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4/2304 LEVEL 4/2304

CLASSIFIED

Item #: SCP-2304

SCP-2304-4, SCP-2304-9, and SCP-2304-11, edited to remove cognitohazardous properties.

Special Containment Procedures: Foundation AIs are to analyze all images posted to high-traffic online social media groups centered around the discovery of SCP-2304 instances. Any images found to contain cognitohazardous properties are to be systematically removed from their respective image hosting services and saved to a Foundation server.

Description: SCP-2304 is the collective designation for a group of at least 14 images all carrying some degree of cognitohazardous properties1. SCP-2304 instances take the form of common internet memes2, and are artificially over-processed and edited for comedic effect. All SCP-2304 instances carry the ability to cause spontaneous muscle cell growth upon viewing, often resulting in death the constriction of air passages and consequent medical issues. (UPDATED 2020-09-12)

Discovery Log:

SCP-2304 first came to the Foundation's attention in 2019, after a series of suspicious deaths from constricted airways caused by extreme cell growth in the throat. It was initially classified as an unknown vector, but following the ΩK "End of Death" scenario on 2020-09-12, several surviving victims were located and interviewed to discover the source of the anomaly. A victim of an SCP-2304 instance revealed to Foundation personnel that they had acquired the SCP-2304 instance from an internet relay chatroom, #██████████, under the handle "OxyGenesis". Agent Smith was chosen to attempt to infiltrate this community, under the handle "PebbleTooth".

Attached Files:

#██████████ Excerpts

- Close

Excerpt: September 28th, 2021

PebbleTooth has joined.

Komodo: OPS does anybody know this guy

commodore69: im gonna fucking punt you if you keep pinging us for dumb shit

PebbleTooth: Komodo: hello

FastNJammin: PebbleTooth: yo, how did you like

FastNJammin: find this place

stormstorm: through the internet, id bet

FastNJammin: stormstorm: kinda busy here

PebbleTooth: FastNJammin: A friend thought i'd like it, OxyGenesis.

Komodo: oh fuck, oxygenesis

stormstorm: haven't seen him for a while

PebbleTooth: he got busy with irl stuff

FastNJammin: I trust oxy's judgement. welcome.

PebbleTooth: so, uh

PebbleTooth: what goes on here? oxy told me something about like, memes

stormstorm: oxy probably explained to u what anart is, right?

PebbleTooth: he told me they were like irl memes

Takeovermetal uploaded file 1632838905.png 1mb ⬇

FastNJammin kicked Takeovermetal. Reason: NSFW.

commodore69: lmao

Komodo: yeah but like, anart can affect your brain

PebbleTooth: like, optical illusions?

stormstorm: optical illusions on roids lmao

Komodo: slightly more powerful than that

Komodo: but yee, we like sharing them. finding cool ones.

PebbleTooth: can i see

commodore69: not yet dude

commodore69: you've been here like 10 minutes, chill lol

PebbleTooth: sry

stormstorm: s'okay. but we'll show you when we're sure you're not a snitch

PebbleTooth: what's there to snitch on

Komodo: some of the images can be dangerous

Komodo: we deal with those

PebbleTooth: it's not like it can kill you

stormstorm: lol

Excerpt: December 14th, 2021

FastNJammin set the topic: Merry Xmas/Hanukkah/Whatever, y'all.

PebbleTooth: happy holidays everyone

stormstorm: FastNJammin: you too, old fart

commodore69: w/e

Komodo: commodore69: aw, don't be a grinch

commodore69: Komodo: fuck you asshole

Komodo: r00d

FastNJammin: chill out, commodore69

commodore69: sorry.

commodore69: not having a good holiday season.

PebbleTooth: you want to talk about it?

commodore69: what's there to talk about? spending the holidays alone in a dorm while anyone who has a goddamn life is out fucking doing something

commodore69: im failing two classes and im pretty sure im gonna get fired soon

commodore69: drowning in fucking debt and i can't even end it all anymore

commodore69: should've done it when i had the chance.

FastNJammin kicked commodore69. Reason: Not the place or the time, my man.

Komodo: i don't think that was a good decision

FastNJammin: Then it's a good thing I didn't ask you.

commodore69 has joined.

Excerpt: January 11th, 2022

Komodo: stormstorm: commodore69: yo check this one out

Komodo uploaded file 1704964371.png3 2mb ⬇

stormstorm: think that one gave me a tiny headache. not much, if anything.

commodore69: probably placebo or w/e

commodore69: komodo: damn you got my hopes up and everything lol

PebbleTooth: what were you hoping for?

stormstorm: yo pebbles

commodore69: not sure, to be honest. i know that none of the really bad ones matter anymore, cause of you can't die and all, but still can't help but hope.

PebbleTooth: oh.

Excerpt: January 11th, 2022 (Private Messages)

Komodo: yo

PebbleTooth: hey

Komodo: so

Komodo: about commodore

PebbleTooth: what about him?

Komodo: he's kind of a weird dude

PebbleTooth: ?

Komodo: you've been around for, what, 2 months or so?

PebbleTooth: just about, yes

Komodo: you've probably noticed this isn't like a

Komodo: super positive environment?

PebbleTooth: i suppose so

Komodo: yeah, commodore is like that, but way worse

Komodo: just, a deeply unhappy dude.

PebbleTooth: i see

Komodo: i'm not saying walk on eggshells around him but like

Komodo: just, be mindful of what you say.

PebbleTooth: thanks for the heads-up

Komodo: np. you're a good dude, i like having you around.

Excerpt: January 28th, 2022

commodore69: FUCK

Komodo: what

commodore69: fucking fuck

PebbleTooth: Is something wrong?

commodore69: i got fired from work

commodore69: godDAMMIT

PebbleTooth: Sorry to hear that.

commodore69: why does this shit always happen to me

stormstorm: didnt you tell me that you've been slacking on the job

commodore69: so

stormstorm: im just sayin, you cant say this was unexpected

Komodo: just let the guy vent

commodore69: thank you

commodore69: stormstorm: i told you that in confidence :/

commodore69: w/e

commodore69: but yeah. dunno what im gonna do now.

PebbleTooth: Do you have living arrangements.

commodore69: ill probably bunk with a friend

commodore69: just

commodore69: FUCK, dude

commodore69: i fucking hate my life

stormstorm: Well you cant end it now, so i guess we're both in it for the long run

FastNJammin: …

FastNJammin: I'm not going to kick you, but I'd ask that you not talk about other users committing suicide.

stormstorm: duly noted.

Komodo: Yeah thats uh

Komodo: not cool

commodore69: i dont care

commodore69: just fucking sick of it

PebbleTooth: I hope your situation gets resolved, man.

commodore69: yeah

commodore69: me too

Excerpt: February 17th, 2022

FastNJammin: you all already know what time it is

FastNJammin: selfie hour

FastNJammin: uploaded file 1708164491.png 358.53kb ⬇

FastNJammin:

stormstorm: god why r you so old

commodore69: do i have to

Komodo: commodore69: depends, are you a coward?

commodore69: yes

commodore69: uploaded file 1708164504.png 255.571kb ⬇

commodore69:

stormstorm: look at this sad mf

stormstorm: what a sad boi

stormstorm: why is he sad

commodore69: shut

stormstorm: no

Komodo: stormstorm: lay off

stormstorm: Komodo: weird, i don't remember asking you

FastNJammin: Calm down, both of you.

commodore69: ur fighting for no reason

stormstorm: you'd know a lot about that

commodore69: …

commodore69: what the fuck is that supposed to mean

stormstorm: im just saying i'm not the one constantly getting in people's faces

commodore69: when the fuck have i ever done that

stormstorm: when you started spouting off to PebbleTooth like he was ur personal therapist

PebbleTooth: It wasn't really like that.

commodore69: am i not allowed to talk about my personal stuff now

stormstorm: not when they were clearly annoyed by it

commodore69: PebbleTooth: you were annoyed by it?

PebbleTooth: No. I never said that.

commodore69: stormstorm: see

commodore69: stormstorm: just fucking shut your mouth about shit you know nothing about

stormstorm: you dont get to decide what people feel about your self-pity

stormstorm: and you cant stop people from voicing their opinions on you being a constant downer here

Channel mode set to +m by •FastNJammin

FastNJammin: I stepped away for five minutes to go deal with something and I come back to this.

FastNJammin: You all are adults.

FastNJammin: Fucking behave yourselves.

Channel mode set to -m by •FastNJammin

Interview 2304.1:

From the metadata located in the images of the channel members, Foundation personnel were able to locate the GPS coordinates where the images were taken. MTF Mu-4 "Debuggers" operatives were dispatched to the locations to detain the members of #██████████.

Interview Log

- Close

Interviewed: Ryan Romero, handle "commodore69"

Interviewer: Agent Smith

Foreword: Romero was detained and brought to Site-56 for interrogation.

<Begin Log>

Agent Smith enters the interview room.

Agent Smith: Evening, Mr. Romero.

Romero: I want a lawyer.

Agent Smith: I'm afraid we can't do that.

Romero: I'm a US citizen, I have the right to a lawyer. I'm not a dumbass.

Agent Smith: You're not in United States government jurisdiction at the moment, sir.

Romero: What the fuck do you even want?

Agent Smith: We'd just like to know where you acquired the images. Nothing more.

Romero: What images?

Agent Smith: The ones you posted in #██████████.

Romero: … How do you know about those?

Agent Smith: That's not within my clearance to tell you.

Romero: It was the fucking new guy, wasn't it? Bastard.

Agent Smith: Please answer the question.

Romero sighs.

Romero: What images specifically?

Agent Smith produces non-anomalous replications of several SCP-2304 instances.

Romero: Oh.

Agent Smith: Can you remember where you saved them from?

Romero: Yeah. Some of them.

Agent Smith: Not all?

Romero: #██████████ isn't the biggest source for anart memes. Not by a longshot.

Agent Smith: You're in other such chatrooms?

Romero: Yeah. A bunch. #██████████████, #█████,#████████.

Agent Smith: Why would you willingly expose yourself to harmful mind-affecting phenomena?

Romero: I mean, I guess it's the same reason people drink or do drugs.

Agent Smith: An addiction?

Romero: Not… entirely? There's definitely an aspect of it, but I think it's more…

Romero hesitates.

Agent Smith: What's wrong?

Romero: I think it's more the feeling you get when you're driving along the highway and have the urge to swerve into the oncoming lane.

Agent Smith: I- I'm not familiar with it.

Romero: Fucking-

Romero breathes deeply.

Romero: No, you do. Because if you don't, I'm just fucked, and I'm not willing to believe that.

Agent Smith: Okay, so, this fee-

Romero: Yeah, it's like that. It's just- It's so much easier to end things than to deal with shit.

Agent Smith: Well, we don't get to make that choice.

Romero: Tha- That's the fucking thing. I can actually do it, I can open the damn link and if, for some fucking reason, it actually kills me, my last thoughts won't be about how many other people I hurt.

<End Log>

Closing Statement: Investigations into the provided chatrooms are currently ongoing.

Footnotes

1. Subdesignated SCP-2304-1 through 14.

2. Images created and shared by internet users, typically to incite a humorous response from the receiver.

3. Image blocked for possible cognitohazardous properties.

Excerpt: January 12th, 2024 (Private Messages)

PebbleTooth: hello.

commodore69: hi.

PebbleTooth: how've you been?

commodore69: as good as i can be.

PebbleTooth: i'm surprised they didn't amnesticize you.

commodore69: i don't know what they did, but i can't talk about any of it anymore. the words just don't come out.

PebbleTooth: ah.

commodore69: what the fuck do you want, man?

PebbleTooth: to apologize.

commodore69: fuck off, dude.

PebbleTooth: i'm sorry.

commodore69: look, we're good. i'm h

commodore69: i'm fine, and i'm doing better than i was. i don't need your pity.

commodore69: far as i fucking know, you're trying to get me arrested again. you're a liar, none of it was real, nothing you said was genuine. it was for a fucking job.

PebbleTooth: i had to do it, but i meant what i said. i'm sorry.

commodore69: yeah, me too, bud.

commodore69 disconnected.

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