by AnActualCrow

Item#: 5590

Containment Class: safe

Secondary Class: {$secondary-class}

Disruption Class: vlam

Risk Class: caution

SCP-5590 (picture taken during acquisition)

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5590 is to be kept in a small entity containment cell with all furniture removed. Changes in SCP-5590's behavior and damage to SCP-5590's containment cell are to be reported to SCP-5590's Head Researcher before any actions are to be taken.

As per the request of Head Researcher Arelli, SCP-5590's cell must contain 1 modified Rubik's cube at all times.

Description: SCP-5590 is a 15cm tall sentient humanoid robot. SCP-5590 will attempt, to the best of its ability, to be as much of a non-violent nuisance as possible. This may entail the following:

Removing or switching labels on items.

Minor to moderate damage to structures. This damage is not severe enough to put structural integrity at risk.

Moderate to severe damage to objects. This may cause objects to break when used.

Providing excessive sensory stimulation to personnel around SCP-5590. This often includes producing loud and constant noises or reflecting light into the eyes of personnel, but may involve touch, taste, smell, or a combination of senses.

SCP-5590's arms can retract into its body and reappear as an appendage with a variety of tools at the end instead of a hand. Tools that have been observed at the end of SCP-5590's appendages include: a circular saw, a drill, a nozzle full of glue, and a lighter.

Incident Log 5590-1: SCP-5590 cut a small piece of debris from the wall of its cell. SCP-5590 repeatedly threw this debris at a camera that was monitoring it, cracking the lens. The camera lens was replaced and the debris was removed from the cell. 6 hours later, SCP-5590 used another piece of debris to crack the camera lens again.

Note from Head Researcher Arelli: Leave it. We can still see SCP-5590 through the cracked lens, and it isn’t worth constantly replacing.

Test Series 1: Object Familiarity & Recognition

Purpose: Determine SCP-5590's intelligence.

PROTOCOL
RESULT
ADDITIONAL NOTES

A wooden chair was placed in SCP-5590’s containment cell.
SCP-5590 used its circular saw appendage to shorten one of the chair’s legs by 1.5 cm, causing it to rock.

N/A

The wooden chair from the previous test was removed from SCP-5590's containment cell. SCP-5590 was re-introduced to the chair the next day.
SCP-5590 used its circular saw appendage to make cuts along the entire wooden surface of the chair, giving it a rough texture.
Head Researcher Arelli was given multiple splinters while trying to remove the chair from SCP-5590's containment cell. Head Researcher Arelli removed the chair by pushing it with his foot.

The wooden chair from the previous test was removed from SCP-5590's containment cell. SCP-5590 was re-introduced to the chair the next day.
SCP-5590 cut two deep grooves into the chair's backrest.
The backrest of the chair is expected to break if someone Head Researcher Arelli's weight (or heavier) were to lean back on it.

Incident Log 5590-2: On 3/7/1986, SCP-5590 began making a series of gestures indicating distress towards the camera in its cell. Head Researcher Arelli was repeatedly unable to calm SCP-5590. After 23 minutes, Researcher Coleman successfully calmed SCP-5590. Neither researcher was able to identify a cause for SCP-5590's distress.

Incident Log 5590-3: On 3/18/1986, SCP-5590 began using its circular saw appendage to make small cuts into the floor and walls of its cell. This creates a constant high-pitched cutting noise that persists throughout the day.

Note From Head Researcher Arelli: We can't stop the noise. I talked to a couple of the technicians, and the system the cameras run on don't allow volume control for the individual camera feeds. Our only option is to have sound coming in from all of the feeds or none. The Site Directors won't allow me to turn it off for all of them because some of the SCPs on other camera feeds need to be listened to.

I've decided to change the risk class from "Notice" to "Caution" before the thing gives me tinnitus.

Test Series 2: Hobbies

Purpose: Determine if occupying SCP-5590 with a task prevents it from damaging its containment cell.

PROTOCOL
RESULT
ADDITIONAL NOTES

Head Researcher Arelli lightly tossed a ping-pong ball towards SCP-5590.
SCP-5590 caught the ball and used its lighter appendage to ignite the ball.
Head Researcher Arelli extinguished the fire. SCP-5590 and its containment cell suffered no damage.

Head Researcher Arelli placed a sheet of blank paper and a pen in SCP-5590's cell.
SCP-5590 drew a portrait of Researcher Coleman next to an unidentified, crudely drawn individual.
The height difference between Researcher Coleman and the individual loosely matches the height difference between Researcher Coleman and Head Researcher Arelli.

Researcher Coleman lightly tossed a ping-pong ball towards SCP-5590.
SCP-5590 caught the ball and tossed it back to Researcher Coleman. This continued for 35 minutes, before Researcher Coleman was instructed to leave SCP-5590's cell.
SCP-5590 appeared excited to see Researcher Coleman, hugging his leg when he entered SCP-5590's cell. With the exception of Head Researcher Arelli, SCP-5590 has exhibited a similar reaction with all staff members.

INPUT CREDENTIALS FOR HEAD RESEARCHER ARELLI

ACCESS GRANTED

To: ten.pics|illerA.remO#ten.pics|illerA.remO

From: ten.pics|ylperon#ten.pics|ylperon

Subject: Request for personal equipment

Your request for noise-cancelling earbuds has been denied for failing to meet the Foundation's surveillance security requirements. For more information, see "Guidelines for SCP: Security Cameras Protect".

If you would like to appeal this claim, please contact the Health and Security Department of your site.

ACCESS GRANTED

Addendum 5590-1: SCP-5590 has stopped and started cutting the walls and floor of its cell at irregular intervals. Additionally, SCP-5590 has begun making significantly shallower, quieter cuts into the walls and floor of its cell if any staff members1 are within earshot.

Test Series 3: Problem-Solving Ability

Purpose: Further determine SCP-5590's intelligence by testing its problem-solving ability.

Foreword: All tests were conducted by Head Researcher Arelli.

PROTOCOL
RESULT
ADDITIONAL NOTES

A sealed cardboard box with a red ball was left inside of SCP-5590's containment cell for 4 days. A note was left outside the box telling SCP-5590 to retrieve the ball from the box.
SCP-5590 used its circular saw appendage to cut a hole in the box. SCP-5590 then climbed into the box and resealed the hole using its glue nozzle appendage.
When asked to show the ball, SCP-5590 appeared confused. The red ball was not found in the box and has not been recovered since.

A red ball was put into a metal box. The box was locked using a combination lock and left in SCP-5590's containment cell for 4 days. The note from the previous test was placed outside of the box.
SCP-5590 filled the combination lock mechanism with glue, jamming it as the glue hardened.
Due to the lock being jammed, Head Researcher Arelli was unable to open the box.

Afterword: Test results were inconclusive.

Test Series 4: Favorites

Purpose: Why does SCP-5590 hate Omer Arelli?

PROTOCOL
RESULT
ADDITIONAL NOTES

Head Researcher Arelli and Researcher DeVorace stood equal distances away from SCP-5590 in its cell.
SCP-5590 immediatly ran towards Researcher DeVorace and hugged her right leg.
Head Researcher Arelli reported that SCP-5590 stared at him while hugging Researcher DeVorace. Camera footage of SCP-5590 was blocked by DeVorace's leg, making Arelli's claim unconfirmable.

Head Researcher Arelli, wearing a mask and a lanyard with DeVorace's researcher ID, lightly tossed a ping-pong ball towards SCP-5590.
SCP-5590 caught the ball and tossed it back to Head Researcher Arelli. This continued for 8 minutes before Head Researcher Arelli's mask partially slipped off of his face.

N/A

Researcher DeVorace gave SCP-5590 a pen and paper, then asked it why it doesn't like Head Researcher Arelli.
SCP-5590 shook its head "no". When asked if it dislikes Head Researcher Arelli, SCP-5590 shook its head "no".
When asked why it thinks Head Researcher Arelli feels that SCP-5590 doesn't like him, SCP-5590 looked at the camera in its cell and shrugged.

Afterword: Test results were inconclusive. It should be noted, however, that SCP-5590 will blatantly lie about not hating Head Researcher Arelli whenever possible.

Incident Log 5590-4: Using its circular saw appendage, SCP-5590 removed a piece of concrete from the wall of its containment cell. SCP-5590 threw the piece of concrete at the camera, shattering the lens and making remote footage of SCP-5590's cell impossible. When staff arrived to replace the lens, they found that SCP-5590 had dug a small tunnel in the Southern wall of its cell2. SCP-5590 was found standing inside the tunnel, which was only 30 cm deep and did not lead anywhere. When found, SCP-5590 waved at staff and exited the tunnel cooperatively.

Addendum 5590-2: SCP-5590 has been moved to a new small entity containment cell. This cell is similar to SCP-5590's previous cell, the exception being that the camera monitoring SCP-5590 is now behind a plexiglass window, preventing SCP-5590 from damaging it.

Note: Site Director Hoff has reminded Head Researcher Arelli that SCP-5590's containment has been significantly more expensive than initially expected. This was said despite not being Arelli's fault that he was assigned a robot that has dedicated itself to making everything frustrating.

INPUT CREDENTIALS FOR HEAD RESEARCHER ARELLI

ACCESS GRANTED

To: ten.pics|illerA.remO#ten.pics|illerA.remO

From: ten.pics|ffoH.drahciR#ten.pics|ffoH.drahciR

Subject: Re: request for transfer

After reviewing your request for transfer and all documentation on SCP-5590, your request for transfer has been denied. Keep in mind that staff may only be transferred if one or more of the following conditions are met:

Personal affiliation with the SCP that would influence one's work.

Risk of harm to oneself that is more severe and/or prevalent than for other staff members in one's position.

Injury (physical, psychological, etc.) which severely limits one's ability to work.

Perpetrating, being the victim of, or being affiliated with a severe disciplinary infraction (see "Coworkers: The Thaumiels Around Us").

Your claim that SCP-5590 attempting to elicit a negative emotional reaction from you (please refrain from using crude language in emails to faculty) does not appear to hinder your ability to work in such a way that would necessitate a transfer.

Before I was a site director, I was the head researcher for a few SCPs. For that reason, I'd like to leave you with the following advice: being a head researcher is hard. Due to their positions and duties (extensively monitoring their SCP, conducting or supervising tests involving their SCP, etc.) head researchers tend to become much more familiar with their SCPs than other staff members. For that reason, head researchers may feel that the SCP they were assigned to has some personal connection to them. Head researchers may see an SCP as being much more sentient, cognizant, or mentally capable of liking and disliking certain people than they actually are. SCP-5590 doesn't lie about hating you. Chances are it doesn't even know who you are. Your belief that the SCP you were assigned to dislikes you is common amongst new head researchers, and I would hate to see you throw in the towel because you fell victim to such a common misconception.

ACCESS GRANTED

Test Series 5: Stop Making Noise

Purpose:

Foreword: Arelli did all of these tests.

PROTOCOL
RESULT
ADDITIONAL NOTES

SCP-5590's arms were tied to its body.
SCP-5590 pressed its body up against the wall of its cell, allowing it to cut into the wall using its circular saw appendage.

N/A

SCP-5590's arms were tied to its body. SCP-5590 was placed in a dog kennel3 inside of its cell.
SCP-5590 caused considerable noise by repeatedly running into the sides of the dog kennel.
While SCP-5590 was able to cut into the sides of the dog kennel, it was unable to cut a hole large enough to leave the dog kennel.

SCP-5590 was put in a bucket of water, which was then frozen.
Using its lighter and circular saw appendages, SCP-5590 melted and cut through the ice surrounding it.
Test was terminated 24 days after it started when SCP-5590 cut a hole in the side of the bucket and exited it.

Test Series 6: Problem Solving Ability (continued)

Purpose: Determine if giving SCP-5590 a task prevents it from being an [EXPUNGED]4.

Forword: All tests were conducted by Researcher Coleman and remotely supervised by Head Researcher Arelli.

PROTOCOL
RESULT
ADDITIONAL NOTES

A sealed cardboard box with a red ball was left inside of SCP-5590's containment cell for 4 days. A note was left outside the box telling SCP-5590 to retrieve the ball from the box.
SCP-5590 used its circular saw appendage to cut a hole in the box. SCP-5590 retrieved the ball and melted it using its lighter appendage.

N/A

A red ball was put into a metal box. The box was locked using a combination lock and left in SCP-5590's containment cell for 4 days. The note from the previous test was placed outside of the box.
SCP-5590 spent the first 3 days attempting to cut a hole into the side of the box. After inflicting only minor damage, SCP-5590 spent the remainder of the test attempting to guess the combination of the lock. SCP-5590 did not retrieve the ball during the allotted time.
That robot cutting metal is the only sound worse than it cutting concrete.

A scrambled Rubik's cube was given to SCP-5590. Two of the stickers on the Rubik's cube were switched, making it impossible to solve.
SCP-5590 unsuccesfully attempted to solve the Rubik's cube. Despite expressing immense frustration at the task, SCP-5590 has continued attempting to solve the Rubik's cube for 4 hours 3 days 11 months.
Not so clever now, are you?

Afterword: Test was a resounding success. No further testing required.

Footnotes

1. Other than Head Researcher Arelli

2. The appendage used for this is unknown, but is presumed to be a drill.

3. Which belonged to Head Researcher Arelli.

4. noun. Person who takes pleasure in making others frustrated or upset.