteau after his descent.

Later that day, O5 Command recieved the following message from Dr. Gusteau:

After having spoken with over a hundred different instances of SCP-6961, and having seen much of Europe along the way, I can only come to a single conclusion:

Wind turbines are beautiful.

Footnotes

1. Investigation into potential semiohazards originating from SCP-6961 is ongoing.

2. SCP-6961-3590 spoke the word "yawn" aloud.