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SCP-7052

Item #: SCP-7052

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: Any information about SCP-7052 leaked to the public must be censored. In case of widespread leaks, misinformation about the dangers of SCP-7052 will be released. Found instances of SCP-7052-1 are to be monitored and, if displaying unusual or dangerous behavior, contained in standard humanoid cells at the closest Site. SCP-7052-1-16 needs to be recovered as soon as possible.

Show propaganda poster used in case of SCP-7052 outbreak

– hide block

The most common infographic used to transmit misinformation about SCP-7052

Description: SCP-7052 is the practice of inserting spoons in one's rectum. Although this action initially appears as irrational, it will result in numerous anomalous effects beneficial to the subject (hereinafter referred to as SCP-7052-1). These effects typically manifest within five to ten minutes after the insertion. The anomalies vary, although the following effects are always present:

Increased sexual attraction towards SCP-7052-1 affecting people of gender based on SCP-7052-1's sexual orientation1

Improvement of SCP-7052-1's physical and mental abilities

Sudden healing of SCP-7052-1's wounds, infections, and carcinomas

Various ontokinetic effects that result in the enhancement of luck in SCP-7052-1's life - such as higher probability of winning lotteries and other chance-based competitions

Improvement in mood

The intensity of these effects depends on the depth of the insertion, as well as the number and size of spoons inserted. The most intense effects, reported at 12 standard silverware spoons, had strong ontokinetic properties. This instance, referred to as SCP-7052-1-9, was formerly a D-class member known as D-952674 (see Addendum-2).

Addendum-1: List of known instances of SCP-7052-1 (excluding D-class personnel)

Date of discovery
Location
Note

07/08/2015
Moscow
Monitored; a successful Russian wrestler

01/22/2016
Site-19
An adult film actress; contained due to apparent anomalies

11/19/2018
Site-19
A researcher at Site-19

11/20/2018
Site-19
A researcher at Site-19

09/15/2020
Portland, OR
Monitored; an American bus driver

01/15/2022
Osaka
Monitored; a Japanese billionaire

05/27/2022
Site-83
A criminal; contained

09/01/2022
UNKNOWN
A former researcher at Site-19

Addendum-2:

Incident Iota

Subject: D-952674

Procedure: Experimentation with high-intensity SCP-7052

Results: D-952674 had to be terminated due to extreme anomalies.

Report:

Dr. Lorenz: You will enter this room. We will give you some privacy. In there you will find a box full of spoons. Your task is to insert as many of them as you can in your rectum.

D-952674 Oh. Of course, sure, okay, you're serious?

Dr. Lorenz: Yes. Please proceed.

[D-952674 enters the room for 40 minutes before emerging]

Dr. Lorenz: Oh what the hell?

Dr. Tawar: D-952674, please stop where you are!

[D-952674 is levitating a meter above the floor, multiple spoons are orbiting around him, his eyes are glowing and changing colors, and objects around him are being deformed and transformed]

D-952674: I have achieved godhood!

[D-952674 sends a spoon flying towards the two researchers, which misses and skims closely to Dr. Lorenz's ear; the door behind D-952674 breaks away from its frame]

Dr. Tawar: [in intercom] We need a response team at SGD-5 immediately!

Dr. Lorenz: How many spoons did you stick in your ass?!

[All electronic displays in the vicinity start showing the number 12]

D-952674: Just enough.

[D-952674 shoots two more spoons at Dr. Lorenz, penetrating his abdomen]

Dr. Lorenz: Agh! Shit!

Dr. Tawar: Where's the fucking team?

[Dr. Tawar throws a chair in the direction of D-952674. Just before hitting D-952674, the chair transforms into a feather]

D-952674: You can't get me.

[Team of four heavily armed men enters the area and start shooting at D-952674, who seems unaffected by the bullets]

████████: What the fuck is this?

██████████: Move aside, everyone!

[██████████ throws a hand grenade at D-952674. The explosion knocks D-952674 down to the ground]

██████████: Keep firing!

[A spray of bullets flies towards D-952674 until he is static and the ontokinesis disappears]

Addendum-3:

Incident Theta

Access SCiPNET Email? (2) new messages!

Re:SUBJECT

To: ten.pics|nilknarf#ten.pics|nilknarf (copy: You and (8) more)

From: ten.pics|2nosirrah.nhoj#ten.pics|2nosirrah.nhoj

Subject: Leave notice

Dear supervisor Franklin, dear fellow researchers,

I have decided to use SCP-7052 for my own benefit. I have inserted three spoons and then bought a lottery ticket, which I won. It saddens me that I must make this decision, but it is the best for all of us. I have left the Foundation and am going to live a discreet and peaceful life. Please do not look for me.

Best Regards,

John Harrison, PhD

To: ten.pics|nilknarf#ten.pics|nilknarf (copy: You and (8) more)

From: ten.pics|2nosirrah.nhoj#ten.pics|2nosirrah.nhoj

Subject: RE:Leave notice

Dear supervisor Franklin and researchers,

I have unfortunately been captured by The Chaos Insurgency. Currently, I am in an unknown location, but I will try to find out information about my coordinates. I will NOT disclose anything about how I acquired my anomalous abilities, no matter what they do to me. Please look for me.

Thanks and sorry,

John Harrison, PhD

As of 09/21/2022, no additional messages from Harrison (SCP-7052-1-16) have been received. Locating SCP-7052-1-16 is of the highest priority.

Footnotes

1. This effect will likely be absent if SCP-7052-1 is asexual