Item #: SCP-2702

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: Any detected broadcasts or recordings of SCP-2702 are to be intercepted and blocked from public viewing. Civilians exposed to SCP-2702 are to be treated with class B amnestics and released. All instances are to be saved and examined for further research. Level 2 authorization is required to view any recorded SCP-2702 instances.

Attempts to reproduce any experiments conducted on SCP-2702 must be authorized by two (2) level 4 personnel.

Description: SCP-2702 is an educational television program, ostensibly directed at children, titled "Professor Abnormal's Science Lab". The first broadcast of SCP-2702 was detected on ██/██/199█. All attempts to locate the source of the broadcast through triangulation of the signal have so far been unsuccessful; all broadcasts appear to originate simultaneously from three different locations which are randomized in every instance. Broadcasts have been detected worldwide, in over ██ languages, and episodes have also been found in online video hosting and file-sharing sites.

The program is hosted by SCP-2702-1, a middle-aged, Caucasian man dressed in a white lab coat and safety goggles, referred to in each broadcast as "Professor Abnormal".1 Each episode seeks to present an educational overview of various anomalous phenomena. Few of the episodes themselves are anomalous in nature, but they routinely include footage of anomalous nature. SCP-2702-1 appears to have an advanced understanding of the nature of several different anomalies as well as possessing classified information regarding the Foundation and various Groups of Interest across the planet. SCP-2702-1 conveys information in a humorous tone and uses simple explanations for extremely complex and technical information wherever possible.2

SCP-2702-1 often performs experiments demonstrating various anomalous phenomena, and sometimes encourages the audience to attempt said experiments. In addition to SCP-2702-1, various guest characters typically partake in the experiments. A recurring character, designated SCP-2702-2 is known as "Prescott the Robot" in the broadcasts. SCP-2702-2 appears to be a genuinely sapient automaton.3

A series of credits appears at the end of each episode. Attempts to locate information on the individuals and organizations named have so far been unsuccessful.4

Partial Transcript of S1E4 "All About Memetics and Cognitohazards"

Hide Transcript

*After the opening title sequence, cut to a laboratory set. SCP-2702-2 is visible in the background. Camera focuses on a blackboard with a white tarp draped over it. SCP-2702-1 enters from the right of the screen.*

SCP-2702-1: Hey, junior scientists! Today we'll be talking about memetics!

*The word "Memetics" appears in a stylized purple font on the screen, then fades out*

SCP-2702-1: What are memetics? To put it simply, they're stimuli, such as words, pictures, sounds, and ideas, that can affect the way you think. With the right memetic tools, you can even control someone's mind! Let me demonstrate.

*SCP-2702-1 rotates the blackboard until it is facing SCP-2702-2, and lifts the tarp. SCP-2702-2 appears unaffected*

SCP-2702-1: Prescott, what's the matter? Why aren't you hopping on one foot?

SCP-2702-2: I'd say you have a screw loose Professor, but I'm hardly one to talk!

*Canned laughter*

SCP-2702-2: Those silly mind-affecting tricks won't work on robots like me!

*SCP-2702-1 slaps his forehead in an exaggerated manner*

SCP-2702-1: Of course, you're right! But then who can we test it on?

SCP-2702-2: How about our audience?

SCP-2702-1: Great idea, Prescott!

*SCP-2702-1 replaces the tarp over the blackboard and rotates it so it is facing the camera again*

SCP-2702-1: What I'm about to show you is a simple visual cognitomanipulative agent I came up with, that will cause you to hop on one foot for ten seconds once you see it. If you don't want to look silly, then close your eyes now, I'll tell you when it's safe to open them again.

*SCP-2702-1 lifts the tarp off the blackboard, displaying [DATA EXPUNGED]. Tests have confirmed that viewers of the program are affected in the manner SCP-2702-1 had described. After approximately 10 seconds, SCP-2702-1 places the tarp back over the blackboard.*

SCP-2702-1: If you chose not to watch, you can open your eyes now. If you did watch, wasn't that a hoot? I'll bet you want to know how it works, right?

SCP-2702-2: I'm sure they're just jumping to find out!

*Canned laughter*

*The scene shifts to show SCP-2702-1 in front of a green screen effect, displaying [DATA EXPUNGED]. To request access to the remainder of the transcript, contact Researcher Ying.*

The following is a partial list of the currently aired episodes of SCP-2702. Researchers recording said episodes are requested to use the following format:

Episode Title: [Season X Episode X], "[Name of Episode]"

Brief Summary of Episode: [Basic plot and subject of Episode]

Brief Summary of Anomalous Experiments: [Goal and procedure/result of experiments]

Notes: Additional documentation (optional)

Episode Title
Brief Summary of Episode
Brief Summary of Anomalous Experiments
Notes

S1E1 'Alien Lifeforms and You'
SCP-2702-1 demonstrates several live biological specimens of unknown origin, some of which appear to be sapient. SCP-2702-1 proceeds to identify them by species, planet of origin, and gives a brief summary on each.
An experiment is conducted, involving the use of a specific combination of communication technology to intercept extraterrestrial transmissions. Attempts to recreate the experiment have thus far failed due to lack of specialized equipment, including what SCP-2702-1 referred to as a ████████ Analyzer.
SCP-2702-1 seemed to be under the impression that viewers of the program would be able to trivially procure an example of the aforementioned device.

S1E2 'A New Dimension of Fun'
SCP-2702-1 presents a variety of spatial anomalies, and explains the physics behind them.
An experiment is conducted to create a 'teleportation booth'. Researchers have had partial success replicating the experiment, but the resources and energy required rendered it impractical for effective Foundation use.
Several new insights about extradimensional phenomena have been gained via study of SCP-2702-1's descriptions, and research is ongoing.

S1E3 'No Time to Waste'
The episode begins with SCP-2702-1 lamenting his lack of a lab partner. SCP-2702-1 decides to remedy this by building a robot, but then decides it would be easier to travel to the future and retrieve the robot after it was already built. At one point, multiple instances of SCP-2702-1 are visible on screen, as a result of temporal displacement.
Experiment involves using superconductors and a particle accelerator to accomplish time travel. Attempts by researchers to duplicate the experiment in this episode have thus far been unsuccessful.
Introduction of SCP-2702-2

S1E4 'All About Memetics and Cognitohazards'
SCP-2702-1 and SCP-2702-2 explain the nature of cognitohazardous memes, including several demonstrations. See above transcript for further details.
Procedures for creating mind-affecting agents are exhibited. SCP-2702-1 warns viewers not to include dangerous commands in such agents without parental authorization.
Episode contains one active visual memetic agent, threat status negligible. Several censored cognitohazards, capable of various effects, are also present, 67% of which have been decoded as of ██/██/20██. Analysis of this episode has contributed significantly towards Foundation memetics research.

S1E5 'Gods and Monsters'
SCP-2702-1 and SCP-2702-2 visit various locales around the world,5 while SCP-2702-1 expounds on the history and mythology of various groups and civilizations, including the Church of the Broken God.
An experiment involves a ritual designed to summon [REDACTED]. SCP-2702-1 warns viewers that this should not be attempted without parental supervision.
Attempting to recreate the ritual in this episode resulted in a containment breach and complete lockdown of Site 64. Containment was reestablished with 27 casualties. As of ██/██/20██, level 4 authorization is required to attempt to recreate any experiments seen on SCP-2702.

S1E6 'The Wonders of AI'
SCP-2702-1 attempts to show audiences how to build their own instances of SCP-2702-2. At various points in the episode, SCP-2702-2's personality is altered in various ways.
Several experiments with AI code are performed. Results of research and experiments from this episode are available with level 3 clearance from the Foundation AI research department.
None

S1E7 'The SCP Foundation'
Instead of the usual laboratory setting, this episode appears to take place in Site-24. SCP-2702-1 and SCP-2702-2 are shown infiltrating the facility and explaining the nature of the Foundation and various SCPs they encounter, while avoiding guards and researchers.
No experiments are performed in this episode, but SCP-2702-1 gives a tutorial on the proper format for writing an SCP report.
The depiction and description of the Foundation in this episode is highly accurate, with the exception that the guards and security forces were portrayed with comic ineptitude. Several individuals who were stationed at Site-24 during the time of the broadcast can be identified in the recording. No security breaches of the nature displayed in the program have ever been recorded at Site-24.

S1E8 'How it will End'
SCP-2702-1 and SCP-2702-2 discuss several situations that could potentially lead to CK-class restructuring scenarios, XK-class end-of-the-world scenarios, ZK-class reality failure events, and other such scenarios. Topics covered include uncontrollable self-replicating nanotechnology (the 'gray goo' scenario), containment failure of SCP-███, and an impact event between the Earth and [REDACTED]. SCP-2702-1 emphasizes the fact that these are only a small sampling of many such potential events.
At the prompting of SCP-2702-1, SCP-2702-2 ran several hundred iterations of a computer simulation detailing a potential impact event involving the Earth and [REDACTED]. Each iteration was not individually depicted, but the final results were summarized at the end of the program. Despite taking into account potential responses by the Foundation and other Groups of Interest, the simulation inevitably concluded with a GH - class Dead Greenhouse scenario within one month of the impact.
After reviewing the episode, Foundation astronomers have successfully identified [REDACTED]. Due to its non-Newtonian properties, the likelihood of a collision with Earth in the near future cannot currently be estimated.

Footnotes

1. Attempts to identify this individual have so far been unsuccessful.

2. On occasion, SCP-2702-1 engages in highly complex technical explanations. For an overview and analysis of all currently recorded examples, see Document 2702-theta.

3. In S1E6 "The Wonders of AI", SCP-2702-1 demonstrates samples of SCP-2702-2's source code. Attempts by Foundation researchers to run said code revealed [REDACTED], which is consistent with current Foundation knowledge of AI theory.

4. Doctor Wondertainment is listed as one of the program's sponsors.

5. Including what have been identified as the sites of SCP-███, SCP-███, and SCP-████. Foundation security forces stationed at the aforementioned sites have never observed any disturbances or intruders matching the events documented in SCP-2702.