Item#: 4953

Containment Class: keter

Secondary Class: none

Disruption Class: ekhi

Risk Class: caution

Special Containment Procedures: Foundation agents embedded in Restaurant Brands International Inc1 are to conduct marketing campaigns portraying SCP-4953 as a promotion for the company. These marketing campaigns are to portray SCP-4953 as reclusive and camera-shy, and suggest customers refrain from directly interacting with the entity.

In the event of a manifestation, Foundation AIs are to alert nearby response teams and provide a live security feed for the duration of the event. Foundation webcrawlers are to analyze posts regarding the anomaly and remove information about the entity's anomalous nature. Amnestics are to be administered to witnesses only in the event SCP-4953-1 manifests or SCP-4953 displays anomalous behavior beyond its manifestation.

Should SCP-4953 manifest near Foundation personnel, an interview is to be conducted. See Document 4953-INTERVIEW for guidelines. Nearby civilians are to be amnesticised following the interview.

Description: SCP-4953 is a humanoid entity resembling a middle-aged human male. It wears a gold crown and clothing reminiscent of medieval royalty. SCP-4953 has been seen carrying medieval-era weaponry, such as swords and battle axes, but has never shown hostility towards a civilian unless provoked.

SCP-4953 is capable of manifesting in any Burger King licensed restaurant. SCP-4953 will always appear to enter and exit through a doorway—it is impossible for viewers to directly observe the entity appearing. The entity can exist in only one location at a time and manifests, on average, once every two to three days. Manifestations typically last less than twenty minutes, but have been occasionally observed to last up to several hours.

During a manifestation SCP-4953 will order food from the restaurant. Any order given by the entity to a Burger King employee will be carried out to the best of the employee's ability. Employees ignore customer orders until SCP-4953's requests are fulfilled. Interviewed employees universally believe that actions taken under SCP-4953's command were performed of their own volition and do not consider the entity's orders unusual. Items ordered rarely conform to standard menu items but always consist of ingredients available at the restaurant.

SCP-4953-1 is the designation for any entity brought alongside or created by SCP-4953. SCP-4953 creates and repairs SCP-4953-1 instances using hamburger ingredients. These entities appear in a variety of animal and humanoid forms. Humanoid SCP-4953-1 instances are incapable of speech but appear to communicate with SCP-4953 using a rudimentary form of sign language.

Addendum 4953.1: Notable Manifestation Log

Location: Riverbank, California

Items Ordered: Seventeen hamburgers, one french fry, one medium soft drink, three napkins.

Summary of Events: SCP-4953 consumes the french fry and napkins, and polishes its crown with the soft drink. It then begins to construct a canine SCP-4953-1 instance using the hamburgers. The meat and bread are used for the body’s structure, while items such as tomatoes and onions are placed internally, or used to decorate the surface. SCP-4953 finishes the instance by placing a mass of cheese in the head and sealing it closed. Once the entity is complete, it staggers to its feet, taking a few moments to learn to balance on its legs. Once it is able to properly walk, it begins to pace around the restaurant.

The canine entity shows affection towards SCP-4953 and civilians, and allows a group of children to play with it. The canine's saliva appears to be composed of mustard, which it leaves streaks of on objects and people it licks. The parents of one of the children, upon seeing him covered in mustard, express agitation towards SCP-4953 and ask it to restrain the SCP-4953-1 instance. SCP-4953 apologizes to the parents, picks up the canine entity, and scolds it before exiting.

Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado

Items Ordered: Ten hamburgers, three boxes of chicken fries.

Summary of Events: A humanoid SCP-4953-1 instance missing its left leg manifests alongside SCP-4953. The SCP-4953-1 instance uses a cane composed of a plastic material to walk. SCP-4953 constructs a replacement leg using the hamburgers, shaping them into a cylinder with a joint in the center, and attaches it to SCP-4953-1, using pickles as an adhesive. Using its new leg, the instance is able to walk without its cane, but appears to have difficulty balancing.

The two entities have a conversation while they consume the chicken fries together. They discuss a battle, with SCP-4953 boasting about enemies it has defeated, and SCP-4953-1 signing enthusiastically. At one point, SCP-4953 stands up and acts out several sword thrusts using the cane.

Location: Toronto, Canada

Items Ordered: Two hamburgers, one with extra mayonnaise, one burger wrapper, one straw.

Summary of Events: SCP-4953 manifests with a large laceration on its left arm. Condiments such as ketchup and mayonnaise leak from the injury rather than blood. The entity staggers while it walks and appears distressed by its injury, breathing heavily and grasping at the wound.

The server empties an entire container of mayonnaise onto the hamburger. SCP-4953 inserts one end of the straw into the mayonnaise, and the other end into its arm2. Mayonnaise is siphoned through the straw and into the entity's arm.

Sliced onions are used along with a needle to suture the injury. Lettuce from the second hamburger is applied to the laceration, which appears to fuse with the entity's skin, and the wrapper is used to dress the wound.

SCP-4953 remains until the majority of the mayonnaise has been siphoned. It apologizes to the servers for its actions before leaving.

Location: Chihuahua, Mexico

Items Ordered: Three hamburgers, a large soft drink, six french fries.

Summary of Events: A civilian points a knife at SCP-4953 and demands it give him its crown. SCP-4953 opens its soft drink and throws the contents into the civilian's face. The soft drink appears to act as an irritant, causing a rash to develop and irritating his eyes. SCP-4953 then tackles him, pulling the knife from his hand while they fall to the ground. SCP-4953 keeps the civilian pinned to the ground until he yields.

SCP-4953 helps the civilian stand up. It complements his "fighting spirit" but warns him that there will "be no mercy" should the civilian attack it again. SCP-4953 gives the civilian a french fry before motioning him to the door.

Location: Ipswich, United Kingdom

Items Ordered: Three large cartons of french fries, two hamburgers.

Summary of Events: SCP-4953 manifests riding an equine SCP-4953-1 instance decorated with complex patterns made of onions and tomatoes. SCP-4953 feeds the SCP-4953-1 instance the french fries (including the paper cartons.) SCP-4953 climbs over the counter and uses the computer to print a message on a receipt.

SCP-4953 begins to construct an avian SCP-4953-1 instance using the hamburgers. The entity animates before its head has been attached and flies around the restaurant for several minutes while SCP-4953 attempts to catch it. This excites the equine entity, causing it to gallop around the restaurant, knocking over tables and customers. SCP-4953 is eventually able to subdue both of the entities and finish constructing the avian SCP-4953-1 instance.

SCP-4953 then attaches the printed message to the avian's leg and exits with it.

Addendum 4953.2: Interview Log

On 22/12/2019, SCP-4953 manifested in the same restaurant Agent Ingram was eating at. The entity ordered eighteen hamburgers and a soft drink. The following interview was conducted while SCP-4953 waited for its order.

Interviewed: SCP-4953

Interviewer: Agent Ingram

Location: Burger King in Pueblo, Colorado.

[BEGIN LOG]

Agent Ingram: Excuse me, can I speak with you?

SCP-4953: Oh! Forgive my surprise, subject, it's not often I'm approached by your kind. Speak as you wish.

Agent Ingram: Alright. Can you tell me where you came from?

SCP-4953: From the battlefield, as you might be able to tell. I apologize if my appearance offends the eye, I have been hard pressed to find time to restore my garments.

Agent Ingram: Your clothes are fine. Tell me about this battlefield. Is it possible for someone other than yourself to go there?

SCP-4953: What a strange question! Less strange, I suppose, to one unfamiliar with my realm. Tell me, does your kind understand war?

Agent Ingram: Uh, yes.

SCP-4953: Then I would expect you to know what a blessing it is to be away from the fighting. Whether you could return with me, I cannot say, but I think it best you fight your own battles.

Agent Ingram: I'm with… I work for a scientist. We're researching how your dimension connects to ours.

SCP-4953: I can respect the pursuit of science, but truth be told, that's not something I can explain. We're not exactly… supposed to be using the restaurants. It's one of the oldest treaties, to keep the war on our own fronts.

Agent Ingram: Treaties? Are there more entities like you?

SCP-4953: Indeed, though you likely won't meet them in person. Not all are kings, mind you. My ally Horton prefers to fight alongside his soldiers. Not that I don't end up in scuffles of my own! You should have seen my duel with Jack at Grease's Edge. A battle for the ages, it was!

Agent Ingram: Tell me more about this war. How long have you been fighting?

SCP-4953: It is a war as old as time. Just as your kind squabbles with coins and numbers, we fight by shield and blade. While I sometimes regret the bloodshed, competition is the only way to keep righteous empires like my own on top! I'm sure you understand.

Agent Ingram: I'm not sure I understand what it is you're fighting over.

SCP-4953: The beef, my friend, the beef! Should our worlds be just, all of it must be under the domain of a Burger King!

Agent Ingram: Can you elaborate-

SCP-4953's order number is called.

SCP-4953: I'm sorry, but this is where our conversation must end. The Tyrant Arby approaches fast on this location, and my army needs these supplies. I bid you farewell.

Agent Ingram: Hold on, who is Tyrant Arby? He's coming here?

SCP-4953 does not respond. It retrieves its order and demanifests.

[END LOG]

Addendum 4953.3: As a result of Agent Ingram's interview, a Foundation response team was stationed near the Pueblo Burger King. The following week, restaurant chain Arby's purchased a building nearby the location to open a new restaurant. Whether this is related to SCP-4953 is currently unknown.

Footnotes

1. Parent company of Burger King.

2. In the location of the median cubital vein in humans, often used for IV insertion.