Item#: 7344

Containment Class: euclid

Secondary Class: none

Disruption Class: vlam

Risk Class: notice

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-7344 is to be contained in a standard animate object containment unit at Site-228. The containment unit must be equipped with motion sensors and security cameras to monitor SCP-7344's movements. In the event of any unusual activity or attempted breach, security personnel are to be notified immediately.

Description: SCP-7344 is an animate sheet of paper measuring approximately 21 cm x 29.7 cm, resembling a standard A4 size sheet. It features a smiling face drawn on it using black ink, composed of multiple thaumaturgic symbols arranged in a specific pattern.

SCP-7344 is able to manipulate its edges to mimic both bipedal and quadrupedal walking. It displays a high level of coordination and agility while moving, adapting its locomotion method according to the terrain and obstacles present. SCP-7344 has also demonstrated an ability to change its shape, contorting and folding itself to fit through narrow gaps and crevices.

It also exhibits exceptional resistance to damage. SCP-7344 is impervious to tearing, puncturing, or other physical alterations. Attempts to damage SCP-7344 have proven futile, as it quickly repairs any inflicted damage by rearranging its structure.

SCP-7344 is capable of vocalizing, emitting various animalistic moans and grunts. However, it does not display any ability to communicate through language or comprehend spoken or written communication.

It was discovered on 2018/12/10 in Budapest, Hungary. SCP-7344 was found in the basement of a local bookstore, which served as a hiding spot for a Global Occult Coalition (GOC) agent. The agent, identified as Agent Nagai, was found deceased in the building's basement with numerous lacerations covering his body.

The documents found in the possession of Agent Nagai revealed that he was investigating a local Group of Interest known as the Brothers of Bone, a group of thaumaturgists who use necromancy for business purposes.

The recording of a phone call between Agent Nagai and an unidentified man (hereafter referred to as PoI-7344) was found on Agent Nagai's cell phone, which was recorded a few minutes before his death.

[BEGIN LOG]

PoI-7344: Hallo! It's the Brothers of Bone call center. How can I help you?

Agent Nagai: Hallo! I'm… uh… call me Mister Nouri. I don't want to use my full or real name because of… obvious reasons.

PoI-7344: I understand your concerns. That said, we value discretion more than anything else, it's one of the core values of the Brothers of Bone establishment.

Agent Nagai: I… I know I just…

PoI-7344: No problem, sir. I will call you Mister Nouri if it is more comfortable for you. Everything for our customers.

Agent Nagai: Thank you very much. So, I got this number from a former client of the Brothers of Bone and I'm looking for something. And I have to ask that are you… I mean the Brothers of Bone are, you know, using… forces to… to do things with the dead? I mean that's what I heard.

PoI-7344: You meant to say necromancers? Yes, they are. Most of us here know how to do it. Not all of us practice it, but we all know a thing or two about this so-misunderstood form of witchcraft or "art" as the bosses like to call it.

Agent Nagai: I admit it is a powerful thing, but I see no art in it. No offense.

PoI-7344: Let me tell you the motto of the Brothers of Bone, Mister Nouri. Respect death. Death is a new beginning. It surrounds us, it's in the air, in the earth, in the water. Dead trees in our papers, dead animals on our plates, and even our vehicles are fueled by creatures who died millions of years ago. We respect death with our power, with our soul, and with our art.

Agent Nagai: Hmmm… not bad but I don't think a motto should be that long.

PoI-7344: Fair point, Mister Nouri. The Brothers of Bone really like to be overdramatic, theatrical…. aaand a little bit hammy sometimes. But anyways, you called because you need something, Mister Nouri. We have a wide array of products. I'm pretty sure we have what you need.

Agent Nagai: Well… it wasn't me actually but one of my friends who heard about it. It's this water gun made of human internal organs. Ya know, the type that can transform the water into urine.1

PoI-7344: Ahh, the Peestol. It's a classic. It's one of the first objects the Brothers of Bone ever made. The brothers themselves actually made it as a school project. Unfortunately, the school wasn't really happy about it but that's another story. Anyways, how many Peestoles do you want to buy?

Agent Nagai: Just a very few. Two or maybe four. It will be a prank for the office's Christmas party.

PoI-7344: That sounds fun Mister Nouri. I bet they will never forget this Christmas.

Agent Nagai: Thanks. I just want to try something crazy.

PoI-7344: Oh, I'm pretty sure something crazy will happen, Mister Nouri. We can ship them to you within a week. But you have to receive the items in a specific location. These are very unusual items so we'll obviously send our own people to bring them to you. I can give you the exact location right now if you have a piece of paper and a pen.

Agent Nagai: Yes, yes j-just wait a second… Okay, I've got it. What is the address?

PoI-7344: Budapest

Agent Nagai: Budapest… okay. Which street and house?

PoI-7344: Sanguis et os. Vita et mors. Arbor praeteriti temporis. Redeo ad vitam.

Agent Nagai: What the… What's happening?

PoI-7344: What's wrong Agent Nagai?

Agent Nagai: The letters I wrote. They… they transformed into a bunch of symbols. Wait… what did you call me?

PoI-7344: You really thought you can fool any of us? We already knew that you hiding in that bookstore, you pillock. Anyways, I'll let you deal with the paperwork. Bye-bye.

Agent Nagai: Wait! Don't…

[The number you have dialed has been disconnected or is no longer in service. Please check the number and try again.]

[END LOG]

The identity of PoI-7344 is currently unidentified. Investigation ongoing.

Footnotes

1. According to the notes found in Agent Nagai's possession, the GOC had a raid on one of the warehouses of the Brothers of Bone where they found anomalous objects similar to the aforementioned items.