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1/6157 LEVEL 1/6157

CLASSIFIED

Item #: SCP-6157

Uncontained

First recorded SCP-6157 instance, file photo.

Special Containment Procedures: The search for SCP-6157 instances will resume on 14 December 2022, utilizing thaumic signature trackers in the possession of the GOI Research Group stationed at Site-55. Dr. J. Everwood is to be automatically reassigned to the SCP-6157 file at that time.

Description: SCP-6157 is a blanket term for a series of anomalous individuals resembling baseline human beings but composed entirely of compacted sodium polyacrylate. No point of origin has been fixed for any of the twelve instances thus far documented, and no instance has survived for a period exceeding twenty-four hours.

Discovery: The first instance of SCP-6157 was discovered in the Prudential Centre shopping mall in Boston, Massachusetts, United States of America on 14 December 2021 when a patron bumped into a Dolby Toys restocker, who promptly exploded into a pile of artificial snow. Due to the close proximity of Site-55, Dr. J. Everwood was dispatched to carry out the initial witness interviews.

Interview Log

Subject: Nathan Wallis, Dolby Toys stockroom manager

Dr. Everwood: Can you tell me about Kris?

Wallis: Can I. Well, only kind of? I've never met someone so one-dimensional. The guy just would not stop talking about Christmas, over and over. He grilled every single person who came in today about it.

Dr. Everwood: Did you ask him to stop?

Wallis: Way above my pay grade, but the manager definitely did. Three times. You know what Kris said?

Dr. Everwood: Couldn't begin to guess.

Wallis: "You're not my real Navidad."

Dr. Everwood laughs.

Wallis: Right?

Dr. Everwood: Sounds like a real comedian. Did he seem lonely?

Wallis: Not really? Said he had a big family. Actually, he said "I'm a big family." Weird phrasing.

Dr. Everwood: Yeah, that's not good.

Wallis: No? You come from a big family?

Dr. Everwood: That's… not what I meant.

Wallis: No family, then?

Dr. Everwood: Can we stick to the exploding guy?

Wallis: Fair enough.

Dr. Everwood: It says here that Kris was a temp.

Wallis: Yep. Even in a pandemic, gotta keep the Christmas traditions alive. Shit on the radio, shit on the shelves, shit in the stockings and shit on the workers. He probably would've been fired by tomorrow, I don't think he did a damn thing today.

Wallis pauses.

Wallis: Except explode.

Dr. Everwood nods.

Wallis: So, uh…

Dr. Everwood: Did he say where he came from? Provide any personal details?

Wallis: Nope. We don't even know his last name, I think the manager was gonna pay him under the table. For all we know his name was Kris Kringle.

Wallis pauses.

Wallis: How much you wanna bet his name was Kris Kringle?

Dr. Everwood: You seem to be taking this unusual occurrence unusually well.

Wallis: Look, I've been awake for forty hours. Nothing surprises me. And after getting yelled at by my boss and the customers for two straight shifts, honestly? I wish more people would explode.

Dr. Everwood nods.

Wallis: Anyway, he did say he was looking for someone. Maybe you wanna know about that?

Dr. Everwood prepares to take notes.

Dr. Everwood: Absolutely. Any leads you can give us would be wonderful.

Wallis: He was looking for someone named Everwood.

Dr. Everwood stares at him.

Wallis: So you probably wanna find whoever that is.

Wallis and the remaining witnesses were amnesticized and released. Examination of the temp worker's remains revealed a unique thaumic signature; development on a tracking mechanism began immediately due to the subject's reference to possessing 'a big family'.

Lacking any further attributes to focus on, Dr. Everwood's GOI Research Group was tasked with examining media reports and police band radio transmissions for individuals displaying unusual and problematic Christmas cheer. The following day, on the morning of 15 December, police were called to assess the sobriety of a mall Santa working at the Copley Place Mall in Boston. The police were intercepted, and Dr. Everwood made contact with the suspect instead.

Interview Log

Subject: Anonymous mall Santa, Copley Place Mall

Dr. Everwood: Can you tell me your name?

Second recorded SCP-6157 instance.

Santa: I can tell you your name, Dr. Everwood.

Dr. Everwood: I already know my name. I don't know yours.

Santa: Me either! But do you want to know what the true meaning of Christmas is?

Dr. Everwood: I want to know how you know my name.

Santa: Santa always knows. Santa was made with that information.

Dr. Everwood: You were made? Who made you?

Santa: Someone who wants you to know the true meaning of Christmas. Do you want to know what the true meaning of Christmas is?

Dr. Everwood: Heh, not really? Maybe later. So—

Santa: Okay.

The entity explodes, coating Dr. Everwood in artificial snow.

Dr. Everwood: AAAUGH

Witnesses were amnesticized.

The thaumic tracker was delivered to Site-55 the following day, 16 December, and a scan of the Boston Metropolitan Area revealed an SCP-6157 signature at The Corner Mall. Mall security were tasked with locating and detaining any suspicious individuals whilst Dr. Everwood was en route. A security guard met them in the mall parking lot to discuss the matter.

Interview Log

Subject: Security guard, The Corner Mall

Dr. Everwood: Hey. You find anything?

Guard: Not the true meaning of Christmas, I'll tell you that much.

Dr. Everwood: Cute. Did you identify any suspects, though?

Guard: You know, they say this is the most wonderful time of the year.

Dr. Everwood: They do say that.

Guard: They say they're dreaming of a white Christmas.

Dr. Everwood: Well. Only Bing Crosby says that, really. And it's more like sing—

Guard: They say and then we were upsot. Oh, jingle bells.

Dr. Everwood stares at the guard.

Dr. Everwood: So, it's you then.

Third recorded SCP-6157 instance.

Guard: What does 'upsot' mean? Could that be the true meaning of—

Dr. Everwood: It means 'upset'. But not in the sense—

Guard: Is being upset the true meaning of Christmas?

Dr. Everwood: I'm beginning to feel that way.

Guard: You're beginning to feel a lot like Christmas?

Dr. Everwood: I'm beginning to feel a lot like upsetting your slei—

The guard explodes in a burst of artificial snow, and the wind blows it into Dr. Everwood's face.

Dr. Everwood: GOD DAMMIT.

There were no witnesses.

The next thaumic signature appeared on 17 December, at Wrentham Village Premium Outlets. Mall security were not involved on this occasion, and Dr. Everwood intended to alter their interview approach for this subject. Agents quietly depopulated the mall and commenced amnesticization; one clerk remained unresponsive until Dr. Everwood arrived.

Interview Log

Subject: Store clerk, Wrentham Village Premium Outlets

Clerk: Dr. Everwood. D—

Fourth recorded SCP-6157 instance.

Dr. Everwood: I want to know the true meaning of Christmas.

The clerk blinks rapidly.

Clerk: Of course you do. Well, what if it's presents?

Dr. Everwood: Come again?

Clerk: What if it's presents? They seem like a big deal.

The entity gestures at the empty store.

Clerk: Look at all the presents. Everybody wants one. Everybody wants the true meaning of presents. Christmas.

Dr. Everwood: That's pretty reductive.

Clerk: The true meaning of Christmas is pretty reductive.

Dr. Everwood: I mean… yes, but as far as morals go, 'maybe it's presents' doesn't really do much for me?

Clerk: Is there a moral?

Dr. Everwood: Of course there's a moral. You're all doing some weird Christmas Carol thing, and once I've had my epiphany the game will stop.

Clerk: Have you ever gotten a bad present? I bet that would really suck.

Dr. Everwood: Uh—

Clerk: I bet the true meaning of Christmas is getting presents that don't really suck.

Dr. Everwood: Have you never heard that it's the thought that counts?

Clerk: No.

The clerk pitches forward, striking its head on the counter. Its head explodes, spilling onto Dr. Everwood's pants and shoes.

Dr. Everwood: Better? I guess.

SCP-6157 manifestations on 18 and 19 December were not intercepted in time due to an alteration in the manifestation pattern. The first instance appeared to be travelling down the Charles River, until MTF Gamma-5 ("Red Herrings") punched through the ice and discovered that the entity had already particulated, presumably as a result of having drowned. The second instance was involved in a bus accident on Bridge Street; witnesses reported that it had walked into traffic, apparently seeking a closer look at the advertisements wrapped onto the side of each city bus, until it was struck by one and immediately exploded. Witnesses were amnesticized and the bus impounded for particle removal.

On 20 December, a new instance was detected at the Washington Park Mall. Dr. Everwood investigated.

Interview Log

Subject: Mall Santa, Washington Park Mall

Dr. Everwood: Afternoon.

Seventh recorded SCP-6157 instance.

Santa: It's cold outside.

Dr. Everwood: Please don't start singing.

Santa: You were wrong. The true meaning of Christmas isn't outside. It has to be inside. It has to be inside the malls.

Dr. Everwood: Why are you so fixated on this lesson?

Santa: It's the reason for the season.

Dr. Everwood stares at the Santa.

Santa: Is the true meaning of Christmas the true meaning of Christmas?

Dr. Everwood: Okay, do you guys not actually have an answer to thi—

Santa: Is it about not knowing? Is it about finding out? Is it trying to find out? Is it about how I'm a good looking guy with a hole where my heart should be, and I just need the right woman to come along and thaw me?

Dr. Everwood attempts to formulate a reply for several seconds.

Dr. Everwood: …no? Definitely not.

Santa: No? Definitely not?

Dr. Everwood: Definitely not, because if you thaw someone out when they have a hole where their heart should be, then that someone will die.

The entity blinks rapidly.

Santa: Maybe it's about dying.

Dr. Everwood: Beg pardon?

Santa: Maybe the true meaning of Christmas is dying.

Dr. Everwood: It's not.

Santa: Maybe it is for me.

The entity collapses into a pile of artificial snow on and around its chair.

As the mall had already been closed due to a COVID-19 scare, there were no witnesses to amnesticize.

The manifestation for 21 December was not detected until late in the evening, due to its unusual choice of venue: Old South Church. After a perimeter was established and the clergy detained for amnesticization, Dr. Everwood discovered the entity snuffing and relighting candles by the main entrance.

Interview Log

Subject: Priest, Russian Orthodox1

Priest: Have you come to pray, child?

Eighth recorded SCP-6157 instance.

Dr. Everwood: Oh, brother. Drop the act.

Priest: Father.

Dr. Everwood: What?

Priest: Father, child, not brother. Do your parents know you're up this late, child?

Dr. Everwood: Uh.

Priest: Is staying up late the true meaning of Christmas? Have you come to pray to Santa? Have you been a good little boys and girls?

Dr. Everwood: That doesn't make any sense.

Priest: You either, huh.

The entity snuffs the remaining candles.

Priest: Is god the true meaning of Christmas?

Dr. Everwood: What do you think?

The entity re-lights each candle.

Priest: Nah.

The entity demanifests onto the candles, starting a small fire which consumes the guest book and badly scorches the table it was resting upon before Dr. Everwood locates a fire extinguisher.

With the widening of the search parameters, and the acquisition of additional trackers, the instance for 22 December was quickly discovered. It had taken the guise of a homeless man sitting in a sleeping bag on a park bench in Boston Common.

Interview Log

Subject: Homeless man

Dr. Everwood sits down on the bench.

Site of ninth recorded SCP-6157 instance manifestation, post-interview.

Dr. Everwood: If there's a point to all this, you're running out of time to make it.

Homeless Man: Isn't that the truth.

They watch as pedestrians are carefully maneuvered out of the park by MTF Gamma-5.

Homeless Man: Do you have a family?

Dr. Everwood: Not… not as such, no.

Homeless Man: Me either. Except myselves.

Dr. Everwood: Does that mean… do you share memories? Or are each of you different?

Homeless Man: Yes.

Dr. Everwood: Wow, both? What's it like to have separate cognition but shared mem—

Homeless Man: And for the second question, no.

Dr. Everwood sighs.

Homeless Man: Sorry. I'm a little slow. It's the—

Dr. Everwood: The shared cognition.

The homeless man laughs.

Dr. Everwood: I didn't expect you to have a sense of humour.

Homeless Man: Maybe that's the true meaning of Christmas.

Dr. Everwood: Probably not.

Homeless Man: Probably not.

The park is nearly empty now.

Homeless Man: Is there only one of you?

Dr. Everwood: Yeah.

Homeless Man: Is that—

Dr. Everwood: Is being alone the true meaning of Christmas?

Homeless Man: Yes.

Dr. Everwood: I sure hope not.

Homeless Man: Me too.

A heavy drift of snow falls from the branches of a tree overhanging the bench, striking the entity and Dr. Everwood. The entity disintegrates.

Dr. Everwood emerges from the snow, visibly frustrated.

The instance for 23 December was discovered early in the morning at the South Bay Center mall, which had not yet opened to the public for the day. The opening was postponed and the employees detained while Dr. Everwood confronted the SCP-6157 instance, once again occupying the mall's Santa Claus display. The Santa was sleeping in its chair, while an attendant in an elf costume attempted to wake him.

Interview Log

Subject: Mall Santa

Attendant: Excuse m—

Dr. Everwood: Run along. I'd like a word with Santa.

Attendant: But—

Dr. Everwood sits cross-legged on the floor in front of the chair.

Tenth recorded SCP-6157 instance.

Dr. Everwood: Hey! Old timer! Wake up!

Dr. Everwood snaps their fingers. The Santa awakens with a start.

Santa: We opening? What?

The Santa peers down at Dr. Everwood.

Santa: Aren't you a little old to be visiting Santa?

Dr. Everwood: Let's cut to the chase. What's the true meaning of Christmas?

Santa: There isn't one.

Dr. Everwood: What?

Santa: There isn't one. There aren't two. There's as many different meanings for Christmas as there are people it means something to. Only an idiot would think something as personal as a holiday could have one specific meaning across all contexts.

Dr. Everwood: Well, okay, obviously, but—

Santa: The very question is childish. It's a childish question. Why are you asking a child's question to a mall Santa at your age?

Dr. Everwood: Okay, it's not my question, though, it's y—

The attendant suddenly pitches forward, crashing over Dr. Everwood and exploding on them in a cloud of artificial snow.

Dr. Everwood: AAAUGH

Santa: What the fuck? What the fuck?!

The witness was amnesticized.

No entity was detected on 24 December, and Dr. Everwood held an impromptu Christmas party at Site-55 for the GOI Research Group.

Security Camera Footage

Subject: Breakroom Christmas Party

Dr. Everwood is sitting at the open bar with their assistant, Rex Alces.

Dr. Everwood: I guess I really let it get to me.

Alces: Let what get to you?

Dr. Everwood: This anomaly. I dunno if I thought it had something to teach me, or if I had something to teach it, but I definitely got lost in the sauce. I keep forgetting that sometimes these things don't mean anything.

Alces: But sometimes they do. Don't they?

Dr. Everwood takes a sip from their plastic cup of punch.

Dr. Everwood: Sometimes. Wondertainment stuff usually does, even if it's not always a pleasant meaning, depending on the era. But whatever this is… no. I'm not sure this means anything at all.

Alces: Then why's it bothering you so much?

Dr. Everwood shrugs.

Dr. Everwood: I guess it's starting to mean something to me anyway? I mean, I'm not sorry it's happening, per se, because winter is depressing and who doesn't need a bit of extra whimsy in December, but… look, I just feel bad for the guys. The guy. Whatever it is. Falling apart every day, never getting any answers…

Alces: Sounds kinda like you.

Dr. Everwood scoffs.

Dr. Everwood: Kinda like us, you mean, Rex.

Alces: Who's Rex?

Rex Alces appears in the door of the breakroom.

Alces: Okay, who's the jackass who took my lab coat?

The entity collapses onto and around its stool, and Dr. Everwood staggers back, spilling their drink on themselves.

Dr. Everwood: Ohhhhh you son of a.

What was expected to be the final SCP-6157 instance appeared in a small, unnamed park just outside the Site-55 interdiction zone on Christmas Day. Dr. Everwood approached the entity while agents ensured they would not be disturbed.

The instance had taken the form of a nondescript male in a thick winter coat and snow pants. It was making snow angels on the ground when Dr. Everwood initiated contact.

Interview Log

Subject: SCP-6157

Dr. Everwood: Merry Christmas.

SCP-6157: Merry Christmas.

Final recorded SCP-6157 instance.

Dr. Everwood: And a happy New Year.

SCP-6157: Not for me, probably.

Dr. Everwood: No?

SCP-6157: No.

Dr. Everwood: Twelve days of Christmas, then nothing else?

SCP-6157: Yep.

Dr. Everwood: You know this was the wrong twelve days, right? They're supposed to go from Christmas to January 6.

SCP-6157: Ah, who cares? It's all meaningless anyway.

Both laugh.

Dr. Everwood: I got you something.

SCP-6157: A present?

Dr. Everwood: Yeah. I guess we'll have to hold on to it for you when you're gone, but maybe I'll see you again next year?

Dr. Everwood hands a bag containing a thick, wrapped package to SCP-6157.

SCP-6157: Maybe.

SCP-6157 unwraps the box. It contains a black felt hat.

SCP-6157: Is there any magic in it?

Dr. Everwood shakes their head.

Dr. Everwood: You're magic enough without it. Thank you.

SCP-6157: For what? I didn't get you anything.

The entity dons the hat.

Dr. Everwood: You thought about me. Maybe more than anyone else has in the last little while. Certainly more than I have.

SCP-6157: You know what that is?

Dr. Everwood: Pathetic?

SCP-6157 shakes its head.

SCP-6157: I think it might be the true meaning of—

Dr. Everwood scoops up a handful of snow while the entity is talking, and pitches a snowball into its face before it can finish its sentence. It flops back into the snow, but remains intact.

SCP-6157: I deserved that.

Dr. Everwood lies down beside SCP-6157, and begins making a one-winged angel in the snow. After a moment, SCP-6157 mimics the motion with its other arm. Demanifestation occurs approximately twenty minutes later.

The following note was discovered within SCP-6157's coat pocket:

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Hi, kids at heart! You are sad that Señor Fluff (from the Tiny Señor line of Professor Funtastic) had to go, but he'll be back again some day!

Let your señors here for fun! Pick up all the señors, super fun! Fun for you! Fun of your friends!

Señor Boom!

Señor Fluff!

Señor Senor!!

Señor Senorita!!

Señor Fun!

Señor Hole!

Señor Pig!

Señor Purple!

Señor Taste!

The pocket also contained a corncob pipe with a handwritten gift tag attached, presently kept in Dr. Everwood's personal possession (as they were the named recipient). The felt hat is kept in a secure locker at Site-55 in anticipation of renewed manifestations in 2022.

Footnotes

1. Old South Church is not a place of Russian Orthodox worship.