An advertisement flier found in SCP-4980-A.

Item #: SCP-4980

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-4980 is to be housed in a standard Level-3 pen in the livestock section of Site 67. As offspring of SCP-4980 have been shown to be non-anomalous, mating is to be encouraged as described in Section 5/4980 of the Endangered Species Conservation Protocol. To encourage mating behavior, SCP-4980 are to be allowed to engage in combat once weekly during breeding season.

All researchers must be trained in the safety calls for SCP-4980, and all research must be conducted with an attuned handler present. In the event of an attuned handler's death, tryouts will be held at Site 67 to find a new, compatible handler who may become attuned.

In the event of safety call failure or escape of an instance from Site 67, MTF Beta-21 "Pied Pipers" are to be called in for subdual and/or retrieval.

Description: SCP-4980 is the collective name for twelve biologically, mechanically, and mentally enhanced members of the species Raphus cucullatus, or common dodo. The dodos, individually designated SCP-4980-1 through -12, vary greatly in appearance and enhancements. Enhancements that are of particular note for caretakers and researchers include:

High-intensity lasers (instances -1 and -11)

One flamethrower (instance -4)

A 35mm cannon (instance -3)

Poisonous needles (instances -2, -7, and -9)

Telepathic Pain Projection (instance -12)

Flight (instance -10)

All other known modifications are rendered harmless by proper use of Level III Anomalous Livestock Suits.

SCP-4980 have been modified to optimize combat tactics, increase pack communication, and enforce obedience.

SCP-4980 instances that remain within 20m of a human for over 24 hours develop a psychic bond. Such humans are able to direct the dodo using basic thoughts such as 'attack' and 'run away'.

Addendum 4980.1: Discovery

Rumors of an underground fight club for 'robot birds' were intercepted by Foundation operatives near the University of Tenessee. MTF Iota-10 "Damn Feds" were assigned to raid the fight club. Members Alpha and Beta went undercover as students to obtain entrance, while the remainder of the team posed as federal agents, raiding the club and obtaining the birds (see Addendum 4980.2).

MTF Iota-10 successfully retrieved the original shipping crate the birds arrived in (designated SCP-4980-A) together with accompanying documentation (found in Addendum 4980.3).

Addendum 4980.2: Audio Log

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Overview: Voices on this transcript have been identified as belonging to former WWE announcer Jack Schuler (age 32) and KAMP radio sports co-hosts Harry Harrison (age 19) and Billy Zhang (age 22).

(Unidentified): Does the dark moon do the dirty chicken?

Alpha: Yes, but I prefer the electric slide.

(Unidentified): Right this way, ladies.

[Footsteps echo down metallic hallway. Muffled cheering can be heard. A door opens, and the cheering intensifies.]

Schuler: Ladies, and Gentlemn! Presenting the Original and Unique Extinct Animal Mayhem Menagerie!

[Cheering]

Schuler: In this corner, weighing in at 130 pounds, we have the undefeated, the indefatigable, the indomitable, Mauriiiiitian Marauuuuuuuder!

[Mingled cheering and booing]

Schuler: And in this corner, weighing in at 45 pounds, we have our challenger, the scrappy, the wiry, the Flightleeeeess Furyyyyy!

[Laughter mixed with cheering]

Schuler: Let's get readddyyyyyy to Doooooodooooo!!!!!

[A bell rings. Loud, melodic cooing comes from the dodos, followed by a distorted roaring sound and a metallic screech.]

Harrison: Looks like a strong start from double M. I think the flamethrower was clearly the right move here, given the Fury's mobility.

Zhang: That's right, Harrison. But it looks the the Fury has some tricks up his wings. That poison dart just about finished things for MM. His manager knew what he was doing with the chain mail.

[Gasps from the crowd.]

Harrison: The Fury is down! The Fury is down! He's writhing on the ground. The Marauder isn't even touching him! It's the Psychic Suplex! The agony!

Zhang: Call the match, call it now! This isn't a fight, it's a slaughter!

[Crowd chanting "Fury, Fury!"]

Harrison: Wait, I don't believe it! The Flightless Fury is climbing to his feet!

[Loud dodo shriek. The crowd erupts in cheers]

Zhang: He's out for blood! It's up for grabs now!

Alpha (whispering into comm-link): We've seen enough. Move in.

[A piercing siren sounds, and the crowd panics. Heavy boots pound into the arena]

Alpha: Everybody, freeze! FBI!

Addendum 4980.3: Recovered Documentation

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A note written in Greek and Latin was found alongside SCP-4980-A, together with a flier in Greek advertising "War Dodos".

A translation of the note follows:

CONTENTS: ONE DODO OLYMPIAD TEAM (TWELVE MEMBERS)

OWNER: ALEXYLVA UNIVERSITY

CAUTIONS: FLAMMABLE GOODS. EXPLOSIVE GOODS. EDIBLE GOODS. SHARP GOODS.

DELIVER TO: ATHENS, GREECE, C/O OFFICIAL SENATE OF COLLEGIATE OLYMPICS

PHITRANSIMUN COMBINE IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR LOSS DUE TO ACCIDENTAL DESTRUCTION OF PROPERTY OR FAILURE OF SPACE-TIME CONTINUUM