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SCP-4866: 𝘔𝘶𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘳™, a product of Optimark Synthetic Personnel Solutions

Author: CadaverCommander

Image Credit: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:13-03-23_e-tropolis_Autodafeh_06.jpg, cropped

Tattoo image by Woedenaz, modified from https://www.flickr.com/photos/ianmcrob/129560833

Item#: 4866

Containment Class: keter

Secondary Class: none

Disruption Class: keneq

Risk Class: danger

SCP-4866, onstage at American College of Surgeons Clinical Conference, attempting to give an unauthorized presentation on human biological frailty, before arrest and detainment.

Special Containment Procedures: Foundation informational assets tasked with scanning American law enforcement agencies are to remain on high alert for any reports of high-profile homicides in the western United States, especially those with suspects matching SCP-4866’s general appearance. All deactivated SCP-4866 specimens detained by civilian agencies are to be confiscated, and investigations terminated with a combination of amnestics and media alteration in accordance with disinformation initiative 4866-HANNIBAL.

Foundation financial observation network MIDAS is ordered to flag any and all mention of an “Optimark Industrial, Inc.” in any form of registry or database for immediate investigation.

Description: SCP-4866 is a series of synthetic autonomous humanoid constructs explicitly advertised as a commercial product, to be sold and purchased by the consumer public.

Instances of SCP-4866 vary in physical appearance, but always manifest as a mildly overweight human wearing sunglasses and business formalwear. To date, SCP-4866 manifestation events have only occurred in large, densely populated metropolitan areas in the western United States, in cities such as Denver, Las Vegas, Seattle, San Francisco, and Los Angeles. While SCP-4866’s specific point of origin is as-yet unknown, their behavioral patterns are generally predictable.

A SCP-4866 entity will arrive in a populated area, without announcing its presence or being otherwise obtrusive. It will remain dormant in an unknown location for a period of time lasting between 2 and 14 days, then begin murdering civilians at a rate of approximately 1-2 per month. Initially, these murders will be executed with skill, with SCP-4866 utilizing tactics and techniques specifically formulated to minimize the amount of usable evidence that law enforcement agencies could employ in a conclusive investigation.

SCP-4866’s modus operandi tends toward the spectacularly violent. Victims are typically terminated via overwhelming blunt force trauma to the head or torso applied by SCP-4866’s body alone, with weapons or other tools used only in a small number of cases. An SCP-4866 instance’s first 4-5 victims will be attacked in relatively secluded areas, but the entity will gradually begin to select targets in busier locations, and eventually resorting to moving the victims’ dismembered or mutilated bodies with the intent of displaying them publicly. SCP-4866’s tactics will continue to escalate in boldness until it is apprehended by authorities, occasionally to the point that the entity has begun murdering civilians in broad daylight in heavily trafficked areas. As a result of this, multiple murders perpetrated by SCP-4866 have been recorded by surveillance cameras. Transcript of notable example follows.

Date: November 27th, 2017, 12:14 AM

Media Origin: Security camera footage from Seattle gas station convenience store, view of rear alley behind establishment

(A young male individual1 wearing a hooded sweatshirt is leaning against the wall of the gas station, smoking a cigarette. SCP-4866 rounds the corner and stands by a Dumpster, approximately 40 feet from Burns. SCP-4866’s appearance is that of an overweight male in slacks, button-down shirt, tie, and sunglasses. Burns does not look up from his phone to notice SCP-4866 for several minutes, during which time SCP-4866 stands motionless, smiling and sweating profusely despite the current temperature of 13° C. Burns then observes SCP-4866 standing nearby, and flinches, momentarily startled.)

Burns: Jesus Christ dude, you fucking scared the shit out of me.

(SCP-4866 removes its sunglasses, revealing a second, smaller pair of sunglasses underneath the first. It snaps the sunglasses in half, throws the pieces over its shoulders, then points at Burns.)

SCP-4866: Hey there, pal. You look like the kind of guy that understands quality when he sees it. Am I right? You’ve got the ligaments of a discerning organism. A cool cat out and about looking for trouble on the down-low. That's fly. In fact, I've got something that'll impress the shit out of every one of your nociceptors so bad that they won't know what debrided them.

Burns: Uh… I’m set, man, I’m not lookin’ to buy right now.

SCP-4866: (Laughter) Oh man. Sure buddy, whatever you say. Like that’s a state of being that any human can be in naturally. You know what? I like you, Randy. You’re a thinker. You’re the kind of loaf that goes against the grain. I can respect that.

(Burns moves away from the wall, to stand in the center of the alleyway.)

Burns: Is this going somewhere, man? If not, step off. I don’t need this noise right now.

(SCP-4866 snaps its fingers.)

SCP-4866: I know what you need, you perfect vortex of intransigent radness. How about a demonstration? You’re not convinced, but I know as well as you do that those neurotransmitters aren’t gonna denature themselves. Get ready to behold my dudely splendor.

(SCP-4866 removes a wallet from its pants pocket, opens it, and pulls from the billfold a single-edged serrated hunting knife. The removed knife is approximately five inches longer than the total length of the wallet. SCP-4866 tosses the wallet away without looking at it. The wallet ricochets off a streetlamp and lands in the Dumpster nearby. Seeing the knife, Burns places a hand into his sweatshirt, presumably reaching for a weapon of his own.)

Burns: Easy there, freak. I said I’m not buying, and I ain’t got shit for you. You really wanna play it like this? You ready to make that mistake?

(SCP-4866 raises the knife, opens its mouth, and takes a bite out of the blade, removing approximately 3 inches of metal from the weapon. It chews briefly before spitting the fragments at the pavement. The shrapnel leaves SCP-4866’s mouth at a speed great enough to produce a report not unlike that of a firearm and strike sparks from the asphalt.)

SCP-4866: That wasn’t candy, sweetheart. Have you ever killed a man while staring his epiglottis right in the eye, Billy? You’ll never look at the inside of a throat the same way again. That’s a promise.

(The entity throws the remains of the weapon downward by its foot, forcefully enough to lodge the blade several inches into the pavement. Burns draws a pistol from his sweatshirt and takes a step backward, his eyes wide.)

Burns: … W-what are you, man?

(SCP-4866 places its hands on its hips and laughs briefly.)

SCP-4866: I’m a disgusting marvel of bioelectric perfection, Jim. I’m the best beast that ever breathed. I’m a sexy horrible bastard and I’m here to loosen the glands of American audiences everywhere. That’s right! I’m…

(SCP-4866 turns to look directly into the security camera’s lens.)

SCP-4866: Murderer™2, the latest incredible product from the clever buns at Optimark Synthetic Personnel Solutions!3 Are your homicides feeling humdrum? Do you need to add a little spectacle to your slaying? Maybe a bit of class in your killing? Just can’t find the right man for the job? Well, ladies and gentlemen, look no further. The latest in the Murderer™ line of products is just chock-full of organs, chemicals, and operant conditioning guaranteed to make your next string of brutal executions something truly special.

(Burns turns about and begins running from the alley. SCP-4866 looks away from the camera toward him, kneels down, and leaps, closing an 18 meter gap with one jump to land on Burns’s back. Panicking, Burns discharges his firearm while falling to the ground. SCP-4866 secures Burns’s torso with one hand between the shoulder blades, and pins his legs using its knees. Burns begins screaming for help. SCP-4866 places its free hand on the back of Burns’s head.)

SCP-4866: (Shouting) I can taste the inside of your eyeballs already, Greg! Talk about down-home cookin’! Yeeeee-HAW!

(SCP-4866’s head rotates 180 degrees to face the camera again, smiles, and continues speaking over Burns’s shrieks.)

SCP-4866: As you can see, Murderer™ is fully equipped to terminate biological processes in ways that are sure to turn some heads! No more need for all those expensive special effects or dark deals in filthy alleys like this one, folks! One call to Optimark Synthetic Personnel Solutions4, and your next movie, television show, or media event will be taken to new jaw-dropping heights! Your viewers will be in for a show that they won’t soon forget!

(SCP-4866 squeezes Burns’s cranium with its hand, rupturing it. Burns ceases all movement and vocalization. The entity stands and lifts Burns’s corpse off the ground by its shirt collar, carrying it with one arm to center frame while continuing to address the camera.)

SCP-4866: Talk about mind-blowing, am I right? Not only is Murderer™ efficient and sensational, it’s cost-effective, too! No need to supply expensive weapons or killing implements - my hands legally qualify as a war crime! Your show’s production costs minimized and optimized, by Optimark!

(Reaching center camera, SCP-4866 lifts Burns’s corpse above its head and tears it bodily in half at the spine, drenching itself in blood and viscera. Its sunglasses remain spotless, however, for unknown reasons. It drops the lower half of Burns’s body, bows, and smiles.)

SCP-4866: Why get your hands dirty? For just nine easy payments of $999.99, you can let Optimark handle all the fuss of destroying human lives, and make you look stylish while doing it! Amaze your viewers and increase profits, and buy a Murderer™ today! Become optimal, with Optimark!

(SCP-4866 turns and throws the upper half of Burns’s corpse at the alley wall with a calculated speed of nearly 400 kph, destroying it instantly and scattering gore and bone fragments in all directions. The entity then exits the alleyway via a series of increasingly high triple backflips.)

Instances of SCP-4866 have been apprehended by law enforcement agencies, however, none have been able to arrest SCP-4866 before at least 5 killings have been attributed to it, with the average being 9 homicides before SCP-4866’s activities become obvious enough for an investigation to finalize. Attempts to process SCP-4866 through established legal and criminal justice systems have been consistently unsuccessful, as SCP-4866 instances “deactivate” shortly after arrest by either law enforcement or Foundation assets, becoming inert and losing the majority of their anomalous properties. A new SCP-4866 instance will manifest approximately 1-3 months after the most recent iteration has been rendered inactive.

Autopsy and medical analysis of 11 inert SCP-4866 specimens thus far collected by the Foundation has yielded significant insight into SCP-4866’s nature and function, although several aspects of the entities’ physical makeup and properties remain unexplained.

SCP-4866 specimens do not possess fingerprints, legal identities, or genetic material in a form recognizable by conventional biochemical science. The majority of SCP-4866’s internal and external structures are entirely synthetic, with skin, hair, and “bones” all being made of an unknown form of plastic-metal compound that retains high strength, toughness, and durability while remaining lightweight and pliable. SCP-4866’s “nerves” are comprised of non-anomalous insulated copper wiring and optical fibers. In place of muscles or internal organs, SCP-4866 possesses a form of semi-organic electrically conductive gelled polymer, which reacts to electrical impulses to contract or expand. The chemical and mechanical function of this unknown substance is not unlike that of conventional human muscular tissue, albeit capable of producing significantly more force over shorter distances.

Medical examination photo of SCP-4866 "tattoo"

The synthetic bioform’s “brain” is a computer, which, while sophisticated, does not appear to rely on anomalous properties for its function. Foundation engineers are currently attempting to reverse-engineer this structure, both to attain better understanding of SCP-4866’s programmed behaviors and with the goal of adopting its advanced computational hard- and software for the Foundation’s own use.5

Each SCP-4866 specimen obtained thus far has displayed a “tattoo” on the rear of its left calf. This logo also appears in multiple data files contained within SCP-4866’s internal software. Initial investigation has revealed that a corporation operating with the name “Optimark Industrial, Inc.” exists in several financial registries, though these registries appear to have reacted to Foundation dataminers’ interaction with them by obfuscating or encrypting themselves whenever one is accessed, making conclusive data concerning the specific nature, intent, or legal existence of Optimark Industrial difficult to obtain. Investigation is currently ongoing.

Footnotes

1. Identified post-mortem via dental records as Kyle Burns, 25

2. Whenever this term has been recorded in text by a Foundation researcher in reference to SCP-4866, a trademark symbol appears immediately following it. The cause of this informational subanomaly has yet to be determined.

3. A subsidiary of Optimark Industrial. Note: This footnote is registered as added at a time when no Foundation researchers were logged in to SCP-4866’s database entry. Internal investigation is currently underway.

4. A subsidiary of Optimark Industrial.

5. This research has proven difficult, however, as SCP-4866’s processor complex relies on advanced semi-biological quantum computing matrices in conjunction with a slightly modified version of the outdated Windows 98 operating system. The reason for this has yet to be determined.

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