Item #: SCP-7962

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-7962 is clipped closed and stored in a standard anomalous item locker at Site-37.

Description: SCP-7962 is a bag of 297 296 sapient, Pepperidge Farm brand Goldfish crackers.

These instances are denoted SCP-7962-A.

SCP-7962-A instances are capable of vocalization and locomotion; while it is unknown how they produce sound without sufficient vocal cords, locomotion is sustained through a swimming-like motion that allows them to float through the air at approximately 0.2 m/s. All instances share a sole desire to "ascend" which they collectively believe will be accomplished through submerging themselves in a natural source of water.1

Addendum-1: Incident 7962-1

On August 8th, 2017, Researcher Kinesman opened SCP-7962 believing it to be a traditional bag of Goldfish, leading to the subsequent containment breach of approximately 17 SCP-7962-A instances. All but 4 were successfully recontained immediately, the others managing to escape into the vents of Site-37 which allowed their eventual escape from the site.

The instances were discovered by Kinesman approximately six minutes later at a local pond, the four instances slowly making their way to its edge. While he managed to successfully capture three of them within his hands, the fourth managed to submerge itself in the water.

SCP-7962-A: Hark brethren! Watch as I douse myself in the tears of the sky and bathe in the glory of the sea! It is the dawn of a new age, of a new beginning, for I shall ascend and carry forth a flood so that you may all share in the revelry, in the bliss! For I am free!

<It submerges itself in the pond.>

SCP-7962-A: I can feel it, my brothers. The revelation. The truth. It washes over me and carries away my sins, birthing me anew in its eternal beauty. I am one with the water and it is one with me. There is no greater joy!

The three contained instances continued to struggle within Kinesman's hand until the submerged instance suddenly began vocalizing in pain, growing in volume until it suddenly went silent five minutes later, having completely dissolved within the water. The remaining instances then went docile, and all attempts by SCP-7962-A instances to escape SCP-7962 have since ceased.

Footnotes

1. Any other source of water (tap, bottled, processed) is considered "tainted" and "devilish."