"Across countless timelines, realities and simulated scenarios, it has always been a push door."

+ CODE

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/*
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Item#: SCP-7643

Containment Class: euclid

Secondary Class: memet

Disruption Class: dark

Risk Class: notice

Special Containment Procedures: All Site-43 staff must adhere to Protocol Deostiation at all times.

Description: SCP-7643 is an infohazard that impacts a single individual, designated SCP-7643-1, at a time. SCP-7643 causes an ontokinetic shift whenever SCP-7643-1 interacts with a one-way, non-automatic door. Through unknown methods,1 SCP-7643 is able to transfer between hosts.

When an SCP-7643-1 instance attempts to pull a door, SCP-7643 retroactively applies an ontokinetic shift, inverting the door swing2 such that the door opens the opposite direction. If an SCP-7643-1 instance persists in alternating between pushing and pulling, SCP-7643's effect will occur each time, for a period of time greater than 5 minutes, with no recorded maximum duration.

Addendum 1: Discovery

On March 22nd, 2023, the following exchange was recorded between Dr. Garrison and Dr. Lillihammer. It is the first confirmed instance of SCP-7643 in Foundation records.

Security Log 7643-A Transcript

[BEGIN LOG]

Dr. Heather Garrison is recorded as she approaches the doors to Testing Room 432-A.

Dr. Garrison: I'm fucking exhausted, can we just get this over with?

Dr. Lillihammer: Heather? You're suggesting we, gasp, cut corners?

Dr. Garrison: Babe. Not today.

Dr. Garrison reaches the threshold — she pushes on the door, activating SCP-7643, and inverting the door swing. She pushes a few more times.

Dr. Garrison: Really?

Dr. Lillihammer: Have you tried pulling the door?

Dr. Garrison: Thanks Lilli, I'll be sure to try that.

Dr. Garrison begins to pull on the door, activating SCP-7643, switching the door state. It does not move. Dr. Garrison begins to push and pull on the door alternating, in rapid succession.

Dr. Garrison: MOTHERFUCKER I WILL KICK YOU I—

Dr. Lillihammer: Are you sure you're pulling it? I know it's a complex concept, I'd be happy to give you some pointers?

Dr. Garrison glares at Dr. Lillihammer. Though the mechanics are unknown, it is believed that the previous exchange resulted in the transfer of SCP-7643.

Dr. Garrison: Look, watch. Pull.

Dr. Garrison pulls the door, which opens without issue.

Dr. Garrison: No, fuck this, I'm done.

[END LOG]

Following the above incident, Dr. Garrison submitted a request for security videos, to determine if an anomaly was present; before the request could be granted, SCP-7643 was captured on another security camera.

Security Log 7643-B Transcript

[BEGIN LOG]

Dr. Lillian Lillihammer and Dr. Harry Blank are captured approaching the doors to Site-43's Cafeteria-A.

Dr. Lillihammer: I don't know what's up with Heath. Yeah, she's cranky sometimes, so am I. But today, she was just… more frustrated than normal?

Dr. Blank: Hmm? How so?

Dr. Lillihammer: Harry, she stormed off because of a door.

Dr. Blank: Weird. Maybe there's something else going on?

Dr. Lillihammer approaches the leftmost door to the cafeteria and pushes on it. SCP-7643 activates, and it does not budge.

Dr. Lillihammer: Motherfucker.

Dr. Blank: What's wrong now?

Dr. Lillihammer: Harry, this is a pull door.

Dr. Blank: Okay?

Dr. Lillihammer: No, you don't understand. This is a pull door.

Dr. Blank: Yeah. You pull them, not push.

Dr. Lillihammer: Asshole. My point is, we both agree that when I push on this door, nothing happens, because, it is a pull door, right?

Dr. Blank: Okay, sure, we agree. It's a pull door.

Dr. Lillihammer: But it shouldn't be a pull door.

Dr. Blank: Lillian, there's no need to be embarrassed about pushing on a pull door, it happens all the time. People forget, it's no bi—

Dr. Lillihammer: Harry, look who you're fucking talking to, okay? I need you to understand this; throughout the entire time I've worked on this Site, this door has been a push door. Across countless timelines, realities and simulated scenarios, it has always been a push door.

Dr. Blank: But your memory is — could you be wrong?

Dr. Lillihammer: Harry. Please.

Dr. Blank: Well there goes my lunch. All because Lillian Lillihammer forgot how to open a door.

[END LOG]

Following the events of Security Log 7643-B, it is believed that Dr. Harry Blank became the new SCP-7643-1 instance. The next transfer would be the final one, prior to the implementation of Protocol Deostiation.

Addendum 2: Incident 7643-W

On March 23rd, 2023, Incident 7643-W occurred, transferring SCP-7643 to its current host. The following security log captures the moment of transfer.

Incident 7643-W Transcript

[BEGIN LOG]

Dr. Harry Blank and Dr. William Wettle are seen outside of Site-43, as a heavy rain begins. Both rush towards the doors, which Dr. Blank reaches first. He attempts to pull on the door, which activates SCP-7643.

Dr. Blank: Fuck. I can't believe Lillian gave m—

Dr. Wettle: Ha. Idiot. You can't even open a door.

SCP-7643 transfers to Dr. Wettle, now SCP-7643-W.

Dr. Blank: Well that worked out nicely.

Dr. Blank pushes the door, entering Site-43. The door closes behind him. Dr. Wettle approaches the same door, and attempts to push, activating SCP-7643.

Dr. Wettle: Wait, what?

Dr. Wettle is observed attempting to open the same door for the next 4 hours, as the rain continues to fall.

[END LOG]

Following the events of Incident 7643-W, Dr. Lillihammer, Dr. Garrison and Dr. Blank submitted this file, alongside a proposal for 'Protocol Deostiation'.3 After a swift approval by the Site-43 section chairs, it was enacted and has run without issue since, as detailed in the notice below.

NOTICE FROM THE SITE-43 SECTION CHAIRS REGARDING PROTOCOL DEOSTIATION

To all staff employed at Site-43, excluding Dr. William Wettle,

To maintain containment of SCP-7643, Protocol Deostiation has been implemented. Following Protocol Deostiation is considered a top priority for all staff, and any individuals found to be in violation will be punished accordingly.

As per Protocol Deostiation, individuals are prohibited from mocking, making jokes at or about, taunting, teasing, or engaging in commentary that could be construed as 'sarcastic' or 'insulting' towards Dr. William Wettle, also known as SCP-7643-W, when he is attempting to open a door.

Due to Dr. Wettle's latent abilities, our hope is SCP-7643 will be assumed as an extension of those effects, causing a negligible additional harm, and containment will be ensured through self-deprecation.

Please note that this does not restrict actions or statements made towards Dr. Wettle during periods where he is not actively attempting to open a door.

Footnotes

1. Update: See Protocol Deostiation for details behind the transfer mechanics.

2. The mechanical pieces of a door that determine if it opens in or out.

3. Deostiation is defined as 'The act of throwing something or someone out of a door.'