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Title: SCP-069-UA - Cast-iron charcoal iron

Author: murzei_chaos

Translator: murzei_chaos

Original: On Ukrainian site

Item #: SCP-069-UA

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-069-UA must be contained in a secure chamber at least 10 x 10 meters wide and 2 meters high. The containment chamber itself must have soundproof walls. It is prohibited to place objects inside SCP-069-UA, to expose it to any sort of powerful sounds or musical melodies and to block the ability of the object to move, except during authorized testing. Experiments that involve placing SCP-069-UA in closed spaces less than 2 x 2 x 2 meters in size are prohibited.

Description: SCP-069-UA is a charcoal smoothing-iron, made of cast iron and weighing exactly 5.1 kg. The left side of the iron bears the inscription "Дата выпуска 1933"1 as well as the State Emblem of the Soviet Union. The iron itself was likely made at the time specified on the object- the anomalous properties were apparently acquired at a later date.

Every day at 5:00 PM an event designated AEX-069 occurs. At the start of the event, SCP-069-UA rises above the ground to a height of 50 to 250 cm. Within the next four (4) minutes, the object flies around the area along a unique trajectory. Should event AEX-069 occur while SCP-069-UA is located indoors, it is to remain inside of the area. In case that adjacent rooms are available, the object can travel through up to 25 rooms on its path.

It should be noted that the object counteracts attempts to disrupt its motion during AEX-069. Experiments have shown that, if at the beginning of AEX-069 the object was fastened to something (for example, with a chain), then, at the onset of the event, SCP-069-UA makes sharp moves that break the fixtures (in case of a chain, it tears a link apart). Fixtures of any strength tested so far were successfully broken. This event also occurs when SCP-069-UA attempts to avoid obstacles. For example, during one experiment, thirty 1 x 2 m sheets of glass were placed in SCP-069-UA's containment chamber. During the next AEX-069 event, the object did not collide with any of the glass sheets.

At the start of every AEX-069 event, SCP-069-UA emits a melody, referred to as SCP-069-M-UA. Usually, SCP-069-M-UA consists of the National Anthem of the Soviet Union; this version of SCP-069-M-UA is referred to as SCP-069-M1-UA. Also, if SCP-069-UA contains charcoal (or another flammable material) at the onset of AEX-069, said material will burn completely over the course of the event, emitting the expected amount of heat for the given material. Charcoal and many other substances that can be considered fuel burn down completely, without any ash or residue. In the case that SCP-069-UA is filled with non-combustive material, results may vary greatly, though they depend on material's properties.

Discovery: The object was discovered in a warehouse of an abandoned factory in the Donetsk region of Ukraine, [REDACTED], which has been closed since 1991. According to further investigations, a certain [REDACTED], formerly a category 5 welder2, later transferred to work as a guard at the warehouse for health reasons, had disappeared shortly before the factory was shut down. The subject was also an active member of a local CPSU3 cell. Some time later MTF "Gossip Writers" found a story about a "possessed" iron on http://███████, a 'creepypasta' site. The story had several photos attached, three (3) of which depicted SCP-069-UA floating, and a video of AEX-069 that was shot using a cell phone. Initial analysis of the photos deemed them most likely genuine. One of the eyewitnesses also testified that he broke his hand when he tried to grab SCP-069-UA while it was in the air. After that, the object was successfully recovered by Foundation agents, and all eyewitnesses were treated with amnestics. A cover story, describing the "flying iron" as fiction, was posted on the site.

Personnel with clearance 2/069 and above are allowed to read Document E2-069 - partial experiment logs:

+ Open file E2-069.html

- Close file E2-069.html

Experiment №:

Date:

Procedure:

Result:

Experiment №: E069-A█

Date: 1/06/2011

Procedure: Playing the national anthem of Soviet Union during an AEX-069 event.

Result: The national anthem was turned on, SCP-069-UA stopped emitting SCP-069-M1-UA for 1.5 seconds and then resumed. Event AEX-069 lasted for 8 minutes, with SCP-069-M1-UA harmonizing with the rhythm of the audio recording.

Experiment №: E069-A█

Date: 5/07/2011 - 30/07/2011

Procedure: Playing the song "Katusha" every time an event AEX-069 occurred.

Result: When the record started playing, SCP-069-UA stopped emitting SCP-069-M1-UA. After 9/07/2011 it was noted that SCP-069-UA was trying to mimic the song. Every next day the amount and quality of the sounds emitted by SCP-069-UA increased, until on 30/07/2011, when it played the melody of the song "Katusha" in its entirety. This melody, played by the object, was designated as SCP-069-M2-UA. On subsequent days the object resumed emitting SCP-069-M1-UA, but reproducing of SCP-069-M2-UA during an AEX-069 event was observed ██ more times.

Experiment №: E069-A█

Date: 7/08/2011

Procedure: Playing Yesterday by The Beatles during an AEX-069 event.

Result: When the record started playing, SCP-069-UA stopped emitting SCP-069-M1-UA for 8 seconds. After this SCP-069-UA resumed emitting SCP-069-M1-UA at an increased volume. Also, it was noted that during the flight SCP-069-UA made many sharp movements and collided with the walls of the containment chamber several times.

Experiment №: E069-A█

Date: 9/08/2011

Procedure: Playing Сва-Батальон by a Ukrainian NSBM-group Dub Buk during an AEX-069 event.

Result: 47 seconds after the start of track SCP-069-UA flew out of the containment chamber and further along the corridor of Section 125, often bumping into walls and other obstacles. Before the event ended SCP-069-UA flew 900 meters and stopped near [REDACTED]. It was also noted that the object emitted SCP-069-M1-UA with different volume and speed. Observation has indicated that SCP-069-UA was not damaged.

Under certain conditions this object can be very dangerous. - Senior Researcher Shevchenko, Section 125 Director.

Experiment №: E069-B█

Date: 13/08/2011

Procedure: Filling SCP-069-UA with pieces of wet wood before the AEX-069 event.

Result: During AEX-069, the wood was burned to a great amount of cinder. The mass of cinder was ██% the mass of the original wood.

Experiment №: E069-B█

Date: 20/08/2011

Procedure: Filling SCP-069-UA with ice cubes and copper shavings before the AEX-069 event.

Result: During AEX-069 the ice evaporated completely. The copper shavings turned to a powdered mix of copper oxides and hydroxides.

Experiment №: E069-B█

Date: 23/08/2011

Procedure: Placing a thermometer inside SCP-069-UA before the AEX-069 event.

Result: Immediately after the event has ended the thermometer’s readings matched room temperature. No traces of it having been heated were found.

Experiment №: E069-B█

Date: 27/08/2011

Procedure: Placing a specimen of Passer domesticus (House sparrow) inside SCP-069-UA before the AEX-069 event.

Result: [DATA EXPUNGED]

We must remember that the object reacts to sounds, and sometimes in a very weird way. - Senior Researcher Shevchenko, Lead Researcher of the Test Battery E069-B.

Note: Further experiments involving the placement of living creatures inside SCP-069-UA were prohibited by the Ethics Committee.

Experiment №: E069-D█

Date: 7/11/2011

Procedure: Before the AEX-069 event, SCP-069-UA was put inside a locked safe. Lead Researcher was monitoring the experiment from [REDACTED] observation room.

Result: One minute after the event had started, SCP-069-UA breached the safe wall, several other walls and struck the researcher who initiated this experiment, killing him. According to the recorded footage of the incident, SCP-069-UA has reached a top speed of ███ m/s.

The AEX-069 event lasted for 30 minutes; in addition to SCP-069-M1-UA and SCP-069-M2-UA the songs "И вновь продолжается бой4", and "День Победы5", as well as ███ █████ were heard sounding from the object.

Further experiments with placing SCP-069-UA inside any confined spaces less than 2 x 2 x 2 meters in size are prohibited.

- Close file E2-069.html

+ Note E4-069.html : Clearance level 4/069 required

- CLEARANCE GRANTED

Experiment №: E069-NUC

Date: The experiment was not conducted. The experiment is currently pending approval from the O5 Council.

Procedure: Moving SCP-069-UA to a nuclear test site and placing a capsule filled with deuterium and tritium inside it before an AEX-069 event.

The object appears to be unbreakable - it didn't seem to get even a scratch after breaking through walls at a great speed. It also burns down any combustible material or chemical fuel that we place into it. It would be interesting to know what would happen when nuclear or thermonuclear fuel is placed inside. SCP-069-UA may ignore it - or it may not, which will result in a great amount of heat being emitted.

Even in this case, I doubt we will able to use this object as a useful source of energy. Though, we may be able to use it as a last-ditch anomalous bomb. - Dr. █████████.

Footnotes

1. Translation: Manufactured in 1933

2. Ex-USSR welder grading system. Grade 1 is the least qualified, doing the simplest things and assisting more experienced professionals. Grade 6 is the most qualified, authorized for pipeline welding and having their own workman's mark.

3. Communist Party of the Soviet Union

4. "The battle goes on again"

5. "Victory day"